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furiousgoldfish · 8 months

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Which ones of these arbitrary trauma-induced rules do you follow?

No spending money, ever. what if you need it later and your life depends on it.

Assume that all strangers are 3 seconds close to becoming hostile. fawn to keep them friendly.

No delegating tasks. no telling other people to do things you could potentially do yourself. what if they mess up.

Assume that everyone will consider you a burden if you do 1 single mistake that inconveniences them. do all that is possible to not make that mistake.

Do not admit when things are going wrong. wait until theres no other option but to ask for help, and even then consider not doing that.

Always act like you're okay. not doing so might make you seem 'not normal' and 'accused of being crazy and unstable'.

Do anything for friends, even if it sounds weird, dodgy, illegal. you want to prove that you're fun and easy going and helpful and useful and extremely cool with anything.

Never let it show if you're suspicious of someone. never say out loud that you think their intentions are bad. that might set them off.

If hurt, hide and isolate. Do not let anyone see you hurt.

Do not ask help for problems you feel are your own responsibility to solve. Even if you don't see yourself solving them successfully. If you can't do it, assume nobody can help you.

Help others to try and build positive relationships. Don't accept help so you don't end up relying on them for anything.

Do not start things that involve help or participation from other people. People are not reliable.

Assume that institutions, government, police, social services, and any kind of groups of people are all considering you a nuisance, and would attack you on sight, in every single situation. Never rely on them or assume they would do anything else.

No arguing, confronting, or standing up for yourself unless the situation is absolutely unsurvivable otherwise. Lay low until doing otherwise is seriously damaging your mental health and ability to live.

Give up on hopeful social encounters before they disappoint you. If you have to interact with people, assume the worst is about to happen.

No allowing yourself to idealize, or dream of positive future with people. It's a trap and your expectations need to be either extremely realistic or low.

Assume that fancy and expensive things don't exist for you. Despise them and get away from them.

No comparing yourself and your life to how other people live. It causes depression and despair. Other people's lives and standards of living are none of your business.

Do not showcase any skill or brag about any achievement. Jealous people can destroy you for satisfaction.

Assume people think the worst of you and don't consider changing their mind. Just try to keep out of their way.

Do not display anger. You don't want to be called insane or get arrested. You don't know what people could potentially blame you for if you're openly angry. But other angry people are dangerous and you need to get away from them.

If you follow more than half of these, you have a trauma-induced problem. These are not normal or healthy. These are not developed in a healthy environment. These are extremely self-protective, isolating, ruled by terror of the world and the people living in it. If you follow these, something bad has been done to you.

#trauma rules #living in trauma #consequences of trauma #social anxiety #aftermath of abuse #aftermath of trauma #trauma induced rules #long term abuse #consequences of abuse #extreme self-reliance

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ambrosiagourmet · 3 months

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I want to talk about why I think this is the one of the most important Falin panels:

So, Falin is really nice, right? It's one of the first things we really learn about her. She's kind even to the monsters of the dungeon - choosing to ward the party rather than fight spirits and cause them needless harm.

In the above early flashback in chapter 11, we see Marcille fawning over Falin's kindness, calling her an angel. Namari calls her soft-hearted. We see Falin choose not to fight even when a zombie attacks - instead she resolves the confrontation with a hug. After the flashback, the first thing Senshi says is that Falin "sounds like quite the person," which Marcille strongly affirms.

At this point in the story, all we have seen of Falin are these impressions; she is a healer, an angel, a caretaker with an infinite well of kindness towards everyone she meets - both friend and foe.

And honestly, that remains most of what we have to go by to understand her. The only times we get to see Falin on the page, alive and just herself, are in the opening and closing pages of the story and in the brief period of time after she is resurrected.

Nonetheless, we do have some more details to work with. For one, there is the scene that The Panel is from - a short memory in chapter 75, when Marcille flashes back to while she's dying. In that scene, Falin prepares to teleport them all out, and says that she's sorry "if there is a person at [their] destination." And that's when we get The Panel.

If you teleport someone or something into another person, the person teleported into is likely to be, at minimum, severely injured. They could die.

We can see a lovely little horrifying example of exactly why in one of the Daydream Hour doodles:

So, hmm. That's not... that's not SUPER nice. Certainly not displaying the same "kindness to all, friend and foe included" we saw represented earlier. On a basic level, this adds some nuance to Falin's kindness. We see it break a little, when pushed to the limit. We see her chose to protect the people she loves above all else.

Which makes sense! As Laios says when the Winged Lion accuses him of similarly being motivated more by his friends' safety than everyone else in the dungeon, "...most people, aside from virtuous do-gooders, would feel the same way."

So, we can take The Panel as simply showing a moment of weakness for Falin. A time when she was pushed to her limits, and that "most people" selfish side of her shone through.

However... I think there's a little more going on with Falin than just her being an angel 99% of the time, except just that once. I love The Panel because I think it helps us understand that Falin isn't just motivated by kindness - she also has a desire to avoid seeing people in pain.

Isn't that the same thing?

No, no it very much is not.

Let's look at a short comic from the Falin section of the Adventurer's Bible, because I think it illustrates this point perfectly. The group is complaining about how much Marcille's healing hurts, and comparing it to Falin's, which "doesn't hurt a bit." Marcille retorts with the following:

Now, the punchline of this comic is that, despite Marcille's sentimental assertion that she's "thinking of [them]" by letting her healing magic hurt, they all still prefer to be healed by Falin.

But hey, this wouldn't be the first time that Dungeon Meshi hides a very real character beat or insight in a gag, so let's think about this somewhat seriously.

If Marcille is right (and she knows a fair bit about magic, so we can assume that she has at least somewhat of a point), then what Falin is doing isn't kind. I suppose if someone specifically requested to not feel the pain, it could be kind, but that's not really what happened here. She is the one who felt badly about the others being in pain, and she is the one who decided, without telling them or giving them a choice in the matter, to take away that pain.

Both Marcille and Falin are healing the party, but Marcille is doing it in a way that accomplishes the task in the most straight forward way, without any additional interference. Falin is going out of her way to perform the healing in a way she is more comfortable with. A way that avoids pain.

Going back the The Panel, I don't think its a coincidence that the only time we see Falin (well, non-chimera Falin) willing to do something that could hurt someone is when any potential pain will be far away from her. If she got someone hurt or killed by teleporting the party to the surface? Not only would it be far out of her sight, but she'd be dead before she had to deal with any consequences of that action.

Falin is not a confrontational person. She doesn't push when Marcille won't tell her the truth about the resurrection, and she comforts Laios about her own death - both of those things happening in the only full chapter she is alive and conscious in the whole story.

We also know that she considered accepting Shuro's proposal, despite not having any special feelings towards him, and that Falin never explained to Marcille that she wanted them to share a meal together. When she brought Marcille various foods at the academy, she just accepted Marcille's confused rejection and gave up.

And lastly, we know that she is still in contact with her parents, despite the neglect and abuse she suffered at their hands. Although the way someone chooses to handle contact with abusive or bad family is a complicated topic, which I don't want to overly simplify, I do I think this fact gets at the heart of how she handles conflict.

So many people that Falin loves have hurt her. There are understandable hurts, like Laios leaving the village, or Marcille not understanding the food. And there are bigger, far less justifiable hurts - like her parents neglecting her throughout her childhood, and sending her away to be alone at the magic academy.

It doesn't seem like Falin has ever confronted any of it directly.

And the unhealthy aspects of this kind of avoidance of pain and confrontation is one of the things that the story of Dungeon Meshi is all about. We see Laios grapple with it before he goes to kill Falin, and we see Marcille acknowledge it at the end of the story, when she tells Laios that she has come to terms with Falin's death:

Eating is a part of life. Consuming other living things is a part of life. It isn't really possible to avoid that pain - you can only hide from the truth of it. You have to be selfish everyday. You have to eat - to choose to live. To choose to take up space.

And this is something Falin embraces, too. She comes back to life, after all.

We see her choose to come back to life.

And how does she make that choice? She eats. She consumes, and then she is asked a question by the manifestation of hunger itself:

Do you want to eat more?

There is a double meaning in the Winged Lion's final words on the next page.

When I first read this, I took it as him saying: life is cruel. You will suffer. You will feel more pain.

But perhaps, especially for Falin, this also means: you are choosing a path where you must cause pain. Where you must consume. Where you must take, and must be selfish. Because eating is the special privilege of the living, and it is their burden, too. In order to stay alive, she will need to keep eating.

And she chooses that. Chooses to be selfish. It's why her resurrection scene is so important, and it's why The Panel is so important. Because Falin coming back isn't the ultimate reward for all of the party's hard work.

It's her choice. Just like it was her choice that started everything in the first place. But this time, she doesn't choose to accept causing pain for the sake of Marcille and Laios. She does it for her own sake.

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #falin touden #dunmeshi analysis #I love it when dungeon meshi says. the trauma was real and it changed you #and the way you are because of it isn’t anything to be ashamed of #but you have to keep living. you have to chose to keep living.#and you can #dungeon meshi spoilers

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rainywhispersblog · 5 months

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yellowtrinity · 11 months

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building my case for why edgeworth should have adopted polly the parrot after... you know

#on the one hand - living with a loud reminder of one's trauma that one must learn to nurture #on the other - funny bird lol #ace attorney #miles edgeworth #aa #my art #the fact that i've drawn this parrot more than any other aa character.....

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borderlineangel222 · 2 years

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it’s unfair how i have the responsibility to heal myself when i didn’t cause my wound in the first place

#actually borderline #bpd favorite person #living with borderline #diagnosed borderline #bpd thoughts #actually bpd #borderline personality disorder #bpd awareness #ptsd #ptsdwarrior #living with ptsd #ptsd thoughts #generational trauma #trauma #childhood trauma #daddy issues #father issues #mommy issues

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girlyteengirl16 · 6 months

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as i get older i really do understand why people abuse substances now

#tw drugs #mentally unstable #trauma #tw depressing stuff #mental abuse #i wanna kms #i want to be okay #pls help me #i’m so tired of living #im so tired of being me #i want to end it all #mentally tired #tw depressing thoughts

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spoopdeedoop · 2 months

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au where they’re all human and best friends and nothing ever goes wrong ever

#my art #too much trauma let them all live out their quiet sitcom lives #doctor who #doctor who fanart #bbc doctor who #these three are my favourite doctors i will figure out how to draw the others soon i promise #tenth doctor #10th doctor #eleventh doctor #11th doctor #thirteenth doctor #13th doctor #tenth doctor fanart #eleventh doctor fanart #thirteenth doctor fanart #jodie whittaker #matt smith #david tennant #starlight strings au

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bipolarmango · 2 years

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Wild things I have learnt in therapy:

When a child cries, parents are supposed to comfort them, not punish them

Parents are, in fact, supposed to want to spend time with their children

Children too have a right to privacy, meaning parents are not allowed to read their diaries etc and then punish them for the thoughts they found about

Children are allowed to be upset and cry

Children don't have to earn the love and attention from their parents by performing various things

Children are not supposed to be scared of going home and/or their parents

Children are not supposed to be physically abused and even a little bit of hitting is actually physical abuse

Parents are not supposed to expect that children are mentally as mature as other adults

Children are not supposed to be told that they're an accident, a burden, or something the parents regret

Children are not supposed to be scared and ashamed of themselves or feel like failures because of their parents

#childhood ptsd #complex post traumatic stress disorder #childhood trauma #actually mentally ill #ptsd #living with ptsd #ptsd problems #complex ptsd #ptsd recovery

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c-0-yote-teeth · 8 months

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furiousgoldfish · 2 years

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For the kids who are currently in an abusive home, who feel like there’s never going to be anything else in life for them, who don’t believe they can ever escape or be free of their parents:

This is how you’ve been raised to think. And, it’s true your parents control you and your life as long as you live there. It’s true that life right now, for you, is hell. It’s also true that you don’t deserve this, and it’s true that it’s not going to be this way forever. Because, abusive parents can keep a child against their will in their home. But nobody can keep an adult trapped forever trapper where they don’t want to be. The power of growing up is kept from you, you’re not informed of all the privileges, rights, or freedoms you will have, your parents will, in fact, insist that you don’t have any of it, but they will struggle more and more to keep you imprisoned, because at that point it’s keeping an adult human being contained against their will, and nobody can keep that up forever.

Abusive parents will make it harder, and they will inflict illnesses, mental disorders, trauma and disability on you, they will make sure you’re too sick at times to do anything, that you’re too scared, anxious, or even brainwashed to believe that you will die if you ever escape them; some will threaten to kill you if you do, some will try to make you feel like you’re a horrible person if you do. And still, it’s not possible to keep you forever. They’re, at that point, using extreme and extensive strategies to force a human being who wants to leave, to not leave. If you were soo helpless and incapable, they would never have to go this far, they’d never have to make you feel bad, or traumatize you, or brainwash you into thinking you can’t leave, they would just leave you be. The fact that they go this far reveals that they’re desperate, that they have to work very, very hard to keep you contained. That it’s not easy to keep you against your will. That it’s a great strain they have to go thru. And that means they know you can escape. They know if they worked less on sabotaging you, you’d be gone already.

Some of them will convince you that it’s the lack of knowledge, skills, experience, capability, and ‘real life’ that will stop you from surviving out there (casually omitting that they were supposed to teach you all that but didn’t), but, at this point, you can learn anything, ANYTHING about survival on the internet, and not only you can learn it, you can learn the most advanced, most detailed and effective version of it. I know it sucks, having to google and research every single thing online instead of being taught like a person, but the skills and information you can gain online, is often far superior from what your parents know. Skills are always developing, knowledge is expanding, and you have the access to the latest and most extensive version, whatever survival skills or information was kept from you, you can find and learn online, better than your own parents know it.

As long as you can get any type of income, you will be able to rent a place and survive. I didn’t believe this, and I kept being terrified of the idea that I won’t be able to make it, for years and years, and in the end, everything was so much more easily learned than I could even hope it to be. Moving away and finding my way in life was insanely, ridiculously easier than surviving in an abusive household. It wasn’t even comparable. What you are doing right now, surviving with abusers, is 9999999% harder than living on your own. You are already doing the hardest thing in the world.

And if you think that moving away, cutting contact and getting free isn’t a good option, or isn’t worth it, imagine this:

You are no longer being yelled at. By anyone. Ever.

Nobody is ever going to threaten you with violence again. Nobody is ever going to inflict violence on you again.

Nobody is controlling what you do, what you eat, where you go, when you sleep, when you wake, what work you do, what you wear, what you do with your time. You can do any activity you like, for the rest of time, and receive no criticism, no shaming, no blaming, no humiliation.

Nobody is putting any limits on where you go to and who you hang out with. You can choose any friends or relationships you want, freely. Nobody is going to meddle in it or try to manipulate any of it.

You are regarded as a person by other human beings. People meet you and assume nothing else but that you’re a person, and talk to you as an equal.

There’s no limit to having fun. You can do any fun activity you want, for however long you want to. No shame, no ‘wasting time’, nobody forcing you to stop and do chores or do favours for them.

You can build your life without anyone trying to bring it down. You can save up and do whatever you want to do with that money. Everything you do is yours, everything you make is yours.

Nobody is ever again going to tell you to ‘act your age’ or ‘why don’t you know this already’. You learn at your own pace and you feel good about all of it.

You are never again told that you’re ‘not good enough’ or punished for something you did or didn’t do. There are no more rules. You make the rules now. No hierarchy above you. You are the complete authority on your life. You do whatever the hell you want, and there’s not a thing in the world you’re not ‘good enough’ for.

Nobody is going to make you feel bad for making your decisions the way you do. Nobody is convincing you that you’re a bad person because you do as you like. Nobody is going to call you selfish for taking care of yourself.

Nobody is ever again going to take your confidence away once you build it up. You will be allowed to feel good about yourself.

And this, is something worth fighting for. This is what’s being taken away from you. This is normal, human and healthy to have. This is what every human being should have. It’s devastating that you don’t have it right now, that it’s being wrenched from your life without you being able to do anything about it. You deserve this. You deserve your living space, your space to be free. And you never deserved anything less than it.

#escaping abuse #abusive parents #child abuse #psychological abuse #escape sabotage #living in abuse #living in trauma #abuse #toxic parents #controlling parents #parents brainwashing kids to disable escape #parents inflicting illnesses on kids to stop them from moving away #manipulative parents

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scarlett-vixen · 11 months

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*All the brothers entering Lucifer’s study*

Asmo: You wanted to see us Lucifer?

*Lucifer’s chair turns around revealing MC*

MC: Lucifer is no longer with us

Beel, dropping to his knees: HE’S DEAD???? NO! IT SHOULD’VE BEEN ME!!

MC: WHOA! Beel!! Lucifer isn’t dead, he’s on vacation for three days!

Beel, wiping tears away and standing: Thank you for the clarification….

#obey me #obey me shall we date #omswd #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me beelzebub #obey me mc #obey me lucifer #it’s called trauma sweaty #this has been living in my brain every since that one lesson or event #where lucifer left for a few days or something #anyway this quote fit them too well #source: gravity falls

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wilcze-kudly · 2 months

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So um. I genuinely don't have many thoughts on the live action atla. It looks fine.. i guess

Except. Zuko's scar.

It's so... underwhelming. Like yeah it's there. It's red and it has a little bit of texture. But I guess i was hoping the live action would make it a little more prominent.

Like I'm a burn victim myself, who very much went through a similar struggle Zuko did. Where i felt like my scars define me. This. This feels not like what i hoped for. They even let him keep his eyebrow 😤

And I'm hoping that it's just because it wasn't practical to go all out with it. Like it was too expensive to put full prosthetics and special effects on such a young actor for every shoot.

But i have this sinking feeling in my gut that its because he's 'meant to be attractive'. Or even more heartbreakingly, that making it bigger would be considered too 'gory' or 'body horror'.

And im just tired of seeing scars and other 'deformities' as being seen as something to only be shown in full capacity in horror movies. That it would be too visceral or too 'gross' to fully show. It reinforces the idea that people like Zuko, people like me have something inherently disgusting and ugly about us. That our features have to be toned down in order to be palatable to a wider audience.

I remember seeing Zuko for the first time as a kid and seeing a part of myself that was rarely represented. I was bullied for my skin grafts as a child. Of course i was, kids are cruel. But seeing Zuko go through the struggles i went through and to have him find people who didn't treat him differently was so important to me. Like to me, that part of his story was arguably more important than his redemption arc.

And seeing Zuko seen as attractive by people in the fandom was also a profound experience. Because it felt like i could too exist in my full burnt chicken nugget glory and still be treated as a full person. Not looked at with pity or disgust.

So that's why live action Zuko's scar is such a disappointment to me.

I have other thoughts on the atla remake but really, they don't matter that much, since i don't think ill be watching it

#whoa this turned into a lil trauma dump sorry about that lol #zuko #atla #avatar: the last airbender #la atla #the last airbender #avatar the last airbender #live action atla #live action avatar #live action avatar the last airbender

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lostmf · 3 months

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By @cloe.35mm

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nerdpoe · 13 days

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Young Justice is always a little...concerned. With Phantom's living situation. Now they're outright afraid for him, and Bart has decided it's time to Ask An Adult.

It was the little quips. The tiny little things. Stuff that didn't seem to matter to Phantom at all, or appeared to be normal for him, that he didn't realize weren't normal at all.

"Oh, better not hope my mom catches me." "Doing what, staying out past bedtime?" "Nah, using my powers; she'd vivisect me!"

"Another stab wound. Great." "Don't worry Phantom, I've got the med kit-" "Oh, I'm not a baby or anything, I can handle it just fine. Just gimme a sec to take it out."

"My dad has better aim than that." "...Like, when he's hunting, right?" "...At what other times would he be shooting at me?"

"Huh. Not as bad as my parents place. Look; they have a decontamination shower!" "Phantom, this lab has been vandalized to the point of needing a hazmat suit." "Did I stutter?"

Finding out each others identities did nothing to soothe the worry. Tim quietly told the others that every time he tried to run facial recognition, he kept hitting a government firewall he couldn't breach. Phantom never told them his last name, just his first, and 'Danny' is super common.

The thing that really did it though, the thing that made Bart snap and run off to ask Max, was when Danny had a nightmare.

He was talking in his sleep.

"No. Don't-stop. Stoooop. I need...my skin. Mom, no. You can't...peel off...my skin..."

Bart didn't even wait for them to wake Danny up before he was standing in front of Max, talking a mile a minute as he tried to figure out what to do, with Wally staring in horror over a plate of waffles as he computed everything that Bart was saying.

~~~~~~

Danny had a dream about his mom and Skulker arguing about how to skin him. He wouldn't really call it a nightmare, because it was just Skulker, but the scariest thing was Skulker insisting to his mom that it was possible to skin him with a potato peeler. Dream mom was arguing that it was not, and that from a scientific standpoint that was a really piss poor way to preserve a specimen.

He hadn't been begging them to stop hurting him, he'd been whining at them to knock it off.

But when he wakes up, it's to a room full of worried friends and an old man who calls himself Max.

"Kid, I think we need to talk."

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #phanfic #story prompt #first convo was with cassie #second was with bart #third was with kon #fourth was with tim #max is fully prepared to take in another kid #bart is fully prepared to share #wally went to dick to ask him to put his detective training to work and find phantom's parents #wally was just visiting max #catching up #shooting the shit #when suddenly bart comes in and just trauma dumps about one of the other young justice heroes #who is apparently in a super abusive situation #and probably needs help #body horror tw #skinning tw #but only mentioned in the context of a super weird dream #danny's living situation COULD use some improvements #but it's not as bad as everyone thinks #anti ecto acts are still a thing #but as long as danny is with young justice the GIW leave him alone so #eh #not like they're good at their jobs anyways #max is about to blow his mind with the following information #“you are not okay. it's okay to not be okay. but kid. you need help and we're offering.”

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girlyteengirl16 · 3 months

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i should’ve killed myself when i was a kid

#mentally unstable #i wanna kms #tw depressing stuff #i want to be okay #mental abuse #tw depressing thoughts #i’m so tired of living #i just want to feel okay for once #i wanna gts forever #honk shoo mimimimi #trauma #mentally tired

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psychocitysblog · 10 months

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I wake up everyday just waiting to go back to bed.

#kinda depressing #depressing shit #this is depressing #bpd #bpd shit #depressing life #sorry for being depressing #tw depressing thoughts #actually bpd #bpd mood #childhood ptsd #ptsd problems #living with ptsd #ptsd #ptsdlife #trauma #dissociative identity disorder #help help help

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