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seravphs · 10 months

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ੈ♡˳·˖✶ — ITOSHI SAE x FEM READER

Even when you’re no longer dating Sae, Rin always comes running to you when they have a fight.

wc — 1k

tags — angst, childhood friends to lovers to exes, reader treats Rin like her little brother

“You shouldn’t keep doing this.”

Rin’s eyes shutter. That’s the only way to describe it. He’s so good at that - flicking the switch that turns it off.

Or maybe it’s unintentional. It’s always a reaction, after all. The little stars in his eyes fade in and out, hints of the little boy he was. To you, he’ll always be that kid.

He steps off your stoop. “You said-“

He shuts himself up, jaw closing around what he wants to say next. You know Rin, even now. He won’t want to show his hand to you. He was so cute as a kid, running to you with all his little cuts and bruises. Now he’s all wounded pride, too grown up to come asking for a kiss to heal the hurt.

You grab his shoulder before he can walk away. He’s so easy to read it makes your heart ache. He’s half yours, after all.

“I didn’t mean you should leave.”

“I’m not going to stay where I’m not wanted,” Rin says stiffly.

It’s a testament to your enduring relationship that he shared that at all. You let a huffed laugh escape you, reach up to ruffle his hair. He’s still so cute to you, even when he acts tough.

“What if I said I wanted you to stay?”

“There’s no need to lie.”

“Don’t sulk, Rin-Rin. You know I’d never turn you away.”

It’s true - even if you broke up with Sae months ago, Rin would always have a seat at your table. You had promised him.

You usher Rin inside and sit him down on your couch. He hunches in on himself, bangs hanging in his eyes. You resist the urge to clip them up for him, not knowing how much coddling he’ll tolerate.

“What’s wrong, honey?” You ask as you rummage through the pantry. Where is it? You know you bought it after the last week he showed up, just in case he came back.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he says defensively. “I just wanted to see you.”

Since he won’t be able to tell, you allow yourself to roll your eyes. You know Rin loves you, but that’s not why he’s here. Reaching into the fridge, you take out the rice from last night along with some other leftovers. The tea you took from the pantry goes into a cup to steep.

“Whenever you’re ready, then. You know I’m not going to push.”

Rin makes a muffled grunt that could either yes or no. You bring the food over to him. You barely set it down before he’s looking up at you with those sorrowful eyes and you can’t resist the urge to hold him any longer. You let him rest his head against your stomach as you stroke his hair, rubbing his back gently.

Rin turns his head against you, further nuzzling into you. He’s only like this with you. He’s your baby, after all. You and Sae had practically raised him. When he tilts his head, you can see the crystalline clump to his lashes and the frown on his face.

There’s only one person who can reduce Rin to that state.

You let Rin have his fill of comfort before he lets you go to start on his meal. Then, you walk into the other room for some privacy before you give your ex a piece of your mind.

Sae picks up half a second after the first ring. Predictably, he lets you speak first.

“What did you do?”

“Was I away for so long I forgot how the Japanese say hello? I could’ve sworn-“

“Hello, Sae. What did you do to Rin?”

There’s a beat of annoyed silence.

“Why is that any of your business? We’re broken up, remember?”

You do remember. You’d been the one to call it quits, after all.

“Rin’s with me-“

“Brat,” Sae‘s tone is all annoyance. “Running to my ex-girlfriend just because we had a fight?”

“So you did do something!”

“I’m coming over.”

“Don’t-“

He hung up.

“Rin, honey?” You call into the other room, receiving a yes through a mouth of food in reply. “Sae might be coming here.”

That gets him up immediately. The door flies open and Rin stands there, looking at you with betrayed eyes that batter your heart. “Why?”

“No, I didn’t tell him to! He just said he was coming - listen, you don’t have to say anything to him, okay? You can just stay here. I’ll talk to him.”

“I don’t want you guys to talk without me.”

Even if he doesn’t say it explicitly, you know what the underlying meaning of his words are. He wants to hear what Sae has to say, even if it hurts.

He doesn’t want the two of you to fight.

There’s a knock at the door. You and Rin share a look before he’s sprinting for it, you chasing after him. There’s no way you can outrun him, but still-

You won’t be able to bear the look in his eyes when he sees Sae. He always makes the same face every time. Big, starry eyes for his big brother, his hero - right before Sae opens his mouth and crushes those stars in his bare fist.

The door opens.

In thinking about Rin, you had forgotten something crucial. Seeing your ex again stops your heart.

“Are you serious?” Sae says, annoyed. He’s dressed lightly, in a simple T-shirt and shorts. His hair is rumpled. “You can’t handle a little argument so you have to have her comfort you? How old are you?”

“Don’t talk to him like that,” you snap.

“Why are you even letting him into your house?” Sae asks. “We’re over.”

“We’re over,” you remind him. You should’ve predicted that nothing productive would come out of seeing him. The lingering feelings of resentment from your failed relationship are boiling inside of you. “Rin and I are fine.”

You try to shut the door in his face. When he doesn’t budge, you huff and walk away, back inside.

“Where are you going? We’re not done.”

“I’m taking Rin home,” you’re already snatching your keys off the table.

“I can do it. He’s my brother-“

Rin comes up behind you, clenches his fingers into the hem of your shirt. Plays the role of a little brother so well as he can only do with you, because you let him. You encourage him to, actually. You had always wanted a little brother, and when Sae had introduced you to Rin, you had practically adopted him for your own.

Sae’s probably regretting that decision now, seeing Rin’s silent choice. The minute Sae’s face falls, seeing this, you want to take it back, but how would Rin feel if you did? You can’t.

“Alright,” Sae says, defeated, just the way you wanted but somehow it doesn’t feel good at all. “I understand.”

#sera writes #itoshi sae x reader #sae x reader #itoshi sae angst #sae angst #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #bllk angst #blue lock angst

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saerins · 1 year

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─── 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒

+ itoshi sae x f!reader | wc 4k | content: angst, best friends to lovers to strangers type beat, i did not proof this besties

notes: lmao me , thinking i could get away from this man . guess who’s back with more sae ??? <3

summary: you’re the one sae can’t get over. he’s beginning to think he never will.

the freshly cooked bread is on the floor. it litters the nice marble tiles. the chit of paper with the order writes mr. rin hatoki.

“i'm tired of this, sae.”

sae doesn't say a word. he's listless, sitting on the kitchen table, staring at his own reflection on the glass, wondering where it all went wrong.

“why don't you love me anymore?”

it's weird. he can hear the sorrow. he can feel the pain. yet he feels nothing.

“what does she have that i don’t?”

maybe you're right. maybe he's an asshole. maybe this is his punishment.

the first time sae laid eyes on you, you were five and he was six.

he saw you playing with rin on the slides, and he remembers the way you smiled at him when rin told you sae was his older brother.

and even back then, even if it was a tiny crush based on superficial reasons like how sae liked your smile or your eyes or the way your hands felt on his when you locked hands and forced him to play with you and rin, he remembers you mocking rin and calling sae nii-chan.

sae remembers how he cringed inside because no. no no, he didn’t want you calling him that because that wasn’t what he wanted you to know him for. he didn’t know what he wanted exactly, but definitely not an older brother.

"itoshi-kun!"

“sae,” he corrected you, watching as you ran up to him on the field.

he loved the soft smile you wore on when you heard him. he especially loved the first time you said his name.

“sae.”

the first time he saw you cry, it was when you scraped your knee after some boys accidentally pushed you over.

you were nine.

sae scared them away afterwards.

you weren’t exactly sobbing—he found out you were funny like that, like you wanted to cry but didn’t want to let anyone see. but it was frustrating because sae wasn’t just anyone. or so he liked to think.

“get on,” sae told you, getting down on one knee with his back turned to you.

“what?” you sniffled, vision still blurry from your would-be tears.

sae craned his neck to look back at you, a faint smile on his face. “come on, i’ll carry you home.”

“i’m not weak, you know,” you argued, and sae would’ve told you to just accept his offer when he realised you already did, obediently climbing onto his back and wrapping your arms around his neck.

it was a relatively silent walk back. sae could hear the rapid beating of your heart though.

maybe it was a tiny crush too. the kind that stuck with you for three years and four months and threatened to stick with you for the rest of your life.

“hey, sae?”

“hm?”

a pregnant pause. you held him tighter before ultimately loosening your grip.

“mm, nothing.”

sae really wanted to hear you. but he let it go.

it was torture, really—you were fifteen when you got your first boyfriend. some guy called oliver aiku. who looked way too old for you, by the way, but fine, if you said he was only a year older than sae, who was he to question you?

sae hated it, really. watching you at the swings, laughing along with him, watching oli feed you ice cream. and you said oliver was a good striker too? sae bet he was better.

what did he have that sae didn’t?

and sae thought he’d love to witness the day when the two of you broke up. but he never counted on the fact that you’d be a mess when your heart was broken.

you ignored sae and rin for a couple of weeks, choosing to stay isolated, refusing to see anyone. you weren’t even replying sae’s texts.

[17:34] hey y/n, pick up the phone, idiot.

[17:34] rin misses you.

okay so that last part was a lie, but it was fine, rin didn’t have to find out.

[17:35] hey sae. :)

[17:35] hmm… so you don’t miss me?

sae had to do a double take at your text. since when did you become this cheeky? he didn’t even know why he was suppressing a smile.

it took him less than a minute before he got up.

[17:36] maybe.

[17:37] be at your place in 10, let’s get ice cream.

funny how he wanted to replace all of oliver’s memories. sae wanted you to lick the ice cream that he was holding. sae wanted you to play on the swings with him. everything him, no other stupid boys who would make you cry, who didn’t deserve you.

that was exactly what sae did—asked you what you did with oliver. you’d answer him, and he’d do the exact same with you, and he’d rewrite all the memories you thought would be so hard to forget, the very same memories you thought would be impossible to replace. yet sae did it, replaced the bad with the good.

sae wasn’t a mind reader, he couldn’t tell what you were thinking as he got you ice cream and fed it to you, couldn’t tell if you liked how he walked with his arm around your shoulder. couldn’t tell if you knew what he was doing.

he wished that you knew how he felt—then that’d make one of you. because sae had no clue.

“hey, sae?”

“hm?”

he got deja vu there.

and this time, you continued.

“do you do this for other girls too?”

sae nearly choked on that question because no, he didn’t do nearly as much for other people in general. you were the only one he’d ever put this much effort to.

“no.”

he can still remember your little smile to this day. it was pretty, even prettier since it was because of him. it was like a silent knowledge you both shared—you didn’t want him to do that for other girls, and he didn’t want to share you with other boys.

simple, but complicated. complicated because you were both shit at feelings and shit at admitting but it was still beautiful, if only because neither of you ever strayed.

back then.

“what about a house?”

“i’ll buy you the nicest, cosiest one there is.”

“anywhere in the world?”

sae nodded. “anywhere you want.”

“i want to open a bakery one day. you gonna help me with that?”

“i’ll help you with anything you want.”

you giggled. “yeah? you and what money, sae?”

he rolled his eyes, resting his head against his palm, elbow propped up on your study table. “when i become the best soccer player in the world, genius.”

sae flicked your forehead gently, as he remembers he liked to, smiling softly when you winced in faux pain.

it’s funny how comfortable he felt talking about shit like that with you, only half-joking. it was an innocent conversation on how sae said he would be able to take care of you when you were both older. even if it wasn’t his place, even if he wasn’t even your boyfriend yet then.

“oh? so i’ll get the world’s best soccer player itoshi sae all to myself?”

it all sounded dreamy and attainable when you were both eighteen and sitting on cloud nine. when the both of you were dreamers with rose tinted glasses and honeyed tongues to match.

“is that a confession, y/n l/n?”

he remembers he caught you off guard. he knew because the way you behaved when you were flustered was already ingrained in his mind. the way you fumbled over your words, the way you couldn’t hold eye contact, the way you made him melt with how you seemed so vulnerable for a split second.

“what if it was?”

that was the first time you ever managed to render him speechless. only because of how honest you were being. only because sae wanted you to want him and you did and then he was reduced to some infatuated idiot.

“good, me too.”

and maybe that was his first mistake. when he didn’t make sure you knew he wanted you for more than just that moment, that he had wanted you for a long time coming.

maybe that was the first in line for the domino effect.

life hit hard and fast by the time sae made a name for himself as one of the best midfielders in the world. he opened his eyes and saw that japan was not for him—he wanted more for himself, for his career.

sae wanted to move. and at the time, he wanted to bring you with him.

“how’s spain?”

it was the usual call the two of you had—a routine set in place because sae found he’d miss you too much if he didn’t hear from you for a while. it sucked that he couldn’t bring you with him now, not when he wasn’t best yet and not when you had a degree to finish.

“great, i play in the official match tomorrow, starting eleven.”

mundane updates about each other’s lives. he’d tell you about his soccer trainings and you’d fill him in on school. but for sae, it wasn’t enough. so he took a leap of faith this time, he was sure what he wanted.

“hey, what if we moved out here next time?” sae asked, cutting you off.

you stuttered, flustered and overwhelmed. in hindsight, maybe asking you that sort of thing when the both of you weren’t even officially together was kind of a stretch.

but sae had been sure at that point of time.

“there’s a lot to consider, sae.”

it was that tricky line where you were both more than friends but less than lovers and sae knew that over the phone wasn’t the ideal place to do it but he didn’t want to drag it on any longer.

“i mean, we’re not even together and we’re both just still kids, and—”

“then be mine.”

“i- what?”

for the first time, he was thinking about the future. and it had to be with you. he couldn’t imagine it another way. and when you agreed to be his that day, when you agreed you’d consider it for the future, sae was happier than he let on.

for the first time, the future was a little clearer. become the best midfielder, find a good forward worthy of his passes, and when all that was done and dusted, he’d always come back to you at the end of the day.

sae had thought hard about it.

but evidently not hard enough.

reality hit like a truck.

because fast forward five years into the future and you had moved out to spain to be with sae, your future husband, the diamond ring nestled comfortably on your finger.

moving in with sae was fun, exciting. it was a new place, new continent, new start. sae was with you every step of the way, choosing the house, choosing the furniture. turned out, being one of the most in-demand soccer players paid way too well.

what sae never considered was the gravity of what he asked you to do—uproot your entire life to be with him. you were both still young and full of life and loved seeking thrills and you both failed to grasp what the consequences would be.

it was harder than you bargained; adjusting to the new country, learning a new language, making new friends and learning the culture. sae was a pivotal part of your support system, but sometimes he didn’t have a choice; he couldn’t be there for you a hundred percent. he had soccer, contracts to fulfil, people to please. you needed him more than you realised.

and when you moved in together, both of you saw sides to one another you never really saw before. like how you get frustrated when sae messes the entire bedroom up after you spent the entire day cleaning the mansion. or how sae shut down whenever he was having doubts about his team, his plays.

it was difficult. but it still worked.

for a while.

but arguments were getting more frequent. and sae forgot why he did this in the first place. maybe you should’ve spoken up more too, whenever something bothered you, then maybe you wouldn’t have felt this resentful.

you blamed sae for asking you to move out here. but it was what you wanted too.

it got to a point where there was an animosity between the both of you that you couldn’t handle. the type that made you sad because somehow sae turned into someone you didn’t even recognise.

“where’d you go last night?”

sae sighed, like you were a bother, but really you weren’t. he was just being a dick. it was never okay to just abandon your fiancé at home all because of a dumb fight which he couldn’t even remember by now.

“stayed over at the captain’s,” was all he told you. didn’t even bother explaining.

he wishes he did, then maybe you’d stop getting the idea that this relationship had hit a dead end.

“is that what we’re going to do now? just leave the other one alone, not talk when we fight?” you were soft, because you were tired. you’d been tired for a while.

you were tired. sae lost track of himself. everything was a mess and neither of you had the capability to handle it. sae was thinking maybe he made a mistake, and you were thinking it wasn’t too late to turn back. he couldn’t be bothered to remember how you got here in the first place, and he missed all the signs you gave him.

how you had stayed up late just to wait up for him whenever he had practice. how you agreed to be with him through everything and kept a smile on your face even when things were hard on you personally. how you cooked for two even when sae said he wouldn’t have time for dinners at home, just in case.

he’s sorry; you thought of him way too much, and he didn’t give you enough.

“sae, say something, please?” you were on the verge of tears, and he was on the verge of giving up.

sae knows what you wanted to hear now. but back then, he didn’t. he was too pressed on his own feelings that he just couldn’t find it in himself to think for you.

“what do you want me to say?”

you sat next to him on the couch, and he could hear you sniffling. he didn’t turn to look at you, didn’t ask about you, didn’t try to console you. for his own good. because he thought he knew where it was going, and it was better if he didn’t.

“sae… do you still want this?”

that was the first time he was unsure. because what he knew was that there was no one else for him. there was only you. he wanted only you, but everything turned out like this and he felt conflicted, tired.

he just wasn’t sure.

“i don’t know.”

but that was as good of an answer to you as any.

you’d watched him over the years. you’d tolerated all of his misgivings, you’d watched him train even when he was injured, even when you begged him to rest. you’d supported him throughout everything. you were everything to him, but at that moment, sae failed to tell you, and you couldn’t hold on to something that seemed so futile, something that was hanging on by a single thread.

something that might’ve snapped at any moment.

the next day, all sae woke up to was the engagement ring on his bedpost and your absence from his life.

it’s been another five years since then.

sae’s back in japan. for some reason.

no, not some. just one. just you.

to think that up until now, sae still thinks of you. you’re always there somehow, in his memories. when he scores a goal, he still instinctively looks for your face in the crowd. when people interview him and ask him about possible partners, his first thought is your name. when he goes on his socials, he looks for you first. it’s habit.

sae’s jealous, still. even after four years apart. he still loves you. he’s still stupid. he’s still too late.

you’re happy now, if your posts are any indication. you live with him too. sae sometimes wishes he was him. then maybe he’d get to feel you again, be around you, hover over you and annoy you to no end. maybe he’d get to hear you call his name again.

but that’s a long shot.

you’re about to be mrs mikage soon. reo’s a lucky guy, whoever the fuck he is. sae hates him, but it’s biased. he’s probably good to you. he helped you build that bakery you always wanted, after all.

the bakery sae always orders from under a fake name because he doesn’t know whether you hate him and he’d rather not risk it. it’s the only way he knows how to hold on to you, to still feel close to you.

so he’s mr. rin hatoki.

“tell me!”

his girlfriend’s voice is shrill, it brings him back to the present, to his current predicament. to the fact that he’s been trying to put you in the past, but he’s not able to. and she knows it, too. she’s not dumb.

she probably stalked you ever since she first started dating him. she probably knew all along that the breakfasts sae buys for her is his pathetic excuse to just support your business. she probably knew that from the start, she stood no chance against you.

“i beg you, sae,” she’s crying now, and sae feels bad for regressing to this state, to hurting other people but most of all, he feels bad for flat out wishing she was you. “just break my heart already if you’re going to do it.”

two years with her down the drain. because he can’t forget about you.

sae doesn’t even look up at her because he’s filled with the vision of you smiling in his head. that’s all he’s staring at.

she asked what you had that she didn’t. and sae only knows the one answer is his heart.

“you’ll never be her.”

sae stares at you from the driver’s seat. he’s parked on the opposite side of the road, it should be safely tucked away enough that you won’t notice.

you’re closing up. you look like an angel. you’re dawdling, slowly mopping up the floors, your hair so messy and you’re still so perfect.

he wants to go there, wants to run to you and hug you, wants to grip onto you and take back what he lost. but he of all people knows that’s impossible. so he stays in his driver’s seat, stays in his fantasies, stays away from you.

maybe he should just drive away. maybe he should stop pining for you. this is stupid.

especially stupid when he sees your future husband pull up and run up the sidewalk, runs into your arms, carries you and spins you around and presses a kiss onto your perfect nose.

sae can only vaguely make out what he’s saying.

“have a surprise for you at home, baby.”

and sae can’t tell what you said, but he can tell you love him by the slow, affectionate kiss you give him, the way you wrap your arms around his neck and laugh against each other’s lips.

“wait here for a bit, yeah?” reo tells you, and you nod, obedient.

it’s like a drug, now that he’s here, sae wants to stay and watch the show play out to the end. he watches as you store away your broom and mops and as reo walks back to his car—wait, no, fuck, he’s walking to sae’s car.

fuck fuck fuck.

reo makes sure you’re back in your bakery and out of view before he smiles at sae. “i’m very honoured that a world-class soccer player is stalking us,” reo beams at him the moment sae winds down his windows. “wanna go over there and talk to her?”

he definitely knows of your history with sae. it doesn’t bother him though, apparently. not if he’s offering sae the chance to talk to you, and alone, by the looks of it.

sae’s not really sure what he’s doing, taking reo up on his offer. he walks through the doors to your bakery and the shopkeeper’s bell rings, inciting you to spin around, expecting reo, but your eyes widen when you see sae there instead, sheepishly standing there, staring dumbly at you.

“sae,” you call his name, breathlessly. “w-what’re you doing here?”

“i… don’t know.”

he doesn’t. zero clue. fuck.

you’re not smiling, you’re apprehensive, you’re still in shock as to why itoshi sae didn’t contact you ever since you left him and why he chose now of all times to show up. there’s tears in the corners of your eyes and he knows you’re trying not to let them fall. the corners of your mouth try not to but they form a small frown.

“i just wanted to tell you…” sae trails off because he starts to remember everything.

he remembers five years old and you on the slides. he remembers your nii-chan and how he hated it. he remembers your smile and him being lovestruck and pathetic. he remembers making you happy and then making you sad, going from everything you loved to everything you grieved. he remembers all the signs he thought you didn’t give. he remembers your newly opened bakery and the heart on his first order chit. he remembers his now ex-girlfriend hating his guts and throwing your bread on the floor.

most of all, he remembers how happy you look with reo.

so sae swallows all the words he wanted to say and gives you a knowing smile. “just wanted to come by and wish you a happy marriage.”

i miss you. i still love you. i want you back. i want to be yours again. i promise i’ll love you properly this time.

he bites back all his words.

your expression turns soft and you smile at him for the first time in five years. “thanks, sae,” you tell him, holding your hand out.

sae shakes it, resisting his urge to pull you close.

“how are—”

“i have to go,” sae interjects, because he doesn’t think he can act any more normal than this. he wants to see more of you, but he forces himself to leave, and you understand anyway, you and your weak knees because as much as you’re over itoshi sae, your lover, you still miss itoshi sae, your best friend.

reo walks past him on the steps, noticing his rush. “hey, leaving already?”

sae doesn’t stop. “yeah.”

“look, y/n’s clueless but,” reo continues, raising his voice slightly as sae gets farther away. “thanks for all the support!”

sae stops short of his car, turning around to look at reo, who’s looking at you, cleaning up the last of your cash.

“what are you talking about?”

reo turns back to sae, hands in his pockets. “i wanted to thank mr rin hatoki personally so—” sae’s eyes grow wide at the mention of the name— “thank you.”

how does he even know?

“you know, she was so nervous when it first opened, thinking that nobody would buy anything,” reo tells him, and sae listens, swallowing the lump in his throat. “i wanted to be the first customer but apparently a mr rin hitoki beat me to it.”

reo sighs, noticing how sae’s eyes are now glued onto you.

“y/n’s the kindest person i’ve ever met,” reo continues, turning his back on sae. “if you want forgiveness, it’s always there for you.”

reo’s revelation and offer sticks with sae, but he shelves it in the corner of his mind. when he sees you, crescent eyes and all smiles, sae drives off.

it’s fine. knowing you’re happy is enough.

that’s a lie. it will never be enough for him, but he’ll just keep trying to convince himself. sae loves you, and he might just love you enough to let you go.

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saeist · 1 year

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you knew it yourself that things would be hard between you and sae before you entered this "relationship" with the soccer super star.

it was inevitable. he was always on the move. may it be his career, or his matches. he was always just right before your grasp.

you lay in bed with the person you call your "lover" you aren't even sure yourself if you can even call him that nor if he considers you the same

he broke the news that he was leaving again. you can't recall how many times it has already been like this. he was yours and only yours for a short while, and then he's not.

it's a viscous cycle that you have to go through. he was your solace, your safe haven, he was yours.

and you were his.

'you can't keep living like this' is a reoccurring thought to yourself. it was hard not to.

"i'm leaving tomorrow"

"i know"

"you know i can't help it, right?"

"i know"

"don't make this harder than it already is"

"i know sae, i know"

you can feel sae draw random shapes on your exposed arm with his fingertips. you can hear how loud his heart was beating. you can feel him tense up with just your touch

"i love you" you hear him murmur.

that was when you break

"you can't keep doing this to me, sae" your tone was ice cold. it scared sae. his grip on you tightens the moment you pull away from him.

"i do"

"you don't"

"i do." he was firm with his words. he uses his free hand to tip your chin towards him, forcing you to look at his teal colored eyes. the same eyes you know a little too well.

without another word, you crash your lips onto his. you kissed him with so much fervor that it took him a second to process what was going on.

to your surprise, he kissed back. with the same intensity as yours.

#WOAH THIS WAS SMTH.....#blue lock imagines #blue lock x reader #bllk imagines #bllk x reader #sae imagines #sae x reader #sae itoshi imagines #sae itoshi x reader #blue lock angst #bllk angst #sae angst #sae itoshi angst #is this even angst

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itoshiexx · 7 months

Text

scraps

synopsis: you give him all you have. it's time to collect the scraps before there is nothing left.

pairing: itoshi sae x gn!reader | words: 797 | warnings: established relationship, angst

notes: do u guys remember the sae drabble i told y'all about some time ago? well, my depressive ass decided to post it now. i'm sorry in advance.

masterlist

the silence is deafening. it lingers thick and heavy in the air, nearly making you choke on nothing — or perhaps you’re choking on all the things you want to say that are stuck in your throat. you can feel your whole body trembling as the anxiety creeps further in, and you wrap your arms around yourself to try and bring some comfort.

before, it was someone else’s arms that gave you peace, but lately, it has only been torment.

it is why you’re standing in the living room of your shared apartment, staring at the teal eyes of itoshi sae while trying to hold back your own tears. it hurts. it hurts to look at him and remember the way he used one of your weaknesses against you in the argument you had minutes before, as if stabbing a wound that didn’t quite close properly, tearing the skin at the seams and turning it into a bigger, uglier, messier scar.

you feel violated.

perhaps you should have known better. maybe, if you listened to your mother, you wouldn’t have shown so much of yourself to sae, basking in a vulnerability that could only come back to bite you in the end. you gave him all the tools to hurt you where it stings most, and there was no one to blame but yourself for that.

love made you foolish. you were tired.

“i don’t think i can do this anymore, sae.” your voice is meek and hollow. only a shell of the person you used to be — the one that bled through its heart until all the life was drained.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” he asks, brow arched. defensive. ready to hurt you some more in case he became slightly uncomfortable.

you breathe. in and out. in and out. rubbing your arm with your own hand, whispering to yourself under your breath that everything was going to be alright. even if it felt like nothing but that.

“you… you’re hurting me, sae,” you manage to say with the lump in your throat. “you have been for a while. and i try to be better, but i… i can’t do this alone. and you’re not even trying.”

the tears welled up in your lash line start to fall again, and at this point, you know it’s useless to try and stop them. you also know they are the only thing that keep you sane, even if it feels like you’re losing your mind at every breath you take.

sae doesn’t say anything, and you actually consider that a blessing. you don’t know how much more of his venomous words you can take before it destroys you completely from the inside out. something tells you his toxin has been spreading through your body for a while, although you only started to notice recently, when the fights got worse.

how long has he been killing you?

the weight of this question is enough to spike your anxiety once again, and you dig your nails on the skin of your arms to try to detain these overwhelming feelings, squeezing your eyes shut.

you nearly jump when you feel his strong arms circling your shoulders, bringing your head to his chest. you squirm and try to fight it — fight him —, but sae is stronger and more stubborn than you could ever be, and all you can do is cry harder and blow weak punches to his torso.

“i’m sorry,” he says. it’s not the first time. the words make your stupid heart flutter with hope, but the hurt brings you back to reality. it’s not the first time, and he has done nothing to change for the better. he never fucking listens.

“you’re so mean,” you cry, ceasing the punches due to your lack of strength. you can barely keep standing, and you’re sure that his hold is the only thing keeping you from falling. “why are you so mean to me, sae?”

he’s silent again. you keep going. “i gave you my everything. i loved you with all i had. i-i opened up to you like never before, and you… you just…”

your stomach sinks. there aren’t even words to express what you’re feeling nor what he’s doing to you — the many ways he has been destroying what you spent years trying to put back together.

you were tired.

in a final attempt to save what’s left of you, you raise your head from his chest to look deep into his aquamarine eyes. you want him to look at yours, too.

“sae,” your voice is nothing more than a hollow whisper. you take a deep breath, garning all the strength and courage you can.

and then, you plea for the last time:

“please, give back what’s left of my heart.”

#bllk imagines #bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #blue lock #blue lock fanfiction #blue lock drabbles #blue lock x y/n #blue lock x you #itoshi sae #sae itoshi #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae x y/n #itoshi sae x you #sae itoshi x you #sae itoshi x y/n #sae itoshi x reader #sae imagines #bllk angst #sae angst

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sseatherny · 8 months

Text

I THINK HE KNOWS

itoshi sae x fem! reader :: bllk socmed au

SUMMARY. After being assigned the task of finding a model for a project, you, a student photographer, have to face the challenging task of approaching and persuading Itoshi Sae, whom you have a crush on, to be your model. Working with Sae is a huge opportunity to add a renowned name to your portfolio. The pressure and responsibility are real, but so is the chance to achieve something great.

TAGS. fluff, crack, slight angst

STATUS. ongoing

PROFILES

shidou's cooking show :: seggsy people and bachira

୧ 📷 ୨

01 – bad day

02 – interested?

03 – curious

04 – fools are really fun to watch

05 – I'll be in your care

06 – pinned

07 – ghost

08 – it's time

🏷️ TAGLIST. open!

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rewh0re · 1 year

Text

2:55 AM

Ft. Itoshi Sae

Got this idea and i just had to write it because why not. Anyways. Reblogs + feedbacks are highly appreciated!!

It's late. It's way past midnight and you both should be sleeping instead of sitting on the sofa with your heads in your hands trying to figure out how to get out of the problem at hand. You tried your best to sleep but the persistent buzzing of your phone due to the incoming notifications left you sleepless.

"I thought we were careful enough," you took your phone in your hand, opening Instagram only to be spammed by notifications that said you were tagged in several photos and comments by random accounts. There were also thousands of follow requests from said accounts.

"We were careful. They just get their way every single time," Sae had talked to his manager a few hours ago about how a picture of the both of you had taken the internet by storm.

You were out for a date with Sae after his recent victory. The picture was taken after the date when Sae had kissed you under the street light beside an empty park or at least what you thought was an empty park. When you first saw the picture trending, the fans did not yet know who you were, you were still an unknown person who seemed to be Sae's significant other. Within a few hours however, they had found out your name and your account and since then you were on the receiving side of several hate comments and a few supportive ones.

'Sae can do better.'

'They aren't all that.'

'ugh Sae, leave them and date me.'

And other such comments were plaguing the picture. You got several such DMs too that honestly made you feel a bit down and you weren't feeling your best after seeing these.

But along with these there were also a few supportive comments that asked the people to leave you both alone and show you some respect and that it was Sae's choice who he dated and if he was happy it was enough. These comments made you smile. People could be bitter as well as sweet, you concluded.

"What's wrong with the people commenting all of this bullshit? Don't they have anything better to do in life?" Sae's eyes narrowed as he scanned through the various comments and captions.

"This was bound to be the result once our relationship was made public. I'm not complaining, some people can be weird about their idols getting into a relationship," you sighed as you silenced your phone and kept it on the coffee table. This was definitely not good for your mental health as you already thought about Sae finding someone better, probably some pretty fan of his. These thoughts plagued you at night.

"Don't you dare think about me leaving you or something. Don't you let these petty jobless people make you think that you're anything less than perfect for me," Sae held your hand as he seemed to catch on your troubling thoughts. He somehow always knew what was going on with you. Somehow he could read you like an open book. His eyes told you how much he loved you and how important your presence was in his life.

"I'll try Sae. That's the only thing I can do right now. Anyways, these will die down with time. We should sleep now. It's late," you kissed his cheek as you got up from the sofa and headed towards your bedroom.

You stopped midway through, as you noticed your boyfriend was not following you. Instead, he was still on the sofa and it looked like he was deep in his thoughts.

"Aren't you coming? Let them be, as I said it'll die down--"

"I'm gonna make it public first thing in the morning," he turned around to look at you, a serious look in his eyes.

"Sae..people already know, there's no need to--"

"No no, I'm gonna confirm it in the morning. It's been long enough. I'm not doing this for the media either, I'm doing this because I cannot keep loving you in private any longer. I'm tired of always being so on guard with you when we go out," he interrupted you yet again as he closed the distance between you both, now standing in front of you with your face in his hands.

"Sae.." you started but you honestly did not know what to say.

"Are you okay with that?" He looked deep into your eyes as if he was searching for your answer in them.

"Okay," you let out a little laughter as you pecked his lips and broke away from him. "But for now, please, please come to bed."

And true to his words, the next morning you were tagged on Sae's official Instagram post which was a picture of you kissing his cheek as a small, barely there smile was plastered on Sae's face. You smiled a little at the post, not caring about the incessant buzzing of your phone.

'I love you a bit too much' read the caption.

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yooils · 1 year

Text

RUIN MY PLANS ! sae itoshi x manager! reader. fluff.

☆彡– really, he should have known better than to let someone in so easily– now you've ruined his plans and stained your muddy footprints all over his heart.

part two is out now!

even in the beginning, it was always just sae and soccer.

(wrong. there was also rin– who used to idolized him as one would a celebrity, and his supportive parents– who sent him snacks and supportive notes when he was abroad.)

nevertheless, there really was no one in the small world of sae itoshi; hidden beneath the bitter guise of frigid thunder and even icier storms– until you first came in as his own brand new manager, (slightly naive) smile differing strikingly from his indifferent countenance.

you've unsolicitedly trampled all over his once-tranquil paradise over the years, sae thinks, because now he can't imagine a future without you– it makes his skin crawl and it feels sickening. how mediocre of him.

and just as sae starts to slowly accept the unfamiliar whirlwind of emotions in his life after denying his feelings for so long, his fragile world collapses again.

"i'm going to resign soon."

oh.

sae's heart sinks to his stomach. he feels like his whole world is falling apart– just like in the movies– and he's infuriated. resentment always came easily to sae, after all; but the fact that it's you makes his stomach churn.

(you, who unexpectedly won a place in his life with your lukewarm anecdotes, stupid laughter and reckless work habits. really, he should have known better than to let someone in so easily– now you've ruined his plans and stained your muddy footprints all over his heart.)

the soft music thrumming through the speakers of an expensive restaurant fuels his rage even more, and you're still sitting there nonchalantly– calm and composed, expression showing no signs of discomfort nor awkwardness.

and it really pisses him off.

he's treated you so well over the years too; trying to be on his best behaviour on his interviews with the press (read: not walking off); listening half-heartedly to your ramblings on how to increase his popularity (though he couldn't care less); and even going so far as to mind his language sometimes.

upon further reflection, maybe he really was the jerk here.

but in contrast to his internal turmoil, sae's demeanour remains tepid save for the slight furrow of his eyebrows. "huh? what's wrong with you?"

it comes out a lot harsher than intended.

you've known sae long enough to read his minuscule body language, and that the slight wince at his own words mean that he's a little apologetic– not that his ego would have ever allowed him to admit it. (if anything, it makes you realise that you've stayed in this job too long for your liking.)

–it's absolutely unhealthy to be around him for so long, you affirm to yourself. that's why you're resigning after six gruelling years.

the way you shift in your chair almost makes him worry.

"it's nothing big, i just want to start a normal life." you respond, albeit tentatively. "maybe cut off travelling around for a bit, have a less stressful job, get a partner–"

he scoffs at that. (it's not due to jealousy, definitely.) "you could do that even while being a manager; it's just a little busier than a normal life. plus, it's not too stressful, is it?"

you work more than 17 hours on busy days– even answering his spur of the moment midnight calls. as much as an eye candy as sae is, you don't think your heart can handle him much longer despite how unaffected you look.

(little did you know, he would've long cut back on the immense workload if you had so much as mentioned it– he would have gone beyond limits to keep you by his side, because you're the only constant in his world of football. and he likes that.)

"i suppose so– i guess settling back into Japan might make dating a lot easier, as well as stop my parent's nagging." you sigh. "they're constantly pestering me on when i'll get married."

sae's had his share of flings in europe before– so he has no idea why his heart races so fast at the mere thought of a reckless idea.

"so date me."

you choke. his face stays stoic, utterly contradicting to the way he swallows thickly– he really is a mess. now he's ruined every single healthy relationship he's ever had in his life.

and never in your life did you think you would get to hear sae itoshi ask you out, even if it was just for his own benefit. "it won't hinder with your work, and it'll be easy to convince your parents, won't it?"

you hate how persuasive he is.

(that night, you end up making a decision that might just cost you more than your sappy feelings.)

1.8.23

#log– works #he would be a caring bf :(#and then he realises that he likes u too much #and dumps you #blue lock #blue lock fluff #bllk fluff #sae itoshi #sae itoshi x reader #sae fluff #sae angst #sae itoshi fluff #sae itoshi angst #blue lock sae #sae x gn! reader

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chigirizzz · 10 months

Text

ONE STEP FORWARD, TWO STEPS BACK — I. SAE

warnings/tags: angst, hurt/a little bit of comfort, gn! reader, descriptions of physical symptoms of anxiety, ooc sae??, not proofread

summary: love is confusing. a part of you knows sae loved you; another part of you makes you question that. if both parts can't coexist, was your relationship worth fighting for?

wc: 2.3k

notes: this one was difficult to write man. i literally rewrote almost every paragraph dozens of times until i thought this entire thing was worth of being posted. while writing this i was literally biting my own fist out of frustration lmao.

»»——⍟——««

being a professional football player for sure brings a lot of things in your life: fame, money, awards, fans, haters, sponsors, you name it. but one thing that no one ever seems to talk about is the painful feeling inside someone’s entire body when under the extreme pressure—the shortness of breath, the rapid beating of the heart, the big knot on the throat, the tightening of the stomach, the burning sensation in the eyes due to increased blood circulation, and so on.

sae was used to those feelings. it was part of his life as an athlete—it was part of his life ever since he was a young boy, like when he had to get ready to leave his home country to live in another one, practically alone, without his family. for days, young itoshi sae felt in panic, nauseous and was disturbed by severe headaches.

it’s funny how emotions can make you physically sick, right?

of course, anyone can feel like this—it's completely normal and it’s what makes us humans. for a singer, those symptoms of sickness might happen mostly on the stage; for a baker, those nerves might happen mostly when getting ready the perfect wedding cake; for a writer, that anxiety might happen mostly when publishing a book, afraid of what people will think of it and if it will sell well.

for football players, those sensations are, most of the time, absorbed by their bodies and minds the moment they step on the field.

sae falls into this category.

then, at the end of the day, people can still live through situations that make them feel anxious outside of their professions—perhaps they have to get ready for a date; perhaps they got lost and can't find the right path to go home.

sae does not fall into this category. he is a rational man who avoids people and feelings not related to his career. he always knows what to do and what not to do.

but today, today is different. today sae itoshi is in the second category, and he might be stuck in there for a while, who knows.

sitting on the edge of the bed you both share, he inhales deeply as his hands make their way to grab said edges. the soft material of the bedspread under his fingers helped him cool down a little bit. so soft ♡. he exhaled after holding his breath for a few seconds.

he could hear your sobs.

you were sitting on the comfy sofa placed in the small, elegant balcony connected to your shared bedroom. although the curtains were blocking the outside view, the chilly, cold wind of the night would constantly move the brownish pink curtains to give the man the perfect—and heartbroken—sight of your figure in a curled up position, crying, with no sign of stopping so soon.

(brownish pink curtains… you wanted to buy those because it reminded you of sae's hair. of your boyfriend's hair. he could still hear your laugh when you suggested buying those.)

you too were in a psychological and physical distress; you too were in the second category—the difference, however, was that you have been in that same category for a while; meanwhile sae has only entered it today.

sae didn’t like the feeling of his sunken heart, of the big knot on his throat and of the tightening of his stomach’s walls when looking at you so miserable like that. and the worst part? he was the reason you were in that state.

in case you didn't understand yet, my dear reader, itoshi sae broke your heart once again and now your relationship is at a great risk of ending. by saying that sae has officially entered the "second category", we get the idea that said man is now anxious, scared, and physically sick with the thought of losing you—the anxiety that he only felt on the field and never in his personal life? he's feeling it right now.

and it’s only now that he understands how much he disappointed you ever since you two started dating. he remembers it all now: how he didn’t show any interest in your thoughts and hobbies (which is not true, he was just devoid of emotions but it still hurt you), how cold his responses could get, how he never denied that his career was the number one priority, the dry messages he sent you when you were excited, how mean he could be to other people even if you’d tell him how much you hated that attitude of his, how he would just gave you a gift after a fight instead of properly apologizing, how he stood up on you several times on a restaurant, all ready for him to arrive for your date, only to not appear because he preferred to stay late at practice and ended up forgetting the plans you both made…

the true—although not surprising at all—is, the oldest itoshi wasn’t good with feelings; he knew what to do and what not to do during matches, but when it came to human beings, he didn’t have an idea of what he should do or what to say—and let’s be honest, he didn't care about it either. sae did love you, though. the way he looks at you proves it; the marks he would leave on your body during nights so full of lust and romance that would be capable of shedding emotional tears from aphrodite’s eyes proved it; the way he'd roll his eyes and proceed to place soft kisses on your fingers when you complained of the water being too hot after finishing washing the dishes proved it.

the engagement ring he bought for you that is hidden in a safe place where you couldn’t find it proved it.

and now there might not be a day where he could put the ring around your finger and watch you giggle like a teenager in love.

his heart weighs heavier now, almost like it’s getting ready to be swallowed by the black hole formed on his stomach. fuck. he passes his hand through his reddish brown hair, tugging a few strands.

he got out of the bed and made his way to the door of the small balcony. there you were, still in a curled up position. your sobs have stopped already but a sniff or two could be heard.

“talk to me.” the genius didn’t know exactly what his tone was. tiredness? begging? regret? i-don’t-care-at-all-stop-acting-like-this? this man sure was confusing. there was no response, the only thing that could be heard were the sounds of the leaves of the trees moving with the wind, almost mocking, not sae, but you.

the way you rolled your eyes was unknown to him.

“seriously, y/n. head inside so we can talk—”

“fuck you, itoshi, leave me alone.” your intention wasn’t to be mean to him, you didn't think before speaking—it hurt both you and him—, but sometimes harsh words were better in specific times. this is a specific time, you should have shared your thoughts a long time ago. “you wanna talk now? you usually just buy me roses without saying anything.”

“i’m trying to fix things up.”

you turned your head to look at him, a sad smile on your lips. “and i appreciate it, really, but i’m just so fucking tired, sae.” your voice broke on the word “tired”. “and you just want to talk now because i said i was thinking of breaking up with you during our fight earlier? why, sae, why…” more tears were threatening to fall, voice still breaking.

teal colored eyes darkened. you were now looking at the view in front of you. you guys lived in a really peaceful neighborhood with big, expensive houses. the view was nothing special (a few trees, a few parked cars, a park near you), but it wasn't bad either. it's not like the view mattered as long as you lived with the love of your life.

even if said love of your life could sometimes be difficult to put up with.

you remember when you started dating him and met his younger brother, who had the audacity to say with a serious face that you would regret dating your boyfriend. although you now understand the point rin was trying to make, you didn't regret being with sae; you didn't regret anything at all. and if you were to be honest, you wanted to ignore the fight and just spend the night watching a movie or something, but you had to act like a mature adult and find a better solution.

were you, though, being a mature adult by giving that response to sae when he said he wanted to talk? you were genuinely confused.

sighting and while wiping your tears, you patted the uncopied place of the sofa beside you. "ok, let's talk. sit." the man did what you told and you moved away a few centimeters to give him more space. it was… silence. a mix of comfortable and uncomfortable silence.

without looking at you, sae rested his hand on top of yours, causing you to flinch a little by surprise, but paid no mind and let him interlock his fingers with yours, your thumb now caressing his pinky finger.

"what… what do you want to say?"

"were you telling the truth earlier?"

"about me breaking up with you?" a "mhm" was his answer. "yes, i was ." by the corner of your eye you noticed he stared at you after those words. your mind couldn't decipher what his thoughts were. "i don't like being stood up on a date two times in the same month, y'know?"

the man sighted. "i was busy with practice. and i literally warned you at a good time, you just got to the place too early."

you let out a chuckle in an ironic way. "you did warn me, yes, and i wouldn't mind if it was once or twice, but enough is enough, itoshi." it was the second time of the night—scratch that, it was the second time in your entire life that you called him by his surname. even when you were only friends, you would call him by his first name or by cute, silly nicknames. the second time the word itoshi came out of your mouth, it was full of venom; venom that seemed to wrap so tightly around his heart. "i know your career is extremely important to you. i understand that and i want to support you in any way, shape and form, however, things can't keep going like this."

"i see." the reddish brown haired man looked at both your hands still together. you didn't let go of him, you didn't want to and he didn't want it either. “i understand.”

he should say something more. something more profound, more romantic, capable of making you stay, but what can the prodigy do about it? sure, he'd be lying if he said he didn't want you to stay with him, but the decision was yours and he had to take it, whether he liked it or not; whether it’d left him heartbroken or not. besides, he now understands just how much he confused you with his true feelings. you both were tired of the constant kiss and make up.

just how sae could be an egoistic on the field, he could be also one on his private life (just ask literally anybody and they will confirm).

you let go of his fingers to turn your arm so that your palm was facing upwards, in contact with his, and you interlock your fingers again. “it’s not easy for me but… i feel like it’s the best choice.”

you spent a few seconds looking into each other's eyes, until sae leaned his forehead against yours and you did the same, with your eyes closed and enjoying the cold night breeze hitting your bodies, the breeze contrasting with the bittersweet heat formed in your hearts.

“so… is it decided…”

“yes… it is.” you were glad that he respected your decision and that you discussed the matter without further discussion. “i’ll still pack my things today. in the morning i’ll call a friend and ask them to stay at their house for a few days. then i’ll see how it goes.”

“hm.”

he offered to help you pack your bags, but you refused—him helping you would only make you more emotional and rethink your decision. that night, you and your now ex-boyfriend slept on the same bed, back to back.

»»——⍟——««

"hey,” it was now the next morning and you had just gotten ready to leave the house. sae called you before you had a chance to get out the door. “do not hesitate to call me if you need anything.”

a smile formed on your lips. now that you were changing your path in life, it seemed that you just lost a heavy weight on your shoulders. sae didn't like that, but again, he was in no position to make you stay. “ thank you sae, really. the same goes for you, though. and don’t overwork yourself.”

those words and the little chuckle that followed hurt sae like a bitch. you always told him to not work himself till exhaustion, yet he always ignored you…

“well… goodbye, itoshi.” before he’d answer, you stepped out of the door, closing it behind you.

as the sound of the engine of your friend’s car starting up reached his ears, he made his way to the bedroom, to reach out for the engagement ring he bought for you. he layed on the bed, hugging the tiny ring’s box, hot tears running silently down his cheeks to the pillow.

you were gone. you were officially gone.

»»——⍟——««

tagging: @izzylovestnbhd

thank you for reading. likes, reblogs and coments are appreciated ♡

#blue lock #blue lock x reader #bllk #bllk x reader #blue lock angst #bllk angst #sae x reader #sae itoshi x reader #itoshi sae x reader #sae angst #blue lock x you

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okkotsuus · 1 year

Text

the boy you loved (sae i.) !

features: sae i.

contents: angst. hurt no comfort. mild swearing. toxic realtionship. nostalgia. reader flinches. door slam. breakup. it hurts sorry lol. 1.8k words.

to the world, sae itoshi was a catch. he is a pro athlete, beautiful, and rich, everything someone could ever want in a partner. sae itoshi is at the pinnacle of his sport at the age of eighteen years old. he was at the forefront of it for longer.

fame has changed sae itoshi.

you knew sae itoshi before the world did. you knew him before the flashing cameras and cheering crowds, back when he couldn’t even kick a soccer ball without falling flat on his ass. sae itoshi was awkward, dorky, and kind. sae itoshi was the boy you loved.

it all began to change when he slowly climbed the ranks of soccer. his goofy grins became more mellowed, shyness turning to aversion. but most of all, he was no longer kind. sae itoshi was no longer the sweet boy who would hold your hand as you walked to school. sae itoshi was no longer to considerate boy that made sure to have your favorite snacks at his home. sae itoshi was no longer the tender-hearted boy who you fell in love with.

sae itoshi is now a man who’s as foreign to you as a stranger.

yet, for some reason, you can’t seem to let him slip through your fingers. nor can he let you slip from his. in a never ending cycle one always ends up crawling back to the other. like some twisted kind of soulmates you can never escape each other.

you loved sae itoshi the boy, but sae itoshi the man is a whole other story.

loving the man, sae itoshi, is many things, but it is not easy.

loving sae itoshi is tiring.

sitting up on the couch of his apartment for the nth night in a row, waiting and watching the door like a dog for him to come home.

sae was incredibly dedicated to his sport, staying till the sun died. he just wanted one thing when he came home: to see you. the first thing he wanted to see when he got home was you. the notion had your head spinning and heart pounding when he so boldly proclaimed it.

but now, when you sit on the couch like a wilted flower, you begin to question just how flattering it was. your eyes ached from keeping them open for so long, the soft glow of the lamps beginning to slowly drive you insane.

this empty apartment is exhausting. but you couldn’t blame him. his schedule is bound to be busy, he is a professional athlete, after all.

the lock clicks as your head raises from the phone in your hands. he walks in and looks at you, before immediately walking away. your heart cracks a little more every time this happens.

he is a ritualistic man, it seemed saying “hi” or “missed ya” would throw it off too much.

so, you stand and walk to the bedroom, tucking yourself under the covers while the gentle flow of the shower lulls you to sleep.

you feel the bed slightly dip sometime later into the night, but the wave of sleep sweeps you back under the surface immediately after. what you do not feel: is warmth or an arm around you.

loving sae itoshi is stressful.

sae leaves for long periods of time consistently. you accept that he cannot always be home, but you ask that he at least texts you moderately.

sae has a habit of ghosting people when he’s away, then just coming back like he’s greater than thou. not like it’s the first time it’s happening.

he’s been gone for two weeks now and hasn’t said a single thing to you. no texts, no calls, nothing. you were worried. you trusted him, it’s not that. he’s just so far away, what if something happened and the last thing he said to you was “bye,” when he left the home for the airport two weeks ago.

you don’t want to think like this, but this new sae was brash in a way that would get him hurt one day. he spoke his mind with no sense of self-preservation, he had no idea of customs in other countries, and he wouldn’t take one damn minute to text you a single word.

so you call rin, asking him with a quiver in your voice if he’s heard from sae. he hasn’t. but can’t help the choked whine that slams in your chest, quickly thanking him and hanging up. your eyes begin to well tears as you pace the empty apartment that seems a lot more foreboding than exhausting now.

crystalline drops run over your face as you desperately try to calm yourself, you were being dramatic. sae always was there to hold you when you cried as a kid, but now you were crying alone because of that same sweet boy.

you fall asleep on the couch that night, not able to bear the vast emptiness of the bed that was meant to be shared.

loving sae itoshi is slamming doors.

sae was back soon enough, walking into the apartment as if nothing had happened. he watched as you remained seated, not rising to excitedly greet him like your normally would. his brow furrowed as he left it, leaving you on the couch again when he returned home to unpack.

sae itoshi would rather let a problem steep and fester than deal with it directly. the boy you loved would stutter out of concernwith the most adorable flush on his rounded cheeks. but this man was a shell of the boy who loved you, the boy who still holds your one and only heart.

“what’s up with you?” his words come out abrasive as he stands in the bedroom doorway, one hand idly towel-drying his hair while the other was poised against his hip. he had a way of making it feel like you were the problem.

“what’s up with me?! sae you ghosted me for nearly three weeks, do you know how worried i was?” your own voice punches out of your chest before you can bite your tongue to hold back the words. watching as his eyes widen and he gets that haughty look on his face, you hated that look, that sneer.

he spoke with a venom, green eyes drilling into your form. “i’m a grown man, you don’t need to fuss over me. get over it, we’re not snot-nosed brats anymore, y/n.” you felt yourself flinch back as he ended his sentence with a punctuated scoff. he turned and shut the door a little louder than needed, you flinched back as it slammed: slightly shaking on its hinges.

now that he was gone, the tears flowed free again. you really were still a snot-nosed brat, weren’t you? the thought was mocking as the vast apartment began to feel more and more like a cage.

you fell asleep on the couch with dried rivers of tears shed staining your cheeks, nose rubbed raw from incessantly wiping it on your sleeve.

loving sae itoshi is nostalgic.

sae isn’t all bad nowadays. sometimes you could see the sweet boy that put bandaids on your scraped knees peek through.

in the light of the early morning, his eyes are bright and the soft glow makes his face feel more soft. it reminds you of waking up from sleepovers at the itoshi house, sae’s sleepy face and his messy bed hair.

when he plays football you are reminded of the boy who couldn’t shoot without falling flat on his face. you remember kissing the tip of his reddened nose while wiping the tears that threaten to escape from the corners of his sea-glassy eyes.

when he’s eating his dinner, you see the boy who stuffed his face with puffy cheeks. you see the boy who shoveled food into his mouth after practice, insisting that he needed to grow.

sae itoshi was still the boy you fell in love with, he was just a little lost.

times like this forced you to acknowledge that it was not actually his past self shining through. rather, it was you so desperately looking for any semblance of a shred of the boy who you once loved.

sae itoshi is no longer the boy you fell in love with, that boy died when he went to spain.

loving sae itoshi is hard.

this decision wasn’t easy. everytime the thought even crossed your mind you felt your eyes sting and your nose run hot.

but the truth was inevitable and unforgiving. passing moments of joy could no longer help alleviate the aching pain that echoed in the deepest expanses of your soul.

sae itoshi was no longer the boy who you fell in love with, it was the inevitable truth.

you didn’t believe that sae loved you any longer, rather coexisting with you as stability.

you don’t ever want to be a roommate to your partner.

you needed to break up with sae itoshi, to let go of the boy who was so long gone.

for once in your life, the apartment did not feel so bad. it felt like being in your childhood home for the last time before going off to college.

sae was off today, you planned it so he would be, not wanting to spring it one him before or after practice.

“sae, we need to talk."

sae knew he had messed up when he heard those words come from your mouth. but the safety net of your unconditional love had spoiled him. so he did not expect for you to leave.

when you said you were leaving, it began to wear. but it was still there, so he expected that you would be coming back soon.

when weeks turned to months with nothing but occasional passing conversations, he began to sweat.

sae itoshi, the ultimate catch, had just lost the love of his life.

the net snapped as he was left falling, plunging into an endless regret. sae itoshi was reminded of every single time he had given you the cold shoulder. every single time he was ruder than necessary. every single time he had forgotten he loved you.

sae itoshi knew he was no longer the boy you loved. but you are still the kid that he fell in love with, the only one who captured his heart.

and he pushed you away.

and damn, it hurt like hell when his apartment began to feel eerily empty without you, a bed meant to be shared becoming cold without another body in it.

sae itoshi realized how you had felt the entire time.

okkotsuus 23

#bllk #bllk x reader #blue lock #blue lock x reader #sae itoshi #sae itoshi x reader #sae #sae x reader #bllk sae #blue lock sae #bllk angst #blue lock angst #sae angst #sae itoshi angst

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tim-shii · 1 month

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tiktok trends with bf!sae

a/n: my man MY MAN RRAAAAHHHH i need him in my life it is crazy INSANE that hes not real and hes not in my arms rn (p.s sae is taller in this ,, it doesnt specify how tall but just tall enough that he has to lean down for a kiss ty)

it’s a rare occasion that your boyfriend agrees to go along with your antics. a prank, a trend or just him being in the frame. however, sae can’t seem to ever say no when you ask him nicely to do a tiktok with you. he has one condition though: he will never ever do a dance.

" THINK I LIKE YOU BEST WHEN YOU'RE JUST WITH ME "

the green in his eye looks so pretty. it goes perfectly well with the brightness in yours. sae looks straight in the camera as you instructed. yet there’s an itch in his system telling him to look in your direction instead. his pupils are dilating, he knows. and he knows that you notice it too, the growing blush on your face an indication of you acknowledging his obvious adoration. a few seconds before the audio ends, sae turns his head slightly to kiss your cheek. resulting to you dropping the phone. failed ending, yes, your followers found it cute though.

" STAY WITH ME, I DON'T WANT YOU TO LEAVE "

now, this. sae agrees to do this trend with you the moment you showed him the video. why would he refuse? he gets you kissing all over his face. that’s practically heaven to him. the marks are just freebies. after leaving a decent amount of lipstick stains on his face (sae thinks you should’ve left more), you pushed him out of frame and hit the record button. he waits until you purposely smudge the rouge past your lips, his thumb smoothly wiping it away. his periphery catches you sliding the phone to show him in the frame. his eyes are locked on your tinted lips before going back up to lock gazes with you. his hand slips to the back of your neck, pulling you closer yet pushing you back simultaneously away from the frame, and his lips meet yours. your lips transferring color to his already rosy ones.

" YOU BETTER LOCK YOUR PHONE "

from what he saw, you either stand there looking pretty or twirl around. either way, all he has to do is walk over, hook an arm around your waist and walk away (in a cool manner). it’s going well a few seconds in. you stand in front of your phone, showing your outfit. he starts sauntering the first time you turn your head to him. the second time you do it, he’s left stunned when you swiftly ran to the other direction. he follows after you, his longer limbs allowing him to catch up to you within seconds. sae throws you over his shoulder and carries you back to where you left your phone, that was still recording. the video ends with him dropping you to your feet and pinching your cheek.

" I'D NEVER FIND SOMEONE LIKE YOU "

this trend is somewhat similar to the other one. it starts with him off the frame and ends together with you. he can only hope you don’t rush out this time. if sae was being honest, the song used is definitely one of his favorites. not his go-to genre to listen to, yes, but he truly does believe you’re out of his league sometimes. he bumps into you at the beat, wide shoulders colliding with yours. he makes sure there’s no aggression behind it, sae doesn’t want you hurt over a video. when you turn back, he’s blessed with a smiling face. your arms wrap around his waist, chin on his chest. sae finds it easier to lean down and capture your lips this way. there’s a warm hand holding the back of your head and the other found its home on your hip. when he pulls away, his eyes drift past you and he’s reminded of the device diarizing this very moment.

likes and reblogs are appreciated! masterlist

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saerins · 5 months

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°୨୧ MORAL OF THE STORY

+ sae x f!reader | wc 2k | content: both of them are just kinda selfish in their own ways, angst, mentions of alcohol

notes: haha hi guys …. i’m totally not in love with sae . totallyyyyyy … ( kidding i need help sos ) (∘⁼̴⃙̀˘︷˘⁼̴⃙́∘)

summary: you and sae have been in love with each other since high school. during your special day, he throws you a curveball.

everything’s in full swing.

dinner is ongoing, the meat station being particularly popular, as you expected. all your old friends from different schools are mingling along so well, just like you imagined they would. everyone’s excited for the big day tomorrow, and so are you.

as you watch everything unfolding from the balcony, you can’t help but smile. one step closer to tomorrow, one step closer to forever.

unlike everyone else, you abstain from drinking yourself silly. they can afford to be hungover tomorrow, but not you. won’t be good to see the bride throw up all over her wedding dress.

“you look pretty like this.”

turning around at the man who has your full attention, you smirk. “just like this, itoshi sae?”

there’s a pink flush on his cheeks and you have a hard time gathering whether it’s from your words or the liquor. sae’s only a little tipsy—not enough to consider him drunk. but he chuckles though, and it has your heart beating faster; he still has the same hold over you like he did way back then.

nothing much has changed since you first knew him. he’d always been special to you, and you, to him.

“all the time,” he corrects himself, both elbows leaning on the railing, looking at the sea view before the two of you.

giggling, you mirror his position, bare arm brushing the sleeves of his expensive suit. “i’m sure you know i feel the same,” you tease him back.

sae laughs a little harder, and it’s refreshing to see his usual stoic expression turn soft. “of course i know,” he says before turning to look you in the eyes, those teal tones forever magic when they stare at you. “i’ve known since you started having that crush on me back in high school.”

you groan, covering your face. “see, i knew you’d bring that up!” you complain, embarrassed. it’s kind of humiliating whenever he brings that up—it’s his worst blackmail material. “shush—i don’t want anyone to know. no mentioning it in any toasts or anything, okay?” your cheeks are heating up by now, and you have to pout.

the man beside you only continues laughing, both of you enjoying just existing in the moment, and even though he doesn’t say anything, you know he won’t say shit about that. because he always listens to you.

everyone else is still inside, preoccupied by the games hosted by the emcee.

“hey, y/n?” sae speaks up as your laughter drowns out.

you turn to him, narrowing your gaze and smiling, wondering what to expect from him—as you always are, because sae’s good at surprising you and you love that. “yes, mr itoshi sae?”

there’s a small pause as he swallows the lump in his throat, his eyes still gazing at you, from your hair to your nose to your chin and back at your eyes. “i’m in love with you.”

at that moment, time stands still and there’s a ringing drowning your ears, a silence swallowing you whole. it has you doubting whether it’s really him in front of you, saying the words you’d always wanted to hear from him.

“what—”

“i love you, y/n.”

and by all means, it should’ve been a happy occasion. you’ve dreamt of this moment happening over and over and over again. back then, you envisioned something different.

you and sae, twenty-three, finding out where your life paths are going, converging together and deciding to fuck what everyone thinks and go for it anyway. you and sae, twenty-four and making it past the one-year mark and defying everyone else’s expectations (including your own). twenty-five and thinking why neither of you thought to try sooner. twenty-six and knowing you’re set for the rest of your life.

that’s how it was supposed to be.

but at eighteen, sae had left without a word after your confession, a selfish choice. at nineteen, your friendship was reduced to one-sided texts while sae was off trying to piece his future. at twenty, you’d given up and let sae turn his full attention to soccer, while you’d hold no grudges and finish your studies. by twenty-two, you’d met someone who always put you first, someone who always knew what to do to make you feel better. someone who’s good for you.

“what are you doing, sae?” you ask him, nostrils flared from all the emotions threatening to spill out of you. it was easy to convince yourself that you no longer felt anything for him when he wasn’t here to tempt you, wasn’t here to taunt you for giving up. but since he’s been back for the past year, it proves to be difficult to suppress all the old feelings you’d tucked away.

sae takes his time to answer, because he doesn’t know either. he doesn’t fucking know why he’s only telling you this now, when he’s felt this way since you were both sixteen. when you’re both ten years older and living very different lives. when you’re about to marry someone else that isn’t him and it’s driving him crazy.

“i don’t know,” he answers honestly, suddenly realising the gravity of what he did and looking away ashamed. “i just… i love you. ever since we were younger, i- i’ve always felt the same.”

he did, and he still loves you. he was stupid when he was younger. he left and made stupid decisions like not even trying to talk to you because he didn’t know what the fuck he should do and now no excuse would be good enough to convince you to choose him. there’s no reason for you to. you’re about to marry someone who’s so obviously in love with you. someone who shows you off everywhere, someone who treats you the way sae wish he did since all those years ago.

what is he even doing? he doesn’t even know.

whenever he thought about how you’d react if he ever told you those words, he didn’t think you’d be like this; silent, tears flowing out your eyes, the cold creeping up your cheeks and bare arms and making you shiver.

“i wish…” you pause, looking him in the eyes. “i wish you’d said that before it was too late.”

he’d seen that coming. of course there wouldn’t be anything different to this story, not even with his confession. except, maybe, the nostalgia of getting a chance to say everything he never did, to the girl who always deserved it the most.

despite every single part of him that is screaming at him that whatever he’s thinking about is wrong, that people shouldn’t do this to the bride the night before the wedding, that little volume of alcohol inside him provides all the rush he needs. a swift sweep of the surrounding scenery is all he needs to know nobody’s watching, and before either of you really know it, sae’s lips are on yours and you’re so conflicted it’s criminal.

of course, you’re the one who pulls away—but there’s never disdain in your eyes when you look at him. a mercy he shouldn’t be able to afford but he does, only because you’re a saint compared to him.

it’s selfish; he’d always loved you, always wanted you, always never knew what to do with himself but now he’s dragged you down this rabbit hole and the aftermath isn’t particularly sweet. you’re sweet, though, the taste of cake that lingered on your tongue.

“i’m sorry,” he settles for, and the perplexed expression behind your eyes just serve to make him hate himself for this. he should.

you clear your throat, sniffling down your emotions before straightening yourself up and offering him a smile—one laced with ten years of melancholy and a lifetime of sae’s regrets.

“i’m sorry too,” you tell him, and part of you doesn’t know what you’re apologising for. is it because he realised his feelings too late and doesn’t stand a chance right now? is it because you’re consoling him for his loss? or is it because you’re thinking that if he had done this even just a few weeks earlier, maybe you would’ve changed your mind? that’s something to be sorry to your fiancé at the time for, right?

there’s a dull ache in your heart that’ll be hard to extinguish. it’s a sorry state to be in especially when tomorrow should be one of the biggest days of your life, but you’ll manage, just like you always have. the little girl inside of you is happy, even if just a little, even if this situation is a little questionable. but the boy she’s loved her whole life finally has the guts to say that he feels the same way.

all too little too late; now he’s just the lingering feelings of what should’ve been that you need to say goodbye to no matter how much your selfishness never wants to let go.

taking a step back, you purse your lips into a thin smile and reach your hand out. sae shakes it, the sad deformation of your friendship turning into plain formalities. “thank you,” you say, trying your best not to let any more of the pain show, “for everything.”

for being the first person you ever really considered a friend. for being the first person who always protected you from the storms. for being the guy who became most of your firsts. for loving you too, this whole time. there’s a lot you want to thank itoshi sae for—but where you’re about to go, the phase of life that you’re going to enter, it’ll know no peace if you allow sae in it.

this might be one of the last few times you ever speak to the love of your life.

sae chuckles weakly, the strength in his grip fading. “i should be the one telling you that.” you were an integral part of his youth after all. you’re the only one for him, and that’s all that has to be said. only person outside of family he truly cares for. only person he’d ever give his heart to. only person that can demand anything of him and he’ll follow through. only person that can possibly ruin him.

only person that he wonders what it’d feel like if he ever heard you say it back.

but he knows he’ll never get it.

“maybe… in another life,” and a small smile is all you can offer before you have to pull away, the tenderness with which sae holds you rivaling that of your fiancée’s.

in another life, he’ll definitely find you. he’ll find you and keep you and make sure he isn’t as stupid as he was back then.

but as he lets your fingers slip through his hand, as he watches you retreat to your future husband—he knows that this life is what matters now, and this life is where he’ll never be happy. and as the groom slowly looks away from you, to sae, and nods like he now knows yet does nothing about it, sae hates him even more.

he’s perfect for you. with you. both of you seem like you’re cut from the same cloth. everything sae could probably never measure up to.

so he gets ready. gets ready to go back and have an early night. gets ready to watch you vow yourself away to another man right in front of his face. gets ready to sideline himself and say goodbye to the one person he ever loved.

on your wedding day, that’s when the two of you see the last of each other; the remnants of your friendship being kept in the form of a photo in your form—groom on one side, sae on the other. even years after the fact, even when your phone’s been changed twice, thrice, how many ever times—it’s still there, stagnant in your album, never discarded.

on another side of the world, the same happens with sae. it’s there, as though it’s engraved in the album, favourited and kept hidden. petty as it is, the version of the picture in sae’s phone has your husband cropped out.

through all these years, sae keeps staring at it whenever he thinks of you, wondering what could’ve been.

#blue lock x reader #itoshi sae x reader #sae x reader #bllk x reader #itoshi sae x you #itoshi sae x y/n #sae x you #sae x y/n #bllk angst #itoshi sae angst #blue lock angst #sae angst #itoshi sae imagines #blue lock imagines #blue lock x you #blue lock x y/n #૪ aeri’s fics !

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saenora · 9 months

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HEATHER! • SAE ITOSHI

tw: angst, implicit smut… subpar + self indulging <//3. i read it once so idk… likeokah. mdni

thankyou to @leviismybby @keiskyutie for being the bestt babies and teaching me how to write smut💀 ilys 🤍

sae itoshi doesn’t love you, as his strong hands grip your hips, your moans echoing through the room, —he sets the pace kneading into your plushy flesh— your hands gripping the folds of the white sheet, head buried in pillow, he hides away from your gaze.

sae doesn’t fuck you in missionary/mating press, he's afraid his eyes might giveaway his true feelings, the moment they meet yours he'd hate the way you'd look at him, your eyes glimmering with love and affection.. the affection he deprives himself. the same that his heart has yearned each time your hands accidentally brushed washing over the facades he puts up.

sae doesn’t lace your fingers with his, because if he did you'd hold it better and never let it go; daunting him of a possibility where you won't be reach out for him anymore or perhaps when you'll beg him to hold it omce more. he slips off, fisting your wrists as you ask for him to trust that you'll catch him.

sae deafens himself to your sweet moans and melodic cries of I Love Yous, his name slipping off your lips effortlessly.

he'd hate the way you’d run your hands through his hair… tugging, eyes fluttering as you’d clench around his girth, your touch burns him from the inside, as your vulnerabilities seeps through naked. he’d blind himself to your smile, telling himself one day he'd be the reason you'll lose it.

you'd be a naked soul under him ready to give your all, without asking for an ounce in return. the moeent where his head would touch yours, all his weapons turning usless against the urge to hold you close, to have your hearts beating as one. he'd find himself at mercy of your peace. the intimacy of the moment driving away his fears. he'd hate the urge to kiss your soft lips, for it may unveil histrue self. its too weak, you're too weak to bring his walls down he chants like a prayer while a ray peaks through the dark alleys of his crooked heart.

you’re not enough, you wont ever be, no matter what lies you feed yourself as he lays next to you, giving away not even bits to hold onto. he shuts you out. you wont be the one to hear his aching heart beat. "love need not be a two way street sae" you whisper to his back, inaudible.

you eat your own words, a hand hanging in mid air, maybe one day he'll let someone in, someone capable to fight his inner demons… someone he’d reach out to. and you widthdraw your hand, “its too early…”, “…he's too broken” you're not the one.

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koiir · 10 months

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Thinking about sae who broke up with reader for his career and he knows it’s for the best, even though he holds you as he try’s to talk you out of waiting for him knowing you deserve better—but even after a couple months you two still can’t move on.

Until he sees you as his game and he runs to you, admitting he still hasn’t let go of you and he still loves you. He hates the fact this his career took you away from him, how much he hurt you when you two parted ways.

Sae who asks you to run away with him (you think it’s a joke but bro is being fr) , he’s so tired of his career and the only thing he wishes for is you to be by his side no matter what.

Just a little Drabble but idk……(idc if it’s ooc let me dream)

#bllk imagines #blue lock scenarios #bllk scenarios #blue lock imagines #bllk sae #bllk x reader #sae x reader #sae itoshi x reader #sae imagines #itoshi sae angst #sae fluff #sae angst #bllk drabbles #bllk angst #bllk fluff #sae itoshi #sae itoshi x y/n #sae x you #koiir writes

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luvingshidou · 1 month

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YOU DISGUST ME.

....heart to heart???

sae x fem! reader part 1!!

ANGST ANGST ANGST

(sae isn't my fav character but every angst fic I read of him make me bawl)

Growing up with Sae had its perks. Being his neighbour means you could always see whenever you wanted!! Sae also would also always fight with anyone else who would pick on you!! It was like having your own bodyguard. When you were younger and playing with other kids at school, they always made you and Sae the mom and dad, when you asked why they would tease the both of you, saying that you and Sae were gonna get married in the future. You can vividly remember the time when Sae brought you behind a snall tree outside your back garden. He had a white tulip in his hand that he plucked out of one of your mother flower beds he then promised you that when you're older that you'd become boyfriend and girlfriend and live happily ever after.

For the longest time everyone thought you and Sae were dating, you were inseparable, like two peas in a pod. Even you mothers thought you were dating!! As you grew up you could feel your feelings for Sae growing stronger and stronger ever day. That's until Sae got scouted to play for Real Madrid, meaning Sae would have to leave Japan and go to Spain. You were sad when Sae told you that he had to leave and that he won't be back for good while, you almost wanted to plead with him to stay since it would be boring without him but you couldn't, Sae always adored soccer since well forever so you couldn't take this away from him. You remember the day that he left he head for Spain, he stopped at your house before heading to the airport. You remember tearing up and hugging nearly to death. But he looked so happy, but reminded yourself that when he came back, everything would go back you normal.

But still every day that you weren't with Sae was boring, every minute you could feel yourself ageing. You'd always buy bouquets of white topics just so you could feel more connected with Sae. But finally after 4 excruciating years, you finally saw him even though it was completely by coincidental. See you were just walking home after school, when you saw a familiar face, it was Sae, you were almost about to run up to him and his him but that when you noticed, Sae looked cold, his expression was blank and emotionless, he also looked skinnier. God what happened to him in those 4 years when he was playing in Spain???

"Sae???" You called out as you began to walk up to him. "Sae, it's been so long when did you come back???" You ask, a small smile clearly bestowed your face, as you try to push away the worries you were feeling right now.

"Ah, Y/N, I came back a 4 days ago." Sae said but his voice was laced with disdain, it was clear he didn't want to talk with you.

"Ah, shit really??? I can't believe I forgot what day you were coming back." You say laughing nervously, the smile on your face becoming more akward.

"You're still forgetful as ever, I see??" Sae says in a way that just was way too arrogant for your liking. You raised an eyebrow in shock, its been for years since you saw him an he's acting like this???

"Sae, what the fuck??? Its been 4 years since you saw me and your acting like you don't want nothing to do with me???" You blurted out, your akward smile turning into a frown.

"Well, 'cause I don't want nothing to do with you. Y/N you're nothing but a nuisance at this point, you don't matter to me anymore. So can you just fuck off???" Sae scoffs, rolling his eyes in disdain. He was looking at you like you were some sort of deplorable human being.

"Sae I— you fucking bastard. Don't you remember your promise???" You say, it was a bit of a childish thing to say but it was the only thing that you could muster up.

"Y/N what the fuck are you five??? I said that so long ago but you're still caught up about wanting to be my girlfriend are you??? And you're still acting like a dumb brainless bitch. Y/N, you fucking disgust me." Sae exclaims as he began to walk away, not even looking back once.

You stood there for a good 6 minutes processing what just happened, while tears streamed down your face, smudging your makeup, you slowly walked back to your house, tears fogging your vision. Once you got back you ran up to your bedroom, a large clear vase of white tulips sitting on your desk, in frustration you knocked the vase over onto the floor, glass shattering everywhere.

Fuck Sae.

Fuck Sae and his stupid tulips.

Fuck Sae and his stupid shitty promise.

(not proofread tehgeheh😋😋😋)

#post!!#bllk #blue lock #bllk x reader #bllk sae #sae x reader #sae angst #IVE BEEN READING TO MANY SAE ANGST #im not okay💔💔💔#idk if i like this #sae itoshi

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