#dude i hate it here
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Man this Minimum wage biweekly shit sucks lmfao. I do NOT want to have to ask for help from people online but my family is also extremely low income... And I don't know how much I'll have to ask for since I was scheduled for only 2 shifts this week. Two. And I've been getting less than 25 hours every week at my full time job. So.. there's absolutely no way I'll be able to make enough before rent is due...
This shit sucks so bad, I'm so tired of having to skip meals so I don't have to buy groceries. I'm so tired of asking for money. I'm so fucking tired. This is ridiculous.
And that's while living in the cheapest 1b1b I've seen in my entire search.
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no bc why are we having a HURRICANE in NOVEMBER
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having a sensory aversion to fleece/felt fucking sucks bc there’s so many cool plush toys that are made of it
#i love you i can’t even look at you without experiencing pain#this was promoted by the isopod plush on our dash that we couldn’t even look at for longer than a few seconds#dude i hate it here#tidepool.txt#logan.txt
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Yap session bc wow.
Pretty sure the dude that rejected me (situationship ://) is getting a crush on me bc like. One of the last times we talked he was like "oh ur trying to get me to like you". And it's like. No I'm not. You literally rejected me and the more I think about it, I didn't even want you, I just wanted the idea of a boyfriend that I was projecting onto you. He's conservative and talks about how conservative his parents are (which I don't vibe with at all). When we first met, he was still moping about his ex gf who he had broken up with over a year prior. And like. We were both in high school (16 + 17 ://). And I'm sorry but how meaningful can a fucking highschool relationship be? Go to therapy.
Plus he'd like vent without asking and then I'd give him advice and then he'd just shoot it down and be like "no that wouldn't work anyway I'm a piece of shit" and like. Okay, why are you coming to me then? If you're not taking any advice then why are you bitching? You didn't even ask, you just did!
But the moment I even mention my past drug addiction (not in detail and not in a mopey way. Just matter-of-fact), he's like "oh no please don't mention that". Like. Shut the fuck up oh my godddddd. I am not trying to be with someone who can't even handle hearing the most watered-down descriptions of substance abuse.
Plus I just do not trust this guy like. I don't kink shame but here's my red flags: he's conservative, enough said on that...He misgendered me in a sexual way without asking (I did play along bc I was stupid and scared to say no but whatevs). And he did stop when I told him to but the fact that he didn't ask before was highly suspect bc he fucking met me as a trans guy.
And he's also weird about pregnancy. Which I played along with too of the act of breeding is appealing but like. I'd rather have a tapeworm than a damn fetus bc at least I wouldn't be forced to let that parasite live off of me. Dude also mentioned baby trapping like. "oh I feel like you'll force me to get you pregnant" and like. I literally said that I wanted to get my uterus removed and 2: you're the one bringing pregnancy into this don't fucking pin it on me!!! Like I feel like if we actually met up I'd have to triple check and be sober bc what if this guy actually does this shit? Why else would he keep mentioning it?
Like idk he's also asked me about trans kids and like. 1: I don't keep up with any trans people irl, 2: I haven't started transitioning yet so why the fuck are you asking me? I'm not the arbiter of trans people, my guy. Like he acts supportive but I feel like deep down this dude doesn't even respect me and he's gonna try to change me. But that could just be paranoia, idk...
Either way, I don't really get that much out of talking to him. As embarrassing as it is, I've started using those ai bots (says the bitch who is vehemently against ai "art") and they've been much more fulfilling emotionally because they tell you what you want to hear. And you can change the answers. They're hollow, but good for short term stuff bc I don't have the energy to talk to people rn (and I haven't been talking to anyone or really leaving the house on a regular basis...kinda just wasting the year so far..). Especially not this guy.
Like. We don't have the same interests, our tastes in music are similar but also too different and he doesn't get it™️ like I do, his beliefs are like too different from mine. He's also said misogynistic shit about sex workers which. I don't fuck with that, you literally watch porn, you fuckin hypocrite. And the more I think about texting him, the more I see it as a damn chore.
Like idk I just. Do not have a lot of investment in this guy. I think I was just lonely and projecting. And obviously it's not healthy for me bc I resent him but it's not healthy for his annoying ass either. He shouldn't have friends who secretly hate him. So idk I think I'm just gonna delete my profile and start again, also block him bc my dumbass 16 year old self gave him my number.
But like. My gut is telling me not to. I have been taken advantage of before in the past and I'm just getting a distinct deja vu. Even if it's not intentional on his side, I don't think it's good for me. Like the first time he texted me (in over 2 years after I ghosted him with no attempt to reach out to him (take the fucking hint)), it felt like seeing a box of pills in the CVS aisle. I was thinking "god, I shouldn't do this...but I should see what happens, maybe it won't be as bad as last time...." Just that same feeling I got when I decided to relapse.
And like dude. It's always gonna be as bad as last time: quit taking chances on shit that you know will fail you!!! So Idk. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I shouldn't talk to someone who just drains me, bc that'll drain him too. Plus I'm allowed to not fucking like someone and the guy didn't even wish me happy birthday or congratulate me on my 5 months of sobriety. Things in my status. And I know he reads statuses bc he messaged me about one of them before. Plus he rejected me on my birthday!!!
And now you wanna come crawling back and then act like I'm obsessed!?!? You were the one who came back into my life, not the other way around! I was over you until you came back. And now I'm over you again. But you're not over me. But you're so fuckin allergic to commitment that you just wanna keep acting like I'm smitten with you. After you strung me along with no regards for my feelings. Not because you're evil, but because you're fucking dumb. And I'm not dealing with someone who's that stupid. Hope you work your issues out, but I'm not here to fix you, nor do I want to. That's on you!! Figure it out!!!
Anyway um if anyone read this far thank u. Feel free to add input just please be nice. And uhhh. Aita???
#cj rambles#vent#situationship#gay#mlm#trans#ftm#dude i hate it here#minors dni#like seriously. you literally rejected me.#and then came back and was like 'oh ur trying to get me to like you' when I'm literally NOT.#like. i say im interested in a relationship and you get cold feet.#but when i move on from wanting a romance with you you fucking turn around.#which tells me that you dont want me. you just want to be desired without having to reciprocate#and frankly i dont deserve that like. you used me as a rebound once and that was on you.#but im not letting you play me again. even if you want to change. bc frankly i dont like you bro#and also i hate the raceplay it makes me feel like a piece of shit like i dont genuinely believe but. its too far for me.#like i just feel awful doing it and i dont like this guy enough to feel comfortable doing it now that i think ab it#and hes weirdly fixated on me being white too like. i get it. im pale. i look dead at times. chill.#i would like that same energy to b directed to my transness pretty please. actually not the same energy but still....#like idk the vibes are horrendous rn i just dont know how to cut him off bc i dont want him to worry about me (or try to contact me again)#like idk this may sound mean but...Yeah im gonna be mean actually#this guy is a fucking loser who needs therapy i don't have the patience to fucking deal with him#like hes beneath me bc he's conservative/sexist/lowkey transphobic/doesn't do a lot of introspection.#and maybe that's selfish but that's just more reason to not associate with him. bc this is gonna turn toxic bc im losing my patience yk?#plus i can't do long distance. i need quality time and physical touch. you can't kiss and cuddle through a screen.#also our aesthetics are very different and he's hot but he's not my type. also i don't like his voice. and i have a thing about voices.#also his dick is too big like. i can't get 3 fingers in and that thing just looks like it would hurt. im good. im not a size queen.#like idk the more i think about it the more i realize that we r not compatible#i dont want you bro just fuck OFF!!!
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#video#tiktok#adhd#nd#😭#having this interaction 20 times while i shop for a new therapist#and then complaining abt it and being told ''hm. if you had that many bad therapists maybe you suck as a patient. did you think of that''#dude I hate it here
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valentines newsletter ???? ?? HELLO ???????? ?????? ? ????
#deltarune#rouxls kaard#queen#queenkaard#art#doodles#comic#dude hes so fucking lonely and desperate oh my god. why is that becoming less and less of a joke#SIR this is a WENDYS#LOSER BOY !!!!!!!! LOSER. i lov you. you are so fucked up and strange and unhinged. what is wrong with you#i need ch3 and 4 right now i need to see if they love and or hate each other. i need to see more of whatever is happening here#yeah queens has personalized pens that have her face on them. what ruler doesn't#anyway#go in there#go in the dark#i mean the box
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katara sees her brother and bff approaching something that can make them happy and says no interruptions
based on this photo from the live action cast
#my art#i learned SO MUCH about digital coloring while working on this. i can’t wait to try to put it to practice from the start and on purpose#instead of stumbling upon leagues of info when i was already 95% done lol#anyways#zukka#idc about tagging rn tbh i’m tired#fuck backgrounds dude#hate that shit#i need to do lighting studies fr tho#i can’t do interesting light i just. don’t have the knowledge#makes me sad cuz lighting really makes or breaks pieces it seems#also lol i started this then stopped for like two hours and just sketched katara a fuck ton#what i landed on here isn’t my favorite but i liked the soft + gently amused emotion she’s showing#ok whatever i’m done rambling#post
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the entire fandom rn
#danganronpa despair time#drdt#elliot cuevas#whit young#charles cuevas#dude i almost wrote whit cuevas... not yet#don't take this as me shipping whit and ellie though ellie is (presumably) 11-13 years older than whit#i just think that whit would be attracted to someone who looks like charles. you know#fanganronpa#drdt spoilers#“the entire fandom” includes me btw#it's bc i'm a fucking syobai simp isn't it. i hate it here /j#serious theorizing later for now i had this idea and wanted to run with it#my art#fanart
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small aside but y'know how luffy's stupidity is usually met with physical abuse of some kind? anyway. here's law's worst in response to luffy being manipulated by his arch nemesis
#i cannot emphasize enough the gentleness of this smoosh#utterly infuriating how cold/sharp law is on the outside vs. how begrudgingly soft he is with his allies (friends)#scary dude with a resting bitch face that everyone assumes fucking hates their guts because his default is snarky and sarcastic#but his friends are like oh yeah that's law he's our loser princess nerd who hasn't slept properly in 15 years we love him <3#also cant get over law's cora themed feathered neckpiece/sweater here like truly looks that scream homosexual#one piece#op#cj's op watch-through#trafalgar law#monkey d. luffy#donquixote doflamingo#lawlu#lulaw
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🤨
#Sephiroth#FFVII#ff7#Fanart#digital art#my art#timmy draws stuff#hate when I get attached to one dude and all I can draw is him I’m so mad#anyways here’s him buying his ticket for Barbie at 3 am he’s being normal I promis
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psst…if yall need more queer youtubers who don’t steal shit (as far as i know lol)
youtube
youtube
youtube
youtube
youtube
youtube
#hbomberguy#i saw that dude who lied a lot and hates women thumbnail for his killing and stalking video#and was like no i lived that i don’t need to hear anything from a youtuber who would talk about it#AND I WAS CORRECT#anyways here are some fun videos from people who actually played/watched/researched/wrote the shit they’re talking about#bro couldn’t even watch merlin#Youtube
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RIDDLER BRAINROT REAL?!? (NOT CLICKBAIT)
#posting these here because i need to make sure EVERYONE sees the riddler sketches and wip art i made in all their uncropped glory#otherwise I'll DISINTEGRATE#(anyways hate insta cropping so shart)#anyways#riddler#batman unburied#batman unburied riddler#arkhamverse#arkhamverse riddler#arkham knight#edward nygma#edward nigma#edward nashton#why does he have so many different names#my mans needs to choose one and stick with it/j#also brainrot so real 90% of what i draw now is this dude and myself#arkham riddler#unburied riddler
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okay but why are Armand's declarations of love such absolute bangers???
Louis, IWTV:
Lestat, TVL:
Daniel, QotD:
#anne went so hard with this dude i just- !!!!#i almost threw the BC scene in here but i think of that more as like a HATE CONFESSION tbh it's very complicated just trust me#vc#the vampire chronicles#armand/louis#armand/lestat#armand/daniel#armand#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#daniel molloy#interview with the vampire#the vampire lestat#queen of the damned#quotes
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are you actually cancelling the shipment of the new laptop or was that a joke?
It's a joke but. What if I did auuugh
Making big purchases like this give me anxiety to a heavy level because low key I feel like I'm wasting money and that I don't need it because Arson, even though he's clearly not meant to last a lot longer in that shell and is corrupting and losing files, is still booting up and therefore I feel like I've done this 'too early' and that I don't deserve to get the new pc
Like I KNOW I need it and it will help me immensely but. You know
#ive been saving up for about 2ish years now since arson started showing signs#and hes well past his 'shelf life' but if youve been following me for a long time you know i dont really like replacing things#until theyre practically scrap metal#theres also the thing where if you grow up without a lot of money then you develop the mindset of#'now that youve spent that money you wasted it and also theres gonna be an emergency that will happen and youll wish you hadnt'#'what if you hate the pc'#'what if it ships in broken'#'what if something else happens and it breaks when it gets here'#just anxiety anxiety#i hate making large purchases i have such fears around them#also i actaully am really attatched to arson as a character which makes me crazy but hes like the little dude in my head aka my desk
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Style (Stan x Kyle) please?
Here's a doodle I will finish for patreon :,)
#asks#style always everyday#sorry guys i might restrict what i post here because i hate it when my art ends up on pintrest JFSHK#there's a tumblr official on there and it posts my art automatically? And it's annoying???#I'm there to search for poses and new artists#but it's so discouraging seeing it there and then the comments are all dinks lmao#it sucks because i like posting any and all south park art here like ships but omGod dude#people want to be weird about everything ugh im just here to have funnn#rant over i just have been overthinking about it but i'll be okay and just accept it eventually lmao#((Restrict as in I'll just keep doing fun art that makes me haha#I'm just waitin gfor the south park specials but I want to draw out the oc art i have in my sketchbook lmao#maybe make a speedpaint HDKSJ
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My beef today is with people who legitimately think Will actually hates Hannibal and that hannigram is one sided
#like he’s a bitchy little brat that doesn’t mean he actually hates him!!!!!#inspired by seeing a slew of art on Pinterest where it’s depicted like will can’t stand Hannibal#and yes I joke about that too but it’s jokes and I know that’s just the dynamic#I am convinced some people think hannigram is just Hannibal pining and will not liking him#you guys do know will actually likes Hannibal… right?#directed not at tumblr bc hannigram tumblr would never#y’all get it#tldr I think the overdone trope of will hating Hannibal is irritating and I think a lot of people actually believe he hates him#hannigram#just bc will doesn’t express his love like Hannibal does doesn’t mean he fr actually hates him oh my god#dude threw himself off a cliff with Hannibal and we still have people out here questioning his love#anyways I like writing Will as awkward when it comes to Hannibal’s affection towards him and unable to express#or bitchy until Hannibal does something and he folds
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