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ominist · 9 months

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BITTER REWARD

--- Part 4: Saving ✧

Pairings- Dark!Sebastian Sallow x F!Auror!Reader x Auror!Ominis Gaunt Summary- Sebastian escapes from Azkaban after 8 years. The Ministry were on high alert and searching for the escaped fugitive. Newspapers and flyers spread with the danger that could come within encounter. Sebastian Sallow’s face was plastered all over public and communal areas of the Ministry. After working for the Ministry for years, MC and Ominis Gaunt were cut off from the search. The Ministry’s numbers as of late were short due to ongoing violent events and kidnappings. Both aurors were denied any involvement due to conflict of interest. They were secretly put under a watchful eye in case the fugitive decided to reach out to one of his old friends. After 2 weeks, the search proved fruitless. It was almost as if the man had disappeared into thin air. Due to lack of resources, the search and security lessened when it came to Sallow. This was, quote, only a temporary decision until something new came up.This was exactly what Sebastian Sallow was hoping for. After a watchful eye and a calculated risk, he bids his time before cornering you. As painful as it was, waiting a little longer would prove to be rewarding. Warnings- 18+, language, trauma, depression, angst, aged up characters, explicit content later on. Word Count- 5,893 Words Author’s Notes- The last official part of the series. But I will be posting one last part (aka a bonus chapter) for all who want a less painful ending xx

Writing Masterlist -- Part 3: Mourning -- Part 5: Deserving

In the silence, the night suddenly felt colder. The breeze picked up and the trees swayed more loudly. The sound of the wind was interrupted by a laugh. Sebastian’s laugh became louder as he gazed in MC’s direction. It sounded almost cynical. There were shadows in his face as he stepped back under the cover of the trees. He shook his head as he finished laughing.

“Is the Hero of Hogwarts here to send be back to Azkaban?”

MC felt her breath slow and her skin crawl. But she did not deny his accusations. MC could feel her blood start to boil as he watched him become more taunting towards her. She took a step forward. But she did not get far before she was stopped by Anne.

MC’s hand reached out and she tried to pull Anne out of the way. But Anne stood in front of her, forcing MC to face her. Anne’s eyes were wide as she pleaded.

“Please don’t, Y/N. You know what will happen if they capture him- Y/N, please. You know his fate is irreversible. I will not be able to live with myself if he is taken again.”

“Anne, I am not going to- I swear.”

Sebastian watched the interaction with mixed emotions. The taunting and cynical matter he addressed MC was immediately gone. He wanted to laugh again but the way Anne pleaded for him.. It made him feel like a boy again. And suddenly, his thoughts were filled with memories of Anne defending him when they were younger. Sebastian turned away, unable to look at Anne. He looked past the trees and focused on the mountains.

Anne did not pull away from MC and stared more intensely into her eyes. Anne could not decide whether she was being lied to. And it scared her. Anne’s hand rested against MC’s arm, not moving away. MC tried again, her voice strained as she spoke to Anne trying to reassure her.

“I promise you, I will not be the one to arrest him. You have my word.”

Sebastian turned back to look at them again. He heard as MC promised Anne over and over again that she would not turn Sebastian in to the Ministry. MC kept repeating how she would not arrest him, that she only wanted to talk to him, that Anne should not feel alarmed..

He could not take it any longer and he stepped forward. MC and Anne turned to look at him. Sebastian broke their conversation with his own words.

“You do not need to defend me Anne. I can take care of myself.. She does not have the strength to stop me.”

Anne’s face contorted into frustration. Her voice raised in pitch as she responded.

“Sebastian, stop. We can talk and not fight-”

“I am not fighting you, Anne. But I cannot same the same for her,” Sebastian responded.

Anne turned to look at MC. That was when she realized that there was nothing she could do to stop what was going to happen next. MC stepped forward. Her face was full of anger. The tension between the three began to climb.

“What? Leaving Ominis on the cold street with his memories wiped was not enough? Oh wait, what about using my own wand to torture him? What about what happened in my apartment?”

MC advanced closer, seeing him respond to her words. His face turned into a sneer, reluctant to admit to any of it in front of Anne. MC’s eyes pierced into Sebastian’s as she continued to speak.

“Sebastian Sallow, a former prisoner, wants revenge and to hurt the people that wronged him.. It sounds a little cliché, I never knew you had it in you.”

MC was spitting, her hand wrapped around her wand. The same wand Sebastian had used to torture and obliviate Ominis. Her heart pounded and all sound was suddenly gone. She felt the blood in her veins, the breeze brush against her burning skin, the electricity on her heels vibrated on to the hard dirt floor..

Anne stepped in front of MC again. Anne did not like the expression she wore as she confronted her brother. Anne whispered to her, hoping to calm her so nothing would happen in the current hours of the night and draw unwanted attention. But MC was not listening to any part of reason. And Sebastian’s patience was running low.

“Let her speak Anne, I want her tell me how bad the past couple of hours were. I want to hear everything that pained her during her last couple of hours of her life.. Her life, full of freedom, in the city of London, I want to hear just how selfish she really is-”

“Selfish? You’re just as selfish as I am Sebastian Sallow. And you rounding up a pity party upon your return is just how dramatic and pathetic you truly-”

“Did you say a pity party? I am sorry but not one of you showed an ounce of pity towards me-”

“Ominis did! And you almost killed him!”

Sebastian’s eyes darkened as he faced her. She was now a couple of feet away, and they were both standing in position to attack. Anne was holding on to MC’s sleeve, but she was no longer trying to stand in front of her. Sebastian’s eyes kept flickering between MC and Anne, unable to fully shout in anger. He knew, that if he said the wrong thing, he would lose Anne.. And he would lose her forever. And the way Anne hid behind one of the people he loathed the most.. It hurt him.

MC was breathing hard, waiting for his response. But he did not respond for quite some time.

He only seemed to look at her. And then away.

And when he responded, he didn’t sound angry. Or cynical.

“I would never kill Ominis.”

Sebastian’s eyes darted around the trees around them, as if he was looking for his friend. But Ominis did not appear to join them. MC felt Anne’s hand let go of her sleeve. Anne did not interrupt them as they continued to speak.

“You had a chance for parole. If only you could have waited another year or two-”

“Does it look like I could have waited another year? Tell me, do you think you could endure what-”

MC interrupted him, continuing what she was previously saying. “There was a man who murdered three of his muggle neighbors. He was released after twelve years, Sebastian. Your case was not as severe, you had a chance-”

“If you think I had an ounce of hope during the last couple of years in there.. Do you think I had some kind of source to tell me about the events that were occurring in the outside world? And for you to stand there- and tell me what I should have done after everything that happened..”

Sebastian’s hands turned into fists on either side of him. His tone turned low and hostile.

“Don’t try to escape the blame that you inflicted upon yourself. You are just as guilty as I am. All of those poachers, the goblins- the dark wizards! Don’t forget all of those you attacked and possibly killed.”

Sebastian’s eyes were filled with mirth as he stepped towards her. “How are you any different than me? Tell me!”

MC did not respond, and could only stare at him as he finally showed how he truly felt. His voice got louder as he gained his momentum. His pain and darkness were so evident in his tone. He kept going on his rampant fury.

“You are even worse than me. I at least can own up to what I have done. I have paid for it. For eight long years. But you? You.. You hold the title of a hero. Your actions to save the school do not erase the things you have done. I was there Y/N. I was there for all of it!”

Sebastian spat the last words and smiled. The smile did not reach his eyes as he swayed in his step. He looked crazed for a moment. He truly did believe MC to be a horrible person. And she did not deny a single word he said. She did not defend herself as he called her a hypocrite. MC did not utter a single word to stop him.

“My own two friends- My friends were the ones to report me to the Ministry. My two dear friends- Ominis and MC. You did not even say a word to me before doing so.. As if throwing me into that hell hole would help me learn from my mistakes. It drove me closer to insanity. Starring at the same fucking four walls and losing hope- I stopped looking forward to seeing the sun rise… That place.. It destroyed every inch of light that I ever thought existed.”

MC remained calm as he continued to speak. There was truth in what he was screaming at her. And it hurt to finally hear him say it after all those years. MC watched him shake as he finally

released everything he was holding inside of him. She felt tears as he came even closer to the deepest layer of his hatred.

“I never dreamt that you- you of all people.. I never would have dreamed of the day that you would betray me this way..”

The silence that followed after those words were uttered was long. Sebastian’s chest and shoulders moved as he breathed deeply. His fists continued to shake at his sides. He was shaking from the emotions that leaked out of his very being. He could not longer hold them at bay. He could no longer pick and choose anger and resentment over betrayal, hopelessness, and pain. Sebastian did not blink as he regarded MC with those painful eyes. MC did not refute any of the things he had just mentioned. In a way, Sebastian wanted her to argue with him. He wanted to hear her speak. He wanted to feel his anger grow towards her..

The wind whistled over his head, casting more darkness over his face. The leaves above dripped water on to Sebastian’s hair. His skin continued to glow pale under the peaking moonlight.

MC waited for Sebastian to take action. She could see his body vibrating with anticipation. She was prepared for his wrath and pain. The eye contact was too intense.

And it made Anne step in front of MC again. Anne’s voice was tearful as she spoke. But Sebastian continued to hold MC’s gaze over Anne’s shoulder.

“Sebastian, please don’t. You have done enough already. Does it not matter to you that she saved my life? That alone has to matter. She has not given up on me, even when I am not completely cured.. And I will not let you hurt her.”

In that moment, MC understood that there was unfinished business between her and Sebastian. It needed to finally be addressed and dealt with. And Anne would not let it happen without interfering.

Sebastian gazed at MC as Anne spoke, and his features changed slightly. He could not come up with a response. It was clear that Sebastian did not fully know or understand the context behind Anne’s current state. But it was at least clear, MC was still searching for a way to help Anne and completely cure her. Whatever MC had done, it was only temporary.

Sebastian froze at the realization. But before he could think deeply about the revelation, he saw MC’s eyes shift and change for a second. MC was the first to break the eye contact. And she now turned to look at Anne standing in front of her. Anne’s back faced her. Anne was looking at Sebastian with an expression that MC could not see.

Slowly, MC drew her wand. With a quick flick, Anne was fell asleep on her feet. Sebastian did not move. He only watched as MC caught Anne’s body from falling on to the floor. She held Anne in her arms and lowered her against the closest tree.

Sebastian could only stare at MC as she took off her cloak and placed it over Anne’s unconscious body.

MC took a moment to breathe as she looked at Anne. She had no other choice, and it stopped her from feeling too much guilt. Anne would not get hurt for this.

When she finally stepped away, Sebastian stood where he was, waiting for her. His eyes looked at her frame as she straightened up and moved her attention back to him. He saw her hair move in the breeze and how it blew against her clothes..

“I do not deny anything you said, Sebastian.”

Her eyes were full of tears. Her expression was hard, and she could not hide the desperation. She was not fighting him. But giving in.

“I do not deny any of it. I know you will not accept this when I say that.. I regret all of it. I never stopped thinking about you. Never. Whenever I saw Anne.. In the beginning, all I saw was you. You, Seb..”

MC took a long breath, her words coming to the tip of her tongue for the first time in all those years. She could never express or speak about her thoughts to Ominis or Anne.. And the only person who was meant to hear them was right in front of her. Even when there was an ocean that separated them from ever reconciling, forgiving, and learning to trust each other again.

“I no longer judge you for your actions, Sebastian. I do not judge you for the past. And.. I will not judge you for what you plan on doing now..”

She paused. Her hands came to rest against her elbows. Her eyes were bright and vulnerable as she looked into his dark gaze. Her lips parted again, her voice becoming lower. Sebastian could barely hear her voice over the wind.

“I could not move on with my life. I could not go on knowing that one my closest and loyalest friend was stuck.. In that place. A place where there was no beginning and no end. I know you will not forgive me, and I know no matter what I say.. I cannot apologize enough-”

“Stop,” Sebastian finally says.

MC stared at Sebastian as he stopped her from continuing. He was looking at the dirt floor at his feet. His shoulders were tense, and his hands were no longer shaking. MC could see barely see the expression on his face as the tree branches cast shadows over his face.

Sebastian was pained, his eyes rimmed red. He believed her. And he hated himself for it. He wanted to hate her. But he could no longer hold that poison towards the person standing in front of him.

Out of all scenarios he predicted, he had clearly not expected this. He had planned on hurting them, Ominis and MC, hurting them both the same way they had hurt him. He had wanted to betray and ruin the memory of their friendship, so that they could never hold a happy thought when they thought about him. In the darkest of nights, he had almost convinced himself to kill one. He wanted to kill one so that the other would have to live in pain.. The pain in his heart at the time felt as if there was no end when he gazed at the cold stoned walls.

He hated that he could no longer hurt the woman in front of him. The woman, someone he knew deeply and at the same time did not recognize. Now as he looked at her, he could see how much she was still the same. She was standing in front of him, so vulnerable. Coatless, her white button long sleeve shirt moved in the breeze, strands of her hair fell over her face, her eyes and nose were red. If she was cold, she showed no signs of it. He hated that he owed her so much, even now after so many years rotting in Azkaban.

He no longer knew what he wanted to do, his goals no longer existed. How difficult would it be to escape the country? Where would he go? Where could he settle and somehow try to start a new life.. Could he even start a new life so far from Feldcroft?

All of these questions flooded into his mind as he gave up his plans of revenge. And for a fleeting moment.. He almost considered, just a thought, turning himself in. Even if it meant ending his life.

MC watched him and waited for him to speak. She looked at him as if she would wait a whole eternity for him. Something told him that she would wait for his forgiveness. No matter how long it took.. Even if it never happened.

But instead of responding, Sebastian took a step towards her.

His footing was slow at first, testing the waters. The closer he got to her, the more determined and resolved his eyes became. Sebastian did not give MC a second to compose herself or to even think about her next move. Sebastian disarmed her.

Sebastian caught her wand between his nimble fingers. He had her wand in his hand and he did not stop walking towards her. MC did not move from where she stood as he came to stand in front of her.

The expression on his face was indescribable.

Once Sebastian reached her, he pulled her was against his chest. And he kissed her.

His lips were cold and dry against hers. But insistent. The force of his kiss made her step back in shock. His arms wrapped around her middle and pulled her even closer. His nose brushed against hers, his teeth grazed against her own.. It was an almost painful kiss.

Sebastian’s breath was hard against her mouth. And he did not pull away from her. He moved his lips with fervor as MC responded to him. MC’s hair blew against his neck, and it tickled his skin. One of his hands let go of her middle to caress her face. Sebastian’s fingers could feel the soft, but yet cold skin under his touch. Her scent was all too familiar even after so long. Sebastian was tasting her all over again. He felt his hand shake against her cheek.

Sebastian’s kisses became softer with familiarity. He did not let go of her.

The longer he held her in the cold night, her thoughts became clearer. All doubt and hesitation disappeared from her mind. When she saw Sebastian on the hill moments before, her thoughts and course of action had been uncertain.

At last, she knew what felt right.

Despite all the disdain and unresolved pain between them, she ignored all logic and doubt. Her mind pushed through the thickness that threatened to cloud her thoughts, to settle on one single thought. She did not want his life to end any time soon.

With his guard down, she took her wand from his grasp quickly. Her hands pushed against his chest until there was distance between them.

MC was the first to attack, and Sebastian seemed to have already predicted her response. Because he deflected her spell quickly. Their spells flashed over the far trees as they started to fight. They both walk further away from the hill, not stopping their onslaught of spells.

Sebastian and MC push their duel to the outskirts of the trees and away from Anne. And further away from the hamlet.

“This feels just like old times huh? But this time, you have the upper hand..”

MC did not respond as he continued to speak between spells. They danced around each other, not letting the other move too far away.

“Tell me, how long has Anne fancied Ominis?” Sebastian continued.

“Sometime the past year. She told me a couple of months ago-” MC started to say. But she was interrupted when she deflected a fast spell aimed at her shoulder.

Sebastian smiled mischievously as he felt triumphant for almost distracting her.

MC breathed out loudly and concentrated more. She would not let it happen again.

She started to take the duel more seriously. And her eyebrows furrowed as she stared at him with deep intensity. MC had a plan, and she would not let Sebastian win. She could not.

The longer they fought, the more obvious it became to MC that Sebastian was not fighting to kill her. Sebastian could not bring himself to hurt MC. No matter how long he had dreamt of getting revenge. He could not longer use the fire inside of his veins to retort to mal intent.

MC’s expression became unreadable. Sebastian was not trying to escape.

Sebastian interrupted her thoughts as he started to laugh lightly.

“This was my favorite part about you. And I still cannot stop thinking about how you made me land on my back that one time. You were relentless when I angered you. And I.. I loved that about you.”

Sebastian dodged her next attack, watching her face closely. His eyes were sad. But his words were full of sincerity, hoping that his words would change her reaction.

“And, in a way.. I still do.”

MC did not allow herself to react to Sebastian’s confession. She could only focus on the small window that he had given her. With one last gaze into his eyes, she waved her wand once more. Adeptly and resolved.

MC landed the perfect stunning curse against Sebastian’s chest, finally knocking him out cold.

She watched as Sebastian fell on his back with his eyes closed. Sebastian laid still against the hard ground with his wand a short distance away.

MC let out a relieved but pained breath. She blinked repeatedly, unable to come to terms with how she had handled his confession. She started to breathe heavily and quickly.

She felt tears as she cried. She slowly bent over and pressed her hands against her knees. She looked at her feet, trying to stop feeling so light headed. Her heart raced, and it felt as if her heart was eating at her chest.

But it had to be done.

It took her a moment, but when she straightened got up.. She knew what needed to be done.

MC wiped her face with her sleeves and turned to look at Sebastian on the floor.

Within minutes, MC had moved Sebastian’s body next to his sister’s. MC’s formulated plan suddenly felt flawed and imperfect. She knew that she would pay in the future for her fast made decisions. But now, she had to keep going. She was running short on time. And time was crucial.

As MC picked up Anne from the ground, and her mind recited the series of actions she had planned. It took her a good while to get Anne back to her uncle’s house. And once Anne was tucked in bed, she made sure to write a letter. It was short a brief.

Anne,

Don’t panic.

Please trust me.

I took him.

Burn this.

MC made sure to fold the piece of parchment. It was placed inside the palm of Anne’s hand. She closed her hand before stepping away from the bed. MC took a moment to move her belongings around the room, making sure her presence was noticed in case the Ministry came knocking.

With one last glance, she pulled her cloak over herself tightly. She made sure to tie and button it enough to hide her hair and her face. She took one last breath before stepping out of the warm home. MC made her way back to Sebastian. She found him against the tree she had left him. And he looked so peaceful. Her chest started to ache as she thought about the Dementors giving him the kiss..

MC leaned down to press her hand against his neck, checking his pulse. Her own adrenaline was coursing through her body. She was on edge, and it was making it hard for her to completely focus. She had to check and see if he was still breathing. When she was satisfied, she pulled him up against the tree. MC struggled, but as soon as she managed to get a good hold on him, she apparated.

… *… * …

The highlands were beyond freezing that early morning. The snow came up to MC’s ankles and she was shivering right away. She was not dressed for such weather. She hoped that the sun would rise within the next hour.

Her feet dragged over the snow as she levitated Sebastian next to her. She walked towards the clearing, hoping that the person she was seeking would be there.

MC walked past the trees until a small run down shack was in sight. By the time she reached the door, her feet were freezing. She knocked on it four times, making sure to time every knock precisely with the code she usually used. She shivered in front of the dark home. There was no light peeking through the window. And for a moment, she started to panic.

What if Sloan was not there? Where could she find him? Out of all the places he traveled to and hunkered down..

A voice answered after a while. It was deep and slightly irritated.

“A little late notice this time, don’t you think?”

MC breathed in relief as the door opened. A man with thick black eyebrows and piercing dark eyes greeted her. His beard had grown since the last time she had seen him. The most unfriendly looking man gave her a one over. Then he stepped aside to let her into the building.

MC was quick to walk in and pull Sebastian in beside her. Sloan lit up a candle and waited for her to put down the stranger. She walked past the counter and avoided most of the clutter and boxes that crowded around the walls. She ended up putting him down in the other room near the fire. It was not comfortable, but she did not want him to freeze in his sleep.

She walked back into the main room and cast a charm over her drenched ankles.

MC wasted no time to request for his aide. The smuggler listened to her for the next 15 minutes, and his expression was more than confused. MC explained the situation with the least amount of detail she could. She did not mention who the stranger in his building was, or what he meant to her, or why it was important..

MC wanted Sloan to smuggle Sebastian out of the country within the next hour.

Sloan tapped his fingers against the counter, thinking. He did not answer for a moment.

MC could see him thinking deeply and scoping out her request. Sloan had a network of portkeys and ways of traveling undetected. After years of running a never ending business, he had a wide range of resources.

MC’s request was very unplanned and urgent. This would normally cost close to a fortune. More so, because Sloan had recognized the man’s face. Sloan would be smuggling out an escaped prisoner. Sloan rarely smuggled wizards and witches.. But if the offer was just right, he would do it in an instant.

But MC’s situation was slightly different than his usual clientele. She was asking him to not only smuggle out the escaped convict, but to shelter him for a while.

Sloan gave a long exhale and he grunted in confirmation. MC immediately got up from her seat and made her way back to Sebastian’s slump body.

MC lowered herself on to the floor and looked down at his resting face. His cheeks had a warm hue from the fire now. Sebastian breathed in his sleep. She could see the dark circles under his eyes.. The shadow of the boy she knew in Hogwarts was shown. He looked at peace, a face she had not seen in the past 8 years.

As she looked at Sebastian’s sleeping form, she was overcame with exhaustion and anxiety.

Her fingers brushed the hair from his face, feeling how cold his skin was. Then, she leaned down and planted a kiss on his forehead.

“I wish you a safe life,” She whispered to him.

Sloan leaned against the door frame. He was impatient.

“Give him a blanket will you? And.. And make sure he wakes up safely,” She whispered.

“Yes, he will be fine. Believe me,” He muttered to her.

MC nodded and tried to come to terms with what she was doing. This was the only way.

Even if there was a large possibility that she would never see him again.. This was the best and only choice to giving him a second chance. She owed it to him.

She straightened up and finally tore her gaze away from Sebastian. She walked behind Sloan and back into the crowded kitchen.

MC reached for the pen and parchment he laid out for her on the counter. She slowly sat down on the crooked stool. She stared at the paper for a moment. And once she picked up the pen, she did not stop witting. She wrote fast and urgently, her panic so evident in her message she almost started to cry. Her pen ran out of ink by the time she was close to finishing her letter.

But it did not matter, it was all there..

When her letter was finished, Sloan returned with a couple of bags. He dropped them on the floor by the door and wiped the snow off his gloves.

Sloan continued to watch MC curiously. He had never seen the Auror so speechless and panicked. But he did not ask.

MC met his gaze slowly, accepting what was coming next. Now MC would have to be obliviated. It was the common practice that Sloan required from his clientele. This had kept the Ministry out of his hair for so long.

That was, until MC found him a couple of years ago. Sloan had been indebted to MC for the longest time.. And in a way, he was finally paying back what he owed her.

MC had not turned him in. As a matter of fact, MC covered for him and made sure Sloan was removed from the search and questioning warrants. Sloan was rumored to conduct a series of illegal actions inside and outside of the country. Such as illegally transporting others out and into the country, selling charmed objects to muggles, finding and exploiting dark objects, buying stolen goods and exchanging them for banned items to smuggle them back into the country.. The list went on.

MC had spared him, and since then he relayed information from his findings around the world. All knowledge that had contributed to her current discoveries and research involving Anne’s cure.

Sloan walked over and took the letter from the counter. He folded it and nodded at her.

“After this, we are even L/N,” He stated gravely.

MC nodded once in confirmation. She was unable to stop staring at the letter, wondering when she would ever see that letter again. The implications that would come after this would be severe. The thought of the Ministry finding a suspended Auror obliviated somewhere in the country made her shake with anxiety. And she hoped that for her own sake, that she did not remember the events that occurred earlier any time soon.

Within the next minute, MC got up from the stool and turned to the smuggler.

“Let’s get on with it.”

MC did not sound like herself. She tried to sound confident, but her voice cracked. There were so many thoughts in her mind, telling her what she was doing was wrong. It was flawed. She had not thought it out well enough. It would all fail and it would all come down tumbling down on her.

But MC couldn’t afford to undo everything that she had decided on the past hour. This was the new direction her life had taken. Despite everything she had done to ensure a long lasting career as an Auror, to try to better herself, to move on from the past, to let go of the blame and guilt she had drowned herself in... She could no longer look back.

MC followed Sloan out of the shack as he walked her through the next series of events. Sloan made sure to take her far from the shack as possible.

“I will ensure his safety, L/N. But you will need to worry more about what will happen when they find you,” Sloan told her.

They continued to tread through the snow. Sloan had voiced the inner conflict inside of her head. She was well aware of how badly things would get for her. All she had to do was ensure that she did not remember a single thing from the past couple of hours in order to keep Sebastian’s whereabouts safe.

As they continued to walk, MC no longer felt the cold from the snow. The sun was rising. And it was one of the most beautiful sights she had seen in a while. The horizon became brighter as the minutes passed, basking her with the sun’s warm rays.

“I don’t think I am cut out to be an Auror, Sloan. I came to learn that not so long ago,” She admitted as they walked.

Sloan chuckled at her words. For once, the rugged man agreed with her.

“I saw that the moment you let me go.”

… *… * …

It was six hours later when Sebastian finally woke. He blinked, looking at his surroundings. His mind was a blur as he struggled to remember the last thing he had done.

He was met with a fireplace, and a very dark room. The warmth of the fire spread over the small home. The silence of the room made him wake up quickly. He looked down at himself to see a blanket over him. He was resting on a beaten couch that smelled like beer. And he was wearing a winter coat over his clothes. He found his wand tucked inside of his coat.

Sebastian’s mind turned as he remembered being in Feldcroft. He remembered kissing and then fighting MC, and then..

He had been knocked out cold.

Sebastian walked to the edge of the room. His hands reached out and pulled the curtains away from the window. He could not see anything through the frost that covered the glass. His hand wiped the glass and he could only see snow down a slope..

He was somewhere on a mountain. How did he get here?

Sebastian pulled away from the window and walked back to the fireplace. He noticed the mantelpiece, it was carved so differently than the ones back home. The walls were covered bricks, stone, wood all built to withstand sever cold weather.

Why was he here? And who..

Everything suddenly felt unfamiliar. Sebastian sat down on the couch, realizing that he was no longer in Feldcroft.

Sebastian was no longer in the Scotland. He was no longer in the same country.

Sebastian woke to find himself alone inside an abandoned cabin, in the heart of the Balkan mountains.

✧

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becomingbts · 2 years

Text

Time Heals (sometimes) - 19

Summary: 6 years ago, (Y/N) thought that she was finally taking her life into her hands, leaving behind a toxic and abusive relationship with a man who taught her she’d never be worthy of love. However, it became hard to ignore his words when she met her seven soulmates, who rejected her without even giving her a chance to prove herself. It took (Y/N) 3 years to realize that it wouldn’t be her end. She would live on to prove them all wrong; she would become what they all thought she wasn’t: someone worthy of love. And as she stands proudly on the stage, under the burning spotlights, the applause and the cries of the delirious crowd, she feels alive. Alive, just like the bond she had believed to be broken.

Around 4.7k

Pairings: Y/N (fem) x OT7

Genre: Soulmate AU!, Idol Y/NAU!, semi social-media AU!, ANGST (mainly), fluff, romance, maybe smut in the series, NSFW.

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Warnings: Mention of death, manipulation, depression, and near-death experience, Namjoon P.O.V might be slightly triggering.

NOTE: HELLO!!! I promised to try a bi-monthly update so here we are again!!! Thank you for being patient with me and always tuning with Time Heals! I hope you all will understand a bit more Namjoon after this chapter, I think I’m starting a crisis for some people here, I hope it won’t be too bad, lol! Please take well care, I hope you’ll enjoy this new chapter! Lots of love, feedback is always warmly welcomed!! It’s honestly what motivates me the most!! Love yoy and enjoy!!

Part 18 - here - Part 19.5

To say that Namjoon had been anxious when he first read (Y/N)’s message would be a euphemism. He had been scared shitless, proofread his own message at least five times before sending them while closing his eyes each time he pressed the “send” button. He hoped his answer didn’t sound nearly as panicked as he felt but maybe he tried too much to sound normal. As he read once more his messages, he sounded almost aloof and he hated it. The simple fact that he received a message from her, his... No- he should refrain from calling her his soulmate when she clearly said that she didn't have any soulmate any longer. It was only fair to respect her "choice" if he could call it that way. They didn't really give her a choice, to begin with, so he shouldn’t disregard her words and should refrain from crossing any boundary.

Namjoon wished he could explain his desperation in his messages. Explain how at loss he had been and despite him realizing that he could have done everything differently, he hadn’t found a different solution to their problem and had truly wanted to avoid hurting her. It sounded stupid, even to himself. Being unnecessarily harsh had only broken her further than he had wanted. Namjoon had merely wanted for their bond to emotionally break so that they would have less chance to accidentally bond. If it had happened, she wouldn’t have been alive as of now. However, could he truly not have done it differently? He wished that he could say no, but Namjoon knew that he could have tried something else. Would it have worked? He couldn’t know for sure, and maybe that had been what had prompted him to choose the most violent option. That way, he had been sure that no accidental bonding would happen, but now he could only laugh at how naive he had been because despite what he thought, an accidental bond did happen. Not with him per se, but between Jungkook and (Y/N). Namjoon was confused and terrified about that sudden bond. What if they weren’t healthy enough and that this unintended bond hurt her? Namjoon could only pray that it would not happen because he wouldn’t have any answer as to how to save their soulmate.

Regardless, despite how obvious it was that Namjoon had probably done the worst mistake of his life when he concluded that they needed to reject their last soulmate, it hadn’t been before. He couldn’t have known: information was so little about groups of soulmates that Namjoon had taken it over himself to find information and find a solution. His logic had been perfect, calculating every odd and making sure everything would be perfect and work out, but after years of thinking and guilt eating him alive, Namjoon desperately wished he did differently. As he read her replies to his messages, it was obvious that she also thought the same way. And she was right; he could have explained, he should have told her instead of breaking her past the point of no return, but what if it had gone wrong? What if they had bonded accidentally despite the physical distance and that their bond had started attacking her? How could he have forgiven himself if he didn't try to push her away and keep her safe from them? Realistically, he knew that he had not kept her as safe as he had wished. He had only pushed her to another outcome, hoping and praying for her to stay alive. Maybe that had been the solution of a coward who had refused to see the impact of his words, yet according to his calculation, she truly had a better chance of survival that way. That had been his logic and while Taehyung had been crying, begging him not to do it, to find another solution because, in his eyes, they couldn’t lose another soulmate because of Yongsun, Namjoon hadn't found any other way to protect her and he hated himself for it.

He wished he had found something else, he truly did. Oh, he could rant for hours about how he dreamt of a universe, a very, very, oh so lovely one, in which he told his soulmate everything, from the beginning to the end, explaining how he truly wanted only the best for her and knew that they couldn't be that best momentarily and that they might never be. He used to be stuck on how cruel that felt when he realized what it meant to him and his other soulmates. They might never be suited to welcome their last soulmate without killing her, and the realization crushed Namjoon to the ground.

Yongsun didn't just take a part of their youth with her, she took their hopes and dreams away, brushing every single wish they used to entertain to finally be complete. She left them yearning and empty, darkness surrounding their lives while they wondered if they’d ever see the sun again. They had waited so long for their last soulmate to finally show up, to get to meet her and start getting to know her, only for that person to play them, ruin them and leave nothing but crumbled hearts and dried tears behind. If Taehyung believed that he was the one at fault in the story, Namjoon would beg to differ. If someone failed to protect his soulmates, it was him, not Taehyung.

Yongsun had been desperate; that was what Seokjin said, but Namjoon had never been able to care about her reasons. He could only laugh at that. Oh, if he wasn’t desperate himself to find back a piece of himself, of the young man that used to dream about his soulmates and not the guilt-ridden bitter man that he was used to meeting every morning in the mirror. Namjoon used to think of soulmates as a source of comfort and warmth. It was now only a source of stress and disappointment. A disappointment that Namjoon hated to be. If he had to pick one person to be the worst soulmate ever, he would choose himself in a heartbeat. Seokjin had tried to talk to him, to soften the edges of his turmoil, of the terrible anger that was consuming his whole being, alas to no avail. Namjoon's anger never burned out, only fueling him to search for more answers about their bond and to write more about his discoveries. His hands giving up on him had only been a dull reminder of the never-ending anger that was wide awake inside him. How could he ever explain why he was so angry at the world, at Yongsun, at everyone for allowing such a thing to happen to them, to him, to his soulmates? Why did no one rescue them? Why did no one help them? How could money get Yongsun safe after everything she did to them? He laughed again; the world had never been fair, yet Namjoon had never believed that their system would abandon them so cruelly. Even now that they were financially well off, their mind did not let them try to sue her, tired of being constantly in a fight with the person that destroyed their lives. None of them wanted to deal with her any longer. The simple thought of seeing her again sent chills to their spines, and starting the paperwork seemed insurmountable; it annoyed Namjoon. It only fueled his anger again, adding charcoal to his already hardly controllable fire.

Namjoon was angry and everyone thought that his anger would slowly vanish, yet it only grew. That was maybe because he slowly realized how far Yongsun had gone to make sure everything would unfold the way she had expected it to. He saw the marks on Taehyung's skin, he saw the fear in Seokjin's orbs, and he saw death in Yoongi's ones. Namjoon heard Hoseok's broken cries, Jimin's silent gulps as he left quietly, avoiding fights and leaving everyone behind as much as he could, and Namjoon heard Jungkook's soul breaking each time a fight arose in their apartment. It was often silent, none of them wanting to admit how bad it was even once Yongsun was gone but they all knew that things would never go back to how they used to be. Namjoon rarely saw his soulmates smile as carefree as they once did and maybe, just maybe, that was also one of the reasons for his never-ending anger.

Yet, maybe what truly broke him was to see the despair in his eighth soulmate's eyes when he told her the words that he would forever regret. "Your name means nothing to us." If only that had been the truth, he wouldn’t be waiting for her to reply by now, eyes boring into his screen. Namjoon wished that it had been the truth. Her name meant so much, from hope to despair. Her name meant the world, and it meant dread. It held so much over them that it frightened him. His logic behind their rejection had been flawless, however, his fear of letting someone else hold so much power over them again was totally irrational. He had been terrorized to see the same scenario unfold because after all if someone was capable of doing what Yongsun did to them, how could they be sure that it wouldn’t happen ever again? Namjoon had been terrified at the simple thought, perhaps that had flawed his convictions as much as he claimed that it wasn’t the case. Because once he set that fear aside, the only thing that was left was his anger and his guilt.

How could he ever face her after all the damage he did, even if his intentions had been noble and his heart had simply been in the wrong place? He never thought he’d ever be able to face her again after everything he said, settling for knowing she was alive and living a life of fame and love. If Namjoon couldn’t give her all the love he had for her, he hoped that her fans would make the difference, somehow. (It was foolish of him to think, but he couldn’t help it, he only wanted the best for her). He tried to interact with her as her fan, but it felt wrong as if he was using anonymity to be close to her again, so he stopped as soon as he started. He couldn’t be that person to her, he had doomed himself already. Namjoon believed that he would never see her again, that he would only hear of her from now on that she was a celebrity. Oh, how naive he was.

He did meet her again and he hadn't known if he should be excited or terrified. Namjoon faced her in that hospital bed; he watched as her already pale face lost any trace of color after her eyes rested on his frame. He had not known what she had been thinking once she had realized who he was, but Namjoon had been pretty sure that he must have looked closer to a monster than a soulmate in her eyes. And could he blame her? Not at all. He just wished it was different. Maybe in another life, he'd get to make amends, to cherish her as much as he could, hold her tight against his chest and protect her from the rest of the world. Maybe in another timeline, he'd get to call her at 4 am just because he couldn't sleep and needed to hear her voice, even if she was in the room next to his. Maybe he'd buy a cute shirt for her, just because he thought of her as he saw it. Perhaps he'd pick her up from work, ask her how her day went, and give her a cup of coffee that he ordered from her favorite coffee shop just because he had shown up 10 minutes early.

Namjoon's anger might never die out because he knew that this would never be his reality and, to be honest, he knew that he did that to himself. Or did he really? Wasn't it mainly Yongsun's fault? If only Namjoon could put the blame on someone else than him, maybe he’d feel a little bit more alive. But how could he blame it on her when he hurt their last soulmate just as much? Namjoon hoped that he would never be seen like Yongsun, like someone who destroyed someone else’s life, but maybe in (Y/N)’s eyes, that was all he was. After all, he had been the one to deeply hurt his soulmate with his words, hoping that they would lose the connection and that she would survive the break of the bond.

Namjoon's mind was at war. He couldn't decipher who he hated the most between himself and Yongsun. Maybe Yongsun had been a warning before he even did the biggest mistake that he deserves to be punished for. It should have opened his eyes. That despite everything, soulmates changed people for the worst, which could lead them to do mistakes and ruin other people’s lives. Sometimes Namjoon felt like everything was his fault, that he should have protected his soulmates—all his soulmates—better. He thought of finding her and apologizing, even if it wouldn't change anything. He thought of sending flowers to her place, sending her homemade meals to make sure she would rest and eat healthily. He wished he could have been there for her recovery, to help her navigate through life but he chose another direction and he could only blame himself. Namjoon dreamt of being the first person his soulmates would be thinking of when they thought of safety. How ironic it was that his soulmates didn’t even trust him enough for them to confide in him. Namjoon can recall a time when he used to try and get ready to welcome his soulmates in his life before he met any of them. He would die before telling anyone about it, but he took cooking lessons when he was younger, just so that he would be able to be a good cook for his soulmates. He also tried a bunch of other things, from pottery to wood carving, Namjoon wanted to be a steady man, trustworthy, and who would be able to love his soulmate to his fullest.

And instead, they got a coward. A coward who wasn't able to protect anyone. On the opposite actually, Namjoon was clumsy, blunt, and brutally incapable of protecting any of the souls that he was supposed to cherish and he hated himself for that. He wished he could have done much more for (Y/N) but he had known that he couldn't. How could he do better if he hadn't been able to protect his 6 other mates the first time something terrible happened to them? How could he protect someone he would hurt because of his own bond? He was broken. Yongsun broke the healthy link they used to have, the one that made him believe that as long as they were together, nothing could happen to them. Namjoon now knew better than to believe in those words.

"Your name means nothing to us." Instead, Namjoon wished he had told her: "my name should mean nothing to you, please run away while you still can, I don't want to disappoint or hurt you and I know that I will." He had wished that his face didn't hold so many bad memories and so much hurt for her to physically gag as she recognized him. He saw it; the moment her eyes found him, she instantly recognized him and probably replayed the only moment they “shared” before their reunion. He saw it, the hurt, the distress, and the hatred. He wished it had been different, and here he was, desperately waiting for an answer from her, wishing that he could see her in real life just one more time. Wishing that he could tell her how his heart had been aching to find her, to let her in that day, and that he regretted every single word he uttered. Namjoon wished he could tell her that he threw up a few hours after everything because he felt sick with himself, unable to look at himself in the mirror without seeing the ghost of who he wished he could have been for his soulmates. Namjoon wished he could tell her that his heart never broke so hardly as after their bond broke, that he had been left with a lump in his throat, dried lips, and tears staining his cheeks. That despite the hurtful words that he spat at her, he never wished anything but happiness for her, even if it had to be without them.

Seeing her happy on a stage was everything he could have hoped for her. Her smile was always small but genuine. Namjoon lost a lot of himself when he rejected their last soulmate, taking the main burn of the rejection, as he had been the one to be so vehement about it. Taking Jungkook's and Jimin's anger, brushing Taehyung's and Seokjin's tears away, ignoring the pang in his heart each time Yoongi and Hoseok refused to talk to him, being the most awful person in (Y/N)'s eyes. He'd take it all, as long as it would mean that he could try to protect them all. He did it terribly, he could only agree with this. But Namjoon's goal had never changed. He just wanted to protect them all. He'd take all the blames, all the harsh words if they needed him to. He just wanted them happy. And if (Y/N) needed to hate someone in particular in their group, then so be it. He’d be this person, the one to say the harshest words to make sure that their bond would remain broken. He couldn’t let her close, she would die in their arms, and Namjoon would never allow that. Maybe it was only hypocritical because, in anyone else’s eyes, he left her to die alone. Everyone heard the terrible words he told her, the way he pushed her away and blocked her from entering their home. But no one saw that he never left the chair in front of the window in his room, fully dressed with a bottle of water in his bag, ready to get out as soon as everyone would be away to find (Y/N) and bring her to the nearest hospital. No one—not even Taehyung—saw his research about the effect of performing a medical bond on a soulmate, or performing a medical bond after having already survived one. No one had known that Namjoon had decided that if the break of the bond happened to be too much for her—and it was likely to be—he would be ready to put his life on the line to medically bond with her to make sure that she would survive. Because if he learned one thing from his research, it was that performing a medical bond twice was likely to turn out badly, not for the receiver, but for the giver. Yet Namjoon couldn’t care any less. He wouldn’t let one of his soulmates die, he promised himself he would save them all and he did. Even when he saw, right after what happened, Hoseok and Yoongi running out of the house under the rain, he sprung into action, not wanting anything to happen to either of them, especially after everything that Yoongi went through. It had been enough. Yoongi went back home alone that day, but no one, except the three of them, knew about that. And Namjoon would keep it this way as long as needed because it hadn’t been enough and it would never be enough to explain why he acted the way he did, even if he tried his best to protect everyone at once. Hoseok and Yoongi had made it clear that day; that what he was doing would never undo what he told and did to her and he agreed with them. He shouldn’t have put everyone in danger that way, and shouldn’t have talked to (Y/N) that way, but his younger self had not found any other solution. Maybe he should have worked harder to find a different way to solve the problem but he didn’t. But now that he knew that everyone—including (Y/N)—was expecting answers, maybe this part of the story would need to be told. (One day, he kept on telling himself, one day he’d be ready even if he tried to escape this moment as long as he could.)

Namjoon put deadlines for himself to become the man that their soulmates could be proud of and he felt like he already missed them all. He truly didn't believe that he could be that person anymore. His mother used to tell him that she was so proud of him, that he had a gorgeous heart but he found himself thinking that his heart was most likely buried under ashes, just like his dream life went up in smoke. It had been hard, but Namjoon had come to accept it; to accept that he'd never find his happy ending with his seven soulmates and that he needed to be someone he wouldn't want to be for the sake of everyone. He decided to do damage control as much as he could. He had needed to be the bad guy, the one who had to destroy their future with (Y/N) to make sure that their bond wouldn't act up even with the distance. Namjoon would take the worst role to play if it meant that the others could feel a bit lighter about the one they had to embody. His life had nothing of a play, but if he needed to become a bad character for the sake of his soulmates, he would. Namjoon would do anything to soothe everyone's pain and brush their guilt away. There was so much he wished he could do better, so many emotions he felt swiveling through the bond that he wished to soothe. Yet, Namjoon felt like the more he tried, the worst the outcome was. Trust with his soulmates was almost broken, always walking on a thin line with them.

Oh, how he wished that he could change that, that he could repair the broken trust between him and his soulmates and do something to bridge the cliff's gap that he once willingly widened as much as he could. And as much as Seokjin keep on telling him that it was never too late and that they could choose to become new people, he couldn't let himself believe that it could work. Not only because he was stubborn, but because Namjoon was afraid that he wouldn't be enough to repair the damages he caused. Powerless and useless was how he felt. How could he ever be enough for the soulmates he kept on hurting and that he let down more than once? How could he ever reduce the pain that he inflicted on their last soulmate, even if he tried his best to protect her? Namjoon did not have an answer to those questions and it terrified him. He might never be enough, why should he force himself into (Y/N)'s life when she obviously didn't want him to? Yoongi once told him that he had to fight for what he loved, but he kept on failing each time he tried.

However, Namjoon did not let himself linger on the thought; he kept on telling himself that he only did that to himself. He could have done it differently, he reminded himself plenty of times. And yet, he didn't. He ruined everything and the guilt was eating him alive. Nothing he did could ever alleviate the pain and despite Namjoon knowing that he had no right to think that way, sometimes, he wished that he died during Yongsun's episode instead of watching his worst nightmare become his new reality.

Jungkook came back to (Y/N)'s home with a sense of relief and exhaustion until he opened the front door and heard the distinct sound of glass (or tableware) breaking, instantly putting him on the edge. It threw him right back to that time with Yongsun when one of them said something she didn't like, she would throw a glass or a plate at them without caring about what they would need to buy again. It was always like that. She never cared about anything, only about her comfort and the way they made her feel. It was never the other way around. However, Jungkook tried to breathe as deeply as he could. He wasn't there anymore, and he would never be. The (Y/N) he met for real was not like that, was she?

Breath uneven and heart pounding in his chest, Jungkook entered as silently as possible the apartment, removing his shoes as quickly as he could with his trembling fingers. He berated himself; he needed to stop associating (Y/N) with Yongsun, but his head wasn't listening to him. He kept on hearing Yongsun’s high-pitched voice yelling at him despite his attempt of brushing it away. He physically knew that he wasn’t there anymore, but his brain couldn’t let him in peace. He needed to sleep or to see the real (Y/N) so that his brain would let go of Yongsun's image.

Staggering, he entered the kitchen with teary eyes, his breath even shorter than before, until his eyes found the blurry figure of his soulmate. She wasn't screaming, she wasn't throwing plates in anyone's face, no, she wasn't doing any of these things. Instead, she was simply standing in the middle of her kitchen, motionless, with pieces of glass in her hands. Jungkook let out a breath that he hadn't even noticed he had been holding until he noticed that (Y/N) was definitely not moving, it wasn’t just his eyes being annoying because he was on the verge of crying. Her eyes seemed to have caught something because her whole body was still. Carefully whipping his eyes, he tried to gauge (Y/N)'s expression until he noticed blood in her hands. Approaching cautiously, he wondered if she even heard him enter, with how out of it she seemed to be. He didn’t want to scare her if it was the case.

"(Y/N)?" His voice came out more shakily than he was hoping for it to be. "I'm… I'm back, what are you doing?" She finally looked up and Jungkook's heart stopped as he noticed a tear rolling on her cheek. What the hell had happened while he had been gone?

"I don't know, Jungkook… I don't know." Jungkook watched her throwing the pieces of glass away, washing carelessly her hands while not even looking at them.

"Are you okay?" His heart was still pounding but he tried not to let it overwhelm him. Her eyes caught his watchful gaze and she didn't need words to reply. Something had obviously happened, but Jungkook couldn't get what exactly.

"Did you know?" She simply asked, leaving him at a loss for words.

"Know what?"

"Why Namjoon was so hell-bent on rejecting me." Jungkook's eyes widened, so he told her? Did they talk? What did he say? Did he hurt her? Was that why she looked so broken right now?

"He told you? What did he say?"

"So you don't know."

"He never told us." She almost snorted but she seemed too tired to do so.

"You trusted him even if you didn't know?" His silence was enough for her to understand that she was right, "it doesn't matter, now. Maybe you should read this, though." Her eyes fell on a few documents on the table. They were scattered on the surface and Jungkook could spot some highlighted lines. It seemed like she had already gone through it and he wondered what it all meant.

"Namjoon's and Taehyung's names appear in the writers. So maybe you'd like to know that they know about all that mess." And so she left him with his shaking body and ragged breath while a headache started to make itself known. His panic attack might have been slightly avoided, but the turmoil in his heart didn't seem to be stopping any time soon as his eyes rested on the crumpled paper.

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Uploaded : 21/08/2022

Taglist: @sweetmoonlight9, @mickmoon, @dreamer95, @loveyoongles, @spicetouched, @jikooksgirl19, @summerevelyn, @springjade, @clevercoley, @prooteus, @sehun096rainbow, @ainsle-e, @ifyouareme, @sunshinee0-0, @fangirl125reader, @sea-nevermind-enthusiast, @ot-atlas, @thequeen-kat, @skyys-universe, @sichajeon , @yukiehyukie, @amxranthinesworld , @potate-oh, @mawwnsterr, @ celaenaelentiyavox, @dvoz-writes, @honeybaby-94, @ignixte, @ paradiseanouk, @missseoulite, @naajix, @maloriekane, @bunzom, @nyamnomnamujoon , @incorrect-assumptions, @hopetookmysoul, @010op10, @seaoffangirling, @purplelady85, @daddyjoonie, @ramaali1, @powiepow, @chimchoom, @miriamguerra99 , @midnight1199, @wannabestark, @fangirl125reader, @hannahdinse8, @powiepow , @ilovjaehyun, @wt-fxck, @louisavuittonswrld, @lochness-butmakeitsexy, @squishymochiuwu, @yukiehyukie, @daydreambrliever, @fangirl125reader, @deathkat657 , @reallysparklychaos, @irony-of-living, @scentedsope, @kim-jias-den, @honeyspillings , @tinyoonsblog, @kawaiikpoplover268 , @leahknox, @aliceoracleollormusic,

Please think about commenting/ rebloging! It always makes my day uwu

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sailorgundam308 · 7 months

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BG3 introspection bit

This one isn't edgy or funny. I just feel like sharing, prompted by seeing how, indeed, BG3 is one of the greatest if not THE greatest pieces of entertainment we've got in a long while. But I know for so many people it turned out to be much more than just that. That includes me. To make a long story short, I've been living a full world away from my loved ones for almost a decade, in a place that is particularly hostile towards me. I'm here out of necessity and choice, since my other option happens to be worse. It's been shockingly lonely, until I grew used to the isolation. Still, I made do. I make do. Around a few years back, and especially last year, things took a turn for the much worse. I've spiraled into a very, very dark place, which in turn isolated me even more from other people - but also from myself.

Being so far away from familiarity and the things I love worn me down, and disconnected from who I am and what I enjoy. To the point I effectively stayed in a limbo, frozen in time, empty, for the past years. It's been way more scary than when I was obviously and loudly sad or depressed, because at least then I had energy to react in some way. As an artist by profession and by passion, it was even more concerning that I could not create ANYTHING - words, images, even concepts. My mind had been simply silent, dead. I quite literally spent the last 3-4 years just existing, going to my job like a mindless clockwork because otherwise I wouldn't be able to make rent and end up getting deported. I knew I was utterly and completely lost, and had no idea what I could grab onto to pull me out. It was as if I couldn't move - I did not really wanted to, somehow.

It happens to everyone, I think, that sometimes a seemingly random thing that you engage with unexpectedly becomes a sort of lifeline. It happened to me once before, during a complicated part of my teens. And now it seemed to have happened again because I decided to play Baldur's Gate 3. I mentioned before, I am a bit older and have played BG1 and BG2, and also DnD and the like. I've always been the nerdy artsy type, and it had always fueled my imagination and gave me energy to keep creating, keep moving, searching, growing.

It was really a struck of luck that I heard the news that BG3 was a thing. I was so isolated I did not engage with any piece of media anymore - I watched no news, no movies, no series, read no books. When I think about it, it's really scary how I felt absolutely nothing, how truly empty of any will to live I was. But it's been wild for a while now. I happened to be on 'vacation' when BG3 got released, and I was sucked into it like I was desperate. And I probably was. I needed anything to take me away from where I was, who (or the lack of) I had become. The game did just that. It's not a coincidence I put 750+ hours in it. I could not stand looking at my own circumstances and somehow I managed to finally escape anywhere else. While I recognize I went to the opposite extreme of (problematic) engagement, I also saw how my mind seeemed to switch on again after a while - as if I was reminded of how it used to be.

Ideas, cohesive thoughts, images, the unavoidable urge to move, to create something - all these things that made me ME started to come back.

I remembered how much I enjoyed fantasy, fiction, having ideas, organizing, planning, making things come true - how much just marking a paper with a pencil brings me joy. How my own mind can be rich and exciting, and how I have the skills to translate those impulses into reality. And that is what made me, all my life. It's hard to explain how I feel after 4 years not creating a single thing, having no impulse or creative idea and watching life pass in a haze, now I feel like I'm finally reconecting to something precious. My doctor even pointed it out, how it seems I'm finally waking up after years, coming out of whatever dark hole I've been in.

While it's been a short while, I'm very aware this is essentially a hyperfixation, but for someone who (even though I tried) could not feel anything towards anything for so long, this seems like a blessing. And I'm doing my best to make a stair out of it - use the momentum to branch out into other things I know I need and miss, the other things that have always been part of my life that I'd let go of.

I'm probably not the only one who clicked with this game, and it somehow pulled us out of strange, scary places. Even though it's a lot of projection on our part, people in such situations need something they relate to in order to project onto, to grab to float. Not everything works, it must be something special to the person at the right time. Lucky me that Baldur's Gate 3 happened when it did, the way it did, and that I was where I was.

I'm really, truly happy I stumbled onto the news of the game, for whatever reason took action to actually buy it, open and play it. When I did, I had no idea it would be the lifeline I'd grab onto. But it's been, and it meant so much to me. That's all of my sad introspective blurb. I have no way of explaining how thankful I feel to everyone who put this game together. While it wasn't the intention of the creators, BG3 gave me the push I so desperately needed and that nothing else had managed to.

I'd still be lost in a very dark place without it.

:')

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #personal #tw mental health #tw depression #serious shit #introspection #kinda random #very raw #blurb

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this-is-my-canon · 2 years

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NARUTO FANFICS:

*fics in green are ongoing/incomplete

KakaSaku-

A Song of Lightning and Blossoms: He only wanted to honor and remember the people he loved and lost. She only wanted to marry for love. The kingdom had different plans for them. By the time they realized how deep they were in the game, at least they had each other.

Twelve Months of Sexy Ninjas, ch9, Office Meeting (KakaSakuYama): When Sakura barges into the hokage’s office with a grievance, she stumbles onto discovering a secret of Kakashi’s, but she has a secret of her own to reveal. By the time they’ve had a private meeting about this, Sakura walks out of that office with Kakashi and Yamato shouldering less grievances, more secrets.

S-KRA: No matter how much Kakashi tries, he can’t dodge his best friend’s relentless efforts to pull him out of his depression and help him move on from the past. When Guy’s latest surprise for him results in a trendy new artificial human unit crashing into Kakashi’s home and his life, Kakashi is so thrown out of balance by S-KRA’s affects on him that he doesn’t even have time to consider whether he affects her. Fic inspired by the TV series, Humans

You Think You Know Someone…(KakaSakuIno): Just when Ino feels comfortable with Sakura’s relationship with her boyfriend, she realizes she shouldn’t have let her guard down. One night changes everything and awakens feelings none of them recognized before. What started as a single act lets their dynamic take new form. Letting her guard down may be the best thing Ino ever did.

Stay: Sakura knows why Kakashi runs away. After all, she’s been hurt, too. She sees the need he has. She enjoys fulfilling it. This can’t be anything more for him right now. Sakura understands that. All she wants is for him to stay.

Meet Your Maker (KakaSakuGen): Genma knew about vampires. He didn’t know he’d meet one when he was down and out. He certainly couldn’t have anticipated the thrilling night he was in for after it - and all the nights to come.

Kill for Me: “I’d die before I let anything happen to you, Sakura.”

Sakura reaches forward, stroking the wet, matted strands off Kakashi’s dewy forehead. “Don’t die for me, oyabun. Killing for me is enough.”

(Yakuza AU)

through violence: Amazon women came to exist and conquer through a love of violence. Through a love of violence, the God of War came to steal the heart of the Amazon queen.

KakaYama-

I’m Not Where You Left Me: Emotional vulnerability with Kakashi Hatake is a dangerous thread Tenzo should’ve known not to pull. He’s learned his lesson and won’t make the same mistake again - until there’s Team 7, a new identity, and a very different Kakashi than the broken young man Yamato remembers.

Twelve Months of Sexy Ninjas, ch4, We’ll Weather It Together: Team Kakashi is forced to take shelter when a thunderstorm interrupts their return home from their latest mission. Fortunately, Yamato can provide that shelter. But little does he know, Kakashi has ulterior motives and plans to turn this storm to his advantage.

Twelve Months of Sexy Ninjas, ch9, Office Meeting (KakaSakuYama, linked above)

How We Get to the End (KakaObiYama): Kakashi is hokage. Yamato is by his side enjoying well-deserved peace in the wake of the Fourth Great Ninja War. Obito is not dead. Now that Kakashi’s old teammate has returned to the Hidden Leaf, feelings thought to be buried along with him are exhumed. Kakashi’s are far more favorable than Yamato’s. Once Obito’s come into play, their paths to happiness become entangled like a nest of thread they can only unravel by weaving through each other.

Get Off: When school lets out, all Kakashi wants to do is be left alone. His coworkers have other plans. After a missed opportunity Friday night, he finds a surprise waiting for him in class the next schoolweek.

Yamato: Tenzo has a secret meeting with his Yakuza contact in a soap land.

Eclipse (KakaObiRinYama, linked below)

KakaObi-

pour me your last drops (KakaObiRin): When Rin moves in with Kakashi, Obito’s last-ditch effort to confess his feelings to her results in more consequences and untapped desires than anyone anticipated.

To Reach This Point (KakaObiRin): After Obito died, Rin found a way to Kakashi’s heart. After Obito came back alive, she realized she still had his heart and didn’t want to let it go. After years of turmoil, she realized she wasn’t the only one enduring this struggle. The solution was easy - for her. The boys, with all their stubbornness, required some coaxing to admit what they all had right in front of them.

How We Get to the End (KakaObiYama, linked above)

wake up and smell the coffee (KakaObiRin): Kakashi, Obito and Rin navigate through the trials and tribulations of working their polyamorous lifestyle into the modern world in which they live.

Point of No Return (and never wanting to change a thing) (KakaObi w/established KakaObiRin): Obito finds himself yearning at one of the rare times both of his partners are nowhere to be found. Thankfully, someone arrives home early. But he has his own idea of fulfilling Obito’s desires. Then someone else arrives home early. In the end, Obito has no complaints.

A Good Old Konoha Orgy: “If we’re going out, we need to go out with a bang. A party that’s so monumental, none of the others can match it.”

“A bang…” Kakashi flipped through his book, and Obito was ready to clobber him when Kakashi’s eyes lit on the page, his brows perking. “Orgy.”

Obito choked. “E-excuse me?”

Kakashi met his gaze evenly. “That’s what happens in the finale of Makeout Paradise. Obito, it’s a phenomenal ending.” (inspired by the movie, A Good Old Fashioned Orgy)

All’s Fair in the Line of Duty: Obito’s undercover mission is derailed when an old associate appears in a most inconvenient way, until Obito uses the unexpected appearance to his advantage

Our Destination (KakaObiRin): Rin, Obito, and Kakashi are taking off on a road trip. On the road, they solidify their relationship...and put it to the test. More important than their destination are the experiences they share along the way.

The Hatake Grift (KakaObiRin): Kakashi Hatake is a billionaire who gained access to his trust fund at a young age due to unfortunate circumstances. Rin Nohara and Obito Uchiha plan to gain access to it through an entirely different method.

Twelve Months of Sexy Ninjas, ch10, Impasse: After being sucked into kamui together, while there’s a war going on in the dimension they just left, Obito and Kakashi’s one-on-one encounter goes differently than they could have ever imagined. Some things change. Some things stay the same.

A Masterful Case of Fiction: When Kakashi and his partner are assigned to investigate the murder of a college professor, their prime suspect turns out to be a hard case that just might be the death of Kakashi if he doesn’t solve this murder first.

Eclipse (KakaObiRinYama): An intimate poker night at the apartment gets derailed when Tenzo’s struggles with dating strike Kakashi with inspiration. His motivation is just as charitable as it is selfish, but Kakashi’s aim is to help his ex get his sex life back on track.

He, Obito, and Rin all really, really want to help.

KakaTsu-

welcome to my cage: On the eve of his swearing in as Hokage, Kakashi doesn’t feel prepared for what comes next. Knowing his struggle, his predecessor steps up to ease him into his transition in a way that has mutual benefits.

KakaRin-

Twelve Months of Sexy Ninjas, ch1, Sit and Stay: With their ANBU mission halted due to unexpected weather, Kakashi and Rin find a way to keep each other warm while weathering the storm in a cold, dark hideout.

Cold Brew: Serving coffee to Madara’s coffeehouse patrons pays the bills while Rin works her way through nursing school. Her boss thinks she’s dead weight. Her coworkers are chaotic. But beyond that, Rin likes the atmosphere and she enjoys catching glimpses into her customers‘ lives. Especially when it comes to the guy who always orders the cold brew.

pour me your last drops (KakaObiRin, linked above)

To Reach This Point (KakaObiRin, linked above)

wake up and smell the coffee (KakaObiRin, linked above)

Our Destination (KakaObiRin, linked above)

The Hatake Grift (KakaObiRin, linked above)

Eclipse (KakaObiRinYama, linked above)

Starting Point: After Kannabi Bridge, Rin and Kakashi are left to pick up the pieces, carrying on without Obito. Filling the gaping hole he left behind is not as easily done as it should seem. It takes time, but eventually they have to start to heal.

SakuIno-

You Think You Know Someone…(KakaSakuIno, linked above)

Twelve Months of Sexy Ninjas, ch2, Sweeter: When Ino walks through the door to meet Sakura after her return from a long, exhausting mission, she expects her to put out a little more energy. But it won’t go without reward.

Attempt to Rearrange with You: “Maybe…”

“Maybe what?”

Ino shrugs shyly, flicking her bangs out of her face to give Sakura a coy smile. “I’ve been thinking…maybe we should both take a break from chasing men.”

“Oh yeah? And do what?”

“Think about it,” Ino says as she licks her glossy lips.

KakaMei-

Mei’s Board Room: Negotiations take on a whole new meaning when the Mizu Industries board room is ambushed by the Yakuza. Negotiations take on a whole new meaning when the CEO is left alone with Kakashi.

Blackmail: If Ao hadn’t overbooked her with meetings, Mei might’ve paid more notice to the next name scrawled on her list before she’d allowed the Yakuza to walk through her door.

KakaKushi-

Hardest Thing: Kushina has made mistakes she needs to correct. But how can she call something that was so beautiful a mistake? How can she justify leaving such a source of her happiness behind? Moving on from Kakashi will be the hardest thing she’s ever done.

ItaKarin-

Take What You Want: Karin thinks she wants Sasuke. She hopes he wants her.

That is, until his older brother appears, already knowing what he wants.

#Naruto #KakaYama #KakaObi #KakaRin #KakaSaku #Naruto fanfics #not sfw links

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therubyreader · 1 year

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My Review of Siege and Storm by Leigh Bardugo

See a full list of my book reviews here

*Disclaimer: there will be spoilers later on in the review*

Review Word Count, non-spoiler: 854 Review Word Count Total: 1,582

We're back with the second installment of the Shadow and Bone series! You all have managed to make me a fan of this universe so much so that by the time I'm writing this I just started Crooked Kingdom (I'm reading in publishing order) and I had to force myself to stop because I didn't want to get too ahead of myself before I finished writing all of the reviews for the rest of the series. But do not fret imaginary readers, I will be doing a review of Six of Crows sometime this week while I wait for King of Scars to come off hold.

On to the main event!

Siege and Storm takes us back to Ravka, where Alina and Mal are escaping the country, on the run from the Darkling to keep Alina safe from his control. Of course they are eventually captured and forced to help the Darkling find the sea whip, the second of Morozova's amplifiers, for Alina so that her power can be used to aid the Darkling's evil plan, or whatever. She is rescued by privateer Sturmhond, who originally was working for the Darkling but then claims he's working for a higher bidder and takes her back to Ravka in order to strengthen the Second Army and help defeat the Darkling while also learning more about her powers and forbidden magic (ooo spooky).

As per usual with trilogies, at least in my personal opinion, I almost always find that the second book is the best, it's always the right mix of plot and action. The reader is already well aware of the world that we're in so we don't have to focus on worldbuilding like in the first book, and the author isn't rushing to try and tie up all loose ends into a pretty little bow like what usually happens in the last book. This isn't a complaint, yet (stay tuned for my Ruin and Rising review), but just an observation and after finishing the trilogy I can confirm that the second book is my favorite. I mean, for starters, Nikolai Lantsov beloved, he's been added to my fictional crush list and this is the first time a fictional crush has been added to my list that's younger than me while I'm consuming the source material, though it is only a year-ish, closer to two, but still.

I think my favorite part of this book was that we get to see Alina struggling mentally with the weight of being the Sun Summoner and also how she starts to become addicted to the power of the amplifiers after getting the second one. I feel like books of this nature don't really add in the mental toll that the plot would take on its characters. On top of Alina slowly becoming more like the Darkling we see Mal spiral into depression and self-harm (through fighting and drinking) and just becoming an even worse person than he was in the first book, which surprised me because I didn't think I could dislike him any more than I already did. But at least this time he's being annoying because he's mentally ill as opposed to his regular brand of annoying and bad, so yay justification, I guess.

Another thing I loved was how we see Alina trying her best to be a leader that the Grisha need but she's honestly just winging it and using some advice from Nikolai, which is honestly pretty good advice he should write a self help book. It's realistic, a random girl who up until like a couple of months before was just some map maker in the First Army was suddenly the second most powerful Grisha in the world and expected to lead all other Grisha into war would not know how to be a leader. She is honestly just trying to do her best while slowly losing her mind, and it's realistic, tell me if you weren't in her shoes that you would do better. It's easy to judge from an outsider's perspective but we as the reader have to recognize that Alina just inadvertently killed multiple people, gained an immense amount of power that's making her thirst for more, learning about a new type of dark magic that the Darkling is welding and wants to participate in it, and her closest friend/lover is being an ass to her all while she has to be the leader of all Grisha for the safety of the world, I would also go insane. But that is good writing and a great time to read because these characters, despite their magical powers and titles are just people who make mistakes and are also sometimes not the nicest which makes the book much more relatable and it feels more realistic and immersive.

Overall, this was a great continuation of the series and it was a nice mix of setting up the story and also conflict, the final battle was absolutely insane and also very bloody. I would give this book a doesn't have middle child syndrome and is the best in the series out of ten.

Spoilers Below!!!

I don't think I have much to talk about that requires a spoiler warning since everything I liked about the book could be explained without the need to give any essential plot details but I do want to talk about the love of my life Nikolai Lantsov. First of all, I had a bit of an inkling as to what Nikolai was off doing when I was reading Shadow and Bone when Genya mentioned that he hadn't been at court for years and was apprenticing for a shipwright, a civil engineer, and a gunsmith, which I suspected was a cover up for something cooler, and I was right. He's also such a good dude, Mal should take notes, he was always trying to take care of Alina, never pushed boundaries (except for that one time he kissed her but at least he gave her a warning and more or less accepted her kicking him about it), and respected her choices without throwing a temper tantrum. Refreshing. He is also the funniest character in the book, I'm not going to give any specific quotes since I don't remember whether they were in this book or in Ruin and Rising but just know he had me cackling on multiple occasions.

I did also really like Alina and Nikolai's relationship, though it was mostly one sided in terms of romance (Alina you suck) they were pretty much best friends and I felt proud seeing Alina become friends with more people that aren't Mal (and also Genya but she was in her not a good person era). They genuinely became really good friends which made my heart happy, especially since Alina had at least one person who was being entirely honest with her the whole time and cared about her as a person not just as a pawn in his game.

Also a side note about the cult that the Apparat made surrounding Alina, first of all, so strange, second of all it does really add to the plot because there's another layer of guilt for Alina to feel about how she might not be strong enough to protect all of these people who essentially see her as their personal Jesus (which is a song btw) though Jesus doesn't exist in the universe. The cult adds more pressure for Alina to be the savior of Ravka alongside the everything else pressure which is a nice bit of spice for the plot that makes you feel really bad for her.

Also the fact that the final battle is probably the bloodiest scene in the whole book and the whole thing just happened so suddenly, we're all just enjoying Nikolai's birthday dinner and then out of nowhere a bunch of nichevo'ya crash the party and literally rip the crown prince apart, which like deserved because he sucked, but damn they didn't have to do it so suddenly. The way that all of the death was described too was insane, just bodies everywhere, people being eaten and ripped apart by the nichevo'ya essentially massacring the entire Second Army and a good chunk of the Soldat Sol, it was so intense that it really captured the pure evil of the Darkling. And you don't even get time to mourn your favorite characters, because people just keep dying, as soon as you're like "omg no this character that I grew attached to just died" two lines later it's like "omg not another character that I grew attached to is dying" and it keeps going on like that. Absolutely insane and honestly well written, no matter how bloody it was and sad it made me.

Another thing I wanted to talk about was the last fight with the Darkling which was so insane to me. This girl literally made out with him in order to steal his power enough to control the nichevo'ya, and then it worked??? That whole scene was so strange I honestly don't know what else to say about it but it sure is funny in hindsight, so there is that.

Again, overall my favorite book in the trilogy and I enjoyed almost every page, all the ones that had Mal in them made me mad but it's ok I got over it by the time I finished Ruin and Rising, which you all will see a review for very soon, executive dysfunction be damned.

#val's book reviews #shadow and bone #siege and storm #leigh bargudo #grishaverse #shadow and bone series #shadow and bone books #the grisha series #the grisha trilogy

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unauthorizedmagicians · 6 months

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Episode 1 - Unauthorized Magic

this ended up being so long and they prob all will be tbf

Foreshadowing the time-loop from the very beginning huh? I see how it is.

Q’s mental illness being his first and last motif.

I forget how good the soundtrack is.

How exactly did he get institutionalized? Is he self-aware enough to submit himself or did his parents or what? Anyways moving on

Also, he takes a drug that's not even for depression its for OCD and phobias so maybe that's why it's not working huh…

I wish we had more of the books throughout the series. I think it's really interesting that he’s narrating it. Very much so mirrors his true belief in Fillory and in magic in season 4.

Ah yes, forgot Jane was a massive homeschool kid and was so blunt.

Julia makes me so upset in the early seasons. “You can’t run away hard enough, can you.” Firstly, shut up. Second, he admits this in the trials. Third, Quentin also does the thing where he just doesn’t tell the people in his life about his mental illness and therefore the coping mechanisms he uses look like childish escapism to everyone around him.

The contrast between Julia in the first episode telling Q to get real versus like 5 episodes later going batshit over not having magic so maybe just can it actually.

I feel the need to specify but I do not hate Julia as a character at all. She just pisses me off in the first like episode and a half or so. Like until she’s got her shit sorted w magic and the importance of restraint and all that she’s just judging everybody for everything like she’s better than so yea.

QUELIOT MEETING

“Am I hallucinating?” “If you were, how would asking me help?” ICONIQUE

Penny being a “don’t cheat off me” person in his first scene is so out of character but yk had to introduce him ig

Apparently started new meds. Yea ok. They started him on OCD meds? Alright then. They tried everything ig

Ok so she hurts herself to change the circumstances around the memory spell. But we know that this was all on purpose and Jane made sure this was what happened, that she didn’t go to Brakebills but she knew about magic so she could become stronger. So did he just not do anything?

Oml the fucking score. I could talk for hours about the score. The silence before his anger starts building, the small wind as Fogg riles him up, the deep souring as we see the shadows looking like moths on the wall, the regal brass when he builds the card castle that looks suspiciously like the one in Fillory. just. all of it

The garden path…

“You haven't been depressed, you’ve been alone” LIES. BULLSHIT. LIAR. he just wants to capitalize on ur pain and if ur taking ur meds ur not in pain so u cant cast magic but ur telling him what he wants to hear so he’ll give them up

“Nerd boy dragon porn shit” hehe little does he know

QUELIMARGO MEETING

The garden path…

The lighting in this show reflects how Q views the world. Overexposed: hope and all that shit. Underexposed: death and nihilism and all that shit

QUALICE MEETING

Hate that ship name but dont know a better one

ORLIYODI MEETING

“The answer is yes, til you pass out and then again when you wake up.” “Did you just read my-” “nah, its just a guess” ICONIQUEEEEEEE

“The world is inherently unfair, act accordingly” one liners from day 1

Q being a little shit about Julia getting hte short end dsflkjdhgkds hate hate hate hate incel shithead hate hate hate hate sorry i was projecting from the book and only a little bit from the show

Why does he stand so close to Alice when he goes up to her

AND SHE JUST LETS HIM

Penny and kady r so married from day 1 its so painful

How does Q not know what dubstep is???

The end of this episode is absolutely brutal and nobody can react like at all

Also this last scene i cant tell if Fogg made the coin fall, if quentin did it, or if the beast did

#the magicians #unauthorized magicians rewatch #the magicians syfy

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jsimm126 · 2 years

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Everything is Changing and So Should You! Part 5: Insight & Guidance

Hello and welcome or welcome back to Everything is Changing and So Should You! Last week we discussed how to be cautious, safe, and secure. This was by far the most controversial of the four others written so far, because of how realistic and scary the example I used was. On a much lighter note, this week we are going to discuss how others guide us to our own social decisions, as well as when and how we should allow others to influence our decisions. Welcome to Insight and Guidance. :D

Today, I want to start by saying, Thank you for reading this article and if You have not read the first four, I hope that you would before reading the final article in this five-part series. I have spent a lot of time working on these and I hope that they have helped you even in some small significant way. So, thank you.

This story is not about me directly but about someone with who I am close. I will not reveal who they are or my relationship with them, however, before writing this I conducted a brief interview to recount the events of the story properly and understand their connection and side to the story better. For simplicity, grammar, and sounds, I will be referring to the character in the first person as if they were me.

It was a chilly winter night in January 2021, many people were choosing to stay inside due to Covid. I chose to go outside and see how many people were able to drive. It snowed strong that night, and many were stuck at home, or remoting to their jobs. My dad was no exception. My mom on the other hand wanted to come with me outside. We decided we would walk on the snowy trail in our neighborhood. We start walking and then realize it is about to start snowing quickly. I want to go back but my mom was pushy and kept saying “just a little longer c’mon.” Finally, we ended up going into a forest connected to our neighborhood. It starts to get dark, and I want to back. “Mom,” I say, “Can we head back now?” She just shrugs and continues to keep moving forward. About another fifteen minutes pass and we are deep in the cold territory and can no longer see around us. “Mom!?!,” I scream out. “I am turning back.” She looks at me, and finally agrees to turn back. It takes us about 45 minutes because we can barely see, and there seem to be no signs of civilization anywhere. But we make it back. Three days later we find out that there was something in those woods. The news shows a man who would kill and do various disturbing activities to women.

A dark story requires strong morals, and this story makes it obvious what these are. The main character was trying to make their own decisions however when given the chance they chose to blindly follow what their mom said or did.

This is interesting because, in real life, we often allow people to make decisions for us. It is easier or worries about the fear of being embarrassed. This idea has become even more prominent in post covid times. Some of the arguments I discussed before were how do you keep yourself from going into autopilot and understand you have a voice as well as keeping focus and not shifting your focus. All these ideas care easily influenced by our peers. For example, many people chose and choose to not take as many safety precautions as others. And I fell victim to this. I saw none of my friends were wearing a mask, so I chose not to wear one. We must understand that our friends can guide us, but we need to use our insight for our judgments.

After hearing their story, I asked them to talk about what they had learned or understood from this story.

They summed up the whole thing in three main points

Trust yourself

Do not be afraid to speak your mind around people

Understand the influence you can have on people, or they can have on you

All three of these are fantastic points but the one that caught me off guard was the first one, trust yourself. It sounds simple but it is difficult. So many people struggle with this idea and covid made It even worse. Depression is something you are easily able to lose yourself in, anxiety, stress, etc.

So, to help, I wanted to speak from my own experience with these issues. I wrote down what I considered my definition to be for each of these words, and then I decided to do everything I can to not trigger these responses or ideas.

Stress- Caused by an overachieving level that is unnecessary, or costly to the physical or mental state of one is being

Anxiety – A state of mind caused by an overwhelming number of ideas, concepts, or emotions present at one time

Depression – a lack of motivation caused by any means

Well long story short, it works. This cannot stop these states of mind forever, but I feel more balanced and wholesome in my life.

Overall, I want to say thank you to everyone who has made this journey possible, and I hope you have learned something memorable from these stories and morals.

And as always have a wonderful day. :D

#insight #guidance #post covid 19 #story time #self love #mental health #self worth #journey #closing time

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soulmate-game · 3 years

Note

Daughter of wonderwoman au where marinette finds out her mother is actually Diana and somehow it ends up with her meeting/being introduced to the batfam maybe because she has super strength and is seen yeeting some bad guys who tried to mug her... Or something.

“... you are running from your problems, Mari,” Adrien’s exasperated voice reminded his best friend. Again. She ignored him, and he threw his hands up in exasperation. “Look, you don’t have to do anything about it! Nobody would hold it against you if you decided to just, ignore that you found anything out at all. But you need to actually think about what we just found out and decide whether or not you’re gonna do anything—“ he side-stepped a piece of trash that went flying in his direction. “—or if you’re gonna move on and pretend nothing happened.”

“Isn’t that what I’m doing?” Marinette shot back, pushing her bangs out of her face and tying her hair back with one hand.

“No, you’re currently hiding away in Gotham to avoid your parents while you beat up every random group of idiots who thinks you’re an easy mark,” he retorted. Another wannabe kidnapper went flying in his direction, making him sigh and side step again. She had thrown that one with only her one free hand, showing just how upset she was. “You’re ignoring everything in your life, which is not what we meant we said you should get a little space.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Marinette dropkicked the last criminal into unconsciousness before stepping back and putting her hands on her hips. She looked over at the now seven passed out men in the alleyway, and the one very frustrated ex-model pinching the bride of his nose. “I think I’m coping just fine.”

“It’s better than being forced to suppress all of your emotions, sure,” Adrien reluctantly agreed. “But not by much. Your angry rampage through Gotham has already attracted more attention,” he raised his hand to point at a nearby rooftop. Several shadows lurked there, looming over the building’s edge. “Which, might I add, is exactly why I told you not to come to Gotham.”

“You’re the one who followed me here,” she shot back before turning to the shadowy figures above them. “Go ahead and come down! But it was self defense, and you can’t arrest or beat me up for defending myself!”

The first figure to drop down straightened your just as quickly, revealing the imposing figure of none other than Batman himself. The little white eyes on his cowl seemed to narrow on their own as he looked down at her.

“That might be true, but I’m sure you know my policy on metas in my city,” he grumbled back at her. He wasn’t necessarily threatening, but he definitely wasn’t welcoming either. With all of his limbs hidden behind the cocoon that was his cape, Marinette would never be able to predict his next move if he did decide to fight. Not that she seemed particularly worried about that as she crossed her arms over her chest and met his glare evenly.

“Oh, do you own this city now? I wasn’t given the memo,” she retorted. “And considering I didn’t even know I was a meta until last week? I think I deserve a little slack. I’m angry and if people think the tiny little girl in pink is an easy kidnapping target, then it’s their fault for making themselves into the perfect practice dummies for me to try out my newly discovered strength on.”

Adrien saw the eyes on Batman’s mask narrow even further. Marinette wasn’t exactly at her most charismatic at the moment, and Adrien didn’t wanna get the both of them into a bad relationship with the experienced superhero who always seemed to know things he shouldn’t know. So he stepped up quickly, getting in between Marinette and the Bat and holding his hands up in a placating gesture.

“Okay, Monsieur Batman,” Adrien started slowly, making sure his posture was impeccable and his smile bright. “She’s telling the truth, even if she’s not... the most tactful about it right now. She just found out some very concerning things about her origin and Gotham is the best place for her to hide from her problems and let loose a little pent up aggression. But— well,” he grimaced. “We didn’t intend to run into you guys, but maybe it’s a good thing we did.”

“How so?” Batman was clearly still incredibly suspicious of the both of them and wasn’t giving an inch. So Marinette rolled her eyes (she was still very moody) and leaned around Adrien so she could get a good look at the monochromatic hero.

“I thank my lucky spots that we ran into you, Batman!” She said monotonously. “Me and Adrien are paw-sitively excited at this opportunity.”

Batman. Froze.

Not only were those two lines the very first lines ever spoken to him by two foreign heroes a few years ago (with a few key words changed to protect identities), but they had become their code phrase for whenever they made calls to one another outside of their costumes. All at once it seemed to hit him— the golden hair and bright green eyes on the boy, the blue-black hair and normally super-focused bluebell eyes on the girl that were currently sporting very uncharacteristic frustration. Their heights. Their builds. All of this info flowed through his mind and compared to the information stored in his memory, and it only took the span of two seconds for everything to click.

Suddenly Batman was at full attention, back straight instead of looming over them and eyebrows clearly raised high under his cowl.

He knew Chat Noir and Ladybug would never take a random vacation to Gotham. Ladybug herself had nearly waxed poetic about how much the city depressed her just from the pictures she saw online. If she had willingly come to visit, it was more than to just blow off some steam.

“Batcave?” He asked, earning a relieved look from Adrien and a moody silence from Marinette.

“Please,” Adrien agreed. “You can probably help us, actually.”

—*—*—*—*—*

Marinette leaned back in the metal debriefing chair, legs up on the table and looking for all the world as the picture of pure teenage rebellion and angst. Coincidentally, Red Hood was in the exact same position in the chair next to her.

Batman and all of his other bats and birds were in the cave with the two off-duty Parisian heroes. Everyone except Adrien and Marinette still had their masks on, since the two Parisians were still not privy to their identities. Yet.

To be fair, the bats hadn’t known the identities of the two miraculous users either before today.

“Cha Noir,” Batman started, only to get a head shake from the blond boy.

“Just call me Adrien. Chat’s out of the bag—“ he ignored the groans at the pun and soldiered on, “—so might as well use my real name.”

Batman nodded. “Adrien, then,” he amended. “Why are you and Ladybug really in Gotham?”

Adrien sighed. “I wasn’t lying, before. Marinette,” he gestured to his hero partner. “Just found out some distressing family news. Since HawkMoth is gone, she doesn’t need to repress her negative emotions anymore. But she also didn’t want to be around her parents while she processed everything. I told her to choose any other city— really, I begged— but she insisted on coming to Gotham.”

“The never ending cloud cover and constant rain seem thematic,” she finally spoke up, reaching into her big over-the-shoulder bag and pulling out a large envelope. She threw it to Batman, making the thin package slice through the air like a knife. To nobody’s surprise the seasoned hero easily caught the projectile between two fingers. He looked at the envelope and back to Marinette, silent questions floating in the air between them. Marinette decided to answer at her own pace.

“That’s what we found out. You see, one of my friends is a huge science nerd. A genius. And he wanted to compare DNA samples between us to see if there were any genetic components that determined a person’s suitability towards certain Miraculous or other magical artifacts over others. It was supposed to just be a fun side project that he didn’t expect any breakthroughs on. He mostly just wanted to satisfy his own curiosity. But instead of finding out if our DNA was linked to the miraculous, he found out that my parents are not biologically my parents.”

“Hence the whole just finding out that you’re a meta thing, right?” Nightwing spoke up, fully invested in the story. “Did they never say you were adopted before?”

“It’s not in the system,” she replied easily. “My parents have all the documentation to prove that I’m their biological child, except I’m not. When I confronted them about it, they caved and admitted that they had adopted me in secret and covered it up. Apparently a friend of theirs was involved in something illegal, and,” she waved at the envelope that Batman was now opening. “The details of what we were able to dig up are in there. The summary is this; their friend was part of a secret, illegal experimentation to create clones that could defeat the Justice League—“ the air seemed to get sucked out of the room as soon as those words left Marinette’s mouth. Everyone seemed to know exactly what she was talking about. “—a group called CADMUS. They made me, as apparently one of their early attempts. But I didn’t exhibit any of the powers they were looking for, or any meta traits at all, and my body refused to mature at the rate they wanted. They had no use for a seemingly normal human baby that they managed to clone, so they were preparing to kill me and start over. That’s when my parent’s friend stole me, not wanting to kill an infant, and begged my parents to take me in and pretend I was theirs. Low and behold, it turns out that my DNA just needed a very specific series of emotions to unlock it’s latent abilities.”

“Those emotions being..?” Red hood trailed off, earning a wolfish smile from Marinette.

“Intense anger, betrayal, and confused frustration closely followed by the desire to punch other people’s faces in.”

“That last one is just an assumption,” Adrien chimed in. “And maybe not accurate. But the first three, our scientist friend was able to confirm. The rapid experience of a lot of negative but action-oriented emotions released whatever had been holding back the powers in her DNA from expressing themselves,” he had switched to French so that he could explain everything exactly as Max had told it to them, but he knew all of them were fluent anyway so it was fine. They nodded along, processing the information.

The crinkling of paper drew everyone’s attention back to Batman, who had been flipping through the detailed break down of everything they had found about Marinette’s situation and how she was made by CADMUS.

“Uh,” Red Robin nervously spoke up. “What’s up, Batman?”

“Your genetic donors...” Batman breathed, getting a wink and finger guns from Marinette.

“Yup. Isn’t that just the most fucked up thing you’ve ever seen? They were clearly trying to make someone who could destroy the world.”

“That makes me nervous,” Nightwing admitted, getting up and going to get a look at the papers himself. “It can’t be that ba—“

When even Nightwing was left agape, everyone else who wasn’t in on it found themselves squirming.

“Just tell the rest of us, already!” Robin demanded after the silence stretched just a bit too long.

“The unknowing genetic donors that CADMUS used to make me,” Marinette spoke up, still with her legs up on the table. “Are a very mad-scientist’s-wet-dream combination of Lex Luthor, Bruce Wayne, and Wonder Woman.”

“We don’t even know why they added Bruce Wayne’s DNA,” Adrien admitted. “Although our scientist friend thinks it’s because of physique. His hypothesis is that, in order to support the genes of Wonder Woman, they had to add male genetics that could support the production of a very high muscle mass and would lean towards easy development of a very athletic body. Lex might be evil-scientist smart, but he’s a string bean. But if he added the DNA of another multi millionaire who just so happens to maintain a ridiculously fit body without putting any obvious work into it,” Adrien shrugged. “Then maybe the clone would be able to support Wonder Woman’s genetics and that of two human donors without falling apart.”

“So I’m ‘the clone’ now, huh?” Marinette snarked, earning an exasperated eye roll from her friend.

Batman just stared at the both of them for a moment. He walked away without a word, and came back with a fresh needle and a box. He placed it on the debriefing table.

“Can I do a paternity test myself?” He asked, his voice suspiciously less gruff than normal. “I trust the both of you, but I rather be safe than sorry with something like this.”

The both of them just stared at him in confusion. They traded a glance, and finally Marinette shrugged and moved to sit in her chair properly. Her shirt was already short sleeved, so she just held her arm out so Batman could easily get a blood sample.

“Sure, why not. But do you just have Lex Luthor or Bruce Wayne’s DNA sitting around to compare, or—“ she shut up when she watched Batman take off his glove and roll his own sleeve up. Realization slowly sunk in as he asked Nightwing to take a blood sample from him.

“Holy shit,” she breathed, eyes wide. “You’re— and Luthor doesn’t know— holy shit this is even worse than I thought,” Marinette rambled, not even noticing as Red Hood moved forward and took a small blood sample from her.

Adrien put a hand over his face and just laughed for a moment hysterically. “Oh my god,” he looked over at Marinette. “You could take over the world.”

“I have the blood of Batman AND Wonder Woman on MY side,” Marinette joked back, also hysterical.

When the bat’s high tech equipment was able to come back with a positive result only a few minutes later, Marinette and Adrien had to sit on the floor and just let it all sink in. Which Batman did not at all help by immediately unmasking himself and trying to make a proper introduction.

“I wanna go beat up random thugs again,” Marinette whined, pulling at her hair. “I’ll put on a mask, whatever, but just please let me punch people. I need to punch people right now.”

#maribat #ml x dc #mlb x dc #soulmate-game #dc x miraculous #dc x mlb #bio!mom Wonder Woman #Bio!mom Diana prince #bio!dad Bruce Wayne #Bio!dad Batman #idk what this is #but it happened #and it’s something

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panic-in-the-multiverse · 2 years

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You Okay Darling?

Pairings: Tom Hiddleston x teen!reader

Imagine: Tom helping you after a fight with your parents

Warnings: language, absent parents, mention of depression and anxiety, fluff, Tom Hiddleston hugging you

A/N I have not edited this one, so sorry if the spelling or grammar is wrong. Anyway I had this one in the drafts for a while, and well I decided to post it. Hope you like it. Request/Inbox is open.

You were not your usual self. Tom had noticed it first thing in the morning when you came to set that day. Sure you weren’t always sunshine and rainbows, you had episodes of depression and anxiety that came in waves. But that was not it this time, sure he could see a the anxiety and depression but something more was up. He had made it his goal for that day to figure out what, so that he could help you out. As he hated to see you upset.

You were one of his best friends even if there was a pretty big age gap between the two of you. Tom and you had hit it of real good the first time you met. They even decided to make you and Tom be together on interviews and even the fans could feel the friendship that you shared together. You were best friends and nothing changed that. It even went as far as Tom calling you his little sister and you calling him your older brother. Even sometimes it felt like he was your father and you his daughter.

He knew about your absent parents and how they didn’t like that you hadn’t become a doctor or a lawyer or something else that gave you a lot of money. As they believed that you wouldn’t be able to make it in the acting industry. But you had, and now your parents wanted to take your money from you. You had moved out of their home about two years ago. Your parents hadn’t contacted you in those two years, and Tom had been the one to comfort you the most. He had been your rock in those two years. Tom knew how devastated you had been when they told you to never contact them again if you moved out and didn’t become something else like they had wanted you to.

Now two years later they contacted you. You had answered as you wanted to know what the had to say. Imagine your shock when they told you that they were so proud of you. How they wanted to meet up again and try to start on a new beginning with you. You on the other hand weren’t that stupid. You had three years ago been casted in a Marvel movie and now three years later you had been in three marvel movies and were currently filming the Loki series, you had also been casted in the Mandalorian, and you had recently also been casted in a lot of upcoming movies and series. Your life had been good ever since you met Tom in your first movie you made, (before Marvel).

You weren’t stupid enough to believe that they just so randomly wanted to mend things together again. It had went past a week since you got the call and today they called. Just before you came to set. Asking for money. When you had told them no, they went on and told you to never call them again (even tho it was them who called you), and that they didn’t want anything to do with you if they didn’t get the money, that they said was the one thing you owed them for feeding you and putting a roof over your head. You ended the call once the started to talk like that. You hadn’t been able to cry that morning. Instead you bottled up your feelings like you always did, and went with a fake smile to set.

It had went mostly great. The smile had faltered sometimes on the day. You had been avoiding Tom. As you knew that he knew something was up. You did not feel like crying on set either, it would ruin you makeup and the makeup artist would have to do it all over again. It had like stated before went pretty good that day except for when the last scene had been shot for the day. You had went straight to your trailer. After all you wanted to leave as quickly as possible.

Tom on the other hand had another outcome of that day planned out. He did not want to see you this upset anymore. He needed to find out what was wrong so that he could help you. So that he could comfort you. To give you whatever you needed, even if space was what you needed he would give you that. Though he would always be close enough if you were to ever call out for him to come to you.

So on that evening he went to your trailer and knocked on the door. It had startled you, being to caught up in your mind to be conscious about your surroundings.

“Y/N… you in there” his voice was as calm and comforting as it always was. Always is, and always will be. You didn’t answer, knowing you would most probably let go of that clump in your throat. The water that ran into the glass would be to much and would leak out.

He knew you were inside. After all he had followed you there. Tom had watched you all day to try and find out what was wrong. What had made you so upset. He hadn’t been able to figure out what. Obviously that’s why he was there to help you.

As he knocked once more he waited a while before he asked the very question that made the water leak out over the edge of the glass. Or in this case your eyes.

“You okay Darling?”

When Tom had heard your quiet sobs he opened the door. That you somehow forgot to lock.

At first he took in your state. You were sat in the middle of the floor, sobbing quietly as you tried to keep your tears in. On that you were failing spectacularly on. The tears was now streaming down your cheeks, and you could feel the saltiness of them on your lips.

Soon enough you felt a hand on your shoulder before two strong arms reached around you. Tom had embraced you in a hug as he too got down on the floor. By now you were a crying mess and your breathing was a little bit out of control.

“Honey, you need to slow down” and as he said those words he took your hand in his while pushing you a bit away from him. He was now looking straight into your eyes, but in your state you could not look back at him. You eyes were kind of zoned out, while you stared at the same spot on the wall behind him.

You had just barely registered what he said, but you tried to do what he said. When that didn’t working entirely as much as he had hoped for. Tom took instead your hand and pushed it towards his heart so that you could feel his heartbeat. While doing so he also started counting how he breathed.

“1..2..3..4”

It took a while but you eventually calmed down, and was breathing kind of normally. Thought out were still crying. Your head was now resting against his chest, while the two of you hugged.

After he had waited some more and your cries had stopped for the moment, he cut the silence by asking “you going to tell me what’s wrong darling”

“M-My uh… my. P-parents w-wa-wanted… take… money” you were still making half sense as you felt the aftermath from all the crying and the fact that just a few moments ago you couldn’t breath. Tom on the other hand understood what you were trying to say.

“They uh… they t-told me… they didn’t l-love me” You paused for a while before you continued. “That… that I… I am a f-failure… thattheyhateme” The last bit came out kind of rushed and Tom barely made out what you had said. He had been listening patiently for you to be done and his heart broke with you. Even though Tom knew about how your parents were towards you it didn’t mean he understood why. Why would someone’s parents want to hurt their kid mentally or physically. Because you were hurt mentally both of you knew it. To grow up and being constantly reminded by the ones who should give you love that you are a failure and that they hate you. Only to call you back when they needed money themselves. That was what had broke you, that they only called for the money and nothing else.

“you are not a failure Y/N, your parents opinions does not matter, the opinions that matter are from the ones who loves you” when he spoke you could feel the rumbling from where your head was positioned by his chest. Still calming down with the help of his steady heartbeat.

You lifted your head up so that you could look towards him as you said the next words “I.. I don’t get why you have always cared so much… why would you want to be best friend with a teenager… my parents said you are only with me… so that I would not feel alone… that you feel pity for me” at the first pause you had looked away from him and your head were once again resting on his chest.

Tom was quiet for a while as he tried to find the right words. “To begin with I love you” he hugged you just a bit tighter at those words “I care about you and I don’t pity you, I just like the company of a a teenager I met when she had her first movie, I can’t really explain why, but I do know that I will always be grateful for meeting you. I will always be your best friend so you won’t get rid of me that easily.” Their was a pause before he continued “and like I said before your parents opinion doesn’t matter, and who really cares about the age difference, I don’t, and you shouldn’t either” Those words made you hug him a bit tighter, as you could feel the tears coming back once again.

At the end of that day you had went home to Tom’s place. The two of you having a movie night with snacks. You enjoyed the comfort he gave you, and Tom was happy that he could help you. In the end he mad you promise him to block their numbers. He did not want to see you crying over the sorry excuses that would be your parents.

#mcu x reader #x reader #marvel #marvel x reader #x teen #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x teen!reader #Tom Hiddleston x reader #Tom Hiddleston x teen #x teen!reader #Hiddleston #Loki #x you

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astaroth1357 · 3 years

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Demigod MC Series: Ares

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena, Hades Pt. 2, Poseidon, Ares

Lucifer

He cannot overstate what kind of damage this mortal was able to do in their first few seconds in the Devildom...

The instant they got to their feet, they had managed to incapacitate Satan and knock down Beel. Lucifer himself tried to get between them and Diavolo but…

If he hadn’t moved his head, if he was standing just ONE INCH to the left… he wouldn’t have a head anymore. Barbatos was there to intervene, but had he not they could have probably taken out the Avatar of Pride and done critical damage to the Demon Prince himself in one strike...

Frankly, Lucifer prefers not to dwell on that moment... He's sure Ares must be proud of this one...

He pretty much treats the mortal like a live bomb afterward, if he can get away with not interacting with them at all, that’s what he’ll do.

He’s NOT scared of them... much... It’s just that they have a bullish and uncooperative attitude at best and since they know they can take any of them, they don't even consider him - Lucifer, the eldest demon brother - a threat...

But you know what the most frustrating thing is? They won't give him an inch of respect, but they'll always listen to Levi! Levi!!

Look, Lucifer knows he may not hold a rank among the Hell's army and he might not have been a major player in the Celestial/Demonic wars of the day, but he's still the strongest demons here, dammit!! 😡

Lucifer finds nothing is more embarrassing than having to ask Levi of all people to keep the mortal in line because he can't... Oh, the humiliation… He hopes they leave soon...

Mammon

At first, he thought they were scary. But in time he thought they were scary… and also pretty damn awkward.

Mammon wasn’t there when they more or less wiped out the majority of his brothers in the Conference Hall but when he finally showed up he'd never seen Lucifer look so pale… If THAT doesn't make you shit your pants, he doesn't know what will.

Naturally, he kind of toned it down on the "stupid human" stuff real quick after seeing that…

But here's the thing. After the two made a pact together, Mammon started to notice that the MC wasn't all that mean, they were just… violent?

He legitimately thought that they couldn’t stand him for a while until one day a guy on the street called him a dirtbag. The MC threw a punch right there! No questions asked, they just decked that guy!!

It was kind of touching… and messy. Very messy. Did he mention that they’re terrifying yet? 😥

As it turns out, the MC has apparently spent a lot of their life just fighting things and being asked to fight things so they're not very used to showing non-violent affection…

It took him awhile, but he realized that their way of saying, "I like you," is, "I will attack your enemies." So now all he does when his brothers tease him is say, "I'm telling MC!'' and they'll stop immediately. It's great!! 😁

Considers them to be his bodyguard when he goes out to gamble in some… shadier places. Most of the time not even the bouncers want to take on the MC, ain't nobody getting paid enough to lose that many teeth…

Leviathan

Okay, so. It's not very obvious anymore, but he USED to be on the front lines of the war against demons in the Celestial Realm. He was in charge of battle strategies, he led armies, and even now he still holds the highest rank of the royal navy!

So leave it to the kid of a war god to sniff all that out about him, huh…? They appeared to know all about his record the instant they saw him and they actually seemed to respect him for it!

For context, this mortal tells pretty much everybody to shove off but any time he’s around they call him “Admiral” or “sir” and actually pay attention to what he says! He can tell it drives Lucifer insane, but honestly? It’s a bit of an ego boost. 😌

It’s sort of cute when they come to him asking for tactical advice… They get just as into it as he does with his anime and any time he points out something that they haven't seen before they get so excited it's like they're a kid watching a magic trick. HUGE ego boost. 😏

Speaking of anime, it’s hit or miss whether or not they can watch any of it. Anything with good fight scenes (and let’s be honest, not that much talking) they’re on board for. But if the hero and the villain talk to each other for like an episode before throwing punches then the MC will just rant...

MC: “The enemy is distracted... Why aren’t they attacking yet??”

Levi: “Because the villain killed the hero’s best friend and they’re-”

MC: “They could avenge their friend right now if they ended things right here!”

Levi: “MC, we’ve been over this... That’s not how plot works.”

MC: “And now he got away!! See?? They should have killed him when they had the chance!”

Levi: “*sigh*... Let’s just play some CoD.”

Satan

The last thing he remembered when the “human” hopped out of the portal was a sharp pain to the side of the temple and Asmo wailing as he fell unconscious…

Yeeeeah, not great. And unfortunately for the mortal the Avatar of Wrath tends to hold a grudge…

For a comparatively brief moment in time, all of Satan’s considerable ire had shifted away from Lucifer and to their new housemate. They found their bed, clothes, pillows, food, and even their toothbrush cursed!

… But Ares kids must be built from some strong stuff, because half of what he employed didn’t even faze them! He even put an explosive spell on their backpack and not only did they tank the blast, it didn’t hurt them at all!! It was like they’re damn near immortal!

Annnnd they kind of are. Apparently the MC had taken a dip in the River Styx at some point before and became nigh invulnerable…

Was it maybe a little terrifying to know that they had kidnapped a nearly invincible demigod on the level of Achilles? Yes. Did that also mean that they must have had a weakness too? In theory....

Satan honestly devoted a depressing amount of time trying to uncover the “Achilles’ Heel” of his new sworn enemy… until…

The MC was walking with him and Asmo to RAD one morning when they passed by a group of lesser demons harassing a small puppy. Now Satan may be more of a cat man, but NO ONE fucks with animals while he’s around.

He was right about to go over and rip those demons a new one but the MC actually beat him to it! Apparently, the second that they realized what was happening, they launched themselves forward and started bashing the abusers' heads into a wall!

… Live by violence, forgive by violence because in that very moment Satan decided they weren’t so bad after all. He even joined in!

Oh, Asmo gave them both shit all day for the bloodstains on their uniforms and the scratches on their… everywhere, but it’s not like either of them cared. Righteous justice had been served and it was glorious!!

100% would team up with the MC in some kind of vigilante “punish-all-animal-abusers” gig. They have but to ask. 😌

Asmodeus

Oh they TERRIFIED Asmo when they first showed up! How else was he supposed to react?? They brought down his brothers like they were made of cardboard!!

Though he had to admit that the confident, battle-ready look they had about them was sexy as hell, he knew better than to go bear poking! 😣 He avoided them like plague until they finally asked him for a pact.

And then he discovered something… something very unexpected….

They're actually adorable!!!

Okay, like, not in appearance (they look like they could pile drive Cerberus for Pete’s sake!) but he discovered that they have NO CLUE how to handle physical affection. Like zero!!

The first time Asmo actually got the courage to try and hug them he expected them to toss him off, but instead they just stood there like a malfunctioning doll, all flustered and confused… It was so cute!!! 🥰

From that point on, Asmo would take every chance he could to wrap his arms around them or kiss their cheeks just to watch them try and fail to handle it. It's more fun than picking on Levi!!

It took two months for them to finally attempt any kind of reciprocation and even that was adorable! They pecked him on the forehead without thinking about it then nearly passed out from the realization. Apparently, they had never felt like kissing anyone before so he was quite honored!

The brothers know that if the MC's looking too mad to listen to Levi, they just need to call Asmo. A nigh invincible warrior becomes a LOT less scary after you’ve cuddled them into submission! 🤭

Beelzebub

Beel didn't like them one bit, at least not at the beginning. They had managed to get past him and actually attack Lucifer which was NOT a great first impression on their part...

He honestly saw them as a threat for a while, but unlike the rest of his brothers he didn’t avoid them. He just kept an eye on them.... constantly….

Look. Beel is a big guy. Stealth is not his strong suit… If he's tailing you, you're probably going to know about it because there's a six-foot something behemoth in orange following you around while pounding down bags of chips. He's not very subtle…

That being said, after following them around for a while the two finally got to talking and he realized that they didn’t want to hurt anybody or anything. They were just acting on instinct before.

After making the MC promise not to hurt any of his family, they got on much better terms. Hell, he actually got them into fangol!

Beel's sport of choice is pretty much just ultra-violent American football so the MC took a liking to it instantly! After enough begging, the coach let them try out and they got onto his team immediately.

He likes having them as a teammate! They're very good at the game, uh... even if they take it a little too seriously…

They once tried to convince his teammates to decorate the team bus with "the helmets of their fallen foes." They're REALLY into the sport… But hey, they haven't lost a game since they’ve joined. It’ll be fine!... Probably.

Belphegor

Hahaha… He’s in danger… 😥

It took one look at this mortal to make him rethink the whole, “Trick the Human” plan… Since when have humans looked like that?? They could crush his skull under their heel!!

It took all he had in him to play it cool when they first met because his internal monologue was nothing but screaming… THIS was the "human" he had to use to get him out of there?? How in the WORLD was he going to kill them?!

Admittedly, he had to think about it for a while. Belphie's a clever guy… and a demon. So who needs an honorable fight, anyway? If he can’t win one-on-one, then he’ll cheat!

He waited until the MC got the door open and didn't attempt a frontal assault… No laughter, no gloating. He just waited for them to turn their back, claws ready to dig out their heart, and then-!

MC: "Do you really want to try that?"

The MC must have had some kind of danger sense, because they didn't even have to turn around to know what Belphie was doing…

MC: "Look. I like Beel and you're his twin brother… So I'm willing to let this slide. But if you really want to try me…"

MC: *looks over their shoulder with the glare of a bona fide killer* "I won't hold back."

That was... very persuasive.

The MC brought Belphie down to the others peacefully with his tail between his legs and honestly Lucifer was more relieved that he wasn’t a bloodstain on the floor than he was mad… They could have killed him sooo easily…

They did, indeed, forgive and forget about the whole “attempted murder” thing, though Belphie was never quite able to shake off how frightening they were in that moment… He had nightmares for a while.

Thankfully, Asmo clued him in that the MC would melt into a harmless puddle of fluff if they got even the slightest bit of physical affection... Oh, the sweet payback he could dish out... It’s cuddle time. 😏

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me demigods #obey me headcanons

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yabai-korra · 3 years

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The reasons why we're getting Manorian book

There has been a lot of speculation whether SJM is going to favor us with book/novella about Manon Blackbeak and Dorian Havilliard, recently I saw some fans doubting it, so here's a list of logical reasons why it's happening.

1. It's SJM

This woman writes two 500+ pages books per year, for her it would be a piece of cake.

2. There have already been books focused on side characters

a) Chaol and Yrene - Chaol was one of the most unpopular characters before Tower of Dawn (which made me love him hehe) and she still wrote a 600+ pages long book about him, just imagine what she'd do with the most popular character (Manon) and one of the most popular ones (Dorian).

b) Nesta and Cassian - this is ship is the closest to Manorian equivalent in ACOTAR series, aka starting from a physical relationship that develops into a sentimental one. Also 6th ACOTAR book will be focused on a new characters (most probably Elain)

3. Favoritism

SJM has talked multiple times about her love for these two. When asked about her favorite TOG character, she said Aelin, but Manon was a close second place and she said that she absolutely loves writing her.

In another interview, when asked who she would go on a book tour with and a few similar questions, she answered Dorian.

Now, I haven't seen all of her interviews ever and I'm not sure how much she loves Nessian and Cahorene (seems to love Nessian a hella lot tho), but it's definite that Manorian are some of her favorite characters and it's just logical that she would write about them.

4. Unfinished story/Unresolved feelings

Ships at the end of TOG:

Rowaelin - married

Elorcan - engaged

Lysaedion - engaged

Chaorene - married with a baby on the way

Nestaq - engaged

Manorian - hug and "we'll see"

All the ships basically got engaged in the last chapter (it's not like I didn't like it hehe) and their stories, romantic-wise, were pretty much finished and they have no unresolved tension between them. Manorian on the other hand, have enough of it for all the ships lol.

KOA spoilers ahead!

Keep in mind, Manorian relationship was mostly a sexual one, and they don't quite yet have a way of communicating their feelings properly. So there is a lot of unaddressed between them, even though they obviously care a lot about each other.

The unresolved things between Manon and Dorian:

"“And if I asked you to stay?” / “I’d need a very convincing reason, I suppose.” / “Because I don’t want you to go.” - they just fucked and Dorian left for Morath later, which impacted Manon a lot but they haven't discussed it

"I even care about you." - Manon got up and left

"There is only one witch who will be my queen." - Manon doesn't know about this

Manon saved Dorian from Valg demon even when Aelin couldn't. It was the worst thing to happen to Dorian and he still bears scars from it, yet he didn't have an appropriate situation to thank Manon for it

Dorian knows that Erawan lusted after Manon, which got him pissed of course, and he didn't have a chance nor time to ask Manon about it. It might be nothing, but if I were Dorain and my girlfriend who doesn't show feelings was locked up with a crazy guy who has a thing for her, and have seen the way he treats women, I'd be concerned. Erawan was a Valg king, a tough opponent even for Manon. If he had done something to her, and he had plenty of means and opportunities and wish to do so, Manon would never openly tell anyone (maybe Asterin) about it, because it would imply opening up and being weak, which is Manon's worst fear. Again, SJM, as the Queen of Foreshadowing, wouldn't just randomly throw in the main villain having a thing for an important character, everything in her books always has a meaning and purpose.

"Would you miss me if I didn't [come back]?" - Manon didn't reply

This is how SJM described Manorian marriage: "She would be his wife, his queen. She was already his equal, his match, mirror in so many ways. And with their union, the world would know it." - and you're telling me it's not deserving of its own book? Not just that, Manon asked Dorian for marriage and they, again, just had sex, with Dorian loving the idea but deep down knowing that Manon would feel caged in a marriage. And that attitude won't just change out of the blue. It takes time and development which is something SJM writes amazingly.

With the Thirteen gone, beside Abraxos Dorian is the only creature Manon cares about.

Dorian's mortality (although as you'll see in point #6 I'm sure he's not human)

The dreaded "You could just marry each other." / "We'll see." (Thanks Yrene :)

5. Foreshadowing

Listen here, SJM IS THE QUEEN OF FORESHADOWING. She thought of a detail (Dorian's dad's name) in the first book that would matter in the last book. Of course, there are many many many more examples of that, but if we got "We'll see." then we'll fucking see it happen.

6. Unresolved things about Manon and Dorian as individual characters.

Manon and Dorian and both pretty broken at the end of KOA.

Manon lost the Thirteen, the only people she cared about. That is a huge trauma that needs to be addressed, especially with someone so reluctant to show feelings and heal like Manon.

Dorian can't be human?? He has fae abilities due to his relation to Gavin and Elena even though he's not even called a demi-fae. He possesses powers no one else does, phantom hands for example, which he didn't steal like shape-shifting. And Maeve pointed out that due to his father being possessed by Valg when Dorian was sired, it's possible he got some of the Valg abilities. (Also she said that he's stronger than Aelin) The main villain, especially written by Queen of Foreshadowing, wouldn't just let drop it there and that's it. Also not to mention Dorian's own struggle with depression and self-worth.

They have both just become rulers of their kingdoms, completely new to it. Dorian has spent a big part of KOA imagining what kind of a king he wants to be (one that will have a witch queen hehe) and it was a major point of his character. And addition to that affecting them as characters, the future of Adarlan and Witch Kingdom could make a good plotline.

7. Other TOG characters

Although pretty much all the readers would die to see Chaorene baby, Lorcan in Perranth, Aelin and Rowan ruling Terrasen, Lysandra and Adeion officially adopting Evangeline, Nesryn and Sartaq becoming Khagan and Empress of Antica, all of these don't make enough of a plot on its own. They are great side-plots.

We know all of these characters love each other and are happy together, there isn't that much to be added to their personal stories other than kids. (same way Feyre and Rhys got a baby in Nessian book) Manorian however, they haven't even kissed without it leading to sex, they hugged at the end of KOA and it was the pique of their relationship. Their relationship is merely at the beginning, whereas others have pretty much reached their ultimatum (ofc SJM can decide to add some drama with betrayal, kidnapping, pregnancy etc. but for now everyone is good and settled beside Manorian)

Not to mention the way other relationships would affect them. Chaol, Dorian's brother, and Yrene, Manon's wannabe bestie and Manorian shipper, would bring their baby to meet his/her uncle Dorian and aunt Manon, and imagine Manon with a baby lol.

SJM loves Aelin and other characters way too much not to give us an insight on them as married couples, but since her books are huge and it's her, it needs a plot with drama, addressing traumas, repressed feelings, worldbuilding, and sex, and Manorian's got all of that.

8. Abraxos

We need more Abraxos, that's just a fact.

Wow that was a long one. Anyways, in conclusion, we're getting that Manorian book. Pretty sure it's gonna a book rather than a novella (TOD was also planned as a novella but then guess what) because there is just SO MUCH possible content.

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lilblueorchid · 3 years

Photo

Thought process and easter egg on the Digimon Anniversary Illustration!

Hello everyone, today I feel like explaining some stuff over my Digimon Illustration, mostly why I drew thing this way or point out some little details and easter eggs you might have missed. ;)

Click on read more if you want a LENGTHLY explanation with a lot of rambling from me, or if not you can just enjoy the process gif. <3

The Digimon illustration was a special one for me for different reasons. Firstly, obviously, Digimon! It was a show I grew up with, and I find it quite fitting that after a tough year of graduation movie under a pandemic, in which I really experienced the pain of growing up, I ended up finding back Digimon.

Secondly, as a child, I remember spending HOURS looking for fanarts online! I would save all the ones I found pretty and keep them preciously, i still have the folders actually haha. While pursuing art, I always had in mind thatI wanted one day to make a fanart my child self would have gone crazy over! And, i think I achieved that with that one haha.

Anyway LET’S START! Shall we?

First off : the illustration process

When I do an illustration I always do a quick draft first, and most of the time, in colors. I think I’m more of a “color” person than a “line” person, I tend to need to see colors quickly in order to see if it’s ok.

For this one, I’ve always had in mind it would be a double illustration, with the older Tai’s silhouette acting as a frame for the children illustration. It was a bit tricky, I had to make the children illustration fit nicely into his silhouette, it was hassle around the neck area, that’s why I made little Taichi stand up haha. Also used Mimi’s hat to balance the picture : the bottom part is very heavy and there’s only sky in the upper part, adding the hat helps making it more balanced.

The character were the longest and the most challenging part by far. As you can see I had 3 different steps : super rough, they’re almost like stickmen and smiley face, a more detailled one in which I figure out their actual pose and anatomy, then a last one in which I fix some proportion, add details and clean. Fun fact I don’t clean over a new layer... i just erase the unwanted part of my sketch. :’D

I did a quick pass over the BG after that, then I colored the characters in flat colors before rendering them. It was a back and forth between the BG and the characters to make sure everything was working together nicely.

Now was the time to render the BG, I did the tramway first, the flower field after. Fun fact, I did my flower field study in order to know how to approach the flowers in this illustration! If your have the time, i totally recommend finding a photograph close to the kind of BG you wanna do, and make a study of it so you can try your hand at it first and go into your own BG later with an idea of how to approach this.

Adjust colors, add flower petals and butterflies and emotional text, slap over a paper texture, and THERE. You have it! On to the next part now...

The meaningful details and easter eggs

Be aware there will be spoilers for Digimon Adventure 01 (but I assume you already know it), but also for Digimon Adventure : Last evolution Kizuna, which is the conclusion of the first serie. So read at your own risk!

The tramway is obviously a reference to the end of Digimon Adventure 01. The kids used it to go back to their world, so It was their goodbye to their Digimon at this moment. In Kizuna, Tai and Matt find the tramway trapped in crystal in Menoa’s fake memory world. Hinting that had they been caught by her, their memories would have brought them back here.

Tailmon has Kari’s whistle! At the end of Digimon Adventure 01, Kari gives it to her as a memento.

When I drew Sora, I had in mind how she was in Kizuna, very stressed out by her mom’s expectation, which led her to neglect Piyomon. She realized it too late, and after that she refused to fight because she wanted to keep Piyomon with her as long as possible. Tragically, she was the first one to lose her Digimon. Here I tried to convey a softness and a kind of “I won’t forget to appreciate you” vibe in the way she holds Piyomon’s hand. As for Mimi and Palmon, in Digimon adventure 01 Palmon was very emotionally affected by Mimi’s departure, so, a hug was fitting. :’)

The screens on the Tramway display DA for Digimon Adventure, and also 01.08.1999 which is the date of the children’s journey’s beginning. :)

The little drawings also show the 8 crests.

There are butterflies flying over the illustration, it’s a reference to Butter-fly, the first Digimon opening, by the late Koji Wada.

"I'll become a happy butterfly, and ride on the glittering wind, I'll come and see you soon. “

Now, let’s the see the counterpart of the illustration. The one with the grown up Tai from Kizuna.

I made him wear the hoodie he had in his very last adventure with Agumon.... but truthfully the reason is that I think hoodies are cool lol. And the hood’s volume gave me more space in the silhouette, which made it easier for me to do the other illustration inside.

You don’t see it clearly, but he is holding his Digivice, albeit the darkened version once his partner bond with Agumon is broken. The Tai in this illustration has already lost Agumon. (Yes it was painful for me to go fetch the screenshots)

He is also holding his dear signature google he used to wear as a child. Fun fact, I rewatched the older movies, and as a kid he even used to sleep with it, how cute haha.

Also yes, the crest of Courage over his hand, which is his own. I’m so dumb I realize I should have made the time counter from the movie instead of the crest for a maximum emotional hurt impact.

And the quote is from one of the trailer for Kizuna, I think.....................

But then you go : Oh that illustration is so depressing then! Well. Yes. But no. but yes. But not really.

One of my favorite shot of the movie is this one : this is after Tai and Agumon learn their time together is limited. Agumon asks him if they will have to go separate ways once Tai is all grown up. Tai doesn’t answer, and takes him to eat something instead, as Agumon was hungry. In this shot Agumon eats to his heart content next to Tai, who’s not eating at all and just watches him fondly. I love that the framing doesnt show agumon. It’s a foreshadowing of their unavoidable separation.

At the very end of the movie, Tai write in his thesis about Human and Digimon’s relationship that Agumon was like a part of himself.

In a way, Agumon symbolizes childhood, the carefree days we would spend as a kid, with our big dreams and hopes. When you grow up, you tend to forget those simple emotions because you get swallowed into the stress of studies, figuring out your carreer, your life path. Just like us, Tai forgot this part of himself. In the madness of growing up, he lost Agumon.

However, it’s not the end. He will pick himself back up. He will move forward in life despite his worries and incertainities, and he will find himself again. Therefore, he will find Agumon again. The kids in the illustration are waving goodbye, but it’s not goodbye, it’s a see you later. In the meantime, Tai is holding on to these precious memories, until they meet again.

#Digimon #Digimon adventure #Yagami Taichi #Digimon adventure : last evolution kizuna #illustration process #kinda analysis #listen im actually writing this for myself #I spend 4 days on that illu with a lot of feels and I need to write them down #This is basically what my close friends have to endure each time I get an obsession

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becomingbts · 3 years

Text

Time heals (sometimes) - 1

Summary: 6 years ago, (Y/N) thought that she was finally taking her life into her hands, leaving behind a toxic and abusive relationship with a man who taught her she’d never be worthy of love. However, it became hard to ignore his words when she met her seven soulmates who rejected her without even giving her a chance to prove herself. It took (Y/N) 3 years to realize that it wouldn’t be her end. She would live on to prove them all wrong; she would become what they all thought she wasn’t: someone worthy of love. And as she stands proudly on the stage, under the burning spotlights and the applause and the cries of the delirious crowd, she feels alive. Alive, just like the bond she believed to be broken.

Pairings: Y/N x OT7

GENRE: Soulmate AU!, Idol Y/NAU!, semi social-media AU!, ANGST (mainly), fluff, romance, maybe smut in the series.

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Warnings: The series is going to be heavy with a lot of personal experiences mixed into the fiction, so this is going to be kind of therapeutic for me. Please, consider not reading the series if you are not comfortable with: abandonment issues, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, self-harm (not descriptive and only part of MC’s past), suicide thoughts (in the past), toxic behavior, toxic and abusive relationship (in the past), depreciating self-talk and low self-esteem, a lot of curse, physical and mental pain, near death experience situation (in the past), and maybe smut scenes (happy ending though, but it will probably be quite the ride).

NOTE: So hello everyone, welcome to Time Heals (sometimes). Thank you so, so much for the warm welcoming, it has been my first time getting so many asks, I was honestly overjoyed. I still don’t really know what to call this part; is it a teaser? A note? A full chapter? I believe we’ll get some snapshot of memories like this one throughout the series because there is going to be a lot to unpack on both sides. I think it will be a chapter nevertheless because I have to establish some kind of order as to which parts should be read first, and I think this one is extremely important.

Thank you for reading,

-Dolly

Profiles #2 - here - part 2

Her scream pierced through the air while cries broke in the frenzied arena while a single blond-haired man froze, emptily staring at the stage. It felt like his senses heightened; his skin was shuddering, his eyes were frantically searching for one specific figure while his voice was lost in his throat. The screams resonating in the stadium would have been too loud for his voice to be heard anyway.

Jimin knew he shouldn’t be there.

Namjoon had told them more than once that none of them should try to go to one of (Y/N)’s events. It could be dangerous and they could be overwhelmed; anything could happen to them and they would still remain a nobody who fainted in the howling crowd. Would they want to take this risk? No.

So, Jimin would have had to admit that going to her very first concert in Seoul since the pandemic sounded like a very, very, very bad idea. And to be honest, it still didn’t seem to be a bright idea now that he was actually there.

But he still went because he needed to see her for himself; to see how she was. He had so many things he dreamed about asking her. Are you okay? Are you sleeping well? Did you eat before coming to the arena? Are you nervous? Do you... remember me?

Maybe he was torturing himself. He kept on watching her lives, following her on all social media, always made sure to leave a sweet comment, and never miss any of her new updates... Maybe he even had a folder of pictures of her on his phone but he’d never admit it to any of his mates. Taehyung would probably take his phone away from him and delete everything and Jimin couldn’t let that happen.

He felt like it was cheating. Don’t take him wrong though. When he thought that, he was not really thinking about the boys. They did collectively agree not to follow her activities as an artist but it was getting harder and harder with how popular she got anyway. Moon was everywhere. In commercials, on the radio, her songs were on the TV… Even if she was known for refusing most of the promotional contracts that were offered to her, her image was still constantly in the media despite her avoidance of it. Ironic, but the media were trying their best to find anything about her, be it positive or negative. One day she was seen on her bike, the next, she was in a coffee shop, and it kept on going on, overstepping on her privacy as if it was just a meaningless word.

The lockdown had admittedly played a major part in Jimin’s obsession. Being in their apartment meant quickly running out of activities, and his job as a dance teacher was not really filling his free time (a lot of his classes were also canceled). It was also during that time that (Y/N) truly blew up as an independent artist. Advertisement on YouTube started being around her channel and her music, the recommendations he kept on seeing were about also her… Jimin’s resolve honestly broke easily. It was hard not to be curious about his lost soulmate even though he didn’t feel like he had the right to be hurting.

Anyway, to come back to his main point, if Jimin felt like he was cheating; it was mostly for her. After all, (Y/N) had no means of letting the curiosity get the best of her, to know what they were doing; to simply see or contact them. He had, at first, not really thought about that. Watching her content seemed a very innocent thing to do in his opinion; billions of people were watching her content, why should he prevent himself from doing so? Yet, Jimin could still remember one of her live she did soon after that interview she had given on this damned radio show where she had revealed who her title track ‘TIME’ was about… She had gone live the next day-Jimin had jumped on his phone because of the notification-and one fan had asked her what would she do if she knew that her ‘ex-soulmates’ (and those words left a very sour taste in Jimin’s mind) were watching her. The question had silenced a previously restless Jimin, replacing his initial excitation with dread while a lump formed itself in his throat. He had not even noticed it; he was so focused on her live and her upcoming answer that Jimin had completely missed the sound of a glass breaking in the apartment. Jimin had been home alone, so even if had indeed heard it, he probably wouldn’t have bothered to check what had happened, thinking that the wind knocked it over or something. Jimin had been so absorbed by what he had been watching that he even got surprised a few hours later when Seokjin came home and yelled at him for breaking something when he had been clearly innocent, engrossed in (Y/N)’s live (not that he could tell his soulmates about that part, but yeah). (Y/N)’s live would always be more important than some random glass breaking again in their apartment. Every object was doomed with Namjoon living here anyway.

On her side of the screen though, (Y/N) had seemed taken aback as she had read the question and had gritted her teeth gently. She had seemed to be pondering about her answer even though a lot of people in her chat were telling her to forget about the question if it made her uncomfortable (a lot were even scolding the person who asked). Yet, sighing softly, she had looked up at the screen:

“I’d appreciate it if you could refrain from asking questions on this topic. It’s not taboo but I’d rather not remember everything that comes with it. However, to answer this-hopefully-last question about it, I’d ask them to turn off my stream and to stop watching any of my content. It would only be fair after all. I’ve been denied access to their lives six years ago, why would they get a free pass into mine now?” She had not smiled nor had she seemed hurt by her own comment, yet Jimin’s heart had shattered in pieces, unable to press the cancel button.

Her voice had slowly faded into background noise while her words had been stuck in his head.

I’d ask them to turn off my stream and to stop watching any of my content.

How could Jimin ever do that? He realized that he truly should. Namjoon would even agree with you, as ironic as it sounded for Jimin. Namjoon had been one of the most adamant ones about rejecting your bond, after all. Jimin was shaking with bitterness while ‘Moon’ continued her stream peacefully with music. Jimin could only try to gulp his anger down as he remembered her crumbling features on that fateful day.

“You’re not our soulmates. This name on our arms means nothing to us. You are nothing to us if not a hindrance. Leave us alone.”

If Jimin could go back in time, he’d prevent Taehyung from spatting those words at her. Yet, he couldn’t do anything. Playing the scene over and over in his mind wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t change that she probably hated them. It wouldn’t change the song she made about them.

And worst of all, it wouldn’t change the fact that Jimin had let himself believe that their choice had been for the best, trying to console and reassure himself, even if he had already known that it was wrong. Tears were pooling up in his eyes even if none escaped as he finally caught a glimpse of her on the stage. Suddenly brought back to reality after his subconscious memory trip, Jimin finally connected back to the world, looking around while he was still frozen on his spot. People were still screaming around him and he wondered if he looked like an intruder. Because, after all, wasn’t that what he exactly was? She said it herself that she didn’t wish for them to watch her; so what was he doing here?

Jimin couldn’t help but stare; she looked ethereal, dressed like a queen in the middle of a sold-out arena. People were screaming her name as she yelled her infamous ‘hi people’. It was an opening sentence that Jimin heard way too many times in her vlogs and suddenly hearing it in real life seemed surreal.

Jimin could only watch in awe, entranced with her everything.

Screw the boys and what they would think once he’d be back from her concert.

He had been the one to find her six years ago anyway. He had been the one to bring her to their home six years ago, hoping for the boys to change their mind once they’d meet her.

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Uploaded : 09/04/2021

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echo-of-sounds · 3 years

Text

lazy start, intense finish (pt.2 in the 'your first creampie' series)

-Aizawa x f!reader-

smut drabble of aizawa giving you your first creampie

I’m posting this using my phone’s hotspot because I just really wanted to get this out today. Nothing’s really loading. I picked a gif at random. If the format is a little wonky, I apologize. I’ll fix it later.

Warnings: nothing serious, just a little deepthroating/gagging

At the commercial break, you lowered the volume for Shouta sleeping on your stomach. He sighed and nuzzled into you. His hands were burrowed inside your sweatshirt for warmth, resting on your sides. Not that he needed the extra warmth. His body was nothing but a radiator, keeping yours pleasantly cozy in the cool room.

He remained motionless for another thirty minutes until his chest rumbled a swear.

“You alright?”

He groaned, turning his head. Through the thick, black mess, you saw his eyes straining at the Tv. At least they seemed less red than an hour and a half ago. Hair stuck to his mouth. You gently brushed the strands out of his face, carefully combing through them.

A low hum sounded at your grooming. Your fingers graced behind his ear, down his jaw, skimming the defined bone and bristles. It’s grown a little longer than usual, shading in the sparse five o’clock with attractive, full stubble.

He grumbled in a thick voice, “I need to shave it soon.”

“I like it like this.”

“It’s annoying like this.” He shifted on top of you, removing his hands from your sweatshirt. You moved too, bending your left leg, wedged amid him and the couch’s back, to relieve your stiff knee. He faced your thigh and pressed his lips to it. The peck formed into a long kiss, dragging the thin skin into his mouth.

The heated weight between your legs allowed you to lazily hump, working up wetness, not from his mouth. His lower chest rocked with you. Fingertips depressed into your thigh. Hair mingled around your playing fingers, keeping you coupled as he sucked, stressing the skin with teeth and lips.

You sighed for him. He didn’t budge. You wiggled, cooing, “Shouta, come here.”

Your voice corralled him; he lifted, crawled up to your mouth. Heft settled on top, happily trapping you for a kiss. Swelling swayed against you, encouraging your hips to return the favor. His tongue crudely sunk into your mouth. It drew moans and heavy breaths from both of you, hastening your grinding.

The kisses trailed to your jaw, then neck once you opened it, where his teeth decided to taste. You fondled him through his sweatpants. The material didn’t stifle his girth and heat. And your groping spurred his swaying into thrusting, obviously wanting something to thrust into.

You were about to speak when he bit your neck, shaping your words into a gasp. His jaw didn’t release, very clearly set on leaving you swollen. You squeezed his cock. That only made his hips jerk. You squeezed his sleeve next, panting, “Let’s go- Fuck. Let’s go to bed.”

Shouta heaved himself and you up. The cuddly start to your night-in quickly disappeared as he muscled you to the bedroom. His tongue left your mouth once when he slipped his shirt off. Your palms flushed over his abdomen, feeling up the grooves and hair, smoothing along his pecs, kindling from his radiator of a chest.

“God, you’re so fucking hot.”

“Then suck me off,” he gruffed, gripping your hair to keep your mouth against his for an airless ten seconds before shoving you to the bed. He dropped his pants and boxers, then joined. But he laid beside you, waiting for you to enact what he said.

And you did. Ready and willing, you hopped between his legs, kissing his erection. Veins in his foreskin slicked with your tongue, from his raphe to his frenulum. The little ridge of skin roused him, physically and audibly. A blush tainted his cheeks. Gorgeous sighs charmed your ears. You lapped slowly, softly, and sweetly at the reactive zone, soaking up his sounds, also soaking your panties.

“You look so handsome right now,” you praised. “Not that you don’t look handsome other times.”

Holding him steady, you pressed a lewd kiss to his head, and you couldn’t help but nip his corona. Then you took him in your mouth, quickly sinking, gradually rising, lightly dragging your teeth along him.

His head dropped to the pillows. Black hair frayed out, exposing pale collarbones and marred skin. His abs expanded in lengthy, indulged breaths. As your fingers trailed up the muscles, he snagged your hair, forcing you lower. Another hand joined. Hips snapped up. Each loud, deep prod choked you. Tears fell when he held you down, flattening your nose into his hair, stationing his dick thick and solid in your throat.

“Fuck,” he groaned.

Saliva dribbled. Heat pooled in your neck. A crude gag came with his grinding, making him yank you off. Dark eyes watched spit seep past your lips, drooling to him. They kept yours in focus, his head tapping your lips. “Clean it.”

You nursed on him again, sucking up all his precum and your spit. After a gentle thumb wiped the tears away, his palm rested on your cheek, calmly guiding your head. You hummed.

The switch from dominant to mellow wasn’t new, but it always sparked an affectionate glow in your stomach. The glare, from arousal, not anger, was always pleasing. And the intensity, you’ve seen many a time. Yet something about the tilt of his eyebrows and the pink of his ears goaded an unfamiliar experience, a new need.

Wetly, lust-filled, you spoke around his glans, tasting the salt you wanted to feel inside, “Cum in me.”

“What?”

“Cum in me.” You climbed up, parked on his waist, and removed your sweatshirt. You cupped his cheeks, kissing him with all the potency this need inflamed. “I’m on birth control. It’ll be okay. I want to feel what it’s like.”

“No one’s ever cum in you?”

You stroked his jaw. “No. It’s never come up. I want it to be with you.”

“You sure?”

“Yes,” you whined before kissing him, smiling at the tongue muscling in.

Rough fingers coasted down your back and into your underwear. They kneaded your ass, spreading and pressing you while you moved with his hands, lightly riding his naked chest. The foreplay was becoming a bit too much, evident in the wet material pressing between you.

The fingers skimmed to your front and easily slipped in. “You’re this wet just from thinking about-”

“Yes,” you gasped, appreciating how his palm graded your clit. You stilled his wrist to grind down. “Sho, I’m gonna- Fuck.”

“How am I supposed to cum in you if you get worn out before I’m even inside you?” His stupid, rugged, lovely smirk taunted you.

Before you could respond, you were whipped to the mattress and your panties were tugged off. Shouta nestled between your thighs, immersing himself balls deep without any pushback or preparation. Knowing how this was going to end livened your noises and heightened your skin. Coarse hair, fevered skin, sultry breaths, digging fingers, lips, teeth, nails; all fueled the fire.

With a bite to your already bitten-up neck, the thrusts started solid. His head brushed straight into your front wall over and over and over again. Your nails made a home in his back, scratching, thanking him for his beautiful dick.

Shouta pushed up to his hands, increasing the strength behind the thrusts. You grasped at his biceps and rose, needing his mouth. You got what you wanted; sloppy, saliva, tongue-filled kisses and deep thrusts to curl your toes. Your eyes fluttered closed and head lolled back. Refusing to break, the kiss followed with his added grunts, amorous sounds he barely shared.

You tried speaking, voicing how amazing he always made you feel, your love, close you were, how so fucking high you felt. But nothing escaped your connected mouths except saliva. Instead, you stroked your clit. The width inside was leading you straight to orgasm.

Yet, rather fiercely, your hand was stopped.

“Sho, I-”

“Tonight, you cum from me,” he growled in your ear. He hooked both your knees, leaned forward, and continued his unabashed rutting, flattening you to the bed, completely caging you under him and the weight bearing down and into you.

He withdrew till only his head remained then bucked, slapping his balls against you, using the bed’s bounce to repeat repeatedly, jarring your hips and legs. His thrusts reached your depths. Pleasure drowned any twinge of pain out. You weakly clawed at his shoulder blades, losing energy.

“Cum.”

You whined his name.

“Now.” Teeth, once again, found your sore neck. Hair flared over your face, lending more building heat. “Cum, now.”

Arousal dripped from the disgustingly vulgar sounds between you. Your muscles couldn’t straighten under his control. You fussed and pawed.

“Fucking cum,” Sho gnarled. The guttural demand rolled your head back, driving home what he wanted, clenching muscles and limbs around him. Water formed from squeezing your eyes too hard. Skin gave under your nails.

All the joyous bliss almost turned painful with his nonstop thrusting. Because of the position, your legs couldn’t wrap his waist. But they still tried, needing him to stay inside. You felt down his sides and grappled at the sweat-coated skin. “Shouta, please- Fuck! Please.”

“I’m fucking-” His own huffing cut him off, struggling to even out. Thick groans melted in your ear. His thighs, while railroading through, trembled, humping, seeking.

“Cum in me. I want it.”

The thrust slowed, but the weight behind them didn’t lessen. He pressed into your neck.

“God, Sho, just cum in me.”

Each ball slap lingered longer and longer.

“Please,” you all but pleaded.

Swearing and growling your name, he sunk one last time, grinding against you, trying to push just a little deeper as you finally felt cum inside. It was new, different, and so, so warm. Hearty groans rumbled his chest. He dropped your legs, giving you the chance to wrap around him, embracing tight, and refusing to let him pull out.

Shouta’s labored breathing gradually calmed. Though it didn’t ease the heat of your bodies. And neither of you spoke, choosing to just lay and experience the feeling together.

#aizawa shouta #aizawa x reader #aizawa smut #aizawa imagine #bnha x reader #bnha imagines #bnha smut #bnha

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tomatograter · 4 years

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New to the fandom, Could you explain June? 💯 Love and support her. But homestuck 2 doesn't have her and I'm just confused?

June Egbert precedes the concept of homestuck^2! I’ve seen a lot of people be confused about this because they weren’t active on the fandom at the time the epilogues dropped, when reading her as a trans woman got a lot of discussion going and eventually lead to multiple confirmations.

So here’s an attempt at contextualization:

Throughout Homestuck, a few key ideas about Egbert’s identity and motivation to push forward with her hero’s journey are dropped like breadcrumbs. She’s meant to play the default straight-man protagonist. Her defining traits are ridiculously… generic, when compared to how all the other kids present themselves and stick to exaggerated bits. She’s a perfectly normal, regular suburban kid with normal, suburban issues.

She may not leave her room a whole lot. She may not have a lot of real life friends in the neighborhood. She holds a comical irritation for the concept of birthdays, even though her father is extremely supportive, and is delighted to see his son grow up nice and healthy. There’s no reason for her to be so irrationally upset at cakes and gifts, and that’s what makes the setup funny! June doesn’t even know why she’s annoyed with half of the things that annoy her, what the heck.

But under all that playing around there is a sense that her life is so normal, so blasé, so unexciting and limiting and hollow and fake that she’d give anything to not be herself, even if only for ten minutes. This goes way, way back. It’s why June needs SBURB to happen.

June lives as though her life hasn’t started yet. She’s stuck in the Tutorial stage. I would argue while most kids (and trolls) play SBURB to escape a shitty environment or the end of the world as they know it, June plays for a simpler reason: She needs to escape herself, and she needs to do it before it is too late.

Being thirteen means crossing the homeric abyss between being a child with no care for the world sporting a generic hand-me-down identity and becoming a Teen (capital T) who needs to figure out how to cope with atrocious bodily changes while building the adult they’re meant to be AND deciding what the fuck they want out of life, and how they’re going to work to get it, forever and ever.

When you’re trans, and you don’t yet know you’re trans (or that this is a thing you’re even ALLOWED to be) the above feels a lot like serving a life sentence for an intangible crime.

You know what you’re supposed to do. You’ve seen it on tv, you’ve heard it from your dad, you know what are the normal trials and tribulations. You know you'll grow a few pimples and stubble and you'll need to learn how to shave, obviously, because it's basically a tradition in your family, and no one is really happy to be a teen. You know at some point you'll find a nice girl and you'll grow a hat out of your skull and then you will have to pay taxes and maybe you will have a baby daughter? You'd like it to be a daughter for no particular reason. And when you get a daughter you're going to name her Casey and she's going to be adorable and this is something you've dedicated a lot of thought to. Maybe its because you thought Nic Cage looked really cool with those long flowing locks in con air, the movie who featured a trans woman as a minor character for a few minutes (and she gets quite a bit of compliments, regardless of how the movie has aged), and he had a really exciting life, but goddamn did he love his daughter. There is no purer love than the bond between a father and his daughter.

This absolutely has nothing to do with your father and you, or how you hold no excitement for becoming an adult man, or how your father's excitement for you becoming an adult man in your stead feels a little stifling.

But i digress.

June spends her time on SBURB mostly hassling karkat, and readily following the instructions of zany, dangerous, COOL girls that seem to know what they're doing. June lets Terezi lead her to certain death without blinking. June lets Vriska dress her up as soon as opportunity presents itself. June thinks its really funny to trick this troll Who Types Really Oddly into believing she's Rose, and also into believing that she's a very silly girl. You may even say Homestuck employs a few of jokes pertaining to how her name looks like EGG !

June has a ball playing this game until it starts to get shitty. She's never able to mend her relationship with her dad, as he's one of the first causalities. She has to spend a lot of time waiting around with jade on a ship until things get cool and exciting again, but she never stops growing during those three years. Its fine, though, because there's always more things to be done and more people to fight.

Until there aren't, and they make a new earth, and while everyone cheers and claps for the birth of a new planet June realizes all her excuses are over. Her friends begin to grow up. Rose gets married. Jade is living her best life. Dave has a not-boyfriend glued to his hip. Jane has a job. Jake is on TV for some reason. June doesn't want to leave home. June's birthday is around the corner again. Here come all the congratulations for becoming a strong lad for yet another year! Vriska is gone. Terezi is gone. SBURB is over. Wacky hijinks have been swapped for real-ass, boring-ass Regular life. We watch her unsuccessfully chase after the glory of days gone by when Rose presents her the possibility of going back into the game, when things were cool and mattered, or her flimsy decision to settle down with a nice girl she hasn’t really made an effort to know and become a father and be absolutely miserable for four decades as she asserts nothing is real, not anymore, and this is just how it is.

Depersonalization, depression and general apathy towards the world are all pronounced aspects of dysphoria that seem like unrelated incidents for someone who hasn't came out yet. June's trainwreck of a life post-game, specially her feeling of hollowness and chasing after anything that could fill it struck a chord with trans readers who left the epilogues to read HS again and discovered this has always sort of been here. June being a trans woman who doesn't have the proper vocabulary to express she is a trans woman makes a lot of earlier bits from the comic click into place, now in a broader context. We settled in the name "June" because it's what she imagines Vriska is calling her at some point, amid laughs, but even that was discussed for a lengthy period last year. What would she want to be called, what are possible tags for this, etc. But it was mostly for fun and games, because the prospect of the protagonist of a 10 year old beloved cult series being ACTUALLY confirmed as a trans woman just wasn't something that was done.

Until word got around to Andrew Hussie and he was reportedly so pleased with this interpretation of events he’d be making references to it, and some time later, a box of toblerones was left in a cave as a gift for fans to find. The first person to find a toblerone thought it would be funny to dedicate it to June, because now she was an ongoing reference that was fun to make. Instead of it ending there, Hussie logs on twitter for the first time in a long while to say 'Oh yeah, i'll make it happen' and that's when the whole thing exploded. I have a post detailing this made a year ago (with pictures!) so i won't keep you here.

In the year since, June has been vaguely alluded to in Pesterquest (in jade's end card, she's having her nails painted by rose.) Has been widely adopted by the community, those making their own fanventures and continuations, and the team behind Homestuck^2. In every way that matters, she's already thriving within the community that brought her to light a year ago. But her coming out in canon is something that will take time and a proper narrative arc to happen, one that is still being set up. We know it'll come eventually, the only question is “how”.

Not that the wind waits for anyone.

#meta #june egbert #homestuck #homestuck 2

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