#joe has ligma
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Adam: Did you know that Joe has ligma?
Lucifer, internally: If you ask what ligma is he'll just say ligma balls.
Lucifer: Who's Joe?
Adam: Joe mama!
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Best and Worst of Both Worlds (part 20)
Tw: a bunch of profanities, nothing much in this chapter , short chapter tho
Vote below, i will only count the first 20 votes
Part 21
"You are so funny, (name)!" She laughed and playfully slapped you on the shoulder.
You laughed along and continued your conversation with her.
You finished all your classes for the day. You agreed to accompany her to the cafe because you have five grand in your bank account, courtesy by Yves and you can afford to treat her and yourself.
You didn't touch the food Montgomery gave you. Neither did Evangeline, because she too suffered from bad food poisoning when eating at that takeaway. It was thrown in the trash by her, it twisted your heart a little but you knew it wasn't edible.
Yves sent you a couple of texts asking you to call him when you're free along with pictures of what he found interesting. You muted him and chose to interact with your new friend instead.
In the end, the two of you shared the same opinion of Montgomery, that he may be creepy, but ultimately harmless. It's as if you completely had the memory of him punching Yves in the face erased.
It's nice. Someone around your age that shares the same humor and interests. Someone human unlike Yves and someone socially adept unlike Montgomery.
Good god, you can't believe you somehow considered Montgomery a friend.
"Hey (name)? I got this crazy idea."
You asked her what it was.
"Let's do a prank call on Montgomery." You gasped and said no way. But your tone betrayed you, it does sound like a fun joke. As long as the proper safety measures are taken.
"It will be the funniest thing ever. C'mon, here's the plan."
The both of you huddled together and discussed her nefarious ideas.
__
Her internet sleuthing skills are impressive, to say the least. All he needed was his phone number and his first name. You managed to find out he came from a family of farmers, 20 hours by car away from the city. Montgomery has been to more than 10 cities in the past decade, working various jobs and then quitting it to move onto the next place.
He once rented an apartment, but was evicted when he couldn't pay his rent on time. So you and Evangeline assumed he was living out of his car since then.
"Oh wow. You are proactive!" Giggled Evangeline when she saw you already saved his number under "Do not answer".
She is using your phone. Evangeline dialed Montgomery's personal number and pinched her nose to create an unrecognizable nasally voice. It was set to speaker mode.
After a few seconds of ringing, someone on the other end finally picked up.
"Hello?" It's undoubtedly him, coupled with the sounds of jackhammers rattling in the background.
"Heller, is this Mr Yeller? Montgomery Elizabeth Yeller?"
"Yeah, you got the right person. Who is this?"
"Yerr, this is Anita. Do you remember me, Mr Yeller?"
There was a pause.
"No, your name ain't ringing a bell. Anita who?" He finally replied.
Evangeline struggled to stifle her giggles. "Last name, Bath."
"Anita...Bath?" Montgomery was genuinely trying to remember someone in his life named that.
"Yeah you fucking do, stinky." You and Evangeline burst out cackling.
Eventually, Montgomery caught on and became upset.
"Ha ha. Very funny, you little shits. How the hell did you get my number?"
"Through Joe!"
You and her giggled. You pressed your palm against your lips.
"...(Name)?" His voice became soft and hopeful.
Suddenly it wasn't funny anymore. You signal her to cut it out, but she squeezed your shoulder.
"Joe Mama!" She laughed so hard that she had to cradle her side.
"Of fuckin' course." Montgomery's tone returned to being unfriendly. "Don't you fuckin' kids have homework to do? Instead of wastin' y'all's time and y'all's future botherin' strangers?" He snarked.
"No, because we are smart enough to get a scholarship to Ligma!" You heard him scoff from the other side.
"The hell is Ligma? Ya think I fuckin' care if-"
"Ligma balls!" You and Evangeline had tears running down the side of your faces from chortling so hard. "Y-you fell for it three times, Mr Yeller! What the fuck?" Evangeline added between laughs.
"...Stupid good for nothin' kids." He grumbled before hanging up.
Evangeline tried calling immediately after. To your surprise, he still answered.
"I ain't playing with y'all unless you're callin' in to apologize."
"StinkySayHuh."
"Huh?"
You and her let out the loudest scream of glee that he managed to take the bait. The remainder of the call was filled with mocking laughing from you two.
"Y'all can go straight to hell." He scolded before hanging up.
You found it so hilarious despite it being juvenile humor, your howling turned silent and your face became red. You couldn't breathe from guffawing too hard.
"Again, again!" She pressed the button call on his number.
It was declined. She pouted while you're still recovering from your giggles.
She tried calling him repeatedly, but all other attempts went to voicemail. His phone wouldn't receive any texts either.
"Aw, looks like he blocked you." Evangeline handed your phone back to you. Grinning, you thanked her profusely, this is exactly what you wanted.
"No, thank you for hanging out with me. This is the most fun I've had for months!" You laughed along and took another look at your phone.
You had that instinctive jerk upon seeing the time. Her smile dropped and changed to a confused expression.
"What's wrong?"
You were in the middle of packing until you realized you didn't have to take the bus. You apologized and explained yourself.
"Oh, that's totally fine. Hey, what do you say we hang out at the beach?"
You told her that Mr Jones is probably waiting for you.
"Daddy isn't just driving one person around all day. He's like an on-demand taxi! He's going to come to you only after a phone call."
You never knew that.
"Besides, you don't have a stuffy ol' Sir Yves to entertain. You're free! You get to go wherever you want to, whenever you want to." She gave you jazz hands to bring home her point.
"The sun is out, but it isn't that hot. We can dip our feet in the water to cool ourselves down."
You rubbed your chin. That does sound nice, and you don't want to reject your only friend. It's not like you have anything to do at the moment.
"But we're gonna need to take the bus though. I haven't had my driver's license yet." She added.
It takes an hour to ride the bus from the university to the beach. You're full from the junk you ate from the cafe, and you have enough money to buy whatever you want from the stalls.
You could always call Mr Jones up to drive you home from the beach.
However, you should probably go home and talk to Yves. You're barely answering his texts while he was excited to show you the attractions around his hotel.
"So, what do you say, (name)?" She asked with a hopeful smile.
You thought about it.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere oc#yandere male#yandere concept#tw yandere#yandere x you#yandere oc x reader#oc yves#male yandere oc x reader#oc montgomery
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Pitaya: Joe came down with ligma, updog.
Royal Margarine: What's ligma?
Hollyberry: Who's Joe?
Tarte Tatin: What's updog?
Pitaya, internally: My entire life has been spent leading up to this moment.
#cookie run#pitaya dragon cookie#royal margarine cookie#hollyberry cookie#tarte tatin cookie#incorrect quotes
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carl grimes headcannons because we lack of anything for him and i can (most, if not all, are just non-apocalypse headcannons):
- autistic (we are starting off strong here)
- vocally stims vines sometimes (“road work ahead? uh yeah i sure hope it does”, “look at all those chickens”, “i wanna be a cowboy baby”) (he does that last one in front of rick a lot and rick never understands it’s from vine)
- judith: “daddy?”
- carl: “DO I LOOK LIKE-?”
- glenn taught him a lot of stupid jokes like “ligma” and “joe mama” (the usual college kid jokes)
- would use the “joe mama” joke on judith a lot
- judith would retaliate with ligma jokes (“we have the same mom idiot”)
- no one knows where she learnt that one
- loved science as a kid
- switched between wanting to become a cop like rick or an astronomer
- thought about being a palaeontologist but couldn’t see himself doing it for the rest of his life
- didn’t have a lot of friends but was still liked by other kids anyways (doesn’t mean he’s popular, people are just neutral about him)
- is on a swim team
- just likes swimming in general
- MOMMA’S BOY!!!!!
- then lori died so he made that transition over to his dad…yeah
- keeps his hair long and went through that teenage grunge phase
- listens to bands like oasis, los campensinos, nirvana, foo fighters, etc etc
- his parents music taste would sneak in sometimes tho like fleetwood mac, abba (lori) bob dylan, johnny cash (rick), any 80’s songs and old country (below the 70’s)
- because of that grunge phase he’d 100% play the electric guitar
- his grandpa taught him a bit of acoustic whenever they’d visit
- he plays the acoustic sometimes for judith, or anyone in his family who asks, but mainly judith
- plays more chill songs like something you’d find in the ‘life is strange’ soundtrack (bright eyes, angus and julia stone, iron & wine) (most of those are from enid’s music taste)
- rick and michonne let him use the garage but it still drives them up the walls when he jams out with friends
- doesn’t understand the superbowl but because his dad likes it he makes an effort to watch it with him because no one else will
- jump scares any unsuspecting victim when they turn the corner of a wall
- to calm down whenever he’s stressed/overwhelmed/overstimulated he’ll either go swimming or ask his grandparents to come over (they own a farm) to ride some horses
- allergic to peanuts (not pecans because they had to eat some when they met Gabriel so)
- hates anything deep fried except for fish
- terrible in any form of skating
- roller skating? keeps slamming into the wall
- ice skating? uses those kid-balance-crutches-thingys
- he just has terrible coordination
- obviously gets worse when he looses his eye
- he’s good at bowling tho
- even tho he’s a moody teenager he’s EXTREMELY kind
- switches from sciences to arts and english in high school
- started making little family portraits drawings
- can actually understand old english/shakespeare
- makes blanket forts with judith 24/7
- actually does have a southern accent it’s just more like loris (less noticeable than ricks)
- would 100% watch minecraft youtubers
- bisexual little shit (duh)
- when he was a kid he didn’t have a fear of needles but as he grew up he just DESPISED them like shaking screaming crying and throwing up type deal
- hums a lot to judith, usually the song “baby mine”
- snapchat user
- embarrassingly so. especially when he uses the filters
- has a diary and calls it a diary not a journal
- drops trauma like it’s nothing, like a silly joke (this is basically canon but i’ll still include it in)
- headphones on 24/7 might as well be glued to his head (his ears are too small for earphones and he likes soundproof headphones anyways)
- an entire shelf in his closet is just for comics (and some comics are thin so you can imagine how many he has)
- likes reading other things too instead of just comics
- refuses to wear elastics/tie his hair up even if it gets in his way a lot
- let’s judith put silly hairclips in it
- sometimes forgets to take them out when he gets to school but he doesn’t care much
- would watch: the office, brooklyn nine-nine, the breakfast club & moral orel
#carl grimes#the walking dead#twd carl#twd#judith grimes#headcanon#carl grimes headcanons#twd headcanons#the walking dead headcanons
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You Vamp!Au of TWWL is lovely. Can we introduce some GenZ!Mc in there? U know. For chaos
GenZ!MC + Twst Vampire AU
cw: entirely crack, i tried to make this serious but i can’t, i’m deeply sorry but also i’m gonna have to preface this by saying if the “humour” (it’s not actually funny) is cringe it’s because i am actually a very cringe individual with the sense of humour of a 12 year old. also i’m pretty sure i lost multiple iq points writing this
“Malleus, I have something to tell you. It’s very hard for me to say but,” you pause to work in a sniffle, “I’ve been diagnosed with Ligma. I don’t know how much time I have left.”
With fake tears and tissues straight out of a youtuber apology video, you begin your torment on poor, innocent Malleus.
He’s silent for a moment. Malleus gets up, straight-faced and pulls you into his arms.
“I’m deeply sorry, child of man. I haven’t heard of this illness before but it matters not. Lilia and I will do everything in our power, scour every corner of the earth until we find a cure,” Malleus says, without breaking eye-contact.
“LIGMA BALLS,” you yell. Malleus’ arms loosen in surprise, and you’re able to run, high-five a hiding Ace who’s face has turned red from laughter, and escape to who knows where.
Malleus feels ten years get taken off his life.
-
You’re sitting on the couch with Rook, legs splayed on his lap. Vil is sitting across from you, as far away as he can presumably get, looking disgusted at Rook for associating with you. You make eye contact and blow him a kiss. Vil swerves it, clearly disturbed.
“Begone thot.”
“I don’t know Vil, that’s not what your mom was saying last night when I-“
Rook clamps a hand down on your mouth. It seems even he’s astonished by your depravity. You make eye contact with him before slowly licking his hand. He doesn’t pull away. Okay, now you’re the scared one.
Vil can feel the stress lines forming on his face. He gets up, presumably to start an extensive skin treatment.
-
Sitting in the living room with Ace, Deuce, Epel, and Jack, playing a game of cards when suddenly your next victim walks in. You put down your winning hand, forgoing your victory for what you know is a good cause, a worthy sacrifice.
“Hey, Trey. Would you mind doing me a favour?” You ask him, tone neutral and inconspicuous.
He stops his path to the kitchen, and turns towards your table.
“Of course, MC, what can I do for you?” Trey smiles in his usual friendly way, unaware of the pain that he’s about to endure, the cringe that will keep him awake at night.
Ace is quite literally dying, Deuce is covering his face with his hands, and Epel is already groaning, knowing your antics far too well. Jack, per usual, is unaffected and keeps playing the game, completely apathetic at this point.
“Well since I’m not allowed to leave the mansion, would you mind picking up something for me in town? There’s this baker Joe told me about who’s apparently amazing,” you gush, watching Trey’s face diligently. You don’t want to miss a single moment of this.
“Joe? Who’s Joe?”
“JOE MAMA BITCH,” you get up and immediately start fortnite dancing on his (figurative) corpse. Trey collapses to his knees. Life has no meaning to him anymore. Ace and Deuce are crying, simultaneously tears of laughter and pain stream down their faces. Epel is curled up in a fetus position on the floor, rocking himself back in forth to try and escape the pure agony. Jack continues playing by himself, now alone at the table.
-
You’ve had mercy on Riddle, thus far, knowing his small body can only contain so much emotion at one time. Alas, the day has come where you can no longer hold yourself back. The day that will be known as ‘the great bofa incident’.
A plan that has been weeks in the making, Riddle has no idea that he’s been perfectly set up to take the bait. With Trey as your accomplice (you told him if he did this for you, you wouldn’t target him again - a lie), Riddle’s been given a recipe that Trey’s assured him needs to be followed exactly, lest the entire dish be ruined.
Together in the kitchen, you sit on the counter while Riddle stands near the stove. He turns to you, holding Trey’s recipe.
“Trey has created quite the intricate dish. Even I haven’t heard of this ingredient. Has Trey provided you with this…bofa? Is that some kind of herb?”
If Riddle had bothered to look up as he spoke, he would see the evil smile forming on your face. Weeks of effort, all culminating into this one moment. Some might call it a waste of time, such a tedious process for such a small moment?
Those who would make such claims are those who have never experienced the pure joy, the rush that comes from a getting someone so unsuspecting with such a fantastic, ingenious even, line.
“Bofa? Yeah I’ve heard of it. HEARD OF PUTTING BOFA DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH.”
Riddle is stunned. Flabbergasted, even. You expect some kind of reaction, maybe even anger or an outburst but he gives you nothing. You leave him alone in the kitchen, simply disappointed.
Riddle locks himself in the his room for weeks following the incident. No one knows if he’s dead or alive. He can’t even cry anymore, only capable of sitting in the corner and staring blankly ahead, trapped in an existential crisis and losing his will to keep going a little more each day.
-
Idia has been going on and on to you about his latest experience with an online troll during one of this gaming sessions. Ample opportunity is created for you to strike again, and you cannot resist your true calling.
“Who?” You say to Idia.
“I don’t know their name, it was just a stranger-“
“No, who asked?”
With this sick blow, you’ve completely shattered all of Idia’s already non-existent self-confidence. He deflates, face planting on the floor and not having the will to get up. Idia is reduced to a heap of blue, becoming a stranger to all emotions except for pure cringe. The doctors say he won’t ever recover.
“Gottem,” you say to yourself as you walk out, leaving the carnage you created behind.
#no one read this pls i’m begging#it’s not funny at all i promise you#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland vampire au#twst#twisted wonderland#malleus draconia#ace trappola#epel felmier#vil schoenheit#rook hunt#idia shroud#riddle rosehearts#deuce spade#jack howl#trey clover#twst yuu#twst mc#malleus draconia x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#riddle rosehearts x reader#idia shroud x reader#trey clover x reader
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☆ Crack Headcanons ☆
felt evil today so i made this, i simply go off vibes, overanalyzing and things that i consider funny here so enjoy
- bald bull has arranged a funeral on whatsapp once
- don flamenco gets called lawn flamingo daily
- glass joe once got so angry at someone that he whacked them with a baguette
- Mac has a Twitter account where he shit talks Macho man and personally @'s him, he thinks its hilarious to annoy Macho man
- great tiger sometimes clones himself and practices arguments with himself
- bear hugger just hands stuff to people when theyre on the phone since he knows that 90% they will pick it up
- aran ryan sometimes pretends hes a rhino experiencing rain after a tough drought on all fours, it brings him to tears
- mr sandman sometimes watches fanboy & chum chum when hes feeling sad
- super macho man tries to make Joe mama, ligma & sugma jokes all the time, only soda falls for it
- soda keeps being sent that video of joe biden going "SODA!!" and he still thinks its hilarious
- piston hondo can and will eat any flower he knows is edible, thinks its fun (and is right, actually)
- kaiser accidentally snorted baking powder once when he was little, his family will never let him live it down and calls him "bread boy" to this day
- doc lois sometimes calls Mac macaroni just to annoy him
#headcanon#crack headcanons#bald bull#don flamenco#doc louis#glass joe#piston hondo#aran ryan#mr sandman#von kaiser#soda popinski#super macho man#great tiger#crack#if you get the caddicarus ref i love you
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…have you ever heard of ligma?
Yes. Joe has it.
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Setsuno: hey, it says gullible on the ceiling.
Hojo: oh yeah, I think Joe put that there.
Setsuno: ya know, I bet ya it was candice.
Hojo: it looks like Yuri’s writing though.
Setsuno: no it can’t be Yuri’s, he died of ligma last week,
Hojo: interesting, we went to Wendy’s yesterday.
Setsuno: yeah I wouldn’t know, I was at a bofa concert yesterday.
Hojo: Did you see that with Hugh?
Setsuno: nah, he was busy with updog.
Hojo: well I’m seeing imagine dragons this weekend.
Setsuno: well I’m not too familiar with their parodies.
Hojo: What? They don’t do parodies.
Setsuno: PARODIES NUTS!! HA!!
Hojo: fuck!
#mha incorrect quotes#mha#incorrect bnha quotes#bnha incorrect quotes#shie hassaikai#toya setsuno#mha toya#hojo yu#mha yu#5:57 AM 18/1/23
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"Ligma jokes aaaare almost always bad. It's kind of an art form in my opinion. There are a lot of ligma jokes people do where they 'get' someone, but that's not getting someone. Getting someone is: Having a conversation with Mark about Good Time Dragon for three hours and pretending it's a videogame until someone bites, and asks 'what's Good Time Dragon?'. That is a FUCKING awesome joke. Yo- you- you can't BELIEVE- If that happens to you- like- 'ALL i did was try and be interested in what my friends were talking about and i got- i got BUTTFUCKED for it.' That is the only good- like- like- people will- people will [indecipherable] easy wins, but there is no good win unless you fucking earn it. [...] I had a ligma joke in the works. It was extremely meta. I didn't wanna tell you guys because [pause] Vesting Barbecue was my [pause] he was basically The Victim. I've been working on it for a really long time, but i give up now. I can see that Vesting Barbecue has been gotten by me so many times [pause] that i'll PROBABLY never get him again. He doesn't engage anymore. It's like- it's like practicing a really good game. And you learn everything NOT to do as you gain more and more experience. that's what makes you a pro. I have turned Vesting into a pro. He will never be tricked AGAIN, unless you have a loooooot of context where like [pause] You're a new frieeend, you're nothing but nice to them like, that's- that's the only way you get 'em. Like, the days of me getting Vesting with ligma joke are long fucking gone. There's nothing i can do, it'll never happen again. But i WILL explain to you the joke concept because it's FUCKING [pause] genius. And you guys are gonna hear it and be like 'HOLY SHIT i can't believe no one's ever thought of this'. You have to be in a voice call with multiple people, someone has to say something [pause] that is unusual word, you have to pretend laugh you have to go 'AHAHAHA', and then you have to be like 'Vesting you ever hear that ligma joke?', and he's supposed to go 'Which one?'. He says 'Which one?', you're fucking IN. Because your answer is 'LIGMA BALLS!'. And you bring it all the way back to the very basic form [pause] of ligma. But- it's so meta, it's so fucking great. I wa- i- i've been trying to get Vesting with it for like, a month. I have been able to get, like, FIVE other people. FIVE OTHER PEOPLE in the span of me trying to get Vesting, have asked me 'Which one?', and i DIDN'T TAKE IT, because they were not the intended target. THAT is how you have a good ligma joke. THAT is how you actually are satisfied with the result of the fucking words you say. There's nothing funny about [pause] getting someone with a Joe Mama. That's not funny. There's nothing good- there's no poise. You gotta earn it if you wanna feel good about 'em, in my opinion." -Simpleflips on ligma jokes
#Simpleflips#Car Quest#Ligma#Vesting#God i miss him so much#Quotes#Good Time Dragon#Long post#Postagem#Ingles
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Joe has ligma
CHRIST NOT AGAIN LAST TIME HE BURNT THE LAKE
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ocs who i havent spoken about but whom i think about:
billy [she/her] - butch lesbian computer girl who hides underground all the time and, much like other underground animals, has poor eyesight and pale skin. does not know who joe is. does not care about him OR steve jobs dreadful illness ligma. doesnt actually know who steve jobs is
mr. mary [it/they] - magical marionette zombie thing that has a shell of..... marionette around whats left of its body, and various masks and limbs it can swap out. appears to fill niche or background roles including henchman, barista, body disposal, mime, and clown disguising bombs as boobies.
ms. tomcat [she/her] - Catman Wizard Big Naturals. accidentally cursed herself into being a furry and just rolls with it. maybe immortal and maybe god? got mr. mary out of a bad situation and now theyre partners in pretty much every sense of the word. currently experimenting with reanimation magic.
doctor al [he/him but he doesnt care] - shadow guy in a prison jumpsuit and glasses who has been trapped in a room for ages. has a vulture motif except instead of bodies its old tech. objectum + in love w r0-bert, his laptop. also has a thing going w a robot named commander
michael [any] - godawful leader of the angels * in my story and overall an awful person. obsessed w perfection and rules with an iron fist.
lucifer [any] - ive mentioned them but not at length. a fallen angel who is generally revered among "demons" ** for escaping their punishment with [relatively] little injury and still having their halo. de-facto leader of the demons. disguises itself as a priest.
flight [any] - a fledgeling [lowest-ranked] angel who should, by all means, be higher up in the status quo, but is Weird among angels, which lands them in some hot water, plenty of gossip abt them, and later leads to them falling. gives themself their name afterwards as fledgeling angels arent allowed to have names
also unnamed [any] - a cherubim that is possibly flights like, only friend until they fall. when flight falls, theyre tasked with hunting them down. they are unable to kill flight or bring them to michael and, knowing they will fall for their insolence, sacrifice themself to flight and allow flight to keep their body. ***
* not a literal angel. they just adopted the term. semi-robotic magical amalgamations obsessed with the idea of purity who are generally a little awful and nitpicky to even each other.
their ranks go from fledgeling -> virtues -> powers -> cherubim + seraphim -> the archangel [michael] [did you know archangels are, in christian lore, actually the second lowest in the ranks? (its okay it makes sense here if theres inaccuracies)]
** again, not a literal demon. theyre not really very seperate from angels except that they dont have their halo [usually]. demons are more of a... subculture, i guess? a collective of fallen angels who have adapted the general concept of demons to band together against angels, making their own faction. they suck a bit but far less than angels do
*** angels use other beings to craft their bodies and get sick upgrades
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fucking
here are my boundaries when it comes to nsfw jokes here
i may put a link to this post in my pinned eventually
KEEP IN MIND THAT I AM A MINOR AND SEX REPULSED ASEXUAL (i dont bring up the fact im asexual often since some people think ace=aro)
uhh under the cut since i talk about sex in this and id rather be safe than sorry
if its a sex joke, dont get too detailed. you can say “I FUCKED YOUR MOM”, i dont care, just dont say how you fucked my mom
making jokes about kinks and fetishes are also ok as long as you dont go into ANY DETAIL AT ALL. PLEASE. i have nothing against kinks and fetishes, do whatever the fuck you want as long as its consensual, it just makes me uncomfortable when its brought up in detail, especially without warning
the amongus sex gif is ok
“did you hear joe died of ligma” “LIGMA BALLS” style jokes are fine
those really shitty dick drawings where its just two circles and an oval are fine, but as soon as it has any detail like hair it makes me uncomfortable
honestly just dont go into detail when talking about the human reproductive system in general. and dont joke about it at all if its pertaining to me specifically
basically nsfw jokes are fine as long as you dont go into detail
this is mostly bcus i felt i should clear things up after those vaguely threatening asks from last night started bringing up nsfw topics
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So, I have some news.
Candice has passed away due to sogunon.
Joe has Ligma
And Deez's dragon is sick and has to get a BofA surgery
Such a sad day 😔
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taking a break from trying to fill out zolin's profile because i have to actually replay danktectives to recall some characterization stuff so you know what? fuck you [uncubes your minecraft npcs]
left to right, top to bottom: KC, Daniel, Scott, Walter, Marvin
and some assorted headcanons/thoughts:
KC's attitude toward the player is like. one part testing to see how well they handle small frustrations and two parts just something she thinks is funny.
Daniel basically has the same vibe as the receptionist from Ghostbusters 2016 (whose name i forget and am not going to look up. it's the chris hemsworth guy) in the sense that he is completely clueless and unqualified but he is very pretty.
Scott is like. he's very good at what he does (i do feel like his Sillyman tendencies got ironed out as soon as daniel was introduced) and there's a reason Zolin looks up to him as both a great detective and a father figure, but the man has fallen for every single updog/bofa/ligma/joe mama that has ever come his way.
Walter always looks more frazzled than his brother but weirdly enough also looks more youthful.
Hilariously enough, Marvin was poached from DANKTectives by SolveIT.
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NARUTOOOOO
SASUKEEEE
YOUUUUSOOOOORROOOOO
#love live#lovelive#love live sunshine#you watanabe#fuck you#unfunny#meme#cringe#shitpost#anime#joe#mama#joe mama#joe has ligma
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since y’all won’t get over my last joe video
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