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martyrbat · 2 years

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bruce buys 10k dollars worth of chocolate bars (per kid) every single time they have to sell them for a school fundraiser

#to be more specific its that shitty world's finest chocolate bar where each one is supposed to sell for a dollar #it started with richard and bruce being out of touch with how much it is & the minimum needed to make sure his son wins #pta bruce #a specific variation of this tag:#good dad bruce wayne #bruce wayne #posts from the crypt

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emo-batboy · 1 year

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I GIVE YOU a totally real list of viral photos of Battinson with his newly adopted son, Dick Grayson, that took Gotham by storm

Bruce crossing the street with a rosy-cheeked Dick Grayson dutifully holding his hand, Dick somehow found the camera and is waving to it excitedly (this is the first ever photo of them together)

Dick balanced perfectly at the top (and I mean on top) of a jungle gym while Bruce looks stressed out of his mind, pleading for Dick to get down before he hurts himself

Dick doing the exact same thing a month later but this time Bruce looks completely unfazed, sipping a coffee like it’s just a normal Tuesday (the photos are regularly paired together as a popular meme template in Gotham)

A selfie of Bruce and Dick making stupid faces at the camera that Dick turned into his class for one of those “About Me” posters you make in 3rd grade

Dick asleep in Bruce’s arms after a fancy dinner party, they’re wearing matching suits, Bruce is kissing his forehead :(

Bruce and Dick propped up against a wall, sharing a packet of fruit snacks in an empty room next to the charity gala they’re supposed to be attending

A plethora of photos of Dick climbing on top of Bruce at inopportune moments (à la this post)

Including a press conference.

And an investors’ meeting (bring your kid to work day)

Bruce standing outside of Gotham Elementary holding Dick in his arms with matching scowls on their faces. A mother and her son have been cropped out after the boy shoved Dick, and the mother refused to make him apologize. (It almost got physical. The mom has since quit the PTA.)

Bruce and Dick wearing matching sunglasses on the Gotham pier, Bruce is sipping another coffee while Dick eats from a comically large ice cream cone. A second photo shows Dick offering some to Bruce, which he accepts

Bruce retying Dick’s tie in the middle of another charity gala (for the children’s hospital)

Dick doing a cartwheel in the park while Bruce looks at him with the fondest look humanly possible

Bruce and Dick in a convenience store at 10pm (on a Friday) wearing matching oversized Nirvana shirts and pajama pants, it looks like they’re having a movie marathon (it’s Grey Ghost reruns <3)

pspspspsps @bruciemilf

#battinson #bruce wayne #the batman 2022 #batman #the batman #batman 2022 #batdad #batfamily #dick grayson #god they’re so cute #dick is so sweet and energetic #bruce is a good parent #pta mom bruce wayne #soft Bruce Wayne #give battinson a child 2k23 #gotham

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puppetmaster13u · 5 months

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Prompt 117

Bruce does not enjoy magic. In fact he’s absolutely horrible at it, to the point it’s better that he avoids it in general. Getting thrown into some sort of summoning circle bullshit was not helping him feel any better about it either.

At least he isn’t dead… probably. He might be surrounded by green and there might be a massive entity sitting on a throne, but he isn’t dead yet. Even if the cult had been rambling about sacrificing ‘the dark knight to the dark king’.

… His kids are definitely going to kill him, but there are small children peeking out at him from within the being’s cape. Who seem happy enough, while the… king looks exhausted in a familiar way. Well. Maybe it’s his own parental exhaustion talking, but they can’t be too bad if their kids are happy to be there.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #prompts #Pariah feeling someone sacrificing a human: Oh thank fuck some goddamn help-#Bruce is now Pariah’s & Clockwork’s buddy who babysits the lil godlings sometimes #They all get together sometimes to complain about their PTA rivals #Pariah is relieved for help in how to human for the half-human children’s sake #He takes up gardening to help with his control issues since he can make his gardens look however he like and obsess over making sure everyt #Clockwork and Alfred become tea and gossip buddies #Pariah: How will we get our half human children's human side taken care of #Why yes Bruce's kids did make fun of him when he came back with a couple of kids #They don't belive him at first when he explains he's just babysitting #Until the parents come to pick said children up #pariah dark x clockwork

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mukoi-the-devoted · 1 month

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Ok… hear me out, a fic where Jack Drake and Dana winters break up semi-peacefully, but Tim and Dana have already started to bond as step-family, so Dana keeps in touch. Over the years their relationship evolves into not quite a mother-son relationship, but they’re really good friends who happen to at some point have been legally related.

The story somewhat follows cannon, except nothing bad happens to Dana, and when Jack dies, Dana fights Bruce for custody, and wins.

Eventually, after lots of interrogation (from Dana, she has to make sure this millionaire guy is safe for her friend/ex-step-son) Dana agrees to split custody with Bruce. (Admittedly it’s a relief, Dana was not ready to parent a teenager all by herself)

Que Bruce and Dana either passive aggressively competing to be Tim’s favorite, or becoming the best of friends.

The tabloids go crazy, as suddenly Dana is considered “Wayne adjacent” and therefore famous.

Basically all I want is Dana and Tim content, is that too big of an ask?

(I can’t remember if there was anything else I had on this idea, but oh well.)

#tim drake #dana winters #batfam #Tim gains a mother figure #Damian: who tf is this??#Tim: your new ex-stepmother-once-or-twice-removed #Bruce and Dana compete to see who shows up to more pta meetings #just wait till Dana finds out about Robin…

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bruciemilf · 1 year

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I loved reading your take on Battinson and the PTA! Could you PLEASE go into detail about the PTA moms treating him like the class hamster, I loved that 😄

They all have a schedule and rotate Bruce between their houses like he's a bowl of ramen

Obviously, they're doing it for the kids! Bruce is notoriously well liked among their headach-- their blessings (theyre not allowed to talk bad abt their kids, even jokingly, around him. He will stare at them autistically, dont think he wont)

They behave 100x better around him. They make him snacks, bring him drinks, call their friends to see him, -- class hamster except he doesn't die overnight (Margie hasn't lost hope yet!)

" I started going to church just for that,"

" Just take me out yourself?"

" Hah. So you can avoid losing to me at soccer matches? You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

But seriously, he's a young parent, a FIRST TIME young parent, he's struggling. They equate him with the freshmen going to the senior Olympics. Not to mention like, 50% of men there are terrible to him. They all bond like that.

Imagine being a PTA mom, trying to cheat at the bakesale with storebrought cookies, walking around a Batmart, and fucking Batman marches to you, snatches the packet out of your hands, and throws them five aisles over, then dips without elaborating

#bruce wayne #batman #battinson #batdad #pta mom bruce #asks #text

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somestarstuff · 1 year

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figured out what this week’s wfa episode reminds me of

#pta mom bruce wayne always such a fun hc #batman wayne family adventures #wayne family adventures #wfa #bruce wayne #joker #harley quinn hbo #harley quinn show

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embracedbythesea · 1 year

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PTA dad Bruce my love

#dc comics #batman #dc #comics #batman wayne family adventures #batman wfa #batman webtoon #wfa spoilers #wayne family adventures #Webtoon #wfa season 2 #bruce wayne #tired dad bruce wayne #tired dad #pta dad bruce wayne #PTA

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thief-of-eggs · 1 year

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Bruce having a PTA arch nemesis in the newest episode of Wayne Family Adventures is the most Bruce thing i’ve ever read😭

#i love it so much #hes such a PTA mom #wayne family adventures #webtoon #batman wayne family adventures #batman #batfamily #batfam #bruce wayne #good dad bruce wayne #dc

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waterfire1848 · 1 year

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[ Based on tonight’s Batfamily webtoon comic. ]

Alfred: Master Bruce. Are you really so desperate to get rid of Margie that you’d let Poison Ivy kidnap her?

Bruce: I’m thinking.

Alfred: Master Bruce!

Bruce: Alfred, I’m thinking.

#Ivy doesn’t actually show up #I just put that in #incorrect quotes #source: two broke girls #Bruce wayne #batman #margie from the pta #alfred pennyworth #batman wayne family adventures

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striveattemptfail · 1 year

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all panels from wfa #79

several things just occurred to me:

not only is bruce on the pta with margie, the rivalry has been going on long enough that there's a pattern for him to notice when things are "too quiet"

he gets alfred regularly involved with his stupid shenanigans trying to outdo margie

alfred has resigned himself to putting up with said shenanigans

he also does not get paid enough for this shit LMAAAOOOO

#batman: wayne family adventures #wayne family adventures #wfa #batman #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #jercy liveblogs things #GOD i love pta bruce i hope we see more of him LOOOOL

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emo-batboy · 1 year

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Battinson adopting a hyper Gen-Alpha Dick Grayson who acts like a little terror 90% of the time but is also 90% of Bruce’s will to live so he gets away with everything

Battinson: um excuse you, my son is an angel and can do no wrong

Dick, who was just about to Nerf Bruce in the back of the head: yeah! I’m a pleasure

#battinson #bruce wayne #batman #the batman 2022 #the batman #batman 2022 #batdad #dick grayson #batfamily #pta mom Bruce Wayne #battinson will protect his little demon child at all costs #‘that’s just his way of expressing himself’#adhd dick grayson #in my heart

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batmanego · 8 months

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go to another party and hang myself (gently, on the shelf)

#alternative title I. HATE. WAYNE ENTERPRISES. THEY MAKE ME DO GALA EVENTS AND SAY GO AUTISTIC BOY GO.#alternative title two If you dont stop saying bruce is a PTA mom he will kill himself #bruce wayne #my arts #dc #batman

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violetbumblebea · 2 years

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I'm as much of a fan of Brucie Wayne as the next person but I do love me some competent, Tired Dad™ businessman Bruce Wayne. No one thinks he's Batman, not because he's an idiot but because he's running a multi-billion dollar company, starting social projects for Gotham, and going to school events for like 7.5 kids.

Conspiracy theorists, at most, figure that Bruce is a meta capable of being multiple places at once or time dilation. No one is crazy enough to think he has time to also be a crime fighting furry

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jarro-stan-account · 2 years

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Okay AU where when Jason breaks into Titan’s Tower ready to beat the everliving shit out of Tim, Tim’s slumped, dead asleep at the kitchen table, and he’s just… so small? And skinny? Like, he’s rail thin and pasty white, and it makes the bruises against his skin that much more livid.

Obviously Tim is not in peak combat condition. This isn’t even like that metaphor about fighting 5th graders, it’s more like drop kicking a baby and calling yourself tough. If Jason really wants to humiliate Tim and prove that *he’s* the better Robin, then he can’t do it now when Tim looks like he’d fall over if he stood up too fast.

So Jason decides to make omelettes and just leave them there. Just to get the Replacement up so he can beat his face in properly. Except rummages around the Titan’s kitchen, but there’s nothing in there but like, candy and orange juice, so he has to head to the store. While he’s there, he might as well grab some fruits and vegetables, the last green thing they had was probably whatever radioactive mix passes for an energy drink

So Jason breaks back into the tower, cooks a veggie omelette, and leaves it in the fridge with notes on how to warm it up. On the way out, he leaves a vaguely threatening post it note that simply says “Drink water, fuckface”

Of course, lack of proper nutrition isn’t fixed with one meal. So Jason ends up preparing meals and delivering them, just so he can really humiliate the Replacement when he beats his ass into the ground

Except Jason is delivering a meal when he sees Tim is asleep in his room at 6 am, clearly at end of an all nighter with English lit notes scattered around him and a rough essay typed up on his laptop that just devolves into gibberish . Clearly his homework is one of the reasons he’s so sleep deprived all the time. And Jason can’t help but look at the beginnings of the report without feeling offended on the behalf of Jane Eyere, whose work deserves proper appreciation.

So Jason breaks in and leaves helpful English notes and annotations, along with a Tupperware container of lasagna.

Meanwhile Tim is just ??? all the time but he gets free food? And those English tips were really helpful?

Anyways, this keeps spiraling until Jason finds out what shit Tim’s parents put him through, and then obviously he has to sign him up for therapy because mental health affects your performance in a fights.

Then all of this culminates when Jason is caught breaking into Tim’s room at the manor (vegetable casserole in hand) by BRUCE of all people, who just goes “Jay-lad?” really weakly and he’s crying and then Jason is being hugged by his dad and oh, he’d forgotten what this felt like. He goes to just break out of the hug, but then he just… can’t. It wouldn’t make sense to leave anyways. He can keep a closer eye on Tim from here.

So Jason moves back into the manor and keeps making sure Tim eats and gets enough rest and drinks water and goes to his therapy appointments, because holy hell this kid is a disaster.

Jason’s still gonna kill Tim though. He’s obviously just following his master plan. He WILL kill Tim. Totally. 100%. Just… not today. It’s PTA night and he needs to make sure the teachers are taking care of Tim.

#Jason and Bruce at the same PTA meeting eyeing each other awkwardly #bruce wayne #batfamily #batfam #batman #jason todd #dc universe #red hood #tim drake #red robin #bruce is a good parent #Bruce is a good dad #fucxkint catch these hands dc #dc comics #long post

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devilmayfamily · 1 year

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Someone has probably already talked about this but I must as well now.

So, I just saw the scene were Batman is telling the League he can't be at a meeting because he has a teacher parent conference with one of Damian's teachers. Flash makes a joke about him being a PTA member and now I can't unsee it.

Like imagine he's been a PTA member for every school, every one of his kids has been in. He's most likely the only dad and all the women adore him.

He's always bringing in cookies Alfred made and actually has things to contribute to the meetings. He's a billionaire and could just fund everything they do but he likes the idea of seeing the kids raise the money and helps some of em develop business skills. Some of the kids take what he taught them and become successful business leaders later on in life.

Every new kid means a new set of friends and parents from the PTA to interact with as well. Dick had at least 6, Jason had 4, Tim and Cass had 3 and currently, Damian has 1.

One year another father joined the PTA and Bruce was almost offered to no longer be the only male there but the guy was actually pretty cool. Alfred almost dared to say Bruce made a friend but he won't admit it.

Picking up the kids is always fun as well. Sometimes he's not just picking up his kid and when he notices Damian walking out with the one friend he's made (that's not Jon) Bruce smiles. The kid's mom he recognizes from a few PTA meetings.

PTA mom Bruce is a gem and he really loves being apart of his kids lives.

#batman #bruce wayne #pta mom bruce #batfam

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justafanaticalhuman · 4 months

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brucie wayne: pta stands for pussy, tits, and ass right?

the other mothers at the PTA meeting:

#dc #batman #Pta mothers #incorrect quotes #bruce wayne

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