gabbi: got called a lesbian in walmart earlier lads
eleanor: tell us what happened lad
gabbi: i got called a lesbian in walmart
eleanor: yeah but why
gabbi: i was being a lesbian
eleanor: in walmart?
gabbi: yeah it was in walmart
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Rex: Listen, if I die in suspicious circumstances, bury me, otherwise I’m fine being cremated.
Echo: Why is there a difference?
Rex: So they’ll be able to-
Fives: So he can come back as a zombie and get revenge on the one who killed him duh.
Rex: …no… so they can exhume the body and get evidence later if they build a case for it.
Fives: …do both? Get revenge, vod.
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Countdown to Agatha: Day 781
Agatha: “It’s crazy that just anyone can buy superglue”
Y/N: “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Agatha: “Hmm? Oh nothing in particular”
*meanwhile*
Wanda: “Why won’t the fridge open?”
Wanda: “Why is there a rubber duck on the ceiling?!”
Wanda: “Why the FUCK does my crown have rhinestones on it?!”
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Ran: what a year this week has been
Rindou: the most relatable thing you've said all day
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drea: are you comfortable with gendered terms?
eleanor: yeah...
drea: girl shut the fuck up right now-
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james: *screams*
regulus: what the fuck was that?!
james: sorry, it just really helps sometimes, you should try it. it’ll really help with the “black heir” stuff
regulus: i’m fine, i don’t even think about that anymore
james: just do it
regulus: no, absolutely not. thank you, no
james: it’s recommended by medical professionals. it’s called a primal scream, it helps you access parts-
regulus: *screams*
james: *smiles*
regulus: …fuck *laughs*
james: you really had that pent up, huh?
regulus: *blows out air*
james: you look like you want a grilled cheese
regulus: that sounds nice
james: let’s get you a grilled cheese
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Robin: Would you love me if I was the only girl in the world?
Nancy: If you were the only girl in the world I’d be dead
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Quick Thought Before I Sell My Soul To @kazutora-kurokawa So She Can Work Faster (that was totally a joke btw, take your sweet little time Kaz 💖)
💜 Takashi "I'll go slow" Mitsuya
💚 Ken "You can take it" Ryuguji
❤️ Keisuke "I won't bite hard" Baji
💙 Manjiro "Please sit on my face" Sano
🧡 Kazutora "Just the tip" Hanemiya
💛 Haruki "I'm not big, you're just too tight" Hayashida
Slightly related, but I knew a guy who was referred to as First name "sorry I came fast" Last name and to this day I feel bad for him 😭
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