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girlofmanyfandoms · 4 years

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Too Little, Too Late

A/n: Yes, this is back to back. No, I am not sorry. I’ll make it up to y’all with a Della fic that I’m almost done with, I promise.

Trigger Warnings: Death, Mentions of violence

Word count: 1,669

Tag list: @everyonehasthoughts @imaramennoodle @bookwyrminspiration @holesinmyfalseconfidence @percabetn @an-absolute-travesty @linhammon-roll-bromance101 @linhamon-roll @ anyone who cares

Della unlocked the gates to Everglen, bringing Keefe into a side hug. “How’s my son doing?”

“I’m alright, just came here to check in.”

Della sighed, holding Keefe by the shoulders. “You know you can’t lie to me, right? I’ve got a mother’s instinct.”

He looked down in guilt, picking at the bottom of his tunic. “I just haven’t spoken to Fitz in a while, I need to clear some things up. Gosh, I’ve been a terrible friend. Probably don’t even qualify for ‘best friend.’”

“Honey, you’ve done nothing wrong.” Della held his chin up so they could make eye contact. “You are the reason Fitz is still going, the reason he made it through his earlier years at Foxfire. You can’t blame yourself for taking some time for yourself.”

“But it’s selfish an-“

“It’s not selfish, it’s normal. And it’s necessary. We love you here, Keefe. And we can all help each other.” Della glanced around to check that she wasn’t being watched. “There’s mallowmelt in the top right cabinet in the kitchen. Take some upstairs so you and Fitz can share.”

“Fitz didn’t make them, did he?”

“No, goodness no! The house would’ve collapsed if he even tried!”

They chuckled together, before coming back to reality.

“Thank you, Della, for everything,” Keefe said sincerely. “I wouldn’t be who I am today without you.”

“No need to thank me, we’re family now. Ever since we met you, we knew you had a good heart. It’s been a wild ride, seeing you grow up...” Della trailed off, but was brought back to focus by Keefe’s fidgeting. “Well, I shouldn’t keep you. Fitz is in his room.”

“Thanks.”

Della watched him walk up the flowery path to the door, sliding in as if it where his own home. Because it was. But not for long.

____________

Keefe knocked on the bedroom door. “Fitz, open up!”

“Leave me alone, Keefe.”

“C’mon Fitzy, don’t be like that.” When he received no response, he singsonged, “I have mallowmelt.”

An audible sigh came from the other side of the door as Fitz unlocked his door with a click. He blocked Keefe’s path. “Mallowmelt first, then we talk.”

“You got it, boss.” Keefe passed him the tray and plopped down on the floor. Fitz popped a piece in his mouth and sat down in front of Keefe, remaining within the borders of his room. They waited a while in silence before Keefe spoke up.

“Listen, I feel really bad for not being there for you, and I wanna fix it. So tell me, how have you really been? And don’t give the ‘I’m fine, just a little tired or angry’ lie. I want to be let back in, and I’m willing to change to do that.”

Fitz huffed, passing the tray so Keefe could have some mallowmelt as well. “Maybe I’m not ready to open up. To show my raw emotions.”

“And that’s fine too. I don’t expect you to forgive me right away like Sophie did. But I want to know what I can do to make it up to you. I want my best friend back.” Keefe’s voice cracked during the last sentence, but Fitz was kind enough, or perhaps oblivious enough, to not mention it.

“You can start by making up for lost time. You tell me what led to your recklessness, and maybe I’ll be more willing to listen to what you have to say.”

“I... just wanted to be the hero. I wanted to feel like I was worth something, you know? I mean, sure, other people have it worse, but I always felt so alone, being an only child, living in that tower with my parents. I never felt like I belonged, like I was loved, like I was worth anything. But I thought I could change that. So I tried to play my mother’s game, tried to get a step ahead and just like everything else, I messed up. That’s just how life is, right?” Keefe laughed bitterly and looked off to the side in an attempt to conceal a tear that slipped past his guard. But this time, Fitz noticed.

He reached out his arms instinctively, but hesitated. Was it weird to hug his best friend? Was it overstepping boundaries, or breaking “the code”? Keefe shifted uncomfortably, not sure what to do next. Screw it, Fitz decided. His friend needed him. Sliding the mallowmelt tray to the side, Fitz tackled him in a bear hug.

Keefe squeaked in surprise, but slowly and gently wrapped his arms around him. “Is there a particular reason for this?”

“Shut up and stop bottling your emotions,” Fitz murmured into his neck. He lifted his head up. “It’s okay to cry. I won’t think any less of you.”

Keefe hesitated, but one concerned glance from Fitz made him crumple. He wrapped his arms tighter around the boy’s neck, letting all of the pain, agony, and guilt turn to nothing but ghosts and echoes and fade away. Fitz rocked him back and forth, rubbing his back comfortingly.

“I’m sorry,” Fitz whispered. “I’m sorry for shutting you out, for forgetting what you’ve gone through. I could’ve - should’ve - been there. I’ll be there from now on. I promise.”

“You shouldn’t be the one apologizing, Vacker,” Keefe mumbled between hiccupy sobs. “I envied you, you know. I did what everyone else did to your family, and I didn’t realize just how wrong it was. How much you were hurting.”

“I’ll start to forgive you if you do the same for me. Deal?”

“Deal,” Keefe agreed, finally pulling away from the hug. His eyes were puffy and red, but he was smiling a real, genuine smile.

“Great, now get us some more mallowmelt, I need to put my throwing stars away.”

“Practicing without Grizel? I’m disappointed,” Keefe joked.

Fitz rolled his eyes. “She helped me set up this dummy in my room so I could practice if she was busy.”

The clashing of swords was heard from downstairs.

“See what I mean? Sandor probably came over to spar, which means Sophie’s probably with Biana, Fitz reasoned. “We can have a guy’s night if you want. But you have to be the snack man, I am not getting up.” Fitz turned his back to free the throwing stars.

“Yes, Mr. Vacker.” Keefe mimicked his accent. “But remember, if you don’t answer the first knock, I’ll-“

“You’ll what?” Silence. Fitz turned around. “Keefe, you’ll-“

Keefe slowly fell to the floor, folded over himself, his tunic stained with blood. Vespera stood over him, And, satisfied that he was done for, turned her attention to Fitz.

His vision clouded with red. Just moments before his friend was smiling, poking fun at him, just like the good old days. And now he was coughing up blood, half dead on his carpet. He hurled two throwing stars at Vespera, one cutting the side of her neck, the other embedding itself above her cold heart. She staggered back, regained her footing and prepared to attack, but Gisela pulled her aside. She glanced at her son, and Fitz could’ve sworn he saw a flash of pain cross her eyes.

“You weren’t supposed to go after him, you were supposed to get the Vackers,” Gisela scolded. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

“Your boy was in my way, and we need to go now,” Vespera spat. “I’m bleeding out.”

Grizel and Ro came barreling up the stairs, Grizel taking Gisela and Ro taking Vespera. Gisela grabbed Vespera’s arm and, breaking through a window, phase-shifted to freedom.

Grizel tried to check on Fitz, but he moved past her, holding Keefe in his lap. “I’ll have to move onto the next house,” Keefe finished softly, laughing before it turned into a coughing fit.

“Sh, don’t talk so much, it’ll make it worse.”

“That’s your way of telling me to shut up?”

Fitz brushed some of Keefe’s hair out of his face. “How can you joke at a time like this, Keefe?”

“It’s my specialty.” Keefe offered a weak smile. “You know Elwin won’t make it in time, right?”

“Don’t think like that.”

“It’s the truth, Fitz,” Keefe insisted, tearing brimming on the borders of his eyes. “But there’s some things I have to tell you before I go. I’m so grateful for you, and for everything you’ve done for me. You’re the best best friend I could ever get, and I’m sorry I hurt you. I forgive you, for not being there. But I’ll always be with you.”

Fitz didn’t bother trying to stop the tears. “Keefe, I-“

“I’m not done,” Keefe interrupted, interlocking his fingers with Fitz’s. “You’ll get plenty of time to say goodbye later. I won’t. Take care of the rest of the crew, and tell Bangs Boy his hair isn’t that bad, but it will never be greater than mine. Tell your mom that she’s the best.” Keefe paused and squeezed Fitz’s hand tighter as the pain intensified.

“I will,” Fitz promised. “And I forgive you.”

“Love you, Fitzy,” Keefe rasped.

“I love you too, Keefe,” Fitz cried. “Just stay strong for me now.”

“I’ll try. Can we play a game, to distract me from the pain?”

Fitz sniffed and nodded. “We’ll recite the stars in alphabetical order, back and forth. Achromian.”

“Alabestrine.”

“Amaranthis.”

“Aquello.”

“Argento.”

“Auriferria.”

“Azulejo.”

Silence.

“Candesia, Keefe, it’s Candesia.”

Keefe’s chest wasn’t moving.

Fitz started performing CPR, careful not to touch his wound. “CANDESIA! SAY CANDESIA!” Fitz pinched Keefe’s nose, tilted his head back, and gave two full breaths. Nothing.

Fitz shook Keefe’s shoulders, but slowly sank to rest his head on his friend’s bloody chest. “It’s okay Keefe. You’re sleeping with the stars now.”

Ro put up a hand to cover her mouth, but she had to leave the room. Grizel knew she couldn’t peel Fitz away from Keefe and stayed outside, letting them have those last few moments together. Elwin finally arrived, though he surely knew there was nothing he could do. He was too late.

#were they gay? Were they best friends who said “frick toxic masculinity”?#i’ll never tell #these are to make up for lack of writing #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #keefe sencen #fitz vacker #della vacker #kotlc gisela #kotlc vespera #Cade’s writing

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