I know people are going to dislike me saying this and it's why I usually wouldn't and often go out of my way to not use the word but- Eggman has extremely obvious abusive behaviors. he has consistently been blatantly verbally, physically, and emotionally/mentally abusive in the games. and how often this is denied, downplayed, excused, or ignored while he's made out to be a great person makes me uncomfortable.

fans' idea that he's the one who was abused based on a line in a memo that doesn't actually state that at all (and just points to his arrogance, ego, and entitlement) and that he's "breaking the cycle of abuse in the family with Sage" even he didn't actually do anything with her at all is deeply uncomfortable. especially because he's only actually exhibited the exact opposite officially.

not to mention that I also find it uncomfortable how people seem to be really eager to assign a past of abuse to such an evil man, as I'd hate for yet another implication that being abused can turn you into someone so evil and how it's an overdone bad stereotype. also I just don't like to think of him being abused at all for any reason and I'm so glad they haven't actually implied it.

his behaviors don't and shouldn't have a justification or explanation to sympathize with and it's concerning to me that people really want it. it's hard not to speak on it. I understand people being uncomfortable with this aspect of his character but I don't think downplaying it in any way is the way to go about it if you are as it has many bad implications when framed that way.

I hope people can understand why I'm saying this and that I'm also just telling it as I see it

Tempted to ask you all of the 'choose violence' options. Gonna stick for 13 and 14 so you have an easier time

14. That one thing I see in fic... Firstly, Robin saying dingus all the time. I read a lot of Ronance and sometimes it feels like every piece of dialogue by Robin is like "hello dingus, you're looking very dingus today. How dingus are you on a scale from 1-10?" and I am not a fan. I think it can be good in minimal usage and only with Steve. And secondly, in Byler fics I see a lot of Byler getting Murray'd and it can be good but I kind of hate when he's really harsh about it like he was to Jopper and Jancy because I feel like it's a different sitch and it also risks outing them so generally I prefer it when he Murrays them separately.

13. Worst blorboification is easily B*lly for me. Trigger warning for racism and abuse from here on out. I'm censoring so it doesn't appear on search, partially to be nice but also because the last time I said this I got called a bigot...against B*lly stans? Please don't send me asks, I get finding the writing interesting or finding Dacre hot but you can analyse his character without excusing racism and abuse.

Anyways, with all that out of the way, I hate how people have turned him into some babygirl who's just a bit sad and forgetting the whole racism and abuse of it all. I think people massively miss the point of his character by excusing his actions because in my opinion, he was clearly meant to represent the cycle of abuse and how he'd become what he was scared of.

The end wasn't a redemption, it was him realising that he's become what he's scared of and trying to end the cycle once and for all, hence the whole vision with El beforehand. Not a redemption, not an excuse, just an explanation. You can have abusive parents and not abuse. You can have racist parents and not violently attack a black child because he hung out with your white sister. Not a babygirl or a misunderstood boy, he's an abusive bigot who was so horrible his child sister prayed for him to die and felt relieved when he did.

Thanks for the ask (in reference to this post)

SPOILERS FOR THE NEW SANDERS SIDES EPISODE!!!

I have reason to believe that the orange side isn't wrath like many of us have theorized. I think he may represent passion instead.

Now when I say passion I don't mean Thomas's passions since that role is Roman's. I mean the emotional drive definition of passion. Passion has been coming up more and more in recent episodes in addition to an increase in anger.

Anger is an emotion that stems from other emotions like fear, hurt, insecurity and passion. Now, while there have been outbursts of anger that have stemmed from all the emotions I listed above, quite a few of the angry outbursts lately have stemed from passion(you can skip these and still get the idea):

In learning new things about ourselves, the infamous paper ball incident started when Roman was saying that Logan was going overboard with ensuring that he was speaking clearly and Ro called his thoroughness stupid. Before that the two were arguing so emotions were already elevated and being called stupid was the final nail in the coffin. (Please note that I do not condone Logan reacting with violence in this situation. He did apologize and had an explanation, but that doesn't excuse the action) It is revealed later that Logan is that thorough to prevent distress due to misunderstanding and also to prevent Remus from using his words against him. Logan is passionate about being understood and being taken seriously (to quote, "I'M NOT A JOKE! At least I can't be seen as one.") Pretty much everything that happens this point in the episode directly contradicts these passions of his. After that last straw you can understand why Logan lashes out even if you don't think it was justified.

The entirety if Embarrassing Phases was Virgil was of expressing his anger with the other sides about reducing a large part of his life and identity as "just a phase" and also not being scared when he tries to scare them. It's obvious (to me at least) that Virgil is passionate about both staying true to your identity and also being able to do his job and scare the others (affectionately). I know I have fun occasionally scaring my family and friends so I wouldn't feel great if being scary was literally a part of my identity and my loved ones reduced it to a thing of the past.

Selfishness vs. Selflessness starts with a hello fresh promo, then Virgil walks in to give us anxiety as retaliation for Thomas dying his hair back to brown. We established that Virgil values staying true to yourself and he liked expressing himself using the purple hair.

In the same episode Virgil trys very hard to convince Thomas to send Deceit away. We don't know the history between Janus and Virgil (yet) but he was very passionate about removing Janus from the conversation.

In Selfish vs. Selflessness Redux, Thomas him is angry that he had to give up a major opportunity in an industry that he was passionate about.

In the newest episode at the 10:07 mark Patton says that "sometimes passion makes you act a little silly" and then it cuts to Logan thinking about that statement. Earlier in the episode Patton literally kicked a door open and made a video because Logan suggested donating Thomas's stuffed bear, Ben. I think this line was foreshadowing that the orange side, passion, is the one putting everyone on edge. But I guess we have to wait to see.

Idk if any of this made sense (I'm writing this at midnight so brain doesn't work the best)

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Wait am I just misremembering things or did Lily Sunder and Cas really barely interact in the ep where they resurrect Jack? Because it's like. Here's a man who helped in the murder of your daughter and now he's begging you to help bring back his son. LIKE. HELLO. That's super fucking compelling. I think it should have been Cas who made the "you know how it feels to lose a child; please don't make us lose him too" plea instead of Dean. I think the impact of that scene would be better (and also more convincing given. You know. Dean wanting to kill Jack for a good chunk of their intial relations lol).

The scene could go many ways. You can have an angry Lily, who rubs it in hard, the irony of their situation. How unfair it is that Cas has the chance to do what Lily failed to accomplish for decades.

You can have a more sympathetic Lily, who looks at the face of this worn and weary angel and sees someone completely different from the merciless soldier she met a long time ago.

You can have different combinations of these and more. I wish there were more fics exploring the dynamic between Lily and Cas. (If you have fic recs, PLEASE send them here.)

78 notes - Posted January 30, 2022

#4

One of the most annoying responses I see when discussing S9 Dean's toxic moments is "oh that's just the Mark which means dean is absolved of all moral responsibility for his actions" which is. Huh?????? That's such a boring and stupid response and it's kinda on par with the way some folks excuse everything that late-seasons Dean does by saying "oh that's just Chuck manipulating him, which means he totally can't be blamed for the things he did" which is also soooooooo.

Like. Okay. On the one hand I kinda get the impulse to go straight to a Doylist explanation and blame the writers for writing Dean in such egregious ways (because it's TRUE) but like. Personally I tend to find that boring after a while. This is my weaker argument.

My stronger argument is that by refusing to grapple with the events of canon by transferring the blame to some other external force (blaming the Mark/Chuck for the Watsonian, blaming the writers for the Doylist), the characters aren't really given justice

What I mean by this is that it leaves the characters in an awkward stalemate.

On Dean's part: "If there's a force external to me that I can blame (e.g. the Mark, Chuck) then I don't really need to grapple with the things I've done." This is harmful not just to himself but to the people around him, particularly his loved ones who are typically the ones affected by his actions.

This type of thinking actually hinders the characters' ability to properly deal with the events and possibly make amends. They have no mechanism for moving on other than sucking it up and brushing things under the rug.

Take, for example, Cas' internality in the face of all of these things that Dean did. It's natural for Cas to feel negative emotions in response to All Of That (e.g. anger, sadness, resentment, fear, etc). However, if it's true that Dean really isn't to blame for all of That, then Cas' emotions have nowhere to go. "Dean has tried to murder my son multiple times and I have plenty of Feelings about this but actually it's not his fault because he's been manipulated by God so now I just have to suck up all these emotions." LIKE. That is totally NOT healthy for your psyche, angel or not.

The characters end up not being capable of grappling with the consequences of things because agency and moral responsibility keeps being shifted into these external forces.

91 notes - Posted February 1, 2022

#3

I know that post-canon baby jack fics are usually written for fluff but EYE personally think they should be used for evil more often. I want a non-god, toddler jack who doesn't remember much of the very traumatic first three years of his life but still has some glaring triggers. Like. For example, toddler jack is EXTREMELY claustrophobic. Every time they enter a small and enclosed space, he immediately cries and starts clinging on dean and going "I'M SORRY I'M SORRY PLEASE DON'T LOCK ME UP" and both sam and dean feel their guts turning, knowing that they did that to jack. The only small and enclosed space that jack tolerates is the impala. Anyways. Society if more post-canon fics grappled with what sam and dean did to jack before giving us a "happily ever after".

91 notes - Posted January 28, 2022

#2

Hey folks welcome to another evil and fucked up fic concept from yours truly:

S13. Okay. Dean is still fucked up with grief, and the combination of fear, anger, and resentment he feels towards Jack is certainly not a good mix. Still, he prefers these latter emotions because at least they're actionable emotions. You can run away or fight that which you fear or resent, but what do you do to the rotting void of grief?

All these negative emotions eventually spiral into some form of paranoia, a constant stream of "What if he turns evil? What if he takes even more from me?" Over and over in his head.

Now. What if. While they're searching the bunker for resources to help them deal with Jack, Dean accidentally stumbles upon something in their storage: a metal crown and a set of spikes. A contraption that Crowley left behind—Naomi's tools.

In fear of Jack turning evil, Dean picks up Naomi's lobotomy contraptions so he can program Jack to "not be evil."

When Dean straps down Jack into the chair, he gives the kid his very first smile. "Don't worry, kid. I'll make sure you'll never lose your path."

When Cas is finally resurrected again, everything's fine and cool and happy. And then Jack goes "Oh yeah I have weekly tuning sessions with Dean." And Cas asks. What "tuning sessions." And he watches in horror as Jack puts on the crown that Naomi uses for the lobotomies.

Cas confronts Dean about this. They fight. Cas was about to leave with Jack. Dean panics; he orders Jack to hold Cas down and prevent him from escaping.

With Jack's help, Dean tearfully straps Cas down to the chair and puts the crown on him. "I'm sorry, Cas. But I can't lose you again."

Everything is fine and cool and normal. If Sam notices some odd behavior here and there, he tries not to think too hard about it. Besides, this is the first time that they had been this happy and peaceful for a length of time, why ruin it?

Eventually, however, Sam can't ignore things any longer. His suspicions eventually lead him into finding out what Dean's been doing this entire time.

Sam confronts Dean about it. They fight. When Sam was about to take Jack and Cas away from there, Dean utters a trigger word and makes Sam fall under his control.

It turns out that this isn't the first time that Sam found out what's happening, and that Dean has been repeatedly rewriting his memories this entire time.

At first, Dean just asked Jack to erase Sam's memories. This plan doesn't work long term because Sam either just rediscovers what happens or regains his memories. Dean then ordered Jack to gradually and discreetly feed Sam some grace and transform him into as close as an angel as possible so that the Naomi's tools would work on him as well.

This bit is from jay @casnation , thanks for this: Sam repeatedly wakes up and tries to get Cas and Jack out of there but they’re programmed to take him to Dean if he does this. Like, he could totally escape if he didn’t try to save them every time.

There will be a point where the brainwashing gets so severe that they basically lose their personalities in a way that even Dean cannot ignore anymore. And so he "reprograms their personalities back" based on Dean's perceptions of them.

Crucially there will also be a point where Dean realizes just how bad he's fucked up (ideally in conjunction with the realization that he's living with three husks with zero personality), but he's trapped himself into a corner. Because he KNOWS that the moment he undoes the programming, they would all run the fuck away from that bunker and leave him alone. And he would rather reprogram them ad infinitum rather than face the consequences of what he did.

Another incredible quote from jay: "Pygmalion carving himself not just a lover but a family."

More stuff below the cut (specifically how Mary reacts to All of This when she returns from the Apocalypse World):

Dean does NOT have the guts to lobotomize his own mother. He can stomach doing it to Sam and Cas because he's already pretty good at ignoring their autonomy. Which means that Dean has to employ more subtle methods of hiding things from Mary.

He can order Cas to reaasure Mary that "everything is fine." He can also order Jack to distract Mary by bonding with her.

Here's another bit courtesy of jay: "Mary notices something is up with Sam first and Dean just says “How would you know? I’ve know him his whole life, he’s fine, you’ve only been back a year!"

Another jay bit: "no thoughts just mary looking up and realizing the bunker is a clockwork recreation of her fantasy of married life with john with cas as her role. and she has no idea what to do"

I have no idea how to end this. We can go with the more horrific route where Mary never discovers what's truly going on and so they're all just trapped there, Pygmalion and the family he carved.

The other option is that Mary finds out. This has two potential outcomes: (1) Mary convinces Dean to undo the programming. They all run the fuck out of there and leave Dean alone to face what he did. Or, (2) In a desperate attempt to keep his family together, Dean orders Jack and Cas to hold Mary down and make her forget what she discovered. The story ends with Dean, tears in his eyes, putting metal spikes in his mother's skull.

(Also. I want y'all to know that there are more fucked up parts to this but those shall remain in the dark corners of our discord chats lol)

124 notes - Posted March 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hypothetical destiel pairings that are sooooooo important to me:

- stanford era dean and s15 divorce arc cas

Imagine Cas seeing a version of the love of his life that doesn't carry the amount of baggage he currently has. A version of his love that has not yet pointed a gun to his son.

- s4 cas and s13 widower arc dean

Imagine Dean seeing this version of Cas. He's so young! And he still haven't died a single death for you just yet. You look at this angel and think: you haven't fallen in all the ways that matter just yet.

- endverse cas and s15 divorce arc dean

Imagine Dean experiencing a whiplash when endverse Cas confronts him and says "in the worst ways, you're a lot similar to my Dean. Sometimes I think you're even worse."

- faith dean and emmanuel cas

You're dying. You're dying and your dad won't even answer the phone but here comes this man, this faith healer who looks you in the eye and says "you're not a machine, Dean." Who looks at you and sees someone worth saving, someone who you can barely see.

- post-rapture cas and mark of cain dean

"I serve Heaven, I don't serve Man. And I certainly don't serve you." Imagine a post-lobotomy Cas seeing his charge at his very lowest and seeing what he's told confirmed by his very eyes. That the Righteous Man is not who he thinks he is.

- s3 dean and post-swan song cas

You're going to hell. You're going to hell and you can't stop it but here comes this angel who has fallen for you, who rebelled against heaven for you. And you can't stop thinking whether or not you were born with this rot, with the curse to poison everything you touch. But the angel says "I would fall again a million times if it means I get to protect you from perdition."

125 notes - Posted January 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

About Felix's "Redemption Arc"

Firstly, I need to preface what I'm about to say on the subject with this; Felix could not be redeemed or condemned by the narrative without it sending mixed messages to the audience.

Felix has performed immoral actions, both when he was first introduced and now in season 5. I am not here to talk about whether or not he or anyone deserves forgiveness. I'm not here to take a stance on that.

I am here in the interest of understanding why he acts the way he does and why he narratively possesses the ability to improve himself.

There is a lot we don't yet know about Felix's upbringing, but I will present what I have noticed in his interactions. He has reacted quite poorly to being called a monster (and to the name-concept of sentimonsters), but has dolled out the term 'monster' quite liberally to describe people who are manipulative, abusive, or controlling.

During his conversations with Kagami, he casts his father as one such monster, likening himself to Kagami in that they both have had parental figures who failed to provide the necessary tools for growth parents owe their children.

These two things inform us that, during an impressionable point in Felix's life, he lacked the ability to exercise free will, and was not given proper coping tools by his father/creator.

With this in consideration, his complete and utter lack of empathy toward human beings is entirely unsurprising.

(Please put aside the exceptions to that rule, for now. I will expand.)

Here, I will get slightly personal for the sake of explaining the reason why his behavior, however unacceptable, was never coming from a place of maliciousness. (note: this is not an excuse for his actions, only an explanation.)

I did not grow up in a healthy environment, for a number of reasons that will not get into here. I felt trapped, controlled, and constantly manipulated. Nobody was able to help me develop healthy coping mechanisms for what was happening, nor offer their understanding.

As a result of being treated that way for so long, it took me being completely physically removed from the situation and a number of years of hard work on myself to finally see other people as sentient beings. In retrospect, I acted unacceptably in my desperation to be heard. I don't know if I will ever forgive myself, but I have made efforts to show my family that I will never do those things again and they have forgiven me regardless of whether or not I deserve that forgiveness.

All this to say; I genuinely did not understand that I was not the only sentient person struggling with this lack of essential coping skills. Until I began to realize otherwise, other people were effectively the same kind of 'monster' that Felix also seemed to believe others to be. Manipulative, controlling, and abusive for reasons that could not be fathomed.

Now, back to the important matter of a children's cartoon!

I find it interesting that the ladybug vision / lucky charm of the two most Felix-centric episodes of the current season has told us(and Ladybug) that Felix is worthy of trust because he has the ability and desire to change.

Here is what I mean.

When Ladybug called for her lucky charm and received nothing, she looked to Felix and trusted that he would stop the destructive behavior without her personal interference. She bet her life on it, and was proven correct to have done so.

To show us(the audience) that it was an intentional message, they immediately followed that up with the Kagami kidnapping/liberation episode. While it was the case that Kagami was part of the solution as well, Ladybug outright stated for us that it was time to trust Felix - and again we see this to be the correct choice. Felix helped to defeat the villain of the week.

Although Ladybug still expresses uncertainty about having allowed Felix to escape with the peacock miraculous, we get to see something she doesn't; Felix giving Kagami's family crest-ring(which represents her free will) back to her after she thought she had no choice but to relinquish it to her mother.

tldr;

We are being pretty explicitly told that Felix, while still having a lot to work through, is worthy of trust. It doesn't matter if he receives forgiveness from us or the characters he has hurt.

The moral narrative of Miraculous Ladybug isn't about taking a stance on who deserves to be saved or excused from their actions, it's about growing beyond what your trauma led you to become, making an active effort to improve yourself.

I loved what you wrote about student! college! aizawa,if it's not too much trouble,I would like to read a second part but it contains a sub!aizawa,dom!reader,mommy kink and pegging please. I have to take advantage of the fact that you are the first blog with dark content that I see that accepts pegging,an opportunity that I will not miss,but if it gets complicated for you oh you don't like it,you can reject my request.

DISCLAIMER: always ask for consent first!

warnings: DUBCON, sub!aizawa, edging, verbal abuse, bondage, pegging, gn!reader but light mommy kink is used in reference to, praise kink if you squint?, slightly unrealistic depictions of pegging, reader is fed up but that doesnt excuse their actions :P

word count: 3489

notes: sorry for the delay, i hope u like anon! :D there should always be more pegging fic out there

part 1 here

EXAM SEASON

Finals season is quickly approaching, sending the entire campus into a frenzy, students scrambling like displaced ants trying to finish last minute assignments, novel-esque essays, merciful extra credit projects. The workload takes its toll on everyone, even the star students. You found Aizawa in even worse moods more frequently; a schedule consisting of all nighters spent studying old material followed by early classes and a job on the side, he was absolutely exhausted. You sometimes sneak a peek over at him during class to see his head bobbing slightly, bloodshot eyes struggling to stay open as he fights sleep. A small part of you feels bad for him; he’s a diligent student, and you were sympathetic to his exhaustion.

You still hate the asshole, though.

You found yourself snagged in a twisted sort of arrangement with Aizawa after midterms. There was always a half-assed attempt at tutoring you before giving up and cramming his cock down your throat or deep inside your cunt, leaving you sore and dripping with his cum, all the while spewing insults targeted at your intelligence (or lack thereof). In exchange, he’d complete your assignments and allow you to copy his answers on exam days. Ignoring the situation is where you make peace with yourself; you feel used, but you also have no other option if you want to pass this class.

What you hate the most is the way you roll over and take it. You’re more than just a hole to fuck, you know that, but you’re helpless against his searing abuse and venomous scowls. Even when you try to be nice, it only makes him crueler, your soft pleas and offers of peace an invitation to tear you down and make you cry. You want to fight, to claw and tear into him out of spite. You don’t want to feel so weak anymore.

So, you decide to do something about it.

It’s late, campus illuminated by street lamps and headlights of cars passing by as you make your way into the dorms. After your first encounter, Aizawa began inviting you back to his room instead of the library, deciding to “study” in his personal space as opposed to possibly getting caught in the library with his cock down your throat. You didn’t complain, but it’s especially convenient today, with what you have planned. Knocking on the door softly, you worry your bottom lip between your teeth, anxious for what’s to come.

“Open,” he calls out from inside, prompting you to enter. You pass through the messy common room he shares with his roommate and enter his bedroom, opening the door quietly. Aizawa’s room is tidy compared to the outside, bed made, tousled only where he sits with his laptop, typing.

“You’re late,” he squints at you from behind the screen, shutting the device. “Not surprising.”

“Sorry,” you mutter, placing your book bag on the floor and taking out the very heavy law textbook (that you hadn’t bothered to open since midterms). You take your seat next to him and open to the most recent chapter you read over. He’s silent, only speaking to answer your questions as you focus on the text. You can tell he’s sleepy, his responses slurred and delayed, and you glance over to see him dozing off. Late study sessions and Aizawa’s recent exhaustion meant more often than not that he fell asleep before tormenting you. The first time was startling, but you learned that it was a regular occurrence. 

You prefer Aizawa when he’s drowsy. His usually hard features were softened, quiet snores rumbling from his chest. His dark hair messily framing his face as he leans back against the headboard of his bed, arms folded over his chest. He’s good-looking, no doubt. If his personality matched, you could see yourself falling for him.

His eyes open, shooting you a questioning look, and you duck your head back into your textbook, embarrassed at being caught staring.

You keep quiet for another 20 or so minutes, waiting until he’s truthfully asleep and not just resting. You have to be careful not to wake him, as you aren’t keen on being reprimanded for what you're about to do.

Once you’ve deemed it safe, you stealthily open your bag and retrieve the small plastic bag stored inside. With the help of online shopping, you bought some handcuffs, lube, a dildo, and a harness. You aren’t all into pegging, but this was less about the sex and more about proving yourself, forcing him to respect you, in some perverse way. You retrieve the cuffs, gripping them carefully as to not make any sounds. This is the most crucial part; as long as you could get him restrained, you’d could dish out any revenge you desire. You slip off of the bed and tip-toe, almost comically, around the other side of the bed. You test the waters, snapping your fingers near Aizawa. He doesn’t stir, chest rising and falling with his deep breathing.

You steel yourself with a deep breath; this was your chance. You make quick work with the handcuffs, gently yet hastily clicking the metal around one wrist and looping the cuffs through the headboard before securing his other wrist. A grin spreads across your face; you’re thankful he’s such a deep sleeper.

Now that you had him where you wanted him, you were paralyzed by the sheer amount of possibilities. You climb over him apprehensively, hovering over the unconscious man, who only shifts minutely. The peaceful look on his face puts a small pit in your stomach; this was wrong… right? Technically, this was assault. You frown, a small chill running down your spine. Is this what you had become? It was almost enough to convince you to stop, but you force yourself to remember the first time Aizawa had his way with you, the way you choked and gagged and had to hide your face until you could find a bathroom to wipe off the dried cum that adhered to your skin.

This was his fault; he made you like this.

“Fuck it,” you say aloud, bracing yourself before grabbing a handful of his hair and yanking, hard. He awakes with a surprised gasp, wrenching his head away from the assault.

“The fuck?” He bites, eyes drowsily scouring the situation. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Just waking you up,” you smile, releasing your grip. “It’s kind of boring watching you sleep. I thought we were supposed to be studying.”

Aizawa gives you an agitated look, disoriented as he tries to move, only to find his range of motion limited. “You fucking handcuffed me?”

“Yeah, I can’t believe you didn’t wake up,” you chuckle, sliding your hands under his shirt and running your hands over his taut stomach. He keeps his eyes on you with an expectant expression, waiting for an explanation.

“You know, I like you so much more when you're asleep,” you continue, idly tracing patterns on the skin of his abdomen. “No insults, no curses, no glaring. You’re pretty handsome when you’re not being a total douchebag.”

“Let me go,” he ignores you, yanking the handcuffs. “This isn’t funny.”

“I think it’s pretty funny, actually. You’ve spent all semester treating me like shit, and for what? All I’ve done is be nice to you, even after you call me names and abuse me. It hurts my feelings, you know? It’s not like I’m trying to fail this class, I just needed a little extra help, and you take advantage of that every week. So I do think this is pretty fucking hilarious. Maybe you’ll see just how great I feel when you bully me.”

If looks could kill, your heart would have stopped right then and there. Rage burns behind his glare when he meets your eyes, still struggling to break the cuffs. You’d never seen him like this; at his worst, he seems moderately annoyed in your day to day. Despite being an insufferable asshole, he always manages to keep a cool air about him. Never giving anyone much of a reaction, he’s only nasty when he desires. Watching his face take a red tint and his eyes narrow in frustration send waves of satisfaction rippling through your chest. 

“You don’t know what you’re doing,” he grits out, “If you let me go now, I’ll forget all about this. I promise that you don’t want what’s coming for you once I get out of these cuffs.”

He did have a point; you had no idea what you were doing. That wasn’t going to stop you, though.

“Aw, it’s not so fun now, isn’t it?” You coo at him in a demeaning tone, pouting dramatically. Your wandering hands slid to his crotch, where you could feel his length stirring curiously. You bark out a laugh.

Pulling down his sweats and boxers, your mouth waters at his hardening length. Normally, your stomach would drop at the sight in anticipation for physical abuse you were about to receive. But this? This was different; knowing that you’re the one in control is absolutely captivating. You take his cock in your hands, slowly working your hand up and down. He stays silent in defiance, steady in his glare in an attempt to intimidate you. It would work, usually, but with his hands bound there was nothing he could do to you. He’s betrayed by a pleased noise that slips from his throat.

“Don’t tell me you like this? You want to be taken advantage of, is that it?” you taunt, basking in his agitation as you speed your hand up, thumbing the pre gathering on the slit.

“Watch it,” is his only response, voice dangerously low. He keeps quiet, not willing to surrender to the reactions you’re trying to draw from him. It’s a challenge, if anything, and you weren’t going to back down..

He’s fully erect in no time- you’ve spent enough time as his cocksleeve to know exactly what he likes and responds to. His eyes fall shut as you squeeze tighter, hips canting up into your hand, chasing his own release. You keep it up until he gets a little louder, close to release, and you pull your hand away, watching his dick twitch helplessly.

“Fuck- why’d you stop?” he asks groggily, opening his eyes.

“You didn’t think that I was just going to let you cum that easily, did you? I thought you were supposed to be the smart one,” you shuffle off of the bed, smiling over your shoulder as you hook your thumbs in the band of your leggings. You make a show of sliding the material down over your ass, purposefully leaning over and arching your back. You hear a pleased growl from the bed, causing you to giggle as you pull your underwear down as well.

“You could still let me go,” he offers, giving you a once over as you climb back over him, “I could forget about this if you let me fuck you.”

“Nice try, but I’ll be the one doing the fucking tonight,” you grab your bag from the floor, retrieving the lube but leaving the dildo and harness obscured in the bag. You squeeze a generous amount onto your fingers, causing Aizawa to give you a puzzled look.

“You don’t need lube, you’re always so wet for me,” it’s more of a question than an observation, since your previous trysts never included anything but his spit and your own juices. You just give him a smile before nudging his thighs open with your own, trailing your hand slowly beneath his balls, settling in between his ass and your lubed fingers circle the muscle there. The look on his face is priceless, absolutely shocked at the prospect of you inside of him. He thrashes in protest but you’re steadfast, pinning his hips down with your other hand.

“You can’t be serious,” his voice is alarmed, almost erring on the side of anxious, “you’re dumber than I thought if you think you’re just going to get away with any of this shit.”

“And what are you gonna do about it?” you sing-song, using your dry hand to tug playfully on the cuffs, “You’re a little tied up at the moment.”

“I’m going to beat your cunt up when I get out of these,” it’s a threat, and you ignore the way your stomach flutters at the words, eyes trained on his as you push two fingers inside.

He grunts, his face scrunching up, almost cutely, at the burn of the stretch. You expected him to be tight, but given how tense he is, it’s difficult to push all the way inside. You take it slow, savoring the pained expression on his face; it’s a stark contrast to his cocky demeanor when you’re being subjugated to his abuse. His chest is heaving, a lovely red flush spreading across his skin, eyebrows knit tight, lips bitten red- you’re obsessed. You move your fingers in and out slowly, scissoring just gently enough not to seriously hurt him, but enough to watch him writhe. His dick twitches despite (or maybe due to?) the pain, still red and dripping.

“This is priceless,” you laugh, “if you wanted to get fucked so badly, all you had to do was ask, you know? Mommy would’ve taken care of it for you.”

“Mommy?” he scoffs, rolling his eyes, “you’re insane.”

Any further insult is cut off with a sharp gasp, eyes shooting open in shock, and you know you’ve found it.

You stroke his prostate with a heavy hand, grinding your fingers into the spongy spot inside of him as he struggles to breathe, back arching deliciously. You can’t help but smirk; you kind of get it now. If this is how tormenting you makes Aizawa feel, then you understand why he was so cruel.

“Fuck,” he chokes on a whine that sends heat down your spine, . Your wrist is beginning to strain, but you can’t bring yourself to care. It’s cute; he’s writhing, his hips seeking the stimulation he was previously avoiding as he moans openly, loudly. His cock is an angry purple, pre pooling on his stomach from where it’s leaking. He looks like he’s close, eyes beginning to roll back when you pull your fingers out, laughing as you ruin his orgasm for the second time.

“Please,” he’s breathless, a betrayed look on his face as his hips rock on nothing, desperate to cum.

“Begging already? We haven’t even gotten started yet!”

You reach over into the plastic bag, pulling out the dildo and harness. You can clearly see the fear on his face this time as he moves to sit up, the fog of pleasure clearing quickly.

“Wait,” panic sets in his voice yet again. If you were him, you would be scared too; the toy is thicker than the two fingers you used, something you chose purposefully. You stand and slip on the harness, ignoring his attempts to reason with you.

“What’s wrong? I thought I didn’t know what I was doing?” you ask innocently, forcing your hips between his legs and drizzling some lube on the toy, warming it up with your palm.

“That’s the fucking problem, you idiot, you don’t,” he seethes, pulling on the restraints again, “It won’t fit, and you’re not sending me to the hospital.”

“Exactly, I won’t send you to the hospital. Mommy’s gonna take good care of you,” you coo, settling between his legs.

“Just let me go,” it’s the first genuine plea you’ve heard from him, the sincerity pulling your attention to his eyes where you see a look you can’t quite place. He looks… afraid? Remorseful? It’s enough to give you pause, equal parts consideration and schadenfreude. You settle for leaning forward and placing an uncharacteristically saccharine kiss on his forehead, your humanity getting the best of you.

“All you have to do is relax, okay?” you whisper, resting the tip of the toy against his entrance. He shuts his eyes in anticipation, resigned to his fate, and you push in gently, watching his hole swallow the silicone. The way Aizawa contorts, back bowed to scoot away from the pressure of the toy is salacious, drawing a moan from deep within your chest. He can’t get far due to the restraints, and he lets out a soft sob at the stretch of the toy, face scrunched tight. You push slowly until you bottom out, your hips pressed firmly against his, grinding in small circles to alleviate your own ache. He exhales shakily, unaware that he was holding his breath.

“See, it’s not so bad right?” you soothe, rubbing your thumb against his hip soothingly. “You should be grateful; I’m so much nicer than you are.”

“Fuck you,” it comes out weaker than intended, his voice strained as he tries to adjust to the girth of the toy. 

You pull out slowly, experimentally, watching his stomach clench from the sensation of silicone caressing his insides. His dick gives an interested twitch, despite his demeanor, and that’s the invitation you need to start moving. It’s a little awkward at first, but your enthusiasm combined with the size of the toy more than makes up for your inexperience. He’s breathless, still uncomfortable, but you can see his body slowly relax as he tries to make sense of the sensations coursing through his body.

“You like this, don’t you?” you dig, eyes transfixed on his face, “Is that why you're so mean to me? You strut around like an asshole, just to hide the fact that you’re just a little bitch?”

You focus on angling your hips, searching for his prostate again, and when you find it, you commit to fucking him. He’s loud, stray tears sliding down his face as his body struggles to comprehend both the pain of the stretch and pleasure of the abuse.

“Fuck, you’re cute like this,” you sigh, “you’re meant for this, aren’t you? Meant to get your ass bred by your Mommy? You’d be so much more tolerable if you were sweet like this all of the time.”

His dick jerks violently but he shakes his head with a weak ‘no’, too lost in the sensation to retort any further. You’re soaked by now, the pressure of the toy on your end combined with the power trip pushing you to the edge. It takes all of your self-control, but you suddenly stop, unwilling to let yourself finish so quickly; there’s still unfinished business here.

“Tell me I’m pretty,” it comes out before you can even really think about it, but the words hang heavily in the air.

“Huh?”

“You’re never nice to me, so if you want me to even consider letting you cum, you better start kissing up.”

He hesitates, but when you shift slightly and the blunt head of the toy rubs against his prostate, he changes his tune very quickly.

“Fuck- you’re cute, ‘s the reason why I’m mean to you. So cute when you’re about to cry-” you give him a particularly hard slap on his ass and he winces, muttering a quick apology.

“You’re pretty even when I’m not fucking you, too,” is all you get, but it’s the first genuine compliment you’ve gotten out of the asshole since you’ve met him, and your heart soars. He’s awful and mean and evil but the simple statement is enough for you.

“I’ll let you cum if you beg for it,” you grunt, rutting your hips enthusiastically. You’re close, but you refuse to finish first. He’s needy, thanks to being edged twice, and he’s unable to resist your promise.

“Please, fuck, please let me cum,” he whimpers, voice wet and eyes watery.

“Please what?”

“Mommy! Fuck, please mommy, just let me cum, it hurts, fuck, please,” he babbles, and it’s enough for you. You wrap your hand around his cock and stroke it firmly, hips speeding up as you chase your own release. It’s quick- he finishes almost embarrassingly fast, and the whorish wail that rips from his throat sends you right over the edge, your vision blurring at the corners as you stay trained on his face, obscene and submissive.

It’s quiet after you stop, both of you catching your breath. You pull out slowly, watching the way his hole flutters and you giggle, your body and ego fully satiated. You look back to his face; he looks more fucked out than you’ve ever seen him, almost like he’s about to fall back asleep.

“Can we call it a truce?” You break the silence, grinning as he cracks open an eye to give you a scalding look.

“Fuck. You.”

Heartslabyul Kabedon Headcanons

Fem!Reader SO x Heartslabyul

「Requested by: Anon」

Ace ♥️

・You know this boy is a mess. He's always in a rush, not necessarily because of school but to make disaster along Deuce and you; the trouble trio. And finding a way to avoid punishments. That's exactly what's getting on your way for this plan.

・You have tried many, really, many times to do it and each one of them you fail or fall or get caught by Deuce. You must make Ace being quiet and that's an impossible task; until today when he was feeding the flamingoes alone.

・You jumped into him on his way back to the dorm building, clinging onto his tired back, falling over him and pinning him down to the floor. Yeah, you caught him into the less conventional way, somehow the angle you chose was perfect to make him unable to move —almost.

・He could swear he heard the flash of a camera between the sound of your laugh. As you made fun of him, he spotted a weak point in your position and used it to turn positions, holding you against the floor as you stopped laughing to realise he won this round.

・"C'mon, sweetie, keep on laughing", he mocked with a cocky smirk, though you could keep on laughing just by the sight of his pink clothes, you pouted. You started complaining about how hard was to catch him off guard and alone just to fail, not just that, to be humiliated by him!

・Successfully, you made him feel guilty. Even so, he wouldn't move, he will just keep you there and apologise –unfortunately for you, he knew very well how your mind worked and he knew you were not really sad. So, Ace assure it would be very easy for him to catch you off guard now that he used your own move against you.

・He can be a bitch when he wants to, that's why you asked Deuce to send you the pic he took of Ace on his pink clothes with you. Every single time he tries to pin you into a wall, you show him the evidence and blackmail him with that. You'll post it on Magicam if he dare to do that again.

Deuce ♠️

・You expected him to be shy, flushed, quiet, speechless; to get red as a tomato as you mischievously giggled at him and talked about your intentions with a teasing tone even though these were completely innocent. Oh, how wrong you got it! You did it with your best intention, unintentionally awakening his badass mood.

・You didn't even got the chance to make his back touch the wall, you had barely gripped his hands when he escaped from your touch, held your waist and pulled you against his chest, turning around to slam his free arm into the wall. The shocked one were you.

・Well, that doesn't mean he weren't surprised. In fact, he blushed when he realised it was you who tried to attack him from behind. Deucey is not a rough or teasing person, but the way you reacted to your own trick was too much for him, you looked so cute and defenseless. The mischievous was him, smirking at you after the impression.

・His payback was sweeter than you could have imagined, a torture though: thickles. Yeah, he pressed you against the wall and started moving his fingers on your sides ans your stomach, sometimes messing with your neck, but never letting you take a break. Laughter after laughter until some small tears fell from your eyes, he stopped to hug you.

・"Make some noise next time, just your steps or something like that. I don't want to hurt you with my defensive reflexes", he says with soft voice, lending you a handkerchief to dry your eyes and clean your sweat. It was so romantic, you were surprised he was one of those guys. Don't get fooled by his kindness, you still owe him an explanation.

・That's exactly what you do, explain. Yes, some way because you wanted him to know what was the original plan on surprising him all of a sudden. Also, there was the fact that he was not letting you go until he knew the reason why he almost hurted his SO.

・Rest assure. He will keep in mind what you have done today. He's not the kind of person who seeks for revenge, he is actually the kind of person who enjoys learning from others and helping others learn from him. And now, my dear, you are going to learn why is bad teasing on Deuce's bad guy side.

Cater ♦️

・Nice moment you chose to take your phone out for a selfie, Diamond! Your movements were perfect, silent, extremely well planned to be ruined by his phone camera! But, of course, you didn't realise about it and that's why things ended up like this...

・How? You may ask. Well, you're sitting over one of the Light Music Club's stools, leaning your back against the wall as your lover's arms lay at each side of your head, hands on the surface behind you. A huge, pleased smile on his face staring at your blushed self, holding his phone on one of his hands.

・"My, my! How daring of you! Jumping into me from behind~", he laughs melodically, winking at you as cheerful as always. His method for making you talk is just asking. Yeah, easy, right? And you bend. He's just so lovely.

・You confess to him that you waited patiently behind the door until Lilia and Kalim left to surprise you. He has been so busy to visit you, so it was time for you to come to him. He just laughs and agrees with you, it was a nice movement he will definitely keep in mind.

・But you are both cheerful and playful with each other, pranks are never missing in this relationship and this moment deserves its own reminder. The photo he took when you were about to jump into him —let's just say it wasn't your best angle. And it was indeed his payback.

・Ace and Deuce will make fun of you for a long, long time thanks to Cay's post. Specially since he catches your body against the wall every single time you visit his dorm... Without failing.

Trey ♣️

・You over thought about attempting it, there wasn't a chance you could catch him, at least not without a sense of silence and discretion. Your lover was a clever and wary man, every movement must be precise and flawless —in fact, they were. Until you stumbled.

・There wouldn't have been any trouble, unless you have chosen the worst possible location: the kitchen. So, maybe your fall could have been stopped by the imminent weight of Trey's body on the wall helping you to trap him perfectly between your arms but now, he was holding you since you tried to pin him into the kitchen's bar. You felt even smaller.

・"Are you all right?", he will ask with concern. Your affirmative answer relieves him, slowly letting you go until he realise you are not supposed to be in his dorm, or in the kitchen. His grip around you strengthen as he "gently" ask what brought you there; he knows you as well as you know him, there's no way you could lie to get out of this. He discovered immediately you were planning something.

・The interrogation was not completely necessary, Trey's eyes had that power of persuasion which made you speak immediately. Yes, you could try resisting but it would not be a very smart alternative; so, when he took his glasses away and placed them behind you, there was nothing to do on it. You started explaining the situation, giving him and advantage since now you were the one between his arms.

・Oh, no. You are being pressed against the fridge door now without any option than looking back at him, that was a dirty move of him, wasn't it ? He has now another good reason for scolding you, not only the place but the true intention behind your deeds. With a deep breath and severe voice, he asks for an excuse for not applying any punishment on you.

・You beg to him not to forbid you of entering to that room of the Dorm, he knows how much you love baking with him on your free time, or helping him with the food for Unbirthday Parties. He could not be so evil with you, less when you use that puppy eyes of yours, a weakness he have always had on you.

・He seems to forgive you, becoming insistent about giving you a farewell kiss. It's not like him to be that insistent on affectionate greetings but you give in... Just to get an awful, still hilarious surprise: he used his Doodle Suit on you to change the taste of the kiss into the food you hate the most. Sweet revenge.

Riddle ♔

・His immediate reaction would be flushing. An intense crimson staining his face as he was looking for an answer inside his memory, searching over the 810 Rules of the Queen of Hearts in vain since none of them stated how to react when your lover trapped you over a wall.

・To be honest, you though you have broken him. He just stared into the void as you blushed in front of him, retracting your arms to set him free. Did you scare him that much with your sudden action? Well, not really since he held your arms before you could separate from him. A smirk slowly appearing on his face.

・You didn't even realise when he made you give an elegant turn so now you were at his mercy. Still, the blush remained on his skin as he found your actions lovely, but now he was delighted with your confused expression as your move resulted against you.

・He lifted his head, watching from above, leaning over you dangerously near to your lips, passing off them to whisper in your ear. "Where you trying to misbehave, my beloved rose?", he ask with a teasing tone as he pronounced your nickname. "You know my beliefs about breaking the rules", he continues, placing his finger under your chin and his hand behind your back to make you straighten and avoiding you looking away.

・For a second, just a second, you are truly intimidated. He's always a gentleman, though he loves games and that was the reason why you did this in first place —you're aware that he was teasing you. From one second to another, you giggled and your eyes softened, throwing your arms into his neck, burying your face into his coat to silence your laughter.

・Well, you knew he had been busy and worried so you tried to surprise him. In the end, you made him get a bit relaxed, he followed your game as you tried to turn places, he kept refusing to let you go. The fun of the moment relied on how you managed to make him laugh.

・"It's off with your head, darling", he laughs in a mischievous tone, caressing your cheek before walking away. Oh, no, he was planning his payback. Yes, he would never "chop" off your head, as a couple, that sentence was part of your intimate code and you knew that meant... You had to be careful and watch your back. Riddle will pin you into the wall when you less expected so and he won't be "gentle".

Thousand Light Years

Aone trusts his mother more than anyone, but does he love her more than you.

Aone’s father was rarely present in his life. His mother taught him everything, how to ride a bike, how to be gentle despite his size. No matter how gentle Aone was, he never seemed to get a romantic interest. Sure, he liked girls but he never found one that liked him back. Due to this, Aone built a heavy bond with this mother, she was always there for him, she never judged him. Deemed a momma’s boy, Aone would always value his mothers opinions. The first time Aone talked about her, his mother got worried. She didn’t want her baby boy to get hurt again. “ Takanobu, how is volleyball going?”, she desperately tried to change the subject. The second time she was brought up, Aone asked his mother what type of flowers girls liked. “Now he wants to get her flowers?” his mother thought. “ I have to go to the store, baby, make sure you eat ok?”, after a chaste kiss on the cheek, she bolted out the door. Aone wasn’t dumb but he surely was confused as to why his mother has been doging his questions lately. “ Maybe she wants to meet her. '' Futakuchi comforted his tall friend. Aone gave a chaste grunt and continued to eat. “Maybe she’s jealous Aone-san!” Koganegawa said with too much emotion. Everyone's eyes darted to him as he continued voicing his opinion. “ My mom is pretty jealous too! I remember in junior high, this girl liked me so I took her to come meet my mom. She was so dry and out of it. Figure, your mom might be like that too.” Kogane went back to munching on his lunch, as if he just didn’t provide Aone with the explanation to his problem. “Look, I know you really want your mom to know her but take yourself into consideration man. It won’t end well if they meet, don’t lose this chance” Keiji barely said before the lunch bell rang. (Y/N) had the habit of sending notes to Aone in the middle of class. She figured since he didn’t like talking, maybe he liked writing. “ What’s wrong nobu-san?” the small note read. Oh how he wanted to tell her everything. In the small time they got to know each other, she became a safe place for him. Almost like his mother. The day went by fast, as Aone’s thoughts consumed him. Surely his mother had to accept the girl that was making his son’s heart flutter. “ Get you head out of it” Aone’s thoughts were broken as Futakuchi sat next to him on the train. “ I have a plan so I’m going over to yours, is that ok?” A simple nod is all he received. “ I want to see how your mom reacts, I’ve known her for two years, sure she’s quite like you but she doesn't seem like the jealous type. I’ll slowly bring up (Y/N) and see how it goes. I just want to see you happy man”. Aone felt grateful for the wonderful friends he had. He was alone most of his life, and now he has friends helping him and his romantic dilemmas.

Aone’s house is a quick walk from the train station, the boys were easily at Aone’s front porch within a couple minutes. “ Hello Mrs.Aone!” Futakuchi saif cheerfully, thinking of how to initiate his plan. “ Hello Keiji-kun, will you stay to eat?”...” With your food? Always”. Three plates later, Futakuchi slumped in his chair. “ Ah, everything I come over I eat like a starved man.” he stated, patting his tummy. “ I’ll pack some for your mother too. I’ll be back” After she walked out, the plan commenced. “ Ok Aone, I’m going to make a fake phone call to (Y/N), I don't know, I’ll add something related to Christmas. I’ll make it sound like she really cares for you, then your mom would be ok with it right?” Keiji said excitedly. Aone’s head slanted like a confused bear. “ To be fair, I said I had a plan, never said it was a good plan.” Aone’s mother’s footsteps could be heard walking back to the dining room. He quickly dialed (Y/N) to commence the plan. “Hello?” you answered, confused as to why Futakuchi would call you. “ Oh hey! Yea, I think he would definitely Like that '' Futakuchi said out loud, making sure Aone’s mother could hear. “Hmm, Aone always liked turtles, maybe something of that sort” Futakuchi’s loud voice made Aone;s blush deepen. “ Futakuchi-san, what are you talking about?” You were not even more confused. You knew he knew about your crush on his best friend but he didn’t think he would outwardly call you about it, though it did help since you were planning to confess to him on Christmas day. “ Keiji-kun, its rude to speak on the phone while you're in the table” Aone’s eyes shot up to his mother. She never commented on someone else's actions, especially when she talks on the phone in the table too. “ Sorry, ‘I’ll call you later (Y/N)’ Again, sorry for being rude Mrs.Aone, I think its best for me to leave, thank you for the food” Futakuchi power walked to the door, giving a signal to Aone that he’ll text him later.

“ Yea, you’re mom is definitely jealous” The notification pulled up on Aone’s phone. “ She never comments on my actions :('' a second message came in. Determined to fix the issue, Aone made his way to his mother’s room. “Hi baby, what’s up” his mother looked up from her book. “Why are you acting weird” he bluntly stated. “ I have no ide-”...” The first time I have a girl that likes me back, you act all different. I thought you would be happy for me.” Aone said with a monotone voice. “ Takanobu, baby, you wouldn;t understand. What she feels for you is temporary. Don’t you remember what Sayu made you feel? She liked you for one week and left you. What makes you think that (Y/N) won’t do the same? They all just want to hurt you, like your dad hurt me” He saw his mother spit every word out. He knew his after leaving caused a heavy impact on her. He became the man of the house, a pillar for his mother to lean on. He could never leave his mother. What if she had a point? What if you temporarily liked him? Why would he leave his mothers side to be with someone who would love him for one day? He kneeled down by his mother, tears threatening to spill out. “ Takanobu, look at me. You can;t continue to like her. She will never love you like I do” Her words opened the gates to his tears. She held her son once again, despite his large size, he would always be her little boy.

Everyone noticed how Aone seemed to ignore you in school. You couldn’t say he stopped talking to you, the only form of communication the both of you had was through small notes. You naive mind tried to find excuses. “ What if he is trying to play hard to get, it’ll make the confession much more worth it now. Wait. isn;t tomorrow Christmas?!” Taking out a small note, you quickly wrote. Passing it to Aone’s seatmate. Aone opened the small note, wanting to not even read it, remembering his mothers words. “Please meet me by the Christmas Tree outside the school gate around sun down tomorrow!” Aone crumbled the small letter in his palm and placed it in his pocket. Tomorrow he would tell you how he felt. Tomorrow finally came, you put on a beautiful christmas dress. It was a deep blue, complementing Aone’s name and white hair. You grabbed the neatly wrapped present and made your way to the school gates. The sun was setting way faster than you expected, the street lights were coming on as you saw Aone from a distance, sitting on the bench near the highly decorated tree. “Aone-san!” you quietly yell as you power walk to him. His eyes stayed fixated on the tree, not wanting to look at you. Sitting down next to him, you pushed the present towards him. “No thank you” is all he said. Turning his face to you, you saw his tear stained face. “ I always dreamed of finding a soulmate. Getting excited to see a single person is all I ever wanted. I thought it was you too, but you’re just like the rest.” Aone softly said. His words were like baldes to your heart. “What?” your voice cracked. “ My mother always knows what is right, I loved you (Y/N), I really did, but I trust her more than you. Looking at the stars, I remembered you and I asked if there was anyone for me, perhaps in another galaxy far from here. I will keep looking for a thousand light years”. Aone simply stood up and walked away. The cold wind comforted you, the dim lights made the tears streaming down your face look like shooting stars. With shaking hands, you opened the gift. Pulling out the small turtle ceramic, you smashed it on the floor, revealing a turtle keychain with the small words “Be Mine?”

Summary: The so-called chemistry between you two is superbly deadly, so why not take it to the next level?

Pairings: Testurou Kuroo x fem!reader

Word count: 5.3k

Tags, Genre: fake lovers! trope, slight angst

A/N: 🤺 stay back🤺feelings🤺

Maybe you should've disagreed on the 10th time or maybe the 8th or 11th?

Honestly, there was no stopping the couple of the year.

"She didn't really say yes at first but with a little push of love she finally did." Kuroo comments, a drink in hand as you smiled against his side, with his arm around you.

"Please, I didn't need a push. I was too in love with the dumbass to say no." Your relatives practically awe at your comment while Kuroo kisses the top of your head, as you smile to sell the deal.

"What are you guys planning on after you graduate? I hope you two continue to stay like this." One of your relatives says as you both recall the plan.

"Moving in doesn't sound so bad, right babe?" He asks you while you sip your drink, feeling his hand slide down to your waist while they cheer at his dialogue.

"I wish young love looked like this when I had it!"

"Y/N is so lucky!"

"Tetsu is the best man for Y/N!"

Sighing with pain to your gums, you spoke.

"Excuse me, I'm just going to refill my drink. Coming babe?"

"Of course, bub." He says before excusing himself as well, while he walks away, his hand loses contact with your waist knowing there wasn't a sight of anyone else in the kitchen apart from you and him.

And cut.

"I thought our fourth line was that we would take things slow—what you said was literally our fifth line, Tetsu. It's too early." You say as you actually refilled your cup as Kuroo sighs but he smiles, leaning on the wall looking at you.

"Well might as well go all out, I'm not an actor for nothing, babe." You sigh as you drank as Kuroo pats your hair, after a sip, you let out a chuckle.

"Actually, their reactions were everything." You say as Kuroo smiles before setting down the cup on the table.

"Did you see your grandmother? She's going to beg you to wear her wedding dress now." He jokes while you shake your head, denying the offer.

You introduced your relatives to him last year, he was thankful that you trusted him this well to get this far in your family. You hated how they fell into this little trap of yours but it was still entertaining to see them act like this, even if guilt trailed alongside it.

"Seriously, do we go over line 5 now?" You asked with a slight smirk as Kuroo intertwined his hands with yours, with the other ready to open the door.

"We'll see how our audience reacts first, babe."

-

"You did not— you guys are taking this too far. How are you feeling?" Yaku asks through the phone as you bit down on your finger as you tried to come up with another excuse to why you keep allowing yourself in this position.

"I'm fine Yaku seriously! Me and Kuroo are staying at this hotel because of the whole family event earlier." You ran a hand through your hair, feeling the stress set in that you were actually sleeping in the same room as him.

This faux relationship has never led to this point. Kuroo has asked you for permission in case he were to kiss your cheek, hand, or forehead and you allowed yourself every time because this is what you got yourself into in the first place.

You agreed because it didn't bring your heart leaps of excitement—not even a sight of a butterfly in your system.

No matter how many times he's held your hand or planted a kiss on your temple, it didn't feel like Cupids touch— the arrows of love purposely hitting you in the wrong places. You initially thought that it was actually risky, to find yourself falling sooner than expected but a year into this 'relationship' you actually enjoyed the experience without having your heart miss a beat because of it all.

Your bond with Kuroo can only be described by the words bickering and platonic. Because of the way you interact with each other and how you constantly visit each others places, everyone could see where this friendship could end up so you took this advantage just for people to avoid the both of you which turns out to be the opposite, now everyone wanted to dig themselves in the news that you actually got together.

"Y/N- Kuroo please explain your work here on the table." You had your experiment carefully in your hands as Kuroo guides you to the table as you went on with your explanation. The teacher was well impressed with the two of you with how prepared you are, you can thank Kuroo for that and your ability to act like you've got your shit together.

"This is why we-" You two said it in sync making the two of you stare at each other as Kuroo chuckles continuing the explanation while you were left to stay silent with the glares from the girls who admired him—and the boys who liked you sent their threats to Kuroo just by glancing at him.

"Thank you, good job you two. I see that chemistry suits the both of you." Your teacher comments and as you walked away you rolled your eyes, disgusted at the corny joke.

"It's working too well actually."

Someone shut him up. You think as you felt the urge to give him a punch to shoulder. Kuroo was dragging more attention to the two of you and you hated it. You knew they were all jokes from your classmates but Kuroo kept feeding and responding to these claims, now you were the center of curiosity.

"Tetsu, I will shove a foot down your throat." You threatened when you were back to your chairs he shrugged making you more irritated.

"It shut them up didn't they? Let's fake it instead." He suggests, now making you slap his arm but his smirk remained on his lips.

"Dumbass, we'd be surrounded with questions and attention- I hate this idea already."

"What about the free couple food and drinks at the mall? You don't wanna experience that?"

"You are not using that card on me, Tetsurou." You said pouting as your chemistry teacher sends a suspicious eye to the both of you, also signalling for you two to stay quiet.

"I know you and you know me well enough that this isn't gonna lead into an actual relationship plus my dad has been bugging me about a girlfriend for weeks." You sigh as Kuroo extends his hand to you, to finalize this outrageous deal.

Looking at where you are now, you wouldn't have it any other way even if it was odd to fake date your best friend. You wouldn't agree if you didn't trust Kuroo to an extent. He would never do anything that makes you uncomfortable, he dragged you into this so he was always careful with his actions. It was always your feelings before his even if his jokes didn't show it.

Kuroo enters the room with a yawn just as you ended the call with Yaku. You patted the space next to you as he plops down on the bed, his head on your lap as you ran your hair through his dark locks.

"Is my boyfriend exhausted from the attention?" You asked him with a giggle as he closes his eyes, in a trance at your fingers doing him magic as you continued.

"Isn't that the girlfriends job to comfort me?" He says, making you smile. There really wasn't any meaning to his words, you were glad that the two of you were sure that everything is a joke. If not, then maybe you two are absolutely fucked.

"Is it okay for you to sleep here? I can always drive us home if you want." You shake your head no as you leaned your back in the soft pillow, relaxing a bit.

" 'S fine, Tetsu. Looks like we're gonna have to sleep here for a while huh?" He sighs before sitting up and leaning on a pillow as well before planting his head on your shoulder, his hand comfortably resting on your knee. It was a habit he had whenever he comforted you in your sorrow but it grew when he does it under the table when you sat next to each other.

Kuroo denies that he's doing this because he just wants to feel close to you. He may be in a sea of people but if he holds onto you, he forgets them in a second. There's always a possibility for him to feel lonely in a crowd but this feeling washes away when he has a chance to feel you around him.

"Tell me if somethings wrong yeah?" He says softly as you nod and he leans to your body more, feeling drowsy at the warmth you gave.

"I do find you annoying, that's a problem right there." You joke as he rolls his eyes and pulling away from you and transferring to the right side of the bed.

"Good night then." He says stubbornly, covering his ears with the pillow while you laugh before going to the right side and drowning in the blankets.

"Night, Kuroo." You bid him as you turn off the lights.

-

The next morning you really wished you didn't give in to him.

Tangled in each others arms, the blankets scattered everywhere as Kuroo was snuggled into your neck when you woke up. It's difficult to move without worrying about him waking up, so you had to move little by little. First, you slowly remove his arm that was on your waist. Second, you tried to rest his head on the pillow instead of you. Third, you scurry away from him successfully.

All of these were disregarded when he pulls you back into his arms, mumbling something while you mentally groan. Kuroos fingers continued to gaze itself on your skin while you sighed, accepting it as it is.

"Tetsu-"

"Five minutes." He whispers not minding the state he's in. He moves away from you when he realizes the sleepiness in him has faded. He stretches, making you stand up and fix your appreance. He sits up after a few seconds and you turn to look at him and his bed hair which never fails to make you laugh.

"I don't allow bullying this early." He says as he throws on a proper shirt. You decided to fix the bed while he brushes his teeth.

"Tonight's the party right?" You asked him as he nods before spitting out the residue of the toothpaste. You went through your bag plotting out the outfits you could wear later. The event was a wedding week of your relatives and it was also an opportunity to set out your weekly episode of a relationship.

It's currently Saturday and the wedding is tomorrow. Tonight was basically a party for both sides of the family. One for the bride and one for the groom. You gave Kuroo a fair warning about their traits when they were drunk but you guys are third years—you've seen how people acted when they were intoxicated.

"Should we just drop line 6?" He jokes, making you throw a pillow directly to his face.

Let's do a role call on these lines.

Line 1 was the backstory of your lovestory. Silly as it may come to others, all these excellent lies were planned beforehand. Each and every one of them. To the date where you confessed, to the exact details on each memory, to the date you officially started dating and of course it included the story that Kuroo has told one too many times already, like a script he remembers with no trace of mistake.

Line 2 were the filler memories. Random come ups of dates and embarrassing stories to grab their attentions in each gathering. Though, this line is the most truthful then the rest. Some of these stories are actually true to life but those that are too romantically disgusting? You can thank your imaginations for that.

Line 3 is the talk of seriousness. Love has actually blossomed by then. It consisted of stories of who said "I love you" first and who actually fell first in the relationship. Mentions of what moment made them realize how in love you were and precious memories that could make everyone long for a companion like yours.

Line 4 is fake maturity at its finest. Why not look like the perfect couple there is to exist? This was sort of a pit stop in your 'relationship'. This is where Kuroo narrows down the pace of you two by throwing some lines like "We're too young to decide for something that big." And "We never know what happens in the future."

Line 5 is moving in with each other. God, you even looked for proper apartments just so you don't mess up a question. You were graduating after all so it was inescapable to talk about your upcoming plans together.

Line 6 shouldn't be used. That's talks of marriage and god— adulting. You two inserted this line as a mere joke knowing once you've gone through college, all these lines would simply disappear because they could never ask about you two anymore. If parents loved something about couples, it's the talk of marriage. Luckily, you and Kuroo hate the topic and simply agreed that this should be avoided at all costs.

"Never." You say as he hands you the pillow you threw before setting it back on the bed. You share a look to each other while you head out of your room to meet with his family.

Hours later, you got distracted in the sensation of his hands intertwined with yours.

Kuroo has subconsciously done it again. Underneath the table, swiping his thumb on the palm of your hand while his expression doesn't even show the slightest bit of interest in what he's doing below. Occasionally, Kuroo would send you a text on how boring the conversation was going so you'd bring up a topic for the both of you.

"You ok?" He asks while you smile at him before leaning your head on his shoulder, suddenly exhausted with wondering about him.

"I'm fine, babe." You say while he forgets the noise in the background. The nickname slipping of your lips so easily, even when you didn't need to call him that.

"Wanna go back to our room?" That was what you wanted anyway but was it rude to walk out of gatherings like this?

"Is that fine with you?" You asked looking up to meet his eyes.

"As long as your okay." He says, making your heart give out a pocket of panic.

You stood up with him following behind you. He was genuinely concerned with you so he catches up to you, slinging his arm around your shoulder bringing you close to him.

"Thanks, Tetsu." You bid him as he opens the door for you. You lied down on the bed as Kuroo sits beside you.

"You sure you're okay? I can tell them that you can't attend the party if you're sick."

"I just got really bored and distracted back there. I'm sorry if I made you worry." Kuroo flicks your forehead with his finger making you say "ow."

"Stop saying sorry, dumbass. You're my priority either way."

Stop. No. Never, remember? You think to yourself.

"Is it because I'm your 'girl?' "

"You've always been my girl, what are you talking about?" He says raising an eyebrow at you while you hit him with a pillow, confused to why your cheeks became warm at his statement.

"Oi, what was that for!" He says before throwing a pillow at you as an act of revenge. Still flushed from earlier, you threw another pillow at him. You couldn't even respond to him without telling your heart to calm down.

"You know what? Let's just watch a movie to pass some time." You suggested taking your laptop while Kuroo stares at you, bewildered at how swift your mood changes.

"Women confuse me. Especially you, god- you remind me of Bokuto. Now scooch over, lady."

-

I really am lucky.

Kuroo thinks to himself while he watches you twirl around the mirror for the 5th time just to temporarily assure your insecurities.

Your outfit fits you like a glove. Hugging every curve of your body, the fabric decorating you with its design. Shades of dark colors on your eyes and a tempting lip color that drives Kuroo insane with this new found thought.

"Before you can ask me, you look amazing Y/N- I don't think that's enough to describe how you look tonight." He says, almost out of breath. You quickly get flustered, turning to notice his outfit. Eyes daring up and down, taking in every bit of the stunning middle blocker.

"Hopefully I can remind you that my eyes are up here." He takes a step towards you, inches away from your nose as he studies your appearance. You just stand out, like a star blinding him. Dangerous as it is, he stares the longest at your lips.

"Y/N? Honey, our ride is here! Tell Kuroo that the guys are looking for him as well!" Your aunt shouts making Kuroo step back, not wanting a problem to surface upon the deal.

"We can meet here at 10pm if you ever feel bored okay?" You nod at him as he places a kiss on your forehead.

"Noted." You said smiling at him, you honestly forgot to thank him for the compliment but the way your eyes danced around him gave him an answer already.

"I'll see you in a bit."

-

Kuroo feels the need to step out of this party. It wasn't like he didn't enjoy the stories of your uncles but this wasn't a circle he could fit into. Sure, the karaoke was humourous to watch but there was a need for him to be alone with you instead.

So, he dials your phone.

"Kuroo? What is it?" You asked him, escaping the noise of your aunties laughing as you went to the balcony.

"Just checking in on you, you good?"

"Is this a signal that you wanna leave babe?" You said chuckling, Kuroo smiles while he stands up to meet with your relatives to bid them goodbye.

"Sadly, yes and you?"

"I'll be there."

Few minutes passed as Kuroo got to your location. He couldn't allow you to commute when you looked that stunning, he was there to keep you safe at all times so you spent your time with silence in a cab back to the hotel. Kuroo didn't wanna talk about the party because he felt too drained to do it.

He takes his jacket and places it on your shoulders while you pull them closer to your body.

You two were seated on the bed while Kuroo removes your heels and setting them on the floor next to your other pairs of shoes. After removing them, you travel to the kitchen and sit on the sink as you drank water. Kuroo follows you with him beside you, leaning on it.

Why is it so quiet? You wondered.

Usually, Kuroo would make remarks or just bring up a conversation with you but you two just sat there with thoughts lingering around each other. While you set down the glass, Kuroo sets himself between your legs making your eyes widen while he sets his hands on either side your hip.

"What's on your mind? You do know that your silence is too loud for me." He says stroking your sides, making you trapped in a heated moment.

"Tetsu-"

"You've been off all morning. What's going on, Y/N?" He asks with sincerity. Ever since breakfast, all he's noticed is how your eyes never dared to stare back at his. How fidgety you were with his hand in yours, the way you'd gaze off into a state of thinking for a few seconds and your hands would feel cold compared to his.

"I- I don't know." You said honestly. There was a block in your mind and your heart. You couldn't notice how you were acting because there's a certain discussion that you unintentionally avoid. Was it the panic Kuroo set your heart in? Is it the way his skin on yours makes you wanna melt?

Was it the butterfly fluttering in you when he said you were his?

"Maybe you're just falling in love with me." Kuroo whispers leaning his face close to yours. God, he was joking. He should be but with his body moving without his system functioning before his orders, he was doomed already.

Unexpectedly, you leaned closer.

You could feel how Kuroo held his hand firmer to your hip while he continues to take away the centimeters in the space you had left. Tilting his head, his lips were impeccably close to yours, threatening you with how you wished they'd be on you already.

But what if I am?

"Isn't that part of the game?" You whispered back, as he steps away. The moment washes over him making his knees almost give out at what he just wanted to do. You sighed as he walks away, leaving you stranded in a pool of questionable feelings.

Your hearts were screaming. What foolishness did you insert yourself in? Kuroo felt like he shouldn't have walked away and chose the fatal move by kissing you the way he always wanted to do but he had to avoid the tightening of his chest.

No one can win in a battle of temptations, especially when your lips were calling his name.

You removed yourself from the sink while you entered your shared bed seeing Kuroo tucked in the sheets, obviously hiding.

You hopped on the either side of the bed with a sigh as you tried to silence out the voices in your head.

I don't want to be in this with you anymore.

-

It wasn't a surprise to see the left side of the bed empty. The moment you woke up, the both of you weren't ready to converse what happened last night, especially the middle blocker. It was his move and you couldn't even manage to move on your own after it. Now what surrounds the room is unresolved tension.

You finally got out of bed, stepping into the bathroom to brush your teeth, locking the door to leave you at peace with your mind. You decided to take a shower knowing the time of the wedding.

Kuroo comes back from grabbing your breakfast. He sees the impact of what happened last night. It was his fault for leaving without explanation now he has to endure the coldness of it all.

He hears the water running so he leans his forehead on the door, his heart wanting nothing more then for everything to be the way it was before.

"If only you knew." He whispers before gathering his tux for the event, sighing to himself.

When you walk out with a towel on, hair dripping droplets, he turns away immediately while you felt the frustration grew in how he was acting.

During your shower, you chose to base your actions with your brain instead of your heart. It can never lead you to proper decisions. Kuroo was making the situation worse—you had expected him to act like nothing happened the next day, maybe then things would have been easier.

"Have you eaten breakfast?" You asked him while he gives you a nod.

Speak to me please.

"I'll go get ready then." There was no point in hoping for a response from him and you grew tired because of it.

His mouth couldn't agree with his mind. He was caught up on if he wanted to apologize or act like nothing happened. He couldn't read your emotions properly even if he feels like he should 'cause if not then this going to grow into something you could both hate.

He's in between of thinking if you want things to be 'normal' or if you want some sort of explanation from him. He also feels like you'd escape the conversation seeing that you leaned in as well, which surprised him. He just can't face it, he can't bring up the words to express how right it felt even if it was wrong.

Still, both ways has his heart still long for you. The regret hasn't died in his body and he wishes it would.

"What time do you think they'll take us to the venue?" Your voice makes him awake somehow, he turns to see applying your makeup in the dress that the bride suggested you'd wear. Just like yesterday, he was struck again. The way the white stood out with the faint details of the dress had you glow like a star he wishes on.

"I don't know." He responds, he fell short on his words and there was still a clear state of hesitation that follows him.

You were fueled by him, yet this fire couldn't be held back.

Kuroo sees the way you drop the brush, leaving a sound echo through the silence he made, the way your heels clicked when you walked right up to him, a weak feeling setting in him knowing your stare was digging holes in his head as he looks at you.

"I think you're forgetting that you moved first."

You say, making him sweat under the confrontation but you let your words show how he managed to place your heart in your hands.

"So why act like we didn't want the same thing?"

You had him stunned. There weren't proper thoughts that ran in his mind, some parts of him still bringing him back to what happened last night and the other wanted to look into the future which was looking unsteady.

"We wouldn't want to ruin our deal, right?" His tone was laced with a threat. He couldn't even set his decisions right. Just blurting out words he thought was enough for the both of you.

"Kuroo, that wasn't an act." You argued making him crumble with another mistake in his response. You both felt it and there wasn't a way to act all blind to it. You were aware and admitted it to him face to face. That was the confirmation he needed to get his heart removed from its knots.

"Y/N-"

You step closer to him, a firm finger on his chest while your eyes stayed on

"If the show is more important to you, then let's call it like nothing happened."

While you give a push to his chest, you turned your back to him hoping it'd make him walk to you and tell you his genuine feelings.

But your heels lead you away from him and his feet remained glued to the floor.

-

They say weddings brought people together to celebrate love.

That is- the love that circled between you two is an experiment you'll never understand.

As you went to the wedding, everyone looked at this perfect couple who radiated silent rage with each other.

Kuroo feels the sting in his heart when you were forced to hold his hand and stick around him. Your voice portrayed it so easily- like this role of being his girlfriend was a reflex, something that you know by the back of the hand.

Meanwhile, he's forgotten his lines.

His expressions, the nicknames guardedly falling off his lips, the shaking hands that roamed around your waist, he was falling apart.

Suddenly, forgetting his role and searching for the script of reality.

Everyone can see it. The way you smiled and tried to avoid questions of why you both seems so close but feel so distant with each other. You'd laugh it off or change the topic to the lovely couple instead, even the bride could sense it.

While the ceremony begins, Kuroo couldn't stop looking at your direction. How could he not when his eyes loved the sight of you? Disregarding the tone of your voice earlier that scared the wits out of him, the way you strutted in that dress of yours still had his heart held captive.

Meanwhile, you kept your eyes busy by trying to focus on the couple. If you didn't control yourself, you would drown in him. Did that tux really have to be perfect in him? The way his hair was actually swept back with gel, exposing a new level of attraction for you.

For a second, Kuroo looks away knowing you'd never look his way the same way again.

And Cupid was sure to hit you right this time.

"Honey, you've shown me love in ways I never knew you could do. At first, I was scared. You know me- love is a deadly road but you drove me to the safest place. Love is scary but with you— I'm willing to fear it as long as I'm yours." The bride vows making some of your relatives form tears in their eyes at the beautiful choice of words.

You bit your lip, finding it ironic how it fits you. You were sure as hell scared. Knowing Kuroo and having to experience a bond with him and it could all end because of a mere kiss. You weren't ready to lose, both in love and in this level of fate.

"I've never said it before but I was scared too. It doesn't show- I know. Losing you is something that haunts me for the rest of my life, it's cliche but what's love without you? Even if I'm having some trouble in saying it, I love you and I don't think I can ever lie about that." The groom says while the bride wipes away her tears, fanning her eyes.

Didn't that just took the words right out of Kuroo?

He gulps, looking at you as you also turned to look at him. An antsy feeling settling in your bodies, the number of butterflies swarming around you was increasing with every word that replays in your minds.

Minutes pass as the newly married couple kiss, making you both awaken at the sound of cheers from your relatives. You stood up from your seat, joining the crowd as they watch the two walk down the path smiling at each other.

Kuroo was on the other side, joined by your male relatives while you were on the side with your aunties. Both of you were tremendously nervous. You decided to avert your eyes on the bride as she readies herself to thow the boquet of bright flowers.

You sighed as you decided to walk away but destiny tugs on your motives.

Time slows down as the boquet thrown in the air was circling around while they all watched on whose lucky hands it lands on. They all tried to reach it, believing in the myth that surrounded it.

Dropping an item from your bag, you bent down to pick it up but what made your eyes widen was the sight of the fallen flowers in front of you and everyone that surrounded you, disappeared in your mind.

Picking it up slowly, the boquet resting in your hand as you admired each flower but your heart was struck like an arrow hittings its target point.

Kuroo held his breath, clenching his hands as he stood there.

Giving one last glance to the boquet, your eyes finally met Kuroos astounded ones and the world goes into a blur while he remained to stay focused in your line of sight.

Just like that, Cupid lands a bullseye to both hearts.

ahhhh ty ty ty <3

ok, so I think that what makes Dream act this way (iykyk) is how dreamwastaken became so big so quickly. and by quick I mean fucking lightning speed.

he didn't have enough time to learn enough about cc etiquette, especially in these three aspects: influence, boundaries and fanbase/stans/whatever you call it. I'll try to explain it:

• Influence: Does he know the influence he has? Like, when he hears that he is the myct with the largest fanbase, does he really process that? I remember he talked about not being able to control all of his fanbase and there's bad apples everywhere -- which is true, and that only like 1% of his fanbase breaks his boundaries (that include sending hate for him, harassing, doxing, etc. yk, basic twitter culture lol) but, honey, with your big ass fanbase, 1% is still a lot of people. As a content creator you *have* to be aware of that.

let's take the hbomb situation. First off, as a streamer, it's you that set the mood of the stream. Even if he was only messing around with his pals, even if they did say to do not send hate to hbomb, dt dunking on him created a toxic environment, which caused his fans being toxic towards hbomb and you know what happens next. Hell, when this happened, I was watching Tapl and he was watching them and he was crying laughing over them screaming bc they were just. so loud and so aggressive that it was kinda ??? Sirs, this is literally a Minecraft Stream lmaooo

my point is, that was not the road that dreamwastaken, 21M fans, should've taken. he don't condone his fans actions but he knows his fans are diehard and will always be on his side, he should be more careful before stating negative opinions, especially if its towards another person.

• Boundaries and Fanbase: He posted a list of his boundaries a while ago, idk if you know or seen it (btw please george copy your bestie for the love of god <3) but I'm not talking about those boundaries, I'm talking about the basic boundaries between cc and viewer. boundaries that, in my opinion, should exist between cc and viewer. I get that Dream is an open person, an oversharing type of open person if I may add, but I think he should take a step back regardless. When I heard that he was taking a time from twitter, I genuinely got so glad, not because he couldn't start any drama then, but because it would do so so good for his mental health. I'm not even that fond of him, it's just that for me, any cc taking a break or outright leaving twitter is a win for me. I know how RSD is hard to deal and honestly letting shit out it's better but dream you have dt you have bbh so please don't make things worse online 😭 I know how good can be to feel validation from millions of people but. it's not a good idea, especially in the state that his fanbase is on rn (this topic is kinda sensitive to talk abt for me bc people be outright ableist and hide it as criticism like. say that shit's not helping his reputation and whatever without acting like he's fucking. manipulating his fanbase for being affected by his rsd💀 or, on the other hand, don't say that hes just being adhd🤪 when he's just being an asshole like damn that's a Him thing bro lol)

(omg it's so big I'm so sorry and theres a part two I'm so sorry tumblr user messed-up-gal ToT) - morango 1/2

pt. 2:

Dream is the proof that the people who loves you can be your downfall. istg. Have you noticed that every drama that Dream enters, people usually get more mad abt how his fanbase reacts (85% they'll react in a bad way) than Dream himself? it's not always, but its definitely more likely. I'm not saying Dream is saint, he Is petty and his ego does him dirty and made him choke multiple times before,, But! i dont think hes a bad guy. he's literally just a dude. ok, he's a 21yr old white gamer man that has a trumpie past (maybe?? idk. I think hes cured now ig lol) so he's bound to do some shitty things but he still tries to get better and hopefully he'll mature. 21 is old enough but it's still so young, yk? I kind of lost my mind during the end and my eyes are literally begging to be closed so tl;dr: Its gonna be hard for him to become a better cc bc his fans don't let him be criticized (by infantilizing his adhd symptoms or the mob mentality as soon as someone says anything abt him), the honest criticism get lost between lies from antis that don't know shit, he still has a lot of growing up to do and overall he became famous too fast and he needs to learn things even faster bc as soon as there's not a single one dream hater on sight they'll turn their back and attack him instead lmao I hate twitter i definitely have more to say but I'm tired and my memory is shit. just-- hate dream if you want, love dream if you want, nobody is obligated to have an opinion but I wanted to express mine. have a lovely day! -morango 2/2

Aight, there's a lot to unpack here, so Imma try to only go into the points I have something to add to (here's what I talk about in each paragraph, if you want to jump to a specific point):

Speed of Dream's rise to fame

The "bad apples" in the Dream fanbase

Post-MCC HBomb stream

Not condoning versus actually condemning his fans

Manipulation & RSD

Criticism of Dream, his fanbase, and his brand

The “just a dude” argument, flipped

First, I agree that one of the many factors that has resulted in the current image Dream has set up for himself, the way his fanbase functions, the ways people hate on him, and the way the Dream brand functions, is the speed of his rise to fame. It's unique, and there are probably a hundred social/psychological angles that could be used to examine the exact effects of that speed upon all of these facets of the Dream Name; did rapid fame beget the rapid rise of unrighteous hatred, did those waves of hatred then instigate the rise of a surprisingly overdefensive fanbase, did that rapid fame get to his head and/or result in an inability to appropriately handle all the after-effects of rapid fame, etc.? That point you bring up, about how the speed of his rise to fame requires him to learn even more quickly, is so interesting to me. I think that maybe Dream expected to get pretty famous pretty quickly, hence the preparedness in regards to some mechanics of influencer fame- merchandise, business-building, networking, knowing how to manage his fanbase to best benefit him. But I don't think he expected to get this famous this quickly. This is all speculation of course, as are this entire post and your ask, but I think that he just couldn't anticipate having to learn how to handle enmasse controversy, waves of antis, or every Youtuber speculating/knowing about him; and yeah, that results in him having to learn all of these things very quickly, lest he allow his whole brand and fandom to fall apart.

Second, I disagree with the frequent argument that Dream's fanbase is only marginally toxic. Personally, I think that the circumstances of Dream's fame, his personality and management of his fanbase, and his brand of content have resulted in the very specific kind of stan that Dream stans are. I don't think this is simply a case of "all fandoms have a small percentage of assholes who take it too far;" rather, the nature of the community itself breeds the kind of mentality of "an asshole who takes it too far." I only even know this because I was a Dream fan (kinda a stan, I'm ngl). At one time, I watched every single Dreamwastaken & Dream Team video multiple times; I listened to the Manhunts on repeat, as though they were podcasts; I followed mostly smiletwt and dttwt accounts on mcyttwt; I had upwards of 10 tabs for AO3 DNF fics open on my phone at a time; I watched DNF and Dream Team Being A Family-esque compilations on repeat; I watched every George and Sapnap alt stream I possibly could; I went out of my way to defend Dream against Redditors and Twitter antis regarding the cheating scandal. For the latter half of 2020, and a couple months of 2021, I lived and breathed this part of the fandom; so when I say that Dream stans are a whole other breed than any other kind of mcyttwt stan, I say that because I used to be like that, too. I usually use parasocial very loosely or ironically, but Dream stans are genuinely one of the most parasocial fanbases I have ever seen or been a part of. The level of investment Dream stans have in this man's life, the lengths they will go to to defend him, the amount of psychonalysis and digging they do on his life and character, the amount of emotion he can evoke in them- it's taken to another level, man. This isn't just characteristic of a fraction of his fanbase; this is what the fanbase is like as a whole.

Third, I partially disagree with your take on the HBomb thing, but not in the way one might think? I actually empathize with the way they reacted much more than I thought I would, simply because I suspect I have RSD (also suspect I have ADHD, have for several months now) and I can see myself getting insanely frustrated because of something like that. Like yeah, it was "just a MC stream" or "just an MC game," but that's kinda disregarding the fact that something that might seem like "just a [insert inconsequential thing]" to a rational mind might have a major emotional consequence/take a major emotional toll on someone with RSD, or really anyone who gets easily impatient/angry about video games (Sapnap reminds me of many of my friends, in that way). The issues I, personally, had with the way they handled the HBomb situation is that these are simply explanations and reasons for my empathy; they are not excuses. I have no excuse when I get irrationally angry about something inconsequential in my own life, for a couple of reasons. One, because I am an adult and I need to learn how to handle my reactions and manage my own anger. Two, because as someone with many mental problems, it is my responsibility to learn coping mechanisms to ensure my own emotional stability and livelihood; this includes learning whatever I need to handle RSD- whether that be isolating myself from others when I know I will become violently/passionately angry about something, creating and sustaining a support system that can get me through bouts of extreme emotion, finding healthy emotional outlets for my negative emotions that won't harm myself or others, or a combination thereof. I don't think what they said about HBomb post-MCC was an irreversibly horrible thing, or anything. I think there were errors committed by two men who should be fully capable of foreseeing and preventing those errors, but I don't unconditionally hate Dream or Sapnap for the post-MCC stream or comments. I just wish they had made amends quickly, publicly, and sufficiently, because the greatest consequences from the whole thing weren't even from those two criticizing HBomb themselves; they were from the waves of backlash because of their immense influence on the MCYT fandom, which could've been prevented, if they had acted maturedly and responsibly after the stream.

Fourth, you’re right, that he doesn’t seem to condone his fans’ behavior. I detest the frequent anti argument that one of the reasons Dream should be criticized is because he explicitly uses his fanbase to attack others, or something of the sort. Personally, I think he created his fanbase in a very specific way and interacts with them in such a way so as to benefit him as much as possible, yes, but he never actually tells his fanbase to go and yell at or harrass anyone. Still, there is a significant difference between not condoning something and condemning something. It might seem unfair, and it might be annoying of me to say this, but I truly think that someone with this large a fanbase, especially one as overzealous as Dream’s, needs to be condemned every single time it goes on some kind of rampage/harrassment campaign. Either that, or Dream needs to make a definitive, permanent statement against any kind of harrassment of others on his behalf. I know he’ll occassionally make the odd tweet or serious stream addressing something his fanbase did, but one of the many reasons his fanbase keeps doing the same damn thing is because he’s so lukewarm and spotty about this condemnation. A fanbase like his needs to be given explicit guidance and boundaries for the numerous things they do in his defense- harrassing/doxing antis, harrassing people who criticize him who aren’t antis (respectful criticism, other CCs, other MCYT stans, etc.), harrassing the people he critcizes (i.e., HBomb), speculating about his personal life (his relationship with his gf, his mental health/ADHD, his romantic life, his childhood, etc.), and speculating about his relationships with his friends and colleagues.  My personal ideology is that, if you have significant influence over someone or a group of people, you are at least somewhat responsible for the things those people do or don’t do, if it at all relates back to you. I’m so fucking tired of the argument that CCs aren’t responsible for what their fans do. Obviously they aren’t responsible for every single one of their fans, and obviously they can’t fully control their fans at the end of the day. But I think there are certain things that reach such a level of extremity that does make those CCs responsible. This can be measured by either scale or intensity; that is to say, if a CC’s fanbase does things on an extremely large scale, or one person from/a fraction of the fanbase does something really extreme, then the CC is made all the more responsible. Another CC I’ve always had trouble discussing with other people on this subject is Pewdiepie, in particular, about the extremists in his fanbase. Because the things a small handful of his fans have done in reference to him and/or in his name were so fucking extreme, I thought Pewdiepie had to take at least some responsibilty. Along a similar vein, because the things Dream’s general fanbase does are so widespread and on such a massive scale, Dream has to take at least some responsibility.

Fifth, okay. Hmmm. I want to tackle this point you made about the ableism he faces in some criticism of him carefully and with empathy, but not coddling. One, I do think a lot of the criticism he receives for the ways he handles criticism (post-cheating Tweets, reactions to John Swan, post-MCC HBomb stream, etc.), disregard his RSD and can be oftentimes ableist. I’ve actually encountered people irl who criticize this aspect of Dream’s character, and have had to explain to them their disregard for how ADHD/RSD affect neurodivergent people’s reactions to criticism. But - and this is a big, and very controversial but - I think mentally ill/disordered people can 100% leverage their mental illness/disorders for the sake of manipulation. This is actually something I’ve learned from a psychiatrist, regarding the ways people I know and I handle our anxiety and depression. This manipulation can be unwitting or intentional, but it is entirely possible, and the possibility shouldn’t be entirely dismissed as ableist. Living with a mental illness or disorder that others know about/that you are very public about puts you in an interesting position to receive frequent sympathy, empathy, and/or pity. I’m not saying that empathy for Dream having ADHD/RSD is entirely unjustified; on the contrary, I have frequently expressed how I can relate to his ADHD symptoms and have defended him for expressing those symptoms, both on mcytblr and in real life. I am saying that Dream fans tend to use his ADHD as a kind of shield for a lot of criticism levied against him, including the supposition that he could be manipulating his fanbase to defend him because of his public expressions of RSD. So yes, my theory is that Dream knows how to levy every aspect of his life for his personal gain and for the growth of his brand, and that includes his ADHD. I think he has courage for his openess about his ADHD, I think his openness has contributed to the rise in awareness of mental health and empathy for neurodivergent people within Gen Z, and I think at least some of his expressions of RSD publicly/online weren’t intentionally made public. All that being said, I also think he has to know just how much his fanbase cares about defending him for his ADHD, and I think he has to know that some of the things he does related to his neurodivergence endear him to his audience, in a coddling, baby-ing, mildly ableist sorta way.  Maybe this is all incredibly presumptuous of me. Of course, I can never know the real intentions behind any Dream video, Tweet, or stream. Maybe I’m just projecting, because I can see myself doing just this, if I had the maturity I had circa 2018-2019. Idfk know, man.

Sixth, I actually agree with you here, people probably do get more mad at his fanbase than him. Dream puts out content pretty seldomly, considering the frequency of content output for other Youtubers/streamers in his field/at his brand size. And yet, he has received masses of criticism. Considering that the things Dream himself does/says do not entirely correlate with the amount of criticism he receives, I think it’s a logical assumption that a lot of that criticism actually goes back to the size of his presence online, rather than the man himself. That is to say, because of the massive community he’s amassed, the exponential growth of his fanbase, their presence on every single social media site and in virtually every single Internet space/fandom, and the size of his metaphysical presence in his fields, Dream is much bigger than the man himself, so the criticism he receives will, at least in part, be a direct or indirect result of all these other aspects of the Dream brand.  Something I don’t think many Dream fans/stans, or even most MCYT fans in general, understand, is that Dream isn’t just “one guy” in the eyes of the Internet- at least, not anymore. He hasn’t been for nearly a year. Like Pewdiepie, Mr. Beast, and other CCs who have amassed similar levels of fame and wealth via Internet content creation, Dream is a brand now, and most people will treat him as such. He isn’t just some uwu soft boy playing Minecraft anymore. He is on a whole other level from any other MCYT in his friend circle or colleague interaction bubble. His words will never again live in a vaccum or private bubble, his friend circle will never again be under anything less than intense scrutiny, his past actions will never again be simple mistakes or silly errors, his words will never again be casual tweets or streams for laughs among a couple thousand followers. Dream’s name represents something much bigger than just the one man. As such, all aspects of his brand, including his fanbase, will tie back to him and, ultimately, to any general criticism of him.

I’m not saying I like any of this, and I actually think the evolution of influencers from people to a marketable brand with similar mechanisms, responsibilities, and liabilities as a corporation is some kind of late capitalism nightmare fuel; I’m just stating my own observations and theories as to why so much anti-Dream criticism seems to be directed at his fanbase, rather than him.

Seventh, he’s just a guy, you’re right, but I think a lot of the antis on Tumblr understand this more than you know. As I’ve seen it, the sentiment among much of the “DSMP stans DNI” crowd seems to be that of “Dream/other MCYTs are such ‘bad’ people, so why do their fans stick to these mediocre, racist men, when there are so many better people to watch/better content to consume?” We know this argument is flawed for many of the obvious reasons - the conflation of all MCYTs’ actions regardless of individual identity, the equating of a CC’s fanbase’s morality to that of the CC they enjoy watching, the exxageration of any error MCYT CCs have committed as bigotry/racism, the fundamental misunderstanding and misinformation that led antis to believe this exxageration of the facts, etc. But I want to focus on the general, underlying sentiment of, “why not watch someone better, when your creator is problematic?” Sometimes, I ask this of Dream stans. Yes, being mildly ignorant, getting involved in the scandals Dream has, and being a right-leaning/libertarian centrist in the recent past all seem like harmless things, all things considered. One could say Dream isn’t nearly as bad as many antis who are misinformed seem to believe, and that there are much worse CCs Dream stans could be watching and creating fan content for. But I think what Tumblr antis wonder is, aren’t there also much better MCYTs/CCs people could be watching and stanning? Because he’s just some guy, right? Is his content truly so exceptional or is he really so exceptional a person, that people have to stick by him, despite the things that spike up regarding his current or past actions? I think that’s what made me finally decide to stop watching Dream. I realized he was just Some Guy. The Dream Team was a comforting dynamic to indulge in, DNF was a cute ship to read and speculate about, and Manhunts were fun videos to watch; however, once the Reddit posts came out and I read them in-depth, the cost-benefit analysis tipped over to the “not worth it” side for me. I realized Dream’s content, while fun and comforting, was not entirely unique, and wasn’t worth sticking around for, given what I then knew about his past political leanings. If he is just Some Guy, then there are a hundred more like him out there. There a hundred more ships, a hundred more found family dynamics, a hundred more entertaining and skilled Minecraft players. So while I agree with you on the point of people being allowed to love him regardless because he is just a guy, at the end of the day, I think that, if we are to believe that sentiment or use that argument in such a manner, we should also understand the flip side- that, if he is just some guy, why is it worth sticking around? To that I say, maybe because people just enjoy the simple things they enjoy.

Anyways, I wholly agree with your tl;dr. Thanks for that insanely long ask, this was a fun thing to keep me occupied while I’ve been at work, facilitating Zoom sessions this whole morning.

Grace and Simon for the meme?

Damn, you are asking for one of my faves and my #1 least fave IT character at once x3 Interesting choice!

^^^^Please ask me more^^^^^^^ long post ahead! Contains heavy SPOILERS

Grace Monroe

✩ favorite thing about them: her whole redemption arc! One of the best character redemption I've ever witnessed. I love how she learnt to care about Hazel despite knowing she's a denizen and not a passenger. Moreover Grace fully acknowledges the harm she has done to others and is actively trying to get better and make amends and that's one of the most admirable things i can ever think of. I love Grace. She knows she was wrong and isn't afraid to admit it and confront her past.

✩ least favorite thing about them: How manipulative she was. I really really hated those moments. Especially how she tried to act as if she didn't know Hazel is a denizen in front of Simon after Hazel transformed into a turtle. It really broke poor Hazel :c ✩ favorite line: "I'm not responsible for your problems! I don't owe you anything!"

✩ brOTP: I feel like she would have been besties with Tuba but we all know what happened to Tuba :c I think she could also be a big sister figure to Hazel.

✩ OTP: None ?

✩ nOTP: Grace X Simon ... just no...

✩ random headcanon: She's aroace!

✩ unpopular opinion: I want to see her apologize to Hazel and maybe team up with Amelia, I feel like they could learn a lot from each other

✩ song i associate with them : Oh no- Marina and The Diamonds

✩ favorite picture of them:

My #1 fave Grace moment. I love how he's perfect foil to Grace ul about her own feelings.. also super heartbreaking scene TToTT

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Simon Laurent

✩ favorite thing about them: I love how he's perfect foil to Grace. While she moves on and works on herself, he's stuck in the past doubling down on his wrongdoings. In order to get better you need to accept that you're in the wrong and work on yourself , the road you choose may actually lead to your doom -his character arc gets that message across loudly and clearly.

✩ least favorite thing about them : I think it's obvious. HE KILLED TUBA and he has shown 0 remorse for his actions...

✩ favorite line: "I'm always with you.. We're team! "

✩ brOTP: at the beginning i saw him and Grace as besties but now i can't think of any brOTP including him

✩ OTP : NOPE

✩ nOTP : Simon X Grace.. i know he's obviously into her but not only it would be toxic AF but also she doesn't see him in that way

✩ random headcanon: i think in his messed up way he cares (or rather cared )about Grace a lot? he saw her as his closest person.

✩ unpopular opinion: He was perfectly redeemable character before he killed Tuba. Yes I know he does have a LOT of issues but they are not the excuse, theyre merely an explanation to his abhorrent behavior. The act of killing Tuba really made him fall into spiral. I'd love to read an AU fic in which Simon either doesn't kill Tuba or shows some regrets to his action- I am very interested how things would play out then.

✩ song i associate with them: Don't stop- Innerpartysystem

✩ favorite picture of them:

He just looks so cute and innocent here..

Somebody to die for.

Finan x OC; The Old Guard inspired Alternative Universe

Summary : Victoria’s life is rather simple until she has a car accident from which she ends up miraculously unscathed. A series of weird events animates her daily life, everything seemingly bringing her to a strange man. Until this very man knocks at her door.

Spotify Playlist • Masterlist

A/N : It’s Finan Friday again my dudes! I hope you all are fine! This chapter signs the REAL beginning of the story, hope you will like it ;)

Warnings : none! For once! Won’t last I fear lmaoo

Chapter 4 : I’m not calling you a liar, just don’t lie to me

Victoria wakes up suddenly, a frightened scream escaping her. She is sweaty and panting, her hands resting on her chest as she stares at the darkness surrounding her. Soon enough, the obscurity is broken when the door of her bedroom opens, letting in the light from the corridor. Finan is standing in the doorway but she can't read his expression as she sits up on her bed. 

“Are ya alright?” He asks, walking carefully towards her. 

She nods quickly, catching her breath in slow inhales and exhales again, but she's still shaking. He sits on the edge of her bed, his worried eyes studying her face and his hand rubbing her back. 

“I'm alright.” She whispers. “It was just a dream.” 

Finan suddenly stops his movement, making her look at him, his eyebrows furrowed.  “D'ya still have dreams?”

“After I met you it stopped.” She explains, rubbing her face and then letting her hands slide in her hair. “But I was back in the forest, where you died. You were still here, but I was staring at that young monk.” Finan's fingers tense against the fabric of her shirt, but she doesn't pay attention to it. “It was just like for you. I felt him die.” 

Victoria sighs, confused and still shocked. Finan's palm leaves her back and she turns her head to him. “Is it the first time ya've been dreamin' of him?”

She shakes her head. “No… No it isn't.” She stands up, walking to her desk to search for a paper. She feels Finan's gaze on her before she hears him walking behind her. “When I started to dream about you, I drew you.” She explains, pointing at a portrait of Finan. He takes it delicately while she keeps looking for the others. “Here!” 

She grabs her drawing of the young monk and hands it to Finan. His face falls and he mutters something inaudible.

“I think I've seen him through your memories.” She continues, ignoring the way he retreats, his eyes still fixed on the paper, until his calves hit her bed and he sits on it. “Do you know him?” She asks, crouching in front of him to try to meet his eyes.

Finan's jaw clenches and she squeezes his knee, calling him softly, but he is desperately captivated by the young man from her dreams. His reaction however is enough for her to understand that he isn't a stranger to him.

“Finan, if I've been dreaming of him, maybe that means he isn't dead. Maybe he is like us.” She says, a hopeful and reassuring smile growing on her lips. 

She thought the news would have pleased him, especially after being lonely for a millennium. And it seems that this monk is someone he used to know, one more reason for Victoria to think that he should be happy. But there's not even the shadow of a smile on his face. Instead, he exhales slowly, putting the drawing beside him onto the blanket.

“I know.”

Vicky blinks, confused. “What do you mean, you know?” 

“I know him and I know he is alive.” He says emotionless, avoiding her gaze. 

She stands on her feet, her eyes wide open. She can't believe he has been lying to her and it's a strange feeling that boils in her chest, made of confusion, anger and betrayal. Finan looks up to her and is about to speak but she slaps him across the face. She's as surprised as he is about her action but she can't find the will to apologize while he rubs his cheek.

“You lied to me!” She shouts at him, her voice breaking in disbelief. “You said we were the only ones! You said you've been alone for all this time.”

“It's more complicated than ya think.” He grumbles.

Victoria scoffs. “It's no reason to lie to me! I trusted you!” Finan's jaw twitches but he says nothing, which upsets her even more. But she tries to calm down, wanting to know the truth. “How many are we?”

He hesitates, his fingers drumming on his thigh. “With ya, five.” 

“Fucking five!” She rolls her eyes and walks to her desk to take her two last drawings, handing them to the Irishman. His face darkens even more and she notices how hardly he swallows as he takes in the two men. “Is it them?” 

He nods, and even though she can see the emotions in his eyes, the way tears are threatening to roll on his cheeks, she can only feel anger. She pinches the bridge of her nose, walking in circles around her bedroom. “I can explain ya.” Finan eventually whispers, making her halt.

“I don’t want to hear your explanations.” She says sharply and he stares at her with as much surprise as when she slapped him. She sighs, rubbing her eyes now. “Just… Just leave.” However, Finan doesn’t leave, still fixated on her. “Fucking leave!” She shouts and he finally stands up. 

It’s only when she hears the door of her flat closing that she allows herself to fall on her bed. She feels so betrayed, even though she knows him for a short time, she has accepted that he would be the only forever she would ever know. The only constant when all the people she knows will disappear one by one. But everything was a lie. Well at least one part, but Victoria is blinded by anger. However, she does regret kicking him out of her flat as a hundred questions are rising in her mind and only he could answer them.

She feels that way for the rest of the week, having a thousand questions about the three other immortals, but too proud to accept Finan's excuses and ask him about them. Finan, on the other hand, does try to talk to her, sending her texts and calling her. And she just ignores him.

“Why don't you answer?” Rebecca asks her when they are taking their lunch break together in a small park, Vicky having declined the Irishman's call with a long sigh. 

“It’s nothing important.” She replies before taking a mouthful of her salad. “Is it still okay for dinner on saturday?”

Becca nods. “Yes, I’ll drive you if you want.”

“Oh, that would be great.” She smiles, grabbing her bottle of water.

“When are you planning on getting a new car, by the way?” Rebecca asks her. 

Vicky chokes with her water and coughs a little. “Hum yeah… Soon? I guess? I've got to see.”

Her friend narrows her eyes while Victoria averts hers. “You're really weird these days, Vicky.” She says with a more serious tone.

“What do you mean?”

“I don't know, you're always busy, and when you dare spend time with me, it seems like you'd rather be somewhere else.” She explains, resting her chin on her palm. And suddenly, a mischievous smile spreads on her lips. “Or someone else.” 

Vicky rolls her eyes, Rebecca definitely won't let go of that. She should have known better that after a week of not mentioning it she would return to the attack. “There’s no one, Becca.”

“Sure.” She smirks, pretending to look at something further in the park. “Well, when there will be someone, I would love to hear about that someone.”

“You’ll be the first to know.” Vicky grins exaggeratedly. 

Saturday comes earlier than she expected, and for the last two days, Finan stopped texting her. She can’t tell if she’s happy about it or not, she may still be angry at him, he is the only one able to answer her questions, and especially those about the three other men. So as she drives Rebecca’s car towards her parents’ house she makes a note to herself that she’ll have to text him tomorrow. But in fact she won’t have to do it because her phone rings, and she barely has the time to recognize Finan’s number until Rebecca grabs it.

“Oh my god, no Becca, don’t answer!” She says but her friend just wiggles her eyebrows and presses on the green button. 

“Hello?” She smirks innocently while Victoria is mouthing her insults. She can barely hear Finan’s voice through the phone. “Oh, no Vicky is driving right now, she can’t answer. But she’ll be very glad to see you later, I’m sure.” She grins at her, Vicky giving her a threatening glare. “She’ll be at home at 10.”

She then hangs up, visibly satisfied by her move but Victoria definitely doesn’t have the same opinion. “Why the hell did you do that? It could have been anyone else!” She shouts, raising a hand toward her phone in an annoyed fashion.

Rebecca simply chuckles, looking at the road again. “I recognized the number, you’ve been ignoring all his calls.”

“Indeed, and maybe there’s a reason for that!” She grumbles, trying to remain focused on her driving. 

“What’s that reason?” She asks curiously, something she maybe should have asked before.

Vicky rolls her eyes. “It’s complicated.”

“So, it’s the guy you’ve been seeing for the past weeks?”  She tilts her head.

“Christ, you’re really obsessed Becca.” She sighs, glancing at her quickly only to see her mischievous smile. 

When they finally arrive at her parents’ house Vicky is happy to notice her brother’s car while Rebecca’s face falls. The blond grins widely, she’ll have her revenge tonight after all. Since childhood, Rebecca has always had a thing for her older brother, Charles, and since she knew it, Victoria loves to tease her with that. As they walk to the front door, her best friend harasses her with questions about whether or not she knew Charles was here, and she just shrugs. And of course, it has to be him that opens the door and Rebecca can’t look more uncomfortable than when he leans to kiss her cheek after hugging Vicky. 

Charles is two years older than Victoria, and like she likes to call him, the intelligent one, while she is the weird one. For two years he’s been studying in Edinburgh and coming back home only occasionally, and usually without a warning. Obviously, with both Rebecca and Charles at home for dinner Vicky is far from being the center of the discussion, which doesn’t displease her as it gives her the opportunity to slip away to the kitchen when she receives a text from Finan. She can’t help but smile at his message saying that he suspects her not being consensual about their meeting later and that if she wants, they can cancel. Vicky hesitates a moment before answering. Maybe she can still be upset at him and see him to have answers. She’s yearning to know what made him lie to her, and who those men are and if maybe she could meet them too. So she texts back that they still should meet tonight anyway.

“Holy shit, the parents won’t stop with their questions.” Charles complains as he enters the kitchen with a pile of plates. 

Victoria slides her phone in her pocket and grins at him while opening the dishwasher. “That’s the problem when you’re the intelligent one.”

He laughs, his golden locks shaking. He puts the plates in the machine and leans against the counter once it’s closed. “Rebecca hasn’t changed a bit.” He says softly, with a shy smile.

Victoria raises an eyebrow at her brother, wondering what he truly meant by this comment but her mother shouts at them to bring the dessert before she can ask. During the whole rest of the dinner she keeps staring between her brother and best friend, trying to catch something that would betray him, but Charles is clearly better than Becca at hiding feelings. This new distraction makes her forget all about the past strange days she has been through, and she feels like a teenage girl desperate to learn every gossip around. But when dinner ends it makes her awkwardly sad, Finan’s warning about the fact that one day she’ll have to leave everything behind coming back to her mind. So, as if she’s just learned the date of her death, which ironically could never happen in fact, she decides to enjoy every moment with her family and close friends to have no regrets. 

That’s how she ends up talking of their future summer holidays with Rebecca in the car while she drives back to London. She checks destinations on her phone, both of them debating on which is better between Greece and Sicilia. Time goes quicker and soon enough Rebecca stops in front of her building with a teasing grin. 

“Have a good night.” She winks.

“Fuck off.” She replies after pulling her tongue out and leaving the car. 

She looks around until she finds Finan leaning against a wall, as usual, his hood covering his face. She steps toward him and he straightens, an apologetic smile shadowing on his lips. Before he could say a word, Vicky speaks. 

“I’m still mad at you.” She declares crossing her arms over her chest.

“It has the merit of bein’ clear.” He tilts his head, his mouth forming a straight line. 

She ignores his remark and continues. “But I still have many questions. The first being why you lied to me?”

Even in the darkness of the night, just a few lampposts lighting the area, she can see how his eyes suddenly seem lost in what she supposes are memories of long gone days. “It’s a complicated story.”

“As if there’s anything simple with you?” She wryly asks and he chuckles while nodding.

“Right.” He sinks his hands in his pockets and briefly looks up, his gaze hovering over the window of her flat. “Maybe I could explain ya inside?”

“Yeah, I’m freezing.” She admits before walking to her building’s door, Finan following her. 

They climb the stairs quickly, glad to feel the warmth of the inside. She searches her keys in her pocket when they reach her floor but when she stretches her arm out to open the door and push the key into the lock something is wrong.

Noticing her hesitance, Finan steps behind her, leaning slightly above her shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“The door is open.” She says and then shakes her head. “I must have forgotten to lock it correctly.” 

She ignores Finan’s furrowed eyebrows as he looks at her and pushes the door open. She steps in her flat, and she has an unpleasant feeling of a stanger’s presence growing in her chest. She first thinks she’s being paranoid, but when she reaches her kitchen and finds herself face to face with a man pointing a gun at her she realizes she wasn’t.

A/N: Don’t kill me for this end :(((

Tag :​ @for-bebbanburg​ ​ @naps4bats​ ​ @osferth​ ​ @maggiescarborough​ ​ @finansarms​ ​ @dumbledoreisnotmyhubby​

I don't believe you guys!!! Nobody thought to request kaito asking kai "how babies are made" ??! Kaito being a smart little man would never stop asking this question until he gets a convincing answer. Walking behind kai everywhere shouting the same question in front of everyone as a broken record. Sorry if its not clear but this is my request. You dont have to do it if you don't like it.

Holy digty fuck

He accelerate his pace through the halls of his home in oure desperation.

Why you wonder?

"Daddy come on! Answer me! How babies are made?" The six year boy sayed as he was almost running to reach his father.

"Kaito. Please." He groaned while he pinched the space between his eyebrows in annoyance.

"Daaaaaaad!" The boy whined as he grabbed and tugged rather roughly his jacket. "You say it you would tell me eventually!"

"I didn't."

"YOU DID!" he pouted while Chisaki sended him a glare for raising his tone of voice.

"Overhaul sir." Greeted Nemoto as enconter his boss and his child. Chisaki only nodded and returned his attention to his son.

He immediately went wide eye when he saw the devious look on Kaito's face when he notice Nemoto's presence.

"Good afternoon Nemoto sir!" He let go of Chisaki jacket and bowed politely at the older man.

"Good afternoon for you too young one." Laughed Nemoto at seing such a young child being so polite.

"May I ask you for a favor? My dad won't answer me for some reason." He smirked up at his father who only scowled back at him.

"I swear that if you keep doing th-"

"Why of course. What do you need?"

"Where does the babies come from? Dad keeps getting the subject away."

The man widened his eyes in surprise as he send a questionable yet uncomfortable look at his boss, whose was almost punching a wall from his son's actions.

"Or just use your quirk on him? Either will do." The kid smirked.

Chisaki simply apologized for his son's behaviour before yanking him away from Nemoto, living the poor man confused as heck, and went to the living room.

Thankfully he found you messing around on your cellphone. He sighed in relief before Kaito voice ranged again.

"Dad! Let go!" Squirmed Kaito on his firm grip. "Mommy!"

"(Y/N).. please help me out in here." Pleaded Chisaki as he furrow his eyebrows at catching you giggling.

"What happened in here you two?"

"I just asked a question to Dad and he won't answer!"

"Your son's question is just too much for him to know." You furrow your eyebrows and patted Kaito's head when he came to close his tiny arms on your waist as he rested his head on your belly.

"What are you tormenting your father now hum?" You asked playfully as Kaito looked up at you and smiled widely at your affection.

Little rascal...

"I asked him how babies are made." You cringed mentally.

Kaito you have six years baby you don't need to know about that.

"And he almost made Nemoto answer his stupid question." Your husband looked at you, almost mortified.

"Kaito honey." You started "There are somethings that you really don't need to know until you're older..." the boy pouted and pointed at his father.

"But dad promised!" You send a glare at your husband which he only responded with a deadpanned expression.

"I. Didn't."

"You did! When you were reading those boring papers you promised to answer my question as soon as you finished that boring work you do."

He looked at you and mentally facepalmed himself. This brat choose exactly the most distracted moment of his to make a promise.

"Kaito. Babies are made simply. They parents just thinks about having one and there. Happy?"

You had to try really hard to gulp down your laugh at the poor explanation your hisband just tried to give, clearly not pleaskng Kaito.

"But how? That doesn't make any sense at all. Dad you're a scientist..." Kai never once in his life regreted being called like that until now.

"Me and your mother as a example then. I gave her a pill, she gulped, then there we go, we have a brat." Kaito nodded in understatement before shouting a 'HEY!'

Oh god, honestly you would be burying yourself on the ground in shame while crying if this situation and the way he made up as a excuse to give your boy was just priceless...

Mimic entered the room and saw how Kaito was being lushed away by Kai's hand away.

"What is happening in here?"

"Nothing Mimic." You giggled "Just Overhaul explaining to Kaito how humans are made in general."

Mimic widened his eyes and looked at Chisaki with disbelief.

"You told him you and (Y/N) fucked?"

Thankfully Chisaki catched what Mimic was going ti say and covered his son's ears before he could catch it the final word as you gasped.

"Irinaka..." he growled animalistic.

Honestly, he was considering on maintaining Mimic at least six meters away from his family...

Behind the scenes of this livetext: Mycroft gets a new phone and identifies Iago via haiku; Iago sees Hamilton; "Pride and Prejudice but in Starfleet" becomes a thing; Iago quits their job; SO MANY PUNS; and it turns out that Mycroft has never finished Avatar: the Last Airbender. A year in the making (I'm not even fucking kidding), I present you with: Iago Reads Wizards At War (lightly edited for ease of reading)

Mycroft: Better start bracing yourself for book 8 now

Iago: Oh sweet Jesus

Mycroft: There, no you can't say I didn't warn you

Iago: But you /know/ it's funnier when I get to threaten you with gruesome death!

Iago: Are you ready for this?

Iago: ...one of the chapter titles is "Acceptable Losses". /I/ am not ready for this.

Iago: Nita needs a vacation from her vacation. Nita sweetie...

Iago: "Neets, is it true he destroyed a whole alien culture in just ten days?" Carmela Rodriguez is my Patronus

Mycroft: Right?

Mycroft: She just keeps getting better

Iago: Roll call at the Callahan home: "three humans, one humanoid, one tree, and one giant bug" and I'm quietly cackling in public

Iago: "The centipede pointed a couple spare eyes at the Christmas tree." Taken out of context, I think that may be the most bizarre sentence I've ever read. In context, it makes perfect sense. I don't know which amuses me more.

Mycroft: Yesssss

Iago: "But her mom had loved those lilacs, and wouldn't be seeing them again." OKAY OW

Iago: Oh sweet minty Jesus

Iago: You weren't wrong.

Iago: And I wasn't prepared.

Mycroft: So not prepared

Mycroft: What's that in response to specifically?

Iago: Basically the entire series of events leading to Kit and Nita becoming Seniors

Mycroft: BASICALLY

Mycroft: IT'S ALL GONE TO SHIT

Iago: Descriptions of wizardries in action never fail to be beautiful

Iago: "The changes in the structure of space then start affecting the thought processes and reactions of all living beings in the area. Their behavior will start to become less and less rational...less committed to Life."

SHE WROTE THIS BOOK OVER A DECADE AGO HOW IS IT SO RELEVANT RIGHT NOW

Mycroft: Oh you have no idea

Iago: God help my soul

Mycroft: So yes, welcome to Tom's Wizardly PowerPoint of universal doom

Iago: I should just go see Moana again. It's far less depressing

Iago: "Uh-oh". Now Nita's getting in on it

Mycroft: Indeed

Iago: Looks like Nita's playing "fake it 'til you make it"

Iago: I don't know if that's good or bad, to be honest

Mycroft: Fairly characteristic tho

Iago: True

Iago: "...yet another lollipop sticking out of his face." That is the greatest description of someone with a sucker in their mouth that I've ever witnessed

Mycroft: Roshaun and his lollipop addiction

Mycroft: The real OTP

Iago: *chokes* oh my gOD

Iago: Sker'ret just called Nita "Senior". I think both Nita and I had a quick internal freak-out

Iago: THEY STILL HAVE BETTY CALLAHAN'S NUMBER IN THEIR HOME PHONE I'M GOING TO GO CRY IN A CORNER

Mycroft: ;__;

Iago: "The universe has started expanding too fast, and we have to stop it before it tears itself apart."

"Um. Okay, I see why you might need a few extra days off for that."

*slightly hysterical laughter*

Mycroft: Same

Iago: "Two weeks to save the universe". Sounds like an album title

Mycroft: I'd listen to it

Iago: "What /is/ grenfelzing, exactly?"

"It's kind of like emmfozing, but with chocolate."

Have I ever mentioned that I both hate and love your ability to quote these goddamn books at me when I ask questions?

Mycroft: I can't recall, but I'm glad to hear it

Mycroft: Also I mean that's the only canon explanation so really, what else could I say

Iago: But you quoted it /word for word/

Mycroft: Admittedly, that was at least partially For The Meme

Iago: I'll allow it

Iago: "...a brief, profound case of amnesia. They'd instantly forgotten why they were there" sounds like my life

Iago: Oh my god what is Spot doing with the TV

Iago: *whispers* How bad is it that my mind is currently in the gutter

Mycroft: Dataaaaaa

Iago: AM I JUST A PERVERT OR DOES THAT SOUND INCREDIBLY DIRTY

Mycroft: It's certainly something

Iago: "But most of the aliens are here for the cocoa plants." Well, I can't exactly blame them...

Iago: Carmela Rodriguez remains a gift

Iago: Oh god Ronan's back

Mycroft: Yessssss Carmela and Ronan

Mycroft: A dangerous combination

Iago: Ronan keeps the Spear in a pen

Iago: *checks date published*

Iago: Feels a bit Percy Jackson to me

Iago: Carmela has the insta-hots for Ronan. This is gonna be fun

Iago: "The fucking heir of an almighty something or other" is still a really good description for Roshaun. In case you were wondering if I had warmed up to him any more

Iago: WHALE

Iago: WHALE ON THE MOON

Iago: Whale On The Moon is the name of my new techno jazz band

Mycroft: Can I join?

Mycroft: I'll learn any new instrument you need

Iago: ...having thought about it, I'm legitimately not certain what instruments would be /played/ in a techno jazz band. So, I mean, if you want to learn the synthesizer...

Iago: Young Wizards book 8 alternate title: Wizards' Reunion

Iago: Lots of air quotes going on right now

Iago: ....I want Darryl's manual

Iago: "Where's your adjunct talent?"

"Playing with rocks, as usual."

Okay now I really want a puppy

Iago: "Twychild". Have I mentioned lately that the worldbuilding in these books gives me a case of the warm fuzzies?

Mycroft: Yesssss Tuyet and Nguyet

Iago: *whispers* Why is there a thought-voice talking in second-person in Kit's head

Iago: The description of Roshaun's living space send help

Iago: "A three-way collision between an antique furniture warehouse, a jewelry story, and a Gothic cathedral carved and decorated by the artistically insane."

Iago: So my brain has given Roshaun's father the voice of Mark Hamill.

Iago: There's a decent chance I'm going to just call him the Phoenix King

Iago: "Speaking truth to power is never 'out'." DAIRINE REMAINS GOD

Iago: (Also if I ever go to a protest I'm putting that on my sign.)

Mycroft: Yessss do it

Mycroft: And which kind of Mark Hamill are we talking here: Skywalker, Firelord or Joker?

Iago: Firelord. Thus the Phoenix King comment

Iago: Oh my god Dairine in the face of implications that she and Roshaun are ~involved~

Mycroft: Blessss

Iago: "You tell those people that they are completely nuts!"

Iago: Did...did Roshaun just /whine/ at his mother?

Mycroft: Yes

Mycroft: Not so dignified now

Iago: *falls off the table in laughter*

Iago: Oh god is Roshaun developing a Thing for Dairine

Mycroft: WELCOME TO THE MADDENING AMBIGUITY

Iago: MADDENING AMBIGUITY IS THE NAME OF MY NEW POLITICAL PUNK BAND

Mycroft: Bless

Iago: This is my favorite game

Mycroft: I know a fair few YW fans who have a particular talent for it

Iago: I have a list. I use them in my stories for bands my characters like

Mycroft: Most excellent

Iago: Ponch wants blue food

Mycroft: As do we all

Iago: I /could/ go for some blue Jolly Ranchers

Iago: Ponch, to Ronan: "You two just talk among yourselves."

Dog sass is best sass

Iago: "It's math, Kit, but not as we know it."

SHE. SHE JUST. SHE FUCKING DID THAT ON PURPOSE

Iago: I'm going to go curl up in a corner and cry with laughter now

Mycroft: Yup

Mycroft: What a nerd, right

Iago: Pot, kettle

Iago: Oh shit Sker'ret is having a fight with his parent

Iago: ...I currently have a desire to cuddle what amounts to a giant centipede. What have you done to me

Mycroft: The magic of Young Wizards

Iago: That was terrible

Iago: But, then again, I love terrible

Iago: Okay so the description of dark matter

Mycroft: Yes?

Iago: I feel like I have something crawling around under my skin

Mycroft: It's unsettling, isn't it

Mycroft: That gets worse

Iago: Oh god

Iago: "Nita for the first time actually saw someone else look out of Ronan's eyes. The expression was one of recognition coupled with a very controlled anger. The one who looked out had seen something like this before."

Oh. Shit. Oh /shit/.

Mycroft: Yessssss

Mycroft: Shit just got real

Iago: I am not prepared for this

Mycroft: Correct

Iago: GIGO

Mycroft: :D

Iago: "For transits like this, we temporarily rewrite the kernel that manages local gravity and mass in our solar system. It's no big deal."

oh my gOD

Iago: They are actually Dairine's children

Mycroft: They've been busy since we last saw them

Mycroft: And it's awesome

Iago: "A world of true computer wizards" get the fuck out

Iago: They're actually calling her Mother s e n d h e l p

Mycroft: RIGHT

Iago: I'm not crying you're crying

Mycroft: I'm not crying I'm eating a quaesadilla

Mycroft: The crying one must be you

Iago: Well I can't see to tell you so who knows

Iago: "Guys," [Dairine] said after a moment, "you make me proud."

"That is our other purpose," Beanpole said. "Our first one."

Iago: I A M D E A D

Mycroft: I knowwww

Iago: "Life's all the time sending /me/ messages I can't read." [Dairine] flicked just a second's glance at Roshaun, who she was starting to think was yet another of those messages.

Iago: Oh lordy

Iago: Oh god above send help

Iago: Spot's becoming less of a machine, more alive. I don't know if I'm in support of this change

Mycroft: Everyone needs upgrades now and then :P

Iago: I don't like change

Iago: I kind of adore the mobiles all bowing to Dairine

Iago: Roshaun raised his eyebrows and produced another lollipop, which he held out to her.

"How many of those things do you have?" Dairine said.

"Not nearly enough," Roshaun said.

Iago: Please excuse me while I go laugh myself sick

Mycroft: Roshaun has his priorities in order

Mycroft: There was always a jar of lollipops on hand at CrossingsCon in his honor

Iago: Perfect

Iago: "I'll give you a dysfunction where you'll have trouble finding it again."

Totally stealing that don't even care

Mycroft: Excellent

Iago: "I may be a mother, but you are /mine/."

Maybe I didn't take enough time to recover after finishing The Slow Regard of Silent Things I'm going to go collapse in an emotional heap

Mycroft: So many Dairine feels, I knowww

Iago: "Enthusiasmic incorporation of the Hesper--"

What? What?! What does it say? What does it mean? I NEED TO KNOW

Mycroft: [rubs hands together; evil laughter] I'M SAYING NOTHING

Iago: Oh god is time moving faster on Metemne

Mycroft: MAYBE

Iago: Oh fuck it's relativity isn't it. Because they're near the source of the dark matter, they're moving faster than the rest of the Universe

Mycroft: Very possible

Iago: Oh no. Introduction of Della Cantrell and MY EMOTIONS CAN'T TAKE THIS HALP

Mycroft: Oh boy

Iago: Nita's phone call to her dad. Direct hit to the feels.

Mycroft: Harry Callahan is such a good dad

Iago: That is part of why it hurts so much

Iago: "Nita, could you please get off me before we accidentally become more than just good friends?"

*cackles maniacally*

Mycroft: BEST

Iago: Holy fucking sHIT ALMOND SPIDERS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

Mycroft: Wait what

Mycroft: Remind me of the context for that

Iago: On Rashah. The creatures destroying the trees are almond-shaped and have eight legs. Almond spiders

Mycroft: Oh ok that's what I figured

Mycroft: HELLO TO OUR TERRIFYING NEW ALIEN FRIENDS

Iago: ALMOND SPIDERS. WHY.

Mycroft: WHY NOT

Iago: "They've been fighting each other, on and off, for /millions/ of years?"

"They must be really enjoying it, to keep the war going so long."

Sker'ret is so great

Mycroft: Rashah is not exactly a great vacation destination, that's for sure

Iago: Oh sweet minty Jesus the almond spiders are a remnant after an atomic holocaust I need a drink

Iago: And...they're all avatars...of the Lone Wanker. Better make that two drinks.

Mycroft: WELCOME TO RADIOACTIVE POSSESSED WAR-MONGERING GIANT SPIDER CULT WORLD

Mycroft: ENJOY YOUR STAY

Iago: Where is Nita's dad

Iago: I am Concerned

Iago: Also

Iago: I will never get tired of the "check your spelling" joke

Mycroft: Same

Iago: "Words had just failed Dairine." Gods above have mercy on us all

Mycroft: I appreciate that the narration pauses to note how unthinkable that is

Iago: Also, a "bright" version of the Lone Power

Iago: What does that mean

Iago: Why is bright in quotes

Mycroft: To indicate it's kind of a rough description of a more complex subject, mostly

Iago: But does it mean that we're getting a version of the Lone Power that's more on the good side or a version that's worse than usual

Mycroft: There's more explanation later, but basically picture the LP's non-evil twin

Mycroft: Like its opposite, basically

Iago: I thought /you/ were refusing to give spoilers

Mycroft: Meh, I saw that as more clarification on what you already read, ymmv

Mycroft: But stay tuned

Iago: Well obviously

Iago: Nita doesn't like shooting people who are shooting at her

Mycroft: Krakens don't count but I don't think they were as sentient

Iago: "I'm a wizard, not an engineer" goddammit /again/?!

Mycroft: Yesss

Iago: I shall take myself off to the laughing corner

Iago: Oh god self-destruct at the Crossings

Mycroft: Kind of a terrifying prospect

Iago: Nita just blew up a giant gun

Mycroft: Yesss

Iago: "High-fiving a giant centipede can take a while."

Up next on Winning Understatements....

Mycroft: That is so fun to picture

Iago: I know!

Iago: "I don't wear socks."

"Just as well. You'd bankrupt yourself."

That is /also/ fun to picture

Mycroft: As an antidote to the tense battle scene, have a bunch of centipede leg jokes

Iago: Pretty much

Iago: Wait

Iago: /Carmela/?!

Mycroft: Hahahaha yesss

Mycroft: THE GLORIOUS RETURN

Iago: What

Iago: WHAT

Iago: Okay, Sker'ret just /swallowed/ the self-destruct panel

Mycroft: He's got a talent for that kind of thing

Iago: Which, I mean, okay, great way to not lose it

Iago: But

Iago: Can't he digest, like, /everything/?

Iago: And the self-destruct sequence is still going?

Iago: What happens if he takes too long to get the panel back out?

Mycroft: Rirhait stomach work in mysterious ways

Iago: ...is that the canon explanation or your way of saying "don't think about it too hard"

Mycroft: Yes

Iago: Why did I let you talk me into this

Mycroft: Because it's awesome, come on

Iago: Ugh

Iago: *quiet noises of agreement*

Iago: "So I took steps." CARMELA

Iago: (Carmela is the reason I let you talk me into this.)

Mycroft: That's the best answer

Mycroft: This book is Peak Carmela honestly

Iago: *whispers emphatically* Juanita Louise

Mycroft: Yessssss

Iago: Carmela just referred to Filif as "my favorite Christmas tree" and Carmela is all of us in that moment

Mycroft: So true

Mycroft: Filif is tree-mendous

Iago: I fucking hate you so much right now. :b

Mycroft: :D

Iago: "We are on errantry, and we greet you."

"Not that you particularly /merit/ greeting." Nita pls

Mycroft: She's earned the right to some snark, I'd say

Iago: Clearly

Iago: "You get more honey with flies. Wait a minute, that's not how it goes." CARMELA PLS

Mycroft: Oh my god

Mycroft: Get ready for another legendary Carmela moment

Iago: IS SHE BRIBING THE TAWALF WITH CHOCOLATE

Iago: FUCKING SHIT YES SHE IS

Mycroft: YEAH

Mycroft: And now you know why this book made Carmela everyone's favorite

Iago: I'M SO PLEASED WITH THIS

Iago: I mean Dairine is always going to be my eternal favorite but yeah Carmela's a close second

Mycroft: Relatable

Iago: Oh my god now she's threatening to /eat/ the chocolate right in front of them I'm crying

Mycroft: I KNOW RIGHT

Iago: Ponch the almond spider is trying to catch his non-existent tail

Mycroft: Omfg I forgot about that

Iago: It's a hilarious picture

Iago: I think I just witnessed a cult gathering

Iago: "You let me worry about this planet, and I'll let you worry about all the others." HARRY CALLAHAN IS BEST DAD

Mycroft: THE VERY BEST

Iago: NO

Iago: NONONONONO

Iago: TOM AND CARL HAVE FORGOTTEN THEIR WIZARDRY

Mycroft: AH YOU'VE GOTTEN TO THAT PART

Mycroft: WELCOME TO HEARTBREAK CITY, POPULATION YOU

Mycroft: And also Nita

Iago: S E N D H E L P

Iago: Wait are Rirhait mostly purple

Iago: Because if yes than they are my new favorites

Mycroft: They also come in blue, green, and pink, but yeah

Mycroft: I'm pretty sure Sker'ret in particular is purple

Iago: Well I saw that but the book makes a point to say that there are a /lot/ of shades of purple and I fucking love purple

Mycroft: You're in luck, then

Iago: "I would never lose my balance. I am a paragon of grace and stability."

"Oh, yeah. Who said /that/?"

"Roshaun."

Someone help me

Iago: I cannot

Mycroft: Pffft

Mycroft: Classic Roshaun

Iago: Kit is hiding his eyes from "sex stuff" and I'm laughing

Iago: "My dog brings home strays." Kit your dog is a fucking gift

Iago: A ducking gift who knows how to work a situation to get dog treats

Iago: And...and then he gave the treat to the Yaldiv that he brought home.

Iago: Ponch is a good dog.

Mycroft: Ponch is a good dog

Iago: "What is it with these Callahan women that they're always after yelling at you and giving you grief?"

"Not always. Just when it's going to get most on your nerves."

Kit just be glad Nita isn't here because she'd sock you

Iago: Oh

Iago: Oh shit

Iago: Just head the story of the dogs' Choice

Iago: And

Iago: everything is fine

Iago: EVERYTHING IS FINE MYCROFT

Mycroft: E V E R Y T H I N G I S F I N E

Iago: "Even when people mean to do good things, bad things happen in the world."

"They're happening already. Pretending they're not won't help."

Memeki the almond spider is speaking to my soul I'm gonna go start a revolution now

Mycroft: Yes please do

Iago: ALMOND SPIDER ATTACK OH GOD

Mycroft: I'm greatly enjoying your dedication to calling the Yaldiv almond spiders

Iago: NITA AND CARMELA TO THE RESCUE FUCK YEAH

Iago: WAIT WAS THE "THING" NITA WAS SUPPOSED TO GO BACK AND GET ACTUALLY /CARMELA/?!

Iago: BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE THE FUCKING GREATEST

Iago: Also

Iago: What does it mean that Memeki was honored by the Great One

Iago: Is she pregnant

Iago: Is she being nommed from the inside

Iago: Oh. Oh shit. What does Memeki mean by "my time"

Iago: CALLED IT ASSFACES

Iago: I mean

Iago: She's not currently getting et

Iago: But

Iago: Eggses

Iago: EGGSES, PRECIOUS

Iago: ACK NO WHY WITH THE MEMORIES OF BETTY I AM NEVER PREPARED FOR THOSE

Iago: Okay apparently the thing Nita was supposed to bring was /not/ in fact Carmela but rather hEART-WRENCHING MEMORIES OF HER MOTHER'S DEATH

Iago: Oh god Carmela is yanking Kit's chain about having found a manual and I'm experiencing emotional whiplash halp

Mycroft: Carmela is dedicated to yanking as many chains as possible, the audience's included

Iago: THEY'RE ALL LOST THEIR WIZARDRY SEND HELP

Iago: ROSHAUN IS ON HIS DIGNITY SEND A DIFFERENT KIND OF HELP

Iago: *inhuman screeching*

Iago: ACK NO YOU ABSOLUTE WANKHOLE GET YOUR DIRTY POWERS OFF CARMELA

Iago: "Oops," said Carmela...and, very slowly, smiled.

Mycroft: OOPS

Mycroft: The holy grail of Carmela badass

Iago: *screams a lot*

Iago: *so much screaming*

Iago: Oh, now This Bitch is rising from the ashes, because obviously

Iago: *snarls a lot*

Iago: *basically continuous snarling*

Iago: RONAN

Iago: R O N A N

Iago: *screams forever*

Iago: *interrupts eternal screaming for a breath* oh yes Sker'ret is in fact purple *continues screaming*

Iago: ROSHAUN WHAT ARE YOU DOING

Iago: ROSHAUN

Mycroft: ROSHAAAAUN

Iago: *still screaming*

Iago: WHAT THE HAP IS FUCKENING

Iago: WHY IS THE TRANSCENDENT PIG HERE

Iago: WHY IS PONCH A SHADOW DOG

Iago: P O N C H

Iago: PONCH IS SUCH A GOOD DOG

Mycroft: PONCH IS THE BEST DOG

Iago: *cries forever*

Iago: *is also still screaming*

Iago: TOM AND CARL ARE BACK

Iago: BUT ON THE OTHER HAND PONCH

Iago: PONCH

Iago: PONCH IS BACK

Iago: HE'S A SHEEPDOG NOW BUT HE'S PONCH

Iago: TOTALLY CRYING RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS THE ANIMALS THAT GET TO ME

Iago: IT'S THE END OF THE BOOK AND THE DOG TECHNICALLY DIDN'T DIE

Mycroft: The dog did the opposite of dying, ultimately

Iago: PLEASE EXCUSE ME WHILE I COLLAPSE ON THIS BED AND SOB WITH JOY

Iago: Okay I'm going to go collapse in an emotionally exhausted heap and probably read all of A Wizard of Mars tomorrow. So. Be ready for that.

Mycroft: CONGRATS you made it to the last stop on the emotional roller coaster that is Wizards at War

Mycroft: You win a free trip to Mars

Mycroft: Where definitely nothing will go wrong

Ironwinter "You need to go." or "I don't want you." because I could use some angst please.

Is this angsty enough for you, nonnie? Because I aim to please ;D

Of all theterrible things Bucky had done, this might actually be the worst. Tony wasstaring at him in confusion, coffee cup halfway to his lips. Perhaps Buckyshould have picked a better time for this, but he wanted to get it over with assoon as possible.

“I’msorry, what?” Tony asked, but his words lacked their usual confidence.

“Isaid, we should break up.” Bucky managed to maintain eye contact, but ittook everything he had.

Tonyblinked, his coffee cup lowering. Bucky could see the walls beginning to slamshut — Tony always hid behind them when he felt insecure or hurt.

“Okay.I admit that was sudden.” Tony sounded indifferent, but Bucky knew better.It was the carefree kind of nonchalance that Tony used whenever he felt likehe’d lost control of the situation. Unsurprisingly, his boyfriend of six monthssuddenly dumping him without warning qualified as one of those times.

Witheffort, Bucky kept going, reminding himself that he had to do this. There was no other way. “Yeah, I know,”he said. “We gave it a try, but I don’t think it’s gonna work.”

Bucky hatedhimself.

Tonyswallowed — the tiniest of hint that he was coming apart — but he clearlyrefused to show any weakness other than that. The walls were up, leaving Tonylooking polite yet distant — as if he was talking to a complete stranger. Apart of Bucky would have preferred if Tony had yelled at him, but he knew thatwasn’t how Tony worked.

When he wastruly hurt or upset, Tony always went unnervingly quiet.

“Well,I guess that settles it then,” Tony replied, turning his back on Bucky onthe pretence of refilling his coffee. The cup was already full, but Tony seemedto need the distraction.

He didn’teven ask for an explanation. Bucky had one prepared, just in case, but he’d knownall along that Tony would accept Bucky’s decision to break up without complaintand simply assume it was his fault. When it came to things like these, Tonyalways blamed himself.

Buckyswallowed. “It’s nothin’ you did,” he said, trying to soften theblow, both for Tony’s sake and his own conscience. “I’m just—”

“Spareme the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech, okay?” Tony interrupted. His smilewas sharp — so sharp Bucky almost flinched. “I’ve heard it enough times toknow it really is me.”

“Tony,no. You’re wonderful—”

“Butnot wonderful enough to be your boyfriend. I get it.” Tony shrugged andcarefully maneuvered around Bucky to leave the kitchen, probably heading forthe workshop where he could lock himself away for the foreseeable future.“Honestly, you only have to say 'I don’t want you’ and I’ll get the hint.Don’t try to sugarcoat it.”

“That’snot what I'm—”

“Willyou be moving back to your own floor?” Tony stopped just inside thedoorway, face blank. “If so, I’d appreciate it if you cleared out yourthings from my room before the day was over.” Tony’s words were clippedyet polite, and he wouldn’t meet Bucky’s eyes.

“Tony,I…” Bucky fell silent, realizing it was no use; Tony had every right tobe mad at him. “Yes. I’ll get it done,” Bucky replied softly.

“Good.Now, if you’ll excuse me.” Tony left the kitchen without a second glance,his shoulders tense and head held high.

The momentTony disappeared out of view, Bucky buried his face in his hands, trying not tohyperventilate. His heart was beating loud enough to ache, but that was nothingcompared to knowing just how much he’d hurt Tony. It didn’t matter what Buckysaid — Tony would blame himself andprobably withdraw from everyone around him while he tried to regain hisbearings. That was what had happened when Pepper left him.

Buckyblinked away the tears, allowing the guilt free reign. Breaking up with Tonywas the last thing Bucky wanted, but he had to — for Tony’s sake. Thishad gone on long enough.

Why hadBucky been stupid enough to think he deserved someone like Tony? He knewwhat he had done, but he’d hoped it would never come to light — that Tony wouldnever find out. The entire time they’d been together, Bucky had been battlingthe guilt, but that had been a small price to pay for the privilege of wakingup next to Tony every morning. Theproblem was that Bucky had been selfish — far too selfish. Tony deserved to know, but Bucky had kept it from him.

Bucky regretted that now. If he’d come clean at the beginning — beforethat first, wonderful kiss in Tony’s workshop — none of this would havehappened. The anonymous emails with their attached pictures wouldn’t have hadany sway over him.

The last email had even included a video.

He’d watched himself murder Tony’s parents in cold blood, over and overand over again. That wasn’t something Tony should have to see. It was, in alllikelihood, something Tony wouldn’t be able to forgive, either. So Bucky woulddo what it took to keep that video away from Tony, even if it meant succumbingto blackmail and breaking up with him.

Tony deserved better than the cowardly liar who had killed his parents.As much as it hurt, breaking up with Tony was for the best.

“We’ll find out who’s doing this.”

The softly spoken words made Bucky look up. Steve was standing in thedoorway, his expression pained but determined — he must have been listening inon Bucky and Tony’s conversation. Or maybe it was the devastated look on Bucky’sface that made Steve appear so sad.

Bucky didn’t know when Steve had found out what he had done. He wasgrateful, though, because when Bucky came to him after the emails had startedarriving, frantic and afraid, Steve hadn’t flinched. Bucky had been surprised,he could admit — he hadn’t known Steve knew — but it had made things alot easier. He’d had someone to turn to, and someone to help him figure out hisnext course of action.

Neither of them liked lying to Tony. It hurt to go behind Tony’s back,time and time again, and Bucky knew that the longer they kept quiet, the worseit would get. He knew Tony would find out eventually — he’d realized that longago — but he still kept postponing it, not wanting to ruin the small bubble ofhappiness he’d been able to create together with Tony.

Now that was gone. Bucky’s secrets had cost him the very thing he’dtried to protect by lying, and he only had himself to blame. It was his fault. And,to make matters worse, Tony was the one who would suffer the most from hismistakes, not Bucky.

The thought of hurting Tony was unbearable.

The initial plan had actually been to tell Tony everything, but theblackmailer had put an end to that by threatening to send the video to themedia. Bucky had still wanted to tell Tony, video be damned, but Steve hadreminded him that Bucky had already had a hard time winning the approval of thepublic. A reveal of this magnitude — him having murdered Howard and Maria Stark— would cause a backlash that would be near impossible to control. Especiallyif anyone found out that Steve and Bucky had both known, but kept it from Tony.All of the Avengers would get pulled into that kind of mess, not just Bucky,and they couldn’t risk it.

And so Bucky had reluctantly agreed to find the blackmailer first, then tell Tony.

But that was before the new demand came — the one telling him he had toend his and Tony’s relationship, or else Tony and several notable reporters wouldfind that video in their inbox within a couple of hours.

The fact that he and Tony were together was public knowledge — it wasone of the things that had made Bucky’s standing with the public a little rocky— but the demand made very little sense. Bucky couldn’t understand what theblackmailer was trying to gain. What was the endgame?

He’d still done it, in fear of what would happen if he didn’t.Everything was turning into such a mess.

“Buck, we’ll solve this,” Steve said, stepping closer.

Bucky gritted his teeth, his shoulders hitching. “And then what?You think he’ll forgive me?” He glared at Steve, even if he had donenothing to deserve Bucky’s anger. In all honesty, Bucky was more angry withhimself. “I murdered his parents, thendumped him with no explanation whatsoever. Tony and I…” His throatclosed up and he had to swallow to be able to keep going. “We’re over. Ishould have told him from the start, then none of this would havehappened.”

Steve placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder and he had to fight the urge toshrug it off — Bucky didn’t deserve to be consoled. If anyone deserved support,it was Tony, not him.

“We’ll figure it out.” Steve probably hoped for his words tobe comforting, but Bucky knew they both were grasping at straws. Two weeks hadpassed without any results in their search for the blackmailer, and he hadbegun to lose hope. They didn’t even know what the blackmailer’s goal was,since Bucky breaking up with Tony couldn’t be it.

There had to be something they had missed.

One thing Bucky did know for sure was that as soon as he andSteve had found the person responsible for the blackmailing, Bucky would tellTony everything. He was done keeping secrets. Their relationship might bebroken beyond repair, but Tony deserved to know. Bucky would come clean andthen, if Tony was willing, try to salvage as much of their friendship aspossible. He didn’t dare to hope that Tony would still love him — not afterwhat Bucky had done — but maybe they could remain friends.

Even that would be more than Bucky deserved.

—

A week later, Bucky realized what he and Steve had missed.

The blackmailer wasn’t trying to hurt Bucky or ruin hisreputation — their target was someone else entirely, and had been all along.

It was Tony they were after.

—

“Bucky, don’t do this to yourself,” Steve pleaded. Buckyignored him and kept watching the surveillance video playing on his tablet.

Tony was sitting at one of the tables in his workshop, his head bentover his soldering. Tony’s feet were bare, one of his legs tucked under him —he always looked so much younger when sitting like that — and his hair wasmussed in that casual, handsome way Bucky loved.

Bucky loved many things about Tony.

U was helping, holding a magnifying glass to make it easier for Tony tosee the smaller components of the circuit board he was working on. The scenewas comforting — Bucky had seen it in person more times than he could count —and he could almost pretend, at least for a couple of minutes, that everythingwas fine.

Deep down, he knew it wasn’t, though.

Bucky watched until the flicker came — distorting the image withmisplaced pixels — a split second before the video abruptly cut off. Withouthesitation, he pressed play again, starting over. The black screen lit up andTony was back at his workbench, hunched over his newest project, with U at hisside.

“Bucky—”

“Shut up, Steve.” Bucky didn’t even feel guilty for snapping.He couldn’t take his eyes off Tony.

Heshould never have taken his eyes off Tony.

“It’s not your fault,” Steve said. There was so much pain inhis voice, and Bucky knew he should be kinder — he wasn’t the only onegrieving.

Bucky didn’t reply. Steve was wrong — it was Bucky’s fault.

He should have insisted Tony come along for the mission, even if it wasjust a simple investigation into a suspected HYDRA lair. He should haveconvinced Steve not to let Tony stay behind. He should have asked Tony to comeout of the workshop before they left, if only so that Bucky could see him onelast time.

The Avengers had been halfway to Germany when they got the news.

Even if they’d turned the Quinjet right back around — heedless of themission they were abandoning — it had already been too late. There was nothingthey could do.

According to the report, the initial explosion had nearly obliteratedtwo entire floors of the Avengers tower, and the resulting fire had destroyedwhat little might have been left. Miraculously, the fire hadn’t spread muchfurther than the topmost floors thanks to all the security measures Tony andJARVIS had put in place.

Two whole floors were gone, though — Tony’s floors — and there was noquestion about them being targeted specifically. The explosion had been causedby a bomb, not a gas leak or one of Tony’s projects going haywire.

The fact that the Avengers were now homeless, currently housed in anold S.H.I.E.L.D. base, didn’t matter half as much as the fact that those twofloors were gone — and Tony along with them.

Bucky had been told that the chances of finding Tony’s remains werelow. If the explosion hadn’t erased every single trace, the fire had. Whateverpieces that might be left would be too small, easily disappearing amongst therest of the debris.

Tony was gone.

The only thing Bucky had left was the video of Tony’s last minutesalive. He guessed he should be grateful Tony had died quickly, but knowing thatdidn’t help. It didn’t ease the heaviness in Bucky’s chest, or lighten thegrief threatening to suffocate him.

He hadn’t cried yet. Bucky wasn’t sure why. Perhaps the anger kept himgoing, or maybe he was still in shock. Hours had passed, but he hadn’t cried.If he did, it would all become real.

He wasn’t ready for that. Not yet.

Not ever.

“Did you hear me, Bucky?” Steve asked, concern lacing hisvoice. “It wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known.”

Bucky didn’t reply at first, taking a slow, deep breath. His gazecontinued to rest on Tony — a recorded ghost of the real thing, but the onlyone Bucky had left.

“I’ll kill them,” he said. “I’ll kill them all.”

There was a beat of tense silence before Steve spoke. “What?”The amount of horrified alarm in that one word was almost impressive.

Bucky gritted his teeth, hard enough that his jaw ached. “I’llfind out who did this, and I’ll kill them. Every single one.”

“Bucky, you can't—”

“I can do whatever the fuck I want,” Bucky snarled.“I’ll kill them for what they did to him.”

Fortaking him away from me.

Bucky knew Steve was upset — shaken and uncomfortable in the face ofBucky’s anger — but it was high time Steve learned. As much as both of themliked to pretend everything was like before, Bucky wasn’t the same as he hadbeen back in the day. His time with HYDRA had changed him. They could ignore itall they wanted, but he was still the Winter Soldier — with all that entailed.He wasn’t righteous like Steve, and he wouldn’t hesitate to use everything hehad learned if it meant he could avenge Tony’s death.

Bucky would do whatever it took to see justice done.

“You know I can’t let you do that,” Steve said, voice low.

The words caused a pang in Bucky’s chest — he could admit that — but hepushed it down. Putting strain on his and Steve’s friendship was the last thinghe wanted, but there were things Bucky couldn’t forgive.

This was one of them. Someone had to pay.

“I know,” he replied. Finally, for the first time since Stevehad entered the bland room Bucky had been assigned, he looked up and metSteve’s gaze. “But that won’t stop me. You won’tstop me.”

Bucky wanted revenge, and he would get it even if it meant goingthrough Steve. Failure wasn’t an option.

Steve looked pained, but didn’t reply. He probably couldn’t find thewords.

When Steve didn’t speak or move, Bucky looked back down at his tablet.Tony was still there, by his workbench, with his circuit board. His feet were bare,leg tucked under him, and his hair was perfectly tousled. For another couple ofseconds, Bucky could pretend that Tony was still out there, working on hisprojects and cooing at his bots. This was all he had.

The image crackled and cut off, the screen turning black.

Buckytook a deep breath and pressed play.

( If you want a happy ending, you can find that HERE )

Edie, Buster & Rio

Edie: *It had been a while since club nights had done anything for her. Felt like years and years, but she'd not been going out underage for that long, had she? They always got chucked out before anything could happen, because they were trying to make something, anything, fucking happen in this shitty town. Scrapping, or using the toilets for one of two (or both) unapproved activities, it was always early doors for Edie and Kai. She was pouting into her double (or was it triple?) Eyes only moving away from him to give 'don't fucking try it' looks to any girl that came within a seven-mile radius. As she sent another bitch flying, she let her gaze follow for slightly too long to see her running into another cunt's arms, literally. Oh shit. Nah? It couldn't be, could it? Fucking hell. Looks like it would be time to go Home sooner than she'd even anticipated. Kai was already jonesing and it wasn't the first time she'd use that to her advantage if needed. The blonde shrank further into her oversized clothing, making herself more invisible, at least let her finish her drink, like. Her cousin had enough female attention to not look her way, didn't he?* Buster: *He couldn't make it up, this girl coming at him how she did 'cause it was exactly the kind of brag one of his bros would hit him with on a slow night, unable to compete. She was a 7 in what she had on and the way he'd clocked her moving before this, for some other try hard cunt. His eyebrow had raised, not the attention she'd wanted but all she'd earned. It wasn't her that had him 'shook'. The other blonde, proper hunted for whenever he found himself in Dublin, but he'd not found her yet. Until now. He was sure enough that this version of Edie was there, solid enough, being only a couple in himself, owing to barstaff that'd rather flirt than serve, so likewise. No blurring or swaying. And no need for a humble brag. One of the boys was all 'isn't that...?' as if he didn't have his phone in hand sending out where he was (and more importantly THEY were) and the quickest explanation that he could use for something this unexpected like. Time wasn't on his side, 'course if she'd let herself be seen she didn't know he was here, but the cunts he was with were less subtle. Liable to shout her name or some shit once they were done grabbing each other in triumph. Fuck's sake. Drink it in idiots, he thought with a sigh, daring to glance at his phone clock just once before draining what was left in his cup. At least let him finish that before she was done with this shithole. He'd need the courage when Rio showed up and to him empty handed in every sense. Shit. Edie: *Edie watched Buster now, Kai hunched up 'round his own drink, close to her side but barely there, no matter how hard she squeezed his hand, his thigh, hung on his neck, nuzzling and biting like their pup, screaming in his ear over the shit tunes that washed over with no effect, just like shit gear. She would always pale in comparison to that need, wouldn't she? She hated him when he was like this. Hated him 'cos she loved him so fucking much and he was giving her nothing in return. Those daddy issues would always be too raw, thanks a lot dickhead. At least Kai had a valid, chemical reason. What was your excuse, Dad? More interested in Rio than you were me. Wasn't that always the way? She couldn't compete with any of her siblings, not even Indie. Ha, fucking Indie. How had they not seen that? So obvious now, in retrospect. So fucking obvious. Couldn't have possibly raised her but just a few short months later, daddy's little girl. Even gave her a similar name. A slap in the face. Edie's blood boiled, seething barely under the surface, mood only souring further as her cousin pretended like he wasn't looking at her though he so clearly was, phone in hand. Fuck you. She made a big show of waving, ridiculously animated with a stupid 'OMG fancy seeing you here!' smile on her face, before sticking her tongue out and putting up both middle fingers.* Buster: *Buster couldn't ignore her after the display made it clear he wasn't as slick as he played it every other night. Fuck it. That was what had got the family in this mess in the first place. Pretending. Seeing only what they wanted.  Worked out really fucking stellar hadn't it? He moved soundlessly closer to the space she still occupied while she still did, not bridging the gap properly 'cause backing her into a corner wouldn't mean her back to the wall. He wasn't that stupid, and hadn't be that green as a kid first putting on the gloves. All the same he had to reach out, reckon against her immediately biting back since he'd stood so ready and so unprotected. Unprepared when their eyes met. Blue on blue but the similarities ended there. His anger couldn't touch hers then, and it'd be laughable to call it a contest now. His only challenge began and ended with what happened after the stare off. Buster smirked. Standard. Why would he be fazed by any of this?* What you drinking? * He was stalling harder than he had the night before Nancy caught the plane away from him that first time, knowing that rich as they were were he couldn't buy as much time as he craved. The same desperation caught in his throat trying to choke him out. * I'll get you one, yeah? Rio: *It had been a quiet night in, becoming more and more standard for two girls who were once so rarely Home, especially not on a fucking Friday night, are you having a laugh? Attempts at normalcy made, although for the younger of the two, 15, too damn young, a quick bowl of pasta and watching shitty telly wasn't all that standard either. A stabbing reminder, another blonde little girl they'd all let down. It hurt Rio to see her when she hadn't seen Edie in, how long now? Too long, any amount of time apart from her siblings was, but really this time. But it was all she could do, keep this little sister safe, best she could. The text from Buster, his name no longer that shocking to see popping up on her screen, but the content was. She was jolted into action, action without much conscious thought behind it, just that she needed to get there, now. She gently placed a blanket over Indie, her dark brows furrowed with bad dreams, Rio kissed her lightly there, as if to kiss away the thoughts too. Auto-pilot saw her throwing a coat over her short-shorts and tank top comfies, lacing up trainers and locking their door behind her, now sprinting fast enough to rival Janis. Luckily the flat was central, and she'd been treading the path to the clubs and pubs long enough to do it blinded by the fear as she was now. It was a dull kick in the guts, knowing in her heart of hearts she was about the last person Edie wanted to see, knowing she was likely going to flee before anything could be said. And what could be said, anyway? All she wanted to do was wrap her little sister in her arms and never let go again. Take her Home and make everything okay. But how could she? Who did she think she was? She'd been the one to uncover the wound, to open her own flesh and blood up to all this anguish and rotting and...death. It had always been there, but it was benign, lurking under the layers of love and family they all thought would hold back, keep out, the bad they all knew was there but pretended to be blind too. Didn't feel a thing, they were untouchable, safe, them, family. But she'd inadvertently, (keep telling yourself that, slut), let the bad guy in. Pretend you didn't see through his 'family friend' disguise one more fucking time, bitch. Feet pounded the cobbled streets almost in time to how her heart was punching out of her useless chest. The pain radiated, feet bloody from blisters, heartache made physical from never having moved so fast. Good. It was so far from being close to what she deserved anyway. It was a start. She flew past the bouncers, no doubt offended 'cos she knew them all by name, knew their fucking wives and kids too, why hadn't she taken that time to know her sister? Maybe then she could have saved Edie. Ha, dream on, the dread that was constantly within her now, mocked nastily, as she spotted her, at the bar. She barely registered Buster expect to note that her sister, (had she always been that small? oh my God), was mocking him herself, shaking her head no to something their cousin had said, offered. Rio felt frozen to the spot, giving literally no shits that she was in everyone's way, looking an absolute mess, feeling every inch of it. She didn't know what to do. And that was the problem. What could any of them do? When sorry's didn't cut it, when too much had passed, when they'd failed her. Shame and sorrow burned through her, thawing her statue impression, pushing her bloody feet forward to beg at her little sister's. Please come Home. Please. Please. Please.* Edie- *It was said like a spell, one of Billie's incantations, to make her be real, to keep her here, with her now, as if putting a name to the face she saw everywhere she went, but never got to really see anymore, would make her sister be happy to see her. Of course she wasn't. Why would she be? Too much to ask didn't begin to cover it now. But their eyes did meet. Rio: They locked, and for one perfect second, she saw her sister mirror her, freezing them both in this moment, together, like they had been from the start; because you can't just erase 16 years worth of memories, and love and themness you just can't, fuck you Drew Goldsmith, you aren't worth it. He wasn't worth it. And that was what killed the other girl the most, she knew it, she knew it so intrinsically that it fucking killed her too. She'd give anything to have her 'real' Dad be a noble Prince, like the stories she'd weaved when they were both little, unable to be with her because he was off saving the world. But that wasn't the truth. The truth was shit. The truth was killing Edie. But just like that, the moment was gone, and so was she. A flash of blonde hair, by the time Rio was out the door, the street was empty, just drunken revelers and other stupid, waste of space people who just weren't her sister. She could feel the tears falling, pathetic, all her reactions, her body, her mind, every fucking thing 'cos she was breaking, were again out of her control, propelling her away, out of sight of the bouncer's and their 'you alright rio?'s', to the river's edge.* Buster: *He followed her instinctively 'cause it was all he could do, they'd let him down up to the point of bursting out of the club doors into the night and there was less of a guarantee again that they'd lead him any closer to where Rio was than they done with Edie at the bar. He couldn't make anyone stay, not his little sister or his other, the twin who was meant to be bound tighter to him than anyone else. Who the fuck did he think he was? He'd need to be a better man than this not to fuck his kid over just like Edie's cunt of a bio dad the way things were going with Chlo, but here he was squaring off and ready to swear down he could save his cousin from something none of them could properly fight. Fucking hell. He should turn back, queue up for his coat and piss off out of all this, but he was stubborn enough despite the every failing to still take being a cocky cunt over a coward. To believe himself important enough to not only keep up with the girl's mad dash but to overtake, stop her from whatever it was she was about to do before she managed it. He wasn't dealing with Nancy or Edie now. This was Rio and each bouncer nodding the way, laughing him on, made it sound like she was about to chuck herself in the river. Normally he'd never believe such bullshit but tonight couldn't be less standard. He'd already seen his missing cousin drinking a few punters down with his own eyes like she hadn't been months gone and every step he took closer to where the other, who wanted to vanish, was added to how fucking surreal the night had become. His arms were bare and goosebumped past his t-shirt sleeves but he didn't feel it or much of anything else. No wonder he loomed up beside the water as a ghost in expensive jeans. What was there to say or do? He was grabbing chances he wasn't owed after fucking up the first so hard and fast, burning through luck and bravado even quicker by getting here and standing useless once he had. None of this is about you, pussy. He shook his head against the dark. Going one further and calling himself a limp dick snapped himself out of it for a second. All he needed to take a shot.* Let me take you home. Rio: *She was on the rails, literally. Precarious though she weren't close to being pissed, all too unbearably sober, numbing more than the drink or narcotics ever could, feet dangling above the Liffey. She weren't usually the type of silly melodramatic bitch to note, much less run towards, parallels; but wobbling between the 'safety' of the old familiar street and the freezing relative danger of the water below, well, it felt apt. Rio groaned out loud, shaking her head with no room for self-pity, forcing a bitter laugh at herself between her hiccoughing sobs. As if she wasn't showing herself up enough (but who gave a fuck about point-scoring with Buster McKenna at this point?) she snorted, turning round to look at him, incredulous.* Where?! *She laughed again, shaking her head over and over, really going in for the hysterical fucking bitch bit, Christ. Rio jumped off the rails, faltering on a loose cobble before righting herself, at least having enough dignity left to not look like a total suicide case in front of him.* No, nah, no. I don't want to go Home. I can't. Any better offers, McKenna? *She raised a challenging brow, standing up straight, hand on hip and a seductive smirk, lips quivering as she tried not to shiver and show how freezing she was. This was about all she was good for, everyone knew that.* Buster: *Buster knew it was a piss poor offer as he made it. Fucked to be honest that he was the one making it, though yeah, (Cocky cunt alert number 2) he was near glad when she spoke up herself. There was no challenge in offering her somewhere else to go. It was what he was good for. One of the only things on a night playing out this way like. He always had cash to splash and the amount of euros his wallet held opened doors in the city that didn't have skeletons stuffed into the corners of them. Enough of all this spooky shit. Jump scares were for little kids and neither of them had the luxury of that now. He was about to be a dad and Rio had been mothering everyone for years past. He was basically the only one she didn't try and pull that shit with, even Nance got it. Doing his job for him, wasn't she? He didn't take the bait from the inner voice, too busy trying not to rise to hers. It would've been easy to fall in line, wear a smirk and use it too, keeping it big enough to push everything else aside. Talk shit loud enough to smother what he didn't know how to say, or if it was even on him to say it. Buster lied to himself for that second, all he could manage as he got closer and finally stepped up right. Let her think it was about Chlo if she wanted, he'd happily pretend that far. He wasn't going to brag about knowing better this time, she definitely didn't need to hear that now. He took a deep breath, ready for this fight, but what proved to be easy was what he did next, acting on what he felt instead, giving her what warm he had as he wrapped his arms around her. Maybe she'd take her turn at running away from it herself, that was a chance he had no choice but to take.* Rio: *For one moment, Rio truly thought Buster was going to go there, at last. The place they'd been circling around for a while now, enjoying the flickering heat of the flames licking at their heels, dancing on the line without letting themselves ever be consumed by the sin, playing a deadly game of chicken, knowing if either lost, they both were. And there would be no coming back. Given over to whatever this was. And she was ready. In that same moment, where everything else in life felt fucked or lost forever too, why not? Why the fuck not. Do it. A final childish game before things got real, a dare in the form of pushing herself hard against him as he enveloped her. But nothing. As if he was telling her in no certain terms that all she was good for was another warm body, something to hold just to take heat from, in the most basal sense, not heat as in fucking passion or anything else worthwhile. A surrogate coat on a cold night. Fuck you. 'As if I have anything left to give now! And to you of all people, you've got enough, fuck you!' She wanted to scream at him 'til he understood but she knew he still wouldn't. No one did. The only thing she was good for, taking 'care' of people, (in whatever sense you fancied, that was the other's prerogative always, of course), she'd failed at so catastrophically that she couldn't ever be that person again. For better AND worse. She had wanted him to give her the chance, to at least try in THAT way, but no, couldn't even do that right, could he? Could they? No. It was sick and she was alone in the sickness. She pushed away, as hard as she could, giving him a look that conveyed a tiny fraction of what she felt, dignified stalking off being out of the question when he knew she had nowhere to go.* Buster: Fuck's sake. *It's muttered at himself as much as it is her. More. This whole night's been a failed mission from the start, lost to him long before he'd sent the text that dragged her into it. Why the hell did he ever reckon he could change any of this? There wasn't no running from his baby mama bullshit and it didn't edge anywhere near to the PAIN she was feeling. He wasn't his sister he couldn't mold any of this blackness into an artsy print ready to be hung onto the wall in triumph of beating it. He couldn't even make it something Rio'd be able to bear looking at. Beaten down, he breathed out. The absence of coat pockets to dig into for another temporary distraction stung worse than the cold. The absence of her close by. Being in the same city again, for once, meaning fuck all in how far away she'd become to him. His side. There'd never been a bigger division between him and his cousin. He'd lost a sister too, yeah but the only years between them had been time she was gone, dulling the fact he'd ever been anything other than just a twin. There'd never even been minutes. Goodbyes coming after. He told himself that's why he'd kept it that way with Nance too, that it was how he knew dealing with what wasn't golden, but it wasn't that. He'd been too pussy to try, knowing there was nothing he could give the girl that she was after. Same as now. Everything offered came too late and that caused him shame he wanted fuck all to do with and less of a clue how regardless. He shrugged, that pretense happening before it could be stopped, a bitter taste rising up in the same moment as the lie. Poetic. Maybe his sister could have lived for this, trapping Rio's look in her mind's eye, captured in a kind of mental gilt frame, where it deserved to be, but all he had the option to do was push it aside, break away. Buster started walking, slow enough that it was clear she was meant to follow. (She had to know he'd had more distance tonight than he could swallow, engulfed as she was, didn't she?) He couldn't chance a luck back if he didn't want to stumble harder than he already had, so he lets the words drag her along. If she's coming.* Lost society it is then. *It's a joke that barely is but fuck it, it's all he's got.* Rio: *The temptation to stay behind just as another fuck you to him, was easily overridden by how much she didn't fancy standing around on a Dublin street corner on her own, barely dressed, mostly cloaked in the shadows of the ominous dark. Known as she was in this town, she wasn't known for being a fucking fool, at least. Lets both pretend that's the only reason, she thought; meeting his shrug with hers to attempt to say as much without the need for words she didn't have energy for right now; catching up to him easily enough, despite the height working in his favour, this night had clearly floored him enough too to keep them on a more level pegging. She tried to meet his gaze, as if, if she could, she'd be able to work out why. Why he cared. She knew they were family, a relatively close one at that but Buster... Hadn't he attempted to distance himself from them almost as much as Edie was now? Hmm. A simple and sure 'no' sounded somewhere deep within her; instinct. He'd been playing at it, sure, but it seemed as if he was faltering under the pressure tonight, slipping, as unsure of every step and word as she was. Edie could have that effect. Vaguely endearing but also, she couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Somehow, she still had room for that. What a mess. And not his. She should let him go and drink about it, 'til he had enough bravado back in him to 'forget' about it, get his mask back up. The shit club coming into view, Rio hung back, just out of the doorway.* I won't get in any way... *She opened up her coat enough to show him, and only him (hopefully), her tiny PJs underneath. She waved him away, some attempt at a polite small smile fading before it began, pondering what she could do now. Hope Indie was still asleep and she could drink, a lot, 'home' all alone. Sounded pathetic and apt as anything could be right now.* Enjoy yourself with the other lost souls, like, McKenna. Buster: *For a minute he was set to smirk, near genuine 'cause he'd seen girls hitting the club in less and worse both, but it didn't come. Or the shock of seeing Edie, and dealing with it, hadn't hit him hard enough still to let it. He was a lot of things, all bad when he was on that hype, but still not fool enough to wholeheartedly reckon it was anything to do with the clothes on Rio's back. There was a wad of cash in his back pocket saying different, but as soon as he thought that he turned away from it, refusing to buy the girl's way into somewhere she didn't want to be. Not lost enough yet, clearly. Buster could've frozen out there waiting for her to admit it, and might've on a different night, but almost immediately had a better idea. He shook his head, forming it in the rejection of taking his cousin back to his. Fuck that. His parents weren't the sort to head to bed early, all slippers and hot cocoa, they could still be up and in the home office for all he knew. It was just as likely they'd flown off somewhere, doing something that hadn't registered to him when they'd announced it like, but he wasn't up for taking that risk. It was a big of a no to him as it would be to Rio. * New plan. *He turned on his heel, pulling her along by her coat sleeve before she could decide she wasn't down for that either. A hotel was on the cards, like it or not, twin beds or separate suites, and whatever else it'd take to get her over that threshold to stay. The mini bar was calling his name and no amount of denials would have had him believing otherwise about her. It was in her eyes, so apparent in that brief glimpse that it would've hurt a weaker man to look at her. Meanwhile his eyes and eyebrows rise in the challenge, daring her to bullshit him with a no, however she found it. * Rio: *She didn't shout out the obligatory 'Oi!' when pulling back her sleeve sharpish, instead settling for another look that could/was intended to kill. As much as she didn't appreciate his gesture, she'd appreciate a have-a-go-hero getting involved less. The night was already on a downer, like, no need to be owing favours to a self-proclaimed 'nice guy' and apologies to her Auntie and Uncle for fucking up their golden boy's face. She'd have to sate herself with that mental image of black eyes and bloody nose outta joint for now. It was just one of those nights. Full of 'what ifs' and 'imagines'. Nothing real, nothing worthwhile. Wasn't exactly McKenna's fault, he'd got her out here on a false promise, yeah, but it was a call she would have answered from anyone, any time and anywhere, so- Hey ho. Back to scanning every crowd, going down every alley and talking to all the wrong people, in the vain hope it'd somehow mean she'd come back. Truth was, the truth they were all struggling to keep down, Edie didn't want to come back, didn't want to be with them anymore, or be Edie McKenna. And no amount of searching, hoping and praying was gonna change that. It had to be her that called it, part of Rio, a big part, wanted to respect that, it made sense after all but...It was so fucking hard to let her go. Again, she'd console herself by saying at least her sister knew they cared, that they still wanted her, needed her. She couldn't bring herself to give her any more space than Edie had already put between them, sorry, but no more baby girl. Realizing she'd been following, so lamely and obedient, in complete silence, for too long, Rio tried to be present, force herself into the here and now 'cos there was no going back, and no way forward as of yet so- here they were. Like it or not, (and they'd pretend the jury was still out on that for old time's sake), they were spending the night together one way or another. On a normal night, she'd have at least told him to fuck off but as silently agreed, it was not a normal night. She settled for shaking her head, letting out an exaggerated sigh.* Need to get you a better girlfriend, McKenna. Get you off my dick, like. You're obsessed. *She blew a kiss, fake it 'til you make it always, making a point to stride out ahead of him.