I've been scrolling through your posts, and I just wanted to say;

You clearly know nothing about DID or any other mental illness for that matter. You do not know how systems work, I am assuming you are not a licensed psychologist. You have absolutely ZERO authority to be giving people advice on systems (etc...) .

You never supply anyone with actual information from secure and OFFICIAL organizations. Where are all of your opinions coming from? Where are the facts? Where has a doctor supported any of this?

Your actions have consequences, spreading misinformation about these things is ridiculously dangerous. Do you know how risky it is to tell someone not to see a doctor if they are hearing voices?

You don't affirm a schizos (or anyone's for that matter) delusions, that is just harmful as telling someone who is suicidal to kill themself.

I can't believe this blog is serious. I can't even take you seriously, actually. This is such a shitshow.

Another thing, Transracial, Transautism (etc...) Do not exist. Stop fetishing and obsessing over something you were not born to be.

This behavior is inappropriate and makes plenty of poc and disabled people uncomfortable.

I really hope most of you are teens figuring yourself out, you need to get your shit together. One day, you are going to get a wakeup call from someone who isn't as nice. And it's going to suck.

Please stop this disgusting behavior. I am honestly repulsed. I can only imagine what your parents think. This is fucking insane. You are insane.

Best of wishes xxx

I have never told anyone not to see a doctor if they feel like they need to. But I do reject the sanist belief that voice hearing is inherently pathological. What we do, tulpamancy, induces voice hearing in a non-pathological and beneficial way. This is the opinion of Dr Michael Lifshitz, a professor in psychiatry at McGill University with a PhD in neuroscience:

“If something doesn’t hurt, then it’s not pathological,” Lifshitz tells me on the phone. “Think about rumination. Maybe I think a lot, but it’s not depressive unless it’s making me depressed. Being disassociated — having the feeling of multiple agents living inside of you — in and of itself is not fundamentally pathological.”

“The thing that’s clear is that tulpamancy helps people,” Lifshitz continues. “Tulpamancy allows folks to feel more relaxed and better able to socialize. In fact, we’re interested in how we could use it for developing better treatments for those who do have DID or psychosis. Perhaps we can teach [patients] how to engage with voices or personalities in a way that might be useful [or] therapeutic.”

Similar viewpoints, that hearing voices isn't pathological, have been supported by many others such as Dr. Marius Romme, who founded the Hearing Voices Network. There was also a major interdisciplinary project called Hearing The Voice that explored pathological and non-pathological voice hearing alike. In fact, voice hearing is considered by a normal religious experience in many religions.

There actually aren't many informed researchers today who would say that all voice hearing is inherently mental illness. I have yet to see a single academic paper making any such argument.

My opinion that many intelligent voices in psychotic disorders are dissociative agents in the same way that alters are is largely based on this article from Dolores Mosquera, director of the Institute for the Study of Trauma.

And I want to draw extra attention to the last line, that strategies involving ignoring or getting rid of these voices can be harmful.

If there is a type of "delusion" I've affirmed, that's only the so-called "thought insertion delusion." (Though just so we're clear, affirming a delusion is nothing like telling someone to kill themselves.) This is because I take up the view of Dr. Matthew Ratcliffe (a professor at the University of York) and Dr. Sam Wilkinson, that thought insertion is likely the same type of phenomenon as auditory/verbal hallucinations.

In conjunction with the theory from Mosquera and Ross that certain intelligent voices heard in psychotic disorders are dissociated agents, I think it's reasonable to apply the same standard to thought insertion if these separate thoughts are personified and seemingly intelligent.

Would you like more sources or are you satisfied?

And I'm well aware that my actions have consequences. I hope that those consequences will be helping more existing plurals be able to accept their plurality.

I also hope that by introducing tulpamancy guides to more people, we can increase the number of plurals in the world and help normalize plurality little by little.

Finally, I'd like to ask that you consider revising your language. In addition to the obvious ableism of calling people insane, I don't think people with Schizophrenia and related disorders appreciate being called "schizos."

Masha Rostova

I keep going through the same debate - that of Liz’s born identity. Dialogues can be found for each character, but I’m trying to keep this as short as possible. 

Alan Fitch

Knew Katarina had a daughter named Masha. He and Peter weren't on good terms, and he clearly didn't know Liz was Masha. If he did, he'd know why Red turned himself in. Every bit why I disregard Fitch as the person who exposed Liz’s born identity. 

Anton Velov

Didn't know the name of Katarina's daughter, only that she had a daughter. Every bit why I disregard Velov as the person who exposed Liz’s born identity.

Ivan Stepanov

Ivan didn't know Liz was Masha until he actually saw her. Every bit why I disregard Stepanov as the person who exposed Liz’s born identity.

Constantin Rostov aka Alexander Kirk

Because he believed Liz was his daughter, she was necessary for his survival. Every bit why I disregard Rostov as the person who exposed Liz’s born identity.

Ilya Koslov

Being Katarina’s childhood friend, knowing the danger Liz’s identity would put her in, and him promising to protect Masha is every bit the reason why I disregard Koslov as the person who exposed Liz’s born identity. 

Kathryn Nemec aka Mr. Kaplan

Working for Raymond, being Masha’s nanny, knowing the danger Liz’s identity would put her in, and her promise to protect Masha is every bit the reason why I disregard Kaplan as the person who exposed Liz’s born identity. 

Dominic Wilkinson

Created an imposter Katarina for the sake of protecting his grandchild. Absurd if anyone believes he was the person who exposed Liz’s born identity. 

Tatiana Petrova

Knew Liz was Masha, but appeared to be well and good in hiding. I have no reason to believe she exposed Liz’s born identity. Certainly not when Raymond was the very person keeping her safe in hiding. 

Jennifer Reddington

Jennifer didn't even know she had a sister. They were separated when they were young. Every bit the reason why I disregard her as the person who exposed Liz’s born identity.

Dembe Zuma

Worked for Raymond, actually considers him a brother, and knew the danger Liz’s identity would put her in. Every bit the reason why I disregard Dembe as the person who exposed her born identity.

Sam Milhoan

Sam was the very man that raised her as his own daughter. Knowing the danger it would put her in, he’d never expose Liz, so he’s easy to disregard as the person who exposed her born identity.

Carla Reddington

She knew Liz was Masha. Possible for her to expose Liz's born identity, but not very likely. She told Red she didn’t say anything about him or Elizabeth, and I believe her. 

Middle Man

Because these are the only characters who knew Liz was born Masha, and I can’t imagine any of them exposing her to the Cabal, there has to be a middle man. A friend, an employ, someone they’d trust enough to inform. To inform a middle man that Liz was born Masha, they had to know Katarina’s daughter by name and have reason to give it to said middle man. This dwindles the list to four names. 

Alan Fitch

Fitch didn’t always have an agreement with Raymond. In fact, he set him up with Berlin, allowing him to believe that Raymond killed his daughter. It’s quite possible Fitch gave Berlin the name of Raymond’s daughter for the sake of getting to Raymond. What makes this unlikely, is the fact that Berlin gave no indication that he knew Raymond had two daughters. When he assumed his own daughter was Raymond’s daughter, I think it quite likely he assumed Zoe was Jennifer rather than assumed Zoe was Liz.  

Carla Reddington

Carla could’ve informed the Cabal after Raymond put her in hiding, but again, I highly doubt she did. For the Cabal to get that intel from Carla, they’d first have to find her. When Raymond makes someone disappear, they literally disappear, and I highly doubt she’d put herself at risk of being killed by him for putting his daughter at risk.  

Tatiana Petrova

Tatiana could’ve been aiming for her freedom earlier than they’ve shown on screen, but I think it more likely she’d go directly after Red. Because she believed Red to be the real Red, I highly doubt she’d put herself at risk of being killed by him for putting his daughter at risk. 

Constantin Rostov aka Alexander Kirk

Constantin is my bet. He believed Masha was his biological daughter, so he’d most certainly go looking for his child. I wouldn’t be surprised if he spent the entire 30 years searching for her.

Constantin wasn’t able to enter the states because he’s just as much a criminal. Why take that risk when he can hire someone to find and deliver. The point of him hiring Scottie and Solomon to abduct her from her own wedding. 

I’m suggesting Constantin hired someone prior to hiring Scottie. Someone who’d know Liz’s born identity because Constantin didn’t know Masha’s new identity. Had he known her new identity, he would’ve come for her a lot sooner. Whoever he hired to find Masha, that person could’ve leaked Liz’s born identity to the Cabal. 

Expect Constantin Rostov to have a middle man, and that man be revealed to have leaked Liz’s born identity to the Cabal because Peter most certainly didn’t pull her name out of his ass. 

We're All Going To Die from Stefan Hunt on Vimeo.

We’re All Going To Die takes on the simple task of exploring the meaning of life. Through colour, imagination, humour and fart jokes, Director Stefan Hunt asks you to look at the what ifs, the why nots and the oh wells that might flash before your eyes when paid a surprise visit by Death. With your internal monologue played by Jared Jekyll and Death played by Hugo Weaving (The Matrix, Lord of the Rings), you’re prompted to get existential whilst grinning from ear to ear during this independent short film of fantastical weirdness.

The film is an adaptation from Stefan Hunt's illustrated book 'Were All Going To Die' and part of a multimedia extravaganza of that same name that was launched in October 2017. The project uses death and art to empower its audience to fear less & live more. "Years ago I was crippled by fear. Reminding myself that I'm going to die has changed my approach to life. It's the most powerful force to live by." says Hunt, who independently funded this project alongside a successful Kickstarter campaign.

A huge thank you to everyone who has been part of the journey. Let's keep kicking fear in the balls.

For more information visit - wereallgoingto.com Official book available here - wereallgoingto.com/book

Director - Stefan Hunt Producer - Yingna Lu Director of Photography - Campbell Brown Editor - Stefan Hunt Man - Jared Jekyll Death - Hugo Weaving Production Designer -Ian Kanik Art Director - Mohini Herse Art Director - Courtney Covey Costume Designer - Christina Bouzios Costume Designer - Rosa Spring Voss Hair and Make Up - Katy Clucas Hair and Make Up - Lisa Mangion Sound Composer - Jonny Higgins Casting Director - Felicity Byrne Unit Production Manager - Maren Smith Unit Production Manager - Nicole Hofstädter 1st Assistant Director - Stuart Beedie Stunt Coordinator - Mark Duncan (TwinStar Stunts) Stunt Rigger - Neal Horton Production Assistant - Olivia Carolan Production Assistant - Yasmin Blake Production Assistant/Reader Emele Ugavule 1st Assistant Camera - Joel Eames 1st Assistant Camera - Sid Tinney 1st Assistant Camera - Tim Keith 2nd Assistant Camera - Luke Tysoe 2nd Assistant Camera - Chris Moore 2nd Assistant Camera - Rhavin Banda BTS Jack Shepherd Wardrobe Assist - Amber Theron Gaffer - Mat Wilson (Focus Film Lighting) Gaffer - Steve Schofield (Lumen Arty) Best Boy - Nathan Grant Best Boy - Richard Hawkins Best Boy - Charles Gray Key Grip - Chris Davies Sound Recordist & Boom Operator - Martin Demian Stills Photographer - Sam Shepherd Locations Services - Emelie Fagerman and Alex Intihar from Search Party Locations Online Editor / Colourist - Matt Fezz VFX Supervisor - Matt Fezz VFX Supervisor - Matt Campbell Storyboard Artist - Amber Theron Graphic Designer - Sam Shepherd Designer - Hui Ying Kao Designer - Courtney Brookes Animator - Andrew Khosravani Animator - Michael Chen Post Sound Supervisor - Jonny Higgins Voice Over Recordist - Rob Hughes Voice Over Recordist - Simon Lister VO recorded at Nylon Studios Special Thanks to; Paper Moose Crater Studios Mrs Nina Tattoli Vanessa Marian Helena Rosebery Southern Cross Cameras Australia Stef Smith Matt Pike Whitney Oliver Alexandra Kent Adam Benton Liam Riley Ant Pawley Kei Yokokawa Williams Management Andrew Wilkinson (Sydney Prop Specialists) Alt.vfx

HEAR: Indie Rock | HotWax - ‘A Thousand Times’ EP

HotWax just bursted on the scene with an incredible debut A Thousand Times EP that is WILD and absolutely captivating rock. Their grunge rock sound is reminiscent of early 90s rock but with much more OOMPF! Take a listen to their single “Mother” below: Acclaimed UK three-piece HotWax today announced their debut North American tour dates this fall in support of Royal Blood. The run will begin on November 9th at Los Angeles’ The Wiltern and take the band up the west coast and across the mid- and southwest before wrapping at San Diego’s The Sound on November 27th. “We are beyond excited to be supporting Royal Blood this November. We have grown up listening to their music and this opportunity is like a dream!” says the band. “To be playing America for the first time is insane, we feel so lucky.” A current itinerary is below and tickets will go on sale this Friday, June 2nd at 10am local time. HotWax–vocalist/guitarist Tallulah Sim-Savage, bassist/vocalist Lola Sam, and drummer Alfie Sayers–will be touring in support of their debut EP A Thousand Times, released May 19th(Marathon Artists) and which has garnered the young band praise from DORK (cover story), NME, Clash, Louder Than War, The Independent, The Times, and more. The band has also been getting early stateside nods around the EP and its singles (“Rip It Out,” the title track, “Treasure”) from Stereogum (‘Other albums of note’) and Brooklyn Vegan (“dose of grunge revival”), as well as radio play from influential stations like KEXP and WFUV. The five-track A Thousand Times was produced by Ben Beetham (of Kid Kapichi) and mixed by Mike Horner (Hot Chip, HMLTD, Deaf Havana). “The EP is a homage to mine and Lola’s relationship growing up together and the arguments we’d have a thousand times,” explains Sim-Savage. “The EP includes themes of guilt, love, climate change, womanhood, contraception, anxiety, and endings.” At just 18 years old, HotWax is already dominating local scenes in the southeast of England, completing a mini UK tour last month, support dates with Sad Boys Club and Cumgirl8, as well as stops at The Great Escape and Dot To Dot festivals. The band will also perform at a number of upcoming summer festivals, including Mad Cool, Visions, and All Points East (alongside The Strokes and Yeah Yeah Yeahs). HotWax’s rarified live energy and sound has already won the support of Courtney Love, Nova Twins, Wolf Alice, Jack Saunders, John Kennedy, and Matt Wilkinson. The band, who have only recently left school, harnesses the firepower of the grunge pioneers through songs armed with mighty choruses, and they possess the imaginative brilliance to stake out a new landscape in guitar music. Read HotWax’s full bio/download photos and artwork HERE. HotWax Live Dates: 06/01 - Manchester, UK @ 33 Oldham St^ 07/02 - Newport, UK @ Rebel Fest 07/07 - Madrid, ES, @ Mad Cool Festival 07/22 - Hackney, UK @ Visions Festival 08/25 - London, UK @ All Points East Festival 09/09 - Torquay, UK @ Burn It Down Festival 11/09 - Los Angeles, CA @ The Wiltern* (TICKETS) 11/10 - Oakland, CA @ Fox Theater* (TICKETS) 11/11 - Santa Cruz, CA @ The Catalyst* (TICKETS) 11/13 - Seattle, WA @ The Paramount Theatre* (TICKETS) 11/14 - Vancouver, BC @ Queen Elizabeth Theatre* (TICKETS) 11/15 - Portland, OR @ Crystal Ballroom* (TICKETS) 11/17 - Salt Lake City, UT @ The Union Event Center* (TICKETS) 11/18 - Englewood, CO @ Gothic Theatre* (TICKETS) 11/20 - Tulsa, OK @ Cain’s Ballroom* (TICKETS) 11/21 - Dallas, TX @ South Side Ballroom* (TICKETS) 11/22 - Austin, TX @ Austin City Limits Live at The Moody Theater* (TICKETS) 11/25 - Albuquerque, NM @ Sunshine Theater* (TICKETS) 11/26 - Phoenix, AZ @ The Van Buren* (TICKETS) 11/27 - San Diego, CA @ The Sound* (TICKETS) ^ supporting Alien Chicks * supporting Royal Blood Read the full article

Text Au-(requested) 'Is the offer still up?'

Jacks Save The Day

Anon Request: Hi! I love your imagines and blurbs. Could you please write an imagine or a short blurb about y/n dating gilinsky and she gets drunk with Johnson and gilinsky and they get super protective when a guy starts to hit on her and she doesn’t know what’s happening cause she’s too wasted? Thank you so much! 😊

“Y/n! Get ready! We’re going out to celebrate tonight baby!” I heard yelling from downstairs. I slid my bookmark into the page of my book before placing it on the bedside table. I padded over to my bedroom door and made my way to the landing at the top of the stairs.

Directly beneath me was the beautiful dark haired boy I’ve fallen in love with. Jack Gilinsky. We’ve known each other since high school but got together after we had actually left school when I attended one of his and Jack’s shows. Jack Johnson was a close friend and the other half of the duo Jack & Jack.

“What are we celebrating? Why all the yelling?” I giggle draping my arms over the railing to get a better look. G’s smile spread from ear to ear, I didn’t think it could get any wider.

“The studio approved a full-length album” he said gleefully, full of wonder.

“What?! Jack! That’s great!” I screamed, bounding down the stairs and jumping into his arms. He caught me, not expecting this strong of a reaction, and laughed into my hair.

“I see you told her the good news” Johnson chuckled as he made his way into the living room.

“Good? J, more like fantastic!” I yelled, giving him a hug next. “Congratulations, this is really big for you guys.”

“It is, which is why we want to celebrate properly, just the three of us” J replied.

“Let’s hit that new club downtown, I heard it has a really relaxed atmosphere, plenty of private booths we can just hang at” Gilinsky suggested.

“Sounds great, I’ll be down in an hour” I say giving Jack a quick kiss to the cheek before climbing the stairs two at a time to get ready.

An hour later...

I emerged from my bedroom in a cocktail dress and heels, ready to celebrate this big news tonight. Gilinsky could hardly contain himself when he saw my outfit.

“Damn, just damn” he muttered, biting his lip.

We ubered to the club, preparing ourselves for a night of drinking and not wanting to deal with driving.

We made our way into the dimly lit club, and found a vacant booth with wrap around seating surrounding a table. We ordered a couple bottles and commenced our celebration.

“To the two best Jacks I know” I say cheerily, raising my glass in a toast. The boys laughed and clinked their glasses with mine.

A few hours had passed and we were so many drinks in I lost count.

“I’m just going to use the ladies room” I half-yelled over the music. They give me a nod, but not before Jack pulled me in for a kiss.

On my way out of the powder room I felt a hand grab my arm, a semi-attractive guy in his mid-twenties gave me a big flirty smile, clearly about to lay on some moves. I was preparing my “I have a boyfriend, so no thank you” speech when he caged me against the wall, clearly not interested in the answer no.

“Come on baby, let’s dance” he crooned.

“No thank you, I have to be getting back to my boyfriend, he’ll wonder where I am” I answer trying to duck underneath his arm. I didn’t fully realize the danger that I was in, I was too many drinks in and thought he was just being friendly. Sober me is kicking myself.

“Come on, at least let me buy you a drink. You’re gorgeous and I will kick myself later if I didn’t get the chance to at least have a drink with you” he said trying to lean in for a kiss now.

In one swift movement I felt like I could breath again as this guy’s body was no longer on top of mine. I look to my right to see him the one now caged against the wall. Gilinsky.

“What do you think you’re doing” he growled out, twisting the guy’s arm.

“You back off and leave her alone” J stepped in. I never heard either of them speak so angrily before.

“If I even see your face around here any more, I promise you won’t ever want to see me again” G growled. The guy look pissed and afraid at the same time.

“Alright, alright. Message received” he stammered.

G threw himself off of the guy and he slumped to the floor, half wasted.

“Thank god you guys showed up when you did, that was getting a little too intense” I say uneasy.

“We knew you were drinking a lot tonight, and you are such a nice drunk so you probably didn’t realize this guy was being a huge creep” J said, making me laugh slightly.

“Nobody will ever mess with you, you’re my girl, you know that right?” G said, grabbing my chin to look up at him and staring into my eyes intently.

I nodded as he placed a kiss to my forehead.

“I love you Jack” I smile into his chest.

“Oh, and you too Jack” I shoot a playful smile at the other Jack in my life.

I def stalked the Sammy Wilk and Jack G tag and I apologize for the reblogs

Lmfao jk expect more bc I’m in my feels

when my mom tells me i’m cute ❄️❄️❄️

Updated Masterlist

Preference - Hanging out

You choose who:  Woken up by an Angel 

Shawn Mendes - Nothing left for me 

Shawn Mendes - Respect

Shawn Mendes - Next to you 

Skate Maloley - Mornin’

Skate Maloley - Comfort

Skate Maloley - Different but the same

Skate Maloley - In my arms

Skate Maloley - Lazy Sundays Were the Best

Skate Maloley & Sam Wilkinson - Flatmates

Skate Maloley & Sam Wilkinson - Wrong Directions

Sam Wilkinson - Three little words

Sam Wilkinson - Brother’s Enemy

Sam Wilkinson - Salt

Sam Wilkinson & Nash Grier - Submarines

Nash Grier - Where Are Ü Now

Nash Grier - The Fans Don’t Know

Nash Grier - Just us

Nash Grier & Matthew Espinosa - Crushing

Jack Johnson & Nash Grier - Caps and Cake

Jack Johnson - Bubblebath

Jack Johnson - Summer Days

Jack Johnson - Worn Out Relationship Part 1 2 3 4

Jack Johnson - Hot mess 

Jack Johnson & Jack Gilinsky - Tequila Aftertaste

Jack Gilinksy - Forbidden

Kian Lawley - Dip in the pool

Kian Lawley - Cotton In between

Matthew Espinosa  - Matching

Jc Caylen - Eavesdropping

Hayes Grier - Kiss me

Grays Dolan - Sweet Present

*If a imagine is not tagged, I haven’t had time to tag it. Edit. I haven’t written anything new since 2.12.2015.. But I’m thinking about coming back, so I’m updating my masterlist. Should I start this request tumblr again? Tell me  here

Let me love you - Ethan Dolan

Request: Can you do a imaginewhere Y/n has a abusive boyfriend and when she tells Ethan he saves her and he falls in love ❤️

Requested by: Anon

Warnings: Abuse, swearing

My phone goes off again, the name “The Shit Twin” written across the screen.

Are you almost ready, I’ll be there in five.

I looked up at the mirror, sighing as my mascara smudged down my puffy face. The bruise was already forming on my cheek. A deep shade of purple that was going to be one of the most difficult bruises I would have to cover. My relationship with Blake hadn’t always been bad, I loved him. But now I feel like a dog on a chain that I can’t get out of. He doesn’t just hurt me physically but emotionally too.

Grayson and Ethan were my escape. They are my oxygen and are the only reason that I am still standing and breathing, my love for these boys is all that keeps me grounded. I apply the makeup that is needed to mask not only the bruise on my cheek but the hurt that I’m hiding behind my eyes.

Why haven’t I left Blake? Why haven’t I told Ethan or Grayson? It’s gotten to the point where I begin to believe that it is my fault. He’s psychologically destroyed me and mentally drained me. The beep of a car horn pulls me out of my thoughts. I grab my bag and run towards the car.

“Get in loser, we’re going shopping.” Gray shouts from the passenger window. My mood lightens as their contagious smiles force my own to creep upon my face.

“I’ve missed you assholes!” I shout, gripping their shoulders as I sit in the back seat.

“Yeah, yeah!” Ethan says, waving me off. “We’re getting frozen yogurt, whether you like it or not.” He replies, steering the car onto a main road.

“Mm,” I reply, patting my stomach, “just what I need.”

“I’ll get the strawberry one please!” I say, pointing excitedly at my favourite flavour.

“I’ll get the cookies and cream.” Ethan says, licking his lips as he eyes off his food.

“And I’ll have chocolate.” Gray adds, pulling out his wallet getting ready to pay for all three.

“Oh, aren’t you a blessing?” I say, hugging Gray.

“I love you!” Ethan shouts, causing my instincts to kick in and I immediately brace myself. “What the hell are you doing y/n?” Ethan questions, squinting his eyes at me. I let out a sheepish laugh, what the fuck y/n, now you must think of something.

“Your stupid arm almost flicked me in the face, idiot! I was just bracing myself!” I laugh, turning to walk towards a table, nor Grayson or Ethan mention the issue making me believe that they bought my story. But I shouldn’t have spoken so soon. Typical Ethan and Grayson, telling each other stupid stories. Stupid Ethan for taking a sip of water and spitting it in my face from laughing so hard. Stupid me for wiping my face.

“What the fuck is that?” Grayson says, narrowing his eyes at me. “Do you have a black eye?” He questions, slightly tensing.

“What?” I reply, acting confused. “It must just be my mascara.”

“That’s not mascara.” Ethan replies, anger evident in his voice. “Why would you be hiding a black eye?”

“Did you get into a fight?”

“Did you knock yourself out?”

“Are you in any trouble?”

I begin to feel overwhelmed, my breathing becomes heavy. My eyes become watery as my throat feels as if it is going to close in. I can’t do this, I can’t. I erupt in tears as I choke on my words. Stuttering, I begin to sob uncontrollably. Grayson wraps his arms around me as Ethan stares at me in shock. The only word I can speak is his name.

“Blake.”

Ethan begins to pace, his jaw clenching, his knuckles white.

“I’ll fucking kill him!” He shouts, storming out of the shop. Grayson and I run behind him. “How many times has this happened?” He yells, throwing his arms in the air in attempts to calm himself down.

“I-I don’t know.” I stutter.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” He walks over to me, holding my face in his hands. “We could have stopped this, we could have helped you!” I become a mess in his arms, sobbing more than I ever have.  

“I told him to stop but he wouldn’t, so I’d push him away,” I look into Ethan’s eyes. “But he would just push me back.” I cry, hiding my face.

“You deserve someone who never lays a hand on you! You deserve true love y/n, you deserve everything you have ever dreamed of.” Ethan bends down to my level, squatting in front of me. “You deserve the love that people spend their whole life looking for. I can give you that love.”

I’m going to end this here, and I just want to say that no one should ever have to go through an abusive relationship. Below is the number for family violence.

1300364277

trigger warning // death hey y'all, i'm back. again. i've been trying to post more but i'm in a rut. i love you all!! 💞

Preference #30: Spontaneous Moments (part 2)

(part 1)

Sam Wilkinson: As things started to get heated, you felt nervous...and not the good kind, “Wait, Sam” You said trying to catch your breath. Sam’s lips stay attached to your neck, still in the moment, “Sam, stop, I- uh, I” The words were stuck in your throat. The truth is, you weren’t ready to start a family and why you said you were was a question that will go unanswered. Sam stopped what he was doing and leaned against the headboard. “You’re not ready are you?” He said with a sigh. You stayed quiet, knowing how upset you made him. You shook your head and moved to the other side of the bed. “Okay,” Sam said before getting off the bed and leaving the apartment completely. Confusion washed over your face and your heart started beating uncontrollably. You knew Sam was upset over this but not that upset to the point where he had to walk out. You were too shocked to do anything so for the next hour all you did was lay in bed and think about what happened. The apartment door opened and then closed. You heard Sam put something on the ground before walking into the bedroom. “Come here,” Sam said leaning against the door, holding his hand out for you. You quietly obeyed and grabbed his hand. He pulled you into the living room, letting you see the box that sat on the ground. “I know you said you’re not ready for a family, and that’s fine (y/n). When you’re ready, I’m ready. But for now...” Sam stopped talking and lifted the box up, revealing a very sleepy husky puppy, “This is our family.”

Nate Maloley: Nate drove you guys to the closest place to get eloped. And luck was on your side tonight. You made it to the place just 5 minutes before they closed. You followed Nate inside to the front desk, “We want to get married. Right now.” Nate said, smiling at you. “Sir, are you aware we close in 5 minutes? That is not enough time for this process. And do you have a witness? What about a ring?” the receptionist asked, looking at you and Nate, clearly annoyed. You let out a sigh, realizing you don’t have either of those. Nate ran his hand through his hair, trying to think of something. “Look, I’ll pay you double the price if you just stay open for another hour or so. We can get a witness and a ring in less than 30 minutes,” Nate pleaded. The lady looked at you guys again, and then did something on her computer. “You have 1 hour to get everything you need and be back here. Got it?” She said, staring at Nate intently waiting for his answer. “Got it!” He yelled as he ran back out of the building. You drove back to the club as Nate called Sam, “Sam, bro, listen I need you to be mine and (y/n)’s witness,” ... “We’re getting married, like in the next hour. Can you do this for us, please?” ... “Fuck yes, I’ll send you the address inna sec. We gotta go get a ring,” ... “Ight, see you there.” After Nate hung up the phone, he quickly found a pawn shop that was still open. Hoping they had something, you drove to the place. “Do you have any rings? Any matching ones or just anything really?” You asked the guy behind the counter. He looked at you for a second before smiling, “I have the perfect set for you two,” he said before disappearing into the back. He came up a minute later with 2 incredibly beautiful rings. “$55 each,” the man said, sliding the rings towards you. You and Nate looked at him, wide-eyed, “Sir...There’s no way they’re $55 each,” Nate said, wondering if he heard the man right. “You’re right, they’re worth at least $1,200 each. But I was in your shoes 50 years ago. Go get married, you rugrats,” he said while Nate handed him the cash. You guys ran out of there and met Sam back at the venue. As you walked through the doors, tears formed in your eyes as you saw all your friends standing there. “Only a matter of minutes until I can call you my baby forever,” Nate said, pulling you in for a kiss.

Jack Johnson: “Look, G. I’ll be back in a few days. Just do whatever you can or take a break,” Jack said through the phone, smiling at you, “It’ll be all about the music when I get back,” He hung up the phone and placed his hand back on your thigh. You guys were 6 hours into driving and neither of you were bored with it yet. It’s been awhile since you and Jack got to spend any time alone together so this mini road trip was much needed. The rest of the day, you guys took the scenic routes through California. The sun was setting when Jack pulled to the shoulder of the empty road. He looked at you and smiled before getting out of the car. You watched as Jack walked to the front of the car and sat on the hood.You mimicked his action and took the spot next to him. With your head on his shoulder, the car radio playing your favorite song and the sun displaying the most beautiful sunset you’ve seen, you never wanted to leave this exact moment. “Yknow, I have to thank you for this,” Jack said, making you lift your head up, “I needed a break but I wouldn’t have taken one without you. Since day 1 I’ve been focused on the music, I forgot who I was for awhile. But you’re always there to remind me,” You smiled at his words. Jack hopped off the car and reached into the car, turning the music up loud enough for you guys to hear it outside. He held his hand out for you to grab and pulled you into him. Immediately, you knew what his cheesy actions were leading to. You laid your head on his chest and wrapped your arms around his neck as his hands settled on your hips. You and Jack swayed to the music until 2 songs passed.. “I love you so much, (y/n),” Jack said, cupping your face and collided his lips with yours.

Jack Gilinsky: London has been incredible. You’ve always dreamed of visiting one day and thanks to Jack, it happened. You and Jack had just gotten back from dinner and shopping. When you walked into the hotel room, you couldn’t believe what was in front of you. The room was lit by candles, flower petals all over the place, your favorite band playing in the background. “Jack...” you breathed out, tears welling up in your eyes, “What is this?” You asked, smiling as you walked farther into the room. He even had the bath set up, too. Jack grabbed your hands and pulled you into him, pecking your lips. “We haven’t had our own vacation in so long. We barely get to spend time together and this time I wanted to make it special.” Jack said, kissing you again, but this time a little bit longer. You couldn’t help smiling into the kiss. Jack pulled away, gently pushing you towards the bed. You sat on the edge as Jack stood between your legs. One of his hands caressed your cheek as the other sat on your thigh. Everything about this moment was perfect and you never wanted it to end. Jack took your hand in his, planting a kiss on the back of your hand. You smiled at his cheesy gesture. Jack smiled back at you before talking, “You’ve made so many sacrifices for me and no amount of thank you’s can show you how fucking appreciative I am of you, baby. You’ve been there with me through everything. From vine to making it big with music. Every bad thing that has been said about it. Even after every fight, you stuck around. You packed your bags and flew across the country for me. Nobody would do that,” Jack paused, giving you a second to take in everything he just said. And then you realized what was coming next. Jack reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. The tears came back as he got down on one knee. “I don’t want to ever let you go. Will you stay with me, forever?” Your words got stuck in your throat as you nodded vigorously. You jumped up from the bed just as he stood up, jumping into his arms.

J.G| It Doesn’t Get Much Better

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Word Count: 1,321

...

 I was exhausted. I had just spent the last hour arguing with my Jack. I hated arguing with him. Despite anything that he may say out of anger, it pained me to see him so bothered. But he could have a temper and from time to time it absolutely got the best of him.

“You didn’t even think about me or how I might feel,” Jack exclaimed with his voice slightly higher than normal. He was upset that I had spent the afternoon with a dear friend of mine. The problem was that this friend happened to be a guy. However, Brandon truly was just a friend. He was nothing more and never would be. Honestly, Jack had no reason to be angry.

“Dammit Jack! I can’t read your mind, if it was going to bother you that I was going to lunch with Brandon then you should have said something.” A jealous boyfriend was anything but attractive in my opinion. But with that being said, if Jack had spoken up then I wouldn’t have gone. I would have respected his opinion, I could have waited to see my friend at time where Jack could have been there.

“You shouldn’t even have to ask. How would you like it if I went to dinner with some girl?” Jack seemed to be becoming more and more aggravated.

I shook my head. Jack wasn’t getting it. “Well for starters, I trust you. Just because you share a meal with someone one minute doesn’t mean you have to jump their bones the next.” I was so irritated. I shouldn’t even have to be explaining myself. “As far as that goes,” I said, “Brandon isn’t just a “random guy”. I was friends with him way before I started dating you.”

“Do you not understand that a guy and a girl can never be “just friends”? He doesn’t look at you and see a friend, he wants to get in your damn pants.” Was Jack being serious? He sounded ridiculous at this point.

“Do you not trust me? Do you really think I would sleep with him or any other guy?” I was truly astonished. It hurt to think that Jack believed I was capable of such an awful thing. I would never in a million years cheat on him.

“I,” he paused for a moment, “I don’t know.”

I shook my head at him. There was nothing else left for me to day. I lifted my hands up, “I give up. I’m going home.” If he didn’t trust me, then there was nothing I could do. “I’m sorry that you’re jealous, but Jack, I have never done a single thing to cause you to not trust me. And I’m not going to stand here and beg for you to trust me.”

“Y/N…” he called out.

“Just don’t,” I said, turning around and walking out of Jack’s home. I had enough. Arguing with him was exhausting. I felt like I had not slept in three days.

I managed not to cry; I wanted to but every time I felt the tears coming on I turned off my emotions. I found a distraction, whether that be logging onto Instagram or finishing up an assignment for my Language Arts class.

“You’re home early,” my roommate said as she walked into the living area of our apartment. I had mentioned to her that I was planning to spend most of the evening at Jack’s.

“Yeah, Jack and I sort of got into it. He wasn’t very thrilled that I went to lunch with Brandon.” I said, looking down at my nails.

“Oh, I’m sorry, that really sucks,” my roommate said, attempting to be sympathetic towards me and my problems. “This was outside the door for you though.” She handed me a red rose and a envelope. The envelope had my name written beautifully in cursive on it.

At first I was a bit confused. Who would be sending me something like this? “Thanks,” I said, “I wasn’t expecting this.” She nodded and walked away, allowing me to open my letter in privacy.

Sorry about earlier. Wear something nice. I’ll see you at 8:00. XXX Jack

I smiled to myself, at least he knew when he was wrong. I glanced down at my watch, noticing that it was only a few minutes past six o’clock. I showered and managed to pamper myself a bit as I got ready for a this mystery outing with Jack. Remembering to wear something nice, I choose a beautiful white dress. I had only worn it once before, but I lost count after nine times of Jack telling me how stunning I looked. I thought it would be perfect for the occasion. I slipped on a complimenting pair of heels and called it good. Looking into the mirror, I checked my hair one last time and quickly threw on some earrings

Knock! Knock!  Eight o’clock, on the dot.

“Jack is here,” my roommate hollered from the entryway, letting him inside our apartment. I grabbed my bag and excited my bedroom.

Jack stood there wearing a black suit. He looked so handsome. I had almost forgotten about the earlier’s events. I simply felt lucky to call Jack mine. I flashed him a smile and I watched his jaw drop.

“Y/N, you are so beautiful,” he said, taking in every detail. That very moment he felt lucky to have me.

I walked to his side and took his hand in mine, “Thank you,” I said. “I’m ready whenever you are.”

He nodded and we both waved goodbye to my roommate. He led me outside and into his vehicle.

Half of an hour or so passed before we arrived at our destination. Jack brought me to the nicest restaurant in town. We only ate there for special occasions, like anniversaries and birthdays. “You really didn’t have to do all of this,” I said as Jack opened the passenger side door for me. “A simple ‘I am sorry’ would have sufficed,” I grinned.

“I know, but I was a complete ass earlier. I want to make up for it somehow or another,” Jack winked.

As we sat and enjoyed our dinner, I couldn’t help but admire Jack and notice just how handsome he was. It was honestly humorous that he was unsure of whether or not I would ever cheat on. I laughed out loud at the thought, causing Jack to look at me funny.

“I’m sorry, I was just thinking about earlier,” I giggled. “I want you to always know that you can trust me. I would never even think about cheating on you because that’s an awful thing to do, but putting that aside, why would I want to? I mean look at yourself! It doesn't get much better.” I sent a wink to my boyfriend.

He laughed a bit himself, “I am happy to hear you say that, baby girl, but know that I was just caught up in the moment. I trust you one hundred percent. I just don’t like seeing my girl with other guys, it scared me, you know?”

“Oh I know,” I laughed. I was grateful that we were both able to laugh about the situation a few hours later. I would hate to loose Jack, especially over something so silly.

“Sorry for being the jealous boyfriend. I know that’s not much of your thing.”

“Let’s just avoid the situation from now on. Tell me if you don’t want me going out with someone. I’ll listen and I’m hoping that goes for the both of us,” I smiled.

“You’re so amazing,” he said before placing a sweet kiss on my cheek.

After finishing our dinner, we choose to go back to his place. After changing into one of t-shirts, we spent the majority of the night snuggled up on his sofa, watching reruns of One Tree Hill.

You need Help

Requested by anon: “Okay how about this: an imagine when you are Sammy Wilk’s little sister and get to hang out wth Skate and the Jacks and you have anorexia (but they do not know) and they somehow figure that out and they try to make admit that you are sick and you brake into tears and Sammy comes in and he doesn’t know and he gets angry at the boys but in the end they help you (sorry if this is incomprehensible) tnx honey”

Guys, I just wanted to say this before I get into writing the imagine. I suffered from anorexia for almost 8 years, and it’s not worth it. You end up sick and potentially dying from starvation and malnutrition. It is not worth it. I had to retrain myself to actually accept food into my system without making me throw it back up because I was so used to not eating that my body adapted to it. If you need to talk to someone about it, hit me up. I’m not a professional but I am a survivor. Stay beautiful!

~

Being a teenage girl is hard enough. Being the little sister to a famous music artist is almost impossible. Constantly I’m being watched and criticized by people. My brothers fans. My brother is the heart throb Sammy Wilkinson. Oddly enough we get along great. He’s especially protective over me. I love it, but I also hate it. His fans are so brutal. They’re always picking me apart. Especially my weight. I’m not the sinniest girl ever. I weigh 140 lbs. I know, I’m gross. I have been controlling my portion sizes and have been losing mad weight. 

I walk into my basement, Skate and the Jack’s waiting for Sammy to come back from his alcohol and weed run. 

“Aye, look! Baby Wilk came down!” I roll my eyes. Being the youngest Wilkinson comes with some nicknames.

“I’m not a baby, Skate. And I got bored.” I bounded over, leaning against the wall. 

“Y/N, you don’t have to stand. Just come over here and sit on my lap.” Skate said, causing me to laugh.

“Nah, I don’t want to hurt you.” I laughed casually, but internally I was already crossing out dinner tonight. I squeaked as an arm grabbed my middle and drew me in. Johnson. 

“Damn, you practically weigh nothing. And I can feel your ribs and hip bones. Are you sick?”

“No, I’m completely fine. I guess my bab fat is finally dropping away. It took long enough.” I giggled. 

“You haven’t had babyfat since midde school. Losing that made you still look healthy. This,” he motioned to my body. “This isn’t healthy.” 

“Now that I think about it, I can’t remember the last time I saw you eat something.” Gilinsky said, sitting on the edge of his seat. “And I practically live here.” 

“You’r starving yourself, aren’t you?” Johnson said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. “You’re anorexic. You can’t keep doing this to yourself. You’ll wind up sick and weak in the hospital. Or worse, it’ll kill you.” 

“I’m not anorexic. I’m just getting rid of extra weight that I don’t need.” I responded, defensively. I stood, but it was too quick and my vision started to fade in and out. I wobbled before being pulled down once more. “Let me go, I’m fine!” I yelled, struggling and crying. I almost didn’t hear the footsteps thundering down the stairs.

“What the hell?! If he wants to be let alone, then let my litle sister be alone. She can’t tolerate you guys all the time.” Sam yelled.

“Dude, she’s anorexic! We were just trying to get through to her and make her realize that she needs to stop starving herself and get professional help. You should know better than to think we would forceher to say.” Johnson yells, silencing the room aside from my sobs. Sam’s face contorted into an unreadable expression.

“Y/N, tell me he’s lying.Tellme you’re not starvinf yourself to lose weight. You never needed to lose any at all.” His voice cracked, and I sniffed before starting my previous explanation. 

“I’m not anorexic. I’m not starving myself. I’m taking control of what I eat and how much. There’s a difference.” Sammy let tears flow freely. 

“Sis, that’s anorexia. You just don’t realize it. I can see your ribs now, your hip bones protrude, and your collar bone sticks out in a way that isn’t normal. You need help.” I rolled my eyes and tried to escape, except this time I did pass out.

~

I woke up to the sounds of beeping and the smell of rubbing alcohol. The blankets were awkward and the lights were too bright. I was suddenly aware of something stuck to the top of my left hand. I groaned in frustration and then growled in anger. I was in the hospital. And judging by the way the room was set up and how sturdy the door was, I was in the mental ward. I looked over by the window, seeing Sammy standing by it and gazing out. 

“Why did you do this to me?” my voice croaked. 

“You passed out and needed help, so mom and dad let me admit you here. They know, and so do Ben, Annie, and Emily.” I saw red.

“Get the hell out of my room! I hate you for bringing me here, and I wish you were never my brother! get out!” I screamed, throwing my pillow and anything else light enough for me to lift. I didn’t see him until I was released six months later. I had finally come to terms with my sickness. Every day I felt bad for how I treated Sam. I stepped out of the rehab facility, and he was the first one I saw. I started crying and ran into his arms. 

“I love you sis.”

“i love you too Bubby.”

“You drive me crazy.”

Request from anon: Hey love your writing and was wondering if you could do an imagine where y/n is in a long distance relationship with Sammy which is hard enough but then Sammy goes on tour and can talk as much because of being so busy, everyone else notices he's different and more sad so they call you and organise for you to come out and meet him after the show to surprise him all cute and stuff. Thank you :) <3 I’m deeply sorry on how long this took. But I really hope you’re still reading and still enjoying! 

Sammy’s POV

“Sam, we have to go…” I heard in the back. “SAM!” A clap in my face, snapping me back to reality. “Wh-what?” I stared at Emily, confused. “Sam, it’s fucking 2 P.M We have to get inside for the interview.” She grabs my arm as she pulls me into the building. In the meeting, everyone is talking about designs and new ideas, but I just kept looking at my phone, waiting for that one text. “SAM!” Michael yells my name. “Huh?” I look up from my phone, “Yeah looks great.” I mumble, looking back down on my phone. “That’s enough.” Emily mumbles frustrated, grabbing my phone. “Hey I was using that!” I jumped at her but she sticks her arm out. “Not until this meeting if over, you aren’t.” she pushed me back into my chair. “Pay attention.” She points to the front. I sigh, sitting back into my chair, shaking my leg and biting my nails waiting for the meeting to be over already to look at my phone.

By the end of the meeting, I basically pranced on Emily, grabbing my phone. I unlock it finding out I didn’t get a text back. I just groaned, sitting back down on my chair. “Nothing..” I threw my phone, rubbing my head. “Were you expecting something?” “I-I just, I haven’t heard from Y/N at all today.” “Sammy, I know you miss her.. But remember during this tour, you decided to be away from her. And you forced her to stay back home to stay at work and with her family.” “What did you want me to say? Beg her to come on this tour with me even though I knew she didn’t want to come but would only because of me? She was better off staying there anyways. So she could make money, study for her summer class, and see her parents whenever she wants.” “So that means she’s busy doing things Sam, so don’t feel sad about it. Just wait for the day you’ll be able to see her again.” “Mmm,” My phone dings. “I’ll be patiently waiting for that day.” I grab my phone and read it, walking back to the bus. 

Y/N’s POV

“Hello?” I quickly answer the phone, putting my car in park. “Hey..” Emily whispers over the phone. “Em? Hello? I can barely hear you.” I try to listen carefully. “Hey, hey. Sorry. How’s it going?” “Good. Just got off of work. What’s up? Where’s Sam? Everything okay?” “Yeah, yeah. Everything is fine. I just- I wanted to know if you were busy this weekend.” “Uhh, this weekend? Actually no, I should be off. Why? What’s up? Need me to do another errand?” “Yeah, actually that would be great.” “Sure anything you name it.” “On Friday, I need you to get on a plane.” “A plane?” 

Sammy’s POV

“EM!” I yell her name outside. “Em, we’re going to be late to the show. Let’s go!” I yell again. “Are you ready yet?” I wait for a response. “EM!” I start jogging towards the door of the bus. “Sorry, I have to make a few phone calls. Just go inside without me. They’ll lead you where to go.” “Are you sure?” “Yeah, I’ll catch up with you. Enjoy!” She runs back inside the bus. “Enjoy? Enjoy what?” I unlock my phone, making my 100th call of the day, “The number you are trying to reach is unavailable,” “Fuck! Seriously?! Answer your phone!” *Beep* “Baby, please answer your phone. I haven’t talken to you in almost 2 days. Ok? You drive me crazy! I need to hear your voice so I know you’re okay. Call me back, okay? I love you.” i hung up the phone. 

I walk through the front door, all the lights are out. “Hello?” I walk in slowly. “Anyone here?” The lights suddenly come on, “Hi.” I heard her soft voice. A smile emerges on my face from ear to ear. “Y/N..” “Wh-what are you doing here?!” I walk faster towards her. “I hear you’ve been having a hard time adjusting without me here. So, I came to surprise you.” She smiles so genuine at me. “Come here.” I pull her close. “These are for you.” She hands them to me. I chuckle at them as I hold them in my hand, “Here, you keep them, because i know these are your absolute favorite.” I hand it back to her.

I pull her close to my body, “I can’t believe you’re here.” I whisper in her face. “I can’t believe it’s been two months since we’ve been in each other’s arms.” “You know you drive me crazy, woman?” “Good.” She smiles devilish at me as I pull her into a kiss.