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xhdream · 22 days

Text

baby all mine

pairing: streamer!keeho x fem!reader

genre: smut wc: 1166

cw: sub!reader, fingering, spanking, exhibitionism kink, praise kink

Keeho’s hand loosens up the tie around his neck as he stares at the computer screen. The movement radiates frustration as he pulls and tugs roughly.

“I swear to god…” He leans back in his chair, his right leg is bouncing up and down under the desk - a sign that he’s slowly loosing patience. The bright light of the monitor picks up on every twitch of his sharp facial features, but that only emphasises their attractiveness.

“Stop talking about my girl y’all, that’s not cool. I can see the comments you know?”

His lips form a smile; a forceful one which is quite different than his usual expressions during his streams.

The comments keep piling up.

show her to us bro

i bet she’s hot af

if i were you i wouldn’t be here rn

“Nah, forget about it,” he scoffs, “that’s not happening.”

we saw her ass once let us see the rest

didn’t she show it off on purpose anyways ???

she wants to be seen

… and after that comment he starts noticing it too. You didn’t dislike the attention from the viewers. You keep bringing him snacks and drinks during his streams knowing the camera will catch your swaying hips, your seductive thighs exposed from the loose little shorts. The mic always picks up on your gentle voice, leaving the people want more.

It’s almost like you’re having a secret game with them and he’s the one left out.

“Your viewers really like me.”

Keeho shoots you a quick glance. You’re leaning against his desk, dressed in one of his shirts. He doesn’t need to look at the comments section to know they’re blowing up with questions about you.

He proceeds with the game, but the way you step closer distracts him, and clicking the keyboard becomes more and more difficult.

Your back is now captured from the camera; your bare legs are on display. One quick move and Keeho’s shirt will expose your panties to everyone.

His eyes accidentally look at the comments which make his blood boil.

“They like your ass.” His big hand lands with a smack on your butt cheek.

It feels good - showing people that he can do that while the only thing they can do is jerk off pathetically to the thought of you.

“They want me.” You speak out the second word more firmly and clearly. Emphasising the facts.

You lift one leg and swiftly straddle your boyfriend’s lap. His chair moves backwards a bit as his hands leave the keyboard to get a hold of your hips.

The surprise on his face is apparent, but it quickly melts away after you kiss him. You humm from the pleasant dancing of his lips that leads yours, as his fingertips grip the sides of your body with more eagerness.

You break the moment, then look into his eyes. They’re still gazing at your lips and even your next words can’t shift them away.

“Show them who I belong to.” You place a wet kiss under his earlobe, feeling him get harder under your clothed cunt. Each word you say is a new wave of adrenaline rush that floods his veins. “You owe me, baby.”

His fingers fidget with the shirt, dragging it slowly up your waist to expose more of your skin to the camera; more of the pink lace of your underwear.

“I do,” he breathes out. “I do.”

The number of viewers watching grows bigger with each minute, but only Keeho can see it, because he’s standing next to the gaming chair while you kneel in it, being streched out by his long fingers. He doesn’t need to move them too quickly to prove how wet you are. You’re drenched, and the slow gliding is enough to produce lewd sounds that reach the audience just fine.

“Goddamn it, baby,” he pulls them out, slapping one of your cheeks. Your ass is on full display, showing off his handprints in pink color as his shirt is scrunched up at your waist. “You’re soaking wet for everyone to see.”

He swipes through your puffy folds with one finger to collect from your essence, then sucks on the digit, savouring the sweet taste.

“Looks like my pretty girl likes showing off her pretty pussy, huh?”

You humm in agreement meanwhile Keeho spreads you out nicely with his two big hands, allowing everyone to see you in all your glory. The arousal is glistening, gushing out of you as your desires grow every time he touches you.

You wonder how many people are touching themselves to you right now; do they want to see you cum, and do they wish they could see your boyfriend fill you up?

“All mine.”

He shoves his fingers inside you again, curling them more harshly this time. Your voice cracks in the middle of your moans when he begins to thrust them in a wild possessive speed, causing your arousal to drip down your inner thighs.

“Fuck, fuck, f-fuck, baby… so good—“ you babble uncontrollably with your desperate fragile voice. The slamming of his hand causes your cheeks to jiggle in front of his eyes simultaneously filling the room with skin on skin slapping in addition to the wet noises from your cunt.

At first Keeho thought he wouldn’t be able to listen to you knowing there are hundreds of other people hearing your moans too, but since the moment you opened your legs for him, he hasn’t thought about those people. Your sounds are still just for his ears only.

You’re seconds away from cumming for him.

“Ah, ‘m gonna—“ your jaw falls open for a silent scream that puts an end to your incoherent sentences. It leaves you only whimpering and panting.

The sensation has you barely holding onto the back of the chair. Your thighs shake, your voice too, as you whine from Keeho’s rough fingers pushing against your g-spot with full force till your climax fades down.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so pretty…” Keeho mutters under his breath. His hard cock has been putting pressure on him for a while now, it starts to become unbearable, and it’s showing in his heavy breathing. “The prettiest girl with the most perfect pussy.”

He empties your swollen hole, and you gasp from the feeling. He observes carefully how it clenches from the absence of his hand, how it leaves a string from your juices connected to his fingers that he breaks by licking it off. He groans from pleasure meanwhile your mouth waters at the sight of the tent in his pants.

“Baby, I need you.” Your one arm reaches for Keeho’s crotch, caressing his bulge, but even your palm squeezing his dick doesn’t affect him as your doe eyes glowing with lust and yearning do.

You sense Keeho going to his desk. You stay in one place since you prefer to keep your face private and wait for him to give you a signal.

“The show is over, perverts.”

! please do not repost, copy or translate my works

#p1harmony hard thoughts #p1harmony hard hours #p1harmony smut #p1harmony x reader #p1h hard thoughts #keeho hard thoughts #keeho smut #keeho x reader #p1h smut #p1h x reader #piwon smut #piwon x reader

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txmxkis · 2 months

Text

can't take my eyes off you

pairing. kuroo tetsurou x gn!reader

genre. fluff

wc. 1236........

warnings. HIGHLY self indulgent as usual, basically self ship coded but hopefully still entertaining and relatable, reader has confidence/self worth issues, sappy af, almost certainly has grammar mistakes

a/n. based on me hating being photographed irl. also why is writing so fun but so scary. TENSES ARE SO HARD

“tetsurou. if you take one more goddamn picture of me, i swear i’ll—"

the sound of his phone camera capturing a picture cuts you off mid sentence, followed immediately by your huff of frustration.

"you'll what, hmm? you don't scare me."

he flashed you a big cheesy grin, all the while still pointing the camera at you. you scowl at him, ready to risk it all and attempt a lunge at his phone in order to stop this madness.

you hated having your picture taken and he knew it, but for some reason he chose to ignore that fact, as if possessed by the need to piss you off. he could be really good at that when he wanted to be.

as soon as you initiated your plan of attack, your hand getting tantalizingly close to the offending device, he pulled it just out of reach. hopelessly, you flopped back onto the bed, groaning in frustration.

“why do you hate me."

“now now. would my camera roll be full of someone i hate?"

“if you were planning to kill me, yea. besides, i dont think having hideous pictures of me is exactly helping your argument.”

he just rolled his eyes in response.

you heard the shutter sound once more while your defenses were down. the last straw.

before he had time to react, you grabbed the nearest blanket and covered your head with it, holding on tightly so that he couldn't expose you to humiliation all over again. you probably had a better chance of ruining his plans by hiding than by trying to overpower him anyway.

“hey! get back here!"

his attempts to uncover you were met with shrieks of protest and a tightened clutch on the blanket. not to mention a few wild jabs of your limbs into the air, which if he hadn't so skillfully dodged, might have hurt just a little.

“fine. time for me to look through these and admire the fruits of my labor."

you cringed at the thought of how the pictures looked. how you looked. most of them were probably blurry anyways because of the thrashing that you were doing to escape the lense, thank god.

maybe you could persuade him to get rid of them. maybe you could sneak into his phone later and delete them yourself. maybe—

“you're beautiful, you know."

all thoughts of treachery came to a screeching halt. after sitting there with your mouth open in shock for a good few seconds, you shook your head, moving the blanket with it.

“nuh uh."

“yuh huh."

“nope."

“without doubt."

his tone of finality made you want to scream your throat sore, but instead you lay there quietly, silently disagreeing with him again.

it was relatively quiet for far too long after that, with quiet cackles drifting over from the other side of the bed being the only sound you could hear from underneath your shield. presumably brought on by pictures that were extra stupid. not to mention revolting.

your thoughts were spiralling right along with your mood now, eyes almost welling up with tears, but you stubbornly pushed them back. it seemed ridiculous to get this worked up over something that wasn't necessarily that serious. kuroo was just trying to be playful and you knew that. it was hard not to feel this way, though, especially when it came to something that was such a big insecurity.

he sighed loudly, snapping you out of your head momentarily.

“can you please come out from under there? i swear the camera's not open. i put the phone down and everything.”

“liar."

“am not! i just wanna see your pretty face with my own eyes now."

you grumbled a weak protest before relenting.

“fine. but i swear if you—"

“would you just hurry up already."

“oh my god, alright."

you slowly pulled the blanket from your face, and you could see that he was telling the truth. for now at least. he was lying there right next to you, already staring, as if straight into your soul. god, you wanted to shrivel up and disappear immediately.

“it's rude to stare, you know."

“don’t care."

you felt so awkward and exposed, and the only thought in your mind now was getting out of this conversation.

you started to try and untangle yourself from the blankets and get up out of the bed, only to feel your own arm being pulled out from under you. falling back next to kuroo, you covered your face and made a noise of frustration.

the first thing you saw after pulling your hands from your face again were those amber eyes still fixed on you, a slight grin on that smackable face.

“ummmm, hello? can I leave?"

he shrugged.

“you can do whatever you want."

you tried to sit up and leave again, only to be pulled right back down next to him a second time.

“i- what's happening right now?”

“good question. i changed my mind, you don't get to leave anymore.”

you masked your face with a deadpan expression, only because you were desperately trying to avoid giving him the satisfaction of seeing you crack a smile.

“are you serious right now?"

“as the plague."

at that, you couldn't help but snort.

“and why is it that you're trapping me here?"

“i decided that you have to lie here and listen to me tell you why you're amazing."

“yea, sure, whatever you say."

“i really can make you a list if you want. although i think it would take less time to make a list of reasons why i don't like you."

“i pick that one."

“ha! nice try. hmm, now let's see... you're endlessly stubborn. quiet and standoffish with most people.”

you raised an eyebrow. maybe this wouldn't be so difficult after all.

“though still kind to everyone who deserves it. alluring. determined. passionate even when it's hard. you care so much that it's scary sometimes. ”

you avoided eye contact. okay. at this point you were starting to feel far too exposed again.

"you try way too hard to keep people at arm's length, but if they're lucky enough to be loved by you, they're taken care of whenever, wherever. you're smart, even if you don't think it's true. stunning as well as irresistible.”

when he said that, he caressed your cheek while you basically became one with the mattress.

“and so independent that it feels like you don't need me around sometimes. but also soft and gentle and giving.”

his voice had dropped almost to a whisper when he spoke those last words. at this point, your face was nearly burning off. you were almost sure that he could feel the heat radiating from you.

“okay, okay—"

“and, oh yea, did i mention beautiful? enough to be my wallpaper."

he picked up his phone and flashed it at you, a slightly blurry picture from not twenty minutes before illuminating the screen. you could tell he was proud of himself from the smug grin stretched across his face.

“you're an ass."

“come onnnnn, you love me, admit it.“

right then, your chest swelled with affection for him, so much that it felt like you could suffocate. still, you paused just long enough for him to start acting offended, before smiling softly and speaking quietly.

“yea, i really do. thank you, tetsurou.”

thank you for reading! <3 — txmxkis

#kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kuroo fluff #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu fluff #hq fluff #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu scenarios #hq imagines #hq drabbles #hq scenarios #what up its ya boy with more self indulgent as fuck writing #i just want him to love me into loving myself yk #anyways happy valentine's day!!!#screams and runs away #[☂] — rini writes!

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sarah-yyy · 5 months

Note

Jie jie are you going to do a rec post for SOKP?

aight!! i got this ask two?? three?? weeks ago, but never got round to doing this because work has been fdjkhdsghskjf, but here y'all go

what: period cdrama // completed // 38 eps, roughly 40 mins each (+ one bonus epilogue ep, about <10 mins) where: iqiyi (standard disclaimer that i don't watch with subs so i don't speak to the quality of eng subs)why: villain (of sorts) reincarnation fix-it, what's there not to like?? incredibly attractive cast.

this is jiang xuening. she is, as you can probably guess, the empress. there's been a coup. it's headed by her ex-best friend (who was in love with her until his family got massacred and she chose to leave him to pursue her dream to be empress) who resents her + a bloodthirsty advisor to the emperor. the only man she's ever loved (not the emperor ofc) hates her and is in prison because of her. her life is hell. she knows she has no way out. she trades her life for her imprisoned lover-

-and wakes up 18 again.

because jxn is not stupid, now that she's got a chance to do things again, she immediately decides this time she's going to do better!!

firstly!! she's going to be good to her bff yan lin!!

yan lin's family was massacred before?? not this fucking time!! not on jxn's watch!! she's got a few months to get her shit together and fix this for him!!

"this sounds too easy, sarah, it's a reincarnation fix-it, she's got cheat codes," you say? you're wrong. did you expect jxn to pay attention to anything in her first life beyond clawing her way up to the position of empress?? hell no. she knows the what, the when and the how - she's missing so much of the whys, which is probably important if she wants to stop it from happening.

in the meantime!! my girl's got other problems to deal with!!

in her first life, she died a really goddamn tragic life in the palace. when she was rebooted into life #2, she made the decision to stay tf away from the palace and everyone associated with it. no jxn in palace = no jxn dying in the palace. easy peasy!! foolproof. no way she can mess this up.

she ends up in the palace as the princess's study buddy 🥰 ofc she does, because jxn just can't get a goddamn break. thank you yan lin and co for meddling. 😊

while she's there, she accidentally seduces befriends the princess.

princess was in love with a crossdressing jxn in life #1 and got Really Pissed Off about it when she found out jxn was in fact not the man of her dreams (or a man at all). she made jxn's life in the palace hell in life #1.

jxn: this time around i just won't dress as a man!! no male!jxn = no princess falling in love!! princess: fool. this time i'll love the female you 🥰

ykw? works for jxn. as long as she's not dying, everything is fine. girlfriend +1 it is then!!

while we're on the topic of sorting out her relationships while she's in the palace, let's talk a little bit about zhang zhe, aka the only man she ever loved in life #1

this is zhang zhe, low ranking officer in the ministry of justice. as straight-laced as they come. excellent cheekbones. in life #1, had a Soft Spot for jxn and did some stuff against his conscience for her. in this life, she's determined not to ruin him!! he's like her 白月光

ANYWAY these two meet again in the palace when he saves her life when she's being framed for treason. immediately, jxn is all 😍🤩 over him again. why would she not!! he was her biggest regret in life #1!! she literally died to save him!! (for those of y'all who expect to have SL syndrome over him, prepare to be WELL-FED, these two have a long arc)

alright y'all know how i said jxn was in the palace to be the princess's study buddy? well!! let's meet their teacher:

xie wei. advisor to the emperor. resting bitchface 10/10. petty af. occasionally feral and murderous 🥵. they were sort of briefly acquainted way back when they travelled to the capital together and jxn saved his life when he was having an Episode (long story short, bb boy is Unwell). the last face jxn saw in life #1 when she took her own life. you guessed it, he's aka the bloodthirsty advisor who staged the coup in life #1.

jxn is (rightfully) quite afraid of him. she tries her best to stay out of his way, but he's trying to sound her out (because she knows his ~secret) to see if she's friend or foe, so they end up in each other's paths more often than not, including important times such as these:

when jxn is trying to thwart a plot to frame yan lin's dad for treason

when xie wei is committing murder

when jxn is heart broken over zhang zhe

they kind of form an alliance!! in jxn's mind, xie wei and yan lin staged the coup together in life #1, so their interests must sort of be aligned!! plus!! xie wei is hella smart!! he'll know what to do to stop yan lin's family from getting masacred!!

ANYWAY that's the gist of the story - i've avoided most of the spoilery parts i think.

there's also the typical cdrama villains you'd expect in a show like this: evil empress dowager, power-hungry prime minister, spoiled brat daughter of the prime minister who is also scheming to be queen, evil uncle of the king trying to usurp the throne etc etc. all the things you need to prop the Palace Evil Schemes up.

i've seen some people say this is a 低配 version of love like the galaxy, which, ykw? fair. 😂 lltg is written better. sokp was a fun watch, though!! y'all know i am into reincarnation plots, and am basically predisposed to liking most of bai lu's dramas. and!! this show ends on such a good note!! i've been tricked into so many ~vague endings this year that this was so so so good to get <3

some of the parts dragged a bit for me (i am p meh about zhang zhe, i mean i get the appeal, but he's not doing it for me), but it wasn't bad! i liked xie wei's character enough to sit through a lot of things. could've done with like 300% more yan lin and the princess, but we can't always have what we want!!

#story of kunning palace #sokp #宁安如梦 #cdrama #tv rec

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halsteadlover · 9 months

Text

Shadows From The Past

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Fem!Reader.

• Requested by anon: I don’t really know if this is how you make a request if it’s not correct me but would you possibly be able to write one where Jay has an episode because of a criminal that took tours in Afghanistan as well, like an episode in the show in season 5 I think. Where the criminal gets shot and dies and J is the only one there and you go to check up on him and he points gun at you because he’s having an episode idk I really don’t know, but could it end in him apologizing a lot and feeling really bad then just cuddles?? Thank u and uh if you see this could you pls just remind me when it’s done possibly. Thank you so much!!!❤️

• Warnings: mention of blood, gun, PTSD.

• Word count: 5825.

• A/N: hi everyone! Long time no see. I know this is ugly af but I tried my best. I hope you’ll like this piece anyway, please let me know what you think. Comment, like, reblog if you want this would be amazing! Thank you so much for your support, and for everyone who stayed even if I upload once every 100 years 😭 I love you all so much ❤️

Jay had always tried to do his job the best he could, giving everything in his power to every case he worked on, always trying to focus on nothing but bringing justice to the poor victims. He had always tried to be as objective as possible, leaving emotions out and thinking and planning every move to make lucidly. Some cases were easier, others a little less.

There were moments of his life, some shadows of his past, that still echoed in his present. They sometimes came back so strong and overbearing, they made him risk his present, all his progress and happiness, even his future.

And the case he was working on was one of those moments.

Following the discovery of a man's body, Intelligence was assigned to investigate this case. After questioning witnesses, analyzing the victim's life, talking to family and friends, suspicion fell on a person Jay met while serving overseas in Afghanistan. In fact, Don Stanton had served in the 3rd Battalion of the 75th Ranger Regiment at the same time as Jay, but he had never had the opportunity to speak in depth with him.

In fact, after returning home, Don didn't do too well, soon spiraling into drug, alcohol and illegal dealings.

From the moment they found out about this suspect, Jay felt something stir inside him, though he didn't know exactly what. He tried to disguise it or he would’ve estranged from the case but he couldn't hide his feelings from you, who knew him like the back of your hand and had learned to know every single nuance of him and recognize when something bothered him.

To try to get Don to confess, Jay offered to go undercover, build a relationship with him in a way that would make him trust him, and no one could be perfect for this role except someone who had gone through the exact same shit during the war as Jay.

It goes without saying that you didn’t agree with this decision at all and Voight would’ve even agreed with you if this wasn’t the only lead you got to catch the killer.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” you asked Jay as you adjusted his hidden microphone in his shirt. “You can always back out, someone else will go or we will find other leads to catch him.”

Jay sighed. “It's an undercover operation like any other Y/N, if anyone can do it it's me.”

You looked up at him, your hands still on his chest as you tried to analyze his expression on his face. “No baby, it's not an operation like any other. The suspect served in your own battalion, you met him and you can tell from a mile away you're upset about…-”

“Goddamn Y/N stop it! You've been asking me if I'm okay since this morning! I'm fine, I don't need a babysitter!” he snapped raising his voice and this sudden outburst made you withdraw your hands in shock.

Jay immediately regretted those words the instant he said them. He noticed the sad expression that appeared on your features and felt guilty like few other times in his life. “Baby… Shit…” he sighed again, running his hands over his face in frustration. He cupped your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him. “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I don't know what has gotten into me. I’m sorry baby.”

You remained silent for a few seconds, looking at him for a moment before speaking. “Jay I'm just worried about you, I know it's hard for you but I want to help you… It breaks my heart seeing you like this,” you mumbled softly, your throat tight in a knot, your heart heavy.

“I know, I know, I’m so sorry love. Come here,” he whispered, pulling you into a hug and holding you with all the love he could. “It'll be okay. I can do it. You don't know what people like him are like, like me, he won't trust anyone and if there's someone who can make him confess it’s me. We served together, we saw the same crap, I can understand him,” he continued, pulling away from the hug and looking into your eyes.

You looked at him intensely, as if you wanted to read inside him, trying to discover a shred of hesitation or uncertainty.

“Jay, you are not like him, he is an alleged murderer, drug addict and alcoholic, you are a decorated detective. Don't even think for a second you're like him, okay?”.

He caressed your hair, and then nodded, smiling slightly. “I know, I know.”

“If something, anything, goes wrong you're out, you understand me?” you threatened him, pointing a finger at his chest.

He chuckled, caressing your cheeks. “Yes ma'am. Everything will be fine, I promise.”

If only he believed it too.

The truth was, Jay's mind was racing and image after image, memory after memory, everything seemed to be resurfacing, moments of the past he wanted to forget at all costs but which was about to overwhelm him like a river in flood.

He didn't want to talk to you about it, he knew he'd get over it – just like he had all time – he didn't want to worry you any more than you already were.

While he was in the car waiting for Don Stanton to show up, he read the message you sent and a small smile crept onto his lips.

From Baby D💕, 3.13pm

Be careful love. I'm here for whatever you need. I love you.

That message made the abyss in his heart grow and a feeling of guilt took over him. But the way he loved you, God, he didn’t know what he would’ve done without you.

From Jay, 3:16pm

I love you too babe, more than anything and everyone. Everything will be okay.

He put the cell phone back in his trouser pocket, trying to concentrate exclusively on the case. He sat in the car for about ten minutes before seeing Don in the distance. He looked around suspiciously before approaching Jay's car and quickly getting in.

“Drive,” Don ordered, and Jay gave him a confused look.

“Where? What is going on?”.

Don snapped his eyes at Jay. “Didn't you say you wanted a job? Drive then. Go straight, at the first crossroads turn left, I'll tell you from there where to go next.”

Jay understood there was no way to get an explanation and after letting out a sigh, he started driving, aware that you and the rest of the team would’ve followed him from afar.

After driving for about twenty minutes, he and Don arrived at an abandoned building. It looked shabby and it must’ve been unused for at least twenty years.

“What the hell is going on Stanton?” Jay asked, for the umpteenth time. Don stopped in his footsteps, turning to him, looking annoyed and angry.

“What part of ‘I'll explain in a moment’ you don’t understand?”.

“I won’t do anything until you explain to me what hell is going on. This place is clearly a mile away from legality and I'm not risking my ass for whatever bullshit is going on here. So either tell me what's going on or I'm out.”

Don sighed, glancing between Jay and the building, looking uncertain, even almost frightened. Jay noticed this and realized whatever was going on, they weren't alone and that there was nothing good about that abandoned building.

He approached Jay, walking fast and hands in his trouser pockets. “Then leave.”

“C'mon man talk to me...”.

“Damn it! I'm in deep shit man, I can't back out!” he exclaimed in despair.

“Why? What did you do?”.

They were all at the edge of their chairs as they listened through Jay's microphone conversation, knowing that a little nudge was enough to get Don Stanton to confess.

“Don, talk to me. I can help you, I know you're not doing well, I totally understand. You don't have to do anything, whatever it is...”

“You can't help me… I… I fucking killed a man!” Stanton exclaimed loudly, running his hands through his hair “But it wasn't my fault! They forced me! I… I really needed the money…”

There were some moments of silence in which you and Voight exchanged a look. He confessed, but why didn't Jay arrest him?

“What are we going to do here Don?” Jay asked, trying to stay calm as his heart was pounding.

“They gave me another job. A gang member… They want me to kill him and they’ll pay me almost ten thousand dollars.”

“Don, for fucks sale! No life is worth this money! How can you do this? You were a fucking soldier, you risked your life to protect others, to protect this country and now you're the one hurting people!” Jay exclaimed, more angrily than he would’ve liked.

“I know! I know! They've foreclosed on my house… I'm out of money… I need it man…” Don muttered.

“Halstead what are you waiting for? Handcuff him,” Voight ordered over his mic but Jay didn't seem to listen, in fact, he didn't even seem to be on this planet anymore.

You were worried sick, your stomach was in a vice. You knew Jay couldn't do this, he was too involved to be able to deal with all of this, to deal with his past.

“Voight we have to do something,” you said, turning to your now impatient boss.

“Let's just wait few seconds.”

But when you saw Jay enter the building your heart stopped for an instant and fear took over. Before Voight could say anything, you leapt out of the car at lightning speed, waiting for no one, thinking of no one but Jay.

You pulled out your gun from your holster before entering the abandoned building. It was larger than it appeared externally and at first sight there was no sign of Jay.

Your heart was beating so hard you could hear it pounding in your ears and with every step you took, fear ate you more and more. What the hell was he thinking? Why did he come in here alone with a criminal?

As you climbed the creaking stairs to the first floor, a shot rang out from the walls and you jumped. “Oh my god,” you murmured in a trembling voice before starting to run as fast as possible towards the place where the shot came from. Your mind began to project images of Jay lying in a pool of his own blood, dying, and the very thought made you die inside.

God let him be okay, please.

Once you climbed to the third floor, however, you saw him in the distance but before you could take a step towards him or even take a sigh of relief, a bullet was fired in your direction, forcing you to take cover behind a pillar.

A gun fight with some men ensued, and though you knew you had to focus on saving your own life, you couldn't help but glance at Jay from time to time, noticing him hunched over Don Stanton, trying to revive him.

The rest of the squad arrived at that moment and you managed to take down three men who were shooting at you. You approached Jay while the others explored the rest of the building for anything suspect.

“Jay,” you called but he didn't seem to hear you as he tried to stop Stanton's bleeding, “Jay,” you called him out again but still nothing, no answer. So you placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to make him aware of your presence but that touch made him stiffen and you almost had a heart attack when he pulled out his gun and turned, pointing it at you.

“Woah!” you exclaimed loudly, spontaneously raising your hands to let him know you were unarmed, “Jay, what the hell are you doing?!”.

His gaze was fixed on you but he wasn't really looking at you, his eyes were empty, without the light that characterizes them, his forehead was wet with sweat as his chest rose and fell quickly as if he had run a marathon.

“Jay put that gun down. It's just me. Can you hear me? Everything is fine.”

You continued to speak but your voice reached far into his ears which continued to ring incessantly. You didn't dare take a wrong step, or try to get him to put down his gun because you knew Jay wasn't there right now, that his mind was unconscious and his body uncontrollable. He was still in war and he saw you like an enemy and not his girlfriend.

But that didn't make the moment any less scary.

Jay, the person you most trusted in the world, with whom you felt safest, was pointing a gun at you and anything could trigger him to shoot you. You've never felt so small and helpless, even after facing the most dangerous and depraved criminals, you felt so scared and intimidated.

He'd had similar episodes, where the PTSD made him lose touch with reality, but he'd never come to that, never pointing a gun at you and threatening to hurt you.

“Jay!” you almost screamed and only then did Jay seem to come to his senses.

When he realized he was pointing his gun at you a wave of guilt fully overwhelmed him and he dropped the gun from his hands in disbelief at what he had just done.

What the hell had he been up to? Was he really point a gun at you? The love of his life?

He couldn't believe it, he couldn't believe he was capable of doing such a thing and as he watched your face contorted in an expression of pure fear and terror, as he watched you back away until you ran away, he realized he seriously needed help.

The case was finally closed but never like then it left you an unbridgeable abyss inside you.

Since you'd left that building you'd been trying to avoid Jay even though he'd been trying hard to talk to you. You knew it wasn't his fault, that what happened was just a consequence of everything he'd been through, that knowingly he wouldn't do anything that could hurt you.

But that episode had shocked you more than you could ever admit and the image of that gun pointed at you continued to haunt your mind.

You were at your house, sitting on the couch staring at nothing in particular, contemplating whether to respond to Jay's many texts and calls. You knew you had to talk to him, you couldn't avoid him forever, but you needed some alone time first, to digest everything that had happened.

But when the bell rang you understood this was not going to happen.

You stood up and your heart skipped a beat when you saw through the peephole it was Jay. You took a deep breath and opened the door, realizing you couldn't avoid him forever and sooner or later you had to deal with the confrontation.

Jay was a walking disaster.

He didn't know what to say, what to do, how to act and especially when he noticed the way you kept avoiding his gaze, he panicked even more. You made room for him to enter and he felt his heart break when, in an attempt to say hi, you pulled back slightly.

“Uhm… Hi… Come in,” you murmured nervously before going to sit back on the sofa.

Jay closed the door behind him, walking over and sitting next to you. You brought your knees to your chest and he didn’t miss this gesture, he didn't miss the way you tried to distance yourself from him, how you tried to protect yourself by moving away from him.

“How are you feeling?” you asked feebly, finally looking up at him and a chasm opened inside you as you saw his tired, destroyed eyes, the melancholy expression on his face.

“I'm fine but...”

“No Jay,” you interrupted him “Don't start with these lies, you know I can't stand them. You pointed a damn gun at me, you are definitely not fine.”

You knew it was tough, but it was time for him to face the shadows of his past that kept haunting him, it was time for him to face reality and realize he wasn't good at all, that he kept lying to himself and pretending to be in a state of well-being which, unfortunately, wasn’t true at all.

He sighed and it was him who lowered his gaze that time, unable to look in your eyes anymore. He rubbed his sweaty palms on his jeans before resting his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands. He was silent for a moment before returning to his previous position.

“You're right…” he murmured, almost afraid to admit it aloud, “I… I'm not okay I know, I’ve realized it… But Y/N, darling, I just want you to know I would’ve never done that… I would never hurt you…”

“Jay…” you sighed “I know that, but… But what if you won't regain control of yourself next time? What if you won’t come to your senses and shoot me?”

“No! No! Fuck… This will never happen again, I swear…”

“And how do you know this, Jay?” you asked, a lump in your throat, eyes brimming with tears as you tried to hold them back. “How do you know you’ll be able to stop the next time that in the grip of a similar episode you’ll point a gun at me again?”.

Jay had never experienced a worse feeling in his life. He always promised himself he would given his life to protect you, that he’d do everything in his power to keep you safe, that he’d rather die than know you were suffering.

He loved you more than anyone else in the world, more than he ever thought he’d love someone and knowing he was the one who tried to hurt you, destroyed him. He’d never forget the expression of fear, terror and pure shock with which you looked at him in that damned building, it would’ve haunted him forever.

“I would never hurt you Y/N, you… You are the most precious thing in my life. God, I'd die to protect you…” he babbled in desperation.

“I know, Jay. I consciously know this,” you answered, putting your feet on the ground and approaching him without touching him. “I want to help you, but...”

“But what?” he whispered, his green eyes bright with tears as he looked at you. A tear slid from your eyes onto your cheek but you immediately wiped it away before you spoke again. “You want to leave me right? You are afraid of me?”.

You remained silent for a moment.

“Y/N I… You can't leave me please, I can't do this without you, I need you. You're the only person I'm still here for, helping me through this shit… Please…”

You cried. “I have to protect myself Jay,” you wiped away another tear “I don't want to leave you, God. I love you so much…”

“But you're afraid of me,” he stated, swallowing the lump in his throat. He looked down at the floor and his shoes to try and mask the tears he couldn't control anymore and streamed down his cheeks. He stood up, suddenly feeling suffocated, and ran his hands over his face as he began pacing around the living room.

“Hey…” you said, standing up and approaching him. You placed your hands on his arms to make him stop and he directed his eyes at you. They were red and shiny from tears and God only knew how much it hurt you to see him like this, how much he didn't deserve all that suffering.

You placed your hands on his face, wiping away his tears with your thumbs. “God baby,” you whispered “I hate seeing you like this…”. He hugged you, squeezing you so tight it made you gasp for breath.

You hugged him back, putting your arms around his neck and letting yourself be cradled by that embrace. You stroked his hair while he hid his face in the hollow of your neck, letting go in a desperate and liberating cry.

“It's okay love, it's okay,” you whispered, as you too were crying, “Let's sit down.”

You sat back on the sofa and you hugged him, letting him rest his head on your chest as he let out all the anger – mostly towards himself – and sadness he felt.

“Cry all you want, I'm here. I don't want to leave, I'll always be here with you Jay,” you mumbled, caressing his hair. He wrapped his arms around your chest tighter, as if he was afraid to let you go.

“I'm so sorry my love. I didn't mean to scare you… When…” he sighed “When I realized what I was doing, the way you were looking at me…” he couldn't finish the sentence, because just remembering the expression you had in that moment pushed him over the edge again “God Y/N I will never forgive myself for what I did...” he got up, sitting on the sofa and running a hand through his hair “When I saw your face… That moment I understood I seriously need some help, I don't… I can't risk hurting you, losing you, I don't want you to be afraid of me. I want to be your safe haven, I don’t want you to doubt for even a second I can intentionally hurt you… I… I don't want you to look me with that terrified and fearful look again... I can't...”

“But I'm not afraid of you Jay, I know you were going through a lot , the case was heavy to deal with…” you tried to comfort him.

“Yes you do,” he smiled at you bitterly, eyes and nose still red from crying “No lies remember? You told me before and even now…” he tried to stop crying but failing “You hugged me and you were tense and the thing is, I can't even blame you… It's only my fault for believing all the shit the war brought me could just go away on its own and I will never be able to forgive myself for how I reacted, in that building, when you were putting my mic...”

“You weren't yourself,” you whispered.

“I know… But I won’t let you to suffer the consequences of what happens to me… But on the other hand I'm too selfish to let you go, I love you too much Y/N and I know if you're not here I… I'll never be able to face this alone.”

“But I don't want you to go through this alone,” you retorted, grabbing his hand with yours and intertwining your fingers as your eyes were on his. “Jay I will never leave you… You’re my whole life and I want to be with you at every step you take, I know it will be hard, I know it isn't easy, I know there is a long way ahead but we’ll do it together. I won't leave you alone… I was just scared in that moment, let's be honest, who wouldn't, but I don't want to abandon you, okay? I just need to know you’ll really, really, try to face these ghosts.”

“Absolutely, I don't want to hurt you anymore…”

“No baby, you don't have to do it for me but for yourself,” you didn't let him finish the sentence “Because you went though what no other human being can go through and you deserve to be happy, to fully live your life, to do your job serenely, you don't deserve to wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares. You are strong, one of the strongest people I know and if there is anyone who can do it, it’s you, love, okay?” you stroked his cheek and he nodded faintly.

“Promise me you'll really try? Not for me though,” you continued as he looked at you with all the love he felt for you. “I can take it, past the fear I know it's not your fault baby, you don't control it. I can't even imagine what you're going through, what you saw over there, anyone who didn’t experience it will never be able to, but I swear Jay I… I would die to give you all the happiness you deserve.”

“You are my happiness,” he retorted and you smiled feebly when you saw him calm down a bit “Tomorrow I’ll look for someone and start doing therapy, I promise I'll do it, for you, for me, for us.”

Your smile grew on your lips. “I know you will. I'm so proud of you.”

“So you won't leave me?” he whispered so softly he almost sounded like a child intimidated by the response he’d receive.

“No baby, never, I swear. I'd take a bullet for you if it means to make you happy.”

“Don’t even joke about that,” he mumbled. He placed his hand on yours which was still on his cheek, then bringing it to his lips and leaving a kiss on the back without his eyes ever leaving yours. “I love you so much Y/N, so fucking much I can't even breathe right now. I don't know what I did to deserve you,” you smiled again “I always want to see you smile like that, God… I can't even explain what you do to me. I… I want to make you happy as much as you make me happy. I'm so sorry baby, I'm sorry for everything...”

“Shh, it's okay, it's not your fault I want you to put it in this cute little head. I love you too Jay so much, more than you can ever imagine.”

You stayed on that sofa embraced for and indefinite amount of time, cradled in each other's arms. After some time you managed to get Jay to eat something before letting him take a shower, needless to say he was going to sleep over at your place.

You both got into bed and, due to the exhaustion, the intense emotions experienced that day, it didn't take long for Jay to fall asleep, his head resting on your chest as you held him and hugged him. But you couldn't sleep a wink, the events of that day still clear in your mind.

When Jay woke up in the middle of the night, it didn't take him long to realize you weren't there anymore. He sat up in bed and looked at the time on his cell phone, which read 1:32 in the morning, before getting up and walking towards the living room.

For a fraction of a second he thought he heard a sob but he thought he just imagined it. But when this sobbing sound was accompanied by a sniffling, he knew he didn’t imagine them at all.

He walked quickly to the living room and his heart skipped a beat when, in the dim light, he saw you sitting on the sofa, your knees drawn up to your chest as you cried. He turned on the lights and didn't miss the way you tried - in vain – to quickly dry your tears.

“Y/N… Baby… God, what happened? Are you hurt?” Jay asked after rushing over to you, kneeling right in front of you.

You mentally let out a curse, aware that you wouldn't be able to escape this. “I'm fine,” you replied though, hoping for a nano second he’d buy it.

“Oh baby don't lie to me, you don't cry if you're fine. Please talk to me, are you okay? What happened?” he continued to ask worried. He grabbed a handkerchief from the top of the coffee table and handed it to you, watching you intently as you blew your nose. He sat down next to you and started stroking your hair in an attempt to comfort you.

“Don't worry babe, it's okay. Nothing happened, go back to sleep you're tired.”

“How can you even think I'll leave you here alone?” he said “Wait, I'll go get you a glass of water.”

Before you could object, he was up and in less than no time he returned with a glass of cold water which you drank with pleasure. “You want another one?” he asked and after you mumbled a ‘no’ he took the empty glass from your hands and placed it on the coffee table. “Are you feeling better?”.

You nodded. “Seriously baby, I'm fine, go back to bed.”

“How about you stop lying to me and start telling me the truth? You're making me worry to death love.”

You sighed deeply, feeling the urge to cry coming back. “It's just… It's been a busy day and I needed to vent.”

Jay was silent for a moment, wiping away a single tear that slid down your cheek. “Talk to me baby, I'm here for you.”

You shook your head and then stood up. “No, there is nothing to say. Let's go to sleep, I'm getting tired too.”

“No, we're not going to sleep until you tell me what's going on,” he stood up too, looking at you with such intensity it almost took your breath away. God why did he insist so much, why didn't he just let you cry and forget everything?

“I told you Jay, I was just venting after today.”

“Yes, but it's not only that, I'm sure,” he retorted, taking a step towards you. “Baby don't you trust me? You know you can talk to me about anything, I just want to help you.”

“I-it's not that, of course I trust you.”

“Then talk to me,” he pressed, now on the verge of losing his mind “What...”.

“I don't want to bother you, you already have so much to think about.”

“Y/N I want you to listen to me very carefully now because I won't say it again,” he spoke, placing his hands on your face to force you to look at him. “There is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for you, and nothing, I say nothing, is more important than you. You never bother me and never will. You want me to be honest with you, to ask for help, but you have to do it too, you don't have to be afraid to tell me about something it’s bothering you.”

You started crying again and he hugged you, holding you close as he stroked your hair. “It's alright baby, I'm here. Cry all you want, let it go. I won't leave you.”

“It’s just…” you sobbed at a loss for words, letting go as a wave of guilt washed over you. You placed your hands on his bare chest as he continued to hold you.

“Y/N, please, I hate seeing you like this. What are you afraid of? Why don’t you talk to me?” he whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Because I feel guilty,” you answered so feebly you feared he didn’t hear you.

Jay placed two fingers under your chin, forcing you to look at him. “And why’s that?”.

Another sob escaped your lips and at that point you slightly moved away from him, no longer able to hold his gaze, his closeness. You ran your hands over your face and then through your hair, not quite knowing what to say.

“Because I was fucking terrified! And… And I feel guilty because I know what happened wasn't your fault, you weren’t yourself…” you sniffed as the tears continued to flow in rivers, leaving you not even a chance to talk “I know you’d never consciously do anything to hurt me but seeing you point that gun at me… Jay, I…” you sighed “I've faced criminals, murderers, but I've never been so afraid and terrified as today and for a moment I really thought you’d shoot me. The way you looked at me… God I can't get it out of my mind and I'm hating myself because it wasn't your fault…”

Jay stood there attentively listening to every single word you said as every second that passed he felt a part of himself die.

“That's why I didn't want to tell you about this, because I know you’re blaming yourself for everything and you're already going through so much Jay and I don't want to add this other burden on you...” you continued and at that point he approached you again, putting his hands on your cheeks and wiping away the tears with his thumbs as you did with him.

“Y/N…” he said your name as a little prayer “You really think I don’t know that? I know you, I know when something is bugging you, I know when something makes you feel sad. I saw the way you looked at me this whole evening, the way you were tense and I'm so sorry for putting you in this situation my baby. I hate myself so much for this, you didn’t deserve any of that,” he left a soft kiss on your forehead.

“And I love you so fucking much,” he continued “You're willing to suffer alone just to not make me worry but you don't have to. Your feelings are as valid as mine, you have to tell me when you're hurt, when you feel like crying, when you're scared even if I'm the cause. I want to listen to you and do everything in my power to fix what’s hurting you and I promise I will. We have a long way to go, you said it too, but we can't do it unless we're both honest with each other, if we don't express our fears, our apprehensions,” he said wiping away your tears as you did nothing but keep crying “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me Y/N, you saved me from a chasm that I am trying hard to climb over, you are my lifeline and I want to be the same for you. I can never apologize enough for what I did today, but I promise I’ll do everything I can to put all that shit behind me. But you need to talk to me, okay? You are so fucking important to me and I'm okay if you're okay. I can't focus on anything else if I don't know you’re happy and to know that I need you to tell me everything that goes through your mind, and I will do the same… Okay baby?”.

You nodded and in response you pressed your lips onto his in a sweet, long-awaited kiss before hugging and squeezing him as if your life depended on it. He was right, God was he right about everything.

He was your everything.

Your sun, the love of your life, the reason for everything.

You were his salvation.

You were the light at the end of a dark tunnel, the first breath of fresh air after being underwater too long. You both knew that even in the most difficult moments you’ll be able to overcome everything and that you could always count on each other in joy, fear and pain.

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luddlestons · 2 months

Note

Now you gotta give us an M9 booty tier list with those statements!!!

LMAO ok I will oblige. mighty nein ranked in order of best ass. TO BE FAIR: 7/9 of them have great asses. It's just that Veth and Molly have especially great ones that make up for the two at the end of this list

Veth. Of course. Absolutely. Sad that she's the one who's always at ass height but this just means she knows for CERTAIN exactly what she's got going on

Molly, although the tail whipping around everywhere does distract from his ass a lot.

Jester, and she would absolutely flip her skirt up if anybody felt like doing a comparison or something.

Yasha--extremely powerful glutes. however, her thighs are even more powerful and tend to be the focus for their head-crushing abilities

Fjord, who has no idea he has such a great ass and will frequently do things in tight pants that give way more of a show than he thinks he's giving

Beau, also extremely powerful glutes but she's too thin to really have THAT much of an ass even if it's toned af

Essek, has the same issue as Beau except that he's not actually that toned. Like his ass is fine it's just normal why are you asking???

Caleb. The man has no ass. MAYBE if he ate enough and wasn't so skinny he'd have like 2% of an ass but he's the kind of person who has to be careful sitting on people's laps bc he's so bony

Caduceus is an absolute goddamn stick of a man, you cannot tell me he has any ass to speak of. He's only mildly aware this is a part of one's appearance to care about, so he's fine with this ranking.

anyway there's my silliest character opinions!

#critical role

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blueicequeen19 · 1 year

Text

Payback

Warning: NON-CON? - JJ thinks she’s his gf & she lets him. Cheating. Angst. Toxic af

I heard him come in. I listened as he stripped out of his clothes then crawled into my bed. My bed. Not my sisters. When his warm body met mine under the covers, I shuddered down to my bones.

“I’m sorry, babe. I don’t want to fight.”

I kept my eyes closed as his hands caressed every inch of my curves, gently rubbing and squeezing. His hands found their way under my sleep shirt and rolled my nipples between his fingers until they ached. They weren’t the only thing aching. My panties were soaked.

“I need you so bad. Don’t be mad at me. I’m sorry I left, I just needed a minute to cool down and John B got me drinking.”

I could smell the alcohol on him. I knew they’d had another bad fight. They were toxic. My sister sucked the life and happiness out of everything whereas JJ was warmth and sunshine. I honestly felt bad for the both of them. They’d be so much happier with other people. This is what needed to happen. My sister was always cheating on him. It’s only fair she got a taste of her own medicine.

I remain “asleep” when he tugs my panties down and positions himself between my thighs, flicking his tongue along my clit without hesitation. It takes everything in me to fight the urge to buck and moan. But I maintain the ruse.

“God, you taste so good. My favorite fucking meal.” His fingers pinch my nipples as he licks my pussy, circling my clit with his tongue then sucking it into his mouth.

“I know you’re ignoring me but your body’s not.” His tongue flicks rapidly against my clit and my body tightens. I refuse to make a sound yet.

“Fine. Ignore me while my cocks in you.” I don’t get warning before he’s pushing inside me, the room filling with the sound of his groans as he fills me. I push past the pain, only a small whimper leaving my lips before his face is buried in my hair as he fucks me.

“Goddamn, this pussy is so good I can barely move.” I dig my nails into his shoulders as I turn my face away from his, biting back my cries as he stretches me beyond belief.

“You’re so wet for me, baby. My cock feel good? Why you holding back them pretty sounds? Afraid to admit defeat?” His lips find my neck and I gasp. Then he bites me. Hard.

I cry out, dragging my nails down his back until he growls, rutting his hips into me harder.

“Mark me, I don’t care. I already said I was sorry. What more do you want?” I turn my head quickly and kiss him hard. His caught off guard but I feel his anger start to dissolve. I moan when his tongue thrusts into my mouth and I taste the whiskey. We kiss and fuck until we’re breathless, the ache between my thighs had finally subsided.

“Cum with me.” JJ mumbles against my lips, hiking one of my legs over his shoulder and holding himself up as his pelvis slaps against mine. I throw my head back into the pillow, my body tightening as my climax raced forward.

I didn’t care that I wasn’t on birth control or that he didn’t have a condom on. I didn’t care about anything except this moment that would never happen again.

“JJ.�� I moan his name without thinking.

“I know, baby. Play with your pussy. You’re close.” He cups my jaw, slipping his thumb between my lips just as my fingers find my clit. A zap of pleasure shoots through my body and the I loose the ability to breathe as I climax. I bite down on his thumb but he doesn’t pull away, only fucks me harder until he’s a moaning mess in my ear and I feel a gush of warmth between my legs.

He came inside me.

Because my sister is on the shot.

And he thinks I’m her.

It’s over. The moments over.

“Fuck, you almost ripped my dick off, babe.” JJ goes to kiss me again but I turn my head.

He withdraws him me with a sigh and I quickly clamp my legs closed and turn on my side, covering myself back up as my body shakes with after shocks.

“Please don’t be mad, babe. I love you. I just get so jealous. I hate seeing guys looking at you and talking to you.” JJ groans, rolling onto his stomach and burying his face in my other pillow while still naked. A moment passes and he’s snoring.

I don’t say anything as sleep rapidly approaches despite the mess to come in the morning.

When I wake up, he’s gone. My heart races as I wait for my sister to come in my room and scream at me but she never does. Not even after I take a shower and change out my bloody sheets. I thought I would look or feel different after I lost my virginity but I feel utterly the same. Minus the huge hickey on my neck that takes almost all my concealer to cover.

My anxiety was through the roof. I needed to get this over with. Time to face the consequences. I was ready to get dirty to get even.

I go downstairs for breakfast and am thankful when I find out she never came home last night. I literally sigh in relief when I find her car missing from the driveway. But my peace doesn’t last long because she shows up about an hour later, in last nights outfit. She looks like hell.

We don’t say anything as she ignores me to make a cup of coffee, not bothering to put anything away or clean up her mess. I can smell last nights party and someone’s cologne on her from across the counter.

“Fun night?” I ask, grinding my teeth as I think about her cheating on him again.

“What do you care?” She snaps, not even looking at me as she takes her coffee and goes upstairs. I clean up her mess and just when I hear her shower turn on, the front door opens and JJ walks in.

My heart nearly bursts inside my chest. Oh fuck.

His eyes lock on mine and although his expression is neutral, I know he knows. We remain silent as he walks into the kitchen, pours himself a cup of black coffee and watches me as he drinks it. I couldn’t deal with this.

“Get on with it.” I snap, tying my hair up into a messy bun to stop my hands from shaking. He sits his mug down with a smug smile. My eyes lock on his thumb. Oh god. He has a perfect bite mark all the way around it. From me.

Our eyes lock again and he cocks his head, holding up his thumb.

“You think this is bad? You should see my back.” I can’t say anything as he tugs his shirt over his head and turns, showing me bloody claw marks along his shoulder blades.

JJ turns to face me again, looking satisfied with himself.

“How’s your neck?” He asks, coming closer until he’s directly in front of me. I gasp when he wipes his hand across my neck, smearing the make up.

“Stop it.” I hiss, pushing at his chest.

“Better yet, how’s your pussy?” My cheeks and ears burn as last night flashes in my mind. I can still feel him inside me.

JJ cages me in against the counter, leaning in until we’re almost nose to nose. “You’re probably sore.”

“JJ.” My voice comes off as a whisper, my hand comes up to push at his chest.

“Because I wasn’t gentle.” He growls and my entire body shudders.

“I don’t have to ask if you liked it because I know you did. You let me tear through your virgin cunt and barely made a peep but you sure kept your legs spread and pussy wet.” He leans in until his mouth is next to my ear.

“I bet you even liked tricking me.” JJ whispers, his hand suddenly cupping me over my shorts. I gasp and jerk in his hold but he doesn’t move away.

“You got me good, Y/N. All those times that your sister fucks you over so you get her back by fucking her boyfriend. Kudos to you. That takes balls.” I suddenly hear the upstairs shower turn off and I look to the ceiling before meeting his firey gaze again.

“So here’s the deal. I won’t tell your sister what you did, but you have to keep spreading your legs for me.” I lean away from him, my body shaking uncontrollably as the countertop digs into my back. I can’t even swallow my own spit.

“And I know she cheats on me. The whole island knows. So consider this MY payback.”

Tag list: @lovedetlost @hoebx @strokesofstokes @alizabethcs @carnisidi @famousdestinygarden @i-always-come-back-xoxo @pankowforlife @my-baexht-ls @onmykneesforrafe @slutforsmutsstuff @bethoconnor @hellosexxxysalvatore @mrsjakeseresin @belcalis9503 @maybanks-luver @i-always-come-back-xoxo @adventuresinobx @hopebaker @drewbooooo @itsmytimetoodream @houseofperfecttaste @harlowsgirl @wh0reforstefansalvatore @urmommas @drewbooooo @ogayitsgwen Let me know if I missed anyone! 💕

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ilovemesomevincentprice · 2 months

Text

Vincent Price as Dan Ruffalo

More Dead Than Alive (1969)

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indouloureux · 2 years

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So, I'm totally for the one when the reader is being all supportive of Joseph Quinn and "fuck the haters" when he gains weight, but goddamn it, what about us??? The reader – probably a girl because beauty standards plague us worse – would probably be waaaay more likely to end up like that situation. The man can cook his ass off from what we understand and clearly doesn't skimp on the fine dining. Just thinking about the relationship weight is giving me anxiety. (Don't judge me. I was a teenager in the early 2000s. I'll never have a healthy body image.)

tl;dr: Being deliriously happy with Joe has resulted in weight gain. Your self-worth is inversely affected.

the thing about people and difficult ass beauty standards is yes!! it's hard to feel like you're normal when people have these standards that you "need" to have for you to feel like you belong. it's annoying af and like the people who even say that shit don't even look good themselves

anw enjoy this honey — tw: body image??

the thing that you both hate and love about him is how observant he can be.

he knows when you're upset about something, and he can easily get rid of that frown off your face. he knows when you don't want to talk about it and he can just hold you until you tell him; he knows when something entices you or when something bothers you, and he knows damn well when something's wrong.

patient, he took his time. he watches you from afar, sees how your excitement hinders every single day you come home from work to see him cooking in the kitchen. and there's this painful squeeze in his chest when he doesn't see the anticipating glint in your eyes anymore; when he sees you visibly debate on something he can't fathom. he's only ever good on reading your emotions, anyway.

(reading your mind? still something he needs to master.)

what concerned him more was when he caught you staring at yourself in front of the mirror for too long. eyes dull as if you were in a daze, even though you've got your eyebrows furrowed like you're glaring at yourself. when he'd approached you, wrapped his arms around your bare waist and asked what was wrong, you said that it was nothing, that you thought your shoulders were too slump. joseph knew it was a lie, and opted to lay beside you on the bed quietly as he watched you observe every ridge of your blunt nails.

then when you both went out and ate a bowl of salad and that only. and when you refused to wear your own shirts and wore his because they were larger than you (it's unusual because you wore it to work); when you've eaten half of what he cooked and he ended up feeding the rest to the stray dog outside your home.

things he noticed, observed, and he's had enough of just watching and waiting for you to speak; had enough of watching you hurt yourself without no one to aid when he's right there — the man who's come to sage your breaking heart.

joseph hears your slow and heavy footsteps from outside the hallway, the clinking of your keys as you shove it into the keyhole and twist to open the door. he sets the spatula down, turns the stove off before he's wiping his hands on his thighs and leaves the kitchen to see your tired structure.

and despite your intramural battle, his heart warms when he sees your relieved smile once your eyes settled on him and his cute apron. you kick your shoes aside, keys thrown to a small bowl aside. joseph opens his arms, where you desultorily fall into. your ear right on his beating heart, his arms encasing you like a coat in a rainstorm, all warm and loving as he pulls you to his chest as you let out a deep sigh.

your forehead rubs on his chest. "hi, joey."

"hi, honey," he murmurs, kissing the top of your head. "how's work?"

he senses you tense a bit, only for the rigidness on your shoulders to dissipate when his thumbs caress the nape of your neck. "'s fine. boring. but it was alright. everyone's being..."

judgy he expects you to say. what you want to say.

"being knotty...? they've got a stick up their ass for some reason."

joseph laughs, letting his hands run through the knots in the silk of your hair. "that sucks, love," he jesters, unwrapping an arm around you to guide you to the kitchen.

"what'd you do today?"

"a bit boring too," he takes your bag, setting it aside and rubs the sore spot it left. "cleaned a bit. worked out. and um, cooking."

he should have expected for you to break away from his grasp ever so slightly when he said that. joseph sees your eyebrows raise, weakly reaching up the cupboard to take a glass out. "how long you've been cooking?"

"twenty minutes," he answers, watching you pour yourself a glass of water. he sees the way you drink it in three large gulps, hurried with a shaking hand. "it's done now, though. want to eat?"

you shake your head. his chest pangs. "not. not now. i-um, need to go to the bathroom. 'm not hungry yet."

joseph blinks, gently taking the glass from you and places it on the sink. "yeah sure," he says, placing his hands on your shoulders to guide you to the bathroom inside your room, hands massaging the tension off. "tell me when you want to eat, yeah?"

nodding, you press your cheek on top of his knuckles before you shrug them off and disappear behind the door. and he waits patiently on the bed until he hears the door unlock, seeing your face wet with the collar of his your shirt damp, half your makeup off as you gently wipe your skin with a towel.

with his hands on his lap and a small pout on his face, he sees you grab a shirt of his and your own sweatpants, leaving to disappear behind the bathroom once more. which deepens his frown 'cause you never change there. it was always out here in the bedroom, in front of the mirror while he watched. and the sight of you about to open the doorknob makes him sit up and stand to take your wrist into his hand.

"where you going?"

you furrow your eyebrows. "to the bathroom."

"but you never change there."

"yeah well...you're here..."

a squeeze on his heart. "alright, honey. come on," he takes your clothes off your hands, gently setting it on the bed as he tugs on your hands. you watch as he sits down on the thick mattress, his legs on either side of your thighs, hands tight on yours.

"jo," you chuckle. "i'm gonna get changed. i smell," you sniff your shoulder. "a bit. i smell like rain."

"don't care," he kisses the back of your hands, closing them around his and tucks them beneath his chin. "what's up, bug, hm? you've been sad these past few weeks. you've rarely eaten."

you rub his chin with your thumb, feigning incredulous laughter as if you've got no clue what he's saying. "what are you talking about? i eat. like, everyday."

"yeah, but not alot like you used to," joseph pouts. "is it my food? my cooking's not great these days?"

guilty, you coo silently at the sight of slight shame on his face. "no, honey. cooking's amazing. always been. 's just that..."

there's a pregnant five second pause of you staring guiltily into his eyes that look up at you. joseph's still got your joint hands beneath his chin, your knuckles feeling up his growing stubble. his eyebrows raise as if to say "go on," but your silence meant that you're hesitating. and he beats you to it.

"lovie, you know i won't judge," he gently breaks away from your hands to untuck your shirt. your hands fall limply to your sides as his run up the delicate silk of your top, until his fingers trace your collar. "come on. talk to me please."

a plea that's almost a command. your hands wrap around his wrist when he begins unbuttoning your shirt, eyes still on his that waits for you to speak.

"'just felt like i've gained weight," you murmur when he's at the second button. "i heard some of the guys during lunch how-...how my thighs are bigger than usual. or how my shirt got tighter or how my cheeks have- have grown. or something. i dunno."

it's like his whole body shrinks from how tight your words had gripped his chest, and he wonders how you felt after your confession. by the time he's at the second to the last button, you stop him by grasping his hands tightly. "aw, love,"

"it's probably just stupid—"

"stupid, what?" he scoffs, his hands leaving to place themselves on your waist. "it's not stupid, baby. it's your feelings. it's your thoughts. this will never be stupid," you run your hand through his hair. "how long has this been going on?"

"couple weeks," you mutter, playing with his curls as your shoulders rise and drop into a dismissing shrug. "maybe a month. 's why i haven't really eaten much. sorry if you thought i hated your cooking,"

"no no no," he unbuttons the last buttons, where you allowed him to push his shirt back to expose your bare stomach. "honey, nothing's your fault. it's theirs. you look the same to me, lovie,"

his warm hands caress your stomach, running up and down onto your thick flesh that he rests his chin on. you smile lightly, your throat aching. "i feel, i don't know, like something's wrong. i'm—" you swallow thickly. "like i'm fat, or something."

"you're not fat," he kisses your stomach, nuzzling his nose right above your belly button. "you're the same. you're still you. ignore what they say, honey, they're stupid." joseph looks up at you. "you're beautiful."

"i said i was fat not ugly."

"still beautiful. let me compliment my darling,"

you laugh when he keeps on pressing soft kisses on every part of your stomach with muffled groans. "joey,"

"you are amazing," he squeezes your thighs. "you're not fat honey. if you gained weight, then there's nothing to be ashamed about it, is there," he wrinkles his nose at you. "still beautiful. still accepted. people may not like you but i do. you don't need to care about what they think, eh?"

you take his face into your hands and squeeze his cheeks. "honestly, the whole weight gain thing just means i'm happy with you. fuck whatever they say, right?"

"right," he shakes your thighs. "fuck them. they probably have receding hairlines. 'bout to go bald and they're not even fifty."

you snort, leaning down to tilt his head up and press a feverish kiss on his lips. joseph hums, his hands tight on the back of your thighs. "that was mean," you murmur against him.

"well they were meaner," he kisses your stomach again. "whatcha say, huh? let's eat?"

his heart flips when he sees you nod.

reblogs and feedback are appreciated <3

#joseph quinn blurb #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn x you #joseph quinn x y/n #joseph quinn fluff #joseph quinn angst #joseph quinn fic #joseph quinn fanfiction #joseph quinn #blurb #eddie munson #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfiction

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pigeonwit · 3 months

Note

hello again mr pigeon 'pidge' wit i come to u with a writing req ....... no pressure to write obviously!!!!

but consider ur shitface drunk davey w jack (potentially friends too) at a restaurant ... javey aren't together at this point ... but davey is just a little too drunk and ends up pretty much lying with his head on jacks lap ... cue 'jack, I don't wanna go all the way home all by myself ....... can I come home with you?' and jack being the smitten pushover he is of course lets David 'Lightweight' Jacobs sleep in his bed with him ...

davey wakes up has no recollection of what happened and is SO concerned when he wakes up in jacks bed - jack is shirtless - and oh lord he's SO hungover .... anyway ...

consider also jack waking up and saying 'hey beautiful' and Davey short circuiting and jack shrugging and saying 'well u seemed to like it just fine last night'

sorry for the long af ask but this????? in your writing style!!!!! I would shit myself /pos

roman i have had this in my inbox for so long cause i want to write this so goddamn badly but alas uni is killing me, so that's probably not gonna happen for a while. BUT! i do have little snippets for your convenience, because again, this idea was so fun and i wanted to write it so so badly. hope these can tide you over:

“Davey,” Jack says, far more charmed than he should be, because he is pathetic, “maybe you oughta take a break for a bit, you’re-”

“Don’t worry yourself, handsome,” Davey winks, and Jack immediately feels his stomach drop. They have entered Flirty Drunk Davey, which means Jack is going to be of no help for the entire evening. “I’m a big boy, I can make my own decisions, and I’m deciding to get sloshed tonight.” He drums his hands on the table as he gets up and shoots Jack a finger-gun as he stumbles only slightly. “Livin’ la vida loca!”

Oh, Jack is a sad man. Jack is a weak, pathetic little man who is in love with someone that just said livin’ la vida loca unironically. Jack is a sad, sad man.

[…]

“And iguanodons,” Davey says quite seriously, with one finger raised like a very wobbly professor,“iguanodons, they walk like – like this…”

He shapes each of his hands into three-toed points and leans forward to plant them on the floor.

“Oh, no-” Jack says quickly, taking his wrists and gently pulling him upright. “No, Davey, that’s okay, don’t – don’t crawl on the floor, pal.”

Davey looks at him with the largest eyes Jack’s ever seen in his life.

“But that’s how iguanodons walk…” He says plaintively, like Jack is a monster who is stifling a very important display of science, and Jack is so pathetically gone for him that he’s almost tempted to say, ‘I’m sorry Davey, by all means crawl around on the floor like a dinosaur, I love you so much.’ Christ, he needs to skip town, go somewhere so repressed he’ll never even think about feelings again without curling up and dying of shame. Britain, maybe. Or wherever the Amish live.

“I know, bud,” Jack soothes, rubbing a hand down his back. “You, uh – you just show me later, okay? We’re going inside now.”

[…]

Right. Right. Breathe. Facts. That’s what Davey needs. Facts.

Fact one: he is currently in Jack’s bed, in Jack’s sweatpants.

Fact two: he cannot remember how he got into either Jack’s bed or Jack’s sweatpants.

Fact three: Jack is making pancakes. Shirtless. With a bit of batter stuck to his collarbone that Davey really wants to lick.

(Fact three, subheading: Davey might still be a little bit drunk)

Conclusion: Davey had literally mind-blowing sex last night while more drunk than a Baltic tide and has thus not only ruined the best friendship he’s ever had, but can’t even reminisce over the memory of it to soothe the wound. Fantastic.

#again - the iguanadon thing is a real thing that has happened.#newsies #uksies #(it's always uksies here)#pigeon scribbles #fic thoughts #loiteringandlurking #javey #davey jacobs #david jacobs #jack kelly #javid

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m0rtisxfuchs · 28 days

Note

DEREK BOOTYHOLE HEADCANONS

… okay fine

DEREK ASSHOLE HCS:

- Has a little bit of ass hair but in a peach fuzz way if that makes sense, brown hair ofc unless this mf bleaches his ass hairs too (wouldn’t put it past him)

-Washes it with axe 3 in 1 like the goddamn frat boy he is

-smells like said axe body wash and natural musk normally, but it smells sweaty af when he’s in the desert

-#9D6A5D

-Probably wouldn’t taste that bad tbh, but in the desert there’d probably be some sand that gets up his ass crack so you’d get some texture in there!!! 😋

#this is my life now

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karlyuchka · 1 month

Text

ATLA isn't that great at showing the reality of war and you are ready for this conversation.

You can call me biased for this post, but whatever. I've been silent for too long.

It's certainly better than a lot of other shows, but fans often overestimate how good it actually is. It's excellent at showing more simple things like people getting hurt and traumatized because of war, but when it gets to more complicated things it's not that good.

In the show we got two people opposing to the fire nation. TWO. (Technically more because Jet wasn't alone, but you get what I'm saying). And they're BOTH antagonists. It's great to show that anger can blind you, but couldn't they make at least one character who wasn't somehow affiliated with Gaang who was against Fire nation and was in positive light? It kinda sucks. Also it doesn't make sense that Hama could actually attack military men and she just didn't. Why? She could attack civilians AND military and it could have been much better.

Then we get an entire arc to show that fire citizens aren't that bad, they're also people and they're also victims, blah, blah, blah... And the idea isn't entirely bad, but it was shown like they're just all innocent and can't affect what's happening in their kingdom? If the show authors wanted to show something positive about Fire citizens wouldn't it be better to show that there are some opposition to Fire Lord or something? But no, we get episodes about how the citizens are prohibited to show their true selfs because they can't breakdance and we get propaganda mentioned a little. Obviously it's a kids show and demanding to show 100% how war works is dumb, obviously the writers have to tone it down a little, but it still kinda sucked. This is actually why it's my least favourite season. Like, it looked like literally no one in Fire nation was against war? The opposition wasn't mentioned even in the comics? HUNDRED YEARS war and Fire citizens didn't even try to do anything? This fire school arc just made me despise Fire nation more because it looks like they just don't give a damn. (Don't start on "they're being brainwashed by propaganda". If propaganda is enough to convince you that killing is good than you were never good in the first place).

Jet was portraied extremely weird in Ba Ding Se too. Like... Fire nation is occupying Earth nation, killing and abusing civilians. Jet sees two fire benders in the most secured city. One of them was a war general who actually had this exact city under six hundred days siege. OBVIOUSLY he would try to arrest them. Who wouldn't? Who knows what they're doing there? Why would he believe that they don't want to do anything malicious? But show portraits it like some sort of obsession. Like he was crazy and in the wrong, like "they're not hurting anybody and he's nagging them and wants them arrested for no reason". Jet was being completely logical.

At the end of the show Iroh keeps his tea shop in Ba Sing Se??? What??? The same city he had under siege? And he names it "Jasmine dragon". DRAGON. The literal symbol of Fire nation. HUNDRED YEAR war just ended, I refuse to believe that citizens were completely fine with it.

And in "Legend of Korra" we find out that Fire nation still has an army? It got much smaller, but still it was pretty powerful? After hunder year war? How? WHY?

It's also extremely weird that in LOK they explored goddamn ANARCHISM, but not how Fire nation is treated after the war? It looked like nobody even remembers it. It was mentioned like three times in the series.

Also I read the comics and the creation of Republic city was weird af. Kuvira was terrible, but she was right at one thing: Republic city belongs to Earth kingdom. There was a lot of resistance. In comics this colony was still full of Earth civilians and culture. It wasn't completely mixed. And the argument to not returning the colony to Earth kingdom was literally "we've been colonizing this territory for so long that it can't be yours anymore" wich is dumb. It becomes even dumber when you remember it wasn't the only colony like that. It was mentioned that it was ONE OF THE OLDEST colonies. Which means there were colonies where fire culture was even more integrated. Then why weren't those colonies also turned into "something completely new"? And the resistance stopping resisting was really weird. They were extremely enthusiastic and determined and then just stopped because the Avatar came and told them "protect people, not borders"???

In conclusion: "Avatar" has a lot of flaws which are caused by "love everyone" mindset, wich isn't bad at it's core, but sometimes you gotta hate. And some flaws are caused by writers' inability to understand war and what comes after. The series are amazing, and comics too, but people tend too overlook a lot of mistakes.

Thanks for reading

(no one's reading allat💀)

Also if you disagree, it's completely fine, just know that I will not argue about it. It's my opinion that I thought about for a very long time and I will not change it.

#atla #avatar the last airbender #the legend of korra #war #rant #essay #probably #Ukrainian rage in this one is really strong #I'm sorry #I love atla #uncle iroh #republic city #atla rant #jet atla #fire nation #hama atla

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beauty-and-passion · 9 days

Text

TMA - Chapters 41-50: Everyone is Michael

Hello people, welcome back to the beginning of TMA season 2! Ten more chapters are waiting and I am ready to find out if this season is gonna start with a bang or not.

I have high expectations.

<< Main Masterlist < Previous post

_______________________________

MAG 40.1 - Season 2 Trailer

Oh, a trailer! And it was… absolutely incomprehensible and cryptic af. All I got is that a trapdoor should’ve been locked, which translated from author-to-reader means: “The trapdoor is open and some weird supernatural shit will come out of it during the season”.

Well played, Mr. Sims. Now I really want to know more.

_______________________________

MAG 41 - Too Deep

Ooooh, statement of Jonathan Sims? And it’s about the recently discovered tunnels! I love that we start season 2 directly from where we left in season 1: Jon is recovering, Jane Prentiss is recently dead (I suppose they burned her, considering the ashes) and there are a shit ton of tunnels to explore.

Also, Jon is now paranoid. Great, that’s exactly what he needed.

Jokes aside, this is an amazing choice from a writing perspective, because it’s perfectly justifiable. Jon got assaulted by Jane Prentiss and her worms on July 29th, now it’s September 2nd. It’s been a little more than one month, of course he’s still haunted by the idea that Jane (or other things) might be alive and spying on him.

Even if the feeling of being watched is not just paranoia. I bet everything that it’s Big Brother’s fault for that.

And just to confirm my words, it seems that the Archives have been built on part of this ex Millbank prison, which was built by following the idea of the Panopticon. You know, the prison centered around the idea of making the prisoners feel like they’re always watched, thanks to the central tower.

I love the idea of the Panopticon: it’s extremely cool and I’m very happy to see it here too… but it also proves I am right and Big Brother is some supernatural shit who watches everyone and has something like one million eyes or whatever.

The goddamn weird tunnels. And what about that incorporeal voice telling Jon to leave, right after inviting him to go down? I am extremely curious now, I want to know more! Who was it? Big Brother? Another supernatural shit?

Ah, so Jon will now add supplements to the statements, hide them from his staff just like he hid the existence of the second tape recorder and will put these parts away with precise instructions for his replacement, in case he dies. Great, so he’s this paranoid. Basically one step away from being pathological.

Fine, from one side, I can understand him because he faced some heavy shit not too long ago and he cannot trust anyone. So his sentence “Trust can get you killed” is understandable.

But I also watched Gravity Falls and I’ve learned that “trust no one” doesn’t help, especially if there is a demon watching/haunting you. So please, Jon: please. Be safe. Don’t pull a Dipper Pines on us. Don’t force me to start calling you Jon Dipper. Or Jipper.

And trust someone before some bad shit happens. You’re trying to find Gertrude Robinson’s killer and we all know it was Elias (don’t “first suspect” me and yourself, we both know it was him). So, since Elias already killed one person and he’s in cahoots with the Lukas family, you REALLY need as many allies as possible.

_______________________________

MAG 42 - Grifter’s Bone

Here we are, back with simple, meh statements. This time, it’s “weird supernatural band kills with their weird supernatural music”. It’s a shame we don’t see how they do it, I would’ve loved to see the whole process. But I also understand that leaving this to the reader’s imagination is a good choice to make something scary.

Also, Alfred Grifter looking up after the massacre and asking “Encore?” is probably the most badass move of the series until now. He might be some minor supernatural shit, but that was a real power move. I respect him a little bit after this.

Glad to notice Jon’s skepticism is back too, but after the end of season 1, now I know why he does it and I understand. Also, his skepticism doesn’t seem as “stubborn” as before and that’s another great writing choice because it shows how all these supernatural shits are affecting him.

Also, since Jon is in Paranoia Land now, I suppose that emphasizing skepticism helps him hide his true intentions, which are… sigh, controlling Martin. Seriously, can this poor guy take a vacation? First the worms, then Jane Prentiss, now Jipper. Martin can’t even be competent, that his boss will question it - all while insulting his poetic skills. The paranoia made Jon even more of an asshole than before.

What? Martin is worried about the others finding out he’s been lying? Lying about what? Jane Prentiss? His supposed incompetence? His poetic skills? His need to go on vacation? In any of these cases, don’t worry, Martin: just take your stuff and go as far away from this Institute as possible.

I still dream something like this for Martin.

_______________________________

MAG 43 - Section 31

I feel Basira will be a recurring character from now on. I mean, she is currently working on Gertrude’s case and she is a Section 31 - i.e. she dealt with supernatural shits before. But she’s not the only one: we also have Alice “Daisy” Tonner, who came in contact with “spider husks” and, for me, that means one thing only: “Spider Mom & gang”. So I bet these two women will probably be involved again with any other supernatural shit happening in this Institute.

It was also very cool to find out the name of the guy from MAG 12: Diego Molina. And I remember that, when he and Gerard were brought to the hospital, Gerard asked if Diego had “a small book bound in red leather and a brass pendant with an eye design”. The eye pendant is probably related to Big Brother, while the red book basically confirmed it was one of Leitner’s chaos books. I already suspected this considering Gerard was after that, but glad to see an implicit confirmation.

Speaking of the supplement, Jon gained access to the tapes in Gertrude’s room and I’m glad about that because we will surely find something cool and scary. But I’m also sure that’s the easiest way for Jon to get himself killed, so I’m a bit scared for his life.

Also, how weirdly cute is this part?

“I only ever spoke to Gertrude once or twice during her time as archivist. I-I was very new. I don’t remember what her voice sounded like.”

Jon sounds so young, here. Almost like a child. I mean, I imagined he was in his thirties or something, but I actually have no idea how old is he. Is he younger? How old is he?

Also, it’s just nice to see this little moment of him being so… soft and human, with his predecessor. He barely knew her, he barely spoke to her, he probably looked at her and saw just an older, stern figure. But now, he’s in the same position. They became a lot closer than they ever were. It’s fascinating - and there’s a lot of potential for angst too, so I’ll brace myself for it.

_______________________________

MAG 44 - Tightrope

A statement recorded by Gertrude! it was such a pleasant surprise to finally hear her voice! And she sounds amazing <3

As soon as I heard it was a statement from a guy in Algasovo, I felt it was connected to something I already knew. I remembered there was a circus mentioned in season 1 and, after a little bit of research, I found it: MAG 24, Цирк другого: the Circus of the Other. Ringmaster Gregor Osinov and organist Nikolai Denikin - whose granddaughter recorded the abovementioned statement.

Sure, here it’s called Другой Цирк, which is correctly translated as “Another Circus”. So my question is: which is correct? Did the circus change its name? MAG 44 is from the 70s, while the photo mentioned in MAG 24 was from 1948. Maybe the circus was called Цирк другого, then it changed its name after Denikin left and became Другой Цирк. Anyway, it was very interesting to read and I was so sure it was the smae circus mentioned before (despite the different names). So when Jon mentioned Gregor Osinov, my smile grew bigger than ever :D

Speaking of Jon, he asks some very interesting questions: Gertrude knows a lot more than it seems. And she didn’t finish recording everything in the archive. Why? Was that her way to oppose Big Brother/the Lukas family/the “crimson curse”? Maybe Big Brother can “eat” these statements, so by stopping her recordings, Gertrude was voluntarily leaving it hungry, as a sort of “fuck you, I won’t get eaten by you” kind of thing.

Or maybe she just wanted to not do her job anymore, thus provoking the Lukas family to fire her for not doing anything. Or maybe she was just too busy trying to find a way to escape, to record statements like an insane you-know-who who keeps recording stuff because he wants to find out the truth even if the truth can get him killed.

Did someone find Jon’s tapes? Or is he in full Jipper mode and maybe the drawer wasn’t even ajar? In any case, now he’s hiding them too, which reminds me of Gertrude and her secret hidden library and I don’t like the parallel at all. I don’t want to see Jon dead on a chair, in a room, surrounded by his secret library.

_______________________________

MAG 45 - Blood Bag

Another meh statement, even if this time I’m quite perplexed by the weird turn of events.

I mean, once Dr. Thompson sold his syringe, there was a sudden spike in heat, the ‘haemoglobish’ became real blood and the mosquitoes decided to wait for their moment to kill the doctor. They’re a lot of weird consequences and they don’t seem too connected either - especially the heat. Why is there always some heat involved?

While speaking of the mosquitoes planning revenge… yes, this is the most plausible thing. These little bitches always plan revenge on everyone.

So, the doctor’s buyer is “Indonesian, I think, or Samoan”. It’s Salesa, isn’t it? Yep, Jon confirms it. Well, I suppose he will be another recurring character. And if Gerard can smell Leitner’s book, Salesa can smell any supernatural shit and make a profit from it. In this case, I suppose the syringe was a real lucky charm or whatever, considering how everything degenerated once the doctor got rid of it.

“Can’t stand mosquitoes. Horrible things.”

You and me, Jon. You and me. Glad to know that, even if he’s in full Jipper mode, he can still be very relatable.

I know Jon was super paranoid with Martin, but he might have a point about Tim. I mean, a guy with this resume decides to work in a place that isn’t so appreciated by normal people? And he doesn’t seem too interested in the supernatural either. Why is he here, to bribe people to get info and do whatever the fuck he wants? If that’s the reason… honestly, mood. I loved him before, I would just appreciate him even more for the power move.

Jonathan Sims, Master at Hiding Things, gets caught by Martin in 0.2 seconds because he’s so clever to record his paranoid thoughts in the middle of a working day, in a place where everyone can enter. A genius.

But now I’m curious to know where he will go to record these statements. I can almost see him, all crammed up into a closet, while Martin searches for him with a cup of tea in his hand.

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MAG 46 - Literary Heights

Oh gosh, I LOVE this chapter.

First of all, as soon as Michael Crew was mentioned, I immediately checked the previous chapters and here he was: MAG 17, the Boneturner’s Tale. Also, if my last theory is correct, Michael Crew and Supernatural Micheal are the same thing. And you know what? I think this statement confirmed it. But one thing at a time.

Second: my man Leitner! Ex Altiora my beloved! We finally know where it was and what it is! It’s a poem and I ADORE the plot. It’s such a perfect mix of weird, suspense and desperation… uuuurgh, I’m so mad I can’t read it, because this plot can be developed into a fantastic story.

And now, let’s put together all the pieces we have:

Michael Crew is interested in the Leitner.

Michael Crew has “a branching pattern of white scar tissue” on himself.

Jon reminds us that, in MAG 4, Mr. Swain said there was a “woodcut of the dark night sky, with the branching, arching design of the Lichtenberg figure” inside Ex Altiora.

This drawing isn’t mentioned by Mr. Knox here.

Lichtenberg figures have a branched shape, similar to the shape of lightning discharges, and appear on the surface/inside insulating materials during dielectric rupture. But they can also appear on lightning victims.

They are also “natural phenomena which exhibit fractal properties”.

In MAG 4, Mr. Swain says Michael Crew got struck by lightning when they were kids.

Michael Crew is surrounded by smells associated with lightning and electric discharges.

Michael Crew has been followed by a tall, thin figure, “its limbs angular and branching”.

Supernatural Michael has angular and branching limbs.

Supernatural Michael Is associated with fractals too.

The figure also “crackled and fizzed, lit by a strobing white light, as though the lightning was within the room itself”.

When Michael Crew reaches the bell tower, the prays something with the words “altiora,” “vertigo,” and “the vast”. then he says “I’m yours”, leaps through the open window and disappears.

Now, here’s my explanation:

Micheal Crew was followed by a supernatural shit. This supernatural shit was the same immense figure mentioned in the poem of Ex Altiora.

Micheal probably came into contact with it when he was a child and got struck by the lightning. Since then, he started to resonate with Vertigo/the Vast just like Jane Prentiss started to resonate with the Hive.

(Also, since Jane Prentiss’ supernatural shit was “the hive”, I think I’ll call this one “the vast” because it was a bit odd that he specifically said “the vast” with a definite article)

So, since Michael Crew came into contact with the Vast and started to resonate with it, he was accompanied by smells associated with lightning/electric discharges and he started to search for all kinds of magic books, trying to find a way to properly connect with it/being consumed by it, just like Jane Prentiss did with the Hive.

In Prentiss’ case, she connected through the wasps’ nest and got “consumed” by the Hive. Michael Crew tried to do the same by using different methods mentioned in the books, but failed. He had to find something stronger to connect to the Vast. And that something turned out to be a tale featuring the Vast itself, told by my man Leitner.

So Michael got it and waited for a storm. And as soon as the storm came, he ran towards it, calling for the Vast. And when the Vast appeared, it looked like that figure similar to an actual lightning.

Michael sang/prayed for it (please notice how Mr. Knows refers to his words like a chant first and a prayer later, just like Jane Prentiss talked about the song of the Hive. These little shits truly talk through songs) and closed his invocation, by saying “I’m yours”, which can be also read as “I give my body to you”.

And so, he jumped. And by doing that, he gave his body to the Vast and the Vast became him. And that turned him into Michael the Supernatural Shit, also known as Best Boyo of this series.

If all of this is true, then:

it’s very cool

his name isn’t Mr. Distortion, but Mr. Vast. Still cool, but Best Boyo is better :P

And if this is true, that also means my previous Leitner theory was completely wrong. His books don’t turn you into the protagonist: his books are about the real, actual supernatural shits living in this world and by getting the right one, it’s easier to connect to the supernatural shit in question. They’re like… facilitators, in a way.

That also puts into question Gerard’s work. What is he actually doing, by searching and destroying all Leitner’s books? Maybe he’s saving the world, because without books it’s more difficult to connect to these supernatural shits. But destroying the books doesn’t mean getting rid of the supernatural shits themselves and these books might actually be useful to recognize all supernatural shits and “catalog” them. I don’t know, I need more info about these two guys and what they’re actually doing.

And yes, there’s also Spider Mom taking possession of the hidden tunnels of the institute and she’s probably the one who opens the door and maybe she even walks around in her human form and that’s very cool too. Just… how fricking cool is this statement?! I think it’s among my top favorites, along with MAG 2, MAG 5, MAG 20, MAG 26 and MAG 39.

(Now that I think about it, I should probably do a top of my favorite statements once I finish the whole series. It would be fun.)

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MAG 47 - The New Door

Holy shit. Just holy shit.

I thought this was just a simple statement. A statement featuring a tall blonde guy. And yes, I was 200% sure it was Michael. But I just though he appeared and did some weird supernatural shit.

For a while, he did it: he made a door in that house, Mrs. Richardson got lost inside it for three days and escaped just because one of the mirrors was “empty” and didn’t reflect Michael. So she did what everyone who met a supernatural shit did: she went to the Institute. My theory about “hiding behind a bigger predator” seems even more convincing.

I loved the little moment when Mrs. Richardson asked Jon if he believed her and Jon admitted that yes, he believes her. It’s a tiny exchange of words, but it’s enough to show the massive change in Jon from season 1. Before, he would’ve been more stern and showed more skepticism (fake or real whatsoever). But now, after all he went through, he’s showing a softer, more empathetic side. Jon is truly evolving as a character.

And speaking of characters, time to talk about the real shit and time to overanalyze everything:

Michael’s voice is perfect

First of all, I ADORE Michael. Sorry Tim, you deserve the world, but Michael’s soft laughs and the way he gently mocks Jon because he’s this powerful supernatural shit while Jon is just a mere human it’s just too adorable. His voice is too adorable. And the distortion effect makes him very creepy - but still extremely adorable. I love him so much.

Domains?

This part about domains is very fascinating and, in a way, it confirms my theory about the supernatural shits having territories like mafia bosses.

But it seems like they don’t simply take a place and own it. It’s a bit like they are these places. As if these domains are an appendix of them. So I suppose Michael doesn’t simply “make doors pop up”: he is the doors and the corridors. such a cool concept, it makes these supernatural shits look even more eldritch and… well, supernatural. Love it.

But also: if my theory about Big Brother is correct, does that mean Big Brother isn’t just hidden in the Magnus Institute, but is the Institute? Mmmh, I need more details.

It’s also very interesting how Michael refers to Mrs. Richardson as “the Wanderer”. Since it doesn’t seem like Mrs. Richardson is a supernatural shit, I suppose that “the Wanderer” is a name to identify the people who enter the domain of a supernatural shit and become food. But since calling them “food” isn’t nice, Michael (and maybe other supernatural shits) opted for a more sophisticated name, like “the Wanderer”.

Also, Michael reconfirms he’s a poet and I love him so much.

The concept of identity (and maybe my theory already failed?)

That’s another interesting part. Michael considers itself a “what”, because “it requires a degree of identity I can’t ever retain”. And this connects to its domain: since it’s so huge and can “overlap” reality by creating new spaces inside it (inanimate spaces), it was probably easier for Michael to identify itself as a “what” rather than a “who”.

But this distorted appearance made me think: wait, probably my brand new theory about Michael as Mr. Vast is completely wrong.

If Michael’s power is being distorted and making weirdly long, distorted corridors (that confirms Michael was probably the voice who told Jon to leave, when he explored the tunnels in MAG 41), that doesn’t line up with the previous statement, where the Vast’s power was related to lightning and to being this colossal figure.

At the same time, Michael laughs with a weird, distorted effect as if it’s more people in one figure and this detail seems coherent with my theory.

So I think there are two possible solutions now:

my theory is correct and Michael can both be hugely vast and very distorted

my theory is wrong and Michael Crew just offered himself to another supernatural shit

Or maybe the correct option is:

3. Mr. Sims is the biggest troll of all mankind and he made a series in which every supernatural shit is named Michael and this explains why everyone is named Michael and why Michael is such a familiar name. If this is true I would respect him even more.

Jokes aside, I really need more information now. Especially I need Michael (this one at least) to talk about itself and its powers. And maybe all other Michaels should talk a bit about themselves too. At least enough to confirm if my theory is right or wrong.

A war?!

No, wait, you cannot drop this bomb, tease us like this, then leave. Stay here and explain!

Okay, so the Institute is important. It should stay where it is, because losing it would bring imbalance in the hidden war that’s going on - between supernatural shits, I suppose.

In MAG 41, Jon said the Archives stand on an ex-prison, built around the concept of the Panopticon. This could explain why this place is needed: a place from where you can spy on everything and everyone is a great leverage in a war.

My question is: what are the sides of this war? I suppose that one side is Big Brother and maybe the weird supernatural fog of the Lukas family, but the other? The supernatural meat? And the spider gang? On which side was Jane Prentiss with the Hive?

And what are they all fighting for? To take over the world? To eat as many humans as possible? Or maybe the “All Michael theory” is correct and since all these shits are named Michael, they decided that the last one standing will officially take the name Michael and all others will have to choose another name? All while Best Boyo Michael decided “fuck this shit, I’ll keep this name anyway because it’s just a name and my identity is more than this”?

You know what? I love the All Michael Theory. It’s stupid and yet it somehow works. If it’s true, it would immediately turn the whole series from dramatic to comic, but I love it.

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MAG 48 - Lost in the Crowd

Oooh, a statement settled in Italy! Never visited Genoa, but now it deserves a visit. After all, I already think about this goddamn series every time I see a spider and have to kill it, so why not going to Genoa and fearing weird supernatural shits? Apparently, they love to go anywhere. Was this one taking a vacation?

Speaking of vacations: honestly, I never expected to see my man Gerard, rebel punk and goth, chilling in Italy with a bright shirt on. I hope you’re also wearing some nice shorts, Gerard. And no combat boots. Or sandals with socks. The Italian fashion police can be way worse than any supernatural shits.

So, my man went to Mrs. Nunis, told her she was “marked” and told her to think about her mother. To remember her. To, you know, feel less alone. I immediately thought about Naomi and how she too felt alone, when the mysterious fog tried to “eat” her in MAG 13.

But this time there wasn’t really a fog: the sunny day simply became overcast. So maybe the fog isn’t supernatural but… the clouds are? But then, what about the weird fog from MAG 33? Or maybe, the fog simply hides the real supernatural shit, which is this weird faceless crowd. And this time the fog was on vacation too.

Or maybe Italy’s weather is too warm for the thick UK fog, so the fog dispersed and left only the crowd. I’ll admit it, it would be hilariously funny if a supernatural shit is simply an atmospheric element end you can get rid of it by traveling far enough or by using, idk, an electric fan.

So one question remains: what was Gerard doing in Italy? Was he truly searching for a Leitner? Or maybe he was really taking a vacation? I like to think it’s the second one: unlike Jon “Trust No One” Sims and Martin “Self-preservation is overrated” Blackwood, my man Gerard knows when it’s time to get the fuck out and take a vacation. So he left all the supernatural shits and books to chill on a beach, take a cafè and eat some real food.

Great choice, Gerard, Genoa is a beautiful place.

Speaking of the supplement, Jon realized Michael was warning him about Sasha! But unfortunately, thanks to Not!Sasha’s evil powers, Jon cannot understand what the problem with her is. Damn you, evil imposter! Give Sasha back!

Jon “Jipper” Sims, Master of Secrecy, after being caught by Martin in 0.2 seconds, got caught both by Martin and Tim again and they both immediately realized Jon was spying on them. So they reported him to Elias.

See? See where “trust no one” brings you, Jon? Please, stop spying on them like a creep. why don’t you start spying Elias, instead? He’s the most suspicious guy that ever walked on this planet, why the fuck are you wasting time with your team when you have him?

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MAG 49 - The Butcher’s Window

I read the title and I immediately was: “The meat is back, isn’t it?”

But it’s not just the meat, it’s our old friend Jared! And he does incredibly weird creepy things! And I like them, because they’re creepy without being gorey. You know, it’s just too easy to use gore: scaring without gore is harder and I appreciate it.

Also, what the fuck is the weird… underground superleech he’s feeding? Is that the boneturner? Is this the name of this supernatural shit? After all, every supernatural shit seems to have a name that starts with the definite article: the hive, the vast, the boneturner.

And if we add up all the things we discovered until now, that means that Jared became the Boneturner/the body of the Boneturner thanks to the Leitner’s book that “facilitated” the connection and, since he became that thing, that thing also became him. So the underground creepy superleech is still part of him and by feeding it, he’s feeding himself too.

You know, the whole process of feeding it was creepy, fine, but it made me smile too because… come on, it looks like a guy throwing snacks at his dog. That’s funny.

But not as funny as the mental image of this weird superleech I got, that resembles something like this:

This is a sea lamprey. It’s not a leech, but it’s the closest animal to represent what I imagined. And yes, this is a real living creature on this planet. You’re welcome, glad to know this will haunt your dreams too.

A-ah! We finally got more info about Elias! I knew it was weird that he managed to go from filing clerk to head of the Institute, but I had no idea he became head of the Institute just in five goddamn years. What did he do, did he kill everyone else? Did he kill James Wright too? Did this man also “die on the job” as Gertrude?

Also, how absolutely, insanely funny is it to think that Elias was a pothead? I read it and I was like… what? This guy?! I always imagined him like a posh guy and now you tell me he was smoking crack or whatever? That’s too funny, I love that and it would be hilarious if that’s the reason why he killed everyone else: not because of the Lukas family, not because of the supernatural shits: just because he wants to hide his past.

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MAG 50 - Foundations

Oooh, another old statement addressed to Jonah Magnus! I suppose that’s how the Institute started: with this guy walking back and forth inside his house, surrounded by creepy stories. A bit like Jon now. And nope, I don’t like this parallel.

The story itself is very meh. It’s not really creepy nor scary, just “mysterious guy appears outside an office” and “fingers on a stone uuuh”.

This statement probably served to remind us about Robert Smirke’s existence. Jon probably forgot, but I remember that in season 1, he said Tim mentioned him an architect he was obsessed with and this architect was Robert Smirke. So I suppose this guy is important.

We also have Sir George Gilbert Scott now. When Mr. Kempthorne said Scott’s projects had odd symmetries and seemed claustrophobic, they reminded me of the underground tunnels of the Institute. Is it possible that one of these guys is responsible for the construction of the ex Millbank prison? I suppose only time will tell.

I died laughing when Tim thought Jon was hitting on Basira. How he went from “That woman is weird” to “Good job boss, get her”. He’s the best, I love him.

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In conclusion

Oh my, what a start for season 2! We have more Michaels than ever, too many theories and lots of mysteries I still can’t grasp.

I want more. I want to know more about Michael, I want to find out which theory is correct. Is Michael Crew one of the many identities of Best Boyo Michael? Is Michael vast and distorted or they’re two different Michaels? Is every supernatural shit named Michael? Is Elias just a pothead trying to survive in a world full of supernatural shits? Is Gerard still on holiday?

We’ll meet back soon with ten more chapters.

>> Next post

(How about a coffee? ☕)

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