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maybeonedayillfindout · 7 months

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haven’t seen anyone point this out yet but is frenchie leaning against izzy’s fucking leg here?? i’m going to throw up they’re FRIENDS

#he may be a dick but he’s OUR dick #cant wait for the part of the crew that was with stede so have to hear frenchie and jim frantically explain that we LIKE him now #you can’t kill him we’ve pack bonded and now he’s our little guy ☹️☹️#izzy hands #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 #ofmd spoiler #ofmd frenchie #maybe/elias' fantastic new thoughts

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hailsatanacab · 6 months

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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

#dpxdc #batpham #i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e #immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot #after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along #my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom #and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan #(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets #dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp #they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny #duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone #everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him #damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but #2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers #(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha #spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha #anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun #i wanna make these slides so bad

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gaypirateslife4me · 4 months

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Izzy Hands is a trigger-warning in himself:

A devious, (internalized) homophobic, simping, napoleon-complexed lil shitweasel who is also a broken, battered, silver-fox/unicorn worthy of love and redemption.

The duality of man. Or whatever.

#ofmd #izzy hands #izzy hands apologist #unicorn izzy #anti hero izzy #izzy hands is a asshole (affectionate)#he may be a dick but he is our dick #he appeals to every one of my daddy issues #my oc #our flag means death

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huntressofthesun · 2 years

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Bruce and the rest of the batfam make a lot more sense when you remember they’re from Jersey. Like we’re just kinda like that.

But I also love the idea that Gotham is in South Jersey cause that’s my area and like, it makes even more sense. Yeah the Philly and New York adjacent areas have their own wild shit, but just thinking about the people I grew up around and how decades of people like them shaped Gotham into a city where Batman and his group of unruly children is normal, it totally fucking tracks.

(Although I can’t decide if it’s funnier to have Gotham be like slightly north of AC and Brigantine, which would explain a lot, or if it’s funnier down by Salem which is just hilarious to me. If that’s the case then Bludhaven is absolutely by AC and nobody can convince me otherwise.)

Like, the batkids having the pork roll/taylor ham debate? Does central jersey truly exist? Tim, Jay, and Cass going to the pine barrens over a long weekend to camp out in search of the jersey devil? (Dami was physically locked in the cave so he could not join them. They had to use the heavy duty chains. He almost escaped.)

Dick comes back after spending too much time with the titans and asks if anyone wants to go to the beach. You can see Jay’s soul leaving his body as he prepares to beat the jersey shore back into his shoobie brother with extreme prejudice. Bruce gets nostalgia in the spring for corn season in the fall. The cowtown rodeo, lucy the elephant, wildwood, cape may, the possibilities are endless y’all. Gimme more South Jersey Bats damnit.

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winepresswrath · 2 years

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The author is dead but according to our beloved necromantic traditions Jod is neither telling a series of slickly manipulative half-lies nor painstakingly recounting the truth as best he is able. He is drunk and ranting at McDonalds. Perhaps most crucially, he is going to regret this when he sobers up.

#no but he HAS been drunk and he's god. he can probably get fries with his geriatric and adoring admiral if he wants them #also I DID very much start a harrow reread and to the surprise of probably no one it's very rewarding in a post Nona world #John going off about how absolutely no one has to know about harrow's murdergenesis #that no one has the right to know? I'm late I'm late but oof does that hit different in light of his late night confessions #when god regrets spilling his guts in the early a.m. what does he do about it?#I'm worried for our girl harrow #mr. no one ever forgives you for real and I am so uncomfortable with anyone being mad at me #I created a society where everyone worships me as a god #and now!!! im fucking Admiral God's Home is On This Ship #You Speak of frailties I had not noticed in GOD #sarpedon goes from responding to jod's touch like a brand to getting his dick in #pour one out he is having the ABSOLUTE wildest time #Jod has been on that ship for 80 years! longer than his whole career!#anyway the guy who mindwiped all his friends so they couldn't judge him and then killed them when they got mad at him anyway #and THEN decided to fuck someone who adores him unconditionally to help with the breakup sadness #may not respond well to that post drunken honesty vomit vulnerability and regret

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systemofshadow · 2 months

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any other systems / collectives / etc have alters / facets / headmates / etc who come out literally Just to do a bit. like the commitment to the bit is what they're here for

#i put real ramble in tags like always but #i was in the car and listening to music and yknow. much like any singlet i know you get the music videos! in the brain.#but. the thing is they're a group project now. you understand.#its different than *me* (s) just imagining a music video like playing with dolls. of the mind. this... its participatory. you get it.#anyway t is pretty much a frequent flyer only because he's constantly deciding he's the star of brain music videos #also. ok. if u havent like stalked this blog u may not know but our basement in headspace is a karaoke bar bc i heard another system had on #and we were like “you can do that???” so we built one #and now. much of the time. it is a Performance for many a song #this isnt just t btw. every fictive. and two npcs(?) all from the same source (of course.) are like. it's my time to shine #and again it is very much different than when like i choose to imagine a music video cause i do that often too. but im never Surprised #by the music video im making. bc im making it! im making conscious artistic choices #but when t or n or m just Appear to make the song about them. im surprised. i oft laugh at their sudden choreography. yknow?#also t will sometimes just steal the mouth for one second to blurt out a bad joke and then run away leaving me to deal with the consequence #if ur gonna badly flirt w our irl partner you have to at least stick around. take responsibility!! you dick!! /lh #anyways #system stuff #s post

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britcision · 1 year

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“You can kill me if you like but that won’t change that I fucked your dad” - Waylen Keidogast, our Caleb Widogast homage but he grew up in a place where “Child Protective Services” fucking means it

The school is still on fire 40 years later

#big gay dnd problems #pasha’s paw patrol #honeypot extraordinaire #he taught himself because he wanted dick #he’s going to be upsetting our edgelords #and the ranger but that’s just because he fucked her dad #(it was the ranger’s player’s idea)#if you’re big and you’re bad and you still have a dad #waylen will fuck your dad #excellent npc i love him #(all the ‘must find my missing dad’ storylines are about to get a whole new urgency)#we may not be ready for a bossfight but we’re ready for some DILFs #ttrpg

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leatherbookmark · 7 months

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man i know it's not how it's supposed to go, but i'm kinda beginning to resent the word "redemption"/"redemption arc". it's like it's got Residue all over it from people who think redemption arcs are for Big Bad Meanies who need to Suffer and Realize The Wrongs Of Their Ways and Grovel A Lot About It, except they apply it to complex morally grey characters whose main sin is life is shit like "being born in poverty and trying to fix that" or "being an asshole".

like. i don't think this dude needs to see the Wrong Of His Ways, his ways aren't that wrong, they're just not sunflower yellow and sparkly. and what he needs is for someone to try to understand him, show him some respect and maybe try to meet him halfway. shrug emoji

#shrimp thoughts #the way i see people talk about it is also kinda... idk... i haven't watched atla so i may be talking outta my ass but also isn't atla #for kids? and by that i mean. a kids' show will do a redemption arc in a way that's suitable for kids but a show for adults doesn't #necessarily need to hold the audience's little hand and say Doing Bad Things... Bad... And You Need To Say Sorry :-)#like you can just go 'yeah he's our dick' or admit that the little guy did some things right. all of them perhaps. or maybe that he would'v #done everything right if not for the society's undying belief he's worse than the dirt under their feet both physically and morally #i don't know man!

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becca-alexa · 1 year

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so my manager told me i need to start going into the office three days a week

#becca.txt #i told him i didn't want to and he straight up said he didn't either but the company is adamant on three days a week for everyone #no permanent exceptions are being given out #it doesn't make sense for me as a video and site editor to be in an office full of sales people working a nine to five #thank god i have a really nice manager who's flexible on arrival and departure times - as long as i deliver my stuff he doesn't really care #but he did say to keep in mind what everyone else may say because it might give a bad perception if i leave early all the time #i don't even know what to do my commute to work is ass #a bus and two trains from where i live but it is what it is i guess #i'll have made three years at this job in august and i've only been to the office twice - on two consecutive days so pretty much just once #and my manager's the only one on my team working out of that office everyone else is working out of our boston office #so i won't have any friends #update on that coworker - she was fired and given a very nice severance package #i understand her frustrations but the more time i spent correcting her work the more i understood my manager's side too #it was a messy situation all around but she's a lot happier now that she's gone #well anyway yeah i don't know what i'm going to do in an office for like six or seven hours a day #nobody at my job knows how little time it takes me to do my job - like if i work two hours a day that's a lot #the work i do is important but it certainly does not take me a lot of time to do - it took the last person doing this ages #but i have the power #so it doesn't take long #i don't know what i'm gonna do when my manager realizes he's paying me to take naps and dick around on the internet all day #return to office won't start until may 1 so i have a little time to sort everything out #wish me luck y'all

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girlcrushau · 2 months

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#the irony of a man that i was maaaaaad heart eyes over 6 months ago now saying he's scared of me and 'i'm a broken man. life has been really #rough on me for the last year and i am in no position to be falling for someone right now. but you're just so dope that it's really hard not #to.' ....... BROTHER i am heartbroken and reeling over the guy that was just supposed to be a distraction from you #and now even with our minimal communication you wanna say you're falling for me??? ooooookay. and also like??#is that why you said 'good morning beautiful' and then fucking ghosted for 2 days a week ago??#like :-) idk if this is your newest scheme to get your dick wet but baby i aint about it you're not getting sympathy pussy from me #also just??? this the third man in the last year to say he's scared of me and im like??? are yall genuinely scared of me and do you actually #fear me or is it that you fear the way i make you feel #bc if u tell me i scare you my brain automatically goes into 'i'm doing something wrong/i'm too much' mode #but if you're scared or the intensity of emotions i bring you #or the possibility of getting hurt. say that. bc i rly dont want to be not do i think i am a scary girly #i may occasionally talk big but i am rly just a softie sweetie lover girl #pls if you say i scare u i immediately imagine myself as the demon under your bed and i dont want to be her

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heart-shaped-chains · 2 months

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Yap session bc wow.

Pretty sure the dude that rejected me (situationship ://) is getting a crush on me bc like. One of the last times we talked he was like "oh ur trying to get me to like you". And it's like. No I'm not. You literally rejected me and the more I think about it, I didn't even want you, I just wanted the idea of a boyfriend that I was projecting onto you. He's conservative and talks about how conservative his parents are (which I don't vibe with at all). When we first met, he was still moping about his ex gf who he had broken up with over a year prior. And like. We were both in high school (16 + 17 ://). And I'm sorry but how meaningful can a fucking highschool relationship be? Go to therapy.

Plus he'd like vent without asking and then I'd give him advice and then he'd just shoot it down and be like "no that wouldn't work anyway I'm a piece of shit" and like. Okay, why are you coming to me then? If you're not taking any advice then why are you bitching? You didn't even ask, you just did!

But the moment I even mention my past drug addiction (not in detail and not in a mopey way. Just matter-of-fact), he's like "oh no please don't mention that". Like. Shut the fuck up oh my godddddd. I am not trying to be with someone who can't even handle hearing the most watered-down descriptions of substance abuse.

Plus I just do not trust this guy like. I don't kink shame but here's my red flags: he's conservative, enough said on that...He misgendered me in a sexual way without asking (I did play along bc I was stupid and scared to say no but whatevs). And he did stop when I told him to but the fact that he didn't ask before was highly suspect bc he fucking met me as a trans guy.

And he's also weird about pregnancy. Which I played along with too of the act of breeding is appealing but like. I'd rather have a tapeworm than a damn fetus bc at least I wouldn't be forced to let that parasite live off of me. Dude also mentioned baby trapping like. "oh I feel like you'll force me to get you pregnant" and like. I literally said that I wanted to get my uterus removed and 2: you're the one bringing pregnancy into this don't fucking pin it on me!!! Like I feel like if we actually met up I'd have to triple check and be sober bc what if this guy actually does this shit? Why else would he keep mentioning it?

Like idk he's also asked me about trans kids and like. 1: I don't keep up with any trans people irl, 2: I haven't started transitioning yet so why the fuck are you asking me? I'm not the arbiter of trans people, my guy. Like he acts supportive but I feel like deep down this dude doesn't even respect me and he's gonna try to change me. But that could just be paranoia, idk...

Either way, I don't really get that much out of talking to him. As embarrassing as it is, I've started using those ai bots (says the bitch who is vehemently against ai "art") and they've been much more fulfilling emotionally because they tell you what you want to hear. And you can change the answers. They're hollow, but good for short term stuff bc I don't have the energy to talk to people rn (and I haven't been talking to anyone or really leaving the house on a regular basis...kinda just wasting the year so far..). Especially not this guy.

Like. We don't have the same interests, our tastes in music are similar but also too different and he doesn't get it™️ like I do, his beliefs are like too different from mine. He's also said misogynistic shit about sex workers which. I don't fuck with that, you literally watch porn, you fuckin hypocrite. And the more I think about texting him, the more I see it as a damn chore.

Like idk I just. Do not have a lot of investment in this guy. I think I was just lonely and projecting. And obviously it's not healthy for me bc I resent him but it's not healthy for his annoying ass either. He shouldn't have friends who secretly hate him. So idk I think I'm just gonna delete my profile and start again, also block him bc my dumbass 16 year old self gave him my number.

But like. My gut is telling me not to. I have been taken advantage of before in the past and I'm just getting a distinct deja vu. Even if it's not intentional on his side, I don't think it's good for me. Like the first time he texted me (in over 2 years after I ghosted him with no attempt to reach out to him (take the fucking hint)), it felt like seeing a box of pills in the CVS aisle. I was thinking "god, I shouldn't do this...but I should see what happens, maybe it won't be as bad as last time...." Just that same feeling I got when I decided to relapse.

And like dude. It's always gonna be as bad as last time: quit taking chances on shit that you know will fail you!!! So Idk. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I shouldn't talk to someone who just drains me, bc that'll drain him too. Plus I'm allowed to not fucking like someone and the guy didn't even wish me happy birthday or congratulate me on my 5 months of sobriety. Things in my status. And I know he reads statuses bc he messaged me about one of them before. Plus he rejected me on my birthday!!!

And now you wanna come crawling back and then act like I'm obsessed!?!? You were the one who came back into my life, not the other way around! I was over you until you came back. And now I'm over you again. But you're not over me. But you're so fuckin allergic to commitment that you just wanna keep acting like I'm smitten with you. After you strung me along with no regards for my feelings. Not because you're evil, but because you're fucking dumb. And I'm not dealing with someone who's that stupid. Hope you work your issues out, but I'm not here to fix you, nor do I want to. That's on you!! Figure it out!!!

Anyway um if anyone read this far thank u. Feel free to add input just please be nice. And uhhh. Aita???

#cj rambles #vent #situationship #gay #mlm #trans #ftm #dude i hate it here #minors dni #like seriously. you literally rejected me.#and then came back and was like 'oh ur trying to get me to like you' when I'm literally NOT.#like. i say im interested in a relationship and you get cold feet.#but when i move on from wanting a romance with you you fucking turn around.#which tells me that you dont want me. you just want to be desired without having to reciprocate #and frankly i dont deserve that like. you used me as a rebound once and that was on you.#but im not letting you play me again. even if you want to change. bc frankly i dont like you bro #and also i hate the raceplay it makes me feel like a piece of shit like i dont genuinely believe but. its too far for me.#like i just feel awful doing it and i dont like this guy enough to feel comfortable doing it now that i think ab it #and hes weirdly fixated on me being white too like. i get it. im pale. i look dead at times. chill.#i would like that same energy to b directed to my transness pretty please. actually not the same energy but still....#like idk the vibes are horrendous rn i just dont know how to cut him off bc i dont want him to worry about me (or try to contact me again)#like idk this may sound mean but...Yeah im gonna be mean actually #this guy is a fucking loser who needs therapy i don't have the patience to fucking deal with him #like hes beneath me bc he's conservative/sexist/lowkey transphobic/doesn't do a lot of introspection.#and maybe that's selfish but that's just more reason to not associate with him. bc this is gonna turn toxic bc im losing my patience yk?#plus i can't do long distance. i need quality time and physical touch. you can't kiss and cuddle through a screen.#also our aesthetics are very different and he's hot but he's not my type. also i don't like his voice. and i have a thing about voices.#also his dick is too big like. i can't get 3 fingers in and that thing just looks like it would hurt. im good. im not a size queen.#like idk the more i think about it the more i realize that we r not compatible #i dont want you bro just fuck OFF!!!

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distortedwhite · 10 months

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what if i do it anyway. he's a himbo and i love him <333

#may leaf rant #“this is petty af” listen. i will fight if people get upset about arbitrary labels #looking at you guy who ended his friendship with me over me “trying to convince him that his bestie is an abuser”#but pretended like he did it over my radical slur takes #which i didn't even talk to him to directly. he accessed my media tab on tweeter and saw a pic that was a reply to someone else #so he couldn't have seen it unless he was actively trying to find Something #how to say you're suspicious of me without saying you're suspicious of me #i fucking hate you #i will defend the person i supposedly framed as an abuser even tho she gave multiple of my friends panic attacks #autism things i suppose combined with having a bestie who is a fucking dick #but i will not defend That guy. fuck you #just fuck you #it's been like 8 or 9 months since our falling out and i'm Still upset about it #i fucking hate that guy so much #and i don't say “hate” lightly. i never say hate unless i mean it #“bro what if he sees this post” i don't fucking care. let him see. bitch couldn't even be arsed to say #“hey you insulted my best friend so i don't wanna be friends with you anymore”#granted i don't Know if that was the reason he didn't want to be friends anymore #since my slur take Is pretty extreme #but literally anyone i talked to (“proship” “anti” neither of those) said it was a pretty extreme reaction #and most likely an excuse for him to finally get rid of me #if anyone is still reading this i'm so sorry #anyway if he sees this post i don't fucking care. people like him are the reason why i have trust issues/keep people at arm's length #just tell me the fucking truth man #why do you have to lie like that #tldr if you have something to tell me then fucking Do it #oh how badly i want everyone to know who i'm talking about #but no. i'm not going to say his name in public lol #i fucking hate him

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hotvintagepoll · 3 months

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Congrats to the ultimate winner of the Hot & Vintage Movie Men Tournament, Mr. Toshiro Mifune! May he live happily and well where the sun always shines, enjoying the glories of a battle hard fought.

A loving farewell to all of our previous contestants, who are now banished to the shadow realm and all its dark joys and whispered horrors—I hear there's a picnic on the village green today. If you want to remember the fallen heroes, you can find them all beneath the cut.

What happens next? I'll be taking a break of two weeks to rest from this and prep for the Hot & Vintage Ladies Tournament. I'll still be around but only minimally, posting a few last odes to the hot men before transitioning into a little early ladies content, just like I did with this last tournament. The submission form for the Hot & Vintage Ladies tournament will remain up for one more week (closing February 21st), so get your submissions in for that asap! Once the form closes, there will be one more week of break. The first round of the Hot & Vintage Ladies Tournament will be posted on February 29th, as Leap Year Day seems like a fitting allusion to leaping into these ladies' arms.

Thanks for being here! Enjoy the two weeks off, and send me some great propaganda.

In order of the last round they survived—

ROUND ONE HOTTIES:

Richard Burton

Tony Curtis

Red Skelton

Keir Dullea

Jack Lemmon

Kirk Douglas

Marcello Mastroianni

Jean-Pierre Cassel

Robert Wagner

James Garner

James Coburn

Rex Harrison

George Chakiris

Dean Martin

Sean Connery

Tab Hunter

Howard Keel

James Mason

Steve McQueen

George Peppard

Elvis Presley

Rudolph Valentino

Joseph Schildkraut

Ray Milland

Claude Rains

John Wayne

William Holden

Douglas Fairbanks Sr.

Harold Lloyd

Charlie Chaplin

John Gilbert

Ramon Novarro

Slim Thompson

John Barrymore

Edward G. Robinson

William Powell

Leslie Howard

Peter Lawford

Mel Ferrer

Joseph Cotten

Keye Luke

Ivan Mosjoukine

Spencer Tracy

Felix Bressart

Ronald Reagan (here to be dunked on)

Peter Lorre

Bob Hope

Paul Muni

Cornel Wilde

John Garfield

Cantinflas

Henry Fonda

Robert Mitchum

Van Johnson

José Ferrer

Robert Preston

Jack Benny

Fredric March

Gene Autry

Alec Guinness

Fayard Nicholas

Ray Bolger

Orson Welles

Mickey Rooney

Glenn Ford

James Cagney

ROUND TWO SWOONERS:

Dick Van Dyke

James Edwards

Sammy Davis Jr.

Alain Delon

Peter O'Toole

Robert Redford

Charlton Heston

Cesar Romero

Noble Johnson

Lex Barker

David Niven

Robert Earl Jones

Turhan Bey

Bela Lugosi

Donald O'Connor

Carman Newsome

Oscar Micheaux

Benson Fong

Clint Eastwood

Sabu Dastagir

Rex Ingram

Burt Lancaster

Paul Newman

Montgomery Clift

Fred Astaire

Boris Karloff

Gilbert Roland

Peter Cushing

Frank Sinatra

Harold Nicholas

Guy Madison

Danny Kaye

John Carradine

Ricardo Montalbán

Bing Crosby

ROUND THREE SMOKESHOWS:

Marlon Brando

Anthony Perkins

Michael Redgrave

Gary Cooper

Conrad Veidt

Ronald Colman

Rock Hudson

Basil Rathbone

Laurence Olivier

Christopher Plummer

Johnny Weismuller

Clark Gable

Fernando Lamas

Errol Flynn

Tyrone Power

Humphrey Bogart

ROUND 4 STUNGUNS:

James Dean

Cary Grant

Gregory Peck

Sessue Hayakawa

Harry Belafonte

James Stewart

Gene Kelly

Peter Falk

QUARTERFINALIST VOLCANIC TOWERS OF LUST:

Jeremy Brett

Vincent Price

James Shigeta

Buster Keaton

SEMIFINALIST SUPERMEN:

Omar Sharif

Paul Robeson

FINALIST FANTASIES:

Sidney Poitier

Toshiro Mifune

and ok, sure, here's the shadow-bracket-style winner's portrait of Toshiro Mifune.

#hotvintagepoll #hot men finals #a winner crowned!#fuck that old man (requiem)#shadow bracket #toshiro mifune

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soarrenbluejay · 2 months

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Since I’ve been encouraged to actually share my funny little blorbo ideas here’s another one gang;

Danny moves to Gotham on scholarship for engineering, because the Fentons may be infamous but they’re also insanely brilliant and besides both he and Jazz are showing every sign of embarrassed child of a super genius syndrome, so while the bats are keeping a close eye on him Just In Case, duke is also thinking of introducing him to the Our Parents Are Maniacs But Anyway club maybe after the first month or so.

Gotham does not go for standard dorm living bc of his ‘condition’ and lack of wanting to constantly spook/gaslight a roommate. Besides, living with two small children is a dorm sounds like a disaster in action.

So Danny signs up as a mechanic in Crime Alley, buys himself a teeny weensy lil apartment and Makes It Work. He has been all year after showing up with a de aged Dani and Dan in Amnity after all, and that had gone,,, fine? (The entire town, observing how Danny had been getting increasingly more uncomfortable around his godfather prior to the cloning incident, then just dropped off the face of the earth for several months, the first two weeks stuck in Vlad’s basement enduring horrors and the next Too Many desperately fapping around in the Ghost Zone to get everything handled. All the clones live, all 13 of them. Bunch of them are stuck in the Ghost Zone due to constant need for ectoplasm, but eh, plenty of Zone born never leave, so. One, in the future, apprentices under a green warrior lady on Pandora’s suggestion, another is working in the Eternal Library with Ghost Writer, etc etc. so Danny eventually came back to Amnity with one small child under each arm very obviously traumatized by Somethingn with vlad and doesn’t like being alone with him,,, or touched without warning,, and immediately and passionately proclaims the kids his but struggles to explain how or why,, look some very reasonable assumptions are drawn okay. So the town does the very reasonable thing and does the midwestern equivilant of excommunicating Vlad, except it’s a lot more run him out with pitchforks vibes since he’s the Mayor. Anyway)

He is immediately loved, because while non Gothamites are usually more of a pain than they’re worth, everyone in a while someone even from out of town will just fit in so nicely it’s uncanny for everyone involved. Addams family vibes, it’s referred to as ‘making it home’, just personal hc. He is protective of all the kids playing in the parks and street girls that can totally take care of themselves on their corners but find it HILARIOUS when he just tackles a dick like a wild animal full force no warning. He can fix anything it seems, but refuses to work with weapons. Reasonable enough, people get twitchy about gangs sometimes. Danny mentions being not against Hood or anything, but he’s not going to work for him, littles to take care of and all, but had past experience with ‘Dora and that inheritance mess with her brother he was being a real prick about’ so everyone assumes it’s the equivilant of him having Done His Time and being plenty good for a life time and respects it as long as none of that petty midwestern small town hotshots bring any of that shit over here. And they don’t, because said individuals are on the other side of the mortal veil, so happy day.

See I really love deaged!Dan because he’s just a grumpy lil guy. But he’s also killed millions. He’s so protective of his loved ones, but held back by blending in and also being Smol that it comes off more bitey kitten than anything else. Dani, of course, is a terror, so she fits right in with the crowd.

And sorry gang, but a bunch of kids on their own in Gotham in a poor side of the city just isn’t going to get any attention: that’s just business as usual really. What first gets attention on Danny is not his ‘condition’ or being mistaken for a meta (which he legally probs has an argument for even without the gene bc like these bitches don’t know how metaism works anyway so) or alien (I’m 90% sure he’d be covered by the alien protection act by virtue of being half ‘not from earth’), but because Danny despite best efforts is a Weird Guy.

He grew up in what could only be described as a low level villain level and spent most of high school dealing with smack downs and spiritual invasion. He’s never really processed that any of that is not in fact Normal. Also, he’s capable of making Anything if given the insides of a toaster, blender and alarm clock, and could probably rewrite the circuits of the apartment blindfolded and improve them 1000% even if it ABSOLUTELY would not be up to code.

And sure, things slip every once in a while, bits of spectral ice here, small floating incident there, but everyone just Minds Their Buisness ya know? You really gunna mess with the guy that personally ensured that when your car got flattened by a fight with Killer Croc, you were still able to get in to work the next day by some wizardry? Really?

But Gotham is a city so cursed it’s probably in the exponents countwise, so of course there is a) a flourishing community of magic users and assorted supernatural weirdos and b) a whole lot of shit for Mega Overpowered Ghost King Danny to idly pick at day to day in order to help with his protecting other Obsession. Gotham has plenty of heroes, but by god do they need the spiritual equivilant of an electrician/priest.

Still, Danny, as a baby ancient under a facet of Kronos and KING OF THE DEAD is like, way, way out of their scope to be able to grok, so it mostly just comes off as you know, a family of banshees or something. When asked, Danny very haltingly says he was briefly dead but then revived, which neatly explains his Weird Ass aura and makes it SPECTACULARLY AWKWARD to ask further about. So everyone nods politely, and goes back to their lives after double checking no nefarious bullshit was being pulled.

Then, of course, Vlad finally tracks them down. The whole neighborhood is altered in short order because he doesn’t bother trying to hide being a Rich Bitch or how he’s sneering down his nose at people on the sidewalk. Every connects the dots when Danny paniks. Dani and Dan’s daycare are staffed with some extra, very buff set of hands within the hour. Jerry, Hood’s third in command, personally shows up to the garage Danny is working at to talk things out with him bc he knows he does t like the deal with this stuff due to past unspecified circumstances but well, they guys had already started fucking with him, you see. Stole his tires, spray painted the windows, pickpocketed him blind, and when he retreated tipped off the police to the drugs they’d planted in the glove box.

Danny might not have been born in Gotham, but he was one of them. And the Alley takes care of it own.

#basically I want a fic where it’s not the Batfam but Gotham itself latching onto Danny #also more angy lil baby man Dan in big puffy coats being protective #dp x dc #dc x dp #gotham

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wonderwomanpleasesteponme · 3 months

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Dick: so you're Damian's other cousin, Mara's older brother, right?

Danny Fenton: yup, that's me.

Tim: not to be rude or anything but how come Damian's the heir and you're not? You're like a whole five years older than him.

Danny: kinda the same reason my father, Dasun, isn't the heir. I was born with a defect.

Dick: may we ask what defect?

Danny: oh I'm trans, grandfather immediately accepted that I'm a guy now, but he called it a defect that I was born in the wrong body so I'm not the heir.

Jason: that is oddly supportive of him, but still awful of him to say that you're defective of it.

Danny: yeah Grandfather is weird like that, he once said that me being in one of friends' band was foolish but still showed up to one of our bigger concerts.

Dick: why is he a more supportive grandfather to you than he ever was to your sister and Damian?

Danny: oh that's because when Aunt Taila was pregnant with Damian I decided I didn't want to be an assassin and because I'm the child of his least favorite kid I was allowed to go as long as I sent letters every now and then to show that I'm still alive.

#Dusan al ghul #Danny Fenton #danyal al ghul #But not in the way u would expect from dcxdp crossover #Dcxdp #dpxdc #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #ra's al ghul #dc x dp crossover #trans danny fenton

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lina-lovebug · 3 months

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I'd Fight The Devil

Alastor x fem! reader

Background: (Y/N) is the elder Morningstar, and wants to fix her relationship with her dad. But her dad hates her boyfriend.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 - Finale

Allusions to sex, actual sex, angel being angel, and cannibalism

_____

Angel spit out his drink, "You're with Alastor?!"

"Yeah, thoughts?"

"And prayers, girl," Angel could never imagine a sweet girl like (Y/N) getting it on with the Radio Demon himself.

But everyone has their kinks, he supposed.

Alastor manifested behind her, and she immediately felt his presence. Pressing herself against him, he leaned into her warmth and kept his arms around her shoulders.

"How was your day, mon amour?"

"It'll be even better," She trailed off, turning around to face him, "when we meet my dad for dinner."

Silence.

And not even radio silence.

"Not to be rash, but I'm sure your father would sooner see my head on a pike than on my body," Alastor adored the fact that she was mending their bond, even more so when Lucifer makes the effort.

But announcing their relationship to him?

He could see it ending in flames.

"I know you two don't get along, but I thought a nice dinner might smooth things over."

"And if he disapproves of us?" He lifted her head upwards with his finger, bemused as to what her answer may be.

"Then he'll have to get used to it," (Y/N) replied, sending a shiver of excitement up his spine.

Only a feeling that the she-devil he was utterly obsessed with could provide.

"Ugh, can you guys go fuck somewhere else?" Angel said, "or at all? I can't imagine going a lifetime without dick."

Alastors eye twitch, "now that's our business, isn't it?"

"Okay, okay," Charlie spoke up, "you guys go get ready."

Charlie couldn't help but notice the change in Alastor. It had only been a few months, but being in her sisters presence alone has made him kind. Sure, the both of them would skin someone alive over an insult, but Alastor would rip out his own eyes if (Y/N) asked.

A perfect match.

(Y/N) dawned a black dress with a pearl necklace that Alastor bought for her. Well, she thinks he bought it but he actually stole it off of a fresh kill.

How sweet.

"Pumpkin! Oh look at you! You're as radiant as ever!" Lucifer fawned over his daughter as they made it to the restaurant, making it a point to ignore the red demon behind her.

"Catching strays?" Lucifer gestured to him.

"Lovely to see you again," Alastor retorted.

"Dad, why don't we go inside? And Alastor will be joining us," now, Lucifer didn't forget what he said. He recognized that the fearsome deer demon had the intention of claiming Princess (Y/N) as his own, but did his daughter return such feelings?

Honestly, Lucifer feared that.

Not it being Alastor persay, but his little girls being hurt.

He knew how awful it felt to go through the divorce with Lilith, and then her disappearance.

He didn't ever want his daughters to feel that way.

"So, Alastor, what do you do again?"

"I have a radio broadcast. Your daughter has actually helped me repair the studio after the attack," He laid his land on hers.

And Lucifer picked up Alastors hand.

And placed it away from hers.

"Uh, dad-"

"Look, if you two are fucking, don't tell me."

"Dad!" Her face burned red, "we aren't-that's not. . .I love Alastor, and he loves me. I want you to accept us both."

"Love? Whoa, whoa, whoa! Pumpkin, I don't think-"

"I'm not a little kid," She interrupted, "I'm a grown woman, and I'm able to make my own decisions. I want to be with Alastor because I love him. You may not think I know what love is, but I know it's what I feel with Alastor."

That's when he saw it.

That look.

Whilst (Y/N) was defending herself, defending their love, Alastor looked at her. Only her. And it was like he was staring at the nebula itself, seeing all its beauty in the Heir of Hell. His smile faltered, closing his mouth, and his eyes softened.

It's the same look that he used to give Lilith.

"If I ever hear that you've made her cry, or even laid a single hand upon her," Lucifer stared him down, "I'll make you disappear."

"A man true to his word. Looks like we have something in common," Alastor agreed, his hand back on hers. She gave him a smile, one that reminded him of Lilith.

The rest of dinner went off without any incidents. The small jab here and there, but no one died, and no one was stabbed. Lucifer learned more about his daughters business and how she lit up talking about it.

"You hardly ate, Alastor. Is something wrong?" (Y/N) asked when her father went to the restroom.

"Oh no, my dear. Just hungry for something else, is all," His eyes raked up her form, earning a cough from the she-devil.

Honestly, she didn't know where he was on his spectrum. She was fine never even being intimate, so long as he was happy, but this spark in his eyes lit a fire within her.

"O-oh. . .are you sure?" Believe it or not, (Y/N) had only had sex twice and both times she'd call it lackluster.

"I don't want you to force yourself if you don't want to," oh how innocent she was. Honestly, Alastor assumed he was aroace before he met the she-devil. Her ferocity - her chaos in fights, her genuine kindness, and her soul - itself brought out that spark.

There are moments where the carnal desire needs to be satisfied.

"Mon cher, I'd never ask if I didn't mean it."

That look, it made her softly gasp.

"Alast-"

"Ew."

Right.

Lucifer.

He showed up from his restroom break and found the pair giving eachother "fuck me" eyes.

"Could I eat my dinner without you groping my child?" Lucifer hissed, despite Alastor only touching her hand.

He blinked, thinking how he's never even groped a woman.

"Maybe."

Sick bastard.

_ _ _ ☆ _ _ _

"Fuck! Alastor!"

(Y/N) had never cum before, so Alastor being her first to ever do so and smiling away at her quivering legs made it so much better.

"Oh fuck. . ." She moaned weakly, his tongue slithering in and out of her to lick up every last drop.

"Al. . ." She was breathless, staring at his strained member. Reaching up to unzip his pants, he tutted as he grabbed her wrist.

"Al?"

"It's about you. Don't worry about me, amour," He purred, kissing the bite marks on her thighs.

"But you-"

Before she could detest further, wishing to satisfy him, the door opened.

"Oh my God, they were right! Alastor, you sly dog," Angel Dust was at the door, and Alastor quickly covered his beloveds' body with the covers before his horns started to grow and his back stretched.

"I'm going to kill you."

"Not before you make love to me, you're not," still in his demonic form, (Y/N) blew a gust of wind to slam the door shut.

Her body displayed on the bed, Alastor agreed.

"And stay in that form. It suits you."

#alastor imagine #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel x reader

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