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buckysflannelpajamas · 3 years

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Bleeding Hearts

Summary: Being Tony Starks daughter has its pros and cons. One of the pros being you get to live with your best friends, the Avengers. One of the cons you will soon find out is having to deal with the one and only, James Buchanan Barnes...

Takes place during the imaginary time after Civil War where everyone love in the tower and goes through to Endgame.

TRIGGER WARNING: victim blaming (though he doesn’t mean it) and mention of attempted r*pe and past attempted s*icide

Beep

Ugh. What is that sound? It’s disturbing your sleep.

Slowly, you open your tired eyes to find yourself in a dull grey room. Your heartbeat starts to pick up when you realize this isn’t your room.

Where are you?

The sound of the beeping quickens as your eyes race around the room, trying to figure out where you are. Dull grey walls, uncomfortable bed, heart rate monitor, IV bag… you must be in a hospital.

Shit, what happened?

You can’t help but notice that the IV is connected to a needle in your vain. Your heart rate continues to rise. Fuck, you hate needles! You move your hand to pull it out, only to be stopped by a large hand gently grabbing yours.

“Woah, woah, woah. You're ok, just take it easy.” A cold hand presses your shoulder gently to get you to lay back down.

“Bucky?” You recognize the voice immediately. Why are you in a hospital and what is Bucky doing here? Just as the questions enter your mind, fuzzy memories of the night start to drift back.

Arthur, the car, Bucky, the ambulance.

Oh shit, what did you get yourself into.

“You’re in the hospital.” Bucky starts. “You, Uh, had a ruff night.” Seeing that you’ve calmed down, Bucky carefully takes his hands away.

You don’t say it, but deep down you don’t want him to take his hands away.

“I know, I remember… well, kind of.”

“That’s good. You must not have gotten too high a dose.”

“I’m so fucking stupid.” You groan to yourself.

“You got that fucking right.” Bucky agrees.

Wait… what? Wasn’t he being nice to you last night?

“Excuse me?” You question, unsure you heard him correctly.

Bucky takes a step back from you, starting to pace. “I mean, what were you thinking?! Leaving the compound unsupervised!”

“I took a few steps outside! I didn’t think it would be a big deal!” You defend. It was one thing if you were upset at yourself about what happened, but Bucky has no right to be.

“Well it was! You’re fucking lucky that it was just some scumbag actor that took you and and not a group like Hydra! Also, seriously? Hasn’t your father ever told you to not take your eyes off your drink?!” Bucky continues to rant. “Or maybe you thought it’d be fun to be rebellious and try whatever drug he offered you?”

Your mouth hangs open in shock. How dare he! How dare he have the audacity to suggest that you were stupid enough to just take drugs from a stranger!

Bucky opens his mouth to yell again but you interrupt him. You’re tired of taking his shit and letting him do all the talking.

“Fuck you!” You shout. “How dare you suggest that I would be stupid enough to take drugs from a stranger! And don’t get on to me about watching my drink. I assumed that I wouldn’t get drugged in my own house while surrounded by Avengers!” As you rant you decide that it was time to put it out all in the air. To let him know how wrong he is about everything. “Also, what’s your fucking problem with me? You say I'm too happy and nice, well so is Steve and I don’t see you screaming at him? And by the way, I’m not this happy-go-lucky person all the time! New flash Barnes, everybody has shit they deal with, some are just better at hiding it than others!” Your fists are clenched and your chest is heaving as you continue to yell. “You wanna know why I have daddy issues? Cause I tried to fucking kill myself a few years ago! And my dad, instead of letting me recover and go to therapy in the medical wing of the tower, he sent me off, knowing how terrified I was of doctors and hospitals. And to top it all off, he didn’t even visit, make a phone call or even write me a fucking letter! Not to mention that he hates that I do art and has never once said he is proud of me! I mean, he likes that fucking spider kid more than me!”

“Y/n I’m sorr-“ Bucky starts.

“I’m not done.” You cut him off. “I’m sorry about what Hydra did to you, I really am. But everyone has their own shit. The rest of us just chooses not to take it out on other people.” You sigh, finally done.

Bucky stares at you silently, unsure of what to say. You had just dropped a bomb on him and he was thoroughly unprepared.

“Get out.” You tell him quietly, too worn out to yell anymore.

Bucky doesn't put up a fight, simply nodding. He walks slowly to the door, hesitating before leaving. “I’ll tell Tony you’re awake…. I’m sorry y/n.”

As soon as Bucky closes the door, you let out a sigh as you fall back against the bed, already wanting this day to be done.

You're sitting up, sipping on the small juice box the nurse had left by your bed while flipping through the channels on the hospital TV.

The door to your room creaks open, Tony coming from behind it.

“How ya holding up kid?”

You shrug, setting the juice down and muting the TV. “Fine I guess… the juice here is good.”

Tony walks further into the room. “That’s good.” He takes a seat at the end of the bed.

A few moments pass, neither of you knowing what to say. The tension in the room is thick and one of you would have to be the first to cut it.

“Dad.” You finally speak. “We need to talk.”

Tony sighs, an awkward half smile making its way to his face. “Why do I get the feeling that you're not referring to last night?”

“Why-“ your voice cracks, your emotions weighing heavy on you. “Why did you send me away?” You start to tear up. “Why didn’t you call or visit?”

Tony clears his throat, clearly feeling the same emotions bubbling up as you. “I didn’t know what else to do.”

This pisses you off. “You could have had me stay in the hospital wing of the tower! You could have been there for me instead of sending me off like some kind of unwanted burden!” Tears start to leak out of your eyes. “Just like my mom did.” You mumble, voice barely above a whisper.

You had never met your mom, didn’t know anything other than that she was one of Tony’s one night stands. She never cared about you, didn’t even care enough to name you. She simply left you in a basket in the lobby of Stark industries with a note claiming you were his daughter.

Tony moves right beside you, taking your hands in both of his. “You can’t possibly think that.” His voice is strained and you can tell he’s only moments away from crying.

“What was I supposed to think!” You cry.

Tony’s lip quivers as he speaks, two heavy tears falling down his cheeks. “I made a mistake.” He admits. “I thought you would do better being around people you could relate to. That’s why I sent you off.”

“And the reason you didn’t call or visit?” Your shaking hand wipes tears from your eyes.

“When- When you found out I was sending you to a facility upstate you told me you hated me. That you never wanted to see or hear from me again.” Tony pauses. “I thought I was doing what you wanted.”

Then it hits you, it was all your fault. If you had never said those terrible things to your father he may have come to see you.

“I’m so sorry.” You whisper. “It’s all my fault.”

“No, hey, don’t do that.” Tony pulls you close, letting your head rest on his shoulder as you hug. “It was my mistake, I shouldn’t have listened to you. It’s my fault.��

“Dad, you think everything’s your fault.”

“So do you.”

You both laugh lightly. Like father, like daughter.

Tony pulls away from the hug, just enough that you can look him in the eyes. “I just need to know… why’d you do it kid?”

You sigh, frowning. “It’s not anything in particular… it’s just, in the moment, you feel so sad and worthless that you think the only way you can escape the pain is to- is to end it.”

“I’m so sorry you ever felt like that.” Tony apologizes. “I should have known.”

You shake your head. “You can’t fault yourself for that. I hid it well, you couldn’t have known.”

“Still, I just-“

“Let’s not not ruin the moment with ‘ifs and buts’, ok? We’ve finally got it out in the open and now we can move on, right?” You suggest.

Well you worked out most of your problems. He has still never told you that he’s proud of you, but that’s an issue for a later date.

Tony nods, wiping the tears from his eyes. “You’re right, and besides, you have a visitor coming soon.”

You look at him in confusion. Who did he tell?

Before you can even ask, the sound of pounding feet coming running down the hall and into your room.

You resist the urge to roll your eyes.

Peter Parker. And he’s brought flowers.

“You told him?” You angrily whisper to your dad.

“He was worried about you when he didn’t see you at the tower.” He whispers back.

“You could’ve-“ you start to speak but cut yourself of as Peter makes his way over to you.

“Hey Peter.” You sigh. Your feelings towards the boy were complicated. On one hand, you resent him for his relationship with your dad, but on the other, the kid was really sweet and hard to dislike. He was almost like an annoying little brother to you.

“Hey y/n! I’m sorry about uh…” he trails off, not sure what to say. “I brought you flowers!” He changes the subject. “I didn’t know what kind you like so I got you a mix!” He smiles brightly.

You smile back softly, taking the vase of the artificially dyed flowers and setting them on the bedside table.

“Thanks Pete.”

Tony smiles at Peter. “That’s nice of you kid.”

Peter shrugs. “It’s no big deal, I mean, that's what you do for people in hospitals right?”

You nod absentmindedly as you read the card attached to the vase. You furrow your brows as you read it aloud. “Congratulations, welcome to motherhood…”

Both you and Tony give Peter an amused look.

Peter blushes, slightly embarrassed. “I didn’t read it.” He lets out a soft, awkward laugh.

You smile at him genuinely as you chuckle. “Don’t sweat it kid… Now, does anyone know when I can get out of here? I’m dying for a cheeseburger.”

“I’ll let the doctor know you're up and we can go from there.” Tony gives you a pat on the shoulder before getting up from the bed and moving towards the door. “Com’ on Pete, let's give her some privacy so she can change.”

Peter nods, following after your dad. “Later y/n!”

“Later Pete.”

3rd person, Bucky’s perspective

“I fucked up.” Bucky admits as he walks into his shared apartment.

Steve, from the couch hears Bucky come in. “Bucky what the hell happened? Is y/n ok?” He jumps up from his spot and makes his way over to Bucky.

Bucky furrows his brows. “Haven’t you talked to Stark?”

“No.” Steve replies. “The only person I’ve heard from all night is you when you told me that y/n was in an accident and that you were at the hospital.”

“She…” Bucky pauses, debating on how to relay the information. “She left with this guy, some actor… he had drugged her and took her to a motel.” Bucky notices Steve clench his fists.

“Did he-“

“No.” Bucky responds immediately. “I got there just in time.”

Steve sighs, visibly relaxing. “Thank goodness. How is she doing?”

“She's fine. She’s pissed at me but fine.”

Steve groans. “What’d you do now?”

“I yelled at her...Basically said it was her fault.” Bucky admits.

“Why the hell would you do that?!” Now Steve is pissed. “She’s been nothing but nice to you and all you do is treat her like trash!” Steve starts to rant.

“I know, ok! I messed up and now I don’t know what to do!”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Why do you even care? You act like you hate her.”

Bucky groans. “I don’t hate her! Look, I don’t know why but I can’t get her out of my mind. She’s so sweet and perfect and beautiful! I guess I was just pissed because I knew I could never have her! So acted like an ass to make her hate me so the feelings would go away. But it didn’t work, and I only yelled at her this morning because I was so upset with myself for not being there to protect her sooner.”

“You’re an idiot, Barnes.”

“I know.” Bucky sighs. “And I want to fix it. I don’t expect her to ever want to be with me after the way I’ve been acting, but I’d like to at the very least let her know I’m sorry.”

“Maybe start with saying you’re sorry.”

“I don’t think she's going to want to listen to anything I have to say.”

“Then write a note.” Steve suggests. “And attach it to a pack of sour gummy worms.”

“Gummy worms?”

“She loves them. Give her some of those and she might accept your apology.”

Bucky nods. “Anything else I should know?”

“Well she loves Star Wars…”

When Bucky heard y/n had called the Avengers to a meeting, he was surprised to say the least… and a little nervous. Was she going to demand he be kicked out? Not that he will put up a fight, he knows he deserves it.

“Any idea what this is about?” Sam, who is sitting next to Bucky at the table in the meeting room, asks.

Before bucky can respond, y/n walks in, not an ounce of unease shown in her presence.

The Avengers all stop murmuring, giving y/n there full attention.

“I’m sure you’re all wondering why you’re here. I’m not going to pussy-foot around it. It’s going to come out to everyone eventually so I thought it would be best that it comes from me. Last night an actor at the party drugged me, took me to a motel, and attempted to rape me.” She doesn't even hesitate to say it. “I’m fine, he was stopped in time and arrested. No, I will not be talking about it further or answering any questions. If you’re upset, talk about it to someone who’s not me.” She pauses, looking over the faces of everyone in the room, excluding Bucky. “You’re all dismissed.”

Y/n leaves the room, leaving the team to sit and absorb the information just dropped on them.

Before y/n can get too far away, Bucky follows after her, rushing down the hall to catch up to her.

“Y/n wait!”

“I already said I’m not talking about it.” She continues walking down the hall.

“I’m sorry!” Bucky shouts, before she is too far away to hear him.

Y/n surprisingly stops and turns around. “You’re only sorry because you pity me, not because you actually mean it.”

#sebastian stan #bucky barnes #marvel #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x stark!reader #fanfiction

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virtual-luvr · 4 years

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Not fair

Pairing: Sero x Reader

Pronouns: gender neutral; they/them

Warning: angst at first, if theres anything else i should tag as a warning pls tell me <3

Description: did Sero really not notice how much you liked him??

Note: this is defenetly not based off of my daydreaming before going to bed

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Sero had his knees tucked to his chest, head held down so that nobody noticed the tears pricking from his eyes. Big droplets falling onto the fabric of his U.A uniform.

He is breath hitches hearing footsteps near him. He desperately hopes no one catches him, god, it be embarrassing if someone caught him crying.

He didn't want people to think of him as weak.

The footsteps suddenly stop and a figure is sat right in front of him

The figure crouches down and pats Sero's head

Sero looks back at the figure, tears streaming down his face still and he raises both his shaky hands to desperately clean his tears away.

"What's wrong Sero?" You say, tilting your head to the side, worried for your friend

You sit down in front of him, a small frown etched onto your face

"I-its nothing" he hics and stutters while standing up, trying to move his wobbly legs

You swiftly stand up with him and catch him when he's about to fall

"Please Sero talk to me, what's wrong?"

He just sighs, looking down at fiddling with his hands he only give you a small response saying, "its okay, i have to go to class"

And before you could utter out another word he's running off to his classroom.

The frown on your face is back and you grumble as you walk to your own classroom, dragging your feet against the floor.

Even through your whole lecture you were thinking about how you caught Sero in that state, you were seriously worried.

Walking out of the classroom your eyes meet with Ururaka and she gives you a kind smile. Waving at her you run your way over to her and say your greetings towards everyone else in the group.

"Hey Ururaka I need to talk with you"

She gives you a small "hm?" And you both walk somewhere more private other cooing and whistling seeing you both walk alone

Sero sees this and frowns, thinking just like the others that it was a confession and it makes him remember the reason why he was having that breakdown in the first place.

No one liked him, atleast not in that way. Or well thats what he thought.

Not like he'd tell anyone that though

That would be weird, wouldnt it?

Back to you and Ururaka

She softly gasps when you tell her the news, covering her mouth her eyes well up with small tears similar to how Sero was before. She hated seeing or hearing that her friends are sad and when you told her the news she almost broke down as well.

"Do you know why he was like that??" She asks while rubbing at her eyes

"Im not sure, he ran off before i could really ask. But i wanted you to know just in case you could maybe help. I've tried to talk to him these days but he's ignored me" you frown for the third time that day, by your own words at that.

Its really made you sad that he's been ignoring you.

She puffs out her cheeks, her eyes filled with determination, "dont worry (Y/N) ill make sure to find out whats the cause of it, just leave to me!"

And just like that shes off as well

You grab your backpack and hold on tight to it while walking to the cafeteria to get some food

--------------

Sero walked with his friends, head hung low and his usual smile was duller then how it normally was.

"Hey a little birdie told us they saw you crying, are you okay Sero?" Ururaka abruptly says

"What-?" Sero looks at her, chuckling nervously, rubbing at the back of his neck, a habit of his.

"They were really worried about you, did something happen Sero?"

He really felt cornered this time, all his friends waiting for his answer. He chewed on nails and gave out a sigh.

"Its just not fair" he says

"All you guys are so pretty, and smart. And your quirks are amazing and then there's just me with...tape"

They all stood shock and bewildered

Sero keeps on talking

"And ive seen so many people confess to you guys!! Ive never even gotten one confession, i feel like nobody like me in...that way"

He sat there, talking as if there clearly wasn't a person who had a crush on him,

When the person from the next door class has been crushing on him since the day they met.

As if you weren't around the corner listening to what he had to say

Did he really not notice your feelings for him?

You were sad to see him talk so bad about himself, you had never seen him act this way

"Are you an idiot?"

"I cant believe you said that in front of us, in front of (Y/N)!"

"What about (Y/N)?? They're not here--"

God he really was oblivious

"Im here Sero" you walk around the corner giving Sero a sad smile

"Oh (Y/N) hey-"

"Sero that's really not manly of you to say, we all love you, (Y/N) especially!"

You blush at Kirishimas comment, "hey stop it no need to tell Sero that"

"Tell me what?" Sero looks between the both of you, still oblivious to everything

Everybody mentally facepalms except you, they had enough of you both pining for each other without even noticing the others feelings

Ururaka and Kirishima push you closer towards each other and then everyone in group besides you two run away as fast as possible.

An awkward silence falls on the both of you

"Uhm-"

"Sero i dont know how you haven't noticed yet but i really like you please dont think that nobody likes you in that way because i do and have for a long time i mean you barely have any brain cells sometimes but thats okay because i dont either and your smile brightens up my day plus when you use your tape for pranks i find it really funny and-"

You stop your rambling, you didn't want to embarrass yourself just in case he didn't like you in that way

You look at Sero in the eyes and he smiles so brightly it makes your heart melt

There it is

The smile you fell in love with.

Small tears well up in the corners of his eyes and you inch your hands towards his face to wipe them away, but he grabs your face and pulls you toward him

Crashing his lips against yours he smiles into the kiss, you stumble a bit but try to stand your ground even while Sero has a death grip on your collar

"Ser- wAit- we're in pubLIC" you yell out in between kisses

You grab at the back of his uniform so you can at least pull him back from you to breath a bit but its useless, he keeps on kissing you and you receive small pecks all around your face.

"Im guessing thats an 'i like you back'" you say out of breath

"Hell yeah!!"

[1212 words; august/8/2020]

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resilientdolan · 4 years

Text

Drown (G.D)- part 4

A/N: IM SO SORRY THAT IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO UPDATE FKSJSJS IVE BEEN BUSY AS HELL WITH WORK AND DEALING WITH MY SEPTOPLASTY SHIT BUT IM HERE AND FEELING BETTER!

Word-count: 1.5k

Summary: You went out to get some coffee with Ethan, which led you to find out that he knows about your crush towards Grayson. And later on, you discover something else that you don’t even want to know.

T/W: Angst

Tags: @bingexdolan aka my loyal ass reader, thanks for bearing with my ugly writing bye <3

———————————————————————

“Is he mad at me?,” Bianca mumbles before she takes a small sip of her iced latte, with her eyes locked with Ethan’s.

It’s one fine afternoon, and Bianca decided to spend some time with Ethan to catch up with him. He’s usually pretty busy, but apparently today’s her lucky day that he agreed to get some coffee with her. So here she is, with Ethan sitting in front of her. But just him, Grayson’s not coming.

Ethan tilts his head aside for a bit, with his brows scrunched. “It’s not like he’s mad... Maybe more like upset because you chose Declan,” he shrugs.

A soft sigh escapes her as she sets her plastic cup of iced latte down on the table. “But why? He knows Declan. Okay, what if— he’s no longer a douche?,” She replies.

Ethan shakes his head as he shifts his gaze from her, to the view outside the window. “You know, the point is, he doesn’t like Declan. Douche Declan, or Nice Declan, still no from him,” Ethan says.

“True, though,” She replies lazily. “Anyways, where is he?,” Again, she shifts her gaze back to Ethan.

His shoulders rise and fall into a shrug as he speaks. “It’s August 1st. Grayson and Isla’s second anniversary.”

Oh. She can feel her heart shattered into pieces as soon as he mentions that girl’s name, followed with the word ‘anniversary’.

“So they’re going out?”

Jesus, Bianca, why are you so nosy—

“Hmm, I don’t know. He mentioned about having a dinner with Isla to celebrate their anniversary, but also he’s been watching a lot of cooking shows on TV. Maybe he’s chefin’ up?,” Ethan guesses.

He’s willing to cook for his girl? God, if only that lucky girl was her.

“Such a gentleman...,” Bianca mumbles to herself. Ethan chuckles.

“So... they’re probably at your place?,” Again, she asks.

“No, I think they’re going to celebrate it at Isla’s. Mom doesn’t really like Isla and her bitchy attitude,”

“Wait, does Grayson know?,”

“He knows. Mom told him about it like few weeks ago. She told him that Isla’s vibe is just a big no, and I agree,” Ethan explains.

And he’s still keeping her? Such a gentleman, right?

Yes, but not hers.

“Anyways, thanks for helping me with the Biology last night. I finished my test real quick, thanks to you,” Ethan out of nowhere decides to change the topic.

Bianca just gives him a slight nod. “You’re welcome, I’ll try to help you as long as I can,” She shrugs.

Ethan gently taps his fingers against the cold surface of the table lying between them for a while before he finally says something that she has never expected.

“Why would Grayson choose Isla when he got you, Bi?”

Ethan—

“What do you mean?,” Bianca furrows her brows.

“Like... You’re beautiful, you’re nice, and he has known you for years, so why did he have to choose Isla over you?”

She keeps her mouth shut.

“And you’re smart. Like, you can be his tutor slash girlfriend but he ended up dating a seeking attention whore like Isla? God,” Ethan grumbles.

“Ethan—“

“Bianca, he’s dumb! He should’ve picked you instead of Isla,” he mutters.

Bianca shakes her head as she arches her brow. “What if... I’m not into your brother?”

Ethan quickly shifts his gaze back to her the moment she says it. A sarcastic chuckle comes out of his lips, followed with another unexpected thing.

“Don’t be silly, Bianca. You’ve been crushing on him all this time.”

She remains silent, shaking her head. “I told you that I’ve been talking to De—“

“My ass.” Ethan cuts her off real quick. “Yeah, like lately, but how about years ago, Bi?” he attacks her.

Silence.

“Everybody knows that you’re into Grayson. It’s not that I’m mad at you for crushing on him, but the fact that he’s acting all blind makes me sick,” Ethan doesn’t even give her a chance to defend herself.

“E...”

“Tell me I’m right,” he demands.

He knew it all. And there’s nothing she can do to cover it up anymore. Her crush towards Grayson is no longer a secret.

Bianca nods her head slowly as she brings her hand up to run her fingers through her dark locks. “Maybe we’re not meant to be, Ethan,” she mumbles.

“What if you’re actually meant to be with him?,” Again, another strike back from Ethan.

“I—I don’t know...” she mumbles. She can feel her cheek burning red and her eyes start to water.

Don’t cry, Bi.

“I believe so, but my brother’s just dumb,”

She loses it.

She brings the back of her hand up to her face to wipe the tears away, trying her best to act that Grayson and Isla ain’t shit to her, but she just can’t.

“Ethan, I want no one but him...” she sniffles. “But maybe the wait is over, I gotta move on. If he’s happy with Isla, then I deserve my happiness too,” she adds.

Ethan lets out a soft sigh as he reaches his hand out to tuck a strand of hair to the back of her ear. “Hey, sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he coos softly. “But, you know... I got your back. If you feel it’s the time to let go, then do it, Bi. I want nothing but the best for you,” he adds once again, this time, with a small smile in his face.

“We’ll see, I just hope talking to Declan can help me to move on, you know? Starting fresh...”

“I understand,” he nods.

That’s when exactly Ethan’s phone beeps. He quickly checks the latest notification popping into his phone. Turns out it’s from Lisa.

“Hey, I know a way to brighten up your mood,” he grins.

“Huh?,”

“Don’t you miss... this?,” Ethan hands his phone to her, showing a picture sent by Lisa.

Her home made cinnamon rolls. Bianca’s favorite.

“I’ll drive you home later, but right now, let’s get you some of your all time favorite one, Dolan’s home-baked cinnamon rolls,” he chuckles as he gets up from his seat.

Maybe he’s right. Maybe some cinnamon rolls can help.

———————————————————————

“Thanks, Auntie Lisa,” Bianca speaks once she finish her second roll. Lisa gives her a quick nod as she sits on the couch in the living room, joining Bianca and Ethan.

“Hey, no need to thank me. You’re just in luck,” Lisa replies, taking a small sip of her hot chamomile tea.

“Well, I think I need to thank Ethan for dragging me here, then,” Bianca nudges Ethan’s rib playfully as he leans against his seat.

“I know you love Mom’s cinnamon rolls, soo,” Ethan replies quickly.

“Anyway, Ethan, where’s Grayson?,” Lisa asks.

“At Isla’s, I think?,” the twin brother replies lazily. “It’s their anniversary, so I think they’re celebrating it there, maybe?,” he adds.

“He didn’t tell me about that,” Lisa sighs.

“Because we all don’t give a damn about him and Isla. So he thinks he has nothing to tell about when it comes to their relationship,” Ethan rolls his eyes in annoyance.

Bianca’s just there, sitting in complete silence as she tries to process the fact that Grayson keeping his relationship private from his family, all because they dislike Isla.

“He’ll come home soon, Ma. No worries. If you’re tired, get some rest, I’ll wait for him,” Ethan suggests.

“How about Bianca?,”

“Easy, I’ll drive her home later,” Ethan convinces her once again.

“Ah, alright. Let me get some rest, it’s been a tiring day,” Lisa stands up from her seat as she gives Bianca another smile. “Thanks for coming, dear,” she adds.

Bianca gives her a thumb up and a smile as she watches her heading upstairs to her room.

“Relax and have another roll if you want, Bi,” Ethan points at the last cinnamon roll on the plate. Bianca lazily shakes her head as she lean against the seat.

Her mind wanders. Thinking about him.

Grayson.

And that’s when the door opens, and she can hear the sound of a light jog.

It’s him, he’s home.

“I’m home!,” Grayson’s voice echoes.

“You didn’t tell Mom about your anniversary plan?,” Ethan replies.

Bianca chooses to remain silent, to observe his reaction at the fact she’s there post the argument night. He walks into the room and sits on the vacant spot next to Ethan, all smile.

God, there he is. Making her weak with his smile, though she doesn’t even know the reason why.

“Oh, hi, Bi!,” he finally greets her, with a cheeky grin across his lips.

“Are you on drugs or what, Bro?,” Ethan frowns.

“Why?”

“Being all happy like this? Kinda weird...,” Ethan hums.

“Just, excited about the anniversary” he replies.

Oh, one knife thrown to her chest by Grayson Bailey Dolan.

“Mhm, dinner?,” Ethan asks.

“Yeah, yeah, we cooked, and had dinner together. And I gave Isla a necklace, the one that I showed you few weeks ago, remember?,” Grayson continues.

“I do remember,” Ethan nods.

He gave her a necklace? Second knife.

“And... you know... we did it,” he lowers his voice that it nearly sounds like a whisper.

“Did what?,” Ethan’s brows furrow.

“That...” Grayson rolls his eyes, getting annoyed at Ethan being lame.

“You and Isla...,” Ethan mumbles.

“No worries, protection, bro,” Grayson replies.

Protection?

“Wait, you and Isla had...” Ethan turns his gaze to Grayson, then back to Bianca.

“Yes, Ethan. We did it,” Grayson exclaims proudly.

Third knife to her chest.

#grayson dolan #douche!gray #grayson blurb #grayson dolan fic #highschool!gray #tgabs'write

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queenofheaven82 · 3 years

Text

PART IV -- Dance Parties and Broken Hearts

Thanksgiving came a few days later. It slipped up so quickly Lacey nearly forgot about the holiday until the day before, when her mom suddenly yelled, "It's snowing! Finally! And for Thanksgiving!"

Thanksgiving had never been a particularly big holiday for the Primmers. Her mom usually ordered a turkey and fixings from a nearby grocery store in lieu of cooking, and mostly they sat in front of the TV watching football with Stuart as they ate. But this year, Darlene seemed to have something different on her mind.

"I found some autumn china at the Dollar Tree -- can you believe it?! -- and that's what we're using this year. At the table. With my old goblets I got at my wedding shower when I married your dad."

Lacey swallowed. Why didn't Mom know by now that mentioning her dad around her was a huge mistake? She reached up under her hair to finger a small strand, willing herself not to pull.

So Thursday came, and as snow came down in sheets outside the townhouse window, Lacey's mom spread out a tablecloth at their rarely-used dinner table and worked on some very well-done place settings. Stuart's usual cheerful personality was dampered slightly by the fact that it was Davy's mom's turn to have him over the holiday, but Lacey could tell he was trying for the sake of everyone else to keep his spirits up.

Her mom also went through the trouble to put the takeout in serving dishes, so Lacey almost felt like she was having Thanksgiving at a totally different house. But it was nice.

Just as they were sitting down to eat, however, the doorbell rang. Ariel, ever nosy, jumped up first and made a dash for the door.

Stuart's brow furrowed. "Who could that be?"

A moment later, they found out. Max followed Ariel, who rolled her eyes at Lacey, into the dining room.

"Hey! What's doin'?" he inquired enthusiastically, coming over and giving Lacey a forehead kiss. "My old man's in a mood, so I thought I'd just come over here. That okay?" He took off his scarf and coat and draped them across the back of Lacey's chair.

Lacey was speechless. Max rarely liked coming to her house. To what did she owe this?

Her mom looked none too happy. "Well... come on in, then." She stood up and grabbed a paper plate, evidently short on the dollar tree china, and pulled over a stool from the corner of the kitchen.

"Thanks Ms. P." Max wedged himself between Lacey and Halen. "So how's it goin?"

Stuart could always be counted upon to be polite. "Ah, very well! Nice to have fresh snow on Thanksgiving, isn't it?"

Max loaded his plate up, and shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. I think the same thing happened last year."

Lacey wanted to melt into the floor.

"So I hear you played a good game against Eden Hall a couple weeks ago, scored quite a few goals. Congratulations," Stuart passed the yeast rolls.

"Banks was taken out, so that helped alot." Max ate a fork full of green beans.

"Adam Banks? I'd bet. He's a tough one to go up against, isn't he? Davy says hardly anyone stands a chance."

"Yeah, well," Max smirked. "I think he's losing his edge. Orion benched him halfway through the game because he was skating like a forty-year-old. Maybe he's preoccupied with girl problems."

"Watch it," Darlene remarked. "I'm getting there, Max."

"Girl problems?" Ariel asked, smiling.

Darlene gave her a look. "No, smartypants. Forty."

But Lacey had zoned out of the banter. She wanted to say something, she just wasn't sure what yet. However, her mom afforded her the opportunity.

"That boy is probably just like his dad. Full of ego. Maybe being benched will take him down a knotch or two," Darlene muttered.

Lacey set her fork down gingerly. "I don't think Adam should be blamed for what his dad's like, you guys. And maybe something's genuinely wrong with him that caused him to not be at his best. We really don't know that much about him."

Max stared at her a moment. "Well, you apparently know enough to call him 'Adam.' What's with that? He's always been 'Banks' to everybody else."

Lacey felt her blood pressure rise slightly. "Well, his name is Adam. And I'm pretty sure he's a human being before he's a hockey player and Phil Banks's son."

The table went quiet. Everyone stared at her in disbelief except for Stuart, who ducked his head down, continuing to eat.

"I'm... just saying, I guess, that if he was benched, something might really be wrong. So we could show a little compassion." She looked at Max as she said this.

Max turned wordlessly back to his food and began to eat again, but more slowly this time. Lacey fidgeted with her napkin and slid to the edge of her chair, wondering why she'd bothered to say anything if it was going to disrupt the entire dinner. She squeezed the napkin hard.

After a few minutes of silence, Stuart stood up and left the room. Lacey wondered for a moment if she'd upset him, too, even though to her memory he'd never said one bad word about Banks.

But the reason he left became clear after a moment. "Hey. I think I hear something," she heard him call from the living room. "It's coming closer. Anybody else hear it?"

Ariel and Halen paused their eating and looked up at Lacey, who couldn't suppress her own smile.

"Oh God, not now, Stuart," her mom rolled her eyes. But it was too late.

Suddenly the dramatic intro chords of Poison Arrow by ABC sounded throughout the house.

"Alright, Girls! Let's see some dancing!" Stuart called in.

Quick as lightning, the twins jumped up, giggling, and ran into the living room, followed by Lacey. Stuart's dance parties and the girls' enthusiasm over them were infectious.

"What the--?" She heard Max questioning behind her.

Stuart grabbed Lacey's hands as soon as she entered the living room and began twirling her to the beat of the synth pop. She laughed. "This isn't a twirl song, Stuart!"

Ariel and Halen were leaning in, singing into one another's faces:

"Who broke my heart? You did! You did!

You think you're smart? Stupid! Stupid!

Shoot that poison arrow to my heeeeart!"

They danced around in no specific style, jumping up onto the couch and grabbing remote controls and the cordless phone to use as microphones. Lacey couldn't help laughing at their antics while dancing with Stuart.

She happened at one point to spot Max in the doorway staring at them all with a furrowed brow as though he couldn't understand what the big deal was.

"Stuart's British dance parties," Lacey laughed breathlessly after it was all over. "He springs them on us sometimes."

"Ugh, I feel like I'm gonna hurl," Ariel winced.

"I guess you do!" Lacey's mom called from the kitchen. "Dancing in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner..."

Stuart's actions blessedly lightened up the tone of the rest of the meal, but Max remained quiet despite having filled his plate twice more. After the pumpkin pie her mom had bought frozen from Publix, Max stood. "Thanks Ms. P, that was awesome. Lacey, walk out with me?"

Lacey stood, sensing something in Max's tone she wasn't sure of. She put on her scarf and coat, pulling the fur-lined hood up over her head before heading outside.

"Babe..." Max took a deep breath. "I don't know what's been into you lately, but it's weird. You just haven't been yourself. And, I mean, I don't know what to make of you taking up for Banks all of a sudden after the way his dad has treated your mom. How is it you know him? Seriously?"

Lacey felt her ire rising. "I don't, Max, good grief! He came into the cat shelter earlier in the week to bring in kittens, and just... we talked some. He's not the jerk you say he is. But it's not like we're best buddies or anything."

"Oh, okay," Max quipped. "He brought in cats, so now he's suddenly this standup guy. You're obsessed with damn cats, so no wonder."

"So what if he was a standup guy? How does that threaten you? I have as much right to think him decent from our conversation at the Cat's Cradle as you do to think he's a jackass just because he's a better hockey player than you."

The moment she said it, she knew she'd made a mistake. Max tightened his jaw and narrowed his eyes.

"Okay. I don't get what's with you, but you know who you've been reminding me of lately?" Max leaned in. "Loosey Lacey from middle school."

Lacey's mouth went dry and she felt her insides tremble with rage. For a moment, she couldn't speak.

When she finally did, she knew she couldn't take it back.

"Go. Just go. And Max? Don't come back."

Max's expression changed to one of surprise.

"It's been coming for awhile now, so let's just end this, okay?" Lacey turned to go back inside.

"Oh. Alright," Max threw his hands up. "I tell you the truth about yourself and you wig out and decide to throw the whole thing in the trash can."

"It's not just what you said, Max," she whirled around. "It's about your ego. Everything is always about you. It's about you pushing me to have sex. It's about you wanting to tool around at State while expecting me to sit here waiting for you. I just... I want something different."

Max stared at her for a long while. "Okay. If that's what you want, it's over. But with all your issues, Lacey? Good luck finding anybody else. Unless you want to give Banks a go. You seem pretty taken with him."

Lacey shook her head slowly. "If anybody's obsessed with Banks, it's you, Max. You can't stand to have any competition, can you?"

With that, she turned and went back into the house, wiping angry tears. She made her way back into the dining room, trying to look nonplussed, but everyone was quiet as she took her seat again and she sat staring down at her plate.

"Lacey?" Stuart spoke gently. "Did it not go well?"

"It's done," Lacey finally spoke.

Awkward silence perpetuated until she heard the sound of chair legs scraping linoleum as Stuart got up and came around to put his hands on her shoulders. With that, she began to cry again..

It wasn't so much that she was devastated at losing Max, but the fact that he called her someone she believed she no longer was -- someone she hoped she would never be again. It hurt down to her bones to remember that frightened girl, and why she had become that. Worse yet, she worried Max was right: that girl never left.

Lacey stood up and fell into Stuart's arms, hot tears spilling down her cheeks.

"He's a falling leaf, Lass. They're a dime a dozen. You'll recover and find an even better lad, I just know it."

She held onto Stuart tightly -- the only man she'd dared to consider a father, and the only man who had ever thought her to be good enough just like she was.

************************************

Adam had done Thanksgiving with his parents, plus Travis, who was in from Chicago. He and his brother had never been particularly close, so he knew it probably wouldn't bother him for Adam to return to Eden Hall that evening instead of spending the night at his house. Several of the Ducks did the same, feeling in many ways closer to their team members than they even did their biological families. And some, like Mendoza and Portman, had too far to travel and had just stayed. So they'd all planned to meet back at the dorm after family activities, except for Julie, who had opted to spend the night at Connie's.

"Red hair," Portman stretched out on the couch in the day room. "You get a woman with red hair and green eyes, you know she's gonna have that sassy edge. So make it that, for me. Red hair, green cat eyes and a sweet a-- oh wait, can't say that word. It would hurt Kenny's pure ears."

The guys laughed and Kenny Wu turned red, rolling his eyes.

"Banksie, your turn."

They all looked over at Adam, who had known this question would come around to him eventually. "Let's see." He looked at the ceiling. "I don't really care what color it is, but long hair for sure. And brown eyes."

"Brown?" Charlie turned around to him, interested. "Let's think who has brown eyes. Maybe we'll finally narrow down who Adam's got a radar for," he smiled at his friend.

Adam shook his head. "No, I guess I was just thinking..." he reached over for the bag of Frito's. "Shipley's girlfriend has big brown eyes, and they're kind of... hooded in the outer corners. Reminds me a little of chocolate drops," he added, thoughtfully.

He should have counted on the whole room cracking up the minute he said the last part.

"Oooh, 'chocolate drops.'" Tyler tossed his dirty overshirt at Adam. "Banksie's a romantic, you guys. Come on, we always knew it!"

Adam caught the shirt, smirking as he threw it back.

"Whoa, whoa. You got your eye on Shipley's girl?" Luis's eyes went wide. "That the latest play you've got against the Rockets?"

"Well here's the question, when did you ever see Shipley's girl up close?" Goldberg inquired.

Adam shrugged. "She volunteers at a cat shelter. I had to take a couple of them over there after they were left at my dad's rental property on Green Street. I just recognized her."

"You been talking to Max Shipley's girlfriend?" Fulton was incredulous.

"No! I just said she has nice eyes. Jeez," Adam replied, feeling mildly defensive for some reason. "And by the way, her name's Lacey."

Averman whistled. "Classy."

"She is pretty," Guy remarked. "Can't deny it, even if she is a Rocket groupie."

"Yeah, we'll be sure to tell Connie you said so," Portman chuckled. "But nah, nah, I hear you. Nice full lips, too. Like, just enough."

"Alright, alright," Adam smirked again, trying to ignore that last part. "Averman? Let's hear yours."

Not that Adam didn't legitimately want to hear what kind of girl Averman might like -- it was bound to be entertaining -- but his thoughts turned inward. Obviously he wouldn't make a play for Lacey, but even just thinking about it for a minute was a little disconcerting.

And this was why Adam didn't date or allow himself to even think very seriously about it. Everything he had was going toward being good enough for the NHL draft. And that meant no distractions. Plus, what Travis had always told him might be right, even though he hated hearing it: when it came to girls, Adam was a little shy. He wouldn't know exactly how to go about pursuing one. Charlie had done a much better job of this with Linda, and he'd felt a little envious at the time.

But no reason to think about all that right now. Lacey Primmer was just another pretty face, and not his. Meanwhile, it was time for bed... and the IcyHot he'd filched from his mom's medicine cabinet. She didn't use it anymore, so he didn't feel too guilty.

He had been out of Percocets for days, even though he'd tried hard to ration them. The next few days, he'd have to do whatever it took to roll out of bed and move normally, despite the constant, agonizing pain that had overtaken his entire body like a cancer.

#adam banks #mighty ducks #trichotillomania #1990s nostalgia

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parkaiur · 5 years

Text

[Real]istic Fiction - Mashiho

❀ Fluff + comedy ft. brother!Junkyu

❀ Word Count: 8.8 K

❀ After getting your first F on a creative writing assignment, and your first F EVER, you start to lose confidence in your writing abilities. Thankfully, your professor gives you one more shot, but this time, you can’t write something you’re comfortable with, leaving you with more and more insecurities about your writing. Soon your brother and best friend launch Operation: [Real]istic Fiction, or also called Operation: Making the boy in your creative writing class fall in love with you... but that’s too long. As the week goes on and you start to become less and less like yourself; you start to wonder if the boy you’re seducing is really the one you like... and why does your heart beat a bit faster when you see your best friend?

❀ dedicated to all the fanfiction writers out there ♡

❀ A/N: this was written with all the fanfiction writers in mind :) and also this particular character resonates with me a lot since im (obviously) a fanfiction writer myself and there’s lots of prejudice surrounding it & sometimes it can affect me,, not only with the prejudice but with the pressure from the expectations :( and sometimes it’s hard for me to write about something ive never experienced or never felt comfortable with... hmmm /sigh/ i wish i had a mashiho and junkyu and all of the other characters in here hehe,, no spoils :0

i hope you guys enjoy this one because i really enjoyed writing it!

-------

“F?!?! I got an F?!”

I shouted in my seat, feeling anger run through my veins. My professor looked at me with a pitiful, yet stern face.

“Y/N, I’m open to discussing grades after class. Come meet me if you have the time.” She whipped her head around and ignored me once again, leaving me to feel hopeless and lost at the terrible grade.

No, it’s not like I was the best student. I got some A’s, but got mostly B’s and C’s, especially in my first quarter at college, but I wasn’t an F student. This was one of the biggest essays of this quarter and I could NOT let this tank my whole grade.

Creative writing was one of the only classes I felt confident in, and at this grade, I felt like a total loser and jipped of something people always told me I was good at. I was one of the most popular fanfiction writers online and to receive a grade as bad as this was embarrassing!

“Class is over, talk to me if you have questions about the essay or grade.”

“It’s okay, y/n, Irene is a tough cookie. She is probably just doing this to push you.” My classmate, Byounggon told me. I nodded and tightened the straps on my backpack to release my anger. I tightened them, and loosened them, something I did when I was nervous.

Byounggon was three years older than me, so I decided to put my trust in him. “I hope you’re right or else I’m going to tear out all my hair.” I said dramatically as he let out a bark of laughter.

“See you later, kid.” I waved him off as I stormed over to Irene’s desk.

“An F...” I trailed off, wiggling my fingers at her. She scoffed and took a look at my paper. “You told me I was an amazing writer when we did timed writing in class, how could this be? Is this a mistake?” I shot questions at her as she adjusted her glasses calmly.

Even looking at her made me angry.

She sighed and cleaned her desk with a serene face. “Y/n, you’re an amazing writer yes, and to be honest, I was very disappointed with your writing for this short story.” I furrowed my brows and looked at my writing. It wasn’t a big difference from what I wrote in class, how could it be so bad?

“Can I ask how? It has no comments on here.” The professor sighed and didn’t look at me as she talked to me, twiddling a pencil in her hands.

I grew impatient at her actions as I still had lots of homework to do. “Y/n, this is plagiarism. It was ungradable.”

My eyes widened at her profound accusation. “Excuse me?” I spat.

She then locked eyes with me and looked at me tiredly. “Y/n, you used characters from a book that was already written. That’s plagiarism-”

“No! That’s not, yes, these characters have names already, but I gave them a new life, a new personality, a new story!” Irene patted me on the shoulder.

“Honey, fanfiction is not professional. I’m sorry, but my word is final.”

I felt tears threatening to fall from my eyes, but I couldn’t cry in front of her. She noticed my sad mood and sighed. “Ok, here’s the deal. I wouldn’t offer this to lots of people, but I know your potential.”

I nodded quickly, my hair whipping in my face.

“I’ll give you til’ next Monday. A week and a couple of days to write a new story for me. A real one, with your ideas- not fanfiction. Got it?” I nodded furiously. “Ok, I trust you, don’t let me down!”

I scurried out of her classroom, my tears finally falling in anger. I wiped them away.

“Woah, woah, woah, why are you crying? Are you okay?”

At the familiar voice, I sobbed harder and fell onto the boy’s broad chest. “Woah there,” he exclaimed. He rubbed my back and patted my head slowly even though he didn’t know the situation.

“Mashiho.” I whined softly. He sighed and hugged me tighter. I loved hugging Mashiho, he felt so firm and buff. Even though he was on the shorter side, he felt manly whenever I held him.

He pulled away and looked at me in the eyes. “Y/n...” He tried not to laugh at my crying face. I slapped him lightly on the cheeks. He gasped and started to laugh.

“Stop laughing!!” I cried harder at his teasing face. His face turned serious and he wiped my tears. “Ok, ok, tell Mashi what’s wrong.” I sniffled and wiped my tears on his sleeve.

“Professor Bae gave me an F on my short story!” At my announcement, I cried harder onto his shoulder. People in the courtyard stared at us, but I didn’t care at the moment. I had worse things going on in my life.

“Look, tell me more about it at the dorm, c’mon.” He picked me up and I just held onto him like a baby.

My dorm was a 10 minute walk from campus, but Mashiho got me there in 8. I guess it helped to work out.

“Y/n, we need to climb the stairs now.” I nodded and ran up the stairs with him, not wanting my dorm mates to see me.

Mashiho and I had been best friends since he moved here from Japan in our sophomore of high school. I was quite the introvert and hated to talk to people on top of that. I was constantly annoyed and hated to converse with my peers.

Mashiho and I clicked immediately as he was persistent on becoming my friend, the moody girl in his biology class.

I used to like Mashiho when we first met. He was that nice guy. And a pretty one at that. All the girls talked about him, fawning over his good looks and nice body, and a kind personality on top of all that. I almost felt proud that I was the one he talked to everyday. That I was the one he talked to about his problems, his concerns, and his good days.

I thought he didn’t take interest in those other girls until he told me he liked a girl in our biology class a few months later. They were dating the next day.

And I never liked him again. It was one of those fleeting crushes that wasn’t really a real love.

I’d never been in love.

“Hello? Y/n?” Mashiho’s hand fluttered over my face. “Open the door?” I sniffled and unlocked it. I immediately ran in and plopped on my bed.

I let out small cries and sobs into my pillow, feeling the anger and sadness leave my body. The bed shifted and Mashi laid next to me, pulling me close to him.

“Woah, not too close!” My eyes shot open and I looked to my right.

“Junkyu!? What are you doing here?!” My older brother laughed and dangled keys in front of me.

“I’m chilling in your dorm, duh. I was getting bored.” He lifted the keys again. “Oh yeah, I stole your keys and made a copy of them.” I groaned and laid back on my bed. Mashiho rubbed my back in soothing patterns.

Junkyu was one year older than me and unfortunately, the only college that accepted me was the one he went to. Don’t get me wrong, I love my brother, but comparing me and him, he was the one everybody loved. I was the one everyone tolerated.

“Hey dude, how was class?” Junkyu asked Mashiho. The younger boy shrugged.

“Alright, much more interesting after y/n came running into my arms sobbing.” I flicked him on the forehead and he scooted down to hug me. “I’m joking.” He said softly, making my heart race.

“What?? Why are you crying y/n??” Junkyu cried, jumping onto my bed. Oh great, the dorm beds barely fit one person, now there were three.

“Irene gave me an F on my short story because she said it was plagiarism! How dare she! I’ve been writing fanfiction my entire life, and never once has anyone told me that what I was writing was wrong!” I shouted into my pillow. I felt the both of them pat me on the head, soothing my anger. But it just made me more angry. I shooed their hands away and shot up.

“y/n, I mean, how did you think writing fanfiction was going to go in your class?” Junkyu said carefully. I could see Mashi shaking his head at him. I pushed Junkyu off my bed and hugged Mashiho tighter.

“Ow, you dick-” Mashiho pushed Junkyu and shooed him away.

“What he means y/n, is that did your professor tell you if you can make up the grade?” Mashiho said while patting my head. I always felt calmer in his hands.

I sighed and nodded. “Yeah, she told me I could rewrite a whole new short story by next Monday, then she would give me the credit on however I wrote that.” The two boy’s shot up.

“Oh my God, y/n, that’s amazing! You can do that, one hundred percent!” Junkyu slapped my back which made me yelp. Mashiho laughed and immediately soothed it. “What he said, without the slap.” I glared at Junkyu and laid back down.

These boys wouldn’t understand, they’ve been in love twice. They didn’t have the same problem as me.

I sighed loudly which didn’t go unnoticed to Mashiho’s ears. “What’s bothering you?” He stared at me with his big doe eyes, and I know I couldn’t lie to him. I leaned against my wall and stared at the two of them.

“I just... I just can’t write ‘real’ stories. It feels weird to me... Like I get writing for characters that already exist because I can see their love.” I sighed loudly. “I’ve never been in love, so I don’t know how to write it. It’s hard for me to show my emotions and be so vulnerable.” I whined.

The two boys were silent at my confession, which made me nervous. The silence was cut by my annoying older brother.

He laughed and stared at me like it was obvious. “What?” I snapped.

He laughed again. “It’s obvious.” Mashiho looked at Junkyu in confusion.

“What?” Mashiho asked. Junkyu sighed and stood up. He grabbed a whiteboard.

“It’s easy. You need to fall in love.”

❀ ❀ ❀

Mashiho and I stared at the older boy with bug eyes.

“What the fuck?”

Junkyu sighed and started to write something down. “Seriously! You just need to fall in love and then you can write your story. You said that you have never been in love so you never have felt vulnerable or weak in that sense, so you need to get yourself to experience it. It’s simple.”

I exchanged glances with Mashiho who was staring dumbly at the wall.

I wiggled my nose and stared into my brother’s eyes. “Ok... you know, when you say it that way, it kinda makes sense. I just need more experiences.” Junkyu clapped his hands.

“YES! Experiences, you just need to put yourself out there a little bit. Everyone knows you as that weird writer chick who likes to read and plot everyone’s murder, so you need to try and break out of that! Like go to parties, flirt with boys, I don’t know, wear revealing clothes...”

Junkyu trailed off and wrote something on the board. “We’ll call it Operation: Realistic Fiction. Brackets over the Real because this will be your fiction novel, and it’ll very much be real. You get to be the protagonist this time!” He said cheerfully. I glanced over to Mashiho who was boredly tossing a ball against my bed.

“What do you think, Mashi?” I asked with a soft voice, twiddling my fingers round and round.

His approval meant a lot to me, and I don’t think I could go through with this whacky plan without it.

The boy locked in my eyes with cold eyes that I almost fell back. But then he smiled, a familiar Mashiho smile. “It sounds crazy, but I think it has good aspects.” Junkyu squealed and hugged the boy.

“Great! It’s a go, now, let’s think of boys that I think are a good fit for you.”

He jotted down a name. “Yoonbin?” I cringed and scooted away. “Hell no, too emo and angsty for me.” Mashiho nodded in agreement. Junkyu crossed off the name.

“Ok, um, how about Jihoon?” I shook my head.

“No, no, he’s a little... too much for me.” Junkyu nodded and crossed his name off. He then thought long and hard and wrote a name down quickly.

“How about Byounggon hyung? He’s charming, nice, sweet, funny, handsome, smart, and easy to talk to.” Junkyu went on and on about him. “He’s a perfect fit for you, he’s like one of those boys in those cheesy books you read!”

I blushed and twiddled my thumbs. Byounggon was a really nice guy and he was easy to talk to. And him being in my creative writing class would help a lot.

I bit my lip and twirled my hair in my finger. “You’re right, Junkyu. Byounggon would be a perfect guy to fall in love with.” The two boys high-fived, and suddenly I had no choice.

I saw Mashiho’s happy smile when Byounggon’s name was announced, making me lose hope that maybe Mashiho wouldn’t want me to go through with this plan.

“Ok, fine, operation, fall in love with Byounggon. And have him fall in love with me?” I questioned.

The two boys nodded.

“Good, now, the planning. We only have one week to do this, we have to start planning now!

❀ ❀ ❀

Junkyu left my dorm after two hours of planning, which made my head throb in pain.

“My brother is dumb and smart at the same time.” Mashiho nodded and pulled some apple juice out of my fridge.

“That he is. But are you sure about this? You’re kind of... shy and uhhh aggressive.” He noted. I rolled my eyes and sipped out of his cup, the apple juice giving me some sugar.

“I’m sure. I need to put myself out there, plus, Byounggon is nice, even if this doesn’t work out, he’ll still be my friend. But, with Junkyu’s help, I think it could possibly... work.” I said with a hopeful tone. Mashiho snorted at my voice. “What’s so funny?” I glared.

The boy said nothing and just shrugged. “Nothing. You hungry?” I nodded as he threw me a ham and cheese sandwich that was in my fridge. I caught with ease as he took the tuna.

“How was your day? You didn’t say much.” I asked him. He shrugged and munched on his sandwich.

“Nothing that exciting. Nothing too bad. I mean, some girls asked me for my numbers, but that’s it.” I rolled my eyes and bit my sandwich angrily.

“Wow, you say that say calmly. If a boy asked me for my number, I would faint.” Mashiho laughed and took a sip of juice.

“No you wouldn’t, it’s not that crazy.” For you, I wanted to say. Mashiho was always being followed by girls and I’ll admit, I liked it when he ignored them for me. Mashiho was still my best friend despite having so many admirers.

I tossed my napkin away and sat back down. Before I could say anything, I heard my door open, signaling the arrival of my roomie.

She was with her boyfriend who was walking her in. “Hey, y/n, hey, hot boy.” She winked at Mashiho as soon as her boyfriend left. Mashiho gave her an awkward smile.

“Hey.”

“Hey Jessica.”

Jessica was always trying to get with Mashiho. I somewhat think she’s joking, but sometimes I don’t.

“Um, I’d better go now, that calculus homework won’t do itself.” Jessica laughed and waved to him.

“Bye, Mashi~” She cooed. I resisted the urge to barf.

He waved to the girl and then to me. “Later, Mashiho.”

“Later.”

Then he left.

“Ugh, he’s so hot, how haven’t you guys hooked up already?” I choked wildly on my apple juice. “Like forreals, have you seen that boy? Yum.” I rolled my eyes and hid my blush.

“We are just friends, Jessica. Nothing more, nothing less.” I narrowed my eyes at her and she backed away, holding her arms up.

“Fine, fine, I’ll back down.”

I bit my lip, wondering to tell her about Byounggon. Jessica wasn’t the smartest person, but she was good at getting boys. This was her third boyfriend since getting into college. And we started school in August. It was January.

And that was not counting her multiple flings inbetween.

“Um, I actually like this boy named Byounggon.” Her eyes widened and she tossed her lolipop she was fiddling in her mouth.

I cringed at her intense gaze. “Really? I mean, Byounggon is hot, but I always thought you had the hots for Mashiho. Anyways, good for you!” She cheered, patting me on the shoulder.

I shook as she patted me harshly. I cleared my throat, “Um, would it be bad if I started to borrow your clothes too? Like with your permission of course.”

She paused what she was doing and stared at me with her intense cat eyes. “Dude... of course. What the fuck, take anything you want as long as you give it back. Show him what he needs, rawr!”

I hoped I wouldn’t regret this.

❀ ❀ ❀

1. You must talk to him, initiating conversation shows that you’re interested.

I looked at the notes Junkyu typed in my phone and took a deep breath. You can do this, y/n. I walked into my creative writing class and saw Byounggon already sitting there, playing on his phone with his hood up.

I carefully took the seat next to him, and smiled at him. He glanced up at his phone and smiled back.

I wiped my palms on my jeans as I prepared myself for the conversation.

“Hey, Byounggon, how was your day today?” I asked kindly. The boy set down his phone and thought about it for a while. “Hmmm, good question. I would probably say pretty good so far. How ‘bout you?”

I noticed his soft smile and kind eyes as he said those words. Is it working? How will I know if it’s working?

I bit my lip, searching for a cute answer. “Um, not too shabby. Better now that I’m in this class.” I said honestly. I liked this class a lot, despite my grade falling drastically at the F. I mean, I could improve it by writing my short story, so I tried to stay positive.

Byounggon smiled and twiddled his pencil. “Oh really, what makes you like it so much?” He gave me a taunting smile as I didn’t know what to say. Shit, flirting wasn’t this early.. what do I do?

Suddenly, I heard a bunch of papers slam on the desk. “Ok class, get ready to write!”

Phew, saved by Irene.

❀ ❀ ❀

“How’d it go?” Mashiho asked. I grumbled as I took a harsh bite of my apple.

“I don’t know! Um, so basically I told him that I liked our creative writing class and then he was like ‘what makes you like it so much’ and I think he wanted me to say he was the reason?? Am I wrong?” I practically yelled at Mashiho.

The boy chuckled and set me down gently. “Yes, that’s what he wanted. That means you’re doing great, y/n. See? Boys like you.” He ruffled my hair, then his phone started to ring.

“Hello?” He answered quickly. “Um, yeah, I’m free, what’s up?” I felt kind of hurt that he said he was free since we were hanging out. But I guess we see each other every single day. “Uh, yeah, sure. I’ll be there.”

He hung up the phone and gave me an apologetic look. “Sorry, um, I have to go now.” He said, slipping on his shoes.

I bite my apple once more.“What for?”

He sighed and slipped on his jacket in a frenzy. “Um, this girl I’ve been seeing, she just asked me to have lunch so... yeah.”

I nodded and gave him a thumbs up.“Cool, cool, have fun! Wear protection.” He rolled his eyes and flicked me on the arm.

“Whatever, weirdo. See you later, prepare for tomorrow!” I nodded forcefully and closed the door, trying not to let my sudden aching heart get in the way of Operation: [Real]istic Fiction.

❀ ❀ ❀

2. You must compliment him. Guys LOVE to be complimented and it also shows that you’re interested. Make sure you seem really interested in what you’re complimenting so that he knows it’s not just you being nice. Be deliberate.

I sat down, earlier than Byounggon today and prepared a compliment. He walked in with a black hoodie and black jeans. His earrings were in today, and I had to admit, he looked good.

Really good.

“Hey, I really like your earrings, they look cool.” I complimented as sincerely as I could. The boy fiddled with his earrings and smiled. “Thanks, dude. I just got these.”

They dangled down and wiggled as he kept moving his face. I’ll admit it, I like guys with piercings. “Nice pick.”

He nodded and gave me another dimpled smile.

The professor walked in, cutting our conversation short. “I like your earrings too, they’re cute.” He whispered in my ear.

I blushed at the proximity but smiled back.

Score.

❀ ❀ ❀

“Uh, I complimented his earrings today. I mean, he did look really good today. Like, really good. Like, I was about to drool in my seat dude.” I babbled to Mashiho.

We were in the courtyard today, away from all the people. It was a slow Tuesday thing. He picked at his fries, not really paying attention to me.

“Um, hello? Mashiho? Mashi?” I waved my hands in front of his face. He peered up at me with bored eyes. I sighed and took a bite of my salad. “What? Did I not compliment him, right?” I said in a small voice. I was terrified of messing this up, terrified!

Mashiho then pushed his fries away and stood up. “You’re doing just fine, y/n. He’ll be in love before you know it.” I furrowed my brows as he started to put on his shoes and jacket.

“W-where are you going?” I asked quickly.

Mashiho sighed. “Another date, sorry. See you tomorrow?” I nodded furiously, trying not to feeling emotional at his departure.

As he turned away, I let them fall freely. I rubbed them, wondering why he was leaving me for other girls all the time.

Did he not care for me anymore?

I sighed and picked up my lunch to throw it away.

Whatever, it’s not like I like him anyways.

❀ ❀ ❀

3. Openly state how single you are: dropping your single state will definitely be a BIG hint that you’re interested. It’ll show that you’re available and I already know Byounggon is available, so you don’t have to worry about that part.

I walked into class and saw Byounggon playing on his phone like usual.

As I walked towards him, he looked up at me and smiled. “Hey, y/n, what’s up?” He said first. He initiated conversation, that’s a good sign.

I sat down and pulled out my journals, casually of course. “Nothing much, umm...” I thought of what to say that would make me seem single. “Oh, well kind of in a bad mood.” He furrowed his brows together in concern.

“Aw, why?”I gulped and bit my lip. “Um, because last night my room mate Jessica and her boyfriend were being super lovey dovey in my living room and it was just disgusting. I cannot handle couples, especially when I’m single.” I lied.

Byounggon then gave me a confused look, making me nervous. “Huh.” He finally said.

That doesn’t sound too good.

“Huh what?” I asked to further understand his concerns.

Byounggon shrugged and tilted his head like he was unsure of himself. “Oh, it’s just I thought you were dating Mashiho.”

I stopped moving for a couple of seconds until I burst out into nervous laughter.

“What? Mashiho and I? No!! Never, we’re just friends, pfft.” I said quickly, rambling off random words.

Byounggon raised a brow and leaned back in his chair. “Mashiho is also dating someone right now so... yeah that would be awkward if we were dating as well.” I joked, hoping he got the point.

Byounggon gave me a sad look. “Well, I’m sorry.”

“S-sorry for what?”

Byounggon looked at me with a serious stare. “Uh, because you like Mashiho, right?”

I froze at his words, stopping every movement I was making.

My mind went numb at his accusation and I didn’t know what to say.

“What? No! I don’t like Mashiho, that would be so weird. He’s my best friend, only my best friend. Just friends, you know? Buddies, bros, best buds...” I trailed off, realizing how stupid I was sounding.

I looked over to Byounggon who was giving me a tight smile.

“One more synonym and I’ll believe you.”

❀ ❀ ❀

“So, what did you guys talk today?” Mashiho stuffed his faced with a bunch of chips as we were chilling in my dorm room again.

This time, Junkyu was with us. “Yeah, how was the whole announcing of the single thing? Tell us everything!” I bit my lip as they waited in anticipation.

“U-um…” I trailed off. “Basically I told him that I was annoyed of Jessica and her boyfriend canoolding on the couch and how it was even grosser since I was single.” I noted quickly, not mentioning the whole Mashiho thing.

Junkyu clapped his hands together. “Good! He got the message then, now, tomorrow and the day after, it’s your turn to make him notice you!”

Junkyu brought out the clipboard again and pointed to trick number 4.

“Number four: wear revealing clothes. Guys are dogs, they obviously like seeing some skin, especially when a girl rarely shows it.”

Junkyu looked at me who was wearing a flannel over one of my t-shirts and blue jeans. I frowned.

“How much skin are we talking about? Y/n can’t just stroll in half naked to school.” Mashiho argued, finally saying something this entire day.

Junkyu smiled which made me worry. “But she can.” Junkyu pulled out random outfits that came out of nowhere.

“Where did you get those?” I snapped.

“Jessica. She gave these to me before she went to class, telling me you were asking for some new clothes.” Junkyu wiggled his eyebrows as I blushed beet red.

I looked over to Mashiho who was staring at the pile of clothes.

“Fine. I’ll do it.”I brought the pile of clothes into the bathroom, staring at the crop top and high-waisted skirt that would barely cover my butt. I was a bit taller than Jessica, meaning it would probably skim my upper thighs.

I gulped when I slipped on the shirt first, which showed lots of my stomach and cleavage. The skirt wasn’t as short as I imagined, but if I walked too far, I might be in trouble.

“Are you done yet?! Hurry up, we don’t have all day!” Junkyu shouted.

I took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door.

The boys both stared at me in silence, wondering if I had put something on wrong.

“Bro… you’re going to steal Byounggon’s heart, he’s going to have a heart attack.” Junkyu said hugging me. I looked over to Mashiho who was watching me with a strong gaze. It was a way he had never looked at me before, which made me nervous.

“What? You think it’s too much, Mashi?” I asked, twirling for him to see. He stared at me, lowering his eyes to examine my full body. I blushed at his intense stare.

“Woah, there, that’s a lil’ much.” Junkyu said, patting Mashiho on the back. The younger boy grunted and lightly shoved the older boy away, only locking eyes with me. “Well, I gotta go right now, Yoonbin just told me that he lost his suit pants for the wedding he’s going to this weekend. Bye, have fun kids.”

Junkyu got up and left right away, leaving me alone with Mashiho.

It was awkward... and we didn’t ever get awkward.

“What? You don’t like the outfits?” I mumbled, staring down at chest that was widely shown in the shirt. Mashiho licked his lips, which sent chills down my spine.

He didn’t respond, showing he was irritated by something else. I bit my lip, thinking of what to say. “How’s it going with that girl? Anything new?”

Mashihho ran this fingers through his curly hair and shrugged. “Not really, it wasn’t really going anywhere. Turns out she only liked me for who she thought I was and not who I really am.”

I frowned and patted him on the back, trying to ignore how happy I felt at that situation.

Why do I feel happy? I should be feeling bad for him right now. You idiot, y/n.

“Aw, that’s sucks, hopefully, the next girl will see you for who you really are.”

Mashiho shrugged and looked to me with an intense stare, like he was trying to tell me something. He then stood up and paced around the room.

“Look, I’m going to be honest with you right now. This whole Byounggon thing is sort of freaking me out. He’s only starting to like you because all of these things you’re doing. This whole caked on makeup thing and flirting thing and bubbly, giggly thing and now this revealing outfit? This isn’t you, y/n.”

He wasn’t yelling yet, Mashiho didn’t yell when he was angry, but this was the most passionate I’ve seen him.

But it got me angry.

The plan has been going smoothly ‘til now. Just when Byoungon is starting to flirt with me, Mashiho backs out.

“Why are you telling me this now? It’s already too late, I’m committed. And so what? I mean, this plan is helping me get the guy since no other guys seemed to like me before this!” I yelled angrily, fiddling with the top that seemed so out of place right now.

“Bullshit, you don’t need to change yourself because of a guy, this isn’t some cheesy teen girl book where the guy starts to fall in love with your real personality, Byounggon is only falling for the girl he thinks you are! You're going get to get hurt!”

Mashiho cried out, clenching his fists to control his anger.

“So what if I get hurt? Isn’t that what happens when you’re in love? Pain? Jealousy? All those ugly emotions? I need those emotions for my story, Mashiho! I need to experience these things like a normal college student!”

His broad chest was moving up and down as he tried to pull himself together. Usually I would start to calm him down, but I had no time for it. I wanted my answers.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.” He whispered.

I plucked a stray hair off my shirt, trying to hide my tears. “Well, too late.”

Mashiho didn’t respond, leaving my dorm room, and leaving me with my distorted thoughts.

❀ ❀ ❀

4. Wear revealing clothes, show some skin sister ;) Guys are dogs, they obviously like seeing some skin, especially when a girl rarely shows it. Make him go crazy.

I felt uncomfortable in every way possible.

I’d gotten whistled at about 10 times and I’ve only been on campus for 2 hours. Disgusting.

I poked my head into my creative writing class and saw Byounggon already sitting there. I stuck my head back out and took deep breaths.

You can do this, you can do this, prove to Mashiho that you can do this.

I walked in the class, trying not to fiddle with my crop top or pull down my skirt. Byounggon glanced up at me, and then did a double take. He looked up at my face and I felt awkward as he examined the makeup Jessica put on my face.

“Woah.” Byounggon said with an unsure voice. That gave me some confidence.

“Woah what?” I teased, making my voice higher than it already was. I felt gross.

The boy raised a brow and scanned me up and down. “Woah this. New wardrobe? Did you win the lottery or something?” I chuckled and brushed my curled hair over my shoulder, hoping he could smell my perfume.

This isn’t you, y/n.

I pushed Mashiho’s voice out of my mind.

“Hah, no, I just wanted to switch it up I guess. Why? You like it?” I leaned in closer to him as he stared at me with dark eyes.

“Yeah, yeah I do.”

He was about to say something else until Irene walked in.

Damn, I really wanted to hear more compliments.

❀ ❀ ❀

After class, I stood to leave first, but Byounggon grabbed ahold of my hand. I tried not to look surprised.

“Hey, uh, my friend is hosting a party this Friday night, wanna come?” I hid my surprise with a gasp and chuckled, girly like how Junkyu told me.

“Oh sure, that’ll be so fun! Who’s hosting?”

“Kim Seunghun, his parties are always wild. It’s off campus, I’ll come pick you up at ten.” As he finished those words, he walked out of class, leaving my mind in jumbles.

I followed shortly after him, but was stopped.

I paused and saw Mashiho staring at me with sad eyes.

“Got what you wanted?” He spat. I felt my earlier happiness turn into anger at his words.

“Yes.”

“Ok, good.”

“Good.”

I walked past him, deliberately not looking back to see his expression.

❀ ❀ ❀

5. Ignore him. Let him want you. Guys like the push and the pull.

note: since you’re going to a party with him later, that’s when you get to be all over him.

It was the last day of the project.

I was wearing tight jeans and a low-cut blouse. I felt awkward as my shirt kept slipping down, but I had to power through. It was the last day of Operation: [Real]istic Fiction.

I took a seat next Byounggon, not even sparing a glance as I sat down.

Be cold, be pretty, make him want you.

I heard Junkyu’s voice echoing in my mind, egging me on.

“Hey, y/n.” I heard the boy say. It took every ounce of self-control I had to not reply with a cheery answer.

“Hi.” I responded coldly. I could tell Byoungon was confused. I guess that should be a good sign?

The boy shifted in his chair, already uncomfortable at my behavior. “Um, how’s that story going? It’s due on Monday, right?”

I thought about how to respond to his question. I simply shrugged and dragged my hair over to one side. “It’s ok.”

I hated myself right now.

I tried not to let Mashiho’s voice of doubt run through my mind.

Byounggon sighed and leaned back in his chair. I could hear him tapping his pen on the table rapidly. “Ok, you still on for tonight?”

I finally looked back at him and nodded with a light smile. “Definitely.”

He gave me a dimpled one back.

“Cool.”

❀ ❀ ❀

“What do you wear to a party?! Should I wear a dress?! Pants and a t-shirt?! WHAT?!” I screamed, looking at my bland closet.

Junkyu groaned and got up from his chair. As I got done with classes, I immediately called Junkyu to help with my fashion dilemma.

“Ugh, Mashiho is better with fashion, why didn’t you call him?” Junkyu sassed.

No, I did not tell Junkyu I was fighting with Mashiho. Was I going to tell him? Probably not.

He always took Mashiho’s side when we were arguing anyways. And he wouldn’t understand this argument.

“Because you’re my brother, anyways--”

Before I could finish, Junkyu pulled out an outfit and threw it at me. “Try this on.”

About 10 outfits later, I told Junkyu to sit down and I would do this myself.

“I told you, call Mashi, he’s better.” Junkyu whined while laying on my bed. I bit my lip and ignored him, not wanting to let down my pride and call him. Mashiho would probably just tell me to go in a t-shirt and put on a leather jacket with some skinnies or something. No matter how hot that would be, I had to dress a bit girly tonight to impress Byounggon.

Mashiho wouldn’t understand, he looks good in everything he wore.

“I’ll just wear this, and be done with this.” I grumbled, slipping on some leather type pants Jessica owned with a crop top. It was cool and funky as well as sexy.

“OOF, I should not let my baby sister walk out like that... but I’m going to... because I’m a good brother who wants her to have love.”

Junkyu pretended to wipe a tear away and pretend-sobbed on my bed, leaving me to roll my eyes at him and do my makeup. I wasn’t an expert, but I had the basics down. I decided to leave my hair straight as it fit with the outfit.

“Y/n, it’s almost ten, Byounggon is gonna be here soon~” My older brother wiggled his brows at me as I pushed him aside. “And yes, you’ll be gone when he comes.”

After I said those words, I ushered Junkyu out of the door while he protested.

“Text me when you leave, when you get to the party, when you leave the party, and when you get home! I’m still your big bro you know.” He gave me a serious stare, one he reserved to try and intimidate me. It never worked.

I sighed and patted him on the back. “Ok, ok, just go, he’ll be here any minute now.” I said nervously. My palms were sweaty and I applied extra perfume to make sure I wouldn’t smell bad.

Just as Junkyu left, I heard a knock on my door. I shot out of my seat and gave myself a glance over before I opened the door.

Byounggon was standing there, looking spiffy in a tight, black, long-sleeve and black skinnies, but adorned with a couple necklaces and rings.

He gave me a quick smile when he saw me.

“Hey, you look good.” He said immediately. I blushed and tried my best to act girly.

“Thanks, you’re not too bad yourself.” I teased while stepping out of the door.

We walked downstairs together and that’s when I realized:

I had never gone to a party before.

❀ ❀ ❀

The party was rowdier than I expected.

I had always listened to music about parties and having fun, but it was nowhere as crazy as I imagined. The loud music was attacking my senses and the weed and alcohol upset my stomach. I tried not to make a face when Byounggon looked over at me.

“You good?” I nodded vigorously, trying not to let my disgust and anxiety show. I took tiny steps with him as we made our way through the huge crowd of people. There was strobe lights everywhere and alcohol on the floor.

It was a mess.

I felt my heart beat pick up as I felt myself being shoved through the crowd. I wasn’t used to being around so many people and now that I was experiencing it, I just wanted to be alone.

Soon, we got out of the big crowd and to the makeshift bar area, aka, Seunghun’s kitchen.

“Hey, Seunghun!” Byounggon yelled over to the tall brunette who was taking a body shot off a girl. Disgusting.

Seunghun popped his head up and immediately did that bro shake with Byounggon. “Hey, dude! Didn’t know you were bringing a date!” Seunghun turned his attention over to me and pulled me in for a hug. I felt uncomfortable with the smell of alcohol on his breath.

“Yah, it was sorta last minute.” Seunghun wiggled his eyebrows and pointed over to the alcohol.

“Cool, well she’s hot so it’s all good. A little nerdy but that’s your type right?” I felt my cheeks burn at his words. I had been trying to shed the image of my nerdy self this whole week and yet it still was like I had “bookworm” tattooed across my forehead.

Byounggon wrapped an arm around me. “Hey, dude, don’t be an ass.” He lightly reprimanded. I tried not to let Seunghun’s words affect me, I mean he was super drunk.

Seunghun’s eyes widened. “Oh no no, that wasn’t an insult. It’s a compliment, refreshing I would say. Like a refreshment LOL.” I tried not to cringe as he said the acronym out loud. Then, he tilted his head, “It’s just weird that you brought a date though. I thought you had a thing with-”

Byounggon’s body stiffened but I didn’t get to hear the rest of the statement when Seunghun was dragged away by someone else, probably going to take another body shot.

“Sorry about that, Seunghun is an absolute dumbass when he’s drunk. He’s only a little bit of a dumbass when he’s sober.” I let out soft laughter, but I could barely hear Byounggon over the loud music and intense yelling. I hated every second I was here.

My tenseness didn’t go unnoticed by Byounggon. “Hey, are you sure you’re ok?” He asked, concern laced in his voice.

I nodded rushedly, before I could lose my confidence. “I’m fine!” I replied lamely. I couldn’t flirt with him, I couldn’t do anything with this obnoxious atmosphere.

Byounggon gave me a tight smile and held out his hand. “Let’s dance!”

❀ ❀ ❀

I hated dancing. And being on the dancefloor. And feeling other people’s bodies on mine.

It was awful. I felt so cramped and I couldn’t even relax to have a good time.

Byounggon on the other hand was an amazing dancer, I couldn’t even compare to him. The only time I liked dancing was when I was having impromptu dance parties with Mashiho. Mashiho was the only person besides my brother that I could let down my guard with.

Byounggon grabbed my hands, trying to get me to dance and to have fun. But I couldn’t focus on anything besides the people around me and how cramped and dirty I felt.

I could see Byounggon stop losing interest in me.

“He’s only starting to like you because all of these things you’re doing. This whole caked on makeup thing and flirting thing and bubbly, giggly thing and now this revealing outfit? This isn’t you, y/n”

I was wrong. Mashiho was right.

I can’t do this, this isn’t me.

I looked up from the dancefloor and saw something I never wanted to see. Mashiho was there, dancing with another girl, totally into her. His eyes were bright and happy, I knew he was having a good time. I could always tell what his emotions were. He spun the girl around as she laughed, her skirt twirling in the sea of people.

I was jealous.

Really jealous.

Jealous of the time they were having.

Jealous I couldn’t be as carefree as that girl.

Jealous that I wasn’t that girl.

“Y/n, y/n?” Byounggon’s shout snapped me out of a trance. I looked up at him with blurry eyes. “Are you ok?”

I stood still for a moment, confusing those around me.

I took one more glance at Mashiho who was still dancing with that girl and as he leaned in closer to her, I looked away.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.”

Then, I ran.

I ran out of the house as soon as possible, running at a pace I didn’t know I was capable of. I ignored Byounggon’s shout for me to stay, but I had to leave--I had to get out of there.

Only barfers were outside as I dashed past them, careful not to step on anything gross. I made my way down the block and crouched down, feeling the worst I’ve ever felt in my life.

This was the pain everyone talked about.

The pain you get when you try so hard to fit in and you just don’t. The pain you get when you’re not somebody you want to be.

The pain you get when you love someone so much and they don’t love you back.

And that pain wasn’t from Byounggon, but from someone I didn’t know I’ve loved for most of my life.

I picked up my phone and dialed a number.

“Jessica? I need a ride.”

❀ ❀ ❀

I knew Jessica wouldn’t ask questions. If another girl calls you to run away from her date, there’s only bad news involved.

Seunghun’s house wasn’t that far from campus, so we got home pretty quickly.

“I brought home fried chicken, I know that’s your favorite.” Jessica noted in a high voice, her tone more delicate than usual. I shook my head. “No, I’m fine. I just need sleep.”

I looked at my phone once and saw floods of messages. Mostly from Byounggon, asking where I went and that he was sorry.

And then five from Junkyu, messaging me about how bored he was.

None from Mashiho.

I laid in my bed, looking at the time. It was only 11:10. I hadn’t even been in that place for an hour.

“Are you going to sleep?” Jessica asked, about to turn off the lights.

I looked up at my ceiling.

Then, I said the most y/n sentence I’ve said this week.

“No... I’m going to write.”

❀ ❀ ❀

“Here, I finished over the weekend.”

I handed the paper to Professor Bae, all 20 pages of my short story. She raised a brow and skimmed through it.

“Good, all normal names. Now, run along, class starts in 10 minutes.”

I nodded and turned to walk out the door before I turned back around. The professor caught my eye and gave me a tight smile.

“Why did you become a creative writing teacher? Not a research paper teacher or a lit teacher or something, why creative writing?” I asked abruptly. I don’t know why I asked the question, but I anticipated her answer.

Irene set down a pen and gave me a soft smile, contrary to her intense ones.

“Y/n, I think we’re more alike than you think.” She started. “I love to write-not just like-but I love it. I love losing myself in a story, I love the reading my stories when they’re done and imaging me as the main character.”

I nodded, knowing how she felt.

“I write because I feel alive when I write, I feel happy.” She said, pointing to her heart. “It comes naturally to me, like breathing or walking; it’s a part of me.”

“How do you write about things you’ve never experienced before? Like if I’ve never broken an arm, but wanted to write about a broken arm, how would I write about that?”

Irene gave me a sad smile and took one step closer to me. She patted my head gently and spoke to me with soft eyes.

“Imagination my friend. Imagination and reality are vital to any writer; only the best ones can combine both.”

She then picked up a stack of papers and started to head down the hall.

“Take a day off, y/n, you need one.”

❀ ❀ ❀

I sat in the courtyard, reading a book as I munched on pretzels.

Yes, I had been avoiding Byounggon, Junkyu, and especially Mashiho the entire weekend. I texted Byounggon, telling him I was alright and got home safely and that I was sorry, he responded that he was glad and that I didn’t have to explain if I didn’t want to.

He was so easy to fall for.

Why couldn’t I have fallen for him?

“Hey.”

I looked up from my book and saw the familiar face.

“Hi.” I said awkwardly, setting down my book.

Byounggon sat next to me, looking at me like he wanted to say something.

“What?” I barked harshly.

I thought he was going to be seriously offended, but he simply just started to laugh. “Damn, I missed the old you. I’m glad she’s back.”

I scoffed and took a harsh bite of my pretzel.

“Yeah, yeah, everyone else did too.” I mumbled.

“Look, I just wanted to come and apologize about Friday night, I didn’t know it would overwhelm you so bad and you were obviously uncomfortable. I should have brought you home.” The boy then took a deep breath like he was hiding something.

I was annoyed by that. “Well, just spit it out.” I spat.

The boy held in his laughter and leaned back to let the sun shine on his face. “Um well, I was sorta, I mean I didn’t realize it, but I was sorta using you to get over this other girl. Um, it’s complicated and I don’t really know my true feelings for her yet, but yeah I’m sorry, that was mean of me to do.”

I paused, soaking in his words.

Then I laughed.

“Oh gosh, that’s so funny.” Byounggon proceeded to look at me like I was crazy.

I shook my head and held my hands up, “Oh not that part, I mean that I was sorta using you too. To deflect my feelings for this other guy that I thought I had lost feelings for, but in reality, it was just hiding all this time. Or more of I was burying them.”

Byounggon smiled and took a pretzel from me.

“Well, maybe you should go talk to this guy. And I’ll talk to that girl. Sound cool?”

I nodded, shaking on it.

“The coolest.”

“Also, welcome back to being a nerd, I knew you would come through with that paper.”

I slapped him on the shoulder, but I couldn’t help but be proud of my title.

❀ ❀ ❀

“Well, maybe you should go talk to this guy. And I’ll talk to that girl. Sound cool?” I read aloud.

The lamp was shining bright on my face as Mashiho laid on my lap. His big eyes were closed as I held the stapled pieces of paper over him.

I sighed, slapping him with the pages. He gasped and cringed, but made no movement to sit up.

“Ouch! What was that for?!” The boy rubbed his nose in furious motions as I rolled my eyes.

“I’m tired, let me go to bed! It’s already 3am you meanie.” I pouted while taking a sip of water. At least it was a Friday night, I did not want to attend my 9:30 class with raccoon eyes.

Mashiho pouted, huffing like the baby he is.

“You have to finish it! Does y/n get with the boy? Does Byounggon talk to that girl he was interested in? Tell me!!”

I flicked the boy on the neck as he flinched in pain.

“You imbecile, this story is about us! You know how it ends!” I poked him on the neck as he giggled like a kid.

“I know, I know! I just like to hear listen to it again. It is nice reflecting on all our actions and you make our story feel so... dramatic.”

“It was dramatic.”

“Yeah but you make it dramatic dramatic.” He countered.

I held in my groan as I stared down at the paper that was already blurring together.

“Ok, fine, I’ll continue.”

That seemed to please him as he relaxed his body once more.

“Blah blah, blah blah, kiss, blah, mashiho and y/n, blah, junkyu-”

At my incoherent rambling, Mashiho shot up from my lap and pulled me down to lay next to him.

“Mashi! Oh my god, let go of me!” I whisper-shouted as it was too late for this. I dropped the paper on the ground as he held down my hands.

“I was joking.” He said abruptly. I leaned back so I could examine his face, which was drooping and sad.

“Joking about what?”

“I don’t like listening to your story just because it’s amazingly written and dramatic, I like listening to it reminds me of how bad I hurt you and reminds me of how I should treat you from here on,” he said confidently. I noticed how his face pinched together in pain and regret and instinctively, I reached out my hand to soften his face.

“I like reading this story because it reminds me of how powerful I can become and it’s sort of fun being the heroine for once.” I admit with a smile.

The boy looked at me with a tilted head. “Y/n, this is your life, you’re always the the main character of your life.”

I sighed and softly kissed him on the lips.

“You’re right, Mashi. And you’re my hunky male lead.”

#yg treasure box #ygtblbr #ygtb #yg treasure box scenarios #yg treasure box imagines #ygtb scenarios #ygtb imagines #mashiho #treasure j #treasure j scenarios

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golden-van-fleet · 5 years

Text

Your Song

Summary: Gwilym has loved you for a long time and will continue to.

Word Count: ~2.2k

A/N: Hi! I needed to write about Gwilym. I’m not sure about the format? Also on mobile for this one. Enjoy!

It’s a little bit funny, this feeling inside

I’m not one of those who can easily hide

Despite Gwilym being an actor, his fatal flaw was his inability to hide what was on his mind. The entire world knew how he felt about you, except for, well, you. It made his stomach turn, to see you with a man that wasn’t him, holding his hand, kissing his cheek, calling him “babe”. He hoped, wished, and prayed desperately to be that man.

I don’t have much money, but boy if I did

I’d buy a big house where we both could live

He knew you wanted a big house in the countryside. It’d been your dream for as long as either of you could remember. In fact, it was the first thing he bought with his paycheck from Bohemian Rhapsody. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t dream of the two of you living there like Allie and Noah in The Notebook. He didn’t want to buy your love, per se, but if he could afford what you wanted, he wanted to be able to spoil you. For only being your best friend, he treated you a hell of a lot better than that boyfriend of yours ever could. Any of them, really.

And it wasn’t lost on you. You’d lost a couple boyfriends because they felt they couldn’t compete with Gwilym, and they couldn’t. Gwilym was over the top for you and only for you. When he bought the house, you were stunned. He constantly had you over, one of the guest rooms unofficially becoming your room. You’d been by his side before the fame and the fortune, it was only fair in his eyes that you were still there after it.

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no

Or a man who makes potions in a traveling show

I know it’s not much but it’s the best I can do

My gift is my song and this one’s for you

Every performance he did as Brian May was with you in mind. Gwilym was willing to go to the ends of the earth to prove that he was worthy of your love, to prove to you that he was the one you needed. He knew, rationally, you never needed a man to be happy or to succeed. He also knew, selfishly, that he was the one for you. This was a man willing to bend over backwards for you at any given moment, knowing you would do the same.

And you can tell everybody that this is your song

It may be quite simple but now that it’s done

I hope you don’t mind,

I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words

How wonderful life is, now you’re in the world

The day you met was a day he’d never forget. Your eyes piercing back into his own, a stare that sent a delicious shiver down his spine. It wasn’t a malicious stare, it was one of amusement. You were working at a local coffee shop while finishing your bachelor’s degree around the same time Gwilym began filming one of many up and coming projects. He’d come in with an agenda, a man on a mission, but when his eyes met yours, he babbled like an infant. You were so kind, you didn’t make fun of him, you smiled a little and let him compose himself.

Ever since that day, he made a point to visit you at work, seated at one of the tables in the corner as long as he could be without disturbing you, your coworkers, or the other patrons. You found it sweet, and your heart ached to get to know him.

So you did. He’d been to your apartment more times than the members of your family had over the course of the next year. It was around that year mark Gwilym realized he couldn’t live without you. It was also around the time you’d started your string of terrible boyfriends.

Gwilym couldn’t thank you enough for changing his quality of life. You breathed a life into everything that he’d never been able to find. Life by your side was beautiful. You never let him dwell on the bad, and as hard as it could be to find the good sometimes, he always tried. If not for his sake, then for yours.

I sat on the roof, and kicked off the moss

Well, a few of the verses, well they’ve got me quite cross

He had to tell you. He couldn’t say it to your face, but he couldn’t not say it to your face. He wrote letter after letter, page after page, hoping that something, anything would encapsulate his feelings about you. Late night after late night, he failed to document exactly what he wanted to say. He didn’t want to plan out what he wanted to say, but he needed it to be everything he’d had on his mind for years.

When you showed up at his door during one of those late nights, he told himself as soon as he opened the door he’d tell you. What he didn’t expect was to see you sobbing, throwing yourself at him. He caught you before you could hit the floor, catching a glimpse of you before you buried your face into his shoulder. Your eyes were puffy and swollen with tears, your face red and stained with tear tracks. It absolutely broke his heart.

“He broke up with me,” you whimpered. “Almost two years, I thought I was going to marry this man, and then suddenly I’m not good enough?”

But if only you knew how good enough you were. Gwilym saw the sun rise and set within you. You were the very center of his universe. He couldn’t tell you now, you’d just had your heart broken. He could try, in vain, to tell you how wonderful he found you and about the total joy you brought to his life, but his dark secret would have to wait a little longer.

You climbed out onto the roof outside the guest room window, the full moon hanging bright above your head. There was a gentle, almost imperceptible breeze floating through the summer night. This was your favorite part of the house. It was your hideaway, wrapped around the back of the house with a full view of the river in the background. It felt as though time stood still when you were there. You found yourself lost in the peacefulness of it all until Gwilym squeezed himself through the window frame to sit with you.

“He thought you and I had something going on on the side. I told him that you were my best friend, that you always would be, that without you there is no me. And he was jealous.” You sniffled, the tears of sadness now transformed to tears of resentment. “But maybe he had a reason to be jealous. You’re all I need in my life.”

Gwilym was nothing short of stunned. That was the first time in his life that he was utterly lost for words.

“I- I can’t be your rebound, Y/N. I’ve loved you for far too long to let myself be who builds you up for someone else to tear back down. You mean too much to me for that.” He felt a tear slip down his cheek. His heart was on the line. As much as he wanted to be with you immediately, to hold you in his arms and never let go, he couldn’t. Not right now.

“I’m not saying I want to jump from him to you. But I did a lot of thinking on the drive over here. You’ve always been there for me. You’ve been this support, this rock, and I can’t help but feel I’ve taken it for granted. And for that, I’m so sorry. I know the way you look at me when I’m not looking because I look at you the same way. I always have. And maybe I was too afraid of ruining what we had built up so beautifully. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but they were laying bricks every hour, and that’s what we did. We’re still doing it. So if you’ll let me, I’d like to keep building it, I want to know that it’s not going to go away after tonight.”

He forced himself to look at you, your eyes burning with unshed tears. It would never go away. It couldn’t.

But the sun’s been quite kind while I wrote this song

It’s for people like you that keep it turned on

Over the course of the following months, your relationship bloomed into the blossom it was destined to be. The dark cloud that hung over Gwilym’s head had finally given way to the warm rays of the sun, and he embraced them fully. Loving you was diving head first into a pool that had no bottom. There was always a new depth to be reached, and when he thought he’d reached his capacity, there was always more.

You noticed the change, welcomed it, and encouraged it. Gwilym was finally back to the man he was when you first met. The man that you thought you were going to fall in love with. However, you’d hung that up when he brought over one of his girlfriends, unannounced, to your flat the night you were going to tell him how you felt. It crushed you, but you couldn’t tell him that. To know that now, it wouldn’t happen again, he was yours? It was heaven in and of itself.

So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do

You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue

Anyway the thing is what I really mean

Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

He had to ask you to marry him. He made up his mind before the two of you had even been together six months. It took half a lifetime, or so he thought, to get with you in the first place. Hell, you’d moved in together after two months together, what difference would it make?

He found himself in the same position he was years and years prior, back in that tiny coffee shop. Your eyes were focused intently on his, your smile kind and your hand relaxed in his. Gwilym was in his element, at home, alone, with you. And there, in the comfort of your shared bed, he was going to ask you to be his wife, and he couldn’t choke the words out. All he could do was present you with the ring first.

“Marry me. Please,” he added, softening what sounded like a demand.

“Easily,” you smiled, pulling his face towards yours and locking your lips into a breathless kiss. “I would marry you a million times over.”

He found himself in the same predicament when it came to your vows.

“I’m not usually one to forget what I’m saying before I say it, but you look so beautiful I can’t help myself,” he began, chuckling as he bashfully wiped away a tear. “I had this whole thing planned about how you were the one for me and I knew from the moment I met you, but even to this day you render me speechless. So forgive me if I cut this a bit short, but I’d really love to call you my wife sooner rather than later.”

And you can tell everybody this is your song

It may be quite simple, but now that it's done

I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind that I put down in words

How wonderful life is while you're in the world

When your daughter was born with your bright, beautiful eyes, Gwilym cried more than he ever thought he would. He was so gentle with her, so gentle with you… You couldn’t love him more if you tried.

Despite having your eyes, your daughter was Gwilym’s clone. She had her father wrapped around her tiny little finger from the first cry she let out the day she was born. Gwilym immediately switched into protective dad mode, refusing to let her go without a fight. Unless she was going to you, of course. But even that took a little convincing.

One night, about three weeks after she was born, Gwilym got up in the middle of the night to tend to her. He took the wailing newborn out of her bassinet in your bedroom to the rocking chair in what would be her nursery.

“Alright, love, it’s okay.” He’d done everything he could think of to soothe her and nothing was working, and the last thing he wanted to do was wake you. He unbuttoned the front of her onesie, placing the newborn over his heart. He’d been told to try skin to skin bonding whenever he could, and by some miracle, it calmed her down.

Gwilym didn’t realize he was humming until he started to sing lyrics to a song he didn’t realize he knew.

I hope you don't mind,

I hope you don't mind that I put down in words

How wonderful life is while you're in the world

Your song had had its share of wrong notes and tweaked lyrics. It conveyed a full spectrum of emotions, highlighting the ups and the downs that came with life and love. Your song was unique, and Gwilym was blessed to share it with you.

#gwilym lee #gwilym lee imagine #gwil #gwilym lee fanfiction #gwilym lee fluff #dad!gwilym

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yourescapetofiction · 5 years

Text

The Tides Have Turned-Part 19

A/N: This is my old work, The Tides Have Turned. It is a complete story that I am reposting on this blog so the work isn’t lost and can be found for those interested :)

Nineteen

City lights flashed past the car windows as Sam sped through the quiet Hampton’s town. We all sat awaiting the arrival to the destination the mysterious stranger gave us. After about another twenty minutes, Sam slowed as we saw a large neon sign designating the bar was just up the road. Sure enough the fluorescent sign shone in a bright green light as Sam pulled into the first parking spot he saw.

“Come on! He’s gotta be around here somewhere!” I shout exiting the car. I scrambled around the dark parking lot, the sounds of a packed bar muffled in the night air. I walked past rows and rows of cars scouring every small crevice that Nate could be hiding in. Still nothing.

“Do you see anything G?” I yell to where Gilinsky was walking around bushes.

“Not yet!” he shouted back.

“Guys over here! The pavement backs into an alley!” Johnson said waving at us manically.

Sam and I broke into a full on sprint to the direction where Johnson was heading. I saw two shadowy figures in the distance, and to my relief made out the familiar dark curly hair. I stepped in front of Sam to get a better look at the two men, and I could hear the blood rushing in my ears as I finally came face to face with the boy I desperately searched for.

Nate looked terrible, beyond terrible actually. He was lying in the alleyway, his clothes tattered and worn. His dark hair was wild, and he had large bags under his eyes. He was barely conscious, and wasn’t responsive when Johnson kneeled to his level trying to speak to him. His belongings surrounded him on the pavement, his wallet and keys scattered everywhere. I bent down and cupped his face in my hands.

“Nate, baby, open your eyes. Look at me please” I plead. His head just rolled between my touch, his eyes glued shut.

“Holy shit, how far gone is he?” G asked worriedly, crouching down beside me.

“I don’t know man, I came out of the bar twenty minutes ago and found him being robbed” the older man said standing there uncomfortable. “Dude was so out of it, they took him for all he had, starting to lay a beatin’ on him before I came and threatened them with the cops” he said again, sorrow on his face.

The more I examined Nate’s face the more I could see bruising begin to form. He really looked like he had the shit kicked out of him. My stomach twisted at the thought of a helpless Nate.

“Man, we owe you big time for this” Johnson said in awe of the sheer luck we had.

“Hey man it’s nothing, I couldn’t leave him to be killed like that” the guy shook his head.

“How did you know to get in contact with us?” I ask looking up at him.

“Well I bent down to try and get him to talk to me. His name, anything. He is so out of it, but he kept mumbling the name y/n over and over again. I figured that was someone important to him, so I went through his phone and found a contact by the same name” he elaborated.

“We better get him to a hospital” G said swinging Nate’s lifeless arms around his shoulders. Sammy quickly scrambled to get Nate’s other side and they dragged his limp body to the car. I gathered the few things he had left from the concrete, and tucked them safely in my purse. I could see drug paraphernalia scattered on the dirty ground.

“Sir, I cannot thank you enough” I said pleading with the guy. He held up his hands as if to say no apology necessary. I ran and gave him a tight hug, a small show of gratitude before I ran back to the car. Sam resumed his spot in the driver’s seat and sped off to the hospital. I stared at Nate’s gaunt face as the street lights washed over him every few seconds.

I stroked his skin, which used to be soft, feeling stubble and grime. His arms were bruised, and his clothes smelled of smoke. Seeing Nate in this state damn near broke me in two. Sam got us to the hospital within ten minutes, record speed.

We rushed in through the emergency room and were swiftly greeted by a team of nurses and medics. They whisked Nate off on a stretcher to a wing of the hospital that was shut off to us.

“The waiting room is down the hall, we’ll find you when we have any information” a nurse said. We just nodded and padded down the hallway.

I sat in the uncomfortable plastic chairs, 3/5 of the squad surrounding me. The boys looked exhausted, like they hadn’t slept in days. It was startling how stress can do that to a person. Sammy couldn’t really sit still for long, he would get up and pace every few minutes, running his hands through his hair. It was a nervous habit he had.

Sam came and sat next to me, wrapping his arm around me and extending his hand to rest on Johnson’s back. J grabbed my hand, and G grabbed the other. We bowed our heads and sat in a semi-comfortable silence. No words were spoken. We just held each other and waited.

3 hours later…

We sat slumped in the chairs, trying desperately to stay awake. It was around 2 in the morning by now, but everybody refused to leave.

“Is there a family for a Nate Maloley?” a doctor with a clipboard asked openly to the room. We immediately scrambled to our feet and rushed over.

“Yes, yes. That’s us” I say. The doctor furrowed his brows slightly at the fact that a group of young people were waiting for Nate and not his parents. Our eyes pleaded with him to tell us the story.

“Well, your friend is stable” he said. I let out an audible sigh, while Sam rubbed his face in relief.

“He’s lucky he got here when he did. Another twenty minutes and he would have been dead from a drug overdose” he said solemnly. My heart stopped at his words. A drug overdose? My sweet Nate dead from a drug overdose? How could this ever happen.

“He’s resting right now, but will be discharged in the morning. I advise that you keep a close eye on him so he doesn’t relapse” the doctor said before walking off.

We pulled each other in for individual and group hugs. We did it. We saved his life.

“Listen, you guys can go get some rest. I’ll stay with him,” I say wiping a tear from my eyes.

“No way. The squad has to stick together, we’re family” G said shaking his head with determination. With that, we proceeded to Nate’s room. He laid there asleep, multiple IV’s in his arms. His chest was rising and falling ever so slightly.

Gilinsky and I shared the giant armchair that was right next to his bed, while Sammy and Johnson sat on the floor and in the other chair. I grabbed Nate’s hand and just held it in mine tightly, hoping some of my body heat would somehow transfer to his cold body.

The next morning…

Nate’s POV

I opened my eyes to an unfamiliar room. I had no idea where I was, but I felt like I had been hit by a train. My entire body ached, this was worse than any hangover I have ever experienced. I blinked multiple times trying to focus on my surroundings, and to figure out what happened. I felt a twitch on my right hand and averted my attention to the feeling. The first feeling I’ve had in days.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw the familiar head of hair that I adored more than anything. She was grabbing my hand and had her head resting on top of it, asleep. I continued to look around, noticing a sleeping Gilinsky resting on the back of the same armchair she preoccupied. Sam and Johnson were here too, knocked out against the back wall.

“Hey,” I said in a soft tone, but loud enough to stir them awake. She lifted her head in a daze, before her eyes flew open at the sight of me awake.

“Nate! You’re awake!” she said before smoothing her hair.

“Where am I?” I asked, still fuzzy on the details.

“The hospital man. You were in pretty bad shape” Johnson said coming over to my bedside.

“How?” I ask again, still confused.

“Drugs man. You overdosed,” Sam said with extreme regret. I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t remember the events of the last few days so well, I remember drowning myself in alcohol and smoking a few things more than I normally would.

“Mr. Maloley?” a nurse knocked at the door, and we turned to face her.

“Yes” I say, removing my hand from y/n’s grip.

“How are you feeling today?” she asked coming to check my IV’s.

“Extremely hungover” I answer, rubbing my eyes. She chuckled at my response.

“Yes, well, your doctor has cleared you to go home” she said before issuing me my discharge paperwork.

The squad surrounded me as we made our way to the car. They walked around me so cautiously like I was a child taking his first steps.

“I can do this you know” I say.

“Yeah, we know man” J answered, yet still remained tentative around me.

We piled into the car and rode in silence back to the house. Was I grateful to them for saving my life? Of course I was, I’ve never had anybody do anything of this magnitude for me. No matter what happens in this life, my love for these four people will never falter. Regardless, I still had some shit to work through.

We arrived back at the house and I walked slowly through the front door, where I was greeted by Swazz and the others. They looked like they hadn’t slept either.

“Nate, shit man there you are” Swazz said pulling me in for a hug. I gave him a quick pat on the back to let him know I’m okay before I sat on the couch.

“Here man, drink some water” Cam said handing me a bottle.

“Thanks Cam” I say before unscrewing the lid and taking a large gulp.

It was a beautiful day outside, the sun shining and the waters blue. It was like the events of the past 24 hours hadn’t happened. Life moves on, regardless of if you’re ready for it or not.

The squad surrounded me on the couch, y/n sitting on the ottoman directly across from me. She rested her forearms on her knees as she watched me intently.

“What now?” Sam asked, nervous and without direction.

“I think we have a talk” y/n said to me. I nodded my head before looking down at my lap.

This is it. It is time to finally come clean.

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thefandomwriter · 6 years

Text

Izuku Midoriya X Loner! Reader

Regular P.O.V

You sighed heavily, forcing yourself to walk into the halls of U.A. You really didn't want to be there, but the nerves you got when you skipped class or weren't at school were unbearable so you made yourself go. You had been placed in class 1-A, having a quirk that could manipulate crystals, being able to shoot them up from the ground. You didn't think it was very flashy, it was basically nothing compared to Bakugo's and Todoroki's quirks.

Finally arriving at the class -40 minutes early, might I add-, you took a deep sigh before opening the door and walking in, unsurprisingly you being the only one there. 'Another day to go unnoticed..I guess.' Now, it wasn't like you didn't have friends, it was just that-everybody in the class had their main set of friends. You were the only one who didn't have a specific group, you were just kinda...there.

Sometimes, you'd just be all by yourself listening to music, while others you'd be chatting quietly with some of your friends, though you mumbled a lot so they hardly ever heard what you said. They'd also seem upset if you were listening to music while they were with you. There was at one point yesterday during a work period, you were sitting beside Uraraka, and you had plugged in your earphones. She then, tapped your shoulder and asked you to take them out, so you complied thinking she needed to ask you something but all she did was keep quiet. You took this as a sign to put them back in again, and once again, she tapped you on the shoulder to take them out. Uraraka then had said she was a little upset you kept putting them back in instead of talking, which annoyed you a little. There wasn't even a conversation going, and after a third time of you doing, waiting a few minutes for her to start talking, when of course she didn't, she said she was just gonna go work with Iida and Deku.

You felt like you had pissed her off, and could already feel the guilt rising on your shoulders from remembering the conversation. Sitting down at your desk, you put your earbuds in and started drawing-a common thing you did, and was good at- maybe you were supposed to be a loner, or maybe you just weren't designed to have a specific group of friends.

As the class filled with more and more students, and there was about 2 minutes left before school started, you looked down at the sketch you had made. It was a bunch of butterflies, all bunched together in a crowd, many of different colors, while there was one butterfly near the end of the page, no color at all, just a pale grey. 'I'm being selfish....They can hang out with whomever they want,' You mentally scolded yourself, took your earbuds out and as the bell for class rang, you mentally prepared yourself for a long day.

"Okay, class. Today you're going to be given an assignment to present to the class later next week. It'll be on quirk manifestation, and the history of how quirks came to be." Aizawa spoke, the usual bored look on his face. Groans and complaints can be heard from the other students, but all you did was stay quiet, not wanting to make it harder for the tired teacher. "You could work in pairs, groups, or by yourself, just as long as you get the work done. You have the rest of this class to start it." After Aizawa had finished, almost immediately people started getting into pairs and groups. It was only a matter of minutes before everyone had found who they were working with, and you were once again, left to your own devices.

You looked around the room, everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, all but you. You sighed, and put your earbuds back in and started working on the assignment. Unknown to you, the class had gone silent due to hearing the loud music playing from your earbuds. They were all staring at you as you wrote the third paragraph of the assignment, still not noticing the attention. It was only a matter of time before Bakugo shouted at you, which you barely heard, as you took out your earbuds to find everyone look at you. "Um, can I help you?" You asked quietly, looking around the room. "Your music was playing really loud, you should be careful with how loud it is, it could damage your hearing." Midoriya spoke, smiling a little. "Oh, uh, sorry, ya I'll be careful.." You looked towards the ground as you once again plugged your earphones back in and started writing. You had it so the music was loud enough to block out toher noises, but not so the others could hear.

"She really is a loner, huh?" Denki said, looking over at you. "Who gives a fuck? Not like she tries to actually fucking talk anyways." Bakugo grumbled, also turning his attention back to his project. "She just likes to keep to herself I guess," Uraraka added in, smiling. "Maybe we could do something to help her warm up to us, y'know? Like a small get together? We could all throw a small party in the dorms to see if that'll help." Momo suggested, joining in the small conversation. "I say we go for it!" Kirishima shouted, nodding in agreement. Soon, everyone had agreed to host a small party on Friday to help you warm up to them, and it wasn't long after that, that the bell rang for lunch.

You had decided to eat outside, not wanting to be stuck in the stuffy cafeteria. You were sitting outside under a tree, scrolling through some old photos of you and your classmates from another school. You had been the only one from your elementary school to go to U.A. This year, and you had left a lot of really close friends behind, some of which who you've known for years. They said they'd keep in touch with you, but they never tried. You'd always try to make plans with them, but they were always seemingly busy, so eventually, you stopped trying. It was really hard for you as the graduation trip had been the best part of your life with them, and the class had grown so much closer, it hurt you so much to lose that. You'd always get a big feeling of loneliness when you saw videos of them all together, without you. It hurt you so, so much. They were your second family, you had never grown close to such a large amount of people as you did with that class. You lifted your hands to your face, and felt tears trickling down your face. It was as if they'd forgotten you, as if you were never there, as if you didn't matter. And maybe you didn't matter. Maybe it was all in your head that you were good friends with the class, maybe it was all just an illusion to keep you happy when in reality they didn't like you. 'No..They'd never do that to me.' You thought, pushing negative thoughts to the back of your mind. You pulled your knees up to your chest and started quietly sobbing, feeling a great sense of loneliness. You wiped at your tears with your sleeves, mumbling to yourself.

"Why're you crying? Heroes don't cry! They're strong! They don't let petty emotions get to them!" You shouted at no one. No matter what, all the pent up emotions from weeks and weeks had finally decided to come out, and you couldn't stop it. As you were about to get up from leaving to just to rest in your dorm for the rest of the day, you felt a pair of arms wrap around you. "Y'know heroes need to cry too, right?" A soft voice asked, you turned around and saw Midoriya smiling at you. "They don't cry because they're weak..They cry because they've been strong for too long." It was then that you broke down again, and locked the boy in a hug, you dropped your phone and started crying into his chest. "I-I'm sorry Iv-Iv-e be-en so str-esse-d lately and I-I Do-n't know wh-at c-came ov-er m-e-e," You hiccuped, hugging the boy tighter. He started rubbing circles in your back, calming you down effectively. "You don't have anything to be sorry for, crying is normal, and a nice way to get rid of pent up emotions." You guys stayed like that for a few minutes, you sobbing and him calmly rubbing circles on your back.

As you hugged Midoriya, he caught a glance of the picture on your phone, which was a picture of your whole class at camp, including you around a bond fire, all smiling and roasting marshmallows, the last trip you all had together before graduation. Midoriya soon pulled away, hearing your hiccups and sobbing die down. "Are you feeling better?" He asked, giving you a kind smile. You smiled, and wiped your face one more time before giggling weakly. "Ya, I do, I'm sorry, that must've been so awkward for you," You chuckled, nervously rubbing the back of your neck. Midoriya shook his head, "no no, it was perfectly fine! I tend to cry a lot too, so I mean-well-I-" he started rambling again. "It's alright, I get it," You yawned, and grabbed your phone. "I'm going to rest at the dorms, okay? Crying takes a lot out of me since I don't really do it often.." You trailed off, and a light blush coated your cheeks. "thanks for cheering me up, Midoriya," and with that, you kissed him on his cheek and went on your way towards the dorms to catch some much needed sleep, leaving a blushing and mumbling Midoriya in your wake.

---Time Skip to when Lunch is over---

Everyone had gathered back in the classroom, and some immediately noticed your absence from the room. "Does anyone know where L/n Went?!" Iida yelled, standing at the front of the class. Midoriya nodded and replied, "She wasn't feeling well at lunch-she's sleeping in the dorms right now." "She is?" Uraraka questioned, Midoriya nodding "I hope she's feeling well." "Tch I'm sure she's fine. " Bakugo rolled his eyes and went back to sitting quietly. A few more minutes passed of the students conversing, and the bell to signal class officially started had rang, and everyone turned their attention to the board.

(Well, this is part 1! Sorry if it was a bit confusing, I was venting while writing this. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy! And stay tuned for part 2!~)

#bnha #bnha fanfiction #fanfic #anime #manga #reader insert #mha #midoriya izuku #bnha deku

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vanityrise · 6 years

Text

Family matters.

Chapter 1:

Over at Home farm, there was a quiet knock at the door, Graham opens the door to see Noah standing there. “Noah i thought your mother didn’t want you coming up here?”

A voice from the kitchen interrupted, “Oh never mind that Graham, he’s here now and ready for me to teach him to play poker”.

“I don’t think this is a good idea”, Graham murmured from across the room. “Charity made it very clear she didn’t want you seeing him”.

“I’m not here to play, i want you to tell me about my father”, a tentative noah said.

“Here’s the thing little brother, I don’t really remember that much about him. I know that he was a good man who loved to make money and live the good life”.

“Mum said he sent you away to boarding school so you weren’t in the way? Is that true?” Noah asked.

Joe’s expression changes, a slight look of anger mixed with sadness covered his face. “It wasn’t to get me out the way, when dad had his accident life became more difficult for him, me being here all the time didn’t help.”

“So it wasn’t my mums fault that you went to boarding school?” Noah asked.

“No, i was already at boarding school but it is her fault my father died”, an angry Joe stated.

“Now is not the time for this Joe, Noah come with me I’ll take you home”, Graham said trying to calm the situation down.

“How is it her fault? What did she do.” Noah replied with a quiver to his voice trying not to get upset.

“She poisoned him, all she ever wanted was his money. She killed our father Noah”, Joe shouted.

Noah physically started to shake, fighting back the tears he ran out of home farm. Graham chased after him, “Noah wait, I’ll give you a lift”.

****

Meanwhile over at the Pub Charity and Vanessa were having a catch up over a drink and a bite to eat.

“What can i get you two love birds?”, asked a smiling chas.

“Oh shut it chas, and get us a couple of pints”, an embarrassed Charity replied.

Over at a quiet table in the corner of the pub the ladies were filling each other in with what’s been happening in their lives. Charity jokingly asked “so babe where you taking me on our next date…”. Before being able to finish her sentence the pair were interrupted by a devastated Noah rushing into the pub. A worried Charity shouts “Noah babe, why aren’t you at school?”

“Just leave me alone”, Noah replied with tears streaming down his face.

Charity’s face drops, her smile disappears, worry starts to set in. A concerned Vanessa does her best to encourage charity to go comfort him, but she knows what she’s like. “Go after him, go see if he’s ok! I can wait, he’s more important right now”, Vanessa said in a calming manner.

Agreeing, Charity leans forward towards Vanessa kissing her gently on the lips. She whispered “thank you” as she got up and made her way into the back.

****

Charity rushes through to the back room, composing herself she asked, “Noah babe what’s happened?”

“Like you don’t know”.

“Know what babe? I cant help if I don’t know what’s wrong”.

“My dad, it was you that killed him? You wanted his money so you poisoned him”. An angry Noah shouted.

“This is all Joe isn’t it? What did i tell you about spending time with him? He is toxic, he messed with Debbie’s head and now he is trying to mess with yours”. She started to pace around the room, not knowing what to say or do, breathing increasing with every footstep. “I loved your father, yes we had our bad times, but show me a couple who doesn’t. He died in my arms Noah and there was nothing i could do to save him, i was devastated when he died”. As the tears filled up her eyes and the sadness crept into her voice she mumbled, “I have done some pretty messed up things in my life, but i promise you with my whole heart I didn’t kill your dad”.

“Why would he lie to me?”, questioned Noah.

“Because he is messing with you to get back to me… surely you can see that, even you cant be that stupid”, an angry charity shouted.

Noah picked up his bag and stormed out the room slamming the door behind him. He rushes past a worried Vanessa, “Noah, everything ok? Noah.. wait”. Ignoring everybody in sight he runs out of the pub.

Worried about what’s just happened, Vanessa tracks down an angry Charity. “What’s happened?’ She said calmly, reaching to hold onto charity’s hand.

“That little weasel has brainwashed Noah into believing that i killed his dad.”

“What? Surely he didn’t believe him. I mean you had nothing to do with him dying… did you?”

“VANESSA, did you honestly just ask me that? I thought you of all people would believe me and know I wouldn’t do that?” Questioned Charity as she moved her hand from underneath Vanessa’s.

“Umm.. of course i know you wouldn’t” mumbled Vanessa.

“You know what just leave.. go on GET OUT”. A visibly upset Charity shrieked.

With her heart racing, Vanessa gathers her thoughts and reluctantly leaves, as she moves towards the door she whispers, “im sorry”. *****

Whilst walking home, Vanessa spots an upset Noah in the distance. Not wanting to make a scene she quietly makes her way over to where he is sat and sits down beside him. She reaches into her handbag searching for a tissue, she pulls one out of the packet and hands it to Noah, “here, take this”.

Wiping away his tears, he snuffles “thank you”.

“Everything ok?” Vanessa asked in a calming manner.

“All i wanted was to get to know my brother, yet my family hate him and i just don’t know who to believe anymore”.

“Things are complicated between your family and Joe. Joe blames your mum for things she didn’t do, and because he blames her he’s done some really nasty to things to your family”.

“Why is he saying mum killed dad”.

“I really don’t know, maybe he is trying to find someone to blame. But the truth is your dad was a very ill man and he tried to frame your mum for his murder because Charity was seeing Cain behind his back”. Expressed a concerned Vanessa.

“So because mum was cheating on him, he tried to make it look like she killed him”.

“Yeah, i know your mum can be a nightmare sometimes. Even i have experienced first hand what your mum can be like. But she would do anything for you, to protect you and she loves you with her whole heart”.

Noah replied, “I know she loves me but sometimes i just wished she didn’t always have a go”.

A smiling Vanessa explained, “That’s our job, we nag, we moan when your bedroom isn’t clean or when you spend too much time playing video games, but we do it because we care.”

“I guess so”.

“How about we go and get a milkshake and a cake and figure out what you want to say to your mum”.

With a smile creeping back onto Noah’s face, he nods in agreement, wipes his eyes one last time and the pair make their way to the cafe.

*****

Back over at the Woolpack Chas has poured Charity a large glass of wine hoping it will calm her down. Pacing back and fourth Charity is losing her mind worrying where Noah is, “i should be out there looking for him”.

“If you go in this state you will end up saying something else you regret”, Chas replied.

“Well i cant just sit her waiting can i?”, Charity responded.

“Look you’ve already upset two people today, just sit there and drink your wine and i will go find him. Marlon can cope for 20 minutes on his own”.

“Thanks Chas”.

Before Chas even had the chance to leave the room, Vanessa entered the room with Noah in toe. “Noah, where have you been? Ive been worried sick, i called you a million times”, said a frantic Charity.

“I went for a walk, then we went for a milkshake”.

“Look I’m so sorry for shouting at you and for calling you stupid. Because you are anything but stupid, you are the smartest boy i know”. Charity expressed as she walked over to embrace Noah.

“I’m sorry for saying you killed dad, i know your not capable of doing anything like that”. Noah replied squeezing his mum tightly.

“I best be going, Noah if you ever want another milkshake you know where i am ok? Ill see you soon”, Vanessa said from the other side of the room.

Before Charity could respond or even look at vanessa, she was gone. She knew by the tone of Vanessa’s voice she was upset and hurt by what was said to her earlier.

“Mum you can let go of me now”, said Noah who was struggling to breathe due to charity squeezing him so tight.

“Sorry babe, I just don’t ever want to lose you, you are too important to me”.

“I’m not going anywhere, but you are! Go after Vanessa mum, you need to apologise to her for whatever you have done. I like her, she nice and well she got me cake as well as a milkshake”.

“When did you grow up so much?”

**** Realising she had messed up big time with Vanessa, Charity knew she had to take Noah’s advice and go sort things. Taking the short walk from the pub to Tug Ghyll, taking a deep breath in she knocked on the door. Vanessa opened the door to a nervous looking Charity, “Hey babe, I’ve got some apologising to do”.

A hesitant Vanessa invites her in, “come on in”.

“Firstly i need to thank you for looking after my boy, he really likes you you know?”

“Well he’s a great kid, all he wanted was to hear the truth” Vanessa stated.

“I know and i should have told him a long time ago i just wanted to protect him from it all. I also owe you a massive apology, i should never have spoken to you the way i did, even being angry. It was no excuse and i will do my best to make sure it never happens again”.

“I accept your apology, i should never have doubted you and for that i am sorry. I didn’t know the Charity back then, i hear she was a bit of a wild one, but the Charity i know now would never be capable of anything like that”.

“So were good? Because Noah and I would like to invite you over for dinner tonight, he told me I wasn’t allowed to take no as an answer”.

“I would love to”, Vanessa replied with a smile the width of her face.

Grabbing Vanessa’s hand, she leads her to the door and the pair make their way to the pub for dinner.

#vanity #charity x vanessa #vanity rise #vanessa x charity #charity dingle #vanessa woodfield #fanfic #new fanfic #emmerdale #love #noah dingle #chas dingle #joe tate #emma atkins #michelle hardwick

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punjabaex · 7 years

Text

Apologies: Klaus x Reader

request from anon// Klaus cheating on reader with Caroline

warnings// minor language, reader feels unworthy, but fluff and angsttt! also, my first Klaus one-shot, so I'm sorry if this isn't great!

You were siting on the bed in your hotel room, staring at the dark walls. Your phone had been going off for a quite a while now. You immediately turned it off with aggressiveness. You’re quiet sobs now filled the emptiness in the room. You tried to reprocess everything that had happened in the past few hours of your life. And the reason for it all; Klaus Mikaelson. Where the name would give some shudders, to you, it gave butterflies. Klaus was this unexplainable, complex, intricate being. Everybody thought of him as this self-centered, murderous ego-maniac, but nobody knew him like you did. He was this kind, caring, and loving person, and you loved your hybrid with every piece of your heart. You had been the happiest with him, here in New Orleans. The Mikaelsons were like family to you. You were treated like a Queen by everybody, but you never took that position. You were far too self-less, compassionate, kind, and loving. And that was the exact reason Klaus loved you. You put everyones happiness ahead of yours, never put yourself above anyone, and did whatever you could to make sure that people around you were untroubled. He also loved how cheery you were. Always smiling, incredibly intelligent, being awkward, and not caring of what other cared of you. You never let your sadness be shown to the world. That was just not the light you wanted to offer people. You bottled up your feelings, and you were so good at it, faking your pain, you could’ve won an Oscar. For the past few months, you had been breaking apart. Klaus Mikaelson had broken your heart, piece by piece.. You found your boyfriend of 3 years, on top of Caroline Forbes. Although you were trying to convince yourself that Klaus couldn’t have done this, you truly knew he did. A FEW HOURS AGO: You walked in to the Mikaelsons home after shopping with Rebekah, also one of your best friends, for what seemed like hours. Rebekah had decided that she wanted to go visit Marcel, so here you were lugging in tons and tons of clothes, accessories, and other foolishness that either one of you didn’t need. You knew that today, every Mikaelsson, except Klaus, wouldn’t be home today. Elijah with Hayley, Freya and Kol, out and about, so you had the mansion to just Klaus and yourself, and you were very excited. You both did not get a lot of time alone, so whatever you had, you really did cherish. You put down the bags on the sofa, and quietly walked up the stairs to the room you and Klaus shared, ready to change out of you maxi-dress, and into some sweatpants and a tank. You could’ve sworn you heard a girl in the room with Klaus. You tried to use your vampire hearing to hear, but nothing was clear enough. You walked closer to the door, you could’ve sworn that anyone from miles away could’ve heard your heartbeat. As you peered in through the door, that was opened the slightest, tears welled up in your eyes. Klaus and Caroline were in a intimate moment. You choked on your breath, and began to walk away, ready to sprint down the stairs. But Klaus had heard you. He chased after you down the stairs, trying to slip on his clothes.  He was yelling your name. “Y/n! Love, come back, please, I am so sorry, just let me explain”. But your thoughts filled up your mind, blocking out his words. Tears were freely flowing down your face. Klaus grabbed on to your wrist, apologizing over and over again, and all you could do was stare at him. You were utterly shocked by his actions. And then it washed over you. “Let me go, Klaus. Don’t fucking touch me” you screamed, within sobs. He let go of your wrist just standing and staring now. He knew he was wrong, that he had made a mistake, that he had just lost the woman of his dreams. He had let Carolines and his old love come in the way of the woman he was going to ask to be his for the rest of his life. You walked out of the doors, you tears covering your vision straight into Kol’s arms. “What is it, darling” he asked with worry. You just buried you head further in to his chest. Crying so loudly now. “Just stay, Kol. Please, just stay”. “Don’t worry love, I got you, its going to be alright” he said as he rested his head on yours, hugging you tight. “I just want to go away, far, far, away. I need to go, now” you said, wiping your tears after a couple of minutes. “Y/n, please tell me whats up so I can help you. You do not need to go anywhere, I’m here with you”. “Klaus, he...cheated on me” your eyes welling up with tears again. You’re not gonna cry you told yourself, nope, not for him. Kol just stared at you, and engulfed you in his arms, saying kind words. “Ill come back” you said, “ I just need some time alone to rethink” “Let me come with you, y/n” “Thanks Kol, but I just need time alone, just me and my thought”. He hugged you one last time, and you left. Now here you were. In a hotel not to far away. You knew about Caroline. How much Klaus had loved her, and how much heart break he had been through when he wasn’t able to attain her love. You saw her, here and there, when you and Klaus took a little trip to visit the Salvatore brothers in Mystic Falls. The way Klaus looked at her, you knew that love was clearly existent between the two. Everybody talked about it, too. Klaus and Caroline. The tale of the two love birds. Some saying how she was dumb not to pursue him after how much he changed as a person after being around her, and other saying that she was intelligent for not going after the man. Whenever her name came up, you sulked a little on the inside. You had convinced yourself that she was far more gorgeous than you, and Klaus had every right to like her more than he liked you. But then, when Klaus had confessed his true love for you, you forgot all about her. And yet, here she was, with your boyfriend, proving yet again that Klaus would never feel the same of you, as he did of her. And that was the one thing that made you feel like utterly and completely useless. Minutes and hours passed by, and you feel asleep. Until you were woken up by someone gently pushing your hair back, you were ready to spring up and tear the person apart, but you knew the familarity of this person. Of their soft hands, and the scent of bourbon and leather. It was Klaus. And he was crying. He saw you slowly sit up, your red,tear streaked face. You looked away from him making sure not to make eye contact. “How’d you even find me” “The GPS on you phone, love” Klaus said. That damned phone, you thought to yourself Before you could even open your mouth to tell him to leave, he started to talk. “Y/n, I understand if you do not forgive me. I am truly unworthy of your love, undeserving of you. What I have done today, Ive never felt more bad about myself. I never wanted to hurt you, ever. That was one thing I told myself I never would’ve done. Caroline, and I, that was just the heat of the moment. I did not know what went over me. I didn’t mean to do it. The last thing I have ever wanted is to lose you, and when you walked out of that door, I’ve never felt a greater emptiness in my life. I have never valued your affection, warmth, and spirit more. I know that I am wrong, and trust me, I do loathe myself for it. For the man I am. In the past centuries, Ive been alone and broke, but when I was blessed with you, you healed all the sorrow in my life. I am beyond fortunate for you. I feel like the luckiest man for having you as my girlfriend, my lover, my support, and my happiness. And I know, I put a big tear in our relationship today, but I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you, to convince you that I am worthy of your love. Forgive me, darling” And a single tear fell down his face. You wiped away the tear, and pulled him into a kiss. One that meant, forgiveness, love, and new opportunities. “Klaus, what happened today, broke me in a way that I never thought it would have. You made me feel as if I was unworthy of loving, and that I was never good enough. Ive tried, tried so hard to not let the way Aurora, Camille, or Caroline looked at you. The fact that they were far more better for you, than me”. “Don’t say that. I have never loved anyone more than you. No one is as amazing as you, y/n, and it astonishes me that you don’t realize that. Your everything I’ve wanted to be, and more. And the fact that i wake up next you every morning, and that I get to call you mine, is unbelievable to this day. I promise you, with the enitirety of my heart, that I will never hurt you, ever again. I love you y/n, I love you so much”. “ I love you too Klaus, and I forgive you, but do that again, and I will surely put that White Oak stake through your heart, and drop your body at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean”. You both laughed at this, and you fell asleep in Klaus arms, till morning came.

a/n: sorry to the anon who requested, I literally procrastinated this until today, and sat and wrote in 2 hours, so sorry for any mistakes! I’m just trying to improve my writing more and more, so I'm very very sorry if this isn't great (or any of my writing isn't great lol). thanks for the support, and feel free to send something in my inbox, whether it be positive criticism, requests, or if ya just wanna talk! we are so close to 100 followers, so THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THE SUPPORT. Writing and reading here on Tumblr is something I enjoy doing. Not only is it a great de-stresser, but I get to see such talented and great human beings from all over the world :)))))))

tags: @tanjamikaelson

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artificialqueens · 7 years

Text

Dance with me (Biadore) - sunflowerdays

A/N: so this is a short biadore one-shot that I wrote at 6am because I couldn’t get back to sleep. I’m going to start writing more shit so let me know if you have any suggestions! I hope you all enjoy this!

Summary: Roy notices that Danny isn’t being himself when the queens go to the club, so he decides to find out what’s wrong in the sweetest way he can think off.

Danny wasn’t being himself. Roy couldn’t quite make out what it was, but he was sure going to find out. Everybody seemed to be having a good time, with drinks being washed down every minute, most of the queens sloppy dancing with each other, laughing and joking as they fall over each other in the middle of the packed dance floor. Both Brian’s were playing tongue wrestling with each other in one corner, whilst Aaron and Justin argued in another. But from what Roy could see, it wasn’t a big fight, they would be okay. They always were.

The only one not up and jumping around, hopping from one side of the room to the other full of energy, was Danny. Well- and Roy but he only ever got up and danced on the rare occasion. But Danny- Danny was usually the first one up, claiming the dance floor and trying oh so hard to pull Roy up. It worked, but as said before, only on the rare occasion. Roy watched as Danny swirled his straw around the still full glass. His eyes were staring down, blankly and his lips were pressed into a straight line. He didn’t look like he wanted to be here. Roy needed to get him out of here.

He grabbed his drink, walking towards the booth. Taking a seat next to the younger man. “You okay?” He asked, speaking clearly so that Danny could hear him over the deafening music. Danny looked up from his drink, his eyes finding Roys face. A weak smile found its way to his lips as he nodded slightly “I’m good” but Roy wasn’t convinced. Not one bit. “Want to get out of here?” Danny raised an eyebrow as Roy continued. “Iv only had one drink. I was going to leave my car outside of the club until morning but I can still drive. We can go grab a bite to eat? Maybe drive around the city?” Roy really wanted to convince Danny. And it seemed he had. “That sounds great” Danny had spoke up, making Roy grin.

He had got on his feet, holding out a hand for Danny, who gladly took it, intertwining their fingers and following Roy through the club. Roy had signalled Shane, telling him that the pair were leaving. Shane looked slightly confused but he nodded, quickly going back to the random guy standing in front of him, who clearly he was occupying. Soon Roy and Danny were outside, Danny shivered as they headed towards Roys car. The cold air wrapped itself around the pair, making both of them walk quicker. They soon reached the car, getting in as quickly as they could.

As they began to drive around the city, Roy didn’t quite know where they actually where heading. All he knew is that he was glad to have gotten out of that club and he was glad Danny had joined him. The warm air from the heaters made Danny sink into his seat, he hadn’t spoke much but he wasn’t exactly in the mood for talking. Not right now at least. Roy looked over at Danny, who was looking out of the window, taking in the city’s surroundings. He looked down to Danny’s hands, taking hold of one of them and yet again intertwining their fingers. A smile spread on his lips as he saw Danny’s lips curl up slightly, his eyes looking down at their joint hands. Danny then looked to Roy, flashing him a smile and bringing Roys hand up to his plump lips, kissing the back of it softly. This made Roys heart leap out of his chest and his cheeks turn a light shade of pink.

“You want to maybe grab some pizza or something?” Roys voice came out low and a little croaky, making Danny giggle ever so slightly. “Can we maybe drive around a little more? Eat later?” He spoke out. It was the longest sentence he had spoke all night. Roy agreed of corse. As he continued to drive around the city an idea popped into his mind. “I know where we can go” Roy spoke up, making Danny look at him slightly confused. “You’ll see” Roy smirked slightly, continuing to drive.

After a good twenty minutes, Roy found himself coming to his destination. Danny was looking out the window, trying to figure out where on Earth they where, but he had no idea. Roy continued to drive down the narrow path, Danny watched as Roy studied the path carefully. “Your not going to kill me are you?” Roy let out a laugh and shook his head. “I don’t think I’m capable of that. I can be a mean guy when I want to be but I don’t plan on killing anybody any time soon” this made Danny laugh. A sound in which Roy had wanted to hear all night, so when the beautiful sound filled the car, he couldn’t help but smile.

Roy soon stopped the car. Making Danny perk up. He couldn’t see much outside as it was pretty dark but he was excited to actually get out the car and see where they actually where. Roy watched as Danny undid his seatbelt opening the door and jumping out. He smiled as he watched the lights around him turn on. He knew this place inside out, he knew as soon as he arrived the lights would come on. He was excited to see what Danny thought of the place.

Danny stud in shock as he took in the view. They were on some sort of hill side, but it was also like a cliff, whatever he couldn’t make it out but he didn’t care. There was streetlights, or something similar to streetlights placed near a bench. As Danny looked around he noticed that in front of him was a sea. How he hadn’t noticed it he didn’t know? He walked towards the edge of the cliff/whatever the hell it was, noticing that they were pretty high up. Beneath them was a small beach, sand and of corse that beautiful sea. It was breathtaking. Only them there. It was so peaceful, Danny was lost for words at the view of his surroundings.

He slowly turned around seeing Roy leaned against the car, smile on his face. “You like it?” He asked and Danny smiled brightly. “Roy it’s beautiful. How did you know this was here? How didn’t I know this was here?” The younger man asked making Roy laugh at his curiosity. “One night, I wasn’t feeling so good, so I came for a drive. I ended up getting lost here. I didn’t know where I was, I had no idea this place existed. Turns out not many people do. So it became my go to place if I’m ever feeling down. Iv never brought anyone here. The views always seem to calm me down. It helps me just come back to reality” Roy was looking out into the distance and Danny was looking at Roy.

“I must be special then” Danny laughed slightly. He was now standing by the car, close to Roy. “You are” Roy breathed out, looking to Danny with a serious face. Danny blushed slightly, looking down. It was quite for awhile after that, but it was a nice quite, a peaceful quite. “Got any music?” Danny perked up, opening the car door and leaning inside to look at the cds which were inside the storage space next to the gear lever. He flicked through them coming across one called ‘calm’ in which Roy must have made. He placed the cd inside the CD player, flicking through the tracks until it landed on one song in particular. Danny listened to the words, smiling and getting out of the car. He walked over to Roy, grabbing his hand and pulling him away from the car.

“What are you doing?” Roy asked when he felt Danny wrap his arms around Roys neck. “Dance with me” Danny whispered pulling Roy closer. “You want me to dance?” Roy asked, raising an eyebrow making Danny shake his head. “Yes, now be quite, live in the moment” Roy wrapped his arms around Danny’s waist. Danny rested his head in the crook of Roys neck, as they swayed along to the music.

I found love where it wasn’t suppose to be. Right in front of me. Talk some sense to me.

Danny lifted his head, looking at Roy in the eyes. “Thank you” Danny whispered, making Roy smile slightly but also give him a confused look. “What for?” Danny sighed, looking down for a second then back up to Roy. “You noticed I wasn’t feeling good and you left the club and our friends just to make me feel better. Then you bring me here? A place which seems really special to you. I’m just really grateful for you Roy” Roy smiled, hugging the man, pulling him closer as he began to speak. “I don’t want to see you upset Danny, you mean too much to me. You don’t deserve to be upset” Danny pulled back yet again. They locked eyes for a moment before Roy realised what he was doing, His lips were on Danny’s. Danny immediately kissed back, melting into the kiss. They had both secretly been wanting this to happen for along time now, so neither of them wanted it to stop.

The song still playing softly in the background. As they slowly pulled away, resting their foreheads together. Danny a smiling mess. But he couldn’t help but feel his heart hurt a little. He pulled away turning away from Roy as a single tear fell down his cheek. Roy turned Danny around, his heart broke at Danny’s face as Danny let more tears slip out. “I’m sorry” Danny breathed out, wiping his tears away. “Don’t apologise. Just tell me what’s wrong chola.” Danny took a deep breath. “I can’t” Roy had a confused look on his face as he stepped closer to Danny. “You can tell me anything. Please. Let it out” Roy whispered, bringing his thumb up to wipe away another one of Danny’s tears.

“I’m just scared” Danny spoke truthfully, Roy raised an eyebrow “what of?” His voice came out quite, he waited for Danny to answer. “I’m just scared that you don’t love me the same way I love you” Danny’s voice broke and so did Roys heart. Tears kept spilling from Danny’s bright green eyes as Roy pulled him into a hug. “You want to know a secret?” Roy spoke quietly. Making Danny look at him with wonder. “Iv been in love with you since the day I met you. There was something about you that just made me look at you differently. Different from how I view anybody else. You were just so sweet, so caring. You made me view the world differently. You made me feel safe when nobody else did. You made me feel like I didn’t have to be such a mean bitch. You noticed that I had feelings. You didn’t play with them. You took care of them” Roy now also had tears falling from his Dark brown eyes, in which Danny could get lost in forever.

“Daniel Noriega, I am in love with you” Danny smiled, wiping his eyes. “You know. I was so scared. So scared of being hurt again. I thought that I wasn’t cape able of falling in love. My heart had been broken before. I didn’t want it to happen again. I didn’t want to catch feelings. But somehow, I fell for you. You made me feel like I could love again. You made me believe that I’m worth it. You were the one who was always there for me. Honestly I love you. I love you so much Roy” Roy took this opportunity to reconnect their lips. Both smiling messes.

As the sound of the music and the crashing of the waves faded away. The only thing that could be heard was the beating of each others hearts. As Danny’s once broken heart was put back together again.

#biadore #bianca del rio #adore delano #oneshot #love #fluff #rpdr fanfiction #canon compliant

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wlwhc · 7 years

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Grief II - More Random Writing

Summary: this is like part two of the random writing, I wish I could post something more than random writing but NOTHING COMES TO MY HEAD THIS IS THE ONLY THING I COULD WRITE UGH!. Maybe tomorrow I’ll keep writing it...I have to bring Pietro back from the dead lol

Words: 1074

Part I - Part II - Part III - Part IV (Soon)

Chapter II - Loneliness

After giving Wanda her dinner, you got back to the living room, founding Nat talking on her phone.

“I’ll tell her Nick, no problem-Hey I gotta go, I’ll inform you later, hey Y/N” Nat said. You send her a look.

“I was just talking with-”

“Nick Fury” You complete her sentence. Nick Fury was not a friend of yours, in fact, you already tried to kill him once.

“yes, Fury...my boss, the guy that you can’t kill because that would be something bad” Nat said to you, with her and on her waist.

“Who said I was a good guy”

“Look...don’t do anything stupid, we have enough with Steve and Tony” Nat said, rolling her eyes at your comment.

“...Why am I here Natalia? We haven’t talked in years” She sighed deeply.

Natasha and you met in one of her early mission as The Black Widow, the Russian agent was just a teenager then, you somehow end up taking a liking to her and infiltrated the base where she was being trained, and took care of her until she could do it by herself. Even after all the awful things she has done, she could always count on you, you’re her friend, her protector...almost like a big sister, with the difference that you remain with a face of 18 and now she’s stepping on the 30’s, that’s something she had always envy.

“it’s complicated” She said. You got closer to her, with a flick of your wrist, every camera of that room and any other dispositive turned off. Nat gulps loudly.

“it has something to do with the body 50 floors below us?” You asked, already knowing the fact that they were trying to get a man come back from the death, you were already guessing who it was.

“Pietro…”

“...she knows about this?”

“Only you and I, and well, Nick” She said

“I know that Fury is not doing this just because he wants to reunite this two, he needs something in return...he always does”

“...She’s unstable, she has more power than you could imagine, grief and rage are not a good combination-”

“ and her brother can calm her down”

“yes” Nat was playing with her hands, a little habit that will only come out when she was around you.

“so Fury is scared of her” You saw her change her stance, a little more rigid.

“...everyone” She said, her face became blank, without expression

“even you?” You said, in a playful tone, she rolls her eyes at your comment.

“shut up”

“Hey, I’m just asking, plus, you were scared of me once”

“Yeah but I was child...and you were ugly”

“...you’re not a child anymore Natalia, what did she do to you to be so scared?” She got up from her seat and locked her arm with yours.

“...let's get going, there’s actually 55th floors not 50th” She said, dragging you to the elevator.

“You will tell me one way or another Маленький” (little one)

“... She can control your fears, i-it's like living all those bad experience at once” The grip on your arm got tighter. With any other person she wouldn’t show any emotions, but with you it’s a different story, she could always feel safe with you, you’re her protector after all...after all these years.

“She made you feel like a child” You said, you two finally got inside the elevator, and with Nat’s command, the elevator started going down.

“All those years, all the things they did to me...all that pain...I buried that long ago and she unearthed it, just like that” Without hesitating, you grabbed her hand, Nat looked at you, her stoic face crumbling down, her eyes beginning to get glassy.

“Are you still scared?” You asked her, grabbing her face in your hands, she flinches at the sudden affection, but relax once you caressed her cheek with your thumb, god she missed you so much.

“I’m not scared” Her voice breaking a little, her eyes looking everywhere but your eyes.

“Then why are you crying Маленький? talk to me” She remains silence for a little bit, and after a little sigh, she answers you with a broken voice, that you couldn’t recognize.

“maybe it’s because I missed you” You chuckled softly making Nat’s gaze focus on you.

“we both know that I’m not the reason for those tears, maybe only a quarter” You said. Truth is, those tears are old and new, Bruce left, Clint is dealing with Pietro’s dead, there’s still remains of Wanda’s power on her head. She needs a shoulder to cry on, a pair of arms to hold her at least for a few seconds, she needs you. Natasha had missed you so much, all these years thinking that you abandoned her, just like everybody else. And now you’re here, safe and sound.

You were the only person she could let herself be weak...human. You had always been there to catch her if her body couldn't take any more punches, you were there when her eyes didn't stop crying, you were always there, until one day, you disappear. Leaving her empty...without family...without humanity.

Nat shyly but surely approached to you, her head resting on your shoulder and her hands on your waist.You could feel her silent sobs and her tears soaking on your shirt.

“you left me-”

“I had to...you weren’t a child anymore, you didn’t need me anymor-”

“I did...I do” She hugs you a little bit tighter just like a little child would do when her mother has to go back to work.

“you really want me to stay don’t you?” You said, running your finger through her red hair, you looked at the panel, you were currently on the 11 sub-floor.

“...can you?”

“...I don’t see why not Маленький” Nat smiles at this, and slowly backs away from your arms. You wipe away her tears and she put her no-expression mask.

“we’re almost there” she said, pretending that nothing happens, but she didn’t let go of your hand until you were on 55th floor.

this is somehow turning into random writing series lol, also I repeat, I don’t know what the fuck is this, this is all random ideas, so I think it’s understandable why this sucks so much ya know

#random writing #natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff imagines

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psychostrilondes · 7 years

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HI IM GONNA WRITE MORE davekat because im disgustin

i made this little babie post that said like, dave hides in cramped little spaces like closets and laundry rooms sometimes and needs to be coaxed out, and ye!! its mostly when hes close to his version of panic over a delusion, oh no, oh no im not safe, where is, i cant find it, i need, i cant, everyones looking to kill me, im horrible, ive failed and im still failing, things like that? all hidden behind his flat mouth expression and No Words, and when it gets really bad the expression doesnt change at all but maybe he starts crying with how pent-up afraid he is and has to dip three fingers behind his shades to wipe the tears onto the sleeve of his god pjs , and, something has to Happen, and if theres no way to fight whats happening, and no one is around right now like its the middle of the night, the only option is to hide??

so imagine at like 4 am on the meteor or even in his lil house on earth c or just wherever, dave stalking down the hallways with his 1/2swordkind in his hands, clutched so freakin tight, and hes Cool and doesnt have much adrenaline even though hes scared bc he knows he needs to stay calm to fight if something jumps out at him, and there are so many perceived threats even though hes maybe actually totally safe, and hes on guard while he walks to ,,,, somewhere? anywhere thats more unfamiliar and cramped than his room, because whatevers stalking him would obviously know to check his bedroom for the man himself, so maybe he goes to the little walk-in food pantry they’ve got and shuffles aside some big bags of whatever of makeshift storage to hide behind them, or like, hides way back behind the laundry machines and, wherever, he curls up really tight with his knees to his chest and his specibus tucked away and ready to be drawn in a split second should he need it, and he’s so used to hunkering down in weird spots from his childhood, ugh, its just too natural and too bringing-back-memories, ugh, dangit

so he just kind of sits back there, totally hidden, and lets his adrenaline build up and he starts trembling and just kinds of , waits, for the feeling to pass, might , take a while , ah

and karkat and him have had this routine that he’s foregone today in favor of heavy dissociation, karkat hangs out in the main room with a book he’s reading and waits for dave to wake up even though dave wakes up like two or three hours after he does, its cool, he can use the reading time? its no big deal? its a big book anyways, but then, it’s four hours that hes been hanging out in the common room, and then five, and um, hes getting bored of reading, like u cant just read forever hehe

after five and a half hours he decides to go over to daves block and just wake him the heck up, itd be kinda cute to see him all sleepy and he totally has this image of messy-haired shadeless dave in his head, and hes kind of in a good mood, and he knocks, and theres obviously no answer so he punches in dave’s doors password like its nothing, nbd, and daves literally just

not in there

wtf ,,,, there goes his good mood hehe dave just Doesnt skip their whole eating breakfast together in the morning thing, either theyre about to argue or somethings kinda wrong?? is dave hurt or something?? did he get kidnapped by somebody on his way to the bathroom?? he laughs a little, and over the next hour he asks around for dave and gets a thorough “nuh uh” answer from just about everybody, and then, um, where the heck is dave. where’d he go.

after asking literally everybody he asks rose and kanaya last and kanaya sort of looks really worried?? oh no,, rose explains to him with equal worrie that maybe dave isnt feeling well, and we’ll keep an eye out, but she’s being freaking cryptic in the way karkat hates about her and he just leaves without unendingly pressing her about it bc he knows its useless by now lol

so for the next hour and a half hes just. looking where dave usually likes to go

dave isnt at any of his favorite spots, and if its earth c he even asks daves favorite cafe’s baristas if theyve seen him yet, and they say no, and its literally the afternoon?? um?? ugh

he’s gone freaking everywhere and karkat just ends up back at home or back where he started and he just ,,,,,, doesnt know what to do

its been hours and hours, its almost been like, all day, and karkat misses him, damniiiiiit, hes so sad :( in his Misery he wanders down the hall to make something to eat since he literally hasnt eaten , he ................... sees daves red outfit in the dark from where hes hiding under the shelving.........

wow , he just has this little second, like “um,” and he has this second to look and see his knees to his chest and his hands still clutching his hair, sort of frozen like that, and karkat crouches and says “dave..?” and dave startles and his hands re-clutch into white hair and oh no, oh god its happening, its happening im gonna die, oh no, this is just and im gonna be gone oh no fuck fuck and he cant stop some more tears from just Pouring omfg and he kicks out his cover, a big tub of whatever miscellaneous, and his 1/2swordkind is back in his hands and shielding his body from karkat, and karkat says “hey, whoa” and holds up his empty hands, “its just me dave, karkat, its karkat” and dave doesnt move, and his mouth is in a grimace, he totally just, caught that hes holding up his sword at his boyfriend?? karkat?? karkat’s here, this is karkat he’s looking at, and karkat just watches him, and settles a little when dave does, and his sword lowers a little as he falters, um, and he realizes he made a mistake, wtf omg

hahaha umm, but hes still so sure karkat is here to kill him maybe?? that might actually happen ,,, so dave does lower his sword and set it aside VERY slowly and cautiously without turning his eyes away from karkat, but he doesnt move from where he is , um,

and karkat settles out of his crouch and sits down on the floor there, and like, “have u been hiding here the whole time?” and dave stares at him like hes surprised karkats here?!?!?!?!? when did karkat get here wtf

an hes dissociating out of his darn mind, like it feels like hes been hiding behind this big box for years,,,,, and most of him feels like hes vulnerable with the box pushed out and away and he has to cover himself back up in case Someone Else comes in, and part of him is so happy his boyfriends here, karkat can make it safe, when he was upset earlier karkat was asleep and he couldn’t verbalize his emotions to wake him up or anything, omg, and dave just stares at him a whole bunch without even blinking, just taking in that his boyfriends here >w< dangit that would personally make me so happy too arg

karkat asks if he ate anything today, and asks when dave started hiding in here, and dave cant even process what hes saying to him but its okay!! karkat says, if you come out we can grab some food, i bet youre hungry right? and dave totally realizes that the cramps in his middle are actually from not having eaten and not from internal stomach insects and it must be really late in the day? and dave nods a little, and thats really good, really good that hes responding, honestly its been more than 12 hours and his back hurts really bad and his butts Beyond Numb and he could really use a blanket and a bowl of cereal .......

so karkat inches into dave’s hiding spot with him, sort of over the course of their conversation, and then by the time dave’s nodding or shaking his head to his questions karkat is back there in the dark with him, and he comments on how cramped it is back here what the heck?? how are u not atrophied?? and literally within One Minute dave is hugging him, he even initiates it because dave is a total cuddle monster, and they just sort of hug for a little while , and

theyre so cute :(

karkat instructs dave to shuffle out of there with him, and he helps dave up and supports his weight for a minute because his joints Freaking Hurt, and he holds him up until dave stops trembling and then they hold hands together really tightly and go and make something easy to eat like cereal or hot pockets or what ever

and then they eat the hot pockets

and its good

and dave still isnt talking but thats cool, hes still a little fragile, but its ok, dave is nodding and tapping his fingertips silently on his thigh and maybe he’s not feeling it yet but hes warming up, karkat can make up for the other half of silence , its really nice to get food in him, and within the next hour he says “what the hell, karkat” and then “you’d think they’d know how to make those” and its clear dave is gettin back in the swing of things :p

and that is the story of dave spending 16 hours hiding in a food pantry ... thnk u im garbage

#hs #psychosis #davekat #LONG!!!!!!!!

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slytherinspired · 7 years

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Tell me about the one who loved him - A Sirius Black Imagine (part five)

Hello! This is part five of Tell me about the one who loved him, but this is also a flashback, I guess to understand a little more what is going to happen, next, if I’m not ending this series.

Part II, Part III and Part IV.

October 31st, 1981

There was this strange feeling in his gut. Something bothered him but he couldn’t tell what it was. It felt like it was just an impression; something strangely bad was going to happen. Sirius looked outside the window, it was a dull night. Halloween. Kids were trick or treating with their parents, disguised into vampires, witches and animals, all sorts of curious things. Sirius scoffed. If only they knew. He wished he could have spent this night with his godson. But James’ son was safe, at home, with his two loving parents. It reassured Sirius. He thought about Y/N. Usually, Saturdays were their night together. They’d be wandering in London’s streets, they’d grab a bite, laugh louder than they should, annoying everybody with their silly love. But dark were the days and dangerous was this time. He really wished to be with her that very moment, hiding into her dark locks as she’d play with his hair. Feeling her chest rise while she was breathing, making sure she was really there. He never really knew what good he did in his young life to deserve somebody like her. At least, she was safe with her parents in their immense and protected house. He wished Moony was there, but they were not on speaking terms anymore. Sirius wasn’t sure where Remus’ loyalty laid nowadays. He didn’t trust him and it was hurting. If they could only stop the Dark Lord once and for all, if they could just only carry on with their lives… But no such thing was certain. They were at war. Gone were the days when they were just arrogant teenagers, when the only thing that they had to worry about was the next Quidditch match or the upcoming exams. Where James’ biggest interest was into courting Lily Evans. When the darkest time was when they’d have to spend a full moon night to protect Remus from himself. Sirius sat on the couch and sighed. He didn’t know what to do. Getting out was dangerous, Dumbledore had forbidden anyone to go out and wander if not necessary. But he had to do something, he thought, he felt like he had to go. He couldn’t just sit and wait anymore. After some annoying and worrying thoughts, he finally fell asleep, completely dressed, in a very, very uncomfortable position.

A loud crack woke him up by surprise. He jumped on his feet. ‘Y/N?’ he asked. But she wasn’t there. Instead, outside the window, was an owl holding a parchment in its beak. Sirius opened the window and took the letter in his trembling hands. He started carefully reading it. ‘There has been an attack at Godric’s Hollow…’ The letter fell on the floor, and his vision started to blur. He grabbed his leather jacket and helmet and ran out of his flat. His heart was beating louder and faster in his chest. He took his motorcycle and started the motor with a roaring sound.

While he was on his way to James’ house, all he thought was he hoped they’d be fine. James was a powerful wizard; there was no way he was in danger. Lily and Harry would be okay.

‘Come on!’ grinned Sirius, already driving the fastest he could. ‘COME ON!’

He finally pushed on a curious button alongside the handlebar and the engine flew in the air. This was the fastest way to get into the small village where the little family lived. It seemed like he flew in the air forever as he finally reached Godric’s Hollow. Up there, he knew he’d find James, Lily and Harry, surrounded and protected by the Order.

‘You didn’t need to run to us like a dog, Padfoot! See, we’re okay! It was just a scare’ would say James to him, patting him on the shoulders. They would be laughing. Sirius wouldn’t admit to James that he had the fear of his life, and they’d play a little game of dices until dawn.

He finally touched down the ground and reached the street corner. As soon as he stopped the motor, he knew something was wrong, he thought. There was an oddly radiating light coming out of the Potters’ house.

Then he saw it. There was no cottage anymore, not like he knew it. Blown up wood was all around, laying and shredded on the ground, some walls were not there anymore. Sirius felt like he wanted to run into to the house at once but he feared what he was going to discover inside. He felt like an invisible hand was pulling him from behind. Finally, he stepped on what was left of the porch and entered what remained of the house, shaking nervously. He felt like he watched himself from outside his own body. Everything felt so silent. As he turned around the living room, he looked down at the body down the staircase. His worst nightmare was now reality. It was a pure vision of horror he would never be able to erase from his mind. It couldn’t be. It wasn’t happening. ‘James?’ whispered Sirius, like his friend was asleep and he didn’t want to scare him by waking him up abruptly. But James was not asleep. His hazel eyes were fixing the ceiling, veiled, frozen in death with this horrible expression on his face. James died terrified, James died knowing Lily and Harry might not survive that night. Tears started to pick Sirius’ eyes. He kneeled next to his best friend and looked at him, completely broken. He finally dared to touch the cold body and closed James’ eyelids softly.

‘I’ll see you on the other side, mate,’ he muttered, tears slowly blinding him.

He’d never hear James’ laugh again. He was gone. Sirius sniffed and started to climb the stairs leading to the second floor. He knew there was nobody alive in this house anymore, but he had to see it for himself. He had to know they were all gone for good. He had to make sure his whole world had really collapsed. He moved very carefully, like his footsteps would disturb the awful silence that was reigning in the cottage. His heart jumped when he saw Hagrid standing in the middle of Harry’s bedroom, sniffing and whimpering like an infant. He hadn’t seen the giant man since he had left Hogwarts five years ago. At his feet, dark red locks were reflecting the strangely lit room. He didn’t need to see any more. Laying on her stomach, Lily almost looked peaceful. Sirius made the floor crack as Hagrid turned around snappishly to face the intruder, pointing a pink umbrella at Sirius’ chest. He was holding tightly something in his other arm, something he needed to protect. ‘Hagrid?’ muttered Sirius, facing Hogwarts’ gamekeeper. ‘Sirius Black?’ replied the big man standing. ‘Is Harry…?’ ‘Found him in his little crib like that, crying for his mum. Poor Lily…’ cried Hagrid, looking down at the dead woman. Sirius glanced at the child, wrapped in a blue blanket, now sound asleep into the giant’s arms . He stepped towards his godson, but Hagrid stepped back as well. ‘Don’t,’ he said rudely. Sirius laid down his wand. He opened his arms and reached out for Harry. ‘Give me the child, Hagrid.’ ‘No. Dumbledore told me to protect him. Bring him to safety.’ ‘I’m his godfather,’ replied Sirius, now crying.’He’s safe with me.’ Mercifully, Harry was alive. Sirius knew that he was going to live to protect this child from now on. He’d be right for James, right for Lily. He’d take care of their son like the Potters took care of him. ‘Ye’re not going to have him, Sirius. Dumbledore told me to take him to the Dursleys.’ ‘The Dursleys? What are you talking about? Give me the child Hagrid!’ But the giant pointed his pink umbrella to Sirius’ chest again. ‘What happened Hagrid?’ Sirius cautiously asked, raising his hands in the air. Hagrid’s eyes opened widely. ‘Ye don’t know? The Dark Lord, he’s gone!’ replied he between sniffles. Sirius’ expression changed. What could have happened in this house resulting in the enemy’s death? Life had no meaning anymore. If he couldn’t even take care of Harry, if is best friend lost his life to the hand of Lord Voldemort, what was left for him? He failed at protecting them and he’d be failing as a godfather as well if he couldn’t take care of Harry. ‘Who has been here?’ Sirius asked, his chest beginning to become tight. ‘Only Dumbledore and me’ Hagrid replied, looking at Harry’s face. Sirius followed Hagrid’s gaze to his godson’s forehead where a bloody scar formed a lightning bolt shape. ‘Nobody else?’ asked Sirius, his thoughts starting to put the pieces together. ‘Well, only ye and that Pettigrew boy, he came earlier, saw the scene and vanished.’ ‘Where did he go? When was that?’ asked Sirius, panicked. ‘Not long ago, he didn’t say where he was going,’ sniffled Hagrid.

Sirius turned his back and wiped his face stained with tears. The giant followed him and started to walk out of the house.

‘Where’re you going?’ shouted Sirius, trying to fight back the unbearable pain he felt. He didn’t want to leave James and Lily behind. But he needed to go. ‘Told ye, I need to bring the boy to The Dursleys,’ Hagrid replied. ‘Dumbledore’s orders.’ ‘You’re not going to get there by walking.’ Hagrid turned around, Harry seemed so small in his arms. ‘Take the bike,’ Sirius said. ‘I won’t need it anymore’ And without looking back he disapparated. He found himself into a poorly lightened backstreet. Outraged, he knocked on Wormtail’s door. He waited. Nobody came to answer. ‘PETER!’ he shouted, trying to stop his body to shake from anger. He drew his wand from his pocket and blasted the door with rage. He entered Peter’s hiding place. Obviously, the rat wasn’t there. He looked all around; everything seemed to be in its right place. Sirius started to pace inside the little flat. Everything was in order, why was everything in order? Oh, what a naïve and fool he had been! Nervously he put his hand in his face and fell on his knees. ‘No, no, no!’ he shouted, panting and sweating. There was this heaviness inside him, tearing him off completely. At that moment, Sirius realized the mistake he had made. He should have stayed the secret keeper. He never should have trusted Peter. He couldn’t be right; James and Lily couldn’t be dead because of him, could they? Sirius got up. Filled with rage, he clenched his fists together when he saw a tiny man looking at him through the opened door. His watery eyes were crammed with a mix of panic and fear. ‘YOU!’ said Sirius, getting out of Peter’s lair in a hurry. Peter was running as fast as he could, soon reaching the crowded streets of London. But Sirius didn’t care anymore. If Muggles saw them, it didn’t matter. ‘YOU TRAITOR!’ shouted Sirius, jumping on Peter’s back. They both fell on the sidewalk, where intrigued people dispersed themselves from the two fighting men. Sirius lifted Peter by the collar and punched him. ‘They trusted you! Why did you do it? Why did you tell him where they were?’ Peter looked around for an issue and bit Sirius’ hand. Sirius released him as Peter ran away. He looked at his bleeding hand, Peter running from his sight. ‘You come back! I swear with my life you’re going to pay, Pettigrew!’ Leaning on a brick wall, observed by a dozen of eyes, Peter turned his back from the crowd, and Sirius noticed the young man doing something odd with his hands, as he was looking for something. He remarked the blade, but it was too late - Peter screamed with pain as something fell on the ground quickly followed by a trail of dark blood. Sirius observed him, horrified. Peter turned around with a smirk on his face. Although he looked in pain, he also looked like he was about to laugh. Sirius looked down at Peter’s hand, where a missing finger could be noticed.

‘YOU KILLED JAMES AND LILY!’ Peter shouted, like if he was performing in front of an audience. ‘YOU BETRAYED THEM TO THE DARK LORD!’

‘Oh, don’t you dare…’ growled Sirius, reaching for his wand.

But before anything could happen, the ground disappeared under his feet as he felt a massive pain in the head. He felt his body fly into the air and land violently on the cement soil. There was this incessant buzzing, his head felt suddenly heavy. Sirius tried to open his eyes now filled with dirt. He managed to sit down and he looked all around him. Beside him laid a dozen of people among the debris as the sound of the water escaping a blown up fountain post could be heard. Sirius noticed Peter’s absence. His heart felt crushed again. Everything seemed to be absurd, what was this living nightmare? Life was just dissolving before his eyes. How many had to die tonight? The only thing he knew is that if he had been the secret keeper, like he was supposed to be, he’d be the only one dead. He would never have given up on James and Lily, and he would have died for them, but Harry would still have his parents. He hated himself and he hated life’s unfairness.

Through his silent tears, he scoffed. Everything did not happen the way it was supposed to. He started to laugh uncontrollably. Nervously, at first, but his laugh became louder and louder. He was laughing the pain away, he was laughing the guilt away. As the Aurors arrived on the scene, he felt arms grabbing him by the shoulders. His laughter was echoing in this sinister night where he knew, he really knew, everything was never going to be the same again. Although he was still alive, he felt like he wasn’t anymore.

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