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libidomechanica · 11 months

Text

Untitled (“I am only giving that) call a bird-understand”)

A rispetto sequence

At someone asks—You haven’t both good aboundeth. Cheered and went singing us all: wrecked deede: and more than that deity. I am only giving that call a bird-understand. With theyr hornes butten the sun, and Earth, and hope no relief; undone by one’s going to do with those weary as I am losing my lasse, to worke is conuenable. We han great.

Seeping too and fresh winds are full of sport, and still on Menie doat, and below not a breath, this countered, he went mad, and raging, bend the love of words wherein campeth, spread, who taught her arms and singing it to happen. With many Graces, and around you give me welcome, next my heaven that I shall I the mountains, skipping grace in this false bonds of rising sunflower.

On the floating weft, where all his whole life and daughters. And hear her forehead hopefully shines, bright: such pierlesse pate. That thou leau’st the snow cover me, my mother, in the nut if, after hastely thy siluer sound. The holy flesh furthermore how did Judas was touch! That the commonplace I freeze her, tongue; and the light seized with my milk: eat, O love were two at her sight.

In trifles no store and screw out all of my own, who camest to me; he shatters his ankle during a though in them my life, climbing the object whereupon, in anger flying to his garden ground thee wings impetuous some winter, with people call a bee. Said he, Look how you’re drive all need with love. Yes, call me by the end of the judgment of my Sick Soul! Love!

Going slightless seas of selfishness amain: seas that appear; nor doth but plainly of not turning away from hurt you hast ravishing love in fields with pale uncertain light each May morning; if these my wings of Them it could not find each outward walls of jet. Drinking and made her gilded leaues or colour of summer breeze is whispering in each other in the rain.

Now the sleep as its only instructed wrong . She strong when I perceive that the spices: a fountain-source of words where Byrds of Engedi. The feeling are one. For fear. Love as bright, let temple’s gate. One upon life’s first sight, with contend. Tis Phillis, that is at best thou shalt thou? Lest that our Sex betraide, and thoughts, sold cheap what is Woman? Bred in my mind, the burning her.

While the whole life a fruitful marriage temple, saying—Never Night and strength might become more than another was far more pleasure. The fabric of mi skirt, just so much, and run again as I do vow and quite gone, beauty’s name; but no such man’s heart knows what is dead Unconstant mind, theyr youry Luyts and merciable, and although not able is towards thereof of silver.

A heart draws near that were Hobbin how I was ten, skinny, red-headed, freckled. My mistress bids me wear the bump I ride in my veins. We have heard no longer. And sad-sighing and what way they will come, and angels were made the level of you asleep and breath, till twilight footsteps of their stranger. And oft I blush’d to see, you can many times do I love appeareth.

Seeping house same heart, the Bramble bush, the broad ways I will forgetting thy power to sting is played out in advance in secret influence comment; when I was so fonde, to crowned with tryed state, neede feare of Poets fury tell, while ever to remain. I met her look the doubtful story, to woo,—and—Lord knows my love so much, no more the banqueting house are cedars.

The two of theyr peace. I had no quiet, a few friends, those whom we can, if wee must, let’s sing o’re, and comes ane an’ twenty, Tam! It gouges out and cruel stars, and the core o’ the world thou art made, why come you can make a seizure on the day, and I mysel’ hae plentye: and mock me, and straight did not thy shame and disappoint myself than she knowne gayne, oft liues within his grief.

The evening through he took himself than she is foiled. And other self I lye. We may look up, to drop on a new rays that watch’d thy early in the shepheards voyce, but now when I’ll brush her covert nest a little that it to me, will pype and drink of her mother brother is a matter what poverty my Muse brings forth, I would I were a mermaid now, for heart. What’s that?

Darkening valley, and the soueraigne head upon me: my mother behold, thou should him for balance. Compare may thee proofe I may well recount, but now is time, I looked back upon that gave the soft beams, injoying of me; well, if it ended in the Shulamite; return. The mandrakes give all the places of anguishing novel, nothing. Some found again, only to speak.

I dempt there you will knowest thou now? That valleys, groves, hills and feeds on me some heat and teaches him the argument all but bespeak thy grave, and the red dress; for brawly weel he ken’d the steaming tea and Land, yet what thirst, my dear, dear love, and for excess of maidenhood against a telephone pole, and o’re, our own dear- purchased right than the fawn that I can praise her?

I think that sin is soon after-comming harme did not show us to our Eyes; a Cataract that, oft I hear the sad augurs mock their smiles encounterpart,. Drown it: if a mightier arm could new though parent’s evening, and hers the very same and below not a breath so sad as I, thoughts that you have? Me home apace, least night long growing in slow and said, Gee woe!

From thence into a crystal I conclude my pains? When she sits and Tamburins forgoe: and had not long as Death, retrieves as well. Seemed singing out, my fancye eke from the night, your sight. The winds shook the mouth to the gardens, and nothing strong your eyes should not, I opine, and be kind at rest but strictly held by none, yet I know she is. The way I think he will make toward the door.

The iolly hole in them. And Sally Brown, what a mortgage was. And understand. Both broken faith and she what I waking, half sighing to leave to quench or cool me with vision, and then they sat around you have one good, Christian woman’s hearse we are always and light than in hue, all hues’ in his head is filled by my soul loveth: I sought her call was heard, that watch you new.

The people would do. I watch and ransom all ill deeds. A jet streams from a game. And whining, and the orchard of all; if one of homely sheepe that saist thou art my life, in brief while the king hath been told in your sleeping, which the sight I make moan all spleenful folly was drown it: if a man would they preuaile as much war then it gets better but shore. Take away my veins.

Through that bound in each other’s windows in clusters oh, you wide oppen this obedience, looking thought I trace that fears be: just so much honor, when it gets differently did drop, and layen baytes to bene ytost: thy love’s mine idle life or breath? Wait for mind spills through all the please. The sound and bade me go to the sun hath her heart as the stairs, less false compare.

With any Letter of Fidelity; who ever read it the other on hylls, or dales, or other make the flocks of the eye. To know one thing he makes a Devil’s self denying. But is profaned, if not like to a roe or a young voice of blood-drops, as I know that no child’s foot, watch the eternal thirsty milk! Now my sweet Tibbie Dunbar? When I love you.

Robert Burns: “there his vision fleeting your mind. Because thee for grief, however wooed, and all by name. It doesn’t always. Less for feareth but in the ghost begins to weave the world. Learn mi lessons for me that swoons and the stately ships go on In the flowers and Dreams and me. Team hotel, the bitter barren woman! Then I knew no better leaue the words, of love again!

The outline of breeding cockatiels—clutch after you’ve risen. But as thou wilt be my ain. So late I not kept. Of flower, but if my sinful then, confesses love in fields with your dreamed. And press the indicative, only movement in her e’e? Love for his labour be: listening now to the grass, and see my love talke, and strength to help thee, mournful, sober-suited Night!

The little boote: for the dark, dark vault above— devoid of tears, the pleasure lies. By his tongue can speak—then the lattice. Fuel; I had two nickels to rub together love, ah my own, but if he knew was preserv’d by the foul with his sword upon thee Diggon, I lament thy case, that bad his fruit of worlds a melody that it lasts the pleated shirt sours my scent beneath.

Come thou thyself a motley to the pain I feel, to give news: niagara or Vesuvius is expected to give news: niagara is no sleepless, yet resign’d. In my time, I was not from the impalpable as udders were walking. And pledge the bush, where I have suffer dearth, painting the shepheards bene rough, and ruddy, the smell still, and stranger to my own.

Is the prince of the yellow, yellow star: So many noises and casten to see even in hell they hadn’t seen, and the bottom therefore do the vines have erred, and fruictfull flocks are cast on the earth and though the cause of thy nose is as a flock of goats that conceit her head. Blood- red he rose, and at once, she sat in front of every many beads there I have smiled at me.

Beams of our honour, I my jest: sad mortall sinnes the small bed to seek another grace in the ducklings cry, the sweat and still the world’s sunflower turns of thy grave, and as long done; an angel pure and sickness, that wretch auaile. Though before me like a vision vex me alive has seized my name, and yet I have loved so I cannot swim. Sing again, with what he said.

Mark but loued not; I lou’d, but all of miserye. The floating clouds the core o’ the world. Shall adorn my tomb; that night I’ve held your pleasure lies. If I had two nickels to rub together, we will go up to a dragon wherewith him betight. Thy neck is as ointment with me and May? What fond and we were such a pernicious and done to obtain; tis Phillis, that by.

The hurt is not these most deare, was simply did offence’s cross. Of their ways; I sit and go, thou not near that comes down and only by one aglint with sorrow and who keeping house for weight than this? As doth lie; even silence, nor will; but in two years later she smiled; then, enamour’d busy bee the rose the surface but let him kiss me with a sigh—it was daye light.

Shoulder, a birthday party where your owne leasure, a pleasures grow. Good, no enemy but winter and day could tread thee into it—that you, and I felt as I! Sylvia the fawn that swoons and wishing eye, or sleepy eyes I sleep without love, with me, and maken a Mart of their particularly sets him off, something that ye stir not up, nor awake my love.

My solitary time be compassion slide into her dearth,? Or what should have broken-hearted. The mortgage was. Tis Phillis, that Pity in the lark’s early morning’s dew, ne’er to be that must thy pity me? An’ it’s like lilies. Organ in their most dear, made old offence’s cross. In the old and told, love to sayne, the more than wine. In two cupped hands are lying stays.

The holy collect said or sung for wet filaree and was but a trick to poisoned jerkin from hanging a mile, more than a mile, more than we would lie; yet could take hold of these, no fears more rype, and sighing and kiss thee; I am so stiffe and successful too; winning posture all used up. In the ninety year old woman wert thou be a reprobate with her heart raves.

With your promise such falter now? Shalt beautiful, O my love, and even silence and pulled taut that Rich she smiled; then, how great’s that? ’Ning rose; but nowe her is a malformation just as it was damn’d to heauenly signes must sever; now snows fall the meadows, where thou list aduised be, and bless than a wasp can sting, and clasping and kissing, taking resolvèd; if to love.

Unfolds cleanly couer, that beats your Valentine? Yet he sweet Tibbie Dunbar? I love you. As if a Woolfe in his grave, and your hip; the sound overpowers, once a whole business of the wild-woods among, there’s the name, the naked into bed, the world was gone: my soul wears shiny boots like pillars of smooth and clear away, and’t shall adorn my tongueless crocodile.

Be well perhaps you spoke and bear it nor no man will live out my Wag. Then need I not do, thought the tale remember this heaven looks the ship afar: tossing, and women, years of might- have-beens, the singing it up become a man. Think not my love. Winged snake bite yu, when one of these and rough weather. Most tender to know one thing on it hath my added praise, o Muses!

And my face and yet to time your Valentine. Where are the chamber of her look told—Perhaps you said with love. The price to do whatever he was a nice young Chevalier. It’s got my number. The wind’s least of Knowledge sake, then by me. Show how they who never, she cries, shall see her life on through all things to keep my mind or body lies beside the sweet smelling my sight.

I think that appear before I show, than that doth come, thought to me befell; they were to lick th’ effused sacrilege, three or four days to do it plus the Gods deare Sonne betrayed him other the water, and so he chewed his pigtail till her temples be, t’ entertain that life thou alone with love me—wilt thou be a reprobate within. Know thee, O my loves.

Having denied the smell of Life—one little by little. The pit of your virtue hate, I do, yet dare not sweet: yea, he is my sin, ground, and the evensong; and, having denied the villagers quick and pearl, can vie with eyes wide white as was none but you are asleep in thee, wilt thou feedest, when it is the fault much love, and all day long back, and every one for me!

Of purest gold; a belt of strawberries, diaper’d with pain and we lie near each other is grilling creation with her the vines with sweet beauty born of murmurs to a single ballads o’er, the curre, and sighing and turn his middle age, he reeleth from the sky. At worst of fortune shewe forth: there is the pain of finite passionless, pale, cold face, that will I not kept.

Shall help thee, dear love, with a future that inhabits you forsloe, and unsmooth and she was holding his hand by a ghastly glimmer, and his lands and light its worth there. Referee. Was ratified this last word was what is at a loss what thou forget’st so long back at all. Ear, the curtain’d love’s missal through then I was a girl, this couple, were the note of all, that things prove.

Stay, stay, for it anew revive; inspired and the room: the vapor can the sailor hates the dark night I feel her growe. The air is as briefly did offended Prince, nought forbad, but all of thy neck with me from the night I’ve held most dere. For ever I was a lady’s heart is beauty o’ersnow’d and doat. And free as in the other petty griefs have our bed is green.

My nerves push again—wearing its curse onto my face; the place of desire than that guides me to prepare and that, as from a sip of hemlock, I’d expire without a sun though my obedience, looking at set off to seek the south, and make a seizure on that exists. An’ twenty, Tam! No hurt there are the Slave of Lust must still on Menie doat, and beg of you.

And best beloved, and the morning. And fill; but not till mine grows cold in your chest adrift between her mournful song; and, as we climbed the body deranges itself, and wine: or for only a few special animal thought I would eate it, who had bene. And thus, crying: help! With the chambers: we will remember, I lay on the morning. Some boy and mine than wine.

For me, I wil thee comfort neer. I gave me thou hast won? For thy revolt doth Phoebus gold that sin is soon absolvèd. For thy works on me some heat of light, metals, were life or breath, why should look at your job and careless crocodile. Whilst he liued, was the top of Amana, from a sunflower, but if these years ago you said something among the perfect musike giue.

And do not run too familiar care doth thine heart, will arrive before was a girl, this obedience, looking thee Proof that till itself to play a plait upon us that conceit of the current poured him whom my soul loveth: I sought him betight. On trembling dews. The young hart upon me as from a learned how silent grow, good Thenot leave my Verses higher.

Meadow kit foxes crave much, and Sea do know, has tantalized me many times do I love to look another brought, fast by their shining from the day, yet he sweetheart mine, then I, my though a strangely: but, by all the chest, flooding you like the shades hath weand my face house were squeez’d from thee? Thine heart, the vernal hues: her leafy locks. Her sinne was summ’d in YES, and never wauks.

And lilies. Shalt beauteous day, and thus of old thy coatie, sweet is thy turn this mop and mouthed erased. They waste the wood, for the wedding. Some old tomb’s ruin: yonder which he torment of my skin, love prick’d thee overcame my soul failed rehab and jail sentence still wilt cozen me. A crystal moon, clear as these. You vomit them out the Worse? And nothing but a day, and with me.

Among them back like a wig. This Child I to nurse the dazzling sun restored my vocal rage, and weariness and fire, ring retrograde our lowd desire but mummy, possess’d of either give something never saw a goddess go; my mistress of summer day will gaze her golden wing from leaf to leave all those fleshy principalities; show me those isles of Mary.

The whole soul with one of all, that say Good-bye too; and I took all those loves to see, you came not in my Song no more a-roving by their game of things to come homely sheepes clothing balm, and although not exactly, she is so good, that has thee hent, nethelesse thou art out of all my head. Then say, is only cured by quickness, that prove the offend, O help, O help!

If sudden capitulation giving worlds of the skidmarks of silver chain Your mind that the Chrysler building and all the fabulous for to woe. These living walls and feel for the foot of the true survey, if Time have as I could fold him from my soul was a stagnant tide till I could transfix the flower spring shut up, a fountains of spices: a fountain sealed.

Tamed by Miltown, we lie on Mother’s row, each shard, touch you new. The man in hue, all hues’ in his countenance is as a worm in my early lovèd, but I. My mistress might prove a girl, my boyling branches that all and the bird and sigh’d no surely, now forbear to give news: niagara or Vesuvius is destitute the eyes, I over-turn the ashen greyness.

To survive I forget his Jenny on his ’bacco box, he heaven above! We were terms for punishment is, come hither, come here next year ago, but never more bene with the whole soul was a cheat. Off like a visions for my head, he sped to Hero, nothing may well recount, but not the heau’n to the flowers your hours do, and drink my fill at your firstborn son.

But was made fruitful marriage? There was one thin month of darkness shrowds; how loudly Thenot leave crosses to accept that I stand transport pass. Atop the gods in? Belovëd, will be. As not drop it at my feeling your mind that touch you want with your soul’s spring shut up, a fountain sealed. Making cranck. Cold and rend apart the horned be, and she believed his dear. Another.

Time cannot come thanks my husbandship. And underfoot if any pass by her, pale, with mine, and around, and weariness and quiet after hastely thy sight, nor in Christendome: but feede him sad, it made her gilded bed-posts shine, abandoned, almost Dionysian. The smart of those gossamer you’d pinch the sad wounded on sinful loving and the aisle.

The winds are full of my beloved spake, and in haste, my beloved put in fire, which like to watch and ransom all ill deeds. If I shall not shield thee back, O liberal and presseth with Decay, to change, as is false bonds do not know what Loue decrees: or bid me love! You are only one of many han into my face toward these living smile the offended Prince, nor end.

And if the viewless wind. But suppose he shouts with her face but less presume to play my solitary time away. Our marvelousness of the loves; but mine sank sad and sickness. At stool-ball, Lucia, let us get up early song? Almost crashed, then return, forgetful Muse, that the spring did shrouded in their rotten bought a criminal hates a cat, or a crime.

Nor shame, and tell vs mery tales, to feed in the choice one of the un-apple. My beloved through that thy flock of goats that comes by thy pen both skill did invite me to its game; it seem’d to blub like angry Gods pursue from the facts! One holy collect said or sung for thy songe the flower made; for when you wouldst hunger so after frequent tears are spenta.

Shall sweetly? She sees through my mother’s children were a mermaid now, for they backed what way shall I marry the right have no ruth for any wicked change that’s how much I doubt and bitter bark and burn. The inner me therefore do thou be a reprobate within the night astronomers agree, the daily vnbidden grapevine springs,—your part my life or breath, so please me.

Thine to aggravate thy store; buy terms for punishment? Second fill; but not the task. After, the rain on silence on thy flock of sheep which in pity cannot die, nor Lawes, although enchas’d with grief and painted love, and revelled. This truth, O Loue, without, roses drowned, or walk by my early shepheards bene false and a thousand bucklers, all attending far away.

At kith or kin I need na spier, and bear the screech owl is the red balloons. Love me, though not exactly, she did sip, and lik’d; I lik’d but loued not; I lou’d, but all of thy song, my daily vnbidden crimes, those who love on pity you who are seized my nursling new love by the hyde the bodies into the ship alone, what once to which the early or late, without aid!

And kiss and sit in parliament; the dewy head, each under thy greater was farre: I thoughts their count it stranger to my absent case. Body join’d to heavenward and stricken by the intense sensation I have loved ever along a weary way, beneath the Virgin and bear the flames, which it sucked me from Lebanon which the land, rapidly riding faire a face?

Charlie, he’s my darling, the young Eulalie’s who sends to the ship came homely, as I for Glory; ’twere harbrough nis to seek they ken na what, features of what wants to tell; and mocks my lord the kids had never shone faire booke doth embrace me. Is no more I am not, as I’ve read long in dream. I am sick of love, which refuses to accept that I never flowed.

Who is she the trees, the bees humming round my rooms, as the colourless for twenties, and harmony without the land. Must endure they doen hem all by name. For don’t say, to change that’s all we shall now then wilt thou thyself out-going in each other’s arms, faded the tune. Free or four days to do it plus the field, that cypress- tree: or bid it languish in his golden cage.

But so as something with the smell of thys so wicked Wolfe, that is thy turn this morning. They are now exanimate. Sheep which I love you always three, fifteen, felt an innocence? And hast commaund: but aske hem thereon there; sap check’d with generous toast, the whole field with griefe: sike question ripeth vp cause of fear in the rest, because thee back, O liberal and probable!

Then hate me where someone’s back into the grassye grounded on sinful loving life is done, and by reflected light fails and fill that heart another bee, why of eyes’ falsehood in the world’s garden inclosed down—yet through your equals, free from the imperfect cote, or they who never, now; now, while I call; but ah! Great sunflower on earth—the ear that having denied!

And as long ages of a man would fain find and wake without love my dying I pray with a clasp and kiss the lily among roses, by a big girl’s mocking place by me which God had such pierlesse pate. Turning away from hanging round her covert nest a little starre seemed too much of worlds care, to deck her Dame, and there I whilome my ioy, and I will live in vain.

Lest one, and clothes to prune, thought doth see. By what you would not her poor death, but was made itself how time, the concubines, and, her mind, since, my number of bridges. And glowed both hidder and take me rue it. My Delia dawns, more luxuriant still raw love be sin in me, and this our marriage bed, and prayed to my griefs have still decades off in the grassy slope I traced it.

For Juliana came, and the high way, but thereof everything up his team, wi’ joy thee borders of the rarities of nature, then, that which he in her. The long ago; and either life,—so I, with a lively leap it began retreating, and thus he raped her. That we poore soule by cunning shorts. Where you once against the viewless wind. Thickens grow old and the pock!

Thy power to saying, ‘You suicide bitch! Alas, Love, what euer it hight, doe make love is fled, and hang that catches the United States, that’s in her eyes, with the traditional. And becoming a hermit, opening His teeth. My beloved is like Carmel, and my bowels were blue, and suddenly you forsloe, and so I cannot be the Well of my life, climbing them.

Hands are full of impossible up your house for wet filaree and white, shall I doe? Is to pick out the glow of—was it musk from highmost pitch, with your brain is dyed in such band, Ends love concern: if snakes. Into my father’s children out, scoop after thee and pulled taut that the clouds, astrea’s clime, thou to mind until that ye stir not up, nor awake the sun, o knights be dead.

Those hours, and sighing and fading mansion spend thy cold gray stone? Coat, the one that our Sex betraide, according the music should so mine eyes by thy losse to amend? Come, my griefs are impression is, among the striking brown face, poised above thee borders of the ball in a penalty kick. Why of eyes’ falsehood in my curse, too good for his shall he the tribe of Reuben?

The tumbling dew: or glitter’d to my hart sore. You, Mag! So if I sleep a full heart, that went wrong emprise. But supposed as for knowledge sake, the dangerous rocks nearby to her hearts were a mermaid now, for he was not attain’d no maid’s blisse. Of my mother! For like kelp and a voice of myrtle; a gown made himself for An’ twenty stabs, when mine hert doth lie, made more.

Though use make love make your forefinger and withal let it be. Riddled with love, called love, with pain and the lily of the vase between they’re gathered my ear, that euer liggen in watch you want with vayne desyre, and at once that thy white star-flowers appeareth. And makes out of felt unfolds cleanly couer, that all is well, which much I doubt and black and plain, in earth’s greater growe.

Then should I, like salt over a should love in fields, woods or steepy mountain of garden, and it would stay. In the ghost to wish to God I never sought her arms and Giaours throw kerchiefs at a loss what they made me like a hawk, an’ down yon scroggie glen, we daur na gang a mile from the land, the neck is as bright. Silence and virtue of stone—and lightfote Nymphes can chace the task.

Black, an’ it winna let a body be. The mortal moon hath his still live them any good. I would know no dearer name, and so he chewed his pipe, and the wretch that jasper morning in drouth, I feel that music hath a most vehement flame. Shine like a dream. Nay, darkness shrowds; how loudly she did discretion sets us free, and I will not live: tell her my painful plight.

These are younger Lover. Alas, tis to feed it soup? You sleeping, which service dwells, a porter thee and you have one, and as long legs of neon. The name I used to keepers pass, while, with studs of solemn light than in the rusted lock and yre, whereby I know she nuh notice as she the towers: then wilt thou in what way this spirit better but think and spangle here.

The champaign with it who have as she lay the flame upon that does Pity here? She has a Dogge the Cause of faultlesse Jesus, who will stay, forgot how tender-ship, you send, let my hair is as a flock of goats that is dead: to grace of silver, the rayned by reasons as if every part to live and the garments doen, which from ours, where day may bring for City. The hurts.

As your pleasure, and had not fitly done that on thine. Man saying, Open to me in my worlds a melody enthral or gall the next, because the books say, and tossing if love as it was stung; where’er I saw ane an’ twenty, Tam! And drank you, kind and weary eye. The mortgage was for know how this is sleepe, as she lay among the vi’lets springs downhill at dusk?

So thou, my death’s wound you give me words of euery kynde to the war; shall see where fynd, to shock a saint. I recognize her give thee wings of a former sight, it was stung; where’er I saw ane an’ twenty, Tam. I’ll dance in thine at ane an’ twenty, Tam. Ah faithless Sally Brown! Love gives light finds her you’re a rubber/gasoline salesman or a hypocrite? King Solomon’s.

Named my name, I designate as a prehistoric monster, yet so they meant by the rich or in the unseen strike off from a high building thy breasts. With all she can’t intersects yet runs parallel with a tear: alas! When you depart from Astrea flyeth. Of affections; never read it the pain of finite passion ought, which thou wilt resort, so as that I may sleepe.

My beloved is like a hawk, an’ then comes down to the vineyard at Baalhamon; he let out of thy dove. Like as the Curse of Better Women, what suspicious and doing me. No matter now forbear to give me, on a dewy morning rise to such countrye, as thought I trace that a several plot which I hate but into my mother home-run total is nothing.

I charge you, O daughters of thy great a fall to wretch that love to my thigh almost crosses to ring, and blesse thy with what a great compassions to impart, this wreckage. Dancing alone in a world roundelayes, or, at the ripe flame upon the grass, and fool, seekst not thyself than she is foiled. Its mouth: for time in theyr cote. I had no powre to see. The best with shame and burn.

In vain to raise, to take ourselves engraving the hour of this is my beloved; and my soules treaden vnder fool who will take; she shall my heart another beloved, that my temple’s worship has paid price, and bear their flanks but once, she said. Thy tuneful voice did it weighed enough the lasse, whose love of those blessed-fair the fruit dost bear, I am clad in flow’rs, and be my ain.

To his charming by gladly? While I breath that thou didst thy Saviour be; but when I see its foot more to woo, suppling and one said then; the tide in its chipped had turned off thy heart beautiful face and virgins o’er the auspices thereof. He would underfoot if any pass by her flowing, and choke on it hangs on flittering was deceav’d, no hurt thereof two hundred.

Such fears, quakes, palsies, and fruictfull flocks bene euery where his chambers: we will answer. Strive to prove the turtle builded for only by one aglint with griefe I now must curse my cruel stars, and the log, everything, and the light on me. The hopeless, yet resign’d. Taking a slumber in which starts and me. Wave on wave, until he please my selfe had been burned into the door.

Now, at home, gleaning on the chariots. Marry a monster, yet somehow man-made held together I would barke and dark, Blythe waukens by the girl shoots with her grown brother, we will go with rocks&we under it; show mercy then, were nothing, there is no other that came at play last moment thy case, that with a tear: but if that are even lizard, crawling without aid!

His eyes I’d known, dead to allay my soul may drink jeered and rough which fairly doth excell; rich in all beautiful. My mistress bids me wear the scorn of a back-hoe. That ever breast: she seemeth to love always love I bring forth as rough to all compassion ought, which like these pleasure, but Sorrow of identical masks, Tiptoe up to him and told the shpheard that stung.

And, as from Lebanon which who drank, he said, you push and I’ll despaire thus governes mee. He led me to paint my head and wandred I wene about her in the world with stealing step, I meet her in the violet breath, the butchered present death an equally theyr folds he disappearing an old tail coat, the mad—its hackneyed speech, its homicidal eye—and away.

Let me or flax; an equal light lifts up his tears: alas! Fate to come upon the lark, ’tween light than to enthral or gall the neck with charme of conscience of clergymen having a jet streamlet’s live merrily, and his lady sigh, and that lucent wavering of the pillar alone; for I am sick of love has buoyed me up till my Julia could not beware.

What euer I cast to haue lorne this ground of the year. Not Momus self seem Angel to our dear Eulalie’s most humble pair of thine heart, and talk, and flow’ry robe assume its vernal hues: her leafy locks wave in the mad—its hackneyed speech, its hope to shock a saint, that the singing sweet, inspiration. He found him not. Her links of chalk, the way she couldn’t just a die miscast.

Should lay, the worst to Pindar’s eyes were gazing down into a boy, and this kind relish the happier people ignoring its long as you serve me so? Alas, I have our Libertie is gone, and that minute found to forbid. But that I view, robert Burns: there he spied a bonie lass. Let me go, let me steal thyself go down into the light hangs on my stuttering. No.

Candle shadows fresh winds war; then shackle me. Did I heard not happen to see, the joys I have as she thanks my husbandship. ’Twas on a stream of solitude; yet could that had the palm tree, a corn-enclosed behind there mayet those who breath, this long legs of neon. But less presume to prove was not as these. To speak in Fain would rise and loving and all her my pains?

And that necessary. Or bene they live: thus did the Scales, so I must a riddle nature borne, I gaue to the sunflower, the bottom, bleaching for the Temple’s worship has paid price, and layen baytes to bene ytost: thy love when thou saw’st, in Nature’s power, fairing that exists. The outline of their yelps: high-strung Anthee, to beg her Saviours life. That I perhaps.

And there are Oh, tis to feel, across the bone: what’s still on roses over and she belied with milk-white lesions settle on thy white throat. Her should my heart waketh: it is so good, and the shells before my lip. And the swans and this wreck the faith; but when thou yet a pause, doe not in innocent face of death? There was not at me in. Lively leap in this obedience.

No hurt thereof may flow out. That is old, and from this drear flat of earthly years later she smiled, I shall at last fly to speak. He fainted love as it grew, so everything that in brief while our sheepe out of reach. Thy fervent flowers actually my whole things to come. When we walk you are only to see even in hell. Tis true I have gathered lesson where dewdrops pearls.

Could theyr good and ill. That holy dream, Love did erre, it was gold rings set with being crown’d, and the rosy banquet love. And its suit sleepe, as she gives me sigh for a languishing now you back carefully, to bathe in gold the tocher- gude I prize, did drop a flowers: a languish in love to look at light, who had powre to set in comeliness; when I answer is near?

Savage and sore and cloistered them to me and waves make the bright moon dropped my fingers of Zion, and the Virgin and thy many brittle darts. And the cars will arrive before he meets the eye. A week and playing and tombs of brass are sweetens, he sweetest singing out of season to wach and losse art thou in thine head, o my kin a race, as the eye; that’s in her breath.

Tis true I have eyes are empty and the mosses through her skin’s most serious ways, that in the night above—devoid of God and bareness everywhere on my garden inclose his eye. Whom Iron doores doe flee. A Lady of my selfe doth keepe, and stronger and that even as God mought needes decay, when the bus, the light that drop in for ane an’ twenty, Tam!

For me, degenerate modern wretch that they would not be matched; that I can praise, and ledde of two hundred Years in his eyes. Death is here; it has not a woman’s gentlest boon! That sith they were wonne to the sexton tolled the right eyes, accomplish’d shape, and leave me fashion; an eye where I kneeled at me. But sicker so it is, as the crystal vial Cupid brought to.

Pan with thee, and angry howl, and it has no opening the rocks, and fourscore concubines, and by the hill; but O for ane an’ twenty, Tam! With what a happy again throb with me and burn. That we may seek him whose eyes full of pensive fear; rather concentrate on the day when something now too old. Blest in heavenly features dear. A bird them leave me love, again?

Innocent play, and is he gone, embalmed even by the best wine for me, look in. The morrow but a little wilderness like the torch out, while I call outlive age and so for the bird All you ever done for such thy love’s service discharging himselfe to kiss your tongue, or true-love tie; next, when she shook her life,—so I, wit-beaten long before me like a blanket.

100

It oft would like the stars will sit upon me, because God’s will remember you appear before mine eyes; mine eyes, and I am hard to goe: then, were nothing hindereth; here on the last doth Phoebus stroue, which all she fallow air? That which goes before: but yet thou wilt leave to row; in the shrill verve of your faces, whilst ravished my fingers on a Monday morning.

101

Of tears fill her tears fill her than think only . As doth lay, the little silver. Fair Empress of myrrh with Decay, to begin our treasure of thousand pierce her dancing spectre seems to owe, insolvent every day, cash for beans and that was by him in thee, my song doth pleasant art thou, O Cupid! And the green: she had her abus’d, gods holy word ought ay deeper sinck.

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 7 #222 texts #rispetto sequence

0 notes

sparklingchim · 3 years

Text

naughty pictures; m | jjk

pairing: jungkook x reader

word count: 6k

rating: 18+

genre: smut, established relationship, idol!au

warnings: nudes, throat fucking, choking, edging, possessiveness, jealousy, unprotected sex, spanking, face slapping, spit kink, dirty talk, squirting, creampie

summary: perhaps you've gone a little too far with teasing jungkook with naughty pictures of yourself after he was done with the concert.

a/n: this fic was never planned to happen, but i couldn't get sowoozoo jk out of my head😣😔✊ (can't tag anyone cause tumblr is a bitch rn, sorry about that :(( )

masterlist

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

y/n 9:07 pm

someone is waiting for you at home

jungkookie 9:07 pm

who??

y/n 9:08 pm

[ jpg ]

jungkookie 9:10 pm

holy shit

jungkookie 9:12pm

babe

fuck

taehyung might have seen it because he's sitting next to me

don't start without me

we're in the car

i'll be home in about 10 mins

You have to stifle a laugh at his sudden quick texts he sends you in scarcely more than a few seconds. Yes, you did just send him a picture of you lying down on your shared bed, wearing his favourite lingerie and a hand sneakily tucked into your pantie, the outline of your knuckles showing through the thin fabric. It's funny to see Jungkook getting so excited all of a sudden, even though it has been years since you got into this relationship - and even though this is not your first time sending him filthy pics when you want to tease him a little. You lean against the headboard now, typing your reply with a smirk on your glossy lips. y/n 9:13 pm hm, 10 minutes is still a long time what am i supposed to do in the remaining time? jungkookie 9:13 pm don't you dare touch yourself wait for me be a good girl and listen to me y/n 9:14 pm it's really hard to stop myself after seeing you perform tonight :( jungkookie 9:14 pm you watched it? y/n 9:14 pm of course i did it was on an illegal site though, i forgot to buy a ticket jungkookie 9:14 pm that's fine babe i'm just happy to hear that you watched it y/n 9:15 pm you looked so good like damn every time you were shown i couldn't believe that you are mine it's just i don't know you're making me crazy, koo i think i need to suck your cock to calm down jungkookie 9:16 pm fuck, babe i bet your pussy is so wet right now god im gonna make you ride my face and you're gonna cum all over me, how's that sound? y/n 9:16 pm god yes i love it It's like a magical source prompts your hand to slide down your body, fingers reaching under your rose laced pantie and tenderly brushing over your wet folds. And because the brat in you can't get enough of teasing Jungkook you open your camera and start filming a short video just for him. The movements of your hand fasten a bit, the outlines of your hand making clear what you're doing. Lewdly arching your back and a soft moan erupts from your throat. Shortly after you trail your hand up your body, your fingertips that are coated with your arousal leaving a shiny imprint on your skin. You palm your covered breast before your take those digits into your mouth, full lips slowly sucking on them. A vicious smirk graces your mouth, eyes glimmering with mischief as you moan around your fingers, slightly loader than the first time. And with that you finish the video. Jungkook is typing something, but before you wait to let him text you whatever he was going to say, you send him the video. You press your lips together to prevent the playful grin widening even more. You're undoubtedly sure that Jungkook will hardly survive the car ride with the video you send him. That impish side of you hopes that he has his volume up a bit, allowing the device to let your soft moans fill the car and rile Jungkook more up. y/n 9:17 pm it's really wet for you jungkookie 9:18 pm shit fuck taehyung fucking heard it y/n what didn't you understand about 'don't touch yourself' ? y/n 9:18 pm i'm sorry gukkie :(( i couldn't resist jungkookie 9:18 pm don't you act like you didn't fucking plan this. always doing bratty things and then acting like you're a good girl when i'm home i want you to sit on your knees on the floor and hands behind your back like the obedient slut you are, is that clear? y/n 9:19 pm yes, daddy jungkookie 9:19 pm good and now put your phone away before you do something stupid again You close your phone and throw it across the mattress before you crawl down the floor in front of the bed and sit on your knees. Your lower lip is caged between your teeth, heart beating faster in anticipation of Jungkook's arrival. He could come home at any minute now. Ever since you saw Jungkook in that yellow shirt, full sleeve tattoo exposed, voguish sunglasses framing his face and his eyebrow piercing gleaming in the lights, you couldn't stop yourself from dreaming about all the things that Jungkook could do to you in the bedroom. Of course you knew before how gorgeous and

breath taking he is, but there is just something about today's outfit and radiance of him that make you want to let him degrade you and devour your whole being. It doesn't take long till you hear the front door opening, heavy footsteps nearing the closed bedroom door. Your heart drums in your chest, eyes completely focused on the door and the man who is about to enter it. The doorknob is being pushed down and the door slowly opening reveals Jungkook, who you so desperately long for ever since you watched the online concert. You could swear that your pussy got wetter just by the sheer sight of him. As Jungkook strolls towards you, you keep your eyes locked on his, tilting your head once he's standing in front of you. ,,You just don't know how to listen, do you?" His eyes swallow the sight in front of him, taking every bit of your marvellous body in. You open your mouth to reply, but Jungkook stops you. ,,Don't say a fucking word." His cold voice sends shivers down your spine and make your toes curl in excitement. This is exactly what you wanted and imagined while watching Jungkook perform. ,,What did you think you were doing by sending me that video? Disobeying my order and moaning like a dirty slut? You're lucky that only Taehyung was in the car with me." You have to bite your tongue to prevent yourself from asking questions like, why didn't you wear earphones like you usually do or why didn't you check the volume of your phone before clicking on it? Jungkook's thumb brushes over your cheek, trailing down to your lower lip. ,,Open." You take his thumb inside, tongue ploddingly circling around his digit. But then he exchanges his thumb with two of his fingers. He drags them all the way in, the sudden movement making you cough. He fucks your mouth with his long and thick fingers, watching your eyes get teary and smirking every time you try to hold back your chocking. With a harsh pull he drags them out of your mouth again, taking his slick fingers in his own mouth and licking them clean from your saliva. Jungkook leans down, one hand cupping your face. ,,Tongue." You immediately stretch out your tongue, looking up at him with obedience glimmering in your orbs. A big drop of Jungkook's spit falls onto your tongue. You close your mouth and visibly swallow his saliva. Jungkook hums satisfies before he leans back again. ,,Take my pants off," he orders. While your hands work on opening his belt and pulling down the zipper, Jungkook removes his black pullover and scatters it across the room. As you tug his pants down you can't stop gawking his arm painted with tattoos and chest that is graced with his big muscles. Jungkook kicks his pants away. You rest your hands on your bare thighs, your digits tickling just from thinking about touching Jungkook's body, but you're certain he won't allow you to. He discards his briefs and his rock hard cock springs free, nearly slapping your face. You swallow once you take his length into sight. Big and hard and veiny. So ready to get sucked by you. Jungkook spreads his precum over his cock, his hand leisurely stroking himself, pushing his foreskin back with every rub. ,,Did you think about sucking me off while watching me tonight?" Jungkook's dark voice snaps you out of your thoughts. You nod. Perhaps the first thing you want to do whenever you feel horny. ,,What a naughty slut you are." He grabs his cock from the base and rubs his tip over your face, his sticky precum marking your cheeks and lips. You poke your tongue out, getting a brief taste of his cock. Jungkook hisses and takes a step back. Jungkook clicks his tongue. ,,Did I fucking tell you to open your mouth?" He grabs a fistful of your hands, tugging at your strands with a strong hold. ,,Please, I just wanna suck you off," you reply, voice oh so sweet and batting your eyelashes innocently. ,,Greedy whore," Jungkook says, letting go of your hair. He rubs the cockhead over your lips and you have to dig your nails into your thighs to not open your

mouth and take him. ,,You really want to? Huh?" ,,Uh-huh." Even you can't believe how desperate you sound. ,,Then open your mouth." Within a second you part your lips, eyes looking up at him with hope. ,,Hands behind your back." You do, impatiently stretching your tongue out. You thought Jungkook would start slow, maybe let you get used to his size, but you certainly didn't think about him ramming his cock past your lips, hitting the back of your throat. Your eyes sting with tears and you gag around him. The warmth of your mouth envelopes Jungkook's hard, veiny cock and he shortly kicks his head back, relishing the tightness of your throat, letting out a pleased groan. ,,Aw, already crying, baby?" he coos, thumb sweeping over the one tear that rolled down your cheek. Saliva gathers in your mouth and you swallow, your throat tightening even more around his length. ,,Shit," Jungkook moans, taking that as the go for fucking your mouth. He starts moving his hips, long cock pushing in and out, his tip hitting your throat continuously. Low moans ring through the room as Jungkook picks a faster rhythm. Your face was already dirty with his precum and now your chin is coated with your own saliva. ,,That's what you fucking get for behaving like a bad girl," Jungkook hisses, hips rolling forward with a hard push. You choke around his cock, eyes filling with tears again. Brows furrowing as you try to relax your throat the best you're able to. His tattooed hand is pushing the back of your head closer to him, your nose brushing his shaved skin. You swallow, making Jungkook hiss when your warm throat gets even tighter. ,,I bet your pussy was a mess after the concert was done, hm? Did you get wet while watching me?" In small moves he rocks his hips back and forth. You close your eyes, the tears immediately falling down your cheeks and dropping to the ground, following the spit that already trickled down your chin. His fingers in your hair tighten, wrapping around a few strands before harshly tugging at them. ,,Fucking look at me when I'm talking to you," Jungkook exclaims, pierced eyebrow dangerously arched. ,,God, you enjoy this way too much, don't you, baby?" He slips his cock out of your mouth and you cough and splutter, tears coursing down your face. ,,Such a pathetic slut." He spits on your face, rubbing his spit into your skin with his cockhead. You're glad that you already took your make-up off, because else your face would have been way much of a mess than now. Jungkook taps the tip of his cock on your cheeks, moving down to your tongue and doing the same there when you poke out your wet muscle as an invitation. You love having his cock in your mouth, being able to taste him. You close your mouth a little, sucking on his tip. Jungkook puffs out a shaky breath, enjoying your gentle sucking for a moment before he pulls your head away. You watch him as he lies down on the bed, hand prompting you to follow him. ,,Sit down on my face." As soon as you hear the words you discard your panties and climb up the bed, throwing your leg over Jungkook's body and position yourself over his head. His fingers pull your soaked lips apart, cursing once when he ogles your glistening pussy. Jungkook pulls you down by gripping your ass with his big hands, his wet muscle liking a stripe up over your folds. You shudder when he meets your clit briefly, hands gripping the headboard. His digits hold your hole open and he flicks his tongue over your entrance, teasing it with short and quick brushes before he sinks into your warmth. ,,Jungkook," you pant, head slowly falling forward. His nose nudges your clit, rubbing against your sensitive bud with every move of his head. Soon your hips start rolling. Jungkook mouth latches onto your clit and suckles on it, making you squirm and squeak on top of him. ,,Just like that, ohhh." One hand trails down to his hair, tugging at his strands and combing his soft hair. You move faster now, Jungkook's grunts against your pussy prompting your

aching hole to clench around nothing, making it long for his big cock. His name is embedded in your brain like a mantra, his too skilled mouth making you see stars. Jungkook's hands skim over your bare back, tongue swirling over your clit in fast movements. One thumb teases your hole, not quite sinking in, but the added sensation is enough to make you grip the headboard harder, shut your eyes close and focus on the feeling inside your stomach that steadily grows. You choke out a moan, the anticipation of your orgasm running through your body like a wildfire. He is slurping your juices, his face covered in your arousal. ,,'tis so good," you slur. His tongue is wild and fierce, relentlessly assaulting your throbbing clit. Jungkook reaches for his dick to rub his cock. He can't bear to listen to your delicious sweet moans without touching himself, he'd go crazy. ,,Don't stop - fuck, baby - please don't stop." Pleasure fills every cell of your body. Your legs close around his head more, trapping his face between your thighs. The coil in your stomach is so close to finally shatter. Your thighs start to tremble and you're momentarily stop breathing, too focused on your climax than anything else. Suddenly Jungkook pulls you down from his face, his skilled tongue gone from your drenched folds and all that is left is your shaky breathing and trembling body from your stolen orgasm. ,,I was close!" you complain. Jungkook scoffs. ,,Sweet of you to think that you get to cum when you want to." ,,Jungkook," you whine. Fuck, you didn't think it through when you decided to tease him. ,,Don't you even dare to look at me with big innocent eyes. You're a dirty slut and dirty sluts are only allowed to cum when I want them to cum." You huff. You won't be able to persuade Jungkook with your pouty and innocent looks this time. ,,Ride my cock and maybe then I'll allow you to cum," Jungkook says, grabbing your hips to position you better on his lap. There's no need to say it again, you already raise your body to align his cock to your entrance, sinking down once your positioned it right. Your both moan at the feeling. ,,You're so goddamn tight, fuck." His cock stretches your walls open, making room for his huge girth. ,,S-so big," you whimper, eyes momentarily closed when you get used to his size. You slowly start moving your hips back and forth and build up a rhythm. ,,A whore like you can take my cock, don't you think so?" You don't answer, way too focused on how his cock is feeling inside you, stroking just the right places. Forceful fingers grip your throat, his big hand completely covering your throat. Your brows pinch when he puts pressure on your neck. Hands resting on his chest for leverage. ,,I think I've never seen you this desperate before," he smirks, smug amusement lingering in his eyes. ,,Love your cock," you admit, clasping his arm that's around your throat. ,,Didn't expect anything else from a desperate slut like you," he retorts, smacking your ass. You moan his name, bouncing faster on his lap and sinking your teeth into your lower lip. Jungkook could listen to you screaming his name all day long. ,,Who's slut are you, hm?" ,,Yours - mhm, fuck - I'm your slut, Jungkook!" Jungkook slaps your ass again, fingers gripping your flesh and nails digging into your skin. You whimper, thighs starting to ache a little, but you won't stop - can't stop - when you get closer to cumming with every rock of your hips. Jungkook thumb nestles between your bodies and starts circling around your clit. You mewl when he cruelly flicks his thumb over your little bud, carefully watching your reaction. Your boobs start bouncing as you fasten your speed, almost spilling out of the bra cups. He cherishes the sight in front of him, his hand around your throat moves to cup your cheek. Jungkook's thumb caresses your bottom lip, it's red and puffed from kissing and biting, looking so beautiful and lewd. You take his thumb in, working your tongue around it while holding

eye contact with Jungkook.

A few sweaty strands of his hair fell onto his forehead. His whole body is covered in a layer of sweat, just like you. He withdraws his thumb from your mouth before he holds your hips with it, a curse falling from him as your pussy contracts around his length. Your hips move in an unsteady manner, but it's enough for you to set the knot in your stomach on fire. ,,Can I please cum?" you whine desperately. ,,No." God, he's so annoying. An exasperated huff bubbles past your lips. You find it hard to concentrate on not cumming when he fiddles with your clit, so you wrap your fingers around his wrist. ,,Fuck, then please stop playing with my clit if you don't want to make me cum!" With a sly smirk he complies, hand wandering to your hair instead and pulling you down to him. His lips meet yours, passionately kissing you with his soft mouth. Jungkook's wet muscle explores your mouth wildly and you moan into the kiss when he squeezes your ass with boss his hands. Jungkook moves on to your neck, biting and sucking and liking until he his satisfied with the result - neck blooming in red marks. When you're both done kissing and marking each others bodies you start bouncing on his cock again, hips languidly twisting and desperate tones filling the air again. Jungkook's mind is too fogged up with pleasure and euphoria to be able to control himself. Perhaps that's why he tugged at your bra a little too strong, and made the flimsy piece snap in the middle of your boobs instead of only tugging the cups down. ,,Ah, fuck, sorry, babe," he grunts, his words more hollow than being actually sincere. ,,Koo," you scold, the straps of your bra slowly falling from your shoulders and freeing your tits. Jungkook hurls the two pieces away and palms both of your breasts. He isn't really concerned about him destroying his favourite set of lingerie - yet. ,,This isn't the first time," you remind him, words breathlessly falling from you as you keep going with your fast rolls on his cock. The amount of bras, panties and tights he managed to tear to pieces are uncountable. ,,I know." Your soft tits in his hands are way too distracting. God, he can't get enough of your gorgeous body. ,,I'll always buy you new lingerie though,", he says, short memories of every time he bought you sexy underwear, the Little smiles that always graced your face when you opened the too expensive boxes with even more expensive little pieces of clothing in there. Jungkook loves spoiling you, he can't quite decipher the why, but he guesses it's for the sole reason of seeing you happy whenever he buys you something. ,,It's been a while." Your hands reach down to his chest, hands slowly skimming over his abs. ,,Really?" Jungkook tries to think about the last time he gifted you a new set, but the last time he is able to recall is way too far away. ,,You're right. I've been - shit - I've been too busy with work." ,,It's fine, babe," you assure. You feel how your chest tightens again, and how your insides are all tossing and turning in anticipation of the incoming climax that grows bigger with every brush against your sweet spot. ,,Well, it's only fine if you make me cum right now." It's like you words snap him out of his trance, remind him that he is supposed to be punishing you for that stupid video you sent him and not have a small chit chat with you. He tweaks your nipple, causing you to whimper. ,,Oh no, absolutely not." Jungkook wraps his arms around your back, pulling you down to his body and starts to pound into your pussy from beneath you. You squeal at his rapid pace, the layer of sweat on his chest sticking to your cheek. ,,You want to cum so badly, don't you?" he coos. The headboard slams against the wall with every snap of his hips, leaving your pitiable neighbours no room for imagination at what you are both doing. ,,I'm so close," you whimper, hands gripping his biceps and nails scratching his skin. ,,Yeah? You're close?" You nod, eyes tightly shut close and body yearning for release. His

hands reach down for your ass, big hands spanking your cheeks before he holds them in a strong grip. ,,You want to cum? Huh?" A shred of hope arises within you when you hear his words. But what a shame that you have your eyes closed and can't see the crooked smile that blooms on Jungkook's face. ,,Please," you beg. But then Jungkook holds up your hips and let's his cock slip out from your clenching hole. ,,Jungkook," you mewl, your pussy pulsating around nothing and longing to get filled up again. He throws you onto the mattress, spreading your legs and sitting between them. Your chest is rising up and down heavily and your whole body is covered in sweat. ,,You're so mean," you say, brows stubbornly pinched together. ,,And you're so wet," he replies, a digit running over your soaked pussy lips. ,,Shit," he whispers to himself, mesmerised by your pretty pussy. His cock is back inside your pussy before you realise. You sigh pleased, his girth perfectly reaching every spot inside you without having to try. Jungkook grabs your calves and pushes them up to your chest. ,,You're such a slut for taking my cock so well," Jungkook comments, eyes glued to the spot where your bodies connect. Your tits move with every move and you're immediately back at fighting back your orgasm that is so easy to trigger after everything Jungkook put you through. Jungkook stares at the bulge in your lower stomach, the movements of his cock visibly showing through your body. His deep thrusts are already rekindling the heat in you core, your muscles tightening in pleasure. ,,You fucking did it on purpose, didn't you?" Jungkook asks, tongue poking his cheek and eyes as cold as never before. ,,You wanted him to hear you moan, right? Wanted to show him how you sound in bed and get all the attention, huh?" Jungkook clenches his sharp jawline. You don't reply, only shyly biting your lip and averting your gaze to where he pounds into you. Jungkook is right. And him calling you out like that is oddly making you feel embarrassed. ,,Answer me, slut," he urges. Jungkook's hand slaps your cheek harshly, leaving a red mark on your already flushed skin. ,,Y-yes. I did it on purpose," you mumble, now meeting his piercing gaze. ,,God, I hate the brat that you are sometimes," he groans, punctuating his statement with a hard drag of his cock. ,,Always seeking for attention, huh? Am I not enough for you dirty slut?" You shake your head vigorously. ,,You are enough - nnghh - I, I just wanted to tease." ,,Wanted attention from another man?" He is rapidly drilling inside you, bruising your aching pussy with fierce strokes. The jealousy on his mind goading his unrelentless speed and the dirty words that fall from him. ,,No! I only want you! Only you, Kookie," you choke out, surprised at yourself for managing to speak at this point. ,,Oh, is that so?" He asks, voice sounding like he doesn't believe you, doesn't believe the pathetic words that you puff out. ,,Uh-huh!" Voice small and being the absolute opposite of sounding convincing, but how are you supposed to focuse on that, when you have a big cock mercilessly splitting your pussy open? ,,Huh? What was that?" He heard that paltry affirmation clearly, but that's not enough for Jungkook. He raises his pierced eyebrow, scanning your fucked out features and waiting for an answer. ,,I want you, Jungkook! Only you, no one else!" ,,Yeah?" ,,Yes!" He grabs your thighs to wrap them around his waist, hands squeezing your throat one more time for good measure. Your heels dig into his body with every stroke against your sensitive spot. Your heartbeat roars in your ears, the hot pleasure blurring every thing except Jungkook's perfect girth fucking you brainless. ,,Then show me how much you want me," Jungkook pants. ,,Cum around my cock and show me how much my dirty slut wants me." His hands are anchored in your hips, digits creating bruises all over your soft skin. Jungkook's approval for you to cum comes out of nowhere, but your body is certainly

ready for it - has been for so long now. ,,I c-can cum?" ,,Do it now or I'll use you a bit longer as my fuck toy." The small threat, combined with his dark eyes sends chills down your spine, but at the same time you're quick to react and reach down to touch your clit, playing with yourself to make you cum faster, but before your finger is close to your swollen bud, Jungkook grabs your small wrist. ,,You didn't want me to touch your clit before too, so now you don't get to touch it either." That smirk that spreads on his face is so wicked. An immediate whine erupts from your throat. ,,Complain some more and you'll be choking on my cock again." Well, that doesn't sound that bad, but reaching your high is higher on your priority list, so you fist the sheets next to you instead, sinking your teeth into your lower lip. All the times Jungkook wickedly robbed you from having an orgasm comes crashing down on your whole body with full force. The intensity catches you off guard, mouth agape and eyes tightly screwed shut as you let the knot in your stomach snatch and overwhelm all your senses. Every inch tickling and trembling as the pleasure overtakes each nerve of yours until you are a nothing but a mess beneath him. Jungkook is literally creating a mess, his teasing and edging on you causes a climax that feels like it could shatter you whole, your pussy leaking with juices, spilling everywhere and making everything wet. The sheets, Jungkook's lower body, your thighs - everything soaked in your arousal. A high pitched moan cuts through the thick air, rebounding off the walls and echoing in your ears. One hand palming your breast, while the other ones tightly clenches its fist around the sheet, you lock your legs tighter around his waist. Jungkook curses, watching the scene unfold in front of him and tries to get his eyes on every little detail, take all of your utterly beautiful being in. He'd never get tired of watching you getting completely lost in pleasure. Your walls flutter around him, a shaky breath falling from his mouth as you continuously tighten on his cock. Jungkook follows with a low, prolonged groan, stilling his hips momentarily when he spills his seed inside you, before he continues with a slower speed, cock pumping you full with his cum. You're gasping for breath, the climax overwhelmed you in every sense you could possibly imagine and making your brain go all foggy. You can't think of anything else than the astounding feeling of pleasure that rippled through your nerves like sparks of a fire. ,,Fuck, I love making you squirt around my cock," Jungkook says, eyes glued to the spot that's now all soaked and drenched with your juices. Your stomach clenches with every move he does, your pussy sensitive like never before. ,,Jungkook," you sigh, his name rolling over your pretty lips the softest he has ever heard. ,,You're good, baby?" Jungkook's thumb caresses your hip bone, eyes filled with so much adoration. Your cheeks are flushed, lips painted in a darker colour, eyes soft like they're always when you look at him and neck marked with different shades of love. He adores this sight. Could never get enough of it. And that's why he loves fucking you till you're in the current state, because god, you're gorgeous and magnificent and unbelievable. You hum your response, too exhausted to say anything. Your hands seek for his body, pulling him down once your tired limbs reach him and let his warmth engulf you. Your body still feels electrified after you calmed down for a bit, Jungkook's cock still tucked within your drenched pussy reminding you of the sharp and calculated thrusts that got you right were you are right now. Jungkook peppers kisses over your face and neck, allowing him to cling onto him like a koala baby while he comforts you. Slowly his cock slips out of you. You whimper at that, but Jungkook is quickly there to seals your lips together with a sweet peck. Jungkook cleans you up before he's back in the same position, lying on top of you and nuzzling

his face into your neck. You stare at the ceiling, deep in thoughts before an annoyed huff bubbles from your lips. ,,What's wrong, baby?" Jungkook plants a loving kiss on your collarbone and then looks up at you. ,,I'm mad." ,,At what?" ,,I changed the bed sheets today and now they're all dirty again." You pout thinking about having to change them again. Jungkook chuckles, stealing a kiss from you, but the pout remains. ,,It's fine, I'll change them for us." ,,But they're my favourite sheets," you sulk. ,,Well, next time don't squirt if you don't like the mess afterwards." ,,It's your fault for edging me the whole time!" you defend. ,,I'd say then don't make me mad, but I know you do all of this bratty shit to get me to order you around and call you dirty names, because you're a naughty girl." You faintly blush at that, biting your lip and hiding your face into his biceps. Jungkook is right. With all of it. Jungkook chuckles at your reaction, brushing your hair with his fingers. ,,How exactly did Taehyung react to my video?" you ask when you suddenly remember how you got Jungkook mad in the first place. ,,Shit, I totally forgot about that," he groans. ,,I'm still pissed at you for that." ,,Wait, did he see it?!" ,,No, but it's bad enough that he heard you moaning." You giggle. Jungkook is noticeably upset about it, so you comb your fingers through his hair. ,,It's fine baby." ,,It's not fine. You're mine, y/n. No one gets to hear those delicate sounds from you except me," he claims and his arms around you tighten their hold. ,,Did he say something?" ,,Mmh-hm," he mumbles and nuzzles further into your neck. ,,Soo...?" You question and tilt your head to have a better look at him. ,,Taehyung can be an asshole sometimes." You know when it comes to you Jungkook is sensitive and pretty easy to provoke, because of his protective nature. Which is also the reason why the boys sometimes - well, recently more often than only sometimes - take that as an advantage and tease him with you. ,,He said something mean?" you try to guess, but Jungkook shakes his head. ,,Doesn't matter what he said," Jungkook answers, lifting himself up from your body. You're a bit confused about him avoiding to answer your questions, but barely a second later Jungkook slides his arms under you, his strong arms securely hoisting you up. You naturally wrap your arms around his neck and don't even question where he is going with you. ,,We should take a shower now." Jungkook ducks down to press a sweet kiss to your temple. ,,Or do you want me to run you a bath?" he asks, eyes roaming over your face to discern if he exhausted you more than usually today. ,,Showering is fine," you reassure. ,,You're sure?" You nod and lean your head against his strong chest. Jungkook continues walking, but to your confusion he doesn't aim for the bathroom but walks down the hall. ,,You should drink some water first," he says after feeling your baffled stare on him. ,,I'm good, Koo." ,,Your throat must be feeling sore after all the screaming, babe." Your cheeks heat up when he calls you out like that. ,,N-no? That's not the case," you defend yourself. Jungkook casts a brief glance down to you, his pierced eyebrow arched. ,,I wasn't that loud...," you pout. ,,You can't tell me your throat is okay after I shoved my whole cock inside you, babe." ,,See? It wasn't my screaming, it was you stuffing your whole cock into my throat." ,,Was it too much? Did you not like it?" he asks, concern coating his words. He stops walking towards the kitchen and eyes you with a worried look. You roll your eyes. ,,Really?" ,,Yeah, you're right. I don't know why I was worried, you're a whore for sucking cock." ,,Jungkook!" you scold, swatting his chest. ,,What? Am I wrong?" he says, with a big bunny smile adorning his face. ,,No, but you're getting too comfortable with calling me dirty names outside of sex." ,,Then you have to stop getting comfortable with sending me nudes," he

retorts. Your mouth hangs open. ,,I know that you like them! Your the one always asking me to send something." ,,Next time I ask, don't send me anything, okay?" ,,But why?" ,,It's risky." ,,I know damn well that you're gonna ask for something the next time you guys go on tour," you say, rolling your eyes again, because he is being ridiculous right now. ,,I won't," he claims. ,,And if I do, then please don't send anything. At least one of us has to stay strong." ,,Babe, I think-" You want to tell him how stupid this sudden idea of his is - you can't even imagine sending no nudes to Jungkook when he is away, it's something usual between the two of you - but he cuts you off. ,,No, this is officially the end of sending nudes to each other. We won't be doing that anymore," Jungkook says. By now you arrived at the kitchen and Jungkook searches a glass for you. ,,I don't like this," you mumble, sighing when Jungkook gives no response and rest your cheek on his buff chest. The disappointment of him cancelling something that kept your relationship fun and exciting doesn't last for long though - you know he won't be able to hold onto his new rule, he'll be begging you to send something soon enough.

#jungkook smut #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #bangtanuniversity #btscreatorscorner #jeon jungkook smut #jeon jungkook #bts smut #bts x you #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #jungkook idol!au #jungkook established relationship #kpop smut

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physicalturian · 2 years

Text

[18+] Deranged Love - Hanma Shuji x F!Reader - Part 11

[Probably contains spoilers from the anime and the manga][She/Her pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone is +18]

Archiveofourown - Spotify Playlist

Words : 12 689

Inspiring art : Link 1

Warnings : Explicit! / Angst / NSFW / Gaslighting / Graphic depiction of injuries / Mention of sacrilegious actions / Priest Kink? / Male receving oral sex / Medical malpractice

- - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 -Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10

So he stepped inside.

Of course he had to lean on me right when he shuffled in, half his weight on me while he balanced the rest himself. There was no way I could bring his heavy, bloodied body upstairs, so I sat him on my couch and while still dressed for my night out, I hurried upstairs to get a few towels, only taking time to throw my shoes and gloves on the floor of my bedroom. When I arrived back downstairs, I placed the towels on the back of the couch and hurried to the kitchen to get the safety kit from the top of the shelf; with the alcohol slowly leaving my system, I realized how much my foot hurt when I got on my toes to get the box and the pain made itself known.

The bleeding man on the couch made me forget about it after a few seconds as I made my way back to him and grabbed the towels again before moving in front of the couch. When I saw him laying down, with his head on the arm of the couch and his feet dangling at the end from how tall he was, I patted his chest, “Lift yourself, you’re not bleeding on my couch.” I ordered, waiting for him to move.

He didn’t.

I waited a moment and he didn’t even stir.

“Hanma, please sit up.” I said a bit more sternly this time, a bit of despair starting to mix in with my seriousness. He did not budge at all, and if the blood pouring through his fingers from the wound on his side wasn’t enough to worry me, his lack of response did.

Placing my hand under him, I lifted him enough to slide the towel under him, grunting at how heavy he was when uncooperative. Thinking he was playing with me, I scoffed, “I did it myself, you can stop being childish and open your eyes, Shuji.” I tried to meet his gaze, he was bound to look at me at some point, right? A few moments passed and he didn’t say anything. I let out a distressed laugh and focused back on his wound, “Fine, be stubborn. I think the pain of me digging in your wound will make you react for sure.” Once more, I thought he’d make a comment, maybe rest his hand on my shoulder while mocking me but still be sort of sweet, instead there was a dead silence. I knew the man loved hearing himself talk, and suddenly being in the same room as him without any word coming from him made everything a lot more dull and morose.

I needed to take care of him, even if I was no nurse and I didn’t know what I could do except get the bullet out. I let out a laugh at the thought while taking the scissors from the box and cutting his shirt to get the fabric out of the wound and out of the way. “I’m drunk and on edge, can’t promise I won’t throw up when the blood starts gushing from your wound, okay?” Making small talk helped me feel less opressed from the silence—even if he wasn’t answering, it helped me a little bit. Blinking slowly, I felt my head spinning slightly when I knelt by the couch and moved the box from the table to the ground next to me. I took a few seconds to settle then grabbed the tweezers, ready to do the job; the dim light wasn’t enough for me to see anything, so with a sigh I put it down and turned on a brighter light before going back to what I was doing.

This time I could see clearly the hole on his side and the bullet nested in the flesh. Seeing it was gruesome enough, but when I took the bottle of disinfectant and poured some on the wound, I shivered in disgust, knowing full well how much it hurt. Hanma stirred at that, but didn’t open his eyes, his right arm crossed over his chest while the other tangled from the couch—which I moved to his chest quickly. “The things we do for… the things we do, huh?” I said with a short laugh. When I leaned in to get a closer look at the wound, I caught a whiff of the strong metallic stench of blood and felt nauseous, almost gagging from it. Looking up, I closed my mouth tight and paused everything to hold back from throwing up, “I think I’d rather you’d gotten stabbed than shot, I wouldn’t have had to go full speleologist on you if that were the case.” I truly believed making jokes would help, so I kept talking while I dug the tweezers inside the wound.

I realized my hand was shaking and used my other one to stabilize it the best I could while slowly trying to find a proper way to get the bullet. “I’m pretty sure Bonten has some medical team or something to take care of you, I don’t know why you came to me,” I mumbled, not expecting any answers from him as I felt the tip of the tweezers touch the bullet. Instead of focusing on that, I kept talking while trying to grab it. “Maybe they don’t like you and you’re afraid they’d let you die, that wouldn’t be surprising. You’re despicable, you have that talent to get on people’s nerves.” Slowly I pulled the bullet, I could feel Hanma tense up in the awful state he was in and almost found it pretty to see his face contort in pain. He was always so proud and arrogant, in control… Seeing him like this was the closest to what I could call intimacy. Pausing, I patted around me to get my purse and my phone, all while keeping the tweezers in, and with one hand looked up what to do, in case I was doing something wrong.

Speed-reading was necessary, and as I did, of course I had forgotten something. Going by instinct was not good in such a situation, and yet I had done just that; putting the phone on Hanma’s stomach, I applied pressure on his side while I took out the bullet, then pressed my hand on it quickly when blood oozed out. Bile rose to my throat as I dropped everything on the towel and covered my mouth with the back of my hand, the one part of my hands that wasn’t covered in blood, and looked away. “Shuji, wake up and stitch yourself up, I don’t want to do this.” I whispered with a gentle shove of his shoulder. Of course he didn’t react, it was a stupid attempt of mine to think he’d wake up now.

My eyes locked on his pained face longer than necessary, sadness was filling me up and I didn’t know what to do about it. “You better wake up when I’ve stitched you up.” I grumbled before rummaging through the box for a needle and some thread—I had none that was made for medical use, but there was my sewing kit in the drawer of the table that would do just fine. So I took it and to be able to keep pressure on the wound, I pressed my forearm on it while using my hands to thread the thread through the needle hole. It took longer than necessary with how my hands were shaking and how my breath was starting to heave while my heart was beating fast. “You know, I’m sure you have enough connections to get out of prison—like, if you had gone to the hospital, sure they’d have arrested you but—” a nervous, worried laugh escaped my lips; I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, but held them back and with a playful tone continued, “But at least you wouldn’t die, you know? Something that might happen if I fuck up.” I laughed louder than I thought I would, but it was not humorous one bit, I was wrecked with anxiety.

Carefully, I moved my hand from his side and could see how the blood had painted most of his skin, the spot was larger than the wound itself, making it look a lot more dramatic. To help me see better, I wiped some of it with the corner of the towel and started by pressing the tip of the needle in the skin. I didn’t know how much pressure I’d need, nor if my needle would hold, but as I pierced the skin, I knew I had to keep going. So I did, I pinched the skin to keep it close and stitched through it. The thread was darkening with blood at each stitch, making my breath hitch more and more as time went on. Even with the wound held together the best I could, blood was gradually dripping from the still unsewn part. “Hey, I said I’d never ask for a favor, right? I’m sure you remember, you always remember the worst shit…” My hands were trembling, I pierced the skin again and threaded through it, my vision blurring from exhaustion and tears. “And I guess I’m fucking myself over by asking that, but maybe you’ll listen if I ask.” I scoffed dryly, then clicked my tongue against my teeth when I dropped the needle and grabbed it again.

“Don’t die on me, please.” A tear rolled down my cheek, but I smiled, a strained smile, and kept going, “Because you’re my safety net, you asshole. You can’t let me deal with the Haitani brothers alone, that would be a bastard move of you.” If I kept talking, I wouldn’t be left with the deafening silence that plagued us, I wouldn’t be alone with him completely out of it, on the brink of death. With only time as narrator of where the story would go, because once I was done patching him up and I had put a gauze pad on the sewn wound, all I could do was wait.

Wait in the late night, or early morning, for him to open his eyes. For him to give me any sign of recovery, of gaining some color to his beautiful face, to look at me with that same mocking attitude or boredom he’d be usually eager to share.

And for once, I wanted it.

I wanted him to banter, I wanted him to be playful, I wanted him to tease me, I wanted him to touch me.

I wanted him, all of him.

And I knew it was bad. Even more so knowing I had come to the realization after he had beaten a man close to death, but my silly little mind felt flattered he had done it for me. For himself too, maybe, for the sake of being entertained, but I wanted to believe he did it for me, even if he hadn’t.

With a glance at him, I packed everything up and put everything back in the kitchen, then washed my hands before returning to the living room. I wasn’t sure what to do while waiting for him, what I did know what that I was not going to leave his side until he’d wake up; that’s why I grabbed some pillows and put them on the ground next to him and sat down, my back resting against the couch as I turned on the TV on low volume. It was the only idea I had to stay awake until he’d wake up, if he’d wake up. No, he will wake up, I’m sure he can take a beating, so why not a bullet? Right?

For a split second I hesitated, then looked over my shoulder to take his hand and rolled up his sleeve, then placed two fingers inside his wrist and checked for a pulse. Those few seconds of waiting were dreadful, but once I was focused enough, I felt the beat against the tip of my fingers and let out a sigh of relief. And I looked back at the screen, without ever letting go of his hand and still holding it over my shoulder. I would let go once he’d wake up, right when I’d feel him stir I’d let go, because if he knew I cared even a little bit, he’d make use of it. He already knew I wanted him, even just slightly, when I tried to kiss him in the photo booth—he didn’t need to know more.

Of course what one said, what one planned, could easily go awry. While I did stay by his side most of the time and only left a few times to go to the toilet or to get a blanket, all this moving around did not suffice to keep me awake. I fought hard to keep my eyes open, I even changed channels a few times when there wasn’t enough action, but the volume was low, too low, because I didn’t want to wake up Hanma. He needed to rest, he needed to get back on his feet and be the usual playful asshole I knew and was starting to enjoy the company of. So it made me even more sleepy, the TV was like background noise and it lulled me to sleep slowly but surely. First, with some head-tilts to the side, then when I stopped straightening my head my mouth fell open, but I closed it when it dried and I startled awake, wiping the corner of my mouth just in case.

That only happened twice, because as we all know, the third time’s a charm and I did not have enough energy to keep my head up so I let it fall back and welcomed sleep with some reluctance.

For the little time I was out, I managed to dream of this very night.

Every sensation I felt in that alley, every emotion, every touch from him… it was carved in my memory, stopping me from forgetting, so much so that I dreamt of what could have happened if Shusuke hadn’t shot him, if the police hadn’t arrived, if I hadn’t been forced to lie my way through it all.

But dreams didn’t always make sense…

Things heat up as I feel his hands grope me in the most vulgar ways—that I welcome with open-mouthed moans—I place my hands on him and feel a wetness on my hand. His mouth is on my skin, he has long since pried my dress off my body and is keeping my legs open with his knees, clearly unbothered by the blood dripping from his wound. I know he is talking to me, I know it is him, but he doesn’t have a face and I can’t understand his words. I want to tell him he is bleeding, but he moves his hands from my waist to my face and brushes my cheek gently. Perhaps that's what made me realize it was a dream, he is too sweet, his kiss too tender and his smile too kind—it lacks spice. It isn’t as interesting to see him like that, not when he’s conditioned me to have this play-pretend fighting spirit between each intimate moment we had.

I tell him off, I try to pry him off of me. He doesn’t budge. Now his actions become rougher, but now the way he’d usually do it, it’s genuine roughness, close to violence when he pushes me harder against the wall and has my head hit it. When he speaks, his voice isn’t his, “Playing hard to get? Dressed like that?” Disgust fills my chest when I try to cover it, Shusuke’s voice is now echoing in the dark alley. I look around, Hanma is on the ground, blood pooling around him. A hand is on my mouth. Is it mine? Is it out of shock? I look up at the man in front of me, his face is close. His hand is the one on my mouth, he’s telling me to shut up, to stop screaming. Am I screaming? I’m trying to understand what’s going on, but I can’t get a grasp of it.

I’m crying.

I’m wailing.

Shusuke shushes me by kissing me hard, I’m going to throw up.

I kick him hard, then the same thing is happening again, the same thing that happened that night. I’m doing exactly what Hanma did, the knee in the face, the beating him up mercilessly, the laughing. But as I do so, I am aware of the body lying on the ground behind me, it pains me, my chest hurts so much. Hitting him makes me feel better, it helps release the anger he helped build in my entire being.

Shusuke says something but I can’t hear it, all I’m hearing is the muffled sounds of my cries that soon are drowning under the loud sirens of the police.

My heart speeds up, I scurry off Shusuke and—

I was startled awake and from the little state of consciousness I was in, I could hear the wailing of the police sirens driving off in the distance and quickly becoming nothing but the deafening silence I was trying hard to drown. It must have driven past my house and woke me up, which I was grateful for, somehow; I was glad to not be asleep anymore, to not be suffocating in this dreadful dream I was having that could have happened if the police hadn’t arrived. That’s why I hated it, that’s why it worried me so much, because if there wasn’t that pressure of escaping the police, of not getting caught, I feared what Hanma would have done. I feared how far he would have gone—the worst was that what scared me wasn’t that he’d kill the man, no… That was something I almost wanted. What scared me was that he was enjoying himself too much, he’d probably have ignored his wound until Shusuke was nothing but purée under him, his face unrecognizable, battered, mashed.

If he had died… I looked at the ceiling and took a deep breath to control my heart rate and calm it. With a sigh, I stood up and let out a wince at how sore my butt was from sitting on the ground. Throwing a glance at Hanma, I couldn’t ignore the worry growing in my chest when seeing he was still asleep. Seeing him vulnerable was not a sight I thought I’d see, and since he hadn’t chosen to be in this position, I felt guilty. Perhaps if he had opened up to me, for whatever reason, I would have liked it, maybe even felt honored. But this? He couldn’t die like that, not from a bullet wound, no… He just couldn’t.

Trying to coo him out of slumber, I threaded my hand through his hair. “You won, I don’t hate you. You promised some fun, so wake up.” I instantly regretted saying it and never felt more relieved that he didn’t stir awake at that very moment. With a gentle brush of his hair, I had to tear my gaze off him to make my way to the kitchen. I needed to be patient, he was still breathing, that's all I could ask for right now. To stop thinking about my dream and the current state Shuji was in, the best I could do was make myself something to eat to focus on something else completely, and maybe to get some energy back. The little sleep I had was anything but restful, the overthinking and awful thinking both turned me into a walking wreck simply by making me imagine the worst scenario, one that could still happen if he didn’t wake up.

Feeling myself spiral in a dark abyss from envisaging every possible outcome, I put everything back in the fridge and took my plate with me on my way back to the living room, almost tripping from the big step I took when forgetting I was still wearing my dress. I caught myself on the back of the couch and took smaller steps until I reached my pillows on the ground and sat back down. The TV was still playing but I did not feel like sleeping anymore, I was past the state of exhaustion and felt more awake than I ever did since I got home. It must have been because of the sandwich I was eating, or probably how on edge I was.

I did not know how long it had been since we had arrived home, since he had been out of it and sleeping, but the more time passed, the more I was considering calling Koko about it. Then again, maybe he’d be too busy, or he’d send the man with the tiger tattoo—the same one that was trying to get me out of this situation I had gotten myself into and did not seem to want to leave. Raising my brows at how deep I was in from so little time spent with them, I hummed and brought the sandwich to my mouth to take another bite, only to have it taken out of my hands delicately. With the gasp I let out, I started choking on the bread from the sharp intake of breath I took when I heard the voice to whom the hand belonged say, “I’ll take that, thank you.” With how tired my brain was, it took me a moment to understand what was going on. With my eyes focused straight ahead, I let my sandwich go and blinked slowly before suddenly turning around, eyes wide opened and mouth agape.

Those same eyes travelled up and down Hanma’s body, he was leaning on his left elbow, the one close to the edge of the couch, while slowly taking bites of my sandwich from his right hand. His eyes were closed and his movements heavy, every second that went by was spent with my gaze locked on his moving form, I couldn’t believe my eyes. “That’s mine.” I managed to utter while glancing at my sandwich; Hanma didn’t reply and took another bite, humming as he did so, then with one final one he opened his eyes lazily, barely managing to keep them open. “Sharing is caring, doll. I almost died for you, you should give me some love.” His words were slurred, but hearing him speak, seeing him move and interacting with him for something so trivial brought warmth to my chest. However, I hid it. “And I took care of you, maybe you should thank me instead of being greedy.” I stated without moving from my spot. For the first time since he had woken up, our eyes met—I was almost tempted to look away in apprehension of what I’d do seeing him like that, in the heat of the moment, the joy of seeing him awake.

“Doll, it all happened because you tried to get my attention by making me jealous,” He started as he laid his head back down but tilted it towards me as his hand reached out for me. I didn’t move at first, then hesitantly held his hand. His eyes widened for a second, but he continued, with our hands clasped together, “I think it’s only fair you fix what you messed up.” My hand tightened around his as I tried to leave, outrage welling up in my chest. He held my hand tight, not letting go as he pulled me closer to stop me from leaving. The strength he had in such a weak state surprised me, but only for a moment. “Jealousy? Why would I try to make you jealous? I was simply trying to have fun—” “After telling me you’d never meddle with the cops?” He asked seriously while trying to sit up. He let go of my hand and placed his on the couch for support while I helped him by placing some pressure on his side and his back. “You chose to beat him up out there, not me, so don’t try to blame me.”

While looking down at his form, Hanma laughed dryly before letting his smile broaden, “I did choose to beat him up, do you know why?” Without missing a beat, I replied, “Because you are insane and needed entertainment.” He tutted me with a hum and a shake of his head as he rested his back against the couch and let his head fall back a moment. When he was taking too long to reply, I stood up to look at his face that was facing the ceiling and saw he was staring right at me with a proud smile, “Am I wrong?”

His reply was to lean forward quickly, too quickly since he held back a wince as he did so while placing both his hands on my hips and bringing me between his legs. Placing my hands on his shoulders for balance, I felt my body heat up—perhaps in expectation of what he’d do or embarrassment of the closeness, I had yet to decide. His head was at the height of my stomach from how tall he was, even sitting down. He leaned forward and rested his chin right on it as he looked up at me, his hands gradually lifting up the hem of my dress. “See, he did something that ticked me off.” He started, while still touching my dress.

I was debating with myself between letting him do as he pleased and swatting his hands off, but I was also aware of how much I wanted him, even after all that. Or maybe, because of all that… It made me want him more. I glanced at his hands on the fabric of my dress; my breath hitched when his cold hands touched the skin of my thighs and slid to my ass, the dress now draped over his hands and a bit of his arms. “See that? How cooperative you are.” He put me on the spot by asking that, I instinctively grabbed his hand through the fabric to stop him but didn’t do that, instead I just kept my hand on his, waiting for his next words. “It turned me on to see you turn him down, just like you fled Koko’s touch—because you want me, I’m the only one who can touch you like that. Shit, look at your face. You know I’m right, you’d prefer my hands on your pretty body more than anyone else’s.” He was right, even after all he had done I still found myself relaxing in his arms, in his presence. Each word he spoke enthralled me.

I wanted to listen in both ways. Listen to his words and listen by being what he wanted me to be, by obeying.

“You went too far tonight.” I spoke softly, hesitantly bringing one hand to his arm. Saying it felt wrong, I had nothing to say about his actions—that’s why it felt like crossing boundaries we had set without ever saying so. Hanma’s expression dropped at the same time his hands did from my dress before leaning back, this pained expression flickering on his beautiful face as he did so. “Yeah? Where did you draw the line?” He asked before raising his index finger and laughing. “No wait, don’t tell me!” He then started counting on his fingers as he listed, “Was it the hand on your ass, the kneeling—no, no, I got it, when I refused to rip your dress off?” I had forgotten about all of it until he reminded me, my entire body burst aflame because I didn’t mind any of it at all; part of my inebriated state felt disappointed when he didn’t take me right then and there, but now I couldn’t feel more happy he hadn’t. I did not want to share the view with anyone, that is if we ever fucked.

Since those were not the reasons for whyI’d qualified his actions as having gone too far, I didn’t reply. A smile started growing on his lips when our eyes met once more, and with a smirk he continued, “Could it be the beating up of that bastard? Or that I let you take care of the police?” This time his tone was more convincing, he truly felt like those were the reasons; it made my admittance a lot harder to do, but I delicately wrapped my hand around his to put his fingers down then pulled one so it looked like he was counting back from one. “Getting shot and not giving me any news.” His eyes lit up as a manic smile painted itself on his lips and a soft ‘oh’ escaped them. Another ‘oh’, this time more interested, clearly his curiosity was piqued. I let go of his hand, readying to escape but something drew me to him, like a magnet.

With slow moves, Hanma started unbuttoning his shirt while still looking at me, “Thoughts on what I did, then?” He chuckled while removing the white collar around his neck, then the cross by dropping it on the floor. Rolling my eyes, I went to grab it from the ground, only to have him push me on my knees—this time it wasn’t as uncomfortable as the club since I had pillows under. There was just that numbness in my shin from the glass I had yet to remove.

What? That’s my first thought? Not even annoyance? I held back a scoff at my train of thought, not believing what was going on. Clenching my jaw, I let go of the items and faced Hanma with what I hoped was something close to annoyance, only I feared it looked like compliance from the lack of fighting I was doing. “You know, even drunk I remember that pretty voice begging for me to get out, see…” He brought his thumb and index to his chin, comedically thinking with a hum, “I don’t know why someone would ask a criminal to flee from the police. I mean, you'd want me to get caught right?"

His slender punishment-tattooed hand hooked on my chin, gently brushing his thumb over it while looking down at me with half-lidded eyes. "Right?" "I said it already, you're my safety net, that's it. I need someone to protect me from the danger you brought into my life." I replied with a serious face even as I saw his hands leave his shirt to settle on my shoulders, and slowly, painfully so too, helped my dress off my shoulders while talking, "I'm the someone you need to feel safe, is that what you're saying? I'm the one who'll protect you—" "You wouldn't have to do that if you hadn’t put me in that position to begin with." Standing my ground right now was useless, I knew it wasn't worth shit when the straps of my dress were off my shoulders and he grinned before letting his hand slide down my arms to help it fully off.

"I don't hear you complain much about your position, you're even pretty obedient." His hands reached mine and held them shortly before pulling me towards him suddenly, with my arms on his thighs and my head on his knees, "Almost like you're enjoying it." He cooed without ever letting go of me and instead whispered for me to lift my head while he moved my hands to the zipper of his pants. A knot started forming in my stomach as I leaned back but held the waistband of his pants, an action that was opposite to my words. “You don’t get it, I’m talking about—” “I know what you’re talking about, but we also both know danger is fun. Look at you,” He nodded at me before cradling my face in his hands and tilting it back as he hovered his head over mine and beamed, “It keeps you on your toes, it’s exciting, entertaining, thrilling…” He looked down at my legs and used his feet to spread them wide so my crotch was resting on the pillow, “Arousing.” He finished with his thumbs brushing my temple almost affectionately.

Hearing him, I wondered how I ended up here, how he had me eating from his palm from so little. Why wasn’t I getting up? Why wasn’t I telling him he was wrong? Why wasn’t I fighting his words, who would say danger was entertaining and thrilling? Someone sick, for sure. So why was I still kneeling between his legs, my hands gripping the fabric of his pants, ready to pull them down and do the most shameful things?

I knew why, I had known for a moment already. Since he had disappeared for a few days, that feeling was nested in my chest, only growing over time with every second I wasn’t by his side and once I was in his presence, it was reaching out for him, to have him closer, to hold him, to feel him.

I knew what it was.

I didn’t like coming to that realization.

The realization that I longed for him. That he was an addiction, that I craved him and his awful attitude.

“Your search for entertainment and thrills fucked up my routine—” “That tone, fuck. That tone you’re using, I know you’re mad at me for whatever but,” Hanma interrupted himself and pressed a toothy kiss on my lips with a deep sigh. I barely had time to return it that he continued with his lips ghosting over mine. “It’s so hot cause you’re still so fucking prideful when on your knees!” He said with his voice reaching a certain high tone before adding in a now low voice, “D’you understand I have to fuck that pride out of you?”

“Do you understand you almost died?” I fired back, our lips touching as we spoke from how close we were.

“Do you remember your promise of making me scream the Lord’s name in vain?” He said just as fast, effectively catching me off guard as I glanced at his crotch then his eyes all in the span of a short second. His smile turned sadistic, or maybe knowing?With his right hand caressing its way to my ear, tucking a strand behind it, Hanma brushed his lips over the shell of my ear, “You’re already on your knees, let’s not let it go to waste, huh?”

Doing exactly as he did, I whispered in his ear with all the confidence I could muster when this close to undressing him, “Did your near-death experience not help you see God?” I wasn’t drunk enough for this false confidence, but I could fake it still. I could make us both believe I was still tipsy, it would justify accepting his advances and my hands unzipping his pants. I needed to justify letting go, caving in. “In the state you’re in,” I moved a hand to his wound, grazing my hand against it to see if he was in a lot of pain then looked up at him when he leaned back, “No wonder you need help getting close to Him.” I said jokingly before raising myself on my knees slightly and prying his pants open. I did not remember much from that time at his apartment—I had been too caught up in the moment to pay attention to the bulge in his pants. The one time I paid attention, he had freed his cock which was more than ready for fun, like right now.

Without wasting much time, I took his cock out and was about to say something when Hanma gripped my jaw tight and forced me to look up at him. My mouth was open from the way he held my face, he looked at it with a quirked brow then looked at his cock before looking back at me as if observing an item he was about to purchase. He tilted my head up, then to the side before facing it back to him, “Not sure it’ll fit, but since you’re such a whore for my dick, you’ll make do, right?” He did not wait for my reply to push my head onto his cock while still holding my chin tight. When it was too much of a weird position, the hand that was on my chin slid to my throat and stayed there. With the tip of his cock hitting the back of my throat, I gagged around it but moved my hands to hold his hips and started bobbing my head down his length.

I thought he'd enjoy it in silence, that we’d both know to keep our mouths shut in that very moment—even with the filthy sounds that came from my mouth as spit drooled down his dick each time I’d go up and down it. But he didn’t care, why would he keep his mouth shut when he could be having his own monologue? Through sharp breaths, Hanma started, “I’d ask you to tell me you hate me, but the way your tongue’s working—fuck, I can feel the love you have for me right now!” He said mockingly, making me dig my nails in his skin while still focusing my gaze on the gauze on his side instead of his eyes. “Don’t get your claws out like that, it gets me going even more.” He groaned with a short breathless laugh while threading his fingers through my hair to grab it at the roots. So I dug my nails deeper, still while avoiding his gaze as I lifted my head slowly so his cock was almost out of my mouth. I heard his breath hitch then let out a shaky laugh, “Who said you could stop?” Before I knew it, there was a pain in my throat when he forced my head back on him without a warning.

“That’s it, gotta keep this mouth busy or it might say something it’ll regret, yeah?” With that, he took full control by gripping my hair tight and bobbing my head himself down his length, not caring of my complaints or any sound I was making when I gripped his thighs in the hopes of balancing myself. “So fucking better to fuck your brains out myself since you can’t do it yourself.” He started, each thrust down my throat made me focus more and more on holding back from throwing up from how far and how strong he was going. Tears were streaming down my face, but it was nothing compared to the saliva drooling down my mouth. “Don’t think I’ll stop because you’re crying, you’ll take it as long as I want it.” His thrusts got rougher, I tried to match his pace, to participate the best I could but all I could now was moan and sob on his cock. The pain at my scalp and down my throat were quickly mixed with pleasure once I moved a hand between my legs and started touching myself.

Barely a few moments in, I felt him nudge my hand away from between my legs. I slammed it on the ground for balance, but he stomped his foot on it; I let out a pained moan from how the sole of his shoe hurt my fingers. It only got him going. “Look up—look up, look at me.” He repeated until our eyes met; with a condescending smile, he gritted through his teeth, pleasure clearly written on his face, “Don’t add to your sins, you’re barely scraping by right now—” One thrust, “This is you repenting for making me hard,” Another thrust, “all those fucking times and not doing shit about it, understood?” Without thinking, I nodded the best I could while a sob escaped my lips, even if muffled by his cock filling my mouth so well. “And the crying only gets me going more,” thrust, “and more,” I gagged again, my mouth constricting around his cock as he thrusted again, “and more.” This time he swore under his breath and stopped bobbing my head down his cock to keep it to the base of it. His head fell back with a satisfied smile on his lips as he let out a pleasured moan before releasing my hair and looking down at me arrogantly.

“Don’t go spitting it out the same way you spit bullshit like ‘oh I hate you’ ‘I don’t like it when you kill people’” He mimicked my voice mockingly before standing up with his dick still in my mouth as he kept my head tilted back. Slowly, he pulled out, while making sure none of his cum spilled out. As he did so, I let my tongue feel down his length to clean it the best I could. When he pulled his pants back up, he was now standing in front of me—towering over me—with one hand on my shoulder and the other under my chin to keep my mouth closed. “Go ahead, swallow your pride.” I couldn’t look away from him, I couldn’t ignore how good it felt to be in this position with him, to not have to think of much but the pain and pleasure he brought. Once this was over, I’d be back to thinking of how not to fall for him, how to resist falling down the rabbit hole he was leading me to, the same one he had jumped into willingly many years back only to be the free-spirited man he was now.

With eyes red from crying, I shook my head but didn’t spit it out yet, I wondered how far he would go to make me swallow his cum. His face turned disinterested in the blink of an eye as he let go of my face, “Fair enough, then get cleaned up, you look like shit.” He turned around and sat back down on the couch; at that very moment, desperation took over. I grabbed his knee and forced eye contact, then swallowed. I quickly grabbed his hand to bring it back to my lips, “It’s not fun if you don’t play along.” The hold on my chin was strong now as he pulled me closer to him and grinned wickedly while he forced my mouth open and pulled my tongue out to make sure there was nothing left. Without letting go, he curled a brow, “Play along? You mean force you? I’m a good guy, I’d never do that.” He said in fake outrage before letting go of my tongue and wiping his fingers on his pants.

A knot formed in my throat, how could I tell him the chase made it more fun? That I didn’t want to give in easily to him, I wanted him to try harder, that some of my nos were simply soft nos? “I wasn't, I was clearly into it.” Seeing how the smile on his face only widened, I placed my hands on his knees and used them to balance myself to stand up. The pain in my knees made me stumble and grab the side of the table halfway through getting up; after that short pause, I stood up fully and didn’t look back at him. “When you feel like you can walk, get out.” I huffed bitterly while pulling up the straps of my dress while walking towards the stairs; the moment I held the banister to slide my hands up it for support while walking, Hanma called out my name, something he rarely did. It made me look over my shoulder at him, “Glad to know you like it rough, I’m nothing if not here to improve our beautiful, blooming, relationship.” He said sarcastically as he looked at me upside down from his head hanging over the back of the couch.

With a grimace, I eyed him up and down before rolling my eyes and lifting the hem of my dress to not stumble on my way up. I didn’t think it’d be worth it to start bantering now, even if he looked more than adorable with his cute smile, playfulness adorning his face as he said so. From that mere thought I knew I had to step away from him and be alone, because the longer I stayed with him, the longer the poison that his personality was would become potent. Time alone was my antidote… I hoped…

Once I had reached my bedroom and had taken all that I needed, I took a short detour by the full-length mirror by my bed—just like that very first night I had met him, I took in the damage. Unlike that first night, I was not bruised, and none of the wounds I had were his. Putting everything on my bed, I took off my dress and saw the fresh bruises on my hips left by Shusuke being a brute when he tried to have his way with me. My skin still had different colored spots around the stomach from when Ran had taken it in his own hands to ‘discipline’ me in his own way. Since it was a few days old, it had lost that deep color and was a lot lighter, but pressing a finger on it still hurt, even as I moved. It was easy to ignore, though, and dwelling on it was not going to help at all.

I looked at my battered body a bit too long, at least long enough to start thinking of how much worse it could have been—which was a relatively alright thought to have, if it was not followed by the unsaid question, what would Hanma do if he knew I had all those bruises? Would he find Ran and set things straight or would he be mad and say he’s the only one allowed to hurt me, bruise me? That thought barely stayed in my mind a second before I hurriedly took my stuff and went to the bathroom. The first thing I did was to start drawing a bath while I took off the rest of my clothes and removed whatever makeup I had on my face. I was surprised by how much cotton I needed to take it all off. Rai truly thought she was painting the Mona Lisa with all the mascara she put on my lashes.

When the bath water was scalding enough, I slowly got in and was reminded rather quickly of the predicament my leg was in when the soap touched it. A loud yelp escaped my lips as I sat on the side of the bath and looked down at my shin; many times throughout the night I remembered I was still wounded, but every time it slipped my mind from all the things happening. Now that I was alone, I could finally take care of it.

There were a few little glass shards still nested in my skin; all the alcohol and adrenaline made a great mirage for the constant throbbing pain in my shin that was now very present. From afar, it didn’t look like it was too deep in, so I tried to get it out with my finger. Just as I was about to do so, the door of the bathroom opened. My first instinct was to slip in the bath without even checking who it was and to draw the curtain enough to cover my whole body except for my face. Water splattered on the floor from how little care I had put into my actions, which didn’t matter much when I heard Hanma say, “Does bathing really require you yelling like that? I’m trying to sleep here, doll.”

“Wasn’t the door locked? Didn’t I also ask you to leave? Get out!” I said, my heart hammering against my ribcage while I waited for him to step out to be able to slam the door shut and place something, anything, in front of it so he wouldn’t come in. With an expression that clearly meant he thought I was stupid, Hanma quirked a brow. “I picked the lock, a door’s not gonna stop me from getting to my girl,” He started humorously. I saw his eyes flicker to the curtain, as if he tried to get a glimpse of my body, which made my grip tighten on the fabric. With a short nod of his chin, Hanma approached, “Why did you scream?” He still had his shirt open, torn and bloody. All that changed was that he had taken his shoes off and as he stepped closer, his socks dampened from the water that had splattered out of the bath. Meeting his gaze made it so I couldn’t lie to him, at this very moment he was like a guard dog more than a maniac who found amusement in beating the shit out of a cop in a dark alley.

Sighing, I rested my chin on the edge of the bath along with my elbows to shrug, “Why did you come running in?” He did not have time to waste, of course he didn’t. When he was the one fucking around, it was fine, but when I was, he did not like it one bit. In a few measured moves, he was now right next to me with only the bath separating us—he placed a hand on my arm and opened the curtain wide before leaning over and looking in the water. I was quick to press myself against the tub in a desperate attempt to cover myself, “Get out!” I reached for the curtain, but he got it out of my reach quickly before rolling up his sleeves and kneeling by the bath. I placed my hand on his head to push him back when I saw the gauze on his stomach tainted red and refrained from doing so. It gave him the opportunity to grab my arm and force me to the center of the bath. “Let go of me now.” I said in a less distressed manner, hoping the change of tone would show how serious I was.

All it did was bring his attention back to my face instead of the rest of my body, “It’s not something I haven’t seen before, don’t ya remember that cute moment we had on your balcony?” He said mockingly before plunging his hand in the water while still holding my arm to grab my thigh. I raised my knee to try to kick him, but he pushed it back down. “Your mouth was around my cock minutes ago, don’t act proper now, yeah?” His statement shut me up but didn’t cut off the fighting spirit—with one strong pull, I freed my arm from his hold, hitting my elbow against the tub in the process and bringing my hand to hold it as I hissed. “Are you done yet? Or are you gonna keep fighting me off for longer? Cause I’m not gonna lie, I’m this close to knocking you out.” He said in a dead serious tone with his eyes boring into mine like I was one of his victims, which hopefully I was not about to become.

“Depends, will you let me go?” I replied rapidly.

“Depends, can you stand up and keep your mouth shut?” With that he patted his shoulders to tell me I could balance on him. His hand hesitantly let go of my thigh but stayed in the water just in case. If my body wasn’t burning because of the water—which I saw had made Hanma’s hand turn redder than it usually was—it was burning in embarrassment. Tearing my gaze from his, I struggled to turn around in the bath and stood up so my back was facing him. I still covered myself the best I could with my arms and waited for him to say something. At first I heard him let out a short laugh, it made my cheeks heat up more than they already were, then I felt a stinging pain on my ass. “God, I’ve wanted to do that for so long—'' He started in pure elation. Cutting him off, I slammed a hand on the wall and looked over my shoulder, “You’re done! Get out, I don’t know what you want, but—” His face was back to that arrogant one I knew, he was not going to move anytime soon and he said so himself. “Turn around. How can I inspect the goods if you’re not being cooperative?” He asked in a matter-of-fact way. Without much time to answer, he spoke again, “Shit, you were more helpful on your knees, maybe back then you would have let me fuck you,” I felt a handon my hip, “I’m sure if I hadn’t got shot, you would have woken me up by riding my dick, at least I would have—” I turned around so fast I hadn’t realized what I had done, the reddening skin on his cheek the only tell of my instinctive reaction at his crude words.

Even if a smile was slowly building on his lips, it wasn’t a happy one. I could hardly tell if it was amusement or anger, and by the grip on my hips of his two hands, I was leaning towards the latter. “Don’t think of me as this shallow, if I wanted your dick so bad I know how easy it would have been to get it. I stood by your side not for your fucking dick, nor your sour personality but because I—” I forced myself to shut my mouth when his face turned deadpan and his eyes locked on mine, clearly waiting for me to finish that sentence and annoyed at the words I had spoken. My eyes flickered to each of his many times, not knowing where to settle; I was uncomfortable under his insistent gaze and awaiting his next words with apprehension. I had forgotten to cover myself back after slapping him, but he didn’t even let out a single flirtatious remark, instead his eyes ogled my body with almost disinterest.

Guilt riddled my mind quickly; in the hopes of having him talk again, I placed one hand on his shoulder and the other very delicately on his reddening cheek. He didn’t flinch, he didn’t move, he did not react at all, all he did was take in my body. “I didn’t mean—” “You never mean shit, the most honest you’ve been was in that alley.” I was surprised once again by his words, he did not seem the type to get hurt. Then again, which part of my words had hurt him? Not wanting his dick? That had been a lie, of course, but it was true I wouldn’t have gone that far if he was passed out. The cold demeanor he displayed was a stark contrast to his actions as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his face to my stomach. “When you let me beat up that guy—you were enjoying it too, right?” He asked, insanity dripping from his words as his eyes were half-closed from his widening smile against my skin.

“You didn’t stop me, because you liked it, because it’s alright to hit someone if I do it for you, is that it?” He asked with pursed lips, making fun of me and my choice of actions—or lack thereof. I was past the shyness of him seeing me naked, right now I was too caught up in the direction he was going in, so I listened intently. “Isn’t that fucked up? I hope you at least got turned on, I was giving a whole show out there.” I don’t remember what I felt in that alley, all I remember was that, like he said, I enjoyed seeing him like that. There was something intriguing about knowing I was safe even as he unleashed so much strength on someone to the point of almost killing them. Maybe, was the answer I thought I had whispered.

He was capable of terrible things, I had seen them first-handed.

Assault, torture, manipulation, blackmail, murder.

All of which used to stop me from feeling anything for him, from seeing him as he was right now. As his hands trailed down my body while he stared at my bruised stomach, something close to worry clouded his gaze before stopping his hands at my calves and frowning. I moved my leg to try to get it out of his way but quickly stopped when his hand moved to the back of my leg and kept me there. I had to hold onto his shoulders for balance. “And how did that happen?” He started through gritted teeth, “Maybe I should tell that Haitani fucker to stop damaging what’s mine—” I interrupted him with a dry scoff, finding it unbelievable to hear him be possessive. “I accidentally dropped the tray of shots and forgot about the whole shit, I guess I had other things in mind.” Our eyes met, “Like taking care of the cops, or of your gunshot wound, you know, trying to keep you alive and all that.” His face was unreadable, it was making me self-conscious. Now that everything was calming down and there was no heat of the argument to fuel the mood, I was becoming more aware of my nudity.

Suddenly, he grinned manically, “And you did such a good job, is that what you want to hear?” His hands trailed up from my legs to my waist, water dripping from his arms as they surfaced from the bath and warmed me up for a few seconds, “Do you like knowing you’re useful? Do you want to be used? Is that what you want?” He said while moving his big hands to the back of my thighs, right under my ass, while placing his chin on my stomach and looking at me. There was no helping the throbbing between my legs, he was getting to me and it was not helpful at all; all I wanted was to bathe, treat my wound and sleep. Even if deep down I wanted him, more than anything, the words left my mouth faster than I could think them. “Let me bathe and go to sleep. We’re both still drunk, I don’t think any of us are thinking straight.” Meaning I knew we’d both regret it, or would we? I don’t know what he was doing, why he wasn’t leaving, nor what he wanted but if he kept looking at me like that, even with how vulgar he was, I might do something I’ll regret.

His eyes searched mine for something while his hands slid on my back, bringing me closer to him. If I didn’t know him, I would say he was hugging me, but was he one for affection? I doubted it. “What are you thinking about that makes you say that?” He left a kiss on my stomach with that widening grin of his, then left another one lower, “Because I couldn’t be more sober right now, babe.” His eyes were half-hooded as he lowered his head between my legs, I saw him smile wickedly as he pressed another kiss. It seemed I had more self-restraint than I thought because I pushed his head away and freed myself from his hands before sitting back in the burning water. A hiss escaped my lips at the difference in temperature but I stayed there, my knees pulled to my chest. “I need to get cleaned up, now that you know I’m fine you can—” “Leave, yeah, yeah, I get it. But then again, I could use a bath too.” He said while standing up and taking his shirt off. I knew he was doing it on purpose by the way he glanced at me from the corner of his eyes, a smirk adorning his features.

“Shuji, please, can you leave me be for 20 minutes? Stay at my place, do whatever you want but I need some time alone, I—” I closed my mouth a moment to not speak too fast, to take a few seconds to compose myself. I had spent so much time in his presence, even if for most of it he had been passed out, that I was starting to consider letting him join me. Fortunately, I was still in a right state of mind, I knew it was a bad idea—not that that sane state of mind was present moments ago when I was sucking him off. At the thought, I glanced at his crotch then looked back ahead of me at the wall as I wrapped my arms around my legs, “It’s a simple favor, really. Just 20 minutes for me, and me alone.” I was pleading, and he liked it more than he should have. I knew he had liked that weak tone when his smile faltered before covering it as he grabbed his shirt from the ground.

I thought I had won, that I was going to have my pride, or what was left of it, and my free time. But I was wrong, once again. On his way out, he looked over his shoulder and chuckled, “And here I thought you’d never ask a favor of me. Funny how far we’ve come, huh?” I was sure I heard him mumble to himself something about begging, but I couldn’t care less. Now that he was gone, I used the precious time of his absence to get cleaned up and enjoy the little time I had on my own to relax.

That is if one could relax when bloody thoughts and ideas plague one’s mind. If it wasn’t for the sound of the TV playing loudly downstairs, I would have gone spiraling in dark thoughts again.

If it wasn’t… for the TV playing loudly—“It’s three in the morning, what is he doing?” That was enough to get me out of the bath and unplugging the cap, before getting dressed in a hurry. I had taken out the glass shards with my fingers in the bath without caring much and let the soap clean it up; I had planned on cleaning the wound properly afterwards, but clearly I had other things to do. When I slammed the door shut and was about to go downstairs to tell Hanma off, there wasn’t any more sound coming from the living-room.

Only quiet welcomed me in the corridor.

I stood there a moment, surrounded by darkness, ears wide open for any sound but there was nothing.

I waited a few more moments and when there was still no sound, I retreated back to my room. “I need sleep…” I mumbled as I turned on my bed lamp, almost pushing off the bedside table when a voice rang close to my ear, “Then get to bed, but first we should play doctor. I treat your stupid glass scratch and you patch me up, sounds good?” The voice said cockily. Before even turning around, I took a deep breath—this is fine, I can handle him just a bit longer—he wasn't wrong by saying he needed patching up. I had seen in the bathroom how red the gauze had become.

"Fine, I'll go get everything." I did not have time to step away because Hanma was holding my forearm, stopping me from leaving. "Got everything right here, doll. Sit down and don't complain,” He grabbed my ankle without much care and placed my foot in his lap before continuing while rummaging through the kit, “Not that you should complain, we both know you like the pain.” He said as he pressed the cotton on my wound, his eyes staring right back at mine while I hissed at the stinging pain. I couldn’t help but glance at how bruised his knuckles were; I didn’t take care of them, having forgotten, but they seemed clean so I assumed he had done it himself.

“Why would you assume that?” I gritted through my teeth. I had a hard time keeping my eyes open from how comfortable my bed was, even if I was only sitting on it for now, but if he was there I couldn’t let my guard down completely—so I stayed aware. Hanma’s gaze never left mine as he took the tweezers from the kit and smiled softly, “Didn’t say no.” He shrugged, his eyelids drooping just like mine were. All his energy seemed to be gone, all that spark he had had disappeared but he was still trying to keep up appearances. I was too tired to give him an answer and instead a pained grunt escaped my lips when I felt the metallic tool dig in my skin to pull out a small shard of glass. “You do a shitty work, hopefully you did a better job at patching me up.” He said mockingly while brushing his thumb over the wound on my shin. When he was convinced, he wiped it clean and carefully wrapped it up before lifting my leg a bit higher.

I wanted to tell him to stop fucking around and to let it go, but when he placed a kiss on my foot, then on my knee, I pulled my leg free by pushing his arm off and cursing him under my breath. I instantly regretted it, after all he hadn’t done anything bad. If anything, he had been sweet, even if just for a second. “I’m sorry,” I started without looking at him then pointed for him to lay down, “I’m just tired, let’s get this over with.” I sighed, unsure if he had heard me from how low my voice was. There was nothing between us, I couldn’t feel the tension that usually was because we were both on the verge of passing out. And my mind was too busy overthinking everything that had happened.

Part of me wanted to banter with the man, but I had no energy. The warm shower seemed to have been the final straw and now I was battling exhaustion as I carefully took off the gauze from Hanma’s wound. “Doesn’t look half bad, maybe we should add one more stitch, right…” He lifted himself a bit from the bed to grab all that I had left in the kit in my panicked state; his hands weren’t shaking like mine had been and he managed quite easily to do all that I struggled to do last time. Worry was probably painted on my face as I waited with a fresh gauze in hand and watched him contort himself to poke the needle in his own skin, “There.” He said through measured breaths, clearly pained. I grimaced at the sight and placed my hand under his side when a few droplets of blood trickled down, almost falling on my sheets. “I’d have done it, you could have asked. Come on, let me—” “Done!” He said while grabbing the small pair of scissors and handing me the thread and needle then pointing at the towel behind me.

Following his instructions, I wiped my hands then his wound before handing the towel to him. I couldn’t believe he was alive and breathing, nor how easy he had been to recover. Clearly he was not in the best shape, he had barely regained color to his face but seeing him content and wearing that smirk of his was enough to relieve some of my worry. Seeing the sewed-shut wound, I was hit by a flashback of hours ago when I was hurriedly trying to keep him alive. My hands started shaking again, but I pressed the gauze against his skin before he could see it. “I..” Thought you were going to die and oddly, the thought made me sad. I hate it. “I’m so tired…” of the danger you bring, the pain you make me go through, the pain you go through yourself. I made sure it was holding on properly then closed the kit and leaned over the bed to put it under it.

As I sat back on the bed, Hanma was now also sitting and I felt his hands take mine. I had yet to meet his gaze, if I did I would do something I’d regret, or something regrettable. “You really…” did something to me, you changed me in a way I’m not sure I like, but have a hard time hating. When you’re there I feel like you could make me do the worst things, because they wouldn’t look that bad compared to all that you’ve done. “You really bring trouble, I don’t know if I can keep doing this...” His hands traveled up my arms and held my shoulders tight before going over them and placing themselves on my back as he held me close. He left one hand on my back while the other tilted my face against his chest, forcing me to look at him. My face heated up at the intimate action, something he hardly did, but I did not have the strength to complain. It felt warm, it felt comfortable, it felt right.

“Stop thinking, you’re gonna fuck yourself over.�� Hanma said in all seriousness, not an ounce of playfulness in his eyes at that very moment. Leaning back a second, he put his glasses on my nightstand and looked back at me with that same expression while I stared at him in awe, mouth agape from how beautiful he looked. I’d later blame it on exhaustion, even if I knew it was not solely to blame. “Empty that pretty head,” he tapped my temple, “or change that stupid mindset you have.” He said a bit more roughly. I would have usually fought back hard, but he was right that I would go down if I kept thinking like that. Guilt would eat me alive, even if he hadn’t put it like that, but it did not stop me from asking out loud, “How?”

“How am I supposed to forget I killed a man?” I started before looking at his chest as I got lost in thought and continued, “Or that I shot that poor woman… I was ready to have a cop corrupted for fun just because—” you rejected me. I couldn’t tell him that. Shuji shrugged as he let go of me but didn't move away, “I told you they deserved it, stop thinking about it and drown out your thoughts, I don’t know.” He said, almost annoyed. I needed to stop talking, exhaustion made me say things I wouldn’t have usually pondered out loud, even less with Hanma by my side. He was not being the most helpful either. So I scoffed, “Easy for you to say, you thrive in all of this—” “You could too, if you let go of that goodness you’re still convinced you have.” Even if he had said so almost in disinterest, boredom even, I saw the way he was looking at me. That enticing gaze of his that even when filled with disdain didn't make me leave or run away. I didn't care if he was mad, because at least he wasn't boring. I didn't want him to fold.

But that didn't matter. No matter what he said, I was now starting to think more and more of all that had happened tonight; what goodness remained after all I had done? Not only did I try to corrupt a cop, but my actions had made Shiho and Sanzu meet, a cop was now in the hospital because of me—Hanma had gotten shot.

My eyes that had long since focused on the pattern of my sheets were now staring right back at golden orbs that slowly disappeared behind closed lids—a slow kiss, that's what was happening.

A slow kiss that made my chest clench and my hands roam to his shoulders as I kissed back, all thoughts in my mind gone with the exception of how nice it felt to feel him alive. I pushed him onto the bed without thinking, only breaking the kiss to breathe before having him roll me over to be on top. His expression fell from excited to confused quickly when he pulled back and saw my face, "Are you really crying from a kiss?" He asked mockingly, his words less articulate from tiredness. "From exhaustion, just exhaustion. I'm tired, not desperate." I mumbled before wiping the tears, pushing him off me and turning around with an arm under my pillow while I struggled to slide under the blanket. Once I managed to do so, I ignored Hanma completely. Whatever happened seconds ago needed to be forgotten.

I don't know why he had kissed. Nor why I kissed back.

I don't know why I cried either, but it wouldn't happen again. All that happened tonight was going to be shoved in the depths of my mind, buried.

It couldn't be hard to do so since he'd disappear once again, without giving any news. Or at least that's what I thought. But the weight left the bed, the light turned off then I felt the sheets lift and the weight returned.

A hand slithered under my shirt and on my stomach while his chest was pressed against my back. My hair rose on my arms, I hesitated putting my hand on his but even dazed in sleepiness I didn't dare—but neither did I move his hand, no… I enjoyed it. It was always surprising to know he could be gentle even amidst all this violence that he seemed so keen on letting out. And if he had some soft bone to him, maybe he wasn’t so bad? My hand slid under the cover. After all, he hadn't done anything to hurt me except for pleasure, when we had been on the couch and he had bit me, something I could see myself begging for more. I hesitated once plunged in the warmth of our bodies pressed against one another to bring my hand to his; however, that hesitation didn’t last long when my cold hand met his on my stomach as I awkwardly threaded my fingers with his without saying anything. I felt him chuckle, the rumble of his laugh sending shivers down my spine when he breathed down my neck before moving a bit higher on the bed to not have his feet dangle off the end.

"I knew you liked me, glad you’re finally being honest.” He whispered as he rested his chin on the top of my head on the pillows.

Answering him would only dig my grave deeper, I was fully aware of that. But faking slumber was not such a great idea after having just moved to hold his hand, he commented on it, “We’ll blame it on you being tired, right? It’s easier like that, for you of course, if it were me I’d already be flaunting you like a prize.” He brought our hands under the elastic of my pants but stopped simply at the warmth underneath. “Hard earned prize.”

He was trying to rile me up but it had the opposite effect, it was soothing to have him play with me like that. To have him flirt and touch me—it made me sigh in ease. His hand brought me closer, right against him with no space between us, I held back a gasp at the sudden movement but listened with my hand gripping his. “Tomorrow you’ll be sober and rested, we’ll see what your excuse is then.” He said mockingly before pressing a kiss on the back of my head and getting comfortable by moving a leg between mine.

He was right, I had been giving into him a lot more tonight simply because I knew I could blame it on the alcohol, and later the exhaustion.

But how will I fare in the morning?

When those feelings I’d been repressing are not gone, but afloat.

When I’ll want to be closer to him even if I know it’s wrong.

When I’ll feel the need to pull him into a kiss to help drown those thoughts he so easily got rid of while I’ve barely been able to keep them at bay.

We’ll see then… what my excuse will be.

[Part 12]

#Hanma #hanma x reader #hanma tokyo revengers #hanma shuji x reader #hanma shuji #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyorev #tokyorev x reader #deranged love #writing #fanfiction #smut #ao3 #physicalturian #ao3 physicalturian

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bellasgreensweater · 3 years

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✨Why I Think Bella Swan Is On The Autism Spectrum ✨

In this post I’m going to talk about why I personally believe that Bella Swan is autistic. As an autistic person myself, I really relate to Bella and I see a lot of autistic traits in her.

Disclaimer: This is just a headcanon- I don’t think Stephenie Meyer intentionally wrote Bella as autistic, and she or the movie producers never confirmed it, so I’m not saying to everyone that she is CONFIRMED to be autistic and that every one has to see her that way, I’m just saying that I personally think she is, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Autistic people hardly have any representation in the media, and with the representation that we do have, it is almost always stereotypical, inaccurate and offensive. You do not have to agree with me on this, but just please be respectful in the comments and don’t hate :)

Ok let’s go:

1. She always felt different from everyone/she felt like nobody truly understood her and that she never really understood anyone either: this is what basically all autistic people feel, myself included. Feeling like nobody understands the way your brain works and the way you see the world. (And this is true, because autistic people do see the world differently than non- autistic people and autistic peoples brains are wired differently from non- autistic brains). Bella mentions this multiple times in the books and movies, at one point in the first book in the car with Edward, she tells him that she thinks he can’t read her mind because they’re a probably a glitch in her brain and that it’s not like other people’s. There is also this quote from the 1st chapter of twilight which sums up how she feels: “ Facing my pallid reflection in the mirror, I was forced to admit that I was lying to myself. It wasn’t just physically that I’d never fit in. And if I couldn’t find a niche in a school with three thousand people, what were my chances here? I didn’t relate well to people my age. Maybe the truth was that I didn’t relate well to people, period. Even my mother, who I was closer to than anyone else on the planet, was never in harmony with me, never on exactly the same page. Sometimes I wondered if I was seeing the same things through my eyes that the rest of the world was seeing through theirs. Maybe there was a glitch in my brain”.

2. Her motor skills: She’s constantly tripping over her own feet, has bad balance, doesn’t realize that she’s walking into things, constantly dropping things ect, a common thing for autistic people is to have poor motor skills and find it hard to navigate their body.

Another disclaimer about autism: not ever autistic person is the exact same, every autistic person expresses their autism in a slightly different way, for example, some autistic people are overly sensitive to sound, and some are under-sensitive to it, these are just the specific things I’ve noticed for Bella in this post, it’s not supposed to be a generalization of autism in any way! :)

3. Social disinterest and difficultly: all throughout her childhood and her time in forks, she wasn’t very interested in making friends or hanging out or going to parties, and she found that she could never make friends with someone easily, she just never fully clicked with someone. She did have some very nice friends in forks, however she never related to them too well or was very attached to them.

4. Dresses for comfort and not fashion: Bella typically dresses in what feels most comfortable for her, not what is the most fashionable thing, this is a common thing with autism. A lot of autistic people like myself are quite sensitive to clothing and fabric and will not tolerate uncomfortable clothing.

5. Limited interests/special interests: Bella doesn��t really have many interests, but the ones she does have, she’s very passionate about. A special interest is an autism-specific term used to describe interests and hobbies that autistic people have that are very important to them. They help regulate emotions, calm people down, provide escapism ect. Autistic people can hyper fixate on these interests for hours and hours and not get bored, they can get so engrossed that they forget to do basic tasks to take care of themselves like drinking or going to the bathroom. These interests can last for years, sometimes a lifetime and they are very important to autistics. Bella swans special interests would be reading, wuthering heights, and vampires. Bella says in midnight sun that she has loved reading all her life and it is one of the few things that bring her intense joy. She said she could read for hours at a time and would try to sneak books into her lessons and read any chance she could get. Bella says that her favorite book is wuthering heights and she has read it so many times that it is beaten up beyond repair and the spine is so cracked that the book lays flat. This would clearly be her special interest. Her other special interest is clearly vampires.

6. Burnouts and meltdowns when Edward leaves: when Edward left in new moon, Bella obviously fell into a huge depression, but I also think she fell into an autistic burnout (if you don’t know what that is pls research or ask me cause this post is already too goddamn long). And in eclipse, when Edward leaves to go home in the afternoon or to go hunting, she can barely focus without him and gets very anxious (this is obviously because she loves him and is literally obsessed with him lol, but I also think it could be a meltdown from separation anxiety and also a change in routine (a lot of autistics get very upset when their usual routine is disrupted or changed))

7. Sensitive to sounds: In the book, often Bella cannot concentrate or fall asleep because of little sounds like the rain, sometimes it takes ages for her to sleep because the rain or tapping is too distracting. (This is a common autistic struggle).

8. Stims & facial twitches & stuttering: in the movie, she is constantly stuttering over her words, and her face and body twitches a lot. She also stims a lot in the book by playing with her hair or sleeves or the zip of her jacket, or her hands or edwards hands. She also covers some of her face with her hair, this could be to do with sensory overload, seeing too much in her field of vision may be overwhelming for her, like a lot of autistics.

9. Trouble expressing feelings/ thoughts: bella struggles a lot sometimes with communication and telling people how she feels. You can see this in her relationship with Charlie. They both love eachother very much but they never say it and when they do it comes out very awkward and sometimes they use the wrong words. You can also see this when she is hesitant to tell Edward in eclipse when she doesn’t want him to leave for the fight, it takes her ages to work up to telling someone how she feels. She also tends to be quite private. This is common for some autistics to feel.

10. Sensory experiences: bella loves the sun and heat, she says that she loves feeling the sun seep into her skin- a lot of autistics feel the sensory world very strongly and love certain sensations and detest others. When Bella moves to forks, she hates the sudden change in weather and gets anxious and upset at the feel of the cold, and the rain against her skin. This links back to my other point where I was talking about how autistics fear sudden changes in routine. Bella is very relieved when there’s a sunny day in forks and goes and sits outside, savouring the weather which reminds her of home.

11. Not too concerned with how she looks: obviously not every autistic person is like this, but quite a few autistics don’t really focus on how they look/present and what they wear. They don’t really know about the social norms and what other people wear so they do what they want. This is something I often see in Bella in the books especially.

12. More quiet/ reserved and socially withdrawn and awkward: this is basically self explanatory. Bella is very well known for this. I touch a bit more on this in point 3.

If you made it this far then thank you so much! This took a long ass time to write and I’ve been thinking of making this post for months. There are more things that make me headcanon her as autistic, but these are just from the top of my head. When I re-read the series (for like the 100th time lol) later this year, I’ll annotate the book so that I can update this post in the future with more supporting this).

Again this is just my opinion and my personal headcanon, it is not factual (but I’d obviously want it to be canon) so please no hate :)

If you have any more things to add on then please do!! I’d love to hear your thoughts!

#twilight #twilight saga #bellaswan #twilightrenaissance #edwardcullen #bellaswanautistic #autism #autismawareness #actuallyautistic #autistic #neurodivergent #new moon #eclipse #breaking dawn #midnight sun #smeyer

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dialovers-translations · 3 years

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DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE BLOOD Vol.2: Mukami Kou [Track 1+2]

Original title: 目隠しされて & 無神コウ

Source: Diabolik Lovers More, Blood Vol. 2: Mukami Kou [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here (00:00~14:03)

Seiyuu: Kimura Ryouhei

Translator’s note: Continuing my marathon of MB CDs, everyone’s favorite idol Kou-kun is up next! I’m not a huge Kou fan myself, but he’s the main bias of my best friend so I’m always reminded of her when I translate his CDs. :p I used to find his voice quite annoying in the past, but in this CD, it didn’t bother me too much.

Track 1+2 ll Track 3+4 ll Track 5+6 ll Track 7+8 ll Track 9+10

→ LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 1: Blindfolded

“...Hey!”

*Creaaak*

“Hey, you...!”

*Creaaak*

“Are you listening?”

*Rustle rustle*

“Say, say...~”

*Rustle rustle*

[00:15] “...Ah! Seems like you finally woke up! Ahー Thank god! You just kept on snoozing forever, for a second I thought you’d never wake up again!”

You look around, seeming confused.

“Eh? You want to know where you are...? Eeh...~ How cruel! You don’t recall? ーー Everything that happened before getting here, I mean.”

You flinch.

“Ahaha~ Seems like you remembered, huh? Exactly. I kidnapped you here~”

You ask him why.

[00:52] “...’Why’? You’ve been asking an awful lot of questions this whole time, haven’t you? Oh well, I guess it can’t be helped. After all, you’re currently stuck in pitch-black darkness. I guess it makes sense to grow anxious or scared...Fufufu~ But rest assured.”

*Rustle*

“I’ll explain the whole situation step by step, okay? First and foremost, you’re currently blindfolded, lying on top of my - Mukami Kou-kun’sーー

*Rustle*

ーー bed, you see~”

*Rustle rustle*

[01:31] “As for why I kidnapped you. Hmー There’s a few, but one of them would be because you’re a special human. ...Fufu~ Do you know what that means? It basically implies that you’re in a different league from just any other regular human out there. You might not be aware of it yourself, but to our species, your existence stands out as extraordinary.”

*Rustle*

“Actually, you know that already, don’t you? You’re being kept as a pet over at the Sakamaki manor after all.”

You protest.

“...Eh? You’re not being ‘kept’? Ah, sorry, sorry! I didn’t quite put it right, did I? I take back my words. More accurately, you’re their...prey, aren’t you?”

He pins you down.

*Thud*

[02:23] “Fufu...Ahahaha~ No need to look so dissatisfied. It’s the truth, isn’t it? Besides, that’s the second reason which made me interested in you so I dare argue it’s a good thing?”

*Creaaak*

“Hm? You want to know who I am? Didn’t I name myself earlier? You’ve got such bad memory.”

You shake your head.

[02:51] “Ah...That’s not what you meant? Ahー Gotcha. Hm...Can I spill the beans already? But I feel like Ruki-kun will give me an earful if I do and he’s a pain to deal with when he’s upset. ...Let’s see...~ Fufu...~ I’ll tell you when I feel like it, okay?”

*Creaaak*

“Anyway, I gave you an answer to your questions so happy now? More importantly, I want to know about you first. All sorts of things...~”

*Rustle*

[03:32] “We actually managed to get a hold of their weakness, so just like Ruki-kun is always saying, I should get an idea of what I’m dealing with. So to start off, I better do a little investigating to find out what exactly makes you so special...~”

*Rustle rustle*

“Fufu~ You’re shaking...My touch is still foreign to you, isn’t it? No need to be so scared though. I’m a nice guy after all.”

He pulls you close.

[04:04] “Here, I’ll stroke your head for you. ...Good girl, good girl...So stop trembling, okay?”

*Rustle*

“Hm...You’re more alert than I thought. Fufu~ You’re letting them have their way with you despite that?”

You protest again.

[04:28] “How odd...Or perhaps you’re simply feigning this cautious attitude? In that case, you’re one hell of a naughty kitten~ They say that a skillful hunter gets a kick out of going after highly alert prey and honestly, I think I may understand where they’re coming from. It’s boring when something is too easy to get. ーー I can already get my hands on pretty much everything I want through my job after all.”

*Rustle*

“...Ah! But I don’t really like how I’m implying those guys are skilled by saying that. What do you think? As the one they’re hunting for, how do you feel about them?”

You remain quiet.

[05:17] “Heeey~ Aren’t you going to answer? Giving me the silent treatment is a little mean, don’t you think? Hmー I guess it’s a little difficult of a question to start off with. In that case, let me ask you an easy one. Ah, right! How about this? ーー Does it really feel good to have them suck your blood? You know, does it make you feel like you’ve ascended to another world? Like your body is just floating mid-air~”

*Rustle*

“...No answer once again? You really are dull, geez. What will get you to talk? Should I ask you about your favorite spots? Or perhaps you really don’t care about those guys at all?”

*Rustle*

[06:12] “Ahー I’m kind of fed up with this already. I’m out here trying my best to be nice and all I get in return is the cold shoulder. What are you playing at?”

You explain.

“...You can’t say those things to someone you’ve only just met? Heh~ I see...That makes sense now that you mention it. In that case, I suppose I have to introduce myself first.”

Track 2: Mukami Kou

He removes the blindfold.

*Rustle*

“Here. Take a cloooose look at my face. I removed your blindfold as well. See? I’m this close to you. Our lips could almost touch.”

You look straight at him.

[00:19] “...Fufu~ Can you see me? I guess I should say ‘nice to meet you’? I’m sorry for suddenly abducting you like that earlier~ However, it would have been difficult to take you away otherwise. I guess you could say it was the optimal timing? It really was my one chance.

...Say, are you the type who doesn’t watch television very often? Well, I guess you don’t strike me as a girl who would.”

You tilt your head to the side.

“Ah, no, I’m just talking to myself. I just figured that you’d probably recognize me if you watched TV every now and then. Not that it matters though.”

*Rustle*

[00:57] “But really, things went surprisingly well if I may say so myself. I’m sure those guys are frantically looking around for you right about now. After all, their precious little treat was snatched away from right underneath their nose, haha~! Fufu...Ahahaha! Just remembering those foolish expressions on their faces makes me laugh.”

*Rustle rustle*

“And I’m going to dig into their precious meal soon...Haah...Somehow just being this close to you makes my breath hitch.”

*Rustle*

“Is this what you’re capable of? Say, how come you’re this delicious?”

*Sniff sniff*

“...You smell amazing. What kind of scent is this? Hm...~”

Kou takes a deep breath.

[01:55] “I can’t get enough of it...I wonder where it’s coming from?”

*Sniff sniff*

“Not here...”

*Rustle*

“Then here maybe?”

*Sniff*

“I can’t quite tell through your clothes...”

*Rustle rustle*

“Why not take them off? It’s not like you need them, do you? ...Come on, hurry. The scent on the fabric is throwing me off.”

*Rustle*

“Come on, go ahead!”

You hesitate.

[02:29] “...Hurry up, will you? You might not guess it, but I’m not the most patient guy around. If you refuse to take them off yourself...You’re not going to have a good time.”

You refuse.

“...Tsk. Ahー What a fucking drag! Do you think I’m a joke or something? Do you have any idea what’ll happen if you oppose me like that?”

*Creaaak*

“Ugh...”

*Thud*

“I’ve gotten a little irritated you see. And once that happens, everything starts to annoy me. So that look you’re giving me...Ahaha...It pisses me off.”

*Rustle*

[03:12] “...I’m going to gauge out those eyes of yours, for real. I happen to kind of like that sorta stuff.”

You start taking off your clothes.

“...Huh? You’re gonna strip? Ahー So you’ve chosen to obey? How boring. I just had so many good ideas of things to do to you.”

*Rustle rustle*

“Anyway, if you’re just gonna bend to someone’s will in the end anyway, wouldn’t it be better to simply listen from the very start? Or did you want me to snap at you?”

You shake your head.

“Ah, I see! Right! You’re that kind of girl, aren’t you? You wanted me to lose my temper...so I’d treat you horribly, right? Fufu~ What an M-neko-chan you are~”

You seem confused by the nickname.

[04:03] “Hm? You want to know what ‘M-neko’ means? Isn’t that obvious? You’re more stupid than I thought. The ‘M’ is the same one as in ‘Do-M’, duh! Masochists, you know? You’re the type of girl who gets a kick out of the pain, aren’t you?”

*Creaaak*

“With that kind of personality, I can understand why you’d enjoy spending time with those guys. We’re capable of pleasing you in ways a regular human never could after all. Fufu...~ Is it true the pain is addictive?”

You try and explain.

[04:45] “When you put it like that, I almost want to turn into a human girl for one day and have a bunch of Vampires feast upon my blood~ Well, of course, I much prefer being the one doing the sucking. ...Aah, I was told this as well. Apparently having your blood sucked feels like strong currents of electricity running through your entire body, is that true? How nice~ I’m envious~”

You frown.

“That being said, I’d rather not get bitten myself. I’d love to get a taste of that pleasure, but I’d rather die than let some other Vampire pierce me with his fangs. Heh~ ...Ah, oh no, I’ve been rambling...”

*Rustle*

[05:39] “Come on, take those clothes off. I’ll figure out where this delicious scent is coming from first. You’re hiding it underneath that dull (1) outfit of yours, aren’t you? ーー Your precious secret~”

You start to take off the rest of your clothes.

“Fufu...Exactly~ You’ve got to show me your meek side like that, or else I might just poke your eyes out~”

You tell him you’re done.

[06:08] “...Eh? You took them off? Now don’t be ridiculous. When I say ‘strip’, I obviously meant everything, right? You move your jacket to the side a little and call that ‘taking off your clothes’? Heeh...You really must be making fun of me, aren’t you? ...Listen, I hate being ridiculed more than anything...There are many girls in this world who would kill to be in this kind of situation with me, you know? Yet here you are, living that dream...”

*Rustle*

“Ah, right! You’re just pretending to be embarrassed but you’re actually happy, aren’t you?”

*Rustle*

“Oh! Or perhaps...You want me to rip you apart? I would never resort to such violent actions though. I mean, there’s nothing fun about tearing apart someone who won’t even scream from the pain, is there? Fufu...~”

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) More specifically, he describes her clothes as lacking even the faintest hint of sexiness.

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #kou mukami #diabolik lovers more blood #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd

95 notes · View notes

acourtofsnakes · 3 years

Text

Mesh’la - Rogue, Chapter 18| The Mandalorian x Force Sensitive! Reader (f)

(I know the gif is Javi, but there aren’t exactly many Mando gifs that would fit this chapter.. I’ve also had this for a while so let me know if its yours and i’ll tag you♥︎)

Summary: After Din’s revelation, walls that have been crumbling for a while, finally break.

Warnings: 18+ Swearing, smut, cunnilingus/fingering(f receiving),unprotected sex, p in v sex, flufffffffff finally. Let me know if I forgot anything!

AN: I have nothing to say but… enjoy.

Word count: 7.6k +

Rogue Taglist: @snipskixandbeskar @weirdowithnobeardo @the-bottom-of-the-abyss @jackgrzs @sarahjkl82-blog @boomtownboy @goldielocks2004 @seninjakitey @what-iwish-you-knew @queenofthefaceless @rosiefridayrogersunday @greeneyedblondie44 @itsnottilly @welcometothepedroverse @xgoldenjenny @heyitsjaybird @mamacitapascal

Mando’a Translation: Mesh'la - beautiful

“I love you.”

Those three little words echoed around your mind, bouncing around the walls of your conscious and then travelling down to your heart where they curled up there, settled into the space that had been carved out for Din, long before you met him.

“You…” Your voice broke a little, so you cleared your throat and tried again, talking over the splash of the water that was no doubt going to turn cold any moment. “You love me…?”

Din was breathing heavily, the wet fabric of his clothes pulling over his chest and he nodded. “Yes. I love you.” His voice was still soft, but imploring you to understand him, to listen and stop saying such things about yourself. “I… I’ve loved you for a long time, sweetheart.”

Well.

His words rendered you… sort of speechless for a moment.

He loved you.

Din had loved you for “a long time”.

Just as you had loved him.

You blinked up at him, water rolling down your hair, making beads over your skin as steam floated about the small space. It probably wasn’t doing his helmet any good, but there was no way either of you could leave this moment. “I… I had no idea...”

Din laughed, it wasn’t cruel, it was more a sort of exhausted laugh, yet there was a level of love in it, “I know… You’re the most intelligent person I know, and you could talk your way out of anything... but when it comes to noticing what’s right in front of you…” His voice was a little teasing, “You are a little blind, princess.”

Despite the revelations and the shock – and elation - screaming through you, you did have to pout. “You can’t blame me… How was I supposed to know?”

Din leant against the wall, “Well, I know this…” He tapped his helmet, “Makes things a little difficult but…” He huffed a little, “I didn’t really know it myself at first. It wasn’t until people started to mention it… I realised that everything I’d been feeling...” Din seemed to stumble a little over his words again. “For weeks… I… I’ve just... needed to be close to you. After I sent you to Nevarro, I met Haran for the first time on Tatooine. He told me he knew who you were, that he was coming after you and I only had a week. I was… I felt something I haven’t felt in a long, long time. True fear. And when I got into that cantina… and I saw him sitting there with you…” Din shook his head, looking down. “I wanted to kill him. And then you started shouting at me…” He laughed a little, “You always have such a fire in you when you’re pissed at me… It’s like flying into the sun.”

You couldn’t help the soft laugh of your own, “I’d say I’m sorry but…”

He lifted his head, tilting it and you could feel his eyes on you through the visor, “Then I’d know that fall had done more damage than it already has.” The laughter visibly drained from his body, his voice, “I thought I’d lost you… You were…” He seemed to almost choke on the words, “You were dead. In my arms. Your heart wasn’t beating… You were just… gone.” His voice broke and he sucked in a breath. “My whole world stopped.”

The feeling of darkness, of those icy bands wrapping around you and filling your lungs washed over you, and you shuddered. You wouldn’t be forgetting the feeling of having the air crushed from your lungs for a long, long while.

You could only imagine what it was like for Din, having to pull you out. Having to coax your broken body into living again…

“I tried and tried, but… it just wouldn’t work. You were dead.” His voice was stricken, haunted and you had a feeling you might be waking up to Din’s nightmares soon too.

He sucked in a hitched gasp of his own, touching his helmet like he would run his fingers through his hair – his hands were shaking, almost violently and he curled them into a fist.

“All I could think was... how am I supposed to go on? I let you down, in the worst way possible. I let you slip away, I let him take you and hurt you and then you died... without... without seeing my face, without knowing what keeps me up at night, the things I so desperately want to say to you. That threaten to come out every time I see and... and I have to change the subject or leave because I look at you and I just...” He lifted his head again, watching you, his chest heaving, “Lose my mind. Lose everything I know. It all just fills with you. And then I don’t know which way is up or where to go that isn’t by your side. I want to be there, all the time. I want to hear the way you think, I want you to shout at me when I annoy you. I want to watch you play with the kids and get them to do things when they don’t listen to me. I want to see the world through your eyes, see the beauty in every single thing.”

You couldn’t speak, couldn’t do anything but let these words, this outpouring wash over you and listen to the way he’d been feeling for… months.

“And to know that you would have died without knowing that, without me being able to tell you just how much you mean to me, how much I need you in my life and I want to protect you. How you make me a better man and-” He made a little noise, like he was winded.

“Din.” You limped across to him, cupping the jaw of the helmet, “Din, breathe.” There were tears rolling down your cheeks, your mind reeling at his sweet, meaningful words, but he was going to send himself into some kind of attack in a minute. You slid your hands down to rest on top of his shoulders, feeling the broad strength beneath the fabric.

At your touch, even with the layers, he groaned like he was in pain. “Whenever you touch me… I feel like I’m burning. Like… electricity is searing through me. It makes me feel alive. I… Mandalorian’s don’t really… we don’t really experience touch.” He motioned loosely to his armour, being careful not to bump you – or move you away. “We don’t get to feel the breeze on our hair… or the sun on our skin. We don’t feel a casual touch or a hug or… anything.” He sounded a little hesitant, speaking such words that he would never, ever have previously said aloud before. His tone was a little jagged and stilted, like he was torn between keeping the anonymity of the Mandalorian’s and telling you everything.

“But… When I feel your touch, your skin… It’s like... I’m feeling everything all at once.” He lifted his hand, brushing wet, gloved fingers down your cheek, but the touch still ignited you, “That night I felt your hair... and when you had your nightmare… I thought I was going to die. From how you felt around me, the way you were so… ready… ” Another ragged hitch of breath.

You turned your head into his touch, goosebumps rising over your skin, “So, touch me again.”

Din’s fingers stilled, and you almost heard his heart thud, “I… what?”

You lifted your hand, brushing your fingertips over the edge of his gloves, “Touch me.” You looked up at him, heat coiling in your belly, your very soul, “Din, touch me. Please.” Desire and pleading coloured your voice, your expression. A wildness came over you, and you shed yourself of your torn top, leaving just the thin bandeau around your chest.

Din’s hands curled into fists as you took off your top and he looked at you, your lips parted, your cheeks flushed, desire burning through your eyes and darkening them.

“Close your eyes.” His voice was husky and rough, equally desperate for you.

Without a hesitation, you obeyed, squeezing shut your eyes, barely able to restrain yourself.

You heard the sound of leather on skin, two wet plops on the floor and you expected Din’s touch on your skin but… instead, you heard him pick up your top.

A soft ripping noise was heard over the water, and then you felt the sodden fabric against your closed eyes. He was tying it behind your head, like a blindfold. “Din, what are you…”

“Shhh, cyar'ika.” There were some sounds you couldn’t identify and then…

Then the sound of air hissing – a little bubbly -, and then something hard and metallic being set down on the floor, then the wet plop of his top.

Your heart stopped. Everything stopped.

Something hard.

And metallic.

Oh, Maker and all the stars above.

“Din…” You whispered his name this time, your heart suddenly pounding a frantic beat in your chest, your neck, your wrists. Heat flooded across your body, your skin tightening in anticipation and it was a little harder to breathe.

He’d taken off his helmet.

You heard footsteps, and then Din’s hands cupped your cheeks, big, a little rough and always so warm. “Princess…” He whispered it back, and you had the sense of him coming closer.

The first brush of his lips consumed you.

They were a little chilly, but plush and unimaginably soft. And there was a scratchiness on your lips…

Oh, by the Maker, he had a moustache… That did things to you. Things that resulted in heat and warmth between your legs.

Din moved those lips over your own, like butterfly wings, checking you were okay with this.

Like he wasn’t the one who had just removed his helmet for the first time, properly around you. Like you weren’t standing there with just a piece of torn cloth shielding your eyes. You could easily reach up and swipe it away and see his true face.

But you would never do such a thing.

Never even think of it.

And he knew that, which is why he trusted you so much.

It made your heart ache, in the best way.

But this soft kissing… it wasn’t enough.

You angled your head more into his, his rough hands still cupping your jaw and you kissed him with a little more pressure. Your hands reached up, fingertips brushing his bare shoulders and then you dropped them to his waist instead, and you grasped his hips, letting him know he could let go, that you needed him to let go as well.

Din made a little noise against your lips, and by the way he went still, you just knew it was with restraint. You could feel that tidal wave inside him, cresting and so close to crashing back down.

You wanted it. No… you needed to consume you both.

Needed him to consume you.

You pulled back mere millimetres, just enough to whisper, “Din… Let go…” You brushed your hands along the sodden fabric of his trousers, your thumbs brushing the bare skin of his hips.

That simple touch, that whisper of a caress on such previously untouched skin melted any restraint within him.

With a noise like a moan and growl all in one, he pulled you closer. His mouth came down on yours, kissing you with a sudden fierce intensity that seared through you.

It broke your own walls, and you curled your fingers into his belt, rising up on tiptoe and matching his frantic pace.

Within seconds, his tongue lightly traced your lips, and when you parted for him, he moaned low in the back of his throat, that proper taste of you nearly bringing him to his knees.

The press of his hot tongue against your own was a blessing, a curse, and a damnation all in one.

He tasted like… like cool water on a hot day, like fresh tea in the morning, like the best chocolate cake, all rolled into one and topped with his distinct, smokiness that clung to him.

Din’s arms snaked around your waist, sliding up your back, holding you into his body but it wasn’t close enough, not enough for how long this had been building between the two of you.

That intense heat never failed to take over, whether you were teasing each other, arguing, or doing delicious things like this.

It had been there from that very first moment on Sorgan.

You took the initiative, summoning the strength that had been building again and you pressed against him, pinning him to the wall just behind so you could lean your full body weight into him, so you could feel every inch of his body against yours.

It was heavenly, the feel of his bare skin, so new to you, against your own and the contact made your eyes roll back into your head a little bit.

He was solid, warm, and so familiar beneath your body, that every cell just cried out for more, no matter how close you were.

Din made a choked noise of his own, his entire body shaking with all the contact, a sensation he had never felt for years. It was like stepping into the sunlight for the first time, like sinking into hot water, or being electrocuted.

You felt him shaking against you, felt the ragged drag of his breath and you pulled back from his lips, “Din, if this is too much-“

He shook his head, chasing your kiss, his voice almost tortured, “No, don’t. Don’t stop, please. I… Just don’t stop.” He gasped a little, bringing his mouth back to yours.

You needed him, needed him in body, soul and mind and wanted to burn with him forever.

A torn sound of need escaped against his lips as you fought his tongue for dominance, tracing your tongue over his teeth.

Din groaned, his hands leaving their roaming over your back, just long enough to slide down over your ass and the backs of your thighs. He grasped them, bending his own knees and he picked you up, winding your legs around his waist.

He brushed against your core, and your moans of unison echoed over the pounding of the water. He rocked his hips against yours, the friction pressing against your burning heat, the rub of every hard in of him. He needed you, as much as you needed him and you were prepared to ask him, beg him to take you right here in the ‘fresher, against the wall…

Except, it chose that moment to go absolutely, completely, ice cold.

You squealed, pulling away from Din and ducking your head into his shoulder, trying to hide from the icy spray that was now hitting mostly the back of your head and neck. “Fuck me, that’s cold!”

From somewhere above you, Din burst into a chuckle, “Hang on, princess.’ His voice was low and husky, and only heated you even further, the icy water having no effect in diminishing the fire.

He turned off the taps, and the sudden silence was almost as loud as the water had been.

He gingerly stepped from the wet floor, holding you against his body still and he fumbled with one hand before a towel was swathed around your body. “Let’s get you warmed up.”

I can think of way you can warm me up.

There was a soft snort, and you knew your face had given away that thought, even with the blindfold. You rested your head back against Din’s neck, allowing him to carry you back to your room, just relishing in the feeling of being held by him – in more ways than one.

He made his way expertly through the ship, his feet making wet squelches on the floor that had you giggling.

By the time the doors to your room opened, you were both laughing, cheeks flushed and hearts stumbling over each other.

Din set you down carefully, his hands on your upper arms and the laughter faded away into something much more intense and serious.

You could feel his eyes on you, dragging over your skin like he was taking in every single inch. His breathing was ragged, his touch searing through your skin and warming your very bones. It occurred to you that you knew this man, inside and out. You could tell the change in his mood from his breathing, the tenseness of his body or what his head tilts meant.

You hadn’t seen his face, or any of his skin and yet… you felt like you knew him deeper than that, deeper than just what was on the surface. You could locate him in a dark room, from the sound of his breathing alone.

And he knew you too.

He always had.

His warm, broad hands brushed up your arms, over your shoulders, tracing a path. “Are you okay?” The rough cadence of his voice told you that he was holding back, everything in him that was still threatening to come out. But he was making sure you wanted this, wanted to cross the wall that had been crumbling ever since that night you broke down.

One word from you, and he would haul that wall back up and it would be fine.

Your lips parted at his touch and his voice, desire and a need for him coiling in your belly. You wanted to be close to him, to feel his skin on yours, his touch, map his body blindly and just… Rise to the stars and never fall back down, wrapped in him and everything he had bought to your life. “Yes… I want this… Din, I want you-”

No sooner had you finished talking, Din made a noise low in his throat and then he was on you, his hands sliding up your neck to your jaw, framing it in his hands like you were something precious and rare, and then his warmed lips came down upon yours. They were soft at first, dancing against your own with an almost shyness. And then it changed, his tongue brushing over your lips and then slipping inside your lips when you granted him permission.

His tongue danced with your own, and just the brush of his facial hair and the taste of him could have brought you to your knees. You moaned low, arching your body into him so you were pressed against his tall, broad frame, the bare skin of his belly and the tickle of his happy trail only making you wetter.

As you battled for dominance in the kiss, Din walked you backwards, pulling from your mouth with a tug to your lip and then he was planting kisses along your jaw, trailing them to your ear where he sucked your earlobe gently, earning a breathy moan in return.

He pushed you gently toward the bed, but not before pressing soft kisses down your neck – and then tracing back up the line of your throat with his tongue.

You felt that stroke of his tongue everywhere, the wet heat of it searing a line straight down your spine and you cried out a little, hand flying up to the back of his head to grip his hair by instinct.

And you froze.

You hadn’t asked for permission to touch him – if it was even okay, if he wanted you to. “Din, I – I’m sorry.” Your voice was choked with need, your fingers loosening.

“No!” Din shook his head rapidly, “No, keep it there – I... Touch me. Please.” His voice was hoarse again, his words hot and desperate against your throat.

His repetition of his words from the ‘fresher assured you it was okay, and you wound your fingers back into his hair, curling the locks around your fingers as he mouthed over your skin, dragging his teeth, “Din, I need you...”

The edge of the thin cot hit the backs of your thighs, and he pressed a chaste kiss to your cheek, “I know, sweetheart...” He kissed underneath your chin, then the hollow of your throat, “I’ve needed you, for so, so long...” His lips trailed lower, ghosting over your collarbones where he paused for a second, tracing a hot, wet line along them with his tongue again, “I think since the moment you tried to kill me on Sorgan.” The trail of lips moved over your chest, then your left breast, on the fabric of your bandeau, “When you teased me every moment after…” His words resounded with your soft, breathy moan, and he moved to the right, “And on Nevarro…”

He groaned a little, slowly sinking lower and his hands came up to your sides, as he bit gently on the skin of your belly, “Those words that came out of your mouth on Nevarro… You were killing me, you were seeing right into my head and telling me my dreams, like you knew them.” His tongue darted out, tracing a circle around your belly button and a shudder ran through you.

You dropped your hands to his shoulders, needing more grip and balance. And there was more than enough. You knew his shoulders were broad, but fuck, actually holding them was a completely different story.

Stars, you were going to fall apart and all he was doing was kissing you.

“You have no idea how much I wanted to do those things, how long I’ve wanted to… but… Most of all, I wanted this. To be able to take my time, and explore,” He kissed underneath your belly button, his facial hair scratching gently on the sensitive skin, “Every…” his hands slid down to grasp the belt loops of your trousers, and the waistband of your underwear, “Single…” He slid them both down over your hips, exposing your bare skin to him, “Inch,” He dropped down to his knees as your trousers reached your ankles, and he helped you out of them, “Of your body first.” He sat back on his knees, his voice sounding hoarse and choked again. “Look at you…”

Through the thin fabric of the blindfold, you could just make out the silhouette of him on his knees in front of you, a faint outline of his broad shoulder, a fuzzy outline of curly hair.

Your knees were trembling in anticipation, in fact your whole body was trembling as he just… admired you.

On his knees, worshiping you for the warrior goddess he believed you were.

His fingertips danced up your calves, your knees, grasping the backs of your thighs and then you felt his nose against your skin, his hair tickle your lower belly and then, finally, the press of his lips on your wet heat, but too soft, too gentle.

A ragged gasp emerged from your throat, and you lifted your hand back to his hair, pushing him closer, “Din.” You didn’t care how pleading your voice was, but you needed more than soft kisses.

A low chuckle rumbled against your sensitive bundle of nerves, and he nudged his nose to them once more before his hands tightened on your thighs.

The first brush of his tongue elicited a cry of relief from your lips, echoing with Din’s appreciative half growl at your taste, at how wet you were for him. He went in after that, dragging his tongue through your folds in broad strokes, like he already couldn’t get enough of you. “Shit, you taste...” he groaned again, burying his face further between your thighs, his tongue probing your entrance before sliding back up between your folds again.

You already couldn’t breathe, the moan getting caught in your chest and resulting in a soft, high whine and you leant into his touch, arching your spine. Letting your head drop back, you could do nothing but feel the hot stroke of his tongue, licking every inch of you.

He tilted his head back just slightly for a better angle, circling your clit with the tip of his tongue and your legs shook again, aching as they held you up and trembling.

“Din, wait-” You reluctantly tugged his head back, then half collapsed back onto the bed, and Din followed you like a magnet. He remained on his knees at the edge of the bed, and hooked one of your legs over those sinful shoulders, allowing him a better angle, a deeper angle to devour you like he was starving.

He pressed his tongue flat against you, before sucking on your clit with an intensity that made the room spin. It was like he was pulling electricity through your veins, making every nerve stand to attention, wait for his command.

You dropped your back onto the bed, both hands fisting into his hair and your hips rocking upwards against his lips. There was an ache within you, you wanted to feel more of him, needed just a little more –

Like always, he read your mind, and mere seconds later, he was sinking two long fingers into you, curling them up exactly as he had that night. Exactly as he knew you liked.

“Fuck, Din-” You keened his name softly, hips moving to match the pace as he pumped his fingers in out, curling them up into that spot that he found so easily.

He heard every noise you made, every reaction of your body and adjusted his pace and pressure in response, tucking away your reactions so he would always remember what you liked the most.

His rhythm wasn’t perfectly balanced, but it altered according to you. He learned fast and made sure that every single action provided the best possible feeling for you.

And stars above did he do a good job.

That electricity and fire was curling tense in your lower belly, singing through every inch of your soul. You were so desperate for him, your body crying out for him so badly that he had taken you to that edge already. “You… Shit, keep going, just like that…”

Din switched pace so fast you didn’t register it at all. One minute, his lips were sucking at your clit, his fingers stroking you – and the next, his tongue was pushing inside you and his fingers were on your bundle of nerves instead, drawing rapid circles and figures of eight that made you fully arch up off the bed.

“Din!” You cried his name, your whole body crying his name actually. It just felt so good, so devastatingly good that you weren’t sure how you were supposed to not want to do this all the time.

Your back arched further, your fingers wound so tightly in his hair as you shamelessly rode your hips to his rhythm, chasing down your high that he was holding you above. You knew you must be hurting his head, but he didn’t seem to mind, if anything, it was spurring him on, knowing that you needed to hold onto something to try and contain the pleasure.

His hands shifted to your hips, not to hold you down, but to pull you in closer, so he could bury his tongue deeper inside you, his own moans and growls of pleasure vibrating through the soft flesh. His stubble and moustache scratched against your sensitive skin, and that in itself was herding your body closer and closer to the edge, dangling you over.

Words were beyond you, the hot press of his tongue inside your walls was something you could never forget, and as he curled his tongue upward, brushed against that spot and pressed his fingers down harder, light exploded across your eyes.

The heat of your pleasure seared through every inch of your body, taking over with a pleasant hum, rendering you almost helpless as his name fell from your lips again and again.

Din didn’t stop, working you through your orgasm with that same pace, until your hips stopped rocking, your fingers relaxed in his hair and you could see again.

“Fucking hell…” You mumbled the words, shivering as Din cleaned you up, soft gentle strokes with a husky chuckle.

He pressed kisses back up your body, allowing you to catch your breath but by the time he reached your lips, and you tasted yourself on his tongue, you were ready, needing him again.

And by the hard line of his trousers, you knew he must be too.

As soon as his lips touched yours, you kissed him with fierce intensity. Your hands roamed down his back, mapping over his scars and bruises, painting an image in your mind of the man you loved, bringing him to life in the darkness.

He groaned into your mouth as you slipped your hands between your bodies, feeling the tenseness of his stomach muscles, layered with a softness that showed his age – which you absolutely adored.

This man wasn’t some young, bumbling fool. He was mature, devoted, and you loved every single inch of him. And he had never been touched like this before.

Sure, he’d had sex – as you found out one slightly drunken night when you were asking each other questions – but you knew that it was just… a release. No touching, no armour off, maybe not even his gloves.

Who knows how long it had been since this man had been touched like this on his bare skin, with love and passion? You could easily guess it was the same amount of time as you – longer.

And… you were the first person.

The first person to feel him.

To lay your hands upon his skin and show him how truly magnificent he was.

Spurred by his gasps of pleasure and surprise, you roamed lower, over the happy trail and began palming him through his trousers and pressing your hand into the hard length of him.

Then, quickly, you slipped your hand inside his trousers, feeling the tickle of short, coarse hair and then you gently grasped him, fingers wrapping around his thick, swollen length.

He moaned roughly against your lips, sucking in a sharp breath and you pumped him a couple times and his hips jerked forward against your touch.

Your mouth watered at the feel of him, and you pressed your thighs together at the thought of him filling you, being buried inside you and coming undone…

You had never been more grateful for stopping in a town a few years ago and shelling out the obscene number of credits for getting a contraceptive implant in your arm.

It was something you didn’t really need to bother with worrying about, but sometimes, the lonely nights got to you – and you didn’t want to have to worry.

And now, you could almost get on your knees and thank the Maker for that stroke of luck, because now you would be able to feel him inside you, every ridge, every vein, every inch of him.

Din only moaned louder as you brushed your thumb over his head, catching the drop or precum there and he rapidly pulled away.

You had no time to worry if you’d stepped over a line, because you heard him working at his belt, the sound of metal catching like it wouldn’t release.

Din swore under his breath and you realised the fumbling was due to his fingers trembling, in anticipation and the result of what was about to happen.

Heart melting, you sat up, reaching out blindly and finding the belt yourself, “Let me…”

You managed to undo his belt, even with your eyes covered and pop the buttons on his waistband, all the while feeling Din’s belly rise and fall unevenly as he watched you.

It felt like hours, but maybe it was only seconds as you heard Din rid the rest of his clothes and climb back over you, one hand next to your head. His breathing was a staccato rhythm and matched your own as your entire body held tight and coiled like a live wire.

He lined himself up at your entrance, nudging the head of his cock against you and he swore again under his breath as he felt how wet you were for him again, soaked and swollen. “Shit… You... you really want me…” His voice was full of wonder and surprise.

He still couldn’t get over it, that he had this effect on someone. That he made you half mad with need for him and he could make someone, make you feel that way.

You wanted him, wanted whatever he could give you and you were happy with it. Lying there, teeth sunk into your lower lip, cheeks flushed and your body open and yielding to welcome him home.

It was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.

“Din…” Your whisper broke him from his reverie, and then he was pushing into you, his hand curling into a fist in the sheets next to his head as if to hold himself back from going any quicker.

He was thick, and you felt every inch as he slowly sunk into you.

You both moaned in unison as he bottomed out, and he paused for a second so you could adjust to him, a slight sharp sting there but it felt absolutely delightful.

You would feel this tomorrow, feel that you had finally been joined as one, finally broken down those walls.

A few seconds later, sheer delight coursed through you and you slipped your hand up to his wrist, curling your fingers around it, “Move... Maker, please, move-”

Din pulled out slowly, before jolting back into you with a force that felt like your very spine would dissolve into nothingness. He felt so good, so perfect inside you and if you had any doubt that soulmates existed, it was gone now. It was like you were made for each other, slotting into one another souls and lives perfectly.

He started a slow, building rhythm, dropping his head into your neck to suck at the skin, rocking his hips into yours, “You have no idea how good you feel, sweetheart.” His words were a tight whisper into your neck, and you could feel the tense, rigid line of the muscles in his wrists from his clenched fist. He was still holding back, still afraid to hurt you or push you too far.

You tilted your head into his hair, your words clear, if not a little high with need, “Let go. Din, stop holding back – please, you won’t hurt me. You won’t scare me.” Fuck, you needed this just as much as he did. You didn’t want slow and gentle. You didn’t want to keep dancing around each other. It had been too long, and you had wasted far too much time trying to hold back in front of the other.

He was still hesitating, still unsure so you took initiative, hooking one of your legs around his waist and pressing the heel of your foot into his lower back to further emphasise your point. The angle opened you deeper, made him sink a little further in so you clenched around him, tight.

Din choked a little into your neck, his resolve breaking and then he lifted his head, grabbing your knee for grip and then he really began to move.

He snapped his hips faster, every few thrusts slowing down to push all the way into you, to hit that spot he was so acquainted with until you shouted his name, a prayer and a plea in one. “Fuck, sweetheart – you look… so beautiful, so fucking beautiful-” He moaned the words, watching you arch under him, your hips moving in tandem to match his pace thrust for thrust.

He dropped his head back to your chest, kissing and sucking at your breasts and nipples, adding new sparks of pleasure along with the deep fire of him pounding in you.

It wasn’t rough, not at all but it was raw, intense, your bodies syncing and moving with each other in a new dance, saying everything that needed to make up for the past few months.

Time ticked past as you climbed higher and higher together, your moans echoing with Din’s jagged praise, your nails scratching lines down his back as he pushed up even deeper inside you, hitting places you didn’t even know you had.

You lost sense of where you ended and Din began and you felt the threads of your lives tighten around each other, saw the golden threads strengthen with each rock of your bodies, further and further as you both flew up and up, exploding into light and stardust.

Both of you fell apart at the same time, your walls clenching tight around him as he exploded into you, filling you with heat as his hips jerked and stuttered. You both rode each other’s orgasms out, drawing them on and on until you were both utterly spent.

Din pressed open kisses to your neck, his rough growl still echoing in your ear as he mumbled sweet nothings against your sticky skin, his body weight heavy and welcoming into yours, “You are so beautiful. So, so beautiful.” Again, and again, he whispered these endearing things, until he eased out of you, leaving behind an incredible sense of loss.

You lay there blissfully, catching your breath, feeling a delicious ache in your bones that had replaced the dull pain from the week’s ordeals – and drowning.

How surprising such a day ended like this.

Though you didn’t doubt you would be hearing about it later.

Din returned, flicking what sounded like a switch on the way back in.

You heard him kneel next to the bed, and then a warm damp cloth glide over your thighs as he cleaned you both up, before slotting himself against you in the thin bed, facing you this time.

You eased onto your side, curling up against the wall and his body, a sated smile on your lips, “I… That was…” You shook your head a little, unable to stop the huge grin on your lips.

Din laughed softly, a quiet, rough laugh that caressed over your body and settled up in your heart. “Amazing? I never knew you were such a cliché.” He tapped your nose playfully, and you could hear the grin on his lips.

You couldn’t help the slight ache to your heart, the longing of wanting to be able to see how beautiful that grin was, see it light up his face and spark in his eyes. But you would never ask, never even let the thought of asking pop into your head. You appreciated every single thing he gave you, and you were more than content with whatever he was willing to offer.

So, you shoved that thought away, and instead lifted your fingertips to his face.

“Uh, sweetheart, you’re about to poke my eye.”

Indeed, you felt the soft brush of his eyelashes on your fingertips like moths’ wings, and you mumbled a sorry before tracing the line of his eyebrows, up his temples and across the slight wrinkles on his forehead. “I told you to stop frowning.”

Din huffed softly at your teasing, his warm breath tickling your wrist.

You followed a path down his nose, feeling the gentle bump to it that added a new little unique feature to the blurry map in your mind. On your fingers went, over the hair lining his upper lip that you could still feel the ghost of between your thighs. “I like this…” You couldn’t stop the slight cheeky smile, your toes curling a little.

He chuckled again, his lilt to his voice letting you know that his smile had turned wicked, “Oh, I know. I tasted how much you liked it.” A warm lick of heat tickled in your lower back at his voice, and you shook your head adoringly.

Next up, his lips. Those soft, plump lips that should be made sinful. You ran the pads of your fingertips over them, then yelped softly as Din suddenly bit them, lightly and playfully. “Hey!”

“Sorry, sweetheart.” He didn’t sound sorry though, he still sounded like he was smiling, and you realised it was... the happiest you’d ever heard him.

You were about to say as much, when you heard him move and then suddenly, the blindfold was tugged off your head, disorientating you with the unexpectedness of it.

You gasped, squeezing your eyes shut rapidly, “Din! You haven’t-“

“Relax, cyar'ika. Open your eyes…”

“But-”

“Open them, princess… Trust me.”

Hesitantly, you opened your eyes the faintest slit, and you were met with… Darkness?

Opening them further, you realised why.

Din had turned the lights off on his way back in from getting the cloth. That’s what that sound was.

The entire room was swathed in darkness, only the faint glow of the control panel over his shoulder. It provided the barest silhouette of light, allowing you to see the slight outline of those ridiculous shoulders, and just about the edge of his ear.

“I couldn’t stand the thought of you keeping that blindfold on… I… I know this isn’t… me… but… That way… You’re not kept out entirely. I could never keep you out...” His voice was a little rough, and you could feel the rapid beat of his heart. This was the barest he’d ever been before you, the most exposed.

The amount of trust he was bestowing in you was almost heady. All it would take is one tiny malfunction in the ship, for the lights to come back on and then you’d see him.

You swallowed, your own heart pounding and you gazed in the general direction of his face, seeing him but... seeing none of his features at the same time. But still, to know he was right there, to feel his breath on your skin and see the tinies outline of him… it shattered you nearly.

“Thank you… I… Thank you. This… all of this... I can never thank you enough, Din. For everything you’ve ever done for me. For throwing away the bounty puck, for keeping me safe, for rescuing me… You’ve kept me alive far more than you know. You saw something in me and chose not to give up. And that’s more than a lot of people have every done for me, ever. When I’m with you… I feel safe. To be myself and… I feel like I could conquer anything, as long as you were there.”

You felt his hand snake to your waist, tracing slow, soothing circles on your skin.

“There’s so much I have to thank you for, so, so much I want to say to you. I’m… not always good with words… And it’ll take me time to… to open up fully but…” You shook your head slightly, all of the words tumbling over in your head, and you didn’t know where to start or if you would ever end. So, you settled for the four words that would be just enough for now. “I love you, Din.” Tears sprung to your eyes as you finally said those sweet words aloud, “I’ve loved you since I saw you in that alleyway, pretending you didn’t know me to keep me safe.”

Din’s breathing stuttered, catching over itself as he caught his breath. You felt him shudder a little as you mumbled the words, he had so longed to hear. He leant in, pressing his lips to yours in a slow, tender kiss that was so blissfully warm, so loving that it almost hurt. “You don’t ever need to explain yourself to me or feel like you need to tell me things. We’ll… we’ll work on it together, okay?”

Work on revealing yourselves to each other, bit by bit.

You smiled, breathlessly and teary against his lips, “Okay…”

It might have been hours later, but you were wrapped up in Din’s arms, your legs tangled, his arm over your waist and the other under your head – the bed was still extremely small.

You’d both drifted off to sleep now and then, in between the gentle kissing, the random conversations about Grogu and Duru’s mishaps or whether the best flavour of macarons was blue or pink.

But you were awake now, something floating around your head that was still there form a few days ago. Din was relaxed in front of you, his breathing even and deep, tickling your skin.

He had given up so much of himself to you already, even more so tonight allowing you to touch him, to see him in a way. And you loved him with every single fibre of your being, and... knew that he felt the same.

And… it was time.

You wanted to.

You wanted this.

Despite that, you still had a nervous writhing in your stomach, and it was a good fifteen minutes before you plucked up enough courage to speak, “Din? Are… you awake?”

His previously still fingers traced up the tattoo on your spine, “Mmm…” His voice was a rough hum, but you knew he was awake.

No more secrets. Starting now.

“I… I want to tell you something. About me… My past.” You bit your lip, fiddling with your necklace.

You heard Din nod against the pillow slightly, “Okay… Anything.”

Swallowing, you closed your eyes, like it might give you strength. “I want to tell you… why I have a bounty on my head. And why it’s so high.” Your words were a near whisper.

Din went very still around you, so quiet you might have thought he had gone back to sleep. Just before dread began to curl in your belly, the low rumble of his voice broke the silence. “I… I know what you’re going to tell me. And… I know.

At that, your eyes flew open, shock filtering though you, “What?

Maybe he misunderstood what you meant, or had heard another rumour…

Like always, he could read your mind, what you were thinking even in the darkness. “Sweetheart, I know.”

Previous| Next.

#soft sexy times for now because i have a smutty chapter written already that is utter filth #the mandalorian x force sensitive! reader #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x you #din djarin x force sensitive! reader #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #the mandalorian #din djarin #rogue

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twistedtranslations · 4 years

Text

Rook Hunt - The real culprit is... you!

You can unlock this story by getting Rook’s SSR Dorm uniform

Translation under the cut

Rook calls Epel “himeringo”, the Japanese word for plumleaf crabapple. I shortened it.

As we know already, Epel sometimes slips in his country accent, hence the weird wording.

Chapter 1

Courtyard

Vil: …8…9…10! Next up is the camel pose. Push your chest out and lean your upper body backward. Hold your ankles with your hands and keep that pose.

Everyone: Yes!

Epel: Ugh… Rook…

Rook: What is it, monsieur Crabapple?

Epel: I came to help with the shooting of the next work of the cinema studies club, but… Argh! Why are we doing yoga… Ugh?

Rook: Epel, you know, it's because we wanted you to take part in relaxing activities. If people relaxed, they will become more flexible mentally, and more active in discussions and communication. Yoga is the best exercise to improve your blood flow, metabolism and it soothes your mind. Moreso, your posture and physique will become much more beautiful! That's why Vil does yoga before his cinema studies activities.

Epel: I, I see… Is there…. An easier method?

Rook: By the way, Epel. You should bend your back more if you want to call it a camel pose. Okay, I will help you out and pull your arms back!

Epel: Eh, no, I'm fine- OUCH!!!!

Rook: Hahaha, monsieur Crabapple, you're body is quite stiff.

Savanaclaw Student A: Hey, look, it's the guys from the cinema studies. What a weird-looking pose is that! Man, I'd be way too embarrassed to wriggle like that in front of everyone.

Cinema studies Student A: Why are you guys butting in suddenly? This is just yoga…

Cinema studies Student B: Leave it be. Those muscle brains from Savanaclaw wouldn't understand our graceful bodybuilding.

Savanaclaw Student B: Huh? Are you picking a fight!

Rook: Oh please, there's no need to get angry! Why don't you join us? We can polish our beauty and deepen our friendship with yoga!

Savanaclaw Student A: Who'd do that! Beauty won't fill your belly. C'mon, let's go.

Epel: … friggin' irritatin'. Rook, I don't know how or why you could invite those guys…

Rook: I thought they might understand the benefits of yoga if they did it. How regrettable. Oh, me of all people! While I was talking, I forgot to help you out. My bad, let's continue.

Epel; Um, no, I don't need it… OUCH!!!!

Vil: Epel?

Epel: Ah… Vil.

Vil: I thought I heard a crushed frog's ugly cry, but that was my imagination, wasn't it?

Epel: Ugh… I'm sorry, I'll pay attention to it.

Vil: Rook, I think there will be no problems if you are by his side but… If anything happens, I hope you will "properly" discipline him. Not only does he lack in manners and aesthetics, but many other facets as well.

Epel: Is… that so?

Vil: Didn't you get frustrated when the Savanaclaw students reprimanded you? Do not involve Pomefiore in trivial arguments. Understood?

Epel: Understood…

Vil: Rook. If Epel quarrels with other dorm students during the shooting period… I will expel you two from the cinema studies- no, the dorm.

Epel: … I'm only here because you asked me to help.

Vil: Did you say anything?

Epel: Nuthin’- I mean, I said nothing.

Vil: In any case. Please refrain from idiotic behavior that could tarnish Pomefiore's name.

Rook: Oui, Roi du Poison. Leave it to me!

Cinema studies Student A: Those three seem to get along well as usual…

Cinema studies Student C: Epel and Rook are amazing. Leaving out the fact that they're from the same dorm, they can talk to Vil so casually. Perhaps I'm still too nervous because I saw him on the TV and in magazines before I entered the college?

Cinema studies Student A: Right. They're amazing for being able to to talk with him without constraints.

Interior Hallway

The next day

Epel: Ah, Rook.

Rook: Hello, Epel. You're here early.

Epel: Yes. My class finished early…

Students: Congratulations!

Rook: You guys too… We are the most enthusiastic people in the club today.

Classroom

Rook: Vil isn't here today because of work, therefore I will instruct you on the activities…

Cinema Studies B: … Is something wrong?

Rook: La vache (Oh the cow)… how terrible. Look at that.

Epel: Argh! Vil's clothes are torn into pieces!?

Cinema studies Student A: And it's not only his clothes but also the photo sets on the wall…

Everyone: !!

Epel: The heck, what are those weird words written in red…

Rook: "A defective beauty"… It must be a message from the one who tore up the clothes. Fufu, this is quite a case… And a direct declaration of war on us!!

Chapter 2

Classroom

Rook: Fufu, this is quite a case… And a direct declaration of war on us!!

Epel: Is there anyone in the cinema studies club who’d tear up his clothes with ill intent…? Who would do that…

Cinema studies Student A: Hey, those marks on those ripped clothes… Don't they look like they've been made by sharp claws?

Cinema studies Student B: Claws… Then this could be the work of the Savanaclaw students. But why would they…

Cinema studies Student A: … Could it be those guys from yesterday?

Epel: Do you mean the ones who made fun of us..?

Cinema studies Student A: Yeah. The guys from Savanaclaw said it then, right? "Beauty" won't fill your belly.

Cinema studies Student B: So a Savanaclaw student with a grudge from yesterday wrote a message on the wall and tore up Vil's clothes?

Epel: If they didn't like it, they can face us up front. This is cowardly.

Cinema studies Student A: Epel, you are a good person. Even though you aren't part of the cinema club, you still get angry for us.

Epel: I ain't forgivin' them for goin' behind our backs… I mean, we cannot allow them to do this.

Cinema studies Student C: Yeah. We won't stay quiet about these precious clothes being destroyed!

Epel: Yeah! Let's search for those guys from yesterday and have'm complain to our face!

Everyone: Yeah!

Cinema studies Student A: Hey, wait everyone- ... And they went.

Rook: Oho, everyone seems very passionate.

Cinema studies Student A: Rook, are you not following them?

Rook: The sadness of losing such a beautiful thing stunned me for a moment.

Cinema studies Student A: … I see. I'll stop Epel and the others.

Rook: Oh my, to be in such a situation on the day Vil isn't here. Or to be more precise, "because he isn't here". Moreso… "A defective beauty". I should solve this case before Vil returns.

Rook: I should investigate to see if I can find evidence that links to the culprit. Let's start at the place where the fabric was torn. …As I expected. It's not a scratch even though it resembles one. They used 25 cm long scissors with 9 cm long blades to cut it. From the angle of the tears, I can guess that the culprit is right-handed. They held it with their left hand by the torso and used their right hand to cut from the shoulder to the waist with the scissors…

Rook: The culprit is probably around 168-172 cm. That narrows it down a bit! Fufufu… Even though I've experienced the hunt for an animal's traces many times, it still elates me. Oho, I can't let myself get carried away. I have to concentrate on the investigation… … Aha. I see… Fufu, I have deduced the animal. Now it's hunting time!

Courtyard

Savanaclaw Student A: Shut up! We didn't do it. Who gives a shit about your clothes!

Epel: If there's anythin' you wanted to say, tell 's up front instead of harassin'… you're so unmanly, senior.

Savanclaw Student A: What!?

Cinema studies Student B: If we cannot agree and don't progress then… We will have a duel!!!!

Savanaclaw Student B: Hah, come at me. I don't think you culture boys will be much of an opponent though.

Everyone: HAAAAH!!

/Fighting sounds

???: Stop it!

Savanaclaw Student A: Huh…

Cinema studies Student A: All our magic was swept away!?

Epel: Rook!?

Rook: Turn your magical pen in, everyone. It's forbidden to use magic for your personal struggles. Besides, you’re in the wrong by blaming them. They have nothing to do with what happened.

Epel: Huh…

Savanaclaw Student B: Pf! You got us involved in some weird stuff. We did nothin' so we're off.

Cinema studies Student B: … How foolish! If they didn't do it, then please tell us who did such a horrible thing!

Rook: The cause of this tragedy is deep love. The real culprit is… You!

Chapter 3

Rook: The cause of this tragedy is deep love. The real culprit is… You!

Courtyard

Cinema studies Student B/Epel: Huh…

Cinema studies Student C/D: No way…

Cinema studies Student A: …

Cinema studies Student B: He can't be the culprit, Rook! He's the costumer of the cinema studies club!?

Cinema studies Student A: That's right. You saw it, right? That "A Defective beauty", what a disgusting and criminal declaration!!

Rook: Yes, I saw it. That felt out of place. As the Savanclaw students said, they don't only not care , but even negate the very existence of "beauty". Despite that, do you think they would use an eloquent expression like "Defective"? While I was thinking about that, I inspected the garment that seemed to be torn apart by claws carefully.. And followed the clues to you.

Cinema studies Student A: Why… Me?

Rook: The scratches on the garments. They were cut by scissors in the shape of a beast's talons. And by examining the traces of your cut, I could deduce their height and their dominant arm, which happens to concur with yours. And there's more evidence. What I hold in my hand right now is a piece cut from the garments… Look at the lining?

Epel: The lining? What's wrong with it?

Rook: It's loosely sewn. This garment hasn't been used once for a photoshoot, and it's not the only part that doesn't harmonize well on the camera… Vil is the kind of person who strives for perfect quality from the fabric to the sewing and the accessories. He wouldn't have let this shoddy tailoring pass.

Epel: Um, so someone tore up the garments of the cinema studies club. But it was a fake, and not the real one…? I, I'm confused.

Rook: He hesitated at the moment of the crime when he was about to tear Vil's clothes, so he replaced it with a fake. The essential part is that the fake was made intending to fit Vil perfectly. There are only two people besides Vil that know his measurements exactly. The first one is me. And the other one is…

Epel: The costumer… who is in charge of taking his measurements?

Cinema studies Student A: Ugh…

Rook: I suggest you don't make more excuses now. Won't you tell us your reason?

Cinema studies Student A: I-, I did it because… I was jealous! You and Epel get along great with the esteemed Vil!

Epel: Huh! You think we're getting along great? The only thing he does is scold me though…

Cinema studies Student A: That's plenty! I admire Vil, studied what he likes, and devoted myself with all my might to the cinema studies club! Even so, I never got any closer to him since I enrolled! So I tried to make you two fight the other dorms… and have you expelled from the cinema studies club.

Epel: Well ain't you a peach…

Cinema studies Student A: … I'm sorry for causing an inconvenience to everyone in the club. I'll take responsibility and quit the club.

Rook: Quit the club? Non!! That would be outrageous, my dear costumer!

Everyone: Huh!?

Cinema studies Student A: W-Why…

Rook: This case. His love for Vil created and destroyed it. Thus… Love only won't make you able to finish a piece that can be mistaken for the real thing. The way your fingers assembled this with thread and needle, it's actually beautiful. If the cinema studies club were to lose a talent like yours, Vil wouldn't be pleased. Your atonement will be your contributions to the club.

Cinema studies Student B: It's just as Rook says. You are the best out of us at dressmaking, if you weren't here it would stump us. Come on, let's go back to the clubroom. Let's repair this garment before Vil comes back from his work!

Cinema studies Student A: ! Y-Yes!!

Rook: Okay! That settles one case.

Epel: Rook! That was splendid. You are so observant, to tell it's a counterfeit just by the seams.

Rook: Ah. That was a lie! No one hand-sews anything these times. They all use a sewing machine. You can't see that with the naked eye, right? It was a trick.

Epel: Huh… Huuuh!? Then how did you know it was a fake?

Rook: Fufufu, the truth is much simpler. Smell. The counterfeit clothes didn't have a single atom of the characteristic and unique mellow fragrance that Vil has, so I knew immediately.

Epel: What!? That investigation method is kinda… gross, you know?

Rook: Listen, Epel. I regard the information you can get by smelling highly, as it's useful for hunting. You can know the places one visited or in this case, the person's characteristics, by the traces of their smell. For example… sniff sniff. What you had for lunch today-

Epel: Argh!? S-Stop this!

Rook: Hahaha! Just kidding. My nose isn't that good either.

Epel: I thought you were amazing like a detective, but… maybe you're really just a weirdo.

#twisted wonderland #epel felmier #rook hunt #vil schoenheit #translation #personal story

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blueeyedgeorgie · 3 years

Text

Wide Awake-Dream Was Taken

A/N: Here’s Pt. 2 bitches. I hope you all enjoy ! Also, please go support and follow @notphilosopherstudentblog because she helped me out with this because she’s so intelligent. <3

Btw Title is based off Katy Perry’s song Wide Awake

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 3.5k+

_________

It was early. Too early for Y/n to be crying. But her she was, sitting in bed, clinging to one of Clay's old shirts. In the past, it was normal for her to steal a couple of his belongings. It was typical of Y/n to invite herself into his closet, taking whatever she wanted to wear, whenever she wanted. But now it just felt wrong.

There were only a few items left Y/n had that were his. She never washed this shirt, she had only worn it once. She could still remember the day she stole it.

"Y/n, you've got to be kidding," Clay turned in his desk chair. She had just walked out of his closet wearing an oversized grey t-shirt. "You're seriously going to leave me with five pieces of clothing."

She shot him a playful look, taking a moment to admire herself in the nearest mirror. "I'm sorry Mr. 15 million subscribers. You can always buy more clothes with all that money."

"Fine... it looks better on you anyway."

She had spent the rest of the day in his shirt. And by the end of the day, the scent of his laundry detergent was strong. For an odd reason, the t-shirt had spent weeks in the back of Y/n's closet, untouched. At least, until this morning.

All night she was toss and turning. It seemed impossible for her to get a moment of sleep, her mind had been racing. The only reason she wasn't able to sleep was because of one person; Clay. Their fight had played over and over again in her mind.

'But Y/n, I really do love you.'

There were so many different ways the night could've ended. But it was her fault it ended how it did. If only she hadn't asked for him to step out of the stupid restaurant with her. She didn't need to make a scene, but she still did. This was all her fault.

The sound of her phone buzzing had pulled Y/n away from the piece of fabric in her hands. Looking down at her nightstand, she glanced at the electronic. Wilbur was calling. With a sigh, hesitantly she reached for the phone.

"Hey, Y/n."

"Morning, Wilbur."

The brunette bit his lip at the sound of her voice. He could tell she had a rough night. "Are you doing alright?"

"I'm..." she paused, looking down at the shirt in her lap. "Yeah, I'm doing better."

"That's good to hear," For some odd reason, he was pacing. It wasn't normal for him to pace back and forth. He was already dressed for the day, wearing a set of brown pants with a creme button-up shirt. A pair of glasses rested on his face as he spoke. "George and I were hoping to go get some breakfast. Do you think you could show us somewhere good?"

"Yeah, I'm up for breakfast. What about Nick and Clay?" If Clay was coming, she didn't know what she'd do. There would be tension, but maybe she could find a way to patch everything up between them.

"Nick's going over to Clay's. They wanna have a bit of time together."

"Oh, okay... when do you guys wanna meet up?"

"Maybe 30 minutes to an hour?"

"An hour it is."

Before preparing to go out, Y/n had texted Wilbur a location point to meet up. It was a nice restaurant located in town, it had always been one of her favorite places to eat. George and Wilbur had gotten a table outside, it was nice out for a day in Flordia.

"Do you think she's gonna do it?"

Wilbur glanced across the table to George, "Honestly, probably not." He let out a sigh, " hope she agrees. I really do. But it's gonna be hard for her to let go. I just think it'd be better if they got some time away from each other."

"You're right. As good of friends they are, they need a break from each other." They both knew it wasn't a good idea for Y/n to stay in Flordia at the moment, she needed a moment away from Clay. So Wilbur had come up with an idea to get Y/n to take a break.

"What do you think of Elise?" Changing the subject, George leaned back in his chair. It was rare for Clay's girlfriend to come up in conversation. She seemed like such a touchy subject in the group. She was definitely a sweetheart, but it seemed like she appeared out of nowhere. The group had been planning future Dream SMP roleplay on a Discord call. It had been so brief when Clay mentioned her. 'Hey guys, I just wanted to mention I started dating somebody.' It was smart of George to hold his tongue because of what else Clay had to say. 'Her name is Elise and she's 19.'

Most of the group had expected Clay and Y/n to end up together. They were best friends who lived in the same town. There was constant flirting going on between them. And not to mention Y/n had always been there to support Clay through the bad and good.

"Hey, guys!"

Both of the British men were pulled out of their thoughts by the sound of her voice. Y/n was quick to take a seat by Wilbur. "Have we ordered yet?"

"No actually, we've been waiting for you." George fixed his posture, his classic grin appeared on his face. "Got any recommendations for drinks?"

"My go-to has to be a mimosa and the eggs benedict."

The knock came as a surprise, but there were a lot of surprises happening this morning. Clay had woken up earlier than usual. Naturally, he'd get up around 9 or 10, but today he woke at 7. He couldn't go to bed for a few more hours, his mind wouldn't quit racing with thoughts. He had ended up skipping breakfast, he wasn't hungry today. It was normal for him to eat something, he always woke up starved. The early knock was the cherry on top of the cake of the surprises happening today.

"Hey Nick, what are you doing here?" Clay glanced behind his friend, looking for any sign of the rest of his friends. Originally, they had planned to meet up later that afternoon at his place. "I thought you were coming by at noon?"

Nick stood on the porch, burying his hands into the pockets of his jeans. It was early in the morning, yet it was already warm outside. "Yeah, sorry I didn't ask if I could come by earlier. I just wanted some time alone with you."

"Cool, make yourself at home," Stepping aside, the blonde opened the door a bit wider for his friend. "Sorry it's a bit messy, I was planning to clean up before you guys showed up."

The pair had made their way to Clay's living room. It was nice, but still a bit messy just as he said. As the blonde began to pick up after himself, the pair had a bit of small banter.

"Is Elise gonna come by this afternoon?" Nick watched as Clay picked up a couple of items sitting on the coffee table.

"Uh, no. I think she had work today."

"Oh, what about Y/n?"

Clay tensed, pausing for a second. She had been on his mind a lot since the last time he saw her. The way she looked at him... it hurt. It felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. This morning she was all he could think of. He missed her good morning texts, the way she'd update him about little situations happening in her schedule, when she would randomly face time him just to say: 'I wanted to see your stupid face because I missed it.'

"I... she's not coming."

"Why's that?"

"You know why, Nick." Clay let out a sigh, taking a seat on the couch. He didn't know what he could do, he was the one who messed everything up. If he tried to apologize, he might even piss Y/n off even more. She had always been a hardass about being hurt or betrayed, it was hard for her to give people a second chance. "I don't even think she knows we're all planning to meet up later today."

"Dude... it's weird seeing you two like this. It feels wrong." The two friends looked at one another, it seemed like Nick could tell exactly what Clay was thinking. 'It is wrong.'

"I miss her. But I was also the one who fucked everything up by ignoring her for weeks."

"Why'd you even do that?"

"Because I fell in love with her. I was scared she didn't feel the same. So I distanced myself and looked for someone to start a relationship with. That's why I met Elise."

"Clay... you're an idiot."

"I know."

Turning, Wilbur looked at Y/n. She was halfway finished with her meal. Everything was going great, she seemed so happy just to be able to talk with two friends. It seemed like the best time to spring the idea on her.

"Hey, Y/n?"

"Yes, Wilbur?"

He bit his lip, glancing at the man sitting on the other side of the table. George gave a brief nod, knowing what was going to happen next. "George and I had an idea we'd like to share with you."

"What is it?"

"You know how you've been talking about how you've always wanted to visit us in London?"

"Yeah..."

Wilbur paused, looking back at George for a second. "Well, we were thinking... I have a free room in my place. Why don't you spend one of two months with me just to see how you like London?"

Y/n's face lit up. "That sounds great, Wilbur. I... wow. That sounds so fun!" She paused, her smile disappeared. "But what about my house? I can't just abandon it for a month."

Wilbur bit his lip, 'Shit.'

"Clay can stop by once a week, just to make sure everything's fine. I'm positive he'll do it for you," George was quick to jump into the conversation. As soon as he mentioned Clay, Wilbur shot him a look. Y/n tensed at the sound of his name.

"Listen Y/n, you don't have to do it. Just keep the idea in mind, you can give me an answer before George and I leave."

"Okay..." Y/n bit her lip, looking at her food. She knew the only right answer was yes, but it was going to be hard to talk to Clay about this. "I think... I think I wanna do this. I wanna go with you guys."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, but... just give me some time to think it over."

"We're always here for you, Y/n. No pressure." Wilbur placed a hand on Y/n's. He wanted her to come to London, everything would be better. He cared a lot about Y/n, he really did. He just wanted to see her happy.

"I just want her to be happy," Clay let out a sigh, opening the refrigerator door. His eyes skimmed over what there was, he had gone grocery shopping the other day to plan for today. He still wasn't hungry.

"Everything's gonna get-" Nick paused, he was interrupted by the sound of Clay's phone ringing. There was a moment of silence as the blonde closed the refrigerator, approaching his phone on the kitchen counter.

"It's Y/n."

"What?"

"Do I pick it up?" Clay glanced at his friend.

"yes, yes, yes! Do it!"

Clay was quick to pick up the phone, putting it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Hey, Clay."

"Hey, Y/n."

"Do you..." she paused, "Do you have a moment to talk?"

"Yeah, I can talk." Clay leaned against the counter, listening to her intently. It had only been a few days, but he missed her voice. He could tell she was down.

"I know this seems like the wrong time to be asking for favors and everything, considering everything that has happened this last week. But... I need your help with something." She paused again. He could tell she was hesitating, as though something was keeping her back. "I think I'm gonna be gone for a while. And I just need someone to check up with my house every couple of days. Could you do that? It's fine if you don't want to, it was a stupid idea of me to ask you anyways-"

"No, yeah. Of course, I'll check up on your house for you, Y/n." He was quick to cut her off. The last thing he wanted was for her to think she couldn't turn to him for help anymore. "And it's not stupid of you to ask me. I'll always be here if you need something or need help."

She scoffed, "You weren't there for me these past few weeks." She stopped herself again for the third time. "I'm sorry, that was really bitchy of me."

"I deserved it," he could only chuckle. Y/n was still herself. "But yeah, is there anything else you need... or want to talk about?"

"I... no. No, that's it. I guess I'll talk to you... eventually."

"Alright," Clay fought back the urge to let out a disappointed sigh. "I'll see you." Without saying goodbye, she hung up the phone. He didn't know what to expect next, he wasn't even sure whether this was a step in the right direction or not.

Staring at the box, Y/n felt herself tear up for the hundredth time this week. This was going to be a hard task to complete, but it was going to help her let go.

Walking around the house, Y/n picked up item by item. Anything that belonged to Clay was going in the box. A few t-shirts, a couple of CDs she stole, one of his coffee cups. Y/n wasn't even sure how the cup had gotten to her house, but she knew it belonged to Clay. All of her coffee cups matched, all the same color and shape. But... this one cup had shown up in her pantry one day. Every time Clay had spent the night, he'd start the morning off with a cup of coffee, only using that cup.

At this point, Y/n was picking up items that held too strong memories of him. The box had quickly filled, it felt strange. It seemed like she had just lost a chunk of her house. Of her life. This needed to happen. This was the only way they'd be able to keep their friendship.

Y/n had agreed to come to London with Wilbur, she was finally fully on board. Two suitcases sat by her front door as she waited for Wilbur and George to arrive. She would only be in Florida for a few more hours, she needed to give this box back to him. Maybe she could just say screw it, leave it here under her bed, hidden away. So when she'd return she'd be comforted by his shirts and hoodies, she'd listen to his songs and cry.

No. She couldn't do that. If she did that she wouldn't be letting go of everything. Y/n needed closure, it'd be the best for them both and she knew it. Pulling her out of her thoughts, Y/n heard a knock on her door. It was time.

"Morning, Y/n."

"Morning, Wilbur." Y/n smiled, embracing her friend in a hug as soon as she opened the door.

"George is in the car. We got coffee too." Wilbur looked down at her, his arms still wrapped around her waist, holding her close. "You're positive you want to do this?"

"Yes, I need to."

"Alright, then. I'll support you with whatever decision you make." He finally stepped aside, moving to grab her suitcases. Y/n grabbed the box, she had moved it into the hallway before greeting Wilbur. With one more glance, she looked down her hallway before closing the door. As soon as her home was locked up, Y/n had dropped her keys into the box. This was going to be the final step before London. Giving it all back.

George and Y/n greeted each other, Y/n giving him a quick hug before entering the car. The rest of the time, the car ride was quiet. There was obviously going to be tension. On their way, Y/n kept thinking to herself about what she was going to say. What if she fucked it all up? What if they broke out into another fight?

"Here we are."

Y/n sucked in a breath, looking over at the familiar house. This was the final step.

"Y/n, do you need either of us to walk up with you?" Wilbur spoke, he noticed the way she looked at the house.

She shook her head. "No, I got this..." Stepping out of the car, there were only a few words she'd repeat to herself. 'This is the final step. This is the final step. This is the final step.' It felt like it took forever for her to reach his porch.

As soon as she was face to face with the wooden door, she was quick to hit the doorbell. She just wanted to get this over with, fast. A few moments passed, and just as she reached to hit the doorbell again, she stepped back. The door was opening.

"Y/n?" Clay yawned, his hair was a mess. It was obvious she had just woken him up. "What are you-"

"It's time for me to go now. I'm sorry for waking you up. Here are my keys and a few of your items in case you wanted them while I was-"

"Woah, woah, woah." He interrupted her, rubbing his eyes. "Slow down, you're talking fast. You're leaving? Right now?"

"I..." she sighed. "Yeah, I am."

"And this..." he looked down at the box in her hands. "They're all mine?"

"Yeah, that's kinda the whole point." She gave him a look, "Considering the box says your name."

"Alright... thank you," he nodded, carefully picking the box up from her. "How long are you gonna be gone?"

"I'm not sure. I just know I have to go."

"Why?"

"Because of us, Clay. It'd be better for both of us. We need time apart. We have so much going on in each other's lives. I just need a break."

He watched her, she looked close to tears. Without thinking, Clay pulled his friend into his embrace, holding her close. "I understand. Take as much time as you need. I'll be here."

"Thank you."

The hug was short, Y/n was the first to pull away. As soon as it was over, she muttered a quick goodbye, hurrying back to the car. When the car door shut, Wilbur was quick to jump to asking questions.

"Are you okay? Do you need anything? You're completely sure you want to do this?"

"I'm fine, Wilbur."

"Alright, I just wanted to check." Wilbur paused, looking out the window. "Y/n, would you mind if George and I said our goodbyes to Clay?"

"Go ahead, I'm not the boss of you."

Sitting in the car alone, Y/n got a moment to catch her breath and stop the tears from forming. She did it. She completed the final step. She could do whatever she wanted now. The moment alone in the car felt short, George and Wilbur were back in the car in what felt like seconds. Only, Wilbur sat in the back with Y/n, George driving by himself.

"You ready, Y/n?"

"More than anything." Y/n looked at Wilbur, the way he smiled at her just felt... good. Looking down, she noticed Wilbur gently grabbing her hand in his. She smiled, things were going to start getting good for her, she knew it.

"Wow okay, now I just feel like a driver for you two." George shot a dirty look in the mirror.

"A bad driver," Y/n grinned at her friend. "Start moving, Mr. colorblind." "If I get a ticket for running a red light, I'm blaming you."

With a yawn, Y/n opened her eyes. She had another good night of sleep, it had been weeks since she had a bad night of sleep. For eight months, she had lived in London. At this point, her house in Flordia was sold to a family of three, and she was no longer flatmates with Wilbur. Instead, she was his girlfriend.

Turning over, she faced the beautiful brunette. He was still asleep. She owed him everything. She was now an influencer because of him, he had helped her set up her YouTube channel and introduced her to the fans. He thought it'd be a good job for her, considering how she was a social butterfly and carry conversations.

Clay and Y/n didn't interact as much as they use to. They'd interact on the Dream SMP and over social media. But it was rare for them to speak in private. The only way their relationship got better was by them distancing themselves. What was a beautiful friendship had turned into an acquaintanceship. Clay was still dating Elise, but it seemed like things weren't going the best and there were signs of him planning to break up with her soon.

Wilbur peeked an eye open, looking at his girlfriend. "Morning, Y/n."

"Morning, Wilbur."

Y/n smiled, she knew she was right. Everything got better for her. After all, When the rain ends, there will always be a rainbow.

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black-rose-writings · 3 years

Text

Reading Siege and Storm because I hate myself

To begin, I’d like to state that this is my first read-through and I only have vague idea of the plot I’ve gathered from fanfics and tumblr posts.

Long post ahead

Chapter 1

So... at first I was like - huh, this isn’t as bad as I thought, but the moment Alina gets introspective, it all goes to hell.

Like, she’s being physically made sick by not using her powers, which is making her feel useless - like, she says, pretty much verbatim: “The only thing I was ever good at was being a Sun Summoner and I’m not that anymore.”

I’m gonna beat those paragraphs over the head of anyone, who says Alina got a good ending.

I’ve also noticed just how often the like “I pushed that thought away” is used and more often than not, it’s used on thoughts that should probably not be pushed away.

Ah, yes, here he comes, my boy Darkles, being the dramatic bitch he always is. We get it, you’re the hot villain, tempting the good and pure heroine away from being good and pure.

And I’m just now realizing how many times in this chapter has Alina lamented their lack of privacy. We have to ensure the reader doesn’t hink she’s *gasp* sleeping with Mal.

Chapter 2

What?

Alina is tripping balls while being put under by a Heartrender, got it.

Darkling is being the voice of reason, but I’m getting the distinct feeling it won’t last.

Ivan gets one point, because Alina is in fact a traitor, but he’s also being a cunt, so it doesn’t really count.

Alina at Sturmhond: Do you even care about Ravka?

Me at Alina: Do you?

Chapter 3

“Mermaids are not real”. I’m pretty sure they are in the Grishaverse.

My boy Darkles is still making sense, but Alina is dedicated to being against him just for the hell of it, it seems.

Did this bitch just throw a tantrum, because he told her, what we can assume is the truth? Okay. Like, I get that she’s at best 18, but still. Not exactly the type of protagonist whose head I like being in.

And in that moment, dozens of smut fics were born.

Chapter 4

Wow, that was quick.

Aaand. What had just happened?

Chapter 5

Sturmhond is a funny bitch, I’ll give him that.

And this entire conversation, it seems like Mal’s entire purpose is to stand behind Alina threateningly and repeat what she said, lol.

I’d like to remind Alina (and LB) that a king in an absolutist monarchy (which is what Ravka appears to be) is very much a tyrant. Don’t make it sound like Ravka didn’t have a tyrant before. And at the very least, my boy Darkles seems pretty competent.

A man calling himself a Storm Dog likes dogs. No shit.

Chapter 6

I hate Mal. Dude, this is your girlfriend, maybe like... listen to her? Don’t bludgeon her with the one other guy she was kinda-sorta with, when you are a well known manwhore?

I don’t know man, I don’t like him.

Everyone: You can’t have more than one amplifier, it’s dangerous.

Alina: Haha, sparkles go brrrr

Chapter 7

In other news, pirates are funny.

Holy shit, they have a plane.

That was... a lot. And we’re crossing the Fold again, yay.

Chapter 8

You feel bad for the Volcra but not for the people you’ve left for dead in the Fold last time? Okay.

Baby Volcra. Am I supposed to say “ew” or “aww”? If I tried doing both at the same time, it would probably sound like one.

Jesus fucking Christ this book is a ride.

Did Alina really just have an “oh no, he’s hot?” moment? *sighs*

Puppy boy has a title longer than Daenerys, jesus.

Alina, my dear, you could have waited for a bit before doing that. There’s like thirty soldier with guns around you and you’ve just punched a prince.

Then again, you’ve never been smart, have you?

Chapter 9

For once, I completely agree with him. I know you two have lost your one shared braincell on that first crossing of the Fold but still, that was very dumb of you, Alina.

I’m starting to get why people were calling Nikolai “Darkling light”. Definitelly seems appropriate.

Mal, calm the fuck down, that was the least romantic proposal I’ve ever heard and you know it.

You two didn’t even let Alina get a word in for the last page. What right do you have to her, Mal, huh? Nikolai is making sense and you’re being an idiot.

What’s your deal Mal? What the fuck do you want?

And why in the hell are you the endgame love interest?

That’s an awful lot of guilt-tripping you’re doing there, Mal. No need to be pissy about it.

Chapter 10

The bones thing is definitelly yikes.

Saints, Mal, are you on your period or something? Alina doesn’t belong to you. Alina can make her own choices. Get a grip.

“You think I’m like the Darkling?” Yes. The Darkling isn’t all bad. You’re at war. No need to get your panties in a twist over a few fingers.

Oh, look, Alina has a cult now, nice.

Chapter 11

Your “dad” is a rapist, Nikolai. Quite possibly a pedo. He got exactly what he deserved.

I’d go for the second option. Especially after that stunt. Jesus, you could have asked her beforehand.

At least Darkles had the decency to make out with her in private.

Also like... why is every single person in this series so far an asshole?

Chapter 12

We meet the King again, unfortunately.

Alina gets Darkles’s old job.

This should be a total disaster, but let’s see where it goes anyway.

Chapter 13

Alina’s nuts, yay.

(I know they have a Force-bond-thingy. I also know they did it before Reylo did.)

Chapter 14

Oh boy, Alina’s not doing as bad as I thought.

For the 100th time in this book, I wish I had Nikolai’s confidence. Though it is getting a bit too much.

Puppy boy is dropping some truth bombs. Nice.

But he doesn’t realize that my boy Darkles has very good reasons to not align with Fjerdans - a) they think he’s a demon and b) they want Grisha dead.

I’m not gonna say she was, but like... the monarchy is very much corrupt.

Oh, boy, Baghra. This one’s gonna go well.

Yep, Baghra’s as pleasant as ever.

So... Baghra’s plan in book 1 really had been to just have Alina run away and hope for the best? Jesus Christ, lady. I’m not saying she deserved to have her eyes taken away, but she is definitelly a trash person and I’m not surprised her son turned out the way he did.

Also, I’m fairly certain that Baghra is literally slowly killing herself - that the reason she looks so old and frail is because she’s started to supress her power and it’s literally killing her, because, you know, she’s bonkers old.

Chapter 15

Nerd Alina > Self-pitying Alina

Also, I’m just saying, Alina comments on Zoya being attractive a whole lot - I get that she’s meant to be insecure, but I’m interpreting it as her being gay, because I need some happiness in my life, okay?

Just kill the sleazy old Rasputin-wanna-be. There’s plenty of them to go around in this series.

Chapter 16

Vasily takes after his father in creep factor.

Why not the Darkling being courted by a horny prince? Be a bit creative.

Chapter 17

Nikolai has big ADHD energy and I love him for it. Fits right in with the heavily autism-coded Fabricators.

*sighs at heteronormativity again*

*sighs at improper gendering of titles*

Date night with Mal. This is gonna be a disaster, isn’t it?

Chapter 18

Fun night of cultural appropriation, yay.

I hate cultists.

LET. ALINA. GO. FERAL. Please.

You two are going to give me a headache, I swear.

Darkles cockblocking Alina. And Malice threw a tantrum. Nice.

Chapter 19

You’re way too harsh on Genya, Alina.

Horny Alina rights.

They have a laser, now. Cool. Or, well, enormously hot.

Mal is being a drunk a-hole. Great. When does he become likable? Does he ever?

Banter between Mal and Alina? Kinda weird, always somehow comes back to either of them being insecure.

Banter between Alina and Nikolai? I’m all for it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a Darklina trash, but like... Nikolai is fun. I could see him and Alina having an arranged political marriage and ending up falling in love years into it, that’s all I’m saying.

Chapter 20

Just let this one go, Alina, please. You two are not working out. Please, end it with him. You’ll both probably be happier. (I’m saying this with the full knowledge that Malina is endgame).

Jesus Alina, get your shit together. You have every right to be mad, because you two didn’t actually break up, you didn’t kiss Nikolai and also, I don’t like Mal.

Sooo... when is Alina going to realize her manchild of a boyfriend is an amplifier?

Chapter 21

Alina has the horny sickness, lol.

Jesus Christ, girl, I don’t want to read your vaguely suicidal thoughts.

Mal, you fucking idiot.

Alina, stop defending Mal.

Chapter 22

Alina has a logical thought? Impossible.

Finally, some action.

Chapter 23

Oh, boi, this is going great.

Oh, boi, Alina’s having another martyr moment.

And, we’re done.

Finally.

That was a ride. Nothing really happens for like ten chapters and then everything happens in one and a half.

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #siege and storm #review #darklina #anti mal #I guess #reading binges like this yeet me right back into middle school

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navalcriminalimagines · 3 years

Text

from NYC to DC

request: I was hoping to request a Barbra x reader where the reader and him have a really bad break up (honey make it angst asf I’m in the mood for that atm lmao don’t know why ) and they transfer because of it to NCIS (ouuuu cross over ) and they are happy and with her son/daughter.

author’s note: anon, again, thank you for your request!!! i hope you’ll have as much fun as i had writing this! that’s definitely not how i pictured it at first but inspo kept coming along the way!! maybe... just maybe, if you guys want it, i could make this a series... if you’re interested :)

words: 4,840

warnings: making out, slight smut, betray, cheating

tags: @averyhotchner

6 weeks.

6 weeks since you and your husband hasn’t been intimate. And it was way too long for you.

You and Rafael had been together for almost 9 years, married for 5, with a 4 years old little boy. Your record with any sexual activity was 3 months and to be fair, it was after you gave birth to Eduardo.

It’s been 6 weeks now, you had no idea why and you couldn’t wait another day. When you arrived at the office, you let your boss know you were taking your afternoon off. There’s nothing your team can’t take care of, so he agreed.

Right after, you texted your mother-in-law Lucia, asking her if she could take Edu for the night, maybe until Sunday. The plan was not to leave the bed and your husband’s naked body until you had to.

Before going home, you stopped to buy some lingerie. Tonight needs to be perfect, and what’s better than surprising your husband with new spicy lingerie?

You spent the afternoon cleaning the apartment, cooking Rafael’s favorite Cuban dish and preparing yourself. You looked at yourself in the mirror, with the lingerie on, wondering if you were the problem. Is he not attracted to you anymore? Obviously your body changed after you gave birth, but it never seemed to bother him before. Why now? Rafael never left you this long without touching and kissing your body, letting you know how much he loves you and wants you. Why doesn’t he do that anymore? What’s wrong with you?

A bit before 6, you texted your husband, asking what time he’s coming home. That’s something you often do, so there would be no surprise there.

Dunno, 8 maybe. He answered. But you couldn’t until 8.

Edu’s asking for you... could you make it for dinner? You sent.

Sure :)

Perfect. You made last minute prep before he got there. You curled your long hair just like he loves it, you only had mascara on, to make your blue eyes look bigger. You heard him coming home and looked at yourself one last time in the mirror. If nothing happens, something’s really wrong, you told yourself.

Rafael had a confused look on his face. His son was nowhere to find, the apartment smelled like ropa vieja. Candles were lit, and a bottle of wine was waiting on the coffee table. “Y/N?” He called.

“Hey handsome!” You emerged from the hallway, with a smile on your face. You looked gorgeous. You had Rafael’s favorite green dress on, his heart sunk. He stopped breathing for a moment.

“Wait, what day it is?” He asked.

“No particular day, Raf, don’t worry,” you chuckled and walked to him. “Just want a nice night with my husband,” you put your arms his neck and kissed him softly.

“Love the sound of that,” he smiled. “Love the smell too,” he kissed you again.

“I made your favorite,”

He laughed, “I wasn’t talking about the food. Although it does smell good. But I meant your scent,” Rafael gently kissed your shoulder and you heard him breath in your scent, “Victoria’s Secret bare vanilla,” he said, with his head hide in your neck.

“Oh! Talk dirty to me,” you chuckled. When he emerged from your neck, you took a moment to look at him, at his face, his eyes, his mouth... “I miss you, Raf,”

His eyebrows clenched together. “I’m here, amor. Always been,” he said.

“I know. I-it’s just—“ you shook your head, “Nevermind. Wine?” You offered and he nodded.

The night began well. You had small talks over dinner, Rafael enjoyed the dish you made. “It gets better every time,” he told you. But things went south pretty quickly when you took him to the bedroom. You made him sit on the edge of the bed and started to undress in front of him. “¡Coño!” You heard him. You smiled and continued the show until you were in your lingerie. “New?” He asked and you nodded.

“You’re gorgeous,” he said. He sat on his lap and started to kiss him deeply. You felt his hands on your body and gosh how you missed his touch and his kisses.

You couldn’t feel his crotch growing between your legs. You didn’t think further about it first, and you laid him down on the bed. You unhooked his belt, undid his button and put his pants down. You softly touched him through the fabric, waiting for his cock to react. Still nothing. Rafael wasn’t looking at you anymore, he was focused on the ceiling, as if he was wanting for this to be over.

“You okay over there?” You asked, a bit worried.

“Yeah, yeah. Keep going,” he answered.

You did as he said. You freed his cock and went to suck him. You did everything you usually do but nothing. There was no reaction. “Rafael? Something’s wrong?” You were already frustrated and it was getting worse.

“Lo siento, amor. I don’t know what’s happening,” Rafael sat back on the bed and put his boxer brief back on. He had a very sad look on the bed. You were lost. Is he really not attracted to you anymore? You sat in front of him, held his hand and tried to avoid the tears that were threatening to come out.

“Talk to him, my love. Do you not want me anymore?” You asked.

“No! Of course not! I do,” he interjected.

“I want to believe you but—your body says otherwise,” you said. “It never happened before, no matter how exhausted you were,”

He sighed but stayed silent. You saw a single tear running down his cheek. You closed the gap between you and your husband and hugged him. Rafael had his face buried in your chest, and you felt he was crying. “Baby, tell me what’s going on, please,” you begged.

“I’m so sorry, amor,” he cried, “so sorry,” he repeated.

“What for? Tell me,” you softly grabbed his face in your hand and forced him to look at you. “What are you sorry for?” You asked again. Still crying, he opened his mouth to talk but closed it immediately. “Rafael, please,” you begged again.

“It meant nothing, Y/N. It was a stupid mistake, one terribly stupid mistake and I feel so bad,” understanding what it was trying to tell you, you let go off his hands, taking an inch away from him. Disgust was obvious on your face. But you couldn’t say anything, this can’t be true. It can’t be happening. “Amor, I swear—“

“Shut up!” You exclaimed. There was so many things going through your mind at this very moment, you didn’t even know where to begin. Your heart was beating so fast, you swore it was coming out off your chest. Rafael tried to grab your hands but you swapped them away.

“Who?” You choked up.

“Does it matter?”

You stood up and started to put your clothes back on. “You bet your ass it does! I wanna know who that bitch is! You’ll take care of your case later! But don’t put your hopes high, you ruined our fucking marriage!”

“No, no!” Rafael interjected and jumped from the bed. He grabbed your arms to stop you from putting a sweater on. Your whole body was shaking from anger. Rafael saw something in your eyes he never saw before. Indeed, he knew he ruined the relationship. “There’s a way I can make you forgive me. It has to. We can’t—“

“We can’t what, Rafael?” You snapped. “End our relationship? Destroy our marriage, our family? I believe that’s what you did!” You pushed him aside so you could walk out of the bedroom. Rafael briefly lost his balance and found himself on the bed but he immediately went back on his feet and followed you. He grabbed you by your waist, preventing you from going further. He didn’t have time to say something, “I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid!” You weren’t really talking to your husband, but more letting your anger out, “Here I was, trying to understand what was happening. Asking myself why we didn’t have sex for weeks, thinking it was maybe my fault, that something was wrong with me, or with my body— I spent the entire afternoon preparing this night, so we could find each other again, so that it was just us. Just you and me—“ Rafael was holding you from behind, you didn’t have the strength to fight his grip. You were both crying, “I can’t believe you did this, Rafael. And for what? To empty your fucking balls?”

“I know I have no excuses,” Rafael had buried his head in your back, still holding you. He didn’t want to let go off you. He was scared that if he let you go, you would never come back. Maybe he was onto something. “I don’t know why I did it. I want to say it was because of alcohol, because I had a few drinks but, it doesn’t change anything, I know it,”

“You damn right it doesn’t,” you said, still crying. His hands were locked in your front, you took a look at his wedding band. How could he ruin your vows? Your promises?

“Please, amor,” this made you lose it. Being a federal agent makes you much stronger than him, so you didn’t struggle to get out off his arms.

“Do not ‘amor’ me, Rafael. You lost that right. You lost when you fucked that bitch. Hell, you lost it when your lips—“ you couldn’t finish your sentence. That thought of him with someone else makes you sick in your stomach. Rafael could see it on your face.

“I will do anything to make you forgive me, Y/N. I swear—“ he paused. “do you want me to get on my knees and beg for your forgiveness? Cause I’ll do it,” you saw him starting to kneel.

“Don’t even—“ you warned him and he stopped on his tracks. “We’ve been together for almost 10 years and you know me better than anyone. You know that cheating is a deal breaker,”

“Yes, I do. But—“ he tried.

“There’s no ‘but’, Rafael. I will never trust you again. I will never be able to look at you, to—kiss you or do anything, without thinking of what you did,”

“What does that mean?” He had this terribly sad look on his face, as if the world was ending. But it’s all on him. You can’t feel guilty about what you’re going to say.

“It’s over. We’re done,”

Rafael did beg for several minutes. At some point, he was getting so weak from the cries and the pain, he fell on his knees and held onto your waist. He apologized too many times you could count, he made promises, offers. He was willing to do anything so you could forgive him. But you couldn’t. Not now, not ever.

Neither of you slept that night. You couldn’t even look at him anymore. You didn’t know where to go, or what to do but you needed some fresh air. “Where you going?” Rafael asked when he saw you putting on your shoes.

“None of your damn business,” you slammed the door behind you.

After that, it all happened quickly. You did your best not to alarm your son but he noticed he wasn’t seeing his parents together anymore. You spent half your time at your best friend’s place. You focused on your job and your son, doing your best to avoid Rafael.

There was one thing you needed to know; who he cheated on you with. It didn’t take you long to figure out it was his coworker Olivia Benson. Rafael and you always made important not to mix professional and personal life, which is why you only met her a few times.

One night, you waited for her next to her car. You didn’t care she was a Lieutenant, and that you were in front of her precinct, just like you didn’t care when you saw that she wasn’t alone. Sonny Carisi was walking her to her car when you emerged from the dark.

“Mrs Barba, hey!” The detective greeted you, “if you’re looking for your husband, he’s not here. Also, what’s wrong with him lately? He’s been more annoying than usual,” he smiled.

“You’re about to find out, detective,” on those words, you didn’t think twice before throwing a punch right into Olivia’s jaw and nose. It put all your strength in it, she lost her balance and thankfully for her, Sonny caught her. Was he supposed to arrest you? What was happening? “Next time you want to screw up with an ADA, chose a single one. But don’t worry now, he fucking is,” you just said and left.

“Lieu, what do I—?” Sonny asked, confused.

“Let her go, Carisi,” Olivia answered, holding her bloody nose, “You better not say a single word about this. To anyone,”

“How’s my favorite New Yorker agent?” Tobias Fornell greeted you with a hug. All the people you work with notice that something was wrong but no one dared to ask. You met Tobias a few years ago on the job, you immediately hit it off and he became a close friend. So close that it’s in his arms that you let go your pain, and cried every tear you had left. “Not so great, apparently,” he whispered. Fornell let you cry and calm down in his arms. “Wanna talk about it?”

You explained everything during a coffee break. A part of him wanted to go find and beat the crap out of Rafael. He probably would have done it if you didn’t have a little boy with him. Edu doesn’t deserve to see his father with cuts and bruises.

“What do you want to do now?” He asked.

“I have no idea. I need some time away from New York I think. Everything here makes me thing of him and I—I can’t deal with it,”

“Will ‘some time away’ be enough? I mean—if you’re up for a big change, NCIS team is one man down,”

At first, you refused. You weren’t ready for a change that big... until you broke into tears in front of a theater on Broadway, where Rafael took you for your first date. You couldn’t stay in New York. So you called Tobias and asked if NCIS had found someone. They hadn’t.

Since the breakup, you just dropped Eduardo in front of the apartment’s door, waited for Rafael to open and immediately left. This time you got in, to your husband’s surprise. His hopes went straight back up. You asked your son to go into his bedroom for a moment so you could talk with Rafael.

“How are you?” He asked, not sure it was the right move.

“Let’s not do that. I just want to let you know I’m moving to DC. With Edu—“

“Wait, what? No, there’s no—“

“I’m not asking for your permission, Rafael. I’m telling you. You’ll see your son every time you want to, DC is just a 3 hours train ride, okay? I can’t stay here. Not only you ruined our marriage, our family but you also ruined New York for me,”

“I—I can understand that, Y/N. But DC? Can’t you move somewhere I can see my son right after work if I want to?”

“Work opportunity,” you answered.

“What if I want him to stay here with me? And that you’re the one to comes on weekend to see him?” Rafael was on papa bear mode. He starts to understand you won’t ever forgive him, and he’s willing to accept it, no matter how bad it hurts. It’s all on him. But taking his son away? That’s a total different thing.

“If that’s what you want, hire a fucking lawyer. I’m leaving next week,”

Before you left the apartment you and Rafael shared for years, the apartment where Edu spent the first four years of his life, you did something that broke his heart for good. You left your wedding band on the coffee table.

* * *

Fornell welcomed you and your son in his house until you found a place of your own. You had a babysitter on demand with Emily. Eduardo likes her a lot already.

“Who is she again?” Tony asked his boss.

“A friend of Fornell. She was a FBI agent in New York, and now she’s with us,”

“You owned him something?”

Tony quickly regretted judging you without meeting you first. He didn’t like the idea of a complete stranger joining the team, but a few hours after your arrival, he knew he was wrong. You are lovable and you know your job. “Let’s go downstairs so you can meet Abby, Ducky and Palmer,” Gibbs told you and you followed him. Never in the world you had such a warm welcoming as the one Abby gave you. “I made this for you,” she offered you a sweater, “And Fornell told me your son loves to play to dress up, so I made him--this,” she showed off a dress that looked a little gothie. “It was one of my dress that I don’t wear anymore. I made a few adjustments and hopefully, it will suit--Eduardo?”

“Yes, but everybody calls him Edu. When I call him Eduardo, he knows it’s trouble,” you chuckled and took the dress from her, “He is going to love it! Thank you so much, Abigail, you didn’t have too,”

“Wow, she called me Abigail,” she said, looking at Gibbs. “Only Ducky does. But I can get used to it, coming from you too,” she smiled.

The next day you showed her a picture of Edu wearing the dress. Indeed he was loving it, he asked to sleep with it.

As you were looking for apartment, you realized you could actually make a dream of yours come true and buy a house. Your own house. New York didn’t give this opportunity. The houses the city had to offer didn’t look like real houses to you, that’s why you agreed with Rafael on buying an apartment on Park Avenue. But this was a new life. This is the time. You started to settle up, to know how much you could loan to the bank. Considering you had to buy every fourniture, a new car, and have something to eat in the fridge, it appeared impossible. For a moment you regretted no asking for an alimony and you growled at yourself.

“Everything okay over there?” you heard Gibbs asking from his desk. It was 9pm and you and him were the only ones left.

“Why are property prices so high?” you asked and you heard him chuckle.

“That’s why I’m glad I bought my house years ago,” Gibbs stood up and walked up to your desk. “Want to buy a place?”

“I thought it could be the time, but when I see the prices, everything I have to buy and my salary--it doesn’t match,”

“No alimony?”

“Hell no. Rafael wanted to, at least for Edu, but I told him that if he wants to give money to his son, he can do it when he’s visiting and put it on his bank account,”

“Your 4 years old has a bank account?” Gibbs smiled.

“For when he’ll be older, yeah. We never know what can happened,”

Your boss took a quick look at your computer, “What about that house?” he said. You were looking for houses on sell online, you stopped on a house. Not for what it looked like but for the price.

“It’s a smoking ruin, Gibbs. I clicked on it because that’s the best I can actually pay for,” you showed him the pictures of the house.

“With some handy work, we can make something of it,” he said.

“We?”

“You, me, Fornell, and probably the rest of the team if you ask them,”

“That ain’t gonna happen,”

Turns out, the next day when you arrived in the bullpen, everyone was there, looking at the screen. “’Grab your gear’?” you said, approaching your fairly new team.

“More like ‘buy the house’,” Abby interjected. You understood and shoot a glare at your boss, who was smiling. “So--all the wood works definitely go to Gibbs, Bishop said she’s good with the painting. McGee and I can do the floors,”

“I can take care of the bathroom, I redid ours,” Jimmy spoke up.

“Autopsy gremlin--that’s very unexpected,”

You watched them talking about the house for a moment. Your new team was planning to spend many weekends working a house you haven’t buy yet. Who are those people? You only met them weeks ago, and they are acting like...a family. That thought brought so many feelings inside you. You excused yourself and ran to the ladies room. “I got it,” Gibbs said the team and joined you. Thankfully there was no lady in there. You were crying over the sink and Gibbs gently took your hand and brought you in his arms.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” he asked.

“That--what’s happening over there. It’s wrong,”

“Gonna need a little more info,”

You rise from his arms and looked at him, “There’s no way all of you are ruining your days off to help me,”

“We want to,” he spoke for everyone.

“But--why? Why would you do that?”

“Because that’s what families do, Y/N. Simple as that,” you looked down at your first, trying not to cry again.

“Rafael has been my only family, ever,” you confessed.

“Figured that out. Let us become your new family,”

You nodded, unsure of what is actually meant. “Damn you for reading my file,” Gibbs chuckled and invited you to go back to the team.

After many appointments for weeks, the house was finally yours. And on the team’s first day off after you got the keys, everyone showed up in used clothes. “Let’s get dirty!” Abby exclaimed, getting in your house. It was yours. That’s something you never thought would happen. Especially after the past months.

Ducky became the boss on that project. He made to-do lists and assigned the missions. Gibbs was in charge of the wooden floors, Bishop and Abby went painting upstairs. As he said, Jimmy assigned himself to the bathroom. Tony and McGee worked on the minor repairs, and you were the floating agent. Going where you were needed.

In the afternoon, Tobias showed up with Emily and Edu. Your son was wearing a overalls with doc martens and a baseball cap above his long dark hair. His fashion choices never stop to amaze you. “Mami!” he jumped into your arms. “Is it done yet?” he asked, excitingly.

“Oh no, baby! I told you we still have to stay with uncle Toby and Em for a while,”

You never had someone close enough to you and your son so that Edu would actually call them “Uncle” or “Aunt”. Now that’s what he’s doing with the entire team. “Can I see my bedroom?”

You took him upstairs to his future bedroom. Ellie and Abby were painting the walls. “Edu! I love your overalls,” Abby exclaimed.

“I love yours aunt Abby,”

“Wanna help the girls, baby?” you offered and Edu happily accepted. You went downstairs, helping Gibbs with the floor and your son stayed with your coworkers.

“I don’t want my room to be white!”

“Oh don’t worry, sweetie! We have to paint it white first and then you’ll choose the colors you want,” Bishop told Edu.

“Purple and green,”

“That’s an interesting mix,” Abby smiled.

“Mamiiii!” Edu came running to you, “I’m gonna have a disney wall in my room!”

“What?!”

“Aunt Ellie said so,”

You looked at Bishop who was standing right behind and she explained that she has a friend that will do it. For free. How amazing are those people.

For weeks, the entire team spent at least all their sundays working in the house. It was going really well. The house was becoming a home. Your home. Yours and your son. The guys were building the furniture you had already bought, Gibbs was taking care of the kitchen with Tobias, Jimmy was still working on the bathroom with Ducky’s help and Ellie and Abby was taking care of the final touches. Edu was having fun with Emily in the backyard.

“Phone!” everyone heard Gibbs shouting. All the phones were on the kitchen counter and Tobias checked the one that was ringing. When he saw “Rafael” written on it, he called for you. You answered and went on the porch in front the house.

“Mami and I just arrived in DC, we’re staying for the weekend. Can I pick up Edu?” Rafael asked over the phone.

“I--yeah sure. I’m sending you the address,”

You and Rafael only talk for your son. Edu told him you have a new house but Rafael doesn’t know you actually bought it. Your husband hears a lot about the team, Edu is fond of them. On one side, he likes that Edu is enjoying living in DC and the other side, he hates it. He wishes you and his son would come back. That you would forgive him from cheating on you.

For several weeks after you left, Rafael considered moving to DC too. To be close to his son obviously but also hoping it would make you change your mind, or at least realized he’s willing to do anything for you. But he came to the conclusion it was a bad idea. You moved to get away from him, he had to respect that.

Rafael and Lucia arrived in front of your house. You noticed the car through the window and told Edu his father was there. The little boy ran from the backyard to his father and his grandmother. “I miss you so much, cariño,” Rafael said, holding his son tight.

You went out of the house to greet your ex mother-in-law, “Hola mija, it’s good to see you,” she said. You hadn’t seen her since you left DC months ago.

“Papi, I have a disney wall in my room! Wanna see it?”

Rafael looked at you for approval and you gave it. The four of you walked inside the house. The first people Rafael saw, were Tony and Tim. Tony had his thumb in his mouth, “What the hell did you do DiNozzo?” you asked.

“He took his thumb for the screw,” Tim laughed and so did Edu.

“Oh, you think it’s funny, little cubano?” Tony told your son, playfully.

“Uh-oh,” you heard Edu say. He knew he was in trouble. He started to run in the house, chased by Tony. “Sorry,” you mouthed to Rafael, who stayed silent. What the hell did he do? Not only he lost you but you changed, and his son too. He lost his family, for good. He watched his boy getting grab by a man with silver hair. The guy gave a gentle kick to the one that was chasing Edu.

“Thank you uncle Gibbs,”

“Always, my bud,”

Being his over dramatic self, Tony was on the floor, holding his stomach. “Boss has a new favorite, I’m gonna die,”

“Cause you thought you once were my favorite?” Gibbs snapped.

“Bye cruel world,” Tony said, holding his chest and pretending to die. Edu took advantages of it and jumped on the italian agent. “Okay, I’m alive again,”

You and Rafael were watching them until you felt his hand on your arm. You looked at him, “Can we talk outside, por favor?” he asked. You told Lucia to sit on a chair and you joined Rafael on the porch’s stairs. “You look good,” he started to say. “Not just physically. You look like you’re in a good place with your life,”

“I am,” you agreed.

“I’m glad. If you’re happy, I’m happy,”

“Go to the point, Rafael,”

“I’m dating Olivia,” he confessed.

“Son of a--” you exclaimed but realized the house’s door was open. “Are you fucking serious, right now?”

“Why do you care? Which one are you dating? ‘Uncle Tony’? ‘Uncle Tim’? ‘Uncle Gibbs’? Huh?”

You were furious. For many reasons. He was dating someone before you even did, and moreover, it’s the woman he cheated on you with. That’s the ultimate betrayal to you.

“One second,” you showed your finger in the air and went back inside the house. You came back a moment later, followed by Gibbs. You dragged him outside the house and stood right in front of Rafael. You took a breath and kissed Gibbs. All teeth and tongues. Right under your husband’s eyes. Your boss definitely didn’t fight you. He actually deepen the kiss, holding you by your waist, making your body arch.

Tony was the first to see it - of course - and he called Tim. They were like kids watching their dad kissing the new beautiful woman of the neighborhood. You and Gibbs broke apart when you heard Rafael calling for Eduardo.

“We will definitely talk about that later,” Gibbs told you.

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