#i feel bad bc like the first two dates went really well and i was feelin him but i was still like. really not doing good
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Going through my drafts and i realize i never posted that update about this date i had with this guy last august
#it was a SO FUN but also a complete disaster#i feel bad bc like the first two dates went really well and i was feelin him but i was still like. really not doing good#bc of my job and still getting used the grief at the time so i eas exhausted and trying so hard to mask#anyway that third date we had i was tired i was hurting everywherte for no reason i eas grouchy and yes he still put up with me#which was moreso his anxiety ramping up at my avoidance but we laughed about it later#we were supposed to see a movie but the outdoor theatre he took me to was 4 hours away from my apartment. i didnt bring my phone charger#bc i thought it was the one 30 minutes away so my shit died in the middle of the drive back home. his did too. we were officially lost 4 hrs#away from the city bc we were using google maps up til then. so we were talking otw to the nearest gas station (it was 1am atp)#and i was like Dude im so sorry but i dont think this is gonna work and he was so relieved bc he didnt either#plus he planned to move like a few months later n i wanted sumn a lil longer so we ended up just beim friends afterwards#which was cool bc he was a genuinely neat dude! but we were still lost btw and it was almost 2 so we like#had to share a charger in his minivan charging port and wait til our phones had enough juice to run google again#it was like 5am by the time i got back home i had work later that night and i barely got any sleep#*** if youre out there i hope youre doing ok#i say this like i dont have his snap actually i should hit him up sometime#anyway#mag.txt
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where do broken hearts go? [lmk]
you know what they say about past lovers that can remain just as friends - either they're still in love with each other, or they never were in the first place.
pairing: mark lee x fem! reader
genre: exes to lovers. angst, fluff.
wc: 12k (11.926)
warnings: mention of sex, weed and alcohol, heartbreak, swearing, park jihoon of treasure is one sassy bitch and also accidentally somehow the main character of this fanfic plz dont @ me, inconsistent writing style bc i took 3 months and 3 depressive episodes to finish this fic
playlist: where do broken hearts go - one direction / too good to say goodbye - bruno mars / everytime - ariana grande / closer - waterparks / tornado warnings - sabrina carpenter / survive the night - the boyz
a/n: hey do some of you still remember me..... AHAHA tell a friend to tell a friend rrxnjun is BACK! this fic isn't the ideal vision i had in my mind but we are working on not being so hard on ourselves with our writing so! here we are. i still kind of like it :,)
When you walk up to your best friend’s apartment one day with a tub of ice cream under your arm and the biggest pout on your face, Park Jihoon makes a complete list of things you should do to get over your failed relationship with Mark Lee. And while you think your dear friend has some psychopathic tendencies sometimes, you’d say the list is actually pretty reasonable of him.
There’s something about the five simple steps that makes you wonder if it’s really as easy as Jihoon makes it sound. And while you doubt it– because the pinging pain in your heart makes it seem like the heartbreak is truly going to kill you in a few minutes if you don’t do something about it– you give it a try, because come on… you’d do anything to not feel like this ever again.
Step one – cry it out.
“He was a cunt anyway,” Jihoon mutters as he steps into the living room with two spoons in his hands, throwing one of them to you– while almost managing to hit you in the middle of your forehead in the process, adding a concussion to the mix of problems you have going on right now– and you find yourself furrowing your brows at his hateful comment.
“Why’d you say that?”
“Well, as your best friend, I’m supposed to be on your side, no?” he says as he takes a seat on the sofa next to you, watching as you wrap one of the thick blankets you got for the male around your figure– you bought it mainly for yourself, because his apartment is cold as a freezer and you knew he wouldn’t buy one for you to use in the first place– and shrugs. “Besides, he broke your heart, and any male who does that is a cunt in my eyes.”
“I broke up with him,” you mourn, “so I broke my own heart,” you snicker, despair fully filling you up from the inside– fitting everywhere into your lungs and choking you up from how bad you truly feel. Now, this isn’t your first breakup– you’ve had your fair share of boyfriends in high school (in your baddie era, as Jihoon called it), but Choi Yeonjun from Maths class and Jung Woonyoung, the guy you dated for a total of 2 months over the summer break before he moved away, weren’t exactly boys you found yourself falling in love with. Sure, you liked them, you kissed them and went on dates with them– hell, you even hooked up with Yeonjun once before you realized the relationship truly wasn’t for you– but no one managed to cave into your heart just as much as Mark Lee, your first college boyfriend did.
“But you sure had a reason for it, come on!” Jihoon huffs, taking the tub of ice cream from your hands and opening it for you, since you’ve gotten quite weak from the lack of sleep and nutritions ever since the break up, hands clammy and not cooperating. “You don’t just break up with someone to break your own heart. He did that, that’s why you said goodbye to him,” he says before sitting the enormous tub of ice cream between your two bodies, nudging you to dig into the frozen delicacy.
“Yeah, but–”
“No buts, young lady. We are here to make you forget you ever even dated Mark Lee, so open up, eat the ice cream and focus your attention on Titanic so you can finally cry it out,” he says, and by the tone of his voice, you’d think he’s angry with you. Jihoon has this aura around him that makes you think he’s always at least a little annoyed at everything– but he told you to not mind it and that it’s just his sassy bitch attitude.
He does have a point, though. You broke up with Mark because he broke your heart first– there was no other reason for it. If it was something minor, something small, you were sure you could work on it. You have, numerous of times before, brought up something and had a mature conversation about it– something you always so admired about Mark, being so cautious and understanding when navigating problems in the relationship– but when you bring up the same thing over and over, and it never gets fixed despite him telling you he’ll try harder next time, you think you’re allowed to feel a little heartbroken at his nonexistent efforts. And that’s exactly why you decided to quit the relationship– after a while, you felt like you were putting in more effort than he was, effectively making you feel like he’s not even that interested in dating you in the first place.
First, he just told you he was forgetful. He forgot he promised to pick you up from class one day– and you said that it’s okay, he is busy, after all– and it was the first time it happened, so you didn’t really mind that much, truly. Then, he forgot about the date you scheduled– but it was fine, because you didn’t have reservations anyway, you could change the day to any other day of the week, after all. He kept forgetting the stuff you told him in between the conversations you shared– and it was small things, you understand, but sometimes, you wondered if he was ever really listening to you at all.
Forgetful soon turns not interested in your eyes, and when he doesn’t call you in the evening like he promised he would, when he doesn’t show up to the party you invited him to, because he forgot it was that day, you’re one step closer to calling it quits, because each and every one of these situations sends a sharp pain into your stomach. The last straw was just last week, though– and realistically, it was an important day, as much that you thought the day is somehow gonna fix everything, but the truth is somewhere completely else as Mark Lee forgets about your one year anniversary and never shows up at your doorstep for the dinner you prepared for the two of you like he promised he would.
And it doesn’t click in him two days after either– you don’t even get a text. He got so forgetful over time that he forgot about you completely, and that’s when you took an uber to his place and broke up with him for good.
And even though the breakup was the most painful thing you’ve ever felt yourself go through, Jihoon is right– you’re not the one that broke your own heart. Mark Lee did that for you many times before, and this was just the breaking point.
“Fucking hell, you bought cookies and cream again?” Jihoon huffs when he takes another spoonful of the ice cream into his mouth, eyebrows furrowing at the sweet taste. Looking at him from the corner of your eye, you wipe your left cheek as you hum, immune to his nagging by now.
“You know I hate cookies and cream!”
“You know, Hoon, I bought this for myself. When you’re the one that’s heartbroken, we’ll share your favorite ice cream flavor instead,” you mumble, munching on the coldness on your tongue, sniffling a little when your eyes avert to the TV screen.
And after that, the teasing from your best friend’s side stops. Maybe it’s just because he hates to see you cry– and he rarely gets the chance, if you’re being honest, since you’re pretty good at handling your emotions– but you secretly know that it’s because when he looks back at the TV screen in front of the two of you, the sad part of the movie hasn’t even started yet and the tears are not the result of the movie, but of your own thoughts instead.
Step two – give him back all of his stuff and the stuff he’s given you that reminds you of him. Demand that he does the same.
Now, step two was a thing most couples do when they break up. Realistically, it makes sense– you wouldn’t want stuff that’s not yours just laying around, and also, it’s just bound to remind you of the person you lost. Naturally, you’d want to return it.
“Why does he have to return my things as well?” you mutter under your breath as Jihoon helps you fold all Mark’s hoodies into a cardboard box, alongside with wrapping the little things your ex boyfriend made out of ceramic for you in tissue paper like you asked him to– even though he complained and said that it shouldn’t matter to you if they break, because you are the heartbroken one– but you held those little things too close to your heart to let them get damaged in the first place.
“Because that’s how it works,” Jihoon hums, watching as you throw another one of Mark’s shirts onto the top of his head, shielding his vision. “What, you don’t want your stuff back?”
“I mean…” you mumble, deeply considering of the fact that the thought of getting your stuff back didn’t even cross your mind until now, before you realize your favorite pair of socks is thrown somewhere in Mark’s drawers– the blue ones with peaches on them– and you suddenly have the revelation that while you don’t necessarily need the stuff back, you’d love to wear those socks again. “I guess…” you note as you walk over to Jihoon and take a glance into the full cardboard box, looking over the stuff and chewing on the inside of your cheek.
“It’s like witchcraft, y’know,” Jihoon points out, looking at you with fierce eyes mirroring the stupid idea that just flashed through his brain, “if you don’t exchange the things, a piece of you is still kept at his apartment and you won’t be able to move on.”
And again, Park Jihoon does have psychopathic tendencies, but he may be onto something here. So you listen to him as you nod along and close the cardboard box, ready to drive over to Mark Lee’s apartment and drop off the things you’ve collected from him for the past year. The box includes all of the clothes messily scattered across your drawers and your closet, the picture frame of you two together that you always had on your night stand, the ceramic bowls and a little tiger sculpture he made for you when he took a pottery class with his friend Renjun, and the lost guitar pics you found under your bed and at the very top of your bookshelf from when he used to bring his guitar along and play you songs on rainy afternoons. The only things of Mark’s that you kept were the love letter he gave you for your birthday and the USB with his cover of Justin Bieber’s Off my face on it that he shyly gifted to you on one of your dates; but you would never tell Jihoon that in fear of him getting rid of those most precious memories for you.
It’s good to let go, but you don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to keep something to remind you of the good times. The times you still felt loved by Mark.
“Off we go,” you say, standing up and bringing the box towards your front door, your best friend at your feet. He promised to drive you to Mark’s place– you think he’s worried about you meeting your ex-boyfriend face to face for the first time since the break up, but he said it’s because you’re too broke to Uber all the time, efficiently throwing all the considerate thoughts you were accrediting him out the window– and after a few minutes of the drive, you find yourself standing on the doorstep of Mark Lee's apartment.
Taking a deep breath in and out, almost chickening out with the flood of thoughts and excuses you could say to Jihoon when you come back to his car with the box still in your hands– sayings like “he wasn’t home” or “he didn’t want those back”, the latter stupider than the first– you decide to face your problems head-on and finally knock on the mahogany door, waiting for Mark to answer. And he does– of course he does, because he’s always home, and as his ex-girlfriend of one year, you're painfully aware of the fact– but when that happens, you feel your heart falling all the way down to your stomach, crushing you and suddenly making it hard for you to breathe.
“Um… hi,” he greets you, voice a little groggy, as if he hasn’t spoken in a while– and when you meet his eyes, the deep chocolate orbs you always found yourself admiring and writing silent odes to in your head, you quickly glance away in fear of staring into them for too long and making decisions you wouldn’t like to make.
“Hi,” you awkwardly greet back, clearing your throat and moving a little in your place, shifting the weight from one foot to the other. You're surprised you're able to keep up with the conversation, thoughts running in your brain faster than you can comprehend them, heartbeat ringing in your ears from the unexpected anxiety. Maybe Jihoon was right and you should've taken a shot before coming here– at least you'd have more courage and social skills clearly needed for this kind of interaction. “I… brought you back your things,” you say, finally looking up at the male and chewing on your lips, letting out an awkward, tense laugh when he stares at you with an empty look, “figured you’d want them back,” you add, watching as the male opens his mouth and closes it in what seems to be shock before he presses his lips tightly together and nods at you.
“Uh, yeah,” he says, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as he watches you clumsily hold up the cardboard box to him, ready to leave his stuff there with him and escape as fast as you can, not really minding how you'll get back to Jihoon's car– if jumping down the window of the entrance hall is the fastest option, you're ready to get to it. The truth is, everything is starting to get a little too hard to bear– his familiar scent filling your nose, the hoodie he wore to your first date enveloping his figure, his messy hair reminding you of the many times you brushed your fingers through it in attempts to smooth it down. It’s only been two weeks since you last saw him, but it was starting to feel as if you forgot about him already and were now relearning all the things you once fell in love with again, looking at him in the same light, yet noticing him and all the small details a little bit differently. “Thanks, I… I actually, uh… I have your stuff here too, so if you want it back I’ll– I can just–”
“Y-yeah,” you nod, almost a little too eagerly, “that would be… cool,” you say, trying hard to ignore the fact that he had your stuff packed too, intending to give it to you, and the crashing reality that comes with it, telling you he was prepared to do this before you were and how it’s making you feel kind of shitty.
Mark moves further into the apartment, the sound of him dropping the box to the floor filling your ears before he’s back at the door in no time, a similar cardboard box in his hands that he offers to you with a tense smile on his face. “Wanted to bring it around so I had an excuse to see you, but you, uh… beat me to it, I guess…”
Looking at him as you take the box out of his hands, gaze as if to tell him not to say such words to you when you’re still so fragile to his effect, you only nod and mutter out a simple “Thanks,” before you turn on your heel and intend to take the stairs back down.
“I’ll… see you around, then?” Mark calls after you as you take the first step out– something about it making you feel like it’s the first step out of his life, in a way– and you only nod, because one, you truly don’t know how else to reply to this question, and two, you really, really don’t know if you’ll ever see him again, but you can't bring yourself to say it to his face. Somehow, it would feel like torture to admit it– and you're not prepared for that reality just yet.
Rushing outside and getting into Jihoon's car, you almost feel like you’re on the verge of breaking, and when the male asks you how it went as he’s reversing out of the parking lot, you only bid him a one-word reply before you look through the box on your way home, too impatient to stay back from the memories.
And Jihoon didn’t really think this one through, because the fact that you gave Mark back the things that reminded you of him meant that he did the same, and now all the things you brought along to Mark’s apartment were in the cardboard box, all stained with countless memories and feelings attached to each and every single thing. The artwork you made for him, the little heart-shaped keychain you gave him for his birthday, the plant you gave him that was now long dead and dried out– those were once your stuff, but all in this world with the intention of love being sent out through them to your now ex-lover, and the fact that they’re in your possession again instead of his is not making letting go of Mark any easier.
And maybe Mark was right and he truly was forgetful, because as you rummage through the contains of the box, while you find out your favorite blue socks are nowhere to be seen, surely still buried somewhere in the drawers of his closet, obliterated out of his memory, there’s a gray hoodie sitting at the bottom and it’s surely not yours– it’s his and it was always your favorite, and you always used to wear it at his place when you got cold or when you just really wanted to smell his cologne, and you suddenly don't know if it's presence in the box slipped his mind or if he truly left it there on purpose.
Couldn’t he forget about that too?
Step three – block his number.
The third step comes into place after you accidentally slip out to Jihoon about the phone call you get on a Friday night– more like two hours into Saturday already– and now, most of all, you must admit that your best friend might be right about his advice.
Your phone starts ringing at 2:11 AM, and while you weren’t sleeping– you’ve been having some trouble with dozing off without being overbeared with thoughts lately– the name flashing on your screen shocks you for more reasons than one.
Mark Lee calls you, three weeks after your breakup, in the middle of the night. You haven’t spoken since the time he gave you back your stuff, and even though you’ve done quite a bit of stalking on his social media, you have no news of him or his whereabouts. Naturally, a call from him in the middle of the night startles you and shakes you to the core. He has no reason to call you, so your brain does the math and concludes there must be an emergency– and god knows that even after being hurt by him, you could never ignore him and leave him hanging in a state of need.
So you pick up– with shaky hands and a raging heartbeat, expecting the worst. Listening to the other side of the line, you take a deep breath in and out, bracing yourself for the impact of the words you’re going to hear. The voice on the other side is laced with haziness and his tone is almost a little tired– worn out, even– when he finally greets you from wherever he is.
“Hi,” Mark says, and for a second, your heartbeat steadies itself and the world stops spinning– he sounds okay, and for a moment, you’re grateful to hear his voice.
Humming, as if to collect your thoughts, you clear your throat before you offer him an answer. “Hello,” you greet, “what’s- what’s up?”
“Just wanted to hear your voice,” he says, almost a little abruptly to your question. He doesn't overthink his answer and he doesn't give himself time to think if it's a good idea or not– he just blurts it out and now it's your problem to deal with, when it's there, out in the open. Your palms get sweaty and you start to lose feeling in your fingertips, making you take a few seconds to yourself to process the situation before you decide to finally answer to the strange sentence.
“It’s late, Mark,” you mumble, and you involuntarily wonder if the sentence doesn’t have double meaning– it's too late for anyone to call at this hour, and at the same time, it’s been weeks since your ex boyfriend lost the privilege of listening to your voice when he can’t sleep in the middle of the night whenever he feels like it– and it’s now too late to do anything about it or make it any easier to deal with.
“Shit, sorry,” he chuckles to himself, and you suddenly recognise the laziness in his voice to be the effect of his and his best friend Hyuck’s Friday endeavors; the sweet coating of his voice being the effect of none other than the momentary bliss that comes with the relaxation of his body and mind when he's high. “Didn’t realize,” he concludes, making you shake your head at him in disbelief– not really mattering that he can’t see you in the act.
“‘s okay,” you mumble– and in your perfect reality, you hang up the phone now. In your perfect reality, you connect it to your charger and close your eyes, calling it a night. You fall asleep with no thoughts rummaging through your brain and wake up in the morning to a new sunny day, ready to take on the responsibilities of what’s to come, having productive days ended with smiles and a hot dinner you make for yourself just because you feel like it. In your perfect reality, you protect your own heart. This is not your perfect reality, though– and that’s why you stay on the line, listening to Mark ramble on the other side of the phone, intoxicated and slightly out of it. You wonder if he’ll remember calling you when he wakes up tomorrow. You wonder if he’ll regret it, or if he’ll just shrug his shoulders at the fact and go on with his day, not really paying you much thought when he’s sober.
“I was with Hyuck just now,” he says, and you hear the rustling of his sheets on the other side of the line, making you wonder if he’s washed up and ready for bed, “and– and I remembered how we all used to hang out together, y’know… you with us all– you always clicked with my friends and it was so cool and stuff… and I realized, right, they’re not as funny when you’re not around… but anyways… Jeno’s girlfriend asked about you, ‘cause she didn’t know…and telling her felt so silly, ‘cause they all kept looking at me and I knew they were pitying me, but it was my fault in the first place–”
“Mark–”
“No, it’s true. And it’s cool, I don’t– I don’t blame you, or anything. I just… I dunno, I guess it got me wondering…”
The line goes silent on the other side, and you settle into your own bed, giving him time to continue. When he doesn’t say anything for a long time, you wonder if he’s fallen asleep.
“Mark?”
“Hm?”
“You still there?”
“Yeah. How was your day?” he asks, tone of voice casual as ever, as if he’s forgotten about all the words he’s told you up until now– as if it’s not 2 AM and both of your hearts aren’t breaking at the sound of each other’s voice on the other side of the line.
“It… it was okay, I guess,” you say nonetheless, too hopeless to find a way to end the conversation before he does.
“That’s good to hear,” he says, sighing, “that’s… awesome. You still taking those yoga classes on Mondays?” he asks, and you snicker to yourself– because what kind of question even is that? Who asks that on a late night call, when there are more important things you two need to talk about?
“Yeah,” you lie, still. You haven’t been since the breakup.
“That’s great. Wouldn’t want you to… y’know,” he laughs to himself, “be too sad over this… ‘t was for the better, after all.”
You hear yourself hum– the noise way more stable than your actual words ever could be– and you find yourself feeling silly in the conversation, lying to your ex boyfriend through your teeth; because at the end of the day, you don’t want him to worry about you– because it seems to be the case that he is. And it’s stupid, because he hurt you and you shouldn’t care, maybe you should’ve even show him that you’re heartbroken and that he is the reason behind your pain and the way your life is falling apart, bit by bit, but you don’t find it in you to be so cold and heartless. At the end of the day, you still care about Mark and there’s nothing you could do about it. Turns out that breaking up with him doesn’t magically make the feelings go away– and you knew that, but now you have proof.
“What were you saying before, by the way? You… trailed off at the end,” you say, reminding him of his previous words.
“Oh, that,” he snickers into the microphone again, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he twists and turns in the sheets, “don’t worry about it. It was selfish of me.”
It was selfish of him to call in the first place. But you won’t tell him that.
“What was it?”
“It’s just… I was wondering if I lost you forever, y’know… if there was a chance we could ever…” he trails off again, but this time, you don’t bug him to complete it. You’re not stupid– you know the implication of his words. You’ve known him for a long time, after all– maybe you should’ve predicted this when you picked up the call.
“I mean…” you hum, “you didn’t lose me completely, if that’s– if that’s what’s keeping you up at night. We’re still friends, aren’t we?” you say, and in the corner of your brain, you can’t even believe the words yourself– but if it was selfish of him to call, you think it’s okay for you to selfishly fill both of you with empty promises, just for the sake of not breaking your heart even further.
“Yeah,” he mumbles, “that’s– …I’m glad.”
The line’s silent after that, and you wonder if you two have used up the list of words to say to each other this time, if there’s truly no other answer at the end of this conversation. When the situation gets too much for you to bear, the heaviness finally settling on your shoulders and your chest, you finally find the courage to sniffle out a quiet goodbye.
“Good night, Mark.”
“G’night,” he drags out, mind still cloudy. “Love you,” spills out from his tongue, like a bad habit.
He ends the call before you get to say it back. Maybe that’s for the better.
And the truth is, you should’ve really listened to Park Jihoon and blocked Mark’s number after this encounter. But you didn’t– you’re too weak for Mark’s sweet words, finding yourself still hanging on to his saccharine voice and the muffled ramble he has reserved for you only every time he gets high and loses all self-control before calling you on Friday nights selfishly demanding your attention, somehow falling for him like a teenager over and over again despite promising yourself you're gonna move on for real now.
Step four – date someone new.
“So…” Jihoon starts one day, eyes glued to your skull like laser beams, the tone of his voice so incomprehensible you think he’s going to scold you for the actions of your previous days– even though you haven't told him about the midnight calls with Mark and so if he's not going through your phone, he has no way of knowing. Tense and nervous, still, knowing that the impact of his words could either heal you or cut you open like a knife– damn him for always being so brutally honest, no matter how soft his heart is for you– you smile at him with tight lips, crossing your arms on your chest in defense.
“So…?”
A nervous laugh almost escapes your throat. If Jihoon wasn’t suspicious of you before, he surely is now– or he just finds you strange by the way he furrows his brows at you and scans you up and down, taking a second for himself before he sighs and seemingly decides to drop the weird way you’re acting right now, shaking his head and focusing on the task at hand.
“I was thinking… my friend asked about you,” he says, nonchalantly looking down onto his hands and taking the dirt out from behind his nails, as if it’s not a big deal and he doesn’t even care that much. “Choi Hyunsuk from Biology, you know him– shabby haircut, kinda short, failed the class so he has to retake it this year…?”
“I think you’re forgetting the fact that the two of us have completely different majors, Hoonie,” you sweetly smile at him with irony, making him roll his eyes with a sigh before he tries again.
“The guy who ripped his pants at Xiao Dejun’s party last year?”
“Oh, that one! You should’ve said that earlier, of course I remember Choi Hyunsuk from your Biology class,” you nod hurriedly, the gears finally clicking in your brain.
“As if I wasn’t talking about him for the last few minutes–”
“Okay, and what about him?” you cut him off, already tired of his annoying tangent.
“I said he asked about you.”
“I heard that already,” you nod, looking at him with expecting eyes. “And?”
Jihoon stares at you, unblinking, as if you fell on your head and he’s trying to comprehend if you’re still here with him or if you got a concussion and need to be transferred into a hospital. When the contact of his eyes on your skin gets a bit too uncomfortable– you swear his looks could actually kill someone, if he tried enough– you furrow your brows at him in confusion and shake your head in disbelief.
“Why are you staring at me like that, Park Jihoon?”
“Just tryna see if you’re really that stupid or if you’re just pretending,” he mutters under his nose before he sighs again– his favorite activity whenever you’re around, it seems– and speaks up again, tone of voice reminding you of a kindergartener teacher trying to explain why it gets dark in the evening to a bunch of 4 year olds. “You know, when people ask about you, they are usually interested in you, as in, my friend Hyunsuk didn’t ask because you’re nice, but because you’re hot, if you know what I'm getting onto.”
“Oh,” you get out, eyes wide in concern and a little shaken-up, “well, that’s… nice of him, I guess.”
Jihoon only hums at you before he looks around himself and brings out the bag of chips that he left open by his right side only a few seconds ago, not really speaking more about the topic. It’s either he’s waiting for you to get what he’s hinting at, or he’s just waiting for you to get even more confused and ask him about it in a few seconds again– either way, he’s not the one doing more talking right now, because conversations with you, the most oblivious person he’s ever seen, are never productive if he goes too fast.
Chewing on the chips, his eyes go wide when you finally open your mouth and talk more about the topic at hand– just like he predicted. “Why are you telling me this?”
Your best friend swallows before he places the bag of chips back to its original place and turns his whole body so he’s facing you, speaking up again. “I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, you’d like to hang out with him. Like a date, before you ask– because I know you’re gonna ask– and why? – because, again, I know you’re gonna ask– because I simply think you should try to date again to get your mind off the loser you broke up with two months ago,” he says, blunt and honest, answering all of your unsaid questions at once, and before you know it, he has you snickering and shaking your head in disapproval.
“Absolutely not,” you retort, waving your hands in the air to only further show your disagreement with the proposition, “that would just be a massive catastrophe.”
“Why? Hyunsuk’s nice.”
“I didn’t say he isn’t, it’s just…”
“Just?” he probes you, eyebrows raised and questioning.
“I… don’t know,” you nervously chew on the inside of your cheek, aimlessly shrugging. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea, Jihoon.”
“Because of Mark?” he asks, and the moment his name escapes your best friend’s mouth, the whole room goes strangely quiet– you feel your heartbeat in your throat, the tips of your fingers start tingling and you swear that if you concentrate hard enough, you could feel a bead of sweat drip down your forehead with the incoming stress and nerves only the mention of your ex boyfriend brings you.
“No, that’s not it–”
“Sure,” he nods, sighing to himself– and there it is again, the judging look you so despise.
“You can’t just expect me to date other people a few weeks after my break up, Jihoon,” you exclaim, “that– that wouldn’t even be fair to your friend. You know I wouldn’t be invested,” you explain, and your friend rolls his eyes in frustration, sighing to himself.
“Oh but I know that! And Hyunsuk does too,” he shakes his head at you, “just thought the company of someone else could take your mind off things.”
“I have you,” you try.
“Yeah, but all we do when we’re together is mope about Mark Lee,” Jihoon snickers, “and don’t get me wrong, I’m more than open to bitch about your ex boyfriend and as your best friend, I don’t mind, but the fact that you’d be hanging out with someone else could take your mind off him, because you wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about him with someone else, y’know?”
You shut your eyes closed, a heavy sigh heaving out of your body as you try hard to concentrate and not lose it, and with how Jihoon’s tone gets softer and he’s not as loud with his brutal, yet logical advice, he must feel you getting overwhelmed and accommodates to your needs. “Look, it’s gonna be fun. I promise. Hang out with someone new, feel wanted and hot and pretty again, get some male attention that’s not your ex boyfriend, and you’ll see how it makes you feel. If you hate it, you hate it and you can slap me, I don’t know... If you don’t, you can keep dating around with my friends, and I swear I’ll hook you up only with the nice ones,” he takes your hand into his and waves it around in comfort, making you open your eyes and look at him again.
Seeing the softness and encouragement in your best friend’s eyes, you sigh to yourself. All this time, he’s tried to help you– what if you finally follow his advice? Who knows, it might even help.
Sighing, you squeeze his palm and hover over him to get the stranded bag of chips he’s guarding on the other side of the sofa. “Fine,” you mutter, “but let your friend know that he’s the one paying, okay?”
“Perfect. I'll text him your number, then.“
And maybe Jihoon was right and after dolling yourself up and dressing up in your favorite dress just so you would feel as comfortable as possible, you don’t feel as bad when his friend Hyunsuk picks you up in his white Volvo and chats with you on the way to the restaurant. He makes good small talk and even gets a giggle out of you, the music in his car is low and you find yourself slowly easing into the situation. You don’t remember when the last time you went out with a guy that wasn’t Mark was, but it’s surprisingly nice.
And Jihoon was right– you feel pretty. And when Hyunsuk opens the door for you after pulling up to the parking lot of the restaurant, you even feel wanted. You like the attention, just like any other girl would, and the smile you offer to your date seeps of tender shyness as you get out of the comfortable seat of his car.
The illusion, though, is soon broken as you notice the restaurant he pulled up to. Your smile freezes, your palms get sweaty and you feel your heartbeat rummaging against your ribcage as soon as the idle atmosphere of the restaurant opens up before you. And realistically, you could turn on your heel and get back to the car, tell Hyunsuk that you want to go to another restaurant– but you don’t do it, against your biggest wishes, because you worry that the boy already made a reservation and you don’t want to ruin an evening that’s going well so far.
“Everything alright?” your date checks up on you, seemingly noticing the frown on your face, and when his worried eyes meet yours, it’s sealed– you’d feel too bad for pulling out of the date now. So you only do what you always do best– you put on your best relaxed smile and nod, catching up to him and ensuring him that you’re all okay and you didn’t just talk yourself out of an anxiety attack.
Because you owe it to him and to Jihoon– both of them worked so hard to make you feel happy and help you to get over your ex boyfriend. It’s not Hyunsuk’s fault that he just managed to pick the restaurant your said ex boyfriend works at part-time. He had no way of knowing, and if you’re lucky enough, Mark wouldn’t be on today. He only works here part-time, it’s not like he’s here every day, and as far as you’re concerned, he only worked like two or three days a week when you dated. It would be a weird coincidence for him to be working the day you go there with your new date– you hope you’re not that unlucky.
Hyunsuk is a gentleman. Opening up doors for you, pulling out the chair for you, letting you talk and not interrupting you. He watches you with fond eyes and you almost try to feel bad for the fact that even if this ended well, the poor boy would just end up being a rebound. He deserves so much more, and you start to worry if this date was a good idea after all. Wasn’t it selfish of you to agree to this?
“What do you want to get?” he asks as you open up the menu, and you squint at the prices, mentally taking a note to order the cheapest thing just in case he wants to pay for you at the end of the evening.
“Spaghetti Bolognese,” you blurt out, despite it not being your favorite meal. Hyunsuk just stares at you with squinted eyes, but doesn’t disagree with you. After all, he has no way of knowing that you dislike the taste of the sauce in most restaurants– even though your conscience tells you that Mark knew that and always made sure to remind you about it before ordering for you, worried that you won’t get to eat much that evening– the only thing left to hope is that it tastes good in this particular place.
“Okay, sure,” he nods and puts the menu down, smiling at you before engaging in a comfortable conversation with you. It feels like you’ve known Hyunsuk forever– his personality oddly reminding you of Jihoon’s caused mainly by the fact that the two have grown up together. Everything flows soundly, but you still find yourself anxiously picking at your cuticles as you cautiously look around the restaurant, fearing the fact that you could catch a glimpse of your ex boyfriend at any second.
And maybe you should be a psychic, because those bad feelings were not there for nothing– when you see a waiter walking out of the back and eyeing your table, ready to get your order, the boy is a few inches taller than your current date, raven hair messy, but still a little styled, dark circles under the man’s eyes, and there he is– your ex boyfriend. Mark Lee halts in his movements, wearing his work uniform, eyes wide, a hint of something that breaks you at least in two mirroring in his orbs before he turns on his heel and disappears in the back again. When he doesn’t come back and his co-worker joins you and Hyunsuk at your table with a warm smile, you stop waiting to see the glimpse of him you selfishly desired to catch despite fearing the interaction the whole evening.
You want to fall through the floor and disappear in the depths of this earth. For some reason, you feel mortified. What would he think? And why do you even care about his feelings? A million different thoughts run through your brain and you worry that you’re being too distant from your current date, but Hyunsuk’s warm eyes reassure you that he doesn’t mind.
Piercing the food on your table with your eyes, you try to battle the noisy words running around your brain.
It’s easy to say you’re over someone when you don’t see them. To have them in front of you, meet their gaze and acknowledge their existence and still be able to nod and say that you’ve moved on, is something completely different.
Were you ever convinced that you were over Mark Lee in the first place, though?
After all of this– the months of following Jihoon’s advice, although making a few mishaps along the way as you continue to pick up Mark’s calls on Friday nights, snoop around his socials and let your mind wander to places it shouldn’t, overthinking everything and making you wish the relationship never ended in the first place– it’s time for the last step of it all. The last, most crucial part of this whole moving on process– the most important one, if you may.
Step five – avoid him at all costs.
Sounds easy, right? After the four previous steps, you’d already cried plenty about the lost months with your ex-boyfriend. You’d already given him back all of his stuff, not tying yourself to him with any material memory. You’d already gone on a date with someone new, choosing to distract yourself instead of letting yourself feel the emotions. After all the previous steps, this one’s supposed to be the easiest one. The one you’re supposed to want to do, after all. The break-up wasn’t messy, but it was still painful– it’s only natural for you to not want to see Mark ever again, right?
Wrong.
Because you never listen to the advice you’re given. That just wouldn’t be you, would it?
And so when Mark Lee calls you one day and tells you that he has a free train ticket to the Bukhansan stop, explaining that he was supposed to go hike there with Donghyuck who canceled on him last minute because of an assignment due midnight, you don’t really hesitate much before you shoot him a short text saying that you’re down and get ready for the short hike.
When you meet your ex boyfriend at the station, his figure slightly slouched up until the moment his eyes meet yours, you feel the quiet tension in the air. You’ve seen each other a few times before this meeting– on a party you went to with Jihoon, at the campus when you went to class one morning, your ex boyfriend walking you towards the Art building, hell, you’ve even met in the grocery store, all accidental and making your heart leap in your chest with tension. This time, though, you’re here completely intentionally, just to hang out with him, and something about the fact makes a dull pain shoot all through your intestines, a sensation so uncomfortable you try to hide with a tight-lipped smile.
“Ready for the hike?” he asks, adjusting the bag on his back, playing with the straps with clammy fingers. You can’t help but notice how he looks just like a little boy, in his little world, shielded from everything. He seems to have taken a protective stance, and you hate how the air between you shifted from how you two used to be when you were dating. Mark seems scared. Nervous. On top of his feet. Maybe you shouldn’t have agreed to this at all.
You’re already here, though. Turning around and leaving wouldn’t really work right now, as you take a step towards the train that’s just arrived, humming to your ex boyfriend in agreement. Taking a seat on the place Mark’s pointed to you on the train ticket, you try to loosen up your muscles and get as comfortable as you can, clearing your mind as you gaze outside of the window.
“How have you been?” he asks, clearing his throat.
Pressing your lips into a tight line, you turn to him as you search for an answer. “Better,” you nod, voice quiet. “You?”
Mark hums, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Good, good,” he lies through his teeth, “I’ve seen you at the restaurant the other day,” he hints, and you battle the sigh that’s begging to cut out of your throat. You don’t know where he’s going with the sentence. It’s not a question– only a proposition, barely even that– and you could ignore it with a nod of your head, you could pay it no mind as you see the bitterness in his gaze and the slightly self-conscious averting of his stare. You don’t know where he’s going with the conversation, but frankly, you don’t know where you are going with your answer either, as you shrug to him in a casual manner and peep under your breath.
“Yeah,” you say, “that was just… Jihoon’s friend from uni, I suppose,” you complete, and the sentence hints at nothing– it doesn’t clear out the confusion, it doesn’t outright say anything that could make Mark believe that it was just a casual hang-out with a friend, but still, you see the boy visibly relax as he nods to you and offers you a tight-lipped smile.
“Oh,” he hums, looking out of the window, past the profile of your face. The change in topic is sudden and sharp, but also welcome as he falls into a casual conversation with you, and suddenly, you’re reminded by the Mark you once knew– the guy you’ve once called not socially awkward, but so social that it’s awkward– as he talks to you about his day and rambles on about the weather. “It’s good that it won’t rain today, I bet the view will be nice.”
Locking your gaze with him for a brief second, you lick your lips and point your eyes towards the ground. It’s good that it won’t rain today, as opposed to last time you two went to the Bukhansan trail. You wonder if he remembers.
Before you have a chance to mention it– and in all reality, you won’t, no matter how bold you could be feeling at the moment– the train comes to a stop at your station and you hop out of the carriage, ready for the hike.
It’s easy to forget how messed up things have gotten between the two of you when you walk alongside with your ex boyfriend, laughing at his silly jokes and gasping at everything he shows to you with a pointed finger, finding yourself admiring the sound of his giggle when he spots a squirrel pass your path somewhere near the top of the hill. The trail is almost empty at this hour, since the two of you have decided to go in the late afternoon, and you find your soul to finally be at peace after so many weeks, you finally feel relaxed in the nature, one with the wind and the gentle sound of birds chirping lullying your running thoughts to a rest.
You realize that this is just what you needed all this time. You needed to get out and walk for some while, to tune out yourself and to accept the fact that you’re still here, for another day, and something about that is still a blessing. Watching the back of Mark’s head as he walks a step in front of you due to the narrowness of the trail in this area, you smile to yourself. It’s easy to forget just how much you were hurt by him when he heals your soul with such a simple gesture. It’s easy to forget you were hurt when he seemingly tries to put all the broken pieces back together, glue them to where they were in the first place, when things were easier and you both didn’t have so many things to worry about.
You reach the top just as the sun starts setting over the horizon, and there are only a few people scattered across the peak, sitting on their own picnic blankets and gazing into the distance. The hues of the sky paint the world in a different color, the oranges, pinks and muted purples playing with your heartstrings as you come to a halt and crouch down and feel the presence of another soul mirror your actions only a meter away to your right, his gaze glued to your side. The view is beautiful, but the feeling of being watched isn’t ignorable anymore, and so you turn to your companion and raise your eyebrows at him, wondering if he has something to say.
You don’t know how you’ll be able to come back to your life after this and pretend you still don’t want to spend every passing second with the man on your right. You don’t know how you’re supposed to ignore the ever so growing love for him– even though after being so disappointed with the past, the feelings should be decreasing, not doing the opposite– and frankly, you don’t even want to think of going back to the way it’s been for the past few months. And so you don’t– you allow yourself to indulge the moment, to ignore the pain that’s about to come, just so you could hold another beautiful memory to your heart and enjoy the moment before it hurts you to think of it tomorrow morning.
“It’s even more beautiful than the last time,” Mark hums, but his eyes never leave your figure– if you were still dating, you bet he’d come out with a cheesy line about how you’re prettier than the view, or something. “It didn’t rain this time around, thank god.”
Gazing at him, you shake your head in disbelief. Scoffing, you play with the grass between your fingers. “You remember that?”
“Yeah,” he hums, “I remember a lot of things.”
The sentence makes you bitterly chuckle. He knows why you’re reacting the way you are– and you have every right to. He claims to remember a lot of things, but the ones important to you, the ones you wanted him to remember, he failed to save into his memory. And that’s eventually what made you break up with him, at the end of it all.
At your reaction, he sighs and drags a hand across his face, seemingly realizing the weight of his own words and just how ridiculous he must have sounded to you right now.
“I- That-” he stutters, shaking his head, “that sounded stupid right now, considering… everything… Didn’t it?”
“Kind of,” you nod, not wanting to meet his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he blurts out, voice suddenly raw and serious, so different to the tone he’s been using with you the whole afternoon, “I don’t- I can’t remember if I said that back then, when you- when you… broke up with me, but I really am sorry, Y/N. You didn’t deserve that, and I am in no way shape or form trying to make this about me, but I hate myself every day for the way things turned out and if I could go back to that day, I’d do so many things differently.”
The sky in front of you deepens in reds and you taste iron on your tongue, suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that you’ve managed to bite on your lip too hard in the midst of the conversation. Tearing out stems of grass with your clammy fingertips, you focus on the clouds running through the sky, calculating your next response.
“Okay,” you nod, not giving him much else. The answer perfectly encapsulates the way you feel on the inside right now– you don’t know if you’re ready to accept his apology, if you’re ready to let go of it and act like you weren’t hurt or that none of it ever happened, but you listened to him and you internalized his words. He is sorry. He knows he was in the wrong. And you were aware that he knew all of this before– hell, you’d even go as far as say he knew it the moment you knocked on his door that day and told him it was over– but hearing it from him surely moved something inside of you to a more comfortable place.
“I-” he starts, voice breaking making him clear his throat before he continues, “I don’t expect you to forgive me. And I know I shouldn’t have expected you to still be my friend after all of this, and that- I shouldn’t have even called you so many times and approached you at the store and stuff, but um-” he mumbles, shrugging to himself, “I guess I just couldn’t stay away from you. And again, I don’t expect you to forgive me, I don’t expect you to do anything, really. So… yeah…”
Snickering at his aimless monologue, you shake your head in disbelief. “Mark?”
“Yeah?” he stares at you, eyes a bottomless pool of emotion.
“Why did you invite me here today? What was the… point, I guess?” you ask, hugging your knees to your chest as the breeze makes goosebumps appear all over your body.
Mark offers you a sad smile, head leaned to his right as he shrugs, and this time, his eyes don’t leave yours as he spills the truth into the air. “I guess I was just feeling selfish today,” he hums, and the sentence makes you cringe with the memory of his first call to you after your break up, “wanted to spend time with you.”
“Here, of all places?”
“Yeah,” he nods, “told you. I was feeling selfish.”
Snickering, you look away, staring at the sky again. The colors are starting to blend together into a deep, dark purple– the horizon darkening as the sun starts to say its final goodbyes to the day. You sigh to yourself, yet feel no bitterness or terror at his words. Somehow, you understand. Somehow, you get him a little too well. Somehow, you think you knew the moment he texted you today, and somehow, you think you felt it in your bones when you didn’t say no, although you could have. There’s calmness in your soul when you nod at the implication of his words, leaning back on your elbows and plopping your bottom to the ground, sitting at the dusty surface.
“You said you didn’t expect anything out of me today, Mark.”
“And I don’t,” he says, voice soft.
“And you brought me here to remind me of the last time we went?” you stare at him, a hint of a bitten-back smile playing with your lips. “Because you’re selfish?”
He nods, not escaping your gaze. “To remind you of the last time we went. To show you that… I remember, I guess. And that I still care, just like the last time. If not more.”
“Mark, you can’t just say all of this and expect nothing out of me right now,” you mutter.
“Actually, I can. Because that’s what I’m doing. I’m just… laying it out in the open, and what you do with the information is completely, completely up to you,” he explains, and you find yourself chuckling at him, the atmosphere instantly lighter as you hear his voice in its usual casualness, talking to you as if he was just unpacking what went on in class today, and not the starting and the end of your one year relationship.
And he’s right. What you do with the information is completely up to you, and the next steps and the progress of your relationship with Mark Lee is also completely in your hands. You could turn away and never talk to him again, you could curse at him and tell him that it’s too late now and he missed his chance, but if that was the case, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. He wouldn’t be inviting you to this place, lying about his roommate canceling just to trick you into going, and you wouldn’t be blindly accepting the invitation, wanting to see where the afternoon brings you.
“So you still care about me?” you hum, looking at him from under your eyelashes, noticing his slouched-over pose as he looks back at you over his shoulder.
“Always have,” he admits, “never stopped. Despite not really… acting like it in the past few months.”
“Why’d you stop acting like it, then?” you ask.
A sigh escapes his lips, his head turning forward before he leans back and sits cross-legged on the ground, more comfortably now. Shrugging, he answers the question. “I guess I just got too caught up with different things. And don’t get me wrong, you were always my priority, always, but I was all over the place with everything and my mind just couldn’t… there were too many things to keep up with and I couldn’t stay up to date with everything,” he says, “and I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s an explanation, and it doesn’t make it better or undo the pain I’ve caused you, but it’s… at least you know it was never because I’d care about you any less.”
His eyes bear into yours with such honesty you think the weight of the world will crash on you any minute, and suddenly, the whole situation seems so much clearer.
And you wouldn’t take it back, you wouldn’t undo the breakup or do anything differently, because at the end of the day, you think it was needed. Perhaps the time apart was what he needed as a wake up call and what you needed to shield yourself from hurting more.
“Stop me from saying it if you… if you don’t want to hear it right now,” he hums, voice barely louder than a whisper. There seems to be a silent communication between the two of you, a connection of some sort that brings out the strange telepathy, but you just nod at him, a gentle smile playing with your lips as you understand exactly what he means, telling him that it’s okay and that you don’t mind– you welcome, you need to hear him say it again.
Licking his lips, he turns to you fully, facing you. There’s not a hint of nervousness in his body, having done this a lot of times before, and then it happens– the repeated confession, confirming what was there the whole time, never leaving even when the times were rough.
“I love you,” he says.
And isn’t that all that’s needed?
A year is a long time with someone. Somehow, you wouldn’t want the time to go to waste. At the end of the day, if love is still present, isn’t it worth trying? One more time?
“And you still don’t expect anything from me?” you ask, gazing at him softly. “You don’t expect me to say it back?”
“No,” he breathes out, shrugging. “I just needed to get it off my chest.”
“Because you’re selfish like that,” you nod, teasing him.
“Because I’m selfish like that,” he agrees, breaking out into a slight grin.
Looking at the sky, now completely dipped in dark purple, you sigh to yourself at the turmoil of the conversation. You don’t say it back– although you feel it, you know it’s in there, playing with your heartstrings and clenching the muscle in the palm of its hand– you know love is there, deep inside, for the man that’s currently staring at you as if you hung the very stars appearing on the sky there yourself, stolen them from your own eyes and gluing them there selflessly, for everyone to see. You don’t tell him you love him back, you don’t tell him you forgive him or accept his apology. You don’t worry about what tomorrow will bring you, what your brain is going to tell you when you come down from the hill and get home, lay in your bed and overthink. You let the worries escape you, letting fondness and calm envelope you in a tight hug instead.
“Okay,” you nod, watching the boy next to you look at you with curious eyes. You take his hand into yours and place it on your thigh, playing with his fingers for a heartbeat before you meet his eyes again and smile. “I won’t say it back, but for all it’s worth, Mark… I’m glad you remembered.”
And that’s all he needs– there is love, there is fondness, and there is the silent confirmation that all you need right now is just a bit more time.
Where do broken hearts go?
Somehow, you think they hold on to the place where it all started. Somehow, you think your heart never went anywhere– it stayed on this hill, waiting for you to pay it a visit and pick back up everything right from where you left it.
“It doesn’t seem like a good idea to go here today, Y/N,” Mark laughed behind you as he looked up to the sky, the dark clouds shielding the sun that had been previously shining down on your hiking figures, casting an orange glow on the strands of your hair.
“Well, there’s no turning back now,” you shrugged, turning to him and grinning as you tugged on his hand, grip strong as you dragged the boy up the trail, your sneakers fast against the dirty ground. “We have finals starting next week and it’s gonna be too cold to go after the exam season is over, so we gotta go now.”
“I kind of regret telling you that I’ve never been here before now,” Mark sighed, but followed you nonetheless, breathlessly following your excited stride. It was October, the leaves on the trees were welcoming the two of you in shining colors, and the wind kissing your skin turned a bit chilly in the evenings– courtesy of the warm hoodie Mark shyly lended you when you shivered for the first time, adoring the way you, his friend, looked in the light gray fabric. Something about you wearing his clothes made the boy a bit hopeless about the day. Maybe he’ll have enough courage to confess his feelings to you, he thought. Maybe, despite the first raindrops falling on the skin of his bare arms, this evening will have a happy ending for you and him.
“Oh, please,” you squinted at him, continuing to run up the hill– thank god it wasn’t that steep, serving both of you as the perfect hiking difficulty, “even if you wouldn’t have, I’d drag you here anyway. It’s like, my favorite place to go in Seoul, haven’t I told you before?”
You have, Mark thought. But he was okay with hearing it again.
You squealed when the raindrops got heavier and the rain started pouring faster on the two of you, and Mark found himself laughing at your running figure. He was right behind you, praying that you don’t slip on one of the rocks and break your leg on the hiking trail, but he encouraged you with sweet comments and a hand on the small of your back as he watched the tip of the hill appear right in front of his very eyes, your body coming to a satisfied halt when you reached your destination.
“Tada!” you grinned at him, twirling a little like a ballerina, showing him the place with outstretched arms. He tried hard to observe the place, but his eyes stayed glued to your excited figure, gaze bearing into yours as you looked at him, amidst a little flustered, with sparkly orbs and a bright smile on your face. Your hair was a mess, his gray hoodie enveloping your body was slowly growing darker in color from absorbing the rain, and your sneakers were getting a bit muddy from walking around the place. He wanted to remember this moment forever, he thought– this version of you, the smiley expression on your face, the carefree and excited nature of your step.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” you exclaimed, jumping around and nearing the boy, but as you went to take his hand to drag him around the top of the hill once more, your feet slipped and you fell forward, a surprised squeak battling its way out of your throat.
Your whole life flashed in front of your very eyes in that moment, embarrassment spreading down your neck at the fact that you were about to fall face first onto the ground in front of your crush of a few months, before your body collided with a soft, yet firm mass engulfing you closer. A pair of strong arms steadied you against his chest, and when you looked up at your friend, you swear all words were taken out of your dictionary, the sight leaving you speechless.
“It is,” he gaped, eyes bearing into yours. Mark was agreeing with you, but something in the back of your head was telling you that he didn’t really admire this place as much as you did– his curious gaze was always plastered somewhere completely else.
That place being your face, of course. And your eyes, your cheeks, the mess of your bangs, and occasionally– screw that, almost always– your lips. Much like in that moment, a few centimeters away from his face, so inviting he thought it would be a crime to contain the urge.
And so he didn’t– he didn’t control his feelings and the ever-so growing yearning for you, as he silently leaned towards your face and captured his lips with yours in a firm, yet short kiss.
He looked at you with a nervous tint behind his gaze when he leaned away, the sight of your wide eyes staring at him making a slight flush grow on his cheeks. You looked so beautiful in that moment– flustered, surprised, with messy hair and lips still apart– and he was relieved to not find a hint of a displeased emotion in your expression.
“Okay, so- well-” you stuttered, laughing to yourself, “this didn’t go as I planned, but I guess I’m happy as long as the final result is the same,” you hummed, standing on your tippy-toes and pressing your lips against him once more, this time letting yourself enjoy the moment fully, mouth moving against his in a careful, yet excited rhythm. He tasted like the strawberry candy you offered him on the bottom of the trail and smelled a bit like rain, the mixture always staying in the depths of your mind as his warmth enveloped you in comfort and a feeling of home.
“The final result being…?” he asked when you pulled apart once again, a dazed expression overtaking his sharp features.
“Us,” you shrugged, “like this,” you clarified.
Mark laughed at that, hugging you closer to his chest. You rested your head on his shoulder, listening to the sound of raindrops washing away the top layer of dirt off the rocks on the tip of the hill, hands sneaking around his waist and enjoying the way they wrapped around him so tightly and so comfortably. You in his hoodie, in your favorite place, standing in his arms. It was raining, but it didn’t matter.
“Mark?”
“Hm?”
“If we ever get lost, or something happens… bring me back here, okay?” you mumbled close to his ear, lips gently glazing the skin of his ear, making goosebumps appear all over your new lover. “I’m convinced that this place could fix everything.”
“Even us?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not allowed to ever leave me now, what would there be to fix between us?” you smacked his shoulder, snickering to yourself.
“You never know,” he laughed, “what if I accidentally mess up somewhere along the way?” he asked, threading his fingers through your hair, smoothing down the wet mess.
“Okay then,” you hummed, “even us.”
Staring into your eyes, letting the moment play out by itself, Mark swore he’s never felt more at peace. He wondered if it was the effect of the place, the rain, or just your sheer presence. “I’ll remember that,” he giggled before he let go of your body, petting your head as he took a hold of your hand, tugging you down from where you came from, “now let’s go home before we catch a cold.”
Nodding, following the man as you both carefully, yet fastly made it down the trail, you enjoyed the way his hand fit into yours and the way you knew that after this, you can’t ever come back to being friends with Mark Lee. He was all yours, completely, utterly yours, and you knew in the back of your head, that you were his– and nothing will ever change that.
You would always come back to the hill with him. It felt ridiculous to think about you two ever having to fix anything between the two of you back then, but even in that moment, you knew that for him, you’d keep trying. As long as he does– as long as he remembers.
Where do broken hearts go? You guess they always come right back to the place they come from– and they leave glued back together every single time.
You guess your heart never really left the hill.
#bjnet#nct#nct dream#nct 127#mark#mark lee#nct dream x reader#nct dream angst#nct dream fluff#mark lee x reader#mark lee angst#mark lee fluff#mark angst#mark fluff#nct 127 x reader#nct 127 angst#nct 127 fluff#mark lee oneshot#mark oneshot#nct oneshot#nct dream oneshot#nct 127 oneshot
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— SUMMER’S STELLAR GAZE
SUMMARY : part III of gimme half. on a mini-roadtrip to the bunker for something dean left behind, she decides to test dean’s word and his promises.
PAIRING : dean winchester x fem!reader
CHARACTERS : none
WARNINGS/TAGS : explicit (18+), fluff, Dean isn’t allergic to cats in this universe bc wtf, blowjob, hair pulling, dirty talk, road head, risky business
WORD COUNT : 2.2k
A/N : silverstein song title. so yeah, I love Dean forever and ever actually, just like I wrote in my diary when I was ten. Omniscient POV to reader’s POV like a good ol’ movie. Xxxxxx
Dean sort of wanted to impress her.
She was a hunter, like him, after all.
If he showed her the Bunker, he hoped she'd be impressed; by him, by it, he really hoped so. There was a lot about the Bunker that impressed him when he’d gotten there. The dungeon, the showers, the lore, the garage, the kitchen, everything. That was his first thought when Sam asked Dean for some boxes of the kitchen items he’d left behind since they couldn’t bring everything with them. Dean saw the opportunity to show off.
The past two weeks went by quickly. They were together now. Shared a New Years kiss at the behest of Eileen, Jack, and even tiny, baby Dean.
Sam and Eileen were like kids with Barbie and Ken dolls, thrilled to make their favourite couple kiss at last. Cas and Jack were stunned at the discovery that two of them hated each other at first, but they were happy to see that Dean was happy.
It all just came together, somehow, after falling apart so messily. Her and Dean. Their lives.
It was natural for her to be around all of them. Dean forgot that it was him she had a problem with at first. It made it easy for Dean and hard for him all at once. They knew her better than he did and she knew them well, too.
They began bonding over hunting stories when he told Sam, Eileen, Cas, and Jack that she was also a hunter; she'd ask Cas and Jack a dozen questions whenever she could after finding out they were angels—the other, a nephilim. Sometimes, he’d catch a glimpse at Cas’ phone notifications and see what she asks him with a smile on his face.
They’ve all been hanging out because of the holidays. She stayed with him during the weekends because he asked her to. He met her family, it was terrifying since they just started… dating… but her family was funny and kind to him. It eased his nerves, but they told him they’d heard of him from other hunters. He knew he was safe, hunters mostly liked him and his brother… except for the parts where they were at fault for all the bad stuff.
Miracle was happier than ever to have his friend back, her Cat, Bubbles. Dean had a feeling Sam and Jack would take Miracle over to her place or maybe Miracle and Bubbles truly still remembered each other.
Things are better, hotter now that they are together, more than when they were enemies. Dean was just beyond happy that he had her, that they talked about it… sort of.
“You listen to the same music as my big brother,” she chuckled from beside him, the box of cassette tapes resting on her lap as she riffled through them. Dean smiled, taking his eyes off the road to gaze at her momentarily.
“Yeah?” He asked, turning back to the road as they drove into the long, wintry, still-green forest that would lead them to the Bunker.
“Yeah, I grew up on all of this music. My dad even loves Led Zeppelin,” she told him distractedly, staring at the clear plastic box labelled as Led Zeppelin. She shrugged and inserted the cassette tape into the deck of the car, Bonzo’s Montreux playing softly.
“You get more and more awesome the more I get to know you,” he told her, biting his lip when he looked over at her. She pursed her lips as she smiled, entertained by his flirty, deep voice and his suggestive wink.
“Awesome?” She smirked, putting the box back into its place. He turned to look at her once more, but he couldn’t look away from the softness and mischief in her eyes the whole time.
“Perfect?” He offered, glancing away from her, taking in the big green trees he’s already familiar with. “Kissable? Hotter?” He suggested, smiling coquettishly. “Mmm, extra fuckable?” She looked at him through her lashes, her cheeks pink, and her breath unstable.
Dean shifted in his seat and sat up straight, looking away from her arousing fuck-me gaze with his fingers tightening around the black steering wheel of his heavy car. Heat flooded the area between her legs at his reaction. Her clit pulsed in pace with her heartbeat and she bit her lip. A million ideas streamed through her mind. A million ideas to relieve the need she had to be fucked by Dean once more.
The tension in the car was nearly as thick as the first night they had sex, it made her breathless, her heart pounded heavily with lust in her chest, and her pussy squeezed around nothing, instantly remembering the sex they had in his garage before they left.
She placed her hand on his thigh and he inhaled sharply, quickly turning to look at her with a deep blush on his face. Dean relaxed his grip on the steering wheel, and held it with only one hand, to put one of his hands over hers. She bit her lip and watched the side of his gorgeous face as he guided her hand higher.
She smiled brightly and lifted her hand beneath his to smack his hand away. He chuckled, taking a quick glance over at her playfulness.
“You said you’d fuck me anywhere, at any time,” she leaned over slightly, placing her arms on top of the seat, and resting her chin on her crossed arms. He glanced at her, exhaling shakily as she held his gaze through her lashes. “You promised me a lot of things, actually,” she moved her hand away, tracing his jaw with her fingers. His eyes fluttered shut. “Dean…” she murmured, moving her fingers up to his lips, and he opened his eyes before he could swerve too far from the road. “I recall a few things you seemed to really like.”
She leaned forward suddenly, licking his earlobe mischievously. Dean moaned softly, his eyelids heavy with lust, and his eyes clouded over with arousal.
“Like making me choke on your cock,” she whispered into his ear, dragging her lips down his neck. He groaned softly and shuddered, squirming as he attempted to focus on driving. “I want you in my mouth, Dean,” she purred, sliding her hand down his chest and stomach slowly, “right here, right now.”
“Fuck,” Dean moaned, lifting his hips up into her hand when she cupped his cock over his jeans. She sucked gently at his pulse, making the faded mark on his neck return. “Yes,” he whispered, biting his lip hard.
“I love when you get hard for me, baby,” she murmured, squeezing his cock.
“I need you,” he rasped, “I want to see your pretty mouth wrapped around me.” She laughed softly, unbuckling herself from the seat and then him. He chewed on his lip and focusing on driving as he got closer to the Bunker while she unbuckled his belt. He lifted his hips after she unzipped his jeans, allowing her to lower them slightly until his cock was free.
“You’re aware of how blessed you are, right?” She teased, biting her lip, sliding her fingers up his cock. Dean gasped and then he laughed breathlessly, his dick twitching at her delicate touch.
“I’m aware of how much you like my dick?” He smiled down at her shyly. She licked her lips, and rolled her eyes at his modesty. She kissed the tip, then gently placed her hand around the base to kiss her way down.
“Have you heard the sounds I make when you fuck me?” She whispered against the velvety skin of his cock. He grunted softly when she flattened her tongue and licked her way back up. “I don’t make those often, by the way,” she said casually, swirling her tongue around the tip.
“Here I thought you were a good girl,” he breathed out, lowering one hand into her hair, to try and push her down on his cock. She squeezed his cock, jerking her hand up and down quickly, then sucked on the tip hard, causing him to choke on a moan. She pulled away with a loud suckling sound that made him curse under his breath.
“I went over to your place without underwear, and then I asked you to talk dirty as I sucked your dick, and then I begged you to cum inside me. What part of all that made you think I was a good girl?” She lapped the precum that beaded from his tip, her mouth watering at the taste of him.
“The morning after,” he answered softly, his emerald eyes flickering to hers. She stopped licking his cock momentarily to consider his words, the tenderness in his voice causing her stomach to flutter. It was things like this, his words, his actions… things like that about Dean that aroused her even more.
She moaned appreciatively, lowering her mouth over his dick, then pulled up almost all the way off, repeating the motion, and then began sucking, and licking. He moaned her name softly, struggling to focus on driving such a heavy car, but she noticed the slower speed.
She took him deeper into her mouth, gagging slightly when he touched the back of her throat. Dean moaned out a curse, tightening his grip on her hair, pushing her up and down his cock faster. She moaned softly around him, letting him guide her as she sucked her way up his cock, her tongue moving along the underside of his length. Occasionally, her throat constricted around his length as she swallowed.
His hitched breath made her wetter, throaty groans, and desperate grunts made her clit pulse uncomfortably in her warm dress pants. She reached down to press her fingers against her clit and took him all the way down her throat. His hips bucked upwards and the leather around the wheel squeaked under his tight grip, but he never pulled too roughly on her hair.
“Holy fuck,” Dean grunted as she wrapped her hand around the base of his cock when she got to the leaking tip and sucked the taste of his precum. Then, she began to twist her hand around him, following the path of her mouth up and down, until she heard rocks and dirt crunching beneath the wheels of the car, and the Impala coming to a complete stop.
Dean relaxed completely as he set the car in park, leaning his head backwards. The sounds of his pleasure and the wet sound of her mouth and throat getting fucked competed for volume. Dean lifted his shirt and gazed down at her, thrusting his hips up faster into her mouth.
She blinked away tears to stare into his eyes, her cheeks and ears burning hot, her jaw and lips sore from taking him. She moaned softly again, letting him push his cock up into her throat, catching the blurred ecstasy on his face. His red lips trapped between white teeth, his freckled cheeks rosy, and his brows furrowed.
“I’m gonna cum, baby,” he panted, lovingly moving her hair from her pink and wet face. She hummed around him in approval and closed her eyes, focusing on bringing him closer to his climax. Dean’s thrusts began to stutter and he started to get more vocal, arousing her further. “God, I love your mouth,” he whispered, thrusting upwards hard as he came in thick, hot spurts down her throat. “Fuck, yeah,” he moaned, shuddering at the feeling of her swallowing around him.
Dean pulled her off him despite not finishing, his cum dripping down his cock despite her best efforts to collect everything. That seemed to be the purpose. When she opened her eyes, he was watching her with his tongue poking between his teeth, looking both cute and sexy.
“What?” She asked, and kept tugging at his cock as his cum dribbled down from the slit, and over her hand. She tightened her hold around the heat of him in her wet hand. She bit her wet, swollen lip, and sat up, slowly stopping the strokes of her hand to watch him.
Dean leaned forward to kiss her all of the sudden, her heart lurching in her chest, the way it always did when he kissed her. He held her jaw, licking her spit and his cum from her lip. He moaned into her mouth, pulling her face closer, meeting her warm tongue with his. She let go of his dick, and smiled against his mouth, before pulling away.
Dean chased her lips, but she pushed his chest roughly so he stayed pressed against the seat, laughing quietly. He smiled leaning forward anyway, his nose brushing against hers, lips agonisingly remaining a few millimetres away from hers.
“Can we have sex in your old bed?” She whispered, tugging gently at his jacket, her lips brushing against his. He panted against her mouth, whining softly in attempts to make her kiss him.
“Yes, whatever you want,” he responded quietly.
She hummed when she kissed Dean once more; a passionate, long, and deep kiss with tongue and teeth that made her needier. She helped readjust him as they made out, a hot and breathy exchange before heading back on the road to the Bunker.
➥ closer than this
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#dean’s 45th birthday celebration#dean winchester x reader#dean x reader#dean x female!reader#dean x y/n#dean x you#dean winchester x you#dean winchester smut#dean winchester fanfiction#dean win
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⏤͟͟͞͞☆Dating Kyle HCs || Kyle Broflovski x Reader
✰ - SFW & NSFW - ✰
Summary: Kyle Bf HCs!
Note: I'm so in love with Kyle it's unreal, he's so pookie, college kiddos :)) also sorry for being SO slow with reqs :(( I unfortunately lose motivation very quickly, so by the time I start it by then end I'm just.,. Trudging thru 😔 I HAVE SOME KENJORINE I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET OUT! BUT ARGHHHH, also some Stan bf headcanons
TW: Smut at the end
Gender: AFAB Gen!Neutral
✰ - SFW - ✰
I feel like sumtimes he'd be unintentionally possessive of you 😔
He can't help it, he feels like you're too perfect for him so he tries to keep you to himself
If you ever bring it up to him he'd feel rlly bad about it, and then tell you that
He's insecure, hold him :((
And when you do, tell him how pretty he is bcs
OMG HE'S SO PRETTY
He's literally the prettiest boy ever I'm gonna fucking sob
His curls are so vibrant, and coily and long, I could get lost playing in his hair forever
We already know he hid it before
But you were talking to your friends and he was somewhere in the vicinity and you were just like,
"HIS HAIR IS SO PRETTY I COULD CRY, AND HE HIDES IT :,(( I just wanna play with it all the time but I don't wanna like... Accidentally make him self-conscious or something :((("
He stopped wearing his hat as much after that.
You noticed it too and you weren't sure if he heard you but you were happy his hair was free
Also his eyes are so pretty
He could be so pissed and ranting and u could just be. Staring into his eyes and he'd be like,
"What are you looking at. "
"Your eyes are so pretty, Ky :)) "
He calmed down pretty quickly after that.
ALSO NICKNAMES.
The first time you used that nickname on him he. He melted. He turned so red like,
"W-what did you just call me"
He looked cute as hell tho :3
You started easing him into the nicknames and he got used to it, he even started using some nicknames for you too!!
He's so cute when he does to, because you can tell he's trying!
Sometimes when his temper gets really bad you just hold him to your chest and lay down and play with his hair, he calls down pretty quickly
And if you're in public you just bring him somewhere private and just hug him, and then you guys can walk around while you hold hands
He's not the biggest fan of PDA but likes holding your hand :))
But when he's in private he's all over you, just hugging and kissing you
He's not the best with words, at least words he says out loud bcs
He does poetry! Actual good poetry!
But he loves just hugging you, he likes you on top of him because the pressure feels nice
He's got autism! And he's got that unintentional autistic rizz, if yknow what I mean
Sometimes he'll just say something, you'll just stare at him and blush like crazy and he's just like,
"What'd I say"
You just stare bcs theres no words left...
Very unintentionally blunt as well
You two enjoy silent company a lot! esp Kyle
Sometimes his friends and family and school just get too overwhelming, so he'll just ask you to come over while he does his homework and sometimes you'll do yours and you guys just get to be close 🥰
There's been some times when... Yknow what I'll save it for the NSFW part :3
He's definitely a cat person and you guys would look forward to getting a cat together! Maybe 2 :)))
He really is a well intentioned person, he's just so sweet :((
I feel like this poor boy got SO nervous to meet your parents
Like, y'all went to a restaurant together and he dressed all fancy and was just. So awkward
He worries so much about what to say that he ends up speaking like a robot, and then would randomly follow it with awkward laughter 💀
He was so embarrassed 😭 but you cuddled him and told him it was fine
And you later got a text from your parents saying he was a good guy! Bcs he is!
He's so cat boy too like... When he just needs to recharge he just hobbles over to you and just. Flops.
Doesnt matter what you're doing, because now you're cuddling Kyle.
It's cute tho, because he's definitely learned how to recognize when he needs a break from college work
Bonus points if you play with his hair and kiss him all over 🥰
You guys used to, keyword, used to. Play games together, he would try so hard not to get competitive about it ,but let's just say you both said some things about each other's mothers, and it's just been awhile since you've played.
He likes sharing his music with you! And let's just say you were surprised to find out he was a The Cure fan, you just wouldn't expect it from his dorky self!
But they're one of the few artists he can freely stim to
You guys will listen to loud music together just to scream the lyrics bcs, MAN sometimes u just wanna scream, yknow?
He only likes to sing stuff he can scream, if it's something that requires vocal control he's outta there
But you heard him sing normally one time and he was so cute ☹️❤❤ he was cleaning around his dorm and had his headphones on and you arrive without him noticing and you just heard him singing his lil tune in his soft voice... Dead on the spot, there were no survivors.
Eventually learns that when partners complain about things he just has to listen, he's too logical and learnt the hard way that you just want to vent rather than actually solve the problem
✰ - NSFW - ✰
So, "studying"?
The "both" of you were focusing on homework, just Kyle really. He was at his desk and he seemed to be focusing, he looked so intense. You found yourself staring at him for awhile, you just couldn't help it. You check the time on your phone.
"He has time." , you thought to yourself.
You closed the book you had stopped paying attention to 20 minutes ago and faced his turned back. You carefully tiptoed over and gave his back a tap, he turned around, still looking at his book and papers.
"Yeah, what's up? ", he said, not really paying attention.
You carefully grabbed his chin and turned his face toward you, giving him a soft kiss on the lips.
"Kyleeee, I'm bored, can't we do something else? " you whined.
"I'm sorry, y/n but I really have to finish these assignments..."
You pulled out your phone and showed him the time and date.
"But Kyleee, you still have a few days before you need to finish them, I know you like to finish them before they're due but can't you take a little break? For some fun at least? ", you speaking the last words in a suggestive tone made him turn red, he seemed to be contemplating it but he had already made up his mind.
"Alright then, come here, " he sat you down on his lap and began kissing you. The both of your lips meshing together, slowly becoming more filled with passion.
"Do you wanna stay here or move to your bed? "
"Anything beats sitting in this chair... ", he picked you up and set you on the bed, not before stretching his back and cracking it, " that felt so good... I hate that fucking chair, man, "
He laid back down on the bed and continued kissing you, you slowly positioned yourself on top of him. He was so distracted, he didn't even notice.
You were about to take off your shirt, but we're stopped.
"What's wrong, Ky? "
"C-Can you keep the shirt on? I like seeing you in my clothes... "
The shirt in question was an oversized shirt he let you borrow after sleeping over the night prior.
You kissed him and smiled softly, "Okay, Kyle... I'll keep it on, but if I can't take off anything else I'll go crazy... " you laughed a bit and he laughed with you.
"Don't worry, I won't stop you anymore... "
"Good, " even before you finished speaking you shifted both of your legs to the side of him to easily take off the boxers he'd also lent you. You moved back and began kissing him again, this time with more heat than before.
As the two of your lips clashed together you began to gently palm at his hardening member, and as you did he let out a shakey breath.
You positioned yourself right above and began grinding into him, the two of you softly moaning into each other's kisses. He slowly traced his hand over your thigh and gave it a squeeze, a squeeze that would get increasingly tighter the more you played with him.
You could tell he was getting antsy with the way he squeezed your thigh so you figured it was finally time to set him free. You moved you hand to the waistband of his sweats and pulled them down, his hard cock springing free. The cold air down there made him grimace, but was soon changed as you slowly parted yourself on it.
You both fell out of the kiss as you two moaned as you slid down, your already dripping pussy making it easy to. It took a few moments until you were down at his base; his size was always something you had to adjust to.
Just as you were about to start moving his eagerness got the better of him and grabbed now the both of your thighs and moved you up and down. You moaned loudly at the sudden friction and bounced along with his help.
The two of you were moaning messes, which only increased the faster you moved. You once again found his lips in a hungry kiss, the room becoming much quieter when you did as you muffled each other's moans.
"Y-Y/N, I'm.. Ngh... Close, " he moaned out, you were barely able to form words and just breathlessly told him you were too.
The speed increased and you were seeing stars, which you saw more of as he placed his thumb on your clit and started to rub it.
The two of you quickly finished after that.
Kyle's confidence during sex has improved MASSIVELY
The first time y'all did it, he had NO clue what to do
He was so scared about where to put his hands, or if he grabbed you in the wrong place, especially if he grabbed too tightly
It also took you guys awhile to eventually lead up to it, the second Kyle felt it getting too heated he'd gently pull you off
You actually started to worry that he didn't like you anymore the more he did it
You asked him why he always did it and he, as red as his hair, told you he was a virgin and was too scared, and that he wouldn't know what to do
You softened on him and told him that you didn't care he was a virgin and that you would lead him the whole way
You two did it soon after. :p
Once he eventually gets the hang of everything he's good. So fucking good.
Definitely a switch but leans more towards sub
You find his hands so fucking attractive because they're so perfect,,, and pale,, and long
You love him fingering you because he reaches SO far and you're just on the highway to heaven 😍
Also as shown before, he's VERY vocal and he's so cute when he moans and whimpers...
It's something he DEF tried to hide but you were not letting him get away with it
Has a bit of a mommy kink tbh
Sometime dabbles into a bit of a breeding kink... 😗
Kyle 🤝 Kenny
Having beautiful, milky thighs
The first time you sucked him off you were just mesmerized with his thighs... Can u tell I like men's thighs 😔
Pull his hair please!
You've probably pegged him once or twice ngl... :3
#kyle broflovski x reader#kyle x reader#kyle broflovski x reader smut#kyle x reader smut#south park fanfiction#sp kyle#south park hcs#south park smut#south park#✰Star's headcanons
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₊˚⊹˚ 𐙚 I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
pairing: sirius black x reader
warnings: angst idk, reader is ravenclaw but it’s only mentioned once so it doesn’t matter lmao. also white horse lyrics as the title🗣️🔥
a/n: take this bc i’m writing a long fic rn so this is bad😭🙏
1.6k words ^_^
“Good afternoon, Sirius!” you cheerfully greeted as he and the rest of the Marauders walked by you. He gave you a side glance before facing forward and walking away, not saying anything.
The cheerful smile on your face soon faded. Two months of trying (and failing) to get Sirius to talk to you, let alone agree to go out with you, was starting to get to you.
“What do you want?” Sirius said, not sparing a glance at you.
“Do you maybe want to go to Hogsmeade with me? This weekend is a Hogsmeade weekend, so I thought that you and I could–”
“No.” With that, you quickly shut down, the little confidence you had now gone, your lips turning into a line.
“Alright, well, I’ll be off now. Bye,” you said, trying not to show how embarrassed you were.
Come to think of it, you had done everything you could think of for Sirius to like you back or at least go on one date with you.
“Are you okay, Y/N?” your friend Anne asked, patting your back. She had been there for you since your very first day at Hogwarts. You honestly think you would’ve gone insane without her there with you.
“I’m alright, Anne. I just don’t understand why he won’t even glance at me! I’m not that bad looking, right?”
“Of course not, Y/N! I think it’s about time you get over him! I mean, you said it yourself, he never even glances at you!”
You had thought maybe it was time to get over Sirius. “You’re right! From now onwards, I will get over him.”
“Let’s see how long that lasts,” Anne said, a soft smile appearing on her lips.
ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ
It was safe to say that it lasted pretty long. Alright, it had only been a few hours, but still! It was around dinner time, and you had stayed a little longer after class putting away equipment and talking to the professor about the assignment.
Sirius couldn’t help but feel like something was missing. He had done half the homework as he felt too lazy to do the rest. All the pranks were finalized and ready to go, so why he felt like something was missing was confusing him.
ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ
It was now morning, and you had woken up feeling better than ever. Not having someone ruin the little confidence you had the night before really does change a person, huh?
Before you realized it, it was already time for breakfast.
That’s when your eyes caught wind of Sirius Black, laughing with his friends. Oh, his smile was always so beautiful to you.
“Y/N, no, you will not go up to him. Remember what you agreed on yesterday?” Anne said, tired of seeing you all sappy over a boy, especially one like Sirius.
“I know, I know, but come on, you can’t blame me! He’s just so… ughh!”
Anne sighed, slapping your arm. “Okay, but we have to walk past them to enter the Great Hall. Don’t spare a glance at him, and don’t even speak to him!”
And you did just that. You honestly thought he wouldn’t notice. How wrong you were. He had noticed; he thought that you were too tired to go up to him last evening, so you’d probably one-up yourself this morning for missing last night.
But how wrong he was. You didn’t even glance at him! He was shocked, to say the least. “Woah, she didn’t speak to you or even look at you! Hey, all that rejecting really worked, good for you,” said James.
Sirius forced a laugh. “Yeah, about time. She was getting annoying.” How he wishes he could take those words back. He knew you heard them but wished you never did.
You frowned. Did he really not like you that much?! Wow. You guess it was a good thing to stop trying to get his attention.
Anne gave you a side hug, hearing what he said himself. “He’s not worth it. Ignore what he said. If I was him, I’d be glad a very beautiful, smart, kind girl was giving me all her attention!” You smiled at that.
“Thanks, Anne, but I can’t believe he thinks that way of me. But I should’ve guessed.”
ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ
It had now been a week. A week of Sirius yearning for your attention. A week since you made an effort of talking to him.
Despite the passing week, Sirius found himself unable to shake off the feeling of regret. He realized how much he had taken your presence for granted and how foolish he had been to dismiss your efforts. The more he thought about it, the more he missed your cheerful greetings and your attempts to engage him in conversation.
What really pushed him over the edge was the new guy you were now so close to. He was completely different from him—more quiet, with light hair, smarter, and, more importantly, actually talked to you and seemed to enjoy your presence.
How could you move on in just a week? Move on with a guy completely different from him?
He saw the way the guy looked at you, how your friends would always ship you two together. It was infuriating to him.
What really set him off was when he saw the soft pink hue on your cheeks. That could’ve been you two if he hadn’t been so stupid! Did he really think you would be like James, who has been chasing the same girl forever? Yes, he did think that.
Turns out you were not like James. You had given up in just two months!
"You’re staring," Remus' voice snapped Sirius out of his trance.
"Huh?" Sirius played dumb, not wanting Remus to know who or what he was staring at.
"You know, you could’ve just said yes the times she actually asked you out. I don’t know why you just rejected her. Didn’t you have a crush on her at one point?" Remus questioned.
"I just... I really don’t know why I never said yes. I thought she’d continue to ask me out at least until the end of this year. It isn’t even the holidays yet!" Sirius replied, feeling agitated.
Remus sighed, his gaze shifting from Sirius to you, who was now engrossed in conversation with the new guy. “Well, mate, sometimes we realize things a little too late. Maybe you should talk to her, explain how you feel.”
Sirius ran a hand through his hair, a mixture of frustration and longing evident in his eyes. “Do you think it’s too late, Moony? I mean, she seems happy now, and I don’t want to disrupt that.”
“It’s never too late if you genuinely care about someone,” Remus said gently. “But you have to be prepared for any outcome. She might not feel the same way anymore, or she might give you another chance. The important thing is that you’re honest with her and yourself.”
Sirius nodded, his mind racing with thoughts of what could have been and what could still be. “You’re right. I’ll talk to her, no more running away from my feelings.”
ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ
Remus’s words echoed in Sirius’s mind as he watched you and the new guy sharing a laugh. He took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts before approaching you.
After a while, when you were alone, Sirius walked over, trying to appear casual despite the nervousness bubbling inside him. “Hey, Y/N,” he greeted, offering a small smile.
You looked up, surprised to see Sirius approaching you. “Hey, Sirius. What’s up?” you replied, returning the smile, though there was a hint of wariness in your eyes.
Sirius hesitated for a moment, his heart pounding in his chest. “I wanted to talk to you about something… important,” he started, his voice tinged with uncertainty.
Your smile faltered slightly, sensing the gravity of the conversation. “Sure, go ahead,” you said, trying to maintain a neutral tone.
Taking a deep breath, Sirius continued, “I know I haven’t been the best lately, and I want to apologize for that. I’ve been thinking a lot about everything, and I realize now that I made a mistake by not appreciating you and your efforts.”
You listened quietly, a mixture of emotions swirling inside you. “It’s okay, Sirius. We all have our moments,” you replied, trying to keep your composure.
Sirius shook his head, a flicker of pain crossing his features. “No, it’s not okay. I should have realized sooner how much you mean to me. Seeing you happy with someone else made me realize how much I regret not being there for you when I had the chance.”
Your heart clenched at his words, memories of the morning after flooding back. “Did you really mean what you said that morning, Sirius?” you asked, unable to keep the bitterness out of your voice.
Sirius’s expression faltered, guilt evident in his eyes. “I… I was being stupid, Y/N. I didn’t know how to handle my feelings, and I said things I regret. Please, let me make it right.”
You took a moment to collect your thoughts, feeling a surge of frustration and hurt. “It’s not that easy, Sirius. You can’t just take back everything you said and expect things to go back to how they were.”
Sirius swallowed hard, realizing the depth of his mistake. “I know I messed up, and I don’t expect forgiveness right away. I just needed you to know how I feel.”
The tension between you was palpable as you both grappled with your emotions. “I need time, Sirius,” you finally said, your voice wavering slightly.
Sirius nodded, a pang of regret piercing his heart. “I understand. I’ll give you the time you need, but please know that I’m sincere about wanting to make amends.”
#sirius black fluff#sirius black x reader#sirius black#sirius black x you#sirius black x y/n#sirius black x female reader#harry potter x you#harry potter#harry potter oneshots#harry potter x reader#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter x y/n#marauders x reader#marauders
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BSD character’s reactions to screwing up they’re first date with you ( T_T)＼(^-^ )
Includes (most) the ada and port mafia <3
they’ll be pretty short since it’s a lot of characters :P (these exclude kyoka, Q and lemon thing aka kajii)
ADA
Fukuzawa 🗡
he’s probably slightly embarrassed but knowing him I’m sure it wasn’t too bad of a screw up
in fact it was probably a minor embarrassing moment that happened
it was silence for a split second before you two changed subjects from what happened
the date went pretty smoothly after that
the typa detail that gets left out when you talk about how the date went
Ranpo 👓
he’ll probably realize what’s gonna happen to ruin the date before it does, and either act to make sure it doesn’t
or smoothly addresses it and moves on
just cuz he’s like that 😎🤷♀️ (LOL)
but if something he doesn’t predict happens that crashes your date he’ll be pretty butt hurt
like? How come the worlds greatest detective didn’t see through this??
🙄
you likely end up assuring him it’s fine and continue the date
he sulks and eats snacks when he gets home
your probability of still going on the next date anyway is 89% but he’s still mad that happened
Yosano🥼
she will be pretty bummed out and will starting drinking wine mid date
she may ask if you want some
she’s not sulking or anything but if like where y’all was gonna go is booked/closed you end up just going to some open public area and talking
about how this sucks, what you’ll do next date, if you can do something last minute, that you both doubt you’ll try and go there for a date again and eventually to lighter topics like your hobbies n such
but yeah the date decently recovers
kunikida🤓
YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS MAN IS UTTERLY ENRAGED
in all seriousness he’s s t r e s s i n g
he kinda panics because he planned this out so perfectly and now it’s ruined??
over course he has a back up plan down to z but it’s was supposed to go PERFECT.
(if dazai ruined it for you two he’s gonna choke him out as soon as he sees him)
eventually he stops mumbling and pacing and just takes you to plan b
which actually goes really well!
thankfully it ended in his favor but he’s still gonna spend everyday of his like repenting his first date
because you were his first date with anyone ever
and it was….spoiled. 😀
Dazai💀
you already know mr. slick bounced back immediately
like he went “oh well” and took you to do something else without batting an eye
made it just as fun as the original activity was gonna be
you’d think he had a plan b in mind but he indeed did not
he just had the money to make it look like it 😉
smooth operator 🤪😚
Tanizaki😅
apologizes like a million times
he didn’t mean to ruin it!!
especially if this is your first date too
cuz this is definitely his seeing as though Naomi won’t let him date nobody else 😃😅
(you only got away with him bc Naomi likes you /j)
you guys probably end up walking around and get some ice cream
sitting on a bench and talking
a cat came up to you two and you pet them
All in all it ended peacefully !! <3
(he sulked to Naomi but was grateful things still went alright)
naomi💗
she went “awwww” 🙁
you all likely end up in a arcade and eat some snacks too
You guys use the money you were gonna spend at the original place
it still ends up being pretty fun but you can tell she’s bummed out
you give her a kiss on the cheek at the end of the date to make her feel better 💖
(she immediately perks up)
Kenji🐄
he was kinda like “that stinks” but didn’t even seem sad about it
you two rerouted but couldn’t find anything to do
so you pretty much ended up wandering
not either of you mind, passerby we’re really kind to you and gave you free stuff
At least you didn’t leave empty handed 🤷♀️😋
atsushi🐯
your his first ever date- canon.
so when he realizes he (wasn’t his fault but he feels like it anyway) blew it, he’s utterly disappointed
he explains this is his first date and he wanted it to be special, even more so since it was with someone so cool like you
you hear him out, patting his back and giving him head pats to make him feel better
he even went out of his way to buy some new clothes 😞
you tell him it’s okay but he doesn’t feel that way
he asks if there’s anyway he can make it up to you and insists to buy you something before you go
he gets you something you picked out from a shop
although he’s practically hyperventilating over whether you’ll ghost him or not since he screwed it up
PM
Mori💉
another smooth one
i doubt whatever store/place you were trying to go to was closed because he could just pay to open it back up
so it’s likely something embarrassing/awkward happened instead
HE PROBABLY TOOK ELISE AND SHE SAID SMTH 😂😂😂😂
anyway
if so he immediately corrects her then deactivates his ability……
he wanted her to come on the date so he could take her in the future and have you be used to it
clearly that talk he had about not saying private stuff went in one ear and out the other
he apologizes for whatever inconvenience happened and does what every rich man does :)
throws money at the problem :)
no fr y’all went to every shop and he bought you what you wanted from it
(Hey just the for the record I don’t condone mori’s behavior and i genuinely don’t know why the creator did that—they coulda just left that out he coulda been so much better🧍♀️)
Hirotsu👔
he doesn’t let little things bother him, but a date with someone that’s important to him?
and it gets ruined??
now that’s kinda disappointing
he formally apologizes and asks if there’s anything you have in mind or like to do for compensation
or maybe if it’s not that drastic he’ll just apologize and try to direct the conversation else where
he isn’t sweating it or anything but the blunder was a pain for a hot second
either way he gets through it without letting it stop the entire date as a whole
Koyo👘
is really embarrassed for 3 hot secs before she collects herself, sighing
Is blushing a bit when she asks if your upset and apologizes
she likely planned this date and told you not to worry about it because things like this wasn’t so supposed to happen
luckily for her she switched from her original idea to something else, so now that that hasn’t worked out she can go back
from there the date returns to smooth sailing
she spoils you and tries to get you forget as much as possible
she especially doesn’t want that getting on her reputation if you work at the PM as well
Chuuya🥂
really irritated and swears under his breath while facing away from you
tries to make it look like he has it under control but he’s kinda freaking out
he liked you so much he really wanted this to go well :/
In the end he can’t think of anything and ends up muttering an apologizing before suggesting to go get some wine together
gets even more embarrassed if your not a drinker
he’s mentally slapping himself at this point
you probably end up pitching in and throwing an idea out there yourself, to which your idea works and the rest of the night is really fun! ;3
he keeps mentioning how good your idea was because it totally saved him
He’s happy when he walks through the door of his place, but when he remembers he blew it he gets upset again
spends the rest of the night drinking and thinking about it hoping you still wanna date him
Higuchi🔫
she is a lover who wants to do everything for the one she loves
so finally landing a date with you and blowing it is like her whole world exploding 💥
she becomes frantic in apologizing asking how to make it up to you
even if it was just a minor thing
if she can turn things around she still feels successful but makes precautions not to let that happen again
if not she’s totally bawling her eyes out to gin about it
she does her best to get on your good side before asking for another date
Tachihara⚔️
gets a bit flustered and sheepishly looks at you to see if it bothered you
his reaction depends on yours
if you start complaining about how much of a bummer it is he’ll start to feel bad
he tries to cheer you up and suggests to move to something else
but if your calm n cool about it so is he
he kinda shrugs one shoulder and says “so what now/wanna do somethin’ else instead?”
Akutagawa🧥
*coughs*
”err..guess the place is closed. I checked yesterday and they were open so this must be a fluke..”
he probably awkwardly stands there from there
if your response is too negative he’ll apologize for wasting your time and offer to drive you home
he will likely hesitate before asking you on a date again and makes sure everything is perfect this time
”curse the weretiger” (you hear him mumble this like it’s a swear word before you close the door to your house)
If you don’t mind as much you two will probably just end up chatting somewhere
it ends with him apologizing anyway
(say you enjoyed talking with him and you might be met with wide eyes and a little blush on his face <3)
Gin☺️
blushes, stammers and apologizes like crazy
she feels really ashamed since this is your first date and something went wrong
she covers her mouth with her hand to sort of “hide” out of embarrassment
she even took off her mask and dressed up all cute for you!! :(
luckily! She brought you a gift !
you ended up really liking it and you hugged her for it, which made her feel a bit better
you ask to return the favor by buying her something too
she insists you don’t have to but you end up doing it anyway
you wrap your arm around each other’s waist while you walk which was pretty romantic :)
you kiss her atop her forehead before separating to head home
(if your not in the PM or can’t physically hand yourself—she probably follows you home from a distance, BUT NOT IN A CREEPY WAY. In a ‘she wants to know your home safe’ loving way)
she squeals when she gets home and tells ryuunosuke about the highs and lows of your date 💗
yes as I said pretty short but these were mostly a trial run for fun :)
again this is just me branching out and expirmenting ;P hopes to you enjoyed!!
#anime#anime and manga#luffyvace#anime headcanons#fluff headcanons#fluff#ranpo bsd#atsushi bsd#bsd chuuya#bsd headcanons#bsd#bsd x reader#bsd hcs#bungo stray dogs#bsd dazai#bsd atsushi#bsd fukuzawa#bsd tanizaki#bsd kenji miyazawa#bsd naomi#bsd kunikida#bsd yosano#bsd gin#bsd higuchi#bsd akutagawa#bsd mori#bsd ada#bsd tachihara#bsd koyo#bsd hirotsu
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Astro Notes - 08
✨️ General Edition ✨️
I hope this makes sense but having venus overlays in the houses related to your venus sign is one of the best placements to have in a romantic relationship, even if is not a house known for being romantic. For ex: there's a boy I'm getting to know who's a gemini venus, and i am an aquarius venus, his venus falls in my 11th house and my venus falls in his 3rd. These 2 houses are known for friendships but in this case they work differently and we have a lot of chemistry and lovey feelings for each other, far from being a friendly connection!
In my experiences, having moon conjunct moon is a total hell to me. There's just a lot of "emotional" tension who gets unbearable most of the times and you can be so similar that you don't understand each other and may hate each other. I think this placement at its worst is a war of egos 24/7. Also being deeply hurt by anything the other do, you may feel much more emotional than the usual. But idk bc every placement works differently for everyone. And this can be similar to moon opposite moon, even though I still prefer moon opp moon over moon conjunct moon.
HOWEVER, having moon in the same sign but not in a conjunction is such a paradise to me, it's truly a blessing to have in any type of relationship because u understand each other in a very nurturing way, so sweet, you feel at ease with this person.
And talking about moon, the sweetest thing to have, even if cliche, is definitely moon trine moon or moon in the 4th house overlay, it's way better than conjunctions or oppositons, because these two are very intense and may never end well, even if you felt like you've found a soulmate at first, it's truly karmic, but with the moon trine moon/moon 4H overlay is so good, specially if they are in the same synastry >>>
Moon 7H overlay it's a weird feeling for me as the moon because i feel so appreciated by the house person. The house person usually sees the moon person like an inspiration, and they find the moon so but SO perfect at everything, you have no idea, sometimes i even get shy. If you're looking for someone who worships you or just really compliments you naturally then find someone who has their 7th house in your moon sign (thank me later). Also i feel like the 7th house person do not see any imperfection in the moon person and can help them to overcome their insecurities. When I'm the house person, I even get jealous at the moon person because they're treated literally like royalty. Just remembering that this also depends on other aspects and the whole synastry guys bc the 7th house can be a tricky one, so don't come at me later, but for now I'm loving it
Something interesting is that i keep attracting guys with cancer/pisces venus or mars and i literally have pisces venus and cancer mars in my mars persona chart 🤯 pls leave me alone i don't want uuuuuuu,,, jk but i think this is cause I need to deal better with this energy internally so they're necessary for my jouney 🔪🔪
Now talking about the apocaliptic 8H and 12H synastry. There was a guy I've had something with, I'm gonna call him T, so T has his venus/asc/SATURN!!!! in my 12th house and mars/uranus in my 8th house, and i have my moon/mc/juno in his 12th house and venus/chiron/neptune in his 8th house, and let me tell you this was one of the most painful things i've went through, this person left unhealable scars in me, and the worst is that it seemed like a fairytale to me most of the times. So, summing it, this synastry is hella karmic and can be dangerous to your mental health if you're not careful, but everyone needs to go through it to learn something in this life so we have to move on. But i'm not saying it is terrible all the time because it depends on both people's maturity, I just had the bad luck of sharing it with a heartless person, and I was the one hurt in the end 🖤 but anyways life goes on i still cry to this date thinking about T
Talking about karmic relationships, i believe South Node in 4H in synastry is a huge indicator of past life conections, or just a comfortable feeling generally if not this kind of connection, so that can explain why you can attract certain ascendants more than others. For ex: I always attract cancer ascendants and my south node falls in their 4th house
Another ascendant I attract a lot is sagittarius but this ain't good always because they can be so stressful when underveloped. And this can be to the fact that my sun/mercury falls in their 1st house and my moon falls in their 7th house so they feel pulled to me in a sense? But as you all must know these overlays can be super superficial at times and I don't enjoy it always as the planet person... But overall I still love my sagittarius risings most of the time <3
There's something so sweet about Taurus Mercuries when they're talking that i find it underrated, yes everyone talks about how they have sensual voices but sometimes they're just cute. There's an undeniable charm in the way they talk like i just want to hear them talk all the time (this applies to both vedic and western)
Now to be honest one of the best placements for physical enchantment in synastry is ASC in the 5H overlay, as the asc person i just feel so much attracted to the asc's appearance and aura it's crazy, but i wanna experience it as the asc person too (hey aries risings how u doin)
This one's also a cliche but all of the twins i know have at least one placement of their big 6 in gemini! also as a gemini moon i've always attracted a lot of twins in my life and i've always wanted to have twins, still a dream though. But it runs in my mom's genetics since in her family there are thousands of twins so i still have chances guys!!
Not to brag or anything because i say it basing on other sag mercuries I know *yes we apparently attract each other like moths to flames lol*, but sagittarius mercuries are so fun to talk to when they want to, and specially online, they text like the most excited person ever with a lot of emojis and all of that, also their laugh are always gonna be loud or straight funny, be it personally or virtually. But i realize we only do that to who we really like and obviously the house placements also matters!! But yes independtly of anything ALL (I really mean all of them) sagittarius mercuries always want to be right and have the last word even if they know they're obviously wrong
Aries venus in the composite chart is so hot. Like i know it's in detriment but is just really fun and fiery to experience, specially if the house is favourable. Also, a lot of sparks coming out from each other when they're together and a palpable chemistry, everyone ships you two so get together already damn
Aquarius mercuries and their diction that makes them look like they're talking a language from another planet sometimes. Also, they seem like they're always talking weird things all the time, in a good way of course, I love them my babies! Also, they always seem to know random facts about literally everything and they have such a diverse taste for music, movies, ANYTHING. But they can be very misunderstanded sometimes because they're not gonna say what people expect them to say. But anyways aquariuses and sagittariuses always seem to get each other because they have similar tastes.
7H placements are people pleasers to the point where is destructive to themselves, but they can't help it, it's in their nature to do this. They all need a hug right now I love you, please take care of youself more and learn how to impose your boundaries, it's for your own health (a self-criticism)
stay with this dancing lady right here guys bye (me in the next party)
#astrology#astro notes#astro observations#astro community#aesthetic#astrology notes#astrology observations#astrology aesthetic#astro memes
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𖤐˖˚⊹IN THREE YEARS FROM NOW ♡
☆ PILE ONE 🍒
You seem to have went through a period of stagnation, where you had to sit back and re evaluate some situations in your life , realising that there’s some things that you need to cut off in order for you to heal and finally peacefully relax. It seems that you’re doing it with confidence. You’re ready for this change
In three years …
Starting off strong with the sun card..
This change definitely benefited you tremendously! You seem confident and willing to cut off everything that doesn’t serve you. You’re surrounded by people that you equally give and take from. I don’t think they’re a lot. It looks like a small cycle but you know they’re good for you and reliant!
In terms of love , I see indecisiveness coming to an end. You might have been through relationships where you were constantly arguing with your partner, but again, this is coming to an end. There’s this new energy in love , that either signifies the renewal of an existing relationship, or entering a new one! ( tbh, leaning towards the last one ). You also seem to communicate really well.
Extra: you might struggle with food a bit. I see that you don’t really have an appetite or even time to eat. Be careful of that!
You also seem to be moving places ! This could mean literally moving places or getting a promotion, going to uni/ college etc..
Also , you seem to be really proud of yourself and how far you’ve come !
☆ PILE TWO 💸
Currently , you seem to be investing a lot of your time in the work or studies. While I feel that it’s draining you I see that you are staying optimistic and expecting great results. Maybe you went through an exam period or were heavy on homework. This could also signify that you’ve put a lot of work towards yourself, and you’re really proud of it!
In three years …
You seem really confident with yourself and your appearance. It looks like you got the time to heal and re invent yourself. There’s a lot of blessings coming your way that you may not see coming. Some of you may be studying or working into the medical field as well!
You’re coming off as emotionally strong and ready to finally live your life to the fullest. You may go through a heartbreak. BUT! it seems minor to you tbh. I think this was caused bc of the mentality change you went through. You were tired of getting crumbs of attention and get treated poorly. You’ve been wanting this to change , but even if you were hurt , you were still holding on. You finally got the courage to do it. You’re starting to put your energy into things that will benefit you more in the wrong run. In these three years you’re really transforming your life for the better. Your coming off as victorious.
While I did your reading there was a commercial on the tv about “ first dates” , that played two times. So , going on first dates and starting something new in love might be major in the next three years
☆ PILE THREE 🩸
Right now, you might be going through a heartbreak , or have people interested in you , that you couldn’t care less about. And as you should. Their offers are nothing compared to what you deserve. Which I see that you already know. You might get approached by someone closer to your standards , but again , I’m not seeing something serious. You seem better off alone
In three years …
First of all , Jesus💀 ( in the nicest way possible)
You’ve went through A LOT in the past… In three years of now , you seem to still be really sceptical and picky with who you trust and let around you. Once again, you’re doing the right thing. You’re remaining focused on your desires and goals , and they’re coming to you faster than you think. I think you’re that “closed off” to love , bc of fear of getting hurt again. I see you went through some really bad situations but still managed to get through them. Even if you got badly injured , physically or mentally. I really see a lot of abuse here ( in the past ) , and the contrast between the past and your future crazy. You’re really protective of your feelings , and rightfully so. Even if you’ve never been in a relationship, you still want to be careful.
It seems that like pile two, you will be starting something new in love. This might be with a person you already know. That you trust and you know it’s reliant. This is not something casual or a fling / one night stand. I see you actually forming a beautiful relationship. You’re patience is being rewarded. You’re glowing and your person is clearly seeing that. You seem to be forming a beautiful relationship with good communication. You will achieve a lot of things together
#pick a card#tarot#tarotcommunity#daily tarot#tarotblr#love tarot reading#tarot reading#pac tarot#tarotonline
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the avengers meeting your boyfriend [teenage avenger headcanons!]
type of writing: headcanons / scenario
word count: 1.2k
request: yes / no
original request: can you do one where the reader gets a boyfriend and everybody is getting overprotective and when they see their door closed they all bust in while we are watching a movie bc they thought the reader & bf were making out so they give them “the talk”😭😭
dynamic: avengers x teen!reader (teenage avenger series)
characters: so many oml but some include tony stark, bruce banner, natasha romanoff, clint barton, thor, steve rogers, scott lang, bucky barnes, wanda maximoff, sam wilson, there's probably more but that's all i'll put for now lol
a/n: y'all know i had to use this picture LMAO anyways ty for the request!!! two in one day #slay (that rhymes) requests are still open, send in an ask whenever :)
taglist: @nutellani @thecloudedmind
(fill out this form to be on my taglist!)
-----------------------✰----------------------
ok first i’m gonna name ur bf so it doesn’t get confusing
HAHA
let’s call him
jack
guys i’m so unoriginal pls ignore :’)
anyways so you had been dating jack for a while
he had asked you to go to midtown’s winter formal together :)
and ofc u didn’t tell any of the avengers bc u KNEW they wouldn’t react well
but of COURSE mr. peter parker was so excited that he had to open his big mouth
miles kicked him under the table but it was too late
“who asked you to the formal y/n?” natasha asked, a small smile on her face
you could FEEL yourself blushing
all you wanted to do was like sink into the floor
which is actually physically possible (though it’s an anomaly)
bruce told you that :D
anyways you just shook your head
so then HARLEY decided to go “jack lastname”
IM REALLY BAD AT NAMES IM SORRY
and you were ready to die
right then and there
if the grim reaper decided it was your time you would be fine with it
so tony goes “jack lastname… huh.”
“tony, please don’t – “ you tried, but he was already there.
“jarvis, can you run a background check on that kid.”
you were so embarrassed.
miles, sweet sweet miles tried to change the subject
“so um… steve. how was… your day.”
but then there was sam wilson butting in
“when is winter formal anyway? you know we gotta know so we can take pictures.”
and that made you, harley, peter, and miles groan
tony was still looking at some tablet or whatever.
“stark!” came thor’s booming voice. “i thought you said no electronic devices were permitted at the dinner table! if they were, i would be much happier!!”
“yeah yeah. well they’re not. i’m busy.” tony replied, dismissing the god with a wave of his hand.
and happy, who was right next to tony, kept leaning over and shaking his head or nodding.
SO EMBARRASSING
anyways once you got done with dinner you went to put the dishes in the dishwasher robot
idk why i said it like that but it’s basically this cool thing where you put the dishes in the sink and this robot will wash them & put them away
very nice bc doing the dishwasher is so much work sometimes.
but then wanda, nat and carol came in
and you KNEW they were gonna try to get you to talk
“i’ll tell you guys later.” you spoke, trying to end the embarrassment.
“come on y/n! we want to see him at least.” carol said, tilting her head and raising a brow.
“ok fine.” you said, and pulled up a picture of jack. you showed it to them for like one second and then put your phone back in your pocket.
“hey wait! no fair! i wanna see! yeah.” came the voices of sam, clint, scott, and bucky as they tried to fight their way into the kitchen.
“that’s a hard no. maybe i’ll bring him here after the dance. harley peter miles and i were already going to stay over. then he could walk by you guys for TWO SECONDS and then do something with me.”
“alright.” said sam, crossing his arms and nodding.
“seems fair!” said bruce.
“perfect.” you replied, leaving the room to leave them all to inevitably gossip.
SKIP AHEAD
ok so it’s winter formal
and you strategically told jack to meet you there so that the avengers couldn’t bombard him during picture taking time.
so y’all had a super fun time
& u slow danced with each other 🤭🤭
it was super fun
but you were kind of dreading going back to the tower
you had told jack about being an avenger a few weeks ago
and he was super excited to meet them all
jack is like super sweet & really awesome
so it put you at ease a little bit.
so you went back to the tower with him
peter harley and miles had gone to get ice cream and were coming back later
so you did the retinal and fingerprint scan that would let you into the elevator
and you went up to the main floor (so you could get to your room)
but ofc they were all there
and so you took jack’s hand and brought him over to where they all were
he was lowkey freaking out
and bro
bucky and sam and clint and scott looked so unamused
tony and happy too
SO YOU JUST TRIED TO KEEP IT CIVIL
but they all were acting so clipped and like not charismatic
idk
but wanda, steve and bruce were rly nice so that put jack at ease a little bit
anyways so then you took jack to your room
you guys had been planning to watch a movie together
he was kind of nervous because he didn’t think the avengers liked him
but you assured him they did
(at least you hoped)
anyways you turned on the movie & watched it
and it was soo funny so y’all were laughing a lot
BUT THEN THE DOOR SUDDENLY OPENED
and it was so loud you got freaked out fr
but then you saw it was tony, bucky, sam and steve.
“y/n. could you go out in the hall for a minute.” steve said.
“this is my room!!” you tried, but tony just pointed out to the hall.
“i’m sorry jack.” you said to your boyfriend
jack was literally about to cry omg
poor thing
“don’t be mean.” you said as you left, taking extra care to give them all a withering stare
natasha and bucky had taught you that skill well bc you saw sam shiver HAHA
so you went to the hall and clint, scott, and natasha were standing there.
“what are they DOING??” you hissed at them.
“they’re just worried for you y/n. they wanted to talk to the kid.” natasha assured you, patting your shoulder.
“yeah, nothin’ to worry about!!” scott added, a big grin on his face
“well i really don’t trust that coming from you.” you replied
“well tony thought you guys were kissing in there!” clint laughed.
although it turned into an “ow” when natasha elbowed him
“he WHAT?!” you replied
“yeah, that’s why he came up here. he said he wanted the most intimidating ones to go make that kid afraid or something.” scott added. “not sure why he didn’t ask me…”
you gave scott a nod but then made your way back into your room, crossing your arms and raising a brow as tony, bucky, sam and steve turned towards you.
“hey y/n.” sam said, raising a hand to wave.
“are you guys done now? i’d like to finish the movie.” you said, trying to be stern.
“i think we are. right jack?” steve said, standing up and gesturing towards your boyfriend.
“yes sir! i mean steve. i mean mr. rogers?” he said, clearly scared out of his mind.
“yeah yeah. alright. get out please!!” you said, guiding them out of your room.
bucky was the last to leave, but despite you pushing him, he turned back to face your boyfriend.
“hey, you. hurt them in any way and i’ll find you.” he said, accompanied by his signature deathstare.
then he gave a little salute to you.
“night kid. don’t stay up too late.”
and then he was gone.
“did he really mean that??” jack said, eyes wide.
“yeah, he did.” you said, sitting beside him and holding his hand. “isn’t that sweet?”
-----------------------✰----------------------
#avengers x teen!reader#teenage avenger series#thor#iron man#tony stark#steve rogers#sam wilson#bucky barnes#wanda maximoff#carol danvers#clint barton#scott lang#happy hogan#natasha romanoff#avengers headcanons#mcu#marvel#mcu headcanons#marvel headcanons
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do u have any LeoVil headcanons? I like ur thoughts.
I hope you know how much I appreciate every single ask of yours that asks me about my thoughts and rants djdjsjs
Ahem. Besides the HCs I have mentioned here, I certainly have more bc oh boy, this ship got me wrapped in its silly little subtly toxic spiderweb.
For one, this one has been inspired by a fanart - Unfortunately I do not remember the artist or post (if you know: Please do link it in the comments and/or the reblogs or let me know about it, so I can link it‼️). In said Fanart, Leona and Vil has exchanged flowers to send a little message and well, I think I've expressed yesterday for a little how much I adore the language of flowers. So naturally, I'm falling in love with a fanart that uses said language to express even the slightest.
[Post has been edited, said fanart is linked here. Check it out, it's really pretty. The artist makes such good LeoVil fanarts in general tbh.]
So mainly, I have the HC that Vil started using flowers to express his feelings (both positive AND negative! Flowers can be indeed used to insult) towards Leona - But he didn't understand until Ruggie had pointed out that the "choice of flowers is odd" (He may know only know which flowers are edible and which aren't but my boy is smart). Leona then realized that Vil was secretly communicating with him, so he started to hit the books for a bit to reply in the same language. First, he found it stupid and used it in a sarcastic/snarky way but he started to slowly love it when he realized that no one really knew what was going on - Just that both Vil and Leona had random flowers popping up in their rooms, their favorite places and their desks (only the two of them knew the flowers were from each other). Then, at some point, Leona received a bouquet with following flowers (after studying them, he found out about their Victorian meaning - The preferred choice of language of Vil [Leona was basing himself on the more modern "translation"]): Buttercup (= "You are radiant with charm"), Camellia (= "Longing for you"), Cornflower (= Hope in Love), pansy (= "You occupy my thoughts") and a single tulip (= "I declare my love for you"). Vil waited for a week or so to receive an answer, already giving up on it when a single red rose was lying in front of his door.
[Mentions of attempted self-quit. Please skip to the next paragraph if it triggers you]
Since I personally believe that Leona is not only depressed but also has the lean to.. quit. I "like" (not in the way I'd enjoy it but I can see it) to imagine that he had one (1) attempt to leave - But it has been prevented by Vil. Not intentionally, mind you. Vil has walked in on Leona, who was midst doing the deed (I personally believe he'd go for a wound-free, "Falling asleep" kind - Therefore some kind of overdose and/or poisoning. Not really "Falling asleep peacefully" but idk, it just makes sense to me, so bear with me). Leona, who basically was on the edge of passing out forever, having severe issues with what he had consumed and then Mr. Perfect (Vil) walks in on him, thinking he just ate something that was already bad, so he stays. Talks to him. Keeps him aware, conscious. Alive. No one except Leona himself knows the truth, he just went with the excuse of having eaten something that has gone bad.
Vil definitely fell first, Leoma fell harder. Or better said: Vil fell slowly but obviously, Leona was just suddenly struck by "Oh shit, it's love" out of nowhere.
[While they're dating] Leonas closet is missing at least five shirts and to this day, the lion blames Ruggie - Fully unaware that the poor hyena hasn't done anything wrong this time. In fact, if Leona would've taken a single closer look in Vils closet, he would've known where his shirts have gone. Vil took them and usually wears them when going to sleep (bc that way, no one knows he owns them nor will anyone know that they're dating to begin with).
They're getting mutually annoyed by Rooks' not so subtle presence in the background (he got locked at least twice in a room, so they could go on a secret date).
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Something that bugs me a little is the insistence that Gohan actively hates to fight period. Bc that's not true!
(This ignores everything that happened outside the original manga/the DBZ anime)
Yes, he lacks Goku's or Vegeta's laser-focus on all things martial arts, but let's be real, all half Saiyans do. Goten & Trunks sure have more passion for fighting than Gohan does but they're much more "human" about it than their dads and have other interests in their lives too.
But while Gohan originally became a fighter out of necessity and had little choice in the matter there are instances when he clearly shows that he is totally capable of enjoying himself in a fight.
For once there's obviously his fight against Cell - once he snapped his "Saiyan side" took the lead and he was enjoying himself a little too much (and ruined it, like a good Saiyan must).
But it also becomes clear in the early Buu arc. Yeah, initially he's not rly interested in the tournament and wouldn't have participated if not for Videl forcing him.
But once he was in he was in. He even got a little annoyed by Videl interrupting his training, and he did want to win. If he really hated it so much he could have entered with the plan of failing the preliminaries, or losing in the first round. But the thought never crossed his mind. I think if you'd suggested he botches it deliberately to get out of it he'd been horrified.
He was going to have fun with it! I think his most "Saiyan" trait is that he's a bit of a showman lol. He likes to be flashy! And he likes to boast! He COULD have just used a plain costume and mask to hide hid identity but nope, Great Saiyaman it is! He likes being seen and being known as a crazy strong superhero. Maybe he'd have been into pro-wrestling with their fancy costumes and showmanship
Even before things went off the rails at the tournament and Buu arc was set in motion he was ready to go. And yes his crush on Videl might have served as motivation: "haha cool she won't be disappointed if someone beats her dad! (I can date her if I beat her dad)" -> he WOULD have thrown Satan out of the ring if he'd gotten to fight him, no questions asked.
And once he, Goku & Vegeta are in Babidi's spaceship it gets even clearer: now, no one is forcing him to fight. Ofc Gohan always wanted to fight when it was necessary, even at 5yo he wouldn't stay home, he made it very clear that he was going to Namek.
But while they were going through the levels in Babidi's ship this still wasn't a serious thing. Pui Pui and Yakon were a joke for them. Vegeta was getting pissed, ok, but aside from that it was just fun and games for them, and Gohan could easily have said "nah have at it you two, I'm sitting this one out" but never once did he so much as consider NOT taking part in rock-paper-scissoring it out to decide who gets to go first.
He was eager to fight Dabra! Dabra told them to take him on 3:1 and Gohan flat out told him "no way, this is MY fight!".
And if Vegeta had interfered with that fight to end it quicker I'm 100% sure Gohan would have decked him in the face and told him to fuck off. (Maybe that would have cooled Geets' mood a little lol.)
The problem isn't that Gohan hates fighting from the bottom of his heart. He doesn't.
The problem is he grew up with a dad who was 100% a fighter and a mum who was 100% into education, and he didn't find a balance. He didn't even know that might be an option! He thought he'd HAVE to choose one thing, and one alone, and so he chose education.
Who could have taught him otherwise? Maaaaybe Piccolo (post-reunification with Kami), but tbh I think he didn't want to give Gohan the feeling he had to fight. I think Piccolo feels a little bad for putting 4-5yo Gohan through the wringer so much.
Like idk. Let my boy be both. Let him have Goku's legacy as well as make his own!
(I've read about Dragon Ball Online a little and tbh Gohan writing a book on ki and making it widely known? Perfect. I love it. Best idea ever. Probably the best thing that happened to DB since the original manga and Z anime ended. I am accepting this as canon 100%.)
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Well then, lemme just-
You know how some teens try to act all tough and serious so they can look cool and "mature for their age" but in reality are a complete sweetheart (and maybe a scared cat/crybaby too lol) and all of the adults there know this bc they knew/know them since their parents had them? Yeah<3
Reader: Nothing scares me😎, I'm awesome just like that-
Kevin: Oh! Hey Y/N, how are y-
Reader: *high-pitched scream*
When Reader discovered what Bob had done it probably hit them HARD. They thought he was the COOLEST dude on the neighborhood who always gave them free food after hard days at school and would let them hang out at his work when their parents were away, now you are telling them that police discovered that he was a killer?? That gotta be a very hurtful event, especially if you are a kid.
So they kind of created this fake version of themselves to make it seem that they were over it and that it actually didn't affect them, they became this "too cool for school😎" teen who didn't have any feeling besides "chill" and "stoic". Which ends up making some of the people they grew around worried, they know why they became like this but nobody has the guts to confront them about it, knowing how the topic hurts them
Lila: So...do you want to talk about Bob-
Reader: Why would I? I don't care about what happened 😎
Lila: Well then...take your glasses off please?
Reader: 🤏😎....🥺
Bob(after escaping prison) probably wouldn't recognize them at first, only when they start to cry and beg for him not to kill them is when he notices that the teen in front of him is that kid who would always hang around when he was working. At that moment he kinda freezes, he can't believe it! They look so different! He tries to calm them down, telling them that it's only him, Bob! You remember him... right?
They just look so small and sad, there is this voice in the back of his head telling him to hug them and never let go, to comfort them like a parent comforts their child after a bad dream...and that's exactly what he would have done...if they hadn't ran away.
(idk man, just want Bob to be a platonic yandere to this teen who tries to act all tough but is absolutely terrified of him lol.)
(SORRY THIS IS SO LONG LOL)
(I love when anons or anyone explains and expresses their creativity and I'll make this into head canons with a tad of shitpost)
bob would have books on how to raise a teenager and other stuff. He does go out of his way to get you good animal meat sense you don't really have a wanting for it, which is fine but will the police on his ass and all
Bob does make dad jokes with a mix of cannibal humor in. Plus seeing you try to be cool but in reality a scared little kid makes him feel like a dad trying to raise a toddler who is afraid of their own shadow....he is convinced you are afraid of your own shadow, bob tries to make his house kinda child proof after hearing about how kids (which he kinda feels like you are) get hurt or almost get poisoned by things in the house or around the house so he trys everything to keep you from hurting yourself
He wears glasses....no one can change my mind, and bob does let you make friends. Well after he has you calm down after the fact he is a mass cannibal serial killer in a fucking devil costume, he is not above carrying you plus he wont spoil you a lot just at the beginning so you can at least calm down to know your not going to die....one time you went to go get a drink form the fridge at night and didn't know which fridge bob kept the drink (cause I headcanon he puts his drink and the dead bodies in two separate fridges cause he doesn't want you to get sick or just because your not use to the smell of dead corpses of victims old and new) and you open the wrong fridge and a fresh dead body falls out onto the floor your just use to it and shove the body back into the fridge and forget your drink.
Bob isn't bothered by you being gay or trans, pansexual ect. But he will need to see who your dating cause he wants the best for you....he makes "hi gay I'm dad" joke when you came out because you're his 'kid' and he will try to poke fun at any time he gets the chance, if you want to date two people that's okay but I feel like bob knows we're everyone lives in the town so he will get on his devil costume and go outside to check if your boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating on you and if they are....then oh boy he busting in and kill them.
You guys know when your trying to show your parents something on your phone and they do that looking far away from the screen to see it?....yeah bob has to grab his glasses and does that plus when he's cooking meat he knows how to season and make good ass hamburgers
#yandere bob velseb#bob velseb#spooky month bob#yandere spooky month#spooky month x reader#spooky month pump#spooky month sr pelo#spooky month kevin#spooky month#x male reader#yandere x gn reader#x gn reader#x reader#yandere x y/n#yandere x you#yandere platonic#platonic yandere
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John Bender relationship hc
Requested HERE
Tags: fem!reader, 80’s setting, John is cute, and also kinda feral, like one mention of sex?
Authors note: omg it’s been too long since I’ve seen the breakfast club ): no but also there’s no fics for any of them? Literally?? They’re so underrated. It was kinda hard to write ngl, like we don’t really get that much info on them in the movie haha I hope this is readable tho
974 words
oh man
He is so goddamn emotionally unavailable you wouldn’t believe it
He’s pretty self destructive too and pretty quick to act out
You probably met him in detention
He immediately noticed you, tbh he thought you were hot as fuck
He wanted to flirt with you but his idea of flirting is.. interesting
Low key just bullied you for the entire day
Affectionate bullying?
You thought he was super annoying, but also couldn’t deny that he was hot
He literally doesn’t shut up, it’s kinda impressive how he never runs out of dumb shit to say
He acted up a lot more than normal during that detention, yk trying to impress you and all
It low key worked
No but like he really only have two moods
Annoying or gross
After bullying you didn’t seem to work, he started making sexual innuendos
Honestly he would find it so hot if you stood up for yourself and put him in his place
It probably wouldn’t work, but he would be very ecstatic lmao
When detention finally ends, he sneakily tries to ask you on a date
By which I mean, he said “Hey sweetheart, I know this reallyyyy nice motel not too far away. How ‘bout we rent a room?”
You didn’t even respond, just rolled your eyes and walked off
It now becomes his goal in life to take you on a date
He “accidentally” bumps into you in the hallways at school the next day
He’s a goddamn loudmouth, sometimes he just can’t help himself from saying dumb shit so the first few times he asks you out.. don’t really go well
He feels like he has to upkeep his bad boy persona
He tries to be even louder and more reckless around you, bc he assumes you’ll only like him if he keeps up with his reputation
Eventually you tell him that you actually like him more when he’s just himself and he’s just mind blown
He literally went :0
When you first start dating he really has to get used to physical affection
He has only experienced physical touch in a sexual or violent manner
So when you just simply hug him, he’s stunned
You held his hand once and the man was too stunned to speak
Please just pet his hair
I mean, have you seen how luscious it is
You’re the first person to genuinely understand him and communicate with him
His whole life he’s just been bossed around by his dad and authority figures
So he falls for you, hard. Like, the guy is following you around school with heart eyes
He skips his classes to watch your cheer practice lmao
(He just wants to see you in a short skirt ngl)
When he finally gets used to it, he’s a huge pda fan
Literally doesn’t care where you are, you will sit on his lap and hold his hand
Even if it’s in the middle of your English class
This eventually leads to more detention, but to John that’s just more time he gets to spend with you! Yay :D
He’s with you all the time, but will never ever take you to his house
He’s actually terrified of what his dad would do to you
Or even worse, maybe he would do something to John in front of you
John is so scared you think he’s weak for getting beat up by his dad
Which is absolutely ridiculous, you would never think that
You also tell him this, telling him that you also think he’s very brave for finally talking about it
If you have a similar home situation he would be your biggest support as well
But if you have a good home situation, he’ll basically live at your house
Ngl, he can be quite the charmer when he wants
He’s really trying his best to impress your parents
And besides all the times he’s been in the local newspaper for vandalism, they’re absolutely in love with him
He still has those episodes sometimes, like when he gets too angry at his dad and goes and does something dangerous or stupid
It always ends up with him hurting himself in some way
Sometimes he takes his anger out on you, he would never hit you or anything but he can get pretty mean
He always regrets it immediately after
After a fight, he feels too shitty to go back to you and apologize
So he just stays away for a bit, the longest he’s been away is a week
You legitimately thought he left town or something
He just hates seeing you cry and feels like the biggest asshole ever
As your relationship progresses, you’d be able to discuss these things with him a bit more
He’s still very quick to blow up and get angry, but he really tries his best
After a while, he stops leaving for such a long time, coming back after just a few hours
You didn’t hear it from me, but makeup sex with John is the best lmfao
Anyways
He l o v e s it when you wear his big coat
Sometimes he comes up to you and drapes it over you just because
He can’t help himself, it’s so damn cute how you almost disappear inside it
You’re definitely known as John’s girl at school
Ppl don’t really mess with you, anything is better than having an angry John Bender on your ass
He would literally do anything for you
Such a simp tbh
No but he definitely starts saving up his money, his plan is to buy a place for the two of you after you graduate
Please just let him wife you up lolol
He definitely became a lot nicer to other ppl when you started dating too, good job
Hi! Thanks for making it to the end <3
If you want to request more John Bender or anything else, you can do it HERE
#the breakfast club#john bender#john bender x reader#the breakfast club x reader#80’s retro#John is cute#self insert
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First thoughts TTPD:
What a lana x folklore girlie win this issss!
1.Fortnight is about matty?? HAHAHAHA also why did this make me think of when holt was going running with the ladies when he was in witness protection??? Crying. Fav line has to be they were supposed to take me away but they forgot to come and get me. So sad but also so cool in relation to her cancellation/return. 10/10
2. TTPD- not so hahahaha anymore IS THIS ACTUALLY A FUCKING MATTY HEALY ALBUM??? There was a typewriter at the 1975 show she performed anti-hero at? Unless its somehow about harry? Who else is tattooed on her roster??? Or is this about herself? Kinda feel like modern idiots/who’s going to decode is directed at us lol😂 9/10?
3.My boy only breaks his favourite toys- went in expecting mad woman rage. Pleasantly surprised. king of my heart to queen of sandcastles he destroys….DESTROYED ME. Are you fucking kidding me rn? Im caling it. Best song. Im crying at 7.30 am this is not funny anymore. Also THANK YOU FOR NOT SLANDERING DAD. I knew you wouldnt let us down like that. Also the chorus sounds like long story short😭 oh this is so sad. Once i fix me hes going to miss me? He was my best friend?😭 he runs because he loves me? Stopp😭😭 1000000/10
4.Down bad- ….aaaand we’re back to MATTY AGAIN? He does not deserve this spotlight but why are all the song so goood😭😭😭 is this why artists love to date problematic men? It unlocks some extraordinary potential? Crazy crazy girl😭 also stay down (bad) 🤌🏾 shes done it again 10/10 also for personal reasons i will be believing this is about joe in that Tom/Joe/met gala overlap period when she was photographed going to the gym a lot and that this is about all that yearning please let it be about that plesplesplesplesplesples also down bad waking up in blood staring at the sky…like i lost a twin is giving bigger than the whole sky🥺
5. So long, london- so so long long, lon-don DONE? ok miss girl😭 the hoax parallels😭 dont be undoing the song i was going to play at my weddddding what is wrong with you😭 my only one my smoking gun to two graves one gun youll find someone??? Also reminds me of la la land :/ how much sad did you think I had in me? You wrote hoax so a lot ok leave us alone. crying again. 10000000000000000/10 oh lol its a track 5 ofc it is😂
6. But daddy I love him- she really said if you ever liked, shared or even LOOKED at the ‘vivaa las vegas’ memes you cant come to the wedding and shes so real for it. Lfgggg. Ubothered unhinged uhmazing. Growing up precocious sometimes means you still hold on to that princess/quarterback wattpad fantasy AS IS YOUR RIGHT QUEEN GO THE FUCK OFF🥳 100000/10 calling out toxic fandom for the first time and we love to see it🫡 this is suchhhh a happy songggg you deserve ALL the chaos and revelry.
7. Fresh out the slammer- god she gets it. Like sure he was great and he is still my biological father and everything but as a decidedly melancholy person myself who has constantly had atleast one close friend in a deep depression I can see how all that heavy lifting can just get heavy at some point especially when youre a partner and their sole lighthouse in wtv storms be out there buffeting their mental health. Its not for everyone and thats so fair and so valid but so sad as well. 10/10 for the honesty.
8. Florida- she really said girlrot summer🫡 this is the lanaest song ever. So lucky one/nothing new coded. This will be the First song I repeat and then so long london. Aaaghhh how i love a self aware melancholic anxious little superstar. 90283749292/10 thank you for giving florence an entire verse whew. Little did you know your home’s really only a town you’re just a guest in is soooo going on my body forever
9. Guilty as sin?- honestly just fuck if it means we dont have to hear about how desirable ratty healy is man ffs. IThe only reason he looks so hot is bc hes forbidden. You have to trust me on this. He’s sooo mid JESUS. U cant be writing hozier lyrics about a man that hasn’t met a shower😭 1000000/10 writing. -16392992/10 content. Unrequited love/lust truly is the greatest weapon in a poets arsenal bc where is this energy in the joe songs binch?😭 this is such a teen in love with a 26 yo creep who called me so mature for my age mom you just dont get ittt anthem😂😂
10. Who’s afraid of little old me?- is a warning 😂 im so here for it. Like yes I still hate matty with all my heart and soul but yes I agree fans should not be allowed so much of an opinion on another persons life and yes I should be afraid (I am). She said aight love letter era over I AM WRITING YOU ALL HATE MAIL AND I’M HAND DELIVERING IT. Shes sooo done pretending to be the relatable girl next door when she’s anything but and is now reminding us of it and yes yes yessss girl OWN ITTTTTTTT. I’ve been saying for agesssss that there is a darkness under all that sunshine from where she clawed her way to the top and this is sooo vindicating. 10000000000000/10 favourite song ever. Mad woman wishes she was who’s afraid of little old me. I am unwell. I am in love. This is the Taylor Swift i stan. The marketing genius the calculating business woman the puppet master with narcotics in her songs thats why we sing along🫡 she so can handle a dangerous man
11. I can fix him (no really I can)- you cant.
12. loml- ofc. OFC. Its the saddest song of all time. OFC. Fuck offf ughhhh. 😭😭😭😭😭 its giving happiness. Its giving divorce. i am a child of a broken home now and my parents still love each other and hold so much regret still. What do i do with thissss? Im just a little girl taylorrr! 1002380292011010101/10 soo so gooood.
13. I can do it with a broken heart- first of all track 13. Love it. Second of all the upbeat barbieness of it all. Third of all I FINALLY PLACED IT. Shes in her unrelatable era. She is not your girl next door. You will never understand her life. She is as much a phenomenon as a person and we literally only see as much as she allows us to and honestly if i have to get put in my place theres noooo better way to have it done. Im having such a great time actually. 10 BILLION TRILLION OUT OF 10 you tellll em girl you FUCKING TELL EM.
14. Smallest man who ever lived- not going to speculate on who it is bc they clearly had a serious problem and its not a joke but damn :/ thats so sad :/ hope they get help? Didnt expect this to be what the song was about at all?
15. The alchemy- she said TRAVIS IS MY BOY WITH HER WHOLE CHEST😌 10/10
16. Clara bow- did she just name drop herself ? I was so right about unrelatable era. Also the Subtle nod to olivia/sabrina noted and appreciated. Lucky one/castles crumbling (mature version) fr fr. Solid legacy song.
17. The black dog- shared your secrets with and location is the same whiplash as a red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground with no one around to tweet it🤌🏾 joe songs hit so so different 😭😭😭 1000000000/10
18. imgonnagetyouback- the valiant roar was not so valiant and more of a mew i guess. 7/10
19. The albatross- oh this is the ONE. The album defining song for sureeee. Mad woman on coke. A rose by any other name is a scandal???? Thats my religion right there. Little last great American dynasty twist there at the end! Fuck yea. She does reallly try to warn the men in her life have to give her that. One gazillion/10
20. Clearly god has favourites and they are the ppl called chloe or sam or sophia or marcus😭 ALSO this song is about joe for sure. The internet starlet hasss to be delaney rowe!!!! It HAS TO BE. 10/10
21. How did it end?- shes back for the fans😂 plot twist the breakup is with yall🤌🏾 but yesss say it louder! One gasp and then how did it end. So good. 100/10
22. So high school- lmao aristotle grand theft auto ONLYY taylor swift man😭😂 you know what you want and boy you got her🫡🫡 11/10
23. I hate it here- mother’s having a mental breakdown kids yk the drill🤌🏾 10/10
24. ThanK you aIMiee- what better way to say fuck you to a hater than to thank her for jumpstarting your legacy my god!!! She is insane for this. The capitalisation is a bit petty tho ngl. 8/10
25. I look in peoples windows- once again I thank you for the kindness and respect shown to joe. Never doubted you but thank you nevertheless. 10/10 short as nice to have a friend but it didnt need to be longer.
26. The prophecy- its so sad and humbling to see even a woman at where she is having to beg for love bc that literally is the nature of love. Something humiliating, to have to beg for 🤷♀️ cards playing out like fools in a fable cursed like eve got bitten. No one writes like her damn. 10/10
27. Cassandra- very madeline miller on this one. Love love loveee modern takes on tragic greek women. 100/10
28. Peter- ah fuck. This one is going to hurt (it did). 1000000/10 my ribs get the feeling she did😭 all her joe related aches are so bone deeeep ugh. Promises oceans deep but never to keep😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 oh god it hurtsss it hurts it hurtss
29. The bolter- curious child ever reviled except by her father wow.
30. Robin- OMG! I needed this song growing up sooo bad. That way to go tiger felt so so warm like running into a kitchen after a day of being in the mud and u tell ur mum the silly things u did and shes genuinely interested and impressed by your smol victories. A bajillion/10
31. The manuscript- postmortem of every ex ever🤌🏾 love it.
#taylor swift#anatrik#ttpd#fortnight#clara bow#but daddy i love him#the smallest man who ever lived#loml#my boy only breaks his favourite toys#down bad#so long london#fresh out the slammer#florida#guilty as sin?#who’s afraid of little old me#the alchemy#i can do it with a broken heart#first thoughts#the tortured poets department#my writing#the black dog#the albatross#chloe or sam or sophia or marcus#how did it end?#i hate it here#thanK you aIMee#i look in people's windows#peter#cassandra#robin
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do you think falin went on dates/potentially even hooked up with people periodically during those 4 years she and marcille were separated? i know you ascribe to has-been-pining-since-childhood falin (and tbh so do i), but i find it interesting that there were at least Two people interested in falin if we are to believe chilchuck's party relations chart. at the very least, she considered toshiro's proposal -- even if her intentions for doing so were rooted less in mutual interest and more in her fear of being alone -- and it makes me wonder if anyone else were to like... show interest in falin, what would the circumstances have to be for her to be an active participant/if she would've reciprocated if it was casual enough (because i can't see her getting into a serious relationship with anyone while she's still in love with marcille -- unless?)
i could see it going either way. girl who can't believe people could actually LIKE her that way because she struggles with liking herself (despite probably being the most beloved character in canon, though her ostracization in her hometown and the magic academy could explain why...... wait hold on i'M GETTING SIDETRACKED!!) vs. girl's first time being freed from an authority's expectations going a little wild at, well, a taste of freedom (plus a dose of delayed sexual awakening due to prior ostracization + "don't think of marcille like that don't think of marcille like that doN'T. DO NOT." double whammy)
idk idk idk! i find it SO interesting that she's so beloved in canon but is simultaneously very passive about it? i really love how a little creature explores what a more proactive falin could look like, and i'm super curious about your thoughts on what falin's love life would look like/if a love life would even exist decoupled from her newfound dragon instincts and marcille
honestly this is the one aspect im never sure about bc... i've seen other people establish that falin's gone and kissed or gotten involved with some of the other girls at the academy, or other adventurers. and i respect that! mostly bc it's a way of painting falin as more independent and mature than the canon material, and i can't knock that.
but i guess? idk. she was as clueless about shuro's feelings as laios was until he actually proposed to her. she also believed that she wouldn't get another proposal, so there's an element of her not realizing that she's particularly attractive. that, or she's... still somehow working by her hometown logic, which im assuming is the old "if you're not married by your teenage years you're considered a really bad marriage candidate for men" type thing, considering how much of a small town it was/the fact that she and laios already had marriages arranged from a young age.
an intensely auDHD woman, who has spent all of her independent life focusing on at least one person she was inseparably close to, not having had any romantic experience at the age of 23? that's very likely. personally i'd consider it more likely than the alternatives, but that's just my opinion lol
#asks#falin touden#dungeon meshi#i didn't articulate this super super well but#idk#i can see her having kissed other people#but relationships? sex? nah#not unless she was pressured into it which... considering her personality... is not pleasant to think about so im just gonna ignore all tha#but yeah i know a ton of people who havent had romantic experience into their mid or late twenties#mostly bc they just never found the opportunity to nor took the time to pursue it seriously on their own#its really not that uncommon or weird#marcilleposting
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besties can i just say omg so i went thru ur blog obsessively bc i looove the ideas behind ur headcannons and little snipets of stories. i was wondering what bobby headcannons u guys have. also memory i loove ur writing and roe?? gorgeous fanart oml
AWWWWW THANK YOUU!!! rhis is so sweet 😭🫶🫶 i saw your comment on my fic thank u sm
im gonna be honest, we dont have many bobby hcs (i really wanna change that, i fucking ADORE bobby - and, if its any help, i actually have a fic up ((dont look back in anger)) where he’s a main character!! although its an au, i hope it’ll suffice for now :3)
- bobby is definitely a prankster, but like, hes NOTORIOUS for it. and not in the bad way. he has silly pranks that only mildly inconvenience the person on the receiving end (like the dumping water on lmq and cals heads after races) and he’s Always at the scene of the crime when something silly happens. he just Is the embodiment of silly. and yes i know this is canon for the most part but hes literally just so silly i cant not include it
- hes the youngest of the trio, the baby, even, he’s a december baby, born in 1988 (same year as lightning - cal is an ‘87 baby i believe - so when bobby started racing in 2007 he was still 18) but just at the End, whereas lightning was born in may . despite this he’s still the tallest, and probably the most well built of the three . aka lightning is scrawny and cal is just Average. and when lightning makes fun of him for being a Baby hes like ok well ure literally short as hell. what about that. huh? what can you do about your height? i’ll have a birthday but you dont have a get taller day? huh? and lightnings like. well. okay.
- i feel like he befriended cal first, like, he and lightning “hated” each other but it was less hate and more lightning being incapable of making friends (lmq and cal met at the infield care center after strips crash, so they were friends ever since then) and so cal was just in the middle of this “rivalry” that was in reality like. hey. cal. i think that bobby guy is really cool do u think he’d wanna be my friend. and cals like I DONT KNOW TALK TO HIM? and they talk and theyre like wow i actually thought u hated me (theyre best friends now)
- bobby both has an iconic autograph, but hes also so good with his fans its impossible for anyone to hate him. he has so many iconic pictures and literally everyone he meets praises him for his kindness and blatant silliness . hes just super easy going and generally amazing to be around
- out of all the racers hes probably got the most amusing advertisements as well, he will go ALL IN for whatever octane gain (or his smaller/secondary sponsors) want from him, and its so Genuine it just feels like he LOVES to be there
- he loves taylor swift. AND I KNOW WHAT YOURE GONNA SAY. “ITS STEREOTYPICAL” BUT NO U DONT GET IT.. SHE DOESNT MATCH THE REST OF HIS MUSIC TASTE AT ALL. hes the last person you’d ever expect to listen to her. he says its because they have the same last name so hes obligated to be a fan, but also the day Taylor Swift (album) debuted he bought the dvd and forced the other two to listen to the entire thing multiple times on a road trip and its safe to say that since the day taylor swift has existed, lightning and cal have feared her album release dates.
- hes the burnout king. every race he wins he will do a burnout down the frontstretch in front of the grandstands that will take his tires down to the RIMS. the tire marbles are INSANE
THIS IS ALL I HAVE IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY 😭😭 i wish i had more and i WILL eventually make more trust me on that.. but thank you so much for the ask and i hope u liked them :3
#cars 2006#cars fandom#lightning mcqueen#pixar cars#cars headcanons#memory’s headcanons#cars 3 (2017)#bobby swift#cal weathers#i adore bobby with my whole heart i fear#my favourite little guy#like when are we gonna admit he may be the silliest of them all#hes THE life of the party every time
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