#that's why i love watching lets plays because i get to live vicariously through people who play my fave games for the first time
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#i get sooo sad when i'm about to finish a game 😭#i wish i could wipe my memory and play tlou2 without spoilers or leaks or promo material or other opinions#GODDDD i just want to experience that switch into abby's perspective again for the first time#that would've been so sick if i hadn't been fucking SPOILED#that's why i love watching lets plays because i get to live vicariously through people who play my fave games for the first time
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After Hours
𝖘𝖈𝖊𝖓𝖊 1
toji x reader
Synopsis: What happens when you meet someone willing to make all you naughty dreams come true?
CW: virginity loss, corruption kink, size kink, alcohol consumption, shy reader, toji is a player, cum eating, Shiu is being a daddy in this per usual, modern au, afab reader, bar owner toji, 5.1k words, please let me know if i missed anything
A/N:I’m so happy to present day 1 of Kinktober!!! I’m so excited for y’all to read please enjoy!
You sipped your drink to the sound of rock music playing loudly from the speakers. You watched as hot sweaty bodies crowded around a pool table swinging money in the air while yelling out bets. The bar was lively, it was loud and there you sat, quietly at the end of the bar, watching everyone, enjoying the show. The bar had people from all walks of life come through. Some would come through and tell you stories you could never imagine, some telling you of where they were headed and some just a little sleezy looking for a quick fuck. You were never the type for hookups. You honestly couldn’t imagine being with a random stranger for one fun night. You enjoyed being in this space. It was fun to see so many different people and get to experience another’s life just for a few minutes.
“I can’t possibly imagine doing something so scary like that” you said, shocked listening to the story being told by the big figure sitting in front of you smoking a cigarette.
“You wouldn’t believe all of the crazy things I’ve done sweetheart” he pulled a long drag from his cigarette then turned to you.
“You got any stories?” he asked
“Who? Me? I- uh no I don’t really do much” you fumbled over your words suddenly becoming nervous by the question.
It was true, you didn’t really do much. You were honestly as innocent as they come. You didn’t drink, not because you thought it was bad but more so because the taste of alcohol was quite repulsive. You had never had a boyfriend before, hell you had never engaged in sex before. You just never found someone worth giving yourself away to. The idea was honestly scary. Having to get naked and show your body to another person was honestly scary yet something about it felt so intriguing. Something about sleeping with someone and having them take you in ways you wouldn’t dare speak about out loud was almost thrilling. You shook the thought away.
“I really mostly like to just hear about other people’s stories, I find them fascinating really.” You said, giving a shy smile.
He nodded his head silently taking in your words.
“Hm, I guess I could understand” he took a drag finishing his cigarette. “But what about living?”
You gave a confused look.
Living?
“What do you mean, I am living?” the question almost sounded silly
“No, you're listening to other people live. You’re basically living vicariously through other people.” He scoffed. “Why not enjoy the thrills of life yourself instead of hearing it from other people?”
The question left you speechless. You sat staring at the man's mouth slightly open unsure of what to say.
Why weren’t you living?
You went to work and came to this hole in the wall bar every night just to listen to stories and drink juice. When were you going to be the one telling the stories?
“You bothering my customers Shiu?” a loud voice interrupted your thoughts.
Toji, the bar owner, walked over to the two of you cleaning a glass with a smirk.
“Bothering? I could never. I think that might be your job.” he chuckled.
“How you doing pretty? Need another drink?” Toji asked, looking down at your almost empty glass.
“Hi Toji, I’m well today. I’d love another juice thankyou” you said smiling softly.
Ever since you first walked into the bar Toji had been as kind as ever. His smile was always inviting. He was tall, buff and handsome. He always left you feeling starstruck as he moved behind the counter muscles flexing in his tight shirt smiling handsomely at customers as they handed him large tips. He always gave you free drinks mostly because you only ordered juice. He was even nice enough to let you stay after closing and keep him company while he cleaned and told you stories of before he owned the bar.
“Your friend wasn’t bothering me” you said as he handed you a full glass. “I was probably bothering him,” you laughed.
Toji smiled and leaned forward on his elbows.
“I’m sure a pretty girl like you could never bother anyone.”
You looked down smiling at the remark. Toji was a big flirt with everyone. If a pretty girl walked in and looked like she had big pockets he would somehow always flirt his way into an unusually large tip.
“I was just offering a little advice,” Shiu said as he pulled out another cigarette, putting it between his lips.
“Last time you gave someone advice they died” Toji commented as he fixed a drink for a regular.
“They took it a little too literally, that isn’t my fault” he lit the cigarette pulling a long drag.
The two bantered back and forth arguing over his advice.
“He actually told me something really helpful” You interrupted.
“Oh yeah and what was it exactly?” Toji leaned over the counter dangerously close to you. He bit his lip as he stared at you waiting for you to answer. You shied away suddenly feeling nervous under his gaze.
“I- well it was just about me living life that’s all” you stumbled over your words.
Toji smirked at you
“Now why would he say such a thing doll?” he seemed intrigued as he sat up and poured a shot for himself and Shui.
“I guess , well , I’m just not living out my fantasies…” your voice died out towards the end of your sentence.
“Not living out your fantasies?” Toji rested his head in his hand with a smirk playing on his face.
“Tell me more about that” his voice was low as he asked for more. You sat in front of him watching his movements almost hypnotized by the way he spoke so smoothly. Toji was an intimidating guy. No matter how many nights you spent sitting chatting with him about any and everything you never failed to grow nervous under his dark gaze.
“I uh I shouldn’t talk too much about it” you let out a nervous chuckle.
Toji sat up letting out a small sigh.
“All right then, keep your secrets,” he laughed.
You gave a shy smile before sipping your drink. It would have been hard to admit in front of two obviously attractive men that you fantasized about losing your virginity. The topic seemed so taboo. You could imagine them pushing for more details. Why hadn’t you lost your virginity? What are you waiting for? Are you some kind of saint, too good for sex?None of the above. The right person just hasn’t come along yet, someone to send chills through your body just from their voice. You wanted someone who would make you feel something, someone worth it. You sat in silence stuck on the previous conversation. You hadn’t noticed the bar slowly emptying out. Drunk bodies stumbled out slurring words as they called their rides.
“You sticking with me, pretty girl?” Toji’s voice interrupted your thoughts.
You nodded your head with a small smile, it wouldn’t hurt having another late night conversation with Toji while he closed.You looked around noticing Shui pulling out his last cigarette before throwing back the rest of his drink.
“I’m leaving you, two have a good night” he turned to you “I meant what I said live a little, kid”
“Hey what about me Shiu got any advice for me ?” he teased
Shiu walked to the door before turning around
“Hm, actually yes, go to hell” he smirked and left without another word.
Toji scuffed as he wiped down the counter.
“Asshole,” he mumbled.
You laughed at the encounter and looked around at the now empty bar. It was nice to look at apart from the scattered beer and glasses. The bar had nice decor, it was one of the main factors that attracted you to the place.
“So any new stories for me?” you asked, watching as Toji came from behind the counter with a broom sweeping the place.
“You like my stories that much?” he asked, half his attention on you, half on cleaning.
“You spun around on the bar stool laughing to yourself at the childish action.
“I think you have fun things to say” you thinking to yourself for a moment “And well I guess I really like your voice” you mumbled the last part.
Toji chuckled, stopping his actions. He looked at you with a smirk.
“You like my voice huh?”
You looked away suddenly embarrassed by your confession.
“I mean well you- it” you stammered
“It’s okay doll” Toji walked closer to you lowering his voice in the process.
“I could talk all you want” he said “ But I’d more so like to hear something about you” he said as he came close standing between your legs as you sat facing him on the stool.
“Something about me?” you asked slightly confused.
“Yeah, I mean you sit with me while I clean all the time and you listen to me go on and on about stories for days yet, you never talk to me about yourself.” he said leaning closer to you.
Your breath hitched feeling the heat from his body as he closed the space between you two.
“For example I’d love to continue that conversation from earlier, you know the one about those fantasies of yours.”
He leaned down eye level to you just a breath away. His lips were only inches away from yours. You wanted to lean in just to see how soft his lips would be. Would he taste like alcohol or something sweeter? How soft would his lips be? You leaned into him only for him to reach behind you picking up the spray bottle and rag. He walked away with a smirk and began wiping down tables.
“Talk to me doll” he said “ I mean I’ve told you so many things before it's only fair you tell me a secret or two” his voice was sensual. It sent tingles through your body to your core. You crossed your legs squeezing tight at the sound.
“Well” you said contemplating if you should speak your thoughts.
Toji stopped his cleaning to look at you
“It's just us two here, you can tell me anything” he said softly.
You looked around as if you’d somehow find someone sitting in the corner listening in. To no surprise the room was empty apart from Toji’s large muscular body standing a few feet away from you.
“I guess I just fantasize about losing my virginity,” you said, voice fading away.
You felt embarrassed at your confession. You wanted to hide away. Lose your virgin, what a foolish fantasy. Why not something like travel the world or start a business, that’s a real fantasy but no there you sat legs crossed squeezed searching for friction. “I mean- well there's more but I well” your words seemed to scramble as you spoke. Toji stood in front of you smiling at your truth.
“I think that’s a cute fantasy.” he said
He leaned against the table and folded his arm.
“I’d love to hear more about this…” he bowed his head, hiding his smile, “fantasy,” he said finishing his sentence.
“What? More?” you almost yelled shocked by his words
He licked his lips while making eye contact.
“Yeah” he repeated “More”
He got up from the table and began to roam around the room with a sigh.
“I mean there’s gotta be something more to this little fantasy of yours”
He walked over to you fiddling with the edge of your skirt. His fingers brushed against your skin making you feel hot all over.
“What is it, do you have some fantasy of getting tied up for your first time?”
His fingers danced across your skin. He looked down concentrated on his hand movements.
“Or do you just want a nice big cock to stretch you out?”
His words went straight to your core. You were too shocked by the vulgarity of it all to say anything. No one had ever spoken to you like that before. No one’s words had ever made you throb the way his did.He chuckled at your silence. Toji stepped away and went back to cleaning. You almost had the urge to snatch his arm and drag him back to you. You could never see yourself being that brave though.
“Well what about you?” you muttered too shy to speak up.
“Hm? Me?” he asked looking up from his task.
“Oh well I’ve got a few fantasies I guess” He stood with a concentrated look thinking about his own fantasies.
Your mind was running a relay race imagining the lewd words that could possibly come from him. At the same time you wondered what he could possibly fantasize about? What had he not done? You leaned forward intrigued with what he would say.
“Tell me,” you said, eyes wide with interest.
He laughed at your eagerness
“You really wanna know?” he asked, leaning against the table.
You nodded your head, excitement coursing through you.
“I do,” you said in a hushed voice.
Toji walked to you leaving his rag behind. His footsteps seemed so loud in the empty room. He filled up so much space with confidence alone.
“I guess I have that same fantasy”
His finger traced your jawline while his eyes stared deep into yours.
“I’ve been thinking about it alot lately,” he said as he licked his lips. “I can't stop thinking about how good it would feel stretching out a fresh virgin hole. The thought of making someone so innocent beg for my cock while I fuck them dumb” his bit his lip and looked down towards your plump ones “That shit just drives me crazy doll”
Your breath hitched as he spoke. You couldn’t help the throbbing that went to your core. The thought of having someone like Toji give you everything you ever desired sent shivers through you. You knew he’d make you feel better than any toy you had could ever make you feel. The way his lips looked so wet and soft, the way his muscles strained against his shirt, how he always smelled good always made your heart beat so hard you were sure he could hear. You sat starstruck, unable to form the words you wanted to say. Hell, you didn’t even know what to say. Would you beg him to fuck you, to take your virginity right then and there? Would you tell him that's nice and try to change the subject? No you had to take chances,
Live a little kid
You heard Shiu’s words replay in your mind like a record.
Now was the time to live a little.
“You got something on your mind?” Toji asked as if he was just waiting for you to say the word.
“I can help” the words flew out your mouth at the speed of light.
You wanted to hide away after hearing yourself. Help what? Clean? You couldn't pull yourself together.
Toji hummed satisfied with your answer.
“You want to help?” he asked “Are you asking me to bend you over and fuck you in this bar?”
He leaned in to whisper the words in your ear. Hearing him say it out loud almost felt wrong.
“I do- I mean I am- wait I mean” you fumbled over your words too overcome with embarrassment to function.
Toji’s laughter caught you off guard. He grabbed you by the jaw and pulled you in for a kiss. The kiss was wet. He tasted so sweet even though he had been drinking. His lips were soft. So soft you felt yourself melting into him. Your hands gripped the side of the stool almost tearing at the leather. Toji’s hand moved down to your neck pulling you closer to deepen the kiss. His kiss was delicate yet was filled with hunger. His fingers danced up your skirt feeling the heat between your legs.
“No panties huh, you’re not as innocent as i thought” he smiled as he inched his fingers closer to your core feeling the way you were practically leaking.
“This can’t possibly be your first go around. You come in wearing these short skirts” he pressed a kiss to your neck and licked a long strip up to your jaw.
“You're wearing nothing underneath. I bet you were just begging for someone like me to peek and see that pretty little pussy dripping all over my seats.”
You were left in a daze from his fingers just barely brushing against where you needed him most to how he sucked your neck leaving your skin feeling raw. His scent filled your every waking being. He was all that you could feel, see, touch, smell. It was almost as if he had become the only person left in the world and all that you wanted was for him to touch you; to touch you in ways no one had ever done before. You needed him. Your mind was desperately pleading for him to slip his fingers inside of you, to feel your gummy walls and finally give you the pleasure that you were desperately clinging onto him for.
“Please touch me” you whimpered out.
Your voice felt so weak. You were so needy for him, your fingers dug into his arm pulling him closer.
“Such a needy little thing” he chuckled
His fingers moved along your legs teasing you with every touch.
“I need more than that love. Where do you need me” he voiced with his head still in the crook of your neck sucking and licking at your skin.
You grabbed his hand, dragging it up your thigh to place it between your folds. Words seemed to fail you so taking action was your only choice.
“Here”
Toji smiled at your courage. His fingers maneuvered up and down your core feeling how wet you were. He rubbed soothing circles onto the bundle of nerves earning him a soft moan from you.
“Have you ever been stuffed with someone’s fingers?” he asked in a low voice
You shook your head while meeting his eyes.Toji free hand grabbed your jaw.
“Words Princess”
“No,” you whimpered.
Your answer seemed to have a strong effect on him. The thought of watching your innocence slip away from you at his hand was enough to have his cock straining against his pants.
“I’m gonna put a finger in and I’ll let you know each time I do just so you don’t get all shy on me when your pussy’s sucking my fingers in” he smiled.
His thumb kept a steady pace rubbing quick circles while he slipped his first finger into your hole.
“That’s it” he said, rocking his finger in and out of your eyes watching the way your mouth widened to an ‘o’ shape while moans spilled past your lips.
“You like that?” He placed a wet kiss on your lips.”Pussy feels so tight baby, I wonder how you’re gonna take my cock”
You let out a whine while your hips grinded down onto his hand.
“More please, I need more”
Toji’s eyes lit up at your words.
“Oh? My nasty girl wants more huh” He smirked “I’m putting in a second finger now dirty girl, I’ll give you what you want”
His second finger slipped in with ease. A gasp escaped your lips as he filled you up groaning at the way your hole squeezed around his fingers.
“So wet for me doll.” His breath ghosted against your lips as his fingers continued to fuck in and out of you making a mess below you. You let out weak moans and gasp. This feeling of his fingers massaging your gummy walls was something you had never experienced before. You felt the world revolving around you. Your heart was racing in your chest. Everything seemed so loud at that moment. The way his breaths sounded sharp as his fingers picked up speed. The drips of water from the sink he had left running after washing dishes, The cars speeding by not noticing how you were falling apart giving yourself away to him. If a car were to slow down just for a few seconds it would have been so easy to just peek into the window to see how your legs were spread open. Your hips were grinding down onto him. It would have been so easy just to see how much of a mess you were making for his fingers. That seemed to send a thrill through you, having some unknown stranger turn their head and watch you lose your virginity and take a cock for the first time.
“God, it feels so good” you let out a loud gasp unable to contain yourself.
The feeling of him dipping his fingers into you was so overwhelming you thought you might lose your mind. You had never touched yourself like this before. You always stayed away from fucking your self with you fingers to afraid to stick a finger in always preferring to massage your clit. Little did you know the desire and pleasure that would come with having someone shove their fingers deep into you, you were practically drooling from the feeling. You felt a pit forming in your stomach the feeling so foreign all you could do was moan and curse about how good he felt.
“Come on doll” Toji rasped out “ Give it to me, make me proud, show me how pretty you look making a mess on my fingers.”
His words were enough to send you spiraling. You let out loud unfiltered moans. This was new, something better than ever. You wanted- no craved more. This feeling of ecstasy felt like a drug taking over you. You let out heavy breathes as you came down from your high.
“Don’t think we’re done just yet doll, I want you to take your first cock” Toji said as he lifted you bringing you to the table he had just wiped down.
He pulled your shirt up exposing your breast and pulled a nipple into his mouth. You let out a long moan feeling his hot tongue swivel around your nipple. His mouth felt so warm. His hand squeezed and massaged your other breast as he let out a groan. He pulled your skirt off and threw it in a nearby corner.
“You won't be needing that” He said as he took your body in.
He pulled his cock free from his pants and your eyes went wide. Not only was he big, he was thick. You sat staring with a slack jaw fearful that his two fingers weren’t enough to make him fit. He stroked his cock as he rubbed circles on your clit.
“Look at what you do to me doll” he said, voice strained. “Got me so fucking hard I can’t wait to make your pussy cream”
He pushed you down so that your back was laying flat against the table. His arms wrapped around your thighs to pull you to the edge of the table. He rubbed the tip of his cock against your clit sending shivers through your body.
“Look at you, being so good for me, you ready to take your first cock” he licked his lips staring at your glistening cunt “You ready to make a real mess for me baby?”
The tip of his cock prodded at your hole just barely entering.
“It- It’s too big” you whimpered watching as he held his cock rubbing it through your folds.
“Don’t worry doll, I’ll make it fit” he said, eyes never leaving your hole.
He inched his cock into you achingly slowly watching how your pussy sucked him in taking all that he was giving you. Toji’s eyes rolled back, feeling how tight you were squeezing around him. He had known you'd be tight but never did he imagine you’d have him ready to cum just from sinking himself into you. He stilled inside of you just admiring the warmth and tightness of you. He took a deep breath to gather himself.
“Fuck you feel so good” he whispered the words and you almost didnt hear him.
“I’m gonna take it nice and slow for you princess”
He moved his hips in a slow motion watching the way your face moved from being scrunched up in pain to eyes rolling back enjoying the pleasure of being stuffed full.
“You like that shit” he asked as he rolled his hips into you slowly. His cock felt so delicious inside of you. You wanted this feeling forever. He filled you up so perfectly. You couldn’t fathom the idea of having anyone else fill you up like this. The way his hips rolled into yours meeting your hips with a soft slap left you gasping for air.
“Breathe baby breath” he rubbed soothing circles into your hips.
You sucked in a shaky breath not realizing you had been holding your breath focusing solely on the pleasure of him.
“Come on baby let me hear those moans, I want to hear how you sound taking your first cock” he squeezed your hips as he rocked into you. Toji was holding back. He bit his lip trying to contain himself. He didn’t want to destroy you for your first time. It was taking everything in him not to absolutely wreck you. He made a mental note to himself that the next time he stuffed his cock into you, he’d leaving you a drooling fucked out mess but for now he would be content with just watching the way you’d fall apart taking him your first time.
“Tell me how it feels” he leaned down to pepper wet kisses from your collar to your neck. “First time being so full, tell me where you feel me baby talk to me”
You could barely breathe properly and now you were trying to form sentences.
“So good ugh I feel it all in my tummy it's so big” you slurred.
Your moans were so loud any person walking by would have a perfect show to watch. You couldn’t find it in yourself to care about any lingering stares that could possibly be watching through the window. Your mind wandered off to thoughts of someone sneaking looks through the window, digging their hand in their pants and getting off to you creaming on your first cock. What a lewd thought. Your whimpers seemed to repeat like a broken record. You couldn’t help but moan and beg him for more.
“Faster please I need more” you whimpered, hardly able to contain yourself as you bucked your hips upwards into him.
“You sure doll, I don't think I’ll be able to stop if I do” his voice was gruff as he fucked you in a slow pace.
“Please” you begged “I need you so bad”
Toji bit his lip. He grabbed your legs pulling them up so your ankles could rest on his shoulder. He rubbed your stomach feeling where his cock was inside of you. His hands massaged your skin as he grabbed your calf kissing your ankle.
“Be a good girl and take everything I give you then, hm?”
His cocked slammed into you at a pace you did not expect. His hips met yours with a loud slap. Toji’s eyes scanned your body watching every movement. Your back arched off the table as you moaned so loud your voice echoed off the walls.
“Look so pretty taking cock” he groaned “ Mean to tell me I’m the first one to get to see you like this”
His thrust were relentless slamming into you “This sight is too pretty to share.” His thumb rubbed circles onto your clit as he rocked his hips into you.
“That’s it taking me so well doll” His words were going straight to your core.
You could barely form sentences, only strained moans and slurred versions of his name. Your body seemed to fall apart for him. The table under you rocked back and forth with his thrust. If you had half a mind you would be worried that it would break but all you could think of was how you were about to cum. You felt a warmth in your stomach as he fucked you.
“Come one Princess I want you to cum with me. I want to see how messy you get for the first time” his words had your eyes rolling back. You felt so weak barely able to do anything but cum on his cock. Your body didn’t feel like yours. You had never came so hard in your life. He was covered in your juices, soaked from all that you had to give him. Toji’s eyes were looking down focused on the way his cum mixed with yours covered his cock. His movements slowed as he fucked the cum inside of you.
“I don’t like being wasteful” he said as two fingers covered in cum moved between your lips. You sucked his fingers obediently without a second thought. You were in such a daze you would have done anything for him.
“You were so good for me” his voice was low as he leaned down placing kisses on your lips.
Toji felt his heart growing warm. He had never felt so soft for someone before.With any other girl who would have already been zipping up his pants and ordering them a ride but for you it felt different. He wanted to fulfill every fantasy you had. He wanted to be the only one watching you cum. It was either him or nothing at all. You were just too perfect to share. From the way your chest moved trying to catch your breath to the way your plump lips sat open wet from drool had his heart feeling like it might beat out of his chest.
“I want to make all those nasty fantasies of yours come true.” He whispered, kissing your skin cock still stuffed inside of you.
“I want to be the only one to get to see you like this”
🏷️: @karazorel7 , @candyceedea , @fleurettiie , @pressuredtreasure , @plaxxxie , @cloud-lyy , @fictionalthirsting , @smuttyfantasyrecs , @enchantedcherie , @coyloves , @baldi-2 , @pickledwasp , @sanxuus , @fictionsimp , @ibby-miyoshi-nerd , @kiqqnii , @snazzyturtles , @sadlittle-girl , @faumpje , @nvvacanesworld , @no-f34r
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May I request Savanaclaw and Octotrio in Twisted Earth?
I can request a part of Twisted Earth but with the octotrio (u know Octavinelle dorm)? Please. I really love your work!! 😩
Twisted Earth Part Three
Summary: Octavinelle/Savannaclaw x gn!reader. They're real, you're the game.
A/N:The people have spoken! I'm so happy you guys like these 🥺 I got these two requests, plus one other that included Savannaclaw all within the course of three hours of eachother. Also! Thank you guys for 800 followers!
Part One Part Two Part Four Part Five Part Six
He downloaded the game after it started to gain popularity. He was doing research, because as it was making its rounds around NRC, he realized he could have a themed night in the lounge, and make the big bucks.
He plays it between clients in the VIP room. Once the room is empty, he'll subtly pull out his phone under his desk. If Jade or Floyd come back in unexpectedly, he'll be like, "What?!? I'm not doing anything!" And throw his phone. ( The twins do it on purpose now, they think it's hysterical)
He corners the market on merch. The devs don't really release their own merch, so he's making the big money! But it's all under the table. No one but the twins know that Octavinelle is the leading producer of Twisted Earth Merch. (They have Tshirt making parties when stock is low. It's so wholesome)
He likes you a lot. He likes that you're a flawed character. You're not perfect. And because of this, he thinks you'd help heal his broken parts. For now, he'll live vicariously through the game…but if a certain horned fae were to request a contract that would help bring you to life, he'd be hard pressed to refuse.
He has terrible luck. He has put real money in the game and still never gotten any of your cards. It's infuriating.
He downloaded it because it looked fun. But he gets bored quickly, so he only plays every couple of months. (This is usually when he over hears someone talking about how they love you, and he gets angry that someone would try to steal his shrimpy, so he rage plays for a week)
Has incredible luck. He'll do a single pull, and get the card he wants. Then he won't even take care of it. It just sits in his collection. Again, infuriating.
Has a t-shirt of you, but it's literally just a meme about you that someone put on a Tshirt. It's so cursed, but he loves it.
You look so squishy! And he bets you'd be so short compared to him if you were real! And if not, he could climb you like a bean pole! He wants to squeeze you so bad! You'd let him if you were real, right? And you wouldn't let anyone else squeeze you? Cause that would be very mean.
Destroyed his phone when that one character admitted they were in love with you…. He's only allowed to play under supervision now.
He's a scientist, first and foremost. If all the school is interested in something, it's his job to play it, and find out why. Honestly, he's probably the one who suggested a themed night to Azul.
He finds you fascinating. If you were real, he'd probably just watch you. He doesn't need to interact, he just wants to see what you're doing. Rewards you for good choices with a custom made terrarium.
He named one of his mushrooms after you, which is the highest honor he can bestow. (You can't tell me he doesn't name his mushrooms) One time, Floyd was ready to throw all the terrariums out in a rage, but finding out one was named after you (but not being told which one) he left them alone.
He has decent luck. But he doesn't have to focus super hard on his collection, since he can just use Floyd's.
(He believes he'd just watch you if you were real, but after that character admitted they loved you, he went on a six hour rage hike.)
He got tired of getting ads for it, so he downloaded it to make fun of it. Then his eyes met yours and…..well, you get it.
He won't ever admit how much light the game brings to him. But sometimes when Ruggie wakes him up, and he logs into the game, he can make out the softest smile on Leona's face when you greet him.
He very heavily debated getting a body pillow. He knew he'd use it too, because of how often he cuddles his pillows at nap time. But he could never pull the trigger. He thought it would be too far.
He likes to think that you would care about him, not his title or his magic, him. And in turn, he would spoil you like you deserve to be. You'd want for nothing, just be his cuddle buddy for a few minutes longer.
He has the SSR basic card for every character except you. He has all your regular cards, sure. But no matter how many hundreds and thousands of pulls he does, you just won't come home. Not that he cares. Gacha is a stupid system anyway.
He rarely has the time to play. Honestly, he doesn't even really play at all. It sits on his phone, and is never opened. But he makes up for it by watching videos online, checking out fan forums, and reading fan fictions and theories.
He didn't even get to meet your character in the game before he got too busy to play. But he read a fanfic called y/n x workaholic reader, where you helped the reader with their work, and then pampered them afterwards. He loved you ever since.
He doesn't think merch is a good use of his hard earned money. But should he ever strike gold, there is one plushie he has his eyes on that he would love to just squish all day.
At this point, he's read so many fanfics, that he's pretty sure he wouldn't actually enjoy the canon story. But he'll leave it on his phone for now. He can't bring himself to delete it.
Downloaded it when he heard all the Savannahlaw guys going on and on about their favorite characters. He wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Surely, every character couldn't possibly be…oh. Oh yeah every one of them is very pretty.
But he finds you the prettiest. He isn't sure why. Maybe it's that glint in your eyes, or the way your hair sits just the way he likes it, or the jacket your character wears. He doesn't know what it is. But you're the prettiest to him.
He won't spend money on this. He thinks it would be a waste. So he's lucky that he has two of your SSR cards. And both of them have stories where you persevere and show everyone you are stronger than you look, physically and emotionally. It just proves that he was right to pick you.
For some reason, he always imagines how things would be if you were real. He'd want to have soft domestic moments with you. Maybe you'd both brush each other's hair. Maybe you'd cook together. Maybe you'd do chores in the same room. He imagines you two could say very little, and be happy that you are both just in each other's company.
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#azul ashengrotto#azul x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#twst azul#twst floyd#floyd x reader#floyd leech x reader#floyd leech#jade leech x reader#jade x reader#jade leech#twst jade#leona kingscholar x reader#twst leona#leona x reader#leona kingscholar#ruggie#ruggie bucchi x reader#ruggie x reader#ruggie bucchi#twst ruggie#jack howl x reader#jack howl#jack x reader#twst jack
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here are my headcanons that clash with the lore [aka ronnie hobb's headcanons he just makes up on the spot me thinks] i have for tcm game characters bc i have writer's block and i need out of it FAST.
danny does not go to university, i'm sorry. i know i know the home gives him a scholarship but he is a blue collar guy. he has to make his own living, he's a hands on guy and he's got COMMON SENSE. no working-class person in the 70s is going to college, they know learning on the job is both sustainable for living (plus he's in a situation where he has to leave the home at 18, so he gotta pay city rent prices to have a roof over his head) and better to learn a trade while getting a paycheck. he was an apprentice since he was 18, and is a year into working as a car mechanic in austin. he does night/weekend classes at the university, probs something in humanities or art. he frequents the student bars when he has his time off, and that is when he meets maria + the gang. he knows leland from fixing his car from time to time, and when danny sees him at a bar one night, hanging out with maria, he knows right away he's asking him to introduce him to her.
leland is NOT the mf that gets the friend group together. this mf has a lot of misogyny to unlearn from growing up in a southern suburb. he took an elective in an art just so he can be in a class with "hot chicks". he doesn't even consider being friends with women at first bc he used to think girls = protential girlfriends/future wives. it wasn't until he found out sonny (the first friend he made, his bff) was close with maria, julie and connie that he warmed up to the idea of all hanging out together. sure... his crush on julie played a factor on him wanting to stay, but being around such open-minded people made him relax and unlearn the shitty traditions he didn't like in the first place. now they're like sisters to him and he lets maria braid his hair when stoned and makes attempt at getting connie out of her shy shell. watching julie from afar, remembering her off-hand remark about not wanting to be in a relationship, keeping his feelings to himself; because he doesn't wanna ruin the bond they all have.
the reason why julie is not wanting to date is because she comes to the realisation of her sexuality. she realises she likes men because, men tend to like her first, and it's easy to love someone who loves you back (typical fire sign move). and she's never picky, she says she doesn't care about looks; it's more the personality. and that is true but, for a guy if he has good style and funny -- she's settled. then she will see a lassie and think "she is the most ethereal thing i've laid eyes on". the intensity of her love for women compared to men hits her overnight. she lets her love for women shine through her platonic relationships; connie, maria and ana are her first priorities (especially connie). she likes sleepovers, having the illusion of living with a s/o while sharing a bed and making breakfast in the morning. she loves showering her friends in compliments, giving them makeovers, taking any excuse to be close to them and show her adoration. her subconscious desire to be in a relationship with a woman lives vicariously through the platonic relationships she has with her feminine peers.
the only person who can see right through it is connie, someone who has her sexuality figured out. she went through the same self-discovery, after all. but loving julie means moving on from her lover who she left behind, so connie is tied at both ends. does she take the risk, find new beginnings, even when there is no concrete proof julie is capable of loving her? or does she keep her promise, return to her lover back home, even if that meant witnessing the promise broken on the other side? what if she found another fate, got married, had kids, kept the feelings hidden. and when she sees how men look at julie, and how boys looked at her past lover, the insecurity prevails. why should they take the risk for her, a singular person, when there is the familiar option lining up to be her husband? *queue Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan*
#went from working class heroes to GAY real quick huh#i say i'm not a shipper then make the most angsty julie/connie headcanon SORRY#sorry i have a habit of queer yearning bc i am miserable#tcm game#danny gaines#leland mckinney#sonny williams#julie crawford#connie taylor
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I was asked by someone to talk about why it can be hard to enjoy things sometimes, like the element of guilt and shame around feeling happy, wanting things for recreational fun, even when times are tough and money might be tight.
And it can be more than just hard, it can be impossible at times. There is definitely the element of guilt in the concept of play, especially as an adult. To purposefully choose rest? To purposefully set aside the stress and pick something that soothes instead?
There is a type of vulnerability that comes with it. Like, "why am I not doing this or that right now? I cant afford to rest, i need to be working right now." There is a sense of survival to it all. The sacrifice to get it right, so you don't lose all that you have.
I think this is especially hard if our parents taught us to prioritize work, don't play around so much, grow up & accept responsibility, etc. To be put with such a burden as a child, is just the pavement for the burnout and depression you feel now.
These feelings are so valid, and something a lot of us struggle with. And I think probably the best thing you can do, is to reframe the concept of rest in itself.
Rest is necessary. Rest helps you stay alive, too. Rest is what helps your brain breathe. Rest helps you process on a deeper level. Rest is what gives you purpose.
Resting looks different for everyone. Those childhood hobbies you've wanted to revisit? The games you could never play as a kid? The anime or cartoons you used to watch, or never got to watch? The toys your parents took from you? The innocence and joy you had to sacrifice far too long before your time? You have the right to reclaim that.
Something that helped me a lot with this, was to understand that adults are allowed to have fun too. Just because you're old and grown up now, doesn't mean you gotta do the same old and grown up things your parents did. That's why they're so bitter. They never learned how to have fun. They never learned how to rest.
And maybe that's a hard concept to sit with, you know? Life sucks! It's not always happy fun times! Shit happens!
The concept of rest is what helps us find compassion for ourselves even while life sucks. You don't have to be happy right now, if you don't feel like it. You can be sad, mad, angry, depressed. You can be all of these things, and do nothing about it. You can be all of these things, and dwell in it if you need to.
But, you can also be all of these things and still find time to rest it out. You can enjoy that hobby and still be mad and angry at the end of the day. Be mad and angry while you do it. Do it because you're mad and angry.
My therapist loves it when I tell her, "i wanna take next week off." She says I'm one of the only clients who says that to her. She says, she likes it because I know when I need a break. You don't always have to be working so hard. You are allowed to set those burdens down and take a break.
Even if it's stressful, even if money is tight. You can and still deserve to enjoy yourself in the process.
And speaking of money, let's talk about how society frames poverty in this day and age. People will say shit like, "you're poor because you lack financial management."
Mm. Do yourself a favor and reframe the hell out of that. You're not poor by choice. You don't deserve to suffer just because finances are tight. There is never any moral judgement that should be placed on you just because you can't afford to live like the standard. That is ableist, classist rhetoric at its best.
If you're low on funds and still wanna enjoy your hobbies, consider ways you can get them for free. Oftentimes I've taken to watching let's plays of video games I wanna play, but can't afford. I live vicariously through the free entertainment the world has to offer. I've found refuge in DnD podcasts, gaming videos, art therapy, etc. Sometimes there are even local events in ur area that are hosted for free. You can even check out your local Facebook marketplace for freebies in ur area, too. You definitely don't need money to find a good time. You just need the mindset to know you're deserving of your freedom & autonomy, no matter how you gotta find it.
You deserve the comforts. You deserve the same joy and comfort and happiness of giving yourself the grace and compassion of knowing your situation does not define you.
Go out and find your own definitions of how you want to handle comfort, rest, and your right to feel whatever it is you need to feel about it.
Hope this helps 🌸
#recovery#ptsd#trauma#mental health#boundaries#healing#healing thoughts#communication#advice#life advice#rest#emotional autonomy#autonomy#emotional work#inner child#inner child healing#self care#self love#self esteem
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Unpopular opinion: I think one of the reasons why Freddie is always stated as bisexual is because some people and the media love to play on that biphobic stereotype that bi people are naturally promiscuous and would fuck anyone and everyone just because they are attracted to more than one gender.
In MY opinion, some people get mad when you correct them saying he’s gay because that ruins their perception of seeing Freddie as the very promiscuous sex freak who did it with everyone (an idea which he himself joked about and played with for his public persona) and gives them pause from snickering at and being entertained by that bisexual-sex-addict-circus-act spectacle biphobes like to mock bi people for. The media does it because that confirms what people like to think when they think about Freddie in relation to his sex life, and sex and promiscuity are easy sensational clickbait topics.
I mean, I’ve even seen some fans get a kick out of the thought that Freddie fucked everyone he met and had a super wild sex life - it’s the same with how people get obsessed with that New Orleans party and the whole “rock ‘n’ roll” lifestyle. Except for the rest of the band, people (I mean straight men) like to project their fantasies onto them and sort of live vicariously through those stories of having hundreds of strippers and naked girls at a party. For Freddie, there’s a biphobic element because he’s queer and it’s not said in a way that’s like “good for him, I want that too”, it’s more like “he led such a life of debauchery LOL let’s all laugh at it together because that’s so outrageous and typical of bisexual people they’re so wild!” Freddie’s life still serves as a freak show to some people. I mean even the TV host in that one week later interview encapsulated how lots of people view(ed) Freddie - “ a decadent, wild, bisexual, irresponsible lover”. If you suggest that Freddie was not bisexual, that facade does not stand as strong.
Bi people should not be seen like that, but unfortunately it’s still a harmful stereotype a lot of people run to when they think of bisexuality. And of course, nothing wrong with being sex positive. But the way people see Freddie as this crazy sex freak and fixate on that idea and nothing else is Not Good. The way they talk about his personal life imo is not a celebration of his life or sexuality, rather it’s seeing him as a freak exhibition to laugh at and about, to gossip with other people about because of how OuTRAGeOuS and LiCenTioUs he was. I think this, combined with their insistence that he’s bisexual, at the very least partly are rooted in biphobia (and homophobia because that erases his sexuality and suggests the “gold star gay” route is the only valid way to be gay).
(Some part of me thinks this also relates in a way to how some people complained that the biopic is too sanitized. I’m not saying that it isn’t, or that the biopic being R-rated and showing more of Freddie’s sex life would be inherently bad. But from what I’ve observed, a lot of people’s grievance with the biopic is “I came to see the Queen/Freddie biopic to see some crazy sex and debauchery, and I did not get that. How could a film about Freddie Mercury be PG-13? The man did everything with everyone! Where are the orgies and sex parties? [cue something about little people and cocaine]”. They want to practically watch porn at this point, because sex, especially queer sex, is shocking and scandalous and outrageous, not because they want an accurate LGBT+ representation and a generally good representation of Freddie's life. It’s seeing Freddie’s sex life as a spectacle, and the public perception of him being bisexual and the biphobic idea that all bisexual people are promiscuous sex addicts are all mixed up in that.)
#i hope i worded this right#i wrote this in 20 minutes and now i'm going to dip bye#freddie#ramblings#freddie mercury#biphobia#fact: freddie mercury was a gay man
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If people aren't going to bother understanding what attachments actually are in Jedi culture or try understanding the Asian religions they are inspired by and instead dismiss it? Then they need to just refrain from writing Jedi at all instead of spreading more misinformation. Like how are fans going to even properly analyze and critique the Jedi Order if they don't even know WHAT they're actually critiquing and base their opinions off this fandom playing a long game of telephone? I'm getting really tired of seeing the same discourse of how Jedi discourages emotions like love or sever cultural ties or prevent cultural expression when that's not supported in the original six movies. Also, imagine being that dense to think Grogu's or Reva's trauma was caused by the Jedi order instead of the Empire that genocided their culture or the traffickers that sold Force sensitive people. Clown behavior.
A+ rant, I definitely sympathize. People really do overemphasize the no emotion things when like, it's VERY explicit it's about regulating your emotions. Right in ANH, Luke is missing his Death Star shots until he calms himself down and focuses. My personal favorite is Obi-Wan vs. Maul. Obi-Wan is consumed by grief and anger when Qui-Gon is killed, and almost gets himself killed - until he controls his emotions and is able to kill* Maul. We see him attending a funeral later where he (and other Jedi) are shown mourning Qui-Gon, so it's not like he can't have those feelings. He just isn't allowed to be ruled by those feelings, which, when you have superpowers it's a good thing you're not blindly ruled by emotion. Anakin goes apeshit because he's so ruled by his fear of losing Padme and look how many people die.
*Side note I feel like Maul living is stupid (he was cut in half!) and invalidates this incredibly important moment in Obi-Wan's character development and I will never acknowledge that Maul lived past TPM.
Lol when watching Kenobi, where Anakin is shown murdering children on-screen so explicitly they had to put a content warning (and personally as a teacher I even found it a little triggering/anxiety-inducing) my first thought was still "and Those Certain Fans will still blame the Jedi for this/defend Anakin." Sigh.
I usually just scroll past those discourse posts because well, they're just... irrelevant to me. Sure, I can see why people wanna critique them, because realistically the Jedi could have a lot of issues. But this isn't our world, this is a galaxy far, far away, and George Lucas approached it as mythology/fantasy more than anything. The good guys are good because they're good and are nice and help people. Narratively, that's really all there is to the Jedi. Some people like to go deeper than that, or flip the narrative. Me, it's enough. To each their own.
Plus Star Wars has a very unique approach to children being portrayed as being just as capable as adults. Does it work in the real world? No of course not! It's there because it's what makes Star Wars truly for all ages and enjoyable to all. 11-year-old me wrote fanfiction about my Very Mature 14-year-old Jedi OC being a Super Amazing Awesome Smart Jedi Commander in the Clone Wars because I was 11, 30+-year-old me obviously knows I was an idiot at that age and a 14-year-old kid has no business being in a war but 11-year-old me just enjoyed living vicariously through a story/media that didn't treat me like a dumb kid just for being young. I think adult fans kinda forget that aspect and get hung up in "omg the Jedi treat kids awful" when it's a story that supposed to appeal to kids, that's why you get young heroes and heroines. I loved it as a kid. I saw you got a laser sword and never had to get married, sign me the fuck up, and I've been a diehard Jedi fan ever since.
If someone doesn't like the Jedi, cool, us Jedi fans don't mind that... but please stop ganging up on us and telling us we're terrible. Just let us enjoy the Jedi in peace and we'll let you write your discourse posts in peace. Simple.
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𝐢'𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐥. 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐫𝐲, 𝐭𝐫𝐲, 𝐭𝐫𝐲!
[ madelyn cline | cis female | she/her | twenty ] —— it’s just another typical week in hawkins i guess — isn’t that right, HOLLY WHEELER? huh, guess they can’t hear me over LANDSLIDE by FLEETWOOD MAC playing on their walkman, but it looks like they’re headed to CLASS as at ROANE COMMUNITY COLLEGE. did you know HOLLY has been in hawkins for ALL HER LIFE? yeah, they’ve been described as a bit TRACTABLE, but i suppose them also being SOCIABLE outweighs the negative. i’ve also heard people say they remind them of perfectly manicured fingernails twirling blonde hair, still writing in your diary & watching the constellations with exhausted eyes… however, that could just be this weeks newest rumor.
𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐢'𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 '𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢'𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮.
holly is the youngest of the wheeler siblings, aka the the last ditch effort to save karen & ted’s marriage. when they were both fussing over her, they could ignore the obvious problems. having a child was their go-to method to play house.
nancy and mike grew out of karen’s suffocating grip, but never holly. there was no baby following to take her place upon that pedestal. as she grew up, there was always the option to stray from everything as her siblings had before. ted was the first to check out, giving the same aloof front he did to everything else in his life. glances up from his newspaper getting rarer and rarer (but at least she still got them!) it would have been natural for her to rebel during her teen years, but she didn’t. not against her parents anyways.
something that comes with the favorite child territory is the fact she can get away with much more than her siblings. she had her wild child nights in high school bc duh.
karen wheeler is the type of mother to live vicariously through her daughters, and holly lets her. they go to the salon together and she lets mom pay for her highlights. she was part of the popular crowd at school and gossiping with her in place of nancy. going prom dress shopping and running for prom queen.
she’s going to community college now,, which isn’t exactly where she thought her life would be going but she’s a hawkins girlie. she’s never gonna leave her family (even as dysfunctional as it is) she’s also not going to jump into the work force bc that’s worse. she pictures her life as just ending up like her mother. she’ll marry someone and they’ll have kids. she’ll be a stay at home mother. it’s a solid plan.
talking abt relationships. ahh the wheelers and their emotional unavailability. the lack of l words in their relationships. holly is the flip side to it. because ted and karen spent so long showering her with love and trying to pretend they aren’t in a loveless marriage with their newest fix it child, she throws the concept and the word love around.
disclaimer: holly isn’t even half of the bad bitch nancy is. she will not touch gross and/or slimy things. she does not know how to use any kind of weapon. she’s more of a beauty over brains kinda gal. sue her.
she’s had her first glimpse of the strange things happening in hawkins just after will disappeared. it was the nice thing to do, bringing joyce that casserole. everything is a blur. why she strayed from her mother, the monster in the wall, being yanked away just as fast. there was never any proof to what she saw. the wall was completely fine the next time she went to the byers house. will happened to come back from the grave, but that wasn’t the kind of thing you questioned your older brother about.
the fourth of july followed the same theme. this uncomfortable feeling that something was very wrong, but having nowhere to go with it. she believes mike and nancy know more than she does from the way they’ve drastically changed since that first brush with the moving wall, but the wheelers don’t talk. so she doesn’t ask.
part of holly feels that want to stray from karen’s grasp for once. stop taking a backseat to everything she’s so sure is happening in hawkins. on the other hand, she doesn’t want to disturb the peace. while they never had family on the top of their lists, holly hopes that if the wheeler household is peaceful, it will be where mike and nancy decide is the safest place to land when they finally stop running. if they ever do.
𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐧, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭. 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞.
this will probably change i’m ngl. i’m working on a google doc and an actual bio and all that jazz. but this is building blocks to start plotting!! love you all xx also sorry for the lack of proofreading but :/ it’s never gonna happen with me soz
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all sims youtubers want to talk about is cars and fairies, cars and fairies. especially cars cars cars cars cars.
i do not want cars cars cars cars cars. i could care less about fairies. the cars thing in particular i dont understand. sims is not about to become an open world. the most you'll be able to do is drive slowly around your neighborhood. and only in certain worlds (there'd be absolutely no point in doing that in willow creek for example bahahaha). maybe they'll give us a track like the horse racing ones and you can watch the car just go around in circles destination nowhere. for real y'all what are you expecting from a cars pack??? inquiring minds want to know
what I do want ever so much:
MORE INSTRUMENTS. let me make a band. let me be a singer in the band!! expand the singing skill! expand the options on the microphone! karaoke does not cut it! really i just want garage band tho no get famous nonsense. let's busk in the park together. let me play more than just three string instruments x'D flute harmonica saxophone drum kit plz and thank u
more non-American/European locations. they honestly did a pretty decent job on mt komorebi. now how about a world where the beautiful architecture that came in the oasis whatever pack would fit right in? how about a jungle world which is themed around the people who actually live there and not indiana jones.
dine out refresh? uhhh how about REALM OF MAGIC complete redo? like this is the only thing that would sell me on fairies, if it overhauled the magic in the game completely. realm of magic was such a promising yet such an empty pack. I especially hate that your options are "be a nice wizard who cleans things and makes flowers grow" or "be evil," and 2/3 of the spells you can learn are evil spells. and yes your rep does take a hit if you cast evil magic. even if you do it for good (like lighting someone on fire because someone else just hit them with the freeze ray and they're encased in ice... oh you saved their life SO WHAT you still set them on fire you EVIL WIZARD you). like what.
gardening visuals overhaul. I'm stoked about the increased usage for gardening with the cooking skill updates. I just wish gardening looked nicer. the plants that came with base game pretty much look the same. that's why when builders on youtube make gardens and farms they use debug plants to make them look more realistic. the plants that came in cottage living are great. really wish they'd just update all the older visuals for gardening. at this point there's so many cottage-y garden-y games out there that have nice plants and flowers it's like sims y'all can't compete. which is a bummer because gardening is somehow a huuuge part of sims 4. (and while you're at it update the base game food visuals too!!)
rowboats. plus lakes and ponds updated so you can row out on them, and the ability to go fishing on the boat. i think you can on the island living boat?? i dont remember but anyway that boat is too huge for anywhere outside of sulani so how about they just grab one of the many debug rowboats and make it functional. please??? fishing skill would be so much more enjoyable if i could do it in a boat instead of just standing in one spot.
okay my real wish is more boats in general this is really specific but i would buy a boat pack lightning fast. give me kayaking give me white water rafting give me going over a waterfall in a barrel hahahaha. i used to love going out in boats rl but it's now been many years since I had the opportunity. please let me live vicariously through my sims ;_;
new cool rewards in the vein of storm chaser and stuff would be nice...
I know I've made a post juuuust like this before and probably make one like clockwork every time people start going off about cars and fairies cars and fairies. but my wishes, as well as cars and fairies, remain unanswered. so here we are :P
#sims#sims 4#there is so much in the world that its impossible for everything we want to appear in the game i know that but#so much of the whimsy is gone from sims games and the lack of real unicorns in horse ranch is proof#altho if there is a fairy pack maybe unicorns will show up then. i dont really care just saying all hope is not lost for the unicorn lovers#theres quite a divide between realistic packs and fantastical pack which makes it difficult to let them overlap whimsically the way we want#like how come cooking skill wasnt used to flesh out the magic skill!!!!!#herbalism is so pack specific that its a real pain to do!!!!
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When you get this, please respond with five things that make you happy! Then, send to your last ten people in your notifs (anonymously). You never know who might benefit from spreading positivity <3
This is the second time I’ve gotten this so I’ll just answer this and hope for the best
Idek if I’m supposed to directly respond or not but yknow what screw yall
1. My School President (bl drama) - the fixation for the next few months I presume. Very specific because I live vicariously through tinngun. All encompassing btw, includes ost, acting, characters, all the way to fanfics, edit, etc
2. Stray Kids and Tomorrow X Together - both groups mean so much to me, they’re music have helped me through my roughest moments and they still do. I love watching their content and just seeing their smiles really can do wonders for my day. I’m so grateful to have been able to see SKZ live
3. Cloudy days - not very cloudy days, just when there’s like white puffs in the sky, idk why. It just helps seeing the sky sometimes. Helps me feel like the world won’t fall apart just yet.
4. My Taeyong shirt and Heart print pants - I have shirt that has baby taeyong on it and jeans with heart prints on them. this fit gives me serotonin for some reason. No I will not elaborate.
5. Plushie Collection - though I don’t take care of them as much as I used to, I still love all of them with my whole heart. I don’t have room on my table so they’re scattered everywhere. My most recent addition is a is a raccoon plush with a rainbow tail, but I plan to get a new one on Friday.
Honourable Mentions:
- I have the cardigan beomgyu has from that one to do episode. Yknow the green one with bears. Yeah that’s my flex
- a music box that plays edelweiss
- my brother but will never let him know
…is it weird to say I struggled looking for things that made me happy? I’m honestly more of a materialistic person so here we are.
What do you find happiness in??
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When You Fudged Up On The First Day
Do you have that one person in your life that always has to be right? Even when they aren't right they make themselves right. Do you have a real life Nemasis? Have you ever been hurt by other Christian's? Have you ever let someone get to you, to the point you come to the end of yourself? Have you ever had someone hate you without all the facts? Has anyone ever spread rumors about you and though they aren't true, they become true because of who believes them and spread them? If so this story is for you.
One thing I have always liked about the movie Love Actually is that I could identify with the girl that rolled the snack cart around the prime ministers office and other stuff. The reason being is much like her I worried if I had made the right impression upon people.
I have many wonderful memories of serving in ministry, however I also have memories of heart ache and disappointment in my fellow colleagues. I was warned before I moved to the country how social politics worked I had never let it phase me being that I grew up in a large city. I much had the attitude, "Bring It!" and well one day, they brought it. I have many theories why things happened the way that it did but one thing was for sure it was a tatic used to shut me up and break my spirit and make me feel like I didn't belong in a world where you are supposed to belong, right?! Or do we really?! That's a topic for a whole other day though.
The phone rang it was late into the night I had just gotten off from my job at the time The Butcher Shop a local favorite. I worked in the back Bakery and my job was very physically and mentally draining for me.So I was used to coming home much like a zombie eating, and falling asleep either while eating or watching a movie. One time I fell asleep on the phone with my biological mother🤦🏻♀️😂🤣she was pissed, to say the least. So the phone rings and I'm thinking it's my best friend needing a ride to work or the grocery store as her rides were always bailing on her. But nope much to my surprise the asshole had waited till he and his wife and their friends were having some fun to continue the bullshit from the previous day.At first I thought it was my phone stalker ironically enough who had one night called my number by accident and, well, just kept calling every so often I guess to liven my dead ass phone up🤷🏻♀️I do not know, but we had this thing were we bantered each other back and forth,then they would hang up. They usually called back, acted like they weren't there and then they were done for a couple months 🤣😂 They did not believe that the person they were trying to reach was not at that number. This time it was different, I recognized the voice and right off the bat I charged in with a comment about them being tech savvy. They immediately got offended and came at me with a slut comment. Now for some reason everyone in the community thought I was a hoe, the stuff that would get back to me......I mean, who needs to sleep around when your living vicariously through the imaginations of the people around you, it was definitely more interesting then my actual boring life. I had, had it rough been through some things so when it came to that, I didn't let that phase me......I had been hearing it my whole life so to speak. I came from abuse, got left in abuse and walked right into some more, bless my heart, I just had the wrong kind of luck so to speak, it was like the tear jerker that never ended the kind that goes into details about one character for pages or a whole chapter rather.
I didn't like the dude, mainly cuz from the first moment he met me he was judging me with his eyes, the way he shook my hand to the way he realesed his hand from the hand shake.The way he acted fake to me infront of his dad, the way he made sexual advances above my head that I ignored and played dumb. I actually acted like I thought he was for real talking about a clarinet when I really knew what he was asking me and it just sickened me. At that time that's all I knew is that I was like this bond servant going from one dude to another being abused. I over looked the way he was always touching his friends wife shoulder, I grew up in the church I knew whatever you thought you saw or saw......you kept your mouth shut and you acted like you didn't see it or hear it, if you knew what was good for you. I knew there was more to "them" by the way she treated me in private when she took me places and how she twisted things I said around trying to get him to hate me even more.....she knew I had caught his attention unwillingly. Most would think it a dream come true, however I saw right through the wool and what was actually there enough to know it was a nightmare.
My hunches were confirmed when his mother invited me over one time and brought her son up even though that was a subject that was supposed to be off limits. She insisted that we had a past which insulted me, she presumed that my best friend was jealous of her son which would imply that she thought I had liked him and she mentioned that her son was a bully and that in a round a bout way him bullying me and his friends was because he actually liked me and she had known and had favored it more than his present marriage for reasons I can not say. I was sickened.
Back to that night, he was amused with himself that I knew and so he asked me in french if he could suck my cunt and lick my pussy and eat me out since I was acting like one. He was not banking on the fact that for whatever reason I knew exactly what he said and heard it like I was hearing English being spoken to me and said, "No, hell no!" In so many words. The jerk was actually shocked I had rejected him. I could hear his wife and her friend laughing in the back ground, that just made him more mad and everytime I hung up he called back. We played a game on the phone, not by choice because he threatened, It was confirmed it was him, cuz he brought a suitcase to church the next day, just like the deal was in our deal or no deal game. I repulsed obviously, left right after church. Nobody ever heard that part of the story or the fact his worker was the one who gave me his number after refusing to do his job and call and made me do it knowing I was right that it would be me who got in trouble. Nobody ever heard that part ,that for thirty minutes at the first fall fest he and my best friend went MIA for thirty minutes his brother looking for him and me her and years later before a picture was posted she described in detail a tattoo on his body that you wouldn't see unless he wanted you to ... which in the picture he's revealing his tattoo. It always gets twisted that I was the one doing all the calling and harassing, when it was actually the other way around and he kept tabs on me for months after.
I go to another church and this guy finds out about all that and he uses that for his advantage; I was accused of having an affair with the worship leader and he was accused of the same; I was in discipleship program and when I defended both of us rightly so and said that the incidents being acused of were false because I was at work or with this person or serving I was called a liar. That instructor twisted the facts to them protecting her falsehoods and rumours told to her and the fact she was covering up she had been dating a guy and lying about it and making stuff up about me to get me out. By the time my friend attempted to help me fix the problem and lay down the law of I'm not putting up with anymore shit the story had been twisted. They never knew I and he was actually accused of having affairs with each other and flirting. I never once did anything to suggest that, nor did he. I have always thought that's the real reason I was asked to leave because he didn't want to defend my honor like I had his, he used what he had already heard about me and made it look like to everyone....that this was a round two thing.
Interestingly enough Professor M after that has not spoken to him again and they don't do business with each other anymore🤔🧐 curiously enough. Makes you wonder.
When asked one time, before I could ask what I was going to ask he answered and said everything that covered what I was basically going to ask and it offended him to his core that I would even think they spoke.
The truth was, I sent copies of text messages anytime I ever messaged "MJ" I never was alone with him and was always accompanied by another female or someone else. Always! He always put me on speaker phone. At the time we were supposedly friends like family 🙄ya.
I allowed him in like a brother and when he didn't have my back and his wife turned on me knowing I hadn't done nothing but defend myself against lies and then wouldn't let me speak to them the truth and what had been said and just believing lies over me, that hurt. I let her speak to me like I was nothing and he as well like I was nothing. Such snobs and a half.
Sometimes, I wish I could fix my timeline and make it right much like in The Avengers. But then I wonder once people know the truth and you realize that the person you put so much faith in screwed up big time would it be enough for them to recover. Most people want the antagonist to be punished and go through righteous hell, me I'm like no no I've been through the hell and trust me you don't want it....even if it's just. I'm like can we just call a truths?!🤷🏻♀️🧐🤷🏻♀️
The truth is that one person changed my life forever so many bad things happened to me as you clearly saw in third half of this blog, but at the same time I had some good things happen as a result of that event. I no longer just go to church and just take what the person says at face value gosple truth, I actually do the research and open my bible. It made me not want to have sex so while most people in their mid 20s go through that phase... Ya no I was safe and so I look at it kinda like birth control 😂🤣I did not sleep around, I instead tuned into the Victoria gossip channel and laughed at the shit people thought I did. I stayed away from the Desperate House Wives of such and such🤣😂 I eventually quit hating them.
I can already guess what your wanting to know, "Did I ever actually like him?"
The answer is, "no" I never did he reminded me too much of the guy I was best friends with my whole life which means I know what their demons are. He made me want to kill myself and I was almost successful, because of the rumours, lies, making up stuff etc. He never apologized abusive behavior or bullying is not attractive. No. To believe second hand knowledge like it was the gospel truth is beyond me and not even try to research it.
If he ever apologized to me or reaped what he sowed in how he treated me I'm not sure my reaction. But one thing is for certain if you can't love yourself who in the hell else is gonna love you?! So be good and be good to yourself!
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a discussion of jabberwock with team interaction hcs + deeper nash analysis
for anon who asked "Can we get some headcanons for jabberwock members or like headcanons when they're together? (its okay if it was jason or nash only)" and made me realise it's about time i get these guys' personalities down
note before we start: cause i didn't know their names until i wrote this
zack is the bald one, allen is the one with a headband, nick is the other white guy apart from nash.
team hcs
nick gets bullied for being under 6ft, but not by jason
nah good old jason teases all of them for being short fucks, emphasising that they’re all 5ft tall in comparison to him
he 100% lifts things out of the others' reach and then laughs for ages after when they try get them
unfortunately though, they’re all used to this and now just ignore him. either that or nash stares at him so intensely jason actually repents and hands it back
zack’s another one with a very good glare, but he’s used it too often on jason and it’s since stopped working.
also jason gives me ‘straightens his back as much as possible when getting measured so he’ll measure in as 7ft’ vibes
oh and he thinks he could wrestle a gator and win. i’ve got no explanation for that except for the fact you can't tell me it's ooc.
allen’s very protective over his white headband - it’s his lucky item - but he’d never let anyone know that
he’s confident in his abilities like the rest of them, but there’s nothing wrong with wearing a headband just in case
(nash knows anyway)
they watch nba matches together and do not shut up once throughout the entire match - lots of jeering, booing each other if someone criticises a player they like, lots of “i could do that”, lots of “get your fucking hand out of my popcorn do you want me to punch you in the face” etc
they used to all live together, but nash has since moved out. he was sick and tired of trying to make people do chores, as the only one who kept their room clean.
yeah the others’ house looks like a heap of trash but also very much “where’s my toothbrush?” “it’s in the third coke can by the orange peel behind the sink” *silence* “yeah thanks” *a minute later* “who the fuck has been using my toothbrush”
they’re all “bro your dribbling sucks why are you on this team loser” to one another, but also very protective (aka arrogant for one another) if anyone else Dared to criticise one of their teammates
then again, what kind of person would criticise jabberwock
half of the time he spends with jabberwock, nash is a Single Mother TM trying to get a bunch of man children to behave; the other half of the time, he's just as bad as the rest of them
i talk about this a lot but i get the feeling nash is an exceptionally hard worker, but at least he gets to let his hair down around his teammates sometimes
nash is also the only person jason thought was truly ‘strong’ at first sight
and nash is also the only person who can beat jason in a fight, and also the only person who can get nash to train, and also the only person who can.. [etc. you see my point].
(n.b jason calls himself the ‘almighty me’, nash says that ‘even god can’t beat me’. point made.)
you know how jason silver’s motto is “I have never thought”
imagine him proudly stating that, before zack adds with a straight face, “yeah cause nash does it for you.”
in short, the team would fall apart without nash.
although the team’s communication and coordination is very fine tuned, nash is the guy who keeps everything in order off the court to prevent what is essentially a team of aces ('main characters', if you will) from falling apart
they hang out together a lot, but do all have other friend groups that do not overlap
team bbqs
unofficial rule not to criticise anchovies on pizza because the one time nick did, nash snapped
however pineapple on pizza is fair game, even though zack quite likes it
more than once, jason has brought a girl home and nick has stolen her attention away with effortless trick shots, funky ball manoeuvring etc
more than once nick has had to trek to nash’s place (with a black eye) at midnight to have somewhere to sleep
do you see a correlation?
oh and everyone in the team has been walked in on by nash when they were naked with some girl
nash has absolutely no shame
he apologises to the girl with a charming albeit insincere tone, and then remains standing in front of the bed/couch until his teammate does what he expected of them
usually it involves not having come to practice
allen learnt a few (emphasis on ‘few’) words of japanese before they travelled to japan and was disappointed that he never got to use them
that said, one of those words was hentai
and now a quick analysis of some panels
a) so there's at least one player who wasn't underestimating vorpal swords. if i were to overanalyse, i'd add that nick's wearing a hoodie (possibly athletic wear) whilst nash has a 'fancy' shirt on; perhaps nick wasn't expecting them to be going to host clubs instead of chilling/training?
b) i know what you're thinking: "how can you say nash is a hard worker when he didn't want to practice for the match". i reckon he was still pretty high on the complete and utter success of their previous match, that plus being around girls, encouraged him to have a more 'jason-y' personality. (either that or fujimaki didn't want to add too much depth/realism into nash's character bc he's unequivocally the villain, right? and obviously this helps with the plot and the jabberwock bad geniuses gom good geniuses rhetoric.)
earlier, i mentioned how nash is the only one that could keep the team together, and is thus the undeniable head of the team; here's a clear example. you can see both jason and zack have no interest in continuing - if anything, there's disgust in their faces, kinda just saying "we spat on all of japan, now we can go home". whereas nash won't allow for the slightest of possibilities that there might exist a team stronger than them, and hence agrees to the match. the key thing here is that the others do as he says without too much fuss.
another thing to note is nash's reference to harakiri. now what can we make of that, alongside his proficiency in japanese, in relation to his character? the way i see it, he's either a weeb or possibly has some japanese lineage. (you could spin that even further and say his mother was japanese, taught him the language, then abandoned him, and hence his almost excessive hatred/mockery of the japanese people.) (is that why he wanted to do another match in japan..?)
just a quick point. "thanks to him" - jason isn't so superior as to think that he could win this match effortlessly without nash's support. links pretty nicely with my earlier idea about how nash is the only person jason has always considered 100% strong.
yet another point about how nash is the strongest of the team in pretty much every way you can think of. you know how scary/powerful you have to be to shut jason up (after he's getting real pissed from being prevented from scoring?)
i personally think this is a pretty important panel, though i've never seen anyone mention it before. did nash grow up training in a professional basketball training situation, as opposed to growing up playing streetball like i suspect the others did? well, to answer that question, imma bring in another panel.
here we see visible rage on nick, zack and jason's faces - they can't accept their loss, which is fair enough. but i'd argue that nash's face seems to depict sadness more than it does anger like to rest of them, look at how downturned his mouth is - and he's looking away from the 'camera', as if hiding his shame.
when you combine that with what he says here, i have no doubt that this is someone who has experienced some proper lows in basketball - as would be expected from someone who's played 'properly'. he's possibly not even a prodigy like the rest of them - compare jason's motto with his. "i have never thought" versus "do not suppose opportunity will knock twice at your door".
there's various lines of thinking you could design with this - he might have been trained by alex (hence, himuro having heard of jabberwock, though he should have known of a team as popular of jabberwock regardless), he might have grown up with professional basketballer parents etc. but here's my own little theory:
nash received serious basketball training from early on - maybe because his parents were living vicariously through him, or maybe he always loved the sport and wanted to be no1. so there he was training away, but, as he grew older, it started getting all a bit too much.
he didn't want to dedicate his entire life to basketball. after all, his hobby is water sports and his speciality is boxing; that's a lot of different things to be keeping up with, whereas the pipeline for promising athletes demands people focus solely on basketball. as a result, nash become bitter: stopped attending practice regularly, got in trouble for trash talk of increasing severity, etc.
result was he was kicked out of the program.
only when he was no longer playing basketball again, did he realise how much he missed it. and hence he got into streetball, where he was tremendously successful as someone with so much training, 'elite skills', and the overly confident attitude to boot.
then, one fateful day, he met jason and the rest is history.
#jabberwock deserved some love and they got it!#i wasted too much time on this but happy jabberwock sunday everyone#but i did like rereading extra game#it's all about those little details man#jabberwock#allen#zack#nick#nash gold jr#jason silver#knb#kuroko no basket#kuroko no basuke#kirisaki daichi scenarios#hcs#headcanons#extra game#knb extra game#imagines#scenarios#manga panels#mangacaps#character analysis#team interactions
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SF9′s reaction: you comfort them when they are exhausted and upset
Characters: Sweet guys who could only appear in your dreams
Word count: lmao
Genres: Fluff, smut, suggestive smut
A/N: For more works like this one, click here
Hearing the front door open, you called out, ‘’Binnie?’‘, voice distinctly echoing in the walls of the hallway. They were ghostly practitioners because your husband did not answer back. Like you, he had just come back from work, his briefcase already tossed to the side and entering the storeroom turned jacket area, he hung his suit jacket. Unlike his morning attire, his shirt was crumpled from the sleeves to the back and the belt was quickly rounded, thrown into the basket of belts.
You watched him sigh in overall discontent, chuckling at his need to just take a day off and relax. You excitedly stretched your limbs, setting down the numerous take-out fliers you had pulled out. Your eyebrows went up and your mouth puckered in question. Looking from side to side, you wondered, what is the rush?
He had not answered your call but upon seeing you, he lit up, quickly moving towards you as a rabbit would when it is cuddled and gave you a tiny, baby peck on the cheek. You smiled in delight, walking along with him as he asked, ‘’How was your day?’’. You hummed, stating that it was hectic yet good and he agreed with the former point.
‘‘Mine was hectic too’‘ he pouted and you caught his attention with a gentle smile, taking him in your arms and giving him a hug. He settled into your arms, the tiredness looking familiar to you. You were sure that his head was hurting. His expression was similar to when he was in a fucked-out state- hazily staring at you through those beautiful half-lidded eyes, lips slightly parted as he gazed at you, but only this time he was dreaming.
‘‘You know’‘ he whispered, leaning into your embrace. You nodded, wrapping your arms around his waist and leaning into his chest as he rested in the crook of your neck. He did not explain any further, choosing to rest in the silence of your comfort. ‘’We should have some wine.’’ he whispered, hugging you closely. ‘’Now?’’ you asked, purely curious. He agreed and you replied, ‘’How about after we do this?’’, motioning to the bath.
You found it evident that he was fatigued, saying, ‘‘Come with me, I’ll wash your hair’‘. He happily nodded, taking off the rest of his clothes and feeling the stickiness of the day escape him. He felt less stuffier now than when he first entered the house, smelling like the office he had worked in all day. His eyes reflected greediness as he stepped into the water, making you chuckle, pleased that he was looking more handsome than ever and in good shape.
First on your list of things to do was to grasp his face in your hands and kiss him. Passionately, your lips settled onto his, lovingly holding him in place. He was enjoying it, gently gripping at your shirt. Although he had this innocent appearance to him, the strength and endurance he had in his ambition paralleled yours, one of the reasons why you had fallen in love with him. There was little lingering, yet feeling like you could be closer.
Sometimes, you spent your lunch with him, overlooking the pretty white blossoms cornering your building. It crowded your view of the often busy street and sometimes went bald but in your office, you forsook the working relationship you had with him. Sharing your food, plotting the evasion of your higher-ups orders- How could you explain it? It was intimate, fiery and included a tingle of the senses. (Perhaps, all of the senses?)
You wanted to love him over and over again, like watching one episode after the other, late into the night. The two of you were intimately brought together, your feelings escalating when you made love on the bed, on the kitchen counter on a lazy morning or on the sofa while watching some boring movie, sometimes switching fast sex to casual.
He leaned back, hands quickly motioning to you, ‘’Get in here please’’. You laughed aloud, excitement filling your system like blowing air into balloons at birthday parties. He breathed out a sigh of relief as your fingers tangled in his shampoo-filled hair, white, scrubby bits everywhere, some even floating in the air.
He was relaxed, soothed by your touches before he started giggling and playing with the water, running his hands through it and smiling at the ripples that formed. ‘’Should I join you?’’ you teasingly pondering as he pouted at you, maybe thinking, get in here? Please?. Not caring whether you were ruining your clothes, you took them off with your soap covered hands and threw them in the basket. He admired your figure and the way it was enveloped by the warm water.
He welcomed you with extended arms and you straddled him, comfortably settling on his lap. You could not choose what to liken his smile too. You tangled your fingers in his hair, pretending to be distracted because you were unable to to contain the heat that rose to your cheeks that in turn, rose with your smile. You wanted to give him some advice which got pushed back when he began to wander your body, delicately bathing your skin with warm water.
You paused, purely curious as he rested a hand on your ass while you were brought close to him, his lips encasing yours in a touch that evoked a heated response from you. You rose with the kiss, unconsciously grinding your hips against his tip that brushed your inner thigh. You were taken back with his unexpected actions, very much enjoying the effects.
He parted your ass cheeks, arousal flooding to your sex as it was embedded within the two of you. Every time felt congruously new, like a passionate relish of red, plump apples or biting into a ripe mango, feeling the juice trickle into your mouth, encasing your tongue in something watery yet sugary.
He left you little to the imagination: water spilt out of the tub, rippling with fast movements. You threw your head back, heavily breathing, both of you vicarious in the feeling of sounds. You let out soft cries of pleasure while he thrusted his hips up, groaning at the feeling of your walls clenching down on his member. He felt the smooth curve of your ass, grabbing it as he buried himself inside you, kissing every part of your body that was accessible to him as you held onto him, bouncing unrhythmically.
He roamed your body, over and over again. You were lost right now, gasping, moaning, crying out in intimacy as you held onto the tub. You lifted your hip, and then in a quick, repeated motion, you met his own. You could feel him trail your legs as you got off him and faced the wall, hands slipping for grasp as he entered you from behind. He was pleased to end his day with you, to feel you around him, habiting his nearest surroundings. And for you words of advice, he was thankful too.
Today had been rough. Inseong was swamped in how people were treating him, the intentions behind their behaviour ambiguous. So he found it vague to explain it to you or rather, find a label for it. He said that it was complicated and you understood, telling him that many things were hard to justify too, because it didn’t fit the category of direct and explainable. It was the small things that either added up or didn’t.
Then came the pressure that followed such things. The embedded attitudes of people felt relentless. It was similar to an unjustified attack, tiring Seong out from daily routines and schedules. He had informed you of what was going on. When you asked him what his plans were, he simply shrugged, sighed and gave you a smile (keeping hopes up that it would go away). Some things did not go away unless you told them too.
You couldn’t tell him to ‘let it pass’ or ‘ignore them’ because although it did not seem like it, those words were inconsiderate. Instead you told him to stand up for himself, in small ways, like their behaviour. You refused to see him hurt like this- partly defeated and showing easy acceptance of something that could be changed. You did your best to encourage him, lightly scolding him for keeping such a mindset in the first place.
As he sat on the sofa, suit still on and laying exhausted in your arms, nestling into the comfort he found in you, you combed through his hair, wanting to ask him some questions. He mumbled his answers sleepily, not bothering to hide the truth from you, saying it plain and simple. As it should have been told from the start, you heard it, brainstorming of how to combat this. But both of you were equally worn out and so you accidently fell asleep in the living room, waking up hours later in each other’s arms.
The next time, you had come home some hours after him, daylight fading into the distance but the blues had already set in, much earlier than you had thought. You remember entering the house and placing your shoes in the stand. You had placed your stuff in the bedroom, quickly changing into home clothes. All the while, the air was silent albeit the presence of Seong who had already texted you that he had reached home.
You were happy to see him, having kissed him in a hurry to feel him on you unlike the first half of the day when you had so dearly missed him. After a good conversation, he downplayed the events in a deflating manner. The story was malicious and you did not appreciate their insincerity. They had treated him more roughly then before and it occurred to you that Inseong’s tunnel of vision had narrowed. In hope he thought that there wasn’t much for the future but you were infuriated upon hearing his story.
You were still on for fighting back, not hitting the knees or lightly shoving. There was no sugar-coating, making the relay barren but you had wanted him to understand what you had meant. Instilling some fight into him, he had understood, swallowing your advice to find others that disagreed with this type of treatment. To find like-minded people and rid himself of his problem, once and for all.
It wasn’t easy for him but in the coming weeks, you noticed a change- that he was happier than before. He was giddy and you reflected on previous memories, thinking that he had always managed to be happy, those people had just dampened it. Today, you sat with an unopened wine bottle, texting your friends till Inseong came home. And when he did, your phone was flung somewhere (so precious, hopefully on the sofa itself) and he took you into his arms, giving you a hug.
You excitedly returned it back and the familiar thudding returned when you saw him smile, gummy version and lit eyes showing. Although he was tired, he was brimming with energy, agreeing to your proposition of wine and cookies. He rolled onto the sofa, throwing the covers over your thighs and leaning on your shoulders. His legs ached from the walk to get home as quick as possible but it felt worth it.
You gave him a peck, grinning as he cutely leaned in for more. The more you gave into him, the more you smiled from ear to ear. The screen of the television greeted your eyes in the bright light of the living room, heart beat steady as you embraced Seong. Bringing his hair back, you chuckled at his facial expressions that immediately relaxed, taking a sip of his wine in the process. ‘’That felt good’’ he commented, feeling the rumble of your chest as you laughed.
‘‘Including your whole day? That sounds good’‘ you replied, cross-legged as you grabbed a cookie, Seong’s eyes tracing the crumbly deliciousness. Breaking a piece, you plopped it into Seong’s parted lips, smiling at his quick response to the melted chocolate. ‘‘It was and things are looking up’‘ he happily motioned, responded and you listened as he spoke more, entailing you to the details. You firstly felt happy, secondly thrilled that you had won, unanimously.
You could hear someone distinctly coughing in another room, its nature echoing and reverberating and hence catching the attention of JaeYoon as well. He kept silent, not a peep from his mouth when the familiar pain affected his temples, lighting up like red lights around his eyes and cheeks, inciting him to desire a cough.
You watched from your spot at the door, his back hunched and eyes monotonously staring at the screen. You flinched as you thought of the pain of staring into something that bright in a room so dark. As you leant against the door frame, you saw him harshly rub the pain away from his heavy eyes that would not open as far as they usually would.
He looked like he was having trouble looking up, heavily exhaling as he tried to resist the pain. They grew stronger like the thudding sounds of boots against a wooden floor that by the second neared closer to you.
He gets up from the table, his chair scraping against the floor as it is pushed back with sheer force of his anger, annoyance, irritation. It takes him less time than swinging a baseball bat to launch a last-minute defence than to grab the chair he sits on and fling it at the wall. He believes that no one around as he sighs, then shamefully picks it up and sits on it again, reflecting.
You wondered what he was imagining, looking lost in thought. His cheeks turned red like the sunset, a gradient of embarrassment. What he was feeling was understood by his team members and although you were blameless, a part of your decision-making process pricked at your mind. It started to gnaw until you shooed it away, tricking you into thinking that his pain was influenced by you.
You were mindful of your perception of his situation, understanding that if you did not have the full details, you did not have the right to serve him harsh words either. There could have been more to what he had told you because he was an excellent soldier and knew how to weave tales to best fit his situation, even to his team leader.
He knew now that you were at the door, shadow having shifted due to the movement of light. When he faced you, he settled his hair down, even though it already was- a habit he had when he was nervous. He yearned for your comfort like a hug or a few words of advice. It was not selfish of him for it was human desire and unable to breach the relationship he had with you, he settled for your praise whilst watching you from afar.
Under your gaze, he felt nervous but his thoughts overcame him because he felt hardened to the fact that he could not change the past and knew still, that it was useless to ponder over such things. As you scanned his form, the anger he felt was irreplaceable and you felt that you could not soothe him, yet. For the kind of person that he was, you knew that he would pull through.
You made your move to give him time, giving him one last look as you turned back and walked away. Hours later, he must have been calm, rationally thinking of the situation when you saw him in the swimming pool on the roof. Leaning against the wall, he put his phone down upon seeing you enter. You said nothing, his eyes wide and suggesting something that could not be put into a sentence. You expected him not to question and he did not, waiting for you to speak first.
As you slipped into the water, a line of goosebumps trailed your leg yet you entered without flinching, letting a wave of water swallow your body. You were engulfed and while basking in the liquid, you moved towards him, coming together for camellias and carnations presently unknown.
Warm sunlight and the mindless singing of birds filled the air like filling water into a jug. You paddled towards him, watching him stand up straight, eyes never moving below your jaw. He waited and waited till you came to him, till your face was as close to him as two threads sewn one after the other. His system was frozen, back against the wall, water still, only small ripples forming as you moved towards him.
‘‘We can’t let someone know about this’‘ you mumbled, regretfully looking at his confused eyes. His lips were parted in question, words barely coming out as he shook his head in agreement. Unconsciously moving closer to you, you smiled, exclaiming, ‘‘Should I show you the place where everyone goes to take a break without me knowing? And you too apparently’‘.
‘‘Did I read that wrong? Or something? I thought-’‘ he asked, clearing his head and halting your movements when you began to walk away. You chuckled, replying, ‘‘Hold on-’‘. You disagreed as you continued, ‘’No, you didn’t. I just thought it would be better to be somewhere private than here.’‘. He came to the realisation pretty quickly, turning his opinion around at the open space for a lack of privacy or none thereof in the first place.
As he followed you, it clicked to him and he didn’t stop himself from asking, ‘’There is a place where people go to relax?’’. You laughed, pointing to some place beneath the surface of land, carefully opening the door. You marvelled in amazement when it did open, exactly as you were told, your eyes meeting his affiliating gaze based on the way you smiled in wonder. Reflective, you looked around, laughing as you caught each other turning at the same time.
‘‘I don’t know why we haven’t been introduced to this place as yet’‘ you stated, seeing a glint of something shiny in the background.
‘‘I agree and shouldn’t you know about this? Given where it is’‘ he motioned, pleasantly unsurprised, figuring that you had your own place to relax. As he bent down to crawl you responded, ‘’If anyone, I might be the last to know’’, drawing a laugh from the both of you at how true it was.
The entrance was wide, allowing you to swim without hitting the sides. Lights lit the sides and you were met with a staircase, droplets cascading down your wet clothes as you stepped out of the water. Neither of you bothered to comment on the spiral staircase or the enormous dry room, filled with private corners of games, food and drinks.
You stared at with mouths agape until Jaeyoon broke the silence. After finding a place to change into fresh clothes, you met him at the massage chairs, twined in a corner that gave you a view of the doors. ‘’Here’’ you handed him a beer bottle, asking him, ‘’Aren’t you going to switch it on?’’, looking around for a button. He shook his head, popping open the cap between the bend of his arm and taking a sip from it.
Well, you thought, Jaeyoon’s attention turning to the buzzing machine as you relaxed, sighing in content. He was bewildered, asking, ‘’You turned it on?’’ while trying to configure the buttons himself. You met his stare, trying to playfully kick him, exclaiming, ‘’Stop staring at me, turn it on!’’, drawing a laugh from the both of you as he slipped into the darkness of the massager. You were caught in the trap of the machine, its gentle massages turning sinister.
Your bottles were left empty handed as you felt the soothing motions of the machine. The place was appropriately sized for a team of eight people and two people had managed to occupy a small corner of it. You smiled, thinking of the room itself, trying to enjoy yourself in the moment without thinking of anything else. Meanwhile, Jaeyoon was drifting off, pleasantly lost in the idea of starting something new with you.
Sanghyuk leant on his elbow, propped up by the pillow, peering at you with ambiguous eyes. You merely hummed at his offer and a small smile tugged at your lips. This proposition of his always stood, no matter the circumstance. You thought that there was nothing for you to lose but you were wrong. And so you shrugged, tossing the covers aside and getting in beside him.
There was a gap in between, obvious that he was treading the waters carefully. You laid next to him, not touching his arm or leg, perhaps expecting him to pull you towards him. The gap was evident, but only to the both of you. He lingered next to your fingers and you interlocked it, turning on your side as you asked, ‘‘Are you worried about something?’‘
Strands of hair flopped on his forehead as he nodded, taking in a deep breath. In doing so, he swallowed his stress and looked at you. He flashbacked to your features, expressions, mannerisms, recounting them one by one. Your breath hitched as he grasped your waist, pulling you closer till your body was touching his.
There it was. He did not say anything, evident that he didn’t have a reason to be with you today. Unlike his usual line providing you an explanation, he chose to forgo one this time. And he didn’t need to. There had been another fall today at work but he didn’t particularly care about it. Not until he heard you say in that tone of voice, ‘’It’s all the same, it doesn’t matter’’ with that look in your eyes.
It was as if you didn’t know each other that well, that you hadn’t been sleeping with each other all this time. Like he had once heard, there is an emotional component to sex. All he had done then was nod, but then began his doubts and he wanted to know if it was true.
If you reciprocated his feelings. You cleared your throat, removing the strands of hair from his face. ‘’Say something’’ you murmured, and he only replied by caressing your cheek and bringing you closer to him. He wanted your lips, to feel you on every part of his body and for you to pull him close and hold him and tell him how much of a good boy he was for you.
‘‘You look like you’re in a different place today’‘ you continued and he decided that he would tell you. His heart began racing and he got nervous, shifting his line of sight to the ceiling. You sighed in frustration, leaning a distance away from him, removing his hand from yours.
There was no rule that you couldn’t like each other, you were adults and you could sort this out as it happened. But you hadn’t known why you did not speak about it all this time. You had purposely thrown him off these days, either by telling him that you were busy and you couldn’t meet up with him or that you just were not available. And like that, what was in sight was out of mind.
But it hurt you. To see the look on his face was painful and you could remember crying about it once. But whatever your reason was, you wanted to settle this.
Your friend could not understand why you wanted to turn Sanghyuk down. She was in disbelief over his physique and how sweet of a guy he was and the fact that the two of you got along very well. She was proud of you for finding someone whose intentions were good, inside and out. ‘’You need to say something Sanghyuk’’ you said, reaching out for his hand.
‘‘I’m not sure how to-’‘ he started, waving his hands in the air. But he pulled you, planting his lips on yours. And you did this thing with swinging around on your decisions. You gave in, kissing him back. It was pretty, sure, because you had kissed many times. This time, there was a confession leaning over your head and Sanghyuk did not anticipate the fact that you would accept.
You needed to think about it. ‘’Please stop thinking so hard. Tell me. I just want to tell you that I like you. You want to say, ‘’Although, I like you too, it’s complicated’’.’’. It was a gold-mine worth of information which shouldn’t have been worth its value. As you leaned back and told him, he listened and just when you had finished he groaned out a ‘’come here’’ and pulled you into his arms.
In three moments, he told you some statements that began to mean so much more than some cheesy lines written on a paper. Perhaps, when those lines were written, the writer had empathised with the person and then understood the deeper meaning of those lines. You realised that you hadn’t read the text properly, skimping over it. But now, you gasped in awareness, his softness and gentleness bringing tears to your eyes.
He wiped them away, pressing a kiss to each cheek. The two of you laid there in the peacefulness of being in each other’s arms, the threads of your relationships being folded by beautifully intricate knots. When the last hours of the week had arrived, Sanghyuk was so exhausted that he fell asleep in your arms. You had been watching tv as he sat there, persistently asking to eat you out.
You had narrowed your eyes but you then as you looked at him, you remember caving in. The yes was fairly quick. He also moved quickly onto his knees, clearing telling you, ‘’Thank you’’ before he took off your bottoms, propping your knees on his shoulders. You had tugged his hair, making him go faster as your eyes absent-mindedly trailed to his messy nose and mouth.
You had told him how much of a mess he was making and when you asked him if he liked it, he proceeded to giggle. He ate you out multiple times, ignoring the ache of sitting on his calf muscles and only focused on you. You cleaned yourself up, making a mental note to return the favour, in another way as you tucked him into the sofa, throwing your leg over him and falling asleep like a baby.
'’Are you feeling okay?’’ you asked your boyfriend, whose sighing was aimless, less than distinct the fatality of the sound of giving up. He was constantly running his hands through his hair. However, to take the hair out of his face he was met with the bright sunlight that the open curtains let through, shining almost everywhere apart from you.
You were barely covered by the warmth of the high-numbered tog cover. Each part of your body was warming up, leaving with something of an uncomfortable feeling. Seokwoo was rehearsing lines in his head, too many thoughts swarming, not permitting him to concentrate. He was unaware that you were watching him, almost losing him to a daydream.
Attention on him when he discarded his slippers, you pulled the covers over him as he settled into your side. He grumbled nonsense words that made you chuckle, lovingly caressing his cheek, losing your grasp as he smiled. You smiled back, nestling into the warmth of his arms, throwing an arm over him and kissing each eye that blinked in wondersome, secretly glowing with love too.
He laid on his back so that you were on top of him and hence, earned a giggle from you. Looking at you, he softly spoke, not vague in his indication of what he was speaking about, ‘’You know how I’ve been working all these days?’’. It was unfair, that so many people in his profession had to deal with a distinct loss of sleep and fatigue.
You hummed, encouraging him with a nod, understanding that it was building up and today, he couldn’t seem to make it work with what he had in front of him. ‘’I can’t do it- No, I can but I’m too tired right now’’ he continued, heaviness not allowing him to continue.
As he told you the details in a soft, whispery voice and light-heartedly neutral tone, you felt a deep sense of sadness overcome you. You wanted to help him so you told him many things. There was a story of your own work, wrapping the details with a snapping recovery from previously stimulated events. All the while, he listened carefully, not saying a word, occasionally asking a question or too. The latter especially made you smile as you carded your fingers through his hair, laying your head on his chest while speaking to him.
‘‘It won’t be the defining moment of your life, ever. It always feels like it in the moment but when you pass it, you won’t look behind. And when you do, it will be because you have already encountered something so difficult. ’‘ you spoke, peeking at him humming in agreement. ‘‘How much longer do you think you’ll need on it?’‘ you asked and he sighed, lost in contemplation over the calculation of the number of days he would need for this.
You chuckled, grasping his fingers and softly nestling against his cheek, bringing him back to reality. ‘’Should we do something instead? Maybe you can take a break for a little while?’‘ you questioned, thoughts already forming in your head. He lit up at this idea, giving one last look to the work on his desk before you tugged him along to the kitchen.
‘‘It’s good for you, you know. Like it’s good to get out and do stuff’‘ you said with a laugh, flailing your hands arounds to try and get him to understand that you wanted him to cook. You held back your laughter as he stood there with an apron on, utensil tilted at an angle, egg almost about to be whisked and an unamused expression adorning his handsome face.
He had not thought that he would be the one to cook! The pearly whites of your teeth showed as he looked up, sighed, collecting himself while standing in front of the counter, holding in his laughter as he heard yours float the room. He shook his head stating, ‘‘You are so sneaky? When did you even put this on me?’‘ he laughingly questioned, motioning with an open mouth of feeling startled towards the apron that he had no idea how- landed on him.
You whole-heartedly shrugged, smiling as you grabbed a handful of chocolate cereal, dipping them one by one in Nutella. ‘’Give me some’’ he salivated, opening his mouth as you filled it. He gladly received them, moaning in delight, instantly savouring the double-sweetness of the snack.
His cheeks moving in cute, little circles as he crunched, flipping the sizzling pancake. Leaning back, he cleared his hair from his face and you admired his bare face. ‘’More’’ he said, bringing you out of your day-dream. You were watching the way he moved, licking his lips as you asked, ‘���Should we add some Nutella to the pancakes?’’.
He excitedly nodded, saying, ‘’And some bananas and that, what is it?’’, leaving you mid-state as you collected the ripe ones, peeling them open and slicing the softness. You began guessing, ‘’Caramel?’’ to which he replied, ‘’Similar!’’. You were suspicious, adding, ‘’Are you just going along with the first thing I say?’’.
‘‘No’‘ he stated, laughing, even more so when you said, ‘‘Yea, honestly, I can’t think of anything else. What do we have in the house?’‘. The pancake almost burned before you pointed to it and in a hurry he turned it over. The both of you sighed in relief because it could be eaten. It hadn’t been too far gone for it to meet the trash.
‘‘The thing that people drizzle on their- oh! maple syrup!’‘ he exclaimed and it clicked in your head, saying, ‘‘That! Where is it?’‘. He threw his head back, holding back a playful groan, replying, ‘‘I don’t know. I have never tasted it’‘.
‘‘It’s been in our house for decades though’‘
‘’Don’t play. How did it taste?’’
‘‘I thought that it would really sweet you know?’‘
‘‘Uh-huh, like when they drizzle too much and the whole thing is just-’‘ he expressed distastefully with his mouth.
‘’Yea! But it wasn’t. It was kinda sweet and I ended up having some more’’
‘’What did you have it with’’
‘’Bananas and buttered bread’’ and he agreed, salivating in delight.
What a cutie, you thought, getting off your seat to pinch his cheeks and make cooing noises at him, then wrapping your arms around him and leaning into his side. When you looked up at him, he leaned to give you a kiss, beautifully wholesome and restrained, warm breaths exchanging as he comfortably moved against your lips, hands mid-air but lips softly pressing against yours. The pancakes sizzled, crisping around the edges as you softly moaned into the kiss, the thumping of your heart ever present in your ears.
Almost as far as he could grasp the situation, he was also having trouble. The trouble to walk as he would occasionally stumble, he tried not to make a habit of it. He was sweating, mini droplets of blood splattered over the right side of his hair and face.
He chuckled, muttering an incomprehensible set of words as he looked down at his right leg. It was bleeding, viciously. The blood was seeping from out of the wound and staining his trousers and he could feel it. He could feel its pain, jolting out his dream-like state when a car honked.
He was surprised because it wasn’t that loud as compared to other cars. The sound was almost muffled and he smiled, clutching his leg as he continued walking. He shook his head, clearing his mind when he realised that he was supposed to be catching the suspect.
Adrenaline flew through body, almost faltering but he wouldn’t give up. Sweat greatly stained his hair, dampening it to stick to his forehead. He stumbled, catching the corner of a wall to steady himself, and then he moved on. He walked and walked, not giving up and finally, the perpetrator was in sight.
He weakly called out for you to stop. You had just taken a rough turn and although your muscles ached, you needed to keep going. The faint rustling of the detective’s steps and voices could be heard. You ran and ran, the distinct voices of cry ringing through your mind.
You did not hear Zuho at first. He reached out for you in the darkness of the night, lightbulbs then collided with a huge trash can. The noise echoed and you jumped back, struggling to get yourself in the blind spots of the cameras that lined the alley.
Breathing heavily, you glared at the figure that was crouched. You only figured that it was someone drunk or high, until the headlight lit up. You were taken back, your system freezing as you viewed the fatigued face of Zuho. Through the ups and downs of your career that had been impacted by the fall of various democratic powers, the two of you joined the resistance.
In its early stages, when there were hardly many people, you slowly climbed the ranks, proving yourself to be an asset to the growing group. Zuho, on the other hand, remained close by, not desiring to engage in the ranks of the resistance. Instead, you kept your status as his mentor, teaching him how to hone his skills.
He looked after the house that the two of you owned, taking on the role of domestic duties till you came home from work and made love to him. When the resistance wanted to utilise all their people to the best of their abilities, he gladly took on the role of househusband, even if they did not have a job opening for him.
‘‘Shit’‘ you muttered, walking back to Zuho. The bells rang louder, the closer you approached Zuho. His lieutenant’s badge shone in gold and you crouched, desperately telling him, ‘‘I can’t take you back. They will find out about you’‘. He moaned in pain and when you pushed back his hair, you were overcome with the need to kiss him.
You pulled yourself back, watching from the corner of your eyes about the detectives and in that moment, he collapsed. His weight gave way and with a thud, he hit the floor. You decided not to let him die on this floor. You adamantly shouted into your receiver, ‘’Help me!’’. You heard the footsteps rush behind you, pulling you off the floor and pushing you in the direction of the car.
As you looked back, you saw them in a co-ordinated manner pick him up. Getting into your cars, you drove away, your colleague looking back at the soldiers who were scrambling to treat Zuho. ‘’This will fuck our plans’’ he muttered, holding back tears at Zuho’s state. You weakly chuckled, eyes dropping but you fought to stay awake saying, ‘’We will see from here on out’’.
Handling businesses on the ground made you realise that your group had more power than you thought. The workers of the law were corrupt, not all of them though. Some of them fought against these dirty workers and while some slipped into the greediness of money, some held on, even if their hands were burned off. The pain that rotted the city was terrible and you were sure that you had not seen the worst of it.
You were received by medics of a nearby camp and you woke up, shortly before the completion of two whole days. When you woke up, you reported to your boss first, then searched for Zuho. You walked the place by yourself, not wanting to answer any questions. Although, it was nice to know that people still cared for you even after your undercover disappearance for the last six months.
You smiled, pausing when you saw Zuho laying on the bed, saline attached to his right hand vein and catheter hanging on the other side. You showed your badge to the cards and the barcode right above your right hand elbow. As soon as they verified both, you almost slowed down, tracing the board that held his information.
You did your best to hold back your tears, repeatedly blinking, walking and turning around. Clearing your throat, you stood up and shook your shoulders in a motion that was similar to shaking the weight off. You sat back down, leaning on Zuho’s shoulder and grasping his hand, you softly squeezed. The last of your relief washed over you and you desperately wanted the feeling to come back.
It felt good and after so long, you knew that your battles had only just begun. You had made a mistake by bringing him here. But it was either that or he would have died by the time they had gotten him to a hospital past the civilian areas. Zuho woke up, seeing your form peaceful. He was overwhelmed, mouth dry and a groan escaped his lips causing your head to snap up.
You handed him a glass of water, his thirst as a result of the injection he had been given. You smiled, reaching over to place a kiss on his cheek. ‘’Should I just stay with you?’’ he groggily asked, gently squeezing your hand when you smiled, placing another gentle kiss to his cheek. ‘’You should stay’’ you commented, having already chosen a plan with your commander.
It included Zuho and all you needed was his approval on his part. You pressed the button on the control and you kicked your shoes off, joining him. ‘’I was worried about you all the time, you know.’’ you spoke, breaking the peaceful silence. He had been stationed not far from you but you could never see him. Such meetings were prohibited. At the end of every three weeks, you did meet and bask in each other’s warmth in your provided house.
But once every twenty-one days was not enough. He always wanted to be with you but there was the risk of your jobs clashing and interfering with your work plans. ‘’I was worried about you too. It was hard not to’’ he replied, nudging your cheek with his nose. He wanted to reunite with you right now, squeezing your arm as he slid down to your waist.
You connected your lips, running through his soft hair, grasping the back of his head and pulling him closer. Your bodies touched, the warmness exchanging in your own space. You put a hand on his chest, smiling as you leaned back, whispering in his ear, ‘’ We can’t, you have a catheter on’’.
Only for this context was it a moment of finality and his ears almost burned when he groaned, kissing you and leaning back, throwing his head back on the pillow. Your laughs mingled and you patted his better leg, getting off the bed. ‘’Where are you going?’’ he asked, eyes curiously wide and hand reaching for your presence.
You hummed, a bounce in your step as you said, ‘’I’ll go get some food for us’’. He nodded, pausing when you spoke up once again, ‘’I was just thinking of how to pleasure you. Think about it while I’m gone.’’, patting the wall as you left. Upon hearing you, he groaned, letting out a small cry. The catheter was the least of his problems because it was the wound that would take most time to heal.
He smiled at your words, looking at the direction in which you left, thinking, what a person. However, he was filled with an even bigger sense of determination. He would live and see this problem to its end. And then he would buy a house with you and have kids. He could see himself eating the food he cooked and watching tv with them all day, smiling into his dream. Your relationship was never founded from this war anyways.
It was never torn apart because of it and you always stood by each other’s side. He decided that he would fight beside you, taking your guidance and training himself for the final war to come. He imagined a gun in his hand, pulling the trigger over the perpetrators of violence against the civilians he had spent months building trust with.
Taeyang came home bone-tired. His shoulders ached, joints unnecessarily struggling. There was a familiar tiredness in his body, radiating throughout. It seeped into whole wavelengths and he was sure that you noticed it. And it was hard not to as he mumbled something incoherent, resting his head on your shoulder, sighing as he inhaled the smell of home.
Secure was the feeling that surrounded him, the one he realised was the most important after being in this industry for so long. So normal were some things that many didn’t even notice how invading it was. He found that it came from his members, his family and you. To get home after a long day and not be all alone in the house. It was the knowing that saved him from rolling his eyes and falling asleep on the floor.
You awed, snuggling into him. You pressed a kiss to his cheek, hearing him whisper, ‘’I’m too tired, we should go to sleep’’. His stomach garbled, empty from hours of burning and burning, tirelessly or passionately, easy to understand that he had some sort of fire raging within him. All that fire was laying low now, needing fuel to rage. You chuckled, grasping his hand as you asked, ‘’How was your day?’’, leading him to the kitchen.
He nodded, giving you a thumbs up and slumping on the table. You turned around in surprise as he whined a little, telling you belatedly, ‘’There are too many things to do. I have to shower, wash up, eat and then sleep. It’s like there is a never-ending list of things to do.’’. You cracked up at his statement, drawing some chuckles from him too.
‘‘I’m just saying, you know.’‘ he said as you placed noodles in front of him. The smell was enough to wake him up as he perked up, drooping eyes being set aside. ‘’I ate, you go ahead.’’ you said, motioning to his food.
‘’What time did you get home?’’ he asked in between bites.
‘‘Afternoon’‘
‘‘Was it tiring? How was it?’‘, he questioned, slurping the noodles.
You hummed, nodding, ‘’Tiring and we did the best that we could. Anyways, I don’t have to leave until tomorrow afternoon. So, at the office-’’.
Twirling the noodles around, he listened to your story, commenting, ‘’You did it because you thought it was best. The important thing is that now they know. They don’t have questions and stuff.’’
You agreed, ‘’They don’t have questions and they aren’t confused’’, continuing, ‘’The competition is tough, you must be stressed no?’’
‘‘You know what I’m worried about. Although it is the same old, even if we manage to get something out of this, I will be proud’‘.
You wowed, replying, ‘’You should always be proud of your team. It’s not easy wanting something. When your own standards haven’t been met for a long period of time, you don’t realise that you’ve been trying to achieve even the littlest of things.’’
He was silent at your statement, inquisitive to your words, gears turning in his head. ‘’Between the both of us, it will be stronger if it comes from you. Aim higher, this is the real-world so be careful of what you want.’’
‘‘Fair enough, not everyone gets what they want’‘ he hummed, washing his bowl.
Shifting to the bed, he joined you after his shower, bouncing on the mattress with a sigh of content. Like a child receiving their favourite toy, he smiled upon meeting the comforter, its warmth hugging him. You held him to your chest and he snuggled right in, lulling to the way you carded your fingers through his hair.
The night was pleasant, enough for him to kick the covers off, speaking to you with closed eyes, ‘’This competition will keep me awake forever’’. He chuckled, continuing, ‘’I’m buzzing right now’’.
You lolled, ‘’Buzzing? You did the most activity around today and you are still awake? That’s remarkable’’. The comment drew Taeyang to open his eyes who gently poked your side, chuckling as he commented himself, ‘’Are you asleep?’’. You hummed, throwing your leg over him and asking, ‘’What do you want?’’.
He lay awake, pondering over your question and you literally peeled open your eyes to tell him, ‘’Sleep Tae, nothing bad will happen. You’ll feel better after you get some sleep.’’. He turned around at your statement, bringing you closer to him. You were safely tucked away in your fiancé’s arms and the two of you slept until late dawn, only stumbling in the kitchen for some lunch.
He groaned, over and over again. Ever since he had laid down to sleep, he felt nauseous, its grip vice in his stomach and throat. He tossed back and forth, side to side, changing positions to comfort himself. He was alarmed at the sensitivity of his body, aware that something was wrong, but was unable to discern till the last moment that he would vomit.
He released the gruesome contents into the bucket he had prepared mid-struggle. He was scared. He did not want to experience the same thing again. The pain in his throat was like stinging, but from the inside. It was like something had clawed through, letting the marks fester. He kept wondering why this was, it had never happened to him before.
He grasped his head, the pain causing him to fall back onto the bed and close his eyes. Till the pain had passed, he did not move an inch, holding still. The pain faded away and after laying down some more, he picked up his heavy bones and made his way to the bathroom to rinse his mouth.
He called out to you in the darkness, cautiously entering to find you. For the type of person you were, he knew that you’d take action immediately, questions later but he didn’t think that mattered. It was more about the fact that he loved you and felt comfortable in your arms.
He knew that it would be a heavy confession for you, if he ever got around to telling you about it. His feelings about you were big and complex, especially when he was unaware of how you felt about him. You were dead asleep, softly snoring but when a specific word like ‘’Noona?’’ floated in your head, your eyebrows furrowed and you wondered if you were really dreaming.
Waking up with a jolt, you groggily asked him, ‘’Are you okay?’’, reaching out for him in the darkness. He shook his head and you pulled him to sit on the bed, him telling you in reply, ‘’I puked’’.
You awed, pulling him in for a hug. He looked so adorable as he said it, a small pout adorning his face, cheeks probably pink and cutely looking at you. He looked small in this moment and you couldn’t help but bring him into your arms, comfortingly running your hands through his hair while whispering soothing words of praise.
You also could not help pouting yourself, deep sadness spreading within you as you thought of him in pain, thinking, poor baby. ‘’I should-’’, ‘’Huh?’’ overlapped as he quickly got up, starting to regret his decision to come here. You grabbed his hand, pulling him back to the bed. ‘’You can sleep here’’ you motioned, separating your pillows to give him one.
You got into the covers, leaving half the bed for him. He opened his mouth in question and you rested on your elbow, telling him, ‘’If you aren’t comfortable enough, you can go back. Trust me, I won’t mind. It’s all the same to me’’. You cleared your throat, laying back down, regretting your last set of words. He got into the bed, thinking at the same time, Alright, it’s all the same.
After resting for a couple of seconds, you turned around, saying, ‘’I lied, it’s not the same to me’’. He hummed, snapping his head to you, taken aback by your taking back. Exposing his beautiful gummy smile in the near darkness, he replied, ‘’Just to be clear, I feel the same way about you’’. It was shorter than he had anticipated because you had given a response he had not thought would happen.
‘‘What’s on your mind?’‘ you asked and through some small words, it became a better conversation. He elaborated himself and under the softness of the light, you curled up into each other. You snuggled in each other’s warmth, some peacefulness filling this hectic lives of yours. You pressed a kiss to his temple as he slept like a baby, keeping a close eye on his condition throughout the night.
Chani was asleep, amongst the fluffy covers that enveloped his frame from head to toe. Snuggled with an air of warmth around him, insulating him from the slight cold of the autumn breeze, he softly snored in the midst. The clock of his sleep was ticking for almost ten hours now and so peacefully did he look as he slept that you let him be.
After running from pillar to post and staying up for filming, he was undeniably exhausted. His eyes would not open, heavy in their mood and feeling almost like tape held them together. Prying them open, he groaned, catching your attention. The refusal of his eyes were utmost and so he shut them and laid back down, comforting himself on the pillows. You moved from your desk to the bed and you laid a hand on his chest, softly calling out, ‘’Baby?’’.
Hearing no response, you leant over him, giving him a kiss and gently shaking him. You repeatedly whispered your nickname for him, hiding your head in the crook of his neck and snuggling into the warm space. You chuckled as he hazily groaned, words indistinct to your ears, laying a hand on your waist.
You had just finished completing your report, thinking nonsense vacation dreams to yourself of the things you could do if you had time off for the next few days. ‘‘I’m up’‘ he noted, pulling his eyelids open regardless of how much they hurt. When he found clarity, he switched your positions so that he was facing you. ‘’Go back to sleep but I just wanted to know if you were okay.’’ you stated, placing another soft kiss to his jawline.
His cheeks were puffed from having just woken up and he looked adorable. If you had told him that he would have asked, ‘’Why?’’ and tossed his head back and forth in playful frustration. Even then you would have found him cute. You tucked a stray hair back into the softness, admiring his sleepy form, eyes barely staying open as he lingered over you.
‘’I won’t go back to sleep’’ he murmured, making you chuckle, knowing that sooner or later he would lay on his back again and doze into another world. He shook himself awake as you replied, ‘’It looks like you need sleep though’’ causing him to roll his eyes. He hummed, throwing a leg over you and nestling into your neck, probably still in the state where he felt as if he was dreaming.
You kissed his neck, peppering a trail of light kisses in the same area, combing through his hair. He could feel the touch of your lips leave a trace of warmth on every spot, gently urging him to wake up. After a couple of minutes, Chani inquisitively asked, ‘’How long was I asleep for?’’ startled at the answer you gave him. He poked his head out from the crook of your neck, staring at you with open eyes as he registered the double-digit number.
‘‘I had work to do...’‘ he said, trailing off. After two seconds of debating, he plopped back into your warmth, deciding that he could do it later. Lightly pushing his shoulder emitted a groan from him, one that resembled ache. Plopping on his back, your giggle turned into concern as you asked him, ‘‘Are you feeling okay?’‘.
‘‘My back hurts, and legs too.’‘ he nodded, playing with strands of your hair. You hummed, asking, ‘‘Do you want me to give me you an oil massage?’’. He perked up at the idea, graciously kissing you and telling you that he would return the favour.
As he sat on the bed, you admired his toned back. Squirting a bit of oil onto your palm, you rubbed your palms together and at the first touch, he relaxed. You brought both your thumbs together, rubbing in circles and squeezing the ache from his muscles.
He moaned in delight, hands on knees as he lost himself in the pleasure. It was like the pain was evaporating from his overworked muscles. You chuckled at his noises, his soft whines escaping when you touched a particular part in the middle of his back. When you were done, you grasped his face and kissed him passionately.
His hands wandered around your waist, tugging at the hem of your top. You giggled in delight, breaking away from the kiss, meeting his eyes. He grabbed your legs that had been straddling his waist and leaning back from planting another kiss onto your neck, he asked you, ‘’Should I do you?’’.
You squealed as he tossed you on the bed, motioning to your top and as you took it off, he began his lustful descent, starting by him dragging the whole thing out, leaving you in beautiful shambles.
#sf9#sf9 imagines#sf9 scenarios#sf9 writings#sf9 fluff#sf9 fanfic#sf9 reactions#sf9 requests#sf9 smut#sf9 fantasy#youngbin#inseong#jaeyoon#dawon#rowoon#zuho#taeyang#hwiyoung#chani#sf9 x reader
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What Happens in Vegas...Doesn’t Always Stay There - Jacob Markstrom - Part 1
Word Count: 4,885
POV: Reader
Warnings: NSFW, Language, Smut, Drinking (all the good stuff)
Notes: Well here it is the new fic that’s been in my head. I tossed around a couple different guys for this, but some of you suggested Marky and well looks like it stuck. Trying to do this a little different and keep this in an all read POV, so we shall see how that works. I don’t see this being super long maybe between 5 or 6 parts. Hope you guys enjoy. As always feedback is welcome. Happy Reading!
They say that New York is the city that never sleeps but whoever 'they' is, well, they got it wrong. It has to be Vegas. Lights are always flashing whether you were indoors or out, the jangly sound of slot machines can be heard at all hours and the seven deadly sins seem to be on full display twenty-four hours a day. It's no wonder their tagline for years was 'What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.' If only that were true.
You wish you could blame someone else but you can't. Vegas was all your idea. As maid of honor, it fell to you to plan your best friend's bachelorette party, and in your mind, there was only one spot, Vegas. Now, you were second-guessing your choice as your head was pounding like there were a thousand drummers who decided to perform at the Super Bowl halftime show, only in your brain. There was only one thought that made it through the marching band playing in your head. What the hell happened last night?
Maybe you should start off small, like where were you first, considering that the little drummer boy was now doing backflips in your head. You were definitely in bed, which was evident as you could feel the mattress underneath you. You could also feel the duvet comforter covering your body, but there was something else. Something a bit heavier, almost as if a weighted blanket was covering your stomach and your breast, but it wasn't that. It was an arm slung across your midsection and a very large hand cupping your one boob. God, you hoped it was still attached to a body. You should really take a peek. It would be the only decent thing to do.
As you gradually lifted one eyelid open, the first thing you noticed was that you were not in your hotel room, as the wall looked completely different. No reason to panic, you told yourself. Everything would come back to you as soon as this god blessed pounding ceased. Peering the other eye open, you got back to business at seeing if there was a body attached to the arm currently trapping you to the bed. Carefully, you turned your head to the side to see a very large and very naked man firmly attached to the aforementioned arm. He was gorgeous as he lay there sleeping ever so peacefully. You drank in his features, kind of like you downed drink after drink last night. His brown hair had this golden hue to it that made your fingers want to reach out and touch it, though you refrained. Then there was the beard covering his face, not too much and not too little, and now that you were thinking about it; you definitely felt some of that beard burn on your thighs. If you could only remember last night. The only logical thing to do was to go back to the start of this, back to a time when you were sober.
It started months ago when your best friend Kennedy got engaged. You honestly didn't see it coming that fast. She'd only been dating Ryan for a little less than a year, but he asked and she said yes, and when she asked you to be her maid of honor you screamed and laughed and cried, and told her you couldn't wait to plan her bachelorette party. Everyone knew the bridal shower was only for boring stuffy old aunts so that they could buy her the latest air fryer or new dish pattern. The bachelorette party was where all the fun was, and what better place to have it than Las Vegas.
Of course, everyone agreed with you. The only wrench in the plan was that Kennedy decided to up her wedding date and make it a nine-month engagement. That barely left time to find a dress let alone plan the most outrageous bachelorette party of the century. You would've said decade but twenty-twenty was fastly approaching. Thankfully, you had connections. Night one was more sedate since you all were just arriving at the MGM hotel at different times; eleven of you in total when Ryan's sister decided to join at the last minute. You booked a private room at Lago in the Bellagio for all of you to enjoy.
It was the second night, that was the piece de resistance. A limo picked you all up and took you over to Excalibur to see the legendary Australian group, Thunder from Down Under. I mean what was Vegas without seeing a male stripper or two. The next day, a private bungalow was waiting for you at Wet Republic in the MGM Hotel. One would've thought the night watching men strip naked would've been your undoing but apparently, it all started poolside.
"I seriously can't believe he pulled you up on stage and proceeded to dry hump you up there," Kelsey rehashed.
"Really, Kels?" Kennedy said downing another mimosa. "How could you not see that happening? (Y/N) has known Nate for a couple years. I mean he did get us front row tickets." This was all true. Nate, the emcee for Thunder from Down Under and you were friends, had been since your firm had done their calendar shoot two years ago. He had generously given you prime seating to the show that night and also set you up with a few other perks for the trip. "The only thing I'm surprised at, is that this one," she bumped you with her hip, spilling both hers and your mimosas. "Didn't end up going home with him last night."
"Oh my god, Kenny you did not just say that." She may be the bride and your best friend but really, she was pushing the line.
"Come on, it's not like it hasn't happened before."
At least four pairs of eyes turned towards you, Ryan's sister Gretchen being one of them. "Ok, admittedly, I slept with him, once." Both Kennedy and Kelsey gave you that look. "Ok, maybe it was twice, but he has a girlfriend now, and we are just friends."
"I'll give you that," Jade spoke up in your defense and suddenly she was going to earn the title of new best friend, not that the lines weren't blurred in your little group as you were all sort of best friends. "But what about Edward, the one with the turtle tattoo on his hip."
"You were so looking at more than his hip." Eva teased while Jade simply hid behind her champagne glass. "But yeah (Y/N), he was totally hitting on you."
"He was not."
"Oh, he was," Kennedy added her two cents. "And as the bride I take offense, they should've been hitting on me."
"Wait, why would they hit on you?" Jade sputtered. "You're taken bitch." Of course, bitch was said in the most loving way.
"I'm not dead."
"No, but I'm sure my brother wouldn't appreciate it." Leave it to Gretchen to be the mood killer. "I think I'm going to go take a nap. I'll meet you at the pool later."
She headed out the door, and honestly, you were ecstatic about it, for she was too judgmental for your liking. "Wait, Gretch, that's not what I meant."
"Leave her go, maybe a nap would do her good." They were Jade's words but your sentiments. "Now back to why (Y/N) did not take that beautiful man up on his offer last night."
"There was no offer," you insisted.
"Come on (Y/N), there was an offer. There's always an offer. Remember when you were doing promo for that Batman flick." You tried to shut Kennedy up with a death glare, but she continued to prattle on. "We all know you ended up doing the nasty with Superman."
"WHAT?!?!" Yeah, that definitely came out of the other nine people's mouths in the room.
"Thanks, Ken. No one knew that but you."
"Oops, my bad." She had the grace to at least be embarrassed about the whole thing.
"You mean you slept with that guy, the British one, tall, all muscular, extremely good looking. Damn it what's his name." You could see Eva wracking her brain for his name and you just didn't want to go there.
"Hen…"
"Yes, him," you admitted, stopping Jade before she could finish his name. "Can we please change the subject?"
"Why, when we are all living vicariously through you," Kelsey added. "Especially poor Kennedy, who is now committed to spending the rest of her life with one man."
"Geez, you make it sound like a death sentence. I love Ryan and I'm perfectly fine spending the rest of my days with him."
You had to suppress an eye roll. Not because you didn't think that Ryan and Kennedy weren't in love. If you were being honest, you just thought they were rushing things a bit. The problem was telling your best friend that; you tried in the past and never succeeded. "We know you're in love Kenny." And then because you couldn't stop yourself, you added. "It's just are you sure you want to be tied down so young? We still have our whole life to live."
"Jesus, (Y/N). We all know you're not ready for marriage and what comes with it, but we can't all be you with your fancy job in LA, meeting celebrities all the time. Some of us have real lives and want to settle down and have a family."
"Kenny, that's not what I meant." The last thing you wanted to do was argue with her at her bachelorette party. "I only want you to be happy."
"You have a funny way of showing it." The air in the room took on a chill and not from the air conditioning. If you didn't do something soon this party was going to go downhill.
"Oh, would you look at the time," Jade chimed in. "We should probably be heading down to the pool." Everyone grabbed their stuff, Kennedy giving you the cold shoulder as you made your way out of the hotel suite. Jade came up and wrapped an arm around you. "She'll be fine. She's just on edge after the whole Gretchen thing. We'll give her a few shots and you two will be good as new."
"I hope so." Unfortunately, things weren't fine. Kennedy seemed to avoid you and your attempt to make things right, even after a few shots. That didn't stop you from taking a few more. You had a strict one drink to one water rule, that you threw out the door today. Downing shots like it was your job. It was probably an hour later when you were in one of the private pools, with a few of the girls that a large group of very attractive men walked in. They were definitely different from Nate and the guys from Thunder, and at first, you thought it was some fraternity get together with how young some of them looked, but at second glance there were some gentlemen that were your age or older.
"They've gotta be baseball players," Eva whispered over after they took up residence in the three bungalows next to you.
"Nah, none of them have a dad bod." Jade was right, they were too fit to be in the MLB. You'd been around enough major leaguers to know while some were incredibly in shape, some were not. That didn't seem to be the case with this group.
"I'm gonna rule out NFL as well," you told the girls. "None of these guys look like they're an offensive guard. Those guys are huge." You noticed a few of them staring at the six of you that were in the smaller pool reserved only for the bungalows. Grabbing another shot, this had to be your fourth in just sixty minutes, you downed the drink really starting to feel its effects.
"Looks like we may just find out here," Jade said, nodding to let you know some of the guys were headed your way.
"Ladies, care if we join you?" One of the men asked, you had to admit he was extremely handsome but also gave off an air that he had more than a few notches in his bedpost.
A couple of the girls nodded, but when no one said anything, you found yourself saying, "Come on in."
"So, what brings you to Vegas?" This from a different guy, who had quite a number of tattoos covering his arms, and you had to admit that the ink just made him more attractive, that and his height. He was well over six feet tall and you didn't mind looking up to see his face as he took the seat next to you.
"Bachelorette party," Jade blurted out and you saw a few eyebrows raise.
"Tell me you're not the bride?" His breath was warm or maybe it was the sun, either way, you definitely felt a warmth in your belly that wasn't there moments ago.
"I am definitely not the bride." Shit that sounded desperate. "Though I am the maid of honor, at least I hope I still am." You looked inside the bungalow to see Kennedy in deep conversation with Gretchen.
"Hmm, sounds like there's a story there. Care to tell me? I'm Jacob by the way, though the guys call me Marky."
He held out his hand, the one that didn't have a beer in it, and you took it. "(Y/N), and I'll tell you though it's rather dull, on one condition." He quirked a brow at you. "You tell me what sport you play."
He chuckled. "What makes you think I play a sport? Maybe I'm an investment banker."
"Well, first there's your accent, though I suppose you could pull off investment banker with that. Second, you are all…how shall I say this…physically fit. A quality most athletes have and considering the number of you; I doubt this is some kind of investment banker convention."
"Ok, I'll give you that, though we could be bodybuilders or…" the lights on the billboard on the strip changed to a Thunder From Down Under ad and you saw a light bulb in his head go off. "Or male strippers." Shit, you almost spit your drink out on that one. "What, too much a stretch? Maybe it's your lucky day." He started to sway his hips in the pool, one of his friends joining him while you and Jade tried to contain your laughter.
"Nah, it's already been (Y/N)'s lucky day with them. She knows them all rather intimately."
"Jade!" you yelled at your friend, or ex-friend, though you weren't in a position to be losing anymore at the moment.
"Oops." She at least had the decency to look embarrassed. Alcohol made everyone do some crazy things and Jade was no exception to the rule.
"Intimately huh?" Jacob asked as you splashed water on Jade causing her to shriek and hide behind Jacob's friend who you learned was someone named Erik. "Have I lost the competition before it even starts?"
"There's no competition."
"So, you're single then?"
"Yes, though you still haven't answered my question." As soon as Jacob heard you say yes, he slid a little closer to you.
"What was that question again?" He said with laughter in his eyes and before you could get annoyed with him, though you doubted that would happen, he added. "I remember, just giving you a hard time. Anyhow, we play hockey."
"Oh, nice. Like professional level? Or are there minors in that sport?" You really weren't one hundred percent sure. You'd taken in a game here and there but not really paid any particular attention to it.
"We're in the NHL, playing for Vancouver. Just came out to do a little team bonding before the season starts. So, are we going to talk about this intimate encounter or why you think your maid of honor duties are getting revoked?"
"I think I need another drink to talk about either of them."
Jacob flagged down one of the personal waitresses for the area, requesting a couple of shots and drinks for you both, and you had to admit you liked the way he worked. "Now that that's taken care of…"
You blew out a frustrated breath, more with yourself than anything else. "I said something stupid right before we came down here." He kept silent, his eyes totally focused on you and what you were saying. A refreshing change from some of the men you spoke to. "I just think she's rushing into things. They've only known each other a year and we are too young to get married. She's only twenty-five, we have our whole lives ahead of us. You know?" He simply nodded his agreement before you continued. "I want to see the world, go places, and do things before I'm strapped down to one man forever. Not to mention being tied down with kids. How can Kenny not want that too?"
"I totally agree. I've gotten to see a lot with hockey but there's no way I want to be tied down just yet."
"Exactly, you totally get me." Your drinks arrived then and Jacob took one shot and handed it to you before taking the other.
"Well, I say we toast to being young and free with no commitments."
"I'll drink to that." He clinked his glass to yours and the two of you downed the drinks. It seemed like the DJ noticed the change in your mood, as the music got louder and the energy seemed to kick up a notch. You got up and started to dance in the pool; the other girls joining in. It wasn't long before you felt Jacob behind you. His hips grinding into your backside, as his large hands encircled your waist.
Drinks flowed freely the entire day, and if you were being honest, you couldn't remember a time you'd been that drunk before the sun had even set. You were laughing and dancing, and quite literally having the time of your life; your maid of honor duties completely forgotten at this point. Gretchen came up to you at some point and told you that she, Kennedy, and Kelsey were heading up and would catch up with the rest of you later. Everyone else was having too much fun with the Canucks to want to leave.
A few more drinks and an hour later, the party was winding down. Most of your friends had headed up to their room to pass out, only a few stayed behind. Jacob had somehow maneuvered you into one of the bungalows that was empty. You shared a few kisses here and there out in the pool area, but now that you were out of view of prying eyes things were getting a bit more heated. Jacob's hands were on your ass, as his tongue was down your throat; not that yours wasn't doing the same thing to him. He moaned into your mouth, the sound going straight to your core. Your bikini bottom was no longer wet from the water of the pool, but the press of Jacob's cock against it.
You both stumbled back, landing down on the large daybed in the bungalow, though somehow Jacob's reflexes softened your fall. His hands went straight to your breasts, kneading the flesh there. He was just about to untie the string of your bikini top when someone walked in. "Jesus, Marky! Take it upstairs would you!" You squinted trying to make out who it was but at this point not remembering anyone's name besides the man that was on top of you.
"Oh, shit…thought I was in my room." It was funny, you thought the same thing. "Sorry, Jay."
"His name is Jay? Like the letter?" you mumbled as Jacob helped you off the couch. "What comes after J?" Fuck you were drunk and when you were drunk you tended to ramble. You once actually talked to a damn parking meter because you thought it was a person, and you were pretty sure you could talk to one now if there was one around.
"Doesn't matter, babe," Jacob said kissing your lips. "Wanna head up to my room?"
You had to go up on your tiptoes to loop your arms around his neck. "Yes, I do." He planted a kiss on your lips then cupped your ass cheeks causing you to jump a bit.
"Let's go," he finally said breaking the kiss. You had enough sense to grab your things and tell your friends not to worry that you'd catch up with them tomorrow. They all winked and nodded or at least that's what it looked like in your head because that's when things started to get hazy. You had vague recollections of making your way through the casino, stopping here and there. Part of you thought that the two of you even stopped to play roulette only so you could have another drink.
You did remember tumbling through the door of Jacob's suite. His lips were on yours and neither of you were paying attention as he unlocked it. Thankfully his quick reflexes caught you; apparently, even when drunk, goalies couldn't lose some of those natural instincts.
His hands, you remember them being everywhere on your body, and how incredible they made you feel. His calloused touch lit a fire inside you, that had nothing to do with the alcohol. He rid you of your white swim cover-up easily, flinging the garment across the room, and then his lips were all over your body. It was easy to recall the way he made you feel, as he softly bit down on your nipple through the fabric of your bikini. You'd craved this all afternoon. It had been a couple months since you'd been with a man and Jacob was everything you'd been waiting for.
You ripped off his shirt. Your hands immediately going to his chest and roaming down his tattooed arms. He was all muscle, hard and lean everywhere, but when you slid your hand down inside his swim trunks to his cock; oh, it was hard all right, but lean was not a word you'd used to describe it. You were barely able to wrap your fingers around his girth, and as you stroked him, you realized God had not only blessed him with height but length as well. The man was made to star in a porno, you thought as you shoved his trunks down.
Somehow, during that time Jacob had managed to get your bikini top off, though you supposed with its simple string ties it wasn't a hard feat to manage. You dropped to your knees, licking your lips before taking your tongue and swirling it around the head of Jacob's cock. "Det kanns sa bra min vackra prinsessa (that feels so good my beautiful princess)." Jacob's mumblings had you pulling back and looking up at him. "Don't stop, baby." This time you knew what he said as you slowly sucked him into your mouth. There was no way that you could take him all in, so you pumped the rest of him with your fist. You hollowed out your cheeks as you sucked him inside, using every trick in the book you knew. Jacob muttered more in Swedish to you, things you had no clue as to what they meant, but judging by his reaction they were things he was enjoying very much. He threaded his hands through your hair, pulling it back so you could look up at him with big doe eyes. "Jesus," he swore, his hips bucking into your mouth at the sight of you with his cock in it, looking like that. After a few more thrusts, he pulled out shouting," Tillrackligt, enough. I think you're trying to kill me, princess."
There was something about the way he called you princess. It wasn't anything you'd been called before and most times you'd preferred babe or baby, but the way the word rolled off his tongue did things to your insides.
Jacob helped you off the ground, his lips ghosting over yours before picking you up and tossing you onto the bed. His large form handled you easily, arranging your body just the way he wanted to before slipping off your bikini bottoms. His large hands worked their way from your ankles to your calves, all the way up to your thighs; spreading your legs as he went. "So beautiful." He traced his fingers lightly over your pussy lips and you quivered in anticipation of what was to come. One long finger slid between your folds all the way up to your clit, once, then twice, and then once again. "So wet, prinsessa, and all because of me."
"Mmm, yes, Jacob." He dipped that same finger inside you then. The digit slipping in easily and so he added another. Then his mouth was there. Tongue flicking over your clit in a way that made you squirm with pleasure. "Oh yes," you moaned, caught up in the pleasure that was coursing through your veins. "Just like that." Your hips lifted up on their own accord, seeking more of what this giant of a man was doing to you. Jacob never let up, making a come-hither motion with his fingers and you found yourself unraveling around him; legs shaking, breath panting as your orgasm overtook you.
“So pretty when you cum, prinsessa.” He pulled his fingers from your pussy then brought them to your lips. You opened without any thought, licking your juices off of them. Before you could get them clean, Jacob’s mouth joined yours, kissing you while you sucked on his index and middle fingers. Your tongues mingled together, as Jacob positioned himself between your thighs. The head of his cock nudged between your folds and you sighed into his mouth at just that first touch. Slowly, he filled your pussy, until he bottomed out. Only then did he release your lips. “Fuck you feel so good.”
Jacob loved the feel of you clenching around him. It felt like he was in heaven. Part of him didn’t even want to move that’s how good your body felt, but then you shifted your hips up just a hair bit and he had to suck in a breath at the pleasure that went straight to his groin for fear he would spend inside you right then and there. He willed his body under control and only then started to move.
With every snap of Jacob’s hips, a wave of pleasure crashed over you. Your nails raked down his back, probably leaving marks, but it seemed to only spur him on. “Yes, Prinsessa,” he moaned out, as you bent your knees allowing him to go deeper. You moaned as he hit that treasured spot that had you seeing stars. “You like that?” Another moan was his answer, as he continued to fuck you.
That peculiar feeling started to wash over you. Your pussy fluttering around Jacob’s cock as the orgasm finally broke. Back arching, legs trembling, you were moaning out his name as the climax seemed to continue, as Jacob drove wildly into you. As you came down off your high, Jacob found his. With a few erratic thrusts, he was spending deep inside you with a loud groan. He slumped forward, his sweety forehead resting on yours. “Det dar var otroligt.” You looked at him curiously, your brain not working at all but also knowing he was speaking something in Swedish to you. He smiled, a glorious one that you found yourself getting lost in and you found yourself returning it. “I said that was amazing.”
“Yes, it was,” you breathed out. Jacob rolled you both onto your sides, tucking you into his. It wasn’t long before both of you were passing out.
Now here you were, finally putting most of the pieces together from last night. You looked back over at the sleeping man, who had given you such pleasure even in your inebriated state. He really was gorgeous. You honestly wouldn’t mind going for round two, after a couple of Tylenol, of course. Speaking of which you needed to get up and see if you had any in your bag. If only you could move him without waking him. You carefully took your right arm and went to move his left which was slung across you, but then something caught your eye. There on his ring finger was a ring. Oh, it wasn’t just any ring, it was a wedding ring! You knew he didn’t have it on when you were in the pool. You were not the type of woman to go hitting on a married man, let alone sleep with him.
You pulled your other arm out from underneath him, fully intending to grab your stuff and get the hell out of there when you noticed a bright and shiny diamond on your ring finger. There was also a matching wedding band. Then like a tsunami hitting the beach of a small island a memory came flooding back to you of the two of you entering the hotel chapel. This man wasn’t married to just anyone, he was married to you!
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#jacob markstrom#jacob markstrom smut#jacob markstrom imagine#jacob markstrom imagines#nhl fanfic#nhl imagine#nhl imagines#hockey smut#nhl smut#hockey imagine#hockey imagines#hockey fanfic#what happens in Vegas series
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Just Another One
Sequel to: ‘A Little Bit Of Honesty’
Corpse Husband x Actress!Reader (Female)
Warnings: Angst, Heartbreak, Mention of bad past relationships, Swearing
Genre: Angst, Romance, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: They keep proving each other right in the most wrong ways possible. They each want to be guarded even if that means the other will be hurt. Maybe that’s what they want - to hurt one another because they’ve already hurt each other once before.
Requested by the lovely readers who enjoyed the previous fic ‘A Little Bit Of Honesty’. Sorry for the large time gap between the posting of the two fics but I still hope you guys will take the time to read it and if so I hope you enjoy it! Love you all with all my heart, Vy ❤
When you go out of your way to avoid leaving the house your options of entertainment are severely limited and you can’t blame anyone or anything but yourself for it. Today, I wouldn’t have gone out of my apartment even if I was one of those people who frequent the outdoors seeing as how the sky is trying to flood the Earth with all this nonstop rain. It does set a mood for a perfect night in but when you spend all your nights in doing the same thing over and over again, the atmosphere is practically meaningless. And so I ‘ve decided to resort to channel surfing as though I’ll find something interesting on TV that I haven’t yet seen on one of my social media timelines.
I pass several cooking channels on my journey, making a mental note of their individual numbers in case I don’t stumble across anything capable of better distracting me from my boredom and loneliness that’s slowly starting to creep in. I pass by a few movie channels showing teenage romcoms as if to celebrate the start of summer so you can imagine how quickly I moved on from those. Then come the celebrity channels which can often get a laugh out of me because of how pathetic and unbelievably ridiculous they are. And so, I stick around one where there’s a broadcast on a movie showing that’s happening tonight in LA. Oddly enough, despite my anxiety, going to a movie showing has always been on my list of things I’d want to do. This can be considered living vicariously or rubbing salt into the wound that I’ll probably never go because my anxiety and fear of being recognized is too severe. Either way I stick around to watch it.
And man do I regret it now looking at several different angels of a couple of actors entering the venue where they are to be photographed and asked questions by the mob of paparazzi that’s gathered due to the massive event. That in and of itself doesn’t sound - and really isn’t - so bad. However, it’s important to note that the actress in this duo is Y/N. Y/N L/N. My Y/N....shit, sorry, I mean my FRIEND Y/N, her arm linked with whatever-the-fuck-his-name-is who is holding an umbrella above the both of them, shielding them from the downpour of rain that is also taking place in LA apparently.
“The two were seen entering the venue earlier this evening, looking particularly cozy in each other’s presence if I do say so myself. The rain probably worked nicely in their favor.“ The first reporter says, her teasing tone of voice sending chills of anger down my spine as I glare at the screen, hands balled in fists, jaw clenched - all my body’s instinctive reactions to what is being shown to me. I know I technically have no right to behave or feel this way, in fact I should be fucking happy for Y/N and her successful career and the progress in her love life. But damn it how can I?! I was so damn close to kissing this girl! I was so fucking close to falling in another trap, tripping and landing in the embrace of another liar and user, another girl who switches partners more often than shoes. How could I’ve been so reckless to get so close to her even platonically? How did we become close enough for me to 1) show her my face; 2) start inviting her over to my apartment regularly; and how didn’t I notice the kind of messed up person she was all that time.
She was all sweet and flirting and shit a week or so ago and now she’s doing the exact same thing with him! The cameras are capturing them perfectly: every laugh, every exchange of a knowing look or nod, ever smack to his arm when he tells a joke. But what bothers me most is the many times he’s wrapped his arm around her to pull her closer. Not just for pictures, but just because the fucker felt like it! And Y/N doesn’t seem to mind it at all.
“They have been the talk of the town recently, so while they could just be adding fuel to the fire, they could also have been caught by the flame and ‘caught feelings’ as they say. Regardless these two are a view we’d like to see more often.“ The other reporter says and that’s the final straw.
In one swift motion I turn the TV off and throw the remote across the room. It hits the wall and falls to the ground in several pieces, broken by the force of the impact. Just like I am broken by the force of the impact of these news. I don’t know which is worse: the fact that I fell for her and almost let her know it; the fact that she’s just another member of the club I don’t want anywhere near my life; or the fact that I can’t believe it.
Yeah that’s right - one foolish part of me refuses to believe that’s she’d do such a thing. I think that’s the same part which is still in awe of her so you can bet I ignore that part the majority of the time.
She is just another one. Not the one. Having been hurt before doesn’t mean she won’t hurt me or anyone else she’s gonna be with. Hurt people hurt people.
And damn has she hurt me, probably without knowing a damn thing. How selfish can you be, Y/N? How selfish can you really get? And how much am I going to allow you to hurt me?
* * *
“Thank you so much, Andrew. I would’ve died on the spot of anxiety if I was on my own.“ I say to my best friend who is currently sitting next to me on a park bench, in a tux, eating a cheeseburger. I too am still in my gown and am also gorging on a cheeseburger of my own.
“Don’t mention it. Us anxious people need to stick together.“ He bumps his shoulder against mine, stealing a small genuine smile from me, “Plus I couldn’t not come with you. You know how much I like a good rumor.“
I scoff, “Of course you do, but then again there was no need to add to what the media has already made a whole-ass ship out of.” I roll my eyes and take another bite. My appetite hasn’t been in its best condition so I’m only eating this under Andrew’s orders. I have no idea how people can ship us romantically, he’s the definition of an older - and very bossy - brother to me. I wish I could tell each and every single one of those girls who hate me because I’ve ‘stolen their man’ that I’d most likely be their sister in law rather than man snatcher, seeing as how my relationship with Andrew is so sibling-like.
That’s because we’re too alike, no one gets that. People play the ‘opposites attract’ car more often than I consider rational. But then again when they see a couple like Andrew and I - who are basically the same person in different bodies - they suddenly think we’re super compatible. Trust me, we’re not. And everyone who’s been on set with us will tell you the same.
“What can I say...“ he shrugs, smirking at me, “I like the fun. I bet Becca doesn’t though.“
I can’t help but huff. Andrew is the only one I’ve ever openly expressed my frustrations with Rebecca to. He was super helpful on the subject, seeing as how he can relate - many partners of his have tried to use him, some of which even succeeded. He’s more than qualified to school me on the topic but it turned more into sharing bad experiences. One of which was that instance back at Corpse’s apartment.
“And neither does Corpse I suppose.“ As though he’s read my mind, he pokes the hurt spot, pouring salt in the wound causing me to visibly cringe as though the pain was physical - because it was, I felt it in my chest and in my gut, a sharp stab of guilt and regret.
Why did I let it come to that? Why did I let us get so close? How did I not think of the consequences?
“I don’t care if he does or doesn’t.“ My hand automatically reaches for the pocket of the jeans I’m not even wearing in search of a cigarette. Not that I’d be able to light one even if I had them on me - Andrew would smack it out of my hand before I could even take a single puff.
He has the audacity to laugh, “You’re such a bad liar, Y/N.”
That’s all he needs to say really - that’s enough to make me feel seen and understood. Though that’s not always a good thing. I often times wish he couldn’t read me so well. Better said: I wish I didn’t let myself be so readable, you know. I’m just glad he’s the one who sees me because if it were anyone else they’d use this vulnerability of mine against me. I’m well aware that it’s a weakness, a really inconvenient one, but damn it I can’t get rid of it. I feel like I’ll be less human if I lose it. Everyone’s allowed to be vulnerable, some just are lucky enough to choose who they’ll be vulnerable around. I’m lucky enough to to have a choice, not so lucky in the people I choose to trust. Guess that’s not a luck thing, it’s just my inability to decipher whether a person is worth all the pain and torture of coming clean to them or not. So far many people have burnt me but two stick out in particular - Becca and Corpse. Corpse especially, which is the odd thing considering he hasn’t even wronged me in any way. At least not yet.
“Your phone’s vibrating.“ Andrew says, pulling me out of my overflowing head when he hands me my phone which I handed to him because of my dress’ lack of pockets.
“Thanks.“ I mutter through a sigh as I take it from him, checking the notification I’ve gotten.
My stomach drops: it’s a message from Corpse.
“Hey I saw you are in LA but we have a stream tomorrow, will you still be participating?“
Before I can reply, he sends me another message.
“I know you’re probably very busy but we get the most viewership on the streams when you’re in them so....“
I’ve probably been staring at my phone screen for longer than I thought since Andrew felt the need to make sure I was still breathing: “Hey, you ok? You look terribly pale.” I can barely hear him let alone reply. I can’t hear my own thoughts to know what to reply to him. “Y/N, you’re scaring me.”
I’m scaring myself too, Andrew. I’m scared too. I’m scared of how broken my picker has become. I almost kissed this guy! I almost entrusted all my thoughts, hopes, wishes and goals to him! What the fuck was I thinking?! Well, at least I know what he was thinking about - viewership. Likes, subs, views, publicity. The more eyes on the stream the better for him and everyone else.
I genuinely want to applaud him, no one has been so direct about using me before. I was in a relationship with Becca for almost a year before I accidentally found out what she had been doing the whole time. No one’s ever smacked me in the face with this much honesty. It’s bittersweet really.
I want to laugh, I want to cry, slap myself across the face, slap him...I want to do so much, but all I can do now is sit in silence and think of how I could be so stupid.
He’s just another one, how did I not see that? How do I never see it until it’s too late? Why is one part of me still screaming: ‘He didn’t mean it like that!’
AND WHY THE FUCK DO I WANT TO BELIEVE IT?
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Rivals Last ~ Jadon Sancho
A/N: So I had this in my drafts before he signed with man united but that's fine, we move, we adapt. A third piece for the @footballffbarbiex summer challenge. Hope you enjoy it :)
Warnings: none - reader is female
Summary: You love both your brothers dearly, but being in the football world with them can make some things a little complicated.
gif by @archivesbvb - gif by @ermuellert - gif by @italynt
Being a footballer meant living in a special world. Being in a footballing family meant living in a special world too. Being the younger sister of Lucas and Theo Hernandez meant living in a really special world. But nobody told you just how crazy it would be for all three of those things to apply to you.
You truly love watching your older brothers play football. They teach you something new during every match you see; even though you play as a striker, their movements and handling of the ball always inspire you to play better. After all, it was their defensive skills that helped you become a good goal scorer growing up since they never let a tackle go unchallenged in the park and you had to find out how to manoeuvre around them. A lot easier said than done.
Currently Lucas is signed with Bayern Munich. In his time there so far, he has learnt the heritage, history, and importance of wearing the badge and defending its honour in every match they play, especially derbies. Having supported Lucas, it quickly became easy for you to support Bayern Munich too and celebrate their victories like it was your own team. You'd always managed to do it with the clubs both your brothers played for, letting the atmosphere of the fanbase carry you away.
You have just finished your second season in England with Manchester City women's team. You'd settled in nicely now, having learnt a lot of the English language and culture already. The experience was made so much easier because of the help given by your welcoming teammates and the staff that translated things into French and Spanish during your first months there.
Fans were a little disappointed during the 2019 summer transfer window when it was confirmed all three Hernandez siblings would be leaving Spain to play separately in England, Germany and Italy, joking that no one could know what might happen with you all so far away. However, to you, it made things easier, as Lucas and Theo would stop making so many awful jokes about each other's clubs, only to join forces to diss your club even more afterward. Now the only connection you have to the clubs you all play for is the want for your sibling to win with them. And it is a great feeling. A welcome change of pace.
But no new change to your life felt as good as your blossoming "relationship", situationship, whatevership, you have with Jadon Sancho.
It all started with you flirting back and forth on social media, which turned itself into countless hours of DMs no one else could see. You congratulated his goals and he congratulated your wins. All the light-hearted teasing and the warm-hearted compliments stayed in your own little bubble. The only thing peeking out was your silly inside rule that if you were going to comment on a post, it had to be emojis only, stretching to a few words if you really couldn't help yourself - but it would earn you taunts from the other for the rest of the night.
Some eagle-eyed fans noticed how you'd been liking each other's posts every time they appeared for a while now, but it just added to the fun and thrill you got from flirting with him so much.
You weren't meant to be forming a bond with Jadon. He played for your brother’s rival. He was supposed to be the enemy. Someone you should dislike with a snap of your fingers. Certainly not a boy to fall for like you have.
You couldn't help yourself. Lucas and Theo had helped you since you moved to England by being the steady rocks they always were, cheering you on from afar. Your new teammates had helped you since you moved to England by introducing fun things for you all to do together and taking you under their wings. But Jadon had helped you in a different kind of way. He gave you a new kind of comfort and reassurance when you talked. He became someone to turn to with all your interesting news and your curious problems. He told you the good places to visit around the city that he remembered from his time there and taught you English slang to make your teammates laugh. You spoke three languages to varying degrees now, and you'd managed to pick up more German vicariously through Lucas in two years faster than Jadon had done living in Germany in four years, so you'd clue him into rude German phrases you had asked Lucas about, alongside the French and Spanish swear words he used more often than English ones now when you text.
Even though a language barrier comes up once in a while, you have both learnt behaviours from each other and crave the contact you share. Jadon was starting to drop everything to send replies to you, a change his teammates have noticed and jokingly mock him for. Little did they know the unknown girl they joke he is smitten over is the sister of their rival.
Theo is the one in your family you usually tell about the boys you go out with; boyfriends and dates have been shared with him since you were 13 and doting on your first crush. He does the same with his girlfriends; asking advice and telling you more than you need to know at times. So, when you all went home for a bit of family time around Christmas, nothing could stop him from noticing the tell-tale signs that you had something going on. He already figured out through persistence that it was another player you were getting involved with, and his insistent questioning hasn't stopped in his search for who the player is.
But you keep it hidden from Lucas, and you don't know when you'll tell him. He has been your protector since you were kids, comforting you on sad nights when no one else was there, teaching you little secrets about how to navigate through the world, he even punched a boy who teased you once at school. The idea of telling him you were chatting romantically to another player would be trouble enough, but telling him it was a Dortmund player might just end up in another schoolground incident. You hadn't wanted Theo to know for fear he'd go dishing your dirt to Lucas, but he discovered it on his own and there was nothing you could do.
Who knows what might become of this thing you have with Jadon, and lord knows your eldest brother owns a hard as nails death stare that just might do Jadon in, but for now you actually quite like having the secret. A little mystery tucked away up your sleeve.
The rush you always get when Lucas calls your phone as you're typing a text to the Englishman, feeling as though the first words from the other end will be shouts of how he knows everything and he'll never speak to you again for keeping it a secret, fills you with dread at times. But it never is the reason he calls, and it turns out he is just making plans or has something funny to tell you. But the way your heart thumps as you go back to texting Jadon, that is part of the chase you have to admit you enjoy.
Hardcore fans online have noticed the past few months that when you do interviews in English, the odd slang term comes up during jokes - terms you hadn't used before and stem more from London boroughs than northen towns - so speculation of how you'd learnt these things easily coincided with dating rumors.
Lucas had seen the speculation online; seen fans trying to put your interactions with the Dortmund player together through both your instagram stories and comments and the tweets you both had liked about the other. Lucas had even grown suspicious of the little questions you asked him about Germany, German phrases and his lifestyle there, not knowing why you would need nor want to know those things. But Lucas doesn't believe it. He knows that you know better to mix with a Dortmund boy.
Sometimes an older brother just doesn't get it quite right…
Soon, the chance will come to really see if your connection is something you can build on. Jadon's new signing with Manchester United has been confirmed and he will be moving back to England. It is a great opportunity to get to see him more often, rather than the odd rendezvous point or clandestine trip during small breaks in the season. You'll spend more time face to face instead of over the phone. You'll get to wake up in his bed and him in yours, without needing to sneak away from hotel rooms afterwards. You'll maybe even get to go on a proper date, just the two of you, where you can flirt across the table your joined hands rest upon. Hanging out with Jadon won't be the first time you've spent time together in person. However, getting a full day with only the two of you where you won't have to pretend you hardly know who he is, and you won't have to pretend your eyes aren't meeting across the group of people you're in - it fills your stomach with knots and butterflies.
A certain pressure has fallen off you now Jadon has no growing rivalry with Lucas, but not completely. You won't be able to take back the way their teams made the other feel in the past, but the fact there won't be more of it next season comforts you a little. The biggest thing that will hold you back from going public before the new season starts will be the media, but that is an issue you can't even begin to worry about yet. You are too caught up in the excitement of being in the same town as Jadon to care. Rumours are spinning crazier than ever about you two as some of your liked tweets about his move got reposted by sports pages and fan blogs - now joking about him being your rival instead of your brother's - and yet it didn't stop you, no longer all that bothered about keeping a low profile now you both will be living away from Lucas. If he gets mad, all he will be able to do is shout down the phone, and whilst you never want that to happen, you know the time to flourish with Jadon and capitalise on the foundation you have already built is better than ever, brothers be damned.
There are big changes coming for the both of you, yet one thing will remain the same no matter the outcome of your relationship. You can't quite stop being football rivals.
#jadon sancho#lucas hernandez#theo hernandez#jadon sancho imagine#jadon sancho x reader#football#football imagine#oneshot#my fic#my og post
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