The author is dead but according to our beloved necromantic traditions Jod is neither telling a series of slickly manipulative half-lies nor painstakingly recounting the truth as best he is able. He is drunk and ranting at McDonalds. Perhaps most crucially, he is going to regret this when he sobers up.

Don't you look at me in that tone of voice!

Firstly, for anyone who caught yesterday's little offering.....hi! I made it, here I am, Mrs Consistency in the making!

Just needed to get that one out there before diving into musing on a topic/subject/lesson which has been preoccupying me for some time, namely acceptance. Outrageous Acceptance.

I know, I know....but please don't look at me like it's a dirty word, because as uncomfortable as this one is, it can be all the difference. It can be the deciding factor in one's future, one's happiness, one's ability to face the world and keep going.

The problem is that acceptance is one of those character traits that is developed by, well, by enduring those 'character-building' trials and tribulations that make acceptance necessary!

....which means that the development of OUTRAGEOUS ACCEPTANCE has necessitated a whole load of unacceptable things to happen in my life to teach me depth upon depth of how acceptance goes.

and in my opinion that sucks. big time! What perhaps sucks more is that my reluctance to accept certain things in my life has only prolonged the misery and that if I had maybe managed to integrate this life lesson in a more timely manner, I wouldn't be sitting here having just turned 40, once again reassessing the derelict landscape following my previous attempt at building a life being razed to the ground. yet again.

You see, I have been here, or somewhere like it more times than I care to think about.....there is far too much to go into and this list is far from exhaustive, just to give you a flavour of my adult life really....from my first domestic violence relationship when I was 17, having my first child born 12 weeks premature due to the violence within that relationship at 18 all the way through failed marriages (3), depression, PTSD, loss of career due to an accident at work injuring my back, domestic violence again 2017-2020 where I was kept in sub human conditions like an animal, and yet again 2021 a brief but terrifyingly violent relationship which also cost me thousands through financial abuse, I have lost my house, my car, my money, my career (debatably my sanity!), am still awaiting CPS clearance to prosecute my ex for the violence in 2021, have had businesses fail, every attempt to re-invent myself or better myself has come to nothing, have had various health complications to deal with and have single parented for most of the 21 years I have been a parent and I have never been an adult without being a parent (my first child is now 21, my two at home are 10 & 11),now suffer from complexPTSD and other trauma issues ....and that's just a fraction of things. I used to drive myself to distraction with how unjust and unfair it was that i was just having to repeatedly suck up things that were unacceptable. That no one would be ok with.....because they're not OK.

SO what's with the acceptance thing? I have been told repeatedly that acceptance (much like forgiveness) is not saying that what happened is OK......so why does it seem like that's pretty much EXACTLY what is being asked of oneself if one is to accept unacceptable circumstance or incidents.

but it's not. I know that now....and this is what makes the kind of OUTRAGEOUS acceptance i find myself practicing today, possible. Acceptance is not saying that what happened is OK. It IS saying that It Happened.

It Happened. That is the reality, nothing and no one can ever change that no matter how much I, or anyone else, may want to. Nothing can make it better because nothing can make it not have happened...i may have ideas of what I think might make it more bearable, might fantasise about how things might have gone, or how a need for validation might be met to help with closure, but nothing can change that it happened. that didn't stop me putting a whole load of time and energy into doing anything and everything I could possibly think of to try to make things be different....or at least not allow them to be real.

sometimes there is no closure, sometimes there is no validation, sometimes it really is a total loss. sometimes all that energy and upset has to be reabsorbed within oneself, and one just has to sit with it. to keep on sitting with it.

in those moments outrageous acceptance is born. acceptance that all that is is, and all that is not is not. no attempt, no desire even, to try to seek relief through the validation of others/the justice system/sweet revenge.

Just a deep knowing that what will come, will come; that what will go, will go: and that after it all I will still be.

...and that will do for me.

Receiving a love confession from Sirius Black is probably the dream of almost every student at Hogwarts. Remus just whishes Sirius would move on, but you should be careful what you wish for...

Don't worry, it's a short, fluffy Wolfstar get-together. Lily knows about Remus’ Furry Little Problem in this.

How do you feel about Sirius Black?

“I swear to Merlin, if Gina Simmons looks at me like that one more time, I’m gonna give her something to be mad about,” Lily grumbles, her eyes flaming with anger.

Gina Simmons, who had been glaring in their direction, quickly turns her head as Remus looks over his shoulder. She whispers something to Beth Walker and Davey Martens, who both glare at Lily and Remus as well.

Remus sighs. “Is it always like this?”

Lily’s expression softens. “It gets less,” she says. “But there’s this persistent group that just can’t get over it. This morning, I heard Rosemary Rowle call me ‘an entitled bitch who thinks she’s too good for James Potter’. Rosemary Rowle! The girl who can’t finish a sentence without mentioning her ‘daddy, who has such an important job at the Ministry’ calling me entitled!” The angry expression is back and she clenches her quill so hard Remus worries she’s gonna break the thing.

Remus frowns. “I overheard Randall Thorne ask Jules Flemming whether he reckoned I thought I could do better, and during Potions Kirsten Pembroke threw a vial of Armadillo bile over me!”

Lily winces. “I’m sorry. I should’ve warned you to stay away from Kirsten Pembroke if she has throwable substances within reach.”

“I just don’t understand what their problem is,” Remus mutters.

Lily smiles ruefully. “You’re now officially part of the club of people who have committed the atrocious crime of rejecting the school’s most popular and beloved students, Potter and Black. With you joining, our member count is now a total of two.”

“But that’s the thing! I rejected him,” Remus says. “Nothing’s changed. They can go on writing Mrs or Mr Black on their notebooks for all I care.”

“Oh Remus,” Lily sighs wistfully. “To be so naive. I’ve rejected Potter about fifteen times now, and they still won’t forgive me for him apparently choosing me over them. Of course, in my case it doesn’t help that Potter still refers to himself as the future Mr Evans,” Lily adds with a grimace.

“It just doesn’t make sense,” Remus says, shaking his head. “They should be thankful I don’t return his feelings!”

“Well, first of all, you saying no to Black doesn’t chance the fact that he’s head over heels in love with you. Not immediately, at least. So he’s still just as unavailable to them. And more importantly, in their eyes you were given the greatest gift that can be bestowed upon a man or woman: a full-blown love confession by Sirius Black.” Lily rolls her eyes while speaking. “And the fact that you didn’t even appreciate it, just makes it worse.”

“I never asked for-”

“I know, Remus, I know. I’m just explaining how they see it. You and I are the horrible people who had the audacity to break their heartthrobs Potter and Black’s hearts.”

Remus groans. “I whish Sirius would see how ridiculous it is for him to be in love with someone like me.”

“Remus,” Lily says in a dangerous tone.

Remus ignores her. “I whish he’d just move on. I whish he’d date someone else, so they’ll have no reason to pester me anymore!”

Remus is writing his essay. Frantically. Or rather, furiously. Pressing hard on his quill while scribbling in angry, fast strokes, a pile of broken quills already forming next to his parchment.

“Did that essay murder your family?” Lily asks, as she sits down in front of Remus. “I honestly thought you’d be in a good mood.”

Remus looks up at her, a sulky expression on his face. “So you’ve heard?”

“Heard?” Lily asks. “I’ve orchestrated the whole thing!”

Remus gives her a confused look, so Lily elaborates.

“After our last conversation, I went up to Black and I just told him ‘oi, the whole school knows about your unrequited love for Remus, and some twats are giving him a really hard time about it, so if you could just take someone on a date to Hogsmeade this Saturday so they’ll stop pestering Remus, that’ll be great’. And he agreed!”

Remus just blinks at her.

Lily frowns. “That’s what you wanted, right?”

“Yes!” Remus says a little too quickly. “I just... don’t get why he’d ask Alyssa MacMillan. She’s rather dull, don’t you think?”

Lily shrugs. “She’s nice enough, but more importantly, she thinks Black is fit and would love to go out with him, but she’s got no real feelings for him and isn’t looking for a relationship, so she won’t mind just drawing people’s attention away from you, or draw his attention away from you, for that matter.”

“Right,” Remus says. “Guess I just didn’t think she’s his type, is all.”

“Who knows,” Lily smiles mischievously. “It could become some kind of Fake Dating, Friends to Lovers scenario, and they might fall in love for real! Then your problem is solved for good.”

Remus looks at her like she just told him puppies have gone extinct.

“Merlin, Remus. What is it? Is this some kind of ‘I don’t want him, but I don’t want anybody else to have him either’ thing? Because that’s really shitty!”

“No,” Remus says defensively. “No, that’s not it. I just think Sirius can do better than Alyssa MacMillan, but if that’s what he likes, than good for him.”

“Oh, for Godric’s sake, you’re jealous!”

“No, I’m not! Or at least, I don’t think I am. Am I?”

Lily folds her arms over her chest and stares at Remus intently. “Remus Lupin, do you have feelings for Sirius Black?”

“I... I don’t know,” Remus looks quite miserable. “I mean, I’ve never thought about it.”

“Never thought about it?” Lily exclaims. “How do you mean, never thought about it? Do you remember that evening when Black took you out on a moonlit walk by the Great Lake, and poured his heart out to you, saying how he’s been crazy in love with you since the beginning of fifth year, and asked if you wanted to go on a date with him, to which you answered no? That would’ve been the moment to think about it!”

“It’s just...” Remus anxiously runs a hand through his hair. “With my condition, romantic relationships simply are not an option. I always saw romance as one part of being a teenager I didn’t have to concern myself with. I guess I just started to automatically ignore all thoughts and feelings related to romantic relationships. When Sirius made that confession, I was shocked, and the only thing I could think was ‘no, he can’t, he shouldn’t. I don’t do romance. I have to put an end to this immediately’. I never considered my own feelings. I mean, why would I?”

“Well, that’s a load of crap,” Lily scolds.

Remus opens his mouth to protest, but Lily cuts off whatever he was going to say.

“Not that you thought all of that, I believe you did, but that you can’t have romantic relationships with your condition is nonsense.”

“It’s never been done,” Remus argues.

“If no one ever did anything that’s never been done, we’d still be living in caves,” Lily firmly replies.

Remus fiddles with the hem of his sweater. “You really think it’s possible?”

“I don’t think it’s possible, I know it’s possible. So now we have established that, how do you feel about Sirius Black?”

“I’ve never thought-”

“Well, think about it now!”

“I don’t know,” Remus says, staring at the table. “Of course I think he’s attractive, but that doesn’t mean anything except that I have eyes. I mean, who doesn’t think he’s attractive? With that hair and those eyes... And I have even more reason, sharing a dorm with him. I see him when he comes out of the shower wearing just a towel, sweet mother of Merlin...”

Lily waits patiently for Remus to finish daydreaming.

Remus shakes himself out of his daze. “And of course I like him as a person. I wouldn’t have been friends with him all these years if I didn’t like him as a person. And what’s not to like? He’s clever, funny and brave, but he also has this really sweet side, you know? A side he doesn’t show much, and I guess it makes me feel special that he does show it around me. He always makes me feel special. It’s kind of weird, actually. He makes me feel special, but at the same time he makes me feel like I can just be myself, and that’s enough. I feel comfortable around him, and I suppose I do prefer his company above anyone else’s. Even on those moments when I normally don’t want to see anyone, he’s the only one I prefer being with over being alone. And when he’s not around I often find myself thinking about him. Now that I think about, I think about him almost all the time...”

Remus trails of and looks at Lily with wide eyes. Lily just nods.

“Oh Merlin,” Remus groans, hiding his face in his hands.

“Remus, Remus, Remus,” Lily sighs. “You’re so lucky to have me as a friend. Here’s what you’re going to do...”

“Padfoot?”

Sirius whirls around, and grins at Remus. Remus can tell he’s trying to act like everything’s normal between them, but he can also tell that his grin is somewhat forced and there’s a hint of pain in his eyes.

“Wotcher, Moony.”

“I wanted to talk to you,” Remus says.

The grin fades from Sirius’ face, and he runs a hand through his hair. “Ah, yeah, Evans told me about those people that’ve been bothering you. I’m really sorry, Moony. If I had known...”

“It’s not your fault,” Remus says.

“I know you feel uncomfortable about my feelings for you.” There’s a sadness in Sirius’ voice. “I won’t mention it again. I never meant to make you uncomfortable. If I could change it, I would, but being in love with you has become such a big part of me, and it’s not something I can just stop. Turns out, you’re a very hard person to not be in love with.”

“I don’t want you to not be in love with me!” Remus says.

Sirius frowns. “You like having me hopelessly pine after you that much?” He looks slightly hurt.

“No,” Remus says quickly. “No, I just think I might have been... too hasty in rejecting you?”

“Moony,” Sirius sighs. “You have every right to reject me. You don’t have to try and force yourself into feeling something you don’t, just because you pity me, or some stupid twats think they can judge you.”

“I rejected you because I didn’t think you should be with...” Remus gestures vaguely at himself. “Well, with someone like me. It only occurred to me recently, very recently, that I never even considered whether I have feelings for you.”

“And do you...”

“I do.”

“Oh.”

“Oh indeed.”

Sirius lets out a nervous chuckle. “So do you want to-”

“No!”

Sirius blinks in confusion. Remus quickly tries to clarify.

“I mean, no, you already asked me last time, this time I want to ask you.”

Sirius mutters something under his breath about a bloody emotional roller-coaster. Remus continues.

“I already talked to Alyssa MacMillan, and she told me to ‘go get my man’, so since you’re now free this Saturday, would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me, as in a date?”

Sirius’ face lights up in a smile so beautiful it makes Remus a little dizzy. “I’d absolutely love to!”

HSMTMTS 2x8: the one I’ve been waiting for

Last week watching the new HSMTMTS was the last thing I did before going to bed (and let me tell you, I almost couldn’t sleep that night), but now I’m starting my day with it. I’m having trouble breathing just thinking about everything that could possibly lie ahead. I don’t think I’m ready, but I also can’t wait a second longer. So let’s dive right in!

Ahhh we got Big Red doing the recap! We’re off to a strong start, I see.

Ok, so I don’t know which is funnier (objectively): Reddy calling Antoine ‘Napoleon’ or the ‘zat man looks ridiculous’ line delivery -- I mean, I do not condone Antoine’s behaviour when he said that line, but ABF makes impertinence sound funny. Still, ‘Napoleon over here’ is my new favourite thing to call Antoine.

I am absolutely loving Miss Jenn in this scene (’when they go low, we sing high’, anyone), but why’s she threatening my Sebby? She has no right.

Ahhhhhhhh we’re getting the Gaston scene! I mean, of course I knew that, but I still don’t think I’m ready for the sheer awesomeness...

Ok, things are awkward between Ashlyn and her Biggie (see, I noticed she calls him that and that’s why I chose to call him Reddy instead)... hope they’ll be fine though. I know what they have is stronger than some so-called French bloke trying to come between them.

I... forgive me, I need to take 5... the Gaston number is a thousand times better with the choreography! Big Red performing his heart out, EJ making Gaston look effortless just like he did in the audition, juggling those eggs, and then the dancers... glorious, indeed.

‘Keep our heads down and our chins up’ ... and Seb trying to physically do it... adorable! But why is Miss Jenn being so harsh to him today? I don’t like that.

Ok, so I’m happy for Nini (or is it NIna?) and I’m happy for Olivia, but I just don’t seem to be able to get invested in her, either in the show or in real life. I don’t know why, but that’s just how I feel. To each their own, I always say.

EJ making the Career Day announcement in the middle of Ricky and Nini’s conversation is just... a choice. An interesting choice on the part of whoever wrote it.

Yikes, Ricky! What is it with guys and violating Nini’s phone’s privacy?

Ok, so I was an advocate for ‘EJ and Gina emphatically as friends’, but I think I’m sold on them romantically. It’s kind of hard for me here -- as an aro, I’m uncomfortable with the ‘everything evolves into romance and revolves around romance’ approach, but as an unapologetic shipper, I think this episode is going to shatter my heart and then heal it and then shatter it again.

‘How many of you are familiar with the phrase “Seize the day”?’ Um, yeah, I love Newsies! You know, for someone who has never seen it and has only heard a couple of songs from it... where was I?

Ooh, we’re getting Jennzara content! After all that ‘Zacky Roy’ action, I’m ready for this.

And here, Carlos struggling to make the part of Chip sound good just goes to prove that this part is too small for Sebby! You don’t just go from Sharpay to Chip like that. I mean, I kind of see it... Seb’s got a Chip-worthy smile; but at the end of the day, Chip hasn’t got a Seb-worthy song, nay, showstopping number.

I won’t lie, seeing Big Red give Ricky the treatment he’s been getting from him was low-key (high-key) satisfying. But I can’t even tell you why I’m suddenly starting to empathise with Ricky here. Still, Reddy is right - Ricky’s been here before. Or if I might quote Carlos here, ‘Is this Mamma Mia 2, cos here we go again!’

You know, Ashlyn is right. Ignore the test. Career tests are bull. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve got the most ridiculous results on these things... though I guess ‘mediator’ isn’t so far removed from ‘translator’, which is my dream job that I’m working towards. I guess career tests are like horoscopes and prophecies -- they’re not meant to be taken literally, but require reading between the lines.

‘I live to serve’ Oh Reddy, don’t be like that! I mean, I know working in the service industry is one thing and being a doormat is another, but right now it just kind of seems like he’s equating them in his mind and putting himself down because of it, and he’s being outwardly cheerful for the benefit of others. Maybe it’s not just Ricky who needs therapy, and Reddy definitely needs a LeFou of his own, to cheer him up and lift his spirits, and remind him how brilliant he is.

You know, I think both Kourtney and Howie make some valid points here... but I’m afraid I’m with Kourtney on this one. It’s difficult to trust someone if you find out there’s a whole side of them you didn’t know.

Gosh, I’m so done with Rini. Even Carlos has an inside voice compared to what these two are demonstrating right now. How ‘main character syndrome’ of them is it to make a scene in the middle of the Slices?

Ohhhhh, Paris... gosh, why does everyone keep saying the wrong things with the best intentions in this episode? It’s frustrating.

Awwww, I can’t with these two! ‘The only other thing that makes me happy is you.’ But then he’s like ‘maybe it’s not enough’, and I just got a flashback of how he once told her ‘you are enough’... so I say, so are you, Reddy! You are enough, and Ash is just trying to do the best for you, but she’s kind of missing the point... but you are enough. And she knows it.

Awwww! S1 Mr Mazzara would never have. But I love this new version of him.

Ohh, the Duke talk! Ok, I don’t know how to feel about these two. I just want them to be close, always.

Is it just me, or does Sofia’s acting in this scene give off Cyrus’ coming out scene vibes?

And here we go again with the flashbacks. Nini and Ricky in the treehouse remind me how I felt during the ‘I love you’ scene last season... except this one is not the start of something new (as on-the-nose as that sounds), it’s the end of something old. It’s heartbreaking, but I think it’s necessary. And I think they both know it. If it’s meant to be, they’ll find their way back to each other -- when they’re both more mature. They need to grow separately for the time being.

Oh my, oh my! It’s the ‘If I Can’t Love Her’ scene, and it hits even harder than it might have, because this is actually the first time I’m ever hearing this song. Fan of BATB as I am, I am just not familiar with the stage version of it and so there are some songs I just have never heard. But they hit hard. 

Aww, Ashlyn with the Slices shirt! And EJ declining Duke after that was the only future he could see for himself... And Big Red being the absolute best, most supportive friend always and forever, whatever is going on in his own life... if I had a friend like him, I’d never let them go. And I’d never let them forget how amazing they are.

Ok, but I’m crying... I have been since the song started, and I think I will be for a long time after it’s ended... this episode really did break my heart. But it healed it, too. How weird is that? This was a ride. Enough to last me the week, I hope.

I never had Lemon meringue pie before

Ben Florian x Male Reader

Summary- Reader is dating Ben, his parents want to meet your father Beetlejuice but you are not sure about that.

You have been dating Ben for a while that he wants to meet your dad. You met his parents before but they want to meet your father too, you make up lies why he can't come to dinner. You just finished class and Ben is waiting for you by your locker and he kissed you. You and Ben are in love, everyone knows that you are his boyfriend and his parents support the relationship.

”My parents are having a party this weekend. Well, it's for charity and they want your dad to come” Ben said.

”Oh,” You said.

You and Ben hold hands and take a stroll around.

”Y/N, are you ashamed of us, that you haven't told your father about us?” Ben asked.

”Ben, I'm not ashamed of you. My dad well... He isn't liked by many people” You said.

”I bet your dad will like me, we will get along just fine,” Ben said.

”I can't... Just can't. I don't want you or anyone to look at me differently” You said.

Ben grabbed both of your hands.

”I won't look at you differently, I promise. I care about you and I really like you for who you are. You make me happy” Ben said.

”You always know what to say,” You said.

”How about we go to the lake?” Ben asked.

”Sounds good,” You said.

You and Ben go to the lake to spend time alone. You and Ben go to the cliff and jump off, you can't stop smiling. You can be yourself around him and you don't have to feel ashamed about yourself.

---

You have been thinking about calling your dad. You are not sure what to do, your mind is all over the place. Your father doesn't have a problem with your sexuality and when you came out to him, he hugged you. The problem is your father doesn't act like an adult and he likes to create chaos and tell bad jokes. And he likes to gamble a lot, constantly invades people's personal space and more.

Later, Ben went to see his friends.

”Do any of you have ever met Y/N’s dad?” Ben asked.

”Why?” Mal asked.

”He doesn't want me to meet his dad and never gave me a real answer. I want to invite him to the party that my parents are throwing” Ben said.

”You think it's a good idea? You should tell him first” Jay said.

”He is always changing the subject. I want to surprise him with his dad being there” Ben said.

”Dr. Facilier has met Y/N’s dad. Ask him how to get in contact with him. But are you sure about this?” Mal said.

”Everything will be fine. Where I can find Dr. Facilier?” Ben said.

”We will take you to him,” Mal said.

Dr. Facilier has met your father many times. Sometimes they like to con people when it comes to gambling. Ben owes him a favor for giving him the information where he can find your father.

”Just say his name three times to meet him. But be careful he won't go away easily” Dr. Facilier said.

”I don't know his name,” Ben said.

Dr. Facilier writes down the name on a piece of paper.

”Remember, you owe me a favor,” Dr. Facilier said.

”I will keep my word, that I owe you a favor,” Ben said.

”Good,” Dr. Facilier said.

Ben didn't tell you what he did.

✧ ✯ ✧ ✫

Everyone arrived at the charity event and you are wearing your best suit. You greeted Ben’s parents and they are happy to see you.

”You look handsome,” Ben said.

He kissed your cheek and you blushed.

”You look handsome too,” You said.

”Wait right here and I will bring you a drink,” Ben said.

”Okay. I will talk to our friends while you come back” You said.

”Okay” Ben smiled.

You sit with the others and everyone is happy to see each other. Ben went somewhere private for a moment.

”Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice” Ben said.

Beetlejuice appeared and he jumped.

”Woah, where am I?” Beetlejuice said.

He looks around, they are in the hallway.

”Mr. Beetlejuice, my name is Ben and I am Y/N’s boyfriend. And this my parent's castle” Ben said with a smile.

”You are his boyfriend? And this your castle?” Beetlejuice asked.

”Yes. Today my parents are having a charity event and I personally invite you to the party” Ben said.

”Give me a hug son in law!” Beetlejuice said.

He hugged Ben tight and he has body odor. Then Beetlejuice brushed his hair to the side and pulled out a clip-on tie and puts it on.

---

”Y/N!” Beetlejuice said so loud that everyone looks at him and you.

Your eyes opened wider.

”D-dad!?” You yelled.

”Your boyfriend called me. Wow, they are rich, jackpot! Give your old men a hug” Beetlejuice said.

He hugged you and you feel embarrassed.

”Hello, my name is Beast, and this my wife Belle and that's our son, Ben,” Beast said.

Beetlejuice hugged them.

”Dad, please behave,” You said.

”He is your father?” Belle asked.

You nod.

”Y/N, I will come more often to see you. He is a nice boy, can't believe he lives in a castle! Where is the food!?” Beetlejuice said.

”There is a buffet,” Ben said.

”Good to know,” Beetlejuice said.

Beetlejuice put so much food on his plate. He sits next to Beast and Belle with their friends. Beetlejuice starts to eat with his mouth open, he starts to burp, food gets on his clothes, and when he starts to laugh food spits out of his mouth.

”Ben, why did you call him?” You angrily said.

”I wanted him to see you and I can meet him,” Ben said.

”He is starting to make people uncomfortable. Look at him, he is eating like a pig!” You yelled.

”Y/N, I was trying to do something nice,” Ben said.

You sighed. Now your father starts to make people feel uncomfortable. Now he is telling them bad jokes and he is the only one laughing.

”Y/N, I like them! Ben, you are my favorite son-in-law!” Beetlejuice yelled.

”Dad, let's go now,” You said.

”I’m just having fun! The food is really good! Much better than eating bugs *burps really loud* wow that was a long one” Beetlejuice laughed.

You left the party and you are alone by the balcony. Ben figured it out that you are not happy that your father came to the party.

✧ ✯ ✧ ✫

You haven't seen Ben in a couple of days. You are still unhappy about what happened at the charity event. You haven't spoken to your father either, you just want to be alone and think.

”Hey Y/N,” Ben said.

”Hey,” You said.

You are at the lake just sitting on the grass. Ben sits next to you

”I’m sorry for not telling you that I called your dad,” Ben said.

”I’m sorry too, that I been avoiding you. He knows that I'm dating you, but I never told him your name or who are your parents are. My dad doesn't act like an adult, he is like a teenager” You said.

”After you left, he put food in his pockets. Later, he burped again and told bad jokes again and he farted and blamed it on the guards and our friends” Ben said.

You kinda laughed. Ben pulls you closer to him then you two lie down and he is holding your hand.

”He can't find us here,” You said.

”How come?” Ben asked.

”He hates nature. Do you still want to be with me?” You said.

”Why would you ask that?” Ben asked.

”You know my dad is rude and a pig, I thought you wouldn't want to be with me,” You said.

”Y/N, I still want to be with you. I know you are not like your dad because you are different. My feelings for you will never go away” Ben said.

Ben moved closer and kissed you.

----

After spending time with Ben, you made up your mind to talk with your dad.

”Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!!” You said.

”Y/N!” Beetlejuice said and hugged you.

”Dad, we need to talk,” You said.

”Let me say something first,” Beetlejuice said.

”Sure,” You said.

”I know, I'm not the best dad in the word, sometimes I like a child who doesn't have manners. I care about your happiness and I want to make it right” Beetlejuice said.

You are in shock, he rarely apologizes for anything.

”You did embarrass me in front of everyone especially in front of Ben,” You said.

”I’m sorry, Y/N,” Beetlejuice said.

”I forgive you,” You said.

Later, you and Ben go out on a date.

”Dad, what are you doing?” You asked

He brushed his hair and puts on a clip-on tie.

”I have a date” He said

”With who? It's good you are going on a date” You said.

”I’m your chaperone. Ben is a nice kid, but I have to make sure he treats my son right” Beetlejuice said.

”Please don't come-”

”Y/N, I made up my mind. We can't be late” Beetlejuice said and he smiled.

but your father tagged along. Ben would try to sit next to you but Beetlejuice would sit in the middle, Ben tried to hold your hand but Beetlejuice is now holding your hand and Ben’s hand and he is still telling bad jokes. Your dad is having a good time but you are not.

HI i LOVE ur "____ realizing they fell in love" series thing AND idk if you've done stardust crusaders but if you haven't i'd love to request that pretty pls luv u Aaa c:

I haven’t done the Crusaders yet!! today is your lucky day. 🥰 ty for supporting this series and I hope you enjoy this one!

BUCCI GANG | LA SQUADRA

tw: general violence, stabbing

❥ ┋ ❝ stardust crusaders realizing that they’re in love!

joseph joestar.

Joseph falls in love with you after you put yourself in danger.

the first thing you need to know about Joseph Joestar is that there’s always something up his sleeve. the second, that he prizes his family above all else. only one of those applied when you sacrificed yourself for his sake.

it happens during a stand battle. Hermit Purple is more of a defensive stand, with its ability to disarm and capture enemies. your stand works best offensively. as such, you make quite the pair when you encounter two of DIO’s subordinates in India.

but while Joseph was distracted, using Hermit Purple to wrap one of the goons in its violet vines, the other came barreling behind Joseph. he sees a glint in the henchwoman’s eyes, a look that tells him that she’s ready to kill. he knows you see it too. and that’s why he’s crying at you to get away.

it only took a moment. yet in that moment did you save Joseph, push the henchwoman back, and find a kukri in your side. it’s the one time that Joseph didn’t have anything up his sleeve, and one of many that he could feel his heart drop.

you didn’t have to defend him. he had already lived his life, and at that point, he had accepted he could die at any moment. he knew exactly what he was getting into when it came to DIO. and he was starting to wish that he hadn’t gotten you involved, too.

he knocks both of the goons out, leaving them in the alley. you’re not quite sure what happens next. all you can feel is Joseph holding you in his arms, frantically looking for help in the streets of Kolkata. he’s screaming. crying maybe? you lose consciousness soon after.

Joseph would visit you in your hospital room once you came to. he makes quite the scene, pushing doctors aside and slamming your door open. at first glance you think that he's mad, with his gritted teeth and clasped fists. he stops for a moment, studying your face. and it’s here that you realize he isn’t mad — no, his face quickly melts to concern, his lip quivering as he wraps you into a tight hug. ↳ “come here.” his voice is shaky. he sounds breathless, as if he ran here as soon as he got word that you woke up. “what the hell were you thinking? don’t go throwing yourself at anyone for my sake! you talk to me in battle, okay?”  alright, maybe he’s a little mad. he’s trying to say his words as gently as he can, though. “we need you, [Name].” and it’s true: the team does need you. but he of all people needs you most. he’s already losing one child. he can’t bear the thought of losing another.

muhammad avdol.

Avdol falls in love with you when he sees how patient you are.

he's a mentor above all else. Avdol’s career depends on guiding others to their destinies, leading them to something that he cannot posses. he’s never particularly minded. like all things, he just thinks that is his own destiny. he knows that fate can’t be changed.

it’s part of the reason why Avdol’s given up on Iggy. the dog is hopeless, fighting for his own wants and needs. he doesn’t care about the team or DIO or why he’s in Egypt. hence, aside from giving him coffee gum when Avdol needs him, the fortune teller leaves him alone.

then he sees you interacting with Iggy. “it’s hopeless,” Avdol tells you. but you look up at him and shake your head, asking him to just give you some time. Iggy will come around, you promise.

Avdol chuckles. “if you say so.”

despite his doubts, he keeps a close eye on you. you keep at it. you’re trying to get the dog’s trust, offering pets and belly rubs during moments of peace. Iggy seems disinterested.

in time, Avdol watches as you realize that Iggy hates being treated like a dog. you share your food with him and talk with him, even if he can’t understand what you have to say. one day, while driving through Egypt, Avdol peers into the rear view mirror and sees you asleep with Iggy on your lap.

the Boston terrier follows you everywhere now. he trots beside you and barks at whoever gets too close to you (much to Polnareff’s chagrin). Avdol can’t help but find this amusing.

well he’d be damned. you really did it. Avdol always thought of him as a good judge of character, and you proved him wrong. not that he minds; Iggy’s cooperation will make this mission much less difficult. it’s just that your unyielding patience and dedication is... well. it’s quite nice with all the other interesting characters on this trip.

Avdol approaches you while you’re reading in the hotel lobby. as always, Iggy is at your feet. he’s fast asleep, thankfully. the fortune teller tries to be quiet so as not to wake him. ↳ “I apologize.” he takes the armchair across from yours, resting his cheek on his fist, an amused smile on his lips. “you’re a lot more patient than I gave you credit for.” maybe Avdol had unknowingly guided you to Iggy. maybe it was fate that Iggy would be brought here, only to be loved by you. “I admire that of you. though I suppose there’s a lot I admire about you, hm?” fate can’t be changed. he knew that. but maybe it was fate that like Iggy, Avdol was brought here to be with you.

jotaro kujo.

Jotaro falls in love with you after you call him out.

he hates showing his true colors. that kind of vulnerability is something that he’s never gotten accustomed to, nor does he think that he ever will. it’s part of the reason why he dislikes displaying more emotion than what’s necessary. a slight twinge of his lip or brow can show enough of what he’s thinking. any more than that is a waste of energy. they get the gist, he tells himself.

you proved him wrong when you lost a game of checkers. it’s a humid day in Cairo and during a rare moment of peace, you and Jotaro opt to play a friendly game of checkers with some locals. though the word “friendly” is subjective. if either of you won, 2500 Egyptian pounds would be yours.

it’s your turn. the game is a close call. although it can be over within the next two turns, you can’t tell what your opponent’s next move would be. thankfully, Jotaro is standing behind him, giving you cues for your next move.

...yet because you misunderstand his cue, you watch as you promptly lose any pieces that you had left. your opponent takes your pieces and the 2500 Egyptian pounds with it.

“what the hell was that?” Jotaro is angry. you are too. after losing the game, you collected your things and began to head back to the hotel, with Jotaro at your heels. “I was nodding my head! that was your cue to move left.” 

you stop in your tracks. “that wasn’t you nodding! you just moved your head down! how was I supposed to know?”

he clicks his tongue in response. a beat, and then finally, “you’re really damn annoying, you know that?” 

“yeah, and you’re an asshole.”

Jotaro’s been called many things. sweetie, honey, the hottest guy at school, but asshole? that’s a first. while he won’t admit it, the name stings. it sounds foreign coming from you. he didn’t think he had upset you that much.

he lets the day pass, partly for you, mostly for him. he needs to gather his thoughts. it’s the first time anyone had called him out for his behavior. moreover, Jotaro hates the fact that you may know him better than he does himself. what else do you know about him? did you know that you could upset him this much? ...when did you start to occupy this much space in his head?

so at sundown the next day, you get a knock on your hotel room from Jotaro Kujo himself. you try to close it, but he sticks his foot between the door and the frame before you can. ↳ “look, I’m sorry, alright?” he’s refusing to look at you. “I just... really wanted to win. I pushed that on you. and...” he sighs. "I’m sorry.” he’s apologizing through gritted teeth, yet apologizing nonetheless. it’s the right thing to do and he doesn’t want to lose a friend to his pride. especially one who calls him out on his bullshit. despite everything, you just smile and unfold your arms, telling him that you forgive him. and for a brief moment, he feels a weight lift off his shoulders. although Jotaro Kujo hates being vulnerable, he would hate losing you more.

noriaki kakyoin.

Kakyoin falls in love with you while eating breakfast together.

he’s never had any real friends. any attempts to share facts about himself, whether about his stand or his interests, would be met with scorn. it wasn’t until he had breakfast with you — one tiny moment in a trip filled with wacky happenings — that led him to believe that maybe the world wasn’t so lonely.

it’s 7 AM. normally at this time Mr. Joestar and Avdol are off running errands or planning something privately. Kakyoin turns beside him to find Jotaro and Polnareff fast asleep. he wonders where you’d be at this hour, yet when he enters the dining room, he quickly finds the answer to his question.

"good morning,” he says, taking the seat from across you. his voice is gentle though far more awake than you’d expect for seven in the morning. you greet him as enthusiastically as you can muster, flashing a toothy grin. but upon realizing that you were still chewing your food, you quickly turn away and wave your hand, apologizing for the scene. Kakyoin laughs in return.

the conversation itself is rather tame. you ask about his life, what Japan is like, if he misses his parents. Kakyoin answers all of this truthfully, because... well. no one else has ever taken the time to ask. it feels odd to be interviewed. though not uncomfortable.

and you take genuine interest in what he has to say, too. you ask follow up questions and give real, emotional responses. while you sympathize with him, you don’t pretend to know what he’s gone through.

you didn’t have to engage with him. sure, you’re the only ones awake right now, but he didn’t expect you to be so real with him. Polnareff never takes anything Kakyoin says seriously. Jotaro doesn’t even pretend to care. Mr. Joestar and Avdol have their own things to worry about. it feels... nice to be considered.

needless to say, Kakyoin feels his heart sink when the others wake up. is that too selfish? should he be disappointed in himself for wanting to spend more time with you?

yet even with them there, with Polnareff hogging the conversation and Jotaro being his usual cool self, you try to keep Kakyoin involved. you refuse to let him fade in the background.

he stops you as everyone starts to clean up and go on with their days. ↳ “we should do this more often.” he’s trying to keep it casual. “ah, if you’re up this early again, I mean. I really enjoyed our conversation. it’s a lot more productive when Polnareff’s not awake.” now it’s your turn to laugh in response. you agree, saying that you enjoyed your time with him, too. at this, Kakyoin could feel his cheeks start to burn. right here, right at this moment with you, did Noriaki Kakyoin feel that he wasn’t so alone. 

jean pierre polnareff.

Polnareff falls in love with you when he hears you humming to yourself.

although he would never admit it, he’s lost. what he’s looking for he’s not quite sure. vengeance? honor? it’s something he’s constantly asking himself. behind those dumb jokes and loud laughs is someone who just wants to find himself.

to be honest, he’s always fancied you. it was pretty obvious from the start. the way he looked at you, how his hands were always at your hip, guiding you away from the others. he just thought it was another crush until he heard you humming to yourself.

it’s such a simple happenstance. he didn’t mean to walk in on you. yet there you are, standing on the roof of their hotel, hanging everyone’s laundry to dry. you look so at peace here, with your eyelids low and your fingers at work with one of Polnareff’s shirts. you’re handling it so gently despite it not being your own laundry.

it’s in that moment that he realizes what he wants to do. Sherry’s murderer is dead. she can finally be at peace. Avdol has been found, affirming that he didn’t die for Polnareff’s sake. and here you are, humming a song that he doesn’t know but appearing so content.

while he may not know who he is, he does know that he wants to make you that happy everyday.

Polnareff takes this as his cue to approach you. you bend down to reach into your laundry basket, and when you come back up, the Frenchman is there. he’s not pulling any dumb moves, though. he’s much quieter here.

he follows your lead, reaching into the basket for one of his pants, then comes back up to hang them. you return his actions with a smile, a wordless indication of thanks, and continue to work. that song you were humming returns once more, and Polnareff swears that he can feel his heartbeat pounding in his fingertips.

you and Polnareff continue to work like this until the laundry basket is empty. it’s the first time he doesn’t say anything for 10 minutes, at least that you’ve noticed. what you don’t notice that he’s trying to avoid staring, sneaking quick glances as you focus on the task at hand.

when all is said and done, you stretch your arms far above your head, cuing a satisfying pop from your back. you thank Polnareff for helping you and begin heading back to your room. however, he’s quick to stop you. ↳ “hey, wait!” yikes. did that sound too much? “err- let me know if you need any help. I’m always here for you, [Name].” he sounds defeated in that last sentence. he can tell. he wonders if you can, too. but when you grin and tuck your hair behind your ear, telling him that you’d keep him in your thoughts, Polnareff can’t help but feel his heart swell. did he make you happy here?

I don’t want to be greedy after the wonderful Todou headcanons, but while you wait for other requests I’m happy to ask for some Megumi headcanons about how his life changed when Yuuji joined as a student (looks like Megumi was a solo first year before then). Happy to see this as romantic or platonic.

(AN: NONSENSE, BE AS GREEDY AS YOU WANT, because I am LOVING these prompts so much)

Want to make a request? HIT ME UP -> [YO]

How Megumi’s Life Changed When Yuuji Came Along

🌙Megumi is, of course, conflicted when it turns out Yuuji will be joining him. He saved Yuuji’s life, and at the time, he still doesn’t have a real reason why he did it.

🌙 That being said, his interaction with Yuuji up to that point had just been. Why won’t this idiot listen to me, why does he keep doing stupid things that’ll get him killed.

🌙 At first he’s extremely annoyed that Gojo put Yuuji’s room right next to his, because OF COURSE he would do that after Megumi has been alone for so long at this point.

🌙 Yuuji is just full of so much ... energy. He’s always smiling and loud, he loves to talk about his favorite things, and he asks a lot of questions. Megumi knows that Yuuji doesn’t mean any harm with all of, well, all the extremes that he is, but it makes him bristle and feel uncomfortable at first.

🌙 Though, he finds the follow periods of silence less pleasant than they used to be. He’d rather be listening to Yuuji talk about some dumb movie, or his favorite foods, or anything really. He pretends to not be interested, and for the most part he isn’t, but he finds himself internally noting things Yuuji says he likes.

(So much more UNDER THE CUT, because I am a rambly bastard.)

🌙 When Nobara joins them, it eases the tension off of him a little bit. Now the attention isn’t so 1-on-1 and he can think a little more clearly.

🌙 Mr.-No-Friends certainly enjoys having friends. Even if he does stay mostly quiet.

🌙 Yuuji ’s death absolutely crushed him. Yes, he was told to expect people to die in this job, yes he knew it was likely Yuuji’s fate because of Sukuna anyway, but it cut Megumi much deeper than he ever thought was possible. He couldn’t stop remembering that moment, couldn’t stop seeing it in his minds eye. Sleepless nights, staring at the ceiling, wondering why. The pain didn’t ease, even as the exchange event came and he had something else to focus on. It haunted him.

🌙 That being said, when Yuuji reappeared in such a stupid way, Megumi strongly considered never forgiving him for a few seconds and putting his ass back into the ground.

🌙 The relief he felt as things went back to as normal as they ever were can’t be measured, though. Megumi found he missed Yuuji’s laugh. He missed the ridiculous stories. He missed the way Yuuji misinterpreted things in a dumb way. He missed that bright smile. So much tension that had built up in his shoulders melted away.

🌙 Megumi finally got a good night’s rest at some point. He was the first to say good morning the next morning and Yuuji tripped over his own two feet in shock lmao.

🌙 He catches himself watching Yuuji more often than not. But it’s just because Yuuji’s gotten so much stronger, right? He’s studying him. Megumi can improve watching Yuuji and training with him.

🌙 Right, that’s exactly why Megumi quietly suggests a place for them to get lunch and doesn’t complain when Yuuji walks right next to him and repeatedly bumps into him while he’s trying to follow the directions on his phone.

🌙 Yuuji is still new to the world of curses, and Megumi figures he should be the one to teach or explain to Yuuji a few things. Gojo will just be stupid about it and Nobara can be so intense.

🌙 Yuuji opens up about a lot. He’s not afraid to share his feelings or his past, like Megumi is. When they take the occasional late-I-can’t-sleep walk together, it’s mostly Yuuji talking and Megumi listening. He doesn’t mind, though.

🌙 Now, Megumi doesn’t prefer going anywhere alone, really. When he needs some time to himself, he can have it. But he finds he needs that less and less. He’d rather be around that stupid, smiling idiot friend of his. So much of the time. Which is good, since Yuuji seems to  be of the same mind.

🌙 At first, when Yuuji would get on Megumi’s bed, he would get annoyed and swat him off of it. Now it’s a common occurrence and he’s not sure when he became okay with it. Yuuji lounging around in his room or on his bed, just chatting away, seems so normal now.

🌙 Megumi has a crush. He admits it to himself one day, sighing as he stares for too long into the mirror. That has to be why he’s always got Yuuji on his mind, why he feels so protective over him suddenly, why he hates it when it gets too quiet or Yuuji is pulled away for a few days for a mission or training. It hurts when he sees Yuuji sad or upset, but Megumi is too awkward to know what to do in those situations. He’s never been good at emotionally connecting with anyone.

🌙 For now, he holds his secret crush tightly to his chest. Maybe he’ll figure it out, someday. Or, maybe it would be healthier to let it go ...

🌙 He doesn’t know.

🌙 Everyone else sure notices how much more animated and happier he is these days, though.

My Warrior

Daniel x Taylor (The Dark Pictures Anthology: Little Hope)

Warnings: !Spoilers!, Swearing

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

Summary: They have all made it out of there. They’re safe from the real horrors, but the scenes that have been imbedded into their minds keep haunting them. They are left with scars to their subconscious as well as scars on their skin. Marks to remind them of what they went through. What they survived. Taylor can’t stand them - the burn marks on her skin and the scars that night left on her. She’s struggling way more than she’d like to admit. But there’s someone who sees through her toughness.

Requested by @chairtiger Hello there my chaotic co-cult leader! Sorry to be posting your request so late 👉👈 hope you understand and forgive me for the long wait. I had a blast writing the fic and I hope you enjoy reading it. Anyway...SHIP DAYLOR FOR CLEAR SKIN EVERYONE...Love, Vy ❤

“Fucking hell, this is torture.“ Taylor groans as she runs a make-up wipe over her foundation-covered, bruised skin. Underneath all those layers of foundations are the marks she’s been so desperate to hide - the reminders of that night. That monstrosity that wanted her dead and wasn’t gonna stop at anything to make that happen.

But it didn’t happen She tells herself, I’m here, aren’t I?

She’s happy to have gotten out of there with her life as well as all her friends, but the feeling of the constant presence of that night’s memories weighing on her mind, and thanks to the marks on her skin as well, she has a hard time accepting that she was indeed lucky. Some fucking luck. If she were lucky she wouldn’t have even ended up in that predicament. But she did and it has taken a bite out of her sanity and will haunt her for good, physically and mentally. No doubt about it.

The first place they all went to after their return was a hospital. Scrapes and bruises and some open wounds along with Andrew’s concussion were the main of the physical injuries. No broken bones or anything permanent, thank God. 

Well, almost nothing permanent. 

Taylor had seen the looks the nurses and the doctor gave her when they saw the state of her skin - much like the others she had bruises and scratches here and there, the most serious of which still had dried blood on them. However, unlike the rest of the group, she’d be left with the burn marks for as long as the memories - forever. Of course, that’s not what the doctor told her, not directly, at least. He said to give them time and some treatment that wasn’t completely sure to work. She knew what that meant - “Be ready to spend the rest of your life like this or in covering it up.”

It’s been one month since that horrible night. One month of treatment for her skin. Lotions, creams, cleansers, foundation. Nothing has worked. She spends an hour going through the process of covering the marks up and an hour taking all that foundation off. No one has commented on them which may be either because she covers them well enough or they simply don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. She doesn’t care what others think of them, people’s opinions never bother her on any ground. The war she has with these burn marks is personal and has all to do with an event she wants to let go of and move on from. As if her nightmares aren’t enough, she also has to deal with flashbacks every time she looks in the mirror.

She hasn’t expressed her frustration to anyone. She has managed to hide it as well as the bruises themselves. It’s Taylor after all, she’s good at putting on an act so no one can read her. But, because it is indeed her, she’s not used to keeping her anger in. She feels like a ticking timed bomb. A bubble with tender, delicate walls that could burst at any moment. And God help the person who she bursts in front of. She’s never held her composure this long, she doesn’t know what will even happen if she lets go.

Now, looking in the mirror, about to take off her foundation and apply the new lotion the doctor prescribed her, she feels as fragile as ever. She’s feeling the lack of sleep more than ever as well as the pain of her tensed muscles that never seem to relax anymore. She doesn’t feel mentally prepared to go through the process of taking off the cover-up. She never feels ready, it always takes a toll on her on mentally, emotionally and even physically. She always feels so tired afterwards, so drained. Maybe because she always expects to see a difference when the foundation comes off. There never is, nothing but disappointment.

Today has been extra hard for her. Her mind has never been hazier from the lack of sleep. Her thoughts are all over the place, none of them clear. Her body’s almost shutting down. She feels like a ghost of herself. Like the real her is in a different location. Probably still stuck in Little Hope.

The foundation’s off, the same sight meets her, mocking her from the mirror. And that’s the snapping point she’s been dreading for a month now. She reaches for the new lotion she picked up on her way home.

“Useless piece of shit!“ she chucks it to the other end of the bathroom. The bottle is unharmed, it just hits the tiled floor with a loud thud. She however is in pieces, also dropping on the ground, her back against the wall, her knees tucked close to her chest, hiding her face between them, sobbing her heart out. It’s certainly a freeing feeling, but it only exhausts her more.

“Hey T...Taylor, what’s wrong?“ She hears the familiar voice and goes silent but does not dare lift her head, especially not now that her cover-up is off her, the burn marks on display. She remains sitting on the ground, face hidden from his sight.

Daniel feels her heart sink at the sight of the most important person in his life being at a low point like this one. He feels guilty for not taking action sooner. He saw the signs, the red flags in the form of fake empty smile, lack of sarcasm, colorless cheeks, eyebags, red eyes. Lack of Taylor, she was nowhere to be seen. She was far from the person he’s used to knowing and seeing every day. Knowing her, he expected prying to be a bad move but now he wishes he’d done it sooner. On time. Before she could crash like this.

“Do you know how to knock?” Her weak attempt at putting her tough act back on slips through the cracks in her voice.

Daniel is by her side asap, kneeling on the ground in front of her. “T, come on, don’t do this. Look at me. Tell me what’s wrong.”

She knows better than to hide from Daniel. He know her too well. She trusts him too much. So, despite her previous determination not to let him in on the fact that she’s now a product of that night, she raises her head, resting her chin on her knee, still avoiding his gaze though. He doesn’t bat an eye though. 

Can he really not see what’s bothering me? It’s very fucking obvious

“I- I just feel like I can’t do this, you know. I can’t be fine like the rest of you. You’ve all moved on. And here I am with nightmares like a preschooler and these ugly things all over my skin. That night will permanently hold onto me, Daniel. I can never let it go if I’m reminded of it every time I look in the mirror.“ Her gaze travels to the lotion bottle on the an arm’s reach away. “I can empty as many of these bottles as I feel like, they never help. The doctor says they maybe would, big emphasis on the ‘maybe’ but, spoiler alert: they never do. I wish they’d stop stringing me along, every failed attempt is a hard-to-swallow disappointment.“ She chuckles humorlessly when Daniel takes the bottle from her, “And then there’s always the casually mentioned risk of it making them worse rather than better. You know, casually. Like, yeah this will either help you or fuck you up even worse.“ She ends the rant with a sigh, almost feeling like herself again.

Daniel sees it too, the fire in her eyes is fighting to light again. She’s so angry and yet she can’t express it to anyone. Anyone by him apparently. 

“So, you’re not gonna give it a shot?“ She shakes her head, “But what if it helps?“

“What if it makes it worse?“ She automatically replies, hugging her knees closer

“Let it be your last go. If it doesn’t do anything, or God forbid makes things worse, it’s on me. I owe you whatever you want. I know that’s nothing in comparison to what you’ll be dealing with, but...“ Sensing a speech is on its way, Taylor holds her hand up, shaking her head.

“Alright, spare me Mr. I-Don’t-Take-Medicine-Unless-I’m-On-My-Death-Bed. Give me the lotion.“

He shakes his head, stands up and takes hold of the hand she has outstretched instead. “Nah-ah, let me help.” The skeptical and downright humoring look she gives him when she stands to her feet almost makes him frown. “What? I’m not clueless, T. I know a think or two about skin care. You think this all came naturally?” He motions at himself cockily, stealing a genuine laugh from her.

“I knew nature couldn’t fuck up that badly. I suspected you had something to do with it.“ She narrows her eyes, meeting his also narrow-eyed gaze, both in on the fact that the other is messing around.

“Your skin is at my mercy. I wouldn’t talk smack if I were you.“ He playfully warns her, waving the lotion bottle in front of her.

She rolls her eyes, “Yeah whatever you say, tough guy.“ She opens a drawer under the sink and throws him a box of cotton pads.

Not wasting any time in fear she might change her mind, Daniel takes one pad out and puts a few drops of the lotion on it. He hesitantly brings it closer to the skin on the side of her neck while she stands as still as a statue, not breathing either. Despite all the bold talk, he’s still nervous. He really hopes this miracle liquid of chemicals works, solely because it will make Taylor happy. And to him, her happiness is all that matters.

She shudders when the cold, damp cotton pad makes contact with her skin and he immediately feels the need to apologize. Instead, however, he goes on to tell her exactly what’s on his mind, cause he knows there’ll never be a better time.

“What you call a reminder of that night, the horrors we endured, I see it differently...“ he trails off, looking at her reflection in the mirror out of the corner of his eye. “I see it as proof that we’re stronger than we know. And you, T...are the strongest of us all. Any of these scars could have been a lethal would but here you are, alive. And no, I’m not trying to say you’re lucky. None of us are. Lord knows what kind of fucked up luck we posses, but it ain’t right. No, you are brave. You went through it and fought to leave the battle with scars instead of dropping to the ground with a wound that is irredeemable. You’re a warrior, Taylor.” He pauses for a second and so do the movements of his hand. He hesitantly inhales before saying the last sentence he’s been holding back, “My warrior.” 

Taylor tilts her head to look at him, genuine surprise and warmth in her eyes. She’s baffled. Pleasantly caught off-guard by words she never thought she’d hear, let alone trust. She covers all this up with a smirk. Classic Taylor. “You weren’t really a pansy back there either, Dan.” She gently bumps his shoulder with hers.

His eyes narrow again. “I hate that nickn-“ It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t get to finish his sentence cause her lips are already on his, preventing him from ranting about...whatever he was about to go off about.

You know what they say: If you don’t finish saying it, it was never meant to be said in the first place. 

@artlovingbre  @megandaisy9  @sparrow-gg​

The Story of Their Lives (Lt. Aldo Raine)

Requested by: @tealaquinn

Summary: The story of Lt. Aldo Raine and Sgt. Y/N Y/L/N.

Prompts: 9 - Don't you touch her. & 12 - No one would hurt you again, or I'd kill them. & 21 - I wanna see how you lose control. & 24 - He's a badass with a good heart. & 39 - Kiss me. & 93 - You make me feel... you make me feel.

Author's Note: This is damn long so I really hope you like it! Also there are some parts in Italian so I'd like you to know, I've never learnt this language so there might be some mistakes. Feel free to send request or let me know if you wanna be tagged in these ♡

Taglist: @alienoresimagines @radiantcade @meteora-fc @kyra3155 @real-fans @not-john-watsons-blog @im-in-love-with-queen

.

.

.

Y/N and Aldo never showed some kind of an affection towards each other. They respected, trusted, appreciated the other one but these traits were common among the Basterds.

It seemed so innocent at first, almost like a teasing and none of the Jewish American soldiers expected to become it something more.

•••

They met at the very beginning of the Basterd's missions. Y/N was a french spy, a very famous one so she obviously got their attention since they'd gotten to France.

The Basterds recruited her in a bar and she immediately became one of them. Y/N fit within the group perfectly, like she was always destined to be a Basterd.

•••

After the third successful mission, they decided to stay the night in a local resistance hotel to relax and prepare for another action. Everyone went to their beds as soon as they could but Donny persuaded Y/N and Aldo to gamble a little before the sleep. 

"C'mon, just one game!" Donny pleaded. It didn't take much and the trio was sitting around a table playing their fifth game.

"I thought you're better at poker, Lieutenant." Y/N laughed as she grabbed another money she won.

"Shut up, Sergeant. I just am a bit lenient with ya, that's all." Aldo fought back, trying to cover the fact he's worse with cards than Hugo trying to actually smile for once. 

"Show me what you got, Lieutenant. I wanna see how you lose control." she winked at him and dealt the cards.

•••

Something changed in Aldo this evening. At first, Y/N was just another soldier sticking up for her country trying to end the war. But now he saw her in a totally different light.

He noticed what colour her eyes have, how she always ties her hair in a braid. 

He noticed how her cheeks blushed when he praises her after a good work.

He noticed how she scrunches her nose when she disagrees with someone. 

All those little things were filling his head. Aldo was so full of it. It was during the other mission when he completely understood his feelings.

•••

One moment and his whole world flipped. 

Aldo was so angry with himself that he missed such an important thing.

Like a gun. 

The German soldier was just kneeling in front of Aldo when he reached in his pocket. It all happened so quickly then.

The German pulled out a gun and with one last defiance he pulled the trigger. But it wasn't Aldo who got hit. 

It was the woman behind him.

Aldo was like deprived of his senses. He threw away the piece of bread he was eating and jumped at the German. If Wicki didn't pulled him back, Aldo would probably beat the guy to death.

And that was Donny's speciality.

"Don't you fuckin' touch her! Or look at her!" Aldo shouted hitting his face with his fist one more time.

Y/N was so taken away by his behaviour, not really sure where the anger got from.

"What the hell, Lieutenant?" she frowned, "it's just a goddamn scratch on my arm. The bullet didn't even hit me properly." 

Aldo froze whereas Donny and Hugo looked at each other with knowing smiles. They finally realised what was going on.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he tried to brush it off, gesturing to the Basterds to continue with the scalping. "It's fuckin' bleedin' a lot!"

"It's fine. Nothing too serious, Lieutenant." Y/N replied.

Aldo just shook his head as he took off his scarf and tied it around the wound. "No one would hurt ya again, or I'd kill 'em."

•••

The Basterds got ordered to rest a bit because there was a big mission on its way. They didn't know what it was but they all welcomed a full night sleep.

But Y/N didn't feel like going to bed. Instead, she took her cigarettes and sat at the balcony of the apartment they got settled in.

It was a chilly night but she didn't mind. She actually liked cold more than heat.

"Aldo seems a bit off lately." Donny's voice broke the silence as he positioned himself next to her.

"What you mean?" she asked offering him a cigarette which he gladly accepted. 

"Remember how he beated up the German officer two weeks ago? I've never seen him like that."

"Oh Donny. He's just a badass with a good heart. I assure you, Aldo's just fine."

Donny shrugged but didn't say anything. This wasn't his secret to tell even though the change in Aldo's behaviour towards her was so damn obvious. 

Donowitz glanced at Y/N smiling a bit. He understood why Aldo fell for the female Basterd. 

•••

Bridget von Hammersmark was laying in front of them with a bullet in her leg while Hugo, Archie and Wicki were dead.

Y/N was standing in the corner of the room, lost in her thoughts, mourning for her lost friends. She knew something like that had to happen but she also believed in Basterds and part of her thought that they'll all come back home one day.

Y/N wasn't able to look at the actress anymore. She quickly left the room not looking at anyone while she lighted her cigarette. It'd been becoming too much to handle for her.

"Are you alright?" Aldo frowned as he walked towards her. "You still in?"

She laughed sarcastically at his question sheaking her head. "Yeah, of course, business. I'm in, Lieutenant."

"I didn't mean in like that and ya know it."

"Yeah, sorry. It's just-"

"I know, Sergeant. This whole event got me thinkin'. I gotta tell you something."

Y/N threw away her cigarette as she looked directly at him. She wasn't sure if it was the light or the sentiment, but Aldo's eyes never seemed so beautiful to her like they did in that moment. 

"The truth is," Raine began as he stepped closer, "you make me feel... you make me feel, Sergeant."

•••

When Y/N stepped into the room in a black plain tight dress, the conversation between the Basterds immediately stopped. They'd never seen her in anything but in uniform or the civilian clothes. Donny dropped the glass of whiskey he was drinking, Hugo's knife fell on the ground with a loud crash, Omar and Wicki stayed there with their mouths wide opened, Archie Hicox smirked and Aldo, Aldo was taken away and wasn't able to get out a word.

"Please, gentlemen! This is how you welcome a beautiful woman? She looks magnificent!" Bridget von Hammersmark exclaimed gesturing towards Y/N.

"It's so uncomfortable," Y/N frowned and tried to adjust the dress a little, "and so impractical." 

"I think it's perfect." Aldo breathed out and Bridget smiled in satisfaction.

Y/N truly looked like a completely new person. And Aldo's feelings mixed once again. She was so special to him, like water is special to desert. His life was dry without an excitment. She was the water that refreshed him after a long time of loneliness.

•••

Bridget, Aldo, Y/N, Donny and Omar stepped into the small local cinema, already so full of Nazi officers.

"It makes me sick." Y/N snorted as she looked around on the German uniforms. "I have two knives and a gun and I'm not afraid to use them right now."

Aldo laughed next to her and gallantly put his hand on her hip pulling her closely to him.

"Just relax, darlin'. We'll do that later." Aldo winked at her, not letting her go for a moment.

Bridget suddenly seemed like she'd seen a ghost. An older man approached their little group and Y/N immediately understood with whom they have the honor.

Bridget and Hans Landa shared a short conversation before they turned to them. Hammersmark formally introduced the Basterds and Y/N flinched a little under the German's look. Aldo noticed right away her change of attitude and stroked her hip gently.

"Sei assolutamente incredibile, signorina! Ho notato che molti ufficiali hanno voltato la testa dopo di te." (You look absolutely stunning, miss! I noticed that many officers turned their head after you.) Hans Landa grinned and Y/N thought it was the most disgusting thing ever.

"Grazie mille signore. Sono sicuro che stai esagerando." (Thank you very much, sir. I'm sure you're exaggerating.) Y/N faked a smile and clenched her hand in fist to remain calm.

All of the Basterds with Bridget jerked their heads towards her. Her fluent Italian took them away as well as Landa.

"Quanto amo la lingua italiana! E dalla bocca di una donna così bella, è una musica per le mie orecchie." (How I love the Italian language! And from the mouth of such a beautiful lady, it's a music for my ears.)

"Mi stai adulando, signor Landa. Non hai un brutto aspetto." (You're flattering me, Mr Landa. You don't look so bad yourself.) Y/N felt like vomitting any next second. 

Aldo had enough of Landa's fake attitude, especially how Y/N looked so stressed and angry. He decided he has to step in or she won't hold herself back. Aldo recalled the one sentence he learnt yesterday, just in case he'd need to interrupt a moment in a formal way. This was the time.

"Baciami, adesso." (Kiss me, right now.) he stated and pulled Y/N even closer than before. She didn't manage to prostest or ask a quick question and their lips touched. She returned the kiss immediately and ran her fingers through his hair.

Until someone coughed.

They pulled apart from each other, Aldo smiling widely like a winner and Y/N blushing harder than ever.

"Ci scusi signore. Il mio ragazzo qui è un tipo appassionato. Devi perdonarlo." (Excuse us, sir. My boyfriend here is the passionate kind. You must forgive him.) Y/N stuttered and but looked directly at Landa.

•••

Operation Kino was over and it was now only her, Aldo and Utivich. They lost everybody along the way. They stood together side by side through everything. They'd become something stronger than family, friends, lovers. They faced death together and nothing could break the bond they'd created over the years. It was time to go home.

Y/N stood on the ship that was taking the Basterds, or what was left of them, home. The wind was dancing on her hair whispering secrets in her ears.

"I never thought I'd make it back home." Aldo Raine appeared next to her with a cigarette between his lips.

"None of us thought so, Lieutenant." she nodded, "but the difference is, we were wrong. Not them."

"Smart as always." Aldo grinned as he turned to her. "You should stop calling me Lieutenant. The war's over."

Y/N giggled at his statement and he could swear he'd never heard something so melodic, something so right. 

"It kinda sticked with you, Lieutenant."

Aldo didn't answer, instead he threw away the cigarette and took some deep breaths. He needed whiskey, or anything else that would give him at least a bit of courage.

Aldo Raine fought in war, he saw his friends die, he was broken by everything he saw and still, asking Y/N a simple question seemed harder than surviving the bloodshed.

"Spill it out, Lieutenant." she laughed as she glanced at him. 

"I hate how ya always do that. But here it goes," Aldo replied, "I've never been good at this so I'll just keep it short."

He stopped for a moment and stared at the woman in front of him. As he stepped closer, his heart was already racing like it'd never before.

"Why don't ya come to the States with me? We can buy some little house in the Smoky Mountains and live there for the rest of our fuckin' lives." Aldo confessed in his Raine kind of way, looking at her with so much hope in his eyes. 

"Is this some kind of your proposal?" Y/N chuckled as she intertwined her fingers with his.

"Maybe."

"I thought you'd never ask! Of course I'll come with you! You're everything I have, Aldo." 

wbl has mitigating circumstances that make sense wITHIN the story. non consensuality isn’t ok but there’s a foundation we see which, yes, is majorly failed in other tv shows. there are other ways to show whattever it is they feel like it (i watched the end of ep 2, im just too fuckin depressed rn to even think) but it’s intersting the cruelty exists not in A vacuum but the world with WBL creates where we can see that stark difference. something many BLs and shows in gen like kdramas or teen or new adult (essentially every youthfoul show cos exploitation and creator not caring) understand. TT is  a prime example of how it just doesn’t make sense these types of relationships unless there’s a solid enough foundation and at least a mild understanding of the inappropriateness.

right now, the toxicity is born out of like actual conflict. wer i  in in this situation, would i do any of that? no. in fact i’d beat anyone’s ass for ever manhandling me that way. i  want to itereate here emphasis none of this behavior is ok. since it is a tv show, they have more control and could ostensibly  have not written that. however, it’s okay for a show to flub that message, make us uncomfortable, or even truly fuck up the way we think it’s fucked up. i do NOT advise this to be a plan. HOWEVER: PEOPLE DO MAKE MISTAKES. the reddest flag of all is: ARE THEY WILLING TO CHANGE? if they are not, they do NOT deserve to be together.

which mbrings me here. theyre giving us a reason why.

the program gives itself the space and the foreground for it to be a story that isnt fuocused on how much they fuck and fight. ergo these behaviours cannot be repeated bc theyre in this instance. so many viewers of everything say people expect media to be perfect. no. we dont. it’s impossible and we live in a trash disgusting racist capitaist garbage hellfire. what you mean is you want to see people make mistakes but ultimately transgress them and sometimes people just do shit we wouldn’t forgive, or is  messed up, or the writers need to make DAMN FUCKING SURE is clear. 

but unlike most shows esp targeted for young teens both het and BL, thte consequences of love or what love means to young people is so skewed and poorly done because it’s by people who AREN’T that age, don’t know howhumans work, shit like that. i mean u can just tell by the acting even as sam is really goof and most experienced but has a real whole life outside of this persona, a girlfriend, goals of acting probably; showing what it’s like to be human in a way but not a projection of human fantasy through rape culture.

we like to see dysfunction for two reasons: as a way to get out of it or as a redemption arc

but for people who are making cheap shows for kids who don’t need to think about it it’s like: shitty execution, gross love, and no context for why they should even CONTINUE to stay together on top of the harm 

wbl is far from perfect like any other show  but it’s wil what happens when intentions are clear when you show them and so it’s easier for all of us to process. not to mention they built this story through blocks, the way one is supposed to, the relationship of the two of them when they hadn’t been intimate is very different from now 

GSD has to tell the truth, SY has to grow up, rich ppl suck. but it’s a good ride

as an aside is sam lin’s gf cute i hope so but like in a fun way idc abt model bitches it’s so obvious when men do that lmaoooooo but omg! i hope hes happy and also he and mr yu stay friends fro a long time!

oh and i wanna add that GSD’s life revolving around his love for shi yu is actually untrue. it’s a projectiona nd i think the illusion of that projection is brokena nd that’s a good thing. the show sets up an ensemble cast we vibe with, want to see, appreciate, and that means GSD has friends and loves. his life revolves aruond him and the way he sees the romance but he would have never let his mom go to the US by himself and i really hope the show explores why it is IMPERATIVE for him to find his own personhood and not just take care of others. 

his mom would want him to love every bit of his life. all consuming love is so beautiful but it’s only beautiful when you realize you have to survive to love someone so well. and when you survive and understand yourself, your loved ones feel it. they’re very reliable as a group friends and a people and shi de is and will always be a human outside of yu. he has to understand that. it was nice to see his anger at being played too cos it’s like yea that’s fucking disgusting and it hurts and kills you

i’m going to continue to assess the volatility within the story and its progression as much as i can if i can handle being online. this show really exceeds a lot of expectations and mostly i think i forget....it’s actually fun. i was so happy to see the way the dad came into the room in the morning bc i think that was so sweet and hopefully is an indicator of why he said to do what he did. unfortunately homophobic or not: he fucked up. majorly. as a parent, a confideant, a loved one. you do not do that. i am sorry. but they can bounce back. but that’s a lot of pain, ok? 

also i hate rich ppl did i mention that

oh one more thing idk if they had sex but dramas love to do the whole drunk ppl fucking thing and it’s fucking disgusting and will always be :)

My thoughts on Act 2, Episode 5

Yes, I’m incredibly late to the party. It took me longer than I thought to finally be able to finish reading Ep 5 BUT here it is! I’m gonna try to summarize my initial reactions and how I feel about the main plot points here both for myself and for anyone that wants to read them.

Long post under the cut!

One small thing I want to mention before delving into the big stuff: seeing all the boys starting new stages in their lives was honestly super heartwarming; they’ve grown so much both as individuals and together as a company (and as friends), and it was a delight to see it. As a fan of small details, I loved to see that the conversation Banri and Yuki had in “Into the Night!” (about him taking acting seriously and maybe going to college to bring back the knowledge to the company) was reflected in his choice of going to Veludo Arts University.

But anyway! There’s 3 main things I want to talk about in regards to this episode:

First up is Masumi’s arc:

Hooooo boy, I hadn’t been this angry about a fictional parent since we learned about Misumi’s family. I think the main thing that irked me a lot about his dad was how little regard he seemed to have for his son as an actual human being. Especially because of how hypocritical it sounded when his secretary said stuff like "Mr Usui is concerned about you living without a parental figure for so long" because we all know that Masumi has been living basically on his own for a long time and the excuse of "Masumi has only been living in Japan this long due to his parent's desire to keep his environment as stable as possible while they were married" felt super empty because yeah, right, coming back to an empty home every day is the healthiest way to raise a child, it surely can’t affect his well-being and his sense of worth in any way.

Masumi saying "I thought it might make them happy if i got good grades or did well in sports, so I tried my best, but...nothing ever changed"  and the story about him begging his parents to come to the show and tell and his dad's response was just "Listen to your parents, that's all we want from you" was so heartbreaking. It made me incredibly angry but it also helped me understand Masumi as a character a lot more; no wonder he has attachment issues (which are mainly centred around Izumi/the MC) and his constant need for validation, he just wants people to be there for him and be proud of his accomplishments. He just wants a family but his parents were just too busy to even give a crap. 

Also, in relation to Izumi: I think he still needs to learn that the obsession he has with her is not healthy (and hopefully one day he can grow out of it) but it's clear that he doesn't do it to purposely make her uncomfortable; he's misguided and he doesn't know how to deal and express the affection he feels towards one of the people that genuinely cares about him. Also I'm not saying that he doesn't have a crush on her, I think he does but he behaves this way because he never learned how to express his feelings in a healthy way and he's probably scared someone "could take her away" at any moment because boy hasn't he had to deal with people going again a lot already.

About Masumi’s grandma: love her, she’s a darling and she clearly cares for her grandson’s well being. One thing she mentions is that her son changed when his company found success, and like, I get that he needs to put time and effort to keep his company afloat but like. not even considering what your son wants and feels? Maybe talking to him every once in a while? Being busy it's not an excuse; your son shouldn't have to wonder if his parents love him. But this also ties to the end of Masumi’s arc when his father finally lets him stay in Japan: I'm glad that Masumi's father apologised and realised the error of his ways, it doesn't undo the years of loneliness Masumi had to endure because of it, but it's a start.

Final thoughts on Masumi’s arc: 10/10 would read it again for the feels. I really loved the depth they gave him and how they made him realise that Mankai (not just Izumi) are important to him because they’re his precious family and he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. One little moment after that warmed my heart was when Izumi tells Masumi that she's glad that he's been taking care of Tsuzuru while he's busy writing and he answers with "I mean, he is...family",,,,,,,,,,,I’m not crying, you’re crying. I hope we can get more moments with him in the future that are centred around his personality, his likes and dislikes, and his relationships with the other boys.

In second place, Chikage’s introduction and arc.

Let's see. I knew coming in that Chikage was a controversial character within the fandom and I knew the main reason why because of spoilers, but I didn’t know all the details. Also, something you should know about me is that I found morally grey characters interesting, so that made it so I went into this with an open mind.

Overall, I liked the episode and I ended up linking Chikage as a character well enough. But I’m not gonna lie and say that everything was perfect. The biggest issue I had with his arc was the way they handled his relationship with Izumi/the MC, especially in regards to the kidnapping. I’m usually pretty good at putting a dividing line between fiction and real life, which is what allows me to enjoy villains and morally grey characters; but as a woman who grew up with my mom saying “never leave your drink/food unattended”, seeing it done here and then having it go unpunished really left a bad taste in my mouth; because every girl grows up hearing this (and i know this is a problem that affects all genders) and it’s horrible because it has happened to so many people. So my biggest gripe about this part of his arc is the consequences, or more so the lack of them.

The only things that made it a bit more acceptable *for me* were three things:

This line from Izumi: "What Chikage's done is unforgivable. But I can't just ignore August's dying wish and Hisoka's thoughts on the matter." I have some mixed feelings about it but It just aligns with Izumi’s personality; she’s always been portrayed as incredibly selfless and giving, someone who’s ridiculously kind (to a fault) and who always tries to see the best in people and puts others before herself (and also because ~plot~ demands it, but that’s a thing with a lot of media these days) Do I wish she had been angry and wary towards Chikage after having been drugged and kidnapped? Yes, I do, it would have been nice to have a portion of the story dedicated to Chikage having to earn her trust back because what he did really was not okay.

Sakuya’s conversation with Chikage when he tries to leave after opening night and in particular these two lines from Sakuya: "This isn't about the play....for some reason, I get the feeling we shouldn't leave you alone right now" [...] "You're different now. I can tell you're broken and hurting. I feel like you've lost your way." Regardless of personal feelings, I think Chikage showed that he really was shaken by the weight of his own actions after he found out the truth. He knows that what he did was wrong and that’s why his emotions and all his guilt were crushing him all at once. He was driven by revenge and anger for so long that once he learned and accepted the truth, he completely lost himself. And seeing him have to deal with all of that made me really glad, because even if he’s not gonna have to deal with external consequences (aka having to deal with the rest of the company’s distrust, even though I wish he did), he still had to find a way to not only forgive himself but also to atone in his own way for what he did (aka putting down his walls, fulfilling his promises and making it his mission to protect everyone at mankai from the organisation) 

Now, as I’ve been saying, I really wish Chikage had been able to tell the others the whole story about what he did and why he did it but…..we didn’t get that. What I am glad about, though, is that at least he told them that he took her away on purpose (even if he didn’t tell them how or why); also both he and Hisoka pointed out that anyone who knows the full truth about their lives could be in serious danger and that having Izumi know was already risky enough. And yes, that is indeed very plot convenient but it’s the bare minimum and I’m willing to give it a pass this time.

tl;dr I think Chikage is an interesting character that has a lot of potential and I have hopes that he will get some more development in future events. BUT, I really think they could have handled his arc in this episode a lot better.

Now, all that said, if you still couldn’t bring yourself to forgive or look past what he did and you still don’t like him: no one can force you to like him after the things he did since it can be very triggering for a lot of people, so remember that your feelings are totally valid.

In third place and in relation to Chikage’s arc, I also have to mention Hisoka and the development he got as a result.

The only thing that bugged me in relation to Hisoka was that even though I knew he couldn't because of ~plot~ (and probably because part of him is still unsure about what he didn't remember and how it could affect the others even if he did say that the person he was before didn't matter anymore) but I really wished he had told anyone "hey so like......Chikage said some weird stuff to me just now and I might need help" because their first 1 to 1 confrontation was a threat if I've ever seen one.

But yeah, other than that I really love that we not only finally got to learn about his past, but also we got a good foundation for his development in the future regarding his interpersonal relationships with the winter troupe. The fact that he couldn’t remember who he was has been a point of conflict in the past and this brings that issue to a close in the sense that he is willing to tell them (part of) the truth once he sorts things out. And I loved loved how the trust Hisoka has in them is the direct result of all the ups and downs that the winter troupe has gone through so far in learning to open up to each other. I know they said during nocturnality that they’re not a family in the same sense the spring troupe is, but I honestly disagree; they way in which they’ve come to rely on each other shows how strong their bond is.

My Soul To Take

Also available on AO3:

If Steve Rogers had any less self-control, he’d put his fist through the wall.

He mustered up every scrap of patience he could manage, reminding himself, for the dozenth time that day, that punching out his boyfriend and fellow co-leader would be frowned upon, unprofessional, and not at all tempting.

“Cap. Capitan. My Lord Capsicle.” Tony leaned on Steve’s shoulder. “You are really killing my buzz.”

Steve snarled. “Has anything ever shut you up, a day in your life?”

Tony grinned, but it wasn’t a nice smile. All gleaming eyes and sharp angles. He sidled closer to Steve, whispering in his ear. “Why? You wanna be my first?”

Steve wanted to punch that smirk right off his face.

Or kiss him senseless. Whichever came first.

“No?” Tony shrugged, pushing off the floor with his foot, and spinning a circle in his swivel chair. “Suit yourself.”

Nick Fury tapped his fingers impatiently on the table a few feet away, clearing his throat. It was just the three of them at the conference table. “Are you two finished?”

Tony continued his circuit around the room, chewing on the tip of a pen. “Ask Captain Perfect. He’s the real authority around here.”

“Somebody has to be. What were you thinking?”

Tony did another lap, pushing off Steve’s leg for momentum. “I was thinking that woman was going to die. Or didn’t you see the falling skyscraper headed her way? Maybe she could have come out on top, but – call me crazy – I didn’t like her chances.”

Steve gritted his teeth. “I had her. I could have gotten there in time. Which you’d know, if you’d been on coms.”

“Okay,” Tony scoffed, jabbing a finger at Steve. “First of all, you can’t reprimand me for putting myself in harm’s way. We’re Avengers. That’s stupid. Second, maybe I wouldn’t have muted my coms if you weren’t just using them to countermand my orders and yell at people. Third! No, fuck off, I’m not finished – third! You didn’t have her. I snatched her up with millimeters to spare and you were a mile away, so don’t give me that bullshit!” Tony shook his head, brown eyes full of bewilderment. “And I would have sworn you’d make the same call I did, until today. What is going on with you?”

Steve bit his lip. Remembered a red-and-gold blur, facing down that debris all alone. Enough debris to crush a man. Even one encased in a suit made of gold-titanium alloy.

He felt sick.

“Enough!” Fury banged his fist down on the table. “What am I paying you two idiots for?”

Steve blinked. “Respectfully, sir, you don’t pay us at all.”

“Figure of speech, Rogers,” Fury replied, heaving a long-suffering sigh. He muttered, almost to himself, “They don’t pay me enough to do this job.”

Tony spun around. Pushed off Steve’s knee. Spun around again.

Steve bit back a growl, cheeks flaming. “Stop that.”

“Make me,” Tony sing-songed back.

The stress of the day, combined with the added tension of trying to find a ‘new normal’, now that he and Tony were officially sharing each other’s beds, made something within Steve snap. He thrust his arm out, smacking Tony’s foot away. “Knock it off!”

To his dismay, Steve had stricken Tony with enough force to send the chair careening into the wall. There was an audible crack. He froze.

A flicker of trepidation set Steve’s stomach churning.

Just as he was getting genuinely nervous, his boyfriend put that internal crisis to rest. Tony gazed over at Steve, that unmovable grin still stretched across his face, though it looked tighter now. “Well, well. He likes it rough. Mr. America, I am shocked…and scandalized.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve demurred, feeling a pang of guilt. He still forgot his own strength when he was under a lot of stress. “I shouldn’t have…”

“Forget about it.” Tony shrugged. He pushed off the wall with his left foot, sliding back to sit beside Steve. The two of them had been sniping at each other for days, even before this. Between all the villains of the week, there hadn’t been time to sit down and talk about it.

Steve was willing to admit he hadn’t been making it easy. He’d been tense, borderline cold to Tony, particularly on the battlefield. And while the billionaire had clearly been angling for a reaction here, any reaction, Steve should have been above rising to the bait.

Steve sighed. He caught Tony’s eye, hoping he could convey with a look what he couldn’t manage with words. They’d been doing so well communicating before moving their relationship to the next level. It wasn’t Tony’s fault Steve was having trouble with the status quo.

As if to solidify his shame, Tony seemed to understand. He smiled gently. Blinked at Steve, with those big-brown eyes.

Steve loved him.

He didn’t dare speak the words yet.

He needed to find a way to compartmentalize this. To quantify the way he felt for Tony, without jeopardizing his command and everyone under it. He needed to find a way to lead. A way not to instinctively put Iron Man above everyone else. He didn’t want to think that was what could have happened today, but it was looking like a grim possibility.

Steve focused back on the conversation as Tony continued to regale the S.H.I.E.L.D. Director with tales of their latest misadventure. His lover’s voice came lilting and easy. For the rest of the briefing, he seemed his normal, animated self, though he remained oddly still.

That set Steve’s teeth on edge. If there was one thing he understood about Tony, it was that the man was in constant motion. Hands waving, feet tapping. Fingers toying with a cuff-link or clicking on a pen. Tony had to be doing something. He tended to get anxious otherwise.

Yet, now, he remained seated. Motionless.

Steve’s stomach clenched.

Tony wasn’t acting angry at Steve. He was close enough that he could reach out and touch him, if he wanted to, but…

Somehow, the three of them managed to get through the briefing without anyone being worse for wear. Fury did fix them both with a lingering glare, however, and in no uncertain terms told them to figure their shit out.  “I couldn’t give a single fuck about your lover’s quarrels, so don’t you dare drag your miserable hides anywhere near my helicarrier until your goddamn heads are on straight.”

For one uncomfortable minute, things were silent after Fury left, neither of them looking at one another. Tony remained motionless. Steve still couldn’t see his hands, and that unsettled him more than he could say.

“Tony…”

“Don’t.” Tony shook his head. His smile was soft, forgiving, but there was something wrong with it. Something artificial that Steve wasn’t used to seeing directed at him.

“I really am sorry.” Steve looked him up and down. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

“I’m fine.” Tony fiddled with his phone display. Shot Steve a smirk. More authentic, this time. “I told you. Don’t worry about it.”

Steve winced. The ‘F’ word. Yikes.

He did have explaining to do.

“I know I’ve been…distant.” Steve stood up, threading their fingers together. Whatever his hubris, he didn’t want it to affect Tony. Or what they had together. “Let me make it up to you?”

When he moved to pull Tony to his feet, the billionaire tugged his hand away. He tried to make it look casual, but it was an immediate red flag. “You go ahead, I’ll catch up.”

That flicker of unease he’d felt earlier came back full force. Steve frowned.

“Are you sure you’re…”

Tony looked up at him, thin sheen of sweat coating his brow.

And Steve knew.

His stomach dropped clean through his feet.

“Didn’t you hear me? Go on, scram. I’ve got things to do that don’t involve you.” A note of desperation crept into Tony’s tone, one that Steve knew he was trying hard to force down. He hid his hands in his pockets. “I’ll see you at home, okay?”

His right foot, conspicuously, hovered above the floor.

Steve stared.

“What, is there something on my face?” Tony quipped, though his voice was shakier now. His eyes flickered from Steve’s face to the floor. Likely, he knew the jig was up, but he still straightened his posture. Wiped his brow. “Here, you know what? Fine, you win. Let’s go.”

Tony stood up from the chair, still balanced on his left foot. He spun around, put his weight on his right…

…and crumpled.

Steve surged forward to catch him, speechless. Horrified.

Tony whimpered. He tried to hold it back. Steve could see his teeth dart out, biting his lip, but he didn’t quite manage.

Oh, God.

“It’s nothing. Let go of me.” Tony groused, pushed Steve away. He tried to take another step. This time he managed one before he fell, stumbling into the wall by the door. “Okay. Maybe not nothing.”

This reminded Steve of the asthmatic episodes he used to have. He couldn’t seem to catch his breath, each one more stuttering and useless than the last.

“Oh, God…” Tony muttered, on the edge of a moan. He was leaning up against the wall now, eyes clouded with pain. “Steve. Baby, look at me…”

Steve could feel his breathing speeding up. His vision blurred.

“It’s okay.” Tony reached for him: voice soft, words calming. “We’re okay. Let’s just…”

The tears were welling up now, slipping down Steve’s cheeks. This wasn’t the time. This wasn’t the time at all.

But he’d hurt Tony. Broken something. And for what, because Steve was a little frustrated? Because he couldn’t handle loving his best friend?

“I’m just gonna sit. Okay?” Tony slid down the wall, sweating, paler than sin. “You wanna sit?”

Steve knew he should move. He needed to scoop Tony up, and run him to medical. He needed to fix this.

But his stomach was cramping. His lungs were bursting. His breath was stuttering, coming faster and faster, tearing violently from his lips. Sweat broke out on his brow. It was too hot. It was hotter than sin in here…

He’d hurt Peggy once, too. Squeezed her arm. She’d laughed it off. Silenced his apologies with a finger to his lips.

One week later, the year was twenty-twelve, and she didn’t know his name.

“Steve!”

It cut through the haze — Tony’s voice. Shrill. Terrified. That didn’t make any sense, because his lover was strong. Strong like Peggy. Like Bucky, and his Commandos. It hadn’t saved them.

It wouldn’t save him.

Steve never got to keep the ones he loved.

A whimper punctuated by a series of curses, and suddenly, something was touching Steve’s ankle. He jolted.

Tony was there on the floor. He must have crawled his way over to Steve. He was grasping at one of the chairs they’d vacated, using the arms to lever himself up. He collapsed back into it, and Steve dropped to his knees. Cupped Tony’s face with both hands.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”

“Shh…” Tony crooned, reaching up with fingers that shook. “I know you didn't mean it. You'd never hurt me on purpose.”

“Never,”  Steve choked, holding him closer still. Tony leaned into him. Kissed his palm. “Never.”

Tony touched their foreheads together, all but fell into him. Steve took his weight easily. Slid both arms around his waist. His voice was thready, drawn with pain. “Wanna give me a lift? I hear their facilities are to die for.”

Steve choked on something he wasn’t quite sure should be a laugh or a sob.

“Okay, not my best work, I’ll admit. I’m wounded here, give me a break.” Tony tucked his head under Steve’s chin.

Steve scooped Tony into his arms. He kissed his forehead with shaking lips. Get it together, soldier. Keep it together.

Steve wiped angrily at the tears on his cheeks, hefting Tony with one arm. He was sure it was obvious he’d been crying, but his own comfort didn’t matter. He needed to get him help.

Tony, for his part, was quiet, peppering the silence with the occasional witty anecdote. Likely more for Steve’s benefit than anything else. Steve was careful not to jostle him unnecessarily, though there were a few whimpers Tony tried desperately to swallow. Each muffled noise broke his heart.

Steve got him to medical in record time and the nurses settled them in a private room, whisking Tony quickly away for x-rays and leaving Steve to collapse into a chair. He shot a quick message to Natasha, explaining the bulk of what happened, and promising to keep them apprised. Then, he dropped his head into his hands. There he sat, until the doctors returned.

This could never happen again. If Steve couldn’t find a way to contain his strength, under any kind of duress, he shouldn’t have it at all. He was better than that.

Tony deserved better.

They’d given Tony something for the pain. By the time they wheeled him back in, he was pleasantly soft and muzzy headed, the strain gone from his face. The doctor put up x-rays and showed them the break. Hairline fracture. All in all, nothing serious. Tony would have to wear a cast for six to eight weeks, after which, he’d be good as new.

They were discharged without much fuss. Tony remained oddly quiet when the Quin-jet came to pick them up, though narcotics usually made him drowsy, and he slept on and off most of the way through. The others gave them a wide berth, didn’t pry. Steve suspected Natasha was responsible for that, and he was more grateful than words could say. He didn’t want to face them yet. He didn’t have the strength.

Steve took Tony back to his bedroom. Removed his socks. Dressed him in his favorite pair of sweatpants. That hoodie he’d pilfered from Steve, the month before. Tony was half-awake. Tugged him down for lazy kisses every chance he got. And if the occasional tear escaped Steve’s eyes, well, he’d kissed those too.

“What’s up with you lately, hmm?” Tony was brave enough to ask, later, as Steve held him close. He reached up. Found Steve’s cheek, and held his hand there. The words didn’t slur, but they were soft around the edges. He pressed a sloppy kiss to the underside of Steve’s jaw. “What’re you afraid of?”

For one long moment, Steve was silent. Tony stayed where he was, stroking his cheek with a thumb.

Tears slipped unbidden down his cheeks. “How can I lead the Avengers, when all I care about is you?”

Tony seemed to understand. His thumb paused for a moment, before resuming its idle stroking. “You still wanna lead ‘em. Don’t you?”

Steve choked on a sob. He recognized those words. His words, spoken to Tony months before. He’d said them when they resolved to lead this team, together.

“I do.” Steve reached up to hold Tony’s hand, kept it pressed against his cheek.

“Then we’ll figure it out.”

Steve held Tony. He’d just given him another dose of meds, so it wouldn’t be long, now. He let Tony burrow closer, breath hot against Steve’s bare chest.

He loved him. He loved him.

Tony kissed his arm, sloppily, the only appendage he could reach.

This time, maybe that would be enough.

Too Little, Too Late

A/n: Yes, this is back to back. No, I am not sorry. I’ll make it up to y’all with a Della fic that I’m almost done with, I promise.

Trigger Warnings: Death, Mentions of violence

Word count: 1,669

Tag list:  @everyonehasthoughts @imaramennoodle @bookwyrminspiration @holesinmyfalseconfidence @percabetn @an-absolute-travesty @linhammon-roll-bromance101 @linhamon-roll @ anyone who cares

Della unlocked the gates to Everglen, bringing Keefe into a side hug. “How’s my son doing?”

“I’m alright, just came here to check in.”

Della sighed, holding Keefe by the shoulders. “You know you can’t lie to me, right? I’ve got a mother’s instinct.”

He looked down in guilt, picking at the bottom of his tunic. “I just haven’t spoken to Fitz in a while, I need to clear some things up. Gosh, I’ve been a terrible friend. Probably don’t even qualify for ‘best friend.’”

“Honey, you’ve done nothing wrong.” Della held his chin up so they could make eye contact. “You are the reason Fitz is still going, the reason he made it through his earlier years at Foxfire. You can’t blame yourself for taking some time for yourself.”

“But it’s selfish an-“

“It’s not selfish, it’s normal. And it’s necessary. We love you here, Keefe. And we can all help each other.” Della glanced around to check that she wasn’t being watched. “There’s mallowmelt in the top right cabinet in the kitchen. Take some upstairs so you and Fitz can share.”

“Fitz didn’t make them, did he?”

“No, goodness no! The house would’ve collapsed if he even tried!”

They chuckled together, before coming back to reality.

“Thank you, Della, for everything,” Keefe said sincerely. “I wouldn’t be who I am today without you.”

“No need to thank me, we’re family now. Ever since we met you, we knew you had a good heart. It’s been a wild ride, seeing you grow up...” Della trailed off, but was brought back to focus by Keefe’s fidgeting. “Well, I shouldn’t keep you. Fitz is in his room.”

“Thanks.”

Della watched him walk up the flowery path to the door, sliding in as if it where his own home. Because it was. But not for long.

____________

Keefe knocked on the bedroom door. “Fitz, open up!”

“Leave me alone, Keefe.”

“C’mon Fitzy, don’t be like that.” When he received no response, he singsonged, “I have mallowmelt.”

An audible sigh came from the other side of the door as Fitz unlocked his door with a click. He blocked Keefe’s path. “Mallowmelt first, then we talk.”

“You got it, boss.” Keefe passed him the tray and plopped down on the floor. Fitz popped a piece in his mouth and sat down in front of Keefe, remaining within the borders of his room. They waited a while in silence before Keefe spoke up.

“Listen, I feel really bad for not being there for you, and I wanna fix it. So tell me, how have you really been? And don’t give the ‘I’m fine, just a little tired or angry’ lie. I want to be let back in, and I’m willing to change to do that.”

Fitz huffed, passing the tray so Keefe could have some mallowmelt as well. “Maybe I’m not ready to open up. To show my raw emotions.”

“And that’s fine too. I don’t expect you to forgive me right away like Sophie did. But I want to know what I can do to make it up to you. I want my best friend back.” Keefe’s voice cracked during the last sentence, but Fitz was kind enough, or perhaps oblivious enough, to not mention it.

“You can start by making up for lost time. You tell me what led to your recklessness, and maybe I’ll be more willing to listen to what you have to say.”

“I... just wanted to be the hero. I wanted to feel like I was worth something, you know? I mean, sure, other people have it worse, but I always felt so alone, being an only child, living in that tower with my parents. I never felt like I belonged, like I was loved, like I was worth anything. But I thought I could change that. So I tried to play my mother’s game, tried to get a step ahead and just like everything else, I messed up. That’s just how life is, right?” Keefe laughed bitterly and looked off to the side in an attempt to conceal a tear that slipped past his guard. But this time, Fitz noticed.

He reached out his arms instinctively, but hesitated. Was it weird to hug his best friend? Was it overstepping boundaries, or breaking “the code”? Keefe shifted uncomfortably, not sure what to do next. Screw it, Fitz decided. His friend needed him. Sliding the mallowmelt tray to the side, Fitz tackled him in a bear hug.

Keefe squeaked in surprise, but slowly and gently wrapped his arms around him. “Is there a particular reason for this?”

“Shut up and stop bottling your emotions,” Fitz murmured into his neck. He lifted his head up. “It’s okay to cry. I won’t think any less of you.”

Keefe hesitated, but one concerned glance from Fitz made him crumple. He wrapped his arms tighter around the boy’s neck, letting all of the pain, agony, and guilt turn to nothing but ghosts and echoes and fade away. Fitz rocked him back and forth, rubbing his back comfortingly.

“I’m sorry,” Fitz whispered. “I’m sorry for shutting you out, for forgetting what you’ve gone through. I could’ve - should’ve - been there. I’ll be there from now on. I promise.”

“You shouldn’t be the one apologizing, Vacker,” Keefe mumbled between hiccupy sobs. “I envied you, you know. I did what everyone else did to your family, and I didn’t realize just how wrong it was. How much you were hurting.”

“I’ll start to forgive you if you do the same for me. Deal?”

“Deal,” Keefe agreed, finally pulling away from the hug. His eyes were puffy and red, but he was smiling a real, genuine smile.

“Great, now get us some more mallowmelt, I need to put my throwing stars away.”

“Practicing without Grizel? I’m disappointed,” Keefe joked.

Fitz rolled his eyes. “She helped me set up this dummy in my room so I could practice if she was busy.”

The clashing of swords was heard from downstairs.

“See what I mean? Sandor probably came over to spar, which means Sophie’s probably with Biana, Fitz reasoned. “We can have a guy’s night if you want. But you have to be the snack man, I am not getting up.” Fitz turned his back to free the throwing stars.

“Yes, Mr. Vacker.” Keefe mimicked his accent. “But remember, if you don’t answer the first knock, I’ll-“

“You’ll what?” Silence. Fitz turned around. “Keefe, you’ll-“

Keefe slowly fell to the floor, folded over himself, his tunic stained with blood. Vespera stood over him, And, satisfied that he was done for, turned her attention to Fitz.

His vision clouded with red. Just moments before his friend was smiling, poking fun at him, just like the good old days. And now he was coughing up blood, half dead on his carpet. He hurled two throwing stars at Vespera, one cutting the side of her neck, the other embedding itself above her cold heart. She staggered back, regained her footing and prepared to attack, but Gisela pulled her aside. She glanced at her son, and Fitz could’ve sworn he saw a flash of pain cross her eyes.

“You weren’t supposed to go after him, you were supposed to get the Vackers,” Gisela scolded. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

“Your boy was in my way, and we need to go now,” Vespera spat. “I’m bleeding out.”

Grizel and Ro came barreling up the stairs, Grizel taking Gisela and Ro taking Vespera. Gisela grabbed Vespera’s arm and, breaking through a window, phase-shifted to freedom.

Grizel tried to check on Fitz, but he moved past her, holding Keefe in his lap. “I’ll have to move onto the next house,” Keefe finished softly, laughing before it turned into a coughing fit.

“Sh, don’t talk so much, it’ll make it worse.”

“That’s your way of telling me to shut up?”

Fitz brushed some of Keefe’s hair out of his face. “How can you joke at a time like this, Keefe?”

“It’s my specialty.” Keefe offered a weak smile. “You know Elwin won’t make it in time, right?”

“Don’t think like that.”

“It’s the truth, Fitz,” Keefe insisted, tearing brimming on the borders of his eyes. “But there’s some things I have to tell you before I go. I’m so grateful for you, and for everything you’ve done for me. You’re the best best friend I could ever get, and I’m sorry I hurt you. I forgive you, for not being there. But I’ll always be with you.”

Fitz didn’t bother trying to stop the tears. “Keefe, I-“

“I’m not done,” Keefe interrupted, interlocking his fingers with Fitz’s. “You’ll get plenty of time to say goodbye later. I won’t. Take care of the rest of the crew, and tell Bangs Boy his hair isn’t that bad, but it will never be greater than mine. Tell your mom that she’s the best.” Keefe paused and squeezed Fitz’s hand tighter as the pain intensified.

“I will,” Fitz promised. “And I forgive you.”

“Love you, Fitzy,” Keefe rasped.

“I love you too, Keefe,” Fitz cried. “Just stay strong for me now.”

“I’ll try. Can we play a game, to distract me from the pain?”

Fitz sniffed and nodded. “We’ll recite the stars in alphabetical order, back and forth. Achromian.”

“Alabestrine.”

“Amaranthis.”

“Aquello.”

“Argento.”

“Auriferria.”

“Azulejo.”

Silence.

“Candesia, Keefe, it’s Candesia.”

Keefe’s chest wasn’t moving.

Fitz started performing CPR, careful not to touch his wound. “CANDESIA! SAY CANDESIA!” Fitz pinched Keefe’s nose, tilted his head back, and gave two full breaths. Nothing.

Fitz shook Keefe’s shoulders, but slowly sank to rest his head on his friend’s bloody chest. “It’s okay Keefe. You’re sleeping with the stars now.”

Ro put up a hand to cover her mouth, but she had to leave the room. Grizel knew she couldn’t peel Fitz away from Keefe and stayed outside, letting them have those last few moments together. Elwin finally arrived, though he surely knew there was nothing he could do. He was too late.

Strangers

TITLE: strangers CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 2/? AUTHOR: hiddlemediddles ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine being a psychologist set to question Loki during his incarceration in Stark Tower. Initially, he scoffs at the prospect of a ‘psychological examination’. However, Loki grows quite attached to you and complies to each and every programme you have in store for him. RATING: MATURE NOTES/WARNINGS: Apologies for that last wonderful cliffhanger. Now I can’t give you Loki on a plate can I? Hmm.. but now I can.. hehe. In terms of his appearance, I was envisioning what he looked like in the prison scene in Thor: The Dark World when Thor asks him to help him get revenge for Frigga’s death against the dark elves. I initially thought of the infamous black suit, but I think that wonderful specimen can wait for now.. x As for the interviews between them, I have no real knowledge of counselling/psychology other than what I’ve experienced myself on the other end so please excuse my ignorance if you have knowledge in these fields. I welcome ALL criticism so throw it at me in full force! Right.. on to the show.. lots of juicy dialogue.. x - Once the doors opened, you stepped out into the cold room. It resembled a garage more than anything. The kind you would explore in your youth, looking around at your father’s tools and whatever junk you could play around with. This time, you would be playing with a certain.. person. Loki. Heels had been on the menu. The black stilettos clicked against the metal flooring. When you looked up, you were faced with your client, Loki. Whether it was the glass magnifying him or if it was really his physique, he looked huge. He wore a loose green shirt with a V neck and black trousers. He wore shoes, but they looked more like socks. Your eyes raised to see his face.

As you had predicted, he was sneering down at you arrogantly. A raise of the right side of his lip in bemusement. As though this whole situation were sport. His eyes were dancing with curiosity, or perhaps you misread it. It was probably some desire to skin you alive for even venturing forth into his presence. Either way, they were wide and alert. His hair was something else. Combed back, slick and very, very dark. Your feet clicked along towards the chair. You stood beside it, levelling the atmosphere. The feel of the situation. You expected to feel threatened, but the calm arrogance of the man seemed to calm you. Simply because calm arrogance in men was something you were accustomed to. “Loki. Nice to meet you, I’m Robin Croft. I specialise in clinical psychology and counselling.” You said. Loki was silent. His eyes were flickering along your face. They didn’t stoop any lower to examine your attire. The black suit that you yourself were wearing. You expected his eyes to go languidly along your body, just as every arrogant man seemed to do when they were faced with a woman. A tactic used to demean that woman into feeling self-conscious about her body. A tactic you yourself had learnt to swiftly ignore. If they wanted to look, then look. You would look back. “I’m going to be as plain as possible with you, Loki. I’m here to.. how shall we say it? Rehabilitate you? Whatever way you prefer to see it. In other words, I’m here to coax out what’s going on with you.” Loki remained silent. You had expected this. An unwillingness to cooperate. He simply stared at you emptily through the glass. His eyes remained trained on yours, not venturing anywhere else. You detected the twitches in his face as the silence went on. In your experience, you knew they always cracked. Arrogant men had an insatiable habit of talking. They couldn’t stop talking even if the world was crumbling beneath their feet. They couldn’t bear being silent. “Please, sit.” Loki said, bowing his head slightly. He extended his arm towards the chair. “I would pull the chair myself, but as you see there is a rather infuriating hindrance.” “Thank you.” You said before you sat down. These niceties were always close to driving you mad. You always yearned to get to the point. “You have been informed of what I am capable of doing, Miss. Croft. Or.. Mrs. Croft. Forgive me.” Loki said. “Miss. Croft. Yes, I have, Loki. Does that make you feel uncomfortable? That I am aware of those things?” “Nothing other than how it alters one’s perception of another person. Being aware of someone’s past twists and warps the mind into believing it is their present. I should think it would make.. you.. uncomfortable.” “I see. You feel as though those actions are no longer your present?” “I wouldn’t murder anyone, no. You didn’t respond to my suggestion.” “Sorry?” “That it would make you uncomfortable. That I have murdered. That I attempted to take over Earth with an army.” “Do perceptions matter to you?” Loki was ruffled. “Not particularly. Only, if we are to become.. acquainted, let’s say.. I would rather be viewed transparently. Not through the lens of a mortal who is quivering with fear.” “Nothing to worry about, Loki. Entire transparency.” “I find that hard to believe. You read it all and didn’t fear me. You don’t fear me now?” Loki’s voice deepened. “No. I don’t fear you. I think you fear yourself more than anything. What you are capable of doing frightens you. That is why you need to be.. guided.” “All mortals fear me. You are no exception, Miss. Croft. I could break out of this cage and murder you in cold blood.” Loki smirked. “And would you do that, Loki? If that glass disappeared, would you want to kill me?” “No.” Loki smiled and finally sat down on his own chair in the centre of the cage. “Despite the fact that the tesseract is still rife in my immune system, I don’t feel bloodthirsty.” “I want to say a few names to you and I want you to tell me the first thing that pops into your head.” “Not this shit.” Loki sighed. “Tesseract.” You said. “Controlling.” “Avengers.” “Tedious children.” “Thor.” “Irritating fat oaf.” “Thanos.” “Bastard in purple.” “Frigga.” Loki stopped. It would get progressively harder, but you knew you had thrown him at the deep end with that one. No more fun and games. Thought provoking. Powerful. Loki’s eyes widened. You weren’t sure whether it was rage or if he was rising to the challenge. You hoped sincerely that it was the latter. “Mother. My mother.” he said. There was resentment in his voice. You wondered what Thor was thinking on the other side of the CCTV camera. You were certain that he would be listening in. “Odin.” “Corrupt.” Loki sneered. You would finish with one which you hoped would make him think even more. “Loki.” “Yes?” he narrowed his eyes. “That was the last one. Loki.” The look of confusion which descended over face suddenly warped into amusement. Intense amusement which laced his features, his eyes. His lips raised, waiting to “Wonderfully beguiling, handsome and incredibly sexy. Wouldn’t you agree?” You almost struggled to keep a straight face. “How did you feel.. doing that?” “Irritated. I find those activities incredibly mind numbing. I think it would be in your best interests to omit them from your little programme for me.” “As you wish, Loki. I thought it would make you.. think. Think about those around you and your current situation.” “The last one only succeeded in giving me an ego boost.” Loki smirked. “As for the one concerning Thor, I suppose he’s raging somewhere in the background. I know they’re watching me. All of them. I am no fool, Miss. Croft.” “And that angers you?” Loki chuckled. “No. It amuses me. They want me to be insane so they know what to work with. But, as I am not, they don’t know what to do with me. So they imprisoned me instead. Very curious, you mortals.” “Do you think you have a mental condition? Even prior to the tesseract’s hold on you?” You watched as Loki’s eyes narrowed in on your soul. Another couple of feathers ruffled. You suspected that you would be ruffling many more. “Yes. In fact, I do. I am obsessed with control. With power. I yearn to rule, I yearn to subjugate. To take hold of an empire and have people follow me. I have been wired by Odin to want that and it is all I have ever known. Only to be dashed from under my nose.” You listened in silent awe. “Have you had that in any other aspect of your life? In your relationships with other people? That need for power?” Loki’s eyes twinkled. “Relinquishing control is not in my nature. I feel it in all aspects of my life. For example, I enjoy controlling the power dynamics during sexual encounters.” You hoped you weren’t blushing at this candid revelation. Loki’s attention became more attuned to your cheeks and facial reactions. He yearned to see something. A blush, a lowering of the eyes. Nothing came. You didn’t even break eye contact with him. Calm acceptance. Loki was nothing short of impressed. “You blame your father for your need for power?” “If we are to continue with this.. rendezvous.. we are to refer to Odin as that. Odin. He is not my father, nor will he ever be my father.” “And Thor? May I refer to him as your brother and Frigga as your mother?” Loki visibly stiffened and his voice became dangerously low. “Refer to them by their names, Miss. Croft.” “You blame Odin for your need for power?” Loki raised his brow. The man was very pale, particularly from the after effects of this magical stone tesseract thing. His hair seemed blacker and blacker from how pale he was. And.. there it was. The sharp jaw. Your weakness for that sharp jaw. You raised your eyes to his once more to divert your attention from it. You would leave the sharp jaw for the fictional characters. “Yes, I do. He raised me to be a king and a king I will be. When you become so brainwashed with something, you know no different.” “I don’t know. It seems you know that you’ve been brainwashed, Loki. Besides, kingship and dictatorship isn’t as lavish as you might think. It never works out for mortals and I shouldn’t think it works for any conscious creature.” Loki grinned. “But don’t you like being in control? Being in power? Isn’t it so.. fulfilling? Having complete authority over all that stand before you.” “Too much responsibility. Besides, real power and control are impossible to attain.” “What?” You didn’t want to stray from your psychological examination of him, but it seemed like a good opportunity to teach this power hungry man a lesson or two about life. “You can’t possibly hope to be in real power. Real power means exercising people like you’re a puppet master moving each limb of your puppets. Their every move, thought and act. Controlling people is also impossible. Being top dog doesn’t achieve anything. Your desire to be ‘in power’ will only end in an endless cycle. You’ll want more and more power, you’ll never be fulfilled. Never satisfied. Always chasing for something so abstract as power that the word contains no meaning anymore. Isn’t that terrifying?” Loki listened to your words with a spark he had not felt in the many years he had cumbered this universe. Finally, he thought, some sense in this chaos. “And how would you know that, Miss. Croft? Who taught you this knowledge?” “Books make you think. About power, especially. A book called '1984’ by George Orwell. A classic, probably not a classic from where you come from.” Loki smirked arrogantly. “Mortal fiction is inferior from where I come from. The Asgardian psyche seems to be.. if these people have such short existences, what can they possibly have to offer to the universe?” There was a very calculated silence. You could almost hear Nick Fury and the rest of SHIELD laughing behind the camera. You betrayed nothing. “You want to be in control, Loki. Control makes you happy. Now, tell me what you desire the most. Your ideal situation in this universe. A situation you believe will make you happy and fulfilled.” “Just a simple life, really, Miss. Croft. Ruler of Asgard with a Queen by my side, perhaps a few children running around and a hell of a lot of mischief. I just want to bring order to the galaxy. Isn’t that what we all want? To be a hero? To save the world?” “And you believe that by giving Thanos the tesseract he would give you that desire? And you would be happy?” Loki glowered. A frown was forming on his face. His features tensed. “He is more powerful than any of those idiot spies could ever imagine. His ascendancy is inevitable. He’s rising to power, I might as well jump at the chance at salvaging Asgard and be a king in his new empire.” “You want what Thanos wants?” “I want what Thanos can give me.” Loki said, his voice edging closer to irritation. “You think happiness can be given. You are also convinced that this Thanos would keep to his word. I’m sure you, being a trickster god, can see beyond that.” Loki grinned. “You are right, Miss. Croft. Excellent observation skills. How would you like your prize?” You sensed the anger beginning to rise. This was the perfect opportunity to close the session. “I hope you found that somewhat helpful, Loki. Thinking about all of these things are difficult, but it has to be done. I didn’t want to throw you at the deep end, but you seem capable of weathering those storms. How about I return again next week?” The expected grin came. “A pleasure having made your acquaintance, Miss. Croft. You fill my time in this cage wonderfully. I will eagerly await your return.” x

#5 Everyone’s got their own soft spot

Things have got quite complicated... If you want to know how, check it here: #1 #2 #3 #4

I kept shouting his name, but he ignored me. His silver Aston Martin DB10 has quickly disappeared. Great, I thought. I am soaking wet... And Bond seems to know my deepest, darkest secret. This is even worse than being out of active service.

I went up the stairs to my apartment. It turned out that I had difficulties with putting the key into the keyhole as my hands were shaking. I didn't know what I wanted to do, I didn't know anything, I was so overwhelmed. I just dreamed of taking a *really* long bath. A bath so long that it would take a week, and no one could disturb me... But before I took my wet clothes off, I searched my bag, looking for my phone. I checked on Amanda.

“Hello, this is Amanda Clarke speaking.”

It was the first time I've heard her real surname.

“Amanda, it's me, Katherine,” I uttered, feeling that my body was still shaking. Somehow I managed to keep my voice sweet. “It's good to hear you... Is everything alright? You didn't want to talk to me earlier.”

For a while there was no response.

“Yeah... I'm sorry, Kath,” she said like a person who doesn't have any hope left. “I'm really sorry I ruined everything.”

It was simply painful to hear that defeated tone.

“Hey, Amanda, you did ruin nothing. I asked how do *you* feel?”

There was a long moment of silence again.

“Honestly... I don't know anymore,” said Amanda, and then began to cry. “It was a-all my fault! I-I ruin-ned our mission and n-n-now... the whole se-e-ection is endange-e-red... it's-s... a nightmare,” she sobbed. “E-even M didn't spe-eak to me f-f-for long... H-he wa-anted me ou-ut of the-e office as soon a-as we e-e-entered...”

“Listen, it's not that,” I replied. “Surely he was angry, but believe me, not as angry as he could have been... I assume he just didn't expect us to get in trouble,” I kept wandering around my apartment, talking to Amanda as if I wanted to convince both her and myself that nothing serious has happened. “M will get over it soon. He knows the nature of our job. Just give him time,” I added in a single breath.

“T-t-thanks, Kath... it m-mea-ans a lot... and how-w are-e you...?”

I stopped in front of a mirror that was hanging on the wall next to my bedroom’s door. Hair: wet. Clothes: wet. Mood: would punch anyone who'd be standing near.

“Fine,” I sighed, “apart from the fact I just had an argument with Bond.”

“Wh-hat happene-ed??”

As soon as I realized what I've just confessed, I regretted it. From now on I had to be more cautious. No one could know the truth... or perhaps one person could, but definitely not one of the double-0s. And apart from that, Amanda’s got bigger problems on her mind than some pathetic life stories.

“Nevermind... You wouldn't believe me anyway... just some spy stuff.”

...

I took a long bath as I had planned, then changed into my pyjamas and went to bed. I felt like doing absolutely nothing, but there was one thing I couldn't take off my mind.

Despite being pretty angry at him, I tried to call Bond three times. And guess what, every single time my call went to voicemail. I quickly gave up and sent him a message instead:

James, I know you're upset, but we have to talk. I hope you’ll meet me when you're back... please take care of yourself.

KT

I looked at my phone once again (just to make sure that I have sent the message), and felt that my eyelids began to close...

...

I woke up early the next day, even though I did not set the alarm clock. Perfect, I thought just after I have woken up, I don’t have to hurry. It’s going to be a long day and I have plenty of time to prepare myself for it.

I looked at my phone to check if Bond has answered me. As there were still no new messages, I had only one option left: the smart-blood programme.

Hi Q, it’s Kath. Has James landed in Maldives already?

There was a response within a minute.

Hello Kath. I’m sorry, but I promised James that I’d not tell anyone except M. Hope you’ll have a good day.

I glanced over the message a couple of times in disbelief. Mr. Bond pretends not to care anymore... Bastard, I said to myself as I went to the bathroom.

The fact I got suspended from any field operations, didn't necessarily mean that I didn’t have to show up at the MI6 Headquarters - there was plenty of paper work, waiting there for me and Amanda... M didn’t give us any days off (unlike he did with other double-0s), and it felt like a punishment... A punishment we deserved without a doubt.

I wanted to look elegantly that day. Not only because I needed to improve my mood after recent events, but also because of my meeting with Eve. I always liked to dress-up for the meetings with my friends. I was really looking forward to our dinner, as I missed her dearly when I was in Switzerland. And, what is more, it was her whom I wanted to tell everything about my disagreement with Bond.

There was this gossip spreading in the double-0 section that Eve was head over heels in love with Bond, but I didn’t quite believe it. When we all met on my first day after promotion, I got an impression that from the whole double-0 section it was Bond himself who was most convinced of the rumours' genuineness. He assumed that Moneypenny had a huge crush on him, but Eve didn’t seem too worried about Bond taking me on a date. She didn’t try to interrupt him when he was talking to me, and, what is more, she didn’t even seem interested in our conversation. Maybe Eve was a good actress after all, but my instincts told me something weird was going on there.

I have chosen one of my least favourite suits - a bottle green one (I was never a big fan of that colour, but I guess I’ve changed my mind a bit after realizing *someone’s eyes* were green...) - and a white shirt. Simple, but not too classic. Ideal to make a statement, I thought as I took the last sip of my morning cup of Earl Grey.

...

Both me and Amanda were quite busy with all the paper work we had to do that morning, but we didn't complain. We obediently accepted the "punishment", even though it took its toll... After a few hours of intense work, I decided to take Eve for lunch as I had promised her the day before.

I went through the long corridor on the last floor that led to M’s office. It was a lovely, sunny morning and the walls were *radiant* because of the sunshine that was coming through the windows. Even the colour of the door at the end of the corridor appeared to be a bit more brighter that day.

When I came in, M was standing next to Moneypenny’s desk. He was holding a few pieces of paper, probably some important documents, and it looked like he was telling her a story. M stopped talking, and they both looked in my direction. Eve was a bit astonished, but Mallory smiled at me mildly, almost imperceptibly.

“Good morning, sir,” I said, feeling both uncomfortable and excited to have met Mallory unexpectedly. “Hi, Eve.”

“Morning, 002,” replied Mallory. “Did you come here to see me or Miss Moneypenny?”

His voice sounded warm and gentlemanly. I could tell he was in a good mood.

“I came to see Eve, sir. Forgive me, if I’m intruding, I can come back later...”

“No, it’s fine. Miss Moneypenny can take some time off,” he looked at her, and then at his watch. “It’s time for lunch after all.”

“Thank you, sir,” said Eve, then stood up and walked around her desk. "Hi, Katherine," she added, touching my right arm.

M gave us a glance and put his hand on the doorknob. He was just about to go inside his office.

“Oh, sir,” I said shyly, but loud enough for him to notice. “I actually wanted to ask you something...”

“Yes, 002?” he responded as he turned his head towards me.

Damn, today he’s more hot than ever, I thought. He was wearing a very dark (definitely not black) suit, and one of his blue shirts, but I couldn’t take my eyes off his hair. It looked a little different than usual as Mallory was standing in front of the room's window. The sunlight highlighted his receding hairline and made me focus on the colour of his hair. His magnetic green eyes were observing my face, while he was waiting to hear my question. It was a wonderful moment. I wanted it to last forever.

“Katherine, I’ll wait for you outside,” announced Eve and left us alone.

I followed her with my eyes and then looked directly at Mallory. So hot... if only I could... Damn, Kath! Stop it. Don’t forget that he is your supervisor. And you’ve got a question to ask.

“Sir... has 007 reported to you already? Has he landed in Maldives safely?”

Mallory raised his right eyebrow. The questions surprised him.

“No,” he said calmly, “not yet, but I’m sure he’ll do that soon.”

He glanced at me suspiciously.

“Are you really *that* worried about him?” he asked in his most kind manner, putting the documents on Eve’s desk. Then he leaned against the wall next to the door to his office.

“No, sir,” I lied. “But we had an argument yesterday and I wanted to make sure he’s alright.”

“And do you think I know if Bond’s alright better than the man himself? Try to contact him.”

“I tried many times, sir,” I blurted, “but he ignores me... it seems like he has disappeared...”

Mallory was still very polite, but acted indifferent.

“It’s the fate of glass to break... well maybe it’s the fate of spies to just disappear,” he said slowly.

“Perhaps, sir, but he was really furious...”

At first, Mallory seemed like he really tried to understand my point of view. But I was dead sure he wouldn’t agree with me. He looked through the window and sighed while I was still explaining my concerns. The light hit Mallory’s eyes. He interrupted me, sounding semi-friendly.

“002, please behave like a professional,” Mallory instructed me in his deep, dry voice, as he picked up the documents from the table. “Private business between you and Bond is not a concern of mine. Save your energy for your main objective for today. There's plenty of paper work to deal with.”

Harsh. He went from being understanding to uncompromising very quickly. I looked down and blushed.

"I promise we’ll get the work done, sir.”

I noticed him smile as I lifted up my face to meet his eyes.

“Bond will be fine. Don’t worry,” said Mallory dryly. “Is that all...?”

“Yes, sir. Thank you.”

“See you later then, 002. And please remember your lunch with Miss Moneypenny shouldn’t take longer than half an hour.”

...

I agreed to meet Eve outside the MI6 Headquarters, so I took the elevator and went the way down. I couldn’t stop to think about Mallory... I’ve been analyzing the way he spoke to me just a few minutes ago. He sent me a lot of mixed signals. At first he was so understanding, and then he just *had* to remind me of my professionalism... Clearly he wasn’t satisfied with some private stuff going on between me and Bond. And I don't blame M - I can’t imagine myself as the Head of MI6 who has to deal with some conflict, or worse - romance, between my two double-0s...

I went outside and saw Eve, who was wearing a checkered coat and looking more adorable than ever.

“I’m sorry, Eve, I just *had* to talk to M for a while,” I said, being ashamed of myself that I made her wait for me.

“Please, don’t apologize, Kath,” she replied as she took my arm. “Now I’ve got you all for myself. Let’s go!”

“Now we look like a proper couple!” I said, as I turned my head to her and we burst into laughter.

...

We didn’t have unlimited time for our dinner, so we stopped at an Italian restaurant just around the corner. We could have eaten together in one of the cafes in the MI6 building, but we didn’t want to. It was safer to go somewhere more private. Obviously, leaving the SIS building couldn’t guarantee not being eavesdropped by one of your colleagues, but without a doubt it reduced the probability.

“So, Eve, how are you?” I asked, just after we both ordered our meals. “How was the life in the MI6 recently? Tell me everything.”

“Oh, it was nothing special. All the fun has gone together with you!” Eve giggled. “I had a lot of paper work to do, as usual, because nearly the whole double-0 section was away... and Bond kept coming to me and repeatedly asked about your reports to M...” she rested her left hand on the table and placed her head on the hand. “Of course I didn’t inform him of anything. He was convinced that I was aware of the content of the reports, but it’s not true. All the reports always go directly to M. And M forbids me from reading them. I'm sure Bond knows that as a double-0...”

She paused for a moment when the waiter came to our table with her glass of still water.

“And M... he has been quite nervous since you and Amanda left for Geneva...”

She gave me a glance and took a sip from her glass.

“... I don't know why, but he has been kind of irritated all the time,” she continued, looking directly at me. “And it all culminated when the Chief of the Swiss intelligence informed him of the planned kidnapping. It seemed like he was very concerned about that mission. He reacted immediately..."

“Yeah, I noticed his immediate reaction," I laughed, looking at the table. "You probably shouldn’t be telling me that.”

“Yeah, I shouldn’t,” added Eve. “But when you work with him every day...” she hesitated, “... you get a bit tired. It's not because of him, but rather all the stuff that is always going on... It can be really stressful sometimes, and after a few intense weeks in a row you feel exhausted... I have *no idea* how M is still capable of leading this whole organization... those emotions can drive you *crazy* if you let them... at the end of the day you have to vent to someone.”

"I get it," I replied, scratching my right hand. "You can vent to me whenever you feel like venting. I wouldn't want you to go crazy."

"Thanks, Kath. It feels good to know someone cares for your own sanity.”

The waiter came again, this time bringing our dinner.

“Speaking of M,” I trembled, “there is something I *have* to tell you.”

"I'm all ears."

“I know that... we don’t know each other for long, but... you’re the only one I trust with this...”

And I told her *everything*. How I left the double-0 section meeting with Bond, how he confessed his feelings for me, and how he accused me of having a crush on M.

"So, what's your opinion on this?” I asked when I finished the story.

“It’s no big deal,” said Eve. “Everyone’s got their own soft spot.”

“I do not follow you.”

“Oh, Katherine,” she replied. “It’s obvious. You’re Bond’s soft spot. And... it seems like M’s yours.”

I looked her straight in the eye, but quickly moved my sight to the flowers in a little vase that was standing on our table. Eve continued to talk.

“Yeah, I remember exactly what you’ve told me *that* day: ‘I’m not interested in men at my age’... And the look on your face when you left his office... I could tell there was something more in your eyes than just the excitement before the mission. Something more... private,” said Eve, looking at my shocked face. “Then this Christmas present.... and Bond’s jealousy. It all fits together.”

She left me speechless for a while.

“I just... I just hope it’s not too obvious...”

“I have no idea, Kath. But perhaps Bond noticed your behaviour because he’s interested in you,” she speculated. “Do you think he really had his reasons to figure it all out?"

“I’m not sure... but probably yes,” I confessed with a worried look on my face. “I told him how M let me chose my double-0 number, how he reacted to the present... Do you think for Bond it was enough?”

“Judging by the way you stared at M earlier today, I think it might have been enough.”

“Hey, I wasn’t staring at him...”

Eve smirked and started to shake her head.

“Right...” I said. “Thanks for being honest with me, Eve.”

I felt really embarrassed.

“Do you think it’s wrong?” I asked, sounding pretty concerned about my romantic feelings.

“Wrong? There’s always some excitement associated with a love triangle!” quipped Eve.

“No, Eve... I’m serious,” I insisted, while looking at the other tables, making sure no one observed us. Even though we were at some random restaurant, I was scared that there might have been someone from the SIS. “Is... is it wrong that I fell for M?”

She smiled at me mildly.

“No. It’s not wrong,” she assured me. “But you'll have to be very careful with what you do about it. Anything you do right now might make things very much complicated.”

...

After the dinner we came back to the MI6 Headquarters, as we both had a lot to deal with. We said goodbye in the main corridor. Eve left for M’s office and I left for the paper work.

“Thanks so much for listening to me, Eve. I just... I just hope that talking about Bond didn’t bother you...”

“No, it’s perfectly fine. You were right to assume it’s just a stupid rumour.”

“It is?”

“Yeah,” said Eve. “It used to be true, but it’s not true anymore... I have to go, Kath. I’m already three minutes late and M’s going to kill me!” exclaimed Eve, and then gave me a hug. “And don’t worry much. We’ll come up with the solution.”

“Thank you, Eve. You’re the best,” I replied, as I placed my head on her shoulder and returned the hug. I closed my eyes for a moment.

“Miss Moneypenny,” said a male, stern voice, “would you mind coming back to work?”

I opened my eyes and saw Mallory who has just appeared in front of me out of nowhere.

“I’m s-s-sorry, sir... I’m coming,” said Eve quietly.

Mallory didn’t reply and they headed towards the elevator. I watched them until the elevator’s door have closed.

Eve’s such a great person, I thought. What a relief... I’ve told her everything and now I feel a lot better. But should I feel any better...? I’m in the middle of some stupid love triangle and there is nothing to be proud of. It’s not even a triangle since it’s only Bond who is interested in me.

How is it possible what whenever Bond leaves, I miss him dearly, but when he is close I can’t think of anyone else but Mallory? And when I see Mallory I can barely think straight?

Time to get back to work.

***

To be continued.

Can I request something for mean daddy Roman? He went with you while you were helping Peter pick clothes for a date and He's mad because you called Peter cute even though it was a platonic gesture.

(A/N): Hello there, lovely!

I just… had a small heartattack once I read this ask, because… BITCH MEAN JEALOUS DADDY! ROMAN IS MY THING (I hate jealous boys, like if I ever ended up with a possessive boy… boy bye, but I can make an exception for Roman, he is my.. exception, excuse me while i cry because… he isn’t real).

(Santa Claus can I get him in my stocking? You can save on the clothes).

But seriously, thank you sweetie and sorry for taking so long (I also changed it a bit, because I had an idea for it, I hope you won’t mind, but if you do mind it, let me know and I’ll rewrite the ask!).

WARNINGS: Daddy! Roman (Slight Mention of DDLG relationship/Dom-Sub Dynamic), Choking and Slapping, Oral Sex (Male Receiving), Unprotected (Mirror) Sex (please stay safe… get those condoms and don’t pop children and STDs!), Rougher Than Usual.

Your relationship with Peter, unlike the one you had held with Roman, went back on older grounds.

When he had first come in town, you had been one of his first friends, mostly because you came from the same social class, hence you had many more things in common with him than with Roman, who you low key hated not only for the arrogance he constantly showed, but also because your father had been unemployed from the White House.

You had also slowly matured a crush towards Peter, although you were well-aware (or at least you were now) that you would never have a chance, as long as Letha was around.

Still you had managed, back in the time, to go on a date with Peter…

… for which you had been stood up for Letha.

You still remembered trying to call Peter, the phone finally him picking up just to release tiny and breathy moans and you had just ended the call rather quickly, waiting, in an extremely ‘emo’ way (you had to admit it) outside your house, meanwhile it poured rain outside.

And in that atmosphere, you had spotted Roman, looking around dazed and confused.

By that time, your relationship with the Godfrey brat had grown closer, although you would keep on using a façade of sarcasm and irritation, whenever you had to talk with him.

But you hadn’t been simply able to actually let him just drench himself.

You had rushed into the rain, well aware that you were also getting pretty drenched, pushing the boy for his shirt inside your house.

‘What the fuck were you doing here, idiot?’ you had asked, meanwhile you had disrobed quickly the catatonic Roman, who just looked like he had gone through some pretty rather heavy shit and made you question whether the coke had (finally) gone to his head.

“… I… Letha… Peter…” he mumbled, although his eyes wouldn’t still focus and didn’t follow the movements of your fingers, making you actually wonder if the hospital should be involved, but chose to avoid it because there was a light shade of sadness in Roman’s eyes, that couldn’t be cured with any medicine.

‘They kind of fucked us over’ you mumbled, pushing a rather fluffy towel through Roman’s hair, meanwhile he just pushed his head onto your chest, kind of trying to get comforted “What if we screw them over’

That phrase got something to act into Roman’s face, and before you knew it, he had gotten himself out of his catatonic state, looking up at you, a new emotion in his beautiful changing eyes: attraction.

Chills went down your spine, but they weren’t unpleasant, and you hadn’t felt anything like that since ever…

… and maybe it was the burning rejection you had received by Peter and the slight brewing attraction you had started feeling towards Roman, definitely something to do with the duality of hate and love.

You ended up in bed together that night and that had started a long story of hook-ups which benefitted you and Roman.

But you were pretty sure that simple ‘hook-ups’ didn’t stay in each other’s bed even the morning and that they got breakfast in there (you usually did it, since Roman would just collect something that could be eaten on the go or get some maid or butler to get something for you both).

After Letha’s death and Peter’s disappearing (with whom you had stayed as a friend, even through he teased you about your ‘relationship’ with Roman, saying ‘it wouldn’t last the summer’) you had been the only one who had stood there for Roman and even though he had pushed and pulled onto the link you had together… you had eventually grown into a semi-healthy relationship.

It wasn’t sex anymore, but Roman still hadn’t said those three words.

Not that you were expecting it to happen, mostly when he would look at you like the entire world for him ended and began with you and Nadia.

Your friendship with Peter had, also, resisted the distance and, although Roman hadn’t been happy of his return in city (you knew all too well that he didn’t know how to feel about Peter possibly meeting Nadia), you had immediately welcomed him back with open arms.

What you didn’t understand and couldn’t know was Roman’s jealousy towards your friendship.

He had had a crush on you since the moment you had joined their group, although he hadn’t acted up onto it: you were the only girl who treated him like he was less than the shit under her sneakers and he couldn’t help but find you beautiful with your sweet determinations and concealed gentleness.

You had never seemed to want him.

He knew all too well of your past crush onto Peter and he couldn’t help but be jealous of the way your relationship had started and processed: it was lighthearted and gentle, soft and pretty full of laughs, meanwhile yours with Roman was heavy and many times it was more an off-relationship, than an actual one.

(It was his fault most of the time but…).

So, he didn’t like you hanging out with Peter, since his return.

‘He abandoned us when we fucking needed him, how can you forgive him so easily?’ he had snarked out at you at dinner the previous night, when you had suggested helping out Peter with his mother’s bail.

‘He had his own things to deal with…’ you had tried to reply, meanwhile you had raised your glass of red wine to your lips, barely able to wet them with it, before Roman stormed out of the dining room, screaming:

‘We fucking had our own things to deal with, too!’.

Still Roman’s bad mood hadn’t stopped you form trying to hang out with Peter, like that day, when you had taken him into one of the stores that sold Roman’s expensive suits, to get him one to wear in court for his mother’s case.

The clerks had been pretty amicable, although they had looked at you with a shred of suspect, and you had had to explain that the shaggy man beside you was a friend of your family, needing a suit for an important business event.

And when you had gotten out your own credit card they hadn’t spoken anymore, preferring to take Peter’s measurements than to actually discuss you, the futurde Mrs. Godfrey according to anyone.

You just sipped champagne, meanwhile you and Peter judge badly the uncomfortableness of each jacket, passing a rather entertaining evening, before you both went to different roads, you deciding to shop a bit more, meanwhile Peter went back to Destiny’s apartment, thanking you for the little break from the heavy life he was going through.

“Ahhh, Petie you are my best friend, you can always come to me when you need it” you said, meanwhile hugging him tightly, and he smirked in your shoulder.

“Won’t Roman be pissed?” he asked, jokingly, getting a rather unamused smirk from you.

“Since when do I let Roman boss me around?”.

That night you had come home rather early, sending home the entire staff, thinking that cooking might help you a bit, alongside wanting to cherish ‘the asshole of your life’, before you checked onto Nadia, who was sleeping peacefully and softly stirred in her sleep, just to cuddled into your hand.

When you were descending the stairs, you felt the door open and went to welcome your lover, just to be welcomed by a disgruntled expression and tight lips that didn’t speak for the entire dinner, something which made the entire experienced rather awkward, but you knew better than to confront Roman on his childish behavior.

Your day had been rather peaceful, and you didn’t want to ruin it because Roman had a ‘lover spat’ with Doctor Pryce.

You waited for him to talk to you, meanwhile you were getting ready with all your lotions and treatments, meanwhile Roman turned around, trying to focus his attention on a dossier he was examining, but his eyes kept shifting on you.

“My day was good, thank you for asking” you mumbled as you started brushing your hair, not trying to turn to face him “… I am glad to hear yours was nice, too, goodnight to also you, Roman”.

“My day wasn’t actually nice, and you know why?” Roman’s eyes were staring into you from the mirror “… because my pretty girlfriend, the only one for me, decided to ditch off with my ex-best friend, who I told her to avoid”.

“Since when are you the one who decides who I can hang out with?” you retorted, pushing your hair in a loose braid, perfect for sleeping, meanwhile you simply brushed a bit of your lavender oil onto your neck, since it always seemed to relax you “It isn’t like I do that with you”.

“Oh, then you will be ecstatic to know that I’ll invite Bella at lunch tomorrow”.

He knew exactly where to hit you, that vicious piece of shit.

It wasn’t a secret that you disliked his secretary Bella: she was a pretty thing, who didn’t mind flirting with Roman like he hadn’t a girlfriend and she was definitely different from Peter, who knew you were with Roman and wouldn’t try a move on you.

You just shut up, not wanting to fight with an obviously annoyed Roman till he knocked some sense in himself, but when you turned around to get to bed, you found him next to your mirror, looking at you so intensively that you knew this wouldn’t be over soon.

“… would you like if Bella came to lunch, with your daddy, little girl?” he pointed each words with such a tight tone that you knew exactly what he was doing, only heightened by the way he pushed his grip onto your chin to make you look up at him.

“You are a fucking moron” you spitted out, exiting the grip, and moving to turn around, but this time Roman reached out for your neck, gripping it softly, but firmly and you knew that your words had hit the mark.

“… such a bad word for such a little girl” he mumbled his tone having softened relatively but this didn’t mean it wasn’t threatening anymore “… maybe this is the reason why I like Bella more than you”.

You reached out a hand in the front of his pants, and although you knew you would be punished because he hadn’t given you the permission, you cupped his bulge through the loose sweatpants he went to sleep in.

“… could Bella make you feel so good, daddy?” you shot back, before your hands gripped him tighter, following the outline of the bulge with your palm, before you pushed yourself to lick a little strip over his pants “… could she, daddy?”.

Roman honestly looked like he was already losing your mind and you smirked at him.

But then Roman’s hold tightened, effectively stealing your breath and you already knew that there would be a light sign of his hand on your neck, tomorrow.

“Since when are you the one who asks questions, little whore?” he asked you, your eyes meeting perfectly “… are you this talkative with Peter?”.

“Why don’t you ask him?” you almost expected the slap hat followed your brattish comment.

It wasn’t mean to hurt you, it was more meant to sting your face to bring you to focus definitely onto Roman, who sent you a rather harsh look, although you realized that he was simply toying with you.

“Stop fucking talking back to me” he pointed out each word and made you back down into the mirror “… I wanted to be nice with you, but you don’t leave me no choice”.

And he pushed up your chin with his index and thumb, tilting it lightly up so that you could look at his face, and more importantly his disappointed eyes.

You didn’t talk, knowing that your little stunt had pushed you too far and had you tried to talk back more, it wouldn’t have gone to your favor.

Roman seemed to appreciate your control onto your biting lips, gently slipping a hand to caress your stinging face, before his finger gently traced the outline of your lips.

“This is better, but I think that you now need to earn your forgiveness, little one” he gently suggested, caressing your hair, meanwhile he used them to move you closer to his bulge till your face was smashed, almost uncomfortably against it “… what do you say, when this happens, sweetheart?”.

“I am sorry, daddy” you mumbled, meanwhile your hands went obediently behind your back, Roman smirking at that sight, meanwhile he eased his sweatpants, showing that he hadn’t worn his boxers and you soon were face to face with manhood “… let me make it up to you”.

Roman smirked and allowed himself into your mouth, letting you play your game with languid strokes of your tongue and your lips gently teasing him with kisses, but he had soon enough and he pushed you by the hair to choke onto his cock.

You had just the time to relax your throat before Roman set up a maddening pace and you were just able to cover your teeth with your lips, trying to gain some balance with your upper body, meanwhile Roman did his bidding, using in your mouth in a shameless way.

He pushed your head up so that your glossy eyes could meet his, smirking at you, pleasure coursing through him thanks to your expert gestures, and soon his eyes closed giving in to pleasure and much more violent thrusts, although the rhythm slowed, but it didn’t mean that you were allowed to breath more.

Roman didn’t warn you when he came, although you felt it as your mouth fell onto his balls, teasing them to get a breather from the ruthless rhythms of his hips, finding them tight and hard, and just the right amount of pressure onto his slit was enough for him to let go.

Your mouth was soon full of salty taste and some even dribbled out of your mouth as Roman relieved yourself of the heavy weight of his cock, still hard, although he had cum already.

He didn’t even bother to clean his seed from your lips, and just turned you around, making sure you were watching the mirror, as he slipped into you pushing the nightgown to your waist and pulling your panties to the side, some kind of animal urgency to have you, shining in his eyes.

It was a bit painful at first, although you were sinfully wet for having worshipped your lover on your knees, because of the sudden thrust Roman delved into you, hitting further than he usually did, wanting to leave a mark with the way he stretched you.

“Fucking tight like a little virgin…” he mumbled onto your ear, onto which he lowered, making you feel the unnatural coldness of his chest , his short hair lightly tickling your shoulder, meanwhile an hand came to your chest kneading roughly your breasts “… I am so fucking lucky to have a cunt like that… am I not, princess?”.

You just nodded, pleasure finally overcoming you, as Roman’s thrust became more settled and organized, hitting that point inside you, meanwhile his rough hands over the silky material of your expensive nightgown made thrills appear onto your back.

“… and aren’t you lucky to have a cock that fills you up so good” he shot back, pointing each word with a sharp thrust, making you almost bump into the mirror, hadn’t his hold onto your waist been that strong to stop you “… aren’t you, little one?”.

He obviously wanted an answer and hadn’t you been well aware that you had already broken every rules, you would have sassed him out, but some part of you honestly thought that you just couldn’t resist him anymore, mostly when he was doing it almost reassured his position in your life.

“Fucking lucky, daddy” you mumbled in high pitched moan, opening your eyes to the beautiful image of your bodies entwined together, your mouth opened in a moan of ecstasy, meanwhile Roman was looking darkly at your body and before you knew it…

… you were lost, in your own little climax, closing momentarily your eyes, till you felt suddenly Roman’s cold skin, completely against your back, making you both lose your balance, tumbling down off your mirror drawer, both of you laughing as soon as you realized the absurdity of the situation.

“We are too old for this” you mumbled, meanwhile he pushed himself out of you, making you moan softly, his semen exiting you and slightly coating both your stomach and legs.

“… absolutely” he retorted, helping you up, settling your body in a more comfortable position “…shit we certainly don’t have the energy anymore”.

You just sent him a look as if to say ‘you just had me suck you off and then fucked me onto my mirror drawer, so shut the fuck up, you old man, you fucking still got it’ and he simply smirked, gently wiping away some your mixed juices from your thighs, tasting it from his fingers.

You simply moaned due to your sensitivity and this unlocked something in him, finally realizing that he might have overreacted a bit, gently pushing you into his arms, meanwhile he laid you softly onto the bed, letting you out of your clothes, before he moved to collect something to clean you up.

And once he was done comforting and cleaning your body, peppering it jokingly and much more softly with kisses, he finally slipped you in your most comfortable pajamas.

When you were settled, he gently cuddled next to you, smirking softly and blowing a gentle kiss onto your forehead

“I am sorry for being jealous of Peter, it’s just…” you gently turned to him, bringing him in a soft kiss, the first of the night, before you grabbed with enough force his face to make him grimace.

“… just settle your problems with him” you mumbled, before your lips lingered over his, in a teasing matter that got him almost a kiss, before you turned around, smirking sassily “… goodnight, daddy!”