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angst-fairygodmother · 3 years

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Light Fingers (The Umbrella Academy)

Diego’s vigilantism brings him repeatedly across the path of a young cat burglar. But as he finds himself developing feelings for the thief, he begins to wonder if there’s more to her than meets the eye, and whether they’re really on opposite sides. And as their relationship deepens, it brings with it a plot involving his estranged adopted father, and threatens to destroy all of them.

EPILOGUE: A HOUSE DIVIDED

Word Count: 1451 Pairing: Diego Hargreeves x Reader Rating: T Content Warnings: swearing, references to violence (canon-typical), heavy angst Cross-posted to AO3: here

Previous Chapter: Darkness Falls || Masterlist

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has stuck by me, read, reblogged, commented, messaged. I don’t know where I’d be without all of you (probably still back at chapter 3). While this is the end of Light Fingers, it is not the end of the story. I just need to take a little time and approach canon with care.

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A week of radio silence followed that night. As the days went by, you tried your best to return to your normal, to waiting tables and bantering with kitchen staff and trying to pretend you weren’t holding yourself together by a thread.

Something immediately felt off as you entered the apartment one night after a double shift and dropped your keys by the door. Conjuring enough light to see and no more, you began creeping through the room. It didn't take long to see that all of Diego's things were gone - except Duncan, the dog snoozing blissfully on the couch. You weren’t surprised. After all, if he’d wanted to put things back together, or thought you could, he would have reached out before now. So instead he had quickly and quietly removed his presence from your apartment, and very likely walked out of your life without a word. The thought stung, that for all you had intertwined your lives, he was still able to remove himself in a day.

The light on your answering machine was blinking, and numbly you hit the button and listened to Patch’s message.

“Thank you for finally returning my call,” Eudora said exasperatedly, as she took a seat across from you in the little cafe the following Sunday.

“Sorry Dora,” you offered her a sheepish and regretful half-smile. “I haven’t really felt like seeing anyone lately. Besides, I didn’t want to put you in an awkward place. I know you and Diego were, are…”

“Close? The three of us all were. Why do you think I’ve been trying to reach you?”

You looked down, tracing the wood grains of the tabletop. “There’s no fixing this one, Dora. We’re...too far gone.”

“How? You two were good for each other. A blind man could see it.”

“Irreconcilable differences.”

“We both know that’s bullshit, Y/N.”

“I...made a choice. One Diego couldn’t agree with. We fought about it. And when he decided to walk out, I not only let him, I practically packed his bags. And in the end it turned out to be pointless anyway.”

Yesterday’s paper had contained an article about how the investigation into Reginald had been dropped for lack of foundation, and he’d been able to collect a substantial insurance payout for the warehouse, and the feds had offered an official statement of apology on top of everything else. You had scared a local alley cat with the tantrum that had followed reading that. Because of course, trying to take him down had cost you everything and he’d still won in the end. How else could it have gone?

“Why do I bother,” Eudora sighed with a frustrated gesture. “I should have known you’d be just as cryptic as he was.”

“It’s complicated, Dora, so it’s easier than trying to explain and sounding completely nuts. I wish I could tell you. But the details don’t really matter, just that I fucked up, big time, and I can’t undo it.”

She reached across the table to take one of your fidgeting hands in her own. “Y/N. Listen to me. I know you and I know Diego. It’s not too late for the two of you. I can tell how much you both still care.”

“It’s not about that,” you struggled to keep back your tears. “We just weren’t meant to be. Forcing it will only break things worse.”

You winced, the words sounding harsh and a little bit fake. But they were true, or at least that’s what you wanted to convince yourself of so that you could move on.

“Besides, he came by when I was at work and took all his stuff. Doesn’t that pretty much scream final?”

“I’ve talked to him, Y/N. I’ve seen him. He’s really messed up. And I don't think he's eating much or sleeping at all if I'm being honest.”

“Why are you telling me this?” your voice trembled, heart breaking with every word.

“You could find him, probably at the Lion,” she fixed you with a look and tilted her head to one side. “You could talk to him.”

You shook your head. “There's nothing left to say.”

“You're really giving up that easily?”

You wanted to scream, or to somehow explain that it was anything but easy. But that it was the right thing to do. For Diego’s sake. He, and she, would understand someday, you had to believe that.

“Eudora, please.”

“Fine. If neither of you is going to fight for this, I guess I should just deliver you his message.”

Despite yourself, your heart leapt at the idea Diego actually had something left to say. And then it plummeted a moment later when you realized that whatever it was, he couldn’t say himself, he had to ask your mutual best friend to do it for him.

“I’m sorry, that you’re stuck in the middle. You don’t...have to be our carrier pigeon. If you don’t want to,” you said sheepishly, shrugging slightly.

“If I don’t, you wouldn’t communicate at all.”

“That might--”

“If you say it’s for the best, I will walk out,” Eudora snapped, making you reel back in shock. “I hate the cryptic non-answers, but at least it’s not full-on lying to me. So don’t start.”

You swallowed down whatever you were going to say and sighed. “You said you had a message from Diego?”

“He asked me to give you these,” she laid a set of keys on the table. “Said the apartment was your home and he’d never dream of trying to take it in whatever divorce papers you end up filing. And that he picked up his things, which I know you saw. Anything he left behind, he said, is not important.”

You looked down at the keys, letting some of the tears you’d fought so hard against fall.

‘He left me behind,’ you wanted to say. ‘He left us.’ But that wouldn’t be fair, or help anything, so you bit your tongue.

“Y/N,” she sounded apologetic but you could tell she no more knew the words to say than you did. Instead after a moment, she carried on. “He also said that a gym is no place for a boxer, which I think was him trying to make a joke, and that at least if you keep Duncan, he’ll know there’s someone watching your back and making sure you come home.”

You couldn’t help your snort of disbelief or the bitter tone of your response. “As if I’m the one to worry about there, not him with his stupid vigilante crime-fighting bullshit. I only ever got involved in that because of him, for him.” Somehow, that was the thing that opened the floodgates and you began to cry in earnest. “Fuck, Dora. He’s going to get himself killed someday.”

She reached over to take your hand again, giving it a comforting squeeze. Silence reigned over you for a few minutes, while she let you cry it out and offered you quiet support.

“He won’t,” she said, eventually. “We both know he’s careful, and insanely lucky. And…” she sighed, rolling her eyes. “I’m not going to leave him completely on his own. I’m in line for an early promotion, and then I’ll be able to have people looking out for him.”

You offered her a watery smile, almost laughing. “I don’t know what I’d do, or either of us would, without you.”

She shrugged. “Good thing you won’t ever find out.”

The rest of the conversation flowed naturally, as it always did, or nearly so. After a few stinted failures to start, you carried on as if it was any other coffee date. As you were paying your bills, the light caught the silver band still on your finger. You bit your lip, slowly sliding it off, its weight heavy in your palm despite how slim, how small it was.

“Eudora, can I ask one more favor?” you asked hesitantly.

“Of course, Y/N. What are friends for?” she said, offering you a smile.

You held the ring out to her. “Can you give this to Diego for me? And tell him that I’m sorry. And I still love him. No, actually, don’t tell him that. Just...that he should have this back, and I hope that maybe someday, I can be the person he saw who deserved it. Or something like that. I don’t know. It sounds stupid, doesn’t it?” You shook your head, swiping at more tears that were threatening to spill.

She flashed you a sympathetic half-smile. “I’ll give him your message.”

Your fingers shook as you passed the ring over to her, a heavy weight of true finality settling over you.

#The End #for added angst listen to 'Erased' by Vixy and Tony #seriously though #I know this ends on a sad note but it's only...season 0 and we'll get to 1 and 2.#not that things will be totally rosy there either #Light Fingers #Diego Hargreeves x reader #The Umbrella Academy fic

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skypxllar · 2 years

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[OOC] Reflection

Oh goodness it's been so long since I posted on this blog. It's kind of weird to make a follow-up post over a year after you make such a grande post announcing your departure. Heck, I haven't even re-read the whole thing in a long time.

Wait. Hold on. Let me just....

Ah. That’s much better. Name’s Skye now btw. Don’t go by Bagon anymore.

Anyway, I know that there are people around that may know some of this, especially the few people I kept in contact with, but I wanted to make an official post clearing the air about what's been going on and maybe giving an update on my life. It’s a little long so I’ll post it under a READ MORE.

Since leaving this blog behind, I've moved to a suburb (and soon to move back to my hometown) and started working nights at my job. In addition, my life has drastically slowed down, giving me the time to work on my mental health and rediscover who I am, what I want from life, and what I want to do with myself. I've taken a back look at my past, my hobbies, my sexuality. I've come out to my family and friends as ace/aro. I've taken up drawing and music and streaming Genshin Impact and some *slight* game development recently. Most notably, I've taken the time to... just take my time. I've been on such a rapid pace and tight schedule for so much of my life that everything feels like a roller coaster. I'm not going to bore you with my life's story (plus, I think a good chunk of people know it already), but since joining the RPC in May 2016, I've gone through and dropped out of college, was forced to endure living with my abusive mother until she kicked me out, and then go from relying on a friend to prevent from being homeless to being fortunate enough to find a job and comfortably live on my own (and then with a few friends in a suburb somewhere).

Last year when I left tumblr, I was depressed, unsatisfied with my life, and just desperately let life pass me by. Now, since taking the time for myself, talking with a therapist, slowing down my life, and picking up a hobby or two, I think I can proudly say that I’m, at the very least, going in the right direction again. My friends (both close and long-distance) all care about me. I have a small idea of what I want for myself. I have a plan in place. And I’m back to enjoying my hobbies. It’s honestly so refreshing to know that I went from nearly in a mental gridlock to my current state in just a year, and I hope it only gets better from here on out.

When it comes to Tumblr, I felt so trapped. Being on this blog was fun, but it was stressful. This is going to sound weird honestly, but ever since my first year here, I felt so overwhelmed here. I would say one thing as a joke or an aside, and suddenly I would get several messages from others (mutuals, friends, non-mutuals, etc.) commenting about it at once. While this was fun every here and there, sometimes it became a little too much and caused me to stress out in the very place that I was supposed to enjoy myself. I still remember back when I got asks accusing my muses of terrible things that would cause me to freak out, or when I tried to appease certain people, only to have them harass my friends and try to drag me into plotting some uh... not great things with my muses (I swear. It’s always Zinnia that gets dragged into this lmao) or when I made a Cynthia blog for self-confirmation that people aren’t just talking to me because I was “popular” or whatever. I remember the “Nazi Cynthia” incident that caused me a panic attack. I remember those times that I would make a random, silly comment before bed, only to feel the need to stay awake as 5-10 people would message me commenting about it or replying to it. Needless to say, I didn’t have a healthy relationship with this site and it was only fueling my feeling of being lost and trapped in my life, so I left (you can probably go back and read my goodbye post if you want the full, unfiltered feelings on the matter though).

I want to thank you all for the several years that we’ve spent together. I know my departure was sudden and that I said that I would never return, but a year of change prompted me to reflect. I know that I’ve confused or pissed off several of you with my actions from a year ago, and, to that I have two things to say: firstly, I’m sorry that I had chosen to cut you off. You deserved better than what I had done and I should have communicated with you in a healthier manner. That being said, I don’t expect you to forgive me, nor do I want things to go back to the way things once were. At risk of vagueposting, there are some people that I cut off like that for a reason, and I know that going back to them will only either inflict main onto me or tempt them to try to drag me back in the cycle that I worked so hard to get out of.

Anyway, all of this is to say that I’ve changed for the better and that I want to thank you all for everything that you guys have done for me. If you read this far, thank you so much for hearing me out. It really means a lot.

Now, let’s get to the final task at hand: this blog. Because of the associations with this blog and some fears of mine, I’m afraid that I’m going to continue to archive this blog. I don’t think I can return here anymore without thinking of the pain and suffering or the risk of falling into old habits.

So, am I going to be on Tumblr at all then? Well, I’ve actually made a new blog 6 months ago. You can find it here: https://mxstball.tumblr.com/ (I can’t @ my own blog lmao). This blog still features all of the fun kids that you are familiar with, and I’m even continuing to plot there. Feel free to stop by and follow if you wish to see me, but just know that I may be a bit more slow to follow than before. I’ve been loving the feeling of being small to the point where I debated even linking it in the first place.

As for anywhere else? Well, here are some things:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/SkyeTrickster Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/skyetrickster Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/sky-trickster Itch.io: https://skyetrickster.itch.io/

I do have a Discord as well, but I’m not as keen to post it here, y’know? If you want that, dm me either here or on mxstball.

I’ll pop online here every day for a few days in case someone wants to message me and ask something, but otherwise, I hope you guys have a wonderful day and I hope you have a good life.

#ooc #mod #out of dragons #updates #blog updates #//insert comment about 'last post? lol'#//this is mostly posted for closure for myself #//but if anyone wants to talk then feel free to.#//there are a few people that I need to reach out to anyway

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onf-headcanons · 3 years

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Another OFFICE AU aka CEO AU

A/n : Alas its not draft clearing but a brand new work for 2021 (but i still have some drafts as well)XD Hello, did any of you remember an idea dump I dropped for last year Christmas? you could easily guess which was it by tallying the mood board with the idea lists (*winks)

Setting :

1. OFFICE AU 2 , it is a brand new one where ONF member is a young CEO while you are his secretary. So I will name this one as CEO AU

Of course it does not hurt should you wanna imagine it as the already exist office au, using the idea dump posted for 2020 Christmas.

2. ONF MEMBER that I will integrate would be Hyojin and Seungjun as mentioned during the Christmas post, but I wont stop you for imagining other members, thats why in headcanons I will use ONF MEMBER instead their names. (For member X reader scenario)

3. In this headcanon, reader is slightly older than ONF member, maybe 2 or 3 years older. Same age is plausible, then it would be ONF member continued their studies further so they started working late.

ok lets go, beware its long and sorry if it is messy I tried my best to control 2 way storyline, I had fun writing but I know I am lacking much much more than I could notice. total 6k word count (dies)

1-1

• You work as assistant/secretary for the head of department/CEO in company before the young successor joins and his predecessor retires. • Because you tend to separate work life and private life, you established personality to look like ice queen on the outside (reality) but actually passionate carer on the inside (virtually). None of your colleagues knew, only your close friends • You have been using a chat app (not tinder type) for since you started intern, • 1. That app's specialty was anonymous. • 2. Its like a hideout spot where you can share and post whatever you love. (Because there are some co-workers added your FB or Insta and you felt it is a hassle to create another fake account exclusively to add people) • 3. Even though you tried and failed at 1 or 2 virtual relationships with other users, you never despise the thought of online dating. But you do know it’s not realistic so you never take it too seriously (it is also self-protection) • You would post some photos but mostly are just lunch pics, occasionally an outdoor view from your office floor, also some cute stationaries or accessories found on the way back home. (Just adding this trivia for fun linking the universe, maybe you pass by Minkyun’s flower shop as well?) • (It will be funny if your contents was more on sharing random idol pics that you follow, passionately promoting it hence creating a more impact contrast later when revealing) • One day you came across a post asking about what kind of cologne to buy for a predecessor who will be retiring. Being a good Samaritan, you leave a few suggestions under the post and did not really take it to heart, you forgot about it once you see the original author replied "Thanks" • Not knowing that 1 interaction would change your life forever.

1-2 • The next day, your superior announced his retirement and mentioned a young successor will join the company next month. And ONF member being the young successor does make rumors flying around the company, making people questioning his ability as he is related to company board of directors. The department you are in is under top 5 sales/profit bringing, so with a young successor would be inexperienced which might lead to drop of department reputation of course people are going to worry and gossip. • First impression with ONF member is actually ok. Well dressed, good looking and nice manners. The moment he followed his predecessor walks into the office floor, girls starts to make all sorts of gasping noises (lol) • Your superior mentioned that he bought a retirement gift for your superior deep down you approved at the selection of the cologne brand. • You might goes, this guy got sense, not bad. • One night after several days ONF member joined the department/company, you received a PM from a user, thanking you for the cologne recommendation. It took you a while to remember who it was. You politely replied him “You are welcome.” • The user also nonchalantly asked about how you can make such suggestion that pinpoints because by the glance at your profile, first impression could be very much misleading. • You just replied that you happened to know someone at that age who likes that type of scent hence the list of suggestions, what you did was just you taking the liberty to do a lucky guess. • Out of curiosity, you tap at the stranger’s avatar to get a glimpse of his profile, but out of your disappointment, there were no picture of his to know what he looks like. But there are pictures of scenery from places he travelled. • You also noticed that their “joined the app” days are way lesser than you are, quite a new user. • You found a few pictures of places you went before/ places that you want to go. Delighted, you started the conversation asking if he likes travelling and his next travel plans. • The other party replied briefly his plans and his experience during travels, from his words you know that he won’t be travelling overseas for the next 2 years as he had a new job and responsibility to learn. Instead he will be focusing on doing domestic travels. • His words made you reminisce your rookie days and you responded him that you understand him with empathy. You did not pry further but you do give him some encouragement, telling him that things will get better and once he got the hang of it, he will have more time on his own. (Yup at the moment you are thinking he is a freshman or newbie joining new company) • You timidly ask your new chat friend why they decided to join and use the app. He replied, “I don’t really play social media apps and I don’t want anyone to find me online, the anonymous system this app provides mental security for me.” • The reply was so different from those who are playing the app just for flirting and finding a quick date, you replied him, “Same as you.” • The conversation ends by the other party mentions he will need to be early for work and politely wishes you good night. The next morning you found the stranger has added you as friend, without any thoughts you tap on your screen and now you have a new mutual.

1-3 • Back to office, as ONF member is still new towards his scope of work, you would sometimes giving him advise and guides by sharing “What would his predecessor does.” or “What he can do by not violating company policy”. He takes advises well and would always inquire for your suggestion before making any critical decision. • Once he started to get the hang of it, you passed the torch of freedom to him because you are only a secretary/assistant. But he will still come to you, which you felt he was being dependent. (I feel if it is Minkyun, he will be more dependent should the scope of work is totally unfamiliar to him. Tendency of dependent to independent would be Seungjun, Hyojin, Yuto same par as Jaeyoung, Changyoon then Minkyun.) • (Of course sometimes there are some doubt raised regarding to policies and because he sees things in another perspective, you know he meant no harm but sometimes you wish he would just shut up and just follow the policy just for convenience sake+lessen damage. That’s because should any dissatisfaction of decision happens, colleagues will firstly come to interrogate you, hoping you to twist his decision or questioning your ability to lessen the damage done towards merit they/the department holds. AND YOU HATE PLAYING THOSE POWER MIND GAMES, even though the image you impose looked like you are skilled player.) • So there is some sense that being strict is you are trying hard to protect him and protecting yourself. • BTW ONF member, your new superior has a bright personality unlike his predecessor (huge reason is due to the age factor), even though inexperienced in work, he has good be friending skills. So people in the department felt it was less stressful working under him because he would do small talk with his underlings. (This hc is not suitable for Changyoon and Yuto during the beginning, due to their personality they would try but not suddenly initiating small talks on the first week joining.) • IT WILL BE FUNNY IF SOME FEMALE COLLEAGUE TOOK PITY ON HIM BY MENTIONING/GOSSIPING THAT YOU ARE TOO STRICT AGAINST HIM • Its not that you hate him or he does not have the ability to do his work, it’s just when he is standing on the opposing side against company policy it troubles you. • Every time when things like this happens, you would low-key complains by posting status on the chat app, mentioning you don’t hope for an understanding but you would hope those who are not in your shoes would shut up. Your mutuals mostly are office workers as well so resonates with your words. • Your new friend leaves a comment underneath the post you asking if you are doing alright, and hope you do not stress yourself too much. You thanked him for the mental support. • He will even PM you asking if you are doing alright, most of the time you don’t want to lose your cool plus you don’t think it is wise to abruptly rant towards a stranger as if they are emotional sandbag, so you will politely thank him and say that you are alright now. • Since you and your new friend work on the day, you two chat during the night and weekend, getting to know each other in a very casual pace. A bit of child hood and you both also shared your majors in studies. He told you that he used to study at overseas and he picked up hobby of travelling around a bit during those days. • You never turn on the app during lunch (to avoid people finding out) but your new friend does send you some messages during lunchtime. • As you and the new friend get to know each other, there has a few things in common, you two like talking about travels and you two read works by the same author • By the way the new friend is a he. You two are using ID names the whole time during chatting, because you have told him that you are not comfortable giving and knowing each other’s real name. He understands and respects that. • And you confirmed that he is slightly younger than you. Which you replied to him, “Oh my superior is same age as you.” • This new friend gives you a calm and mature vibe even though he is same age as your new superior. You could not help yourself but comparing. • The other party goes: “Wow, he must be a very successfully accomplished youngster.” • You go: “Nah, other than his outgoing personality that brings freshness to the department, he still got lots to learn.” • Your new friend then continues, “Your new superior is a lucky one, I can confidently say that because I have an excellent senior who would always look out for me.” • You respond, “Then you better treat them well.” • And he goes “Of course.”

1-4

• Work is as usual, possible you unintentionally eavesdropping and caught ONF member saying towards you (even better backing you up when some junior colleagues are reverse gossiping about you) : You know, Y/N might look cold and stern sometimes but actually a kind and gentle person. Y/N would always give out advice for the sake of the department/ company. • Cues you would fluster a bit by those words. • A few days later you are done briefing your superior their schedule. And ONF member suddenly ask if you are free for dinner. It’s already his 4th month in the company and wanted to properly thank you for guiding him with patience and prudence. • At first you wanted to decline him because you don’t want to deal with work related stuff after office hours, ALSO you don’t want anyone to start weird gossips. • Another reason is you don’t want to talk about yourself too much in front of your superior. Heck you even avoid your colleague’s invitations for dinner because you value your “me time” very much. • But looking at his anticipating face, you got soft and agreed that a coffee would suffice. ONF member smiles at you suggest both of you to have coffee right now at Starbucks next to your company building. You are free to choose whatever drink you like. • Before both of you leave the room. And then you heard a familiar notification sound, you thought your heart is going to stop, that is the notification sound from the chat app you are using. You did not have your phone with you so it was obvious the sound comes from ONF member’s phone. • And that was a notification alert of the system has found someone nearby and presented to the user. It got you curious and worried at the same time. • At Starbucks, ONF member had to answer a call, so you ordered his drink as well. • Later you see him start replying messages while waiting for orders to be done. You wanted to have a peek at his user name but you are a few steps away and your instinct told you better don’t do that. What if it is already someone you already know? • “Curiosity killed the cat, remember?” You tell yourself. • Once you are at your desk, you took some deep breath to calm yourself and try to remember if you recalled wrongly but truth is you are accurate. You hurriedly checked you phone, there were no new messages and you are sure you have turned off location visibility. Lucky for you it was never turned on to begin with. • You also kind of worried if your superior actually has a “fun” lifestyle after office hours. But, it’s hard to relate him to a playboy image when he looked like a friendly good boy. You shake your head and deny yourself. • “If (ONF member name) uses that app then I will need to be more careful.” you thought while sipping the frappe. So back at home, you started to alter all posts’ visibility to “Visible for mutuals only”. Took you nearly a whole night but better safe than sorry.

1-5 • More weeks pass by peacefully but one day a conflict happened between you and ONF member and some colleagues/minor members of the board. He went ahead to announce that he decides (had a thought) to run a campaign/new rule (maybe a budget cut). The moment he finished his sentences, you know the seniors will not be happy with it. • Later after meeting, you politely confront with ONF member that he should discuss with you before announcing it on meeting. Plus, announcing without any advance preparation will put him and you in an awkward position as verbal announcement are not persuasive enough. Of course you are also worried that people might use this issue to tackle and exploit the cons of both of you being inexperience and young. • “With all due my respect, Mr.(ONF member name), it will be nice if you could discuss with me before dropping that bomb at the meeting.” you try not to sound fierce but your tone clearly does not sound you are cool with his actions at all. • “And later having you lecture me and stop me? You do know it was for the good of the company too right?” He retorts like usual • “Yes but no.” you try to fight back. “ It’s not that easy, there are people need to be dealt with and I don’t think you--” • Before you could finish, ONF member says with an eyebrow raised, “You don’t think I can handle it, because I am still unexperienced.” • You unconsciously frown and thinking, why is he suddenly trying to pick a fight deliberately today? Why is he suddenly trying to piss off seniors in the department/company? • ONF member then with firm tone, gives you suggestion, “Should you have anyone come to you and complain, tell them that you knew nothing at all and request them to talk to me directly instead.” • “I am the CEO, not you.” He adds. • You could not help but sigh, knowing there is not point arguing because he is not going to back down. And deep down you do know the new rule/budget cut will do more merit than harm. (Your focus is more on how deal with seniors employees not him for now because seniors are more pain in the ass compared to him) • But still there are people come to you and bug you while you are working and you can’t tell them to leave you alone hence it stresses you out. • You escape to the bathroom taking your phone with you and vents out at the app by posting a status mentioning you are just trying to do your job and wants a peaceful work days. • You also come across seeing your new friend posting a status prior your meeting time, it’s a photo of frappe you recommended him to try it out. He is thanking you for recommending it. • You could not help but feeling a bit jealous, should your title and work scopes are different/ should you are just normal employee rather than a CEO’s secretary, you might not need to face these kind of stress. • “Guess you have to bear what you signed up for huh?” you thought to yourself after 15 minutes cooling yourself down. • You switched your mind set and step out from bathroom. Returning to your place with your usual ice cold face. You are trying hard not to show that you are weak against stress. You are too immersed at people coming at you asking you questions, without knowing ONF member actually observing you with concerned gaze from his room. • That night, you receive a PM from your new friend asking if you are doing ok, as you never sound that upset before. He said he can lent an ear so you can tell him what happened. You spare him all the intricate details and tell him briefly that your superior made a mess and you need to clean it up also back his plan no matter you like it or not. • The whole progress he did not interrupt you nor tried to tell you what you should do, he let you type all the way until you finished. Once you are done, you asked, “I don’t know what might be up in his sleeves that it’s inconvenient for me to know beforehand but... Isn’t he a jerk, putting me into an awkward situation?” • Your friend backs you up and agrees with you that matters should be discussed, and critiques your superior actually could trust you more. • You thanked your friend for letting you to rant and mentioned you have accepted the fate because of the title and responsibility you hold in the company. That’s being professional and mature in office. • The other party replied that even if that is the case, he hope you don’t stresses yourself too much as it seems your new superior still needs your guidance and support. • You playfully replies, “Well I am not his babysitter XD, he will need to face a lot of issues by his own someday.” • “Why is that?” • “Well I can’t always be by his side though? I might get married and resign.” you reveal your future plans to your new friend, “Moreover, even I don’t resign, I might take pregnancy leave though?” • The other party comments, “I never thought you had that planned out.” • And he continues, “Your profile gives out the ‘I love my job so much.’ vibe” • You then back up your point by saying you do want that plan to work but too bad you are single now, so of course you are going to focus on your job more. Plus, you do not plan to find a partner in work place anyways. • The new friend leaves more supportive words and hoping it will cheer you up. By the end of the conversation, he also offers that you can come to him and rant should you need an ear. • You grin at his words and felt warm towards his actions. Rarely any of your mutual actually PM to check up on you. “Maybe he was just being nice.” you thought before you wish him good night.

1-6 • The next day, you are being summoned by your superior the first thing in the morning. He passes you a pile of documents and requests you to go through it. It a proposal regarding to the budget cut/new rule and he hope you can be his ally. His gaze is not as firm as yesterday, but it’s more of seeking approval and acknowledgement from you. • You let out a sigh and mutters, “You know, should you have hand this to me beforehand the situation won’t be that ugly.” And then you start to flip the pages. • “Sorry.” He apologizes. “But I really want to make it work. It’s also a handover work by my predecessor.” • “You look up upon him too much, ONF member, he is a sly fox just like the other seniors.” You do not mean to back stab but you are telling the truth. “Has it never come to your mind why he did not initiate the plan when he is here and requested you to initiate it when he is gone?” • “I know. But this move is going to benefit the company; I am willing to bear responsibility.” ONF member adds • You stop reading and look at your superior in the eye, “You better hope this work though, I don’t want my 5 months effort of guiding you goes to waste. And I hate the idea that I need to re- adjust my pace with a new superior.” • ONF member gets your intentions behind your words; he swiftly stands up from his chair and thanked you. “I owe you big one, Y/N. Another cup of coffee to thank you for reals?” • “No thanks, I will be busy. Next time.” You feel uncomfortable because the social distance between you two seems shortened, so you politely decline. • Luckily the whole budget cut/new rule policy worked out fine and by year end, benefits shows. You and ONF member can finally relax a bit knowing that you both have won the fight.

1-7 • Meanwhile, you did not stop interacting with your recent favourite friend. As you two got to know each other even more, both of you chat almost every day during the night. He never bores you and he can understand most of the topic you bring up. You are amazed that how can someone has so many things in common? • It spikes your curiosity and you ask him if a wonderful person like him has a partner in real life. He answers you that he is single, just like you are. • (You thought he is lying because he is such a nice guy, but of course you do tell yourself not to 100 percent trust everyone online) • Then he asks your opinion about online virtual dating. You honestly told him about your experience. But you added that even though you failed twice/thrice, you are not against it. • And that moment, you don’t know what has gotten into you, you playfully type, “You are asking my opinion on that as if you are preparing yourself” • “Prepare for what?” he asks • “To get yourself an online girlfriend.” You reply. • His respond reads, “Yes I am.” • “That’s wonderful. That girl you will be confessing is a lucky one.” • “Yea, indeed you are.” • You pause for a moment when you saw the message. • “Wait, you serious? ME??” you quickly send him the message because you thought should you hesitate longer, the mood will turn awkward. • He replies you by sending you a heart emoji. • You give a quick thought, well it is interesting chatting with him and he does seem nice. Plus, it’s online anyway, you could call it off should he becomes toxic and annoying like your previous experiences. • “I wasn’t sure if you are ok with someone like me. “He continues. “I am fine if you want to call it off should you found someone in real life later on.” • “Don’t be silly, that should be my line.” You retort him. • And then you have it, another secret. You have an online boyfriend now. You both even declared each other as a pair of soulmate publicly on the app. But you two did not exchange selfies, keeping the relationship virtual and anonymous. • However you two always share interesting stuffs happen on daily. New book, new cd, a random shot of a puppy or cat you met on the street. • Also before year end, you overheard girl colleagues gossiping about your superior has a girlfriend now; you are not interested at his private life so you just let it slide. • But you did briefly mention it to your boyfriend. Not in a gossip tone, more of a life update share. • Of course there are some girl colleagues that are ok with you comes to you, hoping you leak some information about ONF member’s rumoured girlfriend. But of course you know nothing at all, leaving them with disappointed answer. • Fast forward to the week before Valentine’s Day. It is also 10th month since ONF member joins the company. • Out of the sudden, your online boyfriend suggests you two to meet up. You are not against it, and it’s not like you never met anyone you know from the app. Thinking why not knowing a new friend in real life, you agreed his offer. (Also because you are curious what he looks like so that you can understand why he was single before dating you) • You even inquired his preference in chocolate and promise bringing him some on official first date. • Your boyfriend thanks you and suggests a place for dinner. You knew that place, it’s expensive and you could not help but wondering if he is trying hard to match you. (You still thinks he is just a normal employee in a company) • But, your boyfriend only replies: “Don’t worry, it is the perfect spot, I could not think of others that are suitable to our taste.” • You can only acknowledge it because you don’t want to have an argument to blow up but deep down you could not help yourself to start doubting again. • “It’s going to be Ok, right?” you question your decision, but it’s too late.

1-8 • On Valentine’s Day, younger female colleagues in your office give out chocolate treats to younger male colleagues as friendship presents, some of course using the occasion to confess. • You don’t have the habit of presenting chocolate treats as a token of friendship appreciation at the office. But you are giving your date chocolate treat later; you hid yours in your bag carefully scared of being teased should anyone saw it. • ONF member gets some too. One female colleague even teases him if he is going to get chocolate from his girlfriend. And ONF member replies that he might get it later that night. • Of course ONF member will asks you for chocolate treat with an innocent face, you just bluntly tell him that you don’t have the habit to give out chocolate treats, he only pouts after listening to your respond. • By the way today you unintentionally changed your makeup (lipstick or eyeshadow). No one dared to make any comments but not your superior, ONF member. • He goes: “Y/N ah? Did something good happen on you? Are you going to a date tonight?” • You are typing quick report and his words caught you off guard. You flinched at his words. Hoping ONF member did not notice, you quickly lied by telling him simply ran out of your usual makeup colour. • But your superior teases you a bit, “Aww, I was hoping I could attend your wedding in near future. “ • You have gotten used to his socializing pattern, so you counter him by asking if he is going to bring his girlfriend to have a nice dinner at a grand restaurant. • And to your surprise, he revealed the place he will be having dinner with his partner. It’s the same place where you are heading to later. He had a special room booked exclusively for tonight’s date. • “Oh, Oh… Have fun and enjoy your dinner.” You force yourself to break a smile. • ONF member only smirks at you and gives you a few pats on your shoulders and says he will have an unforgettable night before returning to his room. Leaving you questioning the meaning of his actions that are unpredictable but also definitely intentional. • Of course you had a quick thought asking your boyfriend if it is possible to change location, you could not bring yourself to ask as you are worried you might sound rude/arrogant trying to change plans on the last minute. You deduced that since ONF member will be having dinner in a room, you might not going to bump into him. You and your boyfriend can just finish dinner quickly. • You could not have that bother you too much time because you need to finish your report so that you can leave on time. Once it reaches the end of office hours, the others started to leave. You made up a plan to leave after ONF member leaves the office. You keep raising your gaze to have a slight peek towards your superior’s room. • Seeing him finally standing up from his chair and adjusting his suit. You can tell he is finally leaving. He passes through your desk and asks, “Y/N ah, please don’t tell me you are planning to work overtime during this special day?” • You only smiles and tell him you are going to finish soon, “Don’t you have a dinner to attend?” you remind him without looking at him, acting as if you are typing the remaining contents of your report. • “Yea I do. See ya.” ONF member waves you goodbye. • You leave the office after 10 minutes. (As for method of transport to the restaurant, I will leave it to your choice.)

1-9 • You reach the building of the restaurant. You let out a sigh, hesitating to step in nonchalantly knowing ONF member is inside there as well. The least thing you definitely do not want to happen is ONF member finding you having a dinner date tonight. It’s embarrassing and it will break the balance of your work and private life. • While you are pacing in front of the building with hesitation, you receive a chat notification from the app. You open it and it was your boyfriend, notifying you that he has arrived, and he reminds you the restaurant located at 38th floor. • You nervously bite your lower lip knowing it’s too late and it is rude of you to cancel the date on last minute. He was a decent person to chat with and you don’t want to lose a good friend. You are blaming yourself for agreeing to attend this date too casually. And you also find yourself way too wary of your virtual boyfriend’s thoughts towards you should you now called him to cancel the date. • Then you heard a familiar voice called out your name and you turn your head towards the voice unconsciously. It’s ONF member, walking out from the building. You flustered and panicked by just imagining scenarios of him asking why you are here and other many more questions. • “OMG…. Shit shit shit….!” You cursed in your head, regretting your life decisions. Recalling the entire chat context between you two, this might be the worst thing ever to happen in your life. • He is grinning while reaching out to grasp your hand. You unintentionally try to back away from him but he was faster. You tried to pull your hand away but he pulls you toward him instead. You nearly bumped towards his chest. • “Y/N ah, I told you its 38th floor; you did not get my message?” ONF member asks as his smirks widens. • As he finished his words, you only look at the young guy in front of you with disbelief, processing his words. Seeing you froze due to the big plot twist, ONF member taps you on your forehead hoping to unfreeze you. • “It can’t be…You are (ONF member’s ID in the app)?! “You exclaim. • “Yeap.” He responds. • “Impossible…How?” you ask. “How did you know it was me?” • “At first I had my doubt when I first saw an old post of yours. You shot a sunset pic from our office floor by the window near the lift right?” he returns with another question. And man he is good at remembering details. • “Then I confirmed that it was you by the time I announced budget cut/new rules for the company/department. ” he explains • “I…” You could not bring yourself to say anything, but you are not an idiot, “(ONF member name), did you risked your reputation in the company just to find out a stranger’s real identity?” • “No, I did not, I swear. I initiated the plan to suddenly announce the budget cut because I want to find out which board seniors will make a move to cover up themselves, as requested from my predecessor.” He knows you well to sense that you are angry, and he quickly denied. “I only know it was you when I checked up on you. Since then I have been dropping so many hints for you to realize, but it seems like you are the dense one here.” • You can tell he is telling the truth. • “This is absurd…” you mutter while placing your hand on your forehead. • ONF member let out a sigh and he shifts behind you, places his hands on your shoulders then pushes you forward. “Come on, I am starving we can talk about it later, you did not had a decent meal during lunch as well right?” • He is right, you only had a mini croissant during lunchtime.

• You follow him without a word to the entrance of the building and enter the lift to 38th floor. ONF member has booked a nice room that both of you can enjoy the city’s night view.

1-10 • It was a luxurious dinner but you are not in the mood enjoying it. In fact you are so stressed that you could not even taste your food. You did not touch your dessert at all. • You only quietly trace the shape of wine glass in front of you while looking at the night view, hoping the night to pass quickly. • “You are not happy with me being your date, Y/N?” he suddenly asks. • You jolted and you finally look at him in the eye for the first time tonight. • “You startled me, I am still trying to grasp the situation here.” You reply him with a low voice, trying to act calm by casually bring your drink closer to you and hydrates your throat. • “Hey Y/N-ah, I know you mentioned before that you don’t like the idea of dating someone from the office, but…” his eyes are fixed on you. “I like you. Not just the virtual you, but also the real you.” • “I called you a jerk.” You know you should not bring it up, but you still did. • “Which I did act like one so, no hard feelings.” He accepted. “I am truly sorry about that, I was trying to prove myself way too hard.” • Now it got awkward since he apologized without any complaints. You don’t know what to say and avert your gaze again. • “You know, Y/N ah, when you are stressed, you tend to avoid other people’s eye contact. “he breaks the silence. “And you are doing that ever since you reached here.” • Upon hearing his words, you flinched and exchange eye contact with the young man sitting in front of you. • “And oh, and you flinch as well.” He adds, “Which is very adorable in my opinion.” • “(ONF member’s name), I …” you try to explain yourself but he cuts you off. • “It alright, you don’t have to push yourself, I have made you stressed out way too much today.” ONF member smiles at you while saying based on what he observed. • He finally stands up and offers to send you home. You could not decline him because you felt terribly sorry for ruining such as nice date. • “I am sorry, should it is another girl, it will be a terrific night for you.” You apologized before leaving his car. • “Don’t worry; it is an unforgettable night for me.” He responds with his usual smile. • Back at your place, you are frustrated that the night ended up in an awkward and weird way. You only noticed that you did not get to hand him the chocolate treats as promised. • You cannot sleep that night, gazing at the chocolate treats as you holding the package in your hands. You cannot tell if you messed up or you are lucky that he happened to like you. • You wanted to consult a random mutual of yours but you hesitated. Because at this point you are not sure if you actually have the full grasp on the situation. And you don’t want a biased reply. • “It’s just this boyfriend of yours happened to be him, I guess?” you murmur to yourself. But that did not clear up your mind enough for you to make any decision towards the situation. • Several days passed, ONF member did not send any message to you in the chat app. He acted like usual back in office, but it does not look like he has any intention to talk about what happen between you two either. • (The problem is you cannot look at him in the eye) • You are troubled if you should initiate the first move. It’s not like you hate him, you never did in the first place, it’s just he annoys you sometimes. • Then you overheard ONF member having small talk with colleagues, and they ask about his Valentine’s Day. He only replies it was an unforgettable night and he is glad that he is able to meet his girlfriend, it was better than never meeting her at all.

1-11 • From his words, you gain a bit of courage and decided to make your first move. • The next day you arrived at the office earlier than usual, you take out something from you bag and places small gift box on ONF member’s desk. The small box has a memo attached to it. • You hurried back to your desk, acted as if nothing happened while the office starts have more and more colleagues coming in. ONF member arrives later on and he greets you before heading in his room. • You take some quick glances, making sure ONF member notices your belated Valentine’s day gift. • He did noticed and read the memo you attached, then he made a confused look but he adjusts his facial expression immediately as he sees you stood up from your place. • You head to his office room to brief his morning schedule. Like usual, you step into his room, closes the door and starts the briefing. ONF member stares at you with a puzzled expression while sitting on his chair. • Once you done your part and you ask him if he has any schedules to add into the list, he places the gift box into your view and pushes it towards you. • “What do you mean by this?” he inquires. • “I promised you chocolate for Valentine’s day, sorry I was late.” You purposely answer him the wrong information. “ Don’t worry I made a brand new ones.” • “You know I meant this.” He pulls out the memo has his eyes fixed on you. • The memo wrote, “(ONF member’s ID), Let’s call it off --- (Your ID)” • “That’s how it is.” You tried not to break into a smile, you are getting your revenge and this is fun. “You are the one who said you are fine to call it off if either one of us found someone in real life right?” • ONF member pauses for a moment, his eyes wandering then he admits he did say that. • “Well you found someone in real life, so there is not point for us to continue virtual dating on the app anymore right?” you slightly let out a victorious smirk as you ask him. • ONF member finally gets what you mean and he let out a smile. He puts down the memo and pushes himself up from his chair and walks towards you. • Thankfully the design of his room is made up of walls, once the wooden door is closed; no one knows what happens inside. • “So, you are fine with us dating in real life then?” You can feel his breath as he is only one step away from you. This time you are not going to back away and you look at him straight in the eyes. • “I will need to adjust a bit. You have a problem with me being your girlfriend?” you reply with him with another question. • ONF member unconsciously let out another smile, he quickly hides it with his hand, “No, not at all…” and those were the words you can hear coming out from him • “That settles it then.” You widen your grin towards him before turning around ready to leave his office. • But you are being pulled back by a pair of arms. Your back come contact to his chest area. He is hugging you from behind you. • “Seriously, I don’t get you.” He low key complains. “I thought you are going to hate me for real this time.” • “I was going to, you did not texted me and you acting like nothing happened after that night.” You pout as you explain to him. “I thought I have ended my career the moment you told me who you are. And who would have thought a decent CEO would date someone randomly they met in a online chatting app?” • “I am sorry; I thought leaving you unbothered for some time so that you don’t get stressed out.” You could tell from his tone he does feel apologetic. He never sounds like that before during work.

• "But I am dead serious on trying to start a proper relationship with you that’s why I suggested for us to meet up.” he continues. “Glad you felt the same.”

• You freed yourself from his hug and turn to him. • “Now listen, (ONF member’s name), as we are professionals, I do hope you understand that there is a clear line between work and private life.” You remind him. “Just because we are dating now, does not mean that I am going to let you off easily if you messed up during work, ok?.” • “Man, I don’t think I will ever win you huh?” ONF member only look at you affectionately and continues, “As you wish, my beloved assistant/secretary.”

A/N : the concludes for this oneshot headcanon fic should there are more ideas I might write a continuation about this pair for a part 2. Also thinking of linking the universe with MInkyun Florist AU, just a maybe.

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4328fox · 3 years

Text

Sweatshirt-Related Blues

summary: Alternatively, Yuri thinks about the routine that's setting in his life when it comes to dating Flynn.

notes: This was a drabble I did a month ago trying to work through my handful of writing ideas. I wasn't initially going to post it, especially not the second chapter, but I still feel relatively proud of both, so here they are. I mostly wanted to poke at Yuri (modern au setting) about thoughts he would likely deny of every having passed through his mind.

2k words. link to AO3

both chapters are also on the read more below!

SIDE A

Another calm afternoon goes by. Yuri continues typing on his computer as he strings his thoughts along, thoughts among the lines of I don’t get why you just don’t note these stuff down, while some from Brave Vesperia lament their loss in some scavenger-hunting video game. Yuri played a bit of it himself, but took to just watching Karol, Rita, Estelle and Patty mess around. He chuckles when he reads Rita’s clearly annoyed reply, and types up a quick one of his own. And then Estelle asks, isn’t it five in the afternoon now? Yuri sneaks a quick glance at the time on the monitor.

“Shit. I’m gonna be late.”

Yuri almost jumps out of the chair to get ready, but as he gets up, he decides to shoot a quick goodbye to his friends. Have fun lol, is how he finishes up the message, before he rushes back to his bed, where Repede has been resting.

“Come on, buddy, we can’t keep Flynn waiting.” Though Yuri very well recognizes that the fault will fall on him more than on his sleeping companion. He discards the sleep wear he put back on after running some morning errands, and grabs the clothes he dropped over the bed. Some bermuda shorts and a sweatshirt that is too light for the drizzling weather. At the very least, he feels good wearing those, so why pick a new outfit? Flynn’s definitely going to comment that I’d get cold. As if that really bothered Yuri to begin with.

He does a quick pat over his pocket, for his wallet. There. And he slides his phone comfortably into the other one. Repede just then has awoken fully, attentive to Yuri’s haste.

“Okay, let’s go.” He tries to comb a hand through his hair, but he instantly gets stuck on a painful knot. Yuri hisses a bit. “Or maybe in a minute.”

After a quick brushing session, Yuri slid his sneakers on and left the apartment, with Repede in tow. That’s when he gets a text. He opens it up, and as suspected, it’s from Flynn. Asking him if Yuri’s late again. That’s all routine.

The time they have together ends up amazing. To think they could make a competition out of bowling. As a result, Flynn paid for both their meals at the local restaurant. They spent longer than expected just chatting and eating, cooling down from earlier. They’d been sitting across one another on the table, exchanging the occasional grins between one another. And Yuri continuously stole glances from Flynn as they talked to one another, without being self-conscious of it like he used to be. That’s one perk in finally getting together. Their feelings are laid out on the table, there is no need to dance around excuses.

Flynn checks the wristwatch on his free hand, and Yuri just then realises he was entirely too focused on the hand itself. Their eyes meet.

“Yuri, it’s getting a bit late. Should we go?”

Yuri sips the remainder of his milkshake as he thinks. “Yeah. We can. I don’t have anything to be up in the morning for, though.”

“I have something from 10 in the morning.”

They both stand up, ready to head out. Yuri reaches for Flynn’s hand, taking it tentatively. It’s warm and slightly rough to the touch, but Yuri knows it’s as rough as his own. Flynn squeezes his hand and looks at Yuri to smile.

“I take it that you enjoyed tonight?”

“Hell yeah,” Yuri replies, “I beat you at bowling, I got free food. I think I got it pretty well.”

“I see that our date was just another contest to you.”

“Not my fault you lost.”

They continue bickering all the way to Yuri’s apartment. Flynn goes up the elevator with him, all the way to the entrance to Yuri’s apartment. This is routine, as dates with Flynn have been. Usually the outings would come and go, and one would escort the other and go home. They would hold hands. They kissed a few times.

“I’ll text you later.” Flynn says, quieter than his usual. He sounds so soft, it makes Yuri think that the sudden pounding in his heart is louder.

But he tries to keep it cool. “What, you don’t want to sleepover? Like the usual?”

“I didn’t bring any spare clothes with me. Or cleaning utilities. And I have classes.” Flynn laughs sheepishly. He takes both of Yuri’s hands in his own, but only for a brief moment.

“Aren’t the ones you’re taking in particular online? You just login in from my desktop and you’d be set.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, though I do hold to my lack of spare clothes.”

“Fine, fine.” Yuri rolls his eyes as they continue smiling. Yuri feels like they’re both the dazed fools from some picture-perfect storybook.

And then they look at each other. Yuri watches how Flynn suddenly grows nervous, swallowing a bit. It makes Yuri want to be just a bit selfish… To place one kiss on Flynn’s neck, where he knows it would tickle, to feel Flynn chuckle because Yuri for a fact knows that neither of them are very well-versed in being openly affectionate at all.

He leans in, hand lifting to cup Flynn’s face. The gentle press of their lips reminds Yuri of the static he would feel back when he dreamt of kissing Flynn, back when he was clueless of how bad he got it. And just like in his dreams, the kiss lasts for seconds, before one or both of them inevitably pull away. Yuri feels Flynn’s hand over his own.

But what if this were different from the dreams? What if Yuri pressed their lips again, chasing the feeling of Flynn being close? They’ve only ever had these short and sweet kisses, the types to make any hopeless romantic jealous. Yuri never thought he would be here like this, but there is always an exception when it comes to Flynn.

Both his hands are now on Flynn’s face, stroking his cheeks with thumbs. The kiss is slow, yet it quickly renders them breathless. They bump noses, they don’t really know where to put their hands, it’s not a smooth sail. But it was never meant to be elegant to begin with, given they’re in some old apartment complex corridor. Yuri feels Flynn kiss with the same amount of reluctance out of inexperience, but the very fact he’s wrapping his arms around Yuri’s back makes Yuri’s heart swell.

They part, but they’re still holding one another. Yuri, expecting to see the same face and the same blue eyes he loves, finds that it’s Flynn who's buried his face in Yuri’s neck. It makes Yuri feel adrenaline rush instantly, his cheeks feeling fuzzy and pulling at the corners of his mouth. It takes another second or two for him to realise that his boyfriend isn’t trying to kiss his neck, like he expected, but is instead just hiding his face.

Yuri finds it incredibly endearing. He should have expected this. He hugs back, not as tightly, but his hands rub Flynn’s back. “It’s gonna get cold for real if you stay out here any longer.”

Muffled through Yuri’s sweatshirt, Flynn says: “Your fault if I go out and get a cold.”

“You’re the one wearing a polo like you’re a divorced dad.” He slowly breaks off the hug, because he still wants to give Flynn a quick look over. Not entirely because their kiss just now woke thoughts in Yuri that he is desperately trying to keep dormant.

“Now it’s “divorced dad”? I would appreciate it if you stuck with one name when it came to my fashion sense.”

“It’s all atrocious is what it is.” Yuri grins, crossing his arms as soon as Flynn steps out of hugging range.

“And yet you still date me.”

“You’re lucky I like you, yeah. Now go home, if you cherish your special shower gel more than video game night.”

“I wouldn’t want to wound your pride after the amount of gloating you did over bowling.” Flynn chuckles at the thought, before his smile settles to something softer. “Goodnight, Yuri.”

It takes Yuri a beat to remember he’s supposed to go inside his apartment. “Yeah. Night.”

He fishes out the keys from his shorts’ pockets and unlocks his door in a swift move. After a quick wave from them both, Flynn turns his back to leave, while Yuri (and Repede, who was waiting diligently), are within the comfort of their home. Yuri sighs, a bit breathless, as he drops his keys and wallet to the side.

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SIDE B

Yuri daydreams more, as of late. When he and Flynn spend time together, the urge to be closer lingers on his mind. How much closer can he get to Flynn anyway? They go on dates somewhat regularly, they chat, they hang out with their friends. There’s sleepovers where they play video games to an ungodly hour, days where Yuri sits Flynn down just to help him recite whatever he was meant to study for a test.

And then there’s affection. Words of endearment, lingered in small doses of insult toward one another, there’s the occasional hand-holding, and there’s standing close at times. And then there’s Flynn’s different ways of showing his love, the tight embraces, the kisses…

Yuri wants more. And it’s such a selfish and such a strong urge forming itself in his brain and not leaving. Now that they’ve been dating for closer to a year, Yuri lays after dates in his bed, agonizing over himself. What more is there to want? Isn’t this calm in the sea much better than chaos contained within the waves? Yuri is lucky enough that their feelings ended up being mutual, because he never even imagined he would get this far with Flynn.

But that is a vice of itself, Yuri thinks, because it makes him dream. The deeper kisses he and Flynn shared in rare instances could not satisfy all urges, the parts of Yuri he would much rather purge out of existence.

Yuri wishes Flynn were here. That they were embracing over Yuri’s bed, that they were kissing. He’d probably been the one to push Flynn toward the bed, he realises. He’s the enabler in many ways, even if it’s something deemed so selfish. Yuri turns to lay on his side at the thought. Bodies pressed closer, warm feelings contained between them. Yuri thinks about Flynn’s hands, and how they would move to pull Yuri closer, while the gentle touch would leave him longing for some sappy words, some sappy expressions of love.

They’ve yet to settle comfortably in love declarations too. Yuri implies it with words, actions, never using the word itself. Flynn is a bit better about this, though he is just as skittish. If nothing else, he is much better at expressing his affection just through his choice of words than Yuri is. It isn’t that Yuri would mind saying the three words, because he imagines them escaping between him and Flynn, between hushed kissing. But he has yet to find the strength to say them. Yuri can only hope that he is at least able to express them.

He wants to make Flynn feel the same things Yuri is feeling now. He wants to move his hands, his lips, to lay over Flynn, to cup his face and to kiss him harder, until they both are breathless, laughing tired, basking in each other’s comfort. He doesn’t want one of them to have to go home after a date, he doesn’t want them to end on sweet kisses only. He wants them to spend the night, less as best friends still navigating their relationship, but closer to lovers who have been waiting for too long...

The moment Yuri realises he’s gotten too lost in his thoughts, he sits up, almost abruptly. His heart beats hard, it’s all he can hear in the darkness of the night. In the wake of it all, Yuri isn’t sure he is able to accept how he gets about this stuff.

He shuffles his hand through the night stand, until he picks up his phone. A little past 1am. Yuri supposes it’s fair. There aren't any text-related notifications, but he still opens the app for his group chats. Still no notification he happened to miss. Yuri taps the chat with Flynn, the latest message being some reply from Flynn over a meme Yuri sent. It says he’s online, so he’s probably studying.

Yuri begins typing, and he can feel his heart pound through his hands, making them feel weirdly clammy. Yuri pays little attention to it, but to think that he would feel like this… To be honest, it’s nice. That Yuri isn’t immune to something like the fluttering feelings of dating meant that all his thoughts that he can’t say out loud are normal.

He stares at his message for Flynn. He swallows, and he reads through it again. His thumb hovers over the send button. But he presses backspace.

i wish you stayed the night. i love you.

#tales of vesperia #fluri #yuri lowell #flynn scifo #writing tag

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write-a-bad-romance · 3 years

Text

Good in Red (Mozart x Isaac)

Pairing: Mozart x Isaac

Rating: T

Word Count: 3390

Prompt: Yandere, Gakuen AU

Ao3 Link: Here

Happy Halloween! I hope you're up for something a bit more experimental!

There was a downpour outside. That much Wolf could tell.

Lately, the white-haired youth found it laborious to roll off the bed and step outside. Not like there was anything to do in the living room.

The constant pangs in his head made it worse. Thank God the room he was kept in was just right across the bathroom. It was one of the few acts of mercy he was given in this otherwise appalling situation.

There was a water dispenser installed by the desk, with fresh mugs replaced daily. Lunch was... unusual, to say the least. Every day, there'd be a lovingly crafted bento box packed with snacks (and sometimes a carton of milk) left on the desk with a post-it note attached,

The cutely worded messages betrayed the sinister implications of Wolf's predicament. They were better suited for husbands leaving for the office or a child about to spend lunchtime for the first time in middle or high school.

It didn't fit the perpetually frowning boy, whose scent still lingered on the pillow next to his.

Wolf first saw him at the end of a recital, cherry blossom orbs full of wonder as the young conductor eye's swept over his roaring audience.

He was a friend of Leonardo, one of his violinists and a second grade. He was the president of the science club, and he confirmed Wolf's newest fanboy to be one of his members.

"A bit shy, that kid. But definitely full of potential." The Italian spoke between drags of sweet-scented cigarettes (like the chronic chain smoker he was, Wolf's nose curled in distaste) one afternoon. "He doesn't talk much, always standing by himself in the corner. But when he gets talking, boy. He's definitely going places someday, maybe even Todai*. Or MIT."

"Never seen him before, and I'm good at recognizing faces." Wolf's eyes scanned the cafeteria and spotted a female underclassman waving at him. He didn't return the gesture. "Is he a transfer student?"

"Try asking your best friend about him," Leonardo winked as he rose from his chair and gathered his tray. "His other best bud seems to be thick as thieves with the kid."

His name was Isaac, and he loved physics.

Wolf had no need to seek the freshman out himself. It was the school darling Napoleon who ambushed him after rehearsal one afternoon, a fidgeting redhead in tow.

Wolf had no patience for his type — painfully shy and ready to burst with a single poke. Wolf figured Napoleon was used to secondhand embarrassment as the bumbling schoolboy tripped on his own introduction.

I'm Isaac, and I love physics. The exact same words.

"N-nice to meet you." he blushed. "I've been coming to your recitals, you see. And I'm-"

Wolf zoned out on the remaining words as he expertly masked his growing disinterest. At least the boy seemed sincere.

The boy brought a sizable bouquet full of gladiolus and lily-of-the-valley. His face must have been burning behind the flowers as he presented them to Wolf.

"H-here." He thrust the bouquet in Wolf's face. "I hope this isn't too much."

He'd been given roses, chocolate, and even stuffed animals from secret admirers, boys and girls alike. But the straightforwardness with which Isaac gifted him the colorful array was novel.

"Danke Schoen." Their fingers touched as Wolf received the offering. Isaac was trembling. "You didn't need to go this far."

"But I- I wanted to!" The boy exclaimed with passion. Wolf was so astonished that he had no time to fight the red blooming across his cheeks.

Visiting the music room outside club hours had been Wolf's habit since his first year. It gave him time to practice and space to breathe new ideas into his compositions.

Before, there was nobody but him and the lustrous grand piano. Isaac became a new addition to his routine, unwelcome.

But only at first.

"Ah, Wolf-senpai. You're still here. Again," He would barge in at the end of every song, after unsuccessfully concealing himself near the door. "You don't ...tire, do you? It's after hours, and you're still fiddling with the piano."

It's the uneasiness in his voice that made the exchange endearing.

"And Leonardo should be looking for you by now." He smirked. "Don't you have science club?"

"Oh, there was nothing much, just a meeting and... stuff. I suppose you don't mind me intruding on your...uh, practice."

Wolf wanted to say he did mind. The line suited someone with a little more dash and charm, like Napoleon, better. The way Isaac stuttered and stumbled on his own words was amusing if only a bit awkward.

Few people could withstand Wolf's aloofness, and most would cower away after the slightest click of a tongue. There was a reason why he was dubbed the 'Ice Prince' by the school population.

The gratuitously assigned title always gave him and Jean (the other Cold Beauty of the School) a good laugh during lunch breaks. Except for the select few, no other person in the entire student body dared to disturb their exclusive, distant bubble of companionship.

Isaac was either admiringly bold or dangerously foolish for inviting himself into Wolf's presence. The music prodigy thought the effort was worth applauding.

Not that it was failing.

"I've got still got some sandwiches here. If you'd like, we can- "

" Sure, I've got some time to spare." Wolf smiled as he gathered his sheets. Isaac looked like he could drop dead on the spot.

"I didn't know you had this much interest in music," Wolf commented one breezy afternoon as they shared earphones on the school's rooftop. Without too much deliberation, he decided to let Isaac listen to his demos.

The boy was surprisingly candid with his critiques on Wolf's compositions, despite being a fanboy (which he refused to admit).

"I grew up on classical music," The boy replied. "Nan always said it contributed to my IQ or something."

Wolf held back a snicker. It was very much Isaac to drop hints of his own superiority, even behind a self-deprecating tone.

"I'm glad you did. Jean doesn't really listen to them. He's hopeless when I ask him for opinions."

Isaac dropped his fork onto the plastic food box with a loud clack.

"You talk to him too?" Wolf imagined Isaac drooping like a puppy. "Of course. He's your best friend."

Wolf only thought it was cute at the time.

"You're living by yourself?"

Isaac nodded as they walked side by side, cherry blossom trees in full bloom along the road. It was the start of a new school year, and Wolf had accepted Isaac's invitation to walk home together that day.

"You should try making unforgettable memories before you graduate." Jean urged him after hearing his best friend's recent development with his new best friend. "It's not often you get the chance to score with your favorite underclassman."

"Sure. Good luck scoring with Napoleon, yourself."

Wolf barely took notice of his surroundings as he was led to a massive apartment building. Even he knew no student would be able to rent their 1DK* units on part-time wage and parental subsidy.

"You're not the only one with fat wads of dosh." Isaac playfully smirked as he opened the door to his apartment.

Wolf could feel his heart thumping against his chest as he took his first step into the threshold.

There was no window to the outside world besides the TV. His iPhone was stashed away somewhere in this godforsaken apartment, most likely dismantled beyond repair.

Wolf curled on the too-small couch as the sound of rain muffled whatever trite noises the TV made. These days, there was nothing to watch but variety shows and drama.

He had no stomach for anime. His jailer, however, would drag him out to eat dinner while watching his favorite series.

He'd laugh and talk to him as if this was normal. Wolf supposed it was, for the aberrant. Had he been a girl, the freak would somehow bring get his hands on a marriage registration form and force him to sign it.

Alright, that was harsh. But judging from Wolf's current circumstances, maybe his prejudice towards the other boy wasn't entirely unjustified.

He fell for his kindness, and his hormonal, teenage self drove sealed his fate. What he thought was a mutual exchange between two touch-starved boys turned into a one-way transaction with no way out.

Wolf laid down on his back. The shadows playing across the ceiling gave him a sense of deja vu.

He could still feel the weight of a warm body on his own and the scent of strawberries clinging to his black sweater. His eyes and head were full of nothing but Isaac, Isaac, Isaa-

If that afternoon felt like a dream, then this must be a nightmare. The next time he opened his eyes, he would be back in his own bedroom, Nannerl's voice waking him from outside the door.

"Where on earth did you manage to get that? You don't have a sister."

"Be still, "Isaac admonished, leaning so close that he was partially sitting on Wolf's lap. "You don't want me to smear this all over your face."

You're not answering my question. Wolf wanted to know why Isaac was able to produce a glossy lip tint from his bedroom. He'd seen girls at his school carrying that particular brand and type. It became en vogue several months ago, and he still remembered his sister saying it was a best-seller.

Why a schoolboy with no girlfriend kept one in his bedroom, he didn't know. If this were somebody else, Wolf wouldn't pry. But this was Isaac.

He needed to know more about him. Peel away his layers and uncover the many different faces no one else would ever see.

Wolf put up mock resistance as the pointed applicator (apple-scented. Curious.) drew closer to his lips. Knowing that struggling would only lead him into having one of his eyes poked, the taller boy decided to lay down and let Isaac finish the job.

He gently swept the tint over Wolf's lips back and forth until he was satisfied. He reared back to look at his handiwork adoringly.

"Ah, as I thought, you look perfect in red." Isaac was quick to don back his signature frown. Only this time, there was a furious blush spreading across his cheeks.

Wolf said nothing as he pulled Isaac's tie until dry lips crashed on his lacquered own. The younger boy was just as eager as he was, an inquisitive tongue slipping into Wolf's welcoming mouth.

"I haven't seen you as often lately." Isaac caught him one day in the shoe changing area. "Been going somewhere?"

Wolf smoothly fought his desire to brush back Isaac's bangs from his forehead. "I'm now a third-year, and I'm attending the university prep class. I need to devote my time to studying."

"Is that why you're hanging with Leonardo-senpai all the time in the library?"

"What do you think? Of course," Wolf rushed towards the exit. He had no time for Isaac's nagging. "My parents have high expectations of me, you know."

"But what about your music?"

Wolf stopped in his tracks and turned toward the panting boy. "What about it?"

"I thought you got a recommendation from a music school somewhere. Why do you need to spend all your time studying?" the redhead yelled, his outburst a rare display of candid emotion.

What's with this naivety you're suddenly showing me? "My portfolio alone won't be enough to get me into a good school. I also need good grades to help me pass. I thought that's obvious, especially to you."

No high-achieving student like Isaac would suddenly fret over having to achieve higher grades to get to a reputable university.

I thought you wanted to get into astrophysics yourself? Does it not require outstanding grades?

"Isaac, what-"

"Then, does that mean you'll stop going to the music room and play like you used to?" Isaac strode to catch up with Wolf. "Does that mean I can't come and see you anymore?"

Wolf reached out and grabbed Isaac's sides, unaware of the attention they drew from bystanders. "If that's what you're worried about," he sighed. "We can go on weekends when I'm able. How does that sound?"

He didn't like the slight trembling of Isaac's lips. Here, he couldn't kiss it away. Not if it meant risking becoming the topic of gossip among students for many months to come

Wolf's phone vibrated for the fifth time over the last twenty minutes.

"Are you not picking that up?" Jean pointed at the device, eliciting a groan from its owner.

"That's just Isaac. Ignore it." The white-haired youth snatched his phone and switched on silent mode. "He's just a lot clingier lately."

"Why don't you block him? I'm sure this is not the first time." Jean regarded him calmly, his eyes focused on the problem that they were in the middle of solving. "Doesn't it bother you too when you're studying alone?"

"That's a little too harsh, even for Isaac." Wolf threw the phone over his head, and it landed on the bed with a soft thud. "Besides, weren't you the one shoving me towards him?"

Jean tapped the butt of his pencil against his lips. "I didn't expect it would turn into anything like this."

"Like what?"

"That he'd turn out to be this... possessive." Jean selected his words carefully. "I'm surprised you even let him go this far."

Wolf sighed. His friend was right. Nobody had ever driven him up the wall quite like Isaac. "He's always been lonely," Wolf concluded, violet orbs focusing on the mechanical pencil he was twirling. "I can't just leave him alone, can I?"

"Even so," Jean murmured. "I can't bear to see you like this. I've seen you approached by admirers before, and you turned them down all down without trouble."

What's so different about him? was the real question he didn't ask.

"He's... entertaining, to be honest. Makes you want to take care of him." Wolf explained, matter-of-factly. There wasn't a single tinge of red on his cheeks. "But, to be honest, his clinginess does irk me a bit."

Jean came over to ask help from Wolf for his math homework. He wasn't here to listen to him drawling about his (honestly hopeless) love life.

Wolf brought his attention back to the workbook they had abandoned. His brows were knitted in thought.

"You think it's a good idea to call it quits with Isaac?"

After a while, the rain finally quieted down, nearly lulling Wolf to sleep. Losing himself to slumber was the easiest, least painful way to deal with this hallucination-gone-horribly-real.

There was light rain on the day he asked Isaac to talk in a cafe not too far from here. Wolf remembered it like it was only yesterday. There was the posh interior, girls from the nearby Catholic school giggling at them, the aftertaste of the cafe au lait he ordered. He could vividly picture the delicately plated apple pancake in front of Isaac, piping hot and enticing.

He would never forget phantom tears prickling in the corner of Isaac's rosy eyes.

Everything considered, he did what he'd always done: tell the other they needed to part ways, calmly explain the reason why, and set boundaries. "I won't be answering your calls or messages, and I won't be waiting around for you after school."

"I will no longer be visiting the music room. You won't find me there."

Unexpectedly, the boy only heaved a sigh and shook his head. No screaming or begging involved.

"I see. I had a feeling it would turn out this way." He continued to finish his dessert silently.

Perhaps it was out of genuine love (or even pity) that he brusquely offered to walk Isaac back to his apartment building one last time. Wolf didn't consider himself a poor judge of character, so it must be his heart winning over his head.

And what a blunder that was.

He nearly collapsed onto Isaac's side, barely listening to the boy fretting and calling to him in distress. "Senpai, what's the matter? You look pale. Let's get you inside so you can lie down."

The unwitting Wolf was led straight into his awaiting den.

Wolf awoke to the sound of the front door unlocking and a quiet I'm home, followed by some shuffling and other sorts of ruckus the clumsy boy caused.

Footsteps approached the couch he laid on. His heart no longer throbbed like crazy by now whenever the other came near.

"I'm home, Wolf. Why didn't you answer?"

His boyish voice used to be the reason why he was drawn to Isaac. But now, it only made his skin crawl. Wolf seethed and averted his eyes as far away as possible from his 'guardian', wishing he could regurgitate his lunch all over the plush carpet.

"Are you still sulking? Don't be. It doesn't become that lovely face of yours."

If you weren't drugging me daily, I would have strangled you.

"Were you lonely without me? It can get pretty dull as dishwater 'round here." Wolf tried to distract himself from the hands, grabbing him and propping himself up. " 'suppose it's about time I get you a keyboard to play. It'll be like the old days."

I wish I never let you inside the music room that day.

Cold fingers combed through unruly silver locks. "This is all 'Leon's fault. Bummer. He insisted on waiting for Jean-senpai."

Isaac squeezed himself into space next to Wolf's rigid figure. The elder closed his eyes as an arm snaked its way around his waist. "Yeah, we couldn't exactly run under heavy rain."

Wolf's eyes were fixed on the screen. Would there ever be a chance of his face showing on breaking news, a shot of his parents crying over their missing son, or interviews with fellow students from his school?

Anything but the white noise the darned TV emitted. Or the unwanted hand now caressing his burning cheek.

Poor sod looked like he was missing you for real. Napoleon invited him to walk home with us because he 'couldn't bear to see him in distress." His voice dropped into a whisper. "But if you ask me."

"They're prolly trading making out in some dark alley because Jean-senpai can't stand being alone," Isaac mocked. Every syllable pouring out of his lips made Wolf's stomach churn. "I take back what I said about him missing you. He just wants dick in him, thinking it'll help him get better."

The plastic remote clattered on an uncovered part of the wooden floor. Wolf wanted to pry away his imprisoner's claws from his shoulder. Fingers that used to radiate heat all over his skin now left nothing but disgust in their wake.

"He likes to pretend he's all prim and proper when really, he's just an attention-seeking slag." The venom was so palpable and potent in his voice that it made Wolf overlook the fact that the bastard was muttering directly against the back of his neck. "I don't get why you kept putting up with him, that fraud."

Nobody else would ever be this genuine to you, Wolf-senpai. So the boy mumbled to him every night before sleep.

All sheepish pretenses were thrown and cast aside as conveniently as changing clothes. Wolves were affectionate creatures, the young composer once read.

But they're still wolves.

"I don't know if you'd be fine with electric keyboards," Isaac sighed into his hair. "If I had more money, I'd buy you a real red piano — the polished kind that looks like a toy. Ah, I used to see them all the time at a toy store when I was a kid."

Isaac's delirious rambling convinced Wolf that he wasn't the madman. That this was real and that there was no waking up from this long, bad dream —

Wolf violently shut his eyes as Isaac drew him closer, tighter. To Wolf's impaired senses, Isaac's words were losing to the sound of rain. There was a downpour outside.

" I found a picture of you from when you were in middle school. You were already stunning, sitting in front of your family's white piano." He went on. "It's always white, grey, light blue. Ever thought that you'd look perfectly good in red?"

Glossary:

*1 Todai: short for Tokyo Daigaku or Tokyo University. Basically Japan's most legendary university. *2 1DK: a Japanese term referring to an apartment unit with two rooms with a kitchen and dining space separated from other areas. The D stands for "Dining" and K stands for "Kitchen".

I originally planned this to be a shorter fic from Isaac's perspective, but I switched to Mozart's instead and got carried away.

#ikevam fanfic #ikemen vampire #ikevam mozart #ikevam isaac #mosaac #mozart x isaac #riri tries ikevam

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ninjabucky · 4 years

Text

My Girl

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You and Bucky secretly love one another, but as friends, you’re both scared to admit your feelings to each other.

Warnings: Fluff, mutual pining, friends to lovers AU, talks of sex, implied smut at the end.

Word Count: 2,834

A/N: Heavily inspired by the song 'Be My Baby' by The Ronettes. I kept the song on repeat as I wrote this.

This is also for @simsadventures 1k writing challenge and I've just made the deadline!! I had the prompts: Mutual Pining and Friends to Lovers and I loved every single of writing this. Congratulations on your followers sweetheart. You're a treasure and you deserve so many more. I love you!!

The night we met I knew I needed you so And if I had the chance I'd never let you go

Sundays were your favorite day of the week because every Sunday you and your best friend James, or Bucky as he liked to be called, came over to your apartment and the two of you would share a relaxing movie night to unwind and refresh yourselves for the upcoming week.

You were friends with Bucky for over 3 years, and in the past year and a half the two of you became the best of friends and you couldn’t imagine your life without him now. He had this lingering presence and he could lift your spirits within seconds of being around him. And though the two of you spoke over the phone every day, it was only a couple days a week you would meet up with him and his friends to hang out.

To the outsiders, it was easily assumed you were more than friends. The way the two of you would cozy up in the corner of the booth at some bar, laughing and joking with each other or the smile that never seemed to stray far from Bucky’s mouth whenever you were around or as Steve recognized when the two of you would exchange text messages. Or his excitement whenever you posted a new selfie on Instagram and he shoved his phone in Steve’s face for him to see.

As his best friend, Steve kept encouraging Bucky to talk to you about his obvious crush. But every time he tried to talk to him about you, Bucky would shoot him down and change the topic.

You were Bucky’s bubble, his motivation to wake up every morning, his inspiration to become a better man, hopefully for you.

Bucky was inevitably in love with you.

Within the three years of the two of you being friends, he has never looked at another woman the same way he looks at you. There is no one else out there for him, you’re it for him. The rare couple of dates he went on ended disastrously, the women were not interested in his hobbies, in his work. They just wanted what was in his pants and Bucky wasn’t that type of man to have one night stands.

His last serious relationship was over 5 years ago and that lasted for just 1 year, but it was also the last time he had sex. He didn’t care about that, he would rather wait for the right woman than inviting back random women to his bed.

Part of that decision was caused by you. One evening the two of you lounged together on the couch with pizza boxes scattered over the table and beer in your hands talking about sex. You expressed a dislike of one night stands, calling them cheap and dirty. So he learned to share the same feelings as you.

I'll make you happy, baby, just wait and see For every kiss, you give me I'll give you three

It was 5PM and you knew Bucky would be arriving soon to start your movie night. You’d already ordered the pizza and the beer was stacked in the refrigerator chilled.

You had a little time to shower and throw on some comfortable clothes, just a loose T-shirt and some boy shorts. Clothes you wouldn’t normally wear around a man but you were so comfortable around Bucky he never seemed to mind, in fact, he actually loved it especially when you were braless but he would never tell you that.

“Hey doll, I’m home.” He joked as he walked into your apartment. Bucky shrugged off his jacket and dropped it on a hook by the door.

“Hey, Bucks.” You greeted him with a small kiss on his stubbled cheek. You loved the way they pricked at your lips and just sometimes it was hard to get the image out of your head of his stubble burning you elsewhere.

Your love for Bucky was just as strong. He was this gorgeous, kind, caring, considerate man with a heart of gold and there was nothing in the world Bucky wouldn’t do for anyone, whether they were a friend or a stranger. He couldn’t stand by and watch someone struggle like the old lady who lived across the hall from you. The two of you got back from furniture shopping and he saw the old lady struggle with her grocery bags, he very kindly offered to take the bags from her and carry them up the 5 flights of stairs. The landlord was to mean to move her downstairs, the older she became the less frequent she left her home. Bucky offered to do her shopping for her, whatever and whenever she needed things.

“He’s such a sweetheart. You are a very lucky girl.” She commented to you one time as you passed her in the hall. You nodded in agreement but your heart sunk simply because you weren’t his girl.

Oh, since the day I saw you I have been waiting for you You know I will adore you 'til eternity

You turned away from Bucky and missed the blush that was creeping up his neck. He cleared his throat, putting his hands in his pocket as he walked towards your little kitchenette.

“Pizza will be here soon.” You announced, grabbing two beers from the refrigerator. Bucky quietly thanked you and followed you to the couch. Scrolling through Netflix for a movie to watch.

You still couldn’t find something to watch after 30 minutes. Half of the pizza was eaten and you were on your second beer.

“What about The Witcher?” Bucky suggested. You turned to look at him and blinked, he just shrugged in return. “I just heard it’s a good TV show. At least that’s what Steve told me…” He said with uncertainty in his voice.

The evening was going quick and you just decided to put The Witcher on since you didn’t want to waste any more time.

During the binge-watch, you didn’t feel Bucky scoot closer to you. Your shoulders and knees touched. His warmth made you blush and his aftershave danced on the inside of your nostrils, you wondered how a man could look sexy, smell gorgeous and still be a single man.

Then it reminded you. “So are you dating anyone right now?” You asked, making a small conversation to build up your courage.

Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed, wondering where you were going with this exactly.

“Uh, no. Why?”

It was now or never. “I have a date tomorrow.” You whispered, you knew how protective Bucky was of you and he would want to know every single detail down to the guy’s blood group before he made his mind up whether he was good enough for you or not. But something about Bucky’s features seemed different. His eyes seemed to light up on fire and his heart soared in his chest, he felt dizzy and he felt nauseous but worst of all, he felt jealous.

“Bucky?” You noticed his breathing had picked up and his fists were visibly clenched in his lap.

Your voice snaps him out of his dazed trance. The little daydream he had of ripping the lucky guy’s head off, Bucky would never stop you from going on dates and he regretted he didn’t say anything to you sooner.

He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. “That’s great, doll. Happy for you. Uh, I just remembered, I gotta go.” Bucky stood before you could answer and watched helplessly as he threw his jacket on and walked out of the apartment, leaving you there confused and hurt, because not only did Bucky just lie to you about needing to go, he appeared to be in a rush to get away from you.

So won't you, please, be my, be my baby Be my little baby, my one and only baby

You weren’t as excited about the date this afternoon as you should have been. You spent the entire night sobbing into your pillow, sobs that turned into a wail with each text Bucky had read and ignored.

Why was he so mad at you? And most importantly, why were you mad at yourself for agreeing to go on some lunch date with a guy in statistics when Bucky was the man you really wanted? Was it because you knew you never stood a chance against these gorgeous brunette women who threw themselves at him?

You were getting ready at a snail pace. Your mind wandered back to last night and you wished you could take it all back. You wouldn’t have told him and he wouldn’t have known.

You feared the worst now. He still didn’t answer any of the messages you sent him, but you saw him active just an hour ago on Instagram and he completely ignored your story which he normally would have opened and reacted to.

You only knew he purposely ignored you because he commented on Steve’s and Wanda’s posts.

Bucky hated himself, he really did. Jealousy consumed him and he spent the whole night tossing and turning. He hated the way he left things with you and he almost replied to your text, he did write one out but pressed the backspace a couple of times. He saw you were online on Instagram too, but he quickly got angry and assumed you were online to talk to this guy you were going on a date with. He saw you had a new story post up, he willed his fingers not to open it. He didn’t want to see it, he feared it was a kissing selfie with the lucky man.

Bucky was alone in his apartment, slouched on the couch as he watched something he clicked on Netflix. His hands were in his sweater pockets, his feet rested on top of one another.

He was thinking about you, how you were a definition of a literal sweetheart. He thought about the way your gorgeous smile not only lit up the room but his heart too. He visibly cringed reminiscing about the lost opportune moments had to ask you out but didn’t. He was sure he was friend-zoned now and he only had himself to blame, for waiting too long and for not listening to Steve, who lacked experience with women, seemed to always know the right answers.

A shroud knock echoed throughout his apartment and he eyed the door suspiciously from the couch. He wasn’t expecting anyone and quickly dismissed it as a neighbor who needed their light bulb changed again.

But the knocking got louder, whoever was behind the door was persistent.

With a click of his tongue, he reluctantly stood up as his feet padded across the wood floors. He pulled the door open with a huff but froze in place, wide-eyed.

There in front of him stood you. Mascara stained down your cheeks and Bucky instantly thought of the worse. Did the guy you were with hurt you?

“Y/N? Are you alright-'' Bucky was interrupted with your lips on his. Your hands laced around the back of his neck to pull him closer to you. The taste of your lips was so sweet, he could taste your spearmint toothpaste.

If it wasn’t for the need of air, you would have kept kissing him. But your lungs complained, reluctantly you pulled away and rested your forehead against his. Bucky’s brows were knitted together in confusion. He was sure this was some kind of sick dream. He walked backward, bringing you inside of his apartment.

“You’re the one I want, Buck. I don’t want to dance around it anymore.” Your breath fanned across his swollen plump lips as he shut the door with his foot and leaned you against it.

“I want you too, doll. But you gotta explain, I don’t…”

“I ran into Steve on my way to the restaurant. He told me you liked me and that we were great for each other. Imagine my shock.” You chuckled nervously. “I’ve been in love with you for so long that I never once thought you could love me back. I just swallowed my feelings but I didn’t even want to go on that date.”

Bucky was more than sure he was dreaming. Maybe he fell asleep on the couch, sometimes his imagination ran away with him and he couldn’t tell the difference between dream-state and reality. He was very much aware of the fact that the mind can play some tricks. He was sure this is what was happening to him currently. None of this made sense to him.

“He’s wrong.” Bucky pulled away, putting his hands in his pockets and your heart dropped into your stomach. Of course, Steve lied. Why would someone as gorgeous as Bucky want someone ordinary like you? You stood Luke up at the restaurant only to be rejected. Bucky loved you as a friend, that must have been what Steve meant and if you didn’t ruin things last night, you definitely have now.

“Oh - Buck I’m sorry.” You sheepishly lowered your head and looked at your feet.

“Why are you sorry?” He asked as he bounced on the balls of his feet. Something he did when he was nervous.

“I just embar-”

“No, no.” Bucky quickly interrupted you, knowing where you were headed with it. “You didn’t trust me. He’s wrong about me just liking you doll. I’m in love with you and I have been since we met. That’s why I haven’t dated anyone, haven’t slept with anyone. You’re the only one I want, doll. There’s no one else for me.”

“You want me?” You smiled hopefully.

A blush crept up his neck and cheeks as he grinned, showing those perfect white teeth.

“Absolutely. More than I want tacos.” He joked and you chuckled, happy tears running down your stained cheeks. “I want you to be my baby girl, and I want to be your man.” He walked closer to you, caressing your cheeks with his thumb.

“I want that too.” You broke the distance and leaned up on your tiptoes. Your lips locked together as you embraced each other.

So won't you, please, be my, be my baby Be my little baby, my one and only baby Say you'll be my darlin', be my, be my baby Be my baby now, my one and only baby

Bucky offered his shower for you to get cleaned up, you gladly accepted. Wiping your makeup off your face and using Bucky's shower gels and his delicious apple shampoo. You smelt like the feminine version of him and you loved it.

You stepped out, drying your body with his fluffy towels and changed into the pair of grey sweats, rolling the waistband over a couple of times to create a snug fit and his favorite henley. He only trusted you with his beloved henley.

You stepped out of the steamy bathroom and plopped yourself down next to him. He smirked as he pulled you into his lap, nipping and kissing at your jaw.

"Can't believe I'm allowed to do this now." His voice vibrated against your throat and you shivered.

"Me neither. I'm so happy." You tilted your head back to give him better access.

"Me too, doll. Listen, why don't we watch Netflix in bed and get more comfortable. I'll order takeout?" He suggested. You loved the sound of that idea and nodded your head enthusiastically. "Great!" He shouted, holding onto your waist as he hoisted you up and carried you to his bedroom. Candles were already lit around the place and the duvet cover was pulled back. He dropped you on the bed and you giggled when you bounced from the impact. Bucky had a mischievous glint in his eye as he crawled above you. His hands slipping under the shirt and caressing your breasts. A soft gasp left your lips, the encouragement he needed to continue. If this was a new idea for 'movie nights' you were absolutely on board.

You never did get to see a movie that night. Bucky spent the entire night loving you just like he promised. This was it for the two of you, there was no going back now.

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rpbetter · 3 years

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I genuinely don’t think the problem is as deep as people are seeing it as, with that whole resource blog and vent blog drama. I was there when it began, and it started because someone sent a submission that was recognizable enough to trace to that resource blog, who ended up calling themself out, and then a bunch of people dogpiling them, and then it turned into the 2021 edition of good old tumblr wank, mocking sockpuppets included. I essentially watched a bunch of 30 year olds call each other doodooheads like a couple kids on the playground, but at least kids forgive and forget after a day or two.

That’s probably why they’re avoiding this situation like the plague. The first time a submission went through about that resource blog, it made people feud like the Montagues and Capulets. Obviously they don’t wanna risk fueling that type of drama again. If it’s true that they aren’t letting these submissions through and it isn’t tied to reasons like tumblr eating the ask, then it’s probably because they don’t wanna be involved in this drama anymore. And I don’t blame them, because honestly, even as an observer I’m tired of seeing it, I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be for y’all who are actually involved. Geez. Who even has the energy for this much drama anyway? I’m tired just getting outta bed.

Sorry, Anon, I really had to!

Anyway, I'm sorry it took forever to get to your message, not only did I need a break from this, I needed to space out things related to it, it had taken over the blog. I appreciate that, despite how over it all you are, you were polite about how you feel. I know that is not always easy, and I do really appreciate it!

I hope that you don't feel I am being hostile to you about anything I say, it isn't meant that way. Differences of opinion, when not expressed hatefully, are always welcome here. I'm just going to try to express some of this situation from another perspective, and full disclosure, I'm pretty pissed off about it whether or not I actively want to be. This did impact my hobby, it did hurt people I care about, and I cannot believe such an unnecessary act lead to shit that is still going on.

On the first point...most things aren't as deep as we're given to feel they are after we've been made to feel incredibly unsafe, targeted, repeatedly let down and lied to, and experienced an astronomical level of sketchy behavior out of muns in a position that one is supposed to have some minor level of responsibility (as well as decent comportment) within. So, maybe it isn't that deep, but at this point, I very much cannot blame people for their concerns and suspicions.

And it was incredibly sketchy. CoaR, I'm just going to say it, everyone knows of which blog we're speaking at this point, did all of the following, breaking their own rules for moderation repeatedly:

allowed an actual, openly stated, callout blog to interact with their posts

allowed a meme blog to use their posts for the point of off-blog drama mongering, callouts, and outing themselves

would not moderate this situation as stated in their rules, when they've a bit of nasty record in the not too distant past of mass-blocking for far less and far more questionable reasons

did bother to post about how they weren't getting involved, as though this did not break multiple rules and absolutely is one's problem if it is your vent blog someone is using to create and foster bullying - simply giving the bizarre statement that blocking won't help anyone, when that isn't the point at all lol the point is being intolerant of people using your blog, that has to operate on a basis of being as safe a place as possible for venting (which is drama), this is about a stance and blog security, not being anyone's parent

just as weirdly vaguely threatening everyone first with all the mods "watching," because that's not actually implying an Orwellian parental role no one asked for, then with Sky once again misunderstanding the difference between being a " disciplinarian" and an ass

consistent lack of transparency on all counts

and then, yeah, there is the choice of publishing submissions/rebuttals combined with all of this and those submissions/rebuttals being what they are - not all related to "the drama," or in violation of the rules either, but the apparent willingness to publish them from one side of "the drama" there for a bit

I cannot blame people for feeling like all of this combined is a legitimately sketchy situation. One in which they've already, again, been made to feel unsafe within because COAR was used as a list for callouts.

When people see someone like Raven getting wildly different treatment by not being so much as warned, they're going to feel suspicion about the mod(s). It makes it so much worse that they chose to make the statements they did instead of a transparent, reasonable one like, "We apologize that CoaR was used the way it was, we should have blocked the callouts blog right away, but didn't. To reiterate the rules we've had in place for years, this blog is never to be used for callouts or taking bullying off-blog. Due to how widespread the problem has become, we will not be publishing anything related to it any longer. Submissions will be deleted so we can begin putting this behind us."

Acknowledge fault, apologize for it, say what you're doing to mitigate it now. That's it. Don't actively make it worse!

About the submissions...I know I'm alone in having tested that out. It isn't limited to things that either break the rules or are related to the issue. It's very select topics that are a bit uncomfortably aligned with the bias displayed, and from very select blogs. That's a problem. It's not selectively publishing based on drama-avoidance or rules, what CoaR has always done and no one here is taking an issue with.

I have 0 interest in things like trackers, they're far too easy/tempting to use maliciously for most people, and at the very best, they foster an environment of paranoia. What I know about them comes from really minimal personal experience (I wanted to see what posts people were most interested in on another blog, but it felt creepy with the amount of information I had, so I dropped that very fast) and what mutuals who use them have told me/questions they've answered.

So, is it possible the mod(s) is selectively deleting submissions from blogs they feel are a problem? Yes, it is totally possible. Do I know that for a fact? No, I totally do not. My point is that this is exactly the sort of paranoia that takes off when too many suspicious things happen back to back. You begin seeking the answers you are not getting, and you're seeking them because every day for a month or two, your experience logging in has been one of what the fresh hell. It's a need to insulate yourself from further exposure to harassment.

It's a very simple formula: act sketchy, people look at you like you're sketchy.

And I'm not going to condemn anyone for that.

I will also say that, unless several people deleted their comments or have me blocked in multiple places they somehow know of and take issue with, I did not see what you are describing when I read over the total explosion that happened...what, like a month, two months ago at this point? It was very fresh at the time.

What I saw was someone having submitted about a meme blog screenshotting their mutual's rules. Raven going off about it in a reblog. Two commentators trying to discuss the issue and finally, just saying they weren't surprised what meme blog it was once Raven outted themselves like a fully hinged individual interested in following CoaR's rules.

One of those s commentators is a friend, the mun whose rules were in the posts is a friend. I've never been anything but transparent about that. I'm also familiar with some of the other parties who ended up going on hiatus, but only from discussions on the vent blog over the years. So, yes, I do have personal investment here, and I do not feel like any of those people telling Raven and the callout blog they were at least involved with that their behavior was bullshit can be equated to immature shit slinging. There were even two muns who repeatedly tried to have a civil conversation with Raven, specifically, and for their efforts, got some of the most wildly juvenile treatment.

The worst things I saw came from hate anons and the callout blog.

The people receiving that treatment were largely driven off tumblr. For a time, forever, it differs with all of them. So, I feel like saying that about the thirty-year-olds thing is a little off. I'm not trying to be shitty, Anon, but the muns who tried to address Raven's bullshit were all of that age range. They're definitely continuing the drama, they're not here. They can't feel comfortable enough to be on their own blogs still.

I also am required ethically to say that we all really need to stop with throwing around ages like this. Again, I'm not trying to be hostile to you, Anon. I've been trying to show other people's perspective in this (it doesn't matter if you agree or not, I just think it's important to understanding, stopping, and prevent problems to have a fuller perspective that we often lack because we are incredibly tired of whatever is going on, and you're right, we are all really damn tired and also Tired), and as it is an advice blog, I try to address problems here. The pervasive ageism in the tumblr RPC is a problem.

It's a problem that gets discussed when it involves adults not wanting to interact with minors and, as I've seen it put several times, "treating them like the plague." There are a billion "conversations" and complaints about that, but there aren't many at all when it comes to the RPC's bizarre ideas about what age constitutes an adult (you're an actual child until around 23, you're ancient and need to die already, you pedo, at 26) and what being an adult actually is.

You do not turn thirty and lose your hobbies. You also do not turn thirty and become an ultra-mature adult, no leveling up into arcane Adult Knowledge and Behavior unlocks when you wake up on your thirtieth birthday. Between the ages of 17 and 27, you go through so many rapid changes in your cognition, but it levels off considerably after that. You're largely the same person at 32 as you were at 27, and you cannot say that about being...17 and 20, 22 and 25. It begins to take longer to see changes in who you are, those changes are less extreme - your personality, preferences, and viewpoints remain largely the same, they just refine a little here and there.

There is no line at which people "should" stop engaging in any hobby, and it's incredibly gross that the RPC seems to think anyone out of college-age should have no interests, let alone passionate ones, outside of going to work, having a family, and paying bills. That's a bit horrifyingly 1950's isn't it? It's also really misogynistic, considering that the primary base of the RPC is female or afab. When you deal in this, you're literally telling thirty-year-old people with uteruses that they should have no interests outside of birthing children and caring for them.

This isn't what you were doing, Anon, but it's part of the tumorous growth of this ideology that we casually throw around things like "a bunch of 30-year-olds" to make a point. We've seriously got to stop doing that, it isn't a message that most of us would agree with. There are other ways of saying "I think these people should behave more maturely since they're adults."

If I said something like, "well, they were just in their mid-twenties lol what do you expect?" I'd get hate anons, pants would be shat in, and more importantly, it would be wrong. That needs to work both ways, this isn't a separate issue.

An issue that repeatedly comes down to the absurdity of finding differences and drawing lines into cages around people in an environment in which we have the freedom to be more equal than in offline reality. We're all just people here, all just writing and interacting and loving characters. That's all we need to be, and all we need to be judged on is our behavior.

I'm sorry that anyone behaved in a grossly inappropriate manner during any and all of this. It was a heated thing that came to involve too many people and too much harassment, and those are factors that will always see people behaving in ways they would not normally engage in.

And like I said, you don't become some wise master of maturity at thirty! There is a problem mun I'm currently dealing with on another blog that is my age who is one of the most immature people I have ever run into. I have mutuals and friends in the early to mid-twenties who I'm confident weren't as childish as this mun when they were literal children. So, do people thirty and over behave in a seriously unbecoming, childish as hell manner? Yes, they so do! Whether it should be this way or not, you can't expect everyone to be at the same maturity level psychologically at any given age. To me, that just says that I shouldn't age-type people negatively. It isn't relevant where their behavior is.

Otherwise, I'm holding people at some nebulous age over thirty to higher expectations than other equally adult-range people. It isn't acceptable for anyone to behave in the ways I witnessed and was subjected to. It's not even acceptable in teenagers, it's just more understandable (not excusable) because they're working with many things they quite literally cannot control at all times. To act this way is telling everyone below thirty that they're just immature, irresponsible, dicks. It's insulting to them to be labeled in this way, too, even if too many of them see it as a free pass and are, thus, okay with it right now. They won't be, eventually.

Anyway, again, I'm not trying to be shitty to you! I don't think you meant anything in your message in a nasty way, and I cannot say how much I appreciate that after the bullshit brought to this blog and that I've been dealing with privately to help some of those affected feel like the RPC is a place they're safe and welcome in again.

I am definitely tired! Everyone else involved is as well. At least, on what I have to term as "this side" of the equation. I cannot speak to the other side, obviously, but I think they got tired enough of it not being tolerated to be quiet at least. When you make it unfun for people like that, that's usually what happens, after all.

So, I don't think it's them trying to continue the drama. Most of the people I know have remained in their corners happily or been obliged to leave for a while. As for the other people with suspicions...like I said, there are a lot more factors going on here than wanting to perpetuate drama. Sometimes, when we try to make ourselves feel safe, vindicated/vindicate a friend, there isn't any other option but to have the topic come up or breed into suspicions, correct or incorrect ones.

It's a situation that CoaR had a great deal of culpability in, and as such, had a lot of power to mitigate this well before it got to suspicions of who was modding the blog. That wasn't done, and won't be. Like Raven's antics, I have to feel like they've brought some of this on themselves. I do not and will not condone any hate messages sent their way, but again, right or wrong, people do have a right to feel the way they are.

If I were you, I'd stay as far away from it as possible. I don't go on CoaR unless I have to in order to answer something. I had a single blog blocked over here until this all went down (hilariously, it happened to be one that was involved, too, sometimes the red flags are legit, folks), now I have a sadly large number of them. It's now added to liberally, and I hate to do that, I like this blog to be open even to people who disagree with me. I can't deal with the constant drama, though, and I'm not going to be in a new callout every month until I die. Outside of being true to my word about accepting any and all vent messages, I don't want to see it, I don't want to be involved with it. I tag the posts so that followers can filter it, but I'm not going to function as a semi-callout blog by telling people who they should avoid. Just that they should avoid anyone who is making them feel this tired and done. Myself included.

I hope things have settled down in your corner of the RPC since you sent this! They have over here, thankfully. I think most people are staying away from the vent blog and hoping a new and better one comes along. It's back to the usual drama of "stop calling muns pedos for aging up characters."

#answered #anonymous #drama cw #misogyny cw #ageism cw #coar drama cw #I think that's all of them...#tumblr rpc

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