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nerves-nebula · 1 month

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betcha thought u saw the last of me huh

been in a major writing slump for the past year, and now and conquering my writing slumo to hopefully get over all of my other ones so here u go this is inspired by a post a long time ago that i can’t find ab everyone falling back into old habits at the farm house and i can’t remember if it was april or casey who set them into shape but i needed an excuse to make it faggy

the farmhouse itself was nothing like the sewers. warm wooden walls, sunlit windows, and soft carpet were a very dramatic change from the damp, cold walls of the sewer, made colder by the presences within them.

it was a change, for sure, but raph couldn’t help but think it was a welcome one.

everyone could tell something had changed between them, between everyone. eggshells littered the floorboards during short, awkward conversations, before the occupants retreated back to their designated spaces.

some things lingered, though. what is it that people say—it takes twenty one days to form a habit? well, raph has been doing this for nineteen years, so beat that. he’s spent almost two decades walking on autopilot, not thinking twice about anything until it became a threat, picking up after everyone, cooking, cleaning. the list carried on.

and for the better part of two decades, his siblings had accepted that. some smart people online can say whatever they want, but a few weeks in the farmhouse can’t undo years of habit. but it was fine. it was fine if he spent a good few hours of his day cleaning up mikey’s paint. it was fine if donnie’s gadgets were scattered across the table. it was fine if leo left dishes in the sink from a meal he couldn’t be bothered to share.

it was fine.

raph was fine.

his brain woke him up early. it always did. he had to make breakfast and clean up the mess everyone probably made after he turned in for the night, and donnie probably hasn’t showered in awhile, so he needs to get on that and-

“you’re thinking too loud.” a voice grumbled from below him. that was odd. casey was never up this early. that was new. “quit it.”

“…sorry.” raph muttered, lifting his head from casey’s chest. that was relatively new too. he saw the way mikey looked at them, like he knew something they didn’t. he and casey were old friends, even if the bed thing was new. “i didn’t know you were up.”

“oh, im up alright. i’m up to make sure that you aren’t.”

…

“huh?” he asked, his eyes narrowing in confusion as he glanced up at casey’s face. his hair was tousled with sleep, leaving his eyes actually visible in the soft light of dawn. the warm sun hit the brown irises perfectly, casting them in honey.

“you heard me.” casey yawned, tossing a tan arm over his eyes. the long, thick strands of his uncut hair splayed across the pillow in tendrils. slithering out across the cotton to root their host into the mattress. “you’re sleeping in.”

…

that’s new too.

his mind screamed in protest. he didn’t do well with change; he never had. that was his routine—his new one. he woke up early, made breakfast, ate as much as his body would allow him, and then some, and then cleaned. leo would wake up next, take his fill, not clean his plate, and fuck off to god knows where. then mikey would emerge, and then donnie. april came down a few hours later, and then finally casey would wake up. it was never like this; he was never last.

some part of him, deep inside his psyche, begged for a break. sleeping in would be nice. he couldn’t think of a place he’d rather be than right here—casey’s arm wrapped around his shoulder, holding his head against the soft flesh of his stomach while absolutely shrouded in blankets. he hadn’t been this comfortable in years.

he was wasting time. dad never liked waiting for breakfast.

dad wasn’t here, and frankly, he could go fuck himself.

it took twenty-one days to form a habit. how long does it take to break one?

without a word, raph settled back into casey’s body and closed his eyes.

—:—

the next time he woke up, casey was still under him. the sun was higher in the sky, now painting the walls in golden rays as opposed to the vibrant pinks and blues of dawn. his friend's hand ran across the ridges of his shell, rendering him practically immobile. his limbs were loose with contentment, and his vision was hazy as he flicked his eyes around the room.

“mornin’. again.” casey grinned down at him, that gap-toothed smile wide, and pleased with his own poor joke. his fingers never stopped their soothing motions on his carapace, though, so raph decided to let it go.

his eyelids felt heavy as he forced them to stay open, blinking sleep away while flexing his body. every finger, every toe, arms, legs, and then finally his neck as he lifted his head from casey’s warmth.

“what time is it?” he asked, pushing his body up into a sitting position, much to his mind's dismay. everything in him was screaming to lay down again, to soak up casey’s warmth like the man was a rock in the sun. he may as well be with his body temperature.

casey helped him up, his big hands steady against his biceps as he manoeuvred raph into a sitting position in front of him. the sheets pooled around their waists as raph leaned his head against casey’s shoulder. the room was so cold now.

“c’mon.” raphs shoulder was prodded gently, and he raised his head to gaze into where casey’s eyes hid behind his hair. his voice was soft and low, like a vibration in the air.

maybe that could explain the tingling in his spine.

bare, tan feet hit the floor first, before his hand gently tugged the turtle off the mattress. still dazed with sleep, he stumbled, leaning into casey’s side to take the weight off of his unsteady legs. the stairs were the hardest to conquer, with all three of raphs fingers grasping casey’s wrist while they manoeuvred down the steps.

a muffled scolding sounded from the next room, and raph felt something inside of him freeze. it wasn’t dad splinter. splinter usually yelled, or even just spoke, but he never tried to make himself quieter. maybe the humiliation of everyone else knowing you were in trouble was part of the punishment.

“i swear to fucking god.” the voice spoke, tone controlled yet flaming. “i’m done watching him pick up after you guys. i love you, you’re my friends, but you need to get your shit together.”

his brain didn’t quite comprehend who was speaking until he heard the next voice.

“it’s not that big of a deal.” leo’s familiar tone punctured the air. raph refused to allow the sound to stab him like the knife it always was. “he’s done it forever! i’m sure he’s used to it by now!”

“that doesn’t mean it’s fine, leo!”

“april, w-we’re all getting better…aren’t we? i mean, we clean up after ourselves decently...”

“no, the house is clean because raph is still cleaning up after you guys like he’s your mom!”

casey’s hand tightened a fraction on his shoulder, and he looked back down at him with a grin. “how about we go outside, yeah? it’s s’posed to be real nice out.”

before raph could complain or comply, he was already being led in the other direction, hearing the voices fade back out. he opened his mouth, and casey cut him off. “i know you’re hungry. i’ll getcha something. wait outside for me? ‘kay?”

and like that, he was gone. the door closed behind him as raph turned his eyes to the tree line, plush with vibrant leaves and dark soil. remnants of dew still clung to the blades of grass, shining brightly in the light of the sun.

the wood of the patio was warm against his feet, and he leaned his elbows to the railing, licking his eyes into the woods. his eyes were still heavy, and the place around his neck where casey’s arm previously lay left a pleasant scorch sinking into his skin. still, the voices from inside bounced in his skull. at least the yelling was familiar.

somethings never change.

thaNKK YOUUU !!! this was SO CUTE UGH. you get the first neglected art i've been able to make in a while

#nnstuff #nnart #ask #asks are sweethearts #neglected fic #teenage mutant neglected turtles #neglected art #tmnt raph #casey jones

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noirvette · 1 year

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clyde and tweek! gen dating headcanons!!

cws: none! just fluff

♡ CLYDE DONOVAN

Was nervous to ask you out but he acted like he wasn't, but his awareness for how to ask you out smoothly was lacking.

He'd ask you out in class, him sitting in front of you. During work time he'd spin around to ask about a certain homework question and if you could tutor him/help him with the answers.

"Y/n? Hey can you help me?" "Yeah, uh... with what?" "Oh just what we're working on.. does Friday after school work with you? We could grab coffee?" "Clyde why do you need help on an 'About Me' essay?" "🧍‍♂️" "Sure though, I'd love to go out with you."

He spends the rest of the class time with his head in his hands bro, he's so embarrassed. He's stoked you agreed though.

Always puts his your needs and wants above his

He might "complain" about it but he's not actually complaining, he always wants to make sure you're happy

Loves PDA, but like enough for people to obviously understand you're together, but it's not over the top. He doesn't want to constantly be kissing you or something, just constant skin contact

He LOVES talking about you. He sits at his lunch table with his friends and the first topic he brings up is you, how good you look, how smart you are, as long as it's about you, he's talking.

Sends you random memes and reaction pics that just work?? Like he has a picture for EVERYTHING. Constantly texts too, he wants you to know he's engaged in conversation. Would and will respond in 2 seconds to anything you say.

If he doesn't it's because he's actually busy, which happens when his sports season rolls around (I see him on the football team w/ Stan and maybe baseball?), however he makes sure to text you before and after training/work outs/etc.

Maybe? controversial? But he's a little spoon. He wants to be held. Loves it.

Likes kissing the top of your nose or your temple. Like before you enter class, he pulls you into him, quickly kisses your temple, and off he goes to his own class.

Won't accept you paying. He pays for everything, he has to. He feels terribly if you end up paying, and if it does happen, he buys you something to make up for it: jewelry, coffee, something you eyed at the store last week, shoes, etc. WHATEVER IT IS, he bought it to "pay you back".

One time he thought you were ignoring him and he sent you an apple cash/venmo of like 10 dollars and was like "babe what'd i do, im sorry :("

When you're hanging out with his friends, he wants you attached to him, not out of jealousy or because he doesn't trust the guys he just loves you so much and wants you around him.

Arms wrapped around your waist as you sit on his lap you feel me?

If you leave for the bathroom or to get a drink or something, you come back and he's sitting still, face down on the table pouting.

Doesn't know how to respond to rants or vents though, like at all. Honestly if you send him a long message about how terribly your day went he'd very briefly scan it and respond with a "nta, divorce" and you're like "CLYDE WHAT???"

Atp it might be better to just call him and tell him your complaints.

♡ TWEEK TWEAK

Doesn't know how to ask you out at all. Is overwhelmed by the possibility that it could go wrong and he ends up psyching himself out every time he's about to ask you out.

Honestly unless you ask out Tweek or some invisible force pushes you two together, you guys wouldn't start dating.

Getting his attention wasn't hard, he finds himself often taking loving glances at you through out school.

Once you ask him out he kind've.. freezes and then pinches himself. He's gotta prove this isn't the dream he's had for the past week. Once he knows it's not, he agrees, a blush taking over his whole face.

I know I keep writing these guys as not big fans of pda but I swear I only see a few of the sp guys as fans of pda 😭 (Like I only see Kenny, Butters, and Clyde as the major pda guys mb guys). Loves just holding hands though. Having his fingers intertwined with yours makes him smile.

He's often less stressed out around you, finds himself coming to you when he's anxious about something.

If he's anxious about something all he wants is to be heard, not being told solutions (this is canon but yk gotta still say it). There are times where a solution would be best and he understands then, but it annoys him if all you give him is "how" to fix the situation rather than just hearing him out

Maybe? controversial? I feel as if tweek texts pretty clearly. a few typos (but who doesn't have typos), but he doesn't have constant typos.

Loves using emojis though, he likes how he can express himself easily with them rather than using just words. Especially because there are times where he just doesn't understand how to express himself and he sees an emoji that works perfectly

Likes music sharing. He makes playlists that are just dedicated to you and he sends them to you.

He also likes calming songs (? idk think like the neighborhood, tv girl, lana del ray, cigarettes after sex, etc.)

Is another small spoon when cuddling. LOVES cuddling actually. He can fall asleep so easily with you in his arms and he's never felt more at peace than when you guys cuddle.

Also likes facing you when lying down next to you. His arm draped across your waist and his face against your chest bro, he's knocked out.

Doesn't like really public dates, occasionally wants the fun amusement park date, but if you're going to do public dates, he likes a simple atmosphere, like at an aquarium or a museum.

I feel like his love languages are quality time and words of affirmation.

Sometimes he gets in his head and believes you aren't actually with him because you love him and it's some sort of prank or scheme.

Please reassure him :(, all he needs is a constant "I love you" and he's doing better.

#clyde donovan #tweek tweak #tweek x reader #clyde donovan x reader #tweek tweak x reader #clyde donovan headcanons #tweek tweak headcanons #south park #south park x reader #south park headcanons #fluff

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obsessedtomone · 3 months

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Unravel Yourself Before Me ⛓️ Chapter 8 - Close Call▸Shigaraki x femReader

Chapter Summary:

◤ From the moment he saw you in the convenience store, he thought you were a major fucking pain in the ass.

The way you stared at him in disgust—the way everyone fucking stared at him—like he was some piece of garbage to be thrown out, made him want to strangle you until he saw the light leaving your eyes. You thought you were so fucking cool, talking back to him when you had no clue who he was or what he was capable of.

Absolutely fucking clueless. ◢ Setting: University AU - No quirks (unless degenerate personalities count) Tags: Slow burn, Eventual Smut, Unhealthy/Toxic Relationships, Humiliation, Mentally Ill Reader, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to ??? Warning: Dead Dove – Do Not Eat | Mind the tags TW: Implied Su/Self H, Dubcon, Reader has a super shitty past like actually, Shigaraki Tomura is his own warning.

AO3 Crosspost | Chain Divider by firefly-graphics

Chapters: One • Two • Three • Four • Five • Six • Seven • Eight • Nine Updates every Monday!

Chapter 8 - Close Call

The changing colors, seeping through the old glass panels of your dirty windows and dancing against your almost white walls were the only indication that time was actually passing—leaving you behind.

Occasionally there would be a loud motorcycle racing down the empty street, or you would hear neighbors arguing with each other somewhere alongside the building.

Your head was now hanging off your bed and you were boring holes into the space. Maybe you’d be lucky to form a blood clot on your brain, have a stroke and die.

You’d snort at the thought, but you’re too tired to fucking care. Instead, you only feel empty, empty, empty.

Somewhere deep down, you think you feel hungry too.

When was the last time you had eaten? You’ve probably been laying on your bed like this for hours today.

You – im taking the next few days off, dont come over i’ll be fine

Despite your phone ringing for days, your friend knew better than to try and come over when you felt like this. You still don’t pick up.

This type of shut-down happened only one other time during your friendship, somewhere last year when your ex found out where you lived and showed up to talk.

Talk with his fist against your face when you told him—knife in your hand—to fucking dare get any closer.

Taylor's impeccable sixth sense, otherwise known as obsession to bother you whenever it suited them best, saved you that day…from trying to slice his fucking throat open.

You don’t remember how your friend got rid of him, especially when you’d told them you’d get in big trouble if they called the authorities to report him, but after the adrenaline passed, you had crashed for two weeks.

It worried them sick. That, you remember.

They eventually called the police and the paramedics to break into your apartment, but you just stood there, confused. You ended up warning Taylor to leave you alone when this happened, the presence of people—of the fucking police—only draining you and pushing you over the edge.

You’d be fine soon, but everyone needed to fuck off.

The officer had gotten really angry after realizing you were cognizant enough to stay out of the psych ward, and almost wrote both of you up for wasting his time with dramatics.

Taylor doesn’t fully understand why or how you end up shutting down. They never feel the need to hide away from the world, no matter how traumatic any incident was to them.

In fact, it was quite the opposite for your friend. Where you would hide from everyone, they would distract themselves with parties, drugs, hook-ups. Anything to make it better. You weren’t like them, though.

You were you.

That however, didn’t stop Taylor from blowing up your phone—asking, offering, pestering you every single day, if they could bring you something to eat at least.

You don’t reply.

You need space.

Space to pretend you don't exist.

Expecting to be fired, you had called your manager Gene (you don’t remember at what point, though), to tell him you didn’t really know when you’d be available to take another shift. He told you not to worry about it and take as many days off as you needed “kid”.

It reminded you that not all people in the world were assholes. That at least some people cared about you.

You could probably count the amount of nice things anyone’s done to you on your fingers.

So you do. You raise your hand in front of your face, while your head is still hanging off the bed, and start literally counting on your fucking fingers.

There was Taylor—you put one finger down.

There was your manager—you put a second finger down.

There was also that guy at the arcade, the one you should probably quit worrying about. You didn’t message him again after you told him you would, and it still fucking bothers you for some reason. Despite that, he counted as someone who was nice to you. You put a third finger down.

Would he be weirded out if you messaged him now? Maybe you could hit the arcade with someone outside your bubble, and forget you were you for a second. You end up spacing out again.

A distant ringtone brings you out of your daze and you glance at your phone. You’d changed your number. Was that last week? How many days have passed?

You don’t remember.

You should probably order take-out before you pass out again.

Fast food, you think.

Yeah, fast food sounds really damn good right now, fuck your savings.

Dead people need no savings.

The phone is still ringing. You reach for it and look at the display. Unknown number.

Against your better judgment, you pick up. You still hoped it wasn’t another creep looking for a hook-up. If it was, maybe you’d take them up on it, fuck it.

That’s what they all expected from you anyways.

However, you were met with only silence for a while.

“Hey,” the last person you wanted to hear from says quietly. “I uhh—I got this number from your friend.” you hear him swallowing thickly, making you frown.

Did he fucking threaten them? You should be getting mad, but all you can feel is nothing.

“I’ve—...It’s been a while since you, uh...” you hear him curse under his breath as he trailed off, “It’s been two weeks. Your friend, uh, Taylor? Told me you’re not feeling well and—”

“What do you want from me?” you snap, hearing your voice sounding rough, from prolonged dehydration if you had to guess. You wanted to reply with some snarky comment, something to taunt him, but you didn’t have energy. You couldn’t care less anyways.

Nothing fucking matters.

After a moment of hesitation, Shigaraki almost whispered.

“Come back to school.”

“Alright, fuck off.” you reply, raising your phone to your face and almost ending the call if not for the bright fucking screen blinding you for a second.

“I deleted them.” he said, attempting to keep you from hanging up.

It worked.

“Huh?”

“I removed the thread. It doesn’t exist anymore. Anywhere. At all.”

For a moment, you think about it, realizing you’re supposed to feel some sort of relief—but all you felt was nothing.

“Why.” you say, not ask. You don’t understand, why would he go through the trouble?

Thinking is really hard right now.

“Come to school and we’ll talk. Have you eaten yet?” you think you hear concern in his voice, but you know better, so you scoff.

It took you a while to reply, but he didn’t press you the way he always did.

He just… waited.

“...No.”

“Do you…” he mumbles, hesitating again. “Do you wanna grab a bite with me? I’ll—I’ll pay.” he hurried to get it out before you shut him down.

“Shigaraki.”

“Yeah?”

“Why the fuck would I go anywhere with you?”

“If you let me take you out once, you’ll find out.” he promises.

A promise that you didn’t care for him to fulfill.

You huffed and shuffled around and weren’t about to make this easy for him, he knew.

He knew you never will, but he’s nothing if not ambitious.

“We’re not friends.” you bite, “We’re not even on friendly terms. I was an asshole to you, I fucked with you and you got to ruin my life in return. The end.” you asserted, going over the list with him. “How stupid do you think I am? Even if you did get rid of the thread now, everyone fucking saw everything, they could have saved it, the damage is—”

“Done, I know. I…”

You rolled your eyes, almost cutting him off again, but still waited to hear what he had to say—which was fucking nothing apparently, because he ended up only cursing and sighing.

It wasn’t hard to figure out how someone could end up as fucked up as he was.

If life managed to fuck you up and help you become as dysfunctional as you were right now, you can’t imagine the damage it takes for a person to grow into someone like him.

Rich people are weird, but they’re also cowards. They don’t stand out like he does, they mostly keep to themselves—keep the dirt in the family, behind closed doors.

Yet Shigaraki seemed to only seek destruction in his path.

Either he was born a natural psychopath and his parents don’t fucking care about him or…they too were insane pieces of shit—

You blink. Why on earth would you rationalize his fucking behaviour?! God knows you didn’t go to therapy for so long only for you to fall back into bad habits.

He hurt you. He is the bad guy.

But by that standard, so were you, if you counted the times you’ve fucked up in your life, until you were lucky to know better. Regardless of what your therapist would tell you.

Besides, you’ve been through much worse than what he’s shown you so far.

You’ll probably spend the rest of your life regretting your following words.

“Where…did you wanna meet?”

His ears perked up at that, phone slipping from his hands and crashing on the floor. You heard muffled curses and a hasty reply.

“Fuck, really?! You’ll come?”

If you’re honest, you don’t think you’ve ever heard him sound positively excited—save for whenever he caught you suffering—but then again, you don’t really know him at all.

The reason you’re even willing to take him up on his offer, as stupid as it was, is the same self-destructive reason you would’ve hooked up with any residual college creep you expected to call you earlier.

Because you deeply, deeply needed to sabotage yourself.

“Keep asking, and I might change my mind. I gotta shower first and—oh,” is the last thing he hears before you trip and—thud—face plant. “Fuck.” you said softly, closing your eyes.

You didn’t really eat or drink anything lately, which was probably why you felt your consciousness slowly slipping away.

“Hey—okay?—llo?”

His panicked raspy voice is the last thing you hear before you’re completely out of it.

You hope it was for good this time. ─────────

The first sign that you’re unfortunately still very much alive, is that you don’t feel the promised nothingness. The forever inexistence you hoped to achieve after your oh-so-tragic passing. Where would they bury you, anyways?

Instead, the first sound that your brain registers is a loud pounding in the distance.

Followed by people yelling.

Feeling your mind slowly booting up, you attempt to get up.

Instead of succeeding though, you slip and fall again, groaning audibly. Around the third attempt, you finally get to your feet.

Miserable and clutching your empty, hurting stomach, you slowly walk towards the source of the obnoxious pounding, feeling an awful lot of deja vu.

“Fuck off! This is your fucking fault—” you hear and immediately recognize your best friend’s voice arguing with…?

“Get off my fucking case. If you would’ve checked up on her we wouldn't even be here, you dumb—”

Ah, of course he’d be here too. How is it that he’s anywhere and everywhere, all at once—from the moment you fall asleep to the moment you wake, incessantly haunting you like a goddamn fucking ghost.

“Shut the fuck UP, you creep! Don’t get me STARTED, you insane piece of shit, do you even know what she even went through when you—”

Being fed up with the noise, you open the door to the commotion, interrupting their argument as both of the loud idiots snap their heads towards the woman of the hour.

“I have fucking neighbors too, you know?”

They both stared at you as if you became the eighth wonder of the world, prompting you to arch a brow.

“Well, you look like shit.” Shigaraki breaks the tension.

Both you and your friend glare daggers at him.

“What?” he mumbles, looking away, his hand habitually reaching to scratch his neck. “It’s true.”

Rolling your eyes while Taylor was gearing up to say something back, you open your door for them to come in.

“Do not talk shit about the mess,” you say, kicking random things out of your way. “I don’t have a couch, sit wherever you want, or don’t. I don’t care.”

You trip right after saying that, but Shigaraki is quick to grab you by your waist, making you stiffen up and immediately shove him off.

“Do not fucking touch me.” you hiss, and he huffs in response, frowning.

Normally, you know he wouldn’t let that slide, but something weird is going on with him and you don’t have the willpower or energy to unpack his nice guy behavior from today.

Taylor was knocking shit over, opening and closing what seemed like every fucking drawer and cupboard of your two by two kitchen, trying to find something—anything—that was edible in your pantry.

“I’m fine, you really didn’t have to come over. Especially not you.” you glare at Shigaraki and say it like you weren’t starving to death and were ready to be put in a coffin if they hadn’t shown up.

“Like hell you are!” your friend replies sharply, not bothering to spare you a second look in their quest for finding food.

Your eyes landed on him again, noticing his head hanging low and the mop of white hair messily covering his face as he furiously scratched at his neck, drawing blood from the sensitive skin. You couldn’t see his expression save for a glimpse of red, and honestly didn’t really care to.

“Yuck, stop that.” you swat his hand away.

Shigaraki finally meets your eyes and you notice dark eyebags. He looked worse than he normally did, and that’s saying something. He was so confident and full of himself usually, so much so, that this weird uncertainty looked out of place on his face. What made him so uneasy?

“What?” you spit.

He doesn’t reply, instead he grunts and looks away. The fuck is his problem?

“Okay! So!” Taylor makes their way over with a glass of cold water and hands it to you. “You have absolutely fucking nothing to eat in this dump you call home. Incredible news, I know.” they rolled their eyes and placed their hands on their hips while you immediately started chugging the glass down. Who knew water could taste so refreshing?

“Shigaraki, be a big boy and go to the convenience store ‘round the corner to buy a few things while I help this bitch clean up. Don’t buy anything too heavy on the stomach, ‘cos she hasn’t eaten in a while, isn’t that right sweetheart?”

Oh, you just noticed. They were mad. But that would come later, when you’re stable enough to take an honest-to-god beating from them.

“Wha—Why the fuck would I go?” he growls at Taylor irritatedly, but is only met with a smug look.

“Ok then, I’ll go! Are you going to stay here, take her clothes off and help her take a shower? Scrub her clean for me, babe? Can’t you see she can barely fucking stand?” Taylor shot him a look.

“Hey! I’m not a fucking kid!” you say but they both ignored you.

Shigaraki’s eyes widen and a bright red flush spreads on his pale features.

“That’s what I thought.” Taylor snorts.

You can’t help but stare at him incredulously. Was he seriously flustered at the mere prospect of you taking your clothes off? He’s literally seen god knows how much disgusting footage of you naked or fucking somebody. Not only that but he also posted said footage online for everyone to jerk off to.

Is this the same guy who pinned you against the wall in a public hallway, telling you how undeserving of his cock you were, because you were a little mean to him? The train of thought filled you with newfound anger, but before you could snap at Taylor for even daring to suggest such a thing instead of kicking him out, they spoke first.

“I know I took you with me on a whim,” your friend begins, referring to the only black fucking sheep in the room, “But I really don’t trust you after all the bullshit. Hooooonestly… I’m still waiting for her to snap at me for showing you where she lives. She’s about to use the last three percent of her energy to try to kill me, so you better go now. It’s the least you can do for her, emo boy.” Taylor says, bracing themselves and it finally clicks.

Oh.

Oh, right.

“Seriously?! What the FUCK were you thinking?” you shout at them.

You know your friend was careless, but letting Shigaraki have more access to ways of fucking you over was pushing it.

“Wait, wait, wait! I can explain!” were Taylor’s famous last words, as you deliriously started hauling any object or piece of trash you could at them.

Tomura glanced at you a final time, before quietly slipping past the both of you and out of the noisy apartment.

Your friend wasn’t lying to you, they really did only take him with them on a whim.

In fact, they had a whole ass mental breakdown when he texted them about what happened. Shigaraki didn’t really understand why they let him see you after all that he’s done, figuring they must be really fucking dumb and a horrible friend.

He wasn’t about to complain, though.

This was a golden opportunity for him to learn what made you tick and how to break you just enough to build you up again for him—without risking you killing yourself in the process.

He needed to be very careful in the future, unlike today where he almost fucked up, underestimating just how fragile your will to live was.

He’d make you want to live, he told himself as he was walking down the stairs of your building. He’s gotten this far—and after all, there was no end boss he couldn’t beat before.

Little did you know, the past few weeks had been rough for him too.

Not that you’d ever find out—or care. ───────── The bell rang and he was still standing in the hallway where you left him, looking off in the distance and hoping to materialize you again out of thin air.

Scratch, scratch, scratch.

His neck was unbearably itchy at the thought of you rejecting him again. At the thought of himself messing up. He never messes up. It didn’t make sense.

He shouldn’t care about you.

You were nothing to him before.

From the moment he saw you in the convenience store, he thought you were a major fucking pain in the ass.

Absolutely fucking clueless.

Amusement twinkled in his eyes at your harmless retorts, the best part being that you managed to fuck up in front of him seconds later. What a mess you were.

Like him.

Shigaraki couldn’t help but giggle at your clumsiness.

What an idiot, forgetting your wallet right after you bared your teeth at him. Did you need someone to save you? That’s alright, he can treat you this time. He likes it when people owe him after all. It allowed him to own them.

He didn’t wanna believe his luck when he immediately spots you in class the next day, sitting in his favorite seat. Things couldn’t be more perfect, his new favorite little bitch was going to the same university as him, sharing his classes.

He couldn’t have found a more convenient toy to break if he tried.

“Hey, sponger.” he hits you with a grin from between his dry lips.

Shigaraki could see your brows pinching in surprise.

He very soon found out that he took great pleasure in making you squirm for him. It was funny seeing you getting frustrated over him sitting next to you in class. The same guy who humiliated you one day prior. He fucking reveled in that look.

“Why– ” you start, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. He watched you gather your thoughts before you spoke again. “How did you even recognize me?”

Your irritation sounded so, so sweet to his ears. Not even the professor walking in could hold him back from messing with you. He leaned into you and whispered, noticing you visibly shuddering at that.

“I’d recognize an ugly skank like you virtually anywhere, rest assured, idiot.” he said, making sure to verbally underline the insult way longer than it was necessary.

Shigaraki watched your reaction, hoping you’d bite back so he could push, push, push. You were so much fun and he’s just met you.

Generally people—especially women—avoided him like the fucking plague.

He wasn’t stupid, he knew what he looked like, his status and horrible personality doing nothing to help him either, save for a few crazies that got off on his violent nature and the hookers his Master occasionally books and insists he should indulge in, despite him turning them down every time.

People were generally afraid of him, but as much as people disliked him, they usually hid it well most of the time, not wanting to become part of his famous track record—to give him a reason to retaliate.

You, however, openly displayed your disgust. You didn’t hide it. You wore it on your sleeve. You weren’t afraid to be found out, in fact you wanted to make sure he heard you.

And he did hear you, crystal fucking clear. Only, he didn’t expect you to be so… Well, you.

Leaning into him yourself, if not a little more aggressively in comparison to his own gesture, you proceed to trap him in his own seat, arm reaching around the back, but deliberately not touching him.

You didn’t touch him but he could feel you. He could feel the warmth radiating from your body, being so close to him. People never got close to him unless he wanted them to, but you fucking dare. His breath hitched.

“I’d hold up a mirror, so you can finally get to see your own dusty ass, but you’d have to buy that for me too, jackass.” you had said, practically spitting in his face. Turns out you coincidentally also didn’t give a fuck about the professor.

Tomura’s eyes widen in the process and he backs off, scratching his neck somewhat disturbingly. Fuck, that was unexpected and you were so fucking cute. It took him a second to compose himself, because your bratty little comeback comment went straight to his cock.

That means, if I play this right—

He finally turned to you again and opened his mouth…

“If you don’t kill the stupid goblin at the beginning of the stage, the final boss won’t carry your S-Grade.” he casually states, pointing at your screen.

Once again, he marveled at how fucking lucky he was. You were playing one of his favorite MMOs–good pick, by the way—allowing him to latch onto that topic like a lifeline. He had to hurry and quickly get on your good side.

Before you found out who he really was and all the half-truths reached your ears too, his notorious reputation ruining everything for him.

“Huh?” you blink.

He found your confused face endearing, but you wouldn’t know that yet. Not until you properly became his.

“Tsk, your game, dumbass. You’ve probably been grinding for hours, only getting it once or twice because you never think to kill the stupid goblin, and only ever do it by accident.” he shrugged. “No one ever does, so they don’t find the pattern without looking up a guide.”

He didn’t expect you to be so obedient already, but you seemed to be either really fucking clueless or incredibly confident, because you actually took him up on his advice, and while you were busy trying out the new acquired strategy, he took his time to really observe you.

Tomura leaned in closer and couldn’t believe how oblivious you could be.

You seemed to dislike him so much, but you let him get close to you? So close that he could easily inhale the nice scent of your shampoo, and because your hair looked so inviting, he wanted to run his fingers through it.

To grip it hard and make your pretty head bob up and down his—

“Ugh!” you slammed your fist on the desk, earning you a few looks. Luckily for him, you didn’t give a fuck.

Close, too close.

His hand was hanging in the air, just behind your head—almost touching you. He quickly retracted it and resumed to just observing you.

How many silly dates would it take you to let him drag you into his apartment? He glanced at your neck. What would you sound like if he marked you? If he covered your body with so many bruises and hickeys until everyone knew you were his? What was your favorite co-op game? Would you sit in his lap when you played together? Would he be able to get you to cockwarm him while you were playing? What was your favorite take-out dinner? Your movie? Do you have siblings? How many lovers have you had? Would he be your first, like you would be his? Would you enjoy being speared on his dick, where you belonged? Would you take him, like the good girl he knows you’ll be? He wasn’t stupid, he knew he’d have to tame you somehow, but you’ll understand. You’ll become his favorite plaything.

Tomura’s thoughts were spiraling uncontrollably and he felt that couldn’t wait. Especially when his cock was so fucking hard and straining against the fabric of his jeans, that it almost hurt.

If only he could skip the boring dialogue and get to the fucking cutscene.

During the little time where his head wasn’t filled with thoughts of bending you over the desk and pounding your pussy in front of the whole class to see, he found out he actually enjoyed something as boring as watching you play.

You were surprisingly decent. Better than Spinner at least. The gear that you were wearing consisted of only legendary sets, ones he’d even use himself—if only with a few modifications to the stats. The kind of gear that, if you were lucky, only dropped from bosses that spawn once a month.

By the time you’d finished your second run, an idea formed in his head.

“Told you so.” he says matter-of-factly, without even a hint of smugness in his voice.

You scoffed at him and rolled your eyes.

It’s alright, he thought. People often got annoyed at him when he was right. You’ll come around, and even if you didn’t, you’d still be fun to debate with, he could tell. You looked so fuckable when you were pouting like a brat, too. It made him want to see you cry.

“Don’t look so pissy, it took me like a week to figure it out and it really drove me insane,” he says, thinking back fondly to all the controllers he managed to break. “I’m usually pretty good at these types of tells in games, but the design of this one made no fucking sense.“

He glances at your game thoughtfully, not catching on, on the fact that it was him that pissed you off, not the game itself. “What's your IGN? We can co-op and raid together.”

It was a great idea, actually.

Partaking in one of his favorite hobbies and getting to know you better would be peak. Two birds with one stone. He’d take it slow, then he’d sweep you off your feet, impressing you with his gaming abilities, knocking your pride down a peg or two. You’d learn to like him too, he resolved.

He’s not all that bad if you left out—a lot of things.

“Sorry?”

You looked at him as if he grew another head.

Huh? What’s wrong? He felt his body starting to itch again.

Why the fuck were you looking at him like that?

You were supposed to want to get to know him too, weren’t you?

But the bell rings before he can say anything to you, and you scurry off, his eyes never leaving your figure until you are out of his sight.

Tomura was now scratching his neck furiously, drawing blood and reopening recently closed wounds, glaring at anyone who dared to so much as look at him in this moment.

He was wrong about you. How could he be wrong? He was never wrong.

But he was. You were exactly like the rest of them.

Stupid bitch.

It’s fine.

He’d find a way to teach you a lesson. ───────── The inside of the convenience store was dimly lit in comparison to the first time he’d met you on his errands, a soft fluorescent glow trying its best to light the store up instead of the bright neon lights that blinded him that day.

The air smelled like a blend of dirty mop water and tobacco, combining into a disgusting but familiar musty scent. Behind the counter wasn’t the usual cashier dude, but an old lady smoking inside the establishment. Tomura scoffed and figured it must’ve been the owner, unable to otherwise explain the audacity.

Fidgeting, he looked around the aisles at various food objects. Would instant noodles count as ‘easy on your stomach’? He’s never really had to care for anyone before, and he’s always had Kurogiri when it came to being cared for.

He shook his head, scrunching his nose and kept searching. It took him about two minutes of googling and another three of pacing around the aisles, his eyes lighting up the moment he finally spotted the canned article in question.

Unbeknownst to him, it was one of your favorite comfort foods.

Chicken soup.

#shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x y/n #emotional hurt/comfort #shigaraki tomura #unhealthy relationships #dead dove do not eat #trigger warnings #shigaraki tomura x reader #shigaraki fanfiction #shigaraki x you #tenko shimura #tomura shigaraki #college au #reader is female

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coldresolve · 1 month

Text

rambling again but now its about trans healthcare and mental health. and the danish nhs' take on both those things which is, yknow, shit

its less rambling and more of a rant bc im tired lol

i read a statistic today that suicidal ideation for trans people who sought medical transition but were denied treatment rose by 67%. which was affirming in the sense it made me realize that maybe im not a pussy for being pretty badly affected by my last 2 denials, but also its depressing in the sense of like, good god, please just allow me to access the healthcare i need. what the fuck

i was at my GP a week ago and asked for another referral, and he was like "well its only been 5 months since they refused you last time". and i told him they wouldn't even agree to the 6 month full team psych eval that preceeds any actual prescriptions of hrt, they just called me "unstable" after a 1 hour conversation in which i specifically directly told them that i know myself, i was in a stable place in my life, im settled in my decision, i know the risks, i'm well aware of the scope of treatment, this trans thing isn't some recent thing for me, etc etc. they called me "unstable" and denied even evaluating me for treatment, because i was only 3 months in remission from a major depressive episode. which isn't a good prognosis for a trans guy who's had to deal with chronic depression for the last decade and a half. when will i ever be "stable" then? it's not like they gave me a clear timeline. (also - as if being denied treatment ever helped any trans person with depression lol. again, that statistic huh). i told my GP i want to put pressure on them, because that's literally the only option i have right now for recieving healthcare. and even after telling him all this it took a good 10 minutes of conversation before he agreed to give me a referral

and im not an unreasonable person but if they refuse treatment again im gonna file a complaint with the patient rights thingy, even though i have never filed a complaint about anything before in my life. im willing to go to the media, idgaf. i just want to be treated for dysphoria instead of being left to deal with it on my own, in the way i have been since the first time they denied me. i'm not "unstable". its been a year. i want medical care. that's it.

and the most infuriating thing is, this whole process is kinda showing me exactly why i'm not alone in this? a THIRD of transgender danes get prescriptions and surgery referrals outside the nhs, either gendergp or the black market or whatever. i don't understand how more people aren't appalled by that statistic, in a fucking supposed welfare state. like what do you want us to do? "they're self medicating" say the danish critics of gendergp, and yep, that's how it works. a person with chronic pain who gets denied treatment will probably also look for alternatives. what else do you expect them to do? are they supposed to just... be miserable?

moreover, what do you expect low income trans people like me to do, who can't afford gendergp because the cost of living crisis + insufferable rent leaves us with basically no disposable income? yo, quick question, bøgens fædreland,

what the fuck do you want me to do

#other #sorry to rant about it on main #theres even more layers to it than this. i just needed to get the brunt of it out of my system

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chaisshitposts · 7 months

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What is your stronger side? I am very curius about psychk. I love this rabbit hole!

me rn bc you've induced some major brain vomit from me about this particular subject and I'm about infodump like a mf ^^^

aHHHH ME TOO!!! I'm hyperfixatin' on it 🕵️ I believe my stronger side is my right side, which presumably controls the left hemisphere of my brain aka the more logical side, which is BABIES because I'm a very creative, think outside of the triangle kinda person so I'd think I'm more of a right brainer. but it also kinda makes sense that I'm a lil' stronger in my right side since it's my dominant side and I do like to overanalyze & overthink things in a logical way (I need to change that belief as a matter of fact) 🤔 hoWevEr I have heard that it's important to use both sides of yer body to keep yer brain strong and lessens the chances of gettin' Alzheimer's and dementia (which I'm manifestin' a cure for both bc hell nah that shit is wack)

heads up, im about to ramble.

when I was readin' up on psych-k and the whole brain state, I stumbled across this new idea that's like 'brain gym' and I didn't think much of it until YESTERDAY when I was like... hm, are there other ways to make both sides of the brain work simultaneously while I'm awake??? cause psych-k is workin' for me and all but I'm sure there are other ways to communicate with both sides of my brain simultaneously to make affirmations stick in a much more efficient manner. when ya have both sides of yer brain workin' in harmony while affirmin' ya get like this deeper level of saturatin' yer mind aNd I wanted more of that bc it gives my brain the t i n g l e s. should also be mentioned that workin' yer entire brain is also a form of what can be referred to as 'super learnin' isn't that fuckin' gnarly??? i think it is. lIke could ya imagine that with this information now ya could literally just sit down and study somethin' with the utmost efficiency and whole brain thinkin' just by crossin' your damn ankles???????? wish I knew this shit when I was still in school--- wait nvm I'm still doin' classes.

there's this weird lil' exercise which is BASICALLY psych-k but ya stand up and do actual movements (super weird but also kinda fun for my monkey brain) iTs cALlEd the cross-crawl and there's a whole bunch of benefits for it (imma copy paste them below) this is all from this website I tried it for a few seconds yesterday and it was weird and cringey so I stopped but imma try it out again today for science 🧍

• Build your core strength

• Release stress and tension

• Enhance whole-brain thinking (get your left and right hemispheres to work together)

• Calm your mind

• Energize your body

it's pretty much a lil' funny dance where ya march side to side— its an actual exercise so y'know

ANYWAYS, it should be known that I am an avid method hopper because all methods work for me and I can do anything I want and it still works, sO I was thinkin' of a crazy ass combination of methods that involves psych-k, cross-crawling, and reverse psychology from @/charmedreincarnation which they described in detail in this post

this sounds insane and all over the place, I know, but I can't help it its because of how my brain chemistry works 😭 im like a mad scientist with manifestation methods at this point

BUT BUT BUT BEFORE I FORGET!!! THERES ANOTHER EXERCISE THAT STIMULATES BOTH SIDES OF THE BRAIN AND INVOLVES ONLY YER HANDS. This bad boy right here

also... why did I find another brain synchronization exercise video... I need to slow my road. but here it is anyways

I had no idea Tai Chi was a form of brain synchronization exercise holy shit???? but ig that makes sense since it is a state of meditation

i could have infodumped WAY more but I forgot most of the other things I wanted to say... 🤡 TY FOR ASKIN' THIS QUESTION!!! ask me more questions if ya want me to info dump again, I'll try to keep my thoughts organized

#— chai's asks. !! ~#— anonnie. !! ~#ty for askin' anon bc now i have to write all of this down like a maniac #— chai rambles. !!~#my autism is showing #brb about to go wax on and wax off while affirming 😭#AYO JACKIE CHAN WAS ONTO SOMETHIN' IN KARATE KID???#should i make a post about brain exercises

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thesunshineriptide · 2 years

Note

What do you think the TWST boys would major in college?

Oooooooo good question. Im gonna answer kinda quick as to why. I’m also throwing some people in here I genuinely don’t think would go to college/back to college but what I think they’d do instead. Thank you for the question!!

Can’t the Future Just Wait?

Characters: Riddle, Trey, Cater, Ace, Deuce, Leona, Ruggie, Jack, Azul, Jade, Floyd, Kalim, Jamil, Vil, Epel, Rook, Idia, Ortho, Malleus, Silver, Lilia, Sebek

Cw// swearing, talk of mental health, talk of characters past, mentions of criminal activity and death

Heartslabyul:

Riddle

He’d start college majoring in medicine to be a magical healer, then he would probably end up switching to law because it’s something he’s more passionate about. He then ends up double majoring in Law and Psychology

Trey

Would start college undecided, ends up actually majoring for a psych degree. Riddles overblot traumatized his ass so badly that he wants to be able to help people before they get to that point. He attends culinary classes in his free time, but doesn’t minor in anything.

Cater

I don’t think he would go to college, but I do think he’d end up taking a course online to get a certification in social media management but other than that. I think he works as a social media manager most of the time, either for a big company or for himself as a YouTuber, and then probably teaches guitar to kids for extra cash.

Ace

Ace would be tryina go to college on a basketball sponsorship and end up as a philosophy major. He broke his leg in one game and that basically ended his career so now he’s gotta pick something else and philosophy is an easy degree. Eventually drops out and works for Azul instead

Deuce

Deuce has said he wants to be a magic police officer man so he’s doing whatever that entails in twisted wonderland. I’m from America and our police training is like 6 weeks long and you don’t need a degree but I’d imagine it’s very different based on what everyone says. I 100% think he achieves this goal though

Savanaclaw:

Leona

He wouldn’t go to college except for the fact that he doesn’t wanna go back to the sunset savanna so he decides to major in political science and minor in linguistics. He spends another 7 years completing a 4 year degree before he just goes home. Ends up being the diplomatic emissary for his kingdom and improves relations incredibly fast

Ruggie

Ruggie is going where Leona is going, so he’s an undecided major for the first two years, just taking any classes that line up with Leona’s schedule, then ends up finishing his time by majoring in social work and community development. Uses these skills to take Leona’s money and sink it into his community at home

Jack

I feel like he’s at trade school learning to be a carpenter. When he’s done he probably lives off the grid in a cabin in the forest making handmade chairs and selling them and his homegrown fruits and veggies at the farmers market/art fairs

Octavinelle:

Azul

He majors in business, minors in music. It should work but it does and he excels in both classes. Probably ends up running like five businesses and making a fuckton of money. Once he graduates he takes a year off to travel, then goes back to college to get another degree in culinary arts, with a minor in graphic design. He doesn’t worry about money because he’s a loan shark at school.

Jade

He majors in forensic science and minors in botany. When he graduates he ends up working for Azul again, but not with the degree. Ends up going back to college two more times, once to get a degree in pathology (which is easy, as forensics translate well to that) then to trade school to get a degree in culinary arts. This perturbs everyone he goes to school with. Ends up being a chef at one of Azul’s restaurants.

Floyd

He goes for basketball, then gets bored, switches his major like 50 times, then decides to drop out and work Azul instead. Jade gives him tips on how to avoid…conflict. Azul pays him well and continues to be amusing so Floyd continues working for him.

Scarabia:

Kalim

Kalim goes to college for astrology. He doesn’t minor in anything. He gets his associates degree and calls it quits and goes home to do Kalim things. Literally never uses his degree

Jamil

Jamil doesn’t go to school, but he does spend a few years training in martial arts. After he’s done and finds out that - hey, no, you don’t have to be responsible for Kalim - then he goes to college to become a dancer. Vil hires him to be a backup dancer for him in both music videos and on tour

Pomefiore:

Vil

I’m torn on saying he doesn’t go to school and saying he becomes a triple major. Here’s the thing, artists popular in their youth are kind of a limited time commodity until they’re like, 50 and get popular again. So Vil going to college is simultaneously a great investment and a horrible decision. I think in the end he takes non-credit college classes in film, production, music, visual art, and graphic design, but never gets a degree. He does use the classes to further his art though.

Rook

He majors in Ethology. He gets a doctorate in it. He doesn’t use this in a professional setting. Becomes a private eye instead.

Epel

Tries to go home instead of college but his family insists he goes. Ends up majoring in agricultural studies and minoring in alchemy. Uses this to create magical gmos and stretch crops in a way that could be supplementary to food deserts.

Ignihyde:

Idia

He doesn’t need to go to college, or want to go to college, so instead he just codes video games. His games are massively popular and spawn several franchises. He also creates the twisted wonderland equivalent of five nights at Freddy’s

Ortho

Can he go to college? He says he can! Majors in history and minors in English. Uses his degree to tutor kids online

Diasomnia:

Malleus

He goes to college because Lilia insists that he should. He majors in creative writing and minors in analog technology (verses Technomancy). He doesn’t use this to further his kingdom, but instead himself. He ends up penning beautiful poetry and releasing it under a fake name. He takes the analog technology course so he can always repair his tamagotchi

Silver

Because of Lilia’s insistence (and malleus attendance) he goes to college as well. He starts in creative writing but he finds that magical healing sounds really appealing and transfers to that with Lilia and Malleus’s blessings. He becomes insanely talented at it and in particular studies similar cases to his affliction to find a cure. It also comes in hand as one of Malleus’s retainers.

Lilia

He majors in teaching and specifically zones in on either teaching elementary school or on history. Tries to take a course in culinary arts as well, he is banned from this. Once Silver and Sebek are grown, he uses his degree to get back to work and teach a younger generation.

Sebek

I want to say he does whatever Malleus does, but I don’t think it’s true. I think he studies marine biology. Probably infodumps everything about it to everyone who will listen. This doesn’t come in handy in any way, but he’s passionate so it doesn’t matter

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sizzlingpatrolfox · 5 months

Note

https://x.com/jmnluv13/status/1730887795676479930?s=46

The narrative that majority of jokers are Jimin biased was always so funny to me. I still have my old jikook account and when I checked it I saw how many of them had Seven above Lc on their Spotify wrapped and Lc was released much earlier.

If they were Jimin biased they wouldn’t be jokers anymore. Look at Jimin biased armys, many of them ar starting to speak up about the unfair treatment while jokers are whining because we don’t like Jungkook and his privilaged ass.

Jimin biased jikookers have been mass leaving the ship since 2018 because of the Japan issue.

2019 because of mijoo.

2020 2021 2022 taekook being in their honeymoon era.

Jikookers are mad pjms don't kiss their asses, that's it. They want pjms to be their allies and they literally beg for pjms validation all the time.

That's why you don't see them demanding anything from Jungkook's fanbases, because they actually dgaf what they think of Jimin or how they hate on him 24/7, like how that bighit tweet is full of people hating on him right now. But they're not making "pls don't hate on Jimin" tweets about that, are they? No army is, the way none of them cared either when that Jimin CNN article came out after face calling him the biggest solo debut and the qrts were just hate.

They want pjms on their side because seeing hate against Jungkook hurts them, while they're literally just okay with people hating on Jimin.

They're also desperate to make their "jikook it boys" tweets, that's why they want pjms to include Jungkook in their tweets lmao. And I hope no pjm ever includes him. I know they used to, but they should stop because nobody is looking out for Jimin, I don't know why they're doing others favors by mentioning them in good spirits. If jikookers want to make their jikook it boys tweets, they should maybe have fanbases that do more than tweet "you're me im you" three times a day. Maybe this psych ward escapee herself should get her own account to hype them together instead of fighting air about an imaginary romantic relationship.

I won't even get into how her and another jikooker are making fun of Jimin with that "4th gen" comment.

Yes, Jimin had a very successful KOREAN song that he wrote and composed himself, in an album that he wrote and composed himself for a year while Jungkook had a successful English song about fucking women seven days a week.

One is objectively more admirable than the other.

Anyways. Tell me this doesn't sound like mental illness...

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bokutosbiceps · 11 months

Note

Hi! I'd like make a request for Free! about a foreign exchange student that Rin takes under his wing, and help her out with the language and customs and not feeling so lonely in a place distant from home, bc it's something he wish he had back in Australia, and they become close friends! It can be headcanons or a drabble, what feels better for you~

of course, my dear anon! you know what bothers me, though? does rin actually go to school in australia? i’ve looked through every piece of canon literature i can find but none of them confirm that rin does anything esle but train/swim in australia…he doesn’t swim for a university either so IM CONFUSED. but i like to hc that rin goes to college + majors in like human processes, psych, or kinesiology 😜anywaysssss, i hope you enjoy !! i’m doing hc for these.

ps. i didn’t know if you wanted there to be a relationship so i kept it platonic. just send another ask if anyone wants a pt 2 that’s romantic !!

matsuoka rin is like your knight in shining armor. from the moment you were introduced to him by his college advisor, he made a vow to himself that he would make you feel at home here

he remembers how tough it was for him when he moved to australia by himself + he didn’t want anyone to feel that way, no one deserved that

he gets very comfortable with you very quickly, often showing up at your place unannounced to invite you somewhere

you learn about his past quicker than what might seem appropriate but he felt like sharing it w you to help you feel more comfortable around him + kind of explain why he’s so doting

rin makes it his mission to show you everything there is to see, teach you all there is to know, and experience all there is to experience about sydney!

most days after classes, he’ll ask you to accompany him downtown so you guys can try out a new spot, whether it be for coffee or food or sweets. you quickly learn he does not like sweets from the way he lets whatever dessert he ordered sit there in front of him

every weekend you guys will either go hiking somewhere new or explore another corner of new south wales that you hadn’t visited before

rin teaches you to love the outdoors if you didn’t already, because you’re practically out with him from dawn till dusk

ofc, he wants to teach you how to swim !! he doesn’t take you to where he trains though—he feels like his teammates can be overbearing + doesn’t want you to feel put off by them

you guys go to the beach often + you mostly stay on the shore + watch him in the water

sometimes he begs you to get in w him so you indulge him + you both have more fun that way :)

rin sometimes serves as your translator for words that you can’t quite grasp yet + for that you are eternally grateful

once rin figures out when your birthday is, he will make sure you feel super special on that day. he invites all of his friends + your friends + plans a surprise party at your favorite restaurant so far

whenever you’re sick he takes care of you 100% he gathers all of your notes from classes you missed, he lets all of your professors know you’re not feeling well, he practically lives on your couch so he’s there for whatever you need

he’s just all around so lovely omg can i be you

#free!#matsuoka rin #matsuoka rin x reader #rin x reader

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11queensupreme11 · 5 months

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hey! i've been following you through tsunami from the last six months and made my way here after the introduction of arsenic blues and i've learned to treat your words as gospel bc ur a literal genius!!!

anyways you've mentioned that (correct me if i'm wrong) you are going the psycharity route through a psychology major. funny enough i've been considering psychiatry for a while as i know that i want to be in the medical field and this route aligns best with my interests.

anyways i was wondering about the route you're taking and any insider tips and tricks (of sorts) that you have. i'm totally dreading med school and the MCAT and essentially the entire academic process. (i would totally consider being a therapist and going more that route but i do want to learn a lot of the emergency aid as a backup and for like practical purposes and also i need that salary in this economy...)

anyways, so what classes do you feel is the best in helping you (or the most interesting lol)? what about the major bc im worried that biochem or something else will give me a lot of unnecessary classes that only may or may not help me on the mcat? how do you manage your time and study in general?

anything helps! (this is going to be so embarrassing if i get some of the facts wrong lol)

i haven't taken the mcat yet or prepped for it, but this man i knew HEAVILY recommended using the kaplan mcat prep books because that helped him the most

this is the link but dont buy it until you're ready to start studying

as for classes, i can't really tell you which classes you take because it all depends in your school. i do suggest to check your college website to see if it has a page with a list of recommended classes needed for med school. if there's no page, then please PLEASE go talk to a guidance counselor/advisor so they could tell you what premed courses to take

i think it'd be easier to major in biology cuz a lot of classes required for the major also fall under the requirements for med school! i just really really really like psychology more, so i decided to major in that. you can do that too, but just be aware you'd be taking classes for your GE requirements, major requirements, AND premed requirements. you most likely won't be able to graduate within the timeframe you want.

when you're picking your classes for the semester tho.... pls don't stack together all your stem courses like i'm doing lol. i'm taking a bio with lecture and lab, an anthro class with lecture and lab, a calculus class, and some psych classes. unless you're absolutely certain that you can handle the stress, i suggest you take a few stem classes and a few non-stem classes to even it out.

(beware that if you do shit in the semester, you'll be put in academic probation 💀)

another thing you should note, there are two types of med school: an md (doctor of medicine) and DO (doctor of osteopathic medicine). do is the "easier" (it's actually not, just easier compared to md) path and not as competitive. psychiatry is both MD and DO friendly which is good, but the issue is that some residency programs are elitist and look down on DOs 🙄

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, FIND CLINICAL EXPERIENCE!!! i can't help you with that because i haven't done any yet 💀

actually i was wrong, this is the most important: GET SCHOLARSHIPS!!!! AND GRANTS!!!! MEDICAL SCHOOL IS PRICY!!!!

#👸🏻| asks

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courtofmatchups · 9 months

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hi! i've sent this to a couple other of my favorite COD writers, but it's a psycho-analysis thing on guy that i wanted to share as im curious about other's thoughts. i should mention that i am a psych student with a special interest in male psychological trauma and "toxic masculinity" (put in quotes because idk the scientific term for it Imao)

warnings for slight spoilers, i don't believe there's much of anything too triggering, just some mention of sexism in avari, and parental/generational trauma, but nothing too detailed.

(and j*sper jumpscare at the end but it's just slander)

this also isn’t at all and excuse for abuse or anything of the sort, and that’s not what i specialize in either; it’s more like a deeper analysis of internalized sexism, now if guy did anything on the level of j*sper or got physical or anything, i would not be writing this.

so, guy starts off very controlling (literally using mind control), but when you play his route + events (specifically the ones where he goes to avari) a much deeper story unfolds.

it is my understanding that avari has very different thoughts on women, and we even see guy tell MC that his father told him all women are cruel and only want power. i believe guy has been told all his life negative things about women, and that all he has seen was his father marry for power after his mother passed. we also see in a route that guy was much more open when his mom was alive, but closed his heart to everyone when she was killed. it is also seen that guy assumed his mother was murdered by other women. so, Guy has been told all his life these things about women, ever since he was a child, and never had the chance to see any differently as he never opened up to another woman until MC.

now this is where the beauty comes in. after a while, guy begins to truly love MC for herself and not just her power, and even tells her what he was told about women and says she changed that. guy was able to swallow his ego and be emotionally open to MC and begin to see her as an individual and not just a vessel for power. guy defends her to her father and tells him off saying that he truly loves her and no other, and it is not just because of her power, and that she will make a fine queen. we see him praise her throughout his stories and events, and through his thoughts we see he is truly a changed man who has changed his outlook on women through his love for MC.

although he is not yet open to fully sharing his thoughts quite yet, we see that he is actively working on himself for MC.

we also see a boyish side come out of him during these emotional moments, that i believe to be trauma regression and suppressed feelings that he has had to endure due to the excessively violent and aggressive nature of avari. i truly think guy's initial act towards MC is due to trauma and abuse he suffered in avari, and he only begun realizing he was lied to and was wrong about women through his relationship with MC. guy is actually my favorite character because of this, and i think it's truly a beautifully complex story that the creators made.

also, i love how his toxic masculinity was turned around and how it tells the story that growing up in such a toxic environment can truly damage a man.

thank you for reading my long ass ramble about a fictional character in a mobile game that i am utterly obsessed with.

Thanks for confirming that this man DESPERATELY NEEDS THERAPY

Real talk, tho. I am not a psychology major (psychology is more of a special interest of mine, so take what I say with a grain of salt. Or a kilogram. idk), but I can say that all of your points are valid. Growing up in a toxic environment will mess someone up, especially as a child. Bro basically grew up indoctrinated by the Saligian version of Andrew Tate's pHILosOPhY (for lack of a better term) and seeing that view on women unfold his eyes over and over again probably gave him a lot of trust issues too.

I do kind of appreciate that, despite him being very rough around the edges, his character was still ultimately salvageable. I just kind of wish we had the chance to explore his backstory more in his own consort path tho, cuz I feel that bit was a bit rushed. Or maybe it wasn't and I'm remembering wrong? Feel free to correct me on this. It's been a hot minute since I read his consort path

I still don't really like Guy, at least not as a consort, but I do appreciate his character growth, and you really hit the nail on the head

#court of darkness #otome #guy avari #not my usual stuff #i do like this character analysis of guy tho #maybe me appreciating his character development is also my character development #ithseem writes #court of darkness x reader #makai nightmare #court of matchups #man'z has trust issues and daddy issues up the wazoo

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drifloonz · 1 year

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Hi! I'm usually not one to send asks all that often, but what the heck. I'm kinda curious about your thoughts on something too since I've seen a lot of differing opinions.

Steven. Obviously Miki's accident and Missingno annihilated his sanity, but I feel like Mike's ghost also haunts him. Not in a malicious way, but just by existing. He just really wants to understand why Steven had to do that to him but whenever he attempts to reach out Steven flips due to guilt. I've seen someone's headcanon where Steven is this cold-hearted bastard who never cared about Mike, even as kids, and idk. It just doesn't sit right with me. Nothing wrong with it I'm just wondering how many other people share that sentiment vs Steven feeling immense guilt at being so blinded by rage that he'd murder his own brother and basically sell his soul.

Sorry if this is too much, I tend to ramble 😅

HI!! you were my actual first ask but i didn't see this one at first until i was writing the other one and out of the corner of my eye saw this and went "wait a minute." funny how that happens.

ANYWAYS i can definitely do that for you and ALSO do not apologize i ramble so much as well its fine. this'll be so long i apologize so im putting most of it under a read more !

cw for Bad mental health, strangling/murder obviously, and also some suicidal ideation ( which is warned for in the paragraph its shown in ).

i think steven just sort of like... blocks it off and tries to forget everything about that ever happened, but obviously, you cant forget that stuff that easily. it haunts him but he tries to push it as far back to his head as he can and he tries to forget SOOO hard... he's in intense denial. i like the art of him immediately regretting it but i think he'd just stare at mikes corpse for a few minutes and then just be like. scarred by the imagery, and it'd make him breathe heavily and make his eyes widen in regret and he'd just keep staring for a few minutes. but he'd just run away afterward and it just burns into his mind sometimes, making him remember and regret it.

as someone with mental illness of Horribly Bad amounts, when someone you trust like that betrays you or you believe them to betray you ( which, its the ladder for steven and mike, mike obviously didn't intend to kill miki whether or not you believe he initiated the trade with slightly malicious/selfish intent or not ) it does bad damage to your psyche. especially when the murder of someone you care for is involved, which makes the thinking in steven's brain go "oh mike murdered miki. intentionally or not he's the reason she's dead." and then that makes him very upset towards mike mixed with someone he sorta looked up to betray him like that. he just regressed hard and went thru a depressive spiral for a whole year, having the thing he most loved taken away from him so suddenly almost entirely without his control, and then he got so tired of bottling it up he snapped ( lol ) and killed mike.

suicidal thoughts cw for this paragraph: and also during the 1 year without miki, steven obviously went through a major depressive episode and a sort of downwards spiral that just got worse and worse, and i don't think he wanted to get better. this is heavy but i sort of think he just hoped neglecting his self-care would eventually kill him and reunite him with his miki again, which is all he wanted. he didn't eat much if at all and he just sat in front of miki's grave, sometimes for days. he made a bed out of his misery, because it felt comfortable in a morbid way. if he died, he'd reunite with her, because at that point he didn't know anything could bring her back and all he wanted was her. it felt better than just... getting over it, or trying to. people convinced him to take better care of himself, but he still barely did anything past his necessities. this didn't help his mental state at all, as you can probably tell, which also fueled his hatred towards mike after the incident more and more. he made himself suffer this much due to an accident he caused, and he used that as further reasoning to dislike him, even though that was all self-inflicted.

i also like to think they didn't hate each other genuinely before this - mike never genuinely hated steven, but steven after the incident probably had Many complex feelings towards mike, mostly negative. but before the incident, they definitely had arguments and spats, and sometimes one would say something that would genuinely hurt the other ( usually steven did this to mike more than viceversa imo but both happened ) which both of them also probably bottled up and didnt talk about a lot ( although mike'd definitely apologize if he ever went too far - steven, i feel like would be too guilty and nervous to apologize ) which also sort of exploded in steven's face after miki died in front of him. those 3 things mixing together did not make a good combo for him.

the interp of missingno needing souls or steven at least thinking it does is fun but i like to think it never did and steven was just going through a horrendous downward spiral, and he went back home bc... where else would he go, he'd still have to pack the rest of his stuff to leave if he intended to, and seeing mike so vulnerable flipped a switch in steven's mind and made him just go [ steven voice ] "You know what would be funny?" ( worst way to describe that but u get it ). this can also arguably be missingnos influence or missingno possessing steven, which i feel is more plausible then it needing a sacrifice. but i think it just probably inserts or pushes forward steven's intrusive and aggressive thoughts, which i like to believe he always had especially after the incident, but never this bad. and then he just did it bc the thoughts wouldn't leave him alone and his mind convinced himself into it. even though he already had miki and didn't need to do that, it felt... fitting, to him. it was satisfying for a moment, especially because i like the interpretation that his mind warped mikes dying expression into him looking like he's laughing at steven ( explaining his hyplull sprites when hes being strangled being so weird ), until his mind realized the damage he just did, seeing mikes glazed over expression that was very much not smiling or laughing, and he went "oh. shit" in his head probably. his mind couldn't even comprehend what he just did. it'd take a lot of processing, and he didn't even want to process any of that, so after staring for a bit he just walked away from the scene and escaped to never be seen again.

i also like the interpretation that steven thought mike didn't actually care that much about miki dying or even did the trading thing on purpose - he clearly didn't kill her on purpose, but steven was so blinded by his own muddled emotions and rage and he needed an outlet, someone to blame, so he couldn't see it any other way and CONVINCED himself that mike did that on purpose. also because admittedly in canon mike saying that he needed a charizard implies he already had a charmeleon but thats muddy territory and probably just slightly a plot hole. but if that was the case i bet steven was like "... just evolve the charmeleon?" "but that'd take too looooong!" or something like that. mike is impatient as hell fr fr mans got adhd

if you want a good take on this and havent already, read faulty on ao3 . i hate ao3 for various reasons and only go there when im Parched for content. but goddamn that fic has the best characterization of the two imo, especially of this dynamic of them specifically along with their other relationships ( namely daisy and reds relationship to steven and mike too ) - steven even sometimes goes through like being slightly better around mike and then it all drops when he realizes she died for nothing, and mike didnt even finish the dex. fucking phenomenal fic tbh i love this characterization of them sm. a lot of this summarizes how i think they'd both act after the incident

____

as for the haunting... yeaaa. i think steven's just way too scarred and confused and scared to even allow mike to properly reach out, if steven even realizes it. i like to think he's paranoid and overthinks so he probably goes "oh god what if its mike" and then woopsy daisy! It is mike. and he just tries to pretend its nothing so bad and to ignore and avoid him because he's scared and confused and it makes him think far too long about his emotions on the situation that he was intentionally bottling up and pushing to the back of his head.

he also probably would think mike would try to revenge kill him because that's just how he thinks he himself would react if mike did that to him. Which makes him regret things further. he sleeps less due to this, usually on the defensive even though mike has no intent to harm him. i don't think mike ever had any room in his heart to ever hate steven. he's just confused or slightly upset at worst at anything steven's said or done to him... mike probably doesn't even really blame him, but he does just hope he's ok and prob lets out a sigh of relief when he finds steven, who is still a mess going through many things, and also murderous now, but he's still alive! which is a win in mikes book i guess!

he probably just tries to pretend mike isn't actually there or actively get rid of him, or he wouldn't even notice mike is haunting him in the first place, depending on how obvious the signs of the haunting are. his house is already sort of run down and haunted as fuck anyways, but in the back of his head he knows somethings off.

i also ... like the interp that steven took all of mikes team bc nobody was there to care for them anymore. so maybe when steven notices he sends out mikes blastoise or some of his other party members and hopes to god mike leaves him alone to go bother his own pokemon who he hasn't seen for years. after all, he basically never let mikes mons out of their ball, and even considered donating them all to professor oak or something ( probably just.. leaving the pokeballs out infront of the lab one day ) but that felt wrong, so he always kept them on hand. sometimes feeding them and not much else. mike probably had a ghost type ( gengar ) who can conveniently probably see him, and mike definitely would try to communicate to steven further through said ghost type. and he'd just be like. "gdi why did i send out the ghost type" in his mind.

miki can definitely see mikes ghost. mike is also like "OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU. WAIT YOUR ALIVE????" in his head, but he quickly gets used to it. he has no idea what the hell a missingno is or how/why she's alive but he just stops questioning it. they sometimes share a glance and nod. mike will sometimes avert his gaze from her due to guilt though. miki doesn't seem to care or hold resent, probably because imo 'M ( however you want to spell Missingno Miki ) isn't actually miki. it's missingno sort of possessing, haunting, or keeping miki's dead corpse alive, but her soul is no longer there anymore. at least most of it Isn't there. due to that she's a lot more emotionless. even if miki's soul was in there though, she would not hold genuine resent. if miki's soul was in there she'd probably be scared of steven ( specifically yk S!3V3N ) tbh

i definitely think steven has hallucinations sometimes, usually of miki or mikes corpses, usually much more horrifying looking than they actually were, so this doesn't help!

steven overall is just on the fence and regrets it all but doesn't even wanna think abt or interact w mike but if he somehow became more okay with it, he might start leaving mike notes or something. or talking to himself, assuming mike might overhear. small steps like that. and maybe if mike is able to sometimes steven just passes out on the couch or smth and mike covers him in a blanket while hes asleep and stevens just like. "That was not there when I fell asleep." in his head. stuff like that.

also mike might switch the tv channels or just Project an image onto it somehow. and steven just. squints at it. i think it'd be nice if they eventually got used to eachothers presence again and just silently hung around eachother. mike really wants to look after steven after seeing the state he's in and how much he didn't really help steven effectively when mike was alive. for an example probably, like, nudging the bathroom door open and turning on the bathwater and trying to make steven take a mfing bath and practice self care for once and steven just begrudgingly sighs and goes to do it since he might as well. and mike just walks away and is very smug about it. he Will make his little brother practice self care again and he's made that his personal goal. steven walking into the kitchen and seeing various pots and pans floating around along with a mess on the floor ( mikes getting used to his levitation powers still </3 ) and he just squints his eyes and leaves and comes back and theres a meal on the counter

steven making pancakes and he just holds out a plate for mike and he just takes it. and steven just sees the plate floating and goes "yea thats about what i expected" or smth. its cute, Although i cant see that happening very easily unfortunately </3 steven is very broken and very much Not wanting to think abt mike. so itd take very long for him to warm back up or even be ok with him possibly existing arnd him. but this'd prob happen eventually if mike is persistent, and by god, is mike persistent. its what got him into this mess in the first place.

i can write so much abt these depressed ex champions fr!!! anyways thank you for reading sorry for writing so much words. i hope this feeds you enough content for the next winter. i hope literally any of this made sense bc i just sorta typed my thought processes until it looked legible - wispy

#wispy writes #steven strangled red #strangled red #mike strangled red #pokepasta #headcanons #ramblings #tldr; read faulty on ao3 for a very good fic w good characterization on both steven and mike after the incident bc that just captures it #ghost mike is such a funny concept bc i like to think he might mess w steven but in very small prank ways #long post btw. like looong post. i talk and ramble way 2 much i apologize

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