The thoughts won't leave me alone so here are some more of cat!Dream and Hob.
These first 2 pages happen before the og Meowrpheus comic
That space next to Hob looks very tempting but a dream king can't just.... cuddle up next to their friend... righ? ...Unless...
And then Hob wakes up and the have the discussion and Hob get's to pet cat!Dream
(Purring?? How embarrassing!)
that... that's it...
These are more rough than the original comic I just couldn't bother with effort.. I'm tired.
A Phil update! For those who were asking.
I mentioned before that Phil works for a call centre. I'm pretty sure I've also made it clear by now that Phil's spectacular weirdness, coupled with his hatred of capitalism, means he's been mentally checked out of that job for a while now. His main focus has been his degree for the past year anyway. The only reason he's stayed is because Phil has a history of destructive impulsivity that he's been actively working on, so he didn't want to just walk out.
So there we are, scene set. Last week, he phones my husband.
"A weird thing happened in work," he tells Steff. "My manager called me into the office for a chat, but... I think it was weird? I'm pretty sure it was weird."
"Tell me what happened, Phil," says Steff.
Here's the story:
Phil goes into the office, and the manager fixes him with a Kind Smile.
"Phil," the Manager says hesitantly. "Do you... like working here?"
"...um," says Phil, distantly aware after Many Conversations with Exasperated Friends that the correct answer to your boss is 'yes', but physically incapable of lying. "Well. I. Um."
"Because," the manager says awkwardly. "Look, you - it's okay."
"Is it?" Phil asks vaguely.
"It's okay," the manager repeats. "I know you don't like working here. This isn't what you want to do. You don't want to stay."
"No," Phil agrees, relieved they are on the same page.
"Listen," the manager says, in an agony of awkwardness. "Look, Phil... you're such a nice guy. Just... I'll write you the best reference. But you can just... go, if you want. You can... go back to your desk and log out and just... leave."
"...okay," says Phil. And he leaves.
So he tells this story to Steff, who is, obviously, BAFFLED.
"Okay," says Steff. "Right. Phil. Phil what the fuck did you do."
"Nothing!" Phil protests. "I didn't do anything!"
"Okay," Steff says again, changing tack. "Phil. What have you done recently that a capitalist would disapprove of?"
"Oh," says Phil. "It's probably because I gave that old woman £200 of company money."
"...go on," Steff says wearily.
Here's the story:
This sweet old woman rings and says her phone was down for a couple of days. She's calling to complain, because it meant she couldn't contact her relatives, and she felt lonely.
"I'm so sorry," says Phil. "Do you want some money?"
("First question," says Steff. "Were you supposed to give any money at all for that?"
"...no," says Phil.)
So this old woman is like "Uh... yes please? Okay?"
"Alright!" says Phil cheerfully. "Let's see how much I can give you."
("Second question," says Steff. "Were you allowed to give out £200 to anyone?"
"Oh, no," says Phil. "They made it really difficult, actually, it took ages.")
"Ah," Phil tells this old lady. "I can only give you £50. Let's try that."
"I... thank you," says this old lady, already in the grip of the Heady Bewilderment that descends on everyone who speaks to Phil for a bit. "That's very generous."
"It's gone through!" says Phil happily. "There we are. I wonder if it'll let me do it again?"
"Um," says the old lady, who is starting to sense that she's dealing with a maverick doing something he shouldn't.
("Third question," says Steff. "Did she ask for more at any point?"
"Um... no," says Phil.)
"It worked!" Phil says brightly. "Do you want me to do it again? I think it'll let me."
"...okay," this old lady says, strangled. "Thank you."
"No problem," says Phil helpfully. "It's done it, I think. Shall we do one more?"
"Yes please," says this old woman, who is now convinced she's either called the wrong number or is speaking to an amenable faerie one mustn't refuse.
Phil tries again. It goes through.
"Do you think," Steff asks, "that this might have been a fireable offence?"
"I suppose?" Phil says dubiously. "The company has loads of money though, I don't see why."
"...no, of course you don't," Steff agrees.
"Anyway," Phil says. "I think I left on a good note. But that might have been weird, too."
"What did you do," Steff sighs.
"Well, I packed up my desk," says Phil. "And then this guy turned up who was supposed to give me some training. And I told him that I was leaving so it wasn't necessary, and then he said that he had to give the training-"
"You did the training, didn't you," says Steff.
"I did the training," says Phil.
here are my mario movie predictions
- the plot is either mario and luigi's origin story, or it's about mario being disillusioned with having to rescue peach again
- mario kart reference in a chase scene
- art style is super bright and plasticy with hyperrealistic irises. all the hair is blobs with realistic texture and a couple loose hairs
- peach's joke is that she almost gets angry a lot and then right at the climax of the movie she'll get angry at the bad guy and make this expression
and everyone will go Ummm Awkward... I Wouldnt Wanna Get On Her Bad Side
- donkey kong isn't a permanent companion, just in one donkey kong section where all his obscure relatives are mentioned as a throwaway joke
- bowser is initially presented as the villain but then bowser and mario's gang have to team up to defeat the real villain. there will be a joke along the lines of "well we play golf/karts/sports with you all the time"
- there will be one reference to the mario rpgs and everyone will lose their minds
- there will be one reference to a mario meme. if we're lucky it will be like, a hotel mario one.
- there will be a youtuber in this, at least a reference to a youtuber.
- luigi's arc is that he has an inferiority complex compared to mario. they will have a falling out that gets repaired within 7 minutes
any tips for drawing in the AT style?
put together some notes ive taken on it hope this helps !!!
also keep in mind that a lot of episodes have different quirks and things to them since different boarders always implemented their own art styles so it can be very flexible. what im saying is you dont really have to stick to specific things for it to feel like adventure time (some examples between tom herpich boards and steve wolfhard boards noted below. i take a lot of inspiration from both of them so this is mainly what i look at when im drawing AT. all panels taken from the tower storyboard)
i also sometimes take from the "how to draw adventure time" guide, it was made very early in production so obviously a lot of things have changed but who else would i take advice from other than the crew themselves (also i think they explain it way better than me so this is probably the part youre interested in) ALL CREDIT TO THE AT CREW FOR THE NEXT FEW IMAGES!!!
sorry if this is a lot i like to take notes on everything about this show. in my endless quest towards an impossible feat (boarding for adventure time) ive learned a lot art wise and i hope this helps you!!
I think I finally pinned down just what's so annoying about Warren
Even though he makes some pretty good points in his lessons, he immediately makes everything about himself
Obviously the song he sings is about himself, but even the story it tells shows how selfish he is
I think he tried to get his coworkers wrapped up in a pyramid scheme and that's what got him fired? (Maybe??) And he's mad at his old "friends" for not going along with it (and probably telling his superiors too)
The whole situation with the brain friends is pretty obvious too, I mean he plays his own podcast for god's sake
He even corners the shy older brother specifically to talk about his podcast more because he knows the brother won't do anything to talk back like the others did
Anyway TLDR: He's a selfish prick who tries to mooch off of others and doesn't listen to his own advice (as Yumferdinker said, he SUCKS)
whatever you do, don't think about hob helping dream discover beautiful music and art that he missed during his imprisonment and them falling in love in the process
like, i've been losing my mind today because it hit me that dream was cut off from the dreaming in burgess' basement for the entirety of dave brubeck's lifetime (1920-2012) ?????? and it got me thinking, and
imagine hob inviting dream over to his flat for dinner (listen... dream of the endless was fully willing to eat KFC after he got out of burgess' cage in the comics - i am convinced he would not only eat, but also summarily enjoy and allow himself to be seduced by, hob gadling's boeuf bourguignon)
hob being absolutely meticulous about every detail - he may or may not have cleaned the place for a week beforehand! he gets dream flowers! he's got ambient lighting! he will neither confirm nor deny having purchased nicer tableware than he would use for himself for the occasion! he's got a very nice wine chilling in the fridge! he's dying of nerves because this isn't just anyone, this is dream, his not-so-stranger-anymore, whom he's been absolutely tangled up in feelings for, for literal centuries, coming to his home, you know, as a date, fuck
so, you know, last but not least, of course, he's got to have the proper mood music, and he really agonizes over it until finally he decides it's gotta be the album "love songs" by dave brubeck, which he has on CD (i love hob + vinyl records, but somehow, the idea of hob owning a sound system that plays CDs in the age of bluetooth/streaming and still having a carefully-curated collection of his favorite CDs is honestly even more endearing to me)
anyway, he sits dream down in the living room and puts on this album, and goes into the kitchen for a few minutes to uncork the wine
he comes back with the bottle and two wine glasses and has to pause in the doorway, because dream is just... sitting there, on the couch where hob left him, looking totally enraptured; he's got tears in his eyes, practically, and he looks like this may have done more to charm him than flowers and wine and the elaborate dinner hob has simmering away on the stove all combined ever could
"what is this thing called love" is playing, wrapping the room up in that wonderful intimate warm romance that jazz has, and hob just looks at dream basking in it and needs a moment himself—because god, he really does love dream, doesn't he, and if he once thought this was a love he'd ever recover from he knows now that he never will; and he doesn't want to recover, not if it means seeing dream like this
and of course dream, who can sense dreams, knows why hob has done all of this for him. he picks up on all the longing wrapped up in all these little precise acts—he can see all hob's dreams for the two of them, his vision for the trajectory of the evening, how he's hoping he might kiss dream tonight, if he's very, very fortunate and plays his cards exactly right—and yet they don't feel like dreams of possession or claiming, they feel like dreams of discovery and possibility, born of six hundred thirty three years of steadfast affection
and that just makes the music hit dream differently, be more to him somehow, because he isn't sure when the last time was that anyone did anything like this for him out of such an unassuming freely-given love that didn't seek to destroy or degrade or disarm him
oh, but it does disarm him, doesn't it? in ways hob gadling may not have expected
and they just... look at each other across the room, for a moment. dream, sitting there on the couch, elbow on his knee, chin in his hand, falling starry-eyed for hob's tenacious tender heart in real time; and hob with his hip propped on the doorframe and the wine glasses clinking together in his hand, trying not to lose his grip on the neck of the wine bottle, everything in the universe narrowing to the sight of dream
LISTEN. LISTEN, I'M HAVING EMOTIONS,,,,
This 1931 home in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio, is decorated so prettily, (especially if you love blue), that it’s a steal for $395K.
Isn’t the entrance hall attractive?
Isn’t the fireplace beautiful? Look at the detail.
Every room is freshly painted, so unless you don’t like the colors, that doesn’t have to done.
Look at this beautiful door going into the kitchen, and the built-in cabinet.
They have really made the most of their island- with 5 chairs around it, there’s no need for a kitchen table.
The wallpaper in the hallway is elegant. Also, look at the storage on the left and the details on the doors.
Lovely sunporch. It has a huge window seat and built-in bookshelves. Also notice the shelf going around the upper part of the room and the corner shelf on the right.
I like how they used area rugs in different colors and patterns that coordinate beautifully.
The master bedroom is quite large. For a home of this age, there’s usually a tiny closet, but this room has one on each side of the bed.
Bd. #2 is also very large and has a window seat.
All of the rooms are large. This is #3 and there are 4 altogether.
The main bath of 2.5. They didn’t have a double sink, so they put in another one. Clever idea.
Completely finished basement.
The 2nd bath has a beautiful big shower.
Covered patio and screened-in porch.
Lovely garden along the side of the house- it’s like a picture. I think that the price is pretty good for all of this, and not a thing to do inside or out.
Talking Buddie Language: Ep 6.02
Oh Episode 6.02 was heartbreakingly amazing. Even though we did not get enough Buck and Eddie moments together, the moments we did were crucial to their overall storylines that are to come. This half of the season seems to be heavily focusing on Buck's journey and his impending breakdown that is set to occur sometime in the near future. Now I believe it was a well played move to not have Buck and Eddie heavily depend on one another this episode, especially when it came to Eddie's lack of comforting when Buck was going through his loss. I will expand on this later, but I believe this was done deliberately so to set up the significant role Eddie will play in Buck's recovery later. But for now, let's discuss their various behaviors throughout the episode.
Tunnel of Lust with a Leeway to the Closet:
We get Buck and Eddie sharing a quick look in the very beginning of this call. They are continuing what they always do, which is their seamless nonverbal communication. Any time there is something outrageous going on, they immediately glance at one another because they just know what the other is thinking in that moment. It’s sort of like their own way of letting the other know they’re there and not alone. That is the only time we see them side by side, before they get split up to work on different tasks.
(Gif by @bridget-malfoy-stilinski-hale)
Eddie's conversation with Benjamin was very interesting to me.
E: "What year is it?"
Ben: "The year my marriage ended."
Eddie's response is an open mouth, disbelieving of his words but also his face expresses that he can connect with Benjamin. Eddie also had a marriage that ended when Shannon asked for a divorce, then died the very next day. So it was very interesting to have that be mentioned and then focus on Eddie's reaction to that.
The mention of Gary being shot in the shoulder is also connected to Eddie, who we all know, got shot in the shoulder. His little eyebrow raise was him confirming he knows the feeling and he proves that by mentioning, "Shrapnel? Against gophers?" He knows there's something else going on that Benjamin is hiding from the rest of the crew, which is why he questions him on it. It makes me think of the possibility of Eddie hiding things from his loved ones as well, acting nonchalant as if it's no big deal, when in reality it is.
(Gif by @eddiediazdaily)
I found that entire call to be very reminiscent of other things that have happened to Eddie. Gary being buried under dirt rings Eddie being buried in 30 feet of wet earth in "Eddie Begins". And who ends up going to save Gary? Buck. The one person who was willing to dig with his fingers to get Eddie out was the one saving the buried guy.
I think when we look at last week's emergencies and think about how 2/3 emergencies included queer people, and how this emergency heavily used the theme of hiding secrets in a closet, it all begs the question of what the writers are trying to imply? Especially when they have Eddie in the forefront, dealing with all of these emergencies.
Buck is already on his journey, but it's obvious that he doesn't really know what journey it is. He took what Bobby said to him and turned to the first book he could think of, which was Bobby's Alcoholics Anonymous book. Clearly what Bobby told him in 6.01 resonated with Buck heavily and he is desperate to figure out how he can be at ease. What he doesn't understand is that it's not something he can work through while reading books or asking other people, kind of like when he asks Hen.
B: "Are you at ease?"
H: "Do I look like I'm at ease Buck?"
(Gif by @whosoldherout)
Buck is so focused on finding his own answers, that he is somewhat incognizant of his surroundings, such as Hen exhausting herself with her captaincy duties and her school workload. But whatever is on his mind has taken over, hence him asking Hen if she is at ease. The reason I believe he asked her out of anyone else, is because he views her in a much different light. She has been in his corner before and he looks up to her in many different ways. Also, considering the fact that she is interim captain, he feels more comfortable asking her because it's something he would likely ask Bobby, even though Bobby is the one who put Buck in this predicament. Buck is quick to explain his questioning to Hen.
B: "In the book it says that if I'm at ease, all my fear will fall away from me."
It's Buck's facial expressions when he explains that screams to me. His eyes are scrunched, and you can see the sadness laying in them. He looks up at Hen, as someone who has been one of his strongest support systems, and he's semi-defeated. He is begging her for advice since she has more life experience than he does. He is looking for an easy way out because he is already struggling to find the answers he so badly seeks. Unfortunately, he does not get those answers from Hen, because she is too busy with her own problems, such as juggling finals and her massive work load as interim captain. You can tell from Buck’s sad downturned expression after she leaves that it really is something that is bothering him deeply. It’s not really something he can brush off and he was hoping that Hen would be of assistance to him.
The one and only scene we get of Buck and Eddie alone and it's them acting like the married lovable idiots that they are. They have their arms folded identically, once more proving how in sync they really are. There is some space between the two, but it is an improvement from all the personal space we had between them last season. Their little conversation about Hen was funny because they really do have one braincell.
B: "I feel like we should do something.”
E: "Get her a pillow."
(Gif by @agentoutofdiaz)
This was important in the sense where Buck always turns to Eddie, waiting for his lead. This is a reoccurring theme in their partnership most of the time. Buck so effortlessly turns his head towards Eddie and waits for his command. I think that's what makes them work so wonderfully together. Not that Eddie is always in command or anything. But that they have such a seamless partnership that either one of them can just tilt their head towards the other and follow along without a second thought. The codependency between them is so palpable that even in the smallest of moments, it's transparent. It was funny to see Eddie being a sassy little shit and Buck looking at him in disbelief. Their banter is so cute.
I want to mention that little background scene of them sitting with Chimney while Hen studies in the loft. You can see how they're attached at the hip. They are their huddled in together and there is just a sense of familiarity and ease between the two. You can tell by that little moment how comfortable they really are with each other and the lack of personal space between them. This stems from the intense level of closeness they have with each other.
(Gifs by @thisisdiaz)
The Not So Happiness Convention:
I know a lot of people may be upset at the fact that Buck and Eddie are once again not paired off together. But I believe this was done deliberately and I'll get into it in a bit.
Here we have the 3 best friends from childhood. Eddie is helping the 2 stuck together, meanwhile Buck is with Chim helping Lev. Now Buck does what he does best, and gets Lev talking so that he can forget about the predicament he is in. He wants to make sure Lev doesn't focus on how severe things may be, not only for himself, but for his 2 other friends who are also stuck under debris. This is a great callback to when Buck was left talking to Thomas in 2.08 while the 118 tended Mitchell. The older gentleman always end up giving Buck the best life advice in my opinion.
Even when Buck and Eddie are separated, you can't make them completely forget their partner. Buck looks over towards Eddie and the other victims a few times. When Lev asks Buck about his friends, Buck is quick to reassure him that his friends are in "Great hands." Buck knows the strengths of his partner and how competent he is at his job. He does not shy away from speaking highly of Eddie whatever chance he gets. I think that's lovely to see in a masculine friendship/partnership. The healthy and easy way to compliment one another because at this point it just comes naturally to Buck. He knows Eddie is great and wants others to be reassured of that fact as well.
The conversation Buck has with Lev really does set up the stage for where his storyline is heading this season. When he asked Lev, "Why happiness convention?" I dont think he was fully prepared for the response he got.
L: "Was trying to figure out some stuff. Thought maybe we'd find the answer here."
Now this is being communicated to Buck, who is currently on his own journey to figure out some stuff. He doesn't want to make the same mistakes and wants to find the answer on what he needs to do to become at ease with himself.
B: "You, you guys weren't happy?"
When Buck starts stuttering, it means his emotions are taking over. He is an emotionally intelligent guy and in instances where he gets nervous, upset, or when his emotions are all over the place, we see him stutter. In this instance, he’s having his own internal battle because he isn’t happy himself. He’s questioning Lev because he’s sort of asking for himself.
L: “You live your whole life, doing everything you’re supposed to. Marriage, kids, big house, nice cars, weekends at the shore.”
B: “Hey that doesn’t sound too bad right?”
L: “￼Wasn’t, just this 40 year blur. Work and family. Never enough time. Until one day work stops. Everything finally comes in to focus. Not sure what you’re looking at. What was the point of any of it?”
Lev is basically voici￼ng Buck his own biggest fears, things he’s been too afraid to talk about himself. You can see the fear in Buck’s eyes when he listens to Lev’s explanation. He’s immediately connecting what Lev is saying, to himself. It’s kind of like the Red situation all over again. It’s almost as if Buck sees his future exactly how Lev explained it. You see his mouth is open and his entire expression is just in disbelief and fear. His lip twitches on the right and it gives away the feeling that Buck is struggling to keep his emotions in check.
(Gif by @tawaifeddiediaz)
Now this is important be￼cause we all know how much firefighting is a part of Buck’s identity. He gives his all to the job, exactly how Red did, and even how Lev did. He saw both men regret giving so much of their lives to their jobs because they weren’t fully happy with their lives. Buck sees that as a possible future for himself and it terrifies him. That’s why he doesn’t want to let Lev go. He thinks if he lets Lev die, he’ll have a fate similar to his.
The moment Buck realizes the end is near for Lev, he immediately shuts down, lowers his eyes, indicating he’s sad.
I think it’s important to note when one of Lev’s friends ponders about his well being and makes the comment of how “Lev kept them together.” I find it interesting because Buck sort of keeps the 118 together. I know they say Chim is the heart of the 118, but I think Buck plays a very significant role in the team by keeping them all together. He is very connected to each member in differing ways, going as far as having very meaningful relationships with the other members. Bobby views Buck has a son figure, Hen views him as a younger brother, Chim is actual family, and Eddie, well Eddie is his partner and coparent. They are all connected through Buck in a sense. Buck is so passionate about his firefam that he will hold onto them all and not let anyone go. So the fact line that was thrown in there makes me think it was done to highlight how Buck keeps the 118 together.
When things take a turn for the worse, Buck lets his emotions take over completely.
L: “It’s ok, I got what I came for. I think I get it now.”
Lev sort of gave up in the end to assure the other kid was going to be ok. That’s typical self sacrificing Buck behavior. Of course Buck took it horribly, jumping in, deep breathing, refusing to let Lev go. He is completely distraught when Hen calls the time of death, once more proving that Buck saw himself in Lev and it terrified him.
(Gif by @henswilsons)
Eddie’s Subtle Way of Showing Comfort:
I think the scene in the locker room was very heartfelt. Eddie and Chimney sharing a look with each other, before reaching out to their respective partners says a lot. I loved Eddie’s little head nod towards Buck, almost as if the only thing on his mind in that moment was checking in to see if he’s ok. He wanted Chim to know that it’s possible Buck is taking it harder. They want to be there for Hen and Buck and do so by suggesting breakfast.
E: “A little grub might hit the spot.”
He glances over at Hen first before turning to look at Buck a little longer. It’s obvious Eddie is worried because he knows Buck is taking Lev’s loss horribly.
B: “Uh, not for me.”
Buck looks at Eddie while he says this. Almost silently pleading for him to not push him on this. And Eddie, knowing his partner inside and out, understands it.
E: “Fair enough.”
(Gif by @theres-a-tvjoe)
Eddie’s voice is reserved, with a hint of sadness. Sadness because he would've liked to be there for Buck, help him take his mind off things. But he also knows Buck. He knows that he will not push because when Buck is ready to talk, he will come to Eddie. That’s what's so wonderful about their partnership. They know the other is there for them at any time, but they let each other come only when they are ready. So he nods his understanding and looks down as expresses his sadness for the quickest of seconds.
I find it very telling that they didn't have Buck questioning Eddie about whether or not he is at ease. Eddie recently went through his own issues and Buck either doesn't want to have Eddie rehash those issues or he just doesn't think it's in his place to open up that conversation with him. I think also the reason we saw Buck reach out to Hen not once, but twice and not Eddie is because Eddie will come back to play a massive role in Buck’s breakdown and recovery a little further down the line.
When Eddie cracked and broke down, Buck was his main support system. Buck was the strength Eddie so desperately needed when he was at his weakest. Buck was the one who stood by his side and helped him through it all. Now perhaps Eddie is unsure of his place to reach out to Buck first. He just got back on his feet and maybe he is questioning whether or not he can be that person in which Buck leans on when he is dealing with his own problems. Whether he can provide that same solidity to Buck that he was given so freely. I feel as though it is likely that Eddie isn't confident in his own mental health just yet to fully step in with Buck, which is why we didn't see them discussing any of Buck’s issues tonight. I think as the season progresses and Buck ultimately heads towards a downward spiral, Eddie will step in and hold him through it. Provide all his strength when Buck is now at his weakest point. He will be that support Buck desperately needs because he was that for Eddie. They saved that for later episodes, which is why we didn't get much Eddie comforting Buck tonight. It’s coming though and when it does, it will be wonderful.
The Buck and Hen Of It All:
Now I will say this is the second time we get Buck discussing the things that are bothering him in one episode. Hen has always been viewed as this beautifully intelligent, wise, successful older sister type to Buck. She has stood in his corner many times and there is this distinct closeness between the two. Of course Buck feels comfortable reaching out to her, and does so about losing Lev.
B: “Hey um, wh- what do you think he meant? You know he, he said I get it now. And his eyes got all bright and he, he looked up at the sky like he just found happiness.”
Once again he’s stuttering, which means his emotions are taking over. He is upset but trying to put on this facade that it didn't really affect him that much. He’s really aiming for faux happiness and tries to throw in a smile to really sell it. It doesn’t work because Hen has other things on her mind and when she tries to leave, Buck continues with his need to get it all out.
B: “Kinda felt like he'd solved some great mystery. And then died before he could share it.”
This right here is Buck’s biggest fear. He is on this journey to find out what makes him happy, more at ease. He doesn't want to spend 40 years searching for happiness, only to find it right before he dies. As he continues, he explains about the design flaw of the building, which means he was researching, something he does when he’s upset and really worried. I’d even say it’s a coping mechanism of some sort for him.
B: “But he spent his entire life trying to do that, and only figured it out at the end? What do you think it is? Come on. You’re Hen. You always have the answers.”
H: “Some answers you gotta find for yourself, Buck.”
Once again he’s doing what he did with Bobby and that is seeking guidance from the people he looks up to the most. People who have experienced life in a different way than he has. Hen telling him that was very similar to what Bobby told him in 6.0 when he said, “I think the important thing is that you answer that question yourself.” Both Hen and Bobby want Buck to go on this journey all by himself because they believe it is pertinent that he discovers who he is, outside of the job, the firefam, outside of being a brother, an uncle, a best friend, etc. No one can tell Buck how to be happy. That is something he needs to figure out himself. And he’s really struggling with that because i believe Buck has never truly been happy, which is why it’s making this that much more difficult for him. How does he become something he’s never known?
As Hen leaves and Buck realizes she’s not going to help him get answers, you can see the start of tears forming in his eyes. The way he bites his tongue is him stopping himself from breaking down then and there. His eyes are glassy and he doesn’t want to cry at his place of work. He is so fucking desperate to get the answers he has been seeking all his life for. He wants to be happy, he wants to be at ease. He just doesn't know how to get there and he doesn't want to spend his entire life searching for ways to get there, to finally be happy and at ease.
(Gif by @whosoldherout)
This kickstarts his self discovery journey in which we will see how Buck tries to do things that he himself enjoys and learns new things about who he is as a person, outside of his firefighting persona. And as I mentioned before, I do think out of everyone, Eddie will be the one by his side, helping him on this journey. Buck has a long road ahead of him, but I think this road will quickly open Buck’s eyes to opportunities he never considered before and make him see the person who he feels the happiest with, the person who makes him feel the most at ease, is the person who's been by his side through it all.