December 3, 2022 - Saturday

December will be a great month inshallah, I believe it! So far I have:

tested negative for covid (after 2 weeks 🦠) alhamdullillah

cleaned + disinfected my entire room - feels like a new start

went thru all my income + expenses for the last half of the year 🤧 (exhausting, productive and revealing 😬)

talked with my friend on the phone (she who is too busy to breathe).

little bro returned from trip

Tomorrow the plan is to add a pompom to a hat I knitted, make parchment envelopes to give out the dates my bro brought back from umrah, and maybe even go outside after 2 weeks -wipes tear- (outside pics are from last winter)

Wow... maybe I actually pulled a Babel?

" Islam tells men to honor women and women to honor themselves. "

I've been asking Allah عز وجل for righteous companions for such a long time now... and not once did I ever expect that du'a to be answered in the form of colleagues. Allahu Akbar, truly.

It is so mind boggling and heart warming at the same time, how unexpectedly and strangely Allah answers our prayers ❤️

i am freaking sadddddddddd. i didn't know i would grieve the parts that made me like him in the first place

.

Bruuuh

Since I can’t read Arabic, I ask my mom to translate your posts and 90% of the time she gets it! ,,, but my favorite reaction is when she reads it out grammatically correct and then tells me “I have no idea what she said” LMAO

NOOOOO😭😭😭

im thankful for everything but above all alhamdulillah im thankful for being childless 💕💕💕

December 31, 2022 - Saturday | 11/88 of Winter

Today was the last day of the year ✨ It was unseasonably warm and I visited my friend and we painted together and I had such a great time, Alhamdulillah. I think one of the charms of a childhood friend is that they don’t just see you as you are now. They see you and all the other previous versions of you that are still in there. So there’s no reason for any kind of pretense (which can be tiring). No need to lean into one narrative about who you are (the funny friend, the mom friend)- you can just exist. It doesn’t matter what you are now. You’re still that kid with big dreams who did dumb things to make people laugh, even if now you’re more jaded and tired and exhausted, they can still see that kid in you somewhere- which is really comforting. With my friend today, it felt like time warped and we were back in middle school and she’s quietly drawing in her notebook while I’m talking her ears off about one thing or another 💓

I might talk all the time about how to do stuff without the need of external validation and how not to think about who would say what about your work but the daughter in me always feels elated and 10× more confident when my Baba gives complement to me or my work. SubhanAllah.

Today I spent the whole day outside. I had brunch with one of my besties, then crashed at my sister's for a quick noon break, then spent the whole afternoon onto the evening with my two other besties, then met with my siblings and their kids for dinner. But all of that fun and good times doesn't compare to 5 mins on the phone with homeboy 🥺🥺💔. I love my friends with my whole heart, I adore my brother and my niece and nephews, I'd give a kidney for them but sübhanallah, the love Allah puts in your heart for your spouse >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Allahuma barik 🥹🥹

oh wow so now they're just making shit up very transparently now. we are in that stage. got it. just kicking members of the parliament out of the office for ummm. well. no reason other than them being part of the opposition. right.

literally left my house bcs i was psychotic (or abused idk i cant tell bcs im still currently psychotic and abused.) january 2022 and convinced myself my ex would swing in again and be my knight in shining armour. its been 2 years and he hasnt budged a bit (obviously). NOW i leave the house to drink and do drugs and meet people. (and to leave the confines that is my mothers embrace)

having a weird day y'all 🥶