i’m actually so grateful that whenever there’s been something wrong with me or whenever there’s been something missing, i’ve always just turned to isolation and i’ve always counted on me to let myself feel what i feel, to think things through and figure shit out on my own, instead of turning to someone else for that. and i don’t mean not asking for help because that’s totally okay, but in the sense of not looking for someone else to fill what’s missing in me, or to distract myself from my own thoughts and feelings. i’ve never tried to use anybody to fill emotional gaps within me and i’ve learned to enjoy and value my own company, and i’ve truly learned how to be alone, how to be alone and well and whole and not desperately looking for someone else to ease the pain.
There is someone out there who will take you on dates, spend hours decorating the house with you, cook dinner, clean after themselves, and actually ENJOY your presence.
Mom & I talking about sister’s big relationship drama
Me: well I would have thrown him away about thirty times already but you can’t really talk to me about him (men in general)
My mom: and that’s why you’re single (her tone was a tad offensive lol)
Me smirking: exactly cause I have extremely high standards and won’t settle
Funny part is my mom told me all the time during my teen years that I won’t find a boyfriend if I keep up the standards I had back then (those standards were very much about fictional characters but that’s neither here nor there) and it’s hilarious that this is still true in my mid twenties and I’m extremely happy about it. Not that I want a boyfriend but the high standards part though now they‘re less fictional.
Granted the aroace stuff certainly plays a big factor in this but my mom is so terrible with her relationships every time someone tells me „your standards are to high“ I get happier cause I know I’m worth it and I’m so happy alone the person who wants to share in my presence really has to be special