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scuttling · 3 years

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Lean on Me

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Gender Neutral Reader Word Count: 4,717 Tags: SFW, Fluff, 5+1 Trope, Obliviousness, Mutual pining, Aaron Hotchner deserves good things, Canon typical injury Summary: Five times you want to kiss the frown off of your boss's face, and one time you actually do it. *Requested by Anon. Link to AO3 or read below! “It doesn’t make sense.”

You stick a tack in a photo of a murdered woman—unfortunately one of many you’ve stuck to this board—and turn to face Hotch, who is looking over your handiwork with a quizzical expression.

“What doesn’t?” He takes a few steps closer, crosses his arms in front of him.

“Why would the unsub leave his comfort zone? The first six abductions occurred within five miles of the college, so why did the seventh and eighth happen almost twelve miles away?” He reaches for the board, traces his finger along the circle Reid had colored in on the map. “We profiled that he’s disorganized and far from confident, so why would he do that?”

He looks over at you, frowns, and not for the first time your gaze is drawn to the little crease between his eyebrows that always forms when he is puzzled, worried, confused, stressed, or otherwise unhappy. In short, it’s there kind of all of the time.

For the first time, though, you think of how easy it would be to lean over, press your lips there, smooth it out, and maybe even get him to smile for a change. He has a great smile, when he lets people see it.

You shake the daydream, rewind back to the question he asked, and wrinkle your nose in thought.

“Maybe his circumstances changed? It's summer now, and there are still classes, but students aren’t living in the dorms. Maybe he moved back home or got an apartment off campus that’s within that area—or a job.” He sighs, runs a hand over the back of his head, nods.

“I don’t know why I didn’t think of that. That’s good. I’ll mention it to the others.” He pulls out his phone, and you grab another photo, another thumbtack, but something stops you and you lay a gentle hand on his arm.

“You don’t have to think of everything, you know. That’s why you have us.” He exhales, his shoulders losing a little of their tension, and that forehead wrinkle gets a little less deep.

“Sometimes I forget that not everything needs to be done the hard way. Or by me.”

“What? You, Aaron Hotchner, doing things the hard way?” you tease, and you are gifted a glimpse of his rare, unfiltered smile.

“Okay, enough pointing out my flaws,” he says with a raised eyebrow, though he’s still smiling, and as he looks down to type out a text, you remember to pull back your hand.

“I would never.” He looks up from his phone at that—maybe at the conviction in your voice, which you hadn’t exactly intended—and his expression softens further.

“I know you wouldn’t.” You hold eye contact for a moment, and then turn to finish preparing the board, pinning up another photo of another woman and reminding yourself that they need you to focus on the task at hand. Two weeks later, you knock on Hotch’s office door, a stack of completed consults in your hand. He looks up, that familiar notch in between his brows, a scowl on his face; when he sees that it’s you, he tones it down a little.

“Draw the short straw?” he asks, and you figure that’s because everyone knows he is in a bad mood and they’ve been avoiding this office all day. You shrug.

“It was rock, paper, scissors, but yes.” He huffs a short laugh, and you smile, step toward his desk. “Anything I can do to lighten the load?”

“Technically you’re adding to it,” he says with a glance at the files in your hand, and you set them on one of the chairs with a purposefully loud thump and then take the other seat.

“Technically. But technically, you only need to review my consults; I can review theirs. Right?” He mulls it over a moment, like the thought never crossed his mind—of course Aaron I have to do everything myself Hotchner would never suggest such a thing, even as the team sits in the bullpen with nothing to do, seeing who can throw M&Ms into Spencer’s mouth from the furthest distance.

“Technically,” he agrees, and you pluck a pen out of his pen cup and take the first file off the pile, open it in front of yourself, careful not to cut into the workspace he’s occupying. You both smile softly down at your work, and you actively do not think about that wrinkle between his eyebrows.

About an hour later, he reaches for his mug out of habit but finds it empty; you stand, take it in your hand, and he makes a noise of protest.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I know,” you say, and you walk toward the door. “I need some too. I’ll be right back.”

You pass through the bullpen—apparently the M&M contest led to a sugar crash, because Spencer is laying with his head on his desk—and grab your cup off your desk, take both to the break room to fill them.

Derek appears next to you as you’re stirring your sugar in.

“Coffee date with the boss?” he asks with a curious expression, and you shake your head.

“Of course not. I’m helping him with the overwhelming amount of paperwork on his desk so his mood improves, instead of just ignoring him.” You raise an eyebrow in challenge, and Derek scratches the back of his head.

“Never thought of that,” he admits, and you pat him on the arm and take your coffees back upstairs.

Hotch looks up at you as you set his mug down, says a soft thank you, and you grab the pile of files you brought up, separate them, and head back downstairs.

“You review mine,” you say to Derek, handing him a stack, “Emily take Spencer’s, Spencer take Derek’s, I’ll take Emily’s.” They look at you like they have no idea what to say, and you just smile, tap the top of Spencer’s head with a folder. “I’ll come back down and grab them in a little bit.”

“Yes, boss,” Emily says, and you grin on your way back upstairs. Hotch is standing when you arrive this time, looking out the window over the bullpen.

“What did you do?” he asks, turning to you, frowning again. You’re so close that kissing that wrinkle would be effortless. All you’d have to do is lean in.

You smile.

“I delegated, Hotch. You should try it some time.” You put your hands on his arms and guide him back to his desk. “Now what can I help you with?”

By the end of the day, his desk is clean and his bad mood is long gone. He closes the last of his files, sighs deeply, covers your hand with one of his, and says thank you.

The next morning when you come in, there is a steaming latte and a cookie on your desk, and you can’t stop smiling the rest of the day. Your next case is draining, children abducted and left for dead, and everyone is on edge, but no one more than Hotch. You’re fairly certain his face hasn’t relaxed since the initial briefing, and he’d be a prime candidate for the old ‘your face will get stuck like that’ joke, if anyone was up to joking.

The team catches the unsub, saves one child, but not until after three are dead; you take a late flight home because no one wants to stay another night in a town it feels like you’ve failed, and everyone curls up to get some rest except you and Hotch.

You try to read the book you brought along—a science fiction dystopian novel, something to get you out of your head and away from real life problems—but you’re a little distracted by Hotch’s sighing. It’s become an every-five-minutes thing, and while you’re definitely on board with sighing as a way to decompress, he’s not decompressing. He looks like he’s in pain mentally, exhausted physically; you’re not sure how everyone else was able to ignore it and go to sleep, but then you figure everyone else may not be as in tune with him as you are. As observant.

As in love.

Not that that matters: you know your issues, and some of his issues, and there’s the whole superior/subordinate thing which doesn’t really do anything for you except give you a stomach ache. It would never work out, even if he somehow, miraculously, were to love you back—and that’s a pretty big if in and of itself.

But still, you notice him, can’t help it, and the sighing is getting to be a little much. You sigh yourself, put your finger in between the pages of your book, and walk over to take the seat next to him; he looks over at you, frowning just like always, and you carefully close his file and set it aside.

Neither of you say anything to the other, just look each other over for a moment, and then you lean lightly against his shoulder and flip back to the beginning of your book.

“I still dream of the island. I sometimes approach it across water, but more often through air, like a bird, with a great wind under my wings. The shores rise rain-coloured on the horizon of sleep, and in their quiet circle the buildings: the houses grown along the canals, the workshops of inkmasters, the low-ceilinged taverns.”

You keep your voice low and soothing, and you are just turning to page fifteen when you feel the weight of his head drop onto your shoulder.

The crease between his eyes melts away in sleep.

You read until you make it home, and you wake him up with a gentle nudge before the rest of the team drifts back to consciousness. He looks at you, blinks slowly like he’s trying to remember where he is, and then gets a little sheepish when he puts two and two together, realizes he fell asleep on your shoulder.

You just shake your head, give his arm a squeeze, and head back to your seat to gather your things. You, Hotch, and Emily are catching the elevator to the parking garage—after staying two hours later to work on some rush consults straight from Strauss—when he looks at something on his phone that makes him groan aloud. You and Emily share a look, and you ask what’s wrong.

“I just remembered I’m supposed to have a treat for Jack to take to school tomorrow and it’s, what, seven thirty?”

“So just stop at the supermarket on your way home; no one can tell the difference anyway,” Emily says, but you and Hotch both shoot her a skeptical glance.

“It’s all about the treats at a school like Jack’s,” you supply, and Hotch looks over at you like he’s surprised by your comment. “If they’re not homemade, the parents talk. Plus there’s probably an allergen list a mile long: no nuts, no eggs, no soy, no dairy. You have to pick him up from Haley’s tonight, right?” You’re pretty sure, but when he nods he confirms it. “So pick him up, go home and get some dinner, put him to bed, and I’ll text you when I’m on my way over with the goods. I have a great recipe for vegan apple cinnamon muffins that will go over really well.”

“You really don’t have to do that; I’ll figure something out,” he says, but you just shake your head and pull up the recipe on your phone.

“Forget it, it’s already done. I have everything I need at home already; let me help,” you murmur softly, and when he looks at you with the furrowed brow that comes with accepting kindness from someone else, you almost forget it’s not just the two of you in the elevator. It’s only when Emily clears her throat that the eye contact breaks. He nods.

“Okay. Thank you; I owe you.”

“You don’t owe me anything.” The elevator dings and it stops at the parking garage; the three of you get off and head in separate directions for your cars. “I’ll text you.”

“Goodnight,” Emily says with a grin, and you wave at her, hop into your car, and head for home.

About two hours later, you show up at Hotch’s door with two dozen apple cinnamon muffins, and unbleached, whole wheat flour in your hair, and he has coffee brewing, a smile on his face.

“You don’t know how grateful I am,” he says as he ushers you into the kitchen, takes the boxes of muffins from your hands, and pours you a cup of dark, delicious coffee. You sip it slowly, savoring the taste—you should have known he’d have incredible coffee—even though it’s far too late for you to be indulging. Unless you’re working a case, you usually switch to decaf by three.

“I know you are. I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t think you’d appreciate the gesture.” You lean forward, open a box, and pull out two muffins, handing one to him. “I made a couple extra so we could taste test; if I accidentally put salt in instead of sugar, you’re on your own,” you joke, and you wait for him to taste it before taking your own bite.

“That’s delicious. There’s really nothing unapproved in here?” he asks, and you shake your head.

“Nope, it’s all healthy and allergen free, except for the flour, but that wasn’t on the list you sent.” He reaches a hand toward you, and you don’t realize, at first, that he’s brushing the flour out of your hair.

“Messy baker,” he teases, and your heart feels really full, being in his kitchen like this, warm muffins and fresh coffee, even if your hair is a mess. You smile, and he smiles back before dropping into that serious expression, eyebrow wrinkle and all. You think about brushing your lips there tonight, but this feels like two steps forward, and you don’t want to risk taking that step back. “Next time I’ll help you.”

“Oh, next time? You plan on needing my baking expertise again? Fair warning, this is the only recipe I know, so I hope you like apple cinnamon muffins.” You take a sip of your coffee, look up at him, and he takes another bite, nods his head.

“I do. Especially these.”

In a perfect world, what comes next would be a cinnamony, coffee flavored kiss, but the world’s not perfect, and you yawn instead. You look down at your mug like it’s betrayed you, and Hotch chuckles low.

“It’s decaf. I know you usually stop in the afternoon; I wouldn’t forgive myself if you were up all night because of me.” You have always been a person who falls in love with all the little details about someone, so the fact that he’s noticed this, remembers this, makes your heart beat a little faster. “I should let you go. You’ve done so much today, between staying late and baking for Jack—for me. You need to get some sleep.”

He’s right, it’s nearly ten, and you should be getting back home, but this is a moment you never want to end.

You just nod, though, and he reaches out to brush his hand over your back when he walks you to the door.

“Thank you again. I really appreciate that you did this for me,” he says, soft, like he still can’t imagine you would.

“You’re welcome, Hotch. Any time, really; I’m happy to help.”

You get home, clean your kitchen, and have a very late dinner, and the smell of good coffee and apples and cinnamon is still in your nose when you drift to sleep. “You didn’t hear what he said,” Hotch snaps almost a month later, with one hand splayed on his hip and the other on the table in front of him. The moment you saw him engaged in an argument with a member of the Sheriff’s department, fire in his eyes, you’d grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into a small conference room, shutting the door behind you. It took almost three minutes of staring at each other for him to say something instead of just glaring at you for interrupting the pissing contest.

“I don’t need to know what he said. I know you, and I know you handle people like that with a quick, sharp remark and then you wash your hands of it. You don’t argue back and forth, you don’t draw it out. You would have regretted it if you did that today, so I stopped you.”

“You think you know me so well, do you?” he asks in an unkind tone of voice you can’t identify, haven’t heard from him before; the expression on his face is familiar, though, a scowl that only puts emphasis on his handsome features—it’s unfair, really.

You exhale, cross your arms.

“Yes, and I know you well enough to know you’re irritated with him, not me, so cut the shit.”

It’s the first time you’ve ever been quite that direct with him, and certainly the first time you’ve ever sworn at him; your immediate instinct is to apologize, but he surprises you by huffing a laugh. The angry lines of his face smooth into something softer.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. He just—I can’t stand people like that.” He scrubs a hand through his hair in irritation. “We’re here to work—to do a job they couldn’t finish on their own. Not to be… objectified.” He mutters the last word, so low you almost don’t hear it, and then there’s a knock at the door. Derek enters.

“Sheriff wants a word, Hotch; do you have a sec?” With one last look at you, he nods, brushes past him to leave the room. Derek gives you the barest hint of a smile. “He was defending your honor, you know.”

You frown. You didn’t know.

“That jerk was talking about me?” you ask, clarifying, and he nods.

“Something about assuming you’re an athlete because he likes your ass. Set the boss man off.” You walk over to him and leave the room together, heading back to your workspace.

“Well Hotch is right, we’re here to work, not to be objectified. I can see how he would get angry.” Derek shoots you a flat, questioning glance.

“You think he’d be getting that worked up if it was my ass that guy was talking about? Or Emily’s?” The two of you stop outside the conference room, and you cross your arms, lean against the doorframe, frown.

“So what are you trying to say? That he sees me as being weak, thinks he needs to defend me? I'm as capable as either of you.” That may not be strictly true, because you’re a little more brains than brawn, like Spencer in that way, but you can hold your own and you thought Hotch knew that.

Derek just laughs, shakes his head, and ducks into the room. You follow, so confused.

“I thought you were just playing it close to the vest, but you’re oblivious, aren’t you?”

“Oblivious about what?” Emily asks, pen between her teeth, feet kicked up onto a chair, and you shrug.

“I’m still not sure. Hotch got into an argument with a deputy about me, and I asked Derek if Hotch thinks I’m weak and that’s why he felt like he had to defend me.” She smiles broadly around the pen, pulls it out of her mouth with a grin.

“Oh, honey. That’s not it. You know that’s not it, right?”

“I clearly don’t know what’s going on at all, so no, if you’d care to enlighten me,” you say, sinking into an empty chair. “I hate it when you guys are cryptic.” You love your team, but they have a habit of doing this all the time, saying things to each other with their eyes, or just a few words that don’t have any sensible meaning that you know of. It’s like they live to talk over your head, to say things without actually saying them.

“Okay. Hotch has a thing for you,” Emily says simply, and you blink.

Well that’s the very last thing you’d expected to hear.

“He absolutely does not.” You look at Derek, who’s making a face like you’re the one being crazy; you laugh out loud, can’t help it. “He does not. I’m pretty sure Hotch doesn’t have things, and if he did, he wouldn’t have a thing for me.”

“Why not? Because that would be too convenient, since you have a thing for him too?” Derek asks, taking the seat across from you, and you grab the nearest case file, flip it open and focus your attention on it.

“I care about him, the same way I care about all of you, and he maybe needs a little more care—but you guys are reading into things.”

Thankfully, you don’t have to say anything more, because Hotch, JJ, and Spencer return, and you all have a lead to work.

You can’t help but wonder if you’re being obvious about your feelings, though, especially later, when you get back to the hotel and the group decides to have a drink at the bar.

JJ and Emily hit the pool table while Derek and Spencer head up for drinks, and you are left sitting with Hotch at the table, pressed together in the inside corner of a booth.

“Tired?” you ask him, because he does look worn out, his tie a bit loose, his eyes a little red. You know he doesn’t get much sleep when you travel, and you can’t imagine he’ll go to bed even when this little detour is over.

“Always,” he sighs, but when he looks over at you, he smiles, just a little. “Just can’t wait to get out of this town.”

“Yeah, it gives Southern hospitality a whole new meaning, doesn’t it?” The people you’ve interviewed today are, on paper, quite respectable, but there’s a Desperate Housewives, ‘everyone is sleeping with someone else's spouse’ kind of thing going on, and it’s honestly exhausting. To your surprise, Hotch laughs.

“It really does. I don’t think I’ve ever missed the quiet solitude of my apartment quite this much.” You lean back against the vinyl of the booth, sigh.

“I miss my apartment, but it’s been too quiet lately. I prefer the sounds of someone else sharing space with me: the coffee maker percolating, the news in the background, the shower running, the sound of flipping the pages of a book or magazine.” You look down at your hands, because you’re getting a little more emotional than you usually let other people see. “Sorry. I’m not typically this open about being…”

You trail off, but Hotch looks over at you, concerned, the wrinkle between his eyebrows even more noticeable when you’re sitting this close. You think, just briefly, of running your thumb over it, but with your luck, Derek or Emily would see, and you’d never live it down.

“Lonely?” he finishes softly, and when you nod your head, he covers your hands with one of his own, bumps his shoulder against yours. “I get lonely too. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” You look up at him, feeling a little vulnerable, and his expression softens. “When we get back, maybe you could come over for dinner some night. Nothing fancy,” he clarifies, and you smile, “just two lonely people being a little less lonely.”

“That would be really nice.” You can see Derek and Spencer approaching out of the corner of your eye, and Hotch must too, because he removes his hand, slips back into the slight, persistent frown you have come to know and love. Derek looks at you, raises an eyebrow, and hands you your beer. You try to tell him to shut up with your face, plan to follow up later to see if that actually worked. “We have an agent down on the second floor,” Spencer says into his comms, and you immediately want to slap him in the back of the head.

“Don’t say agent down, kid; I’m like, slightly wounded at best.” You hold a hand against the stab wound on your side—the unsub honestly just grazed you, and you’d knocked him out with a single punch, which made you feel pretty awesome—and reach out the other so he can help pull you to your feet. Your hand comes up to your own walkie button. “I’m not down, I’m fine—just slightly stabbed,” you add, and Spencer is getting his cuffs on the unsub when Hotch and JJ burst through the doors.

Well, Hotch bursts. JJ follows behind looking strangely winded for one of the most naturally athletic people you know.

“What happened? Are you alright?” he asks, and you lift your shirt to show him the sluggishly bleeding gash.

“I’m fine, see? It’s not even deep. Spencer saw blood and got a little ahead of himself.” You turn to Spencer, who sticks out his tongue, then back to Hotch, who looks haunted and pale, with that goddamn wrinkle between his eyebrows again. He’s bent down, looking over your wound seriously—you’ve had worse, so much worse, that you don’t understand why he’s so worried about it—and then he leans up, presses a hand to your cheek, and pulls you close for a soft, tender kiss.

If this were a movie, right about now a camera would be panning around you in a circle, as you wrap your free hand around his neck, pull him closer, melt against his body like it’s all you’ve been dreaming of for months, and the two of you would break apart smiling, maybe even kiss again.

It’s not a movie, though, so you just bleed out against your hand and freeze, because Hotch is kissing you at a crime scene and you almost got filleted, so you’re not sure if this is a you got hurt, so I’d better kiss you kiss or an I’ve been wanting to kiss you forever, and you got hurt so I have to kiss you kiss.

When he breaks the kiss, you’re both breathing a bit heavily, and you don’t know what to do, so you just lean in and press your lips to that wrinkle between his eyebrows that you’ve been thinking about so frequently since the first time you noticed it. You brush a hand through his hair, and when you pull back, he’s smiling.

“What was that?” He covers your hand on your side with his own and helps get you toward the elevator so you can be patched up by the EMTs; JJ and Spencer are left staring, open-mouthed in your wake, with an unconscious unsub at their feet, but neither of you are concerned about that.

“I’ve been thinking of doing that for months now: to kiss that spot between your eyes so you’ll stop frowning for a change. Since I couldn’t, I decided to find other ways to help you stop frowning so much. It kind of became my life’s mission.” He sighs, puts his arm around you and holds you close while you wait for the elevator to bring you to the ground floor.

“I stop frowning when you’re around because you’re around, not just because of the things you do for me,” he tells you, and he presses his lips to yours for another warm, soft, perfect kiss. “I’ve been thinking of doing that for months now.” You tilt your head, make a sound of contemplation, and he chuckles softly. “What is it?”

“I think those cryptic idiots we work with might be onto something,” you say with a grin, and when the elevator lets you off and Hotch helps you toward the ambulance to be patched up, Derek and Emily are waiting with concerned looks on their faces. They must be pretty confused to see you’re grinning from ear to ear. “Hey, you guys were right; Hotch does have a thing for me!” you call as you walk past them, and when your wound is properly dressed and wrapped, you put your arms around his neck and let him kiss you until the frown and accompanying wrinkle are nothing but distant memories.

*The novel excerpt is from The Weaver by Emmi Itäranta.

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#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #ask answered #anon #prompt #aaron hotchner x gn reader #hotch x gn reader #request

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kooksbliss · 4 years

Text

– finishing line || jjk

→ pairing: racer!jungkook x reader

→ genre: strangers to lovers / smut (future) / fluff (future) / street racer au!

→ word count: 6.1k

→ summary: it was a normal, ordinary night out with your best friend, or so you thought. that was before she invited you to a street race, to which you caved into and went. there you met the oh so famous, jeon jungkook.

→ warnings: hoseok makes an appearance / explicit language / mutual pinning / jungkook makes oc a hot, shy mess / pet names / teasing / this chapter is pretty sfw

a/n: hi hi hi! hope everyone is having an amazing day <3 this will be more than one part but i don’t think this will be a very long series (i’m thinking around five chapters max) leave me suggestions or any ideas you would like me to write in my ask box! i’m down to do drabbles anytime, hope you all enjoy part one!!

— posted 04.15.2020

masterlist new masterlists | 01 | sneak peek of part 02 |

You were tired; no, you were drained. Working black friday was no easy task, especially when you work in retail. You stretched your arms as you exited the employee break room after a long awaited break. Once you got back to the sales floor you went up to the cash register to clock back in from your break that’s when you heard someone scoff beside you.

“It’s about time.” Hyuna stated.

Hyuna is a co-worker of yours that well, happens to hate you for no reason, no reason you're aware of. She had been working with the company a little over a year before you got employed over the summer and ironically was placed to be your supervisor, meaning you had to be nice to her if you wanted to keep your job.

“Sorry, Jaehyun needed some help with the stock.” You said as you punched your employee number into the system.

Jaehyun was also a supervisor but for the men’s department, he has been a close friend of yours since you started working here and knows about how Hyuna tends to treat you, unfortunately there's not much any of the two of you can do about it.

“Well next time come straight out, Jaehyun is a big boy he can take care of himself. Now if you’ll excuse me I’ll be going on my break.” She said as she walked past you making sure to hit your right shoulder in the process. You looked up at the clock, thirty more minutes just thirty more minutes, you had been working for who knows how long and your feet had been begging for a rest.

Luckily since it was five in the morning there weren't too many people left in the store, but one thing you did know was that your sleeping schedule is fucked after tonight. Suddenly the chime sound from the bell that hung above the door rang out, you looked away from the clock about to greet the person who walked in, well that was until you saw who it was - to which you responded with a roll of your eyes.

“Come on don’t give me that look, y/n! You know you love me~”

“Jennie left about an hour ago, Hoseok.”

Jennie is your best friend, you two have been friends since middle school and once her family moved next door, there was no separating the two of you. When you both graduated high school you both thought that it would be good for the both of you to have a change of scenery from the small town you lived in, that’s when you made the comment of moving out into the city, which Jennie happily agreed to.

Jennie is from a wealthier family compared to your own she could afford going to university straight out of high school you on the other hand, didn’t have the financial support so you got this job and plan to work for another year or two before deciding on whether or not you are financially well off to go to university. She decided to move into an on-campus dorm while you found a decently well priced house, that was near your workplace and not too far from everything else, it’s been a year since you two decided to move into the city and you have loved every second of it, life was good.

“Actually I’m here for you, Jennie felt bad not being able to take you home after your shift so she asked me if I could.” Hoseok said as he walked to the side opposite of you at the checkout table.

Hoseok is Jennie’s boyfriend, they’ve been together for about eight months now and met in one of her classes freshman year. You're so glad she met him, you've never seen her happier and you know he’s good for her. As for you not being able to drive, well - a month ago some dickhead rear ended you and you’ve been waiting to see how much his insurance will cover, so you’ve been taking the bus a lot and thankfully your friends - well Jennie, has been taking you to work which is really the only place you go to outside of your house.

“Oh, okay. Thanks Hoseok, you didn’t have to.” You said feeling bad about him having to be up at five am to take you home.

“It’s no problem, y/n! You know I’m someone you can count on.” Hoseok said as he walked around the store. “You still have thirty mintues right?”

“Yeah, sorry for making you wait.”

“Y/n. I already said it wasn't a problem. Anyways I wanted to start my Christmas shopping early.”

As you were about to respond a lady came to the cash register.

Your shift was finally over, you clocked out and grabbed your coat from the back thankfully you didn't run into Hyuna, which is a win in your book. You caught up with Hoseok, who was waiting for you near the entrance.

“You ready?” Hoseok asked as he looked up from his phone.

“Yep!” You exclaimed as you two left the store, looking down at his hands you noticed that he did in fact buy some things.

Walking across the parking lot you held your coat closer to your body, the crisp November air was chilly especially in the morning. “Thank you again Hoseok.”

“Of course, y/n. Do you want anything before we head back?”

You were hungry but, you were just too tired to put that before your sleep. “No, that’s okay I’m super tired from tonight.” Hoseok just nodded as you two reached his car, he clicked the door open and the two of you got in. It felt really nice to sit down, your legs were aching and you wanted nothing more than to lay in your bed and sleep the rest of the day away.

The ride to your house was nice the two of you caught up and made small talk, soon you were arriving at your house. “Well, thanks for the ride! Be sure to have a safe drive back home.”

“Of course y/n, I’ll be sure to text Jennie to tell her you made it back home safely and that I didn’t kill you.” He joked. You smiled back as you wished him a good night - well morning. Unlocking the door to your house you quickly took your shoes off and entered your bathroom where you took a quick shower, changing into your sweats and t-shirt entering your bedroom. Charging your phone you placed it on your bedside table as you laid down, sleep slowly consuming your thoughts.

Feeling the sunlight pour into your bedroom you slowly began to wake up. Sitting up you stretch your arms up into the air and reach over to check your phone as the time reads “3:00”. You moan and groan but finally got up to do something productive for the rest of the Friday you had left. You were looking forward to the relaxing weekend you had planned ahead since you got a bit of a break from work as you didn’t have to go until Monday.

Doing your typical morning routine you went to the kitchen to make an omelet, grabbing your phone off the counter you put your music on shuffle and started making your dish while dancing and singing along to the song.

Once you were done cooking you gave yourself a pat-on-the-back for not burning the house down. Pouring yourself a glass of juice while sitting down on the barstool you started eating your meal while scrolling down your feed liking some memes.

Ping.

You then got a message from Jennie.

You did say you wanted to be productive but really, now all you wanted to do is binge watch your show and wait for your outing with jennie.

Looking at your phone the time read “6:23” you finished the last few minutes of your show and turned off your tv and went to get ready. After you had dressed casually in booties, jeans, sweater, coat and your purse you topped your look off with light makeup. Opening the the bus app you see when the next bus would be coming and headed towards the stop near your house.

The sun was already setting making you feel uneasy, you weren’t normally out at this time in the dark and definitely not alone. You sped up and felt your nerves calm once you reached the crowded area of the city.

Waiting for the bus you sat on the bench and got your phone out of your pocket to check where the bus was, saying it was three minutes away.

Once the bus stopped, you got on, paid the amount and walked towards the back and sat down waiting for the stop that was closest to the restaurant.

You arrived at the restaurant after walking about ten minutes from where the bus had left you at. You called Jennie to ask if she was already there since it was 7:15. She said that she got caught up in traffic and would be there soon and to go ahead and get a table.

You went inside feeling your once cold cheeks warm up with the heat of the atmosphere, sounds filled your ears and the restaurant's signature dish scent reached your nose. It was busy as usual, you walked up to the main table to get a table for two, the hostess seated you in a booth towards the back.

“WHAT?” You shouted in the middle of the restaurant causing many bystanders to give you the side eye. “Shush! Lower your voice, y/n!” Jennie whispered loudly.

Jennie had arrived around thirty minutes ago and the two of you had been chatting it up and she suddenly dropped a huge bomb on you.

“...Wait, so Hoseok is a-”

“A street racer, yeah.” She started, “I know it sounds totally crazy and I know how you steer away from those sorts of things but, you know he’s a good guy a-and it’s been killing me not telling you.”

You stayed silent, never did you ever think that Hoseok was a racer and your mind was still trying to comprehend everything your friend was telling you.

“And the reason why I’m telling you is because - now y/n don’t freak out or close yourself out but,” biting her bottom lip she continued, “ I wanted you to go to one of the races with me. It’s been killing me having this secret from you, and that’s only if you want to go! I’m not trying to force you either...”

You were not expecting this at all. Your friend was dating a street racer… and now she’s inviting you to one of their very much illegal races. What should you say? You want to say no you really do, it’s not your scene, plus you really just wanted to relax this weekend.

“When is it?” You finally spoke after a good minute of silence.

“Tomorrow night.” Jennie responded, “Y/n, I just wanted to tell you about Hoseok, and he told me I should ask you if you wanted to go with us. You don’t have to say yes, and there's many more races anyways if you do decide to want to come to one.”

You thought about what she said, and were happy that they would even think to invite you. “I’ll - I’ll think about and let you know for tomorrow if that’s alright.”

“Yes of course y/n! Take your time. Anyways did I tell you about what my chemistry professor said yesterday? He totally was like-”

You got lost into your thoughts as you thought about what she said, normally if someone were to ask you to go to a street race you would’ve said no on the spot but for some strange reason you did want to go but you know you shouldn’t.

“Like, that’s just so rude to say and I don’t even understand why he would bring that up in the first place!” Jennie sighed.

The two of you spent the rest of the night gossiping about each of your co-workers as well as the show you were watching, but in the back of your mind you kept thinking about what she said.

Jennie took you back home and you two wished each other goodnight.

Walking into your house you went to your bathroom and did your nighttime routine, changed into some pjs and you promised yourself you were just going to watch two more episodes of your show. Did that happen? No, of course not. What you did however is manage to fall asleep on the couch.

Waking up with an awful cramp in your neck you arose from the couch with a groan. “Gosh I really shouldn’t have slept on the couch.” You spoke to yourself. Today you weren’t feeling up to cook so you just had your favorite cereal and texted Jennie.

Looking down at your phone you sighed. Should you go? A part of you really wants to know about the racing scene and to see. You needed some thrill in your life and maybe this is it, this is your chance.

You may have seemed cool, calm, and collected over text but in reality you were freaking out. You just agreed you were going to a street race in less than thirteen hours when your previous plans were to binge watch the show you’ve been watching for another season, a lot more tame for what you're now signing yourself onto. But for some reason you did want to go - it's been a long time since you've gone out anywhere else outside of your work.

Your thoughts were racing, maybe it won't be as bad as you think it is, maybe the media just exaggerates what the reality is, maybe it’s actually super lame. You tried to make yourself feel better about your decision but you can’t help the anxious feeling inside your lower stomach.

It’s 9:49 pm and you've been staring at your closet for the last two hours, at least that’s what it felt like - it was really more like ten minutes, but still! What were you supposed to wear to these kind of things?

You supposed wearing black is the most common thing, at least you hoped. You digged into your closet and found a pair of high waisted black joggers with vertical lines on the sides of them, a black halter, some all white sneakers and a large oversized jean jacket. You then went to your bathroom and tried to make yourself somewhat presentable, with some light makeup and styled your hair to your liking.

You checked your phone for the time “10:42” you felt your heart accelerate, you were excited, nervous, and anxious all at once.

One minute soon became two, then three, and soon it was already 11:00. Your nerves were on edge. Suddenly your phone rang and you flew up three feet in the air, with shaky hands you picked up your phone Jennie’s contact lit up the screen and you answered.

“Hey Jennie!” You said trying to sound excited to hide your nerves.

“Hey! I’m outside! Oh, and make sure to bring your ID.”

“O-okay sure thing!” You said as you began to awkwardly laugh. You grabbed your phone and your small wallet that you slipped into the front pocket of your joggers since you didn’t want to take a purse.

Well here goes nothing.

After driving for what seemed like 20 minutes from your house you arrived in a secluded area where there was a pay toll like entrance and a huge line of cars wanting to go in.

“Uh, Jennie? How many people actually come to these things?” You said being genuinely surprised by how many people are lined up behind the entrance.

“Hm. I don’t really know the exact numbers but it varies to who actually races, if they’re a fan favorite, a newbie, stuff like that.”

You supposed that made sense but still you didn’t think that there would be so many people, you’re assuming that Hoseok and his friends are fan favorite racers.

It took 15 minutes from you two to make it to the pay toll.

“IDs?” A deep voice rang out.

Jennie waited for you to get yours out of your wallet and then handed the man both IDs. He checked the two and looked back up at the both of you, then handed Jennie two white bands, as well as the IDs.

“Thank you.” Jennie said as the toll’s gate rose up and drove off,

“This is so exciting! How are you feeling y/n?”

How are you feeling? You really didn’t know, it was a strange feeling that’s for sure.

“Good, just… nervous.” You softly chuckled as you looked down at your hands that you curled on your lap.

“That’s totally understandable, I was too when I came to see the first race. I wanted to be a supportive girlfriend but I actually ended up liking it.” Jennie said as the two of you arrived at a graveled parking lot, there were cars parked everywhere and you could hear the distant sound of people talking and the car's engines.

“Here you’ll need to put this on.” Jennie said as she put the white band on your wrist and you did the same for her.

“Thanks.” You said as the two of you got out of the car.

The cold crisp air nipped at your cheeks as soon as you got out. You hugged the jacket closer to your body and met up with Jennie on the other side of the car.

“Okay! Let’s go!” Jennie said as she looped her arm around yours.

After walking for about four minutes you reached a huge crowd of people, once you two had successfully made it past the crowd you could now see the large narrow street that disappeared into the distance.

Jennie then started walking towards the left where there were a lot less people, and stood two large men in front of a pathway.

“Uh, Jennie?” You said as you cuddled closer to her - what is she doing?

“I’m with Hoseok.” Jennie ignored your questioning and spoke to the men.

“What’s the code?” Said the man on the right. Jennie then whispered what you assumed to be the code to one of the men, they both looked at each other and spread apart making room for the two of you to continue walking on the pathway.

“Uh, what was that about? Where are we even going?” You asked Jennie once you two were a good distance from the men.

“Sorry if that freaked you out, but basically where we are going is like the VIP area for the racers and those are the bodyguards, the racers are the only ones that know the code but they can tell people too, which is why I know it because of Hoseok.” Jennie said as you two approahed two buildings, one was like an open pit stop area for the cars and the other was like a clubhouse - they really take this street racing seriously huh?

“Oh, I see. So do all the racers hang out over here?” You said as you started hearing the sounds of people getting louder and louder.

“Yep! Hoseok is probably in his car now, getting ready for his race against Jungkook.”

Jungkook? That name was unfamiliar to you.

“Who’s Jungkook?” You said a bit confused.

“Oh! That’s right I forget that you don't know him, well you can meet him after the race,” She said pulling her phone out checking the time, “It’s already 12:27? The race starts in three minutes!” Jennie exclaimed and grabbed your arm taking you to the pit stop area.

Entering the pit stop area there were a lot of people inside making the once quiet outdoors loud with excitement. You then noticed that each of the racers had their own separate rooms and the people inside were either the guests or the actual pit crew of the racer, well it’s good to know they actually have proper protection and safety.

The racers had a gold plaque above the open room that they were in, Hoseok’s was the fourth room and you happened to notice that Jungkook’s was right next to Hoseok’s.

“Come on y/n it’s about to start, I’m so excited!!” Jennie pulled your arm onto a couch that was placed in Hoseok’s room. A loud engine sound rang out making you jump up in your seat, it sounded so close you didn’t realise how close you actually were to the street.

The cars were not in your view of distance yet but you could hear just how close they were, then you saw two cars one red and one black stop right in front of the room you were in.

Out of nowhere a very slim, tall girl dressed in basically swimwear and heels holding two flags stood in the middle of the two cars, just seeing what she was dressed in made you shiver. An abrupt voice from an intercom then broke the silence.

“Welcome, welcome ladies and gentlemen, hope everyone is doing well on this cool November night. Tonight’s race is a treat for all of you, we got two of our hottest, favorite racers but I’m sure the lot of you already know that. These two don’t need any sort of introduction, of course I’m talking about Jung Hoseok-” the crowd roared out, cheers and screams rang, you felt your eardrums were going to burst. “And Jeon Jungkook.” If possible you heard the crowd scream even louder.

“Now, let’s get this race started shall we?” The intercomer’s voice faded out and the girl lifted the two flags, “three, two, one!” She said as she lowered the flags.

The two cars then accelerated passed her, you got up from the couch and moved to the opening of the room and saw the two cars faintly in the distance.

“They go super fast don’t they? I think Hoseok said something about going 130 mph.” That actually scared you - the fast you’ve ever gone was like 90.

“Dang, and how long does it take for them to come back?” You said as you looked down at the black and white checkered finish line that was a couple feet away from you.

“Hm, it depends really but it usually takes eight to ten minutes. But in the meantime I like getting some snacks while I wait.” She said turning around to go to the popcorn machine that was next to the couch.

You were still looking towards the distance when you happened to look over to Jungkook’s room, there were at least five girls inside, one of which made eye contact with you and flipped you off, you quickly looked away and met up with Jennie again on the couch.

“So uh, this Jungkook guy? He seems to be a ladies man.” You said while reaching over to steal some of her popcorn.

“Hey! Well yeah, he most definitely is. Why do you ask?” Jennie’s eyes suddenly lit up as she smirked, “Y/n are you trying to get laid? I mean I thought you would be one to wait but I mean Jungkook probably wouldn’t mind fucking a virg-”

“Woah, woah Jennie!” You say as your cheeks and ears start getting red. “N-no well I - well for one I’m not a virgin! And two I asked because when I happened to look over to his room there were a lot of girls but also this one girl gave me her middle finger!” You said in almost a pouty matter.

“Wait, you’re not a virgin? Not that it’s a bad thing if you are but, you never told me that you lost your virginity.” Jennie said a bit surprised and honestly you don’t blame her. Anyone who knows you probably thinks you haven't got a freaky bone in your body. “But as far as the girl who flipped you off - that was probably Lisa for some reason she thinks that her and Jungkook are together when he himself has made it clear that he’s not into her in that way. She even got jealous of me before she found out I was with Hoseok and not Jungkook.”

“Oh, then maybe that’s why she flipped me off, but I don’t even know him. A-and about that I uh, lost it the night of junior prom with my date.” You said looking anywhere but her, for some reason you always get shy talking about sexual things, also you didn’t see the hype around it your first time wasn’t as magical as you thought it would have been and people hyped sex up so much you just thought it would be different, you didn’t even climax!

“Oh well maybe you can tell me about it at a better time-” The sound cars’ engines could be heard again and Jennie jumped up.

“Come on! Let’s see who’s in the lead!” Grabbing your arm the two of you stepped into the open area of the room to where you can see the cars in the distance but on the opposite of which they started. The black car seemed to be the one in the lead but not by much.

In a matter of seconds it seemed, the two cars then passed the finish line, but it was so close that neither you or Jennie could tell who won.

“Well, well, well ladies and gentlemen it seems that this race was indeed a close one, but winning by three seconds more, Jeon Jungkook won tonight’s race. Be sure to stick around to see your favorite racers, that’s all for tonight folks have a good night.” The intercomer wished his goodnights and what was left was the cheers from the crowd.

The sound of the car door opening reverted your attention to the two racers, Hoseok was the first one to come out of the red one, that meant that Jungkook’s was the black one. You and Jennie waved over to Hoseok as he smiled and waved back.

You looked over to the black car once again only to see the girls you saw in the room along with Lisa were swarming him before he even got a chance to get out. Then you heard the car door opening and you felt the world stop.

Jungkook removed his helmet as he flashed a smile and one of the girls, the one you were told was Lisa then wrapped her arms around him. Then you felt your heart in your throat, he looked at you at least you think he looked at you, regardless you blushed and looked away from what seemed to be his stare directed towards you.

Hoseok then came up to Jennie and kissed her, “Honey, that was a close good race, but you did good.” Jennie said with a smile.

“Thank you, baby.” He said as he leaned back down to plant another kiss on her lips. You felt so awkward, it was like you were third wheeling, you just looked at the ground trying not to make eye contact with your best friend’s makeout session.

“Okay, okay we get it lovebirds.” An unfamiliar voice said, causing you to look up.

And there he was. Jungkook was absolutely breathtaking, you never thought that someone could look this good close up. You were so mesmerized that you didn’t realize you were staring.

“Didn’t your parents ever tell you it was rude to stare, sweetheart?” Jungkook said to you to which you didn’t even reply until you felt Jennie’s and Hoseok’s eyes on you too.

“O-oh I’m sorry.” You said looking down, this is why you don’t go out, you just don’t fit in. You were jizzing your pants just looking at the man who doesn’t want anything to do with you, or even knows your name as a matter of fact.

“Aw, sweetie that’s alright. No need to get all shy on me, I don’t bite unless-”

“Jungkooookie!~” Lisa ran up to the group cutting off whatever Jungkook was going to say and hung onto him, “That was such a good race! I knew you would win, no offense Hoseok.”

“Yeah, none take-” Hoseok started but Lisa, you supposed has a habit of cutting people off.

“So Jungkookie, do you want to go out for dinner with me? It can be a celebratory thing, I even have dessert for you whenever we get to your place.” She said as she sent a wink his way. You could only imagine what she meant making your face red with the thought.

“Actually I might have to cancel-” He answered, removing her arms around his torso. “I was thinking about going with Hoseok, Jennie and-” He paused looking to you. “What’s your name sweetheart, I’ve never seen you around here?”

You felt your heart stuck in your throat anytime he would even breathe in your direction, the more seconds passed the more you felt yourself grow hot.

“I-it’s y/n.” You said as you mentally slapped yourself for stuttering. “And uh, it’s my first time to a race.”

Jungkook hummed. “Ah, I see. What a pretty name for such a pretty girl.” He said with such sincerity, looking straight into your eyes. You really thought you were going to faint, was he really saying this to you?

“You're joking. Jungkook, there’s no way you would rather go with them, her, rather than going with me?” He didn’t answer but instead kept staring at you, while you just stared back with wide eyes.

“Jungkook!” He finally tugged his eyes away from you as Lisa exclaimed and pulled onto his arm.

“Actually I think I would, and I will. Maybe another time hm?” Jungkook said as he looked over to Hoseok. “What do you say? Want to treat me to a celebratory dinner, loser.” He said in a joking matter directed to Hoseok.

“Since you won and I’m such a good friend, I’ll treat you for tonight.” Hoseok said.

“Great-” Jungkook started, “You’re coming right y/n?”

“O-oh I don’t - it’s late a-and-”

“She’d love to, Jungkook.” Jennie jumped in, you gave her “the look” to which she ignored. “What? Come on, you were taking some of my popcorn earlier, surely you're hungry.”

She was right you were hungry but just thinking about being in a room with Jungkook made you already want to die in a hole from embarrassment, you don't even know the guy and he has such an impact on you.

“Fine, fine. I’ll go too.” You said still looking at Jennie missing the way Jungkook’s eyes lit up.

“Uh, what about me Jungkookie? I thoug-” Lisa started,

“Actually Lisa, can we have a rain check? I want to spend some time with my friends.”

“Ugh, whatever. You know where to find me when reality hits you.” Lisa said looking at you as she rolled her eyes and walked away with a huff.

“Sounds good, let’s all meet at the restaurant. Jungkook you drove here right?” Jennie asked.

“I did, I drove Hoseok here as well.” Jungkook answered.

“Hm, well Hoseok can come with me and, y/n, why don’t you go with Jungkook?”

Your eyes almost just shot out of your eyes, was she serious? You’d rather go with them and feel like a third-wheel rather than go in a vehicle alone, with him. You could already see it, you making a fool of yourself.

You felt everyone’s eyes on you as they awaited your response. But you didn’t want to be rude and it’s just a 20 minute car ride, it won’t be that bad, at least you hoped.

“Uh, yeah sure, if he doesn’t mind.” You said looking over to him only finding him already looking at you. You felt your heart rate increase, something about how he looks at you makes you feel strange, and you couldn’t tell if that was a good or bad thing.

“Of course I don’t mind babygirl.” He saids with a slight smirk walking towards you whereas you felt yourself heat up with the pet name. “Now, shall we?”

The walk to Jungkook’s car was short and quiet, maybe he came to the earth revolving revelation that you really weren’t that special and that he’s wasting his time. Being captivated in your thoughts you didn’t even notice that Jungkook, who was beside you, stopped walking.

“Woah, woah babygirl, are you already trying to escape?” Jungkook said with a chuckle.

“Huh?” You turned around with a confused expression painted onto your face. You then noticed that he stopped at a parked car with keys in his hands. “W-well how was I supposed to know this was your car!” You said walk towards his car.

Jungkook put his hands up against his chest as a surrender, “Yes, you’re right, my fault.” Walking to the other side of the car you open the door still very nervous due to the fact that you’re about to be in a confined space with him.

Whipping around to put your seatbelt on, you felt your phone vibrate, causing you to accidentally drop it in the cup holder between the two of you. Reaching over to get your phone, Jungkook did the same thing causing the two of you to rub your hands against each other. “S-sorry.” You said as you pulled your hand away, still feeling his hand lingering next to yours, it’s almost scary how your body reacts towards him. Man you really needed to get laid again.

“No worries it is your phone after all.” Jungkook said as he held your phone up, he didn’t mean to look down at your phone but he just happened to, “Hm, who’s Kyle?” Kyle… Kyle??! Why is he messaging you, you grabbed the phone out of his hand and looked down at the message. Just a simple “Hey” was displayed on your screen, why is he messaging you after all these years?

“Oh, he’s nobody just someone I went to high school prom with, I really don’t know why he’s messaging me.” You said as you looked down confused at your phone, but decided not to respond.

“So do you know where we’re going?” Jungkook rang out, “Oh! Not yet but let me text Jennie.” You responded. As you waited for her response you felt this awkward tension as you looked at the plain grassy field in front of you. “So, uh Jungkook?” You said turning to look towards him, “What got you into racing?”

“Hm, we haven’t even gone out and you’re already asking for my life’s story?” You suddenly felt super invasive, “Sorry I didn’t mean to seem nosy.” You said as you look away, staring back towards the field. You felt cold fingertips graze the side of your right cheek as Jungkook turned you to look towards him. “You didn’t babygirl, I just- don’t really like to talk about it.” He said as he stares at you, you begin to blush, surely he could feel it as his hands are gripping your face. You felt electric, you never met someone that had such an effect on you and you didn’t really know why. You knew you really have, but you just couldn’t resist as your eyes moved down from his eyes and onto his lips, he must have seen this as he then began to move towards you.

“J-jungkook…” He stops moving and just stares into you, removing his hands away. Jungkook cleared his throat looking straight on as you stayed in the same position, shocked. You almost just kissed a man you didn’t even know, it’s strange - you don’t even know him yet it feels so right being with him. Maybe it was only you that felt this way but you could have sworn you could see a rosy hue on his cheeks.

Ping.

You felt your phone vibrate as you got another message, this time from Jennie.

You choked on your own spit as you read the message in your head, you were going to kill her.

“Woah, what’s wrong are you okay?” Jungkook said as he looked over to you, “Y-yeah uh, Jennie said that something came up so it’s just us two, y-you can just drop me off if you like. We don’t have to do anything-”

“Y/n. It’s fine, I don’t mind, really.” He said as he put the car in reverse, “Now, let’s go get something to eat babygirl.”

taglist: @krystle1990, @lurkerarmy, @olivialovemason88 @eclivpses @hinawariinoue97 @chimshoe95 — (let me know if you would like to be added!)

#bts smut #bts fanfic #bts ff #racer au #strangers to lovers #jungkook smut #racer jungkook #jungkook ff #jeon jungkook #bts #jungkook #bts series #jungkook series #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #bangtan smut #kooksbliss

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helpinghanikan · 4 years

Text

Public Enemy

X-men x Reader

Sum: Powers don’t always obey their masters. Sometimes they have their own minds, making problems and causing destruction that you’re left to deal with. When that happens, you’re going to need some help finding a sanctuary.

an: It’s not specified what Reader’s power is but I was thinking force-fields. I just think Force-field powers are neat.

Charles Xavier:

Charles’s office, specifically the couch, has been your home for some time. Although it has only been a few days, two at most, but it felt like years. Hours spent sitting specifically in the couch’s corner where anyone entering wouldn’t notice you right away. Reading and taking your place as secretary more seriously makes time move in a slower fashion.

“Would you grab that book for me?” Charles asks, slapping you out of whatever deep thought you were currently drowning in.

At first these little tasks he asks you to do seem to come randomly. As if he just remembered you were there and felt bad. In reality he’s probably been in the outer layer of your mind for longer then you’ve been in the office.

Ignoring these facts, you focused on your work. It had spread quickly through the school that you were open and able to grade anyone’s homework or papers. Like the rest of your current life, these were taken care in Charles’s office. A place you’ve been bent over for hours until a phone call held your attention.

Charles is a pretty decent liar. Between his history with authority and with children, he speaks with enough confidence that it’s not worth thinking about. Obviously he still had his tells, even if the person he was lying wasn’t in front of him, he still looked down and go quiet for a second.

“No, I’m afraid we haven’t heard from her.” When he starts his lie, his tells are typically gone. “Yes, we will absolutely contact you if she comes here. And, in the event of that happening, I ask that consider our relationship before deciding anything.”

You don’t say anything when he hangs up. Instead deciding that to grab that book before he asks you to.

Erik Lehnsherr:

Erik was nice enough not to say or ask anything at first. Your few items in a bag, and all your savings spent on bribing a boat captain to take you here. All this was written on your face, practically screaming that you don’t want to talk about it.

“Is anyone going to be coming?” was the only thing he asked.

Instead of a verbal answer you shrugged with a shake of your head. Maybe…

Erik uses the excuse of an escort to keep a hand on your back, around your shoulders. Even gently on the back of your neck to ask his question in a whisper. Although Genosha was supposedly a sanctuary to all mutants, you were still an outsider. An outsider who had, not only, caused destruction but just might bring down the anger of the world onto them.

“You came here quickly, then.” Erik says, in leadership mode. Sitting across from you, elbows on his knees, looking almost into you.

“You guys aren’t exactly hiding,” It wasn’t a good joke but still you blow air out of your nose, trying to force a tiny laugh.

“Then why come here to hide?” He asks.

When the answer you give is another shrug (I don’t know…) he sighs. Standing and returning with a hot cup of beverage. A kettle had either been set before he stepped out to greet you, or one was constantly kept a little warm. Either way it was somewhere between tea and coffee, but definitely not both.

“What did you do?” he asks.

It took some time to tell the entire story. Skipping too many details about the fear and anger that all came at you at once. Erik has heard it all before in much worse amounts. Only admitting that you were wanted, so many were hurt or completely destroyed by a lapse of control.

He doesn’t interrupt or ask any other questions. He just listens and keeps an ear out for helicopters.

Raven/ Mystique:

At some point you were taken to the hospital with the other survivors. The journey was hard to remember; being placed on a bed and tossed around in the back of an ambulance. Pretending to be just as out of it as the others, really just avoiding eye contact with the paramedics.

It’s nice to think that you had a plan for when you got to the hospital, and you kinda did. With all the people coming in at once there was the chance you’d be left in the hallway or an open area to wait for a bed. In the event of that happening you could just roll over and walk out. Just walk with confidence and make it out the door.

That you were now restrained in a bed in your own room meant that plan was out the window. Laying back and letting the nurses check you out with shaking hands. Just enough to check you over but not enough to pretend to be doing their job.

“It’s fine,” The nurse says, practically slamming the room door shut behind him. It wasn’t a thick door; you could still hear through it. “Please don’t make me go near it again.” He says to someone in the hallway, probably a doctor or some other superior.

It isn’t until their talking has mostly stopped that you bother trying to escape. Your restraints were soft but also tight, something that you couldn’t slide out of easily. Rocking the bed, trying to tip it over, would just leave you dangling off the side. Still strapped in but with bruises and staring at the floor.

While thinking of another dashing escape plan the door opens again. A nurse steps and gently closes the door behind her. This one was a woman nurse, so far you’ve only been dealing with males. It was likely because of the threat you posed that it had only been men. Specifically, the biggest nurses and orderlies that were available.

Because of this you watch the woman as she walks over. She was a small woman with brown hair in a bob cut, the white uniform and a smile she held while pulling the curtain around. You were smart enough not to say anything until she did. Or until she shifts entirely from white uniform into blue skin, immediately pulling at your restraints.

“Hey, Hi. Babe, I’m sorry…” You have a million things to say at once.

All the words fighting to be the first to be said. All ignored by your girl, who just places a gentle hand over your mouth and whispers a shhh. Going back to the restraints and whispering:

“Don’t say anything,” She says, opening the first and reaching over to get the next. “Let’s just get out of here.”

You quickly pulled the faded green scrubs over your clothes. Raven placing a surgical hat on your head and mask over your face was the best she could do. Raven quickly becoming the bobbed hair nurse again. She nods at you, as if to say, “everything will be fine.”

Peter Maximoff:

So much energy coming out at once has to take it out form somewhere. What was a splitting headache a second ago became a massive weight. One that dragged you down from the standing position and towards the floor. Only to be caught by arms that were not there a second ago.

It wasn’t that Peter was “harboring a fugitive,” or was “obstructing justice” he was just helping out his girlfriend. Something that he has argued about with several people.

“I don’t believe this was done on purpose, Ser.” Professor Xavier says into the phone, staring at Peter as he did. “No, she still has yet to reach out to us. To any of us. The moment she does we will tell you.”

Peter makes a face and shrugs when the phone is hung up. “I don’t see why they need her. It’s was an accident, she said sorry, I don’t see what else there is.”

Professor Xavier doesn’t seem to bother asking where you are. Peter wouldn’t tell him, and he could easily find you with cerebro.

“Is she safe?” He asks, wanting whatever truth Peter was willing to give.

“I mean, I don’t know where she is, but she safe. I think, yeah, she’s safe.” He says. Smart enough to help you vanish but not enough to know better then to lie to a telepath.

Hank McCoy:

Like a little kid you’ve chosen the staircase banister to hide behind. Either hand holding onto a separate bar, looking out between them. Your spot was strategically placed far enough away from the door that they wouldn’t see your details through the banister. As far as they were concerned you were just a curious kid. A very big curious kid.

“They” were the people Hank was currently handling at the door. It had been only two days since the incident and it’s amazing it took them this long to reach your door. Three men in suits and a woman in a white coat knocked at your door just after lunch.

Sending the students from the hall Hank took control of the situation. Never outright telling you to leave the main hall but did make a similar “shoo” gesture that he gave the kids while telling them to make their exit.

Although the distance gave you an advantage it also kept you from hearing what was being said. The men on the other side weren’t giving enough body language to tell if they were upset or not. Only one seemed to be talking, the others were moving side to side on their feet. If Hank were to move too far to one side or the other they’d try and make their way inside.

“They don’t have a right to take you, not legally or in anyway.” Hank had reassured you hours earlier.

It started to get tense on the other side of the room. One of the men giving up on waiting for an opening and trying to make one himself.

Hank’s change can happen slow or it can happen so fast you don’t even realize it. The friendly approach of a regular human at the door was abandoned the moment they showed aggression. Blue arms and baring teeth made all three jump, reaching for their hips. The woman in white, the seeming bravest of the group, steps forward. A hand reached out, but the door is slammed in her face.

Jean Gray:

Life is confusing and everyone is screaming.

At first their screams were sympathetic; they were screams of fear and pain. But after hearing them non-stop for several minutes it’s hard to feel bad. It was almost like they were doing it on purpose. Like, if they just shut up for one second you could figure what was happening.

They didn’t, though, they wouldn’t shut up. Distracting you from the indestructible bubbles creating and growing in the walls, machines and skin. Expanding and tearing everything apart.

There’s two other voices among the screaming that stands out: the first is the loudest. It’s the purest form of anger and fear that could ever be made. It was also the most annoying, if that one person would just shut-the-fuck-up you could probably think. The other voice is the only one not screaming. It wasn’t sweet or kind like it was before, it was harsh and stern. Power behind the voice making it louder then a scream ever could be.

It was pretty obvious whose voice was yours and who’s belonged to Jean.

Jean’s voice was like that. It was powerful, it was a strict father’s and a commanding mother’s combined. If she wanted to, she could make it impossible to escape her voice. She uses this power of voice now: Where your ears can’t take any information, but your mind was burst open and unprotected.

You never understood what she was saying completely. Only that it was nice, and that it made everything go black.

Logan/ Wolverine:

More than half the population of earth is smarter than Logan. He’s more than willing to admit that, but what he did know was not to poke an already agitated bear. That’s all you were in that moment. A very pissed off bear sitting in the corner of a glass square.

It honestly wouldn’t have been that bad if Peter hadn’t compared it to the cages Magneto had been in. That was when everything seemed to become real for you.

This was only way that there wouldn’t be an absolute hunt for mutants. Your containment in exchange for a lie told by the Secretary of Defense to the entire world. That, no, there was not “mutant attack”, this was an unexplained, isolated incident. One that was now being held in the basement of a government building until your fate is decided.

“Are you allowed to smoke in here?” You ask, picking at the bottom of your white scrubs.

“I didn’t see the signs.” He says, waiting for someone to dare and yell at him about the cigar.

Instead of asking for the cigar verbally you raise a hand towards one of the small breathing holes. He slides it towards you, butt first. Only giving a little direction on how to puff the thing instead of straight up inhale it.

Smoking anything while stressed was a good way to start a bad habit. Something Logan tried to keep you from. Given the situation, he allowed the nicotine high you were gonna get from working on the thing. It was another test for this place. A test to see just how long or how many little rules he could break before someone yelled at him.

Not that he would ever use this knowledge for selfish means. It was just good to know when things would start to go south. Not that the Professor gave him permission, he just didn’t tell him not to.

Kurt Wagner:

Any pictures or footage taken of you during the incident were stolen straight from hell. That was the only aspect anyone cared about; the ones where you were wild and there was nothing in your eyes except for uncontrolled power.

No one thought about the few seconds after the incident. That instead of power there was confusion and fear. Staring at your hands and into the world looking for answers.

That scene only lasted a few seconds. Long enough for the blue devil to match your hell appear and disappear with you.

Like a child you went to bed without dinner. Although it was by choice, and this wasn’t your bed. It was a hiding place in the same building that your seekers were searching. But with a protective layer of blankets, and an extra layer of your boy sitting in front of the door, you could enjoy these last few minutes before your life goes to hell.

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ninjakittenhaswords · 4 years

Text

Prequel: Lab Accident

White lights flared to life when the levers got pulled down by the man's hand. One by one the lights turned on and the energy generators roared to life. The hallways were pristine white with matching tiles and a black line trailing the floor and splitting into other hallways like the street lanes that were far above this place.

Footsteps echoed down the now lit up halls. "Another day in the lab." A man spoke up. He had dark hair and eyes to match, looking like he was in his mid to late twenties. He had a white lab coat with a blue shirt and black work pants. He had the intellectual ability to match the other people that worked but he was still so... soft when the situation didn't call for emotion. The man next to him had grey streaks coming in and cold eyes. He wore a matching lab coat but had all black underneath. He hummed a response. "Mmph." He held a clipboard out with his pen already scribbling something on the sheet of paper. It was probably something about the novice still trying to make small talk with anyone there when there was no use anymore.

They went further in and they separated, the elder went to see another person at a station of vials with chemicals that were brewing since the latest of hours. The young man wondered what that was all for, but his work wasn't there. He had somewhere else to be. He went down the halls and turned left to another group. "Got lost?" A blond-haired man smirked at him. He looked to be one of the newbies much like himself. They had only started their work just a few weeks, maybe a month ago.

"Nah. Just the usual route." Though something inside made him think that this wasn't going to be a usual day much like the others.

It was about two hours later when it happened.

"Sir! Something is wrong with the water supply!" The man with grey streaks had run up the steps with the chemical specialist at his side. "What is it?" The specialist spoke again. "I was researching what it was and it turns out to be a mutating agent of sorts." They pulled a capped vial out of their inner pocket and preceded to hand it over to their boss. The substance glowed a typical green and it pulsated with life.

"Interesting.." The boss started, looking to the person who handed the vial to him, "Did you say it got into our water supply?" He stared at them. They nodded in confirmation. "Affirmative, sir."

"If it is a mutating agent then surely we must see how it affected our subjects." He pulled the vial into his fist and went forward. "Get security ready." "Sir?" "I have a feeling we'll have trouble with a few of those animals. As I said, inform the security to stand by."

He went down with a team of researchers, a few of them being recruits who were entrusted with the task of being on the lower, more secretive levels. The young man with dark hair was one of these recruits. He followed the group until they went into an area with... test subjects. Most of them were animals but he had heard there were people even further beneath these levels. He was too apprehensive to ask about what happened to them, but it didn't concern them too much.

He looked up from the clipboard after reading it over. It was a set of copied notes from the chemical specialist. Something about a mutating agent slipping into the water supply and perhaps the possibility of that said supply affecting a few of the subjects. He did a double-take, looking from the clipboard to the animal subjects.

He was surprised at them. These animals had grown in size. The containment units were burst open, cages were shattered apart and laying beneath their bodies, or the subjects were pressed hard against the plexiglass doors, possibly suffocating from no air. The subjects were calm. 'Possibly because the alarms hadn't gone off yet.' The man thought to himself.

"We'll have to sedate them before we can relocate them." One of the researchers spoke to the boss. "After the relocation is done, we'll get the containment units repaired and expanded for their new statures." The leader stared around at all of them. They grew in size as the reports said they would, but nothing else interesting yet.

"Do what you must and don't waste time. We have a schedule to follow through." He ordered. "Yes sir." They began moving the newly formed creatures out. Those that freaked out were knocked unconscious with a silent dart gun. The effects were slower due to the new mass and the type of darts they had but it made the mutated animals unconscious.

And then... there was the one that gave them more trouble than they intended. A large lizard mutant refused to move from her containment unit. She was once a small little gecko that used to squirm in a few select hands and bite and scratch at any exposed fingers and palms. Now here she was, much bigger than before. She could meet a Komodo Dragon in size. Of course, her ferocity grew as well. She hissed louder at an approaching armored guard and stomped around.

The leopard gecko kept up with the stance until one of them got too close to her unit. She turned fast, leaping towards the man, and chomped her jaws at him. The lizard caught him by the arm and proceeded to use her weight to push him down. The man was lucky to have layered up in case of any... potential dangers. Unfortunately, it didn't help with him now being weighed down by the layers and a big lizard pinning him down.

"Quit standing around! Somebody get a tranquilizer!" The boss man yelled his orders. "Right sir!" One of the security members answered back and readied their aim. The gecko began thrashing her head around before pulling the man beneath her back up and tossed him into the shooter's direction. 'It's acting on instincts but.. it seems the mutation agent has also doubled on intellect. This may prove useful.' The young man with ebony hair thought.

He watched as the lizard looked around, watching the men carefully before concluding that none of them were going to come forward and turning herself back around to her containment unit. She sat before it but still kept her eyes on all of them. "She doesn't want to leave." The security guard stood up and helped the armed man up. "We still need to relocate her with the others so these can be repaired and expanded."

The boss stared back at the female gecko who only rumbled lowly at him in a threatening manner. "Then find a way to handle her. Security will deal with the reptile while everyone else handles the rest. I will be supervising the situation." He looked to the young man in ebony hair. "You're to observe the lizard and note anything else suspicious as to why she'd behave this way." The man looked up to the boss than to the enlarged gecko. He couldn't disobey even if it meant he'd be in danger. "Yes sir." He responded quickly.

"Good." The glasses glinted in the lighting when he pushed them back into place.

The younger recruit looked to the enlarged gecko while the more experienced security officers got her trapped in a catchpole. The loop was quick to tighten around her neck and she hissed and pulled and tried to use her front claws to get it off, but to no avail. Other loops went around different limbs like one of her front legs when she lifted it and the guy timed it right to catch it and pull to the other side of her body, making her cross-legged upfront. The lizard backed up before getting her back leg caught and pulled out underneath her.

The enlarged leopard gecko thrashed and hissed at the armored men, swinging her tail. "Hold her!" "Someone get the tranquilizer!" One of them yelled. A man responded by quickly taking the shot, hitting her in the side close to her belly. The lizard was quick to stare towards the shooter and charge at him, pulling the other men behind her.

This was the wrong move.

In a state of calm panic, the man quickly reloaded the tranq with a larger dose and shot the lizard, much closer to the center of her forehead. The lizard hissed at the shooter and kept her angry stare but she slowed down. Her steps grew slower and slower until finally...

She stopped almost too suddenly.

"YOU IDIOT! DON'T YOU KNOW THESE TYPES OF TRANQUILIZERS ARE MEANT FOR SUBJECTS BIGGER THAN THIS LIZARD?!" One of the researchers yelled at the man.

Meanwhile, the young recruit circled the scene to investigate why she was behaving this way. "She's practically poisoned to death. Now we can't even conduct our research on her." The boss sighed and pushed his glasses back up. "No matter. We have plenty of other subjects. This is just one loss. Let's not make any more."

The security staff was left to details of moving the rest of the subjects. Janitorial duty came to clean up what was left. "Sir!" One of them yelled out to the scientists. The recruit was the first to get on the scene. "What is i— Oh no..." He stopped when he saw what the man was holding.

"She was.." The scientist covered his face and let out a heavy sigh, looking to the body bag carrying the now enlarged leopard gecko. "Now her behavior makes sense." He looked back to the makeshift nest with seven other eggs laying on their sides. 'She was being protective over these eggs.' He took note. 'Why though? Most small lizards would hide their eggs and run. They don't typically protect them and the gecko we've worked with never shown a bad attitude before... So why? Did she grow this "mother's instinct"? Is the mutation agent the cause?'

"Get rid of them," the boss ordered, pointing at the eggs. "We don't have time to play baby sitter." The young recruit stood up to him responding with "Could we at least see if they're fertile?" The boss snapped back at him. "What use would they be?"

"New opportunities sir. We saw how fully grown adults reacted to the substance that slipped in our water supply. Perhaps something's different with these eggs. They only look recently laid and it's possible that they got mutated just like their mother, but they would grow into it. Do you not see it? They're something new. They could be exactly what we need." The young man held a good point. "We can't waste an opportunity like this because we won't know if it'll happen so soon."

The boss looked down with a hand on his chin. "Fine. If you're so attached to the idea already, then we'll keep them for the time being, but if anything goes wrong, then there's to be no evidence of the mistakes. I already have the financier breathing down my neck." He mumbled the last part to himself. The young recruit nodded to his words. "Yes sir!" He was so excited to be involved in the newfound project, but unfortunately, he was none the wiser to the consequences that would happen later on.

He didn't know any better. He didn't know the tests would become more dangerous and surely he didn't know that he'd be the one to get far too attached to the last leopard gecko egg that hatched.

He didn't know any better.

None of them did.

#tmnt #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2k3 #tmnt fanfiction #tmnt fanfic #tmnt 2003 fic #tmnt 2k3 fic #tmnt oc #tmnt ocs #TMNT 2003: Sister's Story #ninjakitten’s writing

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need-a-fugue · 4 years

Text

We Grow Together (14)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Tessa Sullivan (OFC)

Chapter Summary: Domestic Bucky at his finest. That’s really it.

Summary: Relationships can be tough, especially when one person is a recovering-from-being-brainwashed-and-tortured former assassin and the other is an overworked mutant scientist. But hey, every couple has their struggles. Right?

Their first Christmas together was great. Neither of them really had any family outside of the tower, so it’s not as though they had to stress out about meeting parents or splitting time between different parties or traveling during the worst travel time of the year. Instead, they got to stay at home, wrapped in a cocoon of new relationship splendor. They were just starting to realize who they were to each other then, or who they could be. They were just starting to fall in love. So, yeah, last Christmas was pretty damn near perfect.

But this year, things were… different. They had just made the move to the new Avengers facility upstate and the entire campus was still in a bit of upheaval. Tessa’s lab was understaffed, she was wholly unaware of how to troubleshoot the new computer system that Tony had installed, and her lack of organized filing had finally caught up to her. Even her wonderful, amazing, always capable assistant was pulling her hair out trying to track down everything that was misplaced in the move.

Bucky was faring better. It’s not like he had much stuff to pack or unpack, let alone to keep track of. And he wasn’t tasked with running a lab while also prepping an entire medical unit. All he had to do was help Steve choose new potential recruits. And they weren’t even going to officially contact anyone until the campus was up and running, so even that job wasn’t exactly a priority.

He kept himself busy, and just tried to be helpful, by assisting workers around the buildings. But half the time, that damn disembodied voice would turn on and tell him that his services weren’t required. He had never gotten used to Jarvis communicating through the walls, but there was something even weirder about hearing Friday. Maybe it was feminine, slightly sensual Irish drawl.

Because he didn’t have much to do, and because Tessa was typically overwhelmed with all she had going on, he’d turned into a bit of a house-husband. That’s what Natasha had called him. Sam referred to him as a bang-maid – though only once.

Bucky wasn’t fond of people calling him anything. He wasn’t fond of them knowing his business at all. And he certainly wasn’t fond of playing a non-traditional gender role. At least not in theory. In practice, however, he actually enjoyed making breakfast and dinner. And he really didn’t mind doing laundry. And his time in the Army had given him an appreciation for spotless spaces, crisp military corners, and precise organization. So unpacking and cleaning wasn’t too bad either. He had a feeling that, while his father would’ve chided him for spending his days doing women’s work, his mother would’ve been proud. And really, Bucky never did care much for what his father thought of him anyway.

But it did sometimes feel like he had stepped into someone else’s life. Just two years ago he had been a largely unstable former assassin who was being kept hidden away from the Hydra foes he’d unwittingly helped to take down. His days were spent trying to separate fantasy from reality and past from present, all while trying to help Steve and his new friends root out remaining Hydra supporters.

But recently things had changed. Sure, they still kept a close eye out in case anything Hydra-related popped. But a near cataclysmic event helped to put some things into perspective. Bucky wanted to help. He wanted to be part of a team again, a team that strived to do right and worked to save the world.

And on a personal note, he’d realized that he didn’t want to take a single moment with Tessa for granted. Over the last year and a half or so, she had somehow managed to show him what it meant to be cared for, to be loved. Hydra had wiped that concept from his brain, along with so much else. He’s not really sure how she was able to salvage whatever human remnants were left inside of him, let alone how she managed to piece them all together to create the man he is today. But he’s more than grateful to her for doing it. And he’s honestly not sure where he’d be right now – or who he’d be – if she hadn’t come into his life.

Just after Ultron, when Tony first told them all about the upcoming move upstate, it felt like a forgone conclusion that he and Tessa would bunk together, as he’d put it when broaching the subject with Steve. After all, at that point, he’d been spending most of his nights at her place anyway. In fact, Tony had put them together in this two bedroom apartment when he first drew up the plans for the living quarters. Leave it to Tony to just assume.

“That’s still a really big step, Buck,” Steve had told him with that patronizing look on his face. “I mean, are you gonna marry her?”

What Bucky had wanted to say was something along the lines of, of course I’m going to marry her, you idiot. But what came out was the far more rational, “We’ve only been together a year. We’re still getting to know each other. Hell, I’m still getting to know me.” He had actually mentally patted himself on the back for giving such a mature response.

But then Steve let out a long sigh and slowly shook his head, his eyes just brimming over with a look of I’m Captain America, and I know what’s best for everyone! “Maybe you shouldn’t move into together then.” He’d put a strong hand on Bucky’s shoulder and gave him a quick squeeze. “Maybe it’s just too soon.”

“Nah,” Bucky told him simply, “I’ll think we’ll take our chances.”

Steve was still jokingly referring to their relationship as pure sin.

Of course, all of that happened before he woke in the middle of the night with his hands tightly clenched around her throat. He’s not sure that he’ll ever forgive himself for that. He’s not sure that he wants to. But if one good thing did come from that night, it was the feeling that they truly were meant to be together. She loved him so fiercely that she could forgive him for nearly killing her in her sleep. And he needed her so desperately that he couldn’t keep himself away, even though he worried constantly that it might happen again.

In the last few months, they’d become more than just… whatever it was people were calling them – boyfriend and girlfriend, lovers, partners. They’d survived the end of the world together. They made it through that incident together. And they’d been managing this horrendous move together. They may not be married, but they did now officially have a home together. And that made them a family.

So this Christmas had to be something special.

Tessa was already talking about getting a tree, a thing that neither of them had done in years. And after last year’s Christmas dinner success, he felt like the pressure was on to up his game in the kitchen too. All of the Avengers, and Avengers-adjacent personnel, seemed way more into the holiday season this year. Maybe it was because they had already received nearly a foot of snow in their new upstate abode. Maybe it was because they were eager to really welcome Wanda to the family and give her a good holiday, and also show Vision what Christmas was really all about. Maybe it was because everyone was just now getting settled after a long and arduous uprooting. Or maybe it was because the world almost ended less than half a year ago. No matter the cause, there was one thing for sure, this Christmas had to be perfect.

“So what are you getting me?” she asks, her voice heady with near sleep as she lays her head on the armrest of the couch.

He’s massaging her feet, as he has been for the past five minutes, since she stumbled in and splayed out on the couch in a pathetic-looking heap. “We’re doing presents?” he asks, a coy smile on his face. “I thought you were too busy for that?”

She raises her head and gives him a suspicious glare. “I can make time. I have an assistant you know.”

“So I should thank Claire for whatever I get come Christmas morning?”

“Probably,” she shrugs, flopping her head back down and closing her eyes. “It just feels different this year,” she says after a long moment. “Like… I want to do stuff… celebrate… like when I was a kid.”

“Yeah?” He sets down her foot and reaches out to take hold of her hand. Then he gives a little tug to haul her up next to him. She lets out a dramatic whine as he sits her up, and then she snuggles into the cushions along the back of the sofa. “What do you want to do?” he asks, his bright eyes locked onto hers.

“Well…” she smiles and softly bites her bottom lip as she thinks. “I want to get a tree.”

“You mentioned that, and I’m on board.”

“And I want you to make another apple pie.”

“Done.”

“Oh!” She jolts upright, excitement taking over. “We could have a snowball fight. With everyone! Or at least everyone who’s staying in town.”

He smiles and laughs. “That sounds pretty great.”

She lets out a sigh, her head falling back into the cushions once again. “I think something like that would be good. A morale booster. Or just… you know… a break. For everyone.”

He brings his left hand over to her face, tucks a few stray hairs behind her ear, and opens his hand up so that she can nuzzle into the metal palm. There’s something about the clean, smooth coolness of the metal that calms her nerves. He places the pad of his thumb between her eyes and rubs slow, deep circles into her forehead, and she hums with contentment.

“You’ve got a headache,” he says, a statement, not a question. He’d discovered a few months into their relationship that Tessa sometimes gets migraines. She liked to blame it on her mutation, though there was no explanation for how that would cause them. It didn’t take long for him to figure out that they were usually caused by stress and just plain working too damn hard. But the strong, cold pressure of his thumb on her forehead, and his fingertips along her temple, seemed to help. It was one of the only things he actually liked about that stupid metal arm.

“Everyone’s working so hard to get the med floor up and going. And my team in the lab is dealing with those stupid new machines that hardly ever work. And Tony won’t admit that they’re pieces of shit, which is making me crazy. And so much of the day-to-day stuff is still in the city…” She lets out a miserable sort of huff. “I’m just tired.”

“How long do you have to keep going into the city?” She’d been commuting at least three days a week since they’d moved into the new compound, sometimes more if the systems in the lab went down. She’d always worked too hard for too long… being so dedicated to her job was one of the things he loved about her, actually. Like it or not, Tessa was all in when it came to the things she was passionate about. But this was getting to be too much. “I’m worried about you,” he says softly, when she doesn’t answer. She gives him a sad puppy dog look, complete with pouty bottom lip. “I’m serious,” he says, a no-nonsense stare taking over his face.

“Well, the business side of Stark Industries is still in the city. So board meetings, budget meetings, whatever other kind of meetings Tony makes me go to, will all still be there. But he promises the lab will be fully transitioned by the spring.” She reaches out and places her palm on his cheek, then runs her fingertips through his hair. “Don’t worry. It makes you look older than your 99 years.”

He takes her hand and brings her palm down to his lips, kisses it gently. “I’ll always worry about you.” They connect eyes and a big, sly smile takes his over as he secures his grip on her hand and blows a giant, messy raspberry into her palm.

“Uh,” she groans, struggling to pull away. “You’re so gross!” He slips his grip down to her wrist and catches her other arm with his right hand. “No!” she squeals as he hauls her over on top of him. He scoots his bottom down the couch a bit so that he’s laying beneath her. “Boys are nasty,” she says, settling her head onto his chest.

“My mom used to say that boys were made of snips and snails and puppy dog tails,” he says into her hair.

“I know that,” she breathes into him, dreamily. “And girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice.” She tilts her head and looks up at him with a shit-eating grin.

“God, I love you,” he says with a laugh. Then, giving her another stern look, “But I’m not going to stop worrying about you. Not ever.”

She shifts on top of him and rolls off to the side so she’s largely sandwiched between the back of the couch and his strong, warm body. “Such a mama bear,” she yawns out.

“You need to work less.”

“I need to work more efficiently,” she counters. “I need a new car.”

“What’s wrong with your car?”

“Nothing. But if I could get to and from the city faster…”

He shakes his head and smiles. “Ah, I see. You won’t cut back on work, so you plan to shave time by breaking traffic laws.”

“You think Tony would give me a suit?” she asks, tilting her face up again to look him in the eye. “That would cut my commute to next to nothing. And I’d have a suit. I’d be Iron Maiden!”

He raises his eyebrows and nods, clearly not getting her word play.

She just shakes her head and snuggles back into his side. “You’re so old,” she tells him. “Sometimes I think you don’t understand anything.”

He picks up her hand, which she’d been using to softly tap out a rhythm on his sternum, and intertwines their fingers. “That’s rich coming from someone who drinks Ensure.”

“You took away my power bars.”

“Yeah, because they’re filled with sugar.”

“Which sustains me.”

“For what, an hour?”

She nods into him. “And then I eat some candy.”

He laughs softly and she beams as it reverberates through his chest and into her. “How are you a doctor?” They lay in silence for several minutes, Tessa curled into Bucky’s side, his metal arm draped lazily over her. It isn’t long before she’s warm and heavy next to him and he can hear her breathing deepen steadily. “You want to go bed?” he asks, barely a whisper.

She hums in response, only partially awake, before shifting and rolling her face into his shoulder. Her words are a muffled mess when she mumbles something to the effect of, “Noemnottired.”

He drops his left hand down to her bottom and gives her butt a sharp couple of pats. “C’mon,” he says as he sits up, urging her to come with him. “If you go to bed, I’ll get on the computer and start shopping for your Christmas present.”

Her eyes are already glazed, but they still light up as she takes in a sharp breath and says, “You’d online shop for me?!”

“Only for you, doll face,” he tells with a peck on the cheek and a quick slap on the ass. “Now get to bed.”

#bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x oc #bucky barnes x original female character #marvel fanfic #bucky imagine #avengers fanfiction #avengersau #marvelau #bucky barnes au #Supernova

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mvssmallow · 4 years

Text

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT: CWAC PHASE II: 02

Jiwon goes with Hanbin to his therapy sessions. It’s a big breakthrough to have a mediator there, providing education and dispelling all the myths and pointing out all those negatively reinforcing behaviours that people tend to do when they’re mad and frustrated. Hanbin chews his nails aggressively in the first session, convinced that Jiwon has another front row seat to his “Psycho Show” and will judge him relentlessly but because Jiwon’s no ordinary boy-off-the-streets, it does the opposite and there’s a real understanding from Jiwon, who slowly begins to realise that he has a few issues of his own too. Things don’t miraculously improve overnight, because Jiwon still has days where he has no idea how to process all this while having his ass kicked by his record company....but the therapist gently asks him if he wants to come back on his own some time.

And he says yes.

Hanbin may have said, ‘What The Fuck?” out loud at that point.

So they do sessions now. Together. Separately. It’s helpful. It helps.

Jiwon’s body and mind slowly but surely adjusts to the demands of his new career. He and Hanbin make time for each other, even if it’s just eating breakfast at the sink or having dinner together 3 out of 7 nights. They force themselves to do it because if you let your work run your life then you aren’t really living after awhile, you’re just going the motions. He hates it when they miss out on all the small things that makes life worthwhile, like having all the time in the world to sleep in, watching bad movies, eating take-out (vaguely off limits now that Jiwon is preparing for a debut soon).

Things are okay-ish.

The funny thing is, whenever a few areas of his life is going well, another will inevitably implode. This time, it’s his own writing career. He becomes despondent, watching newer employees get better and more high profile assignments and top page billings and by-lines. Donghyuk encourages him to hang in there as best as he can but it’s not really a problem Donghyuk has had for a long time, being the magazines star-writer and the editor’s favourite.

Hanbin tries to write better, write stronger, write harder but all it does is churn out depersonalised pieces that not even he really cares about.

It’s Jiwon, because of course it would be, who ends up being the catalyst.

“If you don’t love it, why don’t you try something else?”

1 month turns into 2 months and by the third, the question is still cycling around Hanbin’s mind. And for someone who tries to plan everything within an inch of it’s life, he does something completely unplanned: he goes to work on a Thursday morning, walks past his office, knocks on the Editor’s door and gives his 2 week’s notice.

After spending 30 minutes apologising to Donghyuk and promising to stay in contact he leaves the Daily Grind behind. In all sense of the word.

Then he has a panic attack in the car park.

“Could’ve warned me about this in the morning babe.” Jiwon teases gently when he comes to pick Hanbin up and drive his car home.

“I didn’t know I was going to do it today!” Hanbin grumbles in his seat.

“So. How does it feel?”

“How do you think?! I didn’t even make a back up plan. What the hell was I thinking. You should always have a back up plan. What the hell am I going to do now? How are we going to pay the rent and-”

“Woah woah woah.....come on, you’ll be ok. We’ve got savings and I’m still working. It’s gonna be okay.”

“I can’t expect you to-”

“To what? Support you? Like you did for me before I got signed?”

“That’s different.”

“It’s not and you know it.”

Hanbin just humms in response.

“Tell me how you really feel. Honestly.”

“Well.....” Hanbin sighs, pauses, looks out the window at the city whizzing by and basks in the knowledge that tomorrow is really a brand new day. He doesn’t have to wake up and go to the same place, only to sit down and force his brain to type words he doesn’t care about. Rinse repeat rinse repeat.

A smile creeps on his face after awhile. Jiwon makes an amused sound but doesn’t say anything.

“I guess, I’m kinda....relieved?”

“That all?”

“And better?”

“Anything else?”

“A little bit excited?” Hanbin grimaces then. “God no, that’s just lame.”

Jiwon reaches over to mess with Hanbin’s dark hair. “Nah, it’s not. It’s good babe. It’s real good. I’m proud of you for doing this. As I said, when we have kids, they’re gonna have balls of steel genetically and that’s gonna come from you.”

Hanbin rolls his eyes in mock disgust. “What if we have girls?”

“Even better, haha.”

For the first few days of his unemployment, the apartment is just so quiet when everyone in the block is either at school, tai chi for the Eldery or at work. Except Hanbin. Hanbin is on the couch, holding the phone in his hand, his mum’s number staring back at him. He’d cleaned the apartment three times. Folding and ironing all his clothes then all of Jiwon’s. Making enough meals to last the entire week in one day.

There’s just the small-big task of telling his parents that he quit his job.

And his parents? Well, they don’t take it how he expects them to but at the same time, it’s oddly typical. He chickens out of calling them and drives there instead.

His dad scolds him for not having a back up plan and rambles on and on in a long-winded version of “I told you so”. But to everyone’s complete surprise, his dad doesn’t try to get him back into the business company again, he offers of course but Hanbin can’t do a job like that, it’d kill him and they all know it.

When he leaves, it’s not on an entirely bad note. His mother is concerned. His dad is full of suggestions and demands Hanbin updates his resume and reads the list of options he provides. It’s kind of heartwarming, even if he knows that his Pre-Stroke dad would never be like this.

And Hanbyul? Well, she has self interest in his unemployment.

“Can we go get bubble tea and cake after ballet then?! And you can pick me up from school! But in Jiwon’s car!”

“Gotta check my schedule.....Oh that’s right! I’m free indefinitely!”

“YAY!”

And funnily enough, his days get filled up pretty easily. Playdates with his sister, lunch dates with Yun, hanging around June at the tattoo shop, not being mentally exhausted when Jiwon gets home, being able to have dinner and get up early to kiss Jiwon goodbye in the mornings without the time pressure.

But most importantly.

He writes again.

#cwac summary #cwac stuff #hi it's me #your local summariser #play that song i linked to in the last post #Saturn by Sleeping At Last #it's nice in the background

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renatlia · 5 years

Text

Dawn of the 1st Day

“Where’d the Time go?”

(Part 1/2)

Sensing a looming danger but no immediate threat, they allowed themselves a moment to regain composure. Whatever magic it was pulling them around had never had such an effect before. While sometimes enough to make one falter, this one in particular left them all with vertigo. The miserable Hero of Legend looked ready to crumble under the migraine he typically was able to grit and bear.

The Hero of the Sky was the first to recover. While working at his friend’s neck in hopes of helping, he tried to assess the situation. They were in a new area, one that somehow felt more ominous than anything he’d ever encountered. An intense, sinister hate that sent shivers up his spine.

Those who needed to rest while crawling dungeons, raiding temples, and being wide open to attack develop a keen sense of atmosphere. The absolute rage radiating from all sides set the party of heroes on high alert.

The sky child was reminded of Demise, and yet, the sensation felt heavier. Personal. The demon king may have had targeted his hatred on the goddess and her hero directly, but he hadn’t originally fought out of hatred. That evil sought power and would only hold anger for those actively in his way. Though the curse had twisted into pure malice by the Hero of the Wild’s era, most reappearances focused primarily on attaining power, the other two reincarnations affected by the curse merely put under surveillance.

“Wasn’t it just past noon?” The question snapped the Skyloftian out of his musings. Glancing back at the clock tower, he found it read 6:07, the scent of dew indicating early morn. The youngest of them was correct. It had been just after lunch when the worlds shifted.

“Odd? That’s never happened before,” the Hero of Twilight grunted.

The area wasn’t familiar at all either, judging by the faces shared amongst his comrades. It raised suspicion. The strong aftereffects of the magic that brought them there, the time of day changing, the storm of emotion that made the humid air even heavier. A gut feeling told him that the shadow they’d been following wasn’t behind this.

“Those construction workers look like my own, but that doesn’t lend much. I mean, we did have to drag away the old man before he spent all his rupees on milk after meeting my era’s Malon,” the most colorful among them smirked.

Unfortunately, the reaction they’d hoped to catch was nonexistent. Their unofficial leader was nowhere to be seen. The notion of anyone getting left behind had to be the most disturbing aspect of the last fifteen minutes. The missing hero’s protege looked beside himself with worry and lost on what to do.

“Look!” The Hero of Ages clapped for attention. “Just because the shift was harsher than usual, it doesn’t mean he got left behind. We’d see him again if he had been anyways. We were brought together for a reason, after all. The old man knows how to take care of himself, and he wouldn’t want us fussing over his absence instead of focusing on the matter at hand.

“Something strange is going on-different than usual, but we can’t panic over the unknown. Let’s split up and ask around. Where are we? What and where is the danger? Has anyone seen the old man? He may have only wandered off. It wouldn’t be the first time any of us had.”

Huh. He sure knew how to boost everyone’s morale. Must come from being a captain where he’s from.

“It would be unlike him to wander?” The Hero of Hyrule spoke up.

“Yeah, but... maybe he knows the place? He could’a gotten caught up in his head and forgot the plot. Okay, we’ll keep an eye out,” the farm hand nodded. He sounded as if he were trying to convince himself more than anyone else.

The eight left of them paired off to cover more ground. As the saying goes, it’s dangerous to go alone. One pair stayed put as the others went separate ways.

~*~

Link let the young hero wrap himself in the end of his scarf once again, the sudden changes in temperature chilling the island dweller. Having become fairly close, Link found it a small comfort to have the boy near. The teen was more than capable on his own, but something in the air raised the hairs off his neck.

The air cooled further as they passed the threshold to an open playground. The dew had yet to dry from the grass sealing in the night’s chill for a bit longer.

“Tingle!” his excitable friend whispered. He jutted his head towards an odd fellow spinning in place. It was a wonder the guy didn’t get dizzy.

The man, who had to be in his mid to late thirties, wore what Link could only describe as dark red undergarments over a skin-tight, full-body suit of a vibrant green. A hood exposed only his face and came to a point sticking up on the top of his head. Finally clueing Link in to what he was doing, he had a pen and parchment in hand and a compass dangling from his neck.

Okay, a map maker. Spinning explained. Gaudy costume? Still weird.

The little sailor tugged him over by the scarf he had wrapped tightly around his arms and was still firmly tucked around Link’s neck. The “forest fairy” was rather nice if a little bizarre. He told them that he sold maps of current locations at a discount, and so, the pair sat down next to a slide to get a better look at “Clock Town.”

Link frowned. The name tickled something in the back of his mind, and Tingle also seemed vaguely familiar. He quit thinking on it when felt a sharp sting in his neck, which had been happening frequently as of late. He must’ve jumped, because he received a concerned glance that he had to wave off.

Link knew the sting wasn’t a bad thing. He could recall his adventures just fine, but names, faces, and locations had become foggy since meeting the others. He remembered traveling across different eras and meeting many people of legend and myth. He figured out that the sting would stop him from thinking on them, and he pieced together that they were probably people his companions knew on their adventures (and likely lost). The goddesses sure had peculiar ways to protect their heroes. He just hoped the fog would clear once it was all over, feeling a sense of loss over his amnesia.

He blinked to focus on the map. The town was sectioned off in four areas, convenient that they’d paired off. “South Clock Town” held the clock tower with little else but the banker they had passed on their way north. To the west was what looked like an alley for shopping and other errands. The east, however, was far larger and most likely housed the local inn, which Link made a quick mental note of. The playground they were in didn’t have much, but they decided to ask around a bit more before ditching the place.

The little boy shooting darts at a balloon didn’t tell them anything. He had refused to listen to them and yelled at them to leave him alone to his practice. Not wanting to anger the child anymore, they proceeded to speak with the guard positioned at the town exit. After flailing for a moment at having found such a decorated knight in Clock Town, he managed to collect himself enough to direct them towards a cave past where Tingle... had been? “If anything, surely the Great Fairy can guide you!”

Entering the Fairy Fountain was just as refreshing as ever. The temperature was always comfortable no matter the weather outside. A calm would wash over you like a serene spring morning. Tall arches layered in vines surrounded a shallow pool of crystal clear water. The same water cascading down the circular wall parting at the entrance.

Link heard a squawk beside him, and he gasped also catching sight of a swirling cluster of fairies. Typically, there may be three or four fairies milling about at any given time, but there had to be around twenty circling in the center of the fountain.

“Heroes! Please hear my plea!” a warbled voice squealed from the mass. “I have been broken and shattered to pieces by the masked Skull Kid. Please find the one Stray Fairy lost in town, and bring her to this Fairy Fountain.”

Without hesitation, they spun on their heels and sprinted away to hunt down the missing fairy.

~*~

Link sighed as his childhood hero spent another handful of rupees to retry a game for the umpteenth time. For one who treasures his wallet so much, the Hero of Legend sure loved gambling. He’d tried prying him away, but the stubborn veteran just kept getting more red and hell-bent with every loss.

“I’ll be right outside when you’re done!” Link shouted over the loud music. The only acknowledgment he received was a shooing motion.

Taking a breather, he watched two performers juggling to each other in a daze. They were actually really good. The balls were thrown high and were in order of color. Maintaining that had to be difficult.

Link ruffled his hair. He really shouldn’t be spacing out like that, especially in unknown territory. Deciding to at least start on their original task, Link made his way over to the jugglers and overheard their conversation.

“My, my! Funny things are happening in town, aren’t they? Funny. Funny.”

“You’re telling me! Like the rumors about the swamp to the south? Did you hear about the kidnapping?”

What? Kidnapping? Link worried his bottom lip. Should I grab the others? We should help, right?

“Oh, my! The kidnapping?”

“Yep! But then the kid woke up. Get it? Kid napping? Hooo... I got a million of ‘em!”

He glared at the twins’ laughter. Though honestly, it wasn’t even a bad joke. Relax, Link. You’re just on edge. He rolled his shoulders back and coughed. “Excuse me. New around here. Could you tell me what’s going on?”

“We’re the twin jugglers from the Gorman Troupe! We’re practicing for the big carnival! It happens once in a blue moon!”

“Or in this year’s case, once in a really, really scary, red-eyed moon!”

“Ho! Ho! I hear it’s gonna fall harder than the way my clumsy brother is always dropping our juggling balls!”

“You see, we’re entertainers. We must keep people smiling. No matter how grim things get, we must always be optimistic!”

They proceeded to talk about some fellow performers, but Link’s mind was elsewhere. Scary moon? What do they mean it’s gonna fall? He turned around to go get his partner but found him standing only a couple feet away.

“Sorry, come again? ‘Red-eyed moon?’ What’s fallin’?” the Hero of Legend asked.

“Why, just look up!”

“Frightening, isn’t it? Hooo...”

AN: I feel like it’s been at least a month since I posted the Prologue, and I felt kinda bad about it. At least this part was fairly finished in my opinion, so I wanted to go ahead and post it. I don’t really have the other half fleshed out as much as I’d like it to be, but I’ll continue to work on it. Hope you like! (The majority of the dialogue for the npcs are taken straight from the game. That’s something taking up a huge part of my time trying to incorporate their words in scenes.)

#legend of zelda #linkeduniverse #linked universe #LU in MM #Ch 1 Pt 1 #only tagging the prevelant characters #Sky #Legend #Twilight #Ages #Wind #Hyrule #Tingle #Jugglers #sorry i took so long #enjoy

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parkersharthook · 5 years

Text

Come Back To Me

(Bucky Barnes x female!reader)

Warnings: brainwashing, winter soldier appearance, mentions of choking, angst with happy ending

8.5k+ words

“What do you mean he didn’t come back with you? Where is he?”

“Y/n...”

It had been a stressful few weeks. You and Bucky never really worked well when you were separated for too long. You got too antsy and worried, he got uptight and frustrated. It’s just better for all parties involved for you two to at least be in contact with one another.

And maybe that type of relationship isn’t great when one of you is a highly trained spy and the other is a highly trained assassin. Your jobs aren’t the most stable and one of you is almost always being whisked away on one mission or another.

But typically you can still at least talk to each other. A phone call here, a facetime there, texts in between. When those missions do come around, you both cling to whatever you can get. And it works… for a short bit. But then you begin to miss each other, and want each other around. Which is understandable. You guys are in love and all that nonsense.

But this time was different. This mission was high high high up on the secrecy level which means no communication to the outside world. At all. And maybe you could’ve dealt with this if you were the one on the mission, been able to focus on the task at hand. But you weren’t. He was. He was the one, while still thinking of you, got to preoccupy his mind with strategies and information paramount for the mission. You were stuck back at the tower doing nothing. Sure the occasional villain popped up but being the sharp shooter you were with the teammates you had, they disappeared rather quickly.

So no, nothing too big was keeping you busy. And for once in your life, you wish it weren’t the case. You wish you didn’t have time to read that book or watch that show. Because when you sit down with the book in one hand in your mug of coffee in the other, you don’t actually read. You stare at the pages blankly and fill them with thoughts of your Bucky. Good and bad thoughts, naturally. You think of the amazing memories you guys have together and the ones you’re ready to make. But then you also think about not being able to see him again and losing the chance of a future with him. More often than not, you put your book back on the shelf with a few more tears stains than it started with.

And this was the pattern, the trend that continued on for 3 long weeks. 3 strenuous, tough, exasperating, maddening, infuriating, irritating, desperately lonely weeks. Sure you had your other teammates. Tony was still around, but often busied himself with his lab. Same went for Bruce and whatever major scientific journey he was on. You didn’t keep up with that stuff. Natasha and Clint popped in every now and then but mostly enjoyed this time off to be ordinary people. Vision and Wanda were away on some sort of mini vacation. Sure you could call them, but this was their time to relax as well and you didn’t want to be a burden. So you sat in the large rooms of the tower by yourself wearing your boyfriend’s shirts.

Sam, Steve, and Peter had all left with Bucky. Made sense. Sam, Steve, and Bucky were the trifecta. A well-oiled machine that could take down a ring of drug lords that spent a decade building their fortune in one… two minutes flat. Peter… well the boy needed some training. And this was a good learning opportunity. He’d be exposed to stake outs, long nights and days, disconnecting with everyone else. It’d be hard on him, but you knew he’d appreciate it. To be honest, you kind of missed your boys.

Sam and Steve had filled that sort of brother role to you. They teased you for almost about everything, Bucky included or not. But they also wouldn’t let anything even touch you maliciously, whether that was a bad guy or a bug. You loved them

Peter, though like a brother to you, was more like an annoying little brother. He’d protect you in any way he could but you were also protecting him a lot due to your experience and knowledge. He would train or bake with you all day if he could. He was a good kid, you liked him. He put a smile on your face.

So without your boys here to keep things lively and exciting, you were a little bored. And a bored y/n is a dangerous y/n. You found yourself going to the gym a little more because you had nothing to do. You found yourself sleeping a little more because you had nothing to do. You found yourself eating a little more because you had nothing to do. You found yourself thinking a little more because you had nothing to do.

But mostly, you found yourself missing Bucky a little more. You missed him and his smile. You missed his warm embrace and the cool touch of his metal arm. You missed sleeping in the same bed as him and waking up to his morning kisses. You missed his short hair that he lets grow out. You missed his perfectly chiseled jawline and abs, like that was fair. You just missed him.

You had been marking down the days on your calendar until he was due to come back. 3 weeks. They left May 3, they should return by May 24. That’s how math works. Fury had kept you updated, as much as he could. They were still on schedule, they should be here in 4 days.

4 days. 4 days. 4 days.

You grew more restless the closer it came. You had four days to entertain yourself, shouldn’t be too hard. Except that it was. It was impossible. You couldn’t focus on anything but those fucking four days. Those 96 hours that needed to pass. Those 5760 minutes you couldn’t stand. Those 345600 seconds that you were counting down.

The night before they were supposed to come home you got a call. Nick Fury.

It took you a moment to collect your breathing and swallow the pit in your stomach before you could answer. “Yes sir?”

“Stark won’t answer his phone. Tell him to prepare the landing pad for 2 tomorrow.”

You let out a shaky breath of relief, “They’re on their way?”

“They should depart in a few hours.”

“Thank you sir.”

You ended the call and let a small smile form on your face as you made your way down to Tony’s lab. Your Bucky was coming home.

~.~

You didn’t sleep the night before and you certainly weren’t getting any rest now. You sat at the kitchen table, mug of coffee in your hand, knee bouncing aggressively.

“Y/n, would you calm down? They’re fine.” Tony said with a hint of annoyance. He had been just as antsy due to Peter’s absence.

You chewed on your nails and began to ramble, “We don’t actually know that. Nick just gave us a time, no details. They could be dead and the plane could be auto piloted.” You glanced up from the table to see Tony glaring at you. You ran a hand through your hair, “sorry sorry. You’re right, they’re fine.”

You suddenly heard the whirlwind of the jet engines and the mechanics of the landing pad fill the air. You stood up quickly and walked over to the window. Tony followed suit. You guys watched the jet land gracefully and slowly be pulled into the tower by Tony’s genius technology. You both swiveled on your feet towards the garage door, waiting with stilled breath for your teammates to walk in. Clint and Natasha joined you guys in welcoming them back home, but were still relaxing on nearby chairs. The two of them not nearly as pent up as you and Tony were.

The door seemed to open in slow motion and soon enough the tall, tanned muscular body of Steve Rogers walked in with a duffel over his shoulder. Nat smiled and got up to meet her boyfriend with a hug and a small kiss. You don’t know how the two of them did it so easily.

Sam walked in next and gave Nat a quick hello before coming over to give you a hug. You gladly reciprocated the hug and gave him a loving kiss on the cheek. He threw his arm over your shoulder. You chuckled slightly, “Glad to see you made it back in one piece. How was the mission?”

“It was good if that little asshole didn’t keep getting in my way.” Sam picked up his voice as Peter walked in. The kid rolled his eyes at Sam, obviously used to his playful insults by now. You laughed slightly at the two before noticing the pointed gazes from the boys that just returned.

“Where’s Bucky?”

“Y/n….” The tone of his voice killed you. Your heart instantly sank and your vision blurred even if you didn’t actually know what had happened yet. Your knees buckled beneath you and you felt Sam tighten his grip around your waist to keep you upright. The whole room wore concerned expressions, surely for both you and the missing avenger.

Steve took a few cautious steps forward, “he… he didn’t come back with us.”

Tears threatened to spill over, “What do you mean he didn’t come back with you? Where is he?”

“Y/n...”

“No, Sam! Where the hell is Bucky?!” You pushed him away from you, anger dominating your actions.

“Y/n.” That was Steve’s voice. Calming and smooth. “Bucky is in Wakanda.”

You let out a gasp of both relief and worry. “Why would he be in Wakanda?”

“Something happened….” Peter’s voice was small and almost guilty. You noticed how he tugged at the collar of his hoodie, keeping it high up on his neck.

Everyone was staring at you. You in all your white hot rage and sadness. Your confusion was obviously evident. They were all scrutinizing you. Trying to figure out what you’d do next. Even you didn’t know that.

“I’m calling him.” You were out of the room before anyone could stop you but that doesn’t mean they didn’t follow. Sam and Steve were hot on your trail as you ran to your room to grab your phone.

“Y/n he isn’t going to pick up.”

“He probably won’t talk to you.”

“Y/n let us explain.”

You didn’t listen to them as you dialed the number and pressed the phone to your face. The phone rang out for what seemed like forever before the tone of the voicemail came through. You ended the call and dropped the phone onto your bed, turning on your heel with red eyes and tears running down your cheek.

You stared down his two best friends. “What. The. Hell. Happened?” You spoke slowly and your voice was low. Sam gulped but continued to explain.

“When we got to Mosul, everything was going as planned. We infiltrated the Hydra base and took them out fairly easily.”

“Why does this matter?” You just needed to know about Bucky.

Steve spoke up next, “When we moved to Kirkuk to take out the next base they were more than ready. We were trapped, Bucky was separated from the three of us. There was nothing we could do.” more tears fell onto your cheeks, “we tried y/n. We really did. Bucky tried but it was too late.”

“What happened?” Your voice broke.

Sam looked down and rubbed the back of his neck nervously before looking you dead in the eye, “he was activated.”

Your hand covered your mouth wordlessly as you shook your head in shock. “No… no. That’s- that’s not possible. Shuri wiped it all out. It was gone.”

“That’s what we all thought.” You sat down ceremoniously onto the edge of your bed.

Your hair fell around your face. You whispered, “What happened when he was… you know… the winter soldier.” You had to force back the physical gag at the thought of him being that.

“After he was activated, they opened up the barrier between us and he attacked us. We tried to contain him so we could get Bucky back but with Hydra on us too, it was nearly impossible. Me and Sam were stuck dealing with all the agents and Bucky…” Steve sighed heavily, “He went face to face with Peter.”

Your eyes widened significantly.

“They were a pretty even match. Peter is stronger than Steve so we weren’t too worried but… when a super soldier is being brainwashed, they become even stronger. Me and Steve were pretty much done with the agents and we saw that Bucky was holding Peter up by his throat, strangling him. It took all of our strength to pull him off.”

Your eyes darted to the door, “peter. Is he….?

“He’s okay. He knows it wasn’t Bucky but it was still a scary experience. Once we got Bucky back, he wouldn’t even look the kid in the eyes and he barely talked to us. He blames himself.”

You finished the thought, “so he went to Wakanda to see if they could fix it.”

“Yeah…” Sam and Steve shared a look, “There’s one other thing. Bucky said that this activation was different from the rest.”

“How so?”

“Well they used different words, so it was a different programming all together.”

“So even if the winter soldier was wiped out, this other thing wasn’t.”

You sighed and ran your hands over your eyes, “So it wasn’t that Shuri missed it. It’s that they didn’t even know it existed.” You looked at the two boys, “so hydra programmed him twice…”

“Not actually.” Natasha’s voice was sharp as she entered your room with a tablet in hand. “That second base wasn’t Hydra.” Everyone looked at her confused, “they were disguised as Hydra. They knew you guys were out wiping out the bases and used the cover of a hydra agency to lure you in. That was Leviathan, the original red room. It was the thing that made Dottie Underwood the first black widow even though that wasn’t their official name.”

You looked to her, “the first black widow? When was this?”

“The 1940s.” Steve’s breath hitched. Natasha continued, “There are 20 years unaccounted for when Bucky was supposedly kidnapped to when the first winter soldier siting was.”

“You think he spent those twenty years with this Leviathan?” Sam asked

“No, not all of it.” Natasha projected some numbers and files from her tablet onto your wall, “He was first captured by Leviathan and then brainwashed and established as a tool after 5 years. They called him the Recluse.”

“How do we know this?”

Natasha narrowed her eyes at Sam, “because I know everything. And…” she flipped through another file, “Peggy Carter had a run in with him.” Steve’s eyes widened. “She had an encounter with a younger girl named Eva who killed some of her agents, she followed Eva secretly alone for a while and found that she was one of 3 ‘assets’. Bucky being the first and the oldest.”

“Why isn’t this on any files or anything?” Sam asked.

“It was. But as she tried to find and rescue him, he was gone. We don’t know exactly how Bucky went from that to Hydra but he did.”

“And then when Hydra was SHIELD, they wiped the file.” Sam guess and Natasha confirmed that.

You didn’t speak for a while. “Does Bucky know this?” Everyone’s head snapped towards you, “Does Bucky remember that?”

Natasha shrugged, “if he did he didn’t tell anyone.”

“But he knew this one was different, right?” You looked back towards Steve and Sam and they nodded. “So we need to get this information to Shuri and T’Challa.” you moved to grab the tablet but Natasha pulled her hand away and Sam stood in front of you. You narrowed your eyes, “What are you doing?”

“I already sent the information to them. Now we just need to wait.” Natasha leveled.

“Wait?!” You repeated, “You expect me to wait?! My boyfriend almost murdered his best friends and now is getting his brain tested and you expect me to sit and wait?!” You didn’t wait for as response as you stormed out of the room and towards the training room, needing to blow off steam and knowing that they wouldn’t follow you.

You spent hours crying and destroying a punching bag before anyone approached you. You heard them the minute they walked through the door but waited til they were a step behind you to turn around and swing. The boy ducked. Peter.

You breathed heavily as you stared at the young adult. 20 years old now. You shook your head, “What do you want?”

“I want to go help Bucky.” You froze.

“What?”

“The guys told me what happened and I agree with you. He deserves to have people there with him who know him and share memories with him. Obviously they won’t agree to it and I can’t fly the quinjet. So I need you to take me to Wakanda. Ready?”

You walked over to the bench and began to unwrap your hands, “look peter… I appreciate what you’re trying to do but I’m not going to take you to Wakanda.”

“But you are going, right?” You looked at him out of the corner of your eye. He barked out a laugh, “y/n you can’t fool me. I know that look, I’ve had that look. I know you’re going so might as well take me. Oh and Wanda.”

“Wanda? She’s not even here.”

“Yeah she is. She and vision just got back and I filled her all in and she thinks that they are crazy. She’s getting packed as we speak.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, “peter we are NOT going to Wakanda tonight. And that’s that.”

~.~

“Ready to go?” you whispered as both Peter and Wanda crawled aboard the quinjet.

“Yep!” peter said with a big smile as Wanda nodded with a yawn.

“We have less than two minutes to get this bird in the air before the others will be notified.” you looked to peter, “that means I need your help. You have to wait outside the quinjet and manually open the door. Once we are out, Wanda I need you to cut the holds on the wheels with your powers and then Peter swing on up to us and we’ll let you in. Understood?” they both nodded, “Awesome. Let’s go get our Buck.”

~.~

The alarm sounded too late for the sleeping avengers too do anything. Natasha was the first one up and in the common room, being a light sleeper due to the dangers of her job. Steve was right behind her, trailing a little slowly but still active.

“Friday what’s going on?” Tony asked as he bounded into the room

“It seems that Ms. y/l/n, Mr. Parker, and Ms. Maximoff have stolen a quinjet.” Everyone let out a small sigh of relief knowing that at least no one was in immediate danger.

“You couldn’t stop them?”

“They did not activate any machinery until they took off, therefor I was not notified of any suspicious activity.”

“Can you track them?” Steve asked while running a hand over his eyes

“Unfortunately not. They seemed to have gone incognito. I will not be able to find them until they want us to find them.” Stark slumped slightly and looked at Steve, Natasha, and Sam who just came in.

“Any idea where they would have gone?”

Sam and Steve shared a look. Natasha answered for them, “Wakanda.”

Tony rolled his eyes, “Friday call T’Challa.”

“Yes sir. Connecting you to him now.”

“Stark?”

Tony ran a hand through his hair, “yeah hey cat man.” T’Challa scoffed, “We have some people on their way to you to visit a certain Popsicle.”

“Sergeant Barnes?”

“Yeah. Y/n, Wanda, and peter are on their way in a quinjet.” Steve said back.

“But Sergeant Barnes requested no visitors.” Shuri’s voice came through. “Steve he told you that directly.”

“I know that. I told them not to go, they just took off in a quinjet.”

“And you cannot summon it back?” Shuri lowered her voice, “some technology you have.”

“They’ve gone incognito, princess.” Natasha explained, “We aren’t entirely sure they’re even headed to Wakanda. It was just a guess.”

“Well, Sergeant Barnes is still awake and moving. We haven’t begun treatment yet. I’m letting him rest for a few days. Should we send them back?”

“I think that’s Bucky’s call.” Sam supplied.

“Well any and all of you are welcomed here any time. We will call you back if they make an appearance.”

“Thank you T’Challa, Shuri.” The phone call ended with an audible click and the avengers all looked to each other.

“What are we gonna do?”

Tony put his tablet on a nearby table and stalked back towards his room, “I’m going back to bed. We can’t stop them now. We’ll get a good night’s rest and head out to Wakanda tomorrow.”

“Alright fine. Everyone be ready to leave by 8 in the morning.”

“Sir yes sir capsicle.”

~.~

“What can I do for you princess?” Sam asked groggily as he answered his phone

“They never arrived.”

“What? Who?” Sam pushed himself into a sitting position and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

“Y/n. She never arrived.” That woke him up.

“Shit. Okay thanks Shuri.” Sam jumped out of bed and bounded towards Steve’s room. He knocked aggressively and waited rather impatiently outside the door for Steve to open it, wearing nothing but sweatpants.

“What do you want Sam? It’s 5 in the morning.”

“Shuri just called saying that y/n never arrived. Where else would they have gone?” his words came out panicked and scared.

Steve’s eyes widened but he remained calm, “let’s talk to Tony. I’m sure there is something we can do.”

The two of them walked quickly to Tony’s sweet and knocked on the door. He arrived a little too quickly for him to have just woken up. He walked past them wordlessly.

“Follow me, I just got the call.”

“How can we find them?”

“The only thing that I might be able to do is tap into Peter’s suit but even then… I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Steve asked waving his hands around, “don’t you track that boy?”

“I used to but when he became an adult, he’s free to make his own decisions.” Steve groaned and ran a hand through his hair. “Calm down cap, I’m still gonna try.”

Tony sat down on the swivel chair in front of a computer and leaned back casually. “Friday. Look alive baby, we’ve got work to do.” he stared up at the projections that were appearing in front of him. “Fri, start the coffee machine… this is gonna be a rough one.”

~.~

“Y/n!” Wanda whispered harshly as the plane touched down in what was not Wakanda. “Y/n! What are we doing here?”

You stormed past her as you holstered a few guns, “getting answers.” Peter grabbed your arm as you hurried past, forcing you to face him.

“Y/n this isn’t the way to do this.”

You snarled at the boy, “let me go Peter. I have things to do.”

Wanda stepped forward, “Like what? What on earth could this possibly achieve?”

“Closure!” you screamed back, tears threatening to spill over. “Fucking closure! The knowledge that there isn’t anyone out there who could cause Bucky to go through this all over again! He’s had enough.”

“We know.” Wanda’s voice was soft, her eyes filled with sorrow for you. “Y/n… we know.”

“That’s why he’s in Wakanda. So they can help him. That’s why we need to go to Wakanda.”

“But they missed it before!” you thrashed your arms around violently, “who says they won’t miss it again?”

“Is there anything else to miss?” Peter asked, his big brown eyes looking into your y/e/c ones.

“That’s the thing Pete, I don’t know.” Your voice broke slightly, “And Bucky doesn’t know. And neither of you know. And Natasha doesn’t know. Even shield doesn’t fucking know! Nobody but those people that put this evil in him know that it’s there.” You took a calming breath, “There is no other way to be sure.”

Wanda frowned but nodded, “you’re the one in charge here. I’m not happy with it but…” she hesitated slightly, “I’ll still follow you.”

Peter groaned and threw his head back, “well I won’t! I don’t want to do this. I just wanted to see Bucky and tell him that I forgive him and that it’s alright. I didn’t want to do this. My abilities are practically useless here!”

You had flown the quinjet back to Iraq, where the boys had been previously stationed, and where you tracked him down. Yesikov Makrovich. The last known operator of this Leviathan.

You bit back your anger towards Peter. He was right in a sense. You had lied to your friends and dragged them along on a dangerous mission for your own selfish purposes but you couldn’t help it! You just wanted to sleep in the same bed as your boyfriend without fearing for his sanity. You looked to Peter, “fine then. You stay here with the quinjet. Protect this with your life and we’ll be back within the hour.”

You and Wanda departed the jet and watched as peter closed the door. Wanda moved some trees around it with her powers to hide it better now that they weren’t incognito. You turned and began to walk quickly towards a crumbling building. You pulled the mask over your face and pulled the guns from your built. Time to shot shit down.

~.~

“Where could they be?!” After hours of trying to reach peter’s suit Tony was unsuccessful. The three boys sat hopelessly in the room, struggling to find another solution when a red dot suddenly pinged on the world map. It was the jet. Tony shot into a standing position and zoomed in on the location marker.

“They’re in Iraq.” Tony said confused, “Why would they go to Iraq.”

Sam scratched his head, “Well that is where our mission took place.”

“You think y/n would track down that guy?” Steve asked as he leaned against the desk.

Tony shook his head slightly, “I mean it sounds like her but… Wanda and Peter would never agree to it.”

Sam closed his eyes, “maybe… maybe they didn’t agree to it.” He opened his eyes to see the other two men looking on in confusion, “We all know how y/n gets around Bucky so it’s not that farfetched of an idea that she might lie about where they’re going to satisfy her own agenda.”

“Let’s call the jet.” Tony stated and turned around to face a control panel. He clicked a few buttons and waited with heavy breath as it connected him to the aircraft.

“Mr. Stark?”

Tony let out the breath, “Hey kid. Glad to see someone picked up.”

“Are you mad?”

Tony let out a humorless chuckle, “no no… I’m very mad but I’m glad that you’re okay. Where are y/n and Wanda?”

“They left the ship about thirty minutes ago.”

“To do what?” Sam asked sternly

“I’m not entirely sure. I thought we were headed to Wakanda.” Sam gave a smirk to Steve, “but I know she’s after the guy that did this to Bucky. I don’t know who it is though and she didn’t say the name.”

“What are you doing in the quinjet by yourself then?”

“I didn’t want to help this way, plus I really can’t do much out here.”

“Okay well I want to stay on the line with you until y/n comes back, I don’t want to miss her.”

“Yeah… sure.” A few minutes of silence passed before a lot of noises exploded inside the cabin of the jet.

“Peter?” tony asked worried, “you alright?”

“Y/n!” Peter ignored Tony, “What the hell do you think you’re doing.”

You glared at the boy and dragged the unconscious man to a corner of the quinjet. “Getting answers. Peter, I’m gonna set the jet to autopilot and you are going to stay up here.”

“What? Y/n?”

You passed by him to the controls and quickly set it up. You glanced back at the young boy. Too young. “Peter. I mean it, stay here.” Peter just nodded as you headed back into the large ship and found yourself hidden behind a wall.

“Peter?”

“She’s back.”

Tony sighed, “Yeah I figured. She has that guy with her?” Peter just nodded into the video call. Tony shook his head.

A loud grunt and bang came from the other room causing Peter to cringe and fight his instinct to go look at it. He settled into the large pilot chair and just found solace in his mentor’s presence.

With you in the other room, it was a frightening scene. You had tied up the man and placed him on one of the seats. His bloodied face lolled to one side and then the other as he slowly woke up. He blinked a few times before a sinister grin broke out onto his face. Wanda stood a few feet behind you with her arms cross, eyes narrowed. You stooped down to the man’s eye level and forced him to look at you.

“James Barnes.” Your words came out harsh and cracked.

The man clicked his tongue, “What a good soldier that man was.” You blinked back harsh tears and forced yourself to look at the man.

“Tell me what you put in his head.” The man just smiled larger. Your fist connected with his face before you could ask him again. He groaned lowly but eventually looked right back up at your face, the only new addition being a small dribble of blood running down his forehead. “What. did you. put. in his. head.” You spoke the words between clenched teeth. The man didn’t speak.

You were tempted to throw hands again, to literally knock both some sense into him and the answers out of him. But instead you stood up, wiping your hands on your suit and looking to Wanda, giving her a small nod.

“You made the wrong choice.” You spoke softly, “I was the good cop.” You saw the brief flash of fear in the man’s eyes as Wanda stepped forward, her eyes beginning to glow red.

The man fought against her powers for a brief second before giving in. Wanda smirked as she was given a clear search through his head. She stopped it a moment later and the man let out a deep breath, panting heavily. She turned to you and whispered, “He was the first one who found Bucky and he actually passed them off to Hydra once they got the Black Widow program started.”

You let out a breath of relief. This was it. This was the last thing inside of his head. You finally began to breath properly again. You turned on your heel and took a few steps towards the man who looked winded. You smirked at him, “thanks for the help.” And with that you socked him across the face, knocking him out cold. You grabbed a small rag and wiped your knuckles clean of his blood, walking back to the cockpit. Peter was chewing on his thumbnail nervously.

“Stark.” You gave the man a curt nod before taking your place behind the wheel.

“Y/n, what were you thinking?” You didn’t answer the man. “Are you gonna answer me?” Your eyes flitted to the picture of Tony Stark before going back to the controls where you took the plane off of autopilot.

Peter spoke up slightly, “Why don’t we call you back later?”

“No, Peter we need to talk about this. Y/n what you—“ You turned off the video with a small sigh and relaxed back into your seat slightly. Peter timidly looked behind him, barely seeing the form of the slumped over man.

“He’s just unconscious, don’t worry kid.” You said knowing what his unuttered question was. You sighed slightly and flipped the autopilot on once more. You turned to face peter, “I don’t think I was ever going to kill him. I just wanted some answers and for him to be brought to justice.”

“What are you going to do with him?”

“I’m gonna let T’Challa deal with him. Speaking of…” You glanced at the map, “We’re about thirty minutes out so get ready.”

~.~

Bucky sat on the edge of his bed, his fingers fiddling with his phone. He had meant to call you the minute he got it back, he had been thinking of it the entire time he was on the mission. But then that happened and he just felt so… dirty. He didn’t deserve you. You deserved the world and all you got was some lowlife criminal who brought death to everything he touched. He sighed and tossed his phone onto his pillow, running his hands through his tangled hair. He needed to get it cut.

He smiled slightly at the thought of you running your hands over his scalp before tugging gently and commenting on how long it had gotten. Are you gonna keep it? You always asked for his opinion before passing your own judgment. Bucky was undecided on his hair. He used to always keep it long, not wanting to risk showing his face to any professional. But now… now he had the safety and the time and the want to take care of it.

There was a light knock on his door. He sat up and walked to it, unlocking the door and opening it. His eyes widened at the sight of Queen Nakia and Okoye on the other side.

Bucky smiled politely as the queen got straight to business, “There is a situation.”

Bucky fought back the grimace, not wanting to get involved in anything serious before he goes back in cryo. “How can I help?”

“Y/n is on her way. She’s about ten minutes out.” Bucky’s eyes bulged out of his head.

“What… what? Why is she coming here?”

“She found out from your colleagues about what happened. We actually expected her last night but she never arrived. We just got word from Stark that she…” Nakia hesitated. Okoye stepped up.

“She tracked down and captured the man that caused all this damage. She has him in his custody and is turning him over to us.” Okoye sighed slightly, “We are telling you this because she has requested to see you.”

“Do not worry Sergeant Barnes, if you do not wish to see her then you will not. However, I doubt Shuri will continue on with Cryo until she knows more about this. It may take a few days, even weeks.”

“Thank you Queen Nakia. Okoye.” Bucky nodded to both of the women before shutting the door and flopping onto his bed. He wanted to see you, he really did but not when he felt like this. He heard loud turbines and looked out the window to see the quinjet landing smoothly on the flight deck. You were driving. His heart strings were pulled as he saw you through the small dirty window swipe some hair out of your face. You stood up and strode to the back of the quinjet. Bucky sighed once more, not knowing what to do.

It boiled down to like three options: he could go out and greet you on the small runway with the royals of Wakanda, he could wait and see if the guards can keep you from his room, or more likely you would show up at his door anyways. Bucky sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

He watched through the clear glass as Wanda exited the plane, a small backpack thrown over her shoulder. Bucky’s chest tightened as Peter stepped out next, his mask dangling between his fingers as he followed behind Wanda closely. Bucky waited with stilled breath as his eyes searched for your frame. A startled gasp escaped his lips as a man stumbled out of the jet, his hands bound behind his back and traces of blood across his face. You stepped out next, the top of your uniform folded down around your hips, a thin tank top covering your torso. You kept pushing the man forward until two of the Dora Milaje stepped forward and took the man out of your grasp. Bucky watched as you and Shuri shared a small hug before you went to shake T’Challa’s hand in greeting. He gestured for you, Wanda, and Peter to follow him into the palace. Bucky felt his breathing pick up as he thought of the fact that you were suddenly going to be in the vicinity of him.

His chest moved up and down rapidly as he thought about what happen. What happened on that dreadful mission. How he lost control, again. How no matter how much help he seeks he will never be normal. He will never be safe. He’ll hurt you. Just like he hurt peter. Oh god, Peter. Bucky’s hands gripped at his hair as he couldn’t get rid of the image of peter struggling in his grasp and choking for air. The bruises that peppered the young boy’s neck caused tears to fall out of Bucky’s eyes. He didn’t want to hurt anyone else. He just wanted to rest, to be free. To be actually free. To have nothing, absolutely nothing, inside his head. He was tired of being someone else’s soldier instead of being his own. He had already hurt too many of his teammates, his friends, his family. And he would kill himself if he ever hurt you. You were the best thing that ever happened to him and he’d be a wreck if he ever lost you, let alone if he was the reason you were gone.

Bucky let out a shaky breath. She’s probably disgusted by me. She’ll never want to touch me, to have me touch her. She’ll want me dead for hurting Peter. She’ll be so angry and disappointed that I let-”

A light knock on the door broke Bucky out of his train of thought. Bucky didn’t respond, too afraid of who was behind that door. Another small knock came, this one just a tad louder but nowhere near aggressive. “Bucky?” it was you. Bucky sucked in a sharp breath of air, his eyes fluttering to the door. His vision was blurry with unshed tears. He heard you sigh, “Bucky, I’m not going to come in if you don’t want me to. Just know that… sigh, I’m here. Okay? I’m right here for you.” A heavy pause, “I’ll be upstairs in the guest quarters if you need me, okay? If you need anything.” You waited a moment to see if he would respond but nothing came. Bucky just stared at the door until he heard your footsteps disappear slowly. He waited until you were out of ear shot to slowly get up and move to the door. He rested his flesh hand on the doorknob, contemplating if he should open the door or not. Should he go after you? Should he stay? Bucky let go and slid to the floor, his back pressed against the wood. He dropped his head into his hands. He didn’t know who he was anymore.

~.~

You didn’t see Bucky that entire day. You knew he was shaken up and maybe it wasn’t the best idea to sneak away to Wakanda but you’d be damned if you weren’t there for your boyfriend in every way possible. Wanda and Peter spent most of their time in the lab with Shuri, after they had showered and napped of course. You however, you hadn’t even sat down yet. You stole some light sweatpants and with the dirty tank top you were wearing earlier you took to the palace’s gym. You had wrapped and taped your hands tightly a few minutes ago and now you were pounding away at a punching bag. You grunted with each punch and hair flew out of your ponytail every time you moved.

“I see you have found the gym, Ms. y/l/n.” You sighed lightly and pushed the fallen strands of hair out of your face.

You nodded your head at the new person that entered, “Queen Nakia, how are you today?”

She smiled and took a few steps forward, “I’m wonderful. The sun is shining brightly, and the crops are being harvested as we speak, it is a good day in Wakanda. How are you doing?”

You continued to avoid her eyeline, walking over to the wall where your phone and water bottle sat. You shrugged slightly as you crouched down, beginning to unwrap your hands. “I’m doing okay.”

Nakia scoffed slightly and walked over to you, standing near your body. “Oh I can see that. It’s been six hours since you’ve arrived, and you still haven’t showered.”

You threw the sweaty wraps onto the floor as you stood, now standing eye to eye with the young queen. “why would I shower if I wanted to work out?”

She countered you easily, “Why workout when you could take care of yourself?” You just looked away, grabbing your bottle. “I know you are upset and stressed at the moment but think about what Sergeant Barnes is going through.”

You forced yourself to calm down and nodded, “I know I’m trying to. It’s just hard to see someone you love going through something this hard.” You looked at her with watery eyes, “I just didn’t want him to go through it alone.”

She smiled at you, “I understand completely. However, you cannot speak to me and say these words as if you were not acting on a selfish thought as well.”

You huffed and ran your hand through your hair, “of course I was acting on a selfish thought! I wanted to see him before he went into cryo. He’s my boyfriend for god’s sake! I just… I thought he would want to see me as well.”

She laid a gentle hand on your upper arm, “I promise you that he wants to see you… he’s just a little lost at the moment. The mission took its toll on him.”

You sighed, “I know.”

“You know, sergeant Barnes is a wonderful man.” You smiled and nodded at her words. You did know. Nakia continued, “I talked with him for a few minutes when he first arrived, trying to make sure he was comfortable. Of course, he is very familiar with our palace due to the time he spent here a few years ago but I was just being friendly.” She gestured to a bench nearby, “would you like to take a seat.”

You nodded and followed her to the bench, sitting down carefully and taking a sip of water as you listened to the graceful words of the queen.

She smiled at you, “He ended up opening up to me mostly out of pure exhaustion from keeping it in. He was embarrassed that he was activated again, and ashamed. He was mad at himself for hurting Mr. Parker and putting his friends in danger. He was also mad that there was yet another thing out of control, he thought that he finally had a handle on his life.” She sighed slightly, “he was also scared. He was scared that he would hurt you or that you would hate him for what he did.”

You shook your head furiously, “I could never hate him.”

Nakia smiled at you, “he knows that, he does. It’s just… not his most thought of idea at the moment. Right now, anger and confusion cloud his brain and his judgement. You just need to give him time. However… while you are waiting you need to take care of yourself. That way when he’s ready to talk to you, you’re ready to listen.”

You nodded and smiled at Nakia, “thank you so much Nakia. Who knew that talking is a much better way to clear your head than punching something.”

Nakia laughed gently, “while I think Okoye would disagree with you, I am very happy that I could be helpful. I’ll have someone send up a fresh pair of clothes for you, so you can get out of that dirty shirt.”

You looked down at the sweaty tank top and laughed slightly before grimacing, “yeah when I get frustrated I tend to not care about appearance.” Nakia laughed as the two of you walked out of the large gym.

~.~

Bucky did come to you later that night, when you were up reading a book you found in T’Challa’s extensive library. It was a small knock on the door, one you almost didn’t hear until his heavy breath made his presence known. You unlocked the door quickly and pulled him into a hug.

You quickly pulled away though, “I’m sorry I should’ve asked first. How are you—” Bucky cut you off as he wrapped his strong arms around you and held you close. You reciprocated the hug with as much love as you could. You felt his cold tears drip onto the top of your head and you pulled away slightly to cup his face and wipe them away.

You spent the next three hours just listening to Bucky talk, wiping away the few stray tears that fell or pushing his hair back behind his ear. He sometimes would trail off and you would just reassure him that everything was okay. That he wasn’t scaring you away or pushing you from him. That you were right here, and you were gonna stay right here.

It ended with the two of you cuddled close on the bed, his arms wrapped protectively around you as you laid your head on his chest.

“I’m sorry.” He said for what was probably the millionth time.

You huffed slightly and pulled away to look at his face, “stop apologizing Buck. You know I don’t blame you.”

He nodded tightly, “I know… I just feel the need to apologize.”

You sighed and cupped his cheek gently, “okay then. I forgive you. Even though I don’t think there is anything to forgive, just know that I forgive you 100%. I’m not mad at you, I’m not angry with you. There is no frustration or resentment in my heart. I just want you to be okay.”

He smiled at you and pressed a light kiss to your palm, “I’m getting there. Much better now that you are here though, Doll.”

You smiled and ran your hair through his scalp tugging on his locks gently. You bit your lip, “it’s getting so long.” He smiled at you and your predictability. “are you gonna keep it?”

Bucky shrugged and squeezed your hip slightly, “I don’t know yet.”

You smiled and ran your hand through it again, “well just know that I think you are handsome either way.”

He pressed a loving kiss to your lips, “thanks doll.”

You pressed another one to his in return, “of course. It’s a yes by the way.” He raised his eyebrow in confusion as you giggled slightly.

You didn’t want to bring it up, wanting instead to let him think that he would surprise you, but you couldn’t hold it anymore. You just loved him too much.

“what’s a yes?” He asked, confusion still evident on his face.

You rolled your eyes, “to your proposal. It’s a yes. I will marry you.”

His eyebrows shot up, “how did you know about that?”

You giggled again, “you aren’t very good at hiding the ring.”

He laughed with you before kissing you passionately, “it’s a yes?”

You laughed and nodded, kissing him again. “It’s a hell yes.”

He sighed as he pressed his forehead against yours, closing his eyes contently. You frowned slightly, “I didn’t mean to give it away or take away your proposal. I just got really excited.”

He laughed, “it’s okay. I was pretty sure that I was gonna botch the proposal anyway. I always get so nervous. Plus, if this wasn’t the most us way to propose then I don’t know what is.”

You laughed and nodded again, “very true. I love you James Barnes.”

He smiled and kissed you again, “and I love you future Ms. James Barnes.”

You scoffed, “that’s Ms. James y/l/n-Barnes.”

He smiled and nodded, “you’re damn right it is.”

~.~

You, Wanda, and Peter ended up staying in Wakanda for a week before Bucky was scheduled to go back into cryo. You stood in a long corridor with him, the two of you looking out a large window at the beautiful Wakandan scenery.

He nudged your shoulder with his, “it’ll only be four months.”

You sighed, “that’s easy for you to say… you’ll be asleep for three of them.”

“two and a half but I’ll still miss you.”

You glanced up at him with watery eyes causing him to pull you into his side, pressing a soft kiss to your head. “I’m gonna miss you so much.”

“Do me a favor and wear the ring while I’m gone.”

You gave him a watery laugh and smiled, “of course.”

“Bucky, we’re ready for you!” Shuri called from the end of the hallway. Bucky nodded at her and turned to walk, pulling you with him. You held onto his flesh arm tightly as the two of you went to the medical wing. The two of you paused as you came across the machine.

Bucky stopped and turned to look at you, cupping your face in his hands. “I’ll see you soon okay?” You nodded. He leaned down and pressed a loving kiss to your lips, your hands resting on his waist and gripping his shirt tightly.

He pulled away before pressing another small kiss to your forehead. You smiled at him, “how about when you come home you can propose to me for real and we’ll get your hair cut.”

He smiled at you as he shook his head fondly, “sounds like a plan.” He pressed another quick kiss to your lips as Shuri cleared her throat. “I’ve gotta go. Dr. Shuri is getting impatient.”

You laughed slightly as Shuri rolled her eyes. You nodded sadly as he let go of your face and walked over to the machine. You knew that this was for the better and that he was safe but a part of you was scared of losing him again. You waved to him as he stepped in and waiting until the door closed, and the small window was covered to turn around and walk back to the quinjet where Wanda and Peter were waiting for you.

Wanda smiled gently at you as you walked on, “you doing okay?”

You sighed as you sat down in the pilot seat, “I am, because I know he’s gonna be okay.”

~.~

“is that an engagement ring?!” Sam’s shriek filled the entire tower. You just facepalmed.

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the-lupine-sojourner · 5 years

Note

Hello! If you're still comfortable with writing for emergency requests could you please write Izuku comforting his s/o who's parents are going through a really rocky divorce? It just got really rough with them tonight, they started yelling and blaming me for it. Totally fine if you're not comfortable though!

I am accepting Emergency Requests, yes, Anon. I am so sorry to hear that you’re going through a tough time.

I have not had any experience with divorce myself, personally or through any of my friends, but I do know that it is not your fault, no matter how many times people tell you that. I know this situation is tough, and I hope this helps, at least a little. Feel free to message me, if you feel comfortable, if you need to talk or another request, okay?

God Bless and Good Day!

~The Lupine Sojourner

(figured you'd like to see this adorable smile 😅)

You hadn't mentioned a whole about your personal life to Izuku, preferring to leave him in the dark about your parents’ situation, which was rapidly getting worse. Even after you two began dating, you didn’t want to burden him. After all, the relationship was only a few months old. No need to burden this sweet, amazing child with something like this.

That being said, you knew you couldn’t keep this to yourself any longer. Not after your shitty night. With tear-blurred vision and shaky hands, you pushed talk. He picked up quickly, as usual. “Hey, Y/N!” He cheered, happy as always to hear your voice, and there was that typical almost nervous edge to it he still hadn’t been able to control. You swallow to try to make your voice sound more normal.

“H-hey, Izuku...um...can we go somewhere? Anywhere? I just…” You broke, hating the sound of Izuku gasping in shock. You never wanted to hurt him, but you needed to see him.

“Oh, oh of course, Y/N! What’s wrong?! Did someone hurt you!?” You sniffle, wiping your eyes. He was so sweet to be this concerned.

“N-no...kinda...it’s just...I need to- -I need to go somewhere with you…” You whimper. Normally, you did your level best to remain fairly composed and focused on school to avoid questions. But not now...not now.

“Okay. I’ll be there in about ten minutes. Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?” You swallow again, wishing the lump in your throat would go away.

“Y-yeah. I just...yeah, I’m okay.” You reply.

“You don’t sound okay. Do you need me to stay on the phone?” You considered, biting your lip. It would help, but no. You couldn´t ask him to do that.

“No, I think I’ll be okay. I’m sorry to bother- -”

“Y/N, you’re not bothering me. I promise. I’ll be there as soon as possible, okay? Just hold on.” You nod.

“Okay. I love you.” You murmur, wiping your eyes again. You hadn´t said it often, but you meant it, every time.

“I love you, too. Drink a big glass of water. All of it, and wash your face, but don’t rub it dry. Pat only. Okay?” Having a task to do gave you some control of yourself again.

“Okay. See you soon. I’ll text you my address.”

“Thank you. See you soon, Y/N.” Izuku replies, hesitating just a second or two, but then he hung up and you stood. Thankfully, you happened to have a fairly big glass in your room and an attached bathroom, so you wouldn’t have to face your warring parents again.

About a year ago, things began to shift with no one knowing what precisely caused the rift, but it was far too wide and jagged to repair or bridge now. So now, your parents were meeting with lawyers and arguing constantly. You were almost thankful you didn’t have siblings. Almost because you want company, but you also wouldn’t want to force your siblings through this hell.

It was bad enough you were dragging your boyfriend into this. At this point, you didn’t care about Izuku knowing just how crappy your personal life was, a fear you’d held due to the demons in your head whispering that if he knew, he’d break things off, gnawing away at any thought of telling him before it could be properly considered. Now you had no choice. You had to take that dive.

Things had gotten so bad, your parents took their anger, bitterness, and frustrations out on you, claiming you were the reason they were in this mess and the reason they were going their separate ways. You hadn´t been able to reply, racing away and up to your room, already sobbing.

=#=#=#=#=

Izuku texted you about ten minutes after you called him, as promised, and you snuck out through the back door, your parents oblivious in the living room. He hugged you tight, kissing your cheek as he takes your situation in. “What’s wrong?” He asks, eying the door as a particularly loud shout rang out, barely audible so far from the living room. His gentle hands cupped your face, eyes searching for hints of abuse or whatever happened in your face. You put your hands over his, already feeling a small tiny bit better. You keep holding one hand and lead him away toward a nearby park.

“Well, about a year ago, something, and none of us can pinpoint what, changed and my parents just...started getting more and more toxic around each other, and then they started dragging me into things, and now...they’re going their separate ways. Last night was the worst I’ve ever seen, and they told me I was to blame for all that went wrong in their marriage, and it hit me really hard, and…” You started crying again, clutching Izuku’s jacket. His arms slowly came around you as you halted and cried into his chest. He held you, unable to think of anything to say for a while. Gently, he transitioned to a side-hug and led you toward the park.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. I should have realized how bad things at your house were. You always kept to yourself, and I should have figured it out sooner.” He apologizes, and you look at him in shock as you near a bench. You sit Izuku down, leaning over to cup his face like he had done earlier.

“Izuku, you couldn’t have known, cus I decided not to tell anyone. I figured it’d be easier than dealing with the drama of everyone my parents were divorcing. I’m sorry. I should have told you.” Izuku pulls you down and hugs you.

“Y/N, you are so strong and brave to go through this alone, but you need to let people help you when you’re struggling.” He then leans out just enough to look you in the eyes. “But, if you don’t want me to, I won’t tell anyone what’s going on, okay? That is entirely your choice.” You loved this boy more every day, you swore. You leaned in for a quick kiss.

“I really appreciate that, Izuku. I would rather not have this spread all over the school, thank you.” Izuku nods, drawing you in again.

“Okay. Do you want to go somewhere else, or do you want to stay here?” You sigh.

“I’d rather just stay here, if that’s okay.” Izuku nods.

“Okay.” He nuzzles your temple a little.

After a while, he suggested they move to a little hill and stargaze. You and Izuku passed a pleasant few hours just laying there, point out the few constellations you both knew and whichever stars looked particularly amazing. With Izuku here, you almost forgot what waited for you when you got home.

You swore you’d marry this boy someday. Someday soon...and that thought gave you enough strength to not feel fear creeping back into your house after Izuku kissed you goodnight.

For the first time in a long time, you felt truly happy and slept without nightmares or constantly waking up.

I really hope this helps a little, Anon! Hang in there! You’re not to blame, and you are an amazing person! Please always remember that you are not in any way to blame and you are awesome!

#fanfiction #bnha #mha #izuku midoriya x reader #izuku x reader #izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #bnha izuku #mha izuku #izuku #lupine answers

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scrawnydutchman · 6 years

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‘Inside Out’ Movie Review

*NOTE: The following review contains major spoilers, highlighted in bold letters for readers convenience. If you haven’t seen the film yet, skip past the bold letter segments and come back to read them once you HAVE seen the film for my full thoughts.*

Now I know what you’re thinking. Why in the hell am I putting up a review for a film that’s close to three years old now? Well, here’s a little context. Those of you internet surfers may have seen this little meme float around the web recently:

Everybody has their own opinions on this and there’s good reason why it’s trending. It’s a legitimately fun discussion to hear about everyone’s favorite movies from the “happiest” company on earth. For anybody curious on what I think, HERE’S the version of the meme I created:

*the distinct lack of any and all Emperor’s New Groove and/or Hunchback of Notre Dame is a crime against cinema*

You’ll notice how Finding Nemo beat Inside Out in the first round, and next to the bracket for Inside Out I wrote “never saw it: may change later”. Well, after family and friends highly recommended I sit down and see it, I’m here to tell you that now that I’ve seen Inside Out . My opinion . . . has not changed. Finding Nemo beats it. Easily in fact. Let me explain why, starting with Story.

Story:

Synopsis: Inside the minds of every human being resides five emotions: Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust. These emotions have a duty to protect their human from danger and guide them through life. We follow the inner workings of a little girl named Riley’s psyche in which Joy has taken the leadership role to make sure every day of Riley’s life is a good one. She maintains Riley’s optimism and makes sure nothing gets in the way of her happy life by keeping Sadness on a leash. Things change though when a challenging time in Riley’s life occurs; she and her family move to San Francisco. Joy struggles to keep Riley’s optimism up and inevitably she and sadness get removed from headquarters, leaving the rest of the gang to try and do Joy’s job while she’s away (and failing at it). Can Joy and Sadness get back to headquarters in time to save Riley and make sure she can be happy again?

This movie is infinitely praised for being one of Pixar’s most creative and original films,and to be fair it’s not hard to see why. It’s a very outside the box idea that’s rarely been explored before and this movie explores it in a way only Pixar can come up with. It also has a lot of fun with demonstrating real life psychological concepts in a way that feels very fresh.

It also has a moral lesson that’s both original for a kids film and absolutely necessary for children to learn. Accepting that sadness and other negative emotions are not only a part of life but an ESSENTIAL part of life is a pill most people, even adults, have trouble swallowing. Of COURSE everyone wants to feel happy all the time, but it’s unhealthy to bottle up feelings that are a necessity to dealing with life’s special challenges.

Also . . . the climax of this film IS very emotional. Not Coco levels of emotional, but still sad in a way that got me to tear up a bit.

That said, it isn’t ALWAYS effective in how it expresses it’s ideas. While the visuals of this film are excellent (which we’ll get into in a bit) this film often runs into a bit too much of a ‘tell, don’t show’ attitude. A lot of concepts introduced in this film are verbally explained by one of the characters when they could have just as easily been presented clearly enough with visual context clues. I get that it’s a kids movie and kids may not be as skilled in picking up nuances, and to be fair this movie DOES explore a lot of concepts a child may not be immediately keen on, but film is meant to be a visual medium in which ideas and concepts are made understandable by what the audience sees rather than what they’re being told verbally. It especially makes it a problem for how characters are portrayed because one in particular feels like she exists solely as an exposition dump for three quarters of the run time. We should probably talk about characters for a second.

Characters:

So not gonna lie, this is by far the weakest area of the movie. How can I be such a heartless monster to say such a thing? Well, the best way to explain it is to compare it to Finding Nemo, the whole reason I even saw the movie to begin with. Coincidentally enough, these two movies actually have a lot in common. They’re both “buddy road trip” movies where two characters go on a big scope adventure, come across wacky colourful characters on their path and ultimately learn a lesson not often addressed in kids films. The difference is, Finding Nemo does more to establish character motivation AND it takes more time to establish multiple character arcs, ironically within the same runtime as Inside Out more or less. Marlin’s motivation for being a strict and neurotic parent is immediately shown, NOT told, in the opening. Same thing with Nemo’s tendency to rebel. Both characters are given arcs in which they each learn a unique lesson. Marlin learns to take more risks to accomplish goals and Nemo learns to be self reliant when separated from his dad. Plus along the way they come across TONS of memorable side characters. Dory, The Sharks, the school of fish, the seagulls, the pet fish in the fish tank. It does more to establish an infinitely more appealing cast of characters.

Inside Out is focused on Joy . . .TOO focused on Joy. She’s the only character with a truly fleshed out story arc. She’s the first character we see in the film and we’re verbally told through her perspective on why things are the way they are. She’s the only one of the five emotions who really learns anything and really changes.

The only other character in the story with an arc is Bing Bong the imaginary friend, who appears pretty late in the film and effectively dies soon too. His arc is wrapped up pretty hastily.

Every other character in this film is a means to an end. Fear, Disgust and Anger all exist to get a major story beat going. That’s it. Their banter between each other is likable at first but is pretty wash rinse repeat. Her parents only get one entertaining scene in the film that express any kind of personality and then the rest of the time they serve the same functions as each other (seeing if Riley is okay but ultimately not doing anything about it). Sadness is the biggest offender of not serving much beyond being a means to an end because despite having the most screentime after Joy she mainly serves as exposition dumping. Every time Joy isn’t sure about how the brain works (if she doesn’t know where things are or what they are why is she in charge?) Sadness just verbally explains it to the audience. “Oh, that’s long term memory. Oh, that’s abstract thought. Here’s what we should do about it.” She also propels the plot forward in a pretty lackluster way. The reason conflict even happens is because Sadness is compelled to taint memories (for reasons they never really explain). Riley isn’t even a character, really. She’s just an outward demonstration of the ramifications of the real conflict.

And I’m just gonna come out and say it . . . .Joy is too difficult to like for a good chunk of this movie. The movie shows her as very controlling and bossy and selfish. It immediately made me sour towards her. I know, I know, the idea is that everyone wants to feel Happy more than anything else and she DOES learn the error of her ways in the end, but they could have done a little more to make her actions sympathetic than just immediately show her hog the controls once Sadness shows up. It’s weird that Joy rubs me the wrong way more than Disgust does, a character specifically designed to be bitchy. To compare to Finding Nemo again, we understand that Marlin’s actions aren’t right in the beginning, but we know WHY he does it. It’s not for any malicious intent either. He only wants to protect his son because he learned the hard way how fragile life is and he feels like he failed to protect his family before. Joy just gets needy as soon as another character shows up and seemingly for no other reason than she just wants to have the final word in what happens. Maybe they could have made her more sympathetic by showing Riley get into a hard to cope with situation like her dad being really mad and yelling at her for something she did and Joy feeling like she owes it to Riley to make sure she never feels that bad again. That way it’s at least for somebody else’s sake besides her own. This is admittedly a hard problem to articulate because you could argue everything the emotions do, they do for Riley’s sake, but while all the other emotions clearly act with Riley’s best interests in mind Joy is shown to do what she does more out of competitiveness than duty.

Acting:

Every cast member of this flick does a great job. Amy Poehler makes a strong performance as Joy, really communicating the oozing enthusiasm and the struggle to maintain a positive attitude. Bill Hader does a great job as Fear and has some of the more effective deadpan line delivery in the film. Lewis Black makes an effectively funny Anger who makes great comedic foil for pretty well every other character he interacts with. Mindy Kaling arguably does the best job as Disgust. I say that because making a character designed to be unlikable like this (the typical girl bully “shallow bitch” archetype) endearing and not annoying has to be no easy task. Phyllis Smith does an okay job as Sadness. She’s especially funny when she has to say something sarcastic. Richard Kind plays Bing Bong and does a great job as sort of a washed up but charming imaginary friend. The rest of the cast is passable but not remarkable.

Visuals (Animation & Design):

As anyone would expect from Pixar, Inside Out is yet another visual marvel. This movies greatest strength is it’s use of colour. More specifically, colour contrast. The shear opposition between the bright saturated colors of the mind and it’s deep, unsaturated grays and blacks of the sadder scenes is excellent. There are some shots in this film that are poster material simply because the contrast adds SO MUCH to the overall composition of the frame. It makes your eye all the more drawn to the colours that really pop when they’re set against gloomy atmospheres.

One shot in particular that stands out is an extreme wide shot of Joy crying in the abyss, with her glow piercing the darkness and another memory fading away in peripheral vision.

The animation is great too. I like how while the human characters move rigidly and in accordance to real world physics, the emotions go to a cartoony extent with their dynamic poses, snappy energy and great use of line of action. The designs really showcase the best of their over the top acting, ESPECIALLY fear. the lanky, noodly armed guy has some of the most effective slapstick because of how fast and how far he stretches his limbs. In fact, all the designs of the emotions are great. As is always a necessity in character design 101, you can put them in silhouette and still be able to tell which is which.

Of course, a standout moment in the film when it comes to animation is the “abstract thought” scene. Borrowing a page from the book of Picasso, the designs in this scene are wonderfully out there and I love how it addresses such a meta idea for a kids movie. This is the one moment of the film where i think verbal explanation from Sadness is necessary.

The textures on the emotions are a nice touch too. I wouldn’t have guessed that the fuzzy, almost plush like look would have been an effective choice on characters meant to represent concepts as metaphysical as the emotional spectrum, but it’s genuinely a sight for sore eyes. I’ll admit SOME of the textures of specific location pieces seem a bit . . .dated and unpolished, but to be perfectly honest I saw this after I saw Coco so chances are the unbelievable textures of that are just spoiling me. I won’t hold it against the overall score.

Sound design (Music & Sound Foley)

As I’ve said in past reviews, this is a hard area to talk about, mainly because the film handles the sound design about as well as any other big budget film. I don’t remember anything music wise aside from one scene where I swear to God they just took the melody of Plug-In Baby by Muse.

There’s also the scene of the movie where they’re trying to break Bing Bong out of a balloon cage while not waking up a nightmare clown. The balloon sound effects are REEEEEALLY loud; easily the most blasted up sound foley out of everything in this movie. I guess it’s effective as the point of the scene is they’re trying not to wake the clown guy up but even so I think they could have made that point without making the loudness of it outweigh any other sound THAT much.

Conclusion:

Overall, this is a serviceable Pixar film. Where does it rank as far as Pixar films go? Well, probably lower within the Top 10 if I’m honest (The best Pixar films are The Incredibles, Coco, Wall-E, Ratatouille, Toy Story, Finding Nemo and Up, not necessarily in that order). It’s DEFINITELY not better than Finding Nemo. Finding Nemo does a lot of what Inside Out accomplishes except better with a more memorable cast, more relatable main characters, more fleshed out character arcs and less on-the-nose portrayal of it’s ideas. Inside Out has greatly effective animation & design as well as a healthy set of clever ideas, but I’d say it’s weak amount of character is what drags it down. It’s definitely worth checking out at least once, but it’s effect isn’t enough to shake the decisions of my Disney bracket. You now have permission to rant to me about how wrong I am.

Score:

Story - 1/2 - Average

Characters: - .5/2 - Below Average

Acting: 1.5/2 - Above Average

Visuals: 2/2 - Excellent

Sound Design: 1/2 - Average

6 out of 10. An okay movie, but ultimately disappointing.

#disney #animation #film review #pixar #inside out #movie review #disneybracket #disney&pixarbracket #Disnerd

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Superman & Lois Episode 7: Inside the “Man of Steel” Ending That Changes the Series

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This article contains Superman & Lois episode 7 spoilers.

Superman & Lois Episode 7

It took seven episodes, but we’ve finally learned the secrets of the mysterious stranger who up until now has only been known as “Captain Luthor.” Since the first episode of Superman & Lois aired back in February, fans (and journalists) have been buzzing about the identity of the man under the armor who has been giving Superman a hard time, and lately, spending a lot of time with Lois Lane.

And while everyone just took the armor’s AI at its word that this is a “Captain Luthor” from elsewhere in the DC multiverse, Superman & Lois episode 7, “Man of Steel,” turns all of that on its head, as it turns out that almost everything we had assumed about this character is wrong.

Fans learn the truth about the Stranger at the same time that Superman and Lois themselves do on the show, after a stunning series of reveals around the sequence of events that led to the character designing a powerful suit of armor, hopping over to our dimension, and start taking out his frustrations on Superman. It turns out that this Stranger (played by Wolé Parks) was married to Lois Lane, and the pair had a daughter, Natasha. When their world’s Superman and a group of Kryptonians went rogue and began destroying this alternate Earth, father and daughter watched helplessly as Lois was murdered by Superman during a live news broadcast.

All of this would be enough of a kicker for a big episode, but the biggest and most shocking is saved for the end. “The Stranger” isn’t a Luthor after all: he’s John Henry Irons, known to DC Comics fans as the superheroic Steel. And now he’s here on Arrowverse Earth-Prime, hammer and all. But this Steel has a vendetta against Superman.

The episode is directed by none other than David Ramsey, returning to his DC TV stomping grounds for the first time since the Arrow finale in 2020. Ramsey will direct multiple episodes of Arrowverse TV this year, but he didn’t know he was getting one of the most important episodes of the year to direct until he got the script.

“When I got the script, like everyone else, my jaw dropped,” Ramsey says. “It really is a premiere or finale or crossover-sized episode. It’s a huge reveal that I was really privileged and humbled to direct. It was really a great surprise that I was directing an episode as big as this.”

So let’s talk about that big twist…

Who is John Henry Irons?

It’s no accident that John Henry Irons claims the title of “man of steel” from Superman in this episode, as in the comics he went by the superheroic codename of Steel. That’s right, the “villain” of Superman & Lois is actually a hero in the comics, and a fairly important one, too.

John Henry Irons first appeared in The Adventures of Superman #500 in 1993. He was created by Louise Simonson and Jon Bogdanove, and the character quickly took over as the lead character in the ongoing Superman: The Man of Steel comic book series. This was during the period where the “real” Superman was presumed dead after his battle with Doomsday, and Irons was one of four “Supermen” who rose to take his place.

Ramsey was already a fan of Steel long before he was tasked with directing this episode.

“I’ve always been a big comic geek, so I was very familiar with who Steel was and who John Henry Irons is, but I didn’t see this coming,” Ramsey says. “I had no idea that the person they had been building up to be a Luthor was going to end up being Steel. I had no clue and the audience will have no clue. When he catches the hammer at the end, or when it’s revealed in that scene that you saw when this picture comes up, everyone’s jaw is going to drop the same way mine did. It’s a huge reveal.”

In the comics, Irons was a former weapons designer who tried to escape from his former corporation and atone for his past. After starting a new life in Metropolis as a steelworker, Irons nearly died while saving one of his co-workers from a fatal fall, but he was rescued by Superman. Inspired, and feeling that he had truly been given a second chance, John took it upon himself to protect Metropolis after Superman died at the hands of Doomsday. He created a powerful suit of armor, a high tech hammer, and went to work taking weapons off the streets of Metropolis and fearlessly taking on superpowered bad guys.

Pretty different from the John Henry Irons we met on Superman & Lois, right? Well…if you look a little closer, the comics version and the TV version may have more in common than we first thought.

“The original John Henry was inspired by Superman to become a hero,” Jai Jamison, who wrote this episode, tells us. “In an interesting way, [TV’s] John Henry and his alternate world gives us another insight into our Superman as well. Through the variations and through the variables, we can further hone and distill who our heroes are. On this other Earth, his family and Lois Lane inspired him to be Steel. So it’s still kind of in this similar space, but we see it from a different perspective. It further grounds who our heroes, our Superman, our Lois Lane are. Part of the journey that John Henry has to go on now is really discovering what is different about [Earth-Prime]. Could he try to prevent what happened on the other one?”

Parks takes this interpretation of the mythos a step further, speculating that the Superman of John Henry’s world was good before something turned him evil.

“To be honest, I think Superman inspires him in both ways,” Parks says. “So then the question is, what would John Henry do [if Superman went bad]? He would step up to the plate, because ultimately, it’s about a moral compass. Obviously, when we first met John Henry in the original comics, he was the hero from the outset. His moral compass, to me, is the exact same as this one. We just see it from a different angle. We may see a different origin story, but at their core, they’re the same guy. It’s ultimately about protecting people and being selfless. I think that that’s a really big key, and I hope that that comes through.”

From Captain Luthor to Steel

Although, as it turns out, it wasn’t originally the plan for the mysterious Stranger to turn out to be John Henry Irons at all! When Parks first auditioned for the role in early 2020, the character had more in common with a traditional Lex Luthor type.

“When I first went in, you know how these shows are, they give you fake names,” Parks laughs. “I auditioned for [a character with] the most generic name. But clearly based on the sides, it was originally a Lex Luthor character. To be honest with you, from my understanding, I had some sides which overlapped with Morgan Edge’s character…Back then, it was just a version of Lex Luthor.”

Jamison says that even in the early days, the plan was never for Captain Luthor to be a typical “megalomaniacal” villain.

“We talked about there being reasons for his actions, and humanizing him,” Jamison says. “That was our mission, that was the track we were on for a while.”

But then a few months after Parks landed the role, plans changed for the character, after Superman & Lois writers’ assistant Adam Mallinger suggested that “Captain Luthor” should instead be John Henry Irons, and the idea was quickly adopted by the team and showrunner Todd Helbing.

“From there, we really dove into the fun of planting those seeds and developing who that character is,” Jamison says.

Bringing John Henry Irons to Life

“For me, as an actor, I really wanted to tap into his pain,” Parks says. “I didn’t want him to come off as malicious. The difference between John Henry and a character like Lex Luthor is that Lex is a narcissist, he’s a selfish guy, but John is selfless, we just haven’t seen it.”

To his point, we’ve already seen the Stranger soften slightly from the earliest episodes, particularly as he gets to know this world’s Lois. But in “Man of Steel,” Parks really gets to show new sides of the character, and has three incredibly powerful scenes. The first is when he watches his world’s Lois die on live TV, the next is when he says a tearful goodbye to his daughter as he sets out on his mission of vengeance, and then there’s his big brawl with Superman, where he finally creates a hammer that can stop a Kryptonian and explains why he’s here.

“All the actors gave everything,” Ramsey says. “It’s just so wonderful as an actor going and working with other actors who just get it. The death of Lois was really very, very powerful. They were shot separately, obviously, her coverage on the roof, and then Wolé and Nat’s reaction to that. Both of those moments were incredibly, incredibly powerful, just shooting it.”

Superman & Lois has a pattern of building up slowly to its big action sequences, and it places as much emphasis on interpersonal drama as it does Kryptonian throwdowns. For Ramsey, who came from the similarly action-and-drama heavy Arrow, it’s a natural progression. And having been part of some big dramatic reveals in the past, he knows just how to make them work in this episode.

“As a director, being an actor is my greatest strength,” Ramsey says. “Particularly, in a show like Superman & Lois, which is really actor friendly, you’re just sitting the camera down and letting the actors perform. To the great credit of the production team and the writers, it really is a show that allows the actors to indulge.”

In this case, that meant making sure that Parks in particular had the freedom to express all the sides of the character this episode required.

“I said, ‘It’s your episode, man. We’ll clear the set and we’ll get it right…you can’t get it wrong,’” Ramsey says. “As an actor, I love it when directors say that. I love it when I can trust a director to allow me to work. It’s not just about creating a beautiful shot or getting your shots…it’s about creating an atmosphere where the actor feels as if they can really work.”

The show’s writers and Parks had to walk a fine line in the early episodes between making “the Stranger” feel like a real threat to Superman, without turning the man they knew to be Irons into a villain. But sharp-eyed viewers will note that the seeds have always been there.

“Even though he’s kind of been portrayed as the villain, or at least Superman’s antagonist, we’ve never seen him harm a person,” Parks says. “He used non lethal force… So we’ve never actually seen him be as bad or as callous as a villain would be. I think what the writers did was very smart, and I also wanted to make sure I tried to portray that with the character.”

But of course, with all that drama, we do get a battle between Superman and John Henry, complete with that iconic hammer. It’s a moment that feels completely earned in the context of the episode, and also stands on its own as a great example of what DC TV shows are capable of doing these days, even when they’re not working at the scale of one of their crossovers like Crisis on Infinite Earths.

“For me, what became the most important, was the vendetta that John Henry Irons has toward Superman,” Ramsey says. “I let that story kind of frame the fight, as opposed to making it as big as maybe something you might see in Arrow, which really isn’t the tone of this show. It really is about more of the emotional content. It ended up being only two or three hits, as opposed to my original plan, which was more like a battle royal with 15 hits. I really did allow the story to tell more of the action elements of the show, as opposed to this big visual spectacle.”

There’s just enough spectacle to make fans of these characters excited, though, particularly when John Henry wields that hammer for the first time.

What’s Next for John Henry Irons?

Despite the multiverse-shaking revelations of this episode, it seems there are even more to come. For example, we still don’t know what made Superman and other Kryptonians turn against John Henry’s Earth and carve a path of destruction. And just like the rest of the DC TV shows, there’s lots of worldbuilding going on in the background that we’ve only just glimpsed.

“There was a lot of thought put into what happened on John Henry’s Earth,” Jamison teases. “What the maneuvers were, what it looked like. How it was different, how it was similar, all of it. A lot of thought. We will see more of that, going forward.”

One thing that hasn’t been decided on yet is what “number” designation this alternate Earth has. But there’s still plenty of more important things to explore, including whether or not John Henry’s daughter Nat (who has a superheroic destiny of her own in the comics) survived the Kryptonian onslaught. It seems that answers are coming soon. “We are not done with the world he came from,” Parks promises.

“There will be some revelations as he tries to explain or they try to get information out of him about what his mission is and they try to understand who he is,” Jamison says.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

If these revelations are as powerful as the ones in “Man of Steel,” they’re likely to make this version of John Henry an even more sympathetic character, and one that much closer to his heroic comic book counterpart. Whatever comes next, it seems that Steel’s hammer is in very good hands.

What did you think of this week’s Superman & Lois revelations? Let us know in the comments!

The post Superman & Lois Episode 7: Inside the “Man of Steel” Ending That Changes the Series appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3bU5055

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toukaisbetterthanyou · 7 years

Text

Interlude

(Ao3)

Authors: Mod A (tanagers) and Mod K (fangirlingforeverz)

Rating: NC-17/NSFW (warnings: nothing really. Just car sex.)

Word Count: 4,184 words

Notes: We wanted to crank something fluffy out since that last TG chapter was so utterly terrifying.

“A supply run?” Nishiki asks thoughtfully as he watches Ken putting on his jacket.

Ken nods. It had been some time since they had last gone up to the surface to resupply. Often times, they made due without or tried to stretch the small supplies that they did have as much as they could. Unfortunately, they were running low on clothes, and with winter approaching, all of the members of Goat needed thicker clothing in order to combat that harsh weather.

“Yes,” he says. “ No one had time to pack anything before we came here, so we wanted to try to buy warmer clothing for everyone. What’s your size?” Ken reiterated, this time reaching into his pockets and pulling out a pen and a notepad to jot it down.

Nishiki shrugs, “A medium shirt would be fine - and the same for jeans,” and then, “Are you going by yourself?”

Ken gives Nishiki a sympathetic look. He was sure that the older man wouldn’t mind a chance to leave their cramped and lackluster surroundings, even though he was typically tasked with collecting supplies for this reason. Ken couldn’t blame him, he was also going somewhat stir crazy from staying in the dark and almost endless 24th ward. It had to have been weeks before he had last even seen the sun.

Even more pressing was the lack of privacy. It was almost impossible to get a moment alone. This was a unique frustration all on it’s own, with what his new burgeoning relationship with Touka. His wife.

Very frustrating.

Ken shakes his head, “I’m going with Touka-chan,” he responds - and at that Nishiki’s face broke out into a grin.

“So, should we expect you back in several hours?” he asks dryly, amused by the red hue that completely overtook Ken’s features.

“It shouldn’t take that long,” Ken says quickly, rubbing the back of his neck. He moves to rub his chin next, nervous at being caught. Nishiki was too sharp for his own good. He had thought that they were being discrete, but nothing seemed to slip past the sly man.

“Why would it take several hours?” he asks, playing dumb - to which Nishiki actually starts laughing. “Don’t play the innocent school boy act with me, Kaneki,” and then he claps him on the shoulder, sighing.

“Did you know that my cell is only about two rooms down from the both of you?”

An unpleasant realization strikes, “Oh.” That was right. So that meant that he heard when they --

If his flush was bad before, it was overpowering his entire face at this moment.

“But seriously,” his friend says, “Are you sure that this is a good idea? The doves have been quiet lately, but there are still other things to worry about.”

The baby. It’s unspoken, but Ken understands his meaning. He had also worried about it, but he felt guilty keeping Touka constantly cooped up. He’s still worried about, in fact. While he was sure Touka would agree if he asked her to say behind, he didn’t want to do that to her. She deserved that much.

He’d just have to be vigilant.

“We’ll keep our heads low,” Ken says. “We’re both wearing wigs and we’ll be in and out. I’m sure that it’ll be fine. The doves can’t patrol all of Tokyo at all times.”

Nishiki frowns, “They can’t,” He amends, “But it still seems risky.”

It was.

Just at that time, Touka walks into the hall jacket in hand. She had chosen to wear a long black wig, that revealed both of her eyes. She had even chosen to wear contacts. It was a different look, one that he had never considered on her, but it certainly suited her. He didn’t think that Touka could look badly in any look that she attempted.

Still, it was strange to see her without her bangs. She waves at Nishiki, “Yo,” she says in that casual way of hers, before turning her attention back to him “Ready to go?”

He nods, his eyes trailing up her boot covered legs. It was like she sucked all of his attention the moment that she entered a room. Everything else fades into the background. It happens almost every time since their relationship had begun.

God, would it always be like this?

He can’t even fathom how he hadn’t constantly been enthralled by her before -- how could he have even concentrate on anything? Nishiki rolled his eyes, noticing his lack of focus. “Close your mouth before something falls inside,” he says dryly.

Ken flushes, “W-What?”

“Oi, Touka,” Nishiki smirks, “What kind of magic did you put on him?”

“It’s a love potion,” Touka says, with a somewhat dramatic sigh. “It was supposed to make me utterly irresistible to him -- but I think it worked a little too well.”

Nishiki leans an elbow against her shoulder, sighing in mock sadness.

“Sounds rough.”

“This is all very funny,” Ken says, growing somewhat annoyed as his cheeks grow hotter. “But we really should be going.” It was getting later, and he didn’t want the stores to close before they got there.

“So hasty,” Touka remarks, “At least take a girl out before you try to get into her pants.” She snorts at the look Ken gives her, “Okay, fine -- let’s go,” she smirks at Nishiki as they begin to make the slow ascent out of the ward.

Ken’s blush was battling to overtake his whole face as he walks ahead of her.

God, he’s fun to tease.

It takes at least 45 minutes of walking before they reach the surface, but Touka had already familiarized herself with this route. In her free time, when not reading or looking over the children, she often found herself wandering the long, winding tunnels of the 24th ward. She would walk to the surface, and then back -- and then further down, as deep as she could go before the path became too treacherous.

“So,” she has to hold back a chuckle at how red Ken still was. How had she resisted teasing him in this way for so long before? The one eyed king -- flustered by a few naughty jokes. How terrifying.

“Do you want to drive today?” Touka asked.

“Huh?” He asks, and he had clearly been preoccupied with other thoughts. She catches him sneaking glances at her and she grins.

Truthfully she couldn’t blame him for being a little distracted. She would be a liar if she said she wasn't. Being with Kaneki showed her how incredibly pleasurable and fun love making could be. Even she had grown quite preoccupied with thinking about both it and him.

“Huh? Oh, um, sure,” Ken says, though he had that look in his eye that he only got when he was in the mood. She raises an eyebrow at him, though she wasn’t opposed to the idea - that would have to wait for later. They had things to do, after all. Shopping.

-- and finally getting out of that damn ward.

They had placed several cars and trucks that they had placed about a ten minute walk from the entrance to the ward, just in case they ever needed to make a quick escape. Having them too close to the entrance was suspicious, but too far way, and they wouldn’t be able to even reach them in time.

This time, Touka chooses a bland and inconspicuous little family car. She sat in the passenger seat of the car, “Let’s get going then. You do know how to drive, right?”

“Of course,” he says throwing a smile at her, shifting the car into drive. Touka braced herself for some sort of crash, however, they smoothly made it out of the densely packed forest and onto the highway and to her astonishment -- the shopping center.

“When did you learn to drive?” Ken asks, He didn’t remember her driving at all when they had been at anteiku. Then again, perhaps the need had never arisen. “Yomo-san,” she answers, watching the changing scenery as they go. When Yomo had began to teach her, she had nearly ran down a civilian. He had paid no mind and let her drive through the ward with disastrous results.

“What about you?”

He laughs, “I learned awhile ago,” he admits, “During our time apart I taught myself. I figured it would be a useful skill to have,” he said as he parks the car.

Touka purses her lips, hating being reminded of their separation. Much had changed about him during that time - and he had learned so much that it boggled her mind at times when she was faced with the differences. He had gone from a meek weakling to the man the ghouls of Tokyo called King.

It was quite the change.

Growing wistful, Touka pulled out the list that they had made and stepped out of the car, as soon as they pull into the shopping center. “C'mon, we have a lot of things to get and I don’t feel like being out here all night,” she says.

He tails her from store to store, getting the necessary items and facing the cashiers with their incredulous looks and outrageous questions at the sheer amount of items that they were purchasing.

Touka uses her well acquired customer service smile, “We are getting our Christmas shopping done early,” she told one teenager. The youth in question gives her a bemused look. “Um, it’s July,” he says.

Ken smiles, “Very early,” he cuts in, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

“We are really eager for the holidays, what with being newly married,” And now, Touka is the one who was unable to contain her flush.

He always spoke of their marriage so openly, so happily. It was as though she really made him happy.

She’s unable to hold back a smile before saying, “--And we both come from big families,” and this seems to satisfy the questioning cashier as he quickly congratulates them and ushers them down the checkout line.

All that was left was their own clothes and items now, Ken chose the plainest and darkest colored clothing in the store much to Touka’s exasperation.

“Don’t you ever wear any other color besides black, grey and navy blue?” she asks, annoyed. She throws a well chosen dress and several fashion magazines into the cart that Ken pretended not to see.

“I like black, grey, and navy blue,” he says with a smile, making Touka roll her eyes.

They finished their shopping without much excitement after that and lugged all of their bags back to the car. It took a lot of effort, but Touka was eventually help to stuff them all into the trunk of the car.

“Remind me to never do this again,” Touka complains. “That hellhole is better than carrying all of this shit!”

“Shittyama can go next time -- count me out,” she says and Ken laughs, smiling with a mysterious twinkle in his eye, “Should we start to head out?” he asks, and Touka looked at him warily when she noticed that he didn’t say “home.”

“Yeah,” she says, “Are you driving again?” And he nods enthusiastically - too enthusiastically as he got into the driver’s side of the car.

He drives to a less populated area, further from the mall but also nowhere near the ward. He stops the car, and Touka almost laughs.

Actually, she does.

“You’re so lame,” she says with a snort. “Are we horny teenagers now?”

Ken frowns, giving her that damn kicked puppy look that he had quickly learned she was an absolute sucker for. “So, is that a no?”

She would punch him if the pregnancy wasn’t making her feel constantly frisky. She also can’t deny that this was a rare opportunity. In the cramped wards, there was almost always someone who needed Ken’s attention.

Touka gives him a saucy smile before crawling onto his lap. Luckily, her belly hadn’t gotten too big yet, so she’s able to sit against him comfortably.

Ken needs no more encouragement to begin kissing her hungrily.

Her lips molded onto his, dress riding up to her ass as she straddled him and buried her hands in his hair. She did hard work and there was a lot more privacy here than at the ward. Didn’t she deserve a little fun time without being judged by everyone?

“Hmm,” she moans against his lips, “So, this is what you were planning when you invited me out,” she murmurs, before latching onto his collarbone.

She nips at the skin there until she heard him gasp and his hips surged forward, his crotch rubbing right where she wants him.

Ken chuckles, reaching down and cupping her ass, squeezing firmly. “Guilty,” he admis playfully - “Though, I wanted to let you spend some time outside of the ward, too.”

Her smile widens, her heart pulsing. He really was a sweet man.

“Want to take this to the back seat?” he asks, watching her through half lidded eyes, and she nodded because fuck yes she did.

They fumble and laugh as they make it to the back seat.

It was cramped as hell, but Touka didn’t mind - Ken hovers over her, his knee on one side of her hip and his other leg was off of the seat as there wasn’t enough room for both of them. Touka winces when her head hit the arm rest, and Ken smiled apologetically. He slips his hands underneath her skirt, pushing it up to her belly and leaning down to kiss right beneath her navel.

There was a noticeable bump now, but still too small unless someone was being very observant. She still wore dark colors to hide the fact, for her own safety and their baby’s.

She squirms and his smile softens. “I promise that this will be fun,” Ken says.

She giggles when he nuzzles her through her panties. “Oh, I bet,” she says breathily when his lips pepper kisses along her inner thighs. He pulls at the hem of her underwear with his teeth before bringing them down and slide it the rest of the way down her legs. Touka tries to kick them off but ends up kicking the car door. Ken laughs at the absurdity of the situation,

“I’ll make it fun,” he grins, “I promise,” he tells her. His tongue traces her clit. Her back arches off the backseat with a moan, fingers delving through his hair and bringing him closer to her cunt.

She always tasted so good, and he laps at her hungrily. There was hardly any space her him in the car to kneel between her legs, and his back was beginning to get strained from staying in the awkward position that he was in - but it was worth it to have her thighs quivering around his head.

He presses a finger inside of her, twisting it and relishing in the way that her breath hitched. “Fuck,” she groans, “You’re good at that,” and he laughs again and his breath pleasantly tickles her cunt. When he slides another finger inside of her she gasps, her body jerking and she hits her head again.

“Too good,” she says breathlessly, head tilted back and hips moving against his fingers, “Oh!” She gasps, as his fingers curves up and rub against her inner walls. He takes her clit into his mouth and sucks.

It’s like fire in her veins -- the pleasure was always a little different, but just as intense. Her body undulates sensuously under his touch, hips rolling, trying to get closer to him. Feeling her legs around his head like this, feeling her body react is almost too much for him.

She was always so responsive. Did she want him this much?

He feels painfully hard but winces as he shifts. His back was going to get stuck in this position.

He grazes her clit with his teeth lightly, and that was enough to break the dam - and she gasps - back arching painfully as she comes.

Her legs hit the car door repeatedly, and she can’t help but laugh even as the waves of her orgasm hit her - turning her moans into shaky laughter.

This situation was ridiculous - but it was fun, she couldn't deny that. Ken smiles at her, laughing as well pausing to lick her juices off of his mouth.

“Maybe we should try another position,” he suggests, amused - fucking her like this was definitely not going to work.

“Okay, okay,” Touka says, still giggling - “Just give me a second,” her body felt like jelly- but she pushes herself up, “Sit down,” she tells him, and he did - so she straddles his waist, thinking that it would be easier that way.

She grinds her hips against his, her bare cunt rubbing against his clothed cock. She rubs her palm, working him up and the unzipping it and stroking his cock. She positions herself above him, when she hit her head when she lifted herself too high.

“This won’t work, ” she says flatly, Ken laughs, his head rolling on the headrest.

She glares at him, feeling just frustrated now and he relents, “Okay, how about this?”

As he tries positions himself behind her, the cramped car seemed to have even less space as they struggled to find a position.

In frustration, Touka pulled at the lever under the seat, causing Kaneki to fall back with the seats.

He yelps in surprise and Touka smirks, totally amused. “You’re right, Ken - this is fun,” she teases, making him roll his eyes. “Very funny,” he says, though he was thankful for more space.

“How about this?” he asks, and lifts her up and letting her lie back on the flattened seats. He positions himself over her, steadying himself by placing one of his arms beside her head, and using his other hand to lift her hips to his.

He quickly undid his pants, and pushed them down, not bothering to pull them off past his knees. It probably wouldn’t work anyway.

He notices that Touka still had her panties looped around one of her feet and he snorts, trying to hold back laughter. The fabric lining the back of the scary is rough and scratchy.

“This is probably going to give me rug burn,” Touka says with a grimace, the material of the back of the seat was scratchy against her back. Ken smiles apologetically, and kissed her, pressing the blunt head of his cock against her opening before pushing inside.

She leans up to the kiss, breaking it only for a moment when he finally pushed inside her. “Good?” He asks, biting his lips to keep from smiling, she shifted her hips,“ Move, shitty Kaneki,” impatience coloring her tone.

He hums, separating her legs further as he pushes one of them up to his shoulder and thrusts, deep enough to have her keening. “O-Oh!”

Ah, how long had it been since their last time? Two weeks? He’s unable to stop himself as he assaults her with thundering thrusts. Pivoting his hips to meet hers, making her whine.

“F-Fuck!” She yelps.

He laughs and kisses her again, entwining their tongues lazily.

Touka’s inner walls clamp down onto his cock and he moans deeply, each thrust pushing him closer and closer over the edge. It’s so good -- tight and so very, wet. She always is for him.

Her breasts bounce from the force of each thrust. It was a lewd image, but one that he would always cherish.

Only he got to see Touka like this.

His eyes are glued to her breasts as he fucks her. He leans down and licked one of her nipples, and toys with the other one with his fingers. She whimpered, threading her fingers through his hair, clenching and then tugging. God, nothing got him going faster than that.

And from the mischievous glimmer in her eye, he knows that she knew this as well.

He rolls his hips slowly but powerfully, each thrust causing stars to burst in front of her eyes. “Don’t stop,” she begs.

She throws her head back as his kisses became sloppy, messy. He bites at the swell of her breast and she feels herself getting closer and closer. She doesn’t even care that the stinging on her backside from their motion was going to cause a nasty rug burn.

“I don’t plan to,” he moans into the hollow between her breasts, licking a line to trace up to the droplets of sweat that beaded across her skin. He swivels his hips and pushes deeper inside, his thumb rubbing at her clit when she came screaming and fluttering.

He can feel her walls clenching down, spasming and hugging his cock so tightly that he chokes.

His vision whitens as his hips spasm and jolt sloppily as the rhythm between is lost.

Exhausted but euphoric, he buries his face into her chest, nuzzling against her. “Touka-a,” he moans, breathless and boneless.

They lay like that for awhile, all tangled together while Touka ran her fingers through his hair. Here there was no war, no citizens to worry about, no future to drive himself into agony over. There was just her.

Several moments pass before she frowns in discomfort from the sting of the friction from the rug. “I have rug burn on my ass,” she says, deeply unamused. Lightly, she slaps his arm.

“You owe me,” she said sleepily and Ken couldn’t help the laughter that bursts out of him.

“Okay, okay! But you’ll model the dresses that you snuck out for me, right?” Touka narrows her eyes at him, getting up slowly with a wince and putting on her underwear.

Ken lifts her skirt up her back to 'inspect’ the rug burn with a grimace, “I haven’t seen it this red since that time I smacked -” She covers his mouth before he could finish that sentence.

She was still very embarrassed about that particular night, despite having so much fun. Ken perks up every opportunity he gets to both brag about it and tease her as well. She was adorable on the rare occasions that we he was able to actually fluster her. He can definitely see why she likes flustering him, if the retribution feels the same.

Her eyes are impossibly soft as she looks at him, palms splayed over her growing bump, stroking it softly. She was around three months now and every day, they grew more and more hopeful about their child’s existence. That all the sacrifices Touka was making for them was going to be worth it.

Ken leans in to kiss her forehead and then her lips, in a chaste peck. He leans in to do the same to her belly, rubbing his cheek against it and tickling her with soft strands of his wig.

“I actually got a few things,” He says softly. “I know that we agreed to not get anything until we know for sure -- but I couldn’t help it.”

She sits up, leaning against the door of the rear side as he rifles through the plastic bags to find one that looked the same as the others. But, he had smartly hidden it away to camouflage it from her sight. Her chest constricts, knowing what it was -- who it was for -- but it still knocks the wind out of her when he pulls out a baby blue onesie with a silver rabbit at the chest. A small jacket, too small to belong to a child and almost resembling those clothes for life size toys. It was a pale yellow in color, the hood had floppy bunny ears. Several pairs of socks and mittens…?

Her eyes start watering when she sees a blanket, light blue with yellow stars and ducks on it. In that moment,it became that much clearer.

They were going to be parents. This was real.

“When I saw these, I just couldn’t help it.” He explains sheepishly. “Y-You’re practically glowing and I know that she’ll make it--”

“He,” Touka corrects, with a watery smile.

“She,” Ken insists. Clearing his throat and closing his eyes to keep them from stinging. “She might want more bunny things, so I’m not done yet.”

Touka’s smile cracks with a sob. He embraces her, wrapping her protectively in his arms and she holds him back just as fiercely. Feeling so overwhelmed from the months of worrying for their child. But every day, their hope strengthens. Every day, the fear shrinks and the love and confidence just grows.

“She will live,” Ken promises her. “She will.”

“I know he will,” Touka replies hoarsely. “H-He’s going to love bunnies. Maybe we can get h-him one someday.”

He pulls back to wipe her tears, feeling some tears run down his face.

When they return, Touka huffs, walking with a bit of a limp from the rug burn. Nishiki is standing near the entrance to the kitchen area, and she grumbles when he notices her limping. He smirks, clearly about to mention it. “Mind your business, damn Nishiki,” she growled, throwing a bag at his head as she walks past him to her room.

#touken #kanetou #Touka Kirishima #kirishima touka #fanfic #and now for us to be buried under work again #if you liked this please let us know #we love feedback

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what-happened-to-agent-georgia · 7 years

Text

“Rookie”

For the RvB Bingo Wars, the ‘Red Team gets a Freelancer’ square.

Word Count: 1537

Notes: Ao3.

Warnings: Canon-typical violence/language/swearing

Description: After the untimely death of Captain Flowers, aka Agent Florida, Freelancers Hawaii and California are sent to Blood Gulch to replace him. Hawaii, assigned to Red Team, begins to regret joining Project Freelancer.

News of Captain Flowers’s, aka Agent Florida’s, death fell on unsympathetic ears.

“Dead from an aspirin overdose?” scoffed Agent Kansas. “Wasn’t he part of Project Freelancer’s most ‘Elite Team’?”

The five of them—California, Hawaii, Kansas, Montana, and Oregon—were circled up around the war table. They were all waiting for the Director to appear and inform them who would be taking Flowers’s place. Hawaii wanted to deck Kansas in his smug little mouth, but she restrained herself. He would undoubtedly fight back, and she didn’t want to be held accountable for what she might or might not do to him when he did.

Hawaii would be lying if she said Flowers’s death didn’t amuse her a bit. The big bad Freelancer, done in by aspirin. If she wasn’t worried about pissing the Director off, she would probably be agreeing with Kansas. And so, she knew, would everyone else.

The door hissed open then, and the five of them snapped to attention. Speak of the devil.

The Director looked more tired than usual, his cheeks perhaps a bit more sunken and the bags under his green eyes a bit darker. He was paler too—or maybe that was just the blue light shining off the war table and every other screen in the room. Were it any of her business, Hawaii would say the disappearance and/or death of almost his entire alpha team was starting to wear on him.

But it wasn’t any of her business.

“At ease, soldiers,” the Director drawled. Hawaii allowed her shoulders to relax ever-so-slightly, and almost everyone else did the same. Only Agent Oregon remained ramrod straight. Kiss ass.

“I’m sure you’re all aware by now of the… unfortunate demise of Agent Florida,” the Director said.

They all nodded.

“These simulation troopers are proving to be more of a nuisance than previously anticipated,” the Director went on, clasping his hands behind his back. “So, we’re going to be dispatching two of you this time.”

“Dispatching us where, sir?” Agent Montana asked.

In response, the Director gave Montana a look to freeze gasoline. Montana looked down at the ground.

“I have chosen two soldiers whom I believe to be the best suited to this mission.” The Director looked at each of the Freelancers. Hawaii didn’t know how the hell he did it, but somehow, he looked her straight in the eyes.

She felt a chill snake up her spine, and she glanced over at California, who seemed equally unsettled.

“Agents California and Hawaii. Report to Hangar F143, there’s a ship waiting for you. You’ll be briefed en route.”

***

Hawaii could see why they’d hidden the Alpha AI in Blood Gulch, a strategically useless box canyon in the middle of freaking nowhere. Before today, she hadn’t even known it existed. She was sure Cal hadn’t either, but she didn’t know for sure; they’d been dropped in Blood Gulch in separate ships to maintain the charade of being on separate teams.

California, top of Project Freelancer’s B-Squad, had been given the honor of watching Blue Team, where the Alpha resided. He had also been allowed to keep his armor, a seafoam green that was passable as a shade of blue. Hawaii, on the other hand, had had to trade in her orchid-colored armor for an armor that was the color of dried blood.

She hated it.

Her mood didn’t improve when she arrived at Red Base to find it vacant and undefended. Had they sent her to an empty base? She checked through the files she’d been given on her helmet screen. There should be three sim troopers here: Dexter Grif, Richard Simmons, and Sargent… Sarge? What?

She entered the base—

—And immediately tripped over about fifty boxes of ammunition that had been left in a pile in front of the door.

Springing to her feet, Hawaii glanced around, cheeks flaming. There was no one around. With an exasperated growl, she kicked the rest of the shells out of the way and continued her inspection of the base.

The kitchen and mess hall were spotless, though why anyone would stack clean dishes in the sink was beyond her. The armory was… sparse, and there was hardly a box of ammunition in sight.

Wonder where those went? Hawaii rolled her eyes.

Further down the dismal, steel hallway were the Sargent’s quarters, and as the door slid open she heard the cocking of a gun. Heart racing, she hit the ground, drawing her pistol as she dropped.

Bang! Ears ringing, Hawaii brought her gun up to aim it at her attacker…

…Who appeared to be a cardboard cutout of a soldier in red armor. On a stand in front of the cutout was a shotgun, set to go off if the door was opened. Just as Hawaii was about to stand, a recorded message erupted from the cutout.

“You just got Sarged! Heheh.”

“What. The ever-living fuck.” Hawaii crawled backwards and away from the door and hit the close button.

Hawaii was starting to wish she’d punched Kansas and ruined her chances at this mission.

The next room was probably the most immaculate room she had ever seen. Not a speck of dust could be seen, the walls, floor, and even the ceiling polished to perfection. The bed was made so crisply it looked ready to snap in two. Aside from the metal chest at the edge of the bed full of what Hawaii assumed were clothes and toiletries, the only objects of note in the room were a data pad and three pairs of glasses on the small table next to the bed. For some reason, this room was more unsettling than the room with the hostile standee.

“Okay, this must be Private Simmons’s room,” she muttered to herself, remembering the character profiles she’d been given. The perfectionist, followed orders without question, nerdy as hell.

The next door opened into an empty, dusty room. Hawaii figured this was her room, and she dreaded task of cleaning it out. Not that the bunks were that large; eight feet by eight feet, if she was being generous. Still, maybe she could sleep outside. Or under a rock.

Hawaii wasn’t sure what hit her first, the smell or the pile of dirty clothing, books, and other junk that fell on top of her when she opened the door to Private Grif’s bunk.

“Shit!”

She was ninety-five percent certain she would have died without her power armor.

Clawing her way out from the debris, she marched away without closing the door. No way she was about to open that can of worms.

Hawaii was beginning to wish she’d gone down with the MoI.

Bruised, confused, and ready to shoot someone, Agent Hawaii reached the stairs leading to the base’s roof. At this point, she was unsure whether the sound of bickering above was a relief or the precursor to another headache.

Emerging onto the roof, she saw a maroon trooper and an orange one. Simmons and Grif, respectively. They hadn’t noticed her arrival, hadn’t heard her trip on the bullets, the gunshot in the middle of the base or the sound of her swearing as she was crushed by a pile of junk. These might have been the worst soldiers she had ever encountered.

The sim troopers had their backs to her and were in the middle of an argument.

“… not exactly what happened,” Private Simmons protested.

“Yes, it is,” Private Grif retorted. “You said, ‘I’m not going to the Vegas Quadrant’, and the next thing I know you’re in an escape pod headed for—”

“Excuse me, soldiers!” Hawaii interrupted.

The two of them turned to face her.

“Soldiers?” Private Grif said, as if he was skeptical of his own occupation.

“Uh?” Simmons exclaimed, nearly dropping his gun.

“I’ve been sent by Command,” Hawaii stated. “I was told to report here, to uh, Blood Gulch Outpost Al—Number One. Where’s your sergeant?”

“Uh?” Simmons repeated.

“What the hell, Simmons?” Grif sighed, giving an exaggerated helmet roll. He turned to face Hawaii. “Sarge isn’t here. Left for Command to get orders. You wanna talk to him, you’ll have to wait ‘til he gets back. Take a nap. That’s what I would do.”

“Ack—” Simmons’s voice went up three octaves. He coughed and started over, “Actually, Sarge put me in chr-charge while he was away.”

“Kiss ass,” Grif retorted. “Okay, Simmons, I’ll give you twenty bucks if you can actually hold a conversation with her.”

“Uh?” Simmons turned to face Hawaii, who, if she had been a pot of water, was close to boiling the fuck over. His voice cracking, though not as terribly as before, Simmons commanded, “State your bus-business, soldier?”

“Private Dannie Hawaii, reporting for duty,” Hawaii said. She was grateful the sim troopers couldn’t see her wince through her helmet. She hadn’t been ‘Private’ for some time, and it physically hurt to introduce herself as such. Then, with about as much conviction as someone tasked with cleaning a toilet, she added, “Ready to kill some dirty Blues.”

“Okay, two things,” Grif said. “One, Private Hawaii? No fuckin’ way I’m calling you that. Two, can I borrow twenty bucks?”

Agent Hawaii began to wonder why she was here.

#rvb bingo wars #red team entry #pfl #blood gulch #simmons #grif #swearing #violence #rvb spoilers #sort of #i know technically hawaii and california don't make appearances #but meh

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team-adults-blog · 7 years

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4.02 Heavy Lies the Crown

More reactionary that the last one. Long. Buckle Up, Kids.

Poor Ilian. But what a great origin story amiright? Tragic. Also appreciating the simple face tattoos that seem to be done by family? His brother had the same ones. It could be clan, but Mr. Ambassador later in the episode has dumb eyebrow arc ones (Octavia should stab him for that alone. Plus he’s talkin shit the whole episode). So those are my thoughts. If you reallllllyyyy want to think about it, it might be a familial tattoo passed down through the mother’s lineage because Ilian’s mom has the same ones too- more woman leaders and power on The 100. Digging it.

aaaahhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHaaaaaaOOOOoooo. And repeat.

KABBY SEX. HOLY BAJOBIEE. I was NOT emotionally prepared for this immediately after a commercial break. It makes sense, staging wise, but Look at him there in bed with heart eyes. Here I am sitting all heart eyed. Hot damn.

“You… are a terrible influence” Ok. So this is NOT their first time folks. Waaayyyy to casual. It screams we’ve done this before and we’re going to do it again >>I’m late to go see Roan.

One side of me is yelling FINALLY. The other side is glaring at the writers for this scene. Like COME ONNNN. After 3 seasons (maybe not intended so much in S1) of hurt and comfort, character growth, and angst, you give me this???? I’m down with the slow burn but you don’t get to (here’s my not great metaphor) roll the boulder down the cliff and let me catch a glimpse of the cliff it’s going towards (aka chipped Abby jumps Kane’s bones), but still have it be a mile away. And then BAM. The boulder is now gently rolling through some green meadow at the bottom of the cliff. I DON’T THINK SO. What I wanted: to see the boulder go airborne. Emotions have built to the breaking point. [cut to commercial] Boom.The aftermath. This scene following the break. A BEFORE AND AFTER THE EXPLOSION. THE FALLING OFF THE CLIFF. I’M NOT ASKING TO SEE THE ENTIRE JOURNEY FROM THE TOP OF THE CLIFF TO THE BOTTOM (this is still the CW, after all). I’m asking for pretty typical TV sex scenes. Where was the missing lead in?

At the same time, it is nice to see them comfortable and happy with each other. It doesn’t mean I don’t feel a little cheated...

THE RINGS. This is so so so so so soooo important. There was not a single scene in S3 where Abby was not wearing her and Jake’s rings on that chain around her neck. They’ve been setting up this symbol for a while in anticipation of THIS SCENE!!!!!! Kabby definitely needed to talk about Jake at some point, and this is how a lot of the fandom saw that going down:

a) Marcus sees the rings and feels guilty, and says something to the degree of “I’d never ask you to take them off” because. Respect. Or (this is more of the guilt part) because he doesn’t think he’s as good of a man as Jake was. Abby says he’s a good guy too. He’s changed. He’s grown. A sexy beard. But actually he’s a better person too.

b) Abby feels guilty that she’s betraying Jake’s memory, or pressure to take the rings off.

c) A Combo.

And the Winner is: C

Abby with a wave of emotion as she picks up the rings. Good ‘ol perceptive Kane reading her and knowing what/why she’s feeling this way, saying, “Jake’s a part of who you are.” AND PUTTING THEM BACK ON FOR HER. THE BEST GUY RIGHT HERE. THE ABSOLUTE BEST. BRYAN CAN SUCK IT.

Beard stroke. Kiss from the season 4 promo. A+ writing. Covering all the emotional bases. This should be 50% of the show in my humble opinion.

[later]

Dad!Kane and Octavia to save the dayyyy warn Roan about the dumb ambassador from Trishanakru. Dad!Kane needs save this boy from bad-tattoo-faced ambassador. What’s one more kid?

[End of they day] Kabby reunites. “One simple task and I’m failing you.” You’re breaking my lil’ heartttt. Diplomacy is hard lil’ marco but you’re good at it. Give it more than once conversation. You have a great deal of experience dealing with stubbornness, remember?

The difference in their faces when Abby tells Kane she can’t help Roan. Kane, mr. perceptive, in the flesh is sad, but gets it. She needs to be useful, so she has to leave Polis and him, to go back to Arkadia. “to Clarke” THIS GUY. The best. He knows. He gets it. A keeper. Okokokokok. So Abby has clearly been staring out the window mentally preparing herself for this conversation and has shut down some of her emotions in preparation. Hence open but distant body language and face. Kane is sad. Ian is very good at that expression. and all of them, honesty. complexity is important.

He looks down. One last glimpse of the boobs, no doubt. Just kiddingggg. Who knows? He notices THE RINGS are missing and swipes her hair thinking they’re covered. NOPE. THEY NOT HIDING. THEY GONE. “Your necklace…” AH QUESTIONING. IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS? Yes, yes it is. Abby decided to take them off while she was alone. That to me is key. She’s taking them off for her. Because she’s ready. Not for any other reason. She can’t say it. But he understands. REALLY NICE HUG. I want a hug that nice. From anyone really. Canon: Marcus Kane is an understanding mind reader which makes him a GREAT diplomat. Pass it on.

[Octavia kills bad-tattoo-faced ambassador from Trishanakru, I know his name is Rafael, but his nickname is more fun for me] Dad!kane knows his kids. Last season it was Boris hurting his heart. Now Octavia. Also kudos to him for knowing what’s up. Kane INSTANTLY is wary and looks at Octavia when bad-tattoo-faced ambassador is missing. The ways she killed him was really smart. He should be proud she’s becoming such a good assassin. She gives herself away though- she’s got zero remorse or chill. Dad sigh. Ilian knows. Echo knows. Rumors gon fly.

I like that everyone is doing what they do best this episode:

Dr. Abby

Problem solver Raven

Ambassador Kane being diplomatic

Badass Octavia

Clarke lying (lol what a drag) and also being a leader. Eliza has one pouty face so far this season and is it bad that it makes me laugh? I’m sorry….

Jasper calling Clarke OUT! and singing

Bellamy having to make the tough call. Officially back to Bellamy from Boris. Also being big bro to some random child 10/10.

Jaha giving speeches

When the pacing is at a nice speed, and everyone is acting in ways that make sense for their characters to act. The episode turns out really well.

Other Thoughts

Who the fuckkkk is Riley?

Um. Bryan has a cool back scar and should listen to Nate more. His morals are iffy. Where’s Miller senior? What does he think about this boy? Why does Bryan try to get Monty to kill the grounder. Monty is better than revenge and you should know that by now if you think you know Miller so well. Don’t be fucking rude. #Minty

I wish my hair looked as good as Harper’s side braid and crown. Chelsey is a babe.

Poor Lindsey is fit AF and never gets to go run around with the adventure squad because Murphy shot Raven. Yay Raven being a reluctant leader and missing Sinclair. And being savage to Jaha. His ass suddenly became an engineer so he cout be plot relevant this season, smh. He was one before being chancellor. He’s smart, sure, and I can’t see him being in the guard or anything so it fits well enough.

I dislike Jaha. Disclaimer: I dislike Isaiah Washington as a person. However, the speech he gave Clarke was solid advice. Isaiah’s good at playing pious/arrogant/condescending characters. This season, I would like Jaha to make himself useful and not run over everyone else’s opinions. It’s also important to point out that Jaha was chipped the longest, and while he did go looking for the CoL and probably thought taking the chip was a great idea, ALL of his actions while chipped should be seen as a chipped Jaha’s actions. We don’t know his character background as well as we know others. Because we know so much about other characters who were chipped and that they’d never do the things that they did, we have no problem going back to the way we saw them before. Jaha is an exception to this because 1) we don’t really know what he would do, so we have a hard time separating his actions. I personally think Abby is the best example of the separation. As a doctor, she’s against hurting people. Chipped she ends up causing physical harm to the two people she cares the most about on Earth (I like to think of Raven and Jackson as her adopted kiddos and the next two on the list, who also happen to be the reason she takes the chip in the first place #poorabbs) AND 2) lots of people dislike the character to begin with, so it’s easy to keep blaming him, as Raven does. If Jaha were to humble himself and offer good guidance, I could see his character making a comeback.

The episode title is a misquote of Shakespeare and I find it so satisfying that Thelonious frickin Jaha, mr. pretentious, fucks that up. (He’s the one who actually says the line- to Clarke)

4.01: Lexa laid to rest. Respectfully.

4.02: Jake laid to rest. Respectfully. I hope Abby gives Clarke the necklace when she gets back to Arkadia.

4.03: Wells? I think it’s still too fresh and early for Octavia to lay Lincoln to rest. Redemption path Jaha needs to talk about his son?

Next week: Dr. Abby goes to save luna and the boat people!

#I have thoughts #not all of them are good ones #ok? ok #S4 #the 100 #4.02

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skittykittie · 7 years

Text

Kaiyuan to Jianshui

July 30, 2015 (written on the day)

My alarm went off at 7. I actually was able to make myself get up and make it down stairs for group breakfast... but it was only me, Jessica, and Sophie. Little by little, everyone else was getting too lazy to get up early to eat. Our hotel didn't provide breakfast, so the three of us got the task of finding a decent local place to find something to eat.

Luckily, Jessica was able to spot the entrance to a local farmer’s market not too far from our hotel. We walked across the street (through crazy traffic) through a small gap between the strip of stores and businesses. I couldn't tell from the outside, but the entrance led into a huge farmer's market. They had set up all behind the strip of buildings. There was plenty of fresh and hot food as well as vegetable and meat stands.

These were definitely where the locals came. We passed by a lot of people on bikes with baskets of their fruits they had picked. There were families that were shopping for the day's ingredients. We walked around a bit until Sophie found a rice noodle shop she liked. She ordered from there, and Jessica and I got some steamed buns for ourselves and the rest of the group. It was so cheap! Only 1 yuan (about 15 cents) for one bun, and they were big buns!

When we got back, it was time for our morning routine of putting all of our stuff into Dr. D's room, transferring all of our equipment for the work day downstairs, and checking out of our rooms.

It was a nice morning so I decided to walked the short distance to the hospital with FangQi, Jess, Zhangrui, Landy, and Sophie. The streets were much more alive than the evening previous. I'm starting to get the impression that these smaller Chinese towns really like the "the early bird catches the worm" saying.

Once at the hospital, we were warmly met and welcomed by the hospital staff, most of which we had met the night before. At the entrance of the building was an rolling banner of LED lights that read, "Kaiyuan welcomes the China California Heart Watch!" Wow. These people really knew how to impress.

The meeting with the head director and co was equally as impressive. We were brought to a large conference room with a huge table that was able to accommodate our whole team of 10 and their staff, who I didn't count. We were served tea in glasses, instead of plastic cups. They also introduced themselves one by one, making us do the same. There was applause after every person was introduced. Their head director spoke before we started our proposal and conditions for work, and it seemed as if he had memorized and pre-rehearsed it. Maybe he was just very articulate? I'm not sure, but it was pretty professional. Lastly, at the end, they had the typical photo taking with Dr. D and the directors, but they had them take it in front of another room where there was already big screen with a fancy background set up.

Kaiyuan really, really, knew how to welcome us.

We separated into our clinic and training groups. Clinic was set up on the pediatrics and OB/GYN floor. I don't actually remember how many patients we saw that day. Maybe 7 or 8? Half of our patients were infants, less than a few months old, making our job fairly simple. A lot of them didn't have much of a problem, some were just follow ups.

There was one family in particular that stood out to me that day. It was an 11 year old girl who came in with her parents. I could tell by her father's extremely dark skin and over worked hands and her mother's traditional outfit, that she was from a very poor family. As we interviewed them, Sophie and I realized they didn't speak Mandarin well. We had to get one of the other doctors to interpret for us. They had traveled hours from their small village to come into town to have her examined. They were also of an ethnic minority group, which explained why they spoke a different dialect of Chinese.

The reason this girl really stood out to me was because they were so extremely poor (well, most of our patients are) and she was very sick. We found several heart issues on her that were operable. With the funds and resources ChinaCal has, we were able to help arrange to send them to Kunming and accommodate her for surgery. They were worried because they had never been to Kunming and would most likely get lost, they were also worried about having to take time off work, but Shanshan and the other doctors helped work out a plan for them to get her the help she needed.

It is cases like this that make me remember why we are here and my motivation for coming in the first place. She is a prime example of what good all the donations went to. Many of the kids we see don't usually have anything direly serious wrong with them. Our purpose is to find and help the unfortunate few that do. I was extremely happy to see them get what they needed for their little girl. Without this organization, I don't think she would have ever even been seen for her issues.

Sophie and I finished well before 12 pm (our designated lunch hour), so we opted to go get a tour of the maternity ward. Similar to the NICU in Mile, we had to dress up in the whole gown attire. Unfortunately, this woman we toured with didn't realize I didn't speak Mandarin well. Sophie and I also didn't get a chance to really tell her, either, because she kept talking... and talking... But it was kind of cool to at least walk around. The ward was empty (thank Jesus), so there wasn't really anything for us to see besides the rooms and a little bit of equipment.

We hung out a bit longer, finding things to watch in the ultrasound room and the hallway. Pretty soon we went to lunch. Lunch was almost exactly like the day before, welcoming staff, lots of pre prepared food, and toasting. Most of us chose not to drink wine this time, though, including myself. My redness gets embarrassing.

When we got back, we had only one or two more patients to do an ultrasound examination on. The last child was one of those that was so afraid of the doctor's, he'd cry just by entering the room. He was really cute though, a little 2 year old boy. He had been so fussy before lunch that we told the family to go out, get him really tired, and come back after lunch. They came back and he was less fussy, his dad was carrying a large toy truck that was still new in the box. It was a cute attempt to try to calm him down, but he didn't care for it once we got him in the examination room. Poor kid.

I actually had to help with this one, he was so bad. He kind of reminded me of how I used to be with needles. We finally were able to get him to lay still and stop crying by playing a few episodes of Tom and Jerry that Jessica had on her iPad. It was like magic. He was mesmerized by the cartoon. His mom was also there next to him narrating the whole thing to him. It was adorable.

Once we were finished, we packed up and then... nothing. It was only about 2 when we finished. The training team had finished, too. We had 2 hours to kill while waiting for our car that would bring us to the next city at 4. I spent my time working on blogs out on this nice patio they had and watching the baby yoga and swim session.

What? Baby yoga swimming?! What's that you ask?

Probably one of the cutest things I've ever seen. It's an out patient service where parents bring in their babies to be given a thorough bath and let them swim around. Babies obviously can't swim, so what they do is put a round floaty right under their chin and around their necks. Then, the nurses have a huge sink of water, and let the babies float in there. It's seriously the funniest and cutest thing I had seen all trip. The babies are literally just floating heads. A lot of them really enjoyed it, they were kicking and swimming around, one even fell asleep. After their designated swimming time (maybe 15 or 20 minutes) the nurses would come over and give them a good washing. The entire team was so fascinated by this whole procedure. We stood at the viewing window taking pictures, video, and coo-ing over how funny they all looked.

Car came right on schedule at 4 pm to pick us up at the entrance of the hospital. I was confused at first because on the outside, it was just an ambulance van. But then the door slid open and I saw that it had been remodeled on the inside. There were enough seats for all of us, plus two extra! We were amazing able to fit every person and every one in that one van. It was also the most comfortable ride thus far. We each had individual seats, AC, cushioned with SEATBELTS (something that is not often seen in public transportation, let alone used at all in China).

This ride, I was less tired than before. I was actually awake for half of it, but that also could have been because the road was extremely bumpy at times. The road was very wound around the mountains, as well, causing me to get constantly bumped against the side of the van. Nonetheless, I was awake and able to watch the scenery. It was beautiful. We were finally IN the mountains, not just driving through them or by them. There were several turns where one wrong slip of the tire would mean us tumbling down a cliff.

We arrived at our next city Jianshui, our 5th city of the week, and it was only Thursday. We weren't greeted with a parade like Kaiyuan, but the hotel was extremely nice, the nicest so far. We had a western toilet (a valued commodity for Donna and I), a shower that was closed in (most showers just pour out onto the ground and everything gets all wet), a coffee table and a couch, breakfast was included in our stay... the only bad part was the wifi. It was terrible. I had to go out into the lobby to actually be able to use it at all.

Oh well, you win some, you lose some. We were staying there over the weekend, so I was extremely happy about that.

Around 7:30 we went out for dinner. We had to walk a bit to find a Muslim restaurant for Zhangrui's sake, but I'm so glad we did. We ended up at a place that had HOT POT. Even though it was the middle of summer, it was SO GOOD to have some real hot pot. I ate to the fullest I've felt all trip. I can't describe to you how amazing that place was. A group of people actually went back the next day for dinner again haha.

When we got back, our stomachs stuffed, Donna decided it was time to do laundry... by hand. She had brought soap to wash some clothes in the sink. Everyone in our group did it that way, too. My dad had told me to find a place with laundry service, but honestly, I couldn't find anything that said they had laundry service. The only place that had was my 5 star hotel in Kunming, and they charged, like, $2 per SOCK. Shirts and pants were even more.

Nope. I was going with Donna's plan.

We were going to be there over the weekend, so we'd have plenty of time to make sure our clothes dried. They had plenty of rails and a laundry wire where we both hung our clothes to dry. I also felt very safe and clean at this hotel, so I washed everything I could. It surprisingly did a pretty good job. Some of the water I washed in actually turned dark because of the dirt I was getting out.

After I finished that and showered, we got ready for bed and our last work day before our first "free" day!

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