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#even last week all of this seemed so far away and impossible
notetaeker · 1 year
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December 3, 2022 - Saturday
December will be a great month inshallah, I believe it! So far I have:
tested negative for covid (after 2 weeks 🦠) alhamdullillah
cleaned + disinfected my entire room - feels like a new start
went thru all my income + expenses for the last half of the year 🤧 (exhausting, productive and revealing 😬)
talked with my friend on the phone (she who is too busy to breathe).
little bro returned from trip
Tomorrow the plan is to add a pompom to a hat I knitted, make parchment envelopes to give out the dates my bro brought back from umrah, and maybe even go outside after 2 weeks -wipes tear- (outside pics are from last winter)
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mondaymelon · 10 months
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— "𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲, 𝗯𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗼𝘆𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱!!" ♥
:feat~ xiao, kazuha, heizou, scaramouche x gn!reader:
⤷ synopsis: ah, poor reader's crush won't notice them!! the solution? ask your guy friend to pretend to be your partner, and perhaps that'll get them jealous... except-!? ⤷ cw: fluff, highschool!au, possesive + overprotectiveness, ykyk the whole package
ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ (open!) : @manager-of-the-pudding-bank, @iamdedinside, @ilyuu, @achlysis, @swivy123
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"C'mon, just for one week...?"
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"Have you finally gone mad?"
XIAO's words come out as more of a scoff, if anything. You can see the way that his expression forms a scowl that he's less than pleased at your suggestion. "You want me to fake date you for a week?"
Sheepish, you nod. "...Please?"
"Because you want your 'crush' to get jealous?" You don't get why he's put that in quotations, but you nod along, slightly confused. Xiao's expression only darkens, for some inexplicable reason. What, have you done something to offend him?
Desperate, you recall your last resort. "Well," you begin, voice unsteady as you try to sound as nonchalant as possible. With a shrug, you sigh. "If you're not willing, I can always find someone e-"
"I'll do it."
Ah, there was the Xiao you knew. Aloof, yes. Cold, yes. But not willing to admit he was inferior to anyone - especially when it regarded you.
So there, your plan was complete. Act like Xiao was your boyfriend, and then maybe they would finally notice you… except, why do you get the feeling that Xiao was forgetting his purpose?
It’s not anything major, not by a long shot, but you find it strange how he’s suddenly grown so clingy, as if pretending to be your partner somehow enhanced the relationship between the two of you. He walks you to every one of your classes, and insists on coming over to your house for study sessions, and while you don’t particularly dislike it, it is awkward, seeing him act so intimate even with no eyes watching.
But… this was all normal, right? He was just normalizing himself with his role, so there was nothing to concern yourself over. That’s what you chided to yourself whenever these moments occurred again and again, until one day, you accidentally brush hands with the male while trying to pass him some papers, and he practically jumps away from your touch. He doesn’t apologize afterwards, but you can see how he’s more cautious around you, sometimes catching his gaze lingering on you for far too long while a sheepish red creeps over his cheeks… and the way he glances at his own hand so gingerly is something peculiar all together.
However, none of that prepared you when the next week, the last day of the promised agreement, Xiao asks to talk to you. Alone.
“Xiao, what’s up?” He hasn’t spoken yet, and the silence is suffocating.
“Can we… not pretend any longer?”
And for a moment, everything seems to stop. Time itself halts as the only thing you can hear is your own shallow inhale and exhale. His voice cuts through the moment. “I’m tired of pretending, wanting something that isn’t mine. Something that I can never have.”
“Something… that can never be yours…?” It’s hard to speak, like something is in your throat, but you manage to.
“Yes. You.”
Ah, how could you not return his words when he gazes into your eyes with such adoration?
“...Xiao, it’s not entirely impossible.”
And the words that come out of your mouth aren’t lies, because you’ve felt the butterflies too. You wouldn’t think, a week prior, that you would’ve fallen for someone as distant as him, but the way he treated you so gently swayed your resolve. In a way, this outcome was inevitable.
Ha, but to think that Xiao, born from one of Liyue’s elite families, would confess to you like this, with such a flustered expression, eyes clouded with love? 
“Ah… then, if that’s the case, you’ll allow me this, won’t you?” 
There’s a hint of something strange in his tone, yet it’s left undeciphered as the male swiftly leans forward, one hand making its way behind you and keeping you steady as his lips meet yours. He’s pressed against you, close enough that you can feel his own heartbeats along yours, beating just as quickly. When he pulls away, one shaky hand manages to grab yours, grasp surprisingly strong.
“If you keep looking at me like that, I’ll have to kiss you again.” ♥
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"...Ah? Sorry, I think I heard something different. Could you repeat that?"
You don't think KAZUHA has ever looked more perplexed as he stares at you, eyes wide and mouth slightly ajar as he tries his best to process your words. "So you..." His voice cracks, and he coughs into his fist. "You want me to be your fake boyfriend?"
"Just for one week..." You nod at his words, feeling a little awkward at your request. It wasn't too outlandish, was it? From the way Kazuha seems completely frozen, one would assume so... but it was a simple plan, even if it didn't work, it was worth trying, right?
It takes the white haired male a whole ten seconds to respond, which is already unusual in and of itself. He nods hesitantly, “I…I suppose I could.”
It surprises you how good of an actor he is, holding your hand without a second thought, inviting you out after school, waiting for you to pack up after classes and always following you to your next… sometimes you wonder if it’s even an act at all.
His touch seems too sincere, gaze too warm… and by the third day, your crush fades. Is it too hopeful to wish for something more in your relationship with Kazuha? Was it really so shameful? He treated you too tenderly to ignore, even if it was all just pretend… you wanted it to be real.
And maybe such thoughts were given an answer when, on a whim of carelessness, a small, folded up piece of paper fell from the male’s pocket as he waved goodbye, walking out of the classroom. Curious, you retrieved the paper, figuring you could give it back to him later… but you couldn’t resist just one peek. If it was really that private, he would’ve taken greater measures in ensuring its safety, wouldn’t he?
Ah, but what was written on the paper…well, to put it simply…
It was a poem, addressed to you. Professing his love, his adoration, his infatuation.
Words you were not meant to see, but ones you witnessed.
And when he comes to pick you up after class, wearing his usual serene smile, it’s almost as if you’re seeing him for the first time.
His crimson eyes seem to glitter when he spots you amongst the crowd, his entire expression brightening as he excitedly half-runs over with a slight flush on his cheeks. “There you are!” And just like always, he latches his hand upon yours, his grip comfortably tight.
Have his hands always been so warm?
“Dove, is something wrong?” The look of concern in his eyes is almost overwhelming. Something that can’t all just be a farce.
“Sorry.” Then, amidst the bustling crowd, you lean forward and give him a light peck on the cheek, pulling away as you watch his features grow slack with shock, cheeks reddening as he lightly squeezes your hand.
“W- Oh, does this mean…” His voice has gained a hopeful edge as a smile graces his lips. “C’mon dove, you missed. Here, let me show you how…”
And then he embraces you tightly, and you can feel his bashful warmth spreading into your body as his soft lips meet yours in the mere span of seconds, engulfing you with a sense of affection that you had never felt before.
“K-Kazuha… I…” It’s hard to get words out, with how loud your heart is beating in your ears - but there’s no need to, as the male shushes you with a smile playing on his lips.
“There’s no need to explain, I already understand. Besides, I was getting tired of playing pretend all the same.” ♥
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"Haha, never expected to hear those words from you..."
HEIZOU looks rather calm, which is odd, about the entire situation, laughing quietly to himself before turning to you with a rather smug expression. "What, you want me to be your 'boyfriend' for a week?"
"Mhm..." You do suppose he's likely heard of stranger requests before, given the part-time detective work he does.
"Hmm..." Even though it seems like he's already made up his mind, he still playfully puffs out his cheeks, squinting his eyes at the distance as if that'll help his decision making skills in any way. "What'd I get in return, though?"
"...Eh? Uhm..." While Heizou was one of the more eccentric people you were acquainted with, you hadn't expected that he'd ask for something in return. "...A kiss?"
You were joking, but somehow, that made the male perk up. "Sure, sounds like a fair trade to me."
Well… if he was satisfied, then all was fine, right?
Except, with the promise of a kiss in tow, why does he seem so much more… full of vigor? That wasn’t natural, was it?
It’s easy to dismiss things you don’t see, but not when it’s clearly witnessed. Every little action he did, accompanied with a smirk, would be followed with a smug little something along the lines of, “I can’t wait for the kiss,” or “Your kiss will make this all worth it~!” And even whenever he loosely held your hand, he would glance at you and make a puckering motion with his lips.
At that point, calling his actions “normal” would just be lying to yourself.
“So, how’d it go?” Heizou glances up at you with tentative emerald eyes as you near him, something in his gaze that you can’t quite describe.
“All they said was ‘congrats on finding a partner.’” You sigh, slumping as you stand next to him, sliding down the wall before sitting on the floor, knees hugged to your chest. “I think they're dating someone else… ah, how could this be? I’ve had a crush on them for years, yet…”  Another long sigh escapes your lips.
At the edge of your vision, you can see a certain male staring at you with a faint smile on his face, growing subtly wider with each word that leaves your mouth.
“Heh, seems like my love has run fresh out of fortune~!” His voice lilts, and you can hear the smirk residing in hsi tone as you flinch at the use of a petname. “Aw, it’s really too bad, isn’t it…” He’d almost look convincing if he wiped the jeering grin off his face.
“What are you…” Your voice trails off as Heizou sits on the ground next to you, mimicking your posture while placing his hand over yours.
“You promised me a kiss, didn’t you?”
Curses. That, you did.
“...Ah, were you serious about that?” You laugh awkwardly, but his expression doesn’t change.
“Were you not?” He counters instantaneously, his smug expression not budging an inch. “I never knew you were so unfaithful in keeping promises… I can’t help but feel disappointed.”
Then he pouts, eyes glimmering as he gives you the puppy eyes, albeit a little cursed. And just like that, you can feel your resolve shatter, crumpling like a piece of wet paper mache. An odd metaphor, but it seemed to fit the current predicament. With a groan of… embarrassment? Exasperation? You finally agree, grumbling, “Ah, let’s just get this over with.”
“Ready when you are~!”
Awkwardly… hesitantly, you lean forward, give him a light peck on the cheek, and retract as fast as humanly possible. Heizou only laughs at your antics, “You call that a kiss?”
“What, do you have any complaints?” You can’t help the snarky edge that makes its way into your voice.
“Perhaps a few.” The male smirks, scooching closer to you so that the two of you are uncomfortably close. “Why don’t I show you what a true kiss looks like?”
He doesn’t wait for your answer, he doesn’t have to - he just swiftly moves in, one hand on your chin as he moves your mouth onto his. You can feel the sneer against your lips as he engulfs you into one kiss, then another. It seems like an eternity before he pulls away, and when he does, your left panting, face flushed with red. 
“Hah… I-” Archons, why did he look so handsome right now? With his slightly dishiveled burgundy hair that framed his face so immaculately, the way his spring eyes glimmered with the slightest hint of mischief, and the way the corners of his mouth turned upwards with a satisfied air.
“No need to thank me for my services, but if you’d like to repay me…” He recovers quicker than you do, his smile not flickering from his face, not even once. 
“Why don’t you repay me with a date?” ♥
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"Hahaha- oh. Wait, you aren't joking? Ugh, who do you take me for?"
The instant SCARAMOUCHE realizes you aren't jesting, his smile drops, and it's replaced with a look of absolute denial... or maybe it's repulsion?
Either way, he looks displeased, and his gaze towards you is one as if he's glaring at an annoyingly loud fly. Or maybe a worm, like he always likes to say to people he particularly dislikes, cursing "lowly worms" under his breath when he passes them in the hallways.
"Are you crazy? Delusional? Oh, I get it, you ate something weird." He lifts his eyebrow at you, frown deepening with every word. When he notices that you don't admit to any of them, his eyes go wide. "...You're being serious."
“Yes…?” The way he’s acting makes you nervous. “C’mon, please? Just for one week…”
“...How unfortunate… the way you’re acting so desperate is kind of disgusting… but if you insist…” Scaramouche glowers, but eventually loosens his expression. "Let's make it quick."
He's a bit of a strange boyfriend, to say the least, barely holds your hand, and when he does, it's only when people are around. He's not exactly polite in his affection either, whenever he's latched onto you, he'll stick his tongue out at anyone and all who passes by you two, giving any sort of strange look.
He may or may not tone his antics down if you ask him too, but likely not. Why should he give a shit about what you think, or what others think? He's stronger - if they want a fight, he'll give it to them.
And when your crush eventually never returns the jealousy you were wishing for, it's disappointing, to say the least, but the only words Scaramouche have to say about it are: "They didn't deserve you anyway, the fool."
...Wait, was he the one that sounded jealous, now?
Perhaps you were hearing things.
Except...
"Hey, the week's over, isn't it?" Scaramouche sounds disinterested, but the way his gaze is fixated on you says otherwise. "Our little 'dating scheme' is finally over." You note the slightest hint of remorse in his voice.
"So it is." You don't glance up at him, continuing to scroll through your homefeed.
"Does that mean we're dating for real now?"
"...What?"
He lets out a sound that's a mix between a laugh and a scoff. "You tell me."
"Aren't we, now that we aren't faking it anymore?" ♥
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(a/n) oops i made heizou's part too long and scara's too short whoopsies
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scuderiahoney · 4 months
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Glad You’re Here
Oscar Piastri x insomniac!reader // Tangerine Pt. 1.5
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Masterlist // Tangerine Part 1 // Part 1.5 // Part 2
It’s been raining where I live this week and I couldn’t get this version of Oscar and reader out of my head. So, here you go- a little companion blurb from Oscar’s POV.
Word Count: 1.1k
find my other fics here, including the original one for this blurb!
Warnings: none
Oscar loves sleep. He could sleep anywhere, could fall asleep at the drop of a hat. It’s been an issue, actually- he habitually snoozes through alarms and constantly naps when he should be doing more important things.
It’s been an adjustment, dating you, because of that. It’s not that you don’t like sleep, you just… can’t. Honestly, it breaks his heart, because while tumbling into his bed at the end of the day is a relief for him, for you, it’s the opposite.
He’s watched you get worked up with exhaustion to the point of tears far too many times. He wishes he could take it all away, that he could reach deep into your brain and press the magic button that would let you sleep. You’ve tried lots of things- chamomile tea, melatonin, warm baths, hot milk and honey, but nothing seems to help.
That is, until Brazil.
It’s the end of a triple header, which is exhausting in its own way. You’re dragging, have been for days. He can see it in your eyes when you give him the update before qualis, can see the way it pulls at the corners of your lips. He wants to wrap you up in a hug and hold you there until you get so bored you fall asleep- though that doesn’t work, either. But the two of you are in public, surrounded by coworkers, so he refrains.
Dark clouds roll in over the track and cut the session short, which is less than ideal. Oscar climbs out of his car, frowning when he notices you’re missing from your usual spot in the garage. It’s odd, but not impossible. You could be in the bathroom, could be in a meeting- he’s not sure.
When he’s made it through his debrief and you’re still not back- which is odd since you’re a part of his team- he starts to get worried. Finally, he asks, trying to sound casual about it. It’s not necessarily a secret that the two of you are dating- the important people know, important being your bosses. He leans towards one of your closer coworkers, asks them if they know where you are.
“Oh, she left, I think,” she says, and Oscar feels even more concerned. “She said she didn’t sleep well last night, I think she wasn’t feeling good.”
Oscar blinks, rubs his thumb against his knee under the table. It’s odd that you wouldn’t have texted him before you left. He wonders if you went to your hotel room or his, feels a stab in his chest at the thought of you all alone and not feeling well. Not sleeping well the night before is an understatement- he knows you didn’t sleep at all, actually. You’d stayed in his room and read a book, a little light to read by and his head in your lap.
Once they dismiss him to head to the hotel, he beelines for his driver room to gather his stuff. Lando’s trying to make small talk on the way there, and when Oscar opens the door he’s following behind him. Oscar stops in his tracks, though, and Lando bumps into him, opening his mouth to make a comment when Oscar raises his hand and shushes him.
You’re there, curled up on the massage bed, tightly wound. You’re asleep.
“Oh,” Lando whispers. “I’ll go.”
Oscar nods, closes the door, walks over carefully. Your lips are barely parted, lashes tangled together, arms curled protectively around yourself. He watched the soft rise and fall of your shoulders, absolutely entranced.
The thing is, Oscar doesn’t actually see you sleep very often. When it does happen, you usually fall asleep after him, and then you wake up before him.
All of the tense energy is gone from your body. Your hair has fallen into your face, a strand across your lips that moves with every breath you take. He’s pretty sure you’re wearing one of his hoodies. You look so soft, like you’ve melted into the massage table. He wants to curl himself around you, into you, keep you close and warm and safe.
He sends Lando a text, asks him to knock quietly when the car to the hotel is ready. Then he locks the door and crosses the room. He’s so careful when he climbs onto the makeshift bed with you. He takes it inch by inch until he’s got you under one arm, his chin on top of your head. He doesn’t dare pull you close like he’d really like to, afraid of waking you up-
“Osc?” You say, voice soft.
He curses himself out in his head. He shouldn’t have risked it, should’ve just let you sleep, should’ve known this would happen. You’re going to kill him, probably- the one time you fall asleep easily, and here he is, ruining it.
“Sorry, baby,” he says, sighing. “You looked so cozy, I just thought- I didn’t mean to wake you.”
In response, you wrap one of your arms around him and pull yourself into his chest. Your cold nose brushes his neck, lips against his collarbone. You yawn and turn your face so that your cheek is pressed to his chest.
“S’okay, m’glad you’re here.” you mumble. “The storm made me sleepy.”
The rain is still pelting the side of the garage, sending the sound through the room. Every so often, there’s the distant sound of thunder. He wonders if a sound machine would help you sleep, tucks it away into his brain to try later. Right now, he brushes his lips against the crown of your forehead and rubs your back.
He opens his mouth to say something again, but then he feels it- your grip on him loosens, and your soft, even breaths wash over his neck. He pulls his head back just slightly, finds your eyes closed and your lips parted once again. You’re adorable when you’re sleeping. The relaxed look on your face makes his heart clench in his chest. He keeps rubbing your back lightly, afraid that if he’s stops you’ll wake up again.
He’s not tired, but he stays anyways. He stays and watches you sleep, even if it’s mildly creepy, even if Lando will definitely make fun of him for it if he ever finds out. He doesn’t know how long your sleep will last, so he’ll cherish every second of it.
On the car ride back to the hotel, he buys a sound machine off of Amazon. You try it the next time you can’t sleep. It doesn’t work. He waits until then to tell you the truth.
He absolutely hates thunderstorms.
a/n: thank you for all the love on the original fic!!
taglist: @4-mula1
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egcdeath · 1 year
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clean sheet
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pairing: joel miller x reader 
summary: nothing stirs the pot like your ex-husband, gossipy soccer moms, and a weekend-long soccer tournament. (part two of spectator sport)
word count: 7.7k
warnings: canon divergent: no apocalypse, implied past emotional abuse, jealousy/misunderstanding, kinda angsty in the beginning but verrrry fluffy at the end, insecurities, there was only one bed, mutual pining, sarah and chloe being menaces as usual
author’s note: this past week has been extremely rough. like, ao3 author’s note apologizing for being gone rough, so i’m just as surprised as you are that i was able to write 7,000 words of a part two to spectator sport. enjoy!
 part 3 / series masterlist
Tournament season was nothing short of an absolute pain in the ass. It was a pain in the ass when you were married and able to evenly split your responsibilities, and it’s even more of a pain in the ass now that your ex-husband has decided to participate minimally in all soccer related ventures. 
To be completely honest, it seemed like it wasn’t just soccer ventures your ex wasn’t too enthused to partake in, as Nathan had ditched most of his fatherly duties whenever a new, younger girlfriend was in the picture. But that was neither here nor there.
Despite Nathan taking Chloe to her past few games this season—you were completely swamped with work and you had practically gotten on your knees and begged for him to take her to them—he didn’t seem to have any interest in assisting you with tournaments. 
That was fine and good. You knew about the events far enough in advance to move some meetings around, block off some time, and cross your fingers and hope that nothing came up unexpectedly in the days prior to your game. Although, what you couldn’t account for was your car completely breaking down on your way back from a bagel shop the morning before you were meant to be on the road for the next three hours. 
But alas, the universe had its way of kicking you when you were already down, leaving you biting back tears in the passenger seat of a tow truck as you attempted to figure out a Plan B.
“Please, Nathaniel,” you pleaded over the phone, pacing back and forth in your bedroom as you tried your absolute best to hold the last bits of your composure together. 
“I’ve been at her last three games,” it was impossible to miss the sneer in his voice as if his own daughter was the biggest burden in the world. “And where have you been? It’s practically been a month.”
“Where have I been?” you laughed out of anger and at the absurdity of his words. You knew that he knew for a fact that you’d been drowning in work. “Nathaniel. You know how my work has been. Please just do this one thing for your child. It’s the fucking weekend. It’s not like you’re doing anything else.”
“It’s always work with you. You know, this is why I couldn’t be with you anymore. You were always so selfish with your time and inconsiderate with mine,” he sighed dismissively. “And for the record, Claire and I have a reservation tonight. So I am doing something else.”
It was staggering how minimized and powerless he made you feel after every interaction despite how little he actually was in your life. Every time you interacted with the man you thanked whatever forces out there that you somehow found it in yourself to leave. 
You huffed and blinked away tears, hugging yourself to attempt to bring yourself some sort of comfort. After signing the papers, you told yourself you would never waste one single tear on the man again. You wouldn’t let a little argument like this change that promise.
“Can I at least borrow your car?” you sounded so meek and desperate, but you were running out of options, and with every passing minute you had less and less options.
Instead of responding, Nathan simply laughed at you before ending the call. Humiliated didn’t even begin to cover how you felt about the whole situation. 
You angrily wiped away the hot tears that had slipped down your face without your permission and sighed as you evaluated what options you had left. You could take an Uber, but it would be ridiculously expensive. You could rent a car, but Chloe was bound to get stains and dirt tracked throughout the vehicle. Anything else was far too short notice. 
You flopped down onto your bed and screamed into your pillow. The stress from your overfilled work week combined with an extremely inconvenient situation was taking its toll on you, but you needed to figure something out. 
Maybe you could carpool with someone. Although, you weren’t sure who was still in town, as most of the families liked to leave at the ass crack of dawn. If that wasn’t enough, you weren’t exactly sure you wanted to sit in a small contained space with some of those families for a prolonged period of time. 
Maybe you could ‘borrow’ Nathan’s car regardless of what he said. You were sure his new girlfriend had a car–if she was even old enough to drive one–and they could certainly take that car to their ever-important reservation tonight. Although, maybe getting a grand theft auto charge in order to make it to a soccer tournament wasn't your greatest idea.
You were deep in the eye of a brainstorm when a soft little knock rapped against your door, seconds before Chloe peeked her head in. 
“Hi mom,” she greeted, completely unaware of the extent of your conundrum. “Sarah can’t find her cleats and wanted to know if she could borrow one of mine. Where do you keep my old ones?” 
Joel.
Oh shit, Joel.
Joel who you’d accidentally ghosted after the promise of a date. With work and ex-spousal drama, you hadn’t even had a moment to think about the date. A knot tied in your stomach as you thought about how you’d treated him. He probably thought you were icing him out on purpose. 
“They should be downstairs in the front closet under the coats,” you informed her. “You almost ready to go?”
“What does it look like?” she retorted sassily, doing a little spin for you to show off her full soccer attire. 
“Alright,” you chuckled, trying to keep it together for just a while longer. “Go find those cleats.”
With that, she was off, and you were alone with just one option. 
You dialed the number that you’d only texted once, and bit your lip as the phone rang out. The knot in your stomach tied and untied with each ring of the phone, nausea rattling you as you thought about all the ways he could answer. He’d probably be pissed that you were only reaching out to him now, only when you needed something from him. He’d probably tell you off, just like Nathan, and laugh at you over the phone over the mere prospect of hitching a ride with him.
After three rings, Joel finally picked up, saying your name aloud, as if he was genuinely surprised to be hearing from you. 
“Joel, I’m so sorry,” you took a deep breath and attempted to hold back the wave of emotions coming over you. This stupid stressful morning. This stupid stressful month. And stupid you for leaving a good man waiting for you. A good man who was probably moments away from becoming a bad man, like every other one that seemed to appear in your life.
“My car broke down this morning and I don’t have any other way to get to the tournament. Is there any way we can carpool? I’ll literally pay you to take us. I’ll drive Sarah to school for the rest of the school year. Hell, I’ll take her to games too. Just… please.” It felt like you were talking a million miles a minute. 
“Hey, take a breath,” he said, clearly picking up on the frantic energy you were radiating through the phone. “We’re heading out in about twenty minutes. We’ll swing by your place. And don’t worry about all that other stuff, okay? Just take a big breath. I’ll see you soon.”
You were flooded with relief as you spoke your gratitude and hung up. It almost felt odd to not have someone go off on you for waiting so last minute to reach out for help, or for not reaching out to them after you said that you would. You were puzzled, and not completely sure what you did to deserve someone like Joel in your life, but you were grateful to have him regardless. Especially now that he was coming to save the day. 
Sure enough, around twenty minutes later, a pickup truck arrived in front of your house, and Chloe was sprinting to go sit with her friend in the backseat, still overjoyed from the news that she would be traveling with her friend. 
Timidly, you entered the car, still anticipating a stern lecture or even a scolding for being a shitty mom, and an even worse potential partner. “I really can’t thank you enough for this, Joel,” you expressed before he had the chance to speak, hoping that if you expressed your gratitude before he had the chance to yell at you, the blow would be lessened. You kept your eyes down as you sat down and set your overnight bag in front of you. 
“Of course. You know, I still owe you a favor after that dinner fiasco,” he glanced over at you and smiled, and some of that fear you had been holding onto began to melt away. Although, you blanched at the mention of the date that you were meant to go on, but hadn’t had the chance to do so. Yet, there didn’t seem to be any malice behind Joel’s words. 
“I guess we’re even?” you offered, looking over at the man to attempt to read him as he slung his arm around the back of the headrest and looked through the rearview mirror as he pulled out. 
“Yeah,” he said shortly, almost… dejectedly? Maybe you were reading into it too much. After all, his attention was split between you and getting out of your driveway safely. 
Regardless of what anyone was feeling, your journey began with the girls in the back chatting amongst themselves and a slightly weighted silence between the two of you in the front while the sound of radio filled in for the lack of conversation between you and Joel.
You spent the majority of the ride looking out your window, deep in thought. You tried not to let Nathan get under your skin all that often, but maybe he was right about the way you spent your time. You’d practically thrown away your shot at any relationship with the man next to you, simply because you were too busy and forgot about a promise you’d made. 
You tried to focus on the excited chatter in the seat behind you, and less on the venomous words Nathan had given you over the years, but it was a difficult task. Paired with the fact that you were still waiting for the shoe to drop and Joel to go off on you, it wasn’t the most pleasant time.
After about an hour of driving (and in your case, brooding), you had to make a stop at the gas station, as the truck was running low on fuel. You reached for your wallet and grabbed a twenty dollar bill, then passed it back to the girls behind you. “Go get some snacks for us?” 
“Of course!” Chloe cheered, hopping out of the car and racing Sarah into the entrance of the gas station.
Joel was definitely going to go off on you now that the kids were gone. You held your breath as you got out of the car, leaning against the hood of the vehicle as Joel stood by the pump, his eyes fixed on his vehicle.
“I can’t tell you just how sorry I am. About not reaching out to you to go out sometime, and for having to ask you so last minute to take us to the tournament. I’ve just been absolutely swamped with work, and Natha-“
“You’re fine,” Joel cut you off as he acknowledged your apology, keeping his gaze trained on the car. Here it comes. “You don’t need to apologize. Sometimes life just throws a bunch of shit at us at once.”
You nodded in agreement, your breathing picking up as you waited for the condescension or lecture to begin. Yet… it never came. You weren’t sure if he was as upset as you suspected, but Joel was certainly feeling more than he was willing to let on. The lack of eye contact and his slightly off responses told you that much. 
“Is everything okay?” you finally asked, trailing off. “You’ve barely said a word all trip.”
“Everything is fine. I’m just tired,” he rubbed his forehead with his hand. 
“Well, if you’re tired, I can drive us the rest of the way over and you can sleep. That way you’ll be rested for the game,” you offered, taking a daring step towards him, and setting your hand on his bicep—a peace treaty of sorts. And maybe a hint that you were still interested in whatever sparks had been evident before. 
Joel immediately stiffened under your touch, and subtly rejected the motion. He glanced over at you for just a moment before looking back down at the gas pump and shut his eyes. “That’d be great. I’m really exhausted.”
While you could believe that maybe Joel was just tired, there had to be more to the story. The way he rejected your subtle touch and the way he just couldn’t seem to meet your eyes told you that much. Perhaps you underestimated just how hurt he was by you not making plans with him, although it wasn’t like he’d reached out to you to set something up. In fact, the last time you heard from him was the night before the girls’ game following their team dinner.
“Of course. Go ahead and get back in the car, I can take everything from here.”
The rest of the ride wasn’t too long, but you were happy to contribute after asking for such a last minute favor. You drove straight to the grounds that the team was playing on that afternoon, as you were already pushing it on time, and certainly did not have time to go check into your hotel yet.
Your kids jogged off to greet their team and warm up with them, leaving you alone with Joel once again as you grabbed fold-out chairs from the back of his truck. 
“You feeling any better now after sleeping?” you asked, turning to look at him and inspect his face for any suspicious expressions.
“Yeah, definitely,” he affirmed, but his words didn’t exactly match what it was you had observed. He closed his trunk and began to walk away, and you followed after him, feeling a bit like a lost puppy.
“Joel, really. You can tell me what’s wrong,” you practically pleaded, part of you still waiting for the moment he would tell you off.
“I already told you,” his tone was defensive, and when he turned back to look at you, the agitation was clearly painted on his face. “Nothing is wrong.”
You were taken aback, but understood that you had crossed some sort of boundary in your continuous pressing of what was wrong. You felt more like a kicked puppy than a lost one as you walked out to the fields behind Joel, setting your chair up close to him, but with a little more distance between the two of you than what you would have preferred. 
You didn’t talk much during the game, outside of cheering for your daughters and momentarily celebrating when one of them pulled something impressive off. 
Although you didn’t interact much, it still felt nice to be back at a game after being gone for the past few weeks. And honestly, it felt even more nice to be back in Joel’s presence after those weeks, even if it was clear that something had shifted between the two of you. 
When the second game began, you were surprised to come back from your short leg-stretch walk to find another chair placed next to Joel’s—and a woman happily chatting his ear off.
A pang of jealousy struck your gut as you observed the two of them. It was no secret that most of the moms (and some of the dads) on the team (and other teams) saw the same things in Joel that you did. But you had absolutely no right to feel jealous, considering the way you’d basically led him on, and you had absolutely no reason to believe that there was anything romantic going on between them.
But you felt unwell anyway. 
You urged yourself not to look at them for too long, instead focusing on the game in front of you, but the sounds of their voices and the way their conversation easily flowed was far too distracting. Just the rotten cherry on top of an already shitty day. 
You felt ridiculous and childish sitting there with jealousy burning deeply in your stomach as you mentally ran through all of the things you could have done differently. Maybe if you’d texted Joel the night of your dinner and found a day where you both weren’t busy to go out together, or if you’d just said no to taking on a few extra hours, you’d be the one giggling and playing with your hair as you chatted up Joel.
It was official: you couldn’t torture yourself with staying one more moment with the two of them. Instead, you shot out of your uncomfortable little chair, and hauled your jealous little ass over to the concession stand. If you couldn’t go back in time and fix all the mistakes you’d made leading up to today, at least you could stuff your face full of peanut M&Ms until you felt better.  
As you focused on tearing the yellow plastic with a little more force than what was necessary, you completely missed Alice—one of the more gossipy mothers on the team—approaching you. 
“Hey babe,” she greeted cheerily. “We haven’t seen you in a few weeks. Where’ve you been?” 
Your mouth was currently filled with candy, so it took you a second to respond. “Work,” you said in between chewing. “I barely had time to breathe, let alone bring Chloe to her games, so I had to basically beg on my knees for a little help from her father. Speaking of which, how was Nathan?”
“Oh,” Alice paused and looked off to the side, a little too guiltily for your liking. “Yeah, he was fine.”
“Are you sure?” you asked, brows furrowed at her strange reaction. 
“Yeah! He was great. It’s just…” she trailed off and offered you an awkward smile. “We thought you two were maybe back together. You know, with the whole co-parenting thing.”
Your eye twitched. So the parents of the team were gossiping and theorizing about your love life. Great. That’s probably what was wrong with Joel—word had gotten back to him that you and Nathan were playing house again. No wonder he was putting such distance between you. 
“Babe,” you tried not to let the annoyance you were experiencing reflect too much into your tone, “why would you tell people we were back together? Bringing your own child to their sports events is not exactly groundbreaking or relationship material.”
You were now gritting your teeth as the irritation really started to sink in. Joel probably didn’t reach out to you for your date since these fucking real housewives you were surrounded by had decided to spread baseless rumors about you from the moment your ex had stepped onto the sideline. 
You were wrong. This was the rotten cherry on top of the absolute dogshit milkshake of a day you’d had. 
“I’m sorry,” Alice didn’t sound as remorseful as you wish she did. You knew that deep down, she was enjoying this little game and would be more than happy to spread this information back to her friends. “I shouldn’t have assumed.”
“It’s fine, the damage is done,” you sighed, shoving a handful of candy in your mouth. 
“Have you seen Joel and Cindy, though? They’re so cute together!”
It was now clearer than ever that Alice was only interacting with you to stir the pot, so you simply put on the best fake smile you could muster and nodded. “Adorable. Now if you don’t mind, I’m gonna go sit back down. I haven’t seen Chloe play in a few weeks, and she was doing so well in the last game, I’m sure she’s doing great now too!”
You didn’t wait for a response before walking off, attempting to suppress all of the feelings you were having with this new information you’d been given. In the three weeks you’d been gone, Alice had convinced the team that you and Nathan were back together, and Joel had already moved on. If you hadn’t cared so much about Chloe’s passions, you would’ve had her quit on the spot. You simply could not handle any more of this soccer parent culture. 
Sitting back down in your seat, you offered Joel an M&M, to which he politely declined. You wondered if there was a way for you to casually explain that you and Nathan were not and would not ever be an item again, but then again, it seemed like with Cindy in the picture, the ship of making anything work with you two had sailed. 
You attempted to focus on your daughter, who unsurprisingly was doing quite well in the game. You were glad that no matter how shitty your day was turning out, your kin was at least having a better day—and having fun doing it.
You simply went through the motions through the rest of the day, squeezing your daughter tight with a hug when all of the games for the day were finished and telling Sarah about how great of a job she did, then falling back into a somewhat uncomfortable silence on your drive to the hotel. 
Checking in had proved to be… a bit of an odd situation. As you pocketed your room keys, Chloe made an odd offer—her and Sarah would share a room while you and Joel would share your own. 
It shouldn’t have surprised you as much as it did when your daughters proposed that you and Joel share a room so that they could have a sleepover, but it caught you off guard regardless. 
You were hesitant for several obvious reasons, but their room was adjoined to yours, and there was a perfectly nice pull-out bed in the sofa, which meant there was absolutely no need to share a bed with Joel. After some consideration and discussion with the man who would be your roommate for the night, you ultimately settled on allowing it. You would take the sofa. Joel would take the bed.
Besides, it’s not like he’d be spending the majority of the night in the room. After a short conversation, he was getting dressed and going off to dinner with Cindy. 
You tried not to feel bad for yourself for too long. You’d already spent the majority of the day feeling bad for yourself, whether it was for the shitty situations you found yourself in, or the way the moms on your team treated your love life like their favorite reality show.
Knocking on the door adjacent to your own, you were happy to see Chloe crack open her door. 
“Hi girls,” you greeted. “What do you say to a pajama party?”
“Yes!” Chloe squealed, swinging her door wide open. Conveniently, they were already dressed the part, and were seemingly ready to wind down after a long day of physical activity. 
After ordering an absurd amount of room service and having nothing short of a feast with your favorite pre-teens, the three of you sat on the floor under a blanket fort you’d constructed as you played Uno with some random network romcom playing in the background. 
It felt like after a long day of holding your breath, you could finally let go of it, winding down with your two favorite children.
“Do you feel like you had a good day today?” you asked, placing a green three on top of the pile of cards. 
“Yeah! I missed having you and my dad together at our games,” Sarah remarked, drawing a card. 
Chloe nodded in agreement, setting down one of her own cards. “You really spice up our games. I think Joel yells a little louder at us when you’re here. He was pretty quiet when dad was bringing me.”
You tried not to let your emotions show on your face too much in front of the children, but it was undeniably sweet that you being around brightened Joel’s light, even now, when things were a little more awkward between the two of you. You simply hummed as you set down your card.
“Yeah, he kept asking me if I knew where you were,” Sarah drew a card then placed the card back down on the pile. “I think he missed you.”
So maybe Joel wasn’t as mad at you as you thought he was. Asking where you were had to be a good sign, right? Maybe it really just boiled down to him thinking you were back together with your ex-husband, and him not wanting to cross any boundaries. 
“I think you’re our good luck charm. Did you see how well we played today?” Chloe asked, discarding a card. “Uno.”
“I think you guys are just good,” you set down a card. “Uno.”
“I dunno, when you were gone we kept losing,” Sarah set down a skip, causing Chloe to exclaim in frustration. 
“Our friendship is over,” Chloe announced to Sarah for what must’ve been the third time that night. 
“Mean it this time?” she teased. 
“I swear!” the pair broke out into giggles as you set down your final card. 
“We need to team up on you! How is it that you keep winning?” Sarah asked, pointing an accusatory finger at you. 
“She’s a dirty cheater,” Chloe tutted. “Just ask her why we don’t play Monopoly anymore. Right, mom?”
“Hey!” you exclaimed. “It was a rough patch. I keep winning Uno because you two keep targeting each other. What happened to team work?”
“No such thing in Uno,” Sarah shrugged. 
You laughed aloud, feeling some of your stress melting away with the motion, “you guys are too funny.”
Chloe yawned and reached for the pile in the middle of your little circle. “You can’t compliment your way out of this, cheater.”
“Ugh, whatever. I didn’t realize I raised such a sore loser.”
“Takes one to know one!” Chloe jeered. 
“Sure,” you chuckled. “Well, I think it's this cheater’s bedtime. Can I help you guys undo the pillow fort?”
The girls agreed, and you helped take down the mess of blankets, chairs, and pillows as they began to wind down and settle into bed.
“Goodnight, girls,” you bid farewell as you approached the adjoining door. “If you need anything, just come on over, okay? Sweet dreams,” you blew kisses to both of them before going back over to your side of the room.
When you made it back to your room, Joel was already in bed, the soft light of the television illuminating his face in the otherwise dark room. The light from the screen and his pajamas were doing him all sorts of favors, making him look like he walked straight out of your domestic fantasy. 
“When did you get back?” you asked as you grabbed your phone charger from your bag and approached the pull-out bed. 
“Like, an hour ago,” he shrugged, leaning back against the headboard. 
“You should’ve come over and played Uno with us,” you suggested, attempting to get cozy in your makeshift bed as you pulled the threadbare hotel blanket over your legs. “We had a little fort and everything.”
“Didn’t wanna intrude on your girls’ night,” he mumbled sleepily, hugging a pillow as he adjusted himself in bed.
“We would’ve been happy to have you,” you muttered, trying your best to relax in the rather uncomfortable makeshift bed.
Joel simply grunted in response, his eyes now shut. You could only assume that sleep set in quickly, and you’d now lost him to dreamland.  
You stared up at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep. Part of you wished that this whole day was just an awful dream, and that you’d wake up the morning after the team dinner at Joel’s house, able to do everything all over again. 
Rolling onto your side, you hoped that the shitty pull-out bed would become even slightly more comfortable, but your hope was to no avail. You sighed softly and closed your eyes, wondering if you started counting sheep, if it’d be any easier to fall asleep.
About fifteen sheep in, Joel’s soft voice calling your name pulled you out of whatever sleepy daze you’d been in. 
“Hey, are you sleeping yet?” he practically whispered. 
“No,” you responded, voice far above a whisper. “The floor would probably be more comfortable than this.”
“I told you you shouldn’t have taken the pull-out bed,” he goaded.
“You wanna get down here and sleep on it for me?”
“No. Well… Would it help you sleep better?”
“Joel,” you huffed.
“I shouldn’t have asked,” you listened as the bedsheets began to rustle.
“No, no, don’t do that. Your body needs an actual bed after all that hard manual labor you do. Lay back down.”
“Not if you can’t fall asleep because of that shitty bed. Trust me, I’ve slept in worse conditions.”
“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Now I’m going to sleep. Goodnight.”
Joel paused for a second, and you assumed he’d finally given up. Good.
Until he called your name once again. “Come up here and get a good night’s rest.”
“No,” you argued, though your sleepy brain was practically begging you to move to the comfier location. “You need it more than me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
You snickered, “whatever you want it to mean.”
Silence on his end once again. Time to start herding your sheep. 
“Why don’t we just share? There’s probably room for three of me on this bed.”
A bold proposition from a man who got back from a date only a few hours ago. A bold proposition that you were probably a bit too enthusiastic to take. 
“Fine,” you huffed. “Only to get you off my ass.”
Every part of your body was thanking you as you slipped out of the shitty couch-bed and padded over to the empty side of the real bed. Tentatively, you got in bed and under the sheets, making sure to keep yourself on your side and keeping your back facing his.
“Goodnight, Joel.” you finally whispered. 
“Goodnight,” he softly said your name, and you imagined the look on his face. Maybe in a different world, one where you’d gone on a date with him when the offer was on the table, you’d be in bed with him without the argument, with his arm wrapped around your waist as he wrapped you in a warm embrace, or with him hovering above you as you attempted to keep quiet in a hotel filled with guests who were more than willing to speculate about you.
It was nice to have someone in bed with you again. Even if all you had was the heat radiating off of the man next to you, and the sound of his deep breaths as he fell deeper and deeper into sleep. Despite all that had gone wrong in the day, and whatever Joel’s situation was with his date, somehow laying in bed with someone else made you feel at ease.
You didn’t have to count any more sheep to fall asleep that night. 
When you woke up, Joel was already out of bed, pulling on a hat and slipping on his shoes. “Oh good, you’re awake,” he commented as you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes. “Wanna get complimentary breakfast before it goes away?”
You stretched out as you listened to the proposition, wondering if the phantom feeling of an arm around your waist during the night was real or just a dream. “You know me so well.”
Somehow, the tension between the two of you didn’t feel so heavy that morning. Maybe sleeping in bed together had helped to break the ice, or maybe some other variable was at play. Regardless, you were happy to feel like your relationship had gone back to what it had been a month ago, even if Joel really was beginning to form something with Cindy. 
The hotel lobby wasn’t too busy when you and Joel went down. You were certainly grateful, as the fact that you had just rolled out of bed and gone to breakfast was more than obvious to anyone who’d looked at you for more than two seconds. 
You were stirring endless circles into your coffee when Joel sat down across from you, sighing as he leaned back into his chair. 
“Sleep well?” he asked before taking a hearty sip of his own coffee. 
You held back a laugh and exchanged it for the slightest hint of a smile. If only he knew just how well you slept. “I guess,” you admitted. “I always sleep well in hotel beds.”
You were completely uncertain of how to address the bed-sized elephant in the room, or if it was even a good idea to do so. But the lack of coffee in your system and the remnants of sleep clouding your brain had lowered your inhibitions significantly, causing the next words to tumble out of your mouth. 
“Thank you for letting me join you,” you involuntarily held your breath after saying so, too afraid to openly wait for his reaction. 
“Of course,” he hummed, beginning to stab at some of the food on his plate. “I couldn’t just let you break your back on that couch-bed.”
“Well I appreciate it,” you began to pick at some of your own food, the two of you falling into a far more comfortable silence. Obviously something had shifted between the time of the game and now, but you couldn’t quite place it. Since you were already in the mood to address elephants in the room, you had no issue blurting, “How was your date last night?”
“Date?” Joel looked up from his scrambled eggs with a furrowed brow. 
“With Cindy? From the other team?” you took a bite of toast and didn’t back down from the loaded eye contact going on between the two of you.
“Well, it wasn’t a date. Cindy’s married. Happily, I might add. Just catching up with a family friend.”
You were slightly taken aback, but not necessarily in a bad way. Suddenly, you felt silly for all the energy you’d wasted the day prior feeling jealous and bad for yourself, when you didn’t even know the full story.
“Well, what about Nathan? Is he a family friend?” it came out defensive, and you couldn’t particularly blame him for it. Finally some proof that this was what that weird tension had been all about. 
Maybe if your mind was slightly more clear, you’d find it cute that you were both a little jealous over each other. Maybe you really hadn’t thrown away your chance at this thing the way you’d thought you did.  
“No! I told you, I’ve been swamped with work. Like, getting home so late that I only see Chloe in the mornings and when I tuck her into bed, late. She needed to go to her games, and I knew there was only one person I could possibly guilt trip into bringing her. But I would rather marry the actual incarnation of Satan himself before spending another day with her father.”
“Oh,” Joel said quietly, lifting his disposable cup to his lips and seeming rather deep in thought.
“But you thought I was with him this whole time?”
“I guess?”
“And you still invited me into your bed?” you pressed, a hint of amusement in your voice.
“There was nothing inherently romantic or… sexual about that. I just didn’t want you to wake up in pain,” he set down his cup, but continued staring you down.
You shrugged. Solid answer, although you certainly wouldn’t be opposed to either alternative scenarios. 
“But even if there was, it’s only because you deserve better than that man. And from what I’ve seen, pretty much any man is better than him.”
“Including you?” you pressed. 
“What do you think?” the little smirk he was obviously trying to fight only egged you on. 
“I think I agree with you. Except, I don’t love that you just assumed something about my relationship status because one of those human rumor mills told you it. Next time, you wait until you hear it from me, okay?”
“I normally would’ve, I guess I’m just so used to things not working out with me, my brain was just looking for a reason why this wouldn’t work out either.”
“To be fair, not contacting you after saying I’d go out with you is pretty solid grounds for thinking we wouldn’t work out. But at least let me take you on a date before we try to figure out if we’ll work out or not.”
“You still want to go on that date?” Joel asked, sounding more astonished than you would’ve expected. 
“What do you think?” you winked, tossing his words right back at him. 
Just as your exchange began to wrap up, you were joined by two sleepy kids, who most certainly heard part of your conversation about going on a date. You couldn’t even bother with feeling mortified, too high on the knowledge that you had yet another shot with Joel. 
“How was your sleepover?” you asked the girls without missing a beat. 
“Fun. We missed you, though,” Chloe sighed as she buttered up a bagel. 
“Yeah, Uno’s not the same without you,” Sarah added as she began to cut up her pancakes. 
“I’m flattered, girls. We’ll have to have an Uno tournament sometime and get Joel on it too. Mostly so he can witness me beating everyone’s ass at it.”
“Language, mom. And we all know you’re a cheater.”
“Keep telling yourself that, sweetie.”
“I don’t know, I kinda believe it,” Joel teased. 
“Not you too, Joel! You’re supposed to be on my side,” you laughed. 
Your table fell into comfortable conversation for the rest of breakfast before you had to send the girls off to go get ready for their games. You almost wanted to pinch yourself to check if you were still dreaming after waking up in this domestic paradise following the terrible day you’d had yesterday, but even if it was a dream, you weren’t sure you wanted to wake up.
The rest of the tournament went smoothly, with the ice sufficiently broken between you and Joel, and you even joining in on his conversations with Cindy as the three of you sat together. The girls’ team ultimately won, leading to some very happy passengers as you drove back home. As you exited Joel’s car, you gave him a soft kiss on the cheek and a whispered promise of going out with him soon. To think, when you’d started your weekend, you never would have believed it would end in this manner. 
——
“Mom, hurry!” Chloe yelled up the stairs at you, sounding a little more impatient than what you would’ve liked. 
You could understand where she was coming from. Following the end of the soccer season, Joel had been quite busy, and Chloe hadn’t been able to see her closest friend outside of school hours for quite some time. If you were Chloe, you’d probably be anxious to see Sarah too.
Hurrying down the stairs with a newfound sense of urgency, you gave your daughter a little side hug. 
“I’m sorry, sweetie,” you apologized, understanding her urgency a little too well.
“Don’t be sorry. Just be efficient,” she pulled away from you and checked out your clothing. Sure, it was 6 PM and you were already in your pajamas. Sue you for wanting to come back home after a long day at work and put on your softest cat-printed pajama pants. “That’s a good outfit.”
“Oh, thank you. I was actually invited to Paris Fashion Week, but-“
“You can tell me in the car!” she exclaimed as she scurried off, with you following behind the little slippery bastard. 
In the car, Chloe seemed to be acting a little… suspicious. Although, you didn’t pay much mind to it, making small talk on the short drive over to her friend’s house. Her friend whose father you still hadn’t found time to go out with. 
“Oh yeah, being here reminded me that Joel had something to tell you,” Chloe announced as you pulled into their driveway. “Come in with me?”
By now, you were slightly suspicious, but the idea of having some sort of confrontation by Joel about you not following through on your word once again overrode your suspicions of your child. 
As Chloe rang the doorbell, Sarah swung the door open, smiling at her friend, then up at you. 
“Hi, come on in!” she said sweetly, opening the door all the way and leading you inside. 
As you walked in, your eyes caught on a makeshift pillow fort—one that oddly resembled the one you’d helped the girls make during their tournament. Cute.
“My dad’s inside. He wants to talk to you. See you later, bye!” Sarah talked quickly, and even quicker than her speech, she disappeared up the stairs with your daughter.
Something was definitely up.
You approached the fort with trepidation, and slowly pulled up a flap, where you found Joel dressed similarly to you in a loose shirt and plaid pajama pants, comfortably splayed out on his back while he seemed to be playing Candy Crush on his phone. 
“Oh, hey,” you said awkwardly. “The girls said you wanted to talk to me?” 
“Oh, hey,” he parroted back, seeming even more taken aback by your presence as he immediately sat up. “Uh, I actually didn’t know you were coming over?”
Oh.
It was always something with your kids. They knew how to scheme, and they knew how to scheme well.
“That’s fine,” you laughed to yourself about the situation. “I was gonna head out anyway. It was good to see you, and for the record, you clean up pretty well,” you teased, alluding to your similar mid-evening pajamas. 
“Wait!” he said quickly, nearly cutting you off. “Sorry, wait. Don’t go yet. Unless you have somewhere else to be…?”
You shook your head and shrugged. 
“I mean, obviously our kids set us up again, but we also haven’t followed through on that date yet. So maybe we can do it now?”
“Maybe,” you hummed as you sat down next to him on a mountain of pillows. “What would you want to do?” you asked, gently tapping his leg with your fuzzy-sock clad foot. (Chloe didn’t need to know that what was taking you so long was finding these god-forsaken socks.)
“Well, I’ve been wanting to take you out to some snobby, fancy restaurant,” he began. 
“Oh?” you voiced, brows raised. 
“But I don’t really think that’s either of our speeds.”
“Agreed. I don’t know where you’re going with this, but I’m liking it so far.”
“We also probably shouldn’t leave the girls home alone at night,” he continued to think out loud, his soft eyes never leaving your own. You almost felt like you were caught in a trance by them. 
“So what do you suggest we do, Joel?” you asked. 
“Well, we have this wonderful pillow fort already at our disposal. Maybe we can order some food and watch a movie?”
“I think sitting in a pillow fort while eating food and watching a movie is my love language. That sounds lovely.”
You two smiled at each other, and you could hear your heartbeat pound in your ears as a warm feeling filled your chest. It had been far too long since you’d felt any semblance of this feeling.
An abundance of Thai food and an argument over what movie to watch later, you were curled up like a cat beside Joel admiring the look of his face under the lighting of the fairy lights that were hung up throughout the little fort. 
“Ugh, why haven’t we done this sooner?” you asked, lifting your head out of the dip of his shoulder. 
“We’re both too busy,” he murmured, looking away from the television screen to look over at you. 
“I’ll literally take sick time off just to do this again,” you remarked. 
“I think that’s just the Thai food talking.”
“It was fucking amazing.”
“Told you.”
“But it’s not just the Thai food. I really like you a lot, Joel. I like spending time with you. I like talking to you and arguing about whether a shitty romcom or shitty action movie is better. I like doing mundane shit with you, like putting up fairy lights in a fort to enhance our ‘fort experience’. I like cuddling with you. Has anyone ever told you that you’re basically a human furnace? Anyway, I hate the fact that our daughters had to make an elaborate scheme just to get us together. I wanna make more time for you, because you deserve it. But like, only if you also wanna spend more time with me,” you confessed. 
“Of course I want to spend more time with you. And in the spirit of honesty, I really do have the time, sometimes. I guess I just worry that you wouldn’t want to spend your free time with me.”
“Joel, I would sit and watch paint dry on a wall if you were there with me. From the moment you entered my life, you’ve made everything a little better. If I have the time, I’m never gonna say no to being with you.”
He paused for a moment as he seemed to process that information, only coming back with a quiet, “Can I kiss you?”
You grabbed his cheeks and kissed him like no one you’d ever kissed before. It felt like the Fourth of July in your stomach as a moment you felt you’d been waiting for all your life finally came to fruition. 
By the time you pulled away, you were breathless and felt warm all over. You could go out on a limb and say that as far as dates go, this one was pretty successful, and to think, if it wasn’t for your daughters’ intervention, none of this would’ve happened. 
Yeah, you definitely needed to treat them to something.
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kamiversee · 2 months
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➶-͙˚ ༘✶ 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁*𝘾𝙆 𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏
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✧.* CHAPTER 35 || The Failing Streak
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[ { SYPNOSIS } ] ➤ A tale in which Gojo Satoru blackmails you into seducing a list of people to clear his debt. Sounds easy enough, right?
[ { CHAPTER CONTENT } ] ➤ language, fluff, & a tinge of angst.
[ { WORD COUNT } ] ➤ 3.6k
[ { PAIRINGS } ] ➤ jjk men x f!reader. gojo x f!reader. geto x f!reader. toji x f!reader. choso x f!reader. sukuna x f!reader. nanami x f!reader.
[ [ chapters mlist } ]
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——WRONG, AS USUAL. Oh, it was so clear that Nanami was the only person on the list who could actually be considered difficult or hard.
And the crazy part about it was that it wasn’t him who made his level of difficulty so high, it was more of his situation. You considered him to be the hardest on the list because, well, you couldn’t get a hold of the damn man.
Sitting down and having a conversation with him? Oh please, it was damn there impossible. Being able to get a hi or hello out to the man and hopefully lead to flirting and seducing him? Yeah, not a snowball’s chance in hell were going to accomplish such a thing so easily.
Worst part about it was always that it wasn’t his doing. None of it was intentional, simply coincidental. But even so, it was frustratingly coincidental enough for you to consider Nanami the most difficult name to check off the list.
After your deed with Sukuna, you still spent some time not exactly talking to Gojo. Even after you went out of your way to send him a thank you text, which you don’t normally do, for the money he sent-- Gojo only replied by hearting your message.
You didn’t like how he avoided you, even though it was probably best for the two of you considering all the shit he’s keeping from you and how desperately you wanted to understand him. But, all of his avoiding you only lasted two more weeks before you were set to see the man.
To keep the timeline in check, the week Gojo originally took you to see Nanami, on the Friday after Sukuna’s party, it turned out that Nanami only goes out every other week. The following week, in which Nanami would’ve been at said nightclub, you didn’t go because you needed a day or two to recover from Sukuna. Leading up to now, two weeks after Sukuna and dating to the end of November.
You felt like you were running out of time for some reason, even though Gojo assures you that Nanami goes to said Nightclub every other week and has been doing so for maybe two years straight.
As of this very second, you were dressed in this lovely blue dress with matching blue heels, all of which Gojo had purchased for you, as you sat in the passenger seat of the man’s car.
Time was moving by fast and yet slow at the same time. On days like today, when you were starting to work toward seducing a new person, the hours dragged on. Yet, on days when you didn’t do anything regarding the list, they’d fly by in the blink of an eye.
It was like your studies, classwork, and finals didn’t even phase you anymore. This was crazy to think about when just a year ago around this time of finals season had you swamped and panicked like crazy. Yet, this year it seems that you weren’t worried at all.
Your studies were always held at the top of your priority list, no matter what. So, as the year slowly crept up to its end, you weren’t one bit unprepared for your tests since you spent almost all your free time studying.
Back to the current though; here you were in Gojo’s car. Had a word been said to each other so far? Not really. Gojo only greeted you for a moment with a hey, not even placing his eyes on your own like he usually would, and then he asked if you were ready. After you responded with a yes, he was quick to turn the radio up to fill the silence and begin the drive.
You didn’t remember the drive being as long last time but it felt like you were in the car with Gojo forever and not talking to him or not hearing him talk to you was eating away at your insides. It was so unusual.
Even though you hated Gojo, and yes, hated because you’re not sure if that’s still how you feel despite what you may tell him, he’d still talk your ear off no matter what. But now, he was so quiet.
If it wasn’t for the radio playing their end-of-year tunes, you’d be dying in the awkward silence. Even so, at one point the man seemed to be annoyed by the Christmas songs that played and you watch him move a hand to change the station, quickly going to a random one that played some kind of R&B.
He seemed more relaxed once the songs changed and you couldn’t help but steal multiple glances at the man. They were very short glances though, never anything more than a peak over at him. Gojo wasn’t dressed up like the week prior because he didn’t plan on going inside with you this time, just dropping you off.
The low hum of the car along with the slow tunes of the music eased into your ears as he drove and drove and drove. It was rather late into the night so as you stared straight ahead, you lost yourself in your thoughts.
You wanted to say something to Gojo, anything to get him to talk but, you didn’t know what. You weren’t even sure why you wanted to speak to him so badly, there was a time when you wished for him to shut up and now he was.
You hate how the universe does this to you. When you wanted him silent he’d talk for hours and when you wanted him to speak, he was mute.
Part of you debated on asking him if he was okay or how he’s been these past two weeks. There was this burning curiosity inside you in regards to Gojo, the image of him sobbing into your chest plaguing your mind endlessly and you even felt like you could still hear his broken words and pitched voice.
Your eyes squeeze shut at the memory. No matter how shitty he’s treated you or treats you, you don’t think you ever want to see that man cry again. It was the most beautifully disturbing image ever. He looked like an angel the more you think about it.
His eyes were glossed over and appeared to be all glass-like due to the azure shade embedded into his irises, those pretty fluffy white eyelashes of his, thinned and coated with water, his pale face fused with shades of red and pink along with the way his eyebrows, eyes, and mouth would twist and contour into sadness…
You had to shake the image out of your head. You never want to see something so angelically sad in your life again. It almost haunts you how Gojo Satoru seemed to be the prettiest crier.
As you shake yourself from your recollection, the car comes to a stop and your eyes open. You were at the nightclub already. Your mouth suddenly went dry and you didn’t want to go in just yet. Going in meant you would meet Nanami, hopefully sleep with him by the end of the night, and possibly never get the chance to talk to Gojo properly again.
The sound of Beyonce’s voice was in your ears and you furrowed your brows as you looked at the screen in between you and Gojo. Haunted by Beyonce was on, the song nearing its end, and at that one part, the kinda’ part that would make someone feel like they were in a scene from a movie.
You finally turn your head to Gojo, looking at him fully instead of a mere glance. Gojo looks so damn perfect? Your heart throbs in your chest and you don’t know if it was the music drilling into your ears or the man beside you but…
He had his eyes up on the sun visor where a little mirror was, making sure he looked okay. You don’t think he knew you were staring at him-- taking in his clear skin, gorgeous side profile, sharp jawline that led you to look at his neck, a hickey you left on him present even after it being weeks since you last slept with him, and the white t-shirt he wore clung to his body like always.
The echoing of your heartbeat got louder and louder the more you stared at him, the song was almost over and you swear it was in slow motion that Gojo turned his head to you, meeting your unwavering gaze. At that very second, time had either stopped or frozen and you felt your breath hitch.
Those blue eyes of his were dilated like crazy as they met your face. His lips were so plush and rose-tinted, his cheeks decorated in a faint blush simply because he’s caught you staring at him and you saw the way his eyes softened. A look of never-ending love was given to you and you felt like you could die happy because of that look alone.
He didn’t need to say anything to you, his eyes said it all, and they helped you overcome your confliction within seconds. Your eyelashes fluttered into a slow blink and Gojo didn’t say anything but his gaze flicked down to your lips for a split second, then back up to your eyes.
Gojo Satoru was-
You had to turn away. Your heart was pounding in your chest and your breathing suddenly caught up with you, nearly making you choke. Holy shit, this can not be happening right now. You are not falling for your blackmailer.
Right?
You don’t hate him but you can’t love him. You don’t love him. Right?
Your face is heated and you brought your hands over yourself to try and collect whatever the hell emotions just blossomed in the pit of your stomach. You could feel the way your heart rate was beating differently. Curse Gojo and the stupid song for having you feel this way.
The soft, yet deep sound of your name being said causes the hairs on the back of your neck to stand up. Why are you suddenly so nervous? What the hell is wrong with you?
“You alright, sweetheart?” Gojo asks and god his voice is so sappy with love and emotion that it makes your stomach churn.
You can’t look at him so you remain turned away, “Mhm, I’m f-fine.” You hated the shake in your voice, the nerves so clearly obvious.
Gojo can’t read what it is you’re experiencing but he wishes he could. He wants to know why you turned away so suddenly with your face all flustered. “Look at me,” The man whispered.
You couldn’t. There was already something wrong with your heart and you absolutely could not look at the man right now, “I uhm…” You exhale softly, “I should head inside…”
A hand is raised to the door and you go to open it but Gojo’s hand is suddenly on your thigh, his touch making your body tense, “I know I’ve been quiet but, I don’t want you to go in there all nervous. What’s wrong, love?”
Oh god. That. That’s what’s wrong. Love, sweetheart, sweets, whatever it is it always yanks you by the strings of your heart and wraps them around your neck, leaving you in a heart-wrenching chokehold. You wonder if Gojo even realizes how in love he sounds when he speaks to you.
“N-Nothing,” You whisper, still yet to look at him.
Gojo sighs, “You’re lying, sweets. What’s wrong, c’mon, tell me before you go.”
“Fuck,” You whisper out loud, just barely catching his ears. You then turn your head to him and Gojo’s eyes go wide at your expression.
He’s never seen you look at him with such dilated pupils outside of when you were horny and, that couldn’t possibly be the case right now… right?
“Satoru, I… Something’s wrong,” You murmur, you don’t know where you’re going with this but he wanted you to say something so you’re trying your best to do so.
Gojo blinks a could times to make sure he’s not imagining the look in your eyes. “Damn right something’s wrong, did you drink or smoke before I came to get you?” He suddenly asks.
You shake your head no.
“Then…” Gojo blinks, “Why’re you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?”
“You’re pupils are dilated.” He points out.
Your eyes widen, “A-Are they?”
“Mhm,” Gojo hums softly, almost in awe. He then whispers your name, “Are you…”
“N-No.” You say, feeling like he was about to ask if you were horny.
Gojo tilts his head, “Okay well…” He doesn’t know what to say or how to feel about the dilation of your pupils. He only sees it from time to time, a few times when you talked about Choso, and almost every time you were horny.
So if you’re not horny… or high, or drunk… then…
“It’s not a crime,” Gojo comments.
You grit your teeth, “Might as well be.”
His brows tense. He can feel the emotions you’re experiencing exuding off you, “You’re allowed to-”
“I shouldn’t.” You cut off,
He frowns, “But you can-”
“You told me I shouldn’t.” There’s a shake in your voice that doesn’t go unnoticed.
“I…” Gojo sighs heavily, “I know but, i-if you do then I…”
There’s so much going unspoken but the two of you knew what either was saying, you understood each other more than either of you realized.
“You what?” You ask him.
“Well, I love you too.” Gojo shrugs, “But, you already know that.”
“I don’t-,” You huff, wanting to deny the fact that you love him in the first place, “Satoru, I… I can’t love you.”
“I know,” His voice is so soft, so gentle with you. He understands what you’re going through and can see the worry in your face.
Your voice trembles, “I shouldn’t be-”
“But you are.” Gojo cuts off, he knows it and he’s not going to let it go. “Your mouth tells you that you aren’t but, your heart and soul know.”
“K-Know what?” You ask breathily.
“That you’re falling for me.”
“I’m not.”
Gojo grins, “I’ll catch you if you do.”
“I didn’t fall,” You say firmly, “I t-tripped but, I never fell. And I won’t.”
“Watch your step next time,” He whispers.
You turn your head and meet his eyes again, “I will.”
The two of you gaze at one another, both of your pupils unknowingly dilated and both of your hearts swelling with emotion. You open your mouth to say something, not even sure of what, but Gojoj cuts you off.
“Go inside,” He says, voice gentle.
“What if I don’t want to.” You mumble. When did you grow so attached to Gojo? Why are you afraid to part from him?
“Oh sweetheart,” He shuts his eyes and sighs, “You know the repercussions behind that.”
“There doesn’t have to be any though, you don’t-”
“There needs to be.” He interrupts, putting that wall of his right back up. “Go inside, we aren’t doing this again.”
“Satoru-”
“Please, go inside my love.” Gojo murmurs.
You shift and his eyes open. Gojo is met with your hand making light contact with his face and like always, he melts into your touch. “Satoru,” You say again.
“Yes?” He hums.
“Before I go,” You’re speaking slowly, unsure if you want to say it out loud. Once you do so, it’ll be official.
Gojo rubs his cheek into your palm before moving his hand over your own, turning his head, and kissing your hand softly, “What is it, sweetheart? Tell me.”
“I don’t hate you anymore.” You finally voice out.
The man’s poor heart could only take so much. He inhales a sharp breath, “Okay.”
“Remember that,” You continue, “I don’t hate you, Satoru.”
“G-God,” He stammers, “You’re gonna make me cry again, sweets.”
“Save your tears,” You chuckle.
He nods, “For another day?”
“Are you really referencing The Weekend right now?” You giggle.
Gojo smiles, “Yeah.”
“You’re an idiot,” You comment.
“Your idiot.”
And there’s your heart pounding again, “Don’t say that.”
“Y’know what you are?” Gojo asks, peering into your eyes with nothing but affection, “You’re my eternity.”
“What does that even mean?” You’ll never get over his way with words.
“My forever,” Gojo explains, “But I believe forever has an end and, eternity doesn’t. So by that I mean,” He leans toward you and his forehead rests against yours, “No matter what happens, even through death, my heart will always beat for you.”
You feel uneasy hearing him say that. It’s beautiful like always but, there’s something deeper lying beneath his sugar-coated words, “Satoru…”
“Hm?” He hums.
Your hand caresses his cheek, “Can you promise me something?”
“Anything,” Gojo says with zero hesitation.
“Promise me you won’t hurt yourself.”
He’s quiet for a long moment, your words ringing through his ears. Then, he sighs heavily, “It’s far too late for that.”
You frown, “I mean physically.”
“I…” Gojo trails off. Were you really worried about him harming himself?
“Promise me.” You say again, needing to hear him promise you in order to feel okay.
“I promise.” Gojo tells you, “I’ll never physically hurt myself.”
You knew he’d already mentally hurt himself so you didn’t feel the need to have him promise not to do such again. But, with the way he’d been acting over the past month or so, you needed to make sure that the man wouldn’t go on and do something insane.
So with that, you end up parting from the man finally, feeling much better about the situation now that you’d spoken to him. You’re at peace now and he is too, him more than he let on.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
Now, here’s where things got tricky.
Nanami Kento.
As stated earlier, you end up having difficulty catching the man at the right time.
On this second attempt to speak to him, as you entered the nightclub, you were actually able to spot him with no problem. The thing is, while you made your way over to him, you watched the man drop a couple of bills onto the bar and then get up and leave.
Okay, you didn’t want that to stop you at first, thinking to accidentally run into him and then go on from there. Yet, as you tried to do so, you didn’t even bump him at all, nor did he see you. Nanami had walked right past you and right out of the building.
There went your second attempt. As for the third attempt, which then dated into the second week of December, you missed him yet again. That time, when you arrived, he was talking to this short brown harried man with big bright doe eyes.
You didn’t want to just walk up to Nanami, you wanted it to be as natural as possible so, you didn’t approach him then either and waited for a moment where he was alone. The brown-haired man went off in the direction of the bathroom and you had gotten up from your seat with the intent of approaching Nanami.
…Only to be beaten by some other woman who approaches him. He didn’t seem too interested in what she had to say but he spoke to her nonetheless, conversating long enough for the other guy to return to him and make you miss your opportunity.
Thus, the third attempt down the drain.
This led you to a bit of a pause. Why? Well, since it was the second week of December, for you, it was also the last week of the semester.
This meant that the following week, and or, the remainder of December was winter break for you. That means that the next time you would see Nanami would be just after Christmas and possibly before New Year's.
You had plans for those weeks so, you’d have to skip coming to this nightclub again. That frustrated you because, well, that means you’d be trying to get with Nanami in the following year and almost a month from now.
It sucked but, you were content with that. It’s not like you could get ahold of him as it was anyway. So, after that night you went home by Uber.
How were you to spend your winter break exactly? Well, most of it you wanted to spend with Shoko but you and her worked it out where on Christmas week, you’d go home to your family to spend most of that day with them and then return in the afternoon.
Shoko didn’t have family to go home to and you knew she spent her Christmases with Gojo and Geto but even so, she pleaded for you to spend it with her and them this year and after a talk with your family, it was agreed that you’d do exactly that.
Nanami would have to wait until the holidays were over.Which was completely fine but, you weren’t expecting such an eventful Christmas… Perhaps it’ll go down as the most memorable for you, especially since it was just full of surprises.
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GOJO SATORU ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮
GETO SUGURU ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮
TOJI FUSHIGURO ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙈𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙪𝙢
KAMO CHOSO ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙈𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙪𝙢 / 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮
ZEN'IN NAOYA ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙭𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮
ITADORI SUKUNA ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮???
NANAMI KENTO ☐ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙃𝙖𝙧𝙙
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mlist || previous chapt || next chpt
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bozowrites · 3 months
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starved man
tom blyth x f!reader : tom feels a way he shouldn't and lets those feelings get in the way of work. (angsty)
wc : 1.2k
a/n : couldn't help myself. i love this man. might write a parallel imagine of the scene in this as a billy x reader fic.
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maybe tom was wrong for feeling this way. well, he was—he knew that, but you can’t help the way you feel; that’s what tom keeps telling himself. he taps at his leg with his finger, anticipating the scene he was about to do with yn. he couldn’t wait any longer, he was ready to get going. it felt like this exciting and nerve-wracking whirlwind. like when you’re about to ask out your crush and can’t wait for their answer, but too scared to hear the answer at the same time. tom bites his lower lip, bouncing his leg. “dude,” daniel deadpans beside him. “you’re gonna burn a hole through her if you keep staring.” 
tom laughs awkwardly, shaking himself out of it. “i was out of it, didn’t realize.”
“right,” daniel leans in closer to tom, keeping his tone low, “so you aren’t dying to kiss her in this scene?” tom gulps, raising a brow and eyes daniel. “who said i was?”
“no one, but its pretty obvious.” tom scoffs, rubbing his forehead, already annoyed, not with daniel but with himself. this wasn’t how these last few weeks of filming were supposed to go. yn was in for a few episodes of billy the kid, playing a character that billy would fall for, though, of course, wouldn’t get in the end. and, within just the few weeks he’d been getting to know yn, he wanted so much more from her. and, yeah, he was excited because, yeah, he was going to kiss her. this was an excuse to touch her body and feel her lips against his, no questions asked ‘cause this was for work. 
“it is?” tom asks, looking over to meet daniel’s stare. “to me. i don’t know ‘bout anyone else.” he shrugs. “looks like they’re ready for you. try not to have too much fun!” 
tom’s heart stutters. he shouldn’t be this excited. he can’t be. he takes his place, getting himself into it, into character, ready for the cameras. yn smiles wide at him from her spot across the set. he smiles back, he couldn’t not even if he tried. this scene wasn’t going to be the same for her as it was for him and selfishly, he hoped they’d have to redo the scene over and over again. 
on cue, tom is his character. the scene is smooth sailing, he’s practiced his lines well enough with everyone to know what he is doing, but the closer he gets to the kiss; the faster he is with his words, desperate to get to where he wants to be. his heart feels loud and hammers against his chest. he really felt like a schoolboy waiting to confess his feelings. tom’s close to yn, staring directly down at her, her lips. he can’t seem to look away to save his life. she’s stopped talking, he looks up. what was his line again? he looks down at her lips again, he just needs to kiss her. “goddammit.” tom mutters. he dives for her lips. he groans the moment he feels her lips. his hands cup her face, holding her impossibly close. he needs to be as close as he can and touch her as much as he can this way. he's hungry for her, the touch of her. she’s soft and perfectly fitted against him. her hands hold his arms, steading herself as he pushes himself closer and closer. this is by far the best kiss he’s ever shared with anyone, and all be damned if he didn’t get to do it again. 
“billy…” she moans against him. he stutters back, moving himself a step away, letting her go. they’re acting. she isn’t kissing tom, she’s kissing billy. “cut!”
the director makes a move over to them. “missed a few lines, tom, but that was great!” she goes on. tom’s only focused on yn. she’s not looking at him, she’s fidgeting with her skirt, glancing around the room and nodding along with the director. she’s nervous and undoubtedly startled. “alright, you two?” 
“sorry?” tom shakes himself out of it, looking to meet the director’s stare. 
“tom.” the director deadpans. “we’re going to do a quick take of you walking away after that kiss and we’ll move the conversation you two were supposed to have after the kiss to the next scene just before billy leaves.” 
“oh, okay.” 
“i know its a bit of a last minute change but so was that sudden kiss.” tom laughs with her, rubbing the back of his head. “right, sorry about that. i…forgot my lines and just went for it.” he excuses. 
“don’t be sorry. i think that really added to the passion of the scene. more meaning.” tom nods, smiling. “okay, lets do it people!” 
yn doesn’t look at him, avoiding his eyes. what has he done? 
...
“billy—”
“don’t. i know.” tom sighs. he glances around, gulping. “don’t matter, i’m leaving anyways. best i do.” yn nods. “i’m sorry, billy.” 
tom goes to mount his horse, the end scene of him riding off, but yn pulls him back. she kisses him. tom’s heart stops for a moment. her hands held his face this time, and he’d be dumb to not reach for her hips and kiss her back. she lets go all too soon, sighing, keeping her forehead pressed against his. “don’t forget me, billy.” 
“i couldn’t if i tried.” he sneaks a quick peck, satisfied as all can be, and mounts his horse. the stare he gives her before riding off, he’s sure she can see the desire he has for her. maybe he really had gone crazy, but he could swear something was saying the same thing in hers.
...
the scenes with yn had finally ended, they were at the end of their filming for the day. tom was watching as yn indulged in conversation with the director. he sighs. though he felt satisfied by the kisses they’d shared, he needed more and that only fueled him further. the idea of never kissing yn again was weighing on his shoulders like a boulder. it's just a pair of lips, tom thinks. that happens to belong to the most perfect person ever. he groans, leaning his head back to stare at the ceiling. “i’m going crazy.” 
“crazy in love, maybe.” tom sits up, shooting his eyes over to daniel. “what? no.” 
“it’s okay to admit you like someone, tom.” 
“not when they’re taken.” tom sighs, rubbing his temple, annoyed. none of this would be so bad, but yn just had to be in a relationship, a happy one at that. tom just had to fall for her and deal with it, pretending to love hearing her talk about him so lovingly and so sweetly. that scene, kissing her, was his little chance into what a world with her was like, and by golly, did he want more. there wasn’t quite anything like the feeling of her lips on his and her moaning into him as her hands squeezed his arms to steady herself.
“tom—”
‘it doesn’t matter, i’ll get over it. plus, she’s done with this show, so i won’t be seeing her.” not like she wanted to see him. she’d been avoiding him after finishing up. she didn’t join them for drinks and she didn’t look at tom once. 
he really had fucked things up.
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evanpeterswhoresblog · 3 months
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Cherry Bomb (pt. 3)
Remus Lupin x f!reader, James Potter x f!reader (mentioned), Sirius Black x f!reader (mentioned)
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warnings: smut, p in v, i think it’s protected atp idk, fingering, underage smoking, very dom remus, long af but omg i’m so in love with it
summary: the last part of your plan is far harder to achieve than the first two and it’s far more complicated.
word count: 5k
a/n: ahhh here’s the last part (i think?) anyway sorry it’s long i got carried away but ugh i love remus so much. sorry if my characterization is off, ever since atyd i see him as sarcastic. yeah i love this, hope you guys do too :)
~~~
Out of all the marauders, Remus Lupin was by far the most liked. He was quiet, but not invisible. He was the most sensible out of all the boys and the most polite. Though he did tend to be witty and sarcastic, he was kind at heart. But he was also the hardest one to get close to. Quiet, reserved, beautiful Remus with his nose always stuck in a book. There was always something about him that made girls fall fast. But that was the thing. It was always so easy to fall in love with him. So, if one ever wanted to shag Remus Lupin, they would have to deal with the consequences of loving him. Because he was nothing like his mates. He didn’t shag just anyone. No. He had to choose you. And to be chosen by him was the biggest accomplishment and the biggest curse. Because once you get him, you will never want to let him go.
~~~
Avoiding two of the marauders is nearly impossible. Each corner you turn it seems you run into one of them, or both. And each time their eyes find you they show the same expressions. Confusion. Frustration. Perhaps even a bit of sadness. You debate throwing away the entire plan daily. It’s unfair, the way you’re playing with their minds. But the lingering knowledge that you’re so close to completing the plan entirely keeps you going. Because surely, all your hurt feelings can’t be for nothing.
Right?
You speak to James only once after your shag in the broom closet. It’s a week or two after, he’s been chasing you around, and you’ve been avoiding him. But you decide he deserves some amount of closure. Sweet, lovely, innocent James. You find him alone in the library and take your opportunity. The way he smiles when he sees you approaching makes your heart ache terribly and regret fills your stomach.
“Y/n I’ve been trying to catch you, how are you?” He asks once you’re close enough to hear his quiet tone.
He looks so happy, you feel sick.
“Yeah, I just you know… haven’t been feeling too great,” you lie.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Sit if you’d like, I’ve been attempting to study for the potions test. Aren’t you good with potions? Could you help me possibly?”
You inhale deeply. You could really use a cigarette right now. You’ve broken things off with guys before, but this feels different. In the other cases, you’ve had reasons. For this case though, you have none. James is innocent in all of this. It makes you nauseous.
“Listen, James,” you start, your voice soft. “What happened was great, I enjoyed it a lot, but it was a mistake. I like you, you’re very sweet, but I don’t think we should do anything else.”
Watching his face fall is by far the most horrid sight you’ve ever seen. All the happiness fades fast and leaves behind a bitter frown. He looks down at his papers, toying with his quill.
“I see…” He looks back up, a fake smile on his lips. “That’s alright, it was fun. I’m not really looking for anything serious like that either, so I understand.”
You swallow hard. “I really do like you James, believe me, but it’s just not the right time for this.”
“Don’t worry about it, it’s fine.”
“And...” You pause for a second. “You won’t tell anyone?”
He nods. “Not a soul. This will be our little secret.”
“Thank you.”
“Of course.”
“Well then, I’ll let you get back to your potions. Thanks for... everything.” You give him one last smile before turning on your heels and making your way out of the library.
You almost put an end to it right then and there, but then you see the tallest marauder walking down the hall with Peter. His hands are in his pockets, his book bag slung over one of his shoulders. For a split second his eyes meet yours as the two of you pass each other.
He gives you a small awkward smile.
Fuck.
~~~
To catch Remus Lupin alone you must take the risk of losing your house some points. You wait a week before making your move, for safety. After your conversation with James, the only marauder to pay attention to you is Sirius. He’s still set on telling everyone that the two of you shagged, but thankfully, not many people believe him. Not even his best mates.
It’s a very quiet night when you sneak out after curfew. A night you know one particular prefect is doing rounds on his own. You wander through the castle quietly, making sure to avoid the areas in which teachers lurk. Goosebumps form on your skin, you should’ve worn more than a tee-shirt and sweatpants, but you needed to look casual.
As you’re about to turn a corner, you spot Filch. Panic surfaces inside you and you quickly turn around and run as quietly as you can down the hall. You take a few turns and just as you’re about to relax, you hear a voice.
“It’s past curfew, what are you doing out here?”
Your heart stops for a completely different reason.
It’s him.
You turn to face him and shyly smile. You watch his face change as he recognizes you.
“Oh, it’s you.” He narrows his eyes. “Off to shag my mate again, are you?”
“I never shagged him,” you reply, crossing your arms over your chest. “And I’m out for a completely different reason.”
“What reason is that?”
You shrug. “Personal reason.”
“Ah well, hope it was worth losing your dear Ravenclaws ten points. Get back to your dorm before someone else catches you,” he says, turning away from you.
You watch as he walks down the hall, not giving you another thought. You would’ve replied sarcastically if you could speak for that matter. Once he disappears, all you can do is shamefully make your way back to your house's common room, now understanding why James likes being a chaser.
~~~
Some time passes before you get Remus alone. Each time you see him during the day, he’s accompanied by one of the marauders and you can’t sneak out during his rounds again because your fellow Ravenclaws were not pleased. You’re smoking behind the castle when you happen to finally catch him walking alone. You immediately take your chance.
“Lupin!” You call out to him. You get up from the bench you were sitting on and walk to him.
Thankfully, he stops walking and turns back to face you. “Y/l/n. Is there something I can help you with?”
You can tell from the tone of his voice he’s trying to be polite; it makes your insides warm.
“Yeah, actually there is. I was wondering if you could help me with my transfiguration essay. You’re the smartest lad in the year,” you answer, taking a small puff of your cigarette. You hold it up to offer him a hit, he shakes his head.
“Those things will kill you,” he says. “But I suppose I can help a bit. I assume you’re free right now?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Let me take a look.”
A smirk forms on your lips, and you let out a breath of smoke purposely into his face. “Take a girl to dinner first.”
He swats the air, fanning away the smoke. “Are you going to show me or not? I have things to take care of.”
“Sorry.” You hate the way your face burns. “Come see.”
The two of you make your way to the bench and you take out your essay. Truthfully, you are already finished with it, and you think your work is good. But much to your dismay, only a few seconds after he starts reading it, Remus takes out a muggle pen and begins crossing things off.
“What’s wrong?”
“Your spelling is shit, and you’ve contradicted your argument at least twice already and I’m only on the second paragraph,” he answers, his eyes glued to the paper. “Maybe if you spent more time studying than shagging and smoking, you’d have this information down. We reviewed it a few weeks ago.”
You scoff. “I have not been shagging.”
“Sure,” he mumbles, crossing off another sentence.
“I swear, Sirius is mistaken.” You lie.
He turns his head, his green eyes meeting yours. “Who said I was referring to Sirius?”
Your breath catches in your throat, and you cough due to the smoke. Is he talking about James? Your heart rate increases, and anxiety flows throughout your body. Did James tell? You catch your breath, your eyes meeting his again. He looks unamused.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I haven’t shagged anyone in months, not that it’s your business,” you say.
“You should really practice more on your lying; you are shit at it.” He hands your essay back to you and stands. “I left a few notes of some things you should change, but my biggest suggestion is that you reread the textbook, and perhaps find some more... enticing quotes. Is that all then? Like I said, I’ve got some other business to tend to.”
For a few seconds, all you can do is stare up at him, your mouth hung open ever so slightly. You previously thought Remus Lupin to be a timid boy who went along with the rest of the marauders because he couldn’t say no. Now though, you realize all those assumptions are wrong. He’s quiet, but not timid.
“What do you know?” You question.
“Quite a lot, thanks for the chat.”
Before you can even think of a response, he’s already walking away. You can’t let him slip away again.
“I’ll get it out of you Remus Lupin if it’s the last thing I do!”
He turns his head over his shoulder and chuckles, the sound sending warmth straight to your core. “We’ll see.”
And just like that, he’s gone, and you’re left flustered with rosy cheeks.
You did save the best for last.
~~~
Falling for the third marauder is easier than anything. Almost unconsciously, you begin to fail classes so that he can help you with work, you learn his route around the castle to see him at least once a day, and you sneak around the castle some nights, but he always ends up finding you somehow.
One night, a little over a month after you’ve started your game, something unexpected happens. You’re out after curfew once again, tiptoeing around the castle to see where the tallest prefect is when he appears from behind you. Like usual, he crosses his arms and clears his throat, making you quickly spin on your heels to face him. How does he always sneak up on you?
“How many times am I going to catch you before you start following the rules? I’m sure your fellow Ravenclaws aren’t too pleased with you,” he says. You look up at him, a genuine blush on your face. He narrows his eyes. “You want me to catch you, don’t you?”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
You look away nervously. The plan never involved gaining real feelings for any of the marauders, yet here you were. Standing in your sleepwear after curfew with your heart racing in your chest at the mere sight of one of them. Though you try to deny it, you know deep down you’re crushing hard, and you know it will only end badly.
“I uh... I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m just on a little stroll back from a smoke that’s all,” you reply after a few seconds, your hands anxiously fiddling with one another.
He rolls his eyes. “Listen, I don’t know what your objective is or has been, but whatever it is it’s not going to happen.”
“Remus I-”
“Sirius, I understand, he would sleep with the giant squid if it had tits. But James, really? He may be more of an... active person than myself but he has far more feelings than you think.” He takes a step forward; he towers over you. You swear you can’t breathe. “You may have fooled them, but you don’t fool me. I can see right through you y/l/n and you’re sick.”
You move backward; he follows each step. “You... you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t I?”
Your back hits a wall, panic rises in you. Your eyes fall to his hands, and a bit of relief washes over you when you see he’s not holding his wand. But then another thought takes over. Is he going to hit you? When you look back up, he’s only inches away from you, his hazel eyes piercing down into yours. He places one of his hands on the wall next to your head. You can hear your heartbeat in your ears.
“I didn’t mean to cause any trouble, really. I’m sorry,” you mumble, your words genuine.
“So, what was your goal then? To shag all of us and take your pick of who’s best? Peter would’ve been far easier than James you know,” he replies.
“It was just a stupid idea, I don’t know. It didn’t mean anything deeper I swear.” You’re rambling now, the threat of tears evident in the burning of your eyes. You try your hardest to keep any from falling, you can’t cry in front of Remus.
He sighs. “You’re lucky Sirius is oblivious, and James is trusting. If they knew the truth, you’d have the whole school against you.”
“Wait, they don’t know?”
He rolls his eyes again. “Of course not. If they knew you’d be getting hexed almost all day every day.”
“Then how do you know?”
“I notice a lot more than people think. Did you honestly think no one saw you go up to our dorm with Sirius that night at the party? And did you honestly think none of us would notice James’s change in attitude? You think you know more than you actually do,” he explains.
For a few seconds, the two of you only stare at each other. You don’t know what to think. You should’ve known this would happen. Someone was going to catch on. You wish you had never done it. Any of it. Everything would be so much simpler if you’d simply stayed the quiet Ravenclaw girl who never interacted with the marauders. But you can’t go back, no matter how much you wish you could. You can only make it right moving forward.
“I’m sorry, truly Remus.” There’s so much more you want to say, but you can’t. You can’t fathom the words.
“If you’re truly sorry, stop. I won’t be the next pawn in your game,” he says, his voice slightly lower than before. You watch the way his eyes shift, the way he licks his lips, and moves his head down so he’s almost eye level with you. Your breath catches in your throat. “I suppose I pity you though because you and I both know this has become more than a game to you now.”
You turn your head, but he grabs your chin and forces you to look him in the eye.
“You fancy me.”
“I-”
“Don’t try to deny it. Like I said, I can see right through you.”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s over now,” you whisper, a tear nearly escaping one of your eyes.
He inhales deeply and you notice his eyes trail over your body for a moment before meeting your gaze again. “You’re right. It is over now.”
He lets go of you and backs away and for the first time since encountering him tonight, you feel like you can breathe normally. You stay on the wall, silently catching your breath as he walks further down the hall. But just before he’s about to turn a corner, he looks back at you.
“Or perhaps it’s simply my turn to play with you. Oh, and that’s twenty points from Ravenclaw. Goodnight.”
You fall asleep with his words burning in the back of your mind, and an ache between your thighs.
~~~
After that night, everything is different. You try to avoid them all and go back to the way things were before, you really do. You scribble out the page in your journal with their names, you keep your head down in the halls, and you skip the parties they host. It’s Remus who’s begun playing. Somehow, he continues knowing where you are and appears at random times. Whether you’re studying in the library, and he just so happens to need a book from that section, or you’re out by the lake with your friends and he walks by. You know it’s intentional, but it still manages to leave you hot and bothered each time.
“I thought you said the plan was off?” Your friend says one particular day when the two of you are eating lunch.
You look at her, confused. “It is.”
“Then why has Lupin been staring at you this whole meal?”
Instinctively, you look across the Great Hall and immediately catch those all-too-familiar hazel eyes. He doesn’t look away, at least, not for a moment. He stares at you with no shame, and even from the distance you can sense something different from the look in his eyes. Before you can fully figure it out though, he turns his attention back to the other three marauders.
“Did you shag him?” Your friend asks.
“No, I told you what happened,” you answer, focusing your attention back on the food on your plate. “I wish he’d stop.”
Your friend laughs. “Nah, you don’t.”
You hate how she’s right.
~~~
Nearly two months have passed when you finally confront Remus.
You’re sitting in the astronomy tower, a cigarette between your lips, and a scowl on your face. You can’t take it any longer. Wasn’t he the one who told you off? Wasn’t he the one who told you to stop the games? He was. You know it. So, why has he kept it going? He had said that it was his turn, but that was many weeks ago. How long did he plan to keep this going? You let out a cloud of smoke, frustration taking over your body at the thoughts.
“How many points shall I take off tonight? Forty? Fifty?” You feel him sit next to you, but you refuse to look at him. “You haven’t been out after dark in a while though, I’ll give you that.”
“What do you want Lupin?” You ask, annoyed.
He chuckles. “What do any of us want really?”
You look at him with a straight face, hating the way butterflies take over your stomach at the sight of him so close to you. Despite the scars on his face, you find him more beautiful than any boy. More than James, even more than Sirius. There is something so extraordinary about Remus you can’t explain. You wish it would go away.
“Why can’t you leave me alone?” You question after taking another drag from the cigarette.
“I haven’t spoken to you in over a month, I don’t know what-”
“Yes, you know what I mean.” You cut him off. You exhale your last breath of smoke and throw the cigarette off the tower. “I’m trying to leave this all in the past and move on like you said but you’ve made it quite difficult.”
“Seems you don’t like the taste of your medicine love. It’s hard, isn’t it? Trying to avoid someone when they always seem to end up exactly where you are. It gets rather annoying, doesn’t it? Especially when you secretly enjoy it,” he replies.
Your eyes meet again and that familiar trouble to breathe begins. He’s looking at you in a way you don’t know how to feel about. It’s not like Sirius’s drunken stare or James’s needy stare. No. This one, though the same lustful, is far deeper.
“Just tell me what you want Remus,” you eventually say, your voice lower than before. “What do you want?”
“I want you to get out of my head. I want to look at you and feel nothing. I want everything to go back to how it was before you decided to fuck with my friends and me,” he answers.
You swear your heart stops for a few beats. “Then let all of that happen.”
“You think I haven’t tried?”
You stay silent.
“I never wanted this, any of it.”
You look down. “I know.”
“Don’t do that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Merlin, I give up, you win y/n. You bloody win.”
You’re about to ask what he exactly means, but he acts faster. In the blink of an eye, his lips are on yours. You can’t grasp it at first. You’re kissing Remus Lupin; Remus Lupin is kissing you. The boy who unintentionally caught your heart is kissing you. It’s unbelievable, it’s undeniable, and it’s far from underrated. You don’t hesitate to kiss him back, even through your initial shock.
His hands cup your cheeks, his thumbs stroke your skin ever so gently. You wrap your arms around his neck, one of your hands toying with the hair on the back of his head. He’s a good kisser, very good. That’s why when he parts your lips, you protest.
“Why did you-”
“If we’re going to do this, you have to promise me it’s not a game anymore y/n.”
Your head is fuzzy from how intently he’s looking at you. “I promise Remus, that game has been over for a while.”
“You swear it?”
“I do. Do you?”
“Of course.” There are a few seconds of silence before he sighs, one of his fingers now playing with a piece of your hair. “We have to keep it secret.”
“I know,” you say.
He brushes the piece of hair behind your ear, the intimate gesture sending tingles throughout your body. “I don’t want it to be a quick shag either,” he adds.
“What do you want it to be then?”
The smile he gives you makes your stomach flip. “More.”
~~~
More from Remus Lupin is everything.
After that night, the two of you begin something you don’t exactly know how to name. You would call it a secret relationship, but the thought of that gives you a stomachache. The two of you don’t interact during the day, at least not where anyone else can see. He passes you in the hall as if you’re a stranger, but the second he catches you around a corner in an empty hallway he showers you with affection. And at night when the two of you sneak off, he touches you in ways you never thought possible.
He shows you so many new places in the castle you never knew of. Secret passages, secret rooms, all of it. You never question how he knows all of it, you only hold his hand tighter as he guides you. When he suggests a more secluded place to meet, you of course agree. Though, you never expect that place to be the shrieking shack.
“There’s no way you’re serious,” you say. The two of you are outside, near the Whomping Willow. You make sure to stay out of its reach. “The shrieking shack? That place is haunted, the ghosts don’t even go there because of how scary it is.”
“Obviously I’m not Sirius love, you only shagged him once,” he sarcastically replies, rolling his eyes to emphasize his joke.
“Remus.”
“The shrieking shack is not haunted, believe me, that’s only a silly rumor made so that people won’t go to it. Me, James, Sirius, and Peter go all the time. It has a bed, and given our activities I say we utilize that,” he explains.
You bite your lip. “Are you positive?”
He moves a bit closer to you and places a hand on your shoulder, leaning down so he’s at eye level with you. “You know I would never let anything hurt you, you can trust me.”
“Alright, but how are we supposed to get there so late? It’s in Hogsmeade,” you question.
He chuckles. “Haven’t you learned by now the marauders have many secret ways?”
“Yes, but we’re not in the castle right now how are we to- Remus don’t go any closer you’re going to get hurt you-” You pause, your mouth hung open as you watch the whomping willow go completely still. “How did you...”
“Secrets love, now come, it’s getting late,” he says, holding a hand out to you.
You don’t hesitate to take his hand and follow him into the tree, nothing else is said.
Surprisingly, the walk isn’t too long. It’s dark, gloomy, and a bit cold, but it’s not terrible. At the end of the tunnel, there’s a door. Something in Remus’s posture shifts, almost as if he’s anxious. You squeeze his hand to try to reassure him of whatever he needs, he gives you a smile through the dark that makes your cheeks warm.
The shrieking shack isn’t big, not at all. It’s a simple building with a few rooms and a short staircase. Remus brings the two of you to what you presume is the bedroom though the only indicator is a mattress, blanket, and pillow on the floor. There’s a small fireplace in the room as well, shockingly full of wood and some candles placed near the mattress. The entire shack is creaky and dusty, but you don’t mind. As long as there’s no ghosts, it’s perfect. Remus lets go of your hand and moves to start a fire. You sit down on the mattress and light the candles around.
“What do you guys use this place for?” You ask.
“It’s just a place we come to sometimes when we don’t want to be around other people,” he answers. His back is still turned to you, you could stare at it all day. “Sirius was the first one to discover it wasn’t haunted.”
“Oh? How did he find that out?”
“He’s always been the bravest out of us, though I think he just wanted another rule to break.”
You chuckle. “That sounds like him.”
He finally stands and turns to face you, a bright fire burning behind him. “You would know, you shagged him.”
“Oh, shut up,” you say as you slide off your shoes.
He begins to walk to you. “Can I ask you a question?”
“This context doesn’t seem good, but yes you can,” you reply.
“Be completely honest, out of the three of us, who’s the best?”
He’s standing right in front of you now. You look up at him, a coy smile on your lips, and begin to untie his shoelaces. “You are of course.”
“For some reason, I think your answer is biased,” he says with a laugh.
You trail your hands up his legs after he steps out of his sneakers, stopping once you reach his belt buckle. It quickly gets undone. “What would make you say that?”
He laughs again. “Just a hunch I guess.”
Your moment of control is taken fast when he pushes you down on the mattress, his lips attacking yours. It isn’t a lie though; he is the best. Unlike with Sirius and James, you share such deeper feelings for Remus. Each time he touches you, you practically melt into the palm of his hand. He’s caring. He’s gentle, but rough when need be. Though the two of you argue sometimes, it always is resolved with a hug, a kiss, or a shag. So, in the simplest of words, Remus Lupin is the perfect boy in every way.
All your clothes are discarded quickly, his too. He kisses you deeply as he uses his fingers on you. Sometimes you wonder where he’s learned all his skills from, but even thinking about him with another girl has started to make your stomach hurt. Instead, you focus on how good two of his fingers feel inside you. They’re so long, so slender. More than once in class you’ve been completely distracted by the sight of his hands, specifically his fingers, even more specifically when he’s wearing rings on them. They feel just as you imagine, extraordinary.
When you cum, you’re moaning a mess into his mouth, your body shaking. He milks every last bit of your orgasm out of you before stopping. You watch through heavy lids as he sucks his fingers clean of your cum, the sight makes you audibly groan.
“I need you,” you whisper, running one of your hands through his hair.
“Do you?” There’s something in the tone of his voice mixed with the way he’s looking at you that makes your heart ache in your chest.
You nod. “In so many ways Rem.”
“Promise?”
“Always.”
He moves inside you slowly at first, but he finds a decent pace after a few minutes. Because of his height, you weren’t at all surprised at the size of his cock. It’s by far the biggest you’ve ever encountered and the best. Though sometimes it leaves you sore, it always leaves you in a daze of dopamine.
Remus struggles to keep his head at your level as he fucks you. He presses soft kisses to your forehead, one of his hands intertwined with yours. You’ve never felt such intimacy in your life, it almost makes tears form in your eyes.
“Tell me you’re mine,” he says, his voice shaky. “Even if it’s not true.”
“I’m yours, Rem, completely,” you reply. His hips meet yours harder, and you moan. “All yours I’m all yours.”
Neither of you lasts much longer than that.
In the aftermath as the two of you hold each other, he rests his head on your chest. You run your fingers through his hair softly, the sound of his breathing like music to your ears. It’s at this moment you realize just how deeply you care for him. You hate what you did with that silly plan, but you don’t think you’d change it. If ending up in this moment only came from the plan, you’d do it over a million times.
“Is this real?” Remus asks after some time.
You sigh and press a kiss to the top of his head. “Yes. This is real.”
And so, it is.
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utterlyazriel · 3 months
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whom the shadows sing for —(and the thief's echoing hymn)
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a/n: eek not a request but an idea that wouldn't leave me alone! thus... we embark on a mulan-esque story that i hope u will enjoy <3 big thank you's to @strangerstilinski who listened and helped immensely as i whittled a hunky idea down to a plot
word count: 2.9k
synopsis: Someone in the Illryians Mountains has been making a name for themselves— a bastard like Azriel and his brothers, ruffling the feathers of a war camp's Lords. But they seem to have no loyalty to the fighting legion, or much to anyone for that matter. fem!reader
— CHAPTER ONE :: STRANGERS
Frost was everywhere.
Despite all the eerie memories that tainted them, the Illyrian Mountains were hauntingly beautiful, even Azriel could admit that.
Pine trees stretched up tall, their timber trunks hidden beneath the snow-leaden branches. It was a sea of swirling frost. Snowflakes eddied down from the frozen sky, a soft blanket of white draped across the landscape.
He was sure that some, maybe the likes of Feyre and her artist's eye, could see that beauty easier than he could.
Beautiful, Azriel thought bitterly, but fucking freezing.
Normally, dealing with the likes of the war camps that riddled these mountains was left to Cassian. He had that raucous, fiery way about him that was far better suited to it. Enough pride to challenge the warriors and more than enough eager attitude to back his taunts if need be.
But Cassian was currently very much occupied— and highly unsuited to crack the whip against some rowdy Illyrians in his current state.
Azriel couldn't help the smile at the thought of when he'd last seen his brother.
Freshly mated Cassian looked as though he had tiny hearts circling around his head at all times. He resembled a puppy following his nose, always that wicked grin on his face as he trailed after Nesta. His adoration was impossible to miss.
Cassian had more than earned the time off. He deserved to celebrate properly, to have a couple weeks with no badgering worries, with no bickering Illyrian warriors to deal with (beyond his usual two).
So, as a mating gift to his brother —and partially to escape a house filled with intolerably mated couples— Azriel had taken over his duty temporarily. To oversee the war camps he detested so much.
Today, he was to investigate the rumoured stirrings amongst the camps and assess the level of threat it posed. More often than not, these sorts of stirrings were simply whispers of rebellion but nothing more.
There was an easy fix; a visit from one of the most powerful Illyrian warriors in history, or even from Rhys himself. It always made the Illyrians a little nervous and those whispers of a coup would sweep away with the wind in a matter of time.
This time, however, the network of spies that operated under Azriel had not come back spinning such rumours.
Instead, there was talk of Lords with ruffled feathers. Lords with bruised egos due to a single bastard warrior, rising in the ranks and not playing by the rules.
The familiarity of the situation was almost too ironic, Azriel thought. He had half a mind to tell Rhys what he had learned and leave them to it. Cauldron knew these brutal camps needed a bastard to challenge their ways from time to time.
But still, there was always the potential for such a warrior to pose a threat in the future. Azriel could not leave a possible danger to brew. No stone left unturned.
The snow beneath his boots was beginning to melt.
He had been standing in the cold and peering up at the war camp ahead, barely seen through the heavy snow falling, for too long now. Snow was gathering on his wings, tendrils of ice shooting through their sensitive membrane. Find the bastard.
Shaking off the snow, he began to walk.
Gods forsaken males and their egos.
The bone in your forearm ached, having taken the brunt of your initial fall in the mud. It's covered in it too, the muck of the ground that always seemed to linger. Always a layer of dirt beneath your fingernails. Truly, one of the many incredible appeals of the Illyrian mountains was never actually being clean.
You'd probably hate it more— if it didn't do such a good job of masking unwanted scents.
But right now with a jagged cut that tears up your left arm, all the way to the elbow, you're cursing the mud. It's likely festering with uncountable grim diseases. You'll have to flush the wound to properly clean it before it begins to heal.
That means water. That means energy that you don't particularly feel like summoning to fetch it. You cast your glance to the window.
Outside, the Mother's Kiss howls loudly.
The southerly chilled wind current that Illyrians don such a precious name is quite fitting for their backward ways — to expect a kiss from your mother to have such a sting on the face.
Tonight, the current seems particularly fierce. The windows of your shelter rattle in warning. A storm had blown through camp rather unexpectedly and you'd caught the worst of it, tangled up in a snarling fest against Brudam.
Brudam, who is responsible for the current state of your arm. Your lip curls at the mere thought of the arrogant male. Your wings bunch up tightly and you huff quietly to nobody.
He'd caught wind of the broth you had made that had filled the stomach of three ravenous bastards in the camp. It had been just enough to keep them on their feet. Tonight, you know that one hot meal might very well be the difference that helps them survive the night.
But Illyrians are a tough breed— and they don't take kindly to people giving handouts, as Brudam had put it.
You preferred the term leveling the playing field.
As if Brudam and his Lord father had ever experienced to ache of starvation. Ever had to sleep in the snow with nothing but their own wings for warmth against a blizzard.
Another deep pain twinges in your arm and you hiss, drawn out of your thoughts. If you have to pick your wins, you can at least admit you're glad he had only found out about the broth— and had seemed none the wiser to the healing tonics you were slipping the freshly-clipped girls.
It ached to see them and their quivering wings. The way the muscles in their backs buckled when they tried to spread their wings, a cut too deep into the wrong nerve. It ached to see it, yes, but beneath that pain was an ocean of bitter and furious fire.
But your righteous anger would not help these girls.
You were not the most proficient healer and the tonics you were attempting... it was hard to say if they would make any difference in saving any females' wings.
You were gathering knowledge as best you could though, scraping together herbs that scarcely grew in the frozen climate. It was a poor imitation of something that might work.
Whether it would be enough... that was up to the Mother. But you had to try.
You assess the wound on your arm once more, wondering about the reserve of water you had in your small hut— whether you could both clean your wound and have enough to hydrate.
Another glance out at the wintry snowscape outside. You grimaced. If you didn't, you would have to bear the blistering chill of the Mother's Kiss to get more.
Weariness weighs on your bones. You hadn't been prepared for the fight, hence your almost embarrassing injury, and it drained you more than you expected.
You stand with a sigh and drag your feet toward the tiny cauldron filled with melted snow collected earlier in the day. It hangs over the fireplace, the embers within long since snuffed out. Your motion stirs them up.
For a moment, you stare into the fireplace. The water in the cauldron shimmers. The shelter creaks around you, bending in the wind.
It's covered in soot, marred by the flames that usually lick it from beneath it. The lip of it, however, is still clean enough to see your own reflection. You peer into it.
And in that reflection, you find a tall figure with massive wings looming above their shoulders standing behind you.
Your heart spasms in shock and you have to swallow your gasp of surprise. Your eyes dart up, frantically hunting for a weapon. You grab the closest object you can, your hand closing around a kitchen fork. And before they get the chance, you twist and lunge, arm raised.
The floorboards groan as your boots slam into them, darting forward to attack. But the male dodges you easily, your strike passing through empty air.
You don't stop, turning and striking for him once again. The male sways back again easily to avoid your swing and you scowl.
Quickly feigning one way, you watch as his hands, weaponless, move to defend his gut — and you change direction, fast. Neck exposed, you snarl as you sink the fork deep into his shoulder.
The male hisses in pain.
You falter for a moment at the noise but it's a mistake. His hands move so fast you barely see them, gripping your wrist that holds the fork and twisting it down to the ground, immobilising you from using it.
You snarl again and tug against him fruitlessly. A swell of panic begins to rise within you as you tug again, again, again. His hold doesn't falter.
"Stop," The male commands you quietly.
This time when you tug, he opens his fingers and you fly back onto your ass, wings flaring out a moment too late to catch yourself.
You expect him to trudge forward, to beat an attack down on you now that you're less defended, but he doesn't move from his spot.
In fact, you realise as you stare at him, cheat heaving, he hasn't attacked you at all.
His weapons, which there are many of them, stay strapped to his side, glittering against the snow's reflected light. You spot the siphon on his hand, a churning sapphire colour — and clock the matching one on his other hand.
This was not just any Illyrian warrior in your home.
Faintly, your panic subsides as you realise that if this male meant to hurt you —to kill you— he very well could have done so by now.
You let your eyes trail up, taking in the face so hidden in shadow, and recognize that the darkness swirling around him is not ordinary shadow.
The revelation has you sitting up a bit straighter, the bindings around your chest pulling tight. You swallow, your throat suddenly dry.
What do you say to one of the most powerful Illyrian warriors in history —one who served on Rhysand's inner circle, friend of the High Lord of the Night Court— when you've just stabbed him with a fork?
As if your thought had reminded him, the male —Azriel, you know his name to be— shifts and reaches for the utensil still sticking out of his shoulder. He yanks it out without a noise of complaint.
Then he says, "Considering your choice of weapon, it's no surprise Brudam cut up your arm."
You scowl at him but at a closer look, you can see that his expression isn't condescending. No, with his raised brows, he almost looks... impressed.
"I wasn't expecting visitors." You bite back defensively.
Azriel's eyes dance with amusement. He throws the fork onto your table with a clatter. "That's how you greet visitors?"
"Uninvited ones, yes."
His amusement fades, the planes of his face shadowed and yet still handsome. Like most Illyrians, there's this incomprehensible sense of elegance to him, an alluring pull tied to his very demeanor.
But looking at him now, even in the dimness of your shelter, you could see Azriel went beyond to type of beauty that usual Illyrians had. An unparalleled grace, an unmatched Adonis.
He is the most beautiful male you had ever seen—and you had just stabbed him with a fork.
"Sorry," You mutter eventually when he doesn't say anything.
You shift onto your knees to stand, your hand coming to cup beneath your elbow— the ache of the injury had begun to bleed back in now that you weren't focused on fighting off an intruder.
"You're forgiven." He says. You can see lightly, through the dimming light, the faint blood on his neck you've caused.
"You fight well," He comments, with the air of a compliment. Something like amusement is in his eyes when he says, "Even with your unusual choice of weapon."
You glare at him as you climb to your feet and all but collapse into a chair. You don't even have another to offer to him. Buried beneath your leathers, your chest aches in pain — a reminder that it's been bound for far too long. You ignore it and tilt your chin towards him.
"Why are you here?"
You're actually sure that even if you offered Azriel a chair he wouldn't take it, given how stiffly he stands before you. He takes a moment to answer, his gaze flitting around the small room you both stand in. Calculating, categorizing.
"There were rumours of a warrior turning up trouble here."
He fixes his hazel-eyed gaze on you. You steel yourself beneath it. "A couple days in your camp and it became clear who the outlier was."
A couple days? For some reason, you can't believe that he's been surveying this place without detection from anyone. Another glance at his shadows, the dark masses that hang around his shoulders, and you can believe it a little more.
Besides, it's hardly as though the Lords would deign to tell a bastard like you anything important.
You clench your jaw but don't say anything.
"Brudam mentioned you feeding some warriors." Azriel continues, his tone unreadable. Though something, you couldn't tell what, glittered in his eyes. "Not very in the spirit of Illyrians."
You scowl at him again. Even if he had once faced these conditions before, you wondered if his time away, spent Cauldron knows where, had softened his memory.
"It's not against any law."
"No, it isn't," Azriel says. His eyes narrow. "But making healing tonics without a Healer's jurisdiction and selling them to young females is."
Your heart stops for just a moment. How could he know that? The last batch you had dropped off had been over a month ago.
Without thinking you snarl back, "I'm not selling them, you prick."
Something blooms on Azriel's face, surprise and a hint of smugness.
Your mouth snaps shut as you realise what you've done. You curse yourself. Slumping back in your chair, your wings sag with you and you let them droop onto the floor, uncaring. He could very well be here to kill you, given the knowledge of what you had just admitted.
For a long moment, there's just silence.
You stare at the floor and wonder which version of the High Lord is true; the Court of Nightmares whose power ripples through these camps and keeps them in line. Or the rumours of a softer side, a dreamer.
You wonder, more importantly, which of those this male before you is friends with.
Something in the floor creaks when Azriel finally moves. He crosses the room swiftly to the fireplace and gathers two logs from the stack of firewood beside it, tossing them onto the pile of ash.
You watch, perturbed, as he hunches over the fireplace for a quiet minute— and when he pulls back, a small flame is burning on the wood. It dances on the log, entrancing and amber-coloured.
Heat begins to fill the room. You pick your wings up and stretch them towards it, grateful for how they begin to warm. You hadn't quite realised the extent of your chill until right now.
It's such a kindness that hasn't been shown to you in many years. Surprise and silent gratitude bloom in your chest.
Azriel turns back to face you. You school your surprise away.
"What's your name?" He asks, his voice gruff.
It's been a while since anyone asked that either. Bastard. Mongrel. Imposter. There are a thousand other words that have become your name whilst growing up here.
You can't tell him your name. In the same way you can't tell anyone here your real name without revealing too much about yourself.
So you shorten it and tell him that instead.
Azriel nods. Doesn't repeat it, doesn't blink at your hesitance. Instead, he just says, "Like I said, you fight well. You could be better though."
You frown at the backhanded compliment, something in you sneering at the jab at your fighting skills. Worse, you know he's right.
If you had weapons suited to your size, exercises that focused on your agility more than your brute strength... There's a good reason you have to work twice as hard as every other warrior in camp.
Azriel looks at your arm, no longer bleeding and beginning to stitch itself up. Shit, you really need to clean that first.
"Clean that and get a good night's rest." He orders, not meanly. Then he crosses the space of your shelter in a few paces of his long legs, heading for the door.
"You—" The question dares to come out of you. "You're not going to turn me in?"
Azriel pauses, one hand, one scarred hand you can now see with the fire going, on the door. So, the rumours of that were true.
"No," He says lowly. He sees you staring, and as if on command, the shadows swirling around his shoulders dart down to cover his hands. They and the doorknob in his hand disappear from sight completely.
You evade your eyes back up to his hauntingly beautiful face. His expression is stony, unreadable. He stares at you for a long moment, the dancing fire reflected in his hazel eyes.
"I'm going to train you."
[next part]
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melobin · 3 months
Note
first of all congratulations on hitting 2k !! i’ve never met anyone more deserving <3 love you lots 🫶🏼 can i rq “i missed you” with roommate jungwon please 🫧🪼
i love you forever !!!
જ⁀➴ roommate!jungwon x female reader
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cw. smut, unprotected sex, clothed sex, no real power play involved, jungwon cums inside of the reader. wc. 2k
17. "i missed you"
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the air that surrounded you and jungwon felt tense, you hated it. if there was one thing you always enjoyed, it was your positive relationship with your roommate, but the two of you seemed to throw that down the drain a month ago when you found yourself laying under him in his bed. nails raking down his back as he fucked your senses away.
both of you tried your hardest to avoid bumping into the other, both too afraid to have the conversation or even acknowledge what happened that night. at first jungwon was hurt when he realised you were avoiding him, but he soon realised it was for the best and found himself doing the same back to you.
it was inevitable that your avoidance would be forced to end at some point, it was impossible to avoid someone you lived with for that long. most of your encounters had one of you coughing and looking away whilst the other quickly done whatever it was they needed to do before leaving the room.
the tension between the two of you didn't go unnoticed by friends who visited, you often found yourself being questioned by your friends to why it felt so tense when jungwon entered the room you were in, you'd play it off, trying to convince them they're making things up but you knew the truth.
yet, avoidance or not, you both found yourselves stealing glances at one another when you thought the other wasn't looking. even if you weren’t looking, you could still feel his eyes on you, every second that he was in your vicinity you found yourself craving the feeling of his eyes on you. the way jungwon looked at you made your skin crawl, goosebumps trailing from your wrist to your shoulder. you wanted nothing more than for him to touch you again, take you the same way he did that night, but you worried things were too far gone between the two of you now. 
so as you sat beside him on a friday evening, you tried to suppress your thoughts. usually the two of you would try and have a movie night on friday nights, just something small to relax after a hectic week, having food laid out and whatever movie you could find on netflix playing on the tv. the last time the two of you had a movie night was a month ago, consequently it was the same night the two of you ended up in bed together. it didn’t help to quiet down the thoughts that were in your head as you remembered the way his fingers trailed along your skin on the very couch you were sat on, how his lips gently pressed against your neck as he told you how bad he wanted to fuck you.
you couldn’t help but wonder if he still wanted to, if his true motives for asking you to join him for a movie night was so he could fuck you again. truth be told, you wouldn’t be against it, in fact you’d be all for it. you wanted him, bad. you knew you weren’t going to focus on whatever film he decided to pick, so you let your eyes wander over to jungwon, only to find him already looking at you.
“you okay?” he let his head lean to the left a little as he asked.
“i’m okay”
“you sure? you seem distracted” you gave him a small smile, this was the most engaging conversation the two of you had had in weeks.
“just thinking”
“what about?”
“does it matter?” he narrowed his eyes at your question, an almost small, playful smile tugging at his lips.
“yes” he moved closer to you, thigh pressing against yours “talk to me” you sighed and looked down at where his sweats touched your skin, maybe wearing shorts wasn’t your best idea.
“it’s nothing important”
“will you tell me if i guess?” you watched him carefully as he spoke, only lightly nodding your head at his question “you’re thinking about what happened last time we ended up like this” jungwon leaned closer to you, lips barely touching the skin of your neck “because i am”
you almost folded right away, almost leant completely into his touch and let him have his way with you all over again. almost. you were going to let him have you, but you didn’t want to make it that easy for him.
“avoided me for a month just to try and fuck me again?” he laughed against your neck, lips parting as he pressed open mouthed kisses to your skin.
“you avoided me, i was just giving you space” you let out a shaky breath, finding yourself sinking backwards in the sofa as he nipped at your skin “i’ve spent the past month thinking about how pretty you sounded under me, i needed to be close to you again” you’d never heard jungwon sound so desperate for something before, the last few words he spoke came out as a whine almost. there was no way you were going to be able to keep your guard up. 
“jungwon” your voice was quiet, your fingers found themself in his hair.
“shh” he paused for a second, fingers finding place on the skin of your thigh below your shorts “you don’t know how bad i just want to press you down and fuck you every time you say my name” you were speechless at his words, his teeth dug a little deeper into your neck, you knew there’d be a bruise there tomorrow.
“so do it” it was all he needed, you caved quicker than you wanted to but you couldn’t help it, nothing felt better than the way he lifted his head from your neck and kissed you. the kiss was full of tongue, saliva and desperation. he pushed you further down against the sofa, your head resting against the arm of it. 
the kiss didn’t break as his fingers trailed along the skin of your thighs, he groaned once he settled himself between your legs, cock hanging lose in his sweats, pressing against your covered cunt. he ground himself down against you, hands finding place on your hips as your legs wrapped around his waist. both of you found yourselves wanting to be as close as possible to the other, any space was too much space. if you could crawl into his skin and live in there, at this point you would. his fingers snuck under the fabric of your shirt, digging into your skin as he ground himself down against you. he broke the kiss, letting his lips pretty open mouthed kisses along your skin, his mouth felt hot against you.
“need you” he panted just below your ear, there was a slight whiny tone to his voice as he spoke “need you so bad. been too long” 
“take me wonnie, please” he groaned, nails pressing into your skin. neither of you had the patience to get undressed, instead he found himself shoving down his sweats until his cock was out, fingers pushing aside the material of your shorts so he could press himself against you. 
jungwon felt painfully hard, he’d spent the first twenty minutes of the movie working himself up, thinking about you. there had been countless nights in the past few weeks where jungwon found himself wide awake late at night, laying in his bed with his hand closed around his cock, pumping it as he desperately tried to mimic the way your warm cunt felt around him. nothing compared to how you felt, nothing compared to you. you brought jungwon a feeling he had never felt with anyone else and he wanted more.
and now he was finally getting more. he felt his head spin when he pressed the tip of his cock against your clit, dragging it down to your sopping hole. you were so inviting, it felt almost as if you were sucking him inside of you. the head of his cock broke into you, pushing into your warmth slowly. jungwon paced himself, fearing that if he moved too quickly he’d spill himself inside of you right away. he didn’t want that, he wanted to savour the feeling of you, wanted to keep you wrapped around him for as long as possible, not being sure when he’d finally get you to himself again.
jungwon moaned when he pressed the rest of himself inside of you, cock twitching as your walls tightened around him. he lifted his head from your neck to look at you, eyes shaking as he watched the way your lips parted and you whimpered at the intrusion of his cock. your arm wrapped around his shoulder, gripping his shirt as your other hand went to his hair. 
“god” he groaned as you pulled on his hair “i missed you” at his words, you pulled him down to kiss you, moving your own hips up in order to get him to move. you couldn’t stand him being inside of you without fucking you into the sofa beneath you, too desperate to feel him come undone inside of you again.
“wonnie” your voice broke against his lips, tone filled with a whined as he rolled his hips against yours, cock leaving you just to enter you again. he filled you up so well, thick cock stretching you out, leaving you aching to feel him fill you up all over again each time he pulled out.
you tried to keep the kiss going but it felt impossible, as his pace increased, so did the frequency of your moans. it wasn’t long before jungwon found himself burying his head in your neck, whining against the flesh as he fucked you. each time he withdrew his cock from you and pushed it back it he felt the lace of your panties drag against the side of his cock, it only made things more intense for him. jungwon was absolutely not going to last, especially not when he heard you say his name.
“jungwon” his name left you in a whine “fill me up, please” it was all he really needed to hear. jungwon found himself kneeling up between your legs, holding your thighs apart as he fucked you harder. hair falling over his eyes and bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he let his eyes focus on the way your cunt swallowed his cock. you left him glistening in your slick with each thrust, a gentle but filthy sound came from where the two of you were connecting. he wanted to fill you with him cum so bad, claim you as he fucked you. 
he dropped one hand to your clit, thumb pressing against the drenched, swollen bud as he fucked you closer to your orgasm. he didn’t want to finish first but he knew he was going to. with that way you were clamping around his cock and moaning so sweetly for him, he knew he was done for. he was too drained to hold it back, he needed you to feel what you done to him, needed you to feel his cum spill deep inside of you.
jungwon let out one of the prettiest moans you had ever heard when he came, hips still moving against yours, thumb still rubbing careless circles against your clit as he tried to drive you towards your own orgasm. your name fell from him as he released inside of you, the overstimulation only causing him to whine after.
“cum around my cock” he let his eyes flick to your face. your eyes were closed, lips swollen and parted, he was sure you had never looked so pretty “come on baby” you let out a noise that fell somewhere between the line of a moan and a whine as you felt your orgasm hit you, body shaking as you gripped the seat of the sofa under you, probably leaving deep scratch marks behind.
“jungwon, jungw-oh my god” was all that left you, your voice breaking as he fucked you through your orgasm, hips finally stilling once he was sure you were finished. your eyes struggled to adjust to the light in the room when you opened them, yet you still found jungwon looking down at you, cock still resting inside of you. he leaned over you, hands pressing against the sofa either side of your head before leaning down to kiss you softly.
“you’re not going to avoid me this time, right?” you shook your head “good, we should do this more often”.
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zombiecheri · 5 months
Text
A Girl And A Samurai
Pairing: Mizu x Fem!reader
Tags: mizu kills a man, you get to know her. there's nothing more in first chapter at least
A/N: haven't written anything in ages so excuse me if there are some errors. had to get this out of my system. next chapter will be more spicy!
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Chapter 1
"you drown not by falling into a river, but by staying submerged in it" - Paulo Coelho
It wasn't supposed to happen like that. The man, your father entrusted to accompany you back to the village, simply haven't showed up and you sat in the small inn pondering what to do next. It was foolish to even consider going back alone. With autumn season nearing it's end, cold winter air was creeping from the north rattling against the old wooden walls of the inn. Not to talk about groups of men wandering around and waiting for an opportunity to rob, rape and kill women on the road.
road, which would take at least a week.
you were brave and reckless but far from stupid, you wouldn't even last 3 days on the road. but you had to.
had to
With winter nearing, you couldn't get stuck in an inn where you hardly knew anyone with no food and barely any money left. Waiting for your family to send another person to accompany you back would also take too long. It seemed like an impossible situation and you were about to start panicking until a solution presented itself.
Big hat. That was the first thing you noticed about the stranger. Then you saw a scabbard that glistened in the morning light and the weird tinted glasses that hid their stare. Accidentally overhearing the conversation between him and the innkeeper got your hopes back up. Coincidentally strange samurai also happened to be headed to your village. It seemed that you haven't run out of luck completely. Convincing the samurai to let you accompany him to the village took a lot of effort and begging on your part but the very next day you both were headed to your home, walking out from an old inn into the road surrounded by fallen leaves.
The air was crisp and fresh brushing against your skin and twirling colourful leaves around you. Samurai was quiet but you didn't mind the silence that much. You noticed even back in the inn that he didn't like to waste time on small talk so you silently followed him on the road enjoying the scenery around you.
The first night you spent out in the woods surrounded by trees looming around you, the temperature dropping significantly but thankfully samurai made a fire so the cold late autumn weather didn't bother you much. Both of you ate quietly and you settled to sleep near fire while samurai took watch. The fire cast shadows that swirled with each flicker. It was hard to fall asleep when you could feel his gaze on the back of your head and the anxiousness seeped into your skin sending warn signals to your mind about the whole situation. You barely knew the stranger and while he agreed to let you tag along with him, you were too quick to trust him. Who knew what he'd do? You two were completely alone in woods. Even if you wanted you couldn't shout for help because there wasn't a soul who could hear you.
It seemed that while your mind was racing, your body was having other problems and soon exhaustion took over making you fall into a troubled slumber. It didn't last long. You awoke with a jolt, clutching your hand against your chest, nightmare slowly fading away as you took in your surroundings eyes searching for a tall form of a samurai except he was nowhere to be seen. Panic seeped into your skin and settled heavily in your stomach. You glanced around frantically searching for him, the fire long gone, late autumn chill creeping up and leaving goosebumps on your skin.
He left you. That was your first thought and in the blind panic you stood up, walking in a random direction hoping to catch up to him. You wouldn't survive alone in woods. At least it seemed that your belongings were not touched at all but what good it would do if you ended up dying anyways?
You walked around blindly for a while until you heard a strange sound and slowly, with careful steps went to the direction where you heard it from, light coming down from above helping you lead the way. It appeared there was a small river deep into the woods, you could hear the sound of water rushing down disappearing in the darkness down the way where faint light from the moon couldn't reach it. That's when you noticed the samurai. It appeared that your panic was short-lived and suddenly you felt foolish. He didn't abandon you, he just simply cleaned himself in the water while you were sleeping. He was dressing up when your eyes zeroed in on his chest. Rather, on a strange fabric covering the area. bindings? why would a man need bindings around his chest you wondered before realization hit you and you let out a quiet gasp, taking slow steps backwards.
He, or rather, she was on you before you even managed to blink. The tip of the sword brushed against your neck and you finally let out a loud gasp falling on the cold ground scrambling on your feet to get away from the samurai. She pulled her sword away, grabbing your kimono and bringing her face closer until you could feel her cold breath against your skin. Eyes, icy like the river, bore into you seemingly trying to pierce you with the gaze alone and all you could do was stare back at her gaping like a fish out of water.
If looks could kill
Another shiver took a hold of your body and then you heard it, her voice, almost as cold and deadly as her eyes, whispering against your ear,
"If you tell anyone about this I will kill you"
And brave and reckless you were, but mindless you were not for you believed her every word and managed a tiny, shaky nod not trusting your voice to speak. She let go of you then, dropping you unceremoniously on the ground and going back to finish dressing up as you sat there wondering if luck was at your side or you were truly foolish to believe so.
Next morning you both continued your walk again. You quietly gathered your supplies after eating and followed her on the road not missing the stare which now you knew hid eyes colour of a chilly winter sky. The silence once welcoming now hung in the air threatening to deafen you. Tension so thick you could almost taste it on your tongue. Walk was short lived because not even an hour in, your luck decided to test you again.
Three men, seemingly out of nowhere appeared right in front of you two their gazes dark, their eyes even darker and you cursed in your head noticing their ugly stares fixed on your body. Your samurai just stood there staring down at them without saying a word before slowly tilting her head to the side and whispering for only you to hear,
"stand back"
You did as you were told and watched as the three men laughed at your companion.
"You think you can take us?" Said one of them, voice raspy filled with amusement and mockery as he took out the small blade and dangled it in front of the samurai while other two laughed. "Give us the girl and maybe we'll let you walk away"
You heard it then. A faint chuckle, melodic and deep so unlike the laugh coming out of awful men in front of you and a part of you, mistrustful and weak and so, so foolish, wondered if she'd actually give you to them. It seemed that you didn't have to wonder long because she unsheathed the sword and before you even managed to blink, her sword was slicing the hand dangling a rusty blade.
It felt like time slowed down, hand fell on the ground blood oozing out from the wound painting everything red and you felt like you were underwater, your ears filled with cotton. You didn't even notice your shaky legs giving out as you fell on the ground yet again.
It ended as fast at it started and soon one man lay dead on the ground, blood pooling around him, his sliced hand laying next to him clutching that rusty metal as other two were running away with panicked gasps and curses. There wasn't a drop of blood on the samurai as she turned around putting the sword back into the scabbard. She noticed your fallen form and tilted her head an unkind smile appearing on her face as she took slow steps towards you, like an animal stalking it's prey.
"are you scared?" Her voice held a hint of mockery, tone almost bored. You realized then that she expected you to run. To cry. A demon, an onryō wearing a mask of a human with mixed blood and eyes so unlike anything you've ever seen before. She expected you to be scared or disgusted and while you were shocked and maybe scared a little bit, there was a hint of something deep inside you, something that made you walk all those miles away from home, made you brave and made you reckless.
A hint of curiosity.
You were curious about her. A lone samurai, a woman, something completely unheard of, walking around for a purpose you didn't know and killing with such precision and skill that left you speechless. That intrigued you, that pulled you in and made you want to understand, to unravel the mystery that was the woman standing in front of you. So really, how could you help it? How could you stop the curiosity taking over your body and how could you stop the words that stumbled out of your mouth catching both of you by surprise.
"What's your name?"
Such a simple, innocuous question. There was a dead man laying in his own blood and there was a samurai in front of you who killed him in mere seconds and you wanted to know her name?
She let out a laugh then. A real laugh, throwing her head back and wrapping arms around herself all hints of mockery and distrust disappearing from her face. The sound pulled you in, mesmerized you and took you by surprise so sudden you felt foolish. foolish for the way your cheeks warmed and foolish for the way your treacherous heart speed up it's rhythmic beating against your chest.
"It's mizu" was all she said after she calmed down and oh, you were such a foolish girl after all.
The walk afterwards wasn't as unpleasant anymore. Tension hanging in the air disappeared and took the silence with it. For some unknown but quite welcoming reasons she even indulged in small talk with you. You got to know about her purpose and in return she got to know about your life in village.
Mizu. Set on a path towards killing four white men in japan. Mizu, whose blue eyes lost it's icy edge and reminded you more of a warm summer sky instead, of clear ocean - wild, untamed but beautiful and deadly. And you wondered, if you tested your luck once more, could you drown in them or drift above.
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ackermonie · 5 months
Text
in a perfect world, you and satoru would get married. you would move into a bigger house, big enough for megumi and tsumiki and yuji and nobara and all the kids you wish you could just hide from the cruelty of this world. you would even have children of your own, away from the gojo clan and their obsession of who is going to inherit the six eyes next.
you always dreamt of a big kitchen with lots of natural sunlight. somewhere far, far away, somewhere you can properly take care of satoru in the way he deserves.
sometimes if your mind drifts far enough, you could almost taste how that feels. you could almost feel the sun on your skin, hear the voices of innocent laughter and running feet echo through the warmth of your home…
but this isn't a perfect world.
in this world, you just happen to be staring at the face-down pregnancy test on the counter. you are bent over on the sink, elbows planted on the counter, and you let your chin hit your chest. breathing is an impossible task.
it’s cold, dull as the worst of knives.
october 31st. you were supposed to be getting ready for the impromptu Halloween party everyone just decided to throw. but once again, since this is far, far away from the world you wish you lived in, you're right here, in one of jujutsu tech's bathrooms with a ticking time bomb within a hand's reach.
"it's probably nothing," shoko puffs out the smoke in her lungs one last time before stomping on her cigarette. "you said you always use protection. I don't think either of you would joke around about something like this."
"my period is four fucking weeks late." you mutter out, yanking on your hair in frustration. "a whole month. this never happened before."
you've been trying to ignore it for weeks, convincing yourself it's just the stress of everything that's going on; it happened before. a couple of weeks and you'd wake up to your uterus being angry at you again, but your breasts grow sorer. you grow cranky and angry and emotional, but you discarded this as another symptom of stress.
four weeks is a little too long.
shoko is quite worried herself, but she can't join your little panic attack. she's the only one you decided to trust with this, and as nonchalant as she usually is, seeing you in such a situation stirred something inside her.
even more so when she has just received a text that summons all hands on deck in shibuya. a text she's sure you're yet to see. a text she shouldn't be showing you until this situation is handled first.
"let's just see it," she steps forwards, a hand on your back for comfort. "whatever the result is."
"i can't have a fucking baby right now."
shoko's hand raises to your nape, giving you a comforting squeeze. she bends down to your level. you look at her.
"we can always get rid of it."
something twists in your chest at the thought, but it seems that this could be the only possible solution for such a situation. you can even do it without telling satoru, since he's been quite busy recently. this would only burden him even more.
"yeah," you nod, looking back down at the sink again. the thought is still running in your brain as you straighten up. you run a hand down your face, shaking your head as if to shake away the anxiety, and you finally reach for the test.
shoko watches as you pause. your chest heaves as you attempt to take deeper breaths, and before she can blink one more time, the test is in your hands.
the bathroom door opens, grabbing only shoko's attention.
"apologies, ladies," nanami's deep voice seems to echo in the breathless bathroom. "we need to go." he takes a step in hesitantly, gaze switching from shoko to your stiff frame. "something is happening in shibuya."
his words fail to be registered by your brain for a while. it takes you all your might to keep standing.
"fuck," you let out breathily.
shoko reaches for the stick in your hand, her stomach twisting at the little + sign on display.
she sighs. "fuck."
"what the hell is going on?" nanami advances towards you two, unable to locate the source of stress in the bathroom until shoko turns around, test in hand.
he stops in his tracks.
"i'm pregnant."
==========================
more?
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Rain Confessions
Summary: A dance in the rain at Jackson's last day of the summer celebration leads to you and Joel finding out something surprising about the both of you after you sneaked off to have some alone time.
Pairing: Joel Miller x fem. reader
Rating: E
Wordcount: 3.5k
Warnings: falling in love, a whole lot of backstory nobody asked for, implied past SA, age gap (around 15-20 years), fluff, baby fever, smut (semi public sex, unprotected sex) accidental breeding kink (?), pregnancy surprise at the end
A/N: This is my entry for @undercoverpena April showers challenge! I had so many ideas for this challenge, but this is it (for now lol)
follow @toomanystoriessolittletime-fics and turn on notifications to get notified when I post new fics
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If you had learned anything about the community of Jackson since arriving here almost two years ago, it was that the people would always find a reason to have a town celebration. 
It was foreign to you at first, celebrating the first summer harvest a week after you arrived. Seeing everyone in the middle of town, celebrating while music was played by some towns people on their instruments. Children playing with wide smiles, safe from all the horrors that laid behind the walls of this tiny town. So much food everyone wouldn’t have to cook for days. 
Dancing. 
Happy people. 
You had a full blown panic attack the first time you had attended a town celebration, overwhelmed from how… normal everything seemed now. Almost like it had been before the outbreak happened. 
You only had little memory of how it was before. You had just turned 20, moved to another state, far away from all of your family for a job you were excited for, but would never get to work in. 
You had been shot on outbreak day, waking up almost a month later in a make shift hospital in what would later become the Dallas QZ. You remembered being told how lucky you were that an officer had brought you in in all that chaos. There would be many times after you had healed and been released, that you asked yourself if you really had been that lucky. The question about why you survived, being a constant thought inside your head. 
Whatever had happened to you had fucked with your memory, leaving you with big gaps about your life before you woke up in the hospital. 
You had stayed in Dallas until the QZ fell, leaving with a group of what you thought back then were friends. You had worked with those people, those men, for many years at the QZ. They had never given any indication about not being decent people. You trusted them.
Trust that you clearly had misplaced. 
You would learn in the following years that they had only taken you with them so they had something to offer to whomever could help them survive. 
It would take years for you to finally escape from them, kill all of them, leaving you with nothing but the clothes on your body stumbling through the deserted lands of what you would learn was Wyoming until a group of people found you. 
You had asked them to kill you, tired of life. 
But they had taken you in. Maria saw something in you that day. 
You became a part of Jackson. Working in the greenhouse every day because as it turned out, you had a green thump.
Yet you were still keeping to yourself. 
The years of abuse you had endured, did not make it easy to trust new people. You only had little friends. Lauren, who worked with you at the greenhouse, and Tommy who made it close to impossible not to be friends with. Maria who became like a big sister to you. 
You weren’t looking to meet more people, let alone find something more than just friendship until Joel Miller stepped into your life. 
You had been pared with him on your monthly patrol, something every citizen of Jackson had been tasked at least once per month, not even knowing he had joined the community, or knowing that he was Tommy’s brother.
He was quiet, reserved, cold, but only to the people who were to scared to look past the facade he put on. 
It was like you could see right through him, the way he was masking the pain he carried with him all day. Maybe because you had been doing the same thing. 
The first patrol you went on together left you drenched to your bones, surprised by rainfall, making you sick for a whole week after with Joel being the only one who would check on you. 
Something you didn’t understand at that time, because you did not know the man. 
You still weren’t sure who made the first move of spending some more time together. It seemed to just… happen. Eating together at the Tipsy Bison after he came back from his job at Patrol. Him visiting you in the greenhouse when he found himself lonely, telling you about his complicated relationship with Ellie at the moment. 
You spending time at his place to teach Ellie how to bake, because she had been nagging you for weeks to do so. 
He never pushed, always listened to whatever you had to say, both of you opening up to each other about what you had went through before getting to Jackson. 
He had held you after you talked about the years you had been in captivity, vowing to never let anyone ever lay a hand on you. 
It was after the first baking lesson, Ellie long gone to bed, that you found yourself in Joel’s arms for the first time, his body on top of yours, his cock filling you slowly, while he whispered words of praise against your ear. 
Yet it would take another couple of months for the two of you to admit that you had feelings for one another, oblivious to what everyone around you saw with their eyes closed. 
There hadn’t been some grand gesture like in the movies. 
It had been a normal night where you felt a little restless and decided to walk towards the stables to wait for Joel to come back from patrol. The way his face lit up when he saw you as he rode through the gates, taking you by surprise even though your face was a mirror image of his. He had wrapped his arms around you and whispered how much he missed you before he kissed you softly, the world around you disappearing when he admitted to you that he’s been in love with you for a while now. 
You had moved into his house the week after.
And now you were in your shared bedroom, getting into clean clothes while Joel sat on the bed, looking at you with warm eyes. 
„We could just stay in? Have some time for ourselves while everyone is busy celebrating the last day of summer?“ He asked and you smiled softly, putting your pants on, while his eyes continued to undress you. 
„And do what?“ You asked. 
„I can think of a thing or two. I’d start with getting you out of this jeans again,“ he winked and you smiled shyly at the way he looked at you. 
You hope he would forever look at you like that. 
„You know your brother would come looking for us. We promised we would be there. And Ellie asked you to come too,“ you reminded him and he sighed. 
Things between him and Ellie were still hard, but she was slowly coming around. There would be a small art installation from the school at the town square and Ellie had drawn a couple of paintings she was excited to show off. 
Joel got up from the bed and walked over to you, his hands coming to rest on your hips. 
„You gonna let me dance with you?“ He asked and you sighed, pulling your arms up and crossing your hands behind his neck, looking up at him. He was smiling softly at you and you were pretty sure you would never be able to love another person like you loved Joel Miller.
„Always,“ you smiled before you got on your tiptoes to kiss him softly. 
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You were watching Joel and Ellie from afar, both of them standing in front of a painting she did from a landscape across town square that was currently filled with people. Ellie had told you that it was the mountain view she had woken up to for an entire week while she was sick on the road, Joel taking care of her until she felt better to continue their travels on their way to find Tommy here in Jackson. 
Joel was visibly struggling to keep the tears at bay as you saw Ellie explain it to him before they hesitantly hugged each other. 
You were sitting under one of the tents that had been put up earlier today, the sky not looking like it would be dry outside much longer. Yet it was warm enough to only wear a T-shirt.
„You think they gonna be okay?“ Tommy asked, sitting down next to you, little Elijah in his arms. Maria had given birth not too long ago to a mini version of Tommy much to her delight. She waved at you from next to the grill, and you waved back before you reached your hand out to Elijah who took your finger with a squeal. 
„I think so. She’s beginning to understand why he did what he did. And he’s understanding why she’s so upset. They miss each other,“ you said and Tommy nodded. 
„I would have done the same if it was my kid,“ Tommy said and you nodded. 
„Yeah. Me too,“ you smiled at Elijah who now was trying to suck on your finger, making you chuckle. 
„Are your parents not feeding you enough, little man?“ You said with a grin. 
Without answering he proceeded to pull your finger in his mouth, making you giggle. 
„Maria just fed him twenty minutes ago. He’s just ravenous,“ Tommy rolled his eyes.
He turned his head when he heard Maria call for him. 
„Can you take him for a moment? My wife calls,“ he asked. With a smile you nodded, opening your arms for the little boy to be placed against your chest, kissing his forehead while he still sucked on your finger. 
„Aren’t you just the cutest little thing?“ You hummed with a small smile as he snuggled against you. When you looked up you found Joel’s eyes locked on you from across the little square and you felt your cheeks warming at the look he was giving you. 
In the past couple of weeks you had the recurring dream about having a baby on your own, a mini version of Joel. You dreamed of watching him with a tiny baby on his chest. You dreamed of your own little family. 
Elijah used this moment to nibble on your knuckles, making your eyes widen before you looked down at the little guy again. 
„You really are hungry huh?“ You laughed.
„He’s teething,“ Maria said, smiling down at you with a plate of food in her hands, Tommy following behind her.
„You gonna eat some spare rips next summer, huh?“ You teased, tickling the babies side, making him giggle. 
„He sure will be,“ Tommy said proudly, before he took Elijah back. 
Music started to play from the band that had formed earlier this year from the town and you could see Tommy smirk. 
„I think you had an admirer,“ he winked before you turned around and found Joel walking towards you. When he was close he held one hand out which you took. 
„You promised me a dance,“ he said and you couldn’t help but smile. 
„I did, didn’t I?“ You said before you let him guide you towards the middle of the square were people had already gathered to dance. 
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The band was playing a song you did not recognise. It was a slow song for a change, Joel and you having danced to two songs before laughing loudly at the way you just could not manage to not stumble over your own feet. 
But now you were in his arms, your cheek against his chest as he slowly swayed you to the beat, his lips against the top of your head while he murmured the words to the song. 
You took a deep breath of his familiar earthy scent that always felt like coming home. 
It was then that you felt the first drops of rain. Feeling his arms tighten around you he cursed quietly as it began to rain, the sky opening up, drenching you within seconds, your clothes clinging to your body. 
The normal reaction would be to seek shelter from the rain, just like the people around you who quickly ran towards the tents that had been put up. 
But you looked up at Joel who was already looking at you, his hair clinging to his face, drops of water falling from his nose down on you.
The band was still playing, the song changing to a distinct version of Purple Rain, making the people who were now in the tents laugh, but you just smiled, letting Joel twirl you on the improvised dance floor before you came to rest against his chest again, both of you laughing. 
You danced for a couple more minutes, before he kissed you deeply, holding you close against him.
„Get a room!“ You heard Tommy yell and you smiled against Joel’s lips, before you took his hand and led him away from the town square.
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He had you crowded against the wall outside of the greenhouse as soon as you rounded the building, his lips on yours, his hands rounding your face. 
The greenhouse was closer, your house being on the other side of town. 
It was still raining, the both of you under the small and apparently leaking roof that was above the outside work station, just out of view from the building. You could still hear the people down the street celebrating when he picked you up to sit you down on the work table, your legs parting so he could step between them. 
„We should get out of these clothes,“ you mumbled against his lips, your fingers working on opening his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders. He sucked your bottom lip between his. 
„We should,“ he agreed, before he pulled your shirt over your head, growling softly before his head lowered between your tits, pushing your bra down, sucking your nipple into his mouth. 
„Shit….“ You moaned, your hands pushing into his hair, your eyes dropping close. 
There was a tiny part of you, that knew it would be a better idea to get back home and out of these clothes, but you wanted Joel so badly, right now. 
„Love these perfect tits,“ he hummed, playfully biting into the soft skin above your left breast. 
„Joel please… Just….“ You pulled his head up so he was looking at you, your eyes wide and needy. 
„You want me to fuck you? Right here? Again?“ He asked and you nodded, memories of all the times he had you right here while the people were working inside, filling your mind, a shudder running down your spine. 
„Sure is gonna be fun to get you out of these drenched jeans,“ he joked and you chuckled before you jumped from the table.
It was a little struggle, the wet denim clinging to your legs like a second skin, but after a little bit of Joel’s help, you had them down to your ankles and Joel kissed you softly. 
„Turn around,“ he hummed and you did, your hands on the edge of the table while you heard Joel’s belt unbuckle, followed from an annoyed huff that let you turn your head over your shoulder to find him too struggling to get his jeans off, making you smile to yourself until you saw him free his cock, his pants just so pushed down to get it out. 
He looked at you with a bashful smile, before he took a step closer, his big hands moving over your ass. 
„Gotta make this quick so I can get you home and out of those clothes,“ he said, before he wrapped one hand around his cock and lined himself up. 
„This okay?“ He asked. He always did, every single time, needing to hear you consent after you told him about how you had been treated in the past. 
„Yes,“ you nodded and he winked at you before slowly sinking into you, inch after inch of his cock filling you, stretching you, until he was nestled deep inside of you, his hips flush against your ass. 
You turned your head back forward, letting it fall down, your eyes closing. 
„Baby…“ he sighed, letting his head fall against your back. He kissed your spine before he began to move, finding a slow rhythm that had you positively losing your mind. 
The rain was still falling hard, dripping down Joel’s back as he fucked into you.
„Need it harder,“ you whined, finding your back pushed against his chest the next moment, one of his hands across your chest, holding one of your tits as his thrusts got deeper. Faster. Harder. 
You brought your hands up, both holding Joel’s arm that was across your chest as he fucked into you. 
His lips found your neck, licking up the rain that was still dripping down your body and you whimpered. 
He took a couple of steps back, pulling you with him until you were back outside in the rain, the warm drops hitting your flushed skin. You leaned your head back against Joel’s shoulder, your eyes opening to find the sun coming out just when Joel’s other hand slipped down between your legs, his hands covering your pussy, his fingers parted to feel how his cock entered you before he moved it in slow circles, stimulating your clit. 
It was too much. 
The rain, his cock fucking you, his hands all over you, his mouth sucking softly at your neck, in the middle of the garden you were working in every single day. 
You came with a soft cry of his name, clenching around his cock, struggling to keep yourself on your feet as he continued to fuck into you. 
„Good girl,“ he hummed against your ear, his hand on your breast tightening, groping, and you gasped. 
„Wish you could cum inside me,“ you hummed and he cursed. 
„Wish I could….“ You stopped yourself, not wanting him to know your deepest secret. Not before you had an actual talk about it. 
„Wish you could what?“ He asked, his thrusts getting slower. He turned your head so you were looking at him and you were sucking your bottom lip in. 
„Wish I could have your baby,“ you whispered, whimpering when you felt him twitch inside of you immediately, his eyes darkening. 
„You want that?“ He asked and you nodded. 
„Fuck,“ he groaned, beginning to fuck you again, somehow ever harder than before, both of his hands now on your tits as he pumped into you. 
„You wanna have my baby?“ He asked. 
„Want me to fuck you so full of me, until it takes?“ He grunted and you moaned. 
„God yes. Yes please Joel. Fuck a baby into me,“ you whimpered and he groaned, his thrusts getting sloppier and you could feel him pulse inside of you before he pulled out, coming against your thigh, his head falling against your shoulder. 
You were both panting, trying to fill your lungs with air while the rain around you seemed to finally slow down. 
Suddenly nervous about what you said you were trying to form an excuse about it, when Joel spoke up. 
„You really meant that?“ He asked, his voice soft. 
Gulping you turned around in his arms, avoiding his eyes until he tilted your head up to him, so you had to look at him. 
„I don’t… I guess I do? I… At first I thought it was just the fantasy about it, but the longer I thought about it….“ You mumbled. 
„How long have you been thinking about it, sweetheart?“ He asked softly. 
„Since I moved in?“ You said and he huffed before he shook his head with a soft smile on his lips. 
„How about we get home and out of these wet clothes and talk about it?“ He asked.
Slowly you nodded and he kissed you, before he helped you get dressed, which was almost more complicated than getting out of the wet clothes before. 
The rain had almost completely stopped as you made your way towards your shared house, Joel holding your hand, stealing glances at you as you looked towards the ground. 
He would be lying if he said he hasn’t been thinking about it. 
And yeah, maybe it was reckless, he wasn’t the youngest anymore. This world was not the best place to bring new life into. 
And maybe it wouldn’t even work, having a baby.
But as he looked at you, with your shy smile on your lips, he knew he would give you everything you wanted to make you happy. 
Both of you not knowing that that one time almost two months ago when you were out for patrol together and he had fucked you against a tree, the second he had pulled out to late was enough to already have you pregnant. 
But you would found that out a month later. 
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igotanidea · 3 days
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Run baby, run: AK!Jason x reader
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part 2 to Somebody's watching me.
She looked so peaceful. So innocent.
And completely oblivious to the fact that the casual outing she went to with her friends was carefully observed by a pair of eyes, hidden under a metal helmet.
Or was she-?
He was like a predator.
Waiting for a single mistake of his prey to take a change and lunge at the opportunity fate presented him with.
Whatever the mistake may be in this case.
But sooner or later she was gonna make one.
Part ways with her friends.
Get drunk and bibulously let some guy touch her.
Dance to the music to the point of exhaustion and end up on the couch in a stranger’s house.
And he would be there to prevent the aftermath of that.
***
For the last week she was going crazy.
Ever since that one night when she saw a silhouette on the rooftop it felt like someone has been following her every move, ever step, lurking in the dark, so close to her and yet, just beyond reach. However, when she tried to tell her friends about they look at her like she was making a joke. So obviously she stopped doing as much as even mentioning it, cause the last thing she wanted was to be abandoned by the only people in her surroundings.
Even if those friends didn’t really deserve the name.
But still – those were the only one she had.
Incomparable with the Waynes she used to spend her time with years ago, before all went to shit. But Jason’s disappearance left an everlasting scar. The only thing she wanted was to forget it all, and yet – the only impossible thing in her life seemed to be letting go of the past. And being in the company of Dick, Tim, Babs and the rest of the clan was making her skin burn and her stomach twist and turn with the incoming, checkless panic attack. Like her entire body and mind felt the pressure of the past on her fragile conscience and damaged soul.
And the only thing she felt like doing in the Manor was either screaming or crying. 
So she moved on, or so she tried to convince herself of.
***
Mistake number one was left her drink unattended when she went to the toilet.
Rookie move with the possible grave consequences.
But it was gone when she came back. Only fueling her paranoia.
Mistake number two was letting her eyes off her companionship and being left alone by the exit with some drunken and already horny guys.
But when with shaky hands she pulled out her phone, desperately searching through her contact list for a potential backup, those men were already dragged into the nearest dark alley and knocked down.
But her worst mistake was not calling the cab and deciding on actually walking home. In her opinion it was a way to get some air and calm her rapidly racing heart, but she freaking forgot it was Gotham.
Like a freaking fool.
Under any other circumstances she would never and the fact that the though of going on foot even crossed her mind was the perfect reflection of her shattered mind spinning like a freaking Ferris wheel.
Something was wrong.
Something was awfully wrong and she felt like she was a main character in some horror movie.
Like that girl, who you watch on the screen, screaming at her to not go to that creepy attic from where the most suspicious sounds come, and then do the exact same thing when faced with a threat.
A ruffle of the leaves. The sound of an empty soda can rolling on the street. The flap of bird’s wing.
It all made her feel like a Freddy Krueger was coming after her.
And maybe she was not so far from the truth.
Her pulse was over the moon, heart running out of her chest, breath quickening, legs starting to move faster and faster and faster as she started running. Not really watching where as long as it was forward and away from whatever imaginary individual was chasing her.
With wild hair, tears in her eyes and blurry vision.
She was so stupid. So fucking stupid and mental, belonging in the mental institution due to her damaged brain refusing to stop dwelling on the past trauma.
“WATCH OUT!”
Before she was hit by a car a strong pair of arms grabbed her by the waist pulling her back to the pavement. She closed her eyes in fear letting whoever her savior was hold her trembling form. As weird as it was, for some reason being in this embrace felt… good. And familiar. Like she belonged there.
And if it was another wave of schizophrenic images coming from her brain she refused to accept it, freezing at the spot and waiting for it to pass.
But the stranger’s seeming grip on her body did not falter. For a longer while that seemed both like an eternity and like a second.
“Y/N….”
It must have been a wind. It must have been a wind. It must have been a wind.
“Y/N…”
The second the voice hit her ears again she turned around abruptly, but there was no one there.
She was going crazy.
With wide terrified eyes, slowly coming back on earth she finally took in her surroundings.
Realizing, to her undeniable terror, that she was right next to Dick’s house. And even worse – noticing the lights in his windows. Which meant he was here and not in Bludhaven. And not patrolling. Which was an uncommon, if not impossible conjuncture.
The past finally caught up with her.
“Y/N?!” Dick noticed her outside and opened the window, holding back the instinct to just jump outside (from 3rd floor) like an acrobat he was. “Y/N?! What are you doing here? Are you ok?”
“No…” she sobbed “No, I’m not okay…” she finally broke down in the middle of the night, on the empty street.
“Damn!” a few minutes later Grayson was downstairs holding her for dear life. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Whatever happened, you are safe with me now, I promise.”
She couldn’t hold back her tears anymore. Crying from fear and stress and helplessness.
“Shhh… come on, let’s get you upstairs and cleaned up. I got you.”
When Dick was slowly guiding her to his apartment, the same predatory red eyes were focused on the pair and the sudden need for vengeance sprouts buds, growing roots deep into the long-petrified heart, crushing down the ice it was covered with.
No one was going to take her away from him this time.
@vaniasagitaa @gone-batty-fics @astrelz @not-herexo @deans-spinster-witch @calicocat45
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lovings4turn · 4 months
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୭ 🗝️ ✧ ˚. 🪩 teas’n, pleas’n . . . (e.m)
— eddie is a man who possesses a lot of musical talent. luckily for you, his fingers’ capabilities extend far beyond plucking the strings of his prized guitar
+ contains: language, smut, afab!reader + fem nicknames
+ divider from cafekitsune
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god, you were a terrible person.
eddie had been wanting to show this to you all day. he’d practically dragged you back to his trailer the second he’d picked you up, all so he could lead you into his bedroom and grab his precious guitar from her place on his wall.
despite his excitement, he’d taken the time to place a pillow against his headboard so that you would be comfortable as you watched him. the caring nature of his action made your heart swell, and the broad grin he’d shot your way as you sprawled out across his mattress only intensified that feeling.
now, as he stood a few feet away from you, mastering a particularly tricky riff with little difficulty but a lot of vigour, you couldn’t even focus on appreciating the sheer talent it took.
it’d probably taken him days, weeks, possibly even months, of endlessly listening to his 'dangerous toys' cassette and playing along, aiming to nail every last note. it wasn't only a means to impress the other members of corroded coffin, no; eddie’s main intention in learning the song was to impress you. and yet, you weren’t even fully paying attention to him.
instead, your eyes were locked on to the way eddie had pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, an expression you’d seen many times before, but under a very different circumstance. instead of gripping the neck of his guitar, his hand would typically be around your throat as he fucked into you fast and deep, filth spilling from his lips as he approached his high. it definitely didn’t help that his head was thrown back, exposing the curve of his neck and therefore the faint smattering of purple marks that you had left a few days prior.
his ring-clad fingers travelled up and down the guitar’s neck with such ease and dexterity, moving so fast it should be considered criminal, and the action made the deep blue veins of his arms and hands pop out beneath his skin. better yet, eddie’s eyes were closed, allowing you to continue your lustful admirations without the looming fear of being caught.
whilst eddie was no doubt running through the memorised tabs in his mind, you were picturing something a lot less pure. the guitar was the least of your concern, and you squeezed your thighs together in an attempt to create some sort of friction.
it was only natural for your mind to go somewhere else.
countless times before you’d seen eddie’s hands repeat similar movements between your legs, calloused fingers moving in and out of your cunt in just the right way to make you see stars. he was good with his hands and the smug little shit knew it, and god you had to stop thinking like this before you got too turned on.
for once, it seemed fate was on your side, as you managed to return to your senses just as eddie played the final few chords. his eyelids fluttered open to reveal those brown, doe eyes thar you adored so much. the smile on his face was impossibly infectious, causing your stomach to flip with a cocktail of love and guilt at his look of pure joy.
“well? what’d you think, sweetheart? am i on my way to becoming the next van halen?”
you grasped for something to say, begging that your mouth would form some appropriate response to his question, spit out a compliment that proved you were definitely paying attention to the music, and not to the way his hands would feel in between your thighs.
“hello?” eddie waved a hand in front of your face, soft chuckles escaping his lips. “earth to y/n. did y’like it babe?”
you blinked slowly, mind finally catching up to what eddie was asking you. before you could formulate a proper sentence, your mouth produced the first thing your muddled brain could think of.
“it was hot as fuck.”
shit.
that was not at all like what you wanted to say at all. the farthest thing from it, in fact. how hard was it to tell him it was impressive? curse your brain for being so impossibly horny right now.
eddie’s playful grin was quickly replaced by a smirk, the corner of his lip pulled up as he moved towards you. with a surprising amount of grace, eddie slotted himself in between your legs, lips ghosting over your own painfully.
just as you moved to connect your lips, to convey everything you had wanted to say to him before your mind has betrayed you, eddie pulled back with a tsk.
“ah, ah, not so fast. you weren’t paying attention to me, were you?” though teasing, his voice was laced with an undertone of incredulity.
though your mouth opened, you closed it almost immediately, floundering as you attempted to remain calm. your lack of a response told eddie everything he needed to know.
“huh. so, how about you tell me what exactly you were thinking about in that pretty little head of yours?”
you shook your head in an act of defiance, but it was no use. rough fingertips made contact with your chin, forcing your eyes to meet deep brown ones.
"don't get all shy on me now, sweetheart."
eddie's words were mocking, the corner of his lips quirked up into an amused smirk. yet, he was only human.
finally, his bitten lips pressed against your own. whilst one hand cupped your jaw, the metal of his rings cold against your flushed cheeks, the other dropped down to your chest, bunching up the fabric of your shirt.
his fingers moved tantalisingly slow, trailing from your navel down to the skin of your thigh. with a teasing purr, he grazed his hand against your dripping pussy before turning his attention to the other thigh. any attempt to mask just how much he was loving this had clearly failed - you could read him like a book.
"so fucking wet f'me, shit. been wanting it this the whole time, huh?"
all you could do was whine, bucking your hips up in an attempt to meet his hand. eddie merely tutted and swatted at the flesh of your thigh, shaking his head as he looked up to meet your eye.
"ah, ah, babe. you gotta ask for what you want." his hands trailed up and down your skin with a featherlight touch, leaving goosebumps in the wake of his warm palms. "want to hear you say all of the dirty little things you want me to do to you. i'm gonna fucking wreck you, princess."
you were in for a long night.
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remlionheart · 1 month
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Sex, Money, Feelings, Die (part two)
* ˚ ✦ MDNI ✦˚ *
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ ask and you shall receive ~ you guys wanted more, so here it is! 𓆩♡𓆪 thank u so much for all the love on this ♡ i didn't expect my first shot at Chuuya to gain so much traction but i'm really glad it did (he's just soooo ♡‿♡ u know?) hope you like a good slowburn bc buckle up, heavy "we shouldn't be doing this" vibes, Chuuya would honestly be the most arrogant yet easy to break dom because of how badly he wants to please you and you can't convince me otherwise, porn with a plot, 5.6k words. this fic once again had me swooning and gnawing at the bars of my enclosure writing it so pls lemme know whatcha think, also big shoutout to @bratbby333 for helping me edit this ღ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧ ♡ here's part one if you're new here ♡
You stared at yourself in the bathroom mirror with a sigh, tugging at the neck of your shirt. It was late August, 90 degrees outside, and you were on day three of wearing a turtleneck.
You felt like you were attending a funeral in your black top, black heels, and black tennis skirt - but it was all you had left. You'd already worn your other patterned and pleated options earlier in the week. Already paired each stifling hot sweater with the nicest necklaces you had to make them look more business casual than walk-of-shame.
But no matter how nonchalant you'd tried to seem about your sudden change in wardrobe, it was impossible to ignore the curious stares you'd been getting. The suspicious glances from Akutagawa who just a few days ago could barely even look in your direction without tripping over his own feet. There was a palpable sense of skepticism that followed you and it only seemed to get worse with each high-collared shirt you wore.
You let out another sharp exhale, surveying yourself one last time before heading back to your office. You were busy trying to decide on which expletive you were going to spend the next 7 hours cross-stitching when you rounded the corner, a sudden rush of warmth spreading across your face as a pair of cerulean eyes locked with yours.
Out of all the looks you'd gotten recently, his were by far the hardest to avoid.
Time seemed to slow as you passed him. A subtle but taunting smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth while he continued his conversation with Mori. Something about his upcoming assignment in Osaka and how it'd require him to be gone for at least two weeks.
You disappeared into your office, closing the door behind you as you took a seat and diligently began working on a new project.
Your thread kit had become invaluable over the last few days. It wasn't just a way to pass time anymore - it was an escape. A tool you used to steer your thoughts away from the one place that they kept relentlessly trying to wander back to.
Since the announcement of his solo mission, there'd hardly been a chance for you to see Chuuya outside of the lingering glances you'd exchange in passing. Mori had been keeping close tabs on him, constantly barging in and out of his office to go over the details of his assignment. You tried to remind yourself that it was probably for the best. That the safest thing you could do was keep what had happened between the two of you a onetime fling and nothing more.
It hadn't mattered in the moment how careless you'd both been when you assumed that you'd never see him again, but now that your time here had been extended, you were quickly realizing how critical it was to keep your wits about you. Up until arriving at Port Mafia, you'd barely been skating by. Living off of a dwindling savings account and more often than not having to choose between dinner or rent.
The first check you received from Mori alone was more than you made all of last year working as a barista. You knew that this sort of opportunity would never come again. That it was absolutely fleeting and subject to change at any given moment, but that's what made keeping it for as long as you could so important. The money you were making now would put you through college. It would grant you a future that didn't involve debt. A sense of stability that you never would've had otherwise.
You had no choice but to lay low, for real this time.
You moved your tapestry needle with ease, adding small, strategically placed hearts around the words, "choke me" as you stretched out your legs with a yawn.
The coffee they had here wasn't nearly as good as the coffee you'd usually get from the cafe down the street, but you decided it was better than nothing as you set your cross-stitch pad on your desk and ventured down the hallway.
For as dangerous as this place was, there was still an odd allure of normalcy about it. There were mundane things like work meetings and fax machines and a breakroom that stayed stocked with beverages and snacks. If it weren't for the people that worked here, this truly would be just another business building in downtown Yokohama.
Your suede pumps tapped against the tile as you entered the breakroom, grabbing a k-cup out of the drawer and popping it into the machine before walking over to the cabinet. Despite the three-inch heels you were wearing, you still had to resort to using your tiptoes to reach the mug you wanted.
Your waist leaned into the counter, your arm reaching as high as it could go when your entire body suddenly froze.
You felt him before you heard him, a pair of gloved hands stealthily gripping around your hips. He rested his head on your shoulder, his breath sending chills along your skin as it broke through the barrier of your shirt and danced across the nape of your neck. He pulled you in closer, your ass meeting the firmness of his growing bulge while his palm slowly drifted up past your skirt and brushed against your inner thigh.
"You know you can't ignore me forever, right?" It was posed as a question but held the weight of a threat with the tantalizing way he touched you.
Your pulse raced, heat gathering at your center as he began to toy with the lacy outline of your underwear. His fingers were dangerously close to where you wanted them and where you knew they shouldn't be. Where they couldn't be if you wanted to stay here.
It was cruel irony that just last week it had been him who was trying so hard to keep himself together and now you were somehow the one struggling to maintain your composure. Failing to stop yourself from arching your back against him. Nearly whining when he abruptly pulled away from you and disappeared without another word.
You swallowed hard, looking down at yourself while you straightened out the hem of your skirt, your body still aching from the disappearance of his touch. It was only then that you realized just how fitting your outfit for today actually was.
You were attending a funeral, mourning the loss of your dignity that had died so easily at the hands of Chuuya Nakahara.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
Two days had passed since your run-in with the redhead and you'd barely seen him since. You knew he was set to leave for Osaka tomorrow morning from the conversations you'd overheard while wandering the hall and you knew he wasn’t looking forward to it.
Maybe it would've been easier to not care about what he was doing if you weren't forced to be here every day, but there was no such thing as a break when working for Port Mafia. No weekends. No time off. Even as arguably their most useless member, you were still expected to show up day in and day out without complaint.
You didn't like to admit it, but his assignment had been weighing on you since you'd first found out about it. You didn't understand why he was being asked to go alone. Why he'd have to be there for two weeks. Why you even cared to begin with.
It'd been bleeding into everything you touched, your embroidery going from mindless patterns to things you couldn't possibly bring yourself to say out loud.
Your fingers moved with precision, adding dainty purple flowers around the words "please be safe" when the landline on your desk let out a shrill, unexpected ring.
You paused, staring at the phone with hesitant curiosity. You'd assumed up until now that it was a decorative prop. A piece of outdated technology to help add to the illusion that you had a real office rather than just an empty room to keep hidden away in for 9 hours. You were floored that it actually worked.
On the fourth ring, you finally caved, answering it with a reluctant, "Hello...?"
"You'd make a terrible receptionist, y'know that?"
You hated the smile that crept across your face as you twirled the phone cord around your index finger. "Don't you have anything better to do besides bother the help?"
"Nah, not really." You could hear the smirk in his voice. "Mori's finally out of my hair for a bit. Somethin' about needing to go check the status of one of our bases out in Tokyo so he should be gone the rest of the day."
"Hmm," You hummed, still fidgeting with the tangled wire. "Guess you'll have plenty of time to clean your office before you leave then."
He let out a semblance of a laugh, his tone still riddled with salacious arrogance as he said, "Get your ass in here." and hung up.
You drew in a shallow breath, mentally kicking yourself yet again for how little self-control you had as you stood up and made your way down the hall. Your skin had just healed from the marks he'd left on you and here you were, flirting with the possibility of getting more.
The door opened seconds after you'd knocked, a set of narrowed blue eyes and tousled red hair greeting you as you stepped into his dimly lit workplace.
You took a seat on the leather couch he had in the corner of the room, pretending not to notice as he locked the door behind you.
"Does Mori not pay you enough to have more than one lamp in here?"
He stood in front of you with his arms folded over his chest, a cocky grin breaking through his nonchalant demeanor. “Sorry, where does he have you working again? That tiny ass room that used to be the broom closet? Yeah, I bet the fluorescent lighting is way better in there.”
You bit back your own dumb smile, rolling your eyes as you crossed one leg over the other. "Did you drag me in here to just insult me or do you actually need something?"
"Depends, do you like being insulted?"
You could feel your body betray you, a telling shade of pink decorating your cheeks as you averted your gaze from his.
"Really?"
You didn't have to look at him to know how much it’d piqued his interest.
"Why are you going to Osaka?" You asked, eager to change the subject.
There was a subtle wave of seriousness that washed over him. His voice losing its playful edge as he rolled his shoulders with a sigh. "I can't really go into too much detail without making you a liability. The less you know about the shit that goes on around here, the better."
Your mouth open and then closed, the objection you had lined up dying on the tip of your tongue as you quietly nodded back at him. Even if you didn't want to accept his answer, you knew he was right.
"Aw, don't tell me you're actually worried about me?" He tilted his head at you, his stare softening when he caught the sincerity in your eyes as you looked back at him. "I'll be fine. Trust me, compared to the other missions I've had to go on, this is nothin'."
You had no choice but to trust him, you knew he was blunt enough to tell you the truth and if he wasn't stressed about leaving, then you couldn't be either. As easy as it was to forget, he wasn't just another member of Port Mafia, he was an executive. There was no way Mori would send him alone if he didn't think it was something he could handle.
"Honestly, I'm more worried about you." He said, breaking your train of thought by nudging your leg with his foot. "What're you gonna do for two whole weeks while I'm gone?"
You buried the rest of your concern with a shrug, uncrossing your legs as you shot him a small smile. "I don't know. Guess I'll have to start fooling around with Akutagawa to pass the time."
He nearly snorted he laughed so hard.
"What? You don't think I could have him if I wanted to?” It was infuriating how easy it was to banter back and forth with him like this. How effortless it was for you to both volley off one another without missing a beat.
He shook his head, trying not to burst into laughter again from the thought of you and his perpetually flustered coworker. "Nah, you could. Just think you'd be disappointed is all. Akutagawa wouldn't know what the fuck to do with a girl like you."
There was something about the way he said it that made the blood dance in your veins.
"Fine." You pressed, still wearing the same slight smile. "Tachihara then."
It was becoming a real problem, the way you loved toying with him as much as he loved toying with you.
"He wouldn't."
"I bet he would."
He bent down to become eye-level with you, butterflies flooding your stomach as he reached out to rest his hand under your chin, a gentle but firm grasp holding you in place. "You can try," he said, his thumb lightly dragging across your bottom lip. "But I don't think you'll have much luck."
"Why?" It was barely a whisper let alone an actual question.
You knew him well enough to know where this was more than likely going, but there was a depraved part of you that wanted to hear him say it. Needed to hear him say it.
"'Cause," His eyes glazed over as he leaned in, closing the already small gap between you so that you were forced to share the same breath. "Tachihara isn't dumb enough to touch things that belong to me."
Your heart was threatening to beat straight out of your chest. A week's worth of pent-up arousal nearly dripping onto his couch as you looked back at him without the faintest bit of restraint left in you.
All of the reasons why you'd been trying so hard to stay away from him suddenly held no real merit. They were lost to his touch. Completely eviscerated the moment his lips finally caught yours and his tongue swirled against you with the same tender urgency you'd been daydreaming about for the last five days. The future didn’t seem so pressing when the present was this heavenly.
Your legs parted without him having to ask, inviting his body to come between them while your hands travelled to the back of his neck. Desperate fingertips sinking into his skin in a feverish attempt to somehow pull him even closer.
"'Take it you're finally done ignorin' me?"
You nodded as you watched him push your skirt up, briefly pausing to take his gloves off with the same toothy method he’d used the last time you were in his office. You could tell it was a seldom act for him. Something he had to consciously remind himself to do, but only when he was with you.
"Good."
His mouth attentively returned back to yours, calloused but gentle fingers digging into the softness of your thigh while his thumb swiped your underwear to the side, granting him access to your weakest point.
"Fuck," he groaned, drawing light circles against you, reveling in the way your hips thrusted up for more.
As eager for a challenge as he was, he secretly loved how easy you were to please. How little it took to rob you of your composure and have your legs shaking around him. How pitiful you looked from only two of his digits slipping in and out of you. How your pupils would dilate in this delirious way each time he went deeper, but how you were still submissive enough to never break eye contact no matter how much you writhed and squirmed beneath him.
"Chuuya -"
"What is it baby?"
He could feel how close you were. Knew it wouldn't take much more to have you soaking him, but he couldn't leave for two weeks without making you cum on more than just his fingers. He needed to know what your walls felt like wrapped around him. What absolutely fucking dazed out noises you would make once he was inside of you.
He undid his belt with his freehand, not letting up on you as you grabbed onto the collar of his shirt.
"Fuck, yes. P - please." You whimpered, watching him stroke himself as he carefully lined up with your center. "Please, Chuuya, ohmygod, please."
"Jesus Christ." He choked out, reeling in how pretty you sounded begging for him. Almost not being able to stop himself as he watched you come completely undone, still pleading for his dick.
He moaned against you, forehead pressed to yours as he finally found the willpower to pull his fingers out of you. His tip had just barely made it past your entrance when a loud knock brought both of you to an insanely cruel and abrupt pause.
His hand flew over your mouth, fire flickering across his blue eyes as he drew in a sharp breath.
"What?" he called out through gritted teeth.
"Plan's changed." It was Tachihara. "Mori's back. He wants you to leave now instead of tomorrow."
"Now?" The anger in his voice was palpable. "Like, right now?"
"Yeah, he's waiting in the jet."
"You can't be fuckin' serious." He grumbled, a pained expression taking hold of him as he looked back down at you, removing his hand from your mouth.
"Gimme a minute." He yelled, silently trying to ration what he was supposed to do with your body still splayed so beautifully under his.
He wanted to fuck you. God damn, he wanted to ignore everything else in the entire world and fuck you into oblivion at this point, but he knew it wouldn't be fair to either of you to have to rush through it or be stressed about the fact that someone might barge in at any second.
It needed to be the right time because you both deserved it. Especially with how many mutual pent-up emotions there now were between you.
Pulling out of you was torture, but he didn't have a choice.
You could've cried, your heart and pussy both grieving the loss of something they'd never even had.
"I swear," He said, forehead back against yours, "As soon as I get back, it's me and you, okay?"
You nodded, doing your best to swallow down your emotions.
"Okay." You finally agreed, eyes still locked with his, a faint smile poking through your frustration. "But if you're not back in two weeks, don't be surprised when you see me and Akutagawa holding hands in the hallway."
He let out a half-hearted laugh as his lips met yours, kissing you in a way that he hadn't before. Soft, lingering... affectionate.
"Hey," you whispered seriously this time, "Please be safe."
"Promise."
And with that, you began redoing the buttons on your blouse and smoothing down your skirt while you watched him grab a jacket out of his armoire, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of the pocket.
"You smoke?"
"Only when I really need one."
He shot you a wink, wrapping his arm around your waist as he walked you out of his office, not caring at all who saw.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
You knew it would be awkward without him around, but you hadn't anticipated just how slow the next week would go by. You were tired. Out of ideas for cross-stitch patterns and nearly positive that your curled fingers weren't capable of creating anything else even if you wanted to.
You read manga to keep yourself busy. Looked up recipes on your phone. Took naps at your desk that left kinks in your neck. Called your friends from back home, trying to keep the conversation going long after there was nothing left to say. You were bored. Grateful to still be here, but ready for a day off that you knew wouldn't come.
The check you received on Friday was enough of a reason to stay though. It made the long days of staring at a wall worth it. You reminded yourself again and again that there would never be another job like this. That you might actually miss it one day.
You had no idea, however, just how quickly that day would actually come until you were rounding the corner back to your office and ran into Kyoto. She was the same peach-haired woman who had recruited you from the bar, only she was standing with a fresh face. A girl who looked to be about your age with big brown eyes, flowy blonde hair, and a skirt that was somehow even shorter than yours.
When you had first started, they'd told you that there would be other 'administrative assistants' coming eventually, but you'd almost forgotten about it until now.
Your eyes drifted from her to Kyoto, thinking there was surely no way you'd both be expected to share the same office with how small it was.
You started to extend a hand out to the blonde, ready to introduce yourself when you were promptly cut off by Kyoto.
"Your time here is up." She said curtly. "If there's anything you need to get out of your workstation, I suggest you do it now."
A vicious mix of anger and embarrassment churned in your stomach. "My time here is up?" You repeated blankly. "Why?"
"Mori's decided you're a distraction." She shot you a pointed look. "Especially to that of Nakahara. Now, get your things before I have you escorted out."
Your ears were ringing, your vision blurred by tears at how cold and sterile this all felt.
You went into your office for the last time, grabbing the thread kit and books out of your drawer as you made your way down the hall, looking back to see your replacement excitedly taking over the spot that was once yours.
Goodbye college, goodbye easy money, goodbye Chuuya.
You were able to hold yourself together on the train ride home and on the walk back, but the minute you made it into your apartment and closed the door behind you, everything all spilled out at once. Your crafts and manga falling from your hands as you sank down to the floor and sobbed.
You thought nothing could've been as mortifying as your first day with Port Mafia, but your last day had proved to be far worse. You were right back at square one and it felt terrible.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
The next few days were a blur of filling out online job applications and revamping your resume. You'd hardly eaten. Hardly showered. Hardly done anything that involved getting out of bed.
It was Sunday and rent was due tomorrow. You'd done the math in your head - you had enough money in your savings account to live here comfortably for the next three months without any additional income. If you really pushed yourself and lived uncomfortably, you could probably even skate by for four.
But no matter how much you tried to remind yourself that there was time, you still couldn't shake the feeling of failure that you'd been left with. If you'd been fired for other reasons, it might not have hurt as bad, but the fact that it really was your fault haunted you.
You took a breath, looking over yourself in the bathroom mirror. A combination of three-day old clothes and a knotted side-bun staring back at you. You decided if you were going to continue to sulk, you could at least do it in some fresh pajamas and washed hair.
The hot water felt good beading across your skin as you scrubbed off the grime and regret that had been stuck on you since the day you’d been let go. The air filling with the smell of vanilla as you exfoliated your legs and ran a conditioning treatment through your tangled locks.
You still didn't feel great, but you felt better and that was a start.
You threw on a white tank-top with a pair of oversized grey sweatpants, running a brush through your hair when you heard the buzz of your doorbell. You froze, looking down at your phone to see the time 11:11 flash across your screen.
You hadn't had a visitor since you'd moved here, let alone had someone stop by at almost midnight.
Your footsteps were light as you crept down your hallway, cautiously peeking through the slit in your door watching him impatiently ring the buzzer again, running a hand along the back of his neck while he waited.
"Chuuya?"
"You'd make a terrible doorman, y'know that?"
It was the first time you'd laughed in the last six days, your arms wrapping around him before you even had the chance to think about what you were doing.
He didn't seem to mind though, his hands locking around your waist as you both pulled each other closer. "How did you -" Your thoughts were everywhere. "How did you find my address?"
He let out a slight laugh, his breath fanning across your neck. “I told you it'd be me and you when I got back.”
There was something so sincere about the way he said it. Something so overwhelming about the way he was looking at you. Out of all the things you'd lost recently, you were incredibly thankful he wasn't one of them.
You let him in, locking the door as he followed you down the hall.
“Sorry," you said sheepishly, realizing that you were about to bring him into the messiest part of your apartment. "It's not always like this."
He took a moment to look over your bedroom. The thumb-tacked pictures of you and your friends that decorated the space above your bed. The string lights and cloud-patterned tapestry adorning the walls. The matching baby-pink sheets and comforter set.
It looked like you. It smelled like you. And no matter how many clothes there might've been scattered across the floor or mugs piled up on your nightstand, it was still way cozier than the hotels he'd been staying at over the last two weeks.
"Looks fine to me." He shrugged, taking off his jacket and tossing it onto a velvet chair next to your dresser. "How've things been since I've been gone?" he asked, taking a seat next to you on the bed with a small smirk. "You and Akutagawa official yet?"
Your eyebrows furrowed as you stared back at him, "Mori didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
"I, um..." Your gaze was suddenly on the hem of your shirt as you began to fidget with it instead of looking at him. "I got fired."
"Mori fired you?" There was a sobering sharpness to his voice as he repeated it. "For what?"
You knew he'd find out one way or another, but it was still embarrassing having to relive your conversation with Kyoto. "For 'being a distraction.'" you sighed, your eyes hesitantly dragging up to his. "To you."
There was a brief moment of silence and then, a laugh.
“Huh,” he mused. “Well they're gonna be in for a real fuckin' surprise when you come in tomorrow then.”
You shook your head at him in quiet confusion. "Chuuya, I can't just show back up. Kyoto threatened to have me escorted out when I took more than five minutes to get my stuff out of my office."
His brow arched in a way that made your heart skip a beat.
"Did she?" The question was somehow calm despite the scornful undertone it carried. "Well," he breathed, gently tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. "She's gonna really hate it when the entire building has to hear me fucking you. Every. Single. Day."
A sudden warmth washed over you, beginning at your cheeks and ending at your core as you blinked back at him cluelessly. "What are you talking about?"
"You're gonna be my personal assistant." The smirk he was wearing was lethal. "And I'll pay you more than that asshole ever did. Weekends off. Full benefits. Alla that."
"Are you -" He'd never lied to you before and you weren't sure why he'd start now, but you were struggling to wrap your mind around the fact that you'd just gone from being unemployed to promoted in a matter of minutes. "Are you serious?"
"Well yeah," He said simply, his grin softening a bit. "I mean, who else is gonna clean my office before I go on trips?"
You both smiled this time before your lips were immediately back on his. Eager, unreserved, bliss.
He fell back into the bed with you on top of him, his hands gliding along your curves while you straddled him. The flimsy straps of your tank-top slipping down your arms as you hovered over him, kissing and nipping at his neck.
He didn't care if you left marks on him. Didn't care if he showed up tomorrow smelling like your perfume with blatantly obvious bites covering his collarbone. He wanted everyone to know if they didn't already. Wanted them to stare and whisper and drop fucking dead at the sight of the two of you walking in together. It made him feral just thinking about it.
Your hips were rocking against him, your center aligned perfectly with his as you moaned at the friction your movements were creating. You could feel him growing hard beneath you, his fingers tugging at the waistband of your sweats.
"Here." he said in-between breaths, helping you out of them and tossing them onto the floor.
You started to pick up where you left off, but he stopped you, swiftly undoing his belt and adding his pants and boxers into the sea of discarded clothing too. You hadn't even been able to see it until now. Hadn't been able to fully appreciate the length and fucking girth of his cock up until this very moment.
You left another kiss on his neck and then on his chest and then on his torso, meticulously leaving them all over while making your descent down to the one place you so desperately wanted to be.
He watched you with wide eyes, your hand wrapping perfectly around him as you looked up and slowly ran your tongue along the side of his base.
"Fuuuck." His voice was heady, his hands tangling into your hair as you made your way up to his tip.
You opened your mouth wider, almost wondering how it was going to fit, but you managed. Taking him inch by inch, going down further each time until you developed a steady rhythm.
You understood why he liked going down on you so much. The noises he was making were gorgeous. Groaning out sweet little nothings the faster you went. "Doin' so fucking good for me, baby." "God, you're so pretty, y'know that?"
You kept one hand on him, gliding him in out of your mouth as the other trailed down to your clit. Feeling your own slick between your fingers only made you all the more blitzed out. You were sucking and moaning and watching him stare down at you like you had put the stars in the sky as you fingered yourself while somehow still staying focused on him.
"C'mere." It was the first coherent thing he'd said since your tongue had so lavishly graced him.
He gave your hair a gentle tug, pulling you back up so that you were almost sitting on top of him.
"I need to feel you so fuckin' bad, you have no idea." he breathed, lining himself up with you, feeling how wet you were before you'd even lowered yourself onto him.
His hands rested on your hips, your grip back around his base as you centered yourself over him.
It’d been so much just to take in your mouth, you were almost afraid of how bad this would hurt, but he was aware of his size. Letting you go at your own pace as he helped keep you steady.
The stretch he provided you with from the first couple of inches alone was noticeable, but heavenly. Your eyebrows knitting together as you looked back at him. A dazed, poutiness taking over you the further down you went.
You took him in deeper and deeper until finally, you were fully riding him.
"There you go, fuck - just like that."
He watched your head lull back, your hand reaching for his as you continued to grind against him. Both of you losing control as he began to thrust into you.
Your eyes went wide, his name echoing across the room while your walls spasmed around him.
"Sucha good girl."
His praises only made you go faster, one of your hands still locked around his and the other now palming at your chest. Squeezing your nipple between your index and ring finger as you looked back down at him. "Chuuya - 'm -"
It was hard to tell where his moans stopped and yours began, the carnal sounds synchronizing the deeper he plunged into you.
He felt another clench, and then, he was suddenly drowning in you. Completely unable to hold himself together anymore as you soaked him.
"Cum inside me." you whimpered, "Please, Chuuya. I wanna feel it. Please, please - fuck, baby, please.”
It didn't take you begging to convince him, but it certainly made it happen faster.
His ocean eyes rolled back as he thrusted into you, absolutely enamored by the sounds you were making. The way you were pleading and pouting as he filled you.
It somehow made every daydream he’d had about you seem lackluster in comparison. You were beautiful you were his.
You both stilled for a moment, trying to catch your breath before looking back at each other with the same exhausted smile.
He pulled out of you slowly, letting you collapse onto his chest as he ran light fingers through your hair. "You should probably set an alarm for tomorrow." He exhaled. "I heard your new boss is a real asshole."
"Oh yeah," You mused, leaning up so that your lips were ghosting his. "He's the worst."
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
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angelsworks · 1 year
Text
Yandere!Edward Cullen x popular! Reader
Type: Oneshot
Request: Nope
Summary : After moving to a new school Edward Cullen finds his mate at the top of the social good chain.
Warnings: Controlling nature, yandere themes, high school.
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This must have been some sort of joke by Alice. When she said she’d seen his mate Edward was over the moon; more than that, he was floating in space. Far above the moon in fact, closer to the Milky Way. After being alone for so long, finally finding his mate was a godsend.
What Alice seemed to leave out was the fact that you were the most popular person at forks high school, maybe even the most popular person in forks.
A week late (Y/N) arrived at Forks High school. The brightest smile he’d ever seen adorned your face, eyes full of stars. It was easy to see why everyone was so entranced by you.
You spoke to everyone, which might have sounded exaggerated, but Edward had seen you. Whatever social status these students had didn’t matter. Any reason to say hello and you did.
By the end of the day you’d told their whole year why you were a week late, some wildlife retreat in the mountains.
At lunch you sat with your main group, being the main entertainment for them all. Whether it was through an entertaining joke or some personal opinions you were sharing.
Throughout that first week he stayed back and watched you as they floated around school. To him you were an Angel. You were kind to everyone and he hadn’t heard you say a bad thing yet.
But he was getting angsty. You were either talking to someone else or being pestered by admirers for him to make his introduction. It got to a point where Emmet was teasing him at his inability to talk to his own mate.
The pull towards you was undeniable. Your scent would calm him, your voice would lull him into an impossible sleep, your thoughts came as brief flashes but were so interesting and whimsical.
Everything about you was perfect to him.
He wasn’t the only one who thought that unfortunately. He could count twenty people at least who thought about you romantically. He has the awful pleasure of hearing their every thought. The only resolve he has was listening to your own, brief as they were they weren’t filled with them.
His salvation came in the middle of week two in the form of a seating plan. Many of the teachers had realised that students couldn’t be trusted to sit with friends so they made seating plans.
Seeing as Edward was new for the most part the teachers assumed you two hadn’t met yet. It was this very thought that lead to him being sat with you for five lessons out of the many others.
It was here in an English class he could finally say hello.
For the first time since he’d seen you he could feel his dead heart beat as you spoke to him. Your smile lighting your face, eyes twinkling, thoughts filled with flashes of him.
It didn’t last long before your attention was taken from him and on to someone else. It wasn’t necessarily the other persons fault. You were just so bubbly, too bubbly if that’s possible.
It didn’t stop his thoughts from turning jealous and hateful. You were his mate not that you knew it and your attention should be on him.
In the next lesson he shared he convinced you to sit with him and his family at lunch. Telling you that they were all really shy and hadn’t spoke to many people yet. Of course that was how they wanted it.
You more than happily agreed, explaining that ordinarily you would have welcomed them yourself, but you were away and no one told you. You’d been too preoccupied with being in your own little human world.
The Cullens all made an effort to smile and act as human as possible. They even took bites out of the previously untouched food on their trays.
Not that you noticed. You happily chatted about the school and all the best things about it, from the inside scoop on teachers to the clubs on offer.
You asked your own set of questions to, about their home life and family. About doctor and Mrs cullen. Where they’d been before.
After that day you’d gone back to sitting with your friends. You’d smiled every time you saw any of the Cullens, Edward included. But it wasn’t enough. Not for Edward. He wanted to be more than just someone you smiled at. He felt like any other person in the hall; not your mate.
At this point he was feeling drastic, not that it was unheard of for him to be. He called upon his siblings for help.
From that point while you spoke to your friends a feel of boredom filled your being. It could have been the funniest story in the world; but it just felt mediocre.
After a couple of weeks you started to feel really bad. You didn’t understand why you were being such a bad friend.
Jasper told Edward about this adding to his own suspicions from reading your mind. He asked Jasper to further help him out.
Edward made more of an effort to catch you alone. And Jasper made an effort to fill you with so much joy during that time, that it became undeniable you enjoyed Edward’s company more.
Soon you were having lunch with the reclusive Cullens more. Along with sitting with Edward in classes and hanging out after school. It all became very Edward centred, which is what he wanted.
Through no fault of your own you’d isolated yourself from your friends, from everyone. One planned to confront you about it. Alice however saw this in her visions, telling Edward who convinced Rosalie to be especially mean to that friend.
It didn’t stop them though. When they came to you to tell you how mean Rosalie had been, you didn’t believe them. Telling them she’d only ever been nice to you and everyone else. You brushed them off, causing them to get annoyed. Calling you out on your distance.
It made you highly upset. Giving Edward a chance to get closer to you. He was able to hold you as you cried and his heart swelled.
His plans had worked extremely well. So well in fact that it was easy getting you to accept his offer to take you out on a date. From there your relationship only grew.
That one friend kept interfering though. Edward brushed them off, telling you it was natural to spend more time with a partner and that they were just jealous.
When they kept being an issue for your relationship Edward decided to take it into his own hands. He took care of that friend. He was careful not to do anything that will alter his amber eyes.
You were heartbroken of course, to hear that they’d disappeared in the woods. It wasn’t an unusual occurrence. But saddening none the less.
His family had their suspicions, but they valued his happiness over his moral ambiguity.
Eventually Edward decided to tell you about his vampiric nature. It went down well of course with Jasper’s help.
Any chance of you leaving was seen by Alice, your moods were controlled by Jasper and Edward has a keyhole view into your mind.
He decides not to tell you about their gifts just yet.
Not until your turned and by his side forever.
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