#stranger things x gracie abrams | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

munsonsreputation · 9 months

Text

everything in between

steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: [6.2K]

warnings: warnings: no use of y/n, established relationship, difficulties dealing with drunk-ness (steve), brief talk about anxiety, all around fluff

summary: you and steve are both new to this relationship thing, unsure if this will finally be the one — but it's already clear to everybody else that you two are perfect for each other and everything in between. based off "in between" by gracie abrams.

It’s everything new and fresh, yet frightening between you and Steve.

The way that you both had found yourselves here without knowing if what was happening was right for either of you. If the decision to finally act upon feelings was going to be the end of broken hearts and tearful nights and replace them with mended tapestries and starry eyes.

For the both of you, it seems scary, giving love another chance after the horrible paths that you two had previously been on, but it seems like everyone else already knows that you’re both walking hand in hand on Lover’s Lane.

Something hopeful connecting you two together and bringing you both where you needed to be — becoming everything in between.

Robin likes to tease Steve in the beginning stages of your relationship. Poking fun at him for the way he has always been irrevocably whipped and enamored by you even before he had finally asked you out.

He tries to play it cool like his persona, but deep down she knows it’s all just an act and he puts up so that it doesn’t seem like he’s moving too fast.

Her feet rest comfortably in his lap as they pass around the popcorn bowl, enjoying the new tape they had smuggled from Family Video. Not that they cared, since Keith never noticed. The couch seems a lot bigger without the rest of their friends there to hog it, but Steve still doesn’t mind the less than pedicured toes in his lap because it’s his best friend.

There’s a ring that comes from the house phone which is mounted to the wall on the other side of the room catching her attention quicker than the feeling of her legs getting pushed off his thighs as he rushes to answer it.

“Hey!”

It’s sick, honestly down right repulsive by the way he never lets the phone ring for more than a second or two when he knows it you on the other line. And she knows, he knows that it’s you calling because he just feels it in his bones — even when it could be one of the kids prank calling at this late hour; he knows that it’s you.

“Hi Stevie!”

She can practically hear you bubbling on the other side of the receiver and she swears Steve smiles a little harder just at the sound of your voice.

She doesn’t hear you ask how movie night is going, too busy with stuffing her mouth with popcorn entertained with the way Steve is leaning against the wall and acting like a total school girl over the fact that you called.

He only makes eye contact with her for a split second before he’s wiping the smile off his face to the best of his ability seeing the way his best friend is smirking like an idiot over the way he’s acting.

“Y-yeah, it’s great! Just some boring movie about spaceships and aliens — Oh, yeah, Robin’s just eating all the popcorn right now. She doesn’t mind.”

Steve shakes his head, not wanting to hang up the phone so soon. If he could, he’d talk to you for the whole night and he’s pretty sure Robin wouldn’t mind at all because it’d be way more entertaining than the forgotten movie on the tv.

“Tell her I said hi and I can’t wait to see her tomorrow!” You say enthusiastically and Steve does everything but groan, knowing that this will probably lead to some sort of teasing that from Robin’s end.

He pulled the phone away from his ear, holding it out in the air towards Robin as he speaks, “She says hi and she can’t wait til tomorrow.”

She chews, a smile still splaying on her face as she swallows and licks the crumbs off her lips before shouting out loud enough for you to hear.

“Hiya sunshine! Miss you bunches, but not more than your lover boooyyy!” She singsongs with a cackle erupting as soon as Steve snatches the phone back to his ear.

Your own laughter overlaps Robin’s, and it silences the embarrassment that Steve’s feeling because the last thing he wants is for you to think that he’s moving too fast. But for you, he’s moving at the right speed, the speed that has you throwing your hands in the air with butterflies filling your stomach in all the right ways.

“Ignore her. She’s trying to be funny.” Steve tries to quip, yet you’re still giggling, and it’s the kind that makes his cheeks heat up because he knows you’re blushing and smiling like a maniac.

He wishes he were there to see it for himself, the way you’d try to hide your face behind your hands because of how hard you were smiling and how he’d have to plead for you to put them down just so he could catch a glimpse and save that mental picture in his head forever.

Your voice is laced with sweetness as your giggles die down and only a second or two of silence comes before you speak.

“Don’t leave Robs hanging and go watch your movie…I’ll call in the morning, lover boy.”

He sure as hell doesn’t let the first ring even finish before he picks up the next morning and Robin is quite pleased because it doesn’t wake her up.

Steve’s house always seems to be the gathering place for get together’s, mostly because his parents are always gone and partly because the amount of room there is to roam around. And while there isn’t always alcohol at the functions because of the presence of the sneaky kids, when there is Nancy can always smell the anxiety in the air.

For her she knows that a piece of Steve is still mortified from the Halloween party a few years back which ended with spiked punch spilt all over her, a dramatic drunken argument, and the end of her and Steve.

She lives with that regret wishing she had been sober so she could’ve at least let him down easy and even after she had apologized she still knows that it haunts him, especially because she can see his face fall when she brings him a very intoxicated you.

“Woah, woah, hey,”

She guides you into his arms, watching the way he’s already grabbing at your shoulders and lifting your chin up with his thumb and forefinger. She sticks around, not knowing if she’ll need to help if you fall backwards in his living room. You definitely seem and look wasted, droopy eyes staring into Steve’s as you try your best to stand up straight.

“She might have had too many drinks.” Nance winces, looking back at the kitchen where empty solo cups are scattered over the kitchen table.

Steve breathes in, nodding his head and working your arm over his shoulders to keep you upright, “thanks, I’m gonna bring her to the bathroom to clean up.”

She nods, nibbling back a comment about how he shouldn’t bring you to the same upstairs bathroom that he had brought her in. It would be too much for him to handle this kind of situation again in the same place where she had broken his heart, but she knows you aren’t going to do that to him.

He proceeds, doing most of the holding up and walking, guiding you slowly up the stairs and down the hall to his bathroom where all your stuff is stored in your very a drawer he had cleared out just for you.

“Let’s sit, yeah?” Steve mutters quietly, closing the toilet lid and sitting you down on it.

He’s unsure of what to do, seeing as though you haven’t even spoken a word since Nancy brought you to him. Yet he knows you can hear him. The way your sluggish eyes stay on his let him know that you’re still aware that he’s here with you, he just doesn’t know what you’re thinking.

What is about to come out of your mouth when you finally begin speaking?

If it’ll be something that’s going to tear his heart apart and begin to make his eyes prickle. If he’ll have to beg you to not walk out because you’re not thinking straight. If this was all his love was ever going to amount to and end like this.

“S-staring,” You hiccup, your shoulders jerking

He furrows his brows, kneeling on the floor and squeezing your knee lovingly.

“Huh? What was that?”

You swallow back another hiccup, rubbing your fingers over your eyes, smudging your mascara, unknowingly.

“I said y-you’re staring.”

Steve watches when you pull your hands away, black pigment covering your finger tips though you don’t seem to notice or feel the slight sting of the product getting in your eyes.

Despite it all, a smile tugs up at the corner of your lips as you reach forward and wrap your arms around Steve’s neck, wanting to be close to his touch. You’re slouching into him, resting your forehead against his as he does his best to not laugh at the mess around your eyes.

“I was staring because you look like you had a lot to drink,” he says, smoothing your stay hairs behind your ear and cupping your cheek.

You close your eyes blissfully, taking him with you as you lean back slightly and reel in the feeling of his gentle touch.

“I think I had three…no four! cups of gin and tonic.” You mention, not bothering to open your eyes to catch his bemused look.

“Hmm, I believe it, sweetheart. Why don’t we take off your makeup then get you some water and a snack downstairs before bed?” He proposed met with your eyes opening and your head nodding.

He guides you towards the sink as you do your best to keep yourself upright against the counter as he swipes the damp makeup wipe over your face paying extra attention to the delicate skin around your eyes as he tries to get most of the mascara smudge off.

He knows which bottle is your face wash because he’s watched you do it a million times over at your place and he picked up a bottle to stay at his for when you spent the night. It’s like muscle memory for him even if this is the first time he’s doing it for you and he hopes it isn’t the last because it’s calming him down in a weird way.

What he had thought was going to be an explosive fight in his bathroom all over again was just you smiling and humming as his fingers glided over your face, happy that it was him taking care of you. Apparently you seem to enjoy it just as much, giggling as he smears the moisturizer over your face and rubbing it into your skin.

The task alone seems to wake you up enough that you’re beaming and talking a lot more than before.

“My face feels so soft!” You grin, tapping your palms on either side of your cheeks while Steve guides you back down the stairs and towards the kitchen.

Chuckling, Steve hoists you up on the countertops as he rummages through the dishes, finding a clean glass and filling it up with some ice and water.

“Really? You think I did a good job?” He urges as he carefully places the cusp between your lips and tilts it enough for you to sip slowly.

When you push your head forward, he knows you had enough, drawing it away and setting it on the counter. Both of his palms rest on either side, caging you in as your gaze is fixated on his face.

“The best job, ever…kisses?” You ask, playfully puckering your lips towards him.

He knows you mean, “can I kiss you for doing a good job” but he still gets it, flashing you a tender smile.

“Yeah, sure, why not,” He snickers, leaning closer as you hold his face in your hands and smile, “kisses, baby.”

A giddy smile plays on your lips as his lips touch yours. For you it feels just as special as the other’s kisses you two share even if your brain is half buzzing from the alcohol. But for Steve, it’s a wave of relief, one that washes away the cold and empty feeling from the past. All he wants to do is savor the sweetness of your lips and hands, keeping him grounded here with you.

“You’re gonna get me drunk.” Steve jokes against your lips and you giggle, pressing your lips harder against his to shut him up for a moment.

“Is that even possible?” You ask finally pulling away and running your thumbs over his cheekbones.

He shrugs, leaning into your touch, “Maybe, but I don’t mind.”

You grin, pressing one last kiss to his lips before pointing to the bag of Lay’s that sits unopen.

“Can I have some chips?” you request

“Sure, you can have the whole bag if you want,” He replies, reaching for it and tearing it open.

Steve’s more than happy to oblige, feeding you and offering you occasional sips of water while you both stay in the kitchen totally forgetting about the party around you.

It’s an endearing sight that Nancy can’t help but smile at from her place on the couch. She’s fulfilled with her own love that she shares with Jonathan, the boy who’s resting his head on her shoulder, tracing shapes on the scar in the palm of her hand.

But she’s especially fulfilled with the fact that she and Steve are on better terms now, one where they can be happy for each other now that they’ve found their person. She watches the way both of your faces light up with laugher and smiles even if you’re still a little tipsy. Steve doesn’t look at unease at all. If anything, he’s at peace knowing it’s you and this time, it’s different.

His home has seen plenty of ups and downs, tears and heartbreak, but love had found its way back in and new memories were replacing bad ones. It had been a long time coming and enough waiting around.

She knows you two found each other — the ones who will always care about each other and will always be there for one another.

Steve isn’t sure if you are just trying to be nice or if you genuinely don’t mind that the kids tag along to the places you two go. He knows it’s the latter, but still likes to question it.

The movie at the park seemed like a great idea, at first. It was something different rather than just going to the theaters or watching it on his couch, and to top it all off it was a showing of your favorite movie, “Can’t Buy Me Love.”

But it was a great idea before the kids begged to tag along, promising that they wouldn’t talk during the movie and would even bring their own blankets and money for snacks. Steve tried to oppose the idea, giving the reasoning that it was a date which meant two people: him and you.

But you had shaken him off, telling them that you wouldn’t mind if they wanted to come along and if anything the more the merrier.

And who was Steve to argue?

For once, the kids were really on their best behavior, paying attention to the movie and passing their snacks and drinks around while they watched, but that was before their sugar rush caused them to crash, bringing fatigue to their eyes.

“Poor things,” you pout at the sight of the children sprawled out a few feet in front of you and Steve.

He snorts, seeing their jumbled limbs stretching over each other. You both tried to convince them to space out across the grassy area, but they insisted on being squished together like sardines in order to get to the snacks easily.

“S’okay, they probably needed the nap.”

He rubs your arm, keeping you warm against the chilly night breeze as you settle the back of your head against his shoulder, wrapping your arms across yourself.

“They’re gonna miss the best part.” You say wistfully, slumping into him.

“Honey, you practically spoiled it on the car ride here. I don’t think they’ll miss much.” He badgers as you turned your face into his chest and stifle your giggle there.

Your laugh is infectious, like music to his ears that he’d much rather listen to compared to the static-y audio that plays over the low quality speakers. There’s a kiss he lays on the crown of your head as you turn your sights back to the sleeping teens, hoping they’re not too uncomfortable with the lack of pillows and a comfy mattress on their backs.

“Remember how you said I have a soft spot for these twerps?” You mention serenely.

He hums, resting his chin on the top of your head, “yeah, what about it?”

“You’re right, but I just can’t help it. They’re adorable and I’d let them crash all our dates if you’d let me.”

Steve jokingly scorns, swinging his head against your, “Oh, don’t start, they’d never leave us alone.”

You roll your eyes half heartedly, turning your attention back to the movie. Meanwhile, Steve’s focus is still all on you, wrapping his arms over the front of your body and nuzzling his face between your shoulder blade to give the space beneath your ear a kiss.

“I’m so lucky to have you…even those little shit heads are lucky to have you.” Steve admits out of nowhere.

He can’t resist telling you how much he appreciates you even with a cheesy movie and his annoying children a few feet away. To him, you’re his world no matter what’s in front of him. You maneuver your head enough to look up at him as you swat his chest playfully, trying to brush off his compliment that has you blushing.

“No I mean it,” he insists, leaving another sweet kiss on your skin before cradling your face in his warm hands.

“You’re so beautiful and kind. You don’t ever get annoyed at the kids for crashing our dates. You don’t get annoyed at me for getting annoyed at them.”

You hide your cheek in your shoulder, wrapping your fingers over his wrists where he still holds you.

“Yeah, well, you’re not too bad yourself.” You nudge him with your elbow.

“Yeah?” He smirks with a curious glint in his words as you nod, “care to share?”

“Believe it or not, you’re so patient. I’ve never seen a guy handle teenage kids as effortlessly as you do. You’re so hardworking and even when you’re tired you give me all your time in the world. You’re generous and—”

He can’t resist interrupting mostly because if you keep talking he’s sure he’s going to permanently etch the world’s biggest smile on his face forever.

“Alright, alright, I get it, babe. I’m like the whole package and the best boyfriend ever.” He gloats jokingly, pulling your face closer to his in order to connect to your lips.

“Yeah you dork, you really are.” You hum, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him deeper into you.

The movie is now long forgotten by you and Steve, too infatuated and caught up in each other to care about the corny love story that plays. You know that yours is better than any movie out there even your favorite one — you and Steve top them all.

Unbeknownst to the both of you, the kids hear every single word you and Steve had uttered to each other thinking that they were asleep. For them, they know every word is true, the two of you always bragging about how special the other half is when they aren’t around — the fact that you two say it without reservation when you think no ones around to hear makes it clearer that you two are meant to be.

By the time the movie is over, you’re softly shaking the kids awake and Steve’s folding up the blankets.

“It’s already over?” Lucas yawns stretching his arms up dramatically.

“We missed it?” El says disappointedly going the extra mile by rubbing the ‘sleep’ out of her eyes.

You hum sympathetically, nodding your head, “You guys dozed off, but you didn’t miss much. Ronald and Cindy live happily ever after in the end.”

“Just like every other cheese rom-com.” Dustin sighs standing up and brushing the grass off his clothing.

Max rolls her eyes, lending out a hand toward El and helping her up, “that’s the whole point of rom-coms, idiot. They’re supposed to be cheesy and have some stereotypical trope. It’s more entertaining than realistic.”

You smirk, picking out a shard of grass from her red hair, “You’re right, because real romance is totally different. More special, you know.”

The kids don’t miss the way you look back at Steve and hold your hand out for him to take as you all begin walking towards the parking lot ready to load into Steve’s car and commence a night full of drop offs.

“Oh trust us, we know.” Will hailed out with a knowing smile.

They watch as Steve presses a kiss to your cheek, opening the passenger door and letting you in before everyone else.

“Ugh, they make me so sick,” muttered Mike with feigned annoyance, secretly happy that he got to sit in the trunk far away from you and Steve’s sappiness.

As far as everyone else was concerned, the movie in the park was a hit. It was totally worth it seeing the best love story play out — they just didn’t know they were the exclusive viewers.

Joyce and Hopper finally tied the knot in a very small and intimate ceremony in their backyard. Steve had brought you around for the first time, though Hop and Joyce were pretty much familiar with you already, hearing so many good things from Steve.

He appreciated how they instantly welcomed you in, hugging you and thanking you for the small gift you had brought along to celebrate their special day. The two of you sat on the picnic benches, hands held underneath the table as you watched the pair share their first dance as husband and wife.

Half-way through, you had leaned into him, resting your cheek on his shoulder, and he promptly leaned into you, cushioning you snugly as you watched with adoring eyes.

“They look so in love.” You spoke faintly, looking up at him through your lashes with a grin on your face.

He glances down at you, pecking at your lips and nodding, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Hop dance.”

You pursed your lips, shaking your head as you held back your laughter, “I guess love really does its thing.”

“It does.” He smiles, kissing your temple as the music dies down to something more upbeat and alive.

“C’mon, people, get up here and dance!” Joyce whistles, gesturing everyone over though everybody seems to hesitate for a moment.

But not Steve.

“Wanna dance?” He smirks, squeezing your hand as you lift your head.

You nod, looking up at him while he stands holding his hand out for you, which you gladly take without a second thought.

“I should warn you, your toes might get stepped on. I’m not the greatest at dancing.” He confesses kissing your head as you giggle and shake your head.

“I won’t mind, long as you’re the one carrying me off the dance floor by the end of it.” You say giving his hand a squeeze.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” He promises.

The two of you seamlessly sway back and forth, your arms draped over his neck and his wrapped tightly around your waist. You guys don’t seem to notice or care that you’re the only other couple on the dance floor — too much in your own world.

There are whispers and smiles that you and Steve share as you both loosen up to the music. His hand guiding you into a spin that makes you giggle and fall back into his chest, looking up at him dizzily.

While the dance floor isn’t anything special, just freshly trimmed grass underneath your foot, it feels like holy ground. A scared, special, one of the kind place that the both of you feel so safe in that it doesn’t matter if everyone else is watching.

“How long until you think they’ll get married?” Hop asks his wife, leading her to the picnic tables to catch a quick break.

She snickers, pinching his arm fondly, “Won’t be surprised if they ask the officiant to stay a little longer.”

They’ve got a front row view to a sight that reminds them of their own love. The younger versions of themselves that wished they had gotten together soon, but they’re more than happy for the both of you, clapping and cheering as Steve dips you low and presses a kiss to your lips.

You two can feel the fireworks, their plans to extinguish never dare to exist. It’s just you and Steve, the holy ground beneath you, and the sparks flying.

Hangouts don’t feel the same when you’re not there, for Steve especially it feels like a missing piece that he’s thinking and worrying about even if you’re just working a night shift. He knows he’ll get to see you bright and early the next morning — will probably even call out of work just so he can be your human pillow while you caught up on sleep.

He tries not to think so hard about it, focusing on Eddie’s high score that he’s trying to beat on the Nintendo while Dustin breathes down his neck and the others watch the television screen.

“Mom! Phoneeeeeee!” Mike yells as the landline begins to ring.

It nearly throws Steve off and by this point he feels like he should just give up because he doesn’t stand a chance beating Eddie’s score. Yet he still tries to focus, thumbs nudging the joysticks and tugging his bottom lip between his teeth, almost drawing blood by how hard he’s trying.

The basement door swing open, Mrs. Wheeler covering the receiver with her palm as she speaks loud enough for everyone to hear.

“Steve, it’s your girlfriend.”

Only then does the controller drop from his hands like it doesn’t matter. His legs spring up, quickly looking up the stairs to give Karen a smile before she nods and closes the door.

“Dude, you almost had it!”

Dustin groans tugging at his curly roots, realizing he now owed Mike and Lucas $20 for the stupid bet. Eddie slaps the top of his head gingerly, urging them to be quiet as they all zero in on Steve picking up the phone.

“Baby?” He says hurriedly with a confused glint to his voice.

He can hear your sniffles and a small cough leaving your mouth on the other end. Worry and anxiety fill his veins on instance. Something is telling him that there’s something wrong, and he’s proven right when you finally reply weakly.

“H-hey, how’s game night?” You try your best to keep it together, to not let him know you’re holding back tears.

His foot comes tapping on the ground and his body begins to shake not knowing what’s going on.

“Y-you’re crying? What’s the matter, sweetheart? Did something happen? Where are you?”

Steve’s spitting out questions faster than you can answer and the others who are listening can only grow more concerned knowing that the Steve their seeing on the phone isn’t his sappy lovey self.

You swallow, sniffling again, “I’m okay, babe. I—I just needed to hear your voice.”

His heart aches hearing the obvious sadness in your voice that you’re trying to mask, but all it does is cause more worry. You’ve cried to Steve a hand full of times and each time it still breaks his heart, but it hurts even more that you’re far away and he’s not able to see you face to face.

“You’re scaring me. I’m gonna come there and get you.” He offers immediately, patting his pockets checking if he has his car keys which he doesn’t have.

“No, no, it’s fine, I called because I quit…I quit my job.” You explain with a heavy sigh.

There’s silence for only a quick moment, a breath of relief coming from Steve knowing that you aren’t in danger, but he’s prompt to offer to come and get you again.

“Oh…baby, I-I’m sorry. Did you want me to come there and pick you up? Eddie could drive your car back home and we’ll take my car together?”

He’s speaking gently, peering over his shoulder at Eddie who is already nodding and standing up ready to go wherever you are, knowing that Steve needs to know you’re safe.

You take a shaky breath, collecting yourself before speaking, “You don’t have to do that. I’m fine to drive…it’s just that I needed to hear your voice before I got into the car. Just a long night, I’m sorry for worrying yo—”

Steve shakes his head, waving his hand over towards Eddie, telling him that it’s okay and he can sit back down before mouthing a “thank you” before turning back to the call.

“Hey, no stop, don’t apologize. I’m right here okay? Not gonna hang up until you’re ready. I’ll be waiting for you as soon as you’re ready to hang up okay?”

You don’t try to hide it anymore, letting your sniffles and sobs loose. Every second that passes by is tugging on his heart strings wanting to do nothing more than to rush wherever you are, but he knows you’re going to be fine, you just need some more time with him.

“O—okay, just had a really long night. I was trying to just get through my shift but, I…I just couldn’t do it.”

You sound pissed off at yourself, irritated that you couldn’t make it through the night shift. But he knew it was for good reason if it made you up and quit — he didn’t blame you and he was far from mad.

“And that’s perfectly fine, sweetheart. Whatever it is, we’re gonna figure it out alright? We can look through the newspaper for job offerings and I can take you to drop off resumes. It’s all gonna be okay, ok?”

“Okay,” you whisper faintly, swiping away at your tears and nose.

He knows it’s important that you calm down before you get behind the wheel. If you don’t, he’ll drive down there himself, not wanting to risk you driving when you’re feeling like this.

“I’m right here with you, baby. Deep breath, in and out. That’s good, babe.” He guides you through it, hearing your shaky breaths slowly easing.

Steve doesn’t have to turn his head to know the worry etched on his friends’ faces is apparent. They’re anxiously waiting, wondering what’s going on, only being able to hear parts of it through Steve’s tender words that he offers you.

They know they all have a habit of teasing him and poking fun at the way he’s whipped over you, but this is a different side of him that they rarely get to witness. The vulnerable side that only comes out when he’s with you even with the distance that’s keeping you both apart.

“Okay, I’ll see you soon, alright, baby? Drive safely.” He speaks, nodding his head to himself before he places the receiver back on the stand and turns to face his friends.

“Is she okay?” Eddie asks worriedly as Steve nods and brushes a hand through his hair.

“She had a tough night and quit. She’s heading her now.” Steve reveals and everyone nods before Robin stands up and pats him on the back.

“C’mon, let’s go wait for her upstairs.”

The gang had migrated from the basement to the living room, awaiting your arrival. They had tried to do everything to reassure Steve, to get him to sit down and wait patiently, but they weren’t surprised that he didn’t budge and instead kept his place by the window, watching the driveway.

Everyone has their eyes on the clock, watching the minutes pass by and glancing every so often when headlights pass the street, thinking that it’s you.

The worried expression doesn’t leave his face until he finally sees two headlights turn into the driveway.

“She’s here,” Steve says under his breath, not wasting a moment to dash out the front door, slamming it behind him.

He’s at the driver’s side before you can even put the car into park. His fingers wrap around the door, pulling it open as you don’t hesitate to get out and wrap your arms around him, hiding your teary face in his neck as you melt into his embrace.

“Shhh, I’ve got you,” He says quietly, keeping one of his hands on the back of your head while the other rubs comforting circles on your back.

He presses a kiss to the top of your head and he can feel the tears springing from your eyes, trailing across his skin. The feeling burns him in every kind of way that tears his heart apart slowly. How he wishes he can take the weight of what you’re feeling off your shoulders and instead he can carry it for you. But all he can do right now is hold you, brush his hard over your head and pull you as close as he can get you, and whisper words of comfort, hoping it will take the pain away.

“I—I really needed you. I just kept thinking of how badly I wanted to run into your arms when I walked out of there. They made me feel so stupid and useless and I—”

He shushes you smoothly, shaking his head and tearing you away from his neck so you can see him.

“Screw them, baby. We can write a complaint or something because you don’t deserve to get treated like that, alright?” His voice is firm full of determination not showing you how angry he is at your boss or co-workers for letting this escalate.

Your palms come up to your eyes, rubbing them as your voice breaks. “I know, but I just feel so d-dumb—”

He shakes his head, tugging gently at your wrists to stop you from hiding, “Hey stop, don’t say that. You don’t know how much you mean to me and how much I hate when I hear you say those things about yourself.”

You sniffle, smiling at him apologetically, “Sorry, I know…I—I’m just happy to be here with you.”

“Yeah, well, I’m glad you called and I’m happier to know you’re okay. I was scared shitless.” He grimaces, grazing his sights over every inch of your tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” you say softly, “I was just planning on showing up here, but I guess everything was just building and building and when I finally quit and walked out of there I felt like I was going to collapse and I just needed you.”

His heart swells with love and admiration, for a minute it replaces the worry and anguish. It’s stupid because he shouldn’t be smiling as wide as he is right now with tears prickling his eyes in the best way possible.

You’ve never held back on telling him how much you cared and appreciated him for being the best boyfriend in the world…but to be needed is a whole different level that he’s new to. One that mends his heart of all the traumas and has him holding your face in his hands while he blinks the tears down his cheeks as you watch.

You’re confused, brows pinching together as you swipe your thumbs across his cheeks and wonder what he’s thinking and smiling about. It’s only when he speaks that you understand what’s happening.

“I love you, you know that?” His voice quivers, teeters on the edge of fear and letting go.

Your jaw trembles, new tears falling down your cheeks, this time in a happy way that has you forgetting about the horrible shift you had just endured.

None of that matters when you’re standing in the arms of the man who’s telling you that he loves you.

You’re laughing through the tears, feelings the comfort and safety in his embrace, “Y-yeah?” you ask stupidly, as if he could ever change his mind.

He nods, laughing weakly,“Yeah…like a lot. I love you so much and I’m always gonna be here…not gonna go anywhere. Right here whenever you need me.”

“I love you too, Stevie.” You cooed, standing up on your tiptoes and kissing him with every ounce of your being.

Your lips move in synchronicity, the familiarity of each other never building contempt, instead making you both stronger. It’s a feeling that will never get old and that neither of you would get tired of experiencing. Even at your worse, you know it’ll always be okay as long as you have him to keep you tethered.

Time freezes for everyone, not just you and Steve — your friends watching in the window and smiling at the scene before them.

They’ve always known that you and him were in love since the moment you two said hello. It’s just that now, it feels a lot nicer being able to witness the moment you two finally realize it. The love you share and everything in between.

💌 reblogs, tags, comments, + likes are greatly appreciated! leave a comment and let me know if want to be added to my taglist!! 💌

a/n: i hope you guys like this little something something i wrote based off "in between" by gracie abrams. i absolutely love this song and it's so underrated (ITS UNREALEASED KINDA LOL). anyways, let me know what you think!

taglist: @translatemunson @kennedy-brooke @manda-panda-monium @tvserie-s-world @givemeth @steveharringtonswife @astolenkiss @loving-and-dreaming @awkotaco24 @engenelxver @elfiaaaa @pbs-theundeadmaggot @johnricharddeacy @gaysludge @scoopshxrrington @micheledawn1975 @ihatepeanutss @bakugouswh0r3

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fvnalgirlcomplex · 11 months

Text

MASTERLIST ✸

requests are closed but you can see rules for requests here!

OUTER BANKS

cast and characters

jj maybank

— the cut that always bleed

written imagine, angst

drew starkey

night shift series

— night shift, yours&mine

smau ft. singer!yn, angst

SCREAM VI

cast and characters

STRANGER THINGS

cast and characters

THE LAST OF US

cast and characters

YELLOWJACKETS

cast and characters

sophie nélisse

— fool4u

smau ft. famous!yn, fluff

sophie thatcher

— tangled in love

written imagine, fluff

courtney eaton

— to be loved

smau ft. actress!yn, fluff

MISC. CELEBRITIES

olivia rodrigo, jamie drysdale, gracie abrams, trevor zegras, jack hughes, quinn hughes, nico hischier, anya taylor joy, jack hughes, zendaya, timothee chalamet, lando norris, oscar piastri, charles leclerc, daniel riccardo, luke hughes… possibly more to be added

zendaya

— girlfriend

smau ft. famous!yn, fluff

timothee chalamet

— birthday boy

smau ft. celebrity!yn, fluff

jamie drysdale

— stagecoach ‘23

smau ft. actress!yn, fluff

jack hughes

— pretty isn’t pretty

irl/smau, angst/fluff, guts series

#yellowjackets #the last of us #tlou #dune #stranger things #scream vi #x reader #jamie drysdale #olivia rodrigo #gracie abrams #florence pugh #timothee chalamet #zendaya #anya taylor joy #sophie thatcher x reader #sophie nelisse x reader #jj maybank x reader

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lokiswife13 · 2 years

Photo

“I just thought you should know I never wanted closure”.

Summary: Steve and y/n we’re friends with benefits but since Nancy everything has change.

I was inspire by the song “so good” by Halsey and “friends” by Gracie Abrams, there’s some lyrics of these song in the story. Hope you like it.

Warnings: smut, explicit. characters are 18.

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

Looking from the outside, being a spectator from your own life, being incapable of doing anything besides falling. That’s how y/n felt, like constantly falling in and out of her life, she couldn’t control what happened around her and she couldn’t control herself, she couldn’t go on like this any longer.

“I’m trying my best here, y/n”. That wasn’t fair for her, having him at her home.

“Your best, Steve? I need you to go”. He didn’t even move.

Please, she thought. Just leave, go, she thought. It was hard for her, everything she always wanted was him, all for her, but sometimes things didn’t worked out. For her it was the proof that her happiness wasn’t available to her, somehow life always made her aware that for her the happy ending just wasn’t at her reach.

“When I left I bet you held her body closer, I was hoping you will tell her it was over”. Steve looked at the floor, trying to collect himself, to appear stronger than he was. “Cause you are all I think about and everywhere I go… I can’t do this anymore, Steve. I really meant those words the last time we slept together”.

She knew that Nancy was the girl he wanted, somehow their relationship was a statement to his parents and to him, like she was the savior, his savior.

“You wanna us to sleep together?”. She asked.

“No, I mean…” Steve said.

“You-We need to stop doing this. I can’t go on like this anymore. Us, is wrong”. The last word made her sad, her eyes sting, teardrops started falling. “I’m leaving, Steve”. Steve looked at her it shock.

“You can’t, no. You told me you wouldn’t be able to walk away, I need you”. He took a step closer to her and she didn’t move, he hugged her, intimate, almost like losing her was a thought he couldn’t stand.

“Is for the best, and is only a year. You are all I think about and I know it’s bad but we could be so good. I don’t wanna stay cause everything it’s different, you been with her long enough for me to understand that you want her and not me. And it’s okay, really. I need to move on”.

Steve didn’t move, he just hugged her and realized that all the shit they’ve been through was what bring them closer. And the way their story was form, almost like a curve, not a perfect line but somehow that was what he loved the most, the relationship had grew against everything and even when he was laying with Nancy she was all he thought about, but not even that made him think about the consequences that playing with fire would bring, specially for her. The line he drew was killing her inside and he was devastated because he didn’t notice it at all.

Y/n felt like she had water in her lungs, around him she couldn’t even breathe, she fell in love since the first time she saw him at that basketball game, moving almost like in pilot, like he knew the game even before it started, and when he looked at her and smile, that was it, she fell, and didn’t care if only they were sleeping together, at least she had a little of his love, the way he loved her was all she needed, she thought she would have the nerve to say him to try something more, but the fear took the best of her and when Nancy showed up she just knew things will change, maybe for the better, this was a goodbye, for now at least.

[flashback]

“Hey, y/n”. Steve said once she opened the door.

“Hi, Steve. Come in”. She smile and he did the same.

“I was around the neighborhood and thought I would said hi”. Steve said while looking at her.

“Get in the couch”. She ordered and he smile.

Steve sat on the couch, watching every move she made, feeling his arouse growing almost with his breathing, she was wearing a beautiful black skirt and a hoodie that made her look so good, she moved with grace towards him, sitting in his lap and kissed him like it would be the last time.

“I’m gonna tell her that it’s over”. Y/n smile.

She didn’t believe he would do that, and she had made up her her mind, she was leaving for a year to take care of her grandma. This was it, she wasn’t falling for his words.

“It’s okay, Steve. Let’s just enjoy this”.

Steve moved his kisses to her neck and made her get rid of the hoodie, the black lace of her bra made him wimper and she smile at it, the friction she was creating with her movements against him, he was in heaven, once again only her could reach this kind of reaction from him, the needy guy that loved every single thing about her.

“Strip”. He said and she smile.

She stand and looked directly to him, the black lace of her bra and the skirt made her looked so good.

“Are you sure? I though this type of skirt stayed during sex”. She said playing with the waist band.

“I want to see all of you, y/n”. She nodded.

She strip in front of him. The black lace of her lingerie made her appear even more pale that she already was, the yellow tone of the light in the living room made her eyes pop in a darker shade. Steve was mesmerized by her, by all of her. And probably he will always be.

“Come here”. Steve reach her hand and sit her in his lap, kissing the expose skin in her chest and with one hand pulling down the bra to free one of her boobs, he definitely was a boob men. She smile and Steve put one of her nipples in his mouth, moaning against it and y/n mooned in response.

The heated breathes and the way his mouth made her feel, like every nerve of her body was there only when he was around, she helped him get rid of his clothes, touching him in the process and making a mess of him. She was dripping for him, desperate to feel him inside her, in response Steve kissed her, a deep and messy kiss.

“Ride me, y/n”. He said.

She grab his length, Steve on the other hand was way to focused of her breasts, she stroke him a couple of times, Steve was moaning and when she put him against her entrance he took a deep breath, feeling all of her, bitting his lip. She stayed static for a while, just kissing Steve.

“I’m gonna start moving”. Steve moved his head side to side. “Stay like this, just for a while”.

He cup her cheeks and kissed her, slowly, he smile.

“Move”. He said.

She started to move up and down, moaning at every move. Steve was a mess underneath her, helping her move her hips and slowly playing with her nipples, made dark marks in the valley of her breasts.

“Steve…” she breath out.

“I know, keep moving, I’m close too”.

The movement’s started to get erratic while the both started getting closer to their realese. Steve kissed her while he moved inside with deep trust, he and y/n kissed with eager, moaning in each other’s mouths.

“Fuck…” Steve said and kept pushing inside her to help her reach her high. Steve came inside her but she still moved trying to reach her own realese.

His hand reach between them and whit his tumb started to stimulate her clit and that send her over the edge. She moaned loud close to his ear and that sound could make him come right there again.

“I will never get enough of this, of you”.

“Steve, what are we doing is so fucking wrong. You have a girlfriend”. Steve nodded while he help her get up and dress.

“I know”. Steve looked at the floor.

“This is the last time, Steve”.

“Ok. Then, can we cuddle and watch a movie, for the last time?”. Steve asked and she nodded.

[end of flashback]

“I will leave her”. Steve said.

“Words, how little they mean when you are a little too late”. She said letting go of his embrace. “You need to leave. I only have tonight to pack up”.

“Don’t leave, please”. Steve was begging.

“Don’t do this. Please. I just can’t believe you don’t see how much this is hurting me. I’m picking up the pieces that you just leave there, and I hate the way I love you, and I hate that I still care”. Steve looked hurt. Truly hurt. Little tears on the corner of his eyes.

She closed the door, rested her body against the hard and cold wood, breaking in a million pieces.

[ 1 year after ]

“Three weeks!”. Steve screamed.

“She didn’t want to tell anyone, Steve. And I as her best friend decided to not say anything”. Dustin said proud.

“Henderson, c’mon. You know how much I missed her. Now that she’s back everything will be okay again”. Steve assured, more to himself than to Dustin.

“She’s inside”. Dustin moved aside to let him in.

“Oh. Thank you. You didn’t have to”. Her voice. Steve felt butterflies.

It was her, all along.

“Hi”. He said.

Y/n looked at him, still mesmerized by all of him, still with the feelings all over her, taking her. She got up from the table and walk towards him, Steve was frozen in place, waiting.

“I missed you, idiot”. Y/n said finally hugged him.

“I missed you too, beautiful”. Steve breath out.

“Dustin and I have to run some errands. Close when you finish and thank you for watching over Dustin and her friends”. Dustin’s mom said while she leaved.

“Babysitting?”. Steve asked.

“Yes. How you know I was here?”. She asked.

“Your mom told me. I can’t believe you been back for three weeks and you didn’t went to see me”. Steve said disappointed.

“In my defense I was still a bit angry about the way we left things, and I needed time”. She was looking at the floor.

“Now I’m hole again, since you been gone it’s like a piece of me was missing, y/n. I know we didn’t end up in good terms but I think this is all we have know, this moment, the longing. When you left I told her it was over”. Steve said the last words breathing weakly.

“I thought you should know I never wanted closure. All I wanted was you, I’m sorry for leaving”. Y/n was a bout to cry.

“You don’t have to be sorry, y/n. I’m sorry it took too long for me to realize how much I was in love with you”. Steve said and finally kissed her.

“Steve…”

“Uhm, yes?”. He said breaking the kiss.

“Maybe this time we go slow”. She said.

“Of course, so, first date at your favorite coffee place. Sounds good?”. He proposed.

“Yes, Steve”. She smiled.

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

Thanks for the support. 💛

#steve harrington imagine #steve harrington #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x y/n #joe keery #stranger things #stranger things imagine #taylor swift #gracie abrams #halsey #lyrics

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2hightocare · 2 months

Text

LOVE WAGER! 01

Synopsis: Meeting a crazy stranger who cuts in line, tries to tell you love like the books doesn’t exist—it’s whatever. You won’t ever see him again… right?

Pairings: jungkook x fem!reader

Genre: college au. strangers to friends to lovers. forced proximity.

Warnings: mentions of divorce parents, Jungkook lowkey being insufferable, banter, cussing, a little bit of them being enemies, nicknames, oc being a hopeless romantic at heart, Jungkook being lowkey a cynic… them meeting each other so many times, choking!

a/n: first chapter out!! Woohoo, I’ve been keeping them close to my heart for quite some time. Ever since I listened to “in between” by Gracie Abrams.. I was inspired to write them—the song is so them coded.💌

★ masterlist!

3 years ago…

You were a hopeless romantic.

Most people called it being delusional— by people, you mean the random stranger in front of you.

The first time you met Jungkook, not only did he cut in front of you in line, but he also started shit-talking about how delusional you had to be to think romance books were even remotely comparable to real life.

The line at the cupcake shop was long. You had been wanting to try the new chocolate-covered strawberry flavor from your favorite cupcake shop in the city. The shop was always full, but today it was packed to the bone— the line almost reached outside the door. The people sitting at the cute pastel-colored tables were even leaving because the space was getting so crowded.

It was a Friday, and you had just left school. Your black backpack hung loosely over one shoulder as you stared down at your phone, trying not to die playing Subway Surfers. When your phone died, you internally groaned.

You mentally rolled your eyes before looking forward, where the line was starting to move faster. You were probably the fourth person in line, which was good since you'd only been there for around twenty minutes. You slipped your phone into the back pocket of your jeans before reaching for the zipper of your backpack—pulling out the latest book you hadn’t finished reading amidst all the assignments teachers had been bombarding you with. You thought it was dumb, considering it was your senior year in high school—why not just let you off easy?

You zipped up your backpack before slipping it on, tucking in the small hair that fell into your face when you opened your book. You moved forward as the line advanced, not bothered by the conversations from everyone around you—it was like your own brown noise, which you usually looked up on YouTube whenever you wanted to act like the main character in a movie.

Romance books were your thing. The same went for movies; you loved a good romantic story with the most cliché plot in the world—it did it for you every single time.

Your dad had tried getting you into self-help books, fiction books, or even those thriller books where you had to guess who kills who. He would back this up with actually learning something from reading a book, and you tried all those genres, you really did. You were the most specific girl there could be; if the book didn't impress you within one chapter, you closed it and moved on.

You were basically in love with the idea of love, imagining someone doing all those things you had seen in movies and read about, which filled you with hope that someone could care and love you that way. Yes, you believed in soulmates; you believed that someone, somewhere in this world, was destined to be with you, no matter the circumstances. You believed that if two people were destined for each other, they would find a way to each other, one way or another.

“Hi, baby, you still haven’t ordered? The line is so fucking long.” A strange boy, who looked around your age or maybe slightly older due to his eyebrow piercing, spoke up. He had a navy blue cap with the Yankees logo on the front, and you could see small pieces of his hair. It looked like a dark brown, but at some angles, it looked black, so you thought maybe he dyed it. He was cute, with a sharp jaw and dimples, which you immediately noticed when they showed on his left cheek as he bit his lip, waiting for you to reply.

“I’m sorry—“ you started, only to be cut off by him. “I've been meaning to show you this, babe.” He cut you off before basically shoving his phone into your face. His phone showed his notes app open with a text that read, ‘Please act like you know me so I can cut in line; it’s so long, and I have somewhere to be.’

Your brows furrowed at the pleading guy. You had no clue what his name was, but he looked like he was seriously about to lose his mind if he had to wait another minute in line. You shook your head before nodding— a smile burst on his face.

“Thank you,” he mouthed to you, to which you only shrugged before closing your book. “What flavor are you getting, lovebug?” He said, his nose scrunching in disgust at what he just said. A small laugh escaped your lips since that was the cringiest shit you had heard all day, maybe even all week if you didn’t count your dad trying to write you a poem about his love for your cat.

“I want to get the new chocolate-covered strawberry flavor. What about you?” You said, your fingers fidgeting with the pages of your closed book. His eyes dropped to your hands as you moved up in line, now second in line.

“Is that your book?” He said instead of replying to your question. “Yeah, do you read?” A spike of excitement was clear in your face and voice, only to be squashed when he opened his mouth.

“Do you actually believe anything in there is remotely realistic?” He said nonchalantly before removing his cap, letting his fluffy hair fall in his face before almost immediately collecting it back, placing his cap backward this time.

“I—“ you stutter, your mouth slightly agape, not knowing how to reply without sounding dumb. Because, yeah, you strongly believed romance books were able to happen in real life if someone loved you enough. “Well.. I mean, love happens anywhere,” you shrug, but he only nods his head in a condescending way. Not only were you helping him skip in line—he was basically criticizing your view on love.

“Well, duh, love happens, but all that cringey shit is the dumbest thing our generation normalized. Like, nobody is going to confess their love with a microphone in the middle of a dance-off,” he scoffs. You didn’t understand why he actually looked like he seriously hated the idea of making gestures for someone you loved or cared about.

“Well, obviously, I find that stupid as well, but there are other gestures to show your appreciation and love for someone.” You turn your whole body to face him. He’s not much taller than you, maybe two inches if you really wanted to know, and the cap maybe added another inch, but that didn’t matter since your eyesight was eye level with his.

“Love is embarrassing,” he says, crossing his arms in front of him. You felt the lady behind you both, her eyes bore into you both, trying to figure out why the supposed couple were fighting about love.

“How is love embarrassing?” You scoff before turning around to look in front of you, at the back of the head of the man who was ordering.

“Because love makes you do embarrassing shit all the time; that’s the easiest way I can put it for you, ribbons,” he replies with a duh tone, raising his eyebrows at you, which you see from your peripheral vision.

“Ribbons?” You turn to him, your arms crossed over your book as you glare at him. “Pink ribbon. Don’t you think you look a little too old to be wearing bows?” A grin appears on his face as he casually points to the pink ribbon tied into a bow in your hair.

“The fuck? Not only did I let you skip the line, but you’re a) talking shit about my favorite genre, and b) making fun of me wearing bows.” You turn your full body to him, which he only raises his hands in defense, as if you had a gun pointed at him.

“Damn, my bad. I thought this was a free country; you know your amendments, right?” He raises an eyebrow at you. “Yes, I fucking know my amendments,” you reply, absolutely annoyed at him bringing history into this.

“Freedom of speech,” he says before walking in front of you to the cashier. You were annoyed, maybe even angry. How dare he talk shit and say freedom of speech when you just did him a favor.

“He cut in front of me,” you point to him as you tell on him to the cashier, his jaw dropping to the floor. “Did you just tell on me? What the fuck,” he side-eyes you as you just shrugged.

“I respectfully need to ask you to go to the back of the line,” the cashier says, shooting you an apologetic look. You bite on the inside of your cheek to contain the smile that is threatening to slip out, as he sends you a mocking face, which you return, because apparently, you both were literal children. He rolled his eyes before he walked off.

2 years ago..

The second time you met Jungkook, you almost died due to choking on your coke.

You and your best-friend, Amelia, sat in a booth, munching on pizza, while you hear her ramble about the latest drama on campus.

“I can’t believe he cheated on her. I was so shocked, like I couldn’t believe he would do that after he literally gave her a promise ring—I heard it was expensive as well, bro,” Amelia said, stuffing a French fry in her mouth.

Amelia and you had been best friends since your freshman year at Preston University. She ended up in your dorm room by mistake, until security escorted her to her corresponding room. You both even had your calculus class together, which ended in both of you ripping your hair out because you truly had no clue what the professor was talking about.

“Oh my god, you’re lying!” you gasped, taking a bite of your folded pizza. “Alexandra said she didn’t care, but apparently, she was crying at the frat party we were supposed to go to yesterday,” Amelia said, pressing her lips together with wide eyes. As you were about to reply, she gasped.

“Holy shit, babes, don’t turn around, but there’s this fine-ass guy behind you,” she said. Without thinking you turned your whole body to look at the guy she was talking about.

“Or just turn your whole body, I don't care,” she added, rolling her eyes.

“Wait, who?” you asked, staring at the group of boys in front of you. They were all cute, just not your type whatsoever. “He just turned around, so you can’t see his face, but the one with the black beanie,” Amelia whispered to you as she took a sip of her Dr Pepper.

As you stared at the back of the boy who was engrossed in a conversation with his friend, a loud laugh escaped his lips before he threw his head back, letting you catch a glimpse of his face.

“Oh, fuck, his laugh is hot as fuck as well,” Amelia said behind you, chewing on her crispy fries. “Do you think he has a girlfrien—“ The words melted from your mouth as the beanie boy turned around. “Yeah, he definitely has a girlfriend,” Amelia said nonchalantly, clearly not catching how your eyes widened, as you both stare at the boy who had cut in front of you in line three years ago.

He was taller, much taller, and he was built—you could tell even from his oversized long-sleeve shirt. As much as you wanted to disagree, he was undeniably attractive. The eyebrow piercing was still there, but it somehow looked better than when you first saw it.

“Ribbons?” he said, pointing at you with a chuckle, making you flinch for absolutely no reason. Amelia looked between both of you, trying to read the room.

“Mr. anti-romantic?” You fired back, a huge smile breaking out on his face before he excused himself from his friend group and made his way to your booth. “I see you got a nickname for me... I feel honored,” he said, pressing a palm to his heart dramatically before shooting a nod at Amelia, who waved with a small smile on her face.

You just rolled your eyes. He was the most childish person you had ever met, and that says a lot since this was only the second time you'd ever spoken to him. “I wouldn’t be so honored,” you mumbled, shooting him a tight-lipped smile as he shook his head with a low chuckle.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” Amelia said out of nowhere, both you and the unknown boy's heads snap to the side as a smirk makes it’s way to his mouth, while you throw daggers at Amelia with your eyes for her blunt question. “I doubt he would ever hav—“ you start, only to be rudely interrupted by none other than Mr. anti-romantic himself.

“I actually do, and I was just about to meet her here, but I saw your friend and just had to come and say hello,” he said to your best friend, all while wearing a condescending smile.

“Oof, I feel bad for her,” you shrugged, before placing the straw of your clear cup in your mouth and sipping on your coke.

“Eh, she says I’m a pretty good boyfriend, not a hopeless romantic like someone I know,” he said, watching your eyes meet his before you tilted your head in a mocking way, which he picked up immediately.

“I wonder how you even got her to say yes to you,” you bit back, your eyes maintaining contact with his, not wanting to be the first to break it. But he was too good at it; you almost felt like crumbling into a ball from how intense his stare was.

“I guess you could say there are more ways to please a woman without love letters,” he said nonchalantly. You choked on your coke as the liquid went down the wrong pipe, making you start having a coughing attack.

His and Amelia’s eyes widened as Amelia immediately swatted the man who was right beside you. His hand made contact with your arm, raising it up in the air.

“The fuck are you doing?” Amelia said aggressively, side-eyeing him, as you basically died in front of their wondering eyes. You really didn’t expect him to just talk about his sexual life so openly without a care. You would want to crawl into a hole if your boyfriend ever talked about your private moments like that to anyone.

“My mom said if you put someone’s hand up, it makes your cough go away. I don’t fucking know! I’m not a doctor,” he shot back at your best friend as he raised your arm in the air. Your cough slightly disappeared as you tapped on your chest as if that would do anything to stop it.

“Are you good?” Amelia said as she basically hovered over the table. You felt the whole dinner's eyes on you as you tried to recover from the insane coughing fit you just had. “Y-yeah, fuck,” you coughed, your arms still up in the air from his hold. “I almost for real thought you were about to die. I already imagined myself behind bars,” he said, rubbing his unoccupied hand through his face with a sigh.

“Now I’m hoping I actually died,” you said, yanking your arm away from his grasp.

“We’re leaving, Amelia. Let’s go,” you said, standing up, collecting your jacket and bag, and pushing him out of the way, standing up beside him.

He hovered over you; you almost wanted to jump up to reach his height, but you were already embarrassed enough. So instead, you fixed your denim skirt before looking up at him.

“Well, it was so not nice to see you again, and hopefully we don’t get to meet again, Mr. anti-romantic. Goodbye,” you said as you sent him a fake smile his way.

You pulled on Amelia’s hand before she could say anything and walked out of the dining room without looking back at the boy who was standing in the same place, watching the girl he almost witnessed pass away by choking on coke from him even remotely bringing up sex.

A small chuckle left past his lips as he made his way to the table where his friends were seated.

“Dude, what the fuck happened? Why was that pretty girl coughing like crazy?” Taehyung said, eyeing the door through which you had just left.

Jungkook didn’t know why his heart picked up when his best friend called you pretty. He wasn’t blind; you were beautiful. When he first met you, you both were obviously much younger. If it wasn’t for how much you had grown into your face and the braces you once had were long gone, it would’ve been your aura that gave it away. You were more outspoken, which kinda took him back but sent a sense of excitement through his body.

“No clue. Just some girl I met in my senior year... kinda taken aback I ran into her again,” Jungkook said before picking up the menu from the table, looking for what food he should order. “Maybe it’s fate, bro,” Namjoon teased, which made Jungkook drop his menu on the table.

“You guys know all that shit is bullshit, right? It was just a coincidence. I’ll probably never see her again after this,” Jungkook rolled his eyes, leaning backward onto the booth and crossing his arms in front of him defensively.

“Whatever you say, champion,” Hoseok whistled as he called the waitress.

Jungkook's brain immediately canceled out the noise as he started running through all the possible scenarios that would leave you both at the same place at the same time. His body shook from the possibility of it being fate; he hated the idea of the answer being anything besides actual proven fact. He didn’t care how cynical he might sound; he had trusted so many people in his life, including his parents, who always preached about love and honesty. But flash forward to him having to skip around each house of his parents every weekday and weekend. He hated how he believed them when they said love can get through everything. Absolutely not—divorce.

He just imagined your perfect household, two parents at the same home who still say ‘I love you’ to each other every chance they get. You get to read your books in your living room without a fight breaking out out of nowhere just because someone forgot to throw the trash out.

Love didn’t exist in his eyes. He believed in mutual respect. He doesn’t believe in the whole crazy in love charade. His girlfriend Haneul didn’t really want the whole whispering cute things in each other's ears or dancing under the moon either, and that’s why he chose her.

Plus, he wasn’t an asshole when it came to love when it came to other people. Did he want to ruin their moment and tell them they wouldn’t last? Yes—but he never does.

He saw how broken his mom was after the divorce. He thought about the idea of love and if someone came to love you, you would do anything in your power to not hurt them. It had been five years since his parents’ divorce, and everyone seemed to have moved on perfectly, while Jungkook watched how his perspective of love changed drastically over time.

He was glad that you didn’t have to go through what he had to go through, given your obvious naivety. That was entirely the only reason he shit-talked about love when he first met you, which was the most jackass move he could’ve done, especially after you let him skip the line. But after you told on him to the cashier like a little child, he was thinking of actually tackling you.

Either way, it didn’t matter for him to be worrying or thinking about you in the first place, when he didn’t even know your name. Plus, he would never see you again, that’s for sure.

Present day..

Psychology class was your number one nemesis. You literally begged the counselor to let you have another class that wasn’t psychology. Not only did he laugh, but he said it would do you good. In your mind, he basically called you crazy—maybe you did need the class after all.

As you huffed and puffed to your last class of the day, you fixed your glasses on your face and tightened the high ponytail with the white ribbon that matched the outfit Amelia helped you pick out. You pushed open the door to the class and were greeted by half-empty seats and no professor, giving you the option to choose where you sat.

You were a middle-seat row girl, unable to see far away without your glasses. You also avoided sitting too close to the front, fearing teachers would call on you.

As you took a seat in the chair, a body sat beside you without a word. You didn’t even care to look as you took out your laptop from your backpack, worrying about how this year’s professor might be. You had heard from last year’s students that the teacher might have been the devil’s spawn.

While you were finally seated, you moved your head to your left to see the body next to you engrossed in their phone. Your jaw dropped as you were met with none other than Mr. Anti-Romantic.

“What the actual fuck, are you stalking me or something?” you said, absolutely baffled by how many times you had run into him and from all the empty seats, he decided to sit next to you.

He immediately raised his head from his phone, his eyes widening as he stared at your obviously angry face. “Ribbons? What the actual fuck, I didn’t realize that was you,” he said, throwing his head back in shock.

“You had to know it was me, why else would you sit beside me?” you scoffed, crossing your arms in front of you. He looked the same as the last time you saw him, except now he had a full sleeve of tattoos on his right arm, and the eyebrow piercing was long gone.

Now that he was closer to you, you could see the small mole he had under his lip and the scar on his cheek. His hair was shorter and black, but classroom lights deceived, so maybe it was fully brown, but you didn’t dare to ask.

“Don’t think you’re special, Ribbons. I just can’t see from the back, and in the front, teachers always pick on you to talk in front of the class, and I’m trying to avoid that,” he explained, having the same process as you, but unfortunately, the other half of his brain didn’t process the idea of love.

“Are you sure you have the right class?” you bit out, hoping he had walked into the wrong class and would have to leave immediately. You seriously couldn’t even wrap your head around the fact that he was here and that he went to the same university as you—this being the first time he had seen you around campus.

“Psychology class A65,” he side-eyed you as you rolled your eyes and faced the board, trying your best to ignore his presence.

“You know you can just move to another seat, right?” he said, pointing to all the empty seats beside you. Your head slowly turned to the side to face his face as he gave you a tight-lipped smile.

“Why would I move when I was here first?” you scoffed his way as he shrugged, indicating that he couldn’t care less. “’Cause I truly don’t care, but you obviously seem affected by my presence, so Ribbons, pick your seat,” he pointed to the available seats.

You imagined the easiest way you could kill someone, but tackling him to the ground at this exact moment might bring attention to you both, so you just breathed out of your nose before giving him a fake smile and rolling your eyes.

“I’m not leaving, and for your information, I’m perfectly fine and not bothered by your presence whatsoever,” you said, trying your best to seem as calm and collected as possible.

“For your information…” he mocked beside you, trying to imitate your voice before chuckling. “I swear, Ribbons, I can see smoke coming out of your ears and nose,” he laughed.

“Stop calling me Ribbons,” you gritted your teeth, already at your limit.

“What else do you want me to call you? I don’t know your name, and you’re still wearing ribbons, I can see,” Mr. Anti-Romantic pointed to the white ribbon in your hair. You rolled your eyes before sending his calm, collected figure a scanty smile.

“Y/n,” you said, tilting your head to the side, as if asking him to tell you his name. “I like Mr. Anti-Romantic, not gonna lie,” he bit his lip, trying to contain his laughter as you were about to lose your composure at any moment.

“You aggravate me, and I don’t know why,” you mumbled, hoping he didn’t hear—but he did, loud and clear. “Jeon Jungkook,” he said, and before you could reply, the professor strode in, wearing the weirdest clothes you could imagine.

“She looks like that one crazy Victorious teacher,” he whispered softly, only for you to hear, smugly bending downward so you could hear better. A small laugh left your lips. “Sikowitz?” you whispered back as both of you stared forward at the professor, who was talking about the syllabus. “Yeah, spot the difference: hard level,” he whispered.

You looked down at your hands, trying to hide the amusement on your face.

For the rest of the class, you guys didn’t talk whatsoever, and honestly, you wouldn’t know if he tried, since you were absorbed in whatever Mrs. Calderon was saying.

“So, here’s where you start hating me, I’m giving you guys a project,” she said, leaning on her desk, making the desk creak. You could hear small groans from students around you, but not loud enough for her to hear.

“It will be a partner project, which I chose randomly, and no, I’m not changing them. I want you guys to be able to work with whomever, no matter what,” she said, a sense of dread passing through you.

“I would email each and every one of you what the project is about. It is due at the end of the quarter, so I better not hear, ‘I didn’t have time, Miss,’” Mrs. Calderon said before picking up a sheet of paper.

"Here are the partners, so after class, come and check who your partner is so you can start talking about what you both will do." With that the bell ringing, everyone stood up and rushed to the paper, including yourself. You held tightly onto your backpack strap as you waited for people to move out of the way—half of the people bitched about who they got, they couldn’t possibly be that bad.

Your heart dropped to your ass as you read your name—Jungkook squished beside you, looking for his name, only to find it where your finger was already on.

You got paired up with Jungkook. What kind of fuckery was this?

As Jungkook read "Y/n Y/ln & Jeon Jungkook," he couldn’t believe his eyes. He almost lost his mind when he realized it was you when he sat next to you, but he tried his best to act unaffected. However, this was too much of a "fuck you" sign from the universe—Jungkook didn’t think he did something so horribly to be rewarded like this.

What the fuck were the odds, and how could he scientifically prove that it’s not the universe trying to mess with him?

Taglist💌— @httpjeonlicious @thekookiedealer @somehowukook @taiwan0618 @gwsjungkookie @seokout @sealuv79 @junecat18 @joonsanswer @letjungcoook7 @skzthinker @ahgasegotarmy116recs @ivygguk (I couldn’t add some idk why😓)

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wttcsms · 10 months

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it always leads to you, masterlist ; sae itoshi

sae itoshi has long since prepared himself for a lifetime of disappointment and crushed dreams ever since he stepped foot in spain and realized the world was bigger than just his hometown in japan. what he doesn't prepare for is being 27 and on the most uncomfortable plane ride to move back home. now, he has to adjust to living with his career-ending injury, licking his wounds, and having to face everything and everyone he's spent so hard trying to run away from. including you, the girl whose heart he broke, and the mother of his child that he's never met.

pairing sae itoshi x f!reader content contains/will contain timeskip/ex-pro athlete!sae x f!reader, strangers with a history, second chance (more like hundredth chance) romance, high school sweethearts to exes to toxic long distance situationship to awkward co-parents to lovers (relationship status: it's complicated), pregnancy, child plays a role in the fic, nsfw content/porn with plot, character study into sae, more to be added word count tbd... (estimated to be ~50k at completion, subject to change)

prologue / one / two / three / four

track list ! renegade, big red machine ft. taylor swift / cardigan, taylor swift / betty, taylor swift / exile, taylor swift / two people, gracie abrams / the last time, taylor swift / tis the damn season, taylor swift / this is me trying, taylor swift / best, gracie abrams / right where you left me, taylor swift / you're losing me, taylor swift / i know you, faye webster / nobody gets me, sza / night shift, lucy dacus / always, daniel caesar / the alcott, the nation ft. taylor swift / keep that to yourself, tristan / things i wish you said, sabrina carpenter

#sae itoshi x you #sae itoshi x reader #itoshi sae x reader #blue lock headcanons #blue lock x reader #blue lock smut #sae itoshi smut #angst #fluff #bllk x reader #this fic is sooooo taylor coded #series: it always leads to you

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spiriteddreams · 11 months

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Forever

— "You said forever, and I almost bought it / I still love you, I promise.” (Gracie Abrams) Pairing: Jing Yuan x Reader Warnings: angst, happy ending (i promise) Word Count: ~2.3k

Forever is just a word. Sickly sweet off the tongue and a hard pill to swallow even after years, the wind returns to whisper it in your ear when you see him again. He stands at the other end of the room, talking to strangers and old friends with ease. He commands the attention of the room without having to ask, people gravitating towards him and showering him with praise and well wishes. Jing Yuan is a natural leader, graced with a lazy and a reassuring smile and warm tone that soothes over the worries of the soldiers that he commands. Once upon a time, that warm tone filled the privacy of your room, four closed off walls where you lay buried beneath sheets and tangled limbs with someone who made a promise he couldn’t keep. Your chest tightens at the thought and you allow yourself a moment longer to watch from a distance.

They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder and yet you can’t tell if this feeling in your chest is fondness, heartbreak, or something more cruel. A part of you misses him. You miss the soft caress of calloused fingers tracing along your skin, drawing invisible patterns forever inked in swirls and asymmetrical hearts. You miss the late nights with bottles of alcohol tucked beneath coats as you snuck away from gatherings. You miss him.

Attending a party hosted by Yukong would no doubt mean seeing him, and yet that selfish part of you crept up and goaded you into accepting the invitation. It hadn’t helped that sweet Yanqing had run into you at a cafe just two weeks prior, eager eyed and brimming with excitement as he asked if you would attend. So you find yourself dressed in something nice and swiped a glass of something bubbly from the nearest platter upon entering. The drink is bittersweet on your lips, but the alcohol is warm as it washes down your throat. You wonder if you look like a mess, failing to be put together as you duck away from conversations and steer clear of his path. That doesn’t stop you from looking over to where he stands. It’s impossible not to glance over when his booming laughter catches the eyes of all.

He looks happy, you think to yourself. You grimace at the thought but can’t help but steal another glance. He looks good. And as an ex-lover, it’s not quite something you want to acknowledge because there’s a part of you that wishes that maybe he hasn’t quite moved on yet either. Two months is barely any time at all in the long span of life on the Xianzhou Luofu. It is nothing in the length of your relationship with Jing Yuan. But you wish that two months would become two years, then two hundred, and then maybe, his face would just be a blur in the back of your mind.

“(y/n), you’re here,” you pause in your hurried steps, standing up straight as you steel yourself. Seeing him from afar is one thing, seeing him standing in front of you is another. “Yukong said you might bail at the last minute.”

“Were you hoping I would?” the words come out before you can stop them. Apologies spill from your lips and Jing Yuan clears his throat, an amused smile tugging up on his lips. It’s unfair that he looks so put together when you’re falling apart in front of him. It’s humiliating.

“Would you be surprised if I said I was hoping you wouldn’t? I wanted to see you again. It feels like it’s been forever,” he steps closer. You want to scoff at his choice of words. How ironic of him. Forever.

“You said forever and I almost bought it,” you shake your head. “Is this another one of your thought out conversations that will go your way?” He doesn’t look fazed at your accusation. But something shifts in his eyes and his smile becomes more strained. His eyes search yours and you lift your chin higher and the tension around you both grows. You’re acutely aware of the looks that people shoot the two of you as they pass by, no doubt trying to catch a word of what the General and his ex-lover might have to say to one another. Anxiety festers in your chest. It was a mistake to come. The sooner you get away from this conversation, the sooner you can find Yukong and make your exit.

A cruel part of you wonders if this was all part of a plan that he had crafted. You wouldn’t be surprised if it was. After all, Jing Yuan is known for brilliant strategies that can win on the battlefield and in the game of politics. He’s always been a strategist, carefully crafting his words and attacks to strike with force. It’s one of the many lessons you’ve learned from him. When you stay by Jing Yuan’s side long enough, you learn how his brain works, how he chooses to move pawns across the board to achieve victory, how he shuts down opposition in meetings and how he shows you how he loves. The best, or perhaps worst you’ve learned is how to strike where it hurts with words that dig beneath the surface and burst beneath the skin, leaving a gaping wound that bleeds insecurities.

You wonder, when did all the lessons you learned turn to weapons against your heart. It’s not easy to love a general, it’s harder to love someone like Jing Yuan at that, someone who throws himself into work and occasionally forgets to take care of himself, to take care of you. You heard the rumours, the cruel words behind your back when you left his office in the middle of the day, humiliation painted clear as day across your face. Your own worries twisted into claims of being too overbearing and as his office watched in shocked silence as he sent you out in silence, the ground swallowed you up whole.

“My apologies, I didn’t mean to bring up unpleasant memories,” he says gently. You bite the inside of your cheek and shake your head. There’s no point in starting something ugly in the midst of a party. That would only draw more attention to you both, and that was the last thing either of you needed.

“It was nice to see you again—”

“Do you want to speak elsewhere?”

You both speak at the same time before erupting into coughs and muffled apologies. It feels so childish, the way you both stand in front of one another and attempt to speak. It’s a reminder of first meetings, first dates, first loves. Look where it’s left you now.

“You don’t have anywhere else to be? Other friends to catch up with?” you question, stealing a look around at the crowd of people around you. Everyone is either far too busy conversing with one another or navigating through the crowd. You catch the eyes of nosy onlookers who turn away in a split second, embarrassed at having been caught.

Jing Yuan hums thoughtfully, “You’re the only one I’d like to catch up with.” He holds out his hand, a silent invitation for you to join. You shoot him a suspicious look, but the warm expression on his features is anything but skeptical. There’s no doubt he has some ulterior motive to this, but you allow yourself another moment of selfishness as you take his hand and allow him to tug you away from the crowd. You have no doubt that the rumours will immediately circulate the moment the doors click shut behind you.

“Forget about what everyone else will say,” his voice is a low murmur as he leads you outside. You forget that after having known him for so long, after having been with him for so long, it’s hard to hide some of the thoughts that he seems to be able to read. But you stay silent and follow after him, keeping up with his long, hurried strides as if he were in a rush. And when he finally slows down, you finally register where he’s taken you. A familiar pavilion with the sight of the Ambrosial Arbor in the background, far from the prying ears of gossip hungry people and onlookers with cameras at the ready. A place that you had once found solace in with him before it was swept away.

“Do you remember this place?” he glances over at you wryly.

You don’t humour him and snap back, “Are you playing some sort of game with me?” Jing Yuan has the nerve to look amused and you fist your hands at your side, seconds away from throwing a punch at that pretty face of his. If he wasn’t the General of the Xianxhou Luofu, you would have no qualms giving him a piece of your mind. But alas, in public, and the fact that everyone back at the party knew he had left with you, would only spark more rumours.

“General, what’s going on?” you drop part of your facade, exasperation dripping from your tone as your turn to face him fully. He doesn’t look at you, body weight leaning against the rails as he stares at the ancient tree.

“You haven’t called me that in a long time,” he hums.

You narrow your eyes. “That’s not the point,” you step closer, well aware that you’re about to cross dangerous territory. Jing Yuan is playing a game, a touchy one at that, and you’ve fallen right into it. This tightrope like situation that you’ve found yourself in is no doubt a plan he’s devised on his own and there’s a small part of you that fears what his next move will be. “Stop playing with me. I’m not some sort of stupid game to you anymore.”

“You’ve never been a game to me,” his words are quiet, but heavy as he glances over to you, furrowed eyes searching yours. “You don’t think I’ve been toying with you all this time, do you?”

You refuse to say anything. Deep down you know that Jing Yuan truly did care. That doesn’t mean you are willing to let go of your pride just yet.

“You’ve never been a game to me. Don’t you ever believe that.” Jing Yuan turns to face you fully and you lean back, surprised at his sudden actions. “I made mistakes, I know that. And I’m sorry for all that I put you through. I never meant to humiliate you.”

“That doesn’t change the face that you still did it,” you hate that the memories seem to wash back over you again. The feeling of tears prickling in the corner of your eyes as you stand in a room of people, his booming voice silencing yours, crushing you under the weight of his stare. What started as a suggestion to his plan of action, turned to your own personal concerns for his well being as tensions began to rise between you, him, and all the other people in the room. And when he finally cracked down, booming voice sharp and decisive as he ordered you to stop worrying about things that were of none of your concern, you felt that string snap. Silence enveloped the room as everyone else turned away. Perhaps you shouldn’t have let yourself become carried away with personal feelings, but how could you not have, when he was about to put his life on the line and was laying out his plan in front of you, his lover.

“You said all of those cruel things in front of everyone,” your voice wavers. Jing Yuan takes a step forward. Then another, reaching for your hand as you hastily pull back. “You kept going and all I did was sit there and take it. So how could I not think that this was all some stupid game to you?!” You know you sound unreasonable, that the pieces don’t quite connect, but that bubbling fury that’s risen has already spilled over the top. And seeing him again doesn’t make anything better. Two months is not enough time in the long span of things for you to fully come to terms with all that’s happened, and avoiding him has only made the situation worse. You let thoughts fester as you ignore his texts, cry yourself to sleep as unopened letters sit on your bedside table collecting dust with every waking day.

Before you can speak again, Jing Yuan crushes you in a hug, large hands finding their place around you as he tucks you into his body, ignorant of the way you protest weakly and tell him to stop acting like this when people might see.

“You don’t get it, do you?” his breath is shaky on your neck as he holds you. “The expression on your face has haunted me since that day. I didn’t know what to say when you showed up the next day to end things. I thought it would be for the best. I don’t deserve your forgiveness so soon, not after that, but please, Aeons please, know that I’m so sorry.” You don’t make a move to return his embrace but your relax in his hold. As if sensing your hesitation, he loosens his grip but doesn’t quite let you go, running his hands down your arms until he holds your hand. He looks vulnerable and rattled and it’s a rather unsettling sight to see him lose his composure like so.

“I miss you, I’m sorry.”

“General—”

“Jing Yuan.”

You sigh, “Jing Yuan.” He looks up at you and you sigh.

“If you’re going to break my heart, please, just lie to me one more time,” he begs.

“I’m not going to break your heart,” you say carefully. “I think it’s safe to say that neither of us have moved on. Or at least, really tried.” His grip on you tightens, as if afraid that you might pull away and leave him for real. “I’m willing to give this, us, another shot.” Your words are hesitant and he hears the uncertainty in your voice, but it’s enough for him. You’ve always been enough for him.

“I still love you, I promise,” he whispers. “And I promise I’ll keep this, forever.”

reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated <3 a/n: i start work again tmrw pray for my 40hr weeks about to start + trying to have a super fun summer

#honkai star rail #hsr #honkai star rail x reader #jing yuan x reader #hsr x reader #jing yuan #honkai star rail angst #spiriteddreams writing #spiriteddreams

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scuderiadream · 7 months

Text

invisible string

reader x charles leclerc

⊹ ࣪ ˖ summary : the expression "invisible string" alludes to a traditional chinese tale about a crimson thread of destiny binding two people together, this recounts the beginning of reader and charles' love affair, which saw them go from being complete strangers to falling in love and discovering that they were connected by an invisible string

⊹ ࣪ ˖ faceclaim : gracie abrams

⊹ ࣪ ˖ author note : this might be kinda? long idk? but yea please enjoy!! sorry if this is just flopping and ou if u have any reqs dont be shy and request! bcos i'm kinda running out of idea here ahah 🥹

ᝰ masterlist

y/n and charles love story begin back then during the 2022 monaco grand prix, they were a complete stranger until one day y/n's father decided to held a very fancy gala in monaco just before the race day. charles leclerc was one of the many millionaires and celebrities her father invited to his gala. charles politely accepted the invitation, and when he showed up at the gala, he was astounded by y/n's appearance in general. naturally, one thing led to another, and they eventually went on dates and invited y/n to his races, which resulted in their most romantic relationship ever.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆

liked by charles_leclerc, username and 7.739 others f1wagshq y/n and charles spotted toegether in monaco! the couple looks like they spent an amazing day together <3

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username ugh they look SOOO good together

username not charles liking this..i need his level of selfishness

username i want her to step on me tbh

⤷ charles_leclerc woah, back off mate

⤷ username HELPP THE JEALOUSY

username i wanna have that y/n and charles kinda love

charles_leclerc added to their story!

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆

after their romantic stroll around the city of monaco, y/n and charles enjoyed each other's company as they talk about their childhood or thier past life.

y/n pov :

i can feel his warmth body wrapping around mine as i linked my arm around his, walking through the city of monaco. i confessed to him about my childhood and how awesome it was. i told him that i remembered i was sitting on a grass, reading a book at the centennial park i used to think i would meet somebody there and how stupid it sounds.

he made an eye smile as his face lit up like a clueless little kid. "what's wrong? you're smiling like crazy" i said while i tilt my head a little to the side in confusion. as it turns out, he confessed to me that he was there too while on his vacation with his family, he was wearing a teal shirt when.

somehow we ended up laughing and giggling like a crazy person. its amazing how our stories just simply connect, were there clues i didn't see? as if all along there's some invisible string tying him to me?

charles pov :

after a few hours had passed, we continued to talk about our own experiences and how they always connected. i chuckle at how ridiculously foolish it sounds, but i feel like we were meant to be. it's funny how we went from being complete strangers to developing this devoted bond that i never imagined we would, she's what i've always been wanting for.

she sees me for who i am, as if i'm perfect. she opened the door to my heart that i couldn't open for a long time as i feel proud to call her as mine, my girl, mon amour.

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, pierregasly and 357.889 others

yourusername one single thread of gold tied me to you

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username deserves a couple of the year

charles_leclerc you make me un poco loco

⤷ yourusername ??? thanks i guess ??

pierregasly you're doing amazing sweetie

⤷ yourusername pls bringover kika next time we're hanging out

⤷ pierregasly on it ma'am 🫡

username THESE BABY PICS MY GOD THEYRE SO ADORABLE😭

username this is the cutest shit i've ever seen

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whitemancumslut · 1 year

Text

REQUEST ALWAYS OPEN

kiss her & don’t tells= pink

instagram blurb= blue

not released yet/ ☓= red

LONG HAIR HARRY↓

Temporary Fix *

summary During the On the Road Again Tour, Harry uses his bandmate’s girlfriend as a distraction from his previous relationship.

PRINCE HAIR HARRY ↓

Grounded *

summary: in which your boyfriend skips a party to be with you.

Attention Span of A Goldfish *

summary: harry proves his point.

Good Boy *

ask: Subrry so gone that he keeps eating you even after you have already cum and are overstimulated but he can’t stop because he just wants to be a good boy for you 😩 I HOPE YOU ARE WELL

LOVE ON TOUR↓

Harryween *

summary: y/n loves harry’s costume.

Midnights *

summary: in which, harry is horny late into the night.

Orgasm Denial w/ Subbry *

ask: su -susss-sub harry pls mama pls pls PLEASE IM BEGGING BANGING MY FIST AGAINST THE GROUNG

Tripping, Falling

summary: subspace blurb

Happy new year

summary in which harry and y/n celebrate their second new years together and y/n makes a big decision in order to keep her and harry’s relationship alive.

DAD!HARRY↓

Harry’s Daughters

Stranger Things Release + Dating Rumors

Los Angeles Residency 4 and 5

(better together series)

PHH/LHH as a dad

Santa Baby *

summary: In which, the Styles’ family is spending their first Christmas in one their homes, in Y/n’s hometown, Boston.

WORST DADDY EVER

summary in which Angel is upset with her father and calls him the worst dad ever.

LOVE ME LIKE YOU DO *

summary: harry and his wife have kitchen sex

The Start of HS4…

HUSBAND!HARRY

Pregnancy Announcement Extended

Los Angeles Residency 4 and 5

Grammys ‘23

summary harry and y/n are up against each other.

The Start of HS4

SOON TO BE DAD!HARRY

Pregnancy Announcement Extended

NERD!HARRY↓

The Cute Tutor *

summary harry is completely obsessed with y/n. but when harry volunteered to be y/n’s tutor just as an excuse to see her every week, he had no idea having an attraction to someone you’re tutoring would become such torture. but harry is completely oblivious to y/n’s flirtatious manner towards him.

cw: phone sex

BOYFRIEND!HARRY↓

Open *

Best of Friends

summary actress!singer!reader is best friends with the one and only harry styles. many suspect romance between the two… but can you blame them? here are some of their birthday post for each other throughout the years💕 face claim, gracie abrams

Princess Treatment

18+ subspace aftercare with no plot

Subrry x Mean!Y/n

ask: can you please write subrry with mean dom y/n? <33 i feel deprived of subrry lately 😭

Precious *

summary In which Y/n is busy and isn’t able to tend and take care of a small sensitive Harry.

Breed Me *

summary: Harry breeds his wife with baby #2

Sad Harry (blurb)

summary harry’s sad and doesn’t know why.

DAD’S BESTFRIEND!HARRY↓

Beautiful Corruption *

You’re Pretty When You Cry *

CHEATER!HARRY↓

Party Pleaser

summary: where y/n tends to think she can blackmail harry to get what she wants but harry puts her in her place awfully quick by making her plead for a gut wrenching orgasm.

ALL MINE *

PROFESSOR!HARRY↓

Edge of Seventeen

BEST FRIEND’S DAD↓

Relentless *

Better Than Me*

DADDY!HARRY↓

Play Date ft. Zayn Malik *

EX BOYFRIEND!HARRY ↓

BAD KIND OF BUTTERFLIES *

summary:

OLDER!HARRY↓

Relentless *

Better Than Me *

FWB!HARRY↓

SHOULD’VE SAID IT *

summary: In which Harry and Y/n had a situationship a few months back. Y/n gets a new boyfriend who she claims she loves deeply but when Harry comes back and they hook up it makes all of his feelings for her suddenly come back. But Y/n claims Harry is too late.

STEPBROTHER!HARRY↓

WHOSE GONNA BRING THE POP TO THE CINEMA?

ask: HEYYY!! I LOVE your writings! can you please write one, where they fuck in the cinema OR ANY PUBLIC SEX? Either stepbrother h or dbf harry. I don’t care which one you choose, I just want that to happen.

FRAT BOY!HARRY↓

LAST CHRISTMAS

summary In which Harry and Y/n had relationship troubles last christmas and are excited to celebrate their first christmas together.

FETUS!HARRY↓

GANG!HARRY↓

STEPDAD!HARRY↓

PORNSTAR!HARRY↓

LIVE ON TOUR↓

BROTHER’S BESTFRIEND↓

#harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #dom!harry #harry styles x y/n #subbry #sub!harry #dom harry styles #sun!harry x dom!reader #harry styles one direction #harry styles one shot #harry styles masterlist #whitemanscumslut #whitemancumslut

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stayevildarling · 17 days

Text

Wilhemina Venable x Cordelia Goode x Reader- I miss you, I'm sorry

A/N: I got inspired by listening to the song ,,I miss you, I'm sorry'' by Gracie Abrams and this is the result 🤷‍♀️

word count: 7k

tw: sad, breakup, happy ending

taglist: @lunaticwhittaker, @billiebeanhoward @lanawinters-ily, @kenzbro, @minaslittleone, @httpfiftyshadesofgay @whitelotus00, @ninaahs , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle, @paulsonsratched, @stepintomyworld, @grilledcheeseandguavajelly, @lucyintheskywithxanax, @fanfics4world, @mymiraclewitch, @hazard-to-myself, @awritersometime, @ohrwurm26, @wastdstime

It was simple really, so simple, yet today had tested you in ways you hadn't been tested before. Finally deciding to do something useful with your weekend off, you decided to head to the markets, maybe even strolling through some shops. Despite wanting to mope and bury yourself inside your apartment, not doing much other than staring at the ceiling or maybe doing some reading. A lilac candle, that's all it took, that same shade of lilac bringing you back to everything you know, bringing you back to them.

Them- you aren't sure how you would describe them to someone, maybe the sun and the moon? maybe soft glances shared, eyes locking and a steady but safe hand on your thigh at all times. Maybe yellow and purple? you aren't sure. And despite it having been so long now, you still remember everything, the way their touches felt on your skin, the way their voices sounded, the way their lips would feel on your own. Cordelia and Mina. Supreme to the academy, HR to a very important company. Your former girlfriends.

It's like everywhere you go it brings you back to them, a building looking a little too familiar to the coven, a colour reminding you a little too much of them. And today a simple lilac candle was enough, strolling through the markets, trying to have a good time and do some forgetting, instead you are pulled back into the past. With trembling hands and tear stained eyes, you make your way back to the nearest bus stop, cutting some corners to get there quicker as the last thing you currently want is embarassing yourself in public like this, despite not a lot of people caring either way, too busy with their own lives.

And then just like that, faith decides to have different plans for you, bumping into a stranger and landing on the floor as a result, quickly blinking some tears away as you open your eyes. However, the person in front of you was definitely no stranger. As soon as your eyes land on their legs, exposing the long flowy pants and those all too familiar shoes, you know exactly who is standing in front of you. Cordelia. You find her brown eyes locking with your own, staring at you, both in shock, sadness, concern and at last love. ,,Y/N'' she surprisingly gasps, blinking away the shock. ,,Here let me help'' she tries, holding out her hand to you. For a second you have no desire of taking it, but the temptation for even the smallest chance to feel her soft hand again too strong.

Quickly you compose yourself, clearing your throat and trying very hard to ignore the lump in your throat and the way your eyes were about to betray you. You can't help it, taking in her all to familiar features, the soft blonde slightly curled hair, that sweater you adore with the flowers on. However she looks tired, your Delia often looked tired, especially on the weekends after a busy week in the academy, looking after her girls and all the responsibilities on her shoulders. There was something else about the little bags under her eyes and the absence of that sparkle in her brown orbs. ,,I'm so sorry'' you practically blurt out, her eyebrows knitting in confusion at your statement.

,,For um- bumping into you'' you quickly compose yourself. She nods then, her lip doing that little thinking thing she would always do. There is a painful silence, not an awkward one, painful, neither of you being able to find the right words. ,,So - how have you been sweetheart?'' she asks, her eyes searching yours and that's enough. The simple pet name sending waves of heartache and pain all over you, making your heart physically hurt at the damage she just caused. ,,Fine, how about you?'' you quickly reply, wanting to escape this situation as soon as possible. She pauses then for a moment, thinking back to the last year without you. ,,It's been hard'' she truthfully tells you and it takes you by surprise, thinking she wouldn't be honest in this moment.

,,I'm sorry to hear that'' you quickly announce, glancing towards the bus stop to check the time table and hoping it would show up any moment so you could leave. But there is no bus in sight, the timetable too far away for your eyes to be able to read it. ,,How's.. how's Mina?'' you ask, absentmindedly almost. And that's when it hits Cordelia, that same heartache and pain crashing over her features. The way you said her name with such ease, sending moments through her head, little flashbacks of when you used to call your other girlfriend just that. ,,She-'' Cordelia pauses then, unsure what to say, the last year having been a lot of things but easy. ,,She's fine'' the supreme eventually explains, unsure how to explain a year worth of events to you just like that. You simply nod, that being all the confirmation you needed.

,,Y/N I-'' she begins and by the way her voice shakes you know exactly what she is about to do. ,,Delia please don't'' you try, tilting your head a little as you search her eyes. You don't want her to say those words, as she or rather they had said them before. You don't want to go back to that place of heartbreak. ,,I really need to get going, my bus is about to get here'' you compose yourself, tensing your shoulders a little to make your statement any more believable. ,,Y/N I- We miss you, I'm sorry'' she almost whispers the words and your eyes close then, having to force them close in order not to cry in front of her in the middle of the busy streets.

She notices, of course she does, Cordelia always noticed absolutely everything, and she frowns then, feeling bad but she couldn't stop herself, having not seen you in so long and undeniably missing you. It had been hard on all of them, the witches at the coven- who eventually became your friends and family. Wilhemina- the thought of her little one not being around killing her. And so you stand there, surrounded by the busy streets, cars zooming past you, your bus long having left, the sun slowly setting, tears streaming down your eyes, your breath hitching and chin wobbling. The blonde watches in silence, in pain, feeling terrible to open up those wounds again, a part of her wishing she never said those words.

There had always been something about your connection to Cordelia, the quiet love, the silent one where neither of you needed to have big conversations in order to bring your feelings across. And despite it being a year, there is something so painful about seeing her like this. You had often thought about it, maybe bumping into them again, maybe in the summer both of them strolling around the markets, maybe in December, running the annual errands for Christmas at the coven. And each time those thoughts crossed your mind, you saw them happy, healthy almost glowing as they walked beside each other hand in hand. But seeing her so tired and vulnerable and honest caused all that strength and stubbornness about showing your feelings in front of her to fade.

,,Y/N I'm so sorry'' she tries, reaching out to wipe your tears but she stops herself just in time, knowing she has no right to do that anymore, often ridding you of your tears in the past. ,,It's fine Cordelia'' you finally manage to muster up, angrily wiping your tears and stopping your pathetic cries. You take a step back, putting a distance between you two, wanting to go so badly, knowing you had been right here before.

,,I should really get going now'' you announce, averting her gaze and glancing towards the bus stop, sighing in frustration as you notice the last one had left. Of course Cordelia knew, being the supreme and all and so her eyes draw you back towards her. ,,Can I take you home please?'' she almost whispers, biting her lip to hide her own anxiety, despite her voice betraying her. Instinctively, you take another step back, shaking your head no. ,,I don't want you to be stranded here in the dark'' she argues back, her voice soft despite the circumstances. And then it dawns on you, how long the two of you had actually been standing there, despite not a lot of words being exchanged, how you left for the market in the afternoon and it being incredibly late now. You could easily walk, despite that taking about an hour for sure, possibly even calling an uber despite that being expensive and you not being the richest.

The exhaustion from seeing her again, crashes down on you like a tidal wave, drowning you in fatigue and sleepiness. Fighting back a yawn, you meet her eyes, blinking away the exhaustion. ,,Come on, I'm just parked around here'' she tries again and sometimes you hated her stubbornness but you could never say no to her- not your Delia and so without having much of a say, your legs take over and follow the woman, catching a sense of the all too familiar perfume and scent of honey and vanilla- home. Sensing your exhaustion, she opens the door to her car for you, offering to buckle you in but you quickly refused, that definitely being too much and bringing too many memories and flashbacks back.

And so with no words exchanged, she begins driving aimlessly at first until you tell her the address. Her phone must have automatically connected to her car as the screen lights up and an all too familiar song begins playing softly in the background. ,,Landslide'' by Fleetwood Mac. And even that is enough to send aches towards your heart again. The car ride is silent and part of you can't believe you are back in that place. Back in that same car, the same little air freshener you had purchased for her almost two years ago. It's a Yankee candle one, vanilla as it reminded you of her and a part of you wonders in your tired state, why she had kept it as the smell had long given up, needing replacement.

But then just like by some magical force, fate again gives you the answers to your question as the screen lights up, Wilhemina's number on the screen, her name and the contact photo with you, Cordelia and Wilhemina. You remember that day well, the day after your birthday when Delia bought you a little polaroid camera with some films and how for that entire day you went around the academy, collecting glimpses of your favourite places and people, eventually snapping one of the three of you, despite Wilhemina's protests. And then it dawns on you, she hadn't forgotten about you, she hadn't even moved on to begin with. Her face meets yours, quickly declining the phone call, knowing this would be too much for you, hearing her voice again. She plays it cool, humming along to the song as if nothing happened. As if that call and the evidence of the photo didn't just betray her like that. And confirming her statement when she said things had been hard.

It takes about thirty seconds for the screen to light up again and given that you are still a good ten minutes from your apartment, you simply look at her and mutter ,,You can answer it''. She hesitates at first but knowing Wilhemina's impatience and the fact she had said she would only pop out for about an hour to get some things and it now being late and leaving Wilhemina with the academy and all the witches, she answers. ,,Hi honey'' she speaks softly as if nothing is happening as if their shared ex- you- isn't sitting in her car right now. And for some reason that angers you, realistically what do you expect her to say?

,,Is everything alright?'' her voice finally rings through the speaker. And for some reason that breaks you even more, you had missed Cordelia in every way you could miss a person over the last year but Wilhemina? her safe comforting presence? her sternness and the way she would look out for you? you had missed that equally as much. They said forever back then and you almost bought it, you even miss fighting in your old bedroom, breaking dishes when Mina was disappointed and then it dawns on you- you still love them.

,,Yes I'm fine darling, just taking care of something before heading home'' Delia announces, pulling you away from the heartache and back into the present. And for some reason you just wanna blurt into the speaker, ask Cordelia to take you home- truly your home and not the apartment you had been staying at for the past year as your home was them, the academy with your family. ,,Okay be safe'' her voice rings through the car again before the call disconnects. Neither of you speak, the remainder of the drive deadly silent as all you want to do is collapse on your bed and cry yourself to sleep, unsure whether sleep would even be an option tonight. And at the same time, you never want the drive to end, feeling an odd amount of content being with her again, despite it all.

,,It's just here'' you announce, pointing towards the building and as she stops the car, you sigh before collecting your bag and opening the door. ,,Th- Thank you'' you mutter out before exiting her car, not even looking back anymore before practically running inside, banging your apartment door shut and collapsing onto your bed. Her car remains outside of your building for a while, wanting nothing more than to run after you but she needed to get home, despite home not feeling very much like it without you.

The pain is unbearable as you sob heavily into your pillow, her scent somehow still lingering in the air, her voice and words repeating over and over again in your head. You are still confused and you had been for a year, about what had actually happened and you try very hard to convince yourself that this was better, that you are better without them. But the but's are too loud in your mind right now, reminding you of all the reasons you love them, of all the reasons you should go back to them.

Your relationship with Wilhemina and Cordelia started almost fairytale like, you had known both women from the academy, living there for several years after figuring out something about you had always been a little odd and stumbling over the academy in your mid twenties. You had always known Cordelia as the supreme and headmistress, before eventually Wilhemina joined as the supremes helper and secretary, you believed at first. However, it quickly dawned on you that they shared more than that. And you were almost disappointed then, always thinking you and the blonde had some sort of connection. But quickly you learnt their shared interest towards you, Wilhemina chatting unusual much with you and wanting to learn about things from your life. Cordelia unusually interested in helping you with your witch craft, despite having the hang of it by then.

And then slowly it turned into a little more, their eyes following your every move, their hands often lingering on yours, the pet names, the invitations just to have dinner with them rather than everyone else, the walks in the garden with Cordelia, the evening tea dates by the fireplace with Wilhemina. And so slowly they opened their private and sacred little life to you, welcoming you in it without question, never questioning the age gap, never questioning the fact it's one more person than most people allow in a relationship. The matching piece as if you had always been there. But somewhere along the lines, throughout the months slowly turning into years, something wasn't working. In the end they had changed, Wilhemina often very agitated, always having a sterner and colder side but taking it out on you more, almost becoming a little physical with you as the last argument involved her throwing around some dishes in frustration.

Cordelia had surprisingly changed too, the academy always being a priority to her but in that time, she never left her office, often you and Mina tried to coax her out of it but she wouldn't leave, often just spending the nights in her office, leaving the loneliness with you and Wilhemina and also the arguments. You felt like you invaded their perfect life and after some more arguments and harsh words you decided to leave, not wanting to intrude on them anymore, not wanting to be intimidated by their love they have for each other anymore. You doubted your decision so many times, from being so happy with them, your life perfect and having all you ever wanted, to being continuously sick to your stomach with heartache and misery.

As the pain and memories continue to drown you in it's intensity, the supreme had made her way to the academy, finding a worried Mina, noticing her change of demeanour and how tired her shoulder looked as she finally made it back to their bedroom. ,,Honey?'' the redhead tried and then it equally poured out of the blonde, telling her about the encounter with you, causing you to cry, how much she misses you and how bad she feels for driving you away. Wilhemina watches in pain as Cordelia sobs into her shoulder, the mere mention of you, causing that same pained expression on Wilhemina's face it had for a year. And so in full circle the night comes to an end, taking the three of you back to the only thing you know- your relationship.

As Cordelia awakens the next morning, confusion washes over her features finding the usual occupied spot next to her empty, shuffling a little before she feels a pounding headache, causing her to fall back on her pillow, probably due to the crying the night prior. Meanwhile Wilhemina has been up early, not being able to sleep a wink, the memories of you keeping her awake during the night. And then when the morning sun finally filtered through the bedroom, she had decided to take matters into her own hands. And with now trembling hands, she finds herself outside of your apartment. Despite not being a witch, the redhead had her ways of finding out things, never having been at your new adress before and if Cordelia knew the lengths her girlfriend went through to find you, she would be left crying again, instead of the headache causing her to fall back to sleep.

The knocking slowly brings your consciousness back, away from sleep that eventually came, despite being broken. At first you thought it was a dream but as the knocking continues, you slowly rise from bed, almost stumbling and falling over your own feet, before making it to your door and opening it, your mind still asleep almost. As you suddenly take in the glimpse of her, you feel like dreaming, not having seen her for an entire year. And just like Cordelia, she looked tired, the little bags under her eyes all the evidence and by her posture and grip on her cane, you can tell she was nervous. You don't say anything, simply taking in her features, your mind convinced this was just a dream and some trick your mind was playing on you. But you enjoyed it nevertheless, taking in the outfit plastered in lilac, her brown eyes piercing right through you and her mere presence causing for your heart to ache.

,,Mi-na'' you whisper, not even aware of how long you had been standing there or that your eyes are again pouring with tears. ,,Y/N'' she speaks softly, her hand twitching as all she wants to do is wipe your tears, wipe your pain and take you into her arms. ,,May I speak with you?'' she tries softly and as if you are suddenly awaken, you welcome her inside, very grateful that your place was spotless. As you walk towards your living room, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the little mirror in your hallway, quickly adjusting your hair that was still messy from sleep and angrily wiping your tears. And then as she takes a seat across from you, it suddenly dawns on you this was no dream, the same perfume and sense of lavender lingering in the air. ,,Would you like some water? or tea?'' you ask politely but she is quick to decline with a head shake.

Silence follows and while the redhead internally scolds herself for not thinking this through properly and trying to find the right words for while she is actually there, sitting in your apartment, you are drowned in flashbacks. The painful ones, the last ones with them. It had been some hard weeks, the coven under the careful inspection of the council due to some incidents with some younger witches, Wilhemina in especially bad pains due to her back. They didn't appreciate you at the time, simply acting as if you are another witch at the academy, not realising how much you actually made their lives better. And then one thing led to another and the three of you drifted apart, every day ending up in arguments, fights, the worst one when Wilhemina on an especially bad day lost her temper in a bad way with you, the two of you in the kitchen, you pushing her a little too much about her pains and how maybe she needed to see a doctor. Her really not in the mindset to even think or talk about it and eventually taking her anger out on you and the dishes in the kitchen. And when Cordelia practically ran downstairs, it was too late, tears filled in your vision, that face that they both never forgot. That face when you gave up, all the good memories of meeting them, of belonging with them, replaced with bad ones. And despite their efforts, it all fell down and you slipped their grasp.

,,Cordelia mentioned seeing you yesterday'' she finally speaks as she clears her throat. Bringing you right back into the present, the flashbacks slowly fading from your mind.

And you knew how much how she hated this. How Wilhemina really wasn't one to have these kind of conversations and you can't help but wanting to make it easier for her. ,,Is she okay?'' you question, concern lingering on your features, wondering why Mina showed up so early on your doorstep as you catch a glimpse of the clock on your living room wall.

,,She-'' the redhead hesitates then, averting your gaze and glancing out the window.

,,She- We miss you'' she confesses, her statement taking you by surprise.

,,I miss you too Mina'' you confess, a small but painful smile creeping it's way onto your features.

That was enough for her, the simply nickname causing for her heart to ache, eyes to close as she holds back the pain. ,,I'm sorry'' you whisper, tears swelling up in your eyes again as suddenly a wave of regret washes over you. Regret for leaving, for not trying again, for never going back.

,,Would you come back to the academy with me?'' she suddenly asks, again taking you by surprise. ,,We would like to talk to you'' she carries on, noticing your hesitation at first and wanting to confirm her intentions.

And the redhead is unaware that you would have said yes already, despite unsure what she was implying. After seeing them again, all you want to do is lay in their arms. All you want to do is forget about everything and move on with them but you also know it wasn't that easy. And so in response, you simply stare at her, unable to actually bring any words out as your heart simply aches. Your silence worries the redhead, unsure if she made a mistake coming here, opening the old wounds again. However Wilhemina never let you go like that, she had observed quietly from a distance, keeping in touch with some girls from the academy on how you had been doing, where you had moved and what you had been doing in the past year. Wilhemina was stubborn but the true reason for letting you go was she felt like you deserved better, better than her outbursts, better than either of them too busy or stressed to appreciate you. But after hearing Cordelia's words and seeing your state, she doubts whether that was a good idea and whether maybe just maybe she, they, would be better for you.

And as silence continues, she sits there, unsure whether to just leave you alone, whether to just take you into her arms. Her brown eyes meet yours again as your gaze is focused somewhere on a wall, staring into nothingness. ,,I'm sorry Y/N'' is all she whispers before balancing on her cane and walking towards the door, misreading your silence. And then within seconds the door closes and you let her slip away, not running after her, not begging for her forgiveness, not saying yes and and coming back with her. You simply sit in silence, before darkness consumes you and a mixture of sleep and a breakdown washes over you, drowning you.

By the time you wake up, Wilhemina had long ago made her way back to the academy, of course not mentioning any of this to Cordelia. The redhead had a hard time coping with rejection and she couldn't tell her blonde girlfriend how she had gone to see you, not wanting to get her hopes up. The rest of the day Wilhemina spends in silence, sitting at her desk, staring at the little photo frame of the three of you that you had purchased for her for one of her birthdays and she never took it down, occasionally shoving it into her desk drawer when Cordelia would ask about it a little too many times. And as dawn begins breaking over the city, the sky filled with little stars, you suddenly find yourself outside those very familiar black iron gates and an all too familiar white building.

Somehow you woke from your state and your feet took you straight there, without even changing your clothes, without taking anything with you. You had ran, for hours, aimlessly through the rain, through the city until your heart guided you to where you wanted to be. And so, half drenched and out of breath, you stand in front of the front door, contemplating whether to actually knock, your confidence suddenly knocked from you, similar to the breath knocked from your lungs as you gasp for breaths. What if they are busy? What if they aren't even in? What if they didn't want to see you? However your thoughts are drawn out, when Cordelia noticed a presence by the door, just having finished cleaning the kitchen after dinner and her supreme senses alerting her of a presence.

Without a care in the world, she opens the door, exposing you there, your eyes staring at her as you still struggle to catch your breath, your hair and clothes dripping from the pouring rain. ,,Y/N?'' she almost gasps, expecting anyone but you. She had longed for this so long, for you to finally come back to them, after the countless attempts of her calling, texting you, even trying to find your location through her magic within the past year, eventually giving up, thinking they had driven you away. ,,Are you okay sweetheart?'' she questions, her head tiling to the side a little, as she frowns at your state.

,,May I come in?'' you begin, finally having the ability to breathe properly again. ,,That's if- um- you aren't busy'' you ramble on before your own anxiety betrays you ,,I guess- you know- I can come back another time'' you hastily stumble over your words, heart beating loudly against your chest as you think over your decision of coming here. As if your heart had somehow led you there and only now your brain kicking in and telling you this was a mistake and to run.

,,No- please sweetheart, come on in'' she invites, with a gentle warm smile, making all the worries melt away.

And so you step inside, following her as she leads you through the white hallway, past the kitchen and dining room, reminding you of all the times you had cooked together, all the times you had shared meals together. Past the living room, where you catch a glimpse of the sofa and fireplace, your safe space where the three of you spent many evenings and weekends together, in the comfortable embrace of each other. Eventually, she leads you up the stairs, halting in front of Wilhemina's office before she turns back to you.

,,Did you come here to see us? or did you want to talk to me?'' she tries, still thinking Wilhemina and you hadn't seen each other since the year before and worrying what your reaction would be like seeing each other.

,,Both of you'' you quickly explain, a little confused as to why Wilhemina wouldn't have mentioned seeing you this morning. She nods, before gently knocking on the redheads office door, waiting for a faint reply.

,,Come in'' she announces and you stand awkwardly behind Cordelia as she opens the door.

,,Darling, Y/N is here to see us'' she explains, scanning the redheads features, unsure how Wilhemina would react. But to her surprise, Wilhemina's features soften, almost relief painting her face as she sees the frame of you behind the supreme.

Cordelia steps aside, allowing you to enter and so you enter, standing a little awkwardly in her office as a shiver runs down your spine. As soon as Wilhemina's eyes fall on you, you feel embarassed. Your cheeks coated in red, standing there soaked and still a little out of breath.

,,Please, take a seat sweetheart'' Cordelia invites you, pointing towards one of the chairs, opposite the redhead and you comply, grateful to get a chance to sit after wandering through the city aimlessly for hours.

Cordelia notices your shivering form and without a word, she walks to a corner before reaching for a blanket and handing it to you. Your eyes meet hers and you take it with shaky hands, averting your gaze as you wrap it around yourself. ,,How do you two feel about some tea?'' she asks and Wilhemina simply nods gratefully, you simply agreeing as well as the supreme leaves you both for a minute.

The room fills with silence as every corner of this house feels it's haunted, every piece of furniture, every room reminding you of your time at the academy, reminding you of your time with your former girlfriends and the memories you had made with them. And when Wilhemina clears her throat, you suddenly shiver in your chair, pulled back into the present. ,,I- I'm sorry to just show up like this'' you apologise, finding the courage to meet the redheads gaze on you.

,,Nonsense Y/N, you are always welcome here- this is your home'' she suddenly blurts out, her own confusion written over her features as if some invisible force took over and made her say the words, lingering on her mind.

Her statement both surprises you and shoots a pang of guilt straight towards your heart. Silence follows as you glance around her office, noticing that not a lot had changed, other than some new plants, that you assume Cordelia had gotten for her. And when your eyes linger on her desk, you recognise the picture frame, wondering whether the same picture was still in it or whether she had replaced it with one of just her and Cordelia. Thinking of the blonde, she enters the room with a little tray, pot of tea and three cups placed neatly on it. With a smile she begins pouring the three of you and handing you a warm mug, the steam forming patterns as you wrap your hands around it, soaking in the warmth.

After she takes a seat next to you, you somehow feel obligated to speak, explain what you are doing here but your words leave you as you struggle to explain. Cordelia ever perceptive, notices the way neither you or her girlfriend share that same painful first meeting after the breakup experience and she can't help but wonder when the two of you had met again, before it suddenly dawns on her, how Wilhemina had been gone this morning, mysteriously showing up again some time later and hiding in her office all day, not even showing up for dinner with the girls, despite the supreme's best efforts. And when the realisation hits of how Wilhemina had reached out to see you, after breaking down in her arms the night before, it almost brings tears to her eyes.

Cordelia and Wilhemina's eyes meet as they take in your quiet form, your eyes focused on the cup of tea, the two of them deciding without words who would speak first, knowing this must be hard on you and the redheads eyes practically begging the blonde to do this part. And with a nod, the supreme begins to speak ,,I'm- We are so glad you are here'' she reassures as she meets your gaze, your eyes locking with her brown ones. A small smile creeps its way onto your features, slowly giving you the confidence to speak.

,,I'm honestly not sure what I'm doing here'' you admit with a nervous chuckle before glancing at Wilhemina. ,,But after seeing you both again, I just ended up here somehow'' you admit.

,,I'm sorry for the way things went this morning'' you apologise to Wilhemina and then she meets her girlfriends gaze, silently apologising for not filling her in on the events but she is met with nothing but understanding from the blonde.

,,I shouldn't have come by unannounced like that'' the redhead admits, slowly taking a sip from her cup, before gently placing it on her desk. ,,I'm sorry little one'' she adds quietly.

And that's enough, enough to make you falter, pour your heart out in front of them, as the words pour from your mouth, tears equally pouring down your cheeks.

,,I haven't been able to think about anything else other than you two in this past year, I'm sorry for leaving, I'm sorry for not coming back home and I miss you both so much, I'm sorry'' you apologise over and over again.

Their hearts equally break at your statement, Cordelia having missed her little sunshine so much, Wilhemina having missed her little one equally as much, if not even more over the past year.

,,Everything I know brings me back to us, Everywhere I go it leads me back to you'' you admit, almost guiltily as you try and wipe your tears, despite them keep pouring.

,,Sweetheart'' Cordelia finally speaks ,,We have missed you so much'' she explains, Wilhemina's serious expression confirming the blondes statement, making it all the more believable.

And then her hands find yours as she gently places your cup on the desk, taking both of your hands into her own. ,,I owe you an apology'' she begins, tears already lingering in her brown orbs. ,,I didn't make enough time for you.. both'' she admits, glancing at Wilhemina as well.

,,I should have never let the academy get between us three'' she finishes, tears now flowing down her cheeks and for some reason you feel the urge to wipe them away but something holds you back.

,,I- I should have reached out to you more, tried to get you to come back to us but at the time I thought it was for the best but in these last few months I have missed you so much. This is your home, you belong here'' she explains, squeezing your hands a little tighter to underline the honesty in her statement.

Wilhemina watches in silence, waiting for Cordelia to finish her apology. She takes a deep breath, her hand gripping tighter around her cane before she speaks ,,I'm sorry too little one''. And that's all she can say for the time being, but you know it came from her heart as those words must have already taken a lot. And so in silence, the three of you sit, the only sound to be heard the silence of the academy and occassional shuffling from some witches downstairs. And with their questioning gazes, you know the question lingering on their minds, but somehow a sense of doubt washes over you, filled with some anxiety. Right now, you can't imagine simply going back to how things were and a part of you doubts that could ever happen again, you worry about your dynamics and how it might have changed even between them in the past year.

,,I don't know what you want sweetheart, but we will always be right here for you'' she reassures and with that statement she makes you doubt again, whether to just falter, forget about the past and move on with them.

And then some invisible force takes over again as exhaustion from the past two days suddenly hit you, causing you to go incredibly quiet and with knowing glances the two of them remember quite well what you are like, whenever you are tired. ,,Are you tired sweetie?'' Cordelia tries and you try and snap yourself out of the sleepiness, blinking some of it away, causing their heart to swell up with love as they see you so tired and adorable. ,,Um yeah'' you shily admit, before Cordelia gives you a little smile.

,,Why don't you stay the night?'' she offers but your heart instantly sinks at her offer. ,,Your old room is still free'' she admits and it swells your heart when you hear they kept it for all these years, despite eventually sharing Cordelia's bedroom with them. And in the blink of an eye, the blonde takes you to your old room, leaving you some warm and dry clothes on the bed, before bringing you some water and leaving you to rest. And after changing, you finally collapse on your bed, unable to think much more about the past or current events and sleep knocks you out gently, guiding you towards dreams softly.

After a while, the two of them settle into bed as well, Cordelia glancing at her girlfriend before whispering ,,What do you think?'' her own anxiety betraying her a little bit. ,,I'm just glad our little one is home where she belongs'' the redhead replies, before pressing a kiss to the supremes forehead and sleep equally greeting them.

It's the middle of the night when you finally wake up from sleep, confused at first at the familiar but unfamiliar surroundings at the same time. Slowly memories from the previous night fill your mind and after blinking the sleep away, you sit up in bed, wrapping the blanket a little closer around you as you notice the change of clothes and Cordelia's soft smell lingering on the clothes she had given you. Glancing around your old bedroom, you notice how empty it was, considering you took all of your belongings to their bedroom in the end, however you notice a stack of something on the desk in the corner and your curiosity gets a hold of you. With slow and gentle steps you walk towards it, the little lamp in the corner that Cordelia had kept on for you, providing you with some light. On the desk you find a stack of letters, neatly wrapped in a purple ribbon and you can't help but take a seat and slowly remove the ribbon before opening some letters.

And with the first one your eyes are already lingering with tears, recognising Wilhemina's handwriting.

,,Dear little one,

Today it's Christmas, our first one without you. As you probably know, I'm not big on these things but seeing Cordelia so sad today, made me miss you even more. I hope that wherever you are, you are happier now, celebrating Christmas with people that love and cherish you. Who are grateful for all the little things you do, who love the little things about you. Your adorable smile, how shy you can be at times but realising how big your heart truly is. It pained me, not being able to see your face light up today when everyone unwrapped their presents, missing how truly grateful you are for whatever you are given. It's almost been a year and not a day goes by where I don't miss you, where Cordelia doesn't cry, where I hate myself for driving you away. I miss you little one, I'm sorry.

Mina''

And with each letter, each confession, tears pour from your eyes, eventually turning into sobs, despite trying to contain them. You knew Wilhemina was never big on words but seeing her emotions so raw and honest touches you deeply. And suddenly you feel the urge to run to them, to hug them, to apologise and to love them again. You already loved them of course, you had never stopped but you needed to tell them, needed to forget about everything that happened and simply move on with them. And this time, nothing holds you back as you make your way past the hallway, not caring about the time as you find yourself outside of their bedroom. And again fate decides to help you out, as both of them had woken a while ago, Cordelia laying in silence as thoughts fill her mind, trying to figure out what to do and how to fix this, Wilhemina equally awake, finding it strange to have you so close, yet so far away. And they both heard shuffling, your door opening and slow but hushed steps walking towards their door before stopping.

At first Cordelia had thought, it may be one of the girls simply going to the bathroom but seeing a little shadow from underneath the door, she is quickly up on her feet, ready to investigate. Wilhemina equally behind her as she suddenly felt the urge to check on you. And so as the door opens, it all comes full circle, the light from the hallway exposing your crying form, a look filled with guilt, longing on your features. ,,Little one are you okay?'' Wilhemina questions quietly, standing behind the supreme but you don't say anything, simply lunging forward and taking the blonde into your arms, holding onto her for dear life as if she was going to slip away again at any moment. Wilhemina watches in silence as the two of you basically collapse into each other's arms, crying into each other and healing. But you feel the urge to pull away, standing in front of Wilhemina with tears in your eyes, your gaze meeting hers.

,,Mina I-'' you try but she is quick to shush you ,,Come here'' she ushers and you quickly comply, holding onto the redhead. And as the night continues, the three of you eventually find yourself truly where you belong, in their bed, you sitting in the middle, both of them next to you while you hold onto each other. Slowly admitting everything to each other, apologising and confessing all the mistakes and your love for each other.

,,We love you little one'' Wilhemina confesses as her lips slowly draw towards yours and capture you in a kiss. And as her lips softly land on your own, you taste tears, but not just your own, for one of the rare times, the redhead sharing her emotions, grateful to have you back with them. ,,We won't ever let you slip away again sweetie, I promise'' Cordelia reassures after the two of you pull away, needing oxygen, as she snuggles into your side. And eventually, everything goes back to normal, the three of you laying in each other's arms. And despite the future unknown a little, a lot of conversation still needing to be held, for now you all know that you have missed each other and you are sorry.

#sarah paulson #cordelia goode #wilhemina venable #ahs #american horror story #sarah paulson x reader #cordelia goode x reader #ahs coven #wilhemina venable x reader

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headkiss · 2 years

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blurbs

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lebrookestore · 1 year

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oceans and engines | l.jn

Pairing: Lee Jeno x reader

Themes: strangers to lovers, highschool! au, coming of age, lovers to exes, heavy angst, light fluff, teenage romance, first love au

Warnings: profanity, mentions of food, heavy angst, underage alcohol consumption, underage substance consumption

Wc : 3.7k

Summary: Standing where the water meets the sand, you reminisce over a love you recently lost, one that you couldn’t help but let slip through your fingers like the very sand beneath your feet.

Playlist: oceans and engines by niki, another love by tom odell, atlantis by seafret, consequences by camila cabello, meant to be by ber and charlie oriain, exile by taylor swift, emily by jeremy zucker and chelsea cutler, favorite crime by olivia rodrigo, flowers by lauren spencer smith, i should hate you by gracie abrams, partners in crime by finneas

Notes from brooke: i wrote this in a day and it’s been almost 8 months since i’ve been able to write like that, but with this short story, the moment i started, i physically could not stop. everything came out so naturally, and that is because it’s all true. i’ve changed details here and there to support continuity and such, and due to the fact that there are some things i cannot bring myself to write right now, i have omited a lot of the story. maybe one day in the future i’ll be able to write it out in its entirety or maybe i’ll delete this as well, but i wrote this fic to process my emotions, and maybe it might help someone else do the same. i hope you, dear reader, enjoy reading it<3

You liked to think you were a patient lover.

The whispering of the waves cut through what would have been your reverie, jerking your mind back into its previous state of frantic overdrive. Seafoam swept over your bare feet as the ocean water washed off the sand stuck to your soles and carried it back out, only to bring it in again the next moment.

Patience is a virtue, people would say, along with other once-meaningless sayings such as Love is blind. Maybe sometime in the past, you would have laughed at the utterings of such phrases, sure of your sense of self-control and ability to see reality for what it was.

But you had been so very virtuous.

And when your moments of patience came back occasionally, you could still imagine his smile, the way the sides of his eyes crinkled and his lips pressed together to show off his unadulterated, infectious glee. Although fleeting, the thought of it still managed to bring a shallow smile to your mouth, before its sides fell back into forced indifference, an expression you had grown to master over the past few weeks.

Moments of peace, followed by those of absolute torment - a cruel cycle that you fell victim to countless times.

Jeno had been perfect in your eyes, at least at the beginning, and almost till the very end. From the very minute you set your eyes on him the first time, it was like you knew in your bones that he would be yours. A wordless connection developed between the two of you, born out of the stolen glances from across classrooms and jittery words falling from nervous tongues - it was indisputable that there was something there to anyone who spent even two minutes around the two of you.

You recalled the first time he kissed you, on a Friday evening such as this very one, but much later into the night. Six months ago, in a secluded corner of a terrace and away from the crowd of people that consisted of the party the two of you had found yourselves amidst. You were sixteen, just as you were now, but a much more wide-eyed version of the supposedly sweet age.

You were tipsy from your first real taste of alcohol, for the previous times you had consumed it, it had been your parents who had let you have a few sips from their glasses while joking about how you were growing up now. This was different though, this was unsupervised and unrestricted access to it, and when he told you he liked you back, you thought it was the result of the liquor in the red solo cup you had somehow misplaced.

Sobriety rushed back to you when he pressed his lips to yours though, chaste and out of the blue. You remember your eyelids fluttering shut, but shock overtaking your every muscle as you froze, only registering what had happened seconds later, when you were staring right at him in disbelief.

A soft smile played on his lips, a soft word slipping through them and just barely reaching your buzzing ears.

“Good?”

You swallowed, wondering if it had been real with how quickly it took place. Maybe it had been a figment of your imagination.

“Yeah.”

It was the most perfect first kiss you could have asked for.

A best friend and a lover, somehow the two of you were both for each other, being able to talk and laugh about every topic that was brought about. The nerves faded with time, comfort replacing them as you got to know him better. You memorized the sound of his laughter, his stupid jokes that somehow always made you crack a smile even when you tried your hardest not to.

He once told you he loved the pissed-off look that overtook your features when you tried to get him to shut up, or if he cracked a particularly lame joke that day. You told him he was lucky you liked him with the very same look. He agreed wholeheartedly, causing a wave of heat to curl around your neck and up to your cheeks, leaving you to bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from grinning too hard.

Jeno made you the happiest person in the world.

Which is why you let go of all the times he managed to make you the saddest.

Love truly did make you blind, and it was so bitterly ironic that you could only see that now. Every red flag seemed white when you looked through the rose-tinted glasses that had been bestowed upon you when he asked you to be his girlfriend.

Everything seemed so perfect, and you had wanted to keep it that way so badly.

He told you he loved you for the first time on this very beach, a little deeper into the ocean than where you currently stood where the water was up to your knees. Your blue dress stuck to your skin, hair matted down against your forehead due to the number of times he had splashed you, and yet you had the biggest grin plastered onto your face.

The sun beat down on the two of you, and it flitted through the strands of his hair like a halo of sorts, framing his face in such a manner that he seemed like an angel. Three little words flashed through your mind, a startling revelation when it really shouldn’t have been. You had thought about it before, of course, but not so literally and not so forwardly - definitely not right when he was in front of you.

His shirt was drenched, and he stopped, looking at your face with that soft simper of his. “You okay?”

You were perfect, and you caught your bottom lip between your teeth, wondering if it was the right time. Your parents would have laughed at you for even suggesting the notion of being in love, because you were so young and so very naive, whatever would a sixteen-year-old know about the big scary concept of love? Not that you could ever ask them such questions, since technically you weren’t supposed to be dating anyone, you weren’t allowed to be in a relationship.

And you had risked it anyway for Jeno, so surely this was worth the risk too, right?

“Yeah,” you cleared your throat, averting your gaze from his for a moment, the words travelling from the safe confines of your mind to the tip of your tongue. The water suddenly felt too cold on the expanse of your skin, but scathing at the very same time as the sun dried it up. “Jeno, I…I um-”

And they got stuck right there, refusing to be pronounced out into the world as a single shred of fear made itself known. What if he didn’t feel the same way yet? What if you were moving too fast for him?”

“Y/n?”

“I…” And now you wracked your brains for something that would seem passable for the moment, to cover this up. The silence seemed much too loud, weighing down on you with every word left unsaid.

And somehow, he understood, the pause conveying what you wanted to say. He took steps towards you through the water, until he was right in front of you, forcing you to meet his eyes.

“I love you too.”

A sigh barely managed to escape you as he kissed you, hands on your waist as yours gently cradled his face. To be loved was the most beautiful thing you had ever experienced, and more so was the act of actively falling in love with Jeno Lee. It felt as if you were walking on clouds, the world resting at your fingertips.

You were so high from it all that you didn’t realize it when he was hurting you, at least not the first few times.

Jeno had the habit of thinking too much and sometimes would isolate himself from everything - his family, his friends and even you. He’d be physically present when he had to be, like when classes were in session, but mentally he wouldn’t be there at all. He’d barely look at you sometimes, ignoring your existence almost wholly.

He was going through something, you told yourself, and it was what his friends said as well. Apparently, it was something he did often. You didn’t mind, everyone had personal problems and you didn’t mind being the one to wait around for him, to be the one to comfort and help him through whatever he was struggling with.

But when you asked if something was wrong, with hesitant eyes and pursed lips, he lied to your face and denied it. You could tell he was lying, it was so undeniable, but you understood. Some people had a harder time opening up than others did.

The next day it was like nothing had happened, he was talking like he normally did and kissing you like you were so used to, so you pushed the incident aside and decided not to think so much about something that may have not even been that important. You were just glad to have him talking to you again.

When it continued to happen, it was as if you were desensitized, used to it. He’d walk away and not say a word to you, and you’d shrug and feign a smile, turning to humour to cover up the neglect that you had begun starting to feel. Three months of your relationship slipped by without you even noticing, and these happenings continued to grow, while you continued to suppress the resentment that came with them.

You didn’t want any drama, nor did you want to fight. Everything was perfect and you didn’t dare try to disrupt that perfection.

Another party and another moment of drunken bliss led to the two of you sitting on a couch, lip-locked as music blared on in the background, drowned out to you as all your focus lay upon your boyfriend, acutely aware of the smoky aftertaste that he left on your lips. Later, you found yourself barely comprehensible, but with your head in Jeno’s lap in the backseat of a cab, his fingers playing with your hair as he dropped you home.

“You think you’ll be okay? Manage to get back into your house without your parents realizing?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, or at least tried to as you looked up at him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Intoxication is a funny thing, and there are so many ways one can be intoxicated. The most obvious sources are substances - alcohol, cigarettes and drugs - things that shouldn’t have been nearly as accessible as they were for teenagers. The other source was that of comfort and bliss, something that people used substances to achieve.

But you had your very own drug in the form of Jeno, and he was so very intoxicating.

And then it happened again, with him barely saying a word to you for two complete days, even forgetting to say goodbye. Usually, the two of you travelled together, but this time, he simply walked off without you, leaving you to watch his figure grow smaller the farther he travelled.

High school shouldn’t have been this hard, you realized, and hurt began to settle in the pit of your stomach. The next day, he continued to ignore you, leaving you confused and visibly upset, something your friends noticed, and it was only when they brought it to his attention did he realize what he was doing.

The next thing you knew, you were in his arms, wrapped in a tight hug as he whispered apologies into your hair. It felt genuine and real, contrition lacing his voice as he held you.

So you said it was okay. You said it was okay because you couldn’t bare to see the conflict in his eyes. You hugged him back and let it go, once again putting yourself on the back burner for his sake, because it was just as painful to see him looking so confused and regretful, struggling to come up with the words to explain why he had acted as he had.

You forgave.

And it kept happening, but you loved Jeno so much that you trusted that in time, he would tell you what was bothering him. You told him time and time again that he could tell you anything and you’d always be there, waiting and ready to listen when he was ready.

All your friends were in awe of the two of you, seemingly such an impeccable couple with no problems. Some thought the two of you would end up together with how evident the love there was. Envious of how healthy the relationship was, when in reality it was falling apart and straying away from being healthy with every damn day.

The way just talking to him could brighten up your entire day and make you forget about whatever you were previously upset about. The apparent glee that everyone could make out when he had his arm around you and the affectionate glances you took at him that went unnoticed by only him.

Jeno’s eyes had always been your weakness, expressive and almost always locked on your figure. More often than not, you would have to look away, flustered out of your mind and wishing you could hold his gaze for longer because you adored having it on you.

It was probably why it hurt even more when he would push you away and barely look at you when he did so, then return a day or two later with those pretty little apologies of his, saying he’d be better. Saying he couldn’t talk about what he went through, but then lying through those perfect teeth of his when he said if there was anyone he would tell, it would be you.

Because he never did.

Over time, you realized you just knew facts about him - his favourite colour, the fact he was born with a good tolerance to alcohol (something you had quickly discovered at parties), common subjects he’d revert to while making jokes - but you didn’t really know him. He had pushed you away so much that he had become the one thing you had feared the most.

A stranger.

And the thing was you had let him in, given so much of yourself to him while he kept you at a distance.

You were lonely in love.

“Jeno,” you mumbled, reaching out and intertwining your fingers with his. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” The way he lied to you so easily baffled you and you pursed your lips, stopping yourself from saying anything further and swallowing the lump in your throat, one that seemed to constantly be growing as of late. You watched while he focused his eyes on the screen of his phone, scrolling through his Instagram feed without paying much attention to a single thing on it.

It felt as if he was using it to avoid having to interact with you, and avoid it he did, because he spoke to every single person but you that day, leaving you feeling like an absolute idiot.

You received another apology a few days later, soft-spoken and as repentant as the last, with the very same promise of bettering himself for your sake, and it was then you started feeling a little stupid, even as you forgave him again. It felt as if you were losing little pieces of yourself now, whatever you hadn’t already given to him.

Putting him first was something that had been ingrained in you by now, something that had come so naturally from the moment the two of you had begun dating. You welcomed him back with open arms every time he fucked up, whereas he kept his arms crossed, guarded as ever.

The guise of perfection began to show cracks in its surface, and as hard as you tried to keep intact, it was only a matter of time before it shattered.

You told him that it was getting too much the next time he did it, that you just wanted him to tell you what was going on in his head so you could be there for him. It was the first time he had seen you express how it hurt you, and for the first time in the four months that you had been with him, he opened up the tiniest bit.

It would be the only time.

The last time he did it, it completely shattered you, your patience finally running out. Finally, you had managed to break through the armour he always seemed to be wearing and he had gone ahead and put it right back on. Desperation crept through, and it bled into what it truly was in the first place - an emotion you had long been suppressing for his sake.

Unadulterated anger.

The moment you let yourself feel it, it took over every fibre of your being so intensely that you could barely think straight because you were so tired of being constantly alienated from the one person you loved the most in the world.

This time though, his apologies meant nothing to you, for they had been reduced to simply empty shells constituted of letters strung together that you had heard innumerable times in the past. After all, there were only so many times you could believe what someone says before the words turned meaningless with the sheer number of times you had heard them before.

When the anger faded, it was replaced by sorrow, the realization that you no longer believed in him. You loved him, of course you did, but not in the same, innocent way you once did. Now, your love was tainted and burned with how much he had hurt you- months upon months of damage that you had tried your best to put aside for him.

And he had never ever considered how you felt.

Inherently you knew he was trying, but nothing had ever changed and you knew that you couldn’t keep doing this to yourself. You had given far too much of yourself and had lost a lot of who you were along the way and with how much he had pushed you away, you just couldn’t let him in again.

And as agonizing as it was to see the tortured look in his glasses when you told him the same, no matter how many times he begged you to try to let him fix it, you knew what you had to do.

“I love you Y/n,” he said, voice breaking, as he reached out to try and touch you, only for you to take a step away from him, unable to meet his eyes but for an entirely different reason this time. You couldn’t look at him without second-guessing your decision about what you had to go through for your own sake.

You couldn’t say it back, but not because you were scared. The lump in your throat had expanded so much that it prevented you from even whispering the words.

The conversation ended with you walking away from him, asking for time and space. You had fought for almost six months to keep your relationship alive, doing everything in your limited power as just a teenager hopelessly in love with a boy who couldn’t give her what she needed no matter how much he tried.

You decided to put yourself first and be selfish this time and let him go, letting a piece of your heart leave with him in the process. Those sad eyes of his would forever be imprinted in your memory, haunting you for the days that followed with all the things left unknown about the boy you were so completely lovesick for.

Having to keep it together in front of your family bore fruit to sleepless nights filled with tears and staring at your ceiling, thinking back to when you’d have his arms around you in your bed as you cuddled into him when your parents weren’t around and missing him.

It all led you to where you were right now, standing in between the sky and the sand, breathing in the salt air. Now, you were almost seventeen, staring out into the limitless and unpredictable ocean and taking comfort in its constant ebb and flow.

You were still so young, with so many more loves to experience waiting for you. Just as the ocean recovered from its tides, you too would make it past the crash that followed the initial fall for you. You knew that some would probably think it ridiculous of you to hold on so tightly to a boy you loved when you were just sixteen.

But you would know. You would know of the boy that made you laugh on your darkest days and held your hand underneath the desks, how he kissed you and took care of you, and how he told you he loved you in the very waters that you stood and took comfort in now. You would know what loving Jeno Lee felt like, even if it had been for just six months, and you would choose to remember the good.

Six months of fragmented and yet unsullied bliss, a love so fierce that it would always leave a mark. A love you had fought for and had perhaps lost the war, but you would walk out of the battlefield knowing you tried.

And you’d never know if you had made the right decision or if you’d regret it down the line but as you peered into the horizon, memories of your first magnificent love dancing about, you knew you didn’t regret even a moment spent with him, for they had constituted for some of the happiest moments of your life. Uncertainties crept into your thoughts, but you were sure of one thing as you whispered your last profession of affection to the wind- that you’d be alright.

“I love you too.”

fin.

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