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hannahssimblr · 20 hours

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In the hallway after school on Tuesday, as I head to my locker to retrieve my gear bag, I spot Miss O’Reilly. She is locking up the art room, and gives me a big smile as I approach her. She’s always doing that, smiling at me, I mean, and it throws me off. It's usually not the expression teachers have when they see me coming.

I smile awkwardly in return and she turns her body towards me, takes a step, prompting me to halt beside her instead of barrelling past her like I would have, not enthused about facing the wrath of Doherty if I hit the rugby pitch even one minute late.

“Jude! I've been meaning to congratulate you.”

“Um, for what?”

She laughs as though I’m being dense deliberately, “I spoke to Eileen, the guidance counsellor last Friday and she told me about your offers.”

“Oh, for college.”

“Yes! How wonderful. I’m just so pleased for you that everything worked out the way that you hoped it would, after all of the hard work you put in this last year it’s just fantastic to hear it. And tell me, did you get accepted to every college you applied for?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow,” she takes a big pause, taking it in, “wow. You must be delighted. How does it feel?”

“I dunno, miss.”

“Hard to get your head around, I’m sure. Your parents must be proud too.”

“Mm.”

She’s determined to ignore our mismatched attitudes towards this news, taking a big, jubilant breath before launching into more affirmations, “well, what a confirmation of your talent and skill. I had a really good feeling about your work when you came to my class last year, and I’m just so pleased that you got the results you wanted. Have you decided which college to choose yet?”

I shift my weight from one foot to the other, “yeah I’m choosing NCAD.”

“Oh!” I can tell she’s trying to maintain her upbeat attitude, but eyebrows slowly draw together in confusion, “I hadn’t realised you changed your plan. When we last spoke about it in March you told me you were looking forward to attending universities abroad.”

I shrug, “Yeah, I, um, I changed my mind in the end. I’m going to stay in Dublin.”

“Hm, okay, I just… Jude, do you mind if I ask you why?”

“Yeah, you can ask,” I say, and am instantly horrified by the tremor in my voice. I fight it back with a hard swallow, “It’s just, like… um,” Oh God. What is happening to me? I’m conscious of the crowds of students milling through the hallway right behind me, and of the fact that I categorically cannot do this here. “Sorry…”

“Oh, come in,” she says in a low voice, jangling the keys in the art room door with an urgency that feels entirely necessary, and when she lets me into the room ahead of her I stand dumbly in the middle of it as she fumbles with the blind over the glass doors, tingling jolts of anxiety running down my arms and through the tips of my fingers.

“What is it, sweetheart?” She says, and simply that, the word she uses and the way she uses it makes me want to crumple onto the linoleum floor in front of her.

“You’re alright, you’re just…” she purses her lips, searching for the word, “overwhelmed, I’d say. College and all of that kind of thing, it can get on top of you at this time of year. I know it’s a lot to think about.”

I manage a grunt of vague agreement.

Miss O’Reilly drags a folding chair from the side of the room, “C’mere, sit down there and we’ll have a quick chat about it.”

“Um, Mr. Doherty…” I say, and she understands, “Don’t mind him. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

She settles into a seat across from me, and gives me an encouraging smile. As I search for the words I want to say I’m cognizant of how comforting this woman is, how unfazed she is by me and whatever it is that is happening to me in this room. She has a daughter, I know that, a daughter who goes to our school and for a moment I’m jealous of her, that fourteen year old girl who gets to have a mother like this one, that is soft and comforting in all the places where mine is sharp and disinterested in me and every feeling I have ever experienced.

I’m not convinced that I even know how to talk about things like this, afraid that I will try to and come across like the weirdest, most unhinged person on the planet. My thoughts and feelings will be so nonsensical that they will make everyone around me cringe with discomfort. “I’m trying to do the right things,” I attempt, “but somehow the right things feel very wrong to me.”

“When you say ‘the right things’, Jude, do you mean you want to choose the right college?”

I nod.

“And why does NCAD seem like the right choice?”

“Because of my girlfriend.”

“Michelle?”

“Yeah. I didn’t know you knew that to be honest.” I never thought that teachers noticed or cared about things that weren’t arbitrary uniform rules and homework assignments, but evidently I was wrong.

She smiles kindly, “So Michelle is going to NCAD?”

“Yeah if she gets the points in her leaving. She applied for all the same colleges as me but got none and now I feel sort of... like I have to stay for her.”

“Is that the right decision for you?”

“I dunno, miss.”

She hums contemplatively, “I’m sure you’re tired of hearing this kind of thing, but it’s not always the best choice to base big life choices on your girlfriend when you’re only eighteen years old. Especially one as important as your university.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s never an easy choice to make. I really empathise with you here, because when you’re in love with a person, you-”

“I don’t even know if I love her.”

There’s a pause, she looks surprised, and so am I. I'm stunned that I told her that, this thought that I've never dared to utter before.

And then everything comes spilling out of me. “Look, it’s just that I feel very trapped,” I say, “Sometimes I think there’s something abnormal about my brain, because I make decisions that even I don’t understand, like with Michelle... when I think about us being together and our relationship I can hardly remember anything good that’s happened between us for a long time, the last fun thing we did or the last time I felt happy. I can’t even remember what I was thinking when we got together. I feel like I’m on autopilot, or like things are just happening to me without me having a hand in it.

“Somehow I’ve just, like, ended up here and I’m making plans with her and promising her things that I haven’t even decided if I want yet. I thought that I wanted to move away, but maybe I don’t anymore. Maybe it’s wrong of me to do that, because what if I go away and then I realise that what I actually wanted was to be with Michelle?”

I breathe in, knowing that I have probably been talking too much, but now I am unwilling to stop, “My parents, they’re fighting a lot at home. Something happened a few months ago and it's just been a battlefield ever since. I know that if I go away I’ll leave my sister alone to deal with all of it. She’s only nine, and the constant tension upsets her so much, she goes into a spin about it and starts fantasising about all of these awful scenarios, and see, my parents don’t know how to deal with her, they don’t really like it when kids act like kids. Or at least they’re not that interested in them– in her. I keep imagining this future where I’m gone, I’ve left home and I’m hundreds of miles away and she’s all on her own with them, and there’s nobody to really look after her because I can’t get home so easily, and when I think like that, even the thought of going away, even wanting it a little bit makes me feel like the most selfish boy on earth…”

Miss O’Reilly produces a tissue and holds it out to me. I stare at it for several seconds before I realise she is offering it because I have started to cry. My face is somehow wet with tears. “Oh,” I say, hoarsely and take it.

“Jude, you’re still a teenager.” She says gently, “You can’t possibly be responsible for the emotions of every other person around you. It’s too much.”

“Yeah.”

“When you’re young you have to make selfish decisions, ones meant for yourself and yourself only. Nobody else is going to make them for you. You have to really ask yourself what the right choice is for you, whether you’ll be able to be truly happy in your current circumstance where nothing may change or will you be better off on your own, doing something you love and experiencing real freedom in spite of how others may feel about it.”

I wipe my eyes and nod, staring down at my lap, still in a state of shame and disbelief that I have allowed myself to sob like this in front of my teacher, though if she is bothered she doesn’t show it.

“When you imagine your ideal life,” she urges, “where none of these things are a factor, not the things you promised to Michelle, not what's going on at home, what does it look like?”

“God,” I breathe, almost chuckling because the answer is so easy, “I’m gone. I’m not here. I’m just miles away and I’m making art and hanging out and doing what I like.” It sounds so simple when I say it out loud, yet for the longest time now I’ve felt like a criminal for wanting these things.

“And where do you see yourself?”

“Berlin,” I say, surprising myself. It’s not like I’ve put real time into thinking about this, visualised myself walking those streets, in fact I don’t even know what Berlin looks like, but it feels right to say it, as though there is some cosmic reason for me to go there. Perhaps only because it’s the furthest from home.

Miss O’Reilly nods, “NCAD is a fine college, Jude, but your talent is wasted in a place where you don’t want to be. You could do anything you want. You have incredible potential and I’d be very sad to see it wasted. Life passes you by very quickly, you know, and these kinds of opportunities don’t present themselves as often as you think. It may seem obvious, but you only have one life to live.”

“Yeah.”

“I can’t tell you what to do. I can’t make a decision for you, but all I want you to do is really think about this. Put a good amount of thought into what you really want when you remove everyone else from the equation, then, once you know, you can decide what's worth sacrificing. Do you think you can do that?”

“Yes, miss.”

“Good, then that's your homework,” She smiles and reaches to squeeze my hand, which I am embarrassed about because my skin is clammy, but just like everything else about this moment that is humiliating to me, it doesn't appear to faze her.

“Thank you,” I say, and she nods. “I hope you’re not in a hurry to get to your rugby practice.”

“No,” I sniff, and let out a thick laugh, “No miss, I think I’ll skip it today.”

“Good,” she says, “That’s a good start, see? Here you are, doing exactly as you wish.”

She smiles at me, once again, that bright, warm smile, and I give her one in return because maybe it's just me, my weird brain and the things it invents, but the feeling of hope that rises in me in that moment feels very real.

Beginning // Prev // Next

#lucky boy 2010 #that's the last of April!!#i'm so exicted to move on from this #and say goodbye to this cursed school

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buppypuppy · 6 months

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#vent post essay ahead lol #having complexes about talking about your emotions is literally the fucking devil . its miserable. it sucks so bad.#the aamount of damage that is caused to someone by like #i mean im talking abou t me here obviously.#being the person whose like. overall ultimately tends not to feel horrible as often is like.#it's nice not feeling bad emotionally all the time but also it's like. i develop this complex about being like able to help.#i don't feel bad anywhere near as often as my friends so i can help them out and listen to them vent i can have the mental room to #like listen to them talk about their problems. yeah. but it makes me feel like. well this is my job now so i shouldn't fucking talk about m #i shouldnt vent when i feel bad because that's not what i'm known for. plus my friends already all feel worse than me more often than me. s #i don't want to dump any more on their plate than they have to deal with. i don't want to burden them anymore than i have to. and like it's #it's hard. i hate fucking talking about it and it's made so much worse when its like people i love . always been a fucking problem becaus #i just feel fucking horrible admitting that i feel bad i hate that so much. i don't want to like turn away people who care about me but li #i feel like if i tell them what's wrong with me i'll like do it anyways. i feel like i come off as super normal and happy go lucky and like #ostensibly fine. so when i admit this shit its like. oops the facade is cracking!!!!!! uh oh uh oh you can't help people so you feel bad!!!#because your fucking npd has made you feel self centered in a way that means you want to help people or some shit i dont fucking know #and so when i feel bad or get mad over something unreasonable it's like. well i hope i fucking keel over and die or something i dont like .#i don't want people seeing me like this or whatever. and my stupid fucking personality disorder just ruins every god damn thing its so bad.#my past experiences giving me complexes that lead to me feeling fucking left out over like small stupid stuff but god the worst part is lik #my brain categorizing something as being ''My Thing'' so somebody else talks about liking my thing AFTER my brain has designated it mine #makes alarm bells go off and feel like theyre fucking. i don't know encroaaching on my turf or what the fuck ever? it SUCKS ASS #it makes me feel HORRIBLE . and it's like i'm not gonna fucking bring it up because i don't wnt to be like a dick but also it's like well.#i feel fucking miserable about this but it's just like mean and unnecessary and cruel to like stifle people's fucking fun because of my dum #fuckin complexes. it's fucking constant. like oh look at you girl you feel fucking left out because you never get characters who really gri #you mentally and so now you have one but oops! someone else talked about them and now you're seeing red! you like this person though #so you're gonna feel fucking MISERABLE about this . you're gonna feel HORRIBLE because of this. and there's nothing you can fucking do #and it controls my goddamn life and i HATE IT i fucking HATE IT i wish i knew how to fix it. ghghrgurghrughruhg i want to fucking explode #and then you feel bad about feeling bad because you are fucking sisyphus. you're sisyphus. and your own anger is your boulder. you ingrate.#i hate this. i just wanted to have a good day.#jane mary cry one tear

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binders-and-beanies · 1 year

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Idk why people get sooo mad when a word applies to something they think it doesn’t. Like. I’m diagnosed as being mildly intellectually disabled (because I am severely dyspraxic), it is medically and legally in black and white and there is Thorough ass paperwork that goes into detail as to how. (I won’t get too specific here but I’m categorized as “severely impaired” in the areas of motor speed and coordination, rapid mental flexibility, and spatial perception and orientation.)

Quantitatively and qualitatively doctors have tested and retested to figure out that objectively i fit the criteria, and therefore am officially categorized as such. That’s not a political statement or something I *want* to be true or false, it’s just fact. Not as in my ✨lived experience✨ but as in science. There’s not a secret other definition that doesn’t apply to me, just because an acquaintance is uncomfortable with it for whatever reason. You don’t know more about intellectual disability than neurologists do just because you have a tumblr account

#was reading abt the problems w IQ for school and remembered when I got diagnosed and everyone was like BUT YOUR IQ #first of all my IQ is also in the mildly intellectually disabled range but also that’s irrelevant bc IQ is bullshit #people love to double down about this and for WHAT what threatens you about my diagnosis #if you don’t know Anything abt the systems intellectually disabled ppl interact w you don’t get to act like an authority #people think they know the MOST and then the most basic aspects of me being categorized this way are like. breaking news to them #if ur the expert on me and my condition why is everything abt it such a shocker #i just. dunno what it is abt this term that bothers people so much #is it that it sounds too severe to apply to me? have u just only heard it applied to a few things so new info is hard to adjust to?#is it bc the one time you’ve heard of (mild) dyspraxia it was talked abt in different words? (which don’t have to contradict)#I just. genuinely don’t understand why this is an argument ppl want to win lol #it’s not even an argument bc it’s not even My viewpoint it’s just true #i shouldnt have to pull out my 10 page document full of numbers u won’t understand just bc You decided several doctors used a word wrong #and like. idk why it irks me so much bc it’s not smth i view as positive or negative to me. it just is #it’s not like for example when ppl tell me I’m not bi and ur denying smth I feel proud of #if u disagree about what medical terminology applies to me it’s not like I’m attached to the words themselves bc they’re just. true #i think it has more to do w ppl like. openly knowing nothing abt certain kinds of disabilities n still thinking they know more ..#.. than the ppl who have them or their doctors. like do u think ppl with these disabilities can’t be trusted or can’t understand #bc that’s. how you say. ableist #mine #txt #dyspraxia

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tangirlisfangirl · 1 year

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If SMFS Songs were on Other FOB Albums

BECAUSE I DID THIS WHEN MANIA CAME OUT 5 YEARS AGO (holy shit??) AND WE LOVE A THROWBACK >:D

minus the interludes because i would just sort them all into folie à deux

Love From the Other Side — American Beauty/American Psycho

Heartbreak Feels So Good — Mania

Hold Me Like a Grudge — American Beauty/American Psycho

Fake Out — From Under the Cork Tree

Heaven, Iowa — Mania

So Good Right Now — Folie À Deux

I Am My Own Muse — Infinity on High

Flu Game — Folie À Deux

The Kintsugi Kid — Take This to Your Grave

What a Time to Be Alive — Save Rock and Roll

So Much (For) Stardust — Infinity on High

#cause we all know neurotic bitches LOVE to categorize #all based on VIBES btw im more confident about my choices than last time but you can still fight me over em if you so choose <3 #LOVE FROM THE OTHER SIDE WAS SO HARD TO CATEGORIZE OML #im having so much fun with this album can you tell?#can you tell im feeling things? can you tell im ripping out my bleeding heart and slamming it on the floor thinking about it all?#fall out boy #fob #fob8 #so much (for) stardust #smfs #fob smfs

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exopelagic · 1 month

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I HIT 50 PER CENT BAY BEEEEEEE

#the coverage is NOT even but I MADE IT #I’ve got 2 days left and this is where I get stressed I think #bc I gotta choose which gaps to prioritise #i think I’m gonna spend tomorrow on ecology bc I am tragically only on 25% written up but ecology is also 1. my thing 2. piss easy #bc I did the hard bits already and I’m not touching inclusive fitness with a 10 ft pole and I doubt they’d give us two on inclusive fitness #going over microbiology is probably most effective use of time + then looking at speciation maybe #there’s also conservation and sociality stuff I’d kinda like to look at but I can realistically do no more than 12 written up next two days #and even that’s a STRETCH. like a Big one #but man today I’m finding out people exist who have good notes on all the content. who does that #struggling at this point to hold onto the fact that I’ve done everything i can but that’s WHY I’ve been going so hard #and I’ve done it!! it’s working clearly!!! and I’m feeling way more confident #I’m categorically more prepared for these exams than I’ve been for any others #I think now I need to stop thinking about it and go to bed #sleep debt is gonna start catching up to me soon and I gotta get actual good sleep these next two nights or I’m gonna be fucked #I’ve been pushing myself way too hard but I think it’s necessary here #OKAY BED TIME NO MORE EXAM THOUGHTS GO TO BED #luke.txt

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nineinchmails · 1 year

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Talking about special interest/ hyperfixations shouldn't make me so anxious but it do. ...

#like...... i feel like i dont Know Enough you know i just Think A Lot in a very specific way about a topic #like trying to mentally route my way home and spending time on atlas obscura and listening to music from different eras #idk idk what it all means #like i dont have encyclopedic knowledge and i dont naturally search up stuff about stuff i like #i just recently this summer started figuring out jow ro read about stuff im interested in :[#part of the autism tik tok industrial complex..... expectation to do a ted talk when id rather have a conversation i think..... hmm hard to #categorize this

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lyneira · 1 year

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♡ "carry me pls" ♡

-> how would the the genshin men prefer to carry you?

(A bit on the crack side and slightly suggestive, hehe)

Bridal style

KAVEH, Zhongli, Ayato, Xiao, Dainsleif

It's simple, yet refined and romantic. Plus, they enjoy being able to see your cute face and all of its expressions while holding you. They could easily lean their forehead against yours and kiss you like this.

On their shoulders

ITTO, Venti, Gorou, Childe

For those who like this position, they either want to prove their strength, want you to be their lookout, or they just want to have fun with you!

Okay okay, hear me out on Venti and Gorou. I know they're rather smol in comparison to the others, but I think they'd like carrying you like this primarily because it's a fun position and also because they don't want to be underestimated. Venti would totally try to persuade you to wear a sheet over you both so that you could pretend to be a ghost or monster to scare people ehe 👻

Itto and Childe would have you on their shoulders so not only would they prove how strong they are, they could have you as their lookout, watching for any dangers up ahead or cool sights that you see. (Also, their head in between your thighs would be heaven for them 😏)

Piggyback

DILUC, Alhaitham, Scaramouche, Cyno, Albedo, Tighnari

They like this because it's the most efficient way to carry you. You're not blocking their view, he's holding you tight, you're holding onto him tight, he can easily run if needed without you being in the way.

The only "downside" that they'd see to this would be how you can easily tease them in this position. You might tease them by whispering softly into their ear, or leaving a peck on their cheek while you're at it 🤭

Carries you in front of them

THOMA, Heizou, Kaeya, Kazuha

I don't know how else to explain this position but think of the opposite of a piggyback ride (so a piggy-front ride? 🥴 sounds silly), or like a parent carrying their sleeping child.

They feel like this is the ultimate hug as you're wrapping BOTH your arms and legs around them. Lowkey treats you like their baby, patting your back with one hand to soothe you. They'd enjoy the intimacy of the position and would find the way you were clinging to them absolutely adorable.

Bonus:

Over their shoulder

Alhaitham, Itto, Diluc, Cyno, Childe

Be ready to become a sack of potatoes if you're misbehaving. This category is reserved for those who are tired of your squirming or teasing so they'd simply throw you over their shoulder.

Kick and whine all you want, they're not going to carry you any other way for your actions. They might also teasingly slap your booty if you don't quit whining.

Other than that scenario, if you guys were being chased, he'd see this as the quickest way to carry you. He'll grab you and go, like a fast-food order LOL

a/n: gahh I honestly had a hard time categorizing them. I feel like many of them could be applied to multiple categories

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writingwithcolor · 6 months

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A Careful Balance: Portraying a Black Character's Relationship with their Hair

@writingraccoon said:

My character is black in a dungeons and dragons-like fantasy world. His name is Kazuki Haile (pronounced hay-lee), and his mother is this world's equivalent of Japanese, which is where his first name is from, while his father is this world's equivalent of Ethiopian, which is where his last name is from. He looks much more like his father, and has hair type 4a. I plan to make his character very finnicky about his hair, both enjoying styling it, but also often being unsure how to style it (not in that he doesn't know how to, but has so many options for how to style it, he has trouble choosing). However, I know that there are some very harmful ways to write black hair, especially in regards to how the black character themselves feels about it. Kazuki does not hate his hair, in fact he takes joy in it, and I'm researching black hair and hair styles to be as accurate as possible. But I'm unsure if portraying a black character as occasionally overwhelmed by or vain about his hair is negative. How would you suggest either changing this or making it work? Does it need to be changed in the first place?

Black Character Overwhelmed by Curly Afro Hair

Your Black character wanting his hair to look its best and at times feeling overwhelmed seems reasonable and natural to me. It appears their challenge comes with how to style it. Not so much with struggling how it looks or how hard it is to manage. That is good, as this further helps avoid placing a strong negative focus on Black hair.

Him caring a lot about how it is style should not be deemed vain or frivolous, either. In any case, hair care is self care. There’s nothing wrong with having pride with your hair, especially hair that mainstream society, historically and present, might say is not beautiful. This still matters, even in a fantasy world, since your readers still exist in this reality. It’s empowering and a welcome change to see someone who loves their afro hair, actually.

There are unique factors someone with coily afro hair would experience vs. straight, wavy, or looser curls, but people struggling with their hair (too frizzy, too flat, too limp, too thin, too thick!) is universal.

There is a delicate balance to achieve.

Avoid Writing a Black Hair Journey Experience

An overall negative Afro hair journey might be the reality for many, especially when society deems Afro hair as unacceptable and slaps so many uninvited opinions, laws and policies over its existence and on certain styles (again, historically and very much at present), but that’s the kind of story that is best handled by someone with the background. Someone willing to commit to the research might also be able to pull it off, although it’s truly not the kind of thing an escapism novel needs in my opinion. If the story is not meant to delve into “A Black /Black Hair Experience” then I'd avoid going that route. That is moving a bit towards a struggle narrative, depending on how much it defines your character’s story.

Add positive and neutral hair language and interactions

For your writing, I’d avoid using unchallenged negative language about his hair. Being overwhelmed at times and frustrated is one thing and expected. If his hair is constantly brought up, and is associated with uncontrollable, ugly, or too [insert struggle here], then rethink the direction you’re going.

Add some positive or neutral terms, reactions, and interactions in the narrative towards afro hair, such as describing color and texture.

“His fine coils bounced in the wind.”

“Hair black and shiny”

“She wore her hair in two large, fluffy buns.”

“He admired his fresh, neat braids in the mirror, smiling at his reflection, before turning to leave.”

Another tip: It may have been for research purposes, but leave out any hair number categorizing in the story and rely on description. I’d say this goes for any story, as reading the number would feel off.

“He had coily 4a hair.” Nahh! :P

Also, I would suggest sending all passages that focus on his hair to a Black sensitivity reader for review.

More reading:

~Mod Colette

#asks #black #black hair #hair #afro hair #description #tragedy exploitation #struggle novel #creator responsibility #representation #guides #writeblr

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teapartyprincess4two · 2 months

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omg can you make a chris version to the talkative fic? my english isn’t very good i apology if this doesn’t make sense!

Talkative- C. Sturniolo

pairing: Yapper!reader x Boyfriend!Chris

classification: SFW & NSFW headcannons

inspiration: request^^

warnings: some 18+ content, use of y/n, established relationship

summary: head cannons of Chris with a talkative, yapper girlfriend!

Talkative- M. Sturniolo (Matt’s Version)

Talkative- N. Sturniolo (Nick’s Version)

—

☆ SFW

You love to talk and that’s something Chris has loved about you from the moment he met you. He, much like you, is extremely extroverted, but every girl he’s talked to in the past has always found him to be too much. You’re his perfect match and although he also likes to talk, he loves to listen too.

☆ Chris never gets tired of hearing you talk, “Babe tell me the story about the teddy bear again.”

☆ You retell stories in such a detailed way that he can’t help but burst into laughter even if he’s heard it before.

☆ When you talk about your friends, it’s like you’re explaining their lore in full detail each time.

☆ “No, babe, that was Savannah. I’m talking about Teala,” or “Dude, I’m telling you that’s why they fired that bitch.”

☆ He has all the characters memorized, even categorizing their lives into arcs, episodes, and seasons.

☆ “Wow Teala is in her villain arc,” and “On this weeks episode of, Who the Fuck is Getting Fired!”

☆ He loves asking you questions because you somehow know the answer to everything.

☆ You’ll be eating dinner and suddenly a random question will pop into his mind, “Y/n, what does litigate mean? I heard someone use it today, sounded fancy.”

☆ You look up at him mid bite, slightly confused but also intrigued at a new topic of conversation.

☆ “I think it has something to do with the law, I don’t know, babe. But one time I heard someone say that on one of those court shows…” you drone on for a while.

☆ Chris always Googles the answers afterwards, not because he doesn’t believe you, but because he truly thinks you’re the smartest person on this planet and you haven’t been wrong yet.

☆ You’re both equally insane, you’ll laugh like crazy people no matter where you are.

☆ You tell the best jokes too, your mind works so fast that you’re able to create comebacks and quick, witty remarks to everything he says.

☆ Sometimes you’ll join him and his brothers on grocery trips, and the both of you wander off just completely in your own world.

☆ You’re the only person who can catch Chris off guard.

☆ You’ll say something completely unexpected and outlandish, causing him to pause whatever he’s doing and stare at you in shock.

☆ “Babe! No way you just said that.”

☆ “I said it, and I’ll say it again.”

☆ When you’re with friends, you tend to talk over each other and your friends almost break their necks switching their attention between you and Chris.

☆ To other people it might seem like you’re fighting each other for the spotlight, but in reality you’re able to bounce off each other’s energy and add on to whatever the other says.

☆ He knows what it’s like to be called annoying, so if anyone ever makes you feel uncomfortable for being talkative he defends you without hesitation.

☆ “Watch your fucking mouth. Don’t say shit like that about her.”

☆ Every conversation you have is full of inside jokes that no one else can keep up with, and it’s literally something new every week.

☆ Although other people are confused by the jokes, you and Chris understand each other fully, almost like you speak your own made up language.

☆ You make each other laugh so hard that your cheeks and ribs will start hurting.

☆ “Chris stop! I’m gonna pee,” you wheeze, rolling over on your side as you try to catch your breath.

☆ He keeps going though, making you laugh harder by making silly faces and funny voices through his story.

☆ After long days of filming and being away from you, he’ll cuddle up next to you in bed and murmur through the drowsiness, “Talk to me baby.”

☆ You know he’s tired so you don’t talk his ear off at a high energy, you just retell your day and play with his hair, kissing his face between sentences.

☆ He loves the sound of your voice, each word as sweet as honey, instantly lulling him into a peaceful sleep.

☆ You’re very opinionated and sometimes you say something he disagrees with, instantly creating a debate between the two of you.

☆ The debates always start off innocent, just you two going back and forth with opinions and the occasional fact.

☆ It’s not until it gets personal that Chris gets upset, giving you the silent treatment until you’re begging for him to talk to you again.

☆ “Chris, I’m sorry! Just talk to me, I’m so bored without you!” He tries putting on a tough guy act, but it never lasts long so he’s forgiving you within seconds.

☆ When you’re around older people, they always comment on what a nice, kind couple you two are because you engage in conversation with everyone.

☆ “What a nice old lady,” Chris says, slinging an arm around you as you both walk away.

☆ “Such wisdom,” you chime in, both of you falling into a fit of laughter. You could never take anything serious.

☆ NSFW

☆ Chris knows not to look too into your conversations with other guys, but sometimes he can’t help but get jealous.

☆ He’ll lose you at a party and find you talking to a stranger, an excited aura surrounding you as you jump from topic to topic.

☆ When he sees the guy becoming too comfortable and touchy, he makes his way over to you and inserts himself in the conversation.

☆ Later, he’s fucking you to teach you a lesson and clamping a strong hand over your mouth to keep you quiet, “This dirty little mouth of yours got you in trouble, Princess.”

☆ Other times he just gets turned on by your voice.

☆ He wants you to talk him through the sex and guide him on what positions you want.

☆ “C’mon baby, tell me how bad you want it.”

☆ Despite you both being talkative, there’s times when you’re so fucked out you’re speechless.

☆ The only sound that fills the room is skin slapping and Chris’s animalistic grunts, followed by your whimpers and small squeaks.

☆ He relishes in it, “This dick has you speechless, huh?”

☆ All he gets in response is a whimper, as you claw at his back for support.

☆ Chris loves when you dirty talk him, using your words to say filthy things to him.

☆ It riles him up beyond belief, and if you keep it going he’s lasting at least 3 rounds.

☆ Afterwards, he loves cuddling or spooning, both of you talking for hours about your future together.

—

MASTERLIST

A/n:

Happy birthday to me! (It was yesterday at this point)

Thank you for this request and NEVER apologize for your English/ grammar. I’m a bilingual education major and I firmly believe you don’t need to apologize for that EVER. I luv u!

Also I’m bilingual (English & Spanish) If any of yall ever want to send in a request in Spanish, go ahead bbys! LOS AMO 💋💋💋

Lastly, I’ll admit that this was harder to write than Matt’s version idky

- L.A.M.B👼🏻💗

—

taglist: @nicksmainbitch @sturniololovers @mayhem-72 @worldlxvlys @gnxosblog @meg-sturniolo @creamoncreamoncream2 @mattnchrisworld @sanyi5 @lustfulslxt @whicked-hazlatwhore @tworosesblackthorn @mxqdii @fawned01 @junnniiieee07

note: if you want to be tagged in my fanfic related posts, you can access my TAGLIST and comment 💐

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crishayle · 5 months

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Uranus in the houses

Disclaimer.Here I describe only one specific placement, always take into account all your other placements when reading your natal chart, because they can have a greater influence on you than Uranus (in this case)

Uranus in the 1st house:

1.There may be rebel traits in a person's character. He can be straightforward, honest, and sharp-tongued. He will say what others are afraid to say. They are cardinal and categorical in their thoughts.

2.They are really kind. These are people who can help not only their loved ones, but also strangers. They do not tolerate injustice, rudeness and arrogance.

3.Most often they are of medium height, less often tall. Their eyes stand out very much in their appearance, there may be unruly or curly hair (or wavy)

4.They are brave. I will not say that they are not afraid of anything. They can talk about their fears and problems, but they can really pull themselves together and be courageous at the right moment

5.Personally, it seems to me that they are a little nervous and restless. It's just that they literally don't stand still during times of stress. They twitch their legs, bite their nails or pencils, bite their lips or cheeks. If something has offended them, then this thought will torment them for a long time

Uranus in the 2nd house:

1.It's hard for such people to save money. It's as if their money should always move (be spent or invested). At the same time, they damn always find money! They don't have a rainy day stash, but they manage without it

2.A person has a strong, rather restless energy. I wouldn't say it's crazy energy, but people feel this rush when they communicate with you

3.I noticed that such people can see beauty in chaos. For example, they may like disheveled hair, wrinkled or faded clothes. I'm not saying that they are dirty, but negligence plays the role of charm for them. They may have chaos in their bag, makeup bag, closet, etc. They are used to chaos, for them this is the most convenient storage system :)

4.He takes care of the equipment, it can be stored in good condition longer than other people

5.Most often they choose an unusual job. For example, it requires great endurance, dexterity or patience. They don't really like the 5/2 schedule (but consider your 6th house and Mercury)

Uranus in the 3rd house:

1.Personally, it seems to me that they have strange but funny jokes. I can't say that all people laugh at their jokes, but people with placements in Sagittarius/Gemini/Aquarius will be on the same vibe with them

2.They can make long pauses in their speech or quickly change the topic of conversation. They are good conversationalists, because they can discuss anything

3.They don't like big texts, lectures, or a huge amount of information. They prefer concise and more specific texts. I noticed that they choose books and movies very carefully so that watching or reading is really interesting.They may also dislike long films. My friends with Uranium in the 3rd house recently fell asleep on a 3-hour movie. Well, sleep is useful

4.Most often there are problems with concentration. Such people can solve very difficult tasks, but blunt on the easiest ones

5.They are quite independent in terms of learning. Their brains are practical, creative, and NON-STANDARD. Sometimes I'm really shocked by what they can come up with. Scary and cool lol

Uranus in the 4th house:

1.They may not look like their parents, or they may look like distant relatives (but you need to consider whether you have aspects of the sun/moon to the ascendant)

2.Strange relationship with parents. They're not bad, but they're not that close either. Or it can be like a roller coaster, from love to hate(but I would recommend considering your moon as well)

3.Independent and matured early. Their minds are much older than their bodies. A person is not used to listening to advice, likes to make decisions on his own and does not tolerate control

4.Not always, but this is one of the signs of a single-parent family or a person's childhood could have been spent with grandparents

5.There is one caveat. Such a person may be inclined to take too much responsibility and control. Literally bring himself to panic and a state of emptiness when he is not able to help even himself

Uranus in the 5th house:

1.One of the indicators of attractive appearance. You may feel the stares and attention of strangers. There is something memorable about their appearance

2.With tense aspects, it may indicate an unwillingness to have children, or a late pregnancy. Sometimes it also indicates problems with the reproductive system (but you need to take into account the 8th house)

3.This is a person around whom there is always some kind of drama and adventure. I do not know how it happens, but there is always something interesting going on around them, even if they do not want to

4.Girls, if you see a man with Uranus in the 5th house with a bunch of squares/oppositions (ESPECIALLY TO THE MOON), run and don't look back. It's not worth it. They are not suitable for serious relationships, especially for family ones

5.A person who has his own style of clothing or image. They like to focus on details and accessories. They try not to wear the same look every day

Uranus in the 6th house:

1.An unpunctual person. He may often be late or not come to work/study/meeting. A flexible work schedule is more suitable for him

2.If they have inspiration and motivation, then they can complete 1000 tasks in a day, but if they are not in the mood, then they will not do anything. They are literally mood people. I wouldn't say it's always a bad thing. This situation is often found among writers and creative people.

3.Their main advantage is physical endurance. I will not say that they are jocks, but their body can withstand a load that will break any other person. They may not sleep/eat/work/walk longer than ordinary people

4.Such a person may have special esoteric rituals, for example, to attract good luck or money. They also notice the signs of fate well

5.They also don't like talking to someone not on the same level. Status, salary, gender, etc. are not important to them, they will communicate with you like with everyone else

Uranus in the 7th house:

1.Well, there is 100,000% something unusual in the sphere of human love. There are long-distance relationships and a long 10-year relationship without marriage and a relationship with a friend and a divorce and a strange acquaintance with the second half and an annoying ex. It can be anything but a normal relationship

2.A person may avoid romance and love (but consider your Venus). A person prefers to be loved rather than loving someone

3.Such people like emotionally sensitive people. Only people with stressful aspects of Uranus can choose people with mental problems. They may think that their partner is a mysterious and interesting person, but he just has depression or social phobia

4.With the harmonious aspects of Uranus, such a person values his independence in relationships. He clearly defends personal boundaries, while respecting his soulmate. He can immediately break off a relationship if he understands that they are harmful to him

5.Such a person knows how to find an approach to anyone. His circle of friends may consist of completely different and dissimilar people

Uranus in the 8th house:

1.Such a person had a case when he had an accident/was severely electrocuted or burned/was in a fire, etc. Simply put, there was a case when he miraculously survived

2.He understands other people well. Literally can feel other people's emotions. He's good at spotting lies.This is from the indicators of a psychologist/tarologist/astrologer

3.VERY GOOD INTUITION!!!!!

4.Such a person has few close people. He may seem distrustful and cold from the outside. His friends are being tested by time

5.To be honest, people in this position always make an impression after a conversation. Their life experience and worldview are so interesting and unique that their advice can be really useful. I'm not joking or exaggerating.Imagine,even I(Capricorn)listen to their advice

Uranus in the 9th house:

1.This person is like an eternally half-empty vessel. No matter how much knowledge and experience he receives, it is always not enough for him. They are not stubborn in their opinion and can really look at the situation in 360 degrees

2.In combination with a strong Mercury, it may indicate moving to another country or learning another language to the level of a native speaker

3.These are the very people who jump from topic to topic in conversation and forget what they were talking about. Their attention is chaotic, so they can reread the same page a thousand times because they are thinking about something

4.Moral issues are often raised in conversation. They can often discuss justice, honesty and mercy. In general, they believe in humanity and they are really kind

5.They are very harsh and rude when they notice disrespect or lies in their direction. Even if they are silent, they will make such a face that you will blush with shame. They clearly set their personal boundaries

Uranus in the 10th house:

1.Good logical thinking and imagination. It is often found among workers in the field of IT, engineering,design

2.Such people almost always rise rapidly through the career ladder and professional development. They really strive to be a master of their craft, they are considered an authority and are asked to teach beginners

3.By the way, good teaching skills. Such a person can explain very complex things in understandable language.

4.They try to live by the principle of let everything go as it should. They strive to make the most of what they can and try not to worry about problems that are beyond their control. They are quite stress-resistant

5.Most often, they do not work in their specialty. They could change a lot of jobs, and in each they developed quite successfully. They like to try and learn something new

Uranus in the 11th house:

1.Most of the time, his friends are creative and unusual. I would even say crazy a little bit. Such a person is attracted to cheerful, energetic and fervent people

2.With tense aspects, it may indicate dependence on other people's opinions and low self-esteem

3.Good leadership and organizational skills. Such a person is energetic and creative, knows how to communicate with a crowd of people and hear everyone's opinion. Many of them are activists at school or university

4.Such people rarely lose their virginity before the age of 18. They prefer to carefully look for the very person with whom they will feel not only a physical, but also a spiritual connection (for them this is a mandatory point)

5.With tense aspects, it may indicate social phobia or fear of loneliness. A person literally cannot be in silence or alone with his thoughts

Uranus in the 12th house:

1.Very good intuition, but there may be neurological problems (sleep problems, seizures, nervous tics, etc.)

2.Very kind and even too kind. They tend to put their own needs below those of others. They do not like to quarrel and will rather keep silent so as not to create unnecessary noise (but also consider the Sun and Mercury)

3.From the outside, such a person gives the impression of an educated and calm person. They are like your beloved grandfather, to whom you can always come for hugs and interesting stories.They are very comfortable!

4.On the other hand, people with this placement claim that because of their social flexibility, it is difficult for them to understand who they really are. The influence of other people is so strong that it is difficult for them to hear their inner voice

5.They prefer oversize clothes in calm tones(but also consider your Venus). Loose or wavy hair suits them very well. Sweaters or cardigans fit them best!

#astrology #astrology community #zodiac #horoscope #astrology blog #astrology signs #tumblr fyp #astro community #natal chart #astro observations #natal astrology #astro notes #astro tumblr #astrologer #natal chart observations #uranus

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becomingthatgirl111 · 9 months

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organize your week like this to be closer to the best version of yourself

i interpret the process of becoming our best version as climbing a ladder, on each step, we learn something new that serves us, and the next we complement it with something new, and so on until we reach the end and after many small habits we have become that version we wanted to be. little by little we are learning and although sometimes it is complicated to climb because of the adversities that may arise we can always take up the path again and put into practice what we have learned. that said, today i want to share a method that i have created to organize our habits and thus fulfill them more effectively and feel motivated. in this post i will only present some examples, you have to apply it to your own situation and my recommendation is to start now even with small habits that will be the ones that will lead you to success. i recommend that you try it for this week and write down your results, if it has worked for you keep using this "organization method" and adding new habits or increasing its time.

organize by categories.

create groups to categorize the habits you want to implement in your life, for example like this (the habits are examples, use your own)

🌿 health (body and nutrition)

10 minutes of exercise every day

30 minutes of walking every day

drink a lot more water

start eating consciously

one self-care day a week, for example on friday. we can take this day more relaxed and take more care of ourselves, dedicate more time to our personal and mental care.

do massage with the quartz roller and gua sha

make an appointment for nails, hairdresser, spa, eyelashes or even go to a coffee shop with yourself.

use a face mask and hair mask

🌿 personal growth

read 10 pages a day

listen to personal growth podcasts or audiobooks (choose one and listen to it all week long)

choose an affirmation and write it down every day

record in a diary or an app your mood and what you did during the day.

create a to-do list of what you will do for the day (the night before)

choose a video of affirmations and listen to it every day at a time that suits you best

🌿 studies

study about what you are studying or training for.

dedicate e.g. 20-30 minutes each day to study or review.

study a new language, 15 minutes a day, 5 days a week.

🌿 hobbies

1 - 2 hours to what you enjoy doing (depends on the day and your schedule)

you can write down in a notebook the groups you want to choose for yourself and then the habits you are going to implement, even if they are very small, for example 5 minutes of daily exercise, that is a good start.

to stay focused and not fall into old habits we can also replace the old habits with new ones that we want to implement in this way.

old habit: too much time on instagram new habit: reading or listening to an audiobook while i take a walk. or even just 15 minutes of social media a day.

other examples:

drinking soda or alcoholic beverages > drinking a lot more water and starting to drink natural juices.

watch a lot of series on netflix (or any streaming platform) > read or listen to podcasts/audiobooks that nourish my mind.

overthinking, worrying > meditating for about 5 minutes

lying in bed without doing anything > organizing my room

think in negative > think about the things you would like to happen to you

other tips to connect with your best version

write in your diary how you would act, be and what habits your best version would have. this will give you clarity about what you want and you will feel closer to that because you will know how to act.

establish small habits to start with and take it as a kind of game or test during this week. don't push yourself too hard.

at times when you don't know how to act or react, think about how your best version would act and what it would do.

write down things you are proud of or would like to be proud of.

if you are easily distracted or do not know what to do at any given moment, set alarms to know what to do at that moment.

if you use social media a lot, set a limit of use.

choose habits that you know you will be able to do easily, that will make you gain confidence and little by little establish those habits in which you have procrastinated or which are more difficult for you.

think big, open yourself to the possibilities that life offers you every day and keep a positive attitude towards any situation.

apps i recommend: habit: it serves to keep track of your habits and also get organized, it's a kind of to-do list. daylio: you can record your mood, what you did during the day and your habits, it also allows you to write and add photos. it is very complete, it can be used as a digital diary. notion: to get organized.

duolingo: if you want to learn a language a few minutes a day will be enough. i learned a lot of grammar in english thanks to this, which works if you practice daily.

and as always my blog is about this and there will be many more related posts in addition to the existing ones, all to be our best version 🤍 in fact if you try it i would love to know your results.

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liquidlightning · 2 years

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cuddle pile this morning with my partner and her partner (i slept on the sofa overnight tho) and its wonderful but also awful and im gonna cry but not in a good way and i feel crazy anxious

#he (the other partner) is giving me more affection than my gf has in the last few months and it is very difficult #to watch them be affectionate so easily when i feel like i have been reaching out to her for months and it not being reciprocated #what about me or our relationship makes it difficult for her to be affectionate with me?#yesterday on our way to see him she took my hand and that was the first time she initiated that kind of thing in. so long #it is very difficult to see them kissing when she doesn’t kiss me anymore #and when she went to the loo i feel like he and i had a more honest conversation in 3 minutes than i have had with my actual partner #in many months #which is of course on me as well #but it is hard to say hey i feel lonely and vulnerable when the thing making me feel lonely and vulnerable is that she is closing off #from me #he is living with her for a month and in summer she lived with him for a month #and i know they are way longer distance than me and her #but i have categorically spent less time with her in this whole year so far #than they have spent together since they got together in may/june

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ghost-recs · 1 month

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can we get some bakugou recs 😊😊 (written and smaus pleaseee)

hello hellooo! oh man do i ever have some! you have no idea the can of worms you are opening my friend.

but first i am so sorry for how late this rec is! i wanted to get this done days ago, but the semester has been crazy packed. i'm going to get through all my asks one by one. thank you for your patience! anyways let's get into this !!

Bakugou Recs

Garden of Lungs (Hanahaki) by oweCrew [ao3]

synopsis: you have your whole life ahead of you, a promising future and jobs lined up after UA...but these stupid flowers are going to be the death of you, literally.

i flew through this fic so fast. it was the first time i had every heard of hanahaki disease and oof to my heart. i loved it!

Late Night Calls by fictionpls [ao3]

synopsis: much to bakugou's disdain, you skipped your meals again. tch, he's basically taking care of you at this point.

cute lil fluff oneshot with bakugou as your best friend...maybe more.

Nothing More, Nothing Less by @dekustowel

synopsis: bakugou made a big whoopsies. the only way to get out of it? fake date you, the internet's sweatheart, duh!

this smau idea has a hold on me. i'm a sucker for the fake dating trope. and i mean seriously, it's bakugou! [ongoing...]

Nerd (Affectionately) by @oniku-niku

synopsis: you're in love with bakugou, have been since you were kids. there was no use in hiding the truth. but did he have to be so rude about it??

most of this smau is a big ouch to the heart. but the drama gets heavier as the story goes on and i'm here for it! happy soft ending! :)

Speak by Kikyo851 [ao3]

synopsis: you could not believe that your soulmate was such a crude and violent person...just to spite the universe and him you decide not to say a word to your "soulmate."

soulmate au in which the first words that your soulmate says to you is written on your wrist. this fulfilled my needs of a bakugou soulmate au! so cute and it is complete!

Of Snowscapes & Explosions by sugarbun [ao3]

synopsis: you've been categorized as second to shoto todoroki ever since grade school. after a frustrated vent to bakugou and a few of his cracks revealing some of his own frustrations you realize that maybe you and him aren't so different after all.

guys....when i tell you this fic is the slowest slow burn. i feel like it's so accurate to how bakugou would actually fall for someone. sadly, this fic is unfished tho and hasn't been updated in a couple years😭 but you should read it anyways.

cover shot (through the heart) by @andypantsx3

cross posted on ao3 here! cover shot (through the heart) by andypantsx3

synopsis: you're the only one who can deal with bakugou's attitude in the industry. he hasn't found something that bothers you...until he starts flirting with you, hello??

model/celebrity au. super cute fic. i'm warning you this is much spicier than some of my other recs. mdni. (also check out this author's other works. they have a lot of top tier content!!)

Motherly Love by @kweenkatsuki-fics

synopsis: bakugou gives his mom a late night call to thank her. the reason why softens her heart greatly.

super soft lil drabble that just about brings me to tears everytime i read it. in love with bakugou fr.

déjà vu by @cashmoneyyysstuff

synopsis: bakugou thinks back to some oddly familiar memories with you. and one thing always stays the same, you both are together.

oneshot the made my jaw drop. hit me hard in the feels.

untitled oneshot by @honeypirate

synopsis: being paired with your number 1 enemy for a group project proved that the universe hated you. well might as well have some fun with this and make bakugou's life just as miserable.

college au oneshot. i am always down for a good enemies to lovers trope!

risky by @kusaka6e

synopsis: moving from another country to work as a pro hero in japan was not the easiest. and a certain hot headed hero only adds to your frustrations.

oneshot about the obvious grown tension between you and pro hero dynamite.

i hope you find something you like! sorry for the late rec, have a lovely day/night!

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dreamgrlarchive · 1 year

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Dear dream girl, I really want to be my dream girl but I don’t know where to start. I feel unmotivated most of the time and I only get a burst of motivation at like 3 am. I just what to glow and radiate good energy for myself and find/do what I like

Oh, So You Wanna Be a Dream Girl? 🎀

starting your dream girl journey

Congrats on choosing yourself and your tiara; I am so proud. Prepare to not be liked, to be judged, and to stand out. It’s lonely at the top.

*this guide is for starting the process, not reaching the end result because my version of my own dream girl is inevitably different than yours. bare in mind i’m not holding your hand. i’m nudging you in a good direction.

what is a dream girl?

a dream girl is a girl that has finally fallen in love with who she sees in the mirror. she’s the girl that she can depend on. she has her desired look and she’s on the path to self actualization actively. she’s aware of her branding. she holds herself to the standards she holds other to; and they are HIGH. her self worth isn’t contingent upon a love interest, amount of money, or social status. she’s simply that girl.

do some healing.

yes, i said it. healing. like i’ve said before, you cannot put glitter on literal garbage. that’s not even the slightest bit appealing. you’re gonna journal about your childhood, your biggest influences in life, your biggest fears and how you feel life has treated you. this calls for shadow work. shadow working really helped me figure out some of my toxic traits and how some of the things that were considered normal to me as a child have affected me in the long run. you’re also gonna write hypothetical letters to your loved (and not-so-loved) ones, including yourself. let it all out. say everything you want that person to know. around you or not, dead or alive. prepare to clam up, cry, get angry, feel anxious. good. you should. you feel clammy, hot and sometimes pain when your body is fighting off and healing from a physical sickness. now you’re dealing with the developmental, mental, and emotional parts. you’re doing yourself a disservice choosing to stay the same toxic, nasty, mean, or victimized person you’ve always been.

what do you want?

before you can start to even do the smallest improvements, you have to have a clear goal. or else you’ll just be running around in circles (heh) over grandiose blurry wishful thinking. ultimately resulting in you giving up and choosing to be basic bc it’s easier. what do you want out of life? how do you want to be treated? what do you want to do? what makes you happy? and most importantly, how do you want to feel? see, it’s more than just the frills and glitter. you have to know what you’re trying to get to, internally and externally.

grab a diary, adorn it with pretty little details and commit to it. pair it with your fav writing utensil. outline all of your goals. every single last one of them. you can categorize them, scale them from short to long term, easy to hard. it doesn’t matter. do absolutely what you want to do to make a concrete record of your goals that’s digestible for you.

what are you going to do?

*fabulosity by kimora lee simmons*

compare your dream reality to the one you’re currently experiencing. what is she doing that you aren’t? that’s it. do that. anyone can read blogs about the process and other people success stories but those posts aren’t gonna change your life unless you get up and go for what you want. i don’t know what exactly you desire out of life. you do. so you have the instructions for this journey. the first part was easy, this is simple but not nearly as effortless. it’s up to you and not anyone else. you teach others how to treat you. improvements you can make include better: hygiene, self talk/treatment, outward energy, work ethic, discipline, health, consumed content, relationships, looks, habits.

the work

it’s time to apply yourself. get up everyday and actively work towards your goal. be kind to yourself. take yourself to the doctors. get active. eat right. find your passion. DO THE HEALING.

everyone’s journey is SO different so i’m just going to do a quick rundown of the importance of each of the ten facets of your dream girl journey (that build upon each other. ie; looks do not benefit you when your hygiene is insufficient):

*these facets are loosely based on maslow’s hierarchy of needs

health - are you taking care of yourself? please treat yourself how you would your loved ones. you’ll be surprised how physical issues manifest mentally, and vice versa. get adequate sleep. take baby steps if need be. some of these adjustments may be huge to you. be gracious with your journey.

consumed content - everything you engage in is your diet. the company you keep, food you eat, music you enjoy. you get the idea. do you feel light and ready to take on the day? or do you feel drained and sick more often than not. make some adjustments wherever you see necessary.

hygiene - extremely important. stick to a routine for your hygienic needs. you should have rituals you engage in everyday. don’t forget that your health and hygiene go hand in hand. oral and feminine hygiene is so crazily important. please don’t neglect yourself. i talk about my routines in detail here.

habits - daily habits are so crucial to your lifestyle. adjust these and consciously break your bad habits by supplementing your life with equal and opposite habits.

self talk/treatment - simple. be kind to yourself. hold yourself accountable for flaws and mistakes while loving yourself enough to be patient with the journey of improving.

outward energy - be very aware of the vibes you’re permeating. again this is so a huge determination of how you will be treated and how you will live your life.

work ethic/discipline - it’s gonna take serious accountability to escape the desire to stay comfortable. you have to tell yourself that you deserve *your desired end result* so you will *make specific change/adjustment.* it’s that simple (again simple doesn’t mean easy).

relationships - if you don’t like the way you’re treated by those in your life, those relationships need to be reevaluated. you can make some trims on your circle, have some honest conversations, or adjust your behaviors (because sometimes, YOU are the problem).

passion and career - in order to feel fulfilled in life, we all need a purpose. discover yours. incorporate your passion into your daily life.

looks - develop your signature and hone in on it. looks are very important to your perception (self and public). check out this guide to help with this part. however you wanna feel is how you should display yourself.

be a dream girl!

you’ve discovered all the facets of creating your dream self and reality. now it’s time to apply what you’ve learned. start showing up in life in the fashion you want to be seen in.

that’s it! the rest is up to you!

- xoxo, dreamgrlarchive 🎀

#dream girl journey #my posts #dream girl cultivation #dream girl wellness

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puppyspiral · 11 months

Text

recoil

carmen berzatto x f!reader smut

summary: he pushes you too hard. you push back

etc: nsfw, fingering, piv sex, carmy kind of being a dick sorry.... but then hes nice

a/n: haii this is an excerpt from a long fic i'm writing i just really wanted to write smut abt carmen first LMFAO it's like the reader is his roommate due to situations umm

word count: 1677

“Again, Chef,” Carmen was right behind you, watching you chop carrots on the cutting board in your apartment. You were now finding it redundant that you had asked him to call you “Chef” when he was teaching you how to cook.

“Jesus, Carmy,” You sighed exasperatedly, pushing your already sliced coins away and readying a new vegetable.

He hummed a little, “I said ‘again.’” His voice was low in your ear and your knife almost slipped in your palm. You continued to steadily slice at the vegetable until his voice was sharp in your ear again. “It’s still not good enough. You have to go faster.”

You groaned, loudly, tired of him. “Carmy! It’s, like, twelve-thirty! I want to go to fucking bed!”

He took the knife from you, giving you what could only be categorized as a glare. He took a place next to you, rather than behind you, and quickly chopped the carrot into thin coins, faster than you could ever imagine to do. “Yeah? There. Go to sleep, try again in the morning.” There was a bite to his words.

“Carmen,” You replied, grabbing his wrist.

“What?” He snapped and you pulled him into a kiss.

He was surprised, obviously, but he dropped the knife onto the counter and pressed the brunt of his body weight into you. “Fuck,” You groaned against his lips and he growled against yours.

“Shut up,” He replied, picking you up so that you could wrap your legs around his waist and he could walk into his bedroom.

You didn’t venture into Carmen’s room. Ever. It smelled overwhelmingly like him, like earth and his method soap. His room was neat and messy at the same time, with clothes strewn across a chair he had, but his bed was made neatly, sheets tucked under the mattress.

He dropped you onto the mattress, ensuring you were fully settled into the middle of his bed. He crawled over you, kissing you again, his lips playing sloppily on yours.

“Carmy,” You managed to moan out between kisses.

He also moaned your name and it sounded sweet, like he had been waiting for this. He pulled off his shirt, and you would’ve thought it was a shame because of how the shirt hugged his biceps, but seeing the muscles underneath the shirt was way better.

“Shit, Carm, didn’t know you were fuckin’ ripped,” You said, pressing your hands into his shoulders and then letting them travel down his torso.

He laughed a little, “I like to keep it tight.”

You joined him in a small chuckle, “Don’t ever say that again.”

“My bad,” He replied, leaning down and kissing your neck. You groaned a little as his kisses turned into soft bites, leaving marks on your neck. Yep, definitely wearing a turtleneck into work tomorrow.

He helped you pull your shirt off, molding his hands to your breasts and massaging them. He dipped down, kissing your collarbone and then scraping his teeth over it. He brought his hand down, rubbing you through your shorts. If he were to be feeling you over your underwear, you were sure he would feel the fact that you were soaked through, all because of a little kissing.

You locked your fingers together on the back of his neck, bringing him down to kiss you some more because you had barely begun to kiss him and you were already missing the feeling of his lips on yours.

“Is this okay? I can do this, right?” He murmured into your ear, hand still rubbing small circles over your clothed heat.

“Yes,” You breathed out, squirming against his hand.

He swallowed as if regaining self-control. “Tell me. Tell me what you want me to do to you.”

You nibbled on your bottom lip, “Really?”

“I don’t want to do anything you don’t want me to,” He brought your hand up to his lips, kissing your knuckles.

“Fine. I want you to hurry up and put your dick in me. I’ve waited long enough.”

His eyes widened in surprise and he blinked momentarily. “Condom,” He said quickly, as if realizing the gravity of the situation.

“Carmen, no. I’ve wanted this for god knows how long, and I’m on birth control. Fuck me raw.” He dropped his head, groaning.

“Okay, fuck, okay. Raw.” He said the word as if it were something new to him.

He wasted little time taking his pants off and you saw the thick outline of his cock through his boxers. Carmen curled his fingers into your shorts and underwear, pulling them down. He wet his lips at the sight of your dripping pussy and pushed his hand through his hair. “You’re fuckin’ soaked.”

“Shut up,” You replied, face flushing.

“No, no, it’s good. It’s cute,” He said, curving the shape of his hand to fit your cunt. You throbbed against his palm and he chuckled a little. “You’re eager for this, aren’t you?”

You swallowed, digging fingernails into his shoulders. “Shut the hell up.”

“Mm-mm,” He replied, one of his fingers pushing carefully into you. You let out a soft noise as just that one finger stretched you out. He had thick fingers, you realized. You had always been semi-aware of it, but this really went to show it.

“Carmy,” You groaned, digging your nails into him a little harder.

He sunk another finger into you and you let a wanton moan escape you, hands making fists in the sheets.

His fingers spread apart inside of you and you could’ve sworn you were seeing stars. “Carmy,” You moaned, again, his name was the only word your mind could come up with.

“Shh, you’re taking it so well,” He murmured and you nodded.

He pumped his fingers in and out of you at almost an agonizing pace, each movement somehow finding some different spot inside of you and drawing out noises you didn’t even know you could make.

He pulled his fingers out of you when he seemed to be satisfied with how undone he had made you.

He wrapped his hands around your waist as best as he could, lifting your hips up ever so slightly. You kept your position, trembling, as he pulled his boxers down. “Shit,” You sighed softly, realizing that this was, in fact, happening.

“You okay?” He asked, dragging his thumb over your cheek.

You nodded and then swallowed. “It’s not every day someone gets a chance to fuck their childhood crush.”

“It could be,” He said with a small smirk that brought a flush to your already heated cheeks.

“Oh, shut up,” You huffed out, spreading your legs as if inviting him in.

He chuckled, “Don’t have to tell me twice.”

He positioned the head of his cock with your entrance and you let out a large and shuddering gasp as he pushed inside of you. A groan escaped him as his cock was swallowed by the warmth of your cunt.

There was the smallest hint of pain as his cock stretched you out and he intertwined his fingers with yours, kissing every small inch of skin he could to comfort you.

He began to pull out and you already missed the way he filled you. He rolled his hips back into you, slowly and carefully. You leaned your head back into the pillow, biting on your lip as a pleased whine bubbled over your lips.

“Is that okay?” He asked gently, continuing the soft push and pull of his hips.

“Yes,” You gasped, finally getting used to the feeling of him inside of you.

“Tell me if it’s too much,” He whispered, leaning down and kissing your neck softly.

You nodded in agreeance and this time he kissed your lips as he moved his hips. His hips sped up their pace and he set a fast rhythm, snapping his hips in and out of you.

You let loud moans leave your lips, your nails leaving crescent marks in his shoulders and back. “Carmen,” You whimpered, wrapping your legs around his torso. No way in hell were you letting him go.

“No, you’re taking me so well, good girl,” He murmured into your ear, nipping at the slope of your neck.

The praise made you gasp and you pulled him down for another kiss and it was heated and messy. He groaned into your mouth as you tightened around him and you bit down on his lip as his hand traveled down to play with your clit. “Stop,” You breathed out, even if you didn’t want him to.

“Yeah, you sure about that?” He asked with a chuckle.

You pouted. “Obviously not.”

His movements had momentarily stilled and he suddenly snapped his hips into you. You quickly slapped a hand over your mouth to stop the loud yelp that came from you from being too loud.

He smiled, obviously pleased at your reaction. His pace became a little erratic as you tightened around him again. “Jesus, Carmy, I’m so close,” You breathed out.

“Mhm, me too, baby, me too,” He said softly, carding fingers through your hair and murmuring other sweet nothings into your ears.

Heat spread under your skin as you realized how close you were to your climax. “Gonna cum, ah, ‘m so close,” You groaned, hands going up and pushing into his hair. You tugged at the ringlets as soft, pleased noises left your lips.

“That’s right, baby, go ahead and cum on my cock,” He said, nipping at your neck.

With one more thrust of his cock, you came undone. You threw your head back in pleasure and moaned, your walls fluttering around his length as you rode out your orgasm.

Carmen gasped a little, pulling out of you quickly, his come spilling out onto your stomach.

“You’re good, you’re so fucking good,” He whispered, capturing your lips in a kiss, his hands cupping the sides of your face.

You laughed a little as he kissed you, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

A little more kissing, a little more touching, and you were falling asleep in his arms.

#my writing #carmen berzatto x you #carmen berzatto x reader smut #the bear #the bear x reader #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen x sydney #smut #x reader #carmen berzatto smut

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writers-potion · 2 months

Note

I have a character that is more of an entity than a human being, so he doesn’t have a heart, nor can he sweat or have any organs

It’s hard for me to describe things like “he felt his heart sink” or other expressions like that, since in the back of my mind I’m thinking “he doesn’t have a heart” ya know? Even if it’s figurative speech

My ask is: any tips on how I can describe his feelings in more impactful ways, working around the fact he’s not human? (Detail, he wants to be human)

Human Feelings for the Non-Human Character

So, I take it that you have a character who:

Lacks physiological features usually associated with expressing emotions,

But is overall humanoid, which means he doesn't have other special body features (like a tail that he can wag) that allows him to convey his feelings.

Limit the Range of Emotions

Does the fact that your character lacks organs mean that he cannot feel the full range of human emotions?

If yes, broadly categorize the emotion groups into: (1) Feelings he understands, and (2) Feelings he doesn't understand.

For Feelings Understood by Him:

Use body language

Use quirky habits

Use other body features

For Feelings NOT Understood by Him:

Describing shock, surprise and confusion

Borrow other characters' expressions

Use Body Language

Body language is a great indicator of emotion. Even if your character cannot truly feel the bodily effects of an emotion, he may exhibit the same body language displayed by normal humans. This is especially if he lives around other, "normal" people.

Instead of his "heart sinking", he may "start shaking", "feel his throat clench", "find himself wordless", "go completely still", etc. to express shock.

Use Quirky Habits

Describe a few quirky things that your reader can rely on to see how your character is doing. This is a good place to describe how he's different, or wants to be human, too.

Shredding tissue/paper to bits and eating it (I mean, he doesn't have organs, so I'm supposing he can't get sick from this) when he's nervous.

Listening to heartbeat sounds on YouTube when he's happy, imagining the sound coming from his chest.

Running non-stop for hours and hours when he's worried and want to clear his mind

Use Other Body Features

Even if he doesn't have typical body parts, we must make do with what he does have. Since he has fewer organs, all of his senses would be highly concentrated on those:

Feeling the fluids in his abdominal cavity churning when he's nervous (no organs, but I'm assuming his middle is filled with something?)

Feeling all the specific bones ache/creaking when he is angry

All of his hairs standing up, etc.

Describing shock, surprise and confusion

All other feelings that's not fully understood, or one that is being felt by him for the first time will just be shock and confusion.

In addition to the three strategies above, focus more on the mental panic that he will feel, being confronted with a situation where he doesn't know himself.

If he's in a situation where he desperately wants to feel what the others are feeling, make him try his best to mimic them, observing them in detail.

Borrow other characters' expressions

Just because someone doesn't feel something doesn't mean he cannot understand it logically. We humans "know" that we should be feeling a particular way in given situations even without sympathizing with the other fully.

Thus, let your character use stock phrases like "my heart sank" by borrowing the words of someone he spends a lot of time with. Perhaps his mother, who was afraid he'd get bullied as a child, actually taught him to express himself like others, memorizing the "right" emotional reactions like how you'd learn vocabulary.

Hope this helps! :)

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