#by taking care of myself at least a little bit; but the longer it goes the less you want to yannow? and the worse you end up feelin for it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ahgasegotarmy116 · 3 months

Text

Just Take It | Jeon Jungkook | Part Two

Summary: The morning after the disaster that was your engagement party has got your head pounding and you're not even sure what your next move is gonna be. Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 5k~ Warnings: Explicit Language (maybe idk I can't remember lol) an argument and idk that's kinda it lol and ofc barely edited lmao a/n: I'm putting out part 2 early as a thank you for all the notes and just the over all interaction you all have given my blog and this story so thank you. I've barely written anything for part 3 so there's gonna be a bigger gap between uploads so forgive me but be sure to check out my other stories as well in the meantime 🥰 Requested by: @kkusadmirer 💜

Hearing the birds outside is the first thing that brings me out of the dream state I had been in. I open my eyes and scan my surroundings and notice that I'm still at Jungkook's house. "What happened last night?" I say aloud, rubbing my eyes and sitting up before laying back down, getting an instant head rush.

"Y/n?" I hear Jungkook from the other side of door. "Come in" I say before thinking twice, not remembering anything about what happened last night. "Good morning sunshine" he says quietly, walking in with a glass of water and pain killers and I sit up slowly as he comes closer.

"How did I end up in here?" I ask and wordlessly thank him and take it real quick and start chugging the water while waiting for his response. "I carried you" he replies leaving me choking at the image.

"You carried me in here?" I ask, embarrassed that he had to take care of me like that. "Yeah you pretty much passed out on me so I kinda had to" he laughs, rubbing my back hoping to help me stop coughing. "I'm sorry I kinda don't remember anything" I admit and I see his face fall a little leaving me panicking again.

"Did I do something stupid?" I cringe and he laughs at whatever memory he has leaving me even more nervous. "No don't worry you were just being cute" he teases and I let out a breath I had been holding, thankful I didn't make too much of a fool of myself, or at least by his standards.

"I'm sorry I guess I lost control a bit" I say, looking down at my hands, embarrassed that I had given him so much trouble to deal with. "You know you say sorry a lot for someone who doesn't really have anything to be sorry about" he say and I sigh, not believing his words but not having the energy or brain capacity to argue.

"Hey" he says, tilting my chin up to look at him, you're fine y/n don't worry. I'm just glad you let me be there for you. I couldn't let you leave in the state you were in so thank you for trusting me to take care of you" he says while rubbing his thumb up against my cheek and all I can do in response is blink, so caught off guard by the sudden skin ship.

"Are you hungry?" he asks, letting go of my chin and taking the water glass from my hand. "Yes and no. Honestly I feel like I'm gonna throw up" I admit without thinking twice. "I mean I-"

"It's okay, you really did drink a lot so I'm not surprised. Let me at least make you some soup so you have something in your system" he says and I nod which satisfies him. "I'll let you know when it's ready" he continues and I nod again, watching as he makes his way out.

I hold my head in my hands, begging for the medicine to kick in so this pounding in my head goes away. Although I know though that the onset stress of not knowing what happened last night is the real cause of this headache. 'What happened last night?' I question myself silently this time, going through everything that happened yesterday but the part after me coming back inside the house after everyone left is still a little fuzzy.

I sit and think for a little while longer and before I know it Jungkook is knocking on the door again. "Foods ready" he says with a sweet smile making me forget how exactly I'm supposed to respond. "Is everything okay?" he asks, coming to sit on my side of the bed. "I just, I really don't remember what happened last night" I say and he nods and thinks for a second before responding.

"How about this, lets get some food in you first and get you feeling a bit better and then I'll tell you. Okay?" he offers, tilting his head at me and I nod after thinking for a second or two. "Great, now can you get out there on your own or do you think you need some help?" he asks and I quickly go to shut down his offer.

"No Jungkook that's okay I can manage" I say and throw the covers off of me and slowly get up off the bed and I hear him chuckle a bit. "What are you laughing at?" I ask, confused as to if he's making fun of me or not.

"No, no it's nothing. I'm just surprised you called me Jungkook on your own this time" he says as I start to stand and my heart rate picks up, not even realizing I had done that. "Well you wanted me to call you that right?" I ask shyly, but I lose my footing when I stand up, still a bit weak to my dismay but before I have a chance to fall Jungkook catches me and pulls me onto his lap.

"I-" I start but am caught off by the proximity and the memories of last night start to flood my brain and I rest my head on his shoulder just like I did before I passed out.

I groan and he laughs at my reaction, "It all coming back to you isn't it?" he asks and I nod, not daring to make eye contact with him. "I can't believe I asked you to do that. I'm sorry" I say and try to get off his lap but he pull me back on it with his hands that are firmly placed on my hips.

"Hey, you didn't do anything wrong" he says, brushing the hair that had fallen on my face out of the way. If I couldn't breathe before I definitely can't breathe now, especially since I catch him looking down at my lips before quickly flipping them back to my eyes.

"Okay" is all I can manage to choke out and before he's able to do anything else I quickly get up off his lap and walk out of the room, needing to break the tension that had started to build between us.

'What the fuck am I doing? Kissing my best friend...well ex best friend's dad? Like what the fuck is wrong with me?' I walk into the bathroom in the hallway to get an extra five minutes alone so I can try to stop my heart from racing. Who would've thought that in less than twenty four hours I would have a mental breakdown not once, but twice in this same bathroom. 'Why does this shit always have to happen to me?'

After taking a few more breaths and washing my face I walk into the kitchen where I see Jungkook enjoying his morning cup of coffee, or should I say afternoon cup of coffee as I check the clock seeing it's already past two.

"Did I really sleep this late?" I ask, cringing at the thought of yet again inconveniencing him. "Yeah but don't worry I was planning on having a lazy day anyways" he says, reading my mind and motioning for me to sit down at one of the stools on the island he has in his kitchen.

He turns his back to me and starts preparing me a bowl of soup but I can help but check him out, his strong broad shoulders that lead down to his small waist and accompanied by his ass and thick thighs I could just-

"Here you go" he say, placing the bowl in front of me and I quickly bring my eyes to the food he's given me. It smells strangely like home, almost as if my mom had made it for me when I had been sick as a kid. "Thank you" I say quietly and take a bite, moaning at the warm and rich flavor that hits my tongue without even realizing what I'd done.

"That good huh?" he asks while leaning back on one of the counters with his arms crossed over his chest. "Oh- um, yeah. Yes, thank you" I say, quickly tripping over my words but he just smiles before taking another sip of coffee and I quickly go back to eating my soup. This time quietly.

"So what are you planning on doing?" he asks casually after I've finished eating, as if I know what he's talking about. "What do you mean?" I question after taking a drink of water, him having refused to give me a cup of coffee until I had at least drank two cups of water.

"You live with my daughter right?" he questions and my whole mood turns upside down. He takes notice of it and quickly back pedals, "I guess I should've waited for you to wake up a bit more before asking you that" he says, now offering me an apology cup of coffee.

"No it's okay you're right. I probably should figure out what I'm gonna do. To be honest I think I'll move out. Just because being in the same space that I used to spend time with them in just sounds like I'm setting myself up for heartbreak" and he nods at my reasoning but I decide to continue anyways, verbally processing it all.

"If I stay there I'll be reminded of all the good times we had and the many memories we made together and I don't want to be haunted by those images. Plus a fresh start sounds perfect to me" I say and he continues while adding the perfect amount of milk and sugar to my coffee, weirdly.

"So are you just going to stay there until you find a place?" he asks and I think about how awkward it's going to be just working around her until I find that perfect place. "I was thinking I could probably ask my sister if I could crash at her place for a bit" I say thinking of the first solution that comes to mind.

"But doesn't your sister live on the opposite side of the city from your internship?" he questions and I slump at that realization. "You're right. I guess I'll just have to wake up a bit earlier" I say, trying to figure out how to remedy this problem full well knowing it's been hard enough for me to wake up and get there on time even though I only lived ten minutes away.

"Why don't you stay here?" he offers and my whole body straightens up instantly, "You would let me stay here?" I ask, my eyebrows raised as high as they possibly could, surprised that he would even offer something like that and he nods in response.

"You would let me stay here?" I question again, clarifying if I heard him right. "Yeah why not? I've got plenty of space and it's not like we're strangers or anything. Plus your internship is only about ten minutes further from here than where you live now" he says, making good points as to why I should take him up on the offer.

"I couldn't possibly do that to you. I mean I wouldn't want to disturb your life like that. But thank you!" I say, shutting down the idea right away but he persists nonetheless.

"Again, I wouldn't offer if I didn't want to. You're more than welcome to stay here and you can even move upstairs into one of the bigger bedrooms. Plus I have a storage unit that I haven't really used so you can store any big pieces of furniture you might have" he continues, trying to convince me even more and when he sees that I am about to refuse again he comes up with a compromise.

"Stay one more night. Tomorrow's Sunday right? That way you won't have to worry about work or anything like that so we can just relax and talk about things over today and tomorrow and then you can decide what you'd like to do" he says and it gets me to think about it for a second which makes him hopeful and ultimately I end up accepting.

"I guess I could stay one more night" I say and he gives me a half smile which some how makes me more nervous than a full one and so I take the first sip of my coffee that has honestly gone cold by now.

"Perfect. Did you want me to go take you to your place to pick up some clothes that you might need?" he questions, jumping at the opportunity to be helpful. "No that's okay. I drove here so I have my car out front" I say, shutting his next offer down but he make another good point that has me second guessing myself.

"Are you sure you want to drive when you're hungover? I don't think I can let you do that" he says, falling into a protective mode which is endearing but I don't think I could take advantage of him like that since he's already done so much for me. "I'll be fine Jungkook don't worry" I say and he nods his head respecting my choice and I let out a breath, happy that I don't have to fight him on this one too.

"Okay, did you want to borrow some more of my clothes so you can shower before you go?" he questions and I smile awkwardly, happy that he offered but guilty that he yet again is helping me out.

"I'll be back in a sec" he chuckles and walks past me, placing a hand on my back as he passes by which makes me sit up straight at the feeling and I watch him as he jogs upstairs to go retrieve said clothes.

He comes down seconds later with the clothes, a towel and even a toothbrush in hand. "Thought you might want one of these too" he says and I accept it all sheepishly before excusing myself and making my way into the bathroom.

How am I even supposed to act in this kind of situation? Like my ex best friend's dad who I kissed last night while I was drunk is now offering to let me stay here so I can move out of the apartment I share with his toxic daughter that my boyfriend cheated on me with. Like this is just way too much weirdness for me.

I shake off those thoughts and get in the shower to quickly get rid of all of these roaming thoughts and just hope and pray that somehow things will work out and I can settle into a new normal with my own place as soon as possible but I guess that luck just isn't on my side these days...

~~~~

After getting out of the shower and getting dressed I dry my hair with the hair dryer I happened to find under the sink and try to make myself look as presentable as possible so when I go back home I don't look like the complete mess that I know I am on the inside.

There's no reason I should be showing any kind of weakness around Jina or Jared so I just need to get in and get out of there as fast as I can so I can avoid as much awkwardness as possible. Being hungover doesn't help this situation in the slightest so I just really hope that she's not even there.

Walking out of the bathroom I'm met with a freshly clean Jungkook, scrolling through his phone while sitting on the couch and he quickly turns his head once he notices I've finished up.

"You feeling okay" he asks, always concerned for my wellbeing and I guess I just need to chalk it up to the parent side of him. Maybe that's all this is? Maybe Jina hasn't really given him an opportunity to be her dad in a while so he's just seeing me as another daughter he wants to take care of. That makes a lot more sense so thinking about it now I think I can go into this with a lot clearer mindset than before.

"Yeah, I'm feeling a lot better thankfully" I say and head to the guest room where I stayed last night. "If you wanna just throw all of that into the washing machine I'll get a load going later on" he calls after me and I simply do as he asks and then head back into said bedroom.

"Hey Jungkook have you seen my phone?" I question while throwing the blankets around, trying to figure out where I could've put it. "Yeah you left it out in the living room last night so I put it on the charger when I woke up. Here" he says and I jolt at the sound of his voice being in the room with me, full on expecting him to still be on the couch.

"Thank you" I say while holding my hand out to take it with the other one placed over my heart, trying to calm down after the shock of him getting here so quickly. "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you" he chuckles and I wave off his apology, not seeing any need for it. "It's fine don't worry about it" I say and once I unlock it I see call after call after call after call from not only Jared but Jina, my mom and my sister, with just as many text messages to match.

"Looks like you're really popular today" he jokes, trying to make light of the situation. "Not for the right reasons" I mumble and lock my phone, not bothering to sift through the hundreds of notifications just yet.

"I've gotta head out and get a few things at the store so why don't you come with me? We can stop by your place to get your things and then this way you can help me pick out some groceries so we have stuff that you like as well" he says while grabbing his keys and instead of trying to refuse I simply nod and follow him outside.

We get in the car and drive silently to my place but once we get a bit closer I stop him. "Would you mind parking around the corner? It's just...well I don't want Jina to see you driving me around and make a big deal about it" he nods his head and without a fuss pulls into the coffee shop parking lot around the corner.

"Is this alright?" he questions and I nod and get out of the car. "Let me know if you need any help. She's my daughter so it's not like she would do anything drastic if I was around" he says, referring to her sometimes short temper. Plus with these added hormones there's no telling how she gonna be reacting to things now that everything is out in the open.

As I make my way to the apartment I check my phone to see if she's still sharing her location with me and thankfully she is and I see that she's still at work so hopefully if move fast enough I should be in and out before she comes home.

Walking into the apartment it looks as though she's started gathering her own stuff up in boxes, almost as if she's getting ready to move out. I appreciate the fact that since she fucked up that she automatically volunteered to move out but she's more than welcome to keep this place as far as I'm concerned.

I jog back into my room, reminding myself of the task at hand and I grab my duffle bag and start putting as many things as I think I'll need to get me through at least a few days in case anything happens. Better safe than sorry right?

My last stop is the bathroom where I pack up my shampoo and conditioner as well as my skincare products and throw it all into a plastic bag that I'm able to place easily on top of the rest of the items in the bag but before I'm even able to finish getting the rest of my toiletries together I'm greeted with the sound of Jina walking in.

"Y/n?" she calls out and I swear under my breath, trying to think of a way to make this whole situation as quick and painless as possible. "Y/n?" she says again, rounding the corner and finding me in the bathroom where I've started to pick up the pace and throw things in haphazardly wanting to get the fuck out already.

"What are you doing?" she questions me and I walk past her and back into my room and throw the bag in my duffle bag and zip everything up. "Please don't ignore me" she says in pretty much the most pitiful voice I've ever hear out of her and I scoff and roll my eyes. "You don't have the right to be acting like that. I'm moving out so don't bother moving out if you want the apartment" I say and throw on a baseball hat and walk out of my room and make a b line for the front door.

"Y/n please talk to me" she pleads and it's taking everything in me not to slap that 'poor me' attitude out of her. "You wanna talk? Let's speed this up for the both of us alright? You slept with my boyfriend behind my back, got pregnant and ruined my relationship and now I'm moving out. That pretty much covers everything if I'm not mistaken so let's just call this conversation over. I'll be back to pick up the rest of my shit later so don't touch anything" I say quickly without giving her a second to get a word in.

"When's later?" she asks and I roll my eyes at her pitiful excuse in trying to keep me here. "Whenever the hell I feel like it Jina. Sorry I can't make everything magically disappear right away" I say and turn to grab the handle but she just keeps going.

"Where are you staying?" she has the audacity to ask and I smile and shake my head at her stupidity. "Why would I ever tell you that? So you can come bother me with your lame excuses of apologizing. Or oh yeah even worse telling Jared where to find me so he can do the same thing. Why don't you guys do all of us a favor and stay the hell out of my life" I say and walk out the door, making sure to slam it right behind me.

While walking back to Jungkook's car I try my best to calm my breathing so I can hide what happened from him. There's no reason why he even needs to know that she showed up so might as well keep it to myself.

As I get closer to his car I watch as he looks up and sees me coming and gets out to grab my bag from me. "Is this everything you wanted?" he questions, taking it from me and placing it in the trunk. "Yep that's everything. Or at least enough to get me through the next few days" I say and get in the car with him following suit soon after.

"Are you okay?" he asks, concern now laced all over his expression. "I'm totally fine, why do you ask?" I question in the most awkward tone of voice I've ever heard come out of me. "Because you're shaking" he points out and grabs one of my hands, holding it between two of his.

"No it's okay I'm fine" I say, my voice now getting wobbly, matching the shakiness of my hands. "Something happened in there didn't it?" he asks and I shake my head but he raises a questioning brow at me which has me nodding a moment later, admitting to what happened. "Jina came home" I say and take a shaky breath in and out, trying to keep myself from crying.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" he questions and I quickly shake my head and he nods his and lets go of my hand and turns to start the car and pull out of the parking lot but as soon as we're on the main road again he reaches out for one of my hands and holds onto it again, not letting go until we get to the store.

~~~~~

Grocery shopping with him feels weirdly domestic and felt as though we had done it dozens of times before, with both of our methods on how to shop quickly and efficiently matching up perfectly and so time flies and before I know it we're already putting the groceries away in his kitchen.

"We make a pretty good team huh?" he says and tossing me an apple and I catch it in time, further proving his point. "I guess we do" I say amusedly and take a big bite out of it. "No I'm serious! I swear whenever I go alone I always end up forgetting one of the most obvious ingredients and with your help I don't think I forgot a single thing" he says taking a bite of the apple he had gotten for himself.

"Well I'm glad to have been of some help. I feel bad since you've been doing nothing but taking care of me for the past twenty four hours and I haven't been able to give you anything in return" I admit, twisting the stem of until it pops off.

"You've given me plenty in return" he laughs off, as if I had said something ridiculous. "Oh yeah like what?" I ask, taking another bite of the apple and leaning back against the counter.

"You've definitely given me quite a few laughs today" he says and I scrunch my eyebrows together knowing that he's just making fun of me. "And you've definitely made my day a whole lot more interesting. Plus I learned some new things about you" he says and I gulp at that last part, knowing I've definitely overshared with him quiet a few times.

"Like how you prefer green apples over red. How you prefer white bread over wheat and that you get shy whenever I get close to you" he lists off, the last one obviously catching me off guard.

"I-" I start but I'm frozen in place as he gets closer to me and I just realized how I've backed myself into a corner. "Jungkook I-" I try again but my efforts die in my throat when he places his hands on either side of my hips, trapping me against the counter, staring at me as if he hasn't eaten in weeks.

"Do you wanna tell me why that is?" he asks, tilting his head almost taunting me. "I don't know what you're talking about" I say, doing my best to remain level headed. "You sure about that?" he asks and I nod my head in response, not trusting my voice to stay steady this time. "Then why are you holding your breath?" he says while placing his hand on my neck and using his thumb to press down on my chin, encouraging me to open my mouth which I do with almost no hesitation.

"I don't know" I whisper but he leans in closer, bringing his lips closer to mine. "I think you're lying" he say, his warm breath fanning my face, promises of pleasure hidden behind those words and it has me whimpering at the thought.

"Y/n, earth to y/n" Jungkook says, bursting the bubble of the incredibly inappropriate daydream I had been having in front of him. "I-i'm sorry what was that?" I stutter, making it clear that I hadn't been paying attention.

"Maybe you're running a fever" he says, walking over to me and placing the back of his hand to my forehead, his cool hand causing a shiver to run down my spine. "What makes you say that?" I ask, looking up at him, taking in his features from our closer proximity. "Because you're burning up, and your whole face has gone red" he says and I feel my cheeks getting even more red at his observation.

"Are you feeling alright?" he asks, making purposeful eye contact with me. "Yeah I just, I think I need to go lay down for a while" I say, finding the easiest escape route possible. "That's probably a good idea. I shouldn't have kept you out for so long" he says, guilt clouding his expression and I take one of his hands in mine without giving it a second thought making him jolt for a second but tighten his hold around mine just seconds later.

"I'm fine don't worry" I say with a small smile, "It was my fault for drinking so much. If I'm ever around you again and there's alcohol involved could you do me a favor and stop me from drinking so much" I laugh, trying to lift his spirits and it seems to do the trick.

"Of course darling" he says and places a kiss on the center of my forehead. "Now go lay down, you really are burning up" he says, having felt the heat radiating off of me from the kiss he had graced me with. I smile up at him and nod my head before turning around and heading back to my room.

Living with him might not be so bad. It's been a while since someone's taken care of me or even shown me such simple kindness without needing anything in return. I'm not sure if it would be the smartest decision but I'm definitely warming up to the idea...

prev / next Series Masterlist Taglist: @jkslipppiercing @trina864 @kaitieskidmore97 @goddesofimortality @coolbluedude @00frenchfries00 @bangtans-momma @coralmusicblaze @pastelpinkjoon @joonwater @marvelbun @j3nni-rs @evidive @beomieboi @forevrglow @jesssssmaybankk @teugiie @chaconnelatte @whoa-jo @snehal @xumyboo @mindurbuzznezz @diorh0seokie

Join my Taglist!

Feel free to fill out the form or just comment on any of my fics to be added :)

539 notes · View notes

idkwhatever580 · 1 month

Text

Her pt. 1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pairings: Natasha romanoff x reader

Prompt: natasha meets y/n while undercover at a soup kitchen. What happens when hydra gets mixed in?

Warnings ⚠️: cursing, some angst, mentions of blood and gunshot, getting beat up? Tell me if there’s any more!!

Pronouns: she/her

A/N: guys this one is really long 😭 idk how many words tho. Idk how to find that out. Make sure to tell me if you like it and follow if you want to see my next post. (Idk when it will go up but I think I’m gonna do a part two)-> https://www.tumblr.com/idkwhatever580/749925326055948288/her-pt-2

Natasha’s Pov

Ugh. This is so stupid. I hate this room.

Fury thinks it is a good idea for us to stay in a stupid rinky dink motel to keep our identities safe.

I think it’s bullshit. The least he can give us is a days inn. But noooo we gotta stay in a one star motel that stinks and has horrible water pressure.

I look over at Clint and glare. He smirks at me and says

“Why the long face?”

I sneer and say

“You know exactly why. We’re stuck in this dump for another month!”

He chuckles and says

“We’ve already been here a month. What’s one more? I honestly think this place is growing on me”

I roll my eyes and say

“Of course you would end up liking this shithole.”

He comes over and nudges my shoulder and says

“Hey! Think about it this way. You get to see her for another month.”

I narrow my eyes at him when he puts on a cheeky grin.

I scoff and brush it off like normal. But Clint knows. He knows me. He knows that I like her.

Her.

I could think about her all day if I tried.

You see, Clint and I are on an undercover mission to investigate a possible hydra meeting place. We’ve been eating at this soup kitchen for weeks. Acting like we’re homeless so we can get info. Normally I would hate this job. And I do don’t get me wrong, but there’s this one volunteer. Her name is y/n.

Y/n.

Doesn’t that just roll right off your tongue? I wish she’d roll right on my tongue.

I shake my head to void myself of these thoughts. But it’s all in vain. She is so pretty.

Her smile is bright. Albeit her teeth might not be perfect but I think it makes her even better. She makes this whole thing bearable.

Her sweet face, and quirky remarks make me almost blush.

Almost.

Clint snaps in front of my face and I look up at him and he says

“Did you hear a single thing I said?”

I shake my head even though I want to say yes. Whatever he said could have been important.

He sighs and says

“Well. I’m going to take a shower. And try to see if the water actually heats up this time. If not. I’ll still be in there a while. I gotta take a shit. So if you need to use the bathroom I suggest you go now or forever hold your peace”

I chuckle a bit and shake my head and he grabs his towel and says

“Alright. Have fun thinking about y/n”

He goes off and I lie back on the bed. It creaks but I don’t care anymore. All I can think about is her.

I don’t know who she is. She seems well off. But she’s not mean. No. What mean person would willingly volunteer at a soup kitchen?

She is so tender. Always making sure all the homeless people get their fair share and if she thinks someone is looking a little skinny one day she’ll give them a bit more.

She always gives me a bit more. Then says she put too much. Clint thinks it’s just to see me a bit more. I think she’s just a bit tired by the time I get in line.

Her.

God. It’s only been a month and her beauty floods my senses. I remember the first time she hugged me.

She smelled like oranges and cupcakes.

She always stayed and sat with all the homeless people. Making sure to update herself on their lives.

Clint and I stay longer though. So she ends up talking to me. He kind of acts closed off. So that he can always be on guard.

He knows my senses are being let down by her. And he’s okay with it. I wish I wasn’t.

She talks of her life a lot. And I sometimes think I see her look at my lips but I shake it away and try to forget that telling myself I imagined it.

By the time I’m done day dreaming of her today, Clint comes out and says

“One. Do NOT go in there. And two. Let’s get ready to go”

I sigh and smile a bit. I know I’m gonna get to see her. I put on my ‘homeless attire’ and we leave the building.

We walk into the soup kitchen along with some of the others who are nice. I look around and my eyes zero in on y/n’s normal spot. I see her and she sees me at the same time

She smiles excitedly and waves at all of us but her eyes linger on me. I wave back shyly.

We go up and she portions our food while asking how everyone’s day has been.

When it’s my turn she portions my food and hands it to me and then says

“Oh! I think I gave you a bit too much. Here let me fix it.”

She brushes her hand across mine and for the first time. I blush.

I blush

Crap. I blushed.

Thankfully she doesn’t notice. But I know.

She hands it back to me and says “there you go sweets”

I smile shyly but I’m screaming inside. I thank y/n and scurry off to my undesignated designated spot. Clint sits by me and says

“Did you?”

I slap him in the arm and say

“Shut up Barton or I’ll kill you”

He giggles and hops away from me to eat his food.

After a while y/n comes up to me and says

“Hey girl! I finally finished the portions. Wanna talk?”

She always asks if I want to talk and I always nod my head. She sits down and start yapping while I smile and listen to it all. At some point she says

“My mom and I always had this deal. That if I ever sent a message to her with a lowercase x at the end, that means I am in danger. Thank goodness I never had to use it though.”

She quickly moves on to another topic just as fast as she got to the previous. I try to keep up with her.

As the soup kitchen closes for the day around 3 and we all leave. I leave with a smile on my face.

God she’s so pretty.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wake up in bed and smile. I look over at my alarm clock and realize I have only about thirty minutes left to get ready for the soup kitchen.

I hop out of bed and Clint smirks and says

“You’ve never slept that long. You good?”

I roll my eyes and say

“Fuck off”

We quickly leave for the soup kitchen and I walk in and look for y/n. My eyebrows furrow when she’s not in her normal spot.

I go over to Calvin, the soup kitchen owner and say

“Hey. Is y/n here today?”

He shakes his head and says

“No. Surprisingly she sent me a text this morning saying she’s not gonna make it. Look”

Calvin turns his phone towards me and I read the message.

Y/n Y/l/n

Hey! I’m so sorry this is last minute but I can’t come in today. Hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow! x

My eyes widen and I say

“Oh. Okay. Thanks Calvin.”

I quickly walk to Clint who is eagerly waiting in line for his food. I whisper to him.

“We need to go. Y/n is in danger.”

He looks at me confused and says

“What? You heard Calvin. He said she said she was fine.”

I shake my head and only now does Clint realize I am being serious.

“Aww but I just got to the front of the line”

Clint whines and pouts and I say

“If I let you grab this you better get a to go box. And hurry”

In a stern voice. He nods his head and gets his food quickly.

We head back to the motel. I pull out my emergency bag and grab the laptop. I’m only supposed to go online in emergencies and I dictate this as one.

I explain to Clint what is wrong and he nods his head in agreement. Y/n has never missed a day of the soup kitchen. Even when she was so tired she looked dead.

I quickly power it on and start looking into her socials.

It’s a wonder I haven’t looked her up until now. It’s actually a wonder that I haven’t even heard of her. She’s popular.

She’s a famous artist. Actress and Singer/songwriter. Her name is Y/n y/m/n y/l/n. She’s 24. Only three years younger than me. She acts in some really popular movies. Of course I never have watched them. Or else I would have probably recognized her. She writes and sings a bit. But not much.

I start digging deeper. I look at her most recent posts and I see that she posted on Instagram about the same time that she sent the message to Calvin.

I read the post and it’s a cute picture of her. From yesterday. That’s the outfit she wore and she took a quick selfie in it.

She added a paragraph and I scour it intensely.

Hey guys! I know I don’t do this a lot but I whant to come on heere and thank you for your dedication tol me. I’m so excited to have hit fifty milliopn follmowers on Instageram. It’sh truly an hyonor to be lovedd by so rmany of youa. xoxo x

I see how she has a bunch of misspelled words and I put two and two together. The misspellings put together make out a sentence.

Help me hydra x

I look back at Clint and he says

“Damn. That was easy. She’s smart.”

All the comments are either fawning over her or bullying her for having so many misspellings but I know. She’s communicating to me. To anyone who notices. And I am the person right now.

Thankfully, the hydra people are fucking stupid. And I’m highly trained in coding. So I am able to track her phone easily.

I pinpoint it at the soup kitchen. And then Clint grabs my shoulder and says.

“The back room. Y/n always talked about Calvin chilling in a back room that she caught a glimpse of once. She said it looked scary.”

I widen my eyes and my shoulders tense up say

“You think they’re stupid enough to keep her there?”

He nods his head and I shake mine and say

“Well. There’s no harm in trying. And we might get our mission done faster if we’re right.”

I quickly put on my suit as Clint puts his on in the bathroom. He walks up with his bow and arrow at the ready and he says.

“You ready?”

I nod my head stiffly and we hop in the run down car that we are only allowed to use in emergencies. Once again we both dictate this an emergency.

Clint drives as I map out a plan outloud.

“Okay. So we’re gonna split up. You go in the front. I’ll go in the back. See what we can find. I know our mission is to get intel but if y/n doesn’t make it out alive I’m gonna burn the whole city down.”

Clint chuckles a bit with his signature smile on and I raise my eyebrow and say

“What?”

He shakes his head and says,

“Well, it’s just- you really like this girl huh? I mean burning the city down is a pretty big thing to do. And that’s kind of odd for you. I didn’t think you’d be the type.”

I scoff and cross my arms and say

“We need to focus on the mission. And not the fact that I may or may not be down bad.”

He chuckles once more and then pulls into a spot away from the soup kitchen.

I run to the back and Clint runs to the front once we solidify our plan and then we both easily break in. The soup kitchen is usually open in case there is a homeless person who desperately needs shelter. Like if there’s a storm or something. Thankfully though Clint tells me through comms that there’s no one inside.

“I’m in”

I say when I pick the lock. I frown when I realize that this is gonna be an easy feat. I know not to let my guard down. Just in case.

I hear a crackle when the comms come on and Clint says,

“Hey nat… you’re gonna want to see this”

I put my finger on my earpiece and say,

“Did you find y/n?”

“No, but I found the intel we were definitely looking for. And a lot more.”

I frown and say,

“Okay put it on a drive then come find me. I’m in the west wing. Call a quinjet to pick us up.”

——————————————————————————

Nobody’s pov

Clint downloads the files to a usb drive and he kind of freezes for a moment as he sees the files of horrifying victims flow into it. There’s footsteps headed his way and he pulls out his arrows and prepares to shoot someone.

One set of footsteps quickly becomes about four and something he can quite pin he takes a breath prepared to fight.

The doors open so fast he doesn’t even have time to blink before he is shooting his arrows. He quickly downs four of them but he knows there’s a fifth.

He slowly looks around the area they came in and moves around the desk only to find a shaking ball of a human. He squats down and says

“Y/n?”

So softly she might not have heard it. She snaps her head up and says

“Cliff?”

She sniffles when she says his code name and he holds his hand out for her and says.

“It’s Clint. I know this is confusing and scary but we’ve got to find Natasha and get you out of here before anything else happens okay?”

She nods her head and says

“Is Natalie Natasha?”

Clint nods his head and presses his earpiece to tell Natasha that they’re done.

Natasha huffs and says

“Wow you just have to take all the credit huh?”

Clint giggles a bit and then grabs the full usb drive and starts walking out carefully. He looks back at y/n and says

“Are you coming or not?”

She is shaking and says,

“Uh. I- I think I can’t walk”

Clint finally realizes that she has a bullet in her thigh and it’s bleeding a bit but thankfully not enough to kill her. At least for now. He sighs and says,

“Alright. I’m gonna pick you up and we’re gonna fly to New York for a bit to get you healed.”

She nods her head and we head off.

Once Clint gets everyone on the quinjet y/n passes out.

“Fuck”

——————————————————————————

Y/n’s pov

I wake up in a hospital bed. I open my eyes a bit just to close them immediately. You’d think that they would turn the lights down or something.

I groan a bit and someone is at my side. I don’t even want to see who it is. I just want to get back to my home.

Which is what got me into this situation in the first place.

——————————————————————————

(Kind of flashback?)

I walked out of the soup kitchen. Everyone had left and I locked the door. I decided to walk there today so I started my trek back home. And then I realized I left my phone. So I went back and unlocked the door.

Calvin was in there. I assume he is just restocking or something and I say hi and asked if he has seen my phone.

He dangles it in front of my face and then puts a gun to my head.

Shit

He says I need to make a text to send to him so that nobody from the soup kitchen worries about me and then make a post so that my fans don’t think anything of my absence.

At this point. I probably won’t be making it out.

Yes I’m famous. And yes I have a lot of caring fans.

But nobody knows me well enough to even think of me. And by the time someone does. I’ll probably be dead.

He walks me to the back room that I’ve only seen once. Damn. I knew this was sketch.

His grip on my hands is so tight.

I didn’t even realize I have tears streaming down my face until he says

“Quit your whimpering. If you get us caught you’re dead”

I look up at him and say

“Us? There’s more?”

He scoffs and says

“Of course there’s more of us. Hydra doesn’t do loners. We’re not dumb enough. Now shut up or I’ll kill you and everyone else you’ve ever loved. Including your little Natalie”

That shut me up real quick.

Fuck my life.

He throws me in a cell and beats me up. I have so many cuts and bruises already.

He left me about an hour ago and now I’m just laying here on the concrete. By my calculations the soup kitchen will open in about 8 hours. Hopefully Natalie notices I’m gone.

She notices everything.

I know she’s homeless and I’m not but part of me wants to take her with me. Give her a new life.

Make her mine.

But she doesn’t like me like that. And that wouldn’t be fair to the other homeless people who have been here even longer.

Gran says I’m head over heels and I should court her. But she’s also a bit crazy.

But then again pops says she likes me back. And although pops is like never wrong, there’s always a first time for everything. I’m not so sure though.

God how am I thinking of her at a time like this? I’m actually daydreaming about a silly little (not so little) crush of mine while my life is at stake. Well, I have nothing else to do. So thinking about her it is.

Her

She’s so beautiful. Even when she has dirt all over her and her clothes look like they need more than just a little stitching and washing.

Natalie

It’s a pretty name but it honestly doesn’t fit her quite right. I just don’t know what other name would though.

Meh. I’m probably just being weird.

By the time I am finished thinking about her I fall asleep and I wake up and calculate it is already morning. Thank god. My calculations are confirmed when one of the guards brought me food for some reason. I ask him

“What time is it?”

He says,

“I’m not supposed to talk to you but it’s 10:46 am”

I nod my head and thank him.

I scarf the food down so I can hopefully get as much energy before they take it away from me. Maybe I’ll be able to stay alive longer.

After I’m finished Calvin walks in and says

“What do you know about Natalie?”

I frown and say

“Why?”

“You’re very close to her. And i want info on her. If you tell me everything you know I’ll let you go”

I consider my options. But clearly they want her info for something. I don’t want her to be in danger. She’s strong yes. But she’s also homeless. Nobody to care for her. And I don’t want her to die on my watch. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if one of my favorite people died because of me. Hoe selfish would that be.

So I say the bare minimum.

“I don’t actually know much about her. I usually do all the talking.”

He kicks me. Ouch.

“I think her favorite color is red. And her favorite food is whatever I cook. At least that’s what she says.”

Another kick. Ow.

Calvin gets a bit mad and says.

“The soup kitchen is about to open. I’m gonna go get the food prepared and you’re going to think about every little thing she’s ever told you. And about that cliff dude too.”

I glare at him and say

“He never talks. You think I know anything? I’m just a stupid girl.”

He sneers and says

“If you don’t come up with anything good you better kiss your little girlfriend goodbye.”

I frown and curl into a ball as he leaves.

I mumble

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

What can I find that will seem plausible that isn’t true about her.

——————————————————————————

Time jump to after soup kitchen closes and Calvin comes back.

“Tell me everything you know bitch”

I spit at him and say

“I don’t know anything about them”

He gets really angry at that and he kicks me in the head.

I’m shaking really bad already. That’s gonna hurt way worse later. If I make it to later.

After more and more berating he finally has enough and pulls out a gun. I cry and sob and say

“Pl- please no. Calvin you’re better than this! It’s okay I won’t tell anyone! I promise just let me go. Please”

I beg but he doesn’t give in. He points the gun at me and shoots.

It hits me in my thigh and I scream. I scream and I scream and he says

“Shut up bitch. Nobody can hear you. They won’t hear you when you scream.”

I cry but I quiet down. Clearly there’s no point in using my voice. I’m just gonna die anyways.

Suddenly there’s a guard running to Calvin and he whispers something to him. Calvin looks at me and says

“Get up bitch. You’re coming with us”

Three more guards come and pick me up and start marching me away from whatever it is they’re scared of. They open a door and then I fall on the ground. They dropped me for some reason but I don’t care. I curl up into a ball and then a soft voice calls my name.

I look up and say

“Cliff?”

——————————————————————————

And that’s how I ended up here.

I’m in a hospital bed. Somewhere. Probably safe.

I finally open my eyes and see Natalie. Well. Natasha.

That name fits her better. Now I know why I felt that way. She’s still so pretty.

But she’s in a black catsuit. It shows off her curves. I look away because I don’t want to objectify her or anything.

She smiles and says

“You’re awake”

I can tell that she wants to say something else but doesn’t know if she can.

I look at her and say.

“Yeah. What happened?”

“Well. You obviously know you were kidnapped by hydra.”

I nod my head and don’t let her finish. I’m clearly hurt when I say

“Why did you lie to me?”

She sighs and says.

“I’m sorry. You have every right to be mad at me. I lied because I am an avenger. We’re in New York City at the avengers tower. I can take you home as soon as you’re cleared. But for now I’m going to explain okay?”

I nod my head and let her speak.

“Since I am an avenger and a highly ranked spy, I sometimes have to go on missions undercover. My name is Natasha romanoff. My alias’ are Natalie rushman, black widow and others. I was recently undercover with my friend and coworker Clint Barton. His alias’ are cliff barren and Hawkeye.”

She pauses and then continues

“We were looking to find intel. We had a hint that hydra, the people that took you, were there. Thankfully you were able to send a message out before they took you. They’re dumb. So I tracked you the second I knew you were in danger.”

I frown and say

“So you lied about not knowing who I was?”

She shook her head and says

“I only found out who you were after you sent that message. Because I looked you up on my emergency computer. So no. I didn’t lie about that. Y/n you are very brave and strong. Most people wouldn’t have made it out of there. Most people didn’t.”

I nod my head and say

“So. How long have I been out?”

“About a day and a half. Clint and I went to the soup kitchen the past two days to make sure everyone was okay. It’s under new management already. She’s nice. Her name is Mary. We cleared out hydra and everything and everyone at the soup kitchen is okay.”

I nod my head and say

“That’s good.”

I frown and say

“What now?”

She sighs and sits down and says

“Well. You have a few options after you’re cleared. Continue on with life and forget all about us. Or, we can create a new safe soup kitchen and you can start creating houses for the homeless. Give them new opportunities. Get some of them into rehab. Follow your dream. Fully paid of course, courtesy of Tony Stark and SHEILD considering you helped us get one of the biggest bouts of information in a very short amount of time.”

My eyes light up and I say

“Wait… you… you listened to me when I was talking?”

Natasha nods her head and says

“I don’t know if you noticed but I notice everything. When you talked about your dreams of retiring as an actress to help the needy, it was so moving. It’s a good dream. And I want to help you achieve it.”

I sit up carefully and say

“I’m so excited I could just kiss you!”

I realize what I said and then say

“Oh shit. I didn’t- I don’t- I didn’t mean that”

Natasha says

“Really? Because I would have done it if you did mean it.”

I widen my eyes and point at her a little dumbfounded and say

“You- you wanna- I-l”

She smirks and walks up to my hospital bed and leans into me. She stops just before to silently ask permission and I nod my head.

She presses her lips softly into mine and they’re softer than clouds. She pulls away softly and I giggle like a school girl and say

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

Natasha raises her eyebrow and says

“Even when I was covered in dirt and smelled like shit?”

I shrug my shoulders and say

“I think it adds to your charm. You’re a cutie”

We hear a chuckle from the doorway and Clint walks in. He smirks and says

“I don’t think anyone has ever called Natasha romanoff a cutie and made it out alive.”

Natasha rolls her eyes and says

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Nobody called me anything”

I giggle and say.

“Natasha?”

She immediately looks at me and I say

“Do you think I can really do that homeless shelter?”

She nods her head and says

“I know you can.”

I smile realizing a whole new chapter of my life is about to start. And it’s gonna be great.

All because of her

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: whew!! Damn that was long. I hope y’all liked it!!! Please tell me if there are any warnings I missed. I think I’m gonna do a part two of the next chapter in y/n’s life. I really just write whatever I’m thinking about lol. My anons are in fact open. I don’t have too many requirements. But expect to have a happy ending lol I’m so sappy 🤷‍♀️🩷

#avengers #fanfic #marvel #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader

180 notes · View notes

luffyvace · 4 months

Text

MORE LUFFY RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS

Yeahhh!!! Luffy hcs we’re what my first ever hcs were about! Look how far I’ve come! I love Luffy and I’m so proud of myself! enjoy these Luffy hcs lovely readers <3

Bathing together is SUPER FUN

and messy

you have lots (too many) bubbles

and yes bath toys

even stuff that’s not supposed to be in the bath-

like sticks-

let him tell it they’re swords

he personally doesn’t bathe bc he doesn’t care

even if its mandatory seeing as though no one wants to smell all that funk 😀

so he canonly bathes once a week right??

with you !! He can bathe at any time!

why? Cuz it’s funn 😆😆

you turn it into a game! an adventure!

so now he looks forward to bath time ;3

luffy splashes water everywhere

I wouldn’t be surprised if the ceiling is drenched with that dude’s strength 😂🤦‍♀️

it takes you FOREVER to clean up

but you know what takes even longer?? GETTING HIM OUT THE BATH

”AWWW but we were having sooo much FUUUUN (NAAAAAME)”

actually it did take a long time til you found a cheat code 😋

tell him sanji’s making food!!

ez way to get him out 😎

The final boss tho??

is getting him to help out with cleaning the mess up

especially after you told him there’s food around🧍‍♀️

Now bro’s DEFINITELY not listening 🙉

unless you use another cheat code (saying you’ll tell sanji not to give him any meat til he helps clean up)

your not getting any help buddy..

he’s already gone by the time you get him out the bath 🤷‍♀️

but again! If you use cheat code no.2 you can get him to help :)

which leads me to…!

Cleaning together !!

which turns into a game too :P

well, more like a competition-

Because that’s the only way you’ll keep him from getting bored and complaining instead of actually cleaning

even with meat on the line 🤭

‘it’s just so boriiiiiiiing ☹️‘

- according to luffy

so yes! You propose a competition!

and whoever cleans the fastest wins the prize of…….you guessed it! MEAT!

now he’s up like a whirlwind, swiping up all the soap with a towel and water with tissue 😏

you probably don’t even have to do anything anymore 😜

he may have won the battle but you won the war

eating together can also sometimes be a competition

now you can win by playing it smart like Uta

or just agree so he can leave you to eat, without actually trying

but if it’s not a competition…it’s certainly a war..

and I mean the dangerous one every straw hat goes through each time sanji calls in for food..

Luffy stealing your food!!!

😦😦

no but seriously, not even you, Luffy’s s/o gets the benefit of the doubt⁉️

it’s every man for himself in the dining room 😂😂

if your intelligent, depending on if your more like Robin or Nami you’ll either be unbothered about his antics or super annoyed

with being unbothered you’ll have a lot more peace of mind

and luffy will probably get away with more of his tomfoolery because you put up with him 😆👍

however with a s/o more like nami who gets annoyed easily, yeah he’s not getting away with any of that

thankfully for her, nami has less to stress over now (you take 50% it’s a requirement)

If your more carefree like luffy

i can guarantee you’ve got on like every straw hats nerves at least once

oddly enough I have a feeling you haven’t been able to bother brook just yet

dude’s 90 he got bigger problems..

but yes you terrorize everyone (even outside the straw hats) whether it’s intentional or not

if your strong it’s a relief for luffy not to have to worry about you and he’ll send you to defeat some guys, protect the ship or protect one of your weaker Nakama

he highly believes in you and your capabilities likes he believes in Zoro 👍

he also doesn’t have to worry about strong attacks hurting you as badly or if you go off on your own/get lost or separated or smth

especially as his s/o

if your weak he probably worries about you a little bit more but all the straw hats can handle themselves to some sort of extent

and he knows for sure you won’t go down without a fight!

and that you can at least hold over until he gets there

then he’ll beat the crap outta those guys!

he always tells someone strong to go with you to fights or what might be dangerous

if he doesn’t have to be somewhere for some reason, he’ll go himself!

he just wants to know your safe :)

Luffy loves you because your you! and he really just appreciates that fact in itself.

he looks past physical appearances completely and goes straight for personality

and even then he doesn’t judge that!

point is, no matter what type of anything you are, Luffy loves you because he just does.

he gets a funny feeling in his stomach and he gets extra excited!

Luffy loves you.

He simply does.

and there’s no explaining why.

These were short but sweet<3

to which i hope you enjoyed them💗

243 notes · View notes

echobx · 2 months

Text

broken heart (3) - a JJ Maybank blurb

summary: JJ goes to apologize to y/n

warnings: swearing, JJ being a little shit (just a tiny bit), lowkey fighting, angsty vibes (?)

word count: 1.5k

author's note: fact is,,,, idk what I'm doing because I have never written like this but I hope you guys like it (also is somehow longer than I intended)

part 1 | part 2

A simple knock against your window before it was pushed open and JJ climbed inside like he had done so many times before.

You were in the shower, and he could hear you sing along to your music like you always did, but this time it felt different. It wasn't as much background noise to him as it had been most times.

He kept listening as he settled on your bed; shoes off because he knew how much it annoyed you when he made your bed dirty.

All the while you had no clue about anything that was happening in the room next door and kept humming while wrapping yourself in a towel and walking back to your room. The small house had thin walls, but just this one time you were blessed with your parents being out on their monthly date night. You could be as loud or as quiet as you wanted without anyone saying anything about it.

You walked in, not turning on the light and therefore not taking notice of the boy in your bed, who was eyeing you carefully.

But JJ took notice of every little move you made. How you seemed to dance towards your closet. How you dropped your towel before pulling the long shirt over your body. Especially, how you hadn't put anything else but the old shirt on. It wasn't like he didn't know you were hot, but he had also never told you that he did think it, too scared of crossing a line. But he couldn't stop the heat that was rising in him as he thought of all the things he could do if he was of the lesser decent sort.

You walked over to your bed, phone in your hand and not paying any attention to your surroundings while sitting down.

“I'm not gonna text you first, dumbass. It's your fault, not mine,” you muttered to yourself before slamming the phone in the pillow next to you and letting yourself fall back.

You screamed as you jumped back up after having fallen backwards into someone who shouldn't even be there. Turning around and switching on your nightlight you looked down at the boy in your bed and huffed. “Jesus! JJ, what- Why are you here?”

“Am I not allowed to?” he asked, maybe a bit too cocky considering the fact that he had snuck in and was still lying in your bed.

“No. Your privileges got revoked for an indefinite amount of time,” you snarled, and he sat up, pulling his legs up and placing his arms on his knees while looking straight at you.

“You gonna kick me out?” he was still smirking, and it was making your blood boil a bit.

“How long have you been in here?”

“Not long, cute ass tho,” he chuckled, and you couldn't help the fact that you turned crimson.

“Leave,” you said trying to regain composure, but he knew you too well, knew you wouldn't actually kick him out.

But he did eventually get up, walking over to you and brushing a strand of hair from your face; something he had never done before, at least not like he did now. He was careful and gentle and nothing like the teasing ass who usually just destroyed your hair in passing.

“I came to apologize,” JJ whispered.

“Good, tell me what you are apologizing for?” you taunted him, because you were aware that he had never picked up on it. On how much more you liked him than he liked you.

“For being an asshole,” he replied.

“Lukewarm. Take another guess,” you glared at him, at the blue eyes that seemed so much prettier than any others you had ever looked at.

“For nearly getting myself hurt.”

“Warmer, but still not it.”

“Then tell me,” he asked, and you stepped back, shaking his hand off, that had remained close to your face just to twirl some of your hair.

You huffed before looking back at him. “Why should I? That's always been it. You don't see me, not even when it's important. You always look past me, and I'm not doing that anymore. I'm not waiting around anymore. I'm not gonna do it. And it's so dumb, so incredibly stupid of me to think you'd ever look at me like that.”

“Like what?” JJ was a little confused again, because he hadn't expected this. He had played the scenarios in his head. And each time you had forgiven him, and you moved on together, best friends again, like it had always been.

“I'm- You hurt my feelings, JJ. I'm your best friend, I think that should mean more to you than it does. And I don't need to have to want more from you than that just to care about you. And I care so much. Too much, maybe.” You shook your head, clawing at your scalp as you tried to not lose yourself in the new wave of heartache that was rolling in on you.

“I'll try to not get hurt again. Is that it? Is that what you want?” JJ asked and stepped closer again.

“Yes,” you said firmly.

“Then why did you shake your head just now?” His eyebrow was lifted as he nodded towards you, but you hadn't even caught yourself doing it. It was a subconscious decision, a bad one at that.

“I don't know,” you whispered, and he stepped even closer.

“I think you do.” His warm breath was fanning over your lips, and you had to gulp.

“I’m not your girlfriend or whatever,” you hushed, and a small smile slipped over his face.

“No, you're not.”

“And I'm not a side piece either. I'm not to be thrown away. I'm to be handled with care,” you kept your voice low, heart racing and feeling the heat rise in you, filling your head and heart and more delicate parts that you didn't even want to think of.

“You're worse than a girlfriend,” JJ laughed silently. “Girlfriends usually don't know this much bullshit about their boyfriends.”

“Keeping a few secrets is supposed to be healthy in a functional relationship,” you said and absentmindedly wet your lips while doing so.

“I bet you got some for the both of us,” JJ replied, leaning in closer, but you stopped him before he could do something that would ruin your friendship.

“JJ, no,” you held him at an arm's length.

“What do you mean no?” he furrowed his brows.

“I'm not going to destroy years of friendship for a quick fuck.” Your words felt like a slap to his face.

“What then? Tell me what you want, woman!” he begged, tugging at his hair, and it was truly the first time you had seen him actually desperate.

“I want to not get my heart broken just because you're pissed. I want to feel admired and not have only ever one date and be ghosted for no reason. I want to be loved, JJ. I want all of that and I don't think that should be too much to ask for.” The words flowed out of you before you could even register them, but it didn't matter because it was the truth and that's all he ever asked of you.

“But you already have all that,” JJ replied almost inaudibly, feeling his throat close up on all the feelings coming up, ones he had suppressed for years.

“Where?” you huffed, and his face contorted with a type of pain you had never seen on him before. It was like he was fighting himself over it.

“Me, all right. I-” he turned and looked away. “I do, I mean- Fuck, okay. I love you, y/n.”

“I know, we are best friends. You love me and JB and Pope and Kie and Sarah and Cleo. It's what we do. It's nothing special.”

JJ turned to look at you again. There was no doubt that you truly believed the words you had just uttered. That the only way you thought he could ever love you, was as a friend. What he hadn't expected was that it would hurt as much as it did to hear it. His heart was squeezing in his chest like it hadn't in a very long time, and when he clawed at it, you came to help, like you always did. Wrapping your arms around him for comfort was like second nature to you both.

And as you stood there, his head buried in your neck, hearts beating against each other. He finally found his courage again. Because it didn't matter how hurt you were, you'd always come back to him, and he'd always return to you, no matter what.

JJ pulled away just enough to hold your face in his callused hands, the cold rings softly indenting your cheeks. “I love you,” he whispered and connected his lips to yours without asking for permission, because he was too scared that you would start turning his words around again.

please don't copy and/or post my work onto other platforms! ~e©ho

part 4

taglist: @ijustwantttoread @spideysimpossiblegirl @redhead1180 @kys4-20

PS: yes I intend on writing a fourth part, but only cause I ended on a cliffhanger to make myself feel like I actually need to write it and not leave you guys hanging

#jj maybank #obx #my writing #outer banks #jj maybank x reader #obx fanfiction #~fanfiction #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank x you #jj mayback imagine #jj maybank blurb

98 notes · View notes

moons-dunes · 8 months

Text

Needy

For Kinktober - Prompt: Brat Taming

Kinktober Masterlist

18+ Only MDNI

Pairing: Brat!Steven Grant x reader

Summary: Under that sweet exterior, Steven has a bratty streak. And you’re more than glad to put him back in his place.

WC: ~1.3k

A/N: I’ve never seen anyone write Steven as a brat which is surprising given how sassy he is, so I tried my hand at it. I have a love hate relationship with this one.

This work contains: Bratting and taming obvi (pretty light as far as brat and brat taming goes), dom reader, use of sex toys (vibrating cock ring, ball gag, and soft restraints), mommy kink because I’m a degenerate, bordering on edging and overstim due to the nature of cock rings, orgasm denial and control, riding, PiV, bit of begging and tears for flavor, feel like I have a responsibility to say that if you’re using cock rings in real life that y’all should be careful and do your research. Please let me know if I missed anything!

Your fingers tapped the keyboard of your laptop at a quick pace as you sat at the kitchen table, your eyes scanning each word you wrote. You were so close to finishing your latest chapter, then you could finally post it.

You were so focused on the screen in front of you, you didn’t even look away when you felt warm arms wrap around your middle.

“How’s it going, love?” Steven’s soft voice came through the silence, and he rested his chin on your shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m almost done,” you responded quietly, only half paying attention.

However, Steven was feeling particularly needy.

He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, pressing his lips to your skin. That broke your attention away for half a second.

“Steven, honey,” you started, tempted to lean into his sweet touch. “Give me a little bit longer. I’ll be done soon.”

He pressed his forehead into your shoulder instead, his hair tickling your face. You could feel how heated his skin was, giving you a pretty good idea of what the problem was.

“Mommy will take care of you in a bit, baby,” You promised sweetly, grabbing his hand and pressing a gentle kiss to the back of it. “Be a good boy and wait.”

You knew that he wouldn’t, he had been sassier than usual all day. That bratty streak he hid under that sweet and innocent demeanour came out to play sometimes, waiting for you to put him back in his place. And you were more than happy to do so.

He huffed against your shoulder, standing upright again and unwrapping himself from you.

“It’s alright,” he sighed, walking towards the bedroom. “I can take care of things myself. Not a big deal.”

He didn’t see the mischievous smirk that crossed your face.

“Steven,” your tone turned firm, warning him. “You know what happens when you touch yourself without permission. Get back here.”

He looked back at you with a defiant glare and a cocky grin.

“What if I don’t?” He challenged you, crossing his arms over his chest.

And that was how he ended up in his current situation.

His muffled moans made you look up from your laptop, to where you had him sat in the other kitchen chair. Padded leather cuffs held his hands behind his back, keeping him from removing the vibrating ring around his hard and leaking cock.

He clenched his teeth down on the ball gag you strapped to his head, tensing as he reached another orgasm that was ultimately ruined by the silicone ring around his cock.

You weren’t counting but you were sure it had been at least four or five by now. Of course you had been watching and listening to him like a hawk for any signs of actual discomfort.

“Are you still okay?” You asked again as you looked over his quivering form, the view from your seat making you almost embarrassingly wet.

It took a second, but he nodded.

“Good. I'm just about done,” you let him know, and you could see the relief in his wide, teary brown eyes. “Hopefully you’ve had time to decide if you’re going to behave or not.”

Your eyes went back to the screen in front of you, making sure everything was good before you finally hit the ‘post’ button. Closing your laptop and getting up, you slowly walked over to him.

You looked him over with a smirk, watching his chest heave and his thighs tremble. His skin glistened with sweat, his stray curls sticking to his forehead and neck. He looked up at you with doe eyes, a couple tears falling down his cheeks.

“Mommy’s going to take care of you now baby,” you purred, cupping his cheek in your hand. He leaned into the touch immediately, squeezing his eyes shut. You pressed a kiss to his forehead before you moved your hand down lower.

His cock was red and leaking precum, you wouldn’t doubt if it was starting to get painful. You didn’t want to leave him like that for any longer.

You turned off the vibrator on the ring before carefully taking it off, a raspy cry of relief escaping Steven as you did so.

You removed the gag next, putting both it and the ring to the side to properly clean and put away later.

“That’s probably much better,” you soothed him, petting his damp hair and brushing it out of his face. “Now, you were awfully naughty earlier. Did my boy learn his lesson?”

Steven caught his breath, the relief of blood rushing back to his cock still pouring over him.

“Yes,” he choked out, his voice rough.

“What do you say?” You prompted, lifting his chin with a single finger.

He looked so pretty like this.

“Th-thank you, mommy,” he stuttered out, making you smile.

“Are you going to disobey me again tonight?” You questioned with a raised brow, and he shook his head quickly. “You better not.”

You stripped yourself slowly, dropping each piece of clothing to the floor one at a time. You gave Steven a warning glare when you heard him whine, and he quickly snapped his mouth shut again.

You could be so mean when you wanted to be, and he absolutely loved it. He loved that you weren’t afraid to get rougher with him, rather than treating him like he was made of glass.

You positioned yourself on his lap, grabbing his shoulders firmly. He let out a mewl when the top of his oversensitive cock brushed against your wet entrance, and a yelp when you dropped down onto him in one swift movement. You planted your feet on the floor and started bouncing, pulling broken and raspy moans from him.

“All this just for some attention,” you spoke through gritted teeth, digging your nails into his skin. “My needy boy.”

You let out a relieved moan when you found the right angle, moving your hips faster. Steven’s head fell to your shoulder as he choked back his own frustrated groans.

“I.. I,” his words died in his throat, his hands yanking at the restraints that held him. “Please!”

“Not yet,” you ordered, one of your hands gripping his hair and pulling his face away from your skin. You used the leverage you had to tilt his head back, your lips immediately going to his exposed throat. You didn’t bother being gentle, nipping and sucking at his soft skin.

Steven whined louder as holding back his climax became almost impossible, his cock still so sensitive and hard.

You decided to have a little bit of mercy on your boy. He was being good for you, after all.

“Go ahead, baby boy,” you allowed him, and with that he came with a broken shout. You bounced as fast as you comfortably could, bringing yourself to your own orgasm as his cum messily spilled out of you.

He fell against you as much as he could with the restraints still holding him, little high pitched moans escaping with each breath he let out as you kept riding him. When you stopped moving your hips, you both let out a shaky breath.

Once you regained your composure, you freed him from the restraints that held him and helped him into bed. You made sure he drank some water, and cleaned the both of you up a bit. You could worry about the rest later.

When you crawled into bed with him, he clung to you like a koala. You wrapped your arms around him and held him tight, pulling a soft blanket over both of you.

“Was I good?” He asked quietly, his face nuzzled against your chest.

Bless his heart.

“Yes, Steven,” you assured him gently, pressing a tender kiss to the top of his head. “You’re my good boy.”

#sub steven grant #steven grant smut #steven grant x reader #steven grant #moon knight smut #moon knight x reader #moon knight #kinktober 2023 #kinktober

250 notes · View notes

babybluebex · 2 months

Note

ok wait but now imagining paul not so subtly trying to get dom to ask out costar!you 😭😭 like imagine dom's just too nervous to ask you out to dinner or something after wrapping up a scene and paul's like 😒 and ASKS FOR DOM 💀 so paul going "hey, dom invited me out for dinner, which of course i'm flattered, but im a bit too old for him.....you should take my place!" and dom in the background looking absolutely mortified. cue confused reader !!

i also have been hallucinating this one small moment where you finished filming a bit later in the day compared to dom so you didn't get to eat yet. you show up to your trailer and see dom and he's like "finally im starving! burgers or pizza?" and you're like "girl what." and he's like "you haven't eaten yet and i wanted to eat with you" and you're just like "WHAT!" (🥹) and he's like "so pizza AND burgers?"

idk i need to go to sleep.

ugh my FAV idea is paul and da'vine watching you two being IDIOTS who don't see that you're falling for each other, and you tell da'vine how much you like dom but you're too nervous to say anything, and dom tells paul that he doesn't think he's good enough for you, and paul and da'vine collude to get yall together bc CLEARLY yall aren't gonna do it on your own

just little things at first, filming a scene outside and paul mumbles to dom "she looks cold... maybe you oughta give her your scarf" and dom does it without hesitation, and you smile at dom and paul is like success, or you and da'vine are cooking (bc ALL THE FOOD IN THE MOVIE WAS REAL AND AT LEAST PARTIALLY COOKED BY DA'VINE) and she "accidentally" overcooks a pan of brownies, and she says "go give them to the boy, he'll eat em" and you do, and dom is all red in the face and adores the gesture, and da'vine is back in the kitchen thinking like those kids are SO dumb

and it escalates in their poking and prodding, and dom tells paul one night "i just— i've never had any luck with girls" and paul is like "jesus christ, kid, see the writing on the wall! for the past six weeks, you've been worshiping this girl and she's been the same, and we wrap in a week, either ask her to dinner or shut up about it!" and he settles down and goes "sorry, that was mean. what i meant was—" but the snap of reality was exactly what dom needed to get off his ass, and he goes and finds you that very moment, and you're sitting chatting with da'vine, and you smile at dom as he enters the room "hey man! what's up?" and you notice his red cheeks and the intense look on his face, and you start to ask what's the matter, but he beats you to it, grabbing your face and kissing you, and you initially push him away "what the hell?" and he just all in one breath says "i think you're really beautiful and you're funny and silly but so caring and passionate, you take care of me even when you don't need to, because why would you need to, i'm a grown man, i can take care of myself, but i love the way you play with my hair and fall asleep on my shoulder during movie night, and we wrap in a week and i don't think i could live with myself if i didn't at least tell you how i feel, and paul says you feel the same way, and i usually believe whatever he says without hesitating, but i sorta worry he's wrong about it, so—" and you kiss him again to keep him quiet and you can't see her behind you, but da'vine is grinning bc fucking finally

and dom is a SWEETHEART when it comes to that second part. you had to film a scene that went on longer than expected, and dom has been wrapped for the day for a while, and the shoes you wore for the scene hurt your feet and you're tired and your body hurts and you just wanna lay down, and you get to your trailer and see the light on inside when you know you left the light off that morning, and you go in, and dom's got it all set up for you, an ocean of blankets on the couch and a pizza on your counter, and he's on the couch, remote in hand, navigating thru netflix, and you're like "the fuck is this?" and he's all puppy eyes at you "i knew you had a hard day, so i wanted to... i don't know, make it easy or something. i got your favorite pizza, and i washed these blankets so they smell nice and they just came out the dryer so they're still warm, and i'm trying to find that show you like but i can't find it, how do you spell 'derry'" and your face crumples up as you start to cry, and dom's face goes WHITE and he shoots up "oh god, i'm sorry, what did i do?" and he comes over and gingerly hugs you, and you cry into his neck and can barely gasp out "n-nothing's wrong, i-i'm just tired!" and he shushes you "maybe a little hangry too?" and you just "mhm" into his skin "that's what i thought, honey, c'mon sit down, i've got you" and that makes you cry harder and he's just sorta "... i'm really bad with girls, do you want me to let go and kick rocks, or..." and you just whimper "i've never had a boyfriend be so nice to me" and dom feels his heart shatter "jesus, really? what sorta guys have you been dating? cuz i— look at me, baby, look into my eyes— i like you. a whole lot. but i care about you too, and i care about the fact that you feel like shit and had a bad day, and because i like you so much and i care about you, i just wanna... just wanna make sure you're ok. ok?" and you sniffle and nod, and he ducks his head to get his face in your lowered eyeline "ok??" and you sorta huff out a laugh "oh, c'mon, you can do better than that. i'm not letting go of you until you give me a real laugh. even if it's fake, pretend it's real" and you roll your eyes and he sorta shakes you "c'mon, you can do it. or do i need to start singing at you? because i can!" and you start to slink away from him, but he pulls you in close and kisses your head "go get into some pjs, i brought one of my shirts for you to wear, it's on your bed with those sweatpants you wear all the time" and by the time you get changed and grab a slice of pizza and get settled on the couch in dom's arms, you realize he's not eating "you're not hungry?" "nah not really..." and it's only after you're full that he reveals the truth to you "i haven't eaten all day. i wanted you to eat all you wanted and not have to worry about me :)"

#i need to sleep too bestie #bex answers #anon ask #dominic sessa x reader

61 notes · View notes

tarjapearce · 10 months

Note

Hii! So here it is the one shot thing i was talking about. Took longer than i expected cause i was at work most of the time. It's also longer than what i intended but i wanted to flesh it out as much as possible. I wanted also to add smut but I'm really bad at writing it so i thought better save myself the embarrassment😅. Anywho i hope you enjoy and hopefully it's not terrible 🙈

Miguel has been working very hard in cherry baby's dad's ranch and it's starting to get to him. The stress, the heat, the exhaustion at the end of the day and so on. The only thing that's been giving him strength is his special girl. She's been busy herself lately but still tries to see Miguel as much as she can. Not enough for him though and that makes him as grumpy as can be. Cherry baby notices this so she goes to talk with him about it. His sour mood however has gotten so bad that even cherry baby can't fix it. She tries to be her sweet self but he's just being an ass.

"Hii!" cherry says with lilt in her voice when she approaches the barn.

"Hey." is all she gets in return from a Miguel looking at his board and writing something on it.

This takes cherry a bit off guard so she gets closer to him.

"Whatcha doin?" she asks sweetly, swinging back and fort on her feet.

"Work." replies Miguel, again not even looking at her.

This really starts to bother cherry baby so she confronts him.

"Okay what's going on? Why are you acting as if I'm not even here? Are you mad at me or something?"

"What? No, I'm just busy. Why do i have to be mad at you? I just have work to do." Miguel snaps.

Cherry looks up at him taken aback and she feels her eyes getting wet the more she stays.

"Fine. Do your work. Sorry i bothered you." she says and leaves the barn with not a single apology from Miguel.

That day cherry was in a shitty mood as well and her parents and everyone else who worked at the ranch could see it. This went on until evening. Cherry baby barely ate her dinner and her both her parents took notice. After dinner her mother went to her daughters room to check up on her

"Mija? Is everything okay?"

"I'm fine, mama." cherry says, laying in bed with her back to the door of her room.

"Something is bothering you, i can tell." her mother pushes on

"No nothing is wrong, I'm fine. Please just leave me alone." cherry baby insists.

"Do you think I'm stupid? How can i leave my daughter, knowing she's upset about something?" she says walking towards her daughters bed.

"It's really nothing, mama. Everything's fine."

Cherry baby's mom looks at her quizzingly

"Does it have something to do with the ranch boy?"

Cherry's eyes widen a bit and she quickly goes to say

"No! No it doesn't! Can you please leave me alone, mama. I'm okay, please!"

Cherry's mom sighs

"Well okay then. If you want to talk about it you know where i am." she says and goes to hug her sweet daughter.

"However if it has anything to do with that ogre-"

"Mama!"

"Don't "mama" me, young lady! Ay dios mio, you have such better options than him. Why not give those guys a chance? At least flirt with them a little. Who knows maybe you'll like them better than that animal! " she says walking to the door

"It's not about him, okay?" cherry says thinking to herself "it's totally about him"

"Yeah yeah. Don't forget to pray tonight. Maybe God will knock some sense into you" she said as she left the room.

That night cherry baby did pray and as she was going to bed, God did knock some sense into her. She decided to listen her mom for once.

The next day cherry baby was getting ready to go out into the ranch. She put her new white dress (the one i showed you, if you remember👀) her little brown cowboy hat and boots. She went out and headed to where the horses were. Of course Miguel was there. Seeing her in this new dress his eyes almost did pop out doing a double take. Cherry took notice of his reaction however she only gave him a side eye and went to take care of Luis. Miguel is looking at her like a hawk. Every curve of her body, every step, every sway of her hips. He was shamelessly staring. Cherry bent down to get something which revealed the upper part of her thighs, almost revealing her underwear and butt. At that Miguel bit his fist as hard as he could. When she got up, cherry baby turned to him

"Can I help you?" she asked with a raised brow

"What are you trying to do?" he said

"What am i trying to do?" cherry inquired.

"Oh, give me a break. If you're trying to get my attention, you just had to say so." he says as he walks towards her.

As he's just about to caress her face, cherry moves her face away from his hand and continues tending to Luis.

It's Miguel's turn to be taken aback.

"Whats going on?" he questions

"Nothing. Just taking care of my horse" Cherry says monotonously not even looking at Miguel.

"Whats with the attitude today, carino?"

"What attitude, Miguel? I'm just tending to my horse." she says as she finishes up with Luis and walks away.

The rest of the day cherry baby had been her usual self except with Miguel. She was even a little flirty with some of the other ranch boys, especially the ones that Miguel is mentoring. To say he was furious would be putting it extremely lightly. And he had had enough.

It was already the afternoon. While cherry baby was talking with the boys, Miguel approached them and gave each of them some kind of errand so they can leave her alone with him. With a stern look, Miguel spoke and cherry baby just looked at him unamused.

"I hope you had your fun today." he said crossing his arms.

"I did actually, no thanks to you." she spoke as-a-matter-of-fact-ly.

"Are you done being a brat?" he asked her

"Are you done being a bitch?" she retorted

"Excuse me?"

"You're excused." she spoke at him again with an unamused face.

This made Miguel's blood boil. As cherry baby was about to leave, a slight smirk on her face, Miguel grabs her by the back of her neck and directed her to the barn. Cherry baby tries to pry his hand open but she is no match for Miguel's strong grip. He throws her inside the barn and she stumbles forward, falling to the ground

"Are you insane?! What's your problem?! I thought you didn't want me around you anymore! What gives you the right to treat me like horse poop one day and act like everything's fine the other, huh?" she snapped at him from where she was on the ground, hay from the horses all over her.

"Is this what this was all about? This whole attitude and ignoring me is because of yesterday?" Miguel smirked and started approaching her.

"Not only. The last few days you've been treating me like a fly on the wall. Barely acknowledging me. Plus you're always grumpy and sour lately. I should be the one asking you what's going on!" she spoke, her eyes getting wet and voice cracking half way.

"Carino, I've been stressed. Work has been piling up lately. Your dad is trying to make soms renovations to the barn and everything goes through me. I'm sorry I've been in a bad mood lately. Let me make it up to you." he says approaching cherry on the ground and reach out a hand to caress her face.

"And why didn't you just tell me instead of acting like an ass?" she said with hurt in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, querida. Truly I want to make it up to you."

"You should've thought about that sooner."

She said as she was getting up.

Before she could though, Miguel snakes his hand behind her head and grabs a handful of her hair and pulls her down by the hair. She yelps and goes to grab his hand. Her eyes were already wet, the pull was enough to make the tears fall from her eyes.

"You're awful" she said looking right into his eyes.

"Aww you're gonna hurt my feelings" Miguel teased with a mischievous grin.

"You're my girl and i want to show you how much i love you" he said as he stood up still holding cherry baby by the hair.

"Are you gonna be a behave now?" he asked her teasingly.

Cherry baby only nodded and he let go of her hair and puts his hands on her hips. Cherry isn't satisfied with his apology though so she decides to mess with him more. She grabs him by the balls and squeezes.

"You gotta catch me first" she whispers to his face as he makes a grimace.

Cherry baby let's go of him and makes a run for it. However Miguel's reflexes are very fast and catches her by the hair once again, dragging her back.

"I was thinking of going easy on you but by the looks of it you rather have it the hard way" he says as he pulled her back to his chest, holding the back of her hair in a vice like grip. Miguel started walking towards his room as he pushed cherry baby in front of him, hand still in her hair and his grip only getting tighter. Cherry tried to pry his finger from her hair, her little whimpers and welps filling the barn. Once they reach his room, Miguel opened the door and threw cherry baby to the floor. He was on her before she could say anything. That night cherry learned why she shouldn't play with fire, especially if that fire is Miguel O'Hara.

He can burn me all he wants 🤭❤️. LOVED this!!!! Thanks for sharing your ideas with me 🥹🫶🏻.

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #Miguel Ranchero

132 notes · View notes

iwritenarrativesandstuff · 1 year

Text

Dazai Likes People

Ok. So this is probably not the analysis you think it is. I'm not going to talk Dazai's dynamics with specific characters - I think that's better suited to personal interpretation and I've kind of already gone over my thoughts on Dazai's close relationships starting with this analysis here.

Instead, this is more about Dazai's thoughts on human beings in general, which, admittedly, can be a little hard to parse. There's a variety of thoughts on this amongst the fandom, ranging from the one extreme of "he loves people" to the other "he doesn't care at all".

This is merely my own thoughts on the matter. I don't know if this fully counts as an analysis, but I hope it at least sparks some discussion or helps piece some things together.

As you might've gathered from the title, I lean towards the idea that he likes people. There's always been things he's liked about people, as a matter of fact, but I think the nature of what he likes about them has changed across his development.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that Dazai's development as a character is, rather than a behavioural shift, instead based on his changing perception of human nature, and the value found in human connection. His methods are largely similar, however, the thought behind them and the direction they're given is different.

I'm going to be jumping around a bit with the timeline, so here's the core ideas in advance just so it's easier to follow.

Belief #1: "People are stronger in groups than individually." This has not changed across his character arc.

Belief #2: "There is a divide between myself and humanity that cannot be broached." to "Some of that divide may not be as wide as it seems." This development is still ongoing and key to his overall character conflict.

Belief #3: "Attachment is an incomprehensible motivator." to "Attachment is a reliable human drive." Take a close look at how his plans change as he ages.

Belief #4: "People just can't stop killing each other." to "There is beauty in the fighting human spirit." This one is a bit more conjecture based on hints in the story, but I think it holds some weight.

Belief #1: Groups over Individuals

This point requires very little explanation. If you look at the intro to the DHC conflict, linked here, you’ll find that he actually says it outright.

"What's more, you underestimated the power found in organizations. Humans are stronger in groups than they are as individuals. That's just the undeniable truth, Mr. One Man Army."

Again, in Stormbringer, Dazai confidently says the following:

"This is how the world works. It's an absolute truth no matter when or where you go. Groups are stronger than individuals...There's strength in numbers."

This is a canonical belief of his that he holds very strongly to, and at a young age at that. This is a primarily logical value to place on others. It's interesting though, because it goes beyond just "strength in numbers".

His further dialogue in the DHC prologue has him go on to respond to Shibusawa asking if the reason he joined the Mafia had to do with the strength in a group affirmatively. It ties in quite interestingly with what he tells Odasaku in The Day I Picked Up Dazai as the reason he should consider joining the Mafia, and Oda's own thoughts on the organization.

If one of their members is attacked by an outsider, they will turn into a row of fangs and bite the enemies.

"If you join, you will no longer be bothered by anything from your past. Because no past can touch that place."

He's said to speak with some pride about the organization in this scene. It's not just about strength. It's about safety. It's about knowing someone has your back. It is, ultimately, about trust.

So, really, it's no wonder that Dazai thrives in, and is honestly at his best, when working in partnerships.

The comfort in partnerships appears to have come rather quickly to Dazai in Fifteen; he works seamlessly with Chuuya after only a few minutes planning and is much more "alive" than in the previous scenes. We see a similar level of confidence, even unusually brazen cockiness, when working with him again in chapter 31. Dazai also works fluidly and has incredible faith in Kunikida, which explains their flawless teamwork in Entrance Exam.

He appears to be at his most confident when he is working with someone else. Look at these facial expressions.

So, it's no surprise that his response to crafting a way to protect Yokohama... is to create another partnership - this time between Atsushi and Akutagawa. And it's clearly not just for ability complements, but also some kind of genuine belief they have what it takes to support each other, if Chapter 84 and Beast are any indication.

It's about trust, in your partner and in your group. It always has been.

Belief #2: The Divide from Humanity

This divide comprises much of the fundamental core and conflict of Dazai's character - his disconnect and alienation from "humanity".

Again, this is not something I really have to defend - this becomes readily apparent to anyone who is the least bit familiar with the author's actual work, No Longer Human, from a cursory read through the manga, and is really quite obvious in the light novels, especially Dark Era, Fifteen and Stormbringer. As of now, it's still an ongoing aspect to his character, and if Oda's words are to be believed, he will likely always struggle with this disconnect to some extent.

However, there's a difference in how this aspect manifests in his dynamics with others across time.

Initially, it is a little like Dazai is unclear on how he differs from others; he only knows that he does in some way. He responds to Mori asking him why he wants to die with genuinely innocent confusion on why one would find worth in living, and responds to Chuuya stopping him from shooting the body with surprise and a simple admittance that not doing such a thing would be the "normal" way to think, before laughing it off.

By Stormbringer and Dark Era, Dazai is all too aware of what is "different" about him - that is, his apparent inability to connect with others in a meaningful way. However, I need to stress that this distance is also at least partially self-imposed. Dazai has internalized his differences from others, his lack of humanity, and decided to put up a front of being some inhuman mafia monster. Think "I am a man hated by righteousness" before repeatedly firing at Akutagawa.

Even with this initial uncertainty, there's one thing he's been quite clear on as different since the beginning: his high intellect, and he wields it like a weapon, appearing somewhat proud of at least this aspect of his distance from others. He's almost cocky about it, complains of boredom, and usually becomes interested in people when they sidestep or outright defy his predictions. It's something we see quite a lot of in his Mafia days and also a little in Entrance Exam. While he appears to grow more attached to people who live their lives in the midst of seeming meaninglessness than those who observe from the sidelines the way he does, he also comes off a bit envious in the same respect, especially when younger.

In some way, I wonder if this doesn't mirror Mykola's envy of those who "don't know they're stuck in a cage", in that sort of ‘how do people not see what I see’ kind of way, or 'if they do, then how can they deal with it'. Dazai’s intellect is rather like a double-edged sword - while it allows him a distinct advantage in prediction he enjoys, it’s likely also a strong contributor to his loneliness and separation from others, much like Ranpo. However, while Ranpo externalized his issues and thought there was something wrong with everyone else, Dazai internalized his and believed there was something wrong with him, which unfortunately caused him to isolate himself even further, rather as a self-fulfilling prophecy regarding the next point.

Dazai is a bit odd about his perceived inhumanity, because on one hand, he wields it when necessary much like his intellect, but on the other, he is almost dismayed by any reminders of his differences from "normal" people, even a bit hurt. A prime example of this is in the Dead Apple prologue, at Chuuya's "no one would believe that" line, but can also be found to a lesser extent in certain interactions in Fifteen, Dark Era, and Stormbringer. A lot of the complexity in Dazai's character comes from this juxtaposition - the mental superiority vs the human inferiority. So, he feels isolated in two ways: one is intellectually, which he tends to see as an advantage, and two is a bit harder to narrow down, but roughly has to do with the nature of the human self and its connections, for which he feels lacking.

Interestingly, Dazai seems to regard people with similarities to himself as threatening, and even gets uncharacteristically direct about how he is going to stop/kill them (Fyodor, Q). An interesting case occurs in Entrance Exam. Entrance Exam is really valuable for looking at Dazai's character because it is very much a transitory period for him, and there is one part in particular close to the end that gives me chills, both in the action and the implications of the action.

I am, of course, talking about the part where Dazai arranges Sasaki's death.

I'm going to expand on this later on once I do my analysis focusing on Sasaki herself, but her and Dazai have some pretty notable similarities between them that I heavily believe Dazai was aware of close to the end. For now, the most important similarity is the way they manipulate others - Sasaki's selective distribution of and often misleading info created situations that encouraged most of the people she contacted to act entirely on their own accord but also in the exact way she intended, without her having to do anything herself. This is quite eerily similar to the way Dazai tends to operate (though I'd say in his case with a bit more finesse that comes from Mori's strategic training).

And Dazai... he arranges her death using this same method. He kicks the gun, Rokuzou picks it up and shoots her out of revenge - and Dazai didn't have to do a single thing.

"She killed too many people."

So have you.

"That was the only way to save her. This was the best we could've hoped for."

........

I think I'll just leave it at that. There's a lot more to this complicated situation that deserves a thorough analysis of it's own, but I do think that the only means in his mind to save an empty, apathetic person who was responsible for too many deaths was to kill her says quite a bit about his mentality at that point.

But that appears to be changing.

I loved that Asagiri confirmed that Dazai's words to Kyouka in Chapters 34 to 36 are genuine. He's being probably as close to honest as we've ever seen. And we know this, because who shows up?

Why hello, Odasaku silhouette. Dazai knows full well how similar Kyouka and Odasaku are - their situations, even their dispositions, I'd say, and the way the both of them seem to unwittingly trigger character development in the people around them lol. But there's more to it than just that.

"Every person has their good and bad points, and your bad point happens to be killing. That's why you think you can't become an Agency member. That's just stupid."

"No one can know everything. That's what possibility is."

"You are not the only person with this kind of distress."

"Why do we fight? How should we live on? There is no one who can tell you the answer. All we have is our right to waver."

None of this is something I'd expect Mafia Dazai, or even Entrance Exam Dazai to say. This is someone who, from my perspective, has the barest, slightest will to live on.

"No one can know everything." In spite of his intelligence, in spite of his eerily accurate predictions, this admittance means that his perception of that intellectual distance is likely somewhat decreasing. He's still on a tier far above most other people... but he's closer to them than he is to a god. He cannot know everything.

It's similar to what he tells Sigma in Chapter 105.

"It's all a play of hands. I'm not a superhuman beyond the limits of human wisdom."

The emotional gap may also be closing a little. I think fondly of Dazai's dry "Don't you have any friends?" to Shibusawa in Dead Apple, then following up Shibusawa's dramatic 'I understand everyone so much that everyone bores me but don't understand myself' spiel with "You wouldn't be saying that if you had friends." Dazai really said friendless behaviour, pfft.

There's also his "I wonder how Kunikida-kun is doing~!" in the prison and his internal (and I thought oddly fond) comparison of Sigma to Atsushi.

Still, though, there is a significant gap in the way he removes himself from other people. Even as Dazai affirms his belief that it is the people who fight through uncertainty and live and breathe within it that create the greatest change, he still excludes himself from that category, placing himself, alongside Fyodor, above all others yet paradoxically inferior in the ability to enact real influence, sitting alone in a prison at the end of the world.

Belief #3: Attachment as a Motive

"I see... so it's all for your partner. Betraying the Mafia, spreading rumours about the old boss's resurrection, this fight we're in now... it's kind of hard to believe, to be honest."

Dazai, in his earliest appearances, seems to underestimate the drastic lengths people will go to in the name of the people they care about. The above line to Rimbaud, after he reveals he did all that he did to find out what happened to Verlaine, indicates that while he does understand bonds between others, he fails to grasp how that could be so incredibly motivating - whereas by contrast, Chuuya understands it instantly.

In fact, earlier in Fifteen, Chuuya's assistance is assured by Mori's capture of the Sheep members, which prevents Chuuya from harming anyone - Mori weaponizes this attachment and responsibility Chuuya has to great effect, and points it out to a bemused Dazai, who doesn't... really care. Dazai seems much more intrigued by the growing strife between the Sheep and their leader, and amusedly pinpoints Chuuya as a "sheep getting stared down by a wolf", before intentionally ramping up the tension. Dazai weaponized the cracks that were already showing between them, and while he seems to have started to acknowledge the importance of attachment as a powerful motivator, unlike Chuuya who sees it as honourable, Dazai at this point seems to regard it as a weakness to be exploited.

While Dazai absolutely shows budding signs of attachment himself in Fifteen and Stormbringer, it's nowhere near enough for it to be a key motivator of his own. He runs on logic. His plans are practical, precise and take no chances; a logical strategist much like Mori.

But that all changes with Odasaku. Odasaku's impact on Dazai was undeniably the strongest motivator for change he's had, but I want to talk a little about Dazai's side of things, and his unusual devotion towards his friend. For as much as Dazai is evasive, incredibly concerning, and apparently added some kind of stimulant to a dish he made for the trio without telling them (!?? bro.), when it comes down to it and things get serious, Dazai is, surprisingly enough, an objectively good friend to Odasaku. He gets panicked when he realizes Odasaku happened on Shibusawa during the DHC. He tells him immediately he doesn't need to use the Silver Oracle to ask for his help. He apologizes for killing the snipers in front of him because he knows Odasaku doesn't like killing (even if, at this point, he doesn't know why he holds this philosophy). He arranges for the kids to be hidden in a safe location once it becomes obvious Gide is targeting Odasaku. He tries to convince Odasaku he can find a reason to live, even though he doesn't, at that point, have one himself. He runs to him at the end, even when it is pointless, even when it is not logical, all because that's his friend. And this isn't even touching Beast Dazai, who wasn't even friends with the guy but saw that another him was, and decided he would do everything he did to protect that one person's dream (thereby missing what Odasaku wanted for him, which also, incidentally, was for his friend to live on, but I digress). Dazai is a surprisingly incredibly devoted friend to him. This guy experienced close friendship and it completely changed his perspective, because he'd never had anything like that before. Connection and understanding are extremely powerful motivators. He knows this now. It's in everything he does. The person is gone, but the bond remains, and it drives him to this day.

It's also important to point out that while we haven't seen the turning point in Double Black's dynamic where they went from uneasy partnership to that intense trust, Chuuya is the poster boy for attachment as a ridiculously strong motive for living. His decision to risk everything for the sake of those he has sworn to protect means that Chuuya is reliable. So, suddenly, Dazai doesn't need to make such stringent plans with him - they can be more loose about it, yet still perfectly in sync. "Chuuya is a reliable partner" is not an opinion to Dazai, it's a fact. Attachment as strength, not weakness. I feel reasonably confident in saying he likely learned this first from Chuuya. It gives him the power to persevere through the pain. It's not always fragile. It can be relied on. Chuuya struggles through his life and finds purpose in his bonds with others, and Dazai, both envious and admiring, picks up that he can utilize this in his plans.

Dazai making plans in the Agency is a little different to how he makes them in the Mafia. While there is still hefty reliance on logic and trickery, there's now an extra caveat of social and moral expectation. Dazai makes plans, knowing that people will carry them out because of the kind of people they are. He's making character judgements, not purely logical ones.

While Mori and Fyodor are also capable of much the same, it's rather unlike their methods, as they use attachment, often by leveraging it. Dazai can and does do this too, but notably, Dazai's allies are also regularly left to act in accordance to what they believe to be right without much direct interference - Dazai uses but also relies on this attachment to people and morality. It's odd, because in a sense, it's both an accurate logical prediction and a form of trust. Many of his plans in the present involve people doing what they would have done anyways given their character, but in a narrowed scope that comes from Dazai's influencing of them and the situation. He knows Ranpo will take charge when the Agency is threatened. He knows Atsushi will risk it all for his friends and family and people who remind him of his younger self. He knows Kunikida will never accept lives being lost if there is something he can do about it. He, highly unfortunately, knows Akutagawa will do anything to gain the recognition he seeks.

It's odd, because while undoubtedly still a manipulative tactic, he also has to know, for certain, that these people will act on their morals, drives, and bonds, otherwise it quite literally would not work. Is it manipulation? Is it trust? I lean towards both. Whatever the case may be, it is clear that Dazai finds at least some value in attachment (even if he, again, still largely detaches himself from pure expressions of this kind of motive - Odasaku was the major exception).

When Fyodor says people are sinful and can't help killing each other even when they know they're being manipulated to it and Dazai replies with yes, and? "What's so wrong with that?"

The way Chuuya wins against Verlaine, because he cared for people and Verlaine, in spite of everything, had at least one person he didn't want to let die. The way Gab might not have met such a tragic end if he'd had the chance to connect the way Atsushi had. The way the isolated Sigma ultimately falls, and Tachihara finds new purpose and drive from his conflicting bonds that should've weakened him but instead gave him conviction.

Attachment can be a foolish thing. It can be logically irrational, and in certain cases leaves one vulnerable, but it's not inherently a weakness. It can also be the source of incredible strength and perseverance. Human connection is the beating, bleeding heart of this series. The Agency barely took a breath after being framed before they were preparing to hold their own and prove their innocence - because the Agency meant something more to them than just a workplace. It's their place to belong. They rally to protect it and each other, just as Dazai knew they would, and he, too, is taking great risks to protect it.

Which brings me to the last point.

Belief #4: Beauty in the Fight

Fyodor and Dazai are foil characters - they are intellectual equals, and their methods of thinking and planning tend to be very similar. However, motivation-wise, they are very different - Fyodor says things like the above, clearly with a low opinion on most others. While Dazai agrees with the statement, he disagrees with the sentiment.

"What's so wrong with that?"

But I'll be honest: I don't think he always felt that way. In fact, I suspect he used to feel similarly to Fyodor when he was younger.

In Fifteen, Dazai describes the situation with the Sheep as similar to the "Undercooked Meat Theory" to Rimbaud, which acts as an analogy for violence - everyone wants to eat more of the meat, so one takes it earlier to get more than everyone else, then another takes it even earlier to get more than that guy, and so on and so forth until they are all eating undercooked meat. Here are some key points from that conversation:

Dazai: "If one person stops, he alone will end up with less meat than the other two. Therefore, each of them is trapped, forced to eat the undercooked meat and nothing else, even though all three know that perfectly cooked meat tastes much better."

Dazai: "It explains at least half the misery in the entire world."

Rimbaud: "I see... in other words, since everyone pursued what was best for them, they couldn't achieve what was best for the group..."

Rimbaud: "Violence and war are not necessary for survival... if everyone agreed to stop fighting and banned all weapons - then violence would be no more. But that isn't realistic. No matter what, someone will break the rules to get ahead of the rest... everyone else... would have to maintain their stance on fighting back only when provoked."

Although Dazai expresses his interest in the criminal underworld as a "thrill", there's cause to believe this dog-eat-dog world is something that Dazai himself personally does not like. After all, shortly afterwards, when Chuuya crashes onto the scene and proclaims that "the strongest always win", Dazai disgustedly says,

"It's people like you who turn the world into undercooked meat."

In a way, it almost reminds me a bit of what Teruko proclaims about what a rubbish society it would be if those with the strongest violence always ended up on top. That's her purpose, as a Hunting Dog - to use violence to stop criminals - but violence to maintain order is still violence. Violence begets violence, but you can't just not defend yourself in a world that wants to hurt you. And so the world goes round, and people still kill each other, often quite needlessly.

It seems both Fyodor and Dazai shared the mentality that people are all the same, self-centered and out to protect themselves at the cost of others; sinful, boring beings. Except Fyodor, a more proactive person, decided he was going to try and fix the problem. Dazai, prone to inaction, did not... and saw nothing interesting in the world worth living for.

"It explains at least half the misery in the world." I wonder, does it explain some of Dazai's misery too? He appears to be drawn to the Mafia, not because of the violence in itself, but because of the honesty with which it is approached. You know what you're getting, with organized crime - there's going to be crime, and death, and murder. The proximity to death is a removal of the veil of social acceptability; the mask over the world - Dazai is hoping that by getting closer to the cruel world's "reality", he'll be able to find that something that the people around him would kill for in order to live.

Unlike Fyodor though, who still sees people as boring for their foolishness, Dazai apparently seems to find them interesting by this point. What changed?

It's worth noting that even though Dazai genuinely thought Chuuya was just an arrogant, violent kid before the confrontation with Rimbaud, in an earlier fight scene, Dazai goes breathless at Chuuya's battle prowess. That sheer display of life and energy and raw destruction is something captivating to him. And that's interesting, because that fight there was one he had just previously been deriding Chuuya for starting - it was pointless violence, to him - and yet, he can't help but watch.

So, when the Arahabaki reveal happens and Dazai suddenly realizes he'd been mistaken about Chuuya, it triggers a shift. Chuuya wasn't looking for power. Chuuya was looking for himself.

In Fifteen, Dazai is intrigued by Chuuya's situation. In Stormbringer, Dazai is invested in Chuuya's story.

Once again, Dazai watches Chuuya fight as he relinquishes control to use the full power of Corruption, carefully watching the progression of it all. When Chuuya turns fallen angel, Dazai says to himself, "That's Arahabaki's - that's Chuuya's true form." This incredible show of strength is not just the result of a raw power. This is the will of a human who has something worth fighting for. Chuuya is not a blank vessel for Arahabaki. Arahabaki is Chuuya's to wield. This is all Chuuya, through and through.

Chuuya, caught in the act of dying, in a last-ditch play that could easily be a self-sacrificial one, surrounded by death and destruction, is nonetheless fighting with all the life within him to defend the lives of his people, with the symbol of his stubborn will to survive (that is, Arahabaki, the singularity that should've killed him) on full wrath and display. To the death-obsessed kid who wanted a reason to live, who did not see why people would fight so hard to live on, such a sight would be breathtaking.

Dazai is drawn to the people who struggle through hardship, and the ones who rebel in the name of valuing life. He becomes interested in Ango when he finds the reports he made on the DHC dead, that he made to preserve their lives even without Mori's permission. Dazai does not want to compromise Odasaku's morals, and is deeply fascinated by the juxtaposition of his Mafia status and his no killing rule, though he doesn't pry for the reason. With Kunikida, much as Dazai does not care much for ideals, he sees how Kunikida keeps on pushing through against every setback and horribly cruel reality check, and I honestly think he respects that.

Then there's this bit when Atsushi has just succeeded in getting Q's doll safely to Dazai after the curse on Yokohama.

"It was your spirit that emerged victorious."

He likes it when people succeed. He wants to see people triumph, against all odds.

I find it fascinating because Dazai becomes most invested in the aspects of the characters that we tend to get invested in - we, the readers, which makes a lot of sense given his consistent observer status. The story is never actively about Dazai, but he's always there, watching others' stories unfold, growing fascinated with the struggles they face and the development they undergo, and feeling pride and admiration when they learn to overcome.

But the tragedy in Dark Era in part was a vicious reminder that the story impacts him too, no matter how much he tries to detach himself - to become invested and connected is to open yourself up to the inevitability of getting hurt. But it's also in this struggle to find balance that we are open to make change, and to live.

Fighting to save a life - even and especially when that life is just your own - there is beauty to be found in that fight.

#hi hello here is the meta i said i'd write two months ago ✨#i hope it is coherent. i really need to stop writing these at 3 am.#bsd #bsd meta #bsd analysis #<-i guess lol #bsd dazai #storyrambles

397 notes · View notes

marineduo · 9 months

Text

Cobymeppo / Kobymeppo Fic Recs!

Here's a list of Koby / Helmeppo fics that I personally recommend, for @klausbens and anyone else just getting into Kobymeppo from the Live Action! Putting them under a read more because this is going to be a long. Fics will be linked in the fic titles! They are ordered in oldest to newest.

General Recs

This Modest Paradise - Eloarei

Coby and Helmeppo run into Morgan while shopping.

This one is my all-time favorite Cobymeppo fic. It was one of the first I found and it's one I still think about and revisit often

Grow - Eloarei

Helmeppo is able to take care of himself, but when his father returns home with a promotion, he finds he suddenly doesn't have to anymore, and that's the weirdest part about moving to the Marine base in Shells town. Without any responsibilities, he becomes bored, and any of the positive attitude his mother might have left him with goes straight out the window.

This is a really sweet fic about Helmeppo's initial time in the Marines. Not as overtly Cobymeppo, but the last little bit always gets me right in the feels.

The Way of Monsters - Eloarei

Coby was used to monsters. After years under Alvida he thought he understood them. But escaping out into the world shows him that there's a lot he doesn't know. What makes a monster? And what redeems one?

This one's very fun. It has werewolves, and is a bit of a Beauty and the Beast kind of tale. Highly Recommend.

Building Desks For Dummies - thecayenneknight

Koby and Helmeppo must face their greatest mission yet: assembling a single piece of furniture.

Short and sweet and super cute.

Dance With Me - RedPen1992

Soon after the conclusion of the Paramount War, the Marines have to face their next greatest challenge, The Marine Gala.

This one's more focused on Akainu/Kizaru, but the Coby/Helmeppo stuff in there is really good. Overall a great read.

Anniversary - altokiwi

Ready to go party, Hina demands they tell her all about last year's Halloween Night, first. Holding Helmeppo's hand tight, Coby tells the story about the scariest —but also the happiest— night of his life.

This is a really good one. I may be biased since it was an exchange gift for me, but it's a wonderful blend of silly and a little spooky <3

To Come Back - merricat

Coby and Helmeppo's close-knit circle of Marines is holding a celebration at none other than Shells Town, which forces Helmeppo to confront demons past and present.

I'm also biased towards this one (another exchange gift), but man it's so good. Lots of Helmeppo looking back on things, and them just being so sweet with each other.

Daydreams - hamstercheese7

Coby just cannot concentrate on paperwork. And who could blame him, with a view like that?

This one's so silly sweet I love it. Has both Coby/Drake and Coby/Helmeppo.

Coby/Helmeppo Oneshots - ShadowoftheLightningPack

Ok this one's a doozy at 109 chapters but there are a lot of good ones in there. If nothing else I think it's really worth at least browsing to see if anything catches your attention! (That being said, read chapter 93 it's fun)

Against Change (You Can Wander Through the Ruins) - owlboxes

“I don’t want to pry,” Coby murmurs, quiet so as not to startle Helmeppo, who already looks seconds away from crumbling. “But…I want you to know I also want to listen, if you want someone to talk to.” “I have to get my hair cut in the morning,” Helmeppo says, his voice trembling, as he tugs at the strands that have grown longer, almost to his chin now. “…but what if I don’t want to?”

I'm a sucker for Cobymeppo Fics that center around Helmeppo's hair and this checks all the boxes.

My Fic Recs

(These are all ones I wrote myself that I think are worth a read)

Over the Edge

When Helmeppo ends up letting go in a precarious situation, Coby is forced to consider life without his other half, if only for a little while.

Diaries of Coby-Meppo

I particularly recommend Scissors.

Bloodsoaked

When things go south on a solo mission, Helmeppo takes things to the extreme.

Masquerade

Coby and Helmeppo attend the year's big masquerade ball at Mariejois and the night goes far better than Coby had ever expected.

A Haunted Base

“Tell me again why we’re doing this?” Helmeppo looked down from his perch on a ceiling beam, watching as Tashigi came in with a huff and slammed a box down on the operating table he’d stolen from the base earlier. “Because Smoker had better things to do, and nobody gets out of Vice Admiral Dahlia’s plans?”

Day on the Edge

Coby enjoys a peaceful morning with his partner, but something leaves him feeling uneasy.

SPICY Fic Recs

Saved and Earned - Tonko

Integrity is a hard road, but Helmeppo is trying.

I don't even know what to say about this fic. You know that pic of the stick figure on all fours shaking something violently in its mouth? That's how crazy this fic makes me.

Guilty Pleasures - me

When Coby witnesses the carnage his friend and partner is capable of, in the moment he's not sure how he'll get past it. But the jokes on him, because he's into that shit.

I wrote this to be similar to Bloodsoaked, but more spicy.

Searching for the Words - 2Farky2Furious

“Helmeppo.” He shook himself from his thoughts. “Huh?” “It’s just me. You know you can tell me anything, right?” “I—” Helmeppo met the soft, familiar warmth of Coby’s gaze and blurted into the scant space between them. “I want to kiss you again.”

A little angsty at first, which makes the semi-public sex even better.

Helping Hands - leghair

What had started as a rare bartering chip back when they themselves were new recruits and every drill had left them quaking like newborn deer had shifted into a standard IOU or repaid-favour, and from there, eventually, had simply become… habit. After their midnight training sessions left them fatigued, they would crawl back to their barracks, where Helmeppo would scratch Coby’s back and Coby scratched his - quite literally. That’s just how they got through it. It had been a while, though, come to think of it. Their schedules had grown to be quite different since Coby’s promotion. He still got the occasional remedial massage from medical, but it just wasn’t quite the same as someone who knew his body as well as Meppo did.

Very good fic, but also I think of the tag 'formal apology to the one (1) cobymeppo shipper with an appetite for toes reading this with dismay' at least once a week.

Coby/Helmeppo Smut Oneshots - ShadowoftheLightingPack

If you don't read any of the others (though you should), at least read chapter 8. It's very good.

#helmeppo #coby #op koby #cobymeppo #kobymeppo #lmk if any of the links don't work #also some are locked so you might have to sign in to see them

104 notes · View notes

procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics · 2 years

Text

Unexpected

Summary: Ivar finally decides to fuck the slave he’s been eyeing for so long, but when his angry side slips out, things take a turn for the wholly unexpected.

Beginning Notes: Inspiration hit me suddenly and I had to write this. It’s from Ivar’s POV entirely, but still a reader insert. Reader is non-descriptive apart from she/her pronouns and female body.

I'm actually so proud of myself for this one. Idk where it came from, but i think it turned out pretty decent for smut.

Warning: smut, very NSFW and a little kinky

Pairing: Ivar x reader

Taglist: @bragisrunes, @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie, @alicedopey

Masterlist | Part 2 | requests are OPEN!

She’s driving him insane. This new slave from gods-know-where, always in the hall when he is, as if he wouldn’t notice the glances she steals at him.

Does she stare because he is a cripple? Because the other thralls are afraid of him and he hasn’t hurt her, yet? Or are there rumors about him from where she was taken from?

It doesn’t matter. What matters is that all his brothers don’t take him seriously when he mentions her – to them, she’s like a mouse, scurrying around underfoot, never to be noticed. Innocent like a fucking Christian.

Maybe to the eyes of others, she’s invisible, but she’s a pain to Ivar. No matter where he goes, she’s always there, whether that is actually or just in his thoughts. She’s a plague.

He can fuck her if he wants, not only because he’s a prince, but also because she is a slave. A nobody, who still stares at him. Why does it bother him so much when she does it? People have always stared at him and yet…

At least now, the hall is empty. It’s late evening, and his brothers are all occupied with lovers and wives, his mother is asleep, and most of the thralls are sleeping. Except her of course. She’s still in the hall, scrubbing away on the floor so dutifully, kneeling only a few steps away. Her eyes still flicker to him from time to time.

With a few irregular steps and muted thumps from his crutch, he stands in front of her. She pretends not to notice him, and Ivar finds it infuriating. Quickly, he grabs her jaw, tilting her face up until she’s facing him. To his surprise, there’s no fear in her eyes, she only looks momentarily startled.

“Can I help you, my prince?” she asks, and Ivar swears by all the Gods that if he has to look at her staring up at him innocently like that for one second longer, he’ll throw up on the floor she just cleaned.

“Go to my room.” He replies instead, and she gets up, gathers her skirt and walks there without question or protest.

He follows her slowly. By the time he gets to his room, she stands in the middle of it, careful not to touch any of his belongings and Ivar is glad that, for once, she looks unsure and out of place.

“Take off your dress. It’s dirty.” He says. She does as she’s told, taking her time with removing her apron and folding it, before making to move on to the dress.

“Aren’t you going to protest?” Ivar asks, surprised that she doesn’t look the least bit disgusted by him. Not like Margrethe.

“Would you like me to?” she deadpans, but Ivar thinks that he can hear a bit of snark in her voice. It almost makes him smile, until he remembers that he is a prince, and she’s a thrall.

“Get on with it.” Ivar commands.

She shrugs off her dress and shift until she’s bare in front of him, and all Ivar does is stare. Still, she stays still.

Not a christian then. Or at least not a very strict one. Ivar thinks.

“Lie down on the bed.” Ivar continues, and he’s angry that she seems surer in what she’s doing than he is, even though she isn’t doing anything but following his commands.

For a moment, he can glimpse a change in her. For a second, she looks almost excited, and not at all scared, before her face reverts back to a stony expression.

Ivar pulls himself onto the bed, and only when he’s lying right next to her does he realize that he has no idea what he’s doing.

He makes a strangled noise, one that sounds like a dying animal at a sacrifice, and Ivar is ready to take his knife and hold it against her throat when she leans over him and kisses him. For a moment, Ivar freezes, before he slaps her. Not hard, and not because he wanted to, but more because he didn’t expect this.

There’s a short pause, and then she gives a moan. It’s quiet and short but Ivar knows what it is nonetheless. He tells himself that it has nothing to do with the slap, that the moan was too disconnected, but then he looks into her eyes and blown out pupils are looking back at him.

“You liked that?” Ivar asks incredulously. For the first time, she looks a bit flustered. Then, she nods slowly. Ivar sits up, leaning against the headboard. Years of pulling himself across the floor come in handy and he grabs her by the hips, pulling her on top of his.

“Kiss me again.” He demands. She leans down, and Ivar reciprocates the kiss this time, a hand snaking to her jaw, his thumb stroking her cheek, before he brings it down in a light slap again. She moans a little louder this time, beginning to grind down on him. There’s no shame in her.

“You like pain?” Ivar asks, not sure if she’s even real at this point.

“Don’t you?” she replies. He does, he supposes. Not being on the receiving end but inflicting it.

“You’re fucked up.” Ivar manages. She gives him a look that says And you aren’t?

To his surprise, Ivar begins to like her. Now that she isn’t pretending to be a ‘saint’, her company isn’t all that bad.

“What else do you like?” Ivar blurts out, before he can stop himself. A sly grin worms itself onto her face as she stretches out on his bed, as if it belongs to her.

“Let’s see.” She says. “Being manhandled. Spanking, scratching, choking-“

“Choking?” Ivar interrupts.

“Well as long as it’s not life threatening.” She shrugs. Ivar rolls over, until he’s hovering over her, and captures her lips in a kiss. Unsure, and strangly unwilling to hurt her, he begins to slide a hand down to her neck. He squeezes only a little bit, opening his eyes to make sure that she isn’t panicking.

It annoys him that she isn’t bothered by him at all, so he squeezes a little harder, until her eyes slowly open. He makes eye contact with her, and almost wishes he hadn’t, because there isn’t a trace of fear in her eyes, but the lust makes her look almost maniacal.

And then Ivar realizes that he wants to fuck her. Wanted to all along, all while she was pretending to be innocent and quiet. Not like he wanted to fuck Margrethe. This hasn’t gotten anything to do with proving something to his brothers. He wants to hold her down and fuck her into the mattress until her eyes roll back and-

She’s wriggling downwards under him, sucking on his neck and collarbones, and Ivar grabs her by the neck to push her down. She smiles at him, because she has to be insane, right?

“I need to catch my breath.” Ivar lies. What he needs is time to think. It’s obvious that she’ll enjoy most of the things he wants to do to her, and that she’s interested in him. He has to make a choice.

She lies her head down on his chest, fingers trailing down his still-clothed stomach slowly, and panic lurches in Ivar’s throat. She had to know about the rumors. Was this it? Was she Sigurd’s pet, trying to embarrass him even further for being boneless?

But then, Ivar realizes that he’s okay. It’s all going the way it’s supposed to, now he only has to get Sigurd off his mind.

The thrall is keeping herself busy, kissing down his body. Ivar wonders if she’s in love with him, or just doing this because she wants to have sex. He tells himself that he doesn’t care, but a tiny part of him wants her to love him.

Angry again, Ivar grabs a fistful of her hair and puts her where he wants her. She’s barely able to pull down his pants enough before she gives a muffled moan, taking him into her mouth. It’s almost as if she’s trying to worship him, the way she trails her tongue along his cock, before engulfing it until she gags. Ivar pushes her head down carelessly, but she doesn’t seem to mind, on the contrary, it’s only egging her on.

He falls back against the pillows, muffling a moan. Ivar wants to laugh at the irony of it, her, worshipping a cripple. When he gets close, he pulls her up to him.

“Did I do something wrong?” she asks, and her voice sounds genuinely concerned. Ivar shook his head.

“Want to cum inside you.” He manages. She grins, wiping her mouth, before she kisses him again, insistently tugging at the hem of his shirt. He lets her pull it off reluctantly.

Her smile widens and it’s at the sight of him. She licks a stripe up his neck and Ivar thinks it’s going to be too much. Still, he’s coherent enough to stop her when she tries to pull down his pants as well.

“No.” he says. “My legs.”

She nods. “Okay, that’s fine. But I can’t believe you wanted to hide this from everyone. From me.”

“I’m not yours.” Ivar snarls. Was it hurt that flashed in her eyes?

“I know.” She says, running her hands up his chest. Ivar grabs her jaw harshly.

“Lie on your back.” He commands

She complies, looking up at him with doe eyes, but this time, he doesn’t mind. Ivar pushes into her slowly, and she moans like a whore. When he tells her, hissing the words into her ear, she moans again.

This feels right. Better than Margrethe, better than Ivar had imagined.

He picks up the pace, until he’s fucking her like he wanted to moments before – or was it hours? Barely, Ivar registers her nails digging into his back, scratching down to his waist, before coming up again without rhythm or pattern.

She keeps moaning, and Ivar leans down to kiss her, sloppily, hungrily, swallowing some of the noise she’s making. He’s on the verge of cumming, even if he doesn’t want to. He wants to keep going, but his hips speed up from their own accord, going faster, deeper. Her back starts arching up, so Ivar grabs her hips and presses them back down.

His mind is completely empty, all he knows is that this is good. It’s fucking perfect. Her moans reach a crescendo, and he feels her clench around him. Is she there?

He wants to ask her, so he can know if he made her feel good, but one look at her tells him that she wouldn’t answer if he could form the question in the first place.

Ivar feels it creeping up on him, but he keeps going, grabbing her neck with his left hand, right still on her hip. Then, finally, he can’t stop himself anymore and lets go.

Moments later, he collapses on top of her. He’s still inside her, and after a few seconds, she wraps her arms around him, holding him tightly. He pulls out, lying on his back. She gives a small whine, moving closer to him again. Why?

“Was that- was it good?” Ivar asks. He’s afraid of her answer. He knows his brothers are all good and Ivar wants to be better than them at something else than strategy.

“Yeah.” She sighs, and he notices that she’s still out of breath. “But I doubt I’ll be able to walk tomorrow. Or right now, sorry.”

Still, she leans up, trying to reach her apron without moving too much.

“What are you doing?” Ivar asks.

“I need to clean this up.” She replies, motioning to her legs. “It gets sticky after a while.”

Wordlessly, Ivar pushes her back into the bed and reaches for the rag next to his basin. He has another one anyway.

He cleans her up quietly. There’s dark bruises on her hips, shaped like his hands. She flinches a bit when he touches her clit, and he’s careful to be quick about it.

When Ivar lies back down next to her, she’s smiling. Her eyes are closed, and she could be sleeping.

“Never took you for the type to clean up after themselves.” She says.

He doesn’t say anything smart back. Instead, he asks her the biggest question on his mind.

“Why did you do this? Were you looking for a quick fuck, or did my brothers put you onto this? Or are you in love with me?” Ivar asks.

“In love with you?” she replies. Her voice sounds a bit shaky. “I’m not in love with you. I just thought you’d have the same taste as me.”

He hopes she’s lying. Please, Freya, let her be lying. Let someone love me. He prays before he can stop himself. Ivar isn’t sure if he’d even love her back, but it’s something he wants to be able to say about himself. That someone fell for him like that.

While he keeps mulling over her words, she moves closer to him again. Quickly, she’s falling asleep. He could punish her, for just assuming that she could sleep in his bed. He could, but instead, Ivar moves her to lie in his arms. He smiles to himself. Despite her words, she’s here right now, holding him.

#ivar #vikings #ivar the boneless #ivar x reader #history vikings #ivar lothbrok #ivar x you #ivar x y/n #ivar the boneless x reader #ivar fanfiction #ivar smut

1K notes · View notes

d1xonss · 6 months

Text

Desert Rose

Chapter 1 ~ Introductions

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 1

✧ Word Count : 4.2k

In this chapter ~ In a life full of unexpected turns, this one by far hit Rose the hardest. A disease begins to spread when the dead are somehow brought back to life, that alone being the tip of the iceberg of what she remains to be faced with. When it all leads to her fighting for her life in Atlanta, she meets a group that ends up saving her from what she thought was the end of her rope. But when they bring her along for their great escape out of the dead infested city, she's faced with a decision that seemed to be more difficult than she first realized.

AN ~ Hi! So this is my very first post and series on tumblr and I’m still very much trying to get the feel of things lol. I originally uploaded the first two seasons of this fanfiction to wattpad and am still uploading frequently there, but I also wanted to give this a try as well. Just putting it on a different platform for more people to see:)

I will admit before you read, I started writing this story a little while ago so the phrasing and writing might be a little rusty at first seeing as I was just starting out. But I promise it gets better as it goes on, trust me! I hope whoever reads this grows to love it as much as I do. I will be uploading here as much as I can and adjusting to the new feel of things on here as quick as I can.

And I think that’s all for now! I hope you enjoy!

Fear.

That's the only emotion anyone ever feels anymore, or that's at least what I believe. Considering I've been on my own since the beginning, fear is something that I've had to grow accustomed to. And the world going to shit only made me realize how alone I truly was. Sure, I had a family but ever since I grew up and left them completely, I've never liked to talk about them much, mostly because they didn't care about me whatsoever. I mean, I'm on my own for a reason.

But I knew how to take care of myself pretty well and I was always silently thankful for that. I couldn't imagine living in this world and not knowing how to fight, or fend for yourself, so I considered myself lucky. I caught on quickly when it came time to start killing the dead, the very first time I had taken one out still haunts me to this day, the first feeling of fear I had felt in a very long time. I've learned the hard way that you never quite shake the feeling.

I had a day off from work, which was rare, and I was just in my apartment painting while the T.V. played quietly in the background. But then the whole atmosphere changed, nearly in a split second it felt like. My ears instantly perked up when I heard blood curdling screams coming from the hallway just outside, instantly sending me flying to the front door to press my ear up against the surface. Though when the screams didn't die down, I slowly opened my door to see two disgusting looking corpses going after a few of my neighbors. I froze at the scene in front of me.

They were trying to fight them off with random weapons clutched tightly in their hands, flinching away as they tried desperately to push them back, screaming in utter terror. A part of me was torn, not wanting to step in and actually kill these things that looked exactly like us. People. But these things were no longer human, anyone could see that from a mile away.

I snapped back into reality and rushed into my apartment to grab a large steak knife from my kitchen drawer, trying to help them kill whatever the hell these things were. Rushing into the hallway, I shoved the thing up against the wall to get it away from the small group that had formed around it, causing it to growl loudly as it looked directly at me. Goosebumps formed on my skin at the sight, quickly twirling the knife around to stab it in the chest, but it continued to flail around in my grasp. My eyes widened as the thing didn't seem the least bit phased, trying again and again desperately to get its clawing hands away from me.

But finally it a fit of aggravation, I took my knife and stabbed it right in between its eyes, silencing it completely as it fell limp out of my hold and onto the carpeted floor. My breathing was heavy as the others continued to panic loudly from just behind my head, but I stayed completely still as I couldn't take my eyes away from the thing. I felt disgusting, horrified, and clueless all at once. Though one thing I did know was that I couldn't stay here.

I didn't hesitate then to storm back into my home and pack a larger bag full of my stuff to evacuate, knowing that this couldn't have just been happening here. Curiosity got the better of me as I flipped through the T.V. channels quickly, landing on the news which showed utter chaos and live footage of these things attacking more people. My heart seemed to stop for a moment as I watched, seeing that the world was nearly coming to an end as tanks were flooding down the streets, trying to take these things out and put an end to it before it spread.

I didn't know what to do, or where I would go, but I wanted to get as far away from here as possible. Looking into the dead eyes of the monster really didn't sit too well with me.

Though after that day, life was never the same. The dead slowly took over everything, killing off anyone they could get a hold of and silencing the world completely. Leaving everyone left alive utterly terrified and alone.

Two whole months had passed since the dreaded outbreak, and I found myself to be moving constantly. Never staying in the same place for too long, before packing up to move on and stay alive. That's truly all that mattered anymore.

I somehow ended up in the city of Atlanta just passing through the large structures hoping to gather some supplies before moving on all over again. But what I didn't expect was to see hundreds of walkers filling the streets instead. My eyes widened at the sight as soon as I turned the corner, hoping to just silently slip away as I backed up from the giant swarm of them. But a few of their heads turned as they somehow spotted me, and then the "few" turned into a shit ton.

I practically sprinted in the other direction as fast as I could, slipping in between a few buildings to try and escape the many that chased me with outstretched hands. But I quickly realized that the space I ran into was an alley, blocking off the other side in which I planned to escape. My stomach flipped as I slowly turned back around to face the dead, seeming to accept my fate as I was trapped and had no escape.

And that brings me to today. No, I didn't die...but if I'm being honest a part of me wished that I had.

Instead of feeling the corpse's dead fingers tearing into me, a few live people came out of nowhere in the tall building to my right and began killing off the corpses one by one, right before my eyes. I stood completely still as I thought at first I might be dreaming, but one of the men quickly grabbing my arm and pulling me along like a rag doll told me it was far from that.

Anyone else would be grateful for these people being at the right place at the right time, but I didn't work too well with others so grateful isn't really the word I would use.

So, currently you could say I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place as I racked my brain, trying to figure out how to get out of the situation I was put in. One of the men that had saved me was wearing a God awful hat that made me want to walk back in the herd of walkers. His name, I learned, was Rick Grimes and he and his group were the ones that helped me get out of the pickle I got myself in, along with dragging me with them as they too escaped from the large city of Atlanta. From what I overheard the others talking loudly about, they had just managed to save Rick as well, who was having just as bad of a day as I was, an hour before they saved me. To me it looked like we were both just random strangers that they decided to pick up like lost dogs.

The rest of the group seemed to be nice enough, except for this asshole Merle who was this racist, sexist, piece of shit. Spewing out bullshit and insults from his lips every five minutes and only pushing me further into wanting to walk towards the flesh eating monsters. Though, to make a very long story short, we ended up leaving him handcuffed up on the roof of a building where we were once trapped on top of. Though much to my surprise, it wasn't on purpose. Rick eventually had enough of the man's bullshit and took his fancy, shiny handcuffs to lock him in place on a metal pole, and a man named T-Dog accidentally dropped the key to unlock him down a drain.

But when the time came, we had no choice but to leave him when the dead were chasing us once more as they somehow had gotten into the building. The only option we really had now was to maybe go back for him later. Maybe. But to put it into perspective on how uncomfortable I was with these people, riding in this truck with them to their camp...I would rather switch places with Merle.

I was suddenly pulled out of my thoughts when the truck we were riding in stopped abruptly, assuming we were at the camp these people were talking so much about. I took a second to lean forward and glance out the windshield at my surroundings, not liking the feeling that was forming in my gut at the thought of meeting anyone new. But Rick caught me scanning the area, reading my expression from where he sat in the passenger seat and clearly sensed my nerves.

He eventually caught my eye as I felt him staring right as he began to speak, "Don't worry, we're in this together." he assured, flashing a half smile at me that made the corners of his eyes wrinkle.

I raised my eyebrows. Oh, thank God we're "in this together."

The guy who was driving, who I learned was named Morales, told us to come out and meet everyone with a nod as he jumped out of the truck to run to his family. I shared another uneasy look with Rick before slowly following his actions to see for myself what I would be dealing with. My eyes scanned through everyone that was gathered around and instantly all eyes were on me once they heard my door slam shut. I grew uncomfortable at all the watchful eyes boring holes straight into my forehead, and a man named Glenn eventually stepped up when he sensed the obvious tension.

"Guys, this is Rosaline. We saved her back in the city. She's cool." he assured with a smile, silently telling all of them to back off.

I shifted uncomfortably, "Rose." I corrected.

It seemed after I opened my mouth to speak everyone relaxed slightly, thinking that I wouldn't be much of a threat. Though I could be. But they didn't need to know that. I didn't plan on hurting these people or taking their fishing poles unless they tried anything. But by the looks of it, some of these people looked like they wouldn't even kill a fly, so I think it was safe to say I was good.

Though all of a sudden, the whole atmosphere seemed to change, everything happening in slow motion as a few people stared at me wide eyed. A man, a woman, and a kid. I stood still there for a moment wondering what I did to make these people stare daggers at me like this until I heard a small gasp from behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw Rick standing there in awe with the same expression that they had as he stared at them in disbelief. I soon realized that they were looking just behind me the entire time and quickly stepped off to the side as fast as I could.

Well, that's fucking embarrassing.

The little boy then took off in a flash towards Rick, screaming "Dad!" as he cried and then it all seemed to click in my head. This was the family Rick briefly mentioned to the group back when we were on the roof of the tall building back in the city. The family he had been trying desperately to find. They had been here the whole time.

My eyes stayed on the small family as they reunited with laughter and tears, almost feeling myself smile at the sight. Though I snapped out of it with a shake of my head, stopping it before I could let it happen.

After the moment had passed, that only came time for very long and boring introductions as Rick and I seemed to meet everyone else in the camp. I nodded towards everyone politely as I learned each of their names that I would surely accidentally forget. But one name seemed to really stick out to me amongst the many others.

Someone briefly mentioned that there was another man who lived with them, one who wasn't here at the time. Merle's brother, Daryl. And here I thought one was enough.

However, I had yet to meet the second one because the older man, Dale informed me he was currently out on a hunt somewhere in the woods just ahead of us. But the truth was I didn't need to meet the man to know that he was an asshole just like the one we left behind. I mean they are related after all.

The entire group then sat around a fire once the sun finally set, eating something small they cooked for the night, while discussing some random things that people would occasionally bring up. But the hot topic currently, was what needed to be said to Daryl once he got back. In my mind it was pretty simple, but it was clear these people didn't want to be too harsh about it.

"What should we say to him?" Dale asked.

"We tell him the truth," Rick stated simply, "I'll tell him, I mean I was the one who cuffed him."

"No, I'll tell him I'm the one who dropped the key." T-Dog piped in as he finished the remaining food on his plate.

Glenn sighed and went on to say, "I don't mean to bring race into this but...it might sound better coming from a white guy."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes hearing them going back and forth about what to tell him, hearing the same things being said over and over again. I stayed completely silent as I thought more to myself, slowly tuning their conversation out as I planned my escape from this hell hole. Coming here was clearly a big mistake and I realized that the moment I stepped foot inside, I didn't belong with the rest of them. I was better off alone.

And what seemed to annoy me the most is that I didn't have a choice, they just dragged me back here without even asking, without a care in the world. To me, that alone was a good enough reason to get the fuck out of here.

The group finally decided after what felt like hours that Rick would be the one to tell Daryl about his brother, and eventually it grew much later in the night as everyone began to go their separate ways. I planned to just head off into the forest to sleep against a nearby tree for a few hours, then slip away in the early morning before any of them had a chance to notice.

I began to gather my stuff, strapping my backpack across my shoulders and stepping over the few large rocks in my way to head towards the tree line. But just as I was about to get the smallest taste of freedom, a voice calling out behind me caused me to stop.

"Hey Rose!" I recognized Dale's voice softly shout.

My chest raised up and down with a deep sigh, turning around to face him as I looked at him expectantly. "I know you don't have a place to sleep tonight, but we have some room in the RV..." he trailed off.

I continued to stare at him, hardly showing any emotion on my face at all as I tried to read him, figuring out what his intentions were.

He continued, "Look, I know you're new and clearly don't trust any of us just yet, but I just want to make sure you have a safe place to sleep. You don't have to, I just thought I would offer." he said, finishing with a smile.

I could tell by that alone that Dale was a good person and a decent man. There were definitely some people in this group that gave me a bad feeling right off the bat, but Dale wasn't one of them. But I needed to get away so I could leave. I only wanted this group to be a distant memory in the back of my mind and nothing more.

So, with that I shook my head, "I'm okay." I said as politely as I could before heading off into the forest.

I could hear him sigh from behind me as I walked away but I didn't let it bother me. I needed to go. A part of me didn't even want to sleep so I could get a head start and further away, but I was fairly tired from running for my life throughout the day. So I figured I could sleep for a couple of hours and before anyone could wake up, I would leave and head off to...well anywhere but here.

My eyes groggily peeled open the following morning just before the sun began to rise over the hills, looking at it made me guess was it was around four in the morning. I yawned and stretched slowly before standing up to my full height and placing my bag on my back, starting to head off in the opposite direction of the camp as the dirt crunched loudly beneath my feet. Although I didn't get very far, maybe about five steps away before something suddenly stopped me in my tracks. I stood still there for a minute, just thinking. For some reason there was a gut feeling I had. Something was telling me to stay.

My mind started to spiral with many different thoughts, enough to give you a headache, but then that's where I stopped myself. My whole life whenever I had a gut feeling about something, I needed to trust it. My little intuition was almost never wrong. And although most I had felt like warnings about uneasy feelings, this one was different. Like a magnet was pulling me back to the group. A strong ass magnet.

I found myself plopping back down on my ass, my back up against the tree with my knees to my chest, just lost in my own thoughts, debating and arguing with myself for what felt like hours when in reality it was probably only a few minutes. But a golden flicker appearing out of the corner of my eye is what made me look back up, seeing the sun beginning to rise higher in the sky enough to kiss my cheeks. Okay...so it really had been a few hours.

But even after clear hours had passed me by, I was still left very torn on what to do with myself. My head was screaming at me to just leave and be on my own, but my heart was just calmly telling me to stay for a while and see how it works out. I hadn't had a real group at all since the outbreak first happened, but in my mind I never wished for one. I always believed it was okay to be alone, watching out for yourself rather than anyone else dragging you down. That was the logical way to survive...wasn't it?

With that I let out an annoyed groan and slowly stood back up to make my walk of shame back to the camp, deciding to give it one more day and if nothing changes, I'd leave tonight. To me even staying one more day seemed to be pushing it, but I didn't want to regret not trying and seeing how this would play out.

As I walked back into the grounds, I noticed some people were already awake in the early hours of the morning to my surprise. Carol and her daughter Sophia were sitting up on one of the logs talking quietly to each other, the woman's gaze glancing up to me as she noticed my movement. She sent me a sweet smile with a small wave, to which I nodded to her in return.

My eyes then looked away from her for a split second when I caught a brief glimpse of Rick walking away from the campsite with a certain determination in his step, and his head low. I stayed in place as I watched his figure disappear, before I found my feet slowly moving forward to follow him. I didn't know why I did, I just grew curious I guess.

When I caught up to his long strides, I found him sitting on a larger rock, seemingly talking to himself though I couldn't make out the words from where I was standing. It was all too hushed and quiet. But then my eyes panned over a bit to see a device in his hands, his mouth lowering closer as he spoke into it. Good to know he wasn't batshit crazy or anything.

After an only few seconds I turned on my heel to leave him be, though I accidentally stepped too far to the right and straight down on a branch that snapped loudly. My eyes closed the second it happened, silently cursing to myself. When he heard the noise he whipped his head around, with his hand hovering over his pistol on his hip, but his body instantly relaxed when he realized I wasn't a walking corpse.

He then recovered and flashed me a thin lipped smile, "Hey, you're up early."

I lifted my hand to check my imaginary watch, "No shit." I said, lowering it back down again at my side.

"You're not a morning person...noted." he said slowly before sighing to himself as he stared at me, "You know, I can tell you were alone for quite some time, if not the entire time. And I know you're probably scared but-"

"I'm not scared of anything." I snapped.

He looked at me surprised with raised brows, not expecting me to say anything at all. But I wasn't going to just stand there while he accused me of the things I was feeling when he didn't know anything about me at all. Everyone around here might've been scared but I sure as hell wasn't. Maybe that was another reason I didn't want to be with this group, they didn't know what the hell they were doing, too scared to have a steady head on their shoulders. I should add that to the list of reasons why I should take my happy ass out of here.

Once he recovered, he nodded in agreement to my surprise, "Okay, maybe you're not scared... but you are alone."

I didn't open my mouth to respond as my eyes narrowed at him further. Thanks captain obvious.

He continued, "Look, I know you don't trust us, but all I'm asking for is that you give us a chance. I saw the way you were looking at everyone last night, like you were ready to pounce any minute if anyone tried anything. I can tell you need us as much as we need you-"

"Okay," I interrupted with a wave of my hand, "Let me stop you right there before you break out into song and dance. I'm going to make something perfectly clear. I don't need you, or your parade of assholes back there for anything. I have always been just fine on my own, and last time I checked I didn't even ask for you to save me and bring me back here. You just did it. So don't tell me I'm scared, or I need any of you because that is far from the truth, asshole." I spoke harshly.

He stared at me for a few seconds not knowing what to say, but clapping back quicker than I expected, "Okay, fair enough. You're right I don't know you, you didn't ask me to save you, and you don't look like you need anyone. I'm just saying it's nice to have other people watching your back. I felt so alone until I found a man and his son while looking for my family, and now I can be a part of this group...and so can you. But I can understand if you want to leave. Just know that...everyone in camp likes the idea of having you around."

His response was far from what I expected, and I didn't say anything back to him right away, mostly because I couldn't find the right words. How could he be so understanding over someone he didn't even know. It honestly blew my mind a little.

When he saw I wasn't going to argue further, he turned back around to watch the sun continue to rise in front of him. And after debating in my head for a minute or two, I decided to walk over and sit next myself to him on the giant rock. He glanced at me when I sat down, probably expecting me to say some smart ass comment in return to what he stated, but I didn't. We just sat in comfortable silence until the sky was no longer orange and pink, but now turning into more of a pale blue with clouds slowly filling up the remaining space. It was somewhat nice.

I could tell he was about to move and stand up to his feet, probably to head back to camp, but I said something that stopped him.

"I never wanted to be alone." I confessed, not taking my eyes off the sky.

As soon as the words left my lips, I closed my eyes for a moment as I regretted what I said almost instantly. I didn't want to admit defeat to anyone let alone a stranger, but I figured I should in this case for him to truly understand what I was feeling.

I felt his eyes on me as he said nothing, expecting me to continue, so I did. "I was alone before the world went to shit, and I've gotten used to being by myself. I guess I've just come to realize it's exhausting looking out for other people."

He still remained silent.

"My point is I don't know if I'm staying." I said while finally turning to look at him.

He nodded, "That's okay. Just make sure to think about it before you make any rash decisions. Who knows...maybe you'll change your mind." he said almost suggestively before standing up and turning around to head back.

I turned my head and watched his frame retreat away from me for a few seconds, his words echoing in my mind, before turning all my attention back to the sky. A part of me still wanted to leave, the fear of the unknown creeping up to me, however I did tell myself that I would give it another chance. But if I couldn't find a reason to say by tonight that was that. I would leave this group behind.

~ Thanks for reading!

92 notes · View notes

hakairou · 8 months

Text

Various Yugi, Yami, and puzzleship headcanons because one I'm too busy to draw much, and two I wanted to write a little something for myself, just for fun. And you get to see them too (• 3 •) :

Yami’s transition from vengeful vigilante to kind-hearted yet prideful pharaoh was rocky to say the least. Not understanding and not quite willing to accept Yuugi’s kindness, most of his attempts to understand his newfound life was filled with stone-cold faces, confused stares, and offended petulance. But Yuugi is equally stubborn in helping his new friend acclimatize to being human again, so he does his best to teach him, even if not everything he does is successful.

Yami, despite loving Yuugi, doesn’t worship the ground his partner walks on. Instead he sees a person who’s gone through hardship, being lonely and bullied, and still somehow smiling at the end of it, and it amazes him as much as it confuses him. He’s unsure how to proceed with a person who seems so contradictory. Though with time, he recognizes Yuugi's inner strength and resolves to help Yuugi see what he himself saw in his partner.

Yuugi will never admit it, but whenever he gets the chance to become “the strong one” and help Yami out for a change, it gives him a heady feeling that rivals anything he’s felt before. For once, he gets to protect others, something he never gets to do, and plus, he’s protecting the one person who protects everyone else. He, the tiny and small Yuugi Mutou, protecting Yami no Yuugi, the hero! He finally gets the chance to be “the lead” almost, and it brings him greater joy than any other. Ofc he doesn't flaunt it, but it's definitely something he feels and to a degree feels ashamed about. Though he lets himself be arrogant, just a teeny tiny bit.

To Yami though, Yuugi becomes very vigilant and constant in looking out for him, something he does appreciate exclusively from Yuugi when he can no longer stand on his own.

In terms of love, the spirit only knows it in theory. He loves his partner, he cares for his friends, he loves his home of Egypt, and he loves his priests and his people. But the kind of love where two people love each other, is less foreign and more of unsure territory for him. He recognizes it’s a love that goes beyond what he’s felt for anyone else, but doesn’t know how to approach it. Much less appreciate it.

Yuugi meanwhile, understands love very well. He’s yearned for it for years, and finally feels it for Yami, his partner and dear spirit. He hides it of course, the world is more important than his feelings, but when it’s all over and he gets the chance to act on them, his desperate heart won’t let him be so selfless. He enjoys and revels in teaching Yami the many ways one could love, as to him, it shows just how much he loves Yami in turn. But he’s equally patient about it, taking it step by step. Sometimes, he’s so gentle that Yami gets impatient, but Yami’s equally weak to his partner’s tenderness, especially when it’s geared towards him.

Their relationship isn’t fueled by something as small as one’s appearance, nor did it ever start from it. But when those moments come, Yuugi can feel his breath be stolen by Yami’s visage, or Yami blinking when he sees how the light refracts in Yuugi’s eyes. Still, they appreciate each other’s appearance and take full advantage to do so, especially when having separate bodies. They appreciate them as they entirely are, and not for singular details.

Yuugi likes squeezing Yami’s butt. There isn’t much there, but whatever he gets, he gropes. Yami’s since then no longer bothered to scold him, only giving him a mild glare and blush whenever he does it. Though he always somehow knows when to smack Yuugi’s hand away when they’re out in public events.

Neither are comfortable to sleep on because they’re quite lanky, even if Yami came back in Atem’s body (trust me, if he really is all muscle then those are rocks dude, not pillows) So instead Yugi and Yami both like taking a pillow and just putting it on themselves so the other can sleep on them.

Atem, when alive, was a well-meaning king. A little spoiled, since he was such a golden boy, but overall, a good-natured king. He often listens out to his people, gets into quarrels with Seth because of his seemingly soft nature, and tries to be equal in his sense of judgement. But it never changes the fact that he was a young king, and there was much he had left to learn by the time Kul Elna’s history was revealed. These lessons unfortunately, he would never know, not until 3000 years later.

When Yami/Atem comes back, he doesn’t come back fully human. Being locked in an ancient artifact with the remnants of darkness incarnate changes you. So while he looks human, he still holds control over the shadows and is as much of their slave as he was their master. The only difference is that the shadows don’t scream anymore, and are more or less docile unless Yami riles them up. And they don’t hurt him anymore, so that’s pretty good too.

#I dunno if these count as headcanons??#tho I guess headcanons ARE just ideas you think up of characters lmao #so I guess they are #also horray for main posting lmao guess you're getting more than art XD #yugioh season 0 #yugioh #ygo #yami yuugi #mutou yuugi #yami yugi #yugi moto #pharaoh atem #puzzleshipping

101 notes · View notes

celestial-dreamscapes · 2 years

Text

Taking care of you on your period - Obey Me

Characters: Lucifer, Asmodeus, Diavolo

A/N: I’ve seen a lot of these types of posts, but they don’t feel specific enough for me, so I did it myself 💀 Might do other parts with the other characters eventually or if it gets requested. Reposting cause this isn’t showing up in tags :’) Requests are open!

Warnings: mentions of throwing up, blood, nudity (not sexual), and mention of fainting

Word count: 1.7k

part 2

part 3

Lucifer:

-At the House of Lamentation, every day is a different person’s turn to cook. Conveniently enough, on the day it’s your turn, you’re hardly able to get out of your bed without the whole room spinning

-He definitely checks on whoever is meant to be cooking dinner every day a while before the usual time everyone sits to eat, since his brothers aren’t exactly the most punctual and responsible people around

-So he goes to check on you thinking you’re just being lazy and stuff, but he’s also a bit worried because he hasn’t seen you for a good portion of the day but didn’t realize it because of how busy he was

-After a while of lying down and feeling your body burning, you decide to try and pace around your room for a bit, hoping that a bit of movement would help ease the pain at least a little bit

-Except you’re still suffering so you’re kind of curled in on yourself, hunched over because it hurts to move but staying still feels like hell and it feels like nothing is working

-And you’re also trying not to puke the tiny amount of food you were able to just barely eat that morning because of the nausea

-I just know this man gets back pain, he definitely has some type of heating pad already that he keeps hidden away in his desk or something maybe like a couple rice packs or whatever the devildom version of those would be

-He’ll get you two of them, one for your back, one for your stomach and he also gives you a heavy pillow to put over your thighs in case they start hurting too (the weight helps quite a bit with the burning, and you feel less antsy)

-Once you feel better and are able to talk without the pain bothering you, he’s definitely gonna ask you more about it and if it’s that bad every month, so that he can be more prepared, especially if it gets worse the next time you get your period

-He’ll look into it some more and get you whatever supplements or meds you need (if you need any) to help with the pain and make sure you take them as often as you should

-Lucifer is such a workaholic but he’ll take a break since it’s for you 🥰

-Tbh he will probably give you an annoying lecture at some point ... as if you don’t know what you’re doing 😭 you just gotta tell him you obviously do know what you’re doing since it’s you feeling the pain and you’re doing what you can to take care of it but you’re not a doctor or able to just magically completely heal yourself and he’ll kinda shut up and stop being patronizing about it

-Will let you lay your head on his lap and he'll either play with your hair or rub your back gently until you either start feeling better, want to do something or want to get something to eat

Asmo:

-Asmo definitely has his fair share of experience with this kind of thing, I’m sure a few of the brothers do, but even though he loves to party and stuff, I doubt he’d just ditch everyone he’s with right after, he’d be attentive and especially if they got to know each other for a bit longer than just one night or a day, he’d learn to take care of them better

-He’ll notice you’re not feeling well and then ask you about it, but he doesn’t really need details, since he’s already familiar with humans and whatnot

-His bath is absolutely ginormous, so he’d definitely draw you a very hot bath (not to the point of it being super painful but enough to drown out the cramps with the amount of heat) + bubble bath if you’d prefer and Epsom salts to relieve the burning feeling on your back + other oils so the smells help you relax but nothing too strong

-If you’re comfortable with it he’ll keep you company while you take your bath and talk if you’re not feeling up to talking but don’t wanna be alone

-Or if you wanna play music to fill the silence and help you relax he’ll let you pick of course

-I feel like his room is very cool and not too stuffy which is perfect because the cramps make your body heat up a whole lot so if you’d like to stay, he’d let you nap on his bed and also bring you a heating pad just to help any more pain, just in case

-From the amount of cramps you were having + their intensity, he would know that you shouldn’t eat anything right away especially if you were nauseous as well, so he’d wait until about an hour and a half or so after you fall asleep to order something warm for you + he’d ask Solomon for recommendations because he’d know what foods are good for humans and stuff (he offers to cook something himself and Asmo has to hold himself back from telling him that the goal isn’t to hospitalize you 😭)

-He wouldn’t get anything spicy of course, since it could make your cramps even worse, and he doesn’t wanna risk it after they finally calm down/go away

-If it’s caused by vitamin deficiencies, he’ll order vitamin supplements for you and set alarms on his phone and remind you (over text or in person) when it’s time to take it, just in case you forget

-This man would absolutely not care the slightest bit if you happen to get some blood on his sheets, he may be super particular about lots of things but he knows that bedsheets being slightly stained is not a big deal and it hardly takes any time to wash them anyway, he’s so sweet too he’d probably try to make you feel better by saying he’s been meaning to change them anyway :’)

-He’ll gladly cuddle with you if you want, but he’s more than okay with giving you space if you want to just rest alone, as long as you have everything you need and have your phone near you so you can text or call him if you need anything else

-Will not hesitate to tell his brothers to shut up if they’re being loud when you’re resting because you need to replenish your energy and your hearing becomes more sensitive after all the pain (especially if you threw up before or were dizzy and your ears were ringing)

Diavolo:

-Let’s say you’re staying at the castle for a little while when you get your period all of a sudden

-It’s the first time you get it since coming to the devildom (since being around a bunch of demons would obviously cause quite a bit of stress, it just stopped for a while), so you’re a bit thrown off since it’s the last thing on your mind and you haven’t been keeping track of your cycle

-He’s not completely clueless when it comes to the differences between species and all that but he’s still not super great with how differently human bodies work in comparison to demons so he might just think you’re going to bleed to death for a little bit when you tell him :/ so you have to reassure him that you’re not gonna die and that unfortunately it is a very regular thing for humans

-Tbh you probably won’t be able to give him the whole rundown in detail of how it works because of how much pain you’re in so you just ask him to get you painkillers, and you go to take a nap and hope the pain fades once you fall asleep

-Instead, after napping for a bit the painkillers seem to just wear off as if you never took any to begin with and the pain comes back full force, so you ask him to draw you a hot bath

-The bath doesn’t seem to be helping much even after over half an hour of soaking in it so you decide to get out

-But then you get extremely dizzy all of a sudden, so you put on a towel robe and lay down on his bed to try and wait out the ringing in your ears + the dizziness and your heart beating insanely fast

-Conveniently enough you don’t have your phone on you and he’s who knows where probably working so you can’t even try to call him to help you (to get you a heating pad, painkillers, anything really, even just to have someone else’s presence because it legitimately feels like you’re about to die and not even in peace)

-You notice you got blood on the robe while lying down, so you go to the bathroom to get a pair of underwear and a pad (which you manage to do) but you get super nauseous all of a sudden so you just. sit on the floor for a bit, wearing basically nothing and hoping you’re not about to pass out or straight up die alone, partially naked on the cold bathroom floor

-After not too long (but what feels like a whole damn hour to you) he finally goes to his room and so you call him and he’s kinda panicky, but he brings you a new robe since you bled over the other one and helps you get up and walk over to his bed which is thankfully not too far from the bathroom since it’s in the room

-And then he helps you lie down under the covers, and then gives you a water bottle + he helps you drink from it since you’re dizzy and can’t really lift your head properly

-Gets into bed after you and just chills beside you, kinda rubbing your back and just making sure you’re not in too much pain (basically ignoring all the work he has to do)

-Makes sure you have food and water almost immediately after you wake up so the dizziness will go away faster

-Diavolo would feel really bad about not being able to help more, and I feel like he’d be the most likely to try to look into other solutions (aka stuff not meant for humans) if you find that human medicine and supplements aren’t doing anything even after months, he doesn’t want to see you in pain ever, let alone every single month, so he’d definitely want to fix the problem as soon as possible (and you do too obviously, although not exactly in the same way)

#lucifer x reader #obey me x reader #obey me! x reader #obey me shall we date #obey me! shall we date?#asmo x reader #asmodeus x reader headcanons #asmo x reader headcanons #diavolo x reader #diavolo x reader headcanons #obey me #om #omswd #omswd x reader #lucifer x reader headcanons #obey me headcanons #om headcanons #obey me!#obey me! headcanons

857 notes · View notes

christopherisfoive · 3 months

Text

Echoes

A/N: This is something that I would imagine to be a part of a bigger series but then again I struggle to write long term stories lol. Maybe at some point. Really just a snippet to get the gears going lol.

(Bang Chan x reader)

I never thought something I looked forward to would become so bitter. No room left for a sweet feeling any longer. Standing here off to the side with my group on stage waiting for final announcements to be made so that we can escape this awkward tension. I look toward Lea one of my favorite people in the world and her eyes meet mine. She reaches down and grabs my hand in hers. Both of us taking in big deep breaths.

"Well, I'm glad that we showed up late to avoid the mingling before the show." I sighed as she spoke. Usually we would be the first ones here jumping at all opportunities to catch up with everyone. Especially them. "Even if we were here before, we would still be completely ignored," Kat mumbled next to us. She looked over giving me a small smile, letting me know she was on my side.

All of this was my fault. Every hard stare. Every throat cleared in passing. Although was it? I was involved sure, with the rumors, that are undeniably false, in my eyes at least. It ruined my chances at a lot of opportunities and relationships. Staring to my left across the stage he stands there with the boys. Bang Chan, leader of Stray Kids. I make it sound a little silly but he is a very important person. To everyone and to me.

My mind goes back to the beginning of all of this. I had met this trainee over at SM named Donghae. He was very sweet and polite while making conversation, introducing himself to me. I would speak to him every now and then at events in passing.

I always saw him as a great acquaintance that I got to know. I would have never said we were anything more than friends and not even very close. "Donghae how are you doing today?" He smiled at me and clasped his hands together. "Much better now that we've gotten to speak." A nice warm and innocent smile that I had grown to really appreciate. Things did change after that.

At one of the award events Donghae came up to me and pulled me aside away from the girls. "Where did Y/N go? We have to go find our seats."

I followed him to the back of the room, not expecting a change of events that would affect my career for time to come. I remember the loud speakers and the chatter of people surrounding us. The nerves on his face and some sweat beading from the top of his forehead. I had a small smile on my face as he spoke.

Then I felt it slowly falter.

"Donghae, I-" I didn't know what to say. More like I knew what it was but I just didn't want to. Only because I knew that it would be what he didn't want to hear. I also heard something that I did not want to, so would it make it even? That is surely a silly way to think right? Thinking. I feel like I have been thinking for an eternity and he is standing right in front of me.

I played with my fingers, trying to not meet his eyes. I looked around for an escape but I didn't have one.

I coughed a bit hoping to get the words out. "That is very sweet of you Donghae but I just..." I closed my eyes and bit my lip. His eyes sparkled a bit and then they became dim in seconds. He knew. "I am sorry but I am not interested, I am really trying to focus on the group. I really want to put my all into this you know?" He looked down kicking his feet a bit. "It's fine Y/N, I understand. Sorry about that.

"Oh no you don't have to-" He walked away not waiting for another response.

I felt a small nudge to my back. I blinked a couple times remembering that I was standing on stage with a tons of our peers. I followed behind Lea walking towards the front of the stage to descend the steps as everyone began to leave.

As I was about to step down I made a sudden stop and almost tripped over myself. Bang Chan next to me and the rest of stray kids behind him. "Be careful guys we wouldn't want to get on her bad side." He smirked and proceeded to walk on off the stage. His lost boys following behind him. The last of them, Felix, gave me a sincere look of concern.

I sighed and walked down to the girls. "What an ass."

"Yeah its a good thing you never got involved with him." I force a laugh looking around again. He still thinks ill of me because of what I did. They all do. Lea noticed me becoming more aloof and linked her arm with mine. "You know he doesn't know the whole story right? It would take a village to get all of these people to understand. Why try?"

I would try in hopes of clearing my name. These people's opinions were important to me for some reason. Was it so wrong that I wanted their attention? I wanted his attention?

#bang chan #stray kids #skz x reader #skz imagines #bangchan x reader #stray kids imagines #idol!reader #idol!reader x bang chan #skz #skz x y/n

29 notes · View notes

set-phasers-to-whump · 7 months

Text

i'll save myself (you'll save me too)

prompt: bloody knife

whumpee: neal caffery

fandom: white collar

it's been a minute since i've hurt neal but he remains so very whumpable :) hope you enjoy!!

The knife clatters to the ground, impossibly loud in the complete stillness of the night. The blade is shiny and red with his blood and beneath the feeble glow of a single streetlight it’s almost iridescent.

He can’t stop looking at it, even as he presses his hands against the hole in his stomach hard enough to make spots appear in his vision.

He sinks to the ground in an uncoordinated manner, back to the rough brick of the wall behind him, legs splayed out in front of him. His blood is warm against his palms but with every second that passes he feels colder and colder.

He should get up. Find someone to help him. But he isn’t strong enough for that. He feels like he is glued to this spot.

He doesn’t want to die here. Alone.

An idea suddenly takes shape in his mind, and once the full force of it hits him he wonders why on earth he hadn’t thought of it at once.

He steels himself for the upcoming pain, then very slowly and very carefully crawls forwards until his hand wraps around the hilt of the knife.

He returns to his position against the wall, presses his left hand back to his stomach and adjusts his grip on the knife with his right hand.

This will be difficult. The knife’s hilt and blade, and his hand, are slick with blood and it is very difficult to maintain a firm grip. But whatever he can manage will have to be enough.

He uses the tip of the knife to lift the leg of his pants, then positions it against his tracker. All he needs is to either cut through the band or damage the tracker itself. From then, it’ll be a matter of minutes - he hopes - until the FBI realizes something is wrong, until they send someone after him - he wants Peter, but he’ll take absolutely anyone, even if they want to arrest him.

He doesn’t much like his chances of sawing through the band of the tracker, and this seems like the option more likely to result in further injury to his person, so he opts instead to simply attack the tracker.

He goes after it with the knife, careful as he can be, striking the thing over and over until bits of plastic litter the ground around him. He keeps at it until the light on it goes out. Please let this be enough, he thinks, letting the knife clatter back to the ground.

He presses his right hand back atop his left, dizzy and trembling from the exertion, and waits.

He’s all but unconscious when he becomes aware of a presence nearby. He opens his eyes with a considerable amount of effort and squints into the shadows near the mouth of the alley.

“Hello?” he asks. His voice barely sounds like his own.

Hurried footsteps, and then who but Peter should step beneath the glow of the streetlight?

“Neal!” Peter exclaims, his eyes going wide as he takes in the scene in front of him. Neal feels the absurd desire to stand up, to distance himself from his own blood spilled across the asphalt.

As it is, though, he can barely remain conscious while doing absolutely nothing but sitting still.

Peter speaks to someone. Neal catches the word ambulance and breathes a sigh of relief. An ambulance means, probably, that he’s not going to be arrested - at least not right now. He’s going to the hospital, which is hardly his favorite place, but they’ll be able to fix him. Stop the pain and the dizziness and all of it.

“Just hold on a little longer,” Peter says, and he’s crouched beside Neal now, hand on his shoulder and looking far too worried for Neal’s liking.

“It’s that bad, huh?” Neal asks. The words jumble themselves together on their way out of his mouth, but Peter understands anyway.

“It’s pretty bad. But you’ll be okay.” He says it so confidently that Neal has no choice but to believe him.

“I’ll be okay,” he agrees, hands slipping off of his torso. He lacks the energy to replace them. His eyes want to close, no matter how much he knows he should keep them open.

“Hey, don’t do that. Don’t pass out,” Peter commands, and then his hands are pressing into Neal’s stomach, far too hard. It hurts, a lot, and Neal’s eyes open again.

“Ow,” he mutters, trying and failing to push Peter’s hands away.

“Sorry,” Peter says. “Just - try to stay awake, okay? An ambulance will be here any minute.”

“Okay,” Neal replies, very quietly. He’s so tired and so dizzy and he wants nothing more than for everything to fade into nothingness, but Peter wants him to stay awake, so he will.

When the ambulance arrives a few minutes later, he’s still stubbornly conscious, and he doesn’t pass out until they’ve reached the hospital and a nurse injects him with anesthesia.

He wakes up with a dull pain in his gut and a floaty sensation in his head. Memories float to the surface of his mind - blood, brick, pain - and he doesn’t bother trying to latch onto them.

He’s in the hospital. He knows that much. When he opens his eyes he finds himself in a small, dark room. There is a chair beside his bed and a figure sitting in it, slumped to the side in a way that will surely cause problems when he wakes.

It’s Peter. He’s asleep, snoring occasionally, and there’s a book lying flat on the floor as though it’d slipped out of his grasp when he’d fallen asleep.

A warm feeling forms in his chest at the thought that Peter is here, that he’d stayed. That he is not alone.

He falls back asleep with a soft smile on his face.

thanks for reading!!! hope you liked <33333

#whumptober2023 #no.28 #bloody knife #white collar #fic #neal caffrey #stabbed #hospital #my writing #i say things #these guys are a staple what can i say. some of the og's.#anyway i am shortly going to a halloween party very excited! it's me and a bunch of mainly #late 20's-30's queer dudes. love them. they are so fun and it's really enjoyable being friends with Real Adults TM

37 notes · View notes