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#so it would be nice to get a chance to talk to her without either of them around
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Love how me and my cousin don't really know how to talk to each other so we just play 8ball pool over facebook
#hopefully ill be able to go down to austin in October for the whiskey thing shes going to with my uncle#she invited me to houston for her birthday but texas in august sounds like a bad time#its hard to have a conversation with her when she visits kansas cuz her grandparents are with her and her grandpa makes me wanna#throw hands#hes an engineer for an oil company and hes constantly going on about how oil is the best source of power and cant be replaced and#isnt actually that bad for the environment and it makes me want to kill him#not to mention hes a judgy rich catholic.#hard to have a conversation while trying to restrain myself from launching over the table to strangle a man#he also just rubs me the wrong way#his presence feels like sandpaper and hes very insistent on eye contact and my autistic ass is not a fan#his voice is also loud#her grandma isnt so bad but she feels a little stepford wife to me so im still leary about interacting with her#conversations around them feels like a fucking minefield#so it would be nice to get a chance to talk to her without either of them around#and i never know how safe texts are since they were still monitoring her phone after she was 18#and her computer#like i dont wanna get her in trouble or having them find out shit about me that my grandparents dont know about and that i would#rather them not know#like im assuming texts are safe now cuz she texted me when she got engaged but asked me to keep it a secret but who knows with these people
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reiding-writing · 3 months
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Spencer making cold!Reader flustered? And morgan teasing
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CUP OF COFFEE [ONESHOT]
/kʌp əv ˈkɒfi/
a local officer on a case you’re working on really wants to impress you, spencer reid does it without even trying.
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WARNINGS: fem!reader, morgan being morgan, reader trying to be civil but ultimately failing
spencer reid x cold!reader || fluff || 2.9k || series masterlist!!
a/n: reader doesn’t actually get all that flustered but i feel like it’s more accurate this way rather than having her go into a full on fluster considering her personality-
main masterlist!!
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It was always fifty-fifty when working with local police departments on a case. They either wanted absolutely nothing to do with the FBI or they would follow you and the team around like a bunch of children.
This one was the latter, and it was arguably the worse of the two.
It felt like every time you rounded a corner you had a police officer just waiting to divert all of your attention away from the case so they could ask you questions about your job, and it was starting to get really frustrating.
“Have you ever worked a case like this before?”
“Not specifically,”
“How do you know how to write a psychological profile for a type of crime you haven’t encountered before?”
“I‘ve got a PhD in Psychology-“
“What exactly is a psychological profile?”
You were starting to get really annoyed now.
You know there was no ill intent behind his questions, he looked no older than his early twenties, fresh on the scene and to the types of things the criminal world really had to offer.
He genuinely wanted to learn, but when you were trying to catch a serial killer before they had the chance to kill anybody else, you didn’t exactly have time to entertain all of his questions whilst also focusing on the profile you were trying to curate at the same time.
“You can ask me your questions after this guy is behind bars,” That was probably as nice as your request was going to get.
“Right- Sorry- I’ll stop talking now,” He pressed his lips into a tight line with a small nod as he took your words to heart.
The boy reminded you of Spencer in some ways. He was tall and disproportionately lanky, he seemed to have a never ending stream of curiosity, he dressed decently similarly, and he even made the same expressions you’ve come to recognise as a staple of Spencer’s personality.
One thing that was very different between the two though, was that Spencer knew how to take a hint.
He would’ve left you alone the second those words came out of your mouth, but instead you had now gained yourself an observer as you worked, one that was cemented by the scraping of metal chair legs on the carpet and a messenger bag hitting the floor.
You fight the urge to audibly groan at his persistent presence, closing your eyes with the silent prayer that something would call his attention out of the room so that he would leave you to work in peace.
Then there was a knock on the door.
Looks like God was on your side today.
“Come in,” You call out towards the door with an internal sigh of relief, wringing the whiteboard pen in your hands as you turn towards the door you’d specifically left closed so people like officer curious sat at the round table wouldn’t bother you.
Your relief was short lived when Morgan walked through the door, and you don’t even try to hide the groan that leaves your mouth at the look on his face as he enters. “What now?”
“Now now, that’s now way to be a good role model to your youngers now is it?” The smug look on Morgan’s face only widens as he spots the officer at the table. “I’m looking for pretty boy, can’t find him anywhere,”
You shrug as a response. “Unlike the rest of you, he knows when to leave me alone, so I haven’t seen him,”
If that wasn’t the most direct indirect way for you to say you didn’t want the officer’s presence whilst you worked you didn’t know what was.
Morgan raises an eyebrow, his smirk unwavering. “Well, we've got a lead on the case. Thought you might want to be in the loop.” He glances at the officer, then back at you.
You give him a short hum and discard the whiteboard pen on the table, having to physically raise your hand to stop the officer from following the two of you out of the room. “We need to speak privately for this, I’m sure you understand,”
“Right- Right yeah sorry- I’ll just uh- wait here then…”
You give him a short nod with your lips pressed taut into a line as you push Morgan out of the small meeting room and into the hallway, following behind him and clicking the door shut behind you.
“Got yourself a fan have you?” Morgan chuckles slightly as he watches the officer take a seat back at the table through the room’s window, his eyes on you as he tries to silently soak in every detail of the conversation through the glass.
“More like a parasite, he hasn’t left me alone for more than five minutes all day.” You groan exasperatedly as the two of you walk to a private area to have your conversation.
“Can you blame the kid? He’s probably never seen an FBI Agent in person before, he’s just excited,”
“Annoying is what he is,”
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
When you return to the put-aside meeting room reserved for your profile making, there are two cups of coffee on the table, and of course, the officer is still sitting there.
His head turns up to the door as you open it, and he straightens his back in the chair. “Welcome back- I uh- I made you some coffee, I wasn’t sure how you liked it so I asked one of your team members- Two sugars right?“
He pushes the mug carefully in your direction so the drink doesn’t spill, and you walk right past it back towards the whiteboard.
“Thank you, but I don’t drink coffee in mugs used by other people, nor do I drink coffee made by an unhygienic office coffee machine,” You try your best to be civil as you shut him down.
“Ouch-” Morgan leans against the door frame with his arms crossed, shaking his head in exaggerated disapproval at your response. “Don’t be so harsh-”
You roll your eyes at Morgan’s input, turning your gaze to the now slightly embarrassed officer. “I appreciate your effort,”
“I should’ve asked you personally, I’m sorry-”
“Don’t apologise you didn’t do anything wrong, it’s fine,” You give him a small tilt of your head to hammer the fact that everything was fine home so that he didn’t completely crumple up into himself and leave you to deal with it.
“Right, sorry- I mean-” The officer sighs as he gives up talking, taking the two mugs in his hands as he stands from the table. “I’ll take these out,”
Morgan follows the boy with his eyes as he walks past to leave the room, and you slump your shoulders the second he’s out of sight.
“For God’s sake-”
“You’ve really got yourself a little shadow,” Morgan continues to revel in your misery as he steps further into the room, letting the door close behind him.
“I am two minutes away from ripping him a new asshole if he doesn’t take the hint and leave me the fuck alone,” You groan exasperatedly, dragging your palm down your face as you take a seat on the edge of the table. “I’ve barely gotten anything done because he keeps peering over my shoulder like a goddamn five year old with separation anxiety,”
You weren’t wrong in the first half of your assessment, most of the whiteboard you’d been using to write down your notes was empty despite you working on the profile for multiple hours at this point, and judging by the attitude of the poor officer you were slandering the second half of your assessment wasn’t too far off either. “You never get that frustrated with Reid,”
“How is that at all relevant to anything I’ve just said?”
“Come on, you’ve gotta be able to see the similarities here, he’s practically a carbon copy of what Reid was like when he first joined the team,” Morgan gives a short laugh as he gestures in the direction that the officer had just left in.
“Reid was just as annoying back then,”
“He’s barely changed at all-” Morgan rolls his eyes at your half-assed way of explaining why Spencer was an exception to your frustration.
“He’s changed a lot actually,” You shake your head with an impatient sigh as you lean over to grab your whiteboard pen, using it to keep your hands busy.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” He mirrors the way you shake your head with his own. “That boy is your kryptonite and you know it,”
“Get your ass out of this room before I cover your face in whiteboard marker penises,” You don’t refute Morgan’s claim and he knows it, standing up with a smirk and his hands raised comically in surrender as he retreats to the door.
“Yes ma’am,” He turns for the door handle with a laugh, but the door swings open before he can, and you mentally prepare yourself for that goddamn police officer to walk back into the room and continue hovering over you like a mosquito.
You don’t have to.
“Well speak of the devil,” Morgan tilts his head knowingly at you as Spencer bypasses him to enter with a cardboard holder of take out ocffee cups in hand, eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion at why you and Morgan would be having a conversation about him without him being present.
Morgan nudges Spencer with his elbow, eyes locked on you as he starts to spill. “Little miss Ice Queen and I were just talking about-”
“There’s a possible lead in the case.” You interrupt him before he can divulge any details of your conversation. “One you would benefit from knowing about. Morgan was looking for you,”
“Oh-” Spencer gives a short nod in your direction, leaving the cups on the table to ball his hands together and then flex his fingers like a mini hand workout. “I was in the coffee shop down the block sorry,” He takes the two cups from the holder, one in each hand, and holds the one in his left out towards you.
You take the cup from him with your lips pressed into a small line, as much of a thanks as you’re going to give and as much of a thanks as he was expecting in the first place.
“They were established back in 1902 and continue to make their coffee using traditional methods rather than using a machine like most coffee shops do in the present day.” He takes a sip from his own cardboard cup after his little bit of exposition of the shop’s history and you mirror him in doing the same.
Absolutely perfect.
As to be expected from someone when the person who ordered it had an eidetic memory. And maybe a little bit better because that person was Spencer Reid. Maybe.
“I-” You’re not exactly sure what to say. Obviously a thanks would be worth voicing, but he had gone out of his way to buy you a cup of coffee, even if him remembering your order was like reciting the alphabet in his head.
“Thank you, it’s nice,” You give him a small nod through your mostly deadpanned expression as you take a second sip through the plastic lid of the cup, trying in vain to seem nonchalant about the unannounced gift that he’d brought back for you.
Morgan noticed immediately. Of course he did, because when was Morgan ever minding his own goddamn business?
“No problem,” Spencer’s face erupts in that bright smile of his, and his words get half caught in his throat as he tries to speak whilst in the middle of swallowing. “Did you know that coffee is actually a fruit despite coffee beans being called, well, beans? The coffee beans that we use to make drinkable coffee are actually the pit of coffee cherries, that grow on bushes in low-altitude tropical regions,”
You give him a small hum and a nod as an acknowledgement of you taking in the information, and Morgan laughs at the way your eyes flicker away from Spencer’s gaze rather than holding it firm like you usually would. “No coffee for me pretty boy?”
“You had a cup of coffee in your hand when I left,”
“So what? I’m stuck with the shitty police station coffee and little miss ‘I hate everyone’ gets your old fashioned fancy coffee?” Morgan’s accusation holds no malice in it whatsoever, and if his tone wasn’t enough to display that, the goddamned smirk on his face definitely was.
“I do not hate everyone, just you,” You shoot your retort at him with a roll of your eyes and a scoff.
“You wound me,” Morgan clasps his hand dramatically over his chest, pretending to stumble backwards out of pain. He knew you didn’t hate him really, no matter how much you claimed to.
“Caffeine helps increase brain functioning, which will help when curating a profile,” Spencer half points to the still mostly empty board behind you and you almost groan at the reminder of just how little progress you’ve made. “And she doesn’t like the coffee machines, so a proper cup of coffee is the next easiest option,”
You almost forget to breathe as Spencer explains his reasoning behind the coffee run. He’d remembered that tiny detail. Obviously he had, he had an eidetic memory. But he’d actually thought about it and made a conscious decision to find you a caffeine fix elsewhere in the wake of that knowledge.
“Everyone should preferably be drinking properly made coffee, but with the prices I’m not surprised people choose the cheaper option, even if they’re not getting as much caffeine per drink,” Spencer shrugs as he continues his explanation, finishing it off with another sip from his cup.
Your eyes turn up at the mention of the price. You hadn’t considered the fact that him buying you coffee actually included him buying the coffee.
“How much was it?” You glance between him and the cup in your hand as if trying to figure it out yourself based solely on the black tree printed on the cardboard, eyebrows furrowed at the idea of him spending a lot of money on two cups of coffee of all things.
“Uh,” He deliberates on whether to actually tell you, but he knows that you’ll find out one way or another so there was no real point in trying to hide it from you. “Eighteen for the both of them,”
“Eighteen dollars? You spent eighteen dollars on two cups of coffee?” He was expecting that reaction from you.
“Proportionally it’s actually relatively inexpensive considering how it’s made and the beans that are used. Some professional coffee makers charge upwards of fourteen dollars a cup,”
“And those coffee makers are absolutely fucking insane,” You stare down at your cup as you internally judge whether it was worth a whole nine dollars. It was a great cup of coffee to be sure, probably the best one you’d ever had, but nine goddamn dollars? It wasn’t even a large cup. “Nine goddamn dollars for a cup of coffee my god,”
You can see Spencer’s expression falter slightly in your peripheral vision at your outrage of the price, something that you’d definitely not intended and something you considered an easy fix as you left your cup on the table to rifle through your bag.
“You are simply something else Dr Reid I swear,” The second you pull your purse out of your bag he knows what you’re going to do, and he tries to shut you down before you can even start.
“I- You don’t- I chose to pay for it with my own money you don’t-”
You make a ‘zip’ motion across your mouth with your middle and index finger to stop him from talking as you pull out a ten dollar note and shove it into the chest pocket of his cardigan so he can’t refuse to take it from you. “Never buy me a drink that expensive again,”
“Right,” Spencer presses his lips tight into a line with a small nod, “Did it taste okay at least?”
“It was probably the best cup of coffee I’ve ever had, but that doesn’t make it not ridiculously expensive.” Spencer doesn’t even try to suppress the smile that emerges on his face at your approval, even if it was backhandedly berating him for buying it in the process.
“Cough cough lovebirds, in case you forgot, Reid still needs to be debriefed about the new lead,” You don’t even bother trying to retort to Morgan as you pick up your coffee and leave the room with Spencer happily trailing behind you.
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acowardinmordor · 7 months
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You Left Me - You Miss Me - Six
Sup, I finally wrote the next part. Mostly because of someone trying to find it via the fic finder blog, which gave me a big ol spike in anxiety about the lack of update.
Part One .... Part Four - Part Five
---
“Rob, no.”
“Don’t you tell me ‘no,’ Steven Dingus Harrington!”
“You can’t drive to Hawkins and kill the guy.”
“Oh yes I can! I'll take your bat with me!”
“Babe, you still don’t know how to drive, and I have work in the morning so I can’t take you.” 
“I’ll figure it out on the way!”
She wouldn’t. She wasn't going to drive to Hawkins. She would definitely, absolutely, one hundred percent kill Munson if she had the chance and Steve didn’t talk her out of it, but Robin wasn’t going to leave him alone when he’d had a breakdown an hour earlier. She wouldn’t let him sleep alone for the next few days, and she would go to work with him in the morning, and she’d probably skip her Stats class so she could stick by him after work too. 
It took Robin about thirty seconds to realize something had happened. 
That was the gap between her opening the car door, and Steve speaking. All he said was “hey, Robs” and she cut off her ramble about chlorofluorocarbons. The same way he could tell by the sound of her stirring soup, or which color eye shadow she wore, she knew immediately something had happened. 
She touched his arm.
And he had a breakdown in the college parking lot. 
Steve updated the tag on the side of the box and put it back on the shelf. He was,technically, working. Robin was ranting and using a tie-dye shirt as a prop. 
“You don’t need to crash our car trying to go kill a guy I’m not even mad at.”
“Ugh,” she flapped the shirt at him and slouched against the edge of the shelving unit. “Why not? Why are you not mad at him? How? I’m mad at him! He took the kids away from you! They’re annoying little shitheads but you loved them and he jus---”
“Rob,” he interrupted softly. He couldn’t get into that side of it right now. 
“Sorry. Sorry. But you’re not this nice, Stevie. You’re wonderfully bitchy and petty and it’s one of my favorite things about you, and I don’t get this. He sucks! This was super shitty! Why aren’t you mad at him for being an asshole?”
“It’s not his fault.”
“He said it was his fault!”
Eddie blamed himself, and maybe it was his fault, but it didn’t matter. Not in comparison.
“Are you going to inventory anything tonight, or is this just going to be me?”
“No! And why are you working?”
Because if he stopped, if he let himself turn his full attention towards it, he was going to fall apart again, and stupid as it was, checking inventory used up just enough of his focus that he couldn’t drown. Steve flicked through the stack of size smalls, and wrote it down on the list. “Uh, because we’re at work?”
“We both work tomorrow tonight and there is no way that Mary or Nick have ever looked at the stock sheets in their life, they aren’t going to look tomorrow either. No one will know.”
“I’ll know.” He glanced up to make eye contact for a second, and she caved with a groan. 
“If you were anyone but my soulmate, buddy…” She folded the shirt terribly, shoved it into the gap between the cardboard and the other shirts, and finally closed the box. 
Letting the silence settle gave Steve a minute to breathe, and reset himself without the rising tension. She knew that, and waited until, unspoken, she knew he was ready to keep going. 
“Steve.”
“I am mad, Robs. I am. You know that it’s.. At the kids, and at Hopper, and at myself for agreeing to this stupid idea, but I’m not mad at him.” 
“Why does he get special treatment?”
Hearing how that sounded, he tried again, “No, uh. I’m mad at him, but, like, the same way you get mad when the grandma in the crosswalk is going really slow and then drops something and goes back, and you end up stuck waiting again even though you should have made it through the light before. Yeah, it sucks, but it’s not like grandma was doing it specifically to fuck with you. She’s just, you know, shopping or whatever. 
“It wasn’t like there was a friendship there that he betrayed. He did something for his own life and it was sorta sucky, and it sucks for me, but he feels really shitty about it, so I don’t think he meant for them to, you know, vanish.”
Robin thumbed down the stack of Levis, whispering the count as she went. Three more sizes got counted before she responded. 
“You carried him out of there. You saved his life.”
Steve hummed absently. “He wasn’t bleeding that bad. His trash lid kept most of them off. I panicked when I saw blood and picked him up.”
“And that doesn’t make you friends?”
“It’s not like I only saved him because it was him. Not like I stopped and thought about whether I should get the bleeding guy to the hospital. Lifeguard, remember?” 
The other half of the thought, he bit back. He’d had nightmares about Billy after Starcourt. Dreams where he could have saved him, and didn’t. Where he could have saved Max from having to see that, having to recover from that. He saw Eddie bleeding, he saw one of his kids screaming, and there wasn’t a thought in his head. Just the need not to let it happen again. Not again. Not Dustin too. 
He kept his eyes on the inventory form so she didn’t see that part. 
“Still think it should have mattered more. Life saving creates friendships.”
“He was unconscious. I know you don’t know much about how guys act with each other, but generally both dudes are awake when they become friends.”
She snorted at his weak joke, throwing her pencil at him. It wasn’t anywhere near her. 
“New record, champ,  that one wasn’t even close enough for me to pretend to dodge it.”
“Ugh, I hate you.”
“Love you too, Robs.”
He got through a full set of kids dress shirts in peace, counted and listed. Then he pulled down the crate of kid’s dresses, next on the list to check. 
The whole can of worms would tear open when, if, when Eddie showed up with something from the kids. There was no version of that day that wouldn’t end with him falling apart. If he skimmed them, if he burned them, if he read them, if he wrote back, if he refused to take them at all, it didn’t matter. He was going to fall to pieces. 
If they wrote and it was real, if it was petty, if it was anger, if it was grief, if it was gloating he was gone, if it was begging him to come back, if it was proof that it was always fake, always a temporary placeholder until they found someone they actually like. The imminent breakdown was going to be bad no matter what. 
Like those safety videos in school about seat belts. 
Like knowing the car crash was coming, knowing it couldn’t be stopped, and knowing that nothing he did was going to make it any easier to bear. Slow motion, watching a car come -- a beat up old van come towards him. No time to put on a seat belt, no way to brace for it, just accept that it was going to happen and hope you survived.  
Robin cleared her throat to get his attention, and Steve blinked back to himself. 
“Did, uh, did you say something?”
Robin watched him for a minute. He let her this time. It was easier to let her see what he was feeling than try to turn it into words, and he needed her to let it go for now.. 
“I’m going to skip my bio lecture on Friday afternoon.”
“Birdie, you don’t--” 
“You are going to call in sick at the skate rink. We are going to make snickerdoodles and brownies and the cracker bark thing, and order pizza, and we’re going to make ourselves sick eating too much, and we’re going to watch some random movie on mute and make up our own story and dialogue. Got it?”
“Got it,” he smiled.
And it wasn’t going to make it all better. Eating two pounds of butter in a day wasn’t going to make it easier when Eddie showed up, but it was like hitting pause on that video. Car crash was still coming, but he could look away for a while. 
***
Steve clung to the pass shelf from the kitchen as the expected car crash hit him on Monday. John, always eager for the chance to throw someone out of the diner, looked over Steve’s shoulder. It was a nice moment. A nice little thought before he had to face what he’d agreed to. If he asked, John would throw Eddie out. Literally. Nice image, but not the one he got to see.
Instead, he declined the offer, and grabbed the plates. 
“Gimme a minute,” he mumbled to Eddie, heading to the sweet elderly couple celebrating the birth of their second granddaughter with a leisurely breakfast. If he spent an extra minute talking to them, complimenting the polaroid of what seemed to be some kind of mashed potato swaddled in white and pink, it was to get a good tip, not because he was stalling. 
Eddie hadn’t moved when he got back. He was a step back from the counter, stiff, holding a paper grocery bag under one arm, eyes trained on the ugly teal of the stool’s seat.
“Well?” Steve asked bitchily, “Did you bring milk and eggs and bread, honey?”
He put it on the counter, clutching the folded top hard, like he was making sure it stayed shut. 
Like it was full of spiders or something. Mutual sentiment.
Steve grabbed it, tossing it onto the shelf where they kept personal belongings and the leftovers they’d called dibs on. He hadn’t expected Eddie Munson to be up to Franklin at eight am on a Monday. Eddie wasn’t a morning person. Steve thought he’d have a few more hours to brace. Now he had to deal with customers while that bag burned a hole in the back of his head. 
Luckily, Rebecca was serious when she said he could get mean with guests if he wanted to. Today wasn’t a want. It was going to be a necessity. 
Eddie was still standing there. 
“You can tell them I got it, or whatever,” he tried to dismiss him.
Something that looked like the tortured remains of a smile flickered on Eddie’s face. He gave up after a second and nodded too many times. “Thanks. Thank you. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, right?”
It took a minute for Steve to catch up to the question. 
“I haven’t said I’m going to answer them. Or open them. Or keep them.”
Eddie was quiet for a minute, still not looking up, and Steve’s Travel-Size-Robin was vibrating with the need to make him so they could guess what the hell he was thinking. 
“Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday mornings?” he repeated. 
“Yeah. Sure, yeah,” Steve gave up. 
Eddie left, and Steve did the entire day’s front of house prep before Susan got in, trying to keep his head away from that damn bag. 
***
Steve didn’t open it. 
He fell asleep in Robin’s bed, grateful he didn’t have other work that evening, and doubly grateful when she made him eat some crackers and drink some water before they passed out for the night. 
If he was waiting for the impact the day before, seeing Eddie again the next day was so unexpected that the crash whooshed past him without an impact. He didn’t sit down, and he looked a little rough, probably from driving to Franklin in the early morning twice in two days. 
“Do you have…?”
“No? No,” Steve boggled at him, “How could I have anything for you to even -- No. Man, no.” 
Eddie nodded. 
Eddie left. 
***
Steve stared at the bag instead of taking a nap before their shift in the stockroom. Didn’t open it, that was way, way beyond him, but he did manage to look directly at it, and it was only a few saltines, but he did successfully eat. 
Robin, angel, light of his life, soulmate and perfect person got in the car after class, handed him a kinda gross protein bar that she stole from an athlete in her class who she didn’t like, and made him eat it. 
She didn’t make him talk about the bag shaped elephant in their apartment, and she spent the entire shift explaining the way Ann Carson’s translations of Greek plays had totally shifted how people read them, making them more accessible, and how the push to do the same with Shakespeare was incredible. 
When he went to crawl into his own bed that night, she grumbled, brought her favorite pillow, and climbed in after him. 
***
Eddie walked in at quarter to seven, right after three four tops seated.
“No.”
“Okay. Yeah.” Eddie looked small, probably because he was speaking at a normal volume, sounding like a normal human, which ran opposite to how Eddie was in Hawkins. He also looked like crap. 
“Why are you here, dude? You hate mornings. You don’t have to leave that early, I work until one.”
Eddie scrunched his face, but didn’t answer that. 
“No?” he asked instead.
Someone at table six shouted ‘waiter!’ 
“I’ll bring your coffee in a damn minute!” Steve yelled back, half turning with the carafe in his hand.
“Steve?”
“Look, I don’t have anything for you. Nothing. You don’t need to waste your time. I haven’t opened it.”
“There’s more than one -- oh,” Eddie scrubbed over his face. “Okay. Yeah. Okay. Do-- Are you going to? Open it.”
Thinking about opening it made him want to run away to Canada. 
Thinking about never knowing made him want to puke. 
Whatever weird face Steve made was something Eddie could translate. He only raised his head for a moment, just long enough to look. But then he covered his face with both hands, taking a deep breath that shuddered on the exhale. 
“See you Monday,” he said as a goodbye.
“Where’s my coffee?” the same guy yelled. Steve didn’t have the energy to deal with customers and whatever the fuck was going on with Eddie’s early morning emotional mess. 
“Wait a second,” he complained to both of them at once. Steve grabbed one of the big mugs, the ones they used for the expensive hot chocolate, filled it with coffee, and set the pour jar of sugar next to it. He looked from Eddie to the cup, pointedly. “Don’t crash. Bring the cup back with you.”
The asshole yelled for him again, and Steve turned on the terrifyingly polite smile that Robin had helped him hone. Then he deployed it on the asshole at table six. 
---------------
We are headed towards Steddie, on a path that will, hopefully, not feel like I brushed off all this to get there. However. Wow, they're hurting right now. You can't have Eddie's pov yet, it would spoil things, but. just. trust me. ow.
Still don't do tag lists. Once I know how many parts it'll be, this will go to Ao3, promise.
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sweetheart-satoru · 11 months
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his eyes, breathtaking
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you tried to ignore him and your feelings, but they were stubborn.
author's note: me cuz i promised part two in october and now it's here 🙈🙈 don't hate me at least it's here 💋 i love you silly billies 🫶🏽
part one here !!
"you two in a fight or somethin'?" shoko says, leaning back in her chair. satoru places his cheek in his palm, "dunno, she's definitely mad at me, though." suguru tilts his head, "how come?"
"i dont know, can you ask her about it?" shoko shrugs, "i'll ask her at break." satoru nods, "thanks." you and satoru sit behind shoko and suguru. two seats in each spot.
when you walk into class you just stare out the window until shoko makes small talk with you, hoping the awkwardness would pass. “y/n, your bracelet is pretty.”
“thank you!” you grin at her, mood changing instantly. “yeahh,” satoru agrees, and he frowns as he watches your grin turn neutral, “i like it too, by the way.” he coughs. “mhm.. thanks, gojo.” you went back to the last name basis, and his heart drops.
shoko gives him a look, pointing at his phone, telling him to text her. and he does, along does suguru.
shoko: shes def mad
satoru: thanks a lot, i didn’t notice 😐!!
suguru: why is she mad tho?? what did you do??
satoru: why are you guys blaming me?! i don’t know either.
you cough, “hey- uh, shoko.. i’m gonna go to the washroom, ‘kay? if the bell rings before im back i’ll meet you by the gates.” you tell her before walking out. “mhm, okay!” she calls out. and when you shut the door she immediately turns to satoru and suguru.
“suguru, did you hear that? earlier, she called satoru by his last name. something is totally wrong.” and suguru nods, agreeing. “well, satoru. you should go follow her. this is your chance. the bell will ring soon so it doesn’t matter how much time you take, go!”
satoru nods, “mhm, okay!” and then he rushes out of class, going to see if he can finally talk to you.
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you splash cold water on your face. mumbling to yourself, "get your shit together, y/n." you weren't going to lie, on a hot day like this, the cold water felt nice. patting your cheeks, you stare into the mirror, feeling a little bit less disgusted with yourself.
"oh, hey! i don't look too ugly today!" you give yourself a half grin, taking out a tube of lipgloss and lip tint from your pocket. "i'll just fix this up.." you say to yourself quietly.
when you're done you fix your hair, "not too bad, y/n." you smile to yourself, quietly feeling good. you were right to tell shoko to leave class and not wait, you were taking too much time and the bell did ring.
you check your phone and see that she texted you.
shoko: me and suguru are headed to the convenience store, satoru also went to the washroom so you two can meet up with us together
you visibly frown, oh shit. okay, y/n. just play it cool. if you hurry up maybe you can rush to them and you won't need to see him. yeah, if you hurry up you can make it without it. or you can wait it out and hope he leaves without you.
feeling your stomach growl, you screw idea #2 and just speed walk out of the washroom, making a quick turn before in the corner of your eye you see satoru leaning on the wall with his arms crossed. he was looking down at his phone, but now that your in his eye line, he raises his brows.
"wow, you sure take your time. im telling shoko she can't blame me for being late as this time it was your fault." he walks up to you and boops your nose.
you push his hand away, scrunching your nose. "mhm," you nod, cursing yourself for being too late, "lets uh, just go." he shakes his head, "nope."
narrowing your eyes, "huh? nope?" he grabs your wrist, "yeah, nope." he repeats, bringing you closer to him, and he frowns when you pull back. "lets talk."
"talk? talk about what? can we just go? im hungry." you complain, trying to pull your arm out. before (pt 1), when he grabbed your wrist he only held it lightly, now he was gripping it like if he let go, you would disappear.
"you're," you grunt, "hurting me." quietly, he mumbles a quick apology, but never fully lets go, just loosening his hold. "are you mad at me? and be serious, i don't want any half assed answer. tell me what you're feeling." he frowns.
"im.. im not mad at you." you look down to your shoes, and it's true. you weren't mad at him. you were mad at how he made you feel. you hate having feelings, especially with someone you're close with. it always comes back to bite you back in the ass. "then what is it?"
you stay silent. "y/n i know it has to be something to do with me, every time you speak to someone else you're back to being yourself, but when it's me it's like you hate me." your eyes widen, "i don't hate you." you blurt, and he gives you a sad smile. "then what is it? did i make you sad?"
"yes, but no, but like yes maybe kinda no. yes as in yes it has something to do with you, but no nothing you did intentionally." he raises his brow at that, "then what did i 'yes but no like yes maybe kinda no' do to you to make you stop talking to me for seven days?" you watch the hurt and sadness swirl in his eyes, his beautiful, breathtaking eyes.
"it's.. complicated! i don't know how to explain, it's just complicated!" you crouch down, into a frog like position. and he mimics your frog pose, bringing his face closer to yours, trying to figure out what was wrong.
"it's just, all in my head! i don't.. know.." you mutter, trailing off. "what're you thinking in here," he mumbles, "what are you thinking in your pretty little head." he taps two fingers on your forehead, and all you can think about his making out with him until your lips are too kiss-swollen to be touched.
"..stuff." you whisper, burying your face inside your hands, trying to hide your face that's on the verge of exploding with embarrassment. "oh, i get it." his lips curve into a smirk. all sadness gone.
he chuckles, and his chuckles turn into loud laughter. and his loud laughing turns into full on cackling until he really, truly cannot breathe.
"what are you laughing at..." you feel your heart pounding. it feels like its about to burst and fall right in between you two. he's still laughing, trying to cover his mouth to try and stop it. he's laughing so hard you see tears fall out of his eyes. "i can't fucking breathe!" he gasps for air, still laughing.
"oh my god, you're in love with me!" your heart drops to your stomach, and he's still laughing. his eyes are squeezed shut, he's gripping onto his pants like his life depends on it because he seriously cannot breathe.
all this time, for seven days you've ignored talking to him and texting him back, not because you were mad at him but because you had fucking feelings for him! oh god, he should've put the pieces together!
every time you would smile to yourself if your fingers brushed together, how you would look sad when someone who go up to him and confess, how you would smile down at him with a certain time of warmth when he would tie your shoelaces for you, how you would hug him longer than nessasary when he would pay for you food
"god! it's impossible to talk to you!" you hiss, getting up to leave to god knows where. just as you're about to turn your heel, going to walk away, he grabs your wrist.
"satoru, let go, just leave me alo-" he cuts you off by placing his hands on your cheeks, and then you feel his soft lips on yours. your eyes widen as you feel him bringing you closer to him. squeezing your eyes shut, you try and keep up with his skilled lips. he just took your first kiss and you don't know what you're doing!
he breaks the kiss off and grins down at you. "was that your first kiss?" you just turn your head away, trying to hide your flustered face. "you suck." he snickers, teasing you.
you frown, "shut up! you just caught me off guard, that's all! and if you must know i have kissed many people!" you were straight up lying through your teeth and he smirks, knowing.
"prove it. kiss me again. show me you're experienced." he leans against the wall, eyeing you like a hawk. "no. let's go to shoko and suguru, im hungry!" it wasn't like you were lying now, it's true. you were starved. "no?" he questions, cocking his head to the side. "no." you repeat, "now lets go." you try and drag his arm. he just chuckles and follows you.
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he intertwines your fingers together, holding you close to him. he watches you from the corner of his eyes as you randomly look at both of your hands, and then turn away smiling. he also turns his head away to smile. a faint blush rested on his cheeks before he stops you both.
he lets go of your hand before using it to turn your head to him to place a small kiss on your lips again. when you pull back, "you still suck." he leans in to kiss you again but you just shove him. "ugh shut up!"
you speed walk ahead of him, "you're the one who sucks!" he just laughs, "don't leave me behinddddd!!" to which the response he got back was getting flipped off.
as you keep walking ahead, even though he could easily catch up with his lanky long legs, he just runs and jumps on your back, yelling out, "piggy back ride!"
you stumble forwards, holding onto his legs making sure he doesn't fall over, "you idiot, we could've fallen!" you laugh, and he just wraps his arms around you, careful as not to choke you, and kisses your head, "but you love me so even if we fell you'll forgive me."
"yeah, yeah, whatever." you grumble, adjusting him on your back. and he grins, snuggling his face into your neck, loving the sweet smell of (whatever you smell like that's good) and shutting his eyes.
"i love you too." and he can basically feel the grin stretched onto your face.
i accidentally deleted most of the work so now it's not even good :( it literally looks like i shat in my hand, gave it to you and called it writing.. the first version was so much better 🤐
anyways tags for the lovelies that have been waiting months of this <3 @ari-hatake15 @chuuberrysworld @solialuna @kazuahhh @voidsatoru <3 @loquia @mykyoon @i-be-teff @arminsgfloll @4evahevah @the-devilskid @ys2800 sorry if i didn't tag you some of them aren't showing up :(
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luveline · 11 months
Note
Miguel and Spider-girl not being official yet, but spending a lot of time at his place. He notices another Spider-man being very friendly and flirty with you, but you’re so sweet, you don’t even notice. He gets grumpy and one of the girls points it out, but it makes your heart swell, assuring him later that you’re his, even if he isn’t ready to make that official step yet.
hope this is OK!!
You tend to wake up before Miguel, and you slink out of his bed and his room without saying goodbye for the day if you have things to do. You have a training course hosted by Lady Spider at lunch time, so the chances of Miguel seeing you for hours on either side are slim.
Slim, but not zero. 
It's just after lunch when Miguel's taking the elevator down to Spider-Woman's laboratory when he sees you out on the floor. There are variants of you around, you're nowhere near as common as Peter Parkers or Gwen Staceys, but sometimes he'll see different versions of you hanging about the cafeteria. There are a few who, like you, adore him from the very first moment they see him. There's one who clearly wants to twist him up like a pretzel. But he knows it's you, and it would be shameful if he didn't, having spent so much time around you, having kissed you, felt your naked shoulders under his hands.
He doesn't think, he just clicks the stop button on the elevator and waits for the doors to open. 
You're not great at making friends. Pretty much every Spider person is a little weirdo, but you perturb the imperturbable with your flirting and your niceness, he assumes. You come off rather suspiciously at moments. He himself didn't trust you as far as he could throw you at first (though admittedly he could throw you quite far). 
Which is why he's pleased to see you in company. You and a couple of other rookies are milling around one of the training gymnasiums. The keychain of your phone hangs out of your pocket, purple translucent beads against your black thigh. You've been having a great time making jewellery lately, and he should know —no matter how well you clean, he finds beads and metal eyelets on the floor and occasionally in the sheets. 
"I can make you one," you're saying, clearly delighted at being asked. 
"You would?" asks a Spider-Man. Miguel doesn't know who he is, only that his suit looks vaguely similar to Peter B.'s, and… he's standing quite close to you, actually. 
Miguel stops walking. 
"Who is that?" Lyla asks. 
"Shouldn't you know?" he asks her. 
"What, like I'm some sort of intelligence model that knows everything about everyone?" 
Miguel doesn't have the cheer to laugh. His presence is like a rippling wave, a mixture of proud smiles and scared glances shot his way. He barely notices, his attention on you and your admirer. 
You and Miguel are sleeping together, but it's more than that. You spend hours together every day. He all but admitted he's infatuated with you, and you've been obviously embroiled in his disastrous personality since the moment you met him. You don't care that he's made pages upon pages of terrible decisions, you still deign to sit in his lap every evening, stroking hair behind his ears while you talk about everything but whatever it is between you.
He's never been scared about the exclusivity of your situation until right now. 
"It's not so hard, it just takes time," you say. 
"Don't put yourself down! You have talented hands, I can tell." 
You preen very sweetly in Miguel's opinion. It's not often he sees you shy. It's a shame the compliment you've perceived and the one Spider-Man is laying down aren't totally equivalent. 
"Thank you so much. You know, my– Miguel, we have matching charms," you say, beaming. 
"Miguel," Spider-Man says worriedly, "as in, Miguel O'Hara." 
"Yes!" you say happily. 
"Yep," Miguel says, with altogether too much satisfaction. 
Spider-Man looks at him with wide eyes. Miguel isn't proud, but he glares, as if to say, If you know what's good for you. 
"I'll see you later," Spider-Man says, shoulders slouched forward as he walks away. 
You give a cheerful goodbye and lean into Miguel as you do, your hand touching his hip. "Did you hear? He said my keychains are awesome." 
"I heard. Are you coming up with me?" he asks. 
Your smile turns playful. "Do you want me to?" 
"I think Miguel definitely wants you where he can see you," Lyla says.
Miguel bats her like a moth, to her annoyance. She whizzes around his head, her white coat fluttering from the simulated force of her movement, before pretending to kick him in the jaw as she disappears. 
"What does that mean?" you ask. 
"It doesn't mean anything. I want you wherever you want to be."  
"Oh. Well, I like being with you," you say, "so we all win. Are we going to the lab?" 
Miguel nods and can't summon any words to say that won't give him away. He leads you to the elevator, and together you stand in the centre of the glass box looking down at the inner workings of the Society scraper. It looks more like an ant hive than a spider's nest, wriggling bodies moving in waves from one place to the other. 
He tries not to be sullen with you. Punishing you for decisions he has or hadn't made isn't his style, but he can't help falling silent. You deserve to be complimented, fawned at, praised for your keychains. They're great. You're great. 
There's no reason for you to choose him over any other person who might want your affections. 
"Is something wrong?" you ask. 
"No." 
"Yes," Lyla says. 
"Nothing is wrong," Miguel says. 
"Well, if I did something–" 
"You didn't do anything," Miguel and Lyla say at the same time, their voices varying in level of joy. "Miguel's just jealous," Lyla finishes.
Miguel would prefer that the elevator crash down a thousand floors than have this conversation. Luckily, the elevator opens, and he spears ahead toward his laboratory and away from your prying questions. 
"Why are you jealous, handsome?" you ask, taking doubly quick footsteps to keep up with his large strides. 
"I'm not jealous." 
"What's wrong, then?" 
"Nothing." 
"That blows. Don't be a coward," you tease. 
"I'm not being a coward," he says, laughing. He loves and hates how you lift his mood. 
"I didn't think so. You're going to tell me what's wrong, I can feel it," you say, grabbing his wrist in your hand. 
He's thankful Lyla read the room and disappeared, but he knows she's listening. He sticks his tongue in his cheek for a moment. 
"We aren't… you have no obligation to me," he says. 
"I don't think that's true." 
"Well, you don't." 
"What, because we aren't on paper?" Ah. Lackadaisical you may be, but you're just as smart as anyone. You wrap your arms around your stomach. "So you have no obligation to me?"
"That's not what I'm saying." 
Your sudden spike of insecurity fades. "That's sort of how it works, Miguel." 
"You don't have to be stuck with me," Miguel says. "That's all." 
"Good thing I'm not stuck." You begin walking again and Miguel takes your cue, following behind you in a daze he isn't proud of. "I quite like being with you, unstuck. We don't have to call it anything or anything, but you don't have to feel grumpy about my lack of obligation." 
"Qué maravilla. You have it all figured out, huh?" he asks, though inside he's more than relieved. 
"No!" you say through laughter. "Of course I don't. I know you, though. And you have me." 
Your hand clamps onto his shoulder and you go on toes to kiss his cheek. You need a little help; Miguel dips his face toward his shoulder to give you better access. You kiss his cheek.
"I might tell Peter I can't make him a keychain, after all," you say. "I– I think he might have been flirting with me." 
Miguel nods, his smile painfully tight. "You think so?" 
Your laughter fans out across his cheek as you give him a second kiss. 
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togrowoldinv · 11 months
Text
Best Closers In The City
Lawyer!Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader
You are an associate to some of the most successful attorneys in the city. You’re invited to a special dinner with the partners. What happens when one of them asks you to be her mentee?
Warnings: Smut! 18+ please! Kissing, cursing, very muscular Natasha, degrading, overstimulation (sorta), strap on sex, oral (N receiving)
Natasha Romanoff Masterlist 1, Natasha Romanoff Masterlist 2, Main Masterlist
When you got the job at Romanoff Danvers & Maximoff, you had no idea what to expect. Everyone said it would mean working over 40 hours a week without much praise, but you didn’t care.
You wanted to work for the best law firm in New York City.
You met Danvers, Carol, first. She is alluring, no doubt about that, but she is also brilliant. The woman has a reputation for cleaning up messes quickly and keeping the city safe.
You met Wanda Maximoff second. She oversees the associates, so you see a lot of her. She has the kindest smile you’ve ever seen. Despite being one tough litigator, she is genuinely kind and always asks you how you are doing. Not in a way to make small talk, but like she truly wants to know.
And that leaves Natasha Romanoff. You have seen her around the office, usually early in the morning or late at night, but you haven’t spoken to the woman. There is a sense around the firm that you don’t speak to Natasha unless you’ve made partner or she speaks to you first.
But you really want to talk to her. She is the managing partner, something you long to be one day. Plus, she is gorgeous. You would be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about her in a slightly less than appropriate capacity.
Sometimes she would leave the office with a man or woman waiting for her outside. It was never the same person twice. You wondered what it was like to be them.
When you get to work today, Wanda waltzes into the bullpen with a notepad in hand. She prefers not to use technology.
“Good morning! As you all know, tonight is the annual partner dinner. Carol, Natasha, and I have been observing you all for a while now, so we would like to formally offer the following list of you an invite to the dinner,” Wanda announces.
She is met with chatters of excitement from all of you young, aspiring attorneys. None of you knew when this day was going to come, but here it is. Your chance for a seat at the table.
“I know, I know, it’s very exciting,” Wanda says, a chuckle escaping her lips. “Now here are the associates that will be joining us. Peter Parker, Kate Bishop, and Y/n y/ln.”
You fight the urge to stand up and do a happy dance. Instead, you share a smile with your fellow invitees and accept congratulations from others.
“See you all at 8!” Wanda says. She leaves the bullpen.
“I wonder which one of them picked which of us,” Peter says once the woman is out of sight.
“What do you mean?” You ask.
“Each partner picks an associate. At least that’s what Mr. Stark told me,” he explains.
“Oh, I hope Natasha picked me,” Kate comments. You all laugh.
“Natasha doesn’t speak to any of us, and Carol doesn’t either for that matter. I bet Wanda picked all of us,” you reason.
“Just wait and see where we are placed to sit tonight,” Peter says. “I bet I’m right.”
You forget about the dinner mostly as you dive into your work for the day. But what Peter said does linger in your mind as you gather your bag before walking to the car that is taking you all to dinner.
You figured dinner would be at some restaurant, but the car arrives at a house. A huge one with glorious architecture. There are lions on either side of the entrance. A dark wooden door is up the stairs.
“Holy shit,” Kate speaks for the group as you walk to the door together.
Peter rings the doorbell and the door opens almost simultaneously. Carol is on the other side, a glass of wine in her hand.
“Hello! Come on in,” Carol greets the three of you.
“This is a very nice home you have here, ma’am,” you say.
“Oh, I wish I could take credit for this place. It’s Natasha’s,” Carol explains. “Follow me and we’ll go into the dining room.”
You follow the blonde. Your eyes wander around the house as you admire how perfectly put together the house is. There are very few personal decorations, but there are so many objects that you can imagine have meaning to Natasha.
When you enter the dining room, there are place cards at the table. One for each of you. You sit in your assigned seats and Carol scurries off to the other room to gather her fellow partners.
They file in one by one. Carol sits across from Kate, offering her a smile. Wanda sits across from Peter. And that leaves the seat across from you open. If Peter was right, then that means Natasha chose you.
She is last one to walk in. She sits in the chair across from you and looks up at you through her eyelashes. The woman is even more beautiful up close. Her red hair cascades over her suit lapels and her green eyes shine in the dining room lights. You wonder what that jacket is hiding.
You are admiring her when Wanda begins speaking, “Thank you all for joining us tonight for this very special dinner. And thank you to Natasha for graciously letting us have the dinner at her beautiful home.”
Natasha offers Wanda a nod and a soft smile. One of which Wanda happily returns.
“It’s truly a unique and sought after experience, so I do hope the three of you leave tonight with more knowledge about your chosen career. We picked you from the fine cloth of other associates,” Carol explains.
She looks to Natasha to continue the spiel. You all watch her intently and wait for her to begin.
“Yes, as Carol and Wanda said we invited you three here for a reason,” Natasha says. Her voice is velvety just as you hoped it would be. “It should also be noted that while we all are going to speak to each other tonight, there is also another element to the dinner.”
Subtle glances are shared between you, Kate, and Peter.
“We have decided to improve the tradition and give you each full access to us. You’re sitting from across from the partner that has chosen you to be their mentee, if you so choose to agree,” Natasha explains. She looks you directly in the eye as she says her next words. “And you will agree.”
There is a certain harshness to her tone that you don’t know if it turns you on or scares you deeply. You think it’s both.
Soon, the food is served and the group talks intently. Things about the firm come up, but you find that the women don’t only want to talk business. You see the way Natasha does not offer as much personal information as the others, but she throws in a couple of comments here and there.
After dessert, you are practically itching to ask when you get to learn more about the mentor and mentee relationships. Carol puts you out of your misery when she announces that that part of the night begins now.
“We’ll go to my study,” Natasha says to you. She stands up from the table and leads the way. You can’t help but notice the way her pants hug her backside.
When you enter the room, she closes the door behind you. You take a look around. The walls are lined with bookshelves except for one area where there is a stained-glass window. Pink roses are painted with a landscape of green around them.
Natasha notices you admiring it. “It’s one of a kind,” she says.
“It’s beautiful,” you comment.
“Thank you,” she says. She walks to her desk and gestures for you to sit in the chair on the other side.
You sit, but she remains standing as she takes the suit jacket off. You notice the way the buttons strain against her chest, and her arms are noticeably toned even through the mid length sleeves she is wearing.
“You might want to stop staring,” Natasha says, pulling you out of your trance.
“I’m sorry,” you rush out the apology.
“Mhm,” she hums. You can’t read her, so you don’t know if she was flattered or upset by your stares. Your nerves are at a high. “So, y/n, what are your career goals?”
“I want to- um- well- I want to make partner one day,” you say.
“That sounds reasonable,” Natasha remarks. She stands up from her desk and walks around to your side. Her hands grip the desk and she leans against it. Once again, your eyes rake over the tight-fitting shirt. “Why family law?”
“It seemed like the path where I could do the most good,” you explain.
“And that’s what you want to do? Good?”
“Yes ma’am,” you say. “Why did you-”
“I’m asking the questions, y/n,” she interrupts you, standing at her full height again.
“I’m sorry,” you say.
“You’re too quick to apologize,” Natasha scolds you lightly.
You don’t know how to reply. She walks to her drink cart in the corner and pours herself a shot of what you presume is vodka and she swallows it quickly. You watch her every moment before she turns back around. You avert your gaze.
“Y/n,” Natasha says. She invades your space, her hand gripping your chin to force you to look up at her. “Do you know why I chose you to mentor?”
You try to shake your head, but her grip is too firm.
“No, I don’t,” you speak softly.
Natasha grins wickedly as she keeps her hand on you. Only she moves it to the side of your face, her fingers arching over your neck and touching the base of your hairline.
“I chose you because I think you’re intelligent. And you’re capable and hard-working,” Natasha explains. You feel your cheeks burning from the compliments. “But you’re also naïve, and you’re a bit of a pushover.”
Oh. There it is. Your eyes burn as you fight back tears, cursing yourself for being unable to handle criticism.
“I don’t tell you this to upset you, y/n,” Natasha says, her voice softening just a hair. “I can help you be better. You have the instincts. It’s just that someone needs to toughen you up.”
“Okay,” you say. “How did you- nevermind,” you remember you aren’t the one asking the questions.
“How did I what?” Natasha inclines you to continue.
“How did you even know all of this? You don’t speak to us associates.”
“Oh, I may not speak but I’m always listening,” Natasha says. “And trust me, sweetheart, I see everything.”
You shiver at her words. Everything means that she might have seen you watch her leave all of those nights. You avert your gaze, and her hand grip strengthens again.
“Tell me, y/n, have you been watching me?” She knows the answer, so she doesn’t bother waiting for you to speak. “Since you have been, maybe you would like to see more of me?”
“I- um-” you can’t formulate words.
Natasha releases you from her grasp and steps back so you can see all of her. She starts slow, unbuttoning her shirt. Each button strains and your eyes follow her movements. Her hands are deft as they move against her shirt purposefully.
When she gets to the last button, she looks you directly in the eyes and pulls the shirt away from her body. That uncovers her chest and her arms. Your eyes don’t know what part of her to look at first.
“Don’t just sit there,” Natasha says sternly.
You stand up quickly and she takes your hand. She brings it to her abs. Your other hand follows. You brush your hands over her abs, an undoubtable eight-pack, and she smirks. You move further up to her abdomen to her rib cage area and run your hands over a couple of tattoos.
Natasha didn’t seem like the type to have these, but they make her impossibly hotter. Your hands skip over her bra-covered chest and move to her biceps. The woman flexes her arms, and you feel weak in your knees.
“Do you like what you see?” Natasha asks, her voice is deeper than usual.
“I do,” you say. “Can I?”
She knows what you mean, and she reaches behind her own back to unhook her bra. The garment falls to the floor. You take one breast in your hand as you move your mouth to the other. You look up at Natasha as if asking for permission. She nods and you place your lips around her nipple.
You suck thoughtfully and lick around the perky buds, switching between breasts. Natasha makes beautiful sounds as you do so. When you kiss down her abdomen, she lets out a gasp. You fully intend to worship her entire body.
“Take off my pants, baby,” Natasha instructs you.
Your fingers work to unbutton and unzip her suit pants. Kneeling in front of her, you pull the pants down her legs. For some reason, you expected her to be wearing panties, but she is wearing black boxers. Her thighs are muscular and your urge to be between them increases when you notice the bulge in her boxers.
“Fuck Natasha,” you mumble. She lets out a chuckle.
“Did my good, sweet associate just say fuck?” She teases.
You answer by pressing kisses against the skin of her thighs that are revealed. Nat gets impatient and pushes her own boxers down her legs. All that she’s left wearing is a strap.
Natasha takes it in her own hand and directs it towards your mouth. You comply quickly and suck the cock. She moves her hips faster with every passing second, loving how you take the thick length.
“That’s it, sweetheart,” she says. “God, I’ve wanted to have you kneeling for me since the first day I saw you in the office.”
You groan at her words and continue your ministrations. That is until Natasha needs more, and she pulls you up by your shirt collar.
“Take off your pants,” she tells you. “Now.”
Nat doesn’t wait for them to reach the floor before she has you bent over her desk as she enters you from behind. It’s easy from how wet you are from the entire evening.
“You take my cock so well, baby,” she says, her mouth right next to your ear. “I know you’ve imagined this too.”
“I have,” you admit, your voice broken from the pleasure she is bringing you. She moves in and out of you, hitting you right where you need her every time. Her arms hold you tightly against her.
When Natasha places a few kisses on your neck, you whine, and her grip tightens.
“I’m gonna- fuck Nat- I’m gonna come,” you say.
“Come for me, sweetheart,” Natasha says. “Tell me how good it feels.”
You groan out a string of incoherent words as you come for Natasha. She feels the slick against her strap as she continues to take you from behind.
“Too much, Nat,” you mumble when she still hasn’t stopped her movements.
“Come on, baby, you can take one more,” Natasha says firmly. “You want to be good for me, don’t you?”
“Yes- fuck- yes ma’am,” you reply.
It doesn’t take long for you to come again. This time she relents and pulls out of you. Your head is fuzzy from the overstimulation, but you’ve never felt so good.
Natasha releases you from her grasp and you turn around to face her. She has an almost goofy grin on her face, and you know she is pleased with her work. But you remember she hasn’t come yet.
“May I take care of you?” You ask her, reaching for the strap again.
“I think you’ve earned it. Go ahead,” she says. Nat takes her own initiative to take the strap off of her hips.
You once again kneel in front your mentor, but this time you waste no time burying your face between her legs. You collect her wetness with your tongue and make quick work of finding her clit.
“Fucking good,” Natasha mumbles as you lick and suck. She holds onto your shoulders as you continue. It feels good to make a woman so strong feel weak in her knees.
You hum against her, and she is almost over the edge. All it takes is for you to add one finger to work in tandem with your mouth and she is coming hard against you.
After cleaning her up, you stand up to face her again.
“Come here,” she says, pulling you by your hips into her hold.
She kisses your lips slowly at first. Her tongue brushes against yours. But she picks up the pace and you’re left breathless from your first kiss with the woman.
“So, what did you think?” Natasha asks.
“I think I want to do that again,” you say, dumbstruck from the events.
“In due time, y/n. Right now we need to get dressed and say goodnight to everyone,” Natasha says.
She turns to look for her shirt and it’s then that you notice the tattoos on her back.
“Roses,” you say aloud. Your eyes glance back towards the window.
“Roses,” Natasha turns back to you and says. “You wanted to ask why I chose family law.” She puts the shirt back over her arms and back.
“I did.”
“My sister,” Natasha says. “We were separated as kids. I am still trying to find her. In the meantime, I can help other people.”
“And was she named Rose?” you ask, hoping you aren’t pushing.
“Her name is Yelena. But she loved roses, so I guess it’s my way of feeling connected to her.” You haven’t seen her speak this softly about anyone.
“That’s really beautiful, Natasha,” you say.
“Yeah,” she says. “Do you maybe want to stay for a little while after everyone leaves?”
“I’d love to,” you say, a smile on your face.
“Good because I want to snuggle,” she admits. You share a chuckle and finish getting dressed together.
You leave her study and everyone goes about their way except for you and Natasha. You stay at her house and learn everything about her. Talking all night, sharing kisses, and a couple more rounds of intense sex, you have a perfect time with her.
This isn’t what you expected out of working for Natasha Romanoff, but you will take it.
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would you write Eddie x reader where he's like, dropping everyone off at night and reader is last, when the kids are gone she takes her bra off because it was definitely hurting her aaaaand Eddie notices that she's got pierced nipples? NO NEED to make it smutty if u don't feel like it, just curious about his reaction? lol thanks <3
reader is 18 in this, and obviously, minors dni!
———————
Another fun evening was had at Hellfire Club, and you & Eddie were ready to wind down at your place. He dropped some of the other members off at home first, and your house was the last stop on his tour. Eddie had been your close friend since you were eight and he was ten, and you did everything together: D&D, drama club at school, drugs, booze, you name it. Every chance you got, the two of you were always together—usually getting into some drug- or booze-induced shenanigans. When you weren’t doing that, you were doing the exact thing you were doing tonight, which was going home to chill out together on the couch or in your room.
You loved being around Eddie, and it far exceeded just friendship for you. The thing was, you had always harbored a little crush on him, from the moment you’d met him all those years ago. In fact, for the last few years, that crush had turned into all-out love. He didn’t know, of course; you would rather gouge your own eyes out with a hot poker than ever tell him and risk losing him.
You & Eddie sat in your living room, with the TV on and drinking beer that Eddie had smuggled into the house. There was a show that neither of you were paying attention to, some kind of weird sitcom that was neither of your tastes. You were sitting close together, as usual, practically cuddling as you mindlessly took in the show and drank. Your parents were upstairs, probably in bed or watching TV themselves, but they didn’t come down to greet you when they heard you return home. Since their car was outside, it told you they probably turned in for the night. That left you & Eddie completely alone, which could be either a good or bad thing, depending on the mood the two of you got into.
Things started off innocently enough. The two of you discussed the new campaign, how your classes were going, what your weekend plans were, all the usual topics. You were digging around your chest almost the entire time, trying to fix the discomfort that your bra was causing. It always annoyed you to wear one, but you had to; without it, your nipple piercings were going to be extremely noticeable, and you couldn’t have that in school. Nothing helped, and short of taking it off, you had no relief whatsoever. But it was becoming ever clearer that removing it is exactly what needed to be done, with no other choices available.
Eddie is in the middle of talking about his favorite part of the campaign when you do it. You unclasp the bra under your shirt, sliding your arms into the sleeves to remove the straps, before pulling it from the bottom of your shirt. Eddie stops talking and watches you closely, his doe eyes wide in surprise as he sees the bra land on the coffee table. His eyes trail back to you, but they don’t find your face again. They are transfixed on your chest, and on the unmistakable impressions of nipple piercings that are pressing against the fabric of your Hellfire Club shirt. He swallows thickly, running a hand over his cheek as he tries so hard to look away. You chuckle, unable to help it, and he turns his gaze with a light blush dusting his cheeks.
“It’s okay if you noticed,” you say. “They’re kinda hard to miss when they aren’t in the bra.”
“I…” he says, swallowing again as he finds your eyes. “I didn’t mean to seem like some kind of fucking perv. I guess I'm just more surprised than anything else. Why didn’t you ever tell me that you got them pierced?”
“I guess I didn’t think it was that big of a deal,” you say, glancing at your chest. “I haven’t had them pierced for long. They’ve healed nicely, but sometimes they’re still a little sore.”
“Well, they seem very….um….” Eddie began, and you could tell that he was clearly flustered. “They seem nice. Probably got someone good to pierce them, huh? I hear those can be really hard to do.”
“Yeah, the guy who pierced them did a good job,” you say, and you can sense a shift in Eddie at the mention of another man. His jaw and fists clench, and he looks to the floor. You laugh, reaching over to run your fingers through his hair. “Aw, what’s the matter, Eddie? Are you jealous that another guy got to see my tits?”
“No,” he says, but he’s lying. You can always tell; after ten years of friendship, it wasn’t as if he could fool you. “I’m not.”
“Mmm hmm,” you say, then teasingly add: “You know, I’ll let you see them, if you want to.”
Eddie nearly chokes on the drink of beer he had just taken, and wipes his mouth on the back of his hand after thumping his chest. “Sorry, but I’m going to need you to repeat that. I need to make sure I heard you correctly.”
“I said,” you repeat, brushing some hair back from his shoulder before ghosting those fingertips over his neck, “you can see the piercings, if you want to.”
“I don’t want it to be weird,” Eddie says, looking at you and leaning closer into your touch. “Will it be weird?”
“Only if you make it weird,” you say, your hand on the back of his neck and tangling into his hair. “It’s just boobs, Eddie. I’m sure you’ve seen your fair share.”
“Well, yeah,” Eddie says with a soft smile. “But these are yours. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying no. As long as you swear this won’t ruin anything between us, or make it awkward.”
“I don’t think it will,” you say, reaching for the hem of your shirt and slowly lifting it. “You can always change your mind before I get it hiked up, though. Tell me if you do, okay?”
He nods quickly, pulling the corner of his lip into his teeth. You keep moving the shirt up little by little, until your breasts are fully exposed to him. Eddie sucks in a breath, his eyes unable to leave them. He took in the shape of them, the way your nipples looked, and how the piercings gleamed in the lamplight of the living room. His breath caught, and he exhaled in the form of a shaky “fuck.” You laugh a little, biting your own lip as you watch him admiring your chest. You can tell that he’s enjoying it, and that whatever worries he had about this being awkward were long gone. In the front of his jeans, you could see the unmistakable outline of a forming erection.
“What do you think?” you ask, smirking.
“They look fantastic,” Eddie says, his eyes still taking in your breasts. “And I guess the piercings are nice, too.”
You laugh a little louder at that, and feel even more boldness coming over you. “Do you wanna touch them? You can, if you want to; I won’t mind.”
Eddie’s eyes flickered to your face, and they widened again. “I can?”
“Sure,” you say, taking one of his hands in your free one. “Here. I’ll show you that I’m not kidding.”
You place his hand over your right breast, and he hisses at the contact with your skin. His lips part, his brown eyes already filling with lust as he kneads experimentally on your skin. You whimper pleasurably under his rough palm, feeling a rush of heat in your cunt as a response. He mewls softly, taking his other hand and placing it on the opposite breast. He ghosts his thumbs over the nipples, against the piercings and your sensitive skin, and you cry out at the touch. Ever since getting them pierced, the sensitivity in them had increased tenfold, and that little brush of his thumbs nearly had you up the wall with pleasure.
“Eddie…” you sigh, squeezing your thighs together to dull the throbbing ache that was settling between them.
“Are you okay?” he asks, looking at you worriedly. “Do you need me to stop?”
“God, no,” you say with a breathless chuckle. “Please don’t stop.”
He gives them a light pinch, and when he sees you reacting positively, he does it a little harder. You grab onto his arm, moaning and biting your lip to quiet yourself a little. The last thing you needed was for one or both of your parents to hear, and come down to investigate. Eddie massages circles onto your nipples, before cupping your tits and pressing them together, massaging them, and bringing his face close to them. He looks up at you through bangs and lashes, smirking as he does so. His lips travel from your breastbone to your stomach, and then back up, his eyes never leaving you for a moment. More wetness starts pooling in your panties, and they cling to you as his soft, plump lips continue pressing your skin.
“You know,” he says, nuzzling his way between your breasts before leaving hard, open mouthed kisses on your sternum. You tangle a hand in his hair, head tipped back as you moan hotly. “Not trying to sound like a creep, but I always knew you had some amazing fucking tits.”
You laugh, and that boldness from before takes over again. “Oh yeah? Well, I always thought your dick would look fucking amazing pressed between them, or just rubbing on them, or a combination of both. Whatever you would prefer.”
He shivers violently at that, groaning against your skin. “Fuck, y/n…”
He wraps the tip of his tongue around one nipple, still looking at you as he does so. You meet his gaze with a shiver, pushing some hair from his eyes as his tongue swirls the metal of the piercing. “I’ll bet you would love to cum all over them, wouldn’t you? Seeing me with it all over my tits, maybe even on my chin and tongue if you’re the type of guy who can really shoot one off.”
“Jesus, that’s…” Eddie breathes, giving your other nipple the same treatment. “That’s hot as shit.”
“Wanna do it?” you ask, and he shivers again. You can feel his cock, hard and throbbing in his pants, against your leg. “I think you do; the thought of it is getting you rock. Fucking. Hard. Isn’t it?”
“Yes, fuck,” Eddie hisses, pulling your nipple between his lips and sucking rapidly. He tugs it in his teeth, and you moan loudly, clamping your lips shut to keep silent. He toys with the other one, two fingers pinching the nipple & playing with the piercing. He draws back to look up at you, one hand settling on your waist as he tries to pull you closer to his body. “How does it feel? Does it still feel good?”
“Mmm hmm,” you breathe, grinning at him. “It feels so good, Eddie. You wanna know how good?”
“Yeah,” he says with a quick nod as he moves over to the other nipple for equal treatment.
“I’m so wet right now,” you say, your nails grazing his scalp as your hand deeply embeds in his long brown hair. “Mmm…I really want you to see just how fucking wet.”
“Please, let me see,” he practically whines, his lips pressing all over your chest in desperation as he ruts against your thigh. “Or let me touch you, or anything you want. Please, fuck…”
“Hang on,” you say, unbuttoning your pants and taking his hand. You guide it inside your drenched panties, where he groans at the feeling of your warm, wet pussy. “Feel that? You’re doing that to me, Eddie. It’s all you.”
“Goddammit,” he breathes, bucking himself harder against your leg with a low moan. He circles a finger around your entrance, before moving to your clit. You shiver and mewl as he rubs circles against the small bundle of nerves, head falling back again. He rapidly flicks his tongue over one of the piercings, before pressing the tip of his finger inside of you as an experiment. “I’ll bet your pussy tastes fucking incredible, and I’ll also bet that you would feel good squeezing around my cock.”
You groan filthily at his touch, chuckling as his free hand plays with your breast. You pull his head up by his hair, gazing into his eyes for a moment before kissing along his cheek, his jaw, and finally reaching his ear. Your teeth tug the lobe, a smirk on your lips as you whisper: “Why don’t you take me upstairs and find out?”
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avatar-anna · 5 months
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Assistant! Reader x Harry Styles Masterlist
April 2016
“Thank you for meeting me.”
Y/n settled into the seat across from Harry. Her hands curled tightly around her mug, apprehension seeping into her bones. “Of course.”
She had been surprised when Harry called her, asking to meet at the Beachwood Cafe. She hadn’t heard from him in months, not one call or text, not even an email. Not that Y/n really expected much when One Direction finally went on hiatus, but after zero communication, she wasn’t quite sure why he’d called her all these months later. 
“How are you? I haven’t seen you in ages,” Harry asked.
Y/n’s eyebrows raised a bit, but she answered him anyway after taking a sip of her coffee. “Fine, I guess. You?”
“Good!” Harry said excitedly. “Taking a break the last few months has been…I don’t know. Peaceful, but odd, you know? I’ve never had so much time to myself before.”
“Must be nice,” Y/n said, trying to hide the irritation in her voice.
“Yeah, but I realized that I kind of miss it,” he said. “I knew once we decided on the hiatus that I wanted to do my own thing, but I thought I would take a longer break, but I feel like I’m…itching to get back to work.”
That definitely seemed like Harry. Y/n had worked for him for years, and even when there were breaks between tours, he was hard at work—writing, going to Fashion Week, collaborating with other artists, vocal training, even trying new recipes in his state-of-the-art kitchen, which led to a phone call at one in the morning where Harry asked Y/n to come over and see if his macrons tasted "fluffy enough." It seemed only right that he rested for mere months before starting a new project. She could practically picture him at either of his homes in LA or London, scribbling in his leatherbound journal or playing new melodies on his guitar or piano (and the occasional late-night pastry party). As long as she’d known him, Harry had been a hard worker through and through. A little on the wild side when he had some tequila in him, but when it came down to his career, he was focused, determined. 
“Good for you,” Y/n said, meaning it. She always thought he was capable of more. “So what comes next for you? Have you recorded songs already?”
“Not quite. I’m planning a trip to Jamaica to write and record there. It’s remote, serene, a good place to get away. So we’ll have to start booking flights and places to stay and—”
“I’m sorry, ‘We?’” Y/n asked, her brow furrowing with confusion. 
Harry matched her look of confusion with one of his own. “Yeah, I mean—I need you. I can’t do this without you.”
The sentiment warmed Y/n’s heart for a moment, but his immediate assumption that she would drop everything just because he asked her to brought the irritation swarming back. “Mr. Sty—Harry, you know I don’t work for you anymore, right?”
“What do you mean? Are you talking about the hiatus? I just thought we could all use some time off, but…I guess I just thought—”
Harry didn’t finish his thought, but his cheeks were flushed with embarrassment. Y/n would’ve found it cute if he hadn’t been so dense. Resentment still circled around her like a fog, and she wouldn’t let it go so easily, she couldn’t. 
“I was employed by your management, Harry. To be an assistant to a member of One Direction,” Y/n explained. “I was let go. I had to quickly find another job doing something else.”
“Oh.”
Y/n supposed she should’ve anticipated being fired, but she didn’t. There was a lot of information that she was privy to that most people weren’t, secrets that were tightly bound by an NDA when she was first hired, but talks of the hiatus was very hushed. She knew to suspect that somewhere down the line the boys would finally take a break, but it came a lot sooner than she was prepared for, and she was left jobless before she had the chance to line something else up. Y/n thought that Harry would give her the courtesy of a warning, but he said nothing about it to her, didn’t offer much except a side hug after One Direction’s last performance.
So yeah, she was a little bitter.
“I’m—I’m really sorry, Y/n. I know it doesn’t make up for…all of this and everything you went through, but I am truly sorry.”
“Thank you.” 
Y/n believed him, believed that he was sorry for everything that went down, but it still hurt to know she wasn’t someone he was close enough to talk to about all of this at the time. She was Harry’s assistant, she knew that, but they’d been through a lot together. But he was ever the professional it seemed, and it was her job to remember that, not his.
When she realized her coffee was finished, Y/n stood up. “Well, it was good seeing you, Harry. Good luck on your next project. I’m sure it’ll be great.”
“Wait, but—you’re not—you‘re leaving?”
“I have to run a couple errands before work," Y/n explained. She rested her hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. “But really, no hard feelings. I wish you all the best.”
She left Harry at the table, heading for the front of the cafe and toward the busy street beyond. Her heart felt heavy as she walked away, but she tried to shake the feeling that she was walking away from more than just her boss. Former boss. Like her mother always reminded her, she couldn’t be a personal assistant forever.
“Wait!”
Y/n turned on instinct, eyes widening as Harry jogged after her, his little bun bouncing with each step. He skidded to a stop in front of her, green eyes wide and searching. For what, she wasn’t sure, but the heat of his gaze was enough to make butterflies stir in her stomach.
Putting on her best front, she raised her eyebrows, waiting for Harry to say whatever he needed to.
“I wasn’t kidding earlier. I need you, Y/n,” he said. “I—You’re the only one who really knows me, who I know will have my back no matter what. I need a familiar face in my corner.”
I need you, Y/n. Those words were her kryptonite. Year after year, Y/n heard Harry's voice over the phone as he roused her from sleep, read the text messages while she was getting her nails done or watched TV in her hotel room, or on the rare occasion she went on a date. But she had to hold strong. Y/n had been devastated by her sudden layoff, but now she had a life, and she didn't want to get sucked back into Harry's very alluring web of charming smiles, cheesy jokes, and endless adventure. That was his life, not hers.
“I have a job, Harry. I can’t just drop everything and quit because you suddenly want me to—”
“What are they paying you?”
Y/n’s brows furrowed. “Excuse me?”
Harry pushed on. “What are they paying you? I’ll double it.”
Scoffing in disbelief, she said, “It’s not about the money—”
“Triple,” he countered. Harry took her hand in his and squeezed it. He looks desperate, Y/n thought.
“I can’t just quit my job because you remembered I existed,” Y/n said quietly, pulling her hand out of his. She clung to her resolve, hoping Harry would make this easy and just let it go, let her go. “I—I deserve more.”
More of what, she wasn’t sure, but Y/n knew it was true. Harry only reached out because he needed something from her, and that hurt more than she cared to admit. 
“You’re right. I’m sorry,” Harry said, looking down at his shoes. A pair of scuffed Chelsea boots he wore practically everywhere. Y/n had bought him a pair of Vans one year, an attempt to switch up his wardrobe, but he still chose the boots nine times out of ten. “Just—At least think about coming to Jamaica. Please?”
“Harry—”
“Not as my assistant. As a guest. A friend,” Harry amended. “We’re planning on staying at a huge villa, and I want to make up for being an idiot. Just—Just think about it. Please.”
Despite everything, Y/n found herself wanting to say yes. It was that magnetic pull she felt toward Harry that had kept her working for him for so long. He was an important person in her life, and up until he’d all but ghosted her after the hiatus, she thought she was important to him too. In spite of his misgivings, Y/n still wanted to believe that she was. 
It was so stupid, but it felt good to be wanted by him. She was an idiot, she knew that. But her friendship with Harry was legitimate, he'd just acted like a complete idiot. She'd known him long enough to know he was very capable of acting like an idiot. So even though she shouldn’t, even though she had carefully lined up her reasons not to in a little line, she started to cave. 
But she couldn’t make the decision now. Not when Harry was looking at her with pleading green eyes and his sad little puppy dog face, his cologne dizzyingly lovely. No, she owed it to herself to really think about what she wanted. If getting sucked back into that whirlwind was worth it. Worth getting her heart properly broken when she knew he would never feel the same about her.
"I'll show up at work, you know," Harry said. "I'm not above it. You might think I am, but I'm not."
Y/n had no doubt in her mind that he would. Along with being an idiot, Harry was very stubborn, and very persistent. She had years with him to know that. Did she really need Harry Styles showing up at her place of work?
“Fine, I’ll think about it,” she finally said, trying to pretend like her heart was screaming to just agree. But her heart was an impulsive little shit that was bound to get her in trouble.
Harry’s face broke out into a wide grin, one that displayed those famous dimples and lit up his entire face. It was hard to feel like he didn't think she was the only person on earth to exist when he looked like that, like he was convinced she’d already said yes. “I’ll take it.”
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notafunkiller · 11 months
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you were mine just yesterday - co-written with @marvelouslizzie
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Summary: It's been a while since your break up with Bucky happened, but you're still not over him. You try to move on, go out, and have fun with your friend, Steve, but you end up in the same bar you two went to often. It also just happens that Bucky is there too, with Natasha by his side. It doesn't take long for you two to end up getting into old habits.
Pairing: exes!Bucky Barnes x female reader
Word count: 10.7K
Warnings: 18+, second chance romance, teasing, dirty talk and pet names, language, jealousy, fingering, nipples play, oral séx (the reader receiving), choking, clit play, metal arm, no condom (but they are both clean and the reader is on birth control), aftercare, alcohol (but she is not even tipsy), death mention, no mention of y/n.
Bucky Barnes Masterlist
Please, do not repost or translate without my permission! I really hope you’ll enjoy it, I can’t wait to read what you think.
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The screams he hears when he opens the door and holds it so Natasha can get inside first already make him regret agreeing to this. He absolutely hates crowded places, but at the same time the food is great here, and it's literally one street away from his apartment, he can suck it up a little.
“Come on, I'm starving.”
Bucky looks around, trying to spot anything and anyone that could be suspicious, but everything seems fine.
“You can't relax even for a second, can you?”
He rolls his eyes, but right before he can comment something sarcastic in return, he hears it... your laugh, followed by a strong smell of cherries, and he immediately looks toward the bar. There you are: dressed in a lovely shirt and your favorite pair of pants, with a huge smile on your face. You look out of this world but you aren't alone, no. His stomach aches at the sight of you sharing drinks with his fucking best friend as if nothing else matters.
“Bucky?” Natasha's voice isn't enough to make him tear his eyes off you. “Hey! You said you're starving.”
“What the fuck is this?”
Bucky’s voice doesn’t go unheard by Steve.
“Oh shit,” he mumbles. “Bucky is here with Natasha.”
The moment you hear Natasha’s name you feel like someone punched you in the guts. You instantly start looking around and it doesn’t take long until you finally see them together, standing there and looking for a place. Bucky with Natasha… Why doesn’t that surprise you? A better question: Why does it hurt that much to hear it? You should have expected this.
“We should go and say hi. They're staring.”
“Is this a fucking joke?” Bucky finally looks at Natasha with a deep frown. “Did you know this?”
“Know what?”
He finds it hard to speak as if something was stuck in his throat. “About... them.”
“I didn’t know they would be here.”
Bucky seems like he doesn’t know what to do. He's trying his best not to have a breakdown right then, because how could this happen to him?
“Maybe we should leave,” you say to Steve, feeling uncomfortable already. You are in no mood to watch Bucky and Natasha together. But when you make a move to stand up, Steve gently touches your hand to stop you.
“You can’t run away from him forever.” He’s right. You can’t. You don’t feel like facing them today, but you shouldn’t be the one running either. You slowly sit back down, feeling grateful that you aren’t alone.
“Can you suck it up a little, Barnes? I won’t act like I didn’t see them just because you can’t face your ex, who, by the way, is still our friend.” Natasha rolls her eyes at him, hiding her smirk and starts to walk toward the bar. “Plus, they look like they’re having fun.”
You notice Steve smiling, but you have no idea why. When you see Natasha coming toward you and Bucky following her like a puppy, you understand and try to fake a smile, too, before taking a big sip from your drink.
“Hi. What a coincidence, nice to see you here.” Natasha leans in to kiss Steve on the cheek, then you after you let the glass on the table.
“Hi,” you force the word out of your mouth as nicely as you can. It’s not that you dislike Natasha. On the contrary, you find her a smart, well-traveled, obviously, woman. You liked her opinions in most of the conversations you had, but it doesn’t mean you aren’t jealous of her when she’s around Bucky because of the same reasons.
“So nice to see you, Natasha.” Steve keeps the conversation going. “Bucky!” He tilts his head just a little to see him behind Natasha.
You don't dare to look, though. Your hands are already sweating. Seeing him so close would make your state even worse.
“Steve.” You close your eyes instinctively at the sound of his voice, but you open them when he mentions your name too.
“Hi.”
“What are you having? This looks sooo tasty.” Natasha has always been good at making conversation regardless of her feelings, and you never wished more than then to be like that too.
“Oh.” Steve casually stirs his drink with the cocktail pick. “It’s a cherry cocktail but it’s not on the menu.”
“Of course.” Bucky steps aside from behind Natasha and comes closer to you with a serious, unreadable expression. “The famous cherry cocktail.” His tone is dripping in sarcasm as he leans in and, without any warning, he takes Steve's glass and downs it in three seconds. “Less flavor than usual.”
You don't realize the death glare you're giving Bucky until you feel Steve's hand on your skin, probably trying to calm you down. You can’t believe his audacity. This is the man who broke your heart and left you and he thinks he can just come here and act like this? Hell no!
Bucky's eyes fall to your arm and leans in again, placing the empty glass down and taking two cherries from the cherries glass.
“It’s fine,” Steve says in a way that is extra calm.
“Yeah, it is fine.” You find yourself agreeing immediately. “I can get them to make you a better one.”
“Well, I am curious now.” Natasha gives you a warm smile. “Or do we interrupt something?”
“I can order you one, as well, if you want.” You offer with a fake smile on your face, ignoring her implication. You can feel Bucky’s gaze on you even though you aren’t looking in his direction.
“No need. Come on, Nat. I’m starving.”
Nat…
“You sure?” You are only looking at Natasha and ignoring Bucky. “I can talk to the bartender and he can bring you the cocktail. He’s a good friend, he wouldn’t mind.”
Bucky puffs, shaking his head.
“You okay, Buck?” Steve can't help but ask.
“Yeah, are you okay?” You try to look as casual as possible.
“If I weren't, would you offer me a drink made by your good friend, too?” His eyes and voice don't tell you much. He asks you this in the most casual way possible. Even Natasha looks surprised.
“I think you need something stronger.” Your eyes are wandering to Natasha for a second. “Since you already tried it and didn’t like the cherry cocktail that much.”
He shrugs, not denying what you said despite it being a huge lie. Then he smirks and looks at Natasha and Steve. “I assume you don't mind us joining you, right? I'm starving.”
Of course he doesn’t ask you. He knows your answer and still decides to do this. Okay, if that’s what he wants…
Steve turns his head to you, asking you indirectly if this is okay, and you nod, trying not to look affected. Especially when he sits next to you with Natasha on his left.
You instinctively move away from him and closer to Steve.
Bucky starts to take off his jacket as he speaks. “I'm not gonna eat you, you know?”
“Hmm?” You give him a look.
“I'm not into human meat, don't worry.” He takes off his gloves. Your eyes immediately fall to his hands and you feel the sadness spread inside you. It’s so overwhelming to be around him, yet you don’t want to give him the pleasure of seeing how hard this is for you.
“I’m aware. I’m just more comfortable like this.” You reach for your drink and take a sip, turning your attention to Steve. “Should I order a new one for you or would you rather drink something else?”
Bucky puffs. “He can order for himself. He is over 100 years old, doll.”
You ignore Bucky’s comment and look over to Natasha. “Do you wanna try the cocktail, Natasha?”
She hesitates, looking at you and at Bucky, and you try not to roll your eyes.
“Do you have any suggestions with strawberries? I love strawberries.” She points to Steve. "He does, too."
 “I’m more of a cherry girl, but we can ask my friend. I’m sure he has some good suggestions.”
“Such a close friend”
“Yeah.” You ignore Bucky and raise your hand. The bartender gives you a smile before coming closer.
“Hey. Is everything alright?”
“Everything is fantastic. I just need another one of these.” You raise your nearly empty glass. “And Natasha wants to ask for your recommendations for a drink with strawberries.” You point at her while saying her name.
He gives a few options and both Steve and her agree on one.
“What about you?”
Bucky looks at him bored. “A burger: chicken, extra pickles, please.”
“Any drinks?”
“Your cheapest beer will do.” You respond instead of Bucky, and he immediately gives you a questioning look and lifts his eyebrow. But he doesn’t seem to care, and the bartender just nods and leaves.
 “So,” Natasha starts. “For how long have you two been hanging out?”
Steve looks at Bucky. “We never stopped hanging out.”
“Why would you?” Natasha winks at you, and Bucky feels he is going crazy. Many images of you and Steve laughing, walking together, even kissing take over his mind.
“Exactly.” You smile in response.
“What about you two?” Steve asks with a mischievous smile on his face.
“What about us?” Bucky asks immediately, giving Steve a hard look. “Do you want to gossip with the ladies present?”
 “That never stopped you before.” You didn’t intend to say it out loud, but it’s already out there.
Bucky's head instantly turns to you. “What?”
“I said that never stopped you before.” It’s too late to back out so you decide to go for it. Bucky usually doesn’t care who is around. He says what he wants to say when he wants to say it. So your presence shouldn’t stop him.
“I heard you the first time. I was waiting for additional explanation.”
“Oh, good. I thought your hearing was getting worse for a sec.” You just look into his eyes. “You always say what you wanna say. So why would us being present stop you now?”
“My senses are perfect, thank you for your concern. Natasha and I are hanging out, too, obviously.”
Your bartender comes back with the drinks and that stops the conversation. He puts your drinks by one by, saving Bucky’s beer for the last.
“We’re out of our cheapest one so I brought the second cheapest. I hope that’s okay.”
 “I'll survive,” Bucky murmurs.
“Your burger is coming up in five minutes.” And with that remark, he leaves you four alone.
“This tastes amazing,” Steve smiles, squeezing your hand, and Natasha immediately agrees.
“Yeah.”
“Glad you like it.”
“Want to try it, Bucky?” She asks him with an innocent smile, which makes your blood boil.
Bucky shakes his head and drinks from his bottle. “Ah, this tastes too expensive.”
“You’ll survive,” you whisper, imitating his tone.
“Oh, I will.” He gives you the most charming smile you've seen in a while and takes your glass to take a sip.
“Will you stop drinking other people’s drinks without asking them?” You can’t hide how done you are with his entitled ass.
 “You'll survive, I'm sure.” He mocks you without a care in the world. You can feel the tension increasing, but you have no idea what to do. You can’t control your reactions, and he keeps pushing you.
“Oh, I will, but…” You move closer to him just a little. “If you need… you know… some help you can have a drink on me.”
 “Hmm.” He chuckles and moves closer, too immediately catching on to what you meant. “Don't worry about it, I am sure Nat would cover me.”
“I am sure she would.” You smile back, fighting the urge to roll your eyes and break the glass into tiny pieces, so you just put your drink in front of him. No way you are gonna keep drinking that.
“Hey, Adam!” The bartender looks at you from a bit far away. “Same drink, please.” He winks first and then nods.
Bucky frowns and downs the drink, trying to look unaffected. “You had no problems sharing drinks with me before.”
“Now I’m more careful about what I put into my body.”
Steve tries to mask his laugh by fake coughing, but you notice anyway. So Bucky must do it, too.
“I can see that. You don't mind sharing drinks with my best friend now.” He gives you a bitter smile for the first time in ages. The way he emphasized the word drinks makes you wonder what’s running through his mind.
Adam comes back with his burger and side dish, and you feel your mouth water. “Enjoy and let me know if you want anything else.”
Bucky takes a big bite from his burger as you reach out to his fries and take a couple without a care. If he can freely drink your cocktail, you can steal some of his fries.
Natasha and Steve look at you surprised.
“What are you doing?” Bucky asks, chewing loudly on purpose.
“Taking some of your fries.”
“Thought we don't share drinks and food anymore. We moved on from that. We passed that stage.”
You remark his and Natasha's closeness again and feel your blood boil.
“So it’s okay for you to do it, but it’s a problem when I do it?” Yet you take another fry and put it inside your mouth, looking directly into his eyes. You want him to know this is not about fries or sharing stuff.
Bucky's surprise is visible all over his face. He's simply speechless even after Adam brings you your drink and you give him a forced smile.
“Thanks, Adam,” You say like everything is fine. “I will use the restroom. Would you keep an eye on my drink for me, Steve?”
And you leave without waiting for an answer.
You go to the restroom, lock your door and sit down. You just need a minute alone because all of this is too much for you. Seeing him with Natasha tonight is hard enough, but he keeps challenging you. He acts like nothing is changed, but everything changed when he decided to walk away. Even though you don’t wanna admit it, your feelings for him are still there and they’re making everything harder.
You take a couple of deep breaths and remind yourself this was going to happen one day. It just happened to be today and you can get through it. You’ll be fine.
You get up, unlock the door and just wash your hands, splashing some water on your neck, too, before you look at yourself in the mirror. At least you are looking alright.
You jump when you hear the door opening and turn around just to see Bucky locking the door again.
“This is the ladies’ room!”
He looks at you as if he can't understand what you're saying.
“I said this is the ladies-”
“I heard you the first time. What the fuck do you think you're doing?”
You puff. “I should be the one asking that question.”
“I am not here sharing drinks with your best friend, am I?” He walks toward you.
“No, you are here with Nat.”
Bucky washes his hands in response, not understanding how you can compare Nat with Steve. You are here on a date with his best friend.
“Have fun with Nat and stay away from my drinks.” You leave the ladies’ room, but he’s right behind you.
“I wasn't finished with you.”
“That sounds like a you-problem. I have a drink that’s waiting for me.”
“Just be honest and say Steve is waiting for you.”
“Just like Nat is waiting for you.” You look like you are tired of this conversation already when you snap.
“Are you having fun, doll? Are we bothering you? Did you want to enjoy your date all alone?”
You make a face when you hear the word date. So that’s why he was acting like that. He thinks you are on a date with Steve. “What I do with my life is none of your concern! Just go and enjoy your own date.”
“None of my concern, right?” His calm facade is finally falling. “You are on a fucking date with my best friend!”
“Oh, so that’s why you decided to be an ass? Because you think Steve picked up the toy you threw away?”
When he gets so close to you, you feel like you're suffocating. “Careful.”
“Or what?”
“You forgot what happens?”
“Oh,” you say in a mocking tone. The audacity he has! “Well, too bad you don’t get to do that anymore.”
“Does he do that?” He closes his eyes, still too close to you. “Do you let him touch you? Is this why he isn't around?”
You raise your hand instantly, wanting to slap him right there for crossing a line, but you manage to control yourself, remembering his past. You see him closing his eyes instinctively and you sigh. You might be mad at him, but you wouldn't hurt him like this. He is not a bad person… And you don’t wanna bring his trauma back.
You take a deep breath and retreat your hand.
“Maybe he isn’t around because you are an ass, did you consider that?”
“Why him?” He opens his eyes. “I would take all of your slaps instead of living through this.”
He sounds so weak, and tired, and sad. There is a part inside you that gets angrier because he thinks so low of you, but there is another part that understands and wants to assure him you would never do that to him.
“Why him what? I’m not dating your best friend, Bucky. Pull your head out of your ass!”
He freezes. He really freezes and lets out a deep, deep breath as if he's been holding it for a long time. His forehead drops until it meets yours, and you gasp surprised.
“I was going insane, baby. I felt like my life was just...”
You take a step back, not letting yourself enjoy his touch or his baby. “It doesn’t change the fact that you are here with Nat.”
“What about Nat?”
“What about Nat?” You repeat his question. “Did you forget she’s waiting for you? Or the fact that you suddenly left me? Me not dating Steve changes nothing. So stop calling me baby or doll or whatever charming pet name you come up with.”
Bucky laughs humorlessly as he shakes his head. “You think I'm really with Nat? You think I could ever replace you? That I'd even try?”
“Then why the fuck did you leave me?” You are so close to shouting, but you still don’t want people to hear you. Your eyes are getting filled with tears.
 “Why do you think, huh? Do I look happy to you? You think I'd leave you to date Romanoff?”
 “Why not? She’s perfect!”
Bucky looks at you dumb-faced. “For who? For what? Why do you...”
“For you! You two are a perfect match!” You take a breath, trying to contain your emotions. You don’t want to cry in front of him.
He is instantly touching your arms again, making you shiver. “Why would you say that?”
“Because even if you aren’t dating now, you will realize how perfect she is for you eventually. So go back inside. Don’t let her wait.” You sniffle, your head is slightly shaking because of all the emotions you are holding back.
His flesh hand grabs your chin and you feel his hot lips on top of yours before you can react.
The way he kisses you makes you wanna cry even more. It reminds you of everything you tried so hard to forget yet never managed to…
Even though you want to give in, you take a step back. You can’t handle another heartbreak.
“Don’t…” The tears start to fall down. “Just don’t.”
“Do you not want me?” His eyes are teary, too, and there is nothing to hide anymore. But he can't ask this, he can't do this to you. He is unfair. He left you, he broke it off. He...
“Do you have any idea how much you hurt me?” You try to dry your tears with the back of your hand. “You can’t just come back, kiss me and expect everything to be fixed!”
 “I am so fucking sorry, baby. I wasn't trying to hurt you.” He stops himself and sighs. “I really don't deserve you. I keep making you cry.”
“Saying sorry isn’t enough, Bucky. What did you think would happen when you left me? Did you think it wouldn’t break my heart? Is this what you want to hear? That you broke my heart when you left me? Here! I’m heartbroken because of you. Happy now? Can we go back inside now?”
“I just wanted...” He shakes his head, wiping off his tears. “Let's just get inside.”
“What did you want Bucky? Tell me. What did you wanna hear?”
“I'm not worth it, that's fucking clear. I am sorry for this whole mess I brought into your life.”
“Don’t ever say that!” You angrily point your finger at him. “You know how much I think you deserve. This is solely about you leaving me. You made that decision, remember? I opened my heart to you and you left me! Don’t make me feel guilty about getting hurt.”
 “Don’t you realize how dangerous it is?” He says desperately, looking you in the eye. “I would get you killed... we all would...”
“Really? Is that why you left me?” It angers you more than you imagined. This is probably the worst reason he could give you. Like you were safe before meeting him. As if he didn’t save your life.
“Bucky?”
You jump when you hear Natasha.
“What?” He snaps, looking at her. There is nothing in his eyes that can be even close to desire, you notice.
“Are you gonna come back or should we leave and let you cry for the rest of the night?”
“No, Nat, we're leaving.”
You grab Bucky’s arm and drag him out despite the shocked look on Natasha’s face, and Bucky just lets you.
“Pay the check. He's gonna transfer you the money for our order later,” you say casually while half of the restaurant looks at you.
Steve throws him his leather jacket without hiding his smirk, and Bucky catches it, giving him a typical Bucky look without saying anything.
“Where are we going?” Bucky finally asks when you’re outside and you let go of his arm.
“Your place obviously. Did you walk or took the motor like a lazy ass?”
Bucky rolls his eyes and puts on his jacket. “I walked.”
“Fine. So we are walking back to your place then.” You wait for him to move as he laughs and shakes his head.
“What?”
“You said that when we met too.”
You roll your eyes. He’s always been a stubborn ass. You remember him insisting the serum will do its job and he’ll heal faster, but you couldn’t just let him bleed, so you had to drag him to your place. “Just walk.”
“Bossy.”
“If I remember correctly, you said that when we met.” You don’t wait for him and just start to walk, trying not to think about what he said.
You miss his huge grin and his boyish look, but you hear his footsteps. He reaches your side in no time. “I missed you.”
You close your eyes for a second and try really hard not to say you missed him too. “I can’t do this again, Bucky. I can’t get my heart broken for the second time.” You sound like you are in pain.
He nods. “I didn't even think you’d want that.”
“I just don’t understand what you are trying to do.”
“You deserve to know the truth and the context, so you can stay away from us for good.”
You huff, but you don’t say anything. You two walk in silence for a while and luckily it doesn’t take more than five minutes to arrive at his place.
You get to his door and the familiarity is killing you. So many memories come to your mind and you're not even inside yet.
When you finally step in, it's like time has not passed: the TV, the couch... except for the sheet. The sheet is back on the floor.
“Are you sleeping on the ground again?”
Bucky sighs, taking off his shoes. “Can we ignore that? Let's focus on your questions. Do you want a glass of water?”
“Answer my question while pouring me a glass of water then.”
“The man who almost killed you when we met?” He opens the fridge and takes out the water bottle before directly handing it to you. “He's a part of the new wave of Hydra.”
You look at him, feeling completely confused. You don’t even notice the water bottle.
Hydra?
 “They might know about you...” He bites his bottom lip entirely, showing his frustration. “We managed to take a few down. They are careless as fuck, so young and dumb.” He just puts down the bottle on the kitchen counter.
 “You… left me… because you think they are after me because of you?”
Bucky looks away. “Does it matter?”
“Isn’t that why I am here? Because you wanted me to know the truth. So just tell me. Is that why you left me?”
“He knew your name, where you work, your family.” Bucky pauses, trying to control his anger. “He knew we were together. I have no idea how because you know... you know I never let my guard down. And what if they’d have gotten you? What if they do? You need to stay away from me, us.”
He can’t believe Steve or the rest thought it’s okay to continue to be around you.
“So you decided to leave me alone, be a more vulnerable target. Good job Bucky! Very well done!” You start to clap. “You are the dumbest person I have ever met.”
“Do you honestly think I left you unprotected?” Bucky puffs, as if he can't believe you'd ever think that.
“Then why did you have to leave? What was the point, huh? If they already knew all that stuff about me… about us… What the fuck was the point?”
“What if they kidnap you or kill you just have me back?”
You sigh. “You know that’s always a possibility in our world right?”
He hesitates before speaking. “What if they trigger me?”
You take a frustrated deep breath. There is no way they can do that again. No way! But if he thinks that, then it means he doesn’t trust himself or his skills. Again. “You accepted the defeat already.”
Bucky snaps immediately. “Do you not understand I could kill you? I could kill you and not even...” He closes his eyes unable to look at you as he speaks. He could not recognize you. He could make you suffer in the worst possible ways if you were his target.
“This is why I said you accepted the defeat already!”
 “I could kill you...” Bucky repeats so shaken.
 “You wouldn’t.” You’ve never been more sure in your life.
 “How do you know that? I almost killed everyone...”
 “You didn’t kill Steve.”
Bucky gets closer again, shocked by how calmly you talk about his worst nightmare. “I can't risk that. I cannot risk your life.”
 “So you would rather leave me alone and heartbroken.”
 “Yes.” His answer comes instantly. “If you're alive, that's-”
 “And go back to sleeping on the ground!”
“It's not like I sleep much anyway.” The way he says it... like it's not a big deal at all amazes you.
“You know what bothers me about all of this? Something I didn’t think you would do...”
“What?”
“You took my choice away.”
Bucky is shaking when he hears you, completely taken aback.
 “Instead of telling me about all the risks, you decided on your own. I would never do that to you.”
“I dreamed about this. I... I saw you,” he pauses. “I was choking you."
 “Not something you didn’t do before.” Your response comes instantly, without much thinking because the tension is killing you and you want to lighten the mood a little. “Choking, I mean.”
And he smiles. You make him smile and it feels like you won the lottery. “You quite liked that.”
“You did, too.”
“I did, you were very pretty.”
“You know that’s not what I meant.”
Bucky sighs, not knowing what to say. “I'm sorry for putting you through all of this.”
“There’s something else you should also apologize about.”
“What?”
“For taking my choice away...”
“I am sorry for that,” he says instantly. “But I don't regret it. I made the right choice.”
“If you don’t regret it, we don’t have anything to talk about. I don’t need your sorry.” If he doesn’t regret it, what’s the point of this conversation?
“Your life is worth everything to me." His voice is so soft as he speaks.
“I understand that, but it doesn’t make it any better.”
“I am sorry for not telling you." He keeps apologizing.
“You don’t regret it, though. So… I don’t know where to go from here. Maybe I should go.”
He tries to hide his disappointment. He's being unfair and he knows it. “If that is what you want... let me grab the hamlets and I can give you a ride.”
“I don’t need a ride.” You don’t want to be that close to him on his motorcycle. You can handle yourself. You wish things were different, that he had told you the truth. You would have to make him see things from your perspective, but he didn’t share anything with you. He pushed you away completely.
“No fucking way.” Bucky shakes his head. “You should know this by now.”
“You’re not my boyfriend anymore so you don’t have a say.”
“No,” he simply responds.
“The sooner you accept that you have no say in my life anymore the better.” He can’t keep acting like he’s a part of your life. You understand his fear, his good intentions, but he refuses to see the whole picture. You’re not safe either way and he still protects you. He could have done it and still be by your side.
Bucky comes even closer to you. “It's not safe. Did you not hear me until now?”
“So dropping me off is somehow safer? Do you ever hear yourself? You told me you left me because my life was in danger and you don’t regret breaking my heart. And now you wanna drop me home and make me a target again? Is sleeping on the ground killing your brain cells too?”
“I have a fucking metal arm.” He raises his left arm. “I didn't mean just Hydra's dumb men. I mean normal dumb men too.”
“I did not forget that you have a metal arm, but you did since you broke up with me. And you apparently also forgot that I can handle dumb men all by myself. You chose this! You had your reasons, I get it, but you can’t just come back whenever you feel like it, okay? You can’t go all passive-aggressive like you did to Steve because I am on a date. You can’t offer to drop me off. If you’d decided to get out of my life, stand by that choice. Since you don’t regret it, it shouldn’t be that hard.” With every sentence, your anger is rising. You don’t realize you say the words like you’re spitting them out.
“I did not mean it like that.” He ignores the comment about how you can handle yourself because there are limits to that. “I regret not being with you, deciding that for you if that's what you mean, but I don't regret making this choice for your own good. And you would have gotten bored of me anyway. I have too much baggage, too. You shouldn't have to deal with this shit."
You shake your head, absolutely crushed by his words. How can he think he’s so hard to love? How can he… “If lying to yourself helps with sleeping at night, go for it, but that’s not the truth.”
Bucky sits down on the couch. “You cannot deny I am right.” He sighs. “Let me call you an Uber at least.”
“You want me to lie and I can’t do that, Bucky. You were the love of my life. I would never get bored of you.” You don’t know why you are saying all this. You thought and think about him constantly. He wasn’t just your boyfriend, he became your best friend.
You can see the surprise and happiness all over his face right away. He's glowing.
“You were mine, too, I hope you know that.”
“I didn’t. Not until now.” You bite your lip, trying to hold back your tears. It’s just so hard.
“I wish things could be different, but I promise I'll keep protecting you.”
That makes something inside you snap. “It could’ve been different! But you chose this!” Your anger is suddenly pouring out. “I don’t want your protection. You are either in my life or out of it. There’s no in-between. Do you understand me?”
“No.”
“God, I hate you so much! I hate how stubborn and stupid you are! I hate that you never listen to me! I fucking hate how you make me feel!”
Bucky stands up. “Do you think this is easy for me? Do you think I don't want to talk and hold you and make love to you? Do you think it's easy, huh? No! But someone has to make these decisions! I won’t let you die because you're stubborn.” He's so red and angry. “I am not worth it.”
 “For fuck’s sake! I’ve had enough of this, okay? One second you tell me you have to stay away and another that you wanna make love to me. You treat me like shit and then kiss me! Why do you do that, huh? Why?” You don’t wait for a response, letting out everything you have been holding in. “I don’t fucking care if it’s easy or not. You know why? It wasn’t my decision. YOU DIDN’T LET ME CHOOSE YOU. So if you are suffering that’s on you, pal. My suffering is on you, too. Now get out of my way. I wanna go home.” You try to breathe and control your anger again, but it feels impossible.
“What do you want me to do? Risk your life?”
“I want you to get out of my way and stay away from me. I’m done with talking, arguing, and crying.”
“You won't see me.” He looks away as he promises you that, and you feel like crying more than ever. That's it? “But you have to promise me you won't see the others.”
“The others?”
“Natasha, Steve, Sam. We are all the problem.”
“Oh, hell no. Fuck no! No!” You point your finger at him, angrily. “You don’t get to decide shit anymore. Especially not about my life. You are done with making choices for me!”
“Did you not hear what I told you tonight? They should know better. I will have a discussion with them about it too. They are so stupid-"
“I don’t fucking care. Should I spell it out for you? Would that make it easier for you to understand? I DON’T FUCKING CARE! You don’t want to be in my life, fine. Your decision, but them… I’m not giving up on anyone.”
“Why are you so fucking stubborn? We are talking about death and life.”
“I made that choice the day we met, okay? When you fucking saved me. I’m way passed that point. They are my friends, too, and they will stay that way. This conversation is over.”
“I'll call you an Uber.” He murmurs, knowing continuing this would not a wise decision. He expected more from Steve at least. He knew how dangerous this is. At least Sam and Natasha seemed to understand.
You’re surprised when you see him suddenly giving you a funny look. “What?”
“I can't believe you really thought I could be with Natasha like that.”
Of course this would come and bite you in the ass!
 “I always thought you two would be a good match.” That was always on the back of your mind, thinking if they gave it a chance it would work amazingly. She is beautiful, powerful, lethal… and Bucky deserves the best. Seeing them together double hurt.
He gasps as if he can’t believe this. “What?”
“Why are you so surprised?”
“We were together and you thought I could ever replace you with her?” He sounds hurt and confused at the same time.
 “Yeah. I was sure that would happen one day.”
He stares at you completely blank for a while and you don't know what he's thinking. You were honest.
“And you say I gave up on us? You thought I am gonna-”
“It doesn’t matter, Bucky, okay?”
It does, actually, very much, but you’re so tired and hurt and simply without energy.
“Fuck it.”
You don't expect him to take you by the back of your neck and kiss you, surprising you for the second time on the same night. You don’t understand why this set him off or what he’s trying to do. All you can think of is how much you missed this.
He whimpers when he realizes you don't reject him and licks your bottom lip.
You wanna cry. You wanna hit him. You wanna push him away, but you also want to keep kissing him. You hate how conflicted you are feeling.
He closes his eyes, letting you go. “I don't know why I...”
You know how that sentence would end. You don’t need to hear it. He doesn’t know why he can’t stay away from you.
“So you are really that dumb.”
He stares at your lips. “Fuck, maybe I am.”
 “You definitely are, but I am dumber.”
You grab him by the collar and kiss him again. He doesn't hesitate to open his mouth and let your tongue find his, his hands grabbing your ass and bringing you so close that you feel his hard-on.
“Fuck.”
Everything feels overwhelmingly familiar and you missed this so much. You missed his lips, his taste, his touch, his smell… You grab his face with both of your hands and kiss him however you want, however you need.
“No one can replace you, alright?”
“Then what is the point of all this?” His face is still between your hands. “You want us to live in agony for the rest of our lives?”
“I just want to keep you safe, baby.” He kisses your palms. “I really don't want to risk your life. I couldn't survive!” He's haunted by that image of you dying, him killing you… He wouldn't be able to move on with his life.
“But I don’t wanna live like this.”
“How do you want to live?” He finally asks.
“I wanna be with you, Bucky, but you don’t let me. You don’t let me have you. You don’t let me move on. How am I supposed to live like this?”
 “You want someone else?”
 Seriously?
“I said all of those things and that’s what you heard?”
“I heard you, but it's all a mess. I am a mess. I would understand.” His tone is ice cold. He's so frustrating.
You grab his face with one of your hands again and force him to look you in the eye. “Would you really understand?” You question because you are damn sure he wouldn’t. “You would rather have me forgetting all about you and moving on than being with me?”
He seems to think intensely for a couple of seconds, contemplating, imagining different scenarios. You can feel his jaw clenching and you bite your lip.
“You know there is no turning back then, right?”
You don’t understand what he means. “Turning back from what?”
He kisses you as if that is the only answer he can give you. And kisses you. And kisses you until you feel the salty taste of his tears.
Your heart breaks seeing him like this. So vulnerable and tormented. You break the kiss, look at his face, and you feel yourself tearing up.
 “You're so fucking stubborn, baby.”
 “So are you.”
Bucky smiles, kissing away a few tears on your cheeks. “Can I have you?”
“You gotta work for that.”
That doesn’t seem to deter him. “Yeah? Good, I love working.”
“Yeah? Because it’s not gonna be easy.”
Bucky smiles sadly. “When do I like it easy?”
“I mean it, Bucky. You have to earn my trust back.”
He takes a step back. “And I mean it, I'm here to prove that. I know what a hard and long process it is, and I would never leave you alone again unless you are tired of me. I will protect you with my life, I promise.”
You can’t believe the switch he made. Finally!
“Good. Now come and kiss me because I missed you.” You finally admit it out loud. He’s being vulnerable, so can you, but he hesitates a little.
There’s something in his eyes, maybe it’s the willingness to do anything to earn your trust back, including holding back and waiting, but you don’t want to wait.
“I said gaining my trust will take time. I didn’t say I wanna wait, Bucky.”
“What's the difference?” He’s reluctant, not wanting to make another mistake.
“The difference is I am horny.” It’s been too long. You can’t hold back anymore.
A playful smirk takes all over his face as he comes closer to you. “Are you now? And what can I do about it?”
“I don’t know. What can you do?” You dare him like you don’t know all the things he can do.
“Depends.” His hands grab your neck softly.
“On what?” It’s astonishing how easy it is to fall back into habits.
“On the limits you want to set.”
“You know my limits.”
He looks at you surprised. “But do you trust me with this?”
“My trust issues aren’t over this, and you know it.” He always knew when and where to stop. Never made you feel unsafe. Your only problems are the way he left you and how his actions hurt you.
“Intimacy means a lot of trust,” he says but brings his hands down to your shirt anyway.
 “I know. If you didn’t turn into someone else during the time we were apart, I trust you with this.”
“I don't have protection.”
You give him a look. “If you don’t wanna do it that’s fine.”
He snorts, literally ripping your shirt in half, buttons flying everywhere. “Yeah, I totally don't.”
His actions don’t surprise you. You are used to him ripping your clothes. You just look at your teared-away shirt, amused.
“Sounded like many excuses to me.”
“Do you not see my fucking erection?”
You look down, smiling. “Oh, I do see it.” It’s not something you can ignore.
“You lied to me,” he says in a low voice, taking off your bra in a couple of seconds using his flesh hand.
“About what?”
“About Steve. You wanted to drive me crazy.”
“I didn’t say anything about Steve.”
Bucky raises his eyes from your boobs to your face. “You let me think you are dating him.”
“You assumed I was dating him because we were out together and he was trying my favorite cocktail.” You start to unbuckle his belt, incapable to wait any longer. You missed him and his cock so much you are aching. “Take off your shirt.”
Bucky groans in annoyance. “Don't remind me. You made it for him.” He sounds like a jealous kid. “Take it off yourself.”
 “Yeah, I was gonna make it for Nat, too.” You finally unbutton his pants and push them down without paying much attention.
Bucky laughs, tilting his head.
“What is so funny?”
He takes off his shirt. “Your voice is getting higher when you're angry.”
“And?” You raise an eyebrow, challenging him to continue.
“Did Nat piss you off or something?” He unbuttons your pants, too, as he asks.
“You piss me off.”
Bucky smiles. “You tend to say that a lot. Nat doesn't think that.”
“What does she think?”
He pulls down your panties and you're surprised a little. You expected him to rip them.
“I guess I don't piss her off.”
You grab his face and make him look at you. “I bet you are on your best behavior around her.”
Bucky bites his lip. “Maybe I am.”
“Now who is lying?” You grip a little harder.
“I don't know, doll. Who is lying?” He moans.
“You enjoy it, don’t you? Seeing me like this? Getting me all worked up?”
You feel his hands on your hips all of a sudden. “You're getting flushed when you're worked up. So beautiful.” He leans in, trying to kiss you, but you don’t let him. You push him back. “Couch or bed?”
“Couch, it's closer unless you want the bed.”
“If you fucked anyone on that couch, I’m not even going close to it.” You look at him in the eye while saying that. It makes your skin crawl.
He grabs your face. “If you think I did this, maybe we shouldn't do anything.”
“What? We weren’t together.”
“I see.” His voice is so low that you barely catch it. What you said goes both ways.
“Don’t go all grumpy and jealous again. I didn’t fuck anyone.”
He puffs relieved. “I'm not grumpy.” He kisses you desperately, though, lifting you at the same time until you wrap your legs around him, and carries you to the couch.
He sits down and his hands drop to his sides, letting you find a good position on his lap.
You push him on his back while trying to make yourself comfortable. “Lay down.”
 “I can't reach your tits from there.”
“Just lay down. You are gonna like this.”
He leaves a kiss on both of your breasts before doing what you said, waiting eagerly. You move closer and closer under your pussy is right above his face. He doesn't say anything, and quickly pulls you completely down as if you'd have changed your mind any second if he hadn't done it. You lose your balance for a second but quickly grab the arm of the chair for support.
His tongue is everywhere for a while before stopping on your clit directly. He teases you, though, licking around it, and you can't stand it. You move your hips, trying to get his tongue right where you need it, and he chuckles, sending small vibrations to your clit.
“Just stop teasing me,” you say impatiently. There’s no time for games.
You don't understand what he murmurs, but you feel his tongue finally on your clit at the same time he gets a finger inside you. That gets a loud moan out of you.
“It wasn’t that hard, was it?” You complain while he pumps his finger in and out.
You feel Bucky's vibranium hand making its way to your chest, and you gasp at the cold touch right on your nipple.
 “You always find a way to do what you want to do.” But you aren’t complaining. It feels really good.
He adds a second finger inside you just when you finish your sentence.
“Oh, fuck you!” You say after moaning loudly. He’s definitely doing this on purpose.
He doesn't hesitate to move his fingers in a fast pace, opposite to the way he is using his tongue, which you know he does on purpose. Old habits...
“Just lick it properly if you don’t want me to torture you later.”
He pinches your nipple in response.
“Just stick your tongue out.” You move yourself a little bit away from his mouth.
He opens his eyes instantly and frowns. “What are you doing?”
 “Taking matters into my own hands.”
His eyes glow and he immediately opens his mouth, sticking his tongue out eagerly. Then you grab his hair and lower yourself onto his mouth, gently riding it.
Bucky moans, keeping his tongue as flat as he can. He can literally die like this and he'd be the happiest man on earth.
You slowly pick up your pace, listening to your body and the need to come grows when he moans just because you tug on his hair a little harder.
His fingers start to move again, surprising you since you're the one riding his face.
It makes your knees shake; it becomes harder to move for a second.
“Oh fuck.” You curse loudly. “I’m gonna- come.”
He whimpers in approval and adds a third finger out of nowhere. You can’t say anything. The only thing you can do is moan while riding his tongue. Bucky keeps the same pace, squeezing your breast at some point until you finish all dizzy.
You take deep breaths, still holding onto the arm of the couch. Then he grabs your hips, lifts you up and you find yourself on your back. You yelp because of his sudden move. He kisses you before you can say anything and spreads your legs at the same time. You feel the wet tip of his cock right at your entrance and you moan, giving him access to deepen the kiss while raising your hips slightly so you can feel more of him.
“That was so good. I missed you so much.”
You stare at his wet chin and cheeks and smile. Your face is now wet, too, but you don't care as you kiss him again. You kiss him until you feel breathless. Then you look at him, still high from your orgasm.
“I think I should’ve been the one to say that.”
“I missed you so much.” He repeats as he pushes inside you,
“Oh fuck.” It feels so good, even better than you remembered. “I missed you, too!” You sound breathless.
“I fucked my fist a thousand times thinking about you.” Hearing that turns you on even more.
“Yeah?” So you weren’t alone because you thought about him. Only him. “I imagined my dildo was your cock like a thousand times, too.”
Bucky's thrusts are finally getting faster. “Yeah? Was it good?”
“Some great some underwhelming orgasms. Yours?” You wanna know so badly.
“Nothing can compare to your pussy.”
“Not even another pussy?” You want to push him, so you don’t hold back your question.
He grabs your face. “I'm inside yours right now and you wanna talk about other women?”
“You know what I want to hear.” And it’s definitely not other women.
Bucky's eyes soften a little as he kisses your nose. “I haven't been with anyone else. And no pussy can compare to yours. No one can compare to you, stubborn little baby.”
You don’t feel any shame when a loud moan escapes your lips. That’s exactly what you wanted to hear.
“Harder?”
“Whatever you want.” It’s like your mind suddenly switched off.
Bucky brings his vibranium hand to your mouth. “Suck then.”
You don’t say anything, you just wrap your lips around his finger and start sucking.
“Good girl.” He starts thrusting a little harder, enjoying the way you look so out of your mind. “My good girl, taking my cock so well. Did you miss it so much?”
You wanna say something, but your mouth is occupied. So you moan instead.
“A fucking sight.” He groans, taking his thumb out of your mouth despite your protests. “Never letting you go.”
“Oh, you finally made up your mind,” you say in a mocking tone.
“Gonna choke you with my cock next and we'll… fuck! see if you'll mock me then, too.”
“You can choke me now, you know.”
Bucky brings his flesh hand to your neck instantly and you frown. As much as you enjoy him finally slowly returning to his own habits, he's still being careful.
“Really?” Your eyebrow raises automatically.
“What?”
“If you’re gonna hold back, maybe we shouldn’t do this.”
He sighs. “It's been a while, I don't want to hurt you.”
“Can you even hurt me?”
Bucky stops mid-thrust and raises his eyebrow. “What?”
“I think you might be getting old. Or maybe the serum is wearing off.”
You didn't expect him to bite it so quickly, but he does, grabbing your thighs and finally fucking you harder. “Gonna make you scream.”
“You are definitely getting old.,” you say half breathless.
“I won't make you bleed, baby. We can go harder than this after you get used to having sex with me constantly again.”
“I meant your memory.” He’s going really fast and it makes it harder to speak. “You forgot what I asked for.”
“Want me to choke you?” He moans, realizing what you mean. “Beg for it.”
“Just choke me, old man.”
He says something, but you don't understand what, and when you feel the cold metal on your neck, you don't even care. You close your eyes in pleasure.
“Like this? Is this what you want?”
“Yeah.” The words barely leave your lips. It feels amazing.
“No dildo can replace my cock, can it?”
“No.” You shake your head. “Nothing can.”
“No other man, either, right?” You feel his wet kiss on your neck. “No other super soldier. Not Steve.”
“Steve?” You can’t believe he’s actually asking this. Is he that jealous?
“No one else.”
You grab him by the hair and force him to look at you while you speak. “I don’t want anyone else. Do you hear me?”
Bucky smiles. “I don't hear you. Can you repeat it?”
“You bastard!” You smack his chest with a big smile.
“Bastard?” Bucky laughs, slowing his thrusts.
“Old bastard.” You laugh with him.
“Fuck, I'm gonna make your ass red.”
“Make me come first,” you say in a challenging tone.
He squeezes the sides of your neck a little harder than before and the pressure makes you dizzy in the best way. “You're so wet for me. So fucking wet and perfect for my cock.”
Your mouth opens but nothing comes out. No words, not even moan. Bucky smiles when he feels your whole body trembling and a few of his hair strands fall all over his face. His flesh hand goes to your clit, circling it a couple of times in the middle of your orgasm.
“Oh my fucking god…” You murmur. It’s like your whole body is electrocuted.
“Can you take my come, baby?” He asks squeezing your neck a little more. “Gonna give it to you. Gonna...”
“Yes, please.” It is like a whisper, but you know he can hear you. “Please.”
That's all it takes for him to come. And come. And come. A lot, you can feel it filling you and probably dripping out on the couch because there's so much come. You kiss his forehead and hair, anything you can, still feeling out of this world. It's like you could fly.
You missed this... Feeling like being one with him. Sharing this high. It feels you with all kinds of emotions.
“God, I missed this.”.
“Of course you did.” You giggle.
“Did you not?” He fishes once again before bringing his head to your boobs and licking all over them.
“Fuckkk.” Your laugh turns into moaning. You want to push your breasts more into his mouth. “You have no idea how much I missed you.”
He sucks your right nipple in return. “Ihm.”
“If you keep sucking it I might come again.”
Bucky sucks even more, bringing his vibranium to your other breast.
“Move your hand on my clit,” you say after moaning loudly.
He does it quickly, making sure to tickle you before finally touching your clit. You giggle first, then moan when you feel his mouth sucking on your nipple while his fingers work on your clit. You close your eyes and let yourself enjoy this double stimulation.
“So soft.” You can barely understand what he says while still sucking. You take a sharp breath when your legs start to tremble. He's enjoying every single whimper of yours as he keeps moving his mouth and hand at the same time.
You love hearing the sounds he makes while sucking on your nipple. You run your hands through his hair and enjoy your high to the fullest until it feels too much. You grab his hair and move his mouth away from you.
“That’s… that’s… enough.”
“Why?” He sounds like a little kid.
“I’m… sensitive.”
Bucky takes his mouth off immediately with a pop and kisses you as an apology. You tremble under his touch once again, sighing right after it.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” It’s obvious that you don’t mind. You sound content and satisfied.
He completely gets out of you too while licking his finger. “Gonna get you a towel and a glass of water. And a blanket.”
“Why a blanket?” You look at him confused while Bucky stands up hesitatingly
“For you...”
“Did you sell your bed or something? Are we sleeping here?” You joke.
“I was gonna make you some fries...”
“Fries?” You straighten up a little, surprised.
“Yep. I think I have some pickles, too.”
“Okay.” A warm smile spreads on your face. This is the Bucky you remember. He smiles, too, and goes to the bathroom probably, but you hear his chuckle anyway.
*
“Come on, one more.” You try to force the fry inside his mouth, but he's a stubborn man.
“They are for you, baby. Eat!”
“If they are for me, I decide what happens to them and I want you to eat one more.”
Bucky rolls his eyes but takes the fry anyway. “Happy?”
“Very.” You take another fry and start chewing. “You know we should talk, right?”
“Well aware, yes.”
“Are we gonna or…” You’re hesitant because it feels good to be like this with Bucky after a long time, but you also know you should be talking and sorting things out.
“I was waiting for you to start.”
“The problem is I don’t know what to say.” Or where to begin. You feel like you’ve already said everything. Or better yet, you screamed it to his face.
“What do you want to know?”
“Are we trying again or are you gonna say this was a mistake?” It’s at the back of your mind. The fear of him leaving again…
“This could never be a mistake, love. I was simply trying to protect you the best way I knew. I will protect you.” He sounds genuine, but it doesn’t change how you feel.
“If you leave me again, it doesn’t matter why, you won’t have another chance.” Your tone is more serious than before. You want him to understand this. You can’t keep playing this back-and-forth game over and over again. You don’t believe in second chances, but this is an exception. The only exception you are ever willing to make because you understand his intentions, how his mind works, how his trauma still hits him. Dealing with Hydra again is a scary thing. You can’t imagine how he felt when he found out.
He looks at you so proud. “I know. I am lucky I got another chance in the first place. I am not even worth it.”
“Stop with the self-degrading talk, will you? I can’t stand it.” You always hated the way he talked about himself. He’s worth everything.
“But it's the truth.”
“I can’t believe you went back where you started the moment you left me. The self-degrading talk, sleeping on the floor…” It bothers you so much, like it’s somehow your fault, but you know it isn’t.
Bucky closes his eyes. He's not proud of it, but there is nothing he could have done to control it. “I am a lost case, I know.”
“Bucky,” you say in a surprisingly firm tone, and he opens his eyes back. “You’re worth everything, but you gotta believe it yourself first. I can’t magically make you see how wonderful you are. I don’t have that kind of power.”
 “Sometimes I feel it, but sometimes... there are some really hard days, you know?” He sighs. “The past I had, my Winter Soldier past, too, the mess... it's hard to believe I deserve some kind of peace, but I'm trying.”
You know he is.
“You are a wonderful person, especially when you are not an asshole who thinks he knows the best for everyone.”
“I'm a super soldier, remember? I'm used to making these kinds of decisions.” He gives you a small guilty smile.
“You know what soldiers are meant to do right?” You quickly continue without waiting for an answer. “It’s definitely not making decisions.”
“No?”
“No. Good soldiers follow orders.”
He smiles. “I'm a bad one, don't you know? The worst soldier.”
“Until further notice you are not allowed to make decisions.”
“It's not that simple.”
“No, it’s pretty simple. Don’t tire that beautiful head of yours. It’s not meant to make decisions anyway.” You try to sound like a 40s husband on purpose.
Bucky's head snaps to you. “You sound like my grandfather.”
“So you are familiar how this works.” You finally give him a smile.
“I'm gonna take care of you. No one will hurt you.” He still doesn’t get it, so you decide to explain.
“You will do whatever I say until I trust you to make your own decisions.” Your voice is firm. You don’t like it, to be honest, because you know this is super hard, especially for someone like him... giving away the control knowing everything he's been through, but what choice do you have?
Bucky frowns. “What does that mean?”
“It means if you want me back, you will let me decide on things for a while. You took my choice away and made us both suffer. Letting me decide is how you earn my trust back.”
His stomach aches. “I don't feel... what does that mean? There are many things, I can't just...”
You can see the panic so clearly and you realize how this must have sounded. “Calm down, Bucky. I don’t mean everything. Just things about our relationship.”
“Your safety is off the table,” he says without hesitation, and you’re surprised he doesn’t protest about something else. “You can decide on everything else.”
“Nope. That’s what got us here.” You sound calm.
“You don't understand the level of the danger.” His voice is trembling. “Everything but your safety.”
“You fucking left me over this, Bucky!” You raise your voice a little because what if he finds another Hydra member and tries to leave you again? “How can I trust you and accept this? How can I know you won’t do it again and say it is for my safety?”
“Conditions. Name them all, I am up for it, but I cannot play around with this. I couldn’t sleep for weeks because of it. Please... I need to be in control just in this aspect. I need to protect you.”
You think for a second. “You talk to me first. That’s the condition.”
Bucky leans in and steals your fry, agreeing happily immediately. “Done.”
“And you need to respect my decisions. Even if you don’t like them. I don’t like yours all the time, but…”
“When did I not respect your decisions? I think you are very bright and rational, usually.”
“When you didn’t even ask me and took a decision for me.” You look into his eyes daringly.
“Would you have stayed away from me? And I said usually.”
“I wouldn’t and it would be my decision.” He can’t use this against you.
“Why?”
“I could hide, I could act like we aren’t together, I could act like I hate you, but I can’t stay away.”
“We could never act.” He kisses your forehead.
“Fine. We could only see each other in secret then.” That was another possibility.
He smiles like what you said reminds him of something. “When can we have a date?”
“Tomorrow?”
“I hope you won't change your mind.” He grabs your head and you squeeze it.
“I won’t ever change my mind about you.”
You kiss him before placing the plate on the coffee table and resting your head on his chest where it feels like home.
986 notes · View notes
tiredfox64 · 2 months
Text
Too Late? You’re Still Young!
Prior notes: DILFS! I LOVE THEM! I LITERALLY HAVE A I ❤️ DILFS SHIRT! YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE? CONSENT! WE 👏 LOVE 👏 CONSENT👏!
Pairing: Johnny Cage (MK11) x Virgin! Afab reader
Warnings ‼️: NSFW, fingering, praising, nipple play, safe sex is sweeter, mating press, aftercare (is freaking important)
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So you spent all of high school and all of college with you virginity in tact. Impressive, but it wasn’t your choice. With a sheltered home life like yours you struggled to understand the dating scene. You were too afraid to have a boyfriend since you worried you would get in trouble with your family. You never had the talk before but your hormones were a big indicator that you were missing some important information about your body. You somewhat found the solution when you placed a pillow between your legs and it felt incredible good to you.
Through Sex Ed class and word around school you figured out what you were in need of. But to get it seemed so difficult. At least now you knew your fingers were a good option.
That frustration grew in you and you couldn’t voice it out. Even telling it to your best friend Cassie felt wrong. You’re almost graduating and you still have your v card! You can’t do this anymore. Maybe it’s time to ask Cassie for advice. Even if she can’t help you maybe one of her friends can. Two of them are engaged to each other you doubt they are waiting till after marriage. Heaven knows you can’t.
══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══
You went over to Johnny’s mansion since you remembered Cassie was staying with him for a bit. You knocked on the door and waited patiently with an anxious look on your face. It was Johnny who opened the door.
“Hey! I haven’t seen you in a while,” He paused for a second, “Woah, what’s up with that face?”
“Hi, Mr. Cage. Is Cassie here right now?” You asked sheepishly.
“Nope, sorry. She just went out with Jacqui. But you should still come in. I’ll get you something to drink.” He invited you in.
You went inside, taking your shoes off at the entrance like a decent human being. You followed Johnny into the kitchen where you sat at the island. He gave you a glass of water which you thanked him for before he started talking.
“So what’s going on? You don’t seem to happy. Let me guess, a professor gave you a bad grade.”
He knows you too well. That could be true but not at this moment. You did smile though which is the reaction he wanted.
“No actually, it’s more of a…body issue.” You tried your best to explain it without saying it out loud.
“Ah, shark week I’m guessing? That’s why you need Cassie.”
“No! No! It’s another kind of issue that I have a hard time saying.” Your voice grew quieter the more you spoke.
Johnny stayed patient. He waited to see if you would say it yourself. You were being vague so he really didn’t understand what was going on. You sighed before continuing.
“The thing is I’m still a virgin. It’s really embarrassing. I feel so frustrated knowing that my body needs something but I either don’t know what it is or I can’t get it.” Now he understands.
He stayed silent for a bit as he thinks about what you said. He would say it’s no big deal but he’s a man with a high body count so he shouldn’t be talking. Still, he doesn’t want you feeling bad about it.
“Cassie did tell me you were a bit sheltered. But I don’t see why it’s a problem. You’re a nice and intelligent girl and I would hate for some dick to take your virginity as if it was nothing.”
“Everybody says that to me! I know what I am and I understand I need a good man to do it with. But how will I know what is considered a good man if no one tells me.” You were really expressing your frustration.
You had a point and Johnny could see that. You were at risk of being misguided. Everyone is at risk of that no matter what but you had a disadvantage. He had an idea that might work out but it seemed so stupid. Hormonal stupid. He’s been deprived for a while now and getting the chance to have some fun is really tempting right now. But he doesn’t want to take advantage of your situation. It won’t hurt to ask.
“Alright listen, how about you and me…do it. I’ll show you how it goes and what a man should be doing to you. It’s up to you. I won’t force you to do anything.” He said calmly.
You froze up and your cheeks started to feel warm. You were surprised he would suggest something like that even though you knew of his flirting habits. Was it a good idea however? He is your friend’s dad and he is way older than you. You can’t deny though that he is still good looking for his age. Older does mean more experience, right? He’s been so nice to you too so you can trust that he’s a good man. Screw it, he’s the best option!
“You wouldn’t mind doing that? I mean I do feel comfortable with you, especially since I don’t have any guy friends.”
“Of course, but only this one time. Promise me you won’t tell Cassie, right? I get it she’s your best friend and best friends tell each other everything and whatnot. But she is still my daughter and I doubt she will be happy that I banged one of her best friends.”
“I promise. She will never find out.” Better make sure of that.
He nodded before taking your hand and guiding you up the stairs. It was exciting yet nerve racking. Johnny could sensed that and squeezed your hand to tell you it’s gonna be alright. He’s gonna take good care of you.
You two walked into his bedroom. His bed was large and comfortable which helped settle your nerves. He brought you over to the bed and had you sit next to him. He may be an expert in this but he has never really dealt with a girl who was so nervous before. He better take this real slow and talk you through it.
“Alright, first things first, a man should never go right into it. Foreplay is very important. It will help make the experience better for you and prevent you from getting hurt down there.” He instructed.
You had no idea what foreplay was but you trusted Johnny enough to not asking him about it. You were right to do so since all he did at first was kiss your neck. Already that was a lot for you. Each kiss felt like a little tingle that shot down between your legs.
Johnny’s hand was slowly tracing down your body till he got to the waistband of your pants. Your breathing hitched which alerted him you were getting nervous again.
“Shh, it’s okay. Remember I’m taking it slow. I won’t hurt you.” He whispered against your neck.
You relaxed a little as his hand slipped under. His fingers lightly touched your clit and you whimpered immediately. It felt way different than when you would do it to yourself. This is way better, probably cause you are receiving it from someone else. Johnny wanted to see how you were a little more down and was surprised at how wet you already were. He could easily slip his fingers in if he wanted to.
“Damn, you’re really wet. I’ve never had a girl get this excited so quickly.” He commented.
You were embarrassed by that. Barely touched and you are soaking wet down there. You turned your head away from Johnny to prevent any further embarrassment. He just chuckled lightly at your reaction.
“It’s not a bad thing. It makes it easier. You’re doing good.”
One of his fingers slipped into your pussy with ease. You gasped in surprise and pleasure. You never fingered yourself since you never felt anything from it. But you sure felt it now. That one finger slowly pumped inside you as his thumb rubbed your clit. You were keeping yourself together which was good. Johnny felt like you could take a little more.
“You think you can take another one?”
You nodded your head confidently. You wanted more anyways. Your body was in need of it. Now having both his ring and middle finger in you was like heaven. He went a little faster while his thumb kept rubbing your clit.
Your whimpers to turned to quiet, breathy moans. Now it felt too good. Without thinking you were trying to close your legs. You don’t know why you do it you just know you don’t want to make it hard for Johnny.
“Gotta keep your legs open for me. I promise it will be better for you if you do.”
You listened and tried your best to keep your legs open, spreading them wider than before. That should do it.
“That’s it, good girl.” He whispered.
Immediately you had a reaction. Your heart did flips and you felt warmth in your stomach. Johnny caught on when he felt your pussy clench against his fingers. Not surprising considering you always did seem excited by praise no matter what. He’ll keep that in mind when he fucks you in just a moment.
Your body grew hotter the longer this went on. It didn’t help that Johnny was so close to you. So close that his other hand went to the small of your back to support you. You didn’t know what to do with your hands so you were left clenching the bed sheets. Suddenly he asked you a very important question.
“Wait, now that I’m thinking about it, have you even had your first kiss?”
Nope, you didn’t even get that. You nodded no.
“Well I must look like a jerk. What kind of man am I,” He said comedically, “Let me help you with that as well.”
This must be some sort of dream. A dirty one at best. A dream where you are kissing your best friend’s hot dad as he fingers you. Even if you weren’t the best at kissing, Johnny was making it work. Thank goodness your lips were soft cause you’d be embarrassed if they weren’t.
This was all enough to send you over the edge. It really didn’t take much effort since you were so deprived. Your eyes were shut tight as you felt pleasure pulse through your body. You were moan against Johnny’s lips. He felt your pussy clench his fingers which was enough evidence to show he just made you cum. Damn, in three minutes? That’s a new record. To him that was impressive and boosted his already high ego. You were embarrassed, thinking that cumming too early was a bad thing. It’s only bad when it’s guys, you’re fine.
“I’m sorry. I thought I would last longer.” You apologized.
“There’s no need to apologize. It just means we can get to the really fun part now. Take your clothes and get comfortable on the bed.” He instructed.
Johnny gave you a quick kiss on the cheek before slipping his hand out from your pants. He wanted to make sure you were still comfortable. There was no need to feel embarrassed around him. The important thing is if you’re comfortable and still okay with this.
You took your time when taking your clothes off. Obviously you never stripped down in front of a man. Even when you would go to the pool you were nervous to take your shirt off. This was a big leap but you felt like you could do this. Deep breathes and take your time.
While you did that, Johnny went over to his bedside table to grab a condom. You could see how prepared this man is when you saw the long line of condoms he had. It’s been a while for him, they’re still good.
When you took all your clothes off you were quick to get on the bed and cover yourself with the blankets. He doesn’t mind he understands. He started to strip his clothes off and oh…wow.
You don’t care what anybody says he is like fine wine. He looks like he’s still in his prime. You couldn’t deny you felt yourself get wetter and you pressed your thighs together to alleviate the pressure down there. Then he took his pants off. Girl, you’re in trouble but a good kind of trouble.
You’re not mathematician or scientist but you can definitely say he was bigger than average. Was it supposed to be that thick? He saw how wide your eyes were and decided to tilt your head up so you could look at him instead.
“You should probably keep your eyes on me for now. Might scare you if you look down there for too long.” He’s not wrong but he sounds arrogant saying that.
He got on the bed and slowly pulled the blankets off you. You were still being shy which is fine. There is no need to rush into this he will make sure you are comfortable with going ahead. Plus, he’s gotta comment on those tits.
“You have a nice pair on you. Do you mind?” He was asking for your permission to play with them.
You nodded and he went in slowly. You felt his hands cup your breasts gently. His thumb rubbed against your soft skin. You were surprised by how calming it felt. Sure you were even more turned on but you also felt less nervous. Johnny came in closer and started to leave kisses all over them. At first it was gentle but then he decided he wanted to leave hickeys on them. Nothing too big but they were the perfect spot since no one will see them. It was definitely a new feeling but when you saw the marks he left on you, you knew you liked it.
You know what else you liked? When his tongue ran over your nipple. It surprised you but you soon relaxed again to the feeling. He sucked on your nipple gently, not wanting to overstimulate you just yet. His other hand went to pinch your other nipple which excited you more. Once again it was another situation where it felt better when someone else did it instead of you. With all this combined you started to grow needy. There was no sense of embarrassment or nervousness anymore, only this need to be fucked. You started to whine which let Johnny know you were ready.
“Alright, alright, I get you. Just give me a second, babe.”
It didn’t take long for Johnny to put the condom on, what a manwhore. He angled himself before holding your hand. It was for support.
“Just tell me if you need me to stop, okay?”
Then he started to push into your wet pussy. The feeling of being stretched out for the first time was deliciously painful. It’s not what you expected. You expected to be screaming and for a bunch of blood to come out. Nope, not at all. Inch by inch he slowly pushed himself inside of you till he was fully in. He didn’t start thrusting immediately since he knew you had to adjust.
“You okay?” He asked.
“I’m more than okay.”
“That’s good. You’re doing so good. So good for me.” Johnny started to give you kisses on your face which you appreciated.
After a few moments he started slowly thrusting into you. Your hand squeezed his but you never told him to stop. The pain slowly turned into pleasure. Finally, the pleasure of being fucked. Each thrust was another wave of pleasure through you. It was confusing at first, like your mind couldn’t comprehend something this good. Your body could.
Johnny started picking up the pace when no sign of pain was present in your face. You stopped having control over your moans. You weren’t being loud like a porn star. It was more like you couldn’t fake it even if you tried.
Damn, that’s what I sound like?
He didn’t want to push it too far but he was so tempted to pound into you. It’s been so long and you honestly felt amazing. He loved looking down at you and watching your breasts jiggle every time he thrusted in. You squeezed so nicely around his cock. He was trying to hold himself back from getting rough and you could see that. You wouldn’t push your lucky but your body says otherwise. Hormones are crazy like that, they will yell at you to do anything to get the pleasure you need. Your arms wrapped around his neck and your legs around his waist. You looked into his eyes and you said something that seemed so out of character for you but was what you truly wanted.
“Please go harder.” You begged.
“Fuck, are you sure?” Trust me, Johnny wanted to but he was still worried about hurting you.
You whined and wrapped your legs even tighter around his waist which let him know you weren’t playing.
“Alright, I get it. Never would have expected you to be so needy.” He teased.
He’ll do you one better. How about a new position? Nothing crazy but you will like it. He grabbed your thighs and pushed your legs back before putting you into a mating press. And you thought he was already deep enough. Good thing you are surprisingly flexible.
You really do need to keep your legs open more. It felt amazing to you when Johnny started pounding into your pussy. This position made it easier to hit that sweet spot inside you which you didn’t even know about.
You could hear a wet, squishing sound coming from down there every time he pulled in and out. Not only that but there was also the sound of skin slapping every time he rammed into you. It turned you on even more. You know why? Cause that’s the sound of being fucked, honey!
Johnny had a nice view in front of him. Listening to you moan for him as he continues to fuck you. You make him feel young again. He still has it in him. The energy to have fun with a girl and make her moan. Fuck, he is so glad he is doing this now.
You would be thinking the same but all you could focus on was how big he was and how all of that was slamming into you. At this point why hide any of your moans. No one is around and this is your first time. You should have as much freedom as you want. Get the full experience. You were keeping your eyes closed out of embarrassment but that won’t last for long.
“Come on, open those pretty eyes for me. Can you do that just for me, gorgeous?” Johnny whispered to you.
When he says it like that how can you deny. You slowly opened your eyes to look up at him. Sure you were still embarrassed but you realize that it was just hotter this way. The connecting that the eyes make. You’ve never seen a man look at you in such a way. A look that makes you feel desirable. There might even be some affection behind it. Because Johnny does care for you. Even if this is a one time thing he wants you to have the best experience and walk away with no regrets. It’s working for you.
It was all so much. The sounds, the feelings, the connection, the intimacy is all getting to you. Your nails started scraping against his back lightly. Your toes curled and your legs shook a little. Your eyes almost rolled back and your moans grew louder. You were about to cum and Johnny could see that.
“You’re gonna cum? You wanna cum, pretty girl? Go ahead. Just keep looking at me.” He commanded.
You kept looking at Johnny as he slammed into your sweet spot again. This orgasm was better than the last one. It felt like a heat radiated through your body. All your worries came undone just like you. Like a knot just unraveling in your stomach. You looked at Johnny with half-lidded eyes as you let out breathy moans. Damn, he could have came right there on the spot but he was holding himself together.
“Bet that felt good, didn’t it.” He teased before leaving some kisses on your face.
You knew Johnny would feel like a king after making you cum twice. He’s cocky like that. Ah, but you forgot. He hasn’t cum yet.
“You think you can go a little longer for me, baby? Just a little longer.” He asked to keep going so he can cum.
He didn’t wanna overstimulate you during your first time but it’s your call. You’re a trooper, you can go a little longer even though you are incredibly sensitive down there now. You nodded which made him smile.
He stopped pressing down on you which was a relief for your legs. He still kept them open. He started thrusting into you again, not as rough as when he had you in a mating press but it still felt great. He watched as his cock went in and out of your pussy. Your wetness coated the condom and it still made a wet sound. Oh how he wished he could just take it off and fuck you raw. Fell how warm you are and cum into that sweet pussy of yours. But that’s a stupid idea. One that young Johnny would make and he’s a better man than that. Still won’t stop him from thinking about it.
And that view of you, mwah! Watching your legs shake slightly from being overstimulated. Your hands gripping the sheets around you. Your breasts kept jiggling no matter how hard he pounded into you. He can see your eyes grow wet as you handle the sensations. All that combined with his little fantasy of cumming inside you sent him over the edge. One more thrust in and he was cursing softly as his cum filled the condom.
You both were left panting after that wonderful experience. Johnny pulled out and went to dispose of the condom. Damn there was a lot in there.
You were pretty exhausted but happy nonetheless. You don’t really know what you are supposed to do after. If you’re supposed to just put your clothes on and walk off as if what happened didn’t happen. That’s not how this goes. Not with Johnny.
He came back to you with a bottle of water in his hand. He went next to you and helped you sit up, placing his other hand on your back.
“You’re probably really exhausted after that. Here, drink this.” You gladly accepted the bottle of water, not even realizing how parched you were.
“So, what now? Do I just leave?” You asked which just proved to Johnny that it was best that he did it with you first.
“If a man ever told you to leave right after he’s an asshole. Don’t ever let a man do that to you. Come here.” Johnny pulled you close to him and made you lay down.
Your head laid on his chest which his arm was wrapped around you. He pulled the blankets over you to make sure you were comfy. His fingers ran through your hair which soothed you even more. This was incredibly nice. You didn’t realize how tired you were till he put you in this position. Your eyelids started to grow heavy and your breathing slowed down. There was only one thing left to say to him.
“Thank you…” You said softly.
You drifted off to sleep in his arms as he gave you a kiss on your forehead. Maybe Johnny was getting pretty old since he needed to sleep as well after that. He too started to fall asleep, happy to have a wonderful girl next to him again.
══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══
Cassie and Jacqui just came back from their little, or more like big, shopping trip. Cassie was about to call out to her dad till she saw your shoes at the entrance.
“Oh shit, she’s here?” She said.
She went around calling your name, surprised you weren’t out in plain sight. in fact, neither was her dad. She guessed that maybe you were upstairs in her room. Nope, not there either. Well if anything her dad had to be in his room or something. She knocked a few times but no answer. She just decided to open the door herself.
“Hey dad, do you have any idea where-“ Cassie stopped herself when you looked at the scene in front of her. Even Jacqui gasped out loud.
She slowly closed the door again, a shocked expression on her face. She looked at Jacqui who confirmed what they saw was true. Out of all of Cassie’s friends she would have never suspected you of sleeping with her father. She doesn’t even think you did it on purpose you’re not that kind of person. This was all so much and she could only mutter three words.
“What the fuck.”
After notes:🍊…🦊so like, you gonna pay rent or something? Do I gotta feed you? Fuck do you even eat? One of your comrades came crashing through the window this early morning. Who the fuck gonna pay for that? Ah, anyways. My daddy issues have come to say hi. Can’t tell if fucking Johnny will heal me or having him be a father figure to me will. Just need him to ruffle my hair and tell me my professors are the bitches not me. Hope y’all have a good day! Adiós!
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voidbeomgyu · 11 months
Text
ALONE (Teaser)
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In which you meet your bias in the worst circumstances.
PAIRING Idol Jake Sim x Fan Fem Reader
GENRE Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Slow Burn, Romance/Strangers to Lovers, Suggestive (Maybe smut, not sure yet.), some fluff
WARNINGS 18+ MDNI, Descriptions of violence, death, blood, etc., All members except Jake died so keep that in mind (I'm sorry), Cursing, Crimes, Mental health talk and experiences, Death, Sickness (Throwing up), Making out, Smut(?), It's an apocalypse!au idk how else to warn about that LOL
SUMMARY The group Enhypen get on a plane to the US and when landing are met with the worst. Jake makes it out alive... but alone. Since the dead are attracted to areas where the population is saturated, your best bet is to stay low in the areas usually considered dangerous (alleyways, abandoned buildings, etc). He made his way into the country and found a nice cabin alongside a lake. His further inspection led him to believe it was abandoned for whatever reason, maybe it was a vacation home? Little did he know his inference was correct, and soon he was met face to face with a member of the family who owned it. How would she react to seeing her favorite artist rummaging through the cupboards of her new--hopefully permanent--home? And how would he be able to explain to a loyal fan of his that he was the only member left?
TEASER WORD COUNT 1,625
RELEASE DATE To be determined.
TAGLIST Comment on this post or send an ask to be added. (Have your age on your profile or you will not be tagged)
Endless walking while trying to find a suitable place to stay was slowly driving Jake insane. The exhaustion from travelling, fear of death, and anguish from the scene at the airport was weighing down on him heavier and heavier every second. Having watched his best friends, his brothers, his family all being taken away from him without being able to do anything but listen to the oldest’s words, “Run”.
Jake had not yet cried, there was no time for it. It’s been almost thirty six hours since then, he’d stolen a bike around a mile away from the airport. It’s helped him a lot on his journey to safety. He never stole, he wasn’t like that, not that type of person. But in the moment he didn’t have the time nor energy to feel guilty about it. 
Jake didn’t know exactly what he was looking for, but he wanted quiet. Not knowing wether or not it’ll be safer in the city or the country side, he chose the latter. Cities are crowded with people, meaning they must be crowded with the dead by now, right? No matter; either way he knew he’d feel much better being in the middle of nowhere, or at least in the middle of what looked like nowhere. All alone in an abandoned farm house, maybe a lake house, any house on the country side would do. He was being too optimistic, he knew, but he couldn’t help it. Finding a safe home to live in alone with no one around for miles sounded comforting.
The Jake from two days ago would’ve shivered at the thought of being completely alone. Though no extrovert, he needed people. He needed that connection, that interaction. His reasons to smile and laugh were mostly based around the people around him or the entertainment he consumed. Entertainment was out of the question now, and it seemed like people were too. Most dead, and others probably too violent to give Jake a chance due to the circumstances. 
All he held on him was his and Sunghoon’s carry-on bag from the flight. Note to self, don’t try to save your friend by holding onto their bag. Thoughts like this crossed his mind every few minutes, tragedies sentenced as jokes but he wasn’t laughing. What’s wrong with me? How could I think something like that? Maybe it was the dehydration, starvation, overall fatigue? He hadn’t eaten anything since the flight and was savoring the small amount of water he had on him. Either way, thinking of his beloved friends didn’t do much to help his mood. Trying to think of the good times? Those good times will never happen again, they’re gone forever and I’ll never get them back.  
More days passed like this. With a stop at a gas station probably being the reason he’s even alive right now. It was abandoned, for the most part. It was the early morning, and he was literally starving now. The cashier was still there, but his neck was chained so tightly to the wall that it was on the edge of ripping his head clean off. Oh, he was a living corpse too. Jake could tell that much by just looking at him, muffled grunts and groans coming from the pale body every minute. Luckily, he didn’t seem to care much of Jake’s criminal activities there. Stuffing whatever foods and drinks he could into the bags he had on him. They were even heavier now, but he couldn’t feel anything. He was numb to all feeling, mentally and physically. 
At day four he had started keeping track of how many days passed with a calendar he found on the wall of the gas station that morning. He didn’t stay there though, he didn’t have it in him to kill the cashier, and he knew that if he somehow got loose while he was sleeping it would all be over. The past few days he hadn’t slept or rested much at all actually. Napping for at most an hour at a time, waking up to the slightest noises and scurries of nearby wildlife. He knows he’s incredibly lucky to not have encountered any of the dead, besides the one at the gas station, but it’s a little stressful to not have seen any either. Where could they all be? He had made it out of the city, the once bustling streets on day two, he knew many people weren’t out here to begin with. But knowing there are creatures that could kill him in seconds lurking while having no idea where they are was terrifying. 
It’s been six days. His legs started feeling numb just hours after finding his bike due to the frantic pedaling, now he felt like his legs were asleep all the time. The feeling of pins and needles covered his lower body as they worked on auto pilot to keep him going. His back felt horrible, slouched from his broken spirit. Endless cramping and soreness of his hands and fingers from gripping the bikes handles for hours at a time. His knuckles were white, and now so was his once tanned and alive skin. 
His lack of proper meals, sleep, and rest was now obvious. Jake hasn’t seen himself since that day in the airport, but from looking at his now thinner, paler, vein visible arms, he could take a guess at what his face looked like. Hell, he could feel the bags under his eyes whenever he blinked now. 
It’s been quiet and empty for a few miles. Nothing but grass, and a dirt trail he’s been following in sight. How long is this damn trail? he thought. Jake started following the trail at the sunset of day five; he remembers because of his calendar. It was coming to the end of day six, the sun starting to set in the distance behind him. He found a flashlight at the gas station and used it to find himself a place to “rest” for the nights he faced, it neared the time to find a spot to sleep.
Trees were all around him now, the area looked more alive here, not dried out and dead like the miles before. He must be getting close to some sort of building, forest trails usually have a building as a starting point, right? Unless this trail wasn’t made for hikers, in that case he was hoping in vain. 
It was almost completely dark now. Jake had usually found somewhere to stay by this time, but something was telling him to keep going. Using the flashlight to illuminate the shadowed forest, he heard his friends voices cheering him on over and over again. 
“Keep going Jake!”
“Just a little longer!”
“You’ll be okay!”
Tears were unconsciously streaming down his face now, though he still didn’t feel anything. His body just gave up on the effort of keeping them in. 
Jake pedaled faster. He couldn’t hear anything but his heavy panting, it felt like someone had covered his ears with their hands and muted the sound of everything around him. He saw something in the distance, the roof of a building; he padaled faster. A house, the roof made of wood, looked like a cabin; he padaled faster. He could hear the muffled sound of streaming water; he pedaled faster.
Face to face with a cabin, going so fast he couldn’t stop himself from crashing into the wet grass below him. Still struck with adrenaline, he pulled himself up quickly and dragged his bike to the front door. His broken and unused voice sounded through his pants as he tried frantically to open the damned door. 
The door handle had a key hole but was locked with a rusty padlock. He could turn the handle and wriggle the door, that padlock was what he needed to remove. He pulled a hammer out of his bag; he grabbed it from the gas station floor, it was covered in dried blood. Obviously used by someone prior to leaving it there. Jake slammed the hammer into the padlock, over and over again. The loud bangs from striking the lock were null to Jake’s ears, his desperation coating over all his sense. 
Smash. The padlocks body is broken away from its handle and the door is free from it’s hold on the wooden frame. 
Jake shoves his way inside, throwing the bike onto the hard floor of the entry way before turning to lock the door. It was locked from the outside but had a perfectly working lock on the inside, though he didn’t care to question it. He made it, he was safe, he felt like he could faint.
He had no time to think, let alone find a good source of light before he threw up. Keeling on the once clean floor, liquid from his stomach poured out from him. His throat burned and ached at the feeling, like his throat was made of sandpaper. Falling back he sat on the floor, staring at the door and the mess he made on the ground. He laid back and let his eyes rest for the first time in nineteen hours. Jake fell asleep there on the hard floor, knee propped up on the backside of a couch.
If he was thinking clearly, he would’ve checked the entire cabin, then scavenged for any foods that may be there. But he was broken, body and mind. Luck had been on his side since the beginning though. The home was completely vacant before he entered, and when he wakes up he’ll have found himself a place to live in safely. Away from the corpses living in the surrounding cities, and away from any still living people, all alone.
(A/N: Hello friends! I'm finally writing LOL I've had this wip since December and I'm finally going to finish it. This post is just to see if people would even be interested lol. The total fic word count I don't know yet because I haven't finished it, but I am close! I won't give y'all any hints but I will apologize in advance for the angst I'm about to put y'all thru<3 sorry love you guys muah. Don't know exactly when I will publish the full fic, maybe right when I finish it, maybe a month after I finish it IDK I haven't written seriously in months so I'm not too confident anymore but I am excited. Hope y'all are as excited as I am :D )
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AITA for being a "cheater" (even though my gf is the one I "cheated" with)?
Title sounds bad, but hear me out. Some background info: I (F25) left a very toxic relationship with my ex (F29) almost a year ago. We were together for 2 years and it was a very tumultuous and rocky relationship from the beginning. She convinced me I needed to leave my home state and move in with her 8 weeks into dating or she would break up with me, and I was stupid and in love and I did it. Then she would always hold the fact that she could kick me out over my head when we argued. I didn't like her taking my clothes without asking? She threatened to kick me out. I get mad that she's blasting her music when I'm trying to work? She threatened to kick me out. Really anything I said that she didn't like, she would threaten to kick me out. Even threw my stuff out on the front lawn a couple times.
And I admit, I wasn't a perfect angel in this relationship either. I felt powerless and resentful because it was impossible to bring up any grievances big or small with her, so I would intentionally break or hide her things. I was downright mean to her most days, and we were both physically violent with each other several times. Towards the end of the relationship I was sleeping in the floor in the living room because I couldn't stand to be near her, and if I slept on the couch she would push me off of it to sit and watch TV with friends she brought home late at night. It took me a while to leave because I was alone in a new state with nowhere to go, and I had to save up money to find a place. Like I said, it was a deeply toxic relationship on both sides, and I'm not proud of it and I'm in therapy trying to unpack what I did and what was done to me.
Now for the actual situation: one of my ex's friends who I'll call Emily (F27) was always very nice to me, and I would often complain to her about my ex and she would comfort me. I'll admit I started to develop feelings for her while I was still trying to work things out with my ex, and I even made out with her and nearly had sex with her once. But that made me feel extremely guilty and I stopped it, then stopped talking to Emily all together.
But when about 3 months after I moved into a new place Emily reached out to me online and we started talking again, then after another 3 months started tentatively dating. I say tentatively because I was very hesitant to go into any relationship after the fiasco with my ex, especially with Emily who is still friends with her. We would text and call each other daily and meet up to hang out a couple times a week.
We've been dating for about 6 months now and we've kissed and held hands, but that's about it. We haven't had sex. We haven't said I love you. We haven't even had a "what are we" talk yet, but Emily wants me to move in with her. I told her I wasn't ready for that. She says it would help both of us save money to live together and I should be comfortable with her by now, since we've been dating triple the time I was dating my ex when I moved in with her. I reminded her how well that turned out for me (not well at all!), and she said something that hit me like a ton of bricks: "Well, you're the cheater and I'm still taking the chance to trust you, so you should take the chance to trust me."
I asked her what she meant by that, and she said I'm not the one taking a risk in our relationship. She is, by dating someone who cheated on her dear friend (my ex). I said that wasn't exactly a happy healthy relationship, she said doesn't matter. Still a cheater. I said but I cheated with her! She said doesn't matter, still a cheater.
I hung up with her because I felt like I was going to be sick and she's been blowing up my phone asking if I'm alright and even apologizing and saying we can wait longer to move in together, but part of me is rethinking this whole relationship. She's been wonderful to me up till now, am I blowing things out of proportion? Is she trying to lure me into another toxic relationship? Please help, I feel like my ability to see red flags is still virtually nonexistent at this point :(
What are these acronyms?
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tohisprettyc00l · 10 months
Note
Hi!
May I please request all the characters reacting to y/n's self-harm scars?
If your not comfortable with that it's cool.
Thank you either way ❤️
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!!Major tw for self-harm!! If you aren't comfortable with that please skip. Also, I'm sorry if I depict anything wrong. And I'm going to exclude Gus and Collecter since it feels weird to do this with the kids.
Amity: Once she saw your scars it didn't occur to her the source of said scars. In fact, she thinks someone else did it and was pissed the fuck off. "Who hurt you." was all she could muster. Once you told her the truth her whole demeanor shifts. She goes from wanting to stab someone to looking like she was going to cry. She wraps you in abomination goop as a makeshift blanket. She was not willing to leave your side for any reason.
Luz: She's basically crying at the scars regardless of who did it. She just hates seeing hurt okay? :( But when she learns you did it she freezes. She doesn't believe it in the slightest. Starts talking about how much she loves you. Granted she's saying 100 words per second so you can only hear bits and pieces of what she's saying. But she gets her point across. That point is: I love you so much and I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Willow: She doesn't mention them once she first sees them. It's none of her business, they all look pretty healed so why push? But a few days later when you guys are just normally talking she casually brings it up. You don't know how to respond. After a few moments, you tell her the truth. And you can see it on her face, the way it hits her like a sack of bricks. The fact that she didn't ask adds to the guilt. But this isn't a moment to focus on herself. She hugs you. The next day she takes you on a really nice date.
Hunter: Once he notices he does (correctly) assume the reason. But he doesn't want to believe himself. It is pretty understandable why you would want your s/o self-harming. But he knows that if he's right but doesn't talk to you he'll regret it forever. So, despite his nervousness, he asks you. He says multiple times that it's "probably not why." His heart sinks when you confirm his fears. You're immediately wrapped in a hug. He keeps talking about how sorry he is that he didn't help, as well as how much he loves you. And he means every word of it.
Vee: She does not dance around the question. Once she sees the scars she just straight up asked, "Why are there scars all over your arms?" So that was very jarring. Once you end up telling her she just stood there. Before wrapping her tail and arms around you. You felt extra secure. She is going to let you know how much you mean to her.
Raine: They know what your scars are from the moment they see them. They don't point the scars out so that you don't get uncomfortable. They do however become way nicer (if that's even possible.) Every chance they get they'll complement you. It's a very obvious but welcomed change.
Eda: Well shit. She's not even going to ask she knows what the scars are from and she's pissed. Not at you, at herself for not noticing. She hugs you and starts apologizing without an explanation. Once she does explain she makes very clear that she's not mad at you and will help you stop.
Emira: Since she's the oldest of the Blight twins I feel like she had a lot of the pressure to be the perfect child before Amity. (Edric was just kinda ignored.) But she didn't have much of a support system so she did have thoughts she never went through with them. But Titan does it break her heart to see you going through that? Her approach was way more gentle than anyone. She staged a mini-therapy for you.
Edric: On the other hand he's pretty clueless. When you tell him he is very sad. He doesn't know what to do but he starts buying you a bunch of things. He wants you to know how valuable you are.
Lilith: She has no clue how to react. She doesn't even know what you did but her blood feels like ice with how many scars you have. She asks what happened and who hurt you. She starts tearing up when you reveal the truth. She ends up cuddling with you and tries to make you feel as secure as possible.
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idyllic-affections · 11 months
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general friendship headcanons (sumeru).
summary. what is it like being friends with some of sumeru's citizens?
trigger & content warnings. brief & hypothetical mentions of people being creepy towards you.
tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff. alhaitham & reader, collei & reader, cyno & reader, kaveh & reader, nahida & reader, nilou & reader, wanderer & reader, tighnari & reader. 0.9k words. no pronouns for reader.
author's notes. just a lil filler post while i continue working on requests <3 should i make this into a series? i think i will HSKDHDLD sometimes i need things to post in between requests, especially when i get a wave of longer requests.
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alhaitham is the kind of friend you can just... sit in the silence with. it's not uncomfortable silence whatsoever—it's, on the contrary, rather comforting and calming. he'll let you sit right up against him if you so please as he reads a book of his. you want to take a nap on him? go for it, he doesn't mind. i like to think that alhaitham finds the weight and pressure to be soothing (neurodivergent alhaitham my beloved...). you want to read your own book? that's fine. maybe you're doing something else—crocheting, knitting, drawing, writing... he really doesn't mind. whatever it is you choose to do, you're welcome to curl up against his side while you do it.
collei is another one you can sit in comforting silence with. she finds it nice just to spend time with her friend! if either of you aren't really interested in doing anything in particular, or if one or both of you aren't feeling great mentally or physically, she's totally cool with sitting in the calm quiet and cloud-gazing together. if you do want to do something, however, she's up for that too! she would also take you on patrol with her, i think, even if you need special accommodations. she'll figure it out. if you want to go with her, she'll find a way c: she's also the kind of friend that would enjoy trading easy & convenient recipes with you.
cyno is definitely the card game friend. you will learn to play tcg. you have no choice. it is your fate. /lh but i also like to think he's a considerably protective friend! he's the one to ask all the questions if you let him know you're planning on going out. he wants to know all the details. are you going with someone? yes? who is it? where are you planning on going? he literally just wants you to be safe, so sometimes it might come off as overbearing or infantilizing, but he really doesn't mean it that way! he genuinely just wouldn't forgive himself if something happened to you that he could have prevented.
kaveh is the kind of friend you could stay up until atrocious hours of the night talking to. also 100% the gossip friend. he'll sit there doing your hair, makeup, nails, or skincare routine—regardless of your gender, whatever you're comfortable with! kaveh genuinely doesn't care as long as you're happy and content—and tell you all of the terrible awful drama he overhears. he's also somewhat protective, but not to cyno's level. he'll inquire about your plans and will then tell you to be safe and have fun! he would feel really bad if something happened, though. really bad. will definitely, 100%, without a doubt tell off any creeps bothering you. he can pretend to be your brother or your boyfriend, whatever you need. he'll do it.
nahida is the therapist friend, in a way. she doesn't completely understand human emotions and thought processes, but she is totally happy to listen to whatever you need to get off your chest! it helps her understand you and other people better, and it (hopefully) helps you feel better. her advice is a little difficult to understand, admittedly... she tries her best though! if you don't understand, feel free to tell her. she'll try to be clearer. it may or may not work, and she has a chance of making her point even more confusing, but she really does try.
nilou is the kind of friend who's happy to do activities with you. she's happy to do anything as long as it's with her friend! she'll take you out to the shopping (only for you two to inevitably return with a ridiculous amount of free gifts for nilou, namely from the grand bazaar vendors...) if you'd like, or she can get you guys tickets to some of her favorite performances! she'd also love to teach you her style of dance if you'd be willing to and are able to learn. if you're not able, though, that's okay! she really doesn't mind. i like to think she'd also be super supportive of you and all your pursuits.
the wanderer is, quite simply, the begrudging friend. he will NOT admit that he cares about you and will claim the exact opposite. he'll say that he absolutely does not care whatsoever (but will then, in the same sentence, berate someone for so much as glancing at you in a way he deems to be wrong). he's a bit emotionally inarticulate—and rightfully so—but he really does care. his ways of showing it are just a little odd and unconventional. he acts like every display of affection ever is such a terrible burden that should not have been put on his shoulders, but secretly really loves holding your hand or giving you a hug. also really likes being held. like. he would die before admitting that but he... he just needs to be held, you know?
tighnari is the kind of friend who tells you all sorts of things—he shares his knowledge so freely with you, it's sort of like a love language. he'll tell you all about the local flora, explaining what plants you could eat in the case of an emergency and what ones you should never even touch. also as his friend you are allowed to touch his ears and tail. imagine habitually fidgeting with them while tighnari doesn't even flinch because, as long as you're always careful and gentle, he trusts you enough for that kind of thing. i bet he is very soft. anyway, i can't explain it, but i just know his hugs are warm and comforting and protective. he definitely gives really good hugs.
please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!
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girlgenius1111 · 1 month
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I miss sol can we get some headcanonsss 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 with or without future ms Fresa 😌
any chance to talk about my solstråle 🥰
-school is very much not her thing. not because she isn't smart. she's really smart. she just hates sitting still and being inside all day, and she's never been very motivated to try very hard in school. so when she arrives in spain and ingrid like sits down to help her with her homework because she's heard that sol has heinous grades, sol can do all of it. she doesn't need help. and ingrid is absolutely baffled because... why wouldn't she do it if she could? but sol's thinking is... why would she do it if she didn't want to.
-in one of the family line chapters, its mentioned that sol broke her arm as a kid, and her mom didn't believe her that something was actually wrong. it didn't heal right and now it hurts when the weather changes, and if she moves her wrist in the wrong way. she'll never know if it's because she didn't get it into a cast right away or not, but it is always a very physical, painful reminder of her childhood.
-sol was a really anxious kid. it was a lot for her parents to deal with, and sol thinks that this is part of the reason they treated her like they did. they had to go through so much with her when she was young with her anxiety that they were just... done parenting by the time she got older. her parents really weren't even very helpful with her anxiety either. it was always ingrid who could calm her down or talk her into doing things she was reluctant to do.
-she was a really good softball player when she was younger. it was always pushed to the side for ingrid's football, and the team she was on wasn't a very supportive place. her anxiety got really bad at this time, especially before games and tournaments, and she decided to quit the sport all together, because she couldn't deal with it anymore.
-once ingrid moved out, sol would wear her old clothes around the house, and try to act just like ingrid, because she thought it would make her more tolerable to her parents.
-sol loves her sister very much, but Mapi is her biggest role model. it won't ever not amaze and surprise her how easily Mapi took her in an loved her. her biggest wish for her life is to be as loving and kind as Mapi is.
-sol can play the piano. she learned as a kid and it's always kind of stuck around. she can just sit down and play some pieces from memory. she has a really nice singing voice too, but ingrid and mapi only know because they can hear her in the shower. she'll sing for fresa if she asks nicely, though.
-she has a HUGE sweet tooth. she has 'emergency chocolate' in the glovebox of ingrid's car that fresa finds one day. fresa: ?? what is this?? sol: emergency chocolate 🙂 fresa:... in what kind of emergency do you need chocolate. sol: all of them??
-sol likes to prank ingrid by telling her that she's pregnant at least once a month. ingrid always believes it even though sol has literally never dated a man in her life.
-ingrid refuses to change her number from 23 for the rest of her career. it wasn't really her favorite or first choice before, but it's sol's tattoo now, and she will NEVER change it. she'd almost rather retire.
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energonbunny · 5 months
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I know that one of the popular reveal theories has Thorn Princess being sent to kill Agent Twilight, but as time goes on I think it's less and less likely that particular scenario will come about. The big reason that Loid can use his real face while playing Papa Forger is because no one outside of WISE knows what Twilight looks like.
In order for Yor to be sent after him, his identity would have to be revealed at large, and at that point I think he would be taking countermeasures to protect himself/his ability to work and that would quite possibly mean abandoning Yor and Anya since he would have such a large target on his back. And, while it is technically possible that his identity is found out and he doesn't know, I doubt that Garden would send Yor after him because they likely know the face is attached to her husband, which means Twilight impersonates him or he is Twilight, but either way it could lead to her having issues committing.
However, I do think it's incredibly likely that they could cross paths on a mission, and come to blows that way. In a Twilight's goal is to infiltrate and find The Plans, so he neutralizes A and disguises as them and Thorn Princess' goal is to kill A and their underlings, way.
Loid doesn't stand a chance against Yor in hand to hand combat. He can fight well, but he doesn't have anything on Yor's strength. When it comes to intelligence he's the clear winner, but he'd have to keep her off of him long enough to do something.
This scenario could go one of two ways, I figure. Loid manages to get Yor to listen and shows her that A is actually knocked out in a closet, and dips while she's going "????", OR Yor doesn't stop to listen (which even she might not, I feel like her targets would have tried talking her around before) and Loid is forced to reveal who he is.
I feel like this could be a nice way to do it without super high stakes being on the line, and it would still give Loid the opportunity to chose between lying about some things or being honest and revealing everything.
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