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cobaltperun · 3 months

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Woe out the Storm (2) - Paint it black

Wednesday Addams x female Reader

Summary: It took some time, but eventually you came to realize only Wednesday Addams could look at the raging storm of chaos and destruction and make a home out of it. Only she could listen to the cacophony of the roaring thunder and hear a melody.

Story warnings: Wednesday Addams, violence, slow burn

Story Masterlist / First part / Next part

Word count: 4.3k

-I look inside myself and see my heart is black-

The very first thing that greeted you when you came back to your room after lunch was a tape splitting what used to be Enid's part of the room right down the middle. 'She works fast, but was the tape really necessary?' you wondered and chose to stay in Enid's side for a moment. You glance to the right, and there it was, another tape, separating your part of the room from Wednesday's.

"You're not expecting me to build a bridge or fly across somehow, are you?" you asked jokingly, complete with a small grin on your face. Not that Wednesday saw it, as she was busy peeling off the colorful decoration from the window. When you left the room before the large window looked like a flower, but now Wednesday's half started looking more and more like a spider's web.

"That would be asinine. I expect you to keep your belongings in your part of the room and to minimize the time spent in my part of the room," you were more surprised she answered, but that sounded reasonable.

Maybe it was your imagination, but the tips of her fingers seemed a bit red. Was she actually allergic to color? "I can work with that," you replied to her earlier statement and walked over to her. She definitely noticed you approaching, even if she didn't spare a single glance toward you. Upon closer look, you confirmed her fingers were a bit red. So, without a word, you stepped into her side of the room and began peeling the stickers off.

"What are you doing?" she asked with the tiniest hint of surprise in her voice. Just a tiny, barely noticeable shift in her tone.

"Scratching the window, it told me it had an itch somewhere around here," you looked up at her, dead serious as you said that, and just for good measure you lightly scratched the part of the window that still had the stickers on.

Wednesday paused and stared at you, without blinking. Once. Well, if that was how she was going to be. "Don't worry, I won't disappear if you blink," you grinned a bit and caught the minuscule twitch of her brow at that.

"You are irritating," she simply stated and went back to clearing the window.

You shrugged. "I can live with that," she didn't tell you to stop, or go away, so you continued until her half of the window was completely bare. After that, you just grabbed the discarded decorations and threw them into a trash bag. "A bit of a warning, I don't think Enid will like this change of scenery."

"You have your parts of the room, I have mine," you looked at the shorter girl to see her glaring at you.

"That goes without saying, and Enid agrees with that. I'm just saying the first reaction might not be supportive," you explained because you really didn't want to make Wednesday feel like she needed to defend herself. Or however she was feeling at the moment because you couldn't read how she felt to save your life. Maybe she was being defensive, maybe she was irritated, maybe she felt an entirely different negative emotion you had no idea even existed.

The glare lost some of its edge, but she glanced at the spot you were standing on, which was in her part of the room.

"Right, got it," you gave her a thumb up and stepped over the tape into your side of the room.

~X~

And then Enid came in, with the grace and patience of someone who came back home to an unwanted guest after a bad day at work and horrible traffic. "What the hell did you do to my room?!" she demanded, immediately turning toward Wednesday.

Wednesday, who was sitting at her table, turned her chair so she could face Enid. "I divided our room equally. It looks like a rainbow vomited on your side," maybe you imagined it, but you could have sworn there was a small tremble in her voice.

Worried about things possibly escalating you placed a bookmark to mark the page you were on and got up from your bed. You moved to the border and leaned sideways against the wall.

"Why did you let her? Better yet, why did you help her?" Enid automatically turned her attention toward you.

"Because it's her part of the room?" you raised an eyebrow, really hoping Enid would think about this rationally. "Half of that oversized window is hers."

"A third of it is," Enid corrected you.

"Okay, then half of mine is yours and the other half is hers. I don't care about the custody over the spider web flower window," you just wanted the first night to remain peaceful. Was that too much to ask?

"I-" Enid tried to say something.

Wednesday didn't let her. "Silence would be appreciated. This is my writing time," she turned back to her table and you finally noticed the typewriter. You were slowly piecing some things together now.

"Your writing time?" Enid asked, momentarily forgetting about the almost argument over the window.

It slipped your mind that Wednesday easily had fifteen minutes between clearing out her side of the window and Enid's arrival and that she was only now getting ready to start her writing time.

"I devote an hour a day to my novel," she clarified and you couldn't help but nod. That was some dedication. "Perhaps if you did the same your vlog might be coherent. I've read serial killer diaries with better punctuation."

You covered your eyes and raised your head. There goes the peaceful night. "Well, that was uncalled for," you sighed, unaware that the goth girl glanced at you for a split second.

"I write in my voice. It's my truth. It's what my followers love," Enid became defensive, and with Wednesday already intent on arguing her point it was as if all three of you were running head-first into a wall.

Wednesday stood up and approached Enid. "Your followers are clearly imbeciles. They respond to your stories with insipid little pictures."

Right, at this point, there was nothing you could do, you only wished you had popcorn for the chaos that could easily ensue.

"Uh, you mean emojis? It's how people express their feelings you know? I realize that's a foreign concept to you," Enid retorted.

Your jaw dropped a bit and you could just look at Enid, flabbergasted.

"When I look at you the following emojis come to mind. Rope, shovel, hole," Wednesday turned around. "By the way, there are two Ds in Addams. If you're going to gossip about me, at least spell my name correctly," she said as she went back to her table.

You let out a sigh of relief and were about to go back to your book. Which meant you didn't see Enid turning the music on. Much to your horror and Wednesday's irritation, Enid started dancing to the music. Any other time you'd be fine with this, you liked Enid having fun and being passionate about something. This just wasn't the time.

"Turn that off. This is your final warning," Wednesday didn't even try to conceal the threat as she stomped back to Enid.

"Okay, let's just settle down!" you got between them, somehow standing right in the middle of the room.

Enid roared and her claws came out. "Don't mess with me. This kitty's got claws and I'm not afraid to use them," Enid threatened back and considering the way Wednesday wasn't even flinching you couldn't help but question your decision to get between them.

Luckily, the doors opened and Thornhill entered, saving you from untimely doom.

"Good evening, girls! Oh, sorry about the mud. I wanted to make sure that Wednesday was settling in," no one was interrupting her, but she definitely noticed the tension in the room as you turned around and took a few steps back. You and Thornhill, well, you didn't have a great start. "Ah. Is this a bad time? I'm Miss Thornhill, your dorm mom. Apologies I wasn't there to greet you when you arrived. I trust Enid and Y/N have given you the old Nevermore welcome."

"They've been smothering me with hospitality," Wednesday replied and you could already sense the morbid continuation. "I hope to return the favor. In their sleep," there it was. She didn't even think twice about saying it.

"How about no?" you asked.

"Sleep with one eye open," she stated evenly, her eyes still fixated on Thornhill.

You threw your arms up in the air, looking at her incredulously. "What did I even do?!"

Wednesday looked back at you. "Plenty."

That didn't answer anything!

Thornhill faked a cough, bringing Wednesday's attention back to her. "Well, here's a little gift from my conservatory," she handed her a black flower. "I try to match the right flower to each of my girls. When I read your personal statement in your application, I immediately thought of this one."

"The black dahlia," Wednesday recognized it, hell, she even sounded impressed.

Thornhill's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh, you know it?"

"Of course, it's named after my favorite unsolved murder. Thank you.,

Thornhill clasped her hands together. "Okie-dokie. oh, before I leave I want to go over a few house rules. Lights off at 10:00, no loud music, and no boys, ever, or girls with those intentions in mind," she listed off the most important ones.

Wednesday, however, wasn't interested in any of those rules. "What's the story about going into the local town?"

"Passes to Jericho are a privilege, not a right. It's a brisk 25-minute walk, or there's a shuttle on the weekends," Thornhill explained. "The locals are a tad bit wary about Nevermore, so please don't go making any waves or perpetuating any outcast stereotypes. That means keep your claws to yourself, don't go electrocuting people, and no smothering people in their sleep. Are we clear? Great talk!" Thornhill left the three of you alone, but the damage was already done.

You tried to ignore Wednesday looking at you and just went back to your book.

"She was defending Xavier on the previous Outreach day," Enid explained.

"Enid!" you exclaimed, looking at her. There was no need to explain to anyone what happened that day. "It doesn't matter," you still electrocuted those four. As far as you were concerned the conversation was over.

Fifteen minutes later your phone buzzed next to you and you saw it was a message from Enid. You lowered your book and raised an eyebrow at her. She just shrugged and motioned toward your phone.

You gave in and opened the message. It just said 'Sorry 😓' and you stared at it, puzzled.

You: Shouldn't you say that to Wednesday?

Enid: 🤨

You: Kinda went too far with feelings jab. Also, I sent you a message so you could calm down, not storm in ready to fight.

Enid: Oh, I meant sorry about mentioning Xavier.

Enid: Speaking of Wednesday, how come you're taking her side now?

You: I'm not taking sides. It's her room as well

Enid: Yeah, but you're calling me out on that now. At least openly take her side next time. 😒😒

You: I'm not going to gang up on you with basically a stranger.

Enid: She's been cold and mean to me all day.

You: And she just got here. Give her a chance?

You looked up from your phone and saw Enid reluctantly nodding at you.

~X~

The next time you got a few other pieces of the puzzle known as Wednesday Addams was during the fencing class. You were paired up with Kent at the end of the row so you didn't notice when she came in. You heard her.

"I do," she declared boldly and the split second you took to look at the girl dressed completely in black cost you the point and the match.

"Oh, you must be the psychopath they let in," apparently Wednesday went right for Bianca, for reasons you couldn't understand at the moment.

"And you must be the self-appointed Queen Bee. Interesting thing about bees. Pull out their stinger and they drop dead," Wednesday stated, proving to you that she must have listened to Enid yesterday because there was no other explanation as to how she knew that.

"Rowan doesn't need you to come to his defense. He's not helpless, he's lazy," Bianca said after a short pause.

"Are we doing this or not?" Wednesday asked and they were, in fact, doing it. She put her mask on and you took yours off to better look at her fight.

They began and you were genuinely impressed. Bianca could be self-appointed Queen Bee all day long, but there was no denying the fact that she knew how to fence. She was the best at it, without a doubt, yet there Wednesday was, parrying and deflecting each of Bianca's attacks and fighting back with equal force.

You watched, as if hypnotized, as Wednesday bent her knee and raised the tip to Bianca's neck.

The second round was quick, with Bianca fiercely attacking and using the height advantage she had to get the second point.

Bianca took her mask off and smirked. "That first point was clearly beginner's luck. Let's finish this," she taunted smugly.

Wednesday, while probably not shaken by the loss of a point, acted recklessly. "For the final point, I would like to invoke a military challenge. No masks. No tips. The winner draws first blood."

You frowned. It was an immediate decision on Wednesday's part. A spur-of-the-moment reaction that didn't match the girl's quick and clever retorts. She was cornered just for a moment and upped the stakes, much like she did last night.

"Let's see if you bleed in black and white," Bianca accepted the challenge, and all the rules and all the matches were off by now, with everyone closely watching the even struggle between the two. Wednesday was graceful, dodging and flipping effortlessly and attacking with dangerous precision. She was fast, aware of her surroundings, clearly much more experienced than even Bianca.

The thing is, fights to the first blood aren't always won by the more skilled fighter. Luck played a role in them, as did the range yet again and the tip of Bianca's blade nicked Wednesday's forehead, right above the left eyebrow.

"Looks like your face finally got that splash of color it so desperately needed."

You watched as Wednesday just left.

~X~

By the time you came back to your room with Enid, you figured Wednesday would already be there. It was just a nick, it shouldn't take too long.

"She's not here," Enid pointed out and you frowned, immediately heading outside. "Wait, Y/N! It's raining!" Enid ran after you. "You don't even know if Wednesday is still in the infirmary! Maybe she went out for a walk, this kind of weather seems like something she'd like, or tolerate at least!"

You could see Enid's reasoning, but it still didn't stop you from rushing down the stairs. Were you worried about Wednesday? No, not really. You just wanted to make sure she wasn't still at the infirmary. Was it raining? It was. You could handle a bit of rain because it didn't make sense for her to still be there. But as if drawn to a storm something just pulled you to get there.

Enid came with you after all, though the moment you stepped into the rain she kept a safe distance from you. Luckily the rain wasn't pouring so the brief run through it didn't make your lightning unstable. You still felt the heat within you, but you were completely in control.

You opened the doors to the infirmary and saw Xavier and then you noticed Wednesday, lying on the bed in a corpse-like position. "What happened?"

Xavier abruptly stood up, surprised to see you and Enid. "Y/N, it's raining!" he chastised you, but seeing as you were already there he gave up and sighed, pointing his hand toward Wednesday. "She was nearly crushed by a gargoyle."

"What? Is she okay?" Enid covered her mouth in shock and approached the sleeping girl.

"I pushed her out of the way. Don't worry, she doesn't have a concussion," Xavier assured and Enid let out a sigh of relief.

You nodded and looked at Wednesday from afar, not daring to approach while you were still even slightly wet from the rain. "I'll come back to the room later, don't wait for me," you said and stepped outside.

There weren't many people who could make a gargoyle fall in this school, and there was no way that was an accident. Furthermore, not a lot of people had an opportunity to do it. You couldn't think of a reason why he'd do it, but there was one person in your class who had the opportunity and ability to do it.

~X~

You tucked the knife into the holster attached to your belt, hidden on your back, just beneath the jacket as you landed on the fence of Xavier and Rowan's balcony. Your eyes were bright red as you pushed open the doors and stepped inside.

Rowan jumped to his feet. "Y/N! Why are you here? How did you even get up here?"

"Raiju secrets Rowan," your eyes turned back to their usual color, indicating you weren't there to fight. "What's up with that gargoyle, hmm?"

He backed away as you approached. "What are you talking about? What gargoyle?"

"The one you tried to kill Wednesday with," you could see how tense he suddenly got.

"I didn't do it. I don't know what you're talking about," he threw his arms up in the air and began pacing. "Why would you care even if I did? She just got here! You've been friendly with me for years, and didn't make me feel like an outcast! That's why I'm not attacking you for accusing me!"

Something was seriously wrong with him. He wasn't like this before. He was awkward and timid, not mad as he was right now. "You and I both know how that fight would go. I don't want to hurt you, confess and let's go to Weems," you offered and felt an invisible force lifting you into the air, but you remained calm. Your eyes once again turned red as sparks danced around your body.

"You underestimate me, Y/N!" he yelled, but before either of you could do anything else a knock on the door interrupted you.

"Rowan? Who is in there with you?" a voice demanded from behind the doors.

"I'm watching you, don't start a fight you can't finish," you warned as he released you from his hold. You left the same way you came, jumping from the balcony and tossing the knife toward the ground.

~X~

You were outside, sitting on the fence of the balcony with your back against the gargoyle. The sky was clear and you just wanted some fresh air. Rowan didn't try anything after the first attempt, but he also didn't get the opportunity to do it either. You were lost in thoughts, just looking at the stars when Wednesday came out, cello in hands and a severed stitched-up hand by her side.

"I'm guessing it's four of us now?" you tilted your head, smiling slightly.

Wednesday actually blinked and that surprised you way more than a moving severed hand. "This is Thing," she said as Thing climbed up to her shoulder and bowed down as a greeting.

You just raised your hand. "Hey, Thing. I'm Y/N," now, you couldn't say you saw anything like him before, but at this point, you just went along with anything that could or would happen. "You can play cello?"

"Yes," Wednesday said as her and Thing set the instrument up.

"Can I stay and listen?" you asked, already prepared to leave her if she said you couldn't.

"Do what you want," she, instead pretty much told you you could stay. So, you did just that. You closed your eyes and listened as she played 'Paint it Black' without once messing it up.

Once she was finished she exhaled sharply and you heard Thing tapping.

"No, I don't really feel better," Wednesday said, frankly you were surprised she said it in front of you, but you chose not to comment on that. "There's just something wrong about this place. Not just because it's school."

You remained silent once again. Wednesday was right. Now, you didn't know much about the history of the school, but you heard from your dad some things that weren't entirely normal kept happening at the school. He'd been a bit paranoid about letting you stay here when he heard the news four years ago, but you didn't have much of a choice. At first, you thought he was messing with you, the jokester that he is, but you felt it from the first storm. Something about the school made storms more difficult, and you doubted it was only because you were getting stronger. And that voice... you still didn't understand what that voice was, why it was laced with static, or why it seemed like only you could hear it.

It existed. You knew that much. Because when you mentioned it to your dad he told you he heard it too. He, a raiju, had the same experience.

The question that plagued you the most was why could you only hear it during storms that lasted for days?

Of course, you weren't about to tell Wednesday about any of that.

Enid came outside and noticed the cello. "How the hell did you get that oversized violin out the window?"

"I had an extra hand," Wednesday replied and you couldn't help but grin at that. true, but a bit playful, though you figured it wasn't intentional.

Enid looked confused until she noticed Thing. "Whoa. Where's the rest of him?"

"It's one of the great Addams family mysteries," Wednesday said.

"So you don't know?" you teased jokingly.

"I could push you," she threatened as a response.

You smirked at that. "Go ahead and try. I might surprise you," she looked like she might take you up on that offer until werewolves began howling.

"Why aren't you wolfing out?" Wednesday asked, perhaps only now remembering Enid should be turning into a werewolf as well.

"Because I can't," Enid showed her hand and her claws came out. "It's all I got," she somberly went over to the fence and leaned down. "My mom says some wolves are late bloomers, but I've been to the best Lycanologist. I had to fly to Milwaukee, would you believe it?" her voice trembled as she spoke. "Yeah, she says there's a chance I may never... you know."

You looked to the side. You were a raiju. You could never comfort her, as much as you wanted to. Werewolves and raiju were about as close to opposites as you could imagine, at least as far as social structure went.

"What happens then?" Wednesday asked.

"I'd become a lone wolf," Enid sighed.

Wednesday took that information in before eventually responding. "Sounds perfect."

"Not what she wants to hear, Wednesday," you sighed, you figured she didn't mean it in a bad way, but it still came off as insensitive.

"Are you kidding me? My life would be officially over! I'd be kicked out of my family pack with no prospects of finding a mate," Enid cried out, frustrated by her inability to wolf out.

"I'm failing to see the problem here," okay, maybe she just was insensitive.

"I could die alone!" Enid exclaimed.

"We all die alone, Enid," Wednesday just said it how it is.

"You really suck at this, cheering people up," Enid criticized and leaned down, hiding her face in her hands and sobbing.

"Why are you crying?" Wednesday eventually asked.

"'Cause I'm upset! Haven't you ever cried? Or are you above that too?" Enid assumed, perhaps a bit too harshly, but considering the way Wednesday was responding to her turmoil you couldn't say you blamed her.

Surprisingly, Wednesday began talking. "It was the week after Halloween. I was six years old. I took my pet scorpion Nero out for his afternoon stroll when we were ambushed. They wondered what kind of freak would have a scorpion for a pet. Two of them held me down and made me watch while the others ran Nero over until... It was snowing when I buried what was left of him. I cried my little black heart out, but tears don't fix anything, so I vowed not to do it again."

You remained silent, taking the story in. It explained a lot about the girl. Once upon a time, she loved so deeply that violently losing such love meant she was no longer open to loving that hard.

"Your secret's safe with us, I don't know how Y/N doesn't, but I still think you're weird as shit, though," Enid told her.

"The feeling is incredibly mutual," Wednesday replied, for a moment she looked at you and your eyes met, but she didn't address what Enid said about you. Eventually, she averted her gaze from you. "How would you like to have your room back to how it was before?"

"Nah, too much pain in the ass to put the window back together," you climbed down from the fence, yawning as you did so. "Good night you two."

"Night!" Enid exclaimed as you went inside.

Wednesday, as usual, didn't respond unless necessary.

A/N: You know, one thing that really caught my attention as I wrote this is the fact that Wednesday is the one saying 'our room' right from the start, while Enid opens with 'my room', when their personalities on the surface would imply the opposite. Also, you can't tell me Wednesday's voice doesn't tremble a bit when she says 'rainbow vomited' just listen to it and compare it with the rest of her lines.

#wednesday addams x female reader #wednesday addams x you #wednesday addams x reader #wednesday netflix #wednsday addams #enid sinclair #jenna ortega x reader

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studentinpursuitofclouds · 1 month

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Can I request the "I think we should start dating" "... weren't we dating already?" scenario with bachelors of your choice? (and elliot !!)

Sure thing, dear anon 😊 Enjoy! 🫰💕

**********************************************

Shane:

Finally, a well-deserved lunch break after unloading those endless stupid boxes of Joja groceries! Shane's back is already aching from all the heavy lifting.... And the best part of this break is that the Farmer, with whom the chicken lover has been together for half a year, came to visit him. They just wanted to tell him something important, but Shane couldn't get rid of the tender thoughts of the fact that he found a person who loved him - him, some loser Joja company loader!

"Shane, I've been meaning to tell you for a long time... I really like you. A lot. Like not just as a friend, but more than that." Farmer's voice trembled slightly, they were clearly very nervous.

"And I thought... I want... You... Do you want us to become something more than friends?" Shane's goofy smile quickly slid away, and his face expressed shock. The Farmer became even more nervous, mistaking it for a bad reaction and had already started to apologize, but Shane interrupted them:

"All this fucking time.... we weren't together?!" Now it was Farmer's turn to be completely shocked.

Realizing the situation, both of them laughed almost to the point of stomach ache. "Yoba have mercy, you're such a idiot," said Farmer without anger.

"You're no better, dumbass!" smiling Shane replied back at them. Two idiots in love, what a couple they are. But Shane felt even warmer in his heart, realizing how lucky he is...

Elliott:

Cool sea breeze that refreshes in the summer heat, calm azure sea with a beautiful view of the sunset... Elliott stood on the sandy shore with Farmer, admiring the sunset, and no words can convey how happy the gallant writer felt with the man he loved. Together with them.

Farmer immediately felt Elliott's gaze on the themself, and turned to face him, bestowing a soft smile.

"I really appreciate spending time with you Elliott. You have no idea how much it means to me. I... I like you a lot." Farmer moved closer to the writer, resting their head gently on his shoulder. Elliott didn't dare move, didn't dare ruin this beautiful, sacred moment for the two of them. Farmer continued:

"I've been thinking about this for a long time, and... I think we should date. As a couple, not just as friends..." Farmer was unable to continue as Elliott choked on air and began coughing heavily, trying to regain consciousness. "What happened? Did you get a bug in your mouth?"

Elliott was finally able to cough up and speak:

"Forgive me, my dear, for my bluntness, but... haven't we been a couple for four months now?"

By the surprised look on Farmer's face, Elliott immediately had an answer to the question.

"What a fool I am! Yoba! Forgive me Farmer, I thought we.... Oh my, this is- Have I misspoken in the past? I'm an idiot! How could I not ask you about that? Or did I asked?" While Elliott was dramatically berating himself, standing in a theatrical pose, Farmer grabbed his hand and pulled him in for a kiss. The writer quickly calmed down, and laughed at the thought that this would make a very comical and romantic story for his autobiography.

Sam:

Sam ran around his room, looking for his best (or at least clean) T-shirt and favorite jeans. A little combing of hair near the mirror, a little odicolone perfume - and the young guitarist was ready for another date with his dearest Farmer! Oh, man, Sam forgot Farmer's favorite sweets. Okay, got it. Now he's ready for the date!

As always, they're waiting for Sam under the tree outside his house. And, as always, they hold a bouquet of beautiful roses for him, Sam's favorite flowers (and which he's not allergic to). This time the color of the roses is white, but the musician didn't pay too much attention to that, because his thoughts were completely focused on Farmer's smile.

"Hey Sam. I've been thinking about how to prepare a speech for a long time, but I was afraid of getting nervous and saying the wrong thing, so..." Farmer took a deep breath. "So... here. For you."

They handed him a bouquet. "I'd like for us to date and become more than friends.... If you agree, of course."

Sam.exe stopped working. Information processing error. Rebooting... Rebooting...

"Wait, weren't we a couple?"

"We... were a couple?" Unsurely, Farmer asked. Now their minds were beginning to reset from the discrepancy of information in their head as well. It took half a minute before it finally dawned on Sam what had happened.

"You gave me bouquets of my favorite flowers almost every day!" exclaimed Sam with a laugh in his voice.

"But those were friendly bouquets!" Farmer tried to justify themself, "this one is different!"

"How is this one any different then, huh?" Sam is already imagining how he's going to tell Sebastian and Abigail that it turns out he and Farmer weren't a couple before.

"That bouquet of white roses! Plus it's got little plastic hearts that say 'be mine' and 'I love you'. So don't even-" Farmer crossed their arms, feeling their cheeks redden from the awkward situation. But seeing the soft, loving look in Sam's eyes, whose cheeks were also red as a tomato, Farmer rushed to the musician with hugs and kisses, accidentally slightly denting the flowers.

#stardew valley #sdv #sdv sam #sdv shane #sdv elliott #sdv headcanons #thanks for the ask!

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snowywolf1005 · 6 months

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SHANKS X BLACK FEMALE READER X CHILD LUFFY

Headcanons: You raise luffy, and Shank, try flirt with you. But you couldn't expect it. And you siblings, you allergic to flowers. You and Shank have been childhood friends, after Gol D. Roger death.

You live with your sister's house, who has friends, dadan. And grap (luffy grandpa) asked you to raise ace when he was a baby after you raised. You were sent to a village very far from the jungle, you worked maiino restaurants. And grap ask you to raise luffy and you did.

You just woke up, got up, "luffy, wake up," you said, shrugged, luffy shoulder. As he got up, you changed his clothes.

As you and luffy went to makino restaurant, "Good morning, (Y/N)!" Said makino. "Hey, makino, how have you been?"

You put luffy on the table with color and piece of paper and brought him cookies.

"Oh! Shanks brought you some gift, but you may not like it, " she said as she put her hands back on her head.

"Let me guess, is it a teddy with big roses flower and has beer that said 'be my lover'?" You question. She nodded her head, and you signed.

"Does this man never quit loving me? He doesn't know I'm allergic to flowers!" You said as you cleaned up the dishes.

"Well, you didn't tell him that you were allergic to flowers," makino said, smiling. "(Y/N)! I'm finished my cookie. Can I have the treasures tab!" Luffy yelled.

"I handled this (Y/N), you have a rough day," said makino, as she put her hands on your shoulder. You signed, working on the dishes.

As you cleaned, you heard a voice screaming your name. "Oh! Darling!!!" It was shanks, "do you really think call her name like that?" Luffy question to Luffy.

"Of course, because your mother is beautiful," said Shanks, "WHAT!?" Luffy yelled. "No, I'm not your darling thing," you said.

"Why not?" Shanks winded

"Cause you just a pervert," said luffy

Shanks looks at luffy with a shocked face. After the bar. You take luffy back to your place, you say goodbye to makino.

Change luffy to his pajamas, you too, as well. "Goodnight, luffy.", "Goodnight mom "

You kissed him on the forehead.

#shanks x reader #child luffy x reader #one piece shanks #one piece child luffy #one piece luffy #one piece x black reader #one piece x black!reader #one piece x reader #asl x reader #asl x mothers reader #shanks x you #one piece shanks x reader #shanks #red hair shanks x reader

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kasagia · 9 months

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Bring me a dream pt. 2

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/general Kirigan x fem! sun summoner! reader Summary: Aleksander has always wanted to meet you. His soul mate. But when he finally has you by his side in the Little Palace, he realises that you are not the same after all, and the passage of time has changed both him and you. Can you find your way back? Rise to the occasion and give Grisha a brighter, safer future? Wairning(s): trauma, fold, volcra, abuse, de@th mention, Baghra is a terrible mother, Genya deserves better, Aleksander is a puppy that needs a hug, the reader has a moral conflict, they are all ALONE. Word count: 5,4k Taglist: @aoi-targaryen @morrigan-crowmwell @louderfortheback @ludarklina-fan-spot @sayumiht @budugu @howibecameabadassbitch ~•♤♤♤•~ Part 1 ~•♤♤♤•~ Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~

Oh I'm scared to see the ending why are we pretending this is nothing? I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how... I've never heard silence quite this loud. Taylor Swift - The Story of Us

"If he thinks I'm going to wear this, I would be more than happy to go and tell him that I'm not." you snort as you sit in the huge (very comfortable) bed in the room Aleksander has assigned you in the Little Palace.

Genya sighed as she put the black kefta with golden sun embellishments and sunbeams on the bed. Kefta was beautiful… if only it hadn't been tainted by his colour.

"The general insisted that you wear black to your presentation to the royal family."

"And I insist that he shouldn't take me to that circus. Did you tell him that?" the redhead giggled in amusement, which made me smile slightly.

It was a big change for her. After the first time I disobeyed Aleksander's orders, Genya looked at me with a mixture of fear, confusion and concern. However, she quickly learned that such skirmishes between us were the norm ... or at least I wasn't punished for them in any way. Except for Aleksander's inborn malice, which he surely gained from his mother.

"Oh I did… and General told me to tell you that if he had to, he'd carry you all the way to the Grand Palace himself. No matter what you would be wearing."

"Bastard." you mutter under your breath. You get out of bed and look at the kefta Genya made for you.

"The General doesn't let just anyone walk in his colors." she tells you in a conspiratorial tone. A small, mischievous smirk stretches across her lips.

You flinch, feigning disgust. "Don't even insinuate such things to me. He must be too old for me... Better tell me how your handsome friend Durast is?" you ask teasingly, laughing as you see the blush on her cheeks.

She bends down and steals a pillow from your bed to throw at you. You toss pillows, laughing. You both stop when, suddenly, after your dodging, a pillow thrown by Genya is caught by Aleksander standing in the doorway.

"Are you two enjoying yourself?" he asks, raising an eyebrow at both of you.

"Shouldn't you knock first before entering a lady's room?" you snort sarcastically, already annoyed by his serious, sepulchral demeanour.

"Shouldn't you be dressed already?"

"I don't like black and I'm allergic to royalty, so I'm not going," you say, crossing your arms. "And give me back my pillow."

Aleksander sighs as he throws a pillow at you, and if it wasn't for your quick reflexes, he would have punched you in the face. "Genya, wait a moment outside." he says as he enters your room and waits for the door to close behind the redhead.

You look at him defiantly with your arms crossed. "I'm not going anywhere." you declare firmly.

Aleksander sighs as he walks over to you. "Don't be a brat. I have hundreds of years of plans that will go awry if you don't do this one thing for me. So, for the sake of Grishas, put your pride in your pocket and please put on this kefta."

"And how do you know your plans are good for them?"

Ever since you arrived at the Little Palace, the subject of the fold has come up many times between you... mostly it ended with you both taking offence at each other and taking your anger out on the other.

"We'll discuss this another time. Please, Y/N." he asks. You roll your eyes but take the kefta from the bed anyway. "Thank you," he says with relief.

"I'm not doing this for you." you say coldly and walk past him, locking yourself in the bathroom to change. You hear him stand still for a moment, processing your words, before storming out of the room in anger, letting Genya inside.

You could have kept quiet about his true identity and the plans he'd revealed to you, but you weren't going to stand by his side. No matter how he tries to convince you. And after looking at yourself in the mirror and at the kefta in his colours, you come to a terrible, but true conclusion.

You looked good in black…

"Her name is Y/N Y/L/N. And she is going to free as all." Aleksander introduces you to the crowd that has gathered and the royal family. You wince slightly at the drama of his words. Fortunately, in the darkness of the shadows he has summoned, only you two can see each other now.

He stands in front of you and watches carefully as you summon several beams of light.

It must not be enough for him, because suddenly he grabs you by the wrist... and then the real show happens.

You immediately feel his amplifying powers. You feel a familiar haze of daze, a sense of power and authority as light pours out of you, burning your veins from the inside out.

You like that feeling... it scares you as much as it fascinates you. And just by looking at Aleksander's smug, almost proud face, you know he's boasting that he still has such power over you... that he can still make you shine for him.

You look each other in the eye. Each with their own emotions. This time, you can see through his eyes what he feels. Pride. Admiration... the longing hidden behind the way he stared at you and your light as if he was enchanted.

He stepped aside, facing the royal family again. You yanked your hand out of his grip and, ignoring the disgruntled frown on his face, ended the show.

You were furious. You knew why he did it. He wanted to show exactly how much power you wield. That they fear you as much as they fear him. And he succeeded. Only he looked at you unwaveringly. The rest of the crowd either looked down, whispering to each other, or stared appraisingly at you.

Then the real hell began. For an hour, you were the main attraction, entertaining the nobility with your skills and your fake origin story. You didn't know what was worse. The fact that you voluntarily became a little toy at the royal court or that the constant presence of Aleksander by your side brought you some kind of relief and you were able to survive this torture thanks to him.

And the last thing you wanted to feel about that son of a bitch was gratitude. Not after he was the reason you had to come here. Therefore, as soon as you were able to leave the Grand Palace, you decided that you would act like a child and not speak to him. To which he just smiled under his breath. His mischievous grin was still as hot as it had been hundreds of years ago. Even better with his beard and shorter hair. Damn bastard.

Just as you are about to walk back into the Little Palace, you feel his hand on your elbow. You raise a questioning eyebrow at him. He doesn't answer you. He still smirks as he leads you away from the Little Palace to a place only he knows.

You roll your eyes. Apparently, you have to speak first if you want to know where he's taking you.

"All right. You won." You huff angrily. "Where are you dragging me? My room is over there." you say, pointing to the building next to you two.

"I think you'll appreciate fresh air more than closed walls. Especially after you've been stuck there with nobles and royals for so long." you snort, not for a moment believing in his sudden concern for your well-being.

Aleksander looks around, trying to make sure you're alone. He looks at you intently for a moment. A spark of mischief in his eyes. Then, at the speed of light, he unhooks your grandmother's bracelet from your wrist and runs away with it.

You stand there for a moment in shock before you run after him. "Hey! Give it back!" you shout after the retreating shadow summoner, who laughs.

Fortunately, his black kefta is easily spotted in gardens, so you have no problem tracking it. He stops suddenly, and you bump right into him. You fall to the ground, and he is beneath you.

You can't help but snort in amusement, then laugh when you see that he's somehow gotten his cheek dirty in the earth. He smiles and giggles too. You both stop when you see how close the two of you are after you reach up to his face and brush away clods of earth with your thumb.

His dark brown eyes watch you intently. You feel yourself blush under his intense gaze. But before he reaches out to cup your cheek with his hand (and maybe raise himself up on one elbow to kiss you), you reach for your bracelet and quickly stand up.

You fasten the bracelet around your wrist with his name on it and look around. You gasp as you see that he has led you to a beautiful lake with a small island in the centre.

"Do you like it?" Aleksander whispers in your ear. You turn your head towards him, freeze when you see how close he is to you. You involuntarily lick your lips as you look into his eyes.

"That's nice." you say, and you move away from him to go to the pier.

He doesn't stay far behind. After a while, he walks beside you. You both sit on the edge, arm in arm. You take off your shoes and dip your feet in the water while playing. You feel Aleksander's eyes on you, and out of the corner of your eye, you see a smirk on his face.

"I used to want to be a tidemaker. When I was a child, I was frustrated that I couldn't use my powers in public. My grandmother used to take me to the lake, and I had only one desire while swimming..."

"To be anyone else." he finishes for you. You shift your gaze from the lake to him. He stares into the distance, as if remembering the past. "Stop being afraid of being ostracised and hated by both Ravkans and Grishas. Stop being afraid that one day your "brothers and sisters" will stand against you. Stop being a changeling."

"Yeah… something like that." you reply bitterly, shifting your gaze back to the lake. The wind blows lightly across your face, blowing strands of hair from Genya's scruffy hairstyle.

You wrinkle your nose, trying to loosen the intricate bun with braids in it. Aleksander giggles as he sees you struggle with a complicated hairstyle.

"May I?" he asks, pointing to your hair.

You raise an eyebrow at him. "You know how to… undo it?" you ask, surprised. He laughs genuinely and carelessly at your reaction, sitting down behind you. You blush slightly at the sound you've missed over the centuries.

"I have a younger sister." he says nonchalantly, starting to untangle your complicated hairstyle.

It's a good thing he's sitting behind you, or he'd have seen your mouth open in shock. Somehow, you couldn't imagine him as… a sibling.

"A sister?" you ask, too curious to let the subject go. He just croons in confirmation. Annoyingly, he untangles your tresses well. You barely feel his hand movements. "Will you tell me more about her?"

"She's almost as stubborn and irritating as you are." you snort, offended, feeling the first loose strands of hair fall down your back with relief. "Her name is Ulla."

Aleksander is not effusive. He wasn't like that even when you first met. That's why there's something… intimate about him sharing a piece of his past with you.

"So… Baghra had more of you?" you ask curious.

"Perhaps... but only I was... like her." A Shadow Summoner - you think. And deep down, you suspect that Baghra wasn't the one who looked after Ulla. Aleksander snaps you out of your thoughts as he strokes your already loose hair. "Done." he says and stands up.

"Thank you." you tell him. You stand up too and grab your shoes as you both walk off the pier.

"And you?" he asks, walking beside you. "Any siblings to tease?" you snort in amusement as you put on your shoes.

"No. My mother died… quite early and I never knew my father."

"You never wanted to meet him?" he asks curiously. You know why. He never knew his father either… you wonder if he ever wanted to meet him himself…

"No." you speak quickly, sure of your answer. "I had a grandmother. I didn't need anyone else."

"Had?" he asks, raising an eyebrow. You sigh, involuntarily playing with the bracelet on your wrist.

"She died." you speak calmly… in an empty tone learned over the years, betraying no emotion.

After so many centuries, Aleksander knew there was no point in saying I'm sorry. Not for you. He knew that the last thing you would expect in such a situation were words so empty or full of feigned regret, often repeated by people. He decided to go with a rather safer and definitely more meaningful question for the people in your situation.

"When?"

"Centuries ago." silence fell between the two of you, and realisation hit Aleksander. You were utterly alone. For so many centuries. You didn't have anyone standing by your side.

If Aleksander was sure you'd let him, he'd lock you in his embrace and not let you go until he's sure you know he'll always be there for you... that he's been your shelter whether you love, like, or hate him with all your heart. He would always be there for you.

You change the subject, trying to avoid his questions. Fortunately, he doesn't insist. For a moment, you're back to those kids who met hundreds of years ago. Only Aleksander and Y/N. No summoners of shadows or sun. And you can't help feeling how easy it is to get into that old routine with him.

However, everything changes when you are back on the palace grounds. You feel Grishas' heavy, hopeful, admiring eyes on you again. And you feel overwhelmed by your new role. You were not a saint. You were not a hero or a person who changed the world.

And by the soft smile on Aleksander's face, you're reminded that the man you were talking to so freely and openly just a moment ago wants it all. He wants you to stand by his side and change the world... not necessarily for the better for everyone.

"I guess I didn't get a chance to tell you sooner, but you look lovely, by the way." he says, looking at you. The black kefta suddenly weighs heavily on you more than before… and explains the soft whispers of some Grishas.

You roll your eyes. You suddenly remembered why you couldn't trust him. And you mentally chastised yourself for letting him manipulate you. You had to raise your walls again. "I know you too well and I'm too old to be seduced by you."

"I thought you were too smart for that?" he is teasing you, remembering what you said to him the first time you met. You look around to make sure that no one can hear your conversation.

"I was wise. Before I met the Black Heretic and let my guard down." it is obvious from the slight furrow of his brow in anger that he does not like the nickname. You make a mental note to call him that way more often when you're alone.

"There was a time when names didn't matter to us. Where all you cared about was the real me. Not the way others saw me." he says, and if you were still that naive girl, you'd think you saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

"You're right. At that time, I never imagined you would turn out to be..."

"I'm still the same man, Y/N..." he interrupts you with obvious hurt in his eyes. You both stop in front of the door of the Little Palace. Aleksander tries to read in your eyes where this sudden change of mood and coldness come from. "As you are the same wonan."

"No." you shake your head. "I'm not. And the boy I knew and loved died hundreds of years ago in the fold."

You see your words hurt him. And for a brief moment, he lets you see right through his eyes. He lets you see the pain and the tears that threatened to run down his cheeks.

But he doesn't let his emotions take over. You both live too long not to be able to hide them whenever you want... but that doesn't mean it hurts any less.

"What a pity... If you change your mind, you know where to find me."

You watch his receding silhouette with a heavy heart, and you can't help but wonder… did you two really seem so different after all?

You shake your head. NO. You couldn't fall into the arms of a man who took everything you knew, your last shelter... and you didn't want to admit to yourself that you still had TWO known arms that could be your shelter... Unfortunately for you, they were wearing a black kefta, symbolising his shadows.

All you remember is a scream.

A loud, soul-piercing scream.

Actually, not one. Not short. Not temporary.

And with the screams came darkness. A darkness that made people lose sight of their loved ones. It didn't matter if it was Grisha or Otkazat'sya. Everyone died. One after the another.

No one knew from where, in a few seconds, shadows appeared instead of a clear sky and sun. All that could be seen in the shadow fold were only the fingers on your hands.

And after a while, they joined the shadows. Human-eating creatures. Volcra.

You were running ahead with a light orb in your hand. Beside you was your grandmother, shooing the creatures away.

You ran together, trying to find a way out of the vast sea of shadows that surrounded you. At some point, a scared group of people started running straight at you, trying to get as close to your light as possible and hide. You split up, trying to lose the crowd of people who might remember your faces. But you couldn't leave them alone. You created a great orb of light and left the people behind, making sure the orb would follow them.

As you offered to help others, you paid little attention to your surroundings. Volcra surrounded you, and one of them lunged at you from behind. You'd be dead... if your grandmother hadn't thrown herself in front of you. But before she could create a sufficient orb of light, the volcra struck her in the heart.

Your scream mingled with the screams of the people around you. Grandmother's blood mixed with the blood of others. You kneeled by her until the end… until she gave you her amplifier, and with the last of her strength, she used all her power to illuminate the area around you, killing the nearest volcras.

You were completely alone in the darkness of the fold. Tears dripped from your eyes onto your cheeks and bleed the earth beneath you, your screams of despair slowly becoming the only audible sound in the fold.

You were all alone.

You flinched as you felt a hand on your shoulder. You closed your eyes, waiting for the volcra to attack as usual in this particular dream, but nothing came...

Nothing but a warm embrace and a familiar scent that you only associated with security and safety.

With tears in your eyes, you threw yourself into Aleksander's arms, crying into his chest. And you couldn't help but shiver as his hands stroked your back, pressing you tight against his chest as he kissed the top of your head.

"You're not alone." he whispered, holding you close to him. And for a brief moment, you wanted it all to be real...

Wandering around the Little Palace at night turned out to be something that did not bring you peace. Contrary. After overhearing a conversation between a pair of guard soldiers, you storm Aleksander's chambers, furious, frustrated, angry, and… disappointed.

You don't bother knocking or stopping at the soldiers guarding his chambers… you wonder for a moment why they even let you into his chambers late at night, but decide to think about it another time while you focus on the rage bubbling inside you.

You stormed into his war room and if it weren't for the late hour and the fact that you didn't want to wake anyone else but him, you would have slammed the door loudly behind you.

Then you see him. The object of all your negative feelings. The reason for all your anger and hurt… Grandmother was right, he should have been kicked in the ass and left to freeze to death in that lake while there was still a chance to get rid of him.

He stands before his war table, where there are maps, soldier figures, and something that looks like a fold. He drinks kvass. You send a little prayer to the saints, hoping that one day he'll choke on it.

"Aleksander." you say, warning him of your arrival before you unleash hell.

He looks at you with a slight shock that gives way to something like a sense of awe and adoration, as if he is trying to keep in his memory the way you look right now. You're suddenly very aware of your black and gold nightgown, which reveals more of your skin than he's ever seen. You could have changed into something else if you've already wanted to yell at him… or at least put on a bathrobe.

And with those puppy eyes he gives you, he almost melts your heart… almost.

"We need to talk." you say in a cool tone, trying not to give your emotions away.

"Of course. Come in. Do you want something to drink?" it annoys you. His calmness and composure when anger is burning inside you more than ever… and for some unknown reason you feel betrayed… as if you couldn't foresee that he is exactly like any man.

"No, I… You know. Give it." you say, taking a glass of kvass from him and drinking it all down. He raises an eyebrow in surprise but doesn't comment. Good for him. You decide to go straight to the heart of the matter. "Are all your female Grishas are whores for the royal family or just Genya?" you ask in an accusatory tone.

He widens his eyes, not expecting such a question. He takes the glass from you and puts it on the table. Then he turns his gaze back to you and speaks in that damn calm tone.

"Y/N... You don't understand..."

"YOU KNOW how much we suffered at the hand of the king, and yet you sent that poor girl there? And you told her to be his whore? IN THE NAME OF WHAT, Aleksander?!" you explode. Aleksander's head flies to the closed door.

Very good - you think. You want the bastard to worry about someone overhearing you... you're not sure you'll even tell him that you asked the soldiers (with all the politeness and composure you have left) to go check on the commotion in the gardens. By the time they realise there's nothing going on, you'll be done here long ago... or you'll have to hide their general's body. You don't know how it's going to end yet.

"Shh! Someone will hear." he tries to silence you and walks to the door, closing it.

"DO NOT SHUSH ME! I don't care what your plans are, but I am taking Genya out of there once and for good. And nobody can stop me."

"Y/N... please let's talk calmly." he says as he slowly walks over to you to stand in front of you.

"Do you want to talk calmly? Fine. I am calmly informing you that Genya is returning to the Little Palace and getting her own kefta. Not some white servant shit you made her wear."

"Genya's service is part of the great plan of things she willingly agreed to." Killing the king. You finish for him in your head, linking the king's increasingly deteriorating health to a mad heretic's grand plan.

You may have been different, but you knew each other's thoughts and ways of acting. It doesn't change that quickly over time… even if he has given himself more to his darkness and you more to your light. But hell will take you if you agree with his way of working…

"Because she had no other choice! You say you despise the king and everything his ancestors did to us, and that's what you are, doing exactly the same thing, if not worse, to your own people who are as loyal and faithful as dogs to you!"

You yelled furiously at him, and from the crease on his forehead and the hurt look in his eyes that turned to anger when you compared him to a king, you knew that there would be a war between the two of you today.

"You have no idea what's going on! You have no idea why I do what I do. You come here, accuse me of the worst, and make childish claims! Maybe you should finally wake up and see that, actually, I am the only one who does anything for our people, even if it means going to the worst!" you bit your lip in anger.

You both knew where to hit each other so that it hurt the most. You in his immoral, dubious ways of acting to win this eternal war for the good of the Grishas, and him in your passivity and hiding for centuries. But you're not giving this bastard the privilege of having the last word.

"And that's a very beautiful transition to the second topic, which is the fold and your plans to expand it. What is it? Another necessary evil? Do you know how many lives it has taken? Not just Otkazat'syas."

He laughs bitterly and licks his lips as you return to your most divisive topic. "Your obsession with the fold is naive."

You growl angrier at him. Only he was able to drive you crazy with one look, comment, or mocking smile. Good for him that you had similar power over him... otherwise, you would probably have tried to scratch his eyes out long ago.

"The fold took everything from me! From us all!"

"You think I don't know that? That I'm not reminded of it at my every single step?! That I forgot that I created it?! NO Y/N! I remember it perfectly! I remember the king's men chasing us and wanting to kill us like dogs, I remember the Fjerdans and Shu kidnapping and killing them either out of hatred or experimenting on us, I remember all of that, Y/N! You weren't there! You don't know why it happened, why I had to do what I did."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I don't know why, but I was there when the shadows started to cover the ground, when the innocent people living in the territory of the emerging fold started turning into volcra because a certain shadow summoner decided to play a saint!"

He seems taken aback by your words, but he quickly puts his mask on his face. He turns his back on you and walks over to the war table, staring at the map, speaking in a calm, emotionless voice this time.

"You should leave now."

"We didn't finish..." he cuts you off before you can say anything else. With every word he says, the frustration and anger in his voice get clearer. The room is darkened by his shadows.

"The disclosure of your existence has brought our enemies ever closer to the border. An uprising is brewing in the west, led by a general of the First Army. Our own people in Ravka are against us. Our resources are dwindling, the noose is tightening, and our own people are turning against Grisha just like the king once did. The last thing I need right now is to argue with you. So leave. And let me continue fighting this war alone."

You don't know why you're doing it or what drives you, but you walk over to him and grab his hand. You both don't control the power flowing within you, so when your skin touches his, you feel him amplify your powers. You create a bubble of pure white light around you that dispels his shadows.

It's like at the throne room again. The two of you are staring at each other as your white light surrounds you. Only this time, Aleksander doesn't look at you like a capture or booty; there's not a single trace of pride or annoyance on his face, as you feared.

No...

He looks at you as the last light in the darkness of his soul. A reminder that he is not alone and that as long as you are by his side, his shadows will never consume him like in his worst nightmares. You were here. Next to him. Holding his hand in yours and shining like the last star in his dark sky devoid of hope.

For a moment, he was transported back to those times when, hundreds of years ago, you were both there for each other, alleviating all insecurities, sorrows, and dilemmas without even knowing each other's names. Just being there for another similar lost and lonely soul... not much has changed in those few centuries.

You'd tell him you missed him but you don't know how...

And he was dying to know if this aloofness and mistrust were killing you as much as they were killing him.

You let go of his hand. The light around you slowly faded away, leaving the two of you in darkness as you stared enchanted at each other.

"What are you doing?" he asks in a whisper, never taking his eyes off yours. The anger is gone from both you and him. You just stare at each other, both of you unable to take your eyes off the other.

You did not know what you were doing. Really. Aleksander had a tendency to make you do inexplicable things…

He knew you were as lost as him. So many centuries on earth, and none of you have yet learned… how to live. Hundreds of years and you still felt like lost children in the mist, trying to control everything around you, pretending to others that you were in control or knew perfectly what you were doing.

That's why he didn't question your lack of response. Or that you stayed in the dark, staring through each other for a moment longer. Both of you feel that for the first time in hundreds of long years, you are facing someone who is facing similar demons.

One thing was sure.

You have never heard silence speaking about dormant feelings quite this loudly.

"You're not alone." you repeat his words from your dream, involuntarily wondering for a moment if you still haunt him in his dreams as well. The look of his dark brown eyes, focusing only on you, is too overwhelming for you to take it much longer. You look away for a moment, then take your gaze back at him, giving him a small smile. "Someone has to undermine those perfect plans of yours from time to time. We don't want your ego to grow so big that it can't be contained in this palace, do we, General?" you ask jokingly and smile as you hear something like an amused snort from him.

He leans towards you and you gasp in surprise. Gently, he brushes the hair behind your ear with his fingertips. You shiver slightly at the small, almost non-existent touch of his skin against yours.

"No… we don't want to." he whispers, staring at you for a few more moments before pulling away and introducing you to the situation.

Darkness surrounds the two of you as you both talk. The only source of light is your little orbs floating above the war table. And for the first time, both of you feel at peace.

Neither of you were alone anymore.

And you both feel in this moment some kind of peace and relief...

At least until a messenger came running in the very dawn with a letter from the colonel of the Second Army…

The Fjerdans attacked.

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the-autistic-vulcan · 9 months

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Tickled Pink: Headcanons (Margot!Barbie x GN!Reader) @tomoyo-sayasan

Request: Barbie in love with a Gn Reader who doesn't really like the color pink in everything because they finds it nauseating.

Genre: Fluff

Description: Headcanons on pretty much being allergic to pink.

If there was one thing that you can never ever debate with Barbie on - it would be her very colour palette.

Sure, you could appreciate the variations of pastels like the blues, greens and yellows and all the cool clothing dyes

But there was something perfectly certain: you. hate. pink.

You hated how nauseatingly bright it was and you wanted to escape it any way you could

Well, that didn't last long when you met Barbie...

A couple of years after you guys were dating, you eventually went to go stay in Barbieland, and heavens your heart nearly stopped at all of the bright pinks in this place

"Is this really your place...?"

"Yeah! Why, you don't like it?"

"I do, it's just...it's a lot of...pink"

She simply giggled at the notion and gave you a look as if to say 'well, what did you expect?'

You guys eventually made it to her dreamhouse and you were clearly a little grossed out at all the pink, but you loved her, you didn't have the heart to tell her the pink was too much

You just couldn't

But she does eventually notice your discomfort and she sits down with you

"I know the pink is overwhelming, even I'm sometimes like, 'man, that's a lot of pink'..."

You both laugh about it and then she suggests something of a compromise

"We are not getting rid of the pink, but we can pain some of the walls blue...for your sake of course."

"Nah, it's um...it's fine. Besides, I might end up liking it!"

You never did end up liking it, but you liked it for her and that was good enough for the both of you <3

If you have a request, enter them into my inbox on my page!

Please like and reblog! Do not pass this as your own.

#margot robbie #barbie #barbie x reader #gender neutral reader #fluff

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animesmolbean · 16 days

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Guardian of Light

(Male)

Author's Note: Author's Note: This is not that important, lol.

But Part 3 of me fangirling over Timothée's Paul Atreides, lol!

Can we talk about the third GIF?! Ahhh!! He's so precious! I get flustered, and my heart melts when I look at him! ♥️

Also, we love Duke Leto Atreides! You'll see why in a moment.

Hope you enjoy the chapter! ♥️

〰️

Chapter 6: Visions and Promises

〰️

Paul walked out of the Ornithopter at a fast pace once they landed back home, holding (Your Name) up and helping him walk.

The Duke jumped out of the thropter pilot seat, eyes widening slightly seeing (Your Name) looking exhausted and about to collapse. “What happened? Is he alright?” He asked, worried about the boy.

Paul looked at his father, unshed tears in his eyes, then back down to the (hair color) haired boy, “I hope so…” He muttered in a hoarse voice.

(Your Name) groaned softly and moved his head off of Paul's shoulder. “I'm… I'm alright.” He muttered.

The Duke sighed heavily, “You cannot take such risks, Paul.”

“Yes, sir.” Paul responded, head casted downwards as he looked over at his childhood best friend who was slowly trying to regain his strength.

“You both have responsibilities.” Duke gestured to the pair.

“I'm sorry, sir. It won't happen again.” Paul rambled.

“Go now. Get yourself checked out. I have to talk (Your Name).”

Paul was hesitant to leave his best friend but listened to his father's words and jogged off.

Now, it was just (Your Name) standing before the Duke. As he regained himself, he realized his mistake, and he looked down.

“I'm so sorry, Sir. I failed to keep Paul safe, and it could've cost his life. I'm sorry, I- I'm so sorry-” He rambled.

The Duke cut him off. “Hey, calm down. Things have smoothed themselves out.” His voice was gentle as he comforted the panicked boy. He placed his hands on the boy's shoulders.

“You managed to get to him in time, along with Gurney. You did good.” He praised.

(Your Name) sniffled, nodding his head.

“But I need to know. What happened out there?”

The boy sighed. “I honestly don't know. One moment, Paul and I were together, then a sandstorm struck, and we were separated. Then, the area turned dark… this orb appeared in the sky and…. those shadow demons appeared.”

The Duke's eyes widened at the news. “You saw the shadow demons?” The boy nodded. “What did they look like? Did they hurt you?”

(Your Name) described the demons, telling him they are called Heartless, and he was able to fight them. When the Duke asked how, he told him everything.

“Then… the voice said… Haris Aldaw’. That I'm a new… keyblade wielder.”

Leto couldn't believe this. This boy was the Haris Aldaw’. Guardian of Light. A keyblade wielder.

The boy looked down, seemingly still upset about what happened. The Duke looked at him, an empathic look on his face.

“Everything will be alright. I can promise you that. But I need you to be strong. Protect my son from danger. I can't lose him…” He paused and gave him a gentle smile. “Or my future son-in-law.”

(Your Name) gasped softly. 'How did he know about my crush on Paul? Does anyone else know? And... he's... supportive of it?' He thought to himself.

He smiled widely at the Duke, feeling tears of joy well up in his eyes, and wrapped his arms around the man.

The Duke chuckled softly and hugged him back, patting his back.

“Now, go on and get checked out.”

The boy nodded and jogged off to where Paul last went. Duke Leto watched, a gentle smile on his face.

〰️

(Your Name) looked around, trying to find his childhood best friend. He looked in every possible room.

He eventually got to his and Paul's shared room, and he entered slowly. There, he saw Paul with Lady Jessica and Dr. Yueh. Everyone looked at him. The boy looked at Paul in worry.

“Is he alright?” He asked.

“He's fine, Master (Your Name). It's just an allergic reaction to the spice.” Dr. Yueh told the boy.

He sighed in relief. “Thank you.”

Dr. Yueh left the room. Once he was gone, (Your Name) went over to Paul, cupping his face in his hands. He wanted nothing more than to kiss him nonstop.

Paul held the worried boy's wrists in his hands. Lady Jessica came over to the pair, kneeling next to (Your Name).

“It wasn't an allergic reaction. I had a vision. My eyes were wide open.” Paul spoke in a low voice, keeping his eyes away from them.

"What did you see?” Jessica asked.

Paul slowly looked up at the two, his hazel green eyes instantly meeting (Your Name)’s concerned blue eyes. His heart was thumping hard in his chest, remembering the vision.

Inside the vision, (Your Name) was leading Paul down into a mountain, both of them wearing stillsuits.

The two faced each other, (Your Name) getting closer to his face and reached up to place a gloved hand on his cheek, caressing it gently.

He rubbed his thumb over Paul's lightly dusted cheek, the pair getting even closer to each other. They were so close that they could feel each other's breaths against their faces. (Your Name) placed his other hand on Paul's cheek, and now he was cupping his face. Their eyes met, and they mirrored each other's expression. They were in love.

Paul nudged his nose against his, making the boy smile softly. Paul tilted his head a little to get a better angle and started to close the gap between them. His lips parted a little, and his lips caressed (Your Name)’s.

Though, before the couple could actually kiss, someone came up behind Paul and stabbed him. It was the same girl he saw in his dream with (Your Name).

Paul fell against (Your Name), lifting his hand up. He saw blood on it. His blood. The girl handed (Your Name) the blade who took it, watching Paul bleed with no emotion.

“It's confusing. I thought I saw my death, only it wasn't. I know a knife is important somehow. Someone will hand me a blade. But I don't know who or when or where. Some things are crystal clear. I can feel it.” Paul explained to the two, then glanced at his mother. “I know you're pregnant.” The male smiled softly at his mother.

(Your Name) looked at Lady Jessica with surprise but it melted into a soft smile, mirroring Paul's.

“You can't know that. I I barely know that and it's only been a few weeks.” Jessica breathed out in surprise, staring at her son like she saw a ghost.

〰️

Jessica eventually left the room where (Your Name) and Paul were, and now an uncomfortable silence was between the two best friends.

(Your Name) sighed to himself, grabbing Paul's hands in his, giving them a gentle squeeze, “I can tell you want to say something.” He whispered.

Paul's hazel green eyes looked at the boy. “In my vision…” He took a deep breath and released it shakily, his voice shaky like he was on the verge of crying, “When I got stabbed…. you didn't say anything… didn't react… you just stared blank faced.”

The blue-eyed boy frowned softly, squeezing his hands again, then stood up and sat on his lap, his legs straddling Paul's thighs. In response, Paul's warm hands gently held (Your Name)'s hips, rubbing his hip bones with his thumbs. (Your Name) suppressed a shiver as he looked Paul in his eyes.

“That was a vision, Paul,” He spoke softly, seeing Paul's lips quiver, “You know how much I care about you. Whatever you saw in the vision won't happen.” He brushed some of Paul’s curly locks out of his face, “I won't let anything happen to you. Even in your dreams. I'll protect you. I'll be what the nightmares fear.”

When he mentioned dreams, he swore he felt a slight pain in his back. Like something was branding his back, but he ignored the pain, wanting to focus more on comforting Paul.

Paul chuckled wetly at (Your Name)'s proclamation before his body shuddered as he suppressed a small sob. His hands gripped the boy's hips tighter. “I almost lost you today…” His voice was hoarse, then in a desperate whisper. “I can't lose you (Your Name)... I can't.”

(Your Name) shook his head, frowning a little. “I'm alright… I'm right here…” He whispered. He used his left hand to move Paul's right hand off his hip and placed it on his chest, where her heart was. “See? Can you feel it? My heart beat. I'm right here.”

Paul sniffled a bit, feeling his nerves settle at the feeling of his friend's heartbeat.

The blue-eyed boy moved his right hand to Paul's cheek, cupping it in his palm and caressing it with his thumb. He watched Paul lean into the touch.

“If a war is coming, we'll face it together. We'll face our fears. I won't let anything happen to you. And I won't let them take me away from you. I promise.” (Your Name) declared, sealing the promise with a kiss on Paul's forehead.

Paul closed his eyes, humming at the feeling of (Your Name)'s lips on his forehead. He turned his head, pressing a kiss onto the boy's palm. “I promise to protect you too. No one will have us… as long as we're together.” He whispered into his hand.

(Your Name) nodded, pressing his forehead to Paul's, making him tremble a little.

Paul's lidded eyes stared at (Your Name) with their foreheads still together. The blue-eyed boy could feel Paul's breath against his cheeks when he stared back into his beautiful hazel green eyes. Paul gave him a half smile, one that was enough to make his heart beat faster; and Paul felt it.

〰️

It was now nighttime, and (Your Name) was in Paul's room with him after he asked to stay with him. Paul immediately agreed. He saw him leant on a little table in his room, in deep thought. The boy decided not to disturb Paul, especially after what had happened and what he told him.

The door to his room suddenly opened; it was Dr. Yueh. He walked in with a tiny tray and placed it on a table; it contained medicine and water. “Have a good night Master Paul, and (Your Name).” He told the two.

“Good night, Dr. Yueh.” The pair spoke softly and in sync as the doctor left the room.

(Your Name) laid down on the bed, looking at his hand from the side. He wondered if he could summon the keyblade any time like the others before him could.

“(Your Name)...” Paul whispered hoarsely.

Said boy turned to look and yelped when he saw Paul was on top of him. “Uhhh…. Paul?”

Paul just looked into his eyes, hazel green meeting sapphire blue. He let his body fall on top of his, making the other boy underneath him gasp in surprise. Paul nuzzled his face into the crook of (Your Name)'s neck, wrapping his arms around his waist.

(Your Name) blinked in confusion at the sudden affection, but he wasn't complaining. He returned the cuddle and wrapped his arms around Paul, rubbing his back up and down.

Then, he felt Paul's lips caressing the skin on his neck. Before he knew it, Paul started to press soft, wet kisses on his neck, going up and down.

The boy trembled, and he couldn't help the sigh that escaped his lips as he did. He gripped Paul's shirt.

“Paul… what are you doing?” He breathed out, a hitched gasp escaping his lips when Paul kissed a sensitive spot.

Paul mumbled something against his skin, but (Your Name) didn't hear it, and he continued his kisses on him, moving down to his collarbone.

(Your Name) sighed in content at the feeling of him doing this, still rubbing his back up and down.

Then he moved his kisses down towards his chest. He gasped softly as he felt Paul kiss his chest through his shirt. He trembled at the feeling, letting out soft, shaky whines. He moved his hands into Paul's hair, carding his fingers through the curls, making him hum against his chest.

Paul then suddenly pulled away a little. He slipped his hands underneath (Your Name)'s shirt, slowly sliding the shirt up to reveal his stomach and chest. (Your Name) gasped softly at this action but didn't do anything to stop Paul.

Once his torso was exposed, Paul leaned down and started to kiss his chest again. This time, (Your Name) felt Paul's warm, soft lips caress his skin, and he couldn't stop the soft whines that escaped his lips. He started to card his fingers through Paul's curls again.

"Paul....."

The curly haired boy hummed against the boy's chest as he continued the soft and intimate action.

The blue-eyed boy sighed as Paul continued, pressing gentle kisses against his chest and occasionally going down to kiss his stomach; enjoying the moment while it lasted.

The kisses on his chest and stomach soon stopped, making the boy look down to see Paul asleep, his head laying on the boy's chest, where his heart was.

He smiled softly at this, leaning down and pressing a kiss onto his forehead, making Paul hum in his sleep.

He continued staring at Paul's beautiful sleeping after, his heart fluttering. He had never felt this type of love before. He may need to learn more about love, but he knows how to share his heart with others. But this felt so different. This felt more powerful, more powerful than he felt with his mentors, his surrogate parents, and sibling love. This one felt like… a love that he would share with only one person. It was a feeling he only felt around Paul.

After a little while of stroking Paul's curly hair, his arms wrapped around his friend's waist, his legs spread with Paul laying in between them, (Your Name) fell into a peaceful sleep with Paul.

Not knowing that a war was coming.

#dune #dune movie #dune part one #dune part 1 #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts crossover #paul atreides #paul atreides x reader #paul atredies x reader #paul atreides x you #timothée chalamet #timothee chalamet x reader #timothee fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #dune fanfiction #x reader #x male reader #x male y/n

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lost-walmartbag · 7 months

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First impressions pt 2

Song

Warning: Swearing

Background: You finally meet Eric's mom

Status: ongoing

Previous part

Next part

Potato salad

"Y/N, calm down. It's ok. You don't have to stress so much." Eric said, reaching for your shoulder as you frantically ran around the kitchen.

"No! I'm meeting your mom. This has to be perfect!" You said as you looked around the kitchen cabinets.

Eric drew his hand back and stared at you. "I just- You don't have to be so nervous. My mom isn't some fancy queen of some European country neither of us can pronounce. She's just a normal person."

"Eric! Please. I don't care if you think she's normal. She's your mom. She birthed you. Raised you. I want to be on her good side." You said pulling a large glass tupperware dish from the fridge.

"Is that.." Eric started as he stared at the dish.

"Potato salad. My great grandma's recipe. I need to make an impression." You said looking up at him. "Why? Oh my god is your mom allergic to potatoes?"

"What? No." He said taking a deep breath as he thought about his next words. "Look. Y/N I love that you care so much. Really I do. But my mom is going to love you. I promise."

Eric's words made you calm down a bit. Eric smiled softly when he saw you finally take a breath, but he couldn't ignore the fact that he knew he was lying to you.

"Ok. Ok. I'll calm down. I'm gonna go get dressed, and we can head out." You said putting the Tupperware in an ice chest.

"I'll get everything in the car. Just take your time." He said, kissing your forehead and cracking a small smile. "Now go get dressed, beautiful."

As you made your way out, he gave a quick slap to your ass that was way too hard. You yelp and shoot him a glare, which he just looked away from to hide his smirk.

"Sadist." You mutter before leaving the room to get dressed.

Eric chuckled and let out a sigh. "You have no idea."

-♡-

The drive to South Park was long. Emphasis on long. It took a few hours of just driving. It was nice at first, but after a while, Eric got irritated. It was mostly from hunger. You had packed a few things but not enough to replace a whole meal.

"I'm sorry I didn't pack more." You said with a small frown.

"No no no. I should have packed something. I knew this drive was gonna be long. I'm not mad at you I just wish...I should have packed that was my bad."

"Still I'm sorry I've just been so all over the place but I should have packed food for us. I'm so stupid." You said bringing the heel of your palms to your eyes.

"Hey. None of that." He said putting his hand on your head as he focused on the road.

You put your hands down and looked at him. He smiled without facing you, but his hand moved down under your chin making you laugh softly.

"There she is. Now give me an apple. I can at least survive off that for a few more hours."

"Why don't we stop at a gas station?"

"Ya know. I um. I didn't think of that."

-♡-

After a few more hours you eventually made it to South Park and holy fuck was it snowy. You looked out the window and looked around. Not that there was much to look at.

"It's pretty."

"It's lame and small."

"A little but it's where you grew up so it can't be that bad."

"You have no idea how wrong you are." He muttered under his breath.

He drove up to a decently sized green house. The color was admittedly not very pretty but you didn't want to say that. As Eric parked in the driveway he stayed seated and let out a shaky breath.

"Hey, you ok? I kinda should be the only one nervous here." You said with a small laugh which Eric cracked a smile at but he still seemed...scared?

"I know I just...being here again. It's...fuck Y/N I don't wanna take you in there." He said looking over at you and putting his hand on your thigh.

You put your hand over his and looked into his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"There's something I didn't tell you. I'm so fucking scared to but Y/N I-"

"Eric is that you?" A woman called out from the front door.

You couldn't really see her from where you were but you could see Eric physically cringe the minute he heard her voice.

"Fuck.." He muttered before pulling away and opening his car door. You did the same and stepped out.

The woman ran over and hugged Eric. She practically jumped in his arms, but Eric stayed stiff.

"H-hey mom." He said in a shaky voice that she didn't seem to notice.

You walked over to his side and looked at them with a nervous smile. Ok Y/N this is your chance time to make a good impression.

You put out your hand and put on your warmest smile. "H-Hi I'm-"

"Who are you?" She said switching from her once sweet motherly voice to one of pure ice.

She was glaring at you with a frown and you just knew it was gonna be a long night.

Fuck how did you already fuck up?

A/N: BOOM! Double upload on your forehead! I have so many plans for this series so I'm very happy I get to post a new chapter of this. Hope you guys like this and stay with me for this story. Thank ya'll for reading I love love love you 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

#south park #south park x reader #fanfic #south park x you #x reader #eric cartman x reader #eric cartman #sp cartman #south park cartman

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firedragon1321 · 1 month

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How to Spot an AI-Generated Tai in the Wild!

Because I am insanely obsessed with the blorbo and AI art is a hot-button topic right now, here's a silly thing. I'm sure most artists can tell the difference between real and AI art. But my autistic brain wants to pick apart Tai's character design a bit so here you go. This applies to all seasons, touching on basic traits Tai has between them. So I won't go too much into clothing here (people like to dress him up in different cool outfits anyway- keep doing that).

Note that this isn't true to all models, but works 90% of the time. AI art is advancing so quickly that this may be obsolete by tomorrow. Also, real art might "fail" these little tests simply due to lack of experience drawing the character. If you suspect someone is posting AI art, just block and move on. Report if you want, but you know how Tumblr feels about AI. Most importantly? Don't use this post to be a dick.

WARNING: This post uses AI-generative images found from around the Internet for demonstrative purposes. No credit is given because if the "creators" wanted credit, they should've learned how to actually draw. :)

SKIN TONE

Tai has this nice, tanned skin tone that the rest of the Adventure DigiDestined do not have. While he keeps it in 02 and tri, he loses his color in Kizuna. A real fanart piece is most likely to reflect this, or even add color to his paler designs.

Most AI models have a generic pasty white skin tone for anime characters. This applies to any anime character, not just Tai. I believe this model might have gobbled up his Kizuna skin tone. But I've seen fake Tais even paler than this.

There are some AI models that combat this. But the standard AI identification tricks apply. Here, the tongue is mushy, and the highlights on his goggles make no sense.

HAIR OF FLOOF FLOOF

Ah yes- my point of expertise. Tai's hair is a difficult thing to draw. I don't blame anyone for dropping the ball here. But AI does have some notable, repetitive failings.

A "legit" Tai tends to have fluff, rather than spikes. The bangs consist of one stripe over the forehead. The few spikes present designate messiness, but the general shape is actually curvy (look at the top right side of the head for the most wavy lines). The size of the floof ranges between adaptions and even storyboard artists.

AI-generators are convinced that all "anime hair" is spiky. Notice this AI Tai has more spikes and less curved lines.

Then, there's this one, which drops the ball on Tai and Matt so bad that both characters resemble Bakugou from My Hero Academia.

WHO'S THAT DIGIDESTINED?

Eye shape and color has some leeway depending on the artist's style. Adventure/02, tri., and Kizuna supply three different eye styles. However, there are still some dead giveaways.

Revisiting this AI-generated image, the eyes look...familiar. No?

How about now? The modern Pokemon anime style has been completely absorbed by AI models. Sometimes, Digimon and Pokemon will be confused for each other, resulting in similar eye shapes and other traits (look at the noses, too).

HUMAN TOUCH

There's some times you can look at an art and know with confidence it was human-made, such as-

MS Paint blobs/sketches on lined paper/anything showing layers/etc. They're too unrefined for an AI image creator to want to profit off of, so why would they make them?

Some fetish art. A lot of kinksters are using AI, which is why deviantArt made good ammunition for this post. But many have distinct art styles that AI has not copied yet.

Western-cartoony art with hard or thick lines. AI is allergic to these traits atm. Notice the softer, thinner outlines on all three fakes.

Clearly attempting to master Tai's unique traits, even if they don't translate well (e.g.- a dome vaguely shaped like his hair is more credible than a "perfect" hairdo with too many spikes).

FINAL NOTES

All of this could change tomorrow, at the rate at which AI advances. I'm fairly good at deducing AI art from human-made art. But a recent piece almost tricked me (interestingly, it was Davis- not Tai- who looked off). These things are constantly evolving. But in addition to the usual tricks, knowing your blorbos can help identify AI images so you can freely block (or, when applicable, report) the idiots who made them.

#tai kamiya #digimon #taichi yagami #taiposting #fuck ai art #all of this will change in three days #character design #ai art #ai art identification #might go into tai's hair more one day there's a lot i want to say about drawing it

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unabashedcroissanttreefan · 4 months

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Okay Hello, no one knows me, I have 0 follower, I never post and no will read this but I HAD to share this Miguel O'hara/ Y/N thought, which can probably be applied to a lot of characters

Imagine : The sun is setting during a chill day in summer. In a cemetery, Miguel is sat before his sweet daughter's grave. How long has he been there ? Don't know, but when he arrived the sun was high in the blue sky. He talks to the rectangle marble stone in front of him, the picture of Gabriella never ceasing to smile.

The gravel crunches under the feet of someone, but Miguel doesn't seem to mind nor to even notice, focused on all the things he wants to tell his lovely Gabi.

The person stops in front of a grave, probably the one of someone they loved and cared for. A family member ? A friend ? Only them know. The scent of the flower bouquet they hold fill the air around. They stare at the name(s) written in golden engraved letters with a soft grin. A sigh passes through their lips as they slowly start to bend to place the colorful bouquet of hand-picked flowers, when their eyes drift to the broad figure of a man crouched on before another polished stone.

The person scan him, no ounce of judgment in their mind; He happily talks and chuckles to the photo despite the obvious remorse rolling down his cheeks.

A discreet grin is now drawn on their lips, endeared by the sight. They approach him, carefully stepping forward not to startle him, but he doesn't seem to have noticed them.

Miguel eagerly tells Gabriella about the latest news that happened in his Spider life ; how the cafeterias vending machine was completely destroyed after everyone fought for the last piece of some random candy he always found too sweet and doesn't understand the hype for, how he finally found one of Lyla's jokes funny, how he forgot what Jess looked like without her round belly and how healthy her baby is..

He is involved in each of his words.

A set of legs enter his vision. He immediately shoots his gaze up, ready to pick a fight with whoever interrupted him and Gabi in their one-sided conversation.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.." The stranger embarrassly states. While he raises an eyebrow, still perplexed, they kneel down. Their face always showed a soft expression clearly displaying their lack of wrong intentions. Under his curious eyes, the person starts to choose some flowers in the lot, seriously thinking about the one that suited the best the framed, smiling girl. Happy of their second little bouquet, they proudly grin, and place the gathering of flowers on the grave, in front of the picture.

"I hope she isn't allergic to pollen" They say, offering a warm smile to the man, who, despite being dumbfounded by their action, seems to appreciate it.

Miguel chuckles.

"She was, but she loved flowers too much to care about it. I always had to carry allergy medication because of that"

They both chuckle. He was glad to share her memory with someone

"I can't blame her ! I always loved to go on walks just to pick every kind of flowers I came across to"

"Believe me, she did the same. The appartement was always full of dead flowers because she was too sad to throw them away"

Both of them laugh, and, the now 'not really a stranger anymore' settles on their rear and crosses their legs, eager to know more.

Jeez HAAAAAA

(Fanart not mine, I don't have the name of the artist, sadly.. I randomly picked it from my gallery, I'm really deeply sorry)

Also, I'm not a native English speaker, and since this is a drabble, I didn't take the time to look for translations or correct orthography, so don't hesitate to tell me if I made a mistake, that's how Iearn haha

#miguel o'hara fanfiction #atsv x you #across the spiderverse #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel x reader #miguel o'hara x y/n #spiderman 2099 x reader #atsv #spiderman 2099

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terrapin-might · 2 months

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Leo really said "is anybody gonna else gonna have a crush on a guy, learn everything they can about street racing and become this guy's rival?" And didn't even try and wait for an answer.

When being some guy's #1 fan isn't enough so you have to become his rival. Many such cases.

But seriously, I've thought more about this and now I know how I want this au to go down. (Strap in, I won first place in the yap-olympics)

It mostly consists of one sided rivals to lovers (my favorite) and happens a bit before the S2 finale and the year between that and the movie. And if wasn't obvious from my other post, it involves street racing (something I know nothing about why'd I choose street racing ugh—)

Pictures are kinda in order too.

Leo sees Usagi race, gets a crush, gets interested in street racing. Has to see every race he competes in from now on.(Top right)

Talks about it to anyone who listens, weirdly only focuses on Usagi hmm, Mikey draws the mystery man. (Don't tell Raph, but the next time Leo called dibs on the last pizza he gave to Mikey so he could have the drawings) (Top left)

Either buys or makes his own merch but I don't think Usagi's the type to make merch or anything like that (doesn't know how, probably wouldn't get the point) tbh so we're going with made. I think April helped. (Bottom left)

And I said they meet because of Usagi saving Leo from some baddies on my last post, that still happens here, it's the first time they meet face to face (or face to Helmut) probably some of Big Mama goons Leo couldn't really fight off because weapons aren't allowed at the races so he and Usagi get to have a romantic bike chase where they try not to crash and die.

Leo deciding if you can't be their boyfriend beat them, be their rival. He trains until he can race Usagi himself. Who is actually happy to have a rival, the weirdo lol. (Bottom right)

I haven't named this AU, so I'll be taking suggestions if you have any (pls give me ideas I don't have any)

After the read more is just an update(?) about my art and posts for people who follow me.

For some reason I've seem to become allergic to digital art, so other than some comics I already planned on posting, this might be my last digital art post for a while. I can draw on paper no problem, I guess drawing on my phone has gotten tiring and my brain hates it for now. We're going traditional baby!

Which is fine because my traditional art is better imo, digital is just easier to color and I'm bad at taking pictures. Like really bad. But I still wanna post art so it'll have to do.

Luckily I was able to finish this but this will be the only nonconic digital art for a while. Had to switch it up though cause I was really struggling the first 30 mins so it's more colorful than my usual art.

Alright that's all bye!

#rottmnt #tmnt #rise leo #yuichi usagi #rise leoichi #rise leosagi #my art #my post #terrapin posting #rise mikey #rottmnt au #long post #sorry :(#ramblings

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wilders-girl · 1 year

Text

I Collect Spores, Mold, and Fungus.

Egon Spengler x Fem!Reader

PG, fluff, but also angst. I am a sad person I cannot help myself

Mild cursing, Egon feels undeserving of reader's lauv, bro cries, reader cries, everyone cries, mutual pining but they're painfully unaware

3,428 words

Not proofread bc I'm silly 🤯

This was 100% an impulse write and it was created from the hours of 12-2 AM for a fortnight. Not my best work but I am in love with this silly goofy fellow. Ray is there!!! And mentions of the other guys too! Hope u enjoy ♡

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

"So, what kind of hobbies do you have?" I meekly asked, watching Egon work from afar.

"I collect spores, mold, and fungus." He answered without skipping a beat.

I was startled at his quick answer, but responded soon enough that he wouldn't think I was judging him.

"That's quite interesting, actually." I spoke. "Do you have to take care of them like a houseplant, or something?"

Now it was his turn to look startled, glancing up at me for a moment before resuming his work.

"In a way, yes. I observe their progress as they grow and record differences between members of the same species and such."

He adjusted the dial on his microscope and changed the slide.

"Obviously, they're less demanding than a houseplant." He finished.

"I can understand that." I nodded.

"God, it seems like houseplants are allergic to tap water. Only the finest H2O for you, my liege!" I joked, shaking my head.

The corners of his mouth pulled up in a small smile, and I felt my heartbeat quicken at the sight.

A moment of silence passed before I spoke again.

"Fungi sound easier to take care of by a long shot. Do you have any favorite types?"

He paused his research and looked up at me, seemingly amazed again.

I had an apologetic expression and started to stand up from my awkward position on the couch.

"Sorry if I'm bothering you, I can go back upstairs if you'd like-."

"No!" He interjected, wide-eyed.

"Sorry. I just…" He trailed off for a second, analyzing the best way to say what he wanted to.

"I didn't expect you to actually be interested in my hobby." He spoke slowly, as if each word carried more meaning than at face value.

"I didn't think anyone cared."

"Oh, Spengs," I placed my hand on my chest. "I'm sorry. If it means anything, I'm not lying. I really do think it's interesting."

I felt a wave of sadness envelop me as I realized how he'd felt all this time. Reading between the lines, I knew what he really meant.

"I didn't think anyone cared about me."

He swallowed and locked eyes with me, his eyebrows furrowed in sincerity.

"Thank you."

His voice carried heavy emotion, very off-brand for the usually stoic scientist.

Snapping out of his trance, he got up from his desk himself and walked over to me.

"Would you like to see my favorite specimens?" His voice was quiet, very hesitant. Like if he spoke too loudly, I'd disappear.

I smiled up at him, and we made eye contact again.

"I'd love to."

I felt something change between us the moment we looked into each other’s eyes. He let his shoulders relax a little, he smiled a little wider than his typical smirk, and his gaze softened behind those thick glasses. The most insignificant changes meant so much for a man like him. I could tell, though, at that moment, that he trusted me. Somehow, this cold, unsociable man allowed me into his world, a heavily guarded fortress. All because I showed him a little bit of love. And he had no idea how much I had to give him.

After putting on sterile gloves, he carefully took a petri dish from the top rack, closest to the heat lamp, and showed me a funky looking pink fuzz.

"This," He began, a smug look appearing on his face, "Is one of my top three favorite specimens. This is fusarium oxysporum, a type of filamentous fungi that occurs most commonly as a soil-borne pathogen to many plants. This one's a tough specimen; it's survived nearly every experiment I've put it through."

I analyzed it in his hands, admiring the dark magenta color.

"Why is this one of your favorites?" I asked, looking back up at him.

He looked away in embarrassment.

"I like the color." He muttered.

I laughed softly at that.

"I expected a more scientific answer, Dr." I joked.

He sighed and looked for another specimen near the middle racks, and I laughed again at his shyness.

"Ah. There it is." He sported his signature half-smile.

He brought out a piece of a tree branch, and his eyes gleamed.

"This one is terana caerulea, also known as the velvet blue spread. It's a saprobic crust fungus commonly found on the underside of fallen trees in deciduous forests."

"I really like the texture of this one!" I looked at the specimen closely. "It really is like velvet."

"Mhm. This one was the most vivid sample I could find when Ray forced us to go camping upstate a few years back. As you can see, it's been doing pretty well, too."

I snickered at the thought of the boys, especially Egon, going camping. It just didn't sound real.

"And why is this one of your favorites, Dr?" I teased.

He looked down at me and smiled.

"I like the color."

I laughed again, missing the look of adoration he sent me as I did.

"Is it your favorite color?" I asked once I regained my composure.

Looking away quickly to hide the fact he was looking so intently at me, he nodded.

"I guess it is."

I kept that in the back of my mind. Just in case I needed that information someday.

He discarded his gloves, washed his hands and walked back over to his desk, and I followed, standing a polite distance from him. I needed to tell him something.

"Hey, Spengs?" I quietly asked.

He turned around and raised an eyebrow, leaning on the desk.

I fidgeted with the ring on my little finger.

"I really like talking to you, you know. I think you're great."

I paused, looking at the floor.

"I guess it's because you treat me like an equal. I guess more like an actual human being if we're comparing you to Venkman. But, like, I never feel stupid or out of place when I'm around you. It's the opposite, actually. I feel really comfortable around you. You make me really happy, Egon."

I smiled at the ground, feeling as though I'd just run a marathon. My face was terribly overheated, I could feel it. For a second, I regretted this random burst of confidence and wanted to crawl into a hole and rot so maybe he'd collect the fungus growing on my dead body.

I looked up at him for a quick second and saw him with furrowed brows and pursed lips. Tears were threatening to spill over his eyes as he looked away from me.

I automatically assumed the worst and let my arms hang limp at my sides in my shameful retreat upstairs. I did too much.

"Aw, Spengler, I'm sorry -"

I was cut off by the feeling of arms wrapping tightly around my torso in a hug before I could take a step away.

I was shocked. It took me a couple of seconds to realize what was going on and melt into the sensation.

He shook gently in my arms as silent sobs escaped him.

I closed my eyes and whispered sweet nothings to him while rubbing circles on his back. It probably looked a little awkward from an outsider's perspective since he was bent so far over my smaller frame, but I wouldn't have had it any other way.

For a moment, I tried to discard my feelings for him. I told myself he needed me as a friend at that moment, and blinked back a few tears of my own as I realized a friend was all he wanted me as, selfish as it was in that moment.

I tried to calm the fluttering in my heart as he held me even closer and let out a shaky sigh.

"I'm sorry, I should have asked -"

It was my turn to cut him off now.

"Hey, don't be sorry. You're alright. I'm here for you." I spoke softly in the crook of his neck.

He pulled away, to my dismay, and immediately looked at the ground, upset at himself.

"This is completely irrational of me, I'm truly very sorry." He mumbled.

I reached a hand out towards his, silently asking permission to hold it.

He hesitantly took my shaky hand in his cold one.

"I should be the one to apologize, Egon. I brought it up out of nowhere, and it was just weird of me to say. I'm sorry for making things weird. I just wanted you to know that you're appreciated, and I really do think you're worth my attention and time.

He whispered my name.

"You make me happy too." He was still looking down, but a bit of the sadness was erased from his eyes.

"Ever since I met you, you've brought me nothing but happiness in my life. Nobody really tries to understand me like you do. And…"

He slightly tightened his grip on my hand.

"I'm sorry if I ever make it seem like I don't value you. I'm aware that I don't express my emotions as clearly as other people, but I wish I was clearer with you. You are one of my favorite people. You mean a lot to me as a friend."

I felt my heart drop a little at those words, and I looked at the floor. I mentally cursed myself for focusing on the "friend" part, when it was obvious he needed me to be a friend and be there for him right now.

"You mean a lot to me in general." He paused.

"Maybe even beyond friendship." He spoke under his breath. If there had been any other noise, I wouldn't have heard him say it.

I snapped my head up to look at him in shock.

He took off his glasses and wiped away the remnants of his tears with the sleeve of his lab coat, breaking our hand-holding and eye contact.

I couldn't muster up the courage to say anything as he put his glasses back on and looked at me confused.

"Are you alright?" He said my name.

I still couldn't speak, and all I could do was look up at him. Maybe I was hearing things. Swallowing thickly, I broke our eye contact again.

"Shit." He muttered, quickly bringing a hand up over his mouth.

I looked back up at him to see his face creased in worry.

"Did I say that out loud?"

I felt my ears go hot and looked away while nodding.

He hissed a string of profanities and turned around to rummage through the drawers in his desk.

"I'm sorry," He shakily said my name, "I wasn't thinking straight. Please forgive me. It's unlike me to speak without thinking, God I'm an idiot!" He rambled, still looking through his drawers with a prominent redness in his cheeks.

"Did you mean it?" I whispered, effectively snapping him out of his quest.

He made eye contact with me, brows knotted, and opened his mouth like he was going to speak but decided against it. He began to scour the drawers again.

"There it is." He pulled out a small journal and clutched it tightly.

He stared intently down at it, eyes flitting to me occasionally as he spoke.

"I'm not very good at… conversing 'without a script', so to speak."

He cleared his throat.

"I, uh, figured it would be better for me to not… speak… when this situation came around."

He held his lips shut and handed the book towards me with a shaky hand. His eyes were still trained on the book, even though I was looking at him.

I hesitantly accepted the journal from him and looked at him to ask permission to read it. He nodded and leaned against the desk, picking at his fingers in anxiety as I opened it to the first page.

---

10/3

We hired a new worker today. She's going to assist Janine in taking calls. I overheard some of the interview walking upstairs to get food, and it seems she's more well-versed in paranormal studies than Janine. I might have to quiz her on that later.

10-27

After getting to know her a little better, I've decided she is worthy of entering my lab. I let her come down today to investigate, and she seemed quite intrigued by the happenings down here. I wonder what she found so fascinating. I couldn't ask her, I'm not sure why.

10-30

It's become increasingly more difficult for me to speak to her about personal affairs. I'm still unsure why. She's easy to get along with, and I seem to be able to converse with her just fine, but I freeze up when she does certain things.

11-2

I've noticed a pattern with the phenomena that triggers my inability to interact with her. I've found that it happens most when she smiles or laughs, gets close to me, makes physical contact with me, etc. The PKE didn't pick up any suspicious readings from her, so maybe there's something wrong with me. I'll run an experiment tomorrow.

11-3

The research shows I'm completely fine, but she still renders me speechless. After work today, she changed into a very flattering dress, saying that she was going out with her friend for drinks. It was, at face value, a regular dress. Though, somehow, it looked stunning on her. I didn't realize I was smiling until she pointed it out. I fear that I might have a different problem than I imagined.

11-15

My problem is most definitely not paranormal. It's biological. She was in the lab again today, helping me with my temperature-related differentiation study with the penicillium species. She comes down here on slow days when Janine tells her she can handle the work. When I moved to take the petri dish out of her hand, I accidentally brushed my fingers with hers and almost dropped the specimen. She was warm, but that wasn't what was alarming to me. I simply enjoyed the feeling. I enjoyed her presence, and I enjoyed her as a person in my life. I liked seeing her happy, and couldn't bear seeing her sad. I realized a simple truth at that moment: she made me happy and I wanted to make her happy too. Irrational it may seem, but she means the world to me.

11-22

I have come to a conclusion. How can I tell her without making a fool of myself? I fear it cannot be done. I can't say my feelings aloud to her. But I need to let her know how much she means to me.

11-23

I'm giving her this journal.

11-27

Since you've come this far in reading this, I want to tell you the facts, since it's easiest for me to think in a logical way. After running some studies on myself, i've come to some conclusions. When I make physical contact with you, my heartbeat quickens an average of 15%. After a prolonged interaction with you, I've recorded that the dopamine levels in my brain rise around 3 pg/ml. I find that when you're gone, I think about you around 2 times per minute; sometimes more, sometimes less. It's so comfortable for me to live in the analytical, logical world, but oftentimes you make me want to forget the science. You've made me feel things I just cannot explain. You have made me smile more than I have in years. I just feel happier with you, I don't know how to explain it. I have this irrational yearning for you. I want to see you happy, and I want to be the cause for your happiness. I want to be near you and see you at all times so I never forget how beautiful you are. I want to touch you, to be close to you so you can fill me with the warmth you bring in my heart. That, I can't explain. Therefore, logical or not, the signs point to one clear idea. I am in love with you. I felt you needed to know. I couldn't keep making excuses for my strange behavior. Thank you for reading this.

---

I closed the journal and felt a tear drip off my face. Wiping my eyes, I didn't realize I'd been crying until I felt the cold wetness against my fingertips. I sat there for a minute, collecting my thoughts and composure, and set the book down on Egon's desk.

Without a second thought, I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around him. This time, not bothering to be reserved with my emotions. I held him to me as tight as I could and felt euphoric by his reciprocal. I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy the feeling like I was on cloud nine.

Breathing in his scent one last time, I pulled away slightly and looked up at him. I probably looked like shit, but I didn’t care.

"I love you, too." I smiled.

He breathed out a sigh of relief and we went right back to our embrace.

I giggled, thinking about how nervous he was to not mess anything up. He was always so considerate of me. I didn't know why I never realized it. Then again, I guess he didn't realize it either.

He muttered my name, and I pulled away again to look at him, though I'd have stayed entwined with him forever if I could.

"Thank you." He smiled softly at me.

I reached for his hands and held them level with my shoulders as I leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek.

He blinked a couple times and looked away shyly, a rose tinge washing over his cheeks and ears. I could only giggle at how adorable he looked at that moment. I never wanted to stop kissing him.

He pulled away, still smiling, and shut off his machinery for the evening. I reached for the journal again and smiled, thinking of the unspoken words in there. I learned that he was not a man of few words, rather, he just didn't voice his thoughts aloud. What he did say aloud was always the most meaningful or efficient of his thoughts.

"It's late." He spoke softly, turning around to face me. "You should get some rest."

I rolled my eyes.

"And you shouldn't?"

"I can function on an hour of sleep, thank you very much." He teased.

"Tell you what, Dr. I'll sleep if you sleep." I raised my eyebrows in mock defiance.

"There's no way to hold each other accountable for that, you know. You could be lying and stay up another few hours."

I clicked my tongue and pointed at him.

"That's exactly what someone who isn't about to sleep would say."

He shook his head with a half-smile.

"What, do you plan to hold me accountable somehow? Make me pay if I don't follow your bidding?"

I cocked my head, pretending to think about it.

"Doesn't sound half bad, actually. Renowned scientist Egon Spengler groveling at the feet of a woman who wants him to sleep."

He laughed, the sound I love so much. Then, an idea popped into my head. I slowly let my grin grow like a Cheshire cat.

"What if I did hold you accountable?"

He narrowed his eyes on me in confusion.

"If you crash at my place, I'd know you aren't cheating."

His eyes widened, and he suddenly took off his glasses to inspect them so as to break our eye contact.

But he didn't refuse.

I slowly stepped closer to him and took the glasses out of his hands to make him look at me again.

"What do you say, Spengs?" I innocently batted my eyelashes at him.

He looked away and swallowed, clearly flustered.

"You can say no." I spoke in a more serious tone, handing him back his glasses.

He put them back on and looked down at me with a surprising amount of confidence in his eyes, demeanor, and voice.

"Deal." He muttered.

—

We left the station shortly after, quietly conversing on our way out. Ray was still working on the Ecto-1 and squinted up at us from the car. His eyes widened when they landed on our entwined hands, and the cigarette almost fell out of his mouth in a shocked expression.

Egon turned around briefly and gave him a look I couldn't figure out. Ray nodded in acceptance and went back to work, whispering a "good night, you two," probably not to wake Peter "Sleeping Beauty" Venkman upstairs. With a wave and a smile, we exited the premises.

He fell asleep first.

—

A/n: oh my days writing this HEALED me. I've been in a tough situation with someone irl for a couple months and it just killed any semblance of happiness I believed still lived in me. Like seriously I try to play it off bc I'm cool but it made me really sad. AND COMBINED W SCHOOL I JUST. seething. But I'm back!!! And fictional men are helping me regain my hope for humanity (and maybe men). Sorry for the long break, but I am back on my bullshit now 😈

#egon spengler x reader #ghostbusters egon #egon x reader #egon spengler #ghostbusters #oneshot

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redditreceipts · 6 months

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how to get around in a world that requires you to wear make-up

I know that in an ideal world, nobody would be required to wear make-up and everyone would just do whatever they want. but sadly, that is not the reality (yet), and especially women from marginalized groups, such as women of color and disabled women are expected to wear make-up to be treated as human. also, many jobs require you to wear make-up as a woman or you can prepare to be treated like dogshit. If you can avoid wearing make-up in your daily life, that's great and I'm not telling anyone to change that.

The main problems I have with make-up are:

make-up forces you to always be aware of what you are doing with your face. you can't rub your eyes, you can't touch your face, you can't get wet or sweat or cry

make-up limits the type of activities you can do spontaneously: you can't just jump into a lake because you feel like it, you can't take a nap whereever you want, you can't to sports, you can't cry, etc.

make-up takes up a lot of time every day that you don't have to do other stuff

so here are some things to at least mitigate the problems with that:

dye your lashes: you can buy lash dye on amazon, it is permanent and you can do it at home. It will look like light mascara, last for up to six weeks, and can be easily redone. You can do everything with dyed lashes and they don't smudge, dissolve in water, etc., and it's also really cheap

dye your eyebrows: you can buy some cheap permanent hairdye in the store a couple of shades darker than your hair color, do a test 48 hours prior to see whether you are allergic, and then dye your eyebrows so they look like they are "done" all the time for about 3 weeks. you can do everything you like with dyed eyebrows :)

use lip stain or lip oil for blush and lipstick: lip stain, especially some color-changing types, stain the skin for a while and don't go away with water or when you rub your cheeks or eat something.

if you have the right skin tone, use henna: I'm pale as snow, but there are people who can use henna as a natural and lasting replacement for lipliner or doing their brows

do your own lashes: you can curl your own lashes using a kit off of amazon, which will last about six weeks. it is a bit difficult, but you will be able to jump around and do all kinds of activities and your eyelashes will still look "done"

use stud earrings that glitter or shine: for some reason, if you wear stud earrings that glitter or shine, you will look more "put together". you can invest in a pair made from metals that don't oxidise, then put then in and basically forget about them.

and, of course, speak to your female colleagues to change a discriminatory working environment! Especially if you are able to do so, organise! join a union! it shouldn't do like this!

and yeah, I know, in an ideal world any of this wouldn't be necessary, but I thought I'd give my tips for all of those who are expected to wear make-up but don't want to be limited in their range of motion or spend a lot of time everyday doing their make-up. but this is, of course, not the end of the conversation. it is just a band-aid over a larger issue we have to solve societally, and it can not solve the problem of women being expected to alter their appearance.

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kaikamahine · 4 months

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hard read under the cut. tw for death.

things i wish i wouldn't have to remember

the way her eyes bulged.

her tongue, pushing out between her teeth. i tried to pry her jaws apart, to clear her airway, but they were locked tight. i couldn't. her tongue was bleeding.

her eyes bulged. they pointed in different directions. like a ghibli character, enraged.

"i'm a little dizzy," she had said, before she listed to one side. before her eyes did that awful thing.

i grabbed her face. i righted it. i pointed it at me.

"mom!" i called. "yeah?" she said. "MOM!" i called. her eyes slid back to center, on me. "what?" she said. it wasn't speaking, really. her mouth barely moved. her tongue pushed.

these were the last words she said to me.

i was right there, kneeling in front of her. her head in my hands. calling to her.

her color was bad. so so bad.

i saw her eyes go away. i saw her stop breathing.

i hauled her to the floor. you need a hard surface to start cpr. her jaws rigid, couldn't clear her airway. called 911. wailed. mom's not breathing! mom's not breathing!

chest compressions. 911 had to remind me how to place my hands.

my brother told me, later, when i told him i was never going to forget how her eyes went fixed, that he was never going to forget the sight of me, throwing all my weight onto her chest.

he was there, throwing open the front door and hauling furniture out of the way. could hear sirens now. dog barking.

men coming in. man with a braid said, "i'll take over from here, sweetheart." his chest compressions looked a lot different from mine.

lot of men after that. women, too. all in blue. lots of plastic on the floor. they cut her sweatshirt off. the teal one, with the poinsettias. her shirt, her bra. she always tucked kleenex in her bra, for when her pants pockets were too far away. it went everywhere.

a machine. like an engine. they put it over her chest and strapped her wrists to it, so she was holding it up. it did the chest compressions now. hard. her body jerked with each one. she would have liked to see it.

a man, to me: is she allergic to anything? me, to him: everything. but nothing medical.

him, to me: does she have any health problems? me, to him: everything. breast cancer, diabetes, bad kidneys, eczema.

him, to the others: diabetic. get a sugar.

it was 570.

the thought, then, like a blow. like an axe to the head: had /I/ done this?

she just had a bout of diarrhea. i KNEW she tended to slide on her diet when she had the runs, to keep up her salts.

diabetic means no starch. but she needs a high fiber diet, too, her doctor said, and there's fiber in beans, peas, some vegetables. but the most fiber is in grains.

so we compromised. i would give her a high-fiber cereal for breakfast, when she was most likely to take her insulin straight afterward. healthy blood sugars are below 120. she usually ran in the 200s, even fasting.

never 570.

i didn't think about how she'd probably eaten something salty starchy. i didn't think that she probably would have forgotten her nightly insulin. i gave her breakfast as usual.

i didn't know, then, that it had been her heart. i thought it was a diabetic coma.

we were on the floor for half an hour. they stopped the machine twice, to check. i knew what a flatline sounded like.

a man, to me: sometimes in this situation we can call it. but your mother's markers are rising, which tells me her body wants to function. we'll take her to the hospital so they can try.

onto the stretcher. out the door.

it's december. below freezing. they put the blanket under her, to protect her from the stretcher. nothing on top of her. because of the machine, maybe?

my mom is hard to embarrass. but outside with all those men around with her breasts hanging out in the air would have flustered even her, i think.

hospital. there was an underground garage for parking. i was still in my nightdress. i'd grabbed a sweatshirt for my mom, thinking she'd want one since they cut her other one off, but i'd forgotten anything for me. fuck, it was cold.

a room in the lobby with a door that shut.

then a doctor. i don't remember her name. and trista, the chaplain.

it doesn't look good, they said. would you like to see her?

of course i would. what kind of question is that.

it was the first room inside the doors. so many people swarming. i couldn't have gotten to my mom's side even if i wanted.

doctor touched my arm. pointed to the heart monitor. said, surprised, "the situation's turned around. they've got her."

said, "but she was gone for so long. i want to manage your expectations. the brain damage is likely very severe."

i would take care of her no matter what, i said. she's my mom.

i wish

i wish now

with all my heart

i wish i had called out to her. while they had her. while she was there.

i wish i wish i wish

mom don't you dare leave me. mom you're going to be so mad if you miss this. mom. mom mom mama. don't leave me here.

but i didn't want to interrupt. mom was a retired medical professional. she trusted the process implicitly. and so many people were working so hard to save her.

she crashed again. they called it at 11:27am.

do you know the strangeness of a body in a hospital with nothing hooked up to it?

there's no mistaking a corpse for anything else.

her forehead was cold. her hand was cold. i hadn't brushed her hair yet that morning, so it was frizzing out of the braid she'd slept in. they'd closed her eyes.

i think i stroked her forehead so much that my warmth transferred into her, because when my brother got there it was better.

trista said (and signed, to our surprise,) take all the time you need.

but, not long later, and with genuine regret, i'm so sorry, but they need the room.

oh no, i said to my mom, i'm going to steal one more kiss. and did.

a frequent joke. would kiss her head once i'd gotten her comfy on the sofa, and then goblin scuttle back to steal one more. she'd laugh. oh no! she'd echo. not my daughter! not a kiss! her short term memory had been fraying, so it was a new joke every time.

closed the door behind my brother and i.

trista had been right: the er waiting room was packed. standing room only. with us, tear-stained, and trista, it was obvious what kind of procession we were. i hoped it helped someone; no one's ever in the er for anything good, but i hoped someone could look at us and think, at least i'm not them.

home, then.

my brother had tidied. cleaned the plastic up and the remains of mom's clothes, and her pill bottle that i'd knocked to the floor when i'd hauled her off the sofa. he'd adjusted the pillows, straightened the towel. it looked like a sofa in anyone's living room, not like the place my mother had nestled into and lived for the last six years.

her doctor called. emily. we saw her once a month. she's genuinely the best. all those posts warning you about bad faith doctors and to not be afraid to be firm and finding one to take you seriously, and we found her on the first try.

it had just come through on the patient portal, she said. oh my god, oh my god, honey. i'm so sorry.

emily, i said. wailed, really. emily, did i kill her? her blood sugar was 570.

no, she said. no no no. elizabeth, no. it was her heart. it says right here. it was a heart attack.

it was the first i'd heard of it.

how, i said. how? her heart was the only thing that wasn't wrong with her!

but there's no answer to that, of course.

it's so quiet.

it's two days, now. and it's so quiet. no tv, no wheels clattering on the tile as she trundles to the bathroom or into the kitchen to get more iced tea from the fridge. no one calling for me to maybe do that last thing for her, pretty please.

so quiet. my mom's not here.

things i am likely never ever ever to forget

it's the same list

#family death tw #i want to do another post. about all the good things i'm going to remember.#but i think i have to wrestle my way through the gruesome first #and put it in its place

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