#i felt like he was just showing off but with really basic terms and i love (in a coworker way) this guy but sometime he drives me crazy.
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Careful - Chapter Two
(Dad)Spencer Reid x (Mom)Fem!Reader
Chapter Two: Liar
Why should I deny what's all at once, so crystal clear?
Summary:
Spencer is eager to talk to you - to find out if your son is actually his. But there are more important matters at hand, like the fact that you might be the next target of a serial killer who is actively stalking single mothers.
The two of you get locked in a battle of wills when you stubbornly refuse his protection and Spencer remains determined to keep you safe.
Dad!Spencer Reid x Mom!Fem!Reader. Exes to Lovers. Angst and Smut.
Word Count: 8,900
Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link | Series Masterlist
Detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.
Warnings: again, general warnings for a Criminal Minds episode - mentions of killing/murder, mentions of the reader being a target for a killer; mentions of the reader buying and using a vibrator (does not take place during the fic, more so mentioned as the reality of the ‘sex life’ of a single mom); the reader and Spencer parted on very bad terms (but the details of the situation are not yet revealed); the reader is very angry towards Spencer; the reader and Spencer argue; the reader is in denial that she is the target of a killer; there is some mention of Sebastian having similar hair to Spencer - but I don’t want that to describe or exclude the reader’s race because in the next chapter, there is a mention of Sebastian having the reader’s skin tone; mention of the reader ‘shoving’ Spencer out of anger (not hard enough to cause harm); mention of the reader owning a gun (registered with gun training) as a form of self defense; mention of the reader character celebrating a birthday - but there is no mentions of specific dates or months when the fic is set, so you can easily imagine that this takes place around your birthday (aside from mentions of holidays or seasonal weather); mentions of JJ x Will; JJ talks about her trauma regarding dogs after being attacked in 2x15; this ends in another flashback, this time including flashback sex (smut); Spencer cuts off foreplay to give the reader a birthday present - mentions of heated kissing and some groping; Spencer calls the reader ‘Princess’ (not during sex - in the context of ‘I am here to serve you like royalty’); the smut basically consists of Spencer eating the reader out. And I think that’s it for this chapter.
A/N: Okay so something I did not intend to happen - a lot of this chapter is from JJ's perspective. It just naturally started happening while I was writing it, and it was really interesting to me to write about Spencer and the reader's relationship through her eyes (especially to keep the conflict between them vague to the audience, because JJ doesn't know the details of what happened), and it's not something I did intentionally, but I really loved how it shaped the chapter, so I kept it in. Also, I really wanted to include a lot of JJ x Spencer friendship and comfort moments in the fic because (as a lot of people in the fandom have discussed) - the writers love to have the characters say that JJ and Spencer are best friends, but they don't often show it. They just show a lot of conflict between them. So I wanted to show the potential of their friendship. And I had a lot of fun exploring that. So - I hope you guys enjoy the second chapter, and definitely hope to see you come back for chapter three!!!
...
When you heard someone knock on your door, you thought it was a delivery.
You had ordered Sebastian some new educational coloring books, and some new CDs with Mozart concertos to fall asleep to, because he was getting bored of his current ones. You often felt like you couldn’t keep up with him - Sebastian was so damn smart, and you always tried to provide him with the best resources to learn. Even if he was getting to a point where he was asking for high school level chemistry text books and actually seemed to understand the material in them and you were confused about how he could comprehend any of it.
The package also could have been the new vibrator you had ordered. You weren’t sure if that package was small enough to be left in the mailbox or not. You had to roll your eyes when you thought about how pathetic your sex life had been since having Sebastian. But you couldn’t risk bringing random men through the house just for sex when you had Seb around. So battery power and smut novels, it was.
“Sorry!”
You called out, hoping the delivery person would wait, as you raced to get to the door. You hoped they wouldn’t just slip one of those ‘failed to deliver’ notes into your door handle and force you to run an extra errand with a kid under your arm. You tripped over a toy truck and cursed yourself for procrastinating cleaning up (again).
“Sorry, I almost didn’t hear you. I was-”
‘I was in my office, in the back of the house.’
The sentence died off on your tongue when you finally fumbled the door open - your mouth going numb from shock when you saw him.
Spencer Reid.
The father of your child, the man you had once loved.
Your heart raced inside your chest, your body so overwhelmed so quickly that you couldn’t even decide on an emotion.
Happiness. Joy. Lust. Longing. Sadness. Relief.
Shock.
You lingered on shock for a while as you stared at him, your eyes locked on the sight of him - wondering what the hell he was doing standing on your porch. How did he know where you lived? Why was he here?
Was he here because of Sebastian? Was he angry? He had to be angry that you hadn’t told him about Sebastian for all of these years. He had to be angry that you had given birth to his child and not told him about it.
You flickered back to lust for a moment as your eyes traced over him.
He looked good.
Somehow, he had grown up so much in just four years. He had gone from a gangly, boyish man to a full blown man. But he was somehow still so much the same. His hair had grown out a lot since you had last seen him - instead of the neatly combed, short cut you had last seen him with, it was downright wild. The chocolate brown locks were sprawling out into the thick curls that you had come to see sprouting from your own son’s head. It wasn’t a look that you were used to on Spencer, but it looked damn good on him.
He was wearing his usual leather messenger bag - probably the exact same one from years ago. And he clearly had the same dress sense, but these clothes in particular made you want to jump his bones. A lavender cardigan that complimented his skin tone so well - and his usual button up shirt and tie, along with his usual gray slacks.
You desperately wanted to blame the sting of attraction that you felt for him on the recent lack of male suitors in your life; the fact that you hadn’t gotten laid in a long time. But you knew it was something else, too. Your previous attraction to him - the fact that because you had slept with Spencer before, you could still feel the ghost of his hands and tongue on your body.
How did he look so good?
He made you feel like a slob in your casual ‘work from home on a random Tuesday’ Mom clothes. If it had been your choice, he definitely wouldn’t be seeing you for the first time in years while you were wearing jeans and a sweatshirt that you were sure had raspberry juice stained on it somewhere, and eyeliner that you had slopped in between traffic lights in the car that morning.
(You hated it.)
“Y/N,”
He finally broke the silence, speaking your name in that honey-sweet way.
Unfortunately, it brought you rocketing back to that night all those years ago. Your stomach dropped, and you felt like you were standing in that apartment all over again, tears in your eyes as you faced down the crashing reality that the best relationship you ever had in your life was over.
This chased out that tiny splash of lust and brought on a whole new wave of confusing emotions.
Anger. Rage. Sadness. Bitterness. More longing. Regret.
Like your brain was a spin wheel, it whirled around for a few hectic moments, and then - you landed somewhere between anger and pure rage.
And that was when you finally spoke.
“Spencer Reid.” You hissed out his name like it was pure venom, your neck aching as the blood pumped hard through your aorta.
Immediately, Spencer’s features fell from looking at you with nostalgic fondness, and fear took over his face.
“What the hell are you doing here?” You asked fiercely, this question rocketing back to the forefront of your mind.
Spencer opened his mouth, seemingly to answer this question, and the rage pumped harder in your system. You found that suddenly, you didn’t want to hear whatever it was that he had to say.
You stepped through the door, easily stepping into his personal space as you came onto the porch. Without even thinking, you gave him a hard shove in the middle of his chest as you spoke your next words - much louder than you intended.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” You screeched.
You let your emotions carry your actions before any sense of logic or common decency could kick in. It was resentment and heartache that you had locked away four years ago - and apparently, it had been aging like wine, only becoming more potent with time.
“You think that you can just magically show up in my life again after I specifically told you not to contact me?” You screamed. “Do you think that order has a fucking expiration date on it?”
You gave him another hard shove. Perhaps expecting to prompt an answer out of him, or wanting to shove him off the porch entirely and get him out of your life once again. Which of those it was, even you weren’t sure.
Spencer just looked at you with wide-eyed shock. Clearly, for once in his life, at a loss for words.
“You better have a good fucking reason for showing up here!” You screeched, your voice becoming so loud that it wore out your throat.
“Look, Y/N, I-” He stuttered out.
“Don’t say my name.” You hissed, cutting him off. “Don’t say my name like we’re friends.”
You glared at him, crossing your arms over your chest, and Spencer shoved his hands into his pockets, now finding himself utterly speechless.
He definitely was not expecting this kind of reception.
The two of you became locked in an icy staring contest, neither of you speaking. Spencer found his throat too dry, and for once, his head far too empty. You were simply too angry and too stubborn to speak in those moments.
This stalemate was only broken up when JJ walked around the corner.
“Spence, Hotch just told me that the first woman doesn’t even match the-”
“JJ!” You cried out her name happily, your entire demeanor changing when you saw her.
She grinned, completely forgetting whatever news she had to report to Reid as you practically flew off the porch and ran to meet her. JJ eagerly opened her arms to hug you, and you squeezed her with all the warmth and kindness of an old friend.
Spencer felt a pang of jealousy that he wasn’t being greeted with as much affection. He knew that the last argument between the two of you had been bad, but he didn’t know it had left such a distinct impression on you. He didn’t know it had been enough to make you hate him.
When you pulled away from JJ, you looked between her and Spencer, and then it suddenly struck you.
If Spencer wasn’t here alone, that meant this wasn’t personal. He wasn’t just here to see you over some lost love, or - maybe he didn’t know about Sebastian at all. You felt a pang of guilt twist your gut because of that.
“What - what are you guys doing here?” You asked, now entirely confused, directing the question toward JJ.
JJ looked toward Spencer, and according to his ill-concealed frown, his reunion with you had not gone well. She doubted that you would take the news that you were possibly being hunted by a killer well on top of that.
“Is it alright if we come inside?” JJ asked, her voice tentative and soft. It was the same voice she usually used with victims and their families.
“Yeah.” You said, knowing there must be something big that you were missing, and hoping that you would be filled in soon enough. “I’ll put some coffee on.”
You walked back up the few steps of the porch and breezed right past Reid. You didn’t even spare a glance in his direction as you went back in through the open front door, leaving it open for the two of them with the expectation that they would close it behind themselves.
“So - I take it things didn’t go well?” JJ whispered to Spencer as she moved up onto the porch.
“Not quite.” Spencer mumbled in return before moving into the house, waiting for her to follow.
This made JJ even more curious about what had gone down between you and Spencer all those years ago.
What could have possibly made you so cold and distant toward him?
But she couldn’t just come out and ask. They had a job to do. They were there to ensure your safety against a man who had already killed five women and orphaned five children.
JJ walked into the house and closed the door behind her. She wasn’t surprised that she nearly tripped over a plastic toy truck in the entryway. Even though your son didn’t seem to be here (it was far too quiet for a small boy to be around), this was definitely a house where a child lived.
The first space that was visible to her eye - the living room, was clearly a space that belonged to a young child. There was a large, colorful play mat underneath the coffee table, and a few toys scattered over across the floor, showing that he clearly liked to have hands on play. In the corner, there was a child-sized desk with a small chair, which seemed to be surrounded by art supplies, and advanced textbooks? Some of them opened and were dotted with bright, colorful stickers. One glance told JJ that the reading material very advanced for his age clearly belonged to him.
So he very likely was Spencer’s son.
She wasn’t sure why, but that did bring a cluster of joy through her. Likely because she knew he would be so excited to have a child of his own.
JJ couldn’t help but to notice that many of the toys were Paw Patrol themed - it was a favorite show of Henry’s, too. In the back of her mind, she wondered if your son and Henry might be friends.
“Ugh, I’m so sorry.” You huffed, rushing around with your arms half full of toys now - distracted from getting the coffee, as you had mentioned. You were clearly rushing to pick up some of the mess now that you had realized how it appeared in the eyes of your ‘guests’. “All the - stuff.”
You hesitated to say ‘toys’. Clearly, you didn’t want to bring up the subject of your son, even though the evidence of him was so visible all around. You didn’t want to give Spencer the smallest opening to start asking questions about him. It was something you wanted to avoid speaking about for as long as possible.
Spencer looked at you with a mournful look on his face as you dodged around him, purposefully avoiding eye contact while you picked up a coloring book and a handful of crayons off the couch. You still refused to look his way at all as you rushed off to stash the items away somewhere.
Clearly, he wanted to ask you more about your son, and simply ask that penultimate question: was he the father?
But now wasn’t the right time.
“It’s alright.” JJ assured you. “You can just come sit down. We really need to talk to you.”
You heaved out a sigh, defeated in your effort to clean up, and then came back from one of the other rooms. (JJ could only assume you had stashed the toys in a playroom or a closet, because much like her own home, all areas had become a domain for toys and playtime). You motioned for them to sit on the couch, and you scooted over a rocking chair from the other side of the room to sit in front of them, blocking the shut-off TV on the other side.
“So, what is it?” You asked, clearly eager and curious to know what they were doing in your home - why they had contacted you now after so many years apart.
JJ and Spencer exchanged a look, and with a gentle nod from him, JJ took the lead.
“Well, um… there’s no easy way to say this, but we believe that you might be in danger.” She told you, introducing the topic gently, while wanting to be honest and direct. “Perhaps you’ve seen it on the news? But if you haven’t… several single mothers have been killed in the area recently, and we have reason to believe that you might be the killer’s next target.”
You looked at her, entirely observant, quietly taking in her words. Your face was still and expressionless, and JJ was unsure if you were going to take this calmly and logically - if you were going to panic after you had fully absorbed the news, if you were going to cry.
After a moment of silence - you burst out laughing. Your laughter was harsh and nervous, a sound that cut through the air like the rip of a chainsaw. Clearly, it was the stark opposite of someone taking the news with tears.
“Oh my god.” You sighed, taking a breath from the non-humorous laughter. “You know that you didn’t have to make up some excuse just to come and see me, right?”
Spencer’s face curled into a deep frown. He was upset that you weren’t taking this seriously. JJ found herself in shock. Usually when people found out they were potentially on the radar of a killer, they were paranoid, afraid, questioning why.
But it was very rare to see denial.
She did take notice of the fact that you didn’t immediately ask about what kind of evidence or reasoning they had to believe that you were the killer’s next target. Perhaps if your brain let you assess that reasoning for yourself and found it to be valid, then fear would take over. And you couldn’t let that happen. So this laughter, this posturing and not taking things seriously - it was an unconscious way to protect yourself from that fear.
But JJ could only theorize about that.
“I did miss you, JJ.” You said, very pointedly looking at her while you said it. “But you could have just sent me an email or something.”
You continued avoiding Spencer’s harsh gaze as he bored holes into the side of your face with his intense, intrusive eyes.
“Look, this is serious-” Spencer began, and you cut him off.
“Okay.” You shrugged. “Let’s say for argument’s sake that there is someone trying to kill me,”
You spoke of this lightly, the words entirely condescending on your lips, as though Spencer’s theory was entirely wild and imaginative to begin with.
JJ saw the movement in his jaw as he grinded his teeth out of the corner of her eye, and she was surprised that he let you continue.
“I have an alarm system that I set every night before I go to bed.” You informed them. “I am a proud gun owner. I have a registered revolver that I keep in a lock box beside my bed and I renew my gun training every single spring.” You told them, not seeming the least bit worried at the idea of a killer hunting you down. “If someone wants to kill me, let them try. I’m sure you guys have much better ways to spend your time than sitting around here, chatting with me when there are people out there, actually in danger. People who probably need your help.”
You said this, trying to dismiss them. And then you moved to get up from your seat, looking to escape the conversation entirely. But once again, Spencer stopped you.
“That’s it?” He fired back, entirely indignant, standing from his place on the couch.
This caused you to roll your eyes and let out a hiss, your lungs deflating like an annoyed balloon as you paused in the middle of the room.
“Yes, that’s it.” You groaned back. “Look, I know it’s your job to see problems everywhere, but-”
“It’s my job to protect people.” Spencer replied, cutting you off. “And-”
“Funny!” You scoffed, your voice escalating in volume. It had turned into a full-blown argument now - you were entirely uncaring that JJ was there to witness it; Spencer was locked in your sight like the crosshairs of a scope, and you were ready to fire. “You give a shit about ‘protecting’ me now, but what the fuck happened four years ago?”
You glared harshly at Spencer, and he locked his jaw, staring right back. It turned into a poisonous silence as neither of you spoke - he didn’t have a good answer for this question. And it made JJ all the more horribly curious about what had happened between the two of you. But she didn’t need to be a psychic to sense that the two of you needed some privacy.
“Do… do you mind if I go get myself a glass of water?” She asked, tentatively standing up from her place on the couch.
“I’ll get it.” You huffed out, moving to leave the room.
“It’s okay.” JJ told you. “I can get it for myself. Just point me in the right direction.”
You motioned toward the kitchen and JJ left, and she heard Spencer hiss out something about you being stubborn, which turned into another cluster of voices. The argument turned even more personal and sour now that the both of you didn’t have a witness.
When JJ made her way into the kitchen, she was happy to see that your backyard was full of toys. A pair of sliding glass doors let her peek out to see a colorful swing set and a large playhouse, and a scattering of other toys meant that your son obviously spent a lot of time outside. She smiled to herself, trying to ignore the rising, angered sound of voices from the other room as she found a glass in one of the cabinets. When she moved to the refrigerator’s water dispenser, something along the way caught her eye.
A vase of fresh flowers was sitting on the counter.
White carnations.
It made her stomach churn ominously. It felt too perfect to be a coincidence.
She abandoned her half-full glass and grabbed the vase, walking back to the living room with it.
“You just can’t accept help from anybody, can you? How can you not understand that your life is in danger here? This man is not going to stop until-” Spencer ranted on.
He was still trying to convince you to take the threat seriously - but you were still boiling with rage over the past, blind to anything else.
“I can’t accept anyone’s help?” You scoffed, crowding into his personal space to hiss the words closer to him. “That is so rich coming from someone who-”
JJ cleared her throat loudly, cutting you off.
“Spence.” She got his attention from the intense gaze he was keeping on you - anger hot in his eyes even though he was staring heavily at your lips.
When Spencer looked over and saw the vase in JJ’s hands, his entire face shifted in a blink. His expression went from tight-knit anger and annoyance to ‘shit-your-pants’ worry. The danger went from being theoretical to being very real in that moment.
“Where did these flowers come from?” Spencer asked.
“What?” You gaped, so entirely confused.
“Where did you get the flowers?” He asked, rephrasing the question, his tone more urgent and demanding now.
“Why does that matter?” You replied, exasperated. You didn’t see how it was at all relevant.
“All of the women who were killed received these exact same kind of flowers within days of their death.” JJ told you. “Do you have any idea who sent them?”
“I thought my mother did.” You shrugged. “There was no name on the card. It just said ‘Happy Birthday’. She didn’t get to see me in person for my birthday, she’s traveling right now. She’s one of the only people who would send me flowers for my birthday.”
“Yes, but your mother knows that your favorite flowers are lavender and baby’s breath. Why would she send these?” Spencer replied.
Naturally, he remembered your favorite flowers.
You couldn’t get stuck on that, though. Instead, you pondered the question he posed.
Why would your mother send you white carnations without even signing the card?
It wasn’t something you had thought about. At the time, you had just thought it was considerate, and sweet. When you had called her to thank her for the flowers, you had gotten her voicemail. You had left her a message thanking her. She was away on a singles cruise with shoddy reception and she hadn’t gotten back to you yet.
“They’re just flowers.” You said, letting out another nervous chuckle - but your voice broke over this one.
Obviously the reality of things was truly starting to set in with you.
“We need to set up protective custody for you.” Spencer said, taking out his phone in order to get this done.
“No!” You snapped. “I am not having some random cops follow me around because you think I might be in danger.” You hissed angrily.
Spencer paused and stared you down, debating if he was going to go against your wishes or not, his phone still in hand.
JJ hated the look in Spencer’s eyes. That deep, bitter fear. Whatever had happened between the two of you, there was still enough care lingering there that he would fight for you no matter what. He was terrified for you. He wasn’t going to let you meet the same fate as the other victims. She knew he wasn’t going to let this go.
JJ put the vase down on the coffee table, and turned to you.
“It doesn’t have to be random cops. We can stay with you, in order to-” She started to explain, only to be disrupted by the digital ringtone of your home phone echoing through the house.
You rushed to grab the phone, and JJ heard some of the quiet conversation from you on one end.
“Yeah, okay. Yeah, I’ll be there soon. It’s no problem. Thank you so much. Yeah, twenty minutes. Bye.”
You hung up and then rushed back into the living room - and before either of them could speak further on the matter, you rushed past them. You went to the entryway, taking off your slippers to exchange them for sneakers.
“Look, guys, I would love to stay and hang out, but I have somewhere important to be.” You huffed out.
“Seriously?” Spencer replied, entirely frustrated with you. “This isn’t some tea party. We aren’t just hanging around here for fun. Call whoever that was and tell them that you’re gonna be late. Or call and cancel, or-”
“No!” You yelled back, entirely frustrated with him. “Dammit, Spencer! People have responsibilities, you know! I have responsibilities. I am an adult, I’m not some child you can talk down to. Now get the fuck out of my house so I can lock up, and get to the important things that I have to do. Things that don’t involve wasting my time talking to you.”
You said the last part so snidely, resenting that Spencer’s unexpected visit had been part of your day.
He opened his mouth to argue against this, but JJ put a gentle hand on his shoulder, nudging him toward the door. He sighed and flexed to this movement. He angrily stormed past you to leave through the front door, which he left wide open like a toddler having a tantrum.
You grabbed your keys and your purse from a side table near the door and JJ moved to leave as well. On her way along, she put a gentle hand on your shoulder, capturing your attention.
“We’ll check back in with you later, okay?” She said, using her most gentle, non-confrontational voice.
“Sure.” You easily agreed, unable to be angry with her. “But just call, or something. There’s no need to bang down my door over some stupid flowers. It’s nothing.”
She stepped through the door and you followed. As you used your keys to lock up, you added on:
“I would give you my number, but I’m sure Penelope can find it for you in five minutes flat.”
JJ chuckled at this.
“More like two and a half, I’d say.” She replied - it was a joking tone, but she did truly think this highly of Penelope’s skills.
You smiled over your shoulder at her and she nodded before she began to walk back to the car, where Spencer was already sitting in the passenger’s seat, stewing in his anger.
When she got in beside him, they watched you pull out of the driveway and drive off before either of them spoke.
“What the hell happened between the two of you?” JJ asked, the question finally unleashing from her lips.
“It’s complicated.” Spencer huffed out in reply, tired.
In order to distract himself from all of it, he was staring down at some files in his lap - some of the case files of the other murders that he had pulled out of his bag. He needed something to do to keep his mind from churning more on the fact that you seemed to hate him. He wanted to find a way to protect you now, instead of focusing on the past.
But JJ seemed hellbent on walking backward - getting him to look back on what happened between the two of you.
“I can do complicated.” She said. “We’ve got plenty of time. We should just sit here and wait for her to come back.”
“You should go check in with Hotch.” Spencer told her, dodging around the question once again. “I’ll come back after.”
“After what?” JJ questioned, finding this wording particularly strange.
JJ started the car and pulled away, hoping that you would be safe during the time they didn’t have eyes on you. The UnSub had a particular routine - he liked to stalk his victims for a few weeks before he broke into their homes and killed them. So she hoped that he wasn’t ready to make contact with you yet. She hoped that if he did, your gun and your alarm system would be enough to deter him.
“I - I wanted to get her something nice.” He answered, sounding rather shy about this proclamation. “Like she mentioned, her birthday just passed. And, according to the preschool forms, her son’s birthday was a week ago. I want to get something for him too.”
“They have the same birthday?” JJ asked.
“Not exactly the same, but their birthdays are only five days apart.” Spencer replied. “I missed his birth.” He added on, a quiet sigh, entirely melancholic. “I missed the whole pregnancy. I - I missed everything.”
“You still didn’t answer my question.” JJ reminded him. “What happened?”
Spencer knew she was asking as a friend. He knew that of all people - she was the one to talk to about this.
“It - it was right after Hankel.” He admitted quietly. “That was when Y/N and I broke up.”
“Oh.” JJ said quietly.
The air in the car became thick as the heaviness truly overtook her.
So, it was complicated.
But she definitely couldn’t understand your rage toward Spencer.
“When I came back from Atlanta, she knew I wasn’t the same. And things - we - we fell apart.” He admitted this barely above a whisper, hesitant to even voice the words as a reality. “You knew what kind of person I was back then. I wasn’t good to her. I wasn’t good to anybody.”
Spencer let out a harsh chuckle - a defense to all the hurt he was feeling about it.
JJ spotted a sign for a shopping center, and pulled into the parking lot. She knew that Spencer likely had a good idea about buying into your good graces with a late birthday gift. Even if it wouldn’t instantly make up for everything that had happened all those years ago.
“Yeah, but you’re sober now.” She reminded him.
“She doesn’t know that.” Spencer replied.
JJ ruminated in thought for a moment.
“You know, I met Will afterwards, right?” She said.
Out of the corner of her eye, Spencer nodded.
“It was only a few weeks after everything happened, when we were working that case in New Orleans.” She explained. “And he looked at me like I was a hero. Because I helped him finish what his father couldn’t. He didn’t look at me like I was fragile or broken. He didn’t tip-toe around me. He didn’t see me as some ghost. And that is part of the reason why I fell for him. He always saw me as this goddess. Like Superwoman.”
Spencer smiled at this.
He wanted to be that person for you. He wanted to be your Superman. (But he feared that he couldn’t live up to that. That he would fail you when the time came.)
JJ found a parking spot, and parked, but Spencer lingered - sensing there was more to the conversation.
“You know… Henry wants a puppy.” JJ’s voice shook, her throat clenching up around these words.
Spencer’s stomach shook.
He hadn’t been there, but he had seen the scars on JJ’s arms. He had seen the footage of the other poor woman being torn apart by those dogs.
“And I had to tell Will everything. How I was chased down, how I had to shoot two innocent animals - the stupid fact that I still feel guilty about it, even though they would have killed me if I hadn’t done it.” She said, her throat becoming more closed off with each word. She cleared it before she spoke again. “How I lost you, how it was all my fault.”
“What happened to me wasn’t your fault.” Spencer felt the need to say this aloud, reaching over and putting a gentle hand on her knee. She nodded at him before she continued.
“Just - it was all so overwhelming. The idea of having a dog in our house. But… I told him that I wanted to try, at least. For Henry.” JJ explained. “But when we went to the animal shelter - the sound of dogs barking… I couldn’t stop myself from flinching. And next thing I know, I’m sitting on the curb outside with my head between my knees and Will is putting a bottle of water to my lips.”
“Henry seems more like a cat person anyway.” Spencer replied, hoping this slightly humorous comment would offer some comfort to his friend.
JJ let out a tired laugh.
“He’s three and a half, I think we’re still in the stage where a goldfish is more than enough for him.” She added on.
“I - I never told Y/N.” Spencer said, suddenly shifting the conversation. JJ raised her brow, prompting further explanation of this. “I never told her what happened to me. What happened with Hankel.”
JJ gave him a sad look.
“Why not?”
“I - I didn’t want her to view me as weak. I couldn’t fight him off. I accepted the drugs. At certain points, I…. I even pitied him.” Spencer replied. “I didn’t want things to change between us. Even though they did anyway.”
“Do you still wanna be with her?” JJ asked.
“What?” Spencer gaped, not expecting the question.
“If the kid is yours, obviously you wanna be in his life. But co-parenting as separate, single people is one thing.” JJ explained herself. “Do you still want to be with Y/N? Do you still love her?”
“Yes.” Spencer replied shyly.
“Then you have to tell her everything.” JJ said firmly. “Being with someone for the long term isn’t about creating some fantasy. I fell in love with Will because he looked at me like I was Superwoman, but I stayed in love because he takes care of me when I’m powerless. You have to be weak in front of her and let her take care of you, so that you can be strong everywhere else.”
Spencer sighed - letting this wisdom fully penetrate him.
He knew that being a genius sometimes meant that he wasn’t the smartest person in the room. Apparently, this was one of those times.
“You’re right.”
Then, he reached for the car door’s handle, feeling like JJ had taught him a lot with that conversation and he needed some time to think alone.
“You want me to come with you?” JJ asked. “You might need a woman’s opinion on what to get,”
“No thanks, I know Y/N pretty well.” He replied. “At least I hope I still do.” He opened the door fully and stepped out. “And I wanted some alone time, to… think all of this over. To think about what I’m gonna say to Y/N. I’m gonna walk back afterwards, the house is only a few blocks away.”
JJ nodded.
“I should check back in with Hotch.” She noted. “See if they found anything with the other women on the list. Otherwise, all we’ve got is the flowers.”
Just as he moved to close the door again, JJ spoke up one last time.
“Rubble.” She said suddenly - which sounded very strange with no context.
“What?” Spencer asked, ducking his head down to see inside the car to potentially hear her words better.
“Rubble - it’s a character from the kids’ TV show, Paw Patrol.” She explained. “There was about five action figures of him sitting on the living room floor back there. So I would assume that he’s your son’s favorite character.”
Spencer’s chest jumped at the way she said ‘your son’ - so casually.
He could really have a child in his life. This could really be his future.
If he played his cards right, this could be his future with you.
“Thank you, JJ.” Spencer grinned at her.
She smiled back and he stood up to his full height and closed the car door, walking off into the shopping center by himself.
And of course, his thoughts drifted back to you.
He thought back to the last time he had spent your birthday with you. Before Hankel, before all the madness. Before everything good in his life slipped through his fingers and he was left feeling so alone.
…
For someone with basically no serious relationships under his belt before you came along, Spencer was excellent when it came to romance.
Perhaps it was because he spent his time reading the classics - he could recite Elizabethan poetry off by heart, he could whisper epic romantic ballads in your ear before kissing you with such intense passion that it left your head spinning. He had such a perfect picture of what romance should be, and it meant that he knew how to plan a date that left you feeling like a queen.
Every single time he took you out, he made you feel like you were the only woman on earth - like he would move the seas and the sky just to show you how much he cared.
And because he insisted that your birthday should be a day all about you - a day dedicated to celebrating you - then this was certainly no different.
The night had been a whirlwind of perfection.
After dinner at a gorgeous fine dining restaurant downtown, Spencer then drove the two of you to an art gallery to stroll around. He cited that he wanted you to have some down time for your food to settle before he gave you your present. From the spark in his eye, you had a feeling that you knew exactly what that present would be. The whole evening was so utterly beautiful and peaceful. And like everything with Spencer - it was a pleasant enrichment of the mind, looking at art while he told you things about the artists or the origins of the paintings.
Before you got halfway through the gallery, he checked his watch and told you that it was ‘just about time’ for your present, and then he drove you back to his apartment.
The two of you barely made it through the door before you had him pinned against it, your mouth enveloping his in a hot, desperate kiss. You were so utterly grateful to have such a romantic, thoughtful man in your life.
The entire evening had been nothing but a reminder of that - the way he looked at you with love so pure in his eyes. Him opening doors for you, keeping his hand on your lower back to usher you gently around, speaking lowly to you as though his words were precious and only meant to be yours.
You needed him. You needed to show him how much you appreciated all of it. You needed him to know how much of a treasure he was in your life.
You reached for his belt and Spencer let out a choked off moan into your mouth.
You were surprised when he reached for your wrist, gently pulling your touch back - stopping you from unfastening the belt as he pulled his now slightly swollen lips away from your kiss.
“As - as much as I want to,” He huffed out against your mouth. “I - I still have to give you your present.” He noted, flashing you a smile.
“I thought this was my present.” You replied, reaching down to grope Spencer’s half hard cock through his pants.
He let out a groan; but then he reached for your wrist again, pulling your touch back.
“I - I promise - later - afterwards? Later tonight.” He stuttered out, hard pressed to focus as more blood rushed to his cock.
Spencer puzzled you. You had never known any other man to interrupt foreplay for something other than sex, unless it was life or death. But it made you very curious about what your present was and why he was so desperate to give it to you.
And sex was still on the table, so that panging need between your legs would be taken care of eventually.
You hummed in ascent and stepped back, releasing Spencer from where you had him pressed against the door. He gulped in a large breath of air before he moved across the room.
You were surprised when he didn’t move to turn on any lights in the apartment, leaving the two of you settled in comfortable darkness. The only lights being the light from the bathroom that he had left on before leaving, shining down the hall, and the dim lighting coming in the windows - some street lights and the occasional passing car’s headlights.
Spencer shrugged off his blazer and tossed it over the back of the couch on his way toward the window. He yanked up the blinds in front of the space where he had set up a very expensive, advanced, gorgeous telescope - one that had been there the last few times you had visited. Astronomy was one of his many hobbies, and he often invited you to view different stars or passing comets. It was just one of the many things you learned from him - knowledge you absorbed from being around him that made you feel infinitely smarter.
You always indulged in the joy of feeling smarter just from being in his presence. You loved that Spencer was someone so gifted who loved to share his knowledge, rather than gatekeeping it or being snide toward others who weren’t as privileged as him. It was just another thing to love about him - the fact that he was so kind in sharing his big brain with others.
You watched him with intrigue while you took your wrap off your shoulders and tossed your purse onto the couch. Enjoying the quiet and the peaceful darkness and watching him work, you moved to sit on the arm of the couch to begin unstrapping your heels.
He checked his watch again, and then looked to a small side table he had near the telescope. He flipped open a notebook that he had there, and you supposed that the minimal light coming in through the window was enough for him to see whatever it was that he had written there. He adjusted the telescope slightly, then looked at the notebook again, then adjusted the telescope again.
Then he said ‘aha, there you are’ under his breath, grinning widely to himself.
The entire thing made your insides glow with curiosity.
Spencer then turned back to you, still grinning widely. When he noticed your shoe half-hanging off your foot, he stepped over to you and softly grabbed your ankle, sliding your shoe off the entire way before gently rubbing the sole of your foot.
“Let me help you with that, Princess.” He said quietly, before moving to take the shoe off your other foot.
Again, your insides tingled as he made you feel like you were the most important woman on earth.
“Thank you.” You replied, almost speechless at the action.
“If you’ll step right this way, I can show you your present.” He said, motioning toward the telescope with a dramatic flare.
You let out a giggle as you stepped over your abandoned shoes and moved to look into the telescope.
You wondered if he had written some poem and taped it onto the other end of the lens or something like that (it was Spencer, it must have been something epically romantic). But as you bent down and closed one eye to get a good look, it was entirely ordinary.
The telescope was focused on a single, tiny star.
It was beautiful, but it was very… plain. And more than anything, it was confusing.
Your present was… a star?
“Spencer, I don’t really get it?” You sighed, standing up to your full height once again.
“I got you a star.” He said proudly, grinning even wider now.
When you stared at him with more intense confusion, Spencer reached over to the notebook and pulled something out. After he handed it to you, you leaned into the light of the window and studied it carefully.
It was a certificate stating that Spencer had paid to name the star after you.
He had literally changed the night sky for you.
“Oh my god.” You gasped quietly.
You felt so overwhelmed.
If he had made you feel like the most important woman in the world before, then now - you felt like the most important woman in the galaxy.
“Spencer, this is - this is too much.” You said, your throat clenching up slightly due to the intensity of the emotions.
“No, it’s not.” He said firmly, reaching out and putting a hand on your jaw, tilting your face up from looking at the certificate to look at him.
There it was again, all of it spelled out in his eyes - the adoration, the pure, overwhelming affection that he felt for you. It bloomed nothing but those same feelings in return from you. It was almost so overwhelming that you felt like you could have exploded from how much love you felt for this man, all of it swelling inside of you so quickly that you felt like your body couldn’t contain it. Like it was a sickness that was going to overrun your body if you weren’t careful.
“Spencer.”
His name swelled in your throat like that throbbing love, and you couldn’t help yourself from reaching out and grabbing him by the front of his shirt, pulling him into another kiss. Because of course, words weren’t enough. You smothered him with your mouth, trying desperately to communicate every ounce of passion and gratefulness you were feeling with the heat of that kiss.
Spencer held you, engulfing both your cheeks with his large, warm hands, kissing you back with just as much intensity.
Both of you lingered there for a few moments, savoring each other’s lips, mingling in each other’s breath.
You were disappointed when Spencer pulled away.
“There is something else.” He told you, a bit of glee edging on his voice.
“What?” You gaped, shocked by this.
“There’s something else I have to give you. Another part of your present.” He clarified, pulling back completely - likely in order to fetch this thing.
You let out a breath. You weren’t sure how this magnificent man could possibly do more.
You placed the certificate for the star down on the table where Spencer had kept it. Later, you would take it home and have it framed, wanting to display it proudly. You could imagine yourself putting it up in the front of your home when you eventually moved in with Spencer. You could put it next to your marriage certificate; eventually, put next to wedding photos when the two of you eventually got married. (And sometime later, it would be hanging alongside photos of you and Spencer with your kids. You tingled, realizing that this was the first time you had ever thought of having kids with him, but it fit so well. It seemed right.)
The thought made you tingle.
You could truly imagine yourself having a life with Spencer. Standing proudly because this was just the beginning of it. He truly felt like ‘the one’ you had always been waiting for.
“Here.”
Spencer’s voice pulled you from your plethora of dreamy thoughts, and you turned to see him holding a velvet box. Your heart skipped a beat at the passing thought that it might be the box - but no. Now wasn’t the time. The two of you had only been dating for a year and a half. And while you were so deeply in love, you knew that it was a bit haste to assume that he was ready for marriage when you were his first serious girlfriend. You were still both so young.
He opened the lid and you let out a small gasp when you saw it.
It was a simple, elegant silver necklace. The pendant was a four pointed star, with a small, dainty stone in the middle. You easily recognized it as your birthstone, meant to represent the fact that he had given it to you on your birthday. And obviously the star pendant as a whole represented that he had also gifted you a literal star in the sky on that same day.
“Spencer, it’s so beautiful.” You said, utterly breathless.
“Traditionally, the four pointed star is believed to represent the designation of a goal. It marks one’s great endeavors, because it seems to point to the four cardinal directions. This star is meant to guide someone, like a map - the way that sailors used the stars to guide their path.”
Spencer explained, knowledgeable as he always was.
“I - I chose this for you because… well, because when I met you, I felt as though I had accomplished great things in all areas of my life, except for one. Academically, I was satisfied. In my career, I was happy. But when it came to matters of the heart… I was utterly clueless. And when I found you… it felt like you were my guiding star. Like you were the person I had been waiting for to finally show me - show me the meaning of love.”
“Oh, Spencer.” Your voice cracked around these words, barely able to form them. “Oh, honey. I love you so much. Thank you.”
It was all your mind could gather at the moment. It wasn’t the first time you had said it to him, but it was certainly one of the most intense.
“I love you too.” He replied. Through the dimness, you could almost see tears forming in his eyes. “You truly make me so happy.”
Spencer then cleared his throat harshly, wanting to clear away his intensely emotional tears.
“Can - can I put it on you?” He asked shyly, motioning with the necklace in its box.
“Of course.” You grinned. “I’d love that.”
You turned around and Spencer took it out of the box, fiddling with the dainty clasp for a moment before he put it around your neck and then did it up for you. It felt so right around your neck. It felt like his love was being carried with you. You had a feeling that you wouldn’t want to take it off anytime soon. You could easily imagine yourself feeling so proud to answer whenever random strangers or your co-workers asked where it was from.
When it was secured around your neck, Spencer leaned in and laid a gentle, open-mouthed kiss against the chain. This simple act reminded you of that needy throb between your thighs; of what you had been wanting so badly the moment you had come in the door.
“So…” He whispered against your neck. “What else does the birthday girl want?”
“I can think of a few things.”
That was how you ended up with your back pressed against the softness of the couch - too impatient to even make it to the bed - with your dress pushed up around your waist, your panties tossed somewhere in the middle of the living room rug. Spencer’s glasses were pressed up onto his forehead while his knees dug into that same rug, his fingers splayed across your thighs, holding you open to makeway for his tongue.
He ate you out with all of the intensity and passion that he had kissed you with - moaning into your pussy as though he was singing directly to the gods.
“Fuck, Spence.” You moaned, raking your hands through his hair, holding him close - not that he would want to pull away for even a second.
He loved your taste more than anything in the world, and he savored every second that he got the privilege of being on his knees for you. He moaned into your pussy, loudly, almost pathetically - hot echoes coming from his lungs as though he was the one being pleasured. He laved his tongue across you with an open jaw, drinking in as much of you as possible while your thighs quaked around his head. Your nails dug into his scalp and he only moaned harder, loving the sound of your needy whines and your gasping breaths as your clit throbbed under his tongue.
Spencer hummed in delight while he bounced your clit on his tongue, loving the feeling of that sweet little bead throbbing against him; loving your taste, loving your echoing moans. Loving how much he could bring you pleasure.
“Fuck, Spence, so close!”
He put his lips around you and sucked then, holding you gently against him by the hips. He couldn’t help but to enjoy the feeling of your body quaking against his face while your orgasm overtook you. It was overwhelming and beautiful and warmed your whole body - just like the love you felt for him.
He pulled away after a moment, when he was sure that he had seen you through to the satisfying end, and he grinned against the mound of your pussy.
“Happy birthday, pretty girl.”
…
After the break-up, Spencer often looked up to the sky and thought about you.
On the nights when your star was in place overhead, he felt a particular pang in his chest. He wondered where you were and what you were doing. He wondered if you were safe. He spent many nights staring out his telescope, wondering if you were happy, blanketed under that inky sky.
You thought about the star sometimes, too.
You thought it was a lot like your relationship with Spencer. Placing all of your hopes and dreams onto something already dead - something where the light had died out long ago.
...
Continue reading: Chapter Three - Turn It Off
#sundrop writes#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#dad!spencer reid#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you
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Went to a panel about slash fanfic at a con. Moderator said, "Welcome to the panel about erotica." The words "slash" and "erotica" were used interchangeably throughout. Panel was great.
There was a Q&A at the end so I raised my hand and said these terms seemed conflated. Moderator explained she'd run this panel for 10 years and it started out being about slash but drifted into erotica and she never changed the name. (She also said she was glad I brought it up and would keep it in mind for the future of the panel.) The guy on the panel who writes original m/f erotica said that slash and what he writes are basically the same thing. I said I had no complaints about the name of the panel or the panelists, I was just curious about what slash meant to them, and whether slash by necessity had to include sex scenes to be considered slash.
Two panelists answered that slash was romance between men but usually had sex. Eventually one of them did make clear that slash didn't have to have sex but that it was what they wanted to read. Another panelist said that to them slash really just meant dude romance but people wouldn't read their fic unless there was sex so they felt they had to put sex scenes in.
Person came up to me after the panel. Said they felt I didn't get my question answered. Then they explained that since the 70s, 'slash' has been used to mean m slash m romance, meaning explicit and sexual. Then they said it sounded like what I wanted to ask about was shipping. They explained to me that shipping is just wanting the characters to be together but slash meant sex. They explained that since the invention of AO3, people had begun to use the ampersand to mean the fic had two characters who were friends and that the slash was used to denote ships, but even though that punctuation just meant romance, the word "slash" in the last twenty years had become synonymous with explicit fic. I explained I had been in fandom longer than twenty years and this was not necessarily my experience. They said, "Bye!"
Though they seemed confused as to whether what they personally defined as slash had been mainstream since the 70s or since the last twenty years (the person was 24), they were well-meaning. The panel was great. I'd recommend it to anyone, though I'm not stating the name of the con here because I don't want anyone involved to feel this is really a critique of the panel itself. The moderator in particular was superb.
I think that this conversation just brought up a whole lot of feelings for me. I think it bothers me that people still think that all fanfic is smutty, that all slash requires porn, and that all fic must have porn in order to be read. I am familiar with this conflation and feel perfectly fine going to a panel that I think is about slash fic and finding out it's about erotic lit, some of which is fanfic. After all, I like both, and I recognize that fandom mushes these things together and teasing them out into separate strands isn't something everyone--or possibly even most fans--have any interest in. I recognize that I am pedantic to a degree that most people find uninteresting.
I have a little bit more of a problem with the idea that slash is "basically the same" as het, but this was said by only one of the panelists. If your panel is actually about straight up erotica and not slash, then the problem is just the name of the panel.
What I found the most frustrating, however, is that whenever I have this conversation, I feel like the default assumption most of my interlocutors begin AND end with is this: smut is why we're here. And I just don't understand that. Away Childish Things has 44,800 kudos, and it has no smut in it. My next most kudosed fic has almost 15,000 kudos and tons of smut. My next most kudosed fic has almost 14,000 kudos and it doesn't even have a kiss.
I'm not talking about kudos to show off how many I have, or because I think kudos make a point about quality of a fic. They have nothing to do with quality. But they do have to do with popularity, and the truth is, sex doesn't sell. It's something else. It's not good writing. It's not a great plot. It's not in-character characterization. IT'S SOMETHING ELSE. What is it?
I've had people say to me, "Well, you're lettered; it works differently for you." DOES IT??? Maybe they meant that because enough people know me as fic author, people will read my fic anyway, but let me tell you, it's always been this way for me, long before my fic was really popular. The ones with smut did not get more praise and attention. The ones that PEOPLE LIKED got more praise and attention. Do people like fic that has smut in it more than fic without smut? Some of the time! Does there have to be smut for people to like it? NO.
Have I had people tell me they didn't want to read something I wrote because it didn't have smut? YES. But the point I'm trying to make is, there are people who want to read fic that doesn't have smut in it. THEY are your audience for the fic you want to write that doesn't have smut in it. Fic does not have to have smut to be fic; it doesn't have to have smut to be read.
I think part of the reason I get so upset about it is that slash as we know it today didn't just emerge because some people weren't getting to read smut and they wanted to. It emerged because women and queer people and other marginalized communities were not getting to see what they wanted to in mainstream media. They weren't getting sex scenes, but they also weren't getting queer content, they weren't getting stories about sensitive men that defied patriarchal stereotypes of male toxicity; they weren't getting stories about disabled folks and people of color and folks who are into kink and folks who have different lifestyles. To reduce fanfic to porn is to remove the rich history of why it exists and who it exists for.
I asked earlier what makes a fic popular, and to me, it's exactly this. It's when you read a thing and you feel, "this is really satisfying to my id in a way that I am not getting from mainstream media." And sometimes what is satisfying to your id is very horny anal sex. Other times what is satisfying to your id is Bucky Barnes getting a blanket and facing his trauma. Sometimes it's Harry Potter being trans. Sometimes it's Naruto and Sasuke getting to just hold hands as the sun sets. I have no idea who those two people are but boy howdy do I know they just fucking need to hold hands.
But the other reason I get so upset about it is I'm so fucking tired of reading a great fic that devolves into mediocre mechanical porn that is there due to the collective brainwashing that states that this is the ONLY reason ALL of us are here.
Discuss.
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Yandere Jeong Gu-Won Headcanons (General)
''I really can't stay away from you no matter how hard I try I always end up coming back to you.'' — Jeong Gu-Won.
❝ 👹 — lady l: my wips cry when they see me writing things out of nowhere, but I watched the two episodes of My Demon that were released this week and I needed to write to this man 😥 I hope you like these headcanons! ❤️❤️
❝tw: obsessive and possessive behavior, mention of murder, jealousy, stalking and unhealthy relationships.
❝👹pairing: yandere!jeong gu-won x gender neutral!reader.
Jeong Gu-Won didn't understand why he was feeling this way about you, about a useless and stupid human (as he used to call you). He didn't understand these feelings, why he, a demon, was feeling this way.
He tried at all costs to deny his feelings, to keep his mind busy with other things, but he always came back to thinking about you. He couldn't get you out of his head and it drove him crazy.
Jeong Gu-Won gradually became involved in your life, in such a subtle way that neither he nor you realized how involved he already was with you. Sometimes appearing where you were and watching you, protecting you in his own way or just spying on you. Even though he will never admit it.
He didn't want to accept that he was falling in love with a human, that he cared about a human, that he cared abot you. Gu-Won had been in denial ever since he noticed his heart racing when he was close to you or how he came to care about you.
He tried to fight against these feelings, against the urge to kill when someone else got too close to you, with the burning jealousy that consumed him from the inside out, but he couldn't. He tried to stay away from you for your his good, but he always ended up coming back.
Jeong Gu-Won couldn't stay away from you, he tried but he was worried. What if something happened to you? If you ended up being robbed or murdered? You were a human, you could get hurt easily and he couldn't have that.
Basically he became your bodyguard, although he doesn't use that term. He follows you everywhere and when he can't do it, he sends someone he trusts to follow you. He's just protecting you. To say he is overprotective is an understatement. For him, because you are human, you are exposed to risks all the time and must be protected at any cost.
Gu-Won will never admit it, but he is very jealous, bordering on possessive most of the time. He will be seething with jealousy inside when you are around another person, his gaze hardening and he will use his powers against them if they bother him too much. From something harmless, like making them trip, to something really lethal.
He is very polite with you and always tries to be courteous to you, but his bad mood always ends up getting the best of him and he ends up coming off as rude. He doesn't like other people, just you so there's no reason to be polite to them. You are all that matters, in the end.
Once he lets himself accept his feelings for you, Jeong Gu-Won won't let go of it. He really cares about someone other than himself after 200 years of being a demon, he won't let something happen to you. He can't let that happen.
He likes to use his powers to please you, as a way of showing his affection, something he's never really been good at. Whether it's cleaning your house with your powers, cooking for you or taking you to incredible places at any time of the day. He might feel uncomfortable about it due to his ego, but when he sees the amazed look on your face, he knows he won't regret it.
Jeong Gu-Won doesn't know how to deal with what he feels for you in an exactly healthy way, he's a demon and he's been alone for 200 years. He just knows that he cares, that he likes and loves you in a burning and passionate way. He had never felt like this before, not even when he was human. There's nothing he wouldn't do for you, from punishing people who cross you to even murdering anyone who gets too close for his liking.
You are his, after all. And Gu-Won won't let anyone take what belongs to him. Trying to steal something from a demon never ends well.
#my demon#yandere my demon#jeong guwon x reader#jeong gu-won x reader#yandere jeong guwon#yandere jeong gu-won#yandere jeong guwon x reader#yandere jeong gu-won x reader#yandere headcanons#headcanons#yandere jeong guwon headcanons#yandere jeong gu-won headcanons#k-drama#yandere k-drama
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hello!! I was hoping I could request gn!reader (aka Yuu) who loves dancing (and is actually really good at it, preferably something like contemporary dancing?) but hasn't told anyone in nrc. basically, the boys' reaction to stumbling upon them dancing one day!!
(requesting for cater, lilia, riddle, jamil, malleus, rook and vil!!)
thank youuuu <3
characters: riddle, cater, jamil, vil, rook, malleus and lilia x gn!yuu
tags: relationship not specified, fluff, imagines format; grim mention in riddle's, cater's, malleus' and lilia's. vil mention in cater's. kalim mention in jamil's. vil's is set in book 5
warnings: use of the word "dear" as a term of endearment in lilia's part
author's notes: i tried making them stumble yuu in different places so if they seem random thats why lol also i almost forgot about the "hasn't told anyone at nrc" part i get so carried away sometimes help 😭
Riddle Rosehearts
He has a deep appreciation for dancing and consequently, he respects anyone who is a connoisseur of the art
He would tell you everything he knows about the art and comes to you to inform you on any new things he learns about it
You would tell him that you’re a dancer yourself, especially contemporary dance; the freeing nature of your favorite form has proven to be an effective way to relieve stress and express yourself
…But you’re a bit too shy to admit that to someone as amazing as Riddle - so fate takes the matter into its own hands
You were dancing in Ramshackle’s lounge, all by yourself since Grim is napping, a luxury you don’t get to afford too often
You simply felt like it; you put on some music and suddenly your body grows a mind of its own
You were so absorbed in your performance that you didn’t manage to hear knocks rapping on your door, let alone the sound of footsteps leading up to it
Sensing no answer from you and immediately growing worried, whoever was at the door bursted in to search for you… only to be met with a you in the middle of a dance move
It takes you a few seconds to notice him standing there in awe of your movements. When you do, you instantly ran over to the source of your music and switched it off in embarrassment
He asked you why you did that and would love for you to continue dancing but you only shook your head and tell him you weren’t fully ready to show off your moves yet and that you were simply going with the flow
“I mean, that’s kinda the whole point of contemporary dancing, just going with the flow? But still, I need to choreograph some parts of it to actually look like a form of dance.”
He chuckles at your response and doesn’t push you to resume if you feel uncomfortable. You thank him for respecting your boundaries
Though everything between you goes smoothly after the incident, you’ll never forget the look on his face when he laid his eyes on: the pure wonder in his eyes told everything you needed to know.
Cater Diamond
He thinks dancing is super cool and he sometimes try to demonstrate that - and in your opinion, he’s not half-bad at it despite what Vil would say
You would show off your own moves but you don’t wanna kill his vibes, even if he’d think you’re super good at it
But one day you’ll tell him how much you love contemporary dance and the fact that it can convey every human emotion and experience; and then that day comes, though very unexpectedly you would say
It was late in the evening; the school hallways are mostly empty, save for you and Grim casually having a conversation while walking your way back to your dorm
But one glance outside gives you all the inspiration you need for an impromptu dance session - the sky is bleeding orange, blazing yellow bandaging it
Your movements shift. You are now a tribute to the sunset. Grim stands aside and watches you with a sigh but he holds back his witty comments for after you’re done with your performance
Little did you know you have another person in your audience - Cater also had late evening classes and only now he’s heading back to Heartslabyul
At least, that was his initial plan. Seeing you dancing in the hallway caught him off guard, firstly because who in their right mind would dance in the hallways but secondly (and mainly), the way you move enchanted him
Could it even be called moving? Your limbs bend and flex so smoothly that he thought they turned into water somehow
By the time you’re done, you’re given a standing ovation by both of your spectators - one of whose you jump at in shock
“Yuu, that was like, crazy good! Are you secretly some pro dancer or something?”
You blush a little at the fact that he saw you and at the compliment; after that event, it’s impossible to hide anything from him so you simply tell him everything you know
You’d give him pointers and you’re happy to see his improvement from day to day but most importantly, his shining, genuine smile is something you wouldn’t miss for the world.
Jamil Viper
You know he’s very passionate about dance and you truly admire his skill for it
Although he’d be the perfect dance partner, you feel a little self-conscious sharing your own passion for dancing with him
He seems to sparkle when he shows off his skills and you think you lack that type of shine to your own - he begs to differ though, you’ve come to learn
The two of you were hanging out in his room, music pouring out from his stereo and you drowning in it, your limbs spread out on the floor
Then your room is shaken by some unknown noise, though you can assume it’s Kalim-induced, to which Jamil sighed and excused himself to go check out and possibly fix up
You lay there on your own then, nodding your head to the music, until a song you liked dominates the speakers, taking you by surprise
You don’t know what happened but as soon as the first note hit, you’re on your feet and your body was swaying side to side
Losing your mind and body to the music felt good, but then Jamil entered the room when you were mid-dance. You would’ve stopped if it weren’t for him joining in, but not without a taunt
“What, too scared to dance with me? Come and show me what you’ve got, Yuu.”
You accepted his challenge and continued where you left off - the two of you twisted and turned and ended up on the floor lying on your backs once again, gasping for breath
The two of you laughed breathlessly. He then praised you and your dancing abilities and wondered why you never showed him how skilled you are
You shrugged, thinking it wasn’t a big deal, but then he put a hand on your shoulder and offered to have more dance-offs. You didn’t hesitate to agree
When dancing with him, it feels like the most natural thing in the world, as if you were born to do this. And maybe, just maybe, you were born to meet such a wonderful person too.
Vil Schoenheit
You were a bit let down when you couldn’t actually participate as a dancer for the VDC but at the very least it allowed you to give yourself a bit more time to truly showcase your dancing to others
And hosting a training camp for the actual competitors isn’t too bad if it’s for your dorm and for something you’re passionate about
Ramshackle Dorm is lively, what with everyone there. Conflict was inevitable in this school but it did drive you crazy somewhat
One particular day, everyone was taking a break from Vil’s scrutinous training and you can feel the tension in the air
At some point, everyone left the ballroom. Only you remained seated on the floor, your back to the wall. You stared up at the ceiling and sighed. You couldn’t take this anymore
You got to your feet and simply started dancing, as quietly as you could. No music, nothing - you didn’t want to risk garnering attention by being noisy
It definitely served to alleviate some of your stress. You even smiled to yourself and at some points, fought the urge to laugh out of joy
The ballroom seemed different then. The images of your friends came into your mind - all their smiles, their frowns, the determined looks on their faces. You felt your movements growing more fluid at the thought of them
Once you’re done and panting, bent over your knees gasping for air, a loud clap reverberates in the room. Then another. Then a third. Then a figure emerges, their hands clasped
“What a pleasant surprise. You’re not bad at all. Though it’s a bit too late to recruit you, I surely hope you continue to hone that skill of yours.”
Did… did Vil Schoenheit just praise your dancing skills?
Let’s just say you took his advice to heart - it’s hard not to when it’s Vil Schoenheit himself
You also helped the others with some of your advice after the confidence boost and you’re happy to see their improvement. Seeing Vil satisfied also brought a smile to your face.
Rook Hunt
After the VDC, you found yourself more exhausted than usual by the events that occurred and you begged for a break from whatever deity is there in Twisted Wonderland. Dancing was the last thing on your mind
And for a while, that’s what you got - you were able to simply attend classes and watch your friends bicker with each other like a normal student. It was a well-needed break for everyone
Sometimes you’d chat for a bit with any familiar faces you run into and these days, you found yourself chilling by yourself in the courtyard
One day, you suddenly felt a longing to dance once more. And luckily for you, you had the courtyard all to yourself
It went from being some regular courtyard to your stage and the sun was your spotlight; you shone and you twinkled. You were like a star
And that was what you were told by the end of your performance, accompanied by applause from a singular person
“Très bien, Yuu… your performance has moved me to tears!”
Rook exclaims as he makes his way over to you; that certainly wasn’t your intention. You didn’t even think it was worth watching
But then Rook continues to comment on certain aspects of your performance, elaborating in very vivid detail. You’ve never felt so seen before
He would shower you with compliments, as if to say that you shouldn’t have a single doubt in your mind
And you hardly ever do after that since he very much threatened you to be kind to yourself or else
He would tell everyone about your wonderful skill (with your consent, of course), as if you’re his child who he’s been watching grow up over the years
He may be a bit loud about you at times but when you look over at him and see how proud he is of you, you only sigh fondly and hold back a chuckle.
Malleus Draconia
He doesn’t know a lot about the subject but he appreciates it as a form of art and expression of the people
And so you would tell him all about it while being careful to not let on that you’re one yourself which is surprisingly easier than you thought, considering how oblivious he is sometimes
He merely sees you as some sort of dance scholar and as if he doesn’t respect you a lot already, he definitely holds you in higher regard now
And somehow, that elevates to an even higher level when he suddenly finds you out
He was on his routinely walk around Ramshackle; it was a windy night, weather as pleasant as his conversations with you
Coincidentally, whilst his thoughts were on you, he spotted you in the backyard of your dorm with the ghosts and… hm? It’s brightly lit for once
Curious and wanting confirmation, he changed his route to suspiciously festive-looking Ramshackle instead
Meanwhile, you and Grim were dancing to some music the ghosts were playing for you. You all were having a simple party to forget your worries
The ghosts would comment on how you should stop outshining Grim so much, just to mess with Grim. But they had a point; you had a certain glimmer to you when you dance
Malleus saw that much when he reached your party. He stood within the frame of the backdoor, watching your every movement, entranced
After a few minutes did you notice him there, unmoving. Your steps trace their way to him instead. You extend a hand to him
“May I have this dance?”
And you may - the two of you danced, him slipping in flatteries in between moves. Maybe it was just you, but the party seemed to feel much more lively with him. No, not just the party; the whole world was.
Lilia Vanrouge
He knows a thing or two about dancing from all his adventures and he’d love to show you proof of it
So he does - he's definitely got the moves and you definitely want to show him some of your own… someday
You feel a little self-conscious about your own skills after his show but that doesn't stop you from working on your dancing. You're determined to make your skills worthy of Lilia’s attention!
Little did you know. It's futile to really hide anything from this sneaky bastard (affectionate)
You were on your way to class from Ramshackle with Grim and unfortunately for you, you had a little earworm stuck in your head that day
It started off as a skip, then two skips. By five skips, it turned into a full on dance. You felt alive, like you were a main character in a musical
Grim was making fun of you at first but then he started linking his arm with lampposts and swinging himself alongside you
Lilia was watching this all happen from afar, as one does. A student dancing their way to class is no everyday spectacle after all. And it's you too! All the more reason to play peeping tom
Just when you're about to reach the main building did he finally give you the jumpscare of a lifetime
“Why, you didn’t tell me what a wonderful dancer you are, my dear Yuu! I must admit, I feel quite offended.”
He was jesting of course - he was merely glad that he got to witness such a sight. And you’re glad that you’re not as unskilled as you thought you were
He tries his best not to boast your skills to others but you know he can never keep such hidden talent, well, hidden from his beloved Diasomnia family
You got the Diasomnia stamp of approval - not only that, but you’ve definitely impressed someone you hold dear.
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x gn reader#riddle rosehearts#riddle rosehearts x reader#cater diamond#cater diamond x reader#jamil viper#jamil viper x reader#vil schoenheit#vil schoenheit x reader#rook hunt#rook hunt x reader#malleus draconia#malleus draconia x reader#lilia vanrouge#lilia vanrouge x reader#twst x yuu
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I'll Crawl Home to Her- Chapter 2
Sorry this update took a little longer, I had some personal stuff going on and my work schedule was pretty packed this week.
Also, this is a fix-it fic. It'll be following the events of the whole series so buckle in y'all. Also also, I shit on Tamlin a lot in these next chapters but it has a purpose I promise!
Chapter warnings: Warnings: Mention of abuse/ trauma, one comment about weight in terms of said said abuse , minor blood
WC: 9.6K
Read the previous parts here
[prologue] [chapter 1]
Next Part [here]
“Rhys is the most handsome High Lord.” I read line after line of similar words. I rolled my eyes at my brother's antics.
“He’s sure laying it on thick.” I say as I sat down next to Feyre. She looks up from her writing and gives me a guarded laugh.
“At least I’m entertaining.” She huffs out.
“I can help you too, if you want. Give you a break from him.” She raises her eyebrow at me, studying me with a look that made me want to sink in on myself.
“Why?” She asks sharply
I willed my temper down. “Because despite what Tamlin might tell you, we’re not evil,” I spit out at her, she doesn’t flinch even slightly at the venom in my voice. “And you’re going to be here once a month for the foreseeable future. I’d like us to at least tolerate each other. Plus, it would piss off my brother.” Her eyes shone with mischief.
“You should have started with that.” And that was that. I pushed Rhys’ papers to the side and picked out a few books that had been my favorite. The plots are interesting enough to make up for the basic words used. Feyre caught on fairly easily. She could recognize almost all of the basic words but struggled to read them out loud. Not fully understanding how the sounds mashed together. We sat and read, and then when that got to be too much for her we just started talking. It was nothing deep, not really gossip either. Just casual words thrown back and forth until she asks out of the blue. “What’s the deal with Tamlin and Rhys?” I froze into stillness only fae possessed. Sensing my discomfort she backtracked. “You don’t have to tell me. I shouldn’t have asked.” Her voice held a little edge of fear. I forced my shoulders to relax.
“No, you have every right to ask. It’s…complicated. You’re walking into centuries old distrust and unfortunately, are caught in the middle.” It wasn’t fair to her to be caught in all of this old shit. That was our baggage and I could see it was affecting her but she pressed on.
“But why do they hate each other so much?”
“I’m not the best person to ask.” She narrowed her eyes at my non-answer. I sighed. “We’ve both done some terrible things to each other's courts, the wounds run deep and that’s all I’ll tell you.”
“Why?” She would not let up.
“Because you love Tamlin. And I don’t want you to think I’m trying to ruin whatever picture you have of him.” That really seemed to pique her curiosity.
“You had a different experience with him?” It felt like she had punched me in the stomach. No. That’s the problem, I had the exact same experience with him and I ended up just as broken as I can see you’re becoming.
“That’s not a story for today.” I tried to keep the shake out of my voice and maybe it was that, or the fear I know I couldn’t keep off of my face that made her drop the subject with a small, “okay”.
It was lunch time before we decided to take a break. “Do you want to eat here or go out with the others?”
“Rhys will just pull me out if I don’t.”
“My brother can fuck off. What do you want to do?” I saw a ghost of a smile twitch across her face. So we ate in the library. I left only long enough to stack up two plates full of food. Rhys took in the amount of food I was grabbing,
“Hungry today?” I only stuck my tongue out at him and walked back out of the room.
Rhys joined us a little after lunch. If he was surprised to still see me in here, he didn’t let it show. I didn’t leave until Feyre told me she was okay with me doing so.
It was probably overkill to be so protective of her, Rhys was the last person who would ever try to hurt her or anything like that but she was still uneasy around him. She hid it well with the sheer disdain she showed him but I could tell from the rigidness of her shoulders and that slight edge in her voice. But there was also something else there that I couldn’t put my finger on.
Feyre had stayed in the library long after their meeting. I found her hunched over another book, finger slowly tracing over the words. She hardly looked up as I placed another plate of food in front of her and went to walk out of the room. She didn’t call after me and I was okay with that. Scared she might start another round of questions.
I didn’t see much of her after that. So I traveled back and forth between Velaris. Spending half my time at the manor and the other half actually doing my job as researcher. I really didn’t have to work but it gave me something to fill up my days. Before Amarantha I spent most of my time helping Cassian manage the Illyrians, from the background of course. Being the High Lords sister did not save me from their views on females. So I only showed up when necessary, Azriel and Cassian always following behind me. They learned fast enough to keep their tongues in check if they wanted to keep them in their mouths.
Currently I was looking at old maps of Prythian. Combining through records for landscapes and t river patterns. Where the boundaries have shifted over time. And then came the daunting task of trying to pick out recountings of the old war. Figuring out who does best with what court. Prepping for the outcome we were all dreading, another war with Hybern.
“I don’t understand what you’re trying to get from these books.” Cassian said, absently flipping through the large leather bound book I had just placed to the side.
“Anything. Weakness, strengths, strategies, gods, anything.” I said leaning back. I knew I had to take a break, when I closed my eyes I could still see the words swirling in the blackness behind my eyelids. I took a deep breath and went to look at the giant map I had covered my desk with. Pins and markers to recount every movement during the last war.
“Do you really think that it’s going to help?” I know he wasn’t trying to be rude. His voice was soft when he asked and my shoulders sunk in slightly.
“I don’t know. But if it does…” He nodded in understanding. Azriel knocked lightly on the door, making both Cas and I jump. He had learned to knock now after he had to dodge out of the way of the book I had launched at him last week. I still haven't reaccustomed myself to how quiet his footsteps could be. A skill I had once prided myself on, I had even been able to pick up on those silent footsteps and find him before he wanted to be seen.
“Just wanted to remind you two to eat.” He looked at the books strewn across the table, taking note of the one Cassian was still flipping through, playing with truly. “I know how you can get when you’re focused. Time for food.” He smiled at the shy look I gave him from being called out. Many times he had to drag me out of my office when I really got into something. His smile made me think he was remembering those times too.
“If we go, will you two stop making eyes at each other?” Cassian spoke up, making me break away from Azriel’s stare.
“We were not.” I responded, trying to tame the blush in my cheeks. Get it together. I told myself as I forced myself to turn to Cas. His eye roll was the only answer I got. Azriel had already started walking down the hall and I slapped Cassian on the arm.
“You’re so annoying sometimes Cas.”
“And you love me for it.” He gave me a loud, wet peck on the cheek and gave a full head-thrown-back laugh when I made a big show of wiping it off.
I didn't return to the other house that night. Opting to stay with my friends. One of whom, Cassian, had gone into the wine cellar and returned with his arms almost full of the expensive bottles. I just laughed as he shot me a wink. I blew him a kiss back as I settled down on the couch besides Mor.
We didn’t bother getting glasses, passing the bottles around while we talked about absolutely nothing, acting like we had during our teenage years. It was later in the night before Rhys appeared in the living room. He took one look at all of us and rolled his eyes before he swiped the bottle out of my hand and brought it to his lips.
Mor and I were fully supporting each other's weight on the couch, I couldn’t tell who was leaning against who more but our giggles started to get louder and more frequent. She whispered to me so quietly I had to strain to hear her. “Stop staring at him.” And we fell into another fit of giggles.
She was right though, everytime Azriel talked I could feel how my eyes stayed locked on him. Reminding myself to breathe when he pulled the bottle to his lips. I pushed off of Mor and went to stand up, wobbling slightly as my feet touched the ground. Azriel made a move like he was going to catch me if I took a face first dive on the carpet but when I steadied myself, he moved back. It happened so fast I wonder if I imagined it.
“I think it’s bedtime.” I said, mouth feeling mushy as the words came out. Mor laughed again and I turned to face her and gave her a rude gesture. I offered that same hand to pull her up to her feet and she pouted before taking it. Everyone seemed to get the hint that it was late so all of us in our various drunken states started the climb up the stairs to our rooms. Good nights thrown through the hallways, Cassian all but screaming it to make sure Mor and I heard him. The sound made us flinch before laughing again as I closed the door to my room.
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Before I knew it Feyre’s week was officially up. She had demanded to be brought back home and I fought down the biting comments I wanted to make as Rhys agreed. I stepped besides the pair and she looked over to me for a brief second before pretending that neither of us existed.
“You don’t have to come with me. Rhys spoke into my mind and replied with a shake of my head. I could do this for Feyre. Despite every part of my body screaming at me for bringing her back to the Spring court, if she could be brave then so could I. He sighed at my stubbornness but knew that there was no changing my mind.
We weren’t going far. Simply dropping her at the border of spring and summer and making sure she got into the manor. I could manage that. Yet as we were getting ready to winnow in, I felt my hands go clammy. I remember me saying I’ll never go back there willingly.
The smell was the first thing that hit me. The overwhelming floral scent. I could smell the roses from the outside of the manor this far away, their sheer number coating the air with a smell that threatened to suffocate me on the spot.
“Goodbye, Feyre.” She had already started walking before he finished speaking, not sparing so much as a glance back to us. So we stood and watched her retreating figure until those wooden doors closed behind her. That was that.
We didn’t return to Hewn city, instead winnowing outside the townhome.
Rhys didn’t stay to greet our friends. Instead, he all but ran up the stairs to either go to his study or his room. Everyone gave me a tentative look before I shrugged and sprawled out on the couch besides Azriel.
He didn’t try to pull away from me. Instead, he lifted his hands from their spot on his lap. His way of telling me I could place my legs up so I didn’t have to sit awkwardly to avoid his wings. I did and I ignored how happy that little gesture made me. Over the last few weeks he seemed to be able to handle being around me again.
Cassian started rapid firing questions at me. What is she like? She threw what at Rhys? Anything for scraps of what their brother's mate was actually like. Sure they had gotten the story of her trials but this was different, getting to know who she actually was. Cassian seemed pleased to know she was still just as head strong. “Maybe someone will finally humble him a little.” He chuckled
Rhys spoke up as he entered the room. “Who’s humbling who?” He picked at an invisible piece of lint on his shoulder. The only sign of how upset sending Feyre back had made him.
Cassian didn’t answer but instead asked “Did she really throw a shoe at you?” He laughed when Rhys shot me a dirty look. Answering the question for him. “I want to meet her.” Cassian said and I swore he was almost pouting.
Rhys sighed, “And have you scare her off.” Cassian looked hurt so Rhys added, “Let her get more adjusted to me before we add all of this into the mix. Besides, she cannot see Velaris. Not when…” not when she came back to Tamlin. Not when she could still spill every little secret of ours to one of our biggest enemies.
Cas looked like he wanted to argue but only said “Princess gets to see her.”
“Because I have a winning personality.” I smiled at him and he launched one of the small pillows from his chair at me. I managed to deflect it but as it bounced off my arm it hit Azriel square in the face. I bit down my laughter at his faux outraged face. He threw it back and before I knew it, they were yelling at each other, well Cas was yelling and Azriel was trying his hardest not to laugh.Sensing a fight was emanate, I pushed off of Azriel and spoke loudly over the two Illyrian males.
“Outside if you’re going to fight.” Even Armen, who had stalked into the room around as Rhys laughed at that.
Cassian turned to me, his temper still flaring. “We’re not dogs.”
“Last time you both fought in the house, I was cleaning up glass for a week.” I raised an eyebrow at him, challenging him to say otherwise.
Azriel spared Cassian from having to respond. “C’mon.” He said, pulling Cassian to what I could only assume was the training ring.
“I forgot how much you look like Rhys when you get bossy.” Cassian said as he was pulled from the room. And my responding gesture made the rest of the room go up in laughs. Rhys followed them out. Probably needing to get rid of his own tension and Armen had snuck back into the research room.
I didn’t have it in me to just stare at maps all day long, regardless of knowing how much I needed to. So I just stayed in the living room, a random book from the shelf pulled onto my lap.
Rhys came back first, hair only slightly disheveled, wings out proudly. “Once I get out of the bath, it’s time for your training.” I huffed and he could sense I was about to argue with him. “Cassian and Azriel told me you can’t use your powers.” Traitors. “So we’re going to figure out what the hel is wrong.”
Less than an hour later I was sitting in Rhys’ study. A small candle flickering in front of me, taunting me to snuff it out. I pulled and pulled for any of the small dark tendrils to do so but found nothing. Sweat was beginning to form on my brow with how hard I was concentrating.
Rhys huffed in frustration at my lack of progress. “It was easier teaching Feyre to read.”
“Then by all means, go back to that. I’d love to see her throw another shoe at you.” I bit back at him and he just rolled his eyes.
“Try again.” He went right back to business, ignoring my statement. I really did try. I Have been trying. That rich darkness that normally lingered under my skin seemed like it was hidden behind a wall. Just out of my grasp, so close I could almost taste it, almost touch it. I yelped as I reached out towards it. Pain flickering through my body as if it had burned me. Rhys’ hand on my shoulder snapped me out of whatever had happened. Sweat broke across my skin and I flinched as I felt my magic fight against the wall inside my head.
“What’s happening?” I spoke to my brother. He just stared at me before I felt a phantom knock at my mental shields. I forced them open and almost screamed at the pain that flooded through me. I knew the moment he found it. Felt that sickening thread of magic that never released when the spell broke for the other high lords. Rhys’ presence in my head retreated and we could only look at each other. No words to be found between us.
“Fuck.” The first word he uttered and I somehow found it in myself to laugh.
“That bad?”
“Good news is there’s not a physical block. No magic stopping you.” So why did he still look like death froze over? “Bad news, you’re the block.”
“Go on?”
“I don’t fully know but it looks like your magic is being tied up by your own magic.”
“So, you’re saying. I’m the problem?”
“I’ve been saying that your whole life but yes, especially in this case.” He teased, trying to lighten the new tension in the air. I bite
“Well then that simply means you’re going to be stuck with me a lot more. That or I go to Helion.” He rolled his eyes at the mention of the other high lord, one who has been trying for the last few centuries to get me into his bed.
“Maybe.” shit. It must be serious if he’s actually willing to let Helion help. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come down to that.” He says solemnly and points back to the candle. I stare at him for a moment before sighing and trying to cover the light again.
We sit as I try again and again and again. Nothing besides a small puff of black smoke to let us know that I’m even trying. Right as I’m about to say something I see Rhys flinch and his eyes flare with anger. Only not at me, his eyes look far away as that anger homes in on whatever must have made his shoulders tense.
I see his eyes come back into focus and I don’t even have to ask before he’s spilling. “He hurt her.” I don’t need him to say who. “I can tell it’s nothing serious but I got nothing but pure fear from her.” Rhys had already explained that the bargain amplified the usual effects of the mating bond. That he could sometimes get whiffs of any strong emotion from Feyre. Fear, anger, mostly fear but as her nightmares have started to fade I haven't heard much about it. My stomach curls and I try to will my hands to not shake as my mind drifts to the endless possibilities of what could have happened.
“It’ll be okay. She’s strong.” The words felt wrong in my mouth and Rhys said the very thing I had been thinking.
“You were strong.”
“Well you can’t very well march in there and get her.” I saw the look on his face. “You can’t, we can’t. And she still doesn’t want us. Unless it feels like that first time…” He shook his head. So not as bad. Still bad, still awful enough for her to send fear down the bond but not bad enough that Rhys could only hear her screaming for someone to get her out of there. So we both let it go, ignored the thoughts that told every part of us to go help this girl from whatever Tamlin was inflicting. But even I knew that Tamlin’s anger comes from his love. That anger so wrapped in fear that something will happen that he almost wills those incidents into existence.
We spend hours trying to break whatever block is in my head until I’m grumpy and all but biting his head off at every little comment he makes. He bites right back at me and I know there's no point in this anymore, both of us too on edge to do anything productive. Throwing his hands up in surrender he doesn’t stop me as I storm out of his study. I run head first into Azriel on my way to my room, his hands resting on my arms so I don’t topple over.
“Training went that well.” He says with a small chuckle. The noise sends a low growl from my throat and he takes his hands off of me. “We’ll figure this out.” He says and I continue my path to my room, not staying long enough to see the concern in his eyes.
I was still grumpy by the time that dinner rolled around but I managed to pull myself out of bed. My head is pounding from the strain and whatever Rhys did inside my mind. I throw on the first thing I find, still in my thin nightgown I pulled on after my bath, and head down to dinner. I don’t say much and not even Cassian tries to cheer me up, all he does is remind me that I’m joining them for training in the morning. I don’t respond with anything other than stabbing the chicken on my plate with extra force.
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I struck the center of the dummy and looked over for Cassian for any semblance of approval. He gave me a bored look and I stomped over to the stupid thing and pulled all three of the daggers out of it. Cas wanted me to get back up to snuff with long range before he put a sword in my hand again. I had never needed the sword that I kept strapped to my back on the missions I would accompany Azriel on, always having my powers to stop anyone from getting that close in the first place. Between Azriel shadows and my blanket of darkness, very rarely did we ever need anything more than truth teller.
I grunted in frustration as the sharp metal flew through my fingers time after time, all of them hitting the center of the target.
“Fuck this Cas, I did the warm ups, I did the exercises. Let me fight.” I needed to do something more than this. If I couldn’t use my powers, if they never came back, I needed to be useful. In no world would I just sit around and let my friends risk death while I sat around playing with my maps. Cassian must have heard the desperation in my voice because he agreed.
We circled each other and I got a rare glimpse of Cassian with no restraint. This was the war general that scared people just by being on the battlefield. I tried not to let the frision of fear show as he surveyed every inch of me, seemingly reading my body language like I was screaming my next moves at him. I didn’t stand a chance. His fist made contact with my nose before I could turn out of the way and I fell to the ground. My hand went up and when I pulled it back, my fingers were sticky with my blood. Cassian was instantly in front of me, mumbling out apologies. I held up my hand to stop him from talking.
“Cassian.” A stern voice called out as I ran my hand along my nose again, feeling for any breaks. “What did you do to her?” Azriel’s voice was full of concern as he knelt besides Cassian.
“Alright bat brains. I’m not dying,” I started to stand up and they both reached out their hands to help me up, I swatted them away and brushed off the dust on my pants. “It’s not the first time I’ve been too slow before, and it’s not going to be the last.” They both stared at me and I rolled my eyes. “C’mon. I still have to beat you Cas.” He shook his head laughing and Azriel shot him a glare.
Cassian, never one to back down from a challenge, and never one to miss an opportunity to piss off Azriel, agreed to go back into the ring with me. He coached me through it this time, slowing down his punches to explain how to predict them and block them. All things that I knew but just needed more practice. By the end of the hour I was covered in sweat but I was able to block him without his guidance. Azriel didn’t leave either, hanging back to watch, adding his own little tips and tricks to help me get some advantage over Cassian but I still couldn’t get him to budge an inch.
“Do you want to get in with her then?” Cassian shouted to Azriel as he continued to assist me from the side lines. I made a motion for Cassian to stop as I tried to catch my breath. Placing my hands on my knees and sucking in screaming breaths.
“I think I’m done.” I panted out.
“If you wanted me to make you breathless princess, all you had to do was ask.” He winked and tossed a canteen full of water over to me. I drank half of it in one long gulp and forced myself to stand up straight. My muscles were already crying out in protest. Tomorrow was going to suck for sure.
The three of us walked back up to the house, laughing and joking and I felt proud of the progress I was making. Even if the dried blood still on my hands might have suggested otherwise.
---------------------
A month went by so fast, I had to tick off the days to make sure I was right.I woke up to Rhys preparing to collect Feyre from the spring court again. Rhys didn’t ask me to go with him this time, after that last flood of emotions he knew he would have a hard time containing himself let alone both of us.
I was already waiting at the house for when they got back, ready to play mediator if need be. They had barely materialized before my brother was fussing over Feyre. The two bickered back and forth but from the way she looked over herself, I knew even she could hear the worry in his voice. She had lost more weight since the last time she had been here. The shadows under her eyes creeped back onto her pale skin. “Eat breakfast with me.” He said and I shifted from my place in the living room. Mor was somewhere in the house after her visit to the Court of Nightmares yesterday. Probably still decompressing with the bottle of wine she took with her to bed.
I gave Feyre a small smile and she didn’t return it, but she didn’t glare at me either. It’s a step at least. The female in front of me gave a heavy sigh after weighing Rhys offer. The growl I heard come from her stomach seemed to make the decision for her. I didn’t follow them, if she had wanted me to I would have been able to tell. So I stayed close enough that I could swoop in and save her from my brother's overprotectiveness if need be. The glimpses of their conversation I caught weren’t the best but I stilled completely as I caught,
“I was tortured, beaten and fucked until only I could tell myself who I was, what I was protecting. Please- help me keep that from happening again. To Prythian.” My heart ached at the words. He had had it so much worse than I did, regardless of what people might believe. I could see it on his face during some of his bad days, the scars of what Amarantha did to him. I didn’t listen to her response as I walked to my room.
I found Feyre the next day as I had the last time, hunched over the table with more lines from Rhys to read. She was copying them in better handwriting than she had before. When I approached she didn’t so much as look up at me. I called her name gently and still nothing. So I took that as my sign to let her be. Rhys had gotten called to the war camps later that day.
“Just look after her please. I know she’s fine but let me know if either of you need anything.” He blabbered as I all but pushed him out the door.
“We’ll be fine, you overprotective mother hen.” His face fell slightly and I couldn’t stand that look on his face. “I’ll let you know if she needs anything, okay? Now go be a High Lord.” I saw a hint of a smile as he winnowed out of the house.
I tried to stay out of her way. Whatever bit of goodwill she had allowed me last time seemingly disappeared. So I kept bringing her books when she ran out of the ones Rhys had given her, brought her food and left her to her own devices. Today, she didn’t give me a glare as I sat down in the armchair on her left. I opened my own book without giving her a second glance. The small hmph she made was the only indication she had even noticed my presence. She didn’t want to talk and quite frankly, neither did I, perfectly content with getting lost in our own books.
It was around midday and the sun was just starting to peek through the heavy curtains of the library when I felt Rhys appear in the room. In his hands were trays of food which he presented to Feyre. A small thank you left her lips and I wanted to smack that smug look on Rhys face as he teased her. But then I saw his face get serious and I suddenly felt very much like I was intruding on a private moment. “Tell me how I can help you.” His voice was scratchy and I knew he was trying to hold back tears, to keep the conversation casual enough that she wouldn’t shut him out again. I truly did try to tune them out but these were the same things I had been wanting to say to her all week but couldn’t find the strength.
“If you fall apart then the bitch wins. All of that is for nothing and she wins.” Rhys said plainly and Feyre flinched before going back to her book. I could tell that she was talking to him in her mind. My eyes grew wide when I saw that slight layer of frost cover the book cover. Rhys barely had time to dodge said book as it was thrown right at his head. It bounced harmlessly to the floor and I stifled a laugh. The laugh died in my throat when I saw the flicker of flames in her palms and I tried to reach my mind out to Rhys, he all but threw me out.
Feyre and Rhys left later that day. I didn’t offer to come with, didn’t want to come with. Just like last time when Rhys returned to Velaris, he stalked to his office and hid out for the rest of the evening. I only got close enough to the door to leave a plate of food outside before retreating back to my side of the house. His emotions pouring through the door were enough to give me a headache, the way it felt like I was walking into a brick wall. I didn’t try to talk to him for the rest of the day. Instead choosing to pull my attention back to the map in my study.
I had been neglecting it to focus on Feyre and Rhys but I knew it’s just because I wasn’t getting anywhere. No matter how many books I read, I couldn’t think of anything that would help us win this war. Not without all seven courts working together and I knew Hel would freeze over before that ever happened.
So I read until my eyes became blurry and heavy. My head had gotten so heavy like the words were getting stuck and wouldn’t leave. When I felt my eyes starting to close and knocking on the door jostled me awake. I saw the shadows before I saw him, too tired to notice that they had time to take in my current state and report back to Az.
“You should take a break.” He said as he went to pull up a chair at the table I was sitting at.
“I can’t take a break when I haven’t found anything yet.” I whined at him. “I’m supposed to be good at this, I am good at this. Or at least I was.” I slumped in my chair and I saw that familiar look of concern flash through his warm amber eyes. He sat there, I could almost see the gears in his brain turning, his shadows starting to swirl around the floor like soothing waves. I stared at them and felt my mind calm slightly. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, wings flapping behind him.
We just sat there in silence for a few moments and then he stood up suddenly. My eyes tracked the movement, following his arm as he extended a hand to me. It was like my brain short circuited at the gesture. He had to clear his throat before I snapped out of it and I timidly placed my hand in his. He led me out of my office and I felt his shadows on my heels. “Where are we going?” I laughed at how ridiculous this must look, one of the fiercest Illyrian warriors towing someone behind him like an excited kid.
“Just be quiet. You’ll know when we get there.” His own voice full of an almost giddy excitement. So I let him pull me along. All the way outside until it clicked. There was a little patch of grass beside the Sidra that I loved to sit by when the weather was just starting to turn warm. Our little group used to spend free days out on that field, just soaking in the warmth. He gave me a proud smirk when we finally reached that stretch of grass. “Now, you’re going to sit and just enjoy being out here.”
“Is that an order?” I teased and he didn’t miss a beat.
“If that means you’ll actually do it, then yes.” I sat and looked out over the river. The lights and sounds of the city walk could just trickle in, becoming a lovely hum in the back of my mind. I patted the spot next to me and Azriel sat beside me. I curled my knees up to my chest and rested my chin on top of them. Just looking at the city I loved so much. We didn’t talk, Azriel was always good for that. He knew when I needed the quiet. The sound of the small waves helped clear my head and after a while I felt my shoulders sink down, the tension lightening. It was still there of course but became more manageable as I could smell the water and Azriel’s pine and fresh air scent. It wrapped its way around me and held me like my favorite blanket.
“Thank you.” I said, breaking the comfortable silence. We didn’t look at each other, still staring out at the city just ahead.
“Of course. Anything for you,” He cleared his throat, “For one of my friends.” I bit down the string at that little word. I fought the urge to put some distance between us at the feeling that flooded me. The cruel reminder of just exactly how he saw me. So I just pulled my legs in tighter and ignored all the thoughts of him that began to take over.
We didn’t head back to the house until sundown. The pair of us walked under the flickering faelights that lined the streets. It still blows my mind how much the city changed while I was gone. I told him that much. And he shrugged off the tiny complement.
“Rhys and I will never be able to thank you enough for how much you all did while we were…gone.” My voice felt tight as I finished, “You kept our home safe when we couldn’t.” He turned to look at me and went to say something but stopped himself. His face looked slightly pained, in that concerned way he always managed. He shook his head slightly.
“You did more than we ever could. You and Rhys gave us a chance to have something to protect in the first place.” In his words, I was pulled back to that night when it had all gone to shit. How Cassian and Azriel were out dealing with the camps and how I couldn’t convince Rhys not to go so I insisted that I come along. I had to beg him to let me come with him and he still wasn’t happy about it. We walked right into a trap and before most of his power had been ripped away from him he wiped the memory of Velaris from everyone who was under the mountain and let our friends know what was happening, how they couldn’t come after us without leaving Velaris unguarded.
Azriel’s small nudge to my shoulder pulled me back to the present and his eyes asked the question before he needed to.
“I’m okay.” But I felt how my arms had wrapped around myself but he didn’t say anything about it, letting me have my space. We reached the house again and I could hear Cassian and Mor’s voices floating down the hallway. The sound alone plastered a smile on my face. Azriel followed behind me as I rounded the corner and Cassian all but cheered when he saw me. “There you are princess, we went to pull you out of your study but it seems someone beat us to it.” He gave me a small wink and I laughed at the joke behind it. I shook my head as I sat down next to Mor who was already pouring me a glass of wine.
Rhys spoke to me across the table, “I peaked in and saw the map, tomorrow if you’re up for it I want all of us to go over it.” I nodded and he smiled at me. And we all ate and joked and I left the love I felt for the people in the room washed over me like the waves in the Sidra.
---------------------
“So if it comes down to war. Who do we have?” Rhys turned to Cassian and myself. We were all sitting around the map I had been working on, face grim as I explained the various markings.
“The Illyrians don’t have a choice. The court of nightmares should. We kept up pretty well with Dawn and Day. Winter…” His voice trailed off. I still remember Kallias’ face as the news broke of the attack on Winter. The thousands of babes dead by Amarantha’s hand. The pure loathing his face held as he looked at Rhys.
“I can talk to them.” I had always liked Kallias. And from the little bit I’ve heard since our return home, he finally married Viviane after being friends since childhood. Viviane was sweet and her, Mor and I had been known to get ourselves in trouble when together. If she would listen, Winter would come around.
“Autumn and Spring are lost causes.” Cassian sighed beside me, slumping down in his chair.
“Tamlin is delusional enough to think it would keep him safe.” And keep Feyre safe. But I didn’t say that outloud. “Beron is…well Beron. Unless we think we can pursue one of the brothers to take him out of the equation, I think it’s better to not plan for them.”
“Summer?” Rhys asked pointedly ignoring Cas’ words on the other seasonal courts.
“Tarquin is new and young. He’ll side with the majority. But I think I could talk to him and at least see where his loyalties lie.” I had only talked to the new high lord a few times during our time under the mountain. He seemed nice enough, one of the few people who was even willing to talk to me at all. No fear of the role I had been forced into and hoped he would side with us. Hoped his newness wouldn’t scare him into the easy choice.”
“I don’t like the idea of having two courts fighting against us.” Azriel finally spoke up. I had almost forgotten he was in the room but his shadow currently sitting at my feet should have been reminder enough. “Hybern has the armies he needs and if he has the cauldron….”
“So what do you suggest?” My brother asked, head in his hands.
“We talk to them. Let them know that we won’t win this if we’re not unified. Remind them that we fought a war once to avoid this very thing and some courts were on the wrong side of history then and would be now.” I spoke plainly, it was the only answer. If it had been anyone else the idea would have been shot down. But Rhys just let out a heavy breath and nodded.
“We’ll wait until we’re sure. Some courts will refuse to believe there will be a war until it’s staring them in the face.” The tone in Rhys’ voice letting us know this meeting was over. We all stayed in the room, the same exhausted look sat on our faces. “Good work.” Rhys said to me as he studied the map again. “You got all of this from books?” I had been too young to remember most of the war, let alone fight in it. But at least someone had thought it smart to recount all of it in very exact detail, I just managed to translate to current day Prythian. Rhys was silently nodding to himself as he really studied the map. The others slowly filter out of the room, leaving Rhys and I alone studying the map.
“And these?” He pointed to the orange marks I had drawn all over.
“Trade agreement routes, the thicker the line, the more movement there is through that path. They would be the most vulnerable areas since people know them so well. They’re also normally the quickest way between courts.” I pointed out more of the lines and pins. I had so much marked off, down to what ways the rivers flowed and where their currents changed. Rhys just drank in all the information I threw at him, only nodding along to the explanations. I was about to start on another part of the map before I saw his face freeze.
Rhys had completely stilled besides me. That all-too-familiar far-away look on his. When I raised my eyebrow at him, “What is it? Is it…” He didn’t wait for me to finish, instead he let me into his mind and I almost flinched at whatever feeling Feyre was sending him. The crushing agony and pure terror. It was a feeling I knew all too well. These weren't the few stray glimpses Feyre had sent him while they were separated. This was the very thing all of us were holding our breath for, hoping it never happened.
“Rhys we can’t just ignore it this time.” I spoke, already leaving the table. His hand wrapped around my wrist, making me pause.
“If you storm in there, Tamlin has every right to declare a war.”
“And we’ll have every right to kill his sorry ass. Something that we could have done decades ago.” I spit back at my brother.
“Please.” His voice shook with fear. Scared for Feyre and maybe for me. I put my hands up in surrender. I couldn’t argue against the tone in his voice.
“So how do you want to do this then?” I asked him and we started planning.
In less than 10 minutes Mor had winnowed right on the border of spring and summer. Rhys had insisted that she come along to help. Her status would help blanket us from any repercussions. Plus her powers would come in handy if any of the guards found us. So her and I snuck into that manor I had sworn I would never see again. Do it for Feyre. Be brave for her. I said to myself as my own terror rose to a fever pitch.
I could see the darkness already pouring out of the house. My anger quickly turned into fear. What did he do to her? The voice in my head screamed. Rhys had already broken the wards and whatever was locking her inside the house. Mor knocked out the guards before they could spot us. When we finally entered the house my blood ran cold. Sitting in a ball of inky darkness was Feyre. Her screams pierced something deep inside of me. I looked around and locked eyes with Alis. Her eyes wide as she took in my face.
“He locked her in the house. I tried to…Please just keep her safe.” Was all the older fae had said to me.
My heart warmed at the concern in her voice. The same concern she had once shown me. I nodded and walked towards Feyre. Whatever darkness she was wielding seemed to only be for her and as I shook her shoulder, gently saying her name they retreated slightly. I looked over to Mor who only gave me a small nod. Taking her cue, I picked up the shaking female and was startled by how light she felt. Mor spoke up from beside me. “Your guards are going to have a hell of a headache when they wake up.”
Alis nodded in understanding and I added. “Don’t tell him where we took her. Please.” And for a second I felt just as broken as the female in my arms. I knew she would tell him, and would have to tell him but a small part of me wished she wouldn’t. But that was unfair to expect of her. It reminded me too much of the same hope I had when I left. Face sunken in and heart broken as I begged her to not tell Tamlin I was leaving. No one was there to help me and I’ll be damned if Feyre ever felt that pain. I didn’t say another word as Mor winnowed us right in front of the border. It felt like I could finally breathe again as the scent shifted to ripe fruit and salt water that marked us as safe. Marked us in summer. Feyre shifted in my arms and mumbled something softly.
Mor soothed a hand through her hair. “You’re free.”
Rhys quickly scoped Feyre from my arms without so much as a word. He looked at Mor and I
“We did everything by the book.” Rhys nodded before I felt the air whoosh around my ears and I knew we had made it home. Rhys deftly climbed the stairs to take Feyre to her room and I just stood staring at my brother back. I blocked out the memories that began to rise to the surface. The scar on my arm prickled and when my other hand raised to scratch at the angry white lines that trailed down my forearm, Mors hand wrapped against mine. Grounding me in the present.
“She’s free.” She repeated to me.
“Thank the mother.” I responded as I started to climb the stairs suddenly bone tired.
Feyre didn’t emerge from her room that night or the next morning. More than once I found myself standing outside her door, hand held up to knock but some part of my brain told me not to. Rhys hasn't left her side the whole time she was asleep. Whatever magic she had used in the house had exhausted her and I felt my heart pang for her. How alone she must have felt, how scared she must have been to be locked in that house. I remember my simple panic the first time I went to the basement of the townhouse. How it transported me back to under the mountain, I couldn’t imagine how it felt to be locked away again.
When I finally did see her, she seemed to have gotten a little color back. Enough so that she was able to argue with Rhys again. I didn’t linger this time to hear the fight, letting them duke it out in private. But as Rhys turned the corner, I knew something that happened. Something important.
”We’re going home.”
If someone had told me two months ago that Feyre would be standing in the living room of our home in Velaris I would have probably keeled over laughing. But here we were, Feyre’s eyes flickering from spot to spot in the house. I couldn’t get a read on her face but before I could even process that, I heard a pounding on the door. Cassian’s voice filtering through the wood, already complaining. Rhys shot me a look that said deal with them please. He tried to hide it but I could tell he was waiting for Feyre’s reaction to her surroundings. A hint of anything to gauge how she was feeling. He needed her to like this place like he needed to breathe. So I excused myself from the room and slipped out the front door.
”Are you serious Cas?”
”I want to meet her. She’s right there, my brothers m-” I cut him off, blocking both him and Azriel from trying to peek into the house. They could easily push right past me but stayed a healthy distance.
”Do not finish that sentence. Do you want all of Velaris to know?” I whispered screamed at him and he rolled his eyes.
”I promise you drama queen, no one’s up this early. I don’t want to be up this early.”
After a few minutes of us bickering back and forth, Rhys opened the door and said to us, “Are you all just going to stand there?”
Cassian all but trampled me trying to get in the house. I laughed when I saw his crestfallen face as he noticed Feyre was no longer in the room. “She was here right?” He spoke to the room.
”Maybe she’s scared of your good looks Cas, can’t have her falling in love with the wrong Illyrian bastard now can we?” I shot Rhys a wink and he growled lightly.
”She’ll meet you when she’s ready.” Was all he said before he rangled all of us into the dining room.
Feyre slept for the rest of the morning. She came down the stairs dressed in Night Court clothes and I felt my breath catch in my throat. The way they seemed to compliment her well enough and I had to bite my tongue to prevent me from pointing that out. Rhys met her at the door and shot me a vulgar gesture at my sugary sweet, “Be safe kids.” That I called out from my spot on the couch. I sat on the couch until the sun started to set. I had just got to the good part and debated even going to the dinner at all but I was dying to see how Feyre would handle our crazy family. If she had any chance at surviving here, she needed to like them or they would drive her crazy. Although from Cassian’s earlier words that might be the case either way. So I groaned and pulled myself off the couch, pulling on the first thing that I saw and winnowed with Mor to the front steps of the house.
Azriel and Cassian were waiting to fly us up. Cassian wrapped his arm around Mor’s waist and Azriel did the same to me. I hardly felt my feet leave the ground before he was already placing me down in front of the door. I had not had the heart to come here since I’ve been home. Too many memories for me to want to come alone and Mor grabbed my hand as she pulled me through the threshold. We had just settled in before I heard the faint trails of Rhys and Feyre voices outside the door. I couldn’t stop the two males from bounding to the door, they flung it open to reveal a very annoyed looking Rhys. I held my breath as she stood in the doorway, eyes searching for something and she landed on me. She squared her shoulders but Cassian was already speaking.
”I promise we won't bite.”
Last I heard, Cassian, no one has taken you up on that offer.” And I laughed as Feyre’s face blanched. I didn’t miss the way the female's eyes raked over the Illyrians as they stepped into the light. I tried not the bristle as her eyes lingered on Azriel just a fraction longer than I would have liked. Rhys introduced the two and it was Feyres response to one of his questions that made me feel a frision of pride.
”How the hell did you manage to survive this long without anyone killing you?” She would fit right in and Cassian’s booming laugh told me that very same thing. Armen had appeared almost out of thin air as we all made our way to the table.
Feyre was slowly filled in about how the three brothers had met. Her eyes flickered to me during the story.
”Where do you fit into all of this, besides being his sister.” She quickly added. Everyone seemed to be waiting for me to answer.
”I mean there's not much else to it besides that. He got stuck with them so I did too. I nearly knocked Cassian's teeth in the first time I met him and I’ve been stuck with them ever since.” I stuck my tongue out at Cassian who rolled his eyes.
”You mean you broke your fist trying to, princess. I had to nurse you back to health and you were helpless but to fall for my charm.” Now it was my turn to roll my eyes and I fought the urge to throw my bread across the table at him. If it wasn't for Feyre I would have. The rest of the stories and tales flowed out and, much to Feyre’s credit, she didn’t falter in the slightest. She interjected at the perfect moments, making jokes that had everyone roaring with laughter. Then the tables were turned onto her and Cassian was asking her about her life. After she had finished she turned to Rhys.
’I accept your offer- to work with you.” And I wanted to scream and cheer. I felt no such joy from Rhys as he started.
”Good because we start tomorrow. Hybern is starting this war and he’s going to bring back Jurian to help him.” I felt a shiver run down my back. Rhys had neglected to tell me that part. In an instant the lighthearted conversation was thrown to the side and Cassian launched into full general mode.
I tried my best to keep up with this new bit of information, how it would throw a wrench into any attempts of a plan. I missed the conversation that followed, mind already trying to figure out the adjustments I would need to make to the map in my office. Armen managed to snap me out of my thinking.
”The Bone Carver might indeed be willing to talk to her.” She pointed a finger at Feyre and I went to argue against the ancient female. Rhy had beaten me to it.
”Your choice, always your choice, Feyre.” and I tried to keep the fear off my face as she answered.
”How bad could it be.” Cassians’ answer had her face pale as a ghost and it was clear dinner was over at that moment. The others reduced to arguing over the semantics and who would be doing what in preparation for their journey to the prison. My eyes suddenly felt very heavy at the sounds of their voices. Azriel’s gentle hand on my shoulder was the sign that the arguing had stopped at all. I didn’t need to be asked a second time and as he flew me back down to the ground below Velaris, I wondered if all of us would make it through the war a second time.
Next Chapter: Here
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Summary: After being a guest on the podcast, you thought your communication with Zach was over with, but that was until you got a certain texts from a certain someone.
Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, dealer!Zach, mentions of smoking weed, being high, friends to lovers, cuddling, cute actions, fluffy and smutty, unprotected sex, biting, hair pulling, handjob, fingering, sensual filth
Word count: 3.7k | not edited
Sorry this took so long, I’ve had writers block for days. I hope it’s okay, love yas! Enjoy! 🖤
╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗
You walk through the door, “Hello, hello.”
“Ahh!!” Tara says excitedly, “I so happy you’re here!” She walks over to you and you embrace her in a hug, “I’m so glad you reached out, again, thank you!”
“We’re so excited to have you.” Tara says as she leads you over to the seat, “You can have the honor of sitting next to Zach, he’s probably going to target you today anyway. I think he has a little crush on you.”
You roll your eyes laughing as you sit, “Yeah, I seen how he is. I watched a few videos to kind of catch up on everything.”
Zach and Jared walk in and Jared is the first to greet you, “Hey, y/n. How are you?” He walks over and you stand back up to hug him, “I’m good, busy. But good. How are you?”
He nods, “I’m good.” He steps out of the way and you gasp, “Oh my goodness.”
Zach smirks, “Sheesh, I know I’m attractive but no need to make it a big deal.” You shake your head as you walk over, laying a hand on the head of the dog in his arms, “I was talking about the dog.”
Zach nods ever so slightly and his voice is low, “I know.”
You smirk, scooping the dog from his arms, “You just lost your dog.” You walk back over and sit down to put on your headphones, hands going right back to love on the dog in your lap.
“So, this is your first time meeting Zach right?” Jared asks and you look up, giving him a nod, “Yep, first time, I mean. I think we’ve followed each other on Instagram for a little bit.”
Zach holds his hand up and tilts his head, “Oh, so we have decided to pretend like last night didn’t happen, got it.”
Your mouth drops and you gasp, “Zach.” You laugh, “Don’t do that.” Tara raises her hand, “Actually, y/n was with me last night.” She looks at you, “Can I say it!?”
You smile, nodding your head, “Yeah, go for it.”
“So for those of you who don’t know who y/n is, she has multiple brands, a swimsuit line, a make up line-“
Alyssa cuts Tara off, “Which are both really good by the way.”
You smile and blow her a kiss. She pretends to catch it and you laugh and Zach scoffs, “Get a room.”
“Wow. I don’t know who Zach is more jealous of today, Alyssa or Handsome for being in y/n’s lap.” Jared laughs and Zach sighs, “Have you ever heard of the term, think before you speak?”
“Have you?” Tara and Jared yell at Zach in unison and you cover hour mouth, “I’m so glad I showed up today.”
——
Followers in each others Instagram lists is what you and Zach have been to each other for a while.
You’d like his stuff when you seen it, vice versa.
You couldn’t lie when you said his posts didn’t put a smile on your face, or make your heart skip a little beat when he posted a picture he looked a little too good in.
You’ve been newly single these last few months, and you just knew that you were set out to get nervous around anyone you found attractive.
But Zach didn’t make you nervous.
He made you feel comfortable.
You felt like you knew him for as long as you followed him on insta. It was weird, but yet, so refreshing to just have someone talk and joke around with you.
There only thing that was serious about it, was the tension you hoped no one picked up on, but with being a, basically five star rated influencer, you had a fan base that picked apart every thing you did.
So in the long run, you wouldn’t be shocked if you woke up to you and Zach trending on twitter or have new edits posted that ship the two of you that your friends would send to tease you.
Your phone rings, pulling you from your thoughts.
You sit up from your bed and reach over, furrowing your brows when you see a number displayed across the screen.
You answer, kinda skeptical, “Hello?”
“Y/n?”
You pull your head back, slightly shocked, “Zach?”
“Yeah thank Tara for leaving her phone laying around.” He chuckles and you laugh, “You could have just asked for it, you know?”
He sighs, “Yeah, I don’t know why I didn’t just do that.”
You smile and tilt your head, “So, what’s up?”
He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, “Do you.. want to come over?” He quickly follows up, “Just to hang out.”
The words roll off your tongue with major ease, “I would love to just hang out with you.” You tease, “I’ll text you when I leave.”
——
You pulled back up to Zach’s, chewing on your lip as you text him, I’m here.
He responds back almost instantly, like he was waiting for you already, Come in through the studio door.
You get out, making sure you have everything before you walk towards the door. As you grow closer, Zach pushes it open, giving you a smile, “Hello again.”
“Hey.” You smile as you walk past him and into the house. He nods towards the steps and you follow him, making your way up to his room.
He motions for you to go in and you oblige, walking in, and you know his eyes are on your eyes, but you can only smile.
You turn around as he closes the door and he licks his lips, “So if I did my research right..” he walks over to his nightstand and opens the door, “C’mere.”
You walk around and your jaw drops as the sight in front of you, “Zachary Justice.”
His head snaps towards you, “What?”
You smirk, shaking your head, “What a plot twist you are.” His eyes look around the room, “Not following.”
You sit down next to him and you lean in, “Are you a..” your voice goes barely audible, “..drug dealer?”
He turns his head, his lips inches from yours, “I stay away from the harder shit, so..” he purses his lips, “that would just make me a, weed dealer then?”
You nod slowly, eyes flicking from his lips to his eyes, “I supposed it would, wouldn’t it.”
He smiles, looking back down at the box in front of him, “I can roll us a blunt if you want, a joint. Whatever you want, sweetheart.”
“Well, how m-“
“Mm.” He shakes his head, “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” You laugh slightly and he looks at you, a smirk toying with his lips, “Offer to pay. If I wanted you to pay, I would have gotten the money first.”
You bite your lip, “Okay.” You swallow, “We can just do a joint or something. Doesn’t have to be much.”
He nods, pulling a pre-rolled joint from a thick plastic bag, “Okay.” He nods towards the bed, “Make yourself comfortable.”
You look at the bed and back to him, “You.. you’re gonna smoke in here?” He nods, “Or whenever you’re comfortable. I usually just do it here while watching a movie.”
“Do they know?” You start to kick off your shoes, “Jared and everyone else?”
Zach nods, “Yeah, they get from me, so they keep it hushed.” He slips his shirt up over his head and walks over to you, placing the joint between his lips as he lights it.
He takes a drag and hands it to you, “I’m going to go get some snacks, tray is there. Remote is here. Make yourself at home, sweetheart.”
You smile, taking the joint from him, “Thank you, Zach.” You watch him walk out before you place the joint between your lips, taking a much needed drag.
You hold in the smoke, eyes glancing over the screen as you look at the movies. You tilt your head back letting out the smoke as you slowly feel the buzz of being high creep its way in.
You hear the door open and tilt your head up, “That was fast.” You take another drag, eyes watching as he walks around to his side of the bed.
He chuckles, setting down the stuff he brought, “Did you pick a movie?” He looks up and over to you, you nod, handing him the joint, “Uh huh. I was just-“
You pause as you watch him take a drag, “-waiting for you.”
He nods, “so nice.” He smirks back at you and hands you the joint. You press play as you take a third hit, really feeling relaxed now.
You move back towards the headboard, leaning up against it as you move around to get comfy.
Zach glances back and shifts over and back to lay between your legs, his arms hooked under, so his hands rest on top of your thighs.
You look down at him, smiling as you take another hit.
You reach down, placing the joint between his lips and he nods his head when he wants you to pull it away.
You sit up, putting the joint in the tray before you slowly lean down. Your free hand on his cheek as your press your lips to his, mumbling out, “Blow.”
He exhales and you inhale the smoke from his mouth.
You peck his lips quickly before sitting up to exhale, “Sorry. I’ve always wanted to do that.” You explain and he tilts his head back to look at you.
You glance down at him, “I had a feeling you’d be okay with it.”
“The only thing you had a feeling about today?” He asks and you shake your head. He bites his lip, nodding his head slightly.
You clench your jaw as each movement of his neck resting against your clothed crotch area sends shivers up your spine.
“I figured I’d take a shot because your eyes..” he smirks, “Your eyes said you were feeling it, too.”
All you can do is nod slowly. Your hand moves to his hand and your run your fingers through the brown stands as he stare up at you, “Talk to me, baby.”
His quiet voice makes you feel weak.
“I feel it.” You whisper out, eyes moving to his glossed over ones, “I’ve never.. felt this way with someone before.”
“It’s nice, right..” Zach laughs weakly, “When you fall so unexpectedly for someone and they feel the same way back.” His hands slide down to give your knees a squeeze and you clench around nothing from the action.
He knows he’s teasing you, but he’s waiting for you to make the first move. Or, for you to tell him to stop, which is something you won’t be doing.
He smirks, looking back at the tv. A little bit goes by and he’s now laying with his arms on either side of your body and his head rested on your shoulder.
His forehead is resting against your neck and you’re nervous now, and the urge to swallow is screaming at your loudly.
You don’t want to seem nervous, but if this goes you know in your gut it’s going, you can’t help but be nervous.
“You know.” Zach says, finally breaking the long silence. You hum in response and he chuckles slightly, “Weed.. be perfect together.”
You giggle slightly, “That’s cute.”
“Get it.. weed..” he laughs weakly and gets serious really fast, “Please don’t leave.”
“I’m not going to leave.” You run a hand through his hair, “You’re cute. You have good weed, and you make me laugh? Please. You’ll have to kill me to get me away from you.”
You feel him smirk and he pulls your body closer to him, “Good thing I don’t want a murder charge.”
You laugh and almost like muscle memory, plant a kiss to his forehead. Instantly, he retaliates with a gentle kiss to your neck.
Neck kisses are your weakness.
You test it again, planting another kiss on his head. He kisses your neck again, and again. And again.
You let out a little moan as he sucks gently, his teeth grazing your skin, “Mm, you like that huh?” Zach’s voice is low in your ear.
You nod, a hand sliding to the back of his head, “Yes.”
He starts kissing your neck again, his hand sliding up to push your sweatshirt up your stomach slightly. Your muscles twitch under the light brush of his finger tips and you gasp, whimpering out as you feel his teeth sink into your skin.
You moan, body pushing closer to his as he kisses up to your ear, “You sound so pretty.” He gently bites down on your bottom lip before his fingers slide to the bottom of your sweatshirt, “Can I go under?”
You raise your brows, “Such a gentleman.” Zach smiles, pecking your lips in between kisses, “I.. just.. want you.. to be.. comfortable.. and.. relaxed, baby.”
You go to sit up and he cups your cheek, bringing you back to him, “Let me do it.” He sits up and quickly but gently takes off your sweatshirt.
You bite your lip and lay back down, Zach lays back down besides your and slips his arm under your head as your leg goes over his hip.
Your hand moves to rest on his neck as your lips meet again, but this time the kiss was hungry.
His hand slides from your thigh to your ass and he pushes you in to meet his hips. You moan against his lips when you feel his hard bulge press against your clothed cunt, “Please.”
He moves his hand from your ass and brings it up to squeeze your boobs, going back and fourth between them.
You tilt your head back, moaning out as you grind down onto him, “Zach..” your tilt your head forward, “P-please.”
He slides a hand down between your bodies, leaning his back so he has room to slip his hand into your sweats and panties.
Your breathing grows rapid as you await the needed touch. His fingers slide down to press onto your clit and your breathing gets caught in your throat as your hips buck forward slightly.
“That what you want? Does it feel good, sweetheart?” Zach asks against your lips. You whimper out, “Feels so good..” you reach down to push his hand down a little further, “Need more of you.”
He waists no time fulfilling your request.
Two of his fingers slip into you, causing a groan to rip from his own lips, “Fuck, you’re so tight just around my fingers.”
Your eyes roll back as his fingers curl to reach that perfect little spot, “F-fuck.” Your chest pushes into his and he groans, “Can you cum for me?” He kisses your neck, “I want to get you off, sweetheart.”
“Close.” You whisper out, “Keep going.”
“Think you can take a third, baby?” Zach asks and you nod eagerly, “Please, please, please.” Your voice is whiney, “Fuck.”
You feel Zach’s two fingers withdrawal but they’re quick to return and you moan louder as the slight stretch you feel as he thrusts them into you slowly.
“F-fuck.” You gasp out, arching your back as Zach leans down and takes your nipple into his mouth.
His tongue flicking and swirling over sends you over the edge, squeezing his fingers and moaning continuously.
Your hands tangle in his hair and tug, earning a groan that vibrates your nipple that’s between this teeth.
He guides you through your high, kissing up to your lips before he pulls his hand out of your sweats.
You wanted more of him.
You grab the waist band of his sweats and tug on them, leaning in to have a turn with his neck. He groans as you kiss and lick upward, whispering quietly in his ear, “I want you to fuck me.”
His cock twitches against your hand, “if that’s what you want.” He whispers as he grips your hand and pushes it down harder.
You squeeze and pull your hand away so you can roll over to take off your sweats and panties. You turn back, shocked at how quick Zach was to take the rest of his clothes off.
“I know, I’m quick.” He smirks and grabs your arm, pulling you back into him. He pulls the blankets back up around your bodies before moving to roam the newly freed skin.
You tilt your head up, lips searching for his. You weren’t sure if it was just because of your connection with him, or the fact that you were high, but you feel so needy for him.
And Zach loved it.
He drapes your left leg over his hip as pulls you closer, his lips connect to yours. You moan against his lips as you feel the head of his cock brushing up agains your soaked opening.
Your nails dig into his back as you whimper, rolling your hips into his, “Baby.”
Zach grips your hips, pulling you down as he pushes his hips upward. You gasp, jaw falling slack as you feel him slide into you.
You look at him, brows furrowed as you slide your left hand to his cheek.
He breathes out quickly before smashing his lips to yours, “Fuck you feel so good.”
You moan against his lips, walls clenching his cock as he thrusts in and out at a slow pace. He had you feeling so good within a matter of seconds, the way you felt from the high mixing in made you feel like you were on top of the world.
Nothing mattered but Zach.
No busy work days.
No constant emails, calls, and texts.
Your world was silent for a moment, for the first time in a while.
“Fuck.” You whine out, digging your heels into the back of his thigh, “Gonna cum.” You smoosh your lips to his, moaning against them as you cum undone around him.
“That’s it, baby.” Zach whispers as his hands press harder into your body, “Just let go for me.” He presses his lips to your forehead before resting his own against yours.
He slides a hand up to your cheek, running his thumb over it as he groans lowly. You slide your thumb to his lips, pulling it down slightly as you moan out, your voice soft when you speak, “You sound so hot.”
He groans at your words, moving to bury his face into your neck as he thrusts into you deeper, “Keep talking, please.”
Your hand slides around to grip the hair at the nape of his neck, “You make me feel so good, Zach.” You gasp when you feel his hand slide down to rub on your clit, “Fuck.”
You tilt your head back and he lifts his head to attach his lips to your skin. You squeeze his cock, earning a moan from him.
You smirk slightly, “Does that feel good?” You tilt his head up to peck his lips and he nods, “Fuck, baby. Yes, so good.”
His hands grip your body and he rolls on top of you, your legs instantly locking ankles on his lower back, “Where do you want me?”
You arch your back, moaning out as he keeps his thrusts as steady as he can, “Just.. pull out if you can.”
He nods, connecting his lips to yours again. You drag your nails up his back, and he thrusts his cock into you, “Sh-“
You feel his cock quickly disappear from you before feeling his cum pool between your hips. He lifts his head from your shoulder and kisses your cheek before he gets up to get something for you to wipe off with.
Your eyes follow him as you regain your breath. He hands you a towel and you smile as you take it.
“So do you want to start the movie where you started distracting me or?” He looks at you with a smirk and you roll your eyes as you sit up, “Hey now. I’m not the one who started the neck kissing.”
“But you did start the kissing.. I mean, the whole sucking the smoke from my mouth?”
You feel your cheek redden and you fight back a smirk, “Mm.”
He nods, slipping on his sweats before bending down to grab his shirt for you. He crawls on the bed, “don’t think I definitely didn’t pick up on that little peck before you backed away “
You roll your eyes, laughing as you take and slip on the shirt, “whatever helps you sleep at night, honey.” You look over at him and he leans back, pulling you with him, “I’m sure hoping it’s you now, but.. yeah.”
You smile, leaning into his body and watching as he hits play, “If that’s what you want.” His hand moves to intertwined his fingers with yours, “If it’s what you want, too.”
You squeeze his hand, “It is.”
——
A little bit into the movie, you’re laying on Zach with your head on his chest and you let out a quiet sigh, “Thank you.”
His thumb moves over your shoulder, “For what, sweetheart?”
You laugh slightly, “Well, not only getting yourself hired as my new dealer.” You smirk and look up at him and he looks down at you, “Oh yeah? Who says I’m taking new clientele.”
You roll your eyes, “Please. I have you wrapped around my finger.”
“And I love every second of it.” Zach leans down and pecks your lips, causing you to smile and giggle slightly, “And for making me feel like a normal person for once.”
He brushes hair from your face, “I figured you could use a little time out of any sort of light, hence why it’s so dark in here if you didn’t- yeah.”
You reach up, laying a hand on his cheek, "Gosh, how lucky am I? You do have a sweet side, Zach Justice." You scrunch your nose, smirking slightly as he smiles at your joke, "Do you think people will judge me for falling for my weed dealer?"
He reaches up lazily hold your wrist as his head turns to press a kiss to your palm, “I only care what you think, baby.”
——
Thank you for being patient.. I’ve had major writers block this last week or so and I’m trying to push through it. Let me know how you liked it!
As always, I love you all! Thank you for reading!🖤
Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!
#samandcolby-ownme#Zach justice#Zach justice smut#zach justice x reader smut#dealer!zach justice#dealer!zachjustice#dealer x reader#dirty Zach justice#zach justice fluff#zach justice dropouts podcast#zach justice fanfiction#zach justice fanfic#zach justice x y/n#zach justice dropouts#zach justice x reader#Zach justice smut one shot#famous!reader#famous!y/n#influencer!reader#smut#fluff#smut writer#fluffy smut
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Jilted (not) Lover [Mitsuya Takashi x Reader]
Pairing: Mitsuya Takashi x GN!Reader
Summary: Takashi is your best friend (who you have some more than friendly feelings for); so you don't understand why he never seems to want to spend time with you anymore.
Warnings: mild misunderstandings, kissing, no gendered terms for reader; reader is a bit insecure, and Takashi is a little less emotionally mature than normal.
Word Count: ~2,100
Notes: wasn't feeling good so I finally sat down and wrote an idea I've had for a while. Probably needs more editing but I want to let it finally fly free
[Ao3 Link]
You thought nothing of barging into your best friend’s room; after all, he gave you a spare key for a reason. “Takashi!” you called excitedly. “They let me off work early today! Do you wanna maybe go out and do something? I heard there was a new—”
You were cut off before you could even finish. “I’m sorry,” Takashi said, not even bothering to raise his eyes from the patterns in front of him. “I really need to finish this today.”
“Oh,” you said, deflating slightly. “Well, I could just hang around here if you want some company. I can help too!”
Still, you received barely any acknowledgement. “I’ve got it, I just need to focus. I’ll see you later, though.”
Your smile felt brittle. “Okay, sounds good. I’ll go see Yuzuha then. Don’t forget to show me your new design when you’re done.”
The door clicked shut softly behind you.
Later, you heard from Yuzuha that Takashi went out to the arcade with Hakkai that same day. You were hurt, but you wanted to think the best. Takashi probably just finished early and assumed you were busy. It was nothing.
Except it wasn’t.
-
Ever since the two of you met in middle school, you had never gone more than a few days without hanging out. Throughout high school you basically lived at his house, becoming almost like another sibling to his sisters. Even once you both graduated and got different jobs, the two of you spent most of your free time together. (Enough time together for you to develop a horrible infatuation with him, at the very least.)
And yet, for two weeks straight Takashi had been completely blowing you off.
He was always busy with last minute designs, or he had to take his sisters to something, or he already had plans with Draken or Hakkai or the old Toman members. Normally, he would ask you to tag along, but he barely talked to you other than to let you know he couldn’t see you or spend time with you.
You never said anything, keeping a nonchalant tone around him. But god, did it hurt. You didn’t know what you did wrong to deserve this treatment; you couldn’t remember anything. Maybe he had just finally gotten tired of you and was trying to let you down easy.
You did your best to ignore those thoughts. It’s Takashi, you thought. If there was something wrong, he would communicate with you. It was probably nothing. (You needed to tell yourself that to keep from breaking down.)
-
Even though your relationship with Takashi was at a standstill, you still talked to his sisters.
Today, you had come over to make the girls lunch before they left to go hang out with their friends. Takashi hadn’t come out from his room when you called.
[“It’s fine,” you said, “I know he’s busy.”
The girls gave each other a look when they thought you weren’t paying attention. At least these Mitsuyas noticed something was up, you thought bitterly.]
They were long gone, after thanking you for the food and each giving you an awkward teenager hug on the way out. You have the rest of the day free, so you take your time cleaning the dishes, in the pathetic hope that Takashi will come out and you two will go back to normal.
You think that your prayers are answered when you see him come down the stairs. He seems a little surprised to see you still there, and he gives you a small, distracted smile. Your heart flutters as you smile back.
You think he’s coming towards you, but he walks right by the kitchen and heads towards the door instead. “Thanks for making lunch for the girls. I’m sure it was great,” he says, lingering for a moment. “You can leave the rest of the dishes; I’ll get them when I come back.”
“Oh. Where are you going?” you ask. You can hear a nearly imperceptible buzzing in your ears. You wonder if you’re angry or just sad; it’s hard to tell sometimes.
“Just out with Draken. I’ll see you later, yeah?” He’s already opening the door to leave.
You try to keep your composure, but the way you slam the plate as you set it on the counter is telling. “Yeah. See you later, I guess.” You wince. Even to your own ears, you sound bitchy. And you were doing so well in keeping it straight...
There is a second of hesitation, and then the door closes. You busy yourself with drying the remaining dishes, not bothering to look up. Takashi probably left already.
But then you hear his footsteps as he comes into the kitchen. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks.
You still don’t look at him. You hate how concerned he sounds. Because of course he noticed how snotty you sounded; it wasn’t subtle. And Takashi was nothing if not a mediator, so he would obviously want to talk it out. But now, even after praying for the barest scrap of his attention back, you want nothing more than for him to leave you alone. You aren’t ready for whatever sort of conversation this is going to be.
On one hand, you are still hurt by how he treated you, how he hung out with you less and less as he replaced you with Draken and Hakkai. On the other hand, you feel like you’re being nothing but a spoiled brat. Takashi doesn’t owe you anything; he’s nice, so this is probably his own way of letting you know that you were too clingy and that he needed space while trying to spare your feelings. You just don’t want to hear that out loud.
At this point, you can feel yourself getting worked up. Your own thoughts buzz in your head like a swarm of angry locusts, rattling to the ever-quickening beat of your heart in your ears. You don’t quite know if you want to cry or scream.
He’s right in front of you now; you can see his shoes sidle up next to your slipper-clad feet on the kitchen floor as you valiantly avoid eye contact.
“C’mon, talk to me,” he says, voice softening even more. Because of course he can tell you are getting more upset.
“Just go,” you say. You sound muffled in your own ears. “Go hang out with Draken, or Hakkai, or your other gang friends. I’m fine. Leave me alone.”
“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s up.”
“Oh, now that I want you to leave me alone, you won’t.”
“Hey, what is that supposed to mean?” He sounds a little offended now, and that just makes you angrier.
You spin around to face him for the first time. You can see how his eyebrows furrow, purple eyes glistening with concern as they take in your expression.
You lose your grip on your emotions. “Oh, what does that mean? I mean you’ve been ditching me for weeks now! Every time I come around, you’re too busy, or you already have plans with someone else!” You take a deep breath, trying to rein yourself in. “Look, if you don’t want to be around me anymore, just say something. Not any of this ‘hinting’ bullshit. Just…just say something…because I honestly don’t know what’s going on, Takashi.”
Your anger burnt through you quickly, like a flashfire, and you can feel your eyes starting to water.
Takashi looks stricken. One of his hands comes up to grip yours, using it to pull you into a tight hug. It only takes one murmur of your name, spoken gently into your hair as he tucks your head underneath his chin, for you to fully break.
There are tears streaming down your face now. You start to babble. “You’re my best friend, Takashi,” you say, pitifully. “I miss you.”
You feel his arms tighten around you, until you can almost feel your bones grinding together. It kind of hurts, but you are just happy to be held. His grip loosens soon enough, and he pulls back so he can look you in the eyes.
“I fucked up.” He smiles sadly at you. “I never wanted to make you feel like that. You’re my best friend to…but I couldn’t stay like that, and I didn’t know what to do about it.”
You feel your heart drop; you don’t understand. “What’re you trying to say?”
He lets out a sigh, and then reaches to clasp both your hands in his. His eyes dart around the room, nervously, before settling back onto yours. There is a quiet intensity in them that he only has when things are serious. “I want to be more than friends. I like you…romantically. I realized it a few weeks ago…you were always so special to me, and I didn’t understand why until Draken pointed it out to me.”
He let out a light chuckle. “I treated you differently than I did everyone else because I had—have—a crush on you. I didn’t know what to do about it, so I started avoiding you. I thought I would blurt out something that would ruin our friendship. I didn’t think about how it would affect you. I’m so sorry.”
You can’t believe what you’re hearing. It seems so inconceivable that he would return your feelings. You don’t even know what to say, so you focus on the end of his short speech. “So much for being the emotionally intelligent one, huh?” you say, tone lighter than it has been this whole time.
He lets out a self-deprecating laugh, tilting his head down. “Yeah, yeah. Guess I’m better with other people’s problems than my own. But cut me some slack, this is the first time I’ve been in love with someone before.”
You freeze. “Love?”
He already told you he had a crush on you, but this brings your thoughts to a halt. Love is a much more serious claim than a simple crush.
Takashi seems to think so as well. His face shutters. It’s clear he didn’t mean to say that much, but he doesn’t back down. “Yeah. Love. But it’s okay you don’t feel the same way. I’m good with just being friends. Or whatever makes you comfortable. Um. I owe you that much after being such a shithead, huh?” He looks uncomfortable, like he is just waiting for you to reject him. Like it’s inevitable.
You give him a sharp flick on the nose. “Idiot. Who says I don’t feel the same way.”
“…You do?”
You let out a snort, fighting to keep a grin off your face. “Like I wasn’t pining after you for years. God, Takashi, I follow you like a lovesick puppy, and you didn’t catch a hint?”
You open your mouth to say something else, but you’re swept back into his arms before you can. The two of you are face to face now; from here, you get the full force of his blinding grin. He’s smiling so wide that his eyes are nothing more than crescents of purple, his pretty eyelashes nearly brushing his cheeks. He looks breathtaking.
You break out into your own smile, unable to keep the happiness off your face. You feel so light, lighter than you have in a long time. The knowledge that Takashi loves you is like a shot of dopamine straight to your brain; you feel nearly delirious from the sudden rush of happiness.
“I love you,” he says. He sounds so tender when he says it, you can’t help but tilt your head up to press a kiss to his lips. It’s nothing more than a peck, but the touch of his soft mouth against yours sends sparks through your body.
“I love you too,” you say.
He looks at you in awe, before he leans down to steal another kiss from your lips, this one longer, and deeper.
You never want to leave; you would happily spend forever standing in the middle of his kitchen, trading heartfelt kisses and basking in the warmth of your love with Takashi.
-
(Draken wonders what happened to Mitsuya; he missed their hangout without so much as a “can’t make it” text. He can only hope the other boy finally got the balls to confess his feelings to you. He loves his sworn brother, but he’s getting tired of seeing Mitsuya avoid you. And he is definitely getting tired of hearing his lovesick ramblings. Well, if the two of you haven’t gotten together by now, Draken supposes he could always go with Yuzuha’s plan to lock the both of you in a closet until you worked things out.)
#mitsuya takashi x reader#mitsuya x reader#tokyo revengers x reader#tokrev x reader#takashi mitsuya x reader#mitsuya fluff#mitsuya takashi#tokyo revengers#gender neutral reader#gn reader#reader insert#romy can write
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I wanna go a bit full-circle with a post I did right after the first two episodes of ‘Fionna and Cake’ dropped - about the nature of Simon Petrikov’s sense of identity. And more specifically, with how his titular episode centered around the ways his deteriorating mental state and the new context of his life has really torn away at everything Simon used to define himself as.
Because Simon Petrikov used to be a lot of things. He was an antiquarian and an archaeologist, a man deeply fascinated by the concept of Magic and the supernatural in a mundane world that ridiculed him for it at every turn, an adventurous outdoorsman, and a deeply caring and fatherly man.
But when we meet him at the start of “Simon Petrikov”, he has lost all the passion for his job - especially as he now has to perform it basically as a living museum exhibit. He is now stuck in a word filled with Magic and feels like the only mundane thing in it. He is unable to handle the sort of dangers you would find in an Oooian camping trip. And he made a little girl cry.
And there’s one more thing Simon used to define his identity as, and that is the one he ended up clinging to more than anything in that one episode, even though it was just as decimated as every other facet of his old identity, and the one that ends up jump-starting the plot. And that is being Betty Grof’s other half.
So now, looking back at this second episode at the end of the series, it really feels appropriate that throughout his adventures Simon managed to rediscover these old elements of his personality, that all these aspects of his identity managed to get reinforced and validated…
For most of the series he was basically doing his old job again - travelling around, trying to discover and uncover an ancient artifact.
And you can really see how he regains his excitement for research.
And by the end of the show, he ends up really rediscovering a passion for his work (and also realized that this Living Museum Exhibit set-up is not conducive for his mental health, which is also a step in the right direction).
And he gets to show-off his understanding of Magic
And by the end of the show, Simon doesn’t feel like such an outsider in Ooo anymore. Probably helped by the fact his cellphone connection with Fionna gives him that little connection to 'normalcy' he was missing.
And he got to go on an adventure again, and handle it better than his Camping Trip Funtimes with Finn. Probably because he was around Adventure Novices Fionna and Cake, who were a bit closer to his ‘level’ than a crazy-seasoned adventurer like Finn
And by the end of the show, you can see him seeking thrills on his own terms.
And his ability be kind and fatherly and comforting was validated both by his constant interactions with Fionna - who isn’t a child, but is still a younger person who often needed his emotional support
And also by a very grim reminder of how truly important he was for Marcy.
And by the end of the show, he has managed to make a connection with Astrid, despite them starting out on such a sour note.
But 'Simon Petrikov, Betty Grof's beloved'? That aspect of himself did get some validation, via him getting to share their love story with Fionna
But it was not entirely validated, was it? That was the one aspect of himself that was actually challenged - the one part of himself was clinging to like a lifeline when he felt like he was falling apart, that was the one part of himself that he had to both recontextualize in his head and eventually realized he had to finally let go off…
#adventure time#atimers#fionna and cake#fionna & cake#at#at spoilers#fac#fac spoilers#f&c#f&c spoilers#cheers#casper and nova#adventure time fionna and cake#at fionna and cake#adventure time spoilers#adventure time simon#fionna and cake spoilers#fionna and cake simon#fionna and cake series#fionna and cake show#simon petrikov#simon adventure time#simon and betty#petrigrof
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(UN)PROFESSIONAL APPROACH. alhaitham
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ pairing; alhaitham x gn!reader
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ genre; enemies to lovers au (idiots to lovers but they really don't want to admit how whipped they are to e/o), slightly platonic relationship but make it flirty and hot.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ word count; 1.9k
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ summary; when alhaitham offered you a temporary job that just might require you to be by his side all the time, and you objected him without a second thought.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ content; sumeru archon quest spoilers!! this is written before his story quest just to satiate my self-indulgence so some things are not really in line with him in-game, profanities (when i say enemies, i really mean it), it is mentioned that reader is smaller than him, maybe alhaitham is ooc in this, sexual tension (slight suggestive ig but NOT nsfw), kissing, basically he puts reader in their place *wink wonk*
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ notes; his title of “acting grand sage” makes me feral for real.
"the acting grand sage is asking for your presence in his office," one of the scholars, or to be exact, alhaitham's personal and unofficial right-hand man firmly bowed to you slightly, his hand on his chest as of to give respect to you.
that kind gesture, however, weirded you out. the fact that you were no more than an ordinary adventurer casually strolling around akademiya's house of daena to find one of the books the matra asked you to find, and the fact that alhaitham knew you were here made you felt somehow unpleasant. what did the man want? why did he often interrupting the little peace you had?
it wasn't a great topic for gossip when almost everyone knew how horrible your term was with the akademiya's scribe. in fact, it was an infamous one. how you bickered with him most of the times, except that one time when he was serious enough to ask for your help during sumeru's worst case of scenario; helping lesser lord kusanali from the evil deed of former grand sage.
you couldn't remember the countless times others tried to stop you from strangling alhaitham back in the days. his words always found their ways to irk you, so much to the point that you dropped your mannerism to one of the respectable figures in sumeru, just to prove your point that you hated him as mush as he did.
the fact that alhaitham was offered to become the grand sage in the first place made you almost laughed dryly. sure, he had the brightest mind, but not the brightest attitude. especially not towards you.
someone liked him, heartless to his core, not even toning down his ignorance towards you, shouldn't even be the one that hold the highest position within akademiya itself.
maybe you were too harsh, but alhaitham was never kind to you since day one.
"what is it this time?" you sighed, the book in your hand was placed abruptly back in its place. you'd already made a mental note of where was the last place you searched to find that ancient book.
"please, sir alhaitham said it is a urgent matter," the scholar bowed again, and you almost huffed annoyingly. even this poor scholar was a hard-headed man just like his upper hand.
you didn't want to spend any more time with alhaitham, especially when you were running low on time for this one commission. the thought of discussing certain things with the scribe for more than 15 minutes already made you nauseous.
so, you did what you know was the best. to quickly meet him, and then moved on.
because that was how things had always been.
"you.." your voice was trailing off, and you seemed to not find your balance despite you first barged in to his office without a cue, and shamelessly sat down on his desk that was littered with papers—much to how you wanted to show him how rude you could've been to him. "you're seriously out of your mind," you shrieked, hopping down quite aggressively from his desk as he could only leaned back on his chair and arms spreading across his chest, watching tentatively at how you were literally throwing a tantrum in his office.
"if i am out of my mind, then so be it," alhaitham's voice was booming with seriousness—fuck, you thought. he didn't lie when he said that he wanted you to become his assistant for a while.
despite how messy his desk had became from your frustrations more than 15 minutes ago, he didn't do anything to stop you.
fuck him.
"i am seriously going to leave you hanging if you still insist on me taking up your proposal and shove down my throat like you want to," you almost ripped a paper apart, until you realised how doomed you would be if you accidentally messed up his work.
"have you ever think that this may be a good chance? if you want to leave, then i am not against it," alhaitham's calm yet scary voice sounded way too hoarse. and you immediately knew, your action was slowly getting on his nerves.
"i don't even know why you chose me," your eyebrow lifted, as if trying to mock him. the audacity of this man was way too much, he even had the courage to ask you to work for him? hell, no. "i am an adventurer, sir," you almost scoffed at the title people insisted you to address him. "if you could find me a position as a matra, then i am totally okay with it."
obviously you didn't want your skills to be of no use.
"i don't even know how, or why you are even capable of this position. and now you want me by your side almost all the time? i truly apologise, and i am kindly rejecting it," you rolled your eyes instinctively, and you just could see how your words made him shuffling from his intimidating position on his chair to him standing up to show how superior he was from you.
he was fucking looking down at you, as if his eyes were mocking you back. "you hate me this much?"
sure, the tension was unparallel when he boldly moved closer to you. and sure, you might be quite scared to see him up this close since he never really acted verbally on how annoyed he was at you. always used his words instead of actions. and you were truthfully slightly alarmed at the situation.
despite how dizzy you felt at the smell of him, you snickered. "yes, and what about it?"
your bravery was something alhaitham adored. cute, he thought. it was honestly disgusting how he found you cute when you already knew how different your physique was when compared to him.
"i have told you," he was way too close, oh no. your mind went overdrive, and you thought you might have pushed his buttons a little bit too far. "you can walk out of this office if you want to," he said sternly, almost trapping you from a distance only god knows how weak you suddenly felt against his desk and the overwhelming presence of him.
"but your pretty brain decided to be foolish, or being deliberately obtuse, in my own office and messing up my paperwork," he was at the breaking point. the way you eyed up his lips made him felt the sudden urge to shut your mouth up for running wild against him.
"and now you're questioning my capabilities?" he chuckled darkly, seeing how defeated you were behind those eyes, for the first time in his entire life, he would just admit out loud that he found you more interesting as a person rather than all things he had been documenting thus far.
"as much as i despised you for dragging my years of hard work along that sharp tongue of yours," his hand was suspiciously inching closer to the back of your head, and your body shivered at the subtle contact. "you really are endearing when being lost just like this."
you were trembling, a lot more than you were used to. something about him successfully trapped you in between his big arms, with his desk behind you, and the way you unknowingly puckered your lips in annoyance—or did you really do this on purpose? to irk him this much? he would never know—made everything in him to not actually did what his mind wanted him to. to finally show you how oblivious you were at the sheer amount of attention he had given to someone else besides his work for the past months. how oblivious you were at him and his feeling.
it was just like that since forever. how true feelings were unspoken of towards one another in this whatever push-pull relationship he had with you.
yes, he was a practical man with thousands of logics that didn't give a single care towards anybody else, but god, you were so fucking cute when you tried to act brave in front of him. when he knew you were attracted to him, much like him towards you.
it was a lot to maintain eye contact and continued with this facade. not when he was getting closer and closer, not when you could feel his warm breath hitting repeatedly against your nose and lips, not when you could feel how hot your surrounding atmosphere was, and totally not when you felt so bothered by the fact that one tiny move from you and you could feel his lips on yours.
"kiss me, sir. do it," it was a miracle, honestly, how you could still muster up some courage and dignity left in you to challenge him to not succumb into the thick air of tensions. his eyes told million stories behind them, and alhaitham's one side of his mouth could only curve upwards.
fucking cute, he thought. how you were so sure of yourself that this was a challenge for him, when in fact, he didn't mind losing if this was really the opportunity for him to finally stop your mouth from hurting his ego.
his hand now was undoubtedly gripped your nape tighter, and it was a sickeningly sweet gesture of him to massage your nape momentarily, as if to tell you that he would do it and you should relax for him.
everything about this man was driving you insane. you felt the way he caved in to the temptation as the heat radiating off of his body and into yours.
he stopped in his track, teasing you slightly by brushing his perfect and beautiful lips—you might be already smitten all over him if you really thought of him that way—against your parted lips. his breath hitched when he could also feel the way your ragged breath practically telling him that you wanted more than just a mere teasing.
he was the winner, after all, wasn't he?
"i know you want to shut me up. i dare you," you whispered against his annoyingly attractive face, feeling as if you would collapse if he continued on holding you like this in such a suffocating position. "kiss me."
"gladly."
his lips were on yours the moment you wanted to come back with a snarky remark. your breath was knocked out of your body from the intensity. the way alhaitham's official name plate on the desk was knocked over by you and onto the floor made him smiled against your lips as your eyes fluttered.
he really had you smitten, there was no doubt of it.
the metallic sound came from the clashing with the floor made you flinched slightly against his hold, and alhaitham took it as a signal to pull you by the waist, other hand purchased its way to push you deeper into him. for him to feel you more, for you to know how desperate you were despite those constant bickerings you threw at him just to get his attention, and they were effective for god's sake. because now alhaitham couldn't deny how relieved he felt that he could finally get you where he wanted.
maybe you really should have accept his proposal in the first place. it was definitely his fault for making you felt butterflies in your stomach right at this moment.
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#☆.works#yaepublishinghouse#twilighttheatre#alhaitham x reader#al haitham x reader#alhaitham x you#al haitham x you#alhaitham imagines#al haitham imagines#alhaitham fluff#al haitham fluff#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin x you#genshin impact x you#genshin imagines#genshin impact imagines#genshin fluff#genshin impact fluff
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Chapter Four: The Dungeon Master and Depression
***BEFORE YOU READ ANY FURTHER THERE IS GOING TO BE SEX, HEAVY BDSM THEMES, AND OTHER GENERAL NSFW THINGS. IF YOU ARE A MINOR/A BLANK BLOG/ A BLOG WITH NO AGE PLEASE DO NOT INTEREACT! IF I SEE IT, I WILL BLOCK IMMEDIATELY! THANKS!<3***
Pairing: Professor! Steve Harrington x Best Friends Dad! Eddie Munson x Fem! Reader
Warnings: Angst, alcohol consumption, Steve needs a hug, sad Steve, Eddie being the literal sexiest man on the planet, daddy kink, spit kink, spanking, cum eating, squirting, bondage, masterbation, Dom! Eddie, dirty talk, pet names, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it folks), BDSM themes, Eddie and Steve are in their early to mid 40s and reader is in her mid 20s
Summary: Eddie shows you a side of him you haven't seen before and things with Steve take a turn for the worst
Authors Note: Hi yall, i just wanted to say thank you for all the love on this series so far, ive really enjoyed writing it! also im very nervy about posting this chapter bc the smut is intense! i prommy it wont always be this intense but anyways ENJOY :D 9k
**Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three**
The next few days were spent mostly consoling Violet, she had made the decision to break up with Quinn. She didn’t trust them anymore and you didn’t blame her. You and Eddie took turns holding her when she cried or getting her to shower and eat food. It left little time for you and Eddie to spend time alone, never getting the chance to finish what you started after your date.
You could steal kisses here and there, but no heavy petting. It was driving you insane, it was like the universe was punishing you for dating your best friend’s dad.
After a few days she decided she needed to get out of Hawkins for a little while and went to spend a week at her mom’s. You made her promise to text her whenever she needed, and Eddie offered again to go over to talk to Quinn. She waved both of you off, reassuring you that she’d be fine. You drove her to the airport and off she went.
It made you feel guilty that you were so relieved that she had left, you felt like you were the worst best friend in the world. First dating her dad, and secondly happy she was leaving you after just having a brutal break-up.
What kind of friend are you?
You spent the next few days catching up on school, finally getting a chance to focus now that you didn’t have to worry about Violet as much. Not wanting to waste the very limited time the two of you had at Eddies, you spent the nights at his house covering the entire house in random textbooks and various versions of assignments. Sometimes the two of you would sit on the couch, he would watch tv while you studied, or you’d be in a chair out in the garage while Eddie played guitar and smoked. Or your favorite, cuddled up on his lap on his bed, Eddie silently reading a book and caressing the skin available to him.
It was perfect domestic bliss, he’d cook the two of you breakfast in the morning, and he’d come home to a homecooked meal in the evening. The only thing you were missing was his cock, mid terms were coming up and you were absolutely swamped. Spending all of your time that wasn’t spent at school, or working, was dedicated to more school. It was frying your brain.
Then one day you had finally had enough, another one of your professors had added another paper due on top of studying for all of your other exams. You had so many things you needed to get done before Thanksgiving you thought your head was going to explode.
You spent some time crying in your car that day, before walking up the driveway into Eddies house. Now a second home to you, you take off your shoes and head to Eddies bedroom and snuggling under the sheets, breathing in his scent. You hear Eddies familiar footsteps coming up the stairs into the bedroom the two of you basically shared.
“hey sweetpea-“ the rest of his greeting dying on his lips.
You feel him before you see him, he just slides into bed with you and holds you tightly against him. Then you lose it some more, crying into one of his pillows, just so stressed out. You needed all of it to go away, you didn’t want to think anymore.
He pushes the hair out of your face and wipes away your tears, “hey talk to me baby, what’s goin on? Hmm?” he questions, concern in his voice.
“It’s too much” you croak, turning over and nuzzling your face into his chest.
“Make it go away, please make it go away, my brain is so tired, I just need a break!” you sob harder into his embrace.
Eddie wrapped his arms around your body, protecting you from the outside world.
“I know baby, I know, I’m so sorry, I’m so fucking sorry” he says calmly, leaving little kisses in your hair.
The two of you tangled up together in silence, just him touching your skin and you holding on to him for dear life. It stays like this for a few minutes. You can practically hear Eddies mind working a thousand miles a minute.
“... do you really want it to go away?” Eddie asks, almost a whisper.
You nodded feverishly into his chest, grabbing his shirt and pulling him impossibly closer to you.
“Please,” you whisper into his chest.
Eddie pulls the two of you apart so you can see his face, his eyes serious with anticipation. He caresses your cheek with his hand, running his thumb across your lips.
“I wanna show you something, you don’t have to say yes. But I think it might help.” He says, waiting for your answer.
You nod your head, ready to try anything to get your brain to calm down. He takes you by your hands, carefully getting you up and on your feet. Being so gentle with you, almost like he was afraid you’d break if he moved to quick or touched you too hard. Eddie led you down the stairs into the kitchen, right in front of the basement door.
He looked at you anxiously, you rarely if ever saw him anxious, it made your heart rate spike a little feeding off his nervous energy.
He opens the door and leads you down into the basement, immediately confused by Eddies immense anxiety. It’s just a basement, it had loads of Eddies DnD books nicely tucked away on bookshelves, a huge circular table in the middle with papers scattered all over it, and a bunch of props and miniatures that you assumed Eddie used for various DnD campaigns. Eddie meets you at the bottom of the stairs and puts his hand in yours, his eyes still timid.
“Sorry it’s a bit of a mess, I’ve been working on a new campaign.” He says while nervously scratching the back of his head. You squeeze his hand giving him some reassurance.
“Look, I know we haven’t been dating very long, but I really fucking like you. So just bear with me kay? I don’t wanna scare you off,” he states, fiddling with your fingers in his hands.
“You could never scare me off Eddie” you say plainly, having more admiration for him than almost anybody else.
With a sigh he guides you past all the DnD stuff into a hidden black door under the stairs, the door locked with a key padlock.
Eddie grabs a key off a chain that’s on his neck that he wears every day, you always thought it was just for decoration and not practical use. He turns the key into the lock and leads you into a dark room and turns on the light.
It takes a second for your eyes to adjust to the room, not really sure what you’re seeing. The walls are blood red, various toys, whips, paddles, and a saint Andrews cross leaning in the corner between two walls. At the center of the room was a bed with black satin sheets, with a black bed frame with various hooks and chains attached to it.
You look at Eddie in surprise, you didn’t expect him to have a whole fucking sex dungeon in his basement. You were impressed, you usually only read about stuff like this in your books. Never thinking that you’d actually get to experience it in real life.
“This is uh, welcome to my dungeon” he says, grandiosely waving his hands to show off the room, chuckling nervously to himself. You smile lightly at him, still your goofy Eddie.
“You can totally tell me to fuck off, and we don’t ever have to talk about this ever again, scouts honor. I just.. I thought maybe because of the books you like to read. Maybe we had uhm similar interests,” he says, closing the door behind the two of you.
You’re still in awe of what you see before you, finding something new to look at every second, you start to feel yourself getting excited. The anxiety melting away the longer you were in this room, like it was magic.
“Please say something, anything, you’re killin’ me here darlin,” he says, pulling your hand to his lips, leaving tiny kisses in their wake.
You walk farther into the room, dusting your fingers along the various toys and instruments on the wall. Eddie follows suit, rubbing his arms up and down your shoulders while you look. You turn around and wrap your arms around his neck and pull him into a deep kiss. He looks at you hungrily, waiting for your next move, you’ve never wanted him more.
“Turn off my brain Eds, please,” you beg, putting on your prettiest doe eyes.
Eddie curses under his breath and shakes his head trying to concentrate. He hugs you tightly as a thank you that you didn’t run out of the room kicking and screaming. He sits the two of you on a bench at the foot of the bed, holding your hands in his.
“Alright sweetness, I gotta lay down a few rules before we play, okay?” He says, clearly in his element. You nod, understanding what he means. Being familiar with the world of BDSM, but never getting to act on it before.
“First things first, safe words, If I ask you for your color, you respond with Green, Yellow, or Red. Green meaning you’re okay mentally and physically and I can keep going. Yellow meaning that you’re reaching your limit and I need to check in with you. Red meaning stop, you say this word and whatever scene we are doing will stop immediately and we will go into aftercare. I want you to feel safe during every single part of this, so don’t be afraid to stop a scene, okay? This is supposed to be fun for the both of us. Ya with me so far?” He smiles lightly trying to keep the tension light but letting know that he means business.
“With ya Eds,” you say with a nod of your head.
You can practically hear his heart swelling with pride. He continues to go through some more safety rules, what to do if you’re bound or gagged and can’t say a safe word. He goes through some walk throughs of what some of the various toys do, to see what piques your interest. He asks you if you know any of your hard or soft limits, you give him some basic ones, open to a lot considering you didn’t have a ton of real life experience in this department. You were starting to get a little nervous, hoping that you would live up to Eddies expectations.
He senses the panic inside you and squeezes your hands. “Don’t worry okay? You agreeing to try this with me is already a dream come true, I just want to help you feel better, help you let go.” He says sweetly.
You take a deep breath and lean back into him on the bench. He rubs his hands soothingly up and down your arms and then around your waist, tugging up the bottom of your shirt and lifting it over your head, and does the same with your leggings. He has you stand in front of him, leaving you in only your bra and underwear, your skin erupting in goosebumps when it hits the cold air.
“Beautiful,” he says breathlessly, his eyes scanning over every inch of your body. You look at him, you can see his cock already stiffening in the confines of his pants.
“Bend over for me baby,” he commands. Situating you over his lap, ass in the air, making your thoughts immediately cloud with want. You had never been in such a compromising position before and you loved it, showing yourself off to him.
“I’ll start slow, remember, any time you need to stop just say red and I’ll stop okay?” he reminds you one last time before he starts.
He readies you by palming each of your cheeks with his hands, increasing the pressure with each touch. You can already feel the heat rising in your body, your legs squirming together trying to find any sort of friction. Eddie seeing your desperation grabs your legs forcing them apart with his leg.
“You’re so fuckin cute, you’ll learn,” he warns, earning you a light slap across your left check. You gasp not expecting it, making your eyes roll back in pleasure, grinding your hips against Eddie’s clothed legs.
Two more light slaps come down on each cheek, eliciting a whimper from your lips, your hips grinding up wanting more. You can feel his length twitch underneath you with every smack, and your wetness seeping into your panties, you’d never been this desperate in your life.
“What’s your color princess, you doin okay?” he questions, genuine concern in his voice that makes your heart swell.
“Green Eds, m’ good,” you say hazily, your mind starting to cloud over.
With that confirmation he slowly increases the intensity of each slap, switching between your two cheeks. It only made you whimper louder, wanting even more. The slaps were now punishing, surely your cheeks bright pink from the abuse. You were surprised, you never thought something like this would feel so good. But you couldn’t help it, your panties now completely soaked through.
“You like that, you like when I hurt you?” he says, leaning into the shell of your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You nod wildly, not trusting your words.
You hear Eddie click his tongue, “Nuh uh pretty girl, down here you gotta use your words. Now I’m gonna ask again, you like it when I hurt you?” he demands, landing two more harsh slaps against your bottom.
“Yes, yes Eddie I like when you hurt me” you say desperately. Your body buzzing, every cell screaming with need. Your mind thinking of only him and the pain he gives you, mind completely blank.
“Good girl baby, doin such a good job” he praises, you smile at his praise, sinking further and further away from all the worries that had bothered you not a half hour ago.
He lands an especially mean slap on your right cheek pulling a loud moan out of your mouth, you can hear Eddies laugh vibrate through his chest.
“Fuck look at you baby, taking everything I give you. You’re my little pain slut aren’t you?” he mocks, tutting and rubbing at your now very red ass.
“Mhmm” you mutter brainlessly, trying to push your legs together, your clit on fire with need.
“Words pretty girl, I need words, that’s your last warning before you regret it,” he warns, gifting you another brutal slap.
“Y-yes, your pain slut, all yours,” you babble pathetically, desperate tears begging to spill from your eyes.
“Fuck me, yeah you are, C’mere let me look at you, get on your knees f’me” he says breathlessly, helping you off his lap and down between his legs. You lay your head against one of his knees, looking up at him between your eyelashes.
He brushes his hand across your cheek, rubbing your lips with his thumb. In your brainless state you allow his thumb into your mouth sucking on it while maintaining eye contact. You felt so free, knowing that he was going to take care of you, that you didn’t have to think anymore, giving up control gave your brain freedom that you wouldn’t have otherwise.
“Perfect” he utters, barely above a whisper, mesmerized by the way your mouth was sucking his thumb in, swirling the tip of his thumb with your tongue. Wanting more than just his thumb you tug on his pants and belt with your hand, but it wasn’t your turn to be in control. Eddie pulls the bottom of your chin up, straining your neck to meet his demand.
He pinches your cheeks together, forcing your mouth open wider. He takes his thumb out of your mouth replacing it with his pointer and middle fingers, seeing how deep you can put them down your throat. While maintaining eye contact, you suck his fingers all the way to the back of your throat until you choke lightly on them.
“You look so pretty with your mouth all full” he says as he leans down to leave a kiss on the side of your very full mouth.
All the praise becoming too much, squirming aimlessly in the air, whimpering around Eddies fingers. He seems to get a kick out of your desperation, cursing under his breath. All made more apparent by his very hard cock outlined in his pants.
“Alright sweet thing, climb up on the bed for me” he commands, tapping the silk sheets on the bed. You do as your told, meanwhile Eddie removes his shirt, belt, and pants. You look at him hungrily, with the playing field now level.
He sits down onto the bed next to you, pulling you into a deep kiss. Your bodies melt together, his hands everywhere, grabbing every inch of you. The two of you relax onto the bed, letting him kiss and nip and your skin, slowly taking off your bra and panties until you were completely bare in front of him.
He pulls your legs apart, not allowing you to hide any part of yourself from him. You were embarrassed by how wet you had gotten just from that act alone, he barely touched you.
Eddie curses under his breath, pulling apart your folds to see you dripping down your thighs.
“My needy needy girl”, he coos, dipping one of his fingers into your entrance, gathering some of your release on his fingers. He brings it up to your mouth, you suck in his fingers eagerly, wanting to please. Your release taste tangy and sweet, you moan around his fingers at the dirty act. Dipping his fingers back at your entrance, taking some of your release for himself, moaning around his fingers.
Focusing his attention back on you, he straddles you and puts your hands above your head and kisses you deeply. You feel him grind against your core making you buck up against him. Your groans filling the room, the tension becoming too much to bear.
“Need you eds, please,” you beg, the pressure between your legs driving you insane. That’s the only confirmation Eddie needed before taking his boxers off, sliding his throbbing cock in between your soaked folds. You wrap your legs around his back, pushing him harder against you.
He lines up his cock up to your entrance and slowly pushes in, his length pushing up against your cervix as he bottoms out. You whine, biting down on his shoulder, provoking a curse from his mouth.
“Color baby?” he asks breathlessly against your skin.
“Green Eds, really fucking green,” you grin against his shoulder, kissing the tattoo along his jaw.
Your words, diminishing the last of his resolve as he starts to thrust in and out of your heat slowly. Your eyes glass over, the pleasure being too much, you had never been so full. Not even your dildo doing half as much as Eddies cock.
“Shit, your pussy was fucking made for me, made to take my fucking cock,” he growls, biting down on a part of your neck, trying to contain his groans and whines.
You dig your claws into his back, wishing him deeper inside of you. Eddie using that as an okay to go faster, he grabs an edge of the bed frame for leverage. The wet sounds of his cock entering you drowning out your whimpers and moans.
“Uh, uh, uh, oh, fuuuckk E-eddie” you wail, your eyes rolling back and your mouth falling open.
“You like that baby, you like it when I fuck you like the little slut you are? All you needed was a few slaps on your ass for you do go dumb huh?” he mocks, pistoning harder into your core.
“Yes, yes I fucking love it, more please,” you beg, you wanted to see how much more you could handle, the pleasure building between your legs.
Eddie takes one of his hands off the bed frame, cupping the sides of your jaw with his hand.
“Open,” he demands. You obey, all rational thoughts gone long ago. Taking the opportunity, he spits sloppily into your mouth, you swallow and take what he gives your greedily.
“Atta girl, doing what your told” he sighs proudly, going back to concentrating rocking his hips against yours with vigor. You could feel yourself getting close, all of it becoming too much, the fucking, the slapping, the dirty talk, it was all perfect. You were plummeting quickly to your release, your walls spasming in anticipation.
“If you keep squeezing me like that m’ not gonna last much longer,” he confesses, leaving little kisses on your neck.
“Eds- I- fuck- I’m gonna cum- please cum in me please, need your cum,” you beg, feeling your release threatening to take over.
“Fuck,” he curses, you can feel his pace getting sloppier, fucking you through your release. Your legs shaking, mouth open in a silent scream, eyes glazed over, having the biggest orgasm you’ve ever had in your life.
Your walls clamp down on Eddie, not lasting much longer after you, spilling his seed into your waiting center. You feel his release spill out onto your thighs and sheets.
“Please tell me you’re on the pill” he mutters into your chest, sweat covering both of your bodies. You giggle and caress his hair, playing with his dark brown and greying curls.
“Yeah, ‘m on the pill,” you confirm, leaving a kiss at the top of his head. Eddie sighs thankfully on your chest, followed by a few minutes of silence from the two of you. Basking in each others after sex glow, gentle touches and light kisses.
You stay cuddled up for a while, neither of you wanted to go back to reality. The basement was like your safe place, where both of you could let go, like really let go. He saw things in you today that up until now, you had never let anyone see that side of you. He allowed you the same, taking down his walls showing you everything he had to offer.
He showed that he really cared about you, that he could take care of you even when your brain was against you. That was something you had never had before, someone who knew you and cared about you enough to help you fight the endless battles in your brain. You swore to yourself right there that you’d help him fight his battles too.
After a while he got up and got you a glass of water and a warm washcloth to help wipe you off. Your center still sensitive from your previous activities. Eddie was gentle, taking his time, making sure you were physically okay. He even put cream on your sore, soon to be bruised ass, after many many kisses that made you blush.
His teddy bear eyes looking into yours, while the two of you lay naked in bed, him painting circles on your face.
“How’s your head now baby? Better?” he asked hopeful. Tears form at the tips of your eyes, you nod your head vigorously. Your tears making Eddies eyes fill with concern.
“What baby? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” he asks soothingly.
You shake your head, trying to find the words for what you were feeling. “No no I’m fine, I’m just.. happy. My brain is so quiet, I can’t remember the last time my brain was so quiet.” You sob into Eddies chest, pulling him closer into you. He wraps his arms around you and shushes your tears, wiping them from your face leaving little kisses in their wake.
“It’s okay baby, I’m here, I gotcha” he says, comforting you with more kisses, squeezing you tighter against him. The two of you spend the rest of the night down in the basement, eventually falling asleep in each other’s arms, completely content.
When you wake up the following morning, you are still wrapped up in each other’s arms, Eddie still lightly snoring. You take this time to really take him in, his beautiful chocolate brown eyes, the laugh lines around his lips, his lips so pink and plush, the light wrinkles around his eyes, the dark curly brown hair that falls in front of his face, you didn’t know how you got so lucky. Not only is Eddie quite literally the sweetest man you had ever met in your life, but he’s also the most handsome.
You snuggle back into him, basking in his embrace. A little while later he wakes from sleep, stretching out, allowing you to get up and go to the bathroom.
“Hey little missy where do you think you’re goin?” he asks, pouting in bed patting the space where you were previously occupying.
“Just gotta pee,” you whisper, hoping maybe he will fall back asleep, but Eddie is stubborn.
“Just hold it, come back and cuddle,” he whines. You chuckle and kiss the top of his head before putting on his Metallica t shirt and heading out the door and up the stairs to the kitchen. You walk into the downstairs bathroom and gasp at the state you were left in. You still had mascara smudges under your eyes from crying and cumming, your hair was sticking up every which way, you looked a mess. And yet the beautiful man downstairs still wanted you, lucky you.
After you clean up a little and comb through your hair, you head to the kitchen to grab the two of you something to eat. You hear the basement door open, and the man you were just thinking about emerges, wearing only his boxers.
“I get to fuck the girl of my dreams AND she made me breakfast, I can die a happy man,” he remarks, enveloping you into a passionate kiss. You giggle against him, still not used how much he likes you.
“And you’re wearing my shirt,” he comments, taking a handful of your ass in each hand making you hiss, your butt still sore from the beating it received the day before.
“Just wanna touch base, everything yesterday was okay right? It wasn’t exactly what I picture our first time to be like but, I don’t regret it. You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen, definitely did not disappoint,” he expresses.
“It was better than I could’ve imagined Ed, really. You were beautiful.” You confess, going on your tippy toes to steal a kiss from him.
The two of you spend the rest of the morning cuddled up on the couch eating breakfast, before you had to part ways. You had classes most of the day and Eddie had to go into the office for work.
Leaving Eddie was the hardest part of any day, but especially today. You had Steves class today, you always dreaded going after everything went down between the two of you. You wished to stay here forever.
The two of you share way too many last kisses before the two of you leave his house in your respective cars. You needed to go to your apartment before class to change, and then Sociology 101.
You waited as long as you possibly could before going into the classroom, you’ve started a routine of avoiding Steve as much as humanly possible. But when you entered the class, instead of being met by Steves sad eyes, you were met by a balding older man with grey hair. You look around at the rest of the class as you make your way to your seat, they also seem equally as confused as you. The man in the front of the class introduces himself as Professor McCarthy, he explained that he was going to take over for Steve for the time being.
“Where is Professor Harrington?” The girl who sits behind you asks, a slight whine in her voice.
“He has taken a seemingly well-deserved sabbatical,” Professor McCarthy confesses with zero empathy in his voice.
You can barely pay attention during class, your thoughts swimming threatening to drown you.
Why did he leave?
Was it because of you?
Does Robin know?
Was he forced to take a leave?
Did people find out about the two of you?
You hated to admit it, but a small part of your brain was trying to say something. Loud enough for you to hear it through the madness.
Is he okay?
You didn’t know why, but you still cared about Steve. Even though he hurt you, you wanted to know he was alright. After so many weeks of getting to know him, you knew how much being a teacher meant to him. You knew how passionate he is about the subject he teaches; it worried you that he could just leave. It had to mean something was really wrong.
The rest of the class goes by in a blur, the new professors voice conveniently very easy to drone out. You were the first one to leave the room once class was over. Speed walking down the hall, heading to the only place you knew you’d find answers.
You knock on the door to Robins office, hoping that she was in today.
“Come in!” she calls out.
She looks startled when she sees you standing in her doorway, expecting to see a student with questions about an assignment.
“Uh, hi.” You say awkwardly, still standing in the doorway.
“Hey Y/N, come in, why don’t you sit down,” she offers kindly, already knowing why you’re here.
“Where is he?” you ask bluntly.
Robin sighs before answering, her eyes moving, trying to think of the best way to explain it to you.
“He just needed a break, and the board allowed it,” she says plainly
“I wanna talk to him,” you confess, words leaving your mouth before you could think. Yes, you were upset with Steve, definitely hurt. But that doesn’t mean that you wanted him to leave his job, the both of you are adults. You feel guilty, like you’re the reason he left, and you needed closure.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea honey,” Robin says empathetically.
Your heart drops.
“Please? At least think about it, okay? I’m not mad anymore, I just, I wanna make sure he’s okay,” you admit, hoping to clear the air.
Robin nods and promises that she’ll think about it, but she didn’t seem very convincing. The following days after, dragged on, still piled high with homework. Made worse now because your new sociology professor is the worst, he talked too fast and without any tone in his voice, you caught a few students falling asleep in his class, it was that bad.
Eddie helped a lot, staying over at your house some nights to cuddle up with you after staring at your computer screen for hours on end. You felt guilty that you were so worried about Steve, when you had the perfect man in front of you. You convinced yourself it was just guilt, you just wanted to make sure he’s okay.
Then you got lucky, one morning when you walked into Robins classroom, where you usually sat was a note.
“Here’s his number, don’t make me regret it.” Was etched into the paper.
Your heart flutters in anticipation as hope fills your chest. You spend time after class thinking about the right thing to say, do you text him? Do you call him? You decide on a text, thinking a text is less daunting than calling him.
“Hey Steve, its Y/N. heard about ur sabbatical, hope ur okay” Not really sure what to say, your finger hovers over the send button for a few seconds before you send it. Immediately followed by you throwing your phone across the room.
What the fuck are you doing?
You spend the next couple of hours on your laptop doing your homework, sneaking peaks at your phone, triple checking that you hadn’t missed any messages from Steve. You reasoned with yourself that he might be on vacation or at least just busy. You try to get out of your head and focus on your homework.
The next few days you spent checking your phone every once in awhile looking for a text from Steve that hadn’t come. You were starting to get anxious, even a little worried. The semester was coming to a close, all your assignments turned in and only one mid term left to take. You had come to terms with the idea that Steve just wasn’t going to text you back, he didn’t owe you anything, I guess you’d just have to find closure on your own.
Until one afternoon, the day before thanksgiving, you get a text.
“I miss u”
You stare at your phone, double checking that the text was coming from the right number, Steve’s number. Concern floods your system, this is unlike him.
“Steve? R u okay?”
“I meszed it all up Y/N, im sry”
You’re heart now threatening to beat out of your chest, something was wrong, really wrong. You’re old enough to know when you’re getting a drunk text, what if he was out somewhere alone in this state? You needed to make sure he was okay, or at least somewhere safe.
“Steve tell me where u are, r u safe?”
“Come overrr” is all that is written, followed by a ping to an address. You grab your keys and your coat without a second thought. You get in your car and drive faster than what was probably safe, thoughts only on Steve.
When you finally get to the address, it takes you to a huge house on the outside of town. You let yourself through the gate and park in the huge driveway. You knock on the front door, it squeaks open lightly, you take deep breath and let yourself in. The house is massive, like really big, like old money big. The place is so big, you wander around for a little while searching the various extravagant rooms on the first floor until you find Steve in what you assume is the study.
He's slumped over onto his desk, his hand holding a fancy glass filled with amber liquid. You knock on the side of the door, jostling Steve from his drunk stupor.
“Y/N? What are you doing here?” his words slightly slurred.
“Uh, you texted me, you gave me this address,” you feel your heart drop into your stomach, you knew this was a bad idea.
You see Steve’s bloodshot eyes search for the memory of sending you his address, raking his hands through his hair. Steve looked like he hadn’t taken care of himself for awhile, stains all over t-shirt and sweatpants. Your heart ached seeing him this way, guilt washed over you like a tsunami. This entire time you were thinking about yourself and your own closure, and not about the clearly broken man sitting before you.
“This was a mistake, I should go,” you admit before turning in the doorway to leave the way you came in.
“No, p-please wait! I- fuck everything is so fucked up I don’t know what to do anymore. Just stay.” He looks up at you through his glassy red eyes, begging you to stay.
You decide to stay, you step closer to his desk to get a better look at the state he’s in. He probably hasn’t showered in days, and he reeked of alcohol.
“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up,” is all you can think to say, you can’t stand to see him this way any longer.
Steve allows you to get him up and out of the chair, the two of you half stumble while he shows you how to get to the master bathroom. You help him get out of his clothes until he’s left in just his boxers, you do your best not to stare. Even in the state he’s in, you still fought the urge to drool at the sight of him. You turn on the hot water, and look at him sitting on the toilet almost completely naked.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he mumbles groggily.
You suck in a deep breath and let it out harshly, you had always known that. If you knew anything about Steve Harrington, you know that he couldn’t hurt a fly. But you couldn’t believe anything he was saying right now. He was still drunk, and you didn’t know how he was going to feel once he sobered up.
“Why don’t you get in the shower, and we can talk once you’re out, okay?” you reassure him, leaving the room to give him space.
His bedroom was a mess, clothes and random liquor bottles everywhere, you tidy it up the best you can before making your way back downstairs to the kitchen. The kitchen is huge, meant for a chef or someone who really likes to cook. But instead, you see containers of take out and microwave dinners piled in the over flowing garbage and more dishes crowding in the sink. You take out the garbage and do the dishes.
By the time you’re finishing up the dishes you hear footsteps pattering into the kitchen.
“Hi” he says meekly.
“Hi” you reply, placing the last dish into the dishwasher.
He stands next to you, one hand on the counter and one hand on his hip, trying to think of what to say. He opens and closes his mouth, but nothing comes out.
“It’s fine really Steve, I’m happy to help,” you confess, turning your body to face him.
Steve looks down at his hands, when he looks back up at you, fresh tears have formed on his lash line.
“I’m the worst, aren’t I?” he questions, his voice breaking.
Your heart broke with him, “No Steve, you’re not the worst. At little messed up, definitely. But far from the worst.”
He looks at you gratefully before he continues speaking.
“I- I thought you hated me. I swear I didn’t mean to hurt you. I don’t know how I screwed things up so badly. I’m sorry I brought you all the way out here. I just... fuck I just missed you Y/N,” he babbles, his tears now flowing down his face in little streams.
You walk a few steps closer to him, not trusting yourself to touch him.
Eddie, remember Eddie.
“I don’t hate you Steve, I could never hate you. I was just hurt and confused. Honestly, I still am hurt and confused, I just. I couldn’t bear the thought of you not teaching or being upset because of me. That’s why I came,” you reassure him, hoping your eyes show him the rest. That you do care for him, and want him to be okay.
Steve nods, mulling over your words, wiping his eyes. Then you hear some buzzing on the marble kitchen counter. Steve’s phone goes off, he looks at his phone and answers it immediately. You can hear Robins worried voice on the other end of the phone anxiously babbling questions off at him. You felt good knowing that even if you weren’t in Steves life, he still had Robin.
“No, ugh Rob I’m fine, please you don’t need to come and check on me.”
“Yes, I’ve showered. NO! Don’t bring Nancy, I don’t want her to see me like this.” He rubs his forehead, probably nursing a headache.
Steve hangs up the phone and looks at you.
“Uhm, Rob is coming over, and.. you probably shouldn’t be here when she gets here” he says awkwardly, he looks like he has more to say but decided against it.
You nod your head in understanding. Steve walks you to the front door, thanks you a million more times before waving you off as you get in your car and drive away.
You pull of on the side of the road, a few blocks from Steves place. You put your arms around the steering wheel, thinking about what just happened.
He is just a friend, someone you care about who needed your help.
You shake your head out of your thoughts and head back to your apartment. As you pull into the parking lot your phone dings, you park your car and look at the notification lighting up your phone screen.
“Come over stinky butt 🍑”
You smile at your phone, of course it’s Eddie, the one who makes you feel safe. The one you don’t have to take care of or worry about, your rock. You put your car in reverse, and drive towards Eddies house. The closer you get to Eddies house, the more every loud thought of Steve was quieting to a whisper, you sigh in relief.
“Vi?!” you say cautiously, a routine you were now used to.
Eddie pokes his head out of the kitchen, “Just me babe” a smile plastered across his face. You smile back and head into the kitchen, only to immediately be scooped up into a hug and lifted off your feet. You breathe in Eddies scent, allowing it to ground you back into your reality.
“Mmm missed you,” Eddie murmurs in between kisses. You wrap your arms around his waist, deepening the kiss.
“Missed you too Eds,” Eddie groans against you, pushing you against the counter.
The two of you kiss some more, allowing yourselves to get lost in each other. When you finally pull back you look into Eddies eyes, they just seem tired. You cup your hand around his face, and his cups your hand with his; grateful for the affection.
“Can I show you something?” he asks, only admiration in his eyes. You kiss him as a yes, and let him guide you back down into the basement. You stomach doing flips remembering the last time the two of you spent time down here. But this time he leads you into the main room. The circular table previously covered in random campaign research, now completely clean except for two stacks of paper in front a chair at the head of the table.
He pulls back the chair, next to the head and ushers you into it. You sit down, looking at him inquisitively. He sits down at the head of the table, clearing his voice before he speaks.
“So, the other day, I really liked seeing that side of you. And I wanted to know if you felt the same way, and if maybe you wanted to do it again,” he confesses, searching for the answer in your eyes. His gaze lights a fire in your belly, and a growing ache between your legs, remember the previous activities down here.
You bite your lip and look at him, trying to find the right words, “I’d like that a lot, I like when you take control,” you confide in him, nudging your leg against his under the table. Eddie takes in a deep breath before speaking again, “I just wanted to go over some more safety stuff, if we are going to really do this, and not have it be a one time thing,” handing you one of the stacks of paper in front of him.
He goes onto explain to you that this is not a contract, but more of a mostly complete list of limits that he wanted the two of you to fill out before playing again. He clarifies that the reason for this is so that neither of you ever accidently make the other feel uncomfortable during a scene. Your eyes looking over the papers curiously, overwhelmed by all the different things listed. He had to explain a few of them to you, him being more experienced than you were. You could feel the tension in the room heating up, and your panties dampening.
Finally, you’re on the last page, your knee bouncing up and down in anticipation.
“Where is Violet?” you ask, a little bit too much excitement in your voice. You see his eyes darken and a smirk splay across his lips.
“She’s working night shift” he says grabbing your chair and bringing it closer to his side, grabbing your thigh harshly.
You let out a shaky breath, you needed this, him. You go to put your hand around his neck to pull him into a kiss, but he grabs your wrist.
“Finish what I’ve asked of you pretty girl” leaving a kiss at the shell of your, evoking goosebumps across your skin.
You swallow hard, all the moisture gone from your mouth. You look back down on the paper, finishing it as fast at you can before looking back up at him for more instructions.
“Good job baby, I’m proud of you. You follow instructions so well” he praises, leaving a light kiss on your cheek. He pulls his eyes away from you for a bit, looking through all of your limits or things you are willing to try. You take this time to do the same with him, shocked by a few things, but even more turned on. Once you’re done reading you look up to see him staring at you hungrily.
“Ready to play sweet thing?” he says, pupils blown in lust.
“Ready,” you say breathlessly, willing air into your lungs.
“One more thing before we start, I like Daddy and Master, just so you know,” he winks at you, and it takes everything in you to stop your knees from buckling.
He takes you by your hand and walks with you to the secret door under the stairs. Your body buzzing, wanting to touch the man in front of you anywhere and everywhere. He opens the door and lets the two of you in. Once the door is closed, he envelops you into a deep kiss, you whimper at his lips on yours.
“Mm fuck, I love your little noises” he hisses, lifting you up by your legs and guiding you to wrap them around his waist. He sits down on the bed, leaving you to straddle his waist. The sheets were changed since you were here last, now a silky maroon color. You take the opportunity to grind your hips down on his lap while he grabs at the skin available to him, the two of you moaning into each other’s mouths. His lips tasting like the last cigarette he smoked, chasing his tongue with yours. You could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter, the way his bulge was rubbing against your clit could make you cum right now with how worked up you are. You moan a little louder into Eddies mouth, making him pull back and look at your already fucked out expression.
“Look at you baby, already so desperate” he teases, lifting you off of him for a second to slide your leggings and panties off. He guides you back onto his lap, situating his fingers at your center, swiping them through your folds. Lifting his hands up to find them glistening with your juices.
“And already so fucking wet, such a needy little slut” he says, sticking his fingers into his mouth. You go back to grinding your hips against his bulge, not being able to help yourself, your clit aching with need.
Eddie stills your hips with his hand, grabbing at your ass and tits roughly before taking off your shirt, leaving you naked except your bra. Eddie takes this time to kiss all the skin newly available to him. You moan loudly into the open room, trying your best to obey and not rock your hips against his.
This task became harder and harder the longer his lips were on yours, kissing that spot on your neck that you like, nipping at your lips, kissing your newly exposed nipples. It was all too much, you grind your hips into his without thinking, and that’s when he swiftly turns the turns the two of you over. You can feel the silk sheets against your back, and his hands on your hips. You whine in protest, trying to rock your hips into his once more.
“Awe, my girl just can’t stay still huh? I can help with that,” He taunts, leaving you to lay on the bed, going into the little nightstand on the side of the bed.
He comes back into view holding leather cuffs in his hands, and a sinister look on your face. He takes his time kissing each of your wrists before helping you into the cuffs, doing the same thing with your ankles. You take a look at your wrists, now partially covered by the leather material, it was tight but not too tight. You feel Eddie move around you before grabbing one of your wrists in his hand lightly hearing a clicking sound as he lays it back down on the bed. You go to pick up your wrist again, realizing you can’t. You look at the head of the bed to see your cuff connected to a restraint in the frame. He continues to do the same thing with your other wrist and both of your ankles.
His stare could bore holes into skin the way that it heated you up from the inside. You struggle lightly against the restraints, trying to test how much movement you had in each limb, which wasn’t much. He sits next to you on the bed, palming your face in one of his hands.
“Color baby?” he questions.
“Green!” you say brightly, excited for the adventure ahead of you.
“Doin’ so good for me” he coos, and then his touch is gone and he’s somewhere in the room. You can hear random rustling but you can’t lift up your head enough to see what he’s grabbing.
He comes back next to you seemingly empty handed, and then he lifts up his hands to you to show you his haul. He has a single black die in his one hand, and a vibrating wand in the other.
“So, we’re gonna play a little game, I’m going to roll the dice. Whatever number the dice lands on, is how many times you have to edge until I let you cum.” He says, he usually chocolate brown eyes now almost black with lust.
You lick your lips and think about how to respond, “Y-yes Daddy” you utter, your face heating up at the new pet name. You hear Eddie curse under his breath. He rolls the die next to your head on the nightstand and chuckles. His face coming close to yours with a wicked grin on his face.
“Can you handle three, angel?” he snickers, leaving kisses along your jaw line, nipping lightly. You nod hurriedly, wanting to be good for the man above you. With that he kisses you deeply one more time before spreading your legs, your dripping core on display for him to see.
You watch him spit messily on the wand and then once more on your heat, spreading it generously on your clit. You hiss at the contact, bucking your hips up slightly wanting more. You hear the hum of the vibrator as Eddie turns it on low, your body full of anticipation, waiting for any sort of pleasure. That’s when you feel it, the low vibration against your clit. You squirm against it at first, wanting more already.
Eddie chuckles lowly above you, “I should call you my little bunny by how much you move, would you like that sweetness? To be my little bunny?” he taunts, turning up the vibration higher, pulling a moan from your lips.
“Yes daddy, wanna be your bunny, your good little bunny” you writhe against the restraints. He rewards you by turning up the vibrator another notch, the pressure quickly building in your stomach.
You writhe against the restraints as the pressure becomes too much, coming it waves, so close to sending you over the edge. And then it’s gone, the vibration still audible in the room but you can no longer feel it. You groan in frustration, you were so fucking close.
“Two more baby, then you can cum” he reassures you. He takes this time, to let the fire inside you simmer. He takes off his shirt and his pants, leaving him in only his boxers. You see him palming himself, you bite your lip, wanting nothing more than to worship his cock.
You feel the vibration once again but this time instead of starting out slow, the vibration knocks the wind out of you. Your clit screaming at you for release, the coil inside you already winding tighter and tigher, your curl your toes, willing yourself not to cum. Then the sensation is gone once again, your body now covered in sweat from being so close twice now, your chest heaving heavily up and down.
“You’re doin so good bunny, just one more for me, kay? Still green?” he asks.
You nod your head not trusting your words, whimpers coming out instead. Eddie takes off his boxers, showing off his now very erect and hard cock, making your mouth water. Stroking it a few times before lining it up with your mouth.
“Spit Bunny” he commands.
You whimper and do as you’re told, gathering all the salvia in your mouth and spitting it onto his tip. He sighs and works your spit around his cock, moaning loudly. He’s teasing you, you’re strapped to the bed and can’t even touch him. He is evil incarnate, and you can’t get enough.
You were so entranced by watching Eddie work his hand over his cock you had forgot what the two of you were doing, until you felt the vibration on the highest setting hit your clit.
You yelp in surprise, keeping your eyes on his cock. Thinking about how his cock feels inside of you, how it stretches you out, hits a spot inside of you that you could never reach. You wanted it, no, you needed it, you needed him or you were going to explode. Your orgasm hurtling towards you like a freight train.
“D-Daddy i- please, i- im gonna cum” you gush, holding your eyes tightly closed, willing yourself not to cum before you’re given the okay. But instead, the vibration is gone, and your orgasm ruined.
You wail in frustration, tears welling in your eyes threatening to spill out, legs shaking. You were so desperate you didn’t even know why you were crying. You feel Eddie unclip your restraints, giving you full range of motion again, you rubbed your wrists thankfully. Eddie pulling you into a hug, kissing the tears out of your eyes.
“You did so good for me baby, you’re such a good girl for Daddy,” he mumbles into your skin. You allow him to hold you for a minute before the need between your legs takes over.
You let out the breath you were holding shakily. Looking at him in anticipation. You lie back down on the bed and open your legs, two could play at this game. You swirl your finger around your aching clit, moaning dramatically. Grabbing your left tit, pinching lightly between your two fingers, giving him a show.
Two firm hands grab both of your wrists putting them above your head, “You coulda just asked sweetness, not that I mind the show, I just had something else in mind” he mocks.
He climbs on top of you, lining his cock up at your entrance, swiping it through your soaked folds.
“Beg for it, beg for my cock,” he demands.
“Please, please I need your cock, please please, I’ve been good, please let me have your cock,” you whine.
With that he pushes into your core, both of you moaning in unison. His pace already quick chasing his own high.
“Fuck your pussy is so fuckin tight” he says, eyes closed trying to hold off his own orgasm. He lifts your legs, bending you almost in half, hitting a spot inside that makes you scream.
“Fuck yes, yeah right there, holy fuck!” you wail.
Doing what he’s told he pistons into you harder, making the wet noises in the room get louder and louder. You can feel pressure building inside you, but it feels different, it feels bigger.
“Can I cum, please can I cum?” not being able to hold it off any longer, eyes pleading with Eddie.
“Yeah, baby go ahead, cum for me, cum for daddy,” he groans.
Then your vision whites out, every cell in your body imploding with pleasure, you feel your release spill out of you and onto the sheets, messily.
“Holy shit- fuck!” is the only warning you get before Eddie’s hips stutter, and he spills his seed inside of you.
“What the fuck” is all you can muster in your fucked out state.
“Yeah what the fuck indeed princess, I didn’t know you could squirt” he says breathlessly, scooping you into his arms, the two of you laying next to each other trying to catch your breaths.
“I didn’t either, I’ve never done it before” you confide, Eddies eyes shining bright with pride. You roll your eyes at him, the last thing he needed was a bigger ego.
“Don’t let it go to your head mister,” you say with a jab to his chest.
“No, I absolutely am, thanks though” he says, putting his hand over his chest like he’s accepting a badge of honor.
The two of you spend the rest of the night down there in each other’s arms, eventually, Eddie gives you his t-shirt and goes to grab the two of you a snack and a glass of water.
“Was this okay? I didn’t hurt you or make you upset, right?” he asks.
You shake your head, “No not at all, I loved every second, can’t wait to do it again,” you say with a wiggle of your eyebrows. It makes Eddie crack a smile and leave a small kiss on your head.
“I just like feeling wanted, you know how stuff like this clears your head? It clears mine too, all I need to do is be there for you, and focus on you. Then my brain is quiet, so thank you,” he confesses, stealing a kiss from your lips. You smile up at him, if you could give him the whole world you would in an instant.
“I think I want to tell Vi, I’m nervous but I’m starting to feel guilty hiding all of this from her. I like you a lot, and she deserves to know what makes me happy,” he says looking sleepily in your eyes.
“You make me happy too, we can tell Vi this weekend, okay? I don’t like hiding things from her either,” you reassure him.
He nods back at you sleepily, snuggling in closure to you like a dog. Eventually the two of you fall asleep, completely content.
***Reblogs/comments are appreciated***
Tag List! **if you want to be added to the tag list just lemme know, just need to be 18+**
@sweetblinginrose @tlclick73 @paleidiot @frogtape @too-efn-old-to-be-here @peaches-roses-sins @micheledawn1975 @untitled74745 @hellv1ra @alastorssimp @star-of-velaris @yeaiamme2 @itdobe-liza @mmaaddyy @cozyquinn
#eddie munson#steve harrington#stranger things#eddie munson smut#steve harrington smut#eddie munson x reader#steve harrington x reader#steddie x reader#older!eddie munson#older eddie munson#older! steve harrington#older steve harrington
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hey y'all, i pretty much know that i'm the asshole big time- but i'm not sure what to do about it. i know i need to shift my perspective, especially because i'm not sure what to do going forward... or how to meaningfully apologize, so I think i need some outside judgement.
AITA for wanting to possibly return to speaking terms with someone i cheated with?
about 1.5 years ago one of my best friends (i'll call him R, we're all 20 now) confessed to me while I had a bf- R said he knew i wasn't into him but asked me to kiss him once. i felt really bad and didn't feel anything for him, so i said yes and we briefly kissed. I didn't think it was going to be a big deal until I told my boyfriend right afterwards and he got really upset in a way i now see i was really understandable. i've come to see the situation as cheating, but I think fundamentally we had a different view of it at first. my bf asked me to not be alone with him anymore or talk to him outside of groupchats (i was in a friend group of 3 people, R me and another guy). I tried really hard to follow through on this but in reality- i just didn't want to cut off one of my best friends- there were times I went against my boyfriend's wishes and slowly I let up and saw him/talked alone more. I would tell my boyfriend about it and he would be hurt by it and I would feel horrible, but I didn't put up a hard boundary. I hated myself for it, but I didn't feel like R was actually a problem, rather that the problem was my lack of respect for my bf. A month or two later, all of us moved away to different colleges. After two months of long distance and continuing to talk to R on the phone sometimes, my boyfriend left me citing that as one of the reasons.
I realized I should have valued my bf more and I stopped talking to R (basically ghosted him), but he contacted me on another platform and asked if I was okay and I realized that he was a true friend in a lot of ways. When we hung out on winter break at home, we were chilling and he kind of made a joke asking me to sleep with him. I said no very loudly because I'm not into him like that and I was still hung up on my bf. Meanwhile, after 2 months of no contact, me and my bf had started to talk again very tentatively (i had tried really hard to instigate it which, sometimes i feel bad about not leaving him in his peace- but I was having a really hard time accepting the breakup). I realized there was something I really needed to do to show him I was serious and I sent R a text saying we couldn't be friends anymore citing some lame reasons and the whole 'sleep together' thing.
After that, R didn't contact me and I felt like it was sad, but kind of a blessing because I got to focus on building trust between my bf and I and we eventually got back together.
Anyways, in the past year, the relationship has been steadily getting more comfortable and I hadn't had any contact with R or cheated since (I kind of believe once a cheater always a cheater, so this is an accomplishment. I really don't want to hurt my bf like that again.)
Okay here's the sucky part though (as if the rest wasn't already sucky of me) i was posting tiktoks for the first time this week and, little did i know, the algorithm was showing them to people who had my number. I got a call from an unknown number and a text that said "can we talk." I realized from the chat history it was R, whose number i deleted. I didn't answer, but a part of me really wanted to.
I missed him and I felt bad for leaving the friendship the way it was, I was also really curious as to why he was contacting me now?? But I knew I needed to tell my bf before I did anything. He said he would feel more comfortable if I didn't respond and I kind of agreed- but I said I was going to think about it and that I would tell him explicitly before I did anything.
Then the next day I got another call from a random number with my hometown area code- I thought there was a possibility it was R and decided to just act in the moment and let fate decide- I answered and it was him. It was kind of scary, but also exciting and didn't feel wrong in my body. He was weirdly casual just saying hi and that he saw my tiktoks and missed me, we ended up talking like old friends- like the time that had passed had healed some of that old stuff. He told me i was the best friend he ever had, and I remembered all kind of good things about our friendship. I also was able to apologize for ghosting him- if not super well. I knew while we were talking that my bf was not going to be comfortable with this and that I was unsure about what to do going forward and I think R kind of knew that was the case too, so it was also very awkward. when we hung up, it was clear I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to be his friend again.
When I told my bf as soon as i got off the phone, he was understandably very upset, even more so when I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep talking to R in the future. I feel really bad for hurting him, I was really mainly thinking about my own feelings. Now he and I are trying to resolve things, but I'm ashamed to say I don't know how I can make it better. I've told him that, even though it's not necessarily what I want, I'm willing to block R again, but I don't think it feels satisfying to either of us. my bf and I have been dating for 4 years now (with that break at 3 yrs) and he means so much to me, I don't want to bring us back to a place of distrust, but part of me feels like this was kind of pent up while I had R blocked. i've never ended a friendship with anyone before or blocked someone, so it all feels really weird to me, but I can imagine that my bf must feel really betrayed by my continued unsureness.
also R and my bf used to be friends for like 5 yrs- then R and I were close for 1 yr. my bf has said he felt left out by that and that he felt like R was a jerk to him while they were friends, so that's an element of it as well.
if you've read this far, thanks so much- advice? AITA? I've spent so much time feeling like scum for the way I handled the situation and while I have to love myself through it- I don't want to keep mishandling it- was answering the call all that bad, do I need to totally forget about talking to R?
What are these acronyms?
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So apparently I’m the only person that actually liked the Tyler/Wednesday dynamic, despite a couple things, so I’m about to make an entirely uncalled for essay defending them because I became very emotionally attached in the one night I spent watching this show
To start, I liked how awkward Tyler’s character was right off the bat, because I feel like you don’t see that kind of character type as love interests in much media. A lot of the time it’s overshadowed for the Golden Retriever or Angsty Brooding Type™, and it was really refreshing seeing a different archetype as a love interest. The way him and Wednesday coupled together was always kind of awkward and uncertain, but it felt kinda more real that way considering that’s how a lot of high school romances start out. I really loved the idea of a kind of “baby hold my flower” dynamic between the two, crazy obsessive outcast gf/laid-back supportive normie bf who makes posters to cheer her on during her rampages
On the flip side, once the reveal happened there was so much potential. I wanted his redemption so bad. I wanted him to go back to how he was, while also letting loose more on his more angry feral side while also getting a scene where he got to be redeemed. I was waiting for him to turn to their side any minute, with a speech afterwards about how yes his actions were bad, and while they weren’t his choice persay he just might have enjoyed them, but that doesn’t mean he never liked her! That was all him! Because in all honesty I liked his sweet and caring side contrasted with her cold unfeeling demeanor, although I do see many arguments being made in favor of the serial killer/serial killer stopper dynamic which could be explored
And in terms of canon: the date was adorable, well thought out and showed he actually knew her (like how a scary movie wouldn’t actually scare her: a chick flick would), the way he liked her dancing at the Rave’N, how he always brought her quads, the birthday cake + coffee, all the little sweet gestures of his
(I know that’s only the things he did- but this post is more about him than Wednesday)
I’m fairness, the “I thought you were sending signals” bit felt a little out of left field since she acted the same the whole time, but I’ve learned from experience that if you like someone and you hope they like you back, you can basically turn anything they do at all into a signal
All I’m saying is, ship what you want, but I feel that they worked a lot better than some people give them credit for, and if he hadn’t have been the Hyde they would’ve been really good together, and they still could be
TL;DR, Wednesday x Tyler worked and would also have worked better under different circumstances
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Ballmaster
My roomie and I were bros from the moment we met at freshman orientation. We’d stuck together through thick and thin, from my flunking sophomore calculus to him getting on stage at his first bodybuilding show. All our friends joked that we were basically married, even though we both regularly had chicks over. Just because we never dated long-term didn’t mean we were, like, monks.
When he picked up a new supplement, I didn’t really think much of it. I made fun of him, obviously. What product manager comes up with the product name “BALLMASTER” and goes with it? My roommate never really explained what it was supposed to do, but he mixed the powder with water twice a day, just like the package said.
After a week or so, I started noticing a distinct funk floating around my roomie. It was pungent and sharp, with a bit of an earthy flavour that stuck in the back of my mouth as it intensified over the next few weeks. At first, I would just smell it when he was sitting next to me playing video games, but about a month in, I could smell that he was in our apartment as soon as I opened the door. I don't know how, but I'd learned how to tell when his scent was fresh and when it was stale.
When I asked him about it, he chuckled at me and said, “That’s the BALLMASTER working, bro.”
I didn’t really know what he meant. Maybe part of the product’s effect intensified body odour? But this smell was distinct from his usual man musk. Not that I was, like, sniffing his armpits, but he was a bodybuilder, and he liked to work out in the living room. I’d gotten a whiff or two of his ripe body before. Plus, under the increasingly overpowering musk, I could still smell his deodorant.
It was around this time that he started wearing sweats all the time. Loose, baggy sweats with lots of room in the crotch. His walk totally changed, too, going from the usual bodybuilder’s quad-dodging swagger to a much more exaggerated waddle. When I asked if his, uh, bait and tackle were bugging him, he told me, “Don’t worry about it, it’s all good.”
So I stopped worrying about it.
The final realisation came on me slowly, and the day I just suddenly stopped worrying about my roommates dick and balls was when it really hit me. As the smell my roommate carried with him permeated my life, I found myself unable to say no to him. Ever. When he told me to clean the living room, I started doing it almost without realising it.
One day when we were tidying up he handed me an old algebra textbook and said, jokingly, “Enjoy it.” That night, even though I knew it was a literal textbook full of explanations and practice questions, I found myself riveted as I read every page. The whole time, my roommate’s smell was filling my nostrils, making me sniff hard, taking the scent deep into myself.
This time, I knew I had to really confront him. So I sat down on the couch the next morning and waited for him to wake up. When he came out of his bedroom, he saw me waiting and waddled over to stand next to me. As he did, I felt a wave of humidity wash over me, carrying the thick, rich smell, so intense my eyes started to water.
He looked down at me, with an infuriatingly superior smirk on his face. “Yeah, dude,” he said, “you’re ready.” He dropped his sweats, letting his balls flop out.
He was going commando. He must have been for weeks at that point, because there was no way his balls could have been contained in any underwear. They were fucking enormous, each one almost the size of my fist and hanging low in his drooping sac.
The smell, radiating from what I now knew to be its source, hit me like a physical blow. I slid off the couch onto the floor.
My roommate took my place, easing himself down and gently lifting his balls with his hands so they lay between his spread thighs. His cock, still a normal size, looked tiny resting on top of his distended sac. A bead of sweat formed at the peak of the right ball and rolled into the dark, wrinkled skin below. I was transfixed by its progress.
“You wanna taste, little guy?” my roommate asked, holding his hand out toward my face, still slick with his ballsweat from moving them into position.
Without even thinking, I leaned forward and licked his palm. It tasted like salty, stale sweat, mixed with BO, dried cum, and just a little bit of stale piss. My roommate obviously hadn’t been washing it properly. It tasted like heaven, like the taste of something I’d been waiting for my whole life without knowing it.
Without a thought left in my head, I dove between his legs, burying my face in my roommate’s balls. I huffed the scent that had been slowly infiltrating my mind for months, feeling it break down the last of my resistance with its salty tang. As my roommate started to moan in his deep, sexy voice, I licked his balls, bringing in my hands to manipulate them and really get to know my new masters.
“Yeah,” my roommate groaned, jacking his cock as I slobbered between his enormous balls. “That’s a good ballslut. You’re just what I wanted, bro. I’m your Ballmaster, right?”
I nodded, burying my face deeper in my new favourite place, deep in my roommate’s huge, sweaty balls.
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I feel like Roger loved both Buggy and Shanks equally, it’s just that he REALLY saw himself in Shanks and less so in Buggy, which made Buggy feel like the less loved child, just because he didn’t quite have the same “Oh wow we are just immediately on the same wavelength” like these two
If you asked Roger though he would have spoken about both of them with equal pride. He may see himself in Shanks but Buggy is … Buggy is just his own entire thing and sometimes Roger is kind of stupefied at this young pirate just putting so much into showmanship and being FLASHY and by god this is a greedy little shit but that just means he is just always going after something.And once he gets it he’s gonna show it off in the flashiest way possible that’s just so infectiously joyful to witness. Also- bombs?! Who taught him that?! Rayleigh did you teach him that? He didn’t teach him that! How’d that boy get so crafty! Hey guys check it out Buggy made a BOMB! Haha, hey may never know quite what’s going on with this brat but what a lad! His little firecracker…
Buggy wasn’t unloved but he was a massive causality of Shanks “chosen one” status (another one of these is Shanks himself imo but that’s getting into theory corner), because in his eyes that didn’t leave him to be anything else.
Yessss I do agree that Roger didn't really have a favourite, just different approaches to the kids. If there was any favouritism it would be unintentional, like I've said before. Because I really don't think Roger was that type of man. He loved those kids, they were basically like his sons.
I also agree that he saw himself in Shanks. And he saw something completely different in Buggy. Not just in the way that he was different from himself and Shanks, but he was different from everyone. Roger has never met someone like Buggy before and that fascinated him. This little kid was so... flashy, as he put in his own terms. And he was a go-getter. Roger was convinced that kid had the potential to flip the world upside down if it would get him what he wanted. And there's something so refreshing about that kind of unending determination. The only thing that stood in the way of that was his inferiority complex. And oh did Roger try to make it better. He tried his best to treat him and Shanks equally. Always told them both they could do anything they put their mind to, and that he loved and cared for them deeply. But it just didn't seem to penetrate through Buggy's thick skull. Him giving his hat to Shanks did NOT help. I think that small action was truly the catalyst for the "chosen one" complex you talked about. I mean the effects of it are still very much present, with Luffy and all...
I don't think Buggy was really a casualty in Shanks and his "chosen one" status (at least not as big of a casualty as Shanks himself) because he didn't let himself get stuck because of it, like Shanks did. He knew he couldn't reach his full potential in his friend's shadow, so he left. He started a new life because he refused to be stagnant. And he had a goal, a dream, that did not match what Shanks wanted. So of course he left, because Buggy always goes after what he wants. He chose to go forward, but Shanks stayed there. He could not move forward. He was destined to be forever that little boy on Oro Jackson, the pirate king's chosen one, and that teen Buggy left in Loguetown. (Taylor Swift - Right where you left me, literally)
On a lighter note... those damn bombs!!! Who taught him???? Literally no one. I'm convinced he just threw shit together. And honestly, Buggy is very smart. He figured how things work very quickly at a young age, and he was always good with his hands. It's another thing Roger always felt proud about him. "His little firecracker..." Anon shut up right now I will cry 😭😭 that's so cute
Thank you for this!! Sorry for replying late, I knew I was gonna write something long so I wanted to do it when I had the time
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⋆⁺₊❅⋆ holiday headcanons event !!
day 4.1: being sakusa's secret santa 🎁
🍰 genre: fluff !!
✒️ word count: 970
💭 summary: being sakusa's secret santa 🎁
📣 thanks for requesting anon ! if you'd like to request any other prompt for any other character, please refer to my holiday headcanons event and send me an ask!
you had a dumb smile on your face that spoke of anxiety and hesitation, you had no idea if he'd like the gift you got for him. you weren't even that close to the man, he always did seem untouchable from where he stood, and not being that into others in the first place... it seemed highly unlikely you two were ever going to have a conversation outside of the court or arenas, let alone anything that didn't involve volleyball.
you were just the team's manager, one of the people responsible for handling the members; but even though you knew everything about the others, kiyoomi sakusa was the only enigma out of all of them. you tried to get close to him over the years you two have worked together, but he always seemed to be aloof and distant, not really someone you'd see yourself becoming friends with.
you knew a few basic things about him, like how he loved to keep himself clean, never went to after parties, spoke only when spoken to, was extremely forward and direct to the point. there were multiple instances where you felt tiny under his gaze, and it wasn't just because he literally towered over you in terms of stature, but because his gaze... it was cold and sharp when it was clear he didn't like nor was comfortable with a certain thing. you've seen him gaze at hinata, atsumu, and bokuto like that most of the time, and you were scared he'd look at you just like that after opening the gift you got for him.
in your defense, you spent the whole two weeks you had before the get together thinking about what to gift him, you put so much thought into this; even going out of your way as to casually ask him ever so often in between practice matches and lunch breaks what he'd like his secret santa to give him, or if he had to wish for one thing, what it would be.
but of course... sakusa always answered you vaguely.
"i'd... like something that isn't dirty,"
"something that isn't so expensive, i don't like show offs,"
"...i suppose something that'd keep me warm,"
"...why are you asking?"
oh, he was good.
you took in a deep breath as everyone gathered together and the gift exchange was going to start any minute now. knowing sakusa, there was a 50-50 chance he'd either not really care about what he got and awkwardly thank you, or stare you down intensely for your choice of gift. you hoped against all hope the former would be his reaction, but as the gift exchange began, you just decided to deal with his react later, you spent your time and effort on this, even if he doesn't appreciate it, you know you always would.
"sakusa!" you exclaimed his name, beaming as you tried to push all thoughts of him judging you for your gift to the back of your mind, trying to enjoy the present moment for what it is, not what could be. the wavy, black haired man turns to look at you, his stoic gaze unchanging as you walk up to him, beaming. he clutched his gift for the person he was supposed to be the secret santa of in his hands, seems like he hasn't found them yet.
"um... so, you know how you've complained about the cold as of late? well... i made this for you, myself. a-and don't worry! i washed my hands every time i worked on this, and before i packaged it. yes, i disinfected the box, too, so, no need to worry about it being dirty, hmm?" you said in a fast tone, wanting to get this over with because you couldn't deal with sakusa's bluntness on you right now.
you awkwardly handed him the gift when he didn't say anything, just kept gazing at you as you spoke. he probably listened to you the whole time, seeing as how he didn't tear his gaze away from you for a moment. looking down at the gift you handed him, sakusa felt that it'd be high time to hand his secret santa his gift.
"...here," sakusa mumbled from behind his mask in a soft voice, extending his gift to you. you stared at the gift in his hand, dumbstruck. "y... you're my secret santa?" you muttered, your face feeling hotter as he paused and nodded, hoping you'd take the gift soon. you thanked him as you took the gift from him, and as if on cue, you both unwrapped the gifts you both had for each other.
sakusa's eyes widened at the sight of a cozy scarf you made for him, with a set of gloves along with it. you smiled at the sight, proud of your hard work. "well... whaddya think?" you asked him, beaming. sakusa unfurled the scarf and, not looking at you, he nodded. "...the colors are nice, and... so is the texture," he whispered. he looked at you, pulling his mask down so he could be heard properly. "thank you," he muttered, a tint of pink in his cheeks.
now, you weren't sure what sakusa gifted you yet, but the sight of kiyoomi sakusa himself thanking you for a gift you poured all your time and effort on, overthinking whether he'd appreciate it or not as the hours ticked by before the exchange... it truly warmed your heart. to hear sakusa be grateful for you was the only gift you ever really needed, and for sakusa... just anything from you would be enough; he was more than glad on the inside to get something so intimate from you, made by you. he'll definitely wear it every time he felt cold now, and if anyone asks... he'll just say it's from a special someone.
#sakusa kiyoomi#kiyoomi sakusa#sakusa x reader#sakusa x you#sakusa x y/n#sakusa fluff#kiyoomi x reader#kiyoomi sakusa x reader#hq kiyoomi#haikyuu kiyoomi#haikyuu sakusa#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu fanfiction#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x you#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu x gender neutral reader#haikyuu x gn!reader#haikyuu scenarios#hq#hq x reader#hq x you#hq x y/n#hq x gn!reader#hq x gender neutral reader#msby sakusa
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Shirtless Cuddles with The Batch
Tags: Trans!Reader/M!Reader, masculine terms, AFAB reader, romantic but fluffy, cuddles, just general nice fluff, gayness
A/N: This is a scenario for all of my trans fellas out there. Or anyone that was born AFAB but isn't necessarily comfortable with their chest. How the Batchers would react if you wanted to sleep without your shirt on.
Basically, for context I am trans, and I am AFAB. I have not had top surgery yet but find it uncomfortable to sleep with my shirt on most nights. I've been stuck in the Bad Batch brain rot at the moment and was wondering what it would be like to cuddle with the Clones for the first time without a shirt on. In a fluffy romantic context tho. (I don't even know if any of this is making sense but if it does then please read on. Also I wanted to include Omega but didn't really know how to make that work so she unfortunately won't be in this one)
Scenario: You and your Clone are settling down for bed, it's been a long day and the missions have been rough recently. The two of you make your way to your shared quarters and you both begin changing for bed. You go to change out your shirt for another more comfortable one but you stop before you can even pull it over your head. You've been with your partner for a few years now and they know about your identity, they accept it wholeheartedly, but you've never taken the step to show them your body. You never felt ready, but something feels different tonight. "Hey, I want try something tonight?" Your Batcher turns to you and waits for you to respond looking slightly confused "I don't really want to wear my shirt tonight; it gets irritating sometimes. But I didn't know how you would react to my chest"
Hunter
Hunter turns to you and gives you a soft smile, he's knows that you toss and turn a lot of the night not being able to find a comfortable way to place your arms with your t-shirt twisted around you body. It the exact reason why he hardly wears a shirt in bead. He reaches forward and slips his fingers underneath your shirt, he looks at you for consent to keep going and when you nod, he gently pulls it over your head and tosses it aside. His hands rest on your hips, and he looks at you, he doesn't even bother to look at your chest. It doesn't matter to him, he loves you for you, not your body, he loves the handsome man standing in front of him.
The two of you walk over to the bed and settle under the covers, you turn inwards, so your chest is facing his and curl up, he wraps his arms around you, stroking the exposed skin of your back and gives you a soft kiss on the forehead before looking back into your eyes, softly he says, "You will always be my handsome man, no matter what."
And with that you rest your head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat as his torso rises and falls with each steady breath.
Crosshair
Crosshair looks at you with a small question on his furrowed brow "Why are you asking me? It's your body so it's your choice"
Knowing that's as about as good as a response you are going to get from him you turn around and pull your shirt off, discarding it.
He looks at the floor as you do so but when you turn back around he looks up, he looks at your chest briefly but only for a moment, your arms are crossed over it, but doesn't think much of it. Your chest doesn't change his image of you. He gives you a wry but reassuring grin and pulls you over to the bed and the two of you climb in.
He isn't wearing a shirt either so as he rolls over and pulls your back into his chest you can feel his breathing and his heartbeat and his warmth, the feeling very calming. He wraps his arms around your stomach careful to not touch your chest and pulls you closer to his so your spine curves into his chest.
He traces patterns into your stomach and lower chest, he traces a line up in the small space between your ribs in your upper chest, he does it slowly, creeping up ever so slightly and when you don't protest he lays his hand there, feeling your heartbeat. He sighs contentedly and so do you.
He gives you a kiss on the back of your head and mumbles "Love you" so quietly you almost don't hear it. You hum in response "Love you too Cross" and the two of you drift off to sleep.
Wrecker
Wrecker is a little slow on the uptake and doesn't quite understand what you are getting at, at first.
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"I wasn't born the same as you, remember? My chest isn't flat like yours"
He thinks for a moment and then it dawns on him what you are getting at "Oh?! Yeah, I did kinda forget, you are just so manly it's hard to remember that sometimes"
You laugh, he's so endearing and his blunt honestly makes your heart thrum with happiness. Even if he doesn't realise his comments about blatantly stating how "manly" you are always fill your heart fit to bursting.
"So is it ok?" you ask again
"Yeah?! Of course!" he cups your face in his hands and gives you a big kiss on the forehead.
You take a step back to take of your shirt and then you step into his space again and he gives you a massive bear hug, you let out a laugh as he throws you onto the bed. He dives after you and you are both a laughing mess. So much for going to sleep.
He pulls you over so you are laying on top of him and he wraps his arms tightly around you "You are amazing you know that?"
You giggle and reply "You're amazing too Wrecker" and with that you lay there together, humming and laughing softly, an endless loop of uncontainable happiness. You felt so lucky to be loved by someone like Wrecker.
Tech
Tech also doesn't quite understand, he looks at you quizzically and says "Yes? That is fine? Why do you ask?"
"Because it's important?" you respond a little upset by his blunt response
He thinks for a moment and studies your face as he does so, he seems to come to a conclusion and opens his mouth again "Would you like me to close my eyes or turn away?"
You shrug your shoulders noncommittally and Tech considers you for another moment, then his face lights up slightly, like a lightbulb going off in his head. He removes his goggles and places them beside your shared bed "There. This way I can't see and you know that I won't be able to see"
You chuckle at him, he's not wrong but it still feels a little bit silly. He seems to understand there is still some hesitancy and he takes your hand "You should only do what you are comfortable with, and you should know that I would never judge you for your body. No matter what"
He gives your hand a reassuring squeeze before he nods his head towards the bed. "Do you wish to cuddle or should I give you some space"
In response you scooch over to him and lay an arm over his side placing your head on his palm, which he turns over to cup the side of your face.
"Maybe one day you can ask the Kaminoan's to help alleviate your chest dysphoria. But you should know by now that your body will never define your gender."
His statement makes you tear up a little and you smile at him "Thank you Tech"
"It is no problem my dear"
Echo
Echo looks a little taken aback "Yes, that's fine" he doesn't really seem to know what to say, and neither do you.
Instead, you slip your shirt off and he looks away politely. You touch his arm to grab his attention and turn back but he continues to look at your feet.
"Can I look?" he asks shyly
"Yeah, that's the point silly" you say with a chuckle
"That's not exactly what I meant" he says even more quietly than before. "I mean can I look at you, all of you?"
You feel warmth creep up your neck and cheeks as he says this
"Y-yeah" you stutter out and he looks up at you.
He looks into your eyes first and then drops them to your chest, he doesn't say anything but he also doesn't look for very long. You stand there a little shy and a little self-conscious but he looks away quickly enough that you don't feel uncomfortable.
He takes his one good hand and raises it to your cheek, cupping it gently and you nuzzle into it humming.
"You are a very beautiful person. I feel like the luckiest Clone alive to be with someone as amazing as you. Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share your body with me. I know that couldn't have been easy"
You smile back at him, a grin stretching its way across your face "You can't be the luckiest man alive because I have you, and that makes me the luckiest" He blushes in return, the deep red a stark contrast to his pale skin.
You both crawl into bed and you wrap your arms around each other and slowly doze off, never letting go of one another.
Hope you enjoyed! This one goes out to all my trans brothers out there!
!Feel free to request any other ideas that you would like me to write!
#tbb#the bad batch#the bad batch x trans reader#trans reader#AFAB reader#tbb crosshair#tbb hunter#tbb tech#tbb wrecker#tbb echo#the bad batch hunter#the bad batch wrecker#the bad batch crosshair#the bad batch echo#the bad batch tech#tech x reader#crosshair x reader#hunter x reader#wrecker x reader#echo x reader#x reader#x trans reader#x male reader#xm!reader#m!reader#afab!reader#afab transmasc#head canons#tbb head canons#scenario
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