#on the other: nobody would want to do it like me (self-deprecating)
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One of the many things I really admire about you is how you DO things. You want to make a comic, you do it. You want to make an edit, you go and do it. You wanna do gifs, you figure out how to do it. You're constantly setting a goal and seeing it through and learning and growing as you go. And I admire that so so much because that's honestly not easy (at least it isn't for me). And I just wanted to let you know that
WOW I’ve never received an ask that made me pace around the room so much!! Thank you for telling me!! Forgive me for rambling in this response but I want to talk about the creation process a little bit— at least how I personally experience it.
Every project, no matter how large or small, is largely a fight between vision and pain. If my vision beats out my pain, I finish the project; if the pain becomes too unbearable, I hit the bricks (willingly or not).
Pain can mean a lot of things. It can mean frustration and dissatisfaction with your work in progress— a lack of technical skill that you can visibly see. It can mean the fear of ruining your vision by putting it down on paper. It can be the feeling that what you’re doing doesn’t matter. And in the context of this ask especially, it can be running headlong into wall after wall while learning how to use a new software.
I suck at learning new software. The learning curve for me is often so steep it feels untenable at times. Why can’t I do the simplest things? Why can’t anyone teach it to me in a way I can understand? I don’t even know if this YouTube video will teach me what I want to learn. And you’re saying I’ve got to watch 20 minutes of it to even see if it’s what I’m looking for?
I need you to know that for everything even remotely complete, even if it’s a work in progress, is built on a mountain of failures, of incomplete works, of past trials and tribulations. What I have of the music video for the SCP antimemetics division, built painstakingly in one of the most inaccessible and unfriendly video editing softwares, AVIUtl, dragged itself out of earthen trenches so that my music video for Pathologic could crawl pathetically. And that paved the way for the bits and pieces of the Kekkaishi music video, which walked so that the things I do for BIRDMEN could run.
I don’t think it’s really as simple as saying, “You want to make a comic, you do it.”
I think if I had never done any comics before in my life, I’d be so fucking frustrated with the process. But because I’ve been drawing comics since middle school, because I drew things and gave up and drew more things and gave up more, I was able to learn the language of comics by the time I entered high school, and by the time I entered college I had fought tooth and nail to learn how to use digital art softwares (I sulked a lot about this. I hated that everything I learned about making manga traditionally became essentially obsolete. I sulked soooo much about it it was unreal. don’t be like me).
That’s why I could finally, at that point, after almost 6 or 7 years of drawing, finally finish a 16-page oneshot for the first time in my life. Because I had hundreds and hundreds of pages of shitty pencil sketches of catgirls and schoolboys and what have yous. And knowing I could do that let me push myself further. I said to myself, I bet I could draw a story longer than 16 pages. I bet I could draw a story that’s 100. And I did. I had to sacrifice vision so I wouldn’t encounter so much pain, but I did it. And that’s why I think I can draw 600 pages now. Because it doesn’t hurt so much anymore, these days.
That’s not to say that drawing comics for me is an entirely painless process. It just means that the only thing I’m fighting is my self-esteem and perfectionism for the most part. I think my technical skills won’t fail me, not for panelling, not for compositions, not for art. It’s all about convincing myself that what I’m doing is worth it. Not the easiest, but certainly much less painful than having to fight that PLUS technical woes.
I think I understand what you’re going through, just a little bit. Maybe you don’t experience things exactly as I do, but I think you’re going through a lot of pain right now. That you have a vision, but you have trouble carrying out, whether it’s because of technical issues, unfamiliarity with the medium, a fear of beginning something you won’t end up finishing, or something else entirely. I don’t have too much sage advice for what to do here, but I want to assure you that what I do isn’t nearly as effortless as you might perceive it to be.
I want to take this chance and say to you that just from looking through your archives I can see that you’ve improved so so so much over the years. You draw often, you do lots of character design work, you’ve got a lovely and distinctive style. I know you mentioned one time that you wanted to draw a webcomic— and I say do it! Just dive into it.
The reason it took me so long to get to my level of competence in comics is because I had to reverse engineer a lot of shit. I used to draw things panel by panel, until I wanted a 2-page spread and realized, “Shit! I have to plan and pace out my story so that everything before the 2-page spread comes to a neat end on the left-hand page!” I used to freehand dialogue until I grew so frustrated with the fact that conversations seemed to constantly go off the rails that I realized, “Yikes, I gotta script this out beforehand...”
And so on and so forth. And maybe you’ll feel like you’ve wasted time and love on something that isn’t good, but just DOING things will teach you so, so much. It’s okay if what you make is bad. You can always start over, do it better this time.
This offer goes out to you, but really it goes out to any of my mutuals— if you ever want to talk about making stuff, whether it’s illustrations or writing or storyboarding, I’m always down. Whether you want technical advice or simple encouragement, feel free to reach out to me. I love seeing what other people are doing, and I know it’s really frustrating and scary to feel out a path by yourself when you feel like you don’t really know what you’re doing.
Art is so scary. It’s so painful. But even so, we can’t help but want to carry through with it, right?
#just thinking thoughts...#asks#confused-beany#waugh you changed your url!!#ohh... sorry for saying so much. but I've been thinking about this too lately.#chorus is actually very very painful to me.#from a technical standpoint it's not difficult. but I find it really hard to pick my pencil up sometimes.#even though I think it's so cool and awesome.#I'm just afraid other people won't feel the same you know?#on one hand: NOBODY can do it like me (hubristic)#on the other: nobody would want to do it like me (self-deprecating)#it's a hard knock life. but I'm holding your hand#if you want to talk btw. discord is the best place. dms are open!
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🌸 Bucky Barnes is tired of you thinking your nobody’s choice and he shows you how much you matter to him. Can be SFW/NSFW (haha last request from me love your responses by the way☺️)
Bucky makes sure you know you're his first choice - Headcanons (NSFW) ❤️
Content Warnings - 18+, smut, kissing, implied sex, foreplay, swearing.
*************
- Bucky knows you've been struggling with your confidence lately. You've made a few self-deprecating comments here and there, and he's intent on proving to you that you could never be second choice, at least not for him.
- Hovering over you as you kissed, the soldier made his way down your body, starting at your head and moving lower, paying focus and attention to every inch of you. Having a metal arm of his own, Bucky knew what it was like to wage a mental war with your own body, and he never wanted you to feel this way.
- Peppering soft, wet kisses across your forehead, down your nose, to each cheek, and to your mouth, he intertwined his tongue with yours passionately. "Mmm, you taste so good Doll~" He mumbled into your lips. "And do y'know how cute this face is?" Squishing your blushing cheeks in his hand, he gazed into your hues with hungry eyes of his own.
- Lowering himself, he trailed sloppy kisses down your neck, licking and nipping at your sweet spot. Smirking as you began to whimper underneath him, he would tease you. "With cute moans like that, how could I resist you Doll?"
- Attaching his mouth to your chest, the brunette set his sights on your breasts, nipples already hardened in arousal. "Oh gorgeous..." He cooed, grasping your left one in his palm. "See. Perfect. Fit so well into my hand..." Massaging it gently, he chuckled before using his tongue on the other, licking circles around your nipple. "So fuckin soft Doll, all mine."
- And finally, making sure to kiss over your belly along the way, he made his way to your dripping folds. His fingers brushing your entrance, the avenger couldn't help but groan at how wet you were. "Such a beautiful pussy..." He whispered, his greedy stare almost admiring it. "I'd choose it again and again if I had too... can't get enough..."
- Bucky placed a sucking kiss to your clit before kneeling up beside you, hastily undoing the buckle of his belt as he eyed your core. "Still don't believe me Doll?" He baited, exposing his hard length. Positioning himself at your hole, he hovered above you, leaning down to rasp domiantly in your ear. "Then let me prove to you, that you are, and always will be, my first fucking choice..."
#bucky barnes#marvel#marvel x reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky smut#bucky barnes smut#bucky x reader smut#bucky barnes x reader smut#bucky barnes headcanons#bucky headcanons#bucky smut headcanons#bucky barnes smut headcanons#marvel headcanons
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Giving the Brothers the Cold Shoulder After an Arguement
Warnings: self-deprecation and allusions to depression (Levi)
Summary: After getting into a heated arguement with your demon partner, you decide ignoring them is the best way to handle it. When do forced to interact you remain cordial but it's obvious to anyone you aren't letting up.
Lucifer; Mammon; Levi; Satan; Asmo
Lucifer
Two can play that game. If you think Lucifer, the representation of pride himself, is going to break and come crawling back to you? You've got another thing coming.
He's more than willing to reflect your withdrawn attitude, and he does it exceptionally well. If nobody knew about your relationship prior they would think you're just mere acquaintances.
Of course, he will keep up the appearance of formality by engaging in minimal conversation like, "MC, would you pass the salt?", "Diavolo mentioned he wanted you to attend today's council meeting.", "Don't you think it's too late for you to be roaming the halls?"
But nobody can miss the ruby glare, that he convinces himself is subtle, he sends your way every time.
Unfortunately it will take awhile for Lucifer to get over his ego enough to properly address the situation. The more stubborn you are at ignoring him, the more irritated he gets, and the more determined he is to keep the apathetic facade up.
It's the accumulation of small things that eventually get him to reconsider. How empty his bed feels when you're not in it. How listening to music isn't nearly as relaxing without his human leaning their head on his shoulder. How the coffee tastes bitter when not prepared by you. How your avoidant gaze makes his heart sink.
His brothers, and even Diavolo, can feel the anger seeping through his skin as they would get the brunt of it.
After a surprisingly long amount of time, Lucifer will break. He'd make up some valid excuse that involves you visiting his study, and once you go in he will make sure you are not getting out. Not until you hear him out.
"How much longer are you planning on handling this like a child?! Is this how you deal with confrontation? By avoiding it?"
The demon catches himself and his stern glare almost instantly turns into a regretful pout. He recognizes it's his pride and ego that got you both to this point with a shake of his head. He stares at the floor for a few beats before lifting his head up with furrowed brows.
"I... I'm sorry. It's not your fault. I never thought I would be affected by some human ignoring me but this only made me realize you're not just some human to me. I should've insisted we talk about this properly before resorting to this. So, would you allow me to make things right? Let's talk... I can't bare to be apart from you like this."
Mammon
He's quick to pout and exaggerate how much he's ignoring you back. Verbally.
"Pfff, as if I'd care if MC doesn't wanna talk ta me. Can someone tell them how much I'm ignoring them and how I dont wanna see their stupid face ever again? 'Cause I don't!"
It only lasts for a day. It takes Mammon going up to your door, about to break in and excitedly drag you out somewhere, as usual, until it hits him that oh shit. You're still meant to be mad at each other. His hand hovers over the door knob for a bit until he sulkingly leaves.
Getting ignored by you is honestly killing him. As much as he tries to act like he doesn't care, it's beyond obvious how much he's trying to get your attention back. The lingering looks and his overall childlike whining is more than enough to indicate he is missing you. His brothers are beyond tired of his complaning, too.
He can't restrain himself from busting your door down and demanding you stop giving him the cold shoulder. It's been three days! Surely you aren't mad at him anymore and you can go back to cuddling, right?!
"C'mooooon, MC! I'm sorry I made ya mad, I'll make up fer it! Anythin'! So just stop ignorin' me already.. I miss you."
He's aware of how desperate he's being and it makes him red from embarrassment, but he'd rather be honest than go through this torture. He'll keep one in mind to be more considerate in the future so it wouldn't resort to him being avoided by you ever again.
Leviathan
Levi's the one who would take it the hardest out of everyone. Boy's self-esteem is fragile enough as it is and getting ignored by you would just shatter whatever remainder he had of it. Don't expect to see him out of his room for awhile.
Henry's getting a front row seat to Levi's self-deprecation galore. Of course he made you so mad you don't want to talk to him! He's surprised you even spent time around him in the first place! Why did he ever think you'd stick around his gross, annoying, socially inept otaku self? He did this to himself, right, Henry?!
At this point Levi's forgotten what you two even argued about; he's too busy holing himself up in his room and trying to distract racing thoughts with games and anime. It doesn't feel the same without his player two though. He's just going through the motions without paying full attention to what he's playing/watching.
It goes on for a week or so until one of the brothers has to step in and convince you to go check up on him. As mad as you are at him still, everyone knows you're the only one Levi will answer the door to. He's been falling behind on his assignments, not even coming out for meals (thanks to his snack stash).
You're surprised to find his door unlocked. You spot him in his bed/bathtub, clutching at a pillow, looking absolutely miserable. He lifts his head up to chew you out for bargning in until he realizes it's you. He gets up so suddenly he almost falls over.
"M-MC?? What are y-you doing here?! Did my brothers send you here...? Because I know you'd rather die than see me; I screwed up so you're finally tired of me. You don't have to try to make me feel better. Just go tell them I'm fine."
Just looking at him makes you feel bad, no matter how pissed you were. It takes a lot of convincing that you do not wish he was dead and that you just want to talk. Levi will be apologizing every few words, possibly cry, but after a thorough conversation he will calm enough to reevaluate what started this.
Satan
Satan will be furious enough during your heated exchange as it is; so much so he would force you out of whichever room you're in so you don't have to witness him tearing it to shreds. He's already feeling guilty for losing his composure around you but after you start ignoring him completely??
Man's going to need a two hour session of letting out pent up rage in his room every day this goes on for. Of course, he will not let any of it show in public. Especially around you.
Much like the eldest, he will remain cordial with you. Not so much to save face as to prove that he is a-okay without you, and that this doesn't bother him at all. Even though he is absolutely not okay and it bothers him to an absurd degree.
Unlike Lucifer, however, it takes him much less time to swallow his pride and talk to you. He recognizes you're both dealing with a silly arguement in your own childish way and have to deal with it by having a civilized conversation.
Definitely not because he looked up heaps of books and resources on couple disagreements and how to fix them.
"Listen. This has gone on for far too long, so don't you think it's about time we settle this? I'm sorry I lost my temper. It wasn't right of me. I don't like this distance we have right now.. let's fix it. I will hear you out properly this time. As long as you can do the same for me."
Surpsingly very mature and understanding about not just the cause of the arguement, but why you chose to avoid him. He promises to do better and give you both time to cool down if you were to ever have an arguement again so it doesn't end in you taking these drastic measures.
Asmodeous
This is just a phase, right? You were just being overdramatic in the moment and you'll be back to showering him with attention soon! Right? How could you stay mad at his beautiful face for long?
Asmo will delude himself into believing the above so strongly. He will continue to act as he normally does around you, all cuddly and affectionate, thinking your attitude is you just playing hard-to-get.
"Awwww, cmon, MC! You can stop acting upset now! Although your pouty attitude is really cute~"
When you keep making it clear you want nothing to do with him for the time being, the avatar of lust is internally shattering. He thrives off of your attention. Having it taken away is worse than withdrawal. Not that he will make it obvious the first few days.
Seeing that clinginess isn't helping him, he will attempt to make you jealous by alluding to his fanbase and how lucky any one of them would be to have him. Ironically this backfires as it turns you even colder to him. He is at a loss and at his breaking point. What else can he possibly do?!
It all boils down to Asmo getting tipsy at a party one night and seeking you out. Crying, clinging to your clothes, blubbering about how lonely he is without you, and what he would do to get your grace back.
"Darling, please!! I miss you so much, I don't think I can take it! I love you so so much, just please look at me in the eyes again! You still love me more than anything, right? Whatever I did to make you mad I'll show you I didn't mean it! Just let me. I want to feel your love again... can't be myself without it."
It's a shame he has to be under the influence to spill what he's really thinking, but it manages to soften your resolve enough. Expect to get pampered and spoiled to hell for weeks as that's his way of making things right.
#obey me#obey me imagines#obey me x reader#obey me x mc#obey me headcanons#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me levi#obey me satan#obey me asmo#lucifer x reader#mammon x reader#leviathan x reader#satan x reader#asmodeus x reader#obey me shall we date
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Hi. So this is my request.
Tenya Iida x reader where the readers parents kick them out because they want to be a hero and are in UA. Then they just show up at Tenyas door in the pouring rain to ask if they could sleep at his house for a night. And Tenya is just so 😠mad. Protective Tenya activated.
so sorry that this took me ages to get out! I had no motivation for months and am finally attending my drafts and rebranding lol! so here's the first of many to come ♡♡
warnings: emotional abuse, reader is kicked out by their parents, self-deprecating and unhappy thoughts
SFW, fluff, angst but not really, mostly comfort.
I should have been a doctor, I thought. My clothes clung to my body, skin prickled with goosebumps as I collapsed onto the ground. The unsigned, now drenched, permission form was bunched in my fist, my nails digging into my skin.
“Why would we sign this?” My mother’s voice was ringing through my mind as I recalled tonight’s events. “Just so you to go kill yourself for some dream?”
“Stupid,” I scolded myself. The cold rain only picked up as I began to cry, choked sobs being drowned out by the pouring rain.
“If you don’t want to give up on this silly dream then leave!” My father slammed his fist down on the table as he spoke. “I don’t want some mediocre hero claiming to be my child. Go play hero somewhere else.”
I took a deep breath, eyes shutting tightly to blink away my tears. “This is pathetic,” I said to nobody. My hands rubbed the tears off my face, replacing it with mud from the ground.
I stood, legs tired. I didn’t even think to look at where I was going, just running as fast and far as I could. I looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings, the only light coming from the streetlights. I patted around, luckily smacking something hard and rectangular shaped, my phone.
I pulled it out, 3% battery remaining. Quickly I pulled up my GPS, trying to see where I was and what the closest place to go was. I’d run close to UA, luckily. Perhaps I could see if anyone was still there, although unlikely.
I tried looking around more, finding a familiar street name. Tenya’s street, I thought. Something inside me sank, dreading just showing up at his doorstep, soaking wet with tears and mud staining my cheeks. But it was the only place to go, and I trusted him more than anyone else in my class.
The walk wasn’t very long, but it felt like forever. The rain only worsened, I would definitely be getting sick. By the time I got to Iida’s street, my phone died. I continued, walking up the street and stopping at the mailbox reading IIDA. A light was on inside, I could see in the dining room. Tenya sat there with his family, eating dinner. They were smiling, even laughing as his older brother said something, a huge grin on his face.
I took a deep breath before walking up to their door. I stood for a moment, enjoying the roof over my head before shutting my eyes and raising my fist.
KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK
I took a step away from their door. Eyes willing themselves to open and hands behind my back, gripping my wrists tightly in anticipation.
A few footsteps came from the otherside before their dark blue door swung open. A woman, blue eyes and black hair, answered with a smile. I opened my mouth for a moment but said nothing. As she studied me, I could see her smile fade lightly and her face contorted into confusion.
Tenya came up behind her, his brother following behind. His blue widened after seeing me, hand going to the woman’s shoulder and leading her out of the way.
“Tenya,” was all I could manage for now. “Hi.”
The girl and Tenya’s brother shared confused looks, then left us alone. Tenya stepped out onto the porch, hand immediately flying to my forehead.
“You’re cold,” he said. “What’re you doing out in this weather?”
“Can I stay here?” I asked him softly, “just for the night.”
His head tilted, eyes focusing on me. “Sure,” his hand slipped into mine before he used the other to open his door again. He pulled me in, shutting the door behind us.
“Stay here,” he told me, gesturing to the welcome mat I stood on. I looked at my feet, wet socks leaving dark wet marks on the fabric. Shit, I thought. Forgot shoes.
The woman peaked from the dining room archway. Tenya’s brother tugging on her shirt, “leave them be, mom.” He whispered. I didn’t look over at them, too embarrassed to look. Instead, I studied the inside of his home. The beautiful stairs leading to the second storey, their living room to the left of me, their dining room on my right. Bookshelves lined their walls, golden trimmed books glittering in the light of their entrance chandelier.
It wasn’t long before Tenya came back, a grey bath towel with him. He put it around my shoulders, telling me to dry off before he disappeared into the dining room. I pulled the warm towel to myself, covering my face with it in embarrassment. My legs started shaking as my thoughts wandered, tears threatening again.
I could hear light whispering from where Tenya had gone, a woman’s voice questioning, then Tenya’s voice answering. I inhaled sharply, willing my arms to move so I could dry off before he came back.
Tenya’s footsteps approached, I kept my gaze limited to the floor, my hair blocking the view of anything else, rain lightly dripping down to the mat. I felt my cheeks burning.
“Come upstairs,” his voice was calm, understanding. “You need to get out of those clothes, take a bath.”
I only nodded and let his hand grip mine, letting him guide me upstairs, turning a few corners and into his bathroom.
“I’m going to start a bath, okay?” He waited for my nod before turning on the water.”Feel this, tell me if it’s too hot.”
I stepped towards the bathtub and reached my hand into the water, “it’s good.”
He sat on the edge of the bathtub while it filled up, hand still in the stream of water to regulate the temperature.
“Do you wanna tell me why you’re here?” He asked. His voice was soft, not an ounce of annoyance or grievance coming out.
“I was kicked out,” I spoke. “No more home for me, I guess.” The light chuckle that left my lips turned to a sob and I quickly breathed deep to stop the impending breakdown from happening.
“What?” His voice now sounded slightly angry, but still filled with kindness. “Why would your parents do this?”
I didn’t say anything, still trying to hold back my tears. I only shrugged my shoulders pathetically as an answer, and he turned the tap off and stood up.
“Take a quick bath, you can use anything you’d like in here. I’ll wait outside so just knock once you’re done and I’ll bring you some clean clothes, okay?”
I nodded again, then he left. I let the tears fall from my eyes the moment the door shut. The towel fell from my shoulders and I sniffled back as I peeled the clothes off my body. Stepping into the steaming water, skin tingling as it enveloped me, I finally let myself cry. The water smelt of my favourite scent, something I assumed Tenya added while filling the tub.
I dipped down, fully submerging myself into the water and coming back up for air. I curled into a ball, arms reaching for the bottles of soaps and creams on the tub corners. I started reading what they were through blurry eyes.
Birch scented shampoo and conditioner, moisturizing body wash, shea butter body scrub. I used the scrub, rubbing it up my arms and silently crying.
I took a long bath, testing out every product on his bathtub. I heard his brother come to say goodnight to him, asking if I was okay and then leaving once Tenya told him I would be. His mother came to say goodnight with his father, asking what was wrong and asking if I would be here for breakfast tomorrow morning.
After a while, the water had turned cold and the bathroom smelt like a mix of Tenya. I reached into the tub, pulling its plug and reaching for the towel. I dried my feet off first, stepping onto the tiled floor and then rubbing the rest of my body until it was slightly dry, no longer dripping everywhere.
I walked up to the door, giving it three light taps.
“Can I come in for a moment?” Tenya’s voice came.
“Sure.”
The door handle turned and Tenya walked in, handing me a small pile of warm clothes and then leaving, closing the door shut behind him.
I dressed myself, then stepped into his hallway. He’d given me dark blue sweatpants and a matching hoodie, both too big for me. I had to pull the drawstring of his sweatpants tightly and tie them into a bow.
Tenya was waiting in the hallway, leaning against the wall dressed in his pajamas. When I stepped out he quickly turned to me, eyes landing on mine as I finally looked up at him.
“Did you eat dinner?” He asked quietly. I shook my head, no. “Follow me.” He led me down the hall and into his bedroom, which had the bedside lamp on. A mug of hot tea and bowl of soup were placed alongside the lamp, and glass of water with them. He had set up a mattress on the floor of his room, blankets and sheets fitted on it.
I started to walk towards it, but was caught by Tenya. “No, you take the bed tonight. Have some soup too, please.”
I turned to him. “Tenya, I can’t take your bed. I’ll be fine on the floor.”
“Please,” he begged. I gave in, walking to the bed and gesturing to him that he sit beside me. I sat cross legged as he handed me the bowl of soup.
“They don’t like me being a hero,” I managed in between spoonfuls of soup. “Not good enough for them.”
He looked at me. “You don’t need to explain if you don’t wish to,” he said.
“It’s okay, that’s really all they said.” I lied. My mother’s shrill scream of, “don’t bother coming back until you can say you’re done disappointing this family,” ringing in the back of my mind.
I wished I could fool him, but the look in his eye was showing his true disbelief in my lie. His face was left with a frown, teeth chewing on the inside of his lip while he thought.
“How could you not be good enough for them?” He asked quietly, but not low enough that I missed it. “You’re an excellent student, an even better hero. You save lives, and it’s not good enough for them?” His voice was starting to rise slightly, anger lacing his tone.
“Iida please,” I tried to get him to lower his voice. “It’s really not a big deal, they just don’t like heroes, that’s all.”
“A parent is supposed to be a hero, someone who uplifts their kid’s dreams and supports them.” He was at a normal voice level now, his navy eyes locking with mine. “How could they kick you out over your dreams?”
“My parents aren’t like yours,” I whispered to him, “they don’t understand, just please keep it down.” My hand found its place on his before I knew what was happening and he froze slightly, eyes flickering down to his hand before looking back up at me.
“You’re amazing,” he whispered. “Just know that. I would’ve died a million times if you hadn’t helped me.”
I smiled at him, “thank you.”
“Now please finish your soup, it’s late and if you don’t warm up you’ll catch a cold.”
"Okay."
please take some time to view my masterlist or navigation pages.
#mha fluff#bnha fluff#mha angst#bnha angst#tenya iida#iida tenya#tenya iida x reader#iida tenya x reader#iida x reader#tenya x reader#angst#fluff#pluto’s asks 🌙
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Stubborn Brat
Warnings: none, it's fluffy. (Cutesy and shit)
Valentine's Day. The worst holiday ever to be made to mankind.
Every year, it never fails to disappoint me.
No one will ask me.
I push out of my self-deprecating thoughts and go to my last class; My free period. During my free periods I go to the lacrosse field to read, but today, the lacrosse team was out there practicing for the big charity game that's coming up. "Hey, Sti," I yell as I wave as he runs toward me. He was out of breath, sweaty hair matted to his forehead. He looked hot, and I always teased him for it. I smirk at him, "Oh my bad, I didn't not Mister Hottie was out to play today," I joke.
Stiles rolls his eyes and points to his water bottle. It was a Mets bottle with the printed signatures of the team. I had gotten it for him years ago when I learned he liked them. I was 10, and I saved up and got him it and asked him to be my friend. He immediately accepted my offer and jumped on me screaming that I was the best.
I grab the famous bottle and toss it to him. He squirts the water in his mouth and some on his face. "Thanks" he mumbles before wiping his face from water and sweat. So, what's your plan for this stupid Valentine's Day?"
I glare at him in response. I plopped my body down onto the bench, and I couldn't help but notice his eyes watching my breast. Great day to wear a deep V-neck, I thank my morning self. "I was hoping to hang out with my best friend," I say in a teasing annoyed voice. I was talking about Stiles. "But it seems he doesn't want to," I add feigning annoyance, teasing him.
Stiles laughs and playfully elbows my side. "You know you're the only person I'd like to hang out with today, you brat," he chuckles, with a playful grin. He sits down with me, placing his bottle back in his bag. Then he pulls my body toward him. I laugh and lay my head on his shoulder. "What do you want to do today?"
I blow a raspberry and look at him. My eyes had a playful glare to them. I knew we couldn't do what I wanted to do, mostly because I was too scared to tell him that I liked him. "I have no idea." I think a bit before adding. "Maybe we can watch that princess movie you talked about yesterday."
"The Princess Bride?" he asks as he wraps his arm around me with a content smile. "Sure, I'd be more than happy to rewatch it with you. However, I think this movie is more of a date movie. You don't have any boyfriends you could watch it with instead?"
I glare at him and then sigh. I squint my eyes after a few seconds. "You know damn well I don't have a boyfriend, Stiles," I grumble. I take a breath before adding to that. "My standards are too high and I'm pretty much a nobody," I laugh. I poke his side and ask him something. "What about you? Do you have anyone you wanna ask to be your Valentine?"
We laugh together as he shakes his head. "I'm in the same boat as you, honey," he sighs breathily as he wraps his other arm around me, ultimately scooting me closer to him. "If I could ask anyone it would be you."
As he says this he glances down at me with weary eyes, his brown doe-like eyes staring straight into mine. I shudder. All of a sudden my mouth runs dry. Did he just say what I think he just said?
After that brief pause, my eyes widened. "Really? You'd ask me?" I choke out. A beat of silence goes by, I fill it up with more words. "Well, what's stopping you?"
Stiles gives me a hearty chuckle, the famous curve of his lips returning. He glances at Scott in the distance and Scott gives him a thumbs-up with a cheeky smile.
Stiles sighs and moves hair out of my face with his slender fingers. I couldn't say anything more. I couldn't bring myself to do so. He had always moved hair out of my face, but this time it felt different. More intimate. I want him to do it again.
"You're my best friend; I don't want to mess it up... I couldn't bear losing you."
I think for a moment, my emotions being displayed on my face: anxiety, excitement, relief, and hope.
"Why don't we make a promise? That whatever happens... if it doesn't work out, we will work it through and continue being friends?" I ask softly. Hopeful. My voice cracked as I spoke with such anxiety I never thought I could experience.
Stiles' mouth runs dry in return. After a second he nods his head once. "If you promise to sell be my friend, no matter what, then I would be happy to ask you to be my valentine," he reiterates softly.
"Even through ash and dust, Stiles. I promise," I answer immediately. I smile cup his face into my small hands and kiss his sweaty forehead. "You aren't getting rid of me. I did hard work to be friends with you... I had to beg for weeks to get my uncle to give me a copy of his Mets signatures. Then get that on a water bottle. I didn't do that for nothing," I smirk playfully.
Stiles hums happily and returns the forehead kiss. I gush, blood rushing to my face as he began to speak. "You were always a stubborn brat," he chuckles, wrapping you in a tight hug. I feel his heart beat quickly, his breath quickening as he holds me in his arms. This is a core memory, I thought as I stared back into his beautiful brown eyes.
"Now I'm your brat," I whisper nervously.
"My brat," he hums deeply, still hugging me tight. "You know you're really cute when you act like a brat?" He asks as he leans his head against mine. He loosens his hug before squeezing a few times to show affection.
"That's because I'm me and you just think I'm cute, regardless of the way I act," I voice in joking confidence as I flip my hair in dramatic.
He laughs, rolls his eyes, and glances at Scott that was on the field. I glance at Scott as well. "True; I think you're cute whatever you do. Especially when you're angry. Basically... you're cute when you're being a pain in the ass as well," he teases as he rubs my lower back reassuringly.
"Me being a pain in the ass makes things interesting and you know it!" I blurt laughing loudly, causing a few people to stare.
"Eyes off her, Lahey," Stiles Barks angrily.
"Yeah yeah, I know, she's yours, blah blah," I hear in the distance from Isaac. "I heard the conversation," he grumbles as he waves his hand to get Stiles off his back.
"Are you going to be more protective like that? If so, let all of it go because that was hot," I say honestly, a smirk on my face as I continue to watch Stiles glare at Isaac walk away. Stiles was taken aback and slowly turned his head down to me. "Of course, you would like that, you practically fangirled when Kylo Ren had a temper episode."
I cut him off with a scoff. "He is hot and you know it, Kyle Ren and Annikan are two beautiful men that me and other women would gladly kneel for!" I explain in a loud whisper. There was no way I could scream that without people judging me.
Stiles shakes his head with a smile. "What if I said Leia is hot, hmm? Or Rey?" He asks sassily.
I stand my ground and agree with a hum. "I would agree with you, those two women are also very hot." He looks at me for a second, opens his mouth, then snaps it shut. I shrug at him with a "Don't ask, I don't know either but I stand by what I said" face.
"STILINSKI, GET YOUR ASS BACK ON THE FIELD AND STOP EMBARRASSING YOURSELF IN FRONT OF THAT GIRL," Coach screams across the field.
I giggle and whisper in Stiles' ear. "I can kiss you to show him you aren't embarrassing yourself if you'd like." He nods immediately. "Cheek or lips?"
"Lips," he says with heart eyes. I stand quickly and pull him up.
"STILINSKI," Coach yells again.
I take a step closer to Stiles, grabbing his hands and interlocking them. I stand on my tippy toes and lean up to kiss him. Multiple eyes were on me, and I was nervous, but as soon as his lips touched mine there was nothing. Nothing but me and my best friend.
I pull back with a smile, my lips wet from the kiss. "Go practice, soldier," I laugh at his hearty expression. He salutes, "Yes Sergeant," he yells.
"I'm not in Rotc anymore, dipshit," I laugh. He shrugs and pecks my lips a few times, humming between them and going back for more. I mess up his hair and shove him off. "Go practice, dummy!"
After practice, Stiles came running to me and squeezed me so tight I struggled to breathe. "Alright strong me, I need air," I struggled to speak. He let me go, apologized and kissed my face everywhere. "I missed my girl," he whispers to me.
"You were just here like 30 minutes ago," I laughed, kissing his cheek back briskly.
He gave me a look like I was dumb. "You just gave me the best kiss of my life and told me to go; our first kiss, to be specific. Of course, I'm going to miss you. I'd miss you if I didn't see you for 10 seconds," he shrugs, leaning his chin on my shoulder.
"You're a dork."
"And you're a brat."
"Brat tamer."
"Nerd."
"Dumb-head."
I gasp at him playfully. "You take that back! I am not a dumb-head," I exclaim with a playful hurt pout.
Scott walked passed us saying: "Yeah, that was uncalled for, Stiles." Scott had a playful grin on his face and Stiles shoved him before returning to hug me.
"Give me another kiss and I'll think about taking it back," Stiles smirks down at me. Scott raises his eyebrows and covers his eyes.
I laugh at the two dorks. I cup Stiles' chin and guide his mouth to connect with mine. Once again, I forgot that other people were near. I only realized that there were people near when I heard some of the lacrosse team members cheer for Stiles. I pull back with a smile, breaking into a laugh at the childish team members I've grown to be familiar with and adore. "Shove off Greenburg, Johnson, Garcia, Austin, you too, don't think you're hidden behind the bench," I laugh, using the member's name.
"You're not allowed to call him Austin, it's Vaught."
I roll my eyes at Stiles and glance back to Austin. "Vaught, shove off." I then look back to Stiles and ask with sass, "Better? Pretty boy?" He nods quickly and pecks my lips, humming with approval and kissing it again and again. "Stiles!"
"I'm sorry," he laughs. I smack his ass, something I do all the time. He squeaks in and runs with Scott as well as his team members who were waiting for him to go to the locker room. I watch him laugh and jump on Scott's back. A few of the members jumped on his back as well and ended up dog-piling. "Boys! Go shower, y'all stink!" I laugh. A few of them laugh and call me mom and I just flip them off.
This was fun to write. And so cute as well. I hope you enjoyed it, I love y'all babes! <3<3<3 Happy Valentine's Day!!!
#valentines day#dylan o'brien#teen wolf#stiles stilinski#tw#stiles#stiles x reader#teen wolf stiles#stiles stilinski fluff#bestfriend! stiles stilinski#bestfriend! stiles#teen wold fluff#stiles x reader fluff
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Still and All🌿
Miguel O'Hara x Fem reader
Gif credits to @miguelo-hara
Synopsis: You have a lifelong sexually transmitted infection. You've learned to live with it, but you started dating Miguel, and you need to tell him at some point. Word count: 4.7k
TW: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. STIS: HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS 2, TALK OF UNPROTECTED SEX, RELIGIOUS TRAUMA IMPLIED, INSECURITY, SLUT SHAMING, SELF DEPRECATING THOUGHTS, ANGST, STIGMATIZED THINKING ABOUT STIS, TALK OF SAFE SEX INCLUDING CONDOM USE, SMUT AT THE END( EVENTUAL UNPROTECTED P IN V, SPANKING, ORAL F RECEIVING), IN SHORT THE SUBJECT MATTER IS RATHER HEAVY AND IF ANY OF THE ABOVE IS SENSITIVE FOR YOU, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND SKIP THIS ONE. ❤️
A/N: I DREW ON PERSONAL EXPERIENCE TO WRITE THIS. I HOPE WE CAN EVENTUALLY COMMUNICATE OPENLY ABOUT SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTIONS AND DISEASES WITH NO STIGMAS ATTACHED. BE SAFE AND HEALTHY. I GOT MY INFORMATION FROM THESE SOURCES, ALTHOUGH THE INFO IS IN LINE WITH THE SOURCES, PLEASE DO NOT USE THIS WRITING PIECE AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR MEDICAL ADVICE. TALK TO YOUR PHYSICIAN.
World Health Organization
Hopkins Medicine
Herpes.org NZ
-----
You weren't sure how you'd tell him. Or exactly when you'd tell him. You had told others before, but this time was different. You really really liked him. If you had the ability to envision someone you wanted to do the rest of your life with, he would be it.
And what you needed to tell him could cause you to lose him forever. And that news was that you had a sexually transmitted infection. Herpes Simplex Virus 2. Or HSV-2 for short. And you lived with it for years. It wasn't a big deal, really. But it took you a long time to get to this point.
You wondered if your strict religious upbringing and being repressed for most, if not all of your adolescence and young adulthood were contributing factors. It all came to a head when you were finally an adult and could move out of your parents' hypervigilant gaze. You started feeling excited at this new found freedom but went a little crazy with it. You started dating casually. It was exhilarating and felt empowering to be desired. To know that men wanted you, craved you, and desired to know the deepest, most intimate parts of your body.
So, you had some fun.
It was clear most of the guys you dated weren't as educated on safe sex either, or the passion of moment just threw those safety precautions out the window. It was careless, yes. And absolutely risky. But you didn't know how to ask for these things and weren't taught how to. You were afraid to speak up, that they wouldn't want you anymore if you put your foot down.
Several months into your promiscuity, you had a sinking feeling in your stomach you should go get tested when you felt an odd tingly sensation in your genital region. You prayed that nothing was wrong.
The doctor could not have called you at a worse time. Right in the middle of your shift. You stood in the stairwell of your job, waiting for a sigh of relief or your entire world to come shattering down.
"Your blood work looks good, except..."
There it is. Except.
"You tested positive for HSV-2. You have genital herpes. It is a very treatable condition, but there is no cure."
Just like that, a life sentence. You were super young when this happened, so to you this was earth shattering. Your mind didn't even pick up the rest of what he was telling you as you hung up your phone.
The world outside seemed to grow fuzzy as though someone bludgeoned you in the back of your head. Colors rapidly disappearing, causing your retinas to only see gray. Claws of despair sinking into you. Not able to speak, not able to think, gasping for air while the tide crashed and beat against you again and again, keeping you under, forcing you to drown.
Your mind did what it does best and became your worst enemy.
"Nobody's going to want someone like me."
"I'm dirty."
"If you weren't such a careless slut maybe this wouldn't have happened to you."
"Quit crying, this is just a consequence of your actions, deal with it."
"You're being punished. Maybe if you weren't so weak and didn't lose your faith, God wouldn't have had to teach you this lesson. You wouldn't need to learn it if you were actually good."
"Typical for a pathetic girl like you with daddy issues who can't go a month without a guy telling her she's pretty. See what happens when all you're good at is spreading your legs?"
Your internal monologue flogged you like this for months. You had to take some time to just cry, just lay in your bed and wait, praying to the God that abandoned you. The winds and rains of self-doubt and misery mercilessly beating against you while you hid in a hole, waiting for the storm to pass. A numb expression on your face as you watched everyone outside live their lives while you just stayed frozen in place with a dark cloud over your head.
Just holding on for better days that hopefully laid ahead, hoping you'd make peace with this permanent new part of you that seemed to latch itself onto you overnight.
And... slowly, you did.
You started taking antiviral medication. And it improved your symptoms drastically. Having an outbreak could be quite painful and uncomfortable. Gritting your teeth and your eyes squinting in pain when you had to use the restroom with open sores, the sting causing you to suck air between your teeth.
Once you got the hang of taking your medication on a daily basis, any outbreaks you experienced were only a couple of times a year, usually popping up only if you were under extreme stress or if you had missed a few doses.
Outside of your physical health, dating was tricky. You pretty much began to avoid it altogether, despite the raging loneliness within you. You just wanted to know what it was like to recieve the love you were so ready to give someone else. To have someone hold you at night and stand across from you at the altar as you pledged to spend your lives together, a conscious decision to not let this condition stand in the way of you two being together.
Most people were understanding, but eventually they'd stop talking to you. The unmistakable shift in your dynamic as soon as you told them when things started to get good. You respected their right to not put themselves at risk while you simultaneously grieved for just once, to hear someone say,
"It doesn't bother me that you have this. I still want to be with you. Let's figure this out together."
You came across someone who also had it. But the relationship never grew into something serious for other reasons.
You took a long break. Just to find yourself and be comfortable with being your own person. Not letting yourself settle for less than what you deserved.
Eventually you found Miguel, who was a welcome change to all of that. After college, you were Spider Society's fresh new accountant, sticking out like a sore thumb amongst your STEM and Spider-Colleagues.
Miguel noticed you while he was walking to the break room for another pot of coffee. This wasn't even the usual way he'd go, but after a casual glance in your direction at the way your eyes were narrowed at your computer screen, lips slightly parted in concentration, he switched his route to include an accidental brush past your open office door from then on, intrigued with this new face around the place.
You noticed him the second time he passed by, and you had to do a double take. He was gorgeous. Strong cheekbones that led into a chiseled jaw and wide neck. Warm umber skin surrounding scarlet seas of his eyes and full, pouting lips. A majestic, tall frame that embodied strength in every sense of the word. The evidence lay in the fit muscles that crowned his entire body from his arms, to his legs and whew, that stunning back.
The third time, you noticed him approaching and gave a little nod of your head with a closed lip smile, the generic, passively kind, but also slightly aloof way that acquaintances passing would give to each other. He returned the gesture, and you felt your stomach do a little flip as he walked away.
Next time, you actually flashed a smile, and he raised an eyebrow but gave that lukewarm expression of acknowledgement again. Not quite a smile yet.
Oh, but the first time he smiled at you. That sealed the deal. At first, you felt that maybe you were in danger of just being in lust with the guy, his physical features the first thing to pull you in. But when he flashed that dazzling smile at you, you knew immediately that your heart was in actual danger of being absolutely wrecked by this guy at some point. The bottom row of his teeth were ever so slightly crooked. His bushy, sculpted brows so expressive despite the stoic disposition that always painted his face. He was sooo...so...
Perfect.
His laugh and his voice was a whole other issue entirely. His voice wasn't exactly deep, but it was gentle. A sweet caress against your eardrums. It dripped like honey. That small, whispery chuckle of his he'd let out when you finally made small talk with him had you wanting to bash your head against the wall.
"Top o' the mowwwrning to ya! " you said in a silly voice as he walked up to your desk.
He cracked a smile. "What's got you in such a big mood this morning?"
You smiled like you were keeping a secret. "Oh, just the fact that it's Friday, it's payday, I have a 32 ounce iced coffee, and I have theeee best job in the world!" (A little bit sarcastic about the last item you listed)
Miguel scoffed. "Well, I'm glad someone is happy around here. I can't seem to get any peace and quiet or work done with all these shocking anomalies we've been dealing with lately."
"You wanna know a secret?" You ask, raising an eyebrow, feigning mystery.
Miguel rolls his eyes but is unable to suppress a smile. "Dime." (Tell me)
"The bench at the bottom of the hill in the courtyard is actually the best place to go to get some work done. But don't tell anyone else about it because that's where I go on my lunch breaks."
Miguel's eyebrows raise. "Is that so? Well, you don't mind if I were to try it out this afternoon?"
You grin and swish your iced coffee. "Nope! All yours. You gotta text me about it and let me know how it went, though. Tell me I'm right."
Miguel scoffed. "You're on. But, I don't have your number."
Your cheeks burn a little bit but you scribble your number down on a sticky note and hand it to him. He shoots one more stunning smile at you and walks away.
Later, he did text you that you were absolutely right. Peace and quiet for a whole two hours outside managed to get him to complete 3 weeks worth of paperwork he was behind on. You felt like you were on top of the world, but it escalated to a whole new level when you were straddling his lap in the backseat of his car after your first date just a week later, making out with him in a quiet parking lot at the head of the trail where you two went on a hike together.
You were getting lost in how tasty his lips were, soft and full with just a hint of his sweat from the exertion. You feel the heat of the moment about to overtake you when he starts to grind his hips, feeling him starting to harden underneath you. Oh God, the way this man moaned was purely sinful.
You groan and whimper, realizing you can't take this further, no matter how much your pussy is begging for him right now. You pull away with a teasing smile.
"Let's wait..." you say softly, passion still dotting your voice.
Miguel shows the slightest bit of disappointment but nods in agreement. "Of course." He sighs and gives your thighs a squeeze of reassurance.
"I'm starving." you say, tracing his neck with a finger.
He smiles. "Well, let's go fix that right now."
You two shared grilled cheese sandwiches from your favorite food truck and as you walked into your apartment, you admitted to yourself that you were falling.
On your second date, you casually mentioned a little white lie that you were on your period to hopefully keep sex off the table so you wouldn't have to have the tough conversation.
"Oh, are you sure you're feeling up to getting dinner right now?" Miguel asked as you walked side by side towards the small Mexican restaurant.
"Mhmm!" You replied cheerfully.
Miguel gave you a skeptical look but followed you into the restaurant.
It was one of those express food places where you ordered your food at the counter. When the cashier asked if you were eating here or taking it to go, Miguel abruptly interrupted,
"We'll take it to go."
You looked up at him, puzzled.
"You're not feeling well, we should let you rest at home where you're comfortable." He replied, taking your hand in his.
"Oh, right!" You smiled and nodded enthusiastically. You totally forgot you were lying. Your heart starting to pump quicker in anticipation when you realize he's coming over. Give me the strength, please, God.
----
After you two went back to your apartment and ate, you talked for nearly two hours about literally everything. Your childhoods, your complicated relationship with family, favorite foods, places you've always wanted to travel to, politics, even.
As soon as you cuddled next to him on your couch and got a whiff of his cologne, soon your tongue was in his mouth and he was on top of you, kissing you with so much tenderness you were actually contemplating marriage in your head.
He sighed a little into your mouth, letting his hands wander down to your ass. Your eyes went wide, but you continued anyway, continuing to lock yourself against his yummy lips.
Miguel groaned and moved to kissing your neck, your vision flashing as your eyes fluttered at the tempting sensation he was giving you.
"Not going to lie...I want you right now..." He whispered against your skin.
You whimpered. "I want you too....so much....but I'm on my period, remember?" Hoping he'd buy it.
He inhaled sharply at your words, increasing the intensity of his kisses.
"I don't mind..."
Dammit.
You feel your eyes water and before you know it, you're crying. Miguel pulls back, concern in his eyes.
"Did I hurt you...? What's wrong...?"
He presses the back of his hand against your cheek as one tear after another and another streaks off to the side of your eyes and into your hair, gravity causing them to run downwards as you're still pinned underneath him.
"I can't..." You choke out. "It's just something I need to tell you."
Miguel swallows and allows you to sit up. His eyes remain locked on you and scan your face for any inkling of what you're about to tell him.
Just drop the bomb now.
"I'm not actually on my period right now. I can't have sex with you right away because I need to tell you that I have an STI. It's Herpes Simplex Virus 2. I'll have it the rest of my life. I get occasional outbreaks in my genital region due to stress or if I miss a couple doses of my antiviral medication. I've had it for over 5 years now and it's quite manageable."
Miguel nods, his face in an unreadable expression. His eyes leave yours for just a moment as though he's starting to think quietly in his head.
You exhale shakily, the worst part is over, but continue with the facts which you've rehearsed many times.
"It's very common. As many as 1 in 6 adults may have it in the US, but many who do show no symptoms, as a result they might not even know they have it. But, I understand that you need to do what's best for you and come to your own conclusion about what I just told you. So if you choose to not continue seeing me, I understand." At the last sentence, your voice cracks a bit. "I like you a lot. I'm sorry for getting emotional..."
Miguel sits in silence for just a moment longer and he puts a hand on your thigh. "Thank you for telling me.... To be honest, I was expecting worse news than that. Like, you have a secret boyfriend I don't know about or... " He gives a little scoff, then looks at you, not moving his hand from your thigh.
"It's not the best of news, but it's not the end of the world. And it certainly doesn't define who you are. You're still you, and I've enjoyed getting to know you quite a bit and find myself liking you a lot too..." Miguel swallows. It's been a while since he's been this expressive with his feelings, but he feels he can venture a little outside his comfort zone since you're putting yourself in such a vulnerable position right now.
"I don't know much about Herpes myself. I'd like to educate myself more on this and then we can talk more about what we can do from here. Is that okay with you?" He asks, his voice gentle.
You nod, eagerly. The weight of the world had just been taken off your chest, you could breathe at last. He asks you a few more questions, like how often you take your medication, when you got diagnosed, how you manage your condition and so on. You answer honestly and firmly, pausing to gauge his reaction and make sure you explained yourself clearly enough. After talking for another hour or so, it's about 10:30 pm. You've definitely reached quitting time, and you're fighting to keep your eyes open.
You two share a long embrace before he walks out the door.
"Thank you, for a wonderful night and for dinner and being so understanding. I haven't always had the best response when telling people about this." You say into his chest, trying to hold him long enough his scent will stick to you after he leaves.
He smiles, still holding you. "You're welcome. Thank you for being honest and vulnerable with me. I'm kind of amazed at how much we have in common. I'll talk to one of my medical contacts some more about this. Don't be worried if I don't text you right away tomorrow. Then, we can talk more about what we'll do."
You nod, and after giving him one last kiss on the cheek, he leaves out the door and into the night. You watch him walk down the stairs and close your door with a soft click.
----
The next day, Miguel's at HQ speaking with one of the physicians in the lab.
"What are the different types of Herpes Viruses?"
The doctor leans against the counter and answers,
"There are two types of herpes simplex virus: HSV 1 and HSV 2. HSV 1 commonly causes oral herpes, or cold sores. It can show up as an upper respiratory tract infection during early childhood, whereas HSV 2 is the cause of most cases of genital herpes. However, it is possible for HSV 1 to cause genital herpes and HSV 2 to cause oral herpes."
Miguel nods and asks more questions.
"I ask because I started seeing a woman recently who has HSV-2. To my knowledge, I don't have it. What would that mean for us in terms of intimacy?"
The doctor nods and she answers,
"HSV-2 is mainly transmitted during sex through contact with genital or anal surfaces, skin, sores or fluids of someone infected with the virus. It can still be transmitted in the absence of symptoms. If you plan on being intimate, I recommend the use of condoms to decrease the risk of transmission. If your partner is also taking antiviral medication to suppress outbreaks, that helps decrease the risk of transmission as well. But, if your partner is having an outbreak or symptoms, I recommend abstaining from sexual activity until they resolve."
Miguel nods and takes in all the information the doctor is providing him, thanking her for her time.
He calls you, and you answer eagerly.
"Miguel?"
"Hey," he answers. You can hear the soft smile in his voice as he greets you. "Want to meet at Central Park in an hour? I figured we could go for a walk and talk in person. You don't need to be worried. I want to see where this goes with us, and now that the doctor gave me more information, I want to talk about it with you."
You feel your chest rise with hope. "Yeah, absolutely. I'll meet you in an hour. Thank you for taking the time to learn about it. You have no idea how much that means."
Miguel smiles. "Of course. You've been so patient with me, it's the least I could do. See you soon, get there safe."
"See you soon!" You hang up, and go get dressed.
---
The rain has started to come down a little bit, sprinkling and peppering the pavement in little dots, the earthy petrichor permeating the late spring air as the sky melts into a faded grey overcast with a thick layer of cloud cover.
You tuck your hair in your jacket hood, starting to jog a little faster to escape the falling raindrops as you approach Central Park. You see Miguel sitting on a park bench, across from the pond, totally unphased by the precipitation. You stroll awkwardly up to him, not sure where to look as you get closer to him. He hears footfalls approaching and turns, searching for the source and finally notices you, becoming slightly amused at your displeased reaction to the rain.
"Sorry, perhaps meeting in the park wasn't the best idea considering the weather," he says as he stands up, causing you to move your chin up a little to meet his tall gaze.
"Yeah, perhaps not." You huff.
Miguel grins and gestures towards some trees that will provide a little bit of shelter from the budding rain shower and you follow him there.
He leans against the tree, hands on his hips. "I talked to the physician. All in all, it sounds like a very manageable condition, which you've already covered with me. You're already taking antiviral medication daily." He clears his throat.
"But, when it comes to sex, we should use condoms. At least in the beginning to decrease the chances of transmission, and make sure you're feeling well and have no symptoms before we do anything. You've had the condition for long enough, I trust you that you're aware of your body and can pick up on whether or not you're about to have an outbreak. Do you have any thoughts on that?" He looks at you.
You nod. "I think that's completely reasonable. Thank you for trusting me, really." You lay your hand on his shoulder, giving it a small squeeze.
He gives you a small side smile in return. "Just so you know, I'm not expecting sex right away. I just bring it up now, in case we find ourselves in a heated entanglement like we did last night..." He kisses your hand. "We'll have already covered it and know what to expect."
You nod. "I definitely want to, at some point. But I'm in no rush either. We'll wait for the moment to present itself I guess?"
He grins and stands up from where he was leaning, letting both of his hands cup your face now, nothing but soft affection for you lining his pupils.
"Sounds perfect to me."
You two traded warm, lingering kisses as the rain poured a little harder around you, saturating the city of Nueva York, turning the trees in Central Park a vibrant, otherworldly green, the thunder shaking the sky in a deep rumble.
----
2 years later on a cruise ship gently coasting the Caribbean
The blinds were drawn around your ocean suite, giggles escaped you and Miguel as you gave him a playful shove back onto your freshly made bed after dinner, courtesy of housekeeping, both of you about four wine glasses deep.
His breath hitches as he watches you slowly hike your strapless maxi dress down your body, biting his lip when your tits bob out of your dress, practically drooling as though it's the first time he's laid eyes on you when the fabric slinks off the rest of your body, kissing your curves on the way down until it's laying in a heap on the floor, leaving you naked in front of him.
"Ven aquí..." (Come here) He whispers, pulling you closer as he sits on the bed, the noticeable glint of a silver wedding band with a small diamond embedded in the middle on his left hand.
He leans down and licks hungrily between the folds of your pussy. You sigh and close your eyes, using those beautiful broad shoulders of his to steady yourself, the twinkle of your own sizeable rock on the wedding band on your left hand catching in the dim light of the honeymoon suite.
The sound of his licks get more sloppy and wet as you drip more and more into his mouth, his tongue fueling the fire. "God, baby...."he groans, landing a sharp spank on your ass.
You gasp and buck your hips into him, pleasure sizzling in your core when your clit brushes against his nose. He pulls you in tighter to his face and you lift your leg, putting one foot on the bed to spread your pussy wider for him.
He scoots back instead, pulling you on top of him and directly over his beautiful face, his chest hairs poking out of his half buttoned dress shirt. He has one hand gripping your thigh and one squeezing your ass cheek as he continues to eat you out. "Lower, baby.." he whispers, tugging you downwards so you're sitting right on his face.
You feel your cheeks burn as you look at yourself in the mirror hanging above your bed on the wall. Completely naked and legs spread, riding your new husband's gorgeous face, his powerful large body pinned underneath yours.
One orgasm later, you're panting and sweating on the bed, looking up at the ceiling when Miguel gets back on top of you, planting a sweet kiss into both ankles as he brings them to rest on his shoulders. You look at him through half-lidded eyes that rake over his majestic form, his arm muscles rippling slightly as he gets into position.
He brings his cock to the entrance of your pussy, your ankles still perched on his shoulders, swirling the tip around the outside to collect any remaining arousal as lube. Both of you gasp at the same time as he slowly eases his cock inside you. That first thrust sends you straight to heaven and you release a satisfied moan. He sets a steady pace, fucking you in splendid, deep, strokes.
Your lips fall open and he traces them with his thumb while still rutting into you. You close your mouth around it, sucking and swirling your tongue around his thumb while you gaze into his eyes.
His own mouth falls open a little, lust blown pupils of his showing he's dangerously close to cumming as he lets out a deep moan.
"Fffuck, baby, you look so beautiful like this. Sucking my finger while your pussy takes my cock..." He purrs.
You let out a filthy moan in response, still sucking his finger while he drives his cock deep into your pussy with both ankles on his shoulders. He leans down to kiss you, letting your ankles fall to the side and back onto the bed, opening your thighs a little bit as you welcome his body in missionary. He tilts his head to the side a little bit, scarlet irises pulling you in, then kisses you gently as his body continues to make love to yours.
You savor the kiss, letting your tongue explore his mouth, the taste of your pussy lingering in it and bringing both hands to tangle themselves in his hair. He pulls away for just a moment for air, and you coo softly to him
"I love you so much..."
He exhales slowly, slowing down his strokes just a little but making them more deep and dramatic, causing a twinge of pain and pleasure to course throughout your veins.
"I love you, my wife. Forever."
You kept fucking deep into the night, tropical colors painting the sky as the sun dipped below the horizon, nothing but ocean air and the thrill of adventure awaiting at your destination.
Your diagnosis and any other obstacles remained long forgotten as you and Miguel entered forever with hands intertwined, still and all.
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#miguel o'hara#miguel atsv#miguel x reader#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel ohara#atsv miguel#miguel o'hara smut#miguel o hara angst#miguel ohara angst#miguel o'hara x fem!reader#miguel ohara x fem!reader
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hi!! this is kinda a weird question but ur post about characterization for french ccs is rlly helpful for writing, so i was wondering if u had any like . tips or advice about speaking patterns or like. common terms or phrases they use and stuff like that. i have a lot of issues with auditory processing and other hearing stuff that makes it like . hard for me to always understand speech patterns or just like . what people are actually saying so if u have any like . advice or info about like How They Talk that u could put in text or like specific that would be cool. no worries if u dont/cant btw i completely get it i just remembered that u were the one w the previous helpful post ::D
Yeah, no problem I could try ! :D Now keep in mind again I'm not necessarily an expert, and I'm just doing this because it's fun. I still might make some mistakes, and miss some important details, but 'Ill do my best. SO
Let's go for HOW DO THE FRENCH (and swiss) CCS TALK :
Let's start with
ETOILES : So I feel like it might be the easiest because he's the clearest to me. He tends to speak at a normal space and in english with a noticeable slighly french accent, but not an extreme one. He likes to crack jokes constantly when he speaks with other people (most of the time hyping up others, and self deprecating, you know the "You are a legend, I am dumb".) . He can drop pearls of wisdom randomly through ridiculous metaphors ("You don't need to worry, My name means stars, that means that when you look I'm here." "It's like crossing the road, you have to, and there is cars, you need to be careful, but it can't be all you focus on. Wait I'm not sure about that one...") and sometimes actually genuine and inspiring, but more often that not in the tone of discussion, it doesn't sound like he's dispensing "wisdom of the elders", he's just a humble guy talking with you and giving a random advice. He often says in french "Wow a flop" when something doesn't work. Or "c.s.c." (Contre Con Camp, a football term meaning scoring against your own team) when he comments on someone being a tryhard for example ("WOW such a tryhard (csc)"). He'll often makes the joke that nobody likes him when they don't answer in chat to himself, (or chat) and will directly tell them "You want me to die irl don't you?" ensues a myriad of "holy shit you want me to die for real" answered by the "NOO" of the other one. Two last details that came to me, he rarely actually answers by "no" or "yes", he often use "Yeh yeh yeh", or "no no no". He also uses a lot of "euuuuh..." when looking for his words when speaking.
AYPIERRE : He is fairly simple too. He has a very relaxed tone, speaks slightly slower than most people, and has slightly noticeable french accent but less so than others. His tone differenciate between three states : Focused (while building or infiltrating a base), relaxed, and humourous. Note that he's never fully serious, he has that constant gremlin energy and smile that makes him want to make jokes that will make everybody cringe (his favorite pastime.) The only time he's been serious and slightly upset was when he earned gegg died or when he learned that the federation was trying to replicate his wine (there you can see his priorities). Most of the time people are assuming the worst when it's his countless time he starts a conversation with "So, I did something..." and is the type of guy to say "*known illegal act* is a strong word, let's say it's more like *not necessarily better*". I don't follow him as much, so I currently have no other mannerism in mind.
BAGHERA : I feel like she is a bit harder to pin down. When speaking in english she has a very noticeable accent, especially when she is tired. And talks a bit fast, especially in french. Though she doesn't crack jokes constantly, she has a constant chaotic energy that makes her say random things at times. She often say "Oh Yeaaaah" when she is happy or hyped about something, mostly when she is with other people to show them she is happy too. When she is ashamed or not understanding something she likes to take a voice we call the "Antoine Croute" voice (a character she played in a Rp series on GTA V), it's high pitched and really shy. (imagine a little "wut... ?"). She can be really serious, especially when investigating. She almost nver express vocally, in tone at least, her anger. Instead she sounds incredibly cold, like she was with ElQuackity. Her voice when serious drops a bit, and she speaks a bit faster. There is probably plenty more but I'm starting to get tired.
ANTOINE : He is the hardest to me because it is even hard to pin down in french. He has most of the time a very serious tone, while he ironically constantly making either dark jokes based on irony and cynism OR a pun. Because of this, it's sometimes hard to pin what's a joke and what's serious. His accent alternates between horrible french accent OR almost ProPeR eNgliSH. Even when discussing absolutely batshit insane things he sounds serious (he is not in reality, but it's a form of humor in itself). OCCASIONALLY he'll break and cracks a smile, and sometimes, even the heartiest laugh you've ever heard, a very vocal and deep "AHAHAHAHA" that you can hear a mile away (but it happens rarely.) Though I didn't specify, most people, including the french, stutter at least a little bit, and search their words, (like I said for Etoiles' "euh".) but Antoine tends to have a very clear speech, only occasionally looking for a translation. In the same vein, he also has a very quick reaction and can answer with a pun almost instantly (very impressive, especially when it's not his native language.)
That's pretty much all I can think of right now, and I'm tired. Maybe it's not exactly what you asked, but it's what I can muster. Hopes that helped :D
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oh my, can we possibly have a james x shy!reader, where he gives her flowers but it's her first time receiving flowers? <3
OMG YES tysm for ur request ♡ fem!reader
There's a ferocious knocking coming from the front door. You look down at your naked thighs and decide not to answer. By the time you're dressed they would've already lost interest, a cold caller no doubt.
You sieze up and wait for them to leave. After a few minutes you relax and click play on your movie again.
"Shortcake, I know you're in there!" calls a familiar voice.
"James," you say, startled.
There's no way he would've heard you. His insistent knocking begins again. You practically fly off of your bed in your hurry to stand, searching your slightly messy room for something to wear. There's nothing, of course, because all of your trousers (pyjamas included) are currently on a high speed spin in the tumble dryer.
For lack of any better options, you pull on a hoodie that's always been too big for you and hold it against your thighs to avoid any potential flashing, and then you rush to the door.
"James," you say, opening the door just enough too see him.
Any plans of shooing him away go out the window when you see what he's holding, a bouquet three times the size of your head. It's literally bursting from its cellophane wrapping, a dazzling array of lavender, yellow, rose-red and greens. Fragrant enough to smell it clearly though he stands a good two feet away from you.
"Hey," James says, beaming at your startled expression. "I'm sorry to drop by unexpectedly."
"That's okay."
He graciously ignores your breathlessness and nods his head. "Could I come in?"
"James," you say again, sheepish. "I'm not," — heat like nothing you've ever felt washes over you, so embarrassed that you could just die on the spot — "wearing any trousers."
"Oh." He frowns at your embarrassment. "I'll wait here if you want to find something?"
He doesn't seem perturbed by the gentle rain outside. His sleeves have grown dark with wet, and raindrops play in his curls.
You shake your head and open the door. "You have to come in, it's raining."
"I won't look," he assures you.
You usher him very gratefully and wizz off to the tumble dryer. The jogging bottoms you pull out aren't really dry but you couldn't care less, more than aware that James has likely just seen a lot of skin that he's never seen before. Well, never seen before from you. He's likely seen a lot more than that of other girls.
You fluster yourself thinking about it. You're so distracted by the thought and trying to get rid of it that you'd totally forgotten about the flowers.
You're not sure what to say. Forbid you assume they're for you, you stop in front of James and his bouquet with a hesitant smile.
"They're for you," he says knowingly.
You smile and make a little gasp as you do, self-deprecating and overjoyed at once. "They're stunning. Really, really pretty. Thank you."
He hears the hint of confusion.
"Right," he says.
James runs a hand through his hair. "Would you want to go on a date with me? I know we've been for food after lecture and coffee and things, but I guess I'm trying to ask you out, uh, romantically?"
He offers the flowers.
You take them on instinct. James seems very encouraged by this, his smile near blinding. He presses his lips together and waits for you to speak. All your words have dried up like cotton in your mouth.
"I know you're-" He holds your gaze. He has a very gentle expression in place. "Well, I know you. You don't have to answer now. Or even say yes. But I think you're lovely, and I wanted to get you flowers even if you wanted to stay friends."
You're so happy you could cry.
"Nobody's ever got me flowers before," you say lightly.
"No? That's weird."
You cringe self-conciously. "You think so?"
"Absolutely I think so. Did you attend a school for the blind, before uni?" he asks seriously.
You sigh and raise the flowers up toward your face to hide your smile. His golden laugh rings out, and he closes the gap between you both to bend at the waist and peek at your face in the flowers.
"Yeah?" he asks through a laugh.
You nod, hoping he understands your enthusiasm even if you can't quite show it.
#this sucked sorrrryyy#marauders era#marauders#james potter x reader#james potter x you#james potter#james potter imagine#james potter fanfic#james potter fanfiction#james potter fluff#james potter x fem!reader#fem!reader#the marauders fanfic#the marauders
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Marauders era characters as my self deprecating thoughts
cause I’m not doing well lol
James: Do people really like me ore do they just like the version of myself I decide to show them?
Sirius: If i will be dramatic enough when It’s not that bad people would normalize my real breakdowns
Remus: Keep a smile on, maybe this time “fake it till you make it “ will work. People don’t need to see when you struggle, it will make them sad and sorry for you
Peter: I don’t do enough for others, I’m not enough for others. Why can’t I be like the Others?
Mary : I worked SO hard not to be a people pleaser i think I became such a bitch people hate me
Regulus: God, I corrected them again I didn’t mean to be mean she is my friend she must hate me now, god that’s why nobody likes a know it all
Even: my friends told me they are a bit scared of me again, am I bad person for not completely hating it or am I just overprotective of myself after so long, I won’t hurt my friends, but maybe they wouldn’t hurt me again. I don’t want them to be scared of me, not really, I love them. How do I even have friends?
Barty: I got a good score on the test WHY DID I GET A GOOD SCORE ON THE TEST I didn’t study enough., it must be a mistake, just pure dumb luck I’m not smart enough everyone think i smart when i feel so fucking stupid
on a sirius note- if you need help, please get help. You matter and can rant to me any time 💕- edit written AFTER the breakdown lol
#just a random thought#rant post#marauders incorrect quotes#mauraders#the marauders#Wrote this in a mental breakdown#i will probably delete this later#i’m sorry#projecting my problems onto fictional characters again#Would i even be in the Marauders fandom if I wasn’t even a little depressed? Lol#dead gay wizards#dead wizards from the 70s#If you need someone to rant to my massages are open<3#Or even just a friend who can never snitch on you#I don’t know anyone with tumblr irl so i rant here a bit#going to read some fics to get better#slytherin skittles#marauders era#sirius black#regulus black#remus lupin#guess who I kin lol
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aita for not telling someone i dont want to be their friend?
in my freshman year of high school, i became part of this friend group with like 12 other people. we had a very active groupchat, always sat together at lunch, etc. this girl, lets call her “J,” would sit with us, but she wasn’t part of the group. she knew two of the people in the friend group from middle school*, so we eventually added her to the gc. over the next couple months, everything was pretty alright. however, myself and a few others in the group slowly started talking to her less and less. there’s nothing wrong with her, it’s just one of those cases of “sometimes in real life there will be people you dont like that much for no reason.” the only real issue was that she’s very self-deprecating, and doesn’t make very many original comments/jokes outside of being self deprecating or complaining about her dad. (ex. one of my friends got the role he wanted for a play, and instead of congratulating him J went on to give a rant about how much she thinks she sucks at theater because she’s never gotten a lead role.) fast forward to now, we’re all sophomores. i never talked to her that much in the first place, but i feel kinda bad that now pretty much None of us talk to her. people don’t respond to her in the gc anymore because all she really does is make us feel bad for her or quote unfunny memes**. i dont think any of us Dislike her, but we dont really like her that much either. nobody has said anything to her because we know she’ll take it super personally. i genuinely want her to make friends who will like her, but she cant do that because shes trying to be part of our group instead. i feel really guilty, like we’re leading her on by not saying anything, but i also dont feel like i should be the one to tell her since i only talked to her for about a month. its really tough because nobody wants to admit that we’d rather she leave us alone, so nobody does anything. i think shes somewhat aware of how we feel, but hasnt left the gc or found different people to sit with at lunch. i really dont know what to do and i feel guilty. am i the asshole for not doing anything?
*she was only acquainted with the people from middle school, they werent close
**kind of related, my friends make fun of me a lot in a joking way (which im totally ok with bc i know them), but J tries to include herself in these jokes by making fun of me too (which makes me uncomfortable, i barely know her). its just kinda weird cos its like. shes not calling me stinky bc she’s joking with me shes doing it bc she wants the approval of the people in the group. its really impersonal
What are these acronyms?
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How do Alfred’s parental issues manifest (and more)
GOOD QUESTION I think he’s a workaholic and is constantly seeking praise.
He’s very status-conscious and always looking towards achievements, so he can come off as narcissistic because he’s trying to get the praise that was inconsistent to him as a child.
His trauma is based on “I got praise and care by doing this/being this way but that nurturing feeling became inconsistent or changed, so what can I do to stop it from changing?” so he’s constantly trying to be the “best” version of himself for other people to prevent the praise and support from changing again.
His biggest fear is being worthless or feeling like he’s not enough for others. He never wants to be a “nobody”. To try to stop this feeling he’s always looking to do the next great thing and improve and be admired by others. He wants affirmation and to be distinguished by his accomplishments.
Ironically, when he does this from an unhealthy place he becomes overbearing because he’s doing it from a place of apathy and selfishness. When he’s doing these things from a healthy state of mind he becomes more cooperative and committed to doing things for people.
He’s always focused on doing and getting things done and “how do I look right now? Do people like me? Am I doing things right?” He’s always sort of going “oh look at me! Do you like what I’m doing? Look at my achievements. Do you think I’m good?”
So he’s a people pleaser by trying to be a show off lol. He changes himself based on how other people may want him to be to get that nurturing feeling that he missed out on.
At his worst he’s vindictive, obsessive over shortcomings, destructive towards things that get in his way, and untrustworthy.
He has an insane pride and ego so of course he’s not going to admit these things easily or openly. It makes him cringe to think about how similar he is to the person who was supposed to care for him but didn’t. If he went on an inner healing journey it would be one of the first things he works on: the fact that him and the person who caused him so much pain are so similar and so he has the capacity to do the exact same things that person did to him (and has done them)
To me, I think this manifests in a feeling of resentment for his caretaker, and by extension himself. He ends up taking that out on himself through self deprecation when he feels inadequate. As well as on the people he’s closest to when he feels like they aren’t doing the things they’re “supposed to be doing” or could be doing to be the “best” version of themselves out of fear that they’ll feel or experience what he’s feeling. He becomes anxious when he thinks someone is being lazy, and he can be unsympathetic to others when he feels like they’re slacking off.
He has trouble “just playing around”. He’s a playful person and of course he has fun, but he has difficulty setting aside unstructured free time. He can set aside designated time to have fun, but that’s not unstructured. The struggle comes when he has room to do nothing or is able to do nothing in particular. To him he can’t just sit around doing “nothing” to relax he has to be doing something remotely productive.
On a more healthy note, he can be a very inspiring force because he loves to develop himself and contribute his abilities to the world. He enjoys motivating people to find and explore their own strengths and personal abilities. He’s well regarded by his peers as an efficient person and a go-getter. When he’s at his best people are able to see their own goals reflected in him and his abilities.
At his best he’s self assured, has a clear sense of direction, is energetic and adaptable, can be charming, and is a generally caring personality.
#hetalia#aph hetalia#aph#hws#hws hetalia#hetalia world stars#aph america#hetalia world series#hws america#axis powers hetalia#hetalia america#america hetalia#alfred how i love you#alfred freedom jones#aph alfred#hetalia alfred#alfred f. jones#alfred f jones
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ok putting my saiki k pony ideas here, mostly so i can maybe draw them someday, but also i put so much thought into these ideas and i want everyone to see them
tried to do EVERY character
kusuo- alicorn, no cutie mark
hides his wings under clothes and pretends he doesnt have them, would rather hide his horn but cant and just pretends he doesnt have much magic instead
why does he not have a cutie mark, you may ask?? because he hasnt accepted his quirks+powers as a part of himself.. his special talent is probably helping people but he thinks he only does that because the magic he has makes him basically obligated (its not true ur just a good person!!)
nobody really calls him out on constantly wearing clothes with so much coverage because they think hes just insecure about being a blank flank so late in life (kinda true, but it defeats the point if everyone KNOWS..)
will he ever get his cutie mark?? um.. i dont know.. maybe ?? definitely not in his high school years
chiyo- unicorn, baking cutie mark but idk what specifically, maybe a heart shaped chocolate like the one she made for kaido
specialty magic for tracking, she was a late bloomer with her cutie mark because she discovered her tracking talent really young and thought that had to do with her special talent for a longgg time
shun- pegasus, black feathers cutie mark
underdeveloped wings (like scootaloo obvi)
convinced hes just a late bloomer but hes almost an adult and still cant fly (never will but he doesnt know that)
gets these cool wing extensions that allow him to glide but still not fly
tells people his cutie mark is his "jet black wings" but its actually writing quills
riki- earth pony, heart shaped ramen bowl cutie mark ?? idfk what his special talent is i just think he has a lotta love in him..
HUGE stallion.. HUGE..
aren- a kirin..
has a huge scar where a cutie mark would be on a pony in the shape of an exclamation point
used to let his anger free when he was a delinquent and when he transferred, he was pretty self deprecating about his control of himself but he actually has a crazy amount of self control..
chisato- pegasus, hammer cutie mark maybe ?
almost made her an earth pony cuz of the brute strength thing but i like this better
got her cutie mark REALLY late because she was absolutely convinced her special talent had to do with food, and when she got it while doing a job she was like "WORKING IS MY SPECIAL TALENT??" but it wasnt about the job, shes just really strong, hardworking, and adaptable
kokomi- zebra, golden heart cutie mark
couldnt decide if she was a crystal pony or a zebra, decided on zebra
her mark LITERALLY seems to glow golden light, it doesnt actually but.. it really seems that way
ik her being a zebra may not sound like it makes sense because zecora got a bunch of NEGATIVE attention, but HEAR me out okok.. this pony au would be in a modern setting with more diversity and people would focus less on her being a zebra and more on her being beautiful and having such a unique pattern..
zecora is the only zebra we see in mlp so theres no reason to think other zebras couldnt have blue hair, esp in the era of saikis mind control (idk how that would tie into this universe cuz ponies already have crazy colors but shhh) so her hair is prob blue with dark and light stripey highlights
mikoto- griffon
ik she might make more sense as a unicorn but her fortune telling strikes me as more of an.. outside magic ?? like.. she was born with the ability, but its not a physical magical power, its like pinkies pinkie sense!!
so yea i like her as a griffon, its unique and i like the idea of her feathers having a unique pattern around her eyes thats akin to gyaru makeup (see: gilda but make it gyaru esque)
and yes she can still be colorful, we see colorful griffons in the late seasons of mlp
metori- a crystal pony, diamond ring cutie mark
tells people thats his cutie mark because its expensive and hes rich as hell but his special talent is actually MAKING jewelry..
i like the idea of him lying about his special talent so i had to think of something that he could say its cuz hes rich.. i kinda wanted his talent to be baking for some reason but i couldnt think of how that would work
reita- earth pony, cutie mark is like a cartoon-like ghost surrounded by a scary purple and black aura
was gonna make his mark something more meaningful but i think its funny if people see it and are immediately scared of him but literally all it means is like he SPEAKS to ghosts, like in the most normal way possible
and same thing as miko, he doesnt need to be a unicorn cuz his powers are different from unicorn magic..
touma- unicorn, magnifying glass over a thought bubble cutie mark
the mark is hard to explain but tell me u get me when i say its because hes got stupidly good detective skills and can tell what people are thinking
jokes around and manages to convince people he has crazy magic and his cutie mark actually means he can read minds but he actually isnt very good at unicorn magic at all
kineshi- is a changeling..
why ?? because he just is!! doesnt it make sense for him to be a creature that feeds off of making other people feel happiness and love ? it totally makes sense
honorable mentions 😛
saikis parents are both earth ponies, and i have no idea what their cutie marks would be but heres some silly ideas: kurumi has a cradle cutie mark (meant to be a mama😋) and kuniharu has a boot and he tells people that it's symbolism for like hard work but people know hes lying and think it means hes a boot licker METAPHORICALLY, which is almost right but.. it means literally
kusuke is an earth pony and his telepathy canceler is probably shaped like a unicorn horn in this universe hehe, and his cutie mark is maybe like a microscope or something ? hes just a mad scientist idk
btw chono in this au would def be like trixie lulamoon if u know what im saying.. he would be a unicorn but his special talent is STAGE magic and his horn doesnt do anything☠️
satou prob has that little hourglass cutie mark thats really common in background characters for animation purposes, idk what his special talent is but that would be really funny
#tell me if anything doesnt make sense#made most of the transfer students diff creatures save for toritsuka and teruhashi being exceptions#+like two others#saiki k#tdlosk#kusuo saiki#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#teruhashi kokomi#aiura mikoto#toritsuka reita#mera chisato#kuboyasu aren#yumehara chiyo#kaido shun#hairo kineshi#akechi touma#saiko metori#nendou riki#mlp#my little pony#my little pony au#saiki k ponies#meows post#saiki k pony au
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If you have the time of course and are comfortable, could you write something about Ramattra with someones who like despises themselves, not just their body but their personality and everything? Thank you so much <3.
Quickly uploading this before a meeting - thank you so much for requesting! ♥ Love a soft Ramattra
Ramattra x Reader (gen)
Word count: 1522
Ramattra, being the observant omnic he was, noticed things when others did not. Slight changes in tone, body movements, eye contact - he saw the subtle changes. You, however, were an odd case, someone of which he hadn’t been around before.
He thought nothing of it at first. The self deprecating jokes were a little confusing for him at first to understand, but after awhile, he realised it was just a part of who you were. However, over time, he noticed you acting strangely. The jokes were a little more sensitive and he could hear the pain behind your voice as you spoke.
The others didn’t take note of it, or if they did, they didn’t say anything, but Ramattra knew. He just kept watching and listening, trying to figure out if it was all a part of some act. Only when a joke about yourself caused you to wince as you said it, did he realise that there was something deeper, something eating away at you.
Being a ravager, he didn’t have the best approaches, so he gave it time, waiting for a way in, one that wouldn’t bring attention to you or himself. If he had to wait days to be able to speak to you, then he was willing to wait that time. He was patient and he didn’t want to do anything you would be uncomfortable with but he also knew how unnerving it would be to just open up to him about anything that was going on, especially considering you hadn’t exactly spoken to him away from others.
You would always be with the group, friends of human and omnic alike, Ramattra sometimes next to you, sometimes across from you. His optics would scan you briefly, as if looking for something to hate, something hostile within you, but he couldn’t find anything. In fact, he started caring, listening to you more and noticing the way you acted. So when the jokes got more personal, more painful, he wanted to make sure you were ok.
As the laughter died down and people started parting ways, hugging and saying goodbye, Ramattra stayed behind with you, eyes locking with yours for a moment before you broke that contact.
“I should head back too, it’s getting late.” You say, taking a small step back.
“Allow me to walk you back.” Ramattra bows his head slightly.
“You don’t need to-”
“I insist.” He steps closer to you. “If I am being honest, I want to get to know you better.”
You nod, gesturing for him to walk next to you. “You gonna ask me out or something? I wouldn’t even date myself.”
“Why would you say that?” His head cocked to the side as he walks next to you.
The sudden question caught you off guard. “I- Well, who wouldn’t date me? I’m not exactly the best person.”
“Nobody is perfect.” Ramattra stated. “Including myself.”
“I know, never said I was. I’m far from it anyway.”
“How so?”
There was a silence as you kept walking, avoiding his question.
“[y/n]?” He places his hand on your shoulder, firm but not threatening. “What is going on?”
“What do you mean?” You keep your gaze away from him as you stop walking, his hand preventing you from taking another step.
“You have been acting rather strange lately.” His body turns to face you as he removes his hand, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable.
“I have? I haven’t noticed.”
“Yes, and I have noticed.” He pauses for a moment. “Tell me, what is weighing on you?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Another deflection.” He sighs.
“What?”
“You do that when people ask you what is wrong. I want to help.”
“Why?”
“Must you always question everything?” His optics look over you.
“Habit, I guess.”
“You have been spending to much time with that scientist.” He chuckles. “[y/n], I want to help- and don’t ask why.”
You look up at him. “You must have your reasons.”
“Yes. Is it wrong to help a friend?”
“No,” You take a moment to think. “I just- I never really had someone to talk to. It’s complicated.”
“Then tell me your complications. I will listen.” Ramattra notices the unease within you. “Perhaps we could go somewhere else to talk?”
“Sure. My room is just ahead, we can talk in there. Just, don’t mind the mess…” You smile awkwardly at him before walking forward, Ramattra following behind.
There was a silence around the pair of you as you walked, neither speaking up until the door opened and you walked in, Ramattra following you inside and closing the door behind him.
His optics scanned the room, taking in the decor. A quiet sigh escaped him, the room was very you and it matched you perfectly. The mess you had spoken about didn’t affect him in the slightest as he sat down on the sofa, waiting for you to join him.
After a moment, you did, sitting across from him, a slight anxiety running through your body as you faced the omnic.
“What is going on, [y/n]?” He asks, head tilting to the side. His sensors picked up the rise in heartbeat within your chest.
“I don’t know… How do I even start this?” You let out a nervous laugh, looking away. “Kinda feels like a therapy session.”
“I can assure you it is not a therapy session.” He chuckles alongside you. “You start however you would like. I will listen.”
This sounds exactly like a therapy session…
You stare at him, thoughts running through your mind.
Ramattra breaks the silence. “Perhaps you would prefer if I start?” His question gains a nod from you and he continues talking. “I have been around many different kinds of humans, back before the Monastery, during Null Sector and now here, but none of them have puzzled me quite like you.” He’s scanning you for some sort of discomfort and when he notices nothing has changed, he continues. “While it was confusing at first, I learned that it was just who you were. The joking about yourself, your… trauma I would assume. However, recently, I have noticed that there is a slight pain behind that.”
“You’re observant.”
“Always have been.” He goes to speak again, but your voice stops him.
“Why do you care?”
“Why do you keep deflecting help?”
“Suppose I never really had anyone care.”
“I do, and I want to help.” His tone is gentle, a slight hum of static alongside. “Do you hate yourself?”
“I-” Your eyes widen slightly at the bluntness. “Yes. Always have done.”
“Why? I see no fault with you.”
“I see all the faults with me.”
“There is nothing wrong with you.” He denies your claims. “You have no faults. You are not broken.”
“I feel broken.” A shaky sigh escapes you. “Have done for years… I’m not good enough for anyone. Won’t ever be.”
“If you keep thinking like that, then yes, you won’t be good enough for anyone.” He looks at you, noticing the hurt in your eyes. “However, I have seen the good side of you. The truthful side of you. Believe me, there is nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. You are human, a good human at that. Has someone made you feel this way, or is this just a self sabotaging thing you humans do?”
“I do it to myself…”
“Why?”
“Because then others can’t hurt me.”
“But you are only hurting yourself.” He pauses, thinking for a moment as he looks around the room until an idea strikes him. “Come here.”
He stands, holding out his hand to you. As you take it, he pulls you towards the mirror you had set up against the wall. Ramattra pulls you in front of him, hands resting on your shoulders as he makes you look at yourself.
“You know what I see when I look at you?”
Your eyes look up to him through the mirror as you shake your head.
“Someone who is strong, in both body and mind. I do not know of your past, I don’t necessarily need to, but I see someone who doesn’t entirely hate themself.” His hands gave your shoulders a gentle squeeze. “No matter what you say about yourself, it will not change my mind. All the jokes you make about yourself may gain a few laughs, but I see the pain.”
You stare at yourself, heart racing in your chest.
“You, [y/n], are unique. Do not listen to the thoughts inside of your head. You are better than that, you are far better than what the thoughts say.” He kept his tone low and gentle as he spoke to you. “Do not hate yourself, no matter the circumstances.”
He watched you through the mirror, noticing the small tears in your eyes.
“No matter what anyone says about you, know that I believe in you. I like you for who you are. You are a friend to me, no matter what is going on in your life, come to me. I will help.”
You nod, letting the tears fall.
“You are not broken.”
#ramattra#ramattra x reader#overwatch#overwatch ramattra#ow#fanfic#overwatch fanfiction#reader#ramattra x you#ramattra fanfic#overwatch 2#ow2#yazzfics
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Mine Or Hers
Pairing: Morpheus x Wife!Reader
Warnings: Jealousy (I tried to make this as respectful as possible to Calliope)
Summary: Morpheus’s wife worries when his ex wife returns to his life, but Morpheus reassures her that there’s nothing to worry about
Requested by: @rachelcarroll1819 & @lina-lovebug
There is a great deal of self-deprecation that comes with jealous. After all, the fear is that the person you think your lover will leave you for is better than you. After all, in your mind they will only stop loving you if you're inferior in some way.
But in (Y/N)’s case, that wasn’t the only source of the self-disgust. The other came from the fact that the person they were jealous of didn’t deserve their negative feelings.
The Dream’s spouse had known about Morpheus’s past with Calliope. Known that she was his former wife, his lover before (Y/N). The mother of his lost child. But they hadn’t cared, thinking that the muse wasn’t in his life anymore.
Apparently the two of them had agreed never to speak again.
Then he rescued her from some corrupt writer who had imprisoned her for his own gain. It sounded horrible, and (Y/N) felt terrible for her.
However, when Morpheus told them that he and Calliope had resolved many of their problems, (Y/N) couldn’t stop a sinking feeling in their stomach. Would feelings regrow between their husband and his former wife now that they were on speaking terms once again?
Those worries were compounded with self disgust at those thought. Calliope didn’t deserve to be thought of like that. From what (Y/N) had heard, she was a kind woman just trying to survive.
***
“You’re overthinking this.” Lucienne told them one time in the library. “Morpheus adores you.”
(Y/N) lay their head down on the library table. “I know, I know.” They sighed. “The poor woman escapes from abuse and the first thing I do about it is get jealous. And here I was thinking I’m better than that.”
The librarian just chuckled, pulling a small book of the shelf and laying it down in front of (Y/N). “This might help. If you truly want to stop worrying about Lord Morpheus’s commitment to your marriage.”
“What’s this?” They asked, pulling it open.
“A poet known as Shakespeare once asked Morpheus about love. Instead, he told them about you.” Lucienne tapped the little book. “This is what the poet transcribed. With some embellishments, of course.”
(Y/N) couldn’t help but smile as they read over the book. They could tell exactly what was said by Morpheus and what was exaggerated by the poet. But once they read it, there was no doubt in their mind that any jealousy had been useless.
“Thank you, Lucienne. This helped.” The gratitude that they felt for the librarian was unending. She was so pertinent to the Dreaming and (Y/N) did their best to show her that every day.
“I’m glad.” Lucienne smiled at them, but suddenly looked up. “My Lord Morpheus, welcome.”
She spoke to (Y/N)’s husband, who just entered the room.
(Y/N) froze up slightly as they saw him. “Thank you, Lucienne. I wish to speak with my spouse, if I could have the room for the moment?” He asked, looking down as (Y/N) with a soft smile.
She nodded, leaving the room and taking Merv with her. Morpheus sat down next to (Y/N), resting his hand over their’s.
“I heard what you said to Lucienne.” He told them. He didn’t sound judgemental, which made (Y/N) feel a little better.
“I’m sorry, I…”
He shushed her. “Don’t apologize. I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that you had to be worried about our marriage.”
“You didn’t.” (Y/N) hated that he thought that. “Of course you didn’t. I was just… she just seems so perfect. And I know you still love her, you don’t need to deny it.”
Morpheus sighed. “I do care about Calliope, I admit. But there is nobody I would chose to be with other than you. To me, you’re what’s perfect.”
Gripping his hand, (Y/N) brought it to their lips and pressed a gentle kiss to it. “I love you.” They told him, the relief making them feel lighter than ever.
No doubt in their mind any longer.
Tagging: @stygianoir
#the sandman#the sandman dream#the sandman x reader#the sandman morpheus#the sandman morpheus x reader#morpheus x reader#Morpheus#dream of the endless#dream of the endless x reader
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Aether x GN!Reader - Confession/reverse comfort
TW: Moderate self deprecation
The traveller looks over to you and smiles, the atmosphere of the serenitea pot calm and peaceful as always. You looked up towards the false sky of the realm, kicking your legs while sitting on the edge of the tall rock. You had never quite understood their use but you certainly aren't complaining about the view. Your companion beside you takes a deep breath and sighs, dragging you from your thoughts to gaze in his direction "What is it traveller? Remember you forgot your commissions again?" You jest, chuckling softly. He rubs the back of his head with a bashful laugh "Oh, no, not necessarily. I'm just… really glad you're here," he looks away, taking his turn to gaze up at the sky "Of course I'm here, I told you I would help you no matter what right? I'm more than happy to travel with you, never worry about that." He smiles "There's… something I want to tell you, but you have to promise not to tell anyone else alright?" You blink in surprise but nod your head in agreement "My real name is… Aether. Only you and Paimon know about it. Please… it's very important to me that you don't tell anyone," The traveller, who you now know as Aether, turns to you with a pleading gaze.
You take a deep breath, processing the information "I may not understand why you want to keep it from everyone but I swear to you I won't tell anyone but, can I just ask one thing? Why tell me? Not that I'm not honored but I just don't understand why you would tell me of all people. I'm not that special after all. Aether blinks at you for a moment, and for a moment you worry you may have done something wrong. He reaches out to you, placing a hand on your shoulder "Don't say that… you are special, to me at least. I trust you the most out of everyone I've met. I really care about you, you know," you flush under his praise and turn away "I'm… not too sure what you mean by that, I'm a nobody, really. I'm not particularly strong, or an archon like Ei. I'm just some random you picked up on the street like a stray dog," you laugh, though it's to hide your pain.
Aether frowns, turning to fully face you "You are one of the only people who was ready to help me right off the bat. You never asked for anything, you cared." He stresses. You shake your head a bit "Because that's what everyone should have done. You're just looking for your sister. You shouldn't have to save an entire country just so some people put up a couple of missing person posters that won't do a thing. You're a person too Aether, it's just a shame hardly anyone sees that," you pause when arms wrap around you, his entire body shaking against you. You can feel hot tears hitting your shoulder as he pulls you into him. You had always been agitated at the fact that others never did more for him. You knew he was getting tired too.
Your arms wrap around him as you begin to rock, cradling him close while he cries into your shoulder "There, there. It's going to ok. I made a promise to you that I would help you find her." He buries his face against you and you let him, knowing how much pent up emotions he must be carrying with him all this time. When he finally pulls back he has a smile on his face, bright compared to the fresh redness of his eyes from his tears. Your heart skips a beat, internally cursing yourself over your fleeting crush when all he needed right now was a friend. Aether clears his throat for a moment and wipes his face "I'm sorry I just… it's been too much for me lately." you smile to encourage him gently "I know, sometimes everyone just needs a good cry don't you think? It helps get rid of so much tension," he nods in agreement.
"Y/N… the real reason I decided to tell you my name is… it's because I really care about you. I care about you in… a more than friends way. The whole reason I brought you here with me, alone, is because I was hoping to ask you to go to the next windbloom festival with me… as a date." He fiddled with his fingers, looking down into his lap nervously. You blinked at him in surprise, the confession coming out of nowhere. He had been nervous around you for a while lately but you only figured it was caused by everything going on in Fontaine "I… I would love to go with you Aether. It'll be nice to get to see everyone too, it's been so long since we've been in Mondstate. I'm sure everyone missed us… maybe except for Timmie but he's just kinda weird…" Aether laughs at your dislike for the boy "Yeah, I can't really eat a madame anymore without thinking about him. Though honestly I don't feel bad about it, it's his fault for feeding the birds on the bridge,"
You lean into his shoulder "I'll never regret helping you, you know." Aether's face flushed, slowly wrapping an arm around your waist "I sure hope not… though I do worry about you. You've gone through so much just by traveling with me. I've put you in so much danger," he frowns. You take a deep breath of his scent, vanilla and stars fill your senses "It's all worth it if I get to stay by your side. I just hope when the time comes, you won't leave me behind," as Aether tried to reply, a shrill voice breaks the silence "There you two are! It's about time! Paimon was wondering if you were ever going to tell them! I swear, Paimon was going to tell them tomorrow if you didn't do it yourself!" The flying mascot crossed her arms and huffed. Aether's eye twitching in annoyance "Paimon…" the tiny fairy grew a worried expression "Uh oh-" you nearly fall back from laughing as the chase ensued, watching the blonde haired boy as he disappeared from sight following a frightened Paimon into the manor.
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After having a kind of awkward movie night and the worst sex of my life, I would like to propose a horseshoe theory.
Where on the other end of the horseshoe there are people with nonexistent self-esteem who cope by being unhealthily narcisistic and by constantly putting down everyone around them.
And on the other end there are people with nonexistent self-esteem who cope by being unhealthily self-deprecating and by constantly putting down themselves around other people.
And then the experience of spending time with both types of these people is that you get to experience the exactly same frustrations and boundary-breakings.
Because I can now say that my own experience with unhealthily self-loving and unhealthily self-hating people is that they both:
- Assume that they know exactly what you are thinking and feeling and are unwilling to listen to you say anything contrary to their own beliefs.
-Are not actually interested in what you are talking about or willing to take seriously/contribute to any topic of conversation that you might want to intiate, which does not revolve around them/their life.
-Physically incabable of doing any activities without fishing for validation that their presence is making the activity an exclusively unique experience, either positively or negatively.
- very, very VERY upset hearing the sentence “yes I’ve known people who have experienced the same things-/have felt the same things myself-
-Think that You are so fundementally different from them that your experiences don’t matter and that you are trying to relate to them is insulting.
- Extremely frustrating to have sex with. (Like, nobody wants to hear you are angry with me, I bet you hate me, in the middle of otherwise fun sex. If a person wants a kink scene they need to talk about that beforehand, because I did not consent into being thrown off the loop like that out of nowhere! If you want to call me names and humiliate me in the middle of sex you need my prior consent, and the same equally goes for if you want to start degrading yourself!! These are both things that need my prior consent!! Because I’m not a mind reader and I cannot know if what is happening is a kink thing or something you genuinely believe!! And I’m fine with the other, but not with the other!)
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