#i wrote it somewhere i cant remember but i am making them fall in love in every timeline au world and shit and fuck and whatever so the
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me realising that to continue the mbfw au fic i will have to write fenix kissing and loving someone else
#rena.txt#it's been all fun and giggles until fenix actually has to marry someone and that someone isn't vesper..clown shoes on and big tears rn#i wrote it somewhere i cant remember but i am making them fall in love in every timeline au world and shit and fuck and whatever so the#thought rn has me 🍤 fried shrimp. still tho so much fun and drama..tancred (nix's brother) will be there and lord the mayhem he will cause#also i'm squeezing a fake dating trope into this mess bc vesper in a moment of Panic tells him that she ha company for the wedding and that#company is r/gue. yes you heard it right. i thought of p/nam since these two 👁️ ya know. but how i thought of it would end up hurting#queen nam feelings while with r/gue it's like. i hate this man more than anything in the world (and i kinda still like my ex ves) so i'll#just agree to the acting. LORD THIS AU IS EVERYTHING TO ME I WANT TO WRITE IT FOR DAYS. its funny but it also has :( moments#sorry for being talkative today i emerged from my depression cave for the weekend. i'll shut up again on monday since i will have to do#things that will make me anxious and upset me greatly. peace and love clearly not for me#also as last thing on the fake dating part. literally imagine how pathetic nix is making her to ask her ex to pretend they are still a#couple. it literally makes me unwell. vesper's insane & pathetic era truly.
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I'm reading a lot of things about Hidge's sexuality canon wise. So taking account on what Nick and Matt Lang said (as much as I remember it without rewatching the video proof lol) my argument on why the canon sexuality of Prof. Henry Hidgens is that he is bisexual and Objectumsexual.
Well I think canon wise he is not polyamorous. I can accept that (i have no problem with him being poly canon wise. I am not anti-poly, just faithful with canon) but I remember Nick Lang or even Matt did not specify it. They said, within along the lines/paraphrasing: Henry loves his six boy friends, they are special to him, but Chad IS the apple of his eye. The last sentence they meant romantically.
So why bisexual and not gay? To make it clear, I have no problem with him being gay. I'm willing to be corrected. But since I'm arguing that he's bisexual, well let me start. Of course we haven't seen Hidge talk about or falling in love with specific women characters in the saga so far, however he did say in TGWDLM " Alexa, I love you like every woman flesh and bone", so there ya go. If he can find a woman that is subordinate to him like Alexa and Siri, then he can have a relationship with a woman. Come to think of it, i think he loves Chad the most because I hypothesize Chad always goes along with his plans/ideas. Yes I believe if I were to analyze his relationship personality, he wants to be the dominant in the relationship. He's very controlling and spirals when he doesn't get his way. Which why this is a good segway to...
And with the mention of two famous AI virtual assistants, I think it's enough to say that Hidge has objectophilia. More so in NMT episode Time Bastard where he shared his sexual rendezvous with either one of them to Ted and implied how he did it (some imagination and a little elbow grease or any lube lol). Not to mention that he talks to Alexa and Siri like they're humans.
Fun fact, I read somewhere that people who have this sexual orientation cant handle keeping a relationship with another human because they're too controlling hence having a relationship with an object is easier because it has no thoughts, no opinions to consider.
Also, this can also be a result of a trauma. Him losing his friends, especially Chad, during a lightning strike attack did not just lead him to isolation and practicing survival instincts, but also drove him to loving objects instead cause at least they won't experience terrible human deaths.
Here is the source: https://www.hindustantimes.com/sex-and-relationships/decoding-objectophilia-5-reasons-why-people-fall-in-love-with-objects/story-LMvWWzhs257dD47yxNGC9H.html
UPDATE: these facts are more connected to the character that is Prof Henry Hidgens whose personality reflects the generalizing views of the orientation better. Real life Objectums are a lot more complicated than that and can act against stereotypes/generalization. Thanks @fork-bork for reminding me.
Also further explanation: ur friends can be ur life partners (hence there are old people living with friends in their twilight years) and some people like calling their friends as boyfriends or girlfriends. Hidge is just comfortable with his sexuality and closeness with his friends that he can call his male friends as his boyfriends. I think that's just Jeff's word play and humor going on as he wrote the song. And according to the song "it takes balls": Steve was a priest, Leighton was in a relationship with a person named Gary, and Greg was seeing/dating Steve's mom. Plus all of the boys, sans Chad and Henry, were attracted to females while at college based on their locker room talk acted by the Workin Girls cast.
I'm not like Unhidge Hidge, so tell me about ur thoughts/opinions/rebuttals as long as ur taking account of what I wrote here. Especially proof from the Langs with ur rebuttal. Of course in head canon or fan fic world, anything is free reins and you can experiment with Hidge's sexuality there. Just make sure to specify if it's canon or head canon so to avoid confusion and arguments.
Update:
I have the urge to check my HHP Working Boys screen recordings where Nick and Matt discussed Henry's relationship with the boys if it's poly or not. Update 2: Okay I watched it and Nick just says that Chad is his favorite so get out of that as you wish. But since the boys did their locker room talk about girls without Henry and Chad, I don't think the boys were making out with each other unless maybe just Henry and Chad if it's not unreciprocated from Henry's side.
I can understand if most fans think Henry is gay and not bi since Nick and Matt have not given more concrete proof of his attraction to human females. My only arguments with him being bi is that he loves and has done sexual acts with Alexa and Siri, AI virtual assistants with female names and voices. (NMT episode: Time Bastard).
#starkid#team starkid#hatchetfield#prof henry hidgens#professor henry hidgens#henry hidgens#Alexa#Siri#And Chad#Workin Boys#jeff blim song lyrics#it takes balls#nightmare time series#time bastard#tgwdlm
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Prompts 1 & 11 x Namjoon
""give me time, give us time" x "we're not just friends, and you fucking know it"
see prompt list here
for @ultimatenoona ! thanks for requesting and keeping me busy :) I wrote this on the train ride home from work
you asked me to pick between one and eleven, decided to merge them because why not
Enjoy!!
warnings- angst, swearing, sadness
you remember the night often, it was a new years eve party and all your friends were off somewhere either drunk, making out, high or depressed.
Where did you fall in the middle of all of that?
on the back balcony with your best friend Namjoon, who had just taken you off guard, kissing you when the clock had struck midnight.
you dragged him outside to speak privately
"Im sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I never meant to" he mumbled shyly, unable to look at you.
"you didnt, joon, I was just kinda shocked....I wasnt expecting it"
He nodded, his eyes stuck on the beer can in his grasp.
"Hoseok actually is the one who told me to do it" he snickered, making you smile
"oh yeah?"
"mm" he finally looked at you, hearing amusement in your voice. "He told me to man up and just confess already...which probably is something I should have done before...you know...kissing you"
You blushed harshly, making you reach out to grasp his hand, "I think you just did"
He giggled quietly and nodded, seeming embarrassed "yeah...guess I did"
You smiled at him softly
"I mean, can you blame me? you are so beautiful"
"joon" you giggled, covering your face
He stood up, looking down at you "all my friends doubted me whenever I told em about you" he began "they tried to brush off the closeness as just friendship....but"
You stood up, taking his hand and meeting his face closer
He whispered, cold breath hitting your skin "we're not just friends...and you fucking know it" he smirked
You nervously bit your lip, smiling
To be fair, this thing with him has been slowly burning for a while now, and so although you were shocked he made the move to kiss you, you weren't as surprised to hear that he had an infatuation with you.
You couldnt lie....you had developed feelings for your friend as well
"No.." you shook your head "I guess we aren't huh?"
the memory makes you smile, its something that provides a warm feeling every time it comes into your brain.
You wish that in this current moment however, things were similar to how you two bonded then...all those years ago.
Now, you were adults with responsibilities and work and family.
The both of you had been dating for almost 6 years now, moving in together, doing everything by each others side, you loved every second of it....but you also needed more.
Not from him, but from life itself.
You both werent worried about if you had a wedding or not, it wasnt a main priority for either of you despite your parents urges.
He worked a job 5 days a week, mostly gone from 7am, and getting home at midnight, all while you stayed home and tried to keep yourself busy.
You both had even tried to have a baby, but after months of no luck and a doctors appointment, you were told that it wouldnt be possible. It broke you, leaving you not want to leave home even more so, and of course it took a strain on your relationship.
He stayed out later, you never left that damn room unless it was to cook something for him that he wouldnt even end up appreciating.
You loved him, so fucking much, but you felt helpless as if nothing you did could or would fix the position you both had been in for quite some time. You wanted to live again, You wanted to go back to school and work and begin to experience life once more...but it was impossible to do here.
You both never spoke to eachother anymore, that is, until one night
"we cant keep doing this." you mumbled into the pillow, it had to have been around 4:30 am when he climbed into bed, he reeked of alcohol.
"what?" he was startled, looking over at your laying body, facing away from him.
Finally, you sat up with tears in your eyes, facing him
"honey...." he frowned and tried to hold your hand but you pulled back, "what is going on joon?" you whispered
"what do you mean? everything is fine"
"fine? this is the longest conversation we have had in weeks and you call this fine?" you sniffled, scoffing slightly as he sat against the headboard.
He wasnt sure what to say, so he shrugged
"im tired" you suddenly spoke again
"then...go to sleep sweetheart, im sorry i woke you-"
"no, im tired of this. tired of you pretending you care when you dont, because if you did you wouldnt fucking be coming home so late, you would fucking text me, you would fucking show me some appreciation once in a while, and you would at least fucking TALK TO ME!" you began to shout, standing out of the bed in frustration as warm tears fell off your cheeks.
His eyes widened, heart squeezing as he felt the wind knock out of him. Yes things were rough, but he didnt know it had been this bad.
"and yes..I know we have had a hard year, I know Namjoon, and Im sorry to put it all on you, but we are supposed to be a team, I love you and it feels like you stopped loving me back"
He stood to his feet quickly and made his way in front of you, "no- no no, Y/N, I-I love you so much, baby.." he held you, "why didnt you say anything earlier?"
"because you are never home!!!" you cried, pushing away
"im sorry...i dont blame you for anything, you didnt do anything wrong, the baby-"
"its more than that, I feel stuck here" you gestured between the both of you, anger filling your body.
He looked at you, pleading eyes
"I cant...I cant do it anymore" you exhale shakily
"no" he stepped closer, instantly falling to his knees in front of your legs. "baby...im sorry" he whispered, feeling tears prick his own eyes. "i'll do better, we can get better I promise, Whatever you want ill get you, we can get married, is that it? is that what you want? anything.... just please- dont leave me" he pressed his face against your thigh as you looked down at him
"I dont know what to say Namjoon" you cry, hand wiping your tears "I am over all of it"
He grasped your hand and looked up, "honey...please no no, im here, I will change we can do better" his eyes were wide, youve never seen him so vulnerable. "give me time, give us time....we- we can do it, yeah?"
You shrugged helplessly "we are gonna need to fix a lot more than you think...."
He nodded quick, "anything baby, anything, we will start as soon as we can....i cant do this without you" he pressed himself closer to you as you both cried, emotions on ice as the rooms tension and sadness infiltrated your hearts.
"dont leave...dont leave..." he whispered, repeating it to himself.
"....I wont"
#bts#bts fanfic#kim namjoon#namjoon#bts namjoon#namjoon x y/n#namjoon smut#bangtan#bts fic#junkook#hoseok#seokjin#jimin#yoongi#taehyung#writing requests#bts requests#open requests#requests open
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You Said Forever (c.h)
Pairing: Calum Hood x Reader
Requested: Yes!
Summary: Based on the song “Driver’s License” by Olivia Rodrigo. You did everything you could to get over him, you talked to friends, went on long drives and even wrote him a song. Why cant you just let him go?
Warnings: Angst. Language. Mentions of alcohol. Some grammar mistakes? (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)
Word count: 6.7 k
Author’s Note: I’m so excited someone requested this! I highly recommend listening to the song before you read, references are in the text and dialogs. Please remember that Reblogs, Coments, Feedback and Likes are more than welcome and encouraged! You don’t know how much they help me 💕 Hope you like it and Happy reading 🦋
Fic of the week // My Materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?
@rime-warrior : Hey love! Has anyone requested an imagine for Calum based on the song “Drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo yet? I think you’re the only one who would be able to do it any justice 😭💕
“I still see your face in the white cars, front yards
Can't drive past the places we used to go to
'Cause I still fucking love you, babe”
You could hear the doorbell ring over the thunderous storm raging outside. It was late, probably closer to midnight than you imagined. Who could possibly be outside right now? especially in this kind of weather?
After four consecutive rings, you decided to get up from your spot on the bed and walk up to the door. It must be something very important for someone to startle you that way.
Once you got closer to the door you could also distinguish some strong bangs coming from the other side accompanied by the endless ringing “Okay, okay! I’m coming!” You called, but whoever was standing opposite to you mustn’t have heard you as they continued to disrupt the peace of a stormy night.
A shiver ran down your spine before you could reach the doorknob, almost like the ghost of a feeling, a warning for you not to open the door. Despite your common sense, you decided to open the door, already being too late to go back.
“Calum?”
He was standing in front of you, completely drenched from head to toes. His breathing was uneven, almost like he ran all the way over here, but his eyes were set on yours, unmoving as you both tried to take each other in.
“Calum-what is?-” Your words got stuck in your mouth as he pushed himself forward, grabbing your face delicately as he clashed his lips with yours.
You felt yourself melt into the kiss, making it everything you ever wished for. You wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss as you brought him closer to you. He was here, he was finally here with you. It all feels like a dream.
Your alarm clock marked 6 AM when you jumped from your dreams into reality. You should’ve known, everything was too good to be true.
You brought one hand to your face, trying to wipe away the tiredness of your eyes, but you found your cheeks were humid due to tears you didn’t even know you shed through the night, damping your pillow sheets once again.
It was always the same dream: Calum coming back to you. Night after night your mind drifted to another reality where you’d meet again, sometimes it was at a concert, other at the local café of your neighborhood that you used to love so much, but tonight was the first night where he appeared at your house. Which was funny considering that he hasn’t stepped foot in this place for almost a year.
You pushed your thoughts away as you tried to go back to sleep. And you did try, but the tossing and turning made you restless, you cursed your mind as the only thing you could see when you closed your eyes was Calum, standing at your door and asking for a kind of forgiveness you weren’t sure you could give. Although, who were you kidding?
Checking the clock once again you realized it was 20 past 6, still too early to go back to real life, but not too early to start and try to live a little.
Pushing yourself off the bed, you grabbed a big hoodie and some pair of sweatpants before putting on your running shoes and hopping into the bathroom to brush your teeth and clean your face before grabbing your keys and getting out of the house.
You sat on the driver’s seat, just like you did a thousand times, taking a big breath before starting the engine.
“You do know you have a perfectly good car in your driveway, right?”
You smiled at him and greeted him with a hug and a kiss as you climbed into the passenger's seat.
It was your usual morning routine. Ever since you met and he found out you lived nearby the studio he always volunteered to carpool with you. Since then, your mornings were filled with hugs, good coffee and stolen kisses you gave each other as the road to the studio became longer and longer thanks to all the detours you took.
“Hello, Calum. I’m very good, thank you for asking, how are you?”
Calum rolled his eyes and gave you a little peck on your lips “I would’ve been on time if I hadn’t had to pick your ass from the other side of town”
You lightly punched him in the arm “You know you love me” He smiled.
“That I do, darling. But I would love you more if you drove us from time to time”
“You know I don’t have a car!” Calum turned to you and pointed to the classic mustang sitting in front of your house, raising his eyebrows as if to ask if you were stupid “That’s my dad’s car!”
“That he kindly gave to you when he helped you move to LA so you could pursue your dream of becoming the next new sensation of music,” He said mocking a dreamy voice to try imitating you “He said it was yours, so it's yours! And honestly, it’s a pretty cool car if you ask me. A real chick magnet”
You mocked a gag at his old reference of movies from the 50’s “Sexist much?” You both laughed as he started the car and started driving “Anyways, he only gave me the car because mom was threatening to sell it on eBay if he didn’t get rid of it soon enough, so he could still come and get it whenever he wants to” You shrugged.
Calum started sniffing the air, “What?” You asked, sniffing as well in case there was something wrong.
“Do you smell that?” He asked with a concerned face.
“Smell what?”
He leaned closer to you and sniffed harder before whispering “The bullshit”
You scoffed and pushed him back “Haha very funny”
You waited until he stopped laughing, you never told him the truth, well two truths actually.
One: That you enjoyed the drives you had with him, it was a special time for the two of you to be yourselves without anyone to judge. You would laugh, sing, talk for hours as you sat in traffic under the city lights. It was the little moments that matter for the two of you, these were your little moments and you didn’t want to give them up just yet.
It was not easy being in a “relationship” that no one knew about, not even his bandmates, although you knew they were suspecting something. All the sneaking away while amid a recording session, hanging out in each other’s rooms, how adamant he was to carpool with you every day, even when he didn’t need to go to the studio… It was an easy tell, but it was also your private life.
You told yourself that it was for the best, that you shouldn’t mix work and personal life, especially when your personal life included Calum. He was adamant to keep whatever you had out of the public eye “What we have is good” He said, “Why ruin it with labels?” And you agreed, knowing that making everything official could just mess everything up. Calum was your best friend, after all, you would be damn if you lose him.
And for the second truth:
“I don’t know how to drive”
Just in time, the traffic light turned red. Calum turned to you in disbelief “Bluff” You shook your head, not looking at him just yet “Bluff! That can’t be right! Y/N how old are you?”
You shrugged again “I never needed to! I always enjoyed walking plus,” You said nudging your arm on Calum’s “I have the best driver right here!” You pecked his cheek with a kiss and saw how quickly they blushed, making you celebrate this tiny victory inside your head. You loved making him blush, it gave you some kind of security that he felt the same way.
Calum stared at you for a moment too long, making you self-conscious under his eyes. You could tell the gears were running inside his head “What if I teach you how to drive?”
You chuckled “Now I call your bluff”
“I’m serious!” He said, not taking his eyes from you “We have time before the tour starts, and that way you could drive us somewhere for once! You know? Picking me out and going on a date?”
Your eyes were set on him with an alarming tone, a what now? Was he serious? “You would do that for me?” You asked shyly, not wanting to fall into another of his pranks, but he seemed serious enough.
“Of course!” He said with a chuckle that accentuated all his dimples “Let’s get you your driver’s license, Y/N!”
Calum grabbed your hand and intertwined it with his, shaking it as a victory celebration and then placing a kiss on your knuckles. You laughed and reminded him where you were “Eyes on the road, Hood” even though the light was still red, you would rather him not noticing the red that tinted your cheeks and the loud beating of your heart.
You saw how the sun was starting to illuminate the coast as you drove by. Everything was so quiet this early in the morning and you were thankful, you needed this quiet so you could be alone with your thoughts once again. And, just like every day, that just meant you were thinking of Calum.
Could you blame him? Possibly, your friends said you should. But could you live with yourself knowing that you are holding a grudge towards someone who is probably unaware of it? Not in the slightest.
You were never official, not to the public at least, but in your heart, you knew he was the only one who could make you feel like this. He was the only one capable of making you laugh as hard as you did, cry the way that you did, and enjoy yourself to the fullest. You were your best when you were with him and now… How are you now?
Would he care?
You knew he loved you, he said so himself. The only thing you didn’t know was in what way. Did he love you like a lover? or just like a friend who he’d get to kiss and make love to from time to time?
The lump in your throat became stronger as you remember the last moments you had with him and all the promises he couldn’t keep. You tried to distract yourself, crying behind the wheel could be dangerous and you weren’t going to risk your life for him, not yet at least.
You turned on the radio in hopes that it would call your mind, at this point even the commercials would make you feel better if they made you think about anything but him.
“And now, Laurie. We have the hottest single of the year!” Said the radio host with the most cheerful tone a person could mutter this early “This up-and-coming artist debuted this single almost a month ago and it is still top of the charts in almost 34 countries all over the world!”
Now the lump in your throat came back but this time with a knot on your stomach as well. The first time you heard the song play on the radio you felt excited, after all this is why you came to LA in the first place. Yet the feeling became bittersweet in no time.
“My girls, boys, and non-binary folks; if you are in your car right now get ready to sing this at the top of your lungs with all the feelings you could muster and send a fuck you to your ex. This is ‘Driver’s License’ by Y/N L/N”
“I got my driver’s license last week, just like we always -”
You turned off the music and kept driving in silence.
You knew it was a bad idea to release the song you wrote about him. Maybe it was a petty move on your part, but… didn’t you have the right to be petty this time?
Either way is not like people would realize it was about him. It was your little secret, yours and Calum’s if he ever heard it, although you believe that if he did then he would’ve said something to you by now. Yet his silence was similar to the one in your car; deafening and heartbreaking.
“I don’t know Calum,” You said as you stared at your car parked in front of you “Is it safe to do it here?”
Calum was leaning on top of the hood, rolling his eyes at your indecision “Would you rather do it on the PCA?” You shot your eyes at him with a deathly glare, he just chuckled “I promise is okay, this parking lot is big enough and there are no cars left that you could accidentally hit”
You were both standing in the middle of the studio’s parking lot late at night. Calum insisted that this was the day you learned how to drive, so he spent the night at your place and today he drove you in your car, that way there would be no excuses left for you not to do it.
However, you were still hesitant. This was technically your father’s car, his other baby, and if you ever crash it you wouldn't know what you’ll do. Calum noticed your doubt and took a step closer to you, grabbing your hand in his to give you some sort of encouragement.
“Look, babe. It’s okay if you don’t want to do it. I won’t pressure you” He said softly “I just thought this could be fun for the both of us” He smiled “Fun and educational for that matter. But if you’re not ready then we can go home and-”
“I want to do it, Cal,” You said, “I just- I don’t know where to even begin!”
He chuckled and placed a kiss on your forehead, making all the butterflies in your stomach take flight.
“Tell you what,” Calum said confidently “You get behind the wheel and I’ll put us some inspirational music”
He walked back to the car to connect his phone to the speakers “You better put my song first!” You called after him as you walked towards the driver’s seat.
Calum laughed “God, I should’ve never told you that! Now your ego’s off the damn roof!” Soon enough he sat on the passenger’s seat next to you and buckled up.
“Not my fault that you think of me so often you want to put it into song” You teased, leaning in for a kiss that Calum was happy to oblige.
“Yes,” He said mid-kiss “It is completly your fault” Next thing you know ‘Kill My Time’ was playing on the radio, but Calum was not letting go of you just yet.
You wished this moment last forever, you wished every moment with Calum would last forever, but you both needed to breathe at some point “I wish I could kiss you all day long, I swear I could die on your lips and die happy” You said as you pressed your forehead to his, smiling like a fool in love.
“Soon, love,” Calum said as he crashed his lips against yours “Just wait until tour is over and then we’ll have forever to do just that”
You grinned at his words, a few days ago he promised to make your relationship publicly official once he came back from tour, that way you’ll have more time together as a fairly new couple. If he was willing to take that step, then you were more than ready to follow along. You knew you’d give everything for him if you had to and you still won’t regret it. You love him, and that was enough for you.
“Think I’m ready to start,” You said once you pulled away from him for the last time.
Calum nodded and patted his hand on your thigh “Okay, first you have to turn on the engine. Good, then you check all your mirrors and make sure your gear shift is on position-”
“My what?” You asked.
“Your gear shift, you know? The stick in-”
“Oh, you mean the PRNDL? You said, trying your hardest to stay serious, but failing to do so once you saw Calum’s face.
“You couldn't go one day without your references now, could you?” He said in amusing disbelief that had you both laughing.
The lesson was fairly simple, it just consisted of going forwards and on reverse a few times and practicing some turns in circles around the parking lot, and you were proud to say you were getting the hang of it pretty quickly. Calum turned out to be a great instructor with the patience of a god, he never got mad at you or showed that he was scared - even though it was pretty clear that he was, especially when you turned too far and almost hit a lamp post - and you appreciate him for that.
It was almost 2 AM when you decided to call it quits for the day and start back tomorrow. Calum was now behind the wheel driving you to your house so he could pick up his car and drive home.
“Cal?” You said once he parked in your driveway.
“Yes, love?”
“I’m really happy with you” You shyly admitted.
Calum’s heart beamed with love as he pulled you closer for a goodnight kiss “And I’m really happy with you”
You kissed him one more time before jumping out of the car “See you tomorrow!” He called before you watched him drive away.
The sound of a horn woke you up from your daydream memory. You didn’t know the light had just turned green until the car behind you started pounding their button and cursing at you to move.
You watched the white car from the rearview mirror as you drove away, it looked like his, all the white cars did, but you knew he couldn’t be here just yet, not until the tour was done.
A sinking feeling of hopelessness filled your inner thoughts once again. The promises he made faded like the wind in the summer once he stepped on that plane and decided that you were something he had to leave behind. It would’ve been good to know beforehand, that way you wouldn’t have wasted a year by the phone, hoping it would ring and that he’d be on the other line.
You glanced at the car’s clock one more time, it’s already too late to do anything, you’ve been driving around without a destination for hours when it only felt like minutes. Time is something you learn how to lose when you’re alone, minutes become meaningless once you realize there is no one there to share them with you, but it’s late and it was time to head home. You let out a sigh at the realization that your drive-through therapy didn’t work this time.
Deciding to take the long way home, you started to drive through the lesser-known streets of LA, hoping that you’d get lost somewhere and not knowing if anyone would care.
The dreams of running away came flashing down, more of an idea than an afterthought. Yes, you made it in LA, you have a hit song and your dreams are coming true. Why didn’t that feel like enough?
If you were gone, even just for a little bit, would anybody notice? If you just got up in your car and started driving somewhere unknown until the feeling of loneliness faded away. Could you drive your feelings away? Outrun them somehow?
You knew that if Calum could do it then so could you. It was so easy for him to just leave whatever you had behind, to leave you behind and hope that you were okay somehow. If he thought that you were okay then he maybe didn’t know you at all and you are probably better off without him, just like your friends say all the time.
But were you better off without him?
Tears started piling up in the corner of your eyes once again. No, you were not better off without him even though you want to be. And neither you are better off with him, if he ever came back to you, that is.
You swallowed a sob, trying your hardest not to break down again. It was useless, all the tears and all the songs and all the fuck him an attitude that you could muster… What was it for if not to dwell on your pain even more? You are still hurt and he still did not care.
You took a turn on the left, knowing the way like the back of your hand. You knew this path would lead you home, but you also knew it would lead you to his house as well.
The first time you did this was to practice how to find your way to Calum’s home without getting lost. You knew he wasn’t home and he wouldn’t be for many many months, but you wanted to surprise him once he got there, to pick him up and drive him to that date he promised you once he returned. Now, you avoided that road like a plague unless you had days like this, days in which missing him became everything you did, and now passing through his empty house gave you the reality check you desperately needed: He is gone. It also inspired you to write the song, it was a blessing and a curse.
You turned into the familiar street and looked to your right, you counted the houses passing by one, two, three, four… Until you spotted his old porch. Normally, that’s all you did. You would drive through his street and see the house dark and cold as his owner was out of town. But today there was a white car on his driveway.
Your breath got caught in your throat as you recognized the license plate, immediately stepping on the breaks and making the car stopped abruptly in front of the house.
That is his car… But how? You knew that Calum kept his car in Ashton’s place so they could drive up together to the airport every time they had to leave. What is it doing here? Tour didn’t end until a week from today and-
The sudden movement coming from the house pulled you from every rational thought as the front door opened. You held your breath as the person who stole all your sleepless nights came into view.
He was home.
Calum stepped out of his house with a bright smile on his face. His hair was shorter than the last time you’ve seen it, and he was less tanned, a fact that was easily noticeable thanks to the contrast of his leather jacket on his skin. But his dimples were intact as he smiled at whoever was inside the house.
A small figure came behind him, wrapping her arms around his torso as she was laughing at something he said. Her blond hair was falling down her back so elegantly, and her smile was bright as day as she hugged him, you wouldn’t have noticed that in the photos. She looked happy, but what broke you the most is that he looked happy as well.
He was home, but he was home with her.
You knew something was going on, even if there wasn’t anything official from either of them. You weren’t official, too. But seeing them was all the proof you needed to believe it. Believe that it was actually over and neither of you said goodbye.
You bit the inside of your cheek as silent tears started rolling down your face. You wanted to scream, to cry your hearts out, and let the world fuck itself over and over again. But for the love that you had on yourself, you promised that you wouldn't dignify him by making a scene. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve to know you cared.
With that in mind, you wiped your tears and floored the gas pedal, driving away from the scene.
“Hey!!!!!”
“Guess what?”
“I PASSED THE TEST!”
“I can legally drive on my own now :D!”
Read 19:05
“Calum?”
“Oh, you must be at the concert now, my bad!”
“Let me know when we can FaceTime again! I can’t wait to tell you how it went! I’m so excited we can finally switch places and let me be the one in charge of the road, lol”
Read 23:54
“Is everything alright, Cal?”
Read 04:32
“I miss you”
Read July 19th 14:49
Last week you sent your last text to him and he still hadn’t responded yet. You tossed all night waiting for at least a smoke signal from him. He was gone for two months now and he never missed one of your calls, it was so unlike him, especially when he promised you to call every day he was on tour.
You tried to distract yourself by doing everything you could think of. You watched videos, listened to music, played candy crush over and over again, and still, there was no answer.
You were starting to give up when a notification from Twitter graced your screen, it read: “Calum Hood, bassist from the band 5 Seconds of Summer, seen cozying up with a mysterious girl in a nightclub two nights ago”
You blinked twice and reread the headline, hoping that your eyes were deceiving you.
“The Australian bassist seemed to be catching up with some friends and letting it all loose at a wild night here in London after their sold-out show in the O2 Arena.
Hood was wearing-”
You skipped all that unnecessary information, scrolling down to the bottom where you knew all media kept the real gossip. A bubble of anxiety started forming inside your throat, as your fingers moved over the screen. The atmosphere became heavy while you could hear your heart thundering inside your chest, every little beat it made was hurting you, almost like it was banging your ribcages begging to be set free.
Time stood still as you looked at the pictures, not wanting to believe your eyes as they analyzed every detail of it.
There he was, hugging a blond woman from behind and resting his face on her shoulders just like he used to do with you. Even from the picture, you could tell she was gorgeous. The next picture showed her wrapping her arms around his neck and smiling at him. He had his hands cupping her cheeks, his face denoted a serious expression, but the look in his eyes was fixed on her.
He kissed her in the third picture, his hands still cupping her cheeks. It seemed like he was smiling through the kiss.
The last picture had them sitting on some kind of leather sofa. She was sitting on his lap and his hands were wandering very close to her butt, holding her close to him.
“The fans of the band wasted no time on identifying the mysterious girl. She seems to be the new tour assistant manager of the boys. Let’s hope that work and pleasure don’t get between this beautiful couple #goals<3”
The stream of tears was never-ending. You couldn’t understand what was going on, why Calum hasn’t said anything to you, why-why did he let it happen? Something was not right, and it wasn’t just your breathing getting heavy inside your lungs or your shaky hands as you typed the next text.
“We need to talk, please call me?”
You got no answers that night as you cried yourself to sleep, realizing that you had no one to comfort you cause nobody knew that you two were even together. You were utterly alone.
The next morning you woke up to no text from him, not even a call or a voicemail.
Read 08:45
You forced yourself to finish your nighttime routine. Ever since you came back home you did nothing but cry, but not of sadness, you were crying of anger.
With him being far away it almost didn’t seem real. You allowed yourself to create some sort of fantasy where he would come back to you, to start over where you left off and be together for everyone to see. How foolish.
You thought that he’ll hear your song and he’ll be running back to you to apologize, to ask if you still love him like before. But he won’t, because he is happy without you while you rot in your own pity party.
You grabbed hold onto the counter, trying to hold the tears as everything suddenly became clear as day. All the red flags you ignored were now shining as candy apples. He made a fool of you and didn’t even dignify you with at least some kind of warning or apology. He brought you down and now it was up to you to climb back up and even higher than before.
How could he?
All the memories you held close to your heart were burning in the pyre of your soul. You loved him, you knew you did. But all you meant for him was just a summer fling, something to waste time on before the real thing came along.
But he loved you…
Did he?
He spent entire days and nights next to you. He told you stories no one’s ever heard of. He sang to you to sleep and wrote you the most beautiful poems you’ve ever read. He picked you up every day and stayed with you until it was your time to leave. He made you feel welcome and there was not a day where you didn’t feel safe around his arms. He was your best friend. He taught you how to drive and what it meant to feel something real, something as important as the love you could have for someone. He loved you, he said he did, he promised he did.
Maybe love was not enough for him.
Your mind was divided, fighting over and over and over again about the same thing. Part of you cursed his name while the other part just wanted to be held by him, telling you that it will all be okay. But you couldn't even trust yourself on this one.
The doorbell rang, one, two, three times.
You were not going to answer it. One look in the mirror and you knew you couldn't answer anyone in this state. Your eyes were puffy and red, your cheeks were hollowed from not eating all day. There was nothing you could do to make you look or feel better, so whoever was behind the door will have to find another way to disturb the chaos in your mind.
However, they were persistent. With the ring of the doorbell came a few bangs. It seemed urgent.
You took one last look at yourself before deciding with a sigh to go and open the door. Whoever it was must have a good reason to come banging at your door a little past midnight.
“I’m coming!” You called, voice coming out a little hoarse from crying all night.
A shiver ran down your back and you felt like you were here before, in this exact moment where all your instincts told you to walk away. You decided to ignore them as you gently turned the doorknob and opened the door. Immediately wishing you didn’t.
“Calum?”
He stood in front of you, soaked from head to toe. Hands in the pockets of his jacket, not the leather one, but one more cozy. He was also wearing a pair of sweatpants and part of his hair was stuck on his forehead. You didn’t realize it was raining.
“Can I come in?” He asked, not even a hello.
You debated on whether or not to let him in. Part of you wanted to throw him back into the streets, but a storm was coming - much in the literal and subliminal way, and you didn’t want him to drive in this weather, you still care for him even though you shouldn’t.
With a simple nod, you opened the door wide enough so he could enter the house, a little “thank you” came out of his mouth as he stepped inside for the first time in over a year.
You closed the door and started walking into the kitchen with Calum following you like a stray dog. Your hands were shaking so you hid them behind your back as you slowly wrapped your arms around you in an attempt to comfort you throughout this whole ordeal.
Calum is standing in front of you on the other side of the island. He is not looking at you, but rather he is looking at his feet. You figured he was too scared to be the first one to talk and it broke your heart that he has suddenly become shy around you when you used to tell each other everything. ‘But whose fault is that?’ You thought.
Now you were just two strangers in a room.
“I thought you’d still be on tour,” You said, breaking the silence that has fallen upon you.
Calum looked up and he almost looked thankful that you spoke first “The last two venues canceled at the last minute due to weather conditions,” He said “So we came back earlier than expected”
You nodded and faced the other way. The fact that he was here in your home made your stomach turn and not in a good way. You always thought him coming back was going to be something joyful, but it became more painful as time went by.
“They closed café Mariannete while I was gone” He said, was he really going to talk about that right now? Did he came over here to reminisce about the café you used to have breakfast in?
“I didn’t know. I don’t go there anymore”
More awkward silence came upon you. You both knew he was bullshiting his way into the real conversation he was avoiding to have. He always used to do that and you have forgotten how much you hated it.
“Were you driving by my house today?” He asked and you froze on the spot. You didn’t think that he saw you.
“I was,” You cleared your throat “I was coming back home”
“And you didn’t say hello” It was more a statement than a question.
A sour taste filled your mouth. How dare he? “You were busy enough” You knew it was a petty answer, but what did he expect?
A flash of hurt came through Calum’s eyes as he said nothing in return. He knew you saw him with her, so he had no excuse to push the topic back to you.
The atmosphere was tense as the only thing you could hear was the ticking of the clock and the raindrops falling through your window. There was so much to say and yet none of you were brave enough to muster them.
You had every right to be mad and he had a right to explain himself, but you were not going to be the first one to cave in. Not without hearing from him first.
Eventually, Calum got restless of the silence.
“Your song is amazing,” He said, pleading for an answer that didn’t contain poison in your words “Ashton showed it to us the day it came out”
So he has heard it, you didn’t know if you should be proud or ashamed “Thanks”
“I forgot to congratulate you on your number one”
“You forgot to do a lot of things”
If there was ever a moment where you could give him the chance to redeem himself, this was it.
You saw how Calum shifted his weight from foot to foot, he had his lips pressed in a thin line and you could see how his eyes changed and fell into a deep pit of regret as tears were forming in the corner of his eye.
“I know the song’s about me-” He said.
“How did you figure that out?” You said sarcastically.
“Y/N…” He pleaded, running a hand through his face, but you were having none of that.
“Why did you do it, Calum?”
You needed an answer, something you could hold onto to eventually let go. Calum, however, was almost speechless.
The ticking of the clock became even louder as you counted the seconds until he spoke again. One, two, three…
Ten “I don’t know”
The answer cut right through you as you let a stream of tears roll down your cheek, not lifting your head to look at him in the eyes. It wasn’t what you expected, it was way worse.
Calum noticed your crying and started panicking, spilling every thought he had through his mouth “I-I don’t- I was drunk and she was there with our groups of friends and we were too drunk to even take notice of what was happening and we just kissed and- Y/N, I’m not perfect. We weren’t perfect, we weren’t even official and it was only a kiss and I thought it would be okay but then the tabloids and your message and I just- And she’s a great friend, she didn’t mean any harm but things happened and-” He stammered, unable to connect his thoughts as he desperately tried to fix something so you would stop crying.
“For me it was perfect” You cried “We were perfect in my mind, you made it perfect. God, Calum. Why didn’t you tell me? I spent months in agony trying to figure it out, to make it make sense! I beat myself up over and over again and there you were having the time of your life with a stranger!” Your voice was loud, not enough to yell, but enough to make it clear that you were fuming.
“What are you talking about?!” Calum said matching the tone of your voice “I missed you every fucking day but there was nothing I could do about it! You don’t know shit of what you’re talking about!”
You scoffed “Oh yeah! It surely seemed like you missed me! You never called me once, Calum. Not even to apologize and try to make it better”
“I didn’t know how!” He said, “I was scared that-”
“That I’d hate you?”
“That you’d forgive me,” Calum said in one breath, making you stare in shock “I-I didn’t want you to forgive me, Y/N, cause you deserve so much better. On tour I realized that I wasn’t ready for a relationship, no matter how much you mean to me and I didn’t know how to tell you that so-”
“And are you ready now? That’s why you are with her?” You interrupted, head filled with anger to even think straight.
“I’m not ready to be with either of you!”
The room felt silent once again.
You had no answer to that and you weren’t sure you wanted to hear more from him.
The rain outside your window started to calm down, only droplets of water were left as the memory of the storm that almost was.
Your legs gave out a minute later, sliding you down slowly onto the floor. Calum walked up to you and sat next to you, neither of you saying anything for what it seemed like hours.
“You said you loved me…” You said with a faint voice.
Calum sighed “I did. I do”
“And you love her too?”
He thought about it “I don’t know. I might” You closed your eyes as a tear fell down your cheek “She’s good to me, Y/N. And we really got close but-”
“I know,” You said with a soft sniffle “We weren’t perfect either”
“You do know I love you, right?” He said softly, turning his face towards you “And that everything we had was real. Every minute of it, every word in every song was true and it still is. All was real and it’s still there somewhere. I still want you in my life, Y/N, cause you make it better. I just,” He sighed “I need to figure my shit out”
“Yeah, you do” You said, making him chuckle darkly “But I can’t promise I’ll be here”
“I wouldn’t ask you to”
You sat there in silence for a few more moments, just enjoying each other's company before everything fades away.
“I love you, too” You said in a whisper, hoping that he won’t hear “I still fucking love you”
Calum sighed “I know”
“Guess that you didn’t mean what you wrote on that song about me
‘Cause you said forever now I drive alone past your street”
.
Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @sarcasticallywitty15 @hoodhoran @flaneurcth h @notinthesameguey @myloverboyash @yeah-and69 @fckingpernico
* if your url is crossed please reach out to me so we can fix it
#calum hood#5 seconds of summer#5sos#calum hood imagine#calum hood fic#calum hood fanfiction#calum hood angst#suchalonelysunflower#calum fic#calum 5 seconds of summer#calum 5sos#song fic#drivers license#calum hood 5SOS#calum hood x reader#calum hood 5 seconds of summer#calum angst#calum thomas hood#olivia rodrigo#you said forever#fanfic#angst#calum imagine#calum fanfic#calum fanfiction#request
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Could you please write one of those Tiktok "I tried to kiss my bestfriend / crush" challenge for either Charlie or Owen. Thanks!
Crushtok - Owen Patrick Joyner
A/N: Yes ofc I can! I never wrote for Owen so let me know what you think! I hope you like it :)
Words: 1.9k
Warnings: tiktok and noise (so none really)
Requests are open!
MASTERLIST
--------‐--------------
The sun poked through curtains and you swore that you had heard birds the day before but it was loud, uncomfortably so. All you heard was the clacking of metal and the rattling of the machinery that the construction in front of Owens Appartement made. All the unpleasant noises woke you up in the early morning. Grumbling, you tried to block out the noise with a pillow pressed against your face.
"That's not gonna work sleepy beauty" a lower voice croaked, catching you completely off guard so you let out a quiet shriek. "Oweenn why do you have to scare me badly in the morning?" You whined and took the pillow away from your face.
He sat on the other side of the couch, just underneath your feet and looked absolutely tired. His blonde hair was standing up in every possible direction, his normally piercing blue eyes trying their best to stay open. By the way, he was looking at you with a little smirk on his lips, you figured that you didn't look any better.
"Because it's 6 am on a Saturday morning and I didn't want to suffer alone. So lucky you for visiting me this week!" Owen exclaimed and hit your leg in a joking manner.
"I've got thrown out by my landlord. I'm not here on my own terms..." this earned you a shocked gasp from the boy sitting in front of you. "And there I was, thinking this friendship meant something to you." You just rolled your eyes with a smirk.
"Do you want to come back to my bedroom? With some music playing it's much quieter than out here." Nodding tiredly, he held out a hand to help you stand up; you only noticed when you nuzzled into his bed that he didn't let go of your hand.
You woke up a couple of hours later, quiet pop music filled the darkroom and it was hot, your bare legs sticking to the duvet covers. You turned around and faced a back with broad shoulders that were just moments ago pressed against your back. Groaning, you stuck your legs out of the bed, the cold air cooling you down immediately. Owen stirred next to you and sat up slowly.
"Morning part 2." you chuckled and automatically pushed some of his hair out of his face.
"Mornin" he mumbled back.
"You were right it's much quieter in your room."
You stood up, stretching your limbs, before heading back into the living room where all your stuff was stored, quite impractically but it was stored.
You heard a shower running, that gave you the perfect time to change from your big shirt and little pants sleep attire to a more comfortable day outfit. After rummaging through your boxes, that you packed in a freezy, you choose some brown cotton pants with a white body and to top it off your favourite purple cardigan that Owen gifted you one Christmas. With some extra time, you put on your glasses and started to search for a new place to stay.
"So what do you wanna do today? I have nothing going on so..." you stopped listening as Owen walked into the living room shirtless. He wore some blue sweatpants that hung quite low on his hips, his chest still sparkling from the water.
You would have probably started to drool if he wouldn't have worn his hair in a towel bun.
You let out a laugh that made him stop in his tracks.
"What?" he stared at you intensely.
"Oh, nothing princess... nothing. We uh... could look at some apartments for me and just go for a drive?"
"Am I that bad of a roommate?" he said and plopped down next to you on the couch his arm resting on the top comfortably.
"No but I would really appreciate a place to store my stuff properly." you continued to scroll through places to stay.
"This one looks good." he pointed out and put his finger on the screen, you hadn't realised that he rested his arm just above your shoulders so it took you off guard when you suddenly felt his arm on your neck.
"Mhmm, but you cant look at it today... This one though has a viewing in the late afternoon."
"Then that's our plan for today."
++
"Y/N! Y/N!" Owen screamed loudly from the kitchen "Come here real quick."
With your phone still in one hand, you waddled over to your best friend. "What's the emergency?" you looked up at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Do this TikTok with me." he pleaded and looked at you with a slight pout, shoving his phone in your face. Your eyes scanned the screen and then you scoffed, "First of all since when are you on lesbian TikTok? And secondly, that's a bit... explicit... don't you think?"
"W- Our lips don't have to touch! I don't have anybody else to do it with! Y/N Come On!" he yelled after your figure who left the kitchen with a shaking head and hot cheeks.
Your thought didn't stop racing for the rest of the day. Did Owen want to kiss you? Or was he just so comfortable with your friendship that he really didn't care? You hated that you were a cliche, falling in love with your childhood best friend. Growing up you were always the one rolling your eyes at your parents who thought that you and Owen would make just such a cute couple but here you were, sitting on his couch, your heart beating in your chest and extremely conscious of his presence.
Little did you know that Owen felt the exact same. Over the years and especially puberty, he started to develop feelings for you. At first, he tried to deny them, telling himself that it's just that he's used to you being around but then he left to pursue his acting career and he missed you more than everything in the world. Not a single day went by when he didn't think of you or tried to call you. Ever since then, he tried to be close to you in one way or the other, he didn't care if it was just his leg touching yours or your body heat warming him up.
Due to the fact that you were both anxious people, neither of you ever made a move. He missed your longing stares and you missed the way he was checking you out every time he looked at you.
His friends finally talked some confidence into him and so he took little steps into what should eventually lead to him confessing his love for you. He started to flirt more with you, give you loads of compliments and asked you if you wanted to do some TikTok or lives with him.
Tapping on your shoulder made you look up from your phone, the TikTok you've been watching looping on your screen. Owen stood next to you, his phone pointed to you, a mischievous smirk prominent on his face and whipped cream can in his other hand.
"No." you tried to be serious but a chuckle escaped your lips. Owen turned the camera to him and sprayed some cream into his mouth then stared at you with squinted eyes, the whipped cream flowing out of his mouth.
You stared at him for a couple of seconds, your brain in overdrive, hands sweaty and heart beating rapidly. An idea washed over you and you tilted your head before leaning in close. Owen's eyes went wide and he nearly choked on the cream. But you weren't gonna kiss him seconds before your lips would have met, you halted. Then you slowly took the can of whipped cream out of his hand and sprayed it all over his head.
"You didn't!" he gasped with a full mouth while you laid on the floor, holding your stomach in laughter. Something wet hit your face that stopped you from laughing further. Owen had a massive grin on his face, one hand dripping slightly and his hair, less creamy.
"Be cautious Joyner" you warned standing up on your tiptoes to be as close to him as possible, your pointer finger pressing into his chest "I know where your bed sleeps."
You tried to back out of the situation, knowing damn well that it can easily get out of hand with you two and a whipped cream match would make a lot of mess. But Owen being the child he is, didn't back out, instead, he ripped the can out of your hand and sprayed it down your back.
The war ended peacefully. The cans of whipped cream, yes you found more cans, laying somewhere in the living room both of you covered from head to toe, breathing heavily. Owen held his hands up in surrender and looked up to your position on the coffee table.
"Ha! I win! Told you I didn't want to do the TikTok." you smiled triumphantly. "I say loser cleans this up." before Owen could protest you sprinted to the shower. Lucky for you he actually started to clean up when you walked out of the bathroom, dressed in comfortable sweats and one of Owens hoodie, your damp hair falling over your shoulders.
"Hey Y/N?" Owen asked somehow nervously. "Yes darling?" you answered with a bad British accent.
"Can you come here for a second?"
"Owen I'm not doing that TikTok with you, you just saw how that ended," you argued but made your way over to him. He stood in the middle of the room, his phone propped up on a shelf.
"You have something on your face." you chuckled and whipped away some dried leftovers from your previous war.
"Can you react to this song? I don't remember where I know it from" he asked, his voice shaking slightly. You furrowed your eyebrows at his odd behaviour just moments ago he was normal and now he acted very strangely.
"Sure." he pulled you in front of him, his hands resting on your shoulders.
'Baby, you're like lightning in a bottle
I can't let you go now that I got it'
“Sounds like BORNS…” you whispered more to yourself than to him and continued to listen to the song “Are you sure you just haven't…” you turned around to face him.
Owen took this as his opportunity to cup your face with both of his hands, softly pressing his lips to yours.
Your breath hitched and it took you a second to realise what was happening. The confidence Owen had just moments ago vanished when you didn't kiss him back immediately. Why should you? You never gave a hint that you liked him like that as well.
Just as he was about to pull away and apologize profusely, you overcame your state of shock. Your arms grabbed his hips to pull him closer, deepening the kiss. You felt him smile against your lips. Your stomach erupted with butterflies, your whole body tingled and your cheeks felt hot.
He was the first one to pull away, resting his forehead on yours. Both breathing heavily, the filming camera was completely forgotten, you looked in each other's eyes.
“I wanted to do that for so long,” you admitted and unconsciously bit your lip. Owen gulped heavily, “Me too but, what the hell! I mean how crazy is that?!”
#jatp fanfic#alex mercer#jatp x reader#owen joyner imagine#owen joyner fanfiction#owen joyner#owen joyner x reader#owen patrick joyner gif#owen patrick joyner#owen joyner x y/n#owen joyner fluff#owen joyner fic#owen patrick joyner x reader#owen patrick joyner fluff#owen patrick joyner imagine#julie and the phantoms
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Hi, are you still taking AU requests, and if so: can I get a 77 & a 94 with Agent Whiskey?
I am ALWAYS down to take more of the AU/Tropes! In fact, I should really reblog that post again because I'm in a bit of a writing stump...
Also, this gives me a chance to really test out my Agent Whiskey writing skills, and I wrote this as a little intro into the world I have planned out for a Whiskey fic
77. In Vino Veritas (I am ashamed that I had to google this...)
94. Hair Brushing/Braiding
Send me an AU or 2??
October. It was already October, and you were only a few weeks shy of having been with the Statesmen for an entire year. It seemed like yesterday that you were recruited. You could still see the glinting eyes of Champ as he asked you to join his rank of agents. You'd thought he was mad at first, playing along just for curiosities' sake, but one thing lead to another, and for all the coincidences out there you joined the Statesmen and started working on October 31st, Halloween day. Which was a bit laughable if you considered your line of work heavily involving human direction, being a forensic pathologist and all.
A year... you still couldn't really wrap your head around it. But then again, you were still getting used to this job, after all it seemed like the places was was made to keep you on your toes at all times.
"Cherry, darling, you have got to stop staring at you computer like that. Gonna strain those pretty eyes of yours if you keep that up," speaking of keeping you on your toes, you jumped slightly and your eyes jumped from you computer's digital calendar up to meet those of your favorite, and least favorite, fellow agent.
"Whiskey," you sighed out, "Please tell me your here for something more than just to pester me. I do have work to do."
Whiskey only grinned, and pulled out the chair in front of your little desk before sitting down and leaning back into the chair.
"Now, I would never do something like that to you, darling! I just wanted to come check in on you, make sure you're not stressing yourself over your work."
You sigh harder, and run your fingers over your temples, before looking up giving the man across from you, whose eyes were sparkling with playfullness but sincerity, and you couldn't help but shoot a small smile back at him. "I am fine Agent Whiskey, and I appreciate the concern, but I do have quite a bit to do."
"Oh come on, its almost lunch, let me take you somewhere to get something, on me."
He was smirking now, and you were just shaking your head softly. "No, thank you for the offer, but I did pack a lunch, and I plan to eat right here so I can get through the paperwork that has been piling up."
"Please darling?"
You only shook your head again, and sent him a look of, "this is not a fight you're gonna win", and Whiskey sighed before slapping both legs with his hands and standing up, "Well, I guess I won't argue with you this time, but the offer stands whenever you want to take it."
And with that he left you alone in you office as you sigh and relax back into your chair, a soft pang of regret echoing through your chest before you turned back to you computer, this time to actually get work done.
---
He stayed away from your office for a few days. Something that surprised you a bit considering how much he loved to show up and distract you while he wasn't away on a mission. You didn't hate Whiskey, not at all. In fact, you found yourself constantly fighting a loosing battle with how much you were falling for his charms and teasing. He was a good man, and you new that, but it didn't change the fact that he was a serial flirt, and he probably only came to you for how you flustered and reacted to his advances.
When he walked into your office this time, all swagger and shiny white teeth, you had been gathering your things to head down to your lab, nearly running into his chest as you opened your office door.
"Now, Cherry, had I known you were so eager to jump into my arms, I might have come by sooner."
As always, you sighed and felt hear creep onto your face, before taking a step back and clearing your throat, "Agent Whiskey, please, I have to get to my lab, I have work to do."
He just stood there, smirk plastered on his face, before he held his arm out, and said, "Well then, let me have the honor of escorting the pretty lady?"
You just rolled your eyes and shouldered past him. "Agen-"
"Darling, we both know you can just call me Whiskey, you don't have to be all proper with the agent each time."
Shaking your head you started walking down the hall, listening as his booted footsteps followed after you with a slump of your shoulders. "Agent Whiskey, don't you have work you need to be doing, instead of following me down hallways?"
He only chuckled in response, stopping next to you as you stopped in front of your lab's entrance. "Ok ok, i know when I'm unwanted, I just wanted to make sure you knew about the yearly Halloween party, and make sure you're going this year."
You knew about the party. It was one of the few things the Statesmen did together as a way to let loose and hang out with their friends and fellow agents. You'd been invited to come the year before, but considering you went even officially apart of the organization yet, and you knew no one but Champ, you had not gone to the party. And in all honestly, you were planning on doing the same this year. You still felt to new to really enjoy partying with people you barely knew, having only a few people you did actually converse with, and you meant to tell exactly that to Whiskey, but the second you made eye contact you were a goner. He was looking at you with some sense of eager hope, one that made you ache with guilt for even think about telling the man no. Damn those puppy eyes.
"I....I guess I hadn't really thought about it until now. I guess I could show up for a little while."
The grin that spread across Whiskey's face, highlighting his singular dimple in one cheek had you fluttering under his apparent happiness. "Wonderful! I cant wait to see you there, darling. Find me and ill buy you a few rounds of drinks!"
Still grinning he took a step back, before grinning out, "and don't forget to dress up, it is a Halloween party after all."
And with a wink, he turned and left you cursing your inability to withstand his charms as you shakily pulled yourself into your lab.
---
You shouldn't have agreed to this. You felt silly, and standing outside the party venue you found yourself repeatedly pulling on stupid black gloves that went with your "mad scientist" costume. This is ridiculous, you should just turn and leave and just sit on your couch and watch Stephen King movies all night as you eat far to many fun size candies.
But you were already here, you were already wearing this joke of a costume with black smudges painted across your face as proof of a failed experiment, so you just sighed and yanked on the labcoat dress before taking a deep breath and walking into the party.
Your arrival wasn't late, but you certainly weren't early either. The party had already been in the swing of things for a little while as Purple People Eater rang out across the venue. It was obvious that a few of your fellow agents had already been going after the drinks as they partied, and you couldn't help but cringe a bit at the sight of so many people moving about.
You were debating over staying or leaving again when you heard a loud, but very familiar laugh echo from your right. Turning your head, you had to bite your lip to stop from laughing as you seen Whiskey saddle up beside you. You thought he'd been the living embodiment of a cowboy before, but now, there was no doubt about it. Whiskey had really played into the stereotype, doning a pair of chaps with fringe along the sides, a lasso loosely wrapped around the shoulder of his pearl snap button down shirt, a vest matching his chaps fringe and all, and of course his stetson and his usual cowboy boots now paired with spurs for good measure.
"You, darling, really look every part of a beautiful mad scientist, and id love to be put on the mission to take you down," he finished with a wink, and this time you could help the small giggle that escaped you.
"Please, I didn't think you could look anymore like a cowboy, yet here you are looking like you step out of an old western! Where have you parked the horse? Out back?"
Whiskey chuckled, smirk spreading as you teased him, and his eyes lighting up as he leaded down and whispered, "No horse, but you know what they say, save a horse, ride a cowboy."
Rolling your eyes, you scoffed, looking around the room before you turned back to Whiskey and saying, "I remember you promising me some drinks?"
Grinning, Whiskey motioned for you to walk first as he followed behind to the closest bar. If you were being honest with yourself, you could feel your hands shaking with nerves. You'd never really teased Whiskey back like that before, and while you had enjoyed it, and could tell he had liked it as well, you couldn't shake the nerves that seemed to be following you, the nerves that always followed you when Whiskey was near.
You downed the first drink Whiskey had gotten you, even as he chuckled in surprise before ordering you a second as he only sipped on his own iced whiskey in his hand. The two of you talked, well Whiskey mainly talked, telling stories about past missions and what heroing things he's done, though some seemed a little far fetched to believe no matter how much he insisted upon them. You laughed, and teased him a few times, and as time ticked on and you finished more and more drinks, you found yourself enjoying the party and happy that you actually came.
Then, as you started swaying a bit back and forth from the amount of alcohol you had consumed, Whiskey leaned forward and said, "I think its time I get you home. I think you've have enough fun for one night, darling."
You wanted to put up a fight, you were having fun and going home meant that your time with Whiskey would end, that all this false confidence you had gotten from your liquid courage would fade and you'd be back to just flustering at his teasing words as he followed you down the halls or sat in your small office, and you didn't want that.....you were having fun...you were having fun with the man you liked... a lot...."
Looking up, Whiskey was staring at you, deep pools of brown swirling as he took in your face, which only confused you, was there something on your face? But then Whiskey smiled softly at you, and said, "Come on, I'll drive you home," and you could only melt at his soft words and expression as he guided you out of the party and towards his vehicle.
The second you were seated, you felt your eyes dropping, the weight of the day paired with the alcohol finally making you sleepy, making you slur your words as Whiskey asked for you address, but you eventually got it out as you leaned against his side.
You fell asleep on the trip to your home, only waking as Whiskey nudged you and helped you walked to your home. He even took your keys, opening the home for you as you stumbled inside, not even bothering with changing clothes as you walked to your bedroom and collapsed onto your bed.
"I know you're tired, darling, but you need to shange into something more comfortable, or at least get these boots off, Cherry."
You just whined and rolled onto your back, lifting your leg trying fruitlessly to yank the boot off, before you heard Whiskey chuckle and walk over to help. Gently, you unzipped and pulled off your boots one at a time, making sure to lay your legs back onto your bed softly. He stood there for a few seconds looking over you, before asking, "Anything else you need?"
It took you a few minutes, but in your intoxicated state, all you could think about was how ratty your hair must look, and how you didn't want to deal with it in the morning, so with puppy eyes and a slight piut on your lip, you asked, "Brush my hair for me?"
Whiskey startled, not expecting that to be your answer, but he smiled and nodded, "Of course."
Gently, he sat you up on the bed, before sitting behind you with the brush in hand. "Tell me if I brush to harshly, ok darling?"
You just nod, and sigh when you feel the first knots coming free from your hair. Whiskey was so gentle when brushing your hair, treating you like you'd break if he applied too much force, and after each brush stroke, he let his fingers slide through the untangled locks of hair, occasionally brushing against skin and making you shiver. By the time hed finished, you'd fallen asleep from the soothing movements.
---
The next morning you woke up to a glass of water and some aspirin on your bedside table with a note from Whiskey that just said, thanks for coming last night and little drawing of a cherry, and no memory past Whiskey mentioning something about an electronic bull from hell the rest of the night and getting home a blur with only a soft voice and white teeth.
While when Whiskey woke, all he could think about was your words you had not meant to say aloud,, right before you both left the party, "you were having fun with the man you liked... a lot...."
Permanent Tags: @mysticalgalaxysalad @phoenixhalliwell @moodsare @perpetual-fangirl900 @night-snows00 @dumbass-simp-for-fredweasley @stargazingthenightaway @meabravo @just-here-for-the-moment @masteracewindu
Pedro Boys: @blackmarketmummy @djarin-junk @littlemisspascal
Also tagging @writeforfandoms because I thought you might like this.....
Join the Taglist
#au tropes asks#in vino veritas au#hair brushing/braiding au#agent whiskey x reader#jack daniels x reader#let me know what you think of how I wrote whiskey ....please??#is it 2.30am? yes#should i be asleep or studying? yes#but whiskey seemed more important 🤷♀️😌
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Victor’s - Moody Date
Hello! This is my entry for @little-butterfly-writes ‘s Contest . It’s my first time writing and I really enjoyed the process of it, enjoy reading this date!
Fandom: MLQC - Victor Li x Duckie (Mc)
Genre : jealousy jealousy jealousy , comfort , Filled with romance ( fluff)
Word count : 3,309
As If its not obvious enough to everybody.
I have feelings towards my boss, victor Li. I did fall in love with a person that I know i can’t reach even if i had him in my wildest dreams. I all i am wishing for is that no one know about these hidden feelings hoping that i will be able to maintain the decision i took and forget about him, But unfortunately things goes unplanned after I experienced certain feeling. jealousy .
If Kiki , Anna , the rest of my friends and colleagues found out about my secret feelings including the letters I wrote about victor secretly , I would get in big trouble , what letters you may ask? It’s simple. Basically, when i feel like I can’t control the love i feel towards him . I write down all my feelings in a letter and hide it somewhere , i got this idea from a movie i watched last year. At first , I haven’t thought not in a million years that I would use this idea and especially writing my unwanted feelings towards my CEO ,Aka victor li .
He was very strict and seemed to be very rude, i used to hate on him . He isn’t my type in men plus we’re completely different. Its not a big surprise since he is the CEO of an worldwide successful company ,LFG.
Just to clarify our differences. He made his company from the beginning meanwhile me, A young lady who inherited a show from her father once she Graduated from college. I didn’t even have an experience in life or the business field.
Everything were so difficult to me and it felt like an endless maze , the fact that I have him as my investor was like a miracle . Not only that but he really take good care of me . He is older in age , with a mature mindset . I am just young reckless, hesitant and inexperienced girl who just got a big position and so naive comparing to what she is responsible for .
I thought alot about giving up but victor make me change my mind and Instead of giving up he gave me the motivation to challenge him , i was in the mood to show him and prove to him that i can take the harsh responsibilities like an adult And be someone who is trust worthy enough to have his five hundred million investment in my show .
With time, i fall in love with him. And with everyday goes by it only grows bigger and bigger than the day before. The more i try to hide my feelings. The more it becomes obvious . When he confessed his feelings to me that day in the rooftop. I was beyond happy. I couldn’t sleep that day. But I quickly get back to the harsh reality, and remembered the huge gap between us, Victor deserve someone near to his position. Not me, comparing to him i am just a crybaby who rant about submitting reports and dealing with the deadlines every week .
But one day, I don’t know what’s goes inside my brain . I couldn’t even control my own body. When i found out that Victor would go to the awards banquet with another woman, I stopped thinking and I couldn’t care less about how weird i am behaving with my colleagues . In that night , i saw victor leaving the fancy banquet hall with another woman.
She looks way more mature and wiser than me. To put it in simple words she has everything i lack, and to my unfortunate luck. She does everything way better than me . And tonight , I witnessed My heart sinking in the ground. Its like i just got drenched in icy cold water in this snowy weather . I drank Alot . Wine, whiskey and even brandy . I couldn’t even recognize the bitterness in them . I just drink to be numb and ease my heart.
When the banquet came to an end ..
“ you two can head home first, its late . The weather is pretty today so i just want to walk and be alone for some time “ I spoke with a shaky voice tone, then left after grabbing my hand bag from the table.
“ whats wrong with our boss? She’s has been acting weird these few days especially today” Kiki spoke to anna.
Anna were worried as well , she just shrugs in confusion replying to kikis question.
“ i have never seen her like that before!” Anna added
“ it’s dangerous to let her be alone !, we can’t just leave her there! “ kiki said
“ she wanted time to get her self together, I think its very inappropriate for us to interrupt her wishes . * she smiled * Don’t worry minor would keep his eyes on her from afar “ Anna said while patting Kiki s shoulder gently to comfort her .
After leaving them. i rushed to the back beautiful garden to try and process everything happened tonight , the scenery were amazing but I couldn’t focus and appreciate it , I started regretting what i did, I shouldn’t push him away acting dumb and slow from the beginning. I love him more than anything, I admit i am very jealous and I don’t know how to deal with it because its my first time feeling this way about someone. I have never wanted someone as much I do for Victor.
These feelings were so exhausting to bear alone ,I was so hopeless that i even shared my story anonymously in tumbler with people but everyone advised me to stay away and forget about him for endless reasons. Yeah, they were right. But..
I also can’t… I CANT STOP LOVING HIM AND GIVE UP ON THIS . people wont have mercy on us and our relationship since we are a boss and worker in love but now seeing this . Realizing I might lose him forever. I don’t care, seeing him taking care of a random woman and accompanying her in the banquet really make me rethink about everything and even that thoughtful decision i took and was so confident about . I decided to head to the parking section for cars to follow them. I started running like crazy .
“GOD PLEASE PLEASE LET ME MAKE IT , PLEASE DONT LET THEM LEAVE TOGETHER ! . PLEASE.. I CANT LOSE HIM THIS TIME” i said begging .
I can lose anything and everything, but not him. I can’t lose Victor!
Because no one loved me like he did And I can’t imagine falling in love again with a different man.
Suddenly my foot slipped and i fall.
The expensive pair of high heel that i brought got ruined too. One of them broke But I couldn’t stop here! Im still in the middle of the way . My legs started be numb and it hurt a little because these shoes were new too , But I didn’t care, I can’t lose the path that can lead me to them! I still have to find Victor!
When i reached to the cars parking space , I couldn’t find them…
My nose suddenly started to burn and my eyes started sweating?, i decided to go back inside the banquet and sit . I couldn’t find chair there so I went to sit the corner on the stairs like a lost child. I started to cry heartily like a baby who lost her parents . But for me comparing to the baby I lost everything, I lost Victor..
My body is shaking and I couldn’t stop the thoughts in my mind. My mind went wild and started to even imagining how they would look together in the church . Kissing each other passionately after announcing them as a husband and wife. My heart suddenly started to beat so fast and I began to struggle breathing , while sobbing quietly.
Suddenly i felt a warm coat landed on my head, shoulders and has familiar manly scent ..
my face were swallowed, especially my eyes and nose. I was slow to react and realizing that this coat belongs to him…. And only him. Victor..
I felt strange feeling , i was happy and relieved that i was able to meet him again.. and that happiness give me strange feelings in my tummy . I believe that’s what they call “butterflies in the stomach” , I felt really warm. I don’t think it’s because of that coat. But him. Who give them his scent and body temperature
“ * sigh helplessly at the view* Dummy.. what are you doing here in this condition ? Don’t you know it’s dangerous area, especially in this hour? What if someone came for you ? Or even decided to kidnap you ,taking you away ? What are going to do? I searched everywhere for you and I couldn’t find you its like you weren’t in this earth from the beginning , WHERE THE HECK YOU WERE??? ………. But most importantly are you okay? Did something happen?……… Duckie , are you crying? “
my eyes couldn’t stop the tears from coming out when he were talking in such an sharp voice, he was really worried so he was furious to see me in such a state alone , but when he noticed that i was crying so hard, sniffing and wiping my eyes his voice turned so soft and calm
he grabbed my hands and hold them between his hands to warm them up
I refused to talk or face him because i wasn’t looking at my best right now, he just kneeled down to my level like prince charming and looked at me, he noticed how swallowed and red my face are.. he reached with his hands to hold my cheeks while massaging my under eyes
“ do they hurt A lot? “ he said quietly ,
I nodded while looking in the ground, my eyes fell upon his shoes trying to avoid his glare.
“If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine too. Lets go home first … its getting late” he said..
I nodded because i was too tired to reply using sentences . I stand and remembered my broken heels and slightly injured foot.
Before I could explain, Victor carried me bridal style , I didn’t needed to explain anything. I felt warm , safe and happy, that I forget that I’m being held between his arms . I gave up to the warm sensation and fall asleep.
Victor put me in his car gently , wrapping my body with his big coat then went to grab hot tea and body warmers from the super market near by.
i took some time to wake up, when i wake up i was still in his car , the car was really warm. I didn’t find Victor on the driver seat so i looked outside.
i saw him tapping on his tablet working and answering calls . I also noticed that we’re near the sea and its 12am . I took my time appreciating the view , then i knocked at the window. Victor saw me and returned to the car.
“ you wake up, how do you feel now ? “ he asked with a soft voice
“ i am better now , sorry for making a scene back there. I was really upset about something so i was drunk , angry and upset thats why I decided to be alone , sorry i worried you and caused you trouble “i said while looking into his eyes.
“ dummy… And why did you drink? “ he said angrily ..
“ please don’t be mad i was just so upset, can’t you just allow me to drink only this time?” I said
“ yes, i am angry at you… but also glad to see you safe and better. After all , i can’t ask for more from dummy like you” victor said then poked the tip of my nose lightly with his fingers , after that he patted my head gently, smiling at me .
“ its late, let’s head home” he said
After few minutes driving i realized that we are in different path and its unfamiliar to me.
“ where are we going “ i asked hesitantly ..
“ to My home” he said
“ to your home??”
“Well, only if your apartment was nearby like my home. Its late already, just sleep tonight in my house” he said calmly
I nodded in agreement.
After few minutes we arrived.
Victor opened the door for me , i entered inside . His home was big but also felt so warm and cozy . Victor turned to face me “ go and take a hot shower, then dry your hair. Don’t get cold. I asked them to prepare you clothes. If you need anything ask me “ he said
i went to the room. It was big as expected and has a fancy bathtub. After i finished showering and preparing for bed. When i was about to head to sleep, I suddenly heard knocks on my door .
“Get in “ i said
The door was opened and it was victor, he was wearing his classic black pjs
“ as expected, you didn’t even dry your hair yet you headed to sleep anyways“ he said..
“What if you get cold?” He added
He went to grab a hairdryer from the drawer . Then turned to face me
“ come here” he said
I understand what he want so i sit and give him my back. He started to dry my hair, touching my hair so gently. After he finished drying my hair he took a hair tie and started to tie my hair.
“ there’s something I wanted to say to you” he said
“ hmm? “ I replied
“ i will get to the point “ he said
“ I might not know what exactly that got you so bothered like that , but you must know that there are a lot of circumstances in the world that are out of our control. The causes and reasons behind every circumstance is complicated. In a world where it’s impossible to know everything, it’s normal that we experience things we cannot understand and find difficult to accept. Even so, we have to accept it. There are many ways to accept it. Crying is also one of them. However, only for one night. ( he took my hand that was planning on reaching my face)…. And don’t rub your eyes, it will be better if you leave it and take a good sleep “ he added .
After leaving, he leaned to kiss my head .
“ good night “ he said
“ wait! “ i said
His eyes locked into mine , waiting for me to say what I want to say.
“ why did you went to the banquet, with her? “ i couldn’t stop my curiosity so i asked him .
He chuckled quietly then pinned my chin forcing me to look at him..
“ you jealous? “ he said
A bold idea came up to me ,
“Yes..i am! “ I didn’t wasted time and answered his question seriously.
He was frozen in his place , stopped chuckling and has a surprised face expression .
I gathered all my courage to say the three most difficult words ..
“ i love you victor! “ i said , while looking into his face..
then reached to his face and give him a quick peck on his lips ..
“ don’t make me feel this way again, I hate it !“ i said and then went for another kiss . But He didn’t kiss me back , still surprised by my bold move.
“ when i saw how you looked to her when she was talking to you . You were smiling while and looking into her eyes , I wondered if you ever started to lose your feelings towards me , i was really scared of losing you.. i even started to imagine how you would look in your groom suit .. standing beside her in front of everyone… i was so scared “ my voice cracked at the end.. i felt the tears forming in my eyes
“ I really… really don’t want to lose you . I did my research about her, She won countless times and even has the f-“ my speech were cut off with his hot kiss .
He closed his eyes and rested his one hand on the back of my head and the other on my neck.
He pulled his lips away from mine when he noticed how i was struggling to breathe.
“ … you talk too much” he said while maintaining his sharp eyes on me.
“Since when you had these thoughts on that little brain of yours? Instead of using it on useless things, apply this effort and worry about your unfinished weekly report instead. You thought I haven’t noticed how distracted you were ?“ Victor said.
“ relax dummy , Lili is just an older sister to me. She asked if i can company her since her husband on business trip outside china. Lili is busy in work but also dealing with three kids at the same time. I was just helping her manage the deal she had with SJ company , you don’t have to worry that little head of yours on such matters “ victor added.
“ Duckie, i searched for you, and luckily after 10017 years i was able to meet you again. The little head of yours could never imagine how bad I wanted to see that silly smile of yours again. I waited for so long , and you better make it up to me. In other words , Be mine” victor said , while holding my left cheek and went for another breathless kiss ..
“ i —-love —-you——-, Dummy “ he said between his kisses ..
“ don’t close your eyes, look at me when iam talking to you. You know that i love when you’re bold with me, right?” he said smiling at me then slightly biting my lower lip ..
“I was so happy when i met you, in the end of the banquet . I thought you went with her“ i said while having a big silly smile on my face
“ There is only one thing you should be happy about……. It has always been you and only you” he said while looking at my eyes and holding my hot blushing cheeks in his big hand .
After making out sessions for straight two hours , he lay me down on the bed pulling the quilt over my body.
“ go to sleep, and NEVER think about theses useless matters . if you want to ask me something Just ask me directly ... Goodnight dummy” he said ..
“Good night” i replied softly
He smiled then give me a final forehead kiss and went outside the room after dimming the lights ..
In the next day i went to LFG to submit my weekly report , suddenly i received a call from Kiki
“ boss, i made a surprise for you!! you are going to thank me for it . Don’t overthink about it, and just enjoy the surprise” she said while giggling in mischievous manner.
She closed the call, i was nervous and curious at the same time but I didn’t pay much attention on that because I didn’t have much time left, i have weekly report to submit! . I hurried to victors office and luckily I arrived on time but I found my secret love letters has been opened on victors office already and he had one of them on his hand , taking his time reading it while drinking his coffee ..
he noticed me standing near the door , surprised and embarrassed . Victor smirked in anticipation
“ You have a lot of explainings to do , Producer Duckie “ he said while giving me smirky face
what a Great start to my day.
The End
Thank you for reading, see you next time!
#恋与制作人#love and producer#evol x love#mlqc#mlqc li zeyan#mlqc victor#love victor#victor x reader#mlqc fanart#mlqc fanfic#mlqc date#mr love queen's choice#victor#little butterfly writes contest#little butterfly writes contest submission
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my 2020 fic writer wrap-up!!
this is going to be incredibly long (a total of 1.1k lmao) so imma put a cut here, but basically thank you for being here all throughout my 2020! i appreciate you all very much <3
fav kind of fic to write:
i love writing about mutual pining slow burn process of getting together but i have NEVER WRITTEN ONE IN MY LIFE so i hope to change that in 2021
in 2020 i discovered??? humour??? so i enjoy writing about that and when people tell me i’ve succeeded in making them laugh it’s all 😳😳😳 for me
hardest fic to write but also most proud of:
to write you a song was a fic i struggled with from all of april to june which is very long?? to me??? considering i usually sit down and write things in one seating. fully fleshed ideas don’t usually take me thaaaaaat long to crunch out, but for some reason i struggled bad with this bc I really didn’t know where i was going w it lol
LA LA LAND gets an honorary mention of it’s own simply because it was 44k, and it took me all of july-september, but it’s something i still am proud of! to show how difficult it was to write/plot here’s the spreadsheet i had to use to keep track of the scenes and the chapters djkgfsjdfkjhgd
Shout out to kiroiimye , sweet , sirius and krypt for keeping my sanity intact
easiest fic to write:
this genshin impact fic: The Land Favoured by the Wind but its because ive been thinking about this idea for more than a month lol so the actual writing and editing took me less than 3 hours
there were several others too, bc ideas then to hook themselves to me then refuse to let go fjshlfgdfsg
fav fic to write:
Most definitely this sakuatsu monstrosity here by the name of Miya Atsumu's unwavering love for Sakusa Kiyoomi and an unholy amount of terrible food analogies that should not have the right to Exist lol, I only came up with the idea of Atsumu asking Osamu how to make friends bc I was friendship pining for someone at the time and then proceeded to write the entirety of it in a feverish daze! It’s as of rn my top hit / kudoed / bookmarked fic on ao3 and man, thanks for liking this as much as i did :’D
writing sequence:
i have to write from start to finish lmao i cant move on if the fic isnt chronological? the only exception was la la land bc it was too long and i had help from the spreadsheet so i alr knew where i was going i just had to write it down dfhdsfksfksdfhjg
deleting works:
the only fics i remember deleting are both first chapters of a multichap, bc i dont like having unfinished pieces on ao3, and far less if im not sure if ill finish them/if i dont know where im going w it!
if it’s dark history of shit 15 year old me wrote imma keep it there! it is an archive after all. go on, judge my fics from 5 years ago ahahahaha
best writing advice:
not a general thing and might just apply tome, but i tend to write in very convoluted ways and squish a lot in my sentences, or add to many unnecessary commas, so i received advice recently about being more mindful of the pacing and it’s helped me a lot!
worst writing advice:
none at the top of my head djgfkdsjfh if it’s bs to me i just forget it entirelyyyy
collab:
@actuallyasweetpotato (also aforementioned sweet) and i did a thing for bokuaka week!!!! you can find it here: under my breath and into your scarf
wips:
9 unfinished zine pieces, 3 commissions, 1 exchange piece, about 10 or so other things
fav story of another writer:
favourite things
manly man falls for manliest man krbk fic!!!
gently, like a winter wind iwaoi birthday fic
sunchaser krbk fic
JUNO atsuhina fic
best review:
dude i cried
and shoutout to tien , sirius for fan art, fan comics, fan animatics of fics ive written, and shoutout to akemiiiii for this song they wrote i am eternaally grateful
worst review:
no negativity today!
prequel/sequel to other people’s fics:
none at the top of my head hm, but if anything probably any of kiro skk stuff
do i reread my stuff:
yes, but only if they’re old enough for me to go “it’s okay even if i dont like it bc this is old”
published:
hopefully! even though i do take part in zines and i guess they already have been published in a broad sense
fav/least fav chara to write:
no one at the top of my head! it’s instinctive for me to go ahead and think about character motives whenever i come across them, so if i ever write about someone, i usually just put my spin/interpretation of a character in a way that i can comprehend. the pros of this is i can write about many people, and the downside is that these characterisations can come off as out of character to anyone who doesn’t agree w me hehe
deadlines or goals:
if it’s a oneshot that’s under 3k i usually aim to have it done within 24 hours of beginning the fic. even tho i rarely succeed, having that as a goal usually pushes me to get it done faster than i would have if i had no goal altogether! if it’s anything long i aim for 1k a day, tho rn all my deadlines are zine deadlines and on top of that there’s uni, so to say im not stressing about writing would be a lie LOL
fav writers: (am too shy to tag but i swear these people are literal gods)
chonideno (mag): tumblr | twitter | ao3
batman (teesta): twitter | ao3
maplefudge (raei): tumblr | twitter | ao3
trope never written, would like to try:
aforementioned SLOWBURN MUTUAL PINING ANGST W A HAPPY ENDING GETTING TOGETHER!!!
but also royalty au
trope you will never write:
haha loads
how long have you been a writer:
began writing around may of 2014!! it was a horrible piece but im glad i started somewhere
influences:
chonideno/mag is one! maggie stiefvater who wrote the raven boys is also one, among many others
hardest part of writing:
writing action? writing things that are happening right now, describing people talking, eating
easiest part of writing:
descriptions of people, places, feelings. internal monologues, the like
best part of writing:
sharing how i perceive the world w other people, and discovering other people agree
wip sneak peek:
cw: hanahaki, falling out of love
this was written in a friend’s dms lmao this is why i sound like this
something unique i bring to all my stories
i had a revelation the other day after talking to all my friends and realised i have really pretentious titles
IF YOU’RE HERE
did you know the wc of this thing is 1k words? idk why you stuck through all of that but thank you. i’ll keep writing in 2021, and all the years after that, and i hope i’ll find you doing things you love too :)
#liv rambles#sorry i am incapable of shutting the fuck up :relieved:#i will continue to not shut the fuck up in 2021 see yall there
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Ask For Writers
A bunch of thanks to @theisolatedlily and @soldouthaz for tagging me. This was fun!
1. Describe how you first started writing and when you first posted: My high school English teacher always encouraged me to write and that’s how it started. I wrote a lot of poetry before starting fiction/fan-fic and started posting earlier this year.
2. Which of your characters do you typically resonate most closely with? Do you base any characters off of yourself? Every character I write has a part of me, not just in the writing sense but also some traits of mine. I tend to write from Harry’s pov or any other character that is Louis’ romantic interest in the story, entirely because it’s a lot easier to write about Louis rather than as him.
3. Where do you often find inspiration? Real life mostly. Songs, movies and books as well.
4. Has quarantine helped or hindered your writing process? Didn’t notice much of a difference really.
5. Do you listen to music/noise while you write or do you prefer silence? I prefer silence when I write, helps me focus. Rarely do I find a song that fits perfectly with a scene so I have that on repeat until I can’t.
6. What is your biggest writing pet peeve in your writing or in general? People who say only authors with popular works deserve to be called writers.
7. Describe your ideal writing setup ink stains on my hand, fountain pen scribbling smoothly over the paper and a lamp as the only source of light. Somewhere warm and cozy.
8. Favourite time of day to write? Dawn and after midnight.
9. Favourite genre to write + one you’d like to try writing in the future? Horror, fantasy, magical realism, historical and dark elements. Sci-fi is a genre that is way out of my comfort zone so probably that.
10. Do you struggle with writer’s block? How do you typically overcome it? All the bloody time lmaoo. Usually I stick to songs that I enjoy listening, switch genres or plots to overcome the block.
11. What is the easiest part of your writing process and the most difficult? Everything other than outlining is my fav part. Outlining is one pain in the ass.
12. How do you come up with original characters? (If applicable) real life is where the key is.
13. What is your favourite and least favourite word? Least fav: moist fav: tasavvur (it’s an Urdu word that translates into imagination or contemplation)
14. What is one thing about your writing that you’re really proud of and one thing you hope to continue working at? I’m really glad I can paint the imagery of a scene quite well. Paragraph starters is what I’m working on atm.
15. What work of yours has your favourite ‘verse/world building? How did you come up with it? The Blood of Love is one of my best work and I say this very humbly. The atmosphere, the themes, the overshadowing, everything I wrote of it, I absolutely love it and am proud of it.
16. What font and size do you write in? Single spaced or double? Georgia, 11, single spaced.
17. What is a typo(s) you find yourself making consistently? Leaving out apostrophise.
18. (If applicable) do you separate fic writing from fandom? Most of the times. When I’m writing canon, I look into the fandom for inspo.
19. What emotion is you’re favourite to write? Which is the most difficult? Fear is my fav emotion to write, as weird as that sounds. I find writing humour very challenging.
20. What is one thing you hope readers always take away from your works? Writers put a lot of their time into fics and appreciation for the work is always heart-warming. Other than that, I wish more people noticed the overshadowing and metaphors used.
21. What is the best and worst writing advice you’ve ever received? No writing advice is bad. What may work for one may not be suited for other. You may not like what you’ve written today but you can always come back and edit it to your likeness.
22. Which one of your works would you most want to see turned into a film/television show? The Blood of Love for sure! Also a wip: inked memory aka ghost rider au
23. Do you write scenes chronologically or out of order? I write whichever scene I want to and then align them chronologically.
24. How do you handle criticism? Honest and genuine criticism is always welcomed, not spiteful J
25. What is the advice you would give to someone who is looking to start writing? Write because you want and not because you have to. Forcing it won’t do any good. It’s alright to not write when you don’t feel like it but don’t let that get you lazy.
26. What kind of feedback on your work always makes your day? Repeating myself here hehe but when readers notice the foreshadowing and metaphors I use, it brings the biggest smile on my face
27. Which fic ‘verse of your own would you most like to exist in? Which fic’s characters would you most like to befriend? The Blood of Love is a universe I’d love to exist in. Louis’ character from my estranged actor au and Harry from tbol really speak to me.
28. What do you always enjoy getting asks about/wish people would ask about more? Backstories about my characters and fic and my imagination. It runs wild lol
29. What has writing added to your life? How has it changed you? It’s helped me a lot to see from other people’s perspective and read body language in a better way.
30. Why do you write? It helps organize my thoughts and be more coherent in a way that imp not when speaking.
Boost yourself + tags!
1a. share the last sentence you wrote "Before sunset," he says. It's not entirely true. Part of him wishes he could go now but Harry isn't sure if he'd be able to survive without kissing Louis.
2a. describe the wip you’re most excited about: the sequel to The Blood of Love!! We’re gonna get Zayn out, we’re gonna make zourry suffer a little and some zarry beef. And ofc, loads on magic, horror and dark elements.
3a. share the piece of dialogue from one of your works you’re most proud of: “Falling in love with you was never a choice, Louis,” Harry says through his tears.
4a. share the best first and last lines from your work(s): “Of all the things Louis’ done in his life, falling in love with Harry is perhaps the easiest thing he ever did.” — first line
“Louis flushed but dived in for another kiss, sealing this newfound happiness with the kiss of their love.” — last line.
5a. link the last fic you read. Don’t remember which one it was, sorry.
6a. link the last work you published: Cant link the blff yet so The Blood of Love it is.
7a. link to your ao3 (if applicable): Mugglemirror
8a. someone that inspires you: Can I say Louis? I’m saying Louis. And Taylor!
9a. a comfort fic/work that you’ve been grateful for this year: I haven’t done much reading this year, fandom wise but I’m really looking forward to read all the amazing blff fics.
10a. other writers that you’d like to tag! @yvesaintlourent @thepolourryexpress @lads-laddylads @babieloui @falsegoodnight @ashleyjohnsonfanaccount @allwaswell16
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My Wife Has An 18 Hour Drive Fic Rec Roundup
I wanted to make a fic rec post for the insane amount of Untamed fic ive been reading anyways, and Chi @got2ghost is driving halfway across the country tomorrow, so there’s no time like the present to put all of the really great fics ive read over the past couple of weeks in one location! Let’s get it poppin!
Ones That Chi Already Read:
A Lot of Edges Called Perhaps by hansbekhart (Wangxian, E, 21k)
The funny part is - and it is a little funny, even if Wei Wuxian has no one left to share the joke with - they never have. Not anything. He has never kissed any part of Lan Zhan besides his slim hands; never been even partially undressed with him anywhere besides a miserable, xuanwu-infested cave. It’s always been like this between them, this simmering need, this desperate understanding: a knowledge so deep that it lives somewhere in his bones, that if he wanted to have Lan Zhan he could have him, and if Lan Zhan wanted Wei Wuxian he could have that too. But they never have.
I found this fic on someone’s blog when they said that it was the definitive fic to read directly after finishing the series so i saved it, read it directly after finishing the series, and felt completely and wholly fulfilled by the resolution found in this fic. 10/10 cant recommend enough.
One Rouge Spark In My Direction by hansbekhart (Lan Wangji/Xiao Xingchen/Song Lan E, 5k)
He’d thought, in Yueyang, that they’d seen something in each other, something familiar. That maybe they’d recognized something in him. But it’s been many years, and many things have happened since, and he’s guessed wrongly at other people’s hearts before. Lan Wangji looks back down at the table, at his steaming, bitter tea. He’ll beg if he has to.
In “A Lot Of Edges Called Perhaps” Wangji mentions that he has had sex before and this is the in-universe story of that time and WHEW BABY!!!! AHHHHHH!!!
Gathered Herbs & Sweet Grasses by hansbekhart (Laz Sizhui & Lan Wangji, G, 19k)
Later, when he’s older, it’s this that A-Yuan will remember most: the stretch of silence, the two of them both dirty and shaking with fever, as he looked at Brother Rich, and Brother Rich looked back at him.
This is a fic about Lan Wangji raising Sizhui from when he brings him back from the Burial Mounds until they bring Wuxian back to Cloud Recesses after he’s resurrected. It made me cry about 18 times and I consider it fully canon in relation to the show. I reread this fic at LEAST once a week. *chefs kiss*
Seldom All They Seem by Fahye (Wangxian, E, 25k)
or, one hundred and thirty-three principles of the Gusu Lan, pertaining to the state of marriage
***
He bows to Wei Wuxian, sword in hand, sleeves falling properly. Wei Wuxian bows in return, and the sect leaders begin the opening courtesies, and for all of ten minutes Lan Wangji is under the impression that he is betrothed to a boy who is perfectly normal and acceptable apart from an unfortunate tendency to fidget with his clothes.
That impression does not last.
A canon-divergent fic exploring “what if Wangji and Wuxian were betrothed from when they were young like Yanli and the peacock?” It’s extremely good and very compelling and also made me cry multiple times. (The confrontation in the rain doesn’t get any easier even if they’re betrothed!)
Half Cloak & Half Dagger by Fahye (Lan Xichen/Meng Yao, E, 13k)
Jin Guangyao lifts his head and smiles. "I'm considering a problem."
"Can I be of any assistance with it?"
He drops a kiss on Lan Xichen's chest. With the nail of one finger he lightly traces the characters for irony on Lan Xichen's side. "Not this one, er-ge."
In the “Seldom All They Seem” universe but focused on xiyao. Has hands down the best written characterization of meng yao in any fic ive read so far. I continuously come back to this fic just to read the absolutely genius way this author writes the Head Bitch In Control of the cultivation world.
Hurricane by gdgdbaby (Wangxian, E, 6k)
"Haven't you heard?" Nie Huaisang replied, clicking his tongue, though he was clearly pleased that he could be the one to break the news. He leaned in to announce with a dramatic flourish: "Lan Wangji just took emergency family leave this past weekend."
WANGXIAN AS SPIRK STAR TREK PON FAR AU!!!!!!!!!!!!! WEEWOO WEEWOO WEEWOO!!!!!!!! This was actually recced to ME by CHI and I have not stopped thinking about this fic for a full month. It’s like author gdgdbaby sat down one day and was like “Tumblr user Liv Scottspack deserves everything she wants in this life.” and then wrote this fic. Thank you author gdgdbaby, I love you.
Ones That Chi Has Yet To Read:
My Age Has Never Made Me Wise by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 63k)
“We hear that His Excellency might be married by summer’s end,” the merchant’s wife says and Wei Wuxian freezes, his heart in his throat. “The Gusu Lan sect has been buying enough red silk and brocade that the merchants in Caiyi can’t satisfy the demand.”
He feels himself grow brittle inside, like a flick of a finger to his temple might make him shatter. His ears are ringing.
“Who’s the lucky bride?” he asks despite himself. His tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth.
Or: The story of a marriage.
I LOVE THIS FIC. The absolute best kind of slow burn and I think such an extremely accurate representation of the canon material. I’m always surprised by the authors in this fandom’s ability to write shit that is so concretely grounded in the universe. This could and should be a real companion novel. Amazing. I love it.
The Year of Drought by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 24k)
Wei Ying could not be contained by the walls of the Cloud Recesses, alive again and overflowing with it, bursting like a dam in spring with the force of two lives unspent. And so he had to go. Lan Wangji understands that—he understood it when Wei Ying told him of his plans, looking at Lan Wangji above the rim of his cup with an apologetic smile, like craving freedom was something to apologize for.
Wei Ying would go, and Lan Wangji would see him off; this has always been the only way it could be.
Or: In the absence of Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji waits.
The previous fic but from Wangji’s perspective. Absolutely required reading if you read the other one. Wangji baby.......i love you.....
A Civil Combpaign by Ariaste (Jin Ling/Lan Sizhui, T, 20k)
“And,” said one of the pompous ministers, “there’s the matter of a marriage to consider as well!”
Jin Ling, who at the beginning of that sentence had expected to slam into the very last wall of his patience and lose his temper entirely, paused. “A what?”
Thing was… it wasn’t such a bad idea.
Jin Ling gets it in his head that as sect leader he should get married and sets his sights on Lan Sizhui. I cannot stress enough how FUCKING CUTE this fic is!!! Sizhui being the best boy! Jin Ling having more uncles than he knows what to do with! Jiang Cheng being the worst at relationship advice! It’s so fucking good it love it so much.
Anyway, Here’s Wuji by kakikaeru (Lan Jingyi/Lan Sizhui, T, 18k)
The melody gets a little clearer when he breaks out of the trees, and Jingyi changes course with certainty, barreling down the back hill and through the Cloud Recesses, dodging scandalized disciples left and right. He throws open the doors to the Receiving Hall without announcement and bows nearly double, eyes on the floor instead of on the shocked faces of the Mei delegation and the impenetrable gaze of the Chief Cultivator.
"Forgive this disciple," Jingyi shouts, because he's going to get punished for rule breaking regardless. "From the back hill, Hanguang-jun, there is a song in the wind!"
Lan Jingyi comes of age.
A Jingyi-central fic about Jingyi growing up and falling in love and being a hero and being the second best boy of my heart right after Sizhui. Not only is this fic sweet and romantic but it’s another one that explores a lot of interesting things within canon and all of the supporting characters are written very well and are just as interesting as second best boy Jingyi.
Ok, JiuJiu by kakikaeru (Jin Ling/Ouyang Zizhen, T, 16k)
Uncle's jaw works in the way that suggests he's about to say something irredeemable. Jin Ling, in a move of diplomacy he hopes the Chief Cultivator appreciates, distracts him with spicy food and his favourite subject: the incompetence of his own officials.
"I hear the lakes in the south east are having drainage problems?" he asks nonchalantly, sticking three big slices of braised pork belly into his Uncle's bowl.
Jin Ling just wants to get through the Discussion Conference with his Sect, his dignity, and his heart intact.
A follow up fic to “Anyways, Here’s Wuji.” I LOVE the Jin Ling/Ouyang Zizhen dynamic of Jin Ling having been raised by Jiang “I keep all my emotions right here and then one day I’ll die” Cheng being hopelessly charmed and smitten with Ouyang “President of the I Love Love Romance Novel Book Club” Zizhen! I LOVE IT! EXTREMELY CUTE!
This Side of Paradise by greenfionn (Wei Wuxian/Wen Qing, E, 3k)
Wei Wuxian does some very quick math in his head that goes something like this: He is pretty sure he’s in love with Lan Zhan - Lan Zhan is not here and likely never will be here - Wen Qing is here, not to mention very hot and let us not forget, actually interested in sex with him - there’s a solid chance he goes genuinely crazy or dies, or both, in the next few months and really, who wants to die a virgin?
Listen.......the fic premise is “Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing, noted bisexuals, figure life sucks enough at the Burial Mounds, they might as well have any fun they can before they die” and........I Am Looking Directly At It. It features Wen Qing bossing Wei Wuxian around and Wei Wuxian’s canon he-wants-to-be-pregnant kink. It’s........I liked it.
To The Act of Making Noise by words-writ-in-starlight (Lan Sizhui & Lan Wangji, G, 19k)
His father in white plays the song late into the night, and when A-Yuan wakes up confused and afraid, the guqin lulls him back to sleep.
Lan Sizhui hears his father play the same song every night for his whole life, and never, ever get an answer.
Another very moving and heartwarming fic about Lan Wangji raising Sizhui and Sizhui figuring out Wangji’s past and then eventually reconnecting with Wei Wuxian. It’s cute and soft and Sizhui is my best boy!
History (Proud To Call Your Own) by words-writ-in-starlight (Wen Ning, G, 5k)
“A-Yuan? Um—Lan-gongzi,” Wen Ning corrects, trying to set a good example. The children are young, seven and eight, exactly a dozen of them lined up in two crisp lines of tiny blue and white robes. Wen Ning can feel them staring at him, even though most of them have already mastered that Lan trick of neutrality. The smallest, a little girl with liquid dark eyes, is clinging to her nearest shijie’s sleeve and half-hiding. “Can I—what can I do for you?”
Wen Ning gets himself recruited for services, while he and Sizhui are visiting Cloud Recesses. Wei Wuxian gets a fan club.
Set in the same universe as “To The Act of Making Noise,” a very cute fic about Wen Ning finding his place in the post-canon world and being proud of his cousin Sizhui and being the world’s best substitute teacher. As the official Wen Ning Fan Club President, I had to include this.
Lan Sizhui's Guide to Courtship by Kimblydot (Lan Sizhui/Lan Jingyi, T, 23k)
In which Jingyi is a little oblivious, Sizhui is patient (and should have said something in the beginning), and everyone else is resigned to watching them dance around each other for far longer than necessary.
(Or: five things Sizhui tries to do in his courtship, and the one time Jingyi realizes there was one happening in the first place.)
I’ll stop describing fics about the juniors as being “cute” when they stop being SO FUCKING CUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
Grow by cafecliche (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, T, 14k)
“Okay,” Jingyi says, as Sizhui puzzles this out aloud. “Okay! So the demon has been turning its victims into children.”
“I think so,” Sizhui says.
“To make them easier prey,” Jingyi says.
“Yes,” Sizhui says.
“So—” Jingyi’s voice cracks here, “this kid is Senior Wei.”
Wei Wuxian, still tangled in his own massive robes, blinks politely at them.
(Or: Wei Wuxian is cursed on a night-hunt, and the junior quartet rapidly finds themselves in over their heads.)
What I expected to be a goofy, silly fic turned out to be extremely emotional and made me FULLY CRY! It’s a very moving fic about Sizhui coming to understand himself and Wei Wuxian a lot better AND features all of the juniors arguing over who’s turn it is to hold 6 year old Wei Wuxian. A true win/win of a fic.
Your Name, Safe In Their Mouth by astrolesbian (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, G, 10k)
“You’ve got a fever,” Wei Wuxian says soothingly. “You just keep still as well as you can. We’ll have you fixed up soon.”
Lan Sizhui recognizes his tone—this is the voice that Wei Wuxian uses on hurt people and young children, a very calm and no-nonsense voice that has none of the mischief and cheer of the way he sounds the rest of the time. Lan Sizhui looks up and meets his eyes, and they are dark, stormy gray, muddled and concerned.
“I’m all right,” he croaks.
“Hush,” Wei Wuxian says, in a low croon, like someone quieting a baby. Then he blinks, and looks away, awkward. “I mean—you shouldn’t speak. You’re tired. Rest if you need to.”
or: lan sizhui gets sick on a night hunt. wei wuxian comforts him. they both have a lot of feelings about it.
The Wei Wuxian and Sizhui bonding fic that I so desperately desperately needed to read. Scratched the very particular itch of “but have they REALLY talked about what it means that they’re reunited after 16 years???”
Stainless by Fahye (Wangxian, E, 6k)
"I'm starting to feel," says Lan Xichen, "that this was a counterproductive suggestion."
Wei Wuxian looks down onto the pristine, tranquil cold springs of the Cloud Recesses. Sitting in the water, their bare shoulders rising like dumplings carefully spaced in a steaming-basket, are a large number of Lan disciples.
"They seem to be doing better," he says, encouragingly. "If they--oh, no, I see what you mean."
At the near bank, someone has pressed someone else against the rocks and is kissing them frantically.
It’s smut! What is getting into a new pairing if not an excuse to read sex pollen in new and exciting ways!
Sweet Night by thejillyfish (Wangxian, E, 10k)
It was like coming back to life again, like being restitched into existence, cell by cell, nerve by nerve. From the surface of his skin to the marrow of his bones, everything new and purposeful. Like being pulled back from oblivion into an embrace of pure light. A feeling of absolute asylum.
That’s what it felt like, to realize Lan Wangji was in love with him.
In-show au of “what if they just admitted they’re in love and fucked during episode 43?” Soft and romantic and hot!
Shadows In The Sun Rise by Yuu_chi (Wangxian, E, 25k)
“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji says, voice slow and a pitch too quiet. A second later Wei Wuxian understands why. “I cannot hear.”
Or; Lan Wangji is cursed into internal isolation. Their ability to understand one another remains as unwavering as ever.
OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD. I have been thinking about this fic nonstop since I read it. It is.....fucking incredible. One of the best qualities of wangxian is that they’re so in tune with each other and able to work so cohesively with little communication and this fic is like “what if we take that and DIAL IT UP TO ELEVEN” and i was like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
WHEW OKAY that’s enough for right now!
I’m constantly reading new fics all the time so maybe eventually I’ll make a second one if Chi actually reads/likes any of these (they’re picky!), or if anyone else likes this list and wants updates.
TO CHI: Thank you for getting me into The Untamed! I love you! I had the best time texting you every thought that passed through my head while I watched it. I’ve loved all of the content you’ve sent me from the book and the comic. I’ve loved making fun of Yibo with you. I’ve loved being your fic taste tester. Life sucks right now but at least we have wangxian!
TO EVERYONE ELSE: If you read any of these fics please come to my DMs and talk to me about them! I have a lot of feelings and love to cry over fics! Thank you!
#the untamed#fic#WHEW BABY THIS IS A LOT#i did in fact just spend two full hours making this#i dont regret it at all bc im bad about bookmarking things so im glad this forced me to go back through my ao3 history#and actually make a record of the fics ive read and loved#theres SO MUCH talent in this fandom#just a crazy amount#from the fan artists to the fic writers to the gif makers#i forgot how fun being in a fandom is when the canon is good and the fans are creative!#i said it on my sideblog but this has been the first time ive EVER read fic for a fandom#where i wasnt exclusively reading fics about a certain pairing getting together#i literally just want to read any and everything about this universe#regardless of pairing or rating or whatever else#which is not at all my usual style#shout out to the untamed for being a good fucking show and for having like four other canon adaptions#theres just so much to work with and the fic writers absolutely kill it#ANYWAYS I LOVE YOU CHI#HAVE A SAFE TRIP TOMORROW
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oohohoho you just opened the deepest can of worms on the planet
-mod dave, who wrote a fucking ten mile essay
first off, addressing the second anon, no theyre all humans. h., half humans at least. cause yall know me i fucking love my humanstuck aus off my ASS
(that would be funny as hell though. a troll from space walking into a camp on earth going “I AM THE SON OF ONE OF YOUR EARTH GODS. BITCH” like... holy shit)
so first things first their parents. im gonna lay this out, the beta kids and trolls are all greek (EXCEPT sollux hes roman cause his parent has no greek equivalent), and all the alpha kids and trolls are those gods roman equivalents (,,EXCEPT dirk cause he kinda balances sollux being roman out). i havent figured out how thatd happen like 16+ times yet cause in the percy jackson books theres only ever been one instance of two siblings of the same godly descent being greek and roman respectively in HISTORY so like.. i guess th. i guess thats just not a problem in this au
anyway this gets really long so im gonna talk about the beta kids and trolls cause i havent elaborated on the alphas at all ((peep the tags if you wanna see their parents though))
johns the son of zeus, rose is the daughter of athena, dave is the son of apollo, and jade is the daughter of demeter. they were all raised in their respective states, all had to come to new york for various reasons. jades been there the longest, shes been there 9 years and shes been on a couple quests. her biggest accomplishment so far is how she protected the camp from this big vicious angry hellhound that got past the barrier. naturally the girls fluent in Dog Training, so she steps up and instead of trying to kill this thing, she reaches out and tames it as fast as she can. it ends up actually working, and ever since that day she, her cabin, and the camp have a whole bodyguard sleeping right outside the demeter cabin! hes her steed in battle and hes a Very Good Boy. and his name is becquerel
johns the newest kid at camp, he has no idea who he is or why the fuck his school got attacked or why in the hell those anemoi thuellai were so fixated on him or HOW in the hell he absorbed the lightning one threw at him and ended up fine,,, hes just a big mess right now. a big enough mess that when he got claimed by literally zeus, no one else was around, he shrugged it off as some basic magical happening, and he stayed in the hermes cabin far longer than he should have cause no one! fucking knew he got claimed! by zeus of all people! dumbass. he ends up figuring it out though. like an off-hand mention about how this “weird lightning thing appeared above my head a couple weeks ago, haha weird right?” once he figures it out he realizes “hey i might be able to fly” so he sneaks off into the woods to try it. he succeeds fairly quickly but god almighty everyones face the one day the dude just yote himself off a small cliff without warning,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
dave and rose are really tight, theyve been there roughly the same time length, and since their cabins are across from each other they just bother each other all the time. daves the resident Doctor even though he really doesnt look it cause hes got the apollo powers. apollo is the medicine god. so if you wound your stupid ass in battle daves in the ER room patching you up with his glowy hands. rose on the other hand is a very good strategist. shes one of the only athena kids ever recorded to actually have a power - telekinesis. she has no idea how she developed it, she thinks its from birth, but it freaks her out. shes training it though.
so the beta trolls, are also all human(ish). aradias hades kid. but i pulled a pjo trope on her based on one of my favorite characters (im not saying for spoilers, but if you recognize the situation, You Probably Know Who Its Based Off) and aradia died. her mom, the handmaid, had been pulling some Shady Ass Shit and ended up getting herself killed, but aradia tried saving her and ended up going down with her.
so handmaid gets sentenced to the fields of punishment in the underworld, and aradia gets sentenced to elysium, heroes paradise. shes like “no i want my mom to be okay” so they take that away from aradia and they put them both in the fields of asphodel, the neverending grey space for Not So Good But Not So Bad people. her mom becomes a shade (shadow spirit, no human resemblance), as all people do, but aradia. doesnt? and she gets dunked in the fucking river lethe and if you dont know what that does it erases your memory. so she just. comes out of the river like “hello? wgat tae fukc goin on??” but she still remembers one thing. there was an “a” in her name.
tavros is the son of hermes, hes just kinda taken on the role of backup counselor for when the actual cabin counselor is out. hes in a wheelchair, but he also has prosthetic legs for when he needs to actually stand up and fight. hes really good at it too. also catch him in winged converse cause he Owns Those and Uses Them To His Advantage. hes trying his best to keep focused on the camp, cause aradia was his childhood friend, he misses her a whole lot, she never got to camp in the first place. and to his knowledge, shes still dead.
sollux is a janus kid. thats a problem cause janus is roman, and this is a greek camp. he grew up with dave, he showed up with dave, hes been at camp as long as dave. but hes been unclaimed since he showed up so he thinks hes unwanted by whatever parent he has. he knows hes a demigod, he got through the camp barriers, so what the fuck is wrong with him? he also feels shitty cause hes shit at the greek lessons, he cant read a lick of it which literally every demigod without exception should be able to do, he cant name any gods- well, he can, but.. he gets their names mixed up. why does he keep calling poseidon “neptune”? and he has a much, much different way of natural fighting than other kids. they slice, he jabs. he wasnt taught to jab.
karkat is an aphrodite kid with vitiligo, and to make matters worse, hes ace and on the aro spectrum. to make matters WORSE, the aphrodite kids are kinda notorious for being really shallow, really materialistic, and really mean. karkats been dubbed the “runt” of the cabin, he gets made fun of for his spots to the point where he uses make up and magic to conceal them. worst of all? hes the kid of the goddess of love, for fucks sake. being reminded that “loveless people shouldnt be able to stay in this cabin, mom must have made a mistake claiming you” is kind of.. a blow to the self esteem. long story short he hates aphrodite for claiming him, and would have rather stayed in the hermes cabin. but he eventually goes on this big quest thats vague as fuck right now but Its The Main Plot, he ends up proving to himself that hes worth something and that his siblings are wrong, and my FAVORITE LINE IN THE WHOLE THING i came up with is HIS when he deals a final blow to some big monster: “REMEMBER MY FACE THE NEXT TIME YOU REINCARNATE. MY NAME IS KARKAT VANTAS, I’M THE SON OF APHRODITE, AND LOOKS CAN KILL.”
nepeta isnt anywhere near developed as others are unfortunately, shes a daughter of ares and shes really really good at hand to hand combat. shes small but she leads groups of people in things ranging from camp volleyball games to actual literal wars. shes a tough little shit
kanaya isnt really developed either, i have yet to figure out most of her powers too actually, shes a daughter of iris, the rainbow goddess though. (blatant reference to both kanayas vampirism and. h. her. sh. es ga. gay) ONE THING SHE CAN DO THOUGH is iris message at will without water or drachmas so really shes just everyones go to cell phone and its fucking hilarious cause people just come into the cabin like “KANAYA I NEED TO TALK TO [X]” and shes like “You Better Fucking Pay Me I Am Not Your Personal Cell Phone”
terezi is the daughter of nemesis and she has this really peculiar power she hasnt really gotten the hang of yet. she has synesthesia, so while she cant see she can smell and taste the colors of her surroundings and its really helpful. sometimes though she gets messages from her mom. they dont even come as dreams half the time, they come as almost a different plane altogether. tez has the power to literally tip the scales, pretty much. and when she gets like that, she can see. shes not on earth though, shit on earth stops when shes like that. shes just kinda In Her Own Head, i guess? and in her head she holds the two scales in her hands. she is the arms of the scale. and depending on which one she lifts up, she can literally alter the fate of the battle or happening thats going on By Herself. once she chooses she just whooshes back to real life though and nothing has changed. the only downside? it takes a LOT of energy and cant be exploited for little things. her one thing on her bucket list is to tap into said powers while getting something from a vending machine so like three things will fall out but it hasnt happened yet and shes upset
vriskas a daughter of tyche, the luck goddess, come the fuck on you knew i was gonna, i havent really elaborated on her either and im upset about that. but hey now you get a break from all those fucking paragraphs
equius is a hephaestus kid, and he kinda stays in the background. hes a range fighter, he spends a lot of time in the forge, and even though its been a project looooong since forgotten, hes been excavating the tunnels under cabin nine for years. by himself. he has no idea where they lead, but dammit hes gonna find out where. he has no idea about a certain bunker in the woods though...
gamzees just there for a fucking laugh tbh hes a son of dionysus and i love that cause hes the god of wine and parties and insanity. usually gamzees just zoning out somewhere hes Not supposed to be, and hes not affected by the maenads FUCKED UP BULLSHIT that goes down the forest sometimes. also hes so fucking scared of tavroses wing shoes he tried them on once while he was high and JESUS CHRIST
eridan is the son of kymopoleia, a SUPER obscure goddess. lets just say dont fuck with eridan cause his mom is the goddess of violent sea storms,
and naturally, feferi is the daughter of poseidon. cause who the FUCK else would she be the daughter of. WHO. NAME ONE GOD
OH AND JUST CAUSE I FORGOT CALLIE AND CALIBORN ARE SATYRS IN THIS AU. CALLIE HAS PAN PIPES. and caliborn still has a gun
#LONG#LONG LONG LONG LONG LOOOOOOOOONG#god DAMN this took a minute and a half to write#okay here are the alphas parents#jane - jupiter // roxy - bellona // dirk - hephaestus // jake - mars#yes that does mean dirk and the zahhaks are godly half brothers#damara - pluto // rufioh - mercury // mituna - janus // kankri - venus#meulin - mars // porrim - arcus // latula - invidia // aranea - fortuna#horuss - vulcan // kurloz - bacchus // cymopolea // meenah - neptune#not a quote#mod dave#homestuck#demigodstuck#john egbert#rose lalonde#dave strider#jade harley#aradia megido#tavros nitram#sollux captor#karkat vantas#nepeta leijon#terezi pyrope#vriska serket#equius zahhak#gamzee makara#eridan ampora#feferi peixes#calliope#caliborn
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I am going to finish this stupid fan fiction, if only to prove I can write and complete something this long. I heard someone say recently that it’s not usually laziness that stops people from doing things. If I was just being lazy, then I wouldn’t feel irritated about not finishing it, I’d be content saying naw, this is fine. Instead, I keep trying and i just cant?? so what the heck is the deal.
It’s so so dumb, because it is literally the most low stakes goal ever. Finish a piece of fan fiction. Finish the story. But i open the page to write the last two chapters, where everything I've built up is going to finally fit together, and a wave of panic comes over me. THIS IS THE FUN PART!! But all of the sudden I’m thinking of every single time i’ve screwed up. Dumb auditions where I had no idea what I was doing, public readings of very bad poetry, piano recitals where I finished and hid behind a glass of water and my hands shook and my throat ached because I didn’t want to cry over how bad I did.
I’ve written 2 full-length novels of my own that are never going to the light of day. They are barely passable as anything worth reading at all. Sometimes my worst thoughts are just too loud for me to do anything. I thought maybe, maybe if I wrote a fan fiction novel, it would take the pressure off- I could practice story structure, character arcs, etc, (because clearly i don’t have it down yet) and it wouldn’t hurt so bad to reach the end of a two-year project and realize I’ve made something only I will ever care about. Shutting down a 230 page document feels like shutting down a piece of my soul with it. And it kills me that no one cares about it because it feels like they don’t care about me either. I am screaming out into a nothingness that looks me up and down and shrugs.
But I’m coming at it wrong, and I know I am. Because, first of all, I am not the things I create. Second, I finished two novels. And sure, they’re not great, but I was a teenager. I did it, and I loved them. They were worth it because I loved them.
So I’m not sure why I think I need to prove to myself I can write something perfect on the first try. No one can do that. I just have to write the thing, and that’s it. That’s all it takes to be a writer. You just do it. Who cares about anything else? Because here’s the thing. I’m going to get there some day. But even if I don’t- if it wasn’t even possible for anyone to read anything I’ve written, I would still write stories in my school notebooks. I would still tell myself stories while falling asleep. I don’t think I know how to not make stories. My love for fiction and art can exist independent of the approval of others, and I know this is true, because I remember when I used to make for myself. Isn’t any childhood game a story for yourself? When did I begin to think I needed justification? Why do I need to integrate it into an economy?
Probably, it was a lot of things that got me here. Maybe my family gave me too much praise or not enough or somewhere in between. Maybe ADD is playing a part or gifted child syndrome or whatever. Maybe i’ve felt helpless too many times. Maybe I’d rather do nothing at all than try my hardest and still fail. But if that isn’t the worst reason not to do something I’ve ever heard... I love writing, damn it, and I’ve just got to get out of my own way.
#i can’t believe i’m soul searching so that I can write gravity falls fan fiction.#long post#sorry im having a moment#can you imagine a single c on a paper last semester murdering a human being because take a wild guess#im a human not a piece of art#fuck#this is why i cried in Soul#which is a good movie btw#adghjg#okay i'm going to go do it now#where i will fix ford pine's gifted child syndrome CoInCiDENTaLLY#sheesh#writing
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Here’s! To! Hoping! I mean, I don’t think there’s been anything super bad yet! But I’ve also only taken three or four doses (and I now realized I missed my most recent one but I’ve already eaten and I’m supposed to take it before I eat FUCK-), so I guess? I’ll wait? And see??? Also I didn’t sleep at ALL last night, I am. So tired. I go to work at five in the morning. Please help. But anyways I hope your test goes well!!! I’m rooting for you, buddy!!! (Nyanon, 1/5)
Anyways YEAH they really are, they hate it and it’s hilarious. To be honest, it’s even reflected in their abilities? Uncontainable chaos versus total control, you know? It’s what makes their frenemy relationship so interesting, I think. And listen Akutagawa and Atsushi fight on occasion (re: a lot, they’re vitriolic best buds at some point and I will take that to my grave), but one thing they have in common is Not being able to handle their crush Loving Them and then Proving It. (Nyanon, 2/5)
Like, Akutagawa flops out on Atsushi’s bed screaming into a pillow and Atsushi’s just like “bet you’re regretting teasing me” (watch Chuuya and Dazai pull the exact same thing on the other side of their location). And as sad as it is,, Atsushi has probably not experienced a Number of the things he’s deserved to experience? Being hugged, being given forehead kisses by a parental figure, being able to make a pillow fort, being held when he has a nightmare... (Nyanon, 3/5)
Poor guy needs many, many hugs. (Also its Fukuzawa, what do you expect. Watch Dazai spray himself with catnip cologne or something to see if it has the same effect.) But yeah, that’s! Kinda what I was thinking! I just can’t see him liking the,, Super violent ones after his childhood, you know? Ones where he gets to stroll around in piece and follow a nice story and build himself a sort of home feels like something he’d enjoy more. Also do you think he’d like otome games??? (Nyanon, 4/5)
I feel like he’d either love them, hate them, or find them hilarious. Anyways, onto another Scenario Concept: In honor of my own awful sleep deprivation, I keep thinking about Atsushi not being able to sleep for some reason? Not even nightmares, it’s just One Of Those Nights. I feel like he’d be very spacey and clingy and infinitely to fall asleep in his work the next day. (Nyanon, 5/5)
REMEMBER TO TAKE YOUR MEEDSSSSSS WRITE IT DOWN- oh wait then youll forget you Wrote it down dammit. do you have anyone to remind you?? GSHJDKS also! right now as im typing this, im answering right after i came home from my math test. it went,,,Somewhere. i Answered like, all questions except three and i hope my teacher will be seduced by my beautiful doodle of a cat on the test paper and give me an E.
i also think it’s what makes their frenemy interesting!! how they just totally work well together despite their,,,Emotions?? towards each other. dazai and chuuya are my ultimate brotp because i kinda project my brotp with my best friend on them- im all cheery and say “HI BRO <333″ and my best friend irl just goes “fuck you” but they love me. i know they do. theyve Slipped Up a few times and show it in different ways layered between insults and roasts
in the hmc universe akutagawa and atsushi Definitely have a some banter here and there since theyre not on opposites ends anymore- they would banter about atsushi’s clean freakness, about akutagawa not taking enough care of himself and excusing it as “ill die soon anyways” in which now bOTH atsushi and chuuya gets mad at, their banter could also be something very pointless as “why is the potions name named yellow stone when it is pURPLE” “it’s just how it Is atsushi” “but it doesnt make any sense, name it something better” “I cant just rename stuff!” “yES YOU CAN-” “N O-”
but ofc akutagawa still cares, and atsushi still cares, especially with how he often helps atsushi up the stairs or looks at him worriedly when his back hurts from rising up the chair. atsushi cares by making sure he takes his medicine and is warm and bundled up and it’s just Sweet
also about atsushi it’s so sad he deserves the world eVERYONE DOES SMH and dazai spraying himself with catnip cologne i- GAKAHGEHEJKSDS
i was gonna suggest otome games!! but then i thought he would just like try them out of curiosity and then feel silly for even playing them so he just leaves it as that. atsushi being clingy and tired after a night of not being able to sleep?? i love it. i bet he would work so hard and then just fall asleep and kunikida might be strict but he definitely lets atsushi have his well deserved nap cus he doesnt make a habit of it unlike a certain someone
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2020
5:59pm 11.03.2020
Anson Seabra “Thats Us” on repeat
I have gone through my share of trials and tribulations over the years, yet if you would have told me that in 2020 i was going to lose close friendships, get my heart stepped on, have a breakdown and go through a scary health situation, i would have told you that you were crazy. There are no words that could have prepared me for the events that have happened to me in the last couple of months. To be honest they even shock me as i sit here thinking of them. Im in a state of disbelief, i sit here numb to the feelings that flow through me and all the events that have occurred.
Back in May my closest friend of over 15 years decided to stop talking to me. Basically i got ghosted by the one friend that i loved and cherished the most. Sophia was the one person that had been there through all the times i cried, laughed and felt depressed. I felt like i had lost a small portion of myself. Such a cowardly way to end a friendship if you ask me. No explanation as to why i wasn’t worth a conversation as to why she no longer wanted to be friends with me anymore. I felt like a rug had been pulled from under me and i was falling but just couldn’t seem to hit the ground. As time moved forward and i heard nothing from this so called friend i came to the realization that our friendship was really over. I can’t say that i took the time to cry because somewhere deep down in me i had hope that we could pick up where we left off. When people would ask me about her i simply smiled with pain deep in my soul and just told people that we didn’t talk anymore. One thing that i never did was talk ill about her. I don’t hold any grudges over her. I have nothing but good things to say about her because she held my hand through some of my darkest moments in life. For that i will always be thankful. I just wish she could have been upfront with me and given me a reason as to why she felt that our friendship was no longer worth continuing. Maybe i did do something to trigger these horrific events, but i will never know because words were never spoken to mend the situation. So i can’t sit here and pretend that im sorry because i don’t know the reasons why it all ended. With time i learned to stop wanting answers and as the months continued without a sign of slowing down i became contempt with the idea of not getting answers and i lost interest in fixing this broken friendship. Sophia has become nothing more than a memory of a beautiful time that has come and past. She will always hold a special place in my heart, but that’s it. I no longer desire to rekindle a friendship who held no value for me.
Around the same time that i was being ghosted by my friend i was beginning to fall in love for Luis, a guy that i saw potential in as a human being. For the first time in a long time i was feeling something again. If you follow my tumblr you’ll know that the last time i felt anything for a guy was for Romeo. It felt good to be liberated in a way from those feeling i had for him. It was a new beginning for me that i didn’t know how to go about it. I was tired of hiding my feeling but i was scared to tell Luis because he and i had formed a strong friendship. In the beginning of the year I literally bent over backwards for him and helped him through probably one of the toughest situations he had ever been through in his life. I thought he would take my actions and everything i did for him into consideration if i told him how i felt for him. I was tired of living in fear of expressing my feelings so i wrote him a long email telling him how i felt and how special he was to me. To be honest i had a tinny bit of hope that he would take a chance on me. I truly thought that he would see the potential in me and how willing i was to go the extra mile for him because i saw greatness in him even on his worse days. I thought that he would see that i was put in his path for a reason. Deep in my soul i wondered if Luis would see that i was one of the few people that encouraged him to become a better version of himself. Sadly it would not be meant to be. He never said he didn't love me in return, he simply said he wanted to stay friends. I thought we could have been something great together. I tried not to make things awkward between us because i was grown up enough to understand that i could still love Luis, even if it meant only being his friend. So there i was suppressing feeling for someone again. Oh yeah, and Sophia at one point had warned me that as soon as Luis was comfortable and not worried about the situation he was going through, he would set me aside because he knew how much i loved him and i would always be there regardless. Little did i know that those words would stick with me like an afterthought in the back of my head. So as time went by Luis, the man i had such a strong friendship with, and that knew i had feelings for him, started to text and call me less and less. There were nights where i wished he would call to just hang out and watch a movie and bake cookies like we use to do. I would watch his social media stories and i would see him hanging out with people that didn’t give two fucks about him. It actually made me feel worthless because i cared for his future and his well being but there is only so much you can do. As my feelings grew more and more for him i began to notice that i was the one that was always reaching out to him to hang out, to talk or simply text. I saw how he lost interest in my company so i made a decision that i knew would hurt me at first but that with time i would heal. I decided that i would no longer view his stories on social media, the less i knew about Luis the better. Also i decided that i would no longer reach out to him. I was not going to make the same mistakes i did with Romeo by giving him feelings and time he didn’t want or deserved. I came to the conclusion that Luis could care less and that i needed to be on the same page and be okay with it. So i stopped calling and texting him. It was my turn for him to miss me. Weeks would go by, even a full month before i would get a text from him just to say “hi, how are are you doing?” That was pretty much the most we really talked. It always felt like he was texting me out of boredom. I can’t lie. I truly yearned to hear from Luis at first, but as time went by i began to occupy my mind in other areas of my life that needed my attention. Areas that i had put on the back burner to please others or simply because i was busy giving so much love away that i forgot to also love myself. So i started to miss him less and less. But every so often i would come across his name in my phone or a picture and all those feelings i was working so hard to avoid would try rushing back. I learned to cry it out at night and let it go. So in the end my friendship with Luis has also dwindled into little moments full of amazing memories. Do i still love him? I would be lying if i said i don’t have feelings for him anymore. I care for him a lot and there are still nights that i stay up not being able to sleep because he’s on the back of my mind, but is it love? I think it was love at one point, but he showed me his true colors and how unimportant i am in his life. All i have for him now is good wishes. I hope he finds that happiness i know he is desperately looking for and that he learns from his mistakes to become that amazing man i know he will be one day. I hope he finds someone that is willing to love him as much as i did and is willing to ride through the sunny days as well as through his storms like i was. He actually told me recently that he met someone. I have to admit that it felt like being stabbed, not in my heart but in my soul. It hurt me to my very core and i felt a bit of jealous that this complete stranger that hadn’t put in any work or feelings into him, could simply come along and make him feel like she’s worth it and i wasn’t. But i realized that i cant force him to love me no matter what i do for him, the effort i put in or the feelings i show him. At the end of the day i want those that i love to also find a love of their own even if its not with me. As he was telling me about this girl he met i sat there looking into his eyes hoping he would not see the brokeness in mine. I smiled through my pain and his words that had shattered me inside and i wished him luck on his new relationship. That’s real love. For now, i’m okay with calling him a friend even though i wish it could have been more, but i rather have a little bit of him than none at all.
As my feelings for Luis were dwindling i began to fall into an area of sadness that i had never experienced before. In that sadness i found solace in my memories of Romeo. At first he would pop up when i felt the most sad. I would remember times where we had laughed or just shared something special. Maybe a party we both went too or a car ride where we sang at the top of our lungs to music we both liked. It was little things that came to mind. My mind would take me back to the long conversations that we shared about life in my room and in our cars, where we talked all night about hopes and dreams until the sun came up. I did not miss Romeo in a romantic way because i was still dealing with my feeling for Luis, but the more Luis ignored me the more space Romeo began to take in my mind. The more time went by i began to stop thinking of Luis at night and i began to think of Romeo. I must be clear that i missed Romeo as a person and as a friend. It got to the point where i thought about Romeo so much that i went onto his social media. There i saw a video of him singing a song that i would always request from him to sing when he would play his guitar at parties. I sat there hearing him sing this song with so much emotion that it brought tears to my eyes. I had forgotten what his voice sounded like. I had forgotten how easily i got lost in his eyes. I couldn’t help but think “why didn’t it work out between us? Why doesn't it ever work out with the person i give all my love too?” Without thinking i double-taped his video. I could have taken it back, but i wanted him to know that i saw it and that i liked it. I wanted him to know that i did not harbor any hate towards him. Yes he did break me in ways that no man had ever done before, but time had made me grow and i had learned to forgive and let go. The more time that went by the more i called Romeo with my thoughts. I honestly believe that when you manifest what you desire to the universe it grants it to you, but it’s up to us to make something of the opportunity or it will simply slip away. With that being said during this time i had my routine of going to the park and jogging and walking with a great friend of mine. One summer day as i was walking around the park from a distance i saw a man by himself bouncing a soccer ball around and i immediately knew that was Romeo. I could spot him in a crowd of a million people. I can still remember his mannerisms and the way he moved and walked. I saw him several other times after that for about two weeks but i never took the initiative to walk up to him and attempt to talk things out. The want was there, i was just afraid of the outcome. I feel like he probably wanted me to take the initiative and speak to him first, why else would he come to the park again and again knowing that’s where i worked-out. Sadly when i finally worked up the courage to talk to him he stopped coming to the park and i never saw him come back. Things have to be done in the moment. I feel like the universe was giving me a big sign to mend things between us but i threw away the opportunity. Then i started jogging at the levee so i will never know if he ever went back. Still i couldn’t stop thinking that we could mend things and start fresh, begin a new friendship. One day that i felt extra sad i sat on my bed and began to compose a letter for him. I wrote from the deepest parts of my broken soul and i literally cried the whole time i wrote. I didn’t know if he had the same number so i decided to send it through DM on IG. He never opened or read it. I guess i thought that his friendship would bring me comfort, simply because it had once before and i was in need of someone that could calm my soul and bring me peace. I knew that he was one of the only persons that could make me feel at peace. I mean i couldn’t run to my friend Luis that i had feeling for because he was too busy living his life and not including me. I mean not even a call or text to hang out. The weeks went by and my hopes began to die that Romeo would actually open my letter and at least write “fuck you” in return. I had this stupid hope that we could be friends and start all over. Who knows what it would have led to but at least we would have had a fresh start, leaving the past behind us. I guess i’m a dreamer and i wish a little too hard. If it didn’t happen it’s for a reason and with all the things that had happened to me up to that point i learned to simply let go. After weeks of waiting for him to read my DM i finally grew tired and i simply went into the DM and took my message back and deleted it. Once again i had to move on from something new. I promised myself that i would never reach out to him every again and i would never go onto his social media, and i’ve kept my promise since that day.
As life attempted to teach me self value i had another friendship that i didn’t know was hanging from a thread. My friend Mimi’s birthday was coming up and the whole month i kept asking her what her plans were. She was one of my closest friends. I loved and still love Mimi with my whole entire soul, but there are actions in life that speak louder than words. My friend had initially told me that she wanted to go to Tahoe for her birthday. I asked her to tell me with time so that i could save up for the trip. I was excited to be able to spend her big day with her. She was important to me and she knows this. As the month came to a close she told me she had no plans and that at the most she would have something small at her house. When her birthday weekend came i reached for my phone to ask her what were the plans since she hadn’t told me anything. As i opened my phone, for some strange reason it took me straight to Facebook and a video popped up. It was my friends turning up for her birthday and at first i didn’t think anything of it. I initially thought that she was celebrating at another’s friends house. In my head i thought, “hey i’ll just hit her up and i’ll get an invite.” As the video continued i notice that it was not our friends house that she was at. I also noticed that Sophia was there. I checked to see if the location had been tagged on the video and it had. They were all in Tahoe celebrating. I had been left out. That was the straw that broke the camels back for me. I was tired of being hurt by the people i loved the most. I turned off my phone and i felt this deep hurt in chest and knot in my throat. I was tired of holding so much in and i simply let it out and cried. I tried to reason as to why i was left out. I attempted to come up with scenarios as to why my very close friend would exclude me from celebrating her big day with her knowing that i was constantly telling her what the plan was for her birthday. So i came to the conclusion that she must of not known about it. Obviously her big day was planned by someone who didn’t want me there and i accepted that. What i could not understand was how did Mimi not find in her heart to text me and say, “hey i know you wanted to celebrate my bday with me but i didn't know about this surprise and i’m sorry you didn't get an invite.” Would i still have been hurt, yes. Would i have understood, yes. Yet that didn’t happen and i stayed hurt. When the day of her actual birthday came i could not bring myself to wish Mimi a happy birthday. Not because i was being petty or to prove a point but because i still felt so hurt and i knew that my birthday wishes would not have been sincere. I honestly thought she would reach out and we would talk it out. I really never thought she would stop talking to me. Sitting here and writing about this memory i cant help but cry. This one hurt a little different. After all the other things that i have gone through i started to just learn to let go. So i took the time to grieve and cry it out and i simply just let go. I don’t doubt she has people in her ear telling her that reaching out to me is not worth it. To be honest if it was that easy to throw me to the side and not care about me, i rather she never reach out. This just makes me think twice about who really is my friend. Im tired of always being the one to beg for friends and i’m tired of being the one to fix relationships. Im sorry if you feel like i’m not putting any effort into the situation, but i want to feel loved too. i want to see if i’m worth fighting for just as much as i would of been willing to fight for any of the people i have written about today. Am i worth it?
So much was happening in my life and i had so many feelings that i just didn’t know how to deal with them that i began to pick up old habits. I began to go out a lot and get plastered drunk to cope with the feelings of losing close friends. I would get drunk and flirt with guys i would meet at the club, then leave with them and hook up with these idiots i found cute at the moment. The alcohol was a way to numb the sadness i felt for losing friends and leaving with other guys was just a way to numb my feelings i felt for Luis. The drinking made me forget, even if it was for a moment. To top it off the day came when i had to get a surgery that i had been planning with my doctor for over a year. I told very few people about it. I usually put everything up on social media but this time i decided i would keep this to myself. There were risks going in and i knew that it was a delicate surgery. The week before my surgery i asked Luis to hang out and he responded by saying “Yeah ill definitely visit you before the 15th ill text you or call when i’m free lately everyone’s been needed my help.” It’s funny that every time his social media came up he was out on the boat or bike riding or hanging out with other friends. He was so “busy.” He’s the only person that i reached out to and asked to see before my surgery. Luis never made the time to come see me. That made me feel so worthless. Sophia’s words began to haunt me, “as soon as the situation that he was going through passes or gets better he’s going to set you aside.” Sophia was right, but when you like someone you put up with a lot of shit, but there is always a breaking point. The day of the surgery came. Even Mimi text me to say good luck. I responded with a thank you and i told her i loved her, she never wrote back. To be honest somewhere deep down i kinda hoped to close my eyes and never open them again. I just wanted to stop feeling everything at once. I went into the operating room asking the universe to just send me onto my next life. I laid there on the operating room table staring at the large lights that they use to operate. The doctor asked if i was ready, i just gave a sad smile, took a deep breath and closed my eyes hoping not to open them again. My surgery was suppose to take 2-3 hours. I ended up having to have two surgeries, had breathing problems while under anesthesia and i was in surgery for 10 hours. I woke up and opened my eyes, i felt no pain just some major soreness. Things felt different within me. I was wheeled to my room and my stuff was brought to me. My phone was full of messages and missed calls from actual friends that remembered i had surgery that day and they were worried as to why i wasn’t returning their text and calls. That night i decided that i would never again in my life let anyone control so much of my emotions. I promised myself to only love as much as i was loved and to only input into a relationship and friendship as much as the other person put in. I promised to make changes in myself and to slowly begin to let go of all the “friendships” that i felt did not add to my growth. It was time to match the energy others gave to me.
My recovery was faster than i expected. I had lots of soreness but no pain. The first week i needed a walker to get around. the second week i got stronger and i had my catheter taken out. On Thursday it will be three weeks since my surgery and i’m able to get out of bed myself and walk around with more ease. I can see myself healing so fast. Maybe its my new outlook on life and i cant wait to get out into the world and work on the new me. I want to build the few friendships that i have left and make them strong. I want to meet new people that want to live life and not spend it at house parties, bars and clubs. Don’t get me wrong those activities are fun but they should not be weekly thing. As for love, I don’t ever want to experience it again. I want to finish school, travel more even if it’s on my own and start having children and give them all my love.
Throughout these last months i know that i have gone through a lot, but there were also people in my life that made it bearable. I want to take the time to thank those few friends that kept checking in on me and invited me to be part of their special moments or simply call me to hang out and just talk. You all made life a bit more easy and for that i will always be thankful. It also made me realize what true friendship looks like. I love you all.
11:30pm
#2020#Memories#life#heartbreak#losses#love story#memoir#stay strong#nothing is forever#hard times#new beginnings#new blog#gay blog#gay#lgbtq blog#life moves on
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The YJHD Miraculous
Ok hi! I am from India, where Bollywood is one of the major movie industries.
Anyway. Back in 2013, There was this movie, called Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani. It’s there on Netflix, so if you wanna watch it, go ahead. You might get a inkling of the movie when you read the whole thing, so anyway.
When I last saw the movie, A few dialogues really reminded me of Adrien and Marinette’s situation and I thought up the whole thing. So here goes.
(This is going to be an incredibly long post. Please bear with me.)
Ladybug and Cat Noir are some 17-18 when they defeat Hawkmoth. Chat/Adrien, is very obviously shocked and saddened when the villian is finally unmasked. This is pre identity reveal, and they reveal their identities after the fight. They part ways after talking about everything they could, (except their feelings) and she lets him keep Plagg. Marinette is happy that her best friend is also the guy she loves, so she decides to tell him her true feelings. She waits a week, because Gabriel Agreste is awaiting trial and Emilie has gone into a deep coma. Three weeks later, when everything has cooled down, she makes her way to the Agreste mansion, only to see Adrien leave with a bag. “Adrien?” she calls out. “Oh hey Mari!” he replies. “Are you going somewhere?” “Yeah. I realised that Father didn’t let me see a lot of the world with his obsession to keep me ‘safe’ and the whole miraculous thing. So I am going on a tour. I want to see the world he wanted to shield me from. I am an adult now, so I can do as I want” He explains. Mari’s heart breaks, but she keeps a brave face, and wishes him luck. She had been hoping that his feelings for Ladybug wouldn’t change after getting to know who she was, but well.
8 years pass. Alya and Nino are getting married. It’s happening in Martinique, where the Cesaire family is from. Marinette, is obviously the Maid of Honor and Nino has been in touch with Adrien all these years, so Mr.Sunshine is his best man. They all agree to meet at the venue a week before wedding to catch up. And since Mari is designing the wedding gown, she arrives with Alya. She is meeting Adrien for the first time since he left 8 years ago, so she’s nervous. Alya and Tikki help her calm down. “Its ok girl! Adrien is going to be happy to see you!” She says. “Alya’s right, Marinette! He’s not just Adrien, he’s also your superhero partner.” Tikki tells her. She agrees with them and cools down. When the four finally meet, Adrien is surprised to see how different Mari is; more confident, bold and...beautiful.
Alya decides to show the other three around Martinique. Adrien thanks her because it was the only place in Europe he hadn’t been to. Alya decides to be the ultimate wingwoman and makes him and Mari sit together in the car. They even walk together during the sightseeing and spend the whole time together. They enjoy the tour and on the ride back, Adrien drives the car with Mari sitting in the passenger seat. The to-be bride and groom have passed out in the backseat. “You have been awfully quiet during the whole drive back to the hotel.” she says. “Huh? Oh yeah. I have been...thinking.” he says. Plagg and Tikki come out of their wielder’s bag/coat and hover in front of them. “He’s been doing that a lot.” Plagg quips. “Thinking?” Tikki asks. Plagg nods. “What are you thinking about?” Mari asks. “Home. How different things would have been if Father wasn’t Hawkmoth, or if I was not Chat Noir.” he says. She looks at him softly. Her heart was breaking for him. Adrien was so young, and had been through so much; his mother’s disappearance, his father’s arrest, the possibility that Emilie would never wake up. “They took mom off the ventilator last year. Called me to ask for permission.” Adrien explains further. “She wasn’t getting any better, so there was really no point in keeping her in the hospital. Nathalie was the only one from the family at the funeral, apparently.” He finished. He stops the car on the side of the road, gentle enough to not wake their sleeping friends. “Adrien, I am so sorry!” Mari says, and hugs him tightly. He holds her in that position, and they stay like that for five minutes.
Mari pulls away, and suddenly resigns to her seat. He wants to ask her what the matter was, but Alya wakes up. “Have we reached?” she asks. “Nope, but we are almost there.” he says and continues driving. Mari jumps out of the car as soon as the vehicle comes to a stop in front of the hotel, and runs up. All the wedding guests are already there, so the other three greet them and time flies as they are all meeting everyone. Chloe is surprisingly there with her girlfriend; someone she met while in New York. Adrien talks to them, and when the gf (I cant think of a name please help) goes to get a drink, Adrien asks her. “How did you find her? She’s incredible, and seems to tolerate you.” Chloe hits him lightly. “Sometimes, when you spend enough time with the right person, you just know. We were classmates in New York, and even worked on a project.” She explains. Adrien has an epiphany of sorts. All the time he spent with Marinette, whether it was 8 years ago as superheroes in Paris, or as themselves during the tour, it had all felt right. Just like it was meant to be. He excuses himself from Chloe and runs towards Mari’s room. He knocks on the door. “It’s open!” she calls. “Adrien!” she says when she sees him. “Hey! You aren’t going to meet everyone?” he asks. “Oh no, I have to work on...Alya’s wedding gown.” she lies. “Alya told me you were done with it long ago.” he counters. “Are you all right? You seem pretty out of it since we got back.” “Oh yeah. I am fine.” Tikki flies up from her seat on the table. “She’s not fine at all, Adrien. She’s been upset for the past five hours.” she says. “Tikkiiiii!” Mari scolds. “What? It’s the truth.”
“Upset? About what?” Plagg flies out and settles beside the ladybug kwami. “Nothing, Absolutely nothing. I am fine.” Mari denies, while facing the window. “You are lying, Mari. You have always done this; hiding your true feelings from everyone.” Adrien points out. “Oh what do you care about feelings? You gave up on your love for ladybug as soon as you found out it was me.” she bursts. Then she calms down, “I am sorry Adrien. I shouldn’t have said that. I better go down to meet everyone.” she turns to go. “What do you mean?” he stops her. “What’s the matter Mari? You have been avoiding me since we got back.” he asks. “I haven’t.” she lies again. “Yes.” “No” “Yes.” “FINE, yes. I have been avoiding you. Because I cant stay with you any longer.” she says. “What?” “Adrien. why dont you get it? If I stay here with you any longer then...I will fall in love with you, again. But you won’t, again.” she rants. As she is about to open her mouth to say more, he silences her with a soft kiss. She melts into it, and a few minutes later. he pulls away and rests his head against hers. “I never stopped loving you, My Lady.” he says. “The eight years that I spent away from Paris, from you, I have missed you so much.” he says. “Remember when I said, that I have been thinking about home? I want to come back. Enough of seeing the world. I want to be with the girl I have loved for so long.” he says. He kisses her again, and this time, it lasts much longer.
An hour later, they go down to meet everyone and for dinner. No one says anything much when they see Adrien and Marinette holding hands. Alya smiles and nods at her best friend. Nino gives Adrien a fist bump through the air. No one sees Alix handing Kim a 20 euro note, grumbling slowly.
Ok so, the actual movie ended very differently. VERY DIFFERENTLY. I had to change some parts of it to fit into the Miraculous storyline. But here it is.
I finally wrote it! It was in the back of my head for so long and its finally here!! Oh god! Wow! Enjoy! Please tell me how it was. (Except the fact that it was an excruciatingly long read. I know that, please and thank you)
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How to write an essay you could not care less about in 10 steps
Hello. I have an essay to write.
I am also, (unfortunately) the kind of lazy, apathetic burnout who will only do my FUCKING work if I get really worked up. Usually that ends up meaning all of my papers are spite-fuelled tirades but my profs seem to like them so fine. I hope you find this particular raging tirade useful.
Today, I would like to educate the 4 of you that will actually see this on a fine art I have perfected over the years. Writing a paper, about which, you do not give a single, solitary, crumb of a fuck about. This is (you may have guessed) and excellent way for me to procrastinate doing a paper that *I* do not give a single solitary crumb of a fuck about. For best results, I recommend doing this NIGHT-BEFORE-PANIC like, a week in advance so you can fix all the NONSENSE that your more reasonable brain will undoubtedly find. But if it’s the night before and you are shit outta luck, this will get ‘er done. And with practice, you can even pull good grades outta these bitches.
Dissociating? I gotchu. Woke up the day of the deadline to feel like absolute utter garbage? Search no more friends.
FAILING GRADES ARE BETTER THAN ZEROS JUST FUCKIN DOOOOOO ITTTT
1. Go get the prompt.
I fucking mean it. Even if you are like 1000% sure you know what the prompt is asking, go to the FUCKING assignment, and copy that shit into your word document. Got the assignment on paper? TYPE THAT SHIT UP MOTHERFUCKER.
(Do you see what I fucking have to deal with)
Boom?
BOOM.
Congratulations, you now have a document, and whats more, there are WORDS in it!! You aren’t starting from scratch anymore kiddo. Fringe benefit, you always know EXACTLY what the assignment wants because its fucking Staring You Down. Not saying you have to do exactly as it says, mama didn’t raise no BITCH and I aint scared of fuckin CALLING PROFS OUT but if you wanna break the rules you gotta know what they are first
(Disclaimer: I have also been kicked out of class on numerous occasions for fighting with the prof and had full classes where the lecture WAS me arguing so maybe take my opinions of conformity with a grain of salt.)
2. Math THE FIRST
I know, this is an essay and not a fucking calculus test. But some of this shit is USEFUL OKAY
Take the paper in question. How long does it have to be? Mine is 5 pages. A page is generally accepted to be 250 words (double spaced because we FUCKING LOVE OURSELVES) so 5 x 250 = 1250 wds. That’s the goal. That’s the pinnacle. That’s your new holy grail.
Time to split this bitch up
3. Yarrrrrr, CONTENT
And finally, we get to the part that is the reason why you are being an absolute bitch baby about this essay (maybe. I might be projecting. Your life is your life and im sure youre doing your best.) I Hate this part, but now with our magic number we don’t need to pull 5 pages out of the ether.
This part really requires you to know your vibe. Is this something that you have a lot of little opinions (read: evidence) about or like, only 2 or 3 big bois? Look deep into your soul and figure out which is the easiest for you to shit out, a rant or a list. a great way to do this is to WRITE ANYTHING YOU GOT OUT
Here you can see I’ve put all of the thoughts I have about the question into a list, slapped some standard “opening” and “closing” shit around it so I can FUCKING FIND IT AGAIN and given it a good hard look. Whats the common thread in all of my opinions? That the prompt is fucking stupid and makes no sense is asking 2 different questions. Congratulations: you found your thesis. This essay, like many of my essays, bears the thesis “this is a weird question to be asking” (which falls under my broader category of “bitches aint shit” essays.)
Congratulations you have the bare bones of your skeleton.
4. MATH THE SECOND
The magic number returns. All hail our glorious leader. 1250 right?
So heres how I break this down. Break off a small chunk at the beginning. For this essay im gonna split off the 250. Split that baby in half. Congratulations, now you have a word count on your opening and closing. Personally, I know I like a lil extra space at the end to get all ranty, so Imma split this puppy up 100 for my opening and 150 for the closing. WARNING: You will think that you will be able to write enough in your opening and closing to take up lots of space. You will feel the urge to give them both the same amount of words that you give your points. This is misguided and foolish. Not only will you 1) not be able to do it but 2) even if you did, that’s like getting a sandwich which is all bread. No one wants that. Don’t be that dude. Fight the urge.
RIGHT SO. We’re still left on the other 1000 words.
If you have an idea that like, is bigger than the others, go ahead and give that puppy more of the word count than the others, fractions are your friend here and you wanna think about how much of your final product each of these babies will be. If you, like me, are an utter buffoon with no clue what youre doing, open your calculator up. Divide the remaining word count by the number of points you have. Congratulations. Youre doing the essaying.
If this is enough to get you started, GREAT! See you at step seven. BEFORE YOU GO I would like to give you this tip
5. CITE YOUR INFORMATION AS YOU ADD IT IN.
It doesn’t need to be a full citation, just literally a footnote with something that will help you remember where its from and for the love of god WHAT PAGE IT IS ON. The you of 3 hours from now will thank you.
6. Filling in the skeleton
I don’t know about you, but I cant exactly riff off of a single sentence. Like, I know what the VIBE of my point is, but like, I cant pull it out of a hat. The name of the game here is whittling down your arguments into thinner and thinner chunks that are easier and easier to bullshit. This is how you avoid that “burning building found in flames during Brooklyn fire” bullshit that memes. You don’t wanna meme. You wanna pass. So, figure out what the things you are gonna say and in each bit, keep track of how many words you are gonna write. EITHER
a) You put how many words you think you can write on any point beside the point as you go and just keep developing points and shuffling word counts around until it matches the total for that section
or
b) You evenly breakup the word count between all the points and keep breaking them down until you look at a subject and a word count and go “yeah that’s doable. I can do that.”
I prefer the second so LEGGO.
Ta-Da!
7. Write ‘er up
Ahhh glad to see we’re all back together again. Try-hards who can ACTUALLY bullshit papers, glad to see you’ve rejoined us! This is the part where you take all that shit you’ve broken up into nice little chunks and you turn it into something worth reading. You can do it. I believe in you. Try and keep your citations in place.
I like to do this as a question answer thingy, like an exam, so halfway through writing mine is gonna look like this
The handy part about the numbers is that it gives you a frame of reference for how your bullshit is going. Realized you had a lot more to say here than you thought? Dope! Less bullshit somewhere else, take it out of a weaker point. This point didn’t give as much as you thought it would? Split the difference elsewhere! This way you have checkpoints and you can see how your essay is going
And then you can go ahead and delete your skeleton work. Its time. Its served you well. For extra drama, whisper menacing nothings to it as you send it into the darkness. Personal favourites include “no one will mourn you,” “your fate belongs to me,” and “so this is what you have come to”
8. Citations
Theres like a million ways out there to find out how to do your citations and its gonna depend on what kind of a paper you are writing. I use Chicago most of the time, including here. My advice? Use a site like, bib.me or something to do your bibliography, and then plaster that in the bottom of your document. Use that as the building blocks to do your footnotes. Let Purdue Owl be your guide. Purdue Owl Style Guide Is A Mighty Friend Indeed.
Also your welcome for that, “putting the page numbers in as you put the info in” shit. That took me alarmingly long to figure out. It’s a wonder theyre giving me a degree.
9. Proofread that shit, ya bougie bitch.
If you wanna be time effective, getting a friend to proofread while you do your citations is a great way to go. If you have a few days, put your paper away and come back to it. If you are out of friends and time then https://www.paperrater.com/ is your last hope.
10. Slap a title page on that shit and GET IT SUBMITTED
No joke, I have been using the same template for a coverpage all through highschool and my undergrad. There is only one title page and every time I write an essay I take the title page from the last paper I wrote. There is no beginning. Only title page. Title? Topic of paper: point of paper. For example, If I had to title this screed I’d call it Essay Writing: An exploration of mediocrity. slap the date and your name and the course and instructor on there and BAM. YA DONE.
Anyway submit that shit an go to bed youre done goodnight
EPILOGUE
I’ve gotten this essay back, and when I wrote it, I was barely a human being. Barely capable of human speech let alone a coherent argument. I would forget the end of the sentence by the time I typed out the beginning. But I still for a 70%! is it the best mark I’ve ever gotten? no! but it is a hell of a lot better than the 0% I would have gotten if i hadnt done this. I get it. And i hope this helps.
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