do revenge spoilers but i need to talk about this bc it wont leave my mind
simply cannot stop thinking about how eleanor wanted to hate drea so much. she did hate drea so much, and rightfully so. and we can see that channeling that anger was cathartic for her, but we also see the downfall of it. post-car crash, there’s a shift in eleanor as she’s staring into the mirror, and the montage of her and drea plays.
she doesn’t want to like drea, she wants to keep hating her. but fuck, drea opened up to her so quickly, telling her that they were the same. they have the same anger. drea didn’t know how accurate that was at the time, doesn’t know the look on eleanor’s face as she realizes that she’s becoming what she thought she was out to destroy.
that whole thing about how hate isn’t the opposite of love, indifference is? yeah. eleanor’s obssessed with drea, she’s been obsessed with her for five years. and to finally get close to her and realize how they’re two sides of the same coin, twin flames, etc etc, is as terrifying as it is comforting.
even though their friendship was all part of eleanor’s plan, they had such genuine moments of joy and vulnerability and as all that is played over again in eleanor’s head, she realizes that she might have just fucked it all up. she thinks drea will never forgive her for what she did. that’s why she keeps going with her plan, i don’t think she really wants to at this point.
that moment in the mirror as she smears her lipstick away, she’s messing up that perfectly crafted image she’s kept up in an act of defeat, while also fully committing to her #jokerarc because what other choice does she have? she started it, might as well finish it now since there’s no way in hell the one person she misses most would come back to her.
except, drea does. because they’re fucked up soulmates.
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can i also say that as much as i think drea and eleanor deserved to kiss, the whole concept of them being platonic psychopathic slightly trauma bonded best friends is very attractive to me
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