#maybe i'll draw a pt 2 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tan1shere · 2 months

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Changes pt 2

Ellie Williams x female reader !

A/n: it's here at last ... I hope you all enjoy it I honestly don't have much to say but, pt 3 ? Also this whole idea was inspired by a show slightly, if you can guess what it is down below I'll give you a kiss 😁!!

Summary: Ellies the bad girl in the school but she takes a liking to the reader, everyone's worried but the reader somehow changes her for the better ... or does she ?

Warnings: drinking, smoking, the mention of drugs like once. Swearing ? Mentions of anxiety and a beginning panic attack ! Think that's all :)

Masterlist || pt 1 ! Pt 3 !

A few weeks had past, and your bond with Ellie grew even stronger. You spent most of your time with her, although that wasn't very liked by the people around you. "She's gunna hurt you Y/n." Your roommate, Angela warns for what felt like the hundredth time. You know you should probably listen, but maybe Ellie just hasn't been around the right sort of people. Maybe she's changed. You were convinced that's what it was. As you started to get to know Ellie you learnt she was actually quite smart. She knew so much, but she constantly turned up late to classes. Never paid attention. You were confused as to why, she was so talented and bright, why would anyone throw something like that away.

You were currently walking down the halls on your way to your favorite place, yes ofcourse the library. It was like your home away from home. As you walk in you spot Ellie sitting there, doing her usual dribbles and doodles. "Whatcha doin there?" You beam at her as you sit down in a chair close to hers. She looks up at you and gives you a smile. "Just sketching, nothing exciting." She continues to look at you as you get a few things out. "How's the book?" She asks, setting a pencil she held on the table infront of you both. "Its the best, I've been reading it non-stop." You smile more at the question. She just smiles at your smile. "Told you, it's such a good read." A silence filled the air, not an awkward one, or a comfortable one. Just a silence, one that was as if there was something still to be said. You could feel it, so you look up at her. She was just looking at you, admiringly. But for some reason she stops, clearing her throat a little bit and getting back to her drawing. Odd? Maybe a little.

Ellie knew she wasn't the relationship type. She knew she wasn't classed as 'good' she knew she flunked on many things. She knew this. So why does it feel like she's feeling something for you. That never happens, she uses people- as bad as that sounds she won't sugar coat it, she knows she's done wrong. Is she going to do it to you too? She had no idea and the thought honestly frightened her, she's never felt this way for anyone in her life. She needed to put those thoughts aside she couldn't fall. But oh how beautiful she thought you were. Your hair looked so well taken care of, perfect features. Not too much makeup just light amounts, your pretty skin and how soft it genuinely looked. Minding your own business as you read, focusing on what it is you're reading. She couldn't, this isn't good. Especially when she has no faith in herself to not hurt you. But she couldn't give it up, she wanted to be in your presence you were so sweet and inviting it made her feel warm.

She had to not give into all these feelings at all. "Ellie?" You tilt your head slightly to get a better look at her face. You two were currently in her room working on something that was assigned to the both of you. She wasn't paying attention which you found out was normal for her to tube out and go into her little land. "Yeah sorry, just thinking." You slowly nod, continuing to speak about the project. She let's out a sigh. "I'm sorry am I boring you?" You let out a light hearted giggle as you say that, she begins to get defensive. Worried she had hurt you in some way. "No no no, ofcourse not! The complete opposite. Sorry I'm just a bit tired." She admits. You still laugh a tiny bit. "I'm just being silly Els." She swallows. That name that you acquired recently, makes her insane.

But definitely in a good way, she loves it. Was she a fool for you or something. You go to speak again, but shut your mouth. It had been dawning on you, the question you wanted to ask so badly. So you just come out and ask. "Why are you always ditching classes, why aren't you applying yourself?" She looks directly at you as you say this. She just shrugs. "You're incredibly smart Ellie. I don't know why you're-" You continue, although she shuts it down. "I really don't want to talk about this." She blurts, making you shut up for a sec. "Yeah no ofcourse." Awkward silence, but she breaks it with yet another sigh. "I'm sorry that was harsh." You just shake your head. "No no, I shouldn't of been nosey, it's not my business." You give her a tiny smile. Yet again. More silence.

"Right well, we shou-" "you want a smoke?" You were stunned by the question. You watch as she gets up. It was a little upsetting to see her not care about this project. "Elli-" She turns around. "Oh yeah no ofcourse, I shouldn't of asked." "El-" But she wasn't done. "That was a silly question, you don't seem like the type to do th-" "ELLIE." The room went quiet, she just looks at you. "Will you just shut up for a second." You laugh slightly. "Why are you avoiding this project?" She shrugs. She really likes doing that, huh. "I dunno, it's stupid." You furrow your brows slightly. "But this would be so easy for you Els." Theres that name again. She begins to smoke whatever the fuck she is smoking, seemingly to ignore you. You roll your eyes a tiny bit, closing the books that you had in your grasp, while going to get up, and walk over to her. She watches you, continuing to smoke. However she wasn't expecting your next move.

You get on your tiptoes and snatch it out her hand. "Hey!" She stands up properly. You keep ahold of it. "I'll give it back once you do some of this work!" You laugh a bit. She looks at you. With a 'be so serious' look. "Like I can't just snatch it right back." She walks towards you slowly, making you back up. "Well I won't let ya." She lets out her own laugh. "Did you forget your hight?" You glare at her. "I am not, that short." She raises a brow, getting closer to you going to try grab it, but you swiftly move your arm so she can't. "I may be tiny but I'm smart." She goes to try again. "Yeah well so am I." Again, she tries and fails. "Well if you're so smart use it for the project." She completely ignores that deciding to bend down and put you over her shoulder. You let out a small screech, going to grip the cig a bit tighter so it doesn't fall.

She drops you on her bed being careful still, making you bounce slightly on the mattress. She goes for the cig now that you are more grounded, but yet again you move it so she couldn't. You let out a giggle at how difficult she's finding this. "Not funny, you." She tries. Again. You laugh more at her poor attempts. "Right that's it." She pins your arms down as you try get out of her grasp, but before she could do all that you put it in your mouth having it rest there. "Gunna have to unpin my arms if you want it." You mumble still having it against your lips. "You're trouble huh." You let out another laugh. She goes to unpin one of your arms and when she does you quickly grab te cigarette from your mouth and hold it above you.

You could see the slight frustration in her eyes, you try hard not to let another laugh slip. "Gimmie it." "Do the work." She stares at you for a moment. "Oh you wanna play games?" She wastes no time into tickling you. One thing she didn't know but definitely was going to find out is that you were incredibly ticklish. Your eyes widen. "No no noooo." She doesn't listen, continuing the assault to your sides, you squirm trying to escape it. "Ellie!" You let out constant giggles. She smirks seeing you weren't paying attention and snatching the cigarette right back into her grasp, sticking it back into her mouth. But she didn't stop tickling you. "Say you're sorry Missy!" You laugh more. "Hell no!" Shes close to you. "Then the tickling shall continue." You keep laughing and honestly. Ellie enjoys this.

She really enjoyed your laugh, she loved to hear it. The fact she could make you laugh so easily made her heart happy. She's never seen anyone else make you laugh like she has, and sometimes she doesn't even try. But she manages to always pull a laugh or giggle from your lips. "Ellie pleaseee." She shakes her head. "Stand down!" You laugh. "Fine fine I surrender, I'm sorry!" You're still laughing even when she's stopped. But like most times silence overcame this scene. It was never an awkward one though. You look at each other. "Can we do some of the project now." You ask her. She stays quiet for a bit. Pondering. "Come on Ellie, it's not much and it's not like you'd struggle or anything-" you cut your sentence short. You hadn't realized how close you two were, she's most definitely noticing this too. You swallow keeping the eye contact going.

But she takes the cigarette out, turns her head and blows some smoke, beginning to get off of you. "Can I ask you something?" You sit up a bit once shes off, nodding. "Yeah ofcourse." You were intrigued. "What do people tell you about me?" You look at her, wondering how to go about this. "They just tell me to be careful and such." Now you shrug, sitting up more into a criss cross position. "Can I ask a question now?" She looks at you and nods. "Why do they tell me that. What's so bad that you've done." That silence was upon the room again. Another famous Ellie sigh. "I'm not a completely great person, maybe I'm working on it I dunno. But I don't date. I can't it's just not in me." You listen to all she has to say. "Why?" Usually people who asked such questions would get shut down by her. But she genuinely wanted to tell you, she loved the way you'd listen, to anyone. The way you'd take in every detail of information. "I'm not too sure."

She sits on the bed with you. "I just don't know if I can bring myself to being committed to anyone. You know?" You nod, taking in what she has to say. "I dunno, maybe I haven't found the right person." You keep looking at her. "Hmm, maybe." Silence. "You think you ever could?" She sighs a tiny bit. "I could do, no way of truly telling until the time actually comes." "Noted." For the first time ever with you two, there was a slight awkwardness in the air. You wanted to say something to fix it but you just stay silent. "What about you?" You became confused by the question. "What about, me?" You inquire. "Yeah, you been with people? You a relationship kinda girl?" You laugh a tiny bit at the question. "I've been in a few, nothing serious but I definitely am a relationship girl." She nods, going to take one last drag of her cig, going to put it out in an ashtray on her windowsill.

It was a few days later, you were currently on your way to your dorm, Angie was out for the night so you had a hot date with your blankets and your book. As you were strolling down the halls you caught sight of a friend in your class, you smile at him. "Hey, kenny!" You say with joy. He returns the smile, coming over to you. "Hey Y/n, what you got planned for tonight?" "I'm going to relax, read and eat." You smile more. "How about you? Anything exciting?" He shrugs. "Probably going to chill also, or go to a party." You nod, knowing he was probably confused on why you were staying inside on a Friday night, you didn't really know each other very well so you aren't surprised if he is. "You keep to yourself alot huh?" You nod proud. "Sure do, keeps me sane." He laughs a tiny bit. "Well I mean not completely to yourself." You furrow your brows. "What do you mean?" He pauses for a sec, looking at you. "I see you with Williams alot." "Oh yeah, she's cool to hang out with." He doesn't say anything immediately.

"What are you two? Like fuck buddies or something?" More confusion. "Excuse me?" You laugh slightly. "Well I never see her with many people unless she's fucking them soo." You stare at him. "Do people think that? Like about me and her" He shrugs. "I know I do, maybe others. But what are you two?" Why was he so intrigued by it. You knew she didn't have a great rep but seriously? "Well shes a good friend." He thinks for a moment. "She don't have many of those." You were baffled by this man and what he had to say. "I guess you just truly don't know her then." You don't know why you felt so irritated by this, but you go to leave. "Don't start anything with her, you're too pure for her antics." You stop in your tracks, going to turn back around. "And don't judge a book by its cover." You simply state. "Bit hard when that cover hasn't had the best past." You sigh. "People change." "Not Williams. Trust me we all thought that once, there's no changing her-" you go to cut him off.

"What are you talking about." He looks at you as if he was the one confused now. "You don't know?" You shake your head. "This has happened before, she almost dated this girl who thought would change her, she shitted big time on her. She doesn't even go here anymore and it was all because of Williams." You didn't want to believe that, it sounded horrible. "I'm sure she didn't leave just because of that." There was a tiny pause. "Nope, definitely was. She broke that poor girls heart. Couldn't even bring herself to come back, so she moved. I'm just trying to save you from-" you shut that down immediately. "I can handle myself, thank you though. But I don't need you telling me this." He shrugs. "Alright, just letting you know before you get too far gone with her." And that was that you both turned to leave. Did everyone just hate this girl? How could almost the whole school be so against her. You try to ignore all of this, wanting to go read, that is until you get a text.

-Hey, you busy tonight?

Speak of the devil. It was Ellie. You couldn't help but smile at your phone.

-I was going to have a night of reading, but you're more than welcome to join me, my roommate isn't going to be there so it'd be nice and quiet.

-how could i possibly decline that generous offer ;) see you soon?

-bring a book! 🤓

-holding one right now 📖

You smile more, making your way to your door and grabbing the keys to unlock it. You were brought to your senses when you could smell what seemed to be vanilla, you knew it was Angies perfume, she would always wear it whenever she'd go see her boyfriend. It always made you smile when she'd go on dates, she'd be so genuinely happy to get dressed up, telling you how amazing he was and how happy he made her. It was nice to hear. You set your things down on the couch, heading into your room to grab some blankets and such, making a space on the couch for them. You were soon startled when you hear a knock on the door, to it being opened. "Hello hello hello." Ellie says coming in. "Oh hey, I was just getting the couch nice." She closes the door behind her. "What book did you bring?" You ask, looking over at her. "I- honestly have no clue just picked up something random." She states, coming over to the couch and sitting down. "Good day?" She leans back into the cushions, kicking her feet up on the coffee table.

"Yeah pretty good, bit slow but it got there in the end. And you?" Coming over to sit down next to her, bringing the blankets up your body. "Pretty much the same." You couldn't help but laugh. "What's so hilarious." She smiles ever so slightly. "I dunno, I just assume they're boring because you don't do anything." She raises a brow. "Not true. I have so much fun." "Oh yeah? What do you do that's so fun?" You open your book up, taking the Bookmark out preparing to read once you were done with the conversation. "I go on a secret mission, shhhh I can't talk about it." You laugh and roll your eyes. "You're so incredibly goofy." She smiles more. "You love it." Your smile softened a bit, you truly did. You loved how she would be so silly, especially since you didn't get to see that side of her until you were alone together. You avert your eyes over to the words on the page, beginning to read your book. She does the same opening up the random book to start.

After a little bit, you wanted to just talk. As you're still looking at your book you speak up. "I had a weird interaction today." She looks up, and at you. "Oh?" You do the same, nodding. "Got told to stay away from you, again." She lets out a sigh. "I'm sorry people are bombarding you with that-" But you just shake your head. "Trust me it's fine, it doesn't bother me. What gets to me is how hung up they are on the topic." You truly couldn't wrap your brain around it. "He told me about this girl you had almost gotten into a relationship wi-" "he?" She stops your words. You look at her as she does so. "Yeah?" She furrows her brows more. "Who is this guy?" "His names Kenny, you know him?" She rolls her eyes. "Who doesn't know him, he's always in people's faces." You keep looking at her as she speaks, when a sudden sigh comes out.

"The reason he told you that was because he was super close to her. He got furious at me when the whole thing happened and it eventually turned into a huge fight. Silly, drunken fight." This makes you raise your brows. "Oh my God." "It was all okay, no one got badly hurt but it happened, I moved on. Clearly he hasn't." You think for a moment, wondering if you should ask what you wanted to or stay in your lane and just keep quiet. She noticed your silence. "What're you thinking 'bout pretty girl?" Trying to ignore how happy that name made your heart, you push all the fear away and just ask. "What did you even do to her." Ellie goes quiet tho as if she didn't want to talk about it. "I- uhm just forget that sorry." You bite your lip feeling awful for even bringing it up. She puts a reassuring hand on your knee. "I don't mind. It's ok, I promise just caught me a little off guard is all." Listening to what she says, you nod. "I was never really present in the relationship, sort of a bit closed off. It wasn't even a relationship really, more of a- I dunno. We got on very well but at the same time I don't think she understood me truly. She was a great person, I honestly thought she was going to be my very first girlfriend." You cut her off. "Wait wait so you haven't dated anyone at ALL?" You knew she struggled to be in relationships.

But to have never been in some sort of one before, shocks you. "Never ever?" She lets out a breath. "Okay, sorry continue." You hear a tiny laugh come from her, making you smile a bit. "Anyway, I just couldn't do it. I knew I felt something but not enough to commit to anything serious like I knew she wanted. But I couldn't bring myself to let her go for so long. When one night she asked me, and I froze. I stood there trying to find some words to tell her nicely that I couldn't." Ellie stops for a second, which worried you. "Oh God, what did you do." There was silence. "I told her she wasn't relationship worthy.." Your mouth opens slightly. "Jesus Ellie." "I know, I'm not proud of it I'm really not. Especially her face after, I felt so bad deep inside but I think I made things worse with my dry facial expressions.." shocked would be an understatement. You had no idea how to respond. "No one knows that. Your actually the first person who knows the true story. The rest just made up silly rumors of how it ended, she left soon after so no one really knows the full story but me."

Still not knowing what to say you move your gaze to her. "Please say somethin." She says awkwardly. "You're not the best with words are you?" You let out a tiny giggle. She scratches her neck. "Is it obvious?" You shake your head slightly, with a roll of your eyes. "Dumbie." That silence you two always came across, occurs. You love it, it was comforting if you were quite honest. "We aren't doing much reading." She pipes up, making you look at her. "We aren't are we." You laugh a bit, setting it down and going to stand. "Where are you off to?" Honestly you didn't know, but you felt like putting music on. "Going to get my speaker, I always put on some music when Angela is out." Ellie learns more about you everyday. "What kind of music. Some heavy metal shit." Another laugh escapes you. "What do you take me for?" "I dunno, you surprise me very often." You had the speaker in hand, setting it down on the coffee table. "Honestly, if I like a song I like it, I don't have a specific type." She smiles. "Well said." You turn your head, looking at her. "And you?" She thinks for a sec, letting out a hum in thought. "Well as long as it's not some yehaw shit." This makes you laugh, harder than you have before. "Really? Now that's something I would've thought you'd like." She scoffs, throwing one of the pillows that were rested on the couch at your face.

But you catch it quickly. "Ugh, rude." Throwing it back at her she just laughs. You grab your phone and play your Playlist, sitting back down in the position you were in before. "So, loves to read, doesn't like heavy metal, is very ticklish." The last one makes you pinch her shoulder, resulting in her holding her arm with dramatics. "What else am I going to find out about you." You think for a moment. "I guess you'll have to wait and see." She tilts her head. "You a party person?" Honestly you had no idea, you hadn't been to the kind of party she's talking about in your entire life, so how could you tell if you liked them or not. "Can't judge when I've never been to one." Now it was her who was gobsmacked. "Never, ever?" She quotes you from before. "Shut up. I find fun in other things." She looks offended. "I've been to some pretty wicked parties ma'am." You roll your eyes. "You love doing that too, don't you?" She points at your face. "What? Roll my eyes?" She nods. "They'll get stuck like that if you aren't careful." She says, seeming serious but you knew she was being a dickhead.

"Oh Har Har." "No need to fake laugh around me. We all know how hard I can make you laugh." You raise a brow. "Oh really?" She nods. "Yes really, I'm the master." She notices the look on your face and smiles wickedly. "Challenge accepted." "Wait-" But she pounces on you, going straight to tickling you. You try to push her off, giggling as you do so. "Ok ok stop, point proven." Shes now laughing too, but they both die down as your eyes meet. As corny as that sounds its true, you two were currently so close to one another. You could feel the coolish air from her nose. Then something just clicks in her brain and. "Y/n." You keep the eye contact. "Mhmmmm." "I think I like you." You let out another giggle. "You think?" The look that's on her face makes you giggle more. "No like I know I do.." There was a long pause which made Ellie worry. "Is this the first time you've ever said that to someone." She nods reluctantly. You soon become more serious. "Like actually like me?" You sit up, staring at her at the confession. "I've never said that to a girl before. Never."

Looking down, you take in this information. "I think I like you too Els." You let a small smile slip but she just playfully rolls her eyes. "So what now then?" That, she hadn't thought too far into. But as she wonders what this could become those bad thoughts of hurting you cross her mind, usually she wouldn't care. Horrible as that is she never did care. Maybe you truly are changing her. And what she does next truly shocks the crap out of you. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

You had said yes. Ofcourse you were thinking of those thoughts too, but you had hope she wouldn't, consider yourself stupid? Maybe. You just wanted to live in the moment, if anything keeping it a secret was the most hardest thing throughout this all. The first time you and Ellie kissed you were just hanging out in your room, Angie was home and she had come in without knocking, thank goodness she saw nothing. You've also gotten closer with Jesse and Dina, they were so kind. You were sitting with them and Ellie one day having some food in the small Cafe they have down there. "I'm just going to get some more of that Cake, you want any?" She looks at you, you just shake your head no. As she goes to leave tho, Dina turns to you. "She has this new glow to her." A hum leaves your lips as you eat. "Maybe being around you is changing her." She continues. "If so can you like stay forever." Jesse then speaks. It made you laugh slightly. "I'm not going anywhere." They look at eachother. "Well that's if she doesn't do anything stupid." Damn, even her close friends have no hope in her. You'd be lying If you said that didn't worry you much.

More time passes and it's getting harder to keep the secret, you didn't really care for what anyone else had to say about it, but you sure did worry about Angie, Dina, and Jesse. You had bonded with all of them so well you didn't want them to hate you entirely. Today, you weren't as careful. You were currently hanging out with Dina and Jesse in your room, chilling. When you hear a knock at the door. "Hold up let me just get that." As you get up to go see who it was, you forgot to close your bedroom door. You open it, but before you can process anything you're being kissed, you froze. "Hey baby." Ellie then says after pulling away, gently grabbing the flesh of your ass. Open, your mouth was open in shock. "BABY?" You then heard Dina screech, coming out of your bedroom along with Jesse. "Uh oh-" Ellie then says, removing her hand. You swallow as you turn around slowly. "Ermmm." They were shocked. "Ain't no way." Dina continues. You were stumped. What were you suppose to say? "Really Ellie, another poor heart?" Ellie furrows her brows.

She was going to say something but you step in. "Hey, that's not entirely true. How do you know she will do that, she can change you kno-" Dina shakes her head. "She's not changing Y/n, she will hurt you." Ellie scoffs. "Right here you know." Dina looks at her. "Don't even think about hurting her, Ellie. Come on Jesse." They both go to leave. "We warned you." She says to you. You just stay quiet, watching as they go. Silence was left in the room. "I'm sorry I should've said something-" Ellie shakes her head. "Don't be, seriously. What's done is done it's not your fault, promise." She says, putting her hands on your shoulders then moving them to your cheeks. You nod slightly. "Well, do you think they hate us now?" She laughs a tad. "You? Never. Me? Always. But it's understandable so I can't blame them." You look down, it sadden you how they saw her, you knew she hadn't been so great in the past- but that was in the past. Right? She makes you look at her again, putting her thumb and index against your chin. "Don't worry about them or anything else yeah? That shouldn't be a concern." You nod at her words, getting on your tiptoes to kiss her. "Anyways are you hungry?" You asked as you make your way into the small kitchen you and Angie had.

Ellie shakes her head. "Well, not for food." She shrugs while having a sly smirk on her face, that makes you grab a piece of bread that was sitting on the counter and throw it at her. Which earns a chuckle from her lips. "You're gross." She holds her hands up. "Whattt can't admire my yummy girlfriend?" You roll your eyes. "Far from that-" "Ay! Dont talk about my girlfriend like that thank you very much." This only makes you laugh now, making her smile too. "Well, I'm going to have a snack because I'm quite hungry." You state, going over to grab something to munch on. You then feel hands on your waist, and a chin on your shoulder. "May I help you." She just shakes her head, soon after hiding it in your neck. "Nurp, comfy." That warmed your heart, she was such a sweet person. As you were fixing up some food you felt warm soft lips on your neck, so delicate and gentle. It made you close your eyes relishing in the tenderness. "You smell so good." She blurts out, keeping the warm kisses going. You hum in response. "You smell so.. bad." She pinches your waist making you giggle. "Ow!" "I don't smell bad, take that back!"

You only giggle more. "You smell like cigarettes." She gasps. "You've told me you love the way I smell! Liar!" You roll your eyes, but she swiftly turns you around in her arms, grabbing your face and squishing your cheeks. "Els-" She stares into your soul, making you laugh out. "What on earth are you doing?" "Shhh, making your eyes stay like the way they did since you love doing that so much." She continues to do whatever with her eyes. "Oh my god." You proceed to shove her off of you, but her grip tightens. "You're such an idiot." She smiles. "Yeah well I'm your idiot, so suck it up buttercup." She kisses your nose and loosens her grip, going to lean against the counter. "You really do look great today. Just thought I'd remind you." You smile sweetly at her. "You look pretty beautiful yourself." Shes now smiling too. "Im the pertyest." You laugh at the way she said it, making her smile grow. She could never get over how pretty your laugh was. It was her favorite thing, ever.

It had been a few months or so since you and Ellie first got together, maybe a bit longer but who's counting you. Currently you were making your way to her dorm, like most Friday nights. Knocking on the door to be greeted by your beautiful girlfriends green eyes. "Hey baby." You smile, and so does she. "Hello Ms thing. Come in come in." She moves out the way so you can enter, going straight to the couch and making yourself comfortable. "What have we got planned tonight?" You ask. You two usually always did a special something on a Friday night. Her roommate was out on most of them so you'd come over to Ellies. "Well I know how you feel about parties, and if you don't want to we can chill out here for the night, but there's one a few dorms down." You ponder this idea, and honestly, why not. You figure it'll be fun especially with Ellie and how enjoyable she could make anything be. "Sounds like a plan." She raises her brows, genuinely happy you agreed. "Awesome, I'm getting changed because I just came straight here from my last class." She mentions going to go do that.

You do a double take. "You? In class?" She scoffs. "Shut up." Which makes you smile. "Noo, it's great i'm glad." She shortly comes back out. "Your sarcasm is lovely." She sarcastically replies. "You ready?" You nod at her question. "Sure am."

The music was booming, so many crowds of people. The smell of alcohol and potentially what you assumed was drugs. Pleasant. "Oh this ones going to be a good one I can feel it." Ellie says looking around, scoping everything out. "You're so silly." "Come on let's get a drink." You follow but she knows you don't drink. "I'll be the sober help." She looks at you. "Not even one love?" Her question makes you shake your head as she puts a hand on your shoulder. "Alright, just make sure you're comfortable yeah?" She says before giving you a kiss. You smile at her words, beginning to feel weirdly anxious about the night, and you had no idea why.

People were everywhere it was all quite alot to take in. As you were sitting on Ellies lap you noticed how drunk she was. It was different seeing her like this. "Mmm I want another." She would slur. Making you let out a light giggle. "You're so gone Els-" "your laughs so pretty, makes my heart warm." She suddenly says. You smile more at her. "Well that's very kind of you." After a little you let out a sigh, you felt like you weren't being fun right now, you didn't want to disappoint Ellie but you had so much anxiety currently, and you had no idea on how to stop it. "Can you pretty please get me another drink my beautiful girlfriend." She taps your side, holding up her empty cup. You smile at how precious she was right now. "Sure can." You take it from her going to get off and head over to the drinks. As you're over there you feel someone next to you. "Here with Williams?" It was Kenny. You look at him. "Is that illegal?" He stares at you. "Are you dating her?" You huff. "What even is it to you Kenny?" He shakes his head. "Youre going to get hurt." "Im doing just fine thanks." You turn to leave, back to Ellie. "Here you go." You say a little dryly. "Thank youu." She muddles her words, grabbing it off of you. You sit back down in her lap. "Was he hassling you?" You hear her ask. "Who, Kenny? Nothing I can't handle my love." You reassure her, although you think it was slightly getting to you. She just nods in return.

The night went on, and your chest still had that same feeling, your anxiety was increasing. You wanted to have fun with your girlfriend and friends but you just couldn't seem to relax. It made you more anxious that Ellie wasn't with it. You're starting to think its childhood trauma that's making you feel this way, you didn't know how to just shut this weird feeling off. "You alright mama?" Ellie asks, rubbing your shoulder, still drunk as anything. You just nod and bite your lip, chewing that silky skin off nervously. "I'm just going to go for a pee." You tell her, getting up and heading to wherever the bathroom is. Once you find it you head in, going to the sink to splash water on your face in hopes it'd calm you down just a little bit. "You're fine, Y/n just take a breath and relax. Everything's fine." You say to your reflection. You leave, entering the booming party once again, going over to where Ellie was last seen but she's not there, odd. Making your way around you try to find her, hoping she's alright and she hasn't got into something bad, knowing how some idiots can be with drinks. As you make your way around the room your heart completely sinks to the floor, you stand there unable to move.

All your emotions crashing down on you. Shock being the main one, then anger. You truly couldn't believe any of it, was it some silly nightmare? There Ellie was just stuck to some girl. Kissing her. After that shock wears off you felt your anxiety push your anger into motion, moving your feet over to her. You make a cough noise, seeing her pull back from it turning slightly. She may of been drunk but she knew exactly what had happened. "Fuck-" She says under her breath. "Wait baby no i-" You grab her drink and chuck it in her face. "No." You point at her, the girl silently sneaking off. "Ellie what the actual fuck." She just stares at you. Now you feel your tears now they start to come, and her heart breaks. Tears spill at the sight you just witnessed, she's never seen you cry before. You're always so cheerful. So it truly ruins her. "Y/n no no please-" "After everything we've been through, after what you told me. They were wrong. You cant change for anyone. I should've listened to them." She immediately shakes her head. "Don't say that please- it was an accident fuck- she just-" But you shove the cup into her chest. "Shut up Ellie." And she does but she needed to tell you how sorry she was.

After a second of standing there you couldn't look at her anymore. "Wait-" She pleads as you begin to walk off, getting lost in the crowd of people, it was such a huge room you had no idea where you were even heading. The anxiety approaches again, all you wanted was to get back to the comfort of your own room. Your tears still dripping slightly, fogging your vision. You plop down on a random sofa, feeling a panic attack arise. Which freaks you out as you haven't had one of those in many years. You try to even out your breathing, which you managed to do. But everything was so overwhelming. Someone sits next to you, and great it was none other than Kenny. "Did she do something." You sigh. "Good God Kenny. Please just stop." He scoffs. "So im right, correct? Fucking Williams." You turn your head away, just wanting to get out of this unfamiliar place. He places a hand on your leg, making you stiffen. "I'm sorry she did, you never should deserve something like that." This makes you turn your attention to him. "She always steals the girls I like. And ruins their lives." Your eyes widen. "Wha-" "I could treat you so much better." He says. You were baffled by this. "Kenny what are you even-" When you couldn't think this night could get worse, it does. He goes to try and kiss you but you dodge it immediately, standing to your feet. "Kenny no- im really not interested." He begins to stand too. "That's what she said." You smelt it on his breath. "Kenny you're drunk, I think you need some water-"

He shakes his head getting close to you again, your overwhelming anxiousness comes back again, especially once you see him flush to the floor. Your attention is now on Ellie who punched the living shit out of him. "Ellie what the fu-" "He touched you!" You facepalm. "Good God I have nowhere near enough energy for this shit." The night couldn't get any worse as Kenny stands back up, the two drunk as anything. "You bitch." He goes to swing at her but she moves. "Fight round two then, you fucker." She begins it all. You don't even know what to do anymore. "You're both children." You state, going to try find the exit. You had to get back, this night was all too much. But Ellie notices you leaving, so she goes after you. "Wait no- please let me explain!" She grabs your arm but you yank it. "No Ellie. Don't ever touch or even speak to me again." "They weren't right, you have changed me i swear to you!" You shake your head. "Once a dick. Always a dick. You. Have. Not. Changed." You spat.

#elliewilliams #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader

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stop-talking · 3 months

Text

You're his ex, but he's desperate for a babysitter. (pt. 2)

Mike Schmidt x fem reader

2.2k words

Tags: 18+, mike x fem reader, no use of y/n, exes, enemies to lovers, slowburn? sassy mike, sassy reader, pet names, banter, angst, fluff, babysitting Abby. (no smut... yet.)

Part 1 Part 3

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Mike calls you up to ask a favor for the 2nd night in a row. He hates having to resort to you, his ex for Christ's sake, but he has no other choice. Besides, after last night... maybe he doesn't hate it so much.

"Again?" You ask, feigning annoyance. "What, did your usual babysitter fuck off and die?"

Mike winces at that. "I hope not. I can't really afford anyone else right now."

"And why do you expect me to come be your free labor, Schmidt?"

"Because I'll owe ya one?"

"You already owe me one from last night."

"..."

"I'll owe you two."

You scoff in an attempt to cover a laugh. Damnit. Why did he have to be so charming?

"Fine. But we are not making a habit of this."

"We aren't. I promise. I'll look for a new babysitter this weekend. I just can't leave Abby alone overnight."

"That's a strange way of saying you can't go another minute without me."

"You're delusional, woman."

"A delusional woman you owe two favors, Mikey. Be careful throwing insults."

Now it's Mike's turn to stifle a laugh. He coughs in a feeble attempt at covering it up.

"What, catching a cold?"

"No. You just make me sick."

"Stop flirting with me and hang up already."

Mike does just that, slamming the corded landline phone back into it's holster. The little smiley face sticker Abby stuck to it years ago seems to taunt him almost as much as you just did. He sighs, leaning against the counter and wondering how he got himself into this mess. He shouldn't enjoy it so much when you toy with him like this. That's all it was, he was being played with. But damn it, after being lonely so long... he'd take what he could get.

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

You arrive at his house around half an hour later, annoyed at the prospect of crashing on his couch for the 2nd night in a row. You try to make your displeasure evident with a scowl as he opens the door, but when you see the way he's gawking at you...

"Stop staring. It's rude." You can't help but smirk slightly as you scold him, he's just so easy to mess with.

"Did you really have to dress like a slut just to babysit?" Mike hisses as you set down your things, taking in your outfit. A pair of shorts that you'd definitely be cold in, and a white tank top. Of course, you had a hoodie too, but it was unzipped, and he was more focused on what it didn't cover.

"Hey, last time you said..." Mike nods to the kitchen, and you trail off as you notice the girl sitting and coloring at the table. Abby. Oh. Right.

"You're not in any position to judge my clothing choices, Mikey."

Mike shivers as you whisper in his ear. What exactly is that supposed to mean? His clothes are fine, right? He studies his hoodie and jeans, then shakes himself and grits his teeth as he follows you into the kitchen.

"Look! Mike drew this one!" Abby excitedly shoves a piece of paper in your face as you sit down at the kitchen table with her. It's a sketch of a forest, pine trees and shrubs. It's actually rather well drawn, and you take a minute to look over it.

"It's nice, but you're the better artist for sure." You slide the paper back over to her and give Mike a teasing smile as he sits down across from you, on the other side of Abby.

"Oh, I know." She turns her attention back to her own drawing, another one of Mike. And... wait, was that...? No, it couldn't be...?

"Abby, what are you drawing?" Mike asks the question before you can, craning his neck to get a better look at her paper.

"You." She responds vaguely, still scribbling away.

"Okay, but what exactly is he doing?" You ask, scooting closer to her for a better look.

"And what am I wearing?"

"A suit. It's your wedding." Abby casually drops a bomb on you both, still not even bothering to look up from her paper. Wedding? Mike?

"You're engaged?" You turn to the dumbfounded older Schmidt, and discreetly scan his hands, looking for a ring.

"N-no? What? Abby, I'm not getting married." He finally sputters, face flushed a light shade of pink.

Abby doesn't respond, still focused on her drawing. Now that you're sure what it is, you can totally see it. The red isle. The benches. Mike, wearing... something that sort of resembles a suit, if you squint. And... a bride. You nearly choke when you spot her.

"Abbs, who's that?" You ask, pointing a shaky finger at the bride, who almost looks familiar...

"You."

"..."

Mike gives you a look, and you both quickly excuse yourselves from the table.

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

"Seriously, Mike? First you tell her I'm a witch, then you tell her I'm your fiancé? Make up your goddamn mind." You scowl at him and zip up your hoodie as he closes the door behind you. The night air is chilly, and you're almost starting to regret the shorts. Almost.

Mike returns your scowl as he leans against a wall. His porch isn't exactly the best hang out spot, but you two needed to speak privately after Abby's little comment.

"I didn't tell her you're my fiancé." He growls, speaking firmly. Must be trying to make up for the way he was totally blushing earlier.

"So what, then? She just made it up?"

"Come on..." He groans, burying his face in his hands and letting the tough act fall for a moment. "You know how she is..."

It was true, his sister was... weird. He still loved her obviously, more than anyone, especially his stupid ex-girlfriend. But she was certainty different from other kids, made evident by the fact she spent more time talking to imaginary people than Mike.

"Seriously... I didn't fuckin' say that..." Mike wasn't a very good liar. But this wasn't lying, right? He'd never explicitly told Abby he was going to marry you, but he definitely humored her when she asked about it way back when you two were dating. He'd told her maybe. Maybe. To a kid, that meant yes.

"You sure, Mikey? Don't have a ring hidden away somewhere, waiting to pop the question?" You cross your arms and scoff, but it's hard to be angry when this whole thing is so amusing. Abby definitely had a wild imagination, but she wouldn't just make up something like that out of nowhere. There had to be more to this.

"Hell no. I'd rather die alone than marry a witch." He practically spits in anger, but he's more angry at himself than you or Abby. He should have shut Abby down immediately when she asked about marriage... especially considering the relationship hardly lasted 3 months. But, well, he was a lovesick fool. Way back then. Not anymore.

"Pfft. Fine. Have fun at work, Honey." You taunt him as you head back inside, and you can hear him grumble more than a few curses in response.

Little sisters and ex-girlfriends, man. Mike wanted to scream.

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

You nearly choke on your glass of water as Abby drops yet another bomb on you.

"C-can you repeat that?" You ask, coughing.

"Will you teach me witch stuff? You know, cursing people?" Abby blinks up at you innocently. Damn these Schmidts and their big brown puppy eyes.

"Please? When you lifted the curse from Mike, it really worked!" She insists eagerly. "He colored with me!"

You watch as she proudly holds up Mike's drawing of a forest. She must really treasure it.

"I... uh... why do you want to learn witchcraft, Abby?"

Abby cocks her head at the question. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Fair enough." You laugh and shake your head. This kid.

"Alright... but we can't do witchery on empty stomachs. What do you want to eat?"

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

When Mike quietly slips back into the house at the crack of dawn, he nearly trips over his own feet when he sees the state of his kitchen table.

"The fuck happened here?" He mutters, picking up one of the many papers strewn across the table. The weird markings all over it vaguely resembled hieroglyphics, not that he was an expert on those. The part that really concerned him, though, was the circle of candles in the center of the table.

They weren't lit, thankfully, but they looked like they had been. Damn it. Those were for emergencies. Like the time he forgot to pay the power bill.

"Too tired for this shit." He gives up on trying to decipher whatever-the-fuck you and Abby did, and makes his way into the living room. He pauses yet again when he sees you sleeping on the couch. Was that his blanket? And pillow? From his bed? Damn infuriating woman.

"Get up." He gives your shoulder a shake, not bothering to be gentle. He doesn't have the patience right now.

"Nngh... 5 more minutes." Ugh. You sound just like Abby.

"Don't be a bum." He rips the blanket off of you, then immediately regrets it when he remembers just how little you're wearing. Your tank top had shifted, almost completely exposing your... fuck, he shouldn't stare.

"Don't you have work?" He grumbles, flopping down in his recliner and pointedly looking away from your body.

"Nah... It's my day off." You sit up and stretch, planting your feet on the floor and reaching up to the sky as you lean back against the couch. Either you don't notice that one of your breasts has fallen out of your tiny top, or you just don't care. Mike clears his throat and looks away again. Fuck. He's definitely blushing.

"Oh, shit." With a casual hand, you tuck your breast back into the tank top. Must have moved around a lot. Damn uncomfortable couch.

"You wanna explain why it looks like I hosted a cult meeting in my kitchen?" Mike snaps, finally able to focus.

"Hey, you're the one who convinced Abby I'm a witch. Not my fault the promise of learning a spell is such an effective way of getting her to eat dinner."

Mike furrows his brow at that. You got her to eat dinner? Two nights in a row? That's an accomplishment. "...Fine. But please, clean up your mess next time. I have to take her to school in a couple hours, and if the table is-"

"Yeah, yeah. I'll clean it up. Let me get some coffee first, jeez." You brush him off and make your way into the kitchen. He still has the same shitty coffee maker that looks like it belongs in an antique store. And no creamer, because Mike hates joy.

"You want a cup too?"

"I shouldn't. Gotta go to sleep after I drop Abby off at school." He grunts from the other room, and you can hear him getting out of the old creaky recliner he loves so much.

"Ah. Night shift."

"Yeah. Night shift."

Mike shuffles into the kitchen and you both stand there awkwardly for a few moments as the coffee brews.

"You don't really look like you sleep, you know." You remark, taking in his ever-present eyebags for the hundredth time.

"Yeah, well, I do. Sleeping is just so... tiring." He scoffs, making light of the situation. He's telling the truth, though. Sleep for him is more of a project than real rest. His eyes glaze over as he gets lost in thought for a moment.

"You good, Mike?" He flinches as you place a hand on his shoulder. He wasn't expecting that from you.

"Yeah, uh, just..."

"Tired?"

"Yeah."

You sigh and decide to let it go, turning your attention to the mess on the kitchen table instead. He didn't owe you an explanation, especially now that you're not together, but it was still frustrating. He's obviously dealing with something, probably a lot of somethings, and he's too stubborn to admit it. That stubbornness is gonna be the end of him, you swear. It was what ended your relationship. Partially.

"Here, I'll help." Mike fumbles to help you pick up papers and crayons, colored pencils and candles. After a few minutes, it doesn't look like such a disaster.

"Oh, by the way." You pour yourself a cup of coffee, and start to stir in a few spoons of sugar. Too much sugar, for Mike's taste. "Abby's little blue dolphin stuffed animal is invisible to you now, got it? As long as it's in the house, grown-ups can't see it. I think she put it in your room to test you. Just ignore it."

"Is that what you two were doing?" Mike leans back against the counter and scoffs, but makes a mental note to ignore the little dolphin from now one. He'd humor her, if it meant she'd eat her dinner.

"I don't know? I panicked, okay? I had to think of something harmless but still believable and exciting for a little kid."

"And 'invisible stuffed animal' was the best you could think of?"

"This is a warning. Find a new goddamn babysitter or I'm teaching her curses next. And you have to play along."

Mike can't help but smile at that. A real smile.

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Already workin' on the next part don't worry <3

Edit: Part 3

#josh hutcherson x reader #mikeschmidt #mike schmidt #fnaf movie #fnafmovie #mike schmidt fluff #mike x reader #abby fnaf #five nights at freddy's #fanfic #fnaf fanfic #jhutch #josh hutcherson

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writingforstraykids · 3 months

Text

He deserved it - Pt.2

Pairing: Minchan | Minlix | Minchanlix

Word Count: 2559

Summary: Chan cleans up Felix's mess and ends up getting closer with Minho. Felix notices and maybe does feel a little jealous. Confronting Chan hasn't been his smartest idea.

Warnings/Tags: fluff, smut, aftercare with Chan, indication of mirror sex / semi-public sex (minchan), sub!min, dom!chan, switch!felix

A/N: Here's the part two you wanted...I guess that ending screams for another part, but I'll leave that up to you🤭

PART ONE

do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©️writingforstraykids 2024 -

Chan swallowed softly and pulled the door close behind himself, locking it to avoid any of their friends stumbling in. Minho seemed extremely vulnerable right now, and it ignited a protective feeling in his chest he hadn't felt in a while about him. He knew he was blushing; he could practically feel the heat radiating off his face and burning in his ears. Chan went to Minho's closet, got one of his fuzzy blankets, and sat down at the edge of the bed. “Min?” he asked, trying to see how responsive his friend was.

“Yeah?” he asked quietly, tears still spilling from his eyes as his body was fighting the aftershocks of pure pleasure.

“You're okay?” he asked softly, and Minho hummed.

“Very,” he nodded, a slight blush creeping up his neck as he realized how messy he must look right now in front of Chan.

Chan hesitantly reached out for him, fingers shaking as he brushed his hair from his face. “I'll help you clean up, yeah?”

“Mhm, okay, Channie hyung,” he nodded drowsily. “It's not like I could walk on my own right now.”

Chan almost choked on his breath. “I'll draw you a bath,” he said, scrambling to his feet and quickly busying himself in the bathroom. He cursed himself for getting so flustered. Fucks sake, he had seen every other of his friends naked before, turning into a moaning mess beneath him. Was it because he always thought he'd never see Minho that way? They'd never work because, well…they both liked to be in control. When he came back, Minho still hadn't moved, goosebumps slowly covering his skin. Chan tried not to stare too much but fuck, that was hard. “And he just left you like that?”

“Made him mad,” Minho shrugged and licked his dry lips. “Told me to clean myself up or beg you for help.”

Chan laughed and rolled his eyes. “He wouldn't have left you if I hadn't agreed.”

“Don't be so sure about that; he's a little devil if you give him the chance,” he laughed and shifted a little as he tried to get comfortable.

Chan noticed he was beginning to freeze and spoke before he could think it through. “Can I give you a cuddle until the bath is ready?” he asked, blushing at Minho's puzzled look.

“Channie, there's Felix's cum dripping from my ass and my own smeared all over my stomach. I'll make a mess of you,” he giggled.

Chan blushed heavily before nodding. “I know. I don't mind.”

“Nasty,” Minho commented.

“Shut it; you're the one unable to walk right now because you've been such a tease,” he snorted, and Minho weakly punched his arm. Chan giggled as Minho pushed himself onto his knees with a groan, wincing a little. He pulled him into his lap and wrapped the fuzzy blanket around them.

Minho slumped against his chest and buried his face in his neck with a soft huff. He closed his eyes, overwhelmed by Chan's natural scent, and picked up on a hint of Jeongin’s favorite cologne. Chan's hugs always felt safe, and he loved indulging them when they were back home. No one was expecting him to “hate” it here. “I'll be so sore tomorrow,” he grumbled, and Chan chuckled.

“I'll pay him back next time, fuck him stupid,” Chan said, not really thinking again. He was too occupied with the feeling of his hand resting on Minho's bare skin beneath the blanket and lingering on his lower back so tenderly.

“You could fuck me stupid instead; I'd gain more from that,” Minho answered and couldn't quite believe he said that out loud. Fucks sake.

“I can't believe you, only a minute ago, you were still sobbing, and now you're asking for it again,” he snickered.

“And that's the only thing keeping you from doing so?” he teased softly, nuzzling his nose into his neck.

“Minho,” Chan whispered, his grip on his back subconsciously growing tighter.

Minho pulled back and squinted at him, amused, hooking his finger beneath Chan's chin and making him look at him. “You'd like that, huh?” he asked, and Chan could only nod, blushing furiously. “And just for your information, I cry when I feel really good.”

Chan hummed and swallowed thickly. He gently brushed back his hair and smiled at him. “I'll ruin you another day.”

“What if I want you to do so right-oh god,” Minho moaned out shakily as Chan wrapped his hand around his dick. His eyes fluttered close, and his fingers buried deeply into Chan's shoulder. “Oh, just like that,” he breathed out and whimpered softly as Chan kissed down his neck before licking a stripe up to his ear. He used his other hand to brace Minho and bent his head, licking over his nipples teasingly. Minho shuddered with a gasp, already leaking down Chan's hand. He was still so sensitive he wouldn't last long. How embarrassing he'd fall apart so easily the first time he touched him. It didn't help feeling Chan's dick pressing up against him through his sweatpants. “Channie,” he breathed out needily.

“I know,” he whispered against his skin. “I know, it's okay. We'll do it properly another time.”

Minho whimpered and needily fucked into Chan's fist, growing more sloppy with every thrust. “Channie, so close,” he warned him, and Chan gave him permission.

His stomach fluttered at Minho's face, flooding with pleasure, lips opening in a sweet moan of his name. Chan could feel his release dripping down his hand, and he knew Minho had made a mess of his shirt now, but he didn't care. Not with the blissed-out look on Minho's face. The sight made him feel so good he couldn't quite believe himself.

He gave him a moment to calm down before getting up with him in his arms. “Now, let's clean you up.”

“I still can't believe you'd get that jealous,” Jeongin snickered in Felix's arms.

“I'm not,” Felix giggled. “Minho hyung wanted Channie to care for him for ages but was too shy to ask.”

“Oh,” he nodded gently.

“So yes, when he was being a tease today, I thought I'd give them a little push,” he laughed and kissed his head. “I would've never left him like that if Chan hadn't agreed.”

“You're a menace,” he giggled and cuddled closer.

“No, that's called smart,” he grinned.

Minho's eyes fluttered at how nice the warm water and soothing lavender scent welcomed his tired body. He glanced up at Chan, who didn't quite know where to look. “You just gave me a handjob, I think you can stop acting shy now.”

“Sorry,” he laughed breathlessly.

“Join me?” he asked, and Chan heavily blushed. “Don't think I didn't notice you came in your pants.”

“Minho, I-,” he stammered, and Minho giggled.

“No wonder if our maknae needed help right before,” he smirked, and at Chan's puzzled look, he added, “You smelled like him.”

“You're insane,” Chan laughed and gave in, taking his shirt off. Minho watched him intensely as he did, not really hiding that he was enjoying the show. Chan quickly got into the water, slipping in behind him and spreading his legs. Minho scooted closer with a soft grunt, leaning back against him. Chan gently rubbed his arms before wrapping his own around Minho's stomach.

Minho gently intertwined their fingers, melting a little at how small his hands felt in Chan's. He didn't know what made him do it, but he shifted in Chan's lap just enough to bury his face in his chest. A soft sigh escaped him at the skin contact, and he could feel a small laugh rumble through his chest. “Asshole,” he giggled.

“I always knew you like being hugged,” he smirked succeedingly.

“I like it when you do it,” he nodded softly. “Makes me feel safe.”

Chan smiled softly and kissed his hair. “I'm glad it does.”

Minho shuffled in his lap once more before straddling him, arms wrapped around his neck. “Channie?” he asked softly, searching his eyes.

“Yeah?” he asked, soothingly rubbing his hips.

“Please don't let this be a one-time thing?” he sounded almost timid, tugging at Chan's heartstrings.

Chan shook his head and cupped his face with one hand. “I'll make you feel good as often as you want to from now on.”

“Promise?” he smiled sweetly.

“Promise,” Chan giggled, eyes widening as Minho lunged forward and gave him a kiss. He only needed a second before he kissed back passionately, trying to make it last. He buried his hand in his hair, smiling into the feeling that sent shivers down his body. Now, he finally could take care of all his boys.

Not much later, Minho was dressed in a comfy sweater and sweatpants belonging to Chan. He was comfortable in Chan's bed, the soft lilac light making him even sleepier than before. Minho brought the sweater to his face and buried his nose in it, getting flooded with Chan's scent. He couldn't bite back the lazy smile tugging at his lips. Chan returned with a glass of water and sat beside him. His curls were still a little damp, and Minho was purely relaxed after Chan washed his hair, massaging his scalp so perfectly and then doing the same with his aching body. “Come on, kitten,” he spoke softly, and Minho blushed a little, sitting up. He let Chan help him to drink a bit before smiling at him fondly. Chan put the water aside and lovingly fondled his hair. “Cuddles?”

“Please,” Minho nodded sweetly.

Felix and Jeongin peeked into Chan's room after a while, exchanging a grin at the sight of their hyungs cuddled up. Minho's head was tucked safely beneath Chan's, their legs intertwined. Chan's hand was beneath Minho's sweater, and Minho was holding onto his sweater in his sleep in return.

“Cute,” Felix commented.

“Guess you did it,” Jeongin chuckled before they left them in peace.

One week later

Chan was strolling down the hallway, hearing “Taste” blast through the almost empty building. He was ready to go home, but he had a feeling Minho wouldn’t leave if he didn’t remind him of the time. Pushing the door open, his breath hitched, seeing Minho immersed in the choreo. He quietly pulled the door close behind himself and leaned against it, watching him curiously. None of them knew what Minho had planned for that song yet; he only knew Felix and Hyunjin pitched in some ideas this afternoon. Chan’s thoughts started wandering as he watched the younger man sink down to his knees and spread his legs as he did. He slowly pushed himself off the door and made his way over, strolling into his view behind him. By the time he reached him, Minho was back on the floor, rolling his hips. It didn’t help that right after his angelic voice blasted from the speaker with the words, “Don’t make me bad, make me bad, I’m addicted to you.”.

Minho stopped in his movements, surprised to spot him through the mirror, and swallowed at how confidently Chan closed the remaining distance between them. Chan stepped right behind him and leaned down, kissing him upside down as Minho lost balance and fell to his bum. Minho didn’t waste much time, turned in their kiss so he was facing him and grabbed him by his shirt. He pulled him down roughly, catching his fall with his legs, and arched into his body as soon as Chan was on top of him. “Hey there,” he chuckled into their kiss and buried his hand in his hair.

“Hi,” Chan smirked mischievously. “Sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt, but…you make it very hard to resist you, moving like that.”

Minho hummed, pleased, and raised his eyebrows at him. “Well, did you come here to watch only, or?”

“Oh, I definitely came here to watch. Wanna see your face when I ruin you,” he smirked and sat up. Minho did as well and gulped softly as Chan scooted behind him, meeting his eyes through the mirror. “And here is perfect because you can see for yourself.”

“Fuck,” he breathed out needily. “Fuck, yes, please,” he nodded quickly, and Chan’s eyes darkened behind him, clouding with lust.

Felix had watched Minho curiously the next morning during breakfast as he sat down with a soft wince. Taking a look at Chan, spotting a few marks on his neck, he could imagine what had happened yesterday night when everyone else had been home already. Luckily, Hyunjin caught a cold so it would be only them practicing today.

He walked up to Minho and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him in. “Had fun last night?”

“Mhm, the practice was alright; I think I have the dance worked out now, and-” he swallowed as Felix wrapped his hand around his neck and met his eyes through the mirror.

“I’m not talking about that,” he said sharply, and Minho gulped nervously. “You enjoyed Chan hyung fucking you dumb?” he asked, and his hyung’s eyes widened.

“I-uh-,” he stammered, and the grip around his neck tightened.

“I won’t ask again,” Felix warned him.

“Y-Yes,” he nodded timidly. “I did.”

“You still think he can wreck you better than I did?” he asked, and Minho blushed heavily.

“Felix,” he whined softly, squirming in his hold as Felix planted his other hand right on his dick, straining against the fabric of his jeans.

“You don’t wanna chose, that’s fine,” he nodded and squinted his eyes at him. “Where?”

“Wh-What?” he whispered.

“You heard me,” he said sharply and Minho shrunk in his grip.

Chan flinched in his chair as the door to his room opened and got slammed close forcefully. His eyes widened seeing Minho, staring at the floor nervously, Felix right behind him. Felix shoved the older over to Chan’s sofa and gave him a little push. Minho fell back into the cushion with a soft groan and yelped as Felix climbed on top of him, wrapping his hand around his neck once again. “Lix,” he whispered and glanced at Chan embarrassed.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Chan asked irritated and got up.

“You decided to fuck him in my room, so I’ll do the same now,” he told him and raised his eyebrows challengingly at him.

Chan scoffed and an amused smirk settled on his lips. He locked the door and slipped the key into his pocket. “My dear sunshine, you may be in control with him,” he said, pointing at Minho. “But may I remind you who’s in control when it’s us?” he asked and stepped next to him, wrapping his hand around his neck. He leaned down with a grin and winked at Minho. “So what makes you think you can come into my room and do as you like, hm?” he whispered into his ear and Felix shivered with need.

Shit, he didn’t quite think that one through.

“Oh god, it’s not like I couldn’t handle both of you, just do something, please,” Minho whined beneath them, wide eyes darting between their faces.

Chan exchanged an amused glance with Felix before leaning over to open the drawer of his desk. “Not how I planned my day, but I can’t complain,” he said, flicking the cap of the bottle of lube in his hand open. “Who’s first?”

PART ONE

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

Taglist: (Please let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the taglist!)

@atinyniki @mal-lunar-28 @lilmisssona @aaasia111 @galaxycatdrawz @kthstrawberryshortcake @channieaddict @soullostinspaceandtime @malfoygalaxies @michelle4eve @lixie-phoria @gxtwllsn @xxstrayland @hearts4i-dle @taeistakenbymeinnextlife @jinnie-ret @lost-in-avoidance @kibs-and-bits

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ghostboneswrites2 · 2 months

Text

Sick of You pt.2

Second part to this request.

Summary: Reader saves Daryl's ass again and finally gets the respect she deserves.

18+ MDNI || Warnings: TWD Typical violence, profanity, over the counter drugs

Things have gotten better since your heated exchange with Daryl in the woods. You two haven't grown any closer, but you don't feel the need to avoid him anymore. The most you get is a curt nod when he passes you by. You're fine with that, though.

Today is your rest day, so aside from morning and afternoon inventory, you don't have any chores on your itinerary, which you are grateful for. Most people get rest days once a week, but you tend to be forgotten in that regard, so yours aren't nearly as frequent. Your only plans for the day are to sleep, eat, drink, and repeat. That is, of course, until;

"Hey, (Y/N)? I hate to ask, but everyone else is swamped with work today. Daryl was supposed to be back hours ago. I'm worried something might've happened." Rick asks, leaning on the bars of your cell. You reluctantly uncrust your sleepy eyes and stare down at him. "It was supposed to be a quick in-and-out at the pharmacy just a few miles down the road due south. It's a small town, barely any walkers last I was there. Think you could go and see what you see?"

You sigh and sit up. "Sure." You croak.

"I really wouldn't ask if--"

"It's okay. Really. I don't mind." You wave him off. You do mind, actually, quite a bit. However, it's only fair if you're the only one not working.

"I'll load a car for you. Just get yourself ready. I'll have all the supplies you need in the car." He says. You nod and he walks away. With a groan, you yawn and stretch before quickly throwing on your cleanest jeans and least stained shirt.

"All loaded up." Rick informs you as you approach the vehicle. "Water, snacks, weapons, some tools if ya need 'em."

"Cool." You nod. "Thanks. I'll be back."

"Be safe."

----

The town was not clear of walkers. Not at all. There was a swarm of them around the little drug store where Daryl was supposed to be, and judging by how desperately the walkers clawed at the building, you could only assume he was trapped in there. God damn it.

"Shit." You mumble as you slowly drive by the building. A few walkers turn their attention to you, but not enough. Then, you remember the Bon Jovi CD Rick had tucked away in the glove compartment. "Hell yeah." You smirk to yourself as you stop the car and slide the disc into the player. You crank the radio as loud as it'll go. The first song that plays feels ironic, as it's called Wanted Dead or Alive. You shrug it off and honk the horn, revving the engine, trying to gain as much undead attention as you can.

"Come on you dead fucks!" You call out of your cracked window that you inched down for airflow. "Come and get me!"

The dead begin to peel away from the building, inching toward your car in a swarm. Before you can get buried too deep in corpses, you press the gas, driving just fast enough that they couldn't catch up, but not so fast they'd lose interest.

For the sake of spirit, you belt out the lyrics you know. Any extra noise to draw them after you.

"I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride.. I'm wanted dead or alive.. Wanted dead or alive"

You can't help but laugh at the stupidity of the situation. The song, the walkers, the way you're singing. It was like going on a road trip with a divorced dad or something. As you peek in the rearview mirror you realize just how many of them were after you now. At least twenty, maybe more. There was no way you'd be able to fight them all off, not even with Daryl's help. You resort to taking a turn down a random street, hoping it would circle back to the main road and you'd be able to lose them that way.

Luck is not on your side today, though. The road turns out to be a dead end. What are your options here? This puttering little car wouldn't survive a rogue assault if you tried to mow through the herd. No, you'd have to get clever, and fast, because your car is stopped and they're getting close.

In a fit of quick thinking, you throw the bag Rick packed for you over your shoulder and make a run for it into the trees surrounding the street. You leave the car running with the music blaring. Hopefully that will keep the bulk of them focused on the car while you make a break for it.

The plan works for the most part. Any of them that followed you into the trees are too far back to be an immediate concern, and the few stragglers in the woods that are being drawn to the sound of the radio are easy enough to take down if they get too close for comfort.

You dodge branches and fallen logs as you bolt through the trees back toward the main road. When it's in sight, you're relieved to see only a small amount of walkers remained. You don't worry about them. Instead you backtrack to the pharmacy as fast as you can, hoping Daryl will still be there waiting for you so you don't have to try to get back to the prison on your own without wheels.

Your chest is starting to feel tight and hot as the cardio catches up to you. As you slow to a slow jog, you peer over your shoulder. Five or so walkers are behind you, but you have enough distance on them to ignore them for the time being. You decide to keep your slow jogging pace. The pharmacy is in view now. All you have to do is keep going forward, so you do.

When you make it, you're completely out of breath. The vehicle Daryl took that morning is still there, so you know he hasn't left, and if he did he's on foot, which wouldn't be smart. You tug at the doors but they don't budge. You look back down the road. The walkers are a bit closer now.

"Daryl!" You call at the glass, hoping he hears you. "Daryl let me in!"

You slap at the glass but there's no movement from inside.

"Shit!" You exclaim. The walkers seem to be moving faster now that you're beginning to panic. You run around the building to see if there's a back door you can slide in through. There is, but it's locked. "Damnit!" You shout, kicking at the metal door. You know it won't open, but you figure maybe the banging of your boot against the metal will inspire Daryl to let you in. Speaking of, why isn't he letting you in? "Daryl! You okay in there?" You call for him. You don't have time to wait for a response.

Snarling bodies are creeping around the corner of the building. You pull your knife from your belt and ready it as you back away slowly. You can't decide if you should take them on or not. There are only a few, but there's still only one of you. "Fuck it." You mutter, lunging to stab one in the skull before backing away again.

You continue this maneuver as you circle the building. You keep your distance, lunge at one, then back away again. When you make it around the front again, you see movement from inside. "Daryl!" You call out. There are only two walkers left. You can take them, but you can't take the rest that are sure to find their way back to you.

The door swings open, and a bolt flies into one of the walkers. With haste you take down the last one and retrieve the arrow before you run inside. Daryl slams the door behind you and locks it.

"The hell you doin' out here, girl?" He hisses.

"Saving your ass, Dixon." You cross your arms triumphantly. "Which, I did a pretty damn good job at."

He ignores your gloating and drags you away from the glass, crouching with you behind the sales counter.

"The herd. That was you?" He asks.

"Yup. Bon Jovi came in clutch, if I do say so myself." You grin.

"Huh." He nods. "Well, we still got another problem."

"What is it?"

"The car. Someone siphoned the gas out while I was in here grabbin' the meds.Didn't even hear 'em. Tried to start it up and it wouldn't crank, so I got out and saw the gas tank open."

"Shit." You throw your head back. "I had to ditch the other car to evade the damn freaks."

"Alright." He sighs. "We just need a plan, and fast. Before that herd circles back."

"Okay." You take a breath. "So, no vehicle, herd incoming, need a plan... Why don't we just book it? Run as fast as we can through the trees before the walkers come back. The prison is only a few miles away. We can be back bye tonight."

"Nah. No idea how many of 'em are out there, or who else is out there. Walkers don't get tired, we do." He shakes his head.

"Well, do we really have another option?"

"Guess not." He nods. "Here." He holds out a packet of pills. You examine the label.

"Caffeine pills?" You press your brows together.

"Worth a shot. Might keep us goin' longer." He shrugs. You nod.

"Good idea." You say as you pop two pills out of the packet and swallow them. You pull a water bottle from your bag and chug it, offering it to him when you're done. He takes two pills for himself and takes a few swigs of water before you pack the bottle away and stand up.

"Ready?" He asks.

"Yeah, but first I gotta ask. Why didn't you let me in the first time I tried?" You wonder.

"Passed out. Walker was in here, caught me off guard. I hit my head. Stayed up long enough to lock the doors. Woke up to you bangin' in the back."

"Oh." You nod. "I'll forgive you this time."

With that. the two of you run out of the back and into the trees behind the parking lot. You follow him, assuming he knows where he's going, and don't stop until you can't run anymore.

By that point its nightfall.

"Daryl." You pant. "I can't anymore."

He slows down and leans on a tree, propping his hands on his knees while he catches his breath.

"Okay. We walk from here." He agrees.

"Here." You offer him some water, which he gladly takes. You drink some too before tucking it away again. You stumble behind him as the two of you walk, exhausted from sprinting and coming down from the caffeine rush.

"So." You begin.

"So?"

"So... I showed you what I can do." You gloat.

"Yeah." He sighs. "Ya did good, (Y/N)."

Join the taglist! || Masterlist

tags: @kissmeunicornbaobei @thesadcatt0 @clairealeehelsing @duckybird101 @tmntfixationxreader @ryoujoking @blackvelveteen1339 @yondus-girl @ladylincoln @sunshinebug9 @saylum559 @yoowhatthefuck

#daryl dixon #twd daryl #the walking dead daryl #daryl x reader #daryl x female reader #daryl twd #daryl fanfiction #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl x y/n #daryl x you

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rebel-walnut · 1 year

Text

Let's Do The Time Warp Again

steddie time travel s3 ficlet, Part 1

Ao3, Pt.2, Pt.3, Pt.4

"Harrington! Customers!"

Pins and needles flood Steve's limbs as Robin's voice slowly comes into focus, his eyes still scrunched closed with sleep. The tiredness is heavy in his bones, like he's been asleep for years in the oddly cold back room of Family Video.

"Dingus!"

Steve doesn't even remember falling asleep on his break. Actually, he doesn't remember taking his break at all. Or even coming into Family Video. In fact, the last thing he remembers was covered in black and red slime-

"DINGUS! YOUR BREAK IS SO OVER!"

Steve forces his eyes open to witness the too-white walls of a break room that burned down a year ago. Frantic hands run over the garish blue and red of the tacky sailor uniform he hated, the same uniform he lit on fire in his backyard with Robin before the start of her senior year. Somehow, it's back. All of it. It's all come back to haunt him.

Robin from a year ago seems to also be back to haunt him -or maybe she's here as his savior- either way, she's just as loud as ever as she kicks the swinging door to the cramped back room in. It hits the wall with a crack, causing a jolt of both familiarity and dread to shoot up Steve's spine.

He waits for the tell-tale chime of a clock that was still ringing in his ears before he woke up in the summer of '85 or Robin's face to start warping into the melted mass of tentacles hiding in the Creel attic that will certainly become a common occurrence in his nightmares, but the only thing in front of him is Robin's all too common apathetic yet disappointed stare.

"I gave you an extra 7 minutes to sleep, but that little sampling-brat and her terror-troop are back for more and I swear to God, Harrington, I cannot deal with her again today, I just can't-"

Steve cuts off her ramble by scrambling out of his seat with more effort than either of them had ever put into this job, squeezing past her and out of the small doorway.

"Steve, where are you- hey!" Robin says as she latches into Steve's shoulder before he can finish his beeline out the door.

"I'll explain later if you still exist," Steve responds as he turns out of her grasp, shoving past the group of teens making their way into the store. He can hear Robin's small shouts after him, but her exasperation with him is nothing new and frankly the least of his worries.

Starcourt, somehow, is still standing. Clamping down on his rising heart rate, Steve glances around for any sign of the current date, or even year. Everything is exactly the same as it was a year ago, but Steve knows nothing he sees can be trusted. Not with the visions Max described, that's for goddamn certain. While he doesn't know enough science fiction shit like Dustin to know if he jumped universes or is in a different reality or whatever the fuck, he can at least place a little bit of faith in his ability to distinguish dreams and visions from reality.

His frantic pace along with the extremely out of place sailor costume draws in a few curious stares, but again, least of his worries. No one's faces warp into slimy horrors and none of the walls start crawling with vines, no flickering lights, no distorted voices in his head, no signs of the upside down at all. As comforting as that should be in theory, that means it's something else entirely and definitely something Steve can't figure out on his own.

He finds himself leaving a trail of pinches down his arm as he reaches the far side of the mall, posters for the theater coming into view. A particular poster catches his eye, BACK TO THE FUTURE highlighted in yellow and orange in all its sci-fi font glory.

Fuck. 1985. Again.

He presses his fingertips into the glass covering the poster as his breaths come out raggedy and sharp. C'mon, wake up man. It's all some weird ass fever dream, you probably just hit your head again.

He waits a few seconds and prays to wake up. Nothing. Obviously, he thinks. He's stuck, somehow, a year ago, with no clue how it happened or how to fix it or if anything here is even real in the first place.

Steve isn't the guy who comes up with plans, okay? That's more of a Nance thing, and Steve is totally fine with his role as the muscle. Unfortunately, right now there seems to be absolutely no Nancy Wheeler, and Steve has no fucking clue what the fuck is going on.

He steps back from the entrance to the theater and spins around probably faster than he should for someone who maybe just got shot through time, and comes face to face with a small music store labeled Hot Wax Records in some sort of groovy 70's style font. That's not what gets him though.

Steve stops dead in his tracks as he makes eye contact with the guy at the front desk. His hair's a little shorter than he last remembers it, hitting just above his shoulders instead of just below them. The man is wearing a familiar denim vest with slightly fewer patches and less grime than was on it when it was adorning Steve's shoulders, but familiar all the same. What gets Steve though is that the man at the counter is white-knuckling the edge with one hand while the other braces and claws itself around his neck, a look of equal parts horror and recognition strewn across his features. He looks on the verge of screaming, yet his eyes are forcefully locked into Steve's with a determination Steve had only seen from him once before.

They both falter a half step forward as Steve struggles to find his tongue.

"Eddie?"

#steddie #steddie au #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steddie fic #steddie fanfic #steddie ficlet #steddie fanfiction #Shovel writes

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kasagia · 1 year

Text

I'll be back for you pt. 2 (end)

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/General Kirigan/The Darkling x reader, Kaz Brekker x reader Summary: The battle is still going on. Not only the one between Alina and the Darkling but also the one inside you. Which side will you choose to be on? Who will you support? The choice is only yours. Warning(s): Darkling, angst, quarrels, fighting, bl00d, the reader is having a hard time and doesn't know what to do and who to choose, but we all love these two guys Word count: It depends, but 13k+ in total Taglist: @woowwwee @aemondsb1tch @queenofspades6 @unofficial-jaytodd-wife @kentucky-criedfricken

"Moya soverennyia?" Fedyor's voice snapped you out of your thoughts. You turned to Heartrender, giving him a gentle smile and telling him to continue.

Over the course of this month, you've already gotten used to your new role, announced by the Darkling to his Oprichniks and Grishas.

His partner. His heart. His moon. The new Soverennyia.

So far, Aleksander has kept his promise to make you his equal. But you've been waiting patiently for the day when keeping you on an equal footing with himself will not be in line with his plans.

And you didn't know whether to be glad or disappointed that he was serious about keeping that promise.

"Y/N? Shall we go?" you looked up at the man, remembering what he had come for. Kirigan asked for you.

"Yes. Thank you, Fedyor." you nodded as you walked out with him by your side. You smiled as soon as the man started babbling about the latest gossip from the camp. You appreciated that he was trying to make your trip pleasant by at least trying to strike up a normal, casual conversation with you.

Another thing you had to get used to. If there wasn't an unsettling Darkling figure hovering by your side, it would be either Ivan or Fedyor. Kirigan insisted that their presence around you was necessary to keep you safe.

Like you weren't a powerful moon summoner.

The Darkling's "care" didn't blind you. He was afraid that you would run away again, that despite everything—all those tender words and promises whispered into his skin under the cover of the night—you were not fully devoted to him. That even though you were with him in body and mind, you left your heart with a group of your "crows".

And he was right.

But you weren't willing to give him any evidence.

"Sankta Y/N!" the guard at Aleksander's tent of council announced your arrival, interrupting all conversations between the general and his chief commanders.

"Come here, moonlight." the Darkling has summoned you without even lifting a glance from the papers. You took the only empty seat right next to him and glanced at the maps spread out in front of him. "Ivan and his men have been on the trail of the firebird for weeks and finally found something interesting… I thought you'd like to know more about your future amplifire." he whispered in your ear as the conversation around you resumed.

You nodded your head, turning your gaze to the man closest to him. You smiled as you saw Fedyor (trying to) fawn over him imperceptibly. Maybe you and Ivan didn't get along very well, and your relationship with Fedyor deteriorated after your "betrayal", but you'd have to be blind and insensitive not to notice and appreciate the bond between them. You couldn't help your stupid heart long for something they had.

"Something wrong, zyoma maya olya (moon of my life)?"

"Last week was a bit tiring, that's all. Your mother can be a pain in the ass." you mumbled, taking his hand. You unknowingly began to draw patterns on the skin of his hand with your finger, making him feel better. Something that didn't go unnoticed among the Grishas present in the tent.

It turned out you weren't the only one left behind. Aleksander caught Baghra.

From the old woman's story, it seemed as if all he cared about was keeping the two of you captive. Thanks to the saints, no other crow caught his special attention. Except Kaz...

"I'll repay you for taking care of her, milaya. In a month, no one and nothing will get on your nerves, moya tsaritsa."

"Hold on to the titles. Ravka is not at your feet yet."

"It will be. As soon as we enlarge the fold, the whole world will be at OUR feet. And then we'll make sure that no Grishas are afraid or ashamed of who they are ever again."

You wanted to believe him. Really. That he cares only for the good of people like you, but you already knew him too well to allow yourself to be that naive.

"I dream of nothing more, Aleksander." you whispered, making sure only he could hear his real name. He smiled, cupping your cheek with his hand and placing a tender kiss on your forehead.

"What will we do with the rebels, moi soverennyi?" one of his Grishas caught your attention. Your heart beat slightly faster at the mention of your friends. Another trick you had to pick up pretty quickly with so many heartrenders by your side. You silently thanked Nina every time you used her trick to calm your heartbeat. Only thanks to her, no one has yet received any clues or evidence that you can play the role of a double agent. "Or deserters? They should not have the honour of seeing Ravka get greater after years of oppression."

"The courts will judge them. We will not deal with such unimportant things; as soon as we secure our country from hostile neighbours, we will deal with internal changes. We'll make sure the Grisha are safe on their own land. There will be time for everything else later."

The courts... when Aleksander's plans come true, he will become a tsar. Establisher of new laws. Guardian of peace and justice. He will judge his enemies. You couldn't let any of your friends stand in front of him then. Or better, to prevent Aleksander IV/The Darkling from reigning at all.

"The sooner we get there, the better. What do you think, moonlight?"

"The people are tired, and our horses are too. I don't think a day's delay will do us any harm. Everyone will have enough time to gain strength and prepare for the firebird hunt or other tasks."

"With all due respect, moi soverenyi, Lady Y/N is right. The mood in the camp is not good; people could use a little respite."

"Then it will be as my moon said. Tell our people to get ready for tomorrow. You can get some rest yourselves. You all are free." Aleksander released them, shocking both his men and you with how easily he changed his mind.

He put his hand on your thigh, stopping you from leaving the tent with his soldiers. It wasn't until the last Grisha was out of your sight that he turned completely towards you.

"Are you sure everything's okay? You've been acting weird lately." he asked, examining your face carefully. You really wish Genya was here… she'd be better at concealing your dark circles than face powder.

"Weird? No I... I just trying to fit into a new role. I have to admit that it's very hard to be you." he chuckled, moving your chair closer to him so you could lean against his side. He ran one hand through your hair and wrapped the other around your waist to feel you against him.

"I don't know what you do or how you charm everyone around you, but you don't have to try very hard to earn their respect. They already value your decisions and adore you. They even call you a Sankta. It's so much more than I'll ever be."

"Should I call you Sankt Aleksander, then?" you asked, raising an eyebrow with a teasing smirk on your face, to which he just snorted in amusement. If you were a heartrender, you would know how his heart beat faster as soon as he saw that smile on your face.

"As long as I have my own star shining for me, I can stay known as The Saint With No Stars." he said, kissing your cheek and resting his forehead against the side of your head. You sat like that for a while, enjoying the hug and each other's presence.

It wasn't just your people who were tired. You two, too, have felt the burden of the past few weeks acutely. The search for amplifiers, the fights between Aleksander and Alina, your secret help to the crows, performing in front of an audience, recruiting new Grishas—Aleksander's entire war campaign took its toll on him as well as on you.

And while you wanted to curse yourself for seeking solace in the arms of the man who made you go through all of this, you just couldn't (and didn't want to) deprive yourself of his comforting presence. Ironic, right? To find peace and safety in the arms of someone you should hate with all your heart.

"You're not alone, my little saint. You can tell me everything that bothers you. You don't have to deal with your thoughts by yourself." he whispered into your hair, holding you tighter.

He wasn't Kaz. If he had heard even a speck of your doubts, he would have increased his guard around you and watched you more than before. He couldn't know what was in your head, what tormented you day and night, or the moral struggle within you. That you felt something for both of them at the same time. And that even if you tried so hard for the last few weeks, you couldn't sort out your feelings.

"It goes both ways, Aleksander." you mumbled, pulling away from him so you could cup his cheek with your hand.

You ran your finger across one of his black scars. He narrowed his eyes as soon as he felt your soft skin on his scar. You knew he hated them. That he despised any reminder of what had happened in the fold. About how his volcra played with him. For a moment, you thought he would drop the idea of extending the fold after this. However, in some strange way, his encounter with the volcras only strengthened that desire.

You planted a small, tender kiss on one of the particularly large scars—the one running down the centre of his face. Aleksander sighed tremblingly.

"Using merzost and summoning nichevo'ya only makes them worse. You do not have to do that. You don't have to destroy yourself from within to fight this war."

"I'm not weak. I know my limits, Y/N."

"I never doubted it, Aleksander." you ran your hand through his hair, calming his anger. You've probably both been surprised at how easily you can change his mood every time you do it. "You are hundreds of years old, more experienced in your power than any Grisha on this earth. That doesn't mean that you'll listen to your limits or that you won't push yourself beyond your safe border. You know what I'm worrying about all the time? You. Whenever you use this."

"Don't bother yourself with it. I'll always be back for you. No matter how many nichevo'ya I summon or how much merzost I use. Nothing can keep me away from you."

You didn't answer anything. Instead, you moved to his lap and caught his lips in a tender kiss.

It was your safe answer to each of his gentle declarations of love. He would never refuse your kiss; the feeling of your soft, warm lips on his was like nothing else he had known or felt in hundreds of years. Unfortunately for you, he wasn't the only one whose heart beat faster the moment your lips met.

And even though neither of you trusted each other, you enjoyed that little sweet moment between you two. After all, everyone needs someone close to them.

Even an enemy company was still better than none. But could you still call Aleksander your enemy?

~•♤♤♤•~

You had to admit that even though you were "on Darkling's team," not much had really changed in your life. For example, for balance, instead of dreaming about Aleksander, you dreamed about Kaz… and you didn't know which of those dreams were worse.

On nights like this, when you lay by Kirigan's side (which was rare considering how much of a workaholic he was), you weren't afraid that he'd accidentally hear you whisper Brekker's name. Even the shadow lord had to rest sometime, and when he did, he usually slept soundly.

That's why you fell asleep peacefully, wondering if your mind would give you at least a moment of peace and let you enjoy a blissful, unconscious sleep.

You groaned as an unimaginable amount of light hit your eyes. You rubbed your eyes and turned on your other side to hide your face on the shoulder of the man next to you. A very familiar and rare giggle made you open your eyes immediately.

"Kaz?"

"Finally. I thought I wouldn't wake you up until noon. And believe me, I've tried many things. Even the trumpets." he was surprisingly in good spirits, and the mere fact that he didn't flinch from embracing you while you were lying on the same bed under the same duvet told you it was just a dream again.

A real Kaz would never do something like that.

No matter how much you want it.

"You obviously didn't try hard enough." you finally choked out, glad to see that familiar amused-annoyed look on his face.

"Well, our little crow couldn't wake you up either."

"Little crow?" you asked, confused, but the man ignored your question. He ripped the covers off you, to your surprised squeal, and tossed them on one of the armchairs.

"I'll take care of her today. You and Jes are on a scouting mission at one of the mansions of those "rich snobs," as you like to call them. And for the saints' sake, Y/N, it's just a scouting mission. Our daughter doesn't have the best role models anyway; it doesn't help that her mother fights all over the place with literally everyone just because she's a powerful moon summoner and thinks she can do anything." he said as he was going through the closet. He threw some clothes at you, laughing when instead of you catching them, you let them hit your face.

You were so shocked that you couldn't make a move.

"Daughter?" your question remains unanswered again.

"Get dressed and go downstairs. Nina is making breakfast. I think you wouldn't want to miss it, Moonstone."

He left the room, leaving you dazed on the bed. What the fuck was going on here? You had a daughter. With Kaz. It really was a twisted dream.

You got dressed anyway and looked around the room. No extraordinary things. Just a bedroom with things that would probably belong to Kaz and you. You sighed as you opened the door. Your room was normal, practically identical to Kaz's, but the hallway looked... homely. Too homely, judging by the toys scattered around and the drawings of crows, Kaz, you, and some little kid. Your child.

Having no idea what might be waiting for you downstairs (apart from Nina making waffles and Kaz), you hesitantly descended the stairs as if they would take you to the heart of a great battle.

And you could partly say you were right.

You made your way to the living room, where everything else looked pretty normal. A few drawings, crayons, and pencils were strewn across the floor (some of the child's masterpieces were intertwined with Kaz's plans), but other than the usual mess, there was nothing out of the ordinary here.

The problem started behind the door leading to the dining room with an open kitchen, from where came children's shouts and laughter.

"Mom!" something small attacked you as you walked into the room, hugging your legs with all its strength so that you almost fell to the floor. "Aunt Inej helped me climb a huge tree! And Uncle Jes, Wylan, and Mat promised me and Lily that they would make us a playhouse on it. And you know what?! Dad taught me a new trick; can I show you?"

The pleading reflection in the eyes, so similar to yours and attached to a little face that was the perfect combination of you and Kaz, left you speechless. You were looking at your daughter. Child of the Moon Summoner and a Bastard from the Barrel.

"After breakfast, little spitfire. Let your mother wake up. Our moon girl doesn't take mornings very well." Jes answered for you as she dragged you to the table where the rest of the crows were sitting. Between him and Wylan sat their own princess, probably the same age as your daughter.

It might be unrealistic for the crows to be sitting in your kitchen eating breakfast before going on their missions, but you had to admit that as strange as it was, the dream was very... enjoyable. Especially when you saw your daughter climb into her father's lap and order him to cut the waffle into smaller pieces.

Even though you could barely make sense of the situation, everything seemed... normal.

As if Inej should always be showing the children tricks with her knives at the table, and Wylan and Jes should be bantering at your table with themselves and their adopted daughter like a good old couple.

As if Nina was always meant to be your cook, laughing at that "Mr. Amazing Hat" should have paid her double for feeding you all while she forced Matthias to help her.

As if Kaz was doomed to watch them all with a little smirk, occasionally giving you a fond look while he entertained your daughter on his lap.

And for a moment, you felt as if you belonged to this world of your invention, as if you had always belonged there.

The crows dispersed (too fast for you), leaving you alone with Kaz and your daughter, who ran upstairs to get ready to spend the day with Uncle Wylan, Lily, and Dad.

And when Kaz took your hand, pulled your chair closer to his, and caught your lips in a soft, sweet "good luck" kiss, you prayed to all the saints you knew to never wake up from this dream.

"Be even a minute late and I'll send half the Dregs after you." you shivered as his ungloved hand caressed your cheek gently.

"Kaz Brekker worried about someone? I can't believe I lived to see that day." he adjusted the ring on your finger—the exact same one he gave you to defend against the Darkling—and planted a kiss on your ring finger.

"I take care of what's mine." you knew from the mischievous twinkle in his eyes that the bastard had something planned… you never thought he'd want to leave you a hickey on the most sensitive spot on your neck. You held your breath, not thinking, as you threaded your hand through his hair, pulling him closer. "Y/N Brekker has not given any feisty answer? I can't believe I lived to see that day."

And just as his hands finally touched the skin of your hot waist, your treacherous mind decided to end this beautiful, unrealistic dream... making you long for this moment and life you'll never have.

~•♤♤♤•~

You hate waking up like this.

When you had to return to this role. To fight emotions that did not make it any easier for you to make an already difficult decision.

Despite your pure, selfish desire to live as a simple crow, partner in crime (and not only) to Kaz Brekker, you've had to face the fact that you ARE a Sankta. Grisha. The world has given you a role you never wanted. But now that Aleksander had acquainted you with all otkazat'sas crimes against your people, you could not stand aside.

You had to finally take a side.

And you had to do it faster than you'd like.

You sighed as you looked around the empty bedroom. You saw a patch of light behind the curtain separating the Darkling's office from your bedroom. Without thinking, you pulled off the warm duvet and walked barefoot all the way to his office.

You stopped at the entrance to his office, watching as he busily worked on some sketches. His shadows hovered obediently around the distracted man, who hadn't even noticed your silent presence.

"You'll work yourself to death someday, making it too easy for your enemies." you accosted him, sending a streak of very bright light onto the papers he was holding.

You slowly walked towards him; the shadows parted on your way to the dark-haired man, who had been staring only at you since you turned his desk into a bedside lamp.

"Only if I'm not blinded by my moonlight first." with a flick of your wrist, your light disappeared, making the glow of the candle flames the only light in the general's "dark office".

"You're slowly turning into a mole, you know that, right?" he chuckled, extending his arm towards you. You walked over to him and leaned against him as he pulled you closer to him with one hand. "What is this?" you asked curiously, taking one of the sketches on his desk.

The man next to you tensed, trying to snatch the paper from your hands. You sat on top of him, reaching your arms high up to prevent him from doing so.

"Milaya..." he grunted a warning, placing his hands on your waist so you wouldn't accidentally fall off his lap.

Once you had a good look at the drawing, you turned in his arms and slid down so that your back was resting against his chest. You turned your head to look at his face. He stared at the drawing, avoiding your questioning gaze.

"Is it a house plan? Why are you drawing something like this?" he gave you a puzzled look, which made you snort in annoyance. "Don't look at me like that. I'll recognise your line anywhere. What is it for?"

He sighed, gently taking the paper from your hands and tossing it on the desk. He stared at her for a moment, unsure of what to say. But as soon as his gaze met yours, he opened up.

"After our conversation today, I thought that being Ravka's queen isn't something you needfully want… that's why I have this alternative."

"And what exactly are you thinking about?"

"Well… we'd have to take the reins of the new country for a while, but later, when things settle down? Someone else may be dealing with the weight of power."

"Wait… you… are you telling me you don't want to be a tsar?" you were shocked. You didn't know if he was playing with you or if he was being completely honest for the first time you'd met him. His words couldn't be trusted, but his eyes... when they looked at you so vulnerable... It was impossible to even think that there were evil intentions behind those eyes.

"As long as I have you? I don't want a throne, a crown, or having to go to those extravagant balls for highborn nobles who are too self-absorbed to take care of their people. And the last thing I want is to see you miserable because of the life you didn't want to."

"Hundreds of years on earth, and all your dreams are limited to living in a little hut with some moon summoner?"

"Lapushka, these are just preliminary plans. I'm not going to build you a little hut. It will be a palace."

And what could you say when a powerful Black Heretic volunteered to leave his established position just to fulfil some of your stupid dreams of a simple, normal life? What could you say when those captivating dark eyes, eyes that have seen more than one battle and cruel death, stared at you with such affection and devotion?

You did what you always did when you didn't know what to say to him.

You gently grabbed his neck and pulled him into a kiss. If he understood that you only did it when he left you speechless, he didn't show it at all. He enjoyed every ounce of your affection.

"Let's go back to bed, Sasha… tomorrow is also a day." you whispered into his mouth as you pulled away.

"Go. I'll be joining you soon."

You nodded, stepping slowly off his lap and forming a small ball of light in your hand, and headed back towards your bedroom.

"Thank you, Y/N." it completely froze you in place. You stood halfway to the "doorway" to your bedroom, completely unsure of what or why he was thanking you for. Someone who should rather curse you instead of being grateful for anything.

"Whatever for?" you asked, turning to face him, glad you managed to keep your voice from shaking.

"For believing in me. That you are one of the few who still stay by me. I wasn't completely honest, zyoma maya olya. Not with you. Not with anyone for many centuries. Despite my half-truths, you still chose to forgive me. To trust me. To be by my side. To help me." he said, walking over to you with his eyes fixed on yours in such a way that you realised those irises would be your undoing. In one way or another. "I just… I've been fighting this war alone for so long…" a red light went on in your head as soon as his hand cupped your cheek.

He was playing with you. He tried again to manipulate and deceive you. Your mind screamed for you to move away from his touch and do anything to break this spell between you. But your foolish heart was deaf to anything other than Aleksander's voice.

And those fucking puppy eyes he was giving you…

"You're not alone, Aleksander. Not anymore."

No matter how much you wanted to deceive yourself and your mind.

No matter how much you fought against his charm.

It was true. You will be with him till the end...

Either stabbing him in the back or being his queen. You weren't sure how it was going to end yet.

And your confused emotions and gullible heart only made it harder to hate the man who kissed you, like nothing in this world but you mattered to him.

~•♤♤♤•~

This time, you weren't plagued by any strange dreams about the future you might have had.

You woke up alone as usual to a tiny ray of sunlight that somehow made its way through the general's black tent. You involuntarily thought about Alina. Baghra told you she was supposed to take control of your little rebel group. You couldn't help but worry about the fate of the sun summoner. She didn't want to be a saint either. But she seemed to accept it better than you did.

"Moya soverennyia?" you sighed as someone's voice pierced through the tent. You really weren't up to it today.

"Yes?" you ask while still basking in the warmth of a bed.

"The general ordered me to tell you that we're leaving in two hours."

"Thank you."

Fortunately, the messenger merely set your breakfast tray down and did not disturb you any more. Reluctantly, you dragged yourself out of bed, changed clothes, and began flipping through the new letters to both you and the general.

Nothing could have prepared you for a letter from Colonel Rietveld.

With trembling hands, you broke the seal and opened the letter, making sure the envelope was burned in the fireplace as soon as possible. You didn't know how much time you had before Ivan or Fedyor burst in. You had to be quick.

Moya soverenyia,

I hate that name for you so much that it hurts me just to write it down.

Don't worry, I'm not a fool who writes such things at the very beginning of the letter without making sure that only your hands can open it. Despite your firm belief that I have remained that stupid, rash boy, I must say that I am not.

(And you know how much I "hate" proving you wrong.)

I don't know how much time you have to yourself (although I hope HE leaves you much longer compared to the time he is with you. I also believe you realise he doesn't deserve an ounce of your light.) so instead of properly scolding you for saving us and playing hero (lecture you won't miss), I'll get to the point.

We are close. Closer than he realises. That's why you don't have to play martyr, spy, hero, or whatever you're pretending to be now.

We need you with us to end the fold and HIM once and for all.

I need you.

So if you can… come to us. You know where to find me us. Crows always find their way to their nest.

I We are waiting for you, moon girl.

K.B.R.

P.S. I dare you to come back and take what's yours.

I will have you, Kaz Brekker. But only when it's safe for both of us.

"The crows always find their way to the nest… stupidest hint you could have given me, Kazzle."

"Y/N?! Are you ready to go?"

Fedyor's voice snapped you out of your thoughts about Brekker. You threw the letter into the fire, making sure that there was nothing left of it but ashes. Then you took your black-silver kefta and went outside with the heartrender for your first meeting with colonels.

Alina and the crows needed you. Kaz needed you.

If you were to run away, you'd have to do it at night, when Aleksander's guard dogs weren't watching your every step and he himself was sound asleep beside you. You just didn't know if you should do it. Running away would be your ultimate betrayal to Aleksander... betrayal to the other Grisha. Were you ready to fight the people you've become close to over the last few weeks?

All the people inside and outside the tent believed in their Sankta Y/N. That you will widen the fold together with Aleksander. That you will give them peace after years of fear, humiliation, and ridicule. That they would get their own safe piece of land to call home. But is it possible to build a house on the blood, tears, and bones of others?

The meeting dragged on unmercifully, and the mere fact that Aleksander was missing made you suspicious. He did not miss such meetings. Never. Something very important must have happened.

You finished the meeting earlier than planned. Fortunately, no one complained and they obediently left the tent. Fedyor walked you back and left you alone after you lied that you needed to finish packing and that you'd rather do it yourself without anyone's help.

You managed to sneak out of the tent without anyone by your side and go to the tent where Baghra was being held. You had a feeling that Aleksander might have gone there secretly from you. And you were right.

You slipped inside unnoticed and hid behind the tent's multiple layers of curtains, making sure none of them saw you. The shadows circling around the tent only made your task easier.

"Where is your sobachka? She never leaves your side, not if it isn't necessary." you rolled your eyes at the woman's snarky comment. She was lucky you preferred to eavesdrop on them.

"It's nice to see that you're starting to warm up to your future daughter-in-law and are worried about her. Y/N is resting before we left. I guess you understood that this is your last chance to tell me everything you know about a firebird."

"You want to marry her? Does she know about your plans?" she asked, as shocked by his idea as you were.

"No, but thanks, Baghra. At least you're interested in my opinion." you shuddered at the thought of having a woman as your mother-in-law. One of you would definitely not survive this.

"She'll find out at the right time."

"Like about everything else, darling." you thought bitterly. Maybe they were all right. Maybe Aleksander really was a lost cause, not worthy of your time...

"You don't want to learn from your mistakes, do you, boy?" at least you weren't the only one who thought so too. As you could see, Aleksander, however, did not care much about her words, or at least he did not show it.

"What do you mean?" he asked and took a step towards her, getting dangerously close to your hiding place.

"I don't recall Miss Y/L/N appreciating your half-truths lately. Despite what happened, you still repeat your actions. What a pity. But it's good for her. Maybe this time she will be smart enough to see that all you care about is your power and nothing more."

Baghra was right. You three knew it. A pre-Ravka Y/N; a girl before becoming a moon summoner; a thief before being kidnapped from Ketterdam would have fled to the other continent before the Darkling long ago. But you've changed... not exactly for the better.

"Y/N is by my side. She is all that matters now to me. She is the future. She will stay with me till the end. She is the one…"

By my side. I've always seen you by my side.

"Yes, I know she is." she cut him off with her trademark mocking smile. "But WHERE does her loyalty lie, boy?"

It was a very good question. A question you and Aleksander didn't have a sure answer to. You could say that he doubted your loyalty too, judging by the way he tensed slightly under his mother's gaze. But you knew him too well for a moment to have the illusion that he would let Baghra win their duel of words.

"Be careful. You don't really matter anymore. I can find the answer to my question without you. Y/N will help me."

I can only do this with you by my side. As my equal. As a person who thinks like me and can keep up with my plans. As my partner. As the only one I can trust.

"You put so much hope in this girl. What a naive child you became. She doesn't love you and never will love again. Once broken, trust cannot be rebuilt, Aleksander. Whatever beautiful lies she feeds you, they are just empty words. She will leave you. She'll run back straight into her boyfriend's arms right after she stabs you in that black, cold heart."

The silence after her words was painful. For both you and the man. Yes. It could all end like this. It would probably even be best for you - to get away from it all, from him, even before all hell breaks loose with the fold, Grishas and Otkazat'syas in the lead roles.

You could live peacefully. No saints, Grishas, power-hungry people, or your possibly dying just because of what you've become. Only you, Kaz and the crows.

I dare you to come back and take what's yours.

But could you just abandon the Grishas? To leave it all behind, like an unpleasant memory, and cut off from Ravka and her problems forever? Get away from HIM?

I will be back for you, my Y/N. Wherever you are hiding from me.

No. If Baghra was right about anything, it was that Aleksander would not stop chasing you as long as you lived. You were stuck with him. The light of his darkness... unless you eclipse him so much that there will never be any more shadows accompanying the moonlight.

I may not believe in saints, but I believe in you, Y/N. I will always believe in you.

You could have done it. You knew you were capable of this and even greater things. You could kill them both right now if you wanted to. Thanks to the little amplifier Aleksander had already given you, you were much more powerful than any of the shadow summoners.

But could you live without YOUR darkness?

"Tell me where to find the firebird." Aleksander's demand snapped you out of your thoughts. Only now have you noticed that Baghra has somehow gotten out of her shackles, summoning her shadows against her own son.

"It's too late for the firebird, boy."

"Please don't threaten me. It will be the worst for you." he didn't want to fight her. You saw it very clearly in his eyes. And you'd be lying if you said you weren't pleasantly surprised.

"You know that I loved you, Aleksander. I swear I did. But I guess it wasn't enough."

You don't agree with her. She could love him more—enough to wisely outsmart him and set him on the right path. But if she couldn't do it—his own mother— then how big were your chances?

"No, please no! No! Please! No! No!" dread. Something you've never heard in a Darkling's voice or thought he could feel. The sheer fear he showed immediately sparked your action.

You came out of hiding, running inside just in time to get between nichevo'ya and Baghra. A bright white light shot from your hand, blinding everyone in the tent except you. The nichevo'ya moved away from the woman and Aleksander, fleeing from you into a corner.

You glanced at Baghra, making sure she was okay, and ran over to Aleksander, who was kneeling on the floor.

"Y/N?" his low, scared tone of voice made your heart clench with grief. You knelt next to him, wrapping your arms around him tightly and rocking him back and forth.

"It's okay, Sasha. Nothing happened, everyone is fine."

"I… I didn't mean it. I swear. I…" he stuttered through his tears as the effects of summoning nichevo'ya took their toll on him.

"Shh, I know. Everything's all right, just give me a second, Sasha." Aleksander hugged you tighter, to Baghra's snort, which you shot a stern look at. Surprisingly, the woman looked away from you, wincing slightly. You were shocked that she left this tender, almost defenceless gesture of her son without comment. You glanced at her reddened neck from the grip of the shadows. Nichevo'ya must have hurt her badly to show signs of pain. Someone had to take her away and heal her. But you couldn't just leave him like that. "It's okay. I'll stay with you, Aleksander. I am not going anywhere." you whispered, placing a soft, tender kiss on his temple, back to making him sure he's safe. "Ivan!"

You've never been so grateful for the presence of a man hovering over you all the time. From your one glance, Ivan knew what to do next without hesitating for a moment: enter the tent full of shadows and lead Baghra out.

Now all you had to do was deal with the trembling Darkling in your arms, who seemed to cling to you like a child to a teddy bear after a nightmare.

"It's okay. They can't hurt anyone. I made sure they did not come any closer. You're safe, Sasha." you continued to whisper, stroking his back.

After a few minutes of listening to your comforting voice and heartbeat, it calmed him down enough for him to stop clinging desperately to you. He had you on his lap, running his hands over your body - making sure his shadows didn't hurt you.

You knelt like that for a while, looking into each other's eyes in silence. And for a moment, very brief and fleeting, you felt blissful, utter peace, completely forgetting about the cares waiting for you behind the tent curtain.

About people waiting for further commands from their soverenyias.

About the fact that holding you man was a terrible liar.

Love is for madmen, Y/N.

"How much of that have you heard?"

"Enough to know that you can't control them. None of them."

"I can… but only for a while." he murmured, still looking into your eyes and cupping your cheek. It took you a moment to realise what his words meant.

Your light was gone. And the Nichevo'ya themselves returned to him. Which should be impossible, considering you attacked them moments earlier. They should want to kill you. Just like Baghra.

And then the truth hit you.

Aleksander wasn't lying when he told you that you were his anchor. Only with you near him could he fully control his new power.

You didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"Aleksander..." you chose to whisper his name tenderly and pull him into a kiss to calm both his maddening heart and your tangled thoughts.

You may have just saved Baghra, but will you be able to repeat your feat for someone else? Will Aleksander's shadows listen to him again and refrain from attacking you?

If Darkling had no control over them, why was he so desperate to enlarge the fold - to inflict even more pain on himself? Did he want to get rid of them this way - by exploiting most of his power? Or maybe he knew that his end was near anyway, and enlarging the fold was meant to be the culmination of his whole life? Maybe that's why he was so willing to give up a future for you. A future that he wouldn't have anyway?

You had so many questions, but the only person who knew the answers to them didn't seem willing enough to reveal their secrets. And yet... maybe it was enough just to talk to him? Before Kaz, the crows, Alina and Mal put their plan into action and got rid of him forever.

I dare you to come back and take what's yours.

Were you brave enough to confront the Black Heretic about the truth he was hiding? Did you even want to be privy to his plans?

I will have you, Kaz Brekker. But only when it's safe for both of us.

One thing was certain.

You had to choose a side.

Before it's too late to rescue your true love.

*Yes, there are two endings*

~•♤♤♤•~It's okay to love them both. I did - Katerina Petrova~•♤♤♤•~

You didn't know if you were doing the right thing.

You didn't know if removing the fold would actually solve the problem, or if it could have been solved peacefully by convincing the Otkazat'syas to create equal rights for the Grisha.

You didn't know if, after destroying the fold with Alina and giving Ravka's power to Nikolai, the situation would stabilise at all.

You didn't know if you could defeat the Darkling.

But you knew where and to whom to run as soon as the first stars appeared in the sky.

You weren't thinking at all. You just grabbed a few essentials and left everything behind as you ran straight ahead, exactly where your instincts told you to go. It's as if the moon and stars themselves led you to HIM.

Kaz was right. Crows know how to find their way to the nest.

You don't know who was more surprised. You or Inej patrolling their hideout. But you both agreed to throw yourselves into each other's arms as soon as your eyes met.

"It's good to see you." she murmured as the two of you parted. "Alina was worried that you'd changed your mind, that the Darkling had manipulated you again. Even Jes was panicking, and I have strong reason to believe Kaz is planning a way to get you out of HIS camp right now. Nina can't stand how his heart pounds every time the outside door opens."

"Then let's go inside before they storm against a hundred armed Grishas."

Inej put her arm around you and you both entered through a hidden passage to their "nest". You walked down the hall and were about to run inside when Inej grabbed your wrist and put her finger to her lips to silence you.

"For God's sake, Kaz, it's just Inej! Can you calm down before you have a heart attack because you get excited every time someone opens that damn door?!" Nina's annoyance amused you. You giggled, feeling genuine and carefree for the first time in months.

A sudden silence filled the living room. Inej dragged you with her to the entrance, confirming the crows' suspicions. You were home.

"What? No welcome hug for your moongirl? Ouch."

Jes was the first to lunge at you, nearly knocking you to the floor, and if it weren't for Alina, who was on your other side, hugging you with all her strength, you would have probably landed on the floor.

"About the damn time, Y/L/N."

You laughed a second time, hugging the rest of the crows who had joined you. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Nikolai and Mal watching the scene with a smile. However, the group was effectively blocking your view of the one person you desperately wanted to see.

The tap of the staff made the crows and Alina move away from you. You were standing in front of Kaz, composed as usual, whose face showed no emotions. But the eyes… you were probably one of the few who could read those eyes.

"Missed me, Kazzle?" you asked, grinning mischievously as his nickname left your lips.

However, he didn't respond to your provocation. He stared at you for a moment, then took one slow step towards you. Then the second. Third. Fourth. His cane tapped on the old wooden floor until he stood in front of you. You were centimetres apart.

And just as you were about to make some funny, sarcastic comment, something astonishing happened. Kaz Brekker, Bastard of the Barrel, Dirtyhands HUGGED you.

You already hugged him. You were so happy and blessed by the saints that you knew the feeling of those arms around you. But he'd never done it so... calmly. As if his waters would never rise. As if Jordie couldn't appear in front of his eyes at any moment. And the soft sigh that only you could hear as he buried his face in your hair hinted at relief. Not fear. Not anxiety. Not disgusted by the touch. Just relief. And comfort.

"Welcome home, moonlight."

You didn't know how long your hug lasted or when the others left the room, leaving you alone. All you knew was that at that moment, your world was limited to the man in front of you. Your friend. A partner in crime. Your one true love.

Suddenly (much to your silent protest), he pulled away from you. You watched in surprise as he began to take off his glove. The ring stone gleamed in the candlelight, as did your white light, which unconsciously began to emanate from you the moment he hugged you.

"It belongs to you." he caught your eye, and without taking his eyes off yours, he took your left hand gently and put the ring on your finger. You shivered as his warm fingers touched your icy skin. You watched mesmerised as he leaned over your hand and placed a quick kiss on your ring finger.

"Who are you and what have you done with Kaz Brekker?" you whispered in a trembling voice, unable to believe what was happening.

"No snide remark about how unromantic I am proposing to you? Who are you and what have you done with Y/N Y/L/N?"

"You know damn well you need a bigger ring to propose to me."

"Duly noted." you giggled, which made him smile softly. You stared at each other, taking in the sight of each other and watching the changes in your appearance. You were both tired. You could tell by the dark circles under your eyes, but nothing could take away the sparkle of happiness. "I thought you'd stay. WITH HIM."

"I guess I just can't stay away from you for long. Even if there is someone who needs my help more than you."

"We need you. I… I need you." with his still-gloved hand, he cupped your cheek, never relaxing his grip on your hand as he moved closer to you. "I want you, Y/N Y/L/N. And I'm not gonna wait ages for you, just because it's never going to be safe for us. That's how we both live. Still in danger, fighting our enemies as well as we can. We can bear and deal with as many problems as no one else. If you hadn't come back for me, I would have come for you. And if I couldn't walk, I'd crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we'd fight our way out together—knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that's what we do. We never stop fighting. I… I will never stop fighting to be back with you. And those months without you… I told Pekka that the trick is not to love anything. Never, in all the years that you were gone and that I had you by my side in my worst and my best moments, have I ever realised that I was fooling myself. I loved this whole time, I still love and I'll always love."

"Kruge?" you saw him fight both his irritation and a smirk that threatened to break his bitter façade.

"I'm trying to be romantic for you here."

"And I'm trying not to cry and look even more like a mess. So forgive me for intruding on your speech with my comments you didn't anticipate, Brekker." he smiled, which made you mentally congratulate yourself on this small victory.

"I want you, Y/N Y/L/N. All of you." he suddenly let go of your hand and cupped your other cheek, moving so close that your noses were almost touching. The feel of his skin on yours was unearthly. It felt like a dream. And you'd curse any saint if it all turned out to be just another one of your dreams. "No matter what I have to do."

He was fighting with his haphephobia. For you. Because of you. And the sudden, impossible thought at that moment that you could live like in your dream crossed your mind.

You would take anything he could give you. It doesn't matter how much it would be, if it were just quick kisses on the forehead, hand, cheek, or a hug once a month. You don't care, as long as you have him.

"You've never had a problem getting what you wanted. What's stopping you now?"

And if Nina was annoyed by Brekker's rapid heart rate before, now she was furious when your heart had a fucking fit when Kaz kissed you.

You gasped in shock, freezing in place as you felt his soft lips on yours. Only after a moment, when Kaz wanted to move away from you in embarrassment, you grabbed him by the hair and pulled him to you, returning the kiss with all your longing and burning heart for him.

He must have breathed in relief as you took control and guided his inexperienced lips (although you had to be honest, he made the heat spread over you - which the sudden flash of white light illuminating the room only proved). You had to work on this sudden release of your light in his presence. Something that Brekker won't fail to joke about at the earliest opportunity.

You moved away from each other. You watched him closely, making sure he was okay. Kaz pushed your hair behind your ear and leaned in for another kiss. You were about to stop him, fearing it would be too much for him all at once, but luckily someone else interrupted you.

"Finally! The tension between you could be cut with a knife. Zenik! Give me my money! I was right—he'd pounce on her as soon as he saw her. That's my boy! Look, Wylan, how fast they grow. Only yesterday, he was our little boy who hadn't had his first kiss yet."

"Jesper." Kaz growled, glaring at him sternly. You were amazed at how quickly he went from sweet Rietveld to menacing Brekker.

"Yes, brother?"

"Run."

Jesper didn't need to be told twice. He grabbed Wylan's hand and dragged him deeper into the hideout, laughing. From the loud slam of the door, you guessed he had locked himself in their room with him.

"Saints, Kaz, you can actually look happy!" Nina decided to take over the role of the absent Jes.

"Don't be ridiculous." he snarled, taking your hand and pushing his way through the people in the hallway, probably following in Jes' footsteps and locking the two of you into his own room.

But Nina was right. There was no mistaking it for anything else. Kaz Brekker was smiling like an idiot in love. And you probably had a similar smirk on your flushed face.

~•♤♤♤•~

You made it. You and Alina destroyed the fold. With fascination, all of you watched as it slowly disappeared from the world.

But it wasn't over yet. You glanced briefly at Kaz and the crows and nodded to Alina. The final stage of your plan. Defeating the Darkling.

You and Alina separated, walking through the remnants of the fold with your own lights at the ready.

You knew you'd be the one to find him. He wouldn't mind adding even more drama to the situation.

After you left him, he tried to contact you by infiltrating your dreams, but with the two amplifires in your body, you were now too powerful for that trick to work any longer.

You walked among the worst of the remaining shadows, knowing full well that he must be among them. You could feel it through your bond.

"Aleksander." you said without turning to face him. You knew that he was there, watching you, as always.

"Y/N. Are you going to kill me?" the mockery in his question fueled your anger. You turned around, drawing your sword in front of you. You were right. He stood surrounded by the remnants of the fold that defended itself against the destructive power of you and Alina.

"You left me no other choice." you snapped back, tensing as he took a step towards you, not caring at all about the weapon in your hands.

"Your hands are shaking. It doesn't make you look like a formidable opponent, my Y/N."

"I don't want to kill you, Aleksander. I never wanted to." you decided to change your tactics. You lowered your sword and walked over to him, facing the man as you both stared at each other.

"We could have changed the world. You and me. Together."

"Yes. We could." his gaze flicked to your lips for a moment, then he looked at your eyes again, searching for any feelings in them. This time, you'll lure him into your trap. You will be his end, just like you promised him. Even though you really didn't want to. "But I was never yours, Aleksander. I was meant to be a crow. Not a saint. Not a moon summoner. Not your equal. Maybe we could have had it all, but not in this life."

"We shall meet again, Y/N. This is not the end of our story."

"Possibly…" you took a step closer, resting your forehead against his. "But it will continue only in hell." before he could summon the shadows, you blinded him with your light, and in one swift movement, you plunged your sword through his heart.

"Without me… now they will come for you." he tried to scare you by reminding you of his shadows.

"Then let them come." you took the sword out of him, flinching as black liquid began to drip from the blade to the ground. Aleksander fell to his knees. You dropped your weapon and grabbed him as you helped him lay on the ground as he took his last breaths.

"And yet I die in your arms." he paused, coughing up black blood. Your guilt increased as grief overcame you. He didn't deserve such an ending, but you knew there was no other way but his death. "Make sure there is nothing left from me. Please, Y/N. Please."

"You have my word... I'm sorry, Aleksander." he cupped your cheek with his hand, staring intently at you as death slowly took him away.

"Don't be… my sweet, little saint." his hand dropped, and his head tilted back towards the moon shining next to the sun. Aleksandr Morozova died.

You screamed, suddenly feeling the light in your chest trying to split you apart. You don't know how long you screamed air from your lungs until the pain went away. With tears still streaming from your eyes, you stood up on shaky legs.

"Y/N?!" Alina ran over to you, immediately helping you stay on your feet. "What happened? We only saw your light and heard your scream."

"I… I don't know… I… I don't feel my power, Alina." the sun summoner had no time to reply. Kaz was on the other side immediately, carefully examining your face and body for any wounds. "I'm fine, Kazzle. Will you help me? I… I promised him something."

Brekker glanced at the Darkling's lifeless body. He nodded to you, handing you his cane.

"Take it. And tell us what to do." you took it from him with trembling hands and stood leaning against it. It actually helped. It was easier for you to stand on your own two feet.

"We have to… we have to burn him."

The funeral, if you could call it that, was modest. Alina and Kaz (and later you, when you convinced Brekker that you could pick twigs with his cane) made a funeral pyre, and Alina lit it with her light.

Your power has not returned. You had your suspicions.

You stood at the burning pyre. Alina and you stared blankly at Aleksander, both in their own ways "mourning" his passing. You felt Kaz's burning, worried gaze on you as you stood holding the metal crow's head tightly in your hands.

"Are you sure that…"

"Yes, Kaz. I am okay. You don't have to worry, I'll give your cane back in a minute." he opened his mouth, ready to argue with you, but luckily, you were interrupted.

"What happened there?"Jesper asked you when the crows finally got to the three of you. They stared at the burning pyre in shock.

"I killed him… the Darkling... Aleksander. And I think I accidentally lost my powers because of it. He was an amplifier. Apparently you can only have a few before it takes your powers."

"Should we be concerned that you don't care too much?"

"No. I never wanted to be a saint. I guess it was always my destiny to be a crow." Kaz gave you a worried look. You sighed, nodding your head slightly. He knew you better than anyone else. He knew how the Darkling's death affected you. Even if you led him to it. He walked over to you and grabbed your hand, drawing letters on your skin.

I am with you. Through everything.

I know. Thank you, Kazzle.

"So this is the end?" Jesper's question pulled you both out of your silent conversation.

"Of this journey. There will be another. And another one. And another. And so many others until we all hadn't had our own palaces and tonnes of kruge." you said with a smirk, taking the hat from Kaz and putting it on your head, to the crows laughing and your boyfriend snorting.

"Sounds good to me, moongirl. Wait… we'll have to come up with a new nickname for you. But that's later. So? What's next, boss?"

Kaz glanced at Alina. She nodded at him, giving you a small, tired smile.

"Follow us." Kaz grabbed your hand and led you arm-in-arm. You both held on to his cane.

You smirked, out of the corner of your eye noticing Inej disappearing into the shadows and the rest of the crows following you. You turned your gaze to Kaz. You looked at each other, exchanging knowing smiles.

Ketterdam, your bastards are coming home.

~•♤♤♤•~It's okay to love them both. I did - Katerina Petrova~•♤♤♤•~

"What are you doing, lapushka?"

Even though he came from behind you, you didn't stop packing. You're used to him sneaking up on you when you least expect it. This time, you even felt his presence before he spoke.

"I'm packing my things."

"I can see that. My question is: WHY are you packing into your backpack instead of OUR chest?"

Several hours had passed since "the Baghra incident". The whole camp was packing up. Including you. You weren't going to stay here any longer and pretend everything was fine. Since Aleksander was going to pursue you anyway, you might as well break his heart before you leave. Just like he did with yours...

"You're a very, very clever man. I guess you can figure it out on your own. Like everything else." you replied coolly, never pausing to fold your clothes to give him even the slightest glance.

"Milaya… it was a really crappy few days. If you want to punish me, then…"

"I'm not your mother, Aleksander." you interrupted him coldly, not taking your attention for a moment from the things you were packing. "My job is not to raise, punish, admonish, or pay attention to you. But I don't think that you actually care when Baghra tries to give you some sense, so that would be pointless action from my side anyway."

"Then what is this? Manifestation of your anger and irritation? Should I get on my knees before you and apologise?"

"Well it would be nice, but as honest as saying that Ivan is our army's sunshine, so you can keep this, I believe, very considered apology for yourself."

"Then what do you want from me?"

"Nothing." your indifferent attitude annoyed him enough that he walked across the half of the tent to you in two steps and dumped the entire contents of your backpack onto the bed. "By acting like that, you're just proving me right." you replied, this time not folding anymore but immediately packing the clothes into the bag. Your mood lifted as you saw the annoyed, angry crease on his forehead.

"Right about what?! Leaving me just because…"

"THIS IS THE PROBLEM, ALEKSANDER!" you finally graced him with your gaze, turning towards the speechless man. You rarely screamed. Especially in anger. And almost never on him. "It isn't just a slight, unimportant thing that couples are fighting for. You broke my trust again! You hid the whole truth from me again! You put me in a position where I have no other choice but to leave you, so don't act like a surprised fool! It was you who broke us apart. It's always you. You want to make me the villain in our love story? Fine. Do it. But the truth is that YOU are the one who can't trust me. And yet it is you from our two who can't be trusted." during your furious monologue, you didn't even notice that you were walking up to him the whole time, until you pinned him against the wall of the tent.

You stared at him with resentful eyes, and just as you were about to pull away from him, you felt his hands on your wrist and neck. He changed your positions, moving much closer to you so that your chests were touching with each heavy breath you took in tandem.

"Careful, moonlight. You may know me, maybe even better than I do, but don't forget that I have that power over you too. If you wanted to go away, you would be now on your way to your pathetic friends' group. But you're here, talking to me. You don't want to leave. Why?"

"You know why." you whispered, refusing to admit what you both feel. You won't say the "L" word to him. Aleksander gently rubbed his nose against yours. The moment he was about to catch your lips in a kiss, you broke free from his grip and stood a few feet away from him. "But it doesn't matter what I want. I changed, Aleksander. I'm not going to stay. Not when you clearly don't want me to be your equal partner."

"I DO! Everything I do is for US!" he shouted, closing the distance between you.

"Then let me in! Completely. Not only to what's convenient for you to say to me. Or you will have no one to celebrate your great victory with. Surely not me." you growled, heading towards the exit of the tent, intending to leave him and it all behind you.

"Wait." you were not an obedient dog. He couldn't order you. "Please." the vulnerability in his voice shocked you enough to stop. A few steps from the exit. From ending everything you had ever had in common. "I was going to tell you about… about them… I just wanted to give you a little break before I put you again into my problems." you snorted in amusement, shaking your head in disbelief, when you heard the same fairy tale again. They were all right. He will never change. Not for you. "I was also scared!"

"Scared? Scared of what?" you groaned, turning to face him with folded arms.

"That I'll lose you the moment you realise I'm not as powerful as all of you think." you sighed, rubbing your forehead tiredly. You loved him. You really loved him. Despite everything he's done. But you've had enough of all of it by now.

"It isn't all about power, Aleksander. It never was. What a pity that you haven't realised it yet, after hundreds of years on this earth."

"And what choice did I have? With all those people who have always only wanted me dead? Who wanted other Grishas' deaths? Without power, you cannot do anything. You can't protect anyone by being weaker than your enemies, Y/N." he walked over to you and grabbed your hands, trying desperately to convince you to stay.

"You know what the real power is, Sasha? Family, love, friendship, loyalty—that's power. You can gain their respect, even make them fear you, and have them follow your every order without blinking, but this kingdom you want to create will not last the first century. Not if you continue to think like that. No one will follow the commands of a cruel Tsar who is afraid of losing control over everything and everyone."

"Watch your words. You're forgetting who you're talking to." he returned to this malevolent form of the Darkling. But you weren't a teenage Y/N from Ketterdam anymore. You were Grisha. Saint. Nobody and nothing could stop you.

"No. No, I don't. I'm talking with Aleksander. The man who taught me how to summon my light so I didn't have to train each day with his crazy mother. My Sasha, who stole for me chocolate for the kitchen and read to me Ravkan's fairy tales when my nightmares caught me at night. Not Kirigan or the Black Heretic. And you? Do you know who I'm talking to?" you asked, joining your hands again and forcing him to look into your eyes.

The sudden silence that filled the room after your words overwhelmed you more than your screams.

"Send for me when you know. I'm going to Kribirsk with Fedyor. You can join us when you have finally decided who you are."

You let go of his hands and gave him a disappointed look as you left the tent. You exhaled, shuddering as the chill night air hit your face, which was heated with emotion. Tears of helplessness began to come to your eyes. You couldn't change him. And even though you loved the shadow summoner in a strange way, you knew that being with him was destructive to both you and him. He couldn't be yours, and you didn't want to be his if that meant always being second to his Machiavellian plans.

Even though you and Aleksander had a fight about hiding the truth, you did it too. You weren't going anywhere with Fedyor. You went back to the crows. With a heavy heart, crying and dying inside because of the man you still loved. Feeling guilty that you left him alone and that this conversation will probably be your last until you all meet in the fold. Once he finds out you betrayed him, there's no going back. You will lose him forever.

You just hoped this whole war wouldn't end up as gruesome as in your nightmares.

And that he will be back for you.

~•♤♤♤•~

"You look like death."

Alina said as you made your way through the fold. You snorted, making room for her next to you, not taking your eyes off the shadows circling around you. If all goes your way, in two hours there won't be a trace of the fold... and neither will HE be.

"Thank you, Ali, you look as terrible in this war as I do."

"You know that's not what I mean. You miss him." you stood frozen, causing her to stop as well.

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do. I don't blame you for that. It's only logical that you feel that way about him. You have history and chemistry. I remembered how all the Little Palace was too scared to get on your nerves or train with you too hard in case Aleksander would get angry at them for "hurting his Y/N".

"This is the past, Alina. We're no longer in the Little Palace." you growled at her, trying to maintain your mask of indifference. You must not care about him.

"I just want to say… that I understand if..."

"There will be no ifs, Alina. It ends here." you cut her off before she could add anything else. You had one job as a moon summoner: to destroy the fold. You had to do it. Even at the cost of burying your own heart in the process.

Alina opened her mouth, probably wanting to continue arguing with you, when suddenly even more shadows surrounded you. Alexander must have been close. Which means that nichevo'ya and volcra too.

"Let's split up. One of us will distract him."

"Why do I feel like it's supposed to be me?! Alina!" you failed to stop the sun summoner. You cursed, summoning your light and scaring away the shadows circling around you.

The more you kept them away from you, the more they attacked you. You knew you had to leave the fold as soon as possible before you lost the last of your strength. You could have had two amplifiers, but you still couldn't match the power of the fold.

You started running in the direction you came from, hoping to run out of here and find Alina.

You didn't get far before one of the volcra grabbed your cloak, knocking you to the ground. You lost your concentration for a moment, and all the light around you went out. Panicked, you only managed to summon a small orb of light, which momentarily blinded the shadow creature.

You tried to get up, but the pain in your left leg wouldn't let you. You cursed as you saw a pool of blood gathering under your leg. You impaled yourself on some roots. A glorious death awaited you.

You closed your eyes, trying to summon as much light as possible to keep the volcras away from you.

Suddenly, instead of the warmth of your power, you felt more and more cold around you. One single tear spilled from your eye as you slowly began to accept your death and imprisonment by the shadows of the fold.

However, for a long time, nothing happened. You opened your eyes uncertainly and watched in a daze as the nichevo'ya chased the volcras away from you, attacking the more aggressive ones.

"It's okay. I've got you, milaya." his soft whisper against your ear gave you more comfort than any shadow or light. And you were ashamed of how much power he had over you.

You felt him gently take you in his arms, cutting off the roots you had impaled yourself with earlier. He secured your wound and wrapped his cloak around your legs. The Nichevo'ya continued to fight the volcra around you, scaring them away from you.

"Why? Why you did it?" you asked with a trembling voice. He had no interest in saving you. Your death would only help carry out his plans. And yet he entered the fold FOR YOU. And saved you from his volcras.

"You know why, zyoma maya olya (moon of my life)."

You didn't ask him anything else. You let yourself sink into his embrace and bury your head in the crook of his neck, inhaling that comforting scent. You almost fell asleep as you rocked gently in his arms with every step he took.

Suddenly, he stopped. You looked around. You were close to the exit. You turned your gaze to him, finding his eyes already staring at you.

"Alina is waiting for you on the other side. I believe some of the crows are there too." he was about to pull you to your feet, but you stopped him by gripping his arm tightly.

"Wait." your mouth said before your brain could process what you wanted to say. He stared at you expectantly, waiting for your next move. "Please, Aleksander. Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Please don't make me choose I... I love you. I've loved you since you taught me about the constellation, since the first night you helped me with my Ketterdam's nightmares, since the first time I saw you, using the cut to save me and Alina I... I don't know how, but... I... I can't lose you. Please, Aleksander." you fell apart. Entirely. You released all your suppressed emotions, crying into his kefta, little knowing that he was fighting back his own tears.

"And what do you want me to do, milaya? I've spent ages getting to this point."

"And will you be truly happy? Is it all really worth it, Aleksander? Will you be jubilant when you enlarge the fold?" he sighed, resting his forehead against yours. You closed your eyes, listening to your rapid breathing.

"You can't just come to me, make a puppy-kicked face, say for the first time you love me, and expect me to change my hundred-year-old plans." you nudged his nose with yours, making him open his eyes to face your tearful ones, red from crying.

"Aleksander... please." you saw it. The battle that was going on inside him and the same willingness to give in to his desires and your desires to be together. And you prayed to all the saints to change his mind.

"If I do it, I'm never going to hear the end of it from my mother. You know that?"

"If it's any consolation, I promise I'll be there for you when she mocks us."

"You better do it, my little saint." he murmured, kissing your forehead as he resumed his march towards the exit of the fold.

You couldn't believe your luck. Aleksander chose you. Over his plans. You became the first and most important thing in his life.

If it was just a dream, you never wanted to wake up from it.

Despite the gravity of the situation—getting out of the fold in Aleksander's arms—you couldn't help but snort quietly into his kefta when you saw the shocked and terrified faces of your friends. The Darkling carried the moon summoner out of the fold. The most unlikely thing to see on a Monday morning.

Aleksander approached them slowly. He took his cloak off your legs and spread it on the ground, laying you on the black material. He stood next to you, making sure you were comfortable beforehand, and cleared his throat awkwardly.

You had to see the positives in this situation. At least no one had gone after him with a gun yet.

"Miss Zenik, could you look at her leg, please?" his question snapped the woman out of her stupor. She walked uncertainly over to the two of you and began to heal your wound, giving you an incredulous look.

Aleksander stood next to you, not caring more than usual about the surprised and terrified looks the others were throwing at him. Of course, Baghra spoke first.

"You're more stupid than I thought."

"Which one?" you asked for Aleksander, whom she looked at confusedly. You don't think either of them expected him to just stand by your side like that.

"You for falling so easily for him and him for letting himself be wrapped around your finger."

"Well, it's a very beautiful and powerful finger, mother." the crows' jaws dropped in surprise at this new revelation, and you rolled your eyes at the obvious malice from the now very amused Aleksander.

"I'm guessing you're not going to fight us? Will you help us or are you going to betray us, and is this another of your plans?" Alina stood in front of the group, eyeing him warily.

"I'm here for some reason. Definitely not betraying, Alina."

"Which is?" Kaz stood beside Alina, shooting the shadow summoner a hostile, distrustful look.

"My moonlight, Mr. Brekker." Aleksander reciprocated, giving him one of his darker looks. Yes, you forgot that these two can fight each other. Something will have to be done about this in the future...

"Okay, I'm done! We can move on to our plan before some jealous Western or something like this starts here." luckily, you had Nina to help you stop "the cockfight" for now.

Aleksander and Kaz rushed over to help you up. You grabbed each of them by the hand, and thanks to these two, you got to your feet. The men gave themselves furtive, hostile glances.

"Then let's go. It looks like the three of us are going to change the world together after all, Aleksander." Alina tried to defuse the tension and led you all towards the fold.

Aleksander didn't shy away from kissing you in front of Kaz before grabbing your hand and catching up with Alina, questioning her about the details of your plan.

Yes, you will definitely have to deal with these two later. But for now, the three of you were going to change the world...

"I love you too, my precious moonlight. More than you could ever know." he whispered in your ear moments before you destroyed the fold.

You didn't know what the future held for you, but you were sure of one thing.

Aleksander was supposed to keep you close to him through it all. And he will always be back for you.

463 notes · View notes

hawtlineblingz · 6 months

Text

EREN's MOODBOARD pt. 2

MORE EREN BRAINROT = my take on eren's moodboard + modern headcanons paaaart 2!

(Would do pt.3 bc why not)

Thank you for 100 interactions on my first Eren's HC post OMG ♡♡♡♡ it means alot for my eren loving ass, So enjoy some more of my random eren thoughts below,

Link to pt.1 :

Hard to approach and to talk to at first (kinda canon)

Once you knew him, HES LOUD asf (also kinda canon lmao)

GODLY at platonic flirt, -3000 pts at romantic flirt (STILL also kinda canon)

Chants random internet reference / tiktok meme like "CAN I PET THAT DAWGGGGG????"

Is offended when u told him u don't know the reference

"What is that? WDYM WHAT IS THAT? It's not on your fyp??? U didnt see my repost?", "im not chronically online like u eren 🙄"

Randomly shows up at ur house, he just don't care, it'll be like 4° outside and he's still knocking on ur door, "eren it's litterally snowing outside, why are u here?", "why can't i visit u?"

The type that can talk out ur parents, can actually get along with the most random people, like janitors, or even ur uni librarian, but can barely make a convo with ur friend

Is into small spontaneous dates, doing small fun things, just the two of u <3 arcades, park dates, silly drawing dates, he's into it. Eren is a simple guy.

Smug. "Look i color that better than u, Im just better"

But got shy when u actually praised him. "NO NVM URS BETTER", "no like, actually don't say that, i'm not better..."

Happily feeds and eat with u, we love a foodie Eren

The type to sends pic of his sweatpants and texts "im bored", "let's get food", "wait im too lazy rn, give me 6 minutes", "ok im ready"

The type to smack ur helmet / visor just to make sure ur good to go. "OW, why u smacked me??", "welp, seems like we're good to go"

Lets you put stickers on his stuff, like his helmet, phone, laptop, etc.

Drags u to watch f1 races with him, yes u heard me, he's an F1 enthusiast bc obv he love his motorsports

Actually a sucker for domestic lazy cozy dates, like cuddling during grandprix livestreams

Sighs alot during race, "why is alonso going that way?", "do u think i'll do good if i were in F1?", "which scuderia i belong to if i were in F1?"

Song i listen to while doing pt.2 :

Honestly this is such a messy headcanons, OR maybe i just miss him a little bit too much?

#SoundCloud #attack on titan #eren jaeger #eren smut #eren x reader #eren hc #eren yeager #eren hcs #aot #aot x reader #eren headcanons

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ravixen · 10 months

Note

hi!! hehe i read ur partner privileges post and i was wondering if u could do the same for vocal unit if possible?? thank you! 🫶

svt + prioritizing their s/o (pt 2)

➔ reaction || requested || vocal unit

➔ warnings: none || 0.9k words ➔ notes: fluff ; hiya, thanks for the love :) the concept for this series isn't partner privilege since I'm saving that for a different idea, but I definitely know which reaction you're talking about. I hope you reblog the other post and this post if you enjoyed reading them! also a reminder to followers: I block any empty blogs/blogs with less than 3 posts or reblogs :)

JEONGHAN: his calculation skills are unmatched, but you think highly of him in general so you're not sure if the praise means much. you can always tell when he's thinking because his face freezes into an open smile, maybe an stilted laugh, as his eyes flicker around the space, and you practically hear his synapses firing as he weighs out options and draws conclusions. you're almost envious of this ability; it always takes you a little longer to see what he sees. while he's zipping through the forest path, you're getting stuck on bushes and low branches, and this frustration is what makes you reluctant to join in on games sometimes. of course, he notices this, too. when you get too quiet, he sidles up to you, murmuring barely audible suggestions. "tell seungkwan about cheol's betrayal tactic. bring up minghao's shopping trip from the other day—it'll be funny. shout over mingyu whenever he starts talking," he'll say without blinking an eye. the first time, you were hesitant and missed the timing, but he continued standing next to you, waiting for the next opportunity. it's helped your confidence a lot, and no one has caught on yet (or so you think). every time, he's reacting along with everyone else, letting you take the spotlight, because he'd rather help you out than claim credit.

JOSHUA: found in part one!

JIHOON: you know he's a busy guy, so you always tell him that he doesn't have to pick up your calls, but he does anyway, no matter what he's doing. if he's truly busy, then he'll tell you immediately and say that he'll call you back later, but if it's nothing too pressing, then he doesn't mind listening to you talk for however long you want. sometimes you catch him in the studio or watching anime, and he lays on the couch, phone on his chest, to hear about your day. sometimes you catch him out on errands, and he puts you on speakerphone as he drives. sometimes you catch him out with friends, who always have to make their presence known in the few precious seconds they have before your boyfriend steps away to a quiet corner. you ask him about it once, and at first, he makes a bad joke to deflect, but after a moment, he admits that it's to show you his sincerity. he loves knowing that he's the first person you call for good news, bad news, boring news—and he never wants that to change. "I'm worried that..." he fiddles with his t-shirt hem as you wait. "well, I'm worried that if I don't pick up enough, I'll stop being your number one contact, and I really like being the first person you think of."

SEOKMIN: he likes to include you on every decision, and it's really sweet...when you don't have decision fatigue, at least. but how can you get irritated with him when he blinks up at you with those big bright eyes that hold nothing but adoration for you? over time, you learn to differentiate when he actually has an opinion and when he doesn't care what you choose. for example, I think the strawberry cake sounds good. Is that okay? means that he wants it, though if you wholeheartedly disagree, he'll find a compromise—like buying two cakes. on the other hand, I think the strawberry cake sounds good. What do you think? means that you can choose whatever you want. at the core of it, he just wants you to know that you matter to him, and the easiest way to do that is to listen to you. it's not really a pet peeve, but he doesn't like when people unilaterally decide on things, so he makes sure to never do that to you. "I'm sure I'll like whatever you choose," you tell him, but he shakes his head. "what if you don't? I should ask just in case." he covers it with an over-dramatic pout and cutesy voice that make you laugh, but he's serious. your opinion and happiness will always matter to him.

SEUNGKWAN: you don't know how he manages to remember so many of your favorite things, but he does and he uses this mental catalogue to impress you all the time. it's not just your favorite things, either; he somehow recalls the things you've mentioned in passing, things that even you have forgotten, and it's really impressive when he takes you out for food you've been craving, when he drops off an item that you've ran out of, when he says he looked up tips on how to clean ketchup stains. "how do you do that?" you stare in amazement as he pulls up a reservation to a restaurant you've been dying to try. "how do you make room in that brilliant brain of yours for all of these details?" he rolls his eyes, but there's a smile tugging on his lips at the praise. "I just erase some of our early choreography to free up mental disk space," he says, laughing. "c'mon, is it really that unbelievable? you know I like remembering things about the people I care about. you're obviously included in that group. I like making you feel special to me because you are." he pretends to dig his knuckles into your cheek, scolding you for thinking otherwise. honestly, you can't quite figure out seungkwan's love language because he's the type to show his affection with every action.

#caratwritersclub #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fluff #svt fluff #jeonghan scenarios #jihoon scenarios #woozi scenarios #seokmin scenarios #dk scenarios #seungkwan scenarios #g: svt #m: jeonghan #m: jihoon #m: seokmin #m: seungkwan #t: reaction #s: request #anonymous #ravixen

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tan1shere · 1 month

Text

Changes pt 3

Ellie Williams x female reader !

A/n: finally what you've all been waiting for, I hope you all enjoy this was such a fun story to write. I feel like I wrote this well, especially the anxiety as I suffer hugely from it, a few techniques in there of how I deal with it if you also struggle <3

Summary: Ellies the bad girl in the school but she takes a liking to the reader, everyone's worried but the reader somehow changes her for the better ... or does she ?

Warnings: MDNI. Smut at end !! Implied rape from a past relationship, anxiety, pet names, SOFT DOM ELS ! mentions of drinking and I think that's it :)

Text: orange-ellie pink-reader blue-angela

The red text is flashbacks which is near the end !!

Masterlist || pt 1 ! , pt 2 !

"It's all an act. Dont fall for any of it."

...

"She's gunna hurt you Y/n."

...

"I'm not a completely great person, maybe I'm working on it I dunno. But I don't date. I can't it's just not in me."

...

"Don't start anything with her, you're too pure for her antics."

...

"She's not changing Y/n, she will hurt you."

...

"We warned you."

It was spiraling in your brain, everyone's words including hers. You felt foolish for thinking you could change her in any way. An absolute fool. Why couldn't you of listened to everyone. All you had was hope. But that died that night, that hope was officially gone for good. You had been curled up in bed all of your Saturday. You hated to admit it but you were crying. Laying in your bed with cold tears staining your face. You had come home from that party in the exact same state.

"Oh, babe.." you heard Angela's voice softly say, bringing you into her embrace. You sunk into the feeling letting out tears. "What's up?" She asks pulling back a little. "Y-you were right. I'm such a fucking idiot." You sob. She was confused. "Woah what, slow down." Her hand rubs on your arms, bringing you with her to sit on the couch. "Me and Ellie. Well we were dating in secret, I'm so sorry for that. But we aren't anymore." She changes her expression to a more serious one. "That fucking wh-" But you didn't even want her to finish that. You knew Ellie had hurt you but it was fairly new, you still had some love for her. As troublesome that may be it was nothing but the truth. You had to get over that tho. You had to.

You were laying on your side, still mulling over those same sentences over and over again. It was like a tiny devil in your brain telling you 'you fucked up' but you soon hear your door creaking open. "I made you some sammies." Angie came in with a sweet smile. Your back was currently facing her and you didn't make any effort in changing that as you let out a dry hm. She lets out a sigh. "I won't watch you starve because of some silly girl who's hurt you. Please." You turn over looking at her. "I'll eat, just not as hungry right now." She walks over setting the plate down on your bedside table, moving to sit on your bed. "You're strong ok? I know you will get past this." You give her a tiny nod. "I might just take a nap." She nods in agreement going to leave. "Good idea."

A few minutes go by when you hear the door. You couldn't make out the voice so you continue to rest on your side. Holding the drawing she did of you in hand, staring at it. All of this, everything just wasted. You couldn't bare to look at it any longer, chucking it in a random direction, deciding to get some rest.

Ellies pov.

The night before:

"Oh this one's going to be a good one I can feel it." I say, examining the crowds of people. It was booming, that's for sure. I look at her, she looked so effortlessly pretty. It stunned me. "You're so silly." She speaks. "Come on let's get a drink." I then say, grabbing her wrist and dragging her gently with me. Her smile was brightening every bad thing in this world. "I'll be the sober help." I smile at her. "Not even one love?" She just shakes her head. "Alright, just make sure you're comfortable yeah?"

It had been maybe an hour into the party and I didn't feel completely with it. Y/n was sitting comfortably in my lap, just looking so beautiful. "Mmm I want another." I slur. And there it was, her gorgeous giggle. "You're so gone Els-" "your laughs so pretty, makes my heart warm." I blurt out suddenly. "Well that's very kind of you." She replies. But as I keep looking at her I could tell something was off, or was I daydreaming? Was the alcohol just messing with my brain. I decide to ignore it, not in my right mind. "Can you pretty please get me another drink my beautiful girlfriend." I watch as she smiles at me, probably replying but the music drowns out not only my thoughts but any formable words. Feeling her get off and leave, I could feel my brain going fuzzy too. But deep down something just didn't feel 100%. I eventually turn my head to look at her, noticing Kenny speaking to her.

That boils my blood. Why can't he just mind his own business? Stop it Ellie, you haven't been angry like this in forever, don't break that streak now. She comes back over handing me my drink, I give her a mumbled thank you. "Was he hassling you?" "Who, Kenny? Nothing I can't handle my love." As I look at her I notice her posture shift, i knew it wasn't her getting comfortable on my lap. Because if anything she looked uncomfortable.

"You alright mama?" I decide to just ask. "I'm just going to go for a pee." She states, beginning to get off. "Oh.. alright love." I'd be lying If I said I wasn't worried, but the other half of me felt dizzy, making me forget slightly what was going on. I shake my head going to get up and get another drink. When I eventually hear shuffling next to me. I turn my attention to see a dirty blonde girl. "Hey." She gently says. It takes me a moment as confusion washes over me. "Hi?" Silence. "You don't remember me?" More silence. Because no, I didn't know who the hell she was, until I take a better look. "Sophy." She smiles. "Ah so you do remember." I somehow felt awkward. "Uhmm yeah." Still really confused on why she's even talking to me. "I missed you." Stunned. "I- huh?" Now I was really baffled. "But- i kinda just left ya." It was bad, but it was the truth, why would she miss me. "Yeah well. You were still hot." I furrow my brows at a loss of words. "I- wha-" When I suddenly feel her lips on mine, I felt all too sober right then as my eyes widen. But before I could push her away- "Ehem." I hear someone clear their throat, I don't even need to turn around to know who it was.

"Fuck.." I mutter, slowly turning to face her. "Wait baby no i-" I began but suddenly my freshly poured drink was being dumped on me. I sigh. "No." She points at me. "Ellie what the actual fuck." I stare at her, saying nothing. Not even knowing what to say. Fuck, it's like it's happening all over again, speak you idiot. My eyes widen as she starts to cry.. ive never seen her cry before, safe to say I never ever wanted to witness it again. "Y/n no no please-" "After everything we've been through, after what you told me. They were wrong. You cant change for anyone. I should've listened to them." I immediately shake my head. It was all wrong. "Don't say that please- it was an accident fuck- she just-" But she cuts me off, shoving the cup into my chest. "Shut up Ellie." And I listen. I couldn't fuck things up any more then i have. Right...

It was silent, after a second or two she soon goes to leave. "Wait-" I start, but it was no use. She was gone in the swarm of people. "Fuck." I curse under my breath. I couldn't let this happen, not her. Not someone who I know I've fallen in love with. God Ellie you should've just told her. I wanted to make this right, after all she was my everything. I stride through the crowds when I spot her. I notice she isn't alone. God, does Kenny ever just fuck off. There's that anger again, but nothing was stopping me this time. I March on over there, pushing him to the ground ignoring all the fallen gasps. "Ellie what the fu-" "He touched you!" I retort. "You bitch." He starts to speak, getting off the floor and making an attempt to hit me, but he misses. "Fight round two then, you fucker." And it begun, the tiny fight between us. But I notice her going to leave. "Wait no- please let me explain!" I yell, grabbing onto her wrist. She immediately pulls back, with anger herself. "No Ellie. Don't ever touch or even speak to me again." "They weren't right, you have changed me i swear to you!" I plead, but she just shakes her head. "Once a dick. Always a dick. You. Have. Not. Changed."

And that was that. I watch as she leaves. I felt so empty like I had just lost my best friend. What the fuck was I going to do.

Missed calls. I called her so many times, I was freaking out. Think Ellie. God. This was suppose to be the one thing I didn't fuck up. I pace in my room, debating on what is the best approach. Nothing. "Come on brain. You can be creative, don't lack in that now!" There was one option. Going to her dorm and trying to talk to her, Angela. There needed to be a backup plan tho, I had no faith in the first one. I flop on my bed with a long sigh. "You made her cry.." it hurt to even look back on, her hurt features. Her anger, but most importantly those glossy eyes. I close mine trying to get the image out, laying on my back still thinking. "Fuck it." I get up and head over to her dorm. Knocking on the door hesitantly, when Angela is suddenly in sight. "Can I spe-" "No." She immediately cuts me off. "But-" "No Ellie you broke her fucking heart. Again. Why do you always do this to people." I stare at her. "This time was an accident I swear-!" She raises a brow. "You accidentally kissed someone? Yeah alright." There was no winning this. "Please just let me talk to her and explain." She looks at me, but not before shutting the door in my face. Great. What now?

It had been a few days later, and there was no sight of her in classes. Which was worrying, knowing how involved she was with the work. It was saddening to say the least. I decided to have a small wind down in the library, wanting to clear my thoughts in the safe space. When I spot her just sitting in a corner, reading. Was I dreaming? I haven't seen her in days. My feet felt like they were glued to the floor, staring. Do I go over? Talk to her? What do I say?

All these thoughts raced through my mind when I just stood up properly, beginning to head over there. I stand for a few moments in hopes she'd see a person's shoes and look up. As her head rises I notice her eyes. Tired. Worn out. Red and puffy. My heart breaks all over again, especially when her soft expression turns into a bitter glance. "I uh-" I sigh scratching my neck. "Can we talk?" There was silence. Not our enjoyable silence that we'd always share. A cold silence. "Nothing to talk about." I swallow hearing her voice for what felt like forever. And it hurt, the pain deep inside her. "Please." Pleading. I just needed to try say something. I bend down getting infront of her view, needing her to look at me. When she does I just pray she hears me out. "Go on." I soften my look, hearing how uneasy her voice was. I know I didn't mean for all of this to happen, but how could I. How could I of let her kiss me at all- my thoughts were cut off when I hear a faint cough. "She kissed me." Great going. "No really? I'm well aware." God damn Ellie. "I just- I mean, I didn't kiss back." "I saw you Ellie, that's such bullshit." I close my eyes. "Ok, well I didn't enjoy it." She scoffs. "So you admit you did kiss her back?" Now I was silenced. Shit. "Uhhh- well- fuck sake."

She shakes her head. "Just leave me alone." She says dryly, getting up from her spot about to leave. I go to grab her, but don't. Wanting to not repeat history. "Please just let me explain more." She bites her lip, and I know she's suppressing tears. "You've said enough." And so I let it be. Letting her walk off and out of the quiet building.

A few weeks. That's how long ago the library incident first happened. I hadn't seen her around since. Had she left.. like Noelle. "No, don't be silly she loves it here she would never. Not because of me, right?" I huff, that had become a habit, talking to myself. I was still on the mission to get her back or atleast explain things. But my brain was bone dry. It was currently the last class of the day, I rested my chin on the desk, still trying to think. "You know Ellie." Dina began. "Why don't you do something nice for her, give her a note saying to meet somewhere, maybe make her some food or-" I shake my head. "This isn't just some ordinary girl." Dina was honestly shocked. I turn my attention to her. "Shes more than that, I have to do something bigger." She pats my shoulder. "Maybe she has changed you Williams, cuz you've never spoken such things about anyone." It's true, she definitely did. "If this was you and Jesse had done this and you still loved him and such, what would you want him to do?" She ponders that question. "Well I suppose I'd want the truth from both. Him and this random girl." My face lights up. Genius! I smile wide going to hug her. "That's brilliant Dina! But- wait. How would I even do that." I ask. "I think you should figure this out on your own, if she really has changed you I think you should know what to do."

"I'm sorry for screwing you over." My words come out rushed, looking at Sophy with so much hope. She just looks at me. "Really?" I nod. "That's very big of you." She states. "Yeah well, just trying to mend past situations." There was a long pause, before either of us spoke. "Hey, I'm sorry for kissing you that night. I'm in no way that kind of person. Maybe when I'm drunk but I didn't even know you were seeing anyone, didn't even know the Ellie Williams ever could to be fair." The confession heals something inside me, letting that hope be reassured. "So you forgive me for being a complete jerk ages ago?" She smiles and nods. "Yeah we're cool." A sigh of relief escapes my lips. "So what's happening with her? Are you two speaking." I shook my head. "Shes mad and upset and to be honest I don't blame her. I did technically kiss you back-" "you didn't actually." I furrow my brows. "Huh-?" So incredibly confused. "But she said she saw it-" Sophy shakes her head. "Well I didn't feel anything. You must've been talking or something beforehand to make it look like you did, but you didn't. I remember most when I'm drunk and you never kissed back. Plus she caught it before it could progress."

Happy was an understatement. "That's incredible, oh my God I could just k-" we give eachother a look. "Yeah no, bad line to use." I let out a slight awkward laugh, making her shake her head with a smile.

She agreed to help me smooth things over and I was forever thankful. "How do we go about this?" She asks. I think for a moment. "Maybe you could knock on her door and ask to speak with her, and maybe clear the air. Might be best if I'm not there so you can talk properly?" "Sounds good, I don't see a problem with that." I let out a breath of relief. "Ok awesome, thank you."

And after an hour or so she was back. "So how'd it go?" I sit up. "What's something she loves?" I was incredibly confused. "Reading, painting, music. Why?" She leans on the wall. "Shes a kind person, I think she forgave the fact I had apologized, but I reckon you should now do something so she can forgive you completely." I let that sink in and I knew just the thing.

Readers pov

It had been a long day, stressful classes, tons of work. Thank fuck it was a Friday and you could wind down again. You were currently snuggled up on the couch, watching some random cheesy romcom on the TV. Considering it was a Friday that meant Angela was at her boyfriends, so dorm all to yourself. You're brought back out from your thoughts to a knock at your door. Odd. Who on earth. As you open it you spot a girl, not really even processing when you suddenly remember. "Hi, can we talk quickly?" You were shocked nonetheless. What was she even doing here. You let her in anyway, your intrigue getting the better of you. You both make your way over to the couch in silence. "I would like to apologize for kissing something that didn't belong to me." She begins. You on the other hand stay silent and let her finish. "I was drunk- and that's never an excuse, but I do, do crazy shit when I am, I'm not that kind of person sober." There was a silence for a moment. "Doesn't excuse how she acted tho. I appreciate your apology." She nods. "Well if it's any constellation, she never kissed me back." That just confuses me. "Wait she didn't?" She shook her head. "I can assure you. It was just my goofy ass's doing." It only makes you feel a little silly for not knowing the whole story. "I feel embarrassed-" "don't, if anything i probably would've done the same, besides she didn't have the best track record did she? It's no surprise you'd assume." You're now the one to shake your head. "I shouldn't of, I should've let her atleast try and explain."

"Thank you for coming to clear it up with me." You say, escorting her out the door. "Of course, only right thing to do." You nod, giving her a smile. "Although I would've liked her to of come to do so- I know she's tried but I dunno- you think shes given up on trying to fix this?" She lets out a tiny laugh. "Far from that, give it some time yeah? If you know Ellie she never half asses things she loves." You just hope that's true.

It had been a few days later. Two to be exact. And you were currently on your way back to your dorm room. You were about to get your keys when you realize it's already open. "Angie?" You begin, but once you open the door you're greeted by those green eyes. That pale, freckled skin. "Ellie-" You breathe out, setting your things down. Wondering what on earth she's doing here. You notice a few things, like her guitar, then you suddenly smell food. "What is all this." "My apology." You let her continue knowing you had been a bit hard on her. "I made your favorite meal, and I know you were busy today as it was a Friday, so let me take care of you. I'm going to play your favorite song as you relax." Your gaze softens. No one had ever done this for you. Ever. So it melts your heart completely. "Here, come sit." She gestures. You go over to the couch, sitting down as she prepares her guitar, situating it properly in her lap. She begins to play the song Fade Into You by Mazzy Star, your entire face lights up. It hadn't been this bright in awhile, and Ellie seeing that makes her truly happy. Once the song finishes she looks at you. That comfortable silence being back and better than anything. "I- that took me maybe a week to learn, and honestly it wasn't easy but its the easiest song I've ever had to lea-"

But she was cut off by you kissing her. She missed it so much, how soft and safe your lips felt against hers. She was happy again. You pull back to get a look at her. "No one's ever done anything like that for me." She smiles wide. "I've never done anything like that for anyone." She states. "Well I'm glad I was the one." Another comforting silence. "You are the one." Your heart skips a beat at her words, just hearing them makes you giddy inside. "You really think so?" She shakes her head, making you furrow your brows in confusion. "I know so." And that sudden worry was gone again. All you wanted was to kiss her, she got the feeling. Setting the guitar down and bringing you closer. Kissing you so sweetly. You both part. "Well let's eat I bet you're hungry." You nod. "Starved." Your hand reaches out grabbing the plate of pasta. "Smells amazing, I didn't know you cooked." She laughs. "Again with the assuming my love." You put your hands up in your defense. "Didn't say you didn't look like the type to! ... although." A cheeky grins spreads across your face. She lets out a chuckle going to lightly hit your arm. "You're a menace." You begin to eat the meal, and it wasn't too bad. Had all the good flavorings, the perfect amount of cheese which she knew. "No one knows me as well as this, it's quite special to me." She puts her plate down to speak. "No one?" You shook your head. "Not even my parents."

She looked shocked. "Well, glad I could be the one who listens properly. Even though it truly isn't a hard thing to do." You nod at her statement. "You are a good listener. You know how I can tell?" "How?" She leans back intrigued, you take a moment. "Whenever I talk about something and I forget what we were talking about, you always will remind me of the exact thing in best detail that I was speaking of. And always it rejogs my brain. That is how I know you're truly listening." She smiles at you. "You're so cute." The compliment makes you blush, hard. "I missed you." You blurt. "I missed you too angel, so much you have no idea."

That night had been the most relaxing night of your life. It ended with her sleeping in your bed cuddling you until you fell asleep, the safeness you felt was undeniable. It was a regular Tuesday, not too busy but also not so quiet. It all went down hill with the last assignment you got, since you had been a bit out of it recently. You must admit you were slacking. It's not like you at all but you were determined to redeem yourself. That is until the project was due in 2 days. A project this big, no way in hell you were getting it done by then. Not unless you stayed up all night and day. It didn't help that you had classes ontop of that. Stress started to arrive as you go over the assignment. You were currently at the library, skimming it over and over. You begin to bite your lip, chewing and searching for any loose skin as that seemed to help you in some way. It's like a calming technique you picked up through the years, although the consequences aren't so calming. You would forever get ulcers that prevented you from eating because of the infuriating pain. You needed to stop doing it truth be told. You were pulled from the slight manic reading when Ellie is heard. "Hey baby, whatcha doin." She sits down across from you. "Just this assignment." You give her a smile. "How was your day?" You ask her.

"Pretty boring, but hey. Not anymore." She smiles at you now too. "Wanna do something later, you can come over and we can just chill." God that sounded nice but you knew you had to decline. "You can do this and maybe I draw or practice guitar, whatever suits you." God she was so sweet and thoughtful. "That's such a beautiful offer, Els but I think I'm just going to go back to my room to try finish this." And Ellie being Ellie she was agreeing. "Ofcourse yeah! Let me know if you need some company at all." She goes to get up, but before leaving giving you a kiss. "Bye baby." You kiss her back. Once she's left you look back at the work. "Right, let's go." You say packing it up and heading to your dorm.

"Hey." Angie says coming in. "I made some food it's out there if you want it." You nod, focusing on all the papers on your bed. "Whats all this?" You look at her. "Just some work I needa catch up on." She looks at it, then you. "Ok, well please eat." "Uhuh." You didn't take your eyes off of the sheets of paper, scribbling a few words on it. She let out a sigh which you hadn't even heard her do. She leaves soon after, closing the door.

8:01

-Hey sweetheart, just checking in. Making sure everything's ok. :)

You had been so engrossed that you hadn't even felt your phone go off, let alone hear the damn thing.

8:37

-hey sorry, yeah everything's going fine.

-want that company?

-you know, yeah. I'd love that, that sounds nice.

-be there soon. <3

You stop for a moment letting out a breath, you were looking through everything when your face drops, realizing you had completely missed a whole section. "Fuck." You curse going to grab it. There was absolutely no way you were finishing this on time now, you hadn't even seen it how are you going to put this in all of a sudden. "God damn it." "Everything alright?" You jump at the sound of Ellies voice. She holds a hand out. "Woah- didn't mean to startle you it's just me." You shake your head. "Sorry- just a bit jumpy I didn't expect you yet." You reply. She looks at your bed. "This is alot of work." You sigh, trying your hardest to stay positive. You turn your focus on her. "You brought your sketch book." She smiles going to sit in your desk chair. "Sure did, needed to do some doodling." You nod at her, going to continue to figure out what to do with this crap. "What's all this even for?" She asks. "English. Kinda stupid but oh well." Her brows furrow. "You love English tho." "Mmm, I do. But not when it's like this.." you sigh again. "You alright tho?" You nod at her question, flashing a smile. "Yeah, I'm good." She smiles at your own, going to start to draw.

The next night was harder, the whole day was. Trying to find spare time to get more done. It was nearly impossible. Your stress was increasing, making your anxiety appear. You were tearing your hair out in your bedroom. "Hey, have you eaten today?" You hear Angela's faint voice. "Mhmm." You lie. She huffs. "Im worried about you." Your eyes never leave your page. "Well I'm all good in the hood." You slightly joke around by saying that silly saying. "I'm serious Y/n. You hardly have a break from that." That went straight over your head not even hearing what she's saying. She sighs going to close the door again.

-can you please come over.

-why what's up?

-she's freaking me the fuck out, she's not eating I don't even think shes fucking slept, I notice shes been acting incredibly off and it's very worrying.

-slow down, why do you think all this?

-the food from last night was still sitting out this morning. She said she'd eat it and she hasn't. Her eyes are so bloodshot I could see from the millisecond she looked at me. Her bags were prominent too.

-oh Jesus.

-please come over here, I think she really needs you right now.

-I'll be over right away.

Your breath was shakey as you talk to yourself about what you had to do. Your room was a complete and utter mess. Paper, pens, folders. Everywhere. You were so engrossed by it you hadn't even heard your door open. "Y/n?" You heard, you turn your attention to the voice. "Hm?" She saw. Ellie saw what Angela was talking about. "Angie said you haven't eaten." You wave her off. "Can't." She was confused. "And why not?" You pull your lip down to the unsurprising ulcer that had formed. You let your lip rest back, getting back to your studying. "Well I'm going to go reheat the food I'll be right back." You give her another hum, not focusing on a word that came out her mouth. When all of a sudden, the stress was just gone. Your face sits still. Uh oh. That stress had now been replaced with anxiety. Shit. You couldn't let her see you like that. You had to stay calm. But once a panic attack occurred. There was no stopping it. Your breathing became more heavier, taking in breaths to hopefully get that heavy feeling that was on your chest away. No use. It only made things worse, making you freak out again. You felt like you couldn't breath, grabbing onto your sheets feeling tears start to come. Your entire body shaking from the arising panic attack, but also from the lack of sleep. It was going to catch up eventually. It just had to be now. "It might be a bit too hot so just-" Ellie begun. But immediately put the bowl down on your nightstand.

Her movements were speedy coming to crouch down infront of you. She watched you cry your heart out, breathing as if there wasn't air. "Hey hey hey hey, look at me baby." You shake your head, never wanting her to see this. "Please." Her gentle touch makes you reluctantly do so, still letting out streams of tears, shaking uncontrollably. "Shhh." She softly let's out, rubbing your knee. "I-i can't. I can't breathe-" She stands up gently grabbing your hand and putting it to her chest. "Yes you can, youre ok I swear to you. See?" You look at her then your hand, still freaking out slightly, you can feel a ramble about to approach. "This stupid work- Its- suppose to b-be done by tomorrow and I'm nowhere near done. I can't fuck this up because I had been slacking because of everything- and then I messed up on this last night, I h-have absolutely no time during the day because of other classes everything's so messy and I don't know what to do." You sob more. Her heart shatters at your unsteady voice and sobs. She wants to hug you but also doesn't want to overwhelm you even more. "Slow down yeah, once you take a small breath you'll be ok, trust me?" She squeezes your hand reassuringly, letting you know she's right there. "Youre safe. You're going to be just fine. I'm right here." Her voice was so delicate, you let your mind listen to it feeling the sobs begin to slow. "That's it there you go. Can I give you a hug sweet girl?"

You nod at her kindness, wrapping your arms around her torso and resting your head on her chest. She softly kisses your head hugging you tightly. Your grip also tightens not wanting to let go. "Can we stay like this?" You mumbled into her hoodie. "As long as you need angel." Your eyes close, listening to her steady heartbeat. Feeling that tiredness take over. "Can you try eat a small bit before you get some well needed rest, please?" You nod sheepishly, pulling back but still keeping close to her. "Can you stay with me tonight.." Your voice was unsteady but you honestly didn't care you were more than comfortable with her seeing you like this, you thought you wouldn't be, infact you worried about it for nothing. Maybe that's the same for alot of silly things you stress over. "I still dunno what I'm going to do about this stupid work." Your head lowers, looking at your hands in your lap. She thinks for a bit. "Leave it to me ok?" Your eyes move to look at her. "No no, it's ok-" "Please baby. Let me help you." Her hands gently grab your cheeks, and you just give her a nod. "Good, let's get you to eat then some rest hm?"

It was probably a few months that had gone by, you and Ellie were stronger than ever. Doing so well. You were currently over at hers, her roommate being out, you two were just hanging about in her bed. Laughing, smiling, talking. It was a lovely way to spend your evening together. When she turns to you. "Hey pretty girl." She smirks slightly, glancing ar your lips. "Hello." You reply cheerful. You notice her eyes, wanting to kiss her, leaning in to do so. Her hands sneak to the small of your back as the kiss was slow but heated, with intense passion. "Have you." Kiss "Ever thought." Kiss .. kiss - it slowly moves to your jaw. "About sex." And your eyes go ghost. Your mind runs, your heart pounds. Because no you haven't and there's a divine reason why. "I know I have."

"Don't move you little bitch."

You swallow. "I uhm- I dunno exactly." You could tell Ellie was in the mood, and her kisses were so nice-

"Absolutely pathetic, and you're letting this happen."

You blink furiously. "You make me so happy." The kisses continue, and you freeze. Just like all those years ago. "Youre so pretty baby." Your heart rate picks up again. Your anxiety peeking. "E-ellie.." You wanted to try to tell her. Considering you haven't mentioned it yet. "Mmm?" Her kisses move down to you neck, everything was soft but..

"Dumb. Fucking. Cunt."

You could feel slight tears. "Is this ok?" She asks. And when you don't respond she asks again. "Baby?" Then suddenly she feels something wet hit her nose. "My love?" She looks up this time, seeing the small tears. "Hey, hey." Her voice was velvet, making more tears fall. If anything you weren't as scared to do sex all over again, you felt so incredibly safe with her, and remembering all those flashbacks just proved how new all this was. It felt foreign. "Talk to me pretty." She goes to softly stroke your hair. "Was it something I said?" You just shake your head wrapping your hands around her wrist gently. "You're perfect." A silence. "Then why are you crying sweetheart." Her voice was as tender as her touch and you knew you were in love with this woman. "Because you're perfect." She smiles brightly. "Years ago, I was with this girl. We were together for 2 years when near the end she got incredibly toxic with me. And she well in some words-" You didn't even need to finish your sentence, Ellie knew and immediately hugged you. You returned it tightly, like you always did. That silence came back and it was incredibly comforting. "I love you." You hear her voice whisper in your ear. Pulling back to look at her a little surprised. "You don't have to say it b-" But you cut her off bringing her in for a kiss again. "Yes." That confused her. "I've thought about it with you and yes." Then the smiles return, and so do the heated kisses.

After a short while she moved to be more ontop of you but stops briefly. You look at her, she looks way too good right now. "Can I eat you out angel." Her face was close to yours but the way she asked only turned you on more, the fact she's such an angel with this all is an even bigger turn on for you. "Please do." You breathe. Feeling her slowly take off your shirt, she looks at your breasts admiringly. "You're flawless." You felt heat rise to your cheeks, but not because you were anxious or anything, because your whole body felt like it was heating up, all because of how loving she was. She moves her lips to kiss one slowly turning into a gentle suck, around the skin and on your hardened bud. You breathe out, but even that sounded pretty to Ellie. Making her close her eyes at everything right now. She couldn't get enough of you. "You're so beautiful, so incredibly pretty." She blabs on. Her kisses move down your stomach. Keeping with her tender like touch. She slowly but surely pulls your pajama pants down along with your underwear. She takes a moment to take this all in. "Want to take my time yeah? Promise it's not in a teasing way. You truly don't deserve that especially not right now. Just want to savor hm?" You nod, biting your lip ever so slightly.

"You sure it's ok mama?" She rubs circles on the fat of your thigh. You give her a nod but she shakes her head. "Wanna hear you verbally say it, please?" Your smile grew. "Yes Ellie I promise its ok, please do it." Your soft voice made her smile grow. "Angel girl.." She began, gently stroking your clit. Your breath hitches at the feeling. "Need to make you feel good, gotta." Her mouth slowly comes down to you, licking softly. Delicately. That then turns into sucking and she did not disappoint. She in fact was making you feel good. Amazing even. She keeps the pace, eventually looking up at you and the way you'd react to everything. When you felt her tongue go in you, you lost it entirely. Your mouth hung open with so much pleasure everything felt so natural. It always did. "Mmm, knew you'd be as sweet tasting.. such a perfect girl." You let a moan slip. "E-ellie i-" "Mhmm, feel you clenching on my tongue. I got you baby. I got you." This woman didn't make you last long at all but in hindsight. You were not at all complaining. Because as you began to cum, you feel the most incredible orgasm approaching. You felt content, safe. Secure. "Thereee you go Angel. Atta girl." She mumbles letting you ride out your high on her tongue. "Mmm Ellie please I need you so bad." She licks her lips coming up to your face. "Yeah love?" You nod. She goes to take off her clothes, going to get back ontop of you.

But she stops again. "Why don't we try this." She goes to lay down on her back getting you to straddle her. "You be in control okay? I'm right here to help. Just want to make sure this is perfect for you. All I want." You look at her lips, leaning down to kiss them. Her hands tangle in your hair, giving you a tender scalp massage as the two of you kiss. You situate so your pussys directly on hers, not moving just yet, going to sit up a bit. You begin to move shortly after. Watching as you both open your mouths. Her soft grunt made your stomach do flips. "You're so perfect Els.." Your breath became uneven, in the best way possible. She looks down at the two of you then back at your face, your features. "God your ethereal." Another moan escapes you as you speed up. "Good girl, doing so good." The praise went straight to your core helping egg your orgasm on. "C-Can we cum together, please?" Her heart fluttered at your words. "Ofcourse my angel. Wouldn't want anything more than to do so." Your pace picked up again, letting more moans slip from your pink lips. "So well, so incredibly good. Fuck." You knew she was getting close you could just tell. And so were you. Her hands rest on your thighs, squeezing the flesh. "Ready mama?" You nod with her, cumming with moans. Grunts. Of eachothers names even. As you rode out your high making sure Ellies was met too, your body became weak. Flopping onto her torso. "I love you, Ellie." You say back from about 30 minutes ago. Her smile was like it was tattooed onto her face. "You truly have changed me, Y/n.. and for the better." You close your eyes. Feeling yourself drift of to sleep. She kisses your head, stroking your hair gently. "Wanna marry you some day even.."

:))

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