#now shut your stupid ass up and stop blaming me for things i didnt do
Note
you did follow him, he deleted his account after someone posted proof of him grooming minors and distributing child porn. https://www.tumblr.com/disgustinggf/730055963897446400/lovingcaptor-lovingcaptor2-is-a-p3d0phile-and
babe i think i know better who i followed and who i did not follow
#like i said before#if i rbed him it was on my for you page#now shut your stupid ass up and stop blaming me for things i didnt do#i have always followed around 30-40 people so trust me i know if i followed someone#asks
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Just go with it part 2
Musical beetlejuice x reader
You have to meet juno and pretend you and bj are getting married
Nsft sorta, mentions of activity
Part 1
"Babes"
....
"Sugar"
...
"Y/n"
...?
"Y/n wake up, come on babes"
...!
"Beej?" You mumble rubbing your eyes "what's wrong?" You say in a whisper.
He doesnt respond, you turn on the lamp by your bed and check your phone clock
5:42am
You sigh, looking back at the demon, now being able to see him clearly, you freeze upon seeing that the demon was now completely purple, his hair, his beard, his tie, all deep purple.
"What's wrong?" You ask again, more fear in you voice then intended
"Okay y/n" he starts, using your name rather then a pet name was never a good sign "so you remember a few nights ago when that suit came by to see if I was lying about our relationship?"
"He's back?!" You sit up, more awake "wait... wasnt the repercussion to that not that bad? Just some extra work for you?"
Beetlejuice rubs his neck "yeah, thing about that, it's not him... my mother is here, to talk to you personally..." he trails off refusing to look at you
"Your mother...." you repeat feeling your stomach drop
"Yeah..."
"What's gonna happen if she finds us out?" You ask in a whisper
"...who knows with her" the demon spits before looking away.
The two of you remain in silence over the shit beetlejuice has gotten you into it.
Beetlejuice huffs out his nose as his focus goes back to you.
"So y/n, I mean honey~" the demon pulls you up from your bed and into a side hug "ready to meet mommy dearest?" Beetlejuice tried to smile, make light of the situation, but his hair betrayed him, remaining a deep purple, even though he tried his best to plaster a grin across his face for your sake.
You didnt know much about Beetlejuice's mother, other then she didnt exactly win mother of the year, beej only opened up about her a handful of times, long story short, you knew this was gonna be a rough experience for both of you, but mostly Beej.
Beetlejuice drops his jacket around your shoulders, pulling the same ring he gave you to fool the suit, the same tacky, pretty ring, the band was black and white, and resembled a snake, the gem was a brilliant green, your heart swelled at the sight of the ring.
The ghoul drops on one knee, and gently slides the ring onto your middle finger, pausing to kiss your hand before giving you wink, under different circumstances you would die from such a cheesy romantic gesture, but now was not that time, you did appreciate beetlejuice trying to lighten the mood.
"Alright honey, you remember the drill?"
"Yes"
"That's my future wife, let's not keep the bitch waiting" he smiles linking arms with you
Future wife...
You couldnt help but give the ghoul a soft smile at the thought.
Beetlejuice takes a deep breath, smoothing his hair back, wiping the purple away in favour of his default green.
The demon grabs your hand begins to lead you to your living room, you could barely focus over the sound of your heart pounding, who could blame you, you were about to come face to face with someone Beetlejuice was afraid of.
As the two of you head down the hall , she was finally in sight, you felt your stomach drop, in your recliner sat an old woman, dressed completely in red, she had a permanent scowl across her face, her whole presence give off a bad feeling.
"Lawrence, you took your sweet time fetching your fiance" she barked causing beetlejuice to flinch
"Ya know breathers, they like their sleep-" he forces a laugh, purple slowly creeping back into his hair
"Nonsense, it's nearly 6am, that's more then a reasonable time for breathers to wake and start their pointless routines" she waves off, beetlejuice frowns and leads you to the couch, where the both of you sit.
"Its been awhile huh Ma? Like I was saying earlier, it's nice to see you again and-" beetlejuice was babbling
"Zip it" was all she said and beetlejuice clamped his mouth shut and gazed down staring at his feet. "Lawrence, I didnt come here for pointless pleasantries" her eyes meet yours "y/n l/n I dont know what Lawrence has done to you or promised you, but I can assure you he doesnt care about you, and just wants freedom, further more Lawrence, do you honestly think this breather could love you? This game of yours needs to come to an end, there is alot of paper work tied up in this farce of yours"
You were taken back by her words, she really didn't beat around the bush.
"I dont-" you start, voice trembling
"Ma, y/n loves me and I love them, see~" beetlejuice grabs your hand to show his mother the ring, she eyes the ring for a moment, then goes bad to staring daggers into her son, her scowl never faltering.
"Tacky" she huffs, a simple response like that was enough to shut her son down, beetlejuice pulled away from you, pressing his back firm against the couch, lips pressed shut and hands clamped together in his lap.
"As I was saying, Lawrence is a natural born troublemaker, and youd be smart to back out of this farce before he gains life, knocks you up with a life ruining disappointment, and vanishes from your life" she droned as she lights a cigarette, taking a deep inhale, smoke shooting out from her neck.
You swallow hard.
"I would prefer if you didnt smoke in my house, ma'am"
Juno stares at you for a moment, then shakes her head as she puts out her cigarette on your coffee table.
"Ma'am I really do trust beetlejuice, and I love him, this isnt a farce-" you began, but your words were ignored
"If you want to throw yourself into a mess, I wont stop you, I'm not here to save you, but I have to applaud his efforts on tricking someone LEGAL this time for his little game. Even though this mess of yours is going to keep him out of my way for awhile, it doesn't cover the fact that Lawrence's efforts have caused my office nothing but work. And even if this "love" was real the boy ruins everything thing he touches, cant do anything right, having him around only causes headaches, you'll see soon enough y/n," Juno's hurtful words drone on, as if her son wasnt sitting across the table from her.
"Back to the matter, even if you do choose to marry this fool, I wanted to warn you about the mess your getting yourself into, giving him life would only cause you grief, and I dont want to hear it when you get to the netherworld after a suicide his actions caused"
You grit your teeth at that last remark, you knew juno thought poorly of beetlejuice, but did she honestly thing her son was so awful that youd kill yourself over his actions, you felt like you were going to be sick.
"Lawrence, why is your hair purple?"
You glance over to beetlejuice, who infact was completely purple, the deepest purple you've ever seen him wear.
Beetlejuice bites down on his lip, his hands clenched in fists as they sat on his thighs, he was frozen.
"Bee?" You gently whisper as you slowly place a hand on his, the ghoul flinches at your touch, beetlejuice slowly takes your hand in his and gives it a light squeeze.
"Come on Ma, y/n my be dramatic, and get mad at me from time to time, but they'd never kill themselves over anything dumb I'd do, and hell we already talked it over, we dont want kids" the ghoul leans into you for support.
Juno scowls "to remind you both, I'm not here to stop you two, the only thing I'm here for is to warn this foolish breather, and double check to make sure YOU arent mucking about and blackmailing the living again, there is a lot of paper work involved in this little game of yours, and you still havent delt with the paper work of your failed marriage and death by the hands of that poor child you tricked" her eyes narrow down to beetlejuice, juno pauses, then sighs
"Lawrence just come clean, this little game of yours has gone on long enough, even if you didnt blackmail this poor soul into marrying you, do you honestly think they love you? You dont actually think this breather wants you around do you?"
"That's not true, I do-"
You werent able to finish that sentence, with a snap of juno's fingers your mouth is now cover with a strip of duct tape.
"You've honestly fooled yourself into thinking you could be loved didnt you? Pitiful, maybe this breather found you amusing now, but you dont think it's going to last do you?" Her questioning goes on, she was convinced her son was unlovable, you tug away at the duct tape but it refuses to budge, beetlejuice was too focused on his mother's words, to the point where he was starting to believe her, the purple slowly faded from him in favour of white, a color you've never seen on him.
"Lawrence you're little game is over, and you're going to clean up the mess you made, I have a decade's worth of paper work for you to fill out over this farce and every other little issue you caused, I knew from the start this was fake, no living person in their right mind would let you into their life willingly"
A decade's worth of paper work?! Was that so important that she was willing to manipulate her own son into thinking he was worthless?
"Lawrence you are such a screw up, the amount of work your little games keep giving me is coming to an end, you will never be alive, you will never be loved, let alone tolerated, and you are coming back to my office to straighten up ever little issue you have caused, if you think being invisible for a millennia is bad-" she raises her voice with each hateful word.
This duct tape wasnt going to budge, so you went with plan B, you roughly bump into the demon's side to get his attention, beetlejuice looking your way, your eyes grow wide at his expression, he was crying, black gooey tears. The two of you stare at each other what felt like an eternity, Juno's voice no longer reached him, beetlejuice snaps his fingers and the duct tape vanishes from your mouth.
You jump up from you position on the couch "I'm sorry ma'am but bee- Lawrence isnt worthless, and yes, he can be an ass, and insensitive at times, but I love him and I really do want to marry him! And whatever stupid paper work that is tied up in this, can just fuck off..." your voice tweaks as the ghoulish women sitting across from you stands up, eyes dead set on you.
You werent great with confrontation, and beej knew this, but here you were talking back to his mother, you his tiny sweet breather talking back to a literal monster. The white from Beetlejuice's hair quickly left in replacement to pink 'I really do want to marry him!' Those words from your lips could have made his heart start beating , tho that was shortly lived when he saw this mother stand, purple took hold of his form once again.
He couldnt let you fight his mistakes alone, though he found it hot that you could be his knight in shining armor.
No, beetlejuice is quick to jump up and link his arm with yours "see ma, this little breather stole my heart, and hell, we've been planning our little wedding for months" beetlejuice snaps his fingers and in a flash his and yours clothes change. Beetlejuice wore a red tux made with crushed velvet, with a lacy front, his whole outfit screamed tacky, but that was him. Looking down at your self, you stifle a laugh, here you were, 6:30am, dressed in a red puffy lacing monster of a dress, in all honesty this wouldnt be your first choice, but now was not that time. Beetlejuice pulls you close, you could swear he could hear how hard your heart was pounding, could you blame yourself? He looked so handsome all dressed up, even if this was fake.
"My, my Lawrence, doesnt that dress look familiar, isnt that the dress you forced that poor child to wear the last time you played this game?" his mother sneers
"Its called a call back, and y/n loves it" he sneers back you nodded in agreement, beetlejuice continues "we're still working on a venue, trying to find a band, believe me, planning a wedding is exhausting, and oh! dont be surprised if your invite gets lost in the mail ma" the demon gives a shit eating grin, you smile seeing beetlejuice has gained SOME confidence back.
"I have no interest in attending your little wedding Lawrence" she spat "it's clear you're not going to budge, and still refusing to take responsibility for your actions, you always were a slacker, and if that's the case, once you die again you will be returning to my office to deal with the mess you made" her focus turns to you "or I could end this little charade by killing your ticket to life"
Your heart stops at her words, she was a demon, Beetlejuice's grip tightens on you, the silence must have been hurting him as much as it did you.
"But I wont, itd be too much a hassle ending a life before it's time"
You sigh in relief, and beetlejuice loosens his grip.
"This will end poorly for the two of you, and I dont want to hear it" juno walks past the two of you, and with a gesture of her hand the livingroom wall opens up to reveal an office full of the dead.
"Lawrence before you join the living I need to deal with one last errand, so I will see you later, and you" Juno's boney finger points to you "you have no idea what you've signed up for" and with that she was gone, the wall closes up as if nothing happened, the two of you collapse on the floor
"Shes gone" you sigh, you've never been more scared in you entire life then you were talking to Juno
"So you like your future mother in law?" Beej jabs you side
"Oh yeah, a delight" you snort, "how long do you think we have before she notices we havent gotten married?" You tone shifts to a more serious note
"No clue, guess you'll actually need to marry me now" he pulls you into a side hug
"What?" You stammer, beetlejuice laughs at your response
"HA! Just pulling your chain there doll, theres no way in hell she's coming back to check, if I know that Bitch shes going to file away those papers for me, there's no way she'll let them just sit there for who knows how long, and this time next week she'll be harping about something else" beetlejuice stands up and pulls you up with him as he sees you struggling to move in that dress, as you raise to your feet you mumble a thanks.
"You know beej, you really do clean up good, I mean, you look very handsome all dressed up" you smile, now that that two of you were safe, you felt it was the right time to say it.
The purple in the ghoul's hair quickly vanishes at your kind words and is replaced with pink.
"Well you know doll, the tux suits me, but it looks even better on the floor, you'll see on our honeymoon~"
"Is that so?"
"Dont believe me? I'll show ya right now baby~" the ghoul pulls you close pressing his chest against yours, as fun as this little exchange was it came to a halt when you yawned.
"What a way to start a weekend, early and terrified, I think I'm gonna get a few more hours of sleep" you grumbled rubbing your eye "you mind helping me out of this dress?" Beetlejuice goes wide eyed at your question, in a flash his hands were groping for the zipper on your back.
"Naughty minx" he purrs before you swat his hands away
"I ment with magic" you breath out, you may be tired, but your genitals were now wide awake.
Beetlejuice grumbles as he snaps his fingers bringing you back into your pajamas and him in his suit.
"Thank you, I guess this wouldnt be good night, see you in a bit" you shrug as you head to your bedroom to get a few more hours of sleep, you glance back at beetlejuice, who was purple once again, you frown
"Beej do you want to sleep with me? I mean you dont need to sleep, I just thought maybe, you wouldnt want to be alone right now?" After seeing his mother maybe he could use some comfort.
There was a long silence as the demon only stares back at you, you panic
"I'm sorry, that was stupid, I'll just, uh, see you in-" you babble as you spin in your heels eager to get away from this embarrassing situation. Before you could hide away in your bedroom you feel the dicey grip if the demon's hand on your shoulder, and in a deep gravely voice he purrs
"Isn't it normal for a husband and wife to sleep together?~"
you honestly felt a shiver run up your spine.
The ghoul, now only in a pair of boxers has now cuddled up to you his legs intertwined with yours, his arms wrapped around your waist, hand rubbing up and down your back, and head nuzzled into your chest, the demon now pink, purred feeling your hands scratching his scalp, his mother was wrong, you did love him, truly and unconditionally, maybe not now, but soon, he will marry you.
Bonus
It's been days since you met his mother, and it seems like beetlejuice has been back to stop caring about it, but sometimes you see him just staring off into space.
The ghoul had only one thing on his mind, replaying the memory over and over, of you shouting "I REALLY DO WANT TO MARRY HIM!"
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Can you do headcanons for the main three where the reader has always wanted to be in a relationship and when someone ends up liking her for the first time, they ended up cheating on her so she goes to the boys for comfort?
Comfort
A/N: ahhhh angst w a dose of comfort <3
Warnings: a curse word here n there
Midoriya Izuku:
the moment he heard the news, he ran to find you
he found you in your dorm, eyes puffy and cheeks covered in tears
when you met his woried gaze, you just broke down into tears
midoriya quickly went to your side, wrapping his arms around you and trying his best to comfort you as you sobbed into his shoulder
“why did they cheat on me?”
“am i not enough?”
“i thought they loved me”
“what’s wrong with me?”
hearing you blame yourself almost tore his heart in two
he was so angry about your ex treating you this way that he had tears in his eyes
izuku nearly started thinking of scary ways to make them realize how horrible they were for cheating
but your trembling shoulders took him out of his fury-induced trance
he couldn’t focus on that quite yet
his top prioity was being there for you
izuku pulled back to gently wipe the tears falling down your face
usually he’d get too flustered to do something so intimate
but all he can think about is how much he wants to take the pain away from you
“nothing. absolutely nothing is wrong with you. and your ex is an idiot for making you feel like that”
“b-but why would they cheat on me if--”
“bc they’re too blind to realize how lucky they were to have you”
the firmness in his tone makes you gasp
you sniff as he connects your foreheads, taking in how beautiful you look despite the tears and snot
you don’t know if it’s just bc of how emotional you are rn, but the adoronment in your friend’s eyes sends butterflies down your stomach
“izu?”
“one day, someone will come along and show you just how priceless you are”
a bright blush explodes on his face as his thumb stroked your cheek and he can’t help but think about how perfectly you fit into his arms
“one day,” he whispers again
Katsuki Bakugo:
you had been acting weird all day
you were quieter than usual
jokes were nonexistent
and you didnt even threaten to punch his vocal chords when he was screaming at izuku today
something wasnt right
and it wasn’t like bakugo cared...but it was messing with his flow so he was determined to get to the bottom of it
he texted you what was up your ass and you left him on read
offedend that you ignored him after he took the time out of his day to text you, he makes a b-line towards your room
slams open the door to find you with your knees pulled against your chest
“oi! what the hell is wrong with you? ignoring my fucking texts!”
you told him you weren’t in the mood and he gets even more riled up bc boom boom boy doesnt know how to express his worry like a normal fucking person
he starts to argue with you and you get so fed up at that you blurt out
“my s/o cheated on me, okay!?”
katsuki freezes
your face burns with humiliation and tears as you admit, “you were right. they never care about me”
see, bakugo never liked your s/o
he got very bad vibes from them from the start (and he also was lowkey jealous but we dont have to talk about that)
but you were so excited to have a s/o that he didn’t want to seem like more of an asshole than he already was, so he let it go
eventually
so hearing this made his blood boil
just as he was about to go on a literal manhunt for them, you finally break down after holding it in for so long
no matter how uncomfortable he was, bakugo can’t just leave you there
youre surprised when he pulls your head up to meet his intense gaze
“listen here. that fucker never deserved you and it was only a matter of time before they showed their ass. so don’t waste your useless tears on them”
he pushes your face into the cleft of his neck so you won’t see the blush on his face
“...but if you need to cry...i’m right here”
the dam inside you breaks and you hold onto him with your life as you sob your heart out
bakugo is there to hold you until you fall asleep
Todoroki Shouto:
it was todoroki who told you that he saw your s/o with someone else
he didn’t know how to smoothly transition into bringing up the issue, so he did it quite bluntly and it shocked you
then, you were in denial and told him he shouldn’t assume things based off a quick glance
a small argument broke out between the two of you
shouto didnt understand why he got so frustrated over it, but at some point, he gives up trying to help and said things he shouldn’t have
“fine, i dont care anymore. but don’t come crying to me when you see that they don’t love you”
you storm out of the room and you two don’t talk for a week
shouto doesnt care...at least, that’s the attitude he attempts to give off
but his friends can see he’s noticeably quieter, colder, and more impatient
you werent any better
and it goes like this until one day he’s sulking in his room and you burst in there with an angry face
shouto thinks you’re about to argue with him again so he turns away to ignore you, but that doesnt deter you from what you need to say
“i’m sorry”
it comes out very forceful but there’s a waver in your voice
todoroki blinks before slowly turning to you
“you were right. they were cheating on me and i just didn’t wanna accept it. okay? i knew. i knew they were getting distant but they were my first s/o and i didn’t wanna let them go”
you start to word vomit and you don’t realize youre crying
shouto walks over to you and tries to calm you even as you rant
“y/n...”
i’m sorry i blew up on you like that. i’m sorry i was such a jerk. and i know i look stupid and desperate. and i know you said not to come back to you when i find out but i have no one else and--”
he pulls you into a hug to shut you up
“it’s okay. i’m sorry too. i shouldn’t have said that. so can we stop being mad at each other now?”
“please,” you whisper
he gives you a small smile before holding you closer as you start crying into his shoulder
he’s not good with his words, but he comforts you with his silent support
the next day, your ex avoids you like the plague and you have suspicion it has something to do with the icyhot hero who looked a little too innocent
#bnha#mha#bnha headcanons#mha headcanons#bnha scenarios#midoriya izuku#izuku x reader#katsuki bakugou#katsuki bakugou x reader#todoroki shouto#shouto x reader#bnha x reader#bnha x y/n#mha x y/n#hurt and comfort
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I really like the prompt list you reblogged it’s got some good stuff. What about 37. “Because I love you god damn it!” with Loki if you are still needing inspiration.
37) Because I Love You God Damn It!
~~~~
The Secret Is Out
Characters: the Avengers Bunch, Loki, Thor, Clint
Warnings: Dirty words, slight angst
Summary: after putting your life in the line for a teammate you accidentally let a big secret slip.
Announcements: I will always need insperation and requests! They feed my soul! Haha. I'm not gonna lie. Im skipping back and forth on my requests though. I have a really good story line for one but its just so emotional(thats were Im hoping it goes at least) that I didnt want to write it tonight and put my self in a mood. So instead I guess im goimg with a form of anger? Meh. Anyways... I absolutly love love love everything from you guys! The reblogs, likes, and comments are amazing and I am very greatful for all the love I am getting!!!! 💚💚💚💚💚
Loki Masterlist
~~~~
The fight had been rough but not as rough as you were feeling in the moment. You had gotten serverly hurt and had been in the medbay for about a week now and you had a longer road ahead. There had been an explosion and instead of turning to run away you had ran toward one of your team members that had been to distracted to realize what was going on, you had successfully gotten him shoved out of the way but you had taken the brunt of the blast.
Now you were laying here staring at the celing trying to stay distracted as Bruce and Tony looked at your completely shaddered knee and the burns up your leg. Fingers crossed that they would have good news soon.
"Well as of right now kid your out of commission." Tony said helping you sit back up.
"Meaning?" You pulled one of the pillows down so that you could sit up without being uncomfortable.
"Meaning right now, the way it all looks, your gonna be stuck in the bed until it fully heals and after wards theres really no way to tell if your going to be able to work in the field again." Burce said looking at the xrays again. "And your gonna have to have surgery in order to put all the right pieces back in the right places, but we cant really do that until some of the burns heal or at least start to heal. Its gonna be a long drawn out process unfortunately." He sighed setting the charts back down and walking over to you.
"Fucking hell! You mean I'm gonna be pushing paper work? I might as well go work in a damn office with four white walls and a poster that says 'hang in there, its almost Friday'." You placed your head in your hands.
"Hey! At least our paper work is more exciting than just running numbers." Tony said placing a hand on your back. He had been like a fsther to you, taking you in when you didnt have anywhere else to turn except the streets. Your own family had abandoned you at a young age and you had been leaning toward a dark path until Tony. "Besides with your expertise you dont have to sit behind a desk, your fingers arent blown off, you can still hack into stuff I'm sure."
"Tony we had a deal when I moved in. No hacking but you would train me and I could actually do good. Now look at me."
"I said no hacking the good guys, and if I remember correctly you were the one jumping close to the bomb not away from. I hate to be this way y/n but the only one to blame is yourself on this one."
"He would have been worst off than I am if not killed. I think I did the right thing. Besides you would have done the same thing if you had been closer." You sighed.
"Honey the diffrence with that is I have a supersuit, you wear a skin tight, spandex one peice, that I'm not a fan of." He laughted. Bruce had went to go get you some more pain killers to shoot into your IV.
"Tony if I were you I would shut up. Your starting to sound like you might actually love me, might even say your starting to act like a dad." You laughed pulling him into a hug.
"Shut it kid, cant let the others know I have a soft spot for the hacker orphan kid i took in all those years ago now can I." He said kissing the top of your head. "Do you need anything else before the drugs kick in and you pass out again?"
"Yes, can you please bring me my phone charger, laptop, and that really fluffy blanket that you and Pep got for me for Christmas."
"Dont ask to much of me now."
"I wouldnt be asking if you would just let me stay in my room. I hate it down here. I wanna be were the people are." You were starting to get loopy from whatever Bruce had given you.
"Ok little mermaid, get some rest I'll get your stuff." He laughed walking out the door letting you fall into a restless sleep.
You didnt know how long you hade been asleep but you woke up with a groan trying to sit up so you could atleast stretch your back from laying in one spot for to long. You flopped back down dramatically with a sigh. You could sense someine else in the room with you, you always knew when he was around.
"You dont have to hide in the shadows Loki. Your more than welcome to keep me company, you should know that by now." You smiled as the prince walked over and sat in the chair beside you. You could tell he hadnt been sleeping, his hair was fixed as always but his clothes looked worst for wear. He had on a plain black shirt and a pair of gray sweat pants, both of with had wrinkles in them either from tossing and turning or from not being changed in a few days.
"Whats wrong? And dont pull that 'nothing is wrong dear. I'm absolutly fine.' Bullshit. You look horrible." You reatched out to grab his hand. What you and Loki had was diffrent. You didnt just see his as a friend, he didnt just see you as that either though. You had spent many nights sitting up with the silver tounge man many nights laying on the couch watching movies, reading, talking about each of your pasts. He knew more about you than even Tony did.
"I'm still currently trying to wrap my head around why you pushed me out of the way and took the blow when you had a chance of dying from it. You shouldnt have been so thick headed my dear." He took your hand and raised it to his lips kissing the top of your hand.
"Loki." You sighed rolling your head to look back up at the celing. "You would have been hurt alot wordt than I am now, that blast could have killed you."
"I am a god y/n, that blast wouldnt have caused me nearly as much damage as it did you." His voice raised slightly.
"Thats what you think. You think that because you are "immortal" that you can take anything thats thrown at you. That no one really cares about you, that you wouldnt be missed? So why not try to take a blow from a bomb? My god your so stupid sometimes."
"I know I can. Norns y/n I've jumped into space, been brain washed, tried to take over New York, gotten smashed around by the Hulk. I was raised with Thor, he doesnt really go easy on a person. What I'm saying is I dont understand why you, a mear midguardian, would sacrifice themselves for me. If anything would have happened-"
"Nothing did happen though. I'm fine-"
"You have steel sticking from your leg, theres no telling when or even if you'll be able to walk again, and there are highly server burns that will leave scares. You cannot sit there and tell me that you are fine."
"Your right it does suck that I'm jot gonna be able to pull off shorts or a bikini anymore."
"This isnt a joke y/n. You almost died!" He finally yelled.
"And i would do it a thousand times over if that ment saving your damn ass again!" You shouted back.
"Why though?! Why me y/n? I've done horrible things, killed people! My life is meaningless." Tears had sprang to his eyes as he looked away.
"Because I love you God damn it!" You stopped suddenly your jaw dropping at the admission that you hadnt ment for him to hear. His head jerked back to you.
"What?" Shock was all over his face as he stood to walk closer to you. "What did you just say?"
"Because I love you Loki Odinson. Because if you were to die I dont think I would be able to go on living. Because even if you see all the bad things that you've done I can look pass that amd see all the good that you are doing." You reached up placing a hand on his cheek and wiping away a tear.
"I love you too y/n. I have since the day I met you. The girl that didnt care what anyone said when she spent time with me. The girl that can see through every face i put on. I love you so much darling." He placed his hand on your face and leaning down gently kissing your lips.
It felt like you thought it always should you felt electricity run through your body and the two of you connected. It was like getting a breath after not being able to for so long. He pulled away smiling at you.
"What do we tell the others?" He asked laying on with bed with you being easy with your leg. He placed his arm around your middle and pulled you as close as he could.
"I honestly dont care what we tell them. They can figure it out themseves for all I care." You smiled lacing your fingers with his, you yawned placing your head on his shoulder closing your eyes.
"Sleep now my Dove, I will be here when you wake." He felt your gentle breath slow as you fell asleep, the rhythm you of your breath lulling him into his own sleep.
Tony and Bruce walked in the next morning stopping dead at the sight in front of them. You and Loki were still cuddled on the small bed sleeping peacefully.
"Should we wake them up?" Bruce asked looking at Tony.
"Na, let them sleep. Dont want to let them know that we know." Tony saod grabbing Bruce's arm and turning to walk back out of the door.
~~~~
Tag List:
@kgirardin
@sophlubbwriting
@supbeeches
@high-functioning-lokipath
#loki laufeyson#loki odinson#loki#loki avengers#loki daily#loki fanfic#loki fanfiction#loki x reader#loki fluff#loki request#loki masterlist#loki x you#lokilaufeyson#loki one shot#loki x y/n#loki friggason
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Hawks and S/O Play Among Us
Hawks x Reader
Just a small headcanon I made since me, my mom, my brother, my step-sister, and some of my friends play all the time! If you wanna play together or just chat with me lemme know and I’ll make a private group for you all to join and chat with me! ;)
Warnings: strong language, excess use of profanity, so if you don’t like very strong language please leave! A slight little bit of suggestive sexiness from Hawks, but it’s very very brief! That’s it!
Enjoy!
* Cheats all the time. So make sure you both are in separate rooms. If you’re beside him playing on your phones, he will for sure peek over and see if you’re an imposter or not.
* If you’re both Crewmate he’ll stay glued to your side. He’ll do all tasks with you, make sure he follows you if something got sabotaged, even though this may cause you to lose. “Hawks go to the other one! We only have 15 seconds!” “But what if you die? I’ll be all alone, and everyone will sus me because I stayed with you all the time!” “That’s why you don’t follow me and act sus!” Needless to say it’s difficult getting him to leave your side. If you do die, he’ll start blaming your killer even though he has no proof at all. Then he gets voted out and you do tasks together as ghosts. He’s one of those people to randomly start accusing people, and will use you as an alibi. “I was with my girlfriend and brown was following us. He’s pretty sus.” Then you get spams in the chat saying “wtf.”
* if you’re both imposters, he’ll make sure to sit by you and run around freely by himself knowing you’re safe. Even in a fictional game he makes sure you’re safe... most of the time. “FUCK! FUCK!! BROWN SAW ME!!! WHAT DO I DO?!?!” “LIE!” “THEY ALL WANNA VOTE ME OUT WHAT THE FUCK?!?!” Voting occurs, and you vote him out. “YOU BETRAYED ME?!?!” “WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!?! IT WOULD BE SUS IF I DIDNT!!!” He’ll start pouring and follow you around in his little ghost form, assisting in sabotage and warning you if there’s anyone around so you can kill people. If you were away from each other, he would venture on his own and sometimes follow you to see if you can double kill. “Yes! Good job, dovie, you make a great sidekick!” If you are being accused, he’ll defend you immediately, which makes it all the more suspicious. Then you both end up getting voted out.
* You’re the imposter and he’s the crewmate. You kill Hawks first. Always. You have to or else he’ll rat you out immediately. He’s very competitive if you are on opposite teams. If you do get voted out he’ll rub it in your face and laugh. “You’re so predictable, dovie. It’s not even funny!” Well, apparently he thinks it’s funny. He also thinks it’s funny seeing the pouty expression on your face. If your teammate kills him, you start laughing at him. “Hah! Yellow got revenge! Thank you yellow! Carry us to victory!” He scowls. “At least I made it farther.” If you successfully kill him, he’ll stalk you through his little ghost and scrutinize your methods. “You killed him in the open, If it were real you’d be locked away by now.” “It’s a game babe. Let me play how I wanna play. You’re acting childish cause I killed you.” “I hope they vote you out. Liar. Murderer. Imposter!” When you end up winning he’ll pout. “I’ll get you next time, baby bird.”
* He’s the imposter and you’re the crewmate. He’s very good at it. He likes to wait and kill you last since he loves to taunt you. Then he’ll lie to the entire chat and act all innocent. However, if you’re playing with friends, this plan always backfires. You don’t even suspect him because he’s so good at playing the role of an imposter, it’s almost scary. If he’s the imposter, he always wins. If he’s acting sus, you call an emergency meeting and immediately convince everyone to vote him out. It’s a desperate last effort tactic to try and win against him. Of course, he smooth talks his way out of things and you’re the one that gets booted. There will be a small little thing at the end where you are playing with friends :)
* Characters, of course yours is whatever you want, but Hawks... he loves to do stupid ass nicknames that you and all your friends and his make fun of. It’s consisted of “Sexy Bird” “No. 2 Bitches” “(Y/N)’s dick giver” “chickenman” “nugget king” “Endeavor my daddy” “Endeavorsimp” “Hawks” The last one is to try and make his fans day if he has any that play when you both just play online together. His character is almost always yellow with little goggles on top, a white suit, and a mini crewmate as his pet. Many don’t believe that it’s actually Hawks, not until he posts pictures on his social media of you and him playing together.
* Playing with Friends: You, Hawks, Endeavor, Mirko, Dabi, Tokoyami, Shoto, Twice, Shigaraki, and Aizawa (you convinced him to play) All of you are on call. Hawks invited Endeavor, Mirko, and Tokoyami. You invited everyone else. (Lets all pretend that you all are normal and there’s no heroes or villains, just all adults with jobs playing kid games. (U/N) is username by the way since you all get to choose ^^
Below is a short story I wrote for this!
------------------------------------
Small Key!
-(U/N) = You (Orange, Pink, Light Green)
-Sexy Bird = Hawks (Yellow)
-Dabeebee = Dabi (Purple)
-Zzzawa = Aizawa (Dark Green)
-QueenRab = Mirko (White)
-MyDadSucks = Shoto (Cyan)
-DarkBoy = Tokoyami (Black)
-Crustball = Shigaraki (Dark Blue)
-2wice = Twice (Brown)
-Endeavor = Endeavor (Red)
------------------------------------
“Hey everyone!” -(U/N)
“Stop being so happy (Y/N).” -Zzzawa
“Hey Doll.” -Dabeebee
“Dabi~! Your user name is your name in my phone!!! How sweet!” -(U/N)
“Hey, I’m right here. Don’t make me come up there and teach you who you belong to again pretty birdie.” -Sexy Bird
“TMI!! I don’t wanna hear about you’re pathetic sex like Keigo. Baby dick.” -QueenRab
“Language Mirko. Please. Who else is joining (Y/N)-“ -Endeavor
“YOU BITCH WE HAVE BOMB ASS SEX!!! TELL HER (Y/N)!!!!” -Sexy Bird
“Can we just start?” -Crustball
“Please.” -Zzzawa
“I agree.” -MyDadSucks
“Shoto change your name.” -Endeavor
“Fuck off old man.” -MyDadSucks
“I am ready to begin this journey of darkness and deceit.” -DarkBoy
“Me too! Oh hell no, I’m not doin’ this.” -2wice
“Guys! Shut up! I’m about to start the game so we all have to go on mute okay?” -(U/N)
“(Y/NNNNN)! You didn’t tell Mirko about our fucking amazing se-“ -Sexy Bird
------------------------------------
You pressed start before your lover could even finish whatever he was saying and rolled your eyes shouting from the guest bedroom. “KEIGO YOU BASTARD IM REALLY GONNA KILL YOU IF YOU SAY ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT OUT SEX LIFE!!!!” He shouted back almost immediately. “SHE CALLED OUR SEX PATHETIC!!!!” You called back. “ITS NOT BABE ITS FUCKING AMAZING NOW SHUT UP AND PLAY!!!!” The little ‘Shhhh’ appeared and it turned out you and Dabi were the imposters. You grinned widely and went towards the right of “The Skeld” map. You ran up towards weapons to pretend to do the task. You took the time to attempt to sabotage the lights like you always did, but it sadly was still loading. Then a purple little astronaut came beside you with little wolf ears. And the name labeled above was red with the word “Dabeebee.”
‘Alright Dabi... lets kick some ass.’ You thought to yourself with a grin as you finally got your kill cool down relinquished. The first thing you sabotaged was lights, and then you began your search for your lover. You went down and turned left, checking to see if anyone was in communications. No one. You then went through lower storage and up Into electrical. You were met with a dark blue color. Poor Shigaraki, your first victim. Keigo could probably wait. Dabi would back you up. You clicked the kill button on your phone and immediately jumped into a vent. You popped out of MedBay and pretended to do the sample task. Then your screen flashed.
------------------------------------
*DISCUSS/ Dabeebee reported a body*
*Crustball has died*
------------------------------------
“Well, there goes the crusty bastard. He sucked anyways.” -Dabeebee
“Where was the body?” -(U/N)
“It’s (Y/N). I know it is.” -Sexy Bird
“What the hell kinda evidence for you have that it was (Y/N)? I’ll kick your ass if you do it again. You weren’t near her you were with Endeavor and I.” -QueenRab
“Those are some pretty bold accusations against me my love.” -(U/N)
“(Y/N) was with me the whole time. The body was in electrical. We were together going down there and she kept going while I went to go do a task.” -Dabeebee
“It was Dabi! No it wasn’t, he’s a good guy! No! He’s evil!” -2wice
“It was Endeavor.” -MyDadSucks
“It’s (Y/N) and Dabi. You guys have to believe me! I know my birdie and she is an imposter right now. Don’t trust her.” -Sexy Bird
“Shut the fuck up.” -QueenRab
“Kei baby you soundin’ kinda sus, quickly blaming me and Dabi.” -(U/N)
“It’s Dabi and I. And no, I didn’t-“ -Endeavor
“WHATEVER ENDEAVOR WE AREN’T IN SCHOOL!!!” -(U/N)
“I’m a school teacher, (Y/N). Don’t forget I tutored you our freshmen year.” -Zzzawa
“That makes me sound old Shōta.” -(U/N)
“Discussion time just ended. What’re we doing?” -MyDadSucks
“I’m still voting (Y/N).” -Sexy Bird
“Oh yes, I love you too Kei’. So much.” -(U/N)
“It was dark. I couldn’t see anything. I didn’t know where I was.” -DarkBoy
“I’m votin’ Keigo cause he’s bein’ a petty little dickless bitch.” QueenRab
“RUDE.” -Sexy Bird
“I’m skipping.” -Dabeebee
“Me too.” -(U/N), DarkBoy, 2wice, Endeavor, and Zzzawa
------------------------------------
7 skips: (Y/N), Dabeebee, DarkBoy, 2wice, Endeavor, and Zzzawa
1 vote for Endeavor: MyDadSucks
1 vote for Sexy Bird: QueenRab
1 vote for (U/N): Sexy Bird
------------------------------------
*NO ONE WAS EJECTED*
------------------------------------
‘That’s good no one believe Keigo. If they did me and Dabi would be- Dabi and I would be dead.’ Next turn you went left, heading down to MedBay to “finish” the samples. While you waited you checked to see if you could sabotage. A couple seconds later the oxygen depletion was activated. ‘Nice Dabi!’ You cracked a smile and left MedBay, running into a red character, Endeavor. Poor Endeavor. You successfully reached lower engine before killing the old player. You quickly passed Mirko and your face paled once you realized she would find the body and report it, seeing you leaving. You only continued in, receiving nothing from the others about a dead body. You weren’t gonna ask questions. Suddenly...
------------------------------------
*DISCUSS/ MyDadSucks reported a body*
*Endeavor and QueenRab have died*
------------------------------------
“Well, it wasn’t my old man.” -MyDadSucks
“ITS (Y/N) AND DABI!!!! VOTE (Y/N) OUT OR WERE GOING TO LOSE!!!!” -Sexy Bird
“I already voted.” -Zzzawa
“That fast? Who’d you vote for?” -(U/N)
“Hawks.” -Zzzawa
“WHAT?!?!” -Sexy Bird
“I agree! No wait! He’s telling the truth! No way! He’s totally an imposter!” -2wice
“You are being very loud and suspicious. You’re also only blaming (Y/N) and Dabi for no reason. You didn’t even ask where the body was. You passed me coming up from reactor. And the body was in lower engine. You were the only one I sa-“ -MyDadSucks
“I WAS WATCHIN’ SECURITY CAMS!!!! CMON MAN!!” -Sexy Bird
“I’m voting Kei’ too.” -(U/N)
“Me too.” -Dabeebee
“I will not eject my mentor. He’s taught me a lot. He’s intelligent. I believe him.” -DarkBoy
“THANK YOU TOKOYAMI!!! SOMEONE HERE APPRECIATES MY SMARTS!!” -Sexy Bird
“What smarts? You’re a total birdbrain.” -(U/N)
------------------------------------
5 votes for Sexy Bird: MyDadSucks, Zzzawa, Dabeebee, 2wice, and (U/N).
2 votes for (U/N): DarkBoy and Sexy Bird
------------------------------------
*Sexy Bird WAS EJECTED*
------------------------------------
(Dead Chat)
“YOU WERE RIGHT KEIGO ITS (Y/N) and DABI!!!! HE KILLED ME WHEN I FOUND ENDEAVORS BODY AFTER SHE KILLED HIM IN LOWER ENGINE!!!” -QueenRab
“I was the first one to die. It’s been boring. I haven’t been doing anything.” -Crustball
“YOU ARENT DOING TASKS?!?!?!” -QueenRab
“They’re already going to win.” -Endeavor
“SHUT UP!!!” -QueenRab
“I KNEW IT!!!!” -Sexy Bird
------------------------------------
You covered your mouth in shock that you actually got everyone to vote out Hawks. Aizawa was annoyed, Shoto was getting suspicious of how loud and pushy he was being to vote you out without any evidence, Dabi was your teammate so of course he’d vote with you, and then Twice just went with everyone else. You ran down first, running to admin with Tokoyami following right behind you. All the sudden your lover burst into the guest bedroom and stomped over towards your bed, spreading his wings and plopping beside you. “I knew it was you and Dabi. But nobody fuckin’ believed me.” You rolled your eyes and pretended to do the key scan while you sabotaged reactor. “Keigo, you were acting wayyyyy too sus. This is why you always lose when we play with friends. You’re too loud. You gotta be calm and persuasive. How on earth did you become an undercover agent for the FBI.”
“Shut the fuck up. I just wanna win that’s all. I also wanna be right, and I was, and now everyone’s comin’ and tellin’ me I’m right.” He smirked smugly and wrapped one of his wings around you, pulling you close to his chest while he watched you play. You went with Tokoyami and when you finally got him alone in navigation you killed him. Your thumb jerked upwards to go to the vent, but as soon as you did a Dark Green astronaut cane into view. Seeing you vent and leave the dead body. “Fuck!” You cursed and banged your head lightly in your head as the screen lit up. Your lover laughed. “Hey~ there’s still a chance we could win.” You sent him a glare. “Dabi will let us win. He’s a pro! C’mon Dabi! Help me out bro!”
------------------------------------
*DISCUSS/ Zzzawa reported a body*
*DarkBoy has died*
------------------------------------
“(Y/N) vented.” -Zzzawa
“What? Aizawa I literally just fucking saw you leave the body—SHES LYING!!!!” -(U/N)
“Is that Hawks?” -MyDadSucks
“OH MY GOD YOU’RE LITERALLY THE WORST GET THE FUCK OUT OR YOU’RE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH!!!! —THIS IS MY HOUSE!!!! AND I NEED THE BED FOR MY WINGS BABY BIRD!!!!” -(U/N)
“Can you guys fuck some other time? Are you sure you saw (Y/N) vent Mr. Caterpillar man. Do you have your contracts in?” -Dabeebee
“I don’t need input from a unemployed burnt looking drug dealer. It was (Y/N).” -Zzzawa
“A bit harsh coming from a raggedy looking old man.” -Dabeebee
“Can I just point out Twice has been awfully quiet? He bein’ pretty sus right now.” -(U/N)
“I’m the imposter! No I’m not! I’m a crewmate believe me!” -2wice
“He’s too stupid to be an imposter. I’ve been with him he was in MedBay.” -Dabeebee
“Yeah I was! But Hawks is already dead and ratted (Y/N) out! So it’s gotta he her!” -2wice
“Voting ends soon. I’m voting (Y/N). My apologies.” -MyDadSucks
“Agreed.” -Zzzawa
“Awe Shoto it’s okay, I love you so much. This is why you aren’t dead yet because you’re a pure angel! -I’m sittin’ right here pretty bird- no you aren’t an angel, you’re a devilish asshole.” -(U/N)
“I love you too, (Y/N).” -MyDadSucks
“Sorry doll, votes are stacked against you. Good game though.” -Dabeebee
“Yeah, fuck you Dabi.” -(U/N)
“Anytime baby, I’m open.” -Dabeebee
------------------------------------
4 votes for (U/N): MyDadSucks, Zzzawa, Dabeebee, and 2wice
1 vote for Zzzawa: (U/N)
------------------------------------
*(U/N) WAS EJECTED*
------------------------------------
(Dead chat)
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the imposter who killed me.” -Crustball
“(Y/N) I TRUSTED YOU!!!!” -QueenRab
“Guys it’s just a game, don’t take it so-“ -(U/N)
“I STILL WANNA BEAT ALL YOU LAME ASS BITCHES!!!! ILL KICK ALL YOU’RE ASSES!!! JUST YOU FUCKING WAIT!!” -QueenRab
“Mirko please calm down. You’re being loud and obnoxious.” -Endeavor
“(Y/N) is right, even though she killed me. I applaud her devotion to the role. She outsmarted us well.” -DarkBoy
“TOKOYAMI!!! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE!!!! -HAWKS GO GET YOUR OWN PHONE STOP YELLING AND GRABBING MINE!!!” -(U/N)
“HAWKS YOURE NOT DOING YOUR TASKS?!?!” -QueenRab
“HELL NO THATS BORING. I LIKE WATCHING (Y/N) LOSE!
-HEY! I KILLED YOU!” -(U/N)
------------------------------------
You muted yourself and stopped listening to the chat of everyone arguing, mainly Mirko to everyone about doing tasks. You wondered around and looked for Dabi, following him around and assisting in Sabotage. Warm hands roamed over your waist, and a soft kiss was placed on your temple, soft red feathers brushing over your shoulders and lightly dusting over your leg. “Someone’s getting cuddly.” You announced quizzically, watching Dabi lure Twice into comms before killing him and running out. Your lovers scruffy chin rested against your shoulder, his head leaning against yours as he watched your screen. “Even though I’m still annoyed that you killed me, I’m proud of you baby bird. It’s difficult for people to out talk me. Especially you.”
“Was that an insult or a compliment?” You asked not really sure how to feel about his comment. He laughed lowly, the rumbled of his chest vibrating your back. “Hmm... let’s say both. Win win, yeah?” He began to kiss up your neck, the soft smacking of his wet lips against your skin echoing in your ears and making you shiver. “Keigo... what are you doing?” He hummed in dismissal of your words, rubbing your sides gently before slipping down to your hip. “What? I can’t love on you? I show my pretty bird some affection~?” Your lips set into a firm line and you gave him a look. “...you’re still sleeping on the couch.” He pouted. “So... no sex?”
------------------------------------
*DISCUSS/Zzzawa reported a body*
*2wice has died*
------------------------------------
“It was in communications.” -Zzzawa
“Dabi was with me the whole time. I met up with him after he finished a task in weapons. We fixed oxygen and met back up in the cafeteria and moved to reactor.” -MyDadSucks
“You’re the only one down there, and imposters can self report. You put yourself in a bit of a bind there. Mr. Caterpillar man. Guess the teacher ain’t that smart.” -Dabeebee
“I agree. My apologies Mr. Aizawa. No offense or hard feelings.” -MyDadSucks
“None taken Shoto. The evidence is stacked against me. Good game Dabi.” -Zzzawa
“Nice knowin’ ya both.” -Dabeebee
“Wait what-“ -MyDadSucks
------------------------------------
*Zzzawa WAS EJECTED*
------------------------------------
Victory flashed in your screen and you fist pumped the air cheering in victory. Hawks frowned beside you, pulling his hands away and tucking his wings between you, cocooning himself away from you to sulk that he had lost in a game he was supposed to be really good at. “Baby come here.” You called out to him, gently stroking his wings. He grunted and moved a wing down to glare. “...we can have sex later?” He moved his wings to wrap around you again and his arms were around you tightly, hot breath fanning slightly over your ear. “Thank you love bird~ and congrats on winnin’ the game. But...” You swallowed thickly. “B-But what...?”
“I’ll be winnin’ in the bedroom.”
------------------------------------
“Did you forget we weren’t on mute anymore? Horny idiots.” -Zzzawa
“Hawks!” -Endeavor
“(Y/N) IM COMING TO BEAT HIS ASS!!! DONT LET HIM TOUCH YOU!!!” QueenRab
“I think I should get reward for winning, doll. Wanna come to my place? Forget about that birdbrained idiot. Cum for me~” -Dabeebee
“DABI THE FUCK?! Stop being sexual. It’s disgusting.” -Crustball
“I don’t understand why you’re all like this. Was there a class I missed about being weird?” -MyDadSucks
“No. They’re just weird.” -DarkBoy
“Wait we lost.” -2wice
------------------------------------
END.
#my hero academia#my hero headcanons#bnha dabi#hawks#hawks headcanons#among us#my hero academia tokoyami#shoto todoroki#shoto aizawa#mr aizawa#shigaraki tomura#pro hero mirko#endeavor#twice mha#my hero academia x reader#crack headcanon
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Name 1 time Team RWBY didn't care about or help people in the show!
Well yeah
Yang destroyed a nightclub with innocent patrons in it, no, before anyone assumes so they weren't STILL in when it crumbled but Yang walked in enticed a fight and them when the dude was gonna let it slide instigated it. Weather Jr. was a bad guy or not she brought a fight to a place with innocent civilians and didn't even glace back or feel bad once.
(yang's gonna get alot of these, be on the look out.)
And no these aren't in order nor am I gonna remember every single instant cause you idiots get uppity about technicalities like how "DUUUR Ozpin isn't their boss, he's their leader." Crap.
vv read more for mobile vv
In volume 1
- Yang calls a stranger she never met a lost cause cause she wasn't "graced" by yang's presence.
- Velvet was getting bullied and they all sat there, people sworn to protect the peace just watched racism happen (Mimics IRL too!) but only cared when jaune was involved.
- "You're discriminatory!" "I'm a victim!"
- The filthy faunus from the boat
- weiss went on a racist rant about faunus and never apologized to Blake or Sun. She then worded it as if she was doing weiss a favor for being the way she was.
- "I lieeeed" Thanks jaune you're creepy and an asshole
In volume 2
- Yang barely knows Blake and is shoving her to prove a point, even if she cares about her, shoving a stressed out and tired woman then inviting yourself for a hug is super uncomfortable.
- they drag a mech to a freeway sending cars flying and they dont even talk about it or try to see if those people are okay.
- Faunus are lied to by humans that the train they're taking that the explosives will be used to topple the government, the characters never try to explain that roman is just gonna use them as bodies and they could all try to stop him and disarm the bombs and try fixing the government together. There's never a talk.
- They seal the entrance and murder a bunch of faunus and then take a nap.
In volume 3
- Even if mercury is a villain from yang's perspective he's a fellow challenger and she punches him way after his aura breaks which was considered illegal.
- Pretty much everyone literally going "In this friendly competition, let's smack talk that we're gonna make the other bleed." (I know who says that but Yatsu literally is like "I wont hold back." like this is suppose to be FRIENDLY.
- Yang gets pissed that blake registers this thing called fear and guilt and runs away cause she blames herself for her Ex's mental stability. But later Yang admits she wanted her there physically for her benefit, fuck whatever blake wanted I guess.
In volume 4
- "Oh no we gotta hurry to haven, let's walk."
- Ren: I should probably tell them there's a powerful grimm at my old home and they're carrying an injured man but I dont wanna. (Confirmed by miles btw that he wanted to show that there's a bit of selfishness in that decision...but If you're my friend and there's a shark in the water I'll still tell you? Cause I'm not an asshole.)
- Everything to do with Qrow
- Everything to do with jaune's manpain
-Blake about to draw her weapon on a ship captain
- Weiss doesn't' even yell no or reach out as her summon is about to attack a person.
In volume 5
- Ozpin not teaching ruby to use her silver eyes or even telling her.
- Yang literally punching a dude in a bar (No I'm not saying he didnt deserve it. But Miles and kerry call it yang brushing him off in the commentary and you dont brush a person off by grabbing them so they couldn't be brushed off, that's the opposite XD)
- Them arriving in mistral and not being in a hurry to tell anyone in charge about cinder, what she plans to do and anything about beacon.
- Oscar literally projecting on ruby for no reason (honestly we didn't need a second jaune, ruby barely get's development but that's a whole other rant.)
- "Humans didn't do this WE did." Bitch they just live there don't tell them they gotta EARN equality, was this written by a brainlet? (Yes it was)
- Ruby punching oscar a kid with no battle experience square in the face during sparring and cheering after.
- Literally forgiving Ironwood, genocidal ass but instantly going "Let's just murder leo the minority. No jail time, no "why's" just end them from Ozpin.
volume 6
- TURN OFF THE TURRETS PROTECTING THE TRAIN AND KILLING GRIMM THE PEOPLE ARE SCARED XD
- Yang trying to intimidate maria for going "hey fighting in a blizzard is dangerous for two reasons, 1. it's a blizzard and 2. Grimm sense all of your guy's anger, we should find shelter." And yang tries to tell her to shut up XD
- Qrow punching a child regardless of his feelings on ozpin, he's still hosting a child's body
- Team RWBY drawing their weapons on oscar
- Oscar helping them find jinn's name and kinda holding ozpin back and then after Qrow punches him yang balls up her fist and demands he bring him back out. (No matter how stressed you are, oscar is still a child and if your uncle is gonna punch, you the more rash of the two will definitely punch.
- Them being invited into jaune's sister's house and jaune putting a hole in the wall and it never comes up with the couple.
- Jaune yelling at oscar and grabbing him by his collar and for some reason the kid looks up to him???
- Ruby's stupid "we never needed adult help" speech while she sits in an adult couple's house and got lead there by adults and learned how to use her silver eyes to save her and her friends by an elderly lady literally standing behind her. (Great, selfish)
- Salem (she isn't a hero but people for some reason sympathize with her) Literally watches people get thanos snapped and just goes "I'll bring more." She had to spend at least a week with these people to form alliances, and get to know some of them and this was all for ONE GUY! This is literally what people laugh at Obito for it's the exact same motivation of making a pile of people's bodies all of their benefit.
- Also Salem: Walking through the empty world literally going "oh no with no people....how will I get my revenge!?" This is shippuden Esc Writing.
Future volumes
(So I stopped at vol 6 thank god but a friend of mine told me what happened in the future arcs.)
- Literally NOW weiss owns up for her family and her complicit attitude only for a new faunus to go "well it doesn't involve me so I dont care."
- Ren calling out yang's rash attitude and then her stepping infront of him fist balled, because again yang thinks she's a god and getting her ideas and thoughts questioned or challenge invites PHYSICAL VIOLENCE.
And no I dont care about future volumes so dont come into my inbox preaching "Oh well jaune ran into a house and saved some kittens so that should absolve all of their heavy flaws cause I'm a smart." : )
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so riordan made a half assed lame excuse on his lazy/racist writing on piper yesterday and on top of that he made another one on samirah and i’m muslim so i am going to talk about it
damn i’m so sorry these people have been pushing you past your comfort zone about your wildly popular racist caricatures of minorities that have great impact on your young, impressionable target audience. while its fine that if he takes a break for his mental health he still needs to deal with these problems you can’t just take a break and hope they go away.
why does he think everyone is bullying him. if they talked in all caps, cussed at you, or didn’t stop bothering you, i’m sorry they’re just trying to get you to realize how racist your books are, which you keep refusing to believe. i can believe that a few of them were doing it for attention, but it couldn’t be the majority. and my god, god forbid people want you to write your books the way you preferred, without racist stereotypes. 🙈
you can set your boundaries but you keep ignoring the people, you don’t listen. like you put yourself out there as a writer you are open to criticism
why does he keep doing this to seem like the good guy. you give excuses and don’t do anything and just say that its up to you, you can think whatever you want 🥰🥰. like its such an obvious excuse not to take any action.
i’m sorry but no matter how many muslims you’ve interacted with you haven’t gotten the full experience and last time i checked teachers aren’t the kids best friends soo uhm. anyways the rest of it is just him telling his experience with muslimah students so its just there.
so uhm you just said your students ‘unwillingly’ become an ambassador to everyone she knew’. and then you went to talk to them about islam to make sure you were TEACHING THEM YOUR SOURCE MATERIAL CORRECTLY. i’m sorry imagine. these are kids not some scholars you go to consult. there are so many muslims all over the internet and youtube sharing their experiences for you to access on how to ‘represent their experience’ correctly. you’re the teacher here. picture this:as a muslilm, i teach at a public school and while teaching about Christianity in class, no i would double check or some dumb shit with the students. like educate yourself i’m sorry. anyways apparently he blames his mistakes on himself then goes on to deny he ever made any mistakes i can’t.
so this is a blatant lie. 99% of muslims i’ve met have never read all of sahih bukhari and sahih muslim. usually only scholars do that when they are studying islam for YEARS. and FIVE different interpretations of the quran on top of that. ok so sahih bukhari is 9 books that are over 300 pages each and sahih musilm is 7 volumes with also about 300+ pages each. and then the english versions of the quran are 600 pages. and he claims he read five of them. i’m so sorry but no he didn’t. he writes books so fast and he released mcga around the time toa was being released almost one book per year so he did not have a lot of spare time. the rest ig i can let slide. also and if he did do all of that why does he make so many mistakes in writing samirah. and even IF you accept his excuses reading ALL of this source material is great for teaching your class or whatever but not for writing a modern day muslim. you don’t need to lie to us rick ❤️
most of this is just describing what she’s like but his writing did also add in the model minority, smart kid trope. like no they don’t have to be a terrorist or a A+ student who is the best at everything. there is a middle ground to their personality.
i actually used to love his rep in sam. that’s how i got into the series. i saw a hijabi girl on his website. i got excited and read all of his books. i loved piper, leo, hazel, percy, annabeth, sadie, carter, nico, everyone. now that i look back i was younger and didn’t see anything wrong with it back then. its great that he tried to portray minorities but he did it so badly and now is just denying the faults that his now older readers are trying to tell him.
hey, uhm didn’t you read all of sahih bukhari and muslim? hmm i didn’t think so. anyways the way he dealt with it honestly wasn’t that bad. but the whole ‘whoops’. like why does he keep portraying himself as the innocent old white man just trying his best.
honestly how he wrote samirah as a hijabi was the dumbest thing i’ve ever read. its is totally fine if she wasn’t hijabi, many muslim girls aren’t, and that is their choice. but he decided to make her like a weird middle ground. it was so lazy and inconsistent. in the first book she says she wears it when she needs to, like in situations like going to the masjid. this was fine, since many muslim girls do that. then in the next books she wears it all the time except when she’s in valhalla for some reason. hijabi girls take of their scarves when they’re at home or with family, but making her claim the entirety of vallhalla as her family. that was just demeaning and stupid to me. it takes away its value. and i fucking hated that last sentence. for hijabis, their hijab is important and not a toy or weapon or a MAGIC ITEM. and then on top of that she would have to take it of to hide. he could’ve made it anything else. her hijab isn’t some token item istg.
i love how he admits that they are a big problem and abusive and usually engage with child marriages. i’m relatively he doesn’t understand what the people even meant by it. the practice is a problem that isn’t supposed to be seen in a nice light. the only possible way it could be slightly ok is that if ADULTS agree they 100% do not want to choose who they want to get married to and let their parents choose, and both sides agree. samirah was a child and he decided to make her wedding life decided since the age of 12. and it was ok because amir was conventionally attractive and she loved him. WHAT IF SHE DIDNT. this literally is a dangerous arranged marriage. and arranged marriages are not ok, and mostly perpetuated by victims of it who will end up passing it down their family lines. my parents got an arranged marriage and I HAVE NEVER SEEN THEM DISPLAY ANY SIGNS OF AFFECTION. arranged marriages are not a trope that your can turn around to be a quirky personality trait for your characters.
i’m sorry that’s not how arranged marriages work. most likely if she said something her grandparents would have shut her done and continued with the marriage, as that is what you usually happens. do not portray the small amount of consented, ‘happy’ arranged marriages as the majority. it is a huge problem that many desi/middle eastern cultures are trying to erase. even on top of that he writes situations where she’s going to be in trouble for acting up and ‘jeopardizing the marriage agreement’ and that her grandparents think she’s ‘lucky that she could get the fadlan family to agree to marry their son to her’. these statements are often used in forced and dangerous marriages, so don’t try and justify your actions. if you wanted to show traditional customs in a positive light, there are so many richer parts of samirah’s culture you could’ve focused on and you chose arranged marriage. 😻 all you’ve done is given parents and authority figures a westernized resource to justify arranged and forced marriages, especially with the minimal explanation on how the marriage isn’t forced in the actual books. and yes, your books do condone child marriage samirah is clearly deemed into this marriage ever since the young age of 12. she lived her life knowing she would marry amir. no one has only one crush throughout their life. imagine how she would’ve grown up. sorry you only consider opinions that align with those in you mind.
i’m going to be honest i did like that one scene it was written nicely and accurately but the explanation he gives just ruins the entire thing. the way he just if this strikes you as islamophobic, or samirah as a hurtful, uhm no explanation i just disagree 😽. the way you wrote her is a hurtful stereotype sorry you can’t see it.
oops, you did. too bad you don’t want to do anything about it.
why do you think people are painting you in a negative light, so many of your characters are written on hurtful and negative stereotypes. people aren’t painting it that way, you need to calm down w your ego and listen. dang i’m sorry your best is giving half-assed excuses and not actually doing anything. i’m even more sorry people are mad that a highly privileged author that has a lot of influence is done talking about his racist depictions of minorities in his books.
dang must be lucky to take a break from the social media, imagine what all the minorities you wrote about have to go with everyday weather they are on social media or not. people aren’t bullying you this is valid criticism you refuse to listen to.
fuck you
obviously these are my opinions do not judge every muslim based on what i’ve said come to me if you have a problem with it
anyways support jewish, muslim, black, brown, asian, hispanic, indigenous, lgbtq+, disabled, and other minority authors and creators.
#anti rr#fuck him at this point#samirah al abbas#she deserved so much better#i probably made so many spelling mistakes smh#long post#mcga#rr crit
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"If anything happened to her I'll kill you, Yen." with Geralt x reader please
This doesn’t follow a particular timeline and it’s just sort of my brain spewing but I hope you like it!
You’d been aiding Geralt for some time. He had been reluctant at first. He didn’t need a sidekick but you were a talented enough witch. You had a soul too. You didn’t crave unimaginable power nor did you thirst for blood. You used your knowledge to aid and nothing else. You were the best person he had known in some time. Selfless. Loving. Giving. He didn’t deserve you one bit, not even as a friend. Yet he felt he couldn’t let you go. He cherished you, or he hoped he did.
The both of you had your fair share of fights. He was stubborn and you were easily hurt. Geralt knew how to make his words hurt though. He didn’t pull punches. He was constantly trying to drive away the good things in his life. It was something you and Jaskier had bonded over. Both of you knew he cared, both of you had been a victim to his tempers.
Just the night before, you two had gotten into a foolish fight and Geralt wasn’t proud of how things had gone.
“I’m simply saying you should be careful around her...” You had muttered, eyes glancing to Yennefer as she smirked into a drink. You knew she could hear you, but you didn’t care. You didn’t trust her and in your opinion, Geralt was too caught up by the wrong head to realize that she posed more danger than he should be getting into.
“I’m careful. We all are. I don’t trust her either but she isn’t going to kill us while we sleep Y/N,” Geralt said moodily.
“You trust her enough to fuck her,”
“That has nothing to do with this,” He’d said, eyes burning and narrowed at you as your bottom lip went out into a pout.
“My point is that you’re so busy thinking about getting laid you don’t realize that she might not be the sort of person you want to be in company of,” You’d tried reasoning but you knew it was a lost cause.
“Maybe you aren’t the company I should be in if you go around making accusations simply because she gets attention for being beautiful and you dont!” Geralt had roared finally, tired of the conversation. He watched your eyes go wide for a second before he saw them go dull. You had erected a wall so quickly he barely had time to register your emotions. That’s how he knew it hurt.
“Wait- I didnt mean it,” He sighed, hand going to rub at his face in exasperation.
“Goodnight Geralt,” You had said instead of continuing the conversation. You had rushed to your room, wiping away your frustrated tears before they could fall.
By the morning you had been gone. At first he had believed that you had up and left with no reason to come back. You’d had enough of Geralt of Rivia. But your things were still in the room you had rented and Jaskier had been looking jumpy all morning while Yennefer was looking far too pleased.
Jaskier had been the first to cave, admitting he had seen you earlier that morning and that Yennefer had been talking to you about the wraith that the witcher was after. Something had been said about impressing Geralt, of all things. How could you think you needed to seek his approval, especially by doing something so insanely stupid?
Yennefer had chased you into the arms of danger yet he hadn’t been there to keep you level headed. He had angered you the night before, wounded your pride. He should have known something like this would happen.
“If anything happened to her, I will kill you, Yen,” Geralt growled, hand gripping Yennefer’s fragile throat as she grinned in delight but he couldn’t find himself to care. He was disgusted by the sight of her currently. All she was was a pretty face and a wicked soul. You were so much more than that and he had been a fool not to realize sooner.
“Oh please,” Yennefer gasped, craning her neck in an attempt to get out of his grip. With every passing second Geralt was getting more frustrated, more worried, and every second his grip around her throat was getting tighter. She couldn’t breath properly and it was beginning to get uncomfortable. Her eyes flashed a dangerous purple as she wiggled out of his grip. “Y/N is fine, and if she isn’t, it’s her own damned fault for being weak.”
Geralt tensed considerably more and his shoulders were tense. He towered over Yennefer with a threatening glare. “She is not weak,” He hissed, “She never has been. And if you think she is then you are far more misguided than I thought you were Yennefer,” Her name was spat out like poision from his lips. He felt sick. Falling under her spell and her vicious beauty. Yennefer was corrupted and wicked and terrifying. She was rage and hatred and vengeance. He had so easily fallen victim to it. Taking his own troubles and letting them get caught up in her whirlwind of pain.
He couldn’t help but let out a heavy sigh, the fight leaving him as his shoulders sagged. He stepped away, releasing Yen’s throat as she gasped for her first full breath in some minutes. Geralt’s worry was getting the better of him. You were nothing like Yennefer, nothing like him for that matter. Your heart was gold and your smile was sunshine. You had experienced pain, far more than your fair share yet you weren’t spiteful. You let it mature you instead of letting it destroy and distort you. You became better than what your circumstances had tried to make you into.
And here you were, trying to prove something to him by taking on that blasted wraith by yourself. He snapped out of his upset stupor. You were out there, in danger and he was feeding Yennefer’s cat fights by staying. Without another word he was storming out of the inn and throwing his leg over Roach’s saddle.
Not halfways to his destination however he was met by a familiar sight. You were slumped heavily over your horse, hair matted to your head. Your clothes torn. He called your name and watched as you slowly lifted your head, eyes squinting and falling shut with the effort it had taken to open them in the first place.
Geralt felt a lump in his throat as he noticed that blood caked underneath your nails and smeared across your face. There was a fresh wound that was dripping crimson blood onto your bare shoulder. He dismounted Roach quickly and your horse halted before him and you groaned at the sudden stop.
“Y/N...you fucking fool. What were you thinking?” He said but there was only concern in his voice.
“Trying to prove,” You rasped, letting him pull you from your horse with gentle but sturdy hands, “that I don’t need to be beautiful, I just need to be better than that bitch, maybe then you’ll notice me,” You admitted. You weren’t thinking clearly. You’d hit your head quite a few times. Been through hell with that damned beast. “I did it Geralt,” You said once more before falling limp in his arms.
He took you back to the inn quickly and when Yennefer met him at the door he made sure to put her in her place. That blasted woman wouldn’t be sticking around any longer, his attention was on you now. You needed him. You were important to him. You were good to him and he had been wretched to you. Maybe Yennefer was now the scapegoat of his frustrations but he did feel relieved when she disappeared from his sight. Jaskier had come to check on you shortly after, reporting that the witch had indeed left.
You were thankfully, going to be alright. Geralt stayed with you and refused to move. When you woke, he was there with a lukewarm glass of water and furrowed brows.
“Explain,” He demanded and you winced as you sat up enough to sip at the drink he had given you.
“Got anything stronger?” You requested and once the alcohol was in your hand you sighed.
“I just figured I could take care of it myself. I believe in my abilities and if I didn’t think I had a chance I wouldn’t have gone, but I was successful so why are we talking about this?” You asked, exhaustion lacing your words.
“Because what you did was pure idiocy, Jaskier has more brains than you,”
“Ah, back to insulting again, are we?” You commented. “So lets see, Yennefer has more beauty and Jaskier has more brains so I’m what? Useless to you?”
“No-” Geralt rushed to get out as he realized once again he was causing more damage than good. Your voice was bitter but your eyes were sad, downcast.
“It’s fine, I’ll get over it. It did hurt though, what you said last night. I know I”m not the prettiest thing to ever walk the earth and I don’t care about that anyway, but I felt like I needed to do something to get your head out of your ass. I’m worth something Geralt and I don’t like when you make me feel otherwise,”
At your admission his hand was engulfing yours. You were comforted by the lazy strokes of his thumb across your knuckles. “You are worth much more than anyone has ever given you credit for.... It was cruel of me to make you feel like you weren’t wanted or needed. You’re my...friend, Y/N.” He nearly grimaced at the word but it brought a small smile to your lips.
“A friend. Was that so hard to say?” You teased.
“Yes, no shut up or I’ll regret it,” He seethed but you gripped his hand tighter, kissing his knuckles.
“Just try to remember that I may be tough but I’m not invincible Geralt, I care about you and when you say things that make me feel like you don’t care, I take it to heart,”
“I do care,” Geralt grumbled, pressing a kiss to your bruised temple. “A lot, actually. I was terrified when Jaskier told me where you left to. I saw red, blamed Yen for it and grabbed her by the throat, made her leave... I do care.”
“I know now,” You smiled letting your eyes close again as sleep approached. You had taken quite the beating and now that you and Geralt were in a good place again you were ready to rest some more.
#geralt#geralt of rivia#geralt x reader#geralt of rivia x reader#witcher#the witcher#henry cavill#witcher x reader#request#ask#prompt#sorry it wasn't my best work#hope you like it :)
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Coward (John Murphy x Reader Smut Part 2)
Warnings: Kinky shitt
Requested: Yes, "53 and 54 smut with John Murphy"
>>
"Your sisters boyfriend told me to make sure you don't drown. I dont know though, I might just have to look away." You knew he was talking about Clarke and Bellamy, even though she wasn't really your sister, and they weren't really together, it was obvious.
"Please, go away." You huff. You thought back to what he said earlier. 'You killed your mom by blabbing. Don't tell me to shut up.' He had been ranting about some guy not helping with the wall. You were six when it happened. You had spent ten years in the sky box.
Your mother had you steal narcotics from the medical center for her and her friends to get off on. They threw you in there because, hey, if you're stealing now, you'll be stealing later. You were a year younger than half the hunters there, but you were twice the shot.
He caught up to you and slung his arm over your shoulder. You glared over at him and shook it off. "Dont touch me, you coward."
He puts his hand, palm down, over his heart. "Im hurt." He says In a bored voice.
You ignored his tone and spoke anyways. "Yeah? Well you should be, you don't blame a person for their parents death, especially if that person was six when they died." You had never known your dad, although you wondered. Maybe it was a tall man with the same hair, or a short guy with the same eyes, or both, or neither. Maybe it was him, who had the same laugh, nose, mouth. Anything, and you thought, 'Maybe it's him.' But it never was.
Your mother never told you anything other than, 'We're better off without him.' She changed her story a lot. One time it was, 'We were drunk.' Another it was, 'We were young and he didnt want his parents to know.' They were endless.
You reached the lake and told him to turn around. "Why? The view is nice." He was looking at your ass when you turned around.
Your face turned a bright red and you spun him around, hands on his arms. "Stay there."
He didn't, so this time you didn't take off your undies or your bra.
You dove under the freezing water. It helped you wake up from the long day. The sun was still up. You figured you had around an hour until it would get closer to dark.
You come up, and see him taking off his clothes, too. "What are you doing?" It was a stupid question.
"Stripping for you." He said, an eye roll accompanying the words.
You turned red, and went under again, opening your eyes. It only burned for a second, but It was so pretty, shades of green, brown, and blue danced in front of you. You watched as little schools of small fish swam by, and waved. One stopped in front of you, a small, blue fish, who looked Iike a baby. You decided on the name Cardan, a character in a book you read back on the Ark.
When you didnt think you could hold you breath any longer, you came up, gasping for air. You stood up straight on the smooth rock, and looked around for Murphy. He wasnt anywhere in site. You sighed, then floating on your back, felt a poke at your side. It made you jump, swatting at whatever it was underwater.
You saw that the thing was big, and you swam as fast as you could back to land. You hadnt realized it was Murphy, so when you got back, and saw his dark hair in the water, you were fuming.
"What the hell's the matter with you?" You screamed. He was out of the water and laughing at first. "Don't you remember Octavia almost died because of something in there, and the first logical thought you had was 'hmm, maybe I should poke the calm girl'?" You mimicked his voice when you spoke the last part.
He was a foot away from you, probably less. "Say something!" You yell. You were mad, and scared, and hurt, all at the same time. Angry that he would do that, scared of the things in the water, and hurt that he would scare you like that. He didn't say anything.
"Do something, dammit!" He walked up to you quickly, pressed his hands on your face, then smashed his lips to yours. You kissed back fiercely, you were both angry, at everything. You both lost your parents to substance abuse. You moaned into his mouth as his hands explored your body.
"Is- is this-" He starts saying between sloppy kisses. "What you had in mind," his hands find your hair, as he lowers you to the sand behind a rock, where you had layn your towel down. "When you said to do something?" He sits up, straddling you, to take his shirt off.
>>
Out of words, sorry peoples. Love you guys somuch
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good morning! raphael trying to blame me for this situation not being private is a reach and super shitty and they are clearly not sorry for literally ANYTHING with the way they worded their doc. they are literally unapologetic and it SHOWS. it’s so obvious that they’re not fucking sorry at all. this is literally just about trying to save their fucking ass and make me look bad lmao. lying and being like “well i never tried to silence her, i offered to talk to her and she refused, the door is still open” like that’s such a weak way to be like oh well im not silencing her as if you didn’t tell me to “shut up” and “shut the fuck up” or “let’s not do this” as if that gives me any room to speak. you constantly blamed me for “deciding when/where conversations ended” and constantly made me feel like i was being fucking punished FOR EVERYTHING THAT I DID. me not wanting to talk about something because i was getting very upset and then frustrated is a valid reason to not wanting to talk, but YOU would push me and guilt trip me by saying “oh, so when i want to talk, fuck my feelings, but you get to decide when we do/don’t talk” like. i understand how this might be hypocritical because i used to force you to patch things up with me immediately (which i admitted to in my first imgur) but i learned and stopped. i don’t think, at least from my perspective and im sorry if i’m wrong, that i continued this behavior. i really don’t think i kept trying to force you to talk. if arguments got strong on, i feel that it’s because you brought them up. i literally did anything to avoid fighting with you at all costs but literally everything i did would just piss you off and i just can’t fucking win lol.
it’s so unfair to fucking use caps from someone vent twitter where, by the way, a lot of the shit i tweet out of anger/being sad are???????????????? twisted out of context and it’s so fucked up because 85% of the time im having a god damn meltdown and im spiraling????? you’re so fucked up for this, especially you ki you’re literally like. the most two-faced snake i have EVER met like dude. you’re so fucked. up. how do you fucking sit there with a good and clean conscience without guilt for constantly capping people’s vents and sharing them around or talking about them to other people like? you’re so gross for this hello??? you’re a fucking adult and you shit on people for 2014 tumblr behavior but you literally capping people’s shit like this is so. 2014 tumblr. grow up. grow. up. you literally act so fucking nice behind ppl’s backs and pull shit like this and i feel so fucking stupid for defending you to raphael so hard when they shat on you about savage/extreme raiding and yes i have caps for this because i’m sure they didn’t show you everything lmao. you are literally. so childish dude. like dude??? it’s so fucking disgusting of you to pretend to be my friend and just like, sit in my vent account to what, just watch me??????? like no one ever made u fucking follow me on my private twitters and like it’s so gross that u’d take my shit out of context and and run with them and twist them and then not even fucking ask me like i get? you having avpd but that’s literally no excuse for how u acted or what ur doing rn like lmao man you’ve hated me for so long and it fucking shows and it’s so rich considering you admitted to other people that you thought raphael was treating me like shit and that you had your own issues with them. it’s so. rich. lmao i feel so dumb ever defending you when you like ?? just literally have done everything time and time again to do shit like this. like i don’t think im in the wrong for fucking ????????? venting about my relationship or wanting to seek out advice for it and you literally lying saying that i TRIED to make raphael look bad to you when i literally TRIED SO HARD TO DO THE OPPOSITE and that’s why i didn’t give you caps bc i didn’t want it to blow harsher than it TRULY was but yeah no i have caps and they’re yours. don’t worry. and like. you’re so fucking sick in the head to put this on me saying “this isn’t a new realization” AS IF ??????????? I WASN’T SITTING IN DENIAL OVER HOW RAPHAEL TREATED ME BECAUSE I KEPT GETTING GUILT TRIPPED AND MANIPULATED AND I GENUINELY. WAS SO IN LOVE WITH THEM LIKE YOU HAVE NO IDEA. HOW MUCH SHITTY BEHAVIOR I TURNED MY EYES AWAY FROM AND ALLOWED TO SLIDE BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS NORMAL, I THOUGHT WE COULD WORK THROUGH ANYTHING. I DESPERATELY WANTED THINGS TO WORK BECAUSE I LOVED THEM AND I DIDNT WANT TO GIVE UP AND WALK AWAY BECAUSE IM STUPID AND SOFT AND I WANTED. THINGS TO WORK. WITH MY BOYFRIEND LOL. i was in denial. for so. long. even with so many fucking people trying to tell me “this behavior is shitty, it’s abusive” i didnt fucking listen and i stayed there so fuck you with this victim blaming bullshit and saying “this isn’t a new realization for her and her eyes aren’t just suddenly open” like. lol. that’s so???????????????? victim blamey you’re fucking sick for it.
anyway that’s all i wanted to say for now. i’m gonna respond properly to everything and it might take me a few weeks bc i have to go through so much shit so. if anyone else has questions in the mean time feel free. but my spoons are sparse.
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You & Me : chapter 30
A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA
Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS
CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29
NOTES:
-one chapter is her pov, the next is his.
-5.1k
-im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it.
-there WILL be smut. but not only smut.
-this is a romance, comedy, smut story.
-for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.
- notes: i know its a long chapter but i didnt want to cut the smut scene. sometimes i feel like i go too far with smut but hey, you tell me. also well im slightly disappointed because i didnt really get many notes in the last chapter sooo hopefully this one doesn’t flop? thank you!
if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)
requests! : ok so i didnt add everything in the requests but i tried!!!
Chapter 30 : Her chapter
OLIVIA
The room was dark and we remained silent for a while, both lost in our thoughts. I was thinking about what he had asked me, wondering if I was ready to get back into a relationship and somehow, it was driving me insane. Was I ready? Could I just jump back into it and move on? If I did and realized I was not ready, would our relationship end up the way it ended the first time? I felt something twist in my stomach and held my breath as i teared up. All the emotions I had felt during that time apart from him came rushing down, invading my body and confusing me even more. I knew I couldn't go through that a second time, but I also was not sure it had anything to do with the official title we could give each other. In fact, if Niall left again right now, it would probably be just as bad. Thinking about losing him made me grip the sheets of the bed hard and I bit my bottom lip so hard I actually hurt myself. The truth was, I had fallen again. No wait, 'fallen' was not the right word. I never thought being in love gave me the sensation to fall. No, it was the opposite. Being in love made you feel like you flew so high, way over the clouds. The fall, however, could literally break your neck and kill you. That's how I had felt when Niall had broken up with me a year ago. That was what I never wanted to go through ever again. But here I was, laying next to the only man I was ever in love with, the only man I'd ever be in love with, risking my sanity once again. I had it so fucking bad I didn't know how to process everything and if he cut my wings again, who was going to save me this time?
Niall's hand reached for mine that was laying in between us and held it. I squeezed his fingers instead of the sheets and sighed low. How did he do that? How did he calm me down with a simple touch? Why did he have so much control over me, physically and mentally?
"I didn't want to make things awkward between us." he finally talked in a low tone, turning his head my way. "I also don't want to pressure you into anything. Maybe I shouldn't have turned this into sex earlier, in the bath tub but... it was the first way I found to make sure I didn't have a verbal diarrhea of all the things in my mind."
I turned my head his way too and let my eyes roam on his face. I could still see him well but the features I couldn't see in the darkness were engraved in my brain anyway. It was insane the amount of time I had spent watching him and I didn't even care that it sounded so pathetic.
"Why didn't you want to tell me about the thoughts in your head?" I asked in a soft tone.
"Because I don't think you're ready to hear them."
The first thing that came to my mind was to answer him that I was ready but my heart jumped in my chest and I realized he was right. Maybe I was not ready to find out about his deep thoughts, maybe I knew it would either hurt me or stress me even more than I already was.
"I'm sorry." I whispered, feeling myself tear up. "I'm such a mess, I know."
He turned his whole body my way and brought his free hand to my head, slipping his fingers in my hair before moving closer and kissing me gently.
"Don't apologize." he let out against my lips before kissing me again. "No one is blaming you for anything, I promise. You take your time, you take whatever time you need, and I'll be here the whole time, right by your side."
"Why, Niall?" I whispered, blinking a few times before shutting my eyes tight. "Why do you want to wait for me?"
"Because I'm in love with you. Because I can't fucking live without you. Because I'm convinced we're meant to be." he replied quickly but softly. "I've always known we were meant to be. I made a few mistakes but I never stopped loving you, not even a second. And I know I was stupid and selfish but I genuinely thought it was alright because at the end of the road, it was going to be only you and me."
I wanted to smile at the reference from his song but I couldn't. I knew he was a different man but it didn't change the fact that he took me for granted when he broke up with me, and that now that he had lived what he wanted to live, he just wanted me back. I shouldn't be so bitter about it but it was not easy and when his mouth found mine again, I wrapped my arm around his waist, turning to face him, and pulled him closer.
"I want to trust you." I admitted, trying not to cry. "But it's just so hard, Niall. My heart is all in, I hope you know that. But my head... my head remembers. My head won't let me forget."
"I know petal, I know." he whispered, bringing his mouth on mine again to kiss me harder. "I don't want you to forget. I'll wait. I'll wait until you forgive me completely, I'll wait to see if you'll ever want to forgive me at all." He kissed me deeply and i felt a wave of intense love for him wash over me. "I'll wait a few lifetimes if I have to."
We kissed deeper and he pulled me against him, pressing our bodies together as I felt tears on my cheeks. I didn't know why I was so emotional but crying made me feel better. Or maybe it was him. Or a bit of both. We fell asleep together and when I woke up, I was still pressed against him. I brought my lips to his again and he groaned, answer my kiss before letting his mouth run on my jaw and neck.
"We should go hiking today." he proposed in a low tone, making me frown.
The moment we had had the night before was gone but somehow, something still lingered between us, like an emotion or a strong connection, I was not sure.
"Hiking? Yea, okay. And then bungee jumping? Sky diving, perhaps?" I let out ironically, making him laugh.
"I'm talking about hiking, not extreme sports. Just hike up a mountain, a small one!" he quickly added, making me grimace.
"That fat ass of mine didn't grow for no reason, Niall. Sport isn't my thing." I added with a smile before his hand reached for my butt.
"In no way would I want this ass to go, but baby a bit of hiking isn't that big of a deal. I'm not asking you to come for a run with me." he pointed out.
I pulled away as he grabbed my ass tighter, making me smile more. I loved him so much I would have actually agreed to go for a run with him, but I didn't mention it.
"Fine." I replied, making his face illuminate suddenly. "But you wait for me at all times and if I want a break, we take a break."
"Deal!"
The hike to the top was not as tough as I thought it would be and since Niall knew how clumsy I was, he helped me every time he noticed I needed it. I loved feeling his hand in mine, even if only for a few seconds, and it always surprised me how strong he was. We stood at the top and I tried to catch my breath as I looked around. Despite being not that high, the sight was very nice and I suddenly felt happy that I agreed to that.
I pushed my hair behind my shoulders, now totally aware of how dirty it was, and rubbed the back of my hand on my sweaty forehead. Without thinking, I gripped Niall's fingers and didn't let go as I looked at the skyline. I felt him grip my fingers tighter but he remained silent for a while before taking his phone out. He let go of my fingers to take a few pictures but I still kept quiet until I finally turned around. My lips curled when I noticed he was taking a picture of me and I shook my head.
"Nop, none of that!" I let out with a chuckle as I took a few steps closer, putting my hand in front of my face. "I'm all sweaty and dirty."
"That's your best state!" he argued with a laugh when I realized he was actually filming.
"Oh my god, Niall stop filming!"
He laughed more and pulled me closer to kiss me. I let him press his mouth on mine and closed my eyes, perfectly aware that he was actually filming that kiss, too. I wanted to be annoyed but the truth was, I liked it. I wanted souvenirs of us, too, even if I already had a ton of those. He pulled his phone down, still kissing me, and he probably put it back in his pockets because I felt both his hands reach for my jaw and neck. I felt the salty taste of his skin on my tongue and it made my whole body throb. Everything about him was turning me on.
"Fuck, you taste so good." I whispered, making him smile against my lips.
"I'm all sweaty." he pointed out with a chuckle as I shrugged before he became serious again. "If we were a normal couple, I'd post that video on instagram with the caption 'I love her'. I'd post the picture I took of you with the skyline, too. I'd probably caption it with, 'the most beautiful sight' like the cheesy man I am and I'd be talking about you. I'd take a selfie of us right now and post it too. Our friends would like it and leave comments about how disgustingly sweet we are. My cousins would make fun of me. Louis would comment everything by laughing at us with a few emojis and curse words. And we wouldn't give a fuck because we'd know they'd just be jealous."
The thought made me sad but at the same time, his words were nice to hear. Sometimes, I allowed myself to imagine that we were both still living in Ireland together. We'd have normal jobs, hang out on the weekend, meet on wednesdays for a drink or two with our friends, and keep going to the movies only us two every friday night. Perhaps he would have fallen in love with me anyway, or I liked to believe it, and we'd buy a house together and probably a dog. We'd take long walks through the familiar streets and maybe fly to France once in a while to see my parents. I couldn't tell if this story was better than the one we were going through right now and I tried to convince myself that the context was different, but the feelings would be exactly the same. Would they, though? Would Niall really love me that way? Would we have drifted apart? Would he have found an other girl, a girl I probably knew, someone that went to school with us, someone I would be jealous of forever, even after I would have found someone, too?
I swallowed the lump in my throat, knowing I would never know, and just tilted my head as I stared at Niall. He looked amazing, as he always did, and I just sighed.
"I'd probably post a million of pictures of you, especially pictures of you when you fall asleep on the couch. I have tons of those on my phone."
He frowned and his lips parted as he pulled away a bit, his arms now around my waist. "No you don't!"
"I do! And they're password protected so don't even try to delete them!" I pointed out with a smile, making him grimace. "More seriously, Niall. I like our story. We're not a normal couple and it's alright. We're both very private anyway and everyone in the world getting a glimpse of us like we were some reality tv show to follow... I wouldn't like that."
"I know." he whispered, making me smile sadly.
"I barely post on social medias anyway, but apparently it was a 'good idea' to make them official and stuff. Not my idea."
He laughed. "Yea I sort of guessed." he admitted, bending down again to kiss me. "Okay how about I treat you to a nice restaurant now? Then we can end the night in our incredible motel room, what do you say?"
"And I'll show you the surprise I brought." I added with a smirk. Immediately, he frowned and I chuckled. "Don't worry, you'll like it."
The whole time it took us to go back to the car, I spent it thinking about what he had talked about. Us being a normal couple and doing normal things together. It was all a fantasy, but it was still interesting to imagine.
We agreed that we needed a shower first and quickly took one together before getting dressed. I was surprised neither of us had tried to start something in the shower but I really wanted to build the lust between us and perhaps, that's what he wanted to.
The restaurant was crowded and I just hoped no one would recognize us. Niall asked for a table far from the door and we ended up in a corner and hidden from most people, which made me feel slightly better. I proposed to sit so he was facing the wall to make sure he wouldn't be recognized and finally, we asked for a bottle of wine and ordered our meals. I felt uncomfortable in the dress I had picked and realized that I hadn't actually worn something like that in a while, except for the wedding we went to. Niall never complained about the clothes I would wear and that was nice. He always had a nice comment when I was wearing a dress or a skirt but he also made a few raunchy comments when I was in sweatpants so I was not sure it had anything to do with the clothes.
"You look gorgeous." he just said, making me smile as I brought my glass to my lips.
"I love what you're wearing, too." I pointed out, raising my eyebrows.
His suit was a lighter blue than what I was used to and it looked nice on him. I stared at the chain on his neck and tilted my head, enjoying the fact that he was not wearing a tie.
"I'm very glad you love showing your chest hair because I really love seeing it."
He laughed more than I expected as he filled my glass again.
"You know what I love? You. Naked. Laying on a bed and ready for me." he whispered with a smirk.
"That's very very dirty of you." I chuckled, taking a sip. "Are you trying to get me drunk?"
"You're the one who gets very dirty when you're drunk." he pointed out with a smile. "But no, I'm not. Are you gonna tell me what's the surprise you brought?"
"If I tell you, you may want to skip dessert."
"I skip desserts often now, I'm not 15 anymore." he rolled his eyes with a smile.
"Try more 20. You love dessert." I raised my nose up before pressing my lips together. I watched him as he looked down at his plate and took a bite of his food before taking a sip of wine. "Handcuffs. I brought handcuffs."
I didn't expect that but he literally choked on his wine, making me laugh. I tried to hide it by biting my bottom lips and he finally cleared his throat. I felt bad when I saw his eyes water but he finally found his breath back and blinked a few times, staring at me.
"Why?"
"The other day you said you wanted me all tied down." I just shrugged. "I just thought it was worth a try."
He stared at me again and I stared back, my smile turning into a fond one as I tilted my head.
"You're ready to try anything, aren't you?"
"Almost, yea." I admitted, shrugging only one shoulder this time. "If it turns you on then, i'm in!"
"That gives me so many thoughts." he admitted with a laugh and I could swear he started eating quickly after that.
I finished my plate and when his eyes met mine again, I smiled more. I meant what I had said, I was ready to try many things with him, whether it was sexual or not, and the thought of loving each other with so much distance between us like we would have to do very soon made me hold my breath. That, too, I was ready to try. And he had promised he wouldn't see anyone else, which reassured me more than I thought it would. Was I starting to trust him again?
"You're right. We're gonna skip dessert." he finally let out, making me laugh again.
We finally asked cakes to go and he left the bag near the door as soon as we walked in the room. His lips found mine and I kissed him back, chuckling against his mouth as we stumbled around to reach the bed.
"You think someone saw us today?" I asked low, pushing his jacket off his shoulders as it fell on the carpet with a thud.
"No, we're good at this. You know what else we're good at?" he replied, letting two of his fingers slip in the front of my dress to pull it down. "Fuck, you're not wearing a bra."
"I knew you'd like it." I mentioned with a smile, unbuttoning his shirt and pushing it off his shoulders before working on his pants. "How bad do you want to use me?"
His eyes found mine and I could swear I saw something in his facial expression, something brutal, rough, something that came from instinct, something visceral, as if he wanted to grab me by the throat and use me until I'd beg him to stop.
I reached for the zipper of my dress and squirmed out of it before taking a step back and moving my panties down. He just stared at me, shirtless with his pants unzipped, and all I could think about was him on top of me, making me cum over and over again. He looked at me like he was literally going to jump on me and I tilted my head, nibbling on my bottom lip but staying out of reach.
"They're in the front pocket of my bag." I just mentioned.
It took him a few seconds but he finally found them as I sat on the bed, my heart accelerating as he walking closer. It was the very first time I would allow someone to do something like that to me and even if it was making me nervous, it was also extremely exciting.
"Are you sure you're ready to let me do that?"
I swallowed hard and nodded. "Mmhm, I trust you."
I did. I trusted him with my body. I trusted that he would make me cum good, that he wouldn't do anything that I didn't want to, even if I was tied up, and I trusted that he wouldn't just leave me there or anything like that.
He made me lay down on my back and used the handcuffs to tie me to the bed before letting his eyes roam on my body for a few seconds. The position was not uncomfortable but I knew it was going to be hard not to move at all.
"If at any moment you want me to untie you, or if you hurt, you tell me, okay?" I nodded and his eyes moved on my legs. "Fuck I wish I could tie your legs too. If you move them too much I'm gonna spank you so fucking hard you won't be able to sit for a week."
His words made my heart jump in my chest and he moved closer to the bed, his hand slipping between my legs and reaching my pussy.
"Just tie one of my legs with a pair of sweatpants."
His eyes found mine as his eyebrows raised. "Are you serious?"
He looked surprised but I just nodded and quickly, he did what I proposed. The knot was not really tight and if I moved enough, I could probably untie it, but when he brought his hand back between my legs, I felt totally submitted to him. He pushed his pants down with his free hand and my lips parted when I saw his hard cock spring out of his pants. I had no idea why I was so turned on by him but I suddenly started thinking about all these years I thought about him on top of me, late at night, back when he didn't even see me as a potential lover.
"You're so fucking wet. And impatient." he pointed out, running his fingers up my stomach and leaving a wet trace on my skin before going back between my legs. His pushed his fingers inside me and I let out a whimper, feeling my eyes flutter. "Fuck, I don't know how I'm gonna last. Just the sight of you all tied up is making me so fucking hard."
I watched him bring his hand to his cock, rubbing it with my wetness until it was coated and despite myself, I let out a short whimper. He moved closer to me, rubbing the tip of his cock on my lips and quickly, I wrapped my lips around his tip. He grabbed the back of my head to hold it and pushed his cock in my mouth, making me choke before pulling back.
"That sound is fucking amazing." he pointed out before doing it again.
I choked one more time but the more he did it, the more used I was getting and when he finally pulled away completely, I swallowed hard and panted. My heart was beating hard but I was not sure if it was because of lust or because it stressed me a bit to be in this situation.
"Stick your tongue out." he ordered before tapping his cock a few times on it. "Look at me."
My gaze quickly found his and he groaned, rubbing his cock on my tongue for about a minute before moving away. My eyes followed him as he took his pants off completely along with his socks and got on the bed, between my legs. He let both his hands run on my legs and my thighs before reaching my pussy he bent down just to suck on my clit for a while, making my eyes roll back in my head as I moaned. Slowly, he crawled on top of me and fingered me slowly as his thumb rubbed on my clit.
"You're mine, yea?" he asked, looking straight in my eyes as my lips parted. "Say it."
My eyes fluttered as I felt an orgasm build in my stomach and he probably felt me clench around his fingers because he quickly took his hand away and I let out a moan in protest.
"You're mine."
"Mm, I'm yours."
I thought about that time he fingered me in my room for the first time in months, and I remembered he had asked me the same thing. I never thought Niall was an insecure person and I knew it was probably just because the fact that I belonged to him turned him on, but it was also right after he found out about Louis and I.
I thought he'd push his fingers back inside me but instead, he moved up, placing his knees on each sides of my chest before brushing his cock on my mouth. It throbbed on my lips and the thought was so hot that I almost came. He started jerking off, his tip hitting my lips before I finally opened them and sucked on it again. He groaned, pulling his cock up and I whimpered as I ran my tongue on his balls, taking one in my mouth and sucking on it. This time, he let out a moan and started grinding against me.
"Fuck, your mouth always drives me so fucking crazy."
He moved back, rubbing his cock on one of my tits before taking place between my legs again and rubbing the tip of his cock on my clit. I squirmed, unable to move, and pulled on my arms. The handcuffs made a light noise against the bars of the bed and he looked up.
"Gentle. You don't want to hurt your wrists do you?" he asked, raising his eyebrows as a smirk draw itself on his lips. "I know you want to cum but a little edging has never killed anyone, yeah?"
I hated edging. I knew the whole point but Niall was a tease and being so close to cum over and over again was torture for me. Clearly, it turned him on though and I bit my bottom lip very hard.
"You look so desperate." he added. "Look at you, fuck."
"Please, please fuck me."
His eyes moved up to look into mine and he seemed surprised by my plea. "I love when you beg me."
Instead to do as I implored, he slid a finger on my slit and pushed it in my ass, making me squirm again. "I haven't done that since the last time I did it with you."
I held my breath, my heart suddenly racing, and he added two fingers in my pussy to fuck me slowly. I could feel his hard cock press against one of my thighs and I just wanted him deep inside me.
"You let anyone else fuck your ass this year?" he wondered as I quickly shook my head. "Good girl. I promise I'll make you cum harder than anyone ever has."
I tried to relax and my eyes fluttered when I felt the tip of his cock push against my ass. I breathed in and let out a few curse words when it was finally in, opening my eyes to look at him again. He spit in his hand and brought it to his cock. I felt him jerk off a bit before pushing the rest of his dick inside me and bringing his hand up, rubbing his thumb quickly on my clit at the same time.
"The way you throb around me... fuck, I don't know how long I'm gonna last."
He focused on what he was doing, pushing himself in and out of me slowly as I wiggled and whimpered. He was bringing me so close to an orgasm and when he felt I was about to cum, he moved his hand away from my pussy and pushed himself deeper in my ass.
"Niall please, please make me cum."
I didn't expect him to start fucking me harder but he did and even if he wasn't touching me anymore, I knew I was about to cum.
"Jesus fucking christ,"
I felt him shake as he got an orgasm but he pulled out of me and continued to cum on my pussy, bringing his thumb on my clit and rubbing it quickly with his sperm and making me reach immediately my own peak. I shook and cursed, feeling him rub his tip on my thigh, spreading more of his orgasm on me.
It took me a few seconds before I finally opened my eyes and I smiled when he lied down on top of me to kiss me. His lips moved slowly against mine but it's only when I pulled on my arms again that he chuckled against my mouth.
"Alright, alright. I'm untying you."
He started by my ankle and finally undid the handcuffs, bringing one of my wrists to his lips and kissing it gently. He moved back over me to kiss me again and I wrapped my arms around his neck, trapping him with my thighs on each sides of his waist.
"You're such a tease." I chuckled in his mouth.
"Hey that was the whole point." he argued with a small laugh. "Was good?"
"Mmhm, definitely."
After a few minutes, he sighed and moved away. "I really need to pee, I'm sorry."
I laughed and waited until he came back to go to the bathroom too and clean myself. When I joined him back in bed, the lights were off and he was under the sheets. I quickly cuddled his side and he wrapped his arm around me. We remained in silence and once again, a wave of love flooded inside me. It was always that way, late at night, when I was in his arms, and I was scared it would drive me insane to not be able to cuddle him at night when he'll be away.
"Thank you for trusting me." he whispered. "I really hope someday you can trust me again with your heart, and not just with your body."
I licked my lips, not really sure of what to answer. I knew the post-orgasm feeling was making me a bit euphoric but I wanted to tell him that I would. I wanted to tell him he just needed to be patient again... just for a very short time period. I wanted to tell him that I knew I would eventually give myself to him completely again, that he would definitely have the chance to break me again, to hurt me in a way no one else could hurt me. Instead, I swallowed my words and closed my eyes.
"I'm gonna fucking miss you, Niall." I whispered, knowing my voice would crack if I talked louder. I closed my eyes and swallowed the lump in my throat, feeling something stir in my stomach. He kissed the top of my head and I didn't know if I was going to be able to stop myself from crying. His voice reached my ear in a soft murmur and I hugged him tighter.
"Not as much as I'll miss you."
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control [jeremy h. x squipped!reader] pt.7
wow it took 30 years didnt it. i did it, fuckers. please give me attention-
anyway, heres the final part :) do i know how to proofread? no. thats it thats all i was gonna say, i just dont know how to proofread.
warnings: uhhh none i dont think
-
In the middle of August, the Ninja Sex Party dropped their newest album “Cool Patrol” and the two of you were in love. You were in Jeremy’s room, lying on his bed beside him sharing headphones as the album played, and it all felt so teenage rom-com that Jeremy was half-distracted the entire time by you and lost different lyrics because of that. “Orgy for One” played and you nudged Jeremy before mouthing “you” to him with a playful look in your eyes and a smile that set his heart racing. He laughed, and nudged you back just as playful before the beginning to “Danny Don’t You Know” brought the two of you back into reality. He was emotional, and so were you, and there was something about sharing an emotion with someone that was intimate enough to make his heart skip a beat.
Your phone buzzed after a while, and you sat up, pulling an earbud out. “Fuck, Jeremy-” You stood up quickly, scrambling to get your things together, “-my cousins were coming over to do that picture thing since we didn’t get a chance before - I gotta go, alright? I’ll text you in a bit.”
He wouldn’t remember what he said to you, or the dumb joke you made as you were leaving his room. He would remember how the minute you left, he added “Heart Boner” onto your playlist with a devious little smile as if he were getting away with something. Just a little joke between friends. After all - you had that little moment together, how could he not not?
-
An hour after you left, Michael showed up with a plastic bag filled with Chinese takeout for three - eyes widening when he saw your absence. His smile fell as he looked towards the bag in his hand, frowning slightly as he began to delve into his thoughts. For what felt like minutes, the two boys just sat there in silence as Michael finally untied the bag to pass his friend his portion of their meal, frustration evident in the way he furrowed his brow and refused to look him in the eye.
“They had a family thing,” Jeremy said. “Didn’t [y/n] text you?”
“No,” Michael said, “they did not. I said I was coming with food and-”
“It’s tradition,” Jeremy countered. “Y’know? It’s that little... sign-picture-thing. Some sort of family tradition their parents started when they were little.”
Michael rolled his eyes at the sappy expression crossing his best friend’s face as he placed what had been your meal on the dresser, before collapsing back onto his bed - tilting his head back to maintain eye contact. “That’s cute and all, but what do I do with their orange chicken?”
He shrugged, turning back to his computer to close out Spotify. “I dunno - we can go by their house later and see if they want it.”
He heard his comforter shift and assumed that Michael rolled over onto his stomach. “But I have egg rolls for them,” he whined, voice muffled slightly by what Jeremy could only guess was Michael laying his face in his hands.
A quick booting down of his computer. He shrugged again, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Just don’t eat them?”
The moment of silence could have killed a man. “Jeremiah.”
He spun to face him. “Michael.”
They maintained eye contact for a moment, before Michael shifted so that he was now sitting up - pulling the plastic bag closer to him. “So did you two fuck yet?”
A thousand broken words slipped past his lips as Jeremy struggled to say something - a question, a swear, something that didn’t make him look stupid. “Why would you ask that!?” he tried to ignore the way his voice raised an octave.
Meanwhile, Michael seemed to have no problem with disregarding his panic. “So you haven’t.”
“Uh. No? We’re just friends?”
“You sure?” Michael asked, not even giving him the chance to answer as he looked away. “I don’t know, dude, you’ve been pining for a fuckin’ while now. Why don’t you just ask them out?”
“I don’t like-” he paused, before shaking his head. If Michael knew, then he knew - there really wasn’t any point in denying it any further. “I don’t know, I like Christine still-”
“You can like more than one person at a time, Jeremiah.”
“I know, but...” “I don’t even know if they like me still.”
“Dude. Bro. Homie. Broseidon. Buddy. They wanna fuck.”
“Michael!”
“They’re at least interested in you,” he said with a mere shrug of indifference, “do you just not see how they look at you?”
“I don’t-” Jeremy started, and then he stopped, the words he wanted to say sticky and catching in his throat like honey. “I don’t think-” He paused, shutting his eyes, “Michael, I don’t know why they’d still be into me. Like... they did the whole...” He tapped at his temple, “thing because of me.” He hesitated. That wasn’t entirely true, was it? “Or... they did it slightly because of me. I just - I don’t think they’d, uh, y’know... want anything to do with me like that.”
There was understanding in Michael’s eyes, lit up before he looked away to the carton in his hand. He dug through it with chopsticks, letting out a sigh, “Dude, I get that, but... they like you, dumbass.”
Jeremy laughed it off. “Yeah, sure.”
“I mean it!” Michael countered, before dropping the topic, “I’m gonna eat your food if you don’t.”
“What-” Jeremy popped open his order, “fine, okay - but this conversation isn’t over, Michael.”
“Mhm. You’ll accept it later.”
“That’s not what I meant!”
“You really suck at hiding your feelings, y’know?”
“Michael!”
-
Two weeks later, and Jeremy wasn’t sure how to feel.
There were strings of these little... moments between the two of you. He realized how much time he was spending over at your house after Michael teased him over it, how often the two of you studied together and how flustered he’d get when you were close to him, how many times he found himself grabbing your favorite candy from gas stations just to make you smile. One Sunday night, he was sitting at the end of your bed with a pillow hugged to his chest, spending another night at your house while Michael was off spending time with his family (not that Jeremy wouldn’t have been there otherwise - he stayed over every now and then just because he wanted to. Movie nights were good. Dinner was good. Being around you was good). You sat at your desk, legs crossed awkwardly in your chair in a position that looked uncomfortable to him but you showed no signs of discomfort as you continued to draw. The two of you had been talking, and Jeremy had just sat there fascinated with watching you draw after years of not recognizing your progress.
A question hit the air, heavy and loaded. “Would you have taken it?” You didn’t move to face him, the soft sound of your tablet pen tapping back against the surface as you scroll out and fumble giving away any nerves. “The... the SQUIP,” you went to clarify.
But he understood, and he spoke quick: “no.” He shifted slightly, holding the pillow closer to himself, “not after what it did to you.”
“But if you hadn’t known,” you said, pausing for a moment to gather your thoughts, “if... if it had been you, would you have done it?”
“I mean... I don’t think-”
“You can say yes, Jeremy,” you finally looked back at him. “I’m not gonna be mad or anything.”
His shoulders slumped slightly, a bit relieved of the thought. “Okay, then... yeah. I mean, yeah - who wouldn’t?”
You turned back to your work. “Yeah. Yeah, right? It sounds good. Like... you have a pill that’ll solve everything and tell you the right moves to make... who wouldn’t want that?”
That’s when Jeremy realized you’d been doubting yourself. Blaming yourself for saying yes. “I think a lot of people would have taken it.”
“Yeah... I think so, too.” You stopped drawing after a moment, turning around fully to face him, “can I confess something?”
He nodded slowly. “Oh. Uh. Yeah, sure?”
“I don’t keep the Mountain Dew Red because I’m scared it’ll come back and destroy everything and leave me fucked,” you said in a rush of words, shutting your eyes for a moment. “Sorry. I just needed to get it off my chest but... I think it’s better this way.”
“Hey, no,” Jeremy reached out, fingers brushing over your shoulder. “Michael and I would find more.”
You fumbled with your pen, it falling to the floor as you swore softly under your breath. Jeremy reached for it just as you did, foreheads clashing in cliche fashion as you immediately push back. A moment later, he offered your tablet pen back to you.
He spoke after you took it. “Hey, uh, c’mere for a minute.”
So you dropped your pen onto your desk and pulled your chair over to the bed. Uncharacteristically calm and soft, he took one of your hands in a motion less Jeremy and more... you... you weren’t sure. It wasn’t entirely Jeremy, that much was confirmed.
“There was this stuff that mom used to way when I was a kid,” he said quietly, dragging his thumb over your knuckles. “It was this whole...thing about how the ‘loudest voice has to be yours’ when you’re doubting yourself and shit - I don’t know, it just kinda stuck with me and... I’m glad I’ve gotten to know you, because you’re... different? Like - you keep going, and, uh, you’re a big nerd who laughs at my stupid jokes and... I’m glad you’re you, I guess?”
You cracked a small smile as you pulled back from him. Before he can question whether he crossed a line, you answer, “I’m saving this. I can’t focus on art with your sappy ass saying shit like that.” You stood, tucking your chair under your desk as you sat on your bed. “Fuckin’ sweet dork,” you mumbled as you pulled Jeremy into a hug.
He stiffened up for a moment, only to wrap his arms around you after a moment. He smiled into your shoulder, saying a muffled “Shut up” into it as you giggled.
You pulled away with a smile. “Why don’t you make me, Jeremy?”
One of his biggest regrets was not asking to kiss you right then and there.
-
Days later, you were in his room for once, sitting on his bed beside him. You were tired, far more than he was, looking at math problems that were blurry to you as you stifled back another yawn. Jeremy had stretched out, awkwardly leaning against his headboard as he tried to stay away until you finally resigned for the night - shutting your notebook and tossing it towards your backpack with a noisy clamor. You leaned against him, mumbling words long forgotten into his shoulder - likely about hating numbers - only to whine when he sat forward a moment later. Soon enough, he returned to be your pillow once more, laughing softly as you curled into his side contently and making some joke about how you only wanted him around for this reason.
“Nope,” you had hummed, “too bony. Bad pillow.”
He snorted a little, reaching up to tuck back a strand of hair out of place. “You seem happy.”
“I am,” you hummed. “Since it’s you.”
He reached up, gently tugging you closer to him in order to worm an arm around you. “You’re tired.”
“Mhm.”
“Sorry I kept you up.”
“That’s okay,” you mumbled into his shoulder, shifting slightly to be closer to him. “Math is stupid.”
“It’s not stupid,” he countered, “you just aren’t good at it.”
“Thus making it stupid, Jeremiah.”
Eventually, you went quiet. At first, Jeremy thought you’d fallen asleep, but you sat forward slightly, looking up at him and it was almost like there had been magnetism between you. You had leaned forward, and he gently reached up to guide your face to his, and the two of you kissed for a soft, quiet moment. Soon enough, you had drawn away and cuddled back up to him. He wasn’t sure if he fell asleep first, but he remembered how warm you felt against him and he remembered feeling nothing but warmth in his chest as he eventually dozed off.
There were a few things that hit Jeremy when he woke up. The pain in his back from falling asleep half-sitting against the headboard of his bed, the weight on him that confused him for a moment for a millisecond before he felt your hot breath tickling his skin, face buried in his neck. Then the memory of the night before - of a clumsy kiss he’d been craving for so long, and the way you kissed back and maybe that was his imagination? He wasn’t sure, but the thought was enough to nearly make him jolt - but you were enough to keep him as still as he could be. He looked at how peaceful you looked, and he felt his heart swell at just how warm you were against him and the memory of your lips haunted him as he felt his skin grow hotter. If remembering kissing you was enough to make him completely flustered, anything more would probably kill him.
Eventually, you woke up, groggy and sleep-ridden still at first as you sat forward and rubbed at your face. “Jeremy, I hate to break it to you-” You paused, yawning, “-but you aren’t a great pillow.”
He chuckled at that, sitting forward. “Hey, uh... sorry to, uh, ask, but, uh, do... do you remember anything about last night...?”
You stared at him, uncertain at first before you thought back on what had happened. You threw your notebook at your bag. And then... It came back to you, striking you hard and fast. “Oh.”
“I- I’m sorry,” he stammered, “I just - I was tired and I wasn’t thinking and I shouldn’t have...”
And he slowly trailed off when he saw the way you were looking at him, voice caught in his throat as your gaze flickered from his eyes to his lips and then back. He heard you whisper something - “fuck it,” he was pretty sure - before you started going in for another kiss - and he leaned forward to meet you halfway, a hand sliding into your hair as you grow closer to him. The night before had been gentle, sleep-ridden and warm - and now the two of you are awake and clumsy and so wonderfully alive during this messy kiss. His teeth had clashed against yours, your forehead bumped against his, but you correct. A little less force, a little more gentleness, a changing of an angle - the tiny ways to make things better and less awkward.
In a bold move you definitely didn’t expect, Jeremy’s hand falls to your hips, pulling you closer to him by your belt loops (a cruel reminder that you were asleep in jeans). His kisses grew slightly more frantic, more hungry, more needy - the tiniest little whimper slipping past his lips once you finally pull yourself back, breathing softly as you stared at him. His hand slipped back to your jaw, thumb grazing your jawline slowly and gentle.
“Jeremy?” you whispered, staring at him, “wait, you-”
“I... I know we were gonna try to be friends, but... I think I like you.”
You stared at him, flustered as he tore his gaze away from yours - a pretty rosy hue decorating his skin, blotchy and creeping up his neck to the tips of his ears.
“I, uh, I mean, I didn’t... I never planned on, uh... I just - I don’t - I, uh, I think you’re... a big nerd. You... you laugh with me and you, uh, you care about things - and you... you remember things about me - and, uh, other people do but... you’re just... you’re different.” He trailed a thumb across your skin. “You... feel like home. Even, uh, even if this... doesn’t really go anywhere, I - I’m glad that I know you and- I understand if you don’t, uh, don’t actually want this to go anywhere but-”
And you laughed. At first his stomach dropped, anxiety taking over as he grew nervous over the thought of you rejecting him - but something about the way you laughed made his heart flutter, one hand steadying yourself on his shoulder while the other hid your face.
“I... I don’t really know how to explain it better, but... can I, uh, can I kiss you again?”
And you laughed again, reaching up to brush back hair from his face. “Yes, Jeremy. You can kiss me again.”
#mj's writing corner#be more chill x reader#be more chill reader insert#jeremy heere x reader#jeremy heere imagine#bmc imagine#bmc reader insert
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Eres Mia (M)
Messy Chapter 8
Pairing(s): OC X Johnny
Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU, Angst, Smut, a smidge of fluff/awkwardness
Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.
Warnings: mentions of drugs/alcohol, talks about suicide, the teeeeniest bit of violence, possibility of emotional manipulation, jealousy/possessiveness
Features: unprotected sex, creampies, rough fingering/finger sucking, oral/throat fucking, a little hint of bondage, rough hair grabbing, squirting, overstretching/gaping, daddy/princess dynamics, choking, relentless/brutal/deep thrusting, a bit of overstimulation/multiple orgasms, also being covered in cum
Word Count: 21,103K
A/N: So explanation about this chapter: It has some cultural references that maybe not everyone will get but I can explain them if anyone wants to send me a question about it. If you haven’t figured it out (or even just made a generalization) Eri is afro-carribean (the exact island is left vague on purpose, but it would be in the latinx part of the cluster). There’s also spanish in the chapter and tbh use google translate and if you still have problems again just message me.
Messy Masterlist Buy me a Ko-Fi Other Stories
The Boys Group Chat
Taeyong: 5
Lucas: what???
Ten: 5 what?
Taeyong: my score with Eri is at 5.
Lucas: HOLY FUCK
Taeil: OHHH HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED.
Ten: how?? When??? What???!
Taeyong: last night. Shower. Against the wall. In the bed twice. And our usual against the door.
Lucas: how tf did u manage that??
Lucas: i thought you hated her
Taeyong: i never hated her. It was just the drama and shit
Taeyong: like at the party i just didn’t want a fight to break out. i didn’t want the cops called or anything
Taeyong: so like i kicked her out but it was just because i knew she would have thrown the first punch
Lucas: well you aren’t really wrong
Lucas: i don’t blame you for not wanting the cops to show up
Taeyong: i had under 21 friends there. I didn’t want them to get in trouble
Ten: how did you even manage to get her to fuck you???
Taeyong: she called me actually. She was drunk af but sobered up before she got here
Ten: i cannot believe
Ten: i haven’t even been able to get with her AT ALL lately
Johnny: wtf is going on
Taeil: oooooooffff this is….
Ten: the tea brews itself
Johnny: Taeyong what did you say
Taeyong: i fucked your girl. She came to me instead of coming to you
Yuta: dude this is…
Johnny: don’t go near her again
Johnny: i mean it
Taeyong: dude i’m not scared of you
Taeyong: yall arent even official
Johnny: i don’t care
Johnny: dont touch her
Yuta: johnny quit it
Yuta: you can’t hog her to yourself
Yuta: just like jae can’t hog quinn
Ten: just admit ur jealous and move on.
Johnny: im not jealous
Johnny: you just dont deserve her after the stunt you pulled at the party
Taeyong: clearly i do because shes been thinking about fucking me for a long time
Taeyong: maybe even while shes been fucking you.
(Johnny has left the chat)
Ten: fuck
Yuta: this is getting fucking ridiculous
Yuta: i mean she texted me like when she was with him i think
Yuta: like she didnt care that she was with him and was being cute with me
Lucas: she flirts with everyone
Lucas: do you think she does actually wanna be with him?
Taeyong: who cares
Taeyong: fact of the matter is shes up for grabs
Taeyong: and if I wanna go after her i will
Yuta: WHOA WHOA
Yuta: you mean try and date her?
Ten: taeyong thats not a good idea
Taeyong: i never said id date her
Taeyong: but if shit happens, shit happens
Taeyong: thats all im saying
–
It was strange waking up in bed next to Taeyong. We had never done that before especially since the last time we were together we had to leave the office quickly. He looked strangely innocent when he slept, his shaggy hair ruffled and sticking up in random places and lips slightly pouted. I watched his chest rise and fall with each soft breath for a moment while I tried to keep my head from spinning. This…might have been a bad idea. I was in my feelings for Johnny and I knew that I only hooked up with Taeyong as a sort of rebound/revenge plot. I didn’t want to tell him that but I was sure we were still platonic enough that it didn’t matter. Taeyong wouldn’t make things weird or messy. This would just be a one time thing…or a five time thing. We may have gotten a bit carried away. He was tentative in the shower, making sure that I was still sober enough to be okay. He washed me, helped me wash my hair, and let the heated water run over me to warm me up. And when he slid down to wash my legs his lips met between my thighs and I couldn’t help but give in to his tongue.
He was no Taeil but he knew enough to make me try and steady myself against the slippery tile and grip onto his hair tightly. It was relaxing to finally get off by being eaten out, to just sit back and let him do all the work. It was definitely something I missed. After the shower, we dried off and he put me into some of his pjs (which were tight as all hell on me) and we relaxed in his bed. I got some more water in me and slowly weaned off the rest of the alcohol. Somewhere in the middle of trying to sleep we got lost in each other’s lips which somehow lead to him keeping me against his bedroom wall and fucking me as deep as he could go. Mid morning came and we didn’t want to get up. So of course the next option was to 69 then fuck me into the mattress. Just when I thought I would finally be able to leave he wouldn’t stop kissing me as I got to his bedroom door and we had a proper deja vu moment of last semester.
By the time I actually got home it was late at night and I was sore as all hell. I left him covered in hickies, scratches, and bite marks- my typical calling card- and he left me wanting to sleep for days. I collapsed on my bed unmoving for hours on end and barely making it to class the next day. Johnny was there of course and I tried my best to avoid him like the plague. That was always the hardest part. When we were on our highs, being next to each other radiated chemistry and we would rather pass the time sexting than paying attention. When we were on our lows, everything was ice cold and I detested even being within his vicinity. He still wouldn’t open up to me or even let me tell him that it was okay to cry. He didn’t need to worry about that with me. Of course he wouldn’t listen and we were stuck in a frozen tundra that didn’t let us move one way or the other. I tried my best to instead focus on studying for once. My grades were alright but they could definitely be better and I didn’t want to have to waste more money repeating classes. I spent my nights hitting the books and hoping I could retain enough information to pass. I was holed up in my room as usual when I heard knocking on the front door and i wondered if maybe Quinn forgot their keys. It seemed a little early for them to come home from being with Jae. I set my textbook down onto my desk and padded towards the living room. When I opened the door I hated what I saw.
His eyes were bright red and he reeked of menthol and weed. He leaned against the door frame, a big grin on his face that happiness didn’t seem to be the cause of. “What are you doing here?” I whispered in disbelief.
“What am i doing here?” He licked his lips and chuckled. “What are you doing fucking Taeyong?”
My eyes went wide. “Did he…did he tell you?”
“He told everyone in our chat. 5 times, huh? That a record or something?”
I backed away from him hating how he was acting and being hurt that what I did was blasted over some group chat. I couldn’t believe Taeyong would do something like that. I had stated plenty of times who i had hooked up with but it was on my terms, with my permission, not like gossiping around a watering hole. “You need to leave.” I swallowed hard and didn’t look at him. My voice was too unsteady for that.
I heard the door snap shut and looked up to find him looming over me. “Not a chance. Not until I make you forget all about that stupid bastard.”
He grabbed onto my sweater and pulled me towards him, easily overpowering me to crash his lips against mine. I clawed at his coat, digging into the soft fabric as I tried forcing myself away. I slammed the side of my fist into his chest and pushed him back. “NO! You don’t get to do this! You don’t get to come back into my life whenever you decide to! I’m not something to have at your convenience and I sure as hell don’t need you to keep leading me on.”
“Leading you on? Where am I leading you too?” His hands still had a hold of my neck and shoulders which I could not shake.
I could feel the tears already trying to come forth but i grounded myself, dug deep within me to stop them. “Leading me to you. I always get led back to you.”
“You don’t want to get led back to me.” He laughed. “I’m fuckin’ useless!”
I grabbed at his hands, wanting them off me. “Stop that! I’m not your fucking therapy and my purpose is not to fix you.”
“I don’t want to be fixed! I want to be fucked!”
“And that’s another layer to your goddamn problem, Johnny! Life isn’t all about diving into sex to make yourself forget! You need to reevaluate what’s going on in your life before you put your hands on someone else’s.”
“I don’t want you to have Taeyong on you.” He kissed me, gentler this time. “Or Lucas.” Another kiss. “Or Taeil.” A small lick. “Or Yuta.” He sucked on my bottom lip for a second before kissing me again. “Or anyone else.”
“You cant have me all to yourself. That isn’t how this works. You don’t want me, you only want what you see on the surface. You don’t give a shit about what’s beneath and you definitely don’t want to see it.”
He released me from his grasp and scoffed. “The surface? I’ve let you dig inside my brain more than anyone else in my life. You’re stuck inside there now, you can’t move. You know how sick i’ve felt, how weak i am, how less of a man i am-”
“Save that bullshit, Johnny! It’s not true! I told you it was okay to cry! It doesn’t mean you’re less of a man! It just means you’re a normal human being. Men can cry. Men can show emotion and they should. I just wanted to help…to be there for you.”
“You’re wrong. I’ve always had to be the man. There wasn’t any room for me to cry!” He screamed. “You want to talk about not wanting what’s beneath the surface? You’re already there, Eri. You’ve seen everything I could possibly hate to show anyone.”
“And yet you’re coming to me just so you can be buried inside something for an hour or two. That’s what it’s actually like to feel useless and discarded. I know you don’t fucking care and you never will.”
“This is starting to get messy…it’s a clusterfuck and it keeps growing.”
“You just keep fueling the fire.” I said. “I’m not going back. I can’t. My heart can’t take it. I hate seeing you like this. I hate hearing you like this and I want to help. I really do. But i can only take so much before you start swallowing me whole.”
He grabbed me again, pressing me against the door and trapping me between it and his body. “This is how you help.” His breath was heavy against my neck, tickling the sensitive skin there. I shuddered and failed to squirm away from him. “I know you’re not going to fix me. I can do that on my own, eventually, but right here, right now this is what I want.”
“Well i don’t.” The tears fell and i slammed my fist back against the door, pissed entirely that it was happening again. I shouldn’t be crying over him anymore. “I don’t want to be what you push inside of. You don’t want to know what’s really going on with me. You’d run away from me as much as I want to run from you.”
“You think i’d be scared of what you’ve done? What you’ve been through? Its nothing, Eri.” He grabbed my chin and and jerked my head to the side so he could growl in my ear. “I want you. Raw. Dirty.”
“You want me black out drunk? You want me with a broken hand through drywall? You want me bleeding out in a tub with a knife in my hand? You want me laying on the floor unable to breathe and falling in and out of consciousness? You want me running away from the one good thing i’ve ever had in my life?” My voice trembled again. “You want me hiding who i really am from my family? You want me watching myself be the cause of people’s hurt? Because that’s what’s really raw and dirty. Or do you just want to fuck as always?”
He hoisted me onto his waist suddenly, crushing me now to the point where i could barely breathe. I wrapped my legs around his as he shoved his forehead against mine. “Give me it. Give me all of it, Eri.”
I tried not to kiss him, i really did, but my heart shoved me towards it. My tongue slid out to creep into his mouth which he warmly accepted. It was angry, heated, rushed, and broken- like the entirety of our relationship. I was clutching onto him desperately as if I was trying to shock my system back into loathing him. It didn’t matter if I made drunken mistakes or if he made drugged out ones, every time, we somehow found a way back to each other as if we were tied with a string of fate. “Why?” I whispered when I finally caught my breath. “Why don’t you talk to me? For weeks at a time…it hurts…”
“Because i hate the way I feel about you.” He panted.
I licked my lips and hovered them over his. “How do you feel about me?”
He shook his head. “I…don’t worry about it. I’m faded as fuck right now. It won’t matter what I say.”
“Clearly it fucking does.”
“It’s only gonna get more fucked up between us.”
“It already is fucked up! Were fucked up! This whole shit is fucked up! We were supposed to hook up at the summer party and that’s it!!”
“Yeah and here you are fucking Taeyong and Yuta and whoever else you’d let inside you.”
I slapped him. The first time i’d ever wanted to hit him at all. I would’ve never laid a hand on him especially after all he had been through- i never wanted to be that person. Ever. But he crossed a fucking line and that small dangerous part of my brain was a ticking time bomb. He dropped me then and I fell right on my ass. I scrambled to get up as he stood there motionless.
“Dont…dont ever do that.” He whispered harshly.
“I didn’t want to! But don’t you ever come for who I sleep with! You don’t get to do that! You don’t get to be a hypocrite because you’re fucking jealous! What are you even jealous for? I’m not your girlfriend!”
“AND YOU NEVER WILL BE!”
I felt a stab of pain through my chest that hurt worse than anything I had ever felt before. Was this…was this what Jungwoo felt? Had karma finally come to get me and pay me back for what I did to him all those years ago? It felt like I couldn’t breathe but I could definitely feel the tears flowing down my cheeks like a river. His eyes went wide and he took a step towards me. I took one back before sprinting to my room. I slammed the door shut, pressing myself against it and sliding to the floor.
He pounded his fists against it, begging me to open it. I was afraid he was going to break through the wood with how hard he was rattling the door. I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face in my thighs, staining my pajamas pants with tears.
“I-im sorry, ok?”
No you’re not.
“I didn’t mean for it to be like this.”
Well it is now, so fuck you.
“I don’t know what I really want, Eri.”
I guess…i don’t really know either. Should you even be my boyfriend at this point? What would I do once I had you? Would my fear of love go away? Or would you make it worse?
“I like when we spend time together. You’re cool as fuck but we…we cant be like that. You know that right? I don’t get with people and stay with them. We can only fuck…”
I hate you. Go away. Leave me alone.
“I guess i’m broken or whatever you want to call it but i’m not a charity case. I don’t want you to pity me or feel like you have to take care of me. Like you said, it’s not your job. But for right now…this is how I handle stuff, just like how you handle stuff your way, you know?”
By being a drunk partied out mess, i know. Hungry for attention, starving for someone to care for them, and completely barren of love but wanting to fill that void somehow.
“I’m not fine. I haven’t been fine for a long time. My anxiety never used to be this bad. I never even used to have night terrors or panic attacks. It just got worse after…after the first time i got…you know, what I told you about before. Then college happened and it was so much pressure and I wanted to make my mom proud and happy and take care of her because my dad never did. You know even when i felt so fucking empty around Rixi, i didn’t sleep for 2 whole days because I was studying my ass off for midterms just to keep my straight A’s?” He let out a soft chuckle. “I have a 4.0, hookup with dozens of girls, work three jobs, go to the gym, and try and do my art. When i say that i run on energy drinks and coffee i’m not kidding.”
That’s adding to your anxiety, stupid. And so is the weed. And your inability to FUCKING communicate. Why do you have to be such a stupid dumb….MAN all the time?!
“I know that doesn’t matter to you-”
It does because I know you’re hardworking and care about what you do. You’re a passionate soul and i love that about you. You’re so dedicated.
“But i dont know…i guess I wanted to tell you anyway. I’m not making excuses. I know what I do is my own damn fault but i just wanted you to know.”
I shifted slightly and reached up for the door handle, scooting away to pull it open slightly. I peeked my head through the gap and he looked at me, eyes a bit puffy as if he had been crying too. He wiped his nose and made it seem like he was put together in his typical Johnny fashion. I still didn’t say anything but he crept his hand closer to me and extended his pinky. I looked at it for a few seconds before locking mine around it. He was quiet for a bit, the tension remaining thick and heavy. The quietness was only interrupted by a few sniffles from the both of us. I wiped away at my tears, wanting to remind myself that this was proof. This was what always happened. Either i ended up drunk or ended up crying when it came to him. Or both for that matter.
I truly felt like i should continue to make myself suffer with him. One look of those soft brown eyes and honey-sweet lips would draw me in and his soothing voice would whisper caring thoughts and expressions. I saw the blushes he had when he talked to me, the way he seemed embarrassed or nervous, but there were always underlying signs that proved he didn’t like me. Most blatantly when he said-no, yelled- that i would never be his girlfriend. Logic told me to run. When had i ever put a man before me or anyone for that matter? Masochism told me that I enjoyed the pain of being rejected over and over again and that it was a game. Lust told me that i loved when he got jealous and growled in my ear. I wanted him to tell me that I was his as he fucked me so deep and hard that I couldn’t move. Greed told me that I wanted him all to myself. I wanted all the attention, all the love, all of him. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And rationality? That bitch was nowhere to be found.
“What saved you…when you tried to um…kill yourself?”
My head snapped up at the question. It hadn’t been posed to me since I met Quinn three years ago. It was something that I blocked from my brain and never reopened. But this was a test, to see if he could really handle what was fucking wrong with me. I squeezed his pinky tighter and finally croaked. “Daniella. She’s uh…she’s my little sister. I traumatized a 10 year old by bleeding out in a bathtub and she called the police and my mom. She tried to stop the bleeding. She cried but she kept pushing through. She was….so mature in that moment. More than I had ever been. She wanted to be there when they admitted me. My mom didn’t believe what was going on- more so in a sense that she didn’t want to believe that her kid was sick. Just like she didn’t want to believe I was gay at first. Eventually, she saw past it. She saw how much I needed her and how much we didn’t want to lose each other. But yeah…that was…it was Dani.”
“You know, her Quinceanera is in a week and I can’t believe she’s already 15. It’s weird how time flies…how I can’t exactly remember it all.” I continued.
“Are you going? To the party i mean.” He asked.
I nodded. “I have to. I’m like in the…so it’s basically almost like a bridal party. It’s real weird. But they pair us up and we walk down an aisle and Dani will come out with her big poofy dress and everyone will look at her and sing ’Las Mañanitas’ blah blah blah. It’s a precursor wedding and weird tradition I hated. So i never had one. And now, mom gets to put all her spite of her not having one and me not having one into an over the top expensive party for Dani, but you know…don’t help me with my student loans or anything.”
“Oh…sounds like a…journey.” I let out a small laugh and he crept closer towards the gap. I opened the door a little bit more. “It was my mom for me.”
“What?” I whispered.
“I was ready to jump off my school building after I got with her. I would see her everywhere on my social media and around town. I had to hide everything about how she made me feel and I felt like I just couldn’t deal with it anymore. I sat on the ledge for a long time, thinking about it and staring at the ground. Just as I decided I was going to jump, I got a text from my mom. It said ‘hi honey, hope you have a great day at school! I love you a lot.’” He rubbed at his eyes and looked away from me. “I still have it saved on my phone- transferred over each time I got a different one. I look at it sometimes when i feel like utter shit. Then I call her.” He sighed deeply and I pulled him closer to me, the door falling open wider. “Have I ever told you thank you?”
“W-what?” I asked, stunned.
“Thank you. For being there for me. When shit hit the fan basically. You and Jae pretty much helped me through a lot. Is that like…a part of working through this? Admitting when you’ve been helped?”
I nodded. “It’s a start…”
He got even closer and kissed me, our pinkies tightening and lips slow and steady. My will was wavering and I was kicking myself again. It never failed. I pulled away and turned my head away from his. He sighed and kissed my cheek. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry doesn’t make up for a lot of things, Johnny.”
“I know, princess. I know.”
“No, you don’t get to say that word to me anymore. That part is done. It’s only for people who know how to communicate.”
“Ok…” he said simply.
I let go of his hand and moved away from the door. He came through fully, sitting beside me now and set his arm around my waist. He kissed my temple then rested his chin on my shoulder. We stood quiet for a moment, trying to process everything. Nothing had gotten better at all. Everything was more confusing and more painful. I didn’t feel good and I didn’t want him here but at the same time I did. I looked over at his sad eyes, knowing he was truly sorry but still cementing the fact that I would never be his. Hurting was all I was good for and I accepted the karmic punishment.
I grabbed onto his shoulders and his eyes drew themselves to me. I laid nothing but whispers against his lips drawing him in to press himself against me and steal my breath away in a kiss. Gradually, our clothes began disappearing until we were naked in my bed, hands between each others thighs, stroking and thrusting until we were dirty with each other’s release. He didn’t let me go instead opting to grab my hips and keep me flush against me. “I want me on you. Not any of those assholes.”
“I’m not yours…”
“Tonight you are.” He dug his blunt nails into my hips and sunk his teeth into the base of my neck. It hurt with how hard he was biting down but I knew what he was doing; marking me so that whoever i was with next could see the deep bruise he was trying to leave behind. I clawed at his shoulders, whimpering pathetically and about to beg him to stop but he pulled away, pressing softer kisses to the deep marks instead. I shoved his head away seeing the playful smirk he had on his face.
“Ass…”
“You want a bite mark on your ass too?” he asked coyly.
I rolled my eyes and commanded him to get a towel to clean up the mess he made on my stomach. He gave me another kiss before scooting off the bed and heading towards my door. For a moment I thought I imagined it and had to blink twice but i saw him licking his fingers- the same ones that were inside me just a minute ago. He had never done that. Usually he’d wipe them on my sheets or something. I laid back and closed my eyes, tossing away any ideas of what that meant. I felt him on the bed again, gently wiping away his cum off my skin before laying himself between my thighs, his head on my chest. That also surprised me and i wished I knew what the fuck was going on in his head. Was it from all the weed? I didn’t really know how much he smoked before he got here. It could’ve been what helped set off his emotions and express his jealousy about Taeyong.
I wanted to pry at his stupid decisions and actions some more but I was slowly running out of energy to deal with arguing, anxiety, and my mood swings in such a short amount of time. I decided to lay in my self hatred with Johnny on top of me, our breaths flowing together into an easier rhythm. I closed my eyes and set my hand on his head. “Pet my hair.” He grumbled.
“You think that a half fuck is going to solve this?” I said, ignoring his request.
“No. We’re doing what we do best, hurting each other.”
“But why does it have to be like this?”
“Because it’s just who we are, Eri. It’s what we do. It’s how we function together. You want to call it off?”
“Call what off?”
“Being fuck buddies.” Yes was what I should have said. Instead, I shook my head and kept my eyes away from him. “Good…Because I don’t want to stop fucking you.”
“I don’t either…” I said softly. I ran my fingers through his hair now, pushing it back and feeling his sides that were grown out. "Remember when you asked me to feel alive?”
He nodded.
“Do that for me. Maybe me feel like I don’t fucking hate you for what you’ve done. Like i don’t want you more than I need to.”
He stilled against me and didn’t say anything. I could feel him looking at me and when I finally had the courage to meet his eyes I saw that he seemed to be hurt by my confession. Eventually, he mumbled a response. “I don’t want you to hate me.”
"Mostly i hate myself.” I hate myself for loving you.
“Dont, baby…” He turned my face towards his to continue our kiss. “You don’t need to hate yourself.”
“Just shut up, Johnny. Fuck me already.”
“Fine.” He growled and gave quick bites over my breast making me arch against him. I hissed slowly, gripping onto his shoulders and digging my nails into his skin. He morphed his bites into kisses, working to gather my nipple in his mouth to suck slowly but hungrily. Eventually, his kisses got even lower as he discarded my breasts in favor of moving down to the softness of my stomach. A little nibble beneath my rib cage jerked my body towards his mouth, edging my hips into eager swivels. I parted my lips to let out a sweet sigh and a small plead for him to keep going. His tongue dipped into my belly button, making me squirm against the wet heat. I inched my hands back to his hair to return him to my lips and stop his teasing but he had other plans. His hands suddenly came crashing down on my wrists, pinning them to the bed and practically crushing them. I winced at the pain and asked him to ease up but he only snapped at me.
“Shut up and don’t touch me, got it?”
“W-what are you doing?” I asked, nervously.
“Shut. Up.”
I squeezed my eyes shut tight, swallowing hard and full of worry more than sensuality. I tried taking deep breaths but I felt like I was getting more nervous. Johnny was quiet as ever but I could feel his breath tickling against my sensitivity. I licked the dryness from my lips and just as I was about to try and pull away from his hands I felt it. It was small and gentle, just the tip of his tongue working over my clit. My entire body tensed and I remained frozen in place. I feared scaring him, or worse, triggering him. We retreated into minutes of silence that made my heart race with worry. “J-Johnny? A-are you-?”
There were butterfly kisses to my clit before his tongue reached out once again. It covered the entirety of my lower lips, pressing a slick heat over me and gathering the cum left behind from his fingering to trail it back to my clit. He trapped the bit of nerves between his lips, suckling lightly. I knew he was being cautious due to nervousness and unease but it was also amazingly tender and sweet. I dug my teeth into my bottom lip and let out a moan hoping that he would take it as praise and a sign to continue. There was another long pause and my fingers curled in anticipation for more but there was nothing. I opened my eyes and looked down at him.
He was stationary, his eyes glancing over my center and lips trembling. The grip on my wrists got tighter, too tight for even my own liking. “Johnny…you need to let me go.” I said softly.
“No. I-i cant…”
“You can stop now, it’s ok but you’re hurting me. Come up here. Come kiss me, baby.” He looked defeated but saw the pain in my face and finally let my wrists go. I didn’t immediately shake out the numbing feeling and instead waited for him to crawl back up my torso. I held onto him as tight as I could, covering his lips, cheeks, neck in excited pecks. He did it. With me. It wasn’t complete or full or satisfying by any means but it meant so much. “You did so good, baby boy. So, so good.” I cooed.
He hid in my neck and whispered, “I’m sorry.”
I shook my head quickly. “Don’t be. It was good. A great start, ok?”
“I wanted to try…a little at least so you don’t feel like i did when we fucked in the bathroom at the party. You shouldn’t want to feel alive with me because you’re numb. I don’t want that at all.”
“I just wanna feel good is all…” I held onto him tighter. “I don’t want to feel like i’m going to be thrown away.”
“I-i wont…” He swiftly slipped out of the bed and returned with a condom on. He whispered as he pulled my legs around him, pressing himself at my entrance. “I wont…”
“But you can’t promise that.” I swallowed hard and felt him sink into me inch by inch. The rest of my thoughts were voided by the methodical pace of him stretching me open. He ignored what I had said and instead focused on kissing everywhere he could reach as he thrusted slowly. My hands traced the length of his spine, resting in the center of his back and keeping him close. Inside my head I pleaded for him to not go slow, to not be intimate and stir up more dreadful feelings inside the pit of my stomach. Please just fuck me so I can be reminded of how shitty you are. Don’t remind me of how cute and caring you can be. I’m begging you Johnny.
I knew he couldn’t hear me so of course he didn’t stop rolling his hips to have his cock hit every space within me. He was panting softly, gentle moans mixing in every once in awhile. They sounded so precious and I couldn’t help but bury myself in his lips again. His hand pulled mine away from his back just so our fingers could intertwine. Nonono, stop that. For the love of god don’t do this to me.
He squeezed my hand tight and I felt my tears resurface. This is what scared me the most. Not him leaving or him ignoring me or throwing me away. This Johnny, the human, sentimental, emotional man that could have me fall into his arms (and bed) at the snap of his fingers. I was helpless against him and I just craved more and more torture. He kissed away my tears and nudged our foreheads together. “Hey…it’s okay.” He breathed.
It is not okay. It will never be ok. But he took care of me, stilling every so often to regain his composure as i could feel him throbbing and ready for another release. Worst of all was that I wanted him too. I wanted him to feel good, another hurtful self sacrifice because I cared so much about him. I gave him a soft plea to cum for me, which he took instantly. His free hand slipped between us, his thumb pressing small acts of pleasure into my clit as his other hand never left mine. He only squeezed my fingers tighter while my walls squeezed him the same way. Just at the very end his hips made quicker snaps, hitting the back of my thighs and making my back arch from the mattress. And in one fell breath i felt my stomach heat up and the most comforting sensation flowing within me.
My cheeks flushed as I had never felt anything like it before and wondered what the hell did he do differently. Maybe it was because i was so damn love drunk that it made everything seem better when i was with him. It wasn’t until he jerked out of me so harshly that I snapped my thighs shut. “O-ow! Johnny, what the-”
“The condom broke.” He trembled.
“Excuse me?” I couldn’t believe what I had heard.
“Eri. The fucking condom broke.”
I looked down and could see his cum flowing out of me and staining the bed sheets, while the rubber had a slight tear across the tip. Our eyes met and panic slammed into me at full speed. “O-oh my fucking god. Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god.”
“You’re on birth control right?” His voice was an octave or two higher.
“Well no shit! But it doesn’t magically mean it’s 100% full proof! People still get pregnant while on birth control.”
“I’M FULLY AWARE OF THAT ERI.”
“DON’T YELL AT ME.”
“I’M SORRY I JUST…” I noticed him staring at me which made me more uncomfortable.
“What? What else is wrong?” He shrugged but continued to stare. “Johnny. What is it?!”
“Nothing! It’s just…i mean-”
“Oh, you asshole!!” I flung my pillow straight at his face. “I’m literally fucking panicking and you think cumming inside me is hot!!”
“I’M SORRY!!! I’ve never done it before and it just…looks good, ok?!”
“You are the absolute worse and I CANNOT stand you!” I covered my face that was getting heated up by the second. How could he think about that while I was panicking? How could I think it felt good and perfect when i absolutely loathed cum (and was panicking)? We truly were fucking stupid.
“Hey, we’ll be ok. I know we will.” He said softly, reaching for my hand which i pulled away.
“Easy for you to say. You have the easy way out in case that happens.” I grumbled.
He kissed my forehead and laid beside me. “No I don’t, because I wouldn’t leave.”
I turned away from him, shoving my face into the mattress as I felt his cum sticky between my thighs. “Yeah right…”
“I’m serious….i’m not gonna be like my dad.”
“Alright well, we’re gonna stop talking about this. I’m gonna shower and you can go home so I can die in peace.”
“Don’t be so dramatic. You’re not gonna die. It’s just cum.”
“I’m gay! All I am is dramatic!” I huffed as I felt all flustered now and wanted to get away from him. I stood up and cringed at the feeling of it sliding down my leg now. I awkwardly shuffled to pick up my already cum covered towel just to keep me decent enough to get to the bathroom.
“Can you stop saying that? Because i’m like…not a girl.”
I looked back at him. “Well no fucking shit, Johnny. It’s just a blanket term because you wouldn’t understand everything I identify as. Just roll with it. I don’t have time to explain.”
I grabbed my phone and went to the bathroom, locking the door tight. I tossed off my towel and turned on the water, sitting in the tub under the spray so i could suffer in silence. Eventually i ended up plugging the drain so i could sit in hot water for a bit and try and calm my nerves. I tried calling Quinn but didn’t get an answer, even texted them and still got nothing. They were still probably up Jaehyun’s ass or Taeil or someone else. I don’t know. I dialed again and waited patiently.
“Hello?”
“Doyoung, I need you please.”
“Be right there.”
He hung up as that was all he needed to know that something was wrong. I washed up, making sure to get as much of the cum out of me as possible, then rinsed and dried off. As i opened the bathroom door, Johnny was standing in the doorway, hand raised as he was going to knock. I glared at the lit blunt between his lips.
“’M leavin’.”
“Good. Bye. I have someone else coming over.”
He scoffed. “Wow. Okay. Fuck you too.” He turned away from me and headed towards my front door slamming it harshly behind him.
He made me so fucking irritated with his hot and cold bullshit. I trudged to my room and tossed my towel in the hamper, picking up my discarded pajamas and putting them back on. Around 15 or so minutes later Doyoung was in my room with an absolute cringey look on his face. “Look, i’m sorry but i needed someone to tell. You and Quinn are my closest friends and they’re not here. Please Doyoung…i know it’s gross.”
“You liked it…” he whispered.
“Please don’t remind me. I hate myself completely.”
“Why do you keep doing this, Eri? You are literally worth more than that.”
“I don’t know! I wish I knew. I wish I could just leave him but I can’t. Every time I’m mad, he shows me that side of him that I absolutely love.”
“That’s emotional manipulation.”
“It is not!” I protested. “Well…uh…maybe it is? But I don’t think he would be doing it intentionally? Why would he? He can get with anyone. He has gotten with a lot of people. I don’t think I would be any different. After all he blatantly said i’d never be his girlfriend.”
“And how did you feel about that?”
“I cried. Instantly. It hurt so fucking bad.”
“So we’ve come to the conclusion that a) he’s a fuckboy, b) he doesn’t want to be with you, c) he’s emotionally manipulative, and d) he couldn’t care less about what transpired tonight.” Doyoung gave me a shady look which made me shrink away like a scolded puppy.
“Well technically he said he would be there for me and then I kicked him out so…”
“And now you’re sticking up for him?”
“I’m not! I’m just stating facts. Doyoung, i know you’re totally and completely right. But i just…it feels weird. It feels different somehow.”
“I’m kind of sick of giving you advice and you ignoring it. It makes it seem like you don’t even care what I say.”
“No i do!” I grabbed onto his arm, sadly. “I do! i swear! I’m just a fucking idiot. I like to fuck up everything and keep myself down.”
“Why can’t you see that there are better people for you? Even ones that are right in front of you?”
I rested my head on his shoulder and set my hand in his, squeezing tight. “Doyoung, how can I…how can I stop when i love him?”
“It’s not easy to stop loving someone but…no offense- well a little offense because this is going to be hard to hear- you stopped loving Jungwoo because he loved you too much, you can stop loving Johnny because you love him too much too. You can run away and leave without giving him any explanation.”
I pulled away from Doyoung completely.
“I’m sorry for saying that and hurting you, but maybe it’s the kind of shit you need to snap out of it.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “And if you’re so worried about what might happen I can go to the pharmacy for you.”
“I-i just need time to think…” i said quietly.
“Well, you’ve got three days until it’s ineffective-or less effective or whatever. You can let me know ok?”
I nodded and felt him crush me to his chest. I held onto him for a long time, happy to feel a friends pure love rather than the tainted mess from my heart.
–
Johnny’s POV
“FUCKING SHIT!” I threw the beer bottle I just finished against my wall, watching it shatter into pieces. What the actual fuck just happened between Eri and I? Tonight was fucked up- no, beyond fucked up to the point where I just ended up more confused and angry then I was before. I paced back and forth across my room while thoughts zoomed in my brain. I tried to break everything down and figure out what i could so I could attempt to get my mind straight.
I was pissed off at Taeyong. He was such a smug little fuck about hooking up with Eri, blasting it all over the chat. And why were they counting how many times they hooked up with her like it was some sort of game? I didn’t want him anywhere near Eri. She was mi-. I stopped pacing for a moment. She wasn’t mine. She is not yours Johnny. She is NOT yours.
My pacing resumed. He didn’t deserve to touch her. And neither did those other assholes. I wanted her to myself. She’s mi-. As i grew close to the door i slammed my head against it, not too hard but enough to try and get it through my skull that Eri was not mine.
I had told her she would never be my girlfriend because I was angry. I knew it hurt her the second it came out of my mouth and I wished I could’ve taken it back. Our conversation was so back and forth she probably thought I was crazy. One minute I was mad, the other I wanted to be with her, comfort her, be inside her and make her feel good. I didn’t want her to feel like shit because of me but I was failing horribly.
What even possessed me to touch her like that? So slow and gentle? It felt like I was having an out of body experience and I watched who I wanted to be for her come out and take over. It was what I wanted to give her for the longest time. Something more stable to hold onto rather than whatever the fuck I was now. But that didn’t go over so well for my feelings. I was faded and more emotional than ever, a bad combination. I wanted to tell her what I felt for her but i don’t even think i’m too sure myself. Feelings were there but what kind? Did I have a crush? I liked her? Wanted to keep being fuck buddies? Did I love her? My body shuddered at the thought. I had never been in love before so how could I know?
I’ve always wanted to be in love and have someone to care about. I knew familiar love and friendship love but not romantic love. I wanted to take my girlfriend to the beach, to Korea, to visit countries across the globe. Take pictures of us for vacation scrapbooks and eat everything we could ever dream of. Go hiking with her and hold her hand so she wouldn’t trip on a branch and hurt herself. Laugh when we thought of a memory we had together or hold her as she cried. But i was also scared shitless of all of that. Could I even be that good of a person to her? I didn’t want to end up being a carbon copy of my dad. Why would I want to be the cause of my love’s suffering and leave them behind with a kid I didn’t care about?
Fuck.
The stupid condom.
I tossed myself onto my bed and groaned. I was scared of that too. I’m only 23 and work at a fucking coffee shop, what the hell was I gonna do with a kid? I’m sure we were gonna be okay but…it still made me a little queasy. Except for the fact that I thought cumming inside her was fucking hot. I was a complete jackass for thinking about it at a time like that but I couldn’t help it. Like me: worried to all hell and back about the condom breaking, also me: holy hell I want to do it again. I facepalmed myself and let out another frustrated groan. I was ready to just throw myself out a window rather than face my embarrassment and mistakes. Now Taeyong was probably going to be up her ass and I swear to god if he got with her I was personally going to go to his apartment and kick his ass.
I sat up and started taking off my clothes, figuring I could just sleep all this shit away and ignore it. I flung everything to a corner of my room and reached over to shut off my desk lamp. I noticed my little keychain that I had got at the bookstore resting on the desk. I picked it up and shut off the light before snuggling deep under the blankets. I kept the keychain close to me thinking of nothing but Eri as I went to sleep.
A week had passed since that weird half fight/half fuck between us and I was starting to get a taste of my own medicine. I hated not hearing from her and I found myself constantly checking my phone to see if by chance I missed anything. She hadn’t even posted on any of her social media that I followed her on. Whenever I would hang out with the guys at lunch none of them talked about her, not even Lucas. I had no idea what was going on. I tried to keep myself busy with school work but found myself thinking of her more than I needed too. Sometimes those thoughts implanted little sinister buds of sinfully delicious fantasies and in the midst of being hurt and confused about where we stood I was jacking off to thoughts of her more than I needed too. It was multiple times a day, whenever I was at home and it was starting to get on my nerves. I shouldn’t have been thinking about her like that when I was the cause of most of this mess but it couldn’t be helped. I was a stupid slut and would rather focus on that then the pain I caused her. I was in the middle of rutting against my hand and mattress only a few seconds away from cumming when my phone beside my pillow lit up. The brightness in the darkness of my room distracted me and I look at the screen, ready to ignore the notification until I saw who it was from. I wiped my hand on my sheets and snatched my phone up, unlocking it and going to the message.
🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: hey
I typed in my simple response quickly.
Hey
🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: come over
Fuck…did she actually want to hook up?
What for babe?
🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: we need to talk.
🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: asap
Talk about what?
🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: come over and i’ll tell u dumbass
🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: I mean it
Give me like 15 mins. Im busy
🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: fine but dont keep me waiting.
I bit my lip and set my phone aside. It made me nervous to think about what she wanted to talk with me about. A small part of me was hoping that I could still get laid and have amazing makeup sex. But first…
–
Eri’s POV
I hated that I had to do this. With every fiber in my entire being. It was definitely up there with one of the worst decisions I would have to make. I didn’t want to talk to him or even make him think that I had forgiven him. I had purposefully ignored him like he had done to me so many times before. Even when he sent me the occasional text I left him on read. It felt good to have that power but I had to cut my reign of terror short when I realized that my problem needed a solution and fast. Time was running out and I exhausted all my resources. I knew I was going to regret this but it had to be done. My stomach was in knots as I waited for him. 15 minutes was a lie, it was over a half hour before he showed up at my place. His hair was damp and he smelled of fresh cologne and soap. I stared at him quizzically when I opened the door. He smiled at me, looking like he was happy to see me while I was mortified to see him. He wasn’t wearing anything fancy either. Just a white crew neck and some skinny jeans and winter coat but he still looked so damn good. Stupid fucker.
“Sooo…” he started, chewing on his bottom lip a little bit. I yanked him into my apartment and dragged him towards my room, slamming the door behind us. “Oh shit, ok.” He grabbed at his shirt, about to take it off when I stopped him.
“No! None of that!” I swatted at his hands. “That’s not what I called you over here for.”
“Oh…” he said, dejected.
I rolled my eyes. “Look, i don’t have any other choice. You were the last person on my list, so don’t like flatter yourself.”
“What is going on? You’re making me suspicious.”
I sighed. “Will you be my boyfriend?” Oh jesus christ no, not what I meant!!
“Excuse me WHAT?!” He screamed.
“AHHH FUCK, I MEANT PRETEND. PREEEETENND. PRETEND TO BE MY BOYFRIEND!!” I tried to correct myself.
“AGAIN, WHAT, AND I CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, THE FUCK?!”
“Ugh! Okay okay, back peddling.” I took a deep breath trying not to fuck this up even more than I already had. “Just hear me out ok?”
“You better start talking asap, bro!”
“I need someone to come with me to my sister’s Quinceanera this weekend. I have literally asked every single one of my guy friends and they’re all "conveniently” busy. I seriously need help.“
"Why can’t you take Quinn or something?!”
I sighed. “Johnny, if I show up with a girl as my date my grandparents would disown me and it would make a huge scene at the party and I can’t take that away from Dani. My family has this thing where they obsess over asking me if I have a boyfriend or not. I’m the oldest cousin so according to them I should be married and pregnant by now. My mom tries her best to keep them at bay but if I just show up with someone they will at least be civil for this party. Please. I don’t have anyone else. I wouldn’t be asking you this if it wasn’t a huge deal for me.”
“Well that sounds like a personal problem. Sucks to suck.”
I was shocked that that was actually his response. It was a good effort I guess but I was stuck doing this alone. I hoped to all hell nothing would happen that would ruin this for my little sister. It was completely stupid that my family judged me based on who I loved or wanted to be with, that every question about my life had to revolve around me having a man. It always started with a blanket question, one that seemed innocent enough, but then veered into “when will you get a boyfriend?” territory. Not only that but I still had to be on the down low whenever I was with them. Dani knew and so did my mom who was still working to be supportive but that was it. I knew I couldn’t tell other people in my family. If I went alone I could just suck it up and be miserable the whole time which at this point looked to be my only option. “Sorry to bother you…” I said as i sat down at my desk. I lowered my head onto the top and tried to figure out a way to smooth things over with my family for one night.
“Eri…is this really that serious?”
I raised my head up and looked at him. “Yes. I just want things to go right with this, for her sake. I’m literally the black sheep of the family. I’m darker than everyone, my hair is curlier, i’m queer, i play in a heavy metal band, i’m not ultra feminine, and i’m as far away from traditional as possible.” I tried again to convince him. It was turning out to be more pathetic than I hoped for. “I will promise, like absolutely promise, to be nice and civil with you if you do this for me. Please Johnny?”
“What do I get in return?”
I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Whatever you want. I’m too desperate to fight you on this.”
“Anything I want? You’re serious?” He asked. I could almost see the deviousness going on in his head and instantly regretted it. But I swallowed my pride.
“Anything.”
“Ok. I’ll think about what I want and let you know. I gotta dress up or something?”
“So you’ll do it?” I practically jumped out of my chair.
“Yeah, i’ll do it.”
“Fuck, you stupid bastard! You’re the best!” I threw myself on him, wrapping my arms around his neck in a tight hug. “It’s tomorrow night. We have to drive two hours to get to where I live. It won’t end until late so we can get a motel if we’re too tired to drive back.”
“A motel, huh?”
“Don’t even start, please.” I went to pull away but he set his hand on the small of my back, keeping me close.
“Tell me what you want me to do.” He lowered his head towards mine, getting dangerously close to my lips. I swallowed hard.
“W-well…wear something nice and don’t be an asshole. Um…pretend like I’m the greatest thing to ever grace your life? Hold my hand or something…or hold me in general. Follow all my lies and try to remember them. Be prepared to be grilled by every woman in my family and subject to a bunch of sexist and misogynistic comments from my stupid uncles. They’ll be some kids there running around and loud ass music. Um…you may have to dance with me.”
“Oof…I’m not a great dancer.”
“It’s fine, i don’t dance much either. Oh and don’t get drunk. Oh! And don’t let me get drunk. I think that’s the gist of it. I may think of other stuff on the way there. Is that all ok?”
He cupped my face in his hand while the other held mine. He lowered himself to my lips and kissed me gently, barely teasing my tongue with his own and making my heart feel like it was about to burst. When he pulled away my lips kept following him not wanting to let go. He chuckled softly and looked directly at me. “Mi amor, siento que no puedo vivir sin ti.”
I shoved him away. “BITCH, WHAT THE FUCK?!”
He cackled loudly, clutching at his stomach. “Is that “boyfriend” enough for you?”
“Where the hell did you pull that from?!”
“You said it’s a Quinceanera right? I figured I could put my 6 years of Spanish class to good use. How’d I do?” He was still laughing up a storm while I was ready to call off the whole thing. I couldn’t believe he would be able to possibly understand my stupid family.
“How much do you know?” I asked.
“Enough. I’ll mess up every now and again but I think i could pull off a conversation if I needed to.”
“Christ. Ok…If they say something to you just pretend you don’t know anything. I know they’re gonna talk shit and then you can come back and tell me. That’s all we’re gonna do, ok? Ok. I’m gonna throw up.”
“Why? I won’t mess this up, okay? I know she’s important to you. We’ll be civil remember?”
I looked up at him and nodded. “Thank you, Johnny. Seriously.”
He shrugged and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “It’s cool. So what time is my hot date picking me up?”
“Probably around 4, i’m sure I’ll need to help set up and stuff. And help with makeup. We can get dressed at the motel because I do not want to walk in heels in the snow and i also don’t want to mess up my dress. Where I live my mom said that the snow is more melted and they have clearer sidewalks so I should be good there.”
“Alright, sounds good…so…what’s our plan for tonight?”
I raised my brow, confused. “What do you mean?”
“I came all the way here and I figured we might…We could practice for being a couple tomorrow.”
“You’re going to give me a bunch of hickies and I can’t have that.”
“That’s the pot calling the kettle black. All you do is bite and scratch like a little chihuahua.” He laughed.
I stomped my foot down and huffed. “I am not a little chihuahua!”
“How about I make them where everyone can’t see? Then we won’t have any problems, hmm?”
I crossed my arms and pursed my lips together, hating how devilishly convincing he could be. He was a natural born flirt and it made me want to punch him. I nibbled my bottom lip contemplating if I should really give him the satisfaction. He pulled his coat off and yanked his shirt over his head, showing me his perfectly toned chest and how low slung his jeans were. Asshole. I grabbed onto the waistband of his jeans and pulled him close so we could crash our lips together. He pushed me back onto the bed and crawled on top of me, shoving his tongue past my teeth and coaxing me to moan in his mouth. I grabbed onto his shoulders and shoved him down so I could roll on top of him. “What’s the real reason you were late?” I asked as I dug my nails into his stomach.
“Jacking off.” He grabbed at my tshirt and tried pulled it up but I shoved his hands away and pinned his wrists down.
“I knew it, pig.”
“You act like you don’t do it. How many times have you showed me what you like doing when you’re alone, hmm? When we facetime and I call you late at night?” He teased.
“Shut up, Johnny. You’re so fucking annoying.” I dove my head down to bite at his chest, leaving harsh kisses in my wake. He tried moving his hands but i kept him pinned, liking the fact that he was the one squirming for once. I moved just a bit lower to land a few bites before licking through the center of his chest and up his throat. His entire body practically caved in on itself with how hard he shuddered.
“Fu-fuck…” He licked his lips and tossed his head back, moaning deeply. I blushed as I watched, feeling myself become victim to how good he looked. I resisted the urge to suck on his neck and went back to his chest, taking his nipple into my mouth. I knew this would truly make him squirm but i didn’t expect how hard his hips would buck. I moved my head away from him to over hover his face.
“You’re not being a very good boy are you?”
He opened one eye to glare at me. “When am I ever?”
“I think I should stop. I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow.”
“Oh don’t you play that game with me, Eri! That’s not fair!”
I moved away from him completely and made my way over to open my bedroom door. “Out.”
He sad up with an incredulous look on his face. “You’re kidding?!”
“You’re being bad so you get nothing. C'mon now.”
“I’ll be good then! Whatever the fuck that means!”
I shook my head. “I’ll pick you up at 4, ok?”
“Fuckin’ hell!” He got up, his jeans visibly tighter and pulled his shirt back over his head. He grabbed his coat and made his way out of my room with the biggest pout on his face. Just as he had stepped out of the door frame he turned back to me. “Can I ask you something?” He propped his forearm above his head on the frame and looked down at me.
“What?”
“Besides us freaking out…did you…did you like it when I came inside you?
My entire face felt like it was on fire and took a step back as if that would somehow prevent him from seeing my embarrassment. "I-i-i-i have n-noooo idea what you’re t-talking about!” I stuttered.
“I mean, did you like the way it felt inside you? Like how hot or how deep it was?”
“Please stop talking!” My voice was now a squeaky whisper.
Johnny smirked and ran his tongue over his teeth. “I guess that answers my question, doesn’t it? See ya tomorrow, Eri. And don’t forget, you owe me one.” He winked at me and headed towards my front door, leaving me more flustered than ever.
–
I spent the whole two hour ride telling him about which one of my aunts would grill him the most and which cousin got pregnant first and who’s baby daddy was a complete failure and which of my uncles was most likely to get drunk and cause a scene. I was sure he wouldn’t remember any of it but I was trying to over prepare him for the shit show that was my family. I also needed him to make a good impression so it would look like he was actually happy to be dating me. Fake dating me of course. We checked into the motel first and I spent most of my time being frustrated with my hair and trying to curl it the way I wanted it. It just barely cooperated and i wasted about half a can of hairspray trying to keep everything in place.
My makeup was more softer and neutral than normal to go with my pastel pink floor length sweetheart neckline dress (which made me feel lowkey so pretty). Dani’s theme colors were pink and mint so I was able to at least wear something I would like. Just as i had slipped on my gown i realized there was no way I could reach the zipper in the back. I huffed and squirmed, trying my damndest until I finally gave up. I opened the bathroom door just a crack and peeked out. My heart basically exploded and I wouldn’t normally say that my basement could flood in two seconds but this was definitely one of those times.
Johnny was checking himself out in the large mirror on the other side of the room. He wore black pinstripe pants that hugged his ass like a dream. The sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled to the elbows and a fitted grey vest covered his torso. He adjusted the black tie around his neck, fussing with it until he seemed comfortable enough. He had an extremely nice watch on one wrist and a silver chain bracelet on the other. A few simple rings decorated his fingers and his black dress shoes seemed to sparkle in the fluorescent lighting. His hair was even freshly faded and his bangs trimmed and slicked back. Lord have mercy I wanted to die. I swallowed hard and took a few deep breaths before I called out to him.
His honey brown eyes shot up to look at me and I gripped the handle of the bathroom door tighter. “What?”
“Could you um…help me zip my dress?”
He sauntered over to me I tried to keep myself within the tiny gap of the open door but he pushed it open leaving me exposed to all of his handsome glory. He found the zipper and slid it up slowly, making sure the fabric didn’t get caught in it. “Do you want me to tie the sash thing too?” I nodded meekly and felt his hands smooth over the fabric under my chest and slide back to gather the ends to tie into a bow. It was such a simple thing to do but it had my body turning warmer by the second. I caught him looking at me in the reflection of the mirror above the sink once he was done. He looked shocked, licking his lips as if he was trying to say something but not being able to get anything out. I turned my head back towards him.
“Do I…do I look okay?”
He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. “Yeah, you look alright.”
“Oh…” I said softly. Just alright.
“I mean like you look good, you know? Um…yeah, real good.”
I avoided looking at him as I slipped out the bathroom. I didn’t have that much time left before we had to head over and I still had to wiggle my feet into heels that I was sure would break my ankles as soon as I got into them. I struggled to get them strapped around my ankles, huffing when my boobs got in my way as I doubled over to reach my feet. I sat down at the small desk and tried to angle myself another way but it was still just as frustrating. “Need help with that too?” He asked.
I nodded, defeated and he came in front of me, landing on one knee. He slid my dress up to my thigh and took my foot in his hands, delicately securing the straps around my ankle. I couldn’t help but feel like Cinderella in that moment, even if my so called prince charming was a fuck boy. “Thanks.” I said softly as I stood up. He rose to his feet too and it was weird to almost be face to face with him, instead of staring at his chest.
“Oh, i don’t like this.” He joked. “I’d like you to stay mini sized.”
“Yeah well they won’t be on for long. They’re already killing me. I just need to get through the walk and first dance and then i’m tossing them.” I nibbled my lip for a moment before pressing them to his, which seemed to catch him a little off guard. “Hmm, it’s nice to not have to stand on my tiptoes to kiss you.”
“Hm, let’s hope that walk goes fast. I don’t like those heels either.” He smiled at me and offered his arm. “Ready now?”
I grabbed my clutch from atop the desk and nodded. “You have the room key right?”
“Yep.” We headed out of the room and towards the parking lot to my car. “You know, the pastel pink is really nice with your skin tone.”
I straightened up at his compliment. “You really think so?”
He opened the door to my car and lead me to sit down. “I know so.”
I laughed nervously. “A-are you practicing your boyfriend skills?” I tried to make it sound like a joke but he just shrugged and went over to the passenger side to get in. I swallowed hard and clicked my seat belt into place before revving up the engine. “Oh, remember how I said if I told you my government name I’d have to kill you?”
“Yeah?”
“Well you’re going to hear it tonight and if you so much as ever repeat it you won’t have a dick, got it?”
“Why not? It can’t be that bad!”
“Trust me, it definitely is.”
–
“ERIANNALISSE!”
I cringed. I cringed hard and wanted to shrink away into a minuscule molecule and be non existent. I didn’t even want to look at Johnny to see what he was going to say. I could practically hear him trying to cover up his snickers. I sighed and put on a fake smile as my aunt came to me with arms wide open to capture me in a death grip hug that could snap my spine in half. “Ay, mija! Look at you, you look so pretty!” She paused. “Have you gained weight?”
“Nice to see you too, Titi.” I grit my teeth and tried to ignore her shade. Her eyes went over to Johnny, looking him up and down and squinting her eyes a bit.
“Eriannalisse, quien es este?” She asked who Johnny was.
I grabbed onto his arm, digging my nails into his bicep. “This is my….boyfriend, Johnny.”
He waved and grimaced through my death grip. “Hi. Nice to meet you.”
“Hm…” Was all my aunt said. “Titi Carmen has been wanting to see you. I’m sure she’d want to meet…Johnny.”
“Yeah, i’ll go see her in a bit! I have to find mami and Dani first.”
My aunt kissed both of my cheeks and left to go join the gossiping group of women in my family who all suddenly turned their gazes from their champagne flutes to Johnny and I. I turned my back towards them and looked up at Johnny. “I will literally pay you .25 cents to kill me. Just make it quick.”
“Don’t be so dramatic, Eriannalisse. What’s the worst that could happen?” He smirked and laughed a bit which made me frown.
“Johnny, I told you don’t call me that. I’m serious. They can call me that because they don’t recognize who I am as a person. You can’t.”
“O-oh…is it a gay thing? Like one of your gay things that you won’t explain to me?”
I sighed and looked down at my feet. “Yeah, sort of. I’ll explain it to you eventually. Just not now ok?”
He took my hand in his and gave it a squeeze. “Ok, i’m sorry. I won’t say it again.” He leaned down just a bit and gave me a soft (rated PG) kiss which made me smile.
“It’s just hard being around them…I wish it would be a fun time but-” I suddenly heard vicious clacking before arms were thrown around my shoulders.
“ERIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!” I recognized the overly excited voice and looked up at my modelesque baby sister. “I missed you so much!”
I kissed her cheek and turned around to properly hug her. “Hey, happy birthday.”
“You’re like almost my height!” She said, looking down at my heels. Dani was so graciously blessed with being 5’8”, skinny, with straighter hair and caramel skin as opposed to my milk chocolate. Her eyes were the perfect shade of hazel with flecks of green that sparkled perfectly. She was only my half sister as our fathers were different but we were raised both the same, save for the fact that she was a model and I was the throw away. “You look so pretty. I’m glad you’re not in black- Yooooooooooo, who is THIS!?” Her attention turned to Johnny, her eyes wide and mouth practically watering.
“Uh…hey.” he said sheepishly.
“This is my boyfriend, Johnny.”
Dani laughed and slapped my shoulder. “No, really!? Who is he?”
I pouted. “I’m serious. He’s my boyfriend.”
Dani looked at me then stepped up to Johnny. “What’s her favorite color?”
“Pastel pink.” He answered.
“Favorite food?”
“Pizza…and pasta.”
“What instruments can she play?”
“Guitar, and she sings.”
“What’s her favorite anime?”
“Sailor Moon.”
Dani squinted her eyes. “When’s her birthday?”
Fuck, he didn’t know that. I grabbed Dani’s arm, trying to get her attention from ruining our facade. “Dani, can you not grill him please? It’s bad enough Titi Lisa and probably Titi Carmen are talking shit about us already. Also, I haven’t told mom yet.”
“You haven’t told mom yet?! How long have you been dating?”
“It’ll be four months in December.” Johnny added. “We started dating right when the semester started. We have a class together and I thought she was cute so,” He shrugged. “Here we are.”
“Yeah but you’re hot. Eri has never dated anyone this hot before.”
“Well gee, thanks Dani! And i’ve dated cute people before!”
“Yeah cute, not hot. He’s hot. If you’re not going to keep him, I’ll take him.”
“You’re fifteen!” Johnny and I said at the same time.
Dani shrugged. “I mean…”
I held my hand up. “Don’t even go there. He’s like-” How old was Johnny anyway? “Way older than you. Stop being an instagram thot for once. Where’s mami? I need to know when she wants us to line up and start this.”
“I think at 8 exactly, but she’s running around like a chicken with her head cut off. I’ve just been chilling with my friends for now. This dress weighs like 50 pounds and I’m sweating like a whore in church.” Dani fanned at herself and hiked up the bodice of her dress. I looked at her poofy dress that was a beautiful array of soft Monet colors but way too 90’s barbie cake topper. It wouldn’t have been my first choice but I was sure mami wanted it to look as traditional as possible. “Oh, by the wayyyy, I know you have a boyfriend now but mami invited Josue.”
I straightened up completely when I heard that name. Josue was my childhood crush. He was older than me and I never stood a chance with him but we always played together. Once we kissed in my backyard and told me that he wanted to play house with me and be the daddy. I had been in love with him up until I was 12 when he moved away to a different state. “Jo-Josue? He’s coming? Here? Tonight?” I squeaked.
“Who’s Josue?” Johnny interjected.
“Josue is Eri’s big ol’ crush from when she was younger. All they did was play house together and be mommy and daddy and make kissy faces at each other. Then they kissed for real and he touched her chichi’s! But they never lived happily ever after because he moved away.”
“Dani, por favor, why do you have to be like this? I’m just happy to know he’s going to be here. I haven’t even seen him in like…almost 7 years. Besides I’m with Johnny now so it doesn’t matter.” I forced his arm around my waist and he clutched onto it tightly.
“Uh-huh whatever. Have you not followed him on Insta? There’s a lot of nice gym pictures. He hit a growth spurt. He’s like 6”3’ now.”
I swallowed hard. “Really? O-oh wow…”
“Sounds like a tool.” Johnny scoffed. “Ya’ll got beer at this place?”
Dani nodded towards the bar at the back of the venue. “Just fight my uncles off before they drink them all.”
“Cool.” He dipped out completely, leaving me and my sister to be swept away by our mother who had just stepped in like she was out of breath. She hustled to get us all lined up and ready like a bridal party ready to walk down the aisle. I sighed as I stayed in place, shuffling a bit as my feet already started to hurt. My mind started wandering to my childhood crush. Memories started bubbling to the surface; he had been my first kiss, the first to get to second base, and the first person I had wanted to be my boyfriend. He was three years older than me and I didn’t stand a chance with him. But his name was written all over my notebooks until I got my first girlfriend.
I couldn’t help but peek around a bit, wondering if he was already in the venue. I didn’t have much time to investigate as our entrance music started playing and pair by pair we walked into the main dance floor. I was walking with one of my younger cousin’s who I rarely spoke with so I barely paid attention. He had to yank me back a bit when I walked too fast and it made me want to punch him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Johnny leaning against the back wall nursing a beer and watching me intensely. I smiled in his direction, letting him know I was still trying to be civil but he just took another sip and shoved his hand into his pocket. I wondered if he was ignoring me on purpose or if he genuinely didn’t see me. I chewed on my bottom lip almost getting swept up in my thoughts, that was until I saw Dani walking into the room.
Even though I had seen her just minutes ago now that all eyes were on her she looked sparkling and glowing. I’d never seen her look so beautiful before and it brought tears to my eyes that I tried wiping away as soon as they surfaced. I was a proud sibling then. She meant so much to me that I hoped that this day always reminded her of the happiest times she had in her life. We had our ups and downs but for the most part I was always there for her as much as she was there for me. She embarrassed me and I made sure I had to keep her in place before she got too out of hand. Even though I was far away from home now, I knew we would always remain close.
The floor was hers now and we dispersed to let her have the spotlight. I retreated to one of the circular tables while her and our mom shared a dance. It was normally meant for a daughter and her father but since neither of us had them in our lives our mother was the one who deserved to have that dance. I felt a touch on my shoulder and turned to see Johnny sitting behind me at the table. “Want some?” He said, offering the beer which i denied.
“I hate that kind. I’ll leave you too it.”
“She looks nice.”
“She’s a little shit but I love her.”
“I could say the same about you.”
I whipped my head around to stare at him wide eyed. “W-what?”
“I meant like you’re chill! Like i like you. Not like like you but like we’re cool. Uh…you know.” I stammered.
“Right…yeah, um…ok.”
“You wanna dance?!” He said, changing the subject quickly. Dani and my mother had finished their sentimental dance and the dj had switched to some reggaeton/trap mix Dani most likely requested.
“Uh, you mean make a fool out of ourselves?”
He shrugged and chugged down the rest of the beer in a few gulps. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad. My cousins were already grinding with whoever they invited or dancing in groups and laughing. We could probably blend in without being too weird. I kicked off my heels and stood up, extending my hand for him to take. I should’ve had a drink before I even agreed to this. My stomach was already in knots and my anxiety was making me feel like I was going to look stupid but he took my hand and we found a spot in a little corner of the dance floor. I stood in front of him waiting for him to make a move but he just stood there with his hands in his pockets. Why the hell did he keep doing that? Was it a nervous habit?
“So…” he said.
“Are you gonna like…move?”
“I’ve never danced to this sort of music. What do I do?”
“Literally it’s the same as rap music in english. You just sorta…” I gestured towards my family. “Grind on each other and act a fool.”
“So you turn around and just like put your ass against me?”
“Oh my God, have you never done that before?”
“Listen I was a dork and went to high school with a bunch of white kids and we like listened to Ke$ha and Britney Spears. What do you want from me?” He laughed.
“That’s unfortunate.” I joked. I turned around so my back was against his chest and I set his hands on my hips. “I’m not the best but I figure I can put my ass to use.” I worked myself back against him, swaying to the music a bit in hopes of getting him to respond.
Instead he laughed nervously and held my waist tighter. “How do people not get boners doing this?”
“I mean that’s what the song 'Too Close’ is about. Don’t tell me this is turning you on already.” I teased.
He lowered himself to face level and turned my head towards his to kiss me. I held it for a bit, enjoying the way the warmth of his tongue flowed over mine until I realized if my mom caught me doing this my ass would be grass. I pushed him back gently. “Johnny! I can’t do that. Behave!”
“C'mon, I at least need to have a little bit of fun while I’m here. And then when we get back to the motel we can-”
I felt a tap on my shoulder then. Johnny and I both looked up to see a tall, absolutely golden, green eyed adonis that looked like he could pick me up and toss me around in an instant. If I could have heart eyes I definitely would. I let go of Johnny instantly, almost pushing him away as my heart started to skip beats.
“Eri!” I knew it was him instantly even if puberty hit him like a freight train and gave him a deep bass-y voice that made my hair stand on end. He opened his arms to scoop me up and crush me to his barrel chest which smelled of high priced cologne. My feet dangled just a bit when he lifted me. “I can’t believe it. I haven’t seen you in ages!”
“Oh my god, Josue…Jesus, you’re huge.” God I hoped he was huge everywhere.
He laughed and I tried not to show how much it affected me. “Oh yeah, I’m really into that health and fitness thing. You really uh…wow. Definitely not a teeny bopper anymore.” He set me back down and adjusted the sleeves of his suit jacket.
“Yep! Got bigger boobs now, haha!” Why did I say that? WHY???
He licked his lips a smiled a bit. “I can definitely see that.”
Johnny cleared his throat deeply. Josue turned his attention to the man behind me. “Oh hey, I’m Josue. Who are you?”
“I’m her boy-”
“This is just Johnny!” I interjected with a nervous laugh. “Just Johnny! Want to go get something to drink? We can catch up!”
Josue flashed his incredibly perfect teeth. “Yeah I’d love that.” He set his giant hand against the small of my back ushering me away from Johnny.
“Eri!” Johnny said sternly.
“I’ll just be quick!” I mouthed to him, letting myself get whisked away. He didn’t seem too happy about that but I could let him sulk for a bit. I was too preoccupied at the moment anyway.
–
Johnny’s POV
That was fucked up. Way more than fucked up and I was pissed off beyond belief. She was the one who begged me to come with her so she would survive her family. Now she was head over heels for some dude she had a crush on years ago who looked like the biggest douchebag to ever exist. He was taller than me and more built, had perfect teeth and no lisp. I wanted to punch him dead in the jaw.
I didn’t know what to do now. If I went after her it might cause a scene which I didn’t completely want. I still knew that this party was important to her sister and unlike her I wasn’t being an asshole for once. I could get another drink and maybe get away with being a little tipsy but her loud uncles were hogging up the space and the bartender’s attention. I grumbled as I sat back down at the table. my arms crossed as I contemplated leaving her and going back to the motel by myself.
"What are you pouting for?!” Dani said as she plopped down next to me, her poofy dress seeming to expand.
“Nothing.”
“Where’s Eri?”
“With precious Josue.” I said bitterly.
“Ah, so he finally found her. I knew he would.” She drummed her nails on the table thinking over her next statement. “You’re not dating my sister are you?”
“It’s complicated…”
“You’re fuck buddies?”
“Yes.”
“I figured as much. She can’t never lie right when it comes to me. So, you’re in love with her then?”
I snapped my head towards her. “Excuse me?”
“You’re in love with her right? I mean that’s the only reason you would be sulking over her because Eri went off with her new papi.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m not sulking.” She was definitely Eri’s sister with how she blurted out things without consequence.
“Look, if you want to win her over you need to definitely do something that will make her remember you. Not that I want to hear about my sister’s sex life or even think about her getting p or v action, but if you got something she might like, go for it. And do it before she ends up going to Josue’s hotel.” She craned her neck to see where Eri and that asshole had gone off too. “Looks like he may have already given her his number.”
I looked in the same direction, my anger only getting stronger. They were huddled over their phones, laughing, with Eri casually (but noticeably) keeping her hands on him. I didn’t want to “win her over”. I wanted to stake my claim and tell him to fuck right off. The grip on my biceps got tighter the more I stared at them. “Ay, you got a younger brother?”
I turned my attention back to Dani, a bit grateful that she was distracting me enough to not go apeshit. “What? No? I’m an only child.”
“Wack. But like if you’re not gonna date Eri then likeeee…”
“You’re fifteen! I’m not going to jail nor am I interested.”
“Ok, ok…but like do you have any younger friends? What flavor Asian are you? Chinese? Or like them ones that dance on tv? The um…the Korean ones!”
“Oh my God.” I ran a hand over my face. “Yes I’m Korean. And no I don’t have any friends your age. My only young friend in Toronto is 18, which is still illegal.”
“Dammit. You know Eri be listening to that stuff right?”
I pulled out my phone, wanting her to take a hint that she was now annoying me without being too rude. “Doesn’t surprise me when she fucks half of Asia.”
“All her hookups are with Asian guys?”
“As far as I’m aware. But who fuckin’ knows.”
“Oooohhh I gotta mess with her about that. Guess she trying to get that carribean dick now.” She cackled and slapped my back hard as she got up. “Call me, ok?!” She said as she finally left me to join the gaggle of teenage girls that were her friends.
I rubbed my temples and took a few deeps breaths. I needed a smoke, badly. I looked to see if Eri was still stuck to Josue’s side but they were nowhere to be found. I looked around the dance floor trying to see if they might have gone there. Sure enough she was grinding on him now, definitely not as awkward as she had been with me. She was practically bent over and ready to get fucked by him. Fuck it. I stood up and weaved through everyone dancing to make my way over to her. I stood in front of her, watching as she came up from shaking her ass.
“Can we help you?” Josue yelled over the music to me. I rolled my eyes at him and took Eri’s chin in my hand giving her a deep kiss. She stumbled back a bit and gripped onto my vest. When i pulled away i licked my lips, tasting the slight flavor of her lipstick.
“Johnny!” She exclaimed.
“What the hell are you doing?” He asked, in his macho voice, trying to one up me.
“Oh, you didn’t know?” I grabbed onto Eri’s waist and kept her close to me. “She’s MY girlfriend. You had your fun catching up right?”
“Eri, you didn’t tell me-”
She looked panicked as she glanced between us. “No, wait- It’s just-”
“Come with me.” I growled in her ear. “Now.”
“Johnny , I swear to g-” I kept my arm around her waist and lead her towards the front door of the venue. When we were in the clear she whipped around to face me. “What the actual fuck?!”
“I should be asking you the same thing! You’re really gonna ditch me to throw yourself on him? After you begged me to come here?!”
“I wasn’t throwing myself on him! We haven’t seen each other in 7 years! So excuse me if I wanted to talk with him.”
“Hard to talk to him with his dick practically in your mouth! What is wrong with you?!”
“Why are you being such a jerk again! You always do this!” She yelled.
“You’re the one being the jerk this time! I’m fuckin’ pissed. When are we leaving?���
“Leaving?! I have to stay here for at least a few hours! Clearly you don’t know how these go.”
“No, Eri, i fuckin’ don’t. But I do know that you going off with someone else while I’m supposed to be your boyfriend blows our entire cover. So either you fucking act right or I can leave right now. You sister already knows were lying.”
“Fuck!” She stomped her foot and sighed. “I knew she would figure it out. She better not tell anyone.”
“I’m pretty sure she won’t have to with you being stupid. Get me my cigs from your purse wallet thingy.”
“Get you-? Get it yourself! I’m freezing and I’m going back inside. And maybe i’ll still be talking with Josue!”
I grabbed her arm and held onto it. “Eri, do you want to go there? Really want to go there?” My eyes caught hers and i could see how hard she swallowed. Her chest was heaving chest a bit and trembling with the cold.
“What are you going to do?” She sniffled.
“Do you want to find out?”
“M-maybe.”
I let her go then opened the door, guiding her back inside. “Then keep it up. I dare you.”
She stayed quiet then but shuffled ahead of me quickly. I realized I had made her walk outside without her shoes on or our coats but it was whatever at this point. I needed her to know that I wasn’t playing games any more. She was mine.
–*
Eri’s POV
I could barely keep up with Johnny’s long strides from the parking lot to the door of our motel room. He continued his little tyrade of sticking by me and keeping me from Josue, never letting go of my hand, or my waist, even when he went through the ringer of meeting more members of my family. Him being pissed off had me pissed off and it didn’t help when my family told me how fat I looked, or asked when Johnny and I were getting married, or why I had spent so much time in college, or even that what I was studying wasn’t going to get me a real job. It made the entire rest of the night absolutely fucking miserable. Not to mention when I told my mother I was going to spend the night in the motel with Johnny instead of driving home at midnight she blew up on me, saying that it wasn’t right and insisting that I stay at the house. I refused to and I had no idea why she still thought I was some sort of Virgin de Guadalupe or some shit. It was another fight to end this magical night. I gave up and just wanted to take a hot shower, put on my fuzzy pajamas on and possibly smoother Johnny with a pillow as he slept.
Johnny barged into our room, not even bothering to hold the door open for me. I didn’t even want to deal with him since I was still mad at my mother for treating me like a child. I went straight to prepping for my shower, tossing my clutch and fake eyelashes on the desk and my phone on the bed so i could plug it in to charge. I unzipped the dress as best as I could without his assistance and shimmied out of it, leaving it a puddle in front of the bed. I didn’t care anymore. Not one bit. After I showered I pulled the too short towel around me and went back into the shared space. Johnny was sitting in the chair, feet propped up on the desk and tie loosened. He was glaring at me and I swallowed hard at the intensity. He dropped his legs and leaned forward in the seat, undoing the first few buttons on his dress shirt.
I tried to ignore the effect he had on me and instead went to my duffel bag to try and find my pajamas. He stopped me as I passed by him, grabbing my wrist and pulling me in front of him. “Ow! What’s your problem now?!” I asked, still trying to clutch onto my towel so it wouldn’t fall.
“This night was complete bullshit. I’m your boyfriend and all you could do was throw yourself onto that guy and embarrass me in front of everyone.”
“I wasn’t throwing myself on him!” I argued again. I hated that he was saying that. So what if I found Josue incredibly attractive and felt like a preteen again as soon as I saw him? That was my business and not Johnny’s.
“You grinded on him, got his number, and had your arms around him for minutes on end. You made me look stupid. I’m your boyfriend, Eri.”
“Fake boyfriend.” I corrected.
“That’s what I meant.”
“Why should you be embarrassed then?!”
“Because your uncles didn’t think that I was man enough to keep you with me. And your aunts talked shit about me all night.” He pressed himself up against me making the edge of the desk dig into my lower back. “You said you were going to be civil and you were far from civil.” He set his hands on either side of my hips, keeping me in place.
“A-ah, Johnny…back u-up.” I whimpered and avoided looking at him but he grabbed my face roughly.
“You wanna try that shit again, Eri? Hmm?”
I could feel his fingers digging harshly into my jaw. “I didn’t do anything wrong! You’re just a jealous prick that-”
He pulled away from me and shoved me back onto the bed, instantly hovering over me. My towel fell open just like my legs and he pinned both my wrists above my head in one of his large hands. I swallowed hard and felt my heartbeat increase. I had no idea what had gotten into him and i was partially thinking about what Doyoung had said about Johnny. Was he actually trying to manipulate me and make me feel bad for being with Josue? I bit my lip as I thought, wondering what his next move would be. “Get off me.” I tried to sound strong but it was a pathetic attempt.
“Open.” He demanded.
“W-what?” What the hell did he want? I figured it out quickly as three of his fingers dove down my throat almost making me gag. I squirmed against him, trying to edge my head away but he was adding more of his weight onto me as his fingers plowed into my mouth. His knee was pressed right into my center, the residual wetness from the shower dampening the fabric. I tried swallowing around the invasion when his knee started to rock into me.
“Suck harder, Eri.”
I didn’t dare look at him. His voice was doing something to me as always. Stirring the pot of emotions and hormones that made me fall into a space of complete submission. This wasn’t like his usual ways though throughout or hookups I could see the dominance poking through. Now he was another person that I was desperate to get to know. I tried my best to suck deeper at his fingers, sliding my tongue around them and providing them all the wetness they hopefully needed. I knew exactly where they were going and i was going to be stretched far beyond my imagination. With his thrust his rings kissed my lips, shocking me with a bit of cold and excitement. I edged my tongue around the silver as best I could given the invasion that took up most of my mouth. Slowly the metal warmed up and I pressed my thighs against his, feeling a tingling throughout my center.
He pulled his hand away sharply, making me cough as his glistening fingers dove lower. Two were rushed inside me making my knees jerk up towards my chest and toes curl. I was already crying out his name, wanting him to slow down just enough for me to catch my breath and adjust but he ignored me. Instead he was working in the third finger, forcing my walls to flex and waver around him. He was already digging my arousal out of me. I could hear it so blatantly echoing in our room. I buried my face in my arm beside my head, still being unable to free my hands though I struggled as much as I could. He seemed to like that struggle as his fingers curled deep inside me, knuckles pressing against my entrance, the rings threatening to push past and fill me up too.
“Fuck, Johnny!!!” I cried out as my thighs almost snapped shut. It was starting to be too much and I could feel myself already crawling towards an orgasm.
“Quiet.” Was all he said as he pulled his fingers out to give me some relief from the pressure. I was throbbing and gaping around the stretch he left behind, my whole lower half practically trembling. He finally let me go and sat down on the bed. He splayed his legs open, unzipping his dress pants and beckoning me over to him. “Get over here.”
I shook my head, raising myself to my knees and shrinking myself away. I wasn’t scared of him, far from it. I was definitely turned on more than anything but I wanted to push him further than he had ever been capable of. He wanted to be a jealous boyfriend that pushed my buttons well I was going to push right back. “You’re being a jerk. I’m not giving you the satisfaction, especially after you decided to barge in there with your giant ass fingers!”
He lurched forward and grabbed onto my arm before I could wiggle away. He yanked me to his chest then gripped the back of my neck hard. Our eyes met before he pulled me close to his lips. “I like it better when you don’t talk.”
I squinted at him, almost in shock that he used my own line against me. “You fucker.”
He pressed me down towards his lap though I tried to resist as much as I could. It was no use as he was stronger than me and I was face to face with his growing length trapped within his briefs. His hand was now digging into my hair keeping me firmly in place. I landed a bite to his hipbone making sure he knew I wasn’t too pleased in the way he was handling me. He hissed out my name and arched his hips, his nails digging into my scalp. I wrapped my hand around his, trying to pry his iron grip away while adding kitten licks to the outline of his cock. That seemed to soothe him a little as I heard him exhale through his nose as he relaxed back against the wall. His nails quit marking my skin and he opted to push my hair away from my face gently instead of trying to rip it out.
I slid his briefs back and guided him towards my mouth pressing kisses down the shaft before licking back up to the tip. Once I got to the tip, I took him in, swallowing his head completely. I shifted my hips to raise my ass higher for him to look at knowing it would tease him. I looked up at him and saw the full pleasure that was written across his face. His eyes had closed, his lips pressed together, and his fingers trailing down to open more buttons on his dress shirt. I popped off him and placed kisses up his stomach with each new area that became exposed. “I can tease that little spot that you like.” I smirked and added a slow stroke to his cock.
“Actually, I have a better idea.” He shoved me down onto my back and straddled my shoulders, his cock now hovering above my face. I couldn’t move with his weight on me and I was trapped between his thick thighs. He tapped my lips with his cock which I absolutely hated. I slapped at his stomach but he remained stoic. He only moved to shove himself down my throat, propping one hand against the wall while the other kept my head in place. He worked quickly to rock his hips against my face making me claw at him. I wasn’t used to this sort of thing, even with all of my experience, and it hurt like all hell. I was trying my damnedest not to gag around him but it was impossible given the fact that he was ramming into my throat. My eyes watered and tears fell against my will. My nails dug into his hips as I silently begged for him to slow down.
He was moaning my name, more than he ever had before, completely lost in the pleasure of torturing my throat. He looked fucking amazing, I had to give him that much, even if I hated what he was doing to me. I loved the way his hair was coming undone from the gel he used, the way his dress shirt lay open and his tie dangled above me like an invitation. The way his thighs stretched out his dress pants was a dream and I wanted to touch every part of him. I reached for the thinner end of his tie, pulling roughly so it zipped up to his throat. He lurched back at the sudden pressure and looked down at me. He must have seen my fucked up state because he pulled out, leaving me grossed out by the messy spit that connected us still.
"Fu-fucker. That hurt” I croaked.
He pulled off me completely before lifting me up to sit in his lap. He wiped away my tears and I buried my face in his neck, clutching onto his vest. He kissed at my cheek, pulling me away from hiding. “You ok?”
I sniffled and nodded. He worked his hands over my sides and hips trying to soothe me more. Of course he couldn’t help himself and gripped my ass tight which made me laugh just a bit. “I’ve never done that before…”
“Really?” He asked, surprised.
“Ok, I’m a hoe but like there are some things I haven’t done before. You have to remember you dick is huge, dude. I’m small.”
He gave me soft tender kisses and tucked my hair behind my ear. “I know, princess. I’m sorry. But don’t think you’re getting away with this shit either.”
I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest. “I stand by the fact that I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Hmm.” Was all he said before he tossed me face down onto the bed. I looked back at him as he discarded the rest of his clothes, dangerously holding his tie in his hand. He mounted me, as I was completely his to take and wrapped the loop of the tie around my wrists, pulling tight. “You like this don’t you?” It was supposed to be a command but I could tell it was mostly an uneasy question and he needed permission to continue.
I nodded and smiled at him. “I like it a lot, daddy.” I gave him a quick kiss sealing my consent. I threw out my rule of not using our titles with one another since he couldn’t actually communicate but in this moment I need him to know that I was his to command and I was giving him as much power as I would allow.
He wrapped the length tie around his fist, keeping a firm hold on it. His other hand jerked my hips up while his knee nudged my legs apart as far as they could go. My ass was raised, arms outstretched, and my body was trembling with excitement. His first thrust was swift and hard. I could hear his hips snap against me and I was barely able to hold myself up in that moment. My arms shook weakly and I dug my fingers into the sheets as my mouth curved into a silent moan. He was almost too deep for me to handle and every slam into me seemed harsher than the last. I couldn’t really keep up. It was overpowering and I wanted to scream my pleasure into the tiny room though I could barely even mumble a word.
My fingers curled as I tried to send tension to my arms instead of my weakening legs. It was useless though and I could feel my stomach tightening. He landed a slap to my ass just as I tried to pull away from him and regroup. I hissed and bowed my head, breathing out his title again. Suddenly, my phone buzzed by my head, the screen lighting up and distracting me. I turned to see who it was and winced. This was the worst time for him to call.
Johnny pressed my head into the mattress and sped up his brutal thrusts. “Why don’t you answer it, Eri? Let him hear how good you’re getting fucked. Tell him who’s really your boyfriend.”
I opened my mouth to say anything but all that came out we’re soft croaks. I panicked when I saw him reach for my phone and I struggled to move to try and block him. “D-dont, please don’t.” I was finally able to say. He let go of his grip on the tie wrapped around my wrists and instead set it around my neck. The call disappeared much to my relief.
“What a shame Eri. Let’s see if he calls back or if he took the fucking hint.” I swallowed hard and nodded, biting into my lip to try and still my moans. He quickly latched his teeth into my neck, sucking deeply like he always did when he wanted to mark me. “Stay on all fours, got it?”
I propped myself back to my elbows as he forced my thighs to rest on the outside of his. I could hear his moan of satisfaction at the sight of me splayed open with his cock stuffed inside me. I wanted to shy away and hide but he wouldn’t let me of course. He resumed his grip on the tie, pulling it taught around my neck and constricting my air flow. My eyelids fluttered and i wondered if this was heaven. Jesus, it felt so amazing even if every muscle in my body felt like it was burning and my insides were a scrambled mess. While he made my back dip by pulling my neck by the tie I felt his other hand slid down from my hips to my wetness, flowing over my clit. I was grateful for the extra attention and wiggled my hips to rock back against him and dive further into his fingers.
His finger started to trail from my clit to dance around my gaping entrance and just like before he pressed the long digit in little by little until it was almost as deep as his cock. I pleaded for him to stop, it was too much, too overwhelming for my overly sensitive walls but he kept working away at my torturous pleasure. That, coupled with his thickness, made the tendons in my legs strain as bliss shot through me. My moans mixed in with my strangled pants as he dared to press a second finger into me.“J-johnny!!” I rasped. “It’s too much!!”
He pressed his body weight harder against me, keeping me pinned so I would have no way from escaping the overstretching. “You’re not going anywhere.” He whispered harshly in my ear, making me shudder. He curled his finger then, the pressure of his knuckles against his cock, and the sliding of his rings against my heated walls made me clench meekly around him. Johnny enjoyed seeing me writhe beneath him, seeing me try and focus on being a good brat when in reality I was starting to unravel into a brainless mess. Nothing had a hold on my attention like the buildup he was creating inside me. I could barely process the words he was saying to me with how fuzzy my senses were. He curled his fingers deeper getting right to the root of my pleasure. The head of his cock was edging as far as it could go within me, his fingers pressed into the perfect spot, and his thumb brought back smalls swipes and circles against my clit. It was a haphazard clusterfuck of intense sensations that all culminated into a harsh orgasm that sent my mind reeling. It felt like my cum rushed out of me, painting my thighs with a deep warmth that was astounding.
I squeezed my eyes shut as my entire frame trembled. My muscles seized, tensed, and finally gave out. I fell forwards, collapsing onto the bed in a breathless heap. My lower half practically felt numb and I tried to concentrate on not passing out. It wasn’t just the physical fatigue, the mental and emotional fatigue of the entire day weighed on me in that moment. My few seconds of recuperation was cut short when Johnny pulled his fingers out of me. I felt another gush then, making me a bit confused as to how wet I really was. It definitely felt different and I could hear Johnny make some remark though his words weren’t registering. He said something else and I nodded weakly, agreeing to whatever he had posed just for me to have the ability to relax soon.
But that was definitely wishful thinking. He yanked me almost to the edge of the bed and continued his brutal fucking. I let him grip onto the back of my thighs as he huffed out growls and moans. He was swelling inside me, making me wince yet encourage him with mumbles that I thought were words. His fingertips dug into me harder and that sweet heat spread throughout my body again. I smiled and relished in the feeling of him pumping into me, slower and slower, until he milked himself completely. I laid there, unmoving and enjoying the way he felt inside me like I always did until I i lost myself in sleep.
–*
Johnny’s POV
I felt her move beneath me and there was a stickiness and sweatiness between us. I groaned as I didn’t really want to move but I needed to break away and get some air. My hand was over hers, my body curled around her, and my cock of course still inside her. It was almost perfect save for the giant wet spot we were forced to lay in because she squirted everywhere. We had both fallen asleep almost immediately after and i just adjusted her in the bed for me to have enough room to spoon her. Now everything made me feel like I needed an hour long shower. I rolled away, letting go of her hand and putting my forearm over my eyes to block out the bright light of the room. How long were we even asleep for?
She mumbled something and groaned, blinking a few times before fully looking at me. “Hey.” She sounded like she had smoked 2 packs of cigarettes a day for the past 40 years and I cringed at my handiwork. She tried clearing her throat but opted that it was too sore and winced in pain.
“Hey…maybe you shouldn’t talk…” She glared at me and I shuffled a bit away so she wouldn’t attack me.
“I feel gross. Why is everything wet? What happened?”
“What do you mean what happened? We fucked?”
“No, no, I know that. But I was so tired at the end-” She paused to rub at her throat. “I felt like half asleep. It was good though but I was worn out.” She laughed softly.
“Well, you’re welcome for that but like…do you even remember your orgasm?”
She nodded quickly, her smile beaming. “Oh yeah.”
“You squirted everywhere and basically we’ve been laying in the soaked sheets because we’re dumb as fuck.”
“Wait…squirted? No, i can’t do that. I’ve never done that.”
“What do you mean you cant do that? You literally did. Twice. The first time when you had your big one and then when i pulled my fingers out. It was like…not how they make it out to be in porn. Like not some weird super soaker spray but like-”
She held her hand up to stop me. “Please don’t describe it any further. I just…holy shit.”
I pulled out of her slowly, never getting used to that amazing feeling. It got me every time. It also sent my cum dripping out of her which was almost as good of a sight as her squirting. “Fuck…”
She wiggled a bit, a look of discomfort on her face. “What the hell?”
“We’ll now we got my cum on the sheets…” I said, partially annoyed. We really had to get them off this bed.
“DID YOU CUM IN ME AGAIN?!”
Her yelling caught me off guard. “Yes? I asked you this time and you agreed!”
“When?!”
“What do you mean when!?”
“I’m sorry if I was too fucked out and tired to freakin’ listen to you blab during sex! But you can’t be doing that! It freaks me out!!!”
“Hey, i asked to cash in my favor and you definitely said yes so I did it. It is not my fault.” I sat up slowly and inched my way to roll off the bed. “Come on. We need to get these off and I think I’m gonna take a shower.”
“Aren’t you worried at all?” She said softly.
“Me? Not really. I told you it’ll be alright. We’ve got everything covered.” It was a lie but I was blinded by how good it felt sexually and I also didn’t want to make her panic more than she already was. I told myself I’d stop after this one last time and not risk it anymore. She didn’t move and I could tell she was overthinking again. I went over to her and scooped her into my arms, holding her bridal style. “I’ll have you get the shower started while I take care of the bed. She held onto my neck and buried her face in my chest as I walked her into the bathroom, gently setting her down in the tub. “You ok?”
“Y-yeah…” She reached up and pulled me in for a kiss that I held for a long time. It wasn’t deep or passionate but more so intimate and warm. I sighed and cupped her face.
“Go, ok? I’ll be right back.”
I pulled away from her which seemed to be getting harder and harder each time. Even if it was just back into the room it felt like a million miles away. I tore off the soaked sheets, glad that the comforter was still mostly dry, and tossed them in the corner of the room. I said a silent apology to housekeeping and hoped to all hell they wouldn’t look at it directly when they put it in the wash. I padded back to the bathroom and slipped in behind her.
“Turn around.” She said and I gave her a questioning look. She sucked her teeth. “I was just about to get the…stuff out.”
“Eri, i’ve literally seen you every which way. Do you really think I care how you look getting my cum out of you?”
“JUST DO IT.”
I sighed and turned around, picking up the little motel bar of soap and ripping off the plastic. I waited for her to finish, getting impatient about being in the cold spot. “Dude, hurry up.”
“THERE IS A LOT OK? You don’t cum like a normal human being!”
“Apparently neither do you, Splash Mountain.”
‘OH MY GOD. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP.”
I snorted and looked back at her. “Can I please get under the water now? I’m freezing.”
She switched spots with me and I finally got under the hot stream, thankful to wash away a whole nights worth of sex. My time under the stream by myself didn’t last long as Eri snuggled up next to me, her hair a soaking mess of waves that framed her face and made her look like a painting of a goddess. “Too cold. I want to be next to you.”
“You big baby.” I joked and ruffled her hair. She pouted and poked at my stomach making me squirm away. Our antics made our shower way more fun than it should’ve been, mimicking the perfect time we had in the tub before I freaked out on her. It was almost like a do over and I was appreciative of that fact. Once we were done and dried we curled up, facing one another, under the comforter. And although we were both fatigued, we stood up for hours talking about shit I never even dreamed about knowing about her. By the time the sun rose I was able to realize that one thing was for sure. I was in love with her.
–
We thought everything would be fine after that, and it was between us, but on Eri’s side things seemed to hit the fan one after the other. Their grandpa, who was back on the island they were from, fell ill. Their mother didn’t let them have a say in anything and whisked them away, making them leave school and work behind. There was a looming threat that they could be fired or even lose their financial aid which worried them just as much as their grandpa’s health. Each night they were gone we would facetime just so I could see them. I missed having them beside me whenever I wanted and it wasn’t even about the sex anymore. I genuinely found that I liked talking to them. There was never any judgement and I started to understand why certain things were important to them. Now I had to be there for them and help them stay strong even though I knew they were crumbling.
I was laying on my side, my phone propped against the wall, as I watched them cry. There wasn’t much I could do, or even say, at this point but i remained on the video. They apologized over and over for crying so much but i reassured them that I didn’t care. They let me know that it was okay when I cried and I wanted them to know the same. “I miss you..” They hiccuped.
I sniffed and cleared my throat, swallowing my own emotions. “I miss you too…you know you have to be there. It’s going to be okay.”
“He’s gonna die Johnny. I know it. I visited him today at the hospital and my mom and my aunts just keep putting this weird bandaid on it. They keep thinking he’s going to bounce back and be able to take care of the house and my grandma and he wont. He literally wont. I don’t know why they won’t just fuckin’ say it.”
“They’re scared, Eri. They’re losing one of their parents. It’s always going to be scary.”
“I know that but I hate being the only fucking rational one here. It’s driving me insane. Just look at him and say he’s going to die! He’s just going to die, Johnny. He’s going to…” They burst into another round of tears and buried their face into a pillow, muffling the heart wrenching sobs. I wish I could be there. I wish I could hold them so fucking tight and never let them go. It hurt me to see them like this.
“Baby, look at me, ok?” They moved their head up and wiped at their eyes. “When you come back here, i’ll be here for you ok? It’s going to be hard but I’ll help you get through this. And so will Quinn and stupid ass Lucas and all your other friends.”
I finally saw them crack a small smile which made me feel a little better. “I know…I-” Suddenly, someone burst into their room. I couldn’t make out who it was exactly as the video started to pixelate. They had a conversation that I couldn’t understand but seemed stressed. They grabbed their phone and finally the video came back into view. “I have to go. I-I’ll talk to you later, ok?!” Before I could even respond the video was cut off and I had my own disturbance burst into my room. I shot up in bed, looking at Jae who seemed to be distressed. Great, was everyone around me having issues at once?
“Dude, what the-” He held his cell phone out in his shaking hand and I could see a call from an unknown number going on. “What?” I asked, still confused.
“Talk. Talk now.” was all he said.
I took the phone tentatively and held it to my ear. My body went into shock as soon as I heard the voice that had haunted me for weeks on end. The voice that made my skin crawl and make me want to vomit. What she said next drenched my blood run cold.
“Johnny, I’m pregnant.”
#johnny#johnny fanfic#johnny smut#johnny suh#johnny seo#nct#nct 127 fanfic#johnny nct#nct 127 fanfiction#nct 127#nct smut#nct 127 smut
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Loki x reader
Prompt: Person A laughing and joking through the horribly traumatic story of how they got one of their scars. Person A stops suddenly when they see the reaction of tears leaking out of Person B's eyes.
Content: ouch and fluff.
Word count: 2261
Alternate Universe where there was another Hydra experiment before the Maximoff twins and Loki had come with Thor to help defeat Ultron.
Author's Note: this is my first try at something like this. Constructive criticism is more than welcome, and please try not to leave hate Haha. If you like it, be expressive about it and reblog!
So here goes...
It had been a couple of months since the whole incident at Sokovia had happened, and a couple of months since I had found the Avengers. I was one of the initial experimental subjects at a secret Hydra base that shut down soon after several failed attempts at making something out of willing, or sometimes unwilling, human subjects. The tests performed on me had failed a little too badly which led to the shutting down of the whole base. They shifted to somewhere else where they continued their research and experimentation and two of their last remaining subjects turned out to be a success – the Maximoff twins. After being left to die in the Hydra laboratory, everyone had fled the scene. Everyone who was alive anyway. The sceptre's powers and myself did not go along so well, it seemed. Feeding the radiations of the scepter into me did not get any immediate results, except for a pounding head and throbbing veins. It was as if my body was absorbing as much energy of the scepter as it could. But upon continued exposure to the radiation, my body could not take it anymore. A ringing sound screeched in my ears and I blacked out. When I woke up, the facility was empty except for the dead bodies of two guards and one scientist who were in the room behind the glass window.
I was not a willing subject. I was taken against my will and forced down onto the stretcher with my limbs bound till I stopped thrashing about. Turns out, the scepter did not kill me instead it granted me superhuman abilities instead. I was able to absorb other people's energies temporarily and store it in myself only to use it later as my own. I was found by SHIELD and they sent me to help the Avengers take down Ultron. Absorbing the powers of Wanda and Vision, I helped defeat the robot army. Since then, I've been living at the Avengers Base with Tony and the others. I wouldn't consider myself a Avenger, but surely I was an ally (With no other roof to sleep under.)
I didnt speak much to anyone. I liked to keep to myself as much as I could. I preferred to linger by the shadows and listen more than I liked to talk. I was observant, picking up on people's energies and moods and weaknesses and strengths with the gears in my mind turning at all times, thinking about one thing or the other. No one really paid me a lot of unnecessary attention and they gave me my space. I was thankful for the lack of interference.
Except one person. There was only one person in the building who I would catch looking at me when I had something especially demanding going on in my head. He would look at me with a sort of gaze that made it seem like he knew exactly what I was thinking. Loki. The God of mischief. Another outcast who had recently earned his place in this building as an ally. He was usually a very chatty person; manipulative and flirtatious, always two steps ahead of you. But it seemed to me that he had come to care for the Avengers and didn't busy himself with plotting everyone's death. He was the only one who paid me so much attention. Whenever I was up late at night, staring out the floor to ceiling glass window, he was somehow awake too. On some nights he would just come and stand next to me, and on the others, he would strike up a conversation. Initially the conversations died down easily with neither of us having a lot to talk about, but recently talk started flowing between us like a babbling brook. We started to sit by the window every night after everyone fell asleep, talking or enjoying the silence. He would ask questions about me to keep me talking on nights when he somehow understood my mind was spiralling into a dark place. I started to answer and eventually, I let him in. The night time was our time when we would sit and enjoy each other's company and he would sometimes make me a steaming cup of tea. During the day, around everyone, we did not go back to acting like strangers. We talked and chuckles passed even in the presence of others and I started getting more involved with the rest of the people too. I still mostly liked keeping to myself though.
On one such night, I was sitting with my knees bent and my hands loosely wrapped around them, my side pressed to the glass window, and Loki was sitting in front of me, with his back to the glass, legs outstretched in front of him, crossed at the ankles. He had his eyes closed but I knew he wasn't sleeping. He seemed to be in a particularly quiet and somber mood that day so I probed him. I said, "Hey?" He replied without opening his eyes, "hmm?" "You know everything about my past, about my family - or lack thereof - and where I come from and what happened to me... but I dont know much about you. Except that you're an Odinson. God of Mischief. Rightful king of Jotunheim. And you tried to take over New York."
He opened his eyes lazily and gave me a sidelong glance before shutting them again. "Ask away, human. What do you want to know?"
"Tell me about your childhood, " I said and noticed the tick in his jaw. He eased up quickly though and took a deep breath, opening his eyes completely now. "Hmm.. well.. there isn't much to talk about. Asgard loved me for I was a rather cute little boy. Thor and I used to compete a lot in sword dueling and racing and the likes and he used to win almost every time, except the times I cheated." He let out a breathy chuckle which I mimicked. "Uh.. what else is there. Well, there's the time when Odin took us to watch a play on my birthday and Thor accidentally set the stage on fire. Oh, and that one time," he turned his body slightly to face me with a glint in his eyes, "I disguised as a snake and stabbed thor after he picked me up in a fit of rage when we were 8." He smiled proudly and waited for a reaction.
My eyes slowly widened and my mouth fell open slightly before I exclaimed, "you did WHAT?! Why did you stab him? You'll were kids, jeez, what kind of rage overtook you?" His smile turned sheepish and he slowly slithered back to his original position. He hesitated and licked his lips before saying, "Well. I was jealous. He had won another wrestling match and Odin was so proud of him that he didnt care about the very realistic dragon I could summon with my powers." He lazily moved his right hand through the air and a green translucent figure of a miniature dragon appeared. He lowered his hand but the dragon slithered around and breathed green fire before fading away into nothing. It was like a holographic projection. "It was an achievement for me then. It was the first real figure I could conjure and it was huge. Mother was proud of me and I was so eager to see the same look in Odin's eyes, but he just couldn't care. Thor had won another one of his wrestling matches and Odin was so so proud of him, as If that wasn't something everyone saw every other day." He chuckled and ducked his head. "When I tried to grab his attention again, Odin sent me back to my room after belittling me in front of his councilmen and Thor and telling me how little I had accomplished; how little what I had done meant. I cried myself to sleep that night." Loki's shoulders shook with laughter as he said the last part. He took another moment to stop his silent fit of chuckles before continuing. "I.. I didn't like that I cried. I didn't like that I felt weak and unwanted. I didn't like that Thor got all the praise while all I got was negligence. I blamed Thor. In my rage, and as a prank, the next day I stabbed him. Of course I didn't know I was adopted then. Things add up now." He shrugged.
He had a facade of nonchalance up, a guard of laughter. But I could see by the way his chin was dipped and his eyes trained on his twiddling fingers that it was a sensitive topic. My eyes pricked with tears as I imagined a young Loki, trying so hard to make his father proud but failing everytime. A young Loki being pushed into the shadows of his brother time and again by their very own father. A young Loki being denied the praise and pat on the back he deserved and instead being met with insults. I could bet my pinky that that wasn't the only time Odin proved to be an incompetent and biased father.
"That was the first time I stabbed Thor." He chucked, "Of course it didn't lead to the demise of the God of thunder but it helped release some of my stupid anger." He laughed and said, "it wasn't the last time I stabbed him either."
He turned to look at me, the laugh still on his lips when he drew up short. I was looking at him intently and I knew he could see the tears pooling in my eyes. Every hint of amusement vanished from his lips and his eyebrows slightly pinched together. "I.. did I say something to offend you, y/n?"
I kept looking at him for a long time, an uninterrupted gaze. But I wasn't entirely seeing him. I was seeing the young, 8 year old Loki who cried himself to sleep at night because his father was an ass. After a long pause I sniffled lightly and whispered, "You deserved better, Loki."
He looked taken aback by what I just said. The frown on his forehead disappeared and his lips parted. He opened his mouth as if to say something but didn't. After a couple moments of searching my eyes for something, he swallowed and said, "That's.. that's the first time anyone has ever said something like that to me.."
My heart twisted in my chest and my throat closed up. A miserable wince came upon my features and a tear leaked out of my right eye. I swallowed around the lump in my throat before speaking. "I wish I had known you when you were little. I wish I had known the eight year old Loki who deserved praise for what he had accomplished. I would've held him and told him that I was so proud of him. I wouldve rocked him in my arms if he couldn't stop crying because of what his father had said to him. I would've let him cry and I wouldve told him that it's okay to cry.. that crying doesnt make us weaker. I would've made sure he fell asleep without a frown on his face. I would've hugged him and kissed his forehead and reminded him again and again that he was loved and wanted and worthy.." Another year ran free and I took in a deep breath. "I would've reminded him that I wanted him.. that I loved him." I felt him, more than I heard him, take in a sharp breath. His eyes were turning glossy but he didn't turn away from me. Somewhere along the line he had turned his body to almost completely face mine and he had scooted closer. Or maybe I had. I don't know.
Neither of us said anything for a while, only looked into each other's eyes as if staring into each other's souls. I let him peer into mine and he let him peer into his. This was the first time I had wanted to say that I loved him but now that I had, I realised It had always been true. I just didnt know what it was that I was feeling. I didnt know that it was not mere friendship. Whatever it was I had treated it gently and preciously, and I was glad for that Because Loki and anything associated with him deserved to be treated with care and fondness. After a couple moments, I said in a voice just above a whisper but clear enough for both of us to understand even around the lump in my throat, "You deserved better."
That seemed to break him out of his trance like state and he slowly blinked twice before turning his head away from me. He looked down into his lap And collected himself. I let him. When he raised his head and looked at me with those piercing eyes of his, I knew more than he could say. He raised his hand and gently laid it on my hand that was still lightly wrapped around my knees. He rubbed the pad of his thumb over my skin and a more-than-welcome shiver spread throughout my body. He said in a meaningful whisper, "I got my better."
And I knew in the way his hand warmed my skin and his eyes spoke to my soul that not only were my feelings respected, but also reciprocated in the most unfiltered and purest form.
#loki#loki fanfic#loki fanfiction#loki (marvel)#loki laufeyson#loki odinson#loki fic#loki x reader#Loki x you#loki x you#marvel#marvel fanfiction#marvel fanfic#fanfiction#fic rec#my fic#shorts#imagines#imagine#mcu#fanfiction is life#fanfiction is valid#thor odinson#thor#avengers#fluff#tears#Loki fluff#loki fluff#i love loki
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tutor au | dance instructor minho
lee minho was the fuckboy of your university
and everybody knew that!!!
except for you (u just thought he was hot <3___<3)
so when you decided you wanted to switch your major to dancing
your best friend woojin was like
“NO!! Y/N WHY WOULD YOU EVEN CONSIDER-?”
and u were like ?? i love to dance ?? let me dance william ??
since you were a first year, you had no idea about any of the students at ur uni or ANYTHING
so you’re all excited the day before your first class and even more excited that a student usually led the class
since teachers gave you big anxiety and it’d probably be easier talking to a Fellow Peer.
u were wrong.
the next day, u were getting ready for class and as usual, woojin stopped by ur dorm with coffee like the perfect angel he is but he was in a Very sour mood that morning
“wake up on the wrong side of the bed, princess?”
“SH- SHUT UP!!! i’m nervous for you today :(“
and ur heart is like :( aw william its ok :( but ur brain was like
“what’s the big idea with this class anyway? why are u so stressed out??”
“minho is the student teacher”
“ok”
“OK!!! SO BE CAREFUL”
and ur like: i’m More than capable of taking care of myself <3 minho ain’t shit
yeah No
when you walked into that class On That Fateful Day.
minho’s eyes were the first ones on you and Boy were you flustered when he smiled at you
and
OH GOD HE’S WALKING TOWARDS U
good luck homie ur gonna need it.
you were so zoned out that when he was like “hey!!!” you didn’t hear him
so like any normal human being, minho yelled a Nice Loud “YAH!” which caught the attention of the whole class including yourself
all the girls were like >:( no Lee Know look at ME!! >:( but he was like
“are you y/n switched majors, right? hope you can keep up.”
minho then moves in front of the class and starts the warm ups
and u were like ??? I DONT KNOW ANY OF THESE ???
so u start stretching the way you normally did at home before you’d dance
which earned you some dirty looks but you didn’t understand Why
to make a long and tiring story short, your first class kicked your ass.
so when you were headed towards the door, you were stopped by None Other Than Lee Minho
“saw you struggling today.”
“yeah, i didn’t know you’d be right in the middle of learning a dance.. i feel so dumb switching majors because criminology was so much easier and i-”
“why don’t you come to the studio tomorrow night? i can help you learn if you want.”
and he was so confident you were going to say yes
because he’s lee minho and nobody really rejects him
but you heard woojins Annoying Ass in the back of your head
so you kindly said no and instead asked for a video of the dance for reference so you could practice later
which he gave you but not without bothering you
“are you sure you don’t want my help tomorrow night?”
“it’s easier with help from a real person, you know.”
“what, you don’t like me?”
you had to admit that saying no to him was Really hard because he was so captivating but you also knew that woojin would have an actual heart attack over you spending time with lee minho at Night.
so when u got home to ur small dorm and made urself some nice cheap chicken flavored ramen, there was BANGING ON UR DOOR and ur like O____O WHO THE FUKC
but don’t worry it’s just woojin <3
but woojin brought his friend w him and was like “hey <3 we were in the neighborhood.”
and u were like Woojin U Live Two Doors Down From Me but his friend was lowkey cute so u just shut up rlly quick ok.
woojin was like >:D this is my friend, CHRIS.
chris was really sweet to u and stuff and woojin was like nudging him the whole time they were over which made u suspicious but you’d bring it up to him later
“so how was your first day of class?”
“GOD SO. i zoned out when i first walked in, you know like how i always zone out, and Lee Minho Walked Up To Me and yelled and got my attention and all the girls in that class were so judgy, woojin i wanted to DIE. and then!!!! after class fucking minho walks up to me and asks if i want to practice with him tomorrow night-”
and woojin cut u off right there and threw himself at ur feet
“PLEASE TELL ME U SAID NO”
“i did.. why?”
chris who was watching you vent about minho in amazement was like
“that’s how he gets you, most girls never actually Practice with him.”
and the dots connected in your head and you were like WOW ARE U KIDDING
you felt really gross after that
why were men so GROSS
“men disgust me… no offense.. or Full Offense if you pick up girls like that..”
chris was like “if it was ME-”
and woojin was like “ME AND CHRIS HAVE TO GO NOW BYE Y/N” and fucking left while chris was mid sentence
so you cleaned up your Tiny dorm and practiced stretching like how they did in the class that day and then watched the video minho gave you to reference which OF COURSE was a video of him dancing
and boy were you fascinated with how good he was
but you got a lot of the dance down that night.
after ur shower u got into ur bed and chris followed u on instagram and u were like
wait.
waaaaaaait.
so ur thumbs went to work texting woojin like “what the fuck”
“did u like chris :D”
“am i that single that u have to set me up with your friends?”
“no.. maybe… he LIKES u…”
“whatever.”
so then you text chris who opens your message immediately and is like
“there’s a party at my frat tomorrow night <3 wanna be my date”
and ur like Not really. but u reply with “sure!!” and ok
wow so u got a date
but u know whos a frat boy?
Lee Know.
but u didnt know that
the next day you didn’t have a lot of work to do so you just!! practiced some more and chilled out until you had to get ready for the ~party~ and it was your first!! university party!! so you went ALL OUT and you looked like a FREAKIN SNACK
and chris was late picking you up but you told him it was okay
and things were fine
but woojin wasn’t there and he was always there whenever you were drinking
like your own lookout and that made you a little hesitant to drink at first but chris Insisted and you gave in
turns out minho was watching the whole scene
yeah okay he had a girl on his arm
but thats another story
it turns out that chris wasn’t as sweet as you thought he was
this became news to minho when his date uttered something like “another day, another helpless girl- that poor thing.”
and minho was like HUH?!!?!?!
and she explained how chris would get girls drunk and take advantage of them
minho didn’t like that
one.
bit.
you were on the verge of being completely wasted when chris asked if he could take you home which you said yes to immediately because you didn’t want to embarrass yourself while being drunk
but as you were being led out of the frat house, minho was leaning against the frame of the entrance
!!!!! wtf RENO?!?!
chris was like -____- what do u want
nd minho was like ? duh im taking y/n home?
u nd chris were like: BITCH- NO.
you don’t remember exactly what happened but the boys exchanged words and before you knew it, you seen chris being tackled to the ground and minho was goin AT IT BRO
and you were like wtf!!!!!!!!!!!
seeing the fight made you sober up a bit and honestly to be honest, minho was losing
w his stupid ass
chris got tired of beating his ASS and stood up, nodded at you and made a gross remark about you before walking away
and minho tried to get up and fight him again but he was WHOOPED
so you let him take you home
and cleaned up his face and knuckles
and made up the couch for him because he was exhausted and you figured he deserved to rest here since he DID stand up for you and save you from god knows what chris was going to do
but he was still minho the fuckboy
and woojin, barging into your dorm at the crack ass of dawn, was VERY unhappy to see mr Lee Know.
“hey y/n i brought coffee- WHAT THE FUCK.”
“morning, princess.”
and u forgot minho was on ur couch until u looked at him sleeping peacefully- nd he looked like a FUCKING ANGEL!!!
you then explained the situation that happened last night and woojin was like “it really be ur own people.”
no but woojin was really upset bc he adored u and didn’t want anything bad to happen to u
and blamed himself for not going to the party w you
your lil moment was interrupted when minho Rose and his shirt? gone!
so there he STOOD in just his sweatpants and man did he look like a SNACK
“am i interrupting something?”
“NO!” u said
“YES!” woojin said
minho jus smirked at u and put his shirt on, meeting ur eyes as u stared
but CAN I BLAME U? NO, HES A SNAKC!!!
anyway minho thanked u for letting you crash there and said he would see u later for class
BECAUSE OYU HAD CLASS!!! WITH MINHO AGAIN TODAY
woojin was like “-____- maybe i should come to class w you”
and u were like “william baby girl,,.. No”
woojin still doesn’t know why you call him william
you drank coffee and spilled tea w your bff as usual
and then it was time to get ready for class
nd woojin chilled on ur bed while u went and showered
in the shower you couldn’t stop thinking ab minho!!!
his stupid pretty eyes nd his stupid pretty EVERYTHING!!
you zoned out and woojin had to yELL to bring u back to earth
anyway you got ready and put a lil bit of effort into ur look! bc u were gonna see minho.. its really gross of u but thats FINE
imagine being a het :/
so class was torture like not as bad as before but it was like minho made things way harder jus to piss you off
after class, he didn’t approach you and you wanted to thank him for the previous night.. you know, sober.
so you walked up to him and he looked a Lil flustered but quickly covered it up and let a look of amusement spread across his features
“miss me already?”
“i just wanted to thank you for last night.. i still don’t know how to like.. show my appreciation!!”
minho was looking at u and u looked like an angel to him and he HATED it.
he had a class full of girls who were basically in Love with him but he was drawn to you only and it made him MAD!!!
“it’s whatever~ don’t worry about it.”
and u were like bet! bye!
and turned around and started to walk away
“wait!”
you spun around and he was Right there
“let me buy you food at least… i seen the lack of it in your dorm.”
the lights in the dance studio were dim and the only light that was coming in through the windows was the dulled brightness of the sun setting
all of the lights and colors hit your face perfectly
what a perfect opportunity, you know?
minho leaned in and before you knew it, you were leaning in too.
it was like you were both sent into a frenzy when your lips met each other
but nothing went too far because when minho tried to reach up your shirt
woojin barged into the studio and was like >:(!!!!!
but the three of u laughed it off nd yea!
btw woojin is so gay, but every1 thinks ur the love of his life
and u ARE!!
platonically
but romantically? woojin has a bf
and now so do u!!
nd yea everyone was doubtful bc it was Minho.. the FUCKBOY OF UR UNI
but you made him big happy!!! and he helped you dance
and fed you whenever you were hungry
and rarely ever slept at the frat house since he was always in your bed
every single night
clinging to u
its so CUTE!!
im happy for u <3
#lee minho#lee know#lee minho imagine#lee know imagine#stray kids au#lee minho x reader#lee know x reader#woojin!!#kim woojin#stray kids x reader#stray kids#tutor au#bang chan#chris bang#christopher bang#i made chris an asshole#im sorry BABY GIRL!!#fuckboy!minho#dance line#stray kids dance line
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Riverdale 3.09 Thoughts *Spoilers*
- Choni ❤️❤️❤️ But “stealing from.the rich to give to, well, us” what? Cheryl… YOU’RE RICH. Give some of the money to the Serpents They need it a bit more than you do baby. BUT BITCH THEIR FIRST I LOVE YOU I’M—
- Five weeks of the quarantine… that would have made an INCREDIBLE story line? Seriously? It would have been amazing to see Sweet Pea being temporary king while Jarghead and FP were gone. But no… let’s just skip the good part? What the fuck kinda writing skips.a great plot?
- “All physical contact must be kept to a minimum?” um… literally WHY? There’s literally NO reason for that to be a rule? Also fuck off Moose no ones likes a tattle tale and we all know that you’re slumming it up with Kevin after school so leave my babies alone. Oh. it’s for the seizures? Really? Dude SEIZURES ARE NOT FUCKING CONTAGIOUS YOU STUPID FUCKERS OH MY GOD. Stop trying to keep then gays from being cute!!!!!!!
- The RROTC made the rules? Dude they don’t run the school lmao that’s NOT HOW THINGS WORK
- JOSIE SINGING!!! MY BABY VERONICA!!! UGH FUCK ME UPPPP
- VEGGIE. VERONICA IS LOOKING AT JOSIE’S INCREDIBLE SINGING WHILE REGGIE IS AWING AT VERONICA I’M—
- Ew and then my mood is ruined by bughead waking up 😷😷😷
- Betty put all of those girl’s… in HER house? THE COOPERS CAN BARELY TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES LET ALONE THOSE GIRLS. Also don’t they fucking have families? And yes, Betty, that scream definitely would wake up your mom because they have those motherly instincts and they’d think their child was hurt, so ofc she’s going to wake up.
- They want to play… G&G… are you kidding me? I kinda get that it makes them feel better because that’s how they had it in SOQM but still WHY? JUST PLAY CLASSICAL MUSIC OR SOMETHING AND TAKE A BATH.
- Of course Jughead goes from his horrible leadership to “I left you too long” stfu right now your priority is the Serpents and who’s dealing the drugs (although I know who and uhhhh leave them alone he has to stay alive somehow)
- They don’t even have an elected Sheriff yet? WHY? SHERIFF KELLER DIDN’T DIE DID HE? THEN FUCKING REINSTATE HIM??? IT’S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD YOU STUPID FUCKS
- “Maybe that means that Archie could come back home” wE KNOW YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HIM BETTY. Barchie!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
- Reggie ❤️❤️❤️ WOAH WHAT NO LEAVE HIM ALONE? HE ALREADY GETS ABUSED BY HIS FATHER! But aw Ronnie gets to take care of him I’m—
- Hiram really is trying to hustle his daughter wow so uhhh he does know that his daughter is the incredible Veronica Lodge, right? She’ll find a way lol we all know the queen can do everything
- “Has anyone ever told you you’re a badass?” Wow Reggie is so fucking into her I’m just 😭😭
- If Vegas gets hurt RAS will LITERALLY DIE. I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AND I’M NOT READY FOR THIS. Also there’s no way Vegas wouldn’t have seen or heard the bear behind him but sure whatever. ARCHIE JUST BC SHE’S ZONING OUT DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN’T HEAR HER. JUST DO WHAT SHE SAYS JESUS. Also how convenient that it suddenly doesn’t work.
- “They imprinted on me” Betty NEVER say that again that was gross as fuck. “But as their queen, they are your responsibility, not mine” bitch Betty can’t be a queen no matter how hard she tries, and she (nor Jughead) know how to take care of anyone but themselves so… Alice unless you want Betty to end up killing them, this is where you, as the mom, undermine her and take them to the farm. Of course I don’t trust the farm but it’s much safer than the Cooper house hold because they have the resources to spare, the Cooper’s don’t.
- Hey here’s an idea… since you can’t get to Hiram using the nuns because they took a vow of silence (cowards) then maybe… just maybe… OUT IT AS A CONVERSION THERAPY HELL SITE AND USE THAT INSTEAD? But we know Betty doesn’t want to save the gays so 😷😷
- I love Josie’s singing but why is she singing in an empty lounge? REST HER VOCALS.
- I used to love Hiram’s evil-ness but now he just shows up all the time and it’s getting annoying. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD END THIS FUCKING PLOT SO VERONICA CAN FOR ONCE GET HER OWN STORY THAT BETTY DOESN’T TAKE, THAT DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND HER FATHER OR A GUY. SERIOUSLY. They have so much potential with literally any other character but still decide to force Bughead and their separate characters down our throats. Like at this point honestly just kill them both off Jesus Christ
- Jughead… this is a gang… they’ve always sold drugs? At least, weed, but still? You have to take into consideration that you were gone, and they were placed under quarantine, and they needed money. You can’t blame any of them for dealing with Hiram you whiny piss baby. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
- God it bothers me that Jarghead is such a lowsy king. When do we get Sweet Pea overthrowing him? pLEASE WE NEED IT SO TONI CAN LEAD BESIDE HIM. Maybe Swangs (even though I know what happens) and Choni can co-lead the Serpents
- Cheryl speaking facts! AND MY BOY FANGS. Jughead had NOTHING to say to Fangs and FP had to step up and cover for Jughead, because he was right. What else are they supposed to do? Gangs are supposed to do bad shit? Jughead has done ultimate horrible shit and suddenly he’s going to act like a gang is supposed to be clean? Jughead do your research that is not what gangs do. Also, if FP is going to be at every fucking Serpent meeting maybe he should, you know, take his spot back. He’s a MUCH better leader than Jughead, even though I’d prefer it be one of the founding members like TONI FUCKING TOPAZ or something.
- I love how no one really does the “in unity there is strength” thing. Like, they know they’re being lead to slaughter basically and FP is just letting it happen. Also, they’re running the gang into the ground. There is no more unity because JUGHEAD’S STUPID POWER-HUNGRY ASS ISN’T DOING SHIT TO HELP THE GANG. Also also Betty looks so out of place and awkward there. Can’t wait for Archie to come back and for her to realize that he almost died and then realize she can’t live without him and that she loves him and finally bughead can split for good and barchie can rise
- If Veronica paid why the FLYING FUCK did they go after Josie? FucK OFF HIRAM
- Polly you had to say his name. LEAVE MY BOY ALONE.
- FANGS CRYING STOP STOP STOP MY BABY BOY NO NO NO
- “We could’ve helped you” JUGHEAD YOU LITERALLY JUST BANNED CRIME. THE SERPENTS HAVE NO MONEY WHAT ELSE WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO? Also they can’t get mad at him bc this was before Jughead got back and did the stupid crime law like a hypocrite
- DUDE FANGS DID THIS BEFORE THE FUCKING RULE YOU STUPID FUCKERS? LIKE??? DO YOU HAVE NO BRAIN CELLS?
- Oh Jughead has one brain cell left? I know he ends up being cancelled but he’s not… yet.
- CHONI BREAKING IN AND STEALING SHIT YES BITCH
- Why is Archie hallucinating playing G&G? Like doesn’t this mean he’s playing by himself? The fuck?
- Dead ass Cassidy telling Archie it sounds like his fault that all that happened, you can tell that this is Archie’s mind because he always blames himself for things that have nothing to do with him. Because we know that it’s definitely NOT his fault. None of it is.
- Cheryl just HAD to kiss the picture
- JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. MY FANFIC IS COMING TO LIFE. JUGHEAD AND THE SERPENTS PROTECTING VERONICA YASSSSSSSSS
- I’m mad that they didn’t have Joaquin not actually die. Like, Sweet Pea and Fangs were close to him? They could have faked his death like what the fuck
- YES WE LOVE AND STAN LAWYER MCCOY
- How did Jughead know that Toni was involved? Cheryl was the only one who left a stupid calling card.
- THE TEARS WELLING IN TONI’S EYES STOP STOP STOP
- But he can’t fucking kick her out she’s literally a legacy. This crusty white boy needs to sit the fuck down
- Okay one, Cheryl why would you bring Fangs back into it? THE FUCK. Also, Jughead you can’t be disappointed in Fangs for telling SP even though you said not to tell anyone—best friend’s never count.
- SWEET PEA STANDING UP. FANGS CRYING. “Some leader you are” YES FANGS WHAT A KING. SWEET PEA BBY OH MY GOD
- “And the rest of us don’t get to go back to Thistlehouse” says the disgusting whiny piss baby who gets to sleep in his girlfriend’s house, in her comfortable bed while his gang lays in cots or some shit in tents. Get off your mighty high horse, Jughead. God, now they’re switching roles… Betty is kinda becoming SLIGHTLY tolerable and now Jughead is being so fucking annoying. Go back to how it was please.
- JERONICA. AND VEGGIE. EXCELLENCE.
- So Archie standing over Hiram and shit was all a fucking dream? Really? COME ON. Lol Hiram has a point though because everyone goes in and tells him their fucking plans. OMG THE CALLBACK TO THE FIRST EPISODE WAS GREAT. CALL BACK TO BARCHIE BEING ENDGAME YESSSS.
- So if Veronica ended up smashing the egg… then fucking give Fangs, Toni, and Cheryl their spots in the Serpents back since it was all for nothing anyways.
- I’m glad Cheryl and Nana Rose are housing some fo the girls but WHAT ABOUT THE SERPENTS YOU GUYS HAVE A BIG FUCKING HOUSE. Why didn’t she house some of them there? I mean it’s ooc for Toni not to be thinking of her fellow Serpents why wouldn’t she be like “hey babe you have a lot of room here what if we help house some of the Serpents” but uhhh apparently not.
- Hey FP shut the fuck up with this “she’s still a Lodge” shit because you all know she doesn’t associate herself with her parents anymore. Remember “you don’t have a daughter” or…?
- Jughead brought up when FP worked for Hiram. Hell yeah! But him saying he wants Jughead to be a better king than him? BITCH YOUR SON DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO RUN A GANG. HE SUCKS. HE’S STUPID AND RUINING THE GANG HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT? God never give your throne to blood family.
- Yeah, FP, you’re not made for the sidelines you’re made to RULE you stupid fuck. Maybe you should get back with Alice she makes you more stable and less stupid
- REGGIE’S LIKE “NOT THIS TIME BITCH”
- SWEET PEA WITH A BAT FUCK YEAH
- So… you threaten the gargoyle bitch but you don’t unmask him to see who he is? Are you fucking stupid?
- Wtf… he has to beat himself with a bat on his own bed? I am confusion… WHAT THE FLYING FUCK? THE BLACK HOOD AND HIRAM AND THE GARGOYLE KING HAVE DONE SHIT NOT YOU YOU BIG BAFOON. NO DON’T DESTROY YOU’RE GOOD HEARTED INNOCENCE. YOU’RE THE ONLY BRAVE ONE OF THE CORE FOUR. ARCHIE NO.
- If they make Archie unlikable the only good core four person will be Veronica.
- VERONICA SINGING ❤️❤️❤️ Oh fuck I know this song but I can’t remember where I’ve heard it!!!
- VEGGIE. SHE’S SO FUCKING HAPPY TO SEE HIM I’M— HE’S SO ENAMORED WITH HER. VEGGIE KISS. Why can they make their chemistry shown on screen but Bughead can’t? Like both couples are even dating irl, too…
- JUGHEAD YOU PIECE OF SHIT. He only uses Sweet Pea or Fangs when he has something he doesn’t want to do usually because it’s too dangerous for him (whiny piss baby). DON’T MAKE MY BABY BOY GO UNDERCOVER HE’LL FUCKING GET HURT.
- I’ve literally never hated Jughead more nothing he can do can make up for what he’s done in this episode bye
- What the actual fuck. This is so fucking stupid.
- Archie isn’t dead. If Archie dies before bitch ass Betty or Jiggaloo Jones I will literally come after RAS.
#Riverdale#Riverdale 3.09#Riverdale No Exit#Fangs Fogarty#Sweet Pea#Swangs#South Side Serpents#Archie Andrews#Veronica Lodge#Betty Cooper#Jughead Jones#anti-Bughead#Reggie Mantle#Veggie#Regonica#Moose Mason#Kevin Keller#anti-Mevin#anti-Koose#Josie McCoy#anti-Jughead Jones
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