#psychotic paranoia | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

projectthesinner · 9 months

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i think there should be more talk about psychosis and the unwrenchable anxiety and paranoia it can give someone (me, in example)

im currently at the download screen of tampermonkey, however all of these bulletpoints are sending my mind reeling to worst cases: losing my privacy, my web data being accessed, someone seeing my downloads/web activity/and every etcetra listed on and on and on because my mind refuses to let this rest easy. it's giving me chestpains and a headache like no other to think about this.

to my mutuals i understand completely if you do not know how to handle this situation with me. i still love you (/pla)! and this post is not me accusing the author of tampermonkey of doing these things actively.

this is wholeheartedly a talk of my current experience in psychotic paranoia, of which if anyone has the right words to help ground me back into reality; which i'm certain is a blunt conclusion like that of a rolled up newspaper set gently on top of my head, please for the love of whatever fills you with joy talk to me. message me my dms are open, reply to this post, please and thank you.

#absolutely any and all advice welcomed #i know HOW to download it and the dashboard unfucker now. but im still overtly anxious #paranoia #schizoaffective #schizophrenia #paranoid schizophrenia #psychosis #psychotic paranoia #delusions #dashboard unfucker #tampermonkey #tampermonkey help #tumblr layout #word project

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neuroticboyfriend · 1 year

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If you struggle with substance abuse but not addiction, you still deserve support. If you struggle with suicidality/self harm urges but don't act on it, you still deserve support. If you struggle with psychosis and paranoia but have insight, you still deserve support. If you struggle with anything but are "coping with it," you still deserve support.

You dont need to be in imminent crisis to get help - safety planning, harm reduction, resources, and accommodations. You're still struggling. You're still suffering, You're still at risk/in danger. You deserve better - you need better. Your health and wellbeing matters.

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thecorvidforest · 8 months

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to my psychotic/paranoid/OCD/other friends - you might start seeing posts in the next few days about how the rapture supposedly happened or is going to happen very soon. a group of evangelical “rapture watchers” think the rapture happened 9/22/23 for a handful of reasons, such as the dates lining up in a way that’s somehow significant.

i promise the rapture didn’t happen. i don’t personally believe in the rapture and i have nothing against those who do, but it for sure didn’t already happen. if it did everyone would know. there would be tons of footage. anyone who tries to claim it did happen or that they know the date is either lying or misguided.

#corvidforest avian’s posts #tags for reach #ocd #obsessive compulsive disorder #paranoia #psychosis #psychotic spectrum #paranoid delusions #pdd #paranoid personality disorder #schizophrenic spectrum #schizophrenia

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schizopositivity · 8 months

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Words that are very important to schizo-spec and psychotic people because they are the few words that accurately describe our unique and often life-changing experience:

• delusion/delusional

• hallucinate/hallucinating

• psychosis/psychotic

•schizophrenia/schizophrenic

• paranoia/paranoid

• word salad

Please don't use these words incorrectly. It does directly impact us. Yes the meaning of words evolves, but we don't have words to replace these ones. But you have words to replace these if you are using them as descriptors for something evil, unpredictable, selfish, contradictory, scared, misspeaking, etc.

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alixisherebutringagain · 9 months

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Psychotic episode are fucking terrifying so sorry if I don't like when you use the word "delulu" and sorry if I don't want to talk to you because you think I'm crazy or dangerous and sorry if you think I'm exaggerating BUT FUCK YOU BECAUSE I WAS TERRIFIED.

I WAS SCARED.

I WAS LIKE A KID SCARED OF THE DARK.

HOW DARE YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY.

I WAS AFRAID TO GET KILLED, I WAS TERRIFIED OF GOING OUTSIDE I WAS CONVINCED OF HORRIBLE THINGS I COULDN'T SPEAK I COULDN'T MOVE I WAS TRAPPED IN MY BRAIN SO FUCK YOU.

Fuck anyone who thinks psychotic episodes are funny. Fuck anyone who judges someone for being on the schizo spec. Fuck anyone who laughs at this.

#schizo spectrum #mental illness #schizophrenia #schizophrenic spectrum #schizotypal personality disorder #disorganized speech #psychosis #schizotypal #psychotic disorders #actually psychotic #paranoia #delusional #tw delusion #my disorder is not something to laugh at #try going through a psychotic episode before talking about it #transient psychotic episode

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madpunks · 16 days

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i don't know what psychotic person needs to hear this, but it is in fact okay for you to be psychotic. it's not your fault. you're not asking for it. it's something that's occurring to you. trying to force it to stop happening ALL the time is going to drain you way too much. some days you just have symptoms and it's alright. sometimes you just have to go with the flow. you're not a fuck up if you have episodes, days, weeks, months of not being able to hold it together and mask your paranoia, intrusive thoughts, delusions, hallucinations, catatonia, confusion, etc. it's alright to just be mentally ill for a bit. i love you

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oopsallfictives · 7 months

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I'm gonna take a stab at creating an alternate definition of the word delusion, since I'm not a fan of the one commonly used in a medical context. This is gonna deal with some unreality and paranoia-inducing stuff, so read at your own risk.

The definition most commonly used for delusion is a false belief that a person can't be persuaded isn't real or true, even if they're shown evidence to the contrary. This is a flawed definition for a number of reasons, chief among them that sometimes people are just wrong and stubborn about it. We know that it can be incredibly difficult for people to change their minds once they're personally invested in an idea, but that's not the same as being delusional. A person who still believes vaccines cause autism probably isn't delusional, they're just personally invested in the idea because it validates their view that autism is bad and gives them a scapegoat to blame for the existence of autistic people. That's an ideology, not a delusion.

Another flaw is that some things can't necessarily be confirmed to be untrue. One of the most well-known (and commonly mocked) delusions is some variation of "the government is spying on me". This isn't something that's easily verified as either true on untrue, and it's also something that literally does happen to people. I live in the US, where we know the government spies on people. We know that in the wake of 9/11, US intelligence agencies undertook a massive campaign of surveillance of Muslim and Middle Eastern people living in the US. So "the government is spying on me" might not actually be a false belief, and you probably can't know that for sure.

Attempting to rely on a belief being false can be dangerous, too. I remember reading the story of a person who was labelled as delusional for saying Obama followed them on Twitter, and was incarcerated in a psych ward until they lied and said they'd realized they were delusional and Obama didn't follow them. The thing is, he did. It was true and verifiable, but the medical professional evaluating them refused to check if it was true so they didn't "encourage the delusion". Sane people tend to believe they have an absolute and correct understand of reality, and a lot of them would rather call you delusional than adjust their worldview. And if that person is a medical professional, they can completely turn your life upside down and stick you in conditions that the UN has called torture.

So here's my proposed alternative: a delusion is an involuntary belief that isn't rooted in logic or evidence, and that a person can't stop believing even if they know it isn't true.

Let's break that down. The involuntary part is important. Delusional people don't have control over our delusions. We don't believe them because we want to or because we think they're true, we just believe them. It's true that delusions can draw on voluntary beliefs, including bigotry, but believing the delusion isn't a choice. We can't just stop. In the case of delusions rooted in bigotry, the person is still responsible for holding those bigoted beliefs in the first place, even though they don't have control of the delusion that came from them. This is an important caveat, because people love to call bigots delusional for things they chose to believe.

The second part is that it's not rooted in any kind of logic or evidence. If a person believes something untrue due to faulty logic and/or misinformation, that's not a delusion. That's called being wrong.

Lastly, I chose the wording "even if they know it's not true" very deliberately. Some delusional people know, either always or sometimes, that our delusions aren't real or true. I personally always know, but that never stops me believing them. If you've never experienced this, it can be hard to imagine what it feels like to know something isn't true and still be unable to stop believing in it. It's contradictory and confusing and really hard to put into words. Of course, there are also delusional people who don't know their delusions aren't true, or who're confused and can't figure it out. It's not the same for everyone. This part of the definition also covers being presented evidence and being unable to accept it as true.

For some people, being told their delusions aren't true can also be extremely distressing and even push them further into it. Never reality check a delusional person unless they ask you to, or it's part of a crisis plan you made with them. The same goes for playing into or confirming a delusion. Do your best to remain neutral on whether or not their belief is true, and try to focus more on their emotions and how it's affecting them. If you know a psychotic person, it's a good idea to ask them (preferably while they're not having a psychotic episode) how they'd like you to handle it.

I'm open to critique from other psychotic people, but if you're aggressive or mean I'll probably just ignore you. This is just an idea, a rough draft, and I'd like to know what the community thinks. Nonpsychotics can reblog, but keep your thoughts to yourself

-Oliver (it/its)

#the quicksilvers say #psychosis #delusions #schizophrenia #actually psychotic #actually delusional #actually schizophrenic #unreality #paranoia inducing

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drifting-bones · 4 months

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i feel like i don't deserve to have friends or anyone who cares about me. i'm scared and i know i'm just paranoid but all i can think about is how much they probably don't like me and how they'd rather be around somebody else. i can't even talk to them about this because what are they supposed to do?

#vent blog #vent post #bpd #bpd vent #actually borderline #actually bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd mood #actually paranoid #ppd #actually ppd #cluster b #paranoia #actually psychotic

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adhbabey · 1 year

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i think like. so much would be solved if we normalized the fact that some people do experience delusions and hallucinations. like yes, its something that those people need help with/need more accommodations for, but we could use being more understanding of people with psychotic symptoms in general.

like, i can tell you that at least one person raving about conspiracy theories is someone who experiences delusions, and if we understood that, we wouldn't have such a hard time getting them back to a more grounded perspective.

i am someone who experiences delusions and I do get incredibly triggered by all the unreality bullshit, the simulation theories, all that unreal bullshit, and it is actively negatively impacting people like me.

we could really use a better understanding of those with these symptoms, because acting like having hallucinations/delusions makes you a killer is a take that makes zero sense. Like, genuinely, you have no idea what you're talking about if that's where you immediately go. I can point out a bunch of shit discussing the darkness of humanity and that logic applies to anyone, regardless of mental illness. Delusions and hallucinations don't mean you'll act on anything, it just means that your brain is creating false images or thoughts, and that can get really fucking confusing.

We could use a little more empathy or compassion towards those with these symptoms, because obviously this shit isn't going away for us, just like other disabled people dealing with their disabilities. We are not idiots or monsters, our brain just gives us random false shit sometimes and it really fucking sucks. Be more understanding or I'll telepathically insert false shit into your brain one day, y'all should see the nightmare that some of us have to deal with.

#babey posts #actually delusional #delusions #hallucinations #schizo spectrum #actually psychotic #psychosis #paranoia #hypervigilance #honestly if i wasnt aware of my paranoia. id probably believe a lot of the conspiracy theories out there because of it #like that shit is so strong it makes me feel like everyone's out to get me #and i know they're not! my delusions are just delusions #but for some people. they struggle to tell about that sort of thing and i dont fucking blame them #and we should be more accommodating of people who experience symptoms like this in general #i can handle unreality to an extent. but there's some people who can't handle it at all.#be more respectful and understanding and dont trigger people for fun

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ladyylavenderrr · 3 months

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Considering writing a fic where Julian takes Garak’s insistence that the Federation has planted some kind of mind controlling device in his head more seriously. The crew kinda brushes it off as silly old Garak, all paranoid about nothing, but considering Julian knows he has a history of drug addiction and mental illness (Garak is practically suicidal in The Wire), and highly likely abuse (if Julian hasn’t figured out Tain was abusive by now, he never will), psychosis is a definite worry. And I’ve seen some people say Garak wasn’t being serious saying this, which I guess is possible, but realistically, Julian should be worried either way. This would also be me finally exploring Garak’s psychosis properly in a fic, and I definitely see him as being psychotic after all the events of ASIT

#star trek #ds9 #deep space nine #elim garak #julian bashir #garashir #psychosis #psychotic Garak my beloved #so many instances of hallucinations in ASIT #how much of his paranoia might be spy trauma and how much might be psychosis?#because the mind reading device idea definitely reads like a delusion to me #but other things he says are ambiguous in that regard #season 6 episode 5 Favor The Bold

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thiccvix · 2 years

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edited by muah

#psychotic #schizoaffective bipolar #schizoaffective disorder #schizo memes #I made it #my meme #meme #neurodivergent #schizophrenia #hallucinations #paranoia

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cannibal-nightmares · 28 days

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spent a whole hour pacing circles because paranoia wouldn't let me accept my friend's dinner offer, wrote out a whole rant+analysis on it to help me process what was happening, got too stressed out, stuck it in my drafts, texted my friend back saying my brain was too fuzzy, and now my ears won't stop ringing. they were kind about it but sheesh ooga booga spaghetti or whatever

#fighting delusions and admitting to paranoia make me feel so feguckin humbled im being so fr #actually schizophrenic #actually schizospec #actually psychotic #cannibal-nightmares rambles

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delusionalculture-is · 3 months

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Delusional + paranoia culture is hearing a scratch on the bathroom door at 11 at night and *knowing* that it had to be the cat, but being unable to shake the fear and dread that there’s a horrible eldritch monster outside waiting to harvest your soul

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#delusional culture is #psychotic #actually psychotic #schizospec #schizophrenia #psychosis #delusional #paranoia

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king-casino · 2 years

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can we PLEASE destigmatize paranoia and paranoid delusions? Cuz like, its pretty obvious that non-psychotics don't take us seriously. Just because I think there's someone in my vents or that people are conspiring against me doesnt mean I'm crazy! Stop putting us in the trope of "crazy delusional person"! Our mental health and neurodivergence is NOT you gag, or joke, or silly character trait!! Its something VERY REAL that we have to live with EVERY DAY!! Could you imagine living in constant fear, not even being able to trust those close to you? Not even being able to trust your own FAMILY? I mean, can't y'all have just a SLIVER of empathy for us?

#actually paranoid #paranoia #psychosis #schitzophrenia #actually psychotic #actually szpd #actually schizophrenic #actually schizotypal #ablism #activism #activist #mental health #neurodivergent

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alixisherebutringagain · 8 months

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TW: paranoia, homicidal thoughts, aggressive thoughts

Something I feel isn't talked about enough is the guilt.

I feel so guilty.

I'm sorry I don't trust you, I know you're my sister, I know you're my family, I know you're my soulmate, I know you're my best friend. I don't trust you. I can't. And I'm sorry for it.

I'm sorry I scared you, I'm sorry I can't listen to you, I'm sorry I annoy you, I'm sorry I took your time.

And it's more than that.

How do you deal with the guilt of homicidal/agressive thoughts ? How can you ever forgive me ? How will I ever forgive myself ?

I get so paranoid in the street I scream in my head "come close to me and I'll punch you, I'll make you pay, I'll make sure you can't walk again" and is the fact that I am terrified an excuse ? Is it a good enough excuse ? Is it forgivable ?

How can I ever look people in the eye when I daydreamt I unalived them ? What if they knew ? What would they do ? Would they make me pay ?

I am a mess and I am guilty and I am scared which makes me enraged which makes me even more guilty which makes me even more scared and it's never ending but how could it ever end ?

No one who hasn't had thoughts like this will ever understand. I know how they'd look at me if they knew. I look at myself the same way.

Sorry for the vent.

#schizo spectrum #mental illness #schizophrenia #schizophrenic spectrum #schizotypal personality disorder #disorganized speech #psychosis #schizotypal #paranoia #psychotic disorders #homicidal thoughts #aggressive thoughts #guilt #guilty #i am a mess #i hate mirrors

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ionlytalktodogs · 4 months

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Man it is deeply and intensely frustrating to live a life with psychosis. Basically anything spiritual will throw me into a spiral so quickly.

I used to love tarot cards. I still collect the decks because they’re quite lovely. I trained for years to be a proper tarot card reader only for it to horribly trigger my psychosis in a way that made me realize it needed to be cut out entirely. “The paper cards do not control my life” was a mantra I had to repeat to myself every day for as many years as I had trained to believe in and understand them.

When the shifting trend was big on TikTok I couldn’t be on the app at all because seeing it mentioned even slightly immediately sent me down a spiral.

I hate how this disorder controls me.

#I thought I was over it.#I thought I could be okay #then I watched a video on subliminals #paranoia #psychosis #actually psychotic #seriously schizophrenic #my ramblings

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