#like i think i’m definitely gonna be getting. a lot wrong but i’ve just been trying to Understand. and to Comprehend and then to Accept | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

forever-rogue · 8 months

Note

Bee you’re so amazing and sweet and kind and I hope you know what a beautiful positive impact you’re on this site 💙

I saw you’re accepting Steven Grant requests and my heart is singing cause I miss him so much!!! Might I suggest sweet and shy Steven finding every excuse available to go see you at work but never working up the courage to ask you out until one day he thinks someone else will ask you on a date and he finds his courage to do it first?

AN | I’ve missed him! He’s the best and I’m glad he’s back😌

Pairing | Steven Grant x Fem!Reader

Warnings | None

Word Count | 2.9k

Masterlist | Main, Moon Knight

── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

"Your friend is here again," Cameron's voice caused you to look up from the espresso machine. You looked around the cafe in confusion, "well, your favorite customer."

"My favorite customer?" You echoed as Cameron laughed. There were a lot of people who came in on a regular basis so you had no clue as to who they could be referring to, "umm…who?"

"I think his name is Steven?" At the sound of his name your entire face lit up. Alright, maybe you did have a favorite customer, "so I was right!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," you lied, your entire face flushing with warmth, "he's just like anyone else. He just happens to be extra nice."

"He's been walking around outside for like ten minutes now," you peeked past Cameron and looked outside, indeed finding him pacing around. You couldn't help but giggle at him, "wonder if he'll actually come in."

"I'm sure he will," you certainly hoped so anyway, "maybe he's just waiting for a call or something."

"Or maybe his favorite barista is making him nervous and he's trying to get his act together," Cameron suggested as you shrugged innocently, "he's finally going to ask you out!"

“Oh my - stop!” you were laughing nervously and trying to hide your flaming face. You were definitely trying not to imagine him actually asking you on a date. It was a scenario you had imagined and daydreamed of about a thousand times before. But never once had you allowed yourself to believe that it might actually come true. And yet…you shook your head to yourself as you aggressively scrubbed a spot on the counter that you hoped was burnt chocolate and not anything else. You could feel Cameron’s eyes focused on you, “listen. I-I’m not going to flatter myself and think that he might actually like me.”

“And just why not, miss ma’am?” they asked as you shrugged, mumbling something under your breath. They were still waiting for your answer as you turned around and groaned loudly, “I’m telling you, and I would never lie to you, that is something is definitely there between the two of you. Like a spark or something.”

“Cam-” you cast another look outside and found Steven still there. Utter panic and confusion was etched onto his handsome face and you made a small sound of concern. You hoped that nothing was wrong, “he’s like a friend at best.”

“But he could be more if you’d both stop being such weenies,” and yeah, you couldn’t deny that they weren’t necessarily wrong.

“I’m just…I’m gonna go and make sure he’s okay,” you whipped off your apron and tossed it on the counter before walking past the counter and outside the small patio area. At the sound of the bell twinkling over the door, Steven turned around and looked and was immediately surprised to see you standing there. You smiled softly and held up your hand in a small wave, “hey Steven.”

“H-hi,” he stammered nervously, cheeks immediately darkening as he took you in. The reality was that he’d been trying to work up the courage to come in and see you, and hopefully not make a fool of himself. It seemed like every time he saw, his brain turned to absolute mush and he wasn’t able to form even a single coherent sentence. A part of him that had hoped that by now he’d be able to actually hold a conversation with you but that seemed like an impossible challenge.

“Is everything alright?” you asked softly and his eyes widened in panic, “I-I don’t mean to pry it was just that we noticed you pacing around. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Yes, of course,” he wasn’t sure if he was more embarrassed by the fact that you’d noticed him pacing, or more touched by the idea that you cared enough to go and check on him. Both…definitely both. You visibly relaxed at the small smile on his face, “I was just…thinking.”

“Oh! Well, we’ve all been there,” the temptation to ask what he was thinking about was almost too great, but you held your tongue. You weren’t sure if he had actually planned on coming inside or if he was going to leave now, but you weren’t ready to part from him, “do you want to come in and I can make you a tea? We’ve just finished baking some fresh biscuits if you’d care to sample.”

“You want me to come in?” he pointed at himself, almost in disbelief and wanting to make sure you were sure. He wouldn’t flatter himself with the idea that you wanted to spend time with him. But what if…

“Yes, silly! Who else?” you put your hand on his arm and gently motioned for him to follow you. Once reality caught up with him, he smiled and eagerly followed into the warm, cozy cafe. He’d learned to love spending time here, especially whenever his schedule coincided with yours, “c’mon!”

“Right behind you,” he promised gently. He was at the point where he was pretty sure that he’d already follow you whenever you went. And that realization was both exciting and terrifying, “right behind you.”

── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

Steven, sweet, shy Steven had grown very fond of you. Or in love with you as Marc liked to put. He didn’t necessarily agree or disagree on that account. He often came in when you were working if his schedule coincided with yours. He’d more or less memorized the days and times you worked but in truth it had been accidental. He was keenly aware of a lot of things and you had just become such a regular part of his life and he had become very attuned to you.

It was a dreary afternoon when Steven got off work, and on a weekend on top of it, he decided he could do with a warm afternoon pick-me-up. And he’d get to see you, which was a definite pick-me-up on its own. There was a definite spring to his step as he made his way over to your little cafe, and he even allowed himself to daydream of asking you on a date. It was something that he’d thought about often, more than he ever dared to admit, but he just couldn’t manage to turn into a reality.

Marc had even tried to coach him on it, encouraging him to finally ask you instead of just talking about it. Steven had almost even felt ready to do it, but then he just…couldn’t. He’d see your pretty face and that sugar sweet smile and he’d practically melt into a puddle. A puddle that couldn’t do much more than stare longingly at times.

But today felt different. Today felt like the day he might actually have the courage in his bones to ask you. Maybe it was an overinflated sense of self or something in the air but it all just felt so right. Feeling extra bold, he even allowed himself to stop at one of the small street vendors and purchase a small bouquet of flowers. You’d mentioned it once in passing that you liked daisies more than anything and once he spotted them he knew he was going to grab them for you.

By the time he made his way into the cafe, his eyes were already scanning the place for you. When he spotted you, he grew delighted and was ready to rush over. When he realized the current situation you were in, he stopped in his tracks and inhaled sharply.

You were standing at the counter, leaning on your elbows as you chatted away with some customer. A very handsome customer from what Steven could discern from only seeing his backside. His heart practically dropped into his stomach at the sweet expression on your face. You were clearly invested into the conversation and that made him take a few steps back and contemplate running out the door.

As thought you had some kind of sixth sense for him, you looked up and locked eyes with him. His big, brown eyes softened but the expression on his face was nothing short of panic as you waved cheerily at him. He held up the flowers in return as your curiosity piqued - who were the flowers for? You, a part of your heart secretly wished.

“Hi Steven!” you excused yourself from the other - a friend maybe? - and went over to him, “fancy meeting you here.”

“I could say the same to you,” he managed to tease in return, heart beating wildly inside his chest. You always managed to make him nervous, butterflies exploding in his stomach and heart practically stopping. He felt more like a boy rather than a grown man, but it was a feeling he still managed to love and crave. He looked down at the flowers in his hands and back at your inquisitive eyes before deciding to just do it. It was now or never, “t-these are for you.”

“For me?” and yeah. He instantly knew he’d made the right decision as soon as the simple question escaped your lips. He nodded shyly before handing them over to you, “oh my goodness. They’re daisies! I love them - Steven, I…thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he stammered over his words and found it almost impossible to meet your eyes. He was sure he would have melted into a puddle then and there, “I should umm… I can see-”

“Come on,” you were almost pleading with him. And honestly, who was he to say no to you? You almost skipped behind the counter, grabbing a large pitch and filling it with cool water before putting your new flowers into it. Each step was done with gentle reference before you turned back to him, “what can I make you?”

“Oh, you don’t have to-” he leaned against the counter and tried to play you off, but you weren’t having it. You put your hand on top of his and gave it a gentle squeeze, and his heart almost stopped.

“Don’t even try that on me, Steven,” you insisted and he just made a small sound in response, “your regular or can I try something new and surprise you?”

“Surprise me,” he squeaked as you busied yourself with making him something special. You continually surprised him and it was one of the things he was coming to adore about you. He decided to be bold and push his luck and see if he could get a little information about the man that you had been chatting to. Just you know…out of sheer curiosity. For science…or something like that, “busy day?”

“Oh you know, just the usual,” you waved your hand around, brow furrowed in concentration and tongue peeking out of your mouth, “average weekend afternoon. Lots of tourists and all that. What about you?”

“There’s a new exhibit on the old kingdom of Egypt at the museum,” he tried to contain his excitement; he loved talking about his job and he knew you liked hearing about it but he didn’t want to bore you either. He was still trying to figure out where the line was, “so lots of crowds, but they all seemed excited, which makes it worthwhile.”

“That’s great,” you smiled at it, handing him the beverage you had made specially for him, “I’d love to see sometime! I’ll have to come by sometime when you’re working, and you can give me the tour. If you’d like…”

“I’d love that,” his entire face lit up as you made up your mind that you would see him as soon as got an afternoon off when he was working, “there’s so much I could show you.”

“I’m sure you could,” you agreed as you went to grab him a fresh pastry, “Steven, I-”

Before you could manage to say anything else, you heard your name being called from the back. You sighed softly and gave Steven an apologetic look before turning towards the kitchen, “sorry, duty calls - I’ll talk to you later, alright?”

“Of course, yes, definitely,” his entire face was falling as he watched you walk away. Realistically he knew that you were at work and had to attend to your job but it still wished you could stay. There was something so magnetic about you that continued to draw him in. You were like a warm, sweet hot chocolate on a rainy afternoon, or a gentle, soft breeze on a perfect spring day, “bye…”

Alright, he was really ging to need to do something and either ask you out finally or just let this all go and move on. But being stuck in this odd limbo of sorts was only to make things worse or continue to break his heart. And, he wagered with himself, if he asked you out and you said no, he’d know where he stood. But…it would still break his heart a little if you only wanted to be friends.

What a dilemma indeed.

Marc was going to kick his ass later for not asking you out today when he had the perfect opportunity to say so.

Heck.

-── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

Steven kept his distance for a few days, which you definitely noticed. You were sure that he was busy with work and life and tried not to let it bother you but you definitely missed his presence. It was hard not to notice the absence of the sunshine he brought in all the time.

Steven, meanwhile, had been trying to work up the nerve to come and see you. He had promised himself (and Marc) that the next time he saw you he was going to ask you out. There were no if ands or buts at this point. Unless, you know, there was an emergency or something…then it would just be rude. Anyway -

He made his way to the cafe and came inside without allowing himself to have any second thoughts. To his dismay and chagrin, he found the same customer from the other day chatting you up again. Talk about bad timing. He waited until the man left and made a beeline over to you.

“Hey there!” you looked at him with starry eyes and a bright smile, “I’ve missed you!”

“Hi, I - wait. You’ve missed me?” he asked softly as you nodded, “it’s been a busy few days.”

“You don’t have to explain to me,” you insisted, “just know that whenever I get to see you I’m happy.”

“Will you go out with me?” he blurted his question out before he could take it back or have any second thoughts. You blinked at him owlishly a few times, trying to make sure that you’d heard him correctly. When you saw the pretty pink blush creeping into his neck and cheeks you were positive you’d heard him correctly.

“Like on a date?” you asked, you know, just to clarify.

“Y-yeah,” he answered nervously as you inhaled sharply, a sound of excitement, “I-I am. Unless you’re dating someone already! Like-like that guy you were talking to earlier.”

“James?” you made a sound of amusement before waving off the idea that you had anything romantic with him, “he’s my cousin! He’s been here visiting, that’s all.”

“Oh,” his embarrassment was quickly overshadowed by his excitement and nerves. That meant…, “oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” you teased lightly, “but umm…if the offer still stands, then I’d love to take you up on it.”

“You want to go on a date?” he pointed at himself as you giggled, unable to stop yourself from the incredulous look on his face, “with me?”

“Yes!” you hoped that he could understand just how much you wanted this too. The idea of asking him out had crossed your mind several times and you had almost done it yourself but the right situation just hadn’t come up, “I’d really like that.”

“Right, yeah, me too,” he seemed almost like he was incredibly surprised by your eagerness, “so then it’s a date.”

“It’s a date,” you confirmed, a saccharine silence falling over the two of you. You swallowed the nervous lump in your throat, “how does tonight work? I’m off in about an hour.”

“Tonight?!” you hoped he wasn’t getting cold feet now that the reality of an actual date hit him. You shrugged sheepishly before nodding, “yeah…tonight works. That’d be…great.”

“Good,” you couldn’t stop yourself from leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek, “do you want to wait or meet me back here later?”

“I’ll wait,” he touched the spot on his cheek that had been blessed by your lips, a starry look on his face, “maybe with a tea in the meantime?”

“I can do that,” yeah, you liked this guy a lot. And you were excited to see where it could all go, “that sounds perfect.”

“Yes,” he agreed, “perfect.”

#steven grant #steven grant x reader #steven grant x fem!reader #steven grant x you #steven grant imagine #steven grant one shot #moon knight #oscar isaac

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piichuu · 5 months

Text

♡ DAYLIGHT - WORTH THE WAIT

NOVEMBER 25TH

7:28PM

your apartment is quiet except for the sound of the television being switched on for you to watch. it’s a lazy saturday for once and you’re curled up in blankets while leaning your head against a cushion. but that is all until there is a knock on the door, a rather quiet one that can still be heard throughout the entire apartment.

after contemplating on whether or not to get up from the couch and actually answer the door, you decide that it may be the best thing to do. perhaps it’s someone who’s come to deliver a package or two.

with the blanket still draped over your shoulders, you open the door only for your eyes to widen in surprise. it is most definitely not a post man, it’s nanami kento who’s now standing in your doorway with his blonde hair that has become messy, it seeming to have been pouring down rain on him.

he drags his hand through his hair and sighs. “i quit my job,” he says, looking at you with seemingly hope in his eyes. they don’t look as tired as they always do even though the dark circles under them are still there. “i’m not gonna continue with jujutsu sorcery.”

it takes a short while for you to realize what it is he’s saying. he quit his job? that was the only thing that was standing in the way for the two of you. was it really this easy after all?

“i can’t be without you for another day, y/n. it feels like my entire soul has been crushed without you close to me,” nanami admits, still standing in the doorway, not wanting to disturb your space in case you just want him to leave.

you look at him with big eyes, gaze wandering down towards his lips for a quick second before looking back towards his eyes. “kento…you’re serious?” you ask and the man in front of you nods. “yes.”

so before either of you can say anything else, you walk closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing your lips to his.

without a second thought, nanami puts his hands on your waist and stumbles inside the apartment with you in his arms. your lips are dancing together, fitting like two puzzle pieces. he closes the door and holds you close to him. “i’ve missed you so much,” he mutters against your lips. “so so much.”

you smile against his lips and move your fingers through his hair, slightly pulling away to look at his face. “i missed you too, a lot,” you speak before his lips once again meet yours for a kiss. “please don’t leave again.” “i won’t, i won’t ever leave again.”

SEVENTEEN | MASTERLIST | NINETEEN

PAIRING: nanami kento x f!reader

SYNOPSIS: nanami thought he did what was best for y/n when he broke up with her, but he could not have been more wrong. he isn’t making it better when he accidentally sends her a follow request and doesn’t even realize.

WARNINGS: none i think?

TAG LIST: @yourmumsthings @minibolos @kaitfae @purplecandygerl @rijhi @hangezoeisabaddie @ilovekennyomega @peachesnoranges @satoruskitchenrag @jtoddwife @hana-patata @mysuperrainbow @changbinsuals @zenilili @creative1writings @bloombb @vynz0ne @tranzumaki @libbyistired @sad-darksoul @r0ckst4rjk @becsmarvel @magalimachete @wxnderless @letthewindlead @lyannablaiddyd @nerdiel-has-no-braincells @stardusthyuck @lvrmelanii @thvunaise @mrswhitethornbelikov @mr-underhills-things @lynxxyyy @polarbvnny @bbysatoruuu @bhootlekhakag @moonmalice @ssc7514 @ti-mame @asp7n @bananasquash @spiidergirlsworld @luvceleste @fresa-luna @grimistheangerinmystares @zanellemalkovich @fragil3ghost @scorpio-echo

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mrsaltieri-real · 3 months

Text

First Love, Familiar Love (Billy Loomis x Fem!AFAB!Reader)

Words: 2.8k

Warnings: language, smut, oral, (fem receiving) fingering, p in v, creampie, cheating, (kinda) first love, semi-public sex, light dirty talk, pre-established toxic relationship.

A/N: I’m so happy to have (finally) written my first full length Billy Loomis fic! I’ve done a lot of Ethan and a fuck ton of Mickey, how dare I have taken so long to write for the fine as fuck OG! Going to dabble in some poly!Ghostface soon which I’m very excited about but for now, sit back, relax and I hope you enjoy!

@darklylucid I have a feeling your Billy loving self will get a kick outta this for sure ;)

You’d never given much thought to relationships since your last. The thought of never having another first filled you with an undeniable sense of unease. No more first kisses, first date, first fuck, what was the point?

Why commit yourself to a long life of repetition when you could simply carry on having firsts? Especially when you couldn’t have the person you’d already had your firsts with anymore.

Billy was someone you hadn’t paid much attention to, not since the two of you had ended your very brief yet even more intense relationship a few years back.

The two of you were young, stupid and each other's firsts. It wasn’t a healthy relationship by any means, and it ended as such. Even though you knew it was definitely for the best, you knew there was a part of you that didn’t think it was over. Not yet.

He was hot, undoubtedly having grown into himself over the years when you’d stopped paying attention, but he had also grown more serious. He constantly looked like he was deep in thought, gnawing on the tip of his pen in class whilst clearly not paying attention on the few occasions you’d find your eyes drifting over to him, seeing him completely lost in his own mind.

You didn’t run in the same social circle anymore, inside of school or out. Although that being the case, your friend and colleague at the video store, Randy most certainly did.

It never made much sense as to why Randy would hang around with the likes of Billy Loomis. Other than their shared affiliation of horror movies, they seemed to merely tolerate each other, if that. You were met with the angry rambling of what Billy had done that day from Randy, listening to the boy curse about how much of an asshole he was.

How could you possibly begin to forget about Billy when he was brought up practically all of the time?

“If he’s so much of an asshole, stop hanging out with the guy.” You’d suggested after a particularly long rant from Randy about him, mindlessly drumming your fingers on the counter.

Randy scoffed, pulling the red vine he was chewing on out of his mouth before replying, “I’ve been friends with the rest of them for years, I’m not just gonna stop hanging out with them because Billy Loomis is a fucking asshole.”

You rolled your eyes, sarcastically holding up your hands in surrender. “Fine, fine, whatever. You go home and chill the hell out, I’ll close up.”

Randy hopped down from the register, patting you on the shoulder as you said goodbye.

Being here by yourself was always better anyway. You liked to clean and organize, finding order in the never ending chaos, but it never surprised you just how messy the store would get by the time closing rolled around. The popcorn machine Randy had recommended to the manager like an idiot needed a thorough deep cleaning, kernels were scattered everywhere, tapes were placed in the wrong section, some of them somehow seemed to be missing altogether.

Fucking mahem.

You heard the tingling of the bell above the door as it swung open. “Sorry, we’re closed,” you called out, not bothering to look up from your sweeping.

The door clicked closed quietly and you briefly paused before glancing up.

Billy stood leaning against the counter, his fingers drumming lightly against the withered old wood. He was quite clearly relishing in your confused expression as you looked back at him with cautious eyes.

“Hey… Billy.” You said, eyeing him briefly. “Randy’s gone home.”

“Oh, I know. I was waiting for him to leave.” Billy picked up a tape that was laying beside him, flipping it over to read the cover.

Your confusion and curiosity continued to grow, but it turned into annoyance when you realised you’d actually have to continue to talk to him.

“That’s kinda creepy.” You muttered, letting the broom rest against a glass case. “We’re closed.” You said again, pointing at the clock.

He didn’t look at it, his eyes flickering up from the case to favour resting on you instead.

“Are you fucking him?”

You looked at him, eyebrows arching a fraction. “Am I fucking who?”

“Randy.”

You couldn’t help the laugh that burst through your lips, shaking your head in disbelief as you grabbed the broom again. You’d forgotten the fucking nerve of this guy. “Go home, Billy.”

You heard the clatter of the tape hit the counter as he began to stride toward you. “So, you are?”

“Yeah, I’m not dignifying that with a response.” He stopped about a foot away, his hand resting on the freshly cleaned glass display with all the rare tapes. “Can you, like, not? I just cleaned that.” You sighed, stepping forward to slap his hand away.

He didn’t move as you did so, seeming to find your reaction more funny than anything. “You haven’t changed much.” He commented, bringing his free hand up to swipe some loose hair out of his face.

You ignored his comment, looking up at him and feeling nothing but irritation. “Billy, what do you want, seriously? Because the sooner I clean up here, the sooner I can go home.”

Billy shrugged, drumming his fingers against the glass. “I don’t know, I was walking home, saw Randy leave, noticed you were by yourself. Thought you’d appreciate the company.”

“Mmhm. Sure.” You sighed, moving to step around him and deciding to just act like he wasn’t there. That’s when it hit you, the all too familiar scent of his cologne. It smelled exactly like the one you’d gotten him for his birthday a couple of years back. The smell rekindled the brief yet fond memories you’d had with him and it made your heart skip a beat.

Billy had noticed your pause and his face turned from indifferent to slightly concerned. He said your name, tilting his head down to look at you.

You looked up at him, blinking a few times before shaking your head. “Go home, Billy.” You said again, though your voice wasn’t anywhere near as confident.

“I miss you.”

Those three words made you flinch, your grip on the handle of the broom tightening. You didn’t want him to miss you, you didn’t want him to be thinking about you. Didn’t he have a girlfriend now?

I asked him as much and he half smiled, shaking his head. “Sidney? Nah, I’m seeing her, sure, but it’s not… like that.”

“Oh, so your girlfriend isn’t putting out so you thought you’d pop along and see if I would?” Billy seemed to ignore you, his eyes trailing across your body. You felt your cheeks heat up as he did, those annoyingly magnetic brown eyes felt like they were boring straight into your damn soul.

“No, like I said I was walking home and saw you by yourself.” His smile grew a touch, watching your face for any kind of reaction.

Liar. But why did you find yourself falling for it?

“I’m not fucking Randy.” You said quietly. He finally looked into your eyes, the half smile turning into a grin. “Oh, I know. But I needed to try and start a conversation with you somehow, didn’t I?“

You caught yourself smiling as you shook your head. “Asshole.”

Billy chuckled as he brought up his hand, letting his fingers glide across your cheekbone. “Missed you.” He said again, his voice much softer this time without a hint of teasing.

Why were you falling for this crap? Was it because he was your first? First fucking everything? Probably. But you caught yourself not caring as you leaned into his warm touch, letting the familiarity wash over you entirely.

“Missed you.” You echoed softly.

His smell was intoxicating, familiar. Who cares if you’d hardly spoken to him in years? Who cares that it took you this long to get over him entirely.

His lips touched yours before you finished your train of thought. Comfortable. Familiar. You felt yourself melt into it, your fingers curling around the soft material of his plaid shirt as you pulled yourself closer to him, his thumb still gently grazing your cheek.

Fuck, he’d missed you. How your lips tasted, how your breath would quiver and shake every time he was close to you. He couldn’t remember why he was ever stupid enough to let you go entirely.

Before he and Stu put their plan into motion, he knew he had to do this, he had to be with you at least once more time. Taste you, touch you, feel you. Because once he was “serious” with Sidney, he wouldn’t be able to lead you on like that. Not you, you were always his.

His kiss turned more possessive than gentle, his hands sliding down to your waist and under your shirt, his blunt fingers digging into your soft, bare skin. He felt your breathing hitch against him as he pulled your body impossibly closer to his, letting you feel him hardening against you.

It wasn’t long before he’d picked you up and placed you on the glass, hoisting your skirt around your waist and carefully pulling your baby pink panties down your legs, letting his fingers brush your inner thigh as he did.

“Fuck, look how fucking wet you are for me.” He groaned, sliding his finger between your velvety folds to collect the moisture before he brought it to his lips. You were pathetically oversensitive, your cunt clenching around nothing the moment he touched you.

He liked that, he’d forgotten how needy you were, how much your body reacted to the slightest of advances. He couldn’t help but smile as he continued to tease, fingers grazing your sensitive skin, barely even touching you.

It dawned on you how long it had been since you’d been touched like this, and you craved more.

“Please, Billy.” You whined, beginning to grow uncomfortable with the lack of stimulation.

For once, he didn’t need much prompting.

His mouth latched onto your aching clit, sucking at it hungrily and growing at your familiar taste he’d missed so much. His hands pushed your legs further apart for better access, feeling how you throbbed against his mouth. Your hands automatically fell into his soft hair, biting your bottom lip as you tugged at it, your head falling back.

He’d been good with his mouth before, but he’d definitely gotten better. His skilled tongue flicked over your clit, one of his hands moving from your thigh to plunge two fingers inside of your cunt as he continued to lick and suck.

“Oh!” You groaned out, fingers tightening in his hair as you pulled his face impossibly closer to you. He curled up his fingers in response, pressing against the spongy tissue and making your body jerk in response. He knew your body far too well, and had clearly never forgotten how to make you respond to him.

He didn’t want you to cum, not yet. He pulled away all too soon, smiling as he saw the all too familiar mixture of turned on and pissed off gracing your features. He straightened up, his hand moving to grip the base of your hair tightly, making you look up into his brown eyes.

“Do you want it?” He asked, voice smooth and even as ever. All you could do was faintly whisper “yes” in response. That’s all he needed.

Billy didn’t drop his eyes from yours as he smoothly unbuckled his belt, pulling it off and discarding it thoughtlessly, his pants coming down shortly after, but only part way down his ass. He just didn’t want to waste any time.

One of his hands dropped to your waist, the other pumped his cock a few times before nestling the tip at the entrance of your aching cunt. You whined softly, wriggling a little only to be grounded by his large hand before he pushed himself inside of your soaked hole.

You couldn’t help the gasp as he filled you, suddenly feeling deliciously full. Familiarly full. He seemed to feel it too, a soft groan in your ear as he pulled you closer to him by your hips.

“Fuck, I’ve missed this cunt so much.” He sighed into your hair, savouring the feeling of your cunt engulfing him for the first time in years. You were growing more and more impatient, needing movement and friction and he chuckled at you desperate movements from under his grounding hands. “I forgot how impatient you are.”

“Billy, just… Fuck me for God’s sake.” You’d meant for it to come out as an order, but it came out as a plea. He chuckled again, slowly rolling his hips back just to snap the forward again sharply, the sensation making you jolt and sigh into his shoulder.

“So bossy, aren’t you, sweetheart? Some things never change, hm?”

You ignore his teasing voice, your focus entirely surrounding how good his cock made you feel so fucking effortlessly. He hardly even had to try and here you were, already a leaking mess for him.

He held you more securely, one of his hands firmly pressing against the small of your back whilst the other swiftly tucked under your knee, holding your leg more securely around his waist as he fucked you.

He knew your body better than you did, he knew what drove you wild. The kisses he scattered across your neck and down your collarbone drove you insane. The way his fingers would dig into your skin, his breathing in your ear, the filth he was whispering to you…

“Fuck, Billy please don’t stop.” You begged him, pushing yourself down against him greedily, which he thoroughly enjoyed. He continued fucking your on the glass display case as he laughed out, “Think I’m gonna? No fucking way. Been thinking about getting back into this cunt for far too long.”

His words made you moan louder, your fingers clinging to his bicep, nails digging into the toned muscle harshly. He let out something akin to a growl, his own fingers digging into your soft skin hard enough to undoubtedly leave bruises in their wake.

He fucked you in a way you feared only her was able to, slamming into your convulsing pussy vigorously, ruthlessly. Your head fell back, eyes beginning to roll as you felt yourself being dragged closer and closer to the edge. Your clit bumped against him with every thrust, the stimulation only making you feel weaker and weaker. He watched your face, the look of pure ecstasy only making him more and more desperate to cum. No way he was about to pull out.

“Billy… Close…” You managed to utter out. In the past, that was his cue to prepare to pull out. But right now? Fuck that. He held you tighter, his fingers sliding from your hip to your clit to drag circles across it, feeling your cunt tense around him as he did.

“Do it.” He said, his own voice a little breathless.

You couldn’t think, could only focus on how fucking good he was making you feel. Your body stuff ended for a second before you came on his cock, your head falling forward onto his shoulder as you heard him let out a loud groan and a second later, his hot cum filling up your still convulsing pussy. But you didn’t care. Your body remained flush against his for a couple of seconds, soaking in the feeling of his cum filling you up so deliciously.

He gradually softened, pulling himself out of your stuffed cunt and casually pulling his pants back up before grabbing his belt.

You remained sitting on the glass case, Billy’s spunk mixed with your own wetness leaking out of you and making a mess of the glass. He couldn’t help but smile, shrugging once.

“Well, shit, you’ve got more of a cleanup to do now, my bad.”

You rolled your eyes at him, waiting for your thighs to stop trembling before jumping down from the display case and grabbing your panties, about to pull them back on before they were snatched out of your hand.

“What are you-“

“I think I should keep them. As a memento, you know?” He interrupted, the stupid smile that got you back into this situation illuminating his pretty face.

“Oh, right. Forgot how much you like to steal my underwear. Weirdo.” You muttered, squirming a little at the feeling of Billy’s cum leaking out of you onto your inner thighs.

Billy watched you squirm for a moment, the smile never faltering. “Mm. You know, I wish I’d cum inside you before. I like seeing you like this.”

You scoffed at him, shaking your head. “I have to clean up.” You said pointedly.

Billy raised an eyebrow a fraction, eyes flickering down toward your stained thighs.

“You’re telling me.”

#ahhh my first billy loomis fic #he’s been on my mind none stop #so here it is!#I’m so happy to finally have him officially on the roster #pretty angel #hope you enjoy!#scream #billy loomis smut #billy loomis #billy loomis x reader

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kooktrash · 10 months

Text

his special secret II | kim taehyung

summary: getting into a relationship with your professor was never in your agenda. you knew it was wrong on some level but it was hard to think of that when he made you feel so good. now it’s been some time since you got together and the secrets are slowly unraveling but who says it’s all bad?

➢ genre/au: college art professor!tae x art student!y/n [she/her… afab] [age gap 9 years]

➢ 13.5k words

warnings: smüt. secret relationship. tae is 30, y/n is 21. oral [f]. make out. groping. tae is divorced. both got cheated on in past. jealous tae. dirty talk. makeout in art closet. y/n is confident but going thru it. professor x student. missionary. tae’s ex finds out and she’s a bitch. y/n is kinda closed off but works on opening up to him. tae thinks everything y/n does is cute. changed it so Namjoon is the ex. fluff ending

THIS IS THE FINAL PART. read part one

You felt utterly ridiculous. You know you agreed to dress as a bunny tonight but clearly you didn’t think things through.

One, it’s kind of cold. You’re at a house party but with everyone going in and out, windows open, ie, you’re cold. The costume was an extremely vague definition of a bunny costume. You were dressed in mostly black, a simple black mini skirt with faux black fur on the hem, a black top, back bunny ears and tail. You even had gloves that turned to mittens if you flipped them up and it made them look like paws. You just weren’t dressed warmly.

Two, you’ve been hit on a lot more than usual. It’s probably the fact that everyone’s drunk at this point and you’re wearing very little clothes. Usually you would play along, never giving in, but you know… playing nice. If the conversation went well then you would get more involved but tonight you couldn’t do that. No, you won’t do that. You and Taehyung… you’re dating but also not? It’s a very tricky situation yet it also made perfect sense. It’s lowkey, the lowest of lows but that didn’t mean you could flirt with people right? That’s why you’re slightly uncomfortable being hit on tonight—probably because of this stupid bunny costume.

“We look so fucking stupid,” you groaned as you chuffed back your drink fully in hopes of getting drunk enough that you won’t think about it.

“It’s all Jungkook’s fault.”

“Woah! I thought this was a classy party so let’s not point fingers now,” Jungkook said in pink bunny ears because he thought it would be so funny dressing like a bunny. In reality he had no costume and Bora was between choosing pink or white and when she decided on white Jungkook was stuck with the pink. He begged you to trade but you had an entire outfit already so you weren’t going to now.

His hands were up in surrender,

“Jungkook, it’s your fault. We were only supposed to be bunnies, you could’ve done literally anything else,” Bora said, making Jungkook roll his eyes.

“That would’ve looked so stupid Bora, are you dumb? Three bunnies at least makes it look like we planned this all ahead for pictures — which we need to take soon,” Jungkook said pointing at you two.

“Whatever you want to do, let's do it now because I’m not staying long,” you said as you typed away on your phone. You have been talking to Taehyung for a while through text and he will be coming for you soon.

“Why?” Bora asked as she twirled a piece of your hair between her fingers casually throwing in a compliment about how nice it looked.

“I’ve got work tomorrow and I have assignments to do,” you said as you locked your phone and put it down.

Jungkook’s eyes narrowed suspiciously, “It’s late as hell, you’re not gonna do assignments.”

You looked back at him with a poker face, “I have to try.”

“Y/n, you bullshitting me?” He asked with an amused expression.

“Probably.”

“Are you seeing someone?” He asked skeptically. All the signs are there, he's just trying not to jump to conclusions.

“I already told you no,” you rolled your eyes.

“Wait, why do you think Y/n is seeing someone? Are you seeing someone?” Bora asked, looking between you two confused.

“No, I’m not,” you said to her plainly.

“You’re a liar with pants on fire,” Jungkook said with a scoff. He really just wants to know, he has an idea on who with but he can’t just say it.

“I’m not wearing pants,” you said and he was so close to choking you out because why are you being so condescending?

“It’s a metaphor.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard it before but I don’t get it, I know it’s probably some history joke but it just doesn’t make sense, right?” You said with a little laugh making him nod his head in agreement.

“Wait. Stop changing the subject. Who are you seeing?” He said.

You laughed, “No one.”

“Y/n.”

“Jungkook.” You repeated in the same tone he used with you.

“Bora.”

“Bora shut up,” you and Jungkook said at the same time.

“Sorry that I don’t know what you guys are talking about,” Bora said with a scoff. As much as you loved Borea, she was the slowest of you three and never caught onto things as quickly. You’re not surprised that Jungkook suspected this since he brought it up the other day but you wanna see how long you can deny it.

“Go somewhere else then for a couple minutes,” Jungkook said pointing at a random corner of the party trying to direct her over there.

“You guys suck,” she said, flipping you off.

“Love you Bora,” you said with a wave as she walked away.

“Liar.”

“Why don’t you just admit you’re dating someone?” Jungkook asked and this time you couldn’t take the annoyance that was brewing.

“Jungkook, why are you pushing it? What does it matter?” You asked running your fingers through your hair to move it out of your face.

“Because I have my suspicions and if I’m right I want to at least make sure you’re okay,” he said and he was being honest. The last guy you dated cheated on you and the one before that was a manipulator so he feels like as a close friend of yours he has a right to make sure you’re not seeing another asshole.

“What are your suspicions?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest.

“You’re dating someone from campus.”

“Dating but in the loosest of term,” you said.

He rolled his eyes, “Alright seeing, you’re seeing someone on campus.”

“Okay sure.”

“But not a student,” he said, waiting to see if you’d react but you didn’t so much as blink.

You huffed in annoyance, “Stop speaking in incomplete sentences and just spit it out if you know.”

“Your professor.”

Your jaw dropped, “You did not just say that.”

Okay, you knew he thought you were seeing someone but there’s no way you two were obvious enough for Jungkook to notice. What a hypocrite you were as if you didn’t just tell him to spit it out.

“I did,” he said with a triumphant smirk now that he got an actual reaction out of you. You fought like little kids but it might be because you’re both just a teensy bit drunk.

“Jungkook, I'm not seeing my—him, and don’t say that again, someone might hear,” you whispered the last part.

“Alright, first of all you told me to spit it out, second don’t deny it, Y/n,” he said, making you roll your eyes.

“What are you talking about?” Deny. Deny. Deny.

“Girl, I just know. Bora’s been joking nonstop about it and I think you really did sleep with him at least. You’ve been ditching us more — which is normal… but I’m just saying, you won’t even tell us who it is. You’re being so secretive about it and it makes me think it’s him. Plus, any time I’m walking past the art room or walking you there I always see the way he looks at you. And what do you do? Well you get all blushy but nervous and guess what I found the other day? A big fat hickey on his neck the same day he got mad I was in the room,” Jungkook with w gasp at the end from how fast he rushed everything out.

“Jesus Christ, you’ve been holding all of that in?” You asked with a little laugh.

“Yes! I have, so I’m literally begging you Y/n just tell me I’m right,” Jungkook said.

“Fine! You’re right, I’m sleeping with him,” you groaned but he just cheered.

“Oh thank god,” he said, holding a hand to his chest, “You got a few screws loose or something?”

“You’re so dramatic.”

“And you’re so fucked.”

You didn’t argue on that as you released a sigh, “Yeah, I know.”

“So is he gonna come pick you up?” Jungkook asked now and you nodded your head as you checked your messages where Tae texted that he would be here in five minutes. He raised a hand to your black bunny ears and flicked the headband back, “Be safe.”

You smiled as he left your side, that was your best friend’s way of saying he would support you and your decisions. When Taehyung arrived shortly after you left the apartment door hugging your sides feeling a lot more naked now than you did inside the party.

Outside the building a guy dressed in an oversized gray hoodie, black ball cap, and black sweats stood at the door waiting and he turned to look at you, you smiled. You looked behind you as if you would see someone you knew coming down the stairs and when it was clear you practically ran to him.

Taehyung released a soft laugh as you nearly jumped on him looking exactly like you were supposed to, a cute bunny overly excited to see him. Why did you make him smile so much when it’s just the two of you?

“I’m cold,” you said with a pout as you hugged his waist, “I forgot my jacket at Jungkook’s place.”

“Mm,” he hummed, his thumb caressing your cheek softly as he couldn’t stop himself placing at least one kiss on your lips. It was short and sweet and he was quickly pulling away to take off his hat first. His hair was beginning to get longer and the fluff and waved made it look shaggier than usual. Usually you always see him looking all sexy and professional in class but whenever you get to see him looking like the epitome of boyfriend material, your heart flutters. His long hair shielded his face as he dipped his head down to pull off his big hoodie and handed it to you before slipping his hat back on.

Once it was on he took you by your hand and walked the short distance to where he had the car parked and asked, “Did you have fun?”

“It was alright but too many people,” you said, thanking him for holding the car door open for you. Before you fully got in the car you gave him a quick kiss that had him smiling.

The two of you sat in the car for a moment, the car was on and the overhead lights were on and he just grabbed your hand to press a kiss to your knuckle, “You’re coming over, right?”

“Obviously,” you smiled as you leaned over the console for another kiss. It’s like you just couldn’t keep your hands off each other, he was kissing you back just as eagerly.

The further you leaned back the more Taehyung followed after you and by accident, your bunny ears hit the rear view mirror and knocked them down your head. You whined about the sudden pain while he was hit by one of the black ears making him move back laughing. You smacked your lips in annoyance as you sat back properly and yanked them off. He bit back a smile as he reached up to turn off the light and drive off.

He would be lying if he said he was patient but in truth, he couldn’t wait to have you. You ran for his bedroom chasing each other's mouths and when you were inside, you practically pushed him onto the bed giggling like you’ve just had the best idea ever. Taehyung felt so giddy in the moment and all he could do was smile as you took off his hoodie and slipped back on your bunny ears, “Well? You don’t like my costume? I thought I looked at least a little hot.”

“So cute,” Taehyung smiled boyishly and it took everything in him not to dig his face in one of his pillows. You crossed your arms over your chest rolling your eyes playfully and pretended like you didn’t see his outstretched hand beckoning you forward. You crawled onto the bed knocking the headband off your head as he began to kiss along your arm, guiding you to lay down so he could get on top and kiss you. You gladly let him take the lead, arms wrapping around his neck to hold him while his tongue licked along your lip.

Your legs were spread around him hoisted up at the knee and he took the chance to sit up between them and just take in the sight of you. You looked so pretty and he couldn’t stop himself from pulling on your clothes to get them off. He kissed along your exposed thighs trailing up toward your stomach and purposely skipping your pelvis even if his hands grazed your hip bones.

You wore nothing under your costume and Taehyung would be lying if he said that didn’t make him just a little jealous. It wasn’t anything serious but all he could think about tonight was how many people would hit on you. It’s no secret you were very pretty and he always worried that you’ll realize he’s too old for you and he can’t have that. If it means he has to give you all the pleasure your body can take, he will.

Taehyung looked at your exposed breasts licking his lips. Once your eyes meet he couldn’t help but finally hover over you and press open mouthed kisses to your mounds, swirling his tongue around your nipples in a way that caught you by surprise making your hand circle into his hair. Taehyung tugged a stiff bud between his teeth, rolling the other between his fingertips and you had to bite down on your lip to keep an embarrassing moan from slipping out.

“Tae, please,” you whine, rubbing your thighs together in an attempt to get an ounce of friction between your legs. You would be a liar if you said you hadn’t been thinking about this all night. He hasn’t paid much attention to your gear yet but if he did he would see the clear line of arousal that coated your entrance.

Taehyung lets his lips ghost over your inner thigh, nipping gently at your soft flesh and his fingers seemed to dig into where he bit and spread your legs even further apart.

“I’m trying to appreciate what a pretty bunny I have,” he murmurs, pressing a warm kiss to the spot just below your belly button, “You look so hot, all those pictures you sent me almost made me want to keep you all to myself tonight.”

It was true too. Earlier he had to see his ex at the restaurant and he had wanted to spend the night with you but you had already made plans and he didn’t want to keep you from it. When you showed him your costume he was just alone at his house trying to talk himself out of calling you and asking you to wear it for him and him alone but he knew you should go and have fun with your friends.

In the end he couldn’t stop himself from going to pick you earlier than expected, tired of waiting.

His soft hair brushes against your inner thighs as he finally dips his head between them, finally seeing how wet you were and his fingers dug into your thighs unintentionally, “Baby, how long have you been like this?”

“All night,” you confessed, “Couldn’t stop thinking about you—ngh, fuck.”

Taehyung didn’t even let you finish when his tongue licked your wanting folds, releasing a quiet breath of relief at your taste. He does it a couple times as if testing the water and each time a line of slick connects your cunt to the tip of his tongue when he would pull away.

“Poor baby, I’ll make you feel good, okay?” he breathes.His lips close around your clit so suddenly that your body reacted drastically. Your spine curved off the bed, a hand tightening around his hair pulling on accident and he releases a low groan at the hard tug but it only made him be rougher. He pulled your legs over his shoulders so they weren’t in the way when his tongue lapped at your pool of arousal before coating your clit with it. His arms had hooked around your thighs to keep you from squirming away from him and he could tell you loved his soft manhandling. He purposely nudged his nose against your clit feeling you begin to grind your pussy against his lips seeking your own pleasure and he happily let you use him to get off. Everytime he went lower he dipped his tongue teasingly into your entrance before pulling on your left labia knowing it was more sensitive between his lips to listen to your moans grow louder.

“Taste so sweet,” he hummed in appreciation and finally decided to really put his tongue to work. Taehyung alternated between flicking his tongue over the swollen bundle of nerves and flattening his tongue into your folds and moving it side to side before swallowing it whole in his mouth. He was quite literally making out with your cunt and he held you firmly to keep you from moving away.

You were so close already and he wasn’t easing up when you pulled on his hair in warning, “Tae, I’m so close.”

“Mhm,” he nodded his head, feeling your pussy subconsciously following his head movement to keep his mouth on you, “Go ahead, let go, pretty girl.”

Without much warning a hand left your thigh so that his middle finger can toy on your entrance and before you knew it he was pushing it into your wanton beat. You released a loud whine trying to squeeze your legs around his head to push him back but he only pressed a second finger into your slick. You were so close already and he wasn’t easing up until he tasted your release on his tongue. Taehyung knew exactly where that soft spot behind your pubic bone was and curved his long fingers into it, repeatedly pressing into it every time he thrusted his fingers back in. You have to admit, he eats your pushy bettwr than any guy you’ve ever been with and it’s all because of how experienced he was. You almost felt jealous at the thought of how many times he went down on his wife like this—even if he told you it had been a long time since they were last intimate.

Taehyung was unaware of your growing thoughts, too focused on making you cum and unintentionally he snapped you out of your thoughts when he suddenly pulled his fingers out right before your orgasm hit you and replaced it with his tongue. Immediately your body seemed to react to the change and you pulled hard on his hair as you saw stars.

He kept his grip firm on your leg making sure his tongue licked up all of your release like a dog in search of water.

Even as your body tried to calm down he licked at your clit gently, soothing you down as he messily tried to sneak a hand down to his sweats to tug them down.

You both looked at each other with hungry eyes as he sat back on his haunches to yank his shirt off before moving to take his sweats and boxer briefs off. As if knowing the routine, you reached into his nightstand to find the box of condoms he bought with you and ripped into the package watching him stroke himself for some relief and let it point straight.

You sit up pulling him down by the gold necklace he usually wore and kissed him hard, tasting your own release on his tongue and it was all so messy. His chin was coated in your arousal that rubbed off on you and his stiff cock was in your hands as you worked the condom onto him. Taehyung fell forward making you fall back onto the bed as he pressed his hands into the mattress to keep from crushing you.

“Look at what you do to me, baby,” he groaned as he fucked his hard dick into your fist. You just moaned leading him toward your push and he slid in right between your folds teasingly as he ran his tip along them.

“I need you,” you whisper into his ears as he drops his head down against your chest to watch his cock catch against your opening and finally rock his hips forward.

You couldn’t stop your hips from meeting his and guide him in further with a moan, “Fuck.”

You arch up, pressing your breasts closer to his face and he wordlessly wrapped his lips around a hardened nipple in time with the way he pushed in until he was at the hilt.

“So tight,” he rasps around a nipple; slowly beginning to fuck his long dick inside you. You moan at the tug he made between his teeth when he draws his hips back before fucking into you harder this time. Taehyung was shamefully close to orgasm because of how hard you pulled on his hair and his back was curved up making him practically curl into your body to stuff his cock deeper. Your nails scratched along his back moaning his name, “Taehyung, I can’t—“

God; he turned you on so much and you were already so sensitive. Your legs hooked around his hips, the heels of your feet forcing him even deeper as your walls tightened around his length making him moan, slobbering all over your tits.

“You’re so fucking good to me, Angel,” he fucked you hard and slowly making you feel his entire length. His hair ticked your chin as he pulled his mouth away to trail kisses up your neck until he could kiss your lips. “Why are you so pretty?”

He was looking at you lovingly, driving his dick deeper and deeper and curving his hips at an angle that made him hit your sweet spot everytime.

You can only moan in response when Taehyung tried to pull out halfway but your feet wouldn’t let him and he had to resort to rocking and grinding his hips against yours, practically rutting into you.

“I don’t know,” you finally responded to his rhetorical question. You can feel the familiar tremors of another orgasm starting, making your thighs shake and he doesn’t ease up, determined to making you cum a second time before letting himself go. You dug your nails into his shoulder making him his at the pleasuring pain and your voice rose to a high pitch, “Oh my god, I—I—“

He kissed you hard as your orgasm hit you, making you tighten around his cock so hard that you triggered his own orgasm. “Oh fuck,” he groaned as he rocked his hips, cumming hard into the condom and hugging your body to his listening to your breathless pants.

After a moment to catch your breath, he pulled out carefully, dryly swallowing as he ran a soothing hand up your trembling thighs, “You did so good, you always do.”

“Mhm,” you mumbled, already turning on your side, completely tired out. Taehyung just smiled at the sight of you trying to curl yourself into the blanket and as he watched your eyes close tiredly, he cleaned off the mess from the two of you before crashing down onto the bed next to you.

“Honey, wake up.”

You released a soft moan as you rolled onto your stomach making the comforter wrap around you as you dug your face into the pillow. A low laugh filled the room as Taehyung reached a hand out to your hair. You were quite literally the definition of comfortable sleep. Your hair was a mess because of your eye mask, the sheets were tangled between your legs and you’re spread out on the bed with no care in the world.

He brushed some of the locks out of your face, “Y/n, wake up.”

You huffed as you pulled yourself up enough to reach for your phone and checked the time, a whine left your lips, “Tae, it’s like 11 in the morning, are you crazy?”

He looked at you strangely, “It’s noon, Y/n.”

“And a Sunday,” you told him as you slipped your sleeping mask back on, “You know how late it was when you picked me up from the party, how are you not tired? Plus, I have to work tonight.”

“Fine, sleep all you want then, I’m gonna do some work,” Taehyung said with a slight roll of his eyes. You’re right, it’s a Sunday and typically those are lazy days, especially for Taehyung. He likes to just hang around the house reading, playing classical or jazz, maybe enjoy a coffee outside and you know… having the person you’re seeing join you.

He gets it, he really does. You’re tired and you did have a late night. He did too but he hadn’t gotten tipsy so he’s not hungover. He woke up early and did his usual Sunday habit but once it passed noon he wanted to see if you’d wake up anytime soon. You do work tonight and he probably won’t see you tomorrow so he would like to be with you today but you’re clearly tired.

You have a very chaotic schedule like most college students trying to bounce between strange class times and stranger work schedules so honestly your weeks all look different. He’s got more consistency clearly so he has time to relax and be at home or go out for drinks without having to do things so late. It’s clearly been a little difficult making your schedules align sonce yours is unpredictable. Some days you have early morning lectures and late night shifts. Other times you have three lectures in one day but they’re hours apart and they go well past the sun sets. Some weekends you work, some you don’t. Sometimes you get off early, sometimes you get asked to cover a shift.

Don’t even get him started on your crazy schedule for your art piece for the exhibition. You’re stressed and tired and last night you had your fun.

You went out with your friends, got drunk, danced, did whatever… maybe talked to guys or played a drinking game—just had fun. Then of course the two of you had done some things in the car when you sobered up enough and the night just grew later and later.

So he let you sleep.

Things have been tense for you lately. With school, work, the spring exhibition, balancing your friends and still trying to make time to at least talk to Taehyung, it’s all been too much for you. To make matters worse, you and Jungkook aren’t speaking to each other and if you do it tends to end in an argument over the same thing each time.

“You wanted me to be honest and I was,” you told him as he walked with you to the art room, “So why can't you just trust that I know what I’m doing?”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Y/n. You’re my best friend, of course I fucking trust you and that’s not why I keep trying to talk to you about this,” Jungkook said as the two of you stopped in front of the building, “I’m worried for you, alright? How long has it been since you and Hoseok broke up?”

You didn’t say anything because you knew he wasn’t actually asking. He didn’t even give you time to speak anyway, “And when did you hook up with V?”

When Jungkook said V he was referring to Taehyung, it was an easy nickname you could use in public. Once again, Jungkook didn’t give you much time to speak, “I get it, everyone wants to have a rebound and I was all for it, I was joking right there alongside Bora about it.”

“So then what are you trying to say right now?” You asked him with your arms crossed over your chest as you leaned against the building wall with windows, you knew that if Taehyung was inside he would be watching.

Jungkook took a deep breath as he moved to stand close to you, “What I’m saying is I don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

“I won’t,” you told him but it was very clear he didn’t fully believe it.

The thing is, Jungkook really did care for you. He loved you and it wasn’t in a romantic way, he just loved you as a friend and that wasn’t something up for debate. If Bora was going through this exact situation he would be equally concerned.

It’s not that he has a disliking toward Professor Kim because if anything, it’s the complete opposite. He has a lot of respect for the guy because of his professionalism and what he’s done to help his students. Jungkook doesn’t think Taehyung has bad intentions with you but he also can’t fully support a relationship that has been built because the two of you went through very similar experiences and you’re both still coping.

And you can lie to yourself all you want about how what Namjoon didn’t bother you anymore but Jungkook knows you. He knew that when you were telling him and Bora about it you were fighting back tears. He knows that you didn’t want to confront Hoseok and that you ended it with him so that you wouldn’t have to talk about it again. That’s not coping, that’s ignoring the problem and once again, Jungkook knows you. He knows that if you don’t deal with it any time soon then you’re just going to let it bubble up until one day you just break down and he highly doubts Professor Kim would handle that well.

Taehyung is older, he’s a bit more mature and level headed which is what you need but Jungkook just doesn’t want you to think it’s more than it is so that you end up hurt again. You need to talk with Taehyung and really discuss what kind of relationship you’re both looking for and until then Jungkook can’t fully support it.

He’s not going to sit around and watch his friend get hurt again.

With a reluctant sigh he finally said, “Am I taking you to work later?”

“If you can,” you mumbled as he ruffled your hair with a final goodbye. You waited outside for a moment trying to clear your thoughts.

You’ve known Jungkook for a long time and he’s a very good friend. Honestly sometimes it feels like you don’t deserve the kid, sure he can be immature and annoying at times but at the end of the day he cares deeply for those around him and you feel lucky to be one of them. He’s put up with you for years now so you understand where he’s coming from but you also feel like you’re capable of making your own decisions.

He’s right, you don’t know how your relationship will go with Taehyung but you don’t want to think about that right now.

Right now you want to finish up your work and enjoy the short amount of time you have with Taehyung because despite being so different, it works for you two. It’s almost like you balance each other out and you haven’t felt that way with someone in a while. You know that you have an age gap and it’s not that you think you’re this mature woman who knows everything but you’re also not a kid.

You��re at an age where you’re navigating through adulthood but you also can still say that you are a bit naive on some things and it can make things confusing for you. You know Taehyung doesn’t have bad intentions with you but you also know that he was once a married man to his college sweetheart who broke his heart. A man doesn’t just bounce back from that in a year’s time no matter how much he despises the woman now.

“What are you doing?” Yuna asked so suddenly that you jumped and she smiled, “Aren’t you going in?”

“Yeah,” you said with a sigh as you followed her into the studio for your printmaking class.

You walked past Taehyung like he was nothing more than your professor and he greeted you like you were nothing but a student. It goes like this almost every day you see him on campus but then the night or weekends roll around and it’s an entirely different story. It’s a bit exhausting but you prefer it this way.

“So, uh, you know who came up to me this morning?” Yuna asked, making you shrug curiously as you went to the usual table the two of you worked at, Seungjin already there waiting.

“Namjoon, he asked if I knew where you were but I said no,” Yuna told you, “I don’t know if I was supposed to say yes or not because—well, did you guys break up?”

Seungjin looked at you now, “Wait, you two broke up? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I don’t like telling people my business,” you said in a snappy tone that Seungjin knew you weren’t serious about, “But we broke up before he left.”

Namjoon was just on a two week retreat for his major and that’s the only reason why he stopped blowing up your phone other than that day in the beginning when Taehyung scolded you for walking out. You knew he wasn’t done trying to get you back because even if the relationship was short lived and he cheated, the two of you worked well together. That’s why it bothered the shit out of you that he threw it away when the two of you could’ve been something great.

There’s no point in thinking about it now though because you’ll never take a man who cheated on you back.

“So it’s only been a few weeks?” Yuna asked, “That makes so much sense. I was wondering why you haven’t talked about him or why he seemed so mad when I told him I hadn’t seen you.”

“Are you working tonight?” Seungjin asked, trying to change the subject when he could tell you weren’t feeling it anymore.

In the beginning you barely talked to him and even Yuna, but lately he’s been hanging out with Jungkook a lot and you’ve been talking to Yuna more regularly so you’ve all just become closer friends. Seungjin knows your work schedule because most of the time if Taehyung can’t pick you up, Jungkook does and since the guy is always with Jungkook, he’s basically memorized your work schedule.

“Sadly,” you mumbled as you stared down at your work struggling to find out where to start, “I’ve got so much shit to do it’s stressing me out.”

Taehyung’s gotten a little bit better at hiding what the two of you have but it doesn’t make things easier. He still can’t fully explain your relationship because there’s a lot of factors that play a part in it.

First, your age. You’re both very clearly in different points of your lives even if your age difference isn’t too bad, it’s still not fully acceptable.

It’s not like he’s using the fact that you’re young and a bit naive in his favor because he honestly thinks you’re mature. He’s not going to say you’re mature for your age because he doesn’t like what that saying means. You’re mature because that’s just how you are and it has nothing to do with your age, just your person. He’s not sleeping with you because you’re young but behave like you’re grown.

He’s sleeping with you and talking to you every chance he has because he genuinely enjoys your time. He enjoys sleeping in bed with you and listening to your rants over the littlest things. He likes how enthusiastic you get when you talk about your favorite show or explain the meaning behind your art. He likes that you listen to his own rants about jazz music and which artist is favorite. He likes that you don’t know how to do some things but you’re always looking to learn something new.

Taehyung has gotten used to not being able to interact with you during the day. It’s not that the two of you can’t talk, it's that you shouldn’t. There’s too much tension there any time you do. You can tell by the way he looks at you with warm eyes that turn your insides giddy even if you want to say they don’t. He speaks to you gently and his tone very obviously changes when he’s talking to the others so the both of you are just paranoid to be found out.

The only time he really gets to see you is late at night and that makes him feel like an absolute garbage of a man because he’s not using you for sex. That’s not all he wants but if the only time he gets to see you is after you get off work, then it looks that way, especially considering you’re usually very eager to sleep with him that sometimes he can’t catch up.

“You don’t have class tomorrow, do you?” Taehyung asked as he twisted a lock of your hair around his index finger. You were laying on his chest as some A24 film played on the television in your bedroom. You’ve just finished having sex and now you’re just trying to enjoy some time together before morning comes and you have to go back to acting like there’s nothing between you.

“No, but I’ll be busy with the project,” you mumbled against his chest as you made yourself more comfortable against him.

“I’ve got a meeting in the morning but I’m free the majority of the day, there’s going to be the other teachers so I won’t have to stay,” Taehyung offered up, “Maybe we can do something.”

“I’d like that,” you told him as you tried paying attention to the movie but Taehyung wasn’t as interested. He wanted to talk to you because that’s what people in a relationship should do.

“I saw you and your friend talking outside today, everything okay?” Taehyung asked as you looked up at him.

“Yeah.”

He stayed quiet for a moment as he tried to decipher your expression and what you really meant. He does wish you would communicate a little more. You’re very obviously stressed about numerous things and maybe he could help with it a little but not if you won’t talk to him. He was used to his ex ignoring him in favor of keeping it bottled in and resenting him for her own lack of communication but he doesn’t want that with you. He wants to ask more but he won’t force you to tell him.

“Jungkook figured out about us,” you said before gnawing on your bottom lip in fear that he would be mad. Taehyung took a deep breath as he nodded his head, making you rush to say, “He won’t say anything, trust me.”

“I mean… if you trust him then I do too,” Taehyung said. He knows you’re close with Jungkook and that does make him nervous sometimes but he can’t come out of nowhere and tell you that so he just accepts it.

“And…” you bit your lip once more and Taehyung found himself bringing his thumb up to pull your lip out as it reddened.

“Talk to me,” he said gently. You’re opening up to him little by little but something is clearly on your mind that you’re struggling to say. Every time you get shy and nervous he doesn’t see you as the one who made the first move in his car that night, he just sees someone he cares a lot about looking worried and anxious. He just wants to be here for you.

“My ex has been asking around for me,” you told him honestly and he took a deep breath in thought.

“Really?” Taehyung looked away from you for a moment. Your ex was a cheater, he cheated on someone as beautiful and smart as you and in reality he’s also the reason why you and Taehyung got close. He knows that he’ll never go back to his cheating ex but you might feel differently. You might be more easily swayed into going back to him and it’s not like Taehyung could do anything about it. Your ex is closer to your age, he’s known you a little longer and all of your friends know of him. He’s not a secret to you and you’re not a secret to him so he would have no choice but to understand if you took him back.

“I mean, it’s just a bit tiring, I thought we were over this but it looks like he’s back to trying,” you said with a defeated sigh before cuddling back into Taehyung.

He pressed his lips to your hair, not really kissing you but just appreciating the intimacy, “Would you?”

“What?” Your brows furrowed as you looked up at him. Taehyung had never regretted his words so quickly looking at the way you pulled away from him clearly taken back. He cleared his throat, “I mean would you want to try with him again?”

“Would you?” You asked a little annoyed, “Would you want to try with your ex wife again if she asked?”

“No,” Taehyung sat up with you, “Of course not, but I would understand if you did.”

You couldn’t help but scoff, “So you would understand if I went back to my cheating ex? Good to know that you understand if someone takes back a cheater.”

“Baby that’s not what I mea—“ Taehyung tried to say but you were already moving off the bed, “Hey I just mean… you’re both still young and make mistakes—you weren’t dating long before and if there’s still lingering feelings…”

“If I still felt something for him, why would I be with you?” You asked, making him bite his lip nervously, “And you think just because I’m young it’s alright to just forgive someone who hurt me? Nice to know.”

“No, honey pl—“

“I’m gonna get in the shower,” you cut him off just as he was getting up.

He watched you leave and he sat on the edge of your bed running his hand over his face in frustration. That’s not what he meant at all. He was trying to say he would understand your feelings but that was clearly the problem. Why would he even think you would leave him the second you got the chance? You’re not his ex but he just doesn’t want to lose you when he just started feeling love again.

Wait, not love. It’s too early for that and you think so too but he means it affectionately. Why did he have to pretend like he would understand? He wouldn’t. He just doesn’t want you or your friend to think he’s the one controlling your relationship.

He has to trust you and not assume you’ll leave him.

Taehyung knows he upset you last night. That wasn’t his intention by any means and he feels like shit for making you feel any sort of way. You know your worth just how he knows his and it’s unfair that he questioned you about it. He feels so stupid and he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it all morning.

He wasn’t able to pay attention in his meetings because all he could think about was how to be better for you. He knew you would be busy for a bit today so he didn’t want to bother you early on but you agreed to spend the day together. He decided that he would get groceries before you came over later, maybe a nice home cooked meal and some wine would ease the tension.

Going grocery shopping was one of those things Taehyung despised and there was on specific reason as to why. He’s a 30 year old man going shopping alone—it was a recipe to be hit on by single women his age. He could always say he’s in a relationship but he can’t go into detail and unfortunately if there’s no wedding ring on his finger then it doesn’t matter much. If anything it’s easy to note the pale ring mark on his left finger from when he used to have a wedding ring.

He walked around the market pushing a shopping cart filled with his usual groceries along with some things he knew you would like and tried to hurry this along.

“Tae?”

His breath hitched as he came to a slow stop, but he didn’t turn around or even look at Jihyun until she stood in front of him. Why did she feel the need to talk to him after what she did and why was he seeing her now of all times?

“I thought it was you,” she said shyly, “Doing some shopping?”

“Yup,” Taehyung said as he looked over a bag of coffee. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was looking for or what the difference between dark roast or light roast but he was trying. Jihyun didn’t say anything as she looked at the bag, “Trouble deciding?”

What was she getting at? Taehyung thought. It was pretty clear he didn't want to talk to her and when he left with you the day of the lunch where they ran into her he thought it was obvious then too.

He knows he can just choose a bag of coffee and it’ll be fine but he wants to choose one you would like. You’re a coffee drinker but he’s heard you order drinks before and you like your coffee a certain way so he doesn’t want to mess this up. Jihyun bit her lip, “Light roast has more caffeine, when did you start drinking coffee?”

He set the bag back down and changed it ou yt for a dark roast one, “It’s for Y/n.”

He wasn’t going to thank her for her help because she thought it was for him but he is a little thankful that she helped him decide which you would like better. You like caffeine but you hate the taste of it. He dropped the bag down into his cart and went to look for creamer.

“So are you two really seeing each other? She seems a bit youn—“

“We are and she is but she’s mature, more mature than some other people I’ve met before,” Taehyung said trying to leave with his shopping cart, “And she understands my interests.”

He’s not going to say exactly how because it would easily give away that you’re his student but he will say that. He doesn’t feel the need to explain anything to Jihyun but he does want her to know that he’s doing just fine without her so she can stop trying to ask him about you.

“Jihyun,” Taehyung looked at her one last time and could see the look of hope in her eyes, “My name is Taehyung, not Tae.”

He turned his back to her and as if the thought of you alone brought this up, you were calling and he was smiling as he walked away and answered, “Hello?”

“I am at your place, am I too early? You’re not home, sorry I should’ve called before coming over,” you said through the phone.

“I’m just at the store but I’m heading over to pay right now,” Taehyung said, “There’s a key under the potted plant by the door, let yourself in and do you mind taking Tannie out for a walk? I haven’t had a chance.”

“Yes sir, I’d love to take him out,” you said jokingly, making him laugh softly.

He left without another word to Jihyun and she watched him walk away like she wasn't even there. She’s being selfishly unreasonable to expect anything else after what she did but she regrets it so much. She was at a point in their marriage where she thought he was losing his love for her. He was always so busy with work or something else that he wouldn’t pay attention to her. She thought he was avoiding her and in the end she fell for the attention she received from someone else and ruined her marriage with the love of her life.

Call her a cheater but don’t call her a liar, he really is or was the love of her life. They got together at such an impressionable age and it was so sweet and romantic and now she has to watch him be that way again with someone young and beautiful. It hurts.

Taehyung got back to a surprisingly quiet apartment feeling dejected, maybe you were still out with Yeontan or may—

“Boo!” You jumped up from behind his kitchen counter holding his pup up like you both surprised him and he nearly dropped the bags in surprise. A huge smile spread on his face and he couldn’t stop himself from saying, “Cute.”

“What did you get?” You asked as you let Yeontan run off in order to help him get the bags. He shrugged, “Just stuff to make later. How was your painting?”

You sighed, “Tiring. I’m almost done but I feel like something is missing.”

“Just remember not to overdo it. Sometimes less is better and if you’re happy with it now it’s better to stop, I want to see it,” Taehyung said.

He realized that he was stressed this morning for nothing. You’re not mad at him because of last night when he thought you would be. He needs to stop assuming that you’ll react the way Jihyun used to. She would snap on him for every little thing but you’re not like that and it’s refreshing and reassuring so he needs to remember you’re different.

You’re like spring. Yes, you’ve got a bit of an attitude sometimes but you’re so unlike anyone he’s ever been with. You’re fun and bright and make him smile without trying. You work hard and it shows through your work.

Taehyung cupped your face in his hands, “You’re so cute.”

“I thought I was hot,” you teased with a smile as he pressed a soft kiss against your lips.

Things are good, great even, at least that’s what you think. You feel secure with Taehyung and you haven’t felt that way in a long time. Sure, you both are still very much keeping it a secret but you’re heed to it now. There’s not much you can do about it but you’re so close to graduating and then it’s all over.

You’ve finished your painting for the spring exhibit which is just around the corner and you couldn’t be happier. With that out of the way you’ve got more free time to do other things and even though you work and have classes, it opens up a lot of time for you.

Tonight you did have to work but you spent most of your shift with Jungkook up until he was off. Like usually he was off before you and he asked if you wanted him to come back and take you home but you assured him Taehyung would.

Thankfully you didn’t have to close tonight since it was a weeknight. The bar was still open but there was another closer and you got off early so Taehyung was planning on picking you up and driving you home.

As your shift came to an end you followed your usual routine of putting your things away, collecting your tips, and clocking out. Taehyung had already texted you that he was running a couple minutes behind but you were just excited to see him.

“Y/n?”

You seemed to freeze up, you had just left through the back alley to go home and there in front of you was a familiar stranger. Namjoon stood there with his hands shoved in his pockets nervously. You looked around the lot to see if you could spot Taehyung yet but you couldn’t, “What?”

“Can we talk?” He asked as he took a step closer to you, “I just don’t get what happened between us.”

“You’re still on that? Jeez, Joon I didn’t think you would be the type to not let shit go,” you scoffed in annoyance and began walking down one end of the alley to get to the main street.

Namjoon followed after you, “What do you think would have happened? You stop talking to me out of the blue right before my trip and tell me it’s over but you can’t tell me why?”

“You know why,” you turned to him angrily, “Or what? Were you hoping I was just stupid enough to not realize you slept with someone who was supposed to be my best friend?”

Namjoon came to a stop. This was the first time you ever said this to him. You had told Taehyung how much you didn’t want to confront him about it but you had no choice. You needed him to stop asking for you and just leave you alone. You scoffed, “Surprised? Hate to break it to you but you were more obvious than you think. So are you happy? Now you know why I left you… you thought you could cheat on me and I’ll never find out, what a fucking joke.”

You turned away from him, a familiar black car parked on the street and you just wanted to get away from this conversation. With a smile on your face you headed toward the car, Namjoon following after you.

He grabbed on your arm tightly, yanking you back to him and nearly making you stumble, “Come on Y/n, I fucked up, I was planning on telling you but you’ve just been igno—“

You jumped in surprise at the loud honk of a car horn and you quickly turned to Taehyung who you knew was watching and you really didn’t want him to come out and expose himself but you know that if Namjoon kept bothering you he would. You pulled your arm free, “I’m done with you, alright? Frankly I don’t ever want to speak to you again so from now on why don’t we act like we don’t know each other?”

With that you left him standing there shocked and got in Taehyung’s car.

Despite it being dark out and Taehyung’s windows being heavily tinted, he still looked out at Namjoon who stood there frozen. You had gotten in his car but he was focused on the guy who just grabbed his girlfriend roughly. Before he could ask if everything was okay, you practically lunged toward him and he caught you over the middle console with a smile on his face.

You pressed your lips against his and he couldn’t help but kiss back confidently, a hand in your hair keeping you close. He nearly forgot about the guy standing outside until he opened his eyes and saw that he was gone now. He gently pushed you away only to watch you pout and ask for more.

He ran his thumb over your pouty lip, “You okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” You asked, trying to kiss him again but he only leaned back trying to get you to talk. You gave him a quick kiss on his lips before sitting back, “I’m fine, I swear. That was my ex but we’re all good now.”

“That was him?” He asked, seeming bothered now and he reached out for your arm, the one Namjoon grabbed roughly, “Did he hurt you or anything?”

You just smiled as you sat back up to kiss him again. He turned away from you, “Baby, let’s talk first.”

You whined, “He didn’t and I don’t want to talk. I want to kiss you because you’re so hot and I haven’t seen you all day.”

“I know but…” he bit his lip. He should trust you. You said you’re okay and you left the guy standing there to come to him so he should trust you. He does trust you. A smile came to his face as he tried to stop stressing, “I missed you too, love.”

With that he placed a kiss on the tip of your nose before kissing you again. You happily deepened the kiss between you and it was quickly getting heated. Taehyung seems to always forget where he is when it’s just you two and he nearly forgot you were in his car again until you tried going over the middle console to get on his lap.

His hands immediately went to your waist, “Wait, let’s wait till we get to your place.”

“Why? Doesn’t this remind you of our first time?” You asked, beginning to leave soft kisses along his jaw, “We can do it again.”

He bit his lip, already feeling a little turned on at the idea but he doesn’t want it to seem like a secret when you’re together. He prefers to be in bed with you when you have sex but he’ll admit, you’ve made his sex life more exciting. You’re willing to get your hands on him anywhere you are and God did that make him feel wanted. He played with the hem of your skirt with one hand as the other reached for the lever under his seat.

“One more time,” he said with a boyish smile when you squealed happily and went back to making out with him.

The end of the semester was quickly approaching. School has gone easier now since you have your major assignments done and you’ve been able to relax a little more. It’s a bit funny to be in Taehyung’s class acting like a regular student knowing he was on top of you practically every night. What is even funnier is to tease him when you shouldn’t.

Taehyung has had to stand through this entire lecture acting like you weren’t sending him the most daring texts he’s ever received. The first one he got this morning was already enough to make him bruise his lip by how hard he bit into it.

y/n: gonna be waiting for u later in this

It was a picture of you in a cute lingerie set and every time he looked at you he couldn’t help but picture it right under your clothes. You knew that’s what he thought about, that’s why you would occasionally gnaw on the end of your pen as you looked him up and down like you just needed him right then and there. It made him stumble over his words.

The other time you texted him was halfway through the lecture. He had just gotten back to his text and looked over your text, unable to help himself from looking up at you but you were too distracted by your friends to notice him. He slid over the notification and quickly responded to your other text.

y/n: if u look at me again I won’t be able to stop myself from giving u and the whole class a show

tae: be a good girl and wait till after class

You looked up at him when you received his text and he didn’t need a response to know you would show up. He had to stay late tonight and finish up some paperwork so he wouldn’t be able to see you before you went to work. He had been bummed out about it but later on, when it was well into the evening, you did as told.

The sun was beginning to set and he was alone in his art room until you came along. He smiled at the sight of you entering the room and closed his files. You smiled mischievously, “You wanted to speak to me, sir?”

God, you knew what you did to him.

He had to bite back a groan as he looked outside the windows to make sure there was no one around, “I can’t speak to you if you’re so far.”

You walked up to him until you stood directly in front of him and he looked at you with lust in his eyes, “Bad girl, just because you’re done with your painting doesn’t mean you can distract me.”

You bit your lip, “What do you mean, sir?”

He chuckled as he ran his fingers through his hair, “Sending me all those dirty messages in class?”

Your brows furrowed cutely, “Hm… but you liked them?”

Taehyung dropped his voice down to a whisper, “I did.”

“So why are we still out here?” You used the same whispering tone and just like that, you were following him into the familiar art storage closet. Before you could even surprise him with a peak at the lingerie he was pushing you against the shelves and kissing you hard. You released a surprised whimper trying to kiss him back. Your fingers quickly toyed with the buttons of his white long sleeve and Taehyung let his hands slide under your shirt trying to inch it off your body already.

His fingers worked diligently to pull it off as he felt you begin to unbutton the front of his shirt with the need to just touch already. Once it was undone your hands moved to his hair, ruffling it up when he yanked your shirt off displaying the lingerie to his hungry eyes. Your leg went up to wrap around him as the other stayed locked to keep you from falling and Taehyung fit perfectly against you as he kissed down your neck while his other hand began to play with your skirt.

“You’re so cute,” he mumbled between kisses and you sighed with a playful roll of your eyes.

“Everytime I try to look hot for you, you just call me cute.”

He laughed, close to giggling as he pulled away to look at you again, “You look hot and cute and sexy and beautiful and I just want to eat you up every time I see you, okay?”

You smiled shyly now at his words and tried to look away in embarrassment but he just kissed you harder, forgetting where you were.

The campus was mostly empty except for those who had night classes. The art department was empty minus the two of you so you weren’t worried about being caught but maybe you should have been.

When Jihyun got to campus she wasn’t sure what she even planned on doing. The last time she saw Taehyung he barely acknowledged her and he told her to stop calling him by a nickname. She knows how badly she messed up but it’s been a year. Maybe she could talk to him and they could at least be cordial? Maybe someday they’ll look back on this strange time apart and realize that they really were meant to always be together… he’ll hopefully forgive her mistakes and they can move past this.

“Taehyung?” She called out to him as she stepped into an empty art room. She’s not sure why she thought he would still be here but she just assumed. He was always working late and she didn’t know where he lived so this was her best bet. Clearly she looks stupid now as she stands alone in a huge room where Taehyung isn’t at. This was so clearly his room too, he had some of his art hanging along with other students work and for the first time ever, she actually decided to pay attention to them.

She passed by art work belonging to students she’s never met, they were all winning pieces from seminars and contests. Just before her was a beautiful oil painting with a name and year displayed proudly in the corner. It was one of Taehyung’s mentees.

‘Full Bloom’

By Y/n L/n, December 10, 2022

___ University

She seemed to freeze up at the name. It couldn’t be…

“Ow!”

A light voice whined as a loud thump followed and suddenly everything seemed to be connecting. There was laughter that followed and her attention immediately drifted to the direction of the noise. It went quiet again but it was too late, Jihyun was already walking to the closet.

At this point she didn’t care what she saw, she just needed to know if she was right or not.

Taehyung rubbed soothing circles against the back of your head as he whispered apologies for accidentally making you bump your head against a shelf. You had a cute pout on your lips at the pain and the fact that the two of you had to stop. All you’ve done is make out but your clothes was half off and you just wanted to keep going.

You barely had your lips brushing against his with the sudden yank on the door seemed to frighten you both away from each other. Taehyung’s initial instinct was to distance himself from you as soon as possible worried that it was a school head or worse another student but he thought about you instead. Your shirt was completely off while his was merely unbuttoned and knowing you were more undressed than him made him immediately hold you to his chest and turn his body toward the door to hide you better.

“Oh my god.”

You pressed your face into his front in embarrassment and a little bit of fear but Taehyung turned toward the door, brows scrunching together and voice raising, “Jihyun?”

You jumped, slightly startled and tried to pull away. Taehyung softened his hold on you just enough for you to snag your shirt off the shelf and hurry to put it on. Jihyun looked between you two, “She’s your student. You’re sleeping with your fucking student?”

Taehyung hushed her, “What are you doing here? Get out!”

You dressed yourself back up properly as Taehyung did the same and he seemed to look back at you once more before stepping out of the closet to follow his ex wife. You would be lying if you said your hands weren’t shaking and your face wasn’t heating up. This was all your fault.

You’re the one who came onto him in the beginning.

You’re the one who practically pushed him into a relationship and put his job on the line. You’re the one who did all this knowing his ex wife was still stupid enough to look for him.

God, you were the worst.

Feeling close to tears you hurriedly left the closet listening to Taehyung’s deep voice arguing with Jihyun.

“You come to my job and you—“

“I came to talk about us! I didn’t know you would be in the closet trying to fuck your student! What happened to you?” Jihyun shouted, “Is it because of me? Did I push you to this, Tae? I never meant to hurt you, I just…”

You looked around the art room for your things trying to hide your face because for some reason this suddenly felt wrong. It shouldn’t feel that way yet it does and all you wanted to do was escape. Why was she yelling at him like you’re a homewrecker?

Was it because you were his student or young? Or was it because she wanted him to forgive her cheating and realized he wouldn’t?

Taehyung turned to you as you headed straight for the door and he went right after you, “Y/n, wait,” but you were gone and practically running away. He could chase you but what would he do if someone saw him and asked what was wrong? You had to work soon and he would just have to wait even if he didn’t want to.

“You need to leave,” Taehyung said sternly as he glared at Jihyun, “I don’t know what you thought was going to happen by coming here but you need to go.”

“Taehyung, she’s your student, I just… do you realize the trouble you can get into?”

“Y/n graduates in four months and either way it’s none of your fucking business,” Taehyung said genuinely sounding angry and Jihyun can’t remember the last time he sounded this upset. Not even when he found out she was cheating, he had just hid his face in his hands like he wanted to cry and asked for a divorce. He scoffed, “Or what? Are you going to say something about it?”

“I—I don’t know,” Jihyun said truthfully, “But this isn’t you. You would never sink so low to sleep with a student and I know it’s my fault. I hurt you and I pushed you away and now you’re acting like a completely different person. You’ve never yelled at me before. Taehyung come on… we were her age when we started dating, you can’t possibly expect anything to come out of this relationship. She’s young and naive and she’s not looking fo—“

“Stop talking about Y/n like you know her,” Taehyung said through gritted teeth, “And stop acting like you have any moral fucking high ground. Did you forget what you did to me? You threw away ten years for a man you’re not even with anymore! Why would I care about what you have to say?”

Jihyun looked shocked like she was really surprised to be called out this way by him. He was packing up his things quickly as he said, “And we know it’s wrong because I’m her professor and she’s my student but… but it’s not wrong. We’re adults and we’ve connected and if you want to completely destroy another relationship of mine and put my job on the line because you’re an insecure woman who thought I would want you after what you did to me… then you’re cruel too.”

“Taehyung…”

“Do what you want Jihyun, tell other people, I don’t care anymore but don’t mention Y/n. If you want anyone to suffer then make it me, I’m the one who divorced you,” Taehyung said with a tired sigh, “But I’m done being nice. I tried to be cordial every time we saw each other after the divorce but if you want to get back at me then whatever, there’s nothing I can do.”

She knew it wasn’t technically wrong. You were an adult and so was he and the only thing that made it wrong was the fact that he was your college professor. She hated you from the second she saw the way Taehyung looked at you and all she wanted to do was ruin this. She was a selfish woman who made a mistake only to realize it was too late to regret it.

It’s the same as Namjoon, he made a mistake and when he found out there was possibly someone else, he came to regret it.

Now Namjoon’s out of the picture and Jihyun should be too but all she wants to do is get him back. She’s willing to look past this and get back with him but he doesn’t want that and she can’t force him to. Without a word, Jihyun turned on her heel and left him in his art room with no clue as to what she would do about this.

If she went right to the Dean then he would lose his job and probably never be able to work at another college again. The University wouldn’t want the news out so he wouldn’t have to worry about it getting out unless Jihyun told other people. If she admitted that it was you he’s not sure what would happen. These things were always easier for the man and he doesn’t want anyone to do anything to hurt you.

God, it was a mistake to get involved with a student… but not because of you. If you two had just developed a relationship when you weren’t a student any longer things would have been different.

He was sitting at his desk now with his head in his hands just thinking of everything that could happen. He could easily work with his parents at a museum. He could continue his art somewhere else and not teach but what about you? What if people assumed he had always favorited you? What if they thought he helped with your art? Your submission for the seminar would immediately be disqualified if they had even an ounce of suspicion that he helped—especially with his status and credentials in the art world.

Fuck, he screwed it up badly for you.

You went ghost for two days. You didn’t answer his calls or texts and you skipped out on class. It worried him and you knew it but you couldn’t face him. It’s not that you feel like you did anything wrong but you’re embarrassed. She’s his ex wife so she doesn’t mean shit to you but you’re sure you confirmed her original suspicions and that pissed you off. You’re just some young and naive slut who he’s keeping a secret out of shame. It’s not true but you just know that’s what she’s thinking and you couldn’t stick around to hear it that night. You still want to be with Taehyung but You’re sportier that she knocked some sense into him or something. Maybe he’s blowing up your phone because he’s trying to end things. You also know you should go back to class but if he just completely pretends like you don’t exist or worse you find out that everyone knows, you’re scared at what would happen.

“You haven’t done anything wrong,” Bora said, touching your leg to comfort you. After weeks, maybe even months of keeping her in the dark, you finally had to speak up. She was your best friend too and you needed them both to make you feel better. Jungkook sat on your couch with an arm around your shoulders, “Seriously Y/n, you haven’t and I honestly don’t think Taehyung feels any different. You need to talk to him.”

Your friends were right and yet you couldn’t say yes.

They spent the day with you even if Jungkook had to go to work. Technically you were supposed to work but he was going to cover your shift because you clearly weren’t feeling well.

Hours passed with them at your side watching movies and when you were suddenly feeling better there was a loud knock on your door. Jungkook went to answer it before you could move and you couldn’t make out anything past muffled noises. Shortly after, a familiar face appeared at your door and Jungkook was letting Taenyung in without asking you first.

He didn’t say anything as he looked at you and you tried to hide behind Bora but she was standing up nervously, “Mr. Kim.”

Taehyung smiled stiffly and he turned to Jungkook who seemed to understand. “Come on Bora, I gotta go get ready for work anyway.”

“Y/n,” Taehyung finally said when it was just you two, “Baby, I’m sorry, I had no idea she would just show up like that and I really don’t want you to think I’m still involved with her. I’m not lying when I say you’re the only one I care about a—“

“It was so embarrassing,” you finally broke down now that your comfort person was here. Taehyung immediately went to your side, a pout on his face as he wrapped you in his arms. You were embarrassed to be caught in such a manner, like a dirty secret.

Hell, you weren’t even fully dressed and what if it had been anyone but Jihyun? A teacher? Another one of your classmates?

“I’m sorry,” Taehyung whispered into your ear and he really was. When you finally confronted Namjoon, he let it go. He hasn’t bothered you since and yet Jihyun just kept pushing and pushing. How could your relationship with Namjoon end more maturely than his with Jihyun? He never meant for you to get hurt.

“Does anyone know?” You asked with teary eyes and he wiped them away feeling his heart drop to his stomach painfully. He shook his head no, “No, I mean I don’t think so but please baby I won’t let her do anything to hurt you.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” you cried harder, “I just… well we both knew what we were getting ourselves into but I’ve never felt like such a…slut.”

“Don’t say that,” Taehyung said seriously, “Y/n, I love you.”

You looked at him with wide surprised eyes, “What?”

He didn’t back down from your gaze and with a softened voice he said, “I love you, and I’m not going to let anything happen to you. This isn’t just some secret that I’m ashamed to admit. I want to be open about our relationship, so please don’t think you mean less to me because of what happened. I wasn’t embarrassed to have the truth come out to Jihyun, I was mad that she was there when she shouldn’t have been.”

“Yeah but, what if she says something?” You asked, still unable to comprehend that he’s said he loves you twice already.

“Then I’ll quit, I’ll work somewhere else and trust me if the school finds out they’re not going to tell anyone. They’ll want it to remain quiet so the school doesn’t get hate from it. I'm not going to let it hurt you and I don’t want it to drive you away from me. You’ve been ignoring me and that hurt so much,” Taehyung said with a pout as he wiped another tear from you. You felt ridiculous for being so emotional when usually you’re the complete opposite.

Usually Taehyung had to ask you over and over again how you feel to get you to talk about whatever is on my mind yet right now you can’t seem to stop crying. You sniffled back some tears, “But we can’t be open about it. I still have a couple months before I graduate.”

“I know,” Taehyung said, “But I’ve sent in my resignation le—“

“What!?” You sat up and pushed away from him, “You said everything would be fine.”

“It will be, Y/n. I promise. I’ve gotten a lot of job offers from other people in the industry and they would easily take me and pay more. I was originally going to quit after the divorce but I didn’t. The only reason why I stayed the extra year is because I had some really good artist’s in their final year who I wanted to support,” Taehyung said and you knew one of them was you. The others probably included Seungjin and other classmates that Taehyung mentored but it was very clear right now he was talking about you.

“Anyway, I planned on leaving all along and even if Jihyun never says anything about us, I would still leave after you graduate,” Taehyung pet your hair soothingly, “And like I said I’m not going to let her ruin you if she’s tries to so please don’t cry anymore and please baby, please don’t ignore me or push me away.”

Nothing he said was a lie. The only reason why he never brought it up to you was because he didn’t need to. He knew you would be graduating and if your relationship lasted then he would tell you about his resignation once you were done with school. He just didn’t think he would have to tell you like this and make you think you’re the reason his career is about to change.

He waited an entire year to decide he wanted to quit teaching but it’s what he wanted to do all along. He enjoys it but he wants to start fresh… with you. He doesn’t want to have to listen to the opinion of others when the two of you become public.

“You love me?” You asked with the cutest set of puppy dog eyes he’s ever seen that it made his heart feel like it would burst. He nodded his head to answer your question and you sniffled, “I love you too.”

A small laugh in relief left his lips as he hugged you close making you whine about wetting his shirt with your stupid crying. You were so perfect to him. You were confident and forward yet deep down you were a crybaby and needy and loveable and he really did love you. He hugged you tighter in his arms.

“I know you hate it when I call you cute but you’re so fucking cute,” Taehyung said as he kissed your hair, “And I love you so much and I would never want to change the way we got together or make you feel like you’re not important to me because you are.”

He looked down at you with loving eyes, “And I don’t want to keep this a secret anymore.”

In the end Jihyun never told anyone. She figured she owed it to Taehyung after being so shitty the last few years. It had hurt her to watch him be happy with someone else but from the moment she saw you two at the restaurant she knew you made him happy. She couldn’t take that away from him after what she had done.

::.

ok yayyyy finallt part 2 is done. this is in fact the final part so pls understand. feel free to send in asks about them or drabbles

permanent taglist: @notmyfaultbutours @rerefundslocals @fandems @sugaluvmyg @guvgguk @kimyishin @libra04 @kooromiwrld @classycreationcupcake-blog g @alwaysdreamingnotsleeping @cherrymonlightt @nikkiordonez12 @asking4-sanity @thvlover @saweetspoiled @uwu2rawr @shaybts-blog @babycandy111 @tearyjjeon @joons-uparupa @jeonninja @yellowcupid08 @02010802 @knudsenheggedel @skzthinker @unnatae @aurorthi @beautywine @95ene @taekookstata @lilliankoo @shescharlie @annenakamura @lesoleile @burnahtsw @babybella337 @kooloveys s @ku-ku @chaelvrx @minnie-mouser22 @Imeneghd @whoa-jo @evajeonsworld @marvelbun @sunnikthv @acielelyseen @giselleswifeee @ilikeitlikethatt @bangmechanpls @lvr2seok @badbyeyoongi @jaerisdiction @xyahrinx @angeleen777 @jooniesxbby @brillantdarling

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@joyjunk @ohsweetmimosa @llallaaa @jjkliver7 @arosesstorm @taebaelove @youdonwantoknow @sl1pth0t @boxxkoo @jooniesxbby @saikikjin @screamertannie @starlostluvv @jksthiccthighs @kingarthurscat @roundbuttonsuga @kochycooky @heyhowyoudoin3 @jeonjk25 @Watermelonjuice15 @artmsmaid @shimisushi [the rest will be tagged in reblog ]

#kim taehyung #taehyung smut #bts taehyung #taehyung au #taehyung drabble #taehyung #kim taehyung smut #kim taehyung bts #Taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #taehyung fic #taehyung x y/n #taehyung x reader #taehyung fanfic #his special secret

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hrryshoney · 10 months

Text

soon you will be mine, but i want you now

matty healy x reader

A/N: the picture? i’m just a sleaze, sorry! yeah this is part 2 to my previous matty fic! again, i apologize for any switching perspectives. lmk if i’m bad at writing smut.. honest reviews pls!

warnings: smut, literally sex lmao. idiots in love, are they gonna fuck while he’s sick? …sorry, but it wasn’t that bad in the first place! the drama queen likes to play it up. very wordy. bad writing..?😕

You and Matty were friends. Best friends. Well, maybe more than that now. Because you didn’t know any friends who did this with each other, best or not.

Matty’s lips were on yours. Moving firmly against one another. You were in a daze, it seems, because you don’t know how or when you began straddling his lap. Or maybe he put you there? Either way.

He was kissing you with such fervor that it made your whole body hot. He bit down on your lip, and you let out a truly pathetic gasp. This gave him an opening, and he slipped his tongue in your mouth. You could feel his smile against your lips.

Matty Healy was going to drive you insane, if he hadn’t already.

You pulled back and put your hands on his chest, breathing heavily. “Need air, Matty. Jesus, you got the lungs of a swimmer or some shit?” You move your neck back farther.

His lips chase yours. He pants, “Just got a lot of practice.” He attaches his lips to your neck. “Wanna practice on you, now.” You feel his teeth sink in, a little above your collarbone. His mouth sucks on the spot.

“You’re- you’re gonna leave a mark.” Your sentence is finished off with a half whimper/half pant. He’s really affecting you. Who knew suppressing emotions for your best friend would lead to tension filled foreplay?

“Mhm, good. Show ‘em all.” He licks over the spot he just sucked. “Can’t wait to see the mark, been wanting you like this for too long.” This is a Matty you’ve never seen before. Eyes dark, ravenous. His hair is messy atop his head, his chest is rising and falling rapidly. You think you want to become accustomed to this Matty.

“You have?” It’s a genuine question, although a stupid one. He just gave you a hickey and you’re asking if he wants you? Maybe it’s an ego thing, but you just want confirmation. You’ve been pining after him for far too long, and now that you have him.. it’s safe to say you want to keep him.

“You’re an oblivious little thing. I’ve always fancied you. Thought for sure ya noticed. Doesn’t matter, though. Have ya now.” Matty continues his assault on your neck, moving lower and lower now. The neck of his your oversized tee is moving lower with each kiss. “Can I take this off you, darling?” His eyes search yours for consent.

You barely get to finish your nod as he yanks the shirt over your head. You had forgone a bra today. Thinking you were only taking care of Matty, and that the tee covered your nipples, you didn’t see the point. Now though, on Matty’s lap, you feel all too exposed.

His eyes are glued to your chest, hands resting on your waist and squeezing the skin every so often. That look in his eyes is going to kill you. But what really does it is the small fuck me that’s whispered under his breath. Your hips give an involuntary roll against his own.

Your whimper makes him look up, you roll your hips again. Matty’s groan sounds too good coming out of his mouth. He tightens his hold on your hips. “Stop moving, yeah? Gonna be a good girl tonight and listen to me?”

Now that, you were not expecting. The moan that rips from your chest is something new. That was uncharted territory, something your old flings had never dabbled into. You didn’t think you were getting dirty talk with Matty. Oh, you were terribly wrong.

“Matty, shit. Please, yes, I’m good.” You didn’t know you had a big submissive side inside of you, but Matty is definitely bringing it out. He rolls his hips up into yours, but his hands restrain you from doing the same.

“Awe, you’re adorable, aren’t you? Just wanna be my good girl? That’s alright, love. You will be.” The snicker that comes along with his smirk is another thing you’re not accustomed to. The condescending tone. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t like it.

He picks you up from his lap and lays you back on the bed, into his previous spot. Matty had forgone a shirt, something about how hot he was with the ‘fever’. He was only in some sweats, and he looked good. You were aware of your best friends body, but seeing it this way was something else. His muscles and tattoos made your mouth water.

“Eyes are up here, babe.” He laughs at your awed state. His fingers are gilding up and down your leg, toying with the hem of your shorts. “I can take these off?” He asks for confirmation again, ever the gentleman. You nod.

“No, words. Use your words, please.” He smiles, he really is sick, you think.

“Yes, Matty, please.” Your hips buck up as he fiddles with the hem. Goosebumps have risen on your thigh from his touch.

“Good manners too, aren’t you sweet?” He grabs the waistband of your shorts and begins to pull them down. Slowly. Hauntingly slow. He knows what he’s doing, and you hate it.

You’re left in just your light blue underwear, you think it’s only fair if he strips too. “Can you take your pants off, please? Then we’ll be even.”

He simply does as he’s told, and tugs the gray sweatpants down his leg. He kicks them off to somewhere in the room, but your eyes are glued to his briefs.

Without giving you too much time to ogle, his mouth is glued to your chest. Kissing and touching your breasts. “Feel what you do to me?”

He pushed his bulge into your leg as he continues kissing your chest. “Got me so fuckin’ hard from nothing, like a bloody teenager. You always make me this hard.” He groans into your breast.

“Oh, Matty.” Your response is weak, but it’s the only coherent thing that will come out of your mouth.

“Yeah, love when you say my name. Would fuck my fist and think about ya. Moaning, making those pretty noises for me.” You gasp at that, you didn’t think he thought about you in that way.

You knew you’d done it before, but you would never tell. Those nights where you were aching, and desperately needed relief. Where you would slide your hand between your thighs and pretend it was Matty’s. You never knew the feeling was reciprocated.

“Taste so fucking good. Need a real taste. Can I, love? Can I eat ya?” You knew what he was asking, but you were apprehensive. Every time a guy went down on you, you never came. It was nothing personal, you guessed it just wasn’t your cup of tea.

“Yeah, you- you can, Matty. But if I don’t come, don’t feel some way. Never come when guys eat me out.” You shrugged, though you feel your body ignite from the way he looked at you.

“Shame. Guess they weren’t doin’ it right, darling.” He moves down your body and plants kisses on your stomach as he does so. He keeps going when he reaches the waistband of your panties. He kisses you over them.

Matty sits back on his knees and sees the prominent wet spot on your underwear. He puts his thumb atop it and pushes. You gasp, “Fuck, Matty!” clearly not ready for the stimulation.

“All that for me?” And though it’s a rhetorical question, you still nod. “So nice and wet, perfect for me.” He gives you mercy and slides your panties down your legs.

He’s at the edge of the bed now, just laying and staring at your pussy. You almost close your legs out of humiliation, but his strong hands rest on your thighs to pry them open. “Don’t run from me, darling. It’s really a sin to hide this pretty cunt. Really a shame no one’s taken care of her properly.” He runs his finger up your slit, collecting your wetness and pressing on your clit.

Your face heats from his vulgar words, and you let out a whine. Your hands cover your face. “Matty… please.”

“Aw, c’mon. Don’t be shy, ‘m just being honest.” His face gets close to your pussy and you feel his breath against it. The whine you let out is music to his ears. Matty licks a thick stripe, and you let out a guttural moan.

His tongue is all over in the best way possible. He’s sucking on your clit and it’s making you see stars. Your hands fly to his hair and you tug. “Mm, sorry. Don’t wanna hurt ya, just feels good.” You rub his head after your apology.

He speaks, and the vibrations against your cunt are sending you over the edge. “Tug all you want, don’t mind.” You let out a loud moan, and he laughs.

He moves his hand from holding your thigh and sticks one finger in your hole, continuing to suck your clit. Your hips buck from the internal stimulation. His finger moving in and out of you, and his lips around your clit is.. very pleasant, to say the least. Even more so when he adds a second finger.

You let out a sigh of pleasure. Matty curls his fingers. His are so big, yours just don’t compare. 2 of his feels like 3 of yours. He detached his lips from your clit and lays his tongue flat on it. You feel a jolt through your body, the pressure is building.

“Oh! Hm, Matty, I’m-‘m gonna…” You pant out and close your eyes tight, preparing for your orgasm. But it doesn’t come. You don’t cum. That’s because Matty has ceased all movements, moved away from your pussy entirely and is staring at you with a smile on his face.

“Matty! What the fuck, I was just about to cum. Are you serious?” You’re looking at him and pouting, a crease in your brow. He thinks you look positively adorable.

“Terribly sorry, darling.” He pouts back in faux sympathy. “But if you’re gonna cum, it’ll be ‘round my cock, yeah?” He moves to slide his briefs down his legs.

I feel myself nodding absentmindedly. Agreeing, or ready to agree with him. Ready to be compliant for him. And when he takes off his briefs… it really is a sight to see.

Matty’s cock is pretty. Of course it is, just like everything else about Matty. And right now, the tip is red and leaking pre-cum. He’s hard, long and thick. You can see veins popping out, it looks like it hurts.

Your mouth moves before you have chance to think about what your saying, “Want me to suck you off?” and your eyes widen as the words spill out.

“Jesus, what am I gonna do with you?” He asks, and smiles as he looks down at you. Kneeling on the bed, now. Slotted between your thighs. Almost where you need him. “Not today, darling. But thank you for the offer, ‘m sure your mouth feels amazing.”

‘Not today’, the phrase gives you even more hope that this is not a one off thing. That you and your best friend will progress together, and this isn’t just a hookup that will be brushed under the rug.

“I’m gonna go slow, okay? Tell me what you like and what you don’t.” He grabs onto your hands, and it all feels so tender. You’re glad Matty’s in your life.

When he thrusts in, you can’t hold the moan. He can’t hold his either. Matty’s noises are heaven sent. He sounds so good. Gravelly and whiny, but domineering. And with your whining in the back, it all sounds like the perfect soundtrack.

“You- you’re so big, Matty. Don’t know how it fits.” If you were in your right mindset, you would never inflate his ego like this. You know it’s big enough as it is. Oh, well. At least he’s endowed enough to back it up.

His smirk says enough. “Yeah? Filling you up good? This tight cunt? So good f’me. Perfect, like you were made for me.” He continues to pull in and out of you at an unrelenting pattern.

“Oh, God! Mhm, right there, please.” You can’t do much of anything else than cry out for him.

“Not God, just me.” He grins as he keeps thrusting into you, the sound of skin slapping fills the room. “You feel so fucking good, Y/N.” His mouth is right by your ear, you feel feral.

You clench around him. Hearing him pant your name is just the cherry on top. You feel the pressure building again. “Matty, so so close. Please.” Your whimpers and pleas don’t fall on deaf ears. Especially not when Matty brings his thumb around to press on your clit.

“Oh, Matty! Yes, yes please!”

“That’s right. My fucking girl. C’mon, be good for me. Cum. Cum all over my cock, angel. You can do it.”

All you can do is yell Matty’s name. You finally feel that release. Your vision goes white and Matty brings his hand to rest loosely on your neck. He’s still pounding into you, and you’re getting very overstimulated very fast.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking hot. So good for me, whole time. My good little girl, I’m close, shit.” Matty is groaning and panting in your ear, his pace never wavering. You think he has too much stamina. Then, you think that’s a good thing, a really good thing.

“Matty, please. Cum for me, please.” And you don’t care how pathetic you sound, begging for him to finish. You need him that bad.

“Where- where do ya want it?”

You don’t even have to think, “In-inside me, on the pill. Please, cum inside me?”

And Matty’s guttural groan is worth it. “Fuck, gonna be the death of me. Cum inside ya, fill you up real nice. That’s what you want, right babe?”

You nod your head so much that it could fall off your shoulders, and Matty’s thrusts are slowing down. You feel his dick twitch inside of you. You feel his cum dripping down your thighs. Matty pulls out, and you know you’re gonna be sore tomorrow morning.

He’s just staring between your legs, and then, “So pretty, should keep you like this all the time.” he takes two fingers and shoves them inside of you, pushing his cum back in.

Your back arches off the bed, “Fuck me, Matty.”

He collapses into the spot next to me, and pulls me into his chest. “Already did that one, love.” We both let out a giggle.

You two lay there in comfortable silence for a couple moments. His arm is around your body, fingers drawing circles on your bicep. Your hand falls to his chest, tracing his tattoos.

You figure you have to break the silence first. “So… can I be incredibly cliche with the ‘what are we?’ line, or do I need new material?”

Matty let’s out a loud laugh at that. He plants a kiss to the top of your forehead. “Y/N, honestly I’ve liked you for the better half of 8 years. If you want to be my girlfriend, then I’d be happy to be your boyfriend.” The words boyfriend and girlfriend make you giddy. You feel like a schoolgirl on her first date.

“‘Course I’d be your girlfriend, Matty. Don’t know if you could tell, but I’ve liked you too. Obviously.” You giggle a little. There’s a light and airy feeling in your chest. This is good.

“Mhm, take you out on a proper date after this. Dinner, movie, wherever you want to go. Whatever you want to do. Suppose I did it out of order. Fucked ya first, then wooing you on a date, yeah?” Matty chuckles a little, rubbing your arm. You laugh, too.

“You woo me everyday, Matty.”

“Careful, flattery gets you everywhere with me. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

You smile. Matty smiles. You’re both glowing with happiness. This time, you lean in.

#divider cred: @cafekitsune #matty healy smut #matty healy x y/n #matty healy fluff #matty healy x reader #matty healy blurb #matty healy fic #matty healy x you #matty healy oneshot #the 1975 smut

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xreaderbooks · 11 months

Text

Unspoken

Pair: Sirius Black x Reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: mentions cheating (?), jealousy, language

Summary: You and Sirius were friends, the best of friends, lovers? There's a thin line between love and being in love with your best friend, it seems like everyone knew, but the two of you.

Available on Wattpad and AO3

Sirius Black Masterlist - Navigation

“Alright, Y/n?”

James’ familiar accent practically shouted as he slid into the seat next to you, tugging the ends of your loose hair.

“Merlin, James!” You clutched your chest, startled by the sudden interruption. You were enraptured in your History of Magic assignment and the library had been so quiet before. “A little warning next time, maybe.”

“I am the warning,” He smiled slyly, “What’s wrong with you? You’ve been avoiding Pads like the plague.”

“Nothing is wrong with me, it’s only been four days for god’s sake,” You rolled your eyes.

His eyes widened, “I didn’t know it’d been that long or I’d have checked in sooner, Four days is a lifetime for the two of you.”

“You both are so dramatic.”

“Says you who won’t even tell your best friend why you’re not talking to your lover boy.”

You glare at the boy who didn’t know when to keep his mouth shut, “Now, you know damn well you’re not my best friend and for the millionth time me and Sirius are just friends.”

You slam the textbook you were reading closed and packed it in your bag, moving out of your chair and walking away. James followed closely behind.

“I’ll have you know we’ve been friends for longer than the lot of them,” He referred to the rest of the Marauders and the girls. “You should be able to trust me.”

“You asked me for homework twice before I’ve had a conversation with Sirius or the others, that does not mean we’ve been friends for longer, that just means you're a slick prick.”

“I’m gonna pretend your words don’t sting, L/n, but I’m begging you-” He blocked the door to exit the Library. “Tell me why you aren’t speaking to the poor lad.”

You crossed your arms, frustrated, “The moment I tell you, you’re gonna be off tattling to Sirius.”

“I promise I won’t,” He spoke in a serious tone and you looked at him with a stern face. “Cross my heart.”

You had no reason to be ignoring Sirius the way that you had been, not really. After all, you were just friends- friends don’t get mad when friends kiss other people at a party. It was petty of you to have kept it going for this long but you were hurt.

Also, between you and Sirius, you were always a little more than just friends.

Nothing about the two of you was platonic and yet no physical act indicated that you were in a romantic relationship. It was known, it went unsaid, he was yours and you were his.

For years, it was an ongoing dance of lingering stares and near touches. As if the act of an embrace or a simple handshake will combust the carefully constructed invisible wall that you both had built on your friendship. It went unsaid that though you weren’t together- you are. Despite both of you being insistent on the status of your relationship as being just friends.

“He was with someone else at the party,” You confessed.

James scoffed disbelieving, “No he wasn’t.”

Your eyes narrowed, he definitely was- you saw it with your own two eyes, granted you were slightly inebriated but you couldn’t have conjured the image in your mind. If he didn’t trust your word it was fine by you, “Ask Remus if you don’t believe me then.”

“That’s why he hasn’t been in an uproar about this,” He placed his hands on his hips. “Right well, in that case, Pads was very likely drunk.”

“And this is why I didn’t want to talk to you,” You shove past him finally. “You’re always going to defend him, no matter what Sirius can do no wrong.”

“Forgive me if I don’t think Sirius would do such a thing, he’s absolutely mad for you Y/n, you have to know that.”

You paused in the middle of the hall, you bit your lip in thought and shook your head. “He’s not mine, James, it doesn’t matter what he does.”

~~~

When the Gryffindors threw a party celebrating the final win of the Quidditch season, all houses were invited, and you lost him in the crowd. Some part of you knew.

You felt the betrayal deep in your gut, though he would never do anything to hurt you willingly, a part of you felt like it was inevitable. That was the reason you held out for so long. Life was unpredictable and everything could fall apart in a second.

A girl hung around his neck, he looked stunned but smiled droopily barely opening his eyes before leaning into her again.

All the protection you formed around you had crumbled, your heart was shredded with sharp razors and the room was caving in. You shoved through the barricade of people cheering and dancing. You needed air, now.

You clutched your chest as you felt a pain come from your sternum, you couldn’t remember the last time you cried, this would be breaking the uncounted streak. You stumbled, dropping the firewhiskey-filled cup on a table nearby, and ran to a bucket of trash, throwing up the contents of an empty stomach.

Sirius warned you to eat and drink water ahead of time, the last thing you ate was breakfast 12 hours ago, the memory of Sirius made it so much easier for your upset stomach to clear out.

Gentle hands pulled the few strands of hair that fell out of our weak grasp, from your peripheral you saw Remus’ brown sweater sleeve. You heaved into the trash bucket, “Rem.”

“You’re alright, Y/n/n,” He rubbed smooth circles on your back.

“I think I’m gonna die,” Your eyes tear up from the sting in your throat and because of what you just witnessed.

Remus tsked, softly pulling you up from your kneeling position, “Up you go, love.”

You whimpered slightly, you were in a corner hovered over but more than a few people definitely see you spill your guts into the can you held close, this was going to be embarrassing tomorrow. Hopefully, no one was sober enough to remember seeing you this way.

“I’ll take you to my dorm to rest a little before I find Sirius and he can walk you to yours-”

You shook your head in protest, “No, I can’t. Get Lily.” Sirius could potentially bring his conquest up to the room and you didn’t want to see more than you already have.

He tilted his head in confusion, you weren’t up to explaining it to him right now so you insisted you both find Lily together.

“Weren’t you together?” He asked, his hand was on the small of your back, guiding you around like a lost child looking for their mother.

“He went to get me a drink, I was with Marlene, next thing I knew I was throwing up.”

“So why can’t we just find Sirius?”

“Later, Remus, I can barely fucking stand right now.” You held onto his shoulder as he walked you a couple of steps up the stairs to the boy's dorm so you both can get a better view of where Lily was.

You caught sight of her fiery red hair, giggling at whatever James spoke into her ear.

“Wait, here-” Remus steadied you on the wall as he went to pull Lily away from his flirty friend.

What was worse was that you saw Sirius searching the crowd, presumably for you, thankfully you were hidden from view. He found James who had pouted the moment Lily walked away with Remus, he stressfully ran a hand through his hair.

Your vision was blurry, the room felt like it was spinning and you weren’t sure if leaning against the wall was helping your nausea.

Lily and Remus had managed to get you to your dorm as efficiently as they could that night. The next morning you spent the day in your dorm, Saturday was spent avoiding Sirius, Sunday you went to Hogsmeade and Monday was the only day where you had no classes with him but during meal times you had barely said a handful of words to him.

~~~

Transfiguration class was busy and stressful with what Professor McGonagall had assigned. A full description of what was learned in class today, caused by the disruption of the lovely boys you called friends. James and Sirius wouldn’t stop interrupting class with their jokes which made everyone laugh but eventually, Mcgonagoll got fed up giving them warnings.

When she was over with her lecture, she told the class to have the essay ready by the end of class, there were only 30 mintues left.

You felt a poke on your side, you ignored it and continued with your paper. Another sharp poke stabbed harshly into your ribs, you slammed the quill onto your desk and turned to face your assailant.

The silver eyed Gryffindor was smirking into his hand that held his chin while he held onto the tip of the wand, handle side pointed at you.

“What?” You whisper shouted at him.

“Was hoping you could help me with my work?” He whispered softly to you with a charming smile that normally made you melt eased onto his features. You held strong, “No.”

His brows furrowed and a faux frown replaced it, “But darling-”

“No, Sirius.” You scribbled angrily on your paper. You were almost done with the essay, you just need a couple more sentences for it to be acceptable for Mcgonagoll. “You got yourself and everybody else into this mess, you get yourself out of it.”

He groaned a little too loudly earning him a look from the Professor, he sat up straighter and leaned closer to you, you both shared a desk and he already sat so close that your elbows would accidentally brush when writing notes or shifting in your seat. You could feel his heartbeat as his chest was touching your arm, his head was tilted to see your face but it was hidden by your hair.

You pretended you couldn’t feel him or the heat that was rising in your cheeks, with a finger he lifted the curtain of hair blocking your face and tucked it behind your ear.

“Please?”

You shot out of your seat making the chair scrape against the floor as you got out of it. You walked up to Mcgonagoll’s desk, handing her the paper and asking her if you could be excused.

~~~

When each of the rest of your classes ended that day Sirius was waiting for you at the door, he took the books out of your arms and walked you to the next one before going to his. During meal times he had his arm around your shoulder like it was something natural for him. It wasn’t even the casual loose arm around the shoulder, it was him pulling you so close that your head was forced to lean against his neck.

Not that you hated it, in fact, your traitorous heart lept in joy at every inch of attention he was giving you. Every now and again, your brain would pop in and remind you of the incident at the party that was the only thing you seemed to remember and your body would tense. The moment he felt you tense up he let you go, which ruined those perfect moments.

Each day something more was added. It made your body tingle in excitement at how it remembered Sirius’ burning touch. His arm, his leg, his fingers- his lips. Nowhere near your lips and it made you yearn for the feel of them.

At breakfast, he kissed your temple in greeting.

In class, if you had one together (he would always sit with you) his arm would be around your chair, and not only would he play with your hair but when he would stop, he pulled you into his side, tracing his fingers along your arm.

In the common room, if you were sitting next to each other on the couch, he pulled your legs onto his lap and traced the same patterns that he would in class.

After the Quidditch game this weekend against Ravenclaw, Gryffindor won and Sirius pulled you in a sweaty hug, twirling you in his arms. Once he set you down, the way he grabbed your cheeks and pulled you in you thought he was going to kiss you- instead, he kissed both of your cheeks.

The party that weekend wasn’t as big, most everyone from the last one still recovering but Sirius stayed by your side the whole night. It was half the crowd from last time but Sirius made it his sole mission to scare off any guys who weren’t in your inner circle.

You had to admit that this party made you think of the last one and it wouldn’t budge from your thoughts until you had enough liquor in you that you didn’t care.

Sirius held you close by your waist as you danced to Killer Queen by Queen, your back was against his chest, and in your tipsy state your head laid back against his heart as you swayed in an upbeat motion to the tune of the song. You and Sirius were singing along to the lyrics annoyingly to your friends.

By the end of the night, you didn’t know how much you could take of this before you exploded. You went back and forth between loving the attention and running from it, you weren't sure who was playing with your feelings more, him or you.

~~~

This went on for a week, by the evening of the next Monday, you needed to put a stop to this before your feelings overwhelm you. During this time, you've debated on what caused the sudden change in affection and the only logical reason you could think of was James.

“James Fleamont Potter!” You marched into the Gryffindor common room, straight to where Lily was surrounded by books on a desk, the boy you were looking for in a seat right beside her- no doubt attempting to woo the poor girl who was just trying to study. She pretended to be bothered by him, you knew the truth but none of that mattered at the moment.

Apparently, he didn’t hear so went around the desk and dragged him up from his seat by his collar and cornered him on the wall behind the desk.

“You told him, you told Sirius and now he’s acting different!” Your forearm was on his throat, he glanced down at his wand. “Try it and I’ll jinx you so hard you won’t be able to turn into a stag for a long, long while.”

He gulped as he looked down onto your furious face, “I would never!”

“What the bloody hell is going on here?” Remus held a bewildered expression once he came down the steps of the boy's dorms. You glared at James, releasing your hold on him and taking a couple of steps back.

You pointed at the boy who was rubbing his neck, “He told Sirius about the party!”

“I did not, I swore I wouldn’t-”

“Liar!”

You and James bickered for several seconds, both of you not hearing the other until Lily slammed her textbook loudly.

“Enough,” She shouted, “Both of you are behaving like children!”

“She started it,” James muttered. You huffed, “I hate you.”

“You know what? Maybe he’s acting different because you can’t even look him in the eye when you speak to ‘im and trying to get you to pay attention to him, you loon.” James blurted out and finished off his statement with his arms crossed.

Remus took a step in your direction and asked you in a careful tone, “Y/n, would it really be so bad if Sirius knew?”

“If I knew what?”

The subject of discussion just walked through the portrait, your heart stopped at the thought of him possibly hearing your entire conversation. Nobody said anything but you felt everyone’s eyes on you, you only held onto Remus' stare and walked up to the girl's dormitories, not wanting to deal with this mess.

The way he was acting differently was the way he was being more physical with you. The tuck behind your ear, the wrapping of his arm around your shoulders, the caressing of your face for you to look him in the eye. Something you’ve avoided since the incident.

Physical touch was something that you and Sirius didn’t do. To touch each other for something other than comfort in a time of need, was an admission of something that was unspoken. Those careful touches were full of care, admiration, and love. As if you could ever touch each other with meaning less than that.

It was so simple that it was never done unless one of you was hurting, or if it was necessary for a task.

The accidental brush of fingers was the one that sent a spark up your spine. His pinky would twitch against yours, or yours against his and you both knew but that was the most that either of you would allow.

There were times were he would have his arm around your chair, and he would play with the ends of your hair, never actually touching you.

The only time that was an exception was when Sirius did something wrong, in which case he would do what he was doing now and was more physically affectionate. He was a puppy rubbing his head against its owners leg to gain favor for chewing on their owners' shoes. The analogy felt fitting, and that’s what you told Lily when she came to the dorm after you, asking what was wrong.

She laughed heartily, “Well, he’s not called Padfoot for nothing.”

You laid back against the headboard of your bed, “With all these signs, he knows.”

“Those aren’t bad signs, Y/n, it’s quite the opposite actually.” She advocated for Sirius’ behavior, “That’s the equivalent of a man sending flowers to his girlfriend.”

“But I am not his girlfriend”

She sighed, “I’m sure you two have heard this a lot, but you might as well be. This affliction with touch as a way to avoid your feelings doesn’t change that.”

She was right, you knew it- Sirius knew it, there was just something that prevented you and Sirius from taking that step. You felt like it was his fear of commitment and for yourself… as much as you would’ve loved to hear how Sirius feels out loud, what you had with him as friends was safer than ending up with a broken heart.

~~~

Tuesday after classes, the Marauders wanted to go out, but out they meant the Black Lake. Lily suggested a picnic and whatever Lily wanted, James provided.

Remus and Peter set up a large blanket, Marlene, Dorcas, and Mary held hands swinging them along while Mary held the basket. Lily and James walked behind them as you and Sirius trailed after.

Sirius halted you by intertwining his hand with yours, you looked up at him in question.

“Can we talk?”

You look over your shoulder at your friends- none of whom were paying any attention in your direction- traitors.

“Sure,” You give him a small smile.

Sirius’ silver eyes intimidated you, his beauty in his tall stature, his style, and his bone structure was pure elegance but his eyes are what you loved the most. They sliced through every rational thought you had and turned your legs into jelly, they held yours so gently it made you want to jump at his every request.

“I know why you’ve been so off with me lately,” He started and leaned his back against the tree with his hands in his front pockets.

Your eyes narrowed, and your eyebrow quirked for him to continue, “Go on.”

“It’s cute actually,” He was playing with you.

“Aren’t you going to tell me why you think I’ve been off?”

He tsked, “Now, where would the fun be in that? I wanna hear you admit it.”

You weren’t going to, “You’re the one who wanted to talk, you admit it.”

He pushed himself off the tree and stepped directly in front of you so that he towered over you, you had to bend your neck upwards to meet his gaze. He held your face in his hands so lightly, it was as if he expected you to break in his grasp.

“I admit to knowing that you saw me kissing that girl at the party, I saw you looking” You turned your head from him- pissed that he knew you were looking while kissing that girl but he snapped your head back to face him. “I was drunk, and she pulled me to kiss her, honestly I think she was wearing your perfume or something ‘cause I thought she was you. It’s not excusable I know but it’s the only one I’ve got, you’ve gotta believe me, dove.”

You didn’t know what to believe, whether you wanted to or not.

He searched your eyes for a reaction but you kept your face calm, the only sign of anything was your eyes flickering between both of his.

“I love you,” Your eyes widened. “I love you more than I’ve ever shown you, Y/n, and that’s all my fault because I should have told you. I can’t even begin to explain how fucking in love with you, I am.”

“Sirius-”

“Y/n.” He slightly shook you in his hands, “I need you to understand, Please. I wanted you to tell me that you loved me too, that it wasn’t just in my head. That you were jealous when you saw her when I should’ve gone after you, I wanted you to tell me that night or this week that you want me just as much as I want you. I was wrong, it was wrong of me,” He sounded breathless.

You couldn’t help it, your eyes flickered to his lips, you didn’t care anymore. His confession unlocked something in you that you just wanted to feel his lips finally, adoration filled your chest and any doubts about confessing were gone. He leaned down so that his forehead pressed against yours and your noses brushed, it was teasing.

He didn’t stop you when you nudged your nose against his and finally kissed him. It was a long, passionate, desperate kiss that left you desperate. Sirius turned his head and brought you so incredibly close, the kiss deepened and a heat rose from your body.

You smiled in the kiss and how long it’s been, you pulled away, your eyes filled with a new light, and you pecked his lips, “I love you more.”

“Impossible,” He kissed you some more before you joined your friends who didn’t bother to hide their cheeky smiles.

“How much did you guys hear?” You asked as you sat and leaned against Sirius on the blanket.

James’ smile widened with mischievousness, “Everything.”

The rest of them nodded and continued their conversations, as mid-afternoon turned to night, you and Sirius were the only ones left behind with the food as the others went out onto the dock, play fighting you saw James get tossed into the water by Remus.

“I know we weren’t into labels before, but I’d like to make it known that you’re my mine now,” Sirius whispered in your ear.

His words sent shivers down your spine, “Oh is that so?”

“You were as good as mine, Y/n,” Sirius confessed. “I was the idiot that didn’t make it clear enough to let you know how much I want you as my girlfriend.”

“And this is you asking,” You said it more as a statement.

“Unless you don’t want to be which is hardly believable with the way you kissed me earlier- honestly, Y/n- you’re quite the kisser, I always knew you would be but Merlin,” He spoke with an exaggeration to compete with James’ dramatics.

You lifted your body from him, sat on your knees, and straddled his legs, crawling up to meet him, “I would love to be your girlfriend.”

He chuckled, grabbing onto your hips “My little temptress,” He stroked his thumb against your cheek lovingly, kissing you softly.

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ponderingmoonlight · 5 months

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Hiiii! Can i request? I'm not sure if this was a good idea but I'm hoping maybe you could make an angst to fluff? Gojo x reader please. Where gojo thinks y/n is a burden but regretted it. Thank youuuu 🥺🙏

I've got you babe. It's not that heavy regarding hurt, I still hope you enjoy though (if you look for heavy heavy hurt, just look through my masterlist lol) Let me know what you think <3

Gojo calling (y/n) a burden to keep her safe

Pairing: Gojo x reader

Word Count: 2,8k

Synopsis: Despite the fact that Satoru Gojo was the one who lifted you up and gave you the confidence to go on your very first solo-mission, it was also him who shattered your confidence in order to keep you safe.

Warnings: language, (y/n) being self-unconscious, hurt but comfort (not that heavy hurt though)

To say you are excited is an understatement. Heart almost pounding out of your chest, whole face light up in nothing but motivation. Yes, this will be your day.

This is the day you’ve been waiting for, the moment you’ve trained so hard for all those months. You, on the side on none other than Satoru Gojo. The gifted boy who has it all, the boy with the six eyes, the boy you secretly have a crush on since joining Jujutsu High. You hate to admit it, especially towards your best friend Utahime. But god, something about him just makes your knees go weak.

“I’m gonna be honest with you. I’m not a huge fan of you being here, (y/n).”

Not because he thinks you aren’t skilled enough. Despite being in your first year, your fighting technique is remarkable, never skipping a single training session, always motivated. But the thought of exposing you to that cruel world outside jujutsu high, having to leave you alone on the battlefield…

Satoru just can’t. Fuck that everyone congratulates you on your first mission, fuck the way your eyes sparkle in excitement. Your beautiful doe eyes, your gorgeous innocent eyes…

He can’t let them hurt a single hair on your precious body.

“How’s that? You said yourself that I made a lot of progress”, you reply with an ever so slight pout.

Why would he say something like that? Even though you’re still in his first year and Satoru keeps himself busy with missions that require a special grade sorcerer, he always finds time to train with you. Even if it’s only for 5 minutes before leaving, even if it means standing in the rain with you for hours. He’s always there, always by your side. And now…now it is a bad thing that you accompany him? What about all those times he told you you are good enough when it was you who doubted herself.

Satoru clenches his jaw, eyes darting away from the stinging presence of your gaze. What is he supposed to say now? That he fucking loves you and hates the thought that you might get hurt? That this mission means you’ll be gone from time to time now and he’ll miss having you around all the time?

No way in hell.

“Just don’t get hurt, okay?”

The stone-cold tone in his usually so melodic voice makes your heart ache. Did you do something wrong? Was it something you’ve said?

You don’t have time to think about it any further. In fact, you get thrown into the air within the split of a second.

Your eyes widen in horror, all air escapes from lungs in an instant. That thing…that is definitely a curse. And what a strong one.

With a fast slash of your sword you free yourself just in time before getting smacked against a nearby building, landing on the ground so effortlessly elegant that Satoru can’t help but stare. You make it look so easy. And yet…

“I will have to leave now, (y/n). Call me when you need help. And remember what we trained for and the movement I’ve showed you yesterday. Keep in mind that you need to swing your leg-“

“Satoru.”

Gently, you place your hand on his shoulder.

“I’ve got this, okay? Go and free those jujutsu sorcerers. We’ll meet again when I exorcised that thing and you return with everyone safe and sound.”

Your breath-taking smile makes it hard for him to stay focused, to remind himself of the fact that your life is in serious danger. Even though that curse definitely isn’t that powerful, you still have to be careful. And Satoru won’t be here to protect you for a while.

“Get going, Satoru.”

One last glance. One last touch of his hand and you’re gone in the wind, swinging your body into the hot summer air. He shakes himself out of his trance, eyes focusing on the tall building ahead of him.

He has a job to do. The faster he is, the sooner he can fight by your side.

“Please keep your eyes open”, he mutters more to himself than towards you.

Then you’re alone. Eye to eye with the quite small curse who doesn’t even tries to fight against you anymore. Did it give up? Is it already this drained? You didn’t even fight for 5 minutes by now. It doesn’t matter though. This is your first ever solo-mission, the first time you were truly able to show your abilities. Well, it’s not your fault the curse appears to be weaker than expected, right?

With a swift motion you slice through it, expecting to turn into smoke like you’re used to. You blink a few times, sword digging into the ground.

But it doesn’t.

Is it a misunderstanding, maybe? Could it be possible that only the strong curses disappear when getting exorcised? Until today, you were only able to watch from afar how Suguru and Satoru did it. Maybe you missed something, maybe it is in fact-

All colour drains from yourself in an instant, soul leaving your body along with warm liquid running down your stomach.

Something hit you.

Something definitely pierced right through you.

Your trembling fingers push the emergency button on your phone just in time before you are threatened to get attacked again. It takes all your strength to outstand that thing. But no, it’s not the quite small curse from before. That standing right in front of you is a decent-sized monster.

“How?” you breathe out.

Fuck, every single breath sends wave of agony through your veins, blood soaking through your uniform with ease. Suddenly you begin to tremble regardless of the fact that the sun is scorching hot, sweaty hand holding onto the handle of your sword for dear life. You need to hold on, at least a few minutes, at least until Satoru returns to your side.

Satoru.

“Who the hell is this”, he mumbles, taking out his phone while busting through a wall.

It’s you.

No. His heart skips a beat. This is your distress signal. This means that you’re…

His eyes widen in pure horror, all the nasty things he imagined earlier becoming reality. Please, let this be a mistake, let this be a bad joke. But he knows you aren’t joking, that you wouldn’t push that button out of nowhere. It means your life is in danger – in serious danger if your suborn self decided on calling him.

Satoru doesn’t have to think twice. These jujutsu sorcerers will have to wait.

“You need to come here. Right now”, he barks into the speaker.

“Huh, what’s up your ass today? What is even going-“

“I don’t know, but (y/n) pressed the button. Just come here and bring Suguru with you.”

He hangs up on Shoko without waiting for her reply. Instead, he storms back the way that he came, greeted by nothing but chaos. Fuck, this looks bad. Very very bad, to be exact. Did all of this happen within maybe 15 minutes? But the curse wasn’t that strong when he left, you were able to land hits so easily.

“(y/n)?” he screams on top of his lungs.

“I’ve got this, Satoru”, you blurt out.

There you stand, completely soaked in your own blood, your uniform torn. He can’t catch his breath, hands trembling just by looking at you.

“You’ve got nothing, (y/n). Get out the way and let me handle this on my own”, he instructs you with a seriousness in his voice you’ve never heard before.

Maybe it was a mistake calling him, maybe you would have been able to defeat this thing alone. After all, Shoko will stitch you up when you return to Jujutsu High, right? This is your first solo-mission, you need to try harder, you need to at least try, show Satoru what you’ve learned.

Without hesitation you storm forward, sword slashing through the air. But just when your blade is about to hit that frightful creature, Satoru pushes you out of the way.

Just to get hit full force by that monster and crashing into a nearby building.

“Satoru!” you cry out.

“Leave. Right. Now.”, he hisses through gritted teeth.

“(y/n), you need to get going, come on!” a familiar female voice shouts over the noise.

Shoko. Is that Shoko? You squint your hurting eyes, looking into distance. She’s here along with Suguru. Your heart sinks, eyes filling with tears. But this…this should have been your first solo-mission, your very first success.

“Hey, can you hear me? Move your ass away from here, he’s got it”, Shoko reassures you, now by your side through the help of Suguru’s controlled curse.

“I’ve got this! It’s my first mission, I’m still able to fight, I’m still strong enough-“

“You’re nothing but a burden, (y/n)! You’re doing nothing but standing in my way!” Satoru suddenly screams so harshly into your face that you flinch back.

“Come on, no need to shout like that…”, Shoko interrupts.

“Don’t you get that you aren’t strong enough, that you aren’t as good as you think? Do me a favour and get out of the fucking way, (y/n). I don’t wanna see your face anymore.”

“B-but you were the one who told me-“

“I lied”, he interrupts you immediately.

“I didn’t wanna hurt your feelings. Look what you’ve did today. You aren’t even able to defeat a grade 2 curse.”

His words hit you with full force, pull the ground underneath your feet. And just like that he’s gone, catapulting himself onto the curse in front of you that is about to destroy the whole city. All you can do is stare at him through glossy eyes, silent tears running down your face. You don’t even protest anymore when Suguru and Shoko grab your shoulder and transport you away. Away from this mess.

Away from Satoru’s cruel words.

“You’re nothing but a burden.”

Nothing but a burden. Is this really how he feels about you? All those encouraging words, all the precious moments you were so certain that he looked at you with a spark of affection in his eyes.

But oh, that spark definitely died today. Nothing but thick rage radiated from his bright blue orbs, staring down at you in disgust.

“Hey, don’t cry. He’s not worth your tears”, Shoko tries to cheer you up while working wonders on your drained body.

“I thought…he saw more in me”, you hush.

“Men are stupid and useless. You did very well for your first mission alone, (y/n). And that curse definitely wasn’t a grade 2 like that idiot said. Not all of us get power stuck in their ass from birth, y’know”, she mumbles, casually lighting a cigarette.

Meanwhile Satoru’s heavy footsteps echo through the hallway of the hospital wing, his mind racing. Fuck, his heart doesn’t stop bleeding from the venomous words he shot at you earlier.

“I know why you did it. Maybe she’ll understand somehow”, Suguru tries to reassure him.

He knows it too. Satoru know you well enough to be aware of the stinging fact that you’re suborn. Too suborn to miss a single training session, too suborn to give up when he already beat you multiple times. And too suborn to run away from a fight when you’re already on the brink of death. If Shoko wasted another minute, if he would have been by your side just a few moments later…

You could be gone. You would have been killed in front of his very own eyes because of a curse than transformed itself into a special grade with every hit you landed on it, you would have been killed by a curse that would have ended the lives of every other jujutsu sorcerer apart from the three special grades.

And that’s because he had no choice but break your heart. Even though it tore him into pieces, even though he’ll never forget the way your numb eyes stared at him while Suguru and Shoko carried you away from the battlefield. Hurting your feelings seemed to be the only option he had to get rid of you.

“I feel so shitty, man. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that she’s a burden, she was always so self-unconscious about herself…”

Suguru pats the shoulder of his best friend gently, coming to a stand in front of the door that leads to you.

“Then it’s your job to make her feel better now, right?”

One last look at Suguru’s encouraging smile. His hand rests against the doorknob, taking a deep breath in before opening it.

“Oh, there he is, the devil himself”, Shoko comments dryly.

Satoru sends a death glare her way, shaking his head over the fact that she’s smoking while you lay right next to her.

“Hey, how you’re feeling?”, he asks towards you gently.

You blink away the film of tears that starts to form on your eyes all over again, avoiding his gaze at any costs. Not now, not when you’re already feeling down. Satoru Gojo definitely is the last person you want to see.

“Like a burden”, you mutter.

His heart stings in an instant.

“I never meant what I’ve said, (y/n). It’s just…I wanted to save you.”

“Save me by tearing me down?”, you question.

Fuck, he feels so dumb, standing next to your bed like an idiot while you stare at the ceiling, not even daring to look his way. He knows he deserves every bit of your rejection, that his words earlier that day must have been more than hurtful. But please…just talk to him, just glimpse at him one time.

“I told you over and over how strong you are, that you are ready for a solo-mission. But that today…That wasn’t a grade 2 anymore, (y/n). I know it was a special grade. No one except Suguru and I would be able to defeat something like this. But you were so dedicated, you were already on your way to storm into your certain death and I just couldn’t let that happen…I know how badly you wanted this to work out, but this wasn’t the right time. And you weren’t able to see that.”

Gently, he cups your hand with his. Your mind screams at you to pull away, to jump up and run away from him. But why…why are tears starting to pool your eyes, running down your bruised cheeks like waterfalls? Why is all you want to feel right now Satoru’s hand against yours? Why does it have to feel so calming?

And why do his words have to make sense?

“You said I’m a burden…”

“You are everything to me, (y/n)”, he suddenly blurts out.

“And the thought of hurting your feelings for a moment sounded better than you getting killed in that useless battle.”

You look up at him, the boy you learned to love so long ago, the boy who actually made you believe in yourself and your abilities. Is it really this easy to simply believe him, to forget about the stinging fact that he called you useless one way or another?

“But maybe you were right. The only thing I did was making things worse. It took me 3 kills to realize that he multiplies with every hit…”, you mutter defeated.

“Don’t you dare to believe a single word of that. I thought be talked this over”, Satoru insists, cupping your face gently.

“I know I am a jerk and believe me, I hated myself for the things I threw at you. But the truth is…You mean so much to me, the thought of losing you forever hurts way more than that you might hate me in some kind of way. But please, don’t ever talk yourself down. You are wonderful, you are outstanding smart, you are so skilled that it scares me. You are in your first year and still you managed to keep up with that thing for so long. You are strong, (y/n). Don’t let an idiot like me make you believe that you are a burden when you are in fact the greatest treasure on earth.”

You rest your tearing eyes for a moment, allow yourself to snuggle against the palm of his hand. It feels so good, like balm for your soul. Before knowing Satoru Gojo, you were nothing but an insecure little girl who was sure nothing great will ever come from her.

It was him who made you believe in yourself. It was him who showed you what you are capable to do. It was him who showed you how to love yourself. It was Satoru Gojo all along. And one glimpse into his sincere ocean blue eyes is enough to know that he still feels this way.

“I love you”, you whisper into the thick silence of the room.

“I love you too, (y/n). And you’ll be never be a burden to me, always remember that.”

Tags:

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fairydustblossom · 1 year

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losing control {part 2}

azriel x reader

summary: you and azriel have been best friends for decades. giving romance a chance takes some time to figure out.

category: angst, slow-burn, friends-to-lovers (kinda), fluff,

word count: 3.4k

warnings: some like super super light smut, hints at it really

notes: here’s part 2!! I thought this part was going to be more angsty but i caved and made it cute ◡̈ fret not tho bc angst is definitely coming,, enjoy!

{part 1} | {part 3} | {part 4} | {part 5}

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rhysand, Cassian, and Azriel were all standing in silence around the High Lords office, looking at each other, waiting for one to start talking. Azriel appeared from the shadows moments ago and conversation in the room had died down. By the look on their faces, Azriel knew they had been talking about him. He rolled his eyes, crossed his arms, looked at Cassian, and then at Rhys. A muscle ticked in his jaw when he met Rhys gaze, a look on his face that told Azriel he was trying to figure out what hel was feeling. It wasn’t often he was late or dismissed his brother.

He wondered what exactly they had been talking about but didn’t feel like interrogating another set of people that wouldn’t give him an honest answer, and hoped they would do the same in not questioning his disheveled appearance right now. His heart was still beating hard in his chest, his shadows were in a bit of a frenzy and he felt slightly nauseous at the thought of the conversation he would have with you tonight. Simply waiting for Rhys to start the meeting, he tried convincing the voice in his head to quiet down, managing to reign in his shadows.

Rhys cleared his throat and clapped his hands, “Well, let’s get started. Shall we?”

“Yes, let’s get started. I’m starving! I wanna get this done so I can eat and go to bed. Don’t tell her I told you, but Y/N really tired me out today. I knew she could fight but DAMN did she knock me around today. I felt like a punching bag” Cassian exclaimed with a hearty laugh.

At the mention of your name, Azriels heart started racing again. Dammit Cassian, he thought, just when he had managed to regain his composure. Cooling his expression, he stared at Rhys to keep from glaring at his other brother. He felt like his entire body was itching to be with you, to kiss you, to fix whatever was going on and carry on like normal. The look on your face and your silence felt wrong. His stomach knotted up again as your words replayed in his mind.

“I’m okay Az, I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately.”

Rhys arched an eyebrow and the corner of his mouth lifted into a smirk. “Care to explain?”

“Y/N lost her shit at practice today. We were sparring and she BLASTED me off with her fucking powers. I swear I almost shat my pants. My entire torso is bruised and I can barely sit. I’m gonna have to think of a way to get her back. Nesta was pissed. I mean, it did get me some special treatment afterwards. I guess I shouldn’t complain. Maybe I should thank Y/N instead” Cassian laughed again and quieted down with a smug look on his face, probably thinking about his ‘special treatment’ from Nesta.

Azriel fought the urge to roll his eyes. His brother's joyfulness was reminding him of how he was feeling, which was the exact opposite. He wanted special treatment and given your distance, he certainly wasn’t getting any tonight. That thought made his chest ache. His body didn’t know what emotion to feel. Anger, sadness, annoyance, fear- his emotions were running wild and he felt completely scrambled. The hold you had on him was unlike any he had ever experienced

At Cassian’s explanation, Rhys raised both eyebrows and released a mix between a chuckle and a snort.

With an amused look on his face he said “You probably deserved it, Cass. What did you do?”

“Nothing!” Cassian exclaimed. “I swear! I told her to concentrate and I gave her some shit for skipping training yesterday but I do that, like, everyday. I don’t know. She just said she lost control.”

Azriel was zoning out of the conversation trying to not react to every mention of your name, but at the mention of skipping training his ear quirked up. You had missed training? You never did that. You were just as serious about your job as him, he had only known you to skip a few times, only after Solstice or a night at Rita’s. His face gave no hint of how he was feeling, but he was confused. Had your activities the night before left you that sore? He hadn't been rough, he thought.

An image flashed in his mind of you underneath him, eyes rolled back in pleasure. He felt a flutter in his belly and the need to take you again rising within him. Quickly, he made sure his mental shields were up, in case a certain High Lord was lurking around and fought off the blush rising to his face.

“Azriel?” He heard Rhys ask with an expectant look on his face. Shit, did he ask something? Azriel thought to himself “Did you see this happen? Is Cassian exaggerating?”

“He wouldn’t know, he was too busy flirting with Gwyn.” Cassian snickered, “Weren’t you Az?”

Azriel couldn’t fight off the blush this time and he shifted his feet once, twice, wings ruffling slightly before clearing his throat. His shadows were becoming agitated again. “I was not flirting with Gwyn, Cass. And yes, Cassian is exaggerating. She didn’t blast him off, she knocked him over a few steps”

“You totally were! You were feeling her up from behind and she was totally like ‘Oh Az I love when you hold me, come hold me at the library and I'll hold you in the training pit’ ALSO that is a gross- what’s the opposite of exaggeration?”

“Understatement” Rhys said at the same time Cassian shouted “MISS-EXAGGERATION of the truth. I’m telling you Rhys, Az couldn’t tell you his ass from his elbow the way he was flirting with Gwyn. Ask Nesta”

“I was not flirting. I kept a professional distance and treated everyone in the class the same way-”

“Guess you were flirting with the whole class then-” Cassian scoffed.

“And I don’t think your mate is a reliable source on today's accounts” Azriel finished.

“Alright we can just settle this with the actual truth” Rhys said and moments later he felt sharp talons clawing at his mental shields. Azriel held his stance and refused his brother entrance.

Usually, Azriel would let him in without holding back. He was loyal to his brother but he couldn’t risk Rhys seeing the image he had just been thinking about and all the different thoughts about you, your conversation, and the way you looked during training. If he was honest with himself, he didn’t actually fully see what had happened between you and Cassian. He was too busy trying to sneak glances at you, hoping he wasn’t being too obvious in front of the Valkyries. He struggled all morning on not focusing on the way your sculpted arms shone in the sun, the sweat rolling down your neck, the way your leathers hugged your legs, the way they hugged your ass.

So for this reason, he refused to let Rhys see.

Rhys was surprised but didn’t push Azriel, having noticed the mood he was in. He simply pursed his lips while he looked into Cassian's mind to see what had happened from his point of view.

“Well I gotta say Az, I am seeing Cassian eat some shit after Y/N punched him. I wouldn’t necessarily call it a blast, but he did end up quite a few feet away… Maybe I should make her my war general.” the violet eyed male smirked, getting a reaction out of Cassian, “I can also definitely see you standing reaaally close to Gwyn while she flirts with you. Seems like there’s more truth in Cassian's words than lies today”

Azriel frowned slightly, returning to his inner monologue.

He didn’t think Gwyn had been flirting with him. Right? They were friends. Just friends. Sure, he noticed Gwyn felt more comfortable around him than other males, but he thought it was just because they had both been through hardships that left them scarred. A few shadows crept up and curled around his wrists. They always did that when he thought of his past.

Had Gwyn really been flirting? Oh Gods, he realized in alarm, Did Y/N think I was flirting with Gwyn? In front of her? She has to know I would never do that. No, it can’t be that. She’s been avoiding me since yesterday.

“Az you can’t seriously tell us you didn’t notice Gwyn flirting with you. Aren’t you supposed to be, like, a Spymaster?”

This time, Azriel did shoot Cassian a glare, one that made Cassian raise his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay, maybe you weren’t flirting with Gwyn, but she definitely was. Everyone noticed.”

With a chuckle, Rhys clapped his hands again and began the meeting.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Back in your room, you did everything in your power to relax and pull yourself together. You bathed, got dressed, tried reading, tried catching up on paperwork from missions, until finally you had given up. It was evening now and you were sitting on the window nook in your room, fidgeting with the silver ring you wore on your thumb. The ring on your finger had been Azriel’s. It had the mountains and stars of Velaris carved around it. Alternating between overlooking the city and staring at the door across the other side of your room, you waited, thinking of when Azriel had given it to you.

As you traced the mountains, you closed your eyes and remembered the day he had given you the ring. He didn’t wear his rings often and when he did, you could never keep your hands off them. The ring you wore now had always been the one you played with the most, the tips of your fingers always finding their way to his forefinger. You would stroke his fingers one by one up and down the length of them, more often than not giving his forefinger the most attention. When you had first started doing it you hadn’t even realized what you were doing until you felt Azriel twitch slightly and his shadows wrapping around his hands. He had blushed, and you felt giddy at the fact that you could make him blush. The giddiness giving you the confidence to lift his hands from his shadows up to your lips, a few shadows still trailing behind. After placing a kiss on each of his knuckles, you had dropped his hand back to where his shadows had gathered, looking up at Azriel with a soft smile.

The shock gradually turning into warmth in Ariel's eyes had made you feel alive. You had wanted nothing more than for him to know how much you adored him, every part of him. His hand went up to cup the side of your face, covering almost all of it, and you leaned your face against it and then he kissed you. It hadn’t been the first time, but it had felt like the most intimate kiss you had shared.

Later that night, limbs tangled together, he grabbed your hand from its resting place on his chest and repeated the actions you had done earlier that day. Trailing his fingers up and down each one of yours, he placed a feather light kiss on your knuckles and slipped the ring onto your thumb. Looking at it now reminded you of those kisses and your heart longed for them.

Suddenly, two soft knocks snapped you out of your day dream and you quickly looked up. Azriel. Breathing in and out as you walked over you told yourself you were not going to be weird anymore. After he had left the changing room you had felt worse than you had all day, and a little cruel. This male that you got to privately call your own had shown you nothing but adoration. You felt ashamed at the way you let your overthinking and then your jealousy take over you. If Azriel wanted to take this slow, to keep this from his family, you would be patient. You would wait for him to be ready. He deserved nothing less.

When you opened the door you were met with striking golden eyes and your breath caught in your throat. Gods, he was beautiful. And you mentally rolled your eyes at yourself, you always reacted like this everytime you set your eyes on him after a few hours. It was like your brain went into shock and needed a moment to process his beauty. Trailing your gaze down, you noticed he was holding a plate.

“You weren’t at dinner so I um brought you some '' was his greeting, deep voice washing over you. The only thing your body wanted to do at that moment was to throw your arms around him. But you refrained, thinking it would probably be a little unfair after scaring him into thinking something was wrong.

“Thank you, Az.” you whispered, grabbing the plate from him, walking over to rest it on a table and taking a peek at what was in it. Soup. And your heart felt like melting again. He knew exactly what you needed.

When you turned back around you noticed he had stepped inside your room but was still standing by the door. His distance felt unnatural, a feeling of distress overcame you. You wanted to erase the weirdness you had caused so you walked over to him and grabbed him by his hands, leading him to the end-of-bed bench. You pushed him down and after debating for just a second, you sat on his lap. How could you not? He looked irresistible and he had brought you food.

His arms immediately wrapped around you and you cradled his face in your hands. Some of the tension he came in with had left his body and the serious face he wore had shifted to a softer, worried look.

“Talk to me Y/N. Please” he said as he tightened his grip around him.

“We’re okay Az” you whispered.

He nodded, relief seeping out of him, but he still looked confused.

“What... what happened today? You said you wanted to talk about us. It didn’t really sound like we were okay”

Shame at how you had worried him, overcame you again and you dropped your head down onto his shoulder. Staying silent, you listened to his heart beat, aware that it was racing not unlike yours. How could you explain everything you had been feeling without making it into a whole thing. You just wanted to ignore it, forget you even brought up having a conversation about your relationship, and just hug Azriel all evening long.

One of his hands moved up your back and came to rest on the back of your head. After a few moments he broke the silence. “Was it… Gwyn?”

At the mention of Gwyns name you tensed up and sat up, looking him in the eyes now. The feeling of jealousy climbed up within you. What happened to regretting your jealous tantrum? You scolded yourself and tried to cool your expression.

”I’ll admit I got jealous,” you muttered, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

Azriel moved to unwrap them, holding your wrists to guide you into hugging his neck. The top of your hand grazed one of his wings and you saw the way his wings reacted, a slight shudder running through them.

“You know you have nothing to worry about, right?” he said, face just inches apart.

“I know,” you sighed “it’s just- ugh it’s just annoying”

He hummed in acknowledgement. “I’m sorry baby,” your belly fluttered at the pet name, he had only recently started calling you it. “I didn’t even realize she was flirting with me.”

You rolled your eyes with a laugh “Az there’s no way you didn’t realize”

He leaned in and started kissing along your jaw “I promise. I was too busy trying to concentrate on not staring at you all morning.”

You felt a pang in your chest. What was so bad about staring at you? You didn’t care who saw you staring at him.

Another kiss was placed on your neck. He was nuzzled in there now slowly working his way up and you brushed the feeling aside, trying to hold onto your resolve to not bring up how you had really been feeling. It wasn’t just jealousy, it was the secrecy of your relationship. You felt ready to openly be with Azriel.

“I think everyone knew today that Gwyn was flirting with you. And… you were standing behind her… I saw you blushing.” You mumbled, not wanting it to seem like you were accusing him. You knew he hadn’t taken any part in the flirting, but it still felt wrong to you. Why didn’t he shut it down?

He stilled and leaned back to look at you with a pained expression “I was blushing because I was thinking about how good you looked. I couldn’t stop staring at your ass.” He chuckled, a blush creeping up on his face. “I promise baby you are all I think about, I couldn’t even let Rhys into my memories to see you punch Cass because all he would've seen was me checking you out. I only know Gwyn was flirting with me because Cassian told me”

You raised an eyebrow, still holding on to your skepticism, not truly believing that you could consume his thoughts so much to the point he was unaware of a beautiful female flirting right in front of him. But then again, he consumed yours in just that way. You and Azriel were together. You were the first female he had pursued an actual relationship with in centuries and you just needed to stop forgetting that.

Wait, you sat up in alarm, realizing what Azriel had just said and you groaned.

“Rhys knows about what happened?” covering your face with your hand you mumble “I’m so embarrassed. Was he mad?”

Azriel grinned and raised his eyebrows, “Did you really expect Cassian to keep quiet?”

One of his hands rubbed soothing circles into your back “Don’t worry about it. It’s not a big deal, Rhys wasn’t upset. He said Cassian probably deserved it.”

“He really didn’t” you mumbled “I was hoping he didn’t tell Rhys. Last time Amren used her powers during training he made her go up and down the stairs to the house like three times to cool off”

“Yeah but that’s Amren she’s like an ancient god and can end us all with a snap of her finger”

You nodded in agreement letting out a tiny laugh. A silence fell over you both and you scooted closer to him again, leaning your forehead against his. Readjusting yourself to straddle his lap.

“So… You couldn’t let Rhys see what you were thinking about huh?” You asked, one of Azriel’s hands coming to rest on your face and the other one gripping your hips, pulling you in closer. He hummed in response. You leaned in, lips almost touching. “And what were you thinking about Mr. ShadowSinger?”

You could feel his warm breath on your lips as anticipation built up deep in your belly. “I’d rather show you” Azriel grumbled and leaned in to kiss you. His mouth was warm, his lips were soft, and the kiss was slow. His grip on your hip tightening even more, grinding you down onto him in a slow sensual movement. Both of your hands came to rest on his defined jaw and you felt like melting. The warmth spread throughout your body as he continued kissing you unhurriedly, taking his time in moving his lips against yours. His tongue slipped past your lips and you left out a soft moan, you felt it slide across yours without overpowering it.

Azriel pulled back and started kissing down your neck, stopping to nibble at your ear and whispered “You don’t know how badly I need you” then continued down to your shoulders, slipping the strap of your dress down for more access. He kept kissing until he reached the top of your chest. He kept trailing down, sucking one hardened nipple through your dress. Another moan left your lips and your head fell back.

You grinded down on him, once, twice, before he picked you up and placed you on the bed. He climbed over you, his wings blocking out the light and creating a space that felt cozy and intimate. He kissed you again with passion, rolling his hips against yours.

“I’m yours.” Another kiss. “And you’re mine.” He made his way down the bed, determined to make you feel just how much he had been missing your touch the past two days.

taglist: @acotarxx @fall-myriad @moonlwghts @fictionalmenloversblog

#azriel #fairydustblossom #losing control series #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #acotar #acomaf #acowar #azriel angst #azriel fic #acotar fanfiction #azriel fluff

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indigogvf · 5 months

Text

Bottled up

Summary: Jake comforts you after a bad week at work.

Warnings: Crying? There’s no others that I can think of, just lots of comfort and fluff.

Word count: 1279

AN: Thanks for helping me decide which fic to do on my poll!! Im still gonna do the other two at some point, but Jake comfort was the winner so you’re getting this one first😁

Also, my requests are open!! I’d love to hear any ideas.

You just finished work, and you’re walking rather quickly to your car, whilst also desperately holding back tears to avoid your boss after he gave you a deadline for a presentation; a presentation he told you about yesterday. And the deadline is on Monday.

It’s Friday.

After the immense stress and pressure you’ve been holding in this week, it was safe to say you were now at your breaking point.

You practically threw yourself into your car as tears started streaming down your face, not wanting to catch the attention of any coworkers who might also be leaving. Everything that had even slightly upset or bothered you this week now seemed earth shattering as you finally let yourself feel all the emotions you’ve been pushing away. You were never one to talk about how you felt; you always felt as if no one really cared, or that you were being a burden. Everyone has their own stuff going on, why do they need yours to think about too?

You pulled up in the driveway, taking a deep breath before getting out of your car and making your way to the house. You walked in, chucking your keys on the side table and hanging your coat up. “Jake, I’m home.” You called out. You walked through to the kitchen to see where he was after you heard no response, and found him cutting up some type of vegetable, which you couldn’t quite see because he was in the way. “Hey. What are you making?” You questioned.

“Hey, honey. I’m making lasagna for dinner. I know it’s your favourite, and I wanted to do something nice for you.” He smiled. You took a deep breath, not wanting to start up the waterworks for the second time. He was so good to you.

“Oh. That’s very thoughtful of you, Jake. Thank you.” You returned his smile as he pulled you in for a sweet little kiss. “I’m gonna head upstairs and take a shower.” You began walking away,

“Wait!” He called, “How was work?”

You were really hoping you’d dodged that question.

“Uh.. yeah, it was fine.” You briskly walked away, desperately trying to avoid any further questions.

You failed.

“Just fine? Are you sure?” He paused for a moment, awaiting your response. When you hesitated, he continued. “You’ve been a little off with me this week.. have I done something wrong? Is there something going on elsewhere that’s bothering you?”

Fuck.

You hate this. You almost hate yourself for this. You’ve been pushing him away all week, attempting to avoid this exact conversation. As much as you want to just curl up on the couch with him and bathe in his love and affection, you knew yourself too well. You knew you’d crack and end up crying to him about how stressed you’ve been, which is exactly what you want to avoid. You hate that you’ve made him feel like he’s done something wrong. You can feel your lip quivering as you hold back your tears for the second time since you’ve come home. “I’m sorry. I.. I just-“ aaaand here it comes.

You put your head in your hands as you start bawling, trying to conceal the fact that you’re most definitely not okay. Although you think it’s fairly obvious, because Jake rushes over to you, embracing you in a tight hug as your body shakes against his. “Hey, it’s okay. Shhh. Just let it all out,” He says softly into your ear whilst gently stroking your hair. “Talk to me, baby. What’s going on?” He prods.

You collect yourself, taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm yourself enough to explain yourself. “I’m sorry for pushing you away all week. You didn’t do anything, I’ve just had a week from hell. I didn’t want to be a burden to you so I just kept it to myself, but I knew if you were to ask about my day, I’d crack.” You mumbled, feeling slightly ashamed because saying it out loud makes you feel slightly pathetic.

“What makes you think you can’t talk to me? You can always talk to me - about anything. I want to be there for you, honey. But I can’t if i don’t know when there’s something bothering you. Your problems will never burden me, I promise. Now, tell me what happened.” He reassures you, still giving gentle strokes across your hair.

You knew your thought process was slightly unnecessary when it came to Jake. He’s never made you feel like you can’t talk to him; in fact, you know you can talk to him. You assume it was from when you were a teenager and your two friends ignored you for being upset, and then proceeded to tell you it was draining to be around you. You’re glad that Jake shows you nothing of the sort.

“Well, on Monday, there was four clients who phoned and screamed at me down the phone for the way that their previous issues were handled. I didnt even deal with their original complaints. On Tuesday, my boss called me for a meeting about those calls and basically questioned my ability to do my job, despite the fact that I told him multiple times I didn’t handle their original complaints. On Wednesday, my coworker shouted at me in front of the entire office about how i didn’t send him some documents he needed, even though he didn’t tell me about them. On Thursday I split my coffee on my cream coloured jumper and had to walk around with a giant stain down my chest. Today, my boss gave me a deadline for a presentation. He told me about the presentation on Thursday, and the deadline is on Monday.” You took a breath, feeling like you were suffocating because of how quickly and passionately you listed all of the problems of the week.

“Oh, love. I’m sorry. You don’t deserve to be treated this way. You’re always working so hard, it’s a shame they can’t see that. Have you thought about working somewhere else? You deserve to be respected and seen for your work, and I don’t think you’re going to get that at this company.” He spoke in the most delicate voice.

You thought for a moment, contemplating his suggestion of getting a new job. “I don’t know. I hadn’t really thought about that; but I think you might be right.” You replied.

Jake pulled you closer to him, placing your head on his chest. “You know you can always talk to me, don’t you?” He asked.

“I do. I guess I just overthink it sometimes.” You said, reassuring him.

“Do you promise you’ll talk to me next time?” He held his pinky finger out.

“I pinky promise, Jake.” You shook his pinky as you smiled at each other.

He pulled you in for a gentle kiss to your lips and then planted kisses around your face, leaving an extra big one on your forehead. You giggled in response, already feeling much better.

“Why don’t we eat our lasagna and try to come up with some solutions that might make your work easier, and then cuddle on the couch with a movie on in the background, hm? That sound good, pretty girl?” He suggested.

“Mmm, that sounds amazing. Thank you, Jake. I love you.” You nuzzled your head into his chest. You could hear his heartbeat gently thumping in your ear.

“I love you too, sweetheart.” He placed a kiss on your head whilst simultaneously giving you a tight squeeze.

You loved him so much, it was almost too much. But you especially loved how loved he made you feel.

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satorugojjo · 9 months

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I don’t think there’s a single book BookTok has promoted in the last couple years that’s turned out to be an actually good “you cannot miss this read” which now makes me and so many others I know avoid it as a whole.

A lot of BookTok books seem to be specific for very young or very new readers who haven’t cut their teeth on fanfic or haven’t been reading from a young age. The writing style is either a really profound Instagram metaphorical caption kinda overwrought and over flowery language, or it’s trying so hard to be edgy and sardonic and ends up being completely tell and almost zero show. This Is How You Lose The Time War is a PERFECT example of this - where the flowery and poetic language actually takes AWAY from a scene and distracts you from it rather than adding anything to it in the moment, and for those who do like poetic fiction this will be up their alley but if you don’t and you pick it up because of badly marketed hype when you normally wouldn’t, it’s gonna turn you off reading in general!

There’s nothing wrong with starter fiction to help get readers engaged and then find their way into actually good books, but my gripe is that it’s never ever marketed as that and as if it it’s just generically good fiction. Nothing Colleen Hoover has ever written is objectively good - the writing style is mediocre and she romanticises taboo topics which will seem spicy to the average population who doesn’t READ. And yet she takes up every bookshelf which I promise you will end up turning many readers who ARENT on booktok away from reading altogether.

YA is another genre that has declined a lot in recent years because it’s full of marketers trying to fit all the buzzword tropes into their books and getting young readers to buy it because it’s “enemies to lovers pirate cyberpunk found family” or whatever - and it feels more like focus group fiction rather than actual writing. I LOVE YA but nothing that’s been released post 2020 has had any depth, plot, character development or any style to it.

A great example is Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros - i tried reading 2 chapters as a sample and it was shocking to see how illogical, overdramatic, overedgy and exceptionally “this happened then this then this then that” it was. There was absolutely zero nuance and it felt so “I’m telling you all this but I’m not gonna prove any of it”. And yet it’s rated either 5 stars or 1 star. I’m sure it’s a great starter middle grade/teen book but it is definitely not deserving to be on the same pedestal as other YA books like Hunger Games or Six of Crows. I used to think that perhaps I’ve just outgrown YA but considering I can pick up YA from 2018 that I haven’t read before with no problems, it’s so specific to BOOKTOK YA.

It’s getting to the point that if I see a book that’s being overpromoted on tiktok, I’m more likely to believe the bad reviews because there hasn’t been a SINGLE book where I’ve disagreed with them, and then go find a different book in the same genre that hasn’t been on booktok - it’s getting hilarious actually that the books that are actually incredible get zero screen time and traction on booktok because they aren’t just cheap easy airport reads. Once again - nothing wrong with an easy airport CH book or YA book, but we aren’t going around parading a Lee Child book as peak literature no matter how enjoyable they are.

I don’t even have a conclusion to this entire rant - I’m sick of books like Babel getting steamrolled because it was “too sad or too hard” in favour of the latest SJM book, and getting even more sick of the decline of media literacy due to books getting easier and more spoonfeedy. When they aren’t? They mistake flowery metaphors for complexity and depth.

#booktok #books #bookblr #Rebecca yarros #fourth wing #colleen hoover #this is how you lose the time war #Babel #rf kuang

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ohii-san · 4 months

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UNKNOWN HOLY NIGHT AND NIGHTHEAD - WHITE CAROL 1

( The next day )

Rinne: Achoo!

Ah… So when your body’s cold, your wallet will be too[1]…

I shoulda stopped at my first win. If I’d just stopped pushing there, I’d be a lot richer and happier right about now~...

Niki: ♪ ( Eating sweets excitedly )

Rinne: Hey. You look too happy. Don’t get too excited over that big win of yours, ‘kay?

Niki: Ah. Just ‘cause you lost doesn’t mean you can take it out on me, Rinne-kun!

I mean, Rinne-kun’s the reason I came here in the first place. Despite your cruel remarks, I gave in and went out with you, ya know?

Rinne: Ah, jeez~. Why’d Niki get such a victory while I’m left broke? No matter how I look at it, that feels wrong…

Niki: Well there’s no helping that, ‘cause it’s just the way things are, isn’t it?

I did it just like Rinne-kun told me, I aimed for the hole in the middle… Wasn’t that the point, to aim right there?

‘Cause then, before I knew it, a bunch of balls came out.

Rinne: Tch! That’s just beginner’s luck.

Ah, I’m so depressed. I give so much to them…

Why’re they being kinder to some amateur first-timer than me, a regular customer… They’ve got an obligation to treat me well, don’t they?

Niki: … Mogumogu. Of course Rinne-kun would be looking for kindness and fairness from a pachinko parlor. I wonder if this is the rumored sensor of material desire I heard about?

Rinne: … Don’t look so pleased eating those sweets you won, c’mon. And they’re only a fraction of your winnings…

Hey, since I’m the one who invited you out here, those are rightfully mine too. Share them with me!

Niki: Eh?! That’s ridiculous, what kinda argument is that?! … Ah, you’ve seriously taken them already?!

Rinne: Mogumogu… I’m really depressed, so can’t ya be nicer to me?

Look around, everyone around seems happy and probably luckier than me, to boot. Am I the only unhappy person in the whole world? Ah… The world truly is cruel and dark.

Niki: Ah, well~. Don’t start being annoying to everyone around just ‘cause you’re bad at pachinko, ‘kay?

Look, look. I want you to really look around. There’s Christmas decorations all over the place. Even the sweets I got at the pachinko parlor were Christmas themed, see?

So, what do you think? Aren’t you getting excited too?

Rinne: … Ah? Come to think of it, I guess it’s true everything’s all decorated for Christmas… Isn’t it kinda early for that, though? It’s only November.

Niki: Eh? It’s just like this everywhere lately, though. Even Cinnamon’s already taking reservations for Christmas cakes.

Rinne: Hm. So it’s Christmas…

Niki: That’s a pretty underwhelming response~. You were really excited for the Halloween event[2].

Rinne: That’s ‘cause as the leader, if I don’t keep things lively, our morale as a unit’s not gonna go up either. Besides, if I’m gonna do something as an idol, I’ll definitely make the most of it and enjoy it to the fullest.

Niki: Right, Rinne-kun’s just like that, huh~?

He pretends to be a pretty lively kinda guy, but he’s surprisingly level-headed and thoughtful. It’s been that way since he started crashing at my apartment…

Rinne: But everyone’s like that. As long as I’m doing this kinda work, I’ve gotta control myself and be conscious of my energy.

Besides, as long as I’m with Niki, there’s no need to force myself to act excited.

Niki: That’s true. So then, is Rinne-kun really not interested in Christmas at all?

Rinne: Eh. It’s not really like that…

I don’t mind if we do a live for it or something. It’s just a holiday that never made it into my hometown.

Ever since joining the idol industry, I’ve been given year-end schedules that don’t gimme time to enjoy Christmas. Besides, to be honest, I don’t have any memory of enjoying it either.

If you go to a pachinko place on that day, you can give it your all and still go home just as sad and lonely as you could otherwise.

All the red and green decorations inside the stores and along the way home… They’re excessive, they make me feel emptier.

The only good memories of Christmas I’ve got are Niki making delicious meals while we lived together… D’you remember that?

Niki: Ah, now that you mention it… That did happen, didn’t it~?

Rinne: Well, that’s good. Kids really should have fun and enjoy Christmas.

Right, it’s fine if kids are excited, enjoying themselves and bouncing around. But for adults, it’s just the same as any other weekday.

Niki: Eh~? Rinne-kun, are you for real? I don’t think that’s the case, though.

After all, it’s Christmas, right?

Niki: Turkey and roast beef and beef stew! Ginger cookies, candy canes, bûche de Noël[3], and the classic strawberry Christmas cake! ☆

It’s a dream-like kinda day for me, ‘cause I get to eat delicious food all day, y’know?! I wish Jesus Christ was born every day!

Rinne: … Didn’t you say something like that about Halloween, too? I guess you’d be happy with any event tied to food.

Niki: Well, simply put, yeah.

Rinne: … Huh? Ah, shit!

Niki: Eh? What’s wrong? You’re looking pretty alarmed at that clock…

Rinne: I’ve got a meeting for work right about… Now.

Niki: Huh?! Rinne-kun, you seriously came to play pachinko even though you had work?! I thought today was a day off for you?!

Rinne: Damn, I overstayed… Anzu-chan said “Absolutely don’t be late!” but, well… I am late, shit.

I wonder if I’ll make it if I run. ES is pretty far, though…

Sigh. It’s gonna be a pain either way~. Anyway, I’m heading off now, so it doesn’t matter!

Niki: Well, it’s a good chance for some exercise, right? Good luck, Rinne-kun!

Rinne: Hm? Why’re you talking like you’re not involved too, Niki. You’re comin’ too, y’know. Rinne-kun will be lo~nely otherwise!

Niki: Huh?! But it has nothing to do with me, really, right?! I mean, you don’t even feel lonely at all, do you Rinne-kun? You just wanna drag me into it!

Rinne: C’mon, let’s go~. Run, run~!

Niki: Ah, he’s already…! You were really serious about this?! Ugh– I’m only doing this for you this once, Rinne-kun!

[1]: the way rinne refers to this is something that can either be translated as wallet or breast pocket, such as that of a suit, where the wallet is kept . he's being kind of defeatist here

[2]: referring to spider, which aurora has translated here !

[3]: this is yule log/christmas log !

proofread by @misuzuh ! <3

#unknown holy night and nighthead #enstars translation #rinne amagi #niki shiina #ensemble stars #ensemble stars translation #enstars translations #from the doctor's clipboard

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inamindfarfaraway · 6 months

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The Morality of Mabel and Dipper Pines

Warning: Dipper Levels of Overanalysis Ahead

I’d like to make it clear at the start that I love both of these characters equally and they’re both good people, just in different ways. But I’ve seen a lot of criticism of Mabel’s flaws and less of Dipper’s, so I’d like to contribute to the discussion of their respective characters by exploring a divide between them I haven’t seen talked about much.

Mabel really wants to be a moral person. She places a lot of intrinsic worth in the concepts of ethics, like kindness and fairness and the wellbeing of others. Being a bad person could be considered her worst fear. It’s definitely up there with her other greatest fears of losing her relationship with Dipper and the inevitability of change, and those fears developed later largely in response to Ford and the baggage he brought with him.

Dipper just doesn’t care about that as much. That isn’t to say he’s a bad person! He's compassionate, selfless, brave and unquestionably heroic by the end of the show. They both are. But it sticks out to me how differently they think about ethics. For example, Dipper literally kills Wax Sherlock Holmes, while Mabel is so averse to hurting someone’s feelings that she can’t bear to break out of a false, one-sided relationship with Gideon until Dipper's life is at stake. You see what I’m getting at here? But I have more evidence! Buckle up, this is gonna get long.

Compare how they treat their rivals, Pacifica and Robbie. These are ordinary humans with no real authority over them who, age and class gaps aside, they're basically on even footing with in confrontations, so this is a good metric for how aggressive they are when upset and how much they hold grudges in mundane situations.

In “Irrational Treasure”, Mabel is deeply hurt by Pacifica’s mockery to the point of giving up her silly identity, and sets out to prove her wrong that she can be competent. But at the end, when presented with the opportunity to destroy the Northwest family’s fake prestigious legacy that they use to justify putting others down, she declares, “I’ve got nothing to prove” and lets it go. She’s secure in herself. Her motivation is satisfied. Why bother putting more pain and strife into the world? It’s Dipper, who has been only been hurt by proximity to Mabel, who insists on exposing the truth specifically to spite Pacifica and takes away that “Man, revenge is underrated. That felt awesome!” Revenge is arguably a form of justice, especially in this sense of revealing an unfair lie, but still, he takes great pleasure in bringing an enemy down for the sake of it, not to fix the damage they did.

In “Fight Fighters”, Dipper’s vindictive streak returns. He manipulates the ridiculously powerful Rumble McSkirmish into brutally beating up Robbie on the fraudulent charge of murder, threatening Robbie’s life. He didn’t realize Rumble would try to kill Robbie, but he was fine with him severely injuring him. Rumble is a fighting game character, a superpowered master martial artist. Robbie is a normal fifteen-year-old. This is not a sportsmanlike matchup. By the end Dipper learns his lesson and takes responsibility, but so does Mabel about hurting people to try to have a perfect life and people still complain about that!

In “The Golf War”, Mabel is again the twin with a bone to pick with Pacifica, but Dipper takes her rivalry more seriously than her and is more willing to be mean about it. He encourages her to cheat when she doesn’t want to, justifying it because Pacifica is “cheating at life”. Understandable, but still underhanded. While Mabel bonds and buries the hatchet with her rival by the end, outright declaring their rivalry to be stupid, Dipper holds onto it, refusing to forgive Pacifica at all and disapproving of Mabel's offer to give her a ride home afterward despite the pouring rain and her absent parents. He still wholeheartedly considers her “the worst” (and tells her so to her face) at the beginning of “Northwest Mansion Mystery”, even though he saw her and Mabel help and protect each other in their fight against the Lilliputtians and Pacifica thank Mabel and accept her apology.

In “The Love God”, Mabel’s compassion is on full display. She makes it apparent that she wants everyone she knows to be happy, to the point of making a chart to show her friends’ feelings with stickers, and goes out of her way to help Robbie just because she doesn’t think any human being should be so lonely and sad. Dipper initially has no sympathy for Robbie’s misery and sees the twins and his old friends leaving him to rot as a good thing.

Dipper just invests more emotionally into hating people and is more willing to play dirty. Mabel prefers to see the best in people, forgive, deescalate conflict and turn enemies into friends whenever possible, and has more respect for honour and sportsmanship.

Compare the insecurities they highlight in "Society of the Blind Eye". These could have been their last words spoken with their memories of the summer, so they are fully candid and vulnerable.

Mabel confesses, “I only love some of my stuffed animals and the guilt is killing me!” She reprimands herself for not having sincere affection for all the people in her life… who are inanimate objects, hence this being a joke about how immature and overly sentimental she is. But she’s telling the truth! Not being honest about your feelings toward someone who loves you (as toys are assumed to love their kids) is wrong. It’s something a bad, or at least flawed, person would do. We also know that it’s something Mabel can do with real consequences - she loves Dipper unconditionally, but her frequent teasing of him instead of letting this on damages his self-esteem more than she intends and often realizes - and when she does realize as in “Little Dipper”, she’s ashamed of herself. Her guilt is that she’s failing morally, that she hurts the people around her despite her good intentions.

Dipper admits, “Sometimes I use big words and don’t actually know what they mean. I mean, I’m supposed to be the smart guy! If I’m not the smart guy, then who am I?” He primarily thinks of his worth in terms of competence. Dipper is generally not that confident, at this point in time. He has an intense drive to prove his worth. He is acutely aware of his physical and social shortcomings. But the one thing he knows that he does well is analytical, deductive and strategic thinking, and so to always have value he’s built his entire identity around being particularly intelligent. He’s the planner, the mastermind, the guy with the specialized knowledge and important big words who people have no choice but to respect and listen to, because a lifetime of loneliness besides Mabel has taught him that given a choice, they probably won’t. Except just like Mabel’s all-loving attitude, there’s an element of performance. He doesn’t know everything; he’s inherently irrational to a degree like everyone else. So he tries to seem smarter than he is. His guilt is that he’s failing intellectually and practically, that he isn’t contributing enough to be worth something.

This is where Dipper diverges. He wants to be ethically good less than he wants to be good AT things, and respected for it. But they both beat themselves up when they don’t live up to their self-assigned archetypes of All-Loving Hero and The Smart Guy, when they aren’t good enough by their own unreasonably high standards.

"The Last Mabelcorn" deconstructs Mabel’s fixation on her moral perfection. Celestabellabethabelle, who I will henceforth call C-Beth for short, manipulates it to keep her out of the unicorns’ way. She makes manifest Mabel’s fear that she isn’t good enough no matter what she does. We see Mabel push herself further and further to try to prove herself, much like Dipper in episodes like “Dipper vs Manliness”, and emotionally unravel until she’s miserable, self-loathing and openly listing her vices in a way never seen before. But this isn’t productive! Wallowing in shame doesn’t motivate her to be better! She needs to learn that although she isn’t perfect, the virtues she has are good enough to work with to both get out and kick C-Beth out of her head. She decides to stop worrying about meeting an impossible ideal of goodness and just focus on doing good, by using efficient (if violent, and therefore immoral under certain paradigms) methods to protect her family. Her plot in this episode has its detractors and I understand the criticisms that the message wasn’t handled as well as it could have been. But I think it does okay. Mabel definitely reevaluates her need to feel like a good person here. She switches from prioritizing what’s important to her, the validation of being "pure of heart", to what’s important to others and in the bigger picture, simply getting the unicorn hair to keep Bill out of the Mystery Shack.

Finally, compare the twins’ disastrous errors in judgement in “Scary-Oke” and “Dipper and Mabel vs the Future”, when they both accidentally unleash terrible forces of evil upon the town and set in motion a local apocalypse.

Dipper recites an incantation from Journal 3 that causes the dead to rise as bloodthirsty zombies, desperate to prove to the government agents before they leave that the supernatural is real and warrants their help investigating, driven by both his desire for knowledge (his tool to feel secure in himself) and more immediately his fear of being dismissed as unworthy. He is emotionally vulnerable, but still creates the dangerous situation on his own initiative. Since he doesn’t need a blacklight to read the spell and the beginning of the episode established that he’s already familiar with all Journal 3’s visible entries, he knows what the spell would do. He doesn’t realize how many zombies will appear and how dangerous they’ll be. But he is aware that there are risks. Plus, the Shack is hosting a party full of innocent civilians and Mabel has explicitly asked him not to interfere with weirdness. The one thing she told him not to do that night was raise the dead! And what does he do? Raises the dead.

Mabel is actively deceived and manipulated into giving who she believes to be Blendin Blandin, an expert in time-altering technology, what she believes to be an item of such technology, with the intention of warping time to extend the summer for the town. This is a selfish choice. But on top of how emotionally compromised she is, sobbing in despair after “the worst day of [her] life”, consider her internal logic: the end of summer is going to mean the trials and tribulations of growing up for both her and Dipper, and they won’t even have each other if he gets his way; Wendy is already going through that and has told her how awful high school is; she overheard at least some of the Stans’ conversation at the end of “A Tale of Two Stans”, meaning she might know that Stan will have to give up his home and business once the summer is over; and she and Dipper both have true friends here who they will miss and be missed by, as opposed to their memories of Piedmont where we only see them supporting and comforting each other and never hear of any friends. And it isn’t like she’s the only one having fun! Stan is happier than ever, Ford is back home, Dipper’s come into his own more than she could ever have anticipated. He’ll still get to delve into the mysteries of this town that he loves so much. But she’ll be there too. If you want more Gravity Falls, you can see where she’s coming from. She genuinely thinks that “just a little more summer” would be a positive experience for everyone, with plenty of good reason. Yes, she’s recklessly messing with powerful forces that she doesn’t understand. Yes, she isn’t nearly as suspicious of this sudden miracle solution as she should be. But she has no evidence that this would harm anyone.

Their responses after making their mistake are also noteworthy. They’re both horrified and remorseful. But Dipper expresses no concern for the agents for the rest of the episode when it looks like they’ve been killed due to his actions. He even nonchalantly remarks that he thought they were dead when he sees them again. Mabel, however, reaches to stop Bill and begs him to “wait” before he knocks her unconscious. Then she’s imprisoned in Mabelland, which is designed to make her never want to leave and based on how it only occurs to her after she renounces it that the neon colours and repetitive background music are too much even for her, may additionally have a direct, if subtle, influence on her mind. So she’s a little distracted from her guilt. But by risking her life to fix the repercussions of her actions and save the town, she shows much more responsibility for the townspeople’s lives than Dipper showed for the agents he’d tried so hard to impress. He just happily went about his business for weeks believing he had two people’s deaths on his conscience. Never even looked into whether they survived.

These differences in their personal moral philosophies add another layer to the parallels between the two generations of Pines twins. Typically, Dipper parallels Ford and Mabel parallels Stan. But less so here! Like Mabel, Ford very staunchly believes in abstract moral theory, namely that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. He holds a grudge for weeks against Stan saving him from being lost in the dimensions through the portal, because it endangered the rest of the world by creating the Rift. It was a good deed with good intentions… but it didn’t only make life better for everyone. To Ford, that means it isn’t good enough. Hmm, which younger twin has a problem with judging anything short of ‘pure good’ to not be worthwhile? Also like Mabel, Ford’s self-righteousness is often hypocritical, considering his pride, selfishness and willingness to disregard the possible negative consequences of his actions, e.g. trusting Bill and building the portal in the first place.

Like Dipper, Stan is willing and ready to use underhanded methods to win against his enemies, to lie, cheat, steal and leverage assets he doesn’t really have the right to. He’s more inclined to be aggressive, spiteful and smug. As for holding grudges, even to an unreasonable extent, he personally despised a nine-year-old child even before he knew that the child was a bad person. He would absolutely summon Rumble McSkirmish to attack a rival for him. He prides himself on his cunning, another form of intelligence, and prioritises being good at what he does best over holding the moral high ground. He is shown to have lifelong insecurities about Ford being better than him in other fields (and thus explicitly valued more by their father); so his pragmatism is his way of trying to always be useful to the people he loves, and indeed a key way he shows them his love.

#gravity falls #mabel pines #dipper pines #pines twins #gravity falls analysis

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