#i work better with deadlines i think. does NOT help the stress would NOT recommend
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Monday, got up around 8:25, took a shower (I have to go into town today), got my period (yay), still awaiting responses from both my thesis advisor and the doctor (bit odd honestly that I haven't heard anything yet), it's now 10:20 and I'm making myself a late breakfast/early lunch...
Eat something [had a nice warm meal, trying to ignore the stress of not knowing]
Research how dopamine works (and the ways it might not) [oh boy - this explains so fucking much! Guys, I think I "just" have too low dopamine:
struggles to find enjoyment in things (I don't really have any favourite shows, music, books or anything like that that I consume regularly - only novelty seems to trigger enjoyment)
positive experiences never quite seem to get logged in memory (there are so many times, when my family has talked of previous holidays or other special moments, where I can't even recognise the event - it's just gone, as if I had never been present)
general low mood and disinterest in life, tendency towards depression, have no sex-drive (I doubt dopamine deficiency causes asexuality, but maybe it's related)
easily addicted to food, sugar and entertainment (thankfully I've never gotten into anything worse than that, mostly because I'm not a party person)
excessive use of daydreaming and escapist activities
sleeps too much, is overweight, constantly having low energy even though I'm physically fine
oh, and of course, CANNOT MOTIVATE MYSELF TO DO ANYTHING!
I don't think low dopamine explains everything about me, but most of the traits that are actively causing me trouble are on that list above, and they've pretty much been present since childhood... Gods, I fucking hope my doctor is willing to look into this]
Take the bus into town (to the university library) [first got around to that some time past 14, then sat and read more about dopamine, but I think I'm ready to go do the thing I'm actually here for now, 17:34]
Go through the avaible books and note if and what they might be useful for [rushed through this because I'd spent so much time on research and the library closes at 18 - the security guard was kind of peeved with me since I was the last to go - but I at least skimmed the five books (one of them was amazing!) and took some (very) brief notes]
Beyond that I don't think I quite know what to do [I walked home to help clear my head and make sense of everything (I've learned so much today), it's now 19:55 and I'm gonna make myself a snack and play some Heroes I think]
[PS. I did eventually hear back from people: the doctor wrote "This is more than we can help with over mail" and asked me to book a time, as expected. My thesis advisor tried to be understanding and gave me the advice to "not worry about the final grade" and "just writing anything is better than nothing"... argh! That's litterally what I'm trying to do! We've even had this discusion before - I don't care about my grade, I don't worry about failing (in that way) or my assignment not being "good enough", those are not thoughts that are stopping me. But I guess she doesn't really have any other basis for understanding my fucked up situation, so it's the best she got - I mean, I know it comes from a place of kindness, even if it's utterly unhelpful.
Looking forward, it looks like I've got to: 1) make a doctor's appointment (I wrote back and asked the lady who she would recommend that I book a time with or if I should wait the extra time until my regular doctor comes back, which I'm awaiting a response to - either way it's at least three weeks before the first possible date),
2) keep working on my thesis in whatever capacity I can (handing in what I've got to my thesis advisor every friday as previously planned - these artificial deadlines does help me keep accountable and focused on just one segment of the thesis at a time),
3) document everything! (really trying to focus on how I'm reacting and what my triggers are, including what kind of workload is actually realistic, so that I can bring that to my future doctor's appointment),
4) I'm most likely going to need (yet another) extension, which means getting a doctor's note and sending in a formal request (and hoping for the best) - ideally I would have a meeting with a student councelor first, but it's a bit dificult to argue for an extention due to dopamine deficiency and anxiety, when I haven't had a chat with my doctor yet... argh! Anyway, I should book that too, at least to get advice on the correct wording of things for both the note and the request.
PPS. I did actually mention (some of) all this to my mom today - she called about something else and asked how it was going, and I was goddamn brave and admitted that it wasn't. I'm kind of proud of that - it didn't necessarily feel good, but it's one less stressor to think about now.]
#today's to do#plan for the day#neurodivergent#still trying to figure this out#but i also need to keep chipping away at my school work in whatever way i can#executive dysfunction#autistic inertia#aaargh#gosh i write a lot
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if everything could ever feel this real forever
word count: 4.3k
warnings: explicit!fem reader, cursing, alcohol consumption, allusion to sexual content (nothing explicit but minors please be aware!)
recommended listening: everlong | foo fighters
a/n: broke down and wrote for ratty matty. alternalty titled four times matthew thinks you’re the one and one time he knows (4+1′s are fun to write, pls don’t fight me). also pls ignore the fact i don’t know how airports work, i’ve only ever flown domestically lmao
Matthew feels different when you’re around.
You don’t turn him into a completely different person. He’s still himself – an absolute pest at times – but more genuine. With you he can feel everything deeply, say whatever’s on his mind without the fear of being judged. It’s the best kind of different, and he wouldn’t change it for the world. His teammates constantly ask him when he’s going to lock you down; put a ring on your finger and change your last name, but he needs to be sure before he makes such a big commitment.
one
It’s the beginning of July, and you’re sweating buckets in the back of an Uber. The driver has the air cranked, but nothing seems to alleviate the heat. You know it will be worse in St. Louis so you do your best not to complain, but it’s hard. Taking two weeks off to visit your boyfriend in his hometown sounded like a great idea, but reading the weather forecast has you re-evaluating the trip.
Your phone lights up in your lap, and you eagerly unlock it. It’s a text from Matthew. Have a safe flight. Text me when you land. Tayrn will be there to pick you up – Brady and I’s on-ice got extended. I’ll see you when I get home. Love you.
Though you wish he could be the first person you see when you touch down, you understand that his job comes first. Besides, your re-unification will be more private this way. I get to see the best Tkachuk first, fuck yeah you reply, before following it up with Love you too Matty. See you soon.
Soon after sending the text you arrive at the entrance of Calgary International Airport. With a polite thank you to your driver, you grab your suitcase and head inside. The working air conditioning answers your silent prayers and you feel your body slowly return to a normal temperature. Check in is fast, and before you know it you’re breezing through security. A slightly nervous traveller, you’re at the gate earlier than you need to be. The plane doesn’t take off for another two hours. You don’t mind the wait, listening to a couple of podcast episodes and grabbing a snack at the lounge before boarding.
The five hour flight passes in the blink of an eye. St. Louis is busier than Calgary, and it takes you longer than you thought it would to get through customs. Once passed immigration and at the baggage carousel you let Matthew know you’re safely inside the city limits. You grab your obnoxious suitcase – a bright red thing with a giant Flames logo that Matthew thought would be funny to give you – and set out to find Tayrn. She’s easy to spot, waving a giant poster with your name on it. Abandoning nearly all airport etiquette, you rush through the crowd to see her. Over the years she’s become a little sister and close friend, and you really wish you could see her more frequently.
“Y/N!” Taryn squeals as you wrap your arms around her. The pair of you embrace for another moment or two before making your way to her car. Neither of you can stop talking, so excited to be in each other’s presence.
“It’s so nice to be back,” you sigh. “I really do like St. Louis.”
Tayrn giggles. “You’re just excited to see Matthew.”
Though she isn’t wrong, you swat her bicep in faux annoyance. “What? Can a girl not enjoy a nice Midwestern city?” You push your sunglasses up onto the bridge of your nose before continuing. “Besides, I only came here to see you. I see enough of Matt at home.”
She rolls her eyes but extends her arm so you can fist bump her. With a quick look to make sure the way is clear, Taryn exits the parking spot and heads in the direction of your temporary home. The open sunroof allows the wind to whip through your hair and you struggle to tame it enough to put it in a ponytail. One Direction blasts from the stereo, and you join Taryn in screaming the lyrics until your lungs hurt. Being on vacation, even if it’s only to St. Louis, is so freeing. You don’t have to deal with work deadlines or friendship drama. All that matters is spending time with Matthew.
When you pull into the Tkachuk’s driveway it’s empty. It’s Thursday afternoon; Chantal’s at work, Keith is golfing with friends, and the boys are at the rink. You take a few minutes to unpack, filling Matthew’s drawers with your clothes, before joining Taryn by the pool. St. Louis is just as hot as the city you left, and the travel has left you feeling below average. A quick swim is sure to be the perfect remedy.
The water is the right kind of cool, and alleviates any stress you were possibly feeling. You’re properly in vacation mode now, lounging on pool floaties and gossiping with Taryn. An hour later when Matthew returns home you’re in basically the same position. Stepping out into the yard he sees you urging Taryn to turn around so you can place sunscreen onto the one spot she missed, laughing all the while at some ridiculous celebrity rumor she’s telling you. Seeing you get along so easy with his sister, and the rest of his family, makes his heart swell.
In the couple of months you’ve been separated, Matthew’s thought a lot about his future. Specifically about his future with you. When he closes his eyes he can see it clearly: the two of you married with children and a dog, living in a house in the mountains and loving life. It’s idyllic, and even though he knows you’d say yes if he asked you, Matthew still can’t bring himself to do it. There’s something in the back of his brain telling him to wait until he knows with absolute certainty that you’re it for him.
Not wanting to be separated from you for a minute more, he snaps out of his daze and scurries over. Wrapping his arms tightly around your waist and pressing a kiss to the base of neck, he relishes in how you mould to him immediately, not even questioning who it was.
“Welcome back baby,” Matthew mumbles into your skin.
With a chuckle you wriggle slightly in his grasp, allowing yourself to face him. You press a kiss to his lips and it feels like heaven. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, you suppose, because you could stand here kissing Matthew your the rest of your life and be happy.
“Hi Matty,” you giggle against his lips, parting from him only to rest your forehead on his and twist a curl around your finger.
From somewhere inside the house you hear Brady yell, “Jesus Christ, you two, get a room.”
Without taking his eyes off you, Matthew replies, “Fuck off Brady!”
two
The energy inside the Saddledome is electric. It’s the Flames’ first home game in nearly a week, doing an east coast road trip and sweeping every team they faced. Six games later the team is on a nine game winning streaking and are hoping to keep it going. You know how much it matters in this moment – the playoffs are fast approaching and all points they can tally up are needed.
You had decided months ago to buy rinkside tickets for this game, planning to surprise Matthew. He loves when you sit in the regular crowd, cheering and spilling your beer like any old fan. It’s humbling for the both of you, and honestly you enjoy it. Though you love those in the Better Halves box, you were a hockey fan before dating Matthew and sometimes like to enjoy games by yourself. Plus, your friend was supposed to be in town and join you at the game, and you figured she’d like to experience how insane the area is firsthand.
So you do your best to quickly shimmy around those blocking your seat, beverage in hand. It was all you could do to get to the rink on time, sitting in the dense downtown traffic for nearly three quarters of an hour after rushing out of work. You wanted to make it before warmups started to make sure Matt knows you’re there supporting him. No one really bats an eye at you, which you’re thankful for. In no way are you notorious, but it wouldn’t take a die-hard fan long to recognize you. Sitting down and letting a soft sigh escape your lips, you carefully place your jacket over the seat beside you. At the last minute your friend had to cancel her trip to Calgary, leaving you solo. With a quick look at the clock you see that warm up will start in just under a minute. The players begin to step onto the ice as you sip your beer. Matthew is yet to notice you but you don’t take offence. He’s in the zone and most likely won’t realize you’re sitting right in front of him until halfway through the third period.
“Look daddy, it’s Matthew Tkachuk!” you hear a young boy shriek in excitement. “He’s so fast, I want to play just like him.”
You turn to look and see two rows above you there’s a father and son, who looks around eight. He’s wearing a jersey identical to yours, and from the sounds of his excited chattering it’s his first game. Seeing the young boy so happy to be here, to see your boyfriend, has your heart swelling. You want to make this a game he’ll never forget.
“Hi,” you smile at the father. “I don’t mean to intrude, but I know Matthew quite well. Would you like me to get his attention so your son could meet him?”
A shocked expression makes its way onto the dad’s face, but he doesn’t react negatively. “You’d do that?” he asks. “Riley loves Matthew. Wants to be just like him.” When you nod, he lets you approach the boy.
“Hey there Riley, I’m Y/N,” you say, smiling and extending a hand to him. “I’m a special friend of Matthew’s. Would you like to meet him?”
The boy looks at his father tentatively, and only once he nods encouragingly does Riley respond to your question. “Yes please.”
“Why don’t you come down here with me and we’ll get his attention?”
With a little help from you, Riley climbs over the seats and plops unceremoniously beside you. You help him straighten out his jersey before beginning a conversation. He tells you he plays in a local youth league and wants to make it to the NHL one day. When prompted, you explain to him that you work a boring office job that you love even though it makes you angry sometimes. It’s all very formal, but after cracking a few jokes you get him to loosen up.
Matthew, still not having noticed you, begins to skate along the boards in your direction. “Watch this,” you whisper-yell to your newfound friend, “I bet he’ll jump super high.”
As soon as Matthew passes your spot you bang on the glass and scream his name. Sure enough, his skates lift a good three inches of the ice and he shrieks. Teammates around him laugh and the look on his face is priceless when he discovers you’re the culprit.
“Babe!”
You smile. “Matty, this is my new friend Riley. He wears number nineteen just like you!” A glance at the boy lets you know he’s starstruck, and your eyes lock with Matthew’s.
He leans down and rests his hands on his knees, at eye level with the child. “Hi Riley,” he begins. “I’m Matt. I like your jersey.”
After that, Riley’s a tap that won’t turn off. He details every bit of his day to Matt, and even though their voices are muffled a bit from the glass they get on like two peas in a pod. Matthew is great with children and doesn’t shy away from having legitimate conversations with them. He talks to them like they’re people, which is something you admire about him. The warmup time runs out, but before he heads back to the dressing room Matthew hoists his stick over the glass, giving it to Riley. The younger boy beams and waves goodbye. You blow Matthew a kiss, which he gladly returns, and turn your attention away from him as his figure retreats.
“Is he your boyfriend?”The question makes you laugh.
“Is it that obvious?” you ask, to which Riley just shrugs.
“He called you ‘babe’, and my mommy calls my dad that. That means you’re in love,” he says as though it’s the most obvious thing in the entire world.
Matthew cannot pay attention in the locker room for the life of him. He’s trying really hard to listen to everyone’s hype speeches, but his mind keeps wandering back to the interaction you shared during warm up. You looked so happy watching him interact with the boy you found god knows where within the arena. It’s then he realizes he wants to watch you act like that for the rest of his life. He wants to see you bring excited children to meet him because you have the power to make their nights. His suspicion is confirmed when he steps onto the ice and looks in your direction, finding you and Riley pressed up against the glass cheering loudly.
three
The Giordano’s are hosting an end-of-season barbeque before everyone scatters into the wind, and you’re going to be late. No matter how much you reminded Matthew of what time you had to leave he still started getting ready as you were finishing up. This typically wouldn’t be a big deal, but he has recently started taking care of his curls, and the routine eats up a lot more time than he anticipates.
“Matty, are you almost ready? There’s going to be no parking!”
His footsteps echo off the hardwood floor as he comes towards you. “That’s what you’re worrying about, baby? Parking?” Matthew laughs, pulling you into his side and kissing the crown of your head.
“Yeah Matt, I am. You know I have parking anxiety.”
“I’ll drive then,” he says sweetly. “Besides, it’s been a while since I’ve driven us. Have some fun tonight.”
The short drive across town is full of laughter. Neither of you are great singers, but it doesn’t stop you from belting out lyrics at the top of your lungs. At some point Matthew breaks out a rather terrible impression of Axl Rose and you just have to post it to your instagram story. Captioning with a simple microphone emoji, you slip your phone back into your sweater pocket. Though most certainly warm enough to spend the entire evening outside, Calgary currently has a bit of a proclivity for wind, and you’d rather be prepared. Outside of Mark and Lauren’s house Matthew finds a spot and parallel parks with ease.
“Shut up,” you mumble, poking your tongue out at him.
Matthew ruffles your hair in retaliation before jumping out of the vehicle, booking it around to the other side so he can open your door. He isn’t slick about hiding his intentions, grabbing a handful off your ass before leaning down to kiss you. Though you’d much rather stand in the cul-de-sac and make out with your boyfriend, you both have appearances to keep up. You get him to stop being a pest kong enough that you can enter the party and pass him off to his teammates.
You congregate with some of the other girls in the corner of the yard, and enjoy a drink while the sun sets. It’s fun to gossip with them, to catch up one final time before most of them leave. You’ll be staying in Calgary, job tying you down for the foreseeable future. The only thing that’s better than spending time with your friends is glancing at Matthew from across the space.
He’s enjoying himself, glass of water in hand. When he offered to be the designated driver he was serious, and he took the shit the boys were giving him in stride. Though you’ve only had one gin and tonic and can’t feel the effects of the alcohol, you’re glad he’s staying true to his word. The heightened water intake makes his skin glow, and you’re having a hard time staying focussed on the story Lauren is telling. He catches you staring and shoots you a dazzling smile. Tired of keeping your distance, you excuse yourself from the conversation and saunter over to your boyfriend.
“Hey Y/N,” Noah says breezily, raising his glass to you in mock salute. You wrap your arms tightly around Matthew’s waist.
“Hanifin,” you smile. “I’m really sorry to do this, but I need to pull Matt away for a quick second.”
No one in the group is the least bit surprised. The two of you have a reputation for being young and in love, sneaking off often and doing everything that entails. Once the two of you are alone you rest a hand on his chest, dangerously close to the button of his shirt. You then move kissing along the underside of his jaw, pressing your body closer to his to ensure he gets the point.
“Needy baby?” Matthew tries to smirk, but his voice wavers when you reach the junction of his jawbone and earlobe.
Declining to speak, you continue your actions until he’s just as desperate to get home as you. Though you try to be sneaky as you exit through the back gate, you won’t be surprised if you wake up to a few crude text messages. You’re too far gone to care, solely focussed on showing your boyfriend how much you love him.
The entire ride home Matthew can barely focus on the road. Not because you’re doing anything particularly risqué, a few too many close calls have put you both off of initiating things in the car, but because he doesn’t ever want to stop sneaking away from events with you. It’s exhilarating in more ways than one, and he hopes the feeling never goes away. Being with you, his best friend, is something he wouldn’t trade for the entire world. So what if he gets chirped by the boys for having precariously placed marks on his back.
four
September brings a chill to Calgary, but you couldn’t feel warmer. Matthew is due home this afternoon after nearly four months of being away. Of course you visited him in St. Louis, and he even flew back to the city once, but the two of you were mostly separated. Your shared apartment felt cold and lonely without him to annoy you, so you had spent as much time away from it as possible. No longer do you have to fall asleep with Matt’s side of the bed stone cold.
Though you know he likely won’t care, you’re nervous about the new decor. In an effort to make yourself feel better in Matthew’s absence, you completed some home renovations. Most are superficial, like a new sectional and an ungraded home speaker system, but you had redone the entire kitchen after scrolling through pinterest. The cabinets are a bright yellow, and the walls are a warm cream. Subway tile has also replaced the previous backsplash. You’re quite proud of the way it looks – doing pretty much all of it yourself and only calling your dad when you really needed help.
You spend much of the morning not doing anything productive, pacing the hallway back and forth. It’s nerve wracking and exciting to have Matthew home. Things will go much smoother with his presence even if he can sometimes be the most annoying person on the planet. You force yourself to eat a small meal before continuing to wear holes into your floor. He’ll arrive in a matter of minutes, and you’re practically vibrating with how much your legs are shaking.
A key twists in the lock, as though it’s a Pavlovian response, you bound towards the front door. Not even letting him step over the threshold you wrap yourself around him as tightly as possible. Matthew giggles sweetly, and you swear it’s the best sound you’ve ever heard. Tears flow freely down your cheeks and soak through his shirt. In a very ungraceful waddle Matthew carries the both of you inside your home and shuts the door lightly.
“What’s the matter, Y/N?” Matt asks, obviously concerned because this is more emotional than any homecoming you’ve ever had.
Through hiccupping sobs, you stutter out, “I painted the kitchen cabinets yellow and you’re going to hate them. And then you’ll want to break up with me but I won’t be able to take them with me.”
“Woah woah woah, slow down baby,” he soothes, rubbing circles on your back. “Why am I going to hate it?”
When you can’t come up with a justifiable answer, he knows your anxiety just got the better of you. Repositioning you slightly so you’re tucked into his side, Matthew walks through the apartment to see the kitchen for himself. He’s blown away by its beauty, and he can see just how much work you put into it. The room is so much brighter and inviting – he can’t imagine having any other kitchen now.
Once you ramble off an apology for being so dramatic that he won’t accept, the two of you settle into the couch and start a reality television marathon. It’s a tradition that both of you take very seriously, and though he’d never admit it to anyone but you, Matthew looks forward to watching the outlandish dramas. The night is quiet, with you getting through quite a few seasons of Desperate Housewives, and at some point you fall asleep on Matthew’s chest. He knows he should gently move you off of him, start to unpack his bags, but he can’t tear himself away.
He can’t help but stare as you snore softly. There’s nothing Matthew would like more than to spend the rest of his life relaxing after coming home to you. If he’s being completely honest, St. Louis doesn’t feel like home as much anymore, and he finds himself counting down the days until he can return to Calgary. Matt supposes you’re the defining factor, and even Antarctica would feel like home to him if you were there. He never wants to lose that feeling.
+ one
There’s ten seconds left on the clock. Ten seconds until the Calgary Flames will become Stanley Cup champions. You’re holding your breath – you know a lot could happen in such a short amount of time. The lead isn’t as wide as you’d like it to be, only one, and you squeeze Taryn’s hand tightly. Everyone in the friends and family box is just as amped up as you. If the choice had been yours, you’d be sitting in the stands of the Saddledome, but in event the Flames win you need to be with everyone else if you want to join the team on the ice.
Matthew carries the puck up the ice, and you audibly gasp. At the last second, a Bruins defenseman is blocking his view of the net. Not letting the scoring opportunity go for his team, he snaps a pass backwards to Elias Lindholm. A nano-second later the puck is in the back of the net. You possibly scream the loudest of anyone in the box, jumping into Brady’s arms excitedly.
“Holy shit, they’re going to do it,” you whisper, and Brady nods enthusiastically. The clock now only has two seconds, and there is virtually no way the Bruins can make a comeback.
You untangle yourself from your boyfriend’s brother and approach his parents. “How exciting is this!” Chantal gushes.
“So fucking exciting,” you say honestly. “Listen, I want to talk to you about something.”
The Bruins’ head coach is halfway through his timeout, so you have to talk fast. You explain that you want to hang back while the family celebrates with their son and brother. Keith and Chantal try to argue, but you insist. You want them to be the first people to greet him as a Stanley Cup champion.
A horn signals the return to play, and you return your attention to the ice pad below you. Everything seems to move in slow motion; all you remember is the final whistle being blown and getting crushed in a group hug by everyone else in the room. Your voice goes hoarse from screaming, and tears stream freely down your face.
The party continues for a short time in the box, but then you’re being led through the arena and out onto the ice. Nodding in the direction of Matthew, you urge the Tkachuks to greet him. You congratulate other members of the team, snapping candid pictures of everyone to share in the group chat later. So many families will treasure the photos that you can’t bring yourself to stop, trying your hardest to grab everyone.
Once enough time has passed for Matthew to properly be congratulated by his family, you make your way towards him. Wasting no time, he skates over and lifts you off your feet. Your lips meet his in a passionate kiss, and if you weren’t so proud you’d have reservations about sticking your tongue down Matthew’s throat in a packed arena.
“I’m so proud of you,” you whisper against his lips. “My champion.”
Matthew blushes profusely at your words, and you can tell he likes them. “Couldn’t have done it without you supporting me,” he responds, leaning into your touch as you rake your fingers through his hair.
While you celebrate with the rest of the team, holding babies and snapping pictures, Matthew realizes he can’t live without you. No one else will fit into his life as perfectly as you. There’s no one he wants besides you. Matthew makes a mental note to go through your jewelry box in the morning to get your ring size. His mom always said he’d know when someone was ‘the one’, and now he understands what she meant.
☼ ☼ ☼ ☼
taglist: @jamiedrysdales @kiedhara @tortito @brokeninsidebutnobodyknows if you want to be added shoot me an ask :)
#the sections got shorter and short lmao#oh well#matthew tkachuk imagine#matthew tkachuk x reader#matthew tkachuk fic#calgary flames imagine#hockey imagine#hockey fic#nhl imagine#nhl fic#cwrites
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What are some effective waya to become more productive?
what are some effective ways 2 be productive?
First things first, figure out what the problem actually is. Why are you struggling to be productive? Is it because you're a perfectionist and the idea of not doing the task perfectly stresses you out? Is it because you're lacking the motivation to do anything? Is it because you're struggling to concentrate, or because you're overwhelmed by the task, or because you don't know where to begin? There are tons of reasons why you might be struggling with productivity, and figuring out what the roadblocks you're encountering are can help you to find ways around them. Since I can't read your mind, I'm going to try and give advice that will work for most of the roadblocks you might encounter.
When it comes to big things, I recommend using the SMARTER & WOOP methods. SMARTER and WOOP are two tools that are really useful for behavior modification and other long-term goals you might have.
SMART(ER) is a tool to help you set the right goals for you. Too often, we set goals like “I’m going to start exercising” or “I’m going to quit going on my phone”. Those are great in theory, but without an action plan, it’s easy to not follow through.
SMARTER goals are ones that are:
Specific (simple, sensible, significant).
If your goal isn’t specific, you won’t be able to focus your efforts or feel motivated to achieve it.
Try to answer: what do I want to accomplish? Why is this goal important? Who is involved? Where is it located? Which resources or limits are involved?
Measurable (meaningful, motivating).
Having measurable goals is important because it allows you to track your progress and stay motivated by seeing how far you’ve come.
A measurable goal should be one that answers “how much”, “how many” and “how will I know when it’s accomplished”?
Achievable (agreed, attainable).
Your goal needs to be realistic in order for you to stay motivated and be successful. If you’re aiming too high, you’ll become demotivated quickly because it doesn’t feel like you’re making progress.
An achievable goal requires you to ask “how can I accomplish this goal” and “how realistic is this goal based on other constraints?”
Relevant (reasonable, realistic and resourced, results-based).
Relevant goals are ones that matter to you. Make sure that these goals are ones that are important to you, not ones that you think you should be pursuing.
A relevant goal is one that can answer “yes” to the following questions: “does this seem worthwhile?”, “is this the right time?”, “does this match my other efforts/needs?”, “is it applicable in my current socio-economic environment?”
Time bound (time-based, time limited, time/cost limited, timely, time-sensitive).
Every goal needs a target date so that you have a deadline you can focus on and work toward.
A time sensitive goal is one that answers “when?”, “what can I do six months from now?”, “what can I do six weeks from now?”, and “what can I do today?”
Evaluate
Every day, evaluate how you’re doing on your goals. Long term goals can be easily ignored if they’re not evaluated every day, and if you don’t evaluate how you’re doing on your goals regularly, you might miss the things that are preventing you from achieving them.
Readjust
If you find that your approach isn’t working, you may need to readjust your goals. That doesn’t mean that you’re failing at your goals or that you should quit; it just means you have to rethink the approach you’re taking. Maybe the goal isn’t as relevant to you as you thought it would be, or it’s not as realistic as you expected, or your timeline is too short. Identify which part of your SMARTER goal is tripping you up and readjust it.
The best goals are ones that include trying new things instead of quitting old ones. Quitting things is hard; learning something new is easier and more exciting. If you’re looking to quit something, replace it by establishing a new habit that takes its place. For example, “I’m going to stop going on my phone,” is hard, but “when I feel like going on my phone, I’ll read a book for ten minutes instead” might be easier to maintain.
After you’ve figured out your SMARTER goal, it’s time to WOOP. WOOP is something like the scientifically proven cousin of “manifesting”. Just visualizing our goals or positive thinking on its own can be counterproductive, because it fools our lizard brains into believing that we’ve already achieved the goal. By using the WOOP method, you can prevent that from happening and actually achieve what you want to achieve.
WOOP stands for:
Wish: Identify a wish that is challenging, yet attainable. This should be your SMARTER goal.
Outcome: Imagine the best outcome as a result of your wish (as vividly as possible). Really daydream about what your life would be like if you achieved your goal.
Ask yourself, what is the biggest benefit you could receive from achieving this goal?
Obstacle: Identify and imagine what obstacles will get in the way of your wish.
What might get in the way? Thoughts, feelings, beliefs, old behavior patterns, bad habits, social pressure… identify as many as you can, then prioritize their likely they are to happen and how significant they would be if they did happen.
Plan: Create an if-then plan to overcome the obstacles you identified- “if [obstacle occurs] then I will [plan A].” Do your best to pick the most effective path you can for each obstacle, and identify a few different plans in case your first plan doesn’t work.
For example, if you wanted to start exercising, your WOOP might look like this:
Wish: Go on a run 3x/week after school/work for a month.
Outcome: Better energy, confidence, and health.
Obstacle: Feeling tired and hungry at the end of the day…Not wanting to go.
Plan: Pack a snack for the end of the day, and put on gym clothes right when you get home.
Or if you wanted to stop watching TV and read more:
Wish: Watch only 5 episodes of TV per week, and read when I feel the urge to watch TV for a month.
Outcome: Learn a lot. Get smarter. Feel better. Enjoy the great ideas. Feel like I’m spending my time wisely.
Obstacle: Not feeling like it. Preferring to watch TV.
P: If I catch myself watching TV, then I turn it off and start reading a book instead.
The last thing you can do to increase the chances that you’ll achieve your goal is to get someone else involved. Either find a friend who’s setting the same goal that you are, or tell someone about your goal and ask them to help you achieve it by checking up on you. It can also be helpful to put money on the line- give money to a friend with the understanding that you’ll get it back on a set date if you’ve achieved your goal. If you really want to ensure that you reach your goal, tell your friend that if you fail, they should donate the money to a group or cause that you really hate.
For smaller, more day to day tasks:
Make a list of everything you need to do. Sort them into four categories- tasks that are Urgent & Important, tasks that are Not Urgent & Important tasks that are Not Important but Urgent, and tasks that are neither Urgent nor Important. Focus first on the tasks that are Urgent & Important. This can help you prioritize which things to work on first.
From there, take a look at each individual task and break it down into very small steps that you can't fuck up. These can be as small as "open laptop", "open Google Docs", "write name at top of the page", etc. If it helps, you can assign each one of these steps a point count, and then give yourself a treat once you collect enough points (10 points, 20 points, 50 points, and so on).
Once you have your list and have identified all of the steps, just do the first step. It can be daunting to start a big project or task; it's way easier to just do one thing. And once you do one thing, it feels easier to do just one more thing, and just one more thing, and so on until the task is complete.
Once you build up some momentum, I would recommend using the Pomodoro technique. Work for 20-25 minutes (or as long as you can really focus) and then take a 5-10 minute break. Stand up, get a drink, get a snack, watch a short TV episode or a YouTube video, look up that thing that was on your mind, whatever will give your brain a break. Then, set another 20-25 minute timer and get back to work. After three or four cycles of working and taking a short break, take a longer break.
A few other things that I think it's important to remember when it comes to productivity.
Anything worth doing is worth doing badly. You don't need to finish things, and you don't need to do them perfectly. If it's a choice between doing something badly or not doing it at all, it's always better to do it badly.
You don't need to do things the way other people would do them- do it how it works for you. Sometimes that won't make sense to other people, but that's all right. The only person it has to work for is you. If bouncing back and forth between different tasks works better for you than focusing on one task until it's done, then bounce back and forth between tasks. That's okay.
It's okay to ask for help. If you have trouble doing things, that's okay- find someone who can assist you. Maybe you're bad at projects that don't have someone to be accountable to. Find a friend who will hold you accountable. Maybe you're bad at projects without deadlines. Set deadlines for yourself and get someone to make sure you meet them. Sometimes you don't need to work through your shortcomings- you just need to find a way around them.
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Nothing in Particular Update #2
It’s the Nothing and Particular and Everything update part two: the electric booglaloo. This one is long, so strap in.
It’s been a while since I wrote an update for this story. To be honest, this one gave me a lot of stress, but here I am! Writing this story feels like it is going very slow. I keep telling myself I’ve made a lot of progress (which is true, I have) but for some reason it doesn’t feel like I have? This is likely just my own insecurity. To be frank, I can’t believe I’m still writing this story. If you had told me in February that I’d still be writing this when the weather got warm, I would have laughed.
I am SO excited that I will finally be able to focus on writing now that I’m out of school. I’m afraid to speak the rough deadline that I’ve given myself for this story (the end of August-early September) but now that I’ve spoken it into existence, I hope I can finish! (I hope I can stop watching dumb videogame playthroughs and listening to The Magnus Archives and get something done)
Here is a link to the story introduction and previous update!
TAGLIST (ask to be +/-); @wannabeauthorzofija @a-completely-normal-writer @baguettethebooklover @corkytheguar @writeherewaiting
STORY CHANGES/THOUGHTS/IDEAS:
Here is a big one: I’ve been trying to write this story for myself. I started writing Ray’s story from a place that was personal to me, but I feel like, as that part of myself has begun to heal, I’ve started to think about what a reader would want out of the story. I’m realizing that this is my story so it has to be what I want. Drafts are drafts for a reason, so I’m going to try to get better at letting myself explore what is fun to me.
I always thought I was a discovery writer (I still sort of think I am) but as I’ve finished small sections of the story, I am finding that it’s very helpful to do a rough outline of scenes in upcoming chapters. (I also recommend turning to this if something doesn’t work and you need to retrace your steps!) Just helps me feel more organized!
Jude’s character has got to be one of the most difficult personalities I’ve ever written. Putting her beside Ray just makes it harder. Where Ray is secretive and keeps to herself, Jude is ready to unpack her entire life’s story to anyone. I find that I really have to slow down when writing their interactions. I know this is going to be nowhere near perfect in the first draft, but I think it is a main contributor to my slow writing.
I really like this little narrative I’ve created in the background of the main plot with Ray and Lonan. I love writing these scenes because it’s a way for me to use Lonan when he’s not actively with Ray and to show why Ray is predetermined about things at certain points. Also I love their friendship so much <3
CONGRATULATIONS TO ME on starting to read again because I forgot how much of a help reading other people’s stories can be when you’re struggling with your own oml
I now have a set timeline for the story! Takes place ~4-5 months.
I did that thing where you write a letter from the characters’ perspectives and that was kind of fun
Also just for fun I thought I’d add in that I spent an hour and a half last week filling up a page in my sketchbook with diagrams of the plot. It feels good to be a mad scientist
EXCERPTS UNDER THE CUT!
*At this point, I’m only sharing writing that I am really proud of in order not to spoil the story! This is because I am unsure whether I want to publish this story someday. With that said, that does NOT give you permission to steal my ideas!
CHAPTER: NIGHT CRIES
#1
In the last week of summer, I did everything I could to avoid post-vacation blues. I rode my bike along the gravel roads with no destination, wore my dark sunglasses to people-watch, and fed salami to the minnows that floated on the cusps of boulders. Usually, I sat still for so long that my elbows turned a deep shade of red and the blood in my toes buzzed.
New pockets seemed to open up in Point Blink every day. And with them, came new people. Most of them were older – a middle aged woman who caked her lipstick on, an uncle estranged from his brother, a couple who had miscarried. I hadn’t forgotten about the kids at Mothouse. It was impossible not to think about them. It wasn’t just that I’d never seen them before.
#2
The girl’s limp cigarette bled a trail of smoke that seeped into my Vans. My shirt folded like skin over my bed post. Haunted the room – foiled my mauve sheets and teased my locks. Swept the curtains apart and heated the oak floor. Beams of moonlight leapt to my bookcases; highlighted the posters from various podcasts and bands that I listened to. Wind whistled when I was too still. She forced me to look outside, onto the dark cul-de-sac lit by the reflections of forming rain puddles. No matter whether I sat at my desk or burrowed under my sheets, I felt out of place. She made my bedroom louder. She made my bedroom quieter.
I decided it would probably be best if I never saw her again.
To be honest, I don’t remember much about writing this chapter because it was over a month ago (sorry) but I’m still quite happy with the prose! This comes in after Ray sees Jude for the first time at Mothouse. Based on a first impression, decides that she might want be friends with Jude.
CHAPTER: SORRY
#1
If you spend any long amount of time with someone, you’ll become a thief to their behaviors. If I stared long enough, trees began to replace all of the people we’d ever seen. Oaks had roots that serpentined the ground like children splashing in the bay, pines with needles like spindly old hands, maples with hollows like watchful eyes – all things Lonan had taught me to observe.
CHAPTER: GHOSTS
Then there was the sea – violent and knowing as it romped within bays and alcoves. She had eaten me many times before, both my father and Lonan too. Gulped them as if they were shining plastic wrappings left behind after a meal. I spited her for inviting me once again. I reached up again to grapple with the next rung. It twisted and offered a low whistle.
In these two chapters, Ray is on a photography trip with her class. This is the first time she’s been on this annual trip without Lonan. She left that morning with a goal of being independent and learning to get on with one of the only people she has felt close to. I realize now that the Ghost excerpt sort of sounds like her dad and Lonan have drowned?? Which was not my intention??
CHAPTER: A DIVINE INTERVENTION
#1
“Do you believe in ghosts?” A raspy voice teased from behind me. Cigarette smoke tickled the words, like they were stuck together with jelly inside of her. The question wasn’t particularly calming, but it strengthened my grip on reality. As if the foiled leaves, bark, and dandelions had sprung from the ground and begun to float, they came crashing back down.
I was made of stone.
“I’m not a ghost,” Jude said. “If I was, a ladder would be a pretty counteractive way to outrun me. I could just float up there and haunt you.”
“Maybe you’re a ghost,” she asked, her voice distant.
I shifted my grasp up and down the sides of the ladder. “What?”
“Don’t you believe in ghosts?”
I was reading back some of Ray and Jude’s conversation and there are so many snippets of dialogue that make me laugh because I totally forgot I wrote them... but UGhhH I don’t know if I want to share them because I don’t know whether or not I want to try and publish the story someday. Speaking of that, it’s sort of because it’s so personal to me? I don’t know (this is for future me to pursue) Honestly though, reading these back has made me really happy :)
#2
I wanted to shake her by the shoulders. She acted as though Point Blink could breathe – as though corpses in the cemetery might pull the grass away like dead skin, neighbors would draw blades, and blood-salt would stain her clothes rather than that from the sea. “Trust me, they’ll forgive you. But, I’m just saying, most people around here don’t care nearly as much as you think so. Most of them are way older anyways, so they’re tired of us.”
“Is that you complimenting yourself?” Jude asked.
“Not intentionally,” I said, “but I will take it.”
She laughed. “You shouldn’t be so nice to strangers.”
I wasn’t trying to be. I just didn’t think I wanted her to dislike me.
#3
“I don’t think it’s a bad thing or a good thing,” Jude said. “Being good gets you tucked into a thousand different memories. Being good makes you live a lifetime.”
I almost laughed, but then I wondered what I was to her now. “I don’t talk to lots of people.”
“Sometimes there aren’t many people to talk to. But I thought you would have loads of friends.”
I wasn’t sure what to say to that. “I thought you would too.”
Alarm like grief lit her eyes, but she laughed. I did too.
“You hardly know me,” she said quietly.
Then the girls explore some old newspapers and letters in a fire tower! Spooky fun!
CHAPTER: YOU LET THIS HAPPEN
This isn’t a major spoiler as it’s literally in the blurb I wrote, but Ray and Jude are caught (targeted..??) in a fire. Ray is brought back to a field where she is questioned.
CHAPTER: NOTHING HAPPENS
He was quiet for several moments while he painted a picture with what little details I had given him, then said, “It’s unfair. I think that’s why it hurts.”
“Because we almost got hurt?”
“No. Because it came true.”
His gentle, ragged voice made me think I could tell him anything. Sometimes, I think that, even then, he knew I left something out.
Ray talks to Lonan after the fire... She’s being a bit dishonest about what actually happened.
CHAPTER: WHY NOT
I remember how the barest amount of red light glared across Lonan’s entire scalp and washed his boyish curls magenta from the roots out. When Jude leaned back on the counter, she melded into the darkness.
This chapter is just part of the narrative that I created with Ray and Lonan’s friendship. There isn’t much I want to spoil from it, but I liked this paragraph!
CHAPTER: INEVITABLE
“We didn’t do anything,” I said.
“Someone did. Why won’t you believe me?”
“I think I would remember whether or not someone was there with us,” I said, “even if we didn’t have the picture.”
This was untrue. I hung lots of photos in my room. A long time would pass before I went to a restaurant again, or a specific coven on one of the beaches, or an outfit that I wore, and I would look into one of my pictures and remember it, and then I would be quite angry with myself that I had almost forgotten that thing forever.
“I don’t think you understand what I mean,” Jude said. I didn’t like the way she’d lowered her voice. She sounded different every time I saw her. She reached out her arm so our photos were side by side and our fingers were almost touching. “I don’t think you want to.”
Ray finds herself alone in the school’s dark room with Jude. Based on the contents of one of her photos, she tries to convince Ray that there is more to the fire than what meets the eye.
CHAPTER: (this one is untitled)
I didn’t mind that he followed me everywhere. Even when he was quiet, I didn’t find it strange to be around him. We sat silently through films and went on walks. Once, he had fallen asleep while watching The Iron Giant in my bed. I didn’t know if I should wake him up once it ended. I tried not to stare at him. He’d rolled onto his side and bundled himself in one of my blankets covered in stars up to his shoulders so only his small face poked out like a baby owl’s. His soft breath messed his dirty gold coils. They were at their longest. Except for the ebbing light from a candle on my desk, my house was asleep – Lonan needed to go home.
For the first time, I wondered if anyone cared where he was.
Another small part of the little friendship narrative! (This really is the part of the story where I get nostalgic for my childhood, isn’t it) Ray starts to discover more about Lonan’s home life in this part of the story, but there’s not much that I think I want to reveal about that for now.
CHAPTER: THE CRUX OF IT
Why did I feel so paranoid? I found myself staring out the window, into the film of blue that the late sun shown onto the grass and trying to remember what summer felt like.
My main problem was that I didn’t know how to talk to Jude unless it was about Sugarfell. I ran from the hush of cigarette smoke behind closing doors and heard her loud voice in conversations. Even though there might have still been a part of me that wanted to be friends with her, I didn’t have much to base that feeling off of. I could have spent hours clicking the little pieces of her that I had together, but the crux of it was that I would never know Jude unless I forced myself to.
For some reason, that really scared me.
I spent all week trying to think of what to say to her. By Friday afternoon, I still had nothing.
I left off writing with Ray actively avoiding Jude’s little investigation into the arsonist. Ray doesn’t want to be involved in this because she feels that it will throw her sense of normalcy off course. She really just wants to learn how to adapt to a life without her best friend. (It doesn’t help that she’s got fresh trauma)
What will Ray decide? I don’t know. We shall see. (just kidding I know)
Sorry this update was longer! I think I would like to start updating more often than once a month just because they would be shorter and those of you reading this won’t forget what happened in the last update. There are thousands and thousands of words that didn’t show up in this update because - like I said - I don’t know whether I want to publish this story ever?? I’ll probably talk more about this in a separate update.
Thank you so much to those of you who read about my story! I hope you enjoy it!
:)
p.s. btw I now have a myWriteClub account! You can check it out here and stalk me as I tragically fail my writing goals!
#ffs writing this update was like throwing a boulder into a lake#there was so much I wanted to share#it's really difficult to decide what to share as sometimes a paragraph that I'm really proud of will be really spoilery#I can only imagine this will be more and more difficult as I get further into the story#ANYWAYS#I feel like I'm really beginning to see who my characters are <3#I feel like a proud mother#To be honest#I kind of hated Jude in the beginning#but now I feel like Ray hates her too so that makes me like her#haha im so mean#tune in next time for a Sapphic spy date
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A Cursed Blessing- Chapter 2
So I got some asks for a taglist and so there is one now! :D If you want to be tagged in future chapters, just let me know!
Warnings: Ghosts, death, food/drink mention, anxiety mention, panic attack mention, migrane/headache, homophobia, racism mention, car accident mention, blood mention, screaming.
If you find any need for warning, please tell me!
Pairings: Platonic Dukexiety (This may turn romantic, I’m not sure yet..) Not in this chapter, but there will be Remile.
Also Remy and Emile are nonbinary because I’m nonbinary and I say so.
Summary: Virgil is tired. Ghosts want to talk to him. Virgil’s parents want to make sure that Virgil is 100% normal. Luckily, Remus knows a thing or two about helping Vigil.
Taglist:
@mychemically-imbalanced-romance
@akatsuki-no-katira
@ray-does-stuff
The dead and the alive were starting to blur together as Virgil’s headache grew. Halloween was approaching and with it, deadlines, screaming ghosts, and the stress of the upcoming Halloween play. Stress meant headaches, and headaches meant it was harder to tell the living from the spirits. This meant he had gotten strange looks for mumbling his coffee order to a dead barista, who had helpfully replied she was, indeed, a ghost.
Remus noticed his friend’s behavior as well, chalking it up to anxiety. Virgil usually got stressed as the holidays grew closer, and this Saturday was no exception. In fact, Virgil was even more stressed than usual, because his parents were coming into town.
Don't get Virgil wrong, he loved his parents. But more in the, “I love you because you’re my parents and you raised me,” than “I love you due to your personality.” While Remus had had zero trouble coming out to his parents after telling Virgil, Virgil hadn’t even bothered trying. He knew his parents were homophobic, along with their fear that Virgil was going to walk around saying that he could see dead people.
He had been adopted by his parents when he was a newborn, so his skin was, yes, a shade darker than his parents. His hair was a darker brown than his mother’s. And his eyes were the worst of all. When he was a year old, his eyes had slowly transitioned from their deep dark brown to heterochromia (the only hetero thing about him-) with one bright green eye, and one deep purple.
His parents never met Virgil’s eyes, hating how wrong they were. They weren’t exactly racist (though, Virgil wouldn’t be surprised) but they stiffened when Virgil’s differences were pointed out. They hated any reminders that Virgil, in theirs, wasn’t normal.
So yeah, Virgil was stressed. He needed to convince his parents that he was doing fine, not having any relapses, and seeing ‘fake’ ghosts. He needed to convince his parents that he was straight. He needed to convince his parents that yes, his anxiety meds were working fine and yes, he’d been to see the therapist they’d recommended.
Virgil would’ve gladly gone to the therapist they’d recommended for his anxiety. But if his parents had anything to do with it, that therapist knew all about his “ghost troubles” and would report anything out of the ordinary back to his parents for an extra paycheck. As for his meds, they were doing fine. Could be better, but he was tired of scheduling appointments only to get a stronger dosage or a newer bottle and told they’d work this time.
Remus knew this (minus the ghost bits), and when he saw Virgil’s tired eyes when they went out for coffee, he gave an apologetic (and somewhat abashed) smile and squeezed his shoulder lightly.
“Sorry I made you stay up all night before your parents came over,” Remus said, tapping his fingers restlessly. “Will they be mad?”
“If they knew what we were really doing, then yeah. But I’ll just tell them we were working on a school project. Besides, I think George is pretty happy with the ways things turned out.” Virgil took a sip of his coffee, knowing that caffeine made his anxiety worse but also knowing that caffeine eased headaches and not passing that opportunity up.
Remus brightened at the mention of their dead friend, and he began an endless chatter of information he’d found on a Mr. George Harris, and even found a picture. Virgil tuned him out, which he didn’t usually do unless it was a day like this, occasionally nodding his head or offering an “Mhm.” Instead, he kept his eyes flicking between the ghosts around him today.
All of them were already becoming more desperate for release from the world, except for the few- like Remy- who still had all of their soul and wits about them. The ghost barista was one of them and she stood off the side, attempting to sweep up crumbs that phased through her broom. She waved at Virgil and went back to work.
The next ghost was the man in the bloodstained fedora, obviously growing more urgent in his need for escape. He was attempting to make his way over to Virgil, to beg him for help, but Remy, who had followed Virgil to the cafe, kept pulling him back and confusing him.
There was another ghost, a girl with short hair and a beanie, standing just outside the cafe, on the crosswalk where she had died. She repeated her actions helplessly, holding up a hand, crossing the street, turning suddenly as she saw a car, screaming, and fell as an invisible echo of a car hit her. Then she vanished, appeared at the beginning of the crosswalk, and started over.
These were the spirits so trapped in their death they were forced to relive it until Virgil found a way to send them along. She was in such a public spot though, that he had trouble talking to her, much less figure out what she was missing. He closed his eyes a little, eyes still on the girl, trying to figure it out. Trying to…
“Virgil Ann Raine-Storm!” Virgil jolted abruptly, splashing coffee on his hand. “Oh- shoot- sorry,” Remus handed him napkins, staring at him. “I was losing you again. But that’s not important, your parents are here.” He said in a hiss of a whisper, trying to warn Virgil.
Virgil sat up, adrenaline pumping through his veins and waking him. He nodded, murmuring a thank you. He glanced over to the counter, where his mother and father were ordering their drinks. He leaned forward slightly, acting like he had been talking to Remus the whole time, and Remus played along excellently.
“So, anyway, when I finally got to class, it turns out there wasn’t even class that day!” Virgil said, waving his hand and then taking a sip of coffee. Remus cackled, despite hearing the story before. In fact, he’d been there with Virgil when the event took place. Their act was believable, though, and when Virgil’s parents slid into the booth (his mother next to him and his father next to Remus), they were smiling.
“Hello, Virgil honey.” His mother said, giving him a nervous smile and squeezed his shoulder. His father grinned, bumping his shoulder into Remus’s, “And hello Remus. Nice to see you two are still friends.”
“Hi mom, hi dad.” Virgil gave his mother a side-hug, smiling easily at them. “It’s great to see you guys again.” Lies again. He hummed slightly, sipping on his coffee. His mother’s gaze relaxed a little, locking eyes with her husband and smiling. Virgil was doing fine.
“So, Remus, how you been?” Virgil’s father asked, and Virgil instantly relaxed. He’d passed the test, whatever he’d done was right. Remus chatted with his father about random things. His brother, his parents, school, etcetera, etcetera. Virgil tuned it out, bouncing his foot nervously and glancing between his parents.
He finally broke into the conversation, asking where his parents would be staying. Don’t say my place, don’t say my place, please, please, don’t say my place-
“Oh, there’s a little hotel nearby. You know, just next to the Denny’s?” Virgil nodded relief flooding through him. It would’ve been considerably harder to convince his parents that he had given up ghosts if they lived with him for the weekend.
His mother rested her hand on her husband’s effectively trapping Virgil (and Remus) in the booth. Virgil was certain that if he had reason to look under the table, he’d see their legs blocking any exit through there.
“So, Virgil, have you been on top of your schoolwork lately?” His mother asked, pursing her lips. Virgil nodded, grinning nonchalantly, even though his heart was pounding and a million different worries were pushing against each other, shouting to be heard above the others.
“I’m doing fine, mom. Ree and I study together a lot so…” It wasn’t a lie, he was doing alright with his work. But he was anxious about the questions to come. Remus played around on his phone, his foot resting atop Virgil’s in an attempt to comfort him.
Virgil’s dad grinned. “Martha, leave the boy alone! Obviously, he’s doing fine.” He shot Virgil a wink. “Meet any girls lately, Virgil?” Virgil grinned at his dad, knowing they were both faking their easiness. His father was double-checking his son’s sexuality. Virgil was making sure his dad still believed he was straight.
“Well, there’s this girl in one of my classes. Red hair, glasses. She’s pretty.” He looked out the window a second as if pretending to think about the made-up girl. His father clapped Remus on the back, “Well that’s great! Ain’t it Remus?”
Remus, startled out of his phone, grinned up at him. “Oh, you should hear him go on about her. He’s in loooove” He shot a wink Virgil’s way, who pretended to be annoyed with him, throwing a napkin at Remus.
“Do you know her name, son?” His father asked, obviously thrilled that Virgil was doing so well. When Virgil, unable to come up with a name so fast, shook his head, his father just grinned and offered some advice.
Virgil’s mother was less easily convinced. “Mhm, that’s nice dear. Virgil, hun, have you been to the therapist we recommended?” Virgil shifted slightly, opening his mouth to say the phrase he’d gone over a hundred times before his father interrupted.
“Oh, come now, Martha. He’s obviously doing alright. He’s more relaxed than he has been in a while. I think that the therapist is doing a great job. I think Virgil is doing a great job. Quit being so hard on him.”
Virgil’s mother pursed her lips, glaring daggers at her husband. “Well, Frank, I just want to make sure Virgil hasn’t had a relapse lately.” Virgil’s father faltered. Virgil stepped in before it turned into an all-out shouting match.
“Is that what this is about?” He asked, despite knowing full well that that was all this was about. “I haven’t. Not since… Well, you know.”
His mother looked at him, scanning his face before sighing. “I’m sorry, honey. I just worry about you.” Virgil crossed his arms, huffing.
“I know mom, but I’m fine.” Virgil looked toward the window. Remus nodded, butting in, “Don’t worry Mrs. Raine! VeeVee’s doing good! I’ll keep an eye on him if you’re that worried.”
“Oh, thank you, Remus. But if- if Virgil is really doing okay-” Mrs. Raine was interrupted by her son, who was sipping his coffee idly.
“I am.”
“And Frank thinks it’s alright..”
“I do, honey. Virgil is fine.”
“Then I guess there isn’t really anything to keep an eye on.” She gave a smile, ruffling her son’s hair, and Mr. Storm grinned. This was fine. Virgil, Frank, and Martha. A perfectly happy family.
If only, Virgil thought, crossing the street with Remus and trying to ignore the ghost-lady screaming in his ear. Things would be so much easier.
#ts virgil#ts anxiety#virgil sanders#ts remus#ts intrusive thoughts#remus sanders#dukexiety#platonic dukexiety#ghosts#remy sanders#ts sleep#ts remy#a cursed blessing
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Sweet Dreams (Loki x Reader)
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 3.1K
Warnings/Tags: Incubus Loki, Smut (or at least it’s leading up to it)
Summary:
It’s your first free weekend in what feels like forever and you plan on snoozing through it without any interruptions. Someone has other plans.
A/N: I really just wanted an excuse to write some smut, huh? It’s okay. This was a little smut-writing exercise. You can also read this on my AO3.
YOU AREN’T SURE of three things.
The first one being that you don’t know when exactly it starts.
Things are a whirlwind, a blur of deadlines and details that don’t seem to fit together. You’re busy, that’s for sure, just barely surviving; your concept of time is distorted with how much you have to get done and stay on top of that once you’re home you have just enough energy to take a quick shower and knock right out. Work, survive, sleep, repeat. Your favorite part of the routine? Definitely the sleep.
You aren’t sure when your nights start becoming more restful. It’s strange, you think, since you barely get even a good five hours yet you wake up refreshed every morning. Or at least ready to face the day.
You tell yourself it’s your circadian rhythm getting used to your messed up workaholic schedule.
The second thing you aren’t sure of is why you start having dreams.
It shouldn’t be a surprise to you—you’ve had dreams before. Only with how much time you spend awake versus how much time you spend resting, dreams don’t come easy. At least, they shouldn’t. You read somewhere that the more active your brain is, the more likely you are to have dreams. Or is it the opposite? You press a hand to your eyes, rolling your neck before you continue with the document you’re currently typing.
They aren’t weird dreams by any means. Sometimes you remember them, sometimes you don’t. You remember one where you screamed at an ex-friend until your lungs gave out, throat hoarse, and that day you woke up feeling closure you never actually got. Another time, you dreamed that you missed a deadline, and woke up so paranoid that you showed up two hours early for work. And more recently, you admit with a tinge of embarrassment, a wet dream.
You’re sure it’s from the novel you had to proofread the other day. Page after page was filth after filth and it left your heart racing, your mind wandering, and a certain part of you wanting.
Goodness, how long has it been since you last…
You shake your head and will yourself to focus.
The sooner you can get this done, the sooner you can go home.
It’s been a pretty shitty day.
You’re practically ready to call it a day; today your boss yelled at you for being incompetent (you aren’t) and your coworker Salome took credit for your work in today’s meeting (she’s a little bitch). You just need a break, damn it.
Thankfully this is your first weekend off after what feels like years. You love your job, but you also don’t want to live-eat-breathe it. Any more time in that office and you’d probably reach your breaking point, exploding into an angry string of expletives and fired notices.
Your night of unwinding and de-stressing goes exactly how you plan it, and you think you can finally get a good nine hours of sleep in. You’re definitely sleeping in tonight. If anyone even tries to wake you up before seven you swear you’ll kill them on sight come Monday morning.
A friend of yours recommends this audio thing for you to listen to. Supposed to help you relax, so she says. So you decide why the hell not, you’re already pretty drowsy, why not conk out two minutes quicker?
You settle in under the covers, getting into the position you’re most comfortable in, and hit play. It’s an audiobook, you realize, narrated by a man with a gorgeously full voice. You allow yourself to get lost in the timbre of his voice. It’s almost hypnotic, entrancing, how musical it sounds. You notice the way his words sound together, how he pronounces his the and said, not paying attention to the story itself, until he becomes background noise.
In less than five minutes, you’re fast asleep.
The last thing you aren’t sure of is what you’re dreaming of before you see it.
It, or him?
The shift in emotion you feel is so quick, so drastic, that you almost wake up. You do. Or you don’t? You’re not sure, and it’s freaking you out. Well, your eyes are open—does that mean you’re awake? You try to regain your bearings—what does that even mean, you are—were?—sleeping in your own bed for fuck’s sake—
“Relax.”
There it is, a silhouette, just by the foot of your bed. Or is it just a shadow? Your heart beats loudly in your ears, and you want to be sleeping peacefully—aren’t you sleeping peacefully?—or just wake up from whatever this is—
“Still your thoughts, pet, I’m not going to hurt you. Unless you want me to. But first, please—rest… relax.”
You feel a gentle pressure around your body as your blanket comes up around you, almost like you’re being tucked in like a child who’s just woken up from a nightmare. Is this a nightmare? Are you awake or dreaming? You aren’t sure.
The voice laughs, silky and altogether mysterious, and for some reason it automatically makes you think of dark chocolate. Sinful, rich, and decadent. He hasn’t stepped out of the shadows, but no matter how lovely his voice is you’re not sure you want to see him. It’s instinct. So you shut your eyes tight.
“I’m scared,” you blurt out without thinking.
“I can see that,” the voice answers swiftly. You can feel your hair being brushed away from your forehead. A gentle, comforting gesture. “Although I hope in a few nights you won’t be.”
“What does that mean?” Your question comes out soft and weak, the kind that signals your consciousness is slipping away. What, are you being lulled back into sleep already? So easily?
The voice hums thoughtfully. “Names are power. Shall I give you the power of mine so that you’ll be well-acquainted with me?”
“Who are you?”
“I may have misled you a little, pet.” He chuckles, and it surprises you how warm it sounds. Inviting. “What am I would be a better start now, wouldn’t it?”
You’re jolted back to alertness. Not a person, but… something else? He sounds human. He probably feels human as well. “What are you?” you all but demand.
“Oh, there’s fire in this one,” he remarks. “I quite like that. Well then, sweet, I’ll tell you, since you asked so nicely. I am what your kind know as an incubus—you can look it up when you awaken, but, I’ll give you the short version: I feed on passion. Desire. Lust. Sex.” The way he says the last word makes your skin shiver, and you unconsciously suck in a breath. “But only in dreams. Only in your dreams. Your deepest, darkest fantasies come to life. Everything you want, I can give. Now tell me, isn’t that exhilarating?”
Damn, your head is spinning. The world is spinning. This handsome voice only wants to have sex?
How long has it been again since you last…
“How do I know if I can trust you?” you ask.
His motions pause, and then he resumes with a touch that mesmerizes you into a state of pliancy. And gentle, oh so gentle—your eyelids are heavy, a stark contrast to your body that is on high alert.
“I’ve told you what I am. I wouldn’t want to deceive you to get what I want. It’s always more delightful when an incubus has a willing partner.” A wanton shiver slides down your spine, slow and deliberate, matching the rhythm of the strokes of his hands. “I won’t do anything you wouldn’t want me to. But oh, sweet pet, the things I want to do.” You feel his voice at your ear, his breath coming in light puffs, and hell, it makes you want him with each passing second. “You’d enjoy it all, I’m sure. I only want to see you come undone. To bring you high into your personal precipice of ecstasy. And I want to watch it all unfold.” You gasp when you feel his teeth nip at your earlobe, your clit pulsing once, in time with the pang of pain and pleasure.
“Will you let me show you what I can offer, sweet?”
The fact that you can feel the gush of heat pooling into your center makes you slightly embarrassed, but it only affirms how much you want this. It’s been too long, and if the both of you can get off then the better.
His nose is running across the side of your face, and you crane your neck as he trails downward, towards the vein in your neck, where he ultimately will know just how affected you are. He skims the tip of his nose along your pulse point, inhaling deeply, before climbing up so his face is level with yours.
“Just say yes,” he murmurs, low and seductive and lulling you into a deeper place of desire, “if you want this as bad as I want you.”
“Yes,” you breathe, a sigh riding on the last sound of the word. “Please, yes.”
The pressure around you lifts, and you briefly wonder if the dream is over. Only it isn’t. This is real, and this is happening.
“Open your eyes first,” he says. “I want you to see me.”
Battling some degree of difficulty (your eyes have been pretty heavy up to this point), you comply. Standing before you is a gorgeous man, lithe and lean, clad in black (is that a suit?) and immediately you know his voice of velvet seduction matches his appearance perfectly. Your eyes rake over this mystery man, his black hair falling in decadent curls and grazing the tops of his shoulders, his features sharp and masculine, and your gaze travels downwards and lingers for a second too long on his…
“I’m glad I could elicit such a positive reaction when I haven’t done anything to pleasure you yet.” There’s a teasing lilt in his voice as he appraises you with a look of equal desire. Has he been looking at you like that all this time? The idea that he has floods your veins with delicious fire, your excitement boiling in the pits of your deepest parts.
“Now close your eyes again, sweet,” he says, gently placing his fingers on your eyelids and guiding them shut. “I want you to focus on what I’m doing.”
The heat pooling between your legs is undeniable now, and you wait with bated breath for anything, literally anything. All you can hear is the sound of your own breathing, shallow and rapid, as you wait in anticipation. There is no contact between you, and yet the electrifying tension in the air winds you up like a string that’s pulled taut.
And then finally, he touches you. It’s not what you expect, a gentle cupping of your cheek, but the tenderness is not lost on you. He drags a single finger over your nose, running it along your jawline, then down to your neck. Your breathing picks up as the lightest pressure of his finger brushes against your collarbone, going over the hollow where neck meets shoulder once, twice, and then he slowly, excruciatingly slowly, travels down and boldly trails his finger around your breast.
“Gorgeous,” he comments, and it amazes you how you want more. He’s only using a single finger and already you are putty in his hands. “And I would love to see how exquisite your skin is underneath. May I, sweet?”
You sigh, and it sounds more shameless than you want to admit. “Yes. Please.”
“Alright.”
You’re aware of your sudden lack of clothing. At least it feels that way, what with the cool air caressing your curves and the goosebumps that rise on the surface of your skin. You’re topless in front of him. Your first instinct is to cover up, although your hands seem to be pinned to your sides as you lay flat on your back.
He’s silent, the only sounds now both your breathing, yours light as air and his even and level. The air is thick and hot and heavy and you want to do something. Anything, to relieve the delicious ache between your legs.
“May I touch you, sweet?” His pure seduction of a voice cuts through the night air, a few tones lower and ten times more sensual.
Your throat is closed up from the anticipation you’re feeling, and you nod dumbly. Yes, please touch me, you want to say, but the words never come out. The nod, for now, will suffice.
He continues to use a single finger to trace across the mounds of your breast, circling the right from base to areola and then moving to the left until his finger rests on the nipple. You vaguely register the breathy sound you make when he brushes against it—the firm pad of his finger against your nipple causes a delicious friction that makes you think Yes please and something warm settles in the pit of your belly. Your mind is going into overdrive, probably from the sex drought you’ve been experiencing for the past few months.
“So responsive.” His voice is husky, and his praise makes your folds even wetter that you press your thighs together to relieve some of the ache.
And then he’s repeating the motion with more vigor this time, one hand on each breast as he inflicts intoxicating little flicks against your nipples, and you feel like you’re about to see stars. Your mouth hangs open in awe because fuck, never has something this simple turned you on this much.
You let out a full on moan when he squeezes your breasts in his hands, briefly, and then he’s sliding his cool fingers up to cup your jaw and then tracing down the curves of your waist and then settling his hands on your hips.
“You’re so soft,” he whispers, his fingers a feather-light touch against your skin, leaving sparks of fire in their wake. It can’t be humanly possible to feel this much, can it?
They’re just hands, you tell yourself in the midst of your hazy, lust-ridden thoughts. How the hell are you feeling this way?
“May I taste your skin, sweet?” His voice is practically a purr. You nod, frantic to receive whatever he has to give.
You don’t think it can get any better but then fuck, you feel something warm and wet close around your nipple and your legs snap open by their own accord. Your underwear feels soaked through and part of you thinks this is obscene but hell you don’t want it to end.
His mouth is doing wicked things now, nipping and sucking and then gently biting at your nipple. It’s mind-numbing, the way he deftly swirls his tongue around your nipple before sucking and biting while his other hand caresses the other. He showers the rest of the skin around your breast with the same treatment until you’re whimpering beneath him, writhing for release—any kind of release at this point—that you know he can give and senses that you need.
“Legs up, sweet,” he purrs, his voice is thick with desire. Hearing it only makes your libido kick up three notches higher, and you eagerly lift up your legs in a V position. He catches you by the ankles, rubbing his thumbs in circles on the insides of each, every action traveling up the nerves that connect to your pussy, electrifyingly delicious and making your walls clench in anticipation. Hell, you want him to touch you. In all the places. You’re just about ready to beg.
He takes you by surprise as he hooks one leg over his shoulder, using his body to shift you until you’re lying on your side. It’s a little unexpected, but you aren’t uncomfortable. Your legs are spread wide, one on his shoulder and the other on the bed seemingly between his knees. It’s probably enough for him to see just exactly how turned on you are.
“My, my, sweet.” If it’s possible, his voice takes on a fuller, darker, ultimately more seductive tone and fuck if you don’t orgasm even once tonight—
“I would like to touch you. Right here, if you’ll let me.” He brushes a finger against your (apparently naked!) mound. “May I, sweet?”
“Fuck, yes please.” You don’t care how needy your voice is; if anything, it’s a reflection of how much you’re craving this. How you want this.
He places his palm flat on your pussy and both of you hiss. Your back arches as you try to grind on his hand, desperate for friction, and he chuckles.
“So eager,” he says, his fingers now rubbing steady circles around your clit. “Would you prefer it if I gave you my cock already?”
You let out a strangled noise because how could he ask such a stupid question of course you want it. You buck against his hand, whining when he withdraws it. It almost hurts how aroused you are, your cunt thrumming with the promise of an orgasm.
“I would love to give it to you already, sweet, but I’m afraid that’s going to have to wait a while.” You can feel your clothes coming back on. “But, since you’ve been so good, allow me to give you a parting gift…”
You’re almost face-down on the mattress, but you’re still mostly on your side. The bed shifts with weight as you feel—you can only guess—him kneeling behind you.
And your world comes to a complete standstill, a wave of pleasure overcoming you and washing over you like a tidal wave, as you feel him just griiiiind his erection into your wanting core.
“Oh, yes, just like that,” you say breathlessly. He has complete control, a gentle yet firm grip on your hips as he presses hard into your clothed wetness, his erection strong and unyielding. He alternates between lowering himself slooowly on you, pressing you down into the mattress with long, even, fluid motions, and then grinding in slow circles in that intensity, before relieving the pressure and humping you in that slow and steady manner again and again until he’s bringing you to the brink of orgasm.
And then he gives one hard long push, grinding into you, his cock as close to your cunt as you can possibly have it, as he whispers in your ear, “Until the next night of ours, sweet.”
And then, just like that, he’s gone. It’s over.
You wake with your clit throbbing and your pajamas sticking to your skin. You’re lying on your back. Not on your side.
You sit up, dizzy and distracted because what the hell was that?
So you sit there, a little dazed from the ordeal (did you orgasm? You’re not sure), and it hits you that you don’t even know his name.
#loki fanfic#loki x you#loki x reader#smut#incubus loki#reader insert#tom hiddleston#fanfic#by belle
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Tips for following and managing deadlines in college and as an adult? I didn’t realize adulthood requires so much paperwork
Adulthood does require a lot of paperwork (as does my specific job), and I have also sometimes struggled to keep up with it at times! I have ADHD that I manage without medication, and that has required me to come up with a lot of creative strategies for managing deadlines and responsibilities. If you’re struggling, I recommend:
Use the technology that’s available. There are a lot of apps and programs out there to help you keep track of things, and many of them are free. Ideally, look for apps that you can sync across multiple devices. I personally relied on Google Calendar to get me through graduate school - you can enter deadlines and tasks, and set up reminders for yourself to jog your memory. It also gives you a visual look at your schedule, so you can see where you have space to slot extra tasks into your day. In addition to Google Calendar, I recommend checking out Any.Do, Habitica, Bear, EverNote, and 24Me. You can also use the built-in reminder app on your phone, and if remembering to jot things down is a struggle for you, iPhone users can verbally tell Siri to set a reminder for them - I use this function of Siri several times per day. There is no shame in being dependent on technology to manage your life; there are great programs out there, and it’s okay to use the tools that are available. It doesn’t matter which app you choose, or how many apps you choose - it’s about finding a system that works for you.
Try bullet journalling or using an organizer. If technology just doesn’t work for you, you can also try using pen-and-paper methods to keep your life on track. You can find pre-made organizers and agendas at any bookstore, complete with calendars, to-do lists and daily agendas. If you want more control over format, you can also look into starting a bullet journal. It may take a while to set up your bullet journal and get the hang of using it, but when you’re done, you have a fully customized organizational system that can help you track whatever needs tracking in your life. I personally use a bullet journal, and I find it immensely helpful.
Invest in a filing cabinet. Shoving important documents into random drawers and cupboards is an excellent way to not be able to find those documents when you need them. Invest in a small filing cabinet, and take an afternoon to sort and label your important papers. All your essential ID documents, school paperwork, financial paperwork, etc, should be properly sorted and labelled so that you know exactly what documents are where. The time that you spend creating and setting up this system will save you a lot of panicked hours digging through random piles of paperwork you shoved into a drawer in the future.
Automate whatever tasks you can. If your bill payments can be automated, do it. If you have products that you regularly use, set up an automatic order of them on Amazon. If you’re going on vacation and don’t want to waste hours emailing everyone to let them know, set up an automatic reply that lets people know when you’ll be back. If it can be automated, automate it. The best way to keep track of deadlines is to minimize the number of deadlines you need to keep track of. You’ll save yourself a lot of time and stress.
Write everything down. The easiest way to miss a deadline is to forget to write it down. Never assume that you are going to remember something just because you promised yourself you would. If you have something you need to remember, jot it down, enter it into whatever organizational tool you are using, and make sure you set a reminder. Seeing all your tasks written out can help you figure out which deadlines are coming up first, and plan your time accordingly.
Do chores on a schedule. Trying to wing your deadlines and household chores is a really awesome way to find yourself frantically doing laundry at 2 in the morning because you have a big presentation in the morning and you’re totally out of clean clothes. Figure out a regular weekly schedule for your chores, and enter them into your calendar. Not only will this help you visualize how much time your chores take up every week, but doing chores regularly saves you a lot of time and energy - it’s much better to spend 10 minutes per week wiping down the shower stall, rather than spending 3 hours trying sandblast a month’s worth of soap scum off the tub.
Break large projects down into small, manageable chunks. Let’s say you have a huge term paper due three months from now at the end of the semester. Your grades and sanity both depend on you not waiting until the last minute to write that paper. But when you think about how much work needs to be done to write that paper - thinking of a topic, researching, outlining, writing, proofreading, citing, formatting, etc - it’s easy to get completely overwhelmed, and procrastinate working on the paper until the 11th hour. Instead of having an all-out, last-minute panic, start by breaking large projects down into tasks that don’t seem so daunting. If you need to write a 20-page paper with at least 10 cited sources, start by giving yourself 2 weeks to find 5 good sources to cite. Then in the next two weeks, find 5 more sources to cite. Then in the two weeks after that, write the outline. You get the picture. When tasks are broken down, it becomes a lot less overwhelming to do them, and you make much better progress.
Learn to prioritize. There are two things you need to think about when you’re trying to prioritize a task - how urgent it is, and how important it is. An urgent task is one that has to be done soon; an important task is one that has a very important outcome for you. All the tasks in your life fall somewhere on the urgent-important spectrum. If tax deadline is in three days and you haven’t filed yet, filing your taxes is both urgent and important. Taking the garbage out when the can is full is urgent, but not important - nothing in your life will go terribly wrong if you don’t do it. If you want to be a writer someday, working on your writing is important, but not urgent - there’s no deadline, but your life will be hugely negatively impacted if you don’t do it. In general, when you’re prioritizing, tasks should be done in the following order: important + urgent > urgent but not important > important but not urgent > neither important nor urgent. Sometimes, prioritizing means letting things slide if they aren’t worth the time and effort to do them. When you’re a student, this often means taking a hard look at how important something is. If you have a pop quiz tomorrow that’s worth 2% of your grade, and a midterm in two days worth 25% that you are completely unprepared for, your best bet is to take a quick skim of your pop quiz notes and spend the bulk of your time studying for the midterm, even if it means getting a mediocre grade on the quiz.
Overestimate how much time you’ll need to complete a project. How much time do you think it’s going to take you to finish that homework assignment that’s due next week? Think about all the contingencies - assume that you get stuck a couple times and have to scour the internet for answers, or call up your friend who took the class last semester. Maybe you estimate that the assignment should take 4 hours total to complete. Perfect - now schedule yourself 6-8 hours to actually get it done. People tend to dramatically overestimate their own efficiency, and underestimate the time it takes them to actually finish important tasks. If you don’t want to be scrambling all the time, the best thing you can do is intentionally overestimate how much time you need.
Do a regular “life audit”. Every 1-2 weeks, block out some time to sit down and take stock of everything that’s going on in your life. How did the previous week go? Did you get everything done that you needed to? Is there anything you need to catch up on? What are the things that are coming up in your life? What needs to get done this week? Are you making progress toward your goals? How’s the household chore situation? What do you need to prioritize for the week ahead? Is there anything that you’re wasting too much time on? Are there any papers or files that you need to put away in your filing cabinet before they get lost? Checking in with yourself regularly gives you a chance to catch small issues before they can snowball into enormous problems.
Staying on top of deadlines is a skill, and it’s easy to mess up every now and then. We all do it. The key is to keep trying, and to keep striving for improvement.
Best of luck to you!
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Practical Tips for ADHD College Students
I know a few posts like this already exist, but I wanted to add my own experiences to the mix in case it would be helpful to someone else. Some of these will look familiar, some not so much.
Disclaimers: 1) What works for me may not work for you, take everything with a grain of salt and experiment, 2) These are what I’m using for a 4-year school but I imagine it would be applicable for any college? I wish I’d known to do some of these things when I was at CC, 3) I won’t pretend that I am an ADHD success story, not yet. I’m still finding my way, learning to cope, learning to thrive. It’s a process.
NOTE: This post is kinda long; if it’s too long I recommend just reading the bolded/italicized headings and only reading the ones that pique your interest :)
Sensory Issues:
Wear comfortable clothing: Screw the mentality that you always have to look your best in college. At the end of the day, feeling hot but ridiculously uncomfortable will trigger sensory issues (especially if you’re someone who is sensitive to certain materials/styles of clothing) and it will impact concentration and can cause a lot of distress. Are you comfortable in those sweatpants, pajama bottoms, baggy shirts? Cool, wear them.
Stim toys: Love yourself, buy (or make!) stim toys and bring them to school. Can’t speak for CC because I didn’t use stim toys when I went, but at my 4-year school everyone is too busy drowning in deadlines to notice you squishing thinking putty or using a fidget cube under the table.
Try different stim toys: I used to get caught up on trying to make the more popular stim toys work for me when they didn’t, so I had to experiment a bit to see what worked. It’s not always as simple as cubes, spinners, squishy toys, etc. If you have issues with texture you’ll want to really experiment, especially with things like putty, squishibles, etc. to see what is comfortable and what isn’t. But there’s a big ol’ market out there!
Headphones/Earplugs: The single most helpful sensory detail for me was always bringing my headphones to campus. I get easily overstimulated in uncontrolled situations with lots of different sounds. I make sure my volume is enough to block the noise out, but the songs I choose in these instances are usually familiar, so they don’t provide too much new stimulation when I can’t handle it. I also keep earplugs in my backpack for exams.
Studying/School Related:
If possible, leave your house: This has been one of the hardest changes I’ve had to make because I’m an introvert and genuinely prefer being home. But I’m starting to learn that my ass will not do work 9/10 times when I’m home. Too much to do, too many other things to get done, lots of fun distractions, and cats! So many cats! Unfortunately cats won’t take my exams. I’ve found that the library is okay, but for me small cafes worked much better. Armed with my headphones, some coffee, and an atmosphere that caters to silently getting work done, I’m able to focus longer, and to focus on what I really need to.
Note-taker: Admittedly I’m talking out of my ass on this one, because I haven’t yet done this. But that’s exactly why I want to stress getting a note-taker. My college life would be infinitely better if I’d done this when the semester started; instead, my notes have gaps where I couldn’t concentrate, or couldn’t process what was being discussed, etc.
Other accommodations: Accommodations for ADHD differ depending on the college, but some of the common ones are: note-takers, silent exam spaces, assignment extensions, and use of tech such as recorders, speech-to-text software... If you’re like I was and are worried that you’re asking too much asking for accommodations, remember two important things: 1) Accommodations exist to level the playing field, not to give us an edge, and 2) YOU PAY FOR THIS SERVICES. That huge, overwhelming tuition bill with all those “extra fees”? You’re paying for these services already, might as well take advantage of them!
Talk to your professors: This part is truly terrifying for me, but I’ve started opening up this semester to my professors and it has made a difference. The professor for my hardest class actually has a son with adhd so she understood and was even able to provide me with some resources that would help. At the very least, it made my professors aware of my struggles and aware that I wasn’t just being lazy, which calmed my RSD a bit.
Organization: Staying organized is important for any college student, but especially for those with adhd. We lose things a lot, and if things aren’t in obvious, constant places it becomes so much easier to lose or forget where we put things. That being said, your ‘organized’ will probably not be other peoples ‘organized’. For example, I use my Ipsy bags for organization. One holds any writing utensils, flashcards, and post-its, another holds anything medical-related, etc. It seems a bit cluttered and disorganized to other people but it works for me. So try keeping things in the same spot if possible, but remember that finding what organizational structures work for you might take time and effort. If your school has success coaching, I highly recommend it for this purpose! Which brings me to the next point.
Success Coaching: Most colleges offer some kind of program like this, though names may differ. Success Coaching is designed for students of any academic level in order to help them get and stay on track. My college offers study skills, schedule planning, test prep, time management, help navigating campus resources, and a whole host of others. And the people doing the coaching are usually grad students who’ve been through the process. They’re typically trained in working with students with adhd, because that tends to be a significant portion of their students. They’re also just really nice to talk to. Almost like a therapist, but not quite.
Really forgetful? The best thing you can do is change your environment, not try to change yourself. You probably won’t be able to stop your brain from forgetting your notebook at home, but you can get a five subject and keep it in your backpack at all times. Same with folders. Keep losing pens/pencils? Just get a fuckton and shove them in a pouch in your backpack in the beginning of the semester. I’m not kidding when I say I have at least 20 pens and pencils in mine, not including the glitter pens and highlighters.
Planners: Many people have said that it will take time to find just the right planner for you, and they’re correct. The planner I use right now is 8x11 with wide boxes. Some prefer smaller planners, others will use planner apps or just the calendar in their phone. You’ll have to mess around a bit to see what works for you, but you do have options!
Printables: Oh man I love printables so much, but a lot of the time I find that they’re more trouble maintaining than my adhd can handle. You can find a ton on tumblr, free to download and print, and some very beautiful packs for sale on etsy. Right now I use a monthly budget printable and one for studying terms/definitions. Sometimes the adhd mind needs something pretty and different to cling to, so I try to switch things up every so often.
Color-coding: This absolutely will not work for everyone (I’ve seen people say color-coding notes gets the hung up on the coding and not the notes, and I can definitely see that happening). For me, I use color-coding in my planner. Each class gets its own color. This keeps me from seeing a page covered in the same color of ink or pencil and mentally blocking it out. Gelly roll has the most amazing glitter pens!
Test prep: Will vary depending on the person and how they learn best, but for me I’ve found that no one method will work on its own. I have class notes, typed notes, hand-written flashcards, flashcards on quizlet. I won’t pretend that it’s easy; it’s fuck-all time consuming and sometimes I don’t have energy for it, but depending on the class I usually need a combination of at least two different methods to work. This is definitely something success coaching can work with you to figure out!
General Life Advice (that will impact college):
Get on a sleep schedule: I don’t even care what your particular schedule is (because it’ll vary person to person) but just get on one. Much easier said than done, because our brains never want to shut up at night, but lack of a consistent sleep schedule will mess with your concentration, focus, hypersensitivity, etc.
I’ll just do this later...: is the adhd monster talking. What even is later? Does it exist? Sometimes I have to tell myself “nope, we’re doing this right now!” Doesn’t always work, but I try my hardest to do things in the moment if executive dysfunction isn’t at my door.
Develop a support system: This can be difficult because sometimes making and maintaining friendships with adhd can be hard, and sometimes family members aren’t very receptive or supportive. But a strong support system can make all the difference in the world! If your current friends don’t understand the extent of what you’re dealing with, send some resources their way and you might be surprised how fast they get in your corner. But sometimes people without adhd just don’t get it. If your college has a meet-up for students with adhd like mine does, this is a great place to meet like-minded students who understand what you’re going through and can provide support and advice!
I’m going to stop this here because it’s already too long, but I hope this is helpful to someone and I’d love it if you could add your own tips as well!
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Are there any hobbies you have that you don’t perform in front of others?
Graphing random things that don’t necessarily belong in graphs
What’s one bad or inconvenient habit you used to have but no longer do?
I used to be really forgetful, especially with homework and stuff. I still am a little bit but I improved a lot after I got left out of a school organization because I missed the application deadline
Do you find it difficult to kick a habit or a routine that’s detrimental?
Yes
When was the last time you had a particularly hectic day?
Yesterday, I had an interview and was supposed to have another but they didn’t call
Where’s one place you’ve spent a lot of time lately?
My house
Is there anywhere you wish you could spend more time?
Anywhere besides my house
What do you do when you simply don’t know what to do?
Browse facebook and tumblr
When was the last time you felt you were in an impossible situation where, despite what you did, you couldn’t win?
Making the decision whether to move out of my house with roommates who didn’t take covid seriously, but had to move in with my dad who drives me nuts
How did you find out about your current favorite band?
I think my friend recommended her?
Where are you most likely to go when you need clothing?
Kohl’s, Macy’s, or thrift stores
Is anything significant weighing on your mood right now?
Covid and jobs and living with my dad
When was the last time you tried to do something yet failed?
Applied for plenty of jobs I got rejected from
Do you think your life is comprised more of success or failure?
I think mostly inaction, which can’t result in either
What’s one personality trait that’s not strong in you?
Risk taking
Are you a difficult individual to get to know?
Maybe
When was the last time you opened up to someone and about what?
I opened up to my boyfriend about mental health symptoms
To whom do you feel the most important?
My parents
When was the last time you changed your mind?
Probably about whether to move home
Is there something you want but might not ever have?
Going back to college
What’s something you’re working to obtain?
A job
How do you console yourself when you’re distraught?
Idk, maybe write about it or talk about it
Do you tend to enjoy your dreams?
Yeah, sometimes they’re interesting
What would you do if you did not require sleep?
Probably spend more time online
Are there any projects or goals you’ve recently abandoned?
Dice making
What in life serves to keep you going?
The hope that it will get more exciting
How frequently, if ever, do you want to give up?
Sometimes
What was the last good news you received?
That i am moving ahead in the interview process
What’re some of the important things around you?
My phone, my laptop
How long has your favorite song been your favorite?
Like a year? Idk it changes often
In what ways does music influence your life?
It relates to what I’m feeling and gives it a voice
Are you more inclined to appreciate sweet or savory foods?
Sweet
Do you prefer more hot or cold types of food?
It depends on the food
How about hot or cold types of beverages?
Cold
Who last told you to do something and did you do it?
My dad told me to sweep under the stairs but I did not because I was afraid of spiders
Have you ever felt as though you were unrecognizable to yourself?
Yeah, sometimes I look in the mirror and go, huh, I’m really in there
Are you bothered by any of your physical features?
Yes, I’m too fat and my nose and forehead are too big and my hair is too flat. I am also secondarily bothered by my eyes because glasses can get annoying and my legs being too short because it makes it hard to find pants
Are romantic relationships important to you at this point in your life?
Yes
Who was the last person to apologize to you for something they did?
My boyfriend for resigning a chess match when it seemed like I was winning
Bruises and cuts everywhere?
Bruises, I’m clumsy
Have you ever kissed someone with a tattoo?
Yes, my boyfriend has an ankle tattoo
What did you do today?
Had an interview, sweeped the garage, moved my bed, watched Harry Potter
What did you do last night?
Watched New Girl
Last night, you felt?
Tired
Will you regret your next kiss?
No
Ever had a guy best friend?
Jessie was one of my best friends for awhile, and John is probably one of my best friends although not best best
Is there a movie you’ve seen countless times?
Harry Potter
Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
No
How is your last ex doing?
I think ok?
Are you wearing a necklace, who got it for you?
No
Is there someone who can always make you smile?
No
Are you excited for anything?
Potentially getting a job but I don’t want to jinx it because it’s still up in the air
Anything you’d like to say to your ex?
Not really
Do you give up easily?
Depends on the thing and how invested I got
Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
I should hope so
Did you deny or accept your last friend request?
i think accept
Will you talk to someone on the phone tonight?
I did earlier
Are any of your friends taller than you?
Yes
How much money did you spend today?
I think none
Are you shy?
Yeah
Are you completely over the last person you kissed?
No, we are dating
Ever given your ALL to someone?
I’m not sure
Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough?
Yes
Last thing you had to drink?
Water
Do you ever just lay on the carpet in your house?
Sometimes to stretch
Do you prefer ice or no ice in your drinks typically?
Depends on the drink
Are you a lazy ass sometimes?
Yes
What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done lately?
I got kind of rambly in my interview
Do you ‘think out loud’?
Yeah
Do you take gummy vitamins?
Yeah
How do you know the majority of the people you know?
School
Are you one of those lucky people to own a walk-in closet?
No, I wish
Is there a random object you own that has a huge personal significance?
Lots of things
Do you use Google?
Yeah
Would you like to go swimming right now?
Not at the moment, although a hot tub might be nice
Can you play electric guitar?
No
Do you have an HDTV?
Yeah
When was the last time you drank something through a straw?
Earlier tonight I had hot chocolate
Have you ever tried to teach yourself a different language?
Kinda, but it works better in class
How long was your last phone call?
I facetimed with my boyfriend for a couple hours
Do you need to repaint your nails?
That might be fun
Has there ever been a horoscope that came true for you?
Probably, they’re so generic
Are you one of those people who chew two pieces of gum, not one?
No
Do you have a wall calendar?
I have one for marking when my period is due
Have you ever taken the pictures from a calendar and used them as posters?
I don’t think so
Can you handle the cold?
Unless it’s really cold
Have you ever been to Canada?
Only the airport
When was the last time you took a taxi somewhere?
I can’t remember. If you count uber, probably home from the grocery store
Would you ever join the army, air force or navy?
Hell no
How old is the person you last kissed?
24
Is there a friend that you can always rely on to get you out of a jam?
Not really
Have you ever tried to balance the light switch between off and on?
Yeah but it sounds like it’s fucking with the wires
Do you believe in ghosts/supernatural occurrences?
Not really
What was the most expensive thing you’ve broken?
I coughed up water on a laptop keyboard
Has anyone texted you yet today?
Yes, my mom, my boyfriend, my dad, and a former employer
Did you stay calm during the whole swine flu scare?
Yeah I don’t think I thought it was serious, I thought it was just like a regular flu
Is there a light on in the room you’re currently in?
Yes
Are your feet touching the floor?
One is
Have you ever been in a car accident?
My parents hit a deer once
Can you focus well in high-stress situations?
Not really
Without the aid of mascara, do you have long eyelashes?
They’re probably average
Is there a kind of music you listen to that helps you release your anger?
Fast sassy music
Are you one of those people who keep their feelings bottled up?
No
Is one of your friends extremely odd but you love them regardless?
We all are
Is there anyone you dread going into public with?
I dread being in public with anti maskers
Are you a victim of writing run-on sentences?
Not really
Graffiti: an art or an act of vandalism?
I generally think of it more as vandalism but there are some cool ones
Do you buy things online?
Too much
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Have the adults in your life been hassling you about making the most of high school in preparation for college? Maybe you’ve been nudged towards classes that will look good on your transcript or lovingly pushed in the direction of extracurriculars that lend themselves to impressive application essays?
If that sounds familiar, I want you to know: that’s not what this article is about.
There are so many things to do in high school but, in some cases, the preoccupation with using high school as a tool to get into college can make life miserable and activities unenjoyable.
But there is hope high school is about more than preparing for college. If you want to make good use of your high school years and prepare for college and have a good time, the tips below are for you.
1. PRACTICE GOOD TIME MANAGEMENT IN HIGH SCHOOL, SINCE IT’S LIKELY TO GET HARDER IN COLLEGE.
One of the reasons college is more stressful than high school? You’re more independent. And because you’re more independent, life in general requires better time management. You’ll have way more obligations and your professors are not going to chase you down to remind you about that deadline next week. Not only that but your parents won’t be just a few feet away and able to bug you when you slack off.
Using a calendar to track your day is an easy way to start managing your time a bit better. Some people prefer an old-school, pen-and-paper planner. Studies show that writing things down with your hand (rather than typing them onto a screen), makes you more likely to remember them.
But your paper planner can’t send reminders to your phone. If you prefer tech, you can’t go wrong with good ol’ Google calendar. (It’s what I use.) iCalendar is also great, or your parents might have a Cozi Calendar membership you can take advantage of.
Here’s what your calendar might look like:
Regardless of the type of calendar you use, here are a few basics of good time management:
Put tests, practices, events, meetings, appointments, project due dates, and days off into your calendar as soon as you find out about them—this could be as early as the first week of the semester when you get your syllabus. Once you know when something is due, decide how long it will take to do it. Work backwards and schedule time into your calendar to work on that project or study.
For example, if your science project is due on May 10th, you could allot one hour each day to work on it, May 1 - 9. Or maybe two hours every two days.
Make sure there’s space in your schedule for downtime and fun, too! If need be, block out time to see your friends or just binge that new Netflix show. That way, when someone asks you to help them study on Sunday afternoon, you can tell them you’re busy. Busy watching the new season of Game of Thrones, that is.
2. BALANCE YOUR STUDIES WITH LIFE
You know that colleges favor well-rounded applicants–people who volunteer and get good grades, test well and take part in their communities. But balancing your studies and life is about more than just creating a competitive college application.
Taking time away from your studies will invigorate you and activate different parts of your brain. Making art, playing soccer, or just going to a concert will recharge your mental batteries in a way that a 10-minute study break can’t. Participating in life outside of academics also boosts your creativity, increases your emotional intelligence, and helps you strengthen relationships.
And just as importantly–it’s fun.
Make time to get out of your books and into your life.
3. GET INVOLVED WITH ON-CAMPUS (AND OFF-CAMPUS!) ORGANIZATIONS.
High school is about more than GPAs and SATs; it’s often a place where you form lifelong friendships. And sometimes it’s easier to form those friendships when you see people outside of chemistry class.
Explore a few of your school’s organizations–try the debate club, Ultimate Frisbee, fencing, or student government. If your school doesn’t have any organizations that light your fire, try starting your own. Maybe lots of people would want to play Quidditch if you started a team?
If starting a school organization isn’t your style, explore the groups and organizations your community has to offer. Check out rec league sports, volunteer at the local animal shelter, or sing with your church’s choir.
Here are a few other ways to connect with people in your community:
Meetup.com: A website that allows users to create events and meetup groups in their local community around any topic you can imagine: Pick-up basketball games, book clubs, weekend, painting groups, mobile app developer meetup groups for girls. Have an interest? There’s probably a meetup for it. Don’t see it? Start your own!
Your local community center: You know that building in the park with all the flyers promoting rec league sports, town hall meetings, and litter pick ups? Poke your head in and see if there’s anything on the calendar that appeals to you. It’s a great way to get to know your neighbors.
Check out greatnonprofits.org to find a non-profit near you
Use the search feature at Idealist.org for even more.
Ask your counselor! There could be something coming up next week that you don’t even know about.
Connect with a local museum–many have teen programs and docent opportunities–or check with your local animal shelter, YMCA, temple, church, or synagogue.
Maybe even go back to your middle or elementary school and see how you can help.
4. GET TO KNOW YOUR TEACHERS
Fun fact: your teachers are real, actual humans who have senses of humor, hobbies, and interests outside of getting you to turn in your homework on time. Shocking, right?
One of the easiest ways to make the most of high school is to talk to your teachers and get to know them.
Stay after class and ask that question that seemed too in-depth for the rest of the class. Tell them you loved the last novel they selected and ask if they can recommend any similar books. Ask your Government teacher what she thinks of that bill that’s moving through Congress.
These conversations will give you deeper insights into the topics you’re studying and–bonus!– will probably (read: definitely) make it easier to get great teacher recommendations for your college applications.
5. TAKE CLASSES YOU LOVE, NOT NECESSARILY THE CLASSES YOU THINK WILL PLEASE YOUR PARENTS/GET YOU A GOOD JOB/MAKE YOU MONEY.
When you’re applying to competitive universities, it’s tempting to stuff your schedule with ‘impressive’ courses you think will look good on applications. AP Calc BC! AP Physics! AP Japanese!
If you truly want to take AP Calc or feel it will help with your dream of becoming a civil engineer, take AP Calc. But when you stack your schedule with classes you don’t really like and then use those classes as the basis of your college application, you’re setting yourself up for a pretty miserable academic experience.
6. PRIORITIZE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH AND LEARN HOW BEST TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
Real talk: college can be incredibly stressful. You’re juggling a challenging course load, applying for internships, working part time–all while living far from home with roommates you might not have chosen for yourself. Sounds like a recipe for disaster, right?
Use your slightly-less-stressful high school years to build good self-care habits. What does this look like? Well, it looks different for everyone, but these basics are a good start:
Get eight hours of sleep
Exercise 20 minutes each day
Drink enough (about half a gallon) of water per day
Limit social media use (and all the self-doubt that comes with it) by setting social media locks that shut you out after you’ve exceeded a certain time limit
Bonus Tip (if you have an iPhone): here’s how to make it work for you and not against you (one of my favorite productivity articles ever, btw)
Spending time with friends doing something other than studying or talking about college applications
Your high school experience doesn’t have to be a test run for college, filled only with test prep and ‘impressive’ classes. If you follow these tips, you can totally prepare for college while still enjoying high school.
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I’m back!! May I please be sorted into a dormitory? I try to be friendly and polite to strangers and to acquaintances. My rule is to show respect until they give me a reason no too. To my close friends, I become a lot more vulgar and loose lipped. I’m the friend that people go to when they need advice or when they need someone to vent too. I like feeling useful. I hate seeing people being upset. Is it obvious that I want to become a therapist? Psychology is pretty cool. (1/3)
Hello! Thank you for the ask and thank you SO MUCH for your patience!
Your heart shows me...Heartslabyul!
Your creativity and friendly nature makes you a perfect fit for Heartslabyul! Riddle was pleased to find that you were not only respectful, but also were good at following rules which is very important in this dorm. Your friendliness is appreciated in this dorm, not only by Riddle, but for those that are afraid of the prefect. Many students go to you for emotional support and counsel as there really isn’t anyone else they can go to (the school should really look into hiring a counsler now that I’m thinking about it). Although there are strict rules about diets, those are only on special occasions that you would have to eat differently, so you wouldn’t have a problem with finding food you already know! As for your small temper, it isn’t a problem as it seems that the other students seem to have tempers as well. Since you try to follow the rules most of the time, you’ll be okay if you have to bend one or two as long as Riddle won’t catch you! Being emotional is perfectly fine as well, there is nothing against being emotional in this dorm. As for the procrastination, as long as the work would get done in time, no one would have a problem with you waiting to do your work (I don’t think there is anything in the Queen’s rulebook about this, but correct me if I am wrong). You having a messy room wouldn’t be a bother, although Riddle or Trey might mention that it would be a good idea to tidy up a bit if they see it. It is great that you excel in history, science, and art classes, ESPECIALLY the art class! Someone needs to help Cater painting roses after all, so that would be a perfect side job for you! It’s alright that you aren’t good at P.E or English, none of the Heartslabyul dorms tasks have anything to do with those. Your creativity is very appreciated by any who would get to see your work as can be a breath of fresh air from the normal colors that they see everyday! Although the rules may be hard to keep up with, you’ll definately have a great time at this dorm!
Here’s what Riddle, Ace, Deuce, Trey, and Cater think of you! (This is going to be very long, so I’m sorry in advance!)
Riddle, as stated above, was glad to see that you show respect and know to follow rules. He was also happy that you are friendly to both the students and him as people usually are too nervous to talk to him. Riddle would definately go to you for emotional support, especially after a certain event at the end of Chapter 1 of the game (I didn’t say what actually happened to avoid spoilers for those who don’t know what happens, but i can edit it later if you want me to say what happens). As for the eating, Riddle will make sure that you would follow the rules and eat what was given to you on the special occasions, but if you absolutely could not eat it, he would most likely understand albiet a bit huffy. Since he is the prefect, he makes sure that everyone follows the rules and would be furious if one would be broken, but he would at least reprimand you if it was the first time he caught you instead of going straight to using his unique magic. Regarding your temper, he doesn’t mind too much as he has a major temper as well. Riddle doesn’t mind that your emotional, as he tends to be himself, and if you were sad then he would help talk you through it until your better. If he would catch you procrastinating, he would tell you not to wait until the last minute and offer to help you work on it. With having a messy room, Riddle would tell you to tidy up but if you don’t then he would stop telling you to. He was very happy to see you enjoy history, science, and art as he immediately placed you on rose painting duty with Cater. Riddle likes that you enjoy drawing and would sometimes watch you; he might even request that you draw a rose! You two might have a few bumps on the way, but you would grow into good friends!
Ace was pretty chill when you two first met, he liked how friendly you were and that you are respectful. It bugged him a bit how easily you followed the rules, but that’s just how Ace works. He would go to you for advice on things like what to text to his brother or grandmother and he would also go to you to vent if he’s mad at Riddle. He wouldn’t mind that you are picky and would even help smuggle some foods for you on those special occasions. If Ace would catch you bending a rule, he wouldn’t tell Riddle and would most likely join you for fun and to spite Riddle if he was annoyed at the prefect. With your temper, he has one too so he understands what it’s like. Ace is fine that your emotional, but if you are in a bad mood, he will do anything to make you feel better and would recommend playing some hedgehog croquet to cheer you up. He doesn’t care if you procrastinate; he does it himself all the time! Ace is also fine that your room is messy, he isn’t one to judge. He was pleased to find out that your good at history, science, and art, so he tends to go to you as a study buddy if he needs help. Ace enjoys watching you draw and likes sit in with you to just watch you for hours until you finish. If he would ask you to draw anything, it would probably be a heart with spikes on it. You two would have a close bond and would be good friends!
Duece was very polite when he first introduced himself to you and was happy to find out that you are friendly along with respectful. He also was glad you followed the rules as well as he wouldn’t want you to be in trouble with Riddle. He would go to you for support if he had a rough day at class or just needed someone to talk to if he needed to speak about a private matter. Duece understands that you are picky and tries to help out the best that he can like finding recipes for the foods you like and getting the ingredients for them. If he caught you bending the rule, he would advise against it but if you still would go through with it he would end up helping you so you both would take the blame and not you alone. Duece is alright with your temper, but he will try to calm you down so you won’t be upset. He is alright that you are emotional, but if you are sad then he would ask you to go on a walk with him to talk and cheer you up along the way. As for procrastinating, he tends to be guilty of it as well from time to time, but would go to you to work together if the deadlines for both of your projects matched up. Duece doesn’t mind that your room is messy, he is disorganized himseld, but he would offer to help clean it either with you or for you. He was very impressed that you excel at history, science, and art and would often come to you for homework help as his grades really need the assistance. He likes to watch you draw, but would ask first if it was okay to watch. If he would ask you to draw anything, it would be a spade with a checkered pattern. The two of you would become close friends with each other overtime!
Trey, as he is the vice-leader of the Heartslabyul dorm, was happy to see that you not only were respectful and followed rules, but you were also very friendly to them which he admires. He would recommend you to other students before even thinking about going to you himself as he would rather help others before himself. But he would go to you if he was overly stressed and needed to vent. He isn’t unfamiliar with picky eaters, as he has many younger siblings, and helps you as much as he can by helping you make your meals to suggesting different foods to Riddle when special occasions arise. If he caught you bending the rules, Trey would stop you immediately and reprimand you but he would leave you off the hook and not tell RIddle the first time it happens, but would tell you to not do it anymore. He takes the most care of Riddle as he is the vice-leader; so he is the most comfortable with tempers and wouldn’t be against yours, but he would help calm you down so you don’t get extremely angry. Trey perfectly understands that you are emotional and offers his support as well; if you are sad, he will help cheer you up by recommending different activities around the dorm and if that doesn’t work then he would sit and talk you through it. He wouldn’t like that you procrastinate, but he would help you get it done in a timely manner so you would have one less problem to think about. He doesn’t like that your room is messy and asks you regularly if you would tidy up, but knows that he can’t control everything you do and would stop asking after a while. He’s glad that you excel at history, science, and art; he sometimes sits in with you while you both would study so neither of you would be alone. He enjoys watching you draw and even tries to draw with you sometimes. If he would ask you to draw something, it would be a clover with a few little roses growing around it. You two would have a strong friendship and would have great trust in each other!
Cater was happy to meet you and was happier to see that you are respectful and follow rules, so Riddle won’t go too crazy! He also likes that you are friendly and would definately be friendly back at you. Cater would go to you for emotional support if he just needed a break or if he needed a good talk or advice. He’s fine that you are a picky eater and helps out when he is able to, like helping get rarer ingredients for the foods you like and cleaning around the kitchen so you wouldn’t have to. If he catches you bending a rule, he would say it’d probably end badly and try to stop you, but would most likely end up doing it anyway with you because he would be bored. He’s okay that you have a temper, but would give you some space to cool off before he would talk to you. Cater is alright that your emotional and if you feel sad, he will do everything in his power to cheer you up because he hates when his friends feel blue! He’s pretty nuetral with your procrastinating and he’ll offer to help out a bit if you need it. He also doesn’t care that your room is messy, his is a little bit disorganized too. Cater is impressed that your so good at history, science, and art and would come to you to get some advice on projects and to study together. He loves to sit in with you while you draw and enjoys talking while you work. If he would ask you to draw something, it would be a diamond in a few different colors. The two of you would have an interesting relationship, but become close friends!
I didn’t realize it would be this long, so I’m sorry again! Thank you again for your patience and I hope you enjoy your stay at the Night Raven College!
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Helloo !! I am also taking a gap year this year and normally I would've been super excited for it; I could've traveled and stuff... But now that it's finally happening, I feel scared. Seeing all of my friends start uni makes me feel as if I'm behind in life (which I know is entirely stupid because life is not a race.) I did get accepted into some programs that I'm not very interested in and now I feel pressured to start something just for the sake of "being in time". Did you feel like this too?
hey angel!! first of all, i’m so glad and happy that you’re taking a gap year! i know it’s not for everyone, but i really do recommend it to those who are maybe even infinitesimally considering it because it has so many benefits and can really make you realize a lot about yourself if you spend it correctly. i definitely understand where you’re coming from with that concern! i’d say that i’ve always known i wanted to take a gap year ever since sophomore year maybe when i would find myself zoning out during my classes and picturing myself riding a gondola in venice or when i stayed home from school when i was sick or just didn’t feel like going and would watch travel vlogs of santorini, venice, and so many other wonderful places. those experiences helped me to realize what i really wanted which was to take a break, to explore the world, and to just have a time where my days weren’t filled with stress, deadlines, homework, extracurriculars, anxiety about upcoming exams, and so on. i was also really uncomfortable with the education system and felt like it wasn’t teaching me anything that i was actually passionate about so i knew i also wanted to take some time off to learn about the topics and subjects that brings joy to my soul which is what i’ll be doing starting in a few days!
although i do understand that feeling of thinking that you’re behind your other classmates (and it did come across my mind a little bit while researching if i really wanted to go through with a gap year or not), i’ve always had this leader-like mindset (i think it’s because i’m a life path #1 tbh and i’ve never really enjoyed following the pack) and i just knew deep down that taking a gap year was the best choice for me and nobody and nothing else could convince me otherwise. i knew that, no matter what university i was going to be accepted to, i would request for a deferral of my admission and that’s exactly what i did and i’m so glad it worked out! i felt very grateful bcs i was accepted during early decision (which is a binding one so you have to attend the school no matter what) so i didn’t have to compete with other people who wanted to take a gap year after the pandemic became serious. most of my classmates that i graduated with have moved in to college now and i see their posts and stuff and, although yes it does bother me a little bit, it doesn’t really affect me that much bcs i just know that taking this year off is really going to do wonders for me and it actually already has.
so far, i’ve been able to spend more time with my family and i’ve been discovering some new passions and hobbies and, most of all, i’m also learning a lot about myself and have gotten a brighter vision of my future. if you’d asked me back in january about my future goals, it would be quite different than how i’d answer now and there were so many uncertainties with what i wanted to pursue and all that. now, i feel like everything’s clearer for me and this gap year is just going to be me becoming the best version of myself! i know that it might be difficult to shake off the feeling of being behind, but i will tell you that it really doesn’t matter when you do certain things; you can become anything and pursue anything at any age. the world is limitless. and i will tell you right now that, while your classmates are in university and having their unique experience, you will also have your own unique experience during your gap year that will be filled with unforgettable memories! by the way, if you’re in to it, i suggest keeping a journal to document all your experiences throughout the year; that’s what i’m gonna do and i feel like it’ll be so helpful!
overall, it definitely does bother me a little bit that i’m a year behind all of my peers and especially because i didn’t go to school for a whole year in the philippines so i was a year older than everyone in my graduating class and will be twenty when i enter college next year. however, i don’t like to think too much about that because, in the end, it really doesn’t matter. as long as you have goals set for yourself, you can achieve them at any time. i distinctly remember my mental health in high school being so terrible and i felt like just this machine that did the same thing every single day, but now at the onset of my gap year, i don’t feel like that anymore. i can see and feel myself improving and it’s the most beautiful thing ever. despite what other people may tell you or how you feel seeing others accomplishing things at your age, if you believe that taking this year off will be good and right for you and will help you with your goals in life, then you’ll know that no external forces matter!! plus, if it makes you feel better, i’m on this journey with you and you can always update me about your experiences and how life is going!! we’re officially gap year buddies now. honestly, i haven’t seen a lot of studyblrs on tumblr that are planning to take a gap year this year so i’m so glad that you reached out to me. i hope to hear a lot more from you, my dear anon!! i hope everything goes well for you!! 🤍✨
#anonymous#replies#gap year#i didn't expect for the response to be so long but i get hyped up dude kfjfksf#also i wasn't planning on answering my asks tonight bcs my head hurts so much and i'm overwhelmed but i'm doing it dude!#proud of myself
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With respect to my post about WIPs, I’m actually quite a perfectionist in certain branches of my life, as called-out by my therapist. I am trying to get over things needing to be perfect, that’s why I posted a wip that I would otherwise not have posted.
It’s really hard to let go of perfectionism when you have self-respect. It is like I want to do some things in the excellent standards that I am capable of, such as writing the greatest science article I can, focusing on my gene analysis project in the greatest detail and effort, writing the most lyric fanfiction I can come up with, being the perfect friend/best friend/partner to someone with “zero” toxic sides, being the perfect, considerate daughter to my parents, etc.
I don’t compare myself with others. I don’t feel like I’m not enough either. I just know I have some standards, high ones, that I want to keep since I am trying to live my best life. However, sometimes it holds me back to a serious extend. Like, if I miss a day of not working I’m ok, if I miss a week? Or a month? I feel like I can never recover and that I failed miserably as a scientist and I’d be just fooling myself if I studied again. As I noticed during therapy, this is probably a “nonrealistic thought pattern”, but well, it IS a thought pattern right now. There is no shame in accepting my difficulties, so I’m posting it here. I think this mindset of mine is flawed. But it’s the one I have right now and I’m working on the improving it.
I just want to achieve the greatest standards for myself because I “know” they are possible if I study idealistically. Moreover, I have a parental figure who taught me so. My father is a perfectionist of his own, except he can actually achieve the things he wants. He never, ever, EVER failed me, broke a promise, disappointed me or anything. Neither in his business life. He’s /always/ a man of his word and if he says he’ll do something, he does it. My dad is... well, not your “typical” guy. He’s actually quite famous in his own area, well known and admired too. He never acts cocky out of it though, to the point it shockes me. Anyway. I’ve been raised by this exroverted, natural leader, charismatic overachiever with an utmost dedication to his parenting at every cost, so what I see— from my dad is that, if I work really hard I can keep my standards. It’s just that I’m not as mentally strong as my father. Sometimes being productive or more analytic or more stick-to-goals is easier for him. Which is ironic because he is 50 already, when I’m 21, I mean, I’m younger, but he is the excited, aspiring, inspiring one to be around. I just don’t know. I want to handle things as greatly as he does. To never break a promise I made, to always be on time to my meetings, to always done my work before deadline, to not procrastinate things, to work out regularly, to take care of myself mentally and physically, to have a business own my own, etc, etc, etc. Because I honestly think that’s admirable and respectful and I just love people like that. They have respect to themselves and people around them because they can do neat work, both in personal & professional life.
Yet sometimes this fear of “missing” a week or two makes me feel so guilty and paralysed and angry at myself that it’s impossible to move until I have barely 2-3 days to deadline. I hate it when it happens. I’m so done with it. I’m fine with minor imperfections on life (food not cooked at best, typo on text etc) but THIS level? It breaks my functionality. I hate it. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of constantly thriving to be better, not because I don’t feel enough but because I find myself worthy to have more. But I think this mindset of mine is flawed because the end results are procrastination, stress and misery (and a neat work but well, emotional burden). That’s why, next time I have therapy I will bring this up. I want to solve this issue. I want to more forward. I don’t want to be burdened by this mindset. I want myself to know that it is alright to be imperfect. But not in a way that just says “screw it”. I want to be perfect at work and shit still. God. Science is so... fucked up too, like. Scientists are expected to be perfect more than any other job genre because we are supposed to lay out “facts”. The psychological pressure is a lot too. Fucking hell, this job. Anyway. Thing is. I’m just writing them here because I learnt that writing your thoughts out helps to figure out your next path. Mental health journals are recommended, I have one I occassionally write too, but why post there when I can just post to tumblr in which I may get to share them with people who may be struggling on similiar things so they know they aren’t alone? I mean, I made this blog mostly to talk about my fanfics, so this is not the main focus of my blog and I’m not trying so hard to be heard, I’m fine, really, but I’ll just make a minimal effort to add perfectionism to the hashtags in case any perfectionist over achievers out there are looking for company to let go of this annoying habit.
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Being burnt out means you're probably feeling exhausted, unmotivated, unfocused and just generally "blegh" - an absolute nightmare when you're trying to stay on track with school and studying. I've suffered from academic burn out a lot but it's now something I know how to cope with, I've compiled my best tips and tricks for dealing with a burn out and how to ease yourself back into your studying!
HEADING TOWARDS A BURN OUT
You can probably feel yourself veering off track, getting a little distracted and becoming a bit exhausted - sounds like you might be on your way to burn out city. Here's my tips on how to avoid burning out:
Don’t ignore your basic needs:
I know it sounds stupid but there's basic human needs that you need to fulfil in order to function like a normal being. You have to sleep, you have to eat and you have to stay hydrated.
It's easy to miss a few hours of sleep or skip a meal here or there when you have a lot on your plate, but if you make sure you're incorporating a healthy amount of sleep, food and drink you'll be amazed at how much better you're feeling!
Learn how to say no:
If you're prone to academic burn out, you're probably an over-achiever and if you're an over-achiever, you probably over-commit yourself (like all the time). If you find you've spread yourself too thin, take a minute to reflect. Rain-check on some plans you've made, reschedule a meeting or two.
Accepting new commitments or responsibilities also means accepting new stresses and time constraints to your daily life. Learn to say no, you'll thank yourself later.
Mindfulness and thinking positive:
I know what you're thinking…"wishy washy blah blah blah, think happy thoughts and rainbows will shoot out your bum". Nope, not at all. I hate wishy washy, so I'll be real with you. Scheduling time into your daily routine just to be mindful is a simple but super effective way to make yourself feel fresh and looked after.
Being mindful can come from all sort of activities: drawing, meditating, colouring, baking…pretty much anything you fancy! My personal go-to is meditating, it gives you time to remove yourself from the stress you're feeling and you're carefree for a while. Now, meditating isn't the easiest hobby to just pick up and go so I'd definitely recommend an app that guides your meditation and keeps you in a mindful mindset - my personal favourite is called Oak! I use Oak for 10 minutes each day and really does lift a huge weight off my shoulders. Give it a try.
Exercise:
Exercise is an amazing stress reducer, whether you like it or not. Now I'm not going to convince you to join a gym or run 5k every day because that's just not realistic, is it? But learning some small exercises and implementing little bursts of them throughout your day will make you feel loads better.
Here's some small exercise hints and tips to incorporate into your daily routine: choose the stairs over an elevator at least once a day; park your car further away from school/get off a bus stop early so you have to walk more than usual; stretching your legs, arms and torso when you're sat at a desk for a while!
GOING THROUGH A BURN OUT
Let me start by saying I am so sorry you're going through a burn out, it's crappy and it's not fun but it will get better. Here's some tips for if you're feeling totally frazzled and in need of some TLC.
Don’t ignore your basic needs:
I know I've already spoken about this so I won't repeat myself… but seriously, drink some water, take a nap and eat your greens.
Let your teachers know:
I know it can feel daunting, having to let your teachers know you're having a hard time but you absolutely, positively, 100% need to. If a teacher knows you're not doing well, they will ease the pressure off you a little and they will offer you some support in terms of the academic side of your burn out. They might even recommend applying for extended deadlines, so you have all the time you need to complete any assignments. Teachers aren't monsters, they understand and they've probably been in the same situation you're in right now. Keep them updated with how you're doing, they're on your side!!
Practice realistic self-care:
By realistic I mean I'm not just going to tell you to have a bath and eat your favourite chocolate (even if that would be absolutely amazing).
Self-care is holding yourself accountable. It's getting really mundane things done because you've procrastinated them for a week while you wrote a paper. It's often the ugliest things you have to do.
Take care of your skin
Do a deep cleanse, exfoliate, face mask - the lot! If you've been too focused on your studies, you probably forgot to look after your face. You'll feel refreshed, super soft and ready to take on some more tasks
Wash your damn dishes!
If you're living alone, like me, it's very easy to let your dishes pile up when you're consumed by work. Wash them!!! You don't want flies or whatever other bugs are attracted to that week-old lasagne dish.
Take a shower, you probably smell
Again, you've probably neglected your hygiene. Taking a good, long shower can feel like you're washing all of your stresses and worries off and down the drain. Take some extra time to do a hair treatment or to shave (if that's your thing). You'll feel like a new person afterwards.
Get some fresh air
Humans needs fresh air, period. If you've been cooped up, writing papers and cramming for finals then you need some fresh air. Open a window, let the fresh air circulate through your room. Go for a walk to your local shop (maybe buy some chocolate), or head to the nearest park. Just take a few minutes to stop and breathe.
Do your laundry
There is nothing more comforting than warm, clean clothes straight out of a tumble drier. Stick some washing on, do some ironing, straighten up your wardrobe a bit. You're tackling some pretty mundane chores but there's nothing quite like the smell of freshly cleaned clothes.
GETTING BACK ON TRACK AFTER A BURN OUT
Getting back on track after a burn out can feel like you're about to jump right back into the deep end and start drowning again, let's not do that, let's get you back to where you need to be, in a way that's not going to overwhelm you!
Time planning:
This is where your main focus should be - time, time, time!
Planning and allocating time to tasks (even the simplest of tasks, like eating or showering) can help you feel organised and accomplished when you get to tick them off!
You can time-plan however you'd like - a weekly schedule, a daily to-do list or a monthly overview! Everybody works better under different time constraints and that's okay, find what time scale works best for you and stick to it.
Super-duper decaffs pro tip: tick off things on your schedule once you've done them, it's going to make you feel all fuzzy inside and will spur you on to complete more tasks (actually scientifically proven, I'm not bullshitting you).
Arrange a meeting with your teachers:
Hopefully, you contacted your teachers when you were feeling burnt out so they're kind of in the loop. When you feel like you're ready to get back on track, contact them again and let them know. They can probably set up meetings with you to make sure you're keeping on track, avoiding another burn out. They can also suggest some more personalised tips on how to get back on track with your studies.
Don’t rush yourself:
Getting back to your usual self after a burnt out period can take time, so don't get frustrated when you're not back and kicking ass after a few days. Take time to practice all of the tips in this post, take time to look after yourself so you can avoid heading back to that awful place.
I know this post isn't massive, but I could honestly sit here all day and write about burn out. Hopefully, you can take at least one of these tips and apply it to your own life :-))
Happy studying x
#decaffs#masterpost#self help#self care#tips#resources#burn out#burnout#stress#studyblr#study#college#uni#university#grades#studygram#revise#plan#school#graduate#stationery#notes#note taking#psych#psychology#academic#organisation#organization#diary#bujo
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Applying to medical school
I’m now a third year medical student (eek) and thought I’d do a bit of updated reading into applications, along with using my own experience to make a post all about applying to med school (undergrad) in the UK :D
Grade requirements
Medicine is hugely competitive so this drives grade requirements up. Having said that, universities put a lot of emphasis on you as a person, so it’s not all about having the most A*s.
Different universities put different emphases on different grades. Some focus more on GCSEs than A-Levels for their filtering systems when selecting for interview (e.g. Oxford) - and vice versa
Universities often specify grades in certain subjects at GCSE (e.g. asking for As in maths/sciences).
The best advice is to check the university’s own website for their specific requirements for GCSEs, A-Levels/IB etc. and how they use this in their selection process.
The general A-Level offer is AAA, but quite a few universities requiring A*AA now, and Cambridge requires A*A*A.
The university of Buckingham (private), Kent and Medway (new from 2020) and UCLAN require AAB
Some universities also offer AAB for some applicants with specific contextual markers (e.g. from a school with below average performance, certain postcodes).
Personal statement
I have a whole other post on “How to write a bomb ass personal statement” for anyone generally (not medicine specific) - find that here
The medical personal statement is a bit different from other subjects, and the content will vary depending on which universities you are applying to.
Generally you want to include some evidence as to your consistent interest and commitment to medicine. This can be in the form of regularly volunteering at a care home, or being a supporter of a charity. Work experience also shows clear interest, especially if you can write something that shows you went beyond just turning up (e.g. researched or went and read a book on a condition you saw there).
Many medical schools also want to know about your interests and hobbies - to show that you are a rounded person. The exception here is Oxbridge; if you are applying to either Oxford or Cambridge I would recommend having a more academic-heavy personal statement.
I included a sentence on playing saxophone in bands/orchestras to grade 8, and a sentence on being in my city’s youth council - but I think everything else related to volunteering/books/work experience etc. (I did write quite a few sentences on my blog as that is also related to medicine/motivation etc.)
I’d recommend not opening with some profound quote or “I realised I wanted to be a doctor aged 3 when holding my baby sister after she’d been in ICU” etc. cause that won’t set you apart - the admissions team will have seen it all before.
It is important to look at the university admissions site as their selection criteria changes often! When I applied Bristol medical school weighted the statement 70% in selection for interview BUT from 2019 they no longer use it AT ALL before giving offers out (unless candidates have identical scores at interview)
Work experience and volunteering
All medical schools like to see some form of volunteering or experience - they want to know that you have had exposure to the NHS/heath provider environment and actually enjoy it.
However, it is is hard to get experience in a hospital and on a ward (there are legalities up to 16 about going on wards) so it isn’t necessary.
I got experience on a hospital ward through my mum’s friend who is a doctor. I suggest using your contacts - most of you will either have a (distant) family member who is a dr/nurse/midwife etc. or know a friend who knows one!
While on work experience use your lunch break (or any spare time) to write down interesting things you've seen. This doesn’t have to be scientific and about patients; it could be about the dr’s bedside manner, or the organisation and teamwork between the different health professionals.
If you can’t get onto a ward then care homes are usually happy to have volunteers. I volunteered at a special needs children’s daycare, which was super fun and useful for my application - so do some research about volunteering opportunities near you.
Your volunteering is useful to show you are reliable and dedicated, so the earlier you start (and longer you carry on doing it) the better! Try and start somewhere as soon as you’re 16 (as often a lot of places require “over 16″).
Extra-curricular activities and hobbies
Medical schools love to see that you are a ‘rounded’ candidate with interests outside simply studying and medicine. It’s important to get this across to the person reading your personal statement/interviewer as they want to accept people who are gonna be an asset to the university, not workaholics.
This doesn’t have to be the classic sport and/or musical instrument hobby (although these are brilliant and you should definitely shout about them). Mention being interested in photography or blogging! I mentioned my Tumblr in my personal statement and was asked about it at the interview stage.
It is good if you can use you extra-curricular activities to demonstrate something about yourself - e.g. blogging regularly shows that you can be committed and consistent; being in the local youth council shows you are reliable and have interest in the local community. This is a good way to show your best qualities.
University choices
Applications to uni through UCAS involve making 5 choices. You can fill up to 4 options with medicine, and the remaining choice can be left empty or filled with another course. It is common for people to fill this with a biomedical degree or to leave it blank, but you can go completely off-piece if you want.
It is so so important to be strategic with your choices. This requires some reading into how universities weight different aspects of the application process (admission tests, grades, personal statement) when selecting for interview.
E.g. if you score well above average in the UCAT it would be sensible to apply to one or two (or all!) universities that weight this heavily when selecting for interview. Newcastle only looks at UCAT prior to interview, simply ranking the scores and inviting the top people for interview. Therefore, if you score well they are ‘banked’ interviews already!
UCAT (UKCAT)
The UCAT (UKCAT) is the University Clinical Aptitude Test which is required by the majority of UK medical schools (and for dentistry).
It is taken between July and October (before application) and consists of multiple choice questions completed on a computer in a registered centre (I did mine where I did my driving theory test - there are loads of places).
The name changed this year from UKCAT - but the content of the test has stayed the same. See more information here
Verbal reasoning - 44 questions in 21 minutes
Decision making - 29 questions in 31 minutes
Quantitative reasoning - 36 questions in 24 minutes
Abstract reasoning - 55 questions in 13 minutes
Situational judgement - 69 questions in 26 minutes
There is no negative marking so you may as well put something down for every question - leave nothing blank!
The results are printed as you finish the test. This is the advantage over the (October) BMAT - you have a lot of time to think about your result and where it falls in the distribution of scores generally. If you do above average it is worth applying to unis that weight UCAT strongly, and if you don’t do so well you can apply to BMAT unis or those that weight it less.
The student room always has huge chats about it - this can be helpful to you to see where you lie (ish cause obviously not everyone posts there) but can also stress you out, so be cautious with this!
Your result is only valid for the year you apply, so if you take a year out after results and re-apply, you will have to re-take the test.
It costs £65 for tests between 1 July and end of August, and £87 for tests in Sept/Oct, so better to do it earlier! This also gives you more time to think about where to apply with results in hand.
BMAT
The BMAT (BioMedical Admission Tests) is a test required by a few unis in the UK. For the full list see their website.
I have a more detailed post about the BMAT here. Where I talk about resources you can use to revise and the exam content. Essentially it is a 2-hour pen-on-paper test that consists of 2 MCQ sections and 1 essay.
BMAT can be taken in August or October. The advantage of taking the test in August is that you get to know the results prior to sending off your UCAS application, so you can (as with UCAT) be strategic about where you apply.
Oxford is the only university (UK) that only accepts the October sitting of the test - aka you will not know your result before sending in your application.
However Oxford does accept the August sitting if you apply to graduate medicine (A101).
Deadlines
Unlike most applications to university via UCAS, your deadline for application is the 15th October at 18:00 (GMT) of your final year of school (or the year before you want to begin studying)
The earlier deadline is in line with applications to Oxford, Cambridge and to veterinary science and dentistry.
If you want anyone to look over the personal statement (e.g. get your English teacher to check grammar) then get onto them early - ideally as soon as you get back to school from summer.
Also make sure that your school is fully aware that you are going for early entry, and that your reference is written well in advance so there is no last minute rush or confusion.
The last UCAT deadlines are published each year on their website. The end of registration is usually mid September and last test is early October, so make sure you’ve registered and booked a test in time!
The August BMAT test occurs right at the end of August (31st 2019), with registration closing early-mid August. The October test occurs after the UCAS deadline, with registration closing end of September/beginning of October (see website for exact dates).
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so social distancing has naturally given me a lot more time to read and i’ve just recently finished “In at the deep end” by Penelope Janu. i apparently needed a few days to stew in my eMOtions because bOY DO I HAVE SOME FUCKIN OPINIONS(TM)
- the tl:dr version is this book is absolute Trashfire and i hated it
- for more opinions, please do continue
- i originally picked up this book (long before being confined to my house, for the record, i was just far too optimistic about having the time to read it back then) bc the cover claimed it was a ‘quick-witted romantic comedy about losing your cool’ (spoiler alert: it is not)
- the back was also an interesting premise: she is a feisty explorer/geography teacher, he is a badass norwegian navel officer, her boat sinks and she nearly drowns bc she can’t swim. he rescues her and will help fund a new ship if he teaches her how to swim
- so u got the perfect ‘let me teach u this skill and while we’re at it lets fall in love’ trope and hOW DOES THIS BOOK MANAGE TO MESS THAT UP
- LETS START WITH WHERE IT GETS PROBLEMATIC
- girl wants to go to palau island on the new ship they fund. dudebro will ONLY let her go if she learns how to swim. he is the one who will determine her ‘readiness’ to swim. he is the one who will be teaching her.
- DUDEBRO ISN”T EVEN IN CHARGE OF THE SHIP???? WHY DOES HE GET TO DECIDE????
- book also tries to pull the ‘enemies to lovers’ trope by having the two main characters literally hate each other but forgets the all important FRIENDS step thats supposed to happen in btwn so basically u hate the very ship ur supposed to be shipping
- reason girl cannot swim is bc of a trauma in which the car she was in crashed into water. her mother drowned and her father was seriously injured and later died in this event
- girl suffers from SEVERE phobic symptoms of water. she cannot touch water, or even think of putting her head under without suffering panic attacks, migraines, and vomiting. it is clear that this girl needs psychological help to get over her phobia
- DOES THE BOOK EVER TOUCH ON THIS???? NO IT FUCKING DOES NOT WHAT IS THERAPY ONLY THE POWER OF BONERS CAN CURE HER APPARENTLY
- dudebro even says at one point “i don’t think you have post-traumatic stress, yadda yadda why can’t u do this??????” LIKE ARE U A FUCKIN PSYCHOLOGIST??? NO UR FUCKING NAVY GO BACK TO THE NORWEGIAN SEA U IMBECILE
- while we’re at it are u even qualified to teach someone how to swim?????? I know ur navy and shit which i guess includes knowledge of swimming but just bc i cook a mean pasta for dinner doesn’t mean i’m fuckin gordon ramsey????
- as he teaches her how to ‘swim’ book tries to make it that they have this undeniable cHeMIStrY but bc these characters also Hate(TM) each other you end up hating both of them
- like she even has to tell him ‘i do not want to be touched inappropriately by u’ which is supposed to come off as Sexy and ‘ooooh the tension is so WILD they can’t keep their hands off each other!!!’ but instead comes off as creepy and like he’s a predator
- dudebro also has the personality of a potato
- the first time they have a sexual encounter, there is NO consent???? literally they are arguing and he reminds her of the rule she made about not touching her. he doesn’t want to have sex and suggests they meet the next day. she says no, purposefully angering him into breaking the rule and saying (AND I QUOTE) “You wanted this, so you can’t accuse me of acting inappropriately. Is that understood?”
- I”M SORRY THATS NOT HOW CONSENT WORKS?????????????????
- they also don’t label their sexual encounter as “””sex””” bc it wasn’t P-in-V like mmmmmkay
- by this point i hate the book and am slowly descending into Madness but am determined to see it to the end, so carry on reading i go
- eventually, we get to the point where it’s nearly the deadline where she has to know how to swim and so far, she can only sit in water that is waist deep. girl is SUFFERING and yet somehow she still never goes to a therapist?????
- even tho she’s been struggling to even SIT in water, she suddenly decides one day fuck it, i’m gonna just dive in the deep end and put my head under??? (it reads like its supposed to be a clever tie in to the title, but reality is its really inconsistent with her progress!)
- SOMEHOW THE MAGIC OF FUCKING BONERS HELPS HER PUT HER HEAD UNDER?????
- DUDEBRO LITERALLY SAYS “Breathe. Through. Me,” (direct quote) AND THEY ROMANTICALLY KISS UNDER THE WATER????? LIKE THIS GIRL WAS VOMITTING AT THE THOUGHT MERE DAYS AGO
- like i am in no way an expert in phobias and PTSD but like i’m like FAIRLY certain this this isnt supposed to be how they work??????????
- idk what this says about our author Ms Penelope here, but i literally lost count the amount of times she writes about the girl’s “erect nipples”
- she is also obsessed with calling dudebro an ‘action hero’ like wE GET IT HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE A DREAMY BUFF DUDEBRO WHO CAN BENCH-LIFT CARS AND SHIT
- the first time they have sex(TM) they get real weird with the idea of contraception. they’ve only known each other a few months at this point, they are not even officially together yet and THIS is the interaction they have:
“I don’t have a condom.”
“You’re a commander. You should be better prepared.”
“I bet you’re not on the pill.”
“No.”
“So you want to have a baby straight away?”
- WHAT THE FLYING FUCK????? WHO SAYS THAT TO SOMEONE THEY’RE HAVING SEX WITH FOR THE FIRST TIME???? the conversation is awkward and about as sexy as donald trump in a bikini
- at this point i want to hurl myself into the Abyss
- anyway, book plays up the trip to palau as her big goal she’s working towards. somehow, she magically manages to learn to swim with like a week to go or something (AGAIN HOW???) dudebro says she’s not “””””ready””””” tho and bans her from going anyway ? ? ?
- this shows how throughout the whole book, these characters have NOT had a healthy relationship. their every interaction clearly shows that dudebro has a LOT more power over the girl and this power imbalance makes u hate the ship ur supposed to be rooting for
- anyway blah blah PLot ShiT girl gets to go on the trip, but when we do get to the trip, literally none of it is covered????? it’s like one(1) sentence saying she gets to go and then pages about how she misses dudebro
- U WERE PLAYING THIS UP TO BE THE BIG CLIMAX TO THE STORY, THE BIG TRIP WE DESERVE TO SEE I AM RAGING BY THIS POINT
- im fuckin tired, story ends with the girl “surprising” dudebro on his mission in Antarctica and them saying they’ve fallen in love and other bullshit, neither of them has grown as a character, i hate them both and all in all this book is utter tRASH 0/10 WOULD NOT RECOMMEND
- like, Penelope........................GIRL................look I just wANT TO HAVE SOME WORDS(TM) thAT”S ALL
- THANK U 4 READING, I HOPE YALL HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY IN ISOLATIONx
- PS. IF I EVER SEE THE WORDS ‘ERECT NIPPLES’ AGAIN I WILL FUCKIN FLIP A TABLE
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