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#is this good who knows but it's good enough to make me lose my mind as i wrote it
badjokesbyjeff · 15 hours
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There were three race horses; ernie, bill, and ted. 
the three of them were good friends; they enjoyed racing each other and generally won and lost to each other equally. every evening, after the races, they went to a local bar to relax and drink some beer. they would often discuss racing techniques, their families, etc.
one season, bill wasn't doing so well. he rarely beat the other two, and was worried that he'd be sent to the glue factory if his luck didn't change. one night, at the bar, he talked with ernie and ted about it.
"you know, guys, i just can't figure it out," he said. "everything's fine at home; the kids are doing great, my wife is being nice, the bills are paid, my mother-in-law rarely visits - nothing could be better. maybe i'm just getting old. if things don't pick up soon, they'll send me to the glue factory."
the bartender, a big llama from peru, overheard the conversation. he looked around, to make sure nobody else was listening, then said, "hey, pal, i got something for you that'll make you feel like a young colt again." he reached under the bar and pulled out an unlabeled bottle of beer. "here, drink this; i guarantee you'll start winning again. come by each night for a week and I'll give you one. if it doesn't work, i'll give you double your money back!"
bill looked at ernie and ted, who only shrugged, then drank the contents of the bottle. "oh, just one thing," the llama said, "it'll make your ass itch, but that's okay; it's just a side effect. don't worry about it." the three horses stayed a few hours, played a few games of pool and darts, and went home.
over the course of the next three days, they went back to the bar each night, and bill continued the regimen of mystery beer. his racing times did improve! he was slowly moving back up in the rankings, and was soon back into the top three with ernie and ted. bill was ecstatic, and thanked the llama profusely.
"hey, my pleasure," said the llama.
a few weeks passed by, and ernie started slowing down. after losing three races in a row, he sobbed to himself, "i just don't get it. my life couldn't be better. i can't believe I'm getting old! they'll send me to the glue factory if i don't get back in the groove!"
that evening, at the bar, he told the llama bartender about his troubles, and asked if he too could try the mystery beer. "okay, but remember, it'll make your ass itch - but don't pay it no mind. it's just a harmless side effect."
"no problem. it'll be worth it to get back in the groove," ernie said.
a few days went by. ernie's ass did indeed itch, but after a few more days, his races improved, and he was back in the top three with bill and ted.
at the bar one evening, ernie bought a round of beers for all the horses, and thanked the llama profusely.
"i just can't believe how great that mystery beer worked!" ernie said. "you're sitting on a gold mine, there!" the llama said it was his pleasure, don't worry about it, etc.
a few more weeks went by, and now ted started slowing down, losing races. he, too realized that he'd be shipped off to the glue factory unless his races improved.
"say," he said to the llama one night after a particularly humiliating loss, "i think i need to try that mystery beer too. they'll ship me off to the glue factory for sure if I don't start winning again."
"no problem," the llama said, pulling out an unlabeled bottle. "here. come back every night, and i guarantee you'll be back in top form again, or i'll give you double your money back."
over the course of the next few weeks, ted's races continued to improve until he was back in the top three with bill and ernie. he pranced into the bar, full of vim and vigor, and thanked the llama profusely. "you know, my ass itches a lot; it's almost unbearable. but i can't thank you enough. they would have turned me into glue by now if it weren't for you. anything you want, let me know and i'll see what i can do."
"no problem," said the llama, "i make this beer at home using an ancient inca recipe. it's just my way of thanking my regular customers for their patronage over the years."
"i'm not kidding," ted said, "this is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. anything, you name it, anything you want, let me know, and it's yours."
"well, now that you mention it..." the llama began -
right then, a greyhound walked up to the bar. he was obviously depressed.
"barkeep, give me something strong. i'm on a losing streak you wouldn't believe," the greyhound said.
ted looked at the greyhound, then at bill and ernie, and said, "hey, look! a talking dog!"
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b1mbodoll · 2 days
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me when the function got vampire enha 😝
no but seriously i’m going insane you can’t just post that and expect me to be normal about it!!!
me trying to work on my feminist criticism of snow white and then u drop the most brainrotting concept in my lap!!!
anyyywayyyyy… vamp wonnie…. ooooughh… he’d say such gentle things!! so sweet and kind!! promising you he’ll only have a little bit :3
but when you’re right there and you taste so good and you’re making such pretty noises >_< how could he stop???!
love, 🔗
(sorry if this made no sense!! i’m on new meds that make me a lil loopy hehe)
💌: LITERALLY ME WHEN THE FUNCTION GOT VAMPIRE ENHA!!!!! 😭😭😭😭 my gosh im gonna lose it plssss vampire jungwonie my beloved 😵‍💫 n pls baby do not apologize, i’m in luv with this <3
vampires are such beautiful creatures <3 some of them have lil features specifically for luring their prey; like a certain tone their voice takes as they whisper in their victims ear before puncturing flesh and draining blood.
but there’s something about jungwon that’s extremely appealing, whether it’s his sweet lil face that completely disarms you, making you completely forget that he’s quite literally an apex predator, or how he so easily he gains your trust, promising never to lay a finger (or fang) on you without permission, you’re unsure but all you know is that you’d do anything for him.
that’s how you find yourself offering a tentative hand to jungwon, he’s able to hear your heart racing and he struggles to silence a groan, not wanting to scare you off before having his first taste of your sweet blood.
“you’ll be gentle, right, wonie?” you question, voice quiet as the vampire inches closer to your wrist.
the only reassurance you get is a peck to your palm before he sinks his teeth into you, latching onto your soft skin, moaning loudly as he takes and takes and takes, his eyes red, like the rivulets of blood staining your arm and his lips.
it’s terrifying but it feels so fucking good, you think, mind hazy as the loss of blood gets to you. but he stops before you pass out, cupping your cheek and kissing you deeply, slipping his blood coated tongue in your mouth, the taste of iron making you wince; is this what he tastes?
jungwon pulls away and it leaves you gasping for air, uninjured hand finding its way to his hair as he kisses along your jaw before stopping at your throat, scraping his sharp fangs along your pulse point and that fills you with fear, mutters of no, no, no are all you’re able to get out but it’s not enough to make him stop, how could you be so dumb? you shouldve known better, there’s no way jungwon would be content with just feasting from your wrist.
a choked out gasp makes jungwon’s cock twitch and he’s rutting his hips against you, chasing his orgasm as the taste of you floods his senses, you’re all he can see, taste, touch, and smell, and your painful whimpers are like music to his ears.
it isn’t long before he’s cumming, he feels sticky and soso content, breathing out a sigh of relief when he detaches from you, wiping his messy mouth with the back of his hand. all you can do is lie there, cunt wet and aching to be filled. who knew a vampire bite could make you this desperate?
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mc who ships the kings with their nobles (its an excuse for leviforas)
Mc that ships the shippers with their kings
Overall, I think none of them would think much of it because all the nobles seem to have a crush on their kings. They would mind if you started losing interest in their king because you percieve them to be in a relationship.
Paimon would, like always, be the chiller one about this whole thing. While he sometimes gets angry at his fellow shippers, he'll never get angry at you unless you do something really really stupid. Shipping him with Satan is just kind of silly in his view. He might humor you a bit, but he'll shortly cut all your hopes when he says that he has no romantic feelings for Satan and never will. Doesn't want to give you too much false hope, he just wishes you'll put your sights on what really matters.
Eligos would be dumpfounded. The whole interaction was like
Eligos: Mc! I'm so glad I've found you! I've prepared a nice bow for you to wear on your stroll with his majesty Mammon.
Mc: I'm sure Mammon likes ribbons a lot. I mean, with how close the two of you are... he sure has a thing for small cute things.
Eligos: Oh, he totally does! That's why I will make you the cutest being in Hell... behind me, of course.
Mc: No, don't worry. I don't want to tempt your man.
Eligos: My... what?
Mc: Come on, it's obvious that you and Mammon have athing for eachother. The way he pets your head for longer than anyone else, the way he always calls you his. I bet you have a full collection on lingerie just for him.
Eligos: I do, but no! No no no! I'm not in love with his majesty Mammon! Never!
Mc: First stage, denile
Eligos: First stage of WHAT?!?!?
Congratulation, you just broke Eligos' brain and made him take an emergency trip to Paradise Lost to get checked for whatever illness you implyied he had.
Foras gasps when he hears that and covers your mouth.
Foras: Mc, do you like breathing?
Mc nods
Foras: Good, then stop saying stuff like that. He always listens
Leviathan: Is this what you two are doing instead of sorting paperwork? The only reasons I allowed you two to stay together was because you're incompetent and Foras keeps getting distrected on his phone. I would strangle you both, but you're into it, you filth.
Foras: I apologise, great, powerful, handsome Leviathan for my wrong doings
Mc: I'm adding degredation to my newest fic
Leviathan: Don't flatter yourself a writer, I would never degrade Foras. He actually has qualities to speak of.
Foras: (I wish he degarded me as well)
Sorry, I've been too Leviathan possitive on my blog lately, I have to spread the hate
Amon would choke on his own spit. On one hand, hot, yes, he does want to get revaged by his king. On the other hand, that would be illegal because you're already with him. Amon is delusional, partly because he's starving, partly because that's just how he is. He would try to talk you out of it out of genuioun fear that he is breaking the law.
Gamigin would be repulsed. Lucifer is his brother, why would you ship him with his sibling? Please stop, he's really uncomfortable by the whole idea.
Mc: You know, I've been thinking about you and Lucifer recently
Gamigin: Really?! What about?
Mc: You'd look lovely together. He's so nice to you, I bet he likes you well enough in bed.
Gamigin.exe stopped working
Marbas: You need to leave!
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ifyoucandaniel · 17 hours
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exactly one person asked and i’ve been DYING to make this, so here are all of my favorite long batman fanfics in general and for new readers @twisted-tales-told :)
cards on the table by @wesslan ! 69k, completed. this is one of my all time favorite fanfictions, it’s so funny and tim is a mastermind genius and a little liar <3 he basically pretends to be a fortune teller and gives scarily good predictions and advice by stalking the upper class and eventually gets involved with the batfam and has to maintain his lies while dealing with his issues :) 10/10, very found family, good angst, so much lying
Dark Matter by @mysterycyclone , 221k, ongoing. this is a batman fanfic rec, of course my bbg dark matter is going to be here <3 this is a MCUxDCU crossover where after infinity war (spoilers for that if you haven’t seen it!) peter parker gets sent to the DCU dimension with part of the soul stone and basically is haunted by the ghosts of the avengers while trying to survive in gotham and get back to his dimension. this is so well written i’ve read it at least three times, it’s still ongoing but trust me it is SO GOOD. i can’t properly describe it, but if you like spider-man and you are interested in batman, you’ll love.
Red is the Color of Sinners by @bluelotuswrites , series, 120k, ongoing, M. i want you to look me in my eyes when i tell you this is my favorite series on ao3. it is set after under the red hood and daredevil 3 where jason and matt meet in a church after jason loses his ability to speak following the events of UTRH. they keep running into each other both as matt and daredevil and eventually jason begins helping matt out with injuries and tech. it’s not finished yet, but there is something so compelling about their dynamic in this series as well as jason’s overall character and how he is portrayed. i’m a sucker for mute jason after UTRH and this series does so well giving him a fresh start and a place away from gotham to heal and build relationships. i cannot recommend enough.
buy back the secrets by @vinelark , 71k, ongoing, T. THIS!!! oh my god, so this is a timkon fic where kon still doesn’t know tim’s civilian identity, but whenever he’s in trouble tim calls for superboy which leads to them meeting without kon knowing. shenanigans ensure when kon starts spending more time with tim! it’s still ongoing but the author is currently working on the next part and it is so so worth the wait. chapter 4 ends on a cliffhanger though so be warned :))
Sales People Know (listening is the most important part) by Mayhem10, 77k, completed, T. this has the coolest urban magical realism ever. tim basically runs this magic shop that shows up places and people who need something find it in his shop :) it’s kinda a slow burn found family fic with magic themes and a smidge of angst!
Retrograde Motion by Lysical, 112k, completed, T. this is best de-aged kid fic ever. jason gets turned into a 7 year old and basically the outlaws, artemis and biz, join forces with the batfam to take care of him. but trust me when i say this is worth your time, it might sound tropey but in the best way possible!! and jason’s relationship with artemis is sooo important to me in this!
Hand in Unloveable Hand (a chokehold) by britishparty, 54k, completed, M. this is one of the best psychological torture/grooming fics i’ve ever read. pretty much what if while our taking photos of batman and robin, little tim gets kidnapped and black mask gets his hands on him and decides he’s the perfect size for a protege. years of psychological abuse and insane mind games ensue. also tim is a Badass™️
If He Had Come by bronwe_iris, 45k, completed, T. so i’m a little freak and i love the angst of arkham knight jason, but more specifically the aus where bruce saves jason before he becomes the arkham knight! this is an au where bruce finds jason and saves him from the joker after 9 months of torture and brings him home. focuses on his healing mentally and physically and rebuilding his relationship with his family
Banshee in a Well by liverobinreaction (bugbee), 43k, completed, T. veeeery good angst. basically what if tim couldn’t die? 43k of tim drake whump where he just dies a bajillion times and eventually his family notices <3
The Birds: Hatching a Family by Oceanera12, 81k, completed, T. this is like “what if the batkids weren’t adopted by bruce, but instead they were all foster siblings who can’t seem to stay out of gotham at night and batman happens to find them and decides obviously he can’t leave these kids to their own business, he has to stick his nose in it” and there’s some angst and heaps of found family
The Hellblazer’s Apprentice by @bluelotuswrites, 29k, ongoing, M. what can i say, im a simple woman, i love to see jason with literally any older male mentor :) basically in UTRH what if he took up an apprenticeship under constantine to learn magic to piss off batman! so good, i really love constantine so seeing him and jason interact in a long fic is so good. also ALL BLADES JASON TODD SAVE ME… ALL BLADES JASON TODD-
something in the static by bonerot19, 101k, ongoing series with three main completed works, T. this is a jason centric series where jason still lives in crime alley with his mom and dad and never stole the batmobile tires. it follows his life in crime alley with an addict mom and an abusive dad and one night when his dad is whaling on him nightwing finds him and the bats just can’t seem to leave him alone after that. steph is his neighbor and best friend also and their relationship is so good. this is a “what if jason took a different way home to the wayne’s” fic series and i love it so much <3
catch the asteroids that come your way by ThePackWantsTheD, 54k, completed, T. i don’t read a lot of ships in the batman fandom i’m sorry, but this kyle/jason one is sooo lovely. basically the two of them growing up together and falling in love and then dealing with the aftermath of A Death in the Family and finding each other again :) really sweet and nice!
hope you find something you like! i realized the majority of these are tim or jason centric, and i love them all dearly, but if anyone has any recs for long fics focusing on any of the other batkids lmk! and any other recs in general, i am a fiend for new fics
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halsteadlover · 2 days
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𝐀 𝐰𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐢𝐧
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*Pics not mine credits to the owner*
• Pairing: Derek Morgan x Female!Reader.
• Requested by anon: Could you please write a derek Morgan x reader smut where the reader and derek and the team obvi are on a case and while interviewing neighbors in the apartments the reader makes a stupid bet like "I bet whoever lives here is a hot single bachelor in his 20s" and then it's the opposite and when they are back in the car derek makes the reader pay up but with her panties and when she goes to get them back at the end of the day it leads to smut.
• Warnings: a really brief mention of a murder case (it’s just a sentence), dirty talk, cuss words, making out, semi-public foreplay (f. receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it up you guyssss!!)
• Word count: 5.5K
• A/N: my first Derek fic 😭 I hope you like it guys, please let me know what do you think about it and also comment, like and reblog, it’d mean the world. Sending lots of love to everyone ❤️
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What part of your brain thought it was a good idea to make a bet with Derek Morgan?
You didn’t even know why you did it, it must’ve been the pleasure of losing because there was no way on earth you would’ve won.
You and Morgan were about to go interview a witness for a case you were working on: a serial killer who was killing his victims by setting fires. You were walking next to each other while you thought of some way to make what was going to be a long and boring afternoon, interesting.
You and Derek had a, well… Particular relationship, to say the least.
Months prior you and him had started to have sex. It started out as a purely physical thing as you had always been very attracted to each other, but as time went on you found yourselves spending time together and enjoying each other’s company even outside of a sexual sphere.
Your relationship, both from a working and private point of view, had always been characterized by a playful banter, mischievous jokes, by the constant flirting so it wasn’t strange you both often found yourselves making bets aimed to make lose the other’s mind.
In fact, it was at that moment that you came up with an idea for a bet, however forgetting he took them so seriously it seemed like his life depended on it, especially since most of the time he won, and the penances were of a sexual nature. Of course you didn’t mind losing one bit.
“I bet whoever lives here is a hot single bachelor in his twenties,” you said, pointing to the apartment where you were heading, ready to question the witness. He grinned and glanced at you, hands shoved in his pockets.
“Oh baby girl, you still don’t understand it’s a losing battle?”
“What’s the matter Agent Morgan, you afraid of losing?” You challenged him with the deliberate pleasure of teasing him and in fact he immediately gave in to your provocation.
He chuckled, shaking his head slightly in amusement. You arrived in front of the apartment door that had the number ‘23’ on its sign. You were standing facing each other while he thought about the penance, he would’ve make you do if you – most likely – lost.
Another evil, mocking grin appeared on his lips, and you immediately knew you were in trouble. “You’ll give me your panties when you lose.”
“If I lose.”
“When. But you can still back out.”
“Never.”
He held out a hand towards you but you didn’t miss the way his eyes roamed over your body from head to toe, checking you out without shame. Over time you had learned to understand what he was thinking, what was hidden behind his look and you almost caught fire because you immediately recognized that look, it was the one he gave you when he was imagining you naked in every possible and imaginable position.
And in fact, you weren’t wrong.
Just the thought of having your panties in his pocket, walking around and smelling you, was enough to make his dick stir in his pants.
You knew the odds of you winning the bet were slim, but your competitive nature made you shake Morgan’s hand, and he gave you another one of his panty-ripping smiles.
“Wipe that smirk off your face, don’t take the victory for granted.”
He raised his hands in surrender, chuckling. “I would never dare but be realistic darling. Do you know how low the odds are?”.
“What if I win?”.
“You won’t.”
“What if I win?” You repeated, crossing your arms over your chest.
He shrugged, very sure he’d win. “You’ll choose the penance.”
You thought about it for a moment and a mischievous smile appeared on your lips this time. “I’ll do a strip tease and a lap dance.”
He looked at you with a raised eyebrow. “How is that a penance? Baby I’d drop on my knees right now to make this happen...”
“…But you’ll be handcuffed, you won’t be able to touch me and I won’t make you come.”
He opened his mouth wide, feeling his dick twitch just at the thought. He had to force himself to think of something else since he didn’t want to question a witness with a raging hard on but it was awfully difficult when all he could do was imagine you strip teasing and grinding on his lap. “Fuck I don’t know if I should win or lose.”
“If you want to end up with blue balls then you have to hope to lose.”
You knocked on the apartment door, still maintaining eye contact with Derek and trying to hold back your laughter since you knew exactly what he was thinking. You took your eyes away from him only to let them travel down his body and to the crotch of his pants which was clearly prominent at that moment. You bit your lip as you looked back at his face and he glared at you.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he whispered, feeling the situation getting even worse. Damn it, he felt like a damn horny teenager.
Before you could respond to his comment the door opened, revealing a person who couldn’t be more different from the object of your bet. He in fact was a she, a lady who couldn’t have been less than sixty years old.
Your smile dropped as the one on Derek’s face grew even more and, as you had already said, you wondered what part of your brain had thought it was a good idea to make that bet.
“Good morning. Can I help you?” she looked skeptically at both of you.
“Oh yes ma’am, you just made my day so much better,” he replied softly but glancing at you. “We’re FBI agents, may we ask you few questions?”
Over the next hour and a half you interviewed other witnesses near the fire scene and on your way to the car, Derek wouldn’t stop trying to get close to you and touch you.
“Derek stop it! We’re in public! God you’re so unprofessional,” you slapped one of his hands away that had been squeezing your ass for the last couple of minutes, trying not to laugh.
“There’s nothing professional about what we do, baby girl,” he replied with mock annoyance, “Plus I can’t help it, I can’t wait to rip your panties off.”
“Nuh uh mister, the deal was that I have to give you my panties not you taking them off me.”
He snorted and rolled his eyes as you approached the car but before you could get in he grabbed your hand and turned you towards him. He placed his hands on your face and as he pushed your back against the car door he crushed his lips on yours.
He didn’t care about passers-by in any way, in people’s eyes you might have looked like a couple who was passionately making out.
After the first few seconds of surprise, you immediately kissed him back, parting your lips and letting him slip his tongue into your mouth. You knew it was totally unprofessional to kiss your colleague in broad daylight while you were doing your job but all it took was for him to get close for you to lose your mind, no longer able to think clearly.
Your hands moved down his chest to encircle his waist, trying to pull him closer to you than his body already was. Your mouths moved in sync while he seemed to want to suck his soul out of you and although you were now used to kissing him, every time it was as if it was the first.
You almost moaned into the kiss, your body already on fire, wanting more. You wanted him so badly, you wanted his hands, his fingers, his mouth and his tongue all over you.
“Derek please…” you sighed when you broke away, his face still dangerously close to yours.
“Get in the car princess,” he ordered and his voice was so low and seductive that if he had asked you to give him a blowjob right there on the sidewalk you would’ve dropped on your knees without the slightest hesitation.
He opened the door for you and you giggled like a teenager before getting in, thanking him as you watched him walk around the car before getting in too.
“I would’ve fucked you in the car here and now if we weren’t in public. You’re so fucking hot baby,” he whispered against your lips after moving closer to you and taking your chin between his fingers. “But I’ll settle taking your panties off for now.”
He placed a hand on your breast and groped it before sliding it across your stomach to your jeans-covered pussy. You moaned as he began to touch you, making you squirm under his expert fingers.
“I bet you’re already wet, aren’t you honey?” He continued to tease you.
“Fuck Derek… They’ll see us…”
“You’re right,” he replied, stopping touching you, causing you to moan and grunt at the same time. “No one should look at what is mine.”
God Derek Morgan and the things he made you feel. You were starting to really hate him.
“You’re having so much fun aren’t you?”
He started the car but not before throwing you one last mocking and sexy as hell grin. “You have no idea how much.”
You squeezed your legs together in anticipation feeling the urge and desire grow more and more. You continued to look at him as he drove, observing every feature of his perfect profile with your hungry eyes.
How could someone be so perfect?
And it didn’t help he had one hand resting on your inner thigh as his thumb was stroking dangerously close to your intimate area. You didn’t know whether to hate him, to beg him to go higher or both but certainly the smug expression on his face made you want to punch him.
Derek drove to a hidden, dead end road, not caring the rest of the team was probably waiting to hear from both you and him.
He kissed you breathless again, threading a hand into your hair. But he didn’t stay there for long as he moved down your chest again, wasting no time in groping your breasts again, until he reached your pussy again.
“God Derek you’re driving me crazy,” you hissed as you struggled to keep control. He kissed you again and unbuttoned your pants and you lifted your hips before your brain could even process the movement, allowing him to slide them down your thighs. You took off your shoes, slipping your pants off.
He slipped his hands into your underwear and a loud moan escaped your lips that Derek felt right in his dick. “As I imagined… So fucking wet.”
“Fuck yes just like that,” you sighed as his fingers drew circles on your clit. You gripped the sides of the seat as if searching for a leverage, pleasure flowing through your veins.
He knew where to touch you, he knew HOW to touch you, what to do to make you lose your mind and control.
“I'm dying to taste this pussy, look at you soaking up my fingers,” he whispered in your ear, pressing his lips to your neck and sucking on your skin but being careful not to leave any marks. The team already didn’t give you any respite suspecting there was something between you, he certainly didn’t want to give them clear proof.
Two of his fingers slipped easily inside your wet pussy, curling inside you and touching that spongy spot that made you moan and thinking you were about to ascend to heaven.
“Yes, yes, oh god yes,” you kissed him, spreading your legs even more to give him more access.
“You like that don’t you? My pretty girl loves being so dirty, letting me finger this pussy in public.”
You dipped your head back in pleasure, feeling the orgasm already building inside you.
He pulled his fingers out and you grunted at the loss and took off your panties, bringing them to his nose and deeply inhaling the scent that drove him so crazy: you and sex. “Now I really don’t know how I’m going to go through the whole day without being hard knowing I have your panties here,” he spoke up as he stuffed them into his pocket. “We should go back.”
What?
“Derek you can’t leave me like this!”.
“Oh I can’t and I will, we shouldn’t let the others think we might be doing something shouldn’t we?”
“You fucking piece of shit.”
He burst out laughing and you nearly punched him in his handsome face.
You were furious. Irritated.
You were furious, irritated but above all horny.
After that little stunt he had done in the car Derek had really left you like that, without an orgasm and with a mad desire to fuck.
The rest of the day was torture, especially having to work with other people while pretending you didn’t feel like you were on the edge the whole time. You didn’t spare Morgan some dirty looks after which he had to force himself not to laugh but he didn’t spare you those languid looks full of lust either.
It wasn’t easy for you but it wasn’t easy for him either since, unlike you, couldn’t hide his excitement so easily. Knowing he had your panties in his pocket and the memory of your wet pussy were giving him no respite.
In reality, you both loved that little game, teasing and torturing each other until the other lost his mind, even if… To be honest, wearing jeans without underwear was complete torture.
At the end of the day, when you were finally all in your own room, you took the opportunity to take a shower and put on a dress and the sexy lingerie you had put in your bag before leaving for the new case.
You giggled just thinking about Derek’s reaction.
You went to his room, knocking twice before he opened the door making your jaw drop and almost fall to the floor when you realized he was naked and only had a towel around his waist.
His body was still wet, sign he had just gotten out of the shower, the drops running down his sculpted chest that you wanted to lick off one by one.
“Oh man…” He sighed. “You’re breathtaking baby,” he began, shamelessly scanning your body from head to toe, a smirk on his lips. “I was wondering when you were coming.”
“You always opening the door like this, Agent Morgan?” You asked ironically before entering his room without even waiting for him to invite you.
“Woah woah woah, where do you think you’re going baby girl? Where is my kiss?” He scolded you, almost truly offended after closing the door behind him.
You giggled, but unable to take your eyes off his body and stop them from wandering hungrily over his figure.
“No, dry yourself first and then I’ll kiss you,” you replied before going to sit on the edge of the bed, placing your hands behind you on the mattress and tilting your head slightly as you looked at him.
He didn’t answer but came closer to you and placed two fingers on your chin, forcing you to lift your head and pressing your lips to his in a sweet kiss that took the air out of your lungs.
“Jealous Agent Y/Ln?” He whispered an inch from your lips, referring to your initial question after making you get up from the bed.
“Not even a little bit, it was just an innocent question agent Morgan.”
Absolutely. You were 100% jealous.
But you knew from the way the corner of his mouth lifted in a twisted, mischievous smile he didn’t believe it one bit. “You know, being a profiler I thought you were better at hiding emotions. Lies don’t look good on you pretty girl.”
“That would be true if I had told a lie but that’s not the case, I’m not jealous at all,” you said with a confident tone as your gaze alternated between his eyes and his lips. He was so close and so tempting you felt like you were already losing patience.
“To answer the question, no, I don’t answer to anyone. Just you.”
“You? Derek Morgan?”.
He chuckled. “Strange right? But it seems like you’ve done some weird witchcraft on me because I can’t stop thinking about you.”
“You already got in my pants, no need to be cheesy,” you retorted, biting your lip to keep from smiling.
He sighed, slightly shaking his head. “Always so cynical. What should I do with you?”
“Give me back my panties?”.
He raised an eyebrow. “Have you forgotten what the word ‘lose’ means?”.
“If I had known you liked them so much I would’ve bought you a new pair to wear you know.”
“You think you’re so funny don’t you?”. He grabbed your face with one hand, his mouth dangerously close to yours but never touching it.
You nodded with a smirk as you watched as his eyes were fixed on your lips. “Maybe you might like what I have now better.”
You took a step back and the look of pure confusion on his face was replaced by astonishment when he saw your hands lower the thick straps of your dress down your arms, then lowering the side zip and letting the dress fall around your feet.
The look of shock on his face was something you’d never forget.
Derek widened his mouth and eyes, letting his hungry gaze travel along your body wrapped in lace lingerie, studying every curve and inch of your skin. A warm feeling spread in your lower abdomen and it was amazing how just the way he looked at you was enough to turn you on.
“Holy shit…” he breathed out, “You… Are… You… Holy fuck…” he continued stuttering, unable to form a single meaningful sentence.
“Wow did I really manage to surprise Agent Morgan?” You giggled, your cheeks flushed and stomach filled with fluttering butterflies, knowing you had such an effect on him. Derek Morgan – the man who with a single smile and a look could’ve make rows and rows of women fall at his feet – was drooling over you, looking at you like you were the eighth wonder of the world.
“I’ll answer you when some blood returns to my brain.”
Your gaze trailed down his body and your insides clenched at the sight of his prominent erection beneath the towel around his waist. Your mouth watered just thinking about what was underneath that single fabric, imagining his dick in your mouth, in every hole in your body as he filled you completely.
“You look spectacular Y/n, my god” he murmured, his chocolate brown eyes still on your body and never on your face. You could see him struggling in not knowing what to pay more attention to, your breasts which were perfectly highlighted by the lace that gave that see-through effect while it showed the shadow of your nipples, if the hold-ups that surrounded your thighs that Derek wanted nothing more than to mark and bite or your pussy also covered in matching lace in which he wanted to dive and feed on it until he drown himself to death.
Derek moved closer to you, closing the small distance between the two of you. “Turn around. Show me this beautiful ass that torments me in my sleep.”
The tone of his voice alone made you almost beg him to do anything he wanted. You didn’t have to be told twice and you turned around, your skin on fire as you felt his penetrating gaze on you as he observed and studied every millimeter of your body.
You heard Derek exhale a deep breath behind you. “A fucking goddess. You’re absolutely mesmerizing.”
A rush of shivers gave you goosebumps as he placed his rough hands on your arms, stroking them slowly before moving up and moving your hair from your shoulders and letting it fall along your shoulder blades, leaving your neck exposed. His lips began to plant kisses on your skin and the mere contact made you sigh and tilt your head to the side, giving him more access.
“Do you have any idea how crazy you drive me?” he whispered in your ear and you clenched your hands into fists, pressing your nails into your palms in an attempt to release the frustration you felt. Every second that passed while he didn’t touch you as you wanted there was a shred of your sanity that was shattered.
You shook your head, realizing you hadn’t answered yet.
His hands went down your arms again, then moving up your hips until they reached your ass. You let out a gasp when his fingers tightened around the flesh of your ass, squeezing it, groping it with the sole purpose of torturing you and leaving you eager for more.
“God the things I want do to you baby, you can’t even imagine.”
“Do it Derek, do whatever you want to me… I need you.”
“I love feeling you so desperate for me.”
An empty feeling came over you as his fingers let go of your ass, moving to your hips. However, you moaned when he pushed his body against yours, pressing his erection against the curves of your ass and grinding against you without shame or restraint.
“Fuck Derek,” you murmured, now on the verge of losing your mind.
One of his hands ended up around your throat, forcing you to bend your head and rest it on his shoulder while the other cupped one of your breasts, palpating it over the top of your bra. You sighed, rubbing your ass against his hard dick as you couldn’t wait for it to stretch your pussy.
“That’s what you do to me, you make me so hard I can’t even think straight anymore.” He pinched your hard nipple from above the fabric. “You have no idea how much I want to rip this off of you but I know you’d kill me,” he chuckled in your ear.
“I don’t give a shit.” You blurted out, not evens embarrassed about how fast you said it.
“What do you want baby? Talk to me.”
God it was so damn hard talking when you were so horny you couldn’t even remember your name, the denied orgasm making things worse.
“You. Fuck me, please. I need you so badly Derek.”
He tightened his hand lightly around your neck, cupping your chin then turning your head towards him and before you knew it he slammed his lips onto yours, sucking the breath from your body as his tongue explored your mouth in a sloppy, deep kiss.
He slowly slid the fingers of his other hand – that until a few seconds before were on your breast – along your chest, your lower abdomen, touching your needy and drenched pussy with his fingertips. You whined during the kiss, spontaneously lifting your hips to try and meet his fingers.
God you were hating him at that moment.
“I can smell your wetness from here, is my baby horny for me?” he whispered on your lips swollen and red from the impetuous kiss.
“I’ll fucking kill you right now Morgan I swear to god.”
He laughed and your stomach clenched in on itself. “Don’t worry baby, I’m here. I’m going to fuck your brains out, so good you won’t even be able to get up when I’m done with you.” This time it was your pussy that clenched when you squeezed your legs together for some friction. Derek let go of your throat and began to play with your panties. Your breath hitched as he slowly began to lower them, trailing them down your legs.
“I think I’ll keep these too,” he whispered even as his voice came loud and clear to your ears. You turned your head to the side so you could look at him and let out a ragged sigh when you saw him kneeling behind you. His eyes shone under the light of the hotel room as they looked at you with so much intensity that they alone would’ve been enough to set you on fire.
He left a kiss on your ass, making you gasp to the point of embarrassment as he bit your skin and groped your now bare ass. “One day I’ll fuck this pretty little ass too and you’ll love every second of it.”
“You can start by fucking my pussy now.”
He chuckled again as he stood up. He placed a hand on your heated back, inviting you to lean on the bed in front of you and you obeyed, resting your hands on the bed and giving him a perfect view of your ass.
“I can see from here how wet you are baby girl,” he moved closer to you, his bare thighs touching yours and then you realized he had removed the towel from his waist.
God have mercy on me.
“I’ll eat this beautiful pussy later but now all I can think about is fucking her so good,” he said as his fingers brushed against you and this little contact, combined with his dirty words, made you squirm with anticipation. “After all, you deserve it after being such a good girl all day.”
You felt him place his tip near your entrance and you both moaned as he slid his dick against your folds, wetting it with your fluids. He provoked you, tortured you with every motion, it was what he was best at, he knew which points to touch to drive you crazy and leave you painfully longing.
“Derek please, I want you so much,” you whined in a pathetic tone full of lust and desire as he continued to penetrate you with just the tip and then pull out. You hated him and wanted him at the same time, so much it hurt.
“What do you want, princess?” His hands gripped your hips and he leaned over you, pressing his lips to your skin before leaving damp, wet kisses all over your back.
“Fuck me.”
“Fuck,” he hissed through gritted teeth before lining his dick up with your entrance and finally filling you.
“Oh God yes, you feel so god Derek.” You panted vigorously, your heart beating so hard it almost stopped as you felt his soft and especially bare skin touching every corner of you.
He remained still for a few moments, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he tried to maintain control of his body. You were so wet and it felt so good being inside you, Derek feared that with just one push he would’ve come on the spot.
“Baby please… Move…”
Baby.
Fuck.
That simple little word had no business making his insides twist like he had. You were used to calling each other nicknames, it wasn’t new, but there was something in that ‘baby’ you said: perhaps it was the vulnerability with which you pronounced it, breathless and as if he was the only one who could save you, the way your voice was so full of desire.
Derek pulled out before thrusting into you again with a strong thrust so deep if it hadn’t been for his hands firmly gripping your hips you would’ve probably fallen forward.
“You have no idea what you do to me, fucking hell you drive me crazy,” he breathed out, head tilted back and eyes closed as his dick pounded into you like he was angry.
You tried to formulate a meaningful sentence but as you opened your lips only gasps and moans came out. He was fucking you so deeply that with each thrust you felt a piece of your brain coming out of your head and your soul out of your body.
Exactly like he promised.
All the hidden frustration made its way and exploded like a time bomb, not much time passing until even the orgasm began to build inside you.
Your face was pressed into the sheets of the bed, your breathing heavy and quickening as your hands clenched the fabric into a fist. “Derek…” you whimpered in pleasure as you pushed your pelvis towards him with each thrust. It didn’t seem to be enough though, you wanted more and more.
One of his hands continued to hold your hips firmly while he slid the other along your back, until he reached your hair which he tightened in a fist forcing you to lift your head. His moans and groans sounded like music to your ears and you couldn’t contain the joy of knowing it was you who made him feel this way, it was you who made him lose control.
“Fuck I could stay inside you forever, you take me so well. This pussy was made for me,” he groaned as the tip of his dick hit your G-spot, making you see stars. You wanted to answer but when you opened your mouth all that came out were moans and sighs. “Just for me… You understand?”
“Just you baby, only you,” you babbled while loudly moaning, not caring one bit if someone could hear you having sex.
His lips kissed your shoulder, his tongue traced every inch of skin he could reach. “That’s right pretty girl…” he groaned in your ear, his sentence interrupted by another moan. “Fuck yeah you’re mine.”
“Holy shit baby… I’m about to come…” You managed to say and the orgasm that hit you full on like a truck gave you no mercy, didn’t let you escape as it sucked away your ability to breath. If it wasn’t for Derek’s hand still in your hair you would’ve collapsed on the mattress.
His thrusts became unhinged, even more out of control than they were before and it didn’t take long for him to reach his climax too. How could he resist? There was no chance, not when your pussy was tightening around his dick in the throes of orgasmic spasms, leaving him no escape.
Derek exploded inside you, emptying himself into you until the last drop of his seed filled your pussy, then leaking from your entrance and sliding down your thighs as he pulled out.
“Shit,” he breathed as you felt the weight of the mattress dip as he collapsed next to you. “You destroy me baby, how do you manage to do this every single time?”
You mumbled something nonsensical in response, eyes closed and too tired to say anything. He chuckled and stroked your hair, brushing it away from your face so he could get a good look at you.
You were so beautiful, ethereal, so mesmerizing it hurt and seeing that happy and pleased look on your face almost sent him to his knees, internally promising himself he’d fight every single person on earth just to always see you so relaxed and happy.
“How many women do you tell this?” you managed to say, opening one eye and keeping the other closed and a flock of butterflies exploded in your stomach when you saw the breathtaking smile he was looking at you with.
“If you think there is someone capable of making me feel what you feel, you’re very wrong. Like I already said, I don’t know what strange witchcraft you did to me but you really hooked me baby.” He propped himself up on one elbow and leaned towards you, pressing small kisses across your face, neck, shoulders and all the way up to your lips. “There is no one else since you came in in my life, I’m so obsessed with you it’s not even funny.”
You opened your second eye too, suddenly not so tired anymore. “Really?”
“Why, isn’t the same for you?” he asked, his stomach clenched with jealousy at the thought of a man laying a finger on you. “Please tell me no or someone help me I will kill every man who even looked at you, I’m an FBI agent and I know how to hide dead bodies in such a way that not even the families will ever find them.”
You burst out laughing, and rolled onto your back before throwing your arms around his neck so you could bring him closer to you and press your lips to his. “Don’t you think that’s a bit extreme?”
“Y/n. Don’t fucking test me.”
“I’m just kidding,” your lips brushed against his before planting another small kiss on them. “There couldn’t be another man even if they forced me, you’ve really messed up my life Agent Morgan and I’m pretty much obsessed with you too.”
“That better be. We’re exclusive since the day I kissed you in that elevator,” he grumbled. “God I love when you call me baby,” he then sighed happily and the way his mood shifted so quickly made. Your fingers caressed his soft, perfect skin and he mumbled with contentment. You noticed how his pupils were so dilated the chocolate surrounding them had almost disappeared. “Mine, only mine.”
“And you’re mine darling, I’m an FBI agent too and I know a thousand ways to make deaths look like accidents.” He pressed his lips to yours again, kissing you so deeply your heart almost stopped in your chest.
Derek Morgan would be the death of you, you were certain of that.
“Just give me five more minutes and I’ll show you how much we belong to each other princess, how much I look, think and breathe for you only.”
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cerise-on-top · 2 days
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hi :D if you do character x character (with possibly x reader, too) headcanons, may i request nikprice hcs? aghh.. i love them so much, but there's (in my opinion) little content of them compared to other ships.. if you do have to add reader into it too thats okay :) i don't mind poly (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)
but besides that how are you doing? i hope youre doing good :]
Hey there! I'm doing well, thank you! I've actually got five days off next week, which I'm really looking forward to! Plus I get to go to my regular department again too soon enough! But unfortunately, the other apprentice left me with so much work ^^;
NikPrice and NikPrice x Reader
NikPrice:
Although the two of them may be a bit older than some of their peers, they can still be considered idiots, especially when they’re with one another. Sometimes they get weirdly competitive with each other, which can result in either of them getting hurt. Nikolai leads Chimera and Price leads the TF141, both of them sometimes need to show off just how good they are at some things. Nikolai is usually a pretty calm guy, but he does get a bit cocky with Price, so he’ll instigate some competitions. Who can carry the most groceries. Who can find the most dogs and take pictures with them. Who will be favored the most for the week among their boys. It’s just dumb things, and Nikolai does try to cheat his way through most of them, but Price knows him well enough by now to know how he will try to weasel his way into victory. Price usually plays fair and forces Nikolai to do the same. The winner gets bragging rights and that’s about it. Sometimes they poker on who pays for dinner, but they don’t really mess around too much when it comes to more serious stuff. However, they both also compete with each other to show off just how good of a partner they are, even if there’s no need to do that anymore. They can both be proud as peacocks and always need to outdo one another.
Although it may sound stupid, the two of them do spar with each other from time to time. Since they’re about equal in strength it’s actually quite interesting to watch the two of them fight, both have a pretty good technique as well. However, Nikolai has more experience under his belt since he’s quite a bit older than Price. Again, he’s also not above cheating by trying to entice Price with just about anything he can think of. They’re adults, they’re leaders, but they are still morons with each other. Sometimes they fight over the TV remote when Price wants to watch his football game and Nikolai wants to tease him. Price gets mad every time he misses the football game just because he lost to his stupid lover. Nikolai gets a good laugh out of it every time. Although he may love Price more than anyone else, he can be a playful and cocky bastard at times. He makes up for it by taking Price to a real football game in a stadium, though. Can’t enrage the boyfriend too much all the time. Price is usually overjoyed when he does since he gets really into it. There’s nothing better than enjoying some football with Nikolai. Unless Nikolai teases Price about his team losing. In that case the two of them won’t be talking more than necessary for an hour. However, Price goes back to normal after the initial anger of his team losing has worn off.
Nikolai is actually a chef of the master class. He can cook just about anything and make it well at that too. Since he’s been pretty much everywhere at this point he’s learned quite a few recipes from all around the world. He also knows how to use his spices well. Though, his favorite recipes to make are still Russian ones. The two of them cook together often, it relaxes them. Besides, Price gets the privilege of eating Nikolai’s pirozhki before anyone else does. It’s an honor to him since he’s never had anything better in his life. Loves being Nikolai’s taste tester as well. Price isn’t as good a cook as Nikolai, but he does like showing his appreciation for all the good food by cooking something in return. However, his food is kind of bland. It could be worse, but it could also use a lot more spices. Nikolai used to tease Price about that before, but he’s stopped since as Price really does put a lot of effort into cooking for Nikolai. The latter really isn’t so mean to genuinely hurt his boyfriend like that. He does give Price some constructive criticism, though. Offers to help with cooking next time, but both of them know that Nikolai will just take the lead. But in the end, they both really do enjoy cooking with each other, regardless of who makes the main dish. They also get really chatty during it.
NikPrice x Reader
Considering how long they’ve been with each other, they've gotten used to it, but you genuinely cannot cuddle them during summer. You’ll become a sweaty mess and won’t be able to sleep at all since they’re both very warm. Nikolai more so than Price. However, the two of them can cuddle each other just fine since they’re used to warmer nights because of all the missions they’ve gone on. However, it’s pretty nice in winter. They’re two big, burly and warm men who love to make you feel toasty. Price is actually a pretty cuddly guy and Nikolai can be too with the right people. If you’re not on the cuddly side then they’ll settle for giving you a pat on the back every once in a while or just holding your hand. But Price loves touching you and Nikolai. He doesn’t need to do it every single waking moment, but it’s nice to hold your loved ones. Nikolai can go either way, but he’s pretty cuddly with Price. Sometimes the two of them fight over who gets to be the big spoon, other times they’ll just plop into each other’s arms. If you’re shorter than them then you’ll likely get sandwiched between them. If you’re as tall or taller than them then they might ask you to take on the role of big spoon. Sure, they won’t mind it when you’re shorter than them, but they’ll chuckle since you’re just a little backpack.
Both of them will try to teach you how to fight and defend yourself. Even if you’re capable of that already, they’ll teach you something anyway. They’re both military men, they know what they’re talking about. Besides, it’s not as unlikely as one might think that you might get hurt because of them. You need to be able to defend yourself. They’ll take turns teaching you, improving your form and all. They’ll sometimes even deliberately spar in front of you so you could learn something from them fighting with each other. They won’t be as rough with you as they are with each other, especially not if you’re not part of the military, but they’ll be diligent in teaching you either way. If you’re part of the military then they’ll be rougher with you, but not as rough as with each other. Nikolai and Price have known each other for so long, they know where each other’s limits are. You’re the newest addition, so there’s still things they need to get to know. But I can assure you they will take good care of you. They’ll also reward you if you’re doing especially well during your little training lessons. Nikolai tries to bribe you into doing well by offering to cook your favorite meal if you do so.
The two of them actually spoil you rotten, especially if you don’t earn as much money as they do. Nikolai earns even more money than Price, so he has quite a lot to spend. Loves buying you and him all kinds of things. These can range from something useful to just something he saw and thought you might like. Price doesn’t like being indebted to people, so he always tries to buy Nikolai something back, even insisting that he shouldn’t buy him as many things. Nikolai never listens to him in that regard. And since Price buys Nikolai things he has to buy something for you as well. Sometimes it’s just your favorite kind of cake, sometimes it’s some nice and expensive jewelry. It’s always a mystery with Price. You don’t have to feel obligated to buy them something either. You’re more than welcome to if you have the finances to do so, but if you usually barely get by then you really shouldn’t have to. In fact, if you don’t have a lot of money then the two of them will pay for just about anything you need. Clothes, food, other necessities. It doesn’t matter. Together they have more money than they know what to do with anyway. It’s nice to spend it on someone you love and make them happy anyway. Don’t pay them back, they’ll find your bank account and return the money. They love you, let them pamper you like the little royalty you are.
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tsams-confessions · 2 days
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We're coming off anon with this one boys. It's long and I apologize but it's been weighing on my mind for quite some time.
There are three things people tend to know me for in this fandom. My art, my fanfics, or my thread on TSBS server. Said thread is a place where I talk about the psychological aspects of the show, as well as do character analyses and sometimes even analyze entire lore uploads for the kicks and giggles. I'm a psychology major, I also have ASPD. I made the thread so I could talk about Eclipse, who at the time I suspected had the same disorder I do and which was later confirmed less than a week after I made the thread. Since then Ruin has also been confirmed as an ASPD haver, which I personally deeply enjoy. It's fun for me to talk about my disorder and relate it to the show since ASPD is really hard to understand. 99% of people are inherently capable of empathy, and about 2% of that 98% lose that ability during childhood. So it's understandably not a very well-understood disorder. It's also a very scary and dark disorder, and I can say that honestly because I live with it. Due to this fact, it tends to be villainized in media, and I am very refreshed by the fact that TSAMS does a good job of not making their ASPD havers raving lunatics with a thirst for blood. 
Anyways, that's just background information. So far I haven't met very many weirdos about ASPD in this fandom. Almost everyone is very chill with the fact that I am a sociopath and I haven't received a ton of weird comments about it. It's a relief since I deal with a lot of open stigma and harassment irl because I refuse to pretend to be something I'm not. However, there was an instance in my thread when I was actively talking about ASPD, and a new member decided to. . . I don't even know. It was creepy and weird, and really uncomfortable. They basically told me that I'm 'too nice of a person to be a sociopath' and that they could tell that I wasn't a sociopath because they see the good in people. They also said that they were surprised that there are sociopathic people and inferred that sociopaths are pretending, whatever that means. They kept going to keep making weird and stigmatized comments about the disorder, as well as continuing to compliment me in a very unnerving way. I think about it a lot because it was very uncomfortable to be interrupted like that in the middle of talking about ASPD. There was the new mod online and participating in the conversation, but they didn't say anything to the person who was actively making me uncomfortable, even though I expressed such in the chat. 
I deal with a lot of stigma and ableism in my day-to-day life, where people tell me that I can't be a sociopath because of really stupid shit. Like the fact, I get along with people or want to help people in the medical field. Or the time-tried 'but you're a woman' comments. I don't understand why the mod kinda just left me to fend for myself and ignored the person causing issues, and while I don't hold it against them, I do have anxiety about this situation repeating itself in the future. It's not easy to talk about a disorder that the average person could not even dream of understanding, and it's even harder when people who don't know you are trying to tell you that your disorder is fake based on flimsy reasoning. It's really invalidating of the actual hellscape I had to survive to be able to even turn 18, and it rakes up my anxiety to a 10 just at the thought of it. There's not a lot of safe spaces for someone to talk about having a dark disorder, and even less for something as rare and misunderstood as ASPD. It's hard enough as it is being a high-functioning sociopath, and I just needed to rant, I suppose. Haha, could make it a "tl;dr even I get offended sometimes."
Anyway, not dropping names, but it wasn't a private matter. Nor am I upset with the mods, it's just a thing that happened that I think about a lot because it's a very rare thing for me to be offended. Glad that the majority of this fandom that I've interacted with has been willing to hear me out ASPD, but I just worry about having a repeat situation like this. It's a very sad thing to witness in this fandom that talks about inclusivity. We can't pick and choose our disorders, and where there are canon sociopaths in the show one would think the fans would try to be a little more educated on the disorder (not directed towards anyone and I appreciate the people who are willing to ask me things about it instead of making assumptions).
.
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veronicaphoenix · 3 days
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It’s okay if not because I don’t think you’ve written anything like it or similar before but for Into the Abyss of Bad Habits would you maybe consider writing reader who wants to try strapon sex with Noah because she sees how well he takes Oli and wants him to fall apart like that under her? 🫠 Especially since he’s a workaholic and a control freak, to see him just lose all sense of that. There is not a thought in his head. He melts actually melts into the mattress. I just know you would do it justice. Maybe Oli and reader are plotting together as a result of him disappearing into the studio for hours,days, at a time, kind of getting lost in it, ignoring them. Not everyone’s cup of tea though, I know. Feel free to ignore!
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Title: Into the Abyss of Bad Habits — Requested scene
Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Oliver Sykes x Reader | Words: 2k
Tags and trigger warnings: established polyamorous relationship, sexual content (basically what's written in the request, it's not too descriptive, though), use of handscuffs, three people in love exploring the joys of sex, oliver being sort of a sex instructor 🤭, and fluff ✨
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I felt apprehensive at my own idea as I approached the studio on the ground floor of our house, my hand tightly gripping Oliver as he led the way. 
         My heart raced in my chest, skittish at Noah’s reaction to my proposal.  
         He had been consumed by work again in recent days, secluding himself in the studio for hours on end, skipping meals, and feeling perpetually behind schedule, despite evidence to the contrary and his bandmates reminding him that they were good on time for their next releases. Noah’s self-imposed stress often found a way to take control of him, keeping him distant from both Oliver and me. 
         Considering that we hadn’t had much quality time the three of us together since a week, I had had enough time to entertain myself with different scenarios that still hadn’t unfolded in the intimacy of our bedroom. 
         At first, when the idea crossed my mind, I felt somewhat embarrassed and quickly dismissed it. However, it persisted, stubbornly refusing to vacate my thoughts. I missed Noah, and I couldn’t shake the image of Noah unraveling every time Oliver took him, how effortlessly Oliver managed to get him to surrender to him. And in a sudden, unexpected moment, a twinge of jealousy took over me. I knew I could cause that effect on him, too, elicit the same response, to make him come undone when he was with me, whether inside me or in the grasp of my mouth. But now I yearned to get the same level of surrender that Oliver achieved. 
         I was so mortified at my own thoughts and needs that Oliver noticed my distress as soon as he entered the kitchen a few days ago and found me frantically preparing tea in the kitchen.  
         It took him less than five minutes to coax me into telling him what was going through my head, the scenario I’d been picturing the past few days. His reaction? He took my hand, picked the car keys, and drove us to the nearest sex shop, taking advantage of Noah being lost in his music world, which ensured us that he wouldn’t notice our absence.  
         Today, it had been three hours since Noah had disappeared into the studio immediately after breakfast, his absence stretching until late morning. It was Saturday, for God’s sake, and instead of going out for a run and spend some time with Oliver and me in the garden, or in bed, he had decided to remain sequestered in his space, oblivious to the world outside. He hadn’t even finished the bite of the avocado sandwich he’d been devouring for breakfast by the time he stood up, left the plate in the sink, and strode out of the kitchen, leaving me an Oliver gaping at his back as he disappeared down the corridor.  
         I took a deep breath, steeling myself before I knocked on the studio door three hours later.  
         “He’s going to like the idea, don’t get ahead of yourself,” Oliver tried to reassure me.
         “Too late for that,” I replied.
         Oliver squeezed my hand, a hint of laughter escaping him as he didn’t wait for Noah to open the door. With determined strides, Oliver barged into the room, removing Noah’s headphones from his ears. 
         Noah’s immediate protest was cut short by the seriousness in Oliver’s gaze, which conveyed a message of “enough is enough.” Then, with a subtle eyebrow gesture, Oliver directed Noah’s attention towards me, standing a few steps behind him. Noah noticed my tight grip on Oliver’s hand. 
         “What’s wrong?” he inquired, furrowing his brows. 
         “She wants to ask you something,” Oliver said. 
         “Propose, actually,” I corrected, my voice barely above a whisper. 
         “What is it?” He sat in his chair, relaxed yet attentive, hands hanging from the armrests and legs open and inviting. His attention was now fully on me, curiosity piqued. 
         I bit my lip. 
         “I want to fuck you the way Oliver does.”
         After a brief moment of processing, Noah chuckled, his eyes flickering between me and Oliver. 
         “What do you mean?”
         “We’ve picked up a few things,” Oliver explained, “and we’re done waiting for you to come out of this mouse hole. So, get up from that chair, and let’s put some work into that rear, or it’s going to flatten out like a pancake.”
         Noah’s expression shifted to one of disappointment and mild embarrassment. “Your jokes aren’t funny, dude,” he chided.
         “Noah, please?” I interjected, extending my arm toward him, silently conveying what I wanted as I held his gaze. For a moment, he hesitated, but then he swiveled around in the chair, quickly saving his progress on Logic Pro before standing up. His fingers lightly brushed against my chin. 
         “Let’s go upstairs.”
         I could barely contain my excitement, nearly letting out a squeal as we made our way out of the studio.  
         When we made it to the bedroom, Noah and Oliver took of their t-shirts. I wriggled to remove my jeans, keeping my t-shirt and tiny thong on. Oliver then retrieved the strap-on from the bag, and when Noah caught sight of it, his reaction surprised me. 
         Instead of shock or hesitation, he chuckled with amusement, pulling me close to him for a deep, passionate kiss. He pressed his body to mine as I stood on my tiptoes before letting a delicious friction ignite between us that got me wet and him, hard. 
         Unlacing his sweatpants, I pulled them down with his underwear. He climbed onto the bed without needing any direction from Oliver or me. Meanwhile, Oliver assisted me, pulling down my thong and securing the strap-on around my hips.
         “How do you want me, baby?” Noah asked, eyes on me. 
         “Umm,” I glanced uncertainly at Oliver over my shoulder. 
         “Don’t be shy, come on. Tell him what you told me” he encouraged me. 
         “On your back?” I said, moving some hair behind my ear. “I want to see your face.”
         “Missionary? Alright, missionary it is,” Noah agreed. 
         With a contented smile, he settled onto the bed, arranging himself among the pillow on our huge mattress. He relaxed, arms folded behind his head, dick hard. He watched me as Oliver inspected me, his hands still on my hips. 
         “I feel so weird…” I muttered, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment. 
         “Can you feel the weight?” Oliver asked. I nodded. “That’s how it feels to be a man.”
         I rolled my eyes. With a playful slap to my ass, he directed me to get on the bed and position myself between Noah’s legs, which were now bent. 
         Noah clicked his tongue, gesturing toward my chest. “T-shirt and bra off, baby. If you’re going to be on top of me, I want those beautiful tits pressed against my chest.”
         Oliver spared me the hassle by removing the last of my clothes. Moments later, he positioned himself at the foot of the bed, still standing, his bare chest pressed against my back as my hand found their place on Noah’s knees. Uncertainty gripped me as I pondered how to begin. It was pretty obvious, yes, but it was still something new to me. I hadn’t tried this with any of my past lovers.  
         “Don’t worry about anything. I’ll guide you through it,” Oliver whispered in my ear, his hands massaging my shoulders. As I glanced down at Noah’s growing erection and then at the smirk on his face, I felt a surge of nerves. I was damn nervous about this whole situation, and he seemed to be thoroughly entertained by the prospect of what I was about to do. 
         Oliver excused himself briefly, returning with a bottle of lube in hand. He applied some to my hand, instructing me to spread it on Noah, emphasizing how good it would feel if I caressed Noah’s perineum in the process, a sensitive area Noah apparently enjoyed. Following Oliver’s guidance, Noah emitted a low moan, his gaze fixed on me intently as I adjusted to this new task. 
         “Good,” Oliver said. “Guide it with your hands and start pushing in. When you feel ready to continue with your hips, use your hands to stimulate his dick. Meanwhile, I’ll tie his hands to the headboard,” he concluded, already moving to carry out his part of the plan.
         “You had this all planned, didn’t you?” Noah began to remark, but his words faltered when I pressed forward with my hips. 
         My fingers encircled Noah’s erection, applying gentle pressure as I began to move and pump him in a steady rhythm. Oliver secured Noah’s wrists to the headboard before leaning in to grab his jaw and press a hungry kiss to his lips.
         “Such a control freak,” he reprimanded him between clenched teeth while still holding his jaw between his fingers. Noah’s eyes had darkened and his cheeks flushed by the time Oliver had returned to stand behind me.  
         “Does it feel good?” I asked Noah, curious and anxious. 
         “It’s—ugh. Kitt—ah! Fuck.” His wrists pulled at the bindings. I bit my lip, power running through my veins as I kept thrusting into him and watched him abide to me. “It feels amazing…”
         I attempted to go faster, but Oliver stilled my hips, pressing a kiss to my shoulder.
         “You don’t have rush, love. Find your rhythm, go at your own pace. He’s enjoying it either way. Just look at his face. He’s already melting. You’ve got him right where you wanted him, don’t you?” Oliver’s words were soothing, grounding me in the moment. 
         “Yes,” I replied softly, barely whispering. I had already lost myself to the cadence of my hips against Noah and in the harmony of seeing him slowly surrender blissfully to me. Spread out on the bed, hands bound, lips parted, his moans filling the room, he looked utterly beautiful.
         “Keep going,” Oliver encouraged, his hands squeezing my breasts, and his fingers beginning to tease my nipples. My breath hitched. “Just like that. Good girl. You’re going to make him come in no time.”
         In those minutes, I felt once again mesmerized at the connection I had with both, how marvelously well we worked together, how good we were for each other. My inexplicable connection with both Noah and Oliver was a harmonious blend of desire and intimacy that never failed to envelop us in its warmth. I felt fucking blessed.
         “I want Noah to touch me, too,” I suddenly expressed.
         “Alright,” Oliver replied. He was clearly enjoying the moment, guiding us through it all, witnessing how Noah was about to fall apart with me positioned between his legs. 
         It hadn’t been more than ten minutes of Noah being bound to the bed when Oliver released him. Despite his struggle to contain the pleasure, Noah motioned for me to lean on him. Maneuvering our bodies was a bit challenging given how they were connected and our size difference, but Noah managed to grasp my face in his hands and kiss me deeply. 
         With one hand still nestled between us, fingers wrapped around his thickness, I continued to stroke him, feeling the tension building within the body underneath mine until finally, I had him falling apart, his release coating both our stomachs, my mouth swallowing the wail his orgasm elicited. 
         It was dirty, the way I lay on top of him after, but as soon as the euphoria of seeing Noah succumb to ecstasy, totally melting into the mattress because of me, began to settle down, I returned to my knees. 
         Oliver helped me remove the toy, and quick as a cat I crawled back to Noah’s side while Oliver fetched wipes to clean us both. 
         As we cuddled in bed, Noah’s hand caressing my hair and his lips leaving feather-light kisses on my nose and cheeks, his voice filled the room with messages of reassurance, praise, and gratitude. Oliver joined us on the other side of Noah, still wearing his jeans and his erection evident against the fabric. Nevertheless, he looked just as elated as we did. 
         “That was fucking beautiful,” he said.  
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Taglist: @girlfromrussia-universe | @oro-e-diamanti | @lma1986 | @missduffsblog | @bngurngheart | @winterwinchester | @jilliemiw86 | @sorrowsofsilence | @th4t-em0-k1d | @to-be-written | @nonamessblog | @somebodyels3 | @starsomens | @ditto66 | @dominuslunae | @cookiesupplier | @midnight-eternals | @pennysky | @iknownothingpeople | @cncohshit | @ladyveronikawrites | @blackveilomens | @robabankfuckmickeymouse |@kageyasma | @concretedaddy2018 | @silentglassbreak | @thescarlettvvitch | @sammyjoeee | @pathion | @shilohrosechicken | @skulliecadaver-blog | @anameunmusical | @lobolocaamo
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bitchimasnake-sss · 3 hours
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Sleep nonnie again. Is it okay if I go by 🦊🌲 its easier.
Anyways I think it would be a funny scenario if you suggest to the op boys to keep their hands warm by putting them between your thighs. I know some boys would just get a heart attack if you suggest that and get a cute blush
say whAT NOW?? NONNIE HELLO AND WELCOME BACK!! (dm me so that we can be friends ur fic ideas are so out of pocket i love it); also, gonna add ace cause i see many ace thirsties out there ;)
let me warm you up ft. the monster trio//ace!
luffy:
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💗when he agreed to this, he didn't know just what kind of uncharted territory he was entering. he was simply not prepared. you had given him such a soft smile, taking his hands into yours as gingerly, "luff, are you cold?" he had nodded a mindless yes because you were crossing a terribly cold patch of the sea and his hands were freezing. but then held his hand a bit tighter and whispered, "i can warm them up for you. if you like?" he was too drunk on the idea to see the mischievous glint in your eyes and the way you spurred him on with your honey-like voice.
💗so now, he sat in front of you, eyes blown wide and lips trembling as his hands rested between your plush thighs. you had squeezed your thighs shut around his restless hands, claiming that it'll get him warm in little to no time. but god, this was hard (much like something else) and he was trying his best to keep his fingers still and not do anything hasty, like digging it into your soft flesh and relishing in the way your body molded to his touches. or by trailing his hand a bit upwards and seeing the way you react. 💗"luffy??" you called out and captain shook his head as he crawled out of that daze like state, "y-yeah?" "you okay?" you mumbled, voice far too gentle. you fucking minx. "you seem like you're losing your mind." good catch! because he was. luffy abruptly pulled his hands backwards lest he do something that truly made him lose his sanity. he scrambled off of your bed, heading out the door into the chilly deck in long, skitterish steps. "where ya going?" you called after him but he rushed out, yelling after himself, "JUST GONNA WARM UP WITH USSOP INSTEAD BYE" did ussop have better thighs than you? you may never know.
zoro:
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💚zoro was very stupid, very. he was not the smartest tool in the shed when it came to love or crushes or dating or cooking food or social cues or emotional intelligence or— i should stop before this turns into zoro slander [i promise i love him]. but now, the bounty hunter sat with his face flushed and hands tucked between your soft, malleable thighs. he was smarter than this, truly. he knew that when you suggested that he looked cold and you can warm him up, he was supposed to say "fuck no, get out." because having a crush on you was embarrassing enough on it's own. but you had given him such a gut-wrenching, pleading look. your eyes saddened and your lips fell into a pout and oh god, what was he, if not the man who would let you ruin him? 💚ever since he was a child, zoro had always known that he would die a noble swordman's death. he would die fighting, brave, courageous, unafraid. now, he was sure he'd die from the way you squirmed and pressed your thighs shut. "quit movin'" he grunted, looking away from you as your stared at him. but you tucked your arms against your chest and the soft swell of your tits fell forward towards him so deliciously. he must have lost focus and let his gaze travel against your body cause you coughed, drawing his attention back to your face, "quit starin'." he pulled his hands back, ears going red and heart faltering. he should really stop before he gave into the temptations and pinned you to the mattress to— his voice pitched up, "i-i'm going back to my room, bye." "zoro?!" you called after the swordsman as he ran out, "BUT THIS IS YOUR ROOM, WHERE ARE YOU GOING??" [spoiler: he went to chopper and crushed herbs to make medicine. he wanted to get rid of some of that tension but he failed. because he put the pressure too hard and the china dish in which he was crushing the leafy herbs broke, and now chopper was hitting him square in his head, talking about how important it was to be precise in medicine and how zoro will never make a good doctor. "stop hitting me— OW" "what KIND OF A DOCTOR ARE YOU?" "IM A SWORDSMAN!" "YEAH CAUSE YOU CANNOT BE A DOCTOR!"]
sanji:
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💙breath in, breathe out. breathe in, breathe out. breath in, breath out— "sanji?" you asked, a tinge of worry at his almost fainting figure, "are you okay?!" "my love, darling, sugar pie—" the man caught his tongue between his teeth, trying to stop his head from spinning. the floor seem to sway under him, the lights seemed too bright. was he flying or was it the blood rush?? "what did you just ask me?" you look down at the kitchen floor, mumbling with a bashful smile, "if your hands are cold...i can warm them up." his heart quickened as did his fingers. he chopped the bell pepper so hastily that you were sure you saw sparks flying. "and how would you do that?" "you can keep them between my thighs, if you like?" you looked up, "OH MY GOD SANJI YOUR NOSE—" 💙i hate to cut the story short but sanji 100% fainted and you had to catch him before he fell face-forward into the pot with boiling water on the stove. sorry, he gets no bitches :( but you did look after him on the bedside and let him eventually touch your thighs so... idk, a win is a win!!! ["so, is he like dead?" zoro had asked, uninterested, as you hauled the cook's figure outside the kitchen. you were dragging him to his room as the rest of the crew trailed you. they had heard your shriek and came spilling into the kitchen to see what the fuss was about. "did you give him a hug?" nami asked, amused. "hug's too much." ussop snickered, "she probably smiled at him." sanji whipped his head dangerously to glare at them, "i can hear you. and i will be poisoning your food." he looked back at you, "oh don't you worry, im still fainted." he closed his eyes, letting his forehead fall on your shoulder. you smiled to yourself, making a note to warm him up later]
ace:
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🧡truthfully, how do you ask a man made of literal fire if you can "warm him up"??? you must have not thought you plan through because you had stood in his room a bit tipsy, locked the door behind you and asked a boy [who was always shirtless cause he was so warm] that question. "huh?" ace's eyes widened in pleasant surprise. he stood up to walk towards you, "what is that about? you wanna warm me up?" "NO!" you bit your cheek when you realized the implications of your words, "i was joking, obviously." "awh, i do love when you humor me." he quipped, "it's kinda cute." "shut up." you glared at him but he gave you an earnest smile back, "if you're cold, you could have just told me." he set his finger ablaze, acting suave, "see, i can warm you up." "you wanna set me on fire?" you seethed. "no?!" "why did you light your fingers on fire?!" "YOU ASKED A MAN MADE OF FIRE IF YOU CAN WARM HIM UP? DONT ASK ME QUESTIONS?!" "i'm drunk" you mumbled. after a beat you looked down at the floor, "and... i'm kinda cold." portagas d. ace just smiled, shrugging in mock nonchalance, "we can cuddle, if you like. i've been told i'm a pretty great heater." you laughed, "hah, hotshot." ace gave you a wicked grin, "how drunk are you?" "not nearly enough." just saying, portagas d ace was better than just a "pretty great heater." he was a pretty great fu-
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a/n: i love writing stupid things so much. it makes me so happy because i'm a stupid little girl giggling and typing on her laptop when she should be doing work. tagging the ever lovelies: @bokutosbiceps (resident luffy enjoyer) and @help-i-lost-my-sock (resident ace enjoyer). if you wanna be added to the tag list, please let me know (//tell me your preferences and i'd tag you in those fics)!
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in1-nutshell · 2 days
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Maxima slice of life
SFW, Platonic, Familial, Cybertronain reader
TFP
The kids wanted a sleep over at the base.
It took weeks of begging and pestering, mainly for Ratchet’s part in it.
Ratchet, being the softy he was, eventually gave the green light for the sleepover.
The bots themselves were curious on how these ‘sleepovers’ worked.
Bumblebee, Maxima, and Smokescreen were the most knowledgeable from the group having seen more human films with depictions of sleepovers.
The bots did join in, but it was three younger bots who mainly joined in the little games the kids had.
Monopoly was now banned from the base.
“You cheat! How dare you take the last railroad!”--Miko
“You snooze you lose Miko.”--Jack
“You knew I wanted that!”--Miko
“Think of it as pay back for money I had to pay for your house.”--Jack
“That’s it! I’m going to take your house and I’m taking Maxima and Smokescreen with me!”--Miko
“Fine! I’ll take Bee and Raf then!”--Jack
“I’ll see you in court!”--Miko
Maxima carefully reaching for the board.
“How about we play something else?”--Maxima
Eventually everyone had gone to sleep.
Except Maxima.
She couldn’t sleep for some reason. Tossing and turning in her berth she eventually gave up and went to the main room.
Maybe a midnight drive around would do her good.
She walked into the main room only to spot Raf wide awake on his laptop.
“Raf?”--Maxima
Raf jumps a bit and looks at Maxima.
“Maxima? What are you doing up?”--Raf
“I could ask the same thing. I’m pretty sure humans need more than 3 hours of sleep Raf.”--Maxima
Raf nods a bit before shyly replying.
“I can’t sleep.”--Raf
Maxima quietly walks up to him.
Raf wrapped his yellow blanket a bit closer to his body.
“Nightmares?”--Maxima
“No, just can’t sleep.”--Raf
Maxima nods in understanding.
“Same here. I was actually going to head to the roof for a bit, you want to join?”--Maxima
Raf nods his head a bit tightening his grip on the blanket again.
Maxima carefully scoops Raf up, mindful of the blanket, and quietly walked to the elevator.
Once they reach the top, she walks to her spot and lays down on the rocky surface, and places Raf Burrito in her subspace chassis.
There were still some stars in the sky.
The two begin to talk about life and retell stories.
“Then there was that one time I tried following Orion to the arena—”--Maxima
“Orion? Like Orion Pax?”--Raf
“Yeah, that was also the day I met Megatronus.”--Maxima
“You met Megatron!”--raf
“He was known as Megatronus at that time. Completely different mech than the one you know now.”--Maxima
“Really? I heard from Ratchet that he was a ruthless gladiator and was almost like a brother to Optimus.”--Raf
“He was ruthless in the arena… but to me… he was just my Uncle Megatronus, trying to do his best to help other bots around.”--Maxima
“…Do you miss them?”--Raf
Maxima pauses a bit.
“Miss who?”--Maxima
“Megatronus and Orion. Do you miss them?”--Raf
“… I miss how things were a bit simpler before the war, everyone does to an extent.”--Maxima
Raf nods, still a bit curious why Maxima avoided answering the question.
“But enough of that sappy stuff. Miko and I found some music the other day, I think you’d like some of these songs.”--Maxima
Raf slowly falls asleep on her chassis after a few minutes of the softer music playing.
Maxima opens her subspace in her chassis and puts him in there while keeping the hatch open.
She stays there on her back for a bit longer thinking about Orion Pax and the memories they shared together before the war started.
A few tears spilled as dawn was fast approaching on the horizon.
Carefully, Maxima gets up, to not disturb Raf, and goes back down to the base.
She exits the elevator seeing Ratchet and Optimus walking into the main room.
They must have wanted to get in the peace and quiet of the day before everyone else woke up.
Ratchet gave her a pointed look while Optimus gave her a questioning one.
She makes a shushing motion pointing at Raf in her subspace.
The two other mech nod as Maxima gently places the smaller human back in his place with the others.
She yawns a bit, venting softly.
Tenses a bit feeling someone pick her up and placing her on their back.
Optimus has her and pulls her into a piggyback ride back to her room.
“Optimus? You don’t need to do this.”--Maxima
He looks over at his sparkling with sleep in her optics.
“Really its fine I can get to my room—"--Maxima
Optimus only tightens his grip a little and walks to her room.
Maxima looks over at Ratchet for help.
He just smiles a bit before going back to work.
“Traitor.”—Maxima
Maxima lays her helm on Optimus’s neck cables and vents softly accepting defeat.
Optimus reaches the door to only then realize that Maxima had fallen asleep on his back.
“Some things do not change with you Little one.”—Optimus
He opens the door and makes his way to the berth where he gently places her down.
The Prime gently ran his digit on his sparklings helm like he did as Orion Pax eons ago.
Maxima lets a small smile slip in her sleep.
“Rest well Little one.”—Optimus
He gets up and softly closes the door before returning to the main room.
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corfisers · 5 months
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i really need to finish this one day
#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully#anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason#incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up#you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot#he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him#in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened.#you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from#you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help?#doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance#proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long#yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him#yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that#and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do”#“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem”#(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.)#he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway#but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again.#something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh#for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been#which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad#but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence?#she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”.#wips tag
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oatbugs · 12 days
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oh my god ! haha . anyway a bit buzzed perhaps. anyway here's what happened on the date
#at some point i took the earrings off. the metal clanging was screaming their name too loud and it#was 6 knives to the throat and he confirmed it so. here's the kicker. you can be taught a lot and you can have their hands on your thighs#and you can kiss them but even if they pray even if they tell you about the bible looking into you like really they lost what they believed#in a pennsylvania countryside catholic schools with a protestant family since joining the london school of economics#even if they pray for you to stay the whole way even though their hair was softer than hers you think of her and he thinks of someone else#and be tells you none of it will make sense. they smile and they say what a shame you might miss the train but they hold onto you#the entirety of you - like a religion or a polite insistence or something to keep.#you learned they were used to losing everyone they felt bound to love. they said they got really good at letting go. you were told#you think he's being epistemologically#irresponsible and he tells you he carries a massive task. he tells you the responsibility is monumental#and he feels responsible for defining responsibility. he shows you songs and his poetry. my eyes feel on fire.#she doesnt know this. this is marylebone. the next station is edgeware road. everyone here looks happy and high and clear of the doors.#he says tell me when you get to the station and very especially tell me if you don't. the next station is paddington. please mind the gap#between the train and the platform. you say this to him. he says i minds the gap between you and i. i mind it so much that i need you to#come back. he says this because you kissed him briefly but you kissed him well. she says you're a good kisser but he says you have him#stunned. he asks you who decides the truth. he tells you you decide the truth without his mouth. you're fast enough to make it there before#the wheels do. this world is lit by glass and light and people with a pact to fall in love with the abstractions more than each other.#he tells you to be committed to your various intangible loves more than anyone. you both have to be. they love each other anyway.#i was supposed to find a persian poetry book with her on our fourth date except she was hours late. i found it with him. he didnt give up#he should be perfect and i should really like him.
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ozcarma · 2 months
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Trying to watch 999 let’s plays is such hell to me - NO ONE PLAYS THE GAME RIGHT just shutupshutupshutupshutup and play the game!! Stop trying to make jokes!!!!
I’m too autistic for this, I cannot bear hearing let’s players doing their own voice acting when I adore the game’s VAs too much. Everyone always fucks up Santa’s and Lotus’s voices especially.
I understand the draw of Let’s Plays are largely the people playing them who have gained their own following, but as someone who just loves the game I don’t wanna hear ur stupid banter 💥💥💥 play the game and be intrigued but not TOO intrigued because give it a fuckin minute it’ll explain what’s going on 🙄‼️
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#zero escape#999#my opinion is that the let’s plays that are alright are half-blind play thrus where one person is knowledgeable about everything#and can keep the blind one on track and properly guide their curiousity#I also lose my MIND when people get stuck on the puzzles on this ridiculously easy game#(<- says the person who has played it numerous times and knows all the solutions by heart)#like you IDIOT just do THIS#(<- also the person who still has to look up the answer to the box puzzle behind door 6)#and don’t get me started on when the LPers hate Lotus#don’t get me wrong - disliking her especially when u get to the hospital room is Good and Correct as it’s what the writing is leading you to#but some LPers get so misogynistic about it I have to immediately tap out cuz its too much#also another reason why I don’t like when they don’t use the in-game voice acting#is cuz so many people play Junpei as Basic Anime Protag when Evan Smith’s voice acting gives him SO much character#and Junpei is my favorite >:(#I have many more gripes but that’s enough for now#I just want everyone to experience how great this game is but ONLY in the way I LIKE#I know I sound so whiny and entitled but please tell me someone else relates#the urge I get to just make a whole channel dedicated to 999 play thrus where I just play the game again and again with a different friend#would they all be identical to each other because I would be directing them all the same?#yes. but what greater autistic joy is that (for me)#I never thought the Joseph Anderson streams would be my favorite playthrus cuz I hated them too at first#but his dynamic with chat and consistent amusement and enjoyment of the game is very nice and soothing
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holyluvr · 8 months
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Getting a good hit of indica that’s a little stronger than vapes I had last time after I ran out of my indica is Hallelujah Praise The LORD and that kid with ADHD
#…#I need indica or antipsychotics both to function. an upper and a downer of some sorts. stimulate then depress. over and over again. daily.#TBH one of the dreams/goals that I still haven’t let myself let go of despite knowing the stats and likelihoods of the outcomes….#well anyway one of those dreams is to somehow fix this. to meet a doctor who has a treatment plan or life change idea that works on the drug#dependency / the ‘maybe’ acquired brain injury issues.#the ‘is this idiopathic narcolepsy or is this ABI from drs or would you consider this probable narcolepsy from ABI from drs or?’ issues.#the ‘it’s harder to put together a clear understanding of your health overall’ comments followed by silence bc they don’t need to say it lol#it’s hard because no one has known what my health ‘should’ be like. know one has any labs without me on psychotropic medication combos.#they have partial proof from brain scans for the conclusion that my brain was just .fried to deal with me/make me easy and good. didn’t work#and they don’t even need proof to know that medication combos in their own profession shouldn’t be used together or are only used together#in extreme cases with no options left that they immediately fucking jumped into and were lucky I didn’t DIE so many times but fuck yeah#now my brain hurts and I’m not how I was beforehand but don’t rlly know why or how to express it#and I feel alone there and then I have bitch ass doctors telling me to Just Stop The Meds For A Fee Weeks :-)! …..Dr u have no idea huh do u#a few weeks? give me 3 days before I’m having a psychotic episode that’s severe enough to warrant police arrest or 911 called for me.#that’s thousands of dollars in a legal psychiatric hold. and that’s if someone catches the signs on time before I potentially harm myself or#like yeah no I’m sorry doc but i can’t just Simply Stop or Substitute anti-anxiety drugs when I’ve had them holding me together b4 puberty.#anyway I’m still. hoping I’ll find some info somewhere or stories and people like me who figured something out or anything idk#because my medical testing is interfered by medications that I cannot stop taking (mainly benzodiazepines) without losing my mind now. bad.
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shshshshshowrunner · 9 months
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Wish I could taste without the, like, special ingredients.
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I ran out of tags. Most of this post is in the tags and I ran out of tags. Apparently the limit is 30. Worst part is I wasn't done.
#saw a video where they deep fried some chocolate eggs and im losing my mind.#unwilling to wake anyone up right now alors je peut pas even voir mes amis le goût#mes dieux they look good.#im almost tempted to get up and cook. i mean. fight gnomes. for xigbar.#okay i am tempted.#but#no guarantee when he'll wake up and if what i make becomes cold and not good I will DIE i cannot kill the part of me#that dies of embarrassment if my cooking is subpar or my house is unclean. if xigbar doesnt like what i make i WILL be killing myself#goodnight world forever i made something contrary to his taste.#i need to work on that i know i do. but#hm#and he said he didnt really have a sweet tooth :( who am i going to feed these eggs to.#i would bother arme but she needs her space I know she does.#I can't imagine a simple desert like this appealing to the narrator.#so no xigbar arme or narrator. thats everyone in the arena#i dont want to bother MoM ive bothered him enough recently.#um. hm.#would Kayne like them? he seems to like sweet things. fundip is sweet right? he put some on his popcorn when I stayed over#he even let me eat some (though I couldn't taste)#hm.#then again i feel like that would fall under Bothering MoM. showing up in the woods under the treehouse yelling#'KAAAAAAYYYNNNEEEEE. DO YOU WANT A DEEPFRIED CADBURY CREAM EGG. OR SEVERAL. I MADE THEM JUST NOWWW'#yeah that would bother him#and also risk waking riri which i do NOT want to do i know how babies are.#fuck.#i cant go to the cabin to bother paph even if he Was awake#not sure if arthur would like these either. and i think hes asleep to. and we're not close enough for me to just hand him food I dont think#gods. kayne is really the best option here but i cant even. damn it.#and stanley and sora are both gone. gone SWEEPING 🧹🧹 THE BRACKET 🧹🧹 GET REKT EVERYONE ELSE#AS they deserve
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mars-ipan · 1 year
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lmk if this is fucked up (hear me out) but i’ve been wanting an excuse to psychologically torment someone for years (HEAR ME OUT)
#OBVIOUSLY i don’t do it because i’m not fucking evil#but ohhh my god if someone ever did something horribke enough to warrant it???#i would be sooooo fucking manipulative. like genuinely i have the power for it.#i’m very good at analyzing people and i’m very good at subtly suggesting things#i need to make this clear I DO NOT DO THIS. i simply fantasize about doing it to bad people#i’m not talking like making people hate themselves type of manipulation btw#i’m talking like making people go fucking insane type of stuff. psychological warfare#i would never do this irl. i’ve never met anyone who’s deserved something like that#but ohhhhh my god i want to BAD to haunt someone’s dreams. i want to be someone’s worst fucking nightmare#i know i sound like an edgy 13yo rn but like i’m being 100% genuine#i fully believe that i’m good enough at manipulation and reading people that i would be able to find and push all the right buttons#in someone’s head to make them fully lose their minds#and like i said i would NEVER actually do it. because it’s like evil to do that to people#but oh my goddddd part of me wants to soooo fucking bad#not sure how much of this desire is intrusive. obvi i don’t want to hurt people#but i do want to bring horrible people endless psychological distress#it’s just that there’s never a situation where doing that is even remotely okay#at least that i’ve been in#and i like don’t hold grudges so even if someone completely fucked me over i probably’d just get over it#but oooooouh. the primal desire to make someone completely question their reality. it is like visceral#‘mars i cannot see you willingly manipulating anyone’ and that’s why i’m fucking good at it.#i don’t do it bc i prefer being trusted to being an asshole. and also it’s an awful thing to do#but oh my GODDD it would be so cathartic.#idk if i’ve conveyed this thought exactly right. but know that i love fantasizing about striking dread into the hearts of cruel people#the amt of daydreams i’ve had where i psychologically torment billionaires is well into the double digits
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