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jjkeremika · 3 months

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AoT men Vices

description: sex, drugs, cigarettes, and, well, you.

pairing: eren, armin, zeke, levi, reiner, jean (x fem!reader)

disclaimer/warning(s)?: stoner eren; oral(fem receiving); drinker zeke; groping; slutty levi; penetration; smoker reiner; rope play; gambler armin; fingering; jealous jean; choking; nsfwwwww

eren

• always high on weed/dabs/carts/edibles (doesn’t matter)

• his pale skin and green irises only accentuated the faint red tinge in the whites of his eyes, like a light blood splatter on american money

• hes tormented!! cut him a little slack. its not his fault his dad gave him the worst type ii bipolar disorder and narcissistic personality disorder a clinician’s ever seen

• gets horrendously horny when he’s high around you, starts touching and holding and kissing and biting you to get and keep your attention

• chews on his fingernails, jitters his legs, and licks and bites his lips as he stares at you, as he feels himself getting harder and harder at the thought of you getting wetter and wetter

• whines about how his throat is dry and he needs to taste you, to drink the liquid sliding out of you, until his tongue and jaw were cramping and his mouth was sore

• will pull you into his lap, gnaw on your shoulder and the lobe of your ear as his hands creep down your abdomen towards the source of the wet stain forming on his lap

• his voice lowers an octave as he begs to touch and taste you, as he asks if his hands and lips inching closer to your crotch is allowed and okay because he so desperately craves your approval

• “oh, baby, please, baby, only you can fix my dry mouth with your wet, pretty fucking pussy, god, baby, please, i’m so thirsty”

• moans so fucking loud when you finally give in and let him lick your clit, his fingers eagerly digging into your thighs as he pulls you so, so much closer, until there’s no air between his mouth and your skin

• devolves into demanding that you ride his face, hop and slide on his mouth with your shiny thick thighs with absolutely no hesitation, no regard for his lungs

zeke

• sad king who drinks most nights

• a gin and tonic or scotch on the rocks kind of man. likes the burn at the back of his throat on the way down

• confessed a similar reason to why he swims; liking the burning ache in his lungs when he holds his breath under the water. reminds him he’s alive

• has a poor relationship with his parents and half-brother. wants and sometimes tries to reconcile but he’s not really a people-person and he struggles to forgive

• divulges to you about his neglected dreams and pile of regrets, over analyzes situations until it all feels hopeless and meaningless

• holds you closer and tighter, at first because he’s fighting tears but then because he’s overcome with pure devotion because you’re here, with him, comforting him, every time

• and he’s certain you have so many other places you could be and more interesting people you can be with and yet you’re holding him too

• tells you that you mean the world to him, that he’s hopeless without you, that you give him something to smile and dream about, that he’d be nothing without you

• he’ll hold your wrists behind your back with one large hand and hold your neck with the other, prying your lips apart and re-introducing your tongues to each other, like he does every other night

• his hands roam as you kiss, his fingernails lightly tracing the goosebumps on your skin to the tail of your spine, the other hand following the curves of your ribcage to where your breast naturally interrupted

• “oh, i love your body, i live to please you, i live for you,” he’ll murmur for the thousandth time against your tongue as his long fingers clasp around your fleshy boob, squeezing with a fearful hold that you’ll pull away and leave him like everyone else

levi

• sex. with you. a lot.

• he doesn’t talk about his feelings or explain his emotions. there are no conversations about his past and his future. they all start one sided, and end in sex

• it’s a cop out. he knows it, you know it, but it’s so fucking good you don’t really care

• every time you try to ask about his family, his friends, his career, or even if he thinks there’s a future between you two, he’s avoiding the question and shoving his tongue down your throat

• he keeps his hand around your neck as he kisses you insistently, as he tries to kiss you until you’re dizzy and you forgot that he was trying to distract you in the first place

• gets needy and wanting, turning you around, stripping you, and bending you over before you could say a word

• impatient and selfish. he drops some lube into his palm and slicks his own cock up, shoving two or three fingers in you for short, to-be-desired thrusts before he’s gasping over you and inching the tip to your exposed muscles

• he chortles airily at the hearty moan you release once he presses inside, the euphoria encompassing his dick and shipping through his bloodstream

• he practically bends you in half, arranging you so he’s pounding into your pussy with your ass presented to his face and your own face shoved into a pillow, mascara and eyeshadow staining into the sheets at the growing desirable ache in your abdomen

• smacks your ass until his handprint is visible as he relentlessly shoves himself inside you, as he gives you every inch of muscle control and strength he has

reiner

• chronic cigarette smoker

• built balcony and patio attachments to your house so he could easily step outside

• you watched him build them shirtless and sweaty, a lighter tucked loosely in his low cut pant pockets and a cigarette lightly held behind his ear

• tries his best to cover the sour tobacco smell with rustic vanilla or mahogany colognes. up for debate when it worked, but the mix of scents really could be oddly pleasant sometimes

• he’s haunted by regrets he won’t even tell you about. doesn’t want to burden you, or rather burden himself with the knowledge that then you’d know too, and there really would be no running away

• you could see them as shadows behind his glassy eyes, always lingering when the lights were on and engulfing him in the dark

• you took it upon yourself to lift his moods, to break him free from the thought patterns that kept him chained to his lot in life

• brought the metaphor to life and bought handcuffs and rope, tied and locked his ankles and wrists to the bedposts, his vulnerability on full display

• his whole body was blushed pink as you gingerly caressed him, crawled up and down his rigid muscular body and ran your sharp fingernails and tongue down his center

• you reminded him he was chained down when he abruptly reached up and out for you, his wrists aggressively slapping back against the mattress or his legs threatening to break the post with fast squirms

• like a wolf chasing after a rabbit, reiner huffed and drooled over you and the sexy shapes you made with your hips as you wiggled all over him, grinded against him and relished in the whines and begs to be released from his holds and touch you

armin

• first got into gambling when eren convinced him to go to a casino for his 21st birthday

• and while the huge crowds and loud noises and overstimulating lights originally raised his anxiety, the adrenaline and excitement of playing and winning won out

• tried to quit a few times but always found his way back to gambling and betting

• card game aficionado. loves the tactile nature of it, always plays with the corners of the cards with his fingertips. sometimes you catch him shuffling and playing cards in his free time at home

• poker is easily his favorite, especially because he can read people like a book. you could never lie to or hide from him

• refuses to say it’s an addiction. it’s more of an intricate hobby, or a challenge he has to bet his way out of

• the worst part is he’s actually pretty good at it and wins more than seventy percent of the time. but when he loses, he loses and he obsesses over it for days

• during good streaks he buys you expensive knickknacks and trinkets and blankets and jewelry, takes you out to dinner more frequently

• feels extra confident when he’s on a hot winning streak, buying you lingerie and telling you to wear it, to turn it into a show for him in the bedroom with him sat on the bed and the lights on

• his hot hands and cold metal rings needily grasp at your sides, his wet tongue caressing the lacy line where the lingerie met your cleavage

• he’ll get impatient, too turned on with your dance to contain himself so he’ll pull you onto his hard erection and bite the nape of your neck to hold you in place

• he’ll stand up and turn you over, hover over you as the mattress shapes to your curves and armin’s hands follow

• loves fingering you with three to four fingers, his eyes doubling in size as he watches your muscles stretch and encompass the appendages. has to clutch the base of his dick like a cock ring to prevent himself from cumming at the site and at the warm, blankety feeling

• sometimes likes to be a bit cheeky and not take his rings off, letting the rings escape inside your opening and feeling it slide toughly against his skin in contrast to your so soft, so sensitive, so inviting body

• the cool metal of his rings was always enticing, and you always gasped heartily and physically thrived at the hard cold material inside

• “oh, shit, baby, i think my ring came off inside you,” he tells you calmly with a wide premeditated smirk, his fingers going limp inside you, “let me just get it out real quick”

• he’ll poke and prod and fold his fingers against your tissue as the ring moves loosely inside you, as you feel yourself building to an inescapable high with armin’s cheeky smirk between your legs as the ring just so happens to keep slipping from his grasp

jean

• jealous jeanyyyyyy

• glares at other men as they talk to you, even if it’s something as innocent as asking for directions or for a petition signature

• usually steps between you and the offending man, escalates the situation beyond necessity by antagonizing the man and firmly demanding an apology for wasting your time

• his blood just boils like hot water in a kettle when he sees you with someone else, someone that’s not him but it should be

• has issues sharing, so there was no way in hell you were slipping out of his attention, and he’s arrogantly insecure, to the excess point that you should only see and talk to him. he’s all you should need right?

• when he saw you calmly talking to eren he flipped his lid, said fuck it to the world and interrupted the conversation

• brings you to the nearest private (i.e., empty and lockable) room and pushes you against the wall or door, his hand firmly locking around your neck

• his hands were so large your whole neck was covered. his fingers were so long the tips touched at the back. his grip was present and firm, and maybe a bit threatening

• “do i speak another language to you? am i on another fucking planet so far you can’t even hear me?”

• he’ll slap the wall next to your ear with his open palm, smirk as you jump from surprise at the sudden outburst

• he leans closer to your ear, the pressure of his hand against your windpipe slightly increasing, his wet hot tongue flicking against your sensitive exposed ear

• “do i need to teach you another lesson?” another light squeeze. “on how to behave?”

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typicalopposite · 8 months

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These

Clips

Freaking

Hurt!

Let’s talk about them shall we??

I have spent an ungodly amount of time rewatching this movie. I think many of us have… and it’s really because like you can find soooo much hidden in just their facial expressions if you look hard enough!

Obviously the scenes are meant to parallel Alex and Henry after the emails are leaked.

Alex having the freedom to go confront the press and the world about their relationship while Henry isn’t allowed. He’s crying alone in the back of a car, but has to suck it up once it’s time to get out.

He’s being talked TO by his brother and talked ABOUT by the man with Shaan, whereas Alex is able to be the one, and the ONLY one, doing the talking. And if he doesn’t want to answer anyone questioning after that’s fine.

That’s sad in and of itself.

But I have been trying to figure out what Philip and the old man are saying since I first saw the movie and Alex is talking too loud it’s not easy to hear over him (typical Alex am I right?) but I was able to pick apart enough that… well it only makes it hurt worse.

Philip says “in fact I can believe it,” and after playing and replaying and going frame by frame I’m fairly certain right before this line he says Stupid. ie Likely calling Henry stupid which is why he can believe he would end up in this situation. (Can we all collectively agree Philip is the worst?!)

Then I’ve seen multiple takes on Henry’s body language in the last clip. One being that he wanted to speak but wasn’t allowed and thus shuts down. And while I agree with that take too… after many listens the old man is saying there is to be no communication with anyone from the American… something… but in short he’s not allowed to get in touch with Alex. And that may have been the reason he looks so defeated.

After everything, and Alex saying he will be as patient as Henry needs… now they aren’t even allowed to see each other, or in anyway contact each other (Zahra is Queen and fixes that with Shaan’s help but still) poor buddy probably does feel so hopeless!

Aight, there… I have made myself sad today, and potentially y’all too!

#red white and royal blue #rwrb #rwrb movie #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #henry hanover stuart fox #rwrb on prime #firstprince #alex x henry

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whoops-im-obsessed · 1 year

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(More) Things I Noticed in UKsies: Fansie Night Edition! (Act 1)

I was lucky enough to see newsies again at the fansie night last night and it was incredible!! Here are more little moments that I loved :) This is gonna be long.

The absolute roar from the audience as soon as the lights went down to start the show, fansies are something else, man, this audience was on fire

At the very beginning Race looks so happy reading the paper I can't his smile was so big - Josh Barnett has said that this is his favourite part of the show and it shows!!

Lady behind me tried to buy a paper from one of the newsies but he wouldn't give it to her because she didn't have cents

Matthew Duckett (Crutchie) can do the fingers-in-the-mouth loud whistle thing and uses it a lot during the show, first to call the newsies to work

Not me wondering the entire time how Race's cigar and Morris' cigarette work only to be reminded that e-cigarettes exist

My mum's face after Splasher did a backflip whilst skipping - Ross Dorrington, my God

'Hey! Hey! *spin* Get ya papes!'

The way the newsies just slide around the stage and careen off of it, its an accident waiting to happen but it looks so fun

Santa Fe Prologue, Jack yanks Crutchie away from that railing so fast poor guy he just wants to go down

Crutchie flinches away from Jack and laughs when he suddenly leaps towards him at 'close your eyes'

For like half of carrying the banner these boys are just half naked, you can see their mic packs running up their backs

Crutchie pickpockets Darcy

At some point Crutchie does something to offend Finch and gets whacked with his slingshot

Guy in front of woodside looks so sad the whole of the 'curdled coffee' bit and is contemplating life only to stand up and sing 'all I can catch is fleas'

He then proceeds to flick said fleas at another newsie who runs away and calls him disgusting

Wiesel descends from the ceiling

Alex James Hatton Davey!!

Alex's Davey is more mature than Ryan's, he seems more sure that he's here to do a job and isn't confused or intimidated by the newsies, he genuinely seems like an outsider who isn't in on the joke and is not impressed by their antics

'that's disgusting'

Henry gets on his knees and pretends to be a child in the line to get papes and keeps going 'I'm new too'

Right behind them a distraught Mike carries a limp Jojo who opens his eyes and says 'I'm dead' to Wiesel

Hannah and Bunsen squabble over a notebook in Bottom Line and Nunsio looks ready to commit

(Lindsay Atherton Hannah is amazing she is hilarious)

Alex Davey is very unsure selling papers to the audience he just kinda mumbles and seems a bit hopeless at it while Les just swindles everyone

The relationship between Alex!Davey and Les is very different to Ryan!Davey, Ryan is all over Les and is very affectionate whereas Alex seems to show the other half of large age gap sibling relationships, meaning he clearly cares about Les but also occasionally looks at him like he is the bane of his existence. Relatable.

Spot's actress is also a bowery beauty it's amazing, the bowery beauties also dance behind Medda during her performance and wink at the audience.

Newsie controlling the light for Medda's performance is concentrating Very Hard

Bobbie Chambers Katherine!!!

Bobbie!Katherine is very sarcastic and very uninterested in Jack but when he gives her the drawing makes a 'huh thats pretty good' face

The newsies watching Medda's show pick up the lights at the end of Don't Come A-Knocking and dance in a circle around them, mirroring their dance moves

Josh Denyer (Mush) has his moment to shine in the bit just after don't come a knocking and has a little solo which was heavily applauded, rightly so

When Race 'tells Wiesel (him)self' he literally goes up, closes the money box and just says 'no'

Katherine watches World Will Know from above the Bronx

When Jack writes on the chalk board he shoves Oscar out of the way very harshly several times and he ends up sprawled over some stairs unable to get up

There's a slide

Crutchie joins in with some of the dancing but his face screams 'help me idk how to do this' I love Matthew Duckett

Jack, Les, Davey and Crutchie confer before marching up through a corridor of newsies to the doors of the World. Crutchie stands facing away from the doors when they go in like he's standing guard, when they get thrown out, he falls to the side directly into the arms of another newsie trust fall style.

Despite already being given a borough to go to, Tommy Boy dives face-down under a table to avoid going to Brooklyn, Mush and another newsie (didn't see who 😅) put their bags on their heads

Bobbie!Katherine is a lot more sure of her self which makes it more meaningful when she shows the vulnerability of 'I'm just busting out of the social pages'

Les follows Crutchie at the end of the World Will Know mini-reprise and Crutchie looks sad when Davey calls him to go home, he then calls to Jack who is staying behind to talk to Katherine and says 'for fuck's sake' when he doesn't follow. This was confirmed by the girls in front row Brooklyn who he said it to because they couldn't stop giggling

Crutchie breaks the forth wall a lot

Katherine's hesitation on giving her last name is more played as she doesn't expect to have to provide one

Katherine physically puts distance between herself and Jack when he starts flirting

Watch What Happens is amazing!! Bobbie puts more frustration into it and speaks a lot of the lines, often punctuated by 'ugh'. Fun fact: Watch What Happens was Bobbie's drama school audition song and she has been working on it for actual years, it definitely shows, it was a brilliant delivery.

Davey really shows hesitation before Seize the Day and his voice goes wobbly in all the right places when he calls for Jack to help him out

'Maybe Pulitzer will see it out of his window and feel sorry for us' 'Heh?? *offended Crutchie noises*'

Crutchie is physically restrained from beating up on the scabbers

One of the scabbers is slipped extra money by Wiesel

Seize the Day was incredible as always, all other productions pale in comparison it is seriously next level, mid-song applause and a standing ovation afterwards (which really, really doesn't happen mid-show on the west end)

Splasher's box jumps!! I counted twelve last night. TWELVE.

Military snare in 'behold the brave battalion'

Crutchie stands offstage with Les to watch the Seize the Day dance break and whistles So Loud to cheer them on

And Mush's pirouettes!!!

Crutchie's agonised coughs when he's being arrested jfc Matt is good at that

The fight call for this show is insane, there is so much going on and its all so expertly done, something went a little wrong and Les' rope ascension didn't happen but so much goes on it wasn't missed

Crutchie whistles to signal the arrival of the police

Newspapers fall from the ceiling at the beginning of Santa Fe

Santa Fe was so good, Michael has such a pretty voice even while literally crying and he uses his little postcard a lot throughout, physically leaning over the railing of the tower like he's reaching for the idea of Santa Fe.

Aaaand end of act 1! This is so long so I'll do a part 2 🤣

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chilumi-shipper · 3 years

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Ready to Let Go

Xiao x Adeptus!Fem!Reader (x Zhongli)

Summary: Zhongli loves you, Xiao loves you, You love Xiao. Seems as though, in the eyes of everybody else, Zhongli was gonna be a problem within your relationship with your fellow adeptus. He would never do that though, not to you, not to Xiao. For the first time, the vigilant yaksha seems happy, and you seem more carefree the moment you two are starting to get close to one another. Zhongli would never trade your happiness for the sake of his own, and that's why, he's ready to let go.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

The God of War, flaunting over one of his very own dearest adeptus, if Guizhong saw him right now, she would've laughed at how much he jumped and flaunted over you whenever you were in his presence.

But love is complicated, he could say he loves you with a burning passion, yet it can never change the fact that you had fell for another, no matter how much Zhongli might push through, you will choose to be embraced within the arms of your true beloved, Xiao.

Neither you nor him ever said anything to confirm the nature of your relationship, but Zhongli felt it, the connection between you and the adeptus was so much more than just two people who used to work along side each other. You and Xiao, he's known both of you for millennias, you're not really the greatest with expressing emotions.

Zhongli was never one to fight reality, in fact he accepted it with open arms, having no care for the pain it might bring.

But just this once, he let's himself drift to a false hope, perhaps you only see Xiao as a friend, that in actuality you tell him the feelings that you're too scared to say to your Archon. But every time Zhongli dreamt like that, he can't help but see Xiao, sadness clouding over him, it slaps the brown-haired man in the face.

He can't do that to Xiao. The poor boy, tormented his entire life, but today, he may very well be bearing a smile on his face, with you around him, with you loving him.

He was sitting between you two, in a table in Wangshu Inn's restaurant area, the light atmosphere was calming.

It was supposed to be a nice get together, yet Zhongli felt irritated. The way your gaze lingers past him and onto the person of your interest as you spoke about how you tried cooking mortal food recently. How you seem to take into account every expression and response Xiao would give, but pay no mind to Zhongli at all.

You weren't being rude and ignoring him the whole time, in fact, you make eye contact with him from time to time, to see if he's understanding you. But Zhongli felt peeved, why couldn't you look at him the way you looked at Xiao?

"I really like cooking actually!" You exclaimed, the cat-eyed adeptus smiling softly while listening to your rambles, his elbow resting on the table, while his chin leans on his hand. That makes Zhongli feel even worse for having such feelings for you, just looking at the small but genuine smile on Xiao's face as he admires you.

"Xiao?" You softly called out to him, clasping your hands together. The adeptus gave a hum in response. "There's this recipe I found called "Tofu Cookies with Almonds", I was hoping you could help me taste test them when I try baking for the first time?" Your voice gets quieter the more you say. Zhongli found it adorable when you get shy, yet he can't help but feel a nauseous felling eating away at his skin, you didn't invite him.

The waitress puts the food you all ordered on your table before Xiao answers. Zhongli looked into your eyes, seeing the nervousness as you anxiously wait for an answer.

"Okay."

Golden orbs then looked at Xiao, seeing he's looking away from you, his ears red from embarrassment. Yet even when he tried to hide it, the Archon can feel his giddiness from miles away.

Zhongli can't help but look back and forth, seeing your eyes light up with happiness because of Xiao's answer. "Thank you so much!" You smiled brightly, proceeding to put some food onto your plate to start eating.

In all this, Zhongli felt as though he didn't have a place. Perhaps you were overjoyed that you didn't look at the fact that you completely discarded him, but someone else noticed.

"Mora- Zhongli can join us too, he's good at taste testing food." Xiao looks at you, before looking at the taller man. "I think." Zhongli then nodded, agreeing with Xiao's statement.

He knows he shouldn't, he knows that he just let the two of you resolve your feelings together, just the two of you. Yet he can't, for once in his life, he feels that it's too hard to let go.

The two looked at you expectantly, despite you making it obvious that you wanted to spend some time with Xiao alone, Zhongli hoped that maybe, just this one occasion, you'll let him intervene with your growing relationship. It's selfish, it's pointless, but just this once.

You smiled, "Okay."

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

"Mr. Zhongliiii!" You burst in the funeral parlor, calling out to him. "You have to help me." The man got up from his seat immediately, worried.

"What happened?!" He asked in a panic.

You looked down onto the book in your hands, the man did the same, looking at a book that has a very interesting title.

'The Art of Romance: For Newbies.'

What?

Usually, if you were to come to him with a book like that in hand, he would have laughed and teased you, eager to see your embarrassed state. Yet, Zhongli felt nothing but hopelessness, you putting in so much effort for someone else, meaning he really has no chance, does he?

"I need to you to help me look for a really nice dress. Like really, really nice! Oh but not too nice, since we're baking, if I get stains on a dress, he might think I'm sloppy. Oh, but if it's too simple, he'll probably think that I don't really care. Ohhh, but I don't want to seem like I care too much--" You looked up at him, rambling on and on about what you're supposed to wear for tomorrow. "It says here that if the person thinks you're too desperate, they might think it's weird." You pointed at the book that you're holding, bring it closer to his face.

Zhongli gently grabbed your hands that are clasped around the book. "If you're worried about Mora, I already have some on me." You peaked your head from behind the book, looking at the brown-haired man's serious face.

"Him?" Zhongli completely ignores your ramblings, only focused on one thing you said. You're worrying so much about what to wear, just to make a good impression to him.

You felt your cheeks heat up as he looks at you with a frown on his face. You laughed a bit to ease the tension, scraching the nape of your neck.

"Xiao..." He's mentally prepared himself for this moment, you would come to him, ask for advice since you knew him as a very cultured man, and you would confess your love, for someone else. And yet, hearing it come from your own lips seem to crack the barriers of his heart with just one word.

Despite the tears wanting to just slip out of his golden orbs, he smiled at you. "I've always sensed your feelings towards him." His words fluster you even more, you didn't realize it was so obvious, but Zhongli was a very observant person, maybe it was just that.

"Do you wish to impress him tomorrow? That's why you're so... jumpy today?" You nodded, feeling embarrassed that you are worried about this sort of thing. Usually, only mortals are prone to these types of worries.

"Y/N, Xiao doesn't care about those trivial things. You just have to be yourself." He told you as a matter of fact.

'Besides, the Yaksha already is making it obvious that he likes you back.' Zhongli kept this thought internally.

"But what if he doessss." You whine, gripping on the book tighter. "Xiao is just so.... Xiao! So unpredictable and complicated." Sighing, you looked up at the man again. "Can you help me, please?"

Zhongli sighed, although it hurts him to help dress you up so pretty, just to send you off to another man, but he'll bite. How could he ever say no to you.

After hours of rummaging through your closet, you finally, finally find something that's actually good in your eyes, even though Zhongli assured you that everything would be fine.

The dress of your choice has Xiao's colors, white, gold, mint green. You really are some piece of work, piece of work that doesn't belong to him.

Zhongli just kept sighing as he walked back to the funeral parlor, he's conflicted, which usually doesn't happen. Is he just gonna leave you two alone for tomorrow with some lousy excuse, or... get in the way.

As he got to the entrance of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, he saw Xiao, sitting on a bench just outside. The cat-eyed boy sensed Zhongli's presence, standing up and looking at his way immediately.

The brown-haired man walked up to him, silently asking why he's here all of a sudden, in the city, which also doesn't happen very often.

"Can you help me?"

Oh boy, here we go again.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

"You don't have to straight up lie if you don't like her treats, you can just give polite comments, like saying you're not really a big fan of them or something." Zhongli explained once again, it was the dead of night. Xiao had asked to help with how he should talk to you, he's not very talkative and expressive, but he doesn't want to make you feel like he doesn't like you.

"But that might also hurt her feelings." The Yaksha pointed out, listening intently to the older man.

"Yes, but she will appreciate the truth rather than a pointless lie."

He just needs help expressing his feelings right.

And Zhongli seeing how you two desperately try to be the best you can for one another, it makes him smile, despite the constant heart ache. And the realization that he has no chance for you, with the evidence right in front of him, Zhongli makes his decision...

He's ready to let go.

"I'm not gonna be joining you two tommorow."

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Alternative Ending: Ready to Hold On - Reader chooses not to choose and start a polyamory relationship.

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact angst #genshin impact imagines #xiao x reader #genshin impact xiao #genshin angst #genshin impact fluff #zhongli x reader #xiao #zhongli #genshin impact zhongli

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buckybarnesdiaries · 3 years

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i won't let you down

bucky barnes x reader. ⎢ masterlist.

Bucky helps you and gives you hope.

word count: 1.196 words.

warnings/tags: very brief mention of domestic violence, the winter soldier coming to help you.

author notes: none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.

Join the tag list here.

BUCKY POV

It was the fourth month he was living in the same building as you, concretely, in the apartment next to yours. Since the very first moment you met in the lift, you were extra kind with him and he couldn’t help but think that you were hiding some kind of intentions, until the days passed away and he discovered it was part of your naturality. He remembered, as if it happened yesterday, the first morning he knocked on your door asking for some coffee and you practically invited him to have breakfast together. You two talked about your part-time job in a cafeteria by morning, close to the neighborhood, and another one in a book shop by evenings. Bucky was fascinated by how much you used the hours of your days, letting you work out and have long walks in Central Park.

And he also remembered the night you knocked on his door for the first time, after hearing him having some nightmares and not being able to go back to sleep. The walls seemed like thin paper. He didn’t get it out of his head that time he heard you crying in your room, in the small hours, after a fight with your boyfriend. A punk who didn’t deserve an angel like you. On all the occasions you two argued, Bucky wanted to intervene, but he didn’t because what was his right.

Until a night where the heated talk escalated too quickly to swearings coming from him, and a painful scream coming from your lips after a loud hit. Bucky kicked the door down without doubting, panting furious and breaking into your apartment like a bat out of hell. As soon as he reached the living room and saw you crying and lying on the floor, all his rage contained during months got concentrated on the same point. Five cold fingers closing in a big and dangerous fist.

“Who the fuck are you?” Your boyfriend spat raving mad.

“A guy who’s gonna disappoint his therapist for breaking rule number two”. The soldier hissed, not giving time to the other to react.

With his left hand grabbing your boyfriend’s throat, Bucky pinned him to the nearest wall with so much uncontrollable strength that he almost opened a hold in it, straight to his own house.

“Listen to me now, you son of a bitch”. Their faces were separated barely for a couple of inches, drinking each other’s breathing. “If I see you coming again, laying a finger on her… I promise I’ll turn your life into a damn nightmare”.

Bucky could see the horror borning in his eyes when your boyfriend recognized him. That voice. Those blue orbs. The metallic fingers cutting off the air from his lungs. He was in the news for a long time. The Winter Soldier. One of those freaks with superpowers, with the difference that he was a trained assassin. Only a fool wouldn’t obey his threat. But for some reason, Bucky wasn’t able to loosen the hold around the other man, driven by the desire he had for killing him. After all the suffering he made you go through, after all the nights hearing you crying, after all the time waiting for your boyfriend to change. He wanted to end his life.

“Bu— Bucky”. Your weak sobs brought him back to reality. To New York. To the year twenty twenty-one. To the new century.

As if it was an automatic act, his fingers opened making your boyfriend fall to the floor. Coughing, choking with his own saliva and the lack of air. The poor coward ran away before Bucky could blink twice. Shaking his head to shut up the voices inside his head claiming him to chase the man, he turned around and squatted next to you. A thin thread of blood poured out from the upper right corner of your lip, as your cheek was burning in pain after the punch. The soldier held you onto his arms, listening to the sound of the police sirens coming. Probably some neighbor called them, fed up with the fights inside your house.

You were crying inconsolably and ashamed when he walked into his apartment, placing you with so much care on his sofa. Bucky didn’t utter a syllable, heading to his bathroom to take something to fix you up. He had a good medical kit since he didn’t want to visit any kind of hospital. Coming back to you, the soldier knelt next to you, feeling a knot inside his chest pressing out his skin. He wetted a cotton in hydrogen peroxide and placed his warm free hand on your untouched cheek to urge you to raise your head towards him. You couldn’t help but draw a grimace of pure soreness that broke his heart in one million pieces.

“Sorry…” Bucky murmured, earning your look filled up with sadness. “I, uh… I wanted to… So many times, I…”

“Thank you… for saving me”. You stuttered in low tears, while he continued healing your lip and cleaning the blood on it. “You’re a… good man, James”.

“I just did what I had to”.

“We’re… more than fifty persons living here… And you’ve been the one who has saved me”.

Knocks on his door interrupted your little chat, causing him to frown as the two of you heard it was the NYPD. Bucky left a delicate caress on your cheek before standing up and attending the call. The cops came into his house without asking if they could, knowing very well the man who was living there.

“Ma’am, you okay?” One of the officers inquired walking closer.

“Yeah, it was… I just… slip off to the fl—”. Tell them about your, now, ex-boyfriend wasn’t an option for you, feigning a soft chuckle as you cleaned the tears in your eyelids.

“His boyfriend hit her”. But Bucky interrupted you.

“And you helped her, mister Barnes?”

“Yeah, and she’s gonna make a complaint”.

That wasn’t an option for you either, but by the look coming from his eyes, you knew it was the only one for him. You couldn’t persuade him.

“Ma’am?”

Bucky licked his bottom lip, shortening the distance between both to grab his cozy and baggy black hoodie to offer it to you. He was determined to help you. He really wanted your welfare.

“C’mon”. He almost begged you in a whisper, shaking briefly his hand holding the piece of clothing to convince you of taking the good road. “I’ll be with you, I promise. I won’t let you down… Not again”.

It took you a couple of seconds to nod your head, getting up from his sofa being helped by the cold hand showing up. Bucky made you wear his hoodie, with so much careless to not touch your right cheek still burning because of the pain. Under the attentive look of the cops, he placed his flesh arm over your shoulders, not caring about the lack of distance when you clung yours around his waist and tried to hide your face on his chest. For the first time since you started that toxic relationship, you felt safe. You felt liberated.

feedback is appreciated, please, leave a comment to let me know if you liked it.

and REBLOG!!! support the writers 🤍

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#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes #sebastian stan x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #sebastian stan x you #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #the winter soldier x reader

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cozymoko · 3 years

Note

I loved the Yumeko Jabami ask for Sasuke! You think you could do the same thing for Shisui??

🗡 You've made the poor boy a nervous wreck! Of course, he knows you can take care of yourself but he simply can't help it. For the sake of his money as well as yours. If you're off being reckless without his supervision it'll scare the hell out of him. Or perhaps get yourself into a foolish bet that he's not there to get you out of.

"C'mon {Name}, can't you just pick something else? Something more...safe?"

"Hmm, why should I?"

🗡 If he wasn't madly in love with you this relationship wouldn't exist. He'd either die of a heart attack or...nothing else, he's committed, who am I kidding? Shisui will find a way to make it work, he'll make you reduce your gambling, somehow.

🗡 He finds your intelligence very attractive. Even if it's just in gambling or outside things, he admires it. There's a chance he's been gambling with you, due to your invitation or his own curiosity. But he was more than excited, though a little scared, to see you play. Scaring those who sat across from you. Perhaps a bit turned on.

"Isn't that hand bad? Are you going to lose this round? {Name}, I told you not to bet so much!"

"That's game, now what were you saying Shisui?" You smiled, tossing the rest of your hand onto the table. Internally laughing at the man's distraught expression.

🗡 He personally doesn't see the pleasure in such a life-changing hobby. It's just his luck that he loves someone obsessed with it. To risk all your income to a measly game, a brief one at that, ludicrous. To receive some type of rush from all of it at that. None of it makes sense to him.

🗡 Shisui is praying with every fiber of his being that you'll stop gambling. He'll even go out of his way to try to convince you, introduce you to new activities, just something to make you stop. Merely to put his heart at rest, that's all he asks for.

"Hey {Name}, come train with me today." Locking your hand in his he walks through the forest, gently rubbing your knuckles with his thumb.

"I, Uhm, but Shisui! I had something to do!"

🗡 Even if he could prohibit you from going, a little plea from you is sufficient enough to make him give in. He's such a hopeless romantic it's almost, sad. If you were to plunge into debt you won't linger there long, not with Shisui around.

🗡 In the end he's a bit iffy on it, worrying a lot for your well-being. Also feeling the need to watch over you whenever he can. But you can make it work, at least you can try. I hope you're ready for a lot of nagging!

"I told you not to stay out so late dummy. You know how much I worry about you."

#shisui x y/n #shisui headcanons #shisui x reader #naruto imagines #naruto headcanons #naruto shippuden headcanons #naruto shippuden imagines

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parrishh · 3 years

Text

about to write the world's longest post (a review? maybe?) because i don't know anyone else who has read mister impossible yet and if i do not write my thoughts down SOMEWHERE i will either combust or eat my own foot, probably (spoilers, obviously)

genuinely brokenhearted (and cried a lot) over ronan in this book. part of what i loved so much about cdth was the sense that ronan had at least made some progress in regards to his mental health, self-love, etc. and now we're seeing him in such a dark place again that it hurts to read. it was sad enough believing, for almost the entire book, that he was blindly idolizing bryde for this reason (declan's "ronan is a follower" speech in the cafe with carmen actually killed me), and i thought maggie was just going for the whole "unhappy people are more susceptible to cults" thing. but to find out that he MADE bryde? that he felt so alone and so hopeless that he dreamt THAT? this read like some sort of super-villain origin story. i know ronan believes he's doing the right thing, saving dreamers and dreams and all that, but at the core of it all he's really doing it because bryde told him to, and bryde only exists because ronan subconsciously hates his life so much he'll do whatever it takes to make himself a new one. that just makes me incredibly sad

uhhhhhhhh bad day for pynch stans. we didn't technically get the dreaded break up, but it feels like we did anyway. even the sweet moments (e.g. ronan's memory of adam's gloves) are immediately followed up by something sad (e.g. the memory not being enough to keep ronan from sticking with bryde) (also, fletcher tells the moderators that they're broken up, so does that mean adam told all his college friends he's single?) there are several moments in which ronan makes it very clear that he will (and does) prioritize what he's doing with bryde over his relationship with adam (hanging up on him at the end? what the fuck) and like, i'm definitely not saying his boyfriend should be the #1 most important thing in his life because that's not healthy, either, but the dude is clearly very unhappy & insecure in the relationship. i still think (hope?) that they'll get a happy ending because ronan definitely cares about adam deeply (not wanting bryde to say the word tamquam, keeping adam out of his dreamspace so he doesn't lose harvard, etc.) but things are looking pretty grim right now :/

adam loves ronan so much it makes me crazy. he could easily say "fuck this" after ronan doesn't speak to him for weeks, especially knowing that ronan's capable of reaching out because he still talks to declan and especially after being blocked from ronan's dreamspace, too. i would be pissed if i heard from my bf for the first time in weeks and found out he only called because he needed a place where he & the guy he ditched me for could crash. but adam still spends the free time i'm sure he doesn't actually have keeping tabs on ronan and reaching out to declan and pretty much doing everything in his power to help. and oh my god even after ronan hangs up on him we still see him scrying to try to get to him and i need to move on now before i scream (but first, declan lynch = #1 pynch stan??? the number of times he mentions adam when thinking about the things he wants ronan to keep safe, help me)

speaking of adam, i had to put the book down and take a lap after his first appearance. i cannot believe this boy is charging harvard kids for fake tarot readings and making hella cash off of it. KING. genuinely some fantastic adam content in this. i love that he talks to the gray man. i love that we are reminded that he's literally brilliant. but also, he makes me sad, too. when declan mentions how ronan is the ONE person who adam opens up to and how all of his harvard groupies are just "ducklings"........honey, i love you, please, please, please make some real friends

hennessy's pov also breaks my heart. it's maybe even worse to read than ronan's because she's fully aware of how unhappy she is and the bluntness of it slaps you across the face. the memory of her mom's painting was genuinely chilling (the lace pattern on the floor - was that how the Lace started? am i understanding that correctly?) and the fact that it was so dreadful she accidentally made a sweetmetal....poor hennessy :( also, the things she said to jordan, right after she made half a dozen real ass people crash their cars and didn't even bat an eye about it....yikes. i'm glad she teamed up with carmen and liliana, though. i love my team of wlw girlies (also really interesting that carmen/liliana believe the Lace is something out of hennessy's control while ronan/bryde believe it's something she can get rid of if she just tries hard enough. what the fuck is the Lace, it's driving me nuts)

CARLIANA KISS CARLIANA KISS CARLIANA KISS

jordan's pov!!!!!!! delicious, finally some good fucking food!!!!!!! i'm happy that she's starting to see herself as her own person, independent of hennessy, and the whole forgery/original work metaphor was really cool (her first original work being a portrait of declan 🥺🥺🥺) i loooooove her relationship with matthew and how she speaks to him and that they're able to connect with each other because they're both dreams. i love that she's able to make him feel more human

JORDECLAN KISS JORDECLAN KISS JORDECLAN KISS (but i'm even more hung up on declan just casually talking about MARRIAGE, oh my GOD)

declan my beloved....my sweet......absolutely obsessed with him saying "screw politics, i'm leaning into my crime side" and OBSESSED with him being happy for once. i know the other shoe did drop and now things are all messed up again but it was so nice to see him so content, at least for a little while. he needed a break (also was laughing my ass off at all of ronan's dream creatures just climbing onto his bed in the morning and his screaming and how matthew was so used to it he BRUSHED HIS TEETH before going to help. iconic)

matthew's pov was also really upsetting but 🥺him deciding he's tired of just being treated like a pet and that he deserves to have a future so he goes to sign himself up to finish high school 🥺

quick note but the whole sweetmetal thing is really interesting as a concept. loooooved the way maggie incorporated the gardner museum heist into the story

THE ENDING???? WHY THE FUCK IS JORDAN AWAKE. WHY THE FUCK IS RONAN STILL ASLEEP. WAS ADAM STILL IN THE MIDDLE OF SCRYING WHEN THE LEY LINE DISAPPEARED, AND, IF SO, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR HIM. WHY ARE LITERALLY ALL THE MODERATORS DREAMS. WHAT IS HAPPENING

#this is a literal essay god help me #actual word vomit #this book is going to haunt me for the next year and a half i don't know what to do #mister impossible #mi spoilers #mister impossible spoilers #wrambles #tdt

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imagines-r-s · 3 years

Text

sticking it - j. farabee

chapter 8

a/n: idk why this chapter took so long, but here it is. it’s very domestic and wholesome, so enjoy it. honestly i’m sad we’re so close to the series ending, but there will be more y/n and joel from the sticking it au i promise. and as always, lmk what you all think

taglist: @butgilinsky @barbienoturbby @sunsetholland @lovenhlboys @sortagaysortahigh @hockey-racing-fubol @oopsiedoopsie23 @iwantahockeyhimbo @dreamsndior @itsurgirlgracie @heartshapedkissxs @lwstuff

warnings: more high school musical references, a sprinkle of angst, friends fighting, idk if it counts as an innuendo or suggestive content, but some of that (not a warning, but Adrian content and ‘no thoughts, head empty’ Joel)

sticking it masterlist

wc: 6.1k

“All I’m saying is that it doesn’t make sense that she’s the only one standing, singing to Troy about scoring a basket. Like what if someone showed up to the game late and didn’t get the memo to twist the signs around and stay seated, you know? And it’s not just Gabriella standing up,” you said, grabbing multiple outfits to choose from for the movie night that you had been invited to.

“Well, I don’t think that it was really an ‘ok, everybody. One person is going to be staying up, but everybody else stay seated and lift your sign’ sorta thing. I feel like it was just a heat of the moment thing,” Joel replied as he walked out of the bathroom.

“Yeah, but it still doesn’t make sense. And I’m curious to know if that mid-game duet actually motivated Troy or if he was just annoyed or something.”

“If you sang to me mid-game, I would honestly probably throw a stick at you. Out of love, obviously.”

“That’s sweet of you, not really, but I’ll take it,” you said, turning towards Joel, “I don’t know what to wear to movie night.”

“It’s not really like you have to try to impress anyone, it’s just movie night,” Joel said, as he scrolled on his phone, “but you look hot in anything, so I’m chilling.”

“You’re definitely just saying that,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“Yeah, you’re right. You in the mornings is kinda concerning, not your best look,” he said, pointedly.

“That was not an opportunity for you to say something like that, I will throw a chair at you.”

“That’s concerning, but well deserved. I’m sure it would be out of the kindness of your heart, so I respect it.”

“You better respect it, Farabee.”

“Oooh, the last name. I’m shaking in my boots,” he said to which you immediately shot a glare his way, “actually, you’re very hot when you’re mad, not gonna lie.”

“Better watch yourself, Beezer, you’re on thin ice,” you said, jokingly.

“Good thing I know how to skate, babe,” he retorted, making his way towards you.

“You’re annoying,” you huffed as Joel wrapped his arms around you in a bear hug, “Bee, you better stop.” He lightly pecked the top of your head before stepping back, “wait, what was that?”

“What? The hug or me kissing the top of your head?”

“Both?”

“It’s called a display of affection. I know you aren’t familiar since you show your love by threatening to throw chairs at the people you care about, but that’s what that was.”

“Oh, it was nice,” you said, which caused Joel to chuckle.

“God, I love you,” he paused for a moment, clearly contemplating something, “this is kinda random, but have you ever thought about posting about our relationship? Or is that a no in the gymnastics world?”

“I mean, yeah, I have thought about it. I just haven’t because I didn’t know how you felt, but if you want to post it you can.”

“Why don’t you post it first?”

“Why don’t you? You brought it up?” you questioned.

“You confuse me so much sometimes and I’m usually confused, so it makes it kinda worse,” he said honestly.

“How about whenever we get back here tonight, we post at the same time?” you offered.

“Sounds okay with me. Come on, we have to go if we want to make it on time,” he said, softly.

…..

“Hey, it’s Short Stack and Beezer,” Travis said, as he opened his front door.

“I still don’t know why you of all people call me Short Stack, Tiki Bar,” you said to which he simply shrugged before opening the door more to let the two of you in.

“Ooh, Short Stack, Karly has something for you. I think she went upstairs,” you sent a confused look to Travis, “it’s nothing bad, just go.” You rolled your eyes as you made your way up the steps.

“Karly?” you called as you walked closer to her and Travis’ room.

“I’m in here,” she called. As you walked into her room, you quickly noticed her shuffling through the things in her closet, pulling out a box that had clearly been wrapped in a hurry.

“What’s that?”

“Just open it, I hope you like it,” she rushed.

“Um, alright,” you tore off the wrapping paper and opened the box to reveal what looked like a regular denim jacket, “a denim jacket?” you said, earning an eye roll from her.

“Take it out of the box, Sunshine.” You picked up the corners of the jacket to see that there were multiple patches with the flyers logo and bees on the sleeves, turning it around to see a number 86 and Farabee on the back.

“Karly, wha-”

“Look, I know you and him haven’t announced it officially yet or anything like that, but I figured that you would like it. I even got the bees on there for obvious reasons. I wouldn’t be upset if you didn’t wear it out, but you needed one,” she said, gently.

“I- Wow, I love it, Karly. Thank you,” you said, giving her a quick hug.

“You should wear it downstairs or at least show him at some point.”

“Oh no, I was just going to keep it in a bag in my closet for a while until he inevitably finds it,” you said, sarcastically.

“No need for the sass, Sunshine. You should try it on though, I want to see what it looks like,” she suggested, her smile only growing as she saw that it looked amazing on you, “oh yes, the bee patches really add to it. Definitely a great choice on my part.”

“Always the humble one. Come on, we have to start the movies eventually.”

“Wait, you’re wearing it downstairs?” she asked, to which you simply nodded as you walked ahead of her down the stairs.

Travis was the first to notice your arrival downstairs as he talked to Joel, smiling as he saw that you were wearing the jacket that his girlfriend had stressed over for days, “hey, y/n, I’m really liking this new look.”

“Hey man,” Joel started as he had his back turned towards you, quickly turning around after hearing that you arrived downstairs, “watch yours-” He immediately recognized that similar jacket that many of his teammates significant other wore to games, a perfect sign showing off their boyfriend or husband. “Wait, hold up.”

“Yes,” you answered, already knowing what he was going to ask.

“Swag,” he answered simply as he walked closer to you to examine the jacket. “Are those bees? Why are there bees?”

“Hmm, no idea. They’re just randomly there,” you retorted.

“Beezer, did you get knocked in the head at practice or something? I’m very concerned, dude,” Nicole asked from beside Nolan.

“Why are there bees? I don’t understand,” he asked, frantically.

“He’s hopeless,” Nolan whispered to Nicole.

“Bee, did you forget your own name?” you asked.

“Bee,” he paused, “ohhhh, that’s me. Those are for me, wait, turn around,” you rolled your eyes as you turned around to see the back of the jacket, “oh, that’s my name.”

“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock,” Kevin said, concerned from the whole exchange.

“He’s just having one of his moments. Be nice, Kev,” you said, holding back a laugh as you turned back towards your boyfriend who looked like there was something wrong, “Bee, you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I just- you got my name on a jacket. You usually aren’t this nice, but this is something nice, so I’m just worried something is wrong with you,” he said, genuinely.

You visibly gaped as the guys around you howled in laughter as Karly spoke up, “technically, I got her the jacket, she’s just wearing it.”

“Ohhh, okay, that makes more sense.”

“Damn, y/n/n, how badly do you treat the poor kid?” Scott asked from the couch.

“Better watch yourself, Scotty,” you said, shooting him a glare.

“Let’s just get the movie started before Short Stack attacks someone,” Travis added.

Drawing names to see who would pick the movie, Nicole picked out the movie, Stick It, which had always been one of her favorites. It was expected for people to be getting up during the movie, but when you noticed Nicole missing from seeing her favorite movie, you became worried that something had happened, “psst, did you see where Nicole went?” you whispered over to Joel.

“No, did you see where Nolan went?” he asked you, which caused you to grow suspicious as you noticed both of them were gone. “Maybe they’re just making out in the kitchen or something?”

“Why would they be making out? They’re just friends.”

“Dude, they’re still friends in the same way you and me are still friends.”

“No, because if something were going on she would tell me and I think it would be obvious.”

“Look, I know I’m oblivious, but you choose to ignore a lot of obvious details just because.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Fine, if we get up and find them together or doing something romantic? I don’t know, but either way, you have to post that we’re together first, but I choose the caption.”

“Is that a bet?”

“Yes,” to which the two of you shook on it.

“Hey guys, how many of you think there’s something going on with Nolan and Nicole?” Joel asked the group.

“Oh, yeah, I’ve noticed for months, they just haven’t done anything about it out of fear of what y/n will think,” Karly said like it was some simple statement.

“What do you mean that they fear what I would think?” you asked, causing everyone to look at you.

“Short Stack, you are literally this little spitfire that could attack at any moment, they just don’t want to upset you,” Travis added just as the pair walked back into the living room, “ah, here’s the two lovebirds now.”

A flash of panic crossed Nicole’s face as Nolan blushed, “no, I just needed help getting drinks and Nolan was right there.”

“Okay, then where are the drinks and why does Nolan have a hickey?” Scott pointed out.

“I forget them in the kitchen and Nolan burnt himself with a curling iron,” she offered.

“Karly, did you leave your curling iron in the kitchen again? Silly goose,” Travis said.

Joel quickly noticed how quiet you were from beside him, “hey, babe. What’s wrong?”

“I’m okay, I’m going to go and get a drink really quick,” you said, softly smiling before heading into the kitchen. Everyone’s eyes followed you as you retreated back to the kitchen, Nicole sighed, the guilt of not telling you finally hitting her.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Nolan offered.

“No, this is definitely between the two of us,” she answered before following you, “y/n/n, look-”

“Nicole, it’s fine,” you said, filling a cup with ice.

“It’s obviously not, I know you better than that,” she said, gently, waiting for a response from you, “look, this honestly hasn’t gone to anything serious yet because I knew I needed to tell you. I know I shouldn’t have kept it from you and that you would have been fine with it, we just didn’t want anyone to know. No one really knew, Karly just picked up on it because she’s Karly and everyone else figured it out. And I know you knew something was going on, you just didn’t want to accept it.”

“I don’t have an issue with it, I would have rather you just tell me straight up what’s happening, but I had to find out because Joel made a joke and you couldn’t give Nolan a hickey where it wasn’t visible,” you said honestly, filling your cup with water.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to offer, there wasn’t really another reason other than we didn’t know how you would react,” she said, leaning back on the kitchen counter as you stared at the cup in your hand, “y/n/n, please say something. I’ll break it off if-”

“I would never make you break things off with him and you know that. How long has this been going on?”

“Uh, we’ve liked each other for a while, but didn’t do anything about it until you had to go back on crutches, so maybe a few weeks.”

“Gotcha, gotcha.”

“Are you mad at us? It was my idea, Nolan said we should just tell you, but-”

“Nic, please. I’m not mad, I knew something was up, I was just more focused on other things. Does he make you happy?” you asked, looking back up at her, smiling at the small blush that had rushed up to her face.

“Yeah, he really does.”

“Then, I’m chilling. Come on, you already missed half of your favorite movie making out with Nols,” she laughed as the two of you made your way back.

“You good, y/n/n?” Kevin asked as you sat by Joel again, who wrapped his arms around your shoulder.

“Maybe you should ask Nicole, just to make sure y/n/n didn’t attack her,” Scott added.

“Eh, I’ve known her for years, I have a few strategies,” Nicole said, simply.

“Oh, shut up, Nicky,” you said, jokingly rolling your eyes.

“I know damn well that you did not just say Nicky,” she said, shocked.

“Oh, did I?”

“You want to take this outside, babe.”

“Hmm, maybe tomorrow.”

“I’m concerned, but this is entertaining,” Travis said, to which everyone else agreed.

“I’ll record it and post it on world-star,” Joel added.

“Thanks, babe. Oh and Patty Lapone, if you hurt her, I will bust your kneecaps,” you said, faking sweetness.

“Understandably, so,” Nolan said, honestly.

“Glad we’re on the same page. And Nicky, don’t hurt him either.”

“Noted,” Nicole said.

“Hey babe, you know you have to post us first now, right?” Joel said, smirk growing on his face, “and I get to choose the caption.”

“You’re letting him choose the caption?” Karly asked, “good luck, Sunshine.”

…..

“So, do you know what picture you’re going to post? I have mine picked out,” Joel asked you as you finished your night routine.

“I’m still upset that you won that bet, but probably the picture of us that’s my wallpaper,” you said, patting your face dry.

“What picture?” Joel asked, confused as to what you meant.

“Oh, Karly took a bunch of pictures the day we were at the lake and the one that’s my wallpaper is the one where you’re about to throw me in the water and I’m laughing at you. Or I might post one of the pictures Nicole took of us where I’m wearing your jersey,” you explained.

“Ok, one, why haven’t I seen these and two, why didn’t you send me them?”

“Oh, I don’t know, you never asked.”

“I never knew.”

“Same thing?” you offered before walking out of the bathroom to sit on your bed as Joel grabbed his bag to start packing for the next day.

“Ok, well get the post ready and I’ll caption it,” Joel said, holding his hand out.

“Please keep it reasonable, I am an example to tiny humans.”

“Kids?”

“Same thing,” you said, handing your phone over to him, already open to instagram.

Joel had been thinking about what he would caption this post for the rest of the day after you had talked about going public. Quickly typing up the caption and tagging himself, he posted it, “okay, all done.”

“It didn’t take you that long?”

“Yeah, I know. I kinda figured it out earlier,” he said, shrugging and handing you back your phone. As you saw the notifications for the post, you opened it to see the picture of you two captioned ‘the bee to my honey’.

“That is so incredibly cheesy and adorable,” you said, smiling at your phone, “Karly already commented upset that you didn’t give her photo credit though, but she said the caption wasn’t terrible.”

“Yeah, I’m so good with words, babe. We’ve established this.”

“You’re truly something. Wait, are you captioning yours ‘the honey to my bee’ because that way it’s just in reverse?”

“Yeah, we’re just that cool,” Joel said, handing you his packing list, “will you go over this with me to make sure I have everything?”

“Superstitious King, ok, um, your garment bag with your suit?” you continued down the list as you heard him respond to everything you said, “Glasses? Glasses? Why do you have glasses on this list?”

“Because I need them to see?” he said, confused by your question.

“Since when have you worn glasses?”

“A while actually, I just don’t wear them all that often,” he shrugged.

“Wait, what do they look like on you?” you asked, watching as he contemplated showing you before reaching in his bag and grabbing his glasses case.

“If you make any jokes, I will never wear them around you again,” he said before putting them on. “Ok, one joke, and that’s all.” He was shocked by how quiet you were, “y/n/n, please just make the joke already while I’m prepared for it.”

“Oh no, I actually don’t have a joke this time. You look really good in glasses.”

“Oh, a compliment?”

“Ha ha, yeah, I can be nice sometimes. But no, you genuinely look hot in those, you look hot in general, but like, now especially,” you continued rambling.

“Awe, you’re being nice and I made you nervous,” he cooed.

“You don’t make me nervous, Farabee,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“Oh, I don’t? Okay,” he took steps closer to you standing in front of you and placing his arms on either side of you, smirking as he heard your breath hitch, “you sure I don’t make you nervous?”

“Y-you don’t,” you replied, watching his actions closely as he leaned his face closer to yours, placing his hand on your thigh before leaning beside your ear.

“Okay, then,” he whispered before standing back up to finish packing, a smirk lacing his features.

“That was rude,” you pouted, to which he simply shrugged. “Yeah, that’s not going to work, babe. Karma is a real thing,” you said, watching as he furrowed his brows.

“What do you mean?”

“Karma,” you said, before just grabbing a longer shirt of his for pajamas and heading to the bathroom to change. Coming back minutes later to see Joel in bed, leaning against the headboard, already looking your way.

“y/n,” he said, cautiously, “please say there’s something underneath my shirt.”

“I don’t know, Bee, is there?” you asked, pulling the comforter back on your bed as you laid down for bed.

“I don’t like this game, it’s not that fun,” he said, moving down to lay his head on your chest, your hand instinctively going to his hair.

“Karma is karma, pretty boy,” you said, chuckling when you felt him start to trace patterns on your thigh, obviously looking for a way to tell if you had shorts on. “You have to be up in a few hours and Kevin and Nol will barge in here tomorrow morning if you aren’t on time.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you going to answer my question?”

“You didn’t ask a question.”

“You’re really annoying sometimes. Are you going to answer my statement?”

“You still love me though and I won’t answer your statement,” you said, softly, knowing that he was ready to fall asleep. “Goodnight, Bee.”

“Goodnight, babe.”

The alarm for the start of Joel’s day went off way too soon, but he knew he needed to get up. Quickly turning off his alarm to avoid waking you up, he got up to get his shower and get dressed for his day.

After getting a text from Nolan that they would be at your door in about 5 minutes, he decided to tell you goodbye, “y/n/n, baby, it’s time for me to go.”

“You don’t have to go, tell them you can’t go,” you said, half asleep, barely even realizing what you were saying.

“As much as I wish I could, it doesn’t work like that, babe.”

“Well have you tried to see if it would work?” he chuckled at your question.

“I love you and I’ll see you in a few days, alright,” he kissed the top of your head before grabbing his bags and heading out to the living room to wait on Kevin and Nolan. Taking a seat on the couch as he waited, he heard the bedroom door open with footsteps following, “you should go back to sleep.”

“I have to go to PT in a few hours, so might as well be up,” you said, “plus, I kinda want to say bye to Kev and Nols.”

“You have PT at noon, it’s almost 5am. Once we leave, please try to get some sleep.”

“Awe, Bee, you worried about me?”

“Unfortunately I’m always worried about you and you’re such a chaotic person that it’s reasonable and the concern only ever grows.”

“That’s true, I am kinda chaotic,” you said, causing him to chuckle.

“Just a tad.”

The sound of the key turning and door opening drew yours and Joel’s attention away from each other for a moment, “sup, bitches,” Kevin’s voice rang out.

“What the fuck, Kev?” you asked, grabbing a blanket from your couch, wrapping it around you.

“Rise and shine, y/n/n. Hope you slept well, now we have to leave, so say bye to your boy,” Kevin added, turning back to leave again.

“Ok, I have to get going, shawty bae. Go get some sleep, text me how PT goes, and tell Adrian I said hi. Bye, babe,” he kissed the top of your head once more before grabbing his bag and heading on his way.

…..

“So, no lover boy today?” Adrian asked as you stepped into his office.

“No, not today,” you said, sitting down on the bench, “him and the boys have an away game tonight, so they left this morning and will be back in a few days.”

“So, I assume things are going well?” he asked, rolling his chair over to you.

“Yeah, things are going very well. We posted about us being together officially on instagram last night.”

“Oh, wow. Instagram, that’s crazy,” he said, sarcastically.

“Hey, shush. It’s a bigger step than you think.”

“Oh, yes. The power couple that you two athletes are, hmm. Forgot about that.”

“Stop, it’s not that crazy. It just kinda is a big step in my opinion.”

“Well, I am happy for you and I’m also proud of you for actually listening to me and staying off your knee.”

“Hey, that rhymed,” you softly interrupted.

“Ha ha, so funny. Anyways, with how it looks now, I say you’re good to start training again,” he said, taking the time to examine your knee. He could tell that you had actually listened to what he had told you, just like he hoped you had. He was excited to see you back to where you needed to be.

“Like training training? Or just training?”

“Training training. Just be careful and don’t overwork yourself. I am aware that there isn’t much time before you have the U.S Championships, but don’t rush it. Take your time. Quality over quantity. Okay, Superstar?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” you said, excitedly, jumping off the bench to hug Adrian, “thank you.”

“Hey, I didn’t do anything, this is all you. But if anyone can do this, you can. Just take care of yourself, alright? I don’t want all my work to go to waste,” he said, jokingly.

“Wow, I see how it is. I see how it is.”

“You know I’m joking, Superstar. Don’t even.”

“Do I, Adrian? Do I know that?”

“Just leave already,” he joked, “you have a lot of work to catch up on. Good luck, y/n/n.”

Knowing that the boys were either at lunch, wrapping up morning skate, or getting settled, you shot Kevin a quick text to call you whenever he had the chance; your phone rang only a few minutes later. “Hey, is everything okay?” Kevin’s concerned voice rang through.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Adrian cleared me to train again.”

“Aye, let’s go. Alright, so you have like, what? Two weeks before you leave for the U.S. Championships?”

“Yeah, Marcus and Michelle already figured out all my travel arrangements months ago, so no worries there. I’m just worried about the fact that I have about 12 practices, but Marcus will probably worry and have me practice less, so about 10 practices? And what if-” you rambled.

“No, we’re not doing the ‘what if’ conversations right now. Or anytime soon for that matter. You’ll get it. And if you have to simplify it for now, then that’s how it’ll be, but you stressing out right now is not going to change the number of practices you have or how they go. Only you can be the one to determine how practices go.”

“Since when did you get all wise, Kev?”

“I read this really inspirational fortune cookie earlier, it caused me to have a whole epiphany on life. Same old, same old.”

“Alright, wasn’t expecting that one, but I’m here for it. What are you guys up to?”

“What are we up to? Or what is Beezer up to?” Kevin asked, knowingly.

“I was honestly just asking in general, but since you brought him up-” the two of you took a little bit of time to catch up. Him filling you in on how morning skate went and how the lineups for the game were looking. He also told you how the team was looking good this morning and that if they played how they needed to, they could easily win.

You were still on the phone with Kevin by the time you pulled into the gym parking lot, “hey, I have to talk to Marcus about training, but I’ll probably talk to you after the game. Tell Bee I’ll talk to him later too. Bye, Kev.”

“Stay safe, be careful, make wise choices. I’ll talk to you later, y/n/n.”

Walking into the gym this time was different, almost similar to your first time back after everything, but right now you had the ability to train and to work how you needed to. You just needed to get back into your element.

Knowing that the only practice going on was for the younger kids, you made your way up to Marcus’ office. Knocking gently on the door, you opened it to see him and Michelle sitting near his desk. “So, what’s the verdict?” Marcus asked, expectantly.

“Well, there’s two weeks until Championships and I need to get this dismount,” you said, watching as the two of their smiles only grew. As the three of you went over everything that Adrian said, the three of you planned out the next two weeks.

“Alright, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning practices, you can spend the whole practice on beam, drills, and conditioning, but afternoon practices you need to do other events. Then, Tuesday and Thursdays will be working on other events, and Saturdays is just a markthrough day for routines,” Michelle explained easily, which showed that they had already thought of this beforehand.

“And we’re going to ease into it again, but this time from doubles. We both know you can easily get back to where you need to and we also believe that with how determined you seem right now, you’ll be fine. If you do okay with doubles, we’ll move onto triples as soon as we can. If anyone can do it, you can,” Marcus said, honestly.

…..

Checking his phone after the game was over, the smile on Joel’s face quickly grew at all the encouraging texts he had gotten from you. Quickly replying, he looked up to see most of the guys sharing knowing looks, “what?”

“Nothing, we can just easily tell who texted you from the way you looked at your phone,” Nolan pointed out.

“You don’t really hide it, so it’s kinda obvious,” Carter added.

“Well yeah, I don’t have a reason to hide it. My girl makes me happy,” Joel said, turning to see Kevin giving him a pointed look, “okay, maybe one reason to hide it.”

“Didn’t she have a PT appointment today? Any updates?” Scott asked, walking towards the younger guys.

“Oh, yeah. She got cleared and starts training again tomorrow,” Joel answered, causing all the team to smile.

Rushing to finish getting ready, so that he could FaceTime you, he grabbed his bag and made his way to an empty hallway to talk to you. The phone rang only a few times before you picked up, “hey, baby. You did really good at your game.”

“Thank you, thank you. I was thinking of you when I scored,” he said, watching behind you to see you walking around the apartment.

“That was really cheesy.”

“Yeah, I realized that after I said it, but it’s the thought that counts,” he retaliated, causing you to chuckle, “did you get everything figured out with your coaches to start practicing again?”

“Babe, you just won a game and you’re worried about my PT and training schedule?”

“Well, I don’t have an explanation, but I get hockey 24/7 for the next few days, so I kinda want to hear about your life and gymnastics,” he said, honestly, which only made you smile.

“Yeah, we got my training schedule figured out. I start practice again in the morning, but luckily I was able to work it out to where I have a day of just beam work to mostly do the dismount and drills and then the rest of the week is for other events. But I will have to travel for this meet, which I haven’t had to do in a while.”

“Oh, it’s in Texas? Right?” he asked, causing you to hum in agreement, “and how long before you leave?”

“Well, I leave the Wednesday night before, podium training on Thursday, and then, competition Friday and Sunday. And then I’ll be back Monday.”

“Ah, so I get to know how you feel when I’m on the road.”

“Yep, and you’ll know much it sucks,” you said, rolling your eyes.

You were happy that Joel was happy and playing the sport that he loved, but him being on the road often threw off the routine that the two of you had with each other. Waking up next to each other; either making or getting breakfast; him driving you to practice before going to his; jamming out to music as the two of you prepared for your day; the list goes on.

“Awe, you just miss me so much. It’s understandable really.”

“Don’t get cocky, Farabee,” you said.

“It’s okay to admit that you-”

“Bee, I will hang up on you,” you threatened.

“Babe, you would miss me too much,” he said, making you roll your eyes once again.

“Bye, Beezer,” you said, hitting the end call button.

He simply smiled at the action, knowing well enough that if he called back you would decline and that you were too stubborn to call him back. Quickly sending you a goodnight text, he made his way back to the locker room, not missing all the chirps the boys had to say in response.

…..

You spent the Monday and Wednesday of that week working on drills to be able to do the dismount. With the boys still gone until Friday, you spent your practices wisely and used any extra time that you could at the gym. Your routines were getting back to where they needed to be and you couldn’t have been happier. The drills that you were doing to work your dismount were also working out very well.

“I want you to try a few triple dismounts. Just a triple and by tomorrow I want you to go for the 3.5 twist. The drills you’re doing aren’t really doing anything at this point, you’ve basically mastered them. So, I do believe if you really work towards it, you could get the quad twist by Olympic Trials, you will compete a 3.5 for U.S. Championships, but with the way practices are going I firmly believe the quad is only a few tries away from you,” Marcus told you as you did your beam warm up.

“Marcus, I-”

“You’re doing the dismount,” Michelle added as she passed by.

“Just go for a triple, that’s all I want to see today. Once you do one, you’ll get back in the groove of things and you’ll be able to do more than one today. You got this, y/n/n, I know you can, you just have to get past the mental block.”

You knew he was right. As you thought about the skill, you knew it was basically a step away from you. If you went for it, with the way the drills are looking, you would have it. And from there, it’s just the 3.5 and then more work towards the quad. You knew you had the skills, you just had to remind your body of that fact.

Taking a deep breath, you started your beam routine. Hitting all the skills that you had, you made your way back and forth on the beam until you got the the start of your dismount. “C’mon, y/n, you got it. Just breathe,” you heard Marcus as you took another breath before starting the dismount. Going for the roundoff, you started for the twisting part of the dismount, watching and twisting three times, you opened up, shocked when you landed the dismount.

“Twinkle Toes,” Marcus beamed, “you did it.”

“Huh?” you said, realizing what you did, “wait. I did it.”

“You did the triple. I knew you could. I need you to do a few more, just to create the habit. Land at least five and then switch to bars.”

“Alright, yeah,” you answered, quickly realizing that you were one step closer to your goal. Doing the next five took a little bit of time, but you were getting used to the landing and the skill itself. After finishing, you moved onto bars.

“Did I see a triple dismount?” Nicole asked as you walked over to the chalk box.

“Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t,” you said, shrugging.

“Does that mean you’re trying the 3.5 again soon?”

“Most likely tomorrow. You will be seeing it soon, I promise.”

…..

When Joel noticed that he got home early enough to come surprise you at practice, he jumped at the chance. Quickly dragging Nolan and Kevin with him - considering they were his ride - he asked them to head to the gym. Once they entered, they got settled in the overhead seating area, he quickly found you standing with Marcus near the beam.

“C’mon, Twinkle Toes, in order to get the dismount back, you have to get on the beam,” he heard Marcus say.

“Look, trust the process. I’m mentally preparing for it before I go for it.”

“Are you actually going to get on the beam at some point today? Or will you still be mentally preparing by the end of practice?”

“Shush, it won’t take me that long, I promise,” Marcus sighed.

“Just get on the beam, that’s all I need.”

“Alright,” you got onto the beam, walking towards the end as you prepared for the dismount.

“Ok, just keep the same habits, just twist faster and open up a little bit later, you got it,” Marcus reassured you. Taking a deep breath, you prepped for the dismount. “C’mon, Twinkle Toes.”

Joel and the boys watched closely as you went through your habit of mentally visualizing first, watching you go for the round off and start twisting. “Wait, she’s going for the 3.5,” Kevin said. The three of them all held a breath as they watched you go for the dismount, letting out the breath when you landed it.

You landed it. “Wait, I did it. Marcus, I did it.”

“I told you so, your boys are watching by the way,” Marcus said, causing you to look up to see the boys smiling to which you simply waved, “I need you to do some more of those either today or tomorrow, but you can go see your boy.”

Rushing over to the stairs to go see Joel, he met you at the bottom of the staircase, “hey, honey.”

“Hey, Bee.”

“You did the dismount,” he said, smiling.

“I did the dismount,” you reiterated, matching his smile as he picked you up and spun you around.

“I’m so proud of you, you have no idea,” he said as his lips met yours.

#joel farabee #joel farabee x reader #joel farabee imagines #joel farabee x gymnast!reader #joel fatabee imagines #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #beezer #hockey imagine

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sprawa-przybyszewskiej · 3 years

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Gnostic inspirations in Przybyszewska’s works

At the highest point of her intellectual life, Stanisława Przybyszewska spent over 12 hours each day simply on writing her own works, continously, and with maniacal care, educating herself on absolutely everything (she was constantly looking for fields in which she might be a natural genius) and she rarely did anything else at all, which included things like earning a wage or sweeping her own floors. The effect of such existence was of course that she was severely depressed, but also thoroughly educated. It means that traces of whatever matter from history or philosophy can be spotted in her works, are most likely intentional and put there exactly with the hopes of showing her erudice.

One of such matters was gnosticism. Gnosticism is a set of beliefs which put emphasis on obtaining liberation from this life through gnosis (knowledge) and cast aside all that is not of the mind – so not only the flesh, but also the spirit. Without going into details of some specific gnostic rite it is simpler to say that gnostics value gnosis higher than any of their base beliefs and teachings (in Europe gnostics are mostly mentioned in relation to early christianity, Cathars are an example of this). Then the contrast one can find within religion (for example sin and liberation from it) is replaced with earthly illusion and gnosis, which frees one from the illusion and guarantees a higher level of life, of sorts (in gnostic beliefs, our presence on Earth is not linear, leading from birth, through life and death to afterlife, but resembles more of a ladder, with each rung leading closer to obtaining total knowledge, and simultenously losing all that tethers one to earthly illusions.

In literature, strong contrasts are a good indication we can look into it to spot gnostic inspirations or at the very least make a strong case they could be there, even if unintentional. In Przybyszewska's case, however, they are all the more probable, for I vaguely recall she was well aware of the presence of these beliefs and everything she wrote on the nature of genius points in the same direction, too. She held these beliefs in her own, private set of core values, and there isn't any better place for her to show them to us but through her works. She presented us with an utopian vision of mental progress in her plays, while in her prose works, she focused on the darker side of the same things.

The axis of conflict in gnosticism is between the mind and the spirit. Robespierre is without a doubt a man of the mind much more so than of the spirit, and all the important figures surrouding him are more on the spiritual side of things (with Camille being the most prominent in this regard). Maxime has achieved the gnosis, the crown that will burn [his] brains right through.Before it happens, though, he is elevated onto another plane of understanding, a place where no other person can reach him, or even understand him:

Danton, of course, is lying.

(There is, sadly, no French translation of Thermidor; on another note, it took me this long to realize the French decided to change the person's tag from Camille to Desmoulines, which is suprising in the best sense of the word).

Robspierre is clearly constructed to be a genius, standing above everybody else and thus bearing greater responsibility, something which demands of him more than it does of others. Madness which he suspects within himself at the end is only a threat because it potentially leads to commiting mistakes, and a mistake is an unforgivable offence when it is committed by the one who ought to know better. Mistakes by a hand of another – for example Camille – are a different story altogether, for the majority of people not only don't achieve gnosis, but even cannot achieve it, their mental state isn't developed enough for them to grasp at the higher concepts. I think this is one of the reasons why Saint-Just's words: It is not madness, it's despair, are actually calming Robespierre down. Despair is simply a sign of being weary, something to be expected.

Maxime's knowledge and better judgement of everything is of course still a curse, leading to his death. In gnosticism, death isn't meant in a macabre sense, since it leads to yet another, higher rung of the metaphorical ladder we're standing on, but the gnosis obtained beforehand makes a death a good one instead of a waste. When Robespierre is going through his moment of despair at the end of The Danton Case, he betrays the gnosis he has in favour of admiting that the future will turn out differently than what could be expected: his death won't be a natural progression, but a failure, his depaire sets him back into the crowd of the sad, grey mass of the people who are not – like him – predestined to understand more.

From the linguistic point of view, I find it interesting that in the original and in the French version, he is using somewhat esoteric language (the future is under the sign of Danton – to my eyes, it is a clear refereance to the Zodiac signs, something which is supposed to predestine our futures, and which is also esoteric and ritualistic; given all the hints that she was abused by her satanist father, it makes a really sad, hopeless final note on the grand scheme of things for the humanity, that we, as humans, are incapable of running away from the brute forces which will continue to rule us simply because the world is built like this – not to mention the inability to change the future or even just the fate of one's life is a staple of gnostic beliefs).

No matter what he says about it, the inability to escape from one's fate is something which we rarely associate with Robespierre, because – as much as Przybyszewska makes it clear, thet he is a genius and thus everything he does he is not only allowed to do, but must do it for the greater good – he seems a bit like a self-made man, perhaps because we see him all the time in situations which are hard and difficult, but not impossible. A much more tragic situtation of the lack of escape from his own poor choices is being presented to us through Camille.

Camille has had a chance to be continously tethered to Maxime, securing for himself relevant safety in the public life, and calmess or even happiness in his private one. Yet he breaks with Robespierre over and over again, starting even before the plot of the play. Maxime reaches out to him against his better judgement, and Camille – also against his better judgement – decides to stay loyal to Danton. He is as if glued to his leader, even though he sees him clearly for what he is. Camille is an apotheosis of a spiritual being, someone ruled by impulses, perhaps even with the best of intentions, but whose mind will never achieve gnosis, the clear vision of what is right and true. When Robespierre argues with the Committee by demanding they leave Danton (and Camille by proxy) alone, he plots against Maxime in his newspaper; when Robespierre goes to him under the cover of night, he doesn't want to see him and then throws him out; when Robespierre tries to either break him free from the prison or at the very least console him by admitting his love (I never actually knew what was his plan here), he follows the advice of his bad influences and doesn't admit him. It's as if a strange force kept him by Danton's side, and I don't think it was any normal feeling (of shame or guilt) keeping him away from Maxime. In The Last Nights of Ventose he makes it quite clear being a stronger person's lap dog would never bring him shame, but honour, thus I don't think he'd have any problem with returning to Robespierre after a long while of abuse and slander.

The relationship Camille has with Danton is another aspect of gnosticism, namely its duality. Danton is a stand-in for Maxime, which doesn't work because Danton is anti-Robespierre, his negative double (much like in some gnostic beliefs world was created and being conducted by two gods, one good and one evil). It is unclear whether Camille had any real, true potential to serve "good" Robespierre, but even if he didn't, if his friableness kept him from serving a greater purpose (which I don't know if I believe, in The Last Nights of Ventose we are presented with a very different portrayal of Camille, one who could achieve something much greater than he did if only he was by Robespierre's side at all times), serving the "evil" Danton couldn't possibly have a good outcome.

He even does return to Robespierre, for a short while, steered by emotions rather than anything else. But in this dualistic, gnostic reality, emotions have little to do, they aren't worth very much. What's more, if we focus solely on Camille, we have to admit that – as in every story, revolving around a single character – a person is in a way stuck in time. He can go about in the space his life takes, but time is more like a deity, untouchable and something you cannot pact with. For Camille, it doesn't matter how many times and at what point in time (before their fallout, during the crisis or at the last hour) Maxime asks him to break with Danton and go back to him, because time and predestined fate hold all the power of what is happening, while individuals hold none (and the aforementioned last statement of Robespierre explains right away that it is so even for the "great" individuals, who in other aspects are being held to different standards, but against time and fate they are just as powerless).

I like to think, though, that Przybyszewska has left a small postern for Camille to achieve gnosis or its more humane equivalent by drawing a symbolic parallel between two scenes, which are only made significat by their possible relating to each other, but mean next to nothing on heir own:

In the first scene, the key could have been a completely incidental choice of words/tools, after all it's a logical conclusion of the scene. There is, however, a more symbolic reading of it, as a key is of course a symbol, and a pretty easy one at that. If Camille gave Robespierre the key himself, this could be read as an end to their relationship, Camille returning the power that Maxime holds over him to Maxime's own hands. But since we only see Lucille relay the key, and we know that Lucille is also capable of influencing her husband and directing his steps (even if she says she can't; Robespierre's words, seeing as he's the genius here, are the final judgement of this), this could mean she is giving her portion of power to Maxime, whom she trusts to save her husband. And Maxime uses this one more time, when he tries to visit Camille in prison. That he fails miserably is against Camille's wishes, because Camille even in his demise only succumbs to wishes of others.

But we know he regrets this step mightily and we know it precisely because he dreams (or rather has a nightmare) about the very key he was supposed to convey to Robespierre earlier. He regrets the desire to give Maxime his power back, he regrets that by doing so in any way, shape or form he has finally given up his life. Choosing a beautiful death over an ugly, humiliating life only sounded good in his head, but in truth, he is beyond terrified and would love nothing more but to Maxime to come in again and if not save him, then at the very least – forgive him. But for that, they'd have to meet again, and he couldn't throw Maxime out. I also don't understand why both the English and French translation added the word "effortlessly" when describing his last moment with Robespierre, because make no mistake, it is very much an unnecessary addition, going against everything that he has been portrayed like so far. Their last conversation is just as much a tragic one for Camille as it is for Maxime.

Przybyszewska took great pains to paint Camille in front of our eyes as someone so weak that we find him as more of a comic relief than anything else, but in reality he is just a differing portrayal of powerlessness when faced with fate. Camille is not a comical character, but a tragic one, he is just the same as Robespierre, his other half: they both believe in their own agency, they both believe they are the ones making choices and pushing their lives forward, but it is not a coincidence that they both end up in he very same place, in a span of mere weeks.

This post would not have been born if it weren't for @patricidefan.

#@patricidefan thank you so much for talking with me about it #as i said you opened my third eye #patricidefan #Stanisława Przybyszewska #stanislawa przybyszewska #the danton case #sprawa dantona #thermidor #Maximilien Robespierre #maksymilian robespierre #Camille Desmoulins #Kamil desmoulins #gnosis #literary analysis #philosophy

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hqhunybuns · 4 years

Note

hiiii can u plz do a kuroo first time blowjob?? thanks i love your blog!!!!!

hi sorry i was too busy playing animal crossing but im back

First Time Head with Kuroo

It was a bad idea that popped into your head, a terribly devilish thought that you were sure would get you in trouble-- but it was worth a shot, wasn't it?

You were the Nekoma volleyball team manager, and also the captain's girlfriend. What a wonderful world you live in; the team adored you, your boyfriend thought you were as sweet as sugar. The truth be told, you and Tetsurou had only gotten to first base the entirety of your eight month relationship. You were shy when it came to physical affection, and you had a bad habit of getting too nervous when your boyfriend's hands started wandering further than your shoulders. He was always the perfect gentleman when you had to stop due to your erratic heartbeat, and while you profusely apologized every time, he took it in stride and never pressured you to do anything you weren't comfortable with.

It wasn't that you didn't think he was attractive, it was quite the opposite. He was Adonis-- tall, lean muscle, abs, strong jaw line, hair that you wanted to run your hands through. He was too perfect and it intimidated you. Other than the physical limitations you had set, it was a great relationship. The two of you could talk for hours, joking and laughing. His personality fit yours, he didn't get upset at your sarcastic quips, he actually enjoyed then and retorted back with just as much sass.

"Y/n, what's the problem? Why do you look so nervous?" your friend Aimee asked once class had been released for lunch.

"Yeah, and you look really sweaty..." your other friend Sayori mentioned, motioning to your red face.

Fanning your face with your hands, you admitted, "I'm going to do the deed today, that's why I look like a hot mess."

The two girls grinned and squealed, gaining the attention of the few stragglers in the classroom. You hushed then quickly, hiding your head in your arms. "Guys, please! This is already a stressful day! I don't need you all screaming and making a big deal of it." you mumbled into your arms.

Someone patted your head and ruffled your hair. "You really must be nervous if you're scolding us instead of screaming too."

"You may be right, Sayori-chan, normally Y/n is the first one of us to scream about something exciting."

You lifted your head and glared at your friends while trying to hide your growing smile. Aimee grabbed your cheeks and squished them together while Sayori hoped with excitement, "You're finally growing up! You put on your big girl thong today!"

"Oh my God, please don't ever say that again!" you groaned, trying to push the brown haired girls hands away from your hurting cheeks.

Sayori stopped her jumping and put her hands on small hips. "But it's true, you're going to be be the first one of us to actually put one of those things in your mouth."

Aimee stopped her assault on your poor face and rebutted, "Hey! I almost did!"

"Yeah, but then you woke up from your dream and realized Morisuke wasn't actually there." you teased light heartily.

The three of you laughed and you finally stood from your desk, stepping out of the classroom with your two best friends. Your trio hiked up the steps to the roof, opening the door and scoping it out, making sure no one had claimed your lunch spot for themselves. The warn sun caressed your face and the breeze carried the scent of the freshly bloomed flowers with it, pollen included. It was a gorgeous day, barely any clouds in the sky and birds happily perched on the edge of the roof, singing songs in hopes of finding a mate.

Plopping down on one of the benches, you confessed, "I've never seen his... you know what in person, what if I hurt him?"

Sayori tied her red hair in a messy bun before responding. "I've given a hand job before, they're surprisingly durable; you're only going to hurt him if you bite him or something like that."

Before you could respond with a smart ass comment, the devil named Tetsurou texted you.

Volleybitch (4) unread messages

Hey doll face (Ф∀Ф)

im bored Kenma wont stop playing fire emblem to talk to me

he keeps talking about defeating the death knight but idk who that is

we still on for tonight? you get to pick the movie as long as its good

You rolled your eyes as you responded.

tell him to recruit lysithea and he can one shot him with her lol

yeah we're still on!! the fams gone for the weekend so we can actually use the big tv in the living room

just promise to take a shower before we leave bc i dont want u sweating up my couch you stink

literally all the time

nasty sweaty man

Putting your phone away, you focused on your friends who were still more excited about your nights rendezvous than you were. It was true that you didn't want your boyfriend making your house smelling like a gym, but you didn't want to put your mouth on him when he was just running around getting sweaty. You had standards, and smelling and tasting sweat was not apart of those standards

"You ready to ditch this popsicle stand?" Kuroo asked, tossing his water bottle in his gym bag. His hair was slightly damp from the quick shower he had just had.

You rolled your eyes and replied sardonically, "With you? Never."

"You're right, look at that eligible bachelor over there waiting to watch a shitty movie with you tonight." He walked over to you and flipped you, pointing at volleyball pole that was being put away. "That handsome man wants to take you to dinner, but he can only afford McDonalds. So sad, Y/n, you can only get something off of the dollar menu."

You raised your eyebrows in fake consideration. "Perhaps, but he doesn't have any muscles, so it's a hard pass. Sorry, mister pole, but you're still single."

Your tall boyfriend laughed and guided you towards the gym doors, his hand on your back. You bit back a blush when he rubbed your back slightly. You're about to give this man a blowjob and you wanna blush when he touches your back? You were hopeless.

"So what movie have you decided on? It better not be anything related to Minions or Legos, or I promise you I will cry." Tetsurou deadpanned.

Humming, you grinned. "It's a surprise."

The ten minute walk to your house felt like an hour. You and Kuroo talked about the tournament coming up, but all you think of was the fact that you were going to suck this hot man's cock. The thought made you blush and salivate. Ideally his shirt would be off, letting you see how his work out regime gave him a delicious torso. You wondered how big he was, how thick it would be; would he taste good, would he be shaved? What if he didn't want you to suck him off? Would he find it repulsive?

"Y/n? Hey, dollface, we're at your house, stop walking or you're going to end up at your neighbors front door," Tetsurou's voice brought you back from your daze.

"Oh, sorry, I was just thinking of a strategy for the team and I guess I got lost in thought." you chuckled nervously, forcing your blush to evade.

Unlocking the door and stepping inside, your heart officially started to race. How was this going to start?

Right, start a movie!

"I'll start a movie if you wanna go get us something to drink from the kitchen," you suggested as you made your way towards the living room.

You shut the blinds in fear your neighbors would end up looking into them and seeing your lewd actions and quickly double checked to see if you locked the front door. Call yourself paranoid, but you didn't need anything interrupting.

Tetsurou returned with two glasses of water and a smirk. Once he placed the two glasses on the coffee table, he sink into the couch and gazed at the TV. "So, I see the decision is The Breakfast Club. Again."

"You know it's one of my favorite movies!" you argued, sitting beside him.

The movie started, and twenty minutes into the movie, it was time to start your plan.

You took a deep breath, exhaling through your nose. With a shaky hand, you ran it down Tetsurou's arm idly, gaining his attention. You could see his eyebrows raise in question as he gazed at your fingers brushing against his bicep. You wet your lips and kissed his cheek, traveling to his mouth.

This caught him completely off guard.

He didn't complain, though, shifting his body to make it more comfortable for the both of you. Feeling confident in yourself, your tongue brushed against his lips, asking permission to enter. He happily obliged, opening his mouth and letting your tongue graze his. His hands wandered to your shoulders, rubbing them as your tongues battled for dominance-- in the end, Tetsurou was victorious.

Your lower stomach was getting hot, you could feel your panties begin to dampen with arousal. His hands trailed down your shoulders to your arms, rubbing them softly. Your hands went to his hair, running your fingers through the tresses. The black haired boy groaned in your mouth, making you clamp your thighs shut. Feeling a burst of confidence, you broke the kiss and climbed into his lap, shocking him.

His eyes were dark with lust as he panted, "This is a nice surprise."

"Hush, or I'll stop." you murmured, going back to his lips with newly found gusto.

You've never been this aroused, your panties were soaked and threatening to spill onto your inner thighs. You knew your face was flushed brightly, but kissing Kuroo and feeling him harden beneath you was making your brain numb. It buzzed with lust and you could only focus on how his hands moved to your sides and how they felt like hot fire, his finger tips leaving warmth.

Experimenting was never something you thought you'd do, but you swiveled your hips in his lap, earning a heartfelt groan from the man beneath you. Breaking the kiss once more, you gazed at him with glossy eyes. Remembering your research, you stepped off of his lap and kneeled in front of his sitting form, peering at him through your lashes.

You'd never seen Kuroo blush, but seeing you on your knees, flustered, hair tousled, and lips plump from kissing, you'd think he'd passed out.

The tent in his shorts were impressive, no matter how baggy the shorts were. Licking your lips once more, your shaking hands tentatively rubbed up his thighs, nearing his growing cock. He stuttered and swallowed harshly. "What do you think you're doing, doll face?"

"I'm going to suck you off, Tetsurou," You swore you heard him groan. "Unless you have a problem with that?"

He shook his head. "Not at all."

Swallowing the sudden nerves, you helped him pull his shorts and underwear down, releasing his cock. Your eyes widened once you saw how impressive it was. Would that fit in your mouth? Licking your lips, you stuck your tongue out and grazed the head of his swollen member, enticing a hiss from your boyfriend.

"Fuck, Y/n..." he muttered, bringing one of his clenched fists to his mouth, biting it.

Gaining the confidence back you had originally, you popped the head into your mouth, sucking it lightly. Tetsurou stuttered out a moan, whispering your name. You went down his shaft a bit further, gripping one of his thighs for leverage. Kuroo was very vocal, giving you praises and groaning every time you sucked your cheeks in. Your other hand went to grip the rest of his cock that you couldn't fit into your sore mouth. He was girthy, your jaw was beginning to hurt from the unusual strain. You bobbed your head with more speed, glancing up at Tetsurou who had his head thrown back in pure bliss. Your neglected, throbbing sex was growing more aroused with slick, this boy was going to be the death of you.

His hips started thrusting shallowly to meet your mouth, one of his hands going to your hair. His moans were becoming louder and the grip in your hair was growing tighter.

"That's it, Y/n, don't stop. God, who knew you had such a good mouth," he praised.

Kuroo Tetsurou was coming undone before you and it was sexiest thing you've ever seen.

All because of you.

#haikyuu #haikyuu smut #hq smut #hq x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo #kuroo tetsuro #kuroo smut #kuro tetsuro smut #imagine #smut #lemon #haikyuu lemon #kuroo lemon #haikyuu scenario #kuroo scenario #hq headcanon #headcanon #haikyuu headcanon

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kisskeiji · 3 years

Text

2. Goodbye, good times.

Lost & Found.

WARNINGS: language, mentions of alcohol, mentions of cheating.

The walk back home was hard for Hajime. Home, he couldn’t call his place home since you left. It was lonely, he missed seeing you playing around in the kitchen while you danced to your favorite tunes. He missed the way you stayed up late to catch up with your school work, the mess you made every morning when you were getting ready for school and the kiss you shared before you left. He missed you.

He missed you and you were gone. But, where? You talked about the exchange offers you received with him, but you declined all those opportunities to stay with him. Could you have taken one of them? ‘Of course she did’ He thought. All the guilt he felt weighed on him everyday, and as if losing you wasn’t enough, his best friend was also ignoring him and wanted nothing to do with him.

Two days after what happened Iwaizumi’s phone rang while he was at work, it was Oikawa calling.

“Iwa-chan~ Did Y/N break her phone again? My texts won’t reach her.” The brunette said with annoyance in his voice.

“I don’t know. I can’t reach her either.” he looked down.

“You don’t know? You live with her, Iwa-chan, don’t be silly.” Oikawa laughed.

“Not anymore, she left.” Iwaizumi busied himself cleaning the dumbbells on the rack before it was opening time.

“Yeah, and I’m back in Japan. Stop playing Iwa-chan, now what did she do now? She dropped it in the toilet again?” Oikawa was growing frustrated. Why would he joke with something like that?

“I’m not joking, Oikawa, we broke up.”

“Why? What happened?” Anyone could feel Oikawa’s distress from Argentina. Iwaizumi sighed.

“She caught me with another girl.” his answer was almost inaudible, but Oikawa heard loud and clear from the other line. The sigh that left his lips after a few seconds was hard to read, it was a mixture of sadness, worry and disappointment.

“You are unbelievable, Iwaizumi.” Oikawa said “Out of all people, I never thought you were one to be unfaithful nor you could do something so low like cheating on the girl who spent the last four years of her life on you.”

“Do you think I don't know?”

“I don’t know, do you?” Oikawa spat.

“Look, Shitty-kawa, I don’t need you to tell me what I already know. I fucked up my relationship with Y/N, but that’s none of your business.”

“It is my business since my best friend blocked me because she thinks I backed you up on your stupid decisions. Can’t you see? She hates me too. And I’m sure she blocked Matsukawa and Hanamaki too, just ask them. You are right, it’s none of my business, but I got dragged into this mess because of you.” Oikawa screamed from the other side of the line.

“Well I am your best friend too, I think I need your support rather than you scolding me from the other side of the world as if you were my mom.” Iwaizumi said dropping the rag he was cleaning the equipment with.

“And you think you deserve any kind of sympathy after what you did?” The former setter asked in disbelief. Iwaizumi’s eyes dropped once again to the floor, there was no answer, he knew he didn’t but still hoped for his best friend to help him out. “Get fucked Iwaizumi, and please don’t ever call me again.”

Oikawa ended the call and blocked Iwaizumi’s number too.

That was almost two months ago. He was completely hopeless now. Out of the third years, only Matsukawa and Hanamaki knew about his affair and kept their mouths shut under the promise that Iwaizumi would cut the girl off, he didn’t. Still they made sure he wasn’t drowning on his own thoughts and checked up on him, they were friends after all.

“What are you doing here?” Iwaizumi asked as he closed the door and took his shoes off.

“We were bored and we brought dinner but you weren’t home.” Matsukawa explained.

“And there’s no Wi-Fi at the dorms.” the pink haired said without looking away from his laptop.

“Whatever, I’m going to take a shower.” Iwaizumi walked past them.

“Eat something first.” Matsukawa called.

“Not hungry.”

Matsukawa and Hanamaki shared a look and sighed.

“Let 's call him.” Hanamaki suggested.

“He is mad at us too.” Matsukawa ran his hand through his hair.

“Yeah, but he hasn’t blocked us yet.” Sharing another look they agreed on calling Oikawa as soon as Iwaizumi finished showering.

Ten minutes later, Iwaizumi walked out of his room and went straight to the kitchen, he could hear his friends whispering in the living room. “What are you two up to?” He opened the pantry looking for his protein powder. ’I forgot to buy it again.’ He thought as he stared at the empty jar. You used to get it for him on your way back from work, but not anymore. He could hear his friends bickering on the couch and he knew they were most likely planning something stupid. "What are you two doing?"

“Nothing much, can you come here for a second?” Matsukawa asked. Iwaizumi made his way to the couch where the other two sat, Makki placing his laptop on the coffee table. The screen showed an outgoing video call to Oikawa.

“Why are you calling him?” He attempted to stand up but Matsukawa pulled him back down.

“Because we don’t know what to do anymore, and he knows you better than we do.” Matsukawa explained. Before Iwaizumi could say anything else, Oikawa picked up.

“Makki I already told you I don’t want to see your rash! Go get checked or something!” Oikawa whined. The lightning adjusted and soon enough the three men could see him fresh out of the shower, drying his hair with a white towel.

“Shut up! I didn’t call you for that, you idiot.” Hanamaki retorted.

“Then what? I had morning practice and I’m exhausted, it better be good.” The former captain walked out of the bathroom and to his bed.

“We need your help.” Matsukawa added.

“Oh you are together, wait, you aren’t with Iwaizumi, are you?” Oikawa asked, Iwaizumi and Matsukawa shared a glance.

“Not right now.” Makki lied.

“Then go ahead, I'm listening.” As soon as Oikawa spoke, Hanamaki directed the camera to Iwaizumi and he could only stare awkwardly in the few seconds of silence before Oikawa could say anything.

“Before you hang up, please listen to us.” Matsukawa started.

“You said you weren’t with him.” Oikawa whined again “I knew you were up to something and I don’t want to be part of it. Goodbye.”

“No!” Both Makki and Mattsun yelled trying to keep Oikawa on the line.

“Let him go, he clearly doesn’t want to see me.” Iwaizumi said.

“Poor you! It’s what you deserve.” Oikawa scoffed and rolled his eyes while anger was already building up inside Hajime.

“Really? And you deserve the most annoying manchild on earth award! Maybe if you stopped whining and listened for once in your life you could see there’s two sides of the story.” This time Iwaizumi yelled at his best friend. Hanamaki and Matsukawa remained silent.

“You are right, and thanks to you I can only listen to the cheater’s side, which I’m not interested in, go to hell.” Oikawa spat, he was no longer laying down and his breathing was heavy.

“No, you go to hell.”

“Both of you shut up!” Hanamaki intervened “Please just make up, you need each other, and like it or not Hajime needs us right now.”

“He is right, we are all friends but we all know that you two know each other better than anyone else.” It was Matsukawa´s turn to speak “Iwaizumi knows he fucked up and you already ignored him enough. So let’s just calm down and then we can talk, okay?” Iwaizumi and Oikawa looked at each other for a second.

“Fine by me.”

“You have ten minutes.” Oikawa put his glasses on and propped his phone on his night stand.

Relief ran through Iwaizumi´s body, his shoulders felt lighter for a moment. He took a deep breath and started telling everything that happened that night, how he met the girl and he kept his relationship with you secret. The ten minute mark was long forgotten, and after he finished Oikawa just sighed and stayed quiet for a moment.

“You are still a piece of shit.” He stated.

“I know, and I’m sorry.”

“I’m not the one who should forgive you, you know that too.” Oikawa pushed his glasses back.

“I went to her sister’s place to talk to her and she was gone.” Hajime ran his hands through his hair repeatedly in frustration.

“Gone?” Matsukawa questioned.

“Yes, I think she took one of the exchange offers she got last semester, but I don’t know where she could possibly be.” Hajime affirmed and looked at Matsukawa, defeat and sadness in his eyes.

“I think you should get the hint and leave her alone for a while, she’ll come around, my Y/N is not one to be remorseful. Just don’t try to win her back if she does call you again.” Oikawa sighed and laid back. Staring at the ceiling he could only think about you and hope you were okay.

“I think Oikawa is right, get the closure you need and let her go.” Matsukawa got up and walked to the kitchen.

“And leave her alone for good.” Oikawa added, still staring at the ceiling.

“I wasn’t planning to win her back, even if I tried, she would say no.” Iwaizumi admitted.

“As she should.” Another remark from Oikawa made Hanamaki laugh.

“Cut it out, would you? I think you’ve slandered Iwaizumi enough.” The pink-haired man patted Iwaizumi’s back trying to comfort him, Hajime smiled lightly.

“And I’m not done yet, wait till I get to you, mister thigh rash.”

“Feisty.” Matsukawa said and handed a glass of water to Iwaizumi who whispered a ‘thanks’ and took a sip.

“You can shut up too, you two are just as bad for not telling Y/N or me.”

“In our defense, as soon we found out Hajime promised to cut the girl off.” Hanamaki explained.

“But he didn’t. We feel bad too, Y/N was our friend too.” Mattsun placed his cup on the coffee table.

“Oi, don’t say it as if she is dead.” Iwaizumi smacked Matsukawa´s head.

“Well, we sure are dead for her. She blocked us too.” Makki lowered his head.

“What you guys deserve.” Oikawa yawned and shifted to lay on his side. “I am really tired so I’m leaving, I’ll call you guys tomorrow.”

After saying their goodbyes Iwaizumi stared at his best friend.

“Oi, Tooru.” He called and Oikawa just hummed in acknowledgment. “Thank you.” He knew he didn’t need to say anything else.

“Yeah, yeah, now get some sleep, you look like your soul left your body. Please take care.” It was hard for Oikawa to hide his concern, but with that phrase he ended the call.

Deep down he was glad you decided to take your time and get away from Tokyo, but he was worried about you too. It was bright outside but he felt tired, it was the guilt also weighing on him, he did nothing wrong, but still he wished he could’ve been by your side and not on the other side of the world.

A year later…

You were going back home after graduation. It’s been a year since you left Japan to study abroad in England, and it was by far the best decision you could’ve ever made. The year passed quickly, but you travelled and met a lot of people who you considered family.

It was sad, honestly, as much as you wanted to come back home, it was a painful reminder that you had to confront all the people you left hanging when you went away, still you had no regrets. It was a great year, you graduated and you had a job secured once you returned thanks to your professors who put a good word for you with their acquaintances and friends in Japan. “I can’t believe you have to go already.” your friend Lily whined as she dragged one of your suitcases around the airport.

“Neither do I, this year went by so fast.” You turned around and looked at her, she was clearly trying to hold her tears back. Truth is, your roommates became your best friends and a part of you wanted to stay in London just to be with them.

“We’re going to miss you a lot, Y/n.” Emma, your other roommate, said and hugged you from the side.

“Hey! I am here too. Are you going to miss me?” Kuroo complained “I could use some help too.”

“Shut up, Tetsuro.” Lily flicked his forehead playfully.

Kuroo Tetsuro, professional instigator and one of the guys you met through the exchange program you were in. He was also one of Bokuto's best friends, it was a coincidence —definitely not Bokuto’s doing — that you met, but you were glad you did. Kuroo was the closest thing you had from home and a great friend, after all he was taking care of you like Bokuto asked him to. You studied, travelled, cried on his shoulder and had the most fun with him the past year, and you were glad you were coming back home with him.

“I know it breaks your heart to let me go, Lily.” He said with that shit eating grin that seemed to never leave his face.

“Whatever floats your boat, big boy.” She smiled at him and hugged him. “I am going to miss you and your big mouth too.”

“Woah, we are getting kinky over here.” He joked before Lily punched him on his side.

“Idiot.” She muttered. More of your friends came to say goodbye and send you off, after another round of hugs and promises to call and visit you were boarding the flight with Kuroo sitting by your side.

“Finally.” He sighed and laid back on his seat with his hands behind his head.

“Yeah, finally.” You smiled at him and waited for the plane to take off.

“So, you are working for Bokuto’s team, have you told him about it?” Kuroo asked while he reclined his seat.

“Nope, It’s a surprise. Only Akaashi knows.” You looked through the window. “I can’t believe Bokuto confessed after I left.”

“Me neither! How am I supposed to be the best man at their wedding if I wasn’t even invited to his confession.” He tapped his fingers on his leg and stared at the buttons above his head.

“They’ve been dating for less than a year and you are already planning the wedding?” You raised an eyebrow.

“I’m calling it right now, they are getting married three years from here.”

“Bet?” You asked in a playful manner.

“Bet. Loser makes a fool out of themself at the reception party.” You shook hands to seal the deal. There were almost fourteen hours left to get home, so you decided to watch a movie and then sleep for a few hours.

Once you landed at Osaka’s airport, Bokuto and Akaashi were waiting for you at the gate. The volleyball player tackled both of you into a hug and asked a lot of questions, Akaashi just looked at his boyfriend in awe and smiled at you before welcoming you with a hug too.

“Your sister made sure the moving company left all your boxes in your new apartment and she asked me to give you this.” He said once you let go. You see him fish into his pocket for your new keys”

“Thank you, ‘Kaashi.” You took the keys to your new house. You were excited to move to Osaka and start a new life — again— you trusted your sister to find you a place and she did an amazing job, she found an apartment less than fifteen minutes away from your workplace.

“Are you hungry? Let’s grab something to eat before we take you to your new place.” Bokuto threw one of his arms around your shoulders and dragged one of your suitcases with his free hand.

“Yes, please, we are starving.” Kuroo cried walking slightly behind with Akaashi.

You had dinner with them and talked about your time in London, all the places you travelled to, the party tragedies and all the problems you got into with Kuroo making Bokuto and Akaashi laugh. You gave them the gifts you bought for them — a lot of thrifted books, a fancy pen and some keychains for Akaashi and a teddy bear with an ‘I love London” shirt, a hat and a phone cabin figurine for Bokuto — and had a lot to drink. Akaashi decided that it was better for you to stay the night with them since your apartment wasn’t ready yet, but you still wanted to see your new home. You opened the door and walked in hesitantly followed by your three friends.

“Fancy place.” Kuroo said after whistling in awe. The place was already furnitured, too minimalist for your liking but you were adding your touch — and a lot of indoor plants — later, the kitchen was definitely bigger than the one you had at your place in London, the high ceilings made the place look a lot bigger. “If you ever need a roommate I’m free.” Kuroo peeked his head from what you assumed was your bedroom.

“I rather eat dirt than sharing an apartment with you again, not after the Airbnb disaster.” You cringed at the memory of Kuroo almost setting the rented apartment on fire trying to light a chimney. You travelled with your friends to Scotland during winter break and rented a place to stay during your time there, all of you were freezing and he offered to light the fireplace, but he forgot to mention he never in his life lighted a chimney, hence him setting one of the cushions — and part of his hair — on fire. “Oh, come on that was one time! And there’s no fireplace here.” he leaned against the wall also cringing at the memory of his burnt hair.

“Yeah, I’m still not rooming with you.” You walked past him to look into your bedroom, he followed right after you. The bed was really big and you had a lot of storage space in the closet. The room had its own bathroom and a vanity. “I need to go plant shopping.” you entered the bathroom to take a look too.

“Maybe you should go grocery shopping first.” You heard Akaashi enter the room. “The place is really nice, but I do agree with you, it needs a little bit of life and color.”

“Once you start working you can get all the plants you want, Y/N, but first let’s focus on settling your stuff down.” Kuroo sat down on the bed and Akaashi hummed in agreement. They were right, you needed to unpack all of your belongings as soon as possible, your family planned to come the next day to help you out since Bokuto and Akaashi had to work and Kuroo had to take the train back to Tokyo to visit his family. You were excited to see your parents and sister, your departure was so sudden and you missed them like crazy. Living by yourself was terrifying for you. It was a reminder that you were alone. There was no one expecting you to come back every night, and looking back at your new bed, it was too big. ‘Stop thinking about him.’ You thought to yourself.

It was inevitable, Iwaizumi still occupied your thoughts from time to time, not as often as a year ago, but sometimes your mind drifted away and reminisced of your times with him. Like when you moved in together, your movie marathons and the nights you spent in his arms talking about the future. Ever since you went away you wondered what future he was talking about. If he wanted a life with you, why did he cheat?

The first three months in England felt like hell, you were homesick and all the pented anger and sadness took a toll on you. For a month straight you cried yourself to sleep until your roommates noticed and asked what was going on, you told them everything one night hanging out with your friends —including Kuroo— drunk on wine. They all decided to join the “Let’s beat Iwaizumi up” club and helped you to get through the pain you were feeling at the time. You will always be grateful for them helping you forget Iwaizumi. But it wasn’t that easy. You couldn’t say you still loved him, but the aftermath of your breakup with him came with trust issues and affected the way you perceived yourself. You felt completely unworthy, like you weren’t enough and it took a lot of work and help from your friends to get past that. You deserved better, you know it now. However, the memories with him remained untouched in your head. You grew up together, he was with you in your proudest moments — funny enough, he brought you to your lowest — and it was impossible to look back without him being in the picture.

A week after your arrival you were all set in your new apartment. Your parents and sister helped you out organizing your belongings and decorating the place. You and your mom were one and the same, she brought with her some indoor plants knowing that was your new place needed — You also went plant shopping and dragged your dad and sister with you —, your dad installed some shelfs and a security system since he was worried about you living alone far away from home and your sister went grocery shopping, organized your closet with you and gave you some tips on living alone. Bokuto and Akaashi made sure to drop by once your family went back home. “So you start working tomorrow?” Akaashi poured another glass of wine for you.

“Yes! I’m really excited. I had a meeting with my new boss today and apparently the public relations department only has five employees. I’m surprised since it��s such a popular team.” You said and took a sip of your wine. You were working as a P.R manager for the MSBY Black Jackals thanks to your professors recommendations, although you never imagined working in the sports field but it was a great opportunity for you who just graduated college, so you took the chance and secured a job before coming back home. “When are you going to tell us which team you are working with?” Bokuto asked. “You should work for my team, my friends are really amazing.” He added, he was kind of bitter since you were working for another team and you are supposed to be his ‘super best friend’, what kind of super best friend works for a rival team? He felt betrayed to say the least.

“I’m sure, Kou, but it’s a surprise.” You giggled at your friend’s deflated state and puppy eyes.”You will see tomorrow.” You wanted to mess with him a little bit and tried to make really obvious that you were working for his team.

“How am I going to know if I’m not going to be there?” He asked in confusion, Akaashi and you shared a playful glance and then waited for it to hit him “Akaashi! What does she mean? and why are you smiling?” It took a few seconds until his jaw dropped “Wait! You are working for us?” He got up from his seat and waited for you to answer, you could only nod and laugh at his excitement, he hugged you and started talking at an unbelievable speed, telling you about his teammates and how excited he was to have you at work. “We’re going to have so much fun, Y/N!”

“Bokuto-san, we have to go, you have morning practice.” Akaashi announced trying to save you from Bokuto’s sudden energy kick, the gray haired man went back to his sad state when he heard his boyfriend’s voice saying they had to leave. You walked them to the door and held Akaashi’s arm, dragging him down enough to whisper in his ear. “Bokuto-san? Really?”

“What do you mean?”

“No pet names? My love, my one and only, love of my life? Nothing?” You asked in disbelief. He chuckled. “That’s none of your business, brat.” He flicked your forehead and laughed at your pained expression “Those are reserved for special occasions.” You gagged at his words and he pulled you into a hug and kissed your forehead right where he hit you before. “Good night, Y/N.”

“Good night, ‘Kaashi, text me once you get home.” You closed the door and sighed at the sight of your empty apartment. ‘This is going to be rough.’ You thought, you couldn’t wait to start working to get away from the haunting loneliness that flooded your place.

The next morning Bokuto couldn’t be more excited, he texted you really early to wish you luck. He was really motivated during morning practice, he was energetic all the time, but you being there got him pumped up. The Jackals were currently running drills and his cross shots were exceptional. “Bokkun, you are on fire today!” Atsumu praised the wing spiker.

“Miya is right, what got you so excited today?” Meian dried the sweat from his forehead with a towel and took a step closer to Bokuto.

“My best friend is coming today! She just came back from London and I am really happy that she’s here!”

“She is watching us practice?” It was Barnes’s turn to ask. Bokuto shook his head and explained.

“She is going to work on our team as a manager!”

“Good, we need a new one since Omi-kun scared the one we had.” Atsumu looked at Sakusa who opted to ignore him.

“Not that kind of manager, she is going to work with Imai-san in public relations.” Bokuto explained and sat on the floor before coach Foster came back and called the break off.

“That’s right, Bokuto.” a woman’s voice interrupted the chat between the players making them turn around to look at you and your boss, Imai Hideko, the MSBY Black Jackals manager and promoter. “Listen up, guys, this is Y/N L/N, she is our new Public Relations manager, I expect all of you to behave and get along with her. She is in charge of your schedules and everything that involves public appearances.” She introduced you and the team bowed as a greeting.

“I’ll introduce you!” Bokuto got up from the floor and took your hand to drag you around “This is Meian-san, our captain! He is really scary when he gets mad.” Bokuto pointed at his captain and his awkward smile that vanished as soon as it appeared. “See? Scary.” Bokuto trembled.

“Pleasure to meet you, thanks for working with us, take good care of our team.” The black haired captain greeted you. “Thank you for having me.” You greeted back before Bokuto dragged you to two extremely tall men who seemed to have a nice chat while they rested for a bit, you felt bad for interrupting their break.

“This is Oliver and Thomas, they are really strong players! Oliver-san spiked once directly to my face and I thought he broke my nose, and Thomas is one of our middle blockers, you may get along well, he speaks english too! He is always talking in english with Inu-san, where is he by the way?” Bokuto started to pull from your arm before you could even greet both players, you looked at them apologetically and they laughed, they were already used to Bokuto’s energetic personality. “Inu-san!” Bokuto called a man from the other side of the court.

“Hey, Bokkun! This is your friend?”

“Yes! Y/N, this is Inu-san, he always treats us to dinner and has a really cute cat! His name is meatball and he always scratches my face when he sees me.” Bokuto pouted and Inunaki giggled.

“I trained him to do it.” He said. “Shion Inunaki, pleasure to meet you.” You shook his hand and introduced yourself again, starting a small conversation about his cat until you heard someone cough behind you.

“Oi, Bokkun, you are not going to introduce me and Omi-kun.” Another blonde haired man said.

“You are right! Y/N, this is Tsum Tsum and the one with the mask is Omi-kun, they were scouted at the same time as me! We are like brothers.” Bokuto had a big smile on his face. ‘Omi-kun’ muttered a ‘No we are not.’ with clear disgust and walked away.

“Yeah, they are dumb, dumber and asshole.” Inunaki said, making you laugh.

“Who 's who?” You asked.

“Up to you.” He shrugged with a smirk and walked away. You never noticed when the guy Bokuto introduced as ‘Tsum Tsum’ stepped closer to you.

“Atsumu Miya, a press favorite.” he grinned.

He was insanely attractive, everyone in the team was but something about his hazel eyes made you look past his overly cocky attitude. His aura was definitely charming, but something inside you screamed ‘danger’, you took a step back and smiled politely. “Sure you are.”

“Well guys, I hope you don’t cause Y/N trouble.” Hideko said, walking next to you. “She will be reviewing your schedule for the next few weeks since we are really close to starting a new season. Listen to her, and don’t be a pain in the ass, and yes Miya, I am talking about you.”

“Imai-san! What are you talking about?” Atsumu whined.

“You know exactly what I mean, Miya.” Hideko placed her hand on her hip and rolled her eyes.

“Thought you were a press favorite.” You giggled at the setter’s upset expression, he could only look at you, before he could say anything else, you smiled brightly catching his attention. You were beautiful, and your smile was really sweet. It was his turn to smile, this time to himself, you were refreshing and something in your presence got him hooked. Maybe the confidence you irradiated, the warmth in your smile or how you played along with his joke.

“Thank you so much again for having me and I hope we can get our work done smoothly, I’m here to help you in case you get in trouble with the press or have any questions on your schedule.” You bowed at the team once again.

After a small talk with coach Foster, you and Hideko left the court and went back to your new office, leaving a great first impression on the team. “Your friend is really nice, Bokkun.” Adriah said while he did his cool down stretches.

“She is the best! I’m glad you guys like her.” Bokuto took off his knee pads and started stretching on the floor too.

“I think someone liked her way too much.” Inunaki patted Atsumu’s back as he walked past him.

“Oi, Inu-san!” Atsumu whined, he almost choked since he was drinking from his bottle when Inunaki hit him. The rest of the team laughed at him.

“You like Y/N-chan, Tsum Tsum?” Bokuto asked.

“No, I just met her, and leave me alone, I don’t have time for this.” Atsumu said with clear annoyance as he walked away, the team laughed again because of the fit he was throwing. It wasn’t a lie, he just met you.

But God, did he wanted to know more about you.

(a/n: hiiii, i took too long, i know please don’t kill me :( i got stuck halfway through it but it’s here and it’s really long! to make up for my pea brain that apparently can’t function properly. anyways, SAY HI TO THE JACKALS! i’m so excited, ik it’s short but next chapter you’ll get the content you want :) as always i want to thank my betas for helping me with this chapter too! they deserve the world honestly. and thanks to all of you too! for all the support and your feedback, it’s always a appreciated. <3)

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TAGLIST: @aonenthusiast @wiseeggspickleslime @koushisun @airheadpillar @sunflwrsandprettyskies @bbkiyoomi @daphnxy @shephard17895 @avatarkyoshithewarrior @for-rebloggery @vv-bee999-vv @fi16ns

@kara-grayson04

#msby atsumu #atsumu x reader #atsumu x you #Miya Atsumu #Iwaizumi Hajime #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi angst #iwaizumi x you #oikawa #oikawa tōru #msby bj #msby black jackal #bokuto #hq anime #hq fluff #haikyuu!!

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everafterkeiji · 3 years

Text

Song: Cornelia Street by Taylor Swift

Summary: Who knew that a certain street can bring back a love that grew in distance?

Pairings: Keiji Akaashi x gn! reader

Tags, Genre: Timeskip! Akaashi, ex! lovers, slight angst, a tad bit of fluff

Word count: 6.8k

A/N: this is my late Valentine's gift for y'all<3 this is also the last story for my tiny event so pls let me know if you enjoyed this story and the rest!

What if I’m not ready for the next chapter?

You had your hands behind you as you felt the odd urge for your feet to lead them to him, but the two meter distance tells you otherwise.

“This is it then?”

He asks, biting his tongue to resist the words that wanted to escape him. Abundant sentences were locked in his throat and they each consisted of reasons why he’s suddenly had a change of mind in your agreement.

You sadly nod but he sees the way you quickly look down as a drop falls to the ground, followed by another, then another. He loathed how you hastily wiped your eyes as you formed a smile on your lips, catching his fallen heart.

“I guess it is, Akaashi.”

Then you waited.

Waited for those words to be exchanged from the both of you but none even came close to the tips of your tongues, both scarred at how the silence grew.

Your expectations were headed in one direction only and that was downwards. The reality of how bitter it was rose to reality while the sky was painted the hue of romance, mirroring the depthless amor you had for each other.

So you were ready, at least you thought you were.

Turning your heel, he calls out for you. A tone that held his pleas in secret, he didn’t realize how he was begging for you to stay with the slight crack in his voice.

“Y/N I-“

Say it, Akaashi. Please, do it for me.

You could land on your knees to pray for everything to be different from what they are now. It looked like everything was set in stone for him but it wasn’t for you. This was a situation you two have discussed about but how come the time where you two are finally taking different directions, it felt too unbelievable at how fast time has come to be?

“See you soon, Y/N.” He continues and this takes a massive hit to your heart. You visualized a completely different sentence then this but instead it was another wake-up call to you. Suddenly, the pages in your book were left unwritten and it seemed like the love story was fading without a happy ending.

But he never really said goodbye did he?

“You too, Keiji.”

With that you two walk in different directions but the string tied on your hearts remained to the both of you as it follows the more miles you reached.

“Congrats, Akaashi! I’m so proud of you! We should celebrate!” Bokuto cheers over the phone, prancing around his apartment while the setter smiles, adjusting his glasses before dragging the zipper of his bag to close it.

“Thanks, Bokuto but let’s meet after this week is that alright?” Akaashi says while he enjoys the night breeze with only the streetlights to guide him where his heart calls home. He could see the way Bokuto would pout at his declined offer as he lets out a chuckle.

“Congratulations, Akaashi-san!” Hinata screams beside Bokuto before they return to their little movie night with the rest of the MSBY team. He was happy to hear from the younger boy, it’s been a while since he’s gone on a meet-up with Bokuto and Hinata but he was thankful at how supportive they were of him even if their paths never met.

“Thank you seriously. I’ll call you when I have some free time. I just have to go somewhere okay?” Bokuto’s smile slumps as he realizes just exactly where he was planning to go but he figured that if this was one way that Akaashi could cope with the wasted years, he lets him be.

It’s the sanctuary for his weakened heart.

“I understand. Don’t stay for too long okay?” Bokuto says, sincerity in his voice. If Akaashi has an endless list of the ex-captains' weaknesses, Koutaro was the only one who knew the boy's kryptonite.

And one touch of it destroys him in every possible way.

“I won’t but thank you. I’ll see you soon.” Keiji bids goodbye to him and ends the call while disregards the voice in his head to control himself going back to same route. With how many times he visits the place, he feels as if he’s memorized every creak on the sidewalk, the exact colors of the houses near it, even the positions of the streetlights that he uses to retrace his steps when he’s on the way home. As he stares at night sky and the stars grew bright making him feel like it was communicating to him. Perhaps, they knew how hopeless he was and they knew that this was the only way to mend his heart even if the bigger pieces were still missing.

The street held so much magic that it faded but Akaashi held onto it because maybe- maybe it could bring you back.

But magic isn’t real and what was left were flashes of our poor reality.

“Keiji, what did you wish for?” You asked him, your head leaned on his shoulder with your intertwined hands on his lap while his thumb traces shapes around it. He smiles fondly while he marvels at the stars.

“I wish it never ends.” He answers softly, looking at you like you were the only being in the endless galaxy that could ever make him believe in foolish wishes while our eyes were too fixated on the celestial creations above.

“What do you think will?”

“Us.”

Here he was, seated in the same place where his wish had turned into dust.

This was his safe place, finding comfort in it even if it had his heart turning into shards and as he keeps his silence, the wise lady who's known the boy ever since he was in Fukurodani, approaches him with a sad smile. A basket of flowers in her hands as she leaves the space beside him unaccompanied knowing it was where you used to belong.

“Still not here?” She asks while Akaashi meets her gray eyes with his lips drawn downwards, avoiding her gaze to look at the stars who betrayed him.

“I don’t think it’ll happen.” He says with his own orbs reflecting the same pain that it does every day. The lady holds out an eglantine rose in front of him while he stares down on it, fascinated at the colors of it. He takes it from her, twirling it in his hands as he smiles, the beauty of it growing on me.

“Thank you.” She bows at him but before she could walk away, she saw how much the boy was holding back the tears with his head down and the flower nearly touching the floor with how low he held it. She feels for him too much. She couldn’t even wonder just how heavy he must feel. He visits more than the times that she could count. Before, he would visit every day- even eating his lunch or just doing something to keep him away from leaving. He was too attached to ever leave but when he left for college, the daily visits subsided and she thought that maybe he’d given up.

It's sad that he didn’t.

She places an iris next to him and her heart stung when she hears him mention a name that is the only thing that brings equal parts of love and pain.

“I’m here, Y/N.”

“Everything okay?” Your friend asks while you turned to her dazed.

“Yeah.” You lied before returning your attention to the buildings and city lights as you wait for your stop. It was too late- nearly passing 1am when you had finished a project that was due for tomorrow. After several coffee fueled nights of editing and rewriting- it was finally over. You were on your way home, craving the mattress to hug you already- even a well-deserved shower. Thankfully, you already had your dinner and you just spent your hours at a library with her trying to settle the outcome of it. Luckily, you were able to catch a bus this late and relax a little by letting the scenery unwind you from your worries.

But with the city being this beautiful, it leads you to remember the divine wreckage that was once your relationship.

At first, you weren’t sure where you wanted to go when college came in.

Now the only place you’d rather be was the space beside him.

It comes as a threat sometimes, to be able to withstand the distance without him. You thought that he’d be a phone call away the first time you broke down during one of your stressful weeks but instead of a dial, it involves mastering the courage to do so and maybe a bus to actually meet with him. You’d let him wipe away your tears, possibly his hands stroking your hair and whispering you pretty words to calm you down, maybe even his lips on yours and that’ll take all the pain away and replace it with the tenderness of his love.

“I’ll be here.”

I wish you would be, Keiji.

Stepping out of the bus, you waved to your friend goodbye while you walked the way to your apartment. You stopped mid-way when you saw a man who was packing his cart of flowers. You noticed him every morning because he’d give away some of his flowers to kids for free, even bringing along his 5-year-old daughter so you would occasionally buy from him. He sees you so he gives you a kind smile while he gestures for you to stop for a second making you go towards him.

He hands you a gorgeous bellflower while you reach for your wallet to pay but he waves you off. You wondered if he gave you a flower seeing that you once came home with tears in your eyes with how exhausted you were or was it because of the season of love or was it a pure act of kindness.

“It’s all good.” You smiled at him while you admire the delicate thing in your hand. He finishes packing up and before you could even ask what it symbolizes. Either way, you were thankful that something so beautiful in your hands.

A temporary replacement for Akaashi’s fingers who found it’s home when it’s intertwined with yours.

Sighing, you went up to your room to rest. After a few minutes of being in complete serenity, your phone rings beside you while you saw Bokuto’s number flash before you. Missing his company, you decided to answer wanting to hear his loud and bubbly voice.

“Bo?”

“Hey hey hey Y/N! God I missed you so much! I really didn’t intend to call this late because I was scrolling and I accidentally pressed on your number but how are you?” This was one of the moments where your smile was genuine. You remembered the times where Bokuto had you laugh for hours during classes. You missed the way he hugged you when graduation came and you had to say good-bye to him first, having Bokuto as a friend felt like there will never be a day where you could be stuck with a rainy cloud above your head. He remained to be the sunshine- or in this case- the star that held it all together. You and Akaashi were superbly proud of him. Seeing him live out his dream with his bright smile is a sight that never gets old.

“I missed you too! I’m doing okay, what about you?” You asked him while your eyes land on a photo of you and Akaashi that was above your desk but you decided to shrug it off because this wasn’t the right time to feel these negative emotions.

“I’m doing good too! I haven’t seen you in such a long time damn. Akaashi is doing well too- he got in as an editor at this agency and- shit I’m sorry I didn’t mean to pile that on you. “ Bokuto says pouting, disappointed that he’d slip up this fast. He didn’t mean to mention in this early- he knew you two haven’t had your heart mended even if time has passed. He was just so used to talking to you so casually that he had forgotten that his two friends weren’t the same lovers as they were in high school.

“That’s amazing to hear, Kou. Tell him I said congratulations.” You said, proud for him. You knew that Akaashi’s future was far different from yours. He was heading on a road that held no traffic, just a simple path with no one to stop him. While yours had bumps and traffic but what made it bearable was because he was right beside you throughout the journey.

But now you had to face it all alone.

“Do you see me in your future?” You asked, turning to meet his eyes while his hands were fixed on your waist. He smiles before he lets his finger doodle on the minimally exposed skin of yours.

“Absolutely. What makes you think I’d say no?” He says looking at you worried that maybe there was another bubble of anxiousness that formed above you, while you grew silent because you were stuck in a dream with how his skin felt blissful on yours.

“Is something wrong, babe?” He asks, caressing your waist while he leans closer to you. It was normal for you to be this intimate but the burn of your heart still feel so new- like every time it happens it feels as if it’s the first time all over again.

“I guess I just got scared at the thought where you wouldn’t be in it.” He feels his heart sped up with your words. Your fate was glued to his and if his future didn’t include you in it, he’ll forever be stuck on the present when you were still there.

“No matter the timeline, the universe, I’d be there.”

But the glue dried didn’t it?

“We were planning to celebrate his new job, are you available?” Bokuto asks, while he wonders if this was a good plan to do so.

“I’ll try.” You responded, a panic sets in wondering how it’ll go down if you actually attend this mini get together. You’d face him- it’s not like you didn’t want that to happen- but the pain was still raw. Seeing him after years of denying that you were over it, you’d be lying to yourself once again.

“Hey Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Got some time to catch up?”

Grinning at the amusement in his voice, you agreed.

It’s ridiculous how the city was filled with romance while two past lovers were consumed by loneliness.

Everyone was love-struck, buying chocolates and roses here and there, like puppets being controlled by Eros. Akaashi had to ignore the constant stories of his co-workers about their significant others giving them gifts and proudly presents their love for each other. He liked seeing them happy of course, everyone’s got their fair share of being in love.

But he experienced it when it became a blur.

You also had to endure the claims of girls on how many roses they got, bragging about it to no end. You also heard guys loudly gossiping about how they got the girl to agree with them on a date and this merely pisses you off because the unnecessary bitterness resurfaces.

Even if this wasn’t your day to be the happiest, you fell at peace with his jacket on you.

You stole about two jackets from him, even wearing his jersey when you visit his house. It felt like a sad embrace- like ghost of him wrapping his arms around you and resting his chin on your head like he used to do. You forgot about it being in your closet but when you found it this morning, it had you speechless for a few minutes before wearing it and imagining his warmth. You actually stayed in your bed for a good 15 minutes just hugging the fabric close to your body, shedding tears here and there when you remembered just how much you craved his overall presence.

With a love this sour, it rained.

Maybe it was because of you two but all of you were obviously not ready for such a down pour- especially on a Saturday when the sun was too bright that when it started to turn to gray, no one was prepared for it.

You were lucky enough that his jacket kept you slightly dry for the first half but the sky got more furious and drowned everyone with it’s droplets. You used your bag instead to find a bus stop bench to avoid the rain, you didn’t have a clear vision at where you were going because of how everyone was rushing to find their own place of refuge and because of the hood of the jacket.

Panting from running, you sat down on the bench as chills ran up your spine with the cold breeze meeting with your drenched clothes.

“Sweetie here- I got a spare umbrella.” A lady says as you turned to her surprised that she’d let you borrow her belonging. When you remove your hood, she’s left to smile at your features.

“Wouldn’t you need that ma’am? I’m sorry but I’ll have to decline.” You said kindly but she shakes her head, opening her bag and grabbing the umbrella as she takes your hand in hers and placing it in your palm.

“Take it, it’s fine. You might catch a cold and I wouldn’t want that to happen to you.” She says, her eyes showing you genuineness.

“But-“

“You can always return it to me when your done, dear. I’m sure you’re familiar with this place.” You raised an eyebrow at her but once you felt the booming beat of your heart, you knew where you are, because there’s no other place that could make you this week.

You dropped the umbrella with so much shock that it led you here. The painted houses, the nightly strolls, the kisses underneath the streetlights- the only place where your mind and heart agreed on.

Shaking your head and picking up the fallen object, the lady was nowhere to be seen and it made your heart pick up it’s pace even more now that she’s disappeared.

Your hand touches something while you jumped slightly at the feel of it. You turn to your side to see an iris, sitting perfectly soaked in water. You eyed it carefully and even when it was covered in water, it’s color and beauty still stood out but tears brimmed in your eyes when you were overwhelmed with so much memories.

“Keiji, I have to go.” You said chuckling while he twirls you around on the empty street, dancing to the beat of your own contented hearts. You weren’t even drunk but maybe you two were just high of the devotion for each other. It was a random move that Akaashi had made when your intertwined hands swing around then the next second he was you twirling and having no care in the world whoever watched.

It was a surprise to see the boy this open- so free to move the way he wanted without surrendering into his doubts. He couldn’t care if he looked like a fool- what was he to do? He was in love.

“You didn’t like our little dance session?” He teases before pulling you into his arms, underneath the light while you chuckled before planting a kiss on his nose.

“I loved it. I didn’t know you could dance like that, my prince.” You said, following through his lines, with a smile on your lips.

“Is it your curfew?” He asks with a laugh knowing you hated when your parents made him bring you home before 10 because of how worried they were.

“You know it is.”

He cups your cheek before he pulls you into a kiss while you closed your eyes, submerging into a pool of butterflies as he deepens it, intensifying the heat of your cheeks. He had his hands to either side of your hip while yours were lost in his dark locks. He pulls away before letting his thumb graze over your cheek.

“I guess I’ll have to spend more time with you in my sleep then?”

You laughed at his words before pulling him close with your arms wrapped around his neck.

“I wouldn’t mind it, prince charming.”

Feeling that your heart was nearly going to collapse, you stood up wiping your eyes as you hurriedly open the umbrella as you walked away as fast as you could, not ready to face another breakdown that’ll take a hard time to recover from.

Not too long from your disappearance, Akaashi sees the empty bench as the rain still poured down on his umbrella. It was another day where his wishes were stomped on, though he knows he should’ve never believed that it’ll be granted in the first place, a trial is still a trial no matter how many failed attempts there were.

He remembers that there was an iris when he last left but he had assumed that the lady took it back to her garden. He knew what it meant; it symbolizes hope. Though he needed it, he longed for something more.

And that was you.

But it was always him and the street, without any trace of you.

Then there’s this feeling in his chest, a tug of a rope that feels so near- a change in atmosphere ever since he got there.

Could it be?

But what sign of such desperation is this? To blindly hope that you were just here?

It’s funny that you actually were.

Keiji sighs as he walks away but there was still that odd feeling that he couldn’t get pass by. He tried to push away the memories like always does but with love around, why couldn’t he just treasure the moments you had?

While he walks to the bus stop, he notices a figure who just got in time to get inside and when he was supposed to follow them, the driver speaks to him.

“I’m sorry kid, we’re already full.” He says but Akaashi nods and steps away from the bus as his eyes follow the move of the figure until they sat down and the bus speeds off.

You removed your hood, thankful that you caught a ride home. Though, you felt bad for the person who didn’t get to ride along because the rain started to come down harder. You kept your hands together on your lap the way home, freezing and still shook by the nostalgic the street brought you to. It was good to be back there because you did visit it multiple times before you settled in your apartment. You used to sit on the bench for hours just letting the emotions wash over you. It was like you could see your past selves that were so happy- like ghosts dancing in the moonlight. Even if it was a breeze of his presence, you’d fall in love with it still.

Why did you both have to mature so fast?

When love belongs to two people who always chose to be the best for each other, it takes them both down.

Why?

Because they were always enough and they never realize it.

You and Keiji were a good example for that.

“Wouldn’t that be better for us?” He asks, fiddling with his fingers at the panic that takes over him but he desperately tried to mask it with his calm composure.

You had to agree.

This was his future at your hands and you wouldn’t want to be the person who could bring him to his down fall.

“I think so- but please not now?” You pleaded, burying your face into his neck, holding on to him while tears threatened to drop on his skin. He closes his eyes and embraces you more, cherishing the last moments he had.

You were too busy worrying about destroying his dreams but what was set in both of your futures was a heartbreak that time could never mend.

You wiped the tear away from your eyes as you felt a yank to your heart the more it floods your mind.

The time you got home, bed ridden for no reason, you couldn’t stay put. Did you want to go back there just to prove that you felt something? Maybe. But was it too late to actually go back? Yes it was. Considering that you slept for three hours and woke up at 1am isn’t exactly the right time to go back when criminals were lurking around. So you had your mind keep you awake but that wasn’t a good decision either because here you were without a fraction of a smile as you held your photograph with Akaashi.

It was a simple photo, just you and him smiling when he wore his jersey after you attended a match they won on. Bokuto took the photo making an excuse was that Akaashi needed to remember this match but he was simply doing the boy a favor just to get a photo with you.

But what you didn’t know was that there was a prize way better than winning the game.

“Thanks Bokuto.” You said before he hands you your phone back while Keiji peaks over your shoulder to look at the photo.

“We look good together.” He comments making you blush while you stared at the screen.

“It’d be better if we actually got together.”

Your phone felt weak in your hands as you turned to Akaashi who didn’t even had a reaction compared to yours, and the only thing plastered on his gorgeous features was a sly smirk.

“You mean-?”

“Precisely.” He says chuckling while you covered your face in your hands with how flustered you were while your heart was practically set on fire as Bokuto shakes his head with a smile with how impressively smooth Akaashi was being.

“I happily accept then.” You said softly with your heart went crazy as Akaashi closes his eyes for a second before smiling and taking your hand in his intertwining it for the first time, even planting a kiss on it making you even more stunned as you already were.

“Finally. I waited too long to call you mine.”

You just felt so euphoric knowing that’s where it all began. Sure, he had been assisting you on your way home but to become lovers and do that was another experience. Prancing around like fools, laughing until someone tells you both to stay quiet, to converse about Greek gods and references that Akaashi took the time to learn about- everything.

I wish I never had to see you walk away.

Both of you thought about the same thing at the same time.

While Bokuto stiffens when he remembers what you told him as he dials Akaashi’s phone number.

“Bokuto?”

“It’s possible, Akaashi.”

With that sentence, he drops his phone as his heart begins to beat the loudest it’s ever been.

“Can you meet with me?”

“Y/N called you?” Akaashi says, frowning at the fact that you had called Bokuto instead of him. He understood why you didn’t though but it still strikes a nerve to him when he remembers how much the captain used to make you laugh.

“I accidentally called and I asked if we could talk some more and it just happened. Y/N told me that every Saturday- they try to visit but the apartment is just far from where you two go. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you as fast as I could, Kei. “ Bokuto says sighing while there was a slight pinch of relief when the setter knew that it was an accident.

“I just can’t believe Y/N still visits.” Akaashi says but Bokuto looks at him with eyebrows furrowed as he leans on the bench. The MSBY player couldn’t comprehend what was so special about the place they were in. Sure, he knew that this was your route home but what about the empty street that makes it so miserable and magical at the same time? After high school and during their video calls, he sees the boy in his usual setting- the same location all over again. The curiosity didn’t hit him but when he knew that you also visited often, that’s when it got him hooked. He’s actually gone there when he accompanied the two of you whenever you’d watch movies together but he didn’t feel just how precious it was. He figured that it was because it’s the only alone time you could get but there’s always something more to it.

So, he finally asks.

“What is it about this place that makes you two keep coming back?”

There was a faint smile on Akaashi’s lips but it disappeared when the weight of the question dawned on him.

“Because when Y/N walked away here, I did too.”

Akaashi bites his lip as Bokuto lends a hand on the younger boy's shoulder, letting him know he shouldn’t be in a hurry.

“I’m so sorry I asked.”

“It’s fine. I had to tell you either way.”

“I just can’t believe it’s all ending so fast.” You said as you were embraced in his chest on your bed while he hums in response with his hand tangled in your hair.

“Have you decided on what to do for college?” He asks softly and your hesitation of an answer was enough for him as he places a kiss on your forehead.

“That’s fine, love. We talked about this, we don’t have to rush it.” You let your fingers fumble with the fabric of his shirt while the negativity consumes you.

“Won’t that affect us?” You asked him quietly while he looks at you confused.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve always known what you wanted to do and I just- don’t.” Akaashi sits up a bit making you do the same while cups your cheek and you avoided his eyes.

“We don’t have to think about what happens then.” He says before taking you in his arms again, your head deep in his neck while you let the scent of him momentarily ease your worries.

His own demons couldn’t calm him down.

He understands why you were so scared because he felt the same. What if he couldn’t bring a smile to your face again? What if the laughter dies and all he could give you were tears? What’s he to do then?

Replacing you isn’t an option for him but he feels as if his own value is worth replacement for everything.

His heart takes another swing of pain while he holds you because rock bottom was so close to him.

“I wouldn’t want to hold you down, Keiji.” You whispered while he’s deep in thought of what mattered more- staying in your future or destroying it?

“I feel the same, my love.” He says caressing your hair as you both closed your eyes.

It wasn’t the fall of love between you two- it was because of how massive it was.

No other feeling could describe how much you loved each other that you would do everything just to keep their hearts together and smiling as days pass by- even if it meant saying goodbye.

“Your dreams, your passion, your strive- Keiji I never want to make you wait just because I can’t figure things out.” You said while tiny cracks formed inside his heart.

“And you know I don’t want to make you feel like you always have to keep up.” You held onto his shirt as tears prickled in your eyes, overwhelmed at how you’d let him go just for the sake of his dream.

You were always proud of Akaashi. He grew into his own star and made all the wishes of love come true when he showed you how much he was willing to stay by your side no matter what.

But even the brightest star becomes dull, especially when it came to you.

You were the one to say that you wanted more time to hold onto him. It’s been a week since your last discussion- which was traumatic for you. You heard him ramble on about his dreams and how endless the possibilities for him and you felt so small. All the dreams in your list were left unchecked while his were adding more and more. He’d suggested things for you but it never settles in your heart when you doubted your own capabilities.

You are my only dream, Akaashi.

“Wouldn’t that be better for us?” He asks, fiddling with his fingers at the panic that takes over him but he desperately tried to mask it with his calm composure.

You had to agree.

This was his future at your hands and you wouldn’t want to be the person who could bring him to his down fall.

“Love I-” Akaashi stutters as he tries to come up with a better way to avoid the end but he was in no man's land now.

“It’s happening is it?” You couldn’t stare at him straight but you could feel it in your bones that his grip was loosening with every second. He pulls away as both your eyes were fixed on your laps as Akaashi’s skin tingles when it craved your own.

“Y/N-”

“Just... don’t say goodbye. I can feel it either way.”

“Then let me say I love you instead.”

Because I’ll never know when I could ever say it again.

It was better to say farewell instead of letting the silence drift you two away.

Akaashi looks at Bokuto with a pained expression as he lets the tears slip from his blue eyes as he covers his face, sobbing into his hands.

Bokuto lets his hand rest on the younger boys shoulder while his heart aches at the sobs that echoed through the night. He should’ve been there, to at least give an embrace to the broken boy because all that ever hugged Akaashi was regret. He should’ve called just to check on him but his job as a volleyball player had his hands busy that the remidner was thrown out of his head.

“It ended here didn’t it?” He asks quietly while Akaashi nods making him bite his lip at how unfortunate it was. He didn’t expect to see this side of Akaashi- and he especially didn’t expect how you two would fall apart just like that. You were too good for each other that what was supposed to make you continue separately, it just keeps leading you both to the same route. Why do you even come back when this was the place you got your hearts broken? Years have passed, moving on was always a possibility but you couldn’t do it. No matter how far you were, your heartstrings were attached to his and there isn’t any way to cut it free when you simply don’t want to let go.

“I don’t think I’ll ever love someone else.” Keiji whispers truthfully, your name imprinted on his heart without a way to remove it.

“You don’t love Y/N.”

Akaashi looks at Bokuto offended as he wipes his eyes, questioning how could he possibly say that- it sounded so painful when he said it like that. It wasn’t true but he can’t even imagine the thought of not loving you anymore.

“Because if you did, why aren’t they here?”

He stares dumbfounded to the boy beside him while Bokuto’s voice was filled with seriousness. The younger boy was surprised to hear such a phrase come from him but what he said was the reality he couldn’t face.

How can he say that he loves you when he hasn’t tried to make ends meet?

But is it too late?

Akaashi is too foolishly patient that he kept returning to same spot when he could’ve gained the confidence to call you and asked how you’ve been doing but instead he wallowed in his own sorrows.

So maybe, he should say goodbye to this street knowing there’s a bigger picture he’s yet to explore.

“Thank you, Koutaro.” He says while the older boy flashes him a smile, his eyes twinkling, pleased to see Akaashi returning to his past self with the realization setting in his mind and heart.

For the first time in years, Akaashi’s heart feels relieved.

Because he was bound to bring you back, no matter the cost.

He’s never felt more excited to leave work.

This was the day where he’s gathered his emotions to properly bid the memories goodbye because he was set on making much better ones when he finally gets you back.

That was his new dream.

When he went home yesterday, he couldn’t sleep with the ideas keeping him awake. This was the adrenaline rush he was looking for when he called you before you went away. He was incredibly set on getting you back even if he’d bombard whatever agency or college room you were in. Letting you go once was enough, if it happened twice then it meant he truly didn’t love you. He was grateful that Bokuto had opened his eyes to a better perspective. He was stuck on one location when you could be anywhere in the world so it was fitting to end the torment by bidding a proper farewell to the tears that he shed.

Arriving later than usual, he has a rose in hand as he takes a last good look at the place where love blossomed like a the rarest flower. He feels how ponderous it was release his grip on something so special.

He sits on the bench for the last time as the flower pivots in his hands as the stars watched the lonesome boy smile. He takes in a deep breath before standing up and before he could let go of the rose, his smile falls first.

You felt your heart go unsteady as you clutched onto the umbrella when your eyes met his perfectly blue ones.

“Y/N?”

He then places the rose on the bench as he got off and ran to you, taking you in his arms with such great force that it almost made you lose balance as the tears instantly came on when he held you tight. Hands around your waist while your arms stayed at your side at how shocked you were. Akaashi buries his face on your shoulder as he closes his eyes and just as he almost says goodbye, he found a reason to stay.

Finally reoccurring to you that it was actually real, you wrapped your arms around him tighter than he ever could. Akaashi thought that it was another day where his illusions would trick him into a life that his mind created for him to be happy but this was way better than any fictional world he formed.

“My future can never be complete if you’re not with me.”

He whispers making your heart awestruck once again as he pulls away from your embrace to place both his hands on your cheek, wiping away your own tears as he looks at you straight into yours, with his own puddle on the corner of his eyes.

“I’m here now.” He says and it takes in every part of your body to not just scream and tell him how much a single sentence mattered to you. You’ve waited too long to hear him say that and to finally witness it had your dim heart allow the light to pass through and the warmth of it makes you weak.

“I love you so much.” Akaashi said like he was out of breath. He feels the pressure that maybe his time was running out and he had to say everything before fate takes you away again.

Noticing the panic in his voice, you placed your hand on his cheek like the fragile lover you were and when you did this, the poor boy was going to faint at how you gently caressed his skin. Raising his glasses, you looked at his terrified eyes as you let your hands ease his racing mind.

“I’m not going anywhere, Keiji.” You assured him while he smiles weakly at your words. You saw the way a tear cascaded down his cheek and you went your way to kiss his temple while your lips felt a shock of electricity when you did it.

“I love you more.” He’s never realized how words could heal his wounds in a second. He places a kiss to your forehead as his hands slowly trails down to your free hand, intertwining them with his as the surroundings lit up, the magic coming back as you smiled at each other.

“Let’s try this again shall we?”

#haikyu x reader #haikyuu!!#akaashi x reader #akaashi x you #haikyuu akaashi #akaashi angst #akaashi keiji #akaashi x y/n #hq akaashi #bokuto x reader #xine's world of romance

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imaginesandall · 3 years

Text

ACExOC Headcanons cuz im bored and sad

BASICS

Her name is Queen.

She is part of the Heart pirates.

Law saved her life once and she devoted herself to him and the crew.

Queen had a bounty before she met the Heart pirates.

'Queen of hearts ♔'

She may have had a thing for ripping out the hearts of a couple of assholes that did wrong on her eyes.

No devil fruits, no powers, just raw force.

Pure coincidence that she ended with the heart pirates after she got her nickname, but the crew loved it and liked to tease her about it.

'It's destiny our dear queen!'

'Shut the fuck up Penguin'

The crew also loves to call her 'queenie' (minus Law ofc)

ACEEEE

When the crew gets to land they separate to get supplies, or whatever it is they need (sometimes what they needed was just getting drunk).

Queen loves her family but she also likes her personal space (sometimes it gets a bit suffocating on the sub).

So being on her own and exploring a new island, she found the cutest freckled boy she has ever seen.

Unconscious.

On the middle of the street.

And well she may be a murderer but she was not heartless (pun fully intended).

So while the people gathered around him whispering what could have happened she took it upon herself to check if the boy (man?) was still alive.

He was.

He just opened his eyes and she almost died of a heart attack.

Like a gentleman (that makino teached him to be) he offered an apology.

But Queen wanted a compensation so she dragged his ass to a trip around the market for supplies.

Queen does not take a no for an answer(just from Law cuz when he enters the DOCTOR MODE then she may as well be doomed).

They went around town on a shopping trip and well... it was nice, and the conversation was funny.

Later that night the Heart pirates and the second commander of the whitebeards were drunk on a small bar singing and dancing.

Law is still not THAT famous so Ace doesn't know him at all, but Law can recognize Ace from the wanted posters and the news (Law is a very well informed man. He has to be).

The crew likes Ace.

Queen likes him even more.

THE BEGINING

After their first meeting it seemed like they were always on the same places.

They parted on an island? Well they are gonna see each other on the next one.

The heart pirates don't interact much with him but they do tease Queen about it.

'ohh there is your boyfriend'

'geez Ikkaku not you too'

'are you gonna get married?'

'Shut up Bepo'

'I'm sorry :c' (this poor boi)

So every time they see each other they have a small activity together.

Both of them are too stubborn to call them dates.

Both of them are also dorks and blush almost at anything.

Ace has trouble trusting people and has self-esteem issues so the even though he likes Queen he thinks he doesn’t deserve anything that makes him happy. And she does make him happy.

So Queen is the first to confess. It takes her a week on the sub (and Ikkaku yelling at her to stop being so dumb) and two days on an island with him to actually confess to him.

‘ I... I wanted to... but Uhh I mean’

‘Please promise me nothing will change after this...’ she kept quiet after saying that.

Queen refused to look at him in the eyes, was shaking like a leaf and then... she ran.

Cue a poor confused boi.

So for everyone else it might have been obvious what was happening.

But this boi thinks he doesn’t deserve love so he just thinks queen catched a bug or something.

The next day she finally confesses and while poor Ace is stunned, he likes her too.

It takes Ace a couple of month to fully accept that yes, Queen likes him and yeah she is being sincere.

Sometimes he still feels like it’s gonna end on a horrible note.

Queen reassures him that she indeed likes him and she is not going anywhere.

THE RELATIONSHIP

Both of them are hopeless romantics but new to relationships.

While ace has had casual flings he never had something serious, as for Queen, well you can’t have a lot of time for anything of that nature while you are running from your life.

Ace always gets Queen small trinkets that makes him think of her.

Little turtles craved on a rock, small shiny rocks(like a bird), food, and other stuff that sometimes he has no idea what they are but they reminded him of queen.

Sometimes Ace feels self conscious that they are not enough and he is fucking things up.

But Queen loves every single weird thing he gaves her and keeps it on a drawer on the polar tank.

Queen also likes to give him gifts but she finds it hard to get something he would like (jokes on her Ace would love anything she gets him).

They love to cuddle.

She loves to trace his freckles, she finds him absolutely adorable.

They get drunk together quite often.

They are the fun™couple.

THE BIG REVELATION

So it took Ace some time to get the courage to tell Queen about his dad.

He tried to make it as natural as possible.

'So what would you say if Gold Roger had kids?'

'The pirate king? Well I mean... I don't know "

'Was he even the kind of pirate that just goes around leaving women pregnant?'

'I mean what kind of woman would like to... well he was the pirate king so...'

'Jeez Ace why would you ask me about his sex life?!'

'I ASKED ABOUT HIS KIDS NOT HIS SEX LIFE'

'HOW DO YOU THINK BABIES ARE MADE?!'

it was not subtle at all.

They were both very red and embarrassed.

Ace had to be very direct with Queen.

He had a breakdown.

He started yelling at Queen about his cursed blood and yelling at her to leave.

Queen stopped him by grabbing his cheeks and giving him a small smile.

'For a guy so smart you sure are dumb huh?'

Queen had to give him a big talk.

'Who gives a crap about who your dad is Ace?'

'You are the things you love, your family, your crew, your friends, the sea, your freedom. The only reason why your dad has such a hold on you is because you let him'

Ace cried for hours while Queen held him.

It broke her to see such a trivial thing in her eyes hold him down like this.

Ace felt better but even after that he had been carrying that burden for so long that it was not gonna dissipate just that easily.

But it made thing easier in their relationship.

'You do look a bit like him tho, I'm guessing you got your pretty looks because of your mom'

#portgas d ace x reader #acexreader #one piece #one piece imagine #oc #reader #portgas d ace x oc #just random stuff that i wanted out of my head #not finished #ishi writes

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notmymainblog · 3 years

Note

if you're accepting requests, could you do a post-azkaban sirius x reader where she's the same age as tonks so they're in like a more secret relationship but somehow the whole order finds out?

I just deleted all of my progress, and I’m ready to die.

Idk if you see responses to your asks unless I tag u so I'm tagging you @msmb

I believe the age gap between Remus and Tonks is ten years?

I put Trewlany in the order to add some spice

If i forget a member of the order: no the fuck i didn’t.

TW: stressed Sirius </3 fluff, mentions, of war, them making out cause it’s literally unavoidable. uuuh that's it.

Master list

InteractiveFics

To use:

Download obvi. Click the icon (upper right by the search bar) in the first box to enter your name. If you did it correctly y/n should read as your actual name. Under that it will say something along the lines of “need to change something other than y/n?” there you can change anything you want.

y/h/c and y/h don't work together so please enter y/ho if you're inputting your Hogwarts house

Here’s a song I like:

There was a war coming. A dangerous war against a dangerous man. Everyone was freaking the fuck out, especially Sirius. The boy he was supposed to be protecting was caught up in the middle of it all.

You were the best method of stress relief. Your y/h/c hair, soft skin, smell, taste, voice, laugh, everything about you made Sirius slow down, take deeper breaths. Sometimes you were the only way he could fall asleep.

But he was old, or so he thought, ‘I’m thirty fucking six, and she’s in her twenties. This is ridiculous. She can’t really love me,’ he’d think.

But time and time again, you proved him wrong. Showing him how much you loved him with every kiss, with every touch, with every word, with every breath. And he gave your love right back. You were there for him, and he was there for you.

As you were lying in bed, you turned to face him, “I want to tell them,” you said.

He pulled you close as he whispered, “I know you do, but what would Molly think? Or Remus? Or Harry? Hermione would flip her shit and Arthur-”

“Ok, ok, I get it,” you grumbled.

He made up for it by placing a kiss on your nose. He moved to your mouth, and one kiss turned to three, turned to four and five, as you made out. His beard tickled your chin, and his mustache brushed your cupid's bow. Your hands made their way to his hair. God, you loved it when it was long. Threading your fingers through it and pulling gently.

As he moved to your neck, and suddenly the tugging wasn't as gentle. Small gasps and mewls escaped your mouth. His hands rubbed your sides, slowly moving your shirt up your body. He was in no hurry, but you were.

“God, Sirius, please just touch me, baby. I love you so much,” you gasped.

“I love you too, y/n,” he whispered.

“My word!” Molly exclaimed, dropping her laundry basket.

“Molly, I am so sorry, just please don’t...tell,” you trailed off, seeing she had already left.

You turned to Sirius, “what do you think?” you asked.

“I think,” he began, “that she’s going to sit with Tonks after the kids have gone to bed. I think she’s going to get a little tipsy. I think she’s going to tell Tonks. And I firmly believe the whole Order will know by the end of tomorrow.” he said.

You smiled, “would that really be the worst thing in the world?”

He kissed you, “no, but the lectures will be.” he laughed.

You groaned, “I don’t wanna think about it.”

A knock on the door startled you both into sitting positions, “y-yes, come in,” you stuttered.

Fred opened the door, “Mum wants you downstairs for dinner, dunno why she didn’t tell you herself,” he smirked, “nice side part Sirius, please get rid of it as soon as possible it makes your face look asymmetrical.”

“oh my god, Fred and George are going to kill us,” you whispered after he left.

“what’s really scary was the side part you gave me on accident, never again y/n,” he smiled, nuzzling the side of your face affectionately.

“no, that tickles, hey! Quit it! I’m serious, oh don’t you dare,” you warned.

“hmm, I’m pretty damn sure that I’m Sirius,” he said, looking at you for a reaction.

You clenched your jaw before getting up and walking down the stairs. You and Sirius refused to look at Molly the entire time, and Molly did the same.

“I’m sensing an energy,” Trewlany began. You internally groaned. She closed her eyes and raised her hands above her head with her palms facing upward.

“A nervous energy between two, no! Three people. At this,” she pointed away from you, “end of the table,”

Hermione glowered at her.

“Hermione dear, I can feel that it is radiating off of you specifically from your heart,” she said.

She got up from her chair and put a hand over Hermione’s heart, “Ah, yes. So sad, so hopeless, and suddenly angry, whatever could have caused that?” Trelawny pondered.

“I’ll be back with black sage and crystals, dear. I can help you become at peace with the darkness inside yourself,” Trewlany said, walking away from the table.

“She is absolutely batshit,” Hermione whisper shouted.

“I dunno ‘mione she might be right,” Ron said, shrugging.

“Oh shut up, Ronald,” Hermione groaned.

“Hey, you two,” You said, pointing at them, “break it up. Now I’m feeling the negative energy too.”

Hermione rolled her eyes before going back to her food.

The rest of dinner was quiet until Trewlany shuffled into the room, “there, there, dear, I’ll fix it in a millisecond,”

You gave Hermione a glare. She clenched her jaw and let Trewlany get to “work.” A few minutes later, Hermione was “cleansed,” and dinner came to an end.

You and Sirius took a seat on the couch. He looked around before pressing a firm kiss to your lips which you returned gladly.

You both chuckled when you pulled apart.

“Sorry, just couldn’t resist,” he whispered.

“It is more than alright,” you whispered back.

Little did you know the youngest ginger girl residing in the house was watching with a hand clapped over her mouth.

She rushed upstairs, “Ronald, get out of my room. You’re such an asshole,” Hermione said.

“Fine, fine, I’ll go,” he said, putting his hands up in surrender, “Oh hi Ginny,” he said.

As soon as he left, Ginny closed and locked the door.

“You’re never going to believe what I just saw,” she said, grinning.

“Well, go on,” Hermione said, obviously impatient, “spit it out!”

She took a deep breath, “I just saw y/n and Sirius snogging,” she gushed.

“No,” Hermione gasped, “You’re fucking with me!”

“y/n and Sirius?” George said, from behind the door. You looked down to see an extendable ear.

“George, what the fuck!” Hermione said.

“When Ginny ran up the stairs, I knew it was gonna be good, but this, this is amazing, this is priceless, this is- I gotta tell Fred,” he said, running away from the door.

“do not pester that poor girl, or I’ll hex you!” Hermione called after him.

“No promises!” he called back.

She turned to Ginny, “I think one of their only talents is eavesdropping” she nodded.

Meanwhile, in the boy’s shared room, Fred’s mouth hung open, and his eyes were wide.

“No!” Fred exclaimed, as George nodded, “But he’s so old!”

George elbowed him, “he’s not that old. He’s only...I have no clue how old he is, but he’s not old,”

“Oi, do you still have an extendable ear?” Fred asked.

“how do you think I heard it, dummy?” he said as Fred rolled his eyes.

Fred and George crept down the hall to your room. When they discovered you weren’t there, they crept up to Sirius’s room on the third floor. The ear wriggled under the door to hear soft voices.

“You have to be the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen y/n. I am so lucky to have you. I have to be the luckiest man on earth,” he whispered into your ear.

“oh, hush,” you said, they could tell from just your voice that your cheeks were pink, “Besides, look at you. God, you’re fucking artwork, Sirius,” your hand ran up and down his chest.

The twins heard his lips press to your forehead. Of course, they had no idea it was your forehead. They could definitely tell when his lips hit yours. The kisses sounded wetter, and your laugh was muffled. They quickly pulled the ear back from under the door making disgusted faces at each other and shaking their heads.

You and Sirius fell asleep pretty quickly, Fred and George debated bleaching their ears, and Molly did, in fact, get drunk with Tonks. At breakfast, you and Sirius felt five new pairs of eyes on you.

‘what if I just kissed her right now?’ he thought, ‘in front of everyone.’

He shook it off, deciding against it. Towards the end of breakfast, he felt your hand squeeze his, bringing a smile to his face. After breakfast, you sat in the living room with Harry and Ron. It seemed that the only people who didn’t know were Ron, Harry, Remus, and Trelawny. You and Harry had always gotten along well. He saw you as a protector, someone to help and comfort him.

Your heart warmed every time he came to you for advice or just to vent. He was funny too. It was rare when no one laughed at his jokes. Ron liked you a lot also, mostly because Harry liked you and you “weren’t mean like Hermione,” Ginny and Hermione saw you as their best friend too. You had sleepovers at least once a week.

You were joyful and youthful, and everyone wanted to be near you. Even Fred and George would (rarely) avoid pranking you or ask for help. You didn’t get on as well with Tonks and Molly. Ever since Remus rejected her, she had been depressed. Now that she knew you were with Sirius and that the age gap between you two was the same as hers, there was a coldness in her tone. She may have even slightly resented you.

Molly was lovely but quite judgmental, and things were just...awkward. Arthur was kind, but you didn’t have any overlapping interests. And, to quote Hermione, Trelawny was “absolutely batshit,” You got on well with Remus, which always made Sirius smile.

Two ginger boys ran in being chased by a brunette and another ginger girl.

“Fred and George Weasley, don’t you dare!” Hermione said.

“Oh, we dare!” they said in unison.

They stopped in front of Harry and Ron.

“Boys, what are you-” you began.

“y/n and Sirius are snogging,” they said together. They were pretty damn good at it.

Harry was processing the new information very slowly and, well, we all know that look Ron gets when something confuses him. Then they turned to you and Sirius. He sat back on the couch with a small smirk while your eyes were wide with blush covering your cheeks.

“You look so cute like that, y’know,” he said, grabbing your chin to face him.

“Sirius,” you hissed.

“What? They all know,” he shrugged.

Much to his delight, your cheeks grew even warmer.

“So you're, ” Harry started; his reaction was the one you were most worried about, but a large smile graced his face, “y-youre gonna be like my godmother, right?”

You looked at Sirius who nodded, “yeah, yeah I am, ” you smiled.

Harry got up and hugged you, “hey, were not engaged or anything everyone calm down, ” you joked.

“Well actually y/n, ” Sirius smirked.

“Youre fucking joking,” you said.

“Yeah, I'm joking, but someday I won't be, ” he laughed.

Remus just leaned on the doorframe, watching this all go down. When everything calmed down, he walked through the room, stopping to pat Sirius on the back.

------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, msmb, I have a warning about the next request of yours I'm posting: it fucking sucks. I mixed fandoms with MHA because I have an obsession with a wrinkly psychopath and man who looks like burnt toast that I just needed to get out of my system. I will ONE HUNDRED PERCENT rewrite it for u love <3

#sirius black #sirius black x reader #harry potter #harry potter marauders #x reader #marauders era #fan fic blog #fan fiction #fanfic #fluff #sirius orion black #sirius x you #sirius black fluff

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pluviophile-imagines · 3 years

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Could I ask what your sexuality headcanons are? I love comparing mine with other peoples’!

Ok second half of this; this is just like. non-students who i Actually have thought about HJBAFV not at all a comprehensive list. Again disclaimer i write all these chars as bi in my fics, also i am bi myself so the vast majority are also bi, and also leaving a lot of these vague so u can imagine ur favorite ship or urself or w/ever

ok lets start this off with Aizawa. I think....... hes another one who's rlly unlabelled, doesnt super care to think it through and define it, but calls himself gay bc his interest in women is very, very rare and it's just way easier to say than explain all that. Definitely do buy into the idea that he had a crush on Oboro in hs but i do NOT buy into the easermic agenda sorry. Definitely not someone who goes looking for dates, but doesn't say no if someone asks him and hes interested (also im not gonna give her a whole section but i saw a hc a while back that the Ms. Joke stuff is literally that shes a lesbian and hes gay and shes fucking with him and i love that so much i just wanted to put it out there)

on the topic of the erasermic agenda: Hizashi's pan and knew it before HS, had a sudden & intense crush on Aizawa for the first month they knew each other and then immediately got over it in favor of a similar sudden, intense, and then immediately fading crush on Midnight. Hizashi and Aizawa r just rlly good friends imo; maybe they messed around for a bit in their twenties but it never went anywhere serious. He dates around a lot, not even necessarily to settle down just to have some fun

Midnight is aro/ace but does get in qprs & gravitates towards women wrt that. Most people dont read vigilantes but theres a woman in that, Kazuho, who i imagine she's been in a long-term qpr with; her relationship with aizawa and hizashi leans a little more towards a qpr than a normal friendship, too, but it's not rlly defined that way

All Might is married to justice queer but v much not interested in relationships. He and that one guy from the first movie are ABSOLUTELY exes and i won't hear otherwise; it's the only relationship he's ever had, and they broke up bc he had to go back to japan. He was heartbroken but did eventually get over him; his lack of romance afterwards is from genuine disinterest and not being hung up on his past. I can see him finding someone else in his later years, after he's retired. Definitely feels like he's not worthy of it tho

Hawks is bi but unfortunately didn't get to figure that out until like Now in the timeline...... if youll let my dabihawks history shine through i think dabi was the reason JHBASFGJHB he was basically brainwashed by the commission to become a hero so he didnt have time to Figure That Shit Out; he knew he was into women bc that was easy & what the commission expected from him but then he started this undercover assignment and met dabi and realized Oh...... Fuck. Hawks is hard tbh, bc i think between the control that the commission has over him and his own convictions as a hero he doesn't pursue any romance (tho he does get crushes or find people attractive) and most of his flings are done to keep up his prettyboy act, not out of genuine interest in being a fuckboy. Can't imagine him having a relationship until well after canon but I do see him being interested eventually

Onto the villains, Shigaraki is unlabelled but probably would call himself queer if asked. Definitely admires women more but isn't very interested in romance; AFO actively encourages him to pursue the things interested in so imo if he were he'd talk abt it more lmfao. I kinda see him as demi as well, not the type to fall immediately but requiring a friendship beforehand; tho unlike Bakugo as i said in my last post I dont think it happens suddenly but rather slowly. Y'all know im a big fan of shigaraki being absolutely whipped for his s/o so i do thing hes a big piner, tho he's also pretty bold and unashamed of his affections. I'm a big fan of him falling for a member of the league or a civilian; definitely can't see him falling for a hero unless the hero was already halfway to turning sides already. I think he's also attracted to intelligence and someone who pushes him to think more abt his ideology...... maybe im just projecting at this point JSHDFBVAJKSHD but my point is that the gender of his partner is definitely the least of what he considers/notices

Dabi is bi and, here's my bold take, demisexual; not interested in sex unless its with someone he loves. Absolutely doesn't even think abt romance for most of the years where he's on his own. He's got revenge to plan. By the time he joins the league that hasn't changed much, and he's demi so he's not interested in sleeping around, plus he rlly denies any attachment to people at all. As I said in that other ask tho I do rlly like the idea of him with Magne, so I think they have a fling for a bit before her death :( it's one of the things that leads him to isolate himself further, unfortunately, even from Jin and the other League members with whom his relationships aren't romantic. I can see him dating someone post-canon bc i think hes gonna be redeemed lol. It could be someone he knew before but they probably didnt date again bc he was v guarded; i think magne was rlly the only person he dated

Magne is pan and heres the kicker: I think shes t4t, which led to a little moment just before she and dabi got together where he was like "she wouldnt be into me :/" but she was into him anyway so all was good. She got around in her circles, mostly casual stuff tho she yearned for something more serious.

Spinner's bi & trends towards women but does occasionally get things for men and they're almost always intense. He thought he was straight for a while even once he joined the league and then suddenly got a crush on Shigaraki (around the time of MVA) and realized otherwise LMFAO he's definitely a hopeless romantic type, the whole mutant prejudice thing makes it rlly hard for him and i can see him being rlly happy with another mutant-type; i feel like as he matures he starts to gravitate towards them

Toga is canonically pan to my understanding, iirc her interest in Uraraka and Deku is the same (and romantic) in canon tho i might be wrong. Poor girl just needs therapy. I like the idea of the two of them becoming her friends over her being involved with them but i totally can get behind her having a thing with Uraraka (and maybe Tsu) at some point post-canon (presuming she gets redeemed), tho I think a qpr between the two/three of them would be longer lasting. And again presuming she gets therapy i can see her settling down with someone, gender irrelevant

Jin is unlabelled bc he hasn't much thought abt it, definitely had a thing for dabi and for hawks which does make me sad on both counts. I think he likes women slightly more abstractly/aesthetically and gets crushes more on men,. The dabi thing fades as they get closer and start to view each other as brothers. In his later years he doesn't rlly care about romance, I think he enjoys the experience of crushing but doesnt like dating people; his found family in the League is far more important to him. But i can see him falling head-over-heels for someone quite suddenly and having a bit of a whirlwind romance. Also someone for whom gender isn't much of a factor

Mr Compress is also queer and also hasn't rlly thought abt it. Definitely leans more towards women; he's like 30 but i like to think he also goes for older partners, 10 or 15 years his senior KJBADSJFHB idk he just has that Vibe with the way he calls himself an old man etc. A lot of the league i cant see sleeping or dating around much, i feel like they prioritize each other, but I do think mr compress gets around more than the others. i can see him having a bit of a fuckbuddy who he catches feelings for

Kurogiri is fun; as Oboro I do think Aizawa's crush was reciprocated, tho he wasn't around long enough for them to act on it :( he's bi, tho kurogiri isn't supposed to have personal interests. I like to imagine the brainwashing isnt as good as AFO wants it to be tho so I like the idea of him falling for someone anyway. I also like the idea of the heroes managing to undo the nomufication and I 100% can see him, aizawa, and someone else (someone he was involved with as Kurogiri) ending up in a triad as a result of aizawa and the third partner helping him through the aftermath of all that shit

Lady Nagant is a manga-only minor character but im in love with her so imma talk abt it. Shes bi and leans VERY heavily towards women, probably spent years questioning whether she was rlly bi or a lesbian before finally having a fling with a guy that she genuinely enjoyed. Has only ever been in long-term relationships with women and I v much think she has a gf at home who stayed even when she was arrested 🥺

Finally imma talk abt Natsuo bc i love that boy. He's one of the few unmarried chars with a love interest and he canonically has a gf. I do see him as IDing straight in canon ngl, but the kind of straight where he might actually be bi but his preference leans so heavily towards women and he grew up in a bad home so he just doesnt rlly think abt it bc hes v happy with women anyway. In shiganatsu thoughts shigaraki is the first man he has a thing for; i rlly can see the two of them in a triad with a woman specifically, who helps the two of them find each other and is the one who initiates bc its definitely a weird situation for natsuo

#ask.🌧#anon #pattering on the roof #char.🌧 multi #again these r just the ones ive thought about so sorry if i didnt bother with any chars u care abt ajkhsfbgsjdhfb #thank yall for asking LMFAO any excuse to ramble abt this shit #it does impact the way i write these chars #obviously #bc this is meta more than anything else and so is fanfic lol

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