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andivmg · 2 months

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speak up andi, I beg of you, you have been mistreated the most here, I know it took shubble a lot of courage but she has helped so many people

i want to start this off by saying it is not a competition and i do not want to compare my experience to anybody else’s. shubble is so fucking strong and i admire her and everyone else who has spoken up about experiencing abuse endlessly.

DISCLAIMER 1

this is way longer than i intended it to be. i did not plan to go into as much depth as i did but the words just kinda kept coming and i kept thinking that if someone else is in a similar situation to the one i was in, it would be good to point out even some of the smaller details so that they can see that these behaviors are not something to be overlooked and could be a symptom of a bigger issue… idk. i apologize for how lengthy and wordy this is but i hope it all makes sense somehow

DISCLAIMER 2

a lot of you know who one of my exes is and i am asking you to please not make this about him. i am simply sharing my experience with some of my past relationships in hopes that they help someone else. i beg of you, do not go on twitter making threads speculating on whatever because it’s just going to cause me a bunch of problems and i don’t want this to be brought to his attention. if you share my story, please do not do it with the intent of starting drama. if you share my story, focus on the behaviors i am talking about instead of trying to figure out if it’s about him.

DISCLAIMER 3

this goes without saying but i’ll put it here anyway: i will be talking about toxic relationships, mention of self harm, mention of sex, implied violence. if any of these topics are triggering to you please scroll away, protect yourself.

I have been in a lot of relationships, but there are 4 that i would truly identify as the ones who had the biggest impact on me. Two of those i would consider emotional mistreatment. I don’t want to say i was abused for reasons that i will be discussing with my therapist this week, but i can certainly say i was mistreated. For the sake of privacy, i will be referring to these two dudes as 1 and 6.

I think the biggest difference between 1 and 6 is that 6 was obsessed with me to the point where i felt like i was being suffocated, whereas i’m not sure if 1 ever cared about me in the first place.

6 and i started out pretty normally. we had a bunch of friends in common and we were around the same people. so eventually, we became friends too. we would text and call all the time until feelings developed into a relationship. in the beginning he was really sweet and caring, saying all the right things that got me falling head over heels. now, something important to note is that i am someone who has always had a lot of guy friends. when i was little and in school, my mom made friends with a bunch of other moms and those moms were boy moms, so i grew up surrounded by boys. i bring this up because 6 didn’t like my guy friends. actually, i think he just didn’t like the fact that i had guy friends at all. so, whenever i would hang out with my friends, it was a problem. so this resulted in me never being able to go out or hang out with my friends unless he was there. then it got worse. before we started dating he had decided to cut back on drinking and to stop smoking. so because of this, i decided that i wouldn’t drink or smoke around him in solidarity. this was not enough for him. i had to stop drinking and smoking altogether. so once, when i was hanging out with my girl friends we decided to stay in and get wine drunk. we posted about it on our private stories on snap and once he saw, 6 called me arguing and yelling at me because i was drinking and posting about it on my story for “attention”. after this incident, i was no longer allowed to hang out with my friends because they were a “bad influence”. he also didn’t like the clothes i wore. sorry, let me reiterate: he didn’t like my clothes when he wasn’t around. it was perfectly fine for me to wear a short dress… if i was with him. i was not allowed to wear “revealing” clothing if he wasn’t around. mind you, none of the clothes i wore were revealing, it’s not my fault i’m hot yk? he took over my life. who i talked to, what i did, what i wore, where i would go, it was all up to him. my life no longer belonged to me. and at the time, i was okay with that. i didn’t realize that he had so much control over everything. i was young and naïve and he convinced me that he knew what was best for me. that he had lived more than i had and experienced more than i had and that he knew better. he was so good at making everything my fault and making him the hero or victim depending on the situation. i got catcalled on the street? “because you were wearing that fucking dress again, andrea you know how that looks. of course you got catcalled. this is why you can’t wear things like that when i’m not around to protect you”. I decided to have a fun night in with my friends and get drunk? “i just don’t understand why you would be posting yourself on your private story like that. you’re drunk and vulnerable. why do you want other people, other guys, to see you like that? and you know i’ve cut back on drinking so how do you think it makes me feel to see that? don’t you love me enough to do this for me?” the worst part is i believed him. because, in the beginning, he helped me so much and i looked up to him so much, surely he had my best interests at heart, right? this relationship went on for way longer than it should have. you may be asking yourself, how did you leave? if you were so in love with him and entranced by him to the point where he consumed you, why did you leave? he raised his hand. that’s what got me to finally leave. a year after we broke up, i found out that he was drinking, smoking, and doing all kinds of shit he told me he wasn’t throughout our entire relationship. he was awful, and i’m really proud of myself for being strong enough to leave when i did. i’m also really grateful for my friends, who stuck out that whole train wreck with me. who i lashed out against in order to protect him and defend him. they stuck by me through it all and i don’t know where i would be without them so shoutout to them lmfao.

1 was a bit more complicated. it started out in a similar way. we had the same friends, hung out around the same people, so it was only a matter of time until we became friends too. we would call and text every day until feelings were developed. at least i developed feelings, i’m still not sure he did. i told him this and i don’t remember how the conversation went but basically we had decided that we were talking as more than friends now. enough time went by where i was ready for it to become a relationship and i communicated that to him. looking back, i think he felt pressured into the relationship by me and by our friends. anyway we started dating and everything was fine. we would hang out and talk all the time but i felt like he was bored or disinterested by me, so i would constantly beg for his attention. i became this needy clingy version of myself that i hated. it felt like when we would hang out, he was always distracted by something else. i basically felt invisible to him. that is, when i wasn’t hanging out with my guy friends. similarly to 6, 1 did not like my guy friends or the fact that i had guy friends in the first place. i had a guy best friend at the time who is one of the most amazing people i have ever met. let’s call him S. S and 1 were acquainted with each other, hung out in the same circles etc. but 1 still didn’t like him. sometimes, whenever 1 was busy doing whatever he did when he wasn’t with me, i would hang out with S, we would watch shows together and just talk. Some days, it felt like i talked to S more than my own boyfriend. this did not sit well with 1. he would ask “why the fuck are you always hanging out with him?” to which i would reply “maybe if you hung out with me more, i wouldn’t have so much free time to spend with him” (toxic ik but what can i say? i was feeling neglected). so you can see what problems this caused. eventually i cut S off. I stopped talking to him completely and i haven’t spoken to him since. Back to 1. even after cutting off my best friend, nothing really changed. He didn’t spend much time with me and whenever we would, i felt like he couldn’t wait to go off and do something else. this got exhausting. at that point i was begging him to love me, to pay attention to me, to care about me. this led to us breaking up. he broke up with me over text. it read, and i quote, “i think we aren’t meant for each other. i think you deserve someone that will treat you better than i do. I don’t think i’m in love with you and i tried to force myself to love you because i thought that’s what i wanted but i really don’t think it is. we started this relationship when i was just tired of being alone and i really just don’t think it is right anymore. i don’t think i am attracted to you. I am sorry, i really didn’t know how to end this and this probably isn’t the best way to do it but it’s time”. The relationship went on for another six months after this. granted, i should have had more self respect and never gotten back together with him but it is what it is. so after he told me that he didn’t love me and that he wasn’t attracted to me, we stayed “friends”. which basically meant that we did everything that a relationship involved. without actually being in a relationship. that is, until one of his friends hit me up. there was some flirtation going on but nothing serious. i was still in love with 1 but, at the time, i was in desperate need for attention and his buddy was there to provide it. when i told 1 about it he flipped out, called me all kinds of crazy and decided he was done with me. his friend and i talked about it and poked fun at the fact that he broke up with me but got mad at someone else paying attention to me. when 1 saw this (he ended up forcing me to show him the screenshots of the conversation) he was even more pissed and even more done with me. the next day he called me and we were basically back together again.

however, this time, i was meant to earn his affection. because i did something so unforgivable and atrocious, he was basically in the clear to treat me like shit. and he did. he would cancel plans to go hang out with his friends. he would only come over late at night, even when i had class the next day. i was basically at his mercy. we only hung out when he decided. we only spoke when he wanted to. i honestly can’t even recall us going on any date after that incident, save for one dinner. in short, i was not a priority to him. this, combined with some other stuff, really took at toll on my mental health. i entered a deep depression and began self-harming after being clean for 3 years. i sought out help and found a wonderful therapist who really helped me. but, 1 only saw this as one more problem. when we hung out he would complain that i was too sad. important note: because of that text he sent me i was incredibly insecure. so, little arguments would always end up escalating because i felt like he literally did not care about me and he would just keep making me feel like shit about being depressed. whenever we argued (which was very often) it would end in me locking myself in the bathroom, sobbing, nearly throwing up, while he was on his phone. i remember one specific argument started because he asked me if i would leave him for harry styles and i jokingly said yes (i am not and have never been attracted to harry styles). that argument escalated to the point where we almost broke up and he said to me “you should warn people before they fall in love with you that you are so mentally ill. because you’re always going to bring down the mental state of who you’re with”. he used my mental health against me like that a lot. whenever i would bring up something i wanted him to do or something that i didn’t like, he would call me needy, clingy, and say that he was trying his best but that i needed too much, that i was too much. all i wanted was reassurance. looking back, that’s all i ever asked for. whenever i would ask him if he loved me he would say “well i’m with you aren’t i?”. this is the same man who decided to go to vegas with his friends on my birthday after he promised he wouldn’t. this is the same man who said that he didn’t love me. the same one who said he wasn’t attracted to me. the same man who i would catch looking at other girl’s (some being his “friends”) provocative pictures on twitter. (this is definitely tmi so i’m just going to put a bunch of asterisks at the end of the tmi so you can skip there if you don’t want to read it) but there was a long period of time in our relationship where we had zero intimacy, and it wasn’t because of me. this fucked with my head a lot because i had this idea that because i was so emotional and needy that i could compensate physically. but when that stopped, my thoughts looked something like “the only thing i was useful for was sex and now he doesn’t even want that from me”.************whenever i remember this, a part of me thinks he might’ve been cheating on me during that time, but i have no proof so i guess we’ll never know. also during that time period, we were arguing over the same things over and over “it feels like you don’t love me” “but i’m hanging out with you” “that’s not the same as loving me” “you’re so fucking needy. and then you wonder why i don’t like coming over”. it was exhausting. we had the same friend group. and even our friends got so sick of us that they would tell me to break up with him. this went on for months until one day, on our one year anniversary, he told me that his plans for the day included playing video games. nothing else. that’s when i broke up with him. that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. i just couldn’t do it anymore.

we stayed friends afterwards in order to keep the peace within the friend group. after about a month, he told me he was going to do better. he said he was going to start going to the gym, and maybe even going to therapy, that he was going to eat better and live a better lifestyle for me. he said he was going to plan dates for us and treat me the way i deserved etc. very much vibes from that one euphoria scene. but i was done. maybe i didn’t communicate that well enough to him and that’s my fault. but i was really confused at the time and i didn’t know what i wanted. eventually we had a conversation and that’s when i told him that i was no longer interested in a relationship. i think i just didn’t believe him anymore. i didn’t believe that he would change for me or anyone else for that matter. through the entire relationship he was mean to me, he neglected me, belittled me, and overall made me feel like shit at worst and invisible at best. even when i would offer to plan things or suggest activities for us to do together, he would be disinterested the entire time or just cancel and make plans with his friends instead. and of course it was all my fault for one, flirting with his friend that one time, and two, just not being interesting enough. he made it feel like i wasn’t good enough, and at the same time victimized himself. he would tell me “nothing i do is ever good enough for you” while i was the one putting in all the effort in the relationship. then he would go “well why would i put in effort with you? remember when you were flirting with [redacted]? I still think about that and it fucks me up”. mind you, he would only bring this up whenever i brought up any concerns or issues. anyway, as you can tell it took me a really long time to realize that this relationship was toxic and unhealthy and i’m really proud of myself, again, for having the strength to leave and never look back. i think one of the reasons why it took me so long to realize that i was being mistreated was because everyone around him loved him. and to me it was hard to see how someone that was so well liked could be bad. so i felt like i was the problem. i felt like there was something wrong with me and if i just fixed that, then he would treat me better and love me and care about me. it took a lot of therapy to realize that he just wasn’t that into me. i was like a toy to him that he could just pay attention to when he was bored but ignore me the rest of the time. but then, when someone else showed interest in me he would suddenly care and be like “no she’s mine, you can’t have her”. he didn’t want me but he didn’t want anyone else to have me and that was the bottom line. that was the base off all the problems and toxicity that happened while we were together.

in conclusion, both of these men were awful in their own unique ways. i hope that by sharing this, someone who is in a similar situation will see it and identify these behaviors as something to watch out for. i hope that someone will see it and realize that they are not alone, and that they are not the first person to go through it, and that it gets better. these events all happened over two years ago and now i am in a beautiful and healthy relationship, i’m studying something that i am passionate about, and i am surrounded by people who love, care about, and support me. i am in a much happier place now and you will find that too, whoever you might be <3

#andianswers #i might’ve given myself a migraine with this one

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lume-nosity · 1 year

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‘i’ve got my eye on you.’

characters: xiao, kazuha, tighnari, cyno, heizou, albedo, wanderer/scaramouche, venti, gorou

style: fluff, but very fluffy & comfy

song inspo: yes to heaven by lana del ray

an: dear diary, tonight i’ve found out that i’m insane for writing all of the short men. or at least write them in a semi-acceptable way. AND I REACHED THE 10 LIMIT PICTURE BULLSHIT SO I HAD TO MESS UP MY USUAL FORMATTING MY APOLOGIES IF THINGS LOOK DISORGANIZED AAA

notes: not proofread, gender neutral reader, some crack, lowercase intended, most likely ooc in some parts, genuinely did not know what i was doing when i’ve written this, reader being a lil sassy in xiao’s portion, petnames: love, dearest, dove, muse, darling

xiao

“you could’ve gotten killed. why didn’t you call me sooner?”

“xiao, it was just a group of hilichurls.”

“it’s a group against one. they’d corner you and one of them will try to hurt you. the rest would follow suit.”

“well, what you said doesn’t matter anymore now that they’re all brutally slaughtered by you. they didn’t get the chance to do that.”

“…you really confuse me.”

xiao would lose it if someone or something laid one tiny little scratch on you. if it’s a serious injury bro will go ballistic.

if it’s a strong enemy, he’ll end their bloodline. if it’s a mere pigeon, get ready to have fowl for dinner.

him coming to you even though you didn’t call out his name was just pure coincidence.

he heard the sound of hilichurls so he followed the noises and there you were, getting surrounded by the hilichurls. his adrenaline kicked in.

he teleported to you and killed every single one of them swiftly.

he’s just worried about you, a little too worried for his own good. he can’t stand losing someone else, especially his partner.

so expect him to watch you from afar more often, to make sure you’re okay. he doesn’t have the intention of being creepy, he’s just your protector in the shadows.

he may not have experience in relationships, but he’s more than willing to learn by just being with you

kazuha

“my dove, you ought to be more mindful of your surroundings.”

“i know, i know, i was spacing out and i didn’t think i’d walk into someone. i was that clumsy.”

“it was just an accident, and i’m sure the recipient understands. it’s a common accident, so you don’t need to think about it often as it’ll be forgotten afterwards. now then, i believe it’s time you need some rest. allow me to carry you to our room.”

even though he acts so chill on the outside, deep down he’s actually more worried about you.

that someone you bumped into was actually a fatui agent.

you and kazuha were casually strolling the streets of liyue until you started spacing out and bumped into the fatui agent. effectively making you fall on your ass and a little dizzy from the impact.

the agent wasn’t too happy about it, so they tried to attack you. kazuha didn’t let that happen though, as he predicted that attack years ago and blocked them with his sword.

you heard weapons clashing for a few seconds until there was pure silence. you rubbed your eyes and looked up at a solemn-looking kazuha with his hand reaching out to you. (when you asked what happened he passed it off as nothing, he didn’t want to concern you)

kazuha kept note to always accompany you in your travels no matter where you choose to go.

tighnari

“you know you shouldn’t put your nose into things that are unfamiliar to you. especially items that may harm you. it astounds me how you’re this….”

“stupid? yeah”

“what? no, you’re not stupid.”

“then what?”

“you were unaware of the contents on the table and you’ve let your curiosity got the best of you. next time, let me know before you touch anything here, okay?”

tighnari would never and i mean never call you anything that would hurt you. sure, he can playfully tease you and be sassy with you, but not go as far to insult you. especially your knowledge.

he’s aware you’re smart in your own way, so he would never dream of insulting that. if someone were to insult you though, oh, he isn’t holding back.

about the item that you had the misfortune of peeking into, it was a sort of poison.

his ears flicker as he heard you coughing, and he rushes to you. dropping whatever he was doing at the moment to see you. it was a good thing he had an antidote on him for that poison, so he used it on you.

after you got back to your senses, he softly scolded you about ‘touching things that aren’t yours blah blah blah’

he didn’t leave your side that day and left his duties for collei to handle. nothing wrong with spending the rest of the day with your love, right?

cyno

“sorry you had to go out of your way to save me again…for the fifth time this week. it must be getting annoying.”

“no, it’s never annoying to protect someone you cherish. it doesn’t matter if the issue at hand was unimportant or severe. your safety is my priority. on the plus side, these eremites were the ones i was originally going after. so thanks to you, i can rest easy. now that you’re safe and the eremites had been dealt with.”

“hm, actually i was wondering, out of those five attempts, how do you always manage to find me in a pinch? it’s almost as if you always know whether or not i’m in trouble or something.”

“….i’m afraid that is a secret, my love.”

much like xiao, he too is a protector in the shadows.

every time he’a gotten word you’re taking a trip to the desert for errands or anything along those lines, he will watch you like a hawk

he just wants to be absolutely sure you’re safe, because you’re on the top of his list of priorities.

if by chance he sees you in trouble, he’ll quite literally pounce from the shadows to pursue justice on the perpetrators.

it’s a double win in his favor. (would most likely joke about that to you too)

heizou

“hey, are you alright?”

*you just waking up, regaining consciousness* “um, what happened?”

“oh, thank the archons, i thought you were a goner!”

“WHAT?”

“ah! right, let me explain. while we were out on a case to investigate on together, you got knocked out by some random treasurer! i for one am not in it for violence, but for your sake, i have beaten him up to a pulp and then called in someone to turn him in on our behalf. so now, you’ve just woken up.”

“….i did not understand a single thing you’ve just said.”

“hah, i believe it may be better that way.”

“why is that?”

“oh it’s nothing, it’s just a small occurrence that needed to be dealt with accordingly. anyways, now that you seem to be awake and well, shall we continue with our case, partner?

my boy got away with murder /j

yes, he doesn’t like to resort to violence unless it had to come down to that.

but then again, for you? he’d fight the world with his bear fists

you guys are like partners in crime, so yes he’d go batshit crazy and panic if something were to happen to his beloved partner

would back out on a case that’s assigned to you both if it’s deemed to dangerous for you

even if you insist it’s fine, he wouldn’t buy that. because he loves you and doesn’t want to see you get injured, much like that encounter

most definitely flirts with you and input some pickup lines he has saved in his noggin. this may be irrelevant to the topic, but he’ll do this just to hide his worry for you

albedo

“dearest, please don’t go running out in the cold again without having any winter-appropriate gear. i don’t wish to have you catching a cold.”

“bedo’, i’m alright! look, i’m feeling just fine!” (you sniff your nose)

“*sigh* come inside, i’ll cook you some warm soup.”

“what about that experiment you told me you were working on for the past few weeks?”

“that’s the least of my worries. right now, i’m more focused on your health. that i will prioritize first before my experiment.”

albedo is willing to pause his week-long experiment to look after you, what a lad.

would postpone it for as long as it takes for you to recover from your cold

he probably studies your face

it’s all for good intentions btw (for science)

gives you everything you need. more blankets? more soup? him?

oh yes he will definitely give himself to you (in terms of attention)

if he is needed for meetings or anything he’d have sucrose stand in for him, because he’d rather spend time on you than a meaningless meeting

wanderer/scaramouche

“did you just-“

“ended them? sure as hell did.”

“you know you didn’t have to resort to extreme measures, right.”

“they had the audacity to belittle you in front of me. so i returned the gesture, tenfold.”

“okay but-“

“stop complaining, idiot. i did you a favor. next time, if you happen to find yourself in a situation like that again which i am certain it’ll happen, you should take notes from me.”

“wow, thanks for the advice.”

“my pleasure.”

love this asshat.

despite that rough exterior of his, that’s just his way of caring for you

spare him, he’s trying

he’s doing everything he can to show you he loves you despite it being a little challenging because he’s never experienced anything that involves being very close to humans

all his life he’s been resentful towards humans, but you’re the only one that stayed by his side.

which earned you a soft spot from him yippee!

he doesn’t admit it though, but that doesn’t stop him from loving you

venti

“oh dear, you look a little worse for wear. say, have you finished yet another round of errands for people again?”

“venti, it’s normal for me. and it was only a few! you have nothing to worry about.” (passes out from exhaustion but venti catches you)

“ah, it’s usually me you need to carry around should i have a little too much to drink. but alas, it’s my turn to return the favor.”

(whispers and runs his fingers through the strands of your hair) “you should lay off on that habit of yours, my muse..”

yes i find it canon that you’ll always carry him around whenever he’s haggard

he’s definitely clingy, i know this has been said about him multiple times but it seems we all mutually agree on this statement

the type to play you calming melodies with his lyre as your resting face relaxes.

as you’re snoozing the night away, venti is right next to you, playing soft and soothing melodies on his lyre to sooth your slumber.

never leaves the room, holds your hand while you’re asleep. he doesn’t want to leave your touch for the night.

gorou

“gorou.. what’s going on?”

“good morning, my love! i know you’ve just woken up from a good sleep but you must stay put in your bed for the day, because you need more time to revitalize yourself.”

“okay..wait. what about our comrades? the battle!? how long was i got knocked out for!?

“ah!- darling, shh…don’t worry! we had to retreat because we were clearly outnumbered and i was the one that called it. because after you got knocked out, and how the odds were against us at the time, i didn’t want you to get harmed in such a vulnerable state.”

“awww so even though you always long for victory, you called it quits just for me?”

“um- that’s!- oh fine, i’ll admit it. i was very worried about you during that battle, so i had to drop everything to carry you to one of our emergency shelters we have. and for that.. i chose to stick with you until you regain consciousness. her excellency allowed me to stay by your side, so it’s fine.”

“that’s… really sweet of you, it almost brings a tear to my eye”

“oh nonono don’t cry!!”

gorou, much like the rest of the workaholic smartasses here, would drop everything to spend time with you should you feel under the weather.

during your recovery, he’ll let you pet his ears and tail if it’ll entertain you/make you feel better

hear me out. when he tries to look after you during the night you’re resting, he flat out passes out next to you because of his exhaustion with his duties

which you can hear him snoring lightly, so you opened your eyes a little and pet his head with a smile on your face

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moony-2001 · 5 months

Text

The real-world impact of Lore Olympus

i.e. do your research Rachel

Trigger warning: racism, fetishization, appropriation, mentions of SA

Long post ahead

A while ago, someone told me that Lore Olympus was just a silly little comic written out of boredom. That it was made to be "funny". They told me that "[I] can't hope [for] an extremely [well-written] story when it was just made with the intention to make something goofy" and that if Rachel actually wanted to make something serious like I had, she would write a book and not a comic.

At the time of this exchange, it was past 1 a.m. and I was exhausted. I did not want to argue with this person and it simply wasn't worth my time or energy in the moment.

But looking back at that (mostly one-sided) interaction, I can't help but think that there is so much wrong with that point of view. Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion about Lore Olympus, whether good or bad. But Lore Olympus isn't just some silly little nothing comic about nothing important. It is a comic that actively appropriates and erases Greek Culture. It is a comic that has no respect for the actual stories that have been passed down over thousands of years whether by word of mouth or written text. It is a comic that perpetuates a false narrative and harmful stereotypes about characters or certain groups of people. So, no, it's not just a silly little comic.

Incorrect information

Here’s an example of what I mean:

When I was doing research for my post about the 10 year time skip, I looked up Leuce to reconfirm the little information I knew about her. Wanna guess the first thing that popped up about her?

A Lore Olympus Wiki article.

Okay. How about Minthe? Hundreds of pictures of her from Lore Olympus and a LO Wiki article as one of the top 3 results. Both character are horribly represented in LO and unfortunately there isn’t really any documented stories or records that can refute how LO paints them. Because of this, other characters in Greek Mythology like Leuce and Minthe, whose stories have little to no documentation, stand to suffer the most harm from deliberate misrepresentation on Rachel’s part.

Of course well-known and better documented figures in Greek mythology face slander as well. What about Thetis or Leto? How about Apollo? All of their portrayals in LO are HORRIBLE. I have seen people online absolutely drag them to filth not because they're upset about how the character is portrayed compared to their mythological counterpart, but because they have no knowledge of how they are actually portrayed outside of LO. They just assume that's how the characters are. Similarly, people who have either very little or no prior knowledge of Greek Mythology and Culture would look at the comic and go "Yep, sounds legit. It must be true." and go about thinking that what is portrayed in LO is accurate to what was transcribed thousands of years ago.

Creative interpretations and racism/fetishization within LO

Don’t get me wrong. Creative interpretations and artistic liberties can be great. When they’re done tastefully. I personally think if done correctly, a Greek myth spun in a modern way has the potential be very good. But that's not what we were given.

Characters like Minthe, Leuce, and Thetis (all nymphs btw) are portrayed as trashy tramps who put out and are used as a foil sabotage Persephone and/or her relationship with Hades. Compare that to Greek Mythology where in the Iliad, Thetis is very well-respected by the gods, particularly Hera. Unfortunately, other similar characters like satrys (and basically any character that isn’t a god) are usually portrayed as a low-class POC that can be easily exploited, manipulated, or used as a temporary villain/lover/pawn to “get back” at Persephone, our white-coded protagonist who can do no wrong.

Additionally, there is a clear race/class bias against characters like nymphs in LO. We see many cases scattered throughout the comic of gods like Hera or Aphrodite referring to nymphs as "trash" or "low class" or the idea that nymphs do not belong with gods being heavily implied if not outright said. I cannot tell you how often I've seen Minthe be called some variant of "cheap" by the readers of LO. Even Persephone (who created the flower nymphs) treats them with such disrespect. She frequently calls them some variant of "stupid" or "simple" like saying how they're not the sharpest crayons in the box even though she's the one WHO MADE THEM. However, it's so odd not really to note that nymphs like Echo, Amphitrite, or Psyche (who was previously disguised as a nymph) are not discriminated against. This is because they are liked or trusted by the gods they are around and ergo are often portrayed as the "good ones", which is a disgusting mindset to have.

We also see the fetishization of nymphs in the comic that is disturbingly similar to the fetishization of women who are Black, Asian, or Latina. It is a known fact that Hades has a flower nymph fetish. Not only is this implied in the comic, but Rachel stated it outright in an old Patreon post. Nymphs are also generally treated as sex-symbols, disposable, and as a lesser-than. Zeus frequently displays this behavior by abandoning nymphs he knocked up in the mortal realm.

For example, when Persephone finds out Apollo is dating Daphne, she isn't upset he's dating her friend. She's upset he's dating a flower nymph, beings that are generally considered to be "rare", "dumb", and objects of sexual desire. Ew.

Even on the Lore Olympus website (loreolympians.com) nymphs are regarded as "beautiful", "desirable", and "very exotic". And when they're not described in a sexual manner they're say it with me now regarded as "low class" or "workers" for some kind of god/goddess.

Final thoughts

So not only is the characterization of characters like Minthe or Thetis harmful to Greek culture and the stories that are so ingrained in their society, but it is also perpetuating harmful stereotypes about people of color and women who are confident in their sexuality.

Of course, the characters within Greek Mythology had their own issues. Zeus was a serial rapist, many of the goddesses deemed to be "feminist" by today's standards were actually horribly misogynistic looking at you Athena. But 1. that's just how things were back then (but that does not make it right) and 2. all of the good, the bad, and the ugly is still there in Greek Mythology. They're not denying how fucked up it is, but they're also not changing their history to better fit their own narrative or the narrative of the modern world. It exists, it happened, but now it is studied and called out by historians.

Rachel, on the other hand, is doing exactly that. She is actively changing the Greek's cultural history to better fit her fic's narrative. She is constantly sweeping things under the rug or going "No this is how it ACTUALLY happened". Lore Olympus is marketed as a "feminist retelling" yet somehow, it takes allllll the ugly parts from Greek Mythology (rape, incest, problematic age gaps, dubious consent, etc.), mixes it with a majority of the issues we have in the modern world (white feminism, rape-apologists/rape culture, grooming, fetishization of certain minority groups, etc.) and then amplifies the concoction to 20. Lore Olympus cannot be a "progressive, feminist, retelling" and also have characters that are morally apprehensive/come straight from the ancient myths. It does not work. In fact, IMO it makes all the problems from both eras worse.

News flash: actual cultures that are still thriving today are not your toys. They are not "made up". They matter. Do better.

#anti lore olympus #lore olympus #anti lo persephone #anti lo #lore olympus criticism #lore olympus critical #lo critic #lo critical #unpopular lo #unpopular lore olympus #appropriation #greek mythology #if anyone who is actually Greek wants to comment on this or share their thoughts please feel free #I'm not Greek but I have a deep love for mythology/Greek culture so this is just my take on things

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firein-thesky · 15 days

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Why is it that dc such as r@pe, sa, and incest is totally okay to write about and romanticize but y’all draw the line at racism, fat phobia, and homophobia *talking about the writings creators make, not personal beliefs*? Whats the difference between these things? All of them are hurtful and affect people in real life, so why is everybody on here choosing and picking one and not the other? Do writers on here think that they are not comparable or that one is okay to romanticize and the other is going way too far?

Im just genuinely curious as I have seen this topic be brought up again and again, which has made me realize this and Id like to see it from someone else's pov.

hi! there is a lot to answer and unpack here and i have every intention of doing so underneath the cut. forgive me if this gets long, but you’ve asked me 4 very massive questions that i think warrant detail, nuance, and thought. there is a lot i’d like to say here.

that being said, mind the content warnings and protect yourself.

cw: mentions of rape, incest, racism, homophobia, fat phobia, discourse in general

firstly, i am going to choose to give you the benefit of the doubt in assuming you are actually curious in hearing another side and you are not simply looking to stir a pot or pick a fight with beliefs you have no intention of changing or having an open discussion on. your accusatory tone in the first half indicates otherwise and kindly, i am not an idiot. but i want to earnestly talk to you about this and again, will think better of you than you perhaps have indicated you think of me.

secondly, you do not have to censor words like rape in my inbox. that sort of censorship has become wildly popular because of tik tok and other money-hungry social media that also desperately want to silence people. do you know why you have to censor words like that on tik tok? or words like genocide? suicide? racism? 1. so that they can make money and market and push their squeaky clean algorithms but 2. and perhaps worse, so they can silence victims. if social media platforms and capitalism and the systems of powers had it their way, you would never utter these words again—whether to call someone out for justice or to have an open discussion like this one. i encourage you greatly to think critically about this and how you choose to use censorship and why.

now, to your questions.

to preface, i am interpreting this ask as being anti-dark content in fiction as you state that ALL these subjects harm people in real life. or at least, you are being critical of all dark content in fiction and the way writers engage with them, effectively ‘picking and choosing’ which are deemed acceptable and which aren’t, when they are all hurtful. i apologize if that wasn’t your intention/what you believe, but regardless, i’ll endeavor to answer you.

i personally have drawn no lines about dark content nor spoken about any of these topics specifically really, which indicates to me you have a different narrative and/or are coming from more inflammatory arguments that are always circling fandom lately. in the post i most recently reblogged, i spoke mostly of violence. which, of course, all of those things can be. but i didn’t name one of those topics in particular.

regardless, i don’t believe in the censorship of any dark content in art, but rather advocate strongly for critical analysis on a case-by-case basis. in general, i encourage thinking critically about every aspect of the world around you.

i do not believe that rape, incest, and sa are okay to write about or create art about but racism, homophobia, and fat phobia are not. i believe all of those topics are ones that can, should, and will be explored in the safety of art. all to varying degrees of success, earnestness, impact, and intent. you’re right that these are real things, that can hurt people, and the fictional work about them can have impact on our society that is tangible but the actual art or fiction created is not real. and again, this is all to varying degrees on a case-by-case basis.

art and fiction also historically and massively do discuss these dark content topics and have actively swayed the public’s opinion on matters, whether for better or for worse. throwing away all dark content in art and fiction because it is ‘harmful’ is deeply, deeply dangerous and reductive. a lot of art that engages with dark content actually makes very succinct points about it—i think of vladimir nabokov’s lolita or octavia butler’s bloodchild or speak by laurie halse anderson.

this is where we must exorcise critical thinking. some pieces of work will handle dark content poorly—white saviors making art on racism. men making art about a woman’s experiences that (as you are so interested in) romanticize her pain. etc. etc. and some art will handle it’s dark content incredibly and be transformative, perhaps even revolutionary in how we talk, perceive, or acknowledge systems of oppression, violence, and dark content in this world. some dark content in fiction will have damaging beliefs and effects on society, some will not—we must also look at scope for this, at the writer perhaps, the historical moment, their audience etc.

(for example, there is a significant difference in a main stream male writer, writing of a woman’s experience with rape in a published book in a way that makes it sound romanticized, sold to thousands and thousands of general public vs. a woman using fanfic to explore rape, take control of it, or whatever in a fanfic for a small online community where there are warnings on it. indicating she is aware of its potential damage in a way her male counterpart is not…)

but i still believe in dark contents’ existence in art. of course there is differences between all of these topics you brought up, but i don’t think their differences matter in this answer. i believe in their right to be explored in art. i am talking broadly of media/art here, which i think is the more relevant conversation, but i think you are actually more interested in a much smaller scale of people. ie. fandom. ie. mostly marginalized people in small communities online writing and creating dark content.

people will choose and pick which ones they’d like to create art over and which ones they don’t, which ones they read and which ones they don’t. there’s no ‘hard line’ drawn anywhere. and i can’t control it and neither can you. perhaps you think violence is okay to be explored in fanfic, but racism isn’t. someone else will have different preferences. i do not believe in its censorship.

now, let’s move onto your interest in romanticization and what i think you are more pointing to, which is fandom. you are specifically referring to people in fandom who write about rape, incest, etc. and ‘romanticize’ it—ie. they write about it in a way that is a fantasy. it is perhaps supposed to be horny or sexy. so let’s talk about it.

i must remind you that these topics you’ve brought up (rape, incest, sa) being written are fiction and it is (most often) done by someone marginalized who has either experienced this or is in threat of experiencing this under a patriarchy. i assure you, they are aware of its harm. hence the copious warnings in fandom spaces.

if i can be candid, sometimes i think that people forget how systems of oppression work when discussing fandom and whether dark content being created should be allowed or not.

for example, i sometimes think people who are anti-dark content in fandom believe that a woman or afab person writing a fictional fanfic about rape or sexual violence then influences people to go out and rape people or that women actually like it. when the reality, in fandom spaces, is that rape and sexual violence happen frequently under the patriarchy and then these women in fandom write fictional fanfic in response to cope, explore, take control of, etc. etc.

to insinuate that women or afab people (which fandom mostly is) exploring dark content safely in fiction then causes their own oppression and harm or trauma is rather victim-blame-y to me. fandom exploring dark content does not cause these things to happen in our society….these actions (rape, incest, sa) happen in our society or systems of power and fandom reacts to them in their art by exploring it in dark content. do you understand what i’m trying to say?

it’s not a matter of what is ‘okay’ to romanticize and what isn’t. i do not think the romanticization that fandom does with dark content (ie. my kidnapper actually loves me! or this sexual act that i did not consent to…maybe feels good) is not actually romanticizing but coping because of the systems of power that i described above. and this can be coping with anything—shame of sexuality, shame of fantasies, trauma, fear, etc. etc.

as i said in my tags in that post i reblogged and as plato said, dark content in art is a safe place to explore what would otherwise be harmful and dangerous in real life. it is cathartic. potentially even, a purging.

and even if it isn’t all that—maybe it just is trashy fantasy. it is still playing pretend. it is still fiction and in fandom spaces, it is still most likely being created by a marginalized person. and again, even if it isn’t, we don’t get to censor it. we can be critical of it or wary or whatever, but to censor it, is a slippery, slippery slope. do deem some topics as “acceptable” and others as “unacceptable” is dangerous.

just like kids play pretend where they ‘fight’ or ‘kill’ or ‘kidnap’ or ‘shoot’ each other in games of cops and robbers or heroes and villains, they are safely exploring adventure, dark content, fantasy, tragedy, and higher emotions. adults can do the same in fiction and with adult topics like sex.

and at the end of the day, we don’t get to demand the credentials to do so either. we don’t get to censor them or control them and nor should we be allowed to. i cannot stress enough that i encourage you to be critical of censorship or the absolute disgust in dark content and at those (again—often marginalized people) who engage with it in fandom. i believe it is deeply puritanical, conservative, and dangerous.

you don’t have to like dark content or consume it at all and fandom makes it easy not to with all the warnings and tags, but you cannot control others or police them. nor should you want to.

and at the end of the day, i have some questions for you. you don’t have to respond to this, perhaps they’re just things to think about. what is the end goal here? what is the point in harassing, shaming, attacking, criticizing, or interrogating people in fandom spaces who create or support dark content? do you believe that if it is purged from fandom, it will be purged from our society? if you want it purged from society—shouldn’t you start there rather than in the inbox of marginalized writers in fandom? people in fandom did not create rape, incest, and sa nor do they in their exploration of fiction…they are merely reacting to a world that did create it.

i hope at no point i came off as rude to you, as was not my intention. i intended to stand up for myself and respectfully state my opinions and thoughts on this matter. i’m sorry it got long, but also i don’t believe in being brief on such complex matters. i am a writer who engages critically with the world around me and sometimes, things cannot be made into short, snappy answers. sometimes, we must unpack.

genuinely wishing you well.

#i cannot guarantee that i’ll have the time patience or energy to answer every ask like the one above in such detail #going forward #but i do support open discussions and i wanted to be kind to this anon #these are just my 2 cents on all of this #cw: rape #cw: incest #cw: racism #cw: fat phobia #cw: homophobia #discourse

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wen-kexing-apologist · 27 days

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Unknown Ep 7 Brain Rot Moments

First of all, this show is incredible.

Second of all, I haven’t stopped thinking about certain parts of this episode and that means I want to write about them. But I have absolutely no idea what there is to say besides “!!!!!!”

So I guess here are the small movements of the episode I cannot get over:

The way Qian’s hand hits the couch and bounces on to his lap when San Pang asks him if he has feelings for Yuan. And I honestly can’t tell how much of what I love about it comes from the motion itself, this loss of strength that drops his arm limp beside him when faced with such a question, or if it is the sound of his hand hitting the couch that really sells it for me. The sound when Qian’s hand hits the couch is short and sharp and for some reason that noise feels like an answer to me. Especially because it is followed by silence from Qian. For me, Qian’s hand hitting the couch is his admission.

I don’t think this line was an intentional call back to last week’s episode and it certainly isn’t structured for peak emotional impact, but that does not mean that hearing San Pang tell Qian to stand straight didn’t immediately give me war flashbacks to Qian telling Yuan to stand straight in the midst of Yuan’s confession in Episode 6

Just so many parts of the phone call, probably like all of the phone call scene is just gonna be burnt in to my skull for a considerable time, but especially the way Chris is so legible in expressing Qian’s hesitation, and the way that Kurt is so legible in expressing Yuan’s desperation. I loved the initial panic of Qian feeling the weight of what he was about to do and trying to bail out, the way that Yuan immediately calls him back because he is not going to let this opportunity sneak past, the way that Qian is breathing, how tense he is, how much he has to breathe to steady himself, to mentally prepare to answer the phone and have this conversation.

gifs by @ueasking

How tiny Yuan’s voice is, contrasted with how big his eyes are when he says hello because he can’t believe that this is actually happening.

How awkward Qian is here, this may perhaps be the most awkward I have seen Qian act. There is so much uncertainty in this conversation with him, the way he has to pull the “how have you been?” question out of his own head, the way he chews his lip as he listens to Yuan’s life updates.

The way Yuan’s lower jaw moves when he is desperately trying to find other topics of conversation, other questions he can ask Qian to keep this conversation going longer. The way that his silence goes on just long enough for Qian to get the “anything else?” question out. The way his jaw moves and his eyes widen and he leans forward when Qian says “bye bye.” It’s exactly the type of reaction I would see from someone trying to physically reach out to someone that is just beyond their grasp. He can’t yell wait to a dial tone.

gif by @ueasking

The way Qian starts to notice Yuan. He fully has not see his face at this point, he hasn’t heard his voice, or his name. But he is staring at Yuan’s shoes with his mouth slightly agape, because he recognizes them.

The way his eyes eventually work their way up in his disbelief, to look at Yuan’s head. The way that he immediately reaches out to Yuan, puts his hand on Yuan’s shoulder. It makes me think about how much Qian wants to, needs to be connected to Yuan. Because the time between when he figures out who is standing in front of him and placing a hand on his shoulder is near instantaneous.

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Following that, the way Yuan slides Qian’s hand off of his shoulder when he is talking with the businessmen. I do not know what it is about that moment, but considering the preview for Episode 8, it feels very in keeping with a character that is playing hard to get. Even if that isn’t the case here, in front of all of these coworkers is definitely not the place for intimate touching between brothers.

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

I am also thinking about how that does not dissuade Qian, who then reaches straight for Yuan’s neck. Something tells me these side of the neck/side of the face touches are not platonic or brotherly… but I regardless I appreciate the way that Unknown affirms Qian’s reciprocated feelings for Yuan by having him be the one initiating a lot of physical contact after barely being around much less touching people. I think the only time we see Qian initiate physical contact before Yuan’s return is when he grabs San Pang’s arm to stop him from contacting Yuan.

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

The way that Yuan cares for Qian once they are in the taxi and heading home, the gentle removal of Qian’s glasses, tucking Qian’s tie in to his left pocket, right over his heart. The way that the tie sticks up just a bit so you can see a piece of Qian poking through

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

The way Qian does not resist at all when Yuan reaches over and slips his arm behind Qian’s neck. The way that Qian lets himself slide further and further until his head is resting against Yuan’s shoulder. Yuan did not pull Qian down, Yuan didn’t push, Qian fully moved THE WAY YUAN RUBS HIS THUMB AGAINST QIAN’S UPPER ARM.

gif by @aejeonghae

The way Yuan breathes in this scene to regulate himself because a lot has just happened, because Qian is Right There, because Qian reached out, because Qian is touching him, because he is back home after four years with a lot of uncertainty hanging in the air.

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

I don’t know about anyone else, but I will be thinking about Yuan putting his hand around Qian’s waist as Qian walks towards the bed. This is an entirely unnecessary action from a movement standpoint as in Qian is able to walk on his own, and Yuan slides this hand to settle at Qian’s waist as they walk, so he isn’t using it as a way to support or steer Qian. That feels like a stolen moment for Yuan, and opportunity for him to hold Qian in ways he has wanted to.

The massage Qian is getting from both Lili and Yuan, this is such an interesting moment for me because it places Yuan’s action here firmly in the familial, siblings category since he and Lili are performing the exact same action. And not only that but they are bickering like siblings do while they massage Qian’s shoulders. Unknown does not and will not stop reminding its audience what this story is about, who this romance is between. Yuan being adopted, Yuan being sent away for four years does not make Yuan any less of a brother to Qian or Lili. They did this earlier in the taxi too, Yuan tells the businessmen that Qian is his brother, Qian tells the businessmen Yuan is his little brother. The time and the distance has not changed how they view each other, they do not lie about the nature of their relationship to one another. There is no fresh start here.

THE EYEBROW QUIRK. GOD I THINK THIS IS MY FAVORITE MOMENT OF THE EPISODE. I literally cannot even explain why, I could not tell you what Qian is reacting to here. Personally I think it is an attraction to Yuan thing, that it’s as much of an admission of his feelings for Yuan as the sound of his hand hitting the couch was.

This tired, but genuinely happy smile, dimple and all, hearing Lili and Yuan bickering in the hallway. Yuan and Lili are here. Yuan and Lili are being ridiculous. Yuan and Lili have fallen right back in to their dynamic despite the time apart. Everything is as it should be. Yuan is here. Everything is going to change. Yuan is here. Yuan is here. Yuan is here.

gif by @ueasking

I have said it before and I will say it again that I am not a fan of incest plotlines, I especially have a lot of qualms around romantic and sexual relationships between adoptive siblings, partially because I think it undercuts the fact that they are family. It bothered me in The Fosters, it overwhelmingly bothers me in Umbrella Academy, it bothers me when “we may actually be related” plotlines are added to things (looking at you Shadowhunters series). I recognize a pattern with the ones that I hate being all heterosexual relationships, and I think some of that hatred stems from the fact that a lot of these plots exist because there aren’t enough women in those stories.

I find it interesting that I had no problems with Ai Di and Chen Yi in Kiseki: Dear to Me because we never see them being raised together and thus there is a massive separation. And I currently don’t have any problems with Qian and Yuan inevitably getting together, for precisely the opposite reason. Unknown has really put the time and effort into showing the dynamics, into building the childhood, in to seeing where these characters came from, into turning these characters into siblings. Yuan understands from the beginning why he should not confess to Qian. Qian reacts to Yuan’s confession in a way I think is realistic. They have four years of no contact, they have four years to reflect on what happened that day, how they feel about each other. They have four years to see what life is like without the other person there, if they can survive it. And Qian cannot.

But Unknown is not going to let us forget that these are brothers. San Pang knows it is wrong but doesn’t have the words to express it. His aparpent relationship to Lili will serve as an interesting parallel to Qian and Yuan’s relationship because San Pang considers them all family, considers Qian his brother, and yet here he is dating a member of that family. Idk I guess I just feel like they are handling the contents of this show very well, and I am going feral for the physicality of these actors.

#unknown #unknown the series #unknown the series meta #unknown the series analysis #taiwanese bl

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etherealnoir · 16 days

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Slight Monkey Man Spoilers below

There was a point in the movie where you could just tell how angry The Kid was. And I feel like, in any other movie, the lesson would be “don’t let anger drive you.” Which is a boring and exhausting lesson, because anger can fuel righteous actions. But I think the main difference between The Kid pre-hijra and post-hijra is that his initial anger was largely for himself, then it grew into anger about the world around him.

While he was fueled by vengeance in the beginning, by the end he recognized that doing what he needed to do would have a much greater impact than he really understood at first. His fighting style was cleaner and more precise, and he was certainly more intent on killing than just getting people out of the way like before.

That’s also reflected in how he initially saw the Chief of Police as the big fish, but then the target shifted when he realized the Chief was just one part of a much larger problem.

At the end, I was a little worried that they’d pull the “killing you wont solve the problem” card. I thought they’d have him walk away only to have the final character die some other way.

I was pleasantly surprised that his death was not only brutal, but it was also angry as fuck. And I wonder if there was symbolism in killing a religious extremist by stabbing him through the forehead.

#monkey man #monkey man 2024 #dev Patel

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leejihoonownsmyheart · 1 year

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Desired Intentions (M)

Part four of the Pathetic series

Title: Desired Intentions

Summary:

Ironically enough after Jeonghan tells you that you can’t come over the next day you can’t stop thinking about him and it leads you to do to things that you wouldn’t normally do. But then again Jeonghan always ends up getting you to do things that you wouldn’t normally do without a second thought.

Tags: 13k words, dub con for safety reasons, Porn with Plot, frat boy!Jeonghan, college student!y/n, best friend!Jeongyeon, soft!dom to hard!dom Jeonghan, mean!Jeonghan (and y/n loves it), submissive!y/n, female!y/n (sorry gender-neutral friends), heavy degradation, a lot of impact play in this one, masochist!y/n, sadist!Jeonghan, pain kink, vaginal fingering, creampie, Public play for sure, little bit of cumplay, Jeonghan kinda loses his aftercare crown in this one but still tries

The next day you were itching to see Jeonghan, because of course that was the day that your body would be absolutely desperate for his touch. You looked over at Jeongyeon who was staring at her phone, a troubled expression on her face.

“I know you’re stressed out about meeting with Jimin-”

“If you’re about to offer any conversation topic other than him I welcome it with open ears,” she said looking up from her phone. She hadn’t messaged Jimin yet to ask him to meet up but… She was planning on doing it soon.

“It’s about Jeonghan,” you responded with a sigh. “I…” You cleared your throat. “Really want to see him today but he told me he’s going to see Chaedom today.”

“Chaedom?” Jeongyeon asked, her eyebrows furrowing. You rested your cheek on your hand, staring blankly at the table.

“Some girl who is trying to sleep with him, but I don’t think they’ve done anything yet,” you explained. “He specifically told me not to come over but that just made me want to see him more.”

Jeongyeon snickered.

“Of course, it did,” she replied.

“It’s not like I thought that I would get to see Jeonghan everyday or anything,” you replied. You groaned and shuffled your feet. “Why do I want to see him today so badly?”

“Because it’s Jeonghan,” Jeongyeon replied. “Of course, you want to see him.”

You grumbled at her words, which made her laugh.

“Look, if you want to see him so badly just tell him that.”

“Clearly you don’t understand our dynamic,” you said. “I’m his…” Your voice lowered. “Fuck toy. I don’t make the call on when I see him.”

Jeongyeon shrugged.

“Yeah, you’re right,” she agreed. “I don’t get your dynamic. If he likes fucking you so much more than other people then why would he sleep with Chaedom today?”

You shrugged.

“I don’t know. Aren’t guys just like that? Always thinking with their dicks. Maybe today Chaedom was just more convenient.”

You glanced back up at Jeongyeon who was now looking at her phone.

“Yeah, you’ve got a point.” She sighed. “Guys will be guys.”

“Guys will be guys,” you echoed. “I wouldn’t even care if it wasn’t stupid Chaedom. Why does he have to be fucking the one girl who I don’t want him fucking?”

“Isn’t that how guys always are?” Jeongyeon commented. You hummed, deciding that you didn’t really want to talk about it anymore. You and Jeongyeon were silent for a few seconds before she sighed. “Still, I don’t see why you shouldn’t at least try to get Jeonghan to see you today. What’s the worst that could happen?”

What was the worst that could happen?

Thanks to Jeongyeon’s little comment that was all you could think for the next hour. What was the worst that could happen if you just sent Jeonghan a text message? Asked him if you could come over instead of Chaedom…

Was that jealous behavior?

You weren’t jealous, you didn’t want him to think you were jealous.

Your mind raced. What would you even say to him if you did reach out? A simple text wouldn’t be enough to convince him to let you come over.

What if…

You awkwardly set up your phone camera in front of you. You hit the red circle to start recording and looked at yourself in the phone screen, somewhat nervously.

“I don’t film videos of myself like this,” you mumbled, settling back so that your body was fully in the frame. “But I just want you to remember what you’re not using, while you are using Chaedom.”

As you spoke you slowly lifted your shirt over your head, revealing the lacy bra that you had decided to wear that day. You spread your legs a little, brushing up the skirt you were wearing so that he could see your panties. You ran your fingers over your pussy lightly, feeling the dampness through the cloth.

“Can you see through this how wet I am?” You asked softly, your face burning hotter every second that got added to the time on the video. Your fingers hooked around the hem of your panties and you slid them down, a string of wetness connecting your soaked pussy to your panties. You let a pathetic sound leave your lips.

“I haven’t even touched myself today Jeonghan, I’ve just been thinking about you. All day, I’ve been so wet and ready to be used…”

You set aside your wet panties and ran your fingers through your folds.

“Oh fuck, what do I do?” You whined. “I can’t play with myself without your permission, now, can I?”

You pushed two fingers into your body and then after only a second pulled your fingers out. They were dripping from arousal, and you spread your fingers just so the camera could see just how wet you were. You raised your fingers to your mouth, taking your time licking and sucking your fingers clean.

You felt embarrassed.

You felt stupid.

You let stupid moans and whines leave your lips that you were sure sounded like they belonged in a porn video… You sighed, letting your hand fall to your side.

“Jeonghan, play with your toy,” you whined. Your saliva damp hand fell to your side, and your other hand covered your burning face. You groaned loudly. “This is so stupid.”

You crawled over to your phone and stopped the recording, picking your phone up and looking at the frozen image of you staring at the camera. The image from before you had really started. You were stupid to think that filming this video was even a good idea.

It reeked of desperation. You didn’t want him to think you were no better than Chaedom.

You weren’t going to send the video.

Just as you went to click the yellow done button at the top of the screen, Jeongyeon knocked on your door. Your finger slid down your phone and you turned to look at it.

“I’m busy right now,” you called over to her.

“Just wanted to know if you wanted dinner.”

“Maybe…” You mumbled. “I’ll think about it.”

“Okay,” Jeongyeon called back. You hummed, and looked back down at your phone, ready now to turn it off of your text conversation with Jeonghan before you did something stupid, and your breath left your lungs.

“Shit,” you hissed.

You weren’t sure how, but suddenly you were not looking at a video that needed to be deleted, but a video that had already been sent.

You squealed tossing your phone away from you, covering your hands with your face.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” you mumbled to yourself, staring at it like it was going to jump out and attack you at any moment.

Your mind raced trying to find a solution.

Delete it.

Yes! That was right, with the new phone update you could probably delete it!

You crawled over to your phone and grabbed it. You lifted your phone to undo the send but what you found just under the video in small text was now much more terrifying.

Read.

You screamed again, tossing your phone away like it had stung you.

“Hey, are you okay?” Jeongyeon’s voice came.

“Fine, I’m fine!” You called out. You waited a few seconds for Jeongyeon to say something, and when she didn’t you just turned your attention back to your phone. You stared at it, terrified of what it might do.

Maybe Jeonghan wouldn’t-

The phone vibrated and you screamed again.

You covered your mouth with your hand, took a deep breath: “Sorry Jeongyeon I promise I’m fine.” And then, with shaking hands crawled over to your phone, picking it up once again.

Now there was a text from Jeonghan: Come over.

As you stared at the screen another text came through.

Now.

You didn’t knock this time. You just pushed into the frat house and rushed through the hallway and up to Jeonghan’s room. You pressed your lips together when you skidded to a stop in front of his closed room door. Your mind raced. It was pretty late, surely Chaedom had been here already.

Would she still be here? He never kicked you out after sex, so surely, he wouldn’t to her either. But still, if she was still here, what would-

Jeonghan’s door cracked open, and you felt a hand grab your wrist as you were dragged into Jeonghan’s room, the door slammed shut behind you. You were roughly pushed against the wall of Jeonghan’s bedroom.

“Hold your hands in front of you.”

Jeonghan’s voice was deep, it didn’t necessarily sound like he had just had sex with someone else. He looked clean. He didn’t look like he had just had sex with someone else either.

Jeonghan slapped you. You gasped in surprise, but immediately realized what had earned you the hit. You raised your hands in front of you.

“Sorry, I’m sorry.”

Jeonghan ignored your apology.

“Clasp your fingers together.”

You did.

“And raise your fingers on your left hand.”

Again, you did, and Jeonghan intertwined his fingers with yours and forced your hands up over your head. You gasped again, Jeonghan’s nose literally brushing against yours.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Jeonghan asked. “What the hell possessed you to send me that fucking video?”

“I-I,” you struggled to find your words. “I just… I was so n-needy.”

“Damn right you were fucking needy,” Jeonghan snapped. He used his free hand to roughly push beneath the band of your skirt, his fingers making their way immediately into your underwear. He cursed when his fingers met what he had already known was there.

“You’re shameless, aren’t you?” He asked. “I told you not to come over today.”

“But then you told me to come!” You protested.

“Because you couldn’t help but be a little slut and send me that video. You knew I wouldn’t be able to watch that video and then not fuck you.”

As Jeonghan spoke you couldn’t help the way that you stared at him. His lips weren’t red or puffy as if he had been kissing other people. He didn’t look like he had freshly showered, or like he had any hickey’s or anything on his neck-

“Do you even care?” Jeonghan snapped. Your eyes forced themselves back to him. “You’re so busy staring at me, it’s like you don’t even understand just how bad you’ve been.”

Your face blazed.

“I-”

“I said that I was seeing Chaedom tonight. You’re lucky that she had just left-”

“Did you two-” You stopped yourself before you could finish what you were going to ask, but the beginning of the sentence was much too telling. Jeonghan’s eyes narrowed at you.

“I thought you weren’t jealous, hm?” Jeonghan stated, his voice deep and quiet. His head dipped down to your neck, pressing a soft kiss there. “You don’t care that I sleep with other people…”

His teeth bit down on your neck and a mix of a whine, and a moan left your lips.

“It just had to be fucking Chaedom,” you grumbled.

Jeonghan’s eyes shot back up to you and he grabbed your face with his free hand. His grip was tight on you, and he forced you to look him dead in the eyes.

“You don’t get to choose who I sleep with,” Jeonghan said, his voice stern. “Do you understand that?”

God, this shouldn’t turn you on so badly. You should be upset that Jeonghan was sleeping with other people and not just you, but you couldn’t shake the thrill.

Even though he had been with Chaedom earlier. He was with you now.

You nodded.

“I understand.”

Jeonghan’s eyes narrowed as he looked at you, his grip still tight on your face.

“No, you don’t.” His eyes searched yours. “I shouldn’t have humored you should I have? You’re going to think you’re something special.”

Your eyes flickered away from his. Fuck, it was like he had seen right through you.

“I don’t think I’m special, I-”

Jeonghan’s head dipped to your neck. He was silent, but his silence is what had shocked you the most. His hand was still holding your arms above your head. You couldn’t move if you wanted to. You were unsure if you should speak, so you just settled on keeping the silence between the two of you.

You could almost swear that you could feel Jeonghan smile against your neck.

His hand that was pressing you up against the wall let go of you entirely, and he stepped away from you. He didn’t have to tell you to keep your hands in the air. You just watched him, chest heaving, heart racing as he began to slowly take his clothes off. First, his shirt- tossed to the side, then his pants, his boxers-

Your eyes flickered to his cock, your mouth watering a bit. You heard Jeonghan scoff.

“You fucking-”

Jeonghan walked back up to you, his fingers dipping into your pussy immediately.

“You think you can handle my cock?”

You nodded.

“Y-Yes,” you replied. Jeonghan barely hesitated for a second. He pulled your underwear down your legs, allowing you only seconds to toe them off before he was hiking your legs up by your thighs and sliding his cock into you.

He groaned once he was inside of you, making you throw your head back against the wall. There was a slight burn as he pushed inside of you, but the burn only made pleasure run through you all over again. Your fingers squeezed together as Jeonghan buried his face into your neck, heavy moans and grunts leaving his mouth in the form of hot breath on your neck.

You squirmed under his touch, your neck suddenly feeling more and more sensitive. You wanted to move your hands from above your head. You wanted his lips on yours.

But you knew that you had to be satisfied with his fingers digging into your thighs as his cock pressed impossibly deep inside of you.

“You feel so fucking good,” Jeonghan managed to say after what seemed like ages of him just fucking into you like he was sex starved. “And finally, you’re acting like what you really are. My little fuck toy.”

A breathy moan left your lips, making Jeonghan laugh.

“You like this huh? You like being my own little toy. You don’t even care about your own pleasure,” Jeonghan grunted. “I’m going to use you however I like and you’re just going to let me, aren’t you?”

You whined at his words, feeling your mind start to go blank at each and every thrust. How was he able to even hold you up like this? He was acting like you were feather light.

“I didn’t even have to tell you to keep your hands up… That’s what I like so much about you. You always know exactly what I want you to do.”

Jeonghan’s thrusts grew faster and faster, until you felt his cock begin to empty itself into you. He fucked his cum deep into your pussy, gasping as he filled you with his cum. You mewled against him, your head banging back against the wall as the feeling made your mind dizzy with pleasure.

“How does that feel, huh? Make you want to come?” He asked you. As he spoke his thrusts became even faster, his cock already hardening inside of you again. “Oh, I know you want to. Tell me how badly you want to.”

“Jeonghan,” you whined. “I j-just want your pleasure, that’s a-all.”

Jeonghan laughed, raising his face from your neck finally to look at you.

“Trying so hard to be good now?” He asked. “After sending me that teasing video of you. I don’t know why I invited you over. I know that pussy gets wet over just about anything.”

You didn’t respond to him, you couldn’t really manage to find the words to. Instead moans tumbled out of your mouth, your eyes fluttering shut as you focused on not doing the one thing that Jeonghan wanted you to do right now- Be bad.

“You’re so pathetic y/n,” Jeonghan mumbled. “You’re such a pathetic little whore. Always need a cock inside of you. Do you even deserve to be used the way I use you?”

You whined.

“Jeonghan-”

“Why don’t you beg me to be allowed to come huh? You think that pretending you don’t want to will make up for the fact that you’re a little cock tease?” Jeonghan asked. “No, your little strip show is the reason you might not get to come. I still want you to beg for it. Admit that no matter how desperate you are to be good you’re also desperate to be allowed to come on my cock.”

You were quiet for too long, so lost in pleasure that it was taking you a while to even comprehend his words. He spit on your face.

“Pay attention.”

Your eyes fluttered open, and your gaze met Jeonghan’s.

“I do, you’re right,” you blurted. “I need to come on your cock. Please. I couldn’t stop thinking about you today. Your hands on me, your cock in me. It’s taking everything in me not to come as I feel you pump me full of your cum-”

Jeonghan’s hips stuttered.

“J-Jeonghan, I’m begging you. I want to come, I need to and I need more of your cum in me. Please use me more.”

Your back arched.

“I’m always good for you, please. I’m-”

Jeonghan interrupted you with a small shift in weight, one of his hands smacking your ass before getting a grip again.

“Shut up, I’m tired of hearing you beg.”

A strangled moan escaped your mouth and Jeonghan’s head buried itself back in your neck.

“I’m going to come again, and this time I’m feeling generous. You’re going to be allowed to come today. Do you want to know why?”

You whimpered as his lips brushed a part of your neck that was apparently very sensitive.

“Wh-Why?” You mumbled.

“Because I like it when you are so pathetic you act out,” he whispered.

You felt your mind go blank as your orgasm ripped through you and almost as soon as you started coming you felt yourself being filled with more of Jeonghan’s cum. You felt Jeonghan’s thrusts come slowly to a stop, and for a while he stood there, holding you, both of your chest rising and falling with heavy pants.

After a few minutes had passed Jeonghan slowly pulled himself out of you, lowering your legs to the ground. You were so shaky that you almost felt your knees buckle, but you kept your balance by pressing your hands into the wall behind you.

Jeonghan’s hands raised up to your face, and he cupped your cheeks with them, pulling you into a deep kiss. You whined into Jeonghan’s mouth, which made him pull away from you, his thumbs brushing your cheek bones.

“You’re addicting,” he mumbled. “You know that?”

You wanted to echo it, but you couldn’t really get the words out. His words after all were only boosting your ego, reminding you of why you didn’t really care if he slept with other people.

He didn’t sleep with anyone twice, but to him, you were addicting.

Jeonghan’s hands left your cheeks.

“I’m going to get your shower ready.”

You groaned, which made Jeonghan chide you a little bit.

“What are you complaining about?” He asked you. You let yourself sink to the floor, your legs still pretty shaky, and your resolve to keep yourself standing gone now that Jeonghan wasn’t standing right in front of you.

He looked over at you, his lips pressing together.

You could feel Jeonghan’s cum leaking out of you and soaking your thighs. You knew he was right that you needed to take a shower, but still. He didn’t have to be so prompt about it all the time.

“You okay?” He asked softly. He walked over to you, crouching down in front of you. You nodded at him, letting one of your hands bury your face.

“’Course I am,” you responded. Jeonghan’s hand closed around your wrist and he pulled your hand from your face. He slid his hand into yours, intertwining his fingers with yours. He let your hands fall to the side.

“Too much?” He asked you. You shook your head.

“No,” you insisted. “That was honestly pretty mild.”

There was something that was weighing you down a little. You weren’t sure what, and you could tell that Jeonghan could see it as well.

“You did good, you know that?” He mumbled. “You always do good for me.”

“I don’t need reassurance,” you insisted.

“Maybe not,” Jeonghan agreed. “But I still want to give it to you.”

He reached forward with his other hand, fingers brushing against the sore spots on your neck. The touch sent a chill through your body.

“I’ve never really asked if the hickies were okay.”

“Hickies?” Your eyes widened slightly as you realized that he was touching the marks he had left on you. “Oh, that’s fine. Of course, that’s fine.”

Jeonghan snickered at your words, his hand resting on your shoulder.

“You know it’s okay to not be comfortable with something I’m doing, right?” He asked.

“I know,” you insisted. “Trust me, if you saw my internet history you wouldn’t be so unsure.”

Another laugh out of Jeonghan and he shook his head in slight disbelief of your words.

“Do you want me to help you in the shower?” He asked. You shook your head.

“I’m good. Really.”

Jeonghan gave you a small smile.

“Alright. Go take your shower then.”

“Are you tired?” Jeonghan asked you as you walked back into Jeonghan’s bedroom, a towel drying your hair.

“Actually,” you mumbled. “Not really. I had a lot of coffee today.”

You furrowed your eyebrows slightly.

“Are you kicking me out like you did Chaedom?” You asked. Jeonghan frowned at you, completely silent for a few moments. You two stood and stared at each other, not saying a word before finally you sighed and sat back down on the side of Jeonghan’s bed you usually slept on.

Jeonghan was the one who broke the silence.

“For someone who doesn’t care who I sleep with-”

“It’s just Chaedom!” You interrupted him. Despite the topic being somewhat serious, there was a pout on your face. “Why did it have to be her out of everyone at this school?”

“What do you have against Chaedom?” Jeonghan asked, a small smile on his lips. You rolled your eyes and looked away from him.

“She made it a competition. I wasn’t fighting her for your attention, but she was fighting me and she was being so obnoxious about it…” You felt your chest tightening as you talked about it. “She made us enemies, and I don’t like to lose.”

Jeonghan hummed, his eyes still on yours.

“So, if it was anyone else...?”

“Literally anyone else,” you replied. “We’re just… I’m just your fuck toy, right?”

You pulled your legs crossed legged under yourself and leaned towards Jeonghan a bit.

“Everyone would think I’m crazy for not minding being unable to sleep with others while you can do whatever you want, but look at it this way-” You squared your shoulders. “You’re Yoon Jeonghan. The campus playboy. The one everyone wants to fuck. The one who doesn’t settle.”

You let your head fall to the side while a small laugh left your lips.

“I would be crazy to expect you to settle for me. Not the other way around.”

Sometimes you felt like you understood Jeonghan fairly well. You knew what he expected of you when it came to sex… For the most part. His interests aligned yours after all.

But times like these, you remembered that you didn’t really know Jeonghan at all.

The expression on his face was… Weird. Sort of spaced out, like he wasn’t really looking at you. You waited, patiently for him to react, expecting for him to either completely agree with you, or to maybe explain what this was from his point of view.

“Help me build this lego set.”

Your eyes fluttered wider and you watched as Jeonghan got up from the bed and walked over to his closet, pulling out an unopened box of legos. It was in a smaller box than the last one had been in.

Jeonghan didn’t really wait for you to follow him. He just sat down on the floor, dumping the packets of legos on the floor. He started to unravel the instruction packet. You thought he would call you over again but it was like he was suddenly in his own world.

You watched him for a few minutes, and then you climbed out of bed and sat next to him. You looked at the instructions for the lego set. It was a house. You looked at what Jeonghan had already in his hands. Just the start of the base of the house was all that was there.

You looked at the instructions to figure out what was next, and then searched the pieces on the floor for what Jeonghan needed next. Jeonghan pointed at a lego piece.

“Is it…?”

You frowned at the piece, squinting back at the lego on the instruction sheet.

“No… It’s…” Your eyes scanned the floor before finally finding the piece that he needed. “This!”

It took you and Jeonghan two hours to build the lego house together, and after the house was put together and set on his dresser, you and Jeonghan went to sleep.

You woke up before him this time. You groaned and rolled over in his bed, reaching for your phone blindly in the sheets. Jeonghan’s bed was huge. It was impossible not to lose things in it. You finally felt your fingers brush smooth glass and you pushed yourself up on your elbows.

Your phone was right next to Jeonghan’s. You tapped your screen. It was only eight in the morning.

You sucked in a breath, and rolled over, sitting up groggily in his bed. Jeonghan usually left his window curtains open. That was probably why he wasn’t up. The room was still pretty dark. Just two small dashes of light streaked across the bedroom floor.

You glanced back over at Jeonghan. He looked angelic laying there.

You looked away from him and slowly got up from his bed. You were trying to stay as quiet as you could. You put the nights clothes back on and once you had your shirt fully back on-

“You should start bringing clothes over.”

You jumped, placing your heart over your chest when you realized that it was just Jeonghan talking to you.

“Save yourself a walk of shame or two.”

“Fuck,” you mumbled. “Scared me, Han.”

“Han?” Jeonghan asked, looking over at you in amusement. You gave him an annoyed look, but it probably faded within seconds. You couldn’t help the way that your eyes flickered down to the way that Jeonghan’s shirt was falling off of his shoulder.

The collar of his shirt was stretched out and his collarbone was just visible. You swallowed hard. Even right after sleeping he looked beautiful… No wonder everyone was obsessed with him. You had honestly thought he had gotten up before you and washed his face before you woke up. It was criminal for someone to look so attractive after sleeping for eight hours.

“What are you doing?” Jeonghan asked. “Sneaking out again?”

“I have class Jeonghan,” you replied. “I’m not sneaking out. I just have to go.”

Jeonghan held up your phone, flashing you the time.

“At eight in the morning?” He asked. “You’re either late or early.”

He raised his eyebrow slightly.

“Why are you always trying to leave so early?”

You shrugged.

“It’s just weird that you want me to stay,” you replied. “Where’s Chaedom?”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes.

“Fine, leave if you want to. You’re the one missing out.”

You walked over to the bed, holding out your hand for your phone. Jeonghan put it in your hand, but as he did, he also grabbed your wrist with his other hand. He pulled you, making you stumble forward a little bit.

You felt yourself suck in a deep breath. It made Jeonghan’s lips flicker into a smile.

“No more Chaedom,” he said. He tilted his head up, his lips brushing yours. “Will that make my little fuck toy happy?”

Your face blazed red.

“Jeong-”

Jeonghan let go of your wrist and fell back in the bed.

“I’ll see you later,” Jeonghan said, his eyes on the ceiling.

You pressed your lips together, trying to prevent yourself from doing more than you should. You and Jeonghan were just fuck buddies. He was just extending to you the same courtesies that you were sure he would for others. You sucked in a deep breath and walked out the door.

“Hey, y/n!”

You froze at the entrance to the dining room, your eyes widening slightly when you realized that almost Jeonghan’s entire fraternity was already down in the kitchen, you turned and smiled at Mingyu- the one who had called your name.

“Uh, hi.”

You bowed a little to all the boys, noting, with some relief that none of them looked to be tired of seeing you.

“When I heard you come over last night, I decided to make something new for breakfast! Blueberry pancakes.”

Mingyu picked the pan up from the stove, showing you a mostly cooked pancake. Your eyes flickered to the food.

“Oh, I was-”

“Why’d Jeonghan make you walk all the way down here alone?” Jun interrupted; his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“He’s still in bed.”

“Oh,” Jun said with a nod. “Okay, well, come sit down.”

He gestured to the seat beside him. You pressed your lips together.

“No really I ought to-” You went to gesture towards the door, but before you could a plate was being shoved into your hands. You looked down at the food, and then, in surprise up at Mingyu. He had the largest smile on his face.

“Everyone else really likes them, but I’m withholding my judgement for your reaction,” he said. You forced a smile on your lips.

How could you say no to that?

The pancakes were delicious. Some of the best you had ever had. You worried that if you kept eating breakfast at this house it would ruin breakfast entirely for you. You got seconds not only because the pancakes were so good but because you and Jeonghan hadn’t eaten after anything last night. You were starving.

You had been there for thirty minutes- Thirty minutes longer than you should have been there, but now you were stuck in a conversation you knew there was no way out of.

“People like Hansol and Joshua are actually really interesting, because acquisition of language at a young age is so overlooked by people learning languages when they are older,” you said. “Sure, Seungkwan struggles with learning English now, but if he were put in the same environment as Joshua and Hansol when they were younger things definitely would have been different.”

“That just doesn’t make sense to me,” Seungcheol said with a small shake of his head. “How is it that at a younger age it’s easier to learn a language?”

“Is just the way the brain works when you’re younger. Because children’s brains are still developing when they’re younger it’s easier for them.” You pointed your fork at Seungcheol. “But what’s more interesting is not child second language acquisition but child first language acquisition. Did you know that according to Chomsky’s theory of language acquisition, children are born with the innate ability for language acquisition?”

“What?” Seungcheol asked.

“Yes! He believes that the human species has evolved a brain whose neural circuits contain linguistic information at birth.”

Despite your excitement you waved away the thought.

“This topic borders the line of linguistics and psychology,” you said. “But people often point to the creation of sign language as evidence towards Chomsky’s theory.”

You opened your mouth to explain more, but just as you did a hand found it’s way to your back. You looked back in shock to find Jeonghan standing there. He shot you a look of brief annoyance.

“Y/n, aren’t you late for something?” He asked softly. “Why are you still here?”

His hand raised a bit to your neck, his fingertips brushing the roots of your hair. You knew his annoyance stemmed not from your presence in the house, but your eagerness to get out earlier. You gave him an apologetic look.

“You were right, I wasn’t going to make it to class on time.” You gestured to the plate of blueberry pancakes untouched beside you. “And Mingyu made pancakes. I saved some for you.”

Jeonghan’s hand squeezed the back of your neck lightly, and he took a seat beside you. He rested his arm onto the table.

“You were talking… Language acquisition,” he said. You nodded.

“Right, so, have you ever heard of Nicaraguan sign language?” You asked Seungcheol. He shook his head and none of the other boys in the room who were listening spoke up. “So basically, in Nicaragua…”

The boys in the Alpha Mu fraternity let you talk about the psychology behind language acquisition for much longer than anyone outside of your field ever had. Your passion about it did stem from the fact you had just written a paper about it for class but regardless the boys stayed interested in the topic.

The conversation finally died down when Seungcheol broke it off because he had to go to class: “But you’ll have to tell me more about this in the future. Psychology is really interesting.”

You thought it was dumb that he was so interested in something that had nothing to do with his degree but regardless of that you had smiled and agreed. You were honestly looking forward to the future conversation.

“So you missed your first class of the day,” Jeonghan said as you got up from the table. “What else do you have to do for the day?”

You looked at him but he wasn’t looking at you, his eyes were on his cell phone.

“Nothing I guess,” you replied. “Why? What do you propose?”

“Well, I don’t want to build them today but I want to get more lego sets we can build together,” Jeonghan explained. “We could go to Target?”

“Yeah. That sounds fun.”

Jeonghan was an odd guy. You thought going to Target for legos just meant going to Target for legos. But when the first thing he did was drag you over to Starbucks and insist on buying you a drink you knew it wasn’t going to be like that.

“Jeonghan, I don’t think you really understand how being fuck buddies works,” you mumbled. Jeonghan rolled his eyes slightly.

“Playing with legos after is basically after care,” Jeonghan replied. “I’m just preparing for it ahead of time. Don’t you want a say in the sets we build?”

This time you rolled your eyes.

“I think the legos are more for you than me, but I’ll bite,” you said. As you spoke the barista called out Jeonghan’s name, freeing him from commenting on your indifference. He handed you the drink he had ordered you- A venti despite your opposal. You smiled.

“Thanks,” you said. He gave you a devious smile.

“Anything for my good girl,” he teased. “Even if you’re being a brat.”

Your mouth fell open, intent on arguing with Jeonghan against the brat allegations, but before you could he was walking away from you. You pressed your lips together, huffing sharply out of your nose. Then you followed him. You expected him to go straight towards the lego section but instead he went right to the women’s clothing section.

You stood outside in the aisle for a second, expecting Jeonghan to realize he had gone the wrong way and turn around but instead he picked up a shirt, holding it out to you.

“You need more clothes.”

“What?”

“Clothes you can keep at the frat house,” Jeonghan explained. “That way you don’t have to leave in the same clothes you came in.”

“I’ll just get some clothes from my place,” you insisted. Jeonghan completely disregarded you by pushing the shirt he had picked up into your arms.

“Are you really going to argue with me about free clothes?” He asked you. You opened your mouth to say: yes because of course you were but before you could Jeonghan just sighed. “You’re such a brat outside of the bedroom. What does it take for you to be good, hm? Just need something in that cunt?”

Your eyes widened at Jeonghan’s words, and you looked around quickly to make sure no one was listening. Luckily, no one seemed to have overheard him.

“I don’t-”

“Just let me buy you some clothes,” Jeonghan said, picking up another shirt. “It’s the least that I can do. Don’t you know well enough that sex like ours is bad for your psyche if the aftercare isn’t good enough?”

“Jeonghan, I’m a psychology major and when I say I’m fine-”

Jeonghan pushed another shirt into your arms, his hand coming to the back of your neck. He gave you a small smile.

“Just let me take care of you,” he said. “You say you’re fine but you were kind of out of it last night. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

You didn’t know why Jeonghan cared so much about you being okay. No one you had slept with before had cared so much.

Then again hadn’t that been why you had broken up with them in the first place? You started to feel like they meant everything that said and did to you during sex while Jeonghan had put a clear separation between the two.

You were probably just over thinking all of this because your last partners hadn’t been this way. Maybe Jeonghan being so caring all the time was a normal way for someone in the type of relationship you two had.

Still, you didn’t want him to buy you clothes.

But when Jeonghan was looking at you the way he currently was? It was impossible to say no.

“Fine,” you said. “But I want to buy the legos.”

“Fine,” Jeonghan agreed with a nod. “That’s a far trade off.”

His hand left your neck and he turned his attention back to the clothes around him. Without much more than murmurs every now and then of “you’d look good in this” he didn’t say much. Instead of fretting with him you just watched and drank your coffee, holding what he gave you.

Somehow, he knew your style really well.

When you two had finally found your way to the lego aisle you were almost done with your coffee, and you had more clothes in your hands than you had any real excuse to have. Still, now that Jeonghan was focused on legos at least he wasn’t intent on spoiling you with clothes.

“Do you see any sets you don’t already have?” You asked. Jeonghan hummed, his fingers trailing across the shelves as he looked at the sets. He lowered to a crouch and picked up a set.

“A few.”

He was quiet for a little bit, and then picked up a second set. As you watched him you felt your phone start to vibrate in your pocket. You hummed in frustration and shifted the things in your hands so that you could pull out your phone.

“One second, Yeongtae is calling,” you mumbled. Jeonghan looked over at you from where he was crouched on the floor holding two lego sets. You turned your back to him.

“Hey, what’s up?” You said as you put your phone to your ear.

“I have an assignment I had no clue I needed to do,” Yeongtae replied. “I need company. And coffee.”

“Bossy,” you mumbled.

“You like bossy,” Yeongtae snorted. As if he could hear your conversation, you felt a hand snake around your waist, and Jeonghan pulled you against his body. He took your phone out of your hand and placed it to his face, turning away from you.

“Yeongtae?” He asked.

“Jeonghan-” you exclaimed, reaching for your phone. Jeonghan pulled further away from you, placing his hand to your forehead so that you were an arms width away from him. Jeonghan was lucky that you two were in public, because if you weren’t you would not be keeping your voice at such a hushed level.

“She’s with me right now,” Jeonghan said into the phone. Your eyebrows furrowed and tried to get your phone from another angle. Jeonghan just stepped aside, as if he had known exactly how you were going to come at him. “I think you’ll have to work on that assignment alone.”

“Jeonghan,” you hissed at him. “Give me my phone back!”

“Maybe I can figure out a different time for you two,” Jeonghan commented. He walked down the aisle, and you followed close behind. Finding every attempt to get your phone completely fruitless. “What about never?”

“Jeonghan!” This time you did let your voice rise. Loud enough that Jeonghan stopped this game of avoiding you and turned his eyes to you. You fixed him under a glare. “Give me my phone back.”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes, and for a second you thought he was just going to keep doing the same thing he was before, but instead of turning away he handed you your phone. You snatched it from his hand.

“Hey. Sorry,” you mumbled. “I’d be happy to study with you tonight.”

A little laugh came from Yeongtae’s end of the phone.

“A little lovers quarrel?” Yeongtae asked, his voice light and airy.

“Shut up,” you replied. “You know Jeonghan and I aren’t dating.”

You looked back at Jeonghan, annoyed.

“Thank god.”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes away from you, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I’ll see you in what? An hour?’

“Sounds good,” Yeongtae replied. “See you.”

You hung up the phone, slipping it into your pocket. You turned and looked at Jeonghan who was still standing across the aisle from you.

Again, you were faced with a different Jeonghan then you had seen before. His bottom lip was jutted out ever-so-slightly, and his entire demeanour was stiff.

Why was he upset? He had taken your phone.

“It wasn’t like I was going to sleep over again,” you said. “And Yeongtae is a good study partner.”

“Hm.”

Jeonghan turned his attention back to the legos, picking up the two sets that he had been looking at before.

“We should probably hurry so that you can get to Yeongtae then,” he said. Had his voice dropped an octave? “There’s just one more thing I want to do with you before I take you to your study partner.”

As soon as Jeonghan had set aside your bags he was closing a bathroom stall door shut, pushing you against the door. You gasped, as Jeonghan immediately dragged off your underwear, but before you could say anything he was pressing the salty cloth into your mouth.

“You want to hang out with Yeongtae?” He mumbled. “Fine.”

He tapped his neck.

“Put your hand on my neck.”

You immediately did as you were told.

“Pinch me,” he instructed. You did as you were told, and Jeonghan’s hand raised to push your panties more firmly into your mouth. “That’s what you do if you need me to stop- Got it?”

You nodded and that was all that Jeonghan needed.

He was quick to push his fingers into your body, first one, and then a second, and then a third. He gave it a moment between each addition, scissoring his fingers in and out of you. You tried to whine but your voice was too muffled by the gag in your mouth, you didn’t think that Jeonghan could hear a thing that you were saying.

Despite Jeonghan trying to make sure you were actually ready for his cock he was moving fast. He lifted you up by your thighs again, keeping you leveraged on the door so that he could push himself into you. He was practically fucking you the same this time as he had the night before.

“You feel that? You feel my cock?” Jeonghan asked you, his voice low and rough. You nodded feverently and tried to say yes, but again you found that were completely and totally muffled. Still, Jeonghan smiled into your neck. “No one can make you feel like this can they?”

He hoisted you up more, shaking the bathroom stall doors and somehow forcing his cock even further into you. You cried out, throwing your head back against the stall door.

“No one is ever going to fuck you better than me. I want you to remember that while you’ve got your nose in a book chatting with fucking Yeongtae.”

He raised his head to look at you.

“You’re mine.”

He kissed your cheek.

“This is mine.”

His mouth trailed to your neck and he bite down on it.

“This is mine.”

He squeezed your thighs with his fingers.

“This is mine.”

And then he gave you a particularly sharp thrust.

“And this is mine,” he asserted. “You’re all mine, aren’t you?”

You couldn’t reply but Jeonghan didn’t seem to care.

“My little toy for fucking. You just remember that the next time you’re with Yeongtae, do you understand?”

You nodded, tears of pure pleasure beginning to streak down your cheeks. You wanted to feel insecure about how messy you probably looked, but even if Jeonghan had been looking it didn’t matter. You reminded yourself he liked it when you were messy.

Jeonghan dropped you down to your feet and smacked your ass.

“Hands on the door.”

You were quick to oblige. Jeonghan pushed back into you fast, putting both of his arms on either side of you.

“Put your left hand on my arm, so you can still pinch me.”

You again obliged and as soon as your hand was there he was fucking you hard again. He buried his face in your neck, muffling his moans. You could tell he was close, and you were close to. Your whole body felt like it was on fire, you were obsessed with the feeling of Jeonghan inside of you.

Suddenly, you heard the door of the bathroom open. Your eyes widened slightly in shock, but Jeonghan was quick. He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you up. You kept a hand on his arm as he started to fuck you even harder, that smile still on his face, pressed into your neck.

“How quiet can you stay when come?”

Before you could figure out what he meant in your head he was pulling your underwear out of your mouth. You took a gasp of air, immediately slapping your hand over your mouth.

“Did you hear something…?” A voice came from outside of the stalls.

“I think it was the ac kicking on,” another voice said. Your heart beat heavily in your chest, so loud that you thought if they couldn’t hear your stifled moans surely they could hear your pounding heart.

You had never thought you would be able to handle public sex very much but then Jeonghan said: “Go ahead and make a mess. I want them to hear you.”

And you were coming.

You felt your head fall forward on the bathroom stall as you quite literally pushed your fingers into your mouth in an attempt to muffle yourself. Strangled noises were able to escape from around your fingers as your brain became muddy with pleasure.

Jeonghan didn’t stop his thrusts, but he did pull you back up against his body so that you two weren’t actively rattling the stall doors.

“Is there someone- Hey are you okay?”

Fuck.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” you blurted out. “I just… Ate something bad.”

“Oh… Okay…”

The two girls outside of the stall snickered and you heard one of them say: “… Disgusting.”

Before you heard the tale tell sound of them leaving the bathroom.

“Y/n, you are so fucking good for me.”

Jeonghan’s voice cracked at the end of his sentence, his hips stuttering as he began to cum inside of you. You raised your hand to your face, biting down on it as a way to keep yourself quiet even though you didn’t need to anymore.

When Jeonghan’s thrusts finally came to a stop you allowed your hand to fall from your mouth, taking large, deep breaths of air as you caught your breath.

Jeonghan’s lips attached to your neck again.

“I want to mark your whole neck up,” he mumbled. “I can’t have Yeongtae thinking he has a chance with you.”

“He doesn’t think he has a chance with me. He knows…” You trailed off, your face burning with residual embarrassment. “I know that I’m yours.”

Jeonghan hummed against your body.

“You know that your mine, huh?”

Jeonghan pulled his cock out of you and then took you by your hips and pressed you back into the door, sliding down your body. Once he got down to your pussy, he looked up at you, smiling.

“I’ve been going easy on you,” Jeonghan mumbled. His fingers brushed your thighs. “You have no bruises. I’ve just been fucking your perfect little pussy and treating you so softly.”

Jeonghan dipped his head. His lips attached to your pussy and his tongue dipped into you as he slowly lapped his cum out of you. After he was satisfied he made his way back up your body, his lips pressing to yours. You could taste the hint of both your and his cum on his tongue. He pulled back from you.

“The next time I see you, y/n… I’ll remind you exactly how depraved you really can be.”

Jeonghan smiled at you, and if your brain hadn’t been so sure that his words were in fact threatening his face would have fooled you into thinking that he was nothing short of an innocent angel.

Luckily… (Unluckily…?) The next time that you saw Jeonghan was a few days later in the school cafeteria.

You almost never went to the cafeteria during a school day, but every once in a while you would stop by to get some make-your-own-pasta and sub-tier cake. You didn’t ever see anyone when you were there so when you spotted Jeonghan from across the cafeteria, reading a book, you were beyond surprised.

You thought very seriously about not saying anything to him, but the plan died as soon as he raised his eyes and met your gaze. You forced a smile on your lips and made your way over to him. He was sitting in a booth… Maybe he was waiting for someone else.

You smiled awkwardly at Jeonghan in greeting.

“Anyone sitting here?” You asked. Jeonghan gestured to it.

“Please, be my guest,” he replied.

You had sort of been hoping that he would tell you that he was about to leave or something, but it was clear that not matter what, now that you were here he was planning on sticking around for a while.

You looked at the plate of food Jeonghan had- Some pizza- and gestured towards it.

“Is the pizza any good?”

“It’s caf food,” Jeonghan replied with a shrug. “Do you eat in the cafeteria a lot? I never see you here.”

“Only every once in a while,” you replied. “You?”

“I’m usually here,” he replied with a shrug. “It’s close to my classes.”

“Does Mingyu not cook every night?” You prodded. Jeonghan smiled.

“We take turns,” he replied. “Most of us take turns at least. Hansol is awful at cooking.”

You laughed, a little surprised by the news.

“And how are you at cooking?”

Jeonghan gave you an amused expression.

“You’ll just have to see.”

Spending time with Jeonghan when it was to do something other than sex was always awkward. Not because you didn’t like Jeonghan or because you two didn’t get along but because you just couldn’t understand why Jeonghan seemed to enjoy your company as much as he did.

Despite the fact his eyes were on his book while you two spoke he was clearly hearing everything that you had to say. It was weird because he wasn’t making sexual innuendos or anything. Could fuck buddies be friends outside of fucking?

You weren’t really sure.

A loud noise erupted from you and Jeonghan’s table, and you looked down, noticing quickly that it was your phone vibrating. You picked it up, glancing at the screen.

Yeongtae.

Remembering Jeonghan’s reaction last time Yeongtae called while you two were together you silenced the call, sending Yeongtae a quick message: Can’t talk right now.

“Who is that?” Jeonghan asked. You glanced back up at him.

“Jeongyeon,” you lied, but you could tell that Jeonghan knew instantly it was a lie. You pressed your lips together as you felt your phone vibrate again in your hands. You glanced in the screen.

I know you aren’t busy, pick up the phone >:-(

You sent Yeongtae a quick text back: I am busy. Shut up.

“You’re busy, I get it,” Jeonghan mumbled. “Is it Yeongtae?”

Your lips pressed into a thin line and you nodded once. Jeonghan hummed.

“You two get along really well,” Jeonghan observed with a shrug. “You don’t have to hide that you’ve been spending time with Yeongtae.”

Even though he said that you couldn’t help but notice that Jeonghan’s fingers were curled in a tight fist.

“Besides, I’ve been seeing people these last few days,” Jeonghan continued. You blinked.

“Oh?”

“It wasn’t Chaedom,” Jeonghan replied with a roll of his eyes. “So that means you’re not jealous right?”

You nodded, with a small hum.

“Yeah,” you agreed pointedly. An irritated look flashed through Jeonghan’s eyes, but it was so brief that you wondered if the look really had even existed. He flashed you another smile.

“Well? Aren’t you going to call Yeontae back?” He asked. “Your grades depend on it.”

You pressed your lips together and nodded. You pulled out your phone and called Yeongtae back. He answered fast.

“Oh, right. I see now. Very busy.”

“I’m eating,” you replied. You glanced at Jeonghan. “With Jeonghan.”

“Oh god, please don’t tell me what you’re eating.”

“We’re in the caf,” you replied with a roll of your eyes.

“Even worse. You’re in public?”

You looked at Jeonghan, completely unamused.

“I hate him,” you said pointedly. Yeongtae’s laugh came from the other end of the phone.

“On a serious note- Dinner with Jeonghan? Are you two finally dating?”

Your eyes widened and you searched Jeonghan’s eyes quickly to see if he could hear anything. Jeonghan didn’t show any real sign of having heard anything though. His eyes had turned down to the left over scraps of food on his plate.

“Shut up,” you mumbled. “What’s up?”

“Want to meet at the library in ten minutes?” Yeongtae asked.

“Ten minutes?” You replied in surprise. “I uh-”

Jeonghan glanced up and waved his hands.

“I’ve got to get going anyways,” he said. “Meeting with someone tonight.”

You sighed your relief, glad that you weren’t going to have to choose between the two boys.

“Okay, library in ten minutes. I’ll see you when I get there.”

“See you.”

As you looked up Jeonghan was already gathering his things and picking up your dirty plates. He smiled at you.

“You know, I’m getting tired of fucking other people,” he said, his eyebrows raising towards you slightly. “When do I get to use my pretty little toy next?”

Your face flushed.

“Soon,” you mumbled. “Whenever you want.”

Jeonghan nodded, clicking his tongue at your words.

“Alright. Soon.”

He didn’t say more. Instead, he shot you a smile in farewell and disappeared into the crowd.

Despite both of you clearly wanting to see each other again soon, neither you nor Jeonghan reached out for the next few days. You thought a couple of times about just showing up but always ended up deciding not to.

You had midterms coming up anyways, so reaching out to him didn’t make the most sense. You decided to just stick with studying with Yeongtae at the library for the time being.

Well… Mostly studying.

“Okay favorite movies,” Yeongtae said. You leaned back in your chair, thinking carefully over your choices.

“God, I don’t know. I’m into so many movies.”

“Marvel movies?” Yeongtae asked. You rolled your eyes at him.

“Very original,” you mumbled. He laughed at your indifference.

“Okay, regardless, we should go see a movie together.”

“Okay,” you relented. “What movie do you want to see.”

“What movies are even…?” As Yeongtae trailed off he started typing quickly on his computer. “Uh, Cocaine Bear, John Wick: Chapter 4, the new Shazam movie, Scream?”

“Oh, let’s see the new Scream movie,” you replied, your eyes lighting up a little. “Maybe it’ll make midterms seem like less of a nightmare.”

Yeongtae laughed.

“Awesome! So, we’ll catch the 9:10 this weekend and- Oh. Hi Jeonghan.”

You frowned slightly and looked over to where Yeongtae was looking. You dipped your head slightly when you made eye contact with Jeonghan.

“Hi Jeonghan. What are you doing here?” You asked. Jeonghan sighed and gestured to the backpack over his shoulder.

“I came to study away from the boys,” he said. “I didn’t expect to see you here.... With Yeongtae.”

You smiled and nodded.

“Yeongtae and I always study together on Tuesdays at the library.”

It briefly flickered in your mind that you thought Jeonghan had known that. But obviously he wouldn’t be surprised to see you there if he did.

“You should join us Jeonghan,” Yeongtae suggested.

“That’s okay,” Jeonghan denied. “I’ll let you have your time together.”

Jeonghan walked over to you, placing a hand on your shoulder. His grip wasn’t tight in anyway, but he put enough pressure on you to turn your body towards him more. His hand slid up to the back of your neck and he pulled you into a deep kiss.

Your face blazed at the display of affection so publicly, but you were nothing but putty when it came to being under Jeonghan’s touched. He pulled away suddenly, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you frantically tried to catch your breath.

“Ten minutes. Fourth floor bathroom,” Jeonghan said. Your eyes widened slightly.

“Ten minutes?” You hissed back. You looked around to make sure no one had heard. It seemed like only Yeongtae was able to hear. “Here?”

“Safe word?” Jeonghan murmured, his eyebrow raising and his stature becoming much less... Dominating. You cleared your throat, looking at the table.

“N-No, I won’t be doing that,” you admitted softly. “Ten minutes. Fourth floor.”

Jeonghan hummed and he raised his hand to your face, tapping it lightly so that you would look at him again.

To be honest, you were disappointed he wasn’t being a little rougher.

“Good girl.”

When you pressed into the bathroom your first thought was utter relief. It was completely empty, and on a floor of the library that you knew people never came to. Even better the bathroom was set far away from the mostly empty offices on the floor.

You set your phone on the small seats in the entrance of the bathroom and peeked around the corner, trying to find Jeonghan.

The door to the bathroom opened up just as you came to the conclusion that Jeonghan wasn’t already there. A smile flickered across his face when he spotted you and he closed the door behind him.

“Get undressed… Now.”

Despite this being a bathroom with stalls, it was so old that Jeonghan was able to lock the door behind him. Of course, that was only something you noticed in passing as you began to get your jeans and shirt off as quickly as you could. Jeonghan didn’t match your speed, but you could tell from the way that he was looking at you that he was desperate to be inside of you again.

“Do you know how long it’s been since I fucked you last?” Jeonghan asked. You opened your mouth to respond, but Jeonghan stopped you with a single look in his eyes. He finally got his last article of clothing off and came up to you, pushing your back against the window on the far side of the bathroom wall.

The fingers of his left hand dug into your shoulder, while his right lowered down to your pussy. He laughed when he found that you were wet. “You really will just get wet over anything.”

He pushed a finger inside of you, finally deciding to continue the conversation he had tried to start before.

“It’s been over a week,” Jeonghan replied. “Longer than the other times that we went when you were only coming to parties.”

“I didn’t-”

“Didn’t what? Want to be punished for being needy again? Didn’t know if you should come over?” His voice was deep as he spoke and once again his head dipped down into your neck. The hickey’s he had left there from last time were now mostly faded.

You felt the inside of your stomach coil with pleasure when you realized he was intent on marking you up all over again.

“I had to go so long without fucking you,” Jeonghan mumbled. “Had to fuck other girls, even fucked someone last night and wasn’t left satisfied with a single one of them while you played the good student with Yeongtae.”

As Jeonghan brought up Yeongtae he bit down on your neck, sucking at the skin there. You let out a surprised gasp and you felt yourself grab at the windowsill, in an attempt to keep yourself from moving too much under Jeonghan’s grip.

“I feel like a fucking broken record,” Jeonghan mumbled. “I promised to treat you truly depraved last time and here I am, again, fucking you in a bathroom.”

Jeonghan’s hand left your shoulder and his mouth left your neck so that he could slap you across your face. A whine ripped through your body as your head fell to the side, but Jeonghan didn’t let you stay like that. He pushed a second finger into your pussy and then forced your face back to his with his free hand.

“If you weren’t so bad I wouldn’t have to hit you, you know?” Jeonghan mumbled, a look of fake pity falling over his face. He clicked his tongue as he forced your head to the side again so that he could look at your face. “Then again, it doesn’t even seem like those little hits really affect you.”

The thought of being hit again when your cheek was still stinging sent a rush of excitement through your body and Jeonghan must have felt it in the fingers he was using to slowly scissor your pussy as he turned your face towards him again, amusement spreading over his lips.

“Oh, you like that don’t you?” He asked. “You want me to hit you again? Tell you that you’re forcing me to do it?”

He laughed and pushed a third finger into your pussy, shaking his head.

“God, you feel how tight your stupid little cunt is? Little sluts aren’t meant to have cunts so tight. Good toys should be well used,” he mumbled, his attention flickering down your body. “And your perfect breasts…”

His hand lowered to your boobs so that he could squeeze them and begin to tease one of your nipples with his thumb.

“These poor things have gone completely untouched and unplayed with for so long. All because you’ve been so bad.”

Jeonghan grunted and suddenly struck a hit across your boobs. The hit surprised you and your head flew backwards, hitting the window with a small thud just as Jeonghan’s fingers began to pinch your tits again.

“I wonder if I should turn your whole body red…” Jeonghan mumbled. His head dipped down so that he could tease your tit with his tongue and teeth, only making you squirm under him.

You couldn’t help but roll your hips down into Jeonghan’s hand, making your clit bump into his thumb. You whined, not even really realizing how much you had missed his touch until just then.

“Fuck, Jeonghan your fingers aren’t enough,” you whined.

“But, baby, your little pussy is so tight I don’t think that it could handle anything bigger,” Jeonghan cooed against you. As if to prove his point he spread out his fingers inside of you, forcing a whine out of you. “You feel that pretty little burn? That’s the consequence of being bad. I have to spend so much time just getting you ready for my cock.”

He chided you softly.

“Aren’t you ashamed?” He asked. “Ashamed that I can’t just immediately push my cock into you and fuck you the way I want to? I have to worry about breaking your pretty little cunt with my cock.”

You couldn’t help the way you whined again, rolling your hips harder against Jeonghan’s hands.

“I can take it,” you insisted, your face burning at the implication that you should be ashamed for being so tight. Jeonghan chuckled.

“Yeah? You think so?” He asked, his voice still teasing. You nodded, forcing your eyes to his.

“Please Jeonghan, I’m still a good toy,” you insisted. “I need your cock inside of me.”

Jeonghan laughed.

“Yeah...?”

He pulled his fingers out of you and pushed you around by your shoulder so that your back was to him. You immediately spread your legs for him as his fingers entangled in your hair and he pushed your face against the window.

Jeonghan slowly pushed himself into you, but the pace was agonizing compared to other times. He groaned, burying his face against your neck.

“Fucking hell. At least I know you really are a good little slut. I can feel that I’m the only one who plays with you,” he mumbled. You couldn’t bare to even open your eyes, they just stayed shut as Jeonghan’s hand held your cheek flush against the cold glass. You felt your ass shake a little as you tried to get Jeonghan to push in faster but it earned you a spank hard enough to jolt your whole body.

“You really do want me to make your whole body red don’t you?” Jeonghan asked, but you could tell by the sound of his voice that he was beginning to lose his patience.

“J-Jeonghan,” you whined. “Please- Faster- I want to feel you fucking destroy my pussy. N-Need it.”

Jeonghan just hummed at your words, finally coming fully seated inside of you. Your fingers curled against the window in anticipation but Jeonghan just stayed fully seated inside of you as if he was relishing the feeling.

“Jeonghan,” you murmured, frustration peeking into your tone. “Come on, please. Fuck me. I need to be fucked. If not by you by someone. Please.”

You knew your mistake as soon as it left your mouth, but there was no taking it back once it met Jeonghan’s ears. You felt his grip tighten in your hair and finally he began to move inside of you. A slow pull out before a sharp, deep fast thrust back into you making your whole body shake. You yelped at the thrust, and barely had time to recover before he was doing it all over again.

“Someone, hm?” Jeonghan reiterated. As he spoke, he pushed your body against the window harder so that now your tits were also pressed against the cold glass. “Why don’t you look down there huh? Tell me: Who is that someone you are going to let fuck you?”

You didn’t respond and Jeonghan’s hand came back down on your ass.

“I said who. Look out this fucking window and tell me who is going to want to fuck you?”

Your eyes shot open and you looked down realizing that despite being on the fourth floor you had a pretty good view of the school campus below you. Of course, no one seemed to notice you as they walked to and from class, but you thought if anyone did decide to look up and really look at you for a little bit, they might be able to figure out what you were doing.

“N-No one,” you managed out. “I didn’t mean-”

“No, you did mean what you said,” Jeonghan replied. He started to quicken his pace, but his thrusts were still just as hard. So hard that your whole body was bouncing against his. “You were threatening me so that I would fuck you faster. You thought I would just let that slide?”

Jeonghan laughed.

“Now, who is it going to be?” The palm of his hand pushed your cheek further into the window. “That guy with the green backpack? No. Maybe the one with the black shirt on… Not him either?”

Jeonghan slapped your ass again even though you hadn’t technically done anything wrong, and his hand came around your body so that his fingers could find your clit. You cried out at the friction.

“Wait- Jeong-”

“I think you forgot who was in control here,” Jeonghan hissed. “I think you forgot that you do what I say you can. And I use you the way that I want to.”

His fingers quickened their pace on your clit, and you watched helplessly as your heavy pants fogged up your view on the window.

“Let’s see, if I tell you not to come but force an orgasm out of you… What are you going to do, hm?”

You felt your heart skip a beat when you realized that was what he was doing. You squirmed underneath him.

“Wait- Jeonghan I-” You interrupted yourself with a half shriek when Jeonghan’s hand left your clit so that he could hit it. You felt a shock go through your entire body at the hit, and your pussy walls clamped around Jeonghan’s dick.

“If you come I’m going to have to punish you,” Jeonghan warned, but his fingers went right back to your clit. “You don’t want to be punished, do you? Not while all of your potential suitors are walking down there. People who are going to make you come faster than me?”

You couldn’t help it, you felt your orgasm coming faster and faster as Jeonghan fucked you even harder. You could tell that your words had had a strong effect on him.

“Hm, look, I think Mr. Baseball cap likes what he sees.”

You cried out as an orgasm ripped through your body, and Jeonghan fucked you through it as if it wasn’t happening at all. His fingers stayed stubbornly on your clit as he fucked you, your pussy becoming even wetter as you came around his cock.

“Oh, did you just come without permission?” Jeonghan asked. “Such a bad toy… What am I going to do with a little toy that can’t even follow simple orders?”

You went to protest against Jeonghan but the unpleasant overstimulated feeling that came just after your orgasm was already disappearing making way for a second orgasm.

You whined, your fists banging lightly against the window.

“Fuck, Jeonghan I’m sorry- Please-” Before you could even finish begging him to take pity on you a second orgasm was ripping through your body and Jeonghan was chiding you once again, pulling you by the strands of your hair off the window.

“God, you really are such a slut. You think other people want to fuck you when you’re being so bad?”

Tears dripped down your face as Jeonghan continued to fuck you through your second orgasm and this time you placed your hands on the window, trying to hold yourself up.

“Jeonghan.”

Your words were just a slur that made you sound completely drunk on sex. Drunk on Jeonghan really, and you could tell by the twitch of his cock that he was taking pride in it.

“God, you little pathetic whore. You can’t help but come when I’m fucking you can you? And up against a window for all to see? I should’ve just expected you to be bad. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t going to get punished.”

Jeonghan’s fingers pressed even harder against your swollen clit.

“And you’re letting me do all of this too, because you like it. This whole time you could have safe worded but you didn’t want to did you? You like being treated like this. You like that you’re going to get punished.”

As Jeonghan spoke your mind raced to try and figure out how you could convince him out of a punishment but it was too late. You felt his cock pulse inside you and a rope of cum shot out inside of you. You cried out in relief, a third orgasm starting to rock through your body but before you could get out another word Jeonghan was pulling himself out of you, his hand pushing you to the ground.

You felt a rope of warm semen paint your face, and- Your whole body shaking as your body kept coming around absolutely nothing- you let your tongue fall out, realizing that Jeonghan was coming on your face.

You pushed your head up against Jeonghan’s hand but he held you in place, not caring that your pussy was leaking all over the bathroom floor, and his hand didn’t loosen in your hair until his cum had finally stopped painting your face.

You slumped a little on the ground when Jeonghan left go of you, closing your mouth to swallow the little bit of cum that had landed on your tongue, but Jeonghan knelt down in front of you before much more could be said.

He slapped you, hard, his hand rubbing the semen across your face.

“You look pathetic,” Jeonghan mumbled. “Covered in tears and semen…”

Jeonghan shook his head.

“Such a bad, bad toy.”

You whined, but Jeonghan’s free hand went back to your hair. He pulled your head sharply so that his lips could press to yours. You moaned against his mouth, but the kiss was short.

“Are you sorry?” Jeonghan asked. You looked at him, sniffling a little, still trying to come down from having had three orgasms.

“I’m sorry,” you agreed softly. Jeonghan hummed.

“Yeah? Well, there’s one more bit of your punishment left.”

You nodded, excitement coiling in your stomach.

“O-Okay,” you agreed. Jeonghan rolled his eyes at your excitement, his hand falling from your head.

“I don’t like fucking you in bathrooms,” he mumbled. “I can’t give you good aftercare in a bathroom.”

Your face flushed red. He was thinking about aftercare even after asserting that you had been bad. It made your whole body feel even hotter than it did before.

“That’s okay,” you said softly. “I’ll give myself good aftercare when I get home tonight.”

Jeonghan hummed, giving you an annoyed look.

“Yeah?” He asked. “You promise to shower?”

“I promise,” you agreed quickly.

Jeonghan made a sound that didn’t sound like he was completely convince, but you could tell he wasn’t interested in arguing with you over it.

“You need a minute?”

You nodded.

“Okay. Let’s sit for a minute.”

“Is that a hickey?” Yeongtae asked as you took a seat back down in front of him. He squinted at you and his nose wrinkled. “Is there still cum on your face?”

Your face blazed and you pulled a wet wipe out of your backpack.

“He said to leave it until I got back to you.” You took the wet wipe and began to wipe your face clean.

“Ew.”

You stuck your tongue out at him, so Yeongtae sighed.

“It’s funny how possessive of you Jeonghan is,” he commented with a shake of his head. Your eyebrows narrowed at him.

“Possessive?” You questioned. “I would hardly call a man like Jeonghan possessive of me. Not really.”

Yeongtae laughed and you stared at him. A few beats passed.

“Oh my god you’re serious,” Yeongtae stated. “You don’t see it?”

“See what?” You asked. Yeongtae gestured in the general direction of where you had come from, where he assumed Jeonghan was.

“He’s obsessed with you,” Yeongtae stated pointedly. “Every time he sees that you're with me he gets so jealous.”

“He doesn’t get jealous; he just doesn’t like you.”

Yeongtae gave you a brief offended expression.

“I’m serious. Hasn’t he ever asked about me? Or rather, asked about other guys you’ve been with?”

“Well, yeah but that’s just because he’s worried, I’m sleeping with other people.”

“But you’re not exclusive,” Yeongtae replied bluntly.

“Right, but we agreed that I wouldn’t sleep with other people.”

“But he’s also not sleeping with other people.”

“No, he’s allowed to sleep with other people.”

Yeongtae sighed, shaking his head.

“Okay, regardless of how fucked up and stupid that is.” He leaned forward. “He’s not sleeping with other people.”

You squinted at Yeongtae.

“Yes he is. He told me.”

Yeongtae’s eyebrow raised.

“He lied to you?” He asked, genuinely looking confused. “What- Why would he lie to you about that?”

You were stunned, completely unsure of how to respond. You opened your mouth, and closed it, and opened it again.

“He...” You trailed off, now starting to feel a little angry. “He isn’t lying to me!”

“When did he do it last?” Yeongtae argued back. “When was the last time that he slept with someone else?”

You didn’t want to humor Yeongtae but you also wanted him to shut up about this whole thing.

“Just last night I think,” you replied pointedly. “Why-”

“Call your friend Jun. He lives with him, right?”

Your eyes narrowed at Yeongtae, not normally one to just listen to people when they practically ordered you around but...

You picked up your phone.

“If it will make you shut up.”

Your phone rang only twice before Jun picked up. You heard some shuffling on his end.

“Hey,” he said. “What’s up?”

Yeongtae pointed at your phone, mouthing at you to turn it on speaker phone. You rolled your eyes and did so.

“Hey, I have a really stupid question and you have to promise not to lie to me about it okay?”

“No, Jeongyeon still hasn’t met with Jimin, but she assures me that she is going to see him tonight?”

“What?” You asked. “No, I know that. This is something else.”

“Oh.” Jun was silent for a second. “Okay, what is it?”

“What was Jeonghan doing last night?” You asked.

“Jeonghan?” Some more silence from Jun. “Uh, legos. With Soonyoung and Jihoon.”

You felt your heart skip a beat, and you stared at your phone with wide eyes.

“What? No, I mean after that,” you replied. “What did he do after legos?”

“He went to bed,” Jun replied as if it was obvious. “Do you know how late they stayed up with those legos?”

“So... Jeonghan wasn’t having sex with someone?”

Jun still seemed confused.

“What? Of course not.”

You could see Yeongtae’s smug look from out of the corner of your eye but that was not really your main concern. You turned off speaker phone, pressing your phone to your ear and lowering your voice.

“What about the day before? And uh... Last week?” You asked.

“What are you asking this about? Jeonghan has been doing nothing but play with legos, go to school, and obnoxiously loudly fuck you.”

You were quiet this time.

“You’re lying.”

“Why would I lie to you about that?” Jun demanded. “Do you think that Jeonghan is cheating on you?”

“Cheating?!” Now that was loud. “We aren’t even dating!”

Before Jun could reply you breathed out briskly.

“Look, I’ve gotta go. Thanks Jun.”

You hung up the phone and immediately began packing your bags. Yeongtae still looked smug.

“I told- Wait. Where are you going?”

“I’m going to find the other boys of Alpha Mu. This is ridiculous. Thirteen boys can’t all lie to me.”

Part Five: Love the Way You Lie

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melzula · 2 months

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North and South

part one

pairing: zuko x princess!reader

notes: i’m so excited to finally be at the last comic storyline of the series. i do admit there are a lot of noticeable changes from the comic, but i still hope you guys enjoy. also i did make a series playlist if you guys want to give it a listen, it’s included on the masterlist!

summary: while doing her best to rebuild the tribe, the Chief struggles to determine what is really best for her people. however, she hopes that the return of her friends will allow her to see things in a clearer view

~ part of the fire lilies series ~

After a long day of teaching, you find yourself locked away in your office looking over proposals for the Reconstruction Project. Your head aches from the hours you’ve spent assessing paperwork and writing notes of your own about Hakoda’s new proposal. Things seem to be going well for the most part, your tribe is growing stronger with every passing day, but there’s still much to be done.

It’s been three months since you last visited the Fire Nation and helped Zuko find the missing children, and since returning home all of your attention has been focused on the needs of your people. You’re doing all you can to be the leader your father would want you to be and your tribe needs you to be, but the reconstruction process has made this a much more difficult task.

A gentle knock on your office door breaks you from your thoughts and brings you back to the present, refocusing your attention on the papers sprawled out before you. “Come in.”

“Chief y/n,” Hakoda greets you cordially before gently shutting the door behind him. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“No, of course not, I was just reviewing the proposal you and Malina submitted.”

“And?” He asks with a hopeful glint in his eye. You simply sigh, carefully rubbing your temple in thought before grabbing the papers from your desk and handing them back to him.

“I don’t think I can approve the construction of these plans,” you admit guiltily. “I know there’s an oil deposit here that could be beneficial to the growth of our tribe if used correctly, but can you assure me that will be the case once it’s built? Can you assure me it won’t have any negative impact on our wildlife or our people or our way of life? Can you assure me that it won’t cause tension between us and our sister tribe?”

“I… I can’t promise you any of that,” Hakoda admits with a sigh. “But isn’t taking chances part of making change? This oil could help build machines and make our way of life easier.”

“I’ve heard how some of the Notherners speak of us. I gave Maliq an earful the last time I caught him talking down to my men, and I don’t believe his intentions with this project consider the South’s best interests. Our people don’t deserve just fancy machinery and modern technology, they deserve dignity and respect. At this moment in time I’m not comfortable moving forward with the oil rigs. My answer is no.”

“I understand,” your advisor relents with a disappointed sigh. “I’ll inform Malina and Maliq of your response, and I’ll work hard to make sure we can show you that this project will be worthwhile.”

“Thank you, Hakoda. Now, onto less serious matters,” you note with a faint smile. “Based on the letter I received Katara and Sokka should be arriving tomorrow, and in two days I’ll be hosting a celebration in honor of their return. I can count on you to be there?”

“Of course, but… you won’t mention anything of Malina will you?” He asks hesitantly. “I should be the one to tell them.”

“I don’t like keeping secrets from friends, but I also know that this is a family matter, so you have my word,” you assure him. He thanks you and bids you goodnight before departing from your office, and once again you are all alone.

“What am I going to do?” You sigh, eyes straining as you try looking over the plans again. Change has been necessary to keep your tribe growing and your people strong, but you worry that perhaps there’s been too much change. The only thing that’s really stayed the same is the palace, but even now it feels out of place amongst all the modern buildings and structures. The Southern Water Tribe feels too Northern, and you worry your people are beginning to lose their identity.

Nothing makes sense anymore, but you hope that with the arrival of your friends will come a clearer view on the future ahead.

You can only hope for the best.

~~~

The South is bustling with activity as you usher in your students for the day’s lesson. Your class is reasonably small, made up of only about ten attendees and only two of them being originally from the South. Those two were the most resistant to your lessons, but you did your best to be as understanding of their hesitancy as possible. You too understood the trauma and fear that came with being forced to hide your bending once the war broke out in the South, and some people were still getting used to the fact that there was no longer any danger to run from.

“Good morning my little koala otters,” you greet cheerfully. “I hope you all are well rested and ready for today’s lesson.”

“Excuse me,” a voice calls, bringing your attention to the doorway, “do you have room for another student?”

You nearly collapse from the excitement that fills you at the sight of your two friends standing in the doorway with Master Pakku in tow ready to take over classes for you. You almost trip over your own feet as you rush towards the siblings and throw your arms around them in the tightest hug imaginable.

“Sokka, Katara! I’m so happy to see you guys,” you exclaim with a tearful smile before pulling away. “I can’t believe you’re back already.”

“It’s great to see you again, y/n,” Katara agrees, a content look on her face, “and it’s good to be home, even though it does look… different.”

“I know, it is a bit much,” you admit with an uncomfortable laugh, “but the people seem to like it, and your father thinks a modern look is just what our tribe needs.“

“Is our dad a great advisor or what?” Sokka asks Katara, a prideful smile on his face.

“He certainly has been a great help. Thanks to him and the construction crew from the North I’ve been able to focus on my bending school and more of the social affairs around the South. Having more time to connect with my people helps me be the best Chief I can and make sure I’m making the right choices for them.”

“Speaking of the construction crew,” Katara interrupts with a sour look on her face. “I caught them trying to attack little kids who were playing near a construction site.”

“It was just a misunderstanding, Katara,” Sokka reasons with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Besides, you kicked their butts anyway!”

“That’s terrible,” you express with a worried frown. “I’ll have to have a word with Malina about her crew; they won’t be welcomed here any longer if they keep this sort of behavior up. I won’t have outsiders tormenting my people.”

“This Malina… do you trust her?”

“Why do you ask?” You say, trying to feign obliviousness. You certainly don’t want to get in the middle of anything, but it’s hard having to lie to someone who’s been there for you through thick and thin.

“Well, we’re supposed to have dinner tonight with my dad, and her and her brother Maliq will be joining us. But I’m not really sure if I trust her,” Katara admits sullenly. “Something doesn’t feel right about them.”

“You just have to give her a chance. Anyone who can come up with cool designs like that can’t be all that bad,” her brother argues much to her annoyance.

“You only like her because she’s feeding you,” she grumbles indignantly.

“Look, I think you should speak to your father. He spends more time with her than I do, and he’ll be able to explain things much better than I probably could. The only thing I can tell you both is to keep your schedules open because tomorrow night I’ll be hosting a celebration in your honor!”

“What? You don’t have to do that!” Katara exclaims in surprise.

“Of course I do. You’re Southern heroes, you saved the world by helping the Avatar and you saved our tribe when you helped me defeat Koa,” you explain adamantly. “We’re having the party, and as Chief I demand your presence.”

“You’ve let the power go to your head, haven’t you?” Sokka accuses jokingly. “Don’t worry, y/n, we’ll be there.”

“Good,” you smile, pleased at getting your way. “We’re all going to have a wonderful time and everything is going to work itself out. These things just take time.”

“I guess you’re right,” Katara murmurs, but you can still detect the uncertainty in her features.

“Listen, why don’t you both come by tomorrow after my lessons are over? I can give you a grand tour of the new and improved Southern Water Tribe!” You suggest eagerly. “Your opinions matter too, and I want as much input as possible about how to improve our home for everyone.”

“That sounds nice,” she admits with a meek smile. “Maybe that’s what we need, a chance to settle into life back home.”

“Perfect! I’m excited to show you our procgress!”

While Katara appreciates your enthusiasm, she still doesn’t feel right about Malina or the changes made in the South. It doesn’t really feel like home anymore; it’s so different from how life once was. For your sake she’ll try to give it a chance, but as of now it seems it’ll take a lot more than her father’s reassurance to convince her that these changes are for the best.

But she hopes that maybe you’re right, maybe these things just take time, and maybe once time has passed it’ll feel like normal again.

She can only hope.

~~~

“After we finished rebuilding the outer tribes, we began our work on the royal plaza. It’s now become the main center for commerce, diplomacy, and unity. The local businesses that have opened here have been massively successful, and the square is constantly bustling with activity.”

Katara feels overwhelmed by the whirlwind of information you throw at her as you guide her and Sokka through the brand new royal village. You’re right about it always being busy- people rush by your trio to start their work for the day or bargain for the latest deals at the merchant stands. They look happy, content, and out of place. The people don’t match the towering buildings around them, and they surely don’t look like the same people she’d left behind a few years ago.

“And everyone is happy with the changes?” She asks curiously.

“Well, some were resistant to the change, so I tried to be as accommodating as possible. Those who didn’t want new homes were allowed to keep their original huts, and I didn’t force the outer tribes to merge with the royal village. I gave them the autonomy to govern their own affairs so long as it doesn’t interfere with the overall success of the tribe, but they’re still required to report to me at least once a month about their progress and request aid if needed.”

“So it’s kind of like the Earth Kingdom in a way?” Sokka points out indeterminately. “You‘ve established cities while still keeping the palace as the center point of the tribe.”

“I guess that’s true,” you note thoughtfully at his observation. “Father said I’d gain the knowledge needed to lead by traveling the world, so I’m using the knowledge I’ve gained for the benefit of my people.”

“I hate to burst your burble, Princess, but I don’t think everything’s as perfect as you say it is,” the boy says with a frown. Faltering, you slow yourself to a stop and turn to face the siblings. Their features are riddled with apprehension, and you’re not sure what to make of it.

“What do you mean, Sokka? Is there something you don’t like about the changes? Is there something I should be doing better?” You ask, fretful over the idea of not living up to the expectations placed upon you as leader.

“No, no, I think you’re doing a great job, honest. It’s just… well, some people aren’t happy about the Northerners being here.”

“Last night Malina was attacked at dinner, and we were forced to chase after these kids that stole Maliq’s briefcase,” Katara begins to explain, lowering her voice to ensure no one can overhear your conversation. “We followed them to the abandoned Fire Nation shipwreck and discovered a series of tunnels underneath.”

“There was an entire group of Southerners down there led by Gilak, a warrior who fought alongside our fathers against the Fire Nation,” Sokka continues, and you can only hang on to every word. You feel ashamed to know that this has been going on without your knowledge, and it’s almost as if you’ve failed in a sense. You’re Chief, it’s your job to know of things like this, and yet you’re having to find out about it through your friends. “They’re not happy about our sister tribe’s presence here in the South.”

“I understand some of the Northerners can be a bit blunt and unpleasant at times, but I didn’t think it was this bad,” you admit with a disappointed frown. “What did they tell you?”

“He said he understood that at first it was necessary for you to bring in people from the North to help restore bending to our tribe because it would make us stronger,” Sokka explains as he recalls the awkward encounter. “But now he thinks my dad is going overboard with all the people he’s brought in to help us rebuild.”

“He says we’re becoming a cheap imitation of the North,” Katara murmurs thoughtfully, and by the look on her face it seems as if she agrees with the sentiment.

“What else did Galik say?”

“They want to eradicate the presence of foreigners and are prepared to go to war to do so,” Sokka says sullenly, not exactly enjoying having to break this news to you. “He says we have to get rid of the Northerners before they take advantage of you.”

“Of me?” You retort in bewilderment. You definitely didn’t expect that to come out Sokka’s mouth. Katara then places a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“Galik and his followers believe that your relationship with Zuko- an outsider- has made you too trusting of foreigners. He thinks the Northerners are taking advantage of this trust to worm their way into the affairs of the South.”

“He compared our father to Koa,” Sokka spits irately, still fuming at the memory. “He thinks he’s abusing his position as advisor to go behind your back and make all these changes.”

“That’s not true at all!” You exclaim in disbelief. “Spirits, this has all gotten so out of hand. What am I to do?”

“Hey, don’t worry, we’re going to figure it out. Our dad is already investigating the matter as we speak,” your friend assures you, doing his best to alleviate your worry. “You’re doing great, Chief.”

You give him a meek smile at his encouragement, but his words do little to quell your anxieties. The last thing you want is a civil war to break out between your tribes, but at this point it’s starting to feel inevitable. You just hope Hakoda can put a stop to this before it gets too out of hand.

“Y/n, could I speak to you alone?” Katara asks suddenly much to the surprise of her brother.

“Of course. We’ll have to finish our tour another time, Sokka,” you tell the water tribe boy with an apologetic smile. Turning to his sister, you gesture for her to follow. “There’s something I want to show you.”

You weave your way through the village and back towards the palace square. The towering buildings slowly fade away the further you go, and the air here is more peaceful and serene with the absence of all the merchants and people. After a while you finally reach your stop, allowing Katara a moment to take in the building before her.

“What is this place?” She asks in awe, admiring the pristine marble work of the pillars lining the structure.

“Let’s go inside,” you suggest with a careful smile before ushering her toward. Immediately she’s greeted with a vast expanse of artifacts, artwork, literature, and more. Each section has its own label and scroll of information detailing the importance of the different exhibits, and Katara figures it would probably take hours to look through everything.

“This is incredible. Did you do all of this?”

“This was one of the first buildings I commissioned as Chief,” you recount with a proud smile. “The South lost so much because of the war, and I didn’t want anyone to forget all that we’d been through and all we’d done to survive. This museum holds every piece of history of the Southern Water Tribe, and I hope it can be used to educate others about our strength and resilience.”

“I want the South to grow, Katara. I want us to connect with others, to live in harmony with the other Nations. I want people from all over the world to visit the South and learn about our culture. Is it really so naive of me to have such hope?”

“No, I guess not,” Katara admits guiltily. “Y/n, the reason I wanted to speak to you alone was because I- well, because Malina and my father are together, and I’m not sure how to feel. She’s nothing like my mother, and I don’t think she’s good enough for my dad.”

“I know what it’s like to lose a parent,” you note faintly, absently brushing your fingers against your tiger shark tooth necklace. “I couldn’t imagine how I’d feel if my mother began to see someone else. But if it were to happen, I’d know that I’d just have to trust my mother’s judgement. Just like you have to trust your father’s.”

“It’s easier said than done,” Katara says with a huff. You merely give her a comforting smile and pull her figure into a hug.

“Just give it a chance. She doesn’t have to replace your mother, she never will, but it doesn’t hurt to get to know her. I think tonight’s festival would be the perfect opportunity, don’t you think?”

“Maybe you’re right,” she says with sigh, appreciating your comfort and wisdom. She’s glad to have you, and she knows you feel the same.

You part from your hug and give her a reassuring smile. “I have to head back to the palace now for a meeting with your father and the Northern siblings, but please feel free to stay in here as long as you’d like.”

She watches you depart from the room before turning her attention to the portrait before her. The image depicts a family from before the war, the mother and daughter brushing the animal pelts while the father and son cook freshly caught fish over the fire. They look happy, and Katara begins to feel her chest ache.

~~~

It’s a peaceful day in the Fire Nation as Zuko sits in the gardens and enjoys a cup of tea with his Uncle. It’s certainly been a stressful past few years, so he’s learned to enjoy calm and quiet moments like these where he can finally stop to catch his breath.

A servant approaches the table and bows in respect before offering the Fire Lord a scroll. “This just arrived from the South, sir.”

“Thank you,” he says, taking the scroll before dismissing the servant.

“A letter from the Princess?” Iroh asks with a curious smile, and based on the longing look that plays upon Zuko’s features as he reads the letter, the general confirms his guess to be correct.

“My love, I hope things in the Fire Nation are running smoothly. As you know, Hakoda has invited you for a conference that is to occur in just a few days. However, I’m hosting a celebration tomorrow for Katara and Sokka’s return home, and I would love for you to arrive early and attend! I hope to see you soon, Zuko. Yours truly, y/n.”

Smiling faintly, Zuko tucks the scroll away before looking to his Uncle. “Would you be able to look after things for a few extra days while I’m gone? It appears I’ll be taking my leave to the South earlier than expected.”

“Of course, nephew,” Iroh smiles cordially. “I would like nothing more than to allow you the chance to relax and enjoy some time with your beloved. Please do give the Princess my best.”

“Thank you, Uncle,” the Fire Lord says before excusing himself from the table and heading inside to prepare for his departure.

After months of waiting, Zuko is finally going to be reunited with the one he loves most.

| atla tags: @sirkekselord @niktwazny303

| zuko tags: @ilovespideyyy @yiyibetch @eridanuswave @lammello @a-monsters-love @taeeemin @lora21 @livelaughlovekuni @lovialy

| fire lilies tags: @emberislandplayers @kikaninchen-2 @music-geek19 @thia-aep @thyunnamed @haylaansmi @nataliahaslosthershit @idkdude776 @aangsupremacy @thirstyforsometea @ihaveaproblem98 @brown-eyed-thang @xapham @misnmatchedsox @chewymoustachio @that-bucket-hat-gal @chilifrylizard2 @kyomihann @kaylove12 @kiwihoee @freggietale @moon-spirit-yue @bubblegum-bee-otch @docackerman @rinalsword

#fire lilies #north and south #zuko #zuko x reader #zuko imagine #prince zuko #prince zuko x reader #prince zuko imagine #katara #sokka #atla #atla x reader #atla imagine #avatar the last airbender

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flufffilleddonut · 2 months

Text

Radio Waves - Part 2

Summary - Nobody believes Vox when he tells them about his encounter with Alastor. He wonders why the Radio Demon allowed him to attack, yet, unbeknownst to Vox, Alastor intends on teaching him why.

Word count - 1000

Vox, Velvette and Valentino were in the shared lounge of the V Tower. Velvette and Valentino were sitting on the couches, scrolling through their phones, while Vox was standing, desperately trying to convince them of his story.

“I’m telling you! I completely destroyed him!” Vox pleaded to the other Vees, who were only half-listening to him.

“Pics or it didn’t happen.” Velvette remarked, her eyes not leaving her phone.

“I already told you,” Vox said, clearly annoyed, “when I reached for my phone, he combined with the shadows and disappeared!”

“If he could have gotten away that easily, there’s no way he would have let you get any further than pinning him down.” Valentino said flatly, also not looking away from his screen.

“That’s why it’s so strange! He LET me tickle him to bits!” Vox began stomping the floor with his foot. “He did, he DID, HE DID!”

Valentino and Velvette shared a look.

“We have important things to do, Vox. We can’t sit around listening to whatever stories you plan on making up next.” Velvette said, as she and Valentino stood. “Why don’t you take a nap or something. Try to get over whatever... this whole thing is.”

Vox watched as Velvette and Valentino left the room.

What’s the point of dominating your rival if nobody else saw, and the people you tell don’t believe you? Vox thought to himself.

Suddenly, Vox felt an error pop up on his head, just for a moment.

“Huh? That’s strange. I usually only get errors when…”

Oh no.

“Greetings, old pal!” Alastor said enthusiastically, manifesting from the shadows in the corner of the room.

Vox whipped around. “Alastor! How did you get in here? How long have you been here for?!”

“All in due time, my good fellow. What’s important now is that I have heard you trying to spread rumours around, involving myself. I can’t have that.”

Alastor began making his way towards Vox, who took a few steps back.

“You know as well as I do that they’re not rumours. It seems that you have nothing to worry about, though. No one believes me.”

“Be that as it may,” Alastor said as he continued to move towards Vox, “I’d prefer nobody get any… ideas, from your ramblings. I intend on shutting them down.”

“Oh yeah? And how do you plan on doing so?”

With that, Vox felt his wrists be grasped by two black tendrils. They were securely wrapped around before pulling Vox to the floor, with his arms raised above his head. Alastor waltzed over and placed himself atop Vox’s waist.

“Like this.” The Radio Demon’s grin grew, with Vox desperately pulling at his restraints.

“Don’t you dare! Get off right now! I will kill you, I will burn your hotel to the ground, I will-”

Vox’s empty threats halted when Alastor began swirling a single finger in his underarm.

“Go on~” Alastor purred.

Vox didn’t want to give Alastor what he was looking for. He kept the giggles bubbling up inside of him suppressed as he continued. “S-saw off your antlers, I- snrk!”

A sound involuntarily left Vox’s mouth as Alastor switched from swirling to light scratching.

Alastor chuckled. “Do you really think it’s wise to threaten the person already intent on reducing you to a laughing mess?” He then began using his other hand to scratch beneath Vox’s other arm.

Vox could no longer keep silent. He began giggling madly.

“Nohohoho! Alastohohohor!” Vox pleaded.

“Ah, there it is! There’s nothing like watching someone try their best to avoid something, only for it to occur despite their best efforts.”

Vox attempted to kick Alastor from behind, but a tendril quickly swooped in and caught his leg before it could make impact.

“Ah, ah, ah~ that wasn’t very nice now, was it?” Alastor chimed. “You’ve earned what’s coming to you.”

Alastor moved his hands to Vox’s ribs, digging his fingers in and raking them across with no mercy.

Vox was moved to complete, full-fledged laughter.

“NAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAL, STAHAHAP!”

“Oh dear, I think that this television is broken. The volume appears to be stuck at the highest setting, and there’s nothing that can be done to fix it.”

Vox simply continued laughing, unable to further protest while such a sensitive area was being attacked. Things got worse, however, when one of Alastor’s little minions appeared, surrounded by a green glow.

The creature hurried over to Vox’s head, removing his hat and beginning to play with his antennae.

Vox, in hysterics, shook his head from side-to-side in an effort to remove the creature, but it clung tightly and didn’t let up.

This continued for a few more minutes, until a voice could be heard within the tower, heading for the lounge.

“Vox! Where in the world are you?! Our meeting started 10 minutes ago and I’m sick of waiting!”

It was Velvette. Vox had completely forgotten about their meeting that afternoon, not that it mattered due to his current situation.

Alastor slowed his hands to a stop, removing them from Vox’s figure. His minion disappeared and Alastor picked up Vox’s hat, replacing it on his head.

Vox was regaining his breath as Alastor leaned down to his head and spoke in a low tone, saying, “Now you know why I made the choices that I did.”

With that, Alastor got off of Vox, removed the tendrils from his wrists and stepped back, fading into the shadows.

Velvette burst into the room and was greeted by a flushed, winded Vox on the ground.

“Vox! Are you coming or not?” She questioned angrily.

“I will be right there, my dear!” Vox responded with a smile, Velvette then leaving in a huff.

Alastor was right. Vox now understood why Alastor had allowed the events of the other day to transpire.

That was amazing.

#lee!vox #ler!alastor #hazbin hotel tickle

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graceylacey · 1 month

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is laios touden happy?

I keep coming back to the question that a lot of Dungeon Meshi (manga) fans seem to be asking: is Laios happy at the end?

My two cents on this is: well, yeah. He actually is.

He’s sacrificed a lot, it seems, far more than all of the other characters. He’s the driving force behind the reason they survived to save Falin - through eating the monsters. Only in the end, he’s not able to explore dungeons, be near monsters (RIP his special interest) or even eat without feeling 30% empty. It’s a real tough bargain.

But that’s the whole point. And that loss makes the story so much more impactful to me.

When talking with the Winged Lion at the end, Laios’ true desires appear. But we can see through Mithrun, Thistle and Marcille’s time as Dungeon Lords that The Winged Lion seems to expose really selfish wishes that, whilst having good intent, don’t end up benefiting others the way the Dungeon Lord wants.

Obvious as it may seem, Laios’ true main wish IS to save Falin over the course of his storyline. It’s what drives him despite having other, arguably impossible, desires that he longs for.

Even though Laios wishes to become a monster, this desire has never overtaken his motivation in any other part of the narrative.

Yes, he loses a lot. But he’s gained Falin.

It seems obvious, but that’s the key to why I think this is a good ending for him. It’s about sacrifice. Itsusumi is a great microcosm for this - you have to do things you don’t want to do, eat things you don’t want to eat. You also have to give up things you don’t want to in order to gain more.

The similarity between Dungeon Meshi and Fullmetal Alchemist (manga) is wonderful to me. Both stories explore the giving and taking of life and the goals of our lives.

At FMA’s conclusion, Ed sacrifices his ability to do alchemy; the reason the whole story started. It cost him and Al so much, but also helped them recover what they’d lost and literally save the world (are we starting to see the similarity?). Whenever I reread FMA, it’s sometimes hard watching Ed give up all his talent and everything he worked towards. What does he have without it? But for him, in that moment, it’s not such a difficult price to pay to get his brother back.

Maybe Laios is not aware of how much he would lose when he defeats the Winged Lion. But we do know he wants his friends and Falin to be saved, even if he dies. But that’s the thing! Both he and Falin are prepared to die to save their loved ones, but what about being prepared to LIVE to save their loved ones?

In our lives, we won’t often be sacrificing our lives for people, but we might be faced with a choice to give up things we love for people we love. Losing his life would be the easy way out (a great example of this is through Mithrun. It takes conscious effort to live. It seems so much simpler to die). Losing your dreams is hard, but that’s what it ended up costing for the safety of not just Laios’ friends but the world. He made that choice, now he must live with it. Even if he’s not fully happy at the end of the narrative, he still can be. You can be happy without having everything you desperately desire. That’s Dungeon Meshi.

Dungeon Meshi’s theme of neurodivergence fit into this really well. Personally, I think Laios is the perfect person to become King, possibly because he doesn’t think he should be. We know it’s not necessarily what he wants to do most. Heck, we know he doesn’t even like people that much and they don’t even seem to like him. But that’s what will make him the perfect candidate. Unlike others, he doesn’t have some high and mighty vision of becoming revolutionary at the end, nor does he have misconceptions about his abilities. He is genuinely righteous and humble, whilst having his flaws.

Laios knows what it’s like to feel different, outcasted by the world. But despite being awkward, strange, having weird interests and an inability to read social cues; people that once hated him ultimately end up having his back. There are bound to be others like him in his world (and ours), who don’t feel like they belong within humanity. People that would want a benevolent leader who genuinely cares and is enthused about things that don’t fit the norm because he doesn’t either.

It’s not his dream job but I believe he will eventually settle into it. We see this in the extra chapter where he willingly gives up his sword. That hit me hard. It felt a bit like a betrayal, like he was giving up who he was and everything he had worked for. But maybe it just shows that it’s okay that he couldn’t achieve all his desires. At least now Falin can achieve hers, and wasn’t that his fear for so long? That she would be lost and alone without him?

But now, because of Laios, Falin has the ability to choose her own path. She can choose make to leave as he once left her without the fear and guilt that Laois felt with his own departure. It shows both of them that it’s okay for them to take separate paths. They can grow and change and love each other from wherever they are. That protection, that survival and that connection between people is at the heart of Dungeon Meshi to me.

Both Laios and Falin choose to live. When Laios eats the Winged Lion’s appetite and Falin returns it’s down to their own decision. The choice to eat; the choice to experience life the way it was intended, with all its thorns. When they eat the monstrous parts of themselves they choose to be human, they choose the consequences of life, they choose to change and to go forwards. They are two sides of the same coin.

It seems only just that after all Laios has been through and after all we’ve seen him do, he should be allowed a perfect happy ending. But that’s just not Dungeon Meshi, is it?

There will always be sacrifices. Dungeon Meshi is not just about accepting life and death, but also accepting the possibility that you may not achieve everything you want, that things will not always go to plan but that you can always achieve other things despite this.

Laios has made his choice to become King. Just like the choice to eat, it’s another part of life and of moving forward. Think of all the good he could do. I think he can be happy. That’s life.

#dungeon meshi #laios touden #falin touden #delicious in dungeon #mithrun #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #first post

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querenciasturniolo · 9 months

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hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii❤️❤️ i love your chris fics, could you write one about how y/n has been best friends with the triplets for a while now & has been on their podcasts and also in their car videos but her and chris has had a secret relationship but fans start speculating when a photo surfaces of her & chris having matching nails painted?? like maybe hers is green with a black heart on one finger and his is black with a green heart? thank you!!

slip ⮕ c.s.

word count: 1.1k

warnings: secret relationship, angst, comfort, she/her pronouns

summary: you’re feeling a little overwhelmed with hiding your relationship, but chris knows exactly what to do

a/n: this was very cute to write, and i LOVED it 💓 i couldn’t find a good reference picture for your exact idea, so i changed it just a smidge xx

everything written is completely fictional. the people i write for are written with characteristics and mannerisms that i made for them, this is in no way depicting what would actually happen in real life.

“Nick, what did you post?”

Nick looked up from his phone and frowned.

“What do you mean?”

You opened your phone, hundreds of notifications flying in at once on your most recent post. “I’m getting like, a million comments about me and Chris. Did you say anything?” You asked. You knew he didn’t but you were confused as to why everyone was asking about your relationship.

“Of course not, it’s just a photo of all of our hands making a star.” He said, standing up and walking towards you. You clicked on Nick’s story, seeing the photo of all of your nails and sighing.

“I didn’t realize how obvious it was.” You grumbled, locking your phone and rubbing your hand over your eyes.

“Do you want me to delete it?” He asked. You shook your head.

“No, no. It’s fine, really.” You said. “It just caught me off guard, you know?”

You’d never really been in the limelight, ever. Their social media presence always baffled you, especially when you and Chris had gotten together. You’d known them forever, but it still confused you.

It wasn’t until your followers started growing out of nowhere that you realized how much impact that they truly had. Seeing the enormous amount of people who were crazy about them who also wanted to see more of you in videos was…shocking, to say the least. You also didn’t understand how perceptive fans could be.

Every other comment was about the way Chris looked at you, and how when you started speaking, even if he was in the middle of talking, he’d stop and listen intently. You’d seen countless edits on Tiktok of you and Chris, the way both of your eyes lit up when talking to each other, whether you were in the background of a video or front and center.

It was crazy, seeing the way these people were completely right about something that you and Chris hadn’t even hinted at.

Nick sighed and shook his head. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t even thinking about your matching nails.”

“No, no. Don’t apologize, it’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting the uproar.” You said, laughing quietly to yourself. “It’s really no big deal, honest. Don’t beat yourself up about it, it’ll be fine. It’s more suspicious if you delete it, anyway.” You said, resting your hand on Nick’s shoulder.

You pulled away and gestured towards the stairs. “I’m gonna go talk to Chris, I’ll see you later.” You said, Nick nodding his head. The last thing you wanted was to upset him, but you knew he’d be okay. You walked up the stairs to Chris’ room, dropping down on his bed next to him and looking over at him. He looked over at you, his eyebrows raised.

“Well, hello. What’s up?” He asked, locking his phone and dropping it on his chest.

You sighed through your nose and shrugged, looking up at the ceiling. It was hard, keeping this secret. You knew it was for the best right now, but you wished you could show off your boyfriend like other people.

“That was convincing. What’s going on, love?” He asked, turning onto his side and propping his head up on his hand and looking down at you.

You met his eyes again, nothing but concern shimmering in the icy blue of his iris’. You sighed again and shook your head.

“How long are we gonna keep hiding this?” You asked, your voice small. “Are you…ashamed of me?” You felt pathetic asking him something like that. He’d never made you feel that way, but you couldn’t help but wonder.

He frowned down at you, his jaw slack before he spoke. “Of course not, where did that come from?” He asked, resting his free hand over you and pulling you closer to him. He rested next to you, pulling you until your arm was wrapped around him and your head was resting on his chest.

“It’s stupid, forget I said anything.” You said, relaxing completely when his fingers began carding through your hair. His free hand entwined in yours, his thumb lightly running over your knuckles at a steady pace.

“Well, I’m not going to forget about anything. My girl thinks I’m ashamed of her, and I want to know what made her feel that way.” He said, your heart skipping a beat at the title. You looked down at both of your hands, smiling at the little frogs on his last three fingers. He had playfully whined about how the frogs would look goofy, but eventually admitted that it reminded him of Frog and Toad, and he was glad he did it.

“I just…I want to be able to show you off, you know? I know you want to keep it a secret, and that’s fine and I understand. It’s just…I want to be able to post pictures for our friends and families to see, if that makes any sense.” You rambled.

Chris was quiet for a while, but you could tell he was thinking. It wasn’t often that he was quiet, but you knew that when he was, he was genuinely trying to think of the best way to answer a question or the best solution to an issue. He sat up then, pulling himself from you quickly and adjusting a pillow to rest against his bed frame. You watched as he leaned back and met your eyes, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He patted the mattress between his knees.

“Come here.” He said. You chuckled and shook your head but complied. Your back was resting against his chest. He rested his hand over yours, entwining your fingers and lifting your hand up. “Straighten your hand.” He said, his voice soft. You smiled, and turned your head to look at him, but did as he said. He straightened his as well, both of your nails on display. He picked his phone up off of the mattress and opened his camera. The camera flashed, your brows furrowed as he let go of your hand and opened Instagram.

“What are you doing?” You asked. He shushed you as he created a new post and clicked on the picture. Your heart rate spiked as he typed a caption, tagged you in the photo and hit post. You pulled away from him as he locked his phone, your eyes wide as you met his. “Why did you do that?” You whispered.

Chris’ smile was contagious, your own making its way across your face as he shrugged his shoulders.

“My finger slipped.”

You shook your head at him, your heart feeling like it was going to burst as you leaned in and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose.

“I love you, you dork.” You whispered, Chris practically beaming up at you.

“I love you, too.” He said, his voice almost lower than yours.

You could feel the vibration of his phone against the mattress, your own phone going crazy in your pocket, but you didn’t care. It hit you just then why people were so crazy about him—because how could they not be?

#chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo triplets

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matan4il · 1 year

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Buddie 618 meta

Since this could have been the show finale, not just this season’s, I hope you allow me to do a small overview of the ep as a whole with this in mind.

I’m gonna be honest, I want to send ABC a bouquet of flowers, because if this would have been the show’s last ep, it would have been an incredibly disappointing one. Not that it didn’t have merit. 911 has always been about the importance of the good that we do - for ourselves, for our loved ones and for strangers. That’s why the significance of this ep’s emergency was actually great. We got to see the 118 saving themselves, each other and be saved by a complete stranger, who wouldn’t have been there if it weren’t for the 118 saving him four seasons earlier. My issue with it is that it would have been better IMO to spread out this emergency over two eps, really give it room to resonate emotionally, in much the same way that Buck’s lightning strike did. That would have also left more airtime for the team’s personal lives to get closure.

When looking at the personal resolution to the 118’s stories, I did like the return to Henren’s adoption via foster care storyline, it needed closure and I’m so happy this is the one it got. I have talked in more than one fandom about the importance of showing how same sex couples ACTUALLY go about becoming parents, so I think this is extra significant. I can’t wait to see this not just being a wink at the end of a show finale, but an actually developed storyline in s7. I also think “Here’s to more chaos and more love” is my fave line in this ep and a perfect summary of the best of 911. I also loved Bathena getting to go on their honeymoon, getting to live carefree for a moment. They absolutely deserve this, and it felt even better thanks to being a callback moment. I also enjoyed seeing Madney seal the details of their wedding. I have loved and enjoyed them since Maddie called Chim cute in 206, they deserve all the happiness and joy, and to me, having to see her twice this season bracing herself for the possibility of losing Buck and / or Chim (in 611 and now) made it even more meaningful to see Madney happy by the end of the ep. Again, I can’t wait to see the actual wedding in s7. It’s gonna melt all of our hearts. Still, all of these resolutions felt a bit rushed and I believe they could have had more of an impact if they were more than blink and you miss it moments during the final montage.

But if those felt underdeveloped, that’s nothing in comparison with Buck and Eddie’s personal lives’ resolutions. Was 911 really going to leave them with the “endgame” of women who literally only showed up as Love Interests in the last couple of eps of the show? If I weren’t a part of fandom, as a casual viewer, I would sincerely not have even remembered Marisol from her emergency, so I would have been confused by her and Eddie’s conversation. In fact, I found it funny that when Eddie wants to text her, it’s presented as a disruption to Bobby’s talk, just like Buck’s call with Kameron. I also thought it was wild that we discover Marisol and Eddie exchanged numbers, because that most certainly wasn’t even hinted at during 617. We clearly saw him walking away, they exchanged a last look, and that was it. Eddie and Marisol are so underdeveloped, we don’t even know how they happened! Did Marisol rush after Eddie? Did he come back to ask her for her number? Did they both decide to take the leap? How did the conversation go? Why was their phone call in 618 so awkward if they had already made their intentions clear when they exchanged numbers? We have zero answers to these questions. This was so forced, so unearned, so underdeveloped, it makes it painfully obvious that it was done just to not leave Eddie heterosexually single. Because I’m sorry, homosubtextually, he’s been married for years.

Which brings me to Buck and Natalia. I gotta roll my eyes at my own 615 meta, where I talked about the meaning of her name connecting her to birth, now we literally had her at the birth of Buck’s bio kid. What a piece of ironic foreshadowing. And yet, despite Natalia being a bit more developed than Marisol, despite the fact that Buck had what was maybe the most invested in personal resolution in the finale, it was still a let down for me. We have mostly seen why Natalia doesn’t suit him in eps 615 and 617. She did come back in the finale, but then so did Taylor in 414. That doesn’t mean either woman fits Buck as a partner. I’m left with the uneasy feeling that we have here a rerun of that s4 finale in terms of the ep shoving both men into relationships with underdeveloped LIs. TBH, the juxtaposition makes 618 worse IMO. Because the comparison with Marisol and Natalia actually makes Ana and Taylor look slightly more invested in! That says a lot about how little 911 cares about the 618 LIs. But it also gives me this bad sense of stepping in place with Buck and Eddie in terms of their romantic development. For example, the fact that Buck ends up tying yet another one of his couches to yet another gf at a way too early stage of their r/s (too much time couldn’t have passed between Kameron giving birth, ruining Buck’s couch, and his conversation about getting a couch together with Natalia since he was just getting around to having the old one looked at to see if it could be saved. He’s once again rushing into commitment with a girl he doesn’t yet know well enough, and who we saw in 615 he was idolizing as truly seeing him, when the truth was very different or she wouldn’t have run out on him in 617. I also can’t tell you why Natalia came back based on the few interactions we’ve seen between them, we haven’t had a single meaningful moment between them so far to explain it, making it clear he’s going in circles. I do suspect Buck doesn’t realize this is him repeating past mistakes, he thinks this is progress given his ability to let go of the baby, which could be an interesting angle to explore in s7. But probably what makes giving Buddie rushed heterosexual “endgame” LIs worse is that every bit of development either man made that isn’t about their love life got sidelined in this ep...

I think in a sense, the underdevelopment of all of Buck and Eddie’s LIs, even the “endgame” ones in what could have been the show’s finale, might actually be a testament to the power of Buddie. If a showrunner knows they could never hope to develop any LI to have with either Buck or Eddie even a tenth of what they have with each other, that can explain not even trying. In fact, we got a reminder of the strong bond between these two men during the call. Buck saved Eddie, just as Eddie saved Buck during the lightning strike. The way they looked at each other, the zoom in on their hands grasping one another, was very emotionally poignant exactly because we have seen these two losing their whole damn minds trying to save the other man on more than one occasion. And Buck used the words “I got you,” a reminder that they will ALWAYS have each other’s back, on and off the field.

The good news is that ABC has a chance to correct the course of where this finale left off. I do believe the move is being done knowing they would have to rejuvenate 911 if they want it to fare better than on Fox, and I think that giving Buddie the room to become canon would be exactly that. But I have said in more than one of my ask replies that to me, no matter what, this show has been telling the epic love story of Buck and Eddie, with the little family they built. Whether TPTB go through with that canonically or not, this is what they gave us. And nothing will take that away from me. If 911 ends with Buddie being single, I’ll just assume their feelings realization and confessions happen after the end of the show. If 911 ends with “endgame” heterosexual LIs, I’ll just know that those couples eventually break up at some point during the 118’s post-show future, and then Buddie finally get together. Because that’s the story we got over the course of the last 5 seasons, one that only has a single possible resolution, whether the show itself gives it to us or whether it forces us to have to imagine and write it down in fix-it fics ourselves. We ALL know what we saw. We ALL get what Buddie have. We ALL see how that inevitably would lead to them getting together sooner or later, and if it doesn’t happen during the show, then later it is, but it WILL happen. That’s how I look at the show, and that’s why even if this were the last ep of it, it still wouldn’t have destroyed Buddie for me. I hope this POV can help others, too.

~~ I’m gonna be here during the hiatus, if anyone wants to be here with me. Thank you so much to all of you who made s6 a lovelier ride by taking it with me! I’m endlessly grateful for every single one of you. xoxox

~~ (my weekly meta posts) (my Buddie gifs) (all of my content)

~~ My tag list will follow in the reblog, please let me know if you wanna be added/removed here.

~~ Thank you to the amazing @whosoldherout for making this season so much better with your gifs, for these meta posts and in general!

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lostyesterday · 5 months

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There’s an ethical question in Star Trek I’ve seen several people here talk about that I’ve thought about a lot. Basically, what are the ethics of having a romantic or sexual relationship with a non-sentient holographic version of a real person? This issue is brought up several times in canon, but never dealt with well, in my opinion. The main canon discussions of this topic that I remember (and it’s possible I forgot something) are in Booby Trap (TNG) where Geordi has a very brief romantic relationship with a holographic version of a real woman he’s never met, in Hollow Pursuits (TNG) where Barclay presumably has romantic/sexual relationships with extremely out of character holographic versions of Deanna and Beverly, in Meridian (DS9) where a guy wants Quark to sell him a holographic version of Kira to have sex with, and in Human Error (VOY) where Seven has a semi-long-term romantic and sexual relationship with a holographic version of Chakotay.

So, first of all, I don’t think that any of those instances mentioned are morally okay. Booby Trap is the most complicated case morally speaking since, to my memory, Geordi didn’t intentionally initiate anything romantic, though he didn’t stop it once it started either. I don’t want to imply that what Geordi did is morally as bad as the other examples I’m discussing, especially since Geordi is the only character of color being discussed here and his actions are not really equivalent in intention or impact to the other characters’. As an episode, Booby Trap doesn’t seem to have a clear idea of whether or not what Geordi is doing is unethical. In fact, it felt to me as if that question wasn’t something that occurred to the writers at all (until Galaxy’s Child, but that’s a whole other thing and the hologram portion of it is arguably the least messed up thing there, so I’m ignoring it in relation to this topic). Hollow Pursuits does portray what Barclay does negatively, but I feel like the episode is much more concerned with the negative emotional effects this has for Barclay rather than for Deanna and Beverly. Meridian, from what I remember, is the only episode to portray this situation as definitively bad, and Kira is portrayed as justified in being angry. However, the episode is a mess in other ways and does not explore the topic with nuance, making light of it with humor when I think it needed to be taken more seriously. Human Error is in some ways the most baffling case here because what Seven does is portrayed almost positively, as something that is a potentially good step in Seven’s “social development”. Apparently, there is no thought given to what Chakotay would think of the situation. I’ve seen people suggest that the narrative and fandom treatment of Seven versus the other characters is a gendered double standard, which I do think makes sense.

But the problem here isn’t having a sexual/romantic relationship with a hologram, the problem is that the person didn’t consent to having their holographic image used this way. There’s obviously nothing wrong with having sex or a relationship with a hologram not based on anyone’s image, or based on the image of someone who gave clear consent to have their image used in that way. But using someone’s image this way without their consent is pretty obviously analogous to making nonconsensual porn of someone. Do the ethics of this situation change if the hologram is of a historical figure? What about a famous person who is still alive? I don’t necessarily have answers here, but I do think the situation can become more complicated.

And then there’s another factor to consider – is the sexual/romantic relationship the biggest issue here? In the cases of Hollow Pursuits and Human Error, Barclay and Seven’s simulations of the crew are much more extensive than just the romantic/sexual portions. Would it have been all right for Barclay to create potentially offensive and demeaning holographic versions of his crewmates if there was no romantic/sexual component? Would it be okay for Seven to recreate a version of every Voyager crew member and live out an intricate alternate life with them without any of their consent if she never had romantic/sexual relationships with any of them? Is it any less a violation of someone’s rights to use their image without consent for, say, a propaganda campaign for an issue they disagree with, or a story that portrays their holographic version as a horrible person? That second scenario is the plot of the Voyager episode Author Author. This episode seems to take the moral stance that it’s bad for the Doctor to use the images of his fellow Voyager crew members to portray horrible characters, but there are other questions it doesn’t raise. Would it have been okay for the Doctor to use their images without consent if he had portrayed their holographic versions positively? What is the line between an acceptable and unacceptable usage of another person’s image without their consent? Is it ever okay to use a person’s holographic image without their consent? Is such consent implied when a person agrees to holographic scans of their body? What exactly is one consenting to when they consent to have a holographic version of themself created? I don’t necessarily have answers to these questions, I just wish any of these episodes had explored these issues with more nuance. And I do think that it’s important to consider extending the question of consent here beyond sex and romance.

#star trek tng #star trek ds9 #star trek voy #i do not mean any of this to be an attack on geordi seven barclay or the doctor as characters #i think all of this is more reflective of biases on the part of the writers than anything else #and it’s hard to place complete blame on particular characters when the moral stances of the episodes are so murky #lane posts

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white-poppie · 7 months

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⎯ I’ll be lovin’ you right ♡ (m.atsumu x reader)

SYNOPSIS: The playboy of your high school, Atsumu Miya apparently has a thing for you. After having rejected his advances, Atsumu is 'heartbroken' (quotes intended). Seeing his melancholy, his brother Osamu tells you to give him a week to prove himself out of the playboy image. Can Atsumu prove his adoration towards you being pure without any other intentions in seven days a week? SONG REC: 'Seven' by Jungkook GENRE: FLUFF, long fic WC: 2.1k WARNINGS: sad sumu agenda, heights, it might seem wonky on Monday and Tuesday, but it gets so much better ୨୧ A/N: I AM SO TIRED I CAN"T ANYMORE!!! *dies dramatically*

You rejected Atsumu Miya last Friday.

The taller blonde stood in front of you in his gym clothes. The jersey #05 in white stood out from the rest of the maroon uniform.

You looked at him blankly, as he had been beating around the bush for the past few minutes. You were hungry; it was lunch. But, as a matter of habit, you were curious. Too curious for your own good. As he continued to talk, he became increasingly vague. You wanted to understand what he was trying to say, but your hunger took over, and you were losing patience.

“Atsumu, I am sorry but I don’t really get what you are talking about. How is Suna looking through your phone relevant?” You say with a pinch of annoyance in your voice. Atsumu sighs and takes a deep breath.

“My bad...what I mean is…I like you and everyone teases me for it 'cause I act like an idiot around you.” You are always an idiot is what you want to say but you purse your lips and look at him quizzically. Is he seriously confessing to you because he dislikes being teased by his team?

“I am sorry but I don’t think your feelings are sincere, Atsumu san,” you say respectfully. “I am sorry.” You feel like he is only confessing to you out of a desire to fit in with his friends and avoid their teasing, rather than out of genuine affection for you.

Atsumu frowns and nods. It’s not something he is used to, but he doesn’t protest even if it really hurts his ego. You sigh as you leave the gym, almost feeling sorry for him. If it weren't you, it would be someone else.

On Saturday, you meet Osamu at the supermarket. Awkwardly standing at the cashier line, the grey-haired Miya smiles softly at you and nods in acknowledgement. The air is heavy with tension as both of you silently pay for your groceries.

"Y/N," he says, and you pause in your tracks, about to leave. "Can we talk?" It's a dreaded notion that you nod at. You follow Osamu out of the market with your grocery bag in one hand as you approach a bench on a kid's playground.

Osamu sits next to you, his back leaning on the rest casually as he tries to muster the softest voice possible in his Kanto dialect.

“Heard ‘Sumu asked ya to date him…” he says solemnly. You freeze at the sudden statement and nod apprehensively.

“M not saying this cause he’s my brother, but Atsumu…he is a nice guy; his reputation is quite wrong from how he actually is.” He says and you almost have to double take, wait…Osamu is supporting Atsumu?

He interlaces his fingers and looks at the ground, “I’ve never seen him as serious about someone as he is for you, and the whole team notices it.” He pauses, “Atsumu is cocky but easily embarrassed when teased about stuff like this, he made a premature decision to have confessed to you.”

Osamu takes a deep breath before speaking next, "Y/n I am asking you for a favour…I want you to give Atsumu seven days to prove himself.” Your eyebrows scrunch at his words, and before you can interject, he speaks again.

“I know it’s not the best idea, but I know him and as much as I enjoy Atsumu being sad, I know he’ll soon enough be miserable ⎯ because that’s how men are, they lose their chance with someone and then develop stronger feelings for that person causing it all to hurt more.” He says and pauses, “it will impact his career to Y/N, not that I am saying that you’re responsible for him, but just stating things.”

“Give yourself some time to think and text me if you are for giving him seven days to prove himself. Let me know tomorrow.”

On Sunday, you spend most of the morning staring at your ceiling. Pondering what Osamu said You know deep down that he wouldn't steer you wrong, and you have seen how sincere Osamu is in his opinions.

You take a deep breath and send a quick text to Osamu.

"I'm in."

And thus started the mission: to make you fall in love with Atsumu Miya in seven days.

Monday

You sigh as you close the door of your house behind you, only to find Atsumu standing right in front, his schoolbag on one shoulder, and the trademark Atsumu grin on his face: "Morning, Y/N!"

Your eyebrows scrunch at his sudden joyful declaration, "Morning." You reply, and then it hits you: How did he know where you lived?

"How do you know my address?" You ask in bewilderment, and he grins sheepishly.

"I asked my way around; I wanted to pick you up, so I left at 5," he says proudly, and you just stare at him, unsure how to react. The intention was sweet, but does he realise how creepy that is?

You smile awkwardly and nod, walking towards school as Atsumu follows you like a duckling, humming a 00's song. As vexatious as it might be, there was something oddly endearing about Atsumu's unconventional way to win you over, like a pathetic wet kitten.

"Y/N?" he says as you look towards him. "Wanna grab lunch after school tomorrow? I have practice almost the entire day today." You hesitate for a moment, unsure if you should accept his invitation. The thought of spending more time with Atsumu both intrigues and scares you. "Sure, why not? Lunch sounds nice."

Tuesday

On Tuesday, you find yourself anxiously awaiting lunchtime, your mind filled with a mix of excitement and nerves. As the final bell rings, you make your way to the designated meeting spot, hoping that Atsumu will show up. And sure enough, there he is, standing by the school gates with a mischievous grin on his face.

"I know a good ramen shop nearby," he says, and you smile while walking with him. As you enter the small, cosy restaurant, the aroma of savoury broth and freshly cooked noodles fills the air, instantly making your mouth water. Atsumu confidently orders for both of you.

The order arrives, and you take a bite of the hot noodles, your eyes instantly widening in delight. "Holy this is amazing; why is this place so underrated?" You gasp, and he chuckles at your words as if you are the most adorable thing in the world.

You almost blush at his gaze before it hits you, its a challenge for him. You are a challenge to him. There's a dull pain in your chest as you keep eating your ramen. The more you eat, the more you can't help but wonder if Atsumu's intentions are genuine. Is he truly interested in you or is he just looking for another conquest?

Wednesday

You notice that Atsumu is ignoring you completely today. He doesn't even acknowledge your presence when you walk into the room. It leaves you feeling confused and hurt. You try to brush it off, convincing yourself that maybe he's just having a bad day. But deep down, you can't shake off the feeling of being used and toyed with.

The school ends, and you are walking to your home before you feel your hand being grabbed. You turn around in panic and see Atsumu, his eyes softening at your distress as he realises your hand.

"I want to talk to you," he says softly. his eyes, filled with genuine concern, melt away any resistance within you.

"Okay," you reply, finally feeling ready to address the mixed signals and confusion that have left you feeling hurt.

"The way you were looking at me yesterday made me think that you were misunderstanding my intentions here." He says and takes a deep breath, "I genuinely like you, YN. I am not stupid. I can see your confusion. Do you really think I am that bad of a person?"/ The vulnerability and hurt in his voice are almost making your heart ache. "No," you reply softly, meeting his gaze. "I don't think you're a bad person. I just... I've been so confused, and I didn't know how to interpret your actions."

"Why?" he asks.

"Because you play with hearts, and I didn't want mine to be another casualty," you admit, your voice wavering. "But seeing how vulnerable and honest you're being right now, I can't help but reconsider." Emotions swirl within you as you take a moment to gather your thoughts. "I want to believe that you genuinely like me, but I need reassurance that I won't end up getting hurt."

Atsumu smiles at you, reconsidering, and says softly, "It's one week, right? It's not even halfway; don't you know I am full of surprises?"

Thursday

"Come on, it'll be okay!" He says as he grabs your hand and runs to the school roof with you, your lunchboxes in hand.

"What if someone catches us?" You say in panic.

Atsumu looks at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes and laughs. "Who cares? We'll worry about the consequences later, if there are any." He says and settles on the ledge, patting the spot next to him for you to sit on.

You gingerly open your bento as you two eat and Atsumu rants about his practice, occasionally stealing a bite or two from your box You can't help but laugh at Atsumu's playful antics, feeling the stress of getting caught dissipate. As he swipes another bite from your lunch, you playfully scold him, but secretly enjoy the exchange.

You take a deep breath, feeling the adrenaline rush through your veins. As you gaze out at the sprawling cityscape before you, you can't help but feel a sense of freedom and excitement. In that moment, you realise that maybe taking risks with Atsumu isn't such a bad idea after all.

Friday

Atsumu sits in another row, leaning back on his chair, big and burly, his hand resting on the chair's backrest as he chats with his friends, his obnoxious laughter filling the room as you wait for the teacher.

Atsumu momentarily looks at you, and his eyes soften. A small grin is etching its way on his face, and he waves playfully at you. You got caught looking.

The class soon starts, and the teacher begins the lesson. About half an hour later, you feel tapping on your shoulder. You look back as the girl behind you gives you a small chit, pointing towards Atsumu, wordlessly, the author of the message.

You unfold the tiny piece of paper underneath your desk, preventing any onlookers with their perverse gazes and loud mouths. "Whatcha looking at?" You huff at his lame attempt, a slight warmth blooming on your cheeks as you contemplate your response. After a moment of hesitation, you take out your own pen and scribble a reply on the chit, "Not you."

"Ouchie, baby, you've hurt my feelings."Atsumu pouts, making an exaggerated sad face, as he pretends to wipe away imaginary tears as he hands the chit back to you. You chuckle softly at his antics as he sends another chit. "We have a match on Sunday; be there." You raise an eyebrow at his invitation. "Only if you promise not to show off too much." Atsumu grins mischievously, accepting the challenge with a nod.

Saturday

Most of Saturday goes around with you frolicking around your house, getting over your chores. You decide not to text Atsumu, knowing that he will be busy with practice, but you find yourself mulling over him more than you'd like. As the day goes on, you find yourself checking your phone more frequently, hoping for a message from him.

You groan as you flop on your bed and take a deep breath. "Here goes nothing."

How's [delete] That's too informal, right?

How is practice going? [delete] No, that sounds so plain. All those assignments about real-life talking versus texting articles were right; it's so difficult to detect tone!

Hey! [send]

How is practice going? [send]

Okay better. You sigh as you keep your phone on the stand and groan to finish your work. BEfore you hear a ping sound and immediately run over to the phone.

Atsumu: +1 photo

Your heart thumps as you open it. Its a selfie, Atsumu grinning like a child, his hair sweat and face flushed, with the caption: "grinding! 💪🔥" In the background, you can see a low-quality Osamu photobombing, his hands on his waist, and you can't help but giggle. He'll be okay.

Sunday

On Sunday, you find yourself standing outside the gymnasium, nervously adjusting your bag strap. As the doors swing open, you step inside, greeted by the sounds of sneakers squeaking on the polished floor and the echo of volleyball spikes as a warm-up.

You shift on your feet in front of the gate before Suna spots you, a fox-like grin on his face before he turns towards his teammate.

"Oi, Atsumu, your lucky charm is here," he says in a teasing voice, and you can't help but flush ever-so-slightly.

"Shut up, Suna." Atsumu groans lowly as he looks up from his stretching routine without breaking his stance, his shirt hiking up slightly as he smiles at you before walking towards you.

"Hi," he says softly, as if he was almost expecting you to not show up.

"Hi," you mumble.

"I didn't think you'd actually come," he manages to say, his words coming out in a breathless whisper, and you can't help but smile. You look back briefly to see the entire team grinning at the two of you silently.

Atsumu looks back, and you swear you saw his cheeks redden. "Scram!" he says, his voice breaking, and a few of the members can't help but snort at the sound, especially Osamu.

"Sumu, the game boutta, start," he calls his twin as you see the other team lining up.

Atsumu looks back at you with a slight pout on his lips. "Cheer f'me?" He asks softly, and your heart thumps. Atsumu hates when his fangirls cheer for him. You give Atsumu a warm smile and nod. "Of course." Is this what Osamu was talking about? You are special in his eyes?

The game begins with an intense match, with both teams clawing at each other's throats. But amidst the chaos, you can't take your eyes off Atsumu. But it's fierce; you can see Inarizaki losing hope after the first set, and you can sense Atsumu's frustration rising. Set one over, and Inarizaki is behind. You see the players huffing and groaning in disappointment as they go to the bench to strategize and relax. You keep observing Atsumu from the audience, noticing how his brows furrow and his jaw tighten with every passing moment. Despite the mounting pressure, he never loses his focus. As the second set begins, their strategy still doesn't seem to be working, and Atsumu and Osamu seem livid.

Amidst the chorus of shouts, you can't help but scream, "Atsumu! You've got this! Stay determined!" Surprised, Atsumu lifts his head and locks eyes with you for a brief moment before a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips. You silently vow to always be his biggest fan, both on and off the court.

He tightens his grip on the volleyball, channelling all his frustration and energy into each powerful serve. With every swing of his arm, the ball slices through the air, landing with a resounding thud on the opposing team's side of the court. The tension is palpable; you keep praying for him as he strikes, misses. Team strikes, team misses. Just one more, and before you can register it, the final spike is delivered by Atsumu. The crowd erupts into applause. 26-28. Inarizaki won.

The team erupts into what seem to be roars of victory, and you can't help, but smile widely when you watch Atsumu pat his teammates before Kita pats his back and points at you, saying something you can't hear. Atsumu nods at him before he runs towards the crowd, and your heart starts thumping. In your mind, you are squealing as loud as his fangirls when Atsumu leans over to the boundary right in front of you as he smiles at you, and you smile back with the same intensity for the first time.

"How was I?" He says, and you can't help but lean forward and hug him tightly. His eyes widen at the sudden embrace, and he freezes before hugging you back in his arms, all sweaty, and almost lifting you up from the audience. Atsumu looks into your eyes, his face twitching with nervousness, before he leans and captures your lips in a kiss. His breathing is shaky, and you flush before returning the kiss to his quivering lips. The audience is filled with mixed reactions, but they are silent and gasping for most

When you pull away, you look back and see all of Inarizaki hooting and clapping loudly for you two. The kiss turns both your brains into mush, and you realise that Atsumu is capable of "loving you right."

— HAIKYU!! - Fanfictions

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