#i think the 'youre so mean' one would go better w jim but here we are
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K&J x MMSS 4: Valen & Jim Part 3
Part three of the fourth crossover with @whumpsday!
K&J masterlist
MMSS masterlist
K&J x MMSS crossover masterlist
To be added to the taglist, contact @whumpsday
Warnings: Some dehumanization and references to abuse
In this chapter: Mutual emotional support
***
Valen thanks the store employee for their help one more time before running out, making his way back to his apartment quickly.
Jim is glad he doesn't have to deal with Valen's frankly terrifying driving on top of all this. And honestly, he kind of likes being carried when it's by someone he doesn't have to be afraid of. He rests against Valen's chest as they make their way back, trying to calm down.
He's steadier on his feet this time when he's set on the floor. "Guess I'll get started on my food, and... still the border after?" he asks tentatively.
"Of course, dear Jim. Or, if you prefer, we can rest here until morning and leave during the day, when we won't run into anyone else."
Jim has mixed feelings about the offer. On one hand, he wants to get home as soon as possible. But on the other, going out at night again sounds terrifying. But... "Would that be okay for you? You'll still be able to see, and won't get burned and stuff? I mean, you were fine earlier, I guess." He considers. "If you think it's safer. You’d know, I guess.”
"I do think it might be safer to hunker down here until dayfall. Perhaps I can just let you drive the car, since I won't be able to see well."
“Sounds good,” Jim agrees. “What can I use to cook this stuff?"
Valen sheepishly offers his very small kitchen for Jim to use. He has no stove–he hadn't made sure to get one that had such a fixture, not having any use for it–but he does have a microwave, and he does offer to let Jim use a Bunsen burner if he really wants open flame.
The image of using a bunsen burner to cook a meal is exactly what Jim needed to ease the tension after their encounter. “I think I’ll pass,” he decides. He’ll make do as best he can with the microwave.
Valen watches Jim prepare his food with fascination. He points to one of the apples. "Would it be all right with you if I tried some of this? I'm curious."
Jim grabs the knife he’s used to open his can of beans and slices off a bit of apple. "Knock yourself out." He tosses the piece to Valen, munching on the rest of it as he tries to figure out how to prepare the rest of his food.
Valen tentatively nibbles on the apple slice. It tastes a bit like eating dirt. He immediately spits it back out. "Oh...oh my. I do think you can have the rest of this. Consider my curiosity officially sated."
Jim chuckles. "Yeah, bet I'd be the same if I tried blood."
He eats his meal. It's kind of shitty by regular standards, especially compared to the exquisite things he'd been preparing for himself at Kane's, but after more than 2 days without food, it tastes incredible. He devours it ravenously. "This is so good. Thanks for the shopping. Sorry I can't pay you back or anything. I mean, if there's anything you need done before it's time to go, I can help around? Not like I've got any appointments to make."
Valen laughs. "You needn't worry about it or trouble yourself. I don't have to work a job, so I have nothing better to do than whatever suits my fancy."
The phone rings. "I wonder if that's your sister." He picks it up. "Hello?"
By the look on Valen's face, Jim can tell it isn't Liz. Valen’s face crumples. "Oh, hello. Yes, I understand. Yes." He does not speak much, just sitting there looking more and more morose, face getting darker and darker, occasionally interjecting a "Yes, sir," or "I'm sorry, sir." He's crying by the time he hangs up the phone.
Jim quickly grows concerned as Valen speaks. As soon as he hangs up, he approaches and grabs Valen's hand with a gentle squeeze. "Hey, what's wrong? You okay?"
Valen wipes his eye on his sleeve. "Yes, I'm okay. Thank you. That was just–that was just my husband, who isn't pleased I 'made a scene in public.'"
Jim winces. He can gather this whole “husband” deal isn't a happy marriage to begin with: one of the first things Valen said to him was maybe I should go by my maiden name, after all. "I'm sorry. Your husband sounds like a dick. You deserve better," he tries to console.
Valen smiles. "Thank you. I know. It's why I live here, instead of with him. I've been trying to convince him to finally just divorce me, but it isn't really working." He kneads his hands. "He insisted I return you to your 'rightful owner,' because if word gets out about how I 'stole' you, he's concerned the rest of the nobility will get it in their heads that the Kithrara family is going to steal their humans as well and tarnish our lovely reputation." He wipes his other eye, sniffling. "I told him I would, but obviously I'm not actually going to. By the time he finds out I lied, you'll be over the border and out of harm's way. I don't think he knows my new address anyway. I'm not sure how he got my new phone number."
"Oh,” Jim says, suddenly terrified to his bones. "Are–are you sure we should wait until morning? Is waiting around here until then, um, s-safe?" He can't stop his voice from wavering, the idea of being dragged back to Kane implanting itself in his mind. "Thank you. For protecting me."
"Of course. I said I would let no harm come to you, and I meant it." He gives a heavy sigh. "If you would prefer not to wait, we can go now. That may be safer, given that word has somehow made it back to the Kithrara family already." He stands up and rifles through the closet for a water bottle. "Go ahead and pack whatever you'd like to take."
The only thing Jim has to his name is the last undevoured apple. He grabs it. "I'm good to go."
There's an insistent pounding at the door.
Jim's eyes go wide and he cowers against a wall at the sound. He looks to Valen, shaking his head, terrified. Whoever’s at the door, he doubts they’re here for anything good. Even if they are, they can’t see him, not when he’s stolen property.
Valen silently comes over and grabs Jim's arm, wordlessly dragging him into the bedroom and shoving him into the closet, under all his clothes amidst his boots, and pulls the closet shut. He quickly bundles up any signs that Jim was here and tosses them into the bedroom, then shuts the bedroom door.
He smooths his hair down, straightens his shirt, forces his gait to slow down, and approaches the door, cracking it open slightly. "Hello? Who's there?"
Who's there is a very pissed-off Kane de Sang, the first one Anton told. "Kane de Sang. You have my human," he announces with a glare.
Valen creeps slightly more behind the door. "I'm afraid I don't anymore. I took him straight to the border after your brother saw us. He's long gone."
"What? You've got to be fucking kidding me!" Kane shouts. "This is great. Just fucking great. You couldn't have tried your hippie bullshit on someone else's human? Your husband has thousands of them!"
"I apologize, Mr. de Sang, sir," says Valen. "But seeing as how we have no more business to discuss, I'll take my leave. Goodbye." He shuts the door right in Kane's face, praying that Kane will just take him at face value and leave.
Kane screams in fury, kicks the wall of Valen's apartment hard enough to leave a dent, and storms off. He knows that harassing a fellow noble, especially when Valen doesn't have his human anymore, won't get him any points with his family.
When Valen comes back for Jim, he's curled up in a little ball under a pile of clothes, shaking and crying.
"Sh," Valen says, taking his hand, crouching and offering him a tissue. "You're okay. He's gone."
Jim wipes his face with the tissue, gripping Valen's hand tight. "He was m-mad." he blubbers. "Never good. Always hurts when he's mad."
Vales smiles, gently stroking Jim's hair. "He can go be directionlessly mad out in public if he wants to. You're not at the whim of his moods anymore. He's already taken it out on the hallway wall, which I'm sure takes a beating much better than you do. I'll be informing the landlord who exactly it was who caused the damage. I'm sure he'll love getting a bill for repairs."
Jim shudders under Valen’s touch at the thought of Kane getting even angrier. "Haven't even gotten a full-on beating in like, a year. Used to get 'em all the time, but I've been good lately. Up until all this." He takes a deep, shaky breath. He likes the feeling of Valen petting his hair, not pulling violently like Kane does. "Your husband's got thousands of humans?"
Valen's face falls. "Ah...you heard that." He withdraws his hands.
"Kinda hard not to, he was yellin' so loud. Only heard his part."
"Are you sure you want me to tell you about it? I think it would upset you."
Jim hesitates. "Maybe not, then." It’s not like knowing would change anything.
"Rest assured I want no part of my husband's horrid business. Well, I convinced Kane I already dropped you off at the border. If he'd stopped to think instead of just getting angry at the drop of a hat, he probably would have realized I likely wouldn't have had time to get all the way to the border and back in the time since Anton saw us at the store, haha... Well, do you still want to leave right away, or wait till daybreak?"
"I don't know. I don't know. I'm scared." Jim starts crying again. "M-maybe now? Unless you think it's not safe?"
Still kneeling on the floor, Valen pulls him close, hugging him. "Sh, sh, it's all right. It's all right to be scared, but you're safe. Tell you what." Valen crawls into the closet beside him, his jackets brushing against his head, and pulls the door shut. "I'll sit with you right here until you calm down, how's that sound?"
"Heh. Back in the closet for both of us, I guess," Jim jokes through his tears, resting his head on Valen's shoulder. "Just, I've just never been this close before. Only got 10 minutes out the first time, didn't even get out the back gate the second time. I've only got this one shot. I'm so scared of fucking it up and spending the rest of my life as his damn chewtoy."
Valen savors the feeling of Jim's head on his shoulder, letting the comment about in the closet sink in. After a moment, he gently strokes Jim's closest hand. "You're not going to fuck it up. I'll physically fight him off if I have to. You're going to get out of here if I have anything to say about it. My conscience wouldn't let me live with it if I let that happen to you. Everyone deserves to feel safe."
"Thank you. You're the best, Valen. Literally, meeting you is the best thing that's ever happened to me." Jim keeps taking deep breaths until they start to come out less shaky.
Valen keeps his hand steady on Jim's until he seems a bit calmer. "There. Now would you like to talk about when we'll be leaving? I think it should be safe to either stay here or leave right away, but if we wait till sunrise, we know for sure he won't be lurking around."
"Let's wait," Jim agrees. "Better to not take chances and all. Thanks for helping me calm down and stuff."
"You're very welcome. Well, we have a few hours, then. Would you like to watch a movie or something?"
"Yeah. I really, really would."
***
Tag list:
@barebarb
@cc1010foxy
@emcscared-whumps
@hurtpluscomfort
@jakersdaboss
@lolrpop
@melancholy-in-the-morning
@pigeonwhumps
@secretwhumplair
@some-thrilling-heroics
@t0rture-me
@thecyrulik
@thejinglingcourtjester
@vehan-tikkun-olam-and-stuff
@whuarri
@whump-cravings
@whump-my-heart-away
@whumpycries
@wolfeyedwitch
@whump-addict
@why-not-ask-me-a-better-question
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Food on the Table (Frenchie/Izzy, post-S2E2, warning for cannibalism)
Prompt: 100 words of consensual cannibalism
It takes four days before the rest of them are willing. Izzy would have done it after one—no proper resupply means their rations have been fucked for weeks, and they’ve been scraping by on moldy hardtack and blood-spattered wedding cake.
There’s no excuse, these days, for turning down perfectly good meat.
“It isn’t really good, though,” Frenchie says, “or you’d have smelt better before Jim cut it off.” He touches the little half-moon scar above Izzy’s lost ankle, and Izzy imagines he feels it. It sparks up the length of him, from what’s dead to what’s still alive for now.
“They wouldn’t have had to cut it off at all, then, if you’re going to be that fucking particular about it,” Izzy says. “Doesn’t matter. Rotten meat’s better than none.”
“Yeah.” The word comes out in one long sigh, Frenchie’s face screwed up in a wince. “Still, though.”
“I’m not cutting off the other one just so we can have a better meal.”
“No,” Frenchie agrees. “Last week’s been hard on you. You’ll have turned all stringy.”
Some harsh, raspy bark of a laugh escapes Izzy before he even knows it’s there. He’ll never understand them, these twats he’s dying with. He never even understood Ed, not really, and he had years to try. With what’s left of the crew, there’s no chance at all. He’ll be dead in a few days anyway.
Frenchie’s hand lights between Izzy’s shoulder blades like a moth. Izzy breathes.
“We’ll cut around the worst of it,” he says, when he’s calmer, “and cook the fuck out of what’s left.”
He needs Frenchie for that. There’s no place in the galley for sit-down butchery, and Izzy’s balance is shit now. Besides, Frenchie volunteered:
“Fang’s too sweet for it, really,” he said, “and I reckon Jim’s done enough already, leg-wise, and you don’t know Archie that well yet.”
As if that mattered—but it does, Izzy realizes now, as he watches Frenchie cut into the corrupted, stinking skin. It’s better that the hands on him are familiar.
Better for him, anyway. Frenchie’s shaking by the time he’s done, fine little tremors coming along in the wake of the knife’s passage. His eyes look like dark stars.
Izzy pushes at his shoulder—gently, he thinks, but he doesn’t have much experience to go by. “Sit down before you fall and crack your head open.”
“No place,” Frenchie says.
“Not here. Out at the fucking tables. I can stay upright enough for this part.”
Frenchie looks at him—another jerk running up and down his long limbs—and then his mouth grazes Izzy’s: a hot scrape of chapped lips, a prickle of beard. It’s more a knock than a kiss, and Izzy lets him in, next time the shakes bring him closer. Frenchie tastes like salt, like he’s been crying when no one was looking; Izzy probably tastes the same. They break apart but stay close, Frenchie’s breath warm on his skin.
“This what does it for you, then?” Izzy says, for lack of anything better.
Frenchie gives him a one-shouldered shrug. “Just wanted to—” He touches his mouth, like the right words won’t come out on their own and he has to give them a tug. “Taste you. Properly. Before—that.”
The room reeks of old blood, spoiled meat, stale sweat. It’s a miracle Frenchie could taste him at all—but Izzy forgot about the rest of it too, with Frenchie’s mouth on him.
The salt taste was clean, the flavor of something kept, preserved.
Izzy wants to believe they’ll keep a little longer, even after he’s gone. Probably would cut off his good leg for that at this point, for that promise of salt.
“Sit down,” he says again. He doesn’t have anything more to give—just practicalities. A meal. A chair. “You don’t want to smell it cooking if you don’t have to.”
“You’ll have some too, right?” Frenchie says, as he turns to go. “Bit macabre, I know, but you need it.”
He thinks of hot blood and the crunch of bone and nail, Edward’s hand over his mouth. By the third toe Izzy brought the meat up to his lips on his own, feeling like that was his part in this.
Macabre is as good a word for it as any, but you get used to it. And he’s hungry.
“I’ll eat,” he says, and a little bit of light comes back into Frenchie’s eyes, like it matters, Izzy clinging to this filthy, bedraggled scrap of life or not. It doesn’t—except he’s keeping the meat that’s still on his bones fresh a little while longer. They better not waste him when he goes, if there’s still not been a rescue.
Frenchie looks at him like he knows what he’s thinking.
“Anyway,” Frenchie says, “nice to all have dinner together as a family.”
Another sort-of laugh tears its way out of Izzy’s throat, and he tastes salt all over again as he lays the meat down in the pan.
It is, he thinks. Yeah. Nice to put food on the table. He’s done that much, at least.
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assorted thoughts/speculation on how the alan/wen relationship could have possibly stopped working, beyond "i fell out of love with you":
"You should have asked him too if he wanted it" - my very first reaction to this line from Gong was that he was maybe talking about something specific, mostly bc it felt very pointed esp in conjunction with the later line of "maybe you should try doing nothing". then i thought maybe he was talking about a sort of last straw incident as part of a recurring pattern. now i think it's very possible it wasn't about anything specific necessarily, but more a general commentary on their dynamic. Alan seems like a very solution-oriented man-of-action kind of person, from the way he constantly asks Wen what he can do to fix things and make them better and if there are "any other options". on the other side of things Wen is an attentive listener and seems to be pretty attuned to other people's wants and feelings [thinking about his interactions with Li Ming, for example].
so from that perspective i can see how Wen maybe started doing things he didn't necessarily want to do because he could see that it made Alan happy, and not expressing that he might not want to do those things bc it didn't seem like that big of a deal at the start in comparison to how happy it made Alan, and Alan maybe didn't know to ask because he himself is the kind of person who expresses himself through his actions, and things slowly building from there until the situation became intolerable.
"I don't really like beef... but you like it, so i can eat it too" - this line reinforces this impression i get, and i can imagine it being especially true at the beginning of their relationship. they're in their late 20's, i'm guessing somewhere around 27-28, and they've been together for over 5 years [possibly closer to six, depending on when the break up actually happened; their 1 year anniversary was May 2017, so they actually started dating in 2016], which means they probably started dating around 21-22 years. I don't think it's totally out of the realm of possibility for this to have been their first serious long-term relationship [definitely not an uncommon queer experience in particular, i myself didn't start dating girls until after i graduated college] and even if that isn't the case, when you're younger i think it's easy to romanticize things and tell yourself there are things you're okay with changing about yourself to make the other person happy. Wen especially seems like the kind of person who could buy into this pretty easily [Mr. "if i were them i would do everything possible to make it work" over here].
but i think even in your late twenties you have a much more solid idea of who you are as a person than you do in your early twenties, and a better understanding of the things you're less willing to bend for. and i think five years is a long time to push yourself into the mold of a person you aren't, even if it's with things that seem small like waking up for morning jogs or eating beef. like Wen said in ep 5 part 1, he did his best, but after a certain point maybe he realized he just couldn't do it anymore.
"deep down i also hoped we could make it work again" - wen strikes me as the kind of person who doesn't let go of the things that are important to him very easily [i mean just look at how persistent he is with jim lol man knows what he wants!]. and this can be an admirable trait in some cases, but i can def see how it might also significantly exacerbate a situation like the one Wen ended up in with Alan.
what makes it especially complicated is that by his own admission he still cares about Alan and wants him to be happy; he notices everything that Alan does for him and how hard he tries and he's not immune to that because he knows how badly Alan still wants to be a part of his life. and i can see how all that would make it difficult for him to make a clean break. actually i understand the desire to want to stay friends with an ex bc of how important of a role they've played in your life for such a long time, on a very personal level [five years is a long fucking time to have such a deep and intimate relationship with a person! no matter how it ended or how you feel about the person it can be really difficult to imagine life without them!].
but ultimately esp in this case because Alan is still in love with him but Wen isn't a clean break is probably what's best for everyone, i think it's just difficult to realize that when you're as deep in the situation as Wen was. i can see it being a limbo/stasis kind of situation for a really long time, until the opportunity to get some outside perspective comes along [from an emotionally damaged chicken rice seller, for instance. apropos of nothing.]
-
side note: even if they didn't explicitly say it i still hc that financial reasons were at least one reason why wen was having difficulties moving out. idk how the housing situation in Thailand is but i could def see it being difficult to disentangle yourself if both of your names were on the lease or if you both owned the place [I think Gong at some point says that their place is "also yours" which doesn't necessarily mean that they own the place, ownership is maybe difficult to attain at their age idk how ownership compares to renting in Thailand, but like maybe, who knows, it's a pretty small flat as opposed to a house and if they had rings they might be committed enough to the relationship to spring for a place together, IDK].
also i think the implication is that Wen's family doesn't live in Pattaya so living with them wouldn't be an easy option unless he transferred jobs which is also not an easy thing to do [he doesn't sound like he would particularly want to move back to Bangkok anyway, from his convo with Jim at the beginning of ep 6].
honestly the only thing i can't explain is why Wen would choose to share a bed with his ex for all that time skdnfsdkjfnsdkfns my man just didn't want to sleep on a couch for 6+ months i guess, place apparently too small for an extra futon or an air mattress, didn't want to bunk up in the kitchen so he said "you are not kicking me out of my own bed please and thank you" idk
#sarah.txt#moonlight chicken#mlc meta#mostly speculation just wanted to sort through my thoughts and hcs#if you already saw this post: no u didn't#story meta
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Star Trek TOS (2x02) : Who Mourns for Adonais?
Oop Scotty is in love (this girl WILL die)
GIANT HAND
Vulcans are a bummer, so don't beam down the sad man >:(
Again with the casual Vulcan slander! Why do they keep doing my boy dirty like that???
Fjsldjskdj oh no the girl Scotty likes beamed down, she's not beaming back up 💀💀💀 Scotty can't have shit on the enterprise 🥲
APOLLO ->
APOLLO
Hehe the hand is so silly
THE POV SHOT OF THEM ALL LOOKING UP AT APOLLO-
Fascinating ✨✨✨
Oop Scotty's crush is a mythology nerd she's DEFINITELY leaving Scotty for Apollo or something INSANE like that.
Kirk , you can't really immediately believe he's the God Apollo-
YES SCOTTY WE ARE CAPABLE OF WRATH!!!
oh fuck no I was KIDDING! I was KIDDING when I said that girl would fall in love w-
"you seem wize, for a woman" excuse me???
I can excuse the god-like wrath, but NOT THE SEXISM
Scotty 🥺 the narrative hates you, I'm so sorry 😭
Ah jeez, she's DEFINITELY into it 💀💀💀
BWAHAHAHAJ GHE COSTUME CHANGE WHY- WHY?! She really just immediately abandoned the captain and the enterprise. Like girlie you took an oath. DONT ACT LIKE THIS IS A SACRIFICE TO YOU-
Scotty is so sweet,
Okay Kirks right, maybe I was so fast to judge her, maybe she's trying to get info. The star trek pattern of lots of dumb women is getting to me.
Spock, you're doing great, but this clearly isn't working
She seems a bit too smiley to be doing this for "strategic purposes" 💀
Ooo okay so in star trek universe Greek mythology is real but they were all aliens? Okay, thats definitely a choice™
"God's took mortals to love and care for-" oh oop called it.
"Spock's contaminating this boy, Jim" awwwwww Chekov <3
Apollo really out here with an extra organ in his body oh boy.
THE LIGHTNING WHAT!
Scotty, sweetie, you're amazing, but-
OH OKAY THINGS ARE HAPPENING KIRK IS DYING WTF????
Shatner's acting is so fucking funny for some reason oh my gosh Kirk is choking on the ground I should NOT be laughing right now 💀
Also I know they just casually mentioned it as a Bit, but i think it's so cute that Spock is mentoring Chekov or something to that affect.
Uh oh I think Apollo is worn out a bit. LIKE THAT CAT IN THE RUSSIAN STORY- Pavel, never change.
Uhura is tinkering ✨✨✨ love her
"I can think of no one better equipped to handle it" SO TRUE, SPOCK!!!
wait does that girl have god powers now or-
"Mankind has no need for gods" oo? " we find the one quite valuable" OOOOH okay.
"GO!" They really went full on middle school lunch room on his ass fjskjfkdjdk
Lieutenant, stop getting emotionally attached to the Greek god Apollo 💀💀💀 Kirk is so done oh my gosh
Im hoping she's actually super smart and this whole attitude is an act. I may have to apologize to women again.
Become the mother of a new race of gods AYOOOO?????? UM???
okay he needs to stop , actually. Yup nope okay she's down BAD. Poor Scotty 😭
Kirk : "how old are you?"
Chekov : "22"
Kirk : "then I better handle it-"
Pavel 🥺 you're like a child to everyone here, how the fuck did you graduate the academy at 22-
In like ten minutes I've went from calling him Chekov to Pavel , the illness is real.
LIEUTENANT , SNAP 👏 OUT 👏 OF 👏 IT 👏 "HE'S SO LONELY" MY ASS!
Kirk, your rizz might not be able to get us outta this one
Kirk, Tell that to Spock's parents. Being from different species didn't stop them if you know what I mean-
She's trying to switch back to being On Duty , yes you're a scientist. I KNEW SHE WAS A SPECIALIST OF MYTHS. "Illogical. I could no more love you than I could love a piece of bacteria"
I owe women another apology, she's back ✨
RHE EDITING OH MY GOSH
The end 😃
W H a t
Okay that's not the most insane thing ever, actually. The ending felt a tiny bit rushed but that could've just been me.
Also Chekov is literally a child compared to everyone else on board- like of course 22 isn't a child but Kirk is, I wanna say, in his mid thirties at least (based on how long ago he says things took place in his life and how old he was then; like Taurus 4 and different things hes done as a lieutenant ), and no one else in the main cast is supposed to be 22.
That was a decent episode; not one of my favs but definitely not the worst. I probably won't do a rewatch for a while, but that's cus I have odd taste lol.
#star trek#star trek tos#who mourns for adonais?#goofy jelly thoughts#star trek the original series#spock#kirk#chekov#uhura
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Androxys Reads... Batman #402 and #403
Welcome back to Androxys Reading Comics! If you’re just joining, all my reads can be found under #androxys reads comics. Today’s sampling: Batman #402 and #403, both collected in Batman: Second Chances. Let’s get right into it.
[Batman #402]
I think it’s so dramatic to put Batman’s logo in the middle of the melodramatic narration boxes, but also, it’s kinda camp. Go off king. Seek your “human target.”
I see our hapless victims are literally named Dick and Jane, because of course they are. You have to conjure up the image of youthful innocence, right before you slap them with the narration that “they’re slumming tonight – because they’re into Rock ‘n’ Roll.” In this case, I guess “slumming” means going to a rock show in a poorer part of town? This street of Gotham they’re on doesn’t look any grimier than any other?
Gratuitous 80’s violence is gratuitous… The man’s teeth are knocked out and the woman is threatened by the lecherous man, because as we all know, terrible violence only exists in poorer communities because poor people are bad. Ronald Reagan told me so.
A silhouetted Batman strikes, snapping the two muggers’ necks, because again, it’s the 80’s.
[Batman #402]
This little segment is interesting because in some ways, we sure have been using this same plot forever as a foil to Batman, huh? “Your way doesn’t fix things, so I have to Cross The Line to make it matter.” This is just the second Batman comic of New Earth, and yet here’s this theme already. I think Under the Red Hood will do it better, of course, but it’s worth calling out where this thread pops up.
[Batman #402]
Wait a minute! You’re not Bruce!
Because the murder was committed by That Guy in a Batman suit, GCDP supposes that Batman just went off the deep end and is killing now. They lure him to the rooftop by way of Batsignal, and I really like the narration here:
“Three A.M. – Late for the familiar yellow beam to pierce the sky – but the Batman doesn't think twice when summoned by his old friend. He doesn’t even think once. He just goes.”
What a sweet way to portray the depth of his relationship with Gordon: when he sees the signal, he assumes Gordon needs him, and he doesn’t hesitate. That speaks volumes, especially knowing who Bruce will become.
[Batman #402]
It is a trap, though, and his little “whoops” is hilarious to me.
Bruce notes that he didn’t see Gordon on the rooftop, but he did see Deputy Commissioner Barnes, leading him to muse that they’ve both been betrayed. Frankly, I think the fact that they shot on sight is evidence enough for that– Gordon is a special comic character, if only because he knows what Miranda Rights are.
[Batman #402]
I can’t keep highlighting every time Bruce and Jim are friends, but I will do it until they drag me away from my keyboard. They’re precious to me, your honor. The other thing in this panel is how to Bruce, crime is crime. Muggings are never “simple,” something to be trivialized. He should know.
[Both from Batman #402]
Okay… I know in my last post I hunkered down as a Jason Defender, but I have to play it evenly. There’s the panel here where Jason asks Bruce “what would be so wrong if you did [kill those muggers]?” Bruce and Jason have a conversation after that, Bruce emphasizing that “murder is the line we must not cross.” Jason counters that Bruce has killed before, which Bruce notes was in self-defense. I have to assume this is a pre-Crisis element that was folded into the New Earth continuity, in the same way that we’re accepting that Jason is Bruce’s ward already, rather than all comics starting at the beginning of the timeline. We’ll have flashback comics to flesh out that timeline (like the upcoming Year One) but this is still a bit in media res, with some Pre-Crisis stuff still being on the table until proven otherwise. See, this is the sort of confusing comics stuff that drives people nuts.
Bruce ends this conversation by saying that “if we’re no better than the lice who snuff out human life like it’s worth nothing at all, then, well – then it’s time I hung up my cowl.” Jason replies “I guess. But I’m still glad those guys are dead.'' Bruce admits that he agrees, though he’s not proud of it.
If the Batman comics right now are utilizing a blend of Pre-Crisis elements and a nebulous, still undefined New Earth continuity, Jason is really getting a raw deal. Because any/all of his old Pre-Crisis cheer and magic is still potentially there, but at the same time, I feel like we’re seeing the seeds for the death of Felipe Garzonas here. Jason asks the question, “is it so bad if you did kill them?” and doesn’t seem convinced by the answer. Bruce is empathetic to Jason’s sentiment, but Bruce has demonstrated that his sympathy to that idea does not extend to action. His ideals are too strong. Jason, on the other hand, is still in a more precarious spot.
Bruce goes out to interview the widow of a woman who was killed by the same muggers, who admits to Bruce that he’s also glad that they’re dead. The theme of this comic seems to be apathy towards human life.
Hmm… don’t like the quotes around “police brutality” there, Gordon. I feel like what you’re describing is pretty clearly misconduct by one of your cops, actually.
[Both from Batman #402]
Another Jason moment here… another instance of him not seeming to have a clear eye on what it is that they do, what the mission is about. I feel you can tie this back to Batman #401, which was all about establishing what that mission is. We the reader are being guided here, to make our own decisions on what Batman is about, and if we agree more with Bruce or Jason.
[Batman #402]
Batman is on the hunt for the suspect, and he muses that he wants this to be an underworld conspiracy rather than a “good cop gone bad” situation. We know that Batman believes in the cause of justice, but I feel this tiptoes a little closely to the idea that there are people for whom it’s more of a tragedy for them to succumb to crime, rather than taking the position that it’s tragic for anyone to become a criminal. I don’t know, there just seems to be an implicit writing off of criminals that once they’ve become criminals, well, that’s all we can expect of them. But this good cop, this good and decent man, oh how awful.
Bruce also acknowledges that the similarity in this imposter’s mission is to take on crime, just as Batman’s is, and he even recognizes why Jason makes that connection. But it doesn’t clear the insurmountable hurdle that is the sanctity of human life, which separates them. One distinction, but a huge one.
Batman races to save a mob assassin who’s getting immunity and witness protection in return for testimony, which he seems none too pleased about.
[Batman #402]
Just last issue, I spent a lot of time talking about how one of Batman’s great virtues was that he empathized with the criminals he fights, even as he brings them to justice for their crimes. Yet here, he obviously holds no love for Snuffer. What gives? If pressed, I’d say it’s the difference between Magpie’s crimes being rooted in mental illness (however poorly portrayed) versus Snuffer’s being a killer for money. There’s a disregard for human life (again, that theme) that Snuffer has calculated and accepted, versus Magpie who is portrayed as more “helpless” against herself.
The imposter drops down, screaming that Snuffer doesn’t deserve to live… and sentiment that Bruce doesn’t seem to disagree with, but again, the whole point is that life is sacred, no matter how scummy the person is.
Robin drops in and distracts the guy long enough for Bruce to lay him out, leaving only the police to come by and pick the imposter up.
[Batman #402]
This panel drives me a little bonkers. “Who am I but just another guy who thinks he’s Batman?” Bruce you are Batman! You invented it! But it’s also a recognition of Batman-as-idea, Batman-as-symbol. Bruce’s invention has gone on to mean something, and people are interpreting their own meaning from it just as fast as he can do actions under its banner. This idea especially drives me nuts when thinking about all the legacy characters and proteges who will take up this banner with their own flair, and what it means to them–to stop crime, to bring justice, to value life–though each with their own lines.
Also, let's all appreciate another moment of Small Jason.
Batman #403 starts with the imposter escaping police custody. I realize I never stated his name; his name is Tommy Carma. I guess there are only so many Batman villain names. Anyway, after Tommy breaks out of Arkham (oh hey, is this the first Arkham appearance in New Earth?) we get a smash cut to Bruce on a date with Vicki Vale. Vicki is dragging Batman for filth, which is made even funnier when she admits that what attracts her to Bruce is that he has “broad shoulders and millions of dollars…” and that he doesn’t wear a mask. Sis.
Interesting geography note, Arkham is listed here as being to the north of Gotham City, out in the county, and not too far from Wayne Manor. We learn this because Tommy is headed there, looking for Bruce Wayne. When the police later search for him, it seems that it’s actually easy to accidentally cross over from Arkham property to Wayne property. I don’t know if this is because they’re right up next to each other, or because the Waynes own large tracts of Kane County. My gut would say the latter.
In their car, Bruce and Vicki are discussing Carma–Vicki wonders if the mob’s killing his wife and kid caused his mind to snap, leading him to become this murderous Batman. Bruce, who also suffered a tragic loss that made him Batman, tactfully asks if Vicki wonders if the real Batman ever suffered something similar. Smooth, Bruce. Really though, I read this as another point in the long string of “people have Bad Days and some people handle them well and some people don’t” moments that Batman comics like to use. Anyway, did you know this was published a year and a half before The Killing Joke? I wonder what that writing to publication timeline looked like.
[Batman #403]
Fortunately, Bruce doesn’t seem too put out by Vicki’s putting Batman down. He and Jason go down to the Batcave, only to discover that the Batmobile is missing! This is because when Tommy Carma was hiding from the police, he ducked into a natural opening that ended up being connected to a larger cave system. He followed that cave into the Batcave, which really just makes me concerned about Bruce’s security. (Glances in Bruce Wayne: Murderer)
[Batman #403]
I also want to point out now that until he dons a Batsuit, Tommy Carma has been running from the police in this little crop top and sweatpants. I love the look.
Bruce, Jason, and Alfred use actual detective work to deduce that somehow, Tommy Carma got in the cave, and that he must have taken the Batmobile. I love seeing these three find clues and make inferences–it sounds like a gimme, that they’ll do detective work in Detective Comics Comics’ Detective Comics, but you’d be surprised.
Batman heads out on the Batcycle to find Gordon and let him know that Carma jacked his ride, where Gordon then tells Batman that really this is all Bruce Wayne’s fault. Smooth. Batman doesn’t seem too pressed, and jumps off a building.
[Batman #403]
Batman has realized that to kill the hitman, Carma would have had to know the address, so he finds his mole. They spat back and forth for a bit about the difference between a sin and a crime, and there’s a little dash of cop-moralizing in there.
[Batman #403]
Maybe more than a dash. I’m sure there’s an essay in me about these two panels, but it drives me crazy that these “good busts” are getting lamented when it sounds like part of the blame is being placed on… civil liberties? Police brutality is not a shortcut! Civil liberties and peoples’ rights are not roadblocks to cops, or at least they shouldn’t be viewed that way. They are things that protect us from systemic abuse and overreach of power. That’s part of what carves Batman out–he’s not systemic! He was not created by a government or a representative out of some social contract. He is not beholden to the same expectations and guidelines as the police. That’s part of the whole point!
Carma is a critique of an overzealous Batman, and how there are moral lines that Batman can’t cross. At the same time, they’re saying “if [Carma] hadn’t idolized you, he’d have made a fine cop.” Because he would have stayed in bounds? The cop Batman’s shaking down seems to regret that Carma was violent and disregarded procedure, but it’s just not clear if he hates that because Carma violated people’s rights, or just because it meant they couldn’t put the bad guy away. There’s a difference.
[Batman #403]
I don't really have anything to say here, other than that Bruce canonically talks to his car.
[Batman #403]
This is the end, and no notes. Just everyone read these two panels and burn them into your mind.
I’ll see folks next time for Year One!
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brutal
CHAPTER THREE
pairing: glenn rhee x reader, oc!alexander x reader (siblings), various x reader
description: rick goes back to atlanta on a rescue mission for merle, and shit goes down at the quarry.
warnings: swearing, violence, death.
words:
date posted: 28/02/22
previous part | next part
Y/n was out of bed fairly early the next morning. After an unsettled night of tossing and turning, her mind was still stuck on the events that had transpired only moments before she had gone to bed.
Y/n wasn’t sure if she had been the one to kiss Glenn, or if he had kissed her, but either way, the pair had kissed and the dynamic between them appeared to have shifted. The entire affair had ended equally as soon as it began, and as soon as they had parted, Y/n was quick to bid him a goodnight before fleeing to the safety of her own tent. She was only glad that Alex had been steadily snoring by the time she returned, and she was able to stew in her own embarrassment without being interrogated until morning.
Glenn had already been up and about by the time she had woken up, watching with great sorrow as Shane, Jim, Dale, and Morales tore vital pieces off of the red mustang that he had come to love so much. She caught his head turning from the corner of her eye as he heard Carol greet the young girl, though he didn’t approach. It was probably for the best, though, especially with her older brother lurking around somewhere, who would most definitely rather see Glenn fed to walkers than in any compromising position with his sister. She had considered offering the men a hand, but instead thought it would do her some good to have some sort of breakfast, even if it was only a granola bar.
“Good morning,” Rick Grimes sidled up to squat next to where Y/n sat along the cliff overlooking the quarry, “Y/n, isn’t it?”
“And you’re Officer Friendly.” She hummed in response, gulping down the last bite, “Word gets around pretty fast around here.”
He tilted his head up to peer at the morning sun, “Suppose it does. Listen, about last night. What you said…”
Y/n rolled her eyes, “I know Shane’s your buddy or whatever, but if you’re here to get me to apologise for hurting his precious ego, you can go–”
Rick chuckled, “No, definitely not here for that. Between you and me, he could do well with a stern talking to every now and then.”
Crossing her arms over her chest, Y/n took a moment to hold in her laughter. For the first time since the world had gone to shit, someone else was audibly agreeing with her that Shane Walsh was an ass. She was beginning to think that she actually might come to like Rick Grimes.
“I’m going back for Merle.”
Her head turned quickly, surely giving her some sort of whiplash.
“I’ve been thinking on it. Everyone else has been telling me what kind of white-trash he is, how he hurts the camp more than he helps it. I was starting to think that maybe I was stupid for wanting to risk my own life for a guy like him. Then, you spoke up. From what I understand, Merle wasn’t exactly the kindest to you.”
“More like a little too kind.”
“And still, you wanted to help him.” Rick paused briefly before he finished, “I’m gonna round up a few to come with me. Glenn knows the city better than anyone, so I’ll really benefit from him being there. Alex, he’s your brother, right? Would he come if I asked?”
She shrugged, “Dunno. I know he definitely feels guilty for what happened, but he really does hate Merle. I’d say it’s a fifty-fifty.”
He nodded, “What about you?”
“Me?”
“You seem to be able to handle yourself.”
Y/n hugged herself, eyes falling to her feet, “Definitely not; My bark is ten times worse than my bite. Shit, I’ve never even had to kill a walker on my own before. I’d just be in the way.”
Rick nodded, “Alright. Thank you.”
She frowned, “For what?”
“For helping me figure this all out. You were right, you know. What you said about being human? Just because they aren’t anymore, doesn’t mean that we can’t be.” Without another word, the deputy slowly worked his way back across the camp, the teenager’s eyes glued to his back as he grew further and further away, a small smile slowly crossing her lips.
Her eyes were quickly drawn over to the treeline, narrowing in on the sight of Carl and Sophia wandering out of eyesight. Y/n eyed their parents for a few moments; Rick and Lori appeared to be in the midst of arguing while Carol worked on hanging Rick’s clothes to dry, and Ed was busy doing… Well, nothing. Sighing, she decided against having to interrupt the arguing couple and began a rapid pace to chase after the two younger children.
“Sophia? Carl?” She called out as she narrowly avoided face planting into the foliage, “You guys know you’re not supposed to be out here by yourselves?”
A twig snapped in the bushes just off the beaten path. Y/n’s body stiffened as she watched the foliage closely, waiting for another sign of movement.
“Hello?” She asked, praying that it was either the two kids trying to frighten her, or perhaps a squirrel.
The bushes began to part, and Y/n leapt back in surprise as a large figure loomed through to appear in front of her.
“The hell are you doin’?”
Daryl Dixon scowled at her as he stood to his full height, crossbow slung over one shoulder, a chord of dead squirrels over the other. Y/n’s lips parted in shock, jaw slack as she tried to come up with something to say.
“I’ll tell you what,” He gruffed, “Scarin’ off my deer, that’s what. Been trackin’ that son of a bitch for miles.”
“Uh, Carl and Sophia— Lori’s son and Carol’s daughter, they came out here to play. I was just, you know, looking for them, but I might be a little lost?” She cringed as her words unintentionally formed a question.
He rolled his eyes, shoving past her as he scanned the ground, following a clear path of disrupted foliage, “You people just don’t know how to survive, huh? You’ll all be dead within the month.”
Y/n scoffed at him, crossing her arms as she followed behind him. She wondered if she should respond. With anyone else, even his older brother, she certainly would have thought up something annoyingly witty to say, but she genuinely couldn’t tell whether or not Daryl would have let it slide or decided to impale her with a bolt, so she ultimately decided to follow along silently.
“Mom!” Carl’s voice echoed through the woods, soon followed by Sophia’s cries for help.
“Oh my God,” Y/n sped up to a sprint, following the sound of the screaming. She heard Daryl curse as she bumped him on her way by, then his own quickened footsteps as he chased after her.
Breaking through the treeline, she narrowly avoided tackling Alex to the ground as her feet failed to stop. He gasped her name as he caught her, forcing her behind him as he continued his assault on the single walker. Each of the men in the group appeared to take turns beating it with whatever sort of clubbing device they’d been able to find, whacking it time and time again until the head finally rolled away as its body slumped against the deer carcass it had been devouring.
Shit, this must be Daryl’s deer, she thought to herself.
“It’s the first one we’ve had up here,” Dale sighed, allowing his weapon to fall into a resting position, “They never come this far up the mountain.”
“Well, they’re running out of food in the city, that’s what,” Jim responded.
Daryl finally appeared in the clearing, shoving his way through the branches to find the rest of the group. He stared down at the deer (or what remained of it), a deep scowl etching itself into his face, something that Y/n had become quite accustomed to seeing.
“Son of a bitch,” He swore, “That’s my deer! Look at it, all gnawed on by this…” He emphasised his next words by landing a kick to the walker’s limp body as he spoke, “Filthy, disease-bearing, motherless, poxy bastard!”
“Calm down, son, that’s not helping.” Dale spoke, shrinking slightly as Daryl swivelled around to stare menacingly down at him.
“What do you know about it, old man? Why don't you take that stupid hat and go back to ‘on golden pond’? I've been tracking this deer for miles. Gonna drag it back to camp, cook us up some venison. What do you think? Do you think we can cut around this chewed up part right here?”
“I wouldn’t risk it.” Shane sighed.
“That’s a damn shame. I got some squirrel… about a dozen or so. That’ll have to do.”
Y/n gasped loudly as the walker head, which had rolled across the ground to lay not far from her feet, began to grind its teeth, jaws snapping in search of something warm to sink its teeth into before a single bolt cut through its skull.
“Come on, people,” Daryl groaned, “What the hell? It’s gotta be the brain, don’t y’all know nothing?”
***
Y/n hummed a slow tune as she scrubbed a dark stain out of a white shirt. The song felt familiar, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on which song it was, nor could she remember the name of it. It had been nagging her all morning since she had heard Alex creating the very same tune as he laced up his boots earlier that morning.
Alex had reluctantly agreed to join Rick in his rescue mission after his sister reminded him of their conversation the night before. Joined by an angry Daryl, guilty T-Dog, and fearful Glenn, Y/n had no doubt that they would be back later, but a small portion of her still feared for their lives.
"Are you ready? Here we go, boy, here we go."
In the distance, Shane was teaching Carl to catch frogs, very noisily at that. The pair shouted as they splashed through the water together, disrupting the peacefulness that had settled around the camp. Y/n rolled her eyes as she quickly grew annoyed with them, as she had been enjoying her time without being under the constant watch of her brother while also being able to avoid facing Glenn for a few hours after the events of the night before.
She even avoided him the next morning as much as possible, though she didn’t have to put so much effort in. By mid-day, Rick had rounded up a small group
"I'm beginning to question the division of labour." Jacqui huffed as she eyed the deputy, "Can someone explain to me how the women got stuck doing the Hattie McDaniel work?"
Y/n agreed, also not quite understanding why she and the other women had been given the responsibility of cooking and doing the laundry while the men, namely Ed, who had taken it upon himself to ‘supervise’ them, and Shane, who was currently causing quite a ruckus in the pond, were doing the bare minimum.
"The world ended." Andrea snorted, "Didn't you get the memo?"
Carol shrugged, glancing over her shoulder at her husband, "Just the way it is."
Y/n narrowed her eyes at the man as he lit yet another cigarette. She had done her best to avoid him since they had first encountered each other on the highway, but it was quite difficult when he seemingly went out of his way to cause as much disruption among the group as possible.
"I do miss my Maytag." Carol added, frowning down at the old washboard she was roughly scrubbing
"I miss my Benz," Andrea commented, "My sat nav."
"I miss my coffeemaker with that dual-drip filter and built-in grinder, honey." Jacqui hummed.
“I would really kill for my iPod,” Y/n hummed, mind reeling at the thought of the killer playlists that she had spent so long formulating for each and every mood imaginable, “Or like, a cheeseburger or something.”
Amy wrung out the shirt she had been rinsing, “I miss my computer… and texting.”
The group fell silent for a beat before Andrea exhaled loudly, "I miss my vibrator."
A few snorts left the women surrounding her at Andrea's comment, though they turned into roars of laughter as Carol piped up once more after glancing around to ensure that Ed wouldn't hear her, "Me too."
"What's so funny?"
The laughter came to a screeching halt as Ed dropped his cigarette butt to the ground and stomped it out before he strutted down to stand directly behind the teenage girl. Y/m’s spine straightened as she felt his leg brush against her back, trying to ignore the close proximity of the man, though the prominent odour of cigarette smoke invaded her senses and only made it more difficult for her to ignore him.
"Just swapping war stories, Ed." Andrea responded blandly.
He leaned over her shoulder, his shadow looming over her small frame as he watched her scrub away at the fabric.
"Can I help you?" Y/n asked rudely, preparing herself for whichever sexist comment he was about to make.
"Nothing that concerns you. And you oughta focus on your work, this ain't no comedy club." He dismissed her as he continued to supervise and comment on their work.
Andrea finally stood from her seat, a sopping t-shirt in her grasp as she turned on the large man angrily. She tossed the shirt at him, leaving it to land against his chest with a wet slapping sound.
"You know what, Ed? You don't like how your laundry is done, you are welcome to pitch in and do it yourself."
He stared at her with an irritated expression as he whipped the shirt back at her with as much strength as he could muster, "Ain't my job, missy."
"Andrea, don't." Carol begged as she stood up.
Y/n rose to stand behind Andrea as Amy and Jacqui joined in heckling Ed for his words against their friend.
"What is your job, Ed?" Andrea sneered, "Sitting on your ass smoking cigarettes?"
"Well, it sure as hell ain't listening to some uppity smart-mouthed bitch. Tell you what... come on. Let's go." He reached over and grasped Carol's arm, dragging her along behind him.
"Carol," Y/n stepped forward and grasped her other arm, "You don't need to go anywhere with him."
"She does, and you might do well to stay outta my business."
"Andrea, Y/n, please, it doesn't matter." Carol pleaded.
"Hey," Ed stared down at the teenager menacingly, "don't think I won't knock you on your ass just 'cause you're some little foreign cooze. Now you come on now or you'll regret it later."
Y/n’s jaw fell slack as he shoved her backwards with his free hand. She caught herself easily with the grip she had on his wife’s arm, which only seemed to anger him even more.
"Why?" Jacqui opposed, "So she can show up with fresh bruises later, Ed? Yeah, we've seen them."
Ed laughed humorlessly, "Stay out of this. Now come on! You know what? This ain't none of y'all's business. You don't want to keep prodding the bull here, okay? Now I am done talking. Come on."
"Carol, you don't have to..."
Ed turned sharply on Andrea, his face dangerously close to her own as he shouted, "You don't tell me what! I tell you what!" His hand met his wife's cheek harshly.
Y/n wasn't sure how exactly the scuffle had begun, but she, along with Andrea, Amy, and Jacqui managed to tear a sobbing Carol away from her husband, while also sending as many hits his way as possible. She watched as a large hand gripped the nape of Ed's neck, pulling him away from the women and throwing him into the pebble shore. Shane stood over him, his fit of rage bringing him down over him as he began beating his face in. Carol screamed from her place in Jacqui's arm as her husband's face became increasingly more bloody and bruised.
"I'll beat you to death," Shane began to chant as he landed punch after punch, "I'll beat you to death, Ed."
He finally let up, standing to his intimidating height, landing a final kick to Ed's ribs before Carol finally pushed past him, dropping to her knees and muffling out meek apologies to her husband through heavy sobs. Shane paused as he began to walk off, his eyes meeting Y/n’s briefly before hers dropped to inspect his busted knuckles. His own eyes followed her gaze and the pain appeared to finally settle as he winced, bruising and blood coating the length of his fist. He huffed loudly and began stomping back up the hill, leaving the four remaining women to remain in their shocked state, unsure of what to do with the mess that he had left behind.
Y/n soon found herself on the edge of the hilltop overlooking the quarry, occasionally peeking up at the small canoe where Andrea and Amy were attempting (and appeared to be succeeding) in catching some fish for dinner. On her lap, she held a small pad of notepaper, slowly dragging the lead of her pencil over it to form the finger of a mermaid, long hair covering her chest while her even longer tail twisted across the page delicately. She had remembered Amy telling her about the mermaid that she was convinced was living in the quarry, the memory flowing from her brain to the page through the medium of her hand.
I was just getting cleaned up and then I saw it, Amy told her, a flash of red hair. She wasn't there for long, but she was definitely there.
It was Amy's imagination that had initially drawn Y/n in. The young woman had reminded her so much of her father, bothing having avid, childlike demeanors and loved telling stories, most of which contained some sort of mythological creature. Her father had also been very convinced that mermaids were, in fact, real. As a fisherman, he enjoyed tales of the sea, and had once claimed to have seen one in the Gulf of Saint Lawrence, though Y/n was certain that it was probably a dolphin or something. Y/n desperately wished that she could have had an imagination like that, especially at a time when happy thoughts were so few and far between.
"That's pretty."
Lori Grimes peeked over Y/n’s shoulder at the drawing, her hands bashfully placed in the back pockets of her jeans as she shifted her weight back and forth. Y/n watched the woman for a moment through narrow eyes before turning back to her drawing.
"I wanted to talk to you... about what you said the other day."
Y/n exhaled deeply through her nose, "What, about you and Shane?"
"Yeah, that's it. I don't know what gave you the idea-"
"You gonna tell him?"
Lori paused for a moment, thinking over her response, "I really don't think it's any of your business what I do in my marriage."
Y/n stared up at the woman, "I wasn't talking about Rick. Carl; Are you gonna tell him?"
"Are you?"
Y/n shook her head, "Like you said, not my business. But, from personal experience, you should tell him. I’m sorry about what I said yesterday. I shouldn’t have brought you and Carl into that argument, it had nothing to do with you.”
"That’s quite alright. I know from my personal experience that Shane can really bring out the worst in people.." Lori smirked, "Actually, that reminds me of why I came over here. Carl’s been asking about you. Said something about making bracelets, but he’s too shy to come up and say anything himself. Between you and me, I think he's got a little crush on you. It'd mean a whole lot to him."
Y/n smiled shyly, nodding as she stood to follow the woman across the camp to where Carol was looking after Carl and Sophia, along with Jacqui and Morales. Carl jumped in surprise as the teenager knelt down next to him, staring up at her curiously.
"Hey Carl," She smiled at him briefly before glancing down at the paper he had been writing on, "What are you workin' on?"
He shrugged, "Math stuff."
Y/n bit her lip, scanning the page in front of him, “Oh, long division. I’d offer to help, but math’s never really been my thing.”
“It’s okay, Carol is helping us.”
“Alright, well how about when you and Sophia are done, we go see if Dale has anything that we can use to make some bracelets, huh?”
Sophia glanced up from the opposite side of the little table, “Really?”
“Okay,” Carl grinned, “Sounds fun.”
"Oh baby, would you look at that?" Morales announced, emerging from his own little campsite, "Hey, check it out!"
Amy and Andrea approached the group, a chain of fresh bass suspended between the pair and each sporting proud grins on their sun kissed cheeks.
"Ladies... Because of you, my children will eat tonight." Morales continued, taking the fish from the women, "Thank you."
"Thank Dale," Andrea smirked, "It was his canoe and gear."
"Whoa," Carl jumped up and ran over to stare at the bass in awe, "Mom look at the fish!"
"Yeah, whoa." Lori confirmed as she applauded the sisters, "Where'd you two learn to do that?"
"Our dad." Amy confessed.
"Can you teach me to do that?" Carl asked.
"Sure," Amy grinned, "I'll teach you all about nail knots and stuff. If that's okay."
"You won't catch me arguing." Lori raised her hands in surrender.
"Hey Dale, when's the last time you oiled those reels? They're a disgrace." Andrea called as the man approached them, rifle slung over his shoulder and his typical uplifting expression exchanged for one of sombre.
"I, uh..." Dale began, "I don't mean to alarm anyone, but I think we may have a bit of a problem."
MY WORK IS, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE, TO BE REPOSTED OR SHARED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. I HAVE NEVER GIVEN CONSENT TO MY WORK BEING SHARED, SO IF YOU SEE ANOTHER ACCOUNT POSTING MY CONTENT PLS LET ME KNOW.
#female reader#reader insert#x reader#imagines#fanfic#glenn rhee imagine#glenn rhee x reader#rick grimes x reader#rick grimes#glenn rhee#daryl dixion imagine#daryl dixon x reader
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Black Dahlias For The Waynes - Ch. 3
Chapter 3: The Bat Is In The Details (iii)
Series Masterlist
Story Pairings: Bruce Wayne & Alfred Pennyworth; Bruce & Female!Dick Grayson; Alfred & Female!Grayson; Jim Gordon & Bruce
Chap Summary: Bruce might not be actually using his head when he says those words to Alfred, and well... Looks like his Butler wasn't having it.
Story Rating: Mature
Warning: Possible OOC? (I'm still learning how to right Battinson Bruce/Batman; And Serkis Alfred as well); Mature Language; Mention of Corpses; Blood; References to Past Trauma; References to (past/present) Anxiety & Depression; Slight References to racism towards foreigners; Acrophobia (The fear of heights). Read at your OWN risk!
A/N: Also, sorry for the long wait. I usually post my work first on Ao3 and then I completely forgot to post it on here! So sorry!
The·Devil·Is·In·The·Details
Idiom
Something that may seem simple
from a distance, but when you look
closer there are problems coming.
________________________________________________________
It was like looking into a fucking mirror.
Oh fuck—
Is that what he looked like?
Was he pale and shell-shocked? Was he frozen too just before screaming? Did the light in his eyes expire as well? Nobody witnessed it except for him, so he couldn’t truly see what it did to him, but now…
He can see it. His reflection. The same scream he gave when his parents could no longer blink.
It was gut wrenching. But it didn’t end there, even with the tent almost empty from the audience, the nightmare didn’t end for the circus performers. After what felt like you could hear a pin being dropped because it was so quiet, the work wasn’t done when everyone could hear the sobs and choking from above. He didn’t know how much time had passed, but he saw so many attempts by the performers to get the girl to come down from the tower.
One by one they would go up carefully, treating her like glass, trying not to be too pushy, but their attempts kept failing. Was it because she was too out of it? Or was it because they were also emotionally destroyed by what they just witnessed?
‘When are the police showing up? Maybe they can get her down.’
‘Could we cover their bodies? Would that be better for her?’
‘Do we have to be more firm?’
Bruce's jaw clenched from the same spot he once was seated at. Their words struck all kinds of emotions, and made him debate what would be best to get a traumatized kid down from the platform. This situation was… well… sort of new to him, it’s-
“Bruce?” Alfred said quietly, pulling him from his overworking brain. “I know what you’re thinking, I would usually lecture you not to interfere but…” The twitch in his jaw told someone how uneasy he was feeling right now. “It’s a child.”
Bruce swallows.
I know.
He couldn’t speak, which I guess was understandable. He just nodded and was about to take a step towards uncertainty when his bicep was pulled to a stop.
“But… be Bruce Wayne, not the other guy.” Alfred warns softly. “Don’t scare her. Do…” He pauses at a memory of his own “D-Do what I did when it happened to you. Okay?”
When the hand left the billionaire’s arm, he cautiously made his way over to the group of people, Alfred a few steps behind him. Eyes were immediately on him, bloodshot and protective, but he didn’t let that stop him from trying.
“Easy…” He begins, hands slightly raised for effect (he didn’t want to seem off by standing still like usual). “I’m just here with an offer.” How should he put this without sounding creepy? “Let me talk to her.”
A man, the juggler, scoffed. “W-What?”
“You know me. You obviously know me from the announcement earlier, so you know what happened to me.” He watched their faces fall with sympathy, his words finally having meaning. “Let me try. Because I speak for this city, not all the cops are going to be nice trying to get her down.”
Now their looks were cast to the ground, everything coming apart.
It was heartbreaking to look at. This family was-
“Give it a go.” The ringleader said, his voice barely heard. The older man seemed too messed up to even argue a reason not to, which unfortunately favored in Bruce’s way.
Bruce doesn’t say anything, just a little movement in his head as walks forward. He starts to feel small though. History repeating itself. He found himself a young boy again. The heavy stares he was getting was like the crowd full of media, dying to have a word with him moments after his parents’ deaths; He could almost still feel his new appointed guardian’s hand on his lower back, guiding him to the car. His heart skipped a beat, his fingertips brushing against the latter as he looked up. The platform seems so far away now. He could feel the cold, wet air again as he stared at the tower, his home, that’ll be missing two people. The sign of his last name made him sad, made him guilty, angry and wished he could tear it down.
But that was years ago, he’s not that little boy anymore, that moment has passed. Now…
He’s gotta be a safe haven.
So he climbs. Anxious as he gets to the top, feet planted as steady as he could.
Breathe. Keep your composure.
But it’s so hard when the child locked eyes with him. Glitter and mascara streaks just below orbs of (dull) sapphires. Bruce takes her form in, studying, picking up signals. It was subtle but he catches the way her arms tighten around her upright knees, a protective barrier from a stranger like him.
He’s been there before too.
Yet after all these similar experiences, he didn’t know what to say. How was he supposed to start this type of conversation in this type of situation? He racked his brain for somethings, anything, all while the girl shrunk in on herself some more.
“W-Who are you…?” She croaks, voice dry and trembling.
Great. Great first impression. Scare the kid, Bruce. He scolded himself, but never let his “failure” show up on his face.
“I’m Bruce.” He states softly. “I’m here to get you down. Your-” How should he put this? Acquaintances? Family? Or was that too soon? “Your… friends are worried about you.”
A twinge of guilt flashed across her features, before she sinks further into herself, looking away from his gaze. Shit— He knew he wasn’t good at this. What was he supposed to say next? Was there something Alfred said that he could borrow? He could…Well…
Maybe not.
It wouldn’t be the same. Alfred knew him already, knew what made him tick, but Bruce was completely lost. Even after studying her for a few brief moments it wasn’t enough to tell him everything.
He tries not to deflate, nor cross into damaged territories. “Look, Kid, we-”
“I should have done something.” She said it so quietly, but the tremble in her voice was so loud.
Her knuckles turn white. The lost light in her eyes.
Oh no.
He knows what this is. He knows where this is going.
“I should have said something.” She continues, Bruce’s stomach twisting. “I heard a noise, I-I… I almost s-saved… I sh-should’ve been quicker-”
“Don’t do that.” Those words were pried out of him, covered in the thick emotions that he didn’t volunteer. “Don’t say that. Don’t…” He trails off and thinks -no- wishes—
Don’t end up like me.
She blinks, and stares. He could feel her studying him in return.
“But it’s true.” She adds, and her next sentence was like a stab to the heart. “I failed them.”
So this was like a fucking mirror. This was so horrifyingly familiar.
.
The ever so tired looking cop shook his head as he spoke those words. The cop mutters something along the lines of, ‘Your parents could never think of you as a failure’, while slinging the coat around his shoulders comfortably.
.
Bruce tried not to swallow noticeably. “Do you think they would want you to think that?” He pulled it from Gordon’s script of that night. “Do you think that they would want you to feel that way?” Alfred’s script. The only two people who could knock some sense into him.
“You don’t know what they would have wanted.” She snapped after shaking her head. “You didn’t-” She shutters. “You don’t know them.”
A few tears fall.
Fuck. He was really bad at this.
“Okay.” He ponders. “I get it.” Something else comes to mind. “I don’t know them, however, wouldn’t you think they would want you to be happy?”
And that broke the dam. Those salty tears running down her cheeks as her sobs made an appearance again.
“I-I g-guess your ri-right…” She chokes, shaking.
Great. Great comforting skills. He tells himself, but he couldn’t stop there, even if he couldn’t dig himself out of this hole he’s made.
“Hey,” He softens again, just in time to be a hypocrite. “It’s okay to be sad that they’re gone, cause I’ve been in your shoes before, I know how this feels. But… your mother and father wouldn’t want you to carry all that guilt. Not if they really loved you.”
That seemed to do the trick, her whole body relaxing now, but still was on edge just in case.
“So, will you come down now?” He asked, swearing he could hear sirens in the distance; Hoping they give him just a little more time.
She nods steadily, and exposes herself a little more–
His heart stopped when he saw the color red.
Blood. Blood all over her left shoulder.
When did she-? He thinks, his mind racing again.
It hits him like a ton of bricks.
The snap. The shirek.
The shriek of pain just before-
She ashened under his staring, and almost completely closed up again when he cautiously put his hands up.
“Easy.” Sorry. “Didn’t mean to stare.” He says, truthfully, sounding apologetic. “I just notice you’re injured and-”
“It’s not deep.” She cuts him off, trying to subconsciously hide it with her knees again.
“Okay. That’s good.” It was like a sigh of relief. He starts tugging off his suit jacket, which makes her squirm a little.
“I said it’s not-”
“I know.” He holds it out, feeling like he’s walking on eggshells at the moment. He just wanted that look of uneasiness on her face to go away. “But I think everyone down there might.” He lightly gestures to down below. “So unless you don’t want to worry anyone, then you might want to put this on.”
She scoots back a millimeter.
“I won’t touch you.” He assures.
He did at a snail-like pace, but he managed to circle the jacket around her whole form, holding it open wide enough for her to get the silent message to slide her arms through. He lets go, watching her uncurl and pulls the fabric around her, engulfing her small body. Bruce then lets himself stand up, giving her enough space.
It was like watching a newborn calf trying to get up, she was slowly trying to ascend on her wobbly feet, but kept sinking up against the post. Her eyes went straight to the floor, looking nauseous at the thought they were so high up.
A newfound fear.
Fuck.
Afraid of a thing you love.
Bruce watched her swallow, before looking at him with pleading eyes.
Fuck. Those were one hell of a gut wrench to look at.
To his surprise, she reached out for him, palm with micro spots of red and crescent moon indents (Yeah, those were familiar too). He took her hand heedfully, pulling her slowly up, guiding her to the edge where the ladder was. The people down below who’s faces flushed with relief didn't seem so far to Bruce, but the trembling expression she now wore told him that she felt a million miles up in the sky.
Her hand squeezed his roughly, cracking his own knuckles. Despite the sting, he still looks at her calmly. “We’re not going to let you fall.” He assures her.
I won’t let you fall. He assures himself.
Her eyes flooded with trust, as she carefully turned and stepped down the ladder, letting her hand slip away slowly.
It didn’t seem that far down to him before, but now, it was starting too as he descended, the feeling of what was going to come next was the worst. He knows what’s next: the police, the questions, the media, etc. He knows what’s coming and-
Damn, those sirens were getting louder. Couldn't they give him more time?
“Rachel!” The ringleader boomed, his arms snaking around the girl as she collapsed into him. Every other member around him sighed, and silently thanked the universe that she was safe.
Bruce stepped to the ground, feeling Alfred's worried presence coming up to him. The lion tamer briefly turned and smiled.
“Thank you.” She mouths, before turning her attention on her family.
“Master Bruce?” Alfred whispers, as footsteps belonging to the law made their mark.
But he said nothing, his focus still on the girl engulfed in warm arms. No, not on the bodies behind him; Not on the parental figure next to him; Not on the GCPD men and women he’s memorized.
No.
He kept his focus on her. Because Dory hugged him like that when he got home.
Fuck.
This was like a mirror.
Bruce lingered, staying close enough to the kid, but also out of arm's reach to not feel invasive. It was a hard scene to swallow, hard to keep the girl’s eyes away from the yellow tape and black body bags, still shaking and whimpering at the sight of forensic experts. To get a medic near her was hard too, that’s when he had to get a little closer, his presence calming her enough to get the woman to clean and bandage.
He ignores the stares too. I mean…
He feels out of place. He feels like he’s crossing into a territory that he shouldn’t. He feels like this should be a private affair, between the girl and her circus family. He shouldn’t be here. Yet he couldn’t stand the thought of leaving the tent so soon.
“Miss Grayson, I presume?” The tired Jim Gordon said, with his tiny yellow notebook in hand.
The girl nods slowly, shifting in her seat on the bleacher. “Y-Yes.” She replies, nervously. The medic disappeared shortly afterwards, muttering something to the cop before he could start asking questions.
His face was gentle, a bit business like, but still gentle. The same expression he made to another child on a certain night. Bruce knows where this is heading. He remembers this conversation so clearly.
“I’m detective James Gordon, and I just want to ask you some questions if that’s okay?” He asks, cautiously (he must see how fragile she looks too).
The girl looked unsure at first, subconsciously pulling the jacket closer on her body, looking so small again, uncomfortable.
“It’s okay. I can come back if you like?” He continues.
Bruce starts to wonder if he should leave too. He knows Alfred’s waiting for at the exit, so maybe this is the sign he needs (but in reality could he truly leave a scene like this behind without knowing the conclusion?).
“I…” He begins, getting their attention. “I can leave if you’d like? I’m probably making you uncomfortable.”
Mixed emotions bloomed across her face, while Gordon shifted his stance, still a little surprised to run into the man that's seldomly seen.
“Well, I need an adult to accompany her since she’s a minor-” Gordon begins, thinking. “So, if you want Miss Grayson, I can wait until Mr. Haly is done speaking with-”
“Bruce can stay.” She says, quickly. She looks between the two older men, almost surprised by her own reaction. “If…” Her eyes land on Bruce, looking like a kicked puppy. “If that’s okay with you… Sir?”
Bruce saw those eyes again, which was another wrench to the gut.
Damn.
This kid was hitting places he didn’t know he had (Or were years being a vigilante numbing those places?).
“Okay.” Gordon replies, taking what he could get. “Is that okay with you, Mr. Wayne?”
“Yes.” Bruce replies, calmly, also ready to take what he could get out of this. Unnoticed, of course.
“Okay.” He raises his pen to the paper, ready for any clues that would be useful. “So, Miss Grayson-”
“Rachel.” She corrected.
“Alright, Rachel.” He straightens up again. “May I ask from your point of view what happened?”
She paled, but she straightened up herself to ‘tougher’ (For herself or towards the detective, it was still hard to tell). “I… I don’t really know, Mr. Gordon.” She replies, truthfully. “Everything seemed fine. M-My parents started their part of the act, and then I was about to join in wh-when i-it…” Rachel bite her lip to keep the tears at bay. “Y-You know… sn-snapped…”
“Snapped?” Gordon said, earning a nod. “Did anything seem out of place during the performance? Or before? After?”
Rachel half shrugs. “I-I heard… something, I think. Right b-before…” She looks at her feet. “Right before they started their act, I heard a faint sound coming from the rope. I… I-I ignored it though, I didn’t think much of it.”
“So you heard a sound? Can you describe it?”
“It… It sounded like… I don’t know, creaking. I’m not sure. It was so quiet. Thought I almost imagined it.”
“Okay.” He jotts some notes down quickly. “So you heard a noise before your parents’ act. Anything els-”
“It shouldn’t have broken like that.” Rachel says, abruptly. There was slight anger on her face that Bruce wasn’t expecting to see (or at least see it so soon).
“I’m sorry?” Gordon said, confused.
“It shouldn’t have broken.” She repeats, tears in her sapphires, but irritation in her pupils. “That trapeze is brand new. It shouldn’t break.”
Both men look stunned at her words. Was she implying-?
Gordon clears his throat. “Well, Rachel, I have been in cases where brand new things resulted in injury or even death. Especially with something of this size it’s-”
“I get that, Detective. I get what you’re saying.” She says, a bit harsher than she wanted. “But it’s protocol for us to change it when we travel a great distance. Gotham is the first city on our America tour, so this is brand new. If you don’t believe me we still have the crate it came in-”
She gestures to the outside of the tent, and finishes with “-And we always, always, triple check the trapeze before every show. So it was fine before the show started. So how come it decided to break like that?”
Bruce could feel himself holding his breath, because he knows her underlying meaning towards those words.
No. She can’t be thinking what I’m thinking this is. He tells himself, just as Gordon spoke.
“Rachel, are you… implying that the equipment was sabotaged?” He asks, slowly picking up any signs that would prove he was in the wrong. “Are you implying that your parents were…?”
Murder. Bruce’s eyes snapped to hers subtly. God he hopes he was wrong. He hoped that maybe he was looking into this too much, but if the kid thinks it-
They’re fucked.
Rachel swallowed, but stayed strong despite her orbs glassing over. “I’m not saying it was, but this is Gotham isn’t it? And tonight's performance was all about showing the people that the city was finally reopening. So don’t you think it’s odd that a death happened?” She explains, brows pushed together. “But who knows though, maybe it was an equipment failure, but I’m telling you detective that it shouldn’t have broken the way it did. Trust me.”
Murder. She thinks it’s murder too. Fuck. He scolded, and waited to see what the cop’s reaction to her allegations were. But the look on his face told him that Gordon thought it all made sense too.
“That’s a bold statement Rachel, and I’ll have to take it with a grain of salt for right now.” Gordon said, keeping his stature. “However, may I ask who put up the trapeze today? Just so I can ask them some questions too.”
“Yeah.” She frowns sadly. “It was my father, Conner, and… I think it was Kenji? Or Daniel? One of those two. But that’s all I know.”
“And that’s fine. I appreciate your cooperation.” He faces Bruce, who tries his best not to look on edge. “Now, Mr. Wayne, has anyone interviewed you for your statement yet?”
“No, sir.” Bruce said, setting his own thoughts aside.
“Well, do you mind if I ask you some questions?” Gordon asked, flipping to a new page.
“I don’t.”
“Good. So, Mr. Wayne-”
“Excuse me, Detective.” The voice of Officer Martinez said, an unsettling expression bestowed on his face. “Sorry to interrupt, but the kid’s gotta go. Commissioner Loeb’s orders.”
“Go? To the station? Already?” Gordon asked, surprised.
He kept his voice low, not wanting the girl to hear. “Not to the station. To Juvie.”
“What?”
“Why Juvie?” Bruce couldn’t help but ask, because… what and why?
Martinez looked torn between sharing it with a civilian, but it looks like he didn’t have much choice, the look on the billionaire’s face was enough to tell the officer he wasn't going to be backing down any time soon.
His focus remained on his superior, but still paid heed to the other adult. “Since the kid isn’t technically a U.S. citizen, and since she's blood to the victims, she’s a suspect.” He explained, painfully.
“A suspect?” Gordon asked, irritated by this call. “So we need to take her to the station. Or keep her somewhere in arms reach in case she actually is responsible.”
“I get it, Gordon, but this isn’t our call. She’s gotta go there.” He frowns. “Trust me, a couple other detectives tried to push their luck with Loeb, and he ain’t going to budge.”
“Martinez-”
“It’s alright, Detective.” Rachel’s voice slithers through the harsh whispers. All eyes were on her as she stood up, fixing the jacket as she became small again. “I understand. I’ll go.”
Gordon’s face dropped, almost looking pitiful now. “Are you sure? I can try pulling a few strings.”
“It’s fine.” She flashes a small genuine smile. “Thank you, Detective. I hope you can figure out what happened.” She turns towards the other man who she can’t thank enough. “And thank you, Bruce. For helping me tonight.”
Before either of them could get a sentence out, she bows her head as she follows the apologetic Martinez, leaving behind a feeling of hollowness, sitting on something empty that Bruce knew wasn’t right. Between leaving a child without parents, and the way she explained everything about the trapeze, he knows there’s something far more bigger than he expects this should be. Because Rachel was right about one thing.
This was Gotham after all.
“What will happen to her?” He asked, curious and concerned. He could only imagine what the next step they’ll take with this kid.
Gordon sighs. “Well, I’m not really sure. The original plan was just to keep the circus performers near the station so we can ask them questions, but it looks like since a lot of them are foreigners, including her, the people we suspect the most are going to have to be stationed somewhere… harsher.”
He notices Bruce’s slight disgust and continues, “I know. I don’t like that either, and frankly, between you and me Mr. Wayne, I don’t like the way Commissioner Loeb thinks. I’m going to try to see if I can get the Mayor to help with this case, maybe she can veto his ‘great’ ideas.”
Bruce watches the last bit of her disappear from the tent, his emotions weighing in again. “And if this does get vetoed, and she’s not a suspect, where will she go?”
Gordon blinks at that question, but still answers it. “Well, some of the circus members can take her in, but that’s only temporarily. Unfortunately, her parents left no will.” He raises an eyebrow. “Why do you ask?”
Silence, because it hurts. He’s been in the girl’s shoes before. He knows what it’s like to lose everything in one day.
.
“And it only takes ONE bad day to go insane, Batsy. I sure did.” The clown smile sent shivers down his spine.
.
That phrase sticks to him like glue, because Bruce knows if it wasn’t for Alfred pulling him back up from the other side, he’s not sure what he would have become. And that girl has nobody.
He didn’t say anything about that, and just quickly, but politely, gave the older man his statement.
Bruce tugs on his collar and loosens his tie even more as he makes his way towards Alfred who was at the edge of the tent. The man had his arms crossed, the slit of moonlight hitting his skeptical features. He didn’t look quite happy either.
“Did you give them your statement?” Bruce asked, right as he brushed past him, hurrying them both outside.
“I did. I suppose you did as well, Sir?” Alfred said, following closely. The parking lot was pretty much empty except for a few seemingly unoccupied cars that weren’t police related. A perfect isolated spot for his questioning. “And what was all that about?”
“All about what?” He kept his focus ahead, beelining for the passenger side of the car.
But Alfred wasn't having it. He slammed his palm on the door, his arm stretched out between the vehicle and his master. He gave him a stern look.
“Look, sometimes it’s hard for me to read what is going on in that head of yours, but I do know when you turn on that detective brain.” Alfred points out. “So what were you asking Mr. Gordon?”
Bruce’s focus ended up anywhere but the man in front of him, knowing well enough he’s cornered. “I was asking what was going to happen to Rachel.”
“Rachel?”
“The girl.”
“I figured that’s what you were asking. But what for?” He tilted his head, looking for an answer. He was met with a long silence, which was enough for him to know what his intentions were. “You want to take her in?”
Alfred was met with an even stare of his Master; his arms stiff and lips pursed together. Not the first time he’s seen this look either, but there was something else in those eyes that he hasn’t seen before.
“Bruce… are you sure?” He asked, still stern, but more in a softer tone. This man had just witnessed history’s repeat, and knew that it was hitting all the right nerves. “Are these the emotions talking? Or is this actually your head? Because-”
He lightly touches Bruce’s shoulder. “I don’t doubt you and that heart of yours, and forget the financial cost of this idea, but this is a huge responsibility. If you do this, this is a non-stop, 24/7 job. Probably more pressure and more responsibility than your night job.”
Bruce tightens his jaw, his gaze becoming more dead serious now. “I know. But what happened to Edward Nashton and to any other orphans shouldn't have happened to her. At least when it happened to me I had you to back me up when I lost everyone. She doesn’t.”
Alfred raised an unconvincing eyebrow. “And… that's the only reason behind all this?”
“You know the answer to that.” Came the quiet tone, along with the distant glint again. Bruce could see something haunting that the other man couldn’t. “I listened to her statement, there’s something more going on, and she deserves closure. She— They all do.”
Alfred lets out a puff of air, a small shake in his head before looking stern again. “And you’ll be there for her?” He begins, searching deep inside his ward. “And will you accept all the emotional baggage and possible burdens and/or… demons she may carry?”
A quicken heartbeat.
“Yes.” Came the short response.
“And you promise to change for her if necessary?”
There was a delay in Bruce’s eyes, but when he saw Alfred’s dour expression, he immediately changed.
“Yes.” He replies, which was enough for the older man.
Bruce instantly opened the door when the Butler unlocked the car, and before he even thought about sliding in, his decision was put to the test yet again.
“Let me say one more thing, Master Bruce.” Alfred begins, still holding up that somber exterior. He made sure his boy was giving him his whole undivided attention before continuing his last few thoughts. “I’ll do anything to make sure this whole thing will happen, but let’s make one thing clear, this is not my responsibility.”
He touches his chest to make a point, and resumes with, “Now I will feed her, talk to her, take her places if necessary, but that’s all limited. Because once you sign those papers she becomes your child. Which means, whatever problems she may face, whether that means she’s sustains an injury, or if she decides to start rebelling like a teenager, that’s not on me.”
He points to his ward. “That’s on you. That child is your daughter until the day you no longer walk this Earth. I know your mind’s already made up, but I want you to think about the weight that your name holds, along with that other guy may hold. So unless you think you’re ready to balance your multiple lives with parenthood, and promise to come home alive every night to that child, then go for it.”
Alfred’s shoulder sagged, his expression softened to concern. “But if you can’t commit to those things, then I’m sorry to say I will not stand by for you to hurt that child even more than she already is.”
He grows quiet and turns on his heels, walking away to the other side of the vehicle, where that would be the last thing other than ‘goodnight’ he would say. The car ride back to the tour was enough for everything to simmer in the young man’s mind.
You may call this tough love but it’s what Bruce needed to hear, but still— His mind was already made up, he wanted to take the girl in, but can he truly keep that promise? Can he really balance three lives at once?
A big face for the city.
A creature of the night.
A parental figure for a hurt child.
Could he juggle all three? Or would he have to bury one for the kid’s sake?
_____________________________________________________________
A/N: So I felt like a lot of fics I read with Bruce adopting doesn't really show any "tough love" between him and Alfred, and since this is a still a younger Bruce Wayne I felt like he needed to get some sense knocked into him first before "officially" decides to adopt a kid. But that's just me wanting an excuse to write more interactions between the two men.
As always, Thanks for reading. Have a good rest of you day/night :D
Fics that have inspired my story/Fics that I love:
The Batman & Robin -DemonDean10
take these broken wings and learn to fly - fishingclock
The Batman: Into The Light - Bayfire
#the batman 2022#the batman spoilers#the batman#the batman movie#robert pattinson#battinson#battinson and robin#barry keoghan#barry keoghan joker#paul deno#the riddler#andy serkis#alfred pennyworth#catwoman#selina kyle#female dick grayson#dick grayson#robin#female robin#batman and robin#the batman 2022 robin#edward nygma#edward nashton#james gordon#jim gordon#jeffery wright#bruce wayne#bruce wayne and his serial adoption tendencies#emo bruce wayne#bruce wayne x oc
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Dean Winchester: Brandy
*Credit to the gif owner*
Pairing: Dean W. x Fem!Reader
Pov: Deans
Warnings: Drinking, drunk texting, bad dancing, having to rescue Dean, Friends to loversish, Believing in destiny kinda.
Summary: Dean spends the whole night at the bar, tryin' every bottled drink. Ends up drunk texting Y/n and being completely honest with her
Word Count: 2.1k
A/N: (Based on the song Wine, Beers, Whiskey by Little Big Town)
Dean Winchester Master List
Main Master List
I sat at the bar of the old bar. It reminded me of Harvelle's. The old smell, the plaid-up men and women that I noticed came walking in through that door.
It was amazing. I was a drinker, always had been. The first drink I had with my dad, I was fifteen. A beer we shared, that should be an amazing moment for father and son, but it was ruined for the simple fact that we had no home, and my father and instructed me to take care of my younger brother.
I grew up, mostly without my father after that. He prioritizes hunting and saving people over me, and over his youngest son. Everything was always secrets. So many secrets, that it's started to become how Sam and I live.
There were certain things that I had learned from my father. How to protect, how to be anger almost all of the time, and how to handle my liquor.
So I sat at the bar, my hand around an iced cold glass of beer. I sipped and watched people. I wasn't in the mood to hook up with any. I mean yeah sure there was probably someone out there that was meant for me, but that's getting into destiny shit.
You know how bars, almost always have music playing. Well being in the good old state of Kansas, so pretty much any place you walk into is playing music more specifically country music.
It started to come through the speakers. I had already been here for what seemed like hours, I had enough beers, that I had switched to drinking something harder.
Something like a whiskey.
"My friend named Jack"
"He's got my back"
"He always seems to know right where I'm at"
Well, this is definitely a song I could get used to listening to. I don't think anybody else was listening. All having their own private conversations. The barmaid was a beautiful young lady, but even still with her crop top of a shirt and the cleavage that was burst out of her shirt.
I wasn't interested in her. Every time she'd come over. "You need anything else sweetheart." Bending halfway down to try and have me look down.
I waved her off. Maybe I should try something else. Waving her back over, I asked "Do you have something stronger?" she looked at me sideways, before saying "If it's something stronger than you want I've got you" and then she walked away.
When she returned with the rest of the bottle of Jose. A half left standing in the clear bottle. "Here's something stronger, forty percent." She said taking my empty beer bottle and empty cup that had been holding the recently downed Jack Daniels.
"My friend Jose"
"He likes to play"
"He's always up for anything I say"
I downed the rest of the bottle, not even needing the new glass she had bought for me to use. Slamming the bottle down on the countertop. She snapped her head around, our eye making contact before she grabbed something off the shelf.
"If that's the type of night you're having you should have said." She said handing me a half empty glass of crown apple. "Thanks, I can handle my liquor so no need to worry about me," I said as she left to take care of other people sitting at the bar.
I sat alone. Like I always have, it was the best way to number one people watch, but it also gave me a reason to think. Nobody trying to pull my belt out of my jean loops. No need to save someone this was my safe haven sometimes.
Alcohol was my safe haven. It's always been that way. It's always been able to understand me ten times more than Sammy. Well I mean there was always Y/n, she lived with us, but she was my friend, my best friends. There is something that she just doesn't need to know.
I took a swig, drinking down most of the bottle.
"Little bit of red, lotta bit of crown"
"Don't matter what it is"
"I'm gonna drink it down, down, down"
Was it just me or was this song getting better by the second. Maybe, It was just me. I looked around me, couples stood dancing to this song, some sat with clasped hands. And the older men sat at the bar, I was an older man sitting at bar watching like a creep.
"The wine, the beer, the whiskey"
"Are the only things that fix me"
"I'm not saying it's a problem"
"I can stop it if I wanna"
"But the wine, the beer, the whiskey"
"They always get me"
Wow, I'm started to get the idea that I can relate to this song. The lyrics are right you know. Liquor is the only thing that can fix me, calms me down and then I sleep it off. It's right the lyrics I can stop if I wanna. But do I really wanna stop?
"Here," The young lady said, handing me a made drink "Here's a gin and tonic." Walking away yet again to take care of other patrons. A gin and tonic, not a drink I was every ballses enough to try.
Taking the little green umbrella out, I took my first sip. "Shit that's actually really good," I said more to myself than anyone else. I looked up from my gin and tonic drink, looking at the glass wall.
It held so many drinks that I hadn't heard of before. Like a new drink called "Screwball", "Kingfisher". Odd brand names but they all looked like awesome drinks. But of course, there was the regular drinks, the brandy, sherry which is a wine, and Jim Beam
"My friend named Gin"
"She's got some friends"
"I'm talking Brandy, Sherry, and their brother Jim"
"Hey, so it sorta looks like we're going along with the song, so I'll grab you a shot of rum, Captain." She said pulling a tiny shot glass out and pulling the bottle off of the shelf.
She slides the small glass across the table, I caught some rum tipping out and falling over my thumb. 'I wonder what Y/n would do if she was here with me? I wonder if I would have her pushed up against the wall, kissing down her neck.'
Shaking my head; stop thinking of her that she... She doesn't think of you in the same way, you are an idiot. Taking my rum-filled shot quickly. I pulled out my phone.
'Don't do what you're about to do'
"I'll be fine," I said to myself. The room was starting to spin. Or maybe I was just spinning. 'Stop thinking about Y/n. She doesn't need to deal with your drunk ass' "Oh come on I'm not that drunk" I was still sitting at the bar, but people were starting to look at me.
>Y/n, you know I've just gotta say. YOu're beautiful.
Dots played at the bottom of my screen.
>Dean that's very nice.
Minutes pass, so I send another message.
>You know I think I'm falling.
Immediate answers came
>Falling?? What do you mean?
>Winchester? Where are you?
She asked, she only ever called me Winchester when she was pissed off, but I was too worried about telling her the truth.
>Y/n, I've spent the past forever fawning over you. I spent it, wanting, yearning for you. I guess after years of wanting you, years after having nobody in my bed. Wishing and hoping that it was you.
>Dean send me your current loca!
>We can talk more tomorrow
I was able to send her my location, she pulled up in a rather crappy car. Walking in distress, her black night shorts, a pair of slippers on, and my red and black plaid shirt on.
She came over, apologizing grabbing my arm, and wrapping it over her head. "Dean, let's go, now," she said dragging me out. "You smell so good Y/n," I said going to pet her hair. She rested me up against the side of the baby.
"Where are your keys, Dean?" She asked her voice starting to become more worrisome. "In my.." I stopped talking and just reached for her hand, shoving it into my jacket pocket. "Right here!" I said I let go of her wrist and she looked up at me.
She got me into the car, somehow. I rested my head against the back of the front seat. "I felt and heard the rumble of baby engine. "Dean, what were you doing?" I looked over at her. "I wanted a drink."
The rest of the drive was quiet, she helped me out of the car after shutting the loud engine off. The sound finally stops bouncing off the cinderblock walls. "Dean. Couch, bed, or table?" She asked.
"Couch, comfier," I said breathing in more of Y/n's scent. I've never been this close to her, for this long. she smelled like a garden of flowers and honey. she smelt of summer. She looked like summer half the time.
"Are you a god?" I blurted out. Her eyebrows creased, licking her lips. "No, Dean I'm not a god," Y/n said reaching around behind the couch and grabbing a blanket but not before untying my boots.
She tossed the blanket over my body and went to walk off. "Y/n?" I asked. "Yes, Dean." She said with a sigh. "Can you get me a water, so I can maybe explain myself?" I asked.
A pleading look on my face, the puppy dog eyes I had learned from Sam. "Fine Winchester, but you've five to explain yourself." She said stomping off into the kitchen, and back with a tall glass of ice water.
She stood next to me. "Can you sit? Please Y/n?" I begged. I sipped on the water, trying to regain any sort of control of myself. She sat crisscrossing her legs. Her exposed legs, my eyes drifted from her legs.
My eyes came back up to hers. "Start explaining Winchester, you've got four minutes." I shook my head, clasping my hands together. I cleared my throat.
"I've sat here for the past few years, wondering why everything seems weird. It's hard. y'know because that song was right in the bar. I don't want to be alone not anymore, I don't wanna watch the couple dances anymore, I wanna be one of the couples, that hold each other hands."
I said, looking at her. She broke our eye contact when she started to fidget with the bottom of my flannel. "You know that's my flannel?" I asked grabbing her hands.
"I want you, I want you in my bed. I want to drink with my girl. I want to love you because Y/n that's really the truth." I said, "I love you Y/n" We sat in silence for a few, "Y/n please say something?" Now I'm begging her, this entire night has been a fucking mess.
"What are you waiting for you dumb Winchester? Come kiss your girl." It only took a few moments for the words to click in my mind. I grabbed the back of her neck and she fell into my lap.
It wasn't like fireworks or lighting coming down. It just fit so well, it was more like finishing a puzzle, puzzle pieces just fitting together so well. A missing part of me found filled and always there for you.
"Dean? Y/n?" I heard Sam said and properly say "Nevermind." And leave. I felt Y/n's lips leave mine. Realizing that I needed air, my lungs burning but in a good way.
"That was something," I said, catching my breath. "That's was awesome!" Y/n said kissing chastely. "Did you hear Sam?" I asked her, she giggled she rolled her. "I bet he's in there going I just knew it," Y/n said. I laughed and hugged.
"My feet hurt, I think I may have blacked out and started dancing by myself," I said, flexing my socked toes. "You dancing!?" Y/n questioned, "Oh we've gotta go back to that bar and get that tape, for FBI reasons." Y/n said.
My mouth gaping open. She laughed more, and she started to have a few tears. "You know Y/n. I'll you back for that, now come on. You'll love the memory foam bed." I said, Whispering closing to Y/n's ear "It remembers you Y/n." My hand landing on her lower as we walked to my room.
Completed on: 05/12/2021
Posted on: 05/14/2021
Dean Winchester Tag List: @akshi8278 @deanswaywardgirl @hit-meup69 @fofisstilinski @doctorlilo @wonderfulworldofwinchester
#dean winchester#supernatural x reader#fem reader#dean x reader#dean x y/n#supernatural#supernatural fic#supernatualfluff#sammy#drinking#drunk#alcohol#liquor#bad dancer#drunk texting#drunk texts#spn fangirl#dean fanfiction#dean fluff#dean fic
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Disney Songs That Hit Different™ When You’re Autistic, a full Spotify Playlist
Open to updates should anyone notice a song I missed!
Tracklist and specific lyrics that fuck me up under the cut:
The World Above - The Little Mermaid Broadway Production
“It’s like my life was wrong
And somehow, now, at last I’m in
My own skin
Up here in the world above!”
“The sun’s so bright here
Upon my face!
It feels so right here
Warm as love...
Life seems to be
Almost calling to me...” - stimmy
Belle - Beauty and the Beast
“The bookshop. I just finished the most wonderful story. About a beanstalk and an ogre and a—” - y’all ever been interrupted on an infodump and then realize nobody cared? yeah that feeling
“Look there she goes, that girl is strange, no question
Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?
Never part of any crowd
Cause her head's up on some cloud
No denying she’s a funny girl, that Belle...”
“[That one? But you've read it twice!]
It's my favorite. Far-off places, daring swordfights, magic spells, a prince in disguise...” - SPECIAL INTEREST
“Look there she goes, that girl is so peculiar
I wonder if she's feeling well
With a dreamy, far-off look
And her nose stuck in a book
What a puzzle to the rest of us is Belle...”
“Oh, isn't this amazing?
It's my favorite part because you'll see
Here's where she meets Prince Charming
But she won't discover that it's him till chapter three...” - IF NOBODY LISTENS TO MY INFODUMP I SHALL INFODUMP TO SHEEP
“But behind that fair façade
I'm afraid she's rather odd
Very diff'rent from the rest of us
She's nothing like the rest of us...”
More - deleted song from Moana
honestly the entire song is a bit “want to break off and learn about special interest / be in my own world / be myself” mood
“The other kids just dance and play
How can you play? There's so much out there to explore...”
“She stares at the sky, she stumbles down the beaches
She mumbles all the names that her Gramma Tala teaches
With one foot here and another in a distant past
She’s growing up too fast...”
Part of Your World - The Little Mermaid
not only a BIG SPECIAL INTEREST MOOD... big “i don’t belong here” mood...
“Look at this trove, treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Looking around here, you'd think
Sure, she's got everything”
“I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty
I've got whooz-its and whats-its galore
You want thing-a-mabobs? I've got twenty
But who cares? No big deal. I want more!”
“Betcha on land, they understand
Bet they don't reprimand their daughters
Bright young women, sick of swimmin',
Ready to stand...”
“When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love,
Love to explore that shore up above?”
More Than Just the Spare - deleted song from Frozen
“I'm not part of the town, not born to be queen
Just somebody hopelessly in-between
She's the scholar, athlete, poet
I'm the screw up, don't I know it...”
“I may lack style and I may lack grace
And once in a while I fall on my face
But this little button deserves a place in the sky
This button wants to fly- Wait, buttons can't fly, it doesn't make any sense!”
“And maybe I can't be the perfect one
And maybe I err on the side of fun...”
“Someday I'll find my thing, a thing that's all my own
That thing that makes me part of something, not just all alone
If only all this feeling I have in my heart,
could mean something to someone, how I'd love to play that part!”
“Like a button, like a horseshoe
Like a girl who's bad at metaphors!”
Proud of Your Boy - Aladdin Broadway Production
“So say I'm slow for my age
A late bloomer, Okay, I agree...”
“But I'll get over these lousin' up
Messin' up, screwin' up times
You'll see, Ma, now comes the better part
Someone's gonna make good, cross his stupid heart
Make good and finally make you proud of your boy...”
“Say I'm a goldbrick, a good-off, no good
But that couldn't be all that I am...”
“Though I can't make myself taller
Or smarter or handsome or wise
I'll do my best, what else can I do?
Since I wasn't born perfect like Dad or you
Mom, I will try to try hard to make you
Proud of your boy...”
Let Me Make You Proud - Tangled: The Series
“Maybe I make things a mess
And maybe you're right to have doubts in me
Maybe, but nevertheless
If you for once could just trust me...”
“And when I return
And I'm more than you dreamt I'd be
Maybe then you will realize
That you never actually knew me at all...”
“Cause I long for that look of surprise
When you see your son rising at last...”
Almost There - The Princess and the Frog
“Ain't got time for messin' around
And it's not my style...”
“But I know exactly where I'm going
Getting closer and closer every day...”
“People down here think I'm crazy
But I don't care
Trials and tribulations,
I've had my share...”
Home - deleted song from Frozen 2
BIG routine song
“Wandering through the town with everyone doing all of their stuff
Somewhere in my heart I feel I've not yet done enough
For these people I know, this place that I love so...”
“I know how fragile things can be. If I lost them, I'd lose me
They're my ocean, they're my shore. I wanna give them more...”
In a World of My Own / Very Good Advice - mashup cover of Alice in Wonderland
“They would sit and talk to me for hours
When I'm lonely in a world of my own...”
“I could listen to a babbling brook
And hear a song that I could understand
I keep wishing it could be that way
Because my world would be a wonderland...”
“I give myself very good advice
But I very seldom follow it
That explains the trouble that I'm always in...”
“Be patient is very good advice
But the waiting makes me curious
And I'd love the change
Should something strange begin...”
“Will I ever learn to do the things I should?”
Reflection - Mulan
“Now I see that if I were truly to be myself
I would break my family's heart...”
“Somehow I cannot hide
Who I am, though I've tried...”
“How I pray that a time will come
I can free myself from their expectations
On that day, I'll discover someway to be myself
And to make my family proud...”
“They want a docile lamb, no-one knows who I am
Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide?
Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time?”
If I Wasn’t So Small - Piglet’s Big Movie
“It's not as if I want to rule the world
Or even the forest, or even one tree
I suppose I could be happy, if I could be helpful
With just a little bit of noticing me...”
“I'd be needed and useful
More each passing day...”
Jack’s Lament - The Nightmare Before Christmas
“Oh somewhere deep inside of these bones
An emptiness began to grow
There's something out there far from my home
A longing that I've never known...”
Everything I Ever Thought I Knew - Tangled: The Series
“I thought no one could love me
And how could I have known?
I was wrong, oh so wrong...”
“Then I thought I found it, a dream that I could share
I thought I was so lucky, it almost wasn't fair
I thought I knew my purpose, I thought that I knew where I belong
But I was wrong...”
“Now that it's all crumbling, help me understand
If none of it was really me then who am I supposed to be?”
“I guess my life meant nothing
I guess it was a sham
I guess I'm someone else now
I wonder who I am...”
I’ll Try - Return to Neverland
“I am not a child now
I can take care of myself
I mustn't let them down now
Mustn't let them see me cry...”
“My whole world is changing
I don't know where to turn
I can't leave you waiting
But I can't stay and watch the city burn...”
Waiting in the Wings (Reprise) - Tangled: The Series
“I craved so much, and yet I kept on waiting
One glance, one touch, and I just kept on waiting...”
Waiting in the Wings - Tangled: The Series
“Guess we all are born with parts to play
Some of us are stars, and some are just in the way
I know I was meant for glory
But that's never what my story brings
And yet I keep on waiting...”
“When you have the passion and the drive
You expect your moment centre stage to arrive
I show up with heart ablazing
Ready to achieve amazing things
But I'm left waiting in the wings...”
“It's always someone else who sings
While I'm left waiting in the wings...”
“Always overlooked unfairly, while pretending that it barely stings
But it stings, yes, it stings...”
I’m Still Here (Jim Theme) - Treasure Planet
“I am a question to the world, not an answer to be heard
Or a moment that's held in your arms...”
“And how can you learn what's never shown
Yeah, you stand here on your own
They don't know me, cause I'm not here...”
“And I want to tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man?
They can't break me
As long as I know who I am...”
“They can't tell me who to be
Cause I'm not what they see
Yeah, the world is still sleeping
While I keep on dreaming for me
And their words are just whispers and lies
That I'll never believe...”
“And I want a moment to be real
Want to touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on, and feel I belong
And how can you say I'll never change
They're the ones that stay the same
I'm the one now
Cause I'm still here!”
God Help the Outcasts - The Hunchback of Notre Dame
“Yes, I know I'm just an outcast
I shouldn't speak to You
Still, I see Your face and wonder
Were You once an outcast, too?”
“God help the outcasts, hungry from birth
Show them the mercy they don't find on earth
God help my people - we look to You, still
God help the outcasts or nobody will...”
“Please help my people, the poor and downtrod
I thought we all were the children of God?”
So Close - Enchanted
honestly the entirety of enchanted is an autism mood but,
“So close to reaching
That famous happy end
Almost believing
This one's not pretend...”
Into the Unknown - cover of Frozen 2
“There's a thousand reasons I should go about my day
And ignore your whisper which I wish would go away...”
“I’ve had my adventure, I don’t need something new...”
“Or are you someone out there who's a little bit like me?
Who knows deep down I'm not where I am really meant to be?“
“Are you out there? [Do you know me?]
Can you feel me? Can you show me?”
Someone’s Waiting For You - The Rescuers
“Don't cry, little one
There'll be a smile where a frown use to be
You'll be part of the love that you see...”
Sally’s Song - The Nightmare Before Christmas
“I sense there's something in the wind
That feels like tragedy's at hand
And though I'd like to stand by him
Can't shake this feeling that I have...”
“Although I'd like to join the crowd
In their enthusiastic cloud
Try as I may, it doesn't last...”
Someday - The Hunchback of Notre Dame Off-Broadway Production
“Someday, when we are wiser
When the world's older, when we have learned
I pray someday we may yet live
To live and let live...”
“Someday, these dreams will all be real
Til then we'll wish upon the moon
Change will come, one day
Someday soon...”
Where Do I Go From Here - Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World
“They do what they must for now
And trust in their plan
If I trust in mine, somehow
I might find who I am...”
“The path ahead's so hard to see
It winds and bends but where it ends
Depends on only me
In my heart I don't feel part of so much I've known
Now it seems it's time to start
A new life on my own...”
Wherever You Are - Pooh’s Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin
“I'm out here in the dark, all alone and wide awake
Come and find me
I'm empty and I'm cold, and my heart's about to break
Come and find me...”
“I need you to come here and find me
Cause without you, I'm totally lost
I've hung a wish on every star
It hasn't done much good so far...”
“I used to believe in forever,
But forever’s too good to be true...”
Belle (Reprise) - Beauty and the Beast
“And for once it might be grand
To have someone understand
I want so much more than they've got planned...”
Endless Night - The Lion King Broadway Production
“Home is an empty dream
Lost to the night
Father, I feel so alone...”
“I know that the night must end
I know that the sun will rise...”
Set Yourself Free - Tangled: The Series
“Locked inside a tower, kept behind a wall
Sheltered from a world you’ve barely known
That’s the way they treat you...”
“There's much more inside of you than anyone can see
And now the choice is yours, life waits beyond the doors
So step on through, the time has come
And only you can set yourself free!”
“So use the gifts you're given
Make the world your own
Look inside your heart and find the key...”
“Bound up by your worries
Trapped by your mistakes
Forced to play a role you never chose...”
“No more letting someone else define you to a T
You know that you are strong
You've known it all along...”
Let it Go - Frozen Broadway Production
“The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I've tried
Don't let them in, don't let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know
Well, now they know!”
“I don't care what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway...”
“It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I’m free!”
“Let it go, let it go
And I’ll rise like the break of dawn!
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone!”
How Far I’ll Go (Reprise) - Moana
“All that time wondering where I need to be is behind me
I'm on my own to worlds unknown...”
Colors of the Wind - Pocahontas
“You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew, you never knew...”
Strangers Like Me - Tarzan
when u meet another autistic person....
“Whatever you do, I'll do it, too
Show me everything and tell me how
It all means something
And yet nothing to me...”
“I can see there's so much to learn
It's all so close and yet so far
I see myself as people see me
Oh, I just know there's something bigger out there...”
Beyond My Wildest Dreams - The Little Mermaid Broadway Production
“Look over there! Oh my god!
How very odd! And what might they be?
Something splendid, maybe!
Look over here! Could you bust?
Isn't it just bedazzling, dazing, utterly amazing!
Gazing 'round, it's like, to die!
Just seeing it feels so good, I'd scream if I only could!”
“Just keeps on gawking-
Weird how she's not talking!”
“I'd hoped and wished
My life would feel enchanted!
Wished and prayed
The fates would hear my plea...”
Watch What Happens - Newsies Broadway Production
“’Write what you know’
So they say, all I know is I don't know what to write
Or the right way to write it...”
“It could practically write itself
And let's pray it does, cause as I may have mentioned
I have no clue what I'm doing!”
“Speak up, take a stand, and there's someone to write about it
That's how things get better...”
[also. the squeal.]
“Like someone said, "Power tends to corrupt"
And absolute power, wait, wait, corrupts?
Absolutely, that is genius!
But give me some time, I'll be twice as good as that six months from never...”
“Just look around at the world we're inheriting
And think of the one we'll create...”
“Give those kids and me the brand new century and watch what happens
It's David and Goliath, do or die
The fight is on and I can't watch what happens
But all I know is nothing happens if you just give in
It can't be any worse than how it's been
And it just so happens that we just might win
So whatever happens, let's begin!”
Son of Man - Tarzan
“Oh, the power to be strong and the wisdom to be wise
All these things will come to you in time
On this journey that you're making, there'll be answers that you'll seek
And it's you who'll climb the mountain
It's you who'll reach the peak...”
“Though there's no one there to guide you, no one to take your hand
But with faith and understanding
You will journey from boy to man...”
“In learning you will teach and in teaching you will learn
You'll find your place beside the ones you love
Oh, and all the things you dreamed of, the visions that you saw
Well, the time is drawing near now
It's yours to claim it all!”
Strange Sight - Tinkerbell and the Legend of the Neverbeast
“You stand in the light
You're wrong, but you're right
And my heart's beating wildly
Strange how I'm scared but delighted
Afraid, but excited too!”
“Do you long to be left all alone?
Set apart with a heart made of stone?
Let me help, let's begin
Let me learn, won't you let me in?
All the light, let it show...”
“You are a strange sight, some new kind of wonder
With good hidden under, I'm sure that it's true
Strange how your dark doesn't faze me...”
Wind in My Hair - Tangled: The Series
“What if the doors began to open?
What if the knots became untied?
What if one day, nothing stood in my way
And the world was mine?”
“Plenty of mysteries to unravel
Tons of mistakes to not regret
So much to see, and to do and to be
A whole life to spend
And it doesn't end...”
For a Moment - The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea
“This way is left, but which way is right?
Well, now I'll be circling in circles all night...” - direction problems amirite
“This is more than my thoughts ever thought it could be
For a moment, just a moment, lucky me...”
“For a moment, I can feel,
All the dreams I've been dreaming are real,
Wish my mother could hear it, the sea is my song
For a moment, just a moment I belong...”
Speechless - Aladdin 2019 Remake
i would like to send this song to autism $peaks (hate group) underlined in red and with a photo attached of me with a middle finger up
“Here comes a wave meant to wash me away
A tide that is taking me under
Swallowing sand, left with nothing to say.
My voice drowned out in the thunder...”
“Written in stone, every rule, every word
Centuries old and unbending
‘Stay in your place, better seen and not heard.’
Well, now that story is ending!”
“Let the storm in!
I cannot be broken!
No, I won't live unspoken!
Cause I know that I won't go speechless!”
“Try to lock me in this cage!
I won't just lay me down and die!
I will take these broken wings
And watch me burn across the sky!”
“I won't be silenced!
Though you wanna see me tremble when you try it,
All I know is I won't go speechless, speechless!
Cause I'll breathe when they try to suffocate me!
Don't you underestimate me!
Cause I know that I won't go speechless!”
Show Yourself - Frozen 2
the siren call... stimmy
“Something is familiar, like a dream I can reach but not quite hold
I can sense you there, like a friend I've always known
I'm arriving, it feels like I am home...”
“I have always been a fortress
Cold secrets deep inside...”
“Are you the one I've been looking for all of my life?
Show yourself!
I'm ready to learn...”
“I've never felt so certain! All my life, I've been torn
But I'm here for a reason- could it be the reason I was born?
I have always been so different, normal rules did not apply
Is this the day? Are you the way
I finally find out why?”
“I am found!”
“You are the one you've been waiting for
All of your life...”
Here I Am - Camp Rock
“They tell you a good girl is quiet and that you should never ask why
Cause it only makes it harder to fit in
And you should be happy, excited, even if you're just invited
Cause the winners need someone to clap for them...”
“It's so hard just waiting in a line that never moves
It's time you started making your own rules...”
“If how you’re living isn't working there's one thing that'll help
You got to finally just stop searching and find yourself...”
“The world better make some room
Yea move over, over
Cause you’re coming through!”
“You gotta scream until there's nothing left
With your last breath
Say here I am! Here I am!
Make em listen
Cause there is no way you'll be ignored
Not anymore...”
Us Against the Universe - Phineas and Ferb: The Movie - Candace Against the Universe
“I used to feel alone, just me against the raging tide,
But I guess I should've known that you were always on my side.
Now I don't have to be an island, cause you've been there all the while, and
Now I realize my fears weren't justified!”
“Cause as long as we're together,
We can stand and face whatever
Kind of trouble this world tries to put us in.
If you're out there on your own,
You just might take it on the chin
Cause if it's us against the universe, we win!”
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@gxmonth
Day 1: “Hero Signal”
We’re kicking things off with everyone’s favorite hero Judai/Jaden Yuki’s birthday! Show the fluffy boi some love!
((Well I won’t but the others will show some long over due love))
————-
Aster gasped for air before sighing in relief to see that everyone was ok “looks like we all survived our trials”
“Sure did…” Syrus muttered before looking around “where’s Dyspia and Jaden?!”
The woman in question cackled before emerging from the shadows with a very stunned Jaden in tow.
“Well done children... You’ve been very good... what did you think Jaden...?”
“You... you came to rescue me?”
Dyspia sighed “don’t you see Jaden... if your friends really hated you they would not have come running to your rescue... and as you can see, you don’t need to rely on Jaden for every little thing to help you... you’re all capable of helping yourselves...”
“H-how do you know about that?!” Jaden stammered.
Syrus was confused “Jaden... thought we hated him?”
“I-is this about the dark world?” Alexis finally caught on “w-we didn’t mean it!!”
“Look it doesn’t matter if you didn’t mean it or you were under Bronn’s influence. The bottom line is Jaden **believed** what you said. Why do you think he’s been avoiding you all this time. He thinks you want nothing to do with him”
They looked to see the Slifer Student’s face, hollow and empty with sorrow.
“J-Jaden!! I-I-“ Syrus stammered
“You’re the ones who trapped Jaden in this labyrinth of despair…” Dyspia smirked “I just made it visible for all to see…”
The shadows lingered around as the ominous voices turned into ones that were familiar.
Their own…
“You’re the reason I’m here in the first place!!”
“Guess we didn’t matter to you”
“I thought we were friends”
“You did this to me Jaden! It’s your fault!”
Everyone was so shocked, they barely noticed Jaden sinking into the floor of sludge in despair.
“My fault… it’s all my fault… I’m dangerous… I’m all alone…”
Syrus was crippled by guilt at first, but then he saw Jaden sinking. He had time to pity himself later, his dark self had slammed him for how much of a bad friend he was already.
Without a second thought he lunged for Jaden and held onto him. Trying to pull him out of the sludge.
“Jaden!! I can’t let you die like this but if you do take me with you!! It’s my fault that this happened!! You’ve done nothing but help me and raise me up but all I’ve ever done is drag you down or expect you to get over this… a-and when you went against Bronn and needed the me the most I wasn’t there for you!! All because I was wrapped up in my own cowardice and jealousy… I’m so sorry I let you down Jay… but I’m not going to do it any more… not matter what I’ll be here… by your side!!” He sobbed “so if this really is the end then I’ll be right here… holding on… by your side to the very end because that’s what true friends do…”
Syrus tried to pull Jaden out but despite his change of heart it wasn’t enough. He struggled, He tried, but Jaden’s heart was still so broken.
“Hang on Jay!!” Chumley appeared behind the Slifer slacker and tried to pull him up. “Come in Sy! On three!!… and three!!!” As they struggled to pull him out the koala man poured out his own heart.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you Jay! Distance and burying myself in my work is no excuse!! You helped me realise I’m worth so much more than I thought I was but I couldn’t help you when you were in the same position I was… depression hurts… it’s scary and you feel so alone and isolated… but you made me realise that it’s important to remember that friendship and bonds help you over come anything… so let me help you!! It’ll be hard and it’ll be long but I’m not giving up!! Just like you never gave up on me!!”
Suddenly another pair of arms joined the effort. “You better not die on me! You got that slacker!?”
Chazz teared up as the desperation broke his mask. “I know I’m terrible at opening up. But there were so many times when I was supposed to help you and I let you down!! Getting possessed by the light, becoming a duel ghoul, becoming Bronn’s sacrifice… and not once did you ever resent me for it!! So what makes you think some mind control would make me hate you!! You’re my best fucking friend Jaden!! Never forget that!! I can’t let you die!! You have to get out of this!! So I can be there for you like you always were for me!! I’m sorry I let you down!! I’m so so sorry!!!”
“Hang on Sarge!!” Hassleberry joined in, trying to pull Jaden out. “I need to apologise too!! Not just because of what I said at the duel with Bronn but because I always treated you weirdly about the duel spirits!! I thought you were crazy and that wasn’t fair!! I should’ve believed you from the beginning!! Before we went to the dark world!! I’m sorry for not being the friend you needed Sarge!!! But hang on!! We can get through this together!! Like we got through everything else!!”
Bastion wasn’t too far behind. “Jaden you can’t let this destroy you!! Please!!”
He held onto the other as tears ran down his cheeks “when I became the King of the Light I blamed you for it but that’s not fair!! It takes two to tango!! I’ve should’ve been stronger… I should’ve trusted you more instead of the light… you’re the first person who ever made me feel like I mattered and were so open to forgive me…. So of course I forgive you for the duel with Bronn!!! But I’m also sorry I wasn’t better support for you!! You needed me and I wasn’t there!!! I’m so sorry Jaden!! I won’t let you down again!!”
Alexis reached out as well “they’re right Jaden!! I’m so sorry I didn’t support you… I see how much my words affected you… even if I didn’t mean it that doesn’t matter, I hurt you and I can’t forgive that!! But you have to know we love you Jaden! All of us!! We love you so much and we want to help you… please believe in us”
Aster grabbed at Jaden’s jacket and tried to pull with the others “you better not die Jaden! We have been through too much to let you give in now!! I know I don’t show it but… thank you for always supporting me… you were there when I needed you and when I didn’t!! I’d be a terrible friend if I didn’t do the same for you…”
Zane and Atticus joined in too “it wasn’t fair for me to put the pressure of being the top duelist onto you Jaden, I cracked under the pressure so expecting you to handle it is just cruel!! But you’re so strong Jaden! Stronger than you know… I always believed in you so believe in yourself and us ok!?”
“Zanes right Jay! You’re so strong and because of that we relied on you too much but not anymore!! Now it’s your turn to rely on us! Got that Jay?”
Jim, Axel and Jesse watched on. Seeing these people pour their hearts out, showing how much they all loved this once person. How much those three loved him too.
They join in as well, The whole group working to pull Jaden out of the swamps of sadness. All telling this one person how much he meant to them… then… the floor stopped sinking….
Jaden snapped out of his stupor, looking at them all with tears in his eyes. “D-do I really mean that much to you?”
“Of course you do Jay…” Syrus sobbed, nuzzling his oldest friend with tears in his eyes. “We just didn’t show it until now… we thought it was obvious how much we loved you…”
“But now we’ll show it every day!” Alexis smiled softly and kissed his forehead in a maternal fashion. “We weren’t being fantastic friends before… but we’ll do better from here on out…”
“You’re a part of us Jaden” Axel nodded “always will be”
Jaden started shaking… and then a sob escaped his lips. The others let go only to hold onto him into a tight, loving group hug. Comforting him as best he could.
“I love you all too…” Jaden sobbed. “I love you all so much… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”
“We’re sorry too Jaden��” Chazz mumbled, rubbing circles on Jaden’s back.
Dyspia watched the group reconcile, a smirk gracing her black lips.
Mission accomplished…. Her work here was done.
#gxmonth2021#yugioh#yugioh gx#jaden yuki#bastion misawa#chazz princeton#yuki judai#judai yuki#misawa daichi#yu-gi-oh!#chumley huffington#aster phoenix#zane truesdale#syrus truesdale#atticus rhodes#axel brodie#jim cook#jesse anderson#alexis rhodes
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hi! could i request some dad!jim finding out you’re pregnant (but it’s very unplanned and you both are like very young adults who are definitely not ready for something like this) but he’s very excited nonetheless? thanks! <333
A/N: hello!! Thank u for requesting this 🥺💖 hope u like it!! I tried to make it pretty fluffy but ofc theres a little angst hehe. This is basically already a given but just in case - Jim is 18+ in this.
Warnings: angst revolving around being pregnant and just.. general mentions of everything that has to do w being pregnant LOL, bit of Jim being insecure for 2 like seconds, lots of fluff
As much as you would like to claim that it was a typical Friday night; to your absolute dismay you found it was proving to be quite the opposite. Instead of enjoying the night and going out with your boyfriend like you had previously planned to do - you were curled up on your bed.. in tears.
You told yourself earlier today that by now you would've pulled your shit together; atleast enough to go see Jim at the bowling alley like you had planned but.. of course, that didn't happen. Things never seemed to go according to plan as of lately.
You currently stayed buried under far too many blankets on your bed.. not bothering to watch TV or go on your phone (going on your phone would only force you to see all of the missed messages and calls you had gotten from Jim) so - you settled on listening to the stormy weather outside your window instead. Rain battering against your glass window helped distract you from your current unwanted, rational thoughts but.. it was soothing and distracting atleast. It helped you take your mind off of the problem you were currently dealing with.. which, had to do with your current state of being.
The past couple of days you had felt odd.. to say the least. At first you merely thought you were coming down with the flu; you had all of the symptoms. Like nausea, aches and pains.. but there was also some inconsistencies that started to make you question whether it was really the flu, because you didnt have a high temperature.. And thats when you conveniently missed your period.
You knew you didn't have the fucking flu.
A pregnancy test sat on your nightstand; the box it came in was discarded on the floor amongst other.. various trash. You had taken the test hours ago; and you were right about your suspicions of your illness not being the flu. The two pink lines on the pregnancy test confirmed your previous thoughts.. and that's what prompted your episode of you staying in your bed all day.
Your first instinct was to call Jim but.. you knew you couldn't do that. There was no fucking way you were ready to let him in on what was happening. You knew that you two were both completely unprepared to be parents; for multiple reasons. You were both extremely young, neither of you had super steady jobs and.. it just wasnt the right time. That's what you kept telling yourself anyway. The more you denied what was probably going to become your reality made you feel more in control and safe than how you currently felt.
However; you still were yearning to call Jim and to tell him to come over but you also didn't want to let him in on the fact that anything was wrong. He had more than enough on his plate as it was with his chaotic family (and even calling them chaotic was a nice way of putting it).. you knew that Jim didn't deserve to deal with how you were acting right now but; you were selfish. Even though you knew Jim would be better off not knowing, you still wanted nothing more than for him to hold you and tell you everything was going to be okay.. even if it was a lie.
Your train of thought was suddenly interrupted once you heard the front door of your house unlock and click open. You immediately jolted up in your bed and pushed your blankets off of you. Attempting to smooth out your clothes as fast as possible; immediately knowing that it had to be Jim Mason. After all, only one person had a key to your house besides you..
You heard his footsteps start to grow gradually louder as he approached your room.
"(Y/n)?" Jim's voice was loud and high pitched as he called out to you.
It startled you a bit to hear how concerned he sounded, but you quickly bounced out of bed and flew to the door - opening it quickly just to find Jim a foot away.
"Jim," you breathed out with relief.
You rushed over to him and greeted him with a harsh hug. Completely disregarding how startled he looked, and instead relishing in how truly happy you felt he was finally here.. but you knew that the complications of him being in your room with you now also meant he would know of your situation in no time at all. You knew there was absolutely no way you could hide it now.. fuck.
You felt one of his hands rub up and down your back - loosely following the curvature of your spine in a soothing way. You let yourself exhale a few shaky breaths; letting the anxiety leave you with every exhale as you tried to fully relax - knowing damn well that Jim was probably going to ask you for a explanation soon. You hesitated before breaking free from his arms to speak.
"How did you know to come?" You asked; your words spoken quietly and delicately.
You and Jim locked eyes as he stared at you - his blue eyes were swarmed with confusion. He looked at you as if he didn't know the answer to the question you had just asked; almost like you had spoken in a different language entirely.
"W-what do you mean? Of course I came.. we had a date tonight and I got worried when you no showed. Is everything okay?" he stumbled on his words; alluding to the fact that he felt uncertain in himself.
You felt your stomach drop as you heard his words. Oh fuck, your date. You and Jim's date was something you had totally forgotten about after seeing your test results.. you instantly felt horrible. The feelings of guilt, anxiety and fear that started to creep into your system was too overwhelming and too much to handle all at once. You took a few steps back from him; partially retreating back into your room.. hoping he wasnt here to solely yell at you or make you feel even guiltier than you already felt.
"Holy shit. I totally forgot, Jim. I'm so sorry," you admitted; your voice cracking.
You were aware of how your words sounded like a pathetic excuse but.. you were hoping that Jim knew you better than to think that lowly of you. You wanted to say more to help your case but you knew you couldn't.. how could you even explain this situation to him without fully explaining?
Jim slowly approached you, only just to brush past your shoulder and go into your room. He stood close to the center, turning around and seemingly examining the objects and state of your room whilst you continued to stay underneath the doorframe. Watching him in horror as every sense of yours heightened with fear of what he was really doing or thinking.. praying he wouldn't see the pregnancy test you left stupidly on your nightstand.
Your chest was aching now with the unbearable amount of anxiety your heart was infected with. Sweat was starting to grow on your skin; everything nearly moving in slow motion as you watched Jim move to look at your nightstand and then-
"Your room is a mess," he says with a chuckle.
He turns to make eye contact with you for a split second before going over to your bed. Pushing your blankets off to the side before sitting on the edge, and patting a spot off to his left - urging you to join him.
A soft laugh finds it's way to your lips as you exhale with glee and relief.. but you still try your best to act casual and nonchalant for the time being. You walk over and sit next to him, a bit closer than you had originally intended too but Jim automatically wraps an arm around your shoulders. Coercing your body to melt right next into his.
"I miss our date, and act like the worst fucking girlfriend in the world and all you have to say is that my room is a mess?" you said with a laugh.
Jim is quiet at first, but the newfound silence isn't awkward. However, before you can avert your gaze somewhere else - he puts a finger under your chin so that you're forced to make eye contact with him.
"Dont ever say that about yourself when you know that's not true. I would never think something like that about you."
The pain that lived in your heart so vividly only moments before, struck once more. It was clear as day that he was hurt, but it wasnt by your actions. It was your words that did the damage instead.
"I'm sorry, I just.. I'm not feeling the most like myself right now," you tried your best to not clench your jaw as you spoke.
You figured that from this point forward you were going to have to chose your words very carefully.. but you also knew that Jim deserved the truth.
You started to get restless with anxiety, even with Jim's arm still around you (which had now dropped south to your waist). You gaze fell down to your hands.. the urge to just stand up and escape this inevitable conversation that you knew was going to happen was stronger than ever; but you knew that if you were going to be honest with Jim - you had to start now. It was now or never. Jim seemed to notice that you had more to say because he stayed silent, watching you as you sat with your mouth ajar - trying to find the right words.
"I'm not sorry for just missing the date earlier.. There's something else," you sorely admit.
You felt sick with anxiety as you felt Jim's arm pull away from you.
"Something else?" He spoke timidly.
He stood up; taking a few steps backwards away from you as his brows furrowed and his jaw clenched. You knew you would have to speak fast before anger completely took over him.
"Yes but.. it's not what you think," you stood up and walked over to him.
You took his hands into yours.. pretending to try to not notice how he slightly recoiled from your touch - his hands limp as you held them.
"I've been feeling really different lately.. I've been sick.. and i know it's not the flu or the cold, Jim."
As soon as your words left your mouth - it was almost as if Jim knew exactly what you meant. It was nearly impossible to try to not laugh at his reaction - seeing how his entire demeanor changed so fast. You felt his grip start to tighten on your hands. His blue eyes suddenly held so much emotion and pure joy in them.. His happiness was so infectious that you couldn't help but to smile too.
"Wait.. Your-"
"Yeah. I'm pregnant," you spoke with a giggle.
Jim fully smiled this time and let out a loud, full laugh.
"You're pregnant?? Why didn't you tell me?"
He let go of your hands and enveloped you into a tight hug. You wrapped your arms around him without any hesitation; so happy that he was taking this news greatly but.. you still couldn't help but to feel sort of unsettled still about how unprepared you two truly were.
You broke away from the hug; and took a step back. Nervously holding your hands together as you spoke.
"I mean.. we're so young, Jim. I wasnt sure this was something you even wanted, or that you would be ready for."
"Is this something that you want? And I mean in regards to us. This is a big deal and this would mean that-" Jim's voice started to shake as he spoke.
You almost could feel his insecurity seeping through his words. You knew exactly what he was getting at - this meant that you two would essentially be settling down. Previously in your life; the idea of settling down so early fucking terrified you but.. with Jim, you would be willing to do anything. As long as he was by your side, you weren't scared and you knew you had no reason to be. Everything happened for a reason and after all.. maybe this was the perfect time for this to happen. You and Jim had been through so much thus far - you knew you both deserved to have some stability and to have something that was genuinely good for once. Although the exact details of how you would make it work were still murky; living out the rest of your life in domestic bliss really didn't seem like the worst option at the moment.. If anything, it was starting to look like the best.
You put one finger up to his lips to shush him - looking at his light blue eyes before muttering, "shut up and kiss me, Jim Mason. Of course I want you."
Your finger fell off from his lips; and your hands gently moved to his face. Before your lips had even met- you felt his hands at your back. Pulling you in closer.. closer.. and closer until the distance between you two had completely dissipated. Your lips moved together at first in a tortuously, agonizingly slow manner. It was soft and tender; yet needy. As much as you wanted things to escalate and pick up - you thrived in the delicious slow burn that Jim was putting you through.
All fear and anxiety you had previously felt completely melted away and was replaced with utter euphoria. Every fiber of your being felt as if it was on fire; you felt like you were glowing. Your senses being completely occupied with Jim only made your feelings of contentment grow. The smell of Jim (a mixed combination of the ocean, bonfire and cigarette smoke), the taste of Jim (which tasted faintly of energy drinks along with a bit of saltiness that was reminiscent of the ocean) made you feel like you were in heaven. The one and only coherent thought that ran through your mind was: Jim, Jim, Jim.
Your hands moved from his soft, burning cheeks to his hair, while you let your other hand drop down to his back near his shoulders. Your fingers ran through his hair; pulling a bit on a few random strands when you felt his teeth sink into your bottom lip gently.. You heard a groan expel from his throat in response to this; which only made you smile into the kiss - and then giggle which of course; unfortunately ended you and Jim's kissing escapade. You two didn't fully pull apart from eachother though. Jim took a step or two back but he chose to hold onto your hands.. refusing to let you completely escape his embrace.
"I would be lying if I were to say I wasnt nervous, you know," he said.
You hesitated for a second before swiftly leaning in and kissing the side of his mouth - choosing to stay a little closer in proximity this time when you parted. If it wasnt for him bringing it up - you would've completely forgot the conversation you two were having prior to the kiss. Your hand resided on the side of his face as you looked into his eyes.
"Its okay. I'm nervous too but.. were in this together. Me and you," you stated with a reassuring smile which Jim only mirrored.
"That's all I need," Jim replied softly.
You knew in that exact moment that you had absolutely no reason to dwell or worry about the future when you had someone like Jim to rely on. Even with the future being as uncertain as it currently was; having Jim's love was really all you needed.
Jim insisted to stay over for the night; even though you tried your best to assure him you'd be fine - he didn't believe you.. and your kind of glad he didn't. You quickly realized that trying to make solid plans for the future would be for another day; for when every time you tried to speak - Jim shut you up with a kiss but you weren't complaining.. how could you, when this is what you wanted so badly? The comfort of knowing you would have Jim forever by your side was enough to let you fully relax and melt into the moment with him.. and let the future become something that you could have dreams about later.
Taglist: @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakescoven @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon @instincts-baby @melodylangdon @littledemondani @langdons-pinkyring
Let me know if u would like to be added to the taglist :)
#jim x reader#jim mason x reader#jim mason#jim mason fanfic#cody fern fanfiction#my fic#its been so long since ive written for jim so hopefully this is good 😭#i dont rlly like the beginning but its fine LOL#asks#anon
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Do you think that Kane was in love with Salima during the Psykicks' arc?
Hello!
Before I begin this, I will tell that this is highly opinion-based.
I feel that Kane was certainly not in love with her during that time, but its because of the circumstance. His bond with Salima might be a foreshadowing for the ship if they are going to become canon and more likely, he has a soft spot for her.
We are not completely sure whether even Salima was in love with him, but I do believe that Salima had strong feelings for Kane. Kane was heavily suffering from C-PTSD during his battle against Tyson and that disorder was a barrier to reflect feelings like kindness affection, compassion and love to his peers. When he was drawn into the powers of cyber dragoon, he developed a strong hatred towards his enemies. That's something common when shounen heroes are drawn by evil and they can be only rescued by the main hero or the protagonist of the show (here, its Tyson Granger or Takao Kinomiya). Its just like how Naruto saved Sasuke from his period of darkness in Naruto.
However, in this case when Kane was heavily manipulated, Salima was also brainwashed like him. So, I am not taking anything into consideration till Salima lost to Ray. Its only after when she was free from the hatred. But, Kane was still in the brainwashed state even after Salima was not. You are probably referring to that time.
Yes, Kane seemingly didn't care for Salima, but he didn't care for the others too, because he had only one objective at that time: To defeat Tyson and get Dragoon. When such evilly drawn shounen heroes have one goal fixed, they would harm people who try to act as barriers towards their goals. This has been a common observation in such characters in shounen. This a major reason why Kane was rude to Salima when she was stopping Kane from persuading Dragoon for Gideon and Dr. B. Sometimes, audience don't get this idea of shounen language and tend to mischaracterize such characters who are very complexed and tricky to understand. Ironically, they seem to be rudest to the people who are closer to them:
The stronger the bond you have with a person, the stronger the force you need to repel it in order to achieve your goal because they will still come to approach you no matter what.
Kane didn't intentionally hurt Salima, it was just during his heavily manipulated state and Kane just appears to be close and normal to her when he is his original self.
For an example, when Salima was about to steal the cyber bit-beast, Kane found her. He wasn't rude to her on that regard. He just wasn't satisfied with her decision for bringing out the right solution for the battles with their opponents (bladebreakers). He just suggested her a better way- battling without summoning the bit-beasts. So, whenever Kane is his own self, he still doesn't view her as a romantic partner but he actually does like her. He prefers being with her as she cooperates the most among all the three (w/Goki and Jim).
The only exception being during the world championships where he tags with Jim. A probable reason could be Salima being a female and that giving her the tendency to gel with young children better. That acts as a driving force for her to teach children beyblading around the world (lady teachers are generally known to be better than men teachers). Also, Salima might not have found herself completely prepared for the championships. Salima and Jim are the younger members of the team w/Kane and Goki being older. Its obviously better if each of them tag with one young blader. Kane is the leader so by default, he'd have to participate, as he is arguably the strongest in the team. So, the above reason for Salima and the mentioned reason for Kane would prove that they won't be able to tag with each other- Salima would be the best for teaching children and Kane would be the best for participating. This itself says that they can't be together. So, I tend to view them as a ship who sacrifice their personal time over other matters.
Kane definitely has a very big impact on Salima. If not, then why would she even come a very long way to save Kane when Goki and Jim didn't (in the battle tower)? She almost risked her life in that attempt. This means that Kane treats Salima in such a manner that would have made her like him.
However, we still aren't sure that he doesn't love her either. We just saw that Kane has a soft spot for her. Kane might be a very private person when it comes to bonding with closer people. We can mostly conclude that Kane doesn't view her romantically, but what's the farthest stretch of this interpretation? Kane might have feelings but probably he doesn't want to get too distracted in this matter so he might often refrain from confessing this to her. Kane is also a person who might put ambitions over affairs so he will somehow easily overcome love if he wants to.
Overall, I will tell that Kane has a softer spot to Salima and treats her like his friend/best friend or even something more than that, which is inferior to a lover. They share more like a loyal, trusting, affectionate and friendly bond. Kane is yet to mature to have true love. His bond with Salima can be bound to become into love and can develop romantic feelings for her when he grows older.
In the series, their bond is mostly platonic as of now.
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School rivals p.t 7
This is a long one ! I honestly have no idea how many parts this is going to have but I’ll make a master list for my works so far if you guys want ? Anyways enjoy !!
"Hope you don’t mind love." You could practically hear the smirk in Douxie’s voice as his arms circled around your waist, the intimate touch brining a blush to your cheeks. Thankfully, Douxie couldn’t see it. Sat behind you on your motorcycle, he was oblivious to the way your cheeks had reddened.
"Not at all Casperan," you tried to brush off the growing warmth inside your stomach and smirked as you took off down the street,"hold on tight !"
The wind rushed past you both, it’s cold touch sending chills down your spine as the feeling of flying had you hollering a little. Perhaps you could’ve been quieter given that the town of Arcadia was just starting to come alive in the early morning. Mr. Benoit's cafe was opening to feed the morning commuters and caffeine deprived college kids. A couple of high schoolers littered the streets, clearly not excited at the prospect of attending morning lessons.
Three said high schoolers shot you and Douxie withering glares as they trudged up the steps of Arcadia High school.
"No fair Jimbo, (Y/n) and Douxie get to go off on an adventure and we have senor uhl's Spanish tests first thing." Toby wailed, wallowing in his own self pity before stuffing a Nougat Nummy in his mouth. It wasn’t the best breakfast.
Jim had been focused on the retreating forms of his sister and Douxie but spun around, face paling at Toby words.
"What do you mean a test ?!" At his distressed yells, Claire giggled a little and pat her boyfriend sympathetically on the back.
"Come on boys. I’ll try and help you study in the like...20 minutes we have before class ?" The two said boys just grumbled gratefully at her offer, and the three kids trudged up and into the school, overwhelmingly envious of you and Douxie who’d escaped the clutches of the American education system.
It made you giggle a little that Douxie was clutching a little tighter to you as you sped down the streets, heading towards the canal where Blinky had told you to meet him. Again you became acutely aware of the warmth emitting from Douxie, the feeling of his breath on your neck not helping to keep your blush down
In those moments before you reached the canals, you contemplated the way your relationship with Douxie had changed. Only a week ago the two of you had been enemies, or at least disliked each other. Annoying each other, always trying to one up the other or get a good dig in. And yet here you were, his arms around you as w began the adventure that you’d felt like you’d been waiting for your entire life. Maybe without the murderous ancient spirits and weird glowing trolls.
Things were changing. You just hoped you could adapt fast enough.
At least Arcadia didn’t seem so boring as it once did, in fact you didn’t feel the same longing to escape the confinements of the tiny town you’d grown up in. Maybe....just maybe you might call this place home a little bit longer.
Hidden under the shade of the bridge, you spotted one hulking form and another much smaller one. With a roar from your bike, you came to a stop next to them giving Douxie a fright at the sharpness of the stop. Said wizard looked a little paler than usual as he dismounted your bike. In fact he almost looked like he was going to be sick.
"Oh don’t be such a baby my driving’s fine." You rolled your eyes at the wizard's behaviour who just gave you a flabbergasted look.
"You drive like a bloody mad man love." Douxie retorted, feeling a little shaky as he approached the two trolls. Luckily, the enjoyment he’d felt at wrapping his arms around you had dulled the fear of your reckless driving. Thank god your mum and never seen you on your bike because she’d smash it to pieces if she saw the way yiu drove.
"Ah yes miss (Y/n) and Hisirdoux." Feeling the growing tension and sensing an oncoming argument, Blinky decided to interject quickly, very aware of the time pressure enough were under. He needed to get you both to the sword as soon as possible.
"Hey big guy." You smiled up at Aargh who waved one of his yeti sized hands at you, a smile lighting up his face. You’d take a liking to the pacifist.
"Hello sister of Jim." He responded, waving at Douxie as well.
"Okay no time for formalities I’m afraid. We don’t have much time if what you, miss (Y/n), are saying is true." The happy atmosphere between friends was shattered at the troll's serious demeanour, his eyes hard. Yet again you were reminded of the severity of your situation, the pressure beginning to weigh you down.
With a sharp nod, you matched the troll's serous expression with your own, brows furrowing as the troll pulled out a decaying sheet of paper. The ancient scroll rolled out into a fading map, which you quickly realised was of Arcadia.
"Here you will find Excalibur," Blinky pointed to a spot not to far from your current location the group of you peering down at the map,"but I warn you (Y/n), if you pull that sword from the stone you will have a responsibility that you cannot shed."
For a second you met the eyes of the wise old troll. Blinky had his doubts at first about you, he’d been aware of your existence much like he’d been aware of Barbara's, except you’d never met them like she had. But you’d managed to survive against all odds, and clearly had a will of steel. He just hoped you had it in you to face what was coming next.
"Thank you, both of you." You smiled up at the two, before departing, Douxie again thanking them as he followed you from out under the bridge and into the sunlight.
There was obvious signs of tension that hadnt been there before, like the way your shoulders were tensed and your hands had balled into fists, nearly crushing the map you held in one of them.
He wanted to say something, anything to comfort you. When had he gone from insulting you to ranting to comfort you ? Honestly, he had no clue.
Clearly, the two of you weren’t aware of the fine line between love and hate.
————————————
"Are you sure about this love ?" The wizard glanced between you and the shining silver emerald of the sword not to far from you. His question was laced with worry as he watched you stare at the weapon with unreadable eyes.
It’s golden hilt shone in the sunlight, practically glowing like a firefly. Douxie repeated his question but it fell on deaf ears. It was like a glass dome had descend upon you, blocking out everything except you and the sword. Yiu couldn’t feel the wind on your face nor hear the chirping of the birds hidden in the trees. There was only you and the sword which drew you in like a lot to a flame.
Tiny, undeterminable whispers began to fill the air as you moved closer to the sword, growing in volume with every step you took. With wide eyes Douxie watched you appraoch the swor,d almost as if yiu were in a trance.
"Love ? (Y/n) w-wait !" The wizard lunged for you, to pull you back away form the sword, but it was too late.
A blast of light threw the man backwards, his back colliding hard with the grass. His body racked with coughs as he pushed himself up, swearing at the sharp pain that shot up his sides. But the swears died on his lips as his gaze fell on you.
The moment your hand wrapped around the sword it felt like everything was right. A power you’d never felt before rushed through your body, lighting your veins on fire as with ease you pulled the sword from the stone. A feat Jim hadn’t been able to compe,the but you had.
Excalibur was yours to wield.
"Excalibur is yours now child. Do better than I. Bring honour to the Pendragon bloodline., something I could not." The whispers finally took form onto a distinguishable voice, that of a man's.
"A-Arthur ?" Your question was never answered, and you were left to stare at the sword in your right hand in both horror and wonder.
It was surprisingly light for such a strong looking weapon, and the blade gleamed dangerously as it caught the sun. With an experimental swing, you sliced through the air the move to feeling as natural as holding the sword did. This made sense. The weapon, the magic it all felt right to you. Maybe this sienhat you’d been searching for so long.
A smirk lifted the corners of your lips as yiu souna round to face the flabbergasted wizard, who stared at you in of wonder, awed at the sight before him.
"So what do you think ? Am I a knight in the making ?" You joked, laughing a little as you teasingly pointed the tip of the sword at Douxie's chest who merely smirked back at you and gently pushed the sword to the side.
"I wouldn’t quite say so yet. Would you like a little training ?" He asked cockily, enjoying the look of surprise on your face as his wizard's staff materialised in his hand. Sometimes you forgot that the man was a powerful wizard.
Your smirk grew and you placed both hands on the sword, taking a defensive stance to which the wizard mirrored you. Like a stand off scene in an old western movie, you glared at each other waiting in anticipation to see who’d make the first move.
Of course you did, taking the boy by surprise as you rushed him, swinging the sword in one hand whilst kicking out a leg to knock him over.
Thankfully, Douxie hadn’t exactly been lazing about the last nine hundred years, and with practiced ease he deflected. A loud clash of weapons sent the birds hidden in the surprising trees up into the air, whilst Douxie used his other hand to grab your extended keg that had been aimed at his side, to push you off balance. With a cry of surprise you fell to the floor, letting out a squeak as you rolled to the side to avoid Douxie’s wizard staff.
"Are you trying to kill me casperan ?." You shot him a nasty glare, sprinting up to your feet. If you hadn’t dodged his attack he’d have torn into your shoulder.
However the wizard didn’t even look a tiny bit guilty and instead shot you an easy grin, twirling his staff in an effort to show off.
"Seems more like you can’t keep up with me. It’s okay love maybe you should stick to soccer." He quipped, sniggering a little at the way yiur face turned red from rage.
With a small war cry you rushed the boy again, not faltering in your onslaught of attacks, dodging and parrying him with the skills of someone who’d been wielding a weapons for decades. There was no doubt about it. You were descended from knights and magical beings.
Douxie's eyes widened in slight worry as he started to struggle to keep up with you, the tide of the battle was beginning to shift. Neither of you paused for a meonnt and slowly you began to back Douxie up, who started retreating backwards as you became to difficult to oppose. A victorious smirk crossed yiur face as the boys back hit the bark of the tree behind him, which you’d backed him up to effectively rendering him defenceless. He had no where to run and you could tell he knew he’d lost. Your grin only grew as he swore.
"Give up Casperan ?" Your sword was pressed against his staff, the two weapons shaking with the pressure you both were applying. You tried to push it down, out of the away, whilst Douxie was trying to shove you back, give himself some space to defend himself. There was mere inches between the both of yin and he could see the gleam of victory in your eyes.
Douxie knew what he was going to do next would piss you off beyond belief. Which is exactly why he did it.
"Not quite yet love." You didn’t have time to react as the wizards free hand came up, the cuff on his wrist glowing with a bright blue as a ball of energy there you off of him.
With a thud you hit the ground, not to hard but your pride was still bruised as the wizard smirked down at you. Yiu recsne door yiur sword, ready to basically butcher the i furnishing wizard, except your hand was met with empty air as yiu looekd sirens anxiisjlt for yiu wepoan.
"Oh, looking for this love ?" His condescending tone had you scrambling to your feet and rushing the taller wizard as he held the sword up and out of your reach.
"Oh come on Casperan don’t be such a duck." You grumbled, infurtsted as you jumped up to try and reclaim your weapon which he held up and out of your reach. "Seriously how old are you ?"
"Well I’m about 919, give or take a few years." The wizard jokingly said, biting back laughter as he watched dying fail again and again at reaching the spa on. Thank god for the slight height difference between the two of you.
However you suddenly stopped, an incredulous look on your face.
"Wait hold up. You’re 919 ? How is that possible ?"
The man only shrugged in response to your question, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
“Magic love.” He teased you, laughing as you rolled your eyes.
A part of you felt this sense of sympathy for Douxie. You’d no idea he was so old, and instead of being shocked at his age because of its abnormality you felt sad for him. How lonely to have lived so long.
Noticing the way your brows were furrowing in thought Douxie felt the atmosphere shift, no longer playful and lighthearted. It seems like your little training session was over. He lowered your sword to his side, offering the hilt of the sword to you.
Gaze flickering between him and the outstretched hilt, you gently wrapped your hand around the weapon. Though you’d had it mere minutes the blade felt so right in your hand.
There’s always been something you were searching for and maybe now you were starting to find it. Not in leaving and going far away but here. This was your destiny.
“Tell me about Merlín.” Your demand caught Douxie completely off guard, startling him further when you smiled at him and sat down.
Patting the grass next to him, you watched the dumbfounded wizard plop down beside you. He was come play taken a sack by your sudden friendly behaviour. This was new territory for the both of you.
“If you what tell me about your life...I know we weren’t on the best of terms but...maybe we can be friends ?” Eyes focused on the blade in your hands, you missed the way Douxies eyes widened comically to saucers.
This was followed by a lopsided grin as he felt the last bits of ice between you two thaw.
“I’d like that a lot.”
—————————-
Another part done ! I realise I’ve gone off track in terms of following the TV series plot but I hope that’s okay. Their new enemy and the storyline will be linked to what happens in the show. Stay tune for next chapter when we learn more about the new foe !!
#douxie x reader#trollhunters#douxie#tales of arcadia#toa#hisridoux casperan#hisirdoux casperan x reader#x reader#toa wizards
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★ in the rain | j.ww
▰ genre: angst + fluff in the end (happy ending)
▰ word count: 1902
▰ synopsis: you find wonwoo in the rain after not seeing him for a while, hoping to finally tell him that you got engaged, but he painstakingly tells you that he's in love with you + female! reader i think + pam and jim! dynamic
▰ notes: im not super happy with the ending at all but uhhhh here u go. if anyone wants me to drop the angst / no happy ending lmk hehe + ALSO!! you are very much more than welcome to drop requests and asks in my ask thing :3
There he stood in the rain. After you had ran up to him, he remained in his position, in his posture, in his steps. When he looked at you, there was something behind his eyes. The night consumed the usual soft color of his expression. Now, he was just painted in lead and you almost wanted to cough on it, as if there was smoke billowing up your respiratory system.
"Wonwoo?" You called out, your smile dropping and that of your grip on the umbrella but you remembered what was important.
His face still hadn't changed. You wished that he would've at least worn his dark gray rain coat so that at least would've made his image more comical and that it could provide comedic relief. His eyebrows weren't even as dropped as they typically were; there was something about the fine lines of muscle on his face that were taut and tense, like they were holding something back.
"What's-what's wrong?" The rain continued falling, not even in a characteristic way that it had upon the moods of the showers. "What did I do? What did I do? You-you just stopped answering my texts, m-m-my-my calls. I just wanted to say hello and see if you were —"
"Why didn't you tell me you had set your wedding day, Y/N?"
Then, the muscles stretched a little bit, revealing the most raw source of heartbreak you had never thought could exist. Those strokes of black that comprised his eyebrows furrowed together in a worry, painstakingly quivering just a few degrees, and worst of all, his eyes began to mirror the dynamic of the night.
He bit back a hiccupy sob while trying to smile. A wave of heat blanketed you from head to toe in a frenzy, the warmth barely missing your eyes to gather tears.
"I-I..." why did his heart break? Why was he so upset? Was it because you simply hadn't told him? You had just announced it, barely coming to the decision just a day before. Your best friend, Wonwoo, was breaking at the seams, but for what?
"What happened?" You reached out, now gripping his wrist that remained at his rib. He just felt like ice, heavy and growing colder in terms of proximity.
Wonwoo laughed halfheartedly, sniffling, as you desperately looked up at him, searching, searching, searching his eyes for something. He hesitantly drew his other hand to cup your face, so lightly you would've mistaken the touch for your hair.
"You seriously don't know?" He pressed his thumb into the apple of your cheek, rubbing one of your free streaking tears into your supple flesh.
You shook your head vigorously. Could you have possibly set your wedding date on a day that was completely inconvenient for him? Could you have overlooked one of your friendship anniversaries? Surely, he couldn't have been this upset simply because he wasn't the first to be told. You've known him for years and that was unlikely.
He just kept smiling as the rain seemed to seep through in between the mesh of both of your umbrellas, and if you moved your chin just a a few inches, it looked as if Wonwoo's face was raining, too: breaking away with the storm. You just wanted it to stop. This had to end. But why had it started? He just started ignoring you out of the blue, the most uncharacteristic moves he's ever pulled. This wasn't him. What was it? (But you knew...)
"God, Y/N," he tipped his head back, trying to steady what seemed like shallow breaths, but in reality, he just didn't want to look at the gleaming metal that was now wrapped around your lovely, nimble finger.
"Wonwoo!" You cried out, a crash of thunder resonating just a few miles off. He looked back down. The rain filled in the silence between you two but it proved to be as brief as much as you hadn't wanted it to be.
He smiled through the pain.
"You're such an idiot, God," he muttered and for a second, you thought that things would be back to normal. "I..."
"Yes-yes? What?" Your face ached from worry, the evaporation flitting all around you like something out of anime. "Tell me please, so I can just make things better. I'll let you read to me that sappy book I hate! I-I-I'll do any —"
"I'm in love with you, Y/N," his eyes sparkled in the darkest way possible and whatever you had possibly opened your mouth to say no longer had meaning. You blinked. All you could do was blink dumbly. "I-I don't-I'm just-I...I'm sorry. I know that I should've told you sooner. I just needed you to hear it. It's bad timing, I know. I know."
Your mouth simply went agape as a rush of a thousand emotions infiltrated you.
"What? Why?" You muttered out of instinct because of the confusion. He laughed again, a bitter one this time, and blinked a few tears from his sparkling eyes.
Of course, realizing everything, realizing the grand scheme of all that had occurred since you had even graduated with Wonwoo, ever since you had even first met him, it all hit you with a pang of something.
Sure, you had been engaged to Yeongsu, your sweetheart from undergraduate school, who didn't always treat you sweet, but you and him just had a foundation. He and you had been together for many years, despite his inability to understand you sometimes and so what that he didn't pursue you; you thought love was like that. Wasn't it supposed to be?
Before you knew, your vision grew blurry and warmth streamed down your cheeks in thin ribbons. Wonwoo's face pained at the sight as soon as you blinked through.
"I don't know what to do or say, W-Wonwoo. What do you expect me to say?" You choked. The street had quieted down so now you had no choice but to hear yourself and him, breaking down.
His lips pursed, tightening slowly into a frown.
"I know, I know. It's selfish of me, but I just wanted you to know, okay? Okay?" His voice broke with the final word and as did the gate that had been keeping his own years at bay. You nodded grimly in return because a part of you seemed to crumble with his composure.
"What, is this your goodbye or something?" You coughed between your intakes of breath. He looked up into the ceiling of his umbrella before meeting your eyes once again.
"I'm...going back to Changwon...on the fourteenth of June. I don't know how long I'm staying either." He breathed. Your wedding would be set on the exact same day, only you would be on the opposite side of the country.
The rain came back and as did your misery.
He loved you. He loves you. He loved you. He loves you.
Your one and only confidant, your best friend, your comforter, your protecter, your shoulder to cry on, your reason to laugh and smile, your dork, Wonwoo. He was going to leave. Worse, you were going to leave him just the same. Was this goodbye to your friendship?
"Well, I..." you managed out of a broken cry. "I can't ask you to stay because that's selfish of me but we're-we're past that now," Wonwoo sniffled and leaned closer to you, which he typically did to listen to whatever you had to say, considering his great height. "And I know our friendship is more important than anything."
"Please don't do that. I don't want that. I want to be more than that." He pleaded in that constantly calm voice of his.
"Wonwoo," you mirrored his own desperation, reaching to tug his sleeve tightly into your fists. He used his other hand to rub the loose tears into your cheeks, moving over your nose as his bottom lip trembled. "Wonwoo..."
And he paused his motions, meeting your eyes again. Everything suddenly terrified you because you had no clue what would be the last thing you two would do in this moment. God knew even if you would see each other again. Your futures were locked, weren't they? You felt powerless but you had the key. Nonetheless, the guilt had you beginning to tremble.
Your guesses about what would fill in this now empty gap between the two of you was fulfilled when Wonwoo just dove in. His lips collided with yours and you just buckled into yourself, his arms embracing you in the right moment to catch you. It was like getting a power up from a game. The warmth that you felt was unrelenting. It was everything... you had dreamt of. The kiss continued, shifted, proceeded, evolved, but eventually, it came to a halt as you felt a few stray tear drops hit your skin that weren't yours.
When you pulled away, Wonwoo smiled painfully, hesitantly meeting your eyes. You still were in shock.
He held your hand now loosely. Wonwoo was ready to let go, his fingers inching away by degrees, and you could feel your heart dropping by the second. He was ready to let go of you and of it all, but you weren't...
"I-I love you, too," you cried, wanting to unravel into sobs as his eyes widened in that adorable way that they always did when in shock. He tightened his grasp around you. "Wonwon, I'm the one who's been selfish. I'm the one who's done you wrong. I'm the one who is in the wrong, I'm the one..."
He moved in again, his lips just above yours for another kiss, which scared you, but instead, he took gentle swipes across your face. You had missed out on all this just because of your own stupidity.
"It's okay, it's okay. Don't say that," he muttered, his voice above the pitter patter of the rain shower. "Don't..."
He left his sentence unfinished, now resting his forehead against yours with his hands brushing your stray tears away.
"I love you, Wonwoo," you pleaded. "But, what can I do?"
The answer was obvious to you, but you offered an alternative.
"Can...can we run away together?" You muttered. Wonwoo cupped your cheek, snorting but still mustering a sweet, sad smile.
"I wouldn't want to do that to you, Y/N. I-I should've just kept this to myself. You're supposed to get married and finally have that dream wedding and that level of domestic bliss that you've wanted. I can't take it away."
You lifted yourself on the balls of your feet to rub your forehead against his, pulling him down with you to make it work.
"But, Wonwoo, you can give that all to me," he pulled away gently to look down at you. "I want to be with you forever."
"Forever?" His voice tripped in pitch.
"Forever." With that, you grinned again before he wanted to pull in for another kiss.
If yours and his future only took a few steps, why not take them? Why stay quiet and unhappy? You shouldn't settle. You should've never settled.
"Wait," he pulled back from your reddening lips. "Can I take you out on a date first?"
"Of course," you smiled against his. "Tomorrow." You chuckled, lightly punching him, but nodding nonetheless.
"Tomorrow, for sure."
#wonwoo angst#wonwoo x reader#wonwoo fluff#seventeen x reader#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#jeon wonwoo
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huling sandali
translation. last moment
⇀ an entry for paraluman playlist
pairing: namjoon x reader
genre: angst, est. relationship au
word count: 2.2k
warnings: themes of insecurities being triggered, emotional struggles, a break-up drabble a.k.a not a happy ending // pg-13
drabble request by @jim-parkin with “pighati + namjoon” hi hjdgdhsgsg im sorry it took me 3254 years to write this :((( i hope you like it. Also, happy belated birthday, alyssa!!! huh i just found out like 10 hrs ago prior to posting this on my first attempt hfdkdjdh im a horrible friend but ily ;-( *unedited
Namjoon arrived home by the time you started packing your stuff. He found you sitting on the living room floor, casually sorting things and putting them in labeled boxes laid in front of you.
You were supposed to ignore him, just like what he’s been doing in the past week. You realized, days of argument after argument before seems better than a whole week of silence in the apartment. The loneliness becomes greater, the glassy tension— unbearable, and his passive treatment more than anything else, hurts you the most.
You couldn’t look at him, having no will to possibly see the indifference on his face while he watches you gradually removing your traces in his place.
As seconds turn minutes since the distinct click of the door closing snaps shut, you took notice of the prolonged silence without the tap of the heels of his black shoes on the granite floor resonating through the living room. With your curiosity suddenly distracting you out of your focus, your head tilted on your side to peek behind you.
There he was, standing so tall and so formal with a frown on his face. His eyes shone not because of the lenses of his glasses but from the unshed tears on his eyes. When your gazes met, he was quick to crane his neck to the opposite side.
You open your mouth to call him to gather his attention. But he was already walking away out of the living room.
It’s been a whole week since you told him you’ll move out. He perfectly understood the implication of it. He objected, tried to convince you not to leave. When his attempts went futile, he did stop trying. Then fostered the silence between the two of you.
He avoided you while you try to make things right by keeping the break up somewhat acceptable on both terms. His refusal to speak with you seemed to convince you that, somehow, he had given up, silently giving you the signal to proceed on your plans.
Half an hour later, you began emptying half of the wardrobe in the walk-in closet. Coincidentally, he was in the shower at the time. After work, he’d routinely clean himself up before he rests or eats dinner with you. However, he stopped taking meals with you nor stayed in the bedroom to read the day you broke the word to him. With his persistence to avoid your presence, you’re almost sure he would let you be in peace while you packed the last bit of your clothes from the closet.
You’re supposed to leave days ago. The tenant of the apartment complex you found weeks prior has been non stop bugging you to move in.
However, you cannot just leave without a proper goodbye to him. In fact, he should be the one leaving you, not the other way around. But he couldn’t do that. Because he owns this place just as much as he owns nearly everything here including your heart.
Namjoon would never ask you to leave, even if he wants you to. That’s how much goodness there is in him. You just happened to take advantage of it and live comfortably by his side.
With your emotions at bay, a silent tear spid down your cheeks, leaving a dot of patch on the fabric of your folded clothes as you fill up your luggage on the bed.
Mere seconds later just as you hear the bathroom door opening, you feel the familiar, strong arms snaked over your waist from behind making you still instantaneously on the spot.
“Namjoon—“
“Don’t… don’t leave.” He says to you for the first time in a week.
His wet hair quickly drenches the spot on your shoulder where he laid his forehead.
Squeezing his hand pressed on your stomach, you smile weakly without facing him. “We talked about this.”
You felt his forehead grazing your shoulder blade as he shakes his head, “I don’t agree with this.”
“We both need this. We need to give each other time to breathe.” You murmur under your breath, nearly admitting the real reason behind your decision. That you knew. You knew he was suffering, and he was trying not to show it to you.
“I don’t need it if you’re not with me.” Namjoon says back, the grip of his arms around tightening.
Sighing, “You’re smarter than me, Joon. You know it’s been tough for the both of us. You’ve been so patient with me and I know you’re getting tired.”
“We can s-still make this work. Fighting is normal. Arguments allow us to speak of our minds. We learn but we move on from it because we love each other.”
“We tried, Joon. So many times. So many times that there’s nothing left of me but doubts and insecurities.”
Namjoon plants a subtle kiss on the side of your head. You remained pliant to his embrace, almost not wanting for him to let you go. For him to insist his place in your life despite your determination to fulfill what you need to do.
“I can wait until you’re ready to love yourself, again.” He attempts once more. He’s always honest with his thoughts so you know he’s sincere when he speaks his heart out.
“That’s not how it works.”
“Then tell me what I should do, please don’t give up just yet.”
His words are like a twisting fire of a knife in your chest, slithering your heart apart and burning the shreds into ashes. The room suddenly feels suffocating and stiff.
Disentangling his arms around your waist, you turn to finally face him. If you’re not only so emotionally invested with the confrontation, you could have stared at him and let your eyes admire every detail on his face until he shies away from your peer that cheeks bloom with crimson tint. Just like the old times.
But your chances have run out, moments have fleeted, your time with him is almost over. Your palms harshly wiping wet traces on your cheeks, refusing to cry in front of him. With a tilt of your chin up, he struck you with his sorrowful, pleading eyes.
“Do you really want someone like me? Someone who depends on you— financially, physically, emotionally? You meet a lot of successful women and I fear that I’m not gonna be enough for you. Joon, I’ll always worry and pick up fights with you.”
Tears brimmed on his eyes, shaking his head to stress his disagreement. “You are more than enough for me. I didn’t love you because of what you have. I fell in love with you because of what’s in here,” he points at your chest.
“Why, it’s you who has a pure soul. You have everything a man could have asked for. Any woman would fall at your feet to earn your attention,” your voice deteriorating as your head falling in morose, suddenly losing the ability to hold his stare with the facade of a strength you’re putting up. “You know, I’m so lucky to have you. I’ve always told you that. But now, things changed. You’re suffering because of me. It’s how I realized I have to let you go because I want you to be happy, again.”
He gathers your face with his palms, forcing you to look at him. “No, no, no. That’s not true. You make me happy.. Please, stop this, you’re everything to me…”
His warm breaths fanning your skin with his heavy, calculated breathing.
“It’s me,” you pause, “You’ve taught me how to love but I chose the wrong way, I loved you too much than what I’m capable of giving. Now I’m lost and I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
He inches his face closer until his nose is touching your cheek. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, “I didn’t mean to change you. I thought I was doing the right thing for you. I want you to dream, I want to see you soar high with your chosen profession. Please, baby don’t leave me. We could fix this.”
No, he was getting the wrong impressions. You didn’t regret going back to college when he pleaded you to. You didn’t regret setting aside your passion for art to continue the education you once took up before you left ran away from home. None of the ugly thoughts poisoning your mind were his doing. It was you and your insecurities.
“It’s not your fault. You saved me, remember? I met you at the time I was drowning in grief. Then I started dreaming. And the day you confessed your feelings to me, you made my dream come true. That was more than enough for me, Joon. Every inch of you became my happiness and it pains me to see I’m the one making you suffer.”
“Listen to me, _____. You make me happy. There’s no perfect relationship. But you’re perfect to me. You’ve always kept me grounded, made me think of my future, made me thrive for our future. No woman has had me at my worst, they only want the good things in life. You’ve been through tough times. But the kindness in your heart remains immeasurable, do you hear me? You deserve everything I have offered and so much more, baby.”
His thumbs patiently brushing the tears away.
“I can’t keep dragging you with my downfall.”
“I don’t want us fighting but sometimes, it gets out of hand. I stay at an arm’s length but it doesn’t mean I want you gone. Because at the end of the day, I’d want to go home to you even when we’re not okay.”
Your eyes fluttered close, not bearing to see the tears free-flowing on his cheeks. Namjoon rarely cries in front of you. Even before when you were purposely trying to aim his heart with your sharp words, nothing could seem to break him down. It’s always you who’s end up losing. Crying.
Silence filled the air for a moment until you heard him shifted. Then you felt a pressure on the side of your thighs and when you caught up what he did, your knees almost gave out.
“Namjoon— w-what are you doing? Stand up!”
His fingers dug deep on the skin of your thighs, head hung long, “Don't leave,” he begs.
“No, stand up!” You sob in disbelief. He couldn’t do this when you should be the one begging for forgiveness for failing him.
Hurriedly, you shuffled on your knees, fisting his shirt as you sobbed on his chest.
His arms gave you warmth as they enveloped over your back. As the room starts to drown with your muffled cries, he cups your face and in a matter of second, Namjoon’s lips are on yours, swallowing your sobs and murmuring sweet I love you’s while keeping your connected lips with his.
Seconds turned into minutes and minutes turned into hours, your insides are a mess, dreading for the end of this moment. With his concern to your plan, he refuses to loosen his hold on you. Even when you urged him to lie down on the bed with you, he didn’t move not until you tugged his body down beside you.
The rhythmic brushes of your fingers on his hair have calmed him down but with his arm secured over your back. It was only when he finally fell asleep when the grip of his arm loosens.
It’s been hours. You haven’t gotten a wink of sleep, and the sun will soon rise in a matter of an hour or two.
It doesn’t resolve the issue. It won’t because you know the next day, things will be the same. Same insecurities will eat you up alive until you burst your anger at him. And then the fight starts, arguments will inevitably tear you two apart. It’s an unending cycle of toxicity that not even yourself can control. Not until you allow yourself to heal.
Until then, you deem yourself unworthy of his love.
You need to leave before he wakes up. You know, it wouldn’t take long before you regret your decision.
“Meeting you was the best thing that happened in my life. I’m sorry for failing you, for failing myself. I hope,” you choke as a lump forms in your throat, “... you’ll be proud of me when I get better even when you have found someone else.” You ended your parting words with your lips pressing gently on the back of his hand.
Your shoulders slightly shake, your hands tremble as sobs threaten to break from your throat.
Your thumb carefully caresses his knuckles, watching him sleep so peacefully with your blurry vision. Suddenly, you couldn’t find the strength in you to pull yourself up.
“Why is it so hard to leave?” You whisper, looking at his sleeping figure.
He is your strength. Your happiness. The owner of your heart. Your dream come true. Someday, you’ll return and take your heart back from him. But for now, you’ll have to start living without it.
With one last look, you stood up with all your might and let the tears fall mercilessly as you fought back the urge to run back to him.
~~~
That moment still remains vivid in your mind, as fresh as the wound in your heart a year later. If you could only turn back the time, you wish he was awake to stop you from leaving. Now, all you could do is watch him from afar at his favorite coffee shop with someone else. The same one he used to take you at. He looks genuinely happy. At least, the break up did him good.
Every time you stood up from your seat to leave, you keep reminding yourself it’s the last time you’ll hope for your paths to cross. Somehow when the pain gets too much to bear, you always find yourself coming back here. Hoping. For another chance. You have the answer to that now. Someone else has already taken your place in his heart.
Inside the coffee shop, the girl sitting across him huffs while watching you walk away out of the establishment. She shifts her gaze to the man in front of her whose attention has speechlessly zeroed in on your figure through the glass walls.
“When will you actually start talking to the girl? You’ve been dragging me here for over a month now. My time is precious, Kim. It’s so obvious you’re smitten for her!” She glares.
Namjoon didn’t answer, only because he doesn’t know how. How do I win her back?
mintseesaw © 2020
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Survey #463
“the siren sings a lonely song of all the wants & hungers / the lust of love, a brute desire”
Describe the person that you would like to be in three years. I want my mental health to be in great condition, I really want to be in much better physical shape, ideally be living with somebody in our own place, have a job I'm happy with, have an improved social life, my own license and car...
Think back to when you first met your significant other (or ex). Was your first impression of them accurate? It's funny, I honestly don't remember what my first impression of Girt was. I don't even recall our first interaction. I'm sure it was most likely that he was friendly, because he is and always has been.
What is your most noticeable personality trait? Probably that I'm really, really shy.
What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes.
Which of your family members do you resemble the most? I guess one of my immediate sisters? People tend to say stuff like they can definitely tell we're related.
Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No.
Who knows you better than anyone else? Hell, probably whoever reads these.
When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? I guess you could call dating Girt a "new chapter." I have a much, much stronger feeling of this attempt being more successful than the last now that I've been able to change my angle on how I see him.
What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? I don't have my own vehicle and never have.
If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you choose? *shrug* Most products of highly expensive brands I find hideous anyway.
Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? Yeah. One is a close family friend and actually our landlord.
Does your family still use the home phone or are you all on cell phones now? We haven't had a landline is yeeeeaaarrrrsssss.
Ever go to another school’s prom? No; my boyfriend went to the same school as me.
Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do there? No; we live in the city now. :/ When I DID live in the woods, I absolutely loved wandering around with my camera for stuff to take pics of.
Does your significant other ever make you mix CDs? None ever have but omg I wish that would be adorable.
How did you dress your freshman year of high school? I was one of them emo kids.
Would you ever date your best friend of the opposite sex? WELP that's what I'm doing lol.
Would you say you have a high sex drive or not so much? I'd call it normal? Higher sometimes, lower other times, but not to either extreme.
Come with an unpopular opinion. Silent Hill: Homecoming is a great game and while there's a lot of fan service from the movie, it belongs in the series. It's actually my second (or third)-favorite installment. Most of the SH community absolutely hate that game.
What’s the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? A lot of shit Colleen would say if we got into arguments. She'd ridicule effects of my depression, said I'd never know what it's like to pay my own bills, stuff like that. She's hateful as fuck and everything cut deep.
What’s fake about you? Like extensions, fake nails, botox etc. Nothing physical.
If you got the chance, would you audition for a reality show? No.
Have you ever gotten into a Facebook fight? More than once.
What’s the cheesiest thing you’ve ever experienced irl? Hm, I'm unsure.
Favorite flavor of jelly bean? Probably watermelon.
Do you use Tinder? If yes, have you ever met up with someone you matched? No. You do you, but if I understand Tinder correctly, it just seems... really shallow to me. Like don't you JUST see their picture to decide if you're interested or not? It just enforces the false belief that appearance really matters in love.
You just poured your heart out to your crush and all he/she does is respond “k”. What do you respond/do? Well, I don't have a crush anymore; my boyfriend and I literally exchanged "I love you"s last night. That's not a crush. But for the sake of the question, I'll imagine I was single and this happened, in which case I would be both hurt and annoyed. Like, either tell me you return the feelings or not. It's not hard.
What's your favorite thing to order from McDonald’s? I usually get a quarter pounder w/ cheese or a McDouble, occasionally with a small or medium fry, depending on how hungry I am.
When do you feel your sexiest? Never, hunny.
What's your favorite emoji? I don't really have one? It just depends on what the situation calls for.
What’s your skincare routine? I don't really have one... I just use a washcloth to clean my face.
Who all out of your immediate family smokes? My dad and stepmom.
Do you like incense or candles better? Incense, totally.
Do you respect your parents? Yeah.
What’s your bf/gf’s name? It's technically Donald Jr., but since high school, I've known him as Girt, a nickname I won't explain for his privacy.
Do you wear glasses? Yeah.
Do you like The Beatles? I honestly don't. Except "Hey, Jude."
What was the last reason you got excited? Last night. When we were saying goodbye, I was scared to, but I told Girt I loved him, and he immediately said it back confidently. My heart did like five flips. I'm still over the moon about it. Yes, we just got back together, but we've been in each other's lives as a constant since HS, and after changing my angle of how I looked at him, it's not at all platonic anymore.
Do you know anyone who drinks the pickle juice from the jar? Sara does alskdjfklwejrl;er
Name something crazy that’s happened recently? Uhhhh... I dunno. My life is very uneventful to have something really "crazy" happen.
Can you say for a fact that you’re happy right now? I'm happy about some things, but also nervous and self-doubtful.
Have you ever zip lined? No, but they look fun. I'd just be really scared of losing my grip.
If you broke your computer, would you be able to fix it on your own? Ha, no.
Have you ever been on a boat and got sick? No, but the one time I was at the beach and on a boat riding to an island, I was TERRIFIED I was going to get sick because of the waves. I didn't, thankfully.
Did you sleep well last night? For the most part. My new mask might just be working.
Do your parents try and plan your life for you? Not at all.
Do you have any pictures of you kissing someone? Yes.
List two things about yourself that you find embarrassing. My weight and how dark my leg hair is.
Do you like to cuddle with your pet when you are sad? Yes.
Do you find piercing attractive or unattractive? h o t
Do you have any secret hiding spots in your room? To put money, yes.
Do you like parmesan cheese on your spaghetti? Ew, no. I don't like parmesan.
Does your best girl friend have any talents that you don’t? Yeah. She can animate well, for one. And sing like a fucking champ.
Do you have any video game systems in your room? Which one(s)? My Nintendo DS Lite is in here. Well, and my laptop is a gaming one.
What color eyes does the last person you kissed have? ... Oh WOW I've known this man for a fuckin decade and somehow I'm not sure??? But I want to say light blue?
Have you ever taken a ride in a helicopter? No.
Have you ever visited hot springs? No.
How slowly or quickly would you say you eat? I'm aware I eat too fast, because my mom will point it out almost without fail if we eat in sight of each other. I'm not a messy eater at all, just... fast. Chewing your food and swallowing isn't a complex task. I've made active efforts to slow down, I just haven't been able to succeed. It doesn't feel normal. That and I've come to discover that when I chew food TOO much, I don't like the mushy texture of it in my mouth.
What did you do the last time you were with friends? Yesterday Girt and I planned to watch shitty Netflix anime for some laughs, but we wound up starting Attack on Titan, which I am officially pretty into.
What kind of cologne/perfume do you like the opposite sex to wear? I don't care if they wear any or not, so long as they know how to clean themselves and therefore not actually smell bad.
If you celebrate Christmas, do you get a real tree or an artificial tree? We always use a fake one.
Is there someone who means a lot to you but they don’t know that? My sisters probably don't, really...
Is money important to you? Live your whole life poor and I want to see you answer "no" to this.
Have you ever watched a meteor shower? No.
Do you like Slim Jims? LOOOOOOOVE them.
Would you rather write a mystery or love story? Love story.
Are you muscular? No. Working for it.
Do you have one of those removable hand-held shower heads? Yes. Originally, this house didn't, but I hated it so much that Mom bought one.
How many burners does your stove have? Four.
Has your car ever been broken into? Mom's hasn't.
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