#my disorder is not something to laugh at | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alixisherebutringagain · 9 months

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Psychotic episode are fucking terrifying so sorry if I don't like when you use the word "delulu" and sorry if I don't want to talk to you because you think I'm crazy or dangerous and sorry if you think I'm exaggerating BUT FUCK YOU BECAUSE I WAS TERRIFIED.

I WAS SCARED.

I WAS LIKE A KID SCARED OF THE DARK.

HOW DARE YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY.

I WAS AFRAID TO GET KILLED, I WAS TERRIFIED OF GOING OUTSIDE I WAS CONVINCED OF HORRIBLE THINGS I COULDN'T SPEAK I COULDN'T MOVE I WAS TRAPPED IN MY BRAIN SO FUCK YOU.

Fuck anyone who thinks psychotic episodes are funny. Fuck anyone who judges someone for being on the schizo spec. Fuck anyone who laughs at this.

#schizo spectrum #mental illness #schizophrenia #schizophrenic spectrum #schizotypal personality disorder #disorganized speech #psychosis #schizotypal #psychotic disorders #actually psychotic #paranoia #delusional #tw delusion #my disorder is not something to laugh at #try going through a psychotic episode before talking about it #transient psychotic episode

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cowboy-robooty · 4 months

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i dont got a gaurdian angel or devil on my shoulder but i do imagine grandad (robert freeman) from the boondocks reacting to everything around me

#been like this for like two months now or something #everytime im too exhausted to get up but am like 'i need to get up to eat dinner' i hear grandads voice like #'have sleep for dinner youre getting fat anyway'#that sounds bad it sounds like i have an eating disorder or some shit that is not true. i love to eat im monkey d luffy irl and its not a #joke. me and wiener are fucking beasts we will go 20 minutes without eating and go gawd... im so hungry rn...#but sometime my demon of a bed traps me like quicksand again and im like i need to eat food.. but god sleep feels so good....#i love the have sleep for dinner youre getting fat anyway line okay it makes me laugh so fucking hard riley be starving af #pretty boy flizzy episode 😍😍😍#i think about the allowance line too all the fuckin time #you want an allowance? i ALLOW you to eat my food. i ALLOW you to burn my electricity. i ALLOW you to sleep in my bed!#robert freeman is so deadass i love him especially when he thought riley was gay and heard tom say all the good things about gay people and #and went 'damn thats a lot of good shit... nah still gotta disown him'#LOL #grandad was not rockin wit that gangstalicious manbag

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buysomecheese · 7 months

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I forget how simply I can fall into addictive habits and I forget how many things this can be applied to. I forget how much physical contact is compared to a drug and I forget how accurate that comparison often is.

#I have spent like >6 hours at a close friend's house every weekend since like mid-August #and I end up holding him Often it's usually a Fair Amount of physical contact #so I usually feel great on Monday and by Thursday I kinda want to punch people who aren't part of That Group Of Five #it's an issue! there are so many people I love at school but if I don't get adequate exercise during week or physical contact over weekends #-I turn into a bit of an asshole (this week was worse I had my period for the first time in like forever)#like by Wednesday I'm planning the weekend figuring out how to get my fix of holding him and hearing everyone laugh #because otherwise I'll go insane!#anyways I need to address my crush on him with him this weekend because I'll explode if I don't.#and we're going to the aquarium in a bigger group than usual if even one thing goes wrong I'm killing.#like if the person I Do Not Like says something out of line? gone.#but I think I'm gonna Converse on Saturday and aquarium is Sunday so hopefully we'll figure something out idk #NEVER HAVE I DONE DRUGS OR DRANK ALCOHOL addiction runs in my extended family + sh/disordered eating habits can be considered addictions-#-depending on severity and how it affects someone

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boomerang109 · 6 months

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I hate mental illness so much

#Im mostly having a good day like #my mom sent me the iron supplements she took when she had anemia and like #for having 14-20 hours of rehearsal in the last 48 hours I am surprisingly energized so like clearly they’re working #but I simply cannot get myself to eat #and because of that I haven’t left the house and like I’m not yet late for class #but if I don’t leave soon I will be #but I can’t go to class without eating #cause I skipped dinner last night thinking I’d wake up feeling less like this #and still this morning I just don’t want to eat #I think I’m just gonna have cheerios cause I think I’m just overthinking it #like trying to force myself to have protein when really I just need to have SOMETHING #but ugh #literally my 10-11am hour is supposed to be for working and I woke up at 8am and have done NOTHING #live laugh love #life of a boomerang #disordered eating tw

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machinedramon · 4 months

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legit wondering if when I start going to the doc for all my physical shit I should ask abt who I should see abt maybe getting mood stabilizers

i'm sick of this unending cycle of getting eight million ideas and scrambling from one to the next before burning myself out on all of them and falling into a depression and hating myself for not doing any of the eight million things I was excited about

#i am losing my fucking mind here i cant fucking take it anymore #i dont think im bipolar i just think the adhd takes the wheel and fucking floors it #i dont have delusions of grandeur (not more than a flight of fancy that i know is unrealistic anyway) or like. euphoria.#i also dont not remember stuff from from those surges of inspiration #i mean i might forget something but thats bc i got distracted and my brain dumped it to focus on New Shiny Thing #this is the equivalent of my 2AM mental breakdown so bear with me here i am Going Through It when i should be sleeping #also it feels like theres shit crawling on me and there isnt but i cant sleep bc i am ITCHY WHY AM I ITCHY WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE THIS #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #fun fact: the sensation of shit crawling on you is called formication #which is really fucking funny #like i understand its from formica meaning ant but it is literally one letter away from fornication #anyway doing my usual webmd doom spiral and guess what gets formication as a symptom sometimes: bipolar disorder #im gonna laugh if i get a bipolar dx but it doesnt seem right #all the other options were autoimmune disorders like parkinson's and MS and fibro and RA #which. i might actually have rheumatoid arthritis. but the others? theyre scary. i dont wanna deal with that.#i dont even wanna deal with RA lets be real #farmer voice: i was just fine before i went to the doctor and now all of a sudden ive got an immune disorder #wait i dont think parkinson's is an autoimmune disorder thats a neurological condition #ok carry on #more fun facts since i am now down a wikipedia rabbit hole to distract myself from my itchy self #the process of ur limb falling asleep and going numb is called obdormition #then when the feeling starts coming back the pins and needles feeling is paresthesia #formication is an uncommon kind of paresthesia #obdormition is our funny word of the day and i look forward to telling someone about it randomly or for it to show up in a crossword soon #bc u know how u find something new and suddenly it's everywhere?#yeah. i get the feeling thats gonna happen here.

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mars-ipan · 1 year

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so fucking annoying having a “common” disorder sometimes i’m sick of being fucking dismissed

#marzivents #<- preemptive bc i’m bitter abt it #i made a joke abt trying to get every accomodation for my anxiety that i can #and my own mother. who HAS THE SAME FUCKING ILLNESS. compared me to fucking eric cartman????#for making a silly about my mental illness? and saying ‘i have anxiety so u need to be nice to me’ for a LAUGH????#like 1- i’m not fucking lying when i say i need extra help for my anxiety shit #and 2- do not compare me to a fucking south park character because he faked an anxiety disorder for a couple of episodes #like fuck you. what the fuck is wrong with you #‘half the world has anxiety marley’ 1- not true like statistically 2- while anxiety is relatively common that doesn’t mean i don’t need #extra help because of it???? hello????? what the shit #and EVERY time i try to say something about how it makes me feel she pulls the experience card and patronizes me!!!#i get it i’m 18 i don’t know everything. but i fucking know myself!!!#sometimes i just feel like my family thinks i’m looking for excuses to feel bad. which is so FRUSTRATING #because EVERY DAY of my life i am trying to improve and make my mindset healthier and work hard to be the best happiest me i can be #it’s just that sometimes doing my best is feeding myself and brushing my teeth #it bugs me so much coming from her because i know she has it too #like. i know you had to spend the first 30 years of your life denying your mental health to get out of hell #but i don’t. your whole goal in life was to make sure that your kids didn’t have to do that to succeed #so when i tell you i’m struggling or dare to crack a fucking joke about it once in awhile #why is it that suddenly i’m the bad guy or trying to make myself a victim #can i just need fucking help??? in peace??? does it have to be a whole fucking thing #like sorry do i not deserve it? am i not sick enough? god #and this is all IGNORING the fact that it is highly likely i have something else too #i’ve had depressive episodes since middle school. i have many adhd symptoms #fuck man! maybe ur kid who’s been an expert at masking since fucking elementary school is going through a bit more than they look to be!#almost like it’s a subconscious impulse for them to look better than they feel!#and i’m not even doing that bad right now!#i’m super burnt out but i’m coping really well! i’m getting shit done i’m working hard i’m still taking care of myself!!#i’ve managed to still laugh and love and feel joy despite despite despite #and all i want is some goddamn recognition once in a while. i am so SICK of being overlooked. fuck

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volinare · 7 months

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maybe YOUR crazy. my favorite color is green though so im like, about as normal as they get

Fact Checkers Or Whatever the Format Of This Is: this poster has DID, the multiple parts that share their brain have many favorite colors. The alter who posted this favorite color is Orange. 'Orange' is also the official answer for the system. I like green tho.

#and i like RED!!!!! hahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahag #nothing trully makes me laugh anymore #i have no idea how to make a joke or be funny on the internet #i just post things in a haze that make me feel the slightest bit of joy while staring at my phone with a splitting grin #thats a lie i totally laugh sometimes #like at jokes even #sorry i got 'diagnosed' or something recently #i literally already knew i had it but like #what the fuck #and then on top of this im on the truman show so its like #well i got the confirmation im going to get diagnosed #but also it coukd totally be a lie #and im on the truman show so maybe this is all one big production #also may or may not have delusional disorder #so take that. people who think i dont have delusions #i may or may not have The Delusion Disorder #my therapist brought that one up and i brough up skitzotypal #because thats what ive always thought it was #but we didnt have time to talk about it #so its up in the air #i will admit i like delusional disorder A LOT better lol #fucking. good luck to future me though with that on your papers LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#okay i need to go breath or something im stuck in the tags and it is not helping

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mtb-girlies · 2 years

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Currently in my villain era (by this I mean I’m disconnecting from everyone I know for the second time this week)

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fagonite · 2 years

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ppl who think the term sysmed is genuinely a worthwhile term that should be used are so fucking hilarious

#like yea go ahead compare me to my oppressors for laughing at you for saying syshopping is real or something #anyway DID and OSDD and other disasociative disorders are real and important to know about in order for some ppl to live a functional life #‘endogenic’ systems do not exist. all real systems form frm trauma n every real endo ive ever met had either repressed trauma or convinced-#-themselves tht whatever happened ‘wasn’t serious enough to count’ or something #not to mention like #‘tulpas’ are culturally appropriative af and in the popular online form ppl use to ‘make’ alters of their fav charas arent actually a thing #like its just ppl hypnotizing themselves to act apeshit its really embarrassing #meow #ANYWAY.#hi mutuals how are you #annoyingsyspost

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kaijutegu · 5 months

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Today I was talking with my mom about why seeing an alligator is fundamental to my mental health. At first she laughed but I got her to listen and she gets it now. My psychiatrist and I call this the alligator litmus test, and it works really well for making decisions about my treatment. I bring this up because perhaps there is something in your life that you can use in a similar fashion.

I have severe major depressive disorder, and I treat this depression with medication. I've been on meds for about... seven years now, and sometimes we have to mess with them. But sometimes the emotional part of the depression is just super bad and there's something underneath that needs to be addressed. When we are figuring this out, my psychiatrist says to take one alligator and call her in the morning.

See, no matter how bad I'm feeling, seeing an alligator almost always cheers me up in the moment. (This works with other large crocodilians, too- they gotta be big, it doesn't work with caimans. I don't know why.) I can't look at their goofy toofers and beautiful eyes and bumpy hides and not be a little wowed by them. Millions of years of evolution have led to this amazing creature and they are completely unbothered by me. Almost all of the time, they make me feel happy. Or maybe I'll feel sad for some unspecified reason. Maybe I'll get worried about the ecosystem or something- but invariably, I will FEEL.

Unless, of course, it's my brain chemistry. If I can experience an alligator and not feel anything- not happy, not sad, just numb- there's something wrong and we should talk about adjusting my meds. Usually with a little tweaking I'm back to my very functional medicated baseline in quick order- instead of wasting time with coping skills and such alone when what I really need is brain chemicals, it's a much quicker way to communicate what's going on with me. At the same time, it also helps me know when the coping skills ARE likely to work without changing up my meds, or when there's something I need to work through with some help.

It's a pretty solid test. Might not work for anyone else on the planet, but it works great for me!

#mental health #the alligator litmus test

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gallusrostromegalus · 11 months

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I love it when characters are immune to psychic attacks/emotional manipulation magic/psychoactive drugs or whatever, but for DEEPLY mentally ill reasons.

Fear gas? I already have an anxiety disorder. Also you don't know the meaning of fear until you have a category 5 autism event in the middle of a social scene and know you'll get severely punished if you act out

Depression aura? Bitch I live an economically productive, nutritionally balanced and physically active life that other people rely on like this.

Haunted? How would my ADHD ass even know?

Pain machine? Hm. If your machine's "10/10" is my "4", I should probably talk to my doctor about better meds.

Oh, we're all mutually unintelligible? This is Tuesday with Autism and Audio Processing issues.

There's something very cathartic about a character facing down the horrors and laughing because the antagonist can't even get close to what they already live with.

#i thought of the stupidest way for As Nodt to be defeated in AEIWAM #the scene is titled 'The Mental Hellscape Of A Purse Chihuahua'

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kindnessoverperfection · 9 months

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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

#actuallynpd #signal boost #actuallyautistic #mental health awareness #narcissistic personality disorder #people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias #(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar #mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo #anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that #he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful #misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included #several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and #he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he #was glad he did #fun times #or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to #support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma #bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me #trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times

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rosesradio · 1 year

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#i am not gonna lie. it is so hard seeing anything in society in general/especially online about weight loss--#that isn't literally just 1.) a scam or 2.) promoting an eating disorder #like i just wanna lose 15 lbs before a trip/the summer just because #(not that anyone should feel they have to or anything etc etc)#but everything i see is like 'wanna slim up?? pay me 140$ right now for magic protein powder!!' or 'eat nothing & manifest your thinness !!'#like i'm so. tired.#not that i want to blame people with an ed it is after all a disorder & i can sympathize struggling with disordered eating #but i don't wanna fall down that rabbit hole again you know?#sigh i dunno. i did find one yt channel where this guy broke down those 'eating 500 calories a day' tiktoks & promoted different healthy--#eating instead so at least that's something #but i don't wanna talk with anyone else about it because my family all just laughs it off when i say i wanna lose weight--#because even if i don't eat out for two weeks if someone else takes me out suddenly they start joking about how i'm not serious ://#wow this is getting way out of hand sorry--#tw vent #tw food #tw weight loss #rose.txt

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blackboxwarrior · 9 months

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Hey wanna be a better ally to people with delusions, mania, dissociative disorders and other disorders that effect your view on reality? Heres a simple tip! STOP TAKING PICTURES OF OUR SHIT AND REPOSTING IT

See a car around town with funny writing about the world ending soon or the government injecting people with microchips? NOT YOUR PROBLEM

See a post online written in a frantic cadence where someones providing their unhinged perspective on something relatively mundane? SCROLL RIGHT ON BY

See a dirty man in public holding a weird sign and talking about things that dont make sense? GIVE HIM A BOTTLE OF WATER MAYBE BUT DONT YOU DARE TAKE A FUCKING PICTURE

See any of the things described above posted for shock value and laughs? CALL IT OUT OR IGNORE IT

See something like the above but the person in question has politics you disagree with? YOUD STILL BE A CUNT IF YOU TOOK A PICTURE

Ive been that psychotic person before. Ive been screencapped without my knowledge by people who wanted to get a laugh out of my (unhinged) beliefs. This did absurd amounts of damage, got me harrassed, made me paranoid.

#actually psychotic #actually bipolar #actually dissociative #mental health

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mimikyu-chr · 5 months

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Some days, DID looks like constant spacing out and never seeming fully there. Missed bits of conversations and a memory that doesn’t seem like it wants to work.

Sometimes it looks like talking to myself, constant internal noise and heightened sensory sensitivity.

Some days DID looks like being emotional for seemingly no reason, crying, laughing, anger over something I don’t know, emotional bleed-through from other alters.

Other days it just looks like severe PTSD. Avoidance, spacing out, needing help to ground myself. Flashbacks that I honestly can’t remember the triggers of, or remember the full event of, but that I know are flashbacks.

And sometimes it just looks like nothing at all. I seem put-together and relatively normal. You’d never know I had a dissociative disorder.

The day-to-day severity of my symptoms do not determine what mental illness I have. I still have DID and I still struggle with it whether you can see it or not.

#disabled #DID #dissociative disorder #dissociative system #traumagenic system #DID system #hc-DID system #madpunk #my symptoms change #my disorder dosent though #I’m still disabled when I can mask it #ellie.chr

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leiazher · 1 year

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Will tag as well but: TW: eating disorder, vomiting, medical neglect.

Heavy sarcasm under the readmore.

If you are overweight, the following behaviors are normal and should not be cause for concern:

Eating food with the express intent to self purge (Vomit)

Complete avoidance to food to the point of passing out.

Avoidance behaviors in relation to food situations (Invite to mom's for breakfast, restaurants, walking past diners, etc)

Exercising to the point of passing out.

Eating, but if eating over a certain point, starting to eat until fit for bursting and then throwing up.

Obsessively counting calories. (Did you know a sugar free soda can contain as few as 6 calories per 100 ml, but a regular soda can contain around 60 calories per 100 ml?)

Not eating something unless it's under 100 cal.

Obsessively finding ways to eat less while it seems like you're eating more.

Obsessively looking up low calories recipes and then removing elements of it to lower the contents further.

Looking forward to purging.

Taking four diet pills per day (rec. dose one per day.)

Choosing to sleep instead of eat.

Feel brutal panic + get panic attacks at the thought of eating.

Feel food repulsed.

Do not contact your doctor about these behaviors if your BMI is above 19.9, you'll just be wasting everyone's time.

#tw eating disorder #tw vomiting #eating disorder #vomiting #self harm #implied medical neglect #oh it IS medical neglect I just didn't state that crystal fucking clear in the post #Hi I've been trying to get care for six years and I am so fucking tired #I am fully and wholly AWARE that my relation to food is highly abnormal #but can I do something about it? Ha. Ha. Ha yeah sure I'll get right on that #HOW?! How do I do this? I can't do this on my own #I'm so tired so now I laugh #And oh how I laugh and laugh and laugh #and then I weep because... really quite few things left to do #I've tried every instance. every healthcare professional who just might help me. every city within an hour ride #every online portal that wasn't a sham. every private psychologist I could afford one visit with #'we don't treat this here'#'there's nothing wrong'#'this instance will treat you'#'no we won't try this one'#'what no we don't do that here go to these people'#I'm tired #I'm very tired

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