luceafarul-de-dimineata
Lucifer brainrot
18 years old
they/them
Masterlist : https://www.tumblr.com/luceafarul-de-dimineata/746757926875774977/masterlist?source=share
100 posts
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Hi, I apologize if I'm being annoying but I love your shipping au and I was thinking of something and wanted to tell you
What if once the shipp that is most trending is MC x the worst possible noble of that country. Like, people notice mc has a lot of chemistry with glasya or bimet and instead of a king there is now a whole thread talking about how mc should stay with the noble instead of the king? I think it would be really funny
Oh, I love this. Mc that has terrible taste in men is so real.
*Glasylabolas posts a photo of him kissing Mc*
Glasylabolas: Task failed succesfully
Foras: I'm glad you like the dead so much because there's no way you're going to keep on living after this
Barbatos: I'm preparing the candles
Glasylabolas: It's fineeeeee I made it so only people that follow me can see it. His majesty Leviathan doesn't follow anyone.
Dantalian: BROOOOOOOO THIS IS SO COOOOOOL
Glasylabolas: I know, right? The child of Solomon is my significant other now. Everyone else can go cry about it.
Dantalian: You'll be sharing with your bestie, right
Dantalian: 🥹👉👈
Glasylabolas: Of course
Dantalian: Yepeeeee
Glasylabolas: Tell Ronové to check his dms
Dantalian: He's busy. We're in the middle of a battle
Glasylabolas: I don't care, I want to see if he has time in his scheduel for our threesome
Dantalian: wait... I thought I was your bestie!
Glasylabolas: I have many besties, Dantalian
Glasylabolas: Most of them from Abaddon. You people trully understand me
Dantalian: It's fine. Wanting to fuck corpses is tame. Just yesterday someone died from getting fucked by a horse.
Glasylabolas: Crazy
Dantalian: Can I have more pics with you and Mc? I want to make an edit
Glasylabolas: Absolutely, just send it to me directly
Dantalian: sure sure
*Glasylabolas posted 10 more photos*
Dantalian: wiat ill doiy when i grt homt
Glasylabolas: Are you having a stroke?
Dantalian: m typng wjth m feert
Glasylabolas: Pop off
5 hours later
*Dantalian posted an edit*
Dantalian: It's done!
Glasylabolas: This is great! Though why is the song "Be my bad boy"
Dantalian: Because you're the bad boy and Mc is the badass dom
Glasylabolas: They haven't dommed yet
Dantalian: yet
Gamigin: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS??????
Paimon: It's not even photoshopped... Glasy, how could you?!
Eligos: Nooooooo out of all the bad decisions, Mc made the worst one
Amon: I think I just lost my appatite for the next century
Dantalian: Come on, guys, it's not that bad!
Amon: @Gamigin are there any free beds in Paradise Lost? I think I need emergency medical attention
Gamigin: I'll send Buer over
Amon: Thx
Eligos: This is fucking outragous
Paimon: My main question is how Glasy is still alive
Foras: @Glasylabolas I think you should brace yourself
Gamigin: What happened?
Barbatos: Hi guys!!!! So, his handsome majesty Leviathan took care of everything. His last words were "This is hot"
Gamigin: Is he dead?
Paimon: Good
Dantalian: He was a good devil.
Dantalian:
youtube
Dantalian: Stay strong, brothers
Foras: He's not dead, just unconcious
Paimon: Bumeeeer
*This forum has been terminated at the request of his majesty Leviathan*
#whb#what in hell is bad#whb glasylabolas#whb foras#whb barbatos#whb leviathan#whb dantalian#whb eligos#whb paimon#whb amon#whb gamigin#shipper au#whb x reader
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mc who ships the kings with their nobles (its an excuse for leviforas)
Mc that ships the shippers with their kings
Overall, I think none of them would think much of it because all the nobles seem to have a crush on their kings. They would mind if you started losing interest in their king because you percieve them to be in a relationship.
Paimon would, like always, be the chiller one about this whole thing. While he sometimes gets angry at his fellow shippers, he'll never get angry at you unless you do something really really stupid. Shipping him with Satan is just kind of silly in his view. He might humor you a bit, but he'll shortly cut all your hopes when he says that he has no romantic feelings for Satan and never will. Doesn't want to give you too much false hope, he just wishes you'll put your sights on what really matters.
Eligos would be dumpfounded. The whole interaction was like
Eligos: Mc! I'm so glad I've found you! I've prepared a nice bow for you to wear on your stroll with his majesty Mammon.
Mc: I'm sure Mammon likes ribbons a lot. I mean, with how close the two of you are... he sure has a thing for small cute things.
Eligos: Oh, he totally does! That's why I will make you the cutest being in Hell... behind me, of course.
Mc: No, don't worry. I don't want to tempt your man.
Eligos: My... what?
Mc: Come on, it's obvious that you and Mammon have athing for eachother. The way he pets your head for longer than anyone else, the way he always calls you his. I bet you have a full collection on lingerie just for him.
Eligos: I do, but no! No no no! I'm not in love with his majesty Mammon! Never!
Mc: First stage, denile
Eligos: First stage of WHAT?!?!?
Congratulation, you just broke Eligos' brain and made him take an emergency trip to Paradise Lost to get checked for whatever illness you implyied he had.
Foras gasps when he hears that and covers your mouth.
Foras: Mc, do you like breathing?
Mc nods
Foras: Good, then stop saying stuff like that. He always listens
Leviathan: Is this what you two are doing instead of sorting paperwork? The only reasons I allowed you two to stay together was because you're incompetent and Foras keeps getting distrected on his phone. I would strangle you both, but you're into it, you filth.
Foras: I apologise, great, powerful, handsome Leviathan for my wrong doings
Mc: I'm adding degredation to my newest fic
Leviathan: Don't flatter yourself a writer, I would never degrade Foras. He actually has qualities to speak of.
Foras: (I wish he degarded me as well)
Sorry, I've been too Leviathan possitive on my blog lately, I have to spread the hate
Amon would choke on his own spit. On one hand, hot, yes, he does want to get revaged by his king. On the other hand, that would be illegal because you're already with him. Amon is delusional, partly because he's starving, partly because that's just how he is. He would try to talk you out of it out of genuioun fear that he is breaking the law.
Gamigin would be repulsed. Lucifer is his brother, why would you ship him with his sibling? Please stop, he's really uncomfortable by the whole idea.
Mc: You know, I've been thinking about you and Lucifer recently
Gamigin: Really?! What about?
Mc: You'd look lovely together. He's so nice to you, I bet he likes you well enough in bed.
Gamigin.exe stopped working
Marbas: You need to leave!
#whb#what in hell is bad#shipper au#whb paimon#whb eligos#whb foras#whb amon#whb gamigin#whb leviathan
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Ok, I get Belphegor ignoring them since he sleeps 24/7. But what the fuck did they do to Asmodeus to make him seen them.
If I were to take this seriously I would speculate that Asmodeus was left out of their funky little friend group when he was younger. Since we know that the kings are all about the same age, and the main four (Satan, Mammon, Leviathan and Beelzebub) were friends, maybe they didn't play with Asmodeus for whatever reason. And now he resents them. Maleficent wanna be.
If I'm shitposting, then I think that Asmodeus is having a messy custody battle for the Unholycs and he's too busy with that to give a shit about the war.
Anyways, this is very interesting and not the first time we got the impression that there is some bad blood between Asmodeus and the other kings. I can't wait to meet my bastard boy and see his petty drama with the others.
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Expanding on my previous post, I think having to take care of child of the enemy would be such a wonderful deconstruction of Leviathan's character.
Leviathan's main motivation for everything he does is to protect the future of Hell, to protect the children and avange the ones that were lost in the experiments. He eliminates anything that might be dangerous for Hell because if there's even a 1% chance of someone suffering he would blame himself for it. He wants to go find the seed of the fruir of knowledge even though he knows it's a dangerous journey, just because it might save his subjects.
Also, Leviathan (as far as we know) has the most personal reason to hate angels. He's seen them at their cruelest and they've always been a traumatic force in his life. While the other kings got to have more peaceful childhoods (again, we don't know if they were abused, I'm just going off what we know) Leviathan never had that priveledge. Even before the war he was abused by them, and now, in his adulthood, he still can't move on because he sees his subjects being killed and tortured by the same people that abused him.
I think that out of all the characters, Leviathan would be the most... interesting father. Don't get me wrong, he won't be bad, but the sort of abuse that Leviathan had to go through changes you in ways you might never expect. He loves kids, the main reason he fights this war is to make sure the children in Hell get a childhood that isn't characterised primarly by war and death. But if he had to deal with a child 1 on 1 for long stretches of time...
He'll probably be extremely overprotective of them, going by the same rule of 1% change of danger = death. The way most parenting works, especially from people that were abused in their childhoods, is that of trying to protect the child from the trauma they experienced. I doupt Leviathan would even let angels look at his kid, or anyone that he percieves as dangerous for that matter.
We also see in the Orias event that Leviathan can be very nice to the people he likes, and I think that it would be the same for his kid. It would be something like
Leviathan strangling MC: I need to kill you, MC, for your life is bringing certain doom amoungst my people
Levi's kid: Dad, can you help me with my algebra?
Leviathan dropping MC to the ground: Yes, sweetheart, what is it? Do you want us to repeat your multiplications table?
Tl;dr of this post is - stop saying Leviathan would be a shit dad. He'll be overprotective of his kid, but he'll never in a million years hurt a child
#whb#what in hell is bad#whb leviathan#I can't believe that my first character analysis is on one of my least favorite characters#and one of my least favorite tropes#let's just throw a kid into the mix#I just think that childhood is the most important thing to Levi's character#lamenting that he never had a childhood#hating the people that took away his childhood#and doing everything in his power to protect other people's childhoods from being like his#if only mc was an actual character in the game and I could enjoy the main story
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Would Leviathan be nice to a young angel???
On one hand, angel. On the other hand, child.
I think he would at most shoo them back to Heaven, but what if... what if the angel kid gets attached to Levi? He can't kill a kid! He'll hate himself for it even if the kid's an angel.
The drama, the angst, the fluff, the paternal relationship!
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Mc that wants a secret relationship
This is from an ask/request from @notemejellyfish (tagging so they'll see it sooner). I went in another direction than their headcanons on the same topic, but that's not to say that theirs aren't good. They're a great writer, check them out.
Satan
He understands it
Kicks everyone that tryes to make your relationship public
He would still like if he could brag to Mammon about his relationship with you. Just Mammon, he swears.
Would take away the phone of anyone that ships you with anyone
He preferes smaller scale dates anyways, so just cuddling with you while you both talk about random subjects works just fine for him
He cares deeply about you so he'll always keep your prefrences in mind
Mammon
Why though?
That's his only thought
Don't get him wrong, your his master, he'll do anything you tell him to without complaints
But he wants to know if something is bothering you about being seen with him in public
He can't have his master feeling self-concious, now can he
After you explain that it's due to all the shipping he can't help but laugh
Really? That's easy to fix
Tartaros is the main internet provider in Hell, so he'll ask you if you want all the shipping forums to get removed
He'll try to keep the relationship a secret no matter your answer to the previous question
He's never been in one before and he always wants to try out something new. The feeling of adrenaline at potentially getting caught makes him shudder and he's grateful you gave it to him
Leviathan
Omg finally
The shipping was getting on his nerves, probably more than it did to you
He's so glad you finally made a smart decision, the second in your whole life (the first was dating him)
Since the monarchies in whb are absolute, he bans the use of any tag that includes your name from Hades
Sends a petition to do the same in the other countries and I think only Avisos would sign it (not only is it illegal to steal people's love there, but Bael had enough war threats sent his way from Hades)
He was planing on having a secret, low-scale relationship with you in the first place, so he's the happiest about this change
Beelzebub
He takes this as an invitation
Oh, you want the relationship to be secret?
He can make that fun
He'll make out with you in changing rooms, grope you at the back of the club, pin you to a wall in a small alley and sniff you
He likes the danger of potentially getting caught
Also, just because your relationship isn't public doesn't mean that he won't glare down anyone that gets too close to you
Just because you don't want the internet to know about it doesn't mean that he'll be less passionate and protective of you
Whenever you're out on dates he'll use his power to discuise the two of you, that way, he can be as open with his affection as he likes
He's one of the few that minds the secrecy of your relationship, but he mostly sees it as a new challange
Lucifer
Ok
He'll curse all cameras to shatter when taking a photo or recording of you
It's simple and affective
Gives Gamigin some lectures on how to lie and there's that
Everyone in Paradise Lost might know that you're dating Lucifer, but they're not allowed to say anything about it
And, since no devil would go to Paradise Lost willingly, there's no chance of the secret getting out
He's probably the safest to have a secret relationship with
Nobody in the other countries likes him enough to call for chit-chat, so even if you were in a regular relationship people would still be surprised when they heard you two were dating
#whb#what in hell is bad#shipper au#whb satan#whb mammon#whb leviathan#whb beelzebub#whb lucifer#whb x reader#sorry for the hiatus
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ngl kinda curious what happens if mc gets shipped with one of the nobles more often than the kings instead?
You know the AO3 ship popularity chart? Let's say they did one of those for the "child of Solomon" fandom.
Mod Jjok: The most popular ship with Mc for this month is... Mc x Sitri! With over 20k words in the longest running fanfiction on the ship reaching peak popularity in the middle of the month!
Dantalian: Sitri? Isn't that his majesty Satan's blood bag?
Glasylabolas: It turns out he has a name.
Paimon: I think this must be mistakeeeeen. I just recently wrote in collaboration with Astaroth a 25k words fanfic about Mc x Satan
Eligos: Oh, I mass-reported that one. I would apologise about that, but demons can't lie
Paimon: You're so sillyyyyy
Paimon: You just lost cuteness session priveledgessss
Eligos: :'(
Eligos: It was for the greater good of Tartaros
Bimet: Very noble of you, Eligos
Dantalian: Bimet! You fucking bitch, where's my MC body pillow????
Eligos: @Dantalian please take this in private we don't vibe with this negative energy here
Dantalian: Speak for yourself, I vibe with it!
Gamigin: Guys, what happened????? I was asleep, it's like 5 AM in here.
Gamigin: HOLY FUCK
Gamigin: How did Sitri of all people win????
Paimon: I mean, he's not that baaaaaaad
Gamigin: 20k words isn't even that long! How?!
Gamigin: I think we all have to come together to break the two up
Gamigin: Sitri is a common enemy and we shall stop him!
Dantalian: I'm sharpening my knife as we speak.
Gamigin: His Majesty Lucifer said I'm not allowed to leave Paradise Lost :'(
Dantalian: And?
Gamigin: And ... what?
Dantalian: He's not your dad! Even if he was, you don't have to listen to him. Do you think I listen to everything his majesty Asmodeus tells me to do? No. He may be my dad and my king, but I am in control of my own future.
Glasylabolas: Preach brother, preach
Gamigin: But I don't want to go against Lucifer's orders
Dantalian: Pussy
Glasylabolas: Pussy
Dantalian: First! Suck it old man!
Gamigin: Wait, doesn't Paimon live in the same country as Sitri?????
Gamigin: @Paimon, dearest, could you please kill Sitri for us? At least tranquillise him or something. Make sure he doesn't move anymore.
Paimon: I'm not murdering Sitri over thisssss
Paimon: I'll just ask him if it's true he's dating Mccccc
Dantalian: I think we should vote on Sitri's fate
Glasylabolas: Absolutely. I am for democracy.
Dantalian: Knife or gun death?
Glasylabolas: I prefere knife. Gun's make everything messier. How am I supposed to get arroused by a pile of guts?
Dantalian: Ask Ronové or Phenix and they'll tell you
Dantalian: I once saw Ronové remove an angel's intenstines and fucking them
Eligos: That's why nobody wants to visit Abaddon.
Dantalian: In his defence, it was kind of hot
Glasylabolas: I can imagine
Glasylabolas: I should call Ronové again...
Dantalian: He charges for one night stands now cause Abaddon lost its health care recently
Gamigin: Yeah, Morax told me about how you started getting curious about his eye hole.
Dantalian: I don't even blame Ronové for that one. I'm also curious what happens if you cum down someone's eye socket.
Paimon: Ok guyssssss
Paimon: I talked with himmmm
Paimon: It turns out that he just had a lot of black tea recently and wrote 20k words in a dayyyyy
Paimon: And a lot of people read it because Asteroth recomended it on his bloggggg
Dantalian: ah, yeah, shipping
Dantalian: Asmodeus x Mc for the win
Eligos: In your dreams
Dantalian: Yes. I do dream about that often.
Dantalian: I don't even know why y'all care so much for Mc's sex life
Dantalian: Having sex with only one partner is boring
Gamigin: Keep your shitty opinions to yourself.
Dantalian: Only if you make me
Eligos: I'm going to mass report it
Gamigin: I already did <3
Sitri: All of you are so mean
[Mod Jjok stopped comments on this post]
#whb#what in hell is bad#whb gamigin#whb paimon#whb eligos#whb glasylabolas#whb dantalian#whb bimet#whb sitri#shipper au
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În Teambuilding
Marbas holding a card that says Jesus: A murit pentru pacatele noastre
Buer: Vadim. Vadim Tudor. Corneliu Vadim Tudor!
#romanisme#whb#what in hell is bad#whb marbas#whb buer#teambuilding#I'm not translating this#this is just for my romanian girlies
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Waking up is never easy, luckly there was someone willing to help today. Jjok tackled your face.
Jjok: Sibling Mc! Good morning, how are you feeling?
Mc: What?
You were still grumpy from being woken up so suddently, but you rub the sleep out of your eyes and look at the little devil in your bed. Jjok was holding a black letter wrapped in a satin ribbon up to your face. "It's from His Majesty Lucifer." He was quick to answer the question in your mind. Opening it grants you a message written in a language you weren't familiar with, but still somehow understood.
"Dear Mc,
I would like us to continue bonding even after you have deemed me a suitable mate for you. Please meet with me at 12 PULANT ( Paradise Universal Latitudinal Abriviated Time) so we may discuss our arrangement further."
Even though he had no signiture, you could tell that it was Lucifer that wrote that letter to you. You recently decided to ask him to be your boyfriend and he accepted to your surprise. It was almost sweet to see him asking you out like that. You put the letter on your nightstand and laugh happily.
Jjok: You should get ready for His Majesty Lucifer. It's almost 12 in Paradise Lost and His Majesty doesn't like waiting.
You put on your prettiest clothes and ask Jjok to teleport you to the foreign land. Before your vision returns to you, you get tackle hugged by Gamigin. He was always the most excited about your presence and now that you were dating Lucifer, he considered you to be part of the familly.
Gamigin: MC! Oh, I see you're all good! You look stunning today! Did you use a new deodorant today, or maybe a new shampoo?
Marbas: Gamigin... Leave the poor human alone.
Gamigin: How can I? They're our new sibling! Aren't you guys excited as well?!
Mc: It's fine, Gamigin gives great hugs.
Gamigin: Really? You love my hugs? Then I won't let a day pass without embracing you.
It was a sweet scene between you two, but it eventually had to stop.
Buer: His Majesty Lucifer is still getting ready for today. Would you like a message in the meantime?
Mc: You're not scamming me out of my money again.
Buer: This one's on the house. How could I make my sweet sibling pay for one of my services?
Marbas: Does that mean that you were joking yesterday?
Buer: No, you still owe me 50 dollars.
Marbas: This is why we should stop accepting immigrants.
Gamigin: Techinicly speaking all of you are immigrants
Buer, Marbas, Morax: Shut up, Gamigin!
After the small squable between the four, you decide to take Buer's offer. He always gave the best messages which made you feel more relaxed than anything in the human world. If they didn't cost so much you would ask him to do it daily... maybe that's why he doesn't make them free.
After the message, you were dragged by Morax to his room. He wanted to give you a through medical check out, to make sure his new sibling has no problems. When you tell him that he should take care of himself more, he blushes and takes your hands in his.
Morax: Would you like to replace my bandages?
The look he gave you was nothing short of adoration as he brought a new roll of white bandages to you. He slowly takes the bandages off his arms revealing his closed and opened wounds. He teaches you how to take care of a wound just in case. After you finish bandaging him up again, he opens his arms for an embrace. Even though you cannot see it, a soft smile makes its way on his face.
When you're finally done with those two you meet up with Lucifer. Your dates mainly consist of you talking to him about random stuff while he plays with your hair. When you stop talking he caress your face and hums signalling you to continue.
Meanwhile, in the bushes, the Paradise Lost gang spys on you two.
Buer: Shh! Marbas, your wheels are too loud.
Marbas: Not louder than your voice.
Gamigin: Look, look! I think they might kiss!
Buer: What?! Pass me the binoculars!
Marbas: You don't have money to buy your own?
Buer: No, I spent it all buying a gag to shut you up.
Morax: Don't talk about your bedroom activities in front of the child!
Gamigin: AAAAAAAAAAAA
Gamigin starts screaming and shaking his hands violently. He starts bouncing on his knees and hitting the air, which, in turn, makes the bells of his staff jiggle wildly. Buer and Morax try to sush him down and hide him behind the bushes.
Gamigin: Did you see?! They kissed! With tongue!
Morax: Quiet down, Gamigin, we don't want to be seen.
Buer: We don't even know how his majesty would react if he found out we're spying on his date.
Marbas: They're... so pretty together.
Buer turns around and slaps Marbas' erection like turning off a lightswitch.
Buer: Pervert!
Marbas: Who are you calling a pervert you little shit! You're so lucky I'm tied up so often. The second I get released, I'll make Gamigin work overtime to reserect you.
Gamigin: Would you really kill your brother like that?
Marbas: ...you're on thin ice.
Meanwhile
Mc: Should we stop them from staring?
Lucifer: Only if they're bothering you.
Mc: ... ok then. So, we all thought it was the bite of '87-
When your date with Lucifer is over, you go looking for Gamigin which turns out to be an extremely easy task because he was in the bush right next to you and Lucifer.
Gamigin: Are you leaving so soon?
Mc: Yeah... I need to go to Gehenna.
Gamigin: Why though? We have a lot of spare bedrooms in Paradise Lost. You can even sleep with his majesty Lucifer!
Lucifer: Gamigin...
Gamigin: Ok ok fine. But make sure you return tomorow! We're having a family board game night with everyone in Paradise Lost.
With that, you bid your fairwell and return to Gehenna.
#can you tell I have no idea how to write endings?#I don't even know how to call this#it started off as the bootlicking thing#but then I got distracted#and now it's this#I hope you enjoy it though#whb#what in hell is bad#whb lucifer#whb gamigin#whb morax#whb marbas#whb buer#whb x reader
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You walked into Minhyeok's room holding the cat shaped body pillow close to their chest. Minhyeok didn't react, he was used to your pressence at night.
"Make some space for me, fat-ass."
"There's enough space for the both of us, but not for your plushy as well."
"Fuck off, the plushy is an important member of the family."
"Do you love the plushie more than me, Mc? After all the sacrifices I made for you, this is how you repay me?"
"I never asked you to sacrifice anything for me. Now move, Bubulina needs to sleep somewhere."
"Bubulina? I thought his name was Pablo."
"She's trans, you bigot."
You two chuckle as Minhyeok makes some space for you and your big plushie. As you get comfortable he starts petting your head.
"You didn't tell me how school was today."
"That's because nothing happened."
"Did you eat your sandwiches?"
"No... You used a new type of cheese."
"Yeah, it was the only thing left in the fridge. I take it that you didn't like it."
"It's repulsive to even smell."
"That's a bit much... we should go to the supermarket tomorrow and restock then."
"Can't you go alone? I don't want to go to the store."
"If you don't come to the store I won't know what to buy for you."
"Fineeeee..."
"You're such a brat. I love you."
"I love you too."
You feel Minhyeok kiss the top of your head as you both find comfort in eachother's arms... and plushie.
#whb#what in hell is bad#whb minhyeok#this is very self indulging#I was just feeling soft and needed to write something for the best older brother#Also yeah I think of Minhyeok as an older brother#They kind of are???#I mean#Mc was practicly adopted into his family#that's why you won't be catching me writing Minhyeok nsfw anytime soon
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I LOOOOOOOVE THE SATAN ONE
He's like "Try me bitch"
Portraits of 3/5 known kings
Wanted to try and draw the kings too, i alredy drew Lucifer and Beel so this was good exploration to see how i draw them. Not so happy w/ how Levi turned out so...might draw him again.
Satan looks like a cat and i love it. Smt is wrong in how i drew Mammon but i can't see what it is wrong
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There's two more fics planned to be posted tomorrow and the day after and then I'll start clearing my askbox. So, if you asked anything during this week and it hasn't been answered yet, just wait until the 19th or 20th.
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bimet would sell merch to the shippers
Bimet is at the same time an avid Mammon x Mc shipper and an oportunist that sells merch of all the ships.
Since Tartaros has very advanced AIs do you think Bimet would be the type of grifter that makes AI art and sells it? I think from Tartaros only Eligos knows how to draw so he makes a lot of fanart of MC and Mammon... but would Bimet even ask for Eligos' consent before using it on a T-shirt and selling prints of it?
Sometimes the products with ships with other kings get damaged "mysteriously".
DragonOfTheDawn: Hey, Mr. Bimet, my product arrived damaged.
GoldenBoy: And what do you want me to do about it?
DragonOfTheDawn: I don't know, a refund or something?
GoldenBoy: We don't do refunds in Tartaros. What item did you order?
DragonOfTheDawn: The poster of his majesty Lucifer and Mc cuddling. It came in with a large cut in the middle.
GoldenBoy: That's just his majesty Lucifer's scar
DragonOfTheDawn: No, like... I can put my whole hand through it.
GoldenBoy: I'm so sorry, but there's nothing we can do about that. Just because you're so nice we'll give you a discount for your next purchase. Put in the code #MammonxMcBestShip and you can get up to 2% off your next purchase.
Bimet gets an angry call from Buer after this. He really shouldn't have messed with the little brother of the Paradise Lost lawyer.
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What Satan was doing what could kindly be called kissing, but it was more like he was trying to devour you. You told him you wanted to try taking things further and he was the happiest demon alive. After he broke the kiss and took off his shirt he looked at you and saw how stiff and uncomfortable you look. Confusion and worry struck him that moment. Where you fine? Did he go too far? He liked being rough and seing you in pain, but only if you were into that as well. He would never willing hurt you if you want it. When he checks with you, you tell him to continue, but the quiver in your voice told him everything he needed to know. You finally tell him the truth and he laughs. Cuddles with you on the bed and calms down your worries. He loves you even if you don't feel comfortable with sex now... or ever. Sex isn't the most important part of a relationship, at least to him.
#I wanted to make this longer but I ended up just repeating myself#writers block is a fucking bitch#whb#what in hell is bad#whb satan#whb x reader
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Whb characters reacting to Mc teaching them a cultural dance
I'm in an Erasmus as I'm writing this and I need to put my pookies in every scenario of my life to be complete.
Satan is very open to learning about other cultures. He would follow in your steps making sure he doesn't make a mistake. He's surprisingly good at this and he'll swoop you away with his smooth moves. Would teach you traditional dances from Gehenna as well so you'll be able to understand your cultures better. Starts with the hardest one so you'll get annoyed at him. It's not his fault you don't have the stamina of a demon.
Sitri would gladly do anything you ask of him. He's also very good at dancing and he's a swift learner, which makes him a wonderful dance partner. He would tell you a lot about how he remembers all the other dances you (read: Solomon) thought him and he's more than happy to remind you of them. As long as you're in his company, he's the happiest demon alive.
Gamigin has two left feet, so, please have mercy on his poor soul. He'll get the hang of it eventually and he'll be so happy for doing so. If it's a dance that requires more people, he'll gladly take the whole of Paradise Lost and dance alongside them. No, the staff stays with him even during the dance. He's very excited to learn about your culture and he'll bombard you with questions left and right. Would constantly ask you if you want to dance with him once more or if you know other dances. Asks Jjok to record him dancing with you and even though the video ends up blury, he'll still treasure it for all the years to come.
Morax is another bad dancer (if we're being honest, only Lucifer can dance from Paradise Lost and he's not doing it for free.) It's fine, if he steps on your feet or hurts you in any other way, he can cure you instantly. He's stiff, and his moves are akward, almost forced (since he has wounds everywhere) but he'll try his best and have a blast doing it. Would hug you at the end of the dance and thank you for sharing it with him. Very polite gentleman.
Barbatos is all for it. You show him a the moves and he picks you up and starts dancing. He's very flexible and willing, so he can bend in whatever way is neccessery. He'll dance with you constantly and he preferes faster dances since he can flex more that way. Would totally ask you to dance with him in the sun, feel your bodies touched by the sun's warm rays as you enjoy eachother's body (not in that way).
#whb#what in hell is bad#whb satan#whb sitri#whb gamigin#whb morax#whb barbatos#this was written with Braşoveanca in mind#also sârbe#I hate teaching people sârbe#they're so hard and my feet hurt afterwards
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What if anonymous!MC starts shipping the nobles with the angels (Paimon×Selaphiel, Eligos×Michelleel, Foras×Michael, Amon×Raphael, Glasyalabolas×Gabriel)
MC doesn't ship the Paradise Lost guys with angels but ships Marbas×Buer as a joke knowing they're beefing w each other
How would the kings and nobles react to finding out MC did it again after another doxxing/exposing incident by the Hades guys
The second time it happens I think all the kings would less open to sweet-talking.
Satan: Paimon x Michael? Why though? What was your thought process when you not only wrote this, but posted it as well?
Mc: Paimon likes blood and Michael likes killing people. It just works!
Satan: ...You just lost phone priveleges for a week
Mc: You're not my dad! Give that back to me!
Satan: I'm your guardian in this mess, that basicly gives me parental control!
Mammon: Master, have you got a moment?
Mc: What is it?
Mammon: I have noticed that a lot of your online activity consists of you writing erotic fanfiction about devils and angels... is this a fetish of yours, or do you want to talk about it?
Mc: I thought you liked my last fanfiction
Mammon: No no they're great. It's just that I'm starting to see a pattern and I don't know how I feel about it.
Leviathan while chocking you with his own hands: If you ever write that filth again, I will kill you without hesitation!
Mc: It...w-wasn't... even that...bad
Leviathan: That's 100k words! That's longer than most novels! Instead of wasting your talent in writing shit, you should try to do something worthwile with your life. Is this fanfiction of yours the reason you haven't spent as much time with me? Do you care more about your offensive filth than for me?
Barbatos: Your Majesty Leviathan... I think the human passed out.
Beelzebub: Angel cum makes for great medicine, so if Raphael cummed on Amon's wounded chest it would cure it.
Mc: I didn't know that. Thanks for the feedback
Beelzebub: Also, Raphael is into feet so maybe you could add that. And the scene where they fight should be a bit longer. It's like forplay, but more aggressive and animalistic.
Mc: I was thinking about them biting eachother's throats off.
Beelzebub: That's such a good idea. Write that down.
Lucifer: ...
Mc: Come on, it's not that bad. Marbas and Buer would make for a great couple.
Lucifer: (why do I even try to impress this human)
Gamigin: Yeah, but Marbas and Buer are brothers. Our brothers.
Mc: Then I'll just tag it as step-cest.
Lucifer picks up their phone and breaks it in half
Gamigin: I think you should leave... now.
#whb#what in hell is bad#whb satan#whb mammon#whb leviathan#whb beelzebub#whb lucifer#whb gamigin#shipper au
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I'm curious, what if mc in the shipper au is polyamorous and dates multiple or perhaps all of the kings, what then?
I'll be including Asmodeus as one of the kings MC starts dating because I want to write for Dantalian as well.
Whb shippers reacting to a poly!Mc dating all the kings
Well, you're dating Satan, so Paimon doesn't complain that much. Would probably still bicker with some of the more active shippers about which king you like most, but he'll be chiller in the forums. He continues his usual fan-fic writing and edit making maybe throwing in some photos of you and another king so he doesn't get pilled on by the other shippers.
Eligos takes a hit when he hears that but he learns to accept it. This is... good, from his point of view. Mammon loves seeing you being greedy for lovers and Eligos likes seeing Mammon happy, it's a win win situation. After all, everyone in hell belongs to Mammon, so you're basicly just playing with some toys that belong to you. Eligos is of the opinion that you're only trully dating Mammon and the other kings are side-dishes, so he let's it happen.
Foras cries. He just cries. He's absolutely godsmaked as to how you could possibly convince Leviathan to let you date other people. On one hand, he's happy that you consider his majesty your lover. On the other hand, how dare you go out and show your affection to other's. He tries to keep you in Hades as much as possible, right next to Leviathan's side, and he'll only stop when either you or Leviathan tell him to. Stops doxxing people for a month since he's too sad to open the forums.
Glasylabolas is sad, but for other reasons. How is he supposed to start drama when it's public information that you're dating all the kings?! He tries to argue with people about which king you love best, but he only gets responses from try hards (Gamigin) which is less fun than having all the forums in chaos. Plus, Gamigin never leaves Paradise Lost and he was doxxed ages ago, so he no longer has where to show off his hacker powers.
You better hope that Beelzebub set Amon down and explained what polyamory is because the moment he finds out that His Majesty Beelzebub's s/o is being stolen by the other kings, he sees red. The one law that seperates Avisos from Abaddon is that you're not to steal someone's lover, which is how Amon percieves this whole ordeal. At one point you were on a peaceful date with Mammon and you see Amon making a beeline to you. He was ready to shoot Mammon (as if one bullet could kill him) but you had to throughly explain to him the concept of polyamory.
Amon: So it's like an orgy... but romantic?
Mammon: Sometimes it's just an orgy
Mc: Mammon! But yeah, that's kind of it.
Will leave you alone from that point onward. He has no interest in destroying a happy law-abiding relationship.
Dantalian is also sad that he no longer has anyone to fight with in the forums. But he has a lot of fun going "I told you" on every post he made about how a poly relationship is the only logical step for the relationship between you and the kings. Him and the whole Abaddon crew would ask if they can join in the bedroom fun and 9/10 Asmodeus even encourages them. Whether you like it or not, dating Asmodeus was always the gate way drug to being into polyamory.
Gamigin chockes on his spit when you tell him that you're dating all the kings. He looks at you with this face
He didn't know you could do that. He's still an avid Mc x Lucifer shipper and will continue to get into arguments with people that disagree. He had to be lectured by the Paradise Lost marketing manager (Buer) about how bad it looks for most of Paradise Lost's media output being arguments on the internet about a stupid topic. Gamigin stops redirecting his passion for the subject towards making sure that your stay at Paradise Lost is the best in hell. Finally he can talk with his brothers and they'll understand what he means by keeping you happy so you come to Paradise Lost more often.
#anyone interested in a fic about the paradise lost gang being your personal bootlickers so you stay with Lucifer?#whb#what in hell is bad#shipper au#whb paimon#whb satan#whb eligos#whb mammon#whb foras#whb leviathan#whb amon#whb beelzebub#whb glasylabolas#whb dantalian#whb asmodeus#whb gamigin#whb lucifer
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