#now i did think of turning this into a mental health 'so u should talk to yourself like you're a cat to boost your ego' sorta thing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kokofromwattpad · 6 months

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hello (●’◡’●)ﾉ Could u do the reader doing a break up prank on the dorm leaders? Twst

(SEMI)HEART ATTACK

Featuring: RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS, LEONA KINGSCHOLAR AND AZUL ASHENGROTTO

Plot: The prefect decides, for some reason or another to prank their boyfriend by breaking up with him. Whether it's for selfish gain or for a reaction, nobody knows.

Tw:fluff, a bit of crying, established relationship, romantic relationship

A/N: I am so fucking sorry for not posting, I have been struggling with my mental health for the past few weeks and interacting with my socials just was not on my priority list. I have been visiting a therapist to help sort through my problems and I hope ya'll understand.

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS:

Riddle layed in the prefect's squeaky bed at Ramshackle dorm. The housewarden was snuggled up and had his arms wrapped around the prefect's waist. The prefect themself rested their head right above Riddle's, giving the boy little kisses every now and then.

The prefect had their old, battered airpods plugged in their ears as they watched magicam videos. As they scrolled, they came across one of those cringy couple accounts where they constantly pulled pranks on one another for views.

In this specific video, it showed a woman pretending to break up with her boyfriend. The boyfriend's reaction was kind of desperate. He begged her not to break up with her but then said that he would let her leave if she really wanted to break up with him.

This video got the cogs in prefect's brain turning. What would Riddle's reaction be? Would he scream angrily and smash all of their belongings? Would he start crying and begging for them not to break up with him? Would he go stoic and completely cut them out of his life? Honestly, the prefect was kinda worried.

But for the sake of their curiosity, the prefect plucked up the courage to gently tap Riddle on his back, silently asking him to look at them. Riddle turned his head up to see their eyes. And by the seven, was he adorable. If the prefect didn't previously know him as the cold-hearted queen of heartslabyul, they would have thought that he was just an innocent boy with a lot of love in his heart.

"Yes darling?" Riddle gently asked with a slight glimmer-y look in his eyes.

"Can I talk to you about something?" The prefect nervously asked, trying to keep their facade up.

"Anthing you want"

"I think we should take a break from each other"

The silence in the room was almost deafening. Riddle's eyes widened with shock. What the hell did they mean by that? Did they want to break up with him? Why? Was he unconsciously going back to his old, hot-tempered self? Is that why they want to leave him?

Riddle looked down from their (perhaps) lover. He was trying so hard not to start tearing up. After the prefect heard the first sob escape his trembling lips, they scooped him up tighter in their arms and started apologizing profusely.

In between sobs and soothing whispers, a mumbly "You're not breaking up with me?"

The prefect softly kissed Riddle's lips and said with no uncertainty,

"Never."

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR:

It was one of those warm spring days, where all you want to do is curl up and forget about all of your problems. And it seemed like Leona was taking every opportunity to do just that.

Professor Crewel had asked the prefect to wake up and bring back Leona to continue the rest of his classes. The moment the beastman's name left the professor's lips, the prefect knew that the prince was going to be a pain in the ass to deal with.(affectionate)

So off the prefect went, to whisk their housewarden boyfriend back to class so that he could actually pass the year.

The prefect went to their and Leona's usual napping place in the greenhouse first to see if he was there. Lo and behold, there was the prince, conked out and snoring like a middle aged man.

"Leona! Darling! Love of my life! Pookie wookie!" yelled the prefect, trying to gain the prince's attention.

Leona just grumbled angrily, flicking his tail and turned to his side to try and block out their lover's loud voice.

The prefect got close to Leona's sleeping face and leanded, "Leona, I think we should take a break from each other."

The prince snapped his head up at his lover's words. What the hell did they mean take a break? As in break up? Hell no! Absolutely not! You're his lover! His forever! His break from reality! You can't just leave him!

Leona sat up from his laying position and stared at the prefect right into their eyes. Dammit they pretty eyes.

"That's not gonna happen. Nuh uh." Leona spat out as he grabbed onto the prefect's wrist.

"If you truley want to stay with me, get up and follow me."

Immediately, Leona jumped onto his feet and wrapped one of his arms around his lover's shoulder.

Before Leona knew it, he was back in class with an odd, dazed look on his face.

You almost broke up with him for not going to class.

AZUL ASHENGROTTO:

The prefect had a test coming up that would depend if they would pass or fail the subject therefore depending if they would have to redo a year or not.

So obviously, the most logical solution was to call up their very nice, adorable, kind and caring boyfriend.

"No."

What did he mean no?

Azul smirks at his lover's surprised face. Aren't they so adorable when they're stunned? Oh, he could just pinch your cheeks!

A 'huh' slipped out of the prefect's lips. They were utterly surprised. They honestly thought that Azul would help them! I mean! This test was going to determine if they had to redo a year! If they fail this, Azul would have already graduated by the time of their third year anniversary.

Azul, the smug bastard, was smirking wickedly at his lover's spiral. He was going to strike a deal with them. If he helps them study, they will repay him by doing a small performance in the mostro lounge as entertainment for his guests.

However, this was not the first time Azul tried to strike this deal with his lover. Oh no! He's done this over six times already in the past. So, the prefect already assumed that the next words coming out of Azul's mouth would be his deal.

And so, before the merman could get a word out, the prefect exclaimed in false anger, "That's it! We're over!"

And with that, they stormed out of Azul's office with a little pep in their step.

Azul was absolutely stunned from their action. Is he single now? No, no.... that can't be! How could his lovely prefect breakup with him?!

Azul jumped from his armchair and rushed after his (ex) lover. He ran and ran until he saw the back of the prefects head.

"Sweetheart, please, it was just a joke. I-I never meant to hurt you. Please don't breakup with me." Azul cried out.

It sounded as if he was about to cry. Tears already brimming the bottom of his eyelid.

The prefect smiled gently and turned to cup Azul's cheeks into their hands.

"Help me study for this test and I'll take you back."

Azul was shocked to say the least, but he chuckled and agreed to his lover's words.

#twisted wonderland #twst #kokowrites #kokoscenarios #kokofluff #riddle #riddle rosehearts #riddle x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #leona #leona kingscholar #leona x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #azul #azul ashengrotto #azul x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader

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maochira · 11 months

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omg i just saw ur chris comforting the reader after a mental breakdown post! do u think u can do that again but with bigbro!karasu? thank uuu 🫶🤍🤍🤍

I've done two similar things with Karasu already (comfort after a bad day and anxiety attack comfort) but I can do this as well!

Requests open! - masterlist

Synopsis: Since Karasu went to Blue Lock, you started feeling lonely and now you even had a falling out with your friends, leaving you completely alone. Luckily, your brother returns just in time to comfort you.

Tags: gn!younger sibling!reader, slightly overprotective big brother!Karasu, comfort

Ever since Karasu left to go to Blue Lock, home started feeling empty. Your parents work a lot so you're alone most of the time. For a while, you were able to find distraction by keeping yourself busy or meeting up with friends. The latter thing just hasn't been possible lately.

Last week, your friend group had a massive falling out and you just can't help but feel like it's all your fault. Without anyone to talk to about it, it's been eating you up from the inside. Usually, you'd talk to your brother about things like this but even though he has his phone in Blue Lock back by now, he's busy most of the time and there's no way to properly tell him about what's on your mind.

Watching him play on the Blue Lock Eleven team was amazing and you were happy to see him again, but as soon as you were back home you started feeling awful because you just miss him being around. As much as he teases and bullies you all the time, he does it with love and that's exactly what you miss.

Since that day, you haven't gone to school because your mental health has been declining more and more and by now you're just lacking the energy to leave the house. It's not just because you miss Karasu, but also because your previous friends started contacting you again and put more guilt on you than you already felt. It just became too much.

A few minutes ago, you finally managed to find the strength to block them. It's something you should have done way earlier, but something in you had hopes that everything will go back to how it was before if you apologize enough - even for things that aren't your fault at all.

While you're crying on your bed you can hear the front door open. It's a bit too early for one of your parents to return from work, but you just shrug it off.

You're still lost in your thoughts, so you only realize your brother is back at home when he knocks at your door. You know the way his knocking sounds compared to your parents' very well.

"Nii-san?" You turn your head to the door and seconds later, Karasu opens it. You haven't called him Nii-san in a very long time. At some point, you just started calling him Tabi-nii or Tabito, but Nii-san feels more fitting right now. "You're back?"

Karasu doesn't answer, and instead he quickly shows concern and sits down next to you. "You were crying?" He grabs both of your shoulders to pull you closer to himself. "What's wrong?"

"I just missed you a lot..." You tell him half of the truth. "It's been lonely without you..."

Your big brother immediately pulls you into a tight hug. He doesn't speak yet, it always takes him a while to find the right words to comfort you. Instead, his arms only tighten around your body.

"I missed you a lot as well. But did you miss me so bad that it made you cry?" Karasu says while he realizes he's been hugging you a little too tight. "Come on, you're not that much of a sensitive crybaby." He lets out a little chuckle, hoping to cheer you up a bit. He always tries to leave teasing out when he comforts you, but he can't hold himself back most of the time. It's just his love language.

"It's not just that... Some stuff has happened with my friends and-"

Karasu quickly interrupts you as soon as you mention your (not anymore) friends. "Those 'friends' who I've always said are too mediocre to deserve being your friends? I don't wanna say I told you they're bad for you but... I mean, I told you they're bad for you."

"I'm sorry I just-" You stop your own sentence because you quickly notice you don't actually have anything else to say. You just feel bad for not listening to your brother's advice.

"Don't apologize for that," Karasu pulls away from the hug so he can look into your eyes, "Now tell me what those pieces of shit did so I can make them regret it."

Taglist (sign-up link): @starhrtz, @kaineedstherapy12, @zyuuuu, @yerinsshi, @luvcalico, @truegoist, @vanitasbrainrot, @deerangle3, @toruden, @keiidaydreams

#💟 maochira writes #bllk #blue lock #bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #bllk x you #blue lock x you #tabito karasu #karasu tabito #blue lock karasu #bllk karasu #karasu x reader #karasu x you #tabito karasu x reader #tabito karasu x you

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btsqualityy · 1 year

Text

Y.O.U (Years of Us), Chapter 3: Maybe what she thought they had shared wasn’t real.

Jimin x half black/half Korean OC

Genre/Rating: 21+, established relationship, idol!AU, smut, angst, and fluff

Summary: Kamaria does an in depth interview and reflects on how she found out about Jimin’s sudden marriage.

Warnings: Brief mentions of addiction and mental health issues.

WC: 3.4K

Song Of The Chapter: SZA- I Hate U

“Does this dress make me look like a whore?” Kamaria wondered as she stood in front of the full length mirror that was placed in her dressing room, holding her hands out at her sides as she turned back and forth in a gold colored dress.

“Yes but if it makes you feel better, you look like an expensive whore,” Nari smiled but Kamaria just groaned loudly before storming back into the bathroom where a rack of clothing options had been set aside for her by her stylist, Baram. “You know, I really think you need to calm down. Relax.”

“You know how Korean media can be,” Kamaria shouted from the opposite side of the bathroom door as she peeled the dress off of her body. “They talk enough shit about me as is. I don’t need any bullshit.”

“It’s not as if it would be your fault if you did get any.”

“Yeah but they’d spin it to make it look like it was my fault,” she huffed. “Blue pantsuit or cream sleeveless dress?”

“Go with the cream,” Nari advised. “It’ll look great with your skin tone.” Kamaria grabbed the dress and slipped it on, emerging from the bathroom a few minutes later to a round of applause from her best friend. “Gorgeous.”

“Thanks,” Kamaria smiled as she walked over to the vanity, picking out a few gold rings to slip onto her fingers. “How much time do we have?”

“5 minutes, Minali-ssi,” a sudden knock on the door sounded.

“Ok!” Nari replied. “5 minutes.”

“Thanks,” Kamaria laughed and after taking one last glance in the mirror, the two of them walked out of the dressing room and down the hall to the set. Since it was Kamaria’s first interview in almost two years, no expense had been spared and Kamaria could tell as much when she saw the set.

There were two large, cushy chairs right next to each other while the background of the set was designed to look like a comfortable living room setting. If it weren’t for the amount of cameras and lights surrounding it, it could almost pass for the real thing.

“Hello,” Kamaria greeted the members of the crew in Korean, bowing towards them respectfully. As she did so, the woman that would be interviewing her, Park Ji-yoon, approached her.

“Minali-ssi!” She exclaimed, grasping onto Kamaria’s hands and squeezing them tightly. “It’s been too long!”

“It has,” Kamaria smiled brightly. “How are you? How’s Dong Seok-ssi and the kids?”

“They’re great, all healthy,” Ji-yoon replied. “Are you ready for this?”

“I am but I’m a little nervous.”

“Ah, no need to be!” Ji-yoon assured her. “Fair warning though, I do have to ask the tough questions because that’s what my superiors want but if something truly makes you uncomfortable, you tell me and I’ll figure out an excuse to make sure that it gets cut out in post production.”

“I should be fine,” Kamaria said. “I have nothing to hide anyways so I’ll just be honest. Probably a little too honest.”

“Just like your mother,” Ji-yoon chuckled. “Well, let’s go on set and get comfortable.”

“Ok,” Kamaria agreed, allowing Ji-yoon to lead her up onto the stage before they both took their seats. After the crew made sure that everything was correct and the make up crew had done their last minute touch ups, the director commenced the count down before filming commenced.

“Good evening,” Ji-yoon smiled at the camera. “Tonight, I am having a one on one interview with the multi-talented powerhouse idol, Choi Minali! Minali, it’s a pleasure to have you.”

“It’s a pleasure to be here,” Kamaria smiled, bowing from the waist up before crossing one of her legs over the other. “Thank you for having me.”

“Now, before we get into the nitty gritty, let’s talk about your name,” Ji-yoon began. “You release music under a mononym, Kamaria which is also your given English name but you tend to introduce yourself in Korean as Minali. Would you like to talk about that?”

“As I’m sure most people are aware, my father is American and my mother was Korean so I, as well as my older sister, have both a Korean name and an English name. When I’m here in Seoul, it’s just easier for me to use Minali and that’s the name that my Korean side of the family uses anyways,” Kamaria explained. “As for Kamaria, I use that professionally because I felt it was a way for me to keep in touch with my roots on my Black side.”

“You also lived in the States for a period of time as well too, right?”

“Yeah, for about 10 years,” Kamaria confirmed. “I would come back and visit my mom’s side of the family every summer though.”

“So you’ve really had the best of both worlds and cultures.”

“That’s how I like to think of it,” she nodded with a smile.

“Well, let’s get into the main reason for your visit today,” Ji-yoon continued on. “You are the lead female star in the upcoming film ‘Taming’, set to premiere in two weeks’ time. Do you want to tell us about it?”

“I’m staring opposite Park Bo-gum and the film is about two individuals in the entertainment industry who want to be together but keep getting conflict from their jobs,” Kamaria expounded. “It’s a love story but I also think it’s a coming of age film as well, since it explores themes such as finding your identity and coming to terms with what one really wants in life.”

“Which is something that I’m sure every twenty something young adult can relate to,” Ji-yoon said.

“Absolutely,” Kamaria agreed. “I’ll be 29 this year and I still often feel like I’m just trying to figure it all out.”

“I imagine the professional side of your life doesn’t leave much to be desired though,” Ji-yoon smiled. “I mean, you have four highly successful albums, the latest of which is Grammy nominated. All four albums topped the music charts here in South Korea as well as around the world, you have five daesangs, you’re MAMA’s Best Female Artist for the last four years running. I mean, need I say more? You are fantastic.”

“I appreciate it but I can’t take all the credit,” Kamaria rebutted. “It was a gift that I was given and all I’ve ever wanted to do was put it back out into the world.”

“You know, you sound like your mother when you say that,” Ji-yoon mentioned. “When i interviewed Choi Sora, many years ago, she said something very similar. Is that where you got this mindset from?”

“I would think so, yes.”

“This year will mark the 20th year since her tragic passing,” she continued. “What are some of your favorite memories of her?”

“Definitely when she would sing me to seep,” Kamaria smiled at the thought. “She had this thing where she’d make up songs on the spot and the lyrics would be the most ridiculous things ever. I’d crack up laughing which would then make her crack up laughing and we’d end up just giggling together. Then she’d brush my curls out of my face and say ‘sleep well, my little love’. Yeah.”

“I haven’t lost a parent but I can imagine that it’s a pain that never goes away,” Ji-yoon murmured, grabbing a box of tissues from next to her and extending it to Kamaria, who smiled thankfully and grabbed a few sheets before gently pressing them to the inner corners of her eyes.

“It doesn’t, especially since I was only 8 when she passed,” she added. “It never quite hits me until I talk about her though.”

“How do you think your legacy intermingles with hers?”

“Aside from me obviously being her daughter, I like to think that I’m doing all of the things that she didn’t get the chance to,” Kamaria answered. “She was only 33 when she passed so there’s a lot that I know she wanted to do that she didn’t have time to. However, in the 15 year career that she did get to have, her creativity knew no bounds and she was never afraid to take risks. That’s something that I hope to emulate in my own career, as well as being an artist that people can relate to. You know?”

“Perfectly explained,” Ji-yoon approved with a grin. “Last thing on your mother, the fifth annual benefit concert for the Choi Sora Foundation for Mental Health and Addiction is coming up. Would you like to talk about that?”

“Yes,” Kamaria smiled. “The Choi Sora Foundation was founded by my father, Quincy Jacobs, my sister Choi Shin-hye, and myself in tribute to my mother. She suffered from not only addiction but mental health problems as well and what my family and I found was that often times, the two of those go hand in hand. Therefore, the mission of the Foundation is to provide counseling for people struggling with addiction and/or mental health issues as well as counseling for their families, rehab services free of charge, and any other resources that may be needed in order to support people in their sobriety journeys thereafter.”

“Very selfless of you all, to use your pain to help others.”

“Well, my family and I feel very strongly that if mental health were more thoroughly understood and taken seriously, then there’s a good chance my mother would still be here today,” Kamaria revealed. “So if we can prevent that happening from another family, we’ll try.”

“And the concert?”

“The concert is how we raise the funds for the foundation,” Kamaria elaborated. “Every year, idols and other members of the entertainment industry come out, free of charge, and lend their star power to our cause. Even though it’s still a few months away from now, I’m very excited about our lineup of performers so far which includes BoA, who’s also my god mother and my mother’s best friend, Taeyeon, Key, Taemin, RM, Suga, Jungkook, PSY, and many others.”

“That sounds absolutely amazing and I send you all of my best wishes for it to be successful,” Ji-yoon smiled. “Moving on, I’d like to ask about your personal life now, if that’s ok.”

“Go ahead.”

“Ae you currently dating anyone?”

“I am not,” Kamaria revealed. “The only relationship I’m in right now is with my career.”

“Would you like to be, at some point?” Ji-yoon wondered. “And maybe start a family?”

“I would and I’d love to have kids eventually,” Kamaria confirmed. “I’m not rushing anything, though.”

“I'm asking this because going back to when you discussed the upcoming lineup for the benefit concert, I noticed that one name in particular was left out,” Ji-yoon pointed out. “Park Jimin.”

“Oh shit,” Kamaria thought to herself.

“For a long time, there were rumors abounding that the two of you were in a committed relationship. However, the two of you have not been seen together in public in six months,” Ji-yoon finished.

“Well, Jimin and I are just friends,” Kamaria stated firmly. “We’ve never been in a relationship. As for not being seen together, we’re both very lucky in the sense that all of our endeavors have been successful so I’ve been busy working on the film and he’s working on his latest album. We’re still close though.”

“Does your distance have anything to do with Kim Hye-ja?” Ji-yoon questioned directly.

“Of course not.” Yes.

“Around the time that reports of Jimin and Hye-ja’s surprise marriage broke, there were simultaneous reports of you sobbing and being uncontrollably upset upon hearing the news,” Ji-yoon brought up.

What the actual fuck?

.............................................................

3 Months Ago

Kamaria was on set of ‘Taming’, sitting on the couch in her trailer as she went over her lines for one of her final scenes. As she did so, a short knock sounded on the door before it was pulled open and Nari stepped inside.

“Hey,” Kamaria smiled at the sight of her best friend. “Are they almost ready on set?”

“Uh, no, not yet,” Nari replied as she stepped over to the small couch before sitting down next to Kamaria.

“You know we’re filming the scene where Doyoung leaves Chaewon as the final one?” Kamaria wondered. “I see why they saved it for last though, since it’s the breakup after everything they’ve been through.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Hopefully, I’ll be able to cry and I won’t have to use the fake tears,” she giggled but when Nari didn’t respond, Kamaria looked up and raised her brow at her. “What’s wrong?”

“I, I have to tell you something,” Nari said. “And I want to tell you because I don’t want you to find out how everyone else is finding out.”

“It’s not my Daddy, is it?” Kamaria gasped. “Or my sister?”

“No no, Quincy and Shin-hye are fine,” Nari assured her. “It’s Jimin.”

“Is he hurt?” Kamaria and Jimin had only been broken up for two months and she would’ve felt so guilty if something had happened to him when they weren’t on good terms.

“He’s fine,” Nari replied, taking a deep breath and then releasing it before continuing on. “He got married yesterday.”

“Be serious, Nari,” Kamaria laughed loudly.

“That’s the fucked up thing, I am being serious,” Nari insisted and after taking a few seconds to look at her best friend, Kamaria realized that she was telling the truth. Jumping up from her seat, Kamaria rushed over to the vanity table that was against the wall and grabbed her phone, quickly unlocking it and going straight to the Twitter app. As she refreshed her feed, her mouth dropped open in horror as she saw the photos of Jimin and Kim Hye-ja standing together, hand in hand, on the steps of a private plane. It wasn’t until she saw a zoomed in photo of their hands that she noticed the large diamond ring on Hye-ja’s finger and the golden band on Jimin’s finger, and tears began to roll down her face.

“What the fuck?” Kamaria spat, becoming so upset the longer that she looked at her phone that she suddenly threw it onto the ground as hard as she could, causing it to break into several pieces. The destruction didn’t stop there, Kamaria reaching out and clearing everything off of the top of the vanity table.

“Kamaria, no!” Nari shouted as she rushed over to her, grabbing her arms and stopping her from knocking anything else over.

“How could he?!” Kamaria screamed, fat trails of tears rushing down her face. “How could he do this to me?!”

“I know, I know,” Nari whispered and her heart broke as Kamaria slid out of her arms and down onto the ground, covering her face as she sobbed loudly.

.............................................................

“I wasn’t sobbing or uncontrollably upset,” Kamaria clarified. “However, I was annoyed because Jimin and I have been friends for a long time and I would’ve loved to share that moment of happiness with him, which I’ve told him.”

“That’s completely understandable,” Ji-yoon said. “Have you met Hye-ja-ssi yet?”

“I haven’t had the opportunity because of our busy schedules but I’m hoping to soon,” Kamaria lied easily.

“Can we expect any more collaborations from you and Jimin?”

“Right now, I think we’re both focused on finishing our respective albums but hey, never say never,” Kamaria chuckled.

“Speaking of that, when can we expect your next album?” Ji-yoon wondered. “I’m sure your fans, mini’s they’re called, are looking forward to it.”

“I’m planning to get back into the studio next week actually and hopefully, it’ll be out within the next few months,” Kamaria announced. “I’m so looking forward to it because I’ve missed being on stage so much.”

“And I’m sure it’s missed you as well,” Ji-yoon replied. “Well, thank you so much for coming to talk to me today.”

“Thank you for having me,” Kamaria smiled before bowing lightly in respect.

.............................................................

Four days later, the interview went live. The public seemed to respond extremely well to it, at least from what Nari said, and the buzz around the premiere of ‘Taming’ was insane. However, Kamaria couldn’t stop thinking back to how she had found out about Jimin getting married. Initially, she was sad, hurt, and in pain.

Now, she was pissed the fuck off.

She just couldn’t understand how someone that had loved her so much, who she had loved so much, would just act as though none of that even mattered. Jimin running off and getting married only two months after they broke up made her feel as though the three years they spent together hadn’t meant anything to him.

And if she was honest with herself, that’s the part that hurt the most because it meant that maybe what she thought they had shared wasn’t real.

“And if you wonder if I hate you, I do,” Kamaria sung as she sat at the piano in her penthouse. “Shitty of you to make me feel just like this, what I would do to make you feel just like this.” Grabbing the pen and notepad that had been sitting on top of the piano, she quickly scribbled some lyrics down onto the sheet before setting it down again. Just as she went to press down on the keys, the chime at her door sounded, signifying that someone was there.

Getting up, Kamaria walked over to her front door and cut on the camera, her eyes widening when she realized who it was. Pressing the button to turn on the intercom, she began to speak.

“Jimin, why are you here?”

“Can you let me in?” Jimin questioned in lieu of answering her question.

“How the fuck did you get my code to even get up here?”

“It’s your debut date plus the date your parents got married,” he chuckled. “It wasn’t hard, especially since I know you.” Rolling her eyes, Kamaria unlocked the door and opened it, allowing Jimin to step inside quickly before she shut the door behind him.

“What’s up with the dumbass hat?” She asked.

“Didn’t want anyone to see me,” he explained as he pulled the fedora from his head and pulled the mask on his face down.

“Why are you even here?”

“I saw the interview,” Jimin said. “You were crying when you found out?”

“I clearly said in the interview that I wasn’t,” she huffed.

“You also said that you were looking forward to meeting Hye-ja and we all know that’s a lie.”

“Well, are you surprised?” Kamaria snapped. “The man who I had been in a relationship with only two months prior had suddenly gotten married to another woman and without telling me.”

“You left me, not the other way around,” he pointed out. “I didn’t think you’d be so upset.”

“That’s the thing: you don’t think about much that doesn’t have anything to do with you,” she told him. “Just like you asking me to be your fucking surrogate, you can’t seriously tell me that you took even a millisecond to consider how I’d feel about that.”

“I did, actually,” Jimin rebutted. “I thought about how us having a family together was something that we always talked about anyways. About how when I think about who I truly wanted to be the mother of my children, your face is the one that popped into my mind. About how when I think about who’s the love of my life, it’s you. It’s always been you.”

“It’s not me. You made that perfectly clear when you married Hye-ja,” Kamaria stated. “So you need to go home to her, to your wife because I don’t feel like talking to you anymore or even seeing your fucking face.”

“Stop throwing her in my face. I made the choice that I thought I was left with.”

“But it’s true!” Kamaria exclaimed. “You’re married to another woman that’s not....that’s not me.”

“Bubs,” Jimin whispered, his heart breaking when he saw tears beginning to fall from her eyes. When he stepped towards her, she stepped backwards and that made him freeze. “Bubs.”

“I want you to leave,” she muttered. “Now.” Jimin moved like he wanted to reach out and touch her again but Kamaria turned around and walked away from him then, pacing back over to the piano and taking a seat. Being able to recognize the seriousness in her voice, Jimin placed his hat and mask back onto his face before letting himself out of the penthouse.

“Heavy on the missing you, wish it was different than what it was,” Kamaria sung, pouring all of her emotions into the only thing that had always been there for her without fail: her music.

.............................................................

Tag List: @dunixxd @namaslaylife @shabbamadapot

#bts #bangtanarmynet #bangtanbathhouse #bts jimin #jimin x reader #jimin x oc #bts x reader #bts x oc #jimin smut #jimin angst #jimin fluff #bts angst #bts smut #bts fluff #bts reactions #bts imagines #bts series

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kucherovv · 7 months

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ok very long situationship discussion under cut bc i slept over last night and Ermm im processing it now

sooo it was pretty nice for the most part Like. idk when im JUST hanging out with them its very good. like laying in bed together is pretty much the only time its good

we hung out w our mutual rlly close friend and. idk if ivs said this but at some point there was another girl which is. fine because we're not dating or exclusive in any way (like, explicitly not exclusive) but it does make me want to kill myself. anyways we were talking about said other girl and there were hints that there might be a THIRD one but i genuinely dont think so bc situationship literally cannot leave their room rn bc of [mental health reasons i cant get into]

like i dont want to be naive but. yeah i think it was just something in the past bc they have always mentioned other people as friends at least and they only ever hang out w me and the aforementioned close friend. like they dont even see the other girl anymore

anyways also our friend was pointing out how situationship was IN A SITUATIONSHIP with someone else last fall semester before i rlly met them and wanted to start dating but the girl didn't want to and it like devastated them. almost like what is happening to me rn. and they were like "well let's not talk abt that because it gets too close to uncomfortable self reflection" ok

theyve told me before that like. they want people to be obsessed with them (hence the fucking around) but not obsessed in the way that people are when theyre dating. BUT after a break up the other person should continue to be obsessed with them. like theyre scared of the commitment or vulnerability or whatever that comes from reciprocity. its so weird i just dont understand how their brain works!

its just like. how can you expect people to give you attention the way that you want them to if you treat them like this.

also our friend was like "i would rather you guys stop entirely or date but i cant stand this in between" like YOU cant stand it IMAGINE HOW I FEEL LOL. ok anyways. and he also said he told situationship to just stop being involved w anyone which is funny. its so silly when they talk about our relationship like im not there 🥴😐

also its. not like i havent been honest or upfront abt my feelings bc ive told them maybe 50 times how i feel abt them. but its not something im going to push whatever

i was also talking to my hs friend who had a situationship turn into a real relationship and he was like "well are you guys having sex at least bc that makes jt a little better" NO WE'RE NOT!!!! its so weird bc we . basically did when i was visiting them this summer and then havent even kissed since then. silly!!! someone (charlie maybe) said we were slowburn and its like No. we're just regressing

ANYWAYS. i am not pushing or changing anything BECAUSE. they are withdrawing for the semester and going home then coming back in the spring. and going to therapy and meds in the meantime

so. this is very dumb probably but. i hope they get better so we can be in a fr relationship because i think we're very good together. and i think they like me more than the other girl. which sounds so stupid and desperate when u say it out loud but i really. do think they like me the best. and i hope that if they pursue a relationship w someone that its me .

ok typing that out makes it seem insane um. but yeah whatever fuckk me i guess

#situationship posting

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craycraybluejay · 1 year

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Tfw someone told u they have fucking amnesia when they tried to go right back to fuckin and you didn't believe them but told them how they cut u off and they were like; "meh I don't remember it so whatever." And things have been chill and great lately but you feel bad that either you're taking complete advantage of amnesia and mental health decline or they're taking advantage of your willingness to act like nothing happened in favour of maintaining the comfortable arrangement.

Like. Things are so good now with them it's just heavenly. But in the back of my head I'm still thinking about what they said when they initially cut me off. It fucked me up good for the while it lasted. And now I don't have closure. If I'm the one taking advantage/avoiding a conversation that should be had and the amnesia is real then it could just happen again just like it did before. If I'm not careful. And if they're taking advantage then it won't happen again but on the other hand instead of apologizing for saying what they said they decided to say they don't remember it and expected me to believe it. And I do believe it, because I want to. I have no idea if it's actually true. I feel lucky as hell to get a rewind button like in a time loop. Things are the same as they always were.. right? So why are you suddenly acting more concerned toward me. Why are you asserting you care. I don't need looking out for from you. I need you to trust me to look out for myself so I can trust you to be real with me.

How much is truth and how much is fiction? And does it even matter? Probably not... even if I somehow obtained proof that this amnesia event was real or fake I would do nothing about it. If it was fake I think I'd be fucking elated. Cause this fucker went on a tangent about why they're bad for me and that would mean they reconsidered. *For me.* Either because they couldn't resist me or realized they were wrong about me and themselves. But it was FOR FUCKIN ME. And if it was real? I'd say I'd feel guilty but I honestly wouldn't. Not after what happened. Not after everything in play here. What does it even mean to take advantage if it's a mutual thing. Doesn't it cancel out? You turn a blind eye to my transgressions and I to yours. We're good in every way that matters to either of us. I will never be in love with you but I will always cherish you and lust after you. And I hope you feel the same way on the first point. But it's okay if you don't because the second can be enough for me. You have a place in my heart that was carved out from a long while of difficult times with aggressively stupid people. Talking to you is easy. Flirting with you is easy. It's so fucking easy I'm just waiting waiting waiting for the other shoe to drop. A second time. But it isn't dropping. I talk to you and I feel no apprehension, only excitement and occasionally relaxed camaraderie. I'm less scared of you than anyone else in my life; even my closest friend. Because what you and I have is so complex yet so easily defined and maintained. Like a native plant garden, it almost seems to care for itself. We don't talk for weeks, sometimes months. There is no awkwardness when we talk again. I say something I start to wonder is too much. You approach it with understanding. I listen to your fascinating life and you mine. We talk about things. We fuck about things. You are such a valuable person to me despite being monetarily and situationally useless. The circumstances of our situationship are so very strange. But it works. You start to feel guilt like you have some unwanted power and I level it on you like a crumbling city. I start to feel guilt and you erase it like it was never there to start with. It balances out.

So let me cleanse you a million times more of your guilty conscience every time it bubbles up. The strange nothings that clutter your mind with unhelpful judgements. Things about me and things that aren't. You have nothing to be guilty about. I would a thousand times leverage power over you than let you really truly believe that you hold ultimate power in this arrangement. We are equal because I am not afraid to do what must be done. Because I don't have moral hangups based on what some outsider might say. You tell me not to presume to know you more than I do. I think I have a decent picture; at least of the you that you are with me. And that's the only you that concerns me. You owe me no welcome to your life. Nor do I. We talk because we want to. You like to make yourself feel bigger than me; that's okay, I get it. I Do Too. Given the opportunity I am glad to prove myself over you. This works so well because chaos is balance. And this is chaos. An intersecting, compatible kind of chaos. I never think about you except when we talk. I think about you all the time. I adore and hate you. But in a way that is so simple. We both have so many cards to play. Let's play forever.

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eroticcannibal · 2 years

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Yknow what lets have some teenage dumbassery positivity. What shit did you get up to? How did you grow from that?

I did the whole piercing myself with an ice cube and sewing needle and I tell u what. Only did it once. Went to a proffesional every time after, very good life lesson.

I did so many of the drugs and got into a lot of unsafe situations, probably went too far on a few occasions and yes a few in my peer group did die, but I learnt a lot from it all. I learned about safe use, I learned first hand the ups and downs of addiction which has left me with a fantastic understanding of myself and my limits (I mean, I'm an ex alchy with a gin collection that I barely touch and I only ever have one double when I do drink. Thats the restraint my past has given me). The addiction program gave me wonderful opportunities. I've had my art in a gallery. I learned to fight in a way that suits my small frame and gives me an advantage. I learned a lot about self care, and that program was the first place that I learnt that sex for afabs could and should be pleasurable, and how to do that.

Now never had sex underage but I did jump at the chance when I turned 16. And I've been an idiot and had near misses which scared me straight. And then I was sensible and ended up with an STD and a pregnancy, because turns out contraception can fail and you can't always trust what your man tells you. Hard life lessons but I have no regrets about learning. I learned how truly resilient I really am, after years of thinking I was weak. I learned so much about myself and my mental health when I quit everything cold turkey, I'm talking like 6 different street drugs and high dose anti depressants. And I cannot even begin to describe how much parenthood has taught me and changed my life. Not only for my child but for myself. I can see myself more kindly. I was a kid. Its ok to mess up. I did my best.

Dropped out of college too and it took a long time for that to help more than hurt, and yes I'm still in a bad way emotionally, but logically I can see I am happier with the life I ended up with than I ever would have been if I'd stayed. I am trying very hard to be proud of myself for dropping out.

Shoplifitng is of course very sexy, no need to elaborate further.

And my criminal record may have caused me issues, but it was the catalyst for getting my system under control (definately not in a healthy way, but this is the safer way). The stay in the children's home really did a lot to repair me and my mums relationship, even if it was never good until I left home. I fucked up but im still grateful for the chance I was given and us being brought together again.

Honestly while the memories of my teen years still frequently hurt me, I have made peace with it. It made me who I am and I love who I have become. I am OK with the price I paid for the life I have.

#word of god

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weabooweedwitch · 1 year

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Hey I gotta agree with the other person plz get away from ur mother. Ur honestly too talented and capable to let someone drag u down like that. I rlly believe you’ll be so much better off away from her. Half of your problems are literally directly caused by her and the other half are propagated by her. I wish you the best bc this world is so already hard to navigate and ur mom is making it way worse than it needs to be.

Aw thank you sweetie that honestly means so much to hear 🥺 and honestly I had childhood trauma so I've always kind of had mental health issues but sometimes I just sit and think of things she said or did to me that arguably directly contributed to specific complexes I have and behavioral issues

Like I used to say "I'm sorry" all the time, and kinda still do, when other people would tell me bad news they were going through and like to this day I feel some sort of personal guilt when I can't help someone, because like, I would be an actual child and I'd be in the car with my mom while she was driving and she'd be venting and I was "the rock" I was "the least difficult child" I was "the mature one" and she would basically use me as friend and therapist a lot and she would be going on and on for significant amounts of time about things I literally didn't understand and wasn't really appropriate to tell me

"--and I'm so tired of my coworkers, they whisper to each other sometimes and I JUST KNOW they're talking about me, I swear some of them are only there to fill quotas, and then this bill ran through early and my check bounced and my account is overdrawn"

"I'm really sorry mom :( I don't know what a check bouncing means though"

"Oh well it means--" bitch ya shoulda stopped right there like she literally told me about adult issues and adult financial problems that were quite literally beyond my understanding and I would feel helpless that I couldn't fix or help all these problems she had and I felt BAD and I felt GUILTY and I would just apologize all the time to the point I had friends kind of get mad I apologized so much

I would repeat conversations I had with her to other people sometimes even professionals like therapists and they'd tell me she was wildin out and I'd get mad and tell her "yeah well my therapist that you like so much and you think is doing such a good job told me it's unrealistic to expect you to change and I should just try and work around your behavior" "yeah well thats only because he heard one side of the story, if he spoke to ME he would be on MY SIDE" and repeat that 'one side' argument infinitely until I still never know if I'm just an overdramatic whiny little baby or if my feelings are valid (and I do legitimately have emotional issues and stuff so, yeah I can sometimes have issues, and those never really got solved either, just mocked I guess)

I'm just like. Afraid to turn my back on her because every other day its a new problem. The other week I hear her on the phone, she's saying she didn't realize it was still around, was it gathering interest, how much is it now, and afterwards I ask her and it's an old car she had some sort of payment or whatever on and she now owes, what I assume to be thousands. And she's had several cars since that one and even our current car is falling apart. It's at the point she makes a small mistake and I'm in instant rage mode because it's like GIRL CAN YOU EVEN DO ONE THING FOR ONE WEEK WITHOUT-- like I'll literally want to actually shake sense into her but like she's 58. She's like this forever.

I'm still mad about that pill thing that happened. She took tons of pain meds without even really counting or leaving space in between doses "oh because i just wanted the pain to stop" to the point where I called poison control and they said she was lucky to not be getting sick and then i get off the phone and she. Doesn't even care. "I knew what I was doing, you're overreacting, you need to be on medications for this" like, it. It makes me want to scream because she's constantly trying to force me to have pity for her, years and years of venting and complaining to the point I WOULD TELL HER TO HER FACE I DIDNT CARE AND SHE WOULD STILL KEEP TALKING, but then when I actually bring up legitimate concerns or issues like her almost POISNING HERSELF she has the fucking NERVE to say that to me???? I have an actual completely valid legitimate concern and you have A LICENSED PHYSICIAN TELLING YOU DIRECTLY "yeah I'm extremely surprised you're not in significant digestive distress and throwing up" and she tells me I'm OVERREACTING???

Like. I sit and I think. So much of my life involves her SILENCING me? I'll try to have an adult conversation to fix our issues because unlike her I've actually had therapy and she'll just "im done talking about this, every day you're nasty, you don't get to speak to me like that (even if I'm being nice and just pointing out her issues), what about all the times YOU did XYZ" like to feel like I could literally hand her a glowing hot pink chemical "this will literally give you cancer" and she would reply "no I had a friend in high-school who says this is a multivitamin" and she'd drink it. You can have EVIDENCE and multiple people telling her she is wrong and she either SHUTS YOU DOWN AND REDUSES TO TALK AT ALL or she just outright tells you you're stupid and wrong and emotional and have issues. Like. No wonder I don't trust myself. No wonder I have anger issues that are getting worse. She will literally NEVER listen to me. She will text me on my phone to fetch her water just because she had a headache but I can literally be so congested I'm struggling to breathe and she LET THE LITTERBOX ACTUALLY MOLD WHILE WAITING FOR ME TO RECOVER SO I COULD DO IT like. I love her but I hate her and I'm embarrassed and ashamed of her. But she also IS competent in the sense she kept me and my sister alive as a single mom but I mean, she also gave both of us huge issues and I kinda wish she had put us up for adoption

And it sucks because she has her old childhood trauma and mental health issues too. But I can't help but wish that my father had never lost custody. He may have had some ups and downs over his life but he was at least able to maintain better than my mom. Like for example he blew through a lot of his savings by getting a hobby racing cars at a racetrack and now doesn't really have anything, but like, at least he had that money to spend to begin with. My mom has to dip into a 401k whenever she actually has one. She will basically have to keep working until she can't sit in a chair anymore. I fear becoming her, or at least, more like her than I already am.

Just. Oof. Trying to take things one step at a time, but also considering other options for the future, and of course I have nice people like yourself offering advice and support and that's helpful in of itself ❤️ hopefully all of us can have some personal peace in this wild hectic world of ours 😩

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finelinevogue · 3 years

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the fact that Y/N has post natal depression Is somewhat refreshing idk I just don't see it talked about much on here and if it is it's like Hella angsty and the partner doesn't understand what it is but I was wondering if u could touch on it a bit more cause it's something I'm really scared about happening to me and I just want harry to hold me and tell me it's going be okay 😚😚😚😚

P.s. if u don't wanna it's understandable

anon: can u write about harry helping y/n through her ppd maybe like the 3rd time was so bad that h decide that he won’t be having more children

so this was requested twice so i would love to be able to write this for you both, hope this is okay - mind it’s heavily angsty!;

tw: vomiting, ppd and od

oli - 4, felix - 3, belle - 12 weeks

Motherhood was really fucking hard.

The birth of your newly born daughter, Isabella, had really taken a back pedal on your mental health. You had suffered with post natal depression after the birth of your two sons, but nothing as bad as this.

It had hit you around the 7 week mark after giving birth. The pregnancy itself was okay, even though she was slightly premature, but it was after you’d taken her home that it’d all spiralled downhill. It started with complications with her breastfeeding - like she was rejecting the milk that you had produced. It hurt to see her reject you and your body, finding more comfort in drinking from a pre-made milk bottle as her dad rocked her to sleep. You recall the evening so clearly and felt like an utter failure as you watched her drink a bottle of formula for the first time.

“Ssh ssh,” Harry cooed to your 7 week old daughter as he rocked her in his arms on the rocking chair in her nursery. She was whining because she was hungry, but the problem was that she wasn’t accepting your milk. She hadn’t been accepting your milk all day and now it was becoming dangerous for you to keep on saying ‘Oh i’ll just try later.’ Harry had told you to make a formula bottle for her. “Mummy’s coming.”

As much as you didn’t want to, you were walking back to the nursery with a warm bottle in your hands. You’d tested it on your hand to make sure it wasn’t too hot and then taken a sip to taste it, out of jealousy, and you thought that it didn’t taste any different to you. Then again you’re not a 7 week old human whose only date is milk.

“Look here’s mummy with your yummy milk, okay? Look Belles!” Harry cooed at his darling angel and you only wished he wasn’t as happy for her as he was.

“Yeah.” You spoke softly, handing him the bottle and standing nearby, part of you hoping that she would reject this too and she wasn’t just rejecting you.

But no, she drank the formula like it was her last meal.

“Such a sweet girl, aren’t you?” Harry praised her, watching her in awe as she kept on drinking the formula. Watching as she was drinking to become the strong girl you knew she’d become. It just hurt that it wasn’t you that could help her become that.

You felt powerless. Worthless, even. The one thing that you had carried the weight of your breasts around to do and you couldn’t even do it. Your nipples were so sore and your breasts ached so badly and it was all for nothing. Perhaps it was punishment for being such a bad mum. Perhaps you’d never been good enough for this job and it was your bodies way of shutting you down forever. You wouldn’t need the ability to produce milk anymore, because you weren’t worth the title of becoming one again. You wanted to be happy for your little one, seeing her happy but all you felt was rejection and sadness. She didn’t think you were good enough to be her mum and that really hurt.

Along with the breastmilk problem, Belle also became very stubborn when you wanted to change her nappy. Anytime you tried to change and help her she put up a fuss, kicking her legs and sometimes she would bite or hit you away. It was just a reminder that you weren’t a good enough mum for her and that she didn’t feel safe enough around you. She didn’t find comfort in your presence and she was so fussy about what you did around her. With Harry, though, she was an angel. She loved him so much and obviously he made her feel so loved and safe - something you’d clearly never be able to give her.

There was also the chores of being a mother to your other two sons too. Oli and Felix were old enough to understand that they had a baby sister, but they weren’t old enough to understand how miserable you were. Harry wasn’t even able to figure it out yet. You tried your best to put on your bravest face, knowing that your family needed you to be strong but the truth was that you were crumbling on the inside. You were feeling less and less like yourself and you were waiting for the moment when you’d completely fall apart. Nothing felt right anymore. Everything was just numb.

“You two boys okay?”

You walked into the children’s playroom see that they were sat at the little table colouring in. Felix’s little legs dangled slightly, whereas Oli’s legs touched the floor and it made your heart swell at how big they were both getting.

“Yep!” Oli cheered, scribbling with his left hand as his tiny tongue stuck out from his lips as he concentrated - a habit passed onto him from his father.

“What are you both drawing?” You asked, coming over and kneeling on the floor beside them and having a peek at their drawings.

“We’re colouring for daddy.” Felix answered, some of the words not being pronounced properly due to his young lisp and lack of being taught how to say things correctly yet.

His words stung though. You appreciated that he was only a toddler and he meant nothing evil or malicious by it, but it hurt to think that maybe, just maybe, your sons were doing this for their dad because he did so much more for them than you did. Of course you tried to be the best mum you could, but maybe you weren’t doing enough. Maybe you weren’t meant to be a mum after all, or at least not a good one.

“O-oh,” you tried to hold back the tears in your eyes because your boys looked so proud at their artwork - and you should be too. “Tell me about them then, my loves.”

Oli went first, “So this is me and this is Oli and this is dad. It’s us playing football like we did the other day, mummy.” He pointed out to each of the figures, some looking actually quite terrifying but you’d never have the heart to tell him that. The figures were all holding hands though and it hurt to think that you weren’t a part of that.

“Oh that’s so good Ols!” you rubbed his head of hair and then turned to Felix’s, “What about you Fix?”

“I drew daddy as the best.” He pointed to a trophy that the figure - more like a stick-man-slenderman - was holding, which was decorated with the award of ‘my hero’.

“I told him to write hero, mummy.” Oli added, and you smiled at both of them.

“Well done. Good job both of you. Daddy will love these!” You only wished that they would draw something for you. You hated to think that you were being petty, but honestly you just wanted to feel loved. “Shall I go cut up some apple for a snack, hey?” You asked, trying to feel useful.

“Daddy is making us smoothies!” Felix answered and you had to stand up, up and away from their heigh, so they didn’t catch the tears in your eyes.

“Okay! Don’t forget to give him those pictures - he’ll love those.” You praised them and they both giggled to each other.

The sight of your sons laughing should’ve made you so happy, but it only reminded you that you weren’t the source of their happiness. You weren’t on their mind enough to be their inspiration for drawings. You definitely weren’t their hero. You were just a woman to them, not a mum. You wanted to be so much more but it was clear that they didn’t need you. They were loved by their dad and each other, not in need of your heart.

Eventually Belle settled down and was sleeping better through the night, leaving you and Harry to much more peaceful nights sleep. Well, just Harry.

You had found it near impossible to get to sleep now. You lay awake at night wondering when Belle would next wake up, wondering when she’d next need you. Harry was always quick out of bed though, even if he actually was sleeping, to help her ordering you to stay in bed and rest yourself. You couldn’t help feel like he was telling you to stay put because he knew you wouldn’t be able to do your job properly - and you started to believe him.

You’d found yourself getting jealous of those that could get to sleep. When you were walking down the road you’d judge a person by how much sleep they looked like they got last night. You definitely looked like you only had 2 hours - even when you’d only had 37 minutes but who’s counting? Your dark circles were heavily noticeable, but no one cared enough to ask. Even Harry stayed clear of you more and more often; spending more time with the kids than you and sleeping on his side of the bed instead of yours at nighttime.

There had been one evening where you had been so restless that Harry had gotten so frustrated and left the room, with a blanket and a pillow, and slept on the couch. You’d never felt so much like a burden than that night. Your family was rejecting you and you felt like a failure. You were a success at failing in everything. The meals you cooked went half eaten by everyone because you would’ve forgotten to add a key ingredient. The children preferred to spend more time playing with their dad because you weren’t energised enough to play the games they wanted to. Your daughter still rejected your milk. It was all too much and you just wanted one nights peace for it to change.

Last night had been that night.

Fuck these were so addicting. You were finally getting the sleep that you so badly craved, only with the help of tablets.

You wanted the sleep because that was the one place you could escape to. You needed that escape to help you get out of bed the next morning. Life was too hard for you to not dream, and without dreaming you didn’t want life.

It started off with taking one every night before bed, but then they stopped working again, so you started taking two, then three. Four was obviously where your body hit its limit.

“Mummy? Can you come tuck me in please?” Oli asked, little toy giraffe in hand and shaking you in hopes of waking you up to send him peacefully off to sleep.

You’d gone to bed a bit earlier tonight, lying saying that you were extremely exhausted. Harry said he would be able to handle things and that’s when you excitedly ran upstairs to take your pills; 4 of them. You’d made it into your bed, feeling slightly drowsy after completing your nighttime routine, but then you started to feel unwell and really ill. Before you’d passed out you’d stuck your fingers down your throat in hopes to make the feeling in your stomach disappear, but it ended up you throwing up all over the bed and pass out right there.

“Mummy! Wake up!” Oli rattled your back, but you were still unresponsive.

Oli padded out of the room and down to his sisters room where he knew his dad was. Belle was being extra fussy this evening and Harry suspected it had everything to do with you retiring early. He heard Oli come into the room just as he’d gotten Belle down.

“Y’alright buddy?” Harry whispered, tip-toeing out of Belle’s room, leaving the door open slightly, and crouched down in front of him.

“No. Mummy’s not waking up.” Oli pouted, rubbing a tired fist over his eye.

“She’s probably in dreamland, bud. She was really tired today.”

“She’s really tired all of the times.”

“I know, Ol.” Because Harry did know, but he was too much of a coward to face up to the problem. The doctors had said that post natal depression can strengthen with every birthed child, but he was too blind sighted by the fact that you’d overcome the first birthed post natal depression so quickly, and was so in love with his baby girl, that he didn’t truly see how bad things had gotten. Harry had tried giving you some space, distancing himself from you in bed and spending more time with the kids so you could relax and rest up, but nothing seemed to be working. He was surprised, actually, that you’d been having better sleep recently and so was hopeful that maybe the worst of the depression was over.

Hell, was he so wrong.

“Go to bed, bud okay? I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Wake mummy up so she can give me a kiss.”

“I’ll try little man, alright?” Harry scuffed his sons hair and then watched him walk off to his room.

Harry walked into your dark room, the air smelling slightly sour, and walked around to your side of the bed. He sat down next to you sighed heavily. He needed to speak to you, no matter how tired or angry you’d be with him. He was losing you as a wife and a mother and a soulmate and a lover. He was just losing you, just as you were losing yourself and he was doing tip-toeing around the problem any longer. He was going to try and make this better. He was going to better understand how you were feeling in order to help you.

“Baby?” He spoke softly, nudging you gently, “Baby wake up.” No response. “Y/N, my love? Wake up for me darling, need to speak with you.” Normally you would’ve stirred by now but there was still nothing. “Y/N?” Harry shook you a bit more urgently now - one that would surely wake even the deepest of sleepers. “Y/N!” He shouted, perhaps a bit too loudly for the comfort of his children.

He turned you over and that’s when he knew this was very, very, bad.

Your face was pale grey and your mouth was covered in the remains of vomit, and he suddenly understood the gross sour smell from before. Your hair was greasy and stuck all in the wet sick all over your face. Your eyes were puffy from the remains of tears. You looked dead.

“No, no, no. Y/N! No you don’t.” Harry’s eyes starting weeping and he couldn’t think straight. He checked your pulse on your wrist and timed it - it was unhealthily faint. He wouldn’t be surprised if you were in your last beats of your heart. His tears and sobs were uncontrollable, but he had to be both strong for you and his children, as well as for him. “Fuck sake pull yourself together Harry. Okay, baby hold on please. Okay? You don’t get to leave me like this, you hear me? I love you so much, baby. Fuck i’m so sorry.” He gently placed your head back down on the pillow and pulled out his phone.

999

“What’s your emergency?”

“I need a-an ambulance p-please. I-I think my wife i-is dying.”

The rest of it was a blur for Harry. Him trying to wake you up. The ambulance arriving. Oli and Felix crying when they saw you being carried away on a stretcher. Belle’s deafening screams. Harry’s heart beating for the both of you.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

It was the rhythmic beeping sounds that woke you up.

Your whole body felt achey and sore, your head a pounding mess. You opened your eyes slowly, adjusting them to the light of the room. You expected to see the family photo on the wall opposite you and the white of your curtains, but you were met with a heart-monitor machine and a hospital bed instead. You looked down at your body and noticed a cannula in your arm, making you squirm because you hated stuff like that so much. Your nose had a tube running inside it too, feeding you the oxygen your lungs weren’t receiving properly.

It then dawned on you how you weren’t in the room alone. You saw a sleeping Anne and Gemma on the chairs in the far corner, with Felix and Oli tucked against their sides - Anne with Oli and Felix with Gemma. It was so cute to see them so cuddled up close. They looked peaceful. You took note of the baby pram that was at the end of your bed, most likely playing bed to your beautiful daughter. Your mind felt lost. You can’t really remember what had happened, apart from taking four of those sleeping pills. You fully remember the weight of feeling worthless and useless as both a mum and a wife, though, and that feeling was still very prominent.

Your eyes lastly landed to the side of you, where Harry was sat but also laid on your bed. The top of half of his body laid upon the bed, his head buried onto this arm deep within the bed, whilst his bottom stayed rooted to the chair. His hand was holding yours tightly, which was a sign that he wasn’t asleep. You were so scared to face him though. You had failed him, again and again and you weren’t sure whether you could be enough for him anymore. Enough for your family anymore.

You squeezed his hand three times saying ‘I love you.’

“Y/N,” He whispered so hoarsely, but you were so focused on him to even catch it. He looked ruined, and you’d done that to him. His eyes were dark and tired, but also red and puffy from where he’d been crying. His hair was a mess and you could tell it hadn’t been washed in a while. How long had you been out for? You felt rested in your sleep, but not in your mind or your heart.

“I—” Your breathe got caught in your throat, but you persevered to finish your words. He deserved to here them. “I’m sorry.” You were whispering so you didn’t disturb anyone else in the room.

“No, stop it. I’m sorry baby.”

“Harry don’t, you don’t have anyt—”

“Stop yes I do I—”

“Harry please you don’t owe—”

“Y/N listen!” He cut the little volley-conversation and ordered you to just stop. You started crying when you saw that he was too. “Whatever you’re going to say, don’t. Whatever you’re thinking, stop it right now. Because I love you. Fuck, I do. I love you so much that when I found you unconscious in a pile of your own sick thinking you were dead, my only thought was that I wished it were me instead”.

“Harry, you don’t mean—”

“My god Y/N! You don’t get it, do you? I would do anything to switch places with you right now. I would suffer a thousand times over if it meant you were okay. I’d suffer in hell for you. Nobody else but you has ever made me feel like this. I married you because I love you and I want to wake up next to you every day of my beating hearts life. I chose to have children with you, because I knew how great of a mum you’d be and what beautiful people you’d help bring up into the world—”

“But i’m not.” You cut Harry short, trying to pull your hand away from him but he didn’t let you - only tightening his grip and pulling himself closer towards you. He was so close you could kiss him.

“Not what?” He asked, although he already knew the answer. You’d both had this conversation before, but you were both tired of it and were ready for it to be your last now.

“A good mum. I’m- i’m not a good mum or wife, Harry and i’m sorry.”

“I told you not say it and stop thinking it, because you’re completely wrong Y/N. You’re a good mother and a good wife, because you are a good person.”

“But i’m not great.” You whimpered, thinking back to the drawings your Oli and Felix had done. “I’m not the best.”

“But you don’t have to be, baby. You see our beautiful, healthy, happy and safe babies over there?” Harry turned to look at them, love in his eyes as in yours. “They wouldn’t be all those things, no matter how you feel about yourself, without you. I could never have brought them up to be half the people they are without you by my side, the way you make me a better person. You claim you don’t got this, but baby you’re already doing it and have been doing it for 5 years with our children and so much longer with me.”

“I’m just so fucked up Harry.” Your head tilted back on the pillow as you got heavily emotional over the situation.

Harry shook his head and moved his hand to cup the back of your neck, moving your head forwards until it met his. The touch of his skin against yours, no matter where and how small, made you feel alive and you’d missed him and that feeling so much. You missed loving him so much.

“Listen to me.” He ordered, keeping you still. “You are strong and you are brave Y/N Styles. No matter what you tell yourself I will be here every goddamn day of my life, if I have to, to remind you that you are worth more than your fucking weight in gold. You are my heart. You are my soul and the mother to my greatest achievements. I know they are yours too, just as I know I am your heart.

“You are.” You whispered so quietly under your breathe, but Harrys heart warmed when he caught you saying it. He knew though.

“Just let me love you. Let me be there for you. If you want medication then let’s do it, and i’ll be there for every step of the way. If you want to go to a rehabilitation centre for a bit, that’s okay we can—”

You shook your head and licked the tears away from your face. You were both such tearful messes, but the love between you was undeniable. “No, no please, no.”

“Okay, okay, love. We won’t. See, you’re okay. I promise, you’re okay. Stay with me, yeah? I’ll love you and keep you safe, just as you will me.”

“Promise.” You told him sincerely. He brought his lips to yours with that single word. He was so proud of your for being so brave and strong. He wishes he was half the person you were. His lips conveyed those thoughts of his and you could taste the love and passion burning through his heart and out on to his lips. He tasted like home. z he was home. Your lips smacked together messily, but you didn’t care because you loved each other too much and had kissed each other even more. Once you pulled back he stayed close to you, smiling at you with such awe. “I think.. I think I want to try medication please.”

Harry didn’t say ‘okay’ or ‘sure thing’, no. He said four words that meant more to you in that moment that any others in the universe. More than saying ‘I love you.’ Words that reminded you that not everything is okay and that sucks really bad, but you’re doing your best to get through it. It was a reminder that you had so many people who loved you and cared for you. It was a gun at the starting line symbolising that the journey ahead wasn’t going to be easy, but worth it.

“I’m proud of you.”

686 notes · View notes

blueroses789 · 2 years

Text

I wish I could be stronger

Warnings:

Mental health issues

Smut

Angst

Domestic violence

next chapter: It’s over

Chapter 8/?

Reiss Apple Orchard: Chapter 8

Note: So sorry for the late update. I’ve been sick for a while. I threw up almost two weeks ago and just felt really weak for a while (I don’t have covid). Anyway I feel much better physically and mentally. Hope you all enjoy!💕

It had been another long exhausting week of studying and you were lying down onto your bed. You wanted to rest before another family dinner, which you didn’t want to go to. Why the hell did you want to meet the woman who walked out on you all those years ago? But it was important to at least see your father. A “ping” went off on your phone. Thinking it was one of your parents, you picked it up. Instead it was Eren.

Eren: r u free next weekend?

Y/n: I think so

Eren: The gang is getting together and we’re heading to the reiss orchard

You stared down at the text. A nervous pit had started in your stomach. While this wasn’t the first time you had been around Eren, it was the first time you had hung out as friends in six years. The thought made you nervous for some reason. Was it because it had been such a long time? Or because you liked Eren? Well, both. Deciding not to answer now, you got up. Muscles contracted painfully as you stood up. With a sigh you headed to the bathroom. Might as well treat yourself a bit before subjecting yourself to your mother. Historia was at work so you didn’t have to worry about her needing the washroom. You got one of your bath bombs from your stash of bathing products. You let out a sigh of relief as the hot water and and bath bomb esense surrounded you. It wasn’t bad to pamper yourself every now and then.

How should you respond to Eren’s text. Say no? Or go? And of all the places why did it have to be the Reiss Orchard. You hadn’t gone there since Eren stopped being friends with you. It was too painful. It had been the place the two of you had gone to for years, so there seemed to be no reason to go back. That and it would be too painful. Afterwards you got dressed in a respectable dress your father would have approved of and left for his house. By the time you got there your mother was there as well. She was sitting with a glass of wine while your father was speaking to someone on the phone.

“Dad?” Your mother looked up.

“Honey! You're here earlier than expected.” Your mother set down her wine glass.

“Light traffic.” You said indifferently. Not wanting to be with your mother alone, you headed to the kitchen. Your father had just set down the phone.

“Y/n.” He pulled you into an embrace and placed a kiss on your forehead.

“Do you need help with dinner?”

“ No dear, I’ve already cooked everything.”

“Well I can help set the table.” You grabbed the plates from the cabinet and laid them on the table. Your mother stayed back as you and your father talked. Once everything was ready she finally joined you at the table. You could feel your mothers eyes on you. This happened every time you would come over. Her pleading look as you continued to ignore her, instead choosing to abandon her affections. Like she had done to you all those years ago. The night she left you had begged her to leave. Why did she have to leave? Why did she have to be so selfish? From that day on you had resolved to always think of others. You never wanted to be your mother.

“You should come here next week.” Your father stated, giving your mother a meaningful look. Your mother looked right back at him.

“You know I’m busy.” Your mother couldn't seem to be able to look at you.

“What do you mean busy?” F/n pressed further. Your mother shrunk further.

“I mean I’ll be there just later-” But it seemed your father didn’t want to hear it.

“This is the only day of the week you see your daughter and you spend it with Jared!” You turned to glare at your mother.

“Who’s Jared?” With a vicious gleam in his eye, your father turned to you.

“Your mothers new boyfriend. It seems like he’s now more important than….well, her family.” He was shaking with rage. Anger and hurt boiled up inside of you. So now your mother cared so little that she was making no effort to see you. Even if you didn’t want to see her, the thought of her own mother not giving a damn bothered her.

“How about you stop being selfish and see your daughter, yeh?” Your father said.

Two hours after that uncomfortable conversation you were in your car driving. Your hands gripped the wheel tightly as you tried to remain calm. You were so fucking angry with your mother. If she didn’t want to come next week, fine. But you would hold this against her.

When you got to your dorm, Historia was asleep. You brushed your teeth and got into bed. Looking at your phone, you went to the messages between you and Eren. How would Eren feel if you did not attend? He just wanted to be friends again. You didn’t want to be your mother.

Y/n: Sure

You press send.

The day had arrived. You and Historia got ready to leave together. Then you headed down to the front doors to wait for the gang to pick you two up. Sometimes on these trips Ymir would tag along. Thankfully she was currently in Marley. Good riddance.

In the Jeep was Jean (the driver) and Armin who was in the front seat.

“Y/n! Long time no see!” Jean hollered out. You smiled and waved at him. Armin stuck his head out and waved. You noticed his hair was short.

“Armin! Your hair!” You ran up to him to check it out. He flushed as you gasped. All his life Armin had shoulder length hair. It was definitely different, but not bad.

“It’s because he’s trying to impress Annie.” Historia said nonchalantly as she got into the car.

“What!?” Armin squeaked.

“Oh c’mon man, we all know.” Jean scoffed. For the rest of the drive the three of you pestered Armin about his crush on Annie.

“You loooooove her!” You teased as Armin rushed out of the car, probably to save himself from the three pesterers. Historia giggled and chased after him, no doubt to annoy him. You stayed with Jean as he locked his car, not wanting to leave him alone. You looked out at the snow covered fields. Memories of years past seemed to flash before you. It brought a painful lurch to your stomach. You once again wondered why you agreed to this.

“You okay?” Jean placed a hand on your shoulder.

“It’s been a while.” You looked down at your boots. The truth was, you just wanted to curl up into yourself. It was almost too much. Jean linked his arm with yours as the pair of you headed inside. The building was like one of those old fancy ski lodges. A large fireplace was in the middle of the lobby, holy hung from banisters and a large Christmas tree was proudly standing in the corner.

‘Wow. Forgot how big this was.” You took everything in. Historia and Armin were sitting on a sofa drinking hot chocolate. Historia handed you a cup along with the words “it’s on the house”. Of course it was. The Reiss family owned this place, or rather, Historia’s uncle did. Historia hadn’t been on the best terms with her family. Rod Reiss was a pig in every way. Historia had been the child of an affair, because of this her father had no involvement in her childhood. When Historia’s grandfather died, his will stated that all the children and grandchildren were entitled to his inheritance. It was then that Historia’s mother Alma came out with Rod’s child and kicked up a fuss. Uri Reiss, Historia’s Uncle, forced his brother to acknowledge the child as his. Uri had filled a sort of father figure role in her life. Alma wasn’t a great mother so Historia moved out when she was sixteen. Uri took her in, as well as her sister Abel (who also wasn’t close with her father). Historia had minimal contact with most of her family, with the exceptions of Uri, Abel and Freida. Uri owned this estate, thus Historia could come whenever she wanted, free of charge. You joined her on the couch and Historia handed you a cup. With a yawn you set your head on her shoulder and zoned out as they continued to tease Armin. You just wanted to sleep. Maybe you shouldn’t have come.

“Hey guys!” You said your head to see Sasha, Connie, Niccolo (Sasha's boyfriend) and Reiner.

Sasha ran and practically bowled you and Historia over.

“It’s been forever. Oh!” Sasha spotted the hot chocolate and her attention was immediately diverted.

“Where’s Bert and Annie?” You asked.

“Couldn't make it.” Connie said. Armin suddenly looked uncomfortable.

“Where did they go?” He asked timidly.

“Bert had to go home. His dad’s sick so he needs his help. Annie already made plans with Hitch.” Armin’s shoulders sagged with relief. You gently squeezed his shoulder. Armin gave a small smile and nodded in understanding. Bert and Annie had been close causing some people to believe they had feelings for each other. You didn’t want Armin to go through what you were.

“Hey Y/n, sit here.” Reiner patted the place next to him. You obliged.

“How's school?” Reiner asked.

“It’s fine. Busy of course. You?”

“Well I’m going to Marley soon. I was wondering-” Reiner never finished his sentence. With an annoyed look, he glared at the entrance. Eren and Mikasa had walked in. Immediately you noticed something was wrong. While Eren looked fine, the same could not be said with Mikasa. She looked tired, like she had been up all night. You waved her over. Immediately Mikasa left Eren’s side and rushed to meet you.

“Rough night?” You held her hand. She nodded. You suspected something more. You guessed that she had been at Eren’s the night before since you hadn’t heard her last night. Did something happen between her and Eren?

Mikasa was at her wits end. Endless fights and frosty mornings seemed to be her life now. All she wanted to do was help Eren. And every time she did, he shoved her away. She cared for him, yes. But her feelings had changed. It wasn’t love like it had been. Was it that hard to want someone to hold her? To care for her? She looked at Y/n. Mikasa couldn't help but notice her thick lashes, bright e/c eyes, and her cute nose. She absentmindedly started to play with Y/n’s fingers. Eren walked towards her and she internally groaned. He sat beside her, but made no move to talk to her. That was fine. It had started last night. After their date, they had come across a boy being robbed by two highschoolers. Eren had taken off, running after the two boys. Mikasa was left behind to deal with the frightened boy. Later on they meet back at Eren’s dorm. Armin was elsewhere that night so he was allowed to bring his girlfriend over for the night. That night Mikasa had given him the silent treatment. She was angry with him, but was also pissed at Eren. The next morning had been frosty, and not because of the weather. Instinctively, Mikasa placed an arm around Y/n’s waist.

“Hey Mikasa, a word?” Jean asked. Mikasa looked at Y/n. She smiled and Mikasa got up. They headed into the lobby. Jean placed his back against the wall, arms crossed. For a few moments there was silence as she waited.

“Do you still want to be with Eren? Because if not, you need to leave.” Mikasa closed her eyes. Tears welled up in her eyes. She so rarely cried in front of anyone. She already knew what she wanted to do, but was scared. She remembered the green eyed ten years old boy who needed her. But this wasn’t working.

“Do you want to be with him.” Jean repeated him. A tear rolled down her pale face. Jean walked forward and pulled her into his arms. She cried into his coat.

“Anyone know where Mikasa and Jean are?” Y/n looked around. They had disappeared about ten minutes ago, and still had not come back. In the meantime, Eren had started to talk with you.

“How’s your train set going?” You asked.

“I actually finished it. All I need to do is paint it. Wanna come over to help?” You beamed at him.

“I'd love to.” He grinned. He handed you another cup of hot chocolate. You sipped the hot drink.

“We should head you. Everyone here?” Historia looked around.

“Jean and Mikasa disappeared a while ago.” Reiner said.

“Here.” Jean waved at you guys as he walked up to the group, Mikasa on his tail. Jean glared at Eren as he put on his hat. As soon as everyone was ready Historia led the way outside.

“It’s always pretty here.” Armin exclaimed as the looked at the snow covering the grounds like a blanket. It was like stepping back in time. Back when you were just a kid without a care in the world. A hand placed itself on your shoulder. You looked up to see Reiner looking down at you.

“Having fun?” He asked.

“Yeah.” Wanna go to the orchard?” You had the mad desire to walk between the rows of frozen trees blanketed in slow. Maybe it was for closure or something. Or maybe it was because you missed the way things were. Silently you and Reiner walked side by side. It felt like only yesterday that you were a middle school running between the rows. And for one second the snow melted, birds sang and the sweet smell of apples hung in the air. You eyes widened as for one moment all your pain went away.

And then it was gone. You were standing up to your ankles in snow, beside Reiner. Your breath seemed to be taken away as everything seemed to hit you. Everything that had been lost. Reiner was speaking but it fell on deaf ears. You had been so caught up in your emotions that everything else seemed to be blocked out. Suddenly Reiner grabbed your hand . You stopped and looked up at him. He opened his mouth to say something but never had the chance to.

“That's it! We're over!” You and Reiner looked at one another.

“What the hell was that?”

I really looked forward to doing this chapter because it sets up a lot. If your wondering why I included the scene with the parents it’s because I wanted to explain why y/n is a bit of a doormat.

Tag list:

@jaegersdiary

@didiyogo

@jeagersruletheworld

@maya3km

@casinorose

@erenjeagerwifee

#eren yeager #eren x mikasa #eren yeager x reader #eren smut #eren x reader smut #eren yeager fluff #eren x reader angst #eren yeager x reader angst #aot smut #snk smut #mikasa akerman #mikasa akerman x reader #mikasa x reader #historia x ymir #reiner x reader #reiner braun #reiner braun x reader #get ready for the angst and crack

65 notes · View notes

leviiattacks · 3 years

Note

I loved Ceo Levi so can I request Ceo Levi comforting the reader because she’s in financial trouble? Idk the plot it’s up to you but that sort of idea. I hope it’s not too much of a bother!! Also happy birthday ❤️

author note :: very rushed and not that great at all but i hope it’s enjoyable anon !! also thank u for the birthday wish <333 if you’d like for me to idk expand on this request you can always request again my ask box is open !! <33333 word count :: 1.5k

levi’s worried about you

like super worried

ultra worried

mega, super, ultra worried?????

all the synonyms for large aren’t enough to explain how distracted he is whilst he stares at you from across the table.

the entire team meeting today you’ve sat down with a glazed expression, you’re clearly out of it and don’t want to be present

on a few occasions he notices you gnaw at your lips anxiously and your eyes shift everywhere showing you’re clearly uncomfortable

team meetings are normally two hours long on a monday to discuss production plans extensively but levi can’t even make it to the thirty minute mark before he’s dismissing everyone

“we’re ending early i don’t feel well.”

mr ackerman letting the team leave early again... it’s the second time he’s done it now but HEY, the employees have no complaints!!

levi knows something’s bothering you when you don’t move an inch from your seat

you probably haven’t even heard what he said about leaving because you’re so zoned out

now,,,,levi’s never really been big on physical contact and he’s not great at comforting or using words either but he still double checks the door is locked so he can speak to you privately

you start sobbing as soon as the sound of the door clicks

“y/n, what’s wrong?” he’s cautious in his approach but places a hand on top of yours gently to test the waters

but you only start crying even more ?!?,!,

which panics him because oh my god what did he do...???,?.

did he do something wrong???

you know what, he’s just going to copy what people do in the movies and hope it goes well

your sobs echo through the room and he thanks himself that the cement walls are definitely thick enough for you to not be heard by your colleagues

slowly but gradually you get a grip and it almost looks like you have to force yourself to a halt midway just to wipe the tears at your eyes

it’s at times like these that levi thanks you for having an expressive face because he would hate to not notice you felt this horrible

“i suggest you carry on if you haven’t got it all out yet. from personal experience it’s better when someone sits with you.”

levi’s warm words embrace you and you look at his arms then his heat pressed suit. he’s in a completely different world compared to you and a feeling of sickness soon overpowers the warm feeling in your chest

why are you sitting here and crying like a pathetic fool in front of your boss??

ok, maybe he’s a little more personal than a boss you aren’t sure what he really is but that doesn’t matter

“y/n, i have something to say.”

FUCK. this is it. you’ll be fired for being unprofessional and improper. this is IT. the end of your professional career.

you want to run out of this room at full speed and hurl yourself out of one of the windows never to be seen again...

but,, you won’t do that, that’s embarrassing

instead you steel yourself and look at him with as much courage as you can muster (which to be clear is not very much)

“if you ever need to take a day off for mental health reasons you’ve always been allowed to so please feel free to take the rest of the day off if you’d like.”

he’s... not firing you?

“but before that, would you like to let me know what’s happened? can i maybe help?”

you purse your lips feeling the premature humiliation

he can help, anyone with as much money as him can but you don’t want him to aid you. the guilt would eat you away

but you do want to confide in him and tell him what’s wrong

you want to tell someone about it at least

“i’ve been evicted from my apartment” your voice is barely above a whisper and levi just looks at you mouth agape

he pays you enough to live comfortably

how could you be getting evicted?

“i have to pay for my mother’s medical expenses so it’s stressful i send most of my earnings hom-”

levi shushes you with his input. “i’ll pay off the debt so you don’t be evicted and i’ll also give you a pay rise.”

at that you’re just pure shocked

is he even thinking right now???

because this isn’t the strong willed strategic business man you know

“no??? i can’t leech off of you??”

“you’re not leeching. i am investing in you.”

you’re a little lost now but choose to hear him out

“you work for me already and i greatly value your work. now you’re in a tough position. correct?”

you nod your head in response

“and for you to still work for me you’ll need a home. correct?”

again you nod

“so allow me to pay off the debts. it’s for both of our benefit.”

that however really isn’t levi’s reasoning at all. he couldn’t care less about that, he just doesn’t want to see you shoulder the pain and stress of it all alone

staring at him teary eyed you sniffle

“would you-” your voice cracks and you cough “really???”

you look so desperate and vulnerable and levi feels frustrated for not spotting the warning signs of your struggle any sooner

you had been coming to the office looking more restless, you had been drinking more coffee and despite the excessive caffeine consumption he still caught you dozing off at your desk at least four times

he places a hand on the centre of your back and pats you three times as if you’re members on the same ship

“yes i mean it, take it easy.”

his simple sentence is enough to cause all of your rational thinking to jump away and you drag him in by the neck into a tight hug

you’re ugly crying and you know you’ll look back on this in embarrassment but your mind works on impulse, you’re unable to stop it

usually levi doesn’t like anyone messing up his suits but he can make an exception for you. he’s sure your tears have left a moist patch but he’s not mad. hell, even if you get snot on his expensive dress shirt he’ll be okay with it

“is there any way i can pay you back mr ackerman?”

he winces at the formality of your tone

“call me levi.”

your brows raise at the request

“that’s what i want in return. for you to call me levi.”

????

that’s all???

“oh, well thank you levi. i’m grateful...”

his name rolls off your tongue awkwardly the first few times and even he regrets asking you to call him by his first name

but three days later you’re walking in breezily. a pen is tucked behind your ear and you’re double checking levi’s spending sheet with a calculator in your hands.

levi literally STOPS breathing because you look so refreshed today and the colour is back on your face. you look your best when you’re stress free.

and then you say it

“levi, do you think you could spend a bit less on tea bags because OH MY LORD???”

he notices there’s no longer an air of discomfort to his name and his chest swells happily

“y/n, give me ONE good reason to not spend my money that way??”

you notice how he easily he says your first name with an airy chuckle and you could almost... ALMOST... swear the two of you are flirting

to anyone observing with no sound he looks as nonchalant as normal but really the tone of his voice is implying the suggestive nature of conversation

“maybe you should spend your money on other things you like?” your suggestion is thrown back in your face when levi scoffs choking back a laugh

“i already am spending my money on other interests of mine.”

turning to face him and to hand him a file of paperwork you look him right in the eyes

“and what interests would those be?”

levi’s gaze meander down to your lips before shooting back up to your eyes and you swear you feel a tingle in the pit of your stomach

“i’ll let you figure that out on your own. you’re smart enough.”

you’re gaping at that reply because how are you meant to know???

but, the answer to your question is far more obvious than you think.

and it’s only after work whilst you’re eating dinner that you’re able to connect the dots

he was, talking about...you??

gasping you flush bright pink and bury your face into one of your sofa’s pillows

no way, there’s no way that happened

oh no, but there really is a way

and that way is levi ackerman ;-)

304 notes · View notes

cvntyblogger · 3 years

Text

okay, im trying to say this in the most non-offensive way possible. i've been thinking about how much i dont want kids in the future because, well, i've never found the idea of pregnancy and taking care of children particularly appealing. to me, parenthood should include being with your child quite a lot and that sounds emotionally taxing and bad for the mental health of adults who are already stressed out due to their tedious jobs (capitalism am i right?). now, if theres one thing we know, it is the fact that most parents till date have not been all-round responsible to have kids, but due to irrational things like societal pressure or 'kids are cute 🥺', they've have them. i made a post earlier about how complicated relationships with your parents are, and i didnt expect it to blow up, but it did, and the fact that more than 74 thousand people can relate is not okay. to clarify, i dont come from an abusive household, i was simply talking about the (emotional) damage parents can do to their kids without even realising. so yeah, im safe, fyi lol.

About what i was saying: my sister once told me that people have kids for selfish reasons as well, aka not getting lonely. if u have kids with ur partner, at least in indian households u are affiliated with your partner's parents, siblings and relatives, so you have a larger family and more people to turn to in times of trouble, in old age or to simply hang out with, incl your kids. and having kids seals the deal of being accepted completely in society, and if u dont people treat you like you committed a crime.

Heres the thing, ok. i have seen people from all generations, incl gen Z, talk about having kids as something SO OBVIOUS in every person's life that it makes me scared because i feel like i will never find a partner in the future who will like to reman childfree. im young so i know this may seem like im overthinking the far future, but im really not, so let me have this.

not everyone wants to have kids and its time we stop pushing those people aside just because theyre a supposed minority. not all but many people who dont want kids change their minds, yes, but it is NOT YOUR PLACE to say that. by telling someone who wants to remain childfree, that they will "eventually change their mind", is directly devaluing their current desires and decisions, so stop it.

i just- please understand that having kids is a huge responsibility and one you cannot go back from, so unless you have healed your own trauma (same with ur partner) and have a stable relationship with your partner, im begging u to not have kids. TOO MANY people come from broken homes because their parents didnt know better and it boils my blood that that is the case. if we are taught this stuff in educational institutions, i can guarantee that the number of people traumatised by their parents would decrease.

also !! people have much more rational reasons to NOT have kids than to have them tbh. be it mental health, no desire, generational trauma, etc. im not shitting on people who want kids, but im just being realistic.

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secretbangtnn · 3 years

Text

summary : Getting a letter from a very prestigious school was something that you could have never expect, and even more unexpected was that you didn’t need to pay a penny for it. Beautiful news that were too good to be true, but oh how stupid you were to not question such a perfect chance to get away from your shitty life.

notes:

Guys i would be more than happy for some feedback, its my first time writing in english and im more than nervous. Im not sure if what i wrote is good or even understandable. + i would be more than happy to start an ask game with this book

Chapter one

Living or in your case existing was always somehow calm. Everything you do had a plan and everyday had the same pattern, like a boring vase that stood in the same kitchen you actually were. Blue marble tiles awfully similar to tears that run down the woman's cheeks, making them a little bit more redder than before.

Not that they weren't that color before, always blushy and ready to be seen. And maybe that's why you had that sour taste in your mouth while watching them, knowing that your own were as beautifully red as hers.

"why?" a simple question sounding now like the last call for help. Voice groggy and nose runny making the sight before even more unbearable to look at. But why weren't you moved, why the tears didn't make you guality like they should. "you planned this?! You planned to leave me alone like a selfish bastard!"

Looking down didn't seem like the best option, knowing that it could just take the nerves in the room to a whole new level but you could not stop yourself. She was always one to guilt trip you into everything.

A little shout left the chapped mouth making you jump a little while lifting your head simultaneously. Sight before you seems to worsen and as you took a step back the woman took another two in the end catching your small wrist in her clawed hand.

Hissing and looking dead in her eyes made you somehow more conscious of the whole situation.

“I didn’t know.” and you really did not. Gritting your teeth so hard that it felt like some of them could fall out at any moment seems to stop you from doing sudden movements.

Breathe in and breathe out.

“Of course you think I am stupid! Just like your father, bringing me to insanity step by step. But that’s what you wanted from the beginning, am I right?”

“Stop being delusional mom” Oh how hard it was to say the name of that woman. Mother of child that she forgets most of the time, only to remember at the most shitty time. Today was exactly one of the examples of why your dream was just to wake up not seeing or better not having to think of that woman.

“Am i now? It’s you who wants me like this.” She laughed, throwing her head back in the motion. Elegant column of her neck now easy to see, showing purple and red marks similar to those from claws. “You thought I would not know, you thought you could just run away like a scared little child. Now tell me, how long were you planning this o-or maybe it was your father’s plan from the beginning.”

“I didn’t know about it, I didn’t even apply to any of the schools and you are the one that should know that.” toxicity leaked from your voice in big streams, but it was something that u could not stop at that moment. She was doing it again, acting crazy and psycho making everyone question why she wasnt getting hospital help yet.

“So you are saying that it’s my fault? You were supposed to care for me, for your ill mother, not that you are useful for anything else. How could you even think of disappearing, going to school so far away and leaving me to rot here myself like you were not meant to end like this too!”

Snatching your hand you looked at the woman once again, tears in eyes making you look fragile. Her own body looking weak, nearly dead limbs hanging from a malnourished body, showing the world wrack of a woman she was. Complexion ill looking, but what was not in her case, pale looking with green, purple and blue spots everywhere the skin was shown.

“Why are you being so shocked? Don’t tell me you thought you were going to leave someday.” Her laugh made you grit your teeth, jaw starting to hurt from the tension you were keeping. “Once again you showed how foolish you are, just like your father, just like that scumbag.”

“You are insane.”

“That we already know, so why don’t you come back to your room and start preparing for tomorrow. I want to eat a really nice breakfast next morning and maybe then after we can talk about what job you are going to have to make a living for us.”

And that was your sign to go, not looking back at the sick smirk on your mother mouth momocking your whole being. Step by step you saw the old stairs, in some place missing the color. Your room was nothing special, at least that what people said, for you it was some type of heaven. Peace that you could only catch while being there, laying on your old bed while looking at the dull ceiling.

Closing the door, you exchaled a heavy breath, sliding down on the flat surface of the door. Eyes closed like you have always done after an intense situation, today was not an exception to that.

Asking yourself what just happened, how and why. Unconsciously you looked at the letter beside you, laying so weirdly on the piece of not carpeted floor. The big fault in a little piece of paper. It was funny how this thing made such a bad influence on your life just by arriving on your doorstep.

The fact that the only person you could compare yourself to now is a story character of the name Harry was nearly not as funny as it sounded. However how u can explain getting a letter from a prestigious school you for sure did not apply or even looked up not even thinking about getting a scholarship to having a chance to think about it.

By any chance you were not stupid, but your ambitions flew away with another day in this shit hole you called home. Main reason being your own mother, which not only made it clear but for sure would kill you faster than let you leave.

You took the letter, keeping it in your hand like some unknown object you have never seen before. The texture itself is weird, making you shiver in some way. Big letter stood on the black piece of paper meaning only one thing.

Oh yes, that definitely was unsetting.

You remember clearly the first time you read the words that were put in this blank envelope. Big chance waiting for you, welcoming you with big arms and assuring you that you have nothing to be scared of.

And maybe those words were the one that brought you to that situation. It was not even three hours after the fight with your mother. Sun long down now moon shining on your pale face. Packing everything you tried to be quiet and quick hoping that your mother again ate too much of those big pills.

Big bag now laying down on your bed with a small letter beside it looking as innocent as before. You were not even seventeen making decisions that would cost you more then you can imagine. Living hell with possibility of going to another but in that moment nothing mattered like running away from old monsters.

Floor cracked under your feet even thought you were considered as a lightweight. How could you not be so malnourished when your mother forced you to teach yourself how to cook, never letting you eat before her. You tried to reason her moods or harsh behaviour to you but no matter how many times you tried it always ended in another reason why your life was just simply sad.

Running away was a good decision. You tried to say it so many times to actually believe in those empty words. The truth was that you were an innocent little child, not even a full adult that has never tasted a social life or had a friend.

“It will be alright.” Taste on your tongue after saying this a little sour with a heavy backpack danglin on your right arm. One step and then another, you touched the cold handle of your white doors. It was the first move to make and probably one of the hardest.

Bag on your arm is even more heavy making you realise what is happening. Silent breath flowed past your lips preparing you for your next step.

You pushed it closing it carefully while hoping that the oldish touch to the wood wont make an appearance in a loud noise. Silly smile now seen on your face with big relief in the back of your mind. The hardest part was just before you.

Your mothers room, not fully closed - like always, she needed to make sure nobody would come uninvited. It was just one of her weird characteristics that came with such a messed up mental health.

Small noise came out under your feet, not loud enough to wake up the woman next door but audible enough to be heard from closer.

Photos all around you telling you that you were getting near the main door. Little pictures with you inside faded from ears of hanging, making you stop for a while.

Smooth glass now under your fingers as you touch a specific photo. You and your mother being in the green garden of your grandmas. Happy vibe and pretty smiles now nearly unbelievable to witness on either of faces. It hurted or maybe it was just the adrenaline escaping from a sudden stop.

Oh how the sweet monet was quickly destroyed by the harsh noise from one of the rooms, and you exactly know which one. Loud thud rang out in the quietness of the house, making the silence even more noticable. Your breath escaped leaving you in a big ball of nerves and anxiety.

One...two...three

Silence like the one before big storms but maybe just this time it was not that. You couldn't withdraw now, you were too far and too close to the feeling of freeness. So you did the only thing that came to your mind.

Catching a sliding backpack, you turned to the door in front of you, knowing that just behind them is waiting something so much bigger than your old mother. How stupid for you to not rethink your decision, and believing your innocent mind that its just a good thing, better life that could only make you happier.

So you did it, you took the heavy steps that echoed in the narrow corridor. Light breeze touched your face, and just like the first time you gasped at the feeling. Door closing not that gently as you started running as fast as you could.

Silly smile now on your face with a bouncing bag on your shoulders keeping you on the hard ground. It was feeling similar to the first sight of the ocean or the first taste of sweet ice cream on a hot summery morning. You were in ecstasy choked by the overwhelming emotions.

And maybe because of that you were completely unaware of the danger that waited for you on that chilly night. How could you think about it when everything seemed so distracting almost as you were dreaming and in that moment you probably were closer to believing in this being a slumber.

So as you sat on the cold bench of one of the parks near your home, realization finally came silencing your beating heart. Colder weather now felt more real, as it bit your rosy cheeks. You shivered, keeping your backpack on your lap, trying to hide behind it from a chilly wind that seemed like it came from every side.

Being alone hit you like a truck and the little noises of the night didn't help your rising nerver. You started to lose your breath, feeling your tears sliding down your numb cheeks. It was terrifying now with the knowledge of your wellbeing and adrenaline wearing off with every second.

“Mom?” A silent plea that came out of your lips with shakiness that was more than noticeable. You didn't know why you said that, but the woman was probably the only person you knew. Such a sad truth that you needed to understand. You were alone now, and with that thought a more shameless sobs left your mouth with an occasional whimper.

You were sure you were going to end up dead. That you won't see the new sunset with how your body shivered. Not knowing how life worked or what is bad or good you were a little lamb that waited for hungry wolves to eat her whole.

And maybe one of those predators just saw his next meal. Long strides brought him just in front of you. Your sobs are too loud to make you hear his boots coming closer and closer. His breath just centimeters away from your head, brushing your hair like the not forgotten wind.

“Sweetheart?” It was a calming voice, not too deep but definitely belonging to a grown man. Your posture momentaly stiffened, as your closed eyes now looked at the big leather shoes before you. Your whole body is not moving, only shivering because of the chilly weather and light clothes. It was funny how suddenly you have forgotten about being alone, now wanting just this, wishing for all of this to be a big nightmare.

A deep sight left man's lips reminding you about the realness of the whole situation. You could not move, completely scared, your fingers clutched the bad praying for something to happen. The plan to just act like you were not there, ignoring the man fastly ended, when he sighted once again and crouched just to your eye level.

Deep brown eyes, looking at you with nothing but softness. If you didn’t know better you would say the man looked as if he knew you, cared and was in big relief finding you. But your mother's words echoed in your head, making you believe that every man walking on this planet is bad.

“What are you doing here sweetheart?” Once more this deep voice pierced you. Your mouth opens to answer, deeply knowing that nothing will come out. You just looked in his dark eyes, wishing that maybe he will be the one who can read minds. His eyes now on you, more concerned than before, observing your shivering body.

He was tall and broad for sure, towering over your figure surprisingly even while crouching down. His huge shoulders covered by a creamy coat which now was getting dirty by laying down on a pavement, as it partly hid his expensive looking boots.

Too distracted you didn't notice his hand coming to touch your red cheek, now gently stroking the redness of your skin.

“What a poor soul, so cold and left alone without a coat. Tell me sweetheart would you come and let me warm you a little?”

#poly bts #bts fic rec #bts fanfction #yandere bts #bts ot7 x reader #ot7 x reader #bangta boys #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #yoongi x you #namjoon fanfic #seokjin x oc #hoseok x reader #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader

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shhhlikeme · 4 years

Note

hello!! i really loved your hq writing and i think they were pretty spot on! do u mind writing abt a reader who’s basically a first year version of kiyoko (like everyone is attracted to her) and all the first years are just into her but come to find out she’s been dating yamaguchi all this time ? jealous yams maybe? sorry if it’s too specific🥺👉🏼👈🏼

Yamaguchi Tadashi x Really Sexy Yoga Instructor S/O

———————————

A/N: Thank you so much anon! You’re speaking my language with this request😍

It sounds a lot like the first ever request I got here, so this can be seen as a part two, or read as a stand alone. I hope you like it!!!

Not NSFW, but please only read if you’re over 18 y/o.

———————————

Yams, your beloved boyfriend of a few months will be the first to admit that he made a mistake volunteering you to help his volleyball team

About a month ago, Coach Ukai felt as though the team was way too pent up and ordered his players to indulge in some calming activities on one of the no-practice days with the goal of making the team less irritable

The coach found that Yoga would be a great solution

Coach Ukai had read that the benefits of Yoga include but are not limited to: increased flexibility, increased muscle strength and tone, improved respiration, more energy and vitality, maintenance of a balanced metabolism, improved athletic performance, protection from injury, overall relaxation and stress relief.

Ukai thought that yoga was a no-brainer because if Karasuno was going to win the National tournament, then they had to adopt unconventional means in order to get an edge on the competition

Unfortunately, Takeda, the volleyball club’s advisor, couldn’t exactly find the budget to get the entire team signed up for weekly yoga sessions at the big studio downtown

Aw man :(

But fear not! smh

Your boyfriend to the team’s rescue! Great 😑

Thank goodness for your sweet baby 👍🏾 not

He’s just too caring for his own good isn’t he? You wish he’d stop

Because he..... well, lucky for Karasuno, your boyfriend Yamaguchi happily suggested that the team goes to the Karasuno High School’s Yoga Club sessions at the local community centre. The community centre hosts great swim, cooking, and even archery lessons! It would be perfect because it would be within budget and the 7am yoga sessions were always empty, because not many people knew about them.

“How do you know they’re legit? I don’t want my players getting hurt because some kids think it’s fun to twist n’ contort their bodies —“ Inquired coach Ukai. The entire team turned to Tadashi, awaiting his response.

Your annoying sweet man explained that all of the Yoga club members are certified by Japanese Health Standards and they are well-versed in their instructing, it was kind of the point of the club. He was sure the club would love the volleyball team’s company

Your boyfriends’ coach’s face lit up. When Ukai’s next question pertained to how tf Tadashi knew all of this, that’s finally when his face fell

Oops.

He’s so cute He wanted to help so badly he forgot that this could be a bad idea

How did he know all this? Well, maybe because his girlfriend of 3 months, you, run the damn club. And he knows everything about you because he’s whipped.

However, Tadashi couldn’t exactly tell them that was the reason because he is very private and didn’t want to introduce his beautiful girlfriend to guys that were sure to drool over her

Plus he wanted to make sure you weren’t in a daze when he confessed to you, testing whether one day you’ll wake up & realize you made a big mistake

Yamaguchi, quick on his feet, just said that you were his friend and you ran the club.

They believed it obviously, and that’s how it all started

Since there were multiple morning Yoga sessions, Coach Ukai divided the team into years for mandatory session attendance. The first years were scheduled for Monday’s at 7am, the second years on Wednesday’s (same time) and the 3rd years were on Fridays (same time).

You were late to your first session with the boys because even though Yams told you the team would start coming (and to keep your relationship a secret) you were used to being the only one here doing Yoga

You were only slightly startled when you opened the door to your beloved studio and saw Karasuno volleyball’s first years: Tsukishima, Kageyama, Hinata and your beautiful man Yams sitting down on Yoga mats patiently.

You cheerily introduced yourself and greet everyone, finding yourself happy to have the company

Yamaguchi was the only one to verbally greet you back, because the other boys were staring at you with what you would deem odd expressions

Yams noticed his solo greeting too and looked over to his teammates. He frowned because he knew the look on their faces and the lack of a voice very well.

How could he not? It was the same reaction he had when he saw you for the first time he was sure you came out of his wet dreams

You are so hot, and now his fellow first years were noticing

Yams pouted inside

Anyway, the same way you didn’t notice when Yamaguchi had that stare when you two met, you just got straight to business, setting down your pink yoga mat and water bottle and explaining all the rules.

It’s a good thing yoga sessions are supposed to be silent with only the sounds of the rain forest playing loud through the rooms speakers because I don’t think the boys could have spoken anyway

You did basic yoga stretches and had the boys follow your every movement

As you showed them the simple beginner poses, Tadashi caught Hinata and Kageyama sneaking glances at your figure with heavy blushes on their faces

If Tsukki thought you were attractive, which omfg did he ever, he didn’t show it in the slightest

Yamaguchi was happy to call him his best friend

The quick-attack boys could not say the same

Like the schoolboys they are, they relished in seeing a gorgeous female’s flexible body easily contort in front of them

Tadashi noted that, for two of the most intensely competitive people he knew, the two were peculiarly a little TOO happy with not doing any of the yoga poses correctly, he could guess why

You, still clueless, walked around the room to help the boys get into correct positioning platonically, the way every Yoga instructor does.

Tadashi on the other hand, was doing so well and you badly wished you could kiss him whenever you moved his body but you were respecting his wishes to keep you two a secret

Kags and Shōyō almost had internal panic attacks when you touched them or got close

They weren’t the greatest with girls but they were especially bad when one of the prettiest and fittest girls they’ve ever encountered was touching them and whispering in their ears to ‘turn like this’ ‘open up a bit more’ because of how quiet yoga should be

The combustion train has left the building! Choo choo 💨

You laughed when volleyball duo boys started shoving each other when Hinata fell out of a pose and landed on Kags

Tadashi’s eyes narrowed because he selfishly didn’t want you laughing at anything those boys did. Nevertheless, he shook it off

Maybe it will get better once the initial shock of your hotness wears off, Yams thought to himself when he left Yoga that morning.

Sure, because that’s how it worked with Kiyoko right?

Yeah, right. The following Monday you were still hot and the boys were still drooling over you.

At real volleyball practices and at lunch time Yamaguchi has to constantly hear the team (minus Tsukishima) gush about how attractive you are and how it wasn’t so bad waking up early in the morning if you were the view they were getting up to see

Now, Tadashi would definitely describe himself as a pretty calm guy......as would anyone who knows him......

But hearing his friends gush about you like you weren’t the smartest, most creative, genuine, conscientious person...... just an ideal body and gorgeous face not that they would know evoked jealous emotions deep within him

On dates with you he would inquire about the other volleyball yoga sessions you taught and you would tell him truthfully that your class of 3rd years were always fine, well behaved and very quiet because they were too busy fantasizing about you in their heads to talk dkm

and then you told your boyfriend that 2 of the second years were pretty flirty take a wild guess who? But that the one boy named Ennoshita got them to simmer down and then stop with the comments completely

Tadashi made a mental note to do a favour for his future captain

He was beginning to get irritated with the way these strong amazing athletes that he looked up to were reduced to goo when his girlfriend came around

He knew it was irrational to be so upset because he was sure they would chill out if they knew she was his girlfriend but

He just wasn’t ready for that yet.

So he endured the comments because even though the team was full of hormonone-crazy males, they never were vulgar or disrespectful in their remarks that was saved for all of their dreams and shower time

Either way,

None of that could stop the locker room talk.

“Did Y/N teach you guys the puppy dog stretch too this week?” Chirped Nishinoya as he bounced on the balls of his feet. The boys nodded. “Man is she s-m-o-k-i-n-g or what?? Don’t you think so, Asahi?”

Yams looked over from his locker to see the quiet and timid Ace of the team unable to help sporting a blush and nodding in agreement to Nishinoya.

Tadashi did NOT like this conversation. He took to chugging his water in order to distract himself from saying something he was sure to regret

“I-I really like Y/N’s yoga pants. They’re really cool!”

Kageyama rolled his eyes at Hinata's comment. “Of course you do, Boke.”

“Keep dreaming short stack!” Hollered Tanaka as he hopped in a super man pose on top of a bench. “For I will one day marry Y/N!”

Uncontrollably, Yamaguchi’s entire liquid contents in his mouth drenched Sugawara’s back in a spit take. Everyone laughed.

Let’s just say Karasuno’s vice captain made Yams do laps until his legs felt like they would fall off

By the third week, poor Yamaguchi had it up to HERE with the team’s pining after his girl.... be it Daichi’s subtle suggestion to the coach to extend AND increase the amount of yoga sessions, to Nishinoya’s memorization of the exact colour of your lip gloss per session

Yams actually growled under his breath when he heard both I swear to God

Yamaguchi felt like he was going to burst if he didn’t wring any necks first .

The entire team was smitten with his secret girlfriend and it made him insanely jealous. He couldn’t deny it anymore.

You were his. And only his. He wished he never volunteered you to help the team in the first place!

On your dates as a couple, you noticed that Yams was much more tense than he used to be before you started instructing the team. You told him over and over that you would quit this very second because he was so much more important than some silly club. You even suggested easily swapping with your second-in-command as instructor but

He wouldn’t have any of that. Apparently the team was already improving significantly in skill from Yoga like the Coach predicted. You are the best instructor your club had, and his team needed the best.

Plus he knows you love doing it and he puts your happiness before his own

The situation just sucked!

On the final yoga session before nationals, you arranged for the entire team to conjoin in one single morning session that would be longer at two hours instead of one, to go through everything they have learned in a mass session. It was also to make sure the numbers were even because today would be strictly focused on Partner Yoga!

The crows filed in to your studio, excited to see you and set up as usual

You walked in and told them about the partner yoga, and before they could volunteer to be your partner and upset your boyfriend, you told everyone you already had a partner and gestured toward the studio entryway:

Kiyoko walked in with a wave at her introduction and she spread her yoga mat next to you facing the class

They said 😳😳😳😳🤯🤯🤯🤯

The entire room was silent. Everyone minus Tsukki and your boyfriend combusted. Like they were done

Remember that combustion train? Yeah it just arrived at its destination: Nosebleed Central.

The boys’ little minds couldn’t fathom two extremely hot girls in compromising, stretchy positions that would look anything but innocent in their male minds

It was kind of a dream come true

You didn’t care that they were acting weird and you started the session, telling the boys to pair up and follow yours and Kiyoko’s lead

Even Yams started to feel hot and bothered at the sight of the multiple positions

he always felt horny watching you instruct yoga but he was able to satiate his lust by reminding himself that you told him you want to sleep with him when he was ready, even though you were taking it slow. he’s always blushing so none of the guys ever thought anything if it

Satiating himself with that thought again, though, flew out the window as an option because you just looked too incredibly hot in partner positions. It got to the point where he wanted to kick Kiyoko out so you could practice these yoga positions with him

He wanted to be the one to put your leg on his shoulder as he pounded into your heat, not Kiyoko no matter how hottttttttt it was to look at

Suga used his fingers to flick Tadashi on the forehead to get his attention away from his secret girlfriend and back to the yoga positions he should be trying with him

“Dude.... trust me, I know, and I agree...” Suga nods in understanding as he glances over at the beautiful girls once more. It takes a good amount of effort for him to peel his eyes back to Yamaguchi. “But we have to do this. Try to pretend they’re not as hot as they are.” He gives your bf a thumbs up for encouragement

Yams didn’t smile back even though he commenced yoga again like his vice captain requested. Yams just wanted all of this to be over so he could somehow sneak you into one of the abandoned rooms in this community centre and take you right there.

Since Kiyoko was only there to demonstrate the positions and not join the class because she had other commitments, she had to leave pretty early

You went around helping everyone like you usually did, and now you definitely noticed how red all the boys’ cheeks were. Yams couldn’t even look at you the entire time he did yoga with Suga and you started to wonder if you did something wrong. Hm.....

Yams couldn’t look at you because he was using every ounce of his restraint to keep from jumping your bones

Before long, Y/N’s final yoga session was nearing completion until you realized that you had forgotten to demonstrate the final pose when Kiyoko was here.

Glancing at your boyfriend who was giving you the cold shoulder, you timidly asked if anyone minded being your partner to demonstrate—

Like zoo animals, all of the boys volunteered!!! You yelped because of how loud they got in the quiet room in a split second.

Does it matter who you choose?

Yamaguchi felt himself boil over in jealousy. These boys were throwing themselves at the woman who means everything to him, and that was enough to drive any man to the brink of insanity.

While the boys bickered about who would be your partner Hinata and Nishi already started the Rock Paper Scissors tournament, including the usually collected captains, Tadashi briskly made his way towards you with purpose. Without even thinking about it he cupped your face with one of his hands and tilted your lips towards his for a deep kiss.

You felt your knees weaken at the intensity of the unexpected kiss from the love of your life.

Yams wrapped an arm around your waist to hold you steady when he felt your knees weaken.

You two barely heard the collective gasp in the room...

...Nor did you hear Tsukki mutter a flat “I knew it.”

When you finally pulled away from your boyfriends perfect lips, you were still drunk off the kiss while he remembered where you two were

With an aura of manly confidence that could only come from the overwhelming satisfaction of giving into the animalistic urge to claim your mate in front of other males, Yamaguchi turned to his team. Shoulders back and confident, he smiled smugly

“Did I forget to tell you all that Y/N is my girlfriend? I’d appreciate if all the endless comments about how beautiful she is would cease to exist, at least around me. She’s very much taken. Oh, and I, ONLY I....will be her partner. Thanks.”

Ok can you imagine how fucking sexy shy Yams would look being strict, intimidating and completely territorial over you? 🤤

Karasuno’s team was stunned into silence before Nishinoya started a slow clap applause like they do in the movies.

Only Tanaka joined in with him. The rest of the team is not that lame

You, on the other hand, got so turned on by your boyfriend display of protection and jealousy that you muttered that class was over and you used your hand to turn Yams attention back to you. You got on the tips of your toes to pull him into another passionate kiss again.

You loved it.

Seeing this side of him stirred up a lot of emotions in you and you couldn’t help but ask your boyfriend if he wanted to skip school today. Your parents weren’t going to be home for 2 days and you had the house to yourself.

With half lidded eyes that only served to turn you on more Yamaguchi agreed.

I hope he knows that he was in for a really long and pleasurable day and night.....you were about to put those years of yoga training to good use, and your boyfriend couldn’t be luckier.

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behindyourbarrette · 3 years

Text

like you a latte - matcha latte

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pairing: spencer reid x fem reader

a/n: SURPRISE i felt like dropping this a DAY early!!lololololol but here it is! i appreciate the love on the last two parts so so soooo much :) can’t beliEVE WE ARE HALFWAY DONE!! reblog if u enjoyed

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Needless to say, Twilight Time isn’t very crowded on Thursday afternoons.

You rarely pick up closing shifts anymore—for reasons totally unrelated to the doctor who almost exclusively arrives in the morning—but you’re covering for Sally, and it’s a nice day out. The rain has let up in favor of mild weather, the sun just barely peeking through the clouds as people drift past the shop. Despite the fact that there’s more foot traffic on the street, not many people come in to order. You don’t blame them. Why have hot coffee on a day like this?

Your back is turned when you hear a group enter, and your heart soars at the prospect of tips. For whatever reason, most people are more inclined to tip when they know their friends are watching. You call out to let them know you’ll be right with them, and after you’re done fidgeting with the settings of the coffee grinder, you turn.

It’s Spencer. But he’s not alone.

There are a total of four people before you, each intimidating you in slightly different ways. They’re all agents, as evidenced by their not-so-concealed carries. You recognize a few of the characters. Spencer’s told you about JJ, who you assume to be the friendly blonde, and Penelope, who is a vision in fuchsia. That leaves Emily, who’s whispering to JJ, eyes fixed on you. You try to absorb the sight, them together. Spencer looks at ease, a wide smile on his face as he looks between you and the group.

“Hey, Spencer. These your coworkers?” You crack a nervous smile, knitting your fingers together. He nods, introducing them each in turn. JJ grins in your direction, and Penelope waves at you with a fingerlessly-gloved hand. Emily reaches across the bar to shake your hand. You get the sense that there’s something Spencer hasn’t told you.

“What can I get you guys?”

Spencer shrugs, defaulting to JJ and Emily. Penelope pipes up, eyes bright as she peers at the menu above you.

“Do you have matcha, sweetheart? I’ve been meaning to try that. It’s great for your skin.” You nod, pulling a cup out and inscribing Penelope’s name on it. JJ and Emily both order americanos, exchanging a sheepish grin. After setting their cups aside, you turn to Spencer.

“Genius, you should really try the matcha. It’ll give you brain power. Not that you need any more.” Penelope does jazz hands to emphasize her excitement, and Spencer shrugs. You watch them interact for a moment before you realize he’s turned to you for your approval.

“Oh. I really like matcha. It’s green tea, and a matcha latte tastes light and sweet. I think you’d like it.” He nods, and orders it hot. Penelope orders iced; you smile as you consider that they compliment each other, eventually turning away to prepare everyone’s drinks. They’re all relatively simple, and you manage to include latte art in the hot drinks. Spencer’s is last, and you flick your wrist to finish the design. Crossing the bar, you hand each agent their drink in turn.

Penelope sips at her drink first, the bright green matching one of her rings perfectly. Spencer eyes his dubiously, poking at it with a wooden stirring stick.

“It’s very green.” He whispers to Penelope, who cackles in response.

JJ catches your eye as you watch, lingering between the bar and their seats. With a smile, she waves you over.

“You’ve totally ruined other coffee for Spence. We had to come try it for ourselves.” She whispers, leaning down. You aren’t sure how to feel about her tone; there’s a glint of something in her eye, something playfully secretive. You’re not sure what part of this you’re not in on.The idea of Spencer mentioning you at all is foreign—sure, you’ve told your roommates, and your coworkers found out that you do, in fact, have a favorite regular. Still, you never considered the idea that you bleed into other parts of his life. You steal a glance at him while JJ compliments her americano. He’s sipping at his matcha, a green mustache left behind.

“You have a magic touch, Y/N. I don’t think I’ve ever had coffee this good in the states.” Emily flashes you a grin as if she can sense your nervousness. You relax a little, asking her about her work abroad instead of getting lost in your head. She strikes you as a diplomat, and a compliment from her feels like something to be savored. Penelope raves to you about the health benefits of matcha, and you immediately feel welcomed by her. If you were to run a study comparing the approachability between pink polka dots and pantsuits, you're sure that polka dots would win.

“Are you an agent, too?” You ask, stirring your own iced coffee with a straw. Eyeing the clock, you’ve decided that this counts as your break. Tyler be damned. Penelope giggles, shaking her head.

“Oh God no. Well, technically. I’m a technical analyst, so I work on the computer and tech end of things.” She explains, and you nod. It makes a lot of sense. While both JJ and Emily exude the energy of most cops—authoritative, with a critical eye—Garcia does’t fit that mold. It’s this that draws you to her.

You learn that JJ has a son named Henry, a surprisingly Southern boyfriend to match, and that Emily has a cat named Sergio. Despite their highbrow titles, you don’t feel out of place. It’s easy to sip at your coffee, the cup cool against your fingertips, and listen.

“Are you in school? Spence mentioned that you majored in literature.” JJ sets her cup down, flexing her fingers against the air. You feel yourself flush now that the attention is on you. The fact that he chose this detail to divulge sticks between your ribs. You haven't told him much about your work—he insisted on reading your thesis, and even reread the source material to better discuss it with you—but apparently, what you have discussed has made an impression.

“Yeah, actually. I’m in my second year of law school.” You admit. Emily nods in approval, reaching out to high five you.

“Damn. With all the assholes you deal with in customer service, you’ll make a great attorney.” You high five her with a small smile on your face, stealing a glance at Spencer. He seems elated, clearly enjoying the dynamic he’s observing.

“Do you want to go into criminal law?”

JJ asks, eyes wide with curiosity. You shake your head ruefully. They take it well, shrugging their shoulders. To their credit, their branch of law enforcement deals with the process prior to prosecution. You shudder at the idea of what happens after they catch the bad guys.

“No, not really. I’m looking at either the entertainment or environmental sector.”

The group murmurs, and the conversation devolves into small talk about law. You look to Spencer for an escape, and he suggests that they take a walk. Once the girls have trickled out of the room, each hugging you goodbye, you’re left alone with Spencer.

“Hey.”

You laugh at the simplicity of his greeting, turning to toss your empty coffee cup into the trash. Spencer flushes a deep shade of red, raking his hands through his hair.

“Your friends aren’t how I expected. Really cool, though. Especially for like, Quantico professionals.” You wipe the counter down, and the reality that you’re on the clock hits you, a little dizzily. Did his coworkers really just want to meet Spencer’s barista? The realization tastes a little bitter, and you bite back any further questioning in favor of looking up at him.

“Yeah. They’re like family.” He looks out the window, hands deep in his pockets. His whole demeanor is stiff, and you resist the urge to reach out and force his shoulders down from his ears.

“Did you like the matcha? I wasn’t sure you would. I used the oat milk you like.” Slowly, he relaxes. With a small smile, he nods.

“It was good. I like most teas, I’m finding. It wasn’t too sweet.” You add matcha to the mental list you keep, of drinks he likes. It’s become your mission to expand it. In the months since he started branching out, you’ve managed to add a few drinks to his core rotation.

“You know you’re one of my friends too, right?”

This catches you off guard. You pause in the motion of sweeping the floor, carefully raising your eyes to meet his. While nervous, he sounds sincere. When met with your silence, he continues.

“I just wanted you to know.”

You nod carefully. The implications of this are something you’ll consider later, when you’re alone. He’s only confirming something you’ve already known, but something about it stings. The word crosses your mind briefly, but it sticks. It’s bittersweet.

“I know.” Your voice is low, soft against the din of the coffee shop. Spencer doesn’t look satisfied, opening his mouth to say something then closing it again. He glances between you and the window.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

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