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zombiec · 5 months

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Crush | Toji Fushiguro

(Reader Gender not specified but reader has male genitalia)

(Sukuna and itadori are twins) (Megumi, Sukuna, and itadori are in kindergarten)

Synopsis ☆: You may have a small crush on your sons friends dad and he may have a crush on you back

Warnings: Breeding kink, choking , degradation , ass eating , nipple play (a little bit)

“Sukuna please get off that!!!” ”no!” You sighed. You haven’t even stepped inside the class yet and one of your kids was already causing problems. Atleast you know your other demon child wasn’t acting out. “Yuuji don’t climb up there too. I just told your brother to get down ” you dead panned. They’re both trouble makers. It was pick up time at their kindergarten and you were honestly kind of early. You love your sons with all your heart but they’re so much trouble, especially when put together. You told the school to put them in different classes but they didn’t listen. Whose fault is that? Not yours, you warned them.

You felt bad for their teacher though. Ms.Russell, She was really sweet. She has long, black, wavy hair and is chubby. She’s also really short, like 5’4. You honestly find her really adorable. On teacher appreciation day and holidays you always bring her gift cards because you feel bad she got stuck with your kids.

You walked inside the class filled with little children running around. You spotted the twins, standing on top of a book shelf that’s atleast 4 feet tall. ‘Oh my fucking god.’ You see Ms.Russel infront of sukuna and yuuji looking worried, and trying to coax them into coming down. Sukuna is just laughing in her face, while you saw yuuji jump down from the shelf and run off to his friend. You let out a huff and walk towards them. “Sukuna” he flinches at the stern tone in your voice. He immediately stops laughing at the teacher and jumps off the shelf. Ms.Russel looks at you and sighs in relief.

“Oh Mr.itadori! I’m so glad you’re here, he just wouldn’t listen to me today” you smiled at her relief but then frowned after realizing Sukuna was causing her trouble all day “Hi Ms.Russell, I’m sorry about him I’m sure he would like to apologize” you said nudging Sukuna who was standing beside you looking at the floor with a frown, fidgeting with his fingers. “I’m sorry Ms Russell,this will not happen again ” he reluctantly said. He’s had to apologize so many times he knows exactly what to say. “Now go get your things so we can leave” Sukuna walked away with a little frown on his face. He knows once you 3 get home that he’s gonna be in trouble.

“DADDYYYY” you heard your other hard headed child yell running towards you. He jumped and you caught him. Yuuji giggled and you laughed poking his nose. You looked to Ms.Russell and asked “was this one good today?” Yuuji took a little offense to that. “Hey! I’m always good” you looked at him with a ‘are you serious’ look. He just hugged you to hide his face in your neck out of embarrassment.

“Yes he was good today, I didn’t have to tell him multiple times to listen like usual” you silently cheered. “Good job yuuji” he giggled and signaled for you to put him down. You put him down and he went to get his things. Ms.Russel walked away from you seeing other parents start to enter. Both Sukuna and yuuji come over with their things on. “You ready to go boys” you said ready to dip. “Wait can we stay till megumis dad comes” yuuji yelled out. You don’t know why he’s always so loud but oh well. “Pleaseeeee” both twins said in unison. You looked at them with your eyebrow raised ‘Did they plan that?’ “Fine” you said and sat in one of the really short chairs that were for kindergarteners. Sukuna and yuuji dropped their bags off by your leg and went to play with megumi.

You knew megumi and his father. They literally live right across from you. You can’t even lie you think his dad is so sexy. He’s got muscular arms but a slim waist, his thighs look so thick and soft you just want him to lock them around your head and never let go. His hooded eyes that look almost seductive, and that scar on his lip made him look alluring. How could you even forget about his big fat titties. The way they bulge through his shirts, you just be wanting to rip his shirt off and take him whenever you see him.

Pulling you out of your thoughts about the spikey haired boys father Sukuna, Megumi, and Yuuji came over. “Daddy can we have a sleepover with Megumi?” Sukuna asked you. “You can’t you two are going to uncle Gojos house this weekend” “aw man I forgot about that” yuuji said and walked away sadly with megumi and a sulking Sukuna.

You heard the door open and looked towards it. In walked the one and only Toji fushiguro. You almost started drooling. He was wearing a blue, black, and white windbreaker jacket with grey sweat shorts. His sexy tan muscular legs on display. You watched him walk towards megumi and talk to him. The way his lips moved was so attractive his plump pink lips, they look so juicy and cute you just wanted to kiss him breathless. You were so mesmerized you didn’t even realize he was walking towards you.

“You just gonna keep staring?” He had a slight smirk on his face that you wanted to wipe off. You stood up “what’s gonna happen if I don’t” he chuckled. “I’d say you have a little crush on me” his gorgeous eyes held a playful and teasing gaze, you were hypnotized “he does” you both jumped a little and looked to your left. Your son yuuji was standing there staring up at you and Toji with an innocent look.”he does have a crush on you” Your kids knew you liked Toji. They seen the way you looked at him when he’s doing yard work or doing literally anything. You weren’t embarrassed at all. You’ve been meaning to ask out Toji but your schedule got in the way.

“Really?” Toji asked yuuji who nodded. “Yea he said you’re really handsome especially while doing yard work” alright now he was embarrassing you. You nervously chuckled and told yuuji to go stand by the door with Sukuna and megumi. Toji looked at you and grinned “so you have a crush on me?” You stepped a little closer towards him “I guess you could say that.” Before anything else could be said you were yelled at “DADDY LETS GO” you smirked looking at Toji your gaze lingering on him until you reached your children. “Sukuna and yuuji let’s go” you 3 walked out to your car.

The Next day after that was Saturday and your kids were at their uncle Gojos house. You missed your babies because now you have nothing to do. Suddenly the bell rang. You stood up from your comfortable spot on the couch and walked to the door. Opening it you were surprised to see Toji there. “Oh! What’re you doing here” “Megumi is with his mother” you didn’t understand where he was going with this till he pushed you inside your house and closed the door behind you. “What’re you doi-“ “shut up” Toji said as he pulled you by your shirt and kissed you.

You immediately kissed him back and pushed him up against the door. Toji groaned and pulled you closer by the back of your neck. You pick him up and brought him to the couch. You sat on the couch while you placed Toji on your lap . You groaned and pressed his ass on your buldge. He moaned and rubbed his ass on it “I want it” you smirked and wrapped your hand around his throat “beg for it ” you put light pressure on the hand that was wrapped around tojis neck and you felt his breath hitch

“Please~ please I need it so bad” you flipped Toji on the couch and spread his legs open. You kissed down his neck and left hickies on his skin. When you sat back up and looked down at him you were mesmerized. His eyes looked dazed and his lips were pink and puffy from the kiss. His neck littered with purple hickies and his legs wide open. You pulled your shirt off and slipped off your shorts. You then leaned down to Toji and nudged at his shirt “this is in the way” you said then ripped off his white wife beater. Toji gasped and lightly hit your arm “why’d you do that i could’ve just taken it off.” You shrugged and said “too much work” before Toji could respond he got cut off with a high pitch moan when you licked at one of his nipples. “Ah~ s-stop” you ignored his words and grabbed at his other titty to flick and pinch at his pink puffy nipple.

You moved to his other nipple to do the same and his back arched into you. You kissed down to his waist line and pulled down his sweatpants. He was NOT wearing any underwear. You chuckled and slapped his thigh. “You really came over here with no underwear on? You wanted it that bad?” “S-shut up.” You took his pants all the way off and spread his legs wide open to see his pink hole.

You leaned down to his hole and stuck your tongue inside. “Ah~ w-what’re you doing sto~” he tried to push your head away but you slapped his hand away and gripped his thighs. Pulling him closer so your tongue can hit deeper into his ass. You wriggled your tongue around in his hole and he squeezed his thighs around your head. You felt a bump which you believed was his prostate by the way he immediately snapped his legs shut around your head and squealed. “FUCK RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE PLEASE~” he was grinding back on your tongue and you started eating him out more aggressively.

You could tell he was about to cum by the way his body started to shake. “Fuck k-keep going I-I’m going to cum” his head snapped back but right before he could cum you pulled away. “No no no no What’re you doing please….” He begged he looked so fucked out and he hadn’t even had your dick burried in him yet.

You ignored his pleas and turned him around so he’s on his hands and knees on the couch. “What’re you-“ you slapped his ass so he could shut up. He let out a loud moan at the action. You smirked “you liked that slut?” He let out a little whimper and you grabbed him by his hair. You spread his ass cheeks open and guided your dick in his hole. He moaned so loud. “I only put the tip in and you’re already moaning like a little bitch” tojis eyes widened. What do you mean you only put the tip in? He already felt like you were stretching him so much. You pushed the rest of yourself in him and he felt himself start tearing up. Your dick is so big and is stretching him so wide.

You didn’t move for a few to let Toji adjust to your size. You didn’t think you were that big you were like 7 or 8 inches, it was slightly thick and you were circumcised. You were pretty confident in your dick size. Pulling you out of your thoughts you felt Toji move back a little on your dick signaling for you to start. You moved your hand from his hair and wrapped it around his neck once again. You started to fuck into him causing him to arch his back and push back into you.

“F-Fuck Toji your hole is so tight” you’ve had enough. You get up and grab him by his hips fucking into him. Toji is loving this by the way he moans and practically screams. He just loves how your big cock is destroying his ass he needs you to breed him. He wants to bear your children. He knows he can’t get pregnant but he can’t help but imagine having your kids in addition to the kids you both have now. He’s close to cumming and he’s going to get you to cum inside him. “SHIT IM GONNA CUM IM GONNA CUM” you pull him up still having your hand wrapped around his neck, gripping hard enough he can hardly breathe but he’s loving it.

“Me too, Come on baby cum for me” you bring your hand down to his dick and stroke if in a fast pace. Driving Toji insane he tries to move your hand away because he’s feeling too overstimulated “I-I can’t stop~” you slap his hand away “don’t move my hand you can take it” you used his pre cum to spread it around his head and use it as a type of lube. You rubbed up and down his dick and you could tell by the way he was twitching he was about to cum “come on baby let’s cum together” “yes yes cum in me fill me up” ‘Jesus Christ he was such a whore for your cock’ “you want me to fill this hole and give you my kids” “FUCK YESSSSSS~” you both came simultaneously. You filled him up to the brim a little slipped out.

Toji fell on the couch and was breathing heavily. “You okay?” You said kind of worried. “I’m great.” He said smiling a little “Come on let’s wash you up.”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

This is my first time posting I hope y’all enjoyed >.<

I had to re edit bc apparently a whole 2 paragraphs got deleted 😭😭but you guys still ate it up

@xozombiee

#seme male reader #dom reader #sub jjk #sub toji #top reader #bleh :p

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choicesficwriterscreations · 1 year

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CFWC Writer of the Month: Jamespotterthefirst

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @jamespotterthefirst! We hope you will enjoy learning more about her and her work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog: Jamespotterthefirst Blog Masterlist

1- When did you start playing Choices? What's the first book you played?

I started playing back in 2018. I kept seeing this thing called “playchoices” trending as number 1 on Tumblr (lol remember those days?). This would happen, without fail, almost every week! When I clicked on it, the posts were all about the finale of a royal story (The Royal Romance!). People made the most hilarious posts, complete with memes. I had no idea what it was, but I gathered it was an app. I downloaded it, and the rest is history.

The first book I played was Desire and Decorum. It was absolute torture because it wasn’t completed yet. So I binged the available chapters. Yes, I spent real money on keys and diamonds, telling myself at least I wasn't spending that money on drugs. It was so much fun waiting for a new chapter every week, even if I’m an impatient mess.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined the fandom almost immediately after downloading the app.

As I sat in my living room, tapping my foot and waiting for the new D&D chapter to drop, I went back into the playchoices tag for content. It felt good to find other people who loved the story as much as I did. There were other users out there who were also waiting impatiently for the new chapter, writing fics and discussing theories in the meantime. There were also some of the funniest memes I have ever seen in my life. At first, I would quietly read and reblog. Then, I slowly started posting my own thoughts and theories (which were not very good lol but hey, this is tumblr after all).

3- How did you pick your url name?

My life is one hyperfixation after another… The one before Choices was Harry Potter. More specifically, the Marauders era. I used to write for the pairing called “Jily”, composed of Harry Potter’s (dead) parents. Kelsey (@takeharryandgo) is a witness of just how much I love James Potter, Harry’s (dead) dad. In fact, our shared love for the pairing and character is one of the things that brought us together.

In short, this URL is a reference to James Potter the first, Harry’s (dead) dad. Not James Sirius Potter the second, Harry Potter’s (living?) son.

I saved it as a sideblog, meant only for writing resources for me to use at a later time. One day, I decided I didn’t want the followers on my main page to see all the Choices spam I was posting, so I resurrected the JP blog.

4- Go back to your archive and tell us about the first post on your Choices blog.

My first Choices post was a shitty theory about Desire & Decorum:

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

I’ve been writing fanfiction since I was a literal child. I used to write in a notebook and my friends would read during recess. It was awful but they were into it. One day, I used up the whole notebook and my friend was desperate for the next part of the story. I told her I needed to wait until my mom took me to the store (literal child) to get a new one. My friend got me a new one by the end of the day lol.

TL;DR that puts me at about 20+ years of writing.

6- What is your favorite Choices book to write about?

Without a doubt, Open Heart!

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it or would you change anything about it?

Oh god, the first fanfic I wrote was Lily Evans and James Potter from the Harry Potter universe. I forgot the exact title, but it was named after an Avril Lavigne lyric. Again, I was a child, don’t judge me lol. It’s handwritten in a notebook I still have somewhere, but I will never open it again lest I die of cringe.

My first Choices fic, on the other hand, was a Desire and Decorum fic called “A Wedding Gift” that only like 5 people read at the time.

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Oof. This answer changes depending on the day you ask me. I always overthink it and end up saying picking a favorite fic is like picking a favorite child. To avoid being here all day, however, I’m going to say: Fake Husband, She Walks in Beauty, and Lovely.

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but could use a little more love?

Definitely, the fic I didn’t expect to do well at all if my first Open Heart fic: Lovely.

I was so naive back then, knowing nothing about the Open Heart writing fandom. I had no idea what format or tags to use when posting. I was afraid there would be no readers out there who wanted to read a silly little story about my MC posting a thirst trap. All I knew was that the latest chapter of Open Heart Year 2 inspired an idea that wouldn’t leave me alone until I wrote it.

I posted it and I was so incredibly lucky to receive so much support. Words cannot explain how special that was. To this day, I cannot verbalize how grateful I am for that.

There isn’t really a fic I can think of that could use more love. It always amazes me that anyone gives my fics their time. So any feedback my fics get will always be valued and treasured by me.

10- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Oh no.

If forced to choose, I’d say fluff.

11- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Absolutely! While I try to make every MC different, I often pull from experience when I write. My Open Heart MC and I have a lot of things in common (heritage, hometown, astrological sign, etc.) But I also wanted her to be her own character with life choices that are different from mine. Since I'm very boring, it definitely makes for better fiction that way.

12- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

It depends on the day. Some days I struggle the most with dialogue. Others, my biggest struggle is descriptions. It's rare when I feel confident in both when I write.

13- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

*laughs nervously in unfinished series*

There are a few series I have yet to finish. Once again, I apologize for leaving them untouched for so long! I plan to get my shit together soon!

14- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

No!

I don't think I could look anyone in the eye if they read some of the stuff I've written, especially for Choices.

15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing?

I strongly believe that one of the best ways to learn as a writer is reading. As such, I believe I've learned from most pieces I've read, particularly published rom com novels. In the fanfiction world, I admire my lovely friend @takeharryandgo. I've had the absolute joy of following her writing for over a decade. And with every work, I am still amazed by her masterful way with words! And her characterization is always spot-on. I simply love to read her spellbinding work and learn from the master!

Other writers/creators I admire are:

@heauxplesslydevoted- one of the first OH writers I've ever read! Her smut is top-tier!

@jerzwriter - her stories, dialogue, and characterization are a delight to read. Her angst is painful. Her smut is sizzling hot!

@liaromancewriter - a true master at romance! Her writing style is magical and synonymous with the best of rom-coms!

@genevievemd - I bow down because the amount of love and care she puts into every piece truly makes her work special!

@lucy-268 - I have always respected the amount of research she puts into every piece. She pours so much care into it so that the narrative flows seamlessly!

@a-crepusculo - her writing is so vivid and immersive. Reading her work is like listening to the most beautiful of symphonies!

@writer-ish - she is such a master at the craft! Her characterization is so vivid that the reader will fall in love no matter the format. Her text edits are legendary!

@bex-la-get - such a talented and dedicated writer! She also pours hours of research into her work, ensuring every detail makes sense!

@potionsprefect - she's such a creative and talented writer. She develops writing ideas like no one else I've ever seen!

@headoverheelsforramsey- I love her storytelling and characterization! She's created a beautiful, inspiring, and intelligent MC for all of us to adore!

@gryffindordaughterofathena - her writing style is one of the most original I've ever seen. Reading her work feels like reading the loveliest of poetry!

@coffeeheartaddict2- the dedication she puts into her work blows me away! She's daring when exploring themes in her writing, and she's not afraid to pull from personal experience.

@lsvdw-blog - the person I'm sending my therapy bill to. Just kidding! Her writing is beautiful, even when it's the most painful angst.

@trappedinfanfiction - she is such a lovely writer. The amount of detail she's given both of her MC's back stories has my absolute respect!

@quixoticdreamer16 - I adore her MC and the wholesome, beautiful background she's given her!

@mysticalgalaxysstuff - Another MC that has stolen my heart. I am so happy she started writing this past year because she's a real talent!

@peonierose - love her beautiful MC and the beautiful love story she built for her with Bryce!

@cariantha - a brilliant writer with talent for days!

16- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series?

I would love to see She Walks in Beauty along with its series (1800s AU) in live action. Imagine Ana de Armas and David Gandy in period costumes? That alone would be worth it!

17- Do you write original stories?

I've crafted and outlined original stories before but I've never actually written them. One of my biggest goals for the new year is to finally start. Wish me luck!

18 - What other hobbies do you have?

I love reading, hiking, and dancing!

Yes, I picked the most “impressive” of my hobbies to seem cool. On most days, you'll catch me cuddling with my dog or bf watching YouTube/TikTok/Hell's Kitchen reruns lol.

19 - What’s your favorite emoji?

I used the orange 🧡 and purple 💜 hearts a lot because they're my favorite colors!

20: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

For the record, I am also contractually obligated to read anything Kelsey writes 😘

Thank you so much to every single reader who has given my work a chance these past three years!

Thank you to the wonderful mods of CFWC for all you do to support writers in the Fandom!

#choices fic writers creations #writer of the month #cfwc writer of the month #jamespotterthefirst #open heart choices #open heart

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ameonds-dragonn · 1 year

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Nevermore Wednesday x HOTD

I watched Wednesday and thought of the Targaryens being there. I made an OC after Dany but she has dark hair and purple eyes. But she is literally 21st century Dany. No hate to Wednesday she is my home girl! This for plot! . Also thank you @valeskafics for loving my idea and hyping me up to post it!

Summary: daenerys Targaryen is the oldest daughter of Daemon, his half witch half shape shifter child. The very best and ugly of him in a female body, her visions and intuition helps her in Nevermore. She is there with her sightly older cousin, Aemond. Half vampire half shifter. She is madly in love with the resident artist, Xavier Thorpe.

Daenerys Targaryen, daughter of Daemon and Rhea Targaryen, witch and dreamer. Heiress to Daemons company and part owner of Targaryen international, her uncle’s company. The family company, 9 generations strong.

Y/n’s family had witches, dreamers, shape shifters to vampires. Aunt Ali made that into the line, her cousins were half vamps and half shifters. Her step sisters were shifters like their father and her step mother. This never affected the family business crashing, thankfully everyone kept their powers under wraps. Most of them, Aegon, her older cousin was in and out of magazines for his behavior. Uncle Viserys shipped him to Nevermore academy to help him with his powers. Aegon was too blood thirsty to ever be ceo, Rheanyra was in line to inherit it anyways.

Nevermore wasn’t bad like Aegon had put it, he hated authority, being away from his mother. Nobody put up with his shit that’s how Aemond put it at least. Aegon wasn’t wrong about Thornhill, something smelled off about her. I made friends unlike Aegon. Yoko was my roommate, my sister away from home. Bianca, surprisingly. She was misunderstood, needed someone to listen to her. Underneath her typical mean girl exterior was a sad, lonely girl who wanted love from someone. Xavier, is my best friend in the whole world. We met at my family’s annual gala, his father dumped money into our company.

I was 12 and Xavier was 11, I found him sitting on the staircase, crying. His father had yelled at him for showing his powers off to my cousin, Daeron. A simple rabbit came alive off the page and danced in front of the toddler. I never seen the chubby boy until a year ago, when I started Nevermore. Weems assigned Xavier to be my guide, I never realized who he was until dad laughed as he hugged me. Dad was weird so I didn’t think anything of it. Well until I unknowingly encouraged him to ask Bianca out. My chest rows angered and hurt as I saw him smile at the siren.

They broke up over the summer, I had to be the one who picked up the pieces. Xavier never told me who broke up with who and why. The rumors from Enid’s blog were endless and girls who loved X. Who knows why!

“Dany! We got a new girl!” Kent gushed as he sat down.

“Mid semester?” I furrowed my brows

“Wednesday Addams, I think you have Thornhill with her” Yoko grinned.

“What’s so bad about her? Quit smiling with your fangs, Yo” I sighed.

“Look, 4 o clock” Bianca nudged me

She was dressed in an all black Nevermore uniform, braids, scowl on her face. Enid was smiling and pointing at various students. The bell rang. “Let’s go see how this Addams girl is” Bicana smirked.

“Be nice, b. And not bitchy nice” I said as we passed Xavier’s mural.

The same dark girl stood in front with Thornhill. She was spooky for sure, not a bad one. Xavier smiled at her as he opened his sketch book.

“Miss Targaryen” Thornhill said as I looked at Addams sitting with Xavier

” Daenerys!” Thornhill raised her voice, Yoko kicked my leg

“Yes, Miss Thornhill” I jumped

“Pay attention, Xavier has a hole in his back from you staring at him” Thornhill smirked

“Right” I sighed as Xavier smiled back at me

Xavier’s energy was off after he saw Wednesday and it made Bianca’s off. It made me nauseated as class ended. “He could be yours, if you asked him. And quit hiding in Leana’s skirt” Aegon’s voice ranged in my head.

“Dany, you coming to practice?” Xavier asked

“Oh yeah. Ready to get your ass kicked, sweetheart?” I smirked. Xavier bit his lip and nodded.

I arched my bow back

“What do yoI think about Wednesday?” Xavier asked, making me miss my shot.

“You dick! I missed!” I groaned

“I know” he smirked

“I forfeit” I threw my bow down and walked away

“Dan! Dany! Come on I was joking” Xavier yelled

A knock broke me from my crying and thoughts, Yoko was out with Bianca for the shadow meeting or something.

“Go away, Xavier!” I yelled

The knocking continued

“Enid leave me alone fuck!” I opened the door to my slightly older, much taller cousin, Aemond.

“Loose your attitude, bitch” Aemond walked in

“Jerk” I smiled

“You’re not suppose to be up here, Thornhill will kill you” I sighed

“Not before I find out why my cousin is bawling her eyes out. Now talk” Aemond raised his eyebrow at me.

“It’s stupid. It could be solved if I listened to Aegon” I plopped on my bean bag

“Don’t listen to Aegon ever. Why do you say that?” Aemond rubbed my head

“I really like Xavier and I can tell he is in love with Wednesday fucking Addams already. She sat with him for one class and he’s already planning their wedding in his head. I seen them at the dance this semester” I broke down.

“Dany, calm down. He can’t love her just in one day” Aemond said.

“He has the same look, he did when I pushed him to ask out Bee” I looked my cousin in the eyes.

—————- a week later

I was walking to meet Xavi for archery practice for the day. “Nice leggings, Dee” Enid smiled as she typed away.

“Thanks, babe!” I giggled

“Hey” I grabbed my bow as he was showing Wednesday how to shoot.

“Oh Dany! Daenerys, Wednesday Addams. Wednesday, Daenerys” Xavier smiled.

“At least I’m not an elitist snob” Wednesday deadpanned and made her bullseyes

“Ouch” Xavier said

“Damn, I gave you a week until I showed you I didn’t need your help” I giggled

“Dany” Xavier sighed

“Right. Sorry your manhood is damaged now” I bit my tongue

“Why do you have to be a mini version of Daemon?” He sighed

“It’s fun, my love. Now excuse me, I’m gonna sneak out with Yoko. See ya later, Thorpe” i patted his back as I left him with his thoughts.

“And then Enid asked Wednesday to join us for the Poe cup. I mean how do we even know she is even worth having. I love bee but I would love to beat her even more” Yoko gushed. I sat in the window seal, barely hearing anything she had said

“Dany? Dan? Daenerys, hey” Yoko shook me.

But it went dark and I hit the floor

“Danyy! Shit” Yoko ran off

I woke up in the medical wing, my head was pounding out of my skull.

I looked over to see Xavier sleeping in the chair, his neck was showing. He must have felt my eyes on him, he got startled.

“Hey hey. You’re wake!” He smiled

“What happened? Why are you here?” I deadpanned

“Apparently you passed out and fell when Yoko was talking to you. She busted into my room screaming for me to help her. I’m your best friend why do you say that?” Xavier held my hand

I dropped his hand and stood up grabbing my sweatshirt. Well Xavier’s sweatshirt, fuck it! It was comfortable.

“Dany!”

———- two weeks later

Xavier barely talked to anyone, staying in his shed if it wasn’t school hours. The community outreach was boring as always. I got assigned to pilgrim world with Yoko and Bianca.

I snuck away and decided I needed a chai latte to even make it through this hell of Jericho. According to Enid’s blog Xavier was at the coffee shop for his assignment. Aemond was there too or maybe he snuck off to the library.

“Let me guess an iced vanilla chai with almond milk?” Xavier grinned as he sat in the side of the booth.

“You remember” I smiled

He grinned and went to make my drink

“Here” I tried to give him a ten

“Quit, on the house. I don’t make pretty girls pay for stuff” Xavier shut my hand with the bill crumbling in my hand.

“Xavier! At least take it for a tip” I sighed

“Be right there” he said as he walked to the counter to help a customer

“You’re supposed to be at pilgrim world, kid” Aemond punched my shoulder, playful like.

“Here I thought you blew this assignment off. Looks like only of us are the smart Targaryen” I smirked.

“I promised mom I wouldn’t be like Aegon and actually interact with people”

“Mamas boy” I laughed

“How’s daddy gonna get his little girl out of this one?” He shot back

“Hey Wednesday!” Tyler smiled as he came from the back room

“Does everyone have the hots for the mini goth?” I threw my head back.

I stood up, “See ya, Aem. Be good”

“Dany?” Xavier quipped

“What?”

He held my latte

“Thanks” I took it and left him standing there

I was sitting under an oak tree, reading the family history again. I could quote it word for word but I needed comfort. Dad was in London for a business trip.

“When are you gonna tell how you feel and not sulk like a lost puppy?” A voice asked

It was Bianca

“How can you tell?” I sighed

“Because he looked at me like how you do him. Don’t lose him to another” she sat down.

“Piss off” I brought my knees to my chest

“Before I piss off.. Listen, I know you love him, just tell him how you feel. You would be surprised in the outcome, Dans” She held my hand

“Why would you help your ex’s best friend get with your ex?” I scoffed

“Because I like you shockingly. You remind me of me a little too much also” Bianca looked with her ocean blues

I sighed, rubbing a hand over my face, “I’ve already lost him to Wednesday. There’s nothing I can do to show him how I feel. Thanks but you’re too late, bee bee”

“Stop crying. I don’t do crying” She pulled me into her chest

“Shut up, sushi” I giggled

“Hate that name, but since you’re sad I’ll let it pass” she rubbed my back

“Don’t mention to anyone that you saw me cry. Now kindly fuck off” I stood up

“Tell him!” She yelled

I walked up the stairs to mine and Yoko’s room, I passed Wednesday and Enid’s. Suddenly a severed hand ran across my shoe, making me yelp.

“Thing!” A voice yelled as they jerked the door open.

Wednesday

“Is that your family pet? We have a dragon”, I blurted out

“You’re the Targaryen girl” Wednesday looked at me as she picked up her hand.

“How do you know who I am but not Xavier’s family?” I asked

“My father has a copy of your family’s history. Daemon’s daughter from his rocky first marriage”, she quipped

I looked her up and down

“How do you know that? That’s not in the book it stopped after my great great grandfather” I scoffed.

“Enid” The small girl shut her door

“Can’t wait for this semester to be over”, I sighed as I finished my journey to my dorm

——————-

I sat with Xavier and Aemond during breakfast before class broke. Xavier winced every little movement, claiming he hurt his back during fencing. They haven’t had fencing in a week.

“Look at his neck, Aem” I threw my thought in Aemond’s head

“His fencing wound. So what?”

“You’ve not had fencing in a week moron”, I rolled my eyes

Aemond stood up, saying his goodbyes for the day. Alys was at the other side of the quad. Of course he leaves me without no answers.

“How does one get a starch like that from a fencing sword? Wednesday’s was a tiny nick” I said

“You don’t believe me” Xavier scoffed

“You’re a shitty liar, Thorpe” I smirked

He sighed, “I drew a monster from my vision and it came out and attacked me. Just don’t tell anyone”

“Why don’t you have a bandage? Unless you want your neck to turn green and fall off”, I ran my over his hoodie collar

He jumped back

“See ya in Thornhill” He stalked off

“Yeah you’ll be naming your kids with vampira”, I sighed, collecting my things and met Yoko before our first class

It was getting close to the end of the day, my class with Xavier and Wednesday. The closer I got to the class, my music blaring. I decided to skip class and see what my other family was up to.

“Fuck it”

It was easy to get the dorm hall without Thornhill bugging me about my life and why I blasted the Sex Pistols.

I slammed the door and threw my blazer off, kicking my shoes off.

“Dad will be in London or everywhere. Lena will be pissed that I skipped.” I sighed, scrolling through my contacts.

Egg 🍃

“Worth a shot” I clicked the blue phone and let it rang

“Shut up, it’s my cousin” Aegon sounded out of breath.

“Bad timing, cousin” I giggled

“Kinda but what’s wrong? Go take a shower or something” I heard Aegon tell a girl

The door shut

“What’s wrong? You’re supposed to be in herbology, kiddo” Aegon tried to lecture me

“Stop being my dad! I need my older cousin who I love like my brother to listen” I whined

“I am” Aegon sighed

I bit my lip

“Okay. There’s this new girl Wednesday Addams, she is the goth girl but she gives me Ted Buddy vibes. Anyways Xavier is in love with her, he has been blowing me off. Just hurts because it’s like when he was in love with Bianca. I don’t know, Egg it’s just too much and parent’s weekend isn’t until next month. I already know Dad won’t be there, probably in Spain or bora bora. I’m sorry I bothered you with your hookup” I cried

“Dany! It’s okay breathe, in and out. The new will wear off on Thursday and he’ll ask you to the Rave’n. He does love you, you’re both too chicken to say anything” Aegon replied

“Don’t let this go to your head but you’re right. And it’s Wednesday, bud” I laughed

“There’s that laugh! Now lay down, drink some water and stop worrying” Aegon smiled

“Thanks, Egg. Love you” I smiled, not like he would see it but it’s the thought that counts.

He giggled

“Tell my giant little brother I said hi. He probably won’t notice but won’t being attached to Alys”

“Tell me about it. I walked in on them making out, I asked him something. He responded but didn’t break away from her. Sad thing I understood what he said” I giggled

“Teenage angst. Now don’t call me unless you asked him out and you’ll make me your maid of honor” Aegon said before he hung up

“Aegon! Aeg” I sighed

The door slammed open

“Why weren’t you in class? Did you get sick?” Xavier walked over and laid his on my forehead

“No, I'm not sick. Family issue came up. Did you take any notes or did you impress your little girlfriend with your moving art” I smirked

He jerked his hand back and looked down at me with disgust, “Jealousy isn’t a good look on you Daenerys”

He walked to the door, “She hasn’t do anything to you or Bianca and you two hate her”

“She’s a stalker, Xavier! Somehow she knows about my fathers first marriage and how it was. I never talked to the girl before, she don’t even have a phone. You’re too blinded by love to see it now but she’s no good” I walked over to him

“Like you can point your finger on how crazy people are, Dans. Look in the mirror” Xavier scoffed

“Fuck you” I pushed him out as Yoko walked in with Divana

“What a spoiled brat” I heard him say before leaving

“Asshole!” I yelled back

Yoko and Divana looked at me with a sympathetic smile.

“Want me to sneak Aemond in?” Yoko asked

I shook my head and flopped on my bed

What a fucking day! Curse Wednesday Addams! And fuck Xavier Thrope, he’s such an asshole!

#xavier thorpe #xavier thorpe x reader #daenerys #house of the dragon x Wednesday #xavier wednesday #xavier thrope imagine

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brightgnosis · 5 months

Note

I'm really sorry if this is the wrong way to ask this but here it goes:

How did you find the Jewish community and know it was for you? And what's been your favorite thing to learn about/during your conversion?

I've always had Jewish friends online on and off growing up- and one of my favorite things to talk about has always been Theology. So it's natural that you get to talking Theology with your friends, especially when you're of different religious backgrounds. And there were a lot of times that they'd explain some Jewish belief to me and I'd have a sort of ⁉️‼️ moment, because the belief was either exactly what I believed, or incredibly close to what I believed.

But y'know, I was Pagan. I didn't know any Jewish people in physicality. I didn't have a Synagogue near me. I didn't have transportation. And "there were so many rules" (which is such a very leftover Culturally Christian mindset in the end). So it never went anywhere, really, save for the occasional article read.

Then I found out thanks to DNA testing that my family lied about pretty much 90% of what they'd ever told me "we were" ethnically, and I got access to a lot more records than I'd ever managed to find access to previously. Established contact with family members I'd never even knew existed, etc. And I found out that we weren't "Native American" like I'd been told, and had been actively chasing information for my entire life ... I was roughly ~3 (4?) generations down from Ukrainian Ashkenazi immigrants who'd left the Pale in the 1890's 🙃 Which was absolutely mindblowing to me, because my family had never once ever mentioned this. Ever. Never. (Though when I finally got the opportunity to confront my Aunt about it, she was all like "oh yeah, they used to talk about their life "In Russia" all the time!" ... Like ???? Thanks ????)

Anyways. That made me finally start looking into Judaism a lot more seriously- at minimum, to find out what it was my Ancestors potentially lived while in Ukraine, and ultimately likely left behind when they immigrated. Especially since I was already kind of in an in-between state where I was trying to figure out where on Earth to go after leaving Irish Reconstructionism because of the toxicity, anyways. And it was like ... The more I read about it, the more my Soul was just singing. I really don't know how else to explain it.

Like, the Gods made me happy, sure. And the faiths I'd been a part of had always allowed me an opportunity to "live by my beliefs". But nothing had really truly resonated so deep in my bones like this did. And the more I learned, the more I just knew, so deep within myself, that it was literally what I'd been looking for the whole time- and why I'd never really completely given up on God after leaving the Church when I was younger, and kept finding weird paths back to It.

Then I found out we actually had a Synagogue here where I lived, and so I started trying to contact them. And in the meantime I found out about Noahidism and started practicing that while studying. And I just ... Kept this faith that HaShem would open the way when it was time. And that did happen; I eventually managed to make contact with my local Synagogue after trying for 2 years, and they bounced me off to a Reform Rabbi- who very kindly bounced me off to a Conservative Rabbi who happened to be in full support of Interfaith marriages ... And here I am! And I literally have no words for how incredibly wonderful this entire journey has been, and how exciting and fulfilling it's been to learn, and to go to events, and to become integrated into Jewish life and my (two!) communities; I adore my Rabbi, and what my Synagogue is doing, and the people I've met.

I love ... Everything that I've learned about. I can't pick a favorite. I truly can't. But I feel most connected to Jewish Ecospirituality, I think; books like 'God in the Wilderness'. The way Maimonides and Breslov speak about Nature. My experiences using the old Sailboat Launch at the Lake, here, as a Mikveh. The concept of Humanity and the Torah as Trees- and the imagery of HaShem as an Orchardist. The entire story of Genesis, the creation of Chava and Adam, and their instillation in (and subsequent exile from) the paradise of Gan Eden. “If you have no Tallit, wrap yourself in the four corners of the Earth and pray”. Tu B'Shvat ... Everything; the entire way that Judaism is so intrinsically and deeply connected to Nature at its very core, and the way you fundamentally cannot separate either HaShem or Humankind from the Earth, is breathtaking and sings to me in the same way that Judaism as a whole sings to me.

I have never felt this way about any religious community I've tried to be a part of in my life. And I think that speaks testament to how right this path has been for me, and how HaShem has honored me with it. This all probably sounds like utterly insane ramblings at this point, though, ha!

#genderfluidgothwitch #Answered Asks #2023 Asks #2023 #A Direct Look At My Practice #Just Potential Jewish Convert Things #Witchcraft Asks

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meganwasbored · 10 months

Text

The Dragon Prince Thoughts Season 4 Episodes 3 and 4

Episode 3

-he’s really pretending to read a black page in a book just to not look at her

-you’re telling me callum was really able to fall asleep after all that?

-so you had this in your back pocket but instead you went with “hey”

-with her bare hand?? that love right there

-she’s gonna be gone when he wakes up AGAIN??? girl where are you even going

-soren being soren

-i hope we get to hear zym talk someday because i’m thinking about all the possibilities for what his voice might sound like and all of them are hilarious

-if the passageway is opened by a dragon sized button why are there human sized stairs leading down into it

-ibis’s timing is always impeccable

-i love how bait is there for literally everything like he even had his own seat at the council table i wonder if it was like this when bait was harrow’s pet

-ok everything else that went wrong today was an accident but the painting was definitely sabotaged something strange is going on here

-claudia pulling a jafar

-an eleven year old just gave that speech

-IBIS DID NOT JUST DIE TAKE THAT BACK

-THERE IS SO MUCH HAPPENING RIGHT NOW

-CRYING

-OMG HES ALIVE DOES THAT MEAN HES GONNA MAKE IT???

-NOOOOOOO

-RAYLA WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE THIS IS NOT THE TIME

-WOAH HE CAN DO THAT THATS SO COOL BUT ALSO HE JUST DIED THIRTY SECONDS AGO SO IM HAVING SOME VERY MIXED FEELINGS

Episode 4

-UHHHHHHHH WHY IS CALLUM IN THE SPARKLY PLACE NOW

-oh you can already tell that ezran is gonna be their marriage counselor from this point on

-zym hiding like 8 year old me getting picked up from my friend’s house

-viren contributing absolutely nothing like dude they could’ve done that while you were still dead

-WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

WHY DID IT CUT TO THIS AFTER SHE SAID THAT

-i love opeli so much but why is she so insistent that ezran leaves?? like i’ve never seen her smile so much in any other scene?? she just found out the world is once again in danger and she’s happy??

-OMG DO YOU THINK SHE HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE PAINTING

-stop it megan now you’re just grasping at straws

-why is ezran so chill about literally everything like rayla randomly shows up after two years of nothing and he’s just like “of course you’re coming hop on”

-also rayla apologized to ezran the second she saw him but she hasn’t bothered to apologize to callum??? as in the one she actually wronged??? and she’s expecting him to be cool with that???

-girl you could’ve just asked him if he can go start the flame a safe distance away from camp?? like can you at least try to come to a compromise?? this is why y’all were thrown out in the first place

-this is foreshadowing if i’ve ever seen it and i DO NOT LIKE IT

-Luna Tenebris is such a cool name like that alone tells me how awesome she was

-“a young human girl uncovered a great secret of history” and yet she’s not important enough to remember her name?

-my question is what does aaravos get out of all this? why did he start doing this in the first place?

-Terry buddy if anyone can help claudia at this point it’s you i’m sorry you even got dragged into this

-“I have always been willing to do anything to protect my family, however dangerous, however vile” oh so that why you told soren that it doesn’t matter if he died and tried to use him as your guinea pig for the weird demon-hulk-soldier spell?

-SAYS THE MAN WHO HAD A PANIC ATTACK ABOUT A LITTLE MOUNTAIN

-OH I REALLY REALLY DONT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING

-my question is why would they write “in darkness, gaze upon a fallen star” on the mirror like that just makes aaravos sound like a savior or something

-you’re really scared of a little spell? why don’t you take your own advice and get a grip?

-HE CANT BREATHE WHY ARE YOU ALL JUST STANDING THERE HELP HIM

-OH THE CREATURE IS WORSE THAN I IMAGINED

-HE CAN SHATTER THE MIRROR???

-SERIOUSLY HIS SOUL CAN GO OUTSIDE OF THE MIRROR HE CAN POSSESS PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF THE MIRROR AND NOW HE CAN SHATTER THE MIRROR??? HAS HE ALWAYS BEEN ABLE TO DO THIS???

#the dragon prince #tdp #the dragon prince thoughts #tdp thoughts #the dragon prince season 4 #tdp season 4 #the dragon prince thoughts season 4 #tdp thoughts season 4

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aroace-moron · 10 months

Text

15 Questions for 15 followers

Thank you @tathrin for tagging me! I know that it has been literal months, but I forgot I had screenshotted the questions and couldn't find them on your blog. Oops. Anyway!

1. Are you named after anyone?

Indeed I am! Alexander the Great, to be precise! Why would my mum name her child after a colonising murderer? I kept kicking her. Like, in uterus. I was a very agressive fetus. And also a very agressive baby, I just kept. Biting her. Like I was angry she gave me life. (Which on second thought, considering the people I've had to deal with so far... understandable, little me.)

2. When was the last time you cried?

Tonight! I had a recurring nigtmare of a zombie chasing me. I escaped, the thing that made it a nightmare was that I had locked it in with my family. And when I woke up, I was convinced I had killed them.

3. Do you have kids?

No, and I hopefully never will! Fun fact about 8 year old me, when a teacher told us that every girl would find a boy to settle down and have kids with one day in sex ed, I very confidently announced that I would never start a family because it would hold me back in my career. This is like one of those moments I should have realised I'm aroace, lol.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Kind of. The issue is that people often think I'm serious.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

When I see them, what they look like. When I talk to them on the phone, it's their voice. Is there another option?

6. What's your eyecolour?

Green.

7. Scary movies or good endings?

Both, as long as I get to analyze the living hell out of them. (Example: when watching The Menu for the first time, I kept bothering my mum like: Look, she said she doesn't want an intellectually callenging dinner and he literally crushes meatballs that look like brains for her cheeseburger! Mum look! Mum isn't this amazing??) I also really love tortured characters, so scary movies or stuff with a lot of angst potential is what I usually gravitate towards, but I really like some happy movies too.

8. Any special talents?

First and foremost, I don't really believe in talents, and get irrationally angry when people tell me I must have a natural gift or something because to me, that implies I didn't work my ass off for years to get to a good point but that Fortuna just emptied a bucket of goods over my head as soon as I entered this world kicking, screaming and biting everyone. The only thing that I would count as a talent (in a very loose meaning of the word) is that I started reading whole books about 3 months after getting to school. I think that's hyperlexia? Might be wrong, I never really researched it.

9. Where were you born?

Not in switzerland, despite my elementary school certificate saying so.

10. What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, drawing, playing the lyre, at the moment everything Tolkien, though that can change in like a day to something completely different.

11. Do you have any pets?

I do!! She is a cat, her name is Indira, she is very cuddly and sounds permanently pissed, to the point that a friend who was watching her while we were on vacation sent us a very concerned message because she had actually meowed like a normal cat for once. She hates other animals of all kinds, had to be kept in a seperate room in the shelter we picked her up from, was born on the same day as me (though two years later) and has a habit of sitting in a spot in the garden where she can be seen by the dogs on both sides of the fence and meowing very provocatively. The people in the shelter actually wanted to name her Diva because she is such a little bitch, but they decided on Indira since they thought people wouldn't take her in if her name was Diva. I love her very much.

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

I was forced to play batminton in 7th grade because of a stupid rule that said that all band kids had to do a sport thing too. I hated every second of it.

13. How tall are you?

1,63m. At my birth, people calcualted that I would never get over 1,45, and I was the shortest kid in everything until I was 16, when I grew 20 centimeters at once without warning. I very much enjoy telling people I am taller than them.

14. Favourite subject in school?

Art and English.

15. Dream job?

A published author. I am actually working on a trilogy right now! It might take a while until I actually get it done though. Does anyone know how cold it has to be that your fingers have to be amputated? Google is failing me.

Tagging (only if you want, also yay I have nearly enough followers to actually do this now!) @strawberriesinmoominvalley @dirtmuse @babybat98 @eight-ball-juice @liamwinters @harmoniousworld @hyperlexia-1 @daeron-the-flautist @mistergandalf @the-sewerrats @slowdeathhymn @suuzzzzzzannnnn otherwise this is an open tag.

#tag game #15 questions

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indigo-villin · 10 months

Text

Security breach ruin dlc spoiler post!!

This spoilers, all the til the end.

So Monty dies, i hate that.

Chica just flumps over and is done, I hate how they massacred her.

Roxy is screwed up, but at least she's saving Cassie too.

Freddy's body was left to get messed up.

The princess quest ending is clearly canon. Proof: Freddy's body left in fazer blast, in ar mode the princess quest 3 game has a golden sword stabbing it like a stereotypical hero killing the villian with a sword to the heart and heaving there sort of thing, the fact afton himself isn't really anywhere but the mimic is instead (and we see the blob for like a second doing its own thing in the underground).

We also finally see glamrock Bonnie's body... it's pretty messed up..

HEADCANONS BELOW

Now I'm gonna explain all the things I believe happened.

Monty didn't kill Bonnie. It was either afton and vanny for parts (which would explain why in his ending he could charge using one of the station pods), the rouge staff bots, or the mimic.

That is Freddy's body, I don't care if the word prototype is on the bottom, do you really think the company actually has the koney/motive to completely recreate a shell for then if not needed? If they did they could've EASILY fixed bonnie up.

Ruin happens during Cassie's birthday.

Gregory left Cassie, but I don't think he necessarily broke the elevator, if he did it would've been from a distance or by using some bot under his control since he IS patient 46 and a hacker according the the VERY CANON books.

The mimic didn't drop the elevator and wasn't the one talking through the speakers, it literally tossed away its communicater before the chase began and LOST AN ARM, which would've still been RIGHT NEXT to Cassie when she dropped.

Vanessa/Vanny is the friend Gregory was talking about, when he says his friends name the communicator garbles, which would happen if all her other hacked things were in place still. Her ar systems are still around, so it makes sense her name wouldn't come through on fazbear tech, especially after leaving. Plus what else fazbear couldn't notice her, specifically when in aftons control? The robots and security systems.

With vanny gone afton sort of just died out in the old pizza place with no reach with his virus and the mimic prowling around.

I'm done with headcanons now... I'm just.. I'm tired of people not using their brains, like Gregory in base game didn't need to dismantle anyone, he could've left instead of gone into Freddy's chest, he could've stayed with Fred in his room til 6am after missing the final lockdown, he could've stayed with sun, or told sun freddy was waiting outside, something. But no he destroyed these hulking animatronics cause he "was in survival mode" he took their upgrade and put them in Freddy, even refusing to tell him what was going on (freddy you dense motherf--). And now with the newest book out telling us he's a killer of, at minimum, 4 people. Could he be controlled by something at that time? Sure, probably, but we don't know. He wrongfully destroyed the animatronics who didn't do anything to him except what they were told, get a runaway kid, were they infected with a killing virus? Yes. Would he have known that at the beginning? Probably not, he didn't know til LATE into the game, after breaking Chica or Monty.

Im not gonna lie, gregory is the character I hate the most in this franchise, I hate him more than I do any variant of balloon boy/girl. I'd rather play the nightmare balloon boy game for an hour than play sb base game, and nightmare bb gives me nightmares.

Also if it's been like a year since the place broke down Gregory would NOT be so close to the plex to worry about being followed "oh but his communicator!!" Yeah if we go with him having to be in range for that then he'd be close enough to break the elevator, so pick a lane and shut up.

This has been my ruin dlc commentary and gregory hate post.

#fnaf security breach #ruin dlc spoilers #fnaf sb dlc #fnaf spoilers #I hate gregory #Cassie is best protag

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q-gorgeous · 2 years

Text

coup de foudre chapter 3

ao3

ffn

its almost 4 am rn im so tired

Danny sat at their lunch table, picking at his lunch while Sam ranted beside him.

“How much of a blockhead can this guy be? He just thinks that he can make plans to hang out with Phantom just because he saves him once? Phantom saves people all the time and he’s not hanging out with every one of those people.”

“Sam–” Danny said.

“He’s such an entitled prick. Why does he think Phantom has time to hang out with him?”

“Sam.” Danny furrowed his brows as she continued to ignore him.

“He’s just some fanboy. He thinks any interaction he has with Phantom means he has a chance with him, like Paulina.”

“Sam!” Danny shouted, blushing. She finally turned to look at him, a glare on her face as she pursed her lips together.

“Look, it’s not like we’re friends,” Danny said, running his hand through his hair as he put his fork down. “I told him I might not even make it. I was just lying to him so I could leave. He did seem like he was genuine about it, though. I think he just wants me to give him a chance.”

Sam scoffed. “Yeah, but he doesn’t know you’re also Fenton. I just don’t think this is a good idea. Remember how he literally started beating you up again? What if he’s really up to something?”

Danny rolled his eyes. “Of course I remember, Sam. It happened yesterday.” He stabbed at his food. “But what do you think he could possibly be up to? That he’s planning to turn me into the GIW?”

“I think it’d be impossible for Dash to do that,” Tucker said with a mouthful of food. He swallowed before continuing. “I don’t know if you’ve ever looked at Dash when Danny’s out fighting ghosts as Phantom, but he always watches with this puppy dog expression on his face.”

Danny shook his head. “Yeah, whatever.” He popped a bite of food into his mouth. “But I wanted to talk to you guys about that ghost hunter. Is there any way we can figure out who this guy is? Or if there’s more people who are planning on coming after me?”

“I can take a look around,” Tucker said, swiping on his phone. “But most people didn’t believe the GIW were serious. It might take a couple days of digging.”

“After that we can figure out what this guy's deal is,” Sam said. “You said he was talking about purifying this plane of ghosts or something?”

“Yeah, it was really weird. And creepy.” Danny poked at his food. “I don’t know if he’s in a cult or what. I hope not. They’re really annoying to deal with.”

“Well I’ll keep looking into it and let you know what I find.” Tucker puts his phone away.

“Thanks.”

They finished eating the rest of their food, spending the rest of their lunch talking about assignments they had for their classes.

Danny glanced over at the A-Listers and saw that Dash seemed to be in a much better mood than he was at this time yesterday. Maybe he was excited for his hang out with Phantom that he thought would be happening in two days.

Then Dash looked up and met Danny’s eyes. Caught staring, his cheeks grew warm and he looked away quickly, hoping that maybe, maybe Dash didn’t see.

Then the bell rang, marking the end of lunch.

Danny went through the same motions as yesterday. By the time he got to his locker he could feel someone behind him again.

He turned around and scowled when he saw Dash a couple feet away from him, watching him with a meek expression on his face.

“What do you want, meathead?” Danny asked as he turned back to his locker.

“I just wanted to apologize for what happened yesterday.” Danny turned to look at Dash out of the corner of his eye and saw him running a hand through his hair. “I’ve been trying really hard to be nicer to people. But yesterday I had my own personal issues going on and I took them out on you and I’m sorry.”

Danny pulled his history book out of his locker and stuffed it in his bag. Zipping his bag shut and slamming his locker closed, Danny turned around and stared up at Dash.

“I’m not here to be your punching bag when you’re having a bad day. It’s going to take more than an apology for you to prove that you’re really sorry.”

“But–” Dash started but Danny just walked away, not letting Dash finish his thought.

QQQQQ

Danny was exhausted by the time he got home. He only had to chase after the box ghost today, but he was still tired from getting hit by that ghost hunter’s weapon. And he felt mentally exhausted over the whole thing with Dash.

He walked inside his house, yawning as he closed the door. His parents were in the kitchen, talking excitedly about something.

“Dannyboy!” his dad called excitedly.

Danny set down his backpack in the living room and walked to the kitchen. “Yeah, Dad?”

“Come look at this!” He held a laptop up to Danny’s face. “The GIW put out a bounty for that nasty spook that’s always destroying the town!”

Danny squinted at the screen, looking at the website they were on. “How do you guys even know what Tumblr is?”

“If we can catch that spook, then we can claim the bounty!” Maddie shouted excitedly.

“Why are you so excited to claim the bounty?” Danny asked, his mind in a tired haze. “I thought we were well enough off financially.”

“Oh, we are, sweetie!” Maddie patted Danny on the head. “We’re looking to get recognition for the capture! Maybe even an opportunity to work on experiments the GIW will be conducting on Phantom!”

“Oh,” Danny said. “Well. That’s great.”

“Isn’t it? Now go upstairs and get started on your homework. We’re having meatloaf tonight!”

“Imagine the Fenton name on a breakthrough discovery like this!” Jack bellowed as Danny grabbed his backpack and headed up the stairs. “We’ll become the most respected ghost hunters and scientists in the country!”

Danny tuned his parents out as he walked up the stairs, yawning another big yawn. When he opened his eyes again, he jumped at seeing Jazz standing right in front of him.

“You know, considering you aren’t any part ghost, you sure move like you’re one.”

“What were they talking about?” Jazz ignored his comment.

Danny pushed past her and headed towards his room. “Some bounty the GIW put on me. They posted it all over their social media pages. Did you know the GIW and our parents both know how to use Tumblr?”

“Danny!” Jazz gasped. “This is serious! What if someone captures you?”

He waved off her comment. “Relax, Jazz. Most of the ghost hunters I’ve encountered have all been severely incompetent. And that includes our parents. If I haven’t been captured yet, I don’t think I’ll be captured now. It’ll be fine.”

“‘It’ll be fine,’” Jazz mocked. But then she sighed. “Just. Be careful for a while. Sam and Tucker told me that you already had one run in with somebody.”

Danny cursed. “I hate that they tell you things now.”

Jazz frowned at him and placed her hands on her hips. “Well somebody has to. You weren’t going to, clearly.”

“Because I can handle this on my own.” He opened his door. “This isn’t something I haven’t dealt with already. Now if you’ll excuse me, all the ghosts except for Boxy seem to be on vacation today so I’m going to actually do my homework.”

“Danny–”

He closed the door in her face. She sighed on the other side of it and walked back to her own room.

He didn’t know why she was making such a big deal of it. There have always been ghost hunters coming after him and he had always been fine. He didn’t know what was so different this time. So what if he needed help the last time? It turned out like it always did.

He pushed the thoughts of ghost hunters and blond boys out of his head and got started on his homework.

#gorgi writes #danny phantom #invisobang 2022 #danny fenton #dash baxter #sam manson #tucker foley #swagger bishie #jack fenton #maddie fenton #jazz fenton #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #phic

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tavarillasgalen · 1 year

Text

26 was a transformative year.

I finally had the courage to end a 7 year relationship. I'm so angry with myself for not doing it sooner, but I kept hoping and what-iffing, even as things continued to worsen. I was so bored, I was so stuck, I felt so taken for granted and unappreciated, I felt so held back, I felt like I was making myself small, I felt like I could never truly speak my mind, I could not trust him, etc, etc, etc. And literally, as soon as I broke up with him, I felt this overpowering sense of relief. I was so relieved, I was elated. It was like a "breath I didn't know i'd been holding" moment. And I have absolutely zero regrets about ending it, the only thing I regret is not ending it far, far sooner. I had lost myself, many of my hobbies, and since the breakup, I've started getting them back. The only thing I miss is someone to talk to/do things with, but I'll make friends. My life improved so much since ending it. I feel so much freer. I am so fucking happy.

I got a promotion at work. My boss admitted that he's been giving me more work than the others because he knows if he gives it to me, it'll be done right, it'll be good, and it'll be done in a timely fashion. And when he told other people about it, they were like, yeah, makes sense, she's been ready for this for a while.

I moved my horse to a new stable. The circumstances behind why are bad, so bad that some of the other owners at her old stable were talking about taking legal action against the stable owner. But I trust the people at the stable she is at now. And I can see her so much more now. It is so healing.

My family and I talk again. We haven't had a good relationship in literal years. I honestly don't know how long it's been. But now we talk, we do things together. I feel like I belong. It is so nice.

I lost 10 lbs! I gained 20 lbs during the pandemic, and could not lose it for the life of me. But this year, with a combination of daily exercise and eating better, I'm down 10 lbs. Just 10 more to go until I am back at my pre-pandemic weight. And the weight loss is incredibly slow, which on the one hand is frustrating, but on the other, is very good, because slow weight loss is sustainable weight loss.

I started eating so much healthier. This primarily after the breakup. My ex was very overweight because he was sedentary and pretty much exclusively ate out. I feel so much better and I have saved so much money. I can't remember the last time I ate out - it was probably with him. And making my own meals and knowing what I put into my body is good for it is SO nice.

I started baking again! I loved this as a kid. I forgot that not only is baking fun, but I'm a good baker. The family ravs about my cookies and pastries and breads and things.

I started embroidering again! It is so nice to put on a show or music or something and sew. My embroidered jean shorts are now my favorite pair of shorts.

I started being artistic again! With sketching, with painting, with trying digital art. I'm BEYOND rusty, but I'm having FUN. So I honestly don't mind that I'm so rusty, because I'm having fun making art again and experimenting with different mediums.

I finished my degree. I did all the classes except for 1 in the typical 4 years of uni, and I kept putting off the last one because it was math. It took me 4 tries thanks to how horrific my mental health was, but I did it, it's done. And I got a 99% on the final exam.

I did so many things I'd wanted to. Like comic con, like renn faires, like going to the ballet. I scheduled things for my future self to enjoy in 27, like a fantasy photoshoot and a mounted archery clinic.

I made my first cosplays! Keyleth, her comic book look and her mantle. I'd been cosplaying for months at that point, but those were the first things I actually made.

I picked up classes to learn new skills, like coding.

I started Duolingo again, and have a streak of over 100 days. I'm actually starting to understand it when spoken at a normal speed, not just slowed down.

I started going on walks outside in the neighborhood! Very weather-dependent, but God are the flowers and houses pretty. And so many little free libraries around. When I can't walk outside, I either go to the gym or use my aeroski or do pamela reif workouts. I workout more days than not and it does wonders for my mental health.

Lol, this may seem strange. But some of my clients are dentists, and since taking them on, my teeth have never been this well-cared for. I have flossed literally every single day in 2023 so far, started using straws for sodas and energy drinks, etc. I better not have any cavities when I see my dentist next month, just saying.

I had the courage to see doctors about various health issues that were bothering me, like excruciating shoulder pain, throwing up everything I eat or drink (not intentionally, like, literally could barely control it), etc. I'm still paying off the medical bills and I'm pissed that only 1 doctor took me seriously while the rest had the gall to tell me I was just stressed when that was not the case. But I'm proud of myself for having the courage to take care of myself like that, anyway.

I actually... Started to want to actually live. I feel so far behind everyone else my age in part because of being held back/stuck by my relationship, but mostly because I never planned to live this long. And my suicidal ideation was so severe, I was only ever going through the motions for so long. Mental illness stole a decade of my life from me. But now, I... Actually don't want to die. I actually want to live. When I feel like I want to die, I recognize the truth behind the feeling which is really needing something to change. And then I work towards that change however I can. Like, I don't have retirement accounts or investments or much of a savings or anything because I just saw no point, because I figured i'd be dead soon. But now? When you are actually seriously researching retirement accounts and investments and savings strategies and all this? Actually making plans for a life far beyond the next couple of days? Of course I still get stressed and depressed by the fact that I don't already have those things sorted out, but then I remember that the reason for that is because I wanted to die for so long. I never thought I would live to see my 20s, and every year until now, I didn't think I'd live to see the next. But now? I want to actively help my future self out. I want to do what I can to make my future self's life better and easier. I want to do what I can to set my future self up for success. And when you have someone who was as suicidal as I was for the past 10 years and who made multiple suicide attempts start thinking about saving for retirement? Holy shit, how much of a win is that?

There's a lot more I could say, I'm sure. I also read so many books, worked on my own books, etc. But I'll leave it there. I'm really pleased with all the personal progress i've made this year. While I'm nervous about 27 and going from mid-20s to late-20s, fearing aging is only ever shooting yourself in the foot. 27 is so young, still. Age is just a number, and I feel more myself than ever before.

#personal

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capricornwriter5 · 2 years

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OUR SEESAW - Chapter 4

Pairing: Min Yoongi x female OC

Genre: idol au, Suga X female OC, smut, fluff, angst, college romance, friends to lovers, exes to lovers, happy ending. ⚠️Warning: mentions of mental health affections, soft drugs

Words: 4k

➳ Prev. Chapter

Chapter 4 - Your eyes tell

On a Thursday night, Yoongi walked into the practice room quite exhausted since his bosses at the radio station had made him dig the entire city for new microphones. When he finally found them and even got a discount, he went back to the office to collect the money; however, his superiors told him they wouldn't buy them, they had decided over lunch that it wouldn't be a good investment.

Yoongi just took a deep breath and tried not to let that affect him, but he would have appreciated at least one message informing him, so he wouldn't have wasted the whole afternoon. After that, he had gone directly to the university because he had a test. Now, in front of the piano, he began to feel hungry. He didn't even try to look for something in his backpack, he knew there was nothing to eat. Why was he so stupid to spend the money on cigarettes instead of something to eat? It seemed that he would have no choice but to eat when he got home.

Resigned and trying to ignore his stomach, he began to play; yet, something weird was happening to him and his gaze was not on the sheet music or the piano keys, every now and then he looked at the door as if waiting for something, or someone. After almost two months of seeing Emmy entering at a specific hour, it was strange that she was not there.

"Why do I care if she comes or not?" He thought feeling kind of irritated.

A few minutes passed, but the errors while practicing were more persistent. As terribly a perfectionist as he was, Yoongi was already starting to get seriously annoyed with himself. He decided to walk away from the instrument, it hadn't been a good day, maybe if he distracted himself and smoked one of those cigarettes, he could concentrate.

"Hi!"

Emmy's greeting, or rather, scream as she entered, made Yoongi drop his things.

"Fuck" He whispered seeing the disaster he had made, all the cigarettes had scattered on the floor.

"I got out late from my... Are those cigarettes?" She asked closing the door behind her.

"I think you didn't say it loud enough, the people on the second floor didn't hear you."

"I'm sorry," Emm said coming closer to help him. "You shouldn't smoke, you're going to end up with sick lungs."

“It was only one and I rarely do it”

Between the two of them, they picked up and put away the cigarettes. Then, Yoongi sat down again in front of the piano and Emmy stayed next to him. Not even a minute had passed when the boy's stomach rumbled.

"Yoongi! Haven't you eaten?! You're going to pass out!"

"It's not a big deal, I'll have dinner in a bit."

Completely ignoring the musician's words, Emmy grabbed her bag and literally emptied it onto the desk in front of her. “Wait, it has to be around here…”

“Do you have a store there?” Yoongi asked seeing the makeup, perfumes, creams, smaller bags, mirrors, books, chargers, and keys. He also saw a bottle of water and, strangest of all, a stuffed clown.

"I told him not to put it there... Hobi never listens to me." She commented between whispers.

"Emmy, I'd rather you keep everything, something alive can come out of there," He said with his arms crossed, pretending he wasn't that interested, but the truth was that he practically had his head in the girl's bag watching everything that came out. “Hey, be careful, look at the mess. Are those pearls? Are you really throwing pearls on the floor?”

The boy approached, but before he could help her, Emmy put something in his hand, it was a bag with a tangerine inside. Miraculously, the fruit was in perfect condition, none of the thousands of things that the girl had inside bumped it.

“I don't know if you like it, but it's my favorite fruit. I think it's not a good idea for me to bring you coffee today, right?"

Yoongi looked at the fruit not knowing what to say, and it wasn't the first time something from Emmy left him like that. He was not a person who believed in coincidences and considering that all interactions with Emmy left him stunned, many times he didn't even know how to react.

"You don't like it, right?"

"It's my favorite food." The pianist commented showing the first smile of the day. "Thanks"

The girl grinned pleased to have been able to help him with something. Just as she had placed the fruit in his hand, he did the same, handing her half.

"You told me that on Thursdays you had classes all day, you haven't eaten either, right?"

Yoongi wasn't wrong and soon they were both eating while Emmy entertained him by telling him something that had happened when she was on her way to meet him. She was running so fast and with so many things on her hands that she didn't pay attention and ended up tripping over a step.

"They should put a sign at the entrance."

"Or you should slow down."

“I was coming late, and I really wanted to hear you today. You told me that you'd practice with the song that I recommended to you.”

"You could've written to me, I could wait for you." Yoongi tried to say that like it was any comment; however, Emmy noticed how he lowered his gaze and his tone of voice deepened even more. The boy even cleared his throat and looked towards the door, all in order not to look at her.

For her part, Emmy smiled tenderly, it was very sweet to see the serious pianist embarrassed by something.

"I would have, yes, if I had your number."

Emm's answer made Yoongi turn around again and offering his hand, he waited for the girl to give him the cell phone to save his contact.

"The song you asked me for isn't that easy." He remarked while tipping his number. "But I think I nailed it." Emm thought she had heard wrong, but Yoongi's seriousness made it clear to her that it was for real, he had learned the song in just one day. “I still need to work on some parts, do you want to listen to it now, or do you prefer me to play it later? Why do I even ask you?" He laughed seeing Emmy already moving her chair closer to him.

Yoongi's ability to express himself through music was incredible, words could fail him, but the music never. Just as on some occasions the songs he played were significantly intense and serious, others could be melancholy, funny, or tremendously sweet, like that night. Despite Yoongi felt a little tense before Emm got there, now that he was playing the piano again, he was much more relaxed. The soothing movements of his shoulders, as well as a couple of discreet glances that he threw at her, made Emmy's heart feel warm.

The whole time Yoongi played, the girl was thinking about how wrong all those who had judged him as a disinterested and rude boy were. He was quite introverted, that was true, but it was also true that Yoongi could be the most charming and vulnerable person when he opened up through his music.

When the song ended, the pianist looked at Emm's eyes and for the first time, he was intrigued by what someone thought, so much so that he couldn't help but verbalize it.

"And well…? There's still a lot to work on, but…”

“It sounded better than the original,” she answered. “I've only heard one person play it live and it was a long time ago. You did amazing.”

For a few seconds they both held each other's gaze, but Yoongi's shyness made him cut off eye contact.

“It will sound better next time.” He promised getting up.

Yoongi and Emmy left the building together, but the girl's slow pace was enough of a sign for him to understand that she had hurt herself in the fall. He immediately slowed down his steps as he was checking on her. What he could not do was to hear what Emm was saying, for Yoongi was overthinking a simple offer. He wasn't sure it was a good idea. How would he offer to take her home on his motorcycle? Emmy would not get on, and if she accepted, she would surely be uncomfortable. But his motorcycle wasn't that bad... in fact, several girls had asked him to let them ride it, but he always said no. However, Yoongi couldn't visualize someone pulling pearls out of her bag like candy getting on a motorcycle. Or maybe yes? After all, Emmy was anything but predictable. Who else would walk in a window one night and start talking to him out of the blue? If she did that, maybe a motorcycle ride wouldn't be so weird.

Before they knew it, they were already facing the street, his motorcycle was just there. Swallowing hard and trying to ignore the anxiety that was already beginning to creep in, Yoongi spoke.

“You shouldn't walk. If you want, I can…”

Emm didn't have time to answer him when the lights of a car parking right next to the couple dazzled them. It was a latest model car, not even available yet in the market for everyone, it was an exclusive line, one of those that were only seen in movies. However, there it was in front of them and soon they could see who its owner was: Woosung. The singer had just finished classes and was driving home when he saw his friend walking. Woosung stopped and was already lowering the window to speak.

“Emm, what the hell are you doing walking in this cold, have you gone crazy? Get in here."

“Woosung! What are you doing here? I thought you were eating with Hobi and Nara.”

“We've been trying to reach you for over an hour. We want to go to a new place, but we were waiting for you.”

That was when the boy saw who was with Emmy. If Hoseok was indiscreet, Woosung had nothing to envy, as he looked at Yoongi with his mouth open.

Emmy immediately introduced them, but the pianist barely nodded his head in greeting. Yoongi knew perfectly well who Woosung was.

"Do you want to go with us? You could have something more than a tangerine for dinner.” The girl offered with a kind smile and speaking only to Yoongi, all while Woosung was nowhere near getting out of the window to listen.

“I have to work. Check that foot out when you get home.”

Yoongi didn't say anything else, he just put his hands inside his bags and walked away thinking that he had been seconds away from offering the girl a ride on a simple motorcycle when she could perfectly go in a car like the one they had just seen.

"What the hell was I thinking…?"

"Shit, shit, shit, I'm sorry." Woosung apologized when his friend got into the car but was still staring at the pianist. "I'm sorry, you know I don't see well without my glasses, I didn't know it was him."

"For a moment I thought that... no, forget it, impossible." She answered without losing sight of the musician getting on the motorcycle.

“Did I interrupt something important?”

"No" The girl answered convincing herself that she had imagined it and that Yoongi had not been about to offer her a ride home.

*********

A few nights later, Yoongi was getting to the campus when his cell phone rang, and seeing that it was his brother, he didn't think twice to answer. He had an excellent relationship with Geumjae, those four years of difference really seemed to have never existed, since both of them could remember, they always played together and shared everything. The years began to pass and Yoongi's personality became more and more reserved, but that did not mean a distance between them. Yoongi was the first to leave home and it hurt him the most to stop seeing his brother, but there was not way to make Yoongi stay.

They talked every week, but they usually did it in the morning before going to work.

"Hyung, I didn't expect your call."

"I know, I'm sorry to call you at this hour, but I needed to talk to you."

"What's up?"

"Mom's sick."

On another occasion, and with another person, Geumjae would have been more sensitive in breaking the news, but he knew what his brother was like, and beating around the bush with Yoongi was a bad idea, the musician HATED it.

Yet, those words made Yoongi stop in his tracks, his mother was very healthy; to tell the truth, he didn't have a single memory of her sick, he needed his brother to explain. Apparently, it was her hip, she had been in a lot of pain in the last few days, so Geumjae took her to the hospital. They still had to do several tests, but everything seemed to point to significant wear and tear that, if not treated in time, would cause her not to walk again soon.

"What will happen if the results of the tests indicate that it is necessary to operate?"

"The surgery’s almost a fact, that's the problem."

"Hyung, tell me what's going on."

“Mom and dad don't have health insurance, Yoongi. They told us they had not to worry, but they don't."

That conversation with Geumjae forced Yoongi to sit down. Most likely, they would have to operate on his mother, and even if that happened in a few months, because she had to go to therapy first, it was a lot of money, money that he clearly did not have, nor did his brother. His father couldn't help much either, as he was also ill. The pianist would have to look for another job soon, maybe he could double his shifts at the restaurant, yes, that would be the best option.

"Don't call mom yet, I promised her I wouldn't tell you. She doesn't want to worry you. My savings could cover the therapy before the surgery."

"Forget it, hyung, you're still paying the house mortgage."

"Perhaps we could ask for a loan."

"I'll take care of it."

"Yoongi, please, you know that's not possible."

"I'll take care of this," Yoongi repeated, "Just don't tell her anything."

"No, no, and no! I'm sick of covering for you at home. Yoongi, it's not fair that mom and dad don't know that you're the one who has been taking care of so many things."

"You know how they'll react if they know the truth, hyung."

"Come home, at least once, you'll see that things are not as you think."

"Let's just focus on mum's health."

The brothers continued talking, this time about less worrying topics, Geumjae didn't want to ruin his younger brother's night. However, that was almost impossible, and as soon as Yoongi hung up, his mind raced looking for solutions.

"Yoongi?" A voice brought him out of his thoughts and when he looked up, he saw Emmy in front of him with the usual two cups of coffee. “I was on my way to the practice room. What are you doing out here?"

"Hi… There's no rehearsal today, I have things to do and..."

"Wait," She asked sitting next to him. "You don't look good, drink this first."

Yoongi was going to reject the coffee, but without intending it, Emmy convinced him just by showing him a smile. Giving a second thought, there was no reason to refuse the drink, after all, at that hour his boss hadn't arrived at the restaurant, so he couldn't even talk to him to ask for more working hours. Besides, Yoongi couldn't deny how good it felt to drink something hot and sweet. Wait, sweet?

Emmy laughed when she witnessed the pianist's face, and even more when she noticed him smelling the drink.

"It’s hot chocolate."

"Oh! It tastes fine." He answered showing a slight smile, so much so that Emmy barely managed to perceive it. "Look, I think there won't be any more rehearsals for a while."

"What? Why? Please don't tell me someone discovered me! Shit! Yoongi, did I cause you a problem?"

The girl's look of anguish made Yoongi laugh, Emmy had no idea, but her eyes left nothing she was feeling to the imagination. Her face was extremely expressive. Yoongi had already noticed that since he used to watch her from the corner of his eye while she was listing to him. Yoongi had quickly learned to read her gestures, he already knew when she liked a song or when she discovered a mistake during the practice.

It was impossible not to find cute her worry. She had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he had to stop practicing. To tell the truth, when he thought of another job, he tried to think of something else that would not force him to leave those night practices, but he could not visualize any other option.

“No, it has nothing to do with that,” Yoongi reassured. “It's just a change in my work schedule, I won't have free time at night. My roommate will get crazy because I'll need to practice at home."

"Can't you look for another job with another schedule?" She asked while Yoongi shook his head.

For a while none of them spoke, they just drank their chocolates. Both thought exactly the same thing, they did not want the practices to end. For almost two months Yoongi and Emm saw each other practically every night and had even grown used to each other's company. Listening to Yoongi was the only thing that gave Emmy some peace after spending hours studying something she hated. Not to mention that the boy's melodies took her back to the only time she was genuinely happy. Besides, playing for Emmy was exceptionally comforting for Yoongi, as it was the only time he was truly proud of his music. Only then did Yoongi think that he was not trying in vain, and that everything he had been pursuing for years did make sense.

“Yoongi…” Emmy called, steeling herself and making the pianist look at her. “If what you need is a job, you could teach me. That way you could keep rehearsing while I practice what you teach me.”

"Are you serious?" Yoongi asked with a laugh, the idea seemed absurd to him, but seeing that Emmy nodded seriously, he shook his head. "I really don't think that's a good idea."

"I don't have your talent, but I know something, I promise I'll be a good student and I won't bother you, I'll learn fast."

"You aren't the problem." He cleared up right away. "I don't know how to teach and..."

"Well, you learn," Emmy responded as if it were the obvious thing to do. "If it's about the money, I'll pay you the same as what they offer you at your job."

"Emmy, no."

"Okay, double."

Yoongi's eyes widened, firstly because he was surprised by how easily she proposed that without even knowing how much he earned at the restaurant, and secondly because he never imagined that she was genuinely so interested in the piano. However, even though he liked the girl's company, Yoongi couldn't take the job and he had his reasons.

"I appreciate the offer, but my answer is no."

Emmy remembered what Woosung had told her, Yoongi didn't have any friends in college, he refused all group work and was the first to ask to be allowed to do everything individually. However, she had spent time with him and something told her that she could convince him, just as something assured her that it wasn't that he didn't want to, but that he didn't know how to accept it, or that he had had a bad experience before.

"Can't you at least think about it?" The girl insisted.

"You don't even know how much they pay me."

"That's not a problem, I'm willing to pay you whatever you tell me."

"Why?"

“Because I'm not going to find a better professor than you. Even though you say you don't know how to teach, I've listened to you, I know how talented you are.” Emmy smiled tenderly seeing how Yoongi blushed and in order to avoid her, he fixed all his concentration on the hot chocolate. "Also, playing piano was something huge for me, I stopped doing it years ago and I swore I was never even sit in front of one again. If I do it again, it's with you, Yoongi."

Silence and cold surrounded them. While Yoongi wondered what could have kept the girl from music if she loved it so much, she tried to understand why Yoongi had such an impenetrable shield. Had someone hurt him, or had he always been that distrustful and dour?

"Well, since this is supposed to be the last time I see you around here, let's go get something to eat together." She proposed making him look up again. "As a farewell and thanks for letting me listen to you all this time."

The boy was about to answer; however, he froze when he felt Emmy's index finger brush his lips to keep him silent.

“You told me there would be no rehearsal today, you have no more excuses, come on. I'll even let you choose!"

After the news that his brother had given him, Yoongi considered that the last thing he should do was go out, but he accepted. Emmy had something special, something in that bright and positive personality that pushed him to accept everything she proposed.

"Fine, but I'm not sure you're going to like the place."

“Wait a minute! Min Yoongi, are you judging me? YOU? The person who looked like a grumpy cat when I thought you were emo?"

That comment earned Emmy to see the musician's gummy slime for the first time. It was the LAST thing she expected to see on Yoongi's face. In a matter of seconds, his eyes practically disappeared into half-moons and his cheeks plumped in such a way that Emmy thought she had never seen anything cuter in her life. Suddenly, Min Yoongi was no longer the mysterious musician, but an extremely cute boy, with such a bright and comforting aura, that Emmy even stopped breathing in surprise. Yoongi had no idea, he couldn't even suspect how easy it was to steal the girl's heart that night.

"You're right, I'm being a prejudiced idiot. I'm sorry."

"I don't care about the place, as long as it has delicious food, I'll be happy."

"Then, let's go." He said showing her a heartfelt smile.

"Kid?"

An old man's voice made the couple turn around. It was Yoongi's janitor friend. He had seen the boy and came to greet him, but he was quite impressed not only to see him accompanied, but also smiling that way.

“Harabeoji? What are you doing here at this hour?"

"I'm covering for a colleague, it's just for today, you know I don't like to work at night." He explained now turning his gaze to Emmy.

The girl immediately bowed to greet him. The way she did it showed respect for him, something that the old man did not expect, most of the students did not even notice his presence, much less those who came from wealthy families, something more than clear based on the girl's appearance.

"Harabeoji, this is Emmy."

"Good evening, sir. It's a pleasure to meet you."

“The pleasure is certainly mine, miss." He answered impressed by her beauty and good manners. "I've never seen you around here."

"I'm a law student, but I come here to listen to Yoongi from time to time."

“Oh! So he did let YOU stay! This curmudgeonly boy would pout at me when I tried to listen to him in the mornings.”

Yoongi sighed resignedly, he was already sure of what was coming. At the moment Emmy said that Yoongi did the same to her, the two began to talk about how cranky the pianist was.

"You know... I'm still here." Yoongi mentioned looking as grumpy as always.

“Oh, we know! You better hear this from another person that it's not me, maybe that way you stop being so moody." The old man said. "Miss, can you also tell him to cut his hair?"

"Not again..." Yoongi said while Emmy laughed. However, she would never say such a thing, she loved the pianist's long hair. "Harabeoji, I'll see you later. Emmy, let's get out of here." Yoongi was practically pulling the girl by the sleeve of her coat to get them to leave, but he had a hard time doing it, as Emmy was trying to properly say goodbye.

The couple hadn't been far away when she turned and saw the old man walking hunched towards the building.

"Yoongi, do the janitors get coats?"

“Huh? I don't know, why do you ask?"

“Because he can get sick, more so if he'll be working at night.”

Yoongi looked in the same direction as her, and understood what the girl was saying.

“Shit, he came to work again without a coat, he's going to end up getting a cold. He talks about how I don't listen to him and he's the one who doesn't listen to me."

The pianist ran up to the old man and from where Emmy was, she saw how Yoongi put his coat on his shoulders and before the janitor could say a word, the musician was already coming back, completely ignoring all the times the old man told him to stop.

"Come on, you'd be surprised how fast he can be when it suits him."

They quickly managed to lose sight of the old man, and putting his hands inside his pants pockets, Yoongi tried to warm them up; however, it was on his neck where he felt a comforting heat. Without moving a single muscle, the boy witnessed how she finished wrapping her scarf around his neck.

"You can't take good care of others if you don't take care of yourself first."

With a wink from her, and a smirk from him, they headed out on their improvised date.

To be continued... 🐱

➳ Next Chapter

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multiverseofimagines · 2 years

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hi!! could i please have a male and female stranger things ship?

i’m a plus size bisexual girl, 5’3 with medium length shaggy blonde hair and blue/grey eyes. I'm very artsy and really really into music and I would describe my style as punk/90's grunge. I try my best to come off as a confident person but I do get flustered and shy rather easily, I am the designated badass mum friend though. I am a pisces and an INFP. Thank you sm ❤️

I ship you with

Eddie Munson

Oh my god just imagine him smiling at you like that 😭 I’m fucking dead, deceased, gone.

I think you two just would vibe really well. He would confide in you often about his issues with his father, and his family in general.

You’re always there to take care of him, and make sure he’s okay.

You guys are both weirdly, lone wolves? You guys like to wander and be free, this sense of like, wanting open road and just living you know? You spend your time in the woods or at reefer ricks, getting stoned, deep talks.

You guys are literal soulmates, like it feels destined to be. Complete twin flames.

He has a ceremony with the hellfire club to make you an honorary member for life, they make you your own tshirt and everything.

He’s terrified of losing you. Would definitely sacrifice himself for you, because the last thing he wants is for you to get hurt + you make him brave, his love for you is hella inspirational.

He gives you his guitar pick necklace 😭 so you have a piece of him wherever you go.

When he distracts the bats, you jump into the gate instead of dustin and run after him. You find him fighting for his life before death settles in. Your hysterical but trying to stay calm so you can talk to him “you idiot! Why would you do that? why? “ he can’t help but chuckle as he coughs up blood, your hands have settled upon the bloody wounds he’s suffered, you can’t let go. “ It’s okay, we just gotta get you back, its okay.” he looks up at you, tears rolling down his cheeks, his breathe is rattled, “ I told you, that I would do anything to protect you.” You cried harder your hands soiled from his bloodied wounds, “Im gonna get you home okay? and we’re gonna go back to the way it was.” he smiles softly, you can tell he’s in pain, “that place was never my home, you were.” he rattles out his last breath. You do not leave his side.

(I’m sorry y’all were giving me starcrossed, destined to be doomed vibes and plus im emotional tonite so don’t hate me 😂)

Look-Book

- it was a little difficult finding plus size friendly examples, ( cause fatphobia is so prevalent on sites like pinterest still and within the fashion community tbh) but as a plus size woman, I wanted to choose the best options that not only would fit all sizes, but were keeping accurate to the time period and your style so hopefully your good with this!

Playlist

- when looking for the music for this I was like SO INSPIRED. I stg I wanna write a whole ass fanfic about you guys. I chose songs that were giving me; you and eddie vibes, I chose a couple that were definitely more 90’s instead of 80’s. I decided for this one I wanted to add like my fave lyric from the song that made me pick it, so you can have some insight(from one music nerd to another), and also cry with me cause y’all made me soft ANYWAY.

Heaven and Hell By Black Sabbath; “ Love Can be seen as the answer, but nobody bleeds for the dancer.” And “ The world is full of Kings and Queens, who blind your eyes and steal your dreams.” THAT ONE had me like “vecna???” also the guitar solo and bridge right there is AMAZING. Waisted potential they didn’t use this song in Season 4.

Straight Through The Heart by Dio; “ Living in a world of Make Believe, I can hide behind whats real.” This whole song gave me Eddie vibes and how he felt growing up, being kind of abandoned by his Family in a way, and being bullied.

Bigmouth Strikes Again By The Smiths; There wasn’t much of a lyric in this song that really took me by the heart, it was just the whole thing, it sounds sad and somehow romantic? Its about how the protagonist feels as though he is being judged for the things he says, and how he has a big mouth, which is just so relatable to Eddie, how passionate he is about being different and how he feels about society (jumping up on tables with his big speeches and such) The way he says “Sweetness” really sold me as something Eddie would say as a nickname for you perhaps as well.

Love will Tear Us Apart By Joy Division; “ Why is the bedroom so cold, turned away on your side.” Honestly I thought about the aftermath of his death after Dustin probably had to drag you away, the feeling of not knowing how to move on feeling the coldness of the room without his presence. Also feeling resentment for his sacrifice, how his love for you tore you apart.

Heart-Shaped Box By Nirvana ; You said 90’s grunge and that you were pisces and I was sold on this one lmao 😜 okay that was only half of it!! The whole song is super romantic, its so devotional to the person he loves and I feel like Eddie would be similar, just completely utterly in love with you in a torturous way.

Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) By Journey; “If we can’t go on, to survive the tide love divides.” “ If you must go, I wish you love, you’ll never walk alone, take care my love.” This one had me in like TEARS. Like if You and Eddie were in the show, this would be playing as he sacrifices himself i stg.

1979 by Smashing Pumpkins; “ I know you better than you fake it.” The whole song sounds like love ended too early, so I added this one! And “ We don’t know just where our bones will rest, to dust I guess.” Its really about the mortality of a relationship, and accepting it because you appreciate the time you have with that person.

Malibu by Hole; The whole song sounds like grief from tragedy of losing a loved one, trying to save them from their fate. I just really wanted some tragic songs to go along with my headcanon so have fun with that. (Also Hole lowkey slaps so hard, Like I’m not a huge fan of Courtney, but damn I just love all her music?)

#stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things headcanons #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson #stranger things ship #multiverseofimagines ships

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mechazushi · 1 month

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Story Idea #4 (story mechanic edition)

So this isn't really a full story per say, so much as a magic mechanical system to play around with and I had an idea for a personality type for the protagonist that could be found in this story. Just so we're all on the same page, I picture this setup taking place in a world that's like 'Promised Neverland', but depressing and traumatic in a different direction.

The system goes like this. An Elder society goes out into the world and collects children. Some towns/countries might voluntarily collect the kids for them, with some prominent families offering up their kids and tells them that its a great honor. Some places might let them only get away with orphans or pick them up from destitute parents. the point is LOTS of kids, mostly around 5 or 6, get taken away because they have some sort of magical attribute. All of them get placed into a massive room filled with toys and select other things. Mainly simple ones like handmade looking plushies, wooden puzzle boxes, tops, wooden carts, figurines, and just a menagerie of things. I also think some books would also be in here, but that's just me. Point is that its all simple stuff, none of its modern cuz' its fantasy. (No Transformer action figures or stuff like that. Think sh*t you would find at the Air temple during the avatar selection test) The kids get to pick three, no more; no less, and play with them for a few years. They are told they have to keep the ones they pick up for a week and after that then they can trade between themselves for the rest of the years they have left.

When they turn 10 or so, they are stuck with their choices, because now is where the fun begins. Turns out all of the toys were actually magical artifacts that can turn into useful items and weapons. The time period between 5 and 10 was to let the kids make REALLY sure that these were the ones they wanted to get stuck with and more or less form a permanent bond with the tools. Maybe there's a whole thing about the longer you bond, the stronger the weapon is or there is disastrous consequences for trying to attach yourself to a different toy later in life. After this is essentially Jedi youngling training till about 15/16, but child solder flavored and they all have unhealthy coping mechanisms thanks to a literal life or death dependency on three toys that they chose when they were 6. See what I mean when I said this could be 'The Promised Neverland' but depressing in a different direction. The kids live to see their teenager years, but the road to get there was.... interesting

I don't really know what these kids would be fighting or why a magical society would think this would be a good plan to counteract whatever the hell it is everyone is fighting. That is, short of writing it into the lore of the world and going "Because I said so". I may be psychotic on occasion, but I don't think I could ever be psychotically depressed enough to give this concept the proper seasoning and shock factor flair that I know this could generate.

As for the Protagonist; this is just me, but I kinda picture it as a he/him that acts like an a**hole. But he's a justified a**hole. Orphan, loner, emo type. Picked his three and didn't share at any point because the rest of the kids were jacka**ess and tormented him. To the point were it was an on site situation where the protag (almost) never started fights, but sure as hell finished them. I kinda see the story pick up, after three episodes of training montages and exposition flashbacks, we see the main guy has decided to take his selection and just lives in the woods in the back of the facility. The place has dorms, he just can't stand being there 24/7. If he stays longer than what it takes to grab a lunch bag, get to class, or get mission info then somebody starts asking to get put in a body bag. He's of course got one friend that's the comedic relief, but might actually have the sadder backstory out of the two and just never says it because its that far repressed. Protag treats his only friend and maybe, like, one or two other people like shit because he's never known what its like having friends that's never back-stabbed him or openly tried to fight him for no reason. Eventually learns how to apologize (Of course someone has to get sacrificed/almost sacrificed first) and maybe they help achieve peace throughout the land, or some equivalent thereof.

#story idea #toys #magic system #protag is an a**hole #power of friendship (and trauma)#take it or leave it

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cassandrajoybellbittner · 4 months

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All It Took Was One Look - Chapter 4

*Warning Adult Content*

Aiden

After that crazy family episode Jeanine, Eric and I made plans to hang at Starbucks for a while.

It was our favorite hangout spot.

It was a Sunday and I was dying to get out of this house, Nash was still hounding me about what mom was talking about on Friday.

He just didn't believe me and I was starting to get annoyed.

I literally had to slam the door in his face and lock it, he was knocking yelling to open the door for a whole five minutes till he finally gave up.

I mean damn do I looked like a damsel in distress?

I can handle myself. Jeez.

And this is the reason why I'm planning my escape from this loony bin I call a home.

I took a quick shower, towel dried my hair;.m

My hair was naturally straight so I didn't have to waste my time on it.

I bumped into Connie on the way down stairs.

I quickly grabbed her by the arms and steadied her on her feet.

"Dang Con, my bad," I said to her, I really don't think that she heard me though since she hand her iPod in.

I walked past her into the kitchen where my dad was drinking coffee and reading a new book.

Sitting at the table across him I took an orange off the table and began to peel it.

It was silent for a long while.

I was half done with my orange when my dad finally looked up from him book and said something.

"So what's on your agenda for today?" he asked meeting my gaze.

I shrugged stuffing the rest of my orange in my mouth.

"Eric and Jayare coming to pick me up to go to Starbucks."

I got up to throw the peels away and turn towards him leaning a hip on the counter.

He nodded taking a sip of coffee.

"You should take Connie with you. She's been bored all day," he suggested.

I frowned at him like he was crazy.

Connie has friends, she doesn't need to hang out with mine.

"She has her own friends. She doesn't need to hang with mine," I voiced my thoughts.

He sighed and shook his head.

"I think her and Jennifer had a fight. She's been moping around here all weekend. So I thought you could be a good big brother and take her mind off of it. Or is that just social suicide," he said with a fake shocked face.

I suppressed my smile as I shook my head at him.

"Okay, okay. I'll take her," I huffed at him leaving the kitchen with slouched shoulders.

I knocked on Connie's door.

"Come in," she yelled.

Opening the door I saw her laid out on her back reading some teen magazine.

'Con and her magazines,' I thought mentally shaking my head.

I looked around her room and saw all the posters and articles she had torn from them tapped to her walls.

Her room was a sky blue but every inch of the walls were coved in her stupid posters and pictures of friends.

Looking over to her, she was staring at me impatiently.

"Hurry up and get dressed were going out," I said before turning to leave.

"Okay," her chipper voice followed me as I left.

I grabbed my cell-phone from my room and called Jay.

"Hey man," Eric's voice startled me, did I call the right person?

As I was about to check he said.

"Yes you called the right number dumbass but Jay's driving," he said.

I rolled my eyes... smart ass.

"We're almost there," I heard Jay yell through the phone.

"Yeah like she said we're almost there," he said.

"Oh okay. I just called to let you guys know that Connie's coming with us," I told him and heard him repeat it to Jay and regrettably her scream.

'OMG I miss her we have so much to talk about.'

I held the phone away from my ear wincing as it started to ring.

God I hated it when she did that.

"Tell her to warn a person first before she goes all banshee statues," I growled at Eric.

He chuckled repeated it to her.

Connie came in my room and sat on my bed waiting for me.

I looked at her and rolled my eyes at my cell-phone causing her to giggle.

"What?" I asked Eric because I missed what Jay was saying.

"She said to get off and shove it," he repeated, I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Yeah I'll shove it in her mouth," I said.

Connie looked at me with as her jaw dropped.

Oops I forgot I had to be g-rated around her.

"You do know you're on speaker right?" I heard Jay say.

I shrugged and said...

"Doesn't change a thing."

"Whatever jackass. We're outside now. Hurry up. I NEED MY CAFENIE," she screamed again but this time I just hung up.

My friends are just as crazy as my family.

"Come on," I told Connie as I left the room.

We bounced down the stairs.

"I'm leaving," I yelled to whoever was listening.

I heard my dad answer, asking if Connie was with me and I answered yes, rolling my eyes as we made our way to the car.

As we climbed in the back seat Jay turned to look at us.

She looked at me with a big smile.

"Hello fat cow," she yelled in a fake British accent.

"Hello fatter cow," I responded with the same.

"Hey Con Con," Jay said excitedly.

"Hey, Jay," she said smiling brightly.

At least she was happy.

I'm going to have to ask her what happened with Jennifer at some time..

"Hey man," I heard Eric said from the front seat reaching back here to do the guy handshake.

"Hey," I said, back at him.

"Alright. It's time for my daily dose of COFFEE," Jeanine yelled before pealing out of the drive way.

Not long after, we were at Starbucks ordering.

"And you, sir?' the lady asked me.

"I'll have a mocha frap with an extra shot, no whip, please," I said then looked down at Connie.

"What do you want?" I asked her taking out my wallet.

"Same as you," she said walking over to where Eric and J sat as I paid and went to join them.

"So how's life Con Con," Jay asked, taking a sip of her drink.

I don't know how she did it but her coffee was already ready when we got here.

We all gave her a crazy look which resulted in...

"What, I got hook ups bitches..." and sat down enjoyed her crack because that was what coffee was to her.

"Ah. A bummer..." Connie answered.

"Aww, why?" she asked her straw still in her mouth, like a breathing tube or something.

Eric noticed as well and we started cracking up.

She gave us a weird looks before focusing back on Connie.

"Well me and my best friend got in to it on Friday," she muttered.

Now I'm listening.

"Oh and what happened?" Jay asked straw still in her mouth.

"Well I mean we were having a great time, we were watching the new season of vampire diaries and then her cell-phone rang so I grabbed it playing around, you know. But when I saw who was calling. I got mad. I mean why would he call her?"

"Aiden. Connie."

Our names being called interrupted her story.

I quickly got up and grabbed the drinks thanking the lady and heading back.

Handing Connie hers and a straw I went back to focusing on her.

"Thanks," she said to me before continuing.

"So anyway, like I said I was confused as to why he was calling her. So I asked her but she started acting weird and wouldn't look me in the eye, then I just knew. She was going out with Bobby, MY Bobby," she said animated.

She had a scowl on her face.

Then it hit me, she said 'My Bobby.'

She's only fourteen, she doesn't need to be dating.

Or calling them hers.

I mean I'm seventeen and I haven't even been kissed... Don't judge me.

"No. So this bobby guy is like your boyfriend or something?" Jay asked consumed in the story.

"W-well not exactly, it's just that I really like Bobby, ever since fifth grade and here comes Jen trying to steal him from me. She knows how I feel about him," she exclaimed throwing her hands in the air.

I looked over to Eric who was shaking his head at how ridiculous this conversation was.

"So she finally told me that Bobby asked her out and she... said.... yes. So I left and haven't talked her since."

"Well hun let me tell you something," Jay began.

"A boy isn't important enough to ruin your friendship with Jennifer. So here what you do. You go back to your friend's house tell her that what she did was wrong especially if she knew how you felt about it. Then sit down and finish watching vampire diaries because Damen's a sexy beast," she finished... taking a congratulatory sip from her drink.

I shook my head.

"Yeah Con you shouldn't even be thinking about boys in the first place," I told her sternly.

"Your one to talk," she scoffed as she sipped her frappe.

My heart stopped as I realized what she said and who was sitting at the table.

My gaze snapped towards Eric and he had a confused look on his face.

He was frowning at Connie before he turned to me.

I looked to Jay with pleading eyes, she caught it.

"Sooo, E-r-i-c," she said dragging out his name to grab his attention.

"Did you meet any hot girls in Alaska? Oh, wait they were probably all cold weren't they, am I right?" she said raising her hand to him for a high five.

Eric stared at her with wide eyes before busting up.

"Ne-never i-in your l-life say that again," he exclaimed clutching his stomach as he hunched over the table.

"What, I thought it was clean," She grumbled around her straw.

"Yeah but it was so puny," Eric said taking a deep breath.

"No but seriously I didn't know that place was hiding all those furry booted babes, I would have visited my pops a long time ago. Like the time when I found out what my dick could do."

This caused me to choke on my coffee, Connie was hitting my back as hard as she could. It really didn't help.

Once I caught my breath I gave Eric a death glare.

"What?" he asked giving me and innocent look.

"My sister's at the table," I hissed glaring at him.

His mouth formed an 'o' then he grinned sheepishly.

"My bad Con," he said to her and she just waved it off.

"You're such a pig," Jay said taking a swig of her drink.

"Oink, oink baby," he said wiggling his eyes suggestively.

Connie started to laugh at that.

I just shook my head, ever since we had seen that 'Saved by the Bell' episode this is how these conversations ended.

"So Aiden, are you up to going with me next time to my pops so we can wreak havoc on the ladies?' he asked, looking at me intently.

I just laughed nervously.

"Y-yeah, l-let's get in th-those pants," I said awkwardly clearing my throat.

I caught Connie's frowning face.

"What? But I thought you were..." Jay quickly stated coughing loudly causing Eric to pat her back worriedly while I shoved Connie's straw in her mouth.

"Let's not let this go to waste," I said patting her head. I sighed grabbing my coffee.

My hairs going to turn grey before this day even ends.

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samtheflamingomain · 2 years

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alive: how to traumatize a 13yo in one easy step!

Alive is a movie about a group of people whose plane crashes in the Andes mountains, and yes this is the next descriptive sentence, "they must make difficult decisions to survive". I'm 13, in French class, watching this movie with French dub, and I suddenly vomit.

Well, not so suddenly. The movie starts kinda normal. Plane crash. Worry. Desperati- oh okay they're already eating their dead classmates very cool and normal.

Not even in passing, off-screen or in conversation. Nah, we're 15m in and they're literally slicing off meat from a dead person in 4k.

You may be asking yourself, "Why were you watching this in French class of all subjects?"

Well I'll tell you why: we were assigned to read a book about a man stranded in the Andes. He doesn't eat other people. There is literally no other connection, I think the teacher just googled "stranded in andes movie" and picked the first hit.

To get back to my vomit, I was the second one to physically react. Paulina was allowed to leave after starting to cry as the first corpse was cut up. I tried to keep it together but again, I'm like 13. I didn't wake up saying "Boy I sure hope to see a man eaten by his best friend at 9am today!"

It was super embarrassing in the moment, and I was of course excused. The entire class waited in the hall while my vomit was cleaned up.

I was sent to the counselor's office, but after 20m, the rest of the class reentered the room to continue the film. After one student cried and another vomited. I didn't know this until the next day, where we resumed the film. I cannot fathom what made my French teacher think this was a good idea.

I put my head down and had earbuds in for the entire class, usually a punishable offense. But I was one of at least 4 or 5 others that did the same.

Alive is widely considered to be a horror movie because of its deeply upsetting and graphic nature. If I'd been told that and watched as an adult, I don't think I'd have the insanely traumatic memories associated with it.

As a kid, I had horrible OCD. Totally eradicated through the right combo of meds and basic therapy, not even the least of my present-day issues.

But I still get 2 days. "Human Centipede" days and "Alive" days. Where I am consumed by the images of each film and they bring me deep discomfort I cannot escape. HC started because I heard of it and read the Wiki entry and... just obsessed over the very concept.

Alive days are more... graphic? I haven't watched even a second of HC, but was forced to watch all of Alive. So when I have an Alive day, it's filled with clips from the film. HC days are mostly me obsessing over how unbearable it would be to be In The Middle. It legit consumes me for hours just imagining every sensation and how it would be traumatizing.

But my worst HC days are really bad just because of the concept, but days when I remember Alive often lead me to the question, would I ever eat my best friend to stay alive? And I know the answer is yes, but I don't want it to be.

HC is just visceral disgust and horror. Alive is a goddamn philosophical endeavor. And I have so, so, SO many visuals from that film permanently engraved into my brain. HC is a worse concept but at least I've managed to never see more than one or two images of the film.

It's actually, now that I think about it, kind of interesting that a film I've never seen hits me as hard as one I have. I think it comes down to the very specific concept of HC hitting me in the right way versus Alive being a movie I watched with 15 other people and everyone reacted as expected. Maybe that doesn't make sense. Experiencing something, even something traumatic, with other people can very much lessen the trauma it may cause simply by being able to share it with others.

Everything I know about Human Centipede is text. Everything I know about Alive was a lived experience. Their Days are bad but differently. It's hard to explain. They feel so different but I know it's the symptom of the same illness.

I know it's an Alive Day when I wake up sweating thinking "Oh my god I just ate a friend". I know it's a HC Day when I wake up and have to run and puke and then I say oh my god what if I was In The Middle and I can't stop.

I know no one really cares, and honestly, it's really rare for me to get OCD days now cuz I do have a solid Pharmacopia that helps but some days I can't stop it. OCD may be far down on my list of Big Problems, but for me, it never really goes away.

Last point, a bit long but really hammers home how bad it can get. These Days, as a kid, used to be consecutive without stopping. I wrote about 200 pages of a journal in the 2 months that followed me seeing one (1) still image of Human Centipede and me reading the Wiki. That's all it took to launch me into the worst summer of my life.

During this summer, we were watching Beavis and Butthead, and they made reference to HC. If you're unfamiliar, they usually play a 1-2m clip of the reference before making jokes. I absolutely LEAPT across the room for the remote, hurting my father, landing on the ground before I hit the "off" button just as the clip was about to roll. Dad crying out in pain, me bruised from the dive. But I absolutely collapsed to the floor in relief and started sobbing.

"What in the FUCK are you doing?" Dad asked, not unwarranted.

"I can't see it. I can't see that movie." Then we went into a convo about my OCD about HC and they didn't understand and just wanted me to put the TV back on. I couldn't. I said I had to wait 5 minutes to be sure I didn't see clips when it went back on. During this time (I was literally counting seconds in my head) I tried to explain why HC was so bad for my OCD but they just didn't get it. It was one of the most frustrating mental illness moments of my life. Luckily I had the remote and thus controlled when viewing would resume.

I don't have a huge point I'm building to but I do have a take-away: anything that causes you that guttural feeling of deep discontent is valid. Might take years of therapy to accept it but if I've learned anything from therapy it's this: if it upsets you, it's not unimportant or silly. There's a reason it upsets you and it's worth talking about.

Stay Greater.

#sam #ocd #horror tw #horror movies #mental illness

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