disabled trans person need help paying for food, necessities + shipping supplies for shop after being homeless for 6 months

hello, my name is equinox, i am severely disabled autistic trans person dealing with schizophrenia, PTSD, arthritis, hypermobile ehlers-danlos syndrome, degenerative disc disease and gastroparesis. i am a wheelchair and cane user. i am recovering and stabilizing after being homeless for 6 months; i just spent 2 full months living in a hotel paying $38/night. i have relocated into my apartment that i was waiting 6 months for due to the subsidized housing program taking forever to calculate my earned income

i just paid $307 for my deposit + prorated rent in order to move in, as well as a $20 electric bill and a $35 bill to get internet set up, which is required for my jewelry business. i also had i also currently need a lot of things in order to make my house livable including a bed and food, and being able to get to the pharmacy for my medications. right now i have no food in my home due to having to spend money on uber XLs to and from my motel and storage unit in order to get the few possessions i have like blankets and personal belongings. i lost a lot of my kitchen supplies when transitioning between staying with friends for a while

i have almost no money on me right now. i will be re-stocking my shop with new items later today, but for now I need help being able to afford my living expenses as well as being able to afford to ship my products out to my customers. thank you to everyone who has helped thus far you have kept me safe for 6 months. you can help me here:

cash app: $glitterGraphix pay pal: glittergraphicnightmare@ gmail .com chime: $Equinoxian venmo: $Equinoxian

please include schizospectrum people in your mental health positivity post. please actually include schizophrenic, schizoaffective, schizotypal, schizoid and other psychotic people. still to this day, i get called dangerous for being schizophrenic. my last ex told me they "knew" i would lash out and become dangerous and that they shouldn't have dated me specifically because i'm schizophrenic. i never lashed out to hurt them, by the way, but they routinely hurt me.

schizospectrum disorders do not make someone inherently dangerous. people still believe this firmly. our fight isn't over we still have to continue to speak about schizospec people and how unfairly we are treated. we are dehumanized instantly the second people find out about our conditions. we are treated like ticking time bombs. people openly admit that we are scaring them when we talk about our psychosis and how it affects us.

people tell us to calm down and that our delusions aren't real and that we're overreacting. people give reality check us and force us to try to think in ways that scare us. people refuse to trust our own accounts of our own lives and what is happening to us, even when we are not actively delusional or hallucinating. people infantilize us and treat us like we're stupid and have zero autonomy.

we are not dangerous. we are not scary. we are literally just existing in a world that refuses to accept us. please keep talking about schizospectrum struggles and how we need to be seen as just another human, just like anyone else. we can be as unique and varied as anyone else with any other neurotype. we are not all the same person, and we are not inherently dangerous or scary.

Here's a reminder to fight the internalized sanism/ableism in your head.

If you have executive dysfunction, don't compare your productivity to people who don't.

If you have anhedonia, don't compare your struggling to keep up with hobbies to someone who doesn't.

If you have paranoia, don't think of your fears as any less valid than the fears of someone who doesn't.

If your meds make you tired constantly, don't compare your energy levels to someone who doesn't take those meds.

If you have issues with concentration, then you won't be able to pay attention as well as someone who doesn't.

If you're in the deep end of a pool, then you can't compare how well you keep your head above water to someone who is standing in a kiddie pool.

Please try to think of these things when you feel "lazy" or "childish" or "a failure" compared to other people that don't struggle with the same symptoms as you. If you have a mental illness that will affect how you act in everyday situations, then it will in fact affect you in everyday situations. It's not an excuse, it's just a reality. We need to try to be kinder to ourselves.

shoutout to high masking schizophrenics and psychotics. i know it's hard to be struggling so much but not able to let anyone see. you shouldn't have to worry about being mocked, harassed, abused, or assaulted for being yourself. for being different. for being confused. for being afraid... you deserve to be able to exist and get the support you need, not shove everything down and keep it to yourself, just to avoid more hurt. you shouldn't have to do this alone. your presence, thoughts, and feelings are just as important as anyone else's.

i hope you're able to get the compassion and community and care you need someday. and until then, know that even if you don't know us, there are people who are rooting for you - people who understand and want the best for you. as long as you're here, you are not truly alone in this. you are loved.

I don’t like the doctor who diagnosed me with ID, autism, and other disorders that I have. He is a white old man who is bigoted. And I hate him for it.

My experience with him was good until I saw him in my teens. By my teens, it had been established that I was hallucinating, and having symptoms of some type of schizospec disorder that they couldn’t figure out.

However, when I saw him, he did a whole neuropsych exam, and after that he came to the conclusion that I was hallucinating as a manipulation tactic to get my mother to stop being so strict with me. He said this with me in the room. Of course I was appalled because, what the actual fuck? I was hallucinating, having delusions, having cognitive problems, having severe paranoia, so my mother could be less strict?

That was the last, and final time I have seen him. And I will refuse to see him again. I did have the chance to see him again for another neuropsych exam recently, but I refused.

Doctors, even really smart and ones that have been good in the past, can be bigots. I will not even go into detail right now about how he treated my black sister, but it wasn’t good either. This is sadly very common in the medical industry, and not the first time a doctor has said something similar to me.

hallucination trauma IS trauma

I just cannot imagine being the kind of ableist asshole one would have to be to try and deliberately trigger a paranoid person for any reason

if you do it as a way to punish the person for doing something you don't like, you instantly lose your claim to moral superiority and are an awful person

if you do it because you think it's funny, you're an awful person

paranoid people are deserving of basic humanity, just like everyone else is, regardless of how you feel about paranoid people as individuals or as a group. it is never justified or acceptable to knowingly set out to trigger someone.

weirdos stick together cuz if we talked with a normal person about delusions or psychosis they'd treat us like monsters

this user experiences hallucinations

Heh

it should be illegal for real bugs to come into my room as someone who has had hallucinations of bugs for years and the delusion of being infested with bugs. like come on, don’t make me doubt that my hallucinations are actually real because one real bug decided my room would be a great place to hang out

Manic episode bingo! (Written at 3am during a manic episode lmao)

For bipolar, schizoaffective, cyclothymic disorder, and the like (if you have manic episodes, use it! I don’t really care what mental illness causes yours. All is valid which is why I made it as inclusive as possible, so no gatekeepers or ableists though I know saying this won’t stop anyone)

Here’s mine 🔥🎉📸👁️🫦👁️✨💥💪

every schizospec person deserves respect- severely paranoid schizospec people who struggle to form relationships, schizospec people who can't form complete sentences and struggle to converse, schizospec people who talk about their delusions with strangers, schizospec people who can't tell reality from fiction, schizospec people who are affected and unnerved by their hallucinations, schizospec people who struggle with hygiene and dressing themselves, schizospec people who can't double bookkeep, homeless schizospec people, addicted schizospec people, unmedicated schizospec people, and so on and so forth. all of us, not just those of us who can hold down jobs or be in education

Do you have a severe mental illness that can/has caused a mental health emergency? Are you currently stable? You should make a basic safety plan! [Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional, this advice is taken from my own experiences and what I learned in inpatient psychiatric facilities. This post caters more to those who experience severe psychotic episodes as that is my experience.]

1. Find a safe person. Someone you often spend time with that you can trust with the details of your mental illness and feel safe around. Ask them if they are comfortable being the person to look out for you if you have a mental health emergency. Preferably someone you live with. If no one you live with fits this role, find someone you contact regularly.

2. Explain to the safe person what a mental health emergency looks like for you. Think of the way you presented in the past during mental health emergencies and try to describe it. You may have to describe it based on what others have told you if you had memory loss during episodes in the past.

3. Let them know how they can check with you to see if you are in a mental crisis. You might need them to ask you some questions to gage your mental state (examplse: Do you know where you are right now? Are you able to talk?). Tell them what questions to ask to find out if you are in a crisis.

4. Explain to them what you would want to happen in a mental health emergency. If they are able to see that you are indeed in a mental health emergency, what steps would you want them to take? If you will need to go to the hospital, but don't want to interact with police, let them know to tell that to emergency services. If there's a nearby inpatient facility you would want to go to, tell them which one and give them their contact info. If episodes typically pass on their own for you, let the safe person know how to keep you comfortable and safe until it passes.

5. Have an easily accessible contact paper or note on your phone with some basic info in case you can't speak to professional help while you are in a crisis. Add your name, birth date, your diagnoses, and exactly what medications you take and the dosages. You can add specific warnings or triggers about yourself (examples: Doesn't like being touched by medical professionals. Can react violently to loud noises). You can add contact info of people you'd want to let know about your situation. You can add your insurance information if you have it.

6. If you would have to go to a hospital/inpatient facility, let the safe person know if there's anything else you'd want them to handle once you get there. (Examples: Pack a bag of clothes for the inpatient stay. Feed my pets while I'm gone or ask someone else to. Contact my work place for me and let them know I won't be able to come in.)

Yes this is a long list, but I feel it's important to prepare and get your bases covered while you have the capacity to do so. Often when someone is in crisis they don't know how to ask for help, or what to do once they get help. Thinking of everything ahead of time saves you the extra worry later, or the extra worry of guessing by the people around you.

And if you are thinking "this is too much work to make someone else do!" Consider how much harder it would be if they found you in crisis and had no idea what to do and you wouldn't be able to tell them. If you have a severe mental illness that can/has caused you to be in a state of mental health emergency, you deserve to be cared for by others during the crisis.

i often feel lonely irt being schizo-spec & psychotic because i have very early onset schizoaffective disorder. i began experiencing magical thinking at 9, clinical psychosis at 11, and cognitive decline began thereafter. i just kind of grew up depressed and schizophrenic. but i didn't know anyone else like me. i still don't, and it hurts.

so to any other childhood schizospecs & psychotics, i see you and you aren't alone. you deserve support, autonomy, and safety, just like everyone else. please remember to be a little kinder to yourself, alright? you've been through so much, so young. it's okay to take things slow, to take breaks, and to follow an unconventional path. you don't have to be "normal." you're wonderful just as you are.

I am begging people to stop using "psychotic" as the newly popular insult synonymous with "unreasonable," "absurd," and "foolish." Aka character flaws. Psychosis is a clinical condition that happens to us against our will. It is one of the worst and most terrifying things that can ever happen to any human being.

English has, by far, the most words of any language. We have about 171,146 in current use and some of y'all are choosing to moralize schizophrenia, a highly heritable mental disease that is only in 1% of the population: a fuck ton of people, but still far too small proportionally to stand up for ourselves.

It's diabolical. Fuck you.