#sometimes people are bad people who hurt others but why should their death be miserable and painful? that doesn’t actually do anything
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the way we as usamericans hallow war graves above all others is weird and frankly kinda disturbing. these sites aren’t sacred because they hold the remains of a soldier who died for their country but because they hold the remains of a person, who felt and thought as much as any of us. we don’t respect the bones of people who died as “the enemy” because they too were a soldier who died for their country but because they too were a person, a person who had people who loved them who want closure and that’s just as true of a lost fighter pilot as it is of a sinking cargo ship and just as true of a prisoner of war as it is a serial killer’s unidentified victim. you can be anti-war and still respect war graves because you can be anti-war because we should find other ways to resolve conflicts besides leaving actual human people in twisted pieces of metal at the bottom of the ocean and charred collapsed basements and billions of pieces in ruined cities, and this is also why you should care about building codes iand effective evacuation systems and medical infrastructure and transportation oversight because nobody should die falling out of the sky in a giant fireball be they soldier or civilian, during war or peace, and every time that happens it’s tragic because that’s a shitty way to go. and I’m sorry to everyone whose loved ones went to kill other people’s loved ones in foreign lands and never came back because grief is hard, but it’s really visible how much this reverence of war graves is used as an emotionally-laden diversion to keep everyone from seeing that these deaths are all as needlessly tragic as an airliner crash. i just wish usamericans could fucking care about people dying outside of this weird self-congratulatory hero worship circlejerk we’ve got going.
#elijah dot thought#oof we got a controversial one here this is guaranteed to get me on the wrong side of leftists right wingers and centrists alike#no nuance november#I’m trying to be less full of rage over injustice. not because rage is inherently bad but because it’s not healthy for me personally#sometimes people are bad people who hurt others but why should their death be miserable and painful? that doesn’t actually do anything#also yes i know soldiers commit war crimes against civilians. that’s bad and shouldn’t happen yeah
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(BG3 Act III Astarion Spoilers)
Have an Astarion Stays a Spawn but Leaves your Party AU:
After Astarion breaks the staff and screams "I hope you die screaming" and refuses to set any of the spawn free, he leaves and realizes... he has nowhere to go.
Sure, Cazador's dead, but he's still just a vampire spawn and now he doesn't even any friends or allies in the city. Half his shit is still at camp (he liked those clothes, damn it), he's alone and miserable and... there is something terribly hollow inside him.
He thinks at first because he's not really free. That power would have made him free, he could have been a vampire lord, and instead he remains this wretch... a wretch who ruined the lives of thousands of people, for 200 years and then in one last masterstroke, trapping them in Cazador's dungeon.
Fuck. Maybe they were right. Maybe he really is no better than Cazador.
No, he isn't going to entertain such a thought. It reminds him too much of... of what they might have said. And he can't get away, everywhere he turns in the city, this sun-dappled city, he remembers them. Even the bloody Gazette that he had giggled over editing with them is broadcasting their name nonstop. He has to get out of here, the Absolute be damned.
And yet, the minute he tries to flee Baldur's Gate, the minute he steps too far away from the artifact, he can feel the elder brain starting to bite at his awareness. That sends him into another wave of terror - was he shackled all along in this other way? These people who he thought he could trust, that lover who he had let his guard down around, were they also just another way to bind him?
He needs to kill them. He needs to take the artifact, Emperor be damned or whatever. So long as he's got this tadpole in his brain, he won't really be free. He's just going to become a slave again, just this time to the Absolute. He has to kill his former friends.
So why does that fill him with dread?
Astarion isn't good at planning. He's not good at the details. He just zeroes in on this new goal. He stalks his former friends - it's not hard, they're tearing up half the city and leaving trails of bodies behind them. They're subdued though. Half the time, he can't stand the sight of them, the other half, well... He's picking up on things, things he's angry about knowing- the limp Shadowheart has from their fight at Moonrise, the way Karlach's grown quiet, the strain in their voice.
Sometimes, he thinks they catch sight of him. He can feel their tadpoles, but they aren't pushing to find him, for all the blasted awareness it gives them. But they don't attack, even after he leaves several drained cultists bodies on the roof of the Elfsong or he steals back his things from the camp - no one even tries to stop him. The only thing he can't take is the Artifact. The godsdamn thing burns when he even touches it and that's when Lae'zel catches him, with a knowing look of someone who had tried something similar before.
Her threats are milquetoast. She says he should come back, that the seduction of individual power should have worn off by now, that it is the collective that can stand strong. He tries to bite her and gets thrown out the window for the trouble.
Bad End:
Gortash, Orin, whoever, catches up to him. He's not fast enough, not strong enough, and the Emperor's protection has long since worn thin.
When his former allies (friends, they were his friends, his mind tries to rebel, but the Elder Brain is too strong and he's just a godsdamned spawn) show up on the battlefield, it's almost a relief that they're the ones to stake him in the end. At least he can see them crying one last time.
Neutral End:
He comes back for the final fight. It's his fate, but he speaks to no one, cold and withdrawn. There's tension and hurt feelings, but he fights with the same familiarity and fluidity of months of near death experiences together. If he ever trusted you, it's nearly gone now.
After everything, he disappears into the darkness. You never see him again after that Sometimes you think you catch a sight of some pale hair in the corner of a dark alley. Sometimes missing posters come up of drained bodies, but they're small murderers, and criminals, and you wonder if you managed to do something for him in all that time together....
Or perhaps not and you're just hoping he doesn't paint a target on his back so large that your paths will be forced to cross.
Good End:
Even after the final battle, he comes back. He wants to talk. Well, he wants to rake you over the coals. When he finds out you're trying to save the spawn in the dungeon, to override Cazador's ancient magic, he jeers at you, at your savior complex, at how fruitless and worthless an endeavor it is.
You say, perhaps you're right. Perhaps they'll spit back in your face. Perhaps it'll all backfire on you. But it doesn't matter. You have to do it.
"Why?" he sniffs, dismissive.
"Because I couldn't do anything for you in the end. I'm sorry."
The years pass. Sometimes your paths cross, out in the city. Gale works out the enchantments and the spawn are freed out to the Underdark - rumor is that some pale-haired elf was corralling them at the beginning. You hope he got to see Sebastian once more.
Things stay prickly, but you start to see more of him. Sometimes the Hero of Baldur's Gate needs to be bailed out, just a little. Sometimes he shows up half-dead and he barely will stay put long enough to heal before disappearing again.
Once, you go out and get drunk together for old times sake. He looks a little worse for wear- not enough cultists to eat, these days. He admits he doesn't know what he's doing these days. That, strangely enough, he's come to the realization he really is free, as free as vampire spawn can be these days, in this city you protected together, but he never though of what comes after that.
You offer that tired old olive branch and he bats it aside with familiar callousness.
And yet, the next morning, you wake up lightheaded from bloodloss, a familiar soreness on your neck, still breathing.
#bg3 spoilers#bg3#astarion#spoilers#arget rambles#hello this ending makes me insane so i elaborated#it was a very powerful character moment#but also made me go well fuck he's running to his death now#also this is as good a good end you're going to get#it doesn't matter if he realizes you were right in the end#the sense of betrayal feels too deep#if he lives long enough maybe he'll be able to find himself#but we'll see
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the night ship (2022)
feel free to change as needed.
she's dead, unfortunately.
what are you, a rat? put your teeth away.
be brave.
don't move. danger everywhere.
i don't want to think about pirates.
you run, and i'll bring you back and tie you to your bed like a bad puppy.
you believe you could pass unnoticed?
i like misadventures.
there's grub in the kitchen.
it looks worse than it is.
never bleed on the ground here. not even a drop.
can you imagine being mother to someone older than you?
there's always something to see.
don't smile with your mouth. smile with your eyes.
you want to split hairs?
you throw everything in the pot and boil the shit out of it.
be ready early.
i can spit quite far. i would make a good sailor.
keep listening, child!
we'll shave your head and give you beer.
watch what i do, boy. you might learn something.
you fucker!
there's something inside wanting out.
i need an assistant.
do you know what hell smells like? dead souls and roasted devil shit.
sometimes i go out with a trowel. i've found things.
all the dead really want is to rest at peace.
there's no such thing as ghosts.
the dead don't bloody come back.
do you want ice cream, or what?
you should find a place, somewhere you can be truly alone.
you're easily frightened.
i feel watched.
that bitch thinks she owns the place.
it's a tragedy when someone so full of life does themselves in.
you'll come now. or i'll fucking drag you out.
what is it with you and old blokes? you should try a young one.
you are a horror. now, please, let me sleep.
i wouldn't poke around down there if you paid me.
darling, we looked for you. of course we did.
have patience, will you?
i don't believe you. you made that story up.
i lost my nerve.
what would you say to a jigsaw?
we could dress up.
what's happened between the two of you?
get out from under my feet!
take this before bedtime.
i'd rather you didn't watch me nap.
will you give me your word that, once you are inside, you will refrain from stealing?
don't be too sure it's dead.
your death would be horrible. do you want to hear the various ways?
i'll think about it.
balls to that. you can go anywhere.
don't worry about him.
well, truth be told, we kicked the shit out of each other.
sometimes violence is a necessary evil, and it was a long time coming.
you've got a nerve, [name].
finish my crossword. make up the words if you want.
i'm tormented by it.
you look like you're a handful.
some of us are fucking sleeping here.
calm yourself, boy, you're shaking.
drink this slowly, you'll feel better.
now, tell me what happened.
dry your eyes and let's work it out.
see your way to make some better friends.
i never knew this was here.
and where the fuck do you think you're going?
your face. what happened?
who cares for you?
i would like the company.
want a coffee?
you keep an eye out for me and i'll keep an eye out for you.
sailors need to learn the language of the ship.
you're learning fast.
it's a witch stone. if you look through the hole, you can see what is yet to come, or what has been already.
your fortune finds you, not the other way around.
you spying on me, [name]?
friends take care of one another.
you like to roam.
now, shall we tidy you up?
i'm always in trouble.
if we get caught, i'll take the blame.
everyone's fear looks different.
they're just warnings for kids.
life is precarious.
the greatest disgrace of humankind is the failure of the strong to protect the weak.
we don't need monsters, we are the monsters.
it's better if you tell the truth.
are you going to beat me?
what's wrong with him? other than he's a miserable old bastard.
you twisted little bastard.
one day it might be funny, but it will always hurt.
you'll come and cheer me on?
thought you might like some reading material.
he's an awful prick, isn't he?
it's the way of long journeys. they alter what people think and see.
why the worried face, [nickname]?
being rich doesn't make him fine.
shut up! fuck's sake.
hello, little fucker.
we need to prepare ourselves for the worst.
maybe come down to the party later?
so this is the way it will be.
take the food for yourself, else you'll disappear.
you're as slippery-looking as an eel.
they're making it sound worse.
i'll put you through the wall.
if you stop that, i'll tell you a plan.
you're every bit a sailor.
everyone thinks it, no one says it.
be careful what you say and who to. be only where you are allowed to be.
don't go off on your own.
i'm just trying to understand what's going on in that fucking head on yours.
that's it, son, slow breath, in, out. then i can understand what you're trying to say.
you've a sprain on that wrist, not a break, which is one good thing.
the dead can't hurt you. it's the living you need to watch out for.
come out on the veranda for a bit of fresh air.
what sort of person would steal from the hungry?
you're all right, lad. you're all right.
who wants to be stabbed to death? i can do that very beautifully.
to catch a demon, you have to flush him out.
people aren't just their bloody deaths, you know.
you ready, son?
#ask meme#roleplay#inbox meme#inbox rp meme#askbox meme#meme#ask#roleplay meme#rp meme#askbox#tumblr roleplay#tumblr rp#rp#rp sentence meme#sentence starter meme#sentence starters#roleplay sentence meme#sentence meme#rp inbox meme#askbox rp
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First of all thank you for pointing out that Tai's advice would obviously only be about the fights he saw not Yang attacking Adam since he would have no idea what exacly happened there unless Yang told him details and even if she did I doubt he would blame her for what she did. Secondly I really wonder why there is so much more hate towards Tai for his failings than other parents or parental figures such as Qrow or Willow whose alcoholism has had much more of an impact much more recently. Not saying we should write them off as bad I actually love how their relationship with the kids was handled and shown to be quite complicated. It just seems like Tai's depression and the consequences of that are irredeemable while the failings of others barely get a mention. I really cannot tell why that is. It can't just be people loving Yang so they don't like any flaws being pointed out right?
a few things, imo 🤔
i think a big part of that is that qrow/willow have like. A Reason.
not that tai doesn’t have reasons for being the way he is but there’s no, you know, clear specific Reason behind everything bad that he does. like, qrow’s terrified of his semblance so he isolated himself which makes him miserable so he drinks all the time as a way of coping with that. or jacques abuses willow and essentially stole her company out from under her, so she’s miserable, so she drinks all the time. right?
leaving it at that is reductive, obviously—qrow has a lot of additional layers of complexity and depth, and while willow is a far more inconsequential character than he is she nonetheless has nuance beyond having been abused into alcoholism. but, the point is that they have A Specific Thing that unambiguously caused their personal failings, and that Specific Thing is represented, for both of them, by the visual symbol of alcohol, which has the additional benefit of giving them something tangible and immediate that they can Choose Not To Do as an illustration of their commitment to getting better.
tai, though. tai has reasons—raven left, summer died, his team fell apart, the world is falling apart, he’s raising two girls by himself in a cabin in the woods with what seems like minimal outside support, he’s got a heap of his own emotional baggage, parenting is fucking hard even under the best of circumstances—but he doesn’t have A Reason. why doesn’t he tell yang about the prosthetic arm as soon as he gets confirmation from ironwood? why does he turn away when his daughter is suffering? why try to tough love her into taking a big step she just said she’s not ready for? why is he still at home in v8 even though he implied in v4 that he would like to find ruby? there’s no obvious single answer. the closest thing tai has to A Reason is that summer’s death left him acutely depressed for a while, but then he got better, and that happened almost fifteen years ago—it doesn’t have the same immediate presence in tai’s character that misfortune has in qrow’s or jacques has in willows.
and i think that makes people kind of uncomfortable? we see tai brush off yang’s feelings or do nothing when she has a flashback or make a callous joke at her expense and there’s no clean, easy way to explain why he does that—there’s just tai being a flawed human being who fucks up while earnestly trying his best, and tracing the nebulous tangle of things that made him into this person doesn’t satisfy that fundamental desire for A REASON in the same way that qrow being haunted by misfortune or jacques hollowing willow out into a drunken shell of herself does.
aaand sometimes when people get uncomfortable we lash out; we feel upset or angry at the thing that made us uncomfortable, and no one wants to be irrational so of course we try to find reasons to justify those feelings, and often when the thing that made us uncomfortable is a fictional character what that looks like is vilifying them. all the more so if the character in question happens to hurt a character we like and/or relate to, because that adds in a level of defensiveness on behalf of that character against the wrongs (real or perceived) done by the one we don’t like. and of course because this is all fiction it is largely consequence-free; the character isn’t a real person with real feelings who can be hurt by us ranting angrily about them on the internet, the character doesn’t exist. so the real-life incentives to like, check ourselves and remind ourselves to give other people the same compassion and understanding we give to ourselves largely just don’t exist in this context.
secondly tai’s particular failings are very much tied to his inadequate support of yang while she’s recuperating from having her arm cut off, which is such an enormous, enormously fraught scenario to begin with, and then he gets it wrong in a way that is going to feel VERY familiar and VERY personal to anybody who has had a mental health issue and/or physical disability at any point in their lives. his kinda, oh it’s all in your head, quit holding yourself back, mentality is—yeah. gkdshj i think a lot of people who really strongly dislike tai are probably responding to the ableism in his attitude toward yang, which just isn’t a factor with any of the other parents in the show.
and again yang being a beloved protagonist inflames that reaction; we’ve all heard this kind of shit a million times, often from our own parents, we know how much it hurts, and it’s very natural to feel indignant or enraged or sad or defensive on behalf of a character we see not just being treated this way but seeming to internalize these ideas about herself.
thirdly, both qrow and willow are 1. aware of their failings and 2. making active, genuine efforts to do better. qrow starts inching towards sobriety in v5, relapses in v6, and then not only gets sober in v7-8 but also starts to work through the emotional issues that sucked him into alcoholism in the first place. and willow made her entrance into the story by expressing concern for weiss’s safety, implicitly acknowledging her failures as a parent (“you left him here. with us.”), and providing weiss with evidence that proved jacques’s wrongdoing and led to his arrest; and then in v8 we see her overcome her panicky desire to drink so she can protect her children from the hound, both by helping weiss track it through the manor and throwing herself into physical danger to rescue whitley when it cornered him.
they’re both firmly on a trajectory of GETTING BETTER, and the narrative invites us to root for them. yes, they made huge mistakes, hurtful mistakes, but they know it, they regret it, and they’re trying so hard to do better and fix it.
tai, though? it’s an open question whether taiyang even realizes that he messed up, at this point. he did his best, and from his point of view it probably looks like yang made a full recovery, and now he’s… doing whatever it is he’s doing on patch while hoping his daughters are okay out in the world. he’s not getting better. he’s not trying to fix his mistakes, and in all likelihood he doesn’t even know that there’s anything TO fix because he’s been so isolated since yang left. there’s nothing for the audience to root for because hasn’t begun to change, yet.
it’s a lot easier to cut people some slack if you can see they’re really trying to do better than before, yeah? in fiction as in real life. if/when tai comes back into the story and starts having to confront his own failings i think it’s pretty likely that general fandom perceptions of him will soften up.
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Grief is fucking weird. I remember one of the days where I almost followed through committing suicide, it was just a few months ago. I had enough of the endless pain and the constant images of suicide and just gross disgusting intrusive thoughts that rule over my life and make me feel like a danger to everyone I come to contact with. So I messaged a friend and told him if I didn’t go to A&E I wouldn’t know what would happen. I thought about a cliff that’s wasn’t super high but it was high enough for death or at least to fuck up my body badly. I thought about jumping off. And not going to lie, other than the few seshes and extra moments with my friends (plus my first time taking acid) there wasn’t really much I would have missed if I did take my life that night. Because I still feel the same. I had to talk about why I felt like that, blah blah blah. Something that sort of stuck with me though was something the mental health nurse said. My dad was a physically abusive alcoholic, he got divorced by my mum and left us and then last year he died. She said I was grieving him in three ways, when he wasn’t the father he should have been, when he left and now that he’s dead. And it sort of explained why I’m still very effected by him, why I miss him so much even though there’s nothing good to miss. Now I have a endless hole that cannot be filled because he’s not here and will never be here. I just wanna die but the thought of leaving my friends who I love and care about so much and how confused they’ll be once I’m gone is heart breaking. I think they all assume that I’m too naive to suffer or something but in reality simply existing hurts so bad. I have put on this fake optimism that fools so many people so people take me for granted a lot since they think I wouldn’t notice or care. But I do. I really do. I notice and it hurts cos sometimes I feel there resentment wishing they could be this “carefree” but in reality I’m trapped by an endless loop of self hatred and I can’t escape it. People have denied my depression because of this facade of optimism. So the thought of my friends crying about how “seemed so happy” or was “ the lovable idiot” makes me hurt so bad, because it’d be unsuspected if I killed myself. My friends r miserable but like it’s a lot more outward but I keep it all inside and the only person who knows I’m suffering is my best friend. And that was in accident, he walked in on too many of my breakdowns. The instinct to mask my pain is so automatic it’s killing me and stopping me from getting help. I can’t realise my emotions infront of people.
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Hello ! I saw the enemies fo lovers things and I wanna request if possible
“ rich coming from the guy who tried to kill me three days ago. “
With frank if you would and thank you
yessirrr i love frank sm it’s not ok. also umm i may have accidentally written friends to enemies to lovers or something idk. and though i wouldnt necessarily call you friends at the start, you werent really enemies yet???? idk🐸just ummm yeh i love frank
also help how do i not go overboard???? i feel like i made this way too long, please help and i am sorry
warnings: canon-typical violence, swearing, frank being a bastard but then you’re like awwww he’s a cute bastard aaaaw
~~
Things were weird with Frank, and they always had been from the moment you stepped foot in the Entity’s realm. He always tunneled you relentlessly, and that made you think of him as a big asshole, but there were some strange details tacked onto the sentiment that greatly confused you, should you think about it for more than three seconds.
Sometimes, it seemed like he went easy on you in chases, like he put in no effort. He would chase you for a while, let you waste his time, and then leave without even getting a hit on you when he definitely had the ability to.
And you hated saying this, but when he handled you, it almost felt…gentle. Granted, he was a killer, and his job was to murder you, but your experiences with him did not quite line up with those of the other survivors.
They always described trials against Frank as “stepping on legos in the middle of the night” or something akin to that. You never felt like that, though—when he chased you, it felt fair. Almost as if he played nice with you. And more often than not, the killer would let you go when he caught you. The reason remained a mystery to you until quite a bit later.
This trial, Frank was in 100% bastard mode. You had begun to think of his trials as quite easy due to his seemingly calm nature around you, so you were rather caught off guard when he downed you in the first 30 seconds of the match and tossed you onto a hook, no gentleness whatsoever.
You wanted to yell at him and ask what the fuck was wrong with him until you realized this was his fucking job, and this is how he should have been treating you all along. Maybe you had just been imagining it all, but you could have sworn he used to leave you alone more than this. Something just felt different.
After you were unhooked, he went for you again. And again. And then you were dead, completely wiped out of the trial. Frank had demolished you with no remorse.
You knew it was silly to feel betrayed, but you really couldn’t help it. In such an insane and hellish place, anything that could be even remotely perceived as kindness seemed like so much more of a big deal than it truly was. So Frank’s supposed “gentleness” with you had felt somewhat like a friend doing you a selfless favor. Of course, it was not a selfless favor, and it was certainly nowhere near kindness, because he was still a killer chasing you with a knife, but your standards had really lowered in this place.
After that trial, you were back to hating Frank for tunneling and bullying you (like you probably should). You began to understand the survivors’ saying about the legos—and you hoped that Frank would step on some legos too, because he fucking sucked sometimes.
And for a while, that’s just how it was. You nearly forgot how he used to go easier on you, and how you used to do okay in his matches. Now every time you were pit against each other it just felt like you were being stuck with a bunch of pins; you never had any time to breathe or rest or do literally anything. He just went after you until you were gone, and there was next to nothing you could do about it.
Everything changed very suddenly during a trial at Ormond.
You were expecting the same old routine with this asshole—chase, blah blah blah, die. You hardly had energy to fight back anymore.
So when he arrived out of breath at the killer shack, somehow knowing you would be here, Frank was surprised to find you relaxing under the window with your arms loosely crossed, a disapproving scowl upon your countenance. It was enough to make him hesitate in his tracks.
You let out a deep breath, refusing to break eye contact with his mask; you kept up that menacing frown for as long as you could, trying to make him feel guilty (who knows if it was even possible for him to feel guilty? But it was worth a try).
“Just kill me,” you said, voice steady and seemingly unbothered. Underneath the surface, you were trembling, but you stood your ground. “That’s what you’re gonna do, isn’t it? You’re going to chase me until I’m miserable and kill me off as soon as you can?”
Frank went still, not even fidgeting with his knife like he usually did; he was intrigued by your sudden confidence.
You went on. “I’m really sick and tired of you, you know that? I’m sick of you and your bullshit. Why can’t you treat me like everybody else? At first, you went easy on me. Now you just torture me with your stupid mind games, and frankly, I’m sick of playing! I’m done with you—I don’t care anymore! Just kill me, and I’ll get out of your way, okay asshole? Mori me if you want. I don’t give a shit.”
You put your hands up exasperatedly, fully expecting him to take the offer and just send you back to the campfire right then and there. But the man sighed, pocketed his knife, and sat down right next to you as if this were a normal thing for him to do.
You scooted a few inches away out of instinct. Frank noticed, but he chose not to say a word about it.
It was a long time before he said anything, and when he finally did, you wanted to punch him so bad.
“It’s complicated,” he mumbled. And that was all.
Oh, yeah? It was complicated? You scoffed, hanging your head with a bitter smile. “Oh, okay. Sure.”
Silence again.
Awkward, suffocating silence.
And then Frank got up and left. You were unbothered for the remainder of the trial, not even a scratch or bruise on your body.
~~
Sometimes you simply did things, and you didn’t know why. This thing that you just did was irrational, stupid, unplanned, unwise, and everything in-between, and you knew it was, but frequently you just had no impulse control. Perhaps it was the Entity’s influence, or maybe you had always been this way—you couldn’t really remember.
How did you get here again? Why were you laying on the ground? And why did your leg hurt so fucking much?
Oh, yes. Yes, yes, you remember now.
Funnily enough, it seems as though the Entity, along with certain killers, did not like it when survivors tried to enter their side of the forest! But you did it anyways, and it appeared that you had suffered the consequences. It’s not like you had put much thought into it; where was the point in that when nothing mattered anymore and you were stuck in an endless cycle of death?
You remembered entering the killer’s woods, looking around, and doing…something. What was that something? You couldn’t be sure, but then you remembered somebody coming up to you and probably definitely hurting you. Yep, your leg definitely was in a lot of pain. You couldn’t even look at it. Did you pass out for a while? Maybe. How long were you out for?
You lay still there for a while, thinking. Man, it really hurt, and boy, were you miserable. Maybe more miserable than you’d ever felt here. The Entity normally healed wounds immediately, but perhaps you had just angered it so much you deserved to suffer.
Oh, dear! You seemed to be passing out at this time. Yes, that was almost certainly what was happening. Black spots danced across your eyes as your body began to feel distant and numb, but you didn’t feel very worried about it. In fact, you felt like making jokes right now, but you had nobody to make jokes to and you probably couldn’t even speak.
Just as you began to accept it, there was a strange thumping sensation vibrating through the ground growing closer…and closer…
Footsteps! That’s good!
Oh. Not if it’s a killer. That’s not good, probably.
But you had no way of protesting when you felt yourself being picked up, because those black spots in your eyes were dancing a lot faster now, perhaps something akin to an Irish jig, and you also couldn’t feel your limbs.
Then you were fast asleep again, dreaming of Irish dancers who were actually big fluffy cloud people wearing leprechaun clothes. Nobody but you would ever know this, and it was going to stay that way.
On the bright side, it made it a lot easier for your rescuer to carry you to safety like this.
~~
When you awoke once more, you were horrified to find yourself in the Ormond lodge of all places. You knew immediately what had happened and were determined to escape as soon as possible.
Your injured leg proved to be a huge problem, however, and you collapsed the second you attempted to find freedom. Trying again, you collapsed once more, and probably maimed yourself further in the process.
Hearing the commotion from the second floor, your least favorite member of The Legion descended down from the main stairs, refusing to look directly at you even as he scooped you up and plunked you (gently) back onto the couch, which was rather comfortable (not that you would ever tell him that).
So he was playing it cool, huh?
Okay. You could play it cool, too. You were cool. Smooth as butter.
No. You really couldn’t be cool in a situation like this, and plus, your mind was still a little woohoo since whatever accident had occurred. Suddenly you blurted out, “Frank, I hate your guts.”
And he had the audacity to laugh. He laughed at you! He did the man chuckle thing, as if what you were saying was funny. No! You were completely serious! You did hate his guts!
Perhaps your face showed how upset you were, because he started to apologize (still laughing).
“Maybe you should go back to sleep,” Frank said after calming down a bit.
No. You couldn’t go back to sleep. You did not want to experience dancing cloud people dressed as leprechauns ever again in your life, for the rest of eternity. Never again.
So you shook your head violently, refusing to give an explanation, which just provoked Frank to anger all of a sudden. If you went back to sleep, he could have some alone time while the rest of The Legion was gone. He kept pushing, and you kept resisting, and he pushed and you resisted, until finally he gave up and let you off with a warning. If you made him mad again, he was throwing you out in the snow.
Fine with me, you said. Okay, I’ll do it right now, he said. No balls, you said.
So then Frank casually went to scoop you up in his arms again, and you started to freak out and beat your hands against his chest until he put you back down. He was was awfully mindful of your hurt leg for someone who was about to throw you into the snow.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry—please don’t throw me out,” you fussed. You thought he wouldn’t actually do it. You didn’t know it, but you were right—he was just messing with you because it was funny seeing you scared.
After a bit more griping back and forth, Frank began to grow concerned about your leg. He didn’t know how to bring up the topic because things were so odd between the two of you; this was your first interaction since the brief encounter in the shack. But he swallowed his pride, because the wound seemed to be getting worse by the minute.
“Hey, do you want me to, uhh…get some supplies?” Frank asked awkwardly. When you didn’t understand, he continued, “Your leg? It looks like it hurts…I could fix it if you want.”
You barked out a laugh at his words, unbelieving of this shift in attitude. “Rich coming from the guy who tried to kill me three days ago,” you snickered, genuinely finding it amusing.
Frank took offense. He was trying to be nice for once, and you thought it was funny. And his situation really was complex, whether you chose to believe it or not. Maybe he should just tell you to get it off of his chest.
“Listen,” he said, voice laced with seriousness. “When I told you things were complicated, I meant it.”
Sensing the mood change from his tone and body language, you stopped smiling and decided to pay attention to him. Just this once. Never again. After this you could go back to hating him.
Frank continued. “The Entity was going to start…well, hurting me, if I didn’t start doing better in trials. I really didn’t want to sacrifice you, which is embarrassing to admit, but I’ll say it. And I don’t think it liked that.”
You were surprised. And also relieved that you had been right all along—he had been going easy on you at first.
“Why me, though?” you asked, confused. “Why wouldn’t you want to sacrifice me? What about the other survivors?”
If the slight tilt of his head at your question didn’t answer it for you, the way he started tapping his feet and cracking his knuckles so nervously did.
Boy, if looks could kill, you would have died instantly at the scowl Frank sent your way; you grinned pridefully at the realization that this man was down bad. You couldn’t see the expression behind his mask, though, which Frank was thankful for.
He hated every second of this, but you loved it. You reveled in his embarrassment.
Leaning forward on your hands, you begged, “Tell me more! I want to hear all about your feelings for me.”
“I could stab you right now, you know that?”
“But you won’t. You liiiiike me!”
“What are you, eight years old?”
“No, but I am severely injured and have lost a lot of blood so I am not necessarily in the right headspace at the moment.”
“You make a fair point.”
“So tell me! What’s your favorite thing about me?”
“Your ass.”
“No, really.”
“Okay, your ass and your hair.”
“You know what, Frank, I still hate your guts.”
“No, you don’t.”
You paused for a moment. It was probably the blood loss talking, you decided later, but you said, “No. Maybe I don’t.”
#:) i kinda rly like this ahaha it was fun#i hope it’s okay <3#fruggo writes#requests#enemies to lovers prompt#frank morrison x reader#frank morrison#the legion x reader#the legion#dbd x reader#dbd oneshot#dbd writing#dead by daylight x reader#dead by daylight#dbd#dbd frank
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i've been keeping a list of possible prompts for you and there's one i have no memory of adding that just says "courtesan nmj????" so i guess that's the prompt you're getting lmao
What Does the Fox Say - ao3
“Second Madame Nie!” a disciple shouted, rushing into her little garden. She didn’t recognize him, but he was solidly built and well-muscled like most of the others – truly, the Unclean Realm was a rapturous feast for one with eyes to see it. Yum, yum. “Second Madame Nie, I have bad news!”
Boo. She hated bad news: bad news meant she’d have to do something, usually, and right now she was seated very comfortably in a pleasant piece of sun in the garden path that’d been made up just for her and to her preferences, with her feet up on a chair and a full plate of fruit from the kitchen on the table in front of her just begging to be devoured, morsel by delicious morsel.
Her schedule was packed!
“I regret to tell you, but your husband has been killed!”
“Oh,” she said, frowning slightly. “Has he? How obnoxious of him.”
How unreliable. Men.
She sighed.
“Second Madame – Second Madame – you don’t understand!” The disciple was all red-eyed and weepy, which was a look she liked, especially in big, stout men like this. The salt added a bit of spice to the whole thing. “You must flee at once! He was killed by Sect Leader Wen in an act of outright aggression – Sect Leader Wen has declared war – the Wen sect is invading!”
She nodded and picked up another lychee to start peeling it. She’d get around to fleeing in her own time. As long as this Wen sect or whatnot was being led by a man, she wasn’t terribly concerned.
“They intend to wipe out the inheritance of Qinghe Nie! They will rip out the child in your belly!”
She hummed noncommittally. Really, how attached was she to having a child of her own? Really?
“They will slaughter civilians – execute Nie-gongzi –”
Her hands stilled.
“What,” she said, and the disciple took a step back automatically, proving that he, at least, had something more of a survival instinct than her late husband did. “Hurt my little meat bun? My darling rice roll? My savory zongzi?”
She stood up, diminutive height and over-large belly and frilly clothing doing absolutely nothing to diminish the vaguely menacing aura that darkened the sky around her. She bared her teeth.
“Who does this upstart Wen dog think he is?!”
The disciple blinked owlishly, but nodded, seeming relieved that she’d finally accepted his concern, though she could see on his face that he was thinking that her reasoning was – characteristically – a little strange. But then again, and she could see this thought process on his far too honest face, it was well known that the second Madame Nie been quite strange ever since Sect Leader Nie had found her in some lonesome place with no family or background and brought her back to be his new wife nevertheless.
Such a charming man. Pity about his loss, really.
“You have to flee at once, we can’t possibly fight so many people,” the disciple said once more, and this time she nodded in agreement. “We can escort you to a hidden exit –”
“No!” a little voice called. “We can’t go.”
She turned to look, and there was the little pork-and-shrimp dumpling himself, chubby-cheeked and earnest-eyed, looking as delicious as always.
“What do you mean, fish cake?” she asked. “Of course we have to go. Didn’t you hear what this strapping young man said? This Wen person wants to kill you!”
“If Father is dead, then I’m the sect leader,” her stepson said. He was serious and solemn in a way that made her want to pinch his cheeks and bury her face into his belly to blow raspberries, and also possibly to eat him right up, flesh and marrow and gristle and all. “That means it’s my responsibility to preserve the Nie sect.”
“Nie-gongzi, no!” the disciple cried, throwing himself to his knees in a dramatic display of loyalty. “You would only die – far better for you to run, and live!”
“Then isn’t the same true for everyone else?” the tasty little dish asked, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting. Possibly he was trying to put on a fierce expression, maybe, she couldn’t quite tell sometimes. He was so cute. “Why should I live, and them not? I refuse to buy my life with their deaths!”
“But – Nie-gongzi –”
Her charming little honey cake shook his head and held up a hand to stop the disciple, turning to look at her instead.
“Second Mother,” he said, and he had that wholesome trusting expression again that was such a perfect little one-shot-kill to the heart, ugh. “You always said you’re the best at hiding. The best in the world, no one better among all the gods or demons!”
She was, too. She couldn’t help but preen a little, proud.
“– can’t you do something?”
“Oh, darling cabbage bun,” she said, not without fondness. “I can hide myself from even the net of Heaven itself if I so choose, from gods and demons alike, and I can most certainly hide a small group from any mortal eyes that dare to look, if you don’t mind being a little tiny bit dishonorable about the business. But an entire sect? That’s a bit much, even for someone as talented and skilled as me.”
Her stepson looked up at her, all straight-steel sincerity and upright righteousness wrapped into a perfectly edible little snack-sized package. “If we split them up, the sect could be small groups,” he said eagerly. “Couldn’t you do something then?”
He was so cute, and he trusted her. He trusted her, believed in her, felt that she could perform miracles with a wave of her sleeve if only she so wished.
It was awful.
She couldn’t bear it.
“Oh all right, you nummy little slice of roast pork belly,” she said, yielding. “But I’m telling you now, it won’t be the least bit honorable! There’s only so many excuses you can come up with for having a lot of strong men with wide shoulders and women with thick thighs hanging around, and not a single one of them has the slightest bit to do with what you people consider to be appropriate.”
“That’s all right. Preserving human life comes first, always.”
The disciple looked between them, clearly completely confused. Clearly all his effort had been spent on developing the muscles in his arms (quite nice) rather than his brain (quite slow).
“What?” he said. “What’s happening?”
“We’re saving the sect,” Nie Mingjue announced happily, clapping his hands together. Too precious, too precious entirely; she’d have to make sure no one else even thought about going near her darling little snackling. “Tell everyone to prepare to evacuate.”
“That will take too long,” she said, and smiled, with teeth. “Let me call some friends to help.”
-
When the Wen sect arrived at the Unclean Realm, they found the gate open.
That was unexpected enough, but when they entered, they found that the entire place had emptied out – not just of people, but of everything else, too. There wasn’t a single intact chair or table in the entire place, not a scrap of cloth nor a bit of food, like it’d been swept clean by locusts or wild monkeys come to pilfer whatever they could.
Even the paving stones where arrays had been laid out by the Nie sect’s ancestors had been pried up and carted away.
Sect Leader Wen ordered a search, but there wasn’t any trace of it – of the people, of the stuff, anything.
No one ever found out what happened.
-
Jin Guangyao despised social events, he’d found.
It was one thing when it was something he’d planned himself, where the work was interesting enough to distract him, but when he was an honored guest for someone else…miserable. Utterly miserable.
The only thing more miserable was when the host was his erstwhile father, from whom he’d forcefully extracted recognition. With Wen Ruohan as his backer, indulging his favorite torturer as if a beloved pet, there wasn’t much Jin Guangshan could do to refuse, and neither could he force Jin Guangyao to do anything on his behalf, either. And so Jin Guangyao, sitting as always by Wen Ruohan’s side, right beneath his sons, was now an honored guest at his father’s house, getting offered his pick of prostitutes as if the man had no notion of the irony.
Maybe he didn’t. Jin Guangyao couldn’t quite tell if his father had just forgotten his origins, thinking his bastard son too unimportant to remember the details of, or whether it was meant as a deliberate insult – who could tell?
“Oh, right,” the simpering idiot in front of him, a nephew or cousin of some sort to the sect leader, said. “Our dear Jin Guangyao is known not to like the gentle flower queens, even when they come from the finest houses in Lanling. Isn’t that right, cousin?”
Jin Guangyao’s fists clenched. A deliberate insult, then.
Despite that, his face remained neutral. Instead, he chuckled and said, “The appeal is limited. After all, I have seen the best of them.”
Beside him, Wen Ruohan nodded and smirked. He appreciated Jin Guangyao’s devotion to his mother, though Jin Guangyao suspected it was because he thought it funny that Jin Guangyao would bother to honor such a lowly woman – but what he thought didn’t matter, not really. All that mattered was that he let Jin Guangyao pay his respects to her to his heart’s content.
“Well, you’re in luck!” the idiot Jin Zixun said, looking absurdly smug. “We have something of a different flavor than the usual tonight – we’ve invited entertainment from the local branch of Splendid Spring.”
Jin Guangyao barely managed to avoid rolling his eyes.
The Splendid Spring Palace was a series of brothels that had popped up fully formed just about everywhere some years back, with madams and girls and musicians and bodyguards of all sorts. It was so patently a political move that Jin Guangyao had barely bothered to pay attention to it once he’d become actually powerful, and Wen Ruohan hadn’t paid attention to it at all. After all, in the unlikely event that the business really was backed by a cultivation sect that didn’t care about its face any longer, anyone who needed to use such a façade to gather power was clearly beneath notice.
Jin Guangyao had paid only very little attention, but to different and unusual aspects of the place: by all accounts, they were surprisingly decent employers as far as places like that went. They didn’t steal girls or accept unwilling goods – they had some connection with the merchant caravans, or at least one of the companies that helped coordinate routes and provide protection to such things, and they were as meticulous about checking things over as they were about seeking refunds if they were dissatisfied – and they did accept married girls fleeing unhappy marriages, which not everyone did. They did buy up all the girls in the local markets wherever they were, but they swept them away and brought them back transformed, even the ones that wouldn’t sell because they were too ugly; Jin Guangyao assumed that meant they had people who were talented in make-up and clothing, since the usual rumors of the girls being blessed with a yao’s enchantment were obviously ridiculous and nothing more than the usual marketing gimmicks that brothels since time immemorial had tried.
Even once they had the girls in hand, the places were pretty decent: they had physicians on staff to help with the usual side effects of the business, made sure their girls were clean and healthy, and were said to even limit the number of customers a girl would be obliged to take on in a given evening…honestly, knowing as he did the brothel business, Jin Guangyao sometimes wondered how they’d managed to bespell enough people to even make money in the early days. At any rate, whatever they’d done, it’d worked, because by now they had a solid enough reputation to trade on.
In short: a decent enough place, far better than the usual run of the mill. Once he’d had the ability to do so, he’d even pulled a few strings and arranged for the better of his mother’s old compatriots to end up there, since he couldn’t convince them to leave their old professions behind entirely.
Anyway, if they also seemed to have a sideline in information brokering and assassinations, well, let them. In the cultivation world, where the only thing that mattered was strength, real strength.
A little thing like that wouldn’t make any real difference.
Or so Jin Guangyao had thought.
He found himself re-thinking that, though, when the entertainment in question came out. There were the usual set of attractive (albeit in a wider variety of shapes and sizes than usually seen) dancers, dressed up in silks that seemed actually high quality, and plenty of strapping young men carrying sabers – dancers as well, once assumed, to provide some spice to the entertainment, and implicitly on the offer for men who cut their sleeves or women with more flexibility, like widows or ones with especially permissive husbands. Wen Ruohan’s wives were in that latter category, and they were already whispering to each other excitedly, looking at them.
They’d even brought in the local madame, who was…
Well, she was actually breathtaking, even by Jin Guangyao’s extremely jaded standards. She had hair that fell almost all the way to her ankles, shimmering in the light, and dark eyes shining with liveliness, a smooth and ageless face that simultaneously suggested youth and health but also winked at knowable experience, the features characteristic of what his mother’s employers had called the ‘fox-face’. As if to emphasize that, the lady was wrapped in fox-fur and draped in embroidered brocade, with little stylized foxes running up and down the hems of her clothing and along the gazy silk draped on her shoulders.
It ought to have looked absurd, looked gaudy and overwrought and overdone, but it didn’t.
She was a thousand dreams of wealth and beauty and power and sex appeal all wrapped up in one, and even Jin Guangyao – who was in his personal preferences quite firmly a cutsleeve – couldn’t help but intrigued by her, wondering what it might be like to touch the hem of such a glorious creature.
And next to her…
The lady was accompanied by two men that seemed completely different from each other. One was a slender and winsome young man, fluttering his eyelashes from behind a fan with a charming smile, emanating the appeal of softness and weakness, ready to be indulged. While the other…
Jin Guangyao swallowed.
He was the exact opposite of the first man. Clearly strong, muscular and powerful, and tall to the point of towering, with wide shoulders and a narrow waist, a chest that you could lean your head against and an ass that begged to have someone’s hands on it – and there were his hands, big and broad, perfect for holding someone down or up if they so wished and of a size that was very promising as to what was only hinted at under his clothes. His face was hidden behind a veil as if he were a woman, marking him, like his comrade, as one of the available courtesans of the Splendid Spring, but his body was visible under clothing clearly cut to put it to the best advantage.
And oh, what advantages it had…!
“It seems we found something to the tastes of dear cousin Guangyao after all,” the idiot said mockingly, sniggering and snorting like the pig he was, and for once Jin Guangyao didn’t even care.
“Who’s the woman in front?” Wen Ruohan asked, ignoring their interplay. He seemed utterly fascinated, almost spellbound, and Jin Guangyao couldn’t blame him one bit. If this woman had been at the same brothel as his mother, there wouldn’t have even been room for jealousy or shame; his mother would have gone straight up to her to ask for some tips. “She seems…familiar, somehow.”
“That’s the madame of the Splendid Spring,” Jin Zixun said proudly, as if he’d done anything at all in relation to this – nonsense, of course. Everyone know which brothels were backed by the Jin sect, and Splendid Spring wasn’t one of them. He was acting as if he deserve a pat on the back just for the introduction! “That means she’s not for sale.”
His smile faded a little, twisting in a small bit of bitterness. “Or so she told my uncle, anyway…although I’m sure if it were Sect Leader Wen asking, the answer would undoubtedly be different.”
Probably because Jin Guangshan couldn’t slaughter prostitutes with impunity if they said no to him, whereas no one could stop Wen Ruohan from doing any damn thing he pleased.
Wen Ruohan grunted, pleased by the answer – he was a possessive man, in the rare events that he did exert himself in the realm of women, and there had been more than one instance where he’d stolen away some girl his sons had been eyeing first just for the joy of having had her first – and raised a hand, catching the lady’s eye and gesturing for her to come over, which she did.
“What’s your name?” he asked.
She laughed. “You can call me Hu Jiuwei. With the ‘Hu’ being the character for fox.”
Jin Guangyao tried not to choke. There were false names and then there were false names – the lady’s theme was already clearly related to foxes, given her fox-face and fox-fur lining and the foxes embroidered onto her robes. Was the over-the-top name really necessary?
“It’s a fake name,” she added, unnecessarily.
“I see,” Wen Ruohan said, sounding a little choked himself. Possibly it was the woman calling herself ‘Foxy Ninetails’ and then kindly reassuring them all that the name was false as if she thought them too dumb to figure it out that was tripping him up a little. Jin Guangyao couldn’t tell if she was doing it deliberately in order to make her frankly inhuman beauty a little less frightening, or maybe she was blessed with so much beauty that she hadn’t bothered to cultivate her brain at all. “Are you our entertainment for the evening?”
She smiled, and any complaints Jin Guangyao (or indeed Wen Ruohan) might have had about her intelligence faded away at once.
It was that type of smile.
You could wreck nations with that type of smile. Jin Guangyao couldn’t help but wonder: how had a woman this extraordinary ended up in a brothel, of all places? How had no one snatched her up to keep her all for himself before now?
“My sons and I –” she gestured at the two behind her, “– would be more than happy to provide you with all the entertainment you could possibly want.”
Her smile widened.
“We’ve been hoping for an opportunity like this for a long time.”
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Abuse of Children Portrayed in Film
I like to use movies as an escape from the harshness of the real world and one of the things that I have learned about in my education is the effects on children when they are mistreated. I have a Masters Degree in Developmental Psychology and one of the hardest classes for me to handle was Abnormal Development in Children and Adolescents. We covered everything from dealing with dyslexia and ADHD to surviving severe abuse and loss at a very early age. We had guest speakers that ranged from people who had escaped genocide as children, to individuals who had been sold into prostitution by their parents, to people who had suffered severe abuse from their parents or guardian. I have heard stories that will stick with me forever and that is nightmare fuel that I don't want to share.
Because of my background education, I take note of the treatment and behavior of children and adolescents in the movies that I watch. There have been many great movies over the years that have depicted the suffering of children and it has always been difficult for me to deal with. There are more well known examples of films that focus on suffering but throw in more of a "sometimes we all suffer, even the children" message that demonstrate that kids aren't immune to great travesties (basically any film about The Holocaust). There are also well known films that show children "coming of age" through hardship (Annie 1982, Oliver! 1968) but end perfectly. There is a more current series of films that focuses entirely on a boy discovering a fantasy world that was robbed from him when his parents were murdered by a tyrant (Harry Potter series). But in this list I want to review some lesser known films that show examples of abuse. Even after all that I have seen and heard, the following list of films have affected me personally for one reason or another. Sometimes the children in these films endure and overcome their situation in the end. Sometimes these children do not survive or sadly remain in their misfortunes. To me, this can make the movie all the more powerful because of the incredible amount of pathos that endangering a child character can add. It can also make it a heart wrenching experience that is painful to watch. Here are some powerful films in which children suffer and the struggle is one of the main plot lines of the movie:
SPOILER WARNING AND VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISORY!!! I AM GOING TO GIVE AWAY THE PLOT TO THESE FILMS AND IT SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING THAT SOME OF THE PLOTS ARE DISTURBING!!! EITHER WATCH THE FILM IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS OR CHECK OUT THE FOLLOWING SUMMARIES IF YOU WOULD RATHER JUST HEAR WHAT HAPPENS SO YOU KNOW IF YOU WANT TO WATCH OR NOT!!!
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Sybil (TV Movie) 1976
I just recently saw this film after I had heard of the story in my abnormal development class almost 10 years ago. It is the story of a woman who developed multiple personalities to deal with a childhood in the care of an undiagnosed schizophrenic mother. The movie stars Sally Fields and is based on a true account of Shirley Ardell Mason and her treatment by psychologist Cornelia Wilbur. The acting in the film is overdramatic at times, but it definitely reminded me of some of the actual old videos of Shirley Mason and her sudden strange switches in personality when she was scared or anxious. Dr. Wilbur used hypnosis to actually introduce Mason to her alternate personalities and she was able to recognize her disassociative identity disorder and overcome it. It still hurts me to think that this person was mentally wounded so deeply by her parents that it basically shattered her into pieces in an effort to make sense of things.
Leon: The Professional 1994
I mention this film a lot because it is a heartwarming story of an assassin teaching a young orphan how to murder. It is the breakout role for Natalie Portman and it is just amazing. Leon is a "cleaner" that lives next door to an abusive and addictive family with a troubled girl named Mathilda. The father gets in trouble with the mob and some enforcers come by and slaughter most of the family while Mathilda is getting groceries. She returns during the massacre and realizes what is happening so continues next door and pleads for shelter. Leon takes her in and teachers her the trade and protects her from the men who want to finish her off. The movie was written and directed by Luc Besson and stars Jean Reno, Gary Oldman, and Natalie Portman. The suffering that this girl endures because of her parent's addictions hurts me, yet I have seen and enjoyed this film many times. I recommend watching when in the mood to be deeply affected by the trials of a little girl and the killer who protected her.
Kids 1995
This film came out when I was early in high school and bothered me greatly. It is a story by Harmony Korine, and one of his many attempts to capture the hopeless lives of unmotivated and unsupervised teens. These are young teens having unprotected sex, stealing money to do drugs, and attacking people in the park. I did not really go to these kinds of parties when I was that age (or ever really) and it has bothered me to think that adolescents would partake in this kind of behavior. It is hard for me to believe that these kids had the ability to mentally comprehend the consequences of their actions and some of the characters end up contracting HIV from each other. I would not recommend the film because it is a depressing day in the life that no youth should have.
Gummo 1997
I would not call this a good movie and I wouldn't really recommend it. It is another work by Harmony Korine and really details the depravity that can occur with unsupervised youths living in low socio-economic conditions. This movie is just depressing and motivated me to find something to motivate me into action. I got into both psychology and teaching, which has served me well for the past 20 years. It was this film that showed me how low the bar for quality of life could be, and I guess for that I am thankful. However, I still wouldn't recommend it.
Happiness 1998
This movie I didn't see right away but noticed it at the video store on many occasions. I final watched it when I was about 25 on the recommendation of a friend and one particular storyline greatly disturbed me. It is basically the story of 3 sisters that feel they should be happy and project a face of happiness, yet they are miserable and have horrible lives. One sister in particular is married to a psychiatrist who turns out to be a pedophile that rapes the friends of his young son. At one point rather early on in the movie, this man confesses to his son that he raped the boy's friends and that he would do it again. The son is so confused that he asks his father why he never raped him. It is so disturbing to me because I know the boys that were assaulted will be forever damaged and this boy who was not actually raped will be mentally scarred as well. The fact that there are people in the world that would harm children that way, recognize what they had done, and then know they didn't have the self control to stop themselves from doing it again is horrifying to me.
Lilya 4-Ever 2002
This film is deeply disturbing and I highly recommend never watching it. I will spoil it for you now so you never have to see it if you don't want. A 16-year-old girl named Lilya lives with her mother. The mom gets a boyfriend and the couple move to America and abandons Lilya with a neglectful aunt. The aunt movies into the old apartment of her sister and Lilya is forced to move out and become a prostitute to make money. A boy comes along and convinces her to move to Sweden to escape her life. When they arrive, this boy sells her to a pimp and she becomes a teenage sex slave. She almost escapes, but is then captured and beaten almost to death. She escapes again and this time commits suicide so she won't be recaptured. This movie is awful and changed my mind about giving every film a chance. I wish I could forget this film, but I can't. Perhaps it is just not for me, but this film presentation is definitely an experience that you won't soon forget.
The Kite Runner 2007
I read this book in my twenties and saw the film in my thirties and both affected me greatly. A well-to-do boy and his friend are in a kite battle competition and the friend is beaten and raped when he goes to retrieve a fallen kite. The well-to-do boy denies knowing what happened to his friend (he does know) and basically shames and abandons him. This action haunts the well-to-do boy for the rest of his life. How the boy who was raped is basically falling prey to blaming the victim is heartbreaking, and the lifetime of guilt of the other boy is pitiable. Neither boy was the actual attacker yet they both were the ones that suffered.
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There are many other examples of movies along these lines and could be found if you feel like suffering. I can't say that I would recommend them because they are very difficult to watch. Beyond just dealing with the content, it is rare to find child actors who can actually portray somebody who has truly suffered. The mix of bad acting and a depressing plot can make for a terrible movie going experience. The genre of movie involving suffering does exist, though, and it could be enjoyed (?) by some. Just not generally by me.
#harmony korine#gummo#kids#the kite runner#suffering#psychology#depressing movies#introvert#introverts#happiness#lilya 4 ever#leon the professional#movies
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Precious Life
Pairing: JJ x reader
REQUEST (From anon): could you write a jj maybank imagine where he and the reader are together, but she pushes him away due to her mental health. she has insecurity issues after her last boyfriend and her bestfriend passed a few months ago leaving her horribly depressed. finally, she opens up to him and its just super fluffy and he showers her in love and support.
Note: Thank you so much for the request and I’m so sorry it took me a while to write, but hopefully you like it. I kinda suck at fluff, so I’m sorry if it’s not enough fluff. Let me know what you think!
Word Count: 5k
Warnings: mentions of death of a friend, mental trauma from a past relationship, depression
You don’t know when it happened - whether it was overnight or throughout the past few weeks. Unlike everyone else who was excited about the summer finally beginning after what felt like the longest school year of your life, your days felt darker as you dreaded the upcoming season. You use to love summer - hell, you thrived during the hottest months of the year. You loved outdoor dining, surfing, beach parties, going out on the boat in the marsh with your friends. But now the thought of doing those activities made you want to vomit.
After your best friend passed away only a few months ago, you lost interest in all those activities. Because they all reminded you of her. She was the one who brought you out of you shell and pulled you out of your dark place when the world felt too unbearable to live in anymore. And now she was gone. Just like that. Life is so precious, you remember people telling you that at her funeral. They weren’t wrong. But you never thought your life could compare to the one of your beautifully made best friend.
Her birthday is next month in the early weeks of July. Her mother wants to hold a small party as if she was still there to celebrate. Of course she wants you there, but you don’t know if you’d be able to handle it. A birthday party for a dead girl? What an obvious reminder that she’s not there. It’s going to be the first birthday you spend without her. The tradition of getting smoothie bowls and going to the local zoo and finishing the night off with a bonfire and beer cans you stole out of your parents fridge is completely destroyed. Gone just like she is.
The only person making your miserable life a little more bearable is your wonderful boyfriend, JJ Maybank. Despite only being together for about two months, he became your closest friend. Your best friend would have loved him and would even be impressed that you went for such a bad boy. Your type usually consisted of stuck up boys with egos bigger than their daddy’s bank account. Sometimes you picture a life where your best friend and JJ knew each other. They’d probably be best of friends. Your friend would be weary of him at first, but JJ would work his usual charm and win her over in seconds. It’s what he did with you.
You met him after getting really close with Kiara when her dad hired you as another waitress at the Wreck. You remembered the day he first walked into the restaurant with his friends. You felt his eyes on you the entire time. Feeling bold, you walked over to his table and asked to borrow his phone. You opened his snap chat app and took a selfie with the two of you and said, “Here’s a picture if you want it to last longer.” And that was how the love story of JJ Maybank and Y/N Y/L/N started. JJ still has the picture saved as his Lock Screen. It makes you smile every time you see it.
Your life with JJ was nearly perfect. What started as a flirty banter became something serious. Kie knew JJ was in deep because he never complained about how slow you wanted to take the relationship. Aka sex. Usually JJ is the kind of guy who will go get what he wants. And if that’s a quick lay, that’s what he’ll go searching for. Someone that won’t make him work too hard for it. But with you? It was different. Sure he wanted to explore that part of the relationship with you, but only when you were ready. It was hard for him some days, especially when you wore his hoodies or kissed him so deeply that he swore his skin was on fire.
Although JJ has been nothing but a respectful KING about your decision to wait, you can’t help but feel guilty about keeping him waiting. It’s not that you didn’t want to - because god did you want to. But it was hard for you to give someone all of you like that. Part of you blames that on your own insecurities and the other part knows it’s trauma due to your past relationship. You never told anyone the kind of vile and disgusting things your ex boyfriend would say to your face. Well, you confessed to your best friend on the night he broke up with you. You physically had to hold her back by her hair to keep her from setting his house on fire. She tried to make you see that everything he said about you was wrong. Dumb, fat, whore, useless, poor, ugly. You wanted to believe her, but it was like your ex had physically tattooed the words onto your skin and it was hard to see anything else. When things were getting heated between you and JJ and you felt his hand dip under the thin material of your t shirt, you would pull away, afraid that he would feel the rolls on your stomach. You never let him see you without makeup on. And even wore baggy clothing so you wouldn’t have to worry about showing too much skin. You didn’t want him getting the wrong impression.
JJ tried asking Kie about it. JJ is smarter than people give him credit for. He had a feeling that your choosing to not have sex ran deeper than just not being ready. Which is totally fine but he wanted to be there for you if you needed help. Of course Kie had no idea. But just like JJ, she noticed you pulling away from the group slowly. She thought maybe it was the stress of finals as the end of the school year wrapped up, but then summer came around and the less you did.
“She’s been off, right?” JJ asks Kie. His legs bounces up and down anxiously and he chews on the nub of his thumb nail. “Do you notice it too?”
Kie doesn’t know how to answer. Of course she wants to be honest with her best friend, but she also doesn’t want to hurt him. “I mean, she’s been kind of distant with us. Maybe she’s been busy. I mean she’s gotten a few of her shifts covered in the last two weeks.”
JJ shakes his head. “I don’t know. I can’t shake off this feeling that it’s something more than that. Something I’m missing. I mean...” he sighs and takes his fingers through his hair. “Do you think it’s me? Did I do something? Maybe she feels pressured by this whole sex thing-“
“No. Of course not.” Kie says. She knows JJ would never make you do anything you don’t want to do, and he would never make you feel guilty about it. “You should talk to her about it next time you see her. I mean, I could bring it up too but I think it would be best coming from you.”
JJ nods and accepts this answer from Kie. It doesn’t make him feel any less anxious about the state of your relationship but at least he’s not crazy for thinking you’re pulling away.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
He doesn’t see you for another week. You claimed that you’ve been busy with work and college prep. JJ didn’t buy it but he also didn’t push it. He saw you when you showed up at his window at the Chateau.
You’d come after having one of your episodes - one where you can’t sleep or eat or even focus on one thought. You don’t know why you came to the Chateau. You knew JJ would be here but you didn’t think he’d be able to help you. No one ever can.
“Hey,” JJ flicks on the lamp from the bedside table as he watches your figure squeeze through the window. “What are you doing here?”
You shrug. “I - uh. I don’t know, exactly. Just wanted to see you, I guess.”
JJ tilts his head and narrows his eyes at you. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” You lie.
JJ nods, but he doesn’t believe you. “Then come here.” He opens up his arms for you to fall into. When you do, he pulls you in close with your head laying on his bare chest. You focus on his steady heartbeat and his warm arms around your body. You miss this. Being with JJ whole heartedly - mind and body. Recently it’s only been your body - your mind off somewhere else.
“Did I wake you?” You ask softy.
JJ kisses the top of your head. “No.”
When you close your eyes, you picture your friend again. Her smile and laugh. Things that should have made you happy. But they don’t. Not anymore.
You don’t remember when or how it happened - how you ended up being below a hovering JJ as his lips peppered your skin. You remember starting the heavy make out session, hoping to distract yourself from the depressing thoughts of your dead best friend.
However, the deeper you got into it, the deeper you got in your own thoughts. First about your friend and then about your ex. What he would say if he were the one above you - “I thought you were going to the gym?” “You didn’t shave?” “You could use some sun.” - His voice rang in your head like a screeching record and you couldn’t do it anymore.
“Stop,” you mumble softly enough that JJ doesn’t hear it until you physically push him off of you and say more loudly. “J, stop!”
As his back hits the mattress again, he holds his hands up in surrender. He didn’t realize he was doing anything wrong and his heart races with the thought that maybe he hurt you or had gone too far.
You quickly pick up your tossed shirt and bag while avoiding all kinds of eye contact with him. You felt embarrassed. It’s not his fault that you can physically feel every skin roll on your body or think you can smell every bad odor radiating off your skin. JJ has never been anything but a prince to you since you started dating. You felt bad that you couldn’t give him what he wanted. Sex should be a normal part of your relationship yet you couldn’t seem to give him your all just yet.
“I’m sorry. Did I-“ JJ starts to apologize but you cut him off.
“No. I’m sorry. I should go. I should have never come -“
“Hey,” JJ sits up and tries to reach for you, but you yank your hand closer to your body when his fingers graze your skin. JJ frowns. “You don’t have to go. We can just go to sleep. Or I can sleep on the couch.”
You pause at the bedroom door with your back to him. You squeeze your eyes tight to stop the tears from cascading down your cheeks. You hate this. Feeling like another burden to someone else. Not being able to give the one you love everything they want. It’s not fair. It feels like everyday your days just keeping getting darker and darker as if the sun never rises. And you don’t know how long you’ll be able to take it.
“Y/N...” JJ softly calls out for you. He can see the tension in your shoulders and your knuckles turning white as you clench around the door knob. He knows something isn’t right. That there’s more than meets the eye when it comes to what you’re going through. He’d never force you to tell him anything. But he wants you to feel comfortable enough that you know you have the option to talk if you wanted to.
“I’m sorry, J...” your voice cracks which makes JJ’s heart break a little more. Still with your back to him, you shake your head. “I can’t be what you want me to be.”
“Y/N -“
You finally turn to look at him. “You deserve someone who will give you everything you want. Someone who makes you happy - someone who is happy.” You sniffle back the tears. “I’m sorry. That’s just not me.”
Tears prick at JJ’s eyes. He wishes he can say he is surprised, but he honestly saw this coming. You’ve been distant and hard to read. He thought you were falling out of love with him for weeks. But that doesn’t make this any less hard to hear.
“Don’t do this,” JJ shakes his head. “We can work this out -“
“I can’t do it anymore,” you shake your head as one lone tear falls down your cheek. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
You rip the door open and stumble through John B’s house before JJ could say anything else. You throat feels on fire as you bite back a heart wrenching scream from what you’ve just done. You probably ruined the best thing that’s ever happened to you. No surprise there, you think. Nothing in your life seems to ever go as planned.
You run home until your legs feel like they’re literally on fire. By the time your back hits the mattress of your own bed, your muscles feel like jello, and you wonder if you’ll ever be able to walk again.
You cry into your pillow until the world around you fades to darkness.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Its been about two weeks since you last saw JJ and the Pogues. You didn’t think it was possible, but without them, your life somehow felt even emptier. Days feel like years. Your body feels so heavy, it’s hard to get out of bed most days. You can’t remember the last time you showered. Your skin on your face feels dry from all tears that have been shed. Some days you want to pick up the phone and call JJ or Kie, just to hear their voice. But you don’t. Because you don’t want to feel like a burden to either one of them. You broke up with JJ. You’re not their problem anymore.
With your head tucked deep into your pillow, you feel the corner of your bed dip as if someone had just sat down. You figured it was just your mom checking in on you again for the hundredth time. She doesn’t say anything and you don’t acknowledge her either.
Your phone beeps with another text message from JJ. You peek your eye open at your phone and slowly reach for it. You hesitate opening the message, afraid that whatever he has to say will only break your heart and make you feel like an even worse human being.
“You’re seriously not going to answer that?” The person sitting on your bed says, making you snap around to face the girl who is for sure not your mother, but your best friend. The same best friend who’s buried in a cemetery fifteen minutes away from your house.
She looks exactly how you remember her. Long beautiful hair that frames her perfect jawline. Tan almost glistening skin that radiates off the sunlight that shines through your window. Eyes sparkling with life and mischief.
You look at her with wide eyes and an open mouth. You were truly at a loss for words. Confused was an understatement. It didn’t make sense.
She laughs at your reaction and shakes her head. “Do you need a minute?”
“I don’t - how - am I - am I dreaming?” You stutter.
“No I’m just the prettiest zombie you’ve ever seen,” She says sarcastically and holds her grin. You blink at her. “Yes, you’re dreaming. Well, kinda.” She stands up and faces you. “You’re definitely dreaming but I’m in control of visiting you in your sleep. Kinda cool, right? It’s a ghost trick I recently learned.”
“I’m officially going crazy,” You say.
“You’re right. You are going crazy,” Your friend rounds to the other side of the bed to come face to face with you as you sit up and rub your eyes. “But not because you’re seeing me. Because you’re not seeing JJ.”
You drop your hands at your side and glare at her. “You don’t even know him.”
“I know of him,” She says. “He’s a Pogue. A hot one too. And he’s head over heels in love with you. What else do I need to know?”
You shake your head. “It’s complicated.”
“Why? He loves you and you love him.”
You flip your comforter off you body and walk past the girl who loves sticking her nose in other people’s business. You always told her it would get her in trouble one day. But you secretly loved that she was so nosy. Because she cared and always gave the best advice.
You walk towards your dresser and stare at yourself in the mirror above it. The bags under your eyes are dark and your skin pale. Your hair is greasy from your lack of washing it and you’re starting to realize you’re beginning to smell.
Your friend sighs and sits back on your bed. “He’s in your head,” She says glumly.
You scoff, “I think if anyone’s in my head, it’s you.”
She glares back at you. “You know what I mean. Y/Ex’s/N. He’s still tormenting you after almost a year of not seeing him.”
You shake your head. “No I’m -”
“Come on, Y/N. You can’t lie to me. You’re still hiding your laugh behind your hand because he called it obnoxious. You hide yourself under baggy clothing and you won’t have sex with JJ because Y/Ex’s/N said you were bad at it -”
“Stop.”
“Clearly you weren’t bad at it since he got to come every single time. If anyone was bad at it, it was him.”
“Y/BFF’s/N.”
“What? It’s true,” She shrugs. That’s what you always loved about her. She was unapologetic. She meant what she said every time no matter what. You wished you had her confidence. She sighs and moves over on the bed so she’s closer to you. “Y/N, you deserve to be happy,” she says more softly. “And JJ makes you happy. Why are you pushing him away? Why can’t you let yourself be happy?”
“Because you’re not here!” You finally kick down the wall that’s been building in your head since your friend’s death. You never talked about her with anyone. Not even with her own family. She was your person - the girl who was going to stand by your side at your wedding, be the god mother to your children, your shoulder to cry on, and your therapist when you needed to rant. And now she’s not here and it feels wrong living the life you were supposed to live together. “How can I be happy when you’re not here?”
“Y/N...”
“No,” You cry. “It’s not fair. You’re supposed to be here. I can’t pretend like everything’s normal when it’s not. This was supposed to be the best summer of our lives and then you just left.” You snap your fingers. “Just like that. Out of nowhere. And if that can happen to you then it can happen to -”
You cut yourself off, afraid to say what you really were thinking. You didn’t want to put that kind of energy into the atmosphere because the thought haunted you every night when you were alone with your thoughts. You never thought you could lose someone like you lost your best friend. You didn’t think that would ever happen to you. But it did. And it put life in perspective for you. You don’t think you’d be able to live through another loss like that so falling for JJ was scary to you. Because if something ever happened to him, you wouldn’t know what to do.
“Hey,” She stands up to embrace you in a hug. You sob into her shoulder and squeeze her tightly against you. You don’t want to let her go. She feels so real. You’re actually touching her. “Look at me.” She eventually pulls away to look at you. She offers a sad grin and pushes your hair out of your eyes. “I’m sorry I died. But you get to live! You know how jealous I am that you have the ability to eat smoothie bowls every day and go surfing and date cute boys and go on road trips with your friends and family? You don’t even know how good you have it. And on top of that, you have the hottest guy on the island fawning over you and you’re too sad about me to even realize it. I don’t want you to live this way -” she motions to your messy room. “I want you to take advantage of the life you have. If I can’t live it, then you have to live it for me.”
“I don’t want to do it without you,” You cry.
She shakes her head. “You’ll never be without me, chick. I’m always going to be with you. Besides, I like JJ. You’d be stupid to let him go.”
You bite your bottom lip and feel a rush of heat climb up your neck to your cheeks. “He is really good to me.” You knew your friend was right. She was always right. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too,” She says. You both turn when you hear someone knock on your door. She looks back at you and smirks. “That’s my cue.”
“Wait -”
“Don’t worry, chick. Remember what I said. I’m not far away.”
You gasp awake wrapped in your sheets with dried drool stuck to your chin. You sit up and look around frantically for any sign of your best friend. But she’s gone. So is any sign that she might have been here. You rub the dried saliva off your chin with your fingers and sigh up at the ceiling. It felt so real.
Your mom lets herself into your room and smiles at you. “Oh, good. You’re awake.”
“Yeah...” You say slowly. You think back to everything your best friend said to you in your dream. How lucky you are to live a life that she can’t. For the first time ever, she was jealous of you. For a life you’re taking for granted. Although it was hard to be happy without her by your side, you knew she didn’t want you sulking around for her. Some days are going to be hard. That’s just the inevitable. But you have the ability to make it easier. It all starts with you. “I think I’m going to take a shower.”
“Really?” Your mom says, surprised by the effort you’re making so early in the morning.
“Yeah,” You grin and walk past her to get to your bathroom. Today is going to be a new day, you say to yourself as you let the warm water rain over you.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Two days later was your best friend’s birthday. A day you’ve been dreading for weeks. Your heart felt heavy and your mind clouded as you moved around your room getting ready for the day. As much as you wanted to stay in bed, you knew it wouldn’t be what she wanted. You haven’t spoken to her since that night, but you knew she was quietly watching over you.
You throw on a pair of sports shorts and a long sleeve t shirt. The day is cold and foggy so you knew the cemetery would be cold. Your parents offer you a small smile as you walk out the door with a bouquet of flowers and a blanket.
You slowly come to a stop as you’re walking to your car parked on the street in front of your house when you recognize a familiar truck parked behind it. JJ steps out of the driver’s seat and approaches you with his hands tucked in his short pockets. He smiles sheepishly at you and glances down at the flowers.
“Hey,” He says.
“Hey,” You shuffle awkwardly on your feet. Why did he have to look so good? He’s dressed in a Coors Light tank and cargo shorts. His golden hair is perfectly quaffed and his skin perfectly sun kissed. “How are you?”
“Good, good,” He nods. He hates that your relationship has resulted to this. Awkward small talk. “I’m sorry. Am I catching you at a bad time?” He motions to the flowers.
“Um,” You glance between the flowers and him and shrug. “No. I was actually just going to see a friend. Would you like to come?” You remember all the things your friend had to say about JJ. How he loves you, you love him, and he makes you happy. You messed up by breaking up with him, but maybe you can make it right by explaining everything to him.
“Oh,” JJ looks surprised that you’re offering time to hang out. He was afraid you were going to push him away and shut your front door in his face. He didn’t know what was going to happen. He just wanted to see you. “Yeah. Definitely.”
You smile. “Great. But we have to stop for smoothie bowls on the way.”
JJ laughs. “No problem.”
Surprisingly, it wasn’t awkward being alone with JJ after all this time. The two of you spent the car ride talking about the other Pogues and what they’ve been up to in the past couple of weeks. It was bittersweet talking about them because of how much you missed them, but you hoped that they would accept you back into their friend group after you explained to JJ why you’ve been so distant.
“Uh, Y/N.” JJ says when he parks the car.
“Yeah?”
“This is a cemetery.”
You can’t help but giggle at his apprehension. “I know. Come on.”
JJ carries the flowers and you carry the brown paper bag that holds your three smoothie bowls and a blanket. You lead him through the wet grass, past dozens of tomb stones until you find where your best friend peacefully lays.
JJ stays silent as he looks between you and the tombstone. The years etched onto the tombstone indicate that someone your age is buried here. He quickly puts the puzzle pieces together and tries to read your facial expression. Your sadly grinning at the tomb stone when you feel JJ’s eyes on the side of your face.
You lay the blanket down and offer half of it for him to sit next to you. He does but stays quiet, waiting for you to explain whenever you’re ready.
“This is Y/BFF’s/N,” You introduce her. “She was my best friend.” JJ nods and lets you continue as you stare at the tombstone. “She died a few weeks before we met.” You pull out the smoothie bowls and pass one to JJ and place the other one in front of the flowers placed by the grave. “Today’s her birthday and we had this tradition that we would get smoothie bowls every morning of our birthday.” You pop open the lid of your bowl and push around the berries laying on top with your spoon. “I know I owe you an explanation.”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to...”
“Trust me,” You smile at him, “I do. She would kill me if I didn’t.”
You told JJ about the mental toll her death had on your life. Even with JJ by your side, you felt her missing presence heavily all day every day. It wasn’t that you weren’t happy in your relationship with JJ, it was just that something was missing and it was something you couldn’t bring back to your life. Because of her loss, you fell back into a depression you once experienced towards the end of your last relationship. You told JJ about the mental anguish your ex left you with and why you don’t feel comfortable opening yourself up to him, both physically and mentally. You promised it wasn’t because of JJ but because of your ex and the things he said to you. With your friend’s birthday coming up, everything was weighing you down mentally and you didn’t want to hinder JJ’s life any longer. You told him you thought breaking up with him was best for him so he didn’t have to deal with your problems and he can find a girl that makes him happy. You regret ever walking away from him that night. Your friend was your person, but now so is JJ. You want him to know everything about you. Good and bad. He deserves to know the truth.
“She would’ve liked you,” You brush your fallen tears away with the back of your hand. “You guys are alike in a lot of ways.”
“Yeah?” JJ smiles at you. “How?”
“She made me laugh and always pushed me past my comfort zone. She challenged me to do more with my life. And she never gave up on me,” You grin up at him. “I’m sorry for pushing you away.”
“You don’t have to be,” JJ says. “I get it. No one deserve to lose a friend like this. I don’t know what I would do if this happened to John B or Pope or even Kie.”
“I still love you, J. And I want to give you every part of me. I just...need some help opening up.”
JJ sets down his smoothie bowl and turns to face you. His hand caresses the side of your face and pushes your hair back behind your ear. “Hey....we can take it as slow as you want. I’m not going anywhere.”
You smile at him. “So, you wanna try this again?”
“Abso-fucking-lutely.”
JJ leans in to kiss you on your lips. Butterflies erupt from your stomach and fireworks shoot across every nerve in your body. When you eventually pull away, you’re smiling because even when your best friend isn’t here to physically push you, she has her own way of getting into your head and making sure you don’t take the life you have in front of you for granted. And you couldn’t be more grateful for that.
Unbeknownst to you, your friend watches from a far with her arms crossed and a smirk on her face. Slightly shaking her head, she says to you, “You’re gonna be just fine, chick.”
#jj maybank#jj mayback x reader#jj fic#jj maybank fic#jj x reader#jj maybank imagines#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank one shot#jj maybank imagine#jj#outer banks rewrite#outer banks imagine#outer banks fic#john b routledge#outer banks#obx fic#obx imagine#pope heyward#kie carrera#sarah cameron
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Why'd You Have to Leave? -- Wanda Maximoff x Reader
a/n: You and Wanda have a fight, she leaves, proving to you that everyone leaves eventually.
-- This fic idea was very random & I'm not sure I like the ending but what can ya do 🤷♀️ I hope y'all enjoy it.
Words: 5359
Warnings: Angst! Some swearing & mentions of alcohol, brief mention of a panic attack. NSFW. 18+ Only.
You knew this would happen.
I mean it always does, sometimes sooner than others. But it is inevitable really. In the end, you were always the one to blame, because truthfully it was you who drove people away.
Over and over and over, until they could not take it any longer.
Over and over and over again, you proved to yourself that no one would stay.
So really, you knew this would happen.
It didn’t hurt any less though, watching the person you truly thought would stay, just leave.
She was only supposed to be gone for a month, on a mission that required her to go undercover, no phone calls, no texts, no mail. Nothing. Silence for an entire month, which normally you could have handled but the fight before her departure replayed in your mind, like a broken record.
Except a broken record was once whole, and you’re not sure the relationship you had with Wanda was ever that.
The tears. The shouting. The door slamming. And then silence, complete silence.
And when the day came around for Wanda to come back home, you waited impatiently by the door, ears perking up at every small sound, heart racing when the distant chatter from the team got just a little louder. But then it was almost 10 at night, and worry started to flood your thoughts.
It didn’t last long before a knock came at your door, it was so light you thought you imagined it. Anxiety filling you, you held your breath before replying “Come in”.
You watched slowly as the door creaked open, almost as if the person behind it was hesitant to enter.
It was Natasha, and you felt the dread creep back up your body, reaching your throat, tightening as you held back the tears that threatened to breakthrough.
You didn’t dare speak, for the fear of cracking in front of her. Instead, you let her take the lead, as you chewed insistently on your bottom lip.
“How are you doing?” She whispered, approaching slowly, coming to a stop at the end of your bed.
You nodded, gesturing for her to take a seat. Which she did, and you sat for a moment, almost unsure of how to answer.
Miserable. Scared. Maybe even grieving.
You settled with an “I’m fine”
She disliked your response, her brows furrowed at your words.
“You’ve barely left your room this past month, we’re worried about you”
You scoffed, irritated at the sudden interest in your well-being.
“Why are you here Nat?” You spat.
Your voice breaks, and you’re not even sure if she heard the next words, “Is she coming home?”
The blonde doesn’t even need to reply, her expression failing her instantly, a look of pity directed at your sad state.
“Get out”
Natasha doesn’t bother trying to fight with you, uttering “She’s alive Y/N, I think she just needs time alone”
And with that, she leaves. Her words cut deeper than you thought they would.
She consciously decided to leave you, longer than needed for a stupid mission, not even bothering to tell you herself.
And in some dark twisted way, you thought her death would hurt less.
By the time the next month rolled around, any hope you had left started to die off. Natasha was the only one that heard from Wanda, once a week you would watch Natasha rush off to a secluded area, engaging in a hushed conversation. The calls only lasted a few minutes and although you had started to occupy yourself with other tasks, you couldn’t help but feel the gut-wrenching ache in your stomach when the blonde would look over at you.
A few more weeks passed by and it was an unbearably warm day, which you spent outside suffering through one of Steve’s grueling workouts when you heard the familiar buzz of the Quinjet approaching the compound.
Despite your condition, you noticed Steve’s worried features glance your way before running off to the approaching jet.
There it was. That dread and sadness you worked so hard to push down, came flooding back like a dam bursting.
Even from this far away you knew it was her. Her red hair glistening in the sweltering sun. You watched the rest of the team sweep her into hugs, but your interest in her was interrupted by a taller unfamiliar figure standing behind her.
You could barely make out their appearance, but they were not human. Skin coloured an unnatural red and blue. Almost synthetic-like. Their presence instantly leaving a bad taste in your mouth.
You waited for everyone to head inside before making your way to your room to shower.
You had hoped the cold water would shock the unwelcome feelings from your mind, but time alone only served to create more.
Taking a deep breath, you prepared to enter the living room, where the team was catching up with Wanda and the new guest. You hesitated though, inching closer and closer to the doorway, before changing your mind, turning on your heel back the direction you came.
You had nearly turned around before a quiet voice halted your movements.
You froze just as Wanda’s voice hitched.
“Y/N?” she whispered; goosebumps forming immediately over your skin because it was like hearing her voice for the first time. Was her accent always this prominent?
You could have kept going. You could have ignored her and pretended like you didn’t care. But she was right behind you, and the desire to see her face after all this time overtook you.
You shifted your weight, taking a long deep inhale, bracing yourself. Turning around you averted your eyes, attempting to take her in slowly, hoping to warm up to see her face again after all this time.
So, you did just that and once your eyes arrived at her face, you realized no amount of preparation would have sufficed.
Her eyes seemed lighter like they were no longer burdened by the dullness of the compound and familiarity of her old life. It was as if they belonged to someone else, a person who you struggled to recognize.
Had it been that long? Did she always have that many freckles?
You shook your head, frustrated at the thoughts filling your head, and embarrassment began to creep up realizing you had yet to answer her.
“You’re back” You whispered back; afraid your voice may break if you talked any louder.
She hesitated, paused, observed you like she used to. So, you observed her back. Watched her watch you, a flitter occurring deep in your belly. Subconsciously shifting again on your feet, drawing her out of her stupor, she cleared her throat to answer, “Yeah I thought it was about time”
About time? Almost as if you were just an old friend, and it was time to play catch-up.
A dry laugh fell out of you. “Well, how nice of you to come back.”
A sigh crossed her lips, her eyes flickering down for a moment before returning to your intense gaze. “We should talk.”
“I have nothing to say to you,” you spat back, eyes narrowing. “You said enough when you left without another word, and you said, even more, when you didn’t come back.”
Tears welled in your eyes, memories returning like unwanted guests. That’s when the tears started. That’s when you lost hold of your composure. Because her presence used to be warm. She was back, she came back. Her presence should have relieved you.
But it didn’t. It just hurt, cut open the wound you thought you started to patch back together, but just like that she ripped you open again. And you lost control, again.
You didn’t give her a chance to answer. Because nothing she would say at that moment could fix it. You weren’t sure if anything she would ever say would fix it.
So, you left. You heard her say your name one more time. It was desperate, broken. But you needed space. Tears blurred your vision as your feet carried you to the roof of the compound. You didn’t stay standing for long. The door shut behind you and you crumpled to the ground, sobs wracking your entire body, draining you of any air that was left.
You lied there, hyperventilating, trying desperately to catch your breath. Every fiber of this false control and composure you thought you weaved, just completely unraveled.
You thought you heard someone call your name, but it was so distant and all you could think of, all you felt was the gnawing at your chest.
Hands cupped your wet cheeks, stroking lightly, “Hey hey, Y/N I’m here. Take some deep breaths for me. I’m here”
Your eyes shot open at Wanda’s voice, wanting desperately to rip yourself from her hands. But you didn’t. You didn’t know if it was because you were exhausted or if you wanted to hold onto this feeling for as long as you could. So, you stayed, allowing Wanda to sit behind you, taking the weight of your body against hers.
Her voice wavered, barely holding onto any stability, “That’s it, keep breathing.”
You heard sniffling behind you before her body began to shake. Her tear-stained hand coming into your peripherals for a brief moment.
Your body stiffened at the sight, anger starting to replace any feelings of anguish. You pushed away from her, standing abruptly. You swiveled around to take sight of her. The rims of her eyes were red, tears flowing freely from them.
“What are you doing?” You hissed, ignoring the concern that started to crawl into you.
She wiped another tear.
“I came to see if you were-”
“No. What are you doing back? Why did you come back?”
Anger laced itself in your voice. It took you straight back to that night. It was a stupid fight, both of you too stubborn to admit feelings, too stubborn to stop pushing one another away, too afraid to admit that you were in love. So, you snapped. You pushed to see how much it would take for her to walk away, how much she could handle. To see if she would stay.
It was wrong. It was childish. You knew that. You didn’t blame her; it was your fault after all. You pushed to prove that everyone leaves, and she proved it again.
You could see her reliving that night as well, her eyes staring hard at the ground below her. Her jaw clenched.
"I-I couldn't stand to be away from you any longer. I missed you."
“Stop. Just stop! I don’t want to hear that bullshit.” You yelled.
And you didn’t give her a chance to reply, “All those secret phone calls with Natasha, you couldn’t have just called to tell me yourself? I had to be told by Natasha that you wouldn’t be coming back. That’s all I got. How fucking pathetic. This time don’t follow me.”
The door slammed behind you. You turned the corner at the end of the stairwell and ran right into the stranger you had yet to meet. You glared up at him. His presence fuelled your anger.
“Hello Miss Y/N, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Do you know where Wan-”
“The roof. Now get out of my way.”
He’s pushed to the side, hitting the wall lightly as you brushed past him.
You spent that night in your room, huddled in blankets. Knocks came and went at your door. Each one met with a strangled fuck off, eventually taking the hint you wanted to be left alone.
You spent days in your room, losing track of time. The cycles of day and night coming and going like a blur, like scenes from a movie.
Once in a while, you could register a hushed voice from outside your room. You started to think you were just hallucinating them at times.
Then your solitude was interrupted by a presence entering your room. You didn’t see who it was. You were enveloped by the safety of your blankets, excluding any light that dared to enter your room.
“Y/N? I brought you some food”
It was Peter. You nearly broke at his voice, sadness lacing his words. He was by far your closest friend but being so busy at college you rarely saw him anymore. He knew of the current circumstances, but like most people, you shut him out.
You could only assume Natasha or Steve was responsible for his arrival at the compound. But it was a presence you welcomed. It surprised you. You were so sure that the past days spent alone in your room, you had officially cried out every feeling possible. You felt utterly empty. Endless nothingness.
You peeked out from the safety of your comforter, dry eyes meeting his warm gaze.
“Well, it’s nice to see you. I brought your favourite pizza. Although there is a catch, you do have to share with me,” He smiles, leaning over to grab the food.
“Thank you”
You cringed at the sound of your voice. It was hoarse. It was dry. It was so weak.
The two of you sat in silence for a while. You groaned at the taste of the pizza, finally realizing how malnourished your body was. It wasn’t long before it was gone.
“What time is it?”
“10 am and it’s Sunday”
Sunday. That meant it had been three days since Wanda returned.
“You brought me pizza at 10 am?” You laughed. The sound shocked you at first, you couldn’t remember the last time you laughed. It saddened you.
He smiled at that, “Well, who said you can’t eat pizza at 10 am? Plus, I thought you might need it. I’ve been worried about you. We all have. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner, I tried. I-I didn’t know how bad it had gotten”
You held up your hand, stopping him from continuing.
“Don’t apologize. Please. I didn’t make it easy”
“I want to ask how you are, but I feel like I know the answer”
You averted your eyes, taking a look around your room. Messy was an understatement. You could barely see the floor. You caught your reflection in a nearby mirror. You broke at the sight. How could you let yourself get like this?
“Hey, I’m right here. It’s going to be ok.”
Peter held you for a while, your tears eventually dying out. You pulled away from his tear-soaked shirt. Embarrassed and exhausted, you look at him, “I’m going to shower.”
You weren’t sure how long you spent washing off the dirt that built up over the past few days. You were angry and annoyed. How could you let her do this to you again?
You pushed away from the thought, instead, relishing in the warm water.
When you returned, clean and in new clothes, your room was tidy. Your bed made and the floor clear of riddled clothes and trash. Peter sat on your bed.
“Wow. Thank you for cleaning, you didn’t need to”
“It’s no problem. Really. I’m here for you. Now let’s go enjoy the day”
The team quieted down immediately at your presence, staring widely at the two of you. You hated the attention. You hated how you searched for Wanda amongst the group. You hated how disappointed you were when you noticed she wasn’t there.
Peter noticed your wandering gaze and grabbed your arm to drag you along.
The sun was blinding. Taking you longer than normal to adjust. But once you did, you stood there letting the warmth encase your entire body. You glanced over at Peter.
“She’s here still. She hasn’t left her room.”
You just stare at him.
“Sorry, is that what you wanted to know?”
You nod, “Has anyone talked to her?”
“Vision did. I don’t think it went too well though. He was thrown out of the room almost immediately. Thankfully he can phase through walls, so she didn’t do much damage.”
You breathe out, “Sounds like her”
Peter clears his throat. “Do you think you’re going to speak to her?”
“I’m not sure if I have anything to say”
You started to walk, and Peter followed. The past days spent in your room allowed you to reflect heavily on the situation. Whether you wanted to accept it or not, you loved Wanda. You’d fell for her the day you met her, nearly 3 years ago. Her presence frustrated you, made you experience things you came to believe you would never understand. She scared you, wholeheartedly.
Her presence also grounded you. Missions spent together allowed the two of you to grow closer, sharing hushed conversations about her life in Sokovia, your life growing up. Sharing painful memories but also the minor details about one another. By now, you could read each other without a second thought.
You didn’t realize the effect she had on you until she left. No one else on the team calmed you like she did. No one else could ever come close to her.
Peter cut in, disrupting your thoughts, “I think you do. I know it’s not my place, but I can see how much you two care about each other. I also know that neither of you have had it easy. But don’t you think you deserve something good? Whatever you two have is special, complicated even, but worth fighting for,”
“Maybe it’s about time you let yourself open up, let yourself have this. If it goes wrong, then at least you tried” He watched you hesitantly, knowing there was a possibility of him receiving a fist to the face.
Instead, you sat with it. Maybe he was right. “I’m scared,” you admitted, taking a deep breath at your vulnerability.
“That means you care, somewhere in that cold heart of yours.”
You shot him a glare, quickly replacing it with a smile. “Yeah, yeah.”
He was right. Not that you would admit that to him, ever. But you did care. You cared a lot. So, you stared at Peter for a moment before heading back inside. You walked right past the rest of the group for the second time, they watched you with curiosity as you headed down the opposing corridor, opposite your room. To Wanda’s.
You didn’t know how long you stood there for. You must have reached up to knock nearly ten times, and just when your fist was about to touch the wood, you froze. If you went in there you had to be vulnerable. You had to admit everything you didn’t want to. Everything you tried so fucking hard to run away from. You would have to do that for this person, and hope, just hope that they would accept all of you.
Wanda decided to be the push you needed. She had heard your battling thoughts from her chair in the corner. Where she had sat for the past days, thinking. She had wondered if you’d ever come. She had battled with just barging into your room and confessing everything. She attempted several times, sneaking out late at night. Nights spent hovered outside your door.
So, when she heard you outside her door, the tightness in her chest started to soften.
Red mist encased the door handle, and you watched as the door creaked open, it startled you at first before you comprehended what was happening. You stepped through the doorway and scanned for Wanda. And you found her, she sat in a chair across from you, she stared intently at you before her features softened, almost as if she still wasn’t sure, it’d be you walking through the door.
You cleared your throat, nervous under her gaze, “Hi”
“Hey, how are you?”
It was awkward.
"I'm go-", you stopped yourself, "I don't know. I have no idea"
She nodded. More silence.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you the other day. It wasn’t very mature of me”
Wanda shifted in her seat, “Don’t apologize. You had-have every right to be angry with me. I’m so sorry Y/N. I really fucked up”, tears ran down her face, which she swiped away almost as fast as they came.
You remained rooted in your spot. Stuck between wanting to comfort her and keeping your distance. You stayed.
“Wanda, I want to be completely open with you. I know I don’t have the greatest track record for being the most vulnerable, but I’ve realized that whatever the outcome is, I need to be honest with you”
You moved to the edge of her bed and took a few minutes to gather your thoughts before continuing, "You are the most important person in my life. I haven't made it easy for you and I didn't make it easy on us. For that, I'm sorry. I hated letting people in, frankly, I didn't let anyone in until I met you. When we met, it was like I could breathe for the first time, which now that I'm saying that it sounds so cliche,"
“I wanted to push you away and prove to myself that everyone just leaves me. I’ll admit, it’s childish and unhealthy but I can’t change what I did. But when you left, it broke me. For a moment I thought you’d be the one to stay. And as much as I hate you for it, I can’t blame you.”
You looked up at Wanda. Taking a moment to catch your breath as the familiar tightness returned.
“I shouldn’t have left. Regardless of how hard it was. I don’t have an excuse for what I did, and I don’t have an excuse for how I handled things. It was immature and I am mad at myself for it. I never wanted to hurt you, I felt that me being there was just adding to the hurt.”
It was your turn for the tears to fall. You wished yours were more controlled, but you couldn’t help the way your body fell victim to everything you had tried to hold in.
Wanda stood immediately, closing the distance before stopping abruptly in front of your legs. You looked up at her through blurry eyes, your hands reached out before you knew what you were doing. Coming into contact with her sweater, you cried harder at the warmth radiating from her body. She stepped in and grasped your hands, placing them on her waist.
Her hands cupped your cheeks, thumbs wiping away the tears. Your knuckles nearly turned white, grasping onto her like she was your lifeline.
“It hurts me when you cry. Yet, I’m the reason for it”
Her hands made their way to yours, reaching back to release them gently from her shirt. Her thumbs continued their movements on the back of your hands. You both stayed there for some time, your tears becoming less frequent and your breath becoming deeper.
“Talk to me please”
Your eyes were closed but you felt her bend down, kneeling in front of you. Your eyes opened and her breath hitched, eyes red and puffy, but remained that bright green.
“Who is he?”
Her brows furrowed for a moment before realizing who it was you were asking about, “Vision?”
“Sure, the red dude”
She smiled briefly, “I met him on the mission, he was one of Stark’s AI’s, I guess he went off on his own for a while before making contact again”, “Why?”
“I think he likes you”
“He had to hear a lot about me while we were together. He knows my heart lies with you,”
“I wanted to wait but I realized waiting is stupid and if I don’t say it now I don’t-”
“I love you. I’m pretty sure I’ve loved you since we first met. I’m sorry it took me so long to say it”
You didn’t know if you’d ever seen Wanda smile so big, the sadness lifting slowly from her eyes, that lightness you saw a few days before returning. The lightness caused by you.
“I love you too. I love you so much. I’m sorry I left, you mean everything to me, I never want you to feel less than that”
You glanced down at Wanda’s lips instinctively, she mirrored your movements before she leaned in slowly to close the distance. Just before your lips touched, you pulled back, ever so slightly, she halted immediately glancing back up at you,
“I don’t think that’s a good idea right now Wan, I still need some time” You replied, hand placed on her chest.
She nodded and went back to her standing position. You cleared your throat before you stood as well, making your way to her door.
“I’ll see you around”
The next few days passed quite quickly, Wanda and you exchanged glances here and there, some turning into lingering moments, it was always you that had to break the contact.
A week later, at The Avengers Annual Charity Gala, you had a little too much to drink. You stood at the bar, gladly accepting the rounds of free drinks being supplied to you by random charity goers, each time thanking you for what you do. Each new person began to weave into one as your vision blurred, the bar counter became the only thing that stood between you and the floor.
You admit, it was irresponsible but that was quickly excused by the rough past few months you had just endured. So, you continued and tried to ignore the redhead and her companion in the corner of the room. Peter approached the bar and ended your fun once you stumbled and knocked over the barstool, apologizing after doing so, “I think that’s enough for her Natasha''
“Peter! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” You exclaimed, throwing your arms around him.
“You can barely stand, come on let’s sit down”
Peter led you over the couches, and you plopped down with a sigh and slumped over almost immediately.
“Oh my god, Peter, have you lied down on these couches before? This is wonderful”
“Drink some water please, Tony will lose it if you puke on these”
He shoved water your way, clearly annoyed at your antics. You sent him a glare before accepting the drink, “Let me have some fun, you know I can’t stay drunk that long anyways”
“Yeah, but you are a reckless one, and this gala is an important one,” He said, taking a seat beside you, as he placed his hand on your lap.
He noticed your eyes watching Wanda and Vision, her head thrown back at something he whispered to her.
“You’re insufferable, why don’t you two just get back together?”
“I need time. I love her but what if we just aren’t meant to be?”
“That’s ridiculous. She loves you. She’s been watching over you the whole night,” Peter admits, rolling his eyes at you.
“Take this as a second chance, God knows what tomorrow will bring, in this line of work you need to count your blessings and live while you can. You love her”
You nod and take another swig of the water. Wanda felt your eyes and twisted her head to meet your gaze.
“Hold this” You shoved the water at Peter before standing up.
You took a deep breath, hesitated for a moment before you pushed through the crowd that stood between you and Wanda. Vision stood there, entranced by Wanda as she spoke, but she wasn’t focused on him nor the conversation, as she watched curiously as you stumbled your way through the partygoers.
“Wanda. Vision” You said as you tried to center yourself after the abrupt movements.
Vision noticed your state, “Are you okay Miss Y/N?”, you stared at him doing your best to be intimidating.
“I need to speak to Wanda. Alone.”
He nodded and excused himself. You took Wanda’s hand in your own and led her behind you to the balcony.
“What’s going on with you?” Wanda spoke, once the two of you were out of earshot from the party.
“I’m being an idiot. I did it again, I pushed you away when I just talked to you about how I didn’t want to do that again. Then seeing you with-” You were cut off as Wanda surged forward, capturing your lips, your words dying in your throat.
You hummed into the kiss as Wanda pushed your body up against the wall, a gasp left you, allowing Wanda’s tongue to slip into your mouth.
You had forgotten how soft her lips were against yours. Her intoxicating smell filled your senses. The sounds of the party began to drown out as your hands gripped her waist, pulling her body flush against yours. One of her hands cupped your cheek, the other reached behind and pulled at the hair resting at the nape of your neck. You groaned loudly as she pulled your head back, exposing your neck to her.
She looked at you for a moment, her irises flashing red before she leaned back down, her teeth sinking into you.
“Fuck, Wanda”
Every worry, every ounce of hesitation, flew right out the window, the familiar feeling of Wanda replacing it all. You were home. She was home. And you were tired of ignoring that.
Wanda was relentless as she moved her way down your body. You clung onto her, worried that without her pinning you against the wall you would surely fall, your knees weak from the attention.
Her hand stopped at the button of your pants, fiddling for a brief moment as her eyes returned to yours. Eyes dark and a smile written across her face,
“What are you smiling at?” You whisper, half-lidded eyes watching her.
“I missed seeing you like this. So desperate for me”
Her accent was thick, lust laced her words. You inhaled sharply, chest heaving, “God-Please fuck me”
The words had barely left your mouth, before she delved back in, taking your mouth into hers while her hands worked your buttons.
One hand around your throat squeezing slightly, the other slipped into your pants, grazing over your soaked underwear.
She let out a moan, muffled by your lips, the vibration shooting right down to your core.
Her fingers ran over your underwear, before they swiftly shoved it out of the way, two fingers sinking deep into you. It was your turn to moan now, violently ripping your mouth from hers as your head slammed back against the wall.
Another moan as the fingers exited fully before they slammed back into you, she continued the movements and curled her fingers before every exit. Just when you thought you couldn’t take anymore, Wanda entered you with three fingers, as her thumb came into contact with your clit, circling it slowly as she slowed her movements for a moment, allowing you to get used to the extra digit.
“I’m so close Wan”
“I know detka, you’re doing so well”
Your stomach tightened as she lifted your right leg around her hip, her fingers diving deeper into you, bottoming out.
“Come for me” Wanda whispered against your skin.
You let go. A wave of pleasure flowed through you as you yelled her name into the night. Your body collapsed against the wall, Wanda being the only thing keeping you standing upright.
Her movements slowed down, as she helped you ride your release. Once your breathing slowed, your eyes peeled open at her just as her fingers entered her mouth, moaning loudly as she sucked off your juices. Releasing them with a pop.
You pulled her in for a kiss, tasting yourself on her lips.
The two of you pulled away, “Sorry, you were saying before?”
You let out a laugh, “I don’t remember anymore”
Wanda reached down, buttoning your pants back up, "I want to try again if that's something you'd want as well?"
“I’d like that”
“Good,” she smiled, “Let’s get back to the party”
After that, there was no more shouting. No more tears. No more doubt. A year passed and the two of you moved into your own home, it wasn’t far from the compound, but it was yours.
You were happy. Wanda left but always came back, returning to your side.
You were home.
--
#wanda x reader#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff x female reader#elizabeth olsen#angst#marvel#wanda marvel#wanda maximov
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a/n: A couple of weeks ago I saw a post about ex’s to lovers, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. So basically it’s a story about two people who ended things on a semi-good note, like nothing inherently bad happened between them, but they decided to break up. Sometimes people find their way back to each other, though. That’s what we have here. Harry is a tax attorney, a few years older than our MC, Blair Smith, who teaches jazzercise. (not proofread) PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU READ THIS AND LIKE IT, YALL WANTED ME TO KEEP POSTING FICS ON HERE, SO HERE YOU GO! PLEASE, IT TAKES TWO SECONDS! Check out my patreon for other excursive content.
Warnings: angst, fluff, smut (sub!Harry????), mentions of death, a funeral
Words: 17.8K
Pairing: Harry x OC (Blair Smith)
When Blair Smith became a Physical Education major in college, she never thought that would lead her to leasing a dance studio, and teaching jazzercise. It took her until she was twenty-five to really get it all together. She wasn’t mad about it, she actually enjoyed it more than she thought. She double minored in Dance and in Business Administration, she had never been so thankful to have overloaded herself in her life. She thought she would be teaching gym at the high school level, along with some health and nutrition classes, but when she did her practicum semester at a local high school near her college, she realized that working with younger students was not for her. None of them listened, none of them really wanted to be there, aside from the gym-class-heroes, and she couldn’t stand that the majority wouldn’t even change their clothes for class.
Blair wanted to make her own rules. Luckily, after presenting a well-thought-out business plan to her parents, she was able to get them to co-sign for a loan from the bank to lease a dance studio. She named her studio Just Dance because she offered different types and levels of jazzercise. Some involved use of weights, some involved a little more high intensity, and some involved a little yoga. She was grateful for the couple of marketing classes she took because she was able to really build her brand. She had an Instagram, Facebook Page, and a website. She had an online way to sign up for memberships, and she had daily drop-in prices.
It was easier than she thought to build her clientele. She had a great spot in the city, and there was a small parking lot out back behind the building. Most of her friends from school signed up, and helped her advertise. It was open to men and women, as opposed to a lot of jazzercise places that only offered classes to women. Even though Blair couldn’t afford to hire a second instructor, she was managing things just fine. She offered two early morning sessions, one lunch hour session, and three evening sessions. So, she had plenty of time to relax, stretch, and not over work her muscles. She was strategic about class offerings as well. She gave herself Sundays and Fridays off, since those seemed to be the days with the least amount of people signed up. Monday through Thursday, and Saturday, she made sure to stagger her lessons. For example, Mondays and Wednesdays were weights and yoga infused classes, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays were the high intensity days. Going into her fourth year doing this, she had it down to a science to say the least.
Business was always really good in January and February, when people were making their New Year’s resolutions, and during the summer months when people were trying to feel better about being in their bathing suits. Blair always preached positivity and inner health as the most important things. It was an inclusive space, which is exactly what she wanted it to be.
She liked working for herself. If she needed to run errands between classes, she could. If she wanted to take a nap in the middle of the day, she could. She didn’t have to answer to a single person. Her parents would sometimes ask questions, but mostly just to make sure Blair was making her loan payments on time. She had automatic withdrawals set up with the bank, so she didn’t even need to think about it. Yup, Blair had just about everything figured out, and she knew she was very lucky for that.
//
“Don’t worry, Mrs. Sullivan, we’ll get everything figured out for your son. Yes, he’s in very good hands with me. Alright, have a nice evening.” Harry hangs up his phone and sighs, rubbing at his temples to soothe the oncoming headache he could feel. It was another complicated trust fund case, but that was the job.
The Law Office of Styles and Associates was a tax attorney office. Harry specialized in cases that dealt with trusts, gifts, and various tax planning structures to reduce the burdens of income taxes and estate taxes, and he assisted in devising investment strategies. His undergraduate degree was in accounting, and he minored in pre-law. After that, he went to law school for three years and passed the bar. His father had been a tax attorney as well. Harry liked living the comfortable life he was able to live growing up thanks to his father, and he wanted the same for himself. Plus, he just enjoyed crunching numbers for people, so it was a win-win. Making nearly $150K a year wasn’t too shabby either.
“Hey, H, you ready to go?” John comes into Harry’s office.
“Yeah, just finished up for the day.” Harry stands up, puts his suit jacket back on, grabs his brief case, and heads out. “Kate, feel free to head home, I’m done for the day.” He tells his secretary on his way out.
“Thank you, Mr. Styles, have a nice weekend.” She smiles at him.
“Same to you.” He nods and keeps walking with John. “I feel terrible, she’s pregnant, you know? Her feet are the size of melons by the end of the day.”
“When’s her maternity leave start?” John asks as they enter the elevator.
“Not for a while, she’s only seven months along. She’s been trying to train some college intern to take her place while she’s gone, but no one’s as good as Kate.” Harry rolls her eyes. “Oh well, I’m happy for her. Her and husband have been trying to get pregnant for a while.”
Harry and John make their way to a bar downtown, one of their usual Friday evening spots. They usually met up with some of their other law-school buddies. It was also a great way to blow off steam from the week. Sometimes Harry would end up pulling a 60-hour week, so he thought he deserved to cut loose, and have a little fun with his friends. Maybe meet a pretty girl he could take back to her place and have a whole different kind of fun with her. Harry was a phenomenal attorney, but when it came to his personal life, well, if you looked up the definition of a playboy, his picture would be there. He fucked around, a lot, without a second thought. Actually, his only thought was to make sure he always had a condom. Harry never went bare back. The last thing he needed was someone claiming he was the father of their child, and suing him for child support. The only time he didn’t use a condom was when he was in a legitimate relationship a couple of years back.
He thought about her from time to time. He never met another girl like her, and there were times he really did miss her. The breakup wasn’t anything dramatic, the pair had just grown apart. Harry was in the process of taking over the practice for his father, and she…wasn’t quite ready to settle down. She wanted to work on her own career and make a name for herself. It hurt that she didn’t see him in her vision for the future, but he understood where she was coming from. She was a few years younger than him, and he didn’t want her to resent him for taking away her time to be young and have fun. So they ended it. Since her, he decided to have some fun himself with his friends.
//
Blair got the call right before her second morning class on Wednesday morning. She nearly collapsed on the floor in tears. Everyone rushed over to her. She had to cancel everything for the rest of the week, and her clients were more than understanding.
“How did it happen?” She asks her mother, Pam.
“He had a stroke, and…god, he just didn’t bounce back.” Pam uses a hankie to wipe her tears. “Most of everything should be all set, he was very specific, but…we’re going to need an attorney. Your father’s biggest fear is that his first wife would claim that she has a right to his pension, that she was promised money or something.”
“God, I hate her.” Blair grimaces. “All she’s ever cared about is making him miserable. She just wants money for her son. He’s not even Dad’s!”
“That’s why they got divorced! She cheated on him with his best friend and got knocked up. You can see how sticky this is going to get. I hate to ask, but…”
“I’ll go see him.” Blair sighs.
“I just think he might sympathize, maybe work the case pro bono. I’m not sure we could afford him otherwise.”
“Don’t worry about it, Mum, I’ll talk to him and figure it out. I’m not going to let Lora fuck everything up for you.”
//
Kate nearly choked on her water when she saw Blair walking towards her. She knew Harry had a meeting with a B. Smith. She should have known better.
“B-Blair, hi.” Kate says.
“Kate! Oh my goodness, you look incredible! You and Roger finally-“
“Yeah! I’m due in a couple more months.”
“That’s amazing, I’m so happy for you.” Blair smiles. “Um, I think I set up a meeting through an intern?”
“Yes.” Kate sighs. “I’m training her for when I go on maternity leave. Um, may I ask why you’re here to see Harry?”
“It’s strictly business. My…my father recently passed, and-“
“I’m so sorry.” Kate frowns. “He was always so nice.”
“Yeah, he was a good guy. Anyways, there’s a lot going on with his will and a trust he set up for my mom. Harry’s the only person I could think of when my mom said we’d need an attorney.”
“Of course.” Kate nods. “I’ll let him know you’re here.” Kate knocks on Harry’s door and opens it. “Mr. Styles?”
“Yes?”
“Your 2PM is here.”
“Ah, great.” Harry squints at his screen to check his calendar. “B. Smith? Why does that sound familiar?” He puckers his lips in thought.
“Um…it’s Blair.”
“Blair!” Harry stands up and bangs his knee in the process. “Why didn’t you tell me she was coming?!”
“I didn’t know! Maura answered when she called to set up the appointment.”
“Fuck.” Harry runs a hand through his hair. “How do I look? Is there anything in my teeth?”
“No, you’re fine. Just relax, I’m going to send her in.” Kate leaves his office and smiles at Blair. “He’s ready for you.”
“Thank you, Kate. We should catch up before the baby comes.”
“I’d like that. I miss going to your classes.”
Blair nods and goes into Harry’s office, closing the door behind her.
“Hi, Harry.”
“Hi.” He walks over to her, leaving about a foot of space between them. “To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you?” Her bottom lip trembles, and his smile fades. “What’s wrong?” He asks softly.
“M…my Dad died.” She says, tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Oh, sweetheart.” He pulls her in for a hug so he can comfort her. “When’s the funeral? You know you could have just called me, you didn’t have to be so formal.”
“Actually, I did.” She sniffles and steps back from him. “I need an attorney, my mom and I do…only…we can’t really afford a good one.”
“Oh.” Harry nods. “Have a seat.” He gestures, and rounds his desk to sit back down in his own seat. “Is this about his ex-wife?”
“Unfortunately.” Blair rolls her eyes, and grabs a tissue off his desk. “My mom is scared she’s going to pull some fake paternity crap with her son, even though everyone knows he’s not my Dad’s. I think my mom just wants to be prepared for the inevitable shit storm Lora’s going to bring.”
“I don’t blame her.” Harry sighs and leans back in his chair. “I…haven’t taken a pro bono case yet this year. I could help that way.”
“Only if you really want to. I’m not asking for a handout, but I don’t trust anyone else to take care of me.” Blair blinks when she realizes what she’s said. “Us, I don’t trust anyone else to take care of us.”
“Right.” He leans forward. “I’d be happy to do it. Um, does your mom want to meet with me, or-“
“I think she’s sort of hoping I’ll take care of all the legal stuff. She’s grieving, you know?”
“So are you.” He frowns.
“You know me, I like to keep busy during these sorts of things. I can get a copy of the will, and the trust information over to you via email if that works, and then we can go from there?”
“Sure, yeah. My email’s still the same, um, and so is my phone number…”
“I still have your phone number.” She rolls her eyes.
“Then why didn’t you call me about this first? Why call and make an appointment?”
“I…I thought if I called…you’d think I was calling for something else.” She blushes. “I wanted you to know it was strictly business.”
“Blair, all you had to say was that your dad died. I could have been there for you. You live alone, all you do is work…your best friend is my cousin…do you and Riley even still talk?”
“Of course we do! Just because we broke up doesn’t mean that she and I did. I met you because of her, I was her friend first. It would be really shitty to stop talking to her because it didn’t work out with you.”
“Okay, Christ, calm down.” He shakes his head. “You’re as hot headed as ever, you know that?”
“I’m sorry, my father just died and I’m trying to keep it together!” Her eyes rim with tears again. “He’s never going to be able to walk down the aisle when I get married, he’s never going to meet his grandchildren, there are so many things…he was too young.” She sniffles.
“How did it happen?”
“He had a stroke, and didn’t recover.” She looks away.
“I’m so sorry.”
“I appreciate that, but that’s not going to being him back, so don’t be sorry. Just…help me with this.”
“I will, there’s no question about it.”
“Thank you, Harry.” She stands up. “I’ll email you.”
“Blair.” Harry stands up. “Look, if you need anything else, don’t be afraid to ask. If you need a friend…I’m here for you.”
“I have plenty of friends.” She sighs. “And no offense, but my friends don’t fuck a ton of women weekend after weekend and treat them like shit.” She smirks.
“I don’t do that.” His face flushes. “I just haven’t met someone I’ve really wanted to continue seeing, that’s all.”
“Harry.” Blair shakes her head as she chuckles. “Not that I ask, but Riley’s told me a few things. You two are close, and when she gets drunk she loves regaling me of your many escapades.”
“I’ll have to send her a very strongly worded text after you leave.” He rolls his eyes.
“Don’t get mad at her, it’s fine. I don’t really care.”
“You don’t?”
“No, why would I? It’s not me you’re fucking, so it doesn’t concern me.” She shrugs. “That’s the beauty of breaking up, Har, I don’t give a shit where you stick your dick at night.”
“Well, obviously you do if you won’t even let me be a friend to you, Blair.”
“I just…I don’t want us getting close again, alright? It’ll hurt when we end up parting way, and I don’t wanna go through that while also grieving my Dad. Can you understand that?”
“Yeah.” He nods. “Don’t worry, we’ll get this all sorted out.” He smiles at her.
“Thank you. I need to go. I told my mom I’d be over to help her pack some things up. She sort of just wants to rip the band aid and put his clothes away.”
“If you need any help at all with any heavy lifting, call me.”
“Harry.” Blair sighs.
“I’ve got that nice SUV, I can help move stuff, that’s all I’m saying.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. I’ll talk to you soon.” She says, and out the door she goes. Kate waits a moment before coming into Harry’s office.
“Scotch?” Kate asks.
“Scotch.” Harry nods, and Kate goes over to his credenza to take out his good crystal and liquor to pour him a small glass.
“You’ll get through this.” She lifts her water bottle to cheers with him, and he downs the brown liquid.
//
Blair was back at work the following week. She needed the distraction. Lora had been eerily quiet. Maybe she didn’t know that Blair’s father passed, but as soon as the obituary hit the papers, she was sure that witch would be out and about to cause some trouble. At the end of Blair’s last Thursday class, she heard the sound of dress shoes on the hard wood. She turns to see Harry.
“You know there’s not supposed to be outside shoes in here. I just mopped.” She puts her hands on her hips and huffs at him.
“Yeah, I’m well aware of the rules. I used to be your best customer, remember?” He smirks. “Anyways, I looked over all the documents, I thought you might like to go over everything with me before the funeral, in case she shows up to cause trouble, you’ll have all the facts.”
“I need to, like, go home and shower…today was an intensive day, I’m soaked.”
“Perfect, I’ve got dinner in the car. We can go there, eat, and go over the documents.” He smiles.
“You’re such a weasel.” She chuckles. “But I’m too tired to argue with you. What did you pick up to eat?” She raises an eyebrow at him.
“Nothing special.” He shrugs. “Just some dumpling curry from that Thai place we both like.”
“I take it back you’re not a weasel, you’re the devil.”
Harry drives over to Blair’s apartment. He didn’t have a key anymore so he had to wait for her. He follows her up to her apartment, and makes himself at home while she goes to take a shower. She hadn’t changed much, but he definitely noticed some different pictures on her bookshelves. They used to be littered with framed photos of them, and she had a ton of scrapbooks for the two of them, but those seemed to be missing now as well. He sighs while he plates up the food for the both of them, and opens up a bottle of wine while he waits. Blair comes out about ten minutes later with her hair wrapped up in a towel, and her long, plush, pink robe around her body. She sits down next to him at the island.
“Wine?” She questions, but picks up the glass to take a sip.
“It’s been a long day, to be honest with you. I’m gonna work from home to catch up on some sleep tomorrow since I don’t have any meetings.”
“You know I have Fridays off, we could have done this tomorrow.” She frowns.
“It’s okay, I figured you’d want everything now. The funeral’s Saturday, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it is.”
“Eat up, and then we can look at everything.”
“We can do both at the same time.”
“Does your nose still run like a leaky faucet when you eat spicy food?” He smirks, and she rolls her eyes. “That’s what I thought.”
“Thank you for picking this up.” She says as she takes a bite. “I haven’t had this in forever.”
“Me neither…I stopped going because I didn’t want to run into you there.”
“That’s why I stopped going. We should have divided up restaurants when we broke up.” She laughs, and takes another sip of wine. “Do you mind if I dry my hair when we’re done eating? I’ll get a-“
“You’ll get a headache if you don’t, I know the drill.” He takes a sip of his own wine, and eats a spoonful of rice.
“Stop remembering things about me.” She swats a hand at him.
“We were together for long enough, Blair, I can’t help it.”
“Yeah, well, quit throwing it in my face, okay? We’re not doing this to go for a stroll down memory lane.”
Harry knew he’d be waiting at least twenty minutes while Blair dried her hair. He walks around her living room, stretching his legs a bit. He was curious to see what she had filled her bookshelves with. There was a picture of her and Riley from their freshman year of college. Harry picks it up and smiles. Harry was in his first year of law-school when Riley and Blair were college freshmen. He didn’t meet Blair formally until their senior year, and he was in his first year working at his father’s firm. He was helping Riley move in after winter break, and Blair had already been there.
“Blair!” Riley exclaimed. “I missed you so much.” She threw her arms around her.
“I missed you too! I’m glad we both agreed to come back a week early.”
“Same here. This is my cousin, Harry. Harry, this is Blair.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” Harry shook Blair’s hand.
“It’s nice to meet you too.” Her mouth had run dry. They held eye contact for a beat too long. “You’re in law school, right?”
“I finished last year, I’m actually working now. I’m a tax attorney.” He explains. “It’s my dad’s business.”
“And it’s super boring.” Riley rolled her eyes. “Har, could you bring everything in for me? I have a meeting with my advisor that I need to get to. We’re going over my practicum stuff.”
“Sure thing. We’re still getting dinner later, right?”
“Mhm, I shouldn’t be too long. Blair, you don’t mind if Harry hangs here for a bit, do you? You’re also welcome to come to dinner with us.”
“Sure, I don’t have a problem with it.” She shrugged.
“You’re the best. See you in a little while!”
“Is there a lot of stuff? I can help.” Blair said to Harry.
“Not a lot, no. But…I’ve never been here before, so if you could just show me upstairs, that would be great.”
“Yeah.” She nodded.
Harry brought Riley’s suitcase in, and Blair led him upstairs. She showed him Riley’s room.
“Is yours similar?” He asked.
“My room? Um, no…it’s a little different.” She swallowed. “Do you wanna see?”
“I’d love to.” He grinned, and followed her down the hall to her room. “Riley’s told me a lot about you over the years, but she failed to mention how insanely gorgeous you are.” He leaned against her wall after she closed her door.
“Well, she failed to mention how hot her cousin is, but I suppose that would be a weird thing to say about a family member.” She smirked. “How old are you, exactly?’
“I’m about to turn twenty-six, what about you?”
“I’m almost twenty-two…in May.”
“Not a huge age difference.” He walked towards her.
“Not at all.” She looked up at him with big eyes.
“Want me to kiss you?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, all done.” Blair says, coming out with her all dry and pretty. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing, just saw this old picture of you and Riley.”
“God, we were babies then.” Blair smiles at the photo. “We took that on the day we met at orientation.” She looks at him. “Wanna sit on the couch?”
“Sure.” Harry grabs his briefcase and takes out all of the documents he needed to go over with Blair. “So, as you can see, your father set up a trust for you that you’ll get access to a year after his passing. That’s pretty standard. Your mother has a different sum of money that she’ll be able to access much sooner. There’s absolutely nothing in his will about Lora or her son. Even if she tries to contest it, there’s nothing in here that would indicate he was hiding anything. I looked over their divorce settlement as well, she stopped getting alimony when she remarried. She literally has no case. You and your mum can take a breather.”
“Oh, what a relief! Thank you, Harry. She’ll be able to let herself relax for the first time in a while.”
“Are you going to take any more time off from work?”
“Well, I’m closed Saturday, and I’m off Sunday, and I’m closed Monday as well. Then I’ll be back to it Tuesday.”
“You’re only giving yourself a long weekend?” He frowns.
“Harry, I can’t afford to keep closing. I make enough with the memberships, but I won’t be making the extra I do from the walk-ins.”
“Look, if you need some money-“
“Don’t you dare.” She stands up. “I don’t want your money, Harry, I never have, and I never will. I’m not your goddamn sugar baby!”
“I never said you were!” He says, standing up.
“But you used to make me feel like that all the time! You were always paying for every little thing. You never let me pay for a single thing. It was like you had zero confidence in me, even though I was running a successful business!”
“You were just starting out! All I wanted to do was help you, make it a little easier for you. You’re the one that went to their parents for loan help when I would have done it in a heartbeat! You crushed me.”
“We weren’t even living together, and you were ready to drop that amount of money on me?! That would have been so weird!”
“We were both working odd hours, and we had only been together a few months at that point, moving in would have been weird! A loan is totally different, I would have been investing in something great.”
“Well, I didn’t need your investment! We were together for nearly three years, Harry, what’s your excuse for not living together after all that time, hm?”
“I would have felt guilty. I was never home, I didn’t want you waiting up for me. It was easier when I could just come here and crawl into bed with you after a long day. And you always had to get up so much earlier than me. I thought…I thought it was better that we weren’t living together. You had never lived alone before, I wanted you to enjoy the freedom.”
“Was that it, or did you just want to keep your own?” She huffs, crossing her arms. “You know what, this fight is useless, it doesn’t matter because it’s not going to solve a single fucking thing. Thank you for your help, I really do appreciate it, but now that I know everything’s fine, you can go. If I need anything else from you down the line, I’ll reach out. I’m sure Lora will make a stink, and therefore I’ll need an attorney. But it’s all professional, Harry.”
“You’ve made that plenty clear already, thanks.” Harry packs up his things, and Blair walks him to the door. They look at each other. He just sighs and heads out the door.
Blair would be lying if she said that she didn’t miss Harry. They had a really special bond that was hard to find with just any one. All they did that first day they met was kiss, have a passionate make out, but that was it. Blair didn’t want to go too far with him in case Riley wasn’t comfortable with it. But Riley was overjoyed when Harry asked if she would mind if he asked Blair out on a date. It was a whirlwind from there.
He took her on some of the nicest dates she had ever been on. Most guys would take her out for coffee, maybe a movie if they could scrape the money together, but Harry took Blair out to nice restaurants, and to the movies that had lux levels. Not to mention his condo, god, she loved his condo. He liked that she kept things simple. Crockpot dinners at her place, watching TV curled up in her little full-sized bed, and clipping coupons together on Sunday mornings. That was where they had sex for the first time, in her little bed after their fifth date. He told her he loved her for the first time on the top of a Farris Wheel during the spring carnival her campus held, and she wasted no time saying it back. After that, a deeper trust formed between the two of them. One that not a lot of people would understand. Harry didn’t quite understand it himself since he was usually the one who was a little more dominant in bed, but with Blair…well, needless to say after a long week of working cases, his favorite thing was to come home, find her in his bedroom with some lingerie on, and letting her tie him to the bed posts for a little while. It was a release he didn’t even really know he needed. And with her, having been a college student about ready to graduate and enter the real world, it felt like so many things were out of control. Harry gave her that control back.
Harry wonders if that’s why they breakup seemed so much harder on him than her. It seemed like Blair was able to let go so easily. Yes, he started fucking around afterwards, but he just couldn’t get that same high from anyone else, nor did he trust some random girl at a bar to do the things for him that Blair once did. Blair was just better at hiding her emotions. She missed Harry, she’s missed him for a long time now. She cried for weeks, feeling this undeniable ache in her heart without him around. But, she had her studio to throw herself into, a brand to keep building. It was the perfect distraction, and even though she missed Harry, she didn’t hate being single for the first time in a while. For three years, Harry had been like her security blanket. The way she looked at it, every kid eventually stops sleeping with their security blanket at some point. It was time to be independent.
//
The funeral was a graveside service. It was cloudy, but there wasn’t rain, which was probably the only upside Blair could think of. She was there, sitting next to her mother, other family members in the row behind them. Her mother was holding Blair’s hand, but this is one the few times Blair wished someone was there for her. Just as the service was about to get started, someone sat down next to her. She looks to her right and sees Harry, dressed in black from head to toe. He doesn’t say anything, he just puts his arm around her, and rubs his shoulder. He gives Blair’s mom a soft smile before sitting back in his seat.
“Harry…you weren’t supposed to come until afterwards…” Blair says.
“I know.” He looks at her. “I just wanted to be here for you.”
Harry gave Blair his extra tissues while she cried during the service. He held her the entire time, and stayed back once it was over. Then, he offered to drive Blair and Pam back to Pam’s home. Neither of them were in any condition to drive. There were a lot of people that came back to the house afterwards. Blair was able to calm down a bit, but her mother was really taking it hard.
“We don’t have to do this today.” Harry says to Blair.
“No, we should just rip the band aid. Then she can just…” Blair’s eyes widen when she sees Lora walk through the door. “Oh, you miserable cunt.” She says.
“What?” Harry asks, confused.
“Not you, Lora’s here.” Blair storms over to her. “What are you doing here?”
“Nice to see you too.” Lora smiles. “I’m here to grieve the loss of my first husband.”
“You weren’t at the funeral.”
“I didn’t want to upset anyone.” Lora shrugs. “So…have you read the will yet? I think I should be in on that.”
“Lora.” Pam says when she walks over. “Alright, let’s get this over with.” Pam sighs, and has everyone follow her down the hall to the guest bedroom. Harry takes out the paperwork.
“There’s been-“ He starts, but he’s cut off.
“I’m sorry, but how is it legal if her boyfriend is reading the will?” Lora asks.
“We’re not together anymore. We haven’t been for a while. He’s here as our attorney, that’s it.” Blair says.
“Anyways, been a trust set up for Blair a little down the road. Everything else, including the house, has been left to Pamela Smith. There is no mention of anyone else’s name.”
“That can’t be right.” Lora scoffs. “I was promised-“
“He would have never left you anything.” Pam says. “And I’m sick of dealing with you. He’s gone, he’s left you nothing, you have no ties to us now. It’s clear as day that Derek is not his. He owed you absolutely nothing, you gold digging bitch.” Pam steps closer to Lora. “Now, get out of my house before I have you removed. I buried my husband today, I am in no mood to be fucked with.”
“Fine.” Lora says, turns on her heel and leaves.
“Way to go, Mum.” Blair gives her a high five. “I thought she’d put up more of a fight than that.”
“With your father maybe, but not with me. I’ve ripped her cheap extensions out more than once, and she knows I’ll do it again.” She takes take a deep breath. “I think I’m about ready to be done for the day. I need to lay down.”
“Do you want me to stay tonight?” Blair asks her.
“No, honey, thank you. Auntie Fay is staying, I’ll be alright.” She looks at Harry. “Harry, I can’t thank you enough for helping with all of this.”
“Don’t mention it. If there’s anything else I can do, anything at all, don’t be afraid to ask.”
“Drive Blair home.”
“Mum.”
Pam raises her hands in defense and leaves the room.
“I can drive you back if you want. I took an uber out here as it was.” Harry says, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“You’ve done enough for me today, it’s alright…I can make it back on my own. Riley’s flying back in from Chicago tomorrow and we’re gonna have a girl’s day, so-“
“Blair, I still have your keys in my pocket, I’m driving you.”
“I don’t need you to swoop in here and act like superman, Harry.” Her bottom lip trembles. “I know my dad’s not around to do it anymore, but-“
“Hey.” He takes her in his arms. “I wish I could take it all away, I really do. I wish you weren’t going through all of this, baby.”
“Harry.” She sighs heavily into his chest.
“Sorry.” He rests his chin on the top of her head. “Some habits are hard to break I guess.”
“Have you called anyone else baby in the last year?” She nuzzles in close to him.
“No.” He tilts her chin up to look at him. “I never could.”
“Okay, you can drive me home.” She sighs. “I’m about ready to pass out as it is.”
Blair takes a few minutes to say goodbye to the people still at the house before her and Harry get into her car. He keeps the music volume low, and her eyes start to droop. Harry can’t help but feel soft and warm knowing she was so easily able to fall asleep with him there still. She’d always fall asleep on long car rides.
“Blair.” Harry says, trying to wake her up. “We’re at your place, love.” She groans at him, and he sighs. “Are you really going to make me carry you up?” She groans again and he rolls his eyes. Blair would always pretend to be asleep so Harry would carry her inside. He unbuckles her, gets out, and opens her door to lift her out. “You’re killing me.” He grunts as he carries her to the front door. He keys in, and carries her up the stairs to her door. “I know you’re awake.” He says as he brings her to her bedroom.
“Mm, but you’re so strong and warm.” She mumbles.
“Okay.” He chuckles and lays her on her bed. “Are your pj’s still in the third drawer of your dresser.”
“Harry.” She sits up. “You don’t have to do all that…”
“I was just gonna grab you a shirt and get out of your hair.” He says innocently.
“God, I’m so confused.” She pinches the bridge of her nose.
“About what?” He grabs a bed shirt for her, and sits on the edge of her bed.
“I think I’m just feeling vulnerable, I don’t know.” She looks away from him. “I don’t want you to go.” She mutters, and then looks at him. “But I also don’t want to get your hopes up.”
“If you need me to stay as a friend, I can do that.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’d never leave you like this.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I was just gonna pretend to leave, and then crash on your couch.”
“Well, you don’t have to do that. Got a queen sized bed now, plenty of room.”
“I can see that.” He smiles. “There was nothing wrong with your old bed. It was kinda fun when we were practically sleeping on top of each other.”
“Yeah, but your bed was better for…well…never mind.” She clears her throat. “Um, I still have some of your old pajama pants in my drawer, you can wear those if you want.”
“I’m good with just boxers if that’s alright with you.”
“Oh, um sure.” She gets off the bed to stand up. “I’m just gonna go wash up and change.”
Harry nods and gets undressed. He goes over to her bathroom door to wait his turn. Blair’s eyes widen when she sees him standing there in his underwear.
“You don’t have a spare toothbrush, do you?”
“Um, you can use one of the extra heads I have for my electric brush.”
“Thanks.” He steps into the bathroom as she leaves to go back to her bedroom.
“Oh my god.” She says to herself. He had beefed up a bit. Harry was already sort of beefy, but he used to be leaner. Had he been getting a lot of protein? She shakes her head as she crawls into bed. Harry comes in shortly after and gets in on the other side. She turns her head to look at him. “Thank you, Harry.”
“You don’t have to thank me.” He looks at her. “I’d be a pretty shitty person to leave you in a time like this.”
“Yeah, but you could be catching tail at some bar with your friends.” She smirks at him.
“You make me sound like I’m promiscuous or something.” He chuckles and turns fully on his side towards her. She does the same. “It’s a stress reliever, and I always wrap it up. M’not doing anything wrong.”
“Do you, um, do what we used to do with any of these hookups?”
“No.” He smirks. “No, I don’t think I could ever trust someone in that way again even if I tried.” He chews his bottom lip. “What about you?”
“Harry, to be honest with you…I haven’t slept with anyone since we broke up.”
“Blair, that was a year ago.”
“I’m well aware.” She rolls her eyes.
“That’s a long fucking dry spell.”
“It’s not a dry spell, it’s a personal choice. I threw myself into the studio, I worked on choreographing a ton of new dances. I was building my brand, bringing in more clientele. Plus…anytime I’d use a dating app or go out with Riley to a bar…no one was ever you.”
“I know things seemed mutual and we didn’t end in some big blow up…but I was so hurt that we couldn’t make things work.” He reaches to tuck some hair behind her ear. “I thought we were going to be together forever.”
“So did I…but I don’t know if I was ready for something so long-term yet, which I know sounds stupid because three years is a long time to be with someone.”
“It’s not stupid. I would have felt the same at that age. It was sort of selfish of me to try to lock you down the way I was.”
“You weren’t being selfish for wanting to be with me, Harry.”
“You know, the last thing I expected when I helped Riley move in that semester was falling in love with her roommate. You just looked so cute that day.”
“You remember how I looked when we first met?”
“How could I forget? You were wearing these sweater leggings that had snow flakes on them, and you were wearing this oversized sweater that was hanging off your shoulder, and you kept trying to tug it back on. You seemed so flustered around me.”
“I was.” She laughs. “I thought for sure you just wanted to fuck me and then leave with the way you pushed me up against the wall when you kissed me.”
“Yeah, you nearly shit yourself at dinner afterwards. Poor Riley had no idea I frenched you for a solid thirty minutes.”
“My lips were so swollen, she had to have known. I was more in shock when you came by a week later to ask me out. God, you were so cute, you were waiting outside my apartment with hot apple cider, and I had such a shit day at my practicum. I was in dingy sweats too, and you still told me I looked beautiful.”
“And I meant it.”
“Then you said I looked tired, and right before I went off on you, you pulled me inside and said that you were going to make me dinner so I could go upstairs and take a long hot shower.”
“Mhm, made you spaghetti and meatballs.”
“And that really yummy homemade garlic bread.” She smiles.
“Then we cuddled up and watched Ratatouille.” He chuckles.
“I was so mad that you had never seen it! And then you ended up loving it.”
“It’s a great movie, honestly.” He says, smiling at her. “Best first date ever.”
“Yeah, it was. When I went to sleep that night I couldn’t believe that a real man wanted to be with me. I don’t think any of the guys I dated in college knew how to cook.”
“Pretty sure I did a good job making you forget about any other guy you had ever been with.” He smirks, and she nudges his shoulder.
“Maybe…maybe when I’m in a better mindset…we could talk about…I mean…I’ve been thinking about you a lot ever since we started talking again, sorry, I’m rambling.” She sighs. “I don’t want you to think that I wanna give things another shot because you’ve been helping me and my mom, but it’s been hard not to think about it…especially after today.” She blinks away a few tears. “I wasn’t expecting you to come to the service. Riley felt awful that she couldn’t be there, and I felt so alone, even being with my mom. You’re so selfless.” She pouts at him.
“I would love to talk about potentially getting back together. I…I don’t think I realized how much I missed you until you walked into my office. I thought I was out having the time of my life, but I wasn’t. Nobody could ever compare to you.”
“I think I just need some time to make sure I’m not…I’m not just feeling this way because you’re being so sweet to me when no one else is.”
“Take all the time you need.” He strokes her cheek. “M’gonna turn over now. If you just so happen to feel like spooning me, I promise not to question it.”
“Please, snuggling sounds like the perfect medicine after today. Assume the position, Styles.”
He chuckles and rolls onto his other side. Blair slots a leg between his, and wraps her arm around his stomach. They both sigh, and wiggle closer to one another. Blair hadn’t felt peace like this in quite some time, and neither had Harry.
//
Blair woke up in a fog the next morning. Her eyes still felt puffy and swollen from crying, and even though the clock read 10AM, she felt like she could stay in bed for at least two more hours. She remembers Harry staying and falling asleep with her, but he wasn’t there next to her now. Where he laid was still warm, so he couldn’t have left too long ago. When she smells coffee, she wakes up a bit more. There was a coffee cup from Dunkin’ on her side table, along with a small bag that she knew had to be a coffee cake muffin. She sits up and sees a note next to the casual breakfast.
Had to rush off to the office this morning. Got a call that one of my major clients passed, and his family is already fighting over the money. Had to time to run out and get you brekkie though! I’ll call you later. – H
Blair pouts at the note, and takes a sip of her coffee, which had cooled down just enough for her to sip it without burning her tongue. She texts Harry a quick “thank you” before diving into her muffin. This was his signature “sorry for not being there when you wake up” breakfast treat. There had been many mornings Blair had woken up alone after spending the night with him. It wasn’t because Harry liked scooting out, he just usually got pulled away due to something work related, and he knew that Blair liked being able to sleep in when she could on the weekends, especially when she was still in school. She never minded because she knew he was busy. She used to just lounge around for an hour or so in his large bed before getting up and making it. Then she’d take an indulgent bath in his Jacuzzi-tub. He’d usually get back to her sometime in the afternoon, and they would snuggle up to watch a movie before he brought her back to her apartment. It worked for them.
There were plenty of times Blair had to scoot early as well. When she was doing her practicum, she needed to be at the high school no later than 7AM, which sucked because at the time she was a major night owl. It’s taken her years of discipline to get herself to fall asleep at a reasonable time so she wouldn’t be so groggy and grumpy in the morning. That was something that Harry helped with as well. He told her about this sleepy time playlist on Spotify that he would listen to on the nights he needed to go to bed early. Blair had told him she couldn’t afford the premium membership and she didn’t want to be jolted awake by ads. So what did Harry do? He bought the subscription plan that allowed for two people to be on it, helped her shift her account, and even though she protested, he insisted. The music sounded like something a masseuse would put on, and it always put her right to sleep. Harry was a genius, at least Blair thought so.
“How do you always have an answer for everything?” She had cried to him on a particularly stressful evening. It was after she graduated, and she had just gotten her business up and running. She felt overwhelmed and scared. “You always stay so calm, it’s like you don’t even care!”
“I just know that this’ll pass, baby. You just graduated from college, you’re going through a major life change. You’ve had the same routine all your life, and now it’s completely different. In a few months things won’t feel as scary.” He smiled at her, and wrapped his arms around her mid-section. “Went through the same thing myself not too long ago. I promise, it gets a lot better. Your early twenties fucking suck.”
“Yeah? How are things looking in the world of mid to late twenties?” She pouted up at him.
“Well,” he moved some hair away from her face, “I’ve got an incredible girlfriend who loves me, and I just so happen to love her, and I’m feeling settled in mt job, and I have a great place to live, and oh! Finally stopped having stress dreams about missing a big exam. Can’t complain too much.”
“I…I’m gonna be really busy at the studio. I have to choreograph all these dances, and start advertising, and-“
“Hey, I’ve got an idea.” He tugged her along down the hall to his home office.
“Harry, I’m not in the mood to fuck in your office…” She said, and Harry chuckled.
“As much as I love it when you let me bend you over my desk, that’s not what this is about.” He took her inside and took out a few sheets of blank paper and some pens. He sat down and pulled her into her lap. “Alright, this used to help me all the time when I was super stressed, still does, actually.” She watched as he drew three large circles, and wrote CHOREOGRAPHY in one, SOCIAL MEDIA, in another, and BUDGET
in the last. “Alright, so these are some rather large cookies, wouldn’t you say?” He looked up at her, and she looked down at him and nodded. “Okay, so what are some ways we can take little bites out of these?”
“Like a checklist for each?”
“Sort of, yeah.” He drew a few stems from each circle. “Almost like a backwards flow chart.”
“Is this what you do with your clients when they ask for financial advice?”
“Sometimes.” He nodded. “But more importantly, I want to help my girlfriend who is insanely frazzled. I hate when people try to be problem solvers…so hope you don’t think that’s what I’m trying to do…”
“No.” She shook her head. “This is great. I think if I have it all laid out in front of me…and can check certain things off…take smaller bites, like you said, I can handle things better.” She grabbed a pen and started writing, and making more stems, color coding a few of them. “My parents are gonna help cover the loan payments for the first year so I can save up, and start paying off my student loans.” She chewed her bottom lip. “And I can set aside some time in the mornings to do the social media stuff, and use the afternoons for choreography…evenings I can work on my website.”
“Just think of how sweet it’ll all taste by the time you finish.” He smiled up at her, and she leaned in to peck his lips.
“I love you, Harry, thank you.”
“I love you too, baby.” He kissed her again, ever so tenderly and soft. “Don’t let this stuff build up, you know you can talk to me about anything.”
“I just feel like my problems are so trivial, like, there are people that are starving, and I’m crying about being overwhelmed.”
“Your feelings are valid, don’t compare it to what someone else might be going through.”
“Do you think, um, could you just hold me for a bit?” It was so rare for Blair to be this vulnerable. Usually she was the one to hold Harry, but once in a while she just really needed him.
“Of course.” He shifted in his seat to cradle her to his chest. He was so warm and inviting, he always made Blair feel safe.
Blair sighs, and shakes herself from the memory. She couldn’t bask in the good times and act as if there weren’t also bad times. Although…there really weren’t that many bad times. She finishes up her muffin and gets out of bed. She grimaced when she saw herself in her bathroom mirror, and decided a long, hot shower would do her some good. She didn’t have the energy to wash her hair, so she grabs a scrunchie to put it up in a bun on the top of her head. As the warm water cascades over her body, she can’t help but continue to let her mind wander to other old memories.
“Harry! I told you I’d be five minutes.” Blair whispered to Harry as he entered the bathroom. He locked the door behind him and smirked. “Riley’s home! Just down the hall sleeping.” Harry pulled back the shower door, and walked into it with her. All he did was put a finger up to his lips.
“Then we’ll need to be quiet.” He whispered to her, ghosting his lips over hers.
“I…I’ve never had sex in the shower before. I always heard it wasn’t as cracked up as it looks in the movies.”
“That’s because people try too hard to do it full on.” He stepped into the water, getting his hair wet, and then moves her so she’s pressed up against the wall. He knelt in front of her, and looked up at her wet body. “Can I make you feel good, baby?”
“Y-yes.”
He grinned, and lifted one of her legs over his shoulder.
“Now, you need to stay quiet.” He pressed his lips to one of her hip bones, and kissed across her pelvis. “So, if it gets to be too much, just suck on your fingers or something, pull my hair, whatever you need to do.” She watched as his eyes darkened when he licked over her clit. His tongue moved to her slit and licked up. He moaned, letting his eyes flutter closed before looking back up at her. “You have no idea how fucking good you taste.”
“Blair!” Riley exclaims as she comes into the apartment. Blair’s taken from her thoughts just as she was whimpering out Harry’s name.
“I’m in the shower!” Blair yells back, and finishes cleaning herself up. She meets Riley out in the living room once she’s thrown some sweats on. “Hi.”
“Oh, god, I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there.” Riley wraps her arms around her friend.
“You couldn’t have known.” Blair hugs her back. “A month in Chicago, I can’t wait to hear all about it.” They let go of each other.
“Are you sure you wanna talk about all that?”
“Yeah, I need the distraction.”
“Alright. I brought coffee and doughnuts.” Riley smiles.
“Thank you, but I might save that for later. I had coffee and a muffin earlier…um, Harry spent the night last night.” Blair blushes as they both move to sit on the couch.
“Holy shit! Pleas don’t tell me you called him for a booty call.” Riley frowns.
“No, it was nothing like that. I told you he was helping with all of the legal stuff…he ended up coming to the funeral unannounced. He was there for me…he drove me home and I asked him to stay. We just slept, and he was gone before I woke up because of a work thing.”
“Ah, and he brought you the old comfort breakfast to make up for it.” Riley shakes her head. “Well, I’m glad he was there for you. I always hoped you would become friends at some point after you broke up.”
“I don’t think I realized how much I missed him. I’ve been so independent for the last year, it felt kind of nice to lean on him for a change.”
“Do you think you wanna get back together?”
“I don’t know…I was definitely feeling something yesterday, even this morning, but I don’t know if it’s because I’m just sad and vulnerable, or if it’s because I really wanna give it a second go. I don’t really know what would be different this time. He still works crazy hours, and-“
“He’s dialed back a lot.” Riley cuts him off. “Ever since he’s taken over, and once he really got settled into it, he hasn’t been working himself to the bone like he was. Are there still some sixty-hour weeks? Sometimes, but not like he was, I swear.”
“He didn’t seem to think we still spoke…so that made me think you weren’t as close with him…”
“I don’t hang out with him as much…I speak with his friend John quite a bit, though.” Riley blushes.
“Speak to or fuck?” Blair smirks.
“Don’t. If Harry knew I was messing around with one of his boys, god, I don’t even wanna think about it.”
“Oh, so he can go out with your friend, but you can’t go out with his?”
“John and I aren’t going out. We just…meet up to fuck sometimes, but we both still hookup with other people. I mean, I’m sure he slept with his share of people while I was away.”
“Did you?”
“There were a couple of people I let take me back to my hotel, yeah.” Riley nods. “Don’t say anything to Harry, okay?”
“Christ, I’m not his best friend all of a sudden. I think I was just emotional last night. I doubt we’ll even-“
There’s a jingle of keys, and then Harry’s entering the apartment. He freezes when he sees Riley.
“Hey! You’re back.” He smiles at his cousin. “How was Chicago?”
“Windy.” Riley says. “But fun, I made a ton of sales.”
“That’s great.” Harry sets the keys on the kitchen counter and then comes further into the living area. “How are you this morning?” He asks Blair.
“I’m okay, um, thanks for breakfast.”
“Yeah, of course, sorry I had to skip out. Uh, I just came back to see how you were, but I can see your girl’s day has started, so I’ll head out.”
“You can stay, Har, we were just gonna paint our nails, nothing you haven’t done with us before.” Riley says. “You don’t mind, right, Blair?”
“S-sure, you can stay, Harry…if you want to.”
“I’d love to stay.” He comes over and sits down on Blair’s other side. “Nothing like giving you a Styles sandwich to make you feel better.” He smirks. “Alright, Riles, what colors did you bring?”
The three ended up having a great day together. It felt like old times. They painted their nails, ordered Chinese, and watched Mystic Pizza. Riley was starting to get tired, so she left around six. The jet lag was catching up with her. So it was just Harry and Blair sitting on the couch watching Wall-E.
“Do you remember the first time we watched this?” Harry asks her a few minutes in.
“Mhm.” Blair smiles without looking at him. “It was that weekend we went away Hampton Beach, and it rained in the evening, so instead of being annoyed, we got all cozy and watched this.”
“After…” He looks at her, a smirk growing on his face.
“Harry.” She rolls her eyes.
“Come on, what did we do just before settling in to watch this adorable film?”
Blair sighs, but gives in, “We made hot fudge sundaes, and, um, I let you lay me on the counter and lick chocolate sauce and whipped cream off my body.” She swallows. “Then I did the same to you. We made a mess of the Air BnB.”
“We cleaned it up. Then we got into that big, comfy bed and just vegged out. Think this is one of my favorite Pixar films that you showed me.”
“You really liked Cars too.” Blair chuckles.
“Yeah, I did. That was a good one.” Harry leans back on the couch, crossing his arms behind his head.
“You don’t need to do this, you know?”
“Do what, love?” He says without looking at her, eyes focused on the screen.
“Babysit me.” She mutters.
“S’not what I’m doing.” He scoffs. “I’m enjoying spending time with you, Blair.” He looks at her. “And I’m worried about you, but I’m not babysitting you.” He puts his hand on her knee and gives it a squeeze before taking it away. “Just relax, yeah?”
“Thanks.” She pauses for a moment. “Harry…would you be taking care of me like this if you had a new girlfriend?” Her eyes start to well up with tears. “Because-“
“Why are you asking a what if like that?” He reaches to wipe her tears with his thumbs. “At the risk of sounding totally lame…I was sort of just waiting on you. Sort of hoping you’d wanna get back together at some point. I tried dating, but it’s like I told you…no one was ever you.”
“So you just kept fucking strangers?” She was so confused.
“It was all meaningless. I figured if you were out there living your life, then I should do the same.” He shrugs.
“Harry, I know you think we broke up because you thought I needed time to be young or whatever, but I wasn’t out there fucking a ton of different people. I just…I don’t know, I wanted to be on my own.”
“And I understood that, as much as it upset me. What was I going to do, beg you to stay my girlfriend?” He moves a bit closer to her. “If we were to get back together, what would you want to be different? Obviously things stopped working…”
“It’s not that they stopped working, I just…I think I just grew up a little bit. You gave me plenty of room for it, but I just sort of realized that there were other things I wanted to do and I didn’t wanna be totally tied down. If we were to get back together, I wouldn’t want you paying for things all the time, or thinking you need to fix all of my problems. Sometimes I just want someone to listen without making suggestions, you know?”
“I didn’t even realize I was doing that.” He runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, I know you always meant well, and you were just trying to help in your own way.” She gives him a reassuring smile. “It didn’t always bother me, but sometimes it did. I wasn’t perfect either, I know how closed off I could get.” She furrows her brows. “I’ve been trying to work on that. I added the yoga into my routines…so that’s been helping. You sort of inspired that.”
“I should start my membership back up.”
“Yeah…it would be nice to see you in class again.”
“Remember when I started coming on Tuesday evenings, and then we’d go to the Thai place for dinner afterwards?”
“Mhm, and then you’d take us back to your place, and set up a bath for us.” She sighs dreamily. “And then you’d massage my calves for me, ugh, I always loved that.”
“Couldn’t have my baby being sore the next morning, could I?” He pouts playfully at her, and she giggles.
“You were always so good to me.” Her face was only a few inches from his now.
“Fucking worshiped you.” His lips ghost over hers, and she whimpers.
“Kiss me, Harry.”
His lips slot over hers immediately, and cups her cheeks to pull her even closer. He sucks on her bottom lip, and she whimpers again. Blair tugs on Harry’s shirt, and then pushes his back to the couch. She moves to straddle him, and he wraps his arms around her body. They’re both grabbing at different parts of one another, and she shifts so she’s only straddling one of his thighs, rolling her hips down onto it. Harry groans, and starts kissing on her neck. She gets a fist full of his hair, and yanks his head back.
“Harry, I don’t think this is a good idea.” She admits. “I mean…we haven’t agreed to anything. I think we should take this slow, don’t you?”
“You just told me to kiss you, and then you climbed into my lap.” He smirks, and she starts laughing.
“Yeah.” She grips his chin with her other hand. “You’re always good at doing exactly what I say.”
“Always.” He agrees. “If you’re not planning on having your way with me then you should get off. You’re only gonna rile me up, and I’ve not done anything to deserve that.”
“No, I suppose you deserve a reward instead of a punishment.” She presses her forehead to his and lets her hands fall to his shoulders. She sighs heavily and then looks at him again. “I need a little more time. I wanna make sure that this really makes sense. The last thing I wanna do is hurt you again.”
“I don’t want you to feel hurt either.” He squeezes her hips. “I wanna give you the time, Blair, but you’ve also had a year to sort your feelings. You either wanna do this or you don’t.”
“I really hate it when you’re right.” She huffs. “But I know what you’re saying.”
“How about this…why don’t we go out Saturday night? We could go on a date, and see how it feels.”
“Why not Friday?”
“Because you work early on Saturday mornings, darling, and you’re just going to be getting back to it again.” He tucks some hair behind her hear. “Can’t have you being sleepy.”
“You’re so sweet.” She smiles. “Okay, yeah, I’d like that. Um, did you want to just go out for dinner?”
“If that’s what you wanna do, baby. I’m down for whatever.”
“I haven’t been to that grill we used to go to all the time in forever. Feel like I could go for a really good burger.”
“Alright, we’ll go to Benson’s. I’ll pick you up around six, how’s that sound?”
“I think it sounds like a date.”
//
On Wednesday evening, much to Blair’s surprise, Harry walked into one of her evening classes with Riley. Riley had a cheeky smile on her face, and Blair just shook her head at the two of them. It had been ages since Harry had been to one of her classes, and he had picked a yoga day.
“Good evening, everyone!” Blair says once everyone gets there. “We’re gonna start off with our warm up, and then get in to it. We’ll work a little with the weights, and then we’ll cool down with the yoga like always. Does everyone have their weights?” She hears a collective yes. “Alright!” She hops up onto the small stage and gets the music playing.
When the class is over, a few people hang back to talk to Blair. Riley would usually grab a quick bite with her after class. A guy was talking to her now.
“Hey, who is that?” Harry asks Riley as they clean up their stations.
“Hm? Oh, that’s Rich, he has a thing for Blair.” Riley rolls her eyes. “He refuses to take a hint. The second he found out she was single he was all over her. She’s nice to him, but she doesn’t like him back.”
Harry narrows his eyes, and reads Blair’s body language like a book. Her arms were crossed, and she was casually trying to step away from Rich.
“I’ll get him to leave her alone.” Harry says.
“Harry, don’t.” Riley grabs his wrist. “She can handle herself.”
“I know she can, but she looks so uncomfortable. What if they were left alone here, and he tried something. He needs to know she has some backup.” Harry walks over to the two, and Blair can’t help but smirk because she knows exactly why Harry’s walking over. “Hey, sorry to interrupt, but we should get going if we want to make trivia night.”
“Right! Yeah, sorry, Rich, I need to get the studio cleaned up so I can head out.” Blair was thankful. Harry was always good at coming up with excuses for them to leave places early. Usually it was because he needed to get her home so she could fuck him, obviously now that wasn’t the case.
“Oh…alright, well, I’ll see you next week. Have a good night.” Rich looks Harry up and down before leaving.
“Thank you.” Blair sighs. “He’s a nice guy, but I’m not interested.”
“Obviously.” Harry scoffs. “Have fun with Riley.”
“You don’t wanna come with?”
“Nah, I need to get home. I have some stuff I need to do before tomorrow. Still on for Saturday?”
“Mhm.” She nods with a smile.
“Good.” He kisses her cheek. “I’ll call you Friday.”
Harry leaves and Riley helps Blair cleanup before they head out to a Panera for dinner.
“So, you two are going out on Saturday?” Riley asks her when they sit down with their food.
“Yeah, it’s sort of like a first date. I wanna make sure things feel really right with us. I have a feeling we’ll get back together officially, though.”
“Yeah? What makes you think that?” Riley smirks.
“Well…we kissed on Sunday night when he was still over. It was a really good kiss too, it was familiar, but there was still that, like, passion, you know?”
“I would love it if you got back together. I never really liked the other people he dated, and I was so excited when you both got together. He’s like the brother I never had, and I want him with someone that really cares about him. I never doubted that with you. You guys got together at a weird time in your life where you were sort of at different places. Now…well, now you might mesh better. You grew up a lot during the time you were together, I know that was tough on you both.”
“Yeah, it was.” Blair sighs, and bites into her piece of bread. “I feel like I could handle things better now. He’s been there for me during so many tough times, he’s seen me…at my absolute worst, and still loved me through all of it. I can’t wrap my head around him turning into such a playboy.”
“I couldn’t believe it myself, but I honestly don’t think he really knew how to deal with not having you around, and then…I don’t know.” Riley shakes her head. “He always wrapped it up, that’s what John told me, anyways.”
“He mentioned that to me too.” Blair rolls her eyes. “I’m not going to hold anything against him, we weren’t together. I don’t have the right to judge him about it.”
“He only wanted you, B.” Riley smiles.
“I really have missed him.” Blair smiles. “I’m really looking forward to going out with him Saturday night.” She bites her bottom lip. “Wanna come with me to Victoria’s Secret during the day? I think I should pick out something new…”
“Yeah! I’ve got a coupon to go there, actually. I need some new undies.”
“Oh, yay! We haven’t been shopping in forever.”
“I know! I hope I’m not on the road for an entire month like that again. It got old real quick.”
//
On Friday, Harry was in his office wrapping some things up, going over some paperwork. Then he looked over his calendar for Monday, just to see what meetings he had, and if he needed to do anything over the weekend.
“Mr. Styles?” Kiley, the intern training with Kate comes into his office.
“Miss Stewart, what can I do you for?” He asks, giving her his full attention. She pouts slightly at him.
“You can just call me Kiley…you call Kate by her first name.”
“I’ve known Kate for quite some time, Miss Stewart.”
“Well, we’ll get to know each other pretty well once she’s on maternity…right?”
“Most likely.” He nods. “Did you need something?”
“Yes, sorry.” She pulls a paper out of her bag. “Um, I just need you to sign off on the hours I worked this week since Kate left early. I forgot to ask her before she stepped out for her doctor’s appointment.”
“Oh, sure.” He gestures for the paper. “They’re really on you guys about the hours, huh?”
“Yeah.” She sighs. “I don’t mind, though, because I have to write a paper explaining what I did, so having an account of that will be helpful.” She shrugs. Harry hums his response as he signs the paper and hands it back to her. “Thank you…any fun plans for the weekend?”
“Just laying low tonight. I’ve got a date tomorrow, though.” He smiles.
“Oh! That’s nice.” She smiles. “Did you just meet someone?”
“No.” He shakes his head with a chuckle. “Might be starting over with my ex, which I’m pretty excited about since I’m still hopelessly in love with her.”
“Well in that case, I hope it goes super well.” She beams at him.
“Thank you, Kiley.” Her smile widens at him even more. “Feel free to head out, enjoy your weekend.”
“Thank you, Mr. Styles. I expect a full report of your date on Monday morning.”
Harry chuckles and nods as she leaves. Just when he thought his door was going to close, John enters.
“Wrap it buddy boy, we gotta meet the guys soon.”
“About that…I’m going to skip out on tonight.”
“Seriously? Why?” John frowns.
“I…I have a date tomorrow night with Blair, and-“
“You can’t be serious.” John rolls his eyes and sits down. “Why would you even entertain the idea of getting back together with her?”
“Because she seems ready for a relationship again. I still love her, and I think she still loves me. There’s still a chemistry between us, physically, so we’re going to Benson’s for a burger tomorrow to see if everything else is still there.”
“So that means you can’t come out for guy’s night?”
“You know as well as I do that guy’s night never stays guy’s night. I don’t want to be tempted by anything that could fuck me over. Besides, it wouldn’t kill me to stay in for a change. There’s a book I’ve been meaning to get back to. I wouldn’t mind just taking it easy, you guys have a good time without me.” Harry smiles at his friend. “It’s nothing personal…”
“I know.” John sighs. “You’re just fun, that’s all…” John looks down at his phone and smirks.
“Maybe you’ll meet up with that girl you see on the regular. Seems like she just texted you.”
“Maybe she did.” John nods.
“How come you don’t just date her? I’ve watched you turn down other girls to go meet up with her a dozen times.”
“It’s a little complicated. She travels a lot for work, we’re both just looking for someone familiar to hookup with right now.”
“Guess that makes sense.” Harry shrugs. “You’re pretty busy yourself”
“Exactly, so when’s around I see her more, and when she’s gone, I see other people. She does the same. We’re pretty open about it.”
“Good.” Harry smiles. “Have a beer for me tonight, yeah?”
“Alright.” John sighs and stands up. “Have fun with Blair, I guess.”
“You could sound a little more enthused.”
“I’ll be enthused if she doesn’t string you along.”
“She never strung me along.” Harry shakes his head. “We were a great team.”
“Seems like you were always doing everything for her.”
“No, she did plenty for me.”
“Babe?! I picked up a pizza!” Blair shouted as she entered Harry’s place, putting her key in the bowl by the door. “Baby?!” He wasn’t in the kitchen like she thought he’d be. She set the pizza down on the counter and walked down the hall to his home office. Her jaw dropped when she saw him knuckling at his eyes. “Harry, are you crying?” She asked softly.
“Blair.” He said, almost surprised. “Hi, I lost track of time, I’m sorry. Let’s eat.” He stood up, but she went over to him and urged him to sit.
“What happened, what’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing, baby.”
“It’s not nothing if you’re crying. Talk to me.”
“I’m just really stressed.” His voice cracked. “I was looking forward to taking over for my dad, but there’s so much other shit that’s been added to my plate that he didn’t really prepare me for. Now he’s down in Florida living it up with my mum, and I can’t even talk to him about it because I don’t want him to be disappointed in me. He’s trusting me with everything.”
“That’s a lot.” She wipes=d his tears away. “I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “Is…is there anything I can do to help? Anything I can do to help take your mind off things for a bit? I brought pizza…”
“Um…yeah, I think there is something you could do for me, but it doesn’t involve food.” He stood and took her hand, leading her out to the living room. They both sat down. “Sometimes when we’re having sex…I let you take the lead, have you noticed that?”
“A little.” She shrugged. “I mean, I like that you’re not super dominating, it makes me feel safe.”
“Right, but before you I wasn’t really like that. I was always in control, but with you…I feel really safe too. So safe…that I’m able to just let everything else slip away when we’re doing what we do.”
“What are you saying exactly?”
“I…I sometimes I think I want you to really be in control. I’m not saying all the time, but I have to be in control of so many things, and I think it would be nice to not.”
“Okay, so I could ride you more if you want.”
“Well, that would be nice.” He smirked. “But I’m talking more like…like maybe you could blindfold me once in a while, or you could cuff me to the bed?” His was flushed with embarrassment. Her eyes widened as she finally started to understand what he was trying to say. “I’ve totally freaked you out, haven’t I? I know that stuff isn’t for everyone. I was just thinking we’ve been together a while now-“
“Harry, calm down.” She smiled, squeezing his hand. “I think it’s kind of hot that you wanna explore some different things.”
“You do?”
“Mhm.” She nodded. “I…just don’t ask me to, like, whip you or anything. I don’t think I could hurt you.”
“No, I’m not looking for pain.” He chuckled. “I just…wanna clear my head sometimes, that’s all.”
“Okay, I think I could be into that. You know how much I love all your ties, I’d love to tie you up with them.” She grinned, and he groaned softly.
“What do you say we leave the pizza for later, and we head into the bedroom to explore a little bit?”
“I say we’re in for a fantastic weekend.”
“Whatever you say man.” John says. “See you Monday.” John leaves Harry’s office, and Harry sighs. He never told anyone about what he and Blair did, it was no one’s business. He certainly wasn’t going to let it slip now.
//
At around 10AM Saturday morning, Blair picked up Riley so they could go shopping. Riley had bags under her eyes, and a fresh hickey on her neck. Blair’s mouth fell open the second Riley got in the car.
“Don’t.” Riley mumbles.
“I didn’t say anything.” Blair chuckles.
“But I know what you’re thinking.”
“Did you meet up with John last night?”
“Yeah, I guess Harry didn’t feel like going out last night, so I met up with him at some bar, and then he came back with me to my place.”
“Oh shit, is still there?”
“No, he left at, like, seven.” Riley rolls her eyes. “But not before he fucked me again.” She shakes her head. “We’ve fucked so many times, I don’t know how he’s not sick of me yet, or how I’m not sick of him.”
“Maybe it’s a sign you two should be more.” Blair smirks.
“I mean, we’re basically just in an open relationship, that’s the way I look at it anyways.” She shrugs. “We were up most of the night.” She yawns loudly.
“You could have stayed home.” Blair frowns as she keeps her eyes on the road.
“No, it’s okay, I wanted to go shopping with you.”
The girls make their way to a Victoria’s Secret, and start shopping around. Just as Riley hoped, there was an underwear sale. Blair indulged in it as well. Nothing wrong with getting some new undies to replace some old ones.
“Oh, these are cute!” Blair says, holding up a cheeky pair of panties.
“Yeah! I’ve been way more into the lace cheeky bottoms instead of thongs lately.”
“Me too! It’s way more comfortable. To be honest, I wear boxers a lot around my apartment. They’re more breathable than athletic shorts, and they don’t ride up.”
“Of course men have more comfortable underwear than us.” Riley sighs heavily. “Oh! Look at these white ones! Can never have too many white pairs.”
“Snag me a pair, please.”
Once the girls are done picking out their underwear, and a couple of bras that were two $50 (yes, way overpriced, but necessary), they head to the part of the store where the lingerie was.
“What are you looking for exactly?” Riley asks as she looks over some babydoll nighties.
“I don’t know, nothing crazy, but if things go well tonight, which I think they will, I wanna surprise him with something fun.”
“You’d really jump into bed with him right away?” There was no judgement in Riley’s voice, more so surprise.
“I mean…I know he’s your cousin and all, but he’s pretty hard to resist, Riles. He had me wrapped around his finger from the second we met.”
“Fair enough.” Riley shrugs. “I might try one of these on…surprise John one of these nights.”
The girls giggle as they pick out different things. Blair ends up finding a black lace bralette and matching panties that she thinks will work well under an outfit. The only thing was the bralette didn’t have any support, like, at all, but she was able to adjust the straps on it a bit to give her a slight lift.
“God, I wish I danced as a kid.” Blair huffs as she leaves the dressing room to meet Riley out at the register line.
“Why?”
“Because then maybe I wouldn’t have these fucking honkers on my chest. I’d love to be able to wear a bralette without worrying. My boobs are so saggy, I look like a granny when I don’t have the proper support.”
“You’re being dramatic.” Riley chuckles.
“Easy for you to say, Miss B Cup.”
“Hey, I’d kill to have boobs like yours. I always feel like mine are too small. I have to wear pushups all the time. Besides, your boobs are not saggy, they just sit a little lower on your chest.”
“When I really started dancing I thought they’d get smaller since I was working out all the time, but nope. The worst part is, it’s all right here.” She lifts her arm slightly and rubs just under her armpit. “I’m only a C, but I feel like a double D sometimes when I put a bra on, it takes all the side boob to the front.” Blair puts her things up on the counter, and Riley goes to the next register.
“Find everything okay?” The girl behind the register asks.
“Mhm.” Blair smiles. “I have some coupons too.” She takes her phone out so the girl can scan the barcodes on Blair’s screen.
“Oh, that’s a good one! Took off 25% of your total.” The girl puts everything into a bag for Blair, and she heads out with Riley.
“So, when will John get to see that babydoll?” Blair smirks at Riley.
“When I feel like he deserves it.” Riley grins. “If he invites me over tonight, I might bring it with me.”
“Do you usually see him two nights in a row?”
“Sometimes, but not often. I think he missed me a little since I was gone for so long. Kinda missed him too. He told me he’d call me later today.” She shrugs.
The girls grab a quick lunch before heading home. Blair didn’t want to eat anything too heavy since she was going to be eating out for dinner, so she just had a salad. She spent some time doing some social media work for her business, and then spent some time putting a new dance together. Her customers had been asking for some more throwbacks, so she was crafting some choreography to a couple of Ricky Martin songs. They could be used for the high intensity days. She always recorded herself so she could go back later to review the steps.
When she was done she was drenched in sweat, so she hops into the shower to freshen up. She sort of ends up pampering herself a bit. She shaved her legs, so she massaged some lotion into them, and used some cocoa butter on her thighs because she liked the way it smelled. After that, she grabbed her electric razor to trip her bikini line, having exfoliated first in the shower, so she was plenty smooth where she wanted to be. She spritzes some perfume into the air and walks through it, then she gets to work on her hair. She had been sporting a shoulder length look lately. Her hair used to be really long in college, but in recent years she had been keeping it a tad shorter. It was up in a braid or bun most days, but she decides to wear it down tonight. She puts on some makeup, and then goes through her closet to find something to wear over her new lingerie. She decides on a pair of black jeans that could easily be word with some booties. She pulls on a blush pink tank top and a tan cardigan to complete the look. You could just see the lace top of the bralette, and she sort of liked that look. Her phone goes off just as she’s putting some lipstick on.
“Hello?” She answers brightly.
“Hey, baby, I’m downstairs.”
“Okay, be down in a sec!” She throws some makeup remover wipes into her bag, and a spare toothbrush, then she heads out. Again, she didn’t quite know what would happen tonight, but she wanted to be prepared. Harry was standing outside his car. He smiles when he sees her.
“Hi.” He says, and opens the car door for her.
“Hi, thanks.” She smiles back and gets inside. They head towards Benson’s, being silent in the car at first. “How was your week?” She asks him.
“Good, had a pretty good workout Wednesday.” He grins, looking at her for a moment before looking back at the road. It makes Blair giggle. “Work wasn’t too stressful for a change, although I’m getting anxious about Kate going on maternity leave.”
“Is the intern no good?”
“No, she just doesn’t have a lot of experience. She’ll get the hang of it.” He shrugs. “How was your week, how are you feeling?”
“I’m okay. I spoke with my mom last night, she’s doing alright. My aunt’s been staying with her, so that’s good.”
“Do you think she’ll sell the house?”
“Nah, she likes where she lives, but I think she’s going to paint and change a few things so it doesn’t feel like such a ghost town, you know?”
“Makes sense.” Harry nods. “I know I’ve offered a ton, but if she needs any help with anything, don’t be afraid to ask. I can hold my own with a paintbrush.”
“Thank you, Harry, that’s very sweet.” She gives his shoulder a squeeze. “It was really nice having you in class Wednesday.” She says shyly.
“Yeah? Would you be opposed if I started coming regularly again?”
“Not at all, I’d really like it, actually.” She smiles. “It…it made it easier to wait to see you tonight.” She blushes, and he reaches for one of her hands. He brings it to his lips to kiss her knuckles.
“You’re cute.” He tells her, resting their hands on the console, not letting go at all.
They get to Benson’s, and get seated in a booth. Harry hesitates for a moment, desperately wanting to sit next to her, but he thinks that might be too much too soon, so he sits across from her. She gives him a funny look.
“What?” He asks.
“Nothing…you’re just far away. You usually sit next to me.”
“I didn’t know if you wanted me to.”
“I want you to.” Harry smiles, stands back up, and slides in next to her. She hooks her arms around his and rests her cheek on his shoulder. “Much better.” She sighs. He kisses the top of her head, and a waitress comes over.
“Evening, folks, are you expecting anyone else?” She asks.
“No, love, it’s just us.” Harry says to her, squinting at her nametag. “Becky, is it?”
“Y-yes.” She clears her throat. “Can I get you started with any drinks or appetizers?”
“Definitely two waters.” Blair begins. “And I’ll have a vodka-tonic, please.”
“I’ll have the same.” Harry says. “Do you want an app?” He asks Blair.
“No, I think just the burger will be good.”
“Right, think we’re ready to order dinner.” Harry says to Becky.
“Great! What can I get you?”
“I’ll have the turkey burger with cheddar cheese and sautéed mushrooms.” Blair says.
“And I’ll have veggie burger with avocado.” Harry says.
“Sounds good, I’ll be right back with your drinks.” Becky says, taking their menus before walking away.
“Just a veggie burger?” Blair asks Harry.
“Yeah, I’ve been craving a good one lately, and they make the best here.”
“Very true.” She nods. Becky comes back over with the drinks, and sets them on the table. “So…do anything fun last night?”
“I stayed in.” Harry says, before taking a sip of his drink. “Got caught up on a book I’ve been reading, watched a little TV, nothing special.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t go out with your friends. Isn’t Friday usually your guy’s night?”
“Yeah, I just felt like skipping last night.” He shrugs. “What about you, what did you do?”
“I ran errands all day, and then went to bed early so I could get up for my early classes this morning. Then Riley and I went shopping, and then I did some work at my place. Got ready to go out with you.” She shrugs.
“What does Riley have to say about all this?”
“She’s happy that we’re entertaining the idea of getting back together.” Blair chuckles and sips her drink. “Did you tell anyone we were going out tonight?”
“Mentioned it to my intern…and to John. He wasn’t so enthused.” Harry rolls his eyes.
“He’s never liked me, and I literally have no idea why.”
“Think he was just jealous that I snagged someone as gorgeous and bright as you.” Harry grins. “You know, when we first got together a ton of people gave me shit because you were still in school.”
“I was in my last semester, and I was twenty-one, it wasn’t like I was a child.” Blair scoffs.
“That’s what I said! It wasn’t like I was looking for someone younger than me, it just happened.”
“We just clicked right away, nothing wrong with that.” She inches a little closer to him, her ankle hooking around his under the table.
“Not at all.” His lips graze over hers, but their food is brought over to the table before they can really kiss.
They both giggle and dig into their food, each moaning out at the taste. They continue to talk about things, catching each other on the last year that they weren’t in one another’s lives. It felt easy and natural.
“I don’t wanna be too forward, but would you like to come back to mine when we’re done?” Harry asks.
“I’d like that.” She nods. “Got any sweets at home?”
“Mhm, I’ve got those chewy chocolate chip cookies you like so much.”
“This night just keeps getting better and better.” She smiles. When the check comes, they both reach for it.
“Blair, let go of the check.”
“No, I wanna pay for dinner.”
“I insist, let me pay.”
“Harry, I don’t want you always paying for everything, come on.”
“Fine, can we at least split it?”
“Ugh, fine.” She slaps her card down and so does he.
“So fucking irritating when you do that.” He huffs.
“No, what’s irritating is that you think I can’t pay for stuff.”
“That’s not what this is! I just like paying for our dates, it’s gentlemanly.”
“Yeah, well, it makes me feel like shit.” Becky comes to grabs the cards, and tells them she’ll be right back. “I’m doing well for myself now, I want things to be more equal. I’m not with you for your money.”
“I know you’re not, baby…I just…I can’t help that I wanna spoil you rotten.” He presses his forehead to hers, and she sighs before pecking his lips quickly.
“There are plenty of other ways you can do that, Harry.”
“Am I gonna have the chance?” Becky comes back with their cards, and they both sign their slips before sliding out of the booth. She takes his hand in hers as they walk out.
“Yes.” She says as they both get into the car. “I…I think wanna see where this goes with you, babe. I feel like I’m really ready for you now…”
“That means the world to me, Blair.” Her bottom lip starts to quiver, and he frowns. “Hey, why are you crying?” He reaches to caress her cheek.
“I just can’t believe you basically were waiting for me all this time.” She sniffles. “I feel so shitty. And I feel even shittier because I’m jealous of all the other people you slept with that we weren’t together.”
“Baby.” Harry sighs. “I was so in love with you, still am, none of them meant anything. I’m sorry you feel hurt by it. You don’t need to worry about it now, though, I’m all yours.” Her hand grips the collar of his shirt and she tugs him close to her, only a few centimeters apart.
“Mine.” She says, eyes darkening before her lips crash against his. She nips and sucks at his bottom lip as his hands cup her cheeks, trying to get even closer.
“Fuck.” He breathes, putting his keys in the ignition. “Need to get you home.” He pulls onto the street, and zips them home. His hand grips her thigh the entire time, squeezing it occasionally.
“Thought of you last weekend in the shower.” She says, shifting on her side a little. “Thought of the first time we had sex in the shower.” Her breath is on his ear now, and she nibbles on his lobe.
“Blair.” He warns, but she keeps going, kissing on his neck.
“Made me feel so good, always make me feel good.”
“Blair, I’m going to crash the car, just sit patiently, please.” She sits back normally in her seat. “Thank you.” He sighs. “So, you really thought of me?”
“It was hard not to with you leaving me breakfast.” She pouts at him. “So sweet of you, and I haven’t had a chance to even reward you for being so good to me.”
“You’re still into all that?” He asks cautiously.
“Only for you…do you still like it?”
“Only if it’s you. I told you I didn’t do that with anyone else.”
“You still trust me enough?”
“Course I do, baby.” He reaches for her hand to intertwine their fingers. He drives a little faster to his place, and they finally reach it. “Gonna take care of you first, and then you can do me, alright?”
“Whatever you want, babe.”
They get up to his place, somehow keeping their hands to themselves in the elevator. Before she knows it, Harry’s slamming Blair against the wall of his front hallway, attacking her neck with his lips.
“Gonna mark you up.” He says as he sucks on her skin. “Then everyone will know you’re taken again.”
She whimpers as her response, and pushes his head further into her neck. She wiggles out of her cardigan, and wraps her arms around his neck.
“Jump.” He grunts into her ear, and she does so, wrapping her legs around his waist so he can carry her to his bedroom. He sets her down on the bed, letting her get her shoes off. He does the same before kneeing onto the bed. She takes her tank top off, and his mouth waters at the sight of the bralette. “Christ.” He breathes as he gropes her supple breasts. “Missed these.” He sucks on her nipple through the lace, and her head rolls back. He does the same to the other one, getting it nice and pebbled. One of his hands slides down between her legs and he whimpers. “Need to get these off you, that okay?”
“Mhm, yeah, please.”
He undoes her button and zipper, yanking the jeans off of her. His eyes widen when he sees the matching panties.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Blair. Are these new?”
“Yeah, bought them today, just for you.” She props herself up on her elbows. “Wouldn’t mind you taking them off, though.”
Harry nearly growls as he tugs them down her legs. His hands slide up and down her smooth skin, having missed the feeling of her skin on his. He spreads her legs apart, and starts leaving open mouthed kisses on her inner thighs, sucking some nasty bruises into them. Blair clutches at his blankets and grits her teeth while he has his fun marking her up.
“Can I?” He asks, looking up at her. “Can I taste you?”
“Yes, of course you can.” She reaches forward to push his hair back, and he smiles at her before licking up her slit.
He licks and sucks all around her folds before working his tongue around her clit, sucking on it briefly before bringing his thumb to it. He licks into her center, making her mewl as he essentially just makes out sloppily with the area.
“Yes, fuck.” Her hands rake through his hair. “Feels so good, Harry.” She grinds against his face, and he moans against her. “Harry, fingers, please, use your fingers.” She whines.
He lifts his head from her, and reaches his hand up to her so she can suck on his fingers. She does so happily, and then he slips two fingers inside her. She gasps and lets her body go slack against the bed.
“Baby, shit, you’re so fucking tight, does it hurt?”
“No, feels so god, m’so wet.”
“I know, you’re dripping.” He pulls his fingers out and sucks on them, moaning again before slipping them back inside to the knuckle.
“R-right there.” She whimpers. Her mouth was open, body writhing under his, having not been touched by another man in almost a year, her body was reacting on overdrive. Her back was arching, and she was pushing her head further into the mattress. “Harry, Harry!” She screams as she comes around his fingers, and he fucks her through it, sucking on her clit to prolong it. As she starts to come down he sits up, and starts taking his shirt off. “Fuck, I’m gonna give it to you so good.” She sits up and watches he takes his clothes off. She takes her bralette off, and tosses it on the floor.
“How do you want me?”
“That depends…um…what would you like me to do? Like, how…how hard do you wanna go tonight?”
“I wanna be able to touch you since it’s been so long, and I wanna be able to look at you.”
“Alright, so we can just keep it sweet and easy, save the rest for another time.”
“Yeah…work back up to it.”
“Get on your back, m’gonna ride you.”
Harry gets himself situated, sitting up against the headboard. Blair raises an eyebrow at him.
“Just wanna be as close as possible tonight, baby.”
“Okay.” She smiles, and gets herself on his lap.
“Are you still on the pill?”
“Mhm, are you okay to not use a condom?”
“Definitely don’t want to. Need feel you.”
“Need to feel you too.”
She grips his hard cock, giving it a few pumps before she guides it inside herself. Her mouth falls open as she feels him stretch her out. Harry looks down and watches as she swallows him whole. They both moan out once he’s full inside her. Her fingernails dig into his shoulders as she gets adjusted to him. His hands squeeze at her hips and ass.
“Shit, Harry.” She presses her forehead to his. “Missed you so much.”
“Missed you too.” He cups her cheeks and kisses her as she starts to slowly rock on and off him. His tongue slips into her mouth, and she grips at his back as she kisses him back. “You feel so fucking good.” He says before biting her bottom lip, sucking on it.
She whimpers and moves herself a little faster on him. She grinds herself against him, feeling the friction on her clit start to form. His arms wrap around her back, his fingers digging into her skin.
“Move with me.” She says into his ear before nibbling on it.
He groans as he starts to thrust up into her. She starts to bounce up and down him, moving his hands to her hips. He watches as her breasts bounce in front of his face, and he leans in to kiss and suck on them. Her head rolls back with pleasure. She wanted to feel his tongue all over her. She brings two fingers to his mouth, and he takes them in quickly. He looks up at her as he sucks on them, swirling his tongue around them, and nipping at the pads of them. She takes them away to rub at her clit.
He growls, and moves to pin her on her back, surprising her completely. He was never like this in bed with her. She looks up at him with wide eyes as he throws one of her legs over his shoulder, and replaces her fingers with his own. She groans at his touch. He was driving himself in so much deeper and she could barely handle it.
“Okay?” He asks her, panting slightly.
“Mhm, it’s good, so good.” One of her hands goes to the back of his neck, pulling him down for a sloppy kiss. They breathe each other in and out once they both start panting. “Harry, fuck, I’m so close.” She squeezes around him and he bites down on her shoulder.
“Blair.” He moans into her ear. “Can I come inside you?”
“Yes! Fuck, yes, please!” She screams as she’s coming again, feeling even more turned on when she feels Harry’s hot come start to fill her up. She grinds her hips towards his trying to make her orgasm last as long as possible. “Love it when you fill me up, feels so good.” She says as she continues to squeeze around him.
He slots his mouth over hers as they both start to come down. Their tongues mold together as they kiss lazily. He’s slow to pull out, but he was too sensitive to stay inside her any longer. She squeezes her legs closed to try to not make a mess. Harry scoops Blair up quickly bridal style to carry her to the bathroom, setting her down gently on the toilet, and leaving her to do her business. When she walks out of the bathroom, he’s laying on his bed in a fresh pair of boxers with a dreamy smile on his face. She climbs onto the bed and lays in between his legs, resting her head on his tummy. She buries her face into his soft skin while he starts to card through her mussed up hair.
“So…we’re really back together?” He asks after a few moment of peaceful silence. She looks up at him with a smile on her face.
“Yeah, I really wanna be your girlfriend again.”
“You have no idea how happy I feel right now.” He continues to play with her hair as she sets her head back down.
“You’ve never really taken control like that before…I kinda liked it.” She peers up at him again, grinning. “Maybe I should see what being the sub feels like sometime.”
“Oh, baby, I don’t know if I could switch like that. Don’t think I’d get much pleasure in making you wait for things. Think I’d give in the second you asked for something.” He chuckles.
“You’re so cute, Harry, but I understand what you’re saying. I don’t mind being the one to do that stuff when you really need it, babe.” She moves further up his body so she can be closer to his face. “Do you think in a bit when you’re ready to go again we could…bring out some of your ties?”
“Feel like I’m already bloating back up, fuck.” He groans, and kisses her.
“You know what I’ve really missed doing with you?” She says, moving her lips to the shell of his ear.
“What, baby?”
“Fucking that tight hole of yours.” She says lowly, and he whimpers.
“Yes.” He breathes, and she looks at him. “Still have everything, it just hasn’t been used in a while.”
“Would you really wanna get into all of that tonight? I mean, I’m game if you are…you seemed hesitant before.”
“I just wanted to feel really close with you before, but now that we’ve got that out of our system I’m definitely up for it.” He pecks her lips. “We’ve got the rest of the weekend to do all we want.”
“Mmm, and the weekend after that, and the weekend after that, and maybe sometimes during the middle of the week. Oh! Remember when I used to come to your office at work, and I’d let you bend me over your desk, god, that was always so hot.”
“Or that time we screwed in that bathroom at your studio?” His smile was incredibly mischievous.
“Or the times you sit me up on the counter in your kitchen and fuck me?”
“Or the time you bent me over my own desk her here?”
“I think it’s time we make some new memories.” She says, getting off of him, and extending her hand out to him for him to follow.
“Couldn’t agree with you more.”
Blair leads them inside Harry’s walk in closet where he kept his box of toys. It was still in the same spot as always. She pops the lid off and they both smile at each other.
“How long do you think I could edge you for?” She asks him.
“Um, I should be okay to go for a while since I already came.”
“Excellent.” She picks up a cock ring, the kind that vibrates. “We’ve got a lot of time to make up for.”
#harry styles#When the Time is Right#harry styles imagine#harry styles one shot#harry styles fic#harry styles fanfic#harry styles au#harry styles x oc#harry styles smut#harry styles fluff#harry styles angst#sub!harry#attorney!harry
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Fanfic: Loki x Sylvie Oneshot (Hurt/Comfort, Rated: teen, no adult content. Set before, during and after that scene in 1 x 05)
She should be inside, talking to the other Lokis, learning more about this place and its dangers, and strategically planning their next move. Instead, she is out here in the open, staring into the abyss, like she has been almost her entire life. She has lived in apocalypses, watching the colors of the sky change as people merrily went on with their lives, completely unaware of how fleeting it all is. Yet, in the middle of all that death and destruction, there she always has been, the epitome of survival.
[[MORE]]
This “Void” is no different. This is another place where death and destruction reigns but she remains standing at the end of the day. The sky is blue, but far away, where it meets this foresaken land, is a menacing shade of purple, resembling the one in Lamentis-1. It brings back memories of that night.
As if on cue, Loki comes and sits down beside her. For a man who never shuts up, he’s unusually quiet. She wonders what he might be thinking about. Their impending battle, his future plans, the TVA, Asgard, Thor…
Or whatever it is that he was about to tell her before he got pruned.
—
It’s not the best time to talk when you’re driving a shoddy car away from the mouth of a hungry demon cloud, but that won’t stop him.
“Hell of a Nexus event you caused there,” Mobius comments.
Sylvie’s heart skips a beat. “You know what my Nexus event was? You know why I was taken from Asgard?”
Mobius winces internally. “Oh, that. Sorry. I am in the dark, just like you. I don’t even know what my nexus event was.” His heart breaks at the thought of what home might be like. Does he have a family? Kids? What did he leave behind?
The car hits debris on the road, and they both bump their heads on the hood of the vehicle. “I’m talking about the Nexus event at Lamentis-1”, he clarifies.
“Yeah, about that. How did you know where to show up? What was the Nexus event?”
Mobius smiles. This one is just as clueless as the other one. And even though he has been hunting her for as long as he can remember, he can’t bring himself to voice it quiet as harshly this time. “Well, you and Loki had a connection back there. That’s what sent the timelines into a dizzy. Two Lokis falling in love.”
She feels the air leave her lungs. “I’m sorry, did you just say, love?”
He doesn’t answer, and in the silence, punctuated by the creature’s evil roar, she realises she’s been so focused on what was happening- the running, the fighting, the revelations, the pruning- that she never really stopped to think about how it made her feel.
That’s how it’s always been. That’s how it always has to be when you’re on the run through space and time.
And though she is still being chased at this very moment, she can’t help but contemplate this time. How does she feel?
Now that she thinks about it, deep down, she knows, no matter how many times she tells herself she is only doing this to find who is behind the curtains and get her life back, she would have gone about it in a completely different way, like she always has- hiding, fighting, planning and executing. There is only one reason why she would ever stab herself with a pruning stick.
(Love is a dagger, after all. A glowing, pruning one.)
—
“Mobius is not so bad.” She begins, and it doesn’t take them too long to completely deny their feelings for the other as well as promise their undying loyalty and pledge to be at each other’s side when all this is over.
She snuggles closer to Loki. “Loki?”
“Hmm?”
“If this is not a table cloth, then it’s surely a cape, right?”
He laughs, and it does something to her stomach that she still has to find a name for. “I’ve been meaning to ask you. Why did you ditch your hood?”
She shrugs. A whole life spent in the shadows, away from the spotlight, against the very basic instinct of a Loki. And now? “I’m tired of hiding, I guess.” Her voice is resolute, and her eyes shine with glorious purpose. “I want to be seen.”
“I see you,” he says softly. “I’d like to see more of you.”
She looks up at him with a curious smirk.
“That’s not what-” He’s visibly flustered, and it’s so much fun to make him squirm like this. “It’s not how it sounds. What I meant to say is, I’d like to see you again, when all of this is over.”
She smiles. Didn’t he say this already, when she was scared that he would leave her when all this is over?
Is he just as scared of her leaving him when all of this is over?
“I don’t know”, she bumps her shoulder against his playfully. “Do I want to torture myself so much?”
He feigns offense. “I will have you know, kings and presidents and Gods have begged- begged just to be granted an audience with me. You don’t know how lucky you are.”
“Lucky me”, she says only half- sarcastically. “Stuck here with you under the same-”, she tilts her head to indicate the green material that is currently shielding two frost giants from the cold, the ridiculousness of this not lost on her, “-blanket.”
“Lucky you,” he repeats unironically, and his hand finds its way to hers, their fingers intertwining.
He’s held hands before. He’s had women snuggle up to him too. But not like this. Not anyone who matters. Not anyone whose eyes sing “Come home”.
He places a soft kiss on her hair, the lips that have uttered a thousand lies now focused on the one truth.
She feels her whole body burn.
She’s seen a thousand worlds die before her own eyes, always escaping before the blistering heat found its way to her, never having the ability to save even a single life, knowing it’ll cause a Nexus event and she would be discovered. She’s witnessed so many people’s death- people who gave her food, shelter, clothing, shared a laugh or two with the orphan child from Asgard- the poor, lost, scared, little Sylvie.
Now she’s here, and she’s not completely certain that she’s not going to die.
Yet, this is the most alive that she has ever felt.
Her grip on his hand tightens, and he squeezes in return. Mobius would have a field day if he was to walk out and see them like this now.
“Loki, if I don’t make it-” she begins.
He cuts her off firmly. “Don’t.” The thought of losing her has been on his mind since the moment he got pruned, and he doesn’t think he can handle the thought of losing her again.
“How did you feel when you got pruned before you could tell me what it was you wanted to tell me?”
He takes a moment to gather his thoughts. He knows what he wanted to say, but he doesn’t know yet what it was he was going to say. The words were about to roll off his tongue, and then it was gone. All hope, all possibilities of a future, snatched away in just a moment. “I felt distraught.” He confesses honestly.
“Exactly.” She sits up now, facing him directly, crawling out from under the blanket, but never letting go out of his hand. “If I don’t make it, I’ll feel the same way.”
His face clouds with hope and confusion at the same time. “What are you saying?”
She’s not sure. She’s learnt at least thirty-four different languages from her life in apocalyptic worlds, yet, no language has the words to capture quite how she feels.
“Sylvie?” He prompts again, daunted by the silence.
“Loki.” She says his name. Because that’s all there is. The one word. This is about him. Maybe it always has been, maybe all those poets and musicians and dreamers are right and your whole life does lead up to something.
Maybe her whole miserable, horrible, terrible life has been leading up to this.
This moment when she closes the gap between their lips.
Her eyes are wide open, just like his, and they are staring at each other, waiting to see how the other reacts.
Maybe this was a mistake, she thinks, but his lips press harder against hers.
It’s still just a tender, sweet peck, and their eyes are still open, but his hands give hers another squeeze. He pulls back and leans his forehead against her, making their noses brush.
And then his lips find hers with a fever that mirrors her own, and their eyes flutter shut.
She’s lived in apocalypses. She knows that worlds are dying at this very moment. And at the same moment, other worlds are being born out of this, this dance between their lips- a Nexus event that is creating new timelines, new life.
(Love is a dagger, indeed. And you can see yourself in it, after all. But when you reach for it, it doesn’t always disappear. Sometimes, it’s so very real.)
#sylvie x loki#sylvie laufeydottir#loki disney+#loki x sylvie#fanfiction#loki fanfic#loki#sylki fanfic
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Is it wrong to lie to children?
A personal essay on reconciling with a shitty childhood and the question: is it wrong to lie to children?
It’s perplexing to have a shitty “unorthodox” childhood because initially I tried to throw out everything about It. Toss out the plumping and the rafters and the roofing, dispense of every single part of my upbringing I could get my hands on and not look back. Naturally, this approach didn’t work. It wasn’t even a real possibility. You’re still haunted by it, a ghost in the bones of a house, a foundation that remains long after the builders have left. That’s part of recovery too, to look at that ghost, to look at those bones, and keep saying: I see you, I see. I let you in. You sit with it and accept, accept, accept.
The really terrible part of this, the part where I don’t throw away the baby with the bathwater, is that you then have to raise the thing, deal with it. You have to do the hard work of parsing through the endless bits of self and placing them in “keep” piles and “discard” piles. I want to keep my mother’s kindness. I want to keep my father’s sense of humor. I want to discard the isolation. I want to discard the delusions.
But then there are these weird . . . “I don’t know” things. The things I am unsure if they helped me or hurt me. As I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten more and more of those “I don’t know” categories piling up. I’ve worked my way through most of the more obvious ones and now it’s all grey and mushy and as cloudy as a London winter. Recently, more than anything, I’ve been grappling with the fact my mother believed it was wrong to lie to children. She believed, in her flower-child way, that it was unethical in all forms.
I never believed in Santa Claus. I’m sorry to say I was a pretty obnoxious kid too because I would preach on the playground about how there was no Santa and there had never been any Santa. Which was a bit harsh, but in my defense I was under the impression these people were suffering from some sort of collective mass delusion. They were being lied to. And lying was wrong.
Is it wrong to lie to children?
I’ve known about sex since I was around 5 years old. I don’t remember why I asked, but it was something about where babies come from and so on. Most parents talk about a stork or love or some other abstract side-step. My mother described the anatomy to me and showed me a scientific diagram of the process. She told me that a sperm meets an egg and fertilizes it so the baby can grow. I learned most of this in scientific terms and was surprised when none of my middle school friends knew how a penis worked.
Is it wrong to lie to children?
When I was 9 or so our cat was eaten by a coyote. I asked my mom where he went and she said that he accidently got out the night before. She said they looked for him all morning, but it was too late. She didn’t use the word “gone” or “passed on” or “he’s in a better place now.”
She said he was dead. I said oh. She asked if I wanted to see him. I said yes. For the record, I am not actually sure if 9 year-olds should see corpses. That is neither here nor there. It was something that stuck with me though, the body of my cat with his tummy ripped out. I had never seen intestines before. His eyes were open.
But there was something cathartic about digging the grave. About helping pick up his little stiff body by the feet and placing him inside. There was something about piling on the red dirt as the sun set and letting the tears fall.
People on sitcoms hate talking about death. It’s understandable, it’s not funny, it makes for good dramatic irony when the kid asks “Where’s Socks?” and the parents go “Uuuuuh. He ran away.” I’ve never felt more alienated at those points. My cat died. He was eaten. I saw his body, and I buried it. Sometimes I think I wouldn’t want to be told he ran away-- that he had a choice in whether or not he left me.
Is it wrong to lie to children?
For a long time I thought the entirety of my childhood was wrong and bad, because I was miserable and broken at the end of it. I will assure you, my parents fucked up time and time again. But sometimes I have to stop and keep asking: Was this the wrong part? Was this the part where they fucked up? Was any part of this valuable? It’s a hard process to comb through an entire life and decide which bits are worth keeping, and if there are any silver linings.
So here is one: I am an honest person. I am a crooked person too, unsure of where to place my feet in social situations, picking my way through others normalcy. I do not readily share information, I am not forthcoming, and it’s a slow burn for me to open up about anything.
However, I notice time and time again that strangers will share personal things with me. I don’t mean for it to happen, but there’s just this pattern in my life. I once went on a car ride with a girl I barely know from my debate team. She described how she wanted to lose her virginity, she wanted it, but was scared God would be angry. That she’d be dirty afterwards. I told her that that was impossible, sex was just an act, it had no eyes, it had no priestly robes, or bearing on her soul. She cried. She said she hadn’t told me anyone this before.
I had a friend in high school who was struggling with an eating disorder, people had tried to get her to talk about it before, but I was the first person she admitted it to. In the hallway, sitting, just discussing nothing, and out it comes: I’m scared to eat sometimes. I was on a city bus and an old woman struck up a conversation with me. Over an hour or so, and she ended up telling me her fears for her own daughter going away to college. Her fear of growing old and passing on. Her problems with sleeping as she lay awake and dreaded it.
People have told me about their problems with substance abuse, their struggles with sexuality, and childhood trauma. People spill to me and I sit there thinking: Why? Sometimes I think it’s my gender or just how people are, but it always feels like I’m missing some part of the picture. Why do people open up to me, unprompted, all at once? Why me?
Is it wrong to lie to children?
Recently, I was reading a memoir set in 2001 where two young kids ask the narrator, their mother, about 9/11. They asked what happened to the people on television who were jumping off the building. Where did they go? The mother says this: They were caught. There are people-catchers that flew and saved them. Everyone is okay.
This story was meant to be heartfelt and lyrical, relatable. It ended like this: It is the job of mothers to offer gentle lies.
I had to stop reading because I was suddenly lost in a white-hot rage, unexpected, knee-jerk. How could she do that? I found myself frothing. They trusted her with answers and she lied. How could she? I knew it was irrational. It was silly even. This was a sweet story. It was meant to be heart-warming and framed in a way that suggested this is what all mothers do. This was what they needed to do.
I felt my own mother, pumping through my veins, furious that these elementary school students were being betrayed. I stopped myself of course, I knew it wasn’t reasonable. I wasn’t raised “correctly.” I had no legs to stand on.
But still, is it alright to lie to children?
I am once again faced with that unending dilemma: how to throw-out those parts of myself that don’t work and keep the ones that do. It’s difficult to say, because in some ways I agree with my mom. How can I not? But death is cruel. Sex is weird. Santa Claus is a beautiful lie.
And what’s wrong with lying? I still don’t know. What’s wrong with letting them never hurt? Never knowing the pain or gross parts of the world? What’s the harm in letting them make-believe?
But sometimes I think about all those people who have cried to me. All these unprompted confessions come with an unspoken plea: I hurt. I am afraid. I am so scared. It’s all so heavy, these painful truths.
And some part of me stands there, the part my mother raised and says: there is nothing in this life that is too shameful. There is nothing in this world that is unnatural. There is nothing in this life to lie about, even to children.
Is death too painful? Is sex too gross? Would you tell an adult that a man lives in the North Pole and watches them?
I asked my mom, years later, when I was less furious and able to talk with her again without screaming, about why she believed all this. She had told me about it since I was very young, but I never asked why. She shrugged. She said: children are people, aren’t they?
I still don’t know what to do with this.
Children are people, but they are not adults. They shouldn’t be exposed to “adult” things, right? But is that line so concrete? Is the word “adult” just a mask for the greater word, the one we really mean? We all agree: honesty is good. Lying hurts. But it’s alright to lie to kids, because in many ways they aren’t people yet, they aren’t people yet, they don’t count.
I am admittedly an argumentative person. I was on the debate team, mock trial, United Nations, I studied political science in college and fought with every single one of my professors I thought was wrong. And I stood in that playground, age 6, and told every single one of my classmates Santa wasn’t real and I wouldn’t stop. The truth was important. And my mother, no matter what, thought I disserved it.
I often felt tiny and powerless as a kid. Terrified and holding myself together by shoestrings. I often felt there would be nothing better in the world than to be grown up. Not for the money or the dating or the job, I just wanted to feel like the hurricane would end. That one day I could stand on solid ground again. My friend often says: I wish I could be a kid again, ya know? No responsibilities. Just bliss. I want to be a kid again.
I can’t relate. I never have. I’ve been busy weeding through the pipes and lighting and the carpentry of my upbringing and asking myself: is any of this worth keeping? Is any part of me built correctly? There are no right answers.
But still, I am haunted. I sit and ask myself in circles: is it alright to lie to children?
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Just a Twinge
Read on AO3
In which Annabeth finally gets that ankle injury checked out, Will and Nico are a kind-of couple, and Percy Jackson is a protective dork.
“I do not need a cast.”
“You definitely need a cast,” Will said, handing her the x-ray film he had been studying seconds earlier. He at least had the decency to sound apologetic.
“This looks fine,” Annabeth said, despite the fact that she had no idea how to read an x-ray film, or what she should even be looking for.
“Look,” Will pointed to a small shadow on the film that Annabeth hadn’t even noticed, “That’s a fracture. It looks like it healed most of the way and then re-broke.”
“And it’s still broken?”
“Looks like it.”
“But how can I be walking on it if it's still broken?” Annabeth asked, crossing her arms over her chest. It was a useless, stubborn gesture, but it made her feel better anyways.
Will gave her a look, one that was far too long-suffering for a fifteen year old’s face.
“Does it hurt when you step on it?” he asked dryly.
“Your bedside manner is terrible,” Annabeth deflected. Will rolled his eyes, but unfortunately did not rise to the bait.
“Answer the question Annabeth.”
Annabeth glared at her ankle, her stupid, traitorous ankle, that had caused nothing but trouble since she broke it in Arachne’s lair. She knew Will was wrong; it hadn’t re-broken, not in the sense of the bone physically snapping again. No, Tartarus had re-injured her, unknit the fragile regrowth that had been keeping her ankle together, and had never let it heal properly again. She’d taken plenty of ambrosia and nectar in the meantime, but her ankle remained stubbornly messed up.
So yeah, it hurt. Most of the time it was fine, just a twinge, and she could deal with a twinge. She’d had a lot worse than a twinge.
And, okay, sometimes when she got stressed it was worse than a twinge. Sometimes it would turn into a limp, which was admittedly pretty bad. And maybe Percy had been bugging her to get it checked out for two weeks now, and she had been ignoring him because it was fine. Or it had been fine until last night during capture the flag, when it had switched to a limp right in the middle of the game and had neglected to ever switch back to a twinge.
Which is how she had ended up in the infirmary being stared down by a usually very chipper son of Apollo, who did not look very chipper now.
Will took Annabeth’s silence as an admission of guilt, which of course it was, but he didn’t need to sigh so loudly about it.
“You’re lucky you’ve been able to walk on it as long as you have, but you should’ve stopped putting pressure on it a month ago.”
Annabeth opened her mouth to protest, but Will continued before she could get a word out.
“I know it wasn’t possible at the time. But if you keep going how you’re going, you could permanently mess up your ankle.”
Annabeth didn’t have a good response for that. She had known in the back of her mind that this was probably what Will was going to tell her, and that was why she had waited so long to get it checked out in the first place.
“How long do I have to wear the cast?” she asked in defeat. Will gave her a pitying look that did not make her hopeful for his answer.
“Six weeks, probably.”
“Six weeks?”
Will winced.
“You might be able to switch to a boot the last two, but it depends how healed it is.”
“But—” Annabeth started, then faltered. She and Percy were supposed to start school in a month. How was she supposed to go into a new school with a cast? That was like the most embarrassing, cliche crap ever.
And it was embarrassing that she was even embarrassed about it. She’d faced monsters and titans and giants and literally the pits of hell. A little cast wasn’t going to kill her, but for some reason it still felt like the end of the world.
Will was still looking at her expectantly, waiting for the end of her sentence.
“This sucks,” she said. Will cracked a sympathetic smile, which might have felt mean if anyone else were doing it, but Will was borderline incapable of genuine meanness.
“Yeah, it does,” he agreed.
“When do I have to get it on?” Annabeth basically already knew the answer, but she hoped somehow that she was wrong. Will gave her another sympathetic look.
“The sooner you put it on, the sooner you get to take it off,” Will said, which was as good an answer as if he’d simply said it outright.
“So right now?” Annabeth asked, stomach sinking. Will winced again.
“Yeah. Sorry.”
“This sucks,” Annabeth repeated, because it deserved to be repeated.
“Do you want someone to go get Percy?” Will asked. That should have been an embarrassing question, more embarrassing than the cast, but Annabeth didn’t even have to think about it.
“Yes please.” she sighed.
Will pulled back the curtain around the bed Annabeth was situated on.
“Hey Nico!” he called.
Annabeth hadn’t even noticed, or maybe he hadn’t been there when she came in, but Nico was in the room, curled up like a cat, sleeping. There were plenty of open beds he could have taken, but for some reason he’s chosen a stiff plastic chair to take his nap on.
“Nico!” Will called again, but Nico did not stir. Will took a roll of soft medical tape from the table beside him and threw it with impeccable aim, nailing Nico right in the shoulder.
“Ow,” Nico said, voice muffled, and sounding more confused than hurt. He sat up, rubbing his head groggily. “What was that for?”
“Go get Percy,” Will ordered.
“Why?” Nico asked. Then he spotted Annabeth, and recognition spilled over his features.
“Oh. Hey, Annabeth.”
“Hey.”
“Ankle?”
Annabeth grimaced. Maybe it was just that Nico’s proclivity for sensing death also extended to sensing injuries, or maybe she’d done a worse job hiding it than she thought.
“Yeah,” she admitted.
Nico yawned, wide and long, stretching his arms. Annabeth was once again reminded of a housecat.
“Okay, fine. Be right back,” Nico said.
He was gone in a flash. When Annabeth glanced over at Will, he was staring out the door Nico had disappeared out of with a sort of dopey grin on his face.
“Are you two dating yet?” Annabeth asked, snapping Will back to reality. He blinked, face completely blank.
“What?”
“You and Nico. Are you official?”
Everyone had sort of suspected, what with Nico trailing behind Will like a shadow the past few weeks. But better to ask than say something potentially embarrassing in front of Nico. The last thing Annabeth wanted to do was scare him off again.
“Uhh,” Will rubbed the back of his head nervously, his face going slightly red, “I think so?”
“You think so? What the hell does that mean?” Annabeth said, though she was grinning.
“You and Percy got to pine over each other for four years before you did something about it, can’t I get two weeks of peace?” Will groaned, plopping down on the rolling chair beside Annabeth’s bed.
“Yeah, but that was different,” Annabeth protested, “There was the prophecy and the war and all that.”
“A convenient excuse,” Will said. He had rolled over to the cabinet, and was starting to pull supplies out.
“It’s a great excuse, actually, but that’s beside the point,” Annabeth said, waving her hand dismissively.
“Sure. Great.”
“Whatever. We’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you.”
Will took a deep breath, then let it out noisily.
“I’m pretty sure we’re dating. Is that good enough for you?”
Annabeth did have the opportunity to answer whether or not this was good enough for her, because in the next moment the door opened again, and Percy burst through, Nico nowhere in sight.
“Are you okay?” he asked breathlessly, his eyes already trained on her from across the room.
“Just my ankle,” Annabeth said. It was really, truly inconvenient how even a look from Percy could make her heart do jumping-jacks, even now. And the look he was giving her now was very concerned in a way that was very unfairly hot. “I was being a baby so Will sent Nico for you.”
“Oh.” He sighed, relief washing over his worried expression.
Nico lurched through the door a second later, breathing heavily.
“You dumbass,” Nico panted, “If you had waited two seconds I could have told you it was nothing.”
“Did you run all the way here?” Will asked Percy, clearly amused and hiding it badly.
Percy shrugged, unembarrassed, which was also very hot, especially since he was still looking at Annabeth.
“Yeah,” he admitted easily.
“Dumbass,” Nico repeated, collapsing into his nap chair from earlier.
“Probably,” Percy agreed, pulling a chair up beside Annabeth’s bed.
“I swear, he heard ‘Annabeth’ and ‘infirmary’ and his eyes glazed over,” Nico said, glaring at Percy, though he seemed more bemused than angry.
“It might’ve been serious!” Percy protested.
“I would’ve led with that,” Nico said, exasperated, “You get I would have led with that, right?”
“You could have led with the ankle,” Percy pointed out, and Nico rolled his eyes so hard his irises disappeared for a second.
“Whatever. I’m getting food,” Nico said, standing up, stretching again.
“Bring me a snack?” Will asked hopefully.
“Ugh. Fine. Parasite,” Nico said. He was clearly doing his best to sound annoyed, and failing at it miserably.
“Thank you!” Will called in a singsong-y voice as Nico left. Nico flipped him off in response, disappearing through the door.
“Are you guys dating yet?” Percy asked, as soon as Nico was gone.
Will groaned, covering his face with his hands.
“I am not doing this again.”
“He thinks so, but isn’t totally sure,” Annabeth supplied.
“Mm. Tricky,” Percy grinned at Annabeth as he slipped his hand into hers.
“You guys suck,” Will complained.
“He’s bringing you a snack, though. That’s cute,” Annabeth said, grinning back at Percy. After all the years the other campers had teased them about not being together when they should’ve been, she figured a little payback couldn’t hurt.
“Definitely dating behavior,” Percy agreed.
“You two are the last people on Earth I am taking relationship advice from,” Will said, “I shouldn’t have let Percy in here.”
“But you did, so,” Percy said cheerfully.
“I can still kick you out,” Will threatened.
“You won’t though,” Annabeth said, squeezing Percy’s hand a little tighter, just in case. Will sighed dramatically.
“No, I won’t,” he said.
“So, what exactly is wrong with your ankle?” Percy asked. His conspiratorial grin had been replaced with a slight frown.
“It’s broken,” Will said, quick and blunt, presumably in an attempt to prevent Annabeth from sugar-coating it.
“You said fractured,” Annabeth protested. She was fully aware she was acting like a child right now, but she didn’t care.
“Yeah, that’s what fractured means. Broken,” Will said, clearly unwilling to indulge her.
Percy’s frown deepened.
“Do you need a cast?”
“Yes,” Will said, before Annabeth could answer.
“Go ahead,” Annabeth said, turning to Percy, “You can say it.”
“I’m not gonna say it,” Percy said innocently, though his lips were twitching.
“Just get it over with now, while I’m already humiliated,” Annabeth sighed.
“I don’t need to.”
“I know you want to say it, Percy. Just say it.”
“Say what?” Will asked.
“Told you so,” Annabeth and Percy said, in unison.
Will stared at them for a second. Then he said,
“You guys are weird.”
“I’ve been telling her to get it checked out for weeks,” Percy explained. Will raised his eyebrows.
“Should’ve listened to your boyfriend Chase, you might’ve shaved a week or two off the cast.”
“Told you so,” Percy said, unable to help himself.
“Shut up,” Annabeth grumbled.
Getting the actual cast on wasn’t as bad as Annabeth expected. It hurt like a bitch when Will straightened her ankle out so it wouldn’t heal crooked, but she had Percy’s fingers to squeeze through it all, which helped. The cast itself was itchy and miserable, but she had expected that.
“All done,” Will said, securing the last bit of fiberglass binding around her ankle. It was dark blue, because they hadn’t had black, and Annabeth figured it would look the least dirty over time. Also, she had a feeling Percy was going to want to doodle on it, and the darker the color the less likely it was anyone was going to notice whatever sharpie drawings he put on there.
“That wasn’t so bad,” Percy said, letting go of her hand for a second to massage the fingers she’d crushed. Annabeth sat up, swinging her legs around so they hung over the side of the bed.
“Yeah, but now I have to live with it,” Annabeth said glumly.
“You’ll get used to it,” Will promised.
Annabeth sighed. She had really put Will though it, for no other reason than she felt like being whiny. He was too nice for his own good.
“Thank you. For the cast, and for putting up with me today,” Annabeth said. Will shrugged, though he was smiling.
“Believe it or not, you weren’t the most hostile patient I’ve had this week. Also—” he turned around, digging around in the closet behind him. When he came back, he was holding crutches.
“Here’s your crutches,” Will said. Annabeth groaned.
“This sucks,” she said, for the third time that day.
“Sorry babe,” Percy said sympathetically.
Then his eyes narrowed, and he ducked down, pushing Annabeth’s shoulders down with him. Before she could even ask why, something whizzed over her head and smacked Will right in the chest.
“Ow!” Will exclaimed. He reflexively caught the projectile before it fell to the floor. It was a pack of crackers.
“Your snack,” Nico said, looking quite smug at having gotten Will back for nailing him with the medical tape earlier.
“Ooh, peanut butter,” Will ripped open the packaging, popping one of the crackers in his mouth.
“Wanna try out those crutches?” Percy asked, offering his hand to help Annabeth up. Annabeth did not want to try out her crutches, but she knew Percy had only said it as an excuse to get them out of the room, so Nico and Will could be alone. She sighed, relenting, and took his hand.
The crutches were harder to maneuver than she expected them to be. They also tired her arms out faster than she expected, so much that they barely made it to the porch of the big house before she had to take a break.
They sat down on the steps, which took a bit more effort than it should have, but Annabeth was still getting used to the bulkiness around her foot. Percy put his arm around her, and she leaned into his shoulder, sighing. She wished she could just stay there forever, and not have to deal with stupid crutches or stupid school or stupid anything else.
“You’re very grumpy today,” Percy noted. Annabeth just tucked herself deeper into his embrace.
“I have a right to be,” she said, voice slightly muffled by his shoulder. She felt his laughter in his chest, a nice steady vibration.
“I don’t mind. You’re cute when you’re grumpy,” Percy said, kissing her forehead for good measure.
“That’s mean,” Annabeth had to fight to keep a smile off her face.
“It’s true. I mean, you’re cute all the time, so I guess it’s nothing new,”
“All the time?” Annabeth challenged.
“All the time,” Percy confirmed.
“Even when I haven’t brushed my hair in three days because I forgot?”
“Even then,”
“Even when I’m snippy?”
“Yup,”
“Even when I’m pissed at you?”
“Ugh, you got me,” Percy said, with an exaggerated look of defeat, “You being pissed at me is more hot than cute.”
Annabeth couldn’t help but laugh at the goofy expression on his face.
“Sorry I’m in such a bad mood,” Annabeth sighed, when their laughter had diminished. Percy just shrugged.
“It’s alright. You earned it,” he said, nodding to her cast. Annabeth looked down at it glumly.
“It’s still going to be on when we start school,” Annabeth sighed.
“That’s okay. I’ll carry your books for you,” Percy promised.
“What if a monster attacks us? I’ll be useless.”
“They’ve probably learned by now to steer clear of us,” Percy said, “And even if they somehow haven’t, a stupid cast isn’t going to make you useless. You could get a really good whack in with those crutches.”
That made Annabeth laugh again, and somehow, miraculously, when she stopped her face didn’t automatically slide back into a frown. It was hard for her to stay gloomy around Percy when he was intentionally trying to cheer her up.
She pulled herself back a little, so she could see his face properly. He looked back at her, a little smile still playing at the corner of his lips.
“I love you,” Annabeth said. His little smile grew into a full-blown grin.
“I love you too.”
#percabeth#solangelo#percabeth fic#PJO fic#hoo fic#percy x annabeth#will x nico#nico x will#annabeth x percy#percabeth oneshot#percabeth fluff#my fic#the great ao3 crossposting exercise#this is my one and only attempt at writing solangelo because i suck at male POVs lol#heroes of olympus
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ok ig cashier damian is my latest hyper fixiation, so let’s add
• Ight so, on fridays, jon cannot come in all the time, very rarely can he. and when he does. he sees a very cute sleepy damian who also wants to punch him:)
• damian is just a mess. he didn’t have time to fix his appearance because as soon as he got out of school, he had to change in a shitty unsanitary grocery store bathroom.
• it was not fucking fun. it never is. damian is so over it. jon normally sees Damian working on homework quickly before putting it away when Jon or other customers show
• damian cannot be asked to look like a normal human being when he just finished 7 sad hours of school in ANOTHER shitty uniform. he hates uniforms
Jon: you look like you’re gonna fall asleep
Damian: ugh, look who it is, the good boy from metropolis who doesn’t look like a creep at all when he comes here just to talk to me. woo hoo!
Jon: nice to see you too
• jon normally sucked on lollipops when he didn’t want to chew on gum, plus sometimes he chews on gum really aggressively and it hurts his jaw
• but let’s talk abt jonny: star athlete ( I’m a simp for athletes jon, please kill me. he’s a basketball player in this though. he got the height for it anyway ), himbo-vibes, and overall sweetheart.
• at least that’s what everyone else thinks. his life is a cycle. A very miserable cycle. It’s honestly tiring and hurts his head and generally takes his mood down
• but then he drove to bludhaven in his new car and brand new license. and he saw him.
• sure he’s seen moody teenagers working at stores before, but this boy; Damian, by his name tag, was different. He SENSED IT
• jon found that he liked different
• damian.. just didn’t easily talk with Jon like so many did at home. he liked a challenge
• and Damian was his challenge
• so he wasted so much gas and time and money to visit him.
• he was so whipped
• he was attracted to him. just the way he did things. like goddamn. ok.
• then his friends and him took a trip there. it was Saturday, they were gonna leave on Sunday. it was for Kathy’s birthday. He had no idea why she wanted to go here.
• oh. yeah. The idiots taken in for underaged drinking. Jon didn’t drink. ( he was a good boy and designated driver ) so he was just there trying to get the officers to let his friends off the hook
Damian: oh look, guess the good boy isn’t really a good boy.
Jon: Damian—? No! I’m here to get my friends out!
Damian: figures, you’re too innocent to do bad things.
Jon: what did you do then?
Damian: well wouldnt my you like to know
Dick: Damian! There you are! Sorry, I was calling up some parents- who is this?
Damian: Good boy.
Dick: ah.
Jon: Jon Kent.. nice to meet you
Dick: wait. As in Clark Kent?
Jon: yeah? that’s my dad
Dick: aw your dad used to babysit me
Damian: can we go now
Dick: hush Damian, I’m feeling nostalgic
• so Damian learned jons name. And jon got to see Damian in regular clothes, so that was cool
• he also got in trouble and couldn’t see Damian for a month because his parents were upset about what happened.. understandable, but jon was still upset
Tai: soo, that was him?:)
Jon: shut up
• tai accidentally found out about cashier boy, it was very funny for tai. not Jon. he teased jon for being whipped.
• sure jon liked damian for his looks at first. then he liked him for him.
Jon: dad, some guy named dick said hi
Clark: jon it isn’t— wait-
Jon: he said you babysat him
Clark: really? You saw him, how did he look? I haven’t seen him since he was a kid!
Jon: um. good?
Clark: where did you see him?
Jon: ..the police place
• his parents put a tracker on jons phone. now they were so confused why their son kept going to Giant Beagle in bludhaven. it was. weird.
• they just- was he meeting someone?? why was he doing this? WAS HE GETTING DRUGS? wait. no. it’s jon. jon couldn’t even stand the smell of cigarettes
Lois: jon.. honey.
Jon: yeah?
Lois: why do you keep driving to bludhaven? I’m worried about you and want to make sure you aren’t doing anything.. bad. Or dangerous.
• granted, it was very dangerous going out there, but he liked it. he liked the thrill of when he got to walk damian back sometimes! HE WAS GETTING CLOSER TO DAMIAN!
• oh also. it turns out damian gave him a fake number
• rude.
• damian always warned him though. and tried to make jon not walk far. jon was.. jon was a good boy. he would never survive in bludhaven frequently, jt worried humored damian.
• sometimes jon came by during the day. Damian’s Sunday shift was in the evening while his Saturday one was in the morning. jon got to go get lunch with him sometimes if Damian felt like there were enough people around that would know if he got kidnapped or not
Damian: why do you bother talking to me? most get bored of me and my attitude.
Jon: I find it charming. you’re fun to talk to. you feel so real. almost everyone in my life feels artificial and like I’m living in a disney Chanel movie.
Damian: *he laughed* oh?
Jon, loving Damians laugh rn: yeah! it’s like they’re.. androids or somethin’.
Damian: why don’t you just find someone snarky from metropolis?
Jon: it wouldn’t be as fun then.
Jon: i like a challenge.
• getting to know damian was like trying to beat the hardest level in his game. it was mind blowing how many times he basically had to restart. Damian was also like a Rubix cube, but jon will get there. He already has 1 side done on it.
Jon: so you live with your brother?
Damian: yes.
Jon: nice
• jon didn’t pry. Damian and dick had became forgotten after bruces death, a lot of the kids did. they just all disappeared from the media like ghosts.
• so jon didn’t know that dick wasn’t his blood relative, or that Damian was Bruce’s child. no one really did
• it wasn’t like it mattered though anyways
Damian: basketball is lame.
Jon: have you ever played?
Damian: yes. it sucked ass
• jon has helped Damian restocked late at night sometimes. Damian doesn’t like him touching things, but the faster he does it, faster he can go home to get his pets, alfred, and his idiot brother
Damian: you waste a lot of gas coming to see me.
Jon: it’s worth it.
• jon had to get a job. boo. he worked on days he didn’t have practice and sadly, on sundays.
• he was a worker at a small cafe, he was just a waiter there
• and then one day, on a Sunday, Damian came in with a few people. WAIT DAMIAN CAME IN
Jon: DAMIAN
Damian, clearly startled: what the fuck, jon!
Jon: why’re you here! how long are you staying! ARE TOU REALLY HERE!
Maya: is this who you were talking about?
Damian: shut up.. but calm down, idiot.
Damian: .. you got a haircut.
Jon: you- you noticed? sorry I couldn’t come this week. was busy this week and needed to catch up on sleep.
Damian:’it’s fine. I guess I really should give you my number now.
Colin: that was smooth
Jon: really?
Damian: mhm. after you seat us, dumbass.
Jon: oh right
• and Damian did give jon his number
• a real one dw
Maps: he was cute.. he single?
Maya: he wouldn’t be single if Damian just manned up
Colin: they practically just stared at each other the whole time when they thought the other wasn’t looking
Damian: wait he was looking at me?
Maya: oh damians so whipped.
• oh how the cashier is falling for the waiter
• sounds like a hallmark film.
• next week jon did end up visiting him in ‘haven, and drove him home.
• damians feet were hurting and he was tired so he didn’t even bother to argue.
• jon couldn’t come to visit his favorite cashier during winters a lot, he may of liked his new “dangerous” life, but he heard how bad the roses could get from Damian
• damian was a bit sad and moody because of that. but shut up. you don’t know anything dick
Dick: you know.. you should invite him inside
Damian: so you can embarrass me? no thank you.
Dick: me? embarrass you? never. but come on, you have never shown interested in anyone before! I wanna meet him!
Damian: you already did. At the police station. you forget or something?
Dick: .. that wasn’t really the best first meeting. come on. please?
Damian: no.
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Hii. Can I request anything with pre- cult Kai and fem reader with a reader that's really happy and bubbly? It could be a fic, headcanonns, literally anything lol. I love your writing 💙💙
Of course you can love, I hope you enjoy this ❤️
Crushing
Pairing: Pre Cult Kai/ bubbly reader
Words: 1506
Warnings: POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNINGS ⚠️⚠️⚠️ This will contain sexual harassment and assault it isn’t graphic but some may feel uncomfy, this fic also features heavy language
Summary: Kai and Reader have both had crushes on each other but have consistently brushed their feelings off they both felt the other was simply unattainable. A bad experience ends up bringing them together.
Masterlist
///::::///
You had always been a bubbly person, the type that usually had a grin spread across her face. You had the biggest crush on your friend Winter’s older brother. You were one hundred percent positive that you were not his type. He was sarcastic and a little mean at times, you were an absolute giggle box who always had a kind word and a smile for almost everyone.
What you didn’t know, was that you were not the only person with a crush. Kai had been mesmerized by the way you floated through life like you had a bubble to protect you from all the grubby thorns that were society. You never caught him but he would stare at you when you came to visit Winter. The entire family loved you actually and Kai’s father would often tease him about you when you were out of the room.
You never expected anything to come out of your silly little crush and neither did Kai for that matter. He had actually put you up on a bit of an unfounded pedestal in his own mind. You were too pure for anyone himself included. He didn’t want to see anyone crush your spirit it was something he loved about you.
Kai couldn’t control the world though, and the world was a dark miserable place that was full of dark miserable people. You were someone who was remarkable though, you seemed untouched by the dark miserable world in his mind. The darkness of the world affects everyone sometimes though and it did eventually catch up to you.
***
You had been walking home from work in the rain, face tilted to sky as the soft drops of water tickled your skin. You hadn’t noticed the strange customer who had been watching you at the coffee shop where you worked. You also hadn’t noticed him follow you out of the shop too busy watching your bright yellow converse splash happily in the puddles on the grubby side walk.
It hadn’t taken him long to act when you had turned onto a fairly deserted road. He had caught up to you and began to walk in step with you. Red flags went up immediately in your head but you as always held out hope that maybe this person was just being friendly.
“Hey baby girl,” his tone was slippery and disgusting. You couldn’t help the trill of fear that went down your spine.
“Hey, please don’t call me that,” you muttered, probably more politely than you should have.
“Oh so you’re a frigid bitch that can’t take a fuckin compliment!” His tone had shifted from slick to intimidating in the span of a few seconds. This man was everything your mother had taught you to fear. You also wished you had started carrying personal protection like Winter had suggested, weapons made you uncomfy though.
“Excuse me I need to get home people are waiting for me” you babbled picking up your pace to try and put distance between himself and you. Before you got very far his large hand reached out wrapping around your forearm with a bruising tightness. You yelped, reaching into your pocket with your free hand to hit your emergency dial.
“I wasn’t done talkin to you bitch don’t think I didn’t notice you ignoring me at the stupid little coffee shop” your fear level was almost maxed out now and you could faintly hear Winter screaming in your pocket from where you had emergency dialed her.
“Please I don’t want any trouble, I haven’t done anything to you,” you tried to reason with the mad man. Before the man could utter another word a car screeched to a halt in the middle of the street.
Kai had been driving down the road on his way back home when he saw a familiar polka dot rain jacket being assaulted by some grubby asshole. He had slammed on his breaks and jerked his old beater of a car into park. He flew out of the car dashing to your side.
“Get. Your. Fucking. Hands. Off. Of. Her.” He hissed as he stepped between you and your assailant. The man released her arm like it shocked him as Kai glared at him with angry brown eyes.
“Sorry man, I didn’t know she had a fuckin boyfriend she should have said something,” the man backpeddaled.
“It shouldn’t matter if a person has a boyfriend or not! No means no asshole!” You shouted the fear draining from you being rapidly replaced by righteous anger.
“If I ever see you again I’ll be the last person you’ll ever see fuck face” Kai spat angling himself rven further infront of you as the man ran off.
As soon as the man was gone Kai spun so that he was facing you. His eyes ran down your body looking for any possible injuries. Water dropped from his wild brown curls as he checked you over. He was careful not to touch you but you weren’t having any of that, you launched yourself into his arms your own wrapping around his surprisingly muscled middle.
“Thank you, you saved my ass,” you mumbled into his soaked t-shirt, happy that the rain was hiding your tear stained cheeks.
“You scared me to death, let’s get you home,” he brushed off your thank you. Like he could let someone try to hurt the only good thing in his world. He guided you to his car that was still parked in the middle of the road with the engine running.
Once you weee safely inside and he was driving again he turned to you. You couldn’t help the heat that filled your cheeks at his pointed gaze. You had never been alone like this with Kai before and it was frankly overwhelming.
“Why were you walking home, I know you have a car?” Kai asked his tone still full of worry. He would personally pay to have your car fixed if it was out of commission.
“I always walk when it’s raining, rain is my favorite” you blushed at how childish it sounded coming from your mouth. He let out an exasperated chuckle.
“Of course you do! Your a living breathing chick flick!” His tone was exasperated but lighthearted in a way.
“Hey! I resent that!” You shot out indignantly, “if I were a living breathing chick flick I would get the guy.”
Kai couldn’t help but look at you like you were dumb his brown eyes scanning your face to make sure you weren’t pulling his leg.
“Y/n you could literally get any dude you wanted, you’re freaking adorable” He sounded stunned that you would think such a thing. You rolled your eyes you didn’t need your best friend’s older brother blowing smoke up your rear.
“Adorable girls don’t get the guy Kai-Kai, hot girls get the guy” you rolled your eyes elbowing him gently. You didn’t know it but you were the only person in the world allowed to call him Kai-Kai. He pulled into your driveway still looking at you like you had grown three heads.
“You’re not serious y/n” Kai asked incredulously running a hand through his wet brown curls.
“Kai-Kai you don’t have to be nice to me just because I’m your sisters best friend” you rolled your eyes, moving to get out of Kai’s car.
“Give me your pinky” his voice sounded strange. Still you flashed him a goofy smile holding out a painted pinky. He linked his pinky with your own his was much larger and warmer.
“You know how a pinky swear works right?” He asked and you nodded still confused on where he was going with this.
“Yeah you can’t break a pinky swear” you replied.
“Well I pinky promise to tell you the brutally honest truth no sugar coating” he declared.
“Okay” you replied still a bit confused.
“Y/n I have wanted you from the moment you opened your mouth and that perfect giggle floated out. You ate everything I’m not. You’re a happy go lucky girl and I’m just some internet troll that enjoys getting a rise outta people,
“You’re way to good for me and I would never even bother to think that you would ever be interested in me. But you gotta stop this self deprecating bullshit. You are the most beautiful human I know inside and out” he ranted and you could only stare at him in shock, floored by his revelation.
“You like me?” You questioned your voice soft and squeaky.
“Hell yeah! How could anyone not like you y/n?” He too sounded surprised.
You unlatched your pinkies trying not to overthink what you were going to do next. You stared into Kai’s piercing brown eyes gathering your non existent courage. You leaned forward pushing forward with your hands on his console. Your lips connected in a searing kiss his lips scorched your own as he kissed you back with a fierceness, his hand burying itself in the back of your hair.
Sorry this took so long I was exhausted and time got away from me ❤️❤️❤️. Much love and thanks for reading.
#pre cult Kai#evan peters#kai x reader#kai anderson x reader#protective Kai Anderson#kai#kai anderson#kai x reade#kai angst#pre-cult Kai Anderson#reader insert#ahs fanfiction#ahs cult
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