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jpitha · 6 months

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Don’t worry, I know someone.

Gev, Palitan, and Vivian stood in front of the door. It was at least three meters tall, 2 wide, and made of metal. It was inscribed with words in at least 4 different languages.

It was unfortunate that nobody knew any of them.

“Well, It’s clearly a warning.” Gev gestured towards the text. His furry, clawed hand tapping the lowest text, which was at their eye level. “Whoever made this would not have done it in so many languages if it wasn’t something important to be read by everyone who came by. I’m sure whatever is behind this door is dangerous.”

“No, it’s clearly a proclamation. Something some ancient Ruler wanted to be known far and wide. Information that was important to their peoples. They might have ruled a large swath of land, home to many peoples who spoke many languages. It’s designed for intelligibility. That’s why it’s in so many languages.” Palitan’s upper tentacles stroked the sunken carved letters while Vivian made a face. Her archeological training was screaming in her head at them touching this clearly ancient thing.

Gev’s laquered claws slid in and out of their sheaths. “It’s unfortunately really that we’ll never know what it says. We could learn so much about these people.”

Vivian looked up from her notes. “Why wouldn’t we know what it says?”

Gev laughed his barking cough of a laugh. “The people who wrote this are millennia passed. There hasn’t been anyone who has spoken this language in at least one thousand solar cycles. Viv, you humans need to understand that sometimes there are just things in the universe we’ll never learn.”

Vivian scoffed. “Well, then if you think you’ll never learn this, you won’t mind if I give it a try. You can continue your survey.” She began unpacking a portable sensorium from its carrying case.

Palitan’s chromatophores swirled and flashed confusion. “Vivian, you’re not a linguist, you’re an archeologist. How can you learn an ancient language?”

”I’m not a linguist, but I know some. Don’t you network Palitan? Don’t you make friends outside of your discipline?” Vivian didn’t look up from the case as she clipped together a framework and started attaching recording devices at regular intervals.

Palitan’s swirling colors stopped, and they settled on the cool blue of curiosity. “I mean, I do but… I have a feeling humans do it differently.”

Vivian chuckled. “I doubt it Palitan. Humans are just human. We’re not some kind of strange and special people.”

Gev’s fur rippled. “Now you’re being modest. I’ve seen your homeworld, and its gigantic moon. Another planetary body that large that close? It must have done something to your development.”

That was enough to make Vivian look up from her work. “Gev, you’re telling me that moon power makes humans unique? Do you hear what you’re saying? Can you hear how that sounds?”

Gev’s small ears - looking oddly like teddy bear ears - waggled. He was being deliberately silly.

After about a tenth of a cycle of work Vivian had the sensorium completely set up. The framework was positioned around the door and the projectors and emitters were in place. She signaled to their ship in orbit, and it dialed a connection that she provided in the ansible. As Gev and Palitan watched, there was a short tone, and the holoprojectors resolved the image of someone. It was a Gren, tall and imposing with their reverse articulated legs and many sets of eyes. It turned and looked around and seeing Vivian their mouthparts opened wide in their version of a grin. “Vivian! You old battlestar! How have you been?”

Smiling, Vivian put her hands on her hips and faced the Gren directly. The sensorium sensed her reaction and focused on her. “I’m doing well Tami’tarr. I’m pleased to see you’re still taking my calls.”

“How could I not, Vivian? Your calls always show me something… interesting. What do you need today?” They gestured towards the door. “Something to do with this I presume?”

Vivian nodded and walked over to the projection. Standing next to them, Gev and Palitan marveled at how it looked like the Gren was here next to them. They knew about the sensorium of course. Ever since the humans came onto the scene they brought their multi-sense recording device with them. They especially liked using them in interviews so that the whole room could be recorded. The sights, sounds, smells, even touch and temperature could be recorded and played back so anyone could almost be where the event was recorded. They were unaware of them being used as a projection device however. Vivian took out a small digital pointer. “It’s a door - we think - looks like pre-fall Heliman. None of the languages carved into the door are Heliman however. I know they had relations with a few of the sapients in their nearby section of space, but we don’t recognize any of the languages here. Do you?”

“Hmm.” Tami’tarr peered at the words on the door. His body made a rumbling noise that Vivian couldn’t help think sounded like a contented purr. Tami’tarr always liked a mystery. He leaned back and gestured with his own pointer. “Here, near the top. This one looks like it’s Late three hundredth dynasty Uutipan. I can’t read it though, I just recognize the shape of the words. Do you know Professor Filomina at Brekin University?”

Vivian nodded. “I met her two years ago at the conference. You were there. I think you introduced us.”

Tami’tarr’s mouthparts waggled a nod. “Ah yes, you are correct. She can translate Uutipan. I don’t know if she understands all the way back to the late three hundredth dynasty, but she’ll know it better than me.”

“Thanks Tami’tarr. I’ll give her a ring.” Vivian reached up and patted Tami’tarr through the sensorium.

“Let me know what she finds. I must admit I haven’t seen something like this before either.”

“Of course, Tam. Talk to you soon.” The Gren disappears as the connection is broken.

Vivian spends the next solar day making calls, making small talk and describing her problem. Gev and Palitan spend the time taking measurements and gathering other information on the site. “Vivian is wasting her time.” Gev shakes his head irritatedly. “She should be helping us take measurements. The words are untranslatable.”

Palitan’s color shifts to a acquiescing yellow. “That may be Gev, but she has gotten permission to run the dig in her own way. If we could translate the text, it would be helpful. We can afford to have her burn a day going through her address book pestering her friends.”

‘Hmmph. That’s their problem.”

“What? Vivian?”

“Humans in general. You tell them something can’t be done and their first reaction is to go ‘I bet I can actually do it.’ They wind up wasting time and resources on things that were declared impossible a century ago.”

Palitan says nothing, but continues to work.

Just before evening meal, Palitan and Gev save their work and upload their measurements and notes and make the way back to the door. Now, Vivian is talking with a K’laxi they’ve never met. They’re one of the few sapient species that is actually shorter than the human and they’re both standing very close to the door, looking at the bottommost carvings. The K’laxi is talking very animatedly as they walk up.

“…haven’t seen things like this in decades! I can’t believe you found another example Viv! This completely upends our research on what we knew about the late three hundredth dynasty! You’ve given me enough here to write three papers at least. You’ll get co-authorship of course.”

Vivian laughed. “I appreciate your generosity Lem. Let me know when you need my notes.”

Lem snapped their pad closed and stood. “As soon as you have them compiled please.”

Vivian bent straight and stretched. “You got it Lem. See you soon.”

Their tail flicked and they winked and the holo disconnected. Vivian stared disassembling the sensorium.

“Have you given up Vivian? Ready to continue the work we were assigned to do?” Gev’s fur bristled. “Well, too bad, we’ve completed the measurements. I’ll be sure to let the head know about this.”

Palitan’s color switched to a pale pink of surprise. “Gev! There’s no need to be hostile. The head stated that Vivian’s main job was to learn more about the people who built this.”

Gev’s head bobbed vigorously. “Indeed. And spending all day calling the entire galaxy to translate a door tells us nothing about who built this site!”

Vivian finished putting the sensorium away in its case and stood. She calmly walked over to Gev and Palitan. Palitan was only a little taller than her, and Gev was nearly two meters tall and was more than a bit intimidating. She looked down at her pad.

“This door shall remain open from dawn to dusk without exception. The offices herein will be open according to the hours mounted on their doors. All who enter shall surrender their weapons. A chit will be provided verifying their ownership. Those with appointments with the Head Builder are to check in with the front desk before proceeding to the Builder office.

“What’s that? What are you talking about?” Gev looked down at her irritatedly.

Palitan nudged Gev with one of his tentacles. “It’s the translation of the door.”

Gev looked down at Vivian and at the translation she showed him. All of the different languages were translated and sure enough, they said what she read off to him. It was a protocol note on what to do at the Builder Administration building.

Palitan gestured excitedly. “Gev! That means this was a Builder building! Part of the original Empress! Not only did they have local influence, but they either traded with, or were a part of the full empire. We’re far away from a Gate too, I wonder if one was destroyed, or they just flew a long way.”

Vivian nodded. “See Gev? Now that we know what the door says, it opens up so many new questions that we can try an answer. Even though the door is ‘just’ protocol rules, it implies so much more.”

“Hmmph.” Gev says nothing but his ears twitch.”

Palitan’s coloring changes to an impressed green. “Vivian, this is amazing. You figured all this out in just one day!”

“That’s just is Palitan. I didn’t do it. I knew people who could help. I wound up calling five different experts while you were working. It pays to know people.” Vivian picks up the sensorium case. “It’s not what you know, but who you know.”

#humans are deathworlders #writing #sci fi writing #jpitha #humans are space capybaras #humans and aliens #humans are space australians #humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities #I know me a guy #Humans know someone #pack bonding

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jennaimmortal · 6 months

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Hey OFMD friends! There’s a few little things (and one big thing) I’d like to try to clear up based on a number of discussions I’ve seen in various places.

1. Stede understands sex & sex references. When he responds with “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” or something similar, that’s a posh people thing. They pretend they’ve never heard of sex whenever it’s brought up in public or with strangers. Just weird aristocrat things! But Stede knows. He’d definitely had plenty of (likely not very pleasant) sex with his wife, and he’d very likely had other sexual experiences as well. More importantly, though, he’s a voracious reader! The man likely had a whole stash of filthy, bawdy novels & books of poetry. There was PLENTY of it, even back then!

2. Ed & Stede’s inn is NOT on the same island as the Republic of Pirates. They’d never settle on an island currently occupied by British military. They sailed away from the Republic of Pirates & went to a totally different island.

3. Frenchie is the new Captain because he was already First Mate, so there was no reason for them to take a vote. Yes, the crew chose Olu in 1x9, but that was when they were mutinying against Izzy & there was no official First Mate in place. The crew don’t seem to have any qualms about Frenchie’s abilities (so far anyway!) It will be a lot of fun to explore that dynamic in S3.

4. Zheng’s very likely only going to be with The Revenge until she finds one of her remaining ships that weren’t in the Republic of Lirates harbor when Ricky attacked.

I’m hoping, though, that we, the audience, will get lucky enough to keep Zheng with them for a while before she does find one of her own ships. I definitely want to see some shenanigans with The Crew, Zheng, & Auntie, including at least one raid. Fingers crossed!

The one BIG thing:

There are MANY disabled characters on the show. Wee John has mobility issues & chronic pain. Lucius is an artist & scribe w an amputated finger & also has chronic back pain. Swede has scurvy. Jackie’s right hand is a prosthetic.

It’s extremely important to understand that all disabilities are relevant no matter how visible they are. There has been some very harmful discourse about disability representation surrounding Izzy’s death & it really needs to stop. A HUGE percentage of disabilities are invisible. Those of us (yep, myself included) with invisible disabilities have had to fight tooth & nail for basic recognition & acknowledgement, let alone benefits & proper medical treatment. We’re still fighting & it’s a major uphill battle!

Let’s not give more ammunition to those fighting against us by claiming that Izzy’s disability was the only important one.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk! 💞

#our flag means death #ofmd #stede bonnet #ed teach #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd s2 #izzy hands #ofmd discourse

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hellobabydoll333 · 1 month

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Fixing My Bad Habits {goals + how to achieve them}

Goals:

Asleep by 10:00 pm

Sleeping by 10 PM allows your body to keep a consistent melatonin secretion pattern, which in turn helps the body's internal rhythms function properly and provide natural rest and renewal at night.

Drinking more water

For optimal health and well-being, it is recommended to consume around 2-3 liters of water per day as a rough guideline.

Regular exercise

Lots of benefits that maintain & improve physical body such as flexibility, increased energy levels (which I definitely need), sleep quality & strength and mental health such as enhanced productivity, confidence and self-compassion.

Meditation

To reduce my stress & anxiety levels, as well as increase my self esteem as I’m spending more time with myself and my thoughts. But also improving my focus & concentration while also taking a break from the world around me.

Study

I have a course I have to prepare for me and I’m not tryna be the only person who don’t know shit.

More Positive Self Talk

If you know my blog, you know I do a lot of vaunting- basically affirmations- but I sometimes even stray away. However I noticed that when I do stay talking positively about myself, I see everything from such a lighter perspective. I talked a bit about this in LOA Reminders, but I’m all about self love & acceptance and even though I have this blog I’m still on this journey as well.

Journaling

Journaling is so fun y’all. It’s like… why tell other people my problems when I can tell myself…? It enhances self AND emotional awareness, provides a healthy outlet for your thoughts & feelings, helps you reflect & understand yourself more and provides a safe, non-judge mental place for you vent & express your frustrations. Journaling also provides a sense of clarity & direction & helps with setting goals and maintains focus & so much more. 10/10 def recommend. You don’t even have to write or type.. you could do video diaries. I def wanna try that.

Good Posture

Y’all ever seen that video of wonyoung sitting with such good posture like… I need that. Good posture supports your spine and promotes good breathing and circulation while also enhancing your self perception & self awareness & making you seem more approachable

How I am going to achieve them

By starting off small. I noticed that when I rush into things, I often give up, thinking it’s too much for me to keep up with. And that’s okay...

Asleep by 9:45 pm

Drink 3 bottles of water everyday.

I do about three exercises per day.

5 minutes meditation twice a day.

2 educational videos everyday & at the end of the day, write out what I’ve learned

Say a vaunt at least three times a day- morning, afternoon & night.

Journaling at the end of every day and whenever else I need to rant. Y’all ever feel like y’all over share cuz that’s definitely me… but honestly sometimes you just need to talk to yourself. Self reflection is important.

Posture. I’m already pretty aware of my posture when I sit most times so I just sit up right, but I will be practicing self awareness more and eventually perfect posture will be natural to me.

As soon as I find myself naturally in a routine, I will then do a slow & small increase which will lead to another increase.

Remember: Don’t rush yourself and it’s okay to slip up. But it’s also crucial to try your best to not fall off of a routine because getting back on it can be really hard.

#angeldust.mp3 #dream girl #it girl #self concept #law of assumption #dream girl tips #loassumption #wonyoungism #self care #level up #girlblog #this is a girlblog #girblogger #girlblogging #mental wellness #glow up #dream girl guide #SoundCloud #pretty princess syndrome

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twyftwyt · 3 months

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this is going to be a long one, so prepare yourselves, cause I need to get some stuff off my chest

All that’s wrong in the BO fandom and with BO themselves:

1. Proper media training - I think none of the boys in the band, aside from Noah, have proper media training and it shows in interviews. I feel like, with them growing so big over the last year, they need to take some proper time and do that, so we can save each other the little awkward moments where interviewers ask weird questions or make even weirder statements and the guys just sit there looking a little lost.

2. Their crew needs to chill (at times) - Now I understand that every fandom has got their crazies, it’s a part of the lore, but come on! I’ve seen not once or twice, crew members being mean towards the fandom, calling us dumb and whatnot. If I see something I don’t like or find weird/stupid/pointless/delusional, I might share it with my friends, but I won’t go around posting about it on my story/twitter. There are people in this fandom that go overboard and need to be shown the door, but when you show disrespect to one, you show disrespect to all and that, I feel, needs to be stated somewhere. Matt is unnecessarily mean sometimes and so are Steven and other crew members. I feel like if I were in their position, I’d probably want to call out people on their shit too, but no need to do it ALL THE TIME.

3. The band is too closed off - And don’t get me wrong here, I understand and respect boundaries, but it sounds and feels a little contradictory when the lead singer of the band says in an interview that he feels closer to some of the artists he listens to, because he’s read their life story. The irony in that is massive. When you deny fans of little things like posts here and there, sharing a little something personal (example: Dove Cameron, Halsey, Thirty Seconds to Mars are all artists that make and write their own music and I’ve heard at least one story from each of them on how a personal event inspired said song). So when you deny fans of little things like that, you get obsessive people who try ro dig up your personal life, just to feel a bit more connected to your music. Everything can be regulated, I feel, if done and said right.

4. They all (the band and crew) need to collectively accept the fact that the band’s becoming massive, which means that they will attract all kinds of fans. Fans that will be there only for Noah. Fans that will be there only for TikTok hits like “Just Pretend” and whatnot. And they’d benefit so much more from those people if they just knew how to use everything to their advantage. Now one little comment from the crew sets the whole fandom ablaze. They’re not a small town band supporting bigger acts on tour anymore.

ok, I’ll stop yapping now and remember, this is just my opinion, you don’t have to agree with it and you also don’t have to argue with me on it ✌🏻

#noah sebastian #bad omens #bad omens cult #nicholas ruffilo #nick folio #jolly karlsson

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pukanavis · 4 days

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Fuyume Hanamura Idol Story 2

ーA basic studio within the ES building, two years since the establishment of ES

Fuyume: …

Midori: …

(What am I supposed to do?)

(This new kid…Hanamura-san, was it? The staff told him that I'm going to be using my experience in the field to guide him through today’s job.)

(It’s already been a whole 20 minutes since then and neither of us have said a word to each other..)

Fuyume: …

Midori: (I-I have to do what they told me to and teach him what he needs to do. I know I suck at this stuff but between the two of us, I’m the one who’s more familiar with this type of work.)

(But there’s no way I can bring myself to do it. I really, really don’t want to.)

(This kid is radiating an aura that screams ‘don’t talk to me’...this whole time, he’s been doing something on his phone while occasionally whispering and muttering to himself.)

(I think…he’s even been taking selfies and posting them online…?)

(It feels like he’s in a world of his own making.)

(I’m scared~, I don’t like it~ , I don’t wanna talk to him~...)

(Now that I think about it, he was there listening when the staff put me in charge of coaching him so he must know what’s going on too.)

(He should be turning to me and saying something like ‘Please give me your guidance, Senpai!’. It’s the polite thing to do, really.)

Fuyume: …Um.

Midori: !? Y-Yes? What’s the matter…?

Fuyume: …They’re calling Yume.

Midori: (Huh, what does that mean? Is he one of those people that hear voices that aren’t there? Is he 'cuckoo', as people used to say?)

Fuyume: It looks like it’s time for Yume to go up now.

Midori: (Oh, right, the staff are calling for him. Seems like they’re ready to start the shoot.)

(What do I do? I didn’t teach him how to do a single thing.)

(From what I’ve heard, it sounds like this kid is a popular amateur model? I think they call it a cos…player?)

(There’s no need for me to come in acting high and mighty and tell him what to do, right?)

(I bet he’s already familiar with how these jobs work. He seems so confident for some reason…?)

Fuyume: Fufufu. Yume will do his best.

Today, you’re all invited to step into Yume’s world

Fuyume: Sniffle. Sniffle sniffle.

Midori: (What am I supposed to do?)

(All that confidence he was giving off was just a front…)

(He doesn’t know the first thing about professional modelling and kept insisting on using methods from his amateur days.)

(I wonder what that one staff member did to have this kid going off at him the entire time? Just when I thought he’s behaving well, he suddenly started berating and denying that guy’s humanity.)

(Not to mention all the complaints he has about the lighting or the costume...)

(He started telling the staff to take pictures from his cutest angle and even asked to wear the outfit he had brought along himself.)

(After all the back and forth, it was agreed to put the shoot on hold for a while. When this guy realised the staff weren’t going to listen to his opinions, that's when the tears started...)

(The staff asked me to see if I could do something to motivate him or change his mindset but…is that even in the job description? Shouldn’t this be the responsibility of a manager or something?)

(Who am I kidding? We probably wouldn’t be in this mess if I had just done my job and shown him what to do from the start.)

(I’m at fault here too, so I feel like I should at least do something.)

Fuyume: Midori-sama.

Midori: Huh? Yes, what’s…wait, ‘Midori-sama’ ?

Fuyume: Yume has seen you in a magazine before and thought you were as dashing as a prince. Fufu.

So you’re Midori-sama. ‘Cause you’re a prince. Fufufu.

Needless to say, you don’t have what it takes to be called Yume’s prince, since that title is already taken by another.

There is no sin in beauty. Fufufufu.

Midori: (Huh…? What is he talking about…? I don’t understand a word that’s coming out of his mouth. Are all the kids like this these days…?)

(Hey, wait a second? He’s acting surprisingly unfazed for somebody that I thought was crying into his hands just a minute ago? Was he faking it…?)

Fuyume: Melon soda, plum and kelp tea, coffee.

Midori: ? What? Are you casting some kind of spell?

Fuyume: I’m trying to make the drink that Esu found during his adventure. What else was in it again…?

Midori: I-It’s going to taste awful if you mix so many random flavours together.

Fuyume: I’ll be able to drink it. I will drink it. I want to relive Esu��s story for myself.

Bottoms up. Glug glug…

……

Fuyume: …

Midori: Tastes awful, huh…? I warned you not to drink it. You can tell just from looking at it how bad of an idea that is.

Here, spit it into this cup.

Fuyume: Urgh, Yume has a long way to go.

His image of a perfect princess is still far out of reach.

—I’m sorry, Midori-sama.

Midori: Uh, for what? I can’t keep up with this conversation…

Fuyume: Yume messed up again…he couldn’t keep his ego in check and screwed up the job. He even made Midori-sama mad.

So…Yume is sorry.

Midori: Oh, uh, you did cause a lot of problems but…no, nevermind, that’s not true. I should be apologising too. I was trusted to be your mentor but I haven’t taught you a single thing.

I’ve failed as a senpai, huh?

Fuyume: It’s alright. Besides, even if you had given Yume some pointers, if he didn’t like what he heard, he'd probably just get annoyed and ignore you.

He’s always been like this—so egotistical. It’s the only princess quality he has.

Regardless, Yume is sorry. The staff member that Yume was blowing up at was someone he had met before. They'd shown up to one of Yume’s photo shoots in the past with a super bigheaded attitude.

They were giving out business cards and masquerading as a professional. It was seriously the worst, they started taking over and ruined the mood on set.

A photo shoot is supposed to be a part of Yume’s world.

Ever since that day, Yume hasn’t been able to forget all the hate and frustration that he felt. When he saw that they were here today, he couldn’t stop his emotions from bursting out.

Yume can’t stand being in their line of sight. He hates being treated like a toy and having that person making up their own ideas of him…so, uhm, he’s sorry.

Yume honestly never wanted to cause all this trouble for you.

Yume was hoping we could get along…he wanted to talk to you but he was too embarrassed and nervous to know how to.

You looked like you were in a bad mood today, Midori-sama. The vibe you were giving off made it seem like you didn’t want anyone to approach you.

Midori: (Oh…)

(So we both had the same impression of each other…I should’ve known that he’d be feeling nervous about his first professional job.)

(Even I was feeling anxious when I first arrived on set.)

(I know how it feels to be in his position…that’s exactly why they asked me to be his mentor today.)

(I’m terrible, aren’t I? I’m never going to make any growth.)

Hanamura-san.

Fuyume: Yes?

Midori: Let’s go and apologise to the staff once you’ve had a drink and taken a moment to calm down.

Fuyume: Yume doesn’t want to apologise.

Midori: Oh…okay, I understand. If you want, I can go and ask for the staff member that doesn't like you to be removed.

It’s within our right to request things like that. You can even step away from jobs you don’t want to do too.

Fuyume: …

Midori: That being said, if we don’t do our jobs properly, we’ll cause problems for even those that don’t have anything against you, Hanamura-san.

We'll end up being hated and labelled as 'someone I don't want to work with' by the people around us.

Fuyume: Yume hates being hated.

Midori: Then let’s go and give them a proper apology. Once we’ve done that, we can focus on finishing off the job.

It might be late, but I’ll teach you the correct methods to use. Since I’m your senpai, I’ll make sure I put you on the right path.

Admittedly, this’ll be tough for me…I’m not important enough to be bossing people around, and I suck at talking to people too.

Fuyume: Mm…Yume isn’t good at it either. People always seem to get confused when he tries to have a normal conversation with them. It’s weird.

Midori: That was meant to be a normal conversation earlier…? You really do live in a world of your own.

(Crap, I didn’t mean to say that out loud. He’s probably going to get mad at me now. Judging by the way he seems to hate being challenged, I’ll bet that he always had his way in the amateur world.)

Fuyume: Fufufu. Thank you, Midori-sama.

Midori: (Huh? He took it surprisingly well? This kid doesn't make any sense to me…)

Fuyume: Yume wants to put his world on display for everyone to see.

He's grateful that you noticed its existence.

You made Yume happy, so Yume must thank you.

Fufufufu, Yume just had a sudden burst of motivation. He’s going to turn over a new leaf and do the very best he can to make sure this job is a success.

Midori: R-Right…I’m glad you’ve found some motivation.

I’ll do some reflecting of my own and give it my all too.

Let’s work together to finish this job, Hanamura-san.

Fuyume: Stop saying ‘Hanamura-san’, Yume wants you to call him ‘Yume’ instead. It’s been getting on his nerves all day. Yume doesn’t feel like working anymore.

Midori: Whaaat…?

#Fuyume Hanamura #Midori Takamine #ensemble stars #enstars translation #4piece

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padawanlost · 2 months

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just saw a text post about how leia killing a slave master when anakin was a slave himself is cool but i find it interesting how ppl can find rational things to point out for stuff like that but when its anakin disliking a sandy planet like its ridiculous thing for him to say? but made so much sense cause you know... he's been enslaved there with his mom as a kid. idk i guess im still bitter of hayden/anakins treatment of his character

I get it but I believe the key here is to understand this weird moment we are a living right now (suddenly the prequels are cool and *everyone* had always loved them) by separating the old negative crap we were used to, from the genuine takes coming from the new found love the prequels are getting.

What I’m trying to say is the people who are excited by the prequels, who are discovering the value of the movies for the first time or just rediscovering it after so long, are not necessarily the same people who trashed the movies and made fun of Anakin’s “sand issues” or Hayden’s performance. So, to me at least, there’re two different issues here:

1 – for the longest time PT fans and Anakin fans had to deal with unfair amount of criticism, hate, mockery and even attacks. These behaviors came from part of the fandom and the media because for the longest time hating on the prequels made you cool and a “real star wars fan”.

2 – we have a bunch of new fans (literal new fans but also old fans who didn’t like or didn’t want to be seen liking the prequels) who are now vocal about the PT-Era, who want to talk about it, to engage, to discuss and, you know, just share their appreciation for the movies.

I try not to mix the two, especially in this particular case. From my own experience with this fandom, the people who trashed Anakin for not liking sand didn’t understand his character enough to get the impact slavery had on the Skywalker family.

I’ve talked about the “sand issue” here before:

But, to sum it up, the meaning behind the “I hate sand” is pretty obvious once you look beyond “Anakin is whiny/The prequels suck/George Lucas ruined my life”.

“When I was in Level Three, we used to come here for school retreat,” she said. She pointed out across the way, to another island. “See that island? We used to swim there every day. I love the water.” “I do, too. I guess it comes from growing up on a desert planet.” He was staring at her again, his eyes soaking in her beauty. He could tell that Padmé sensed his stare, but she pointedly continued to look out over the water. “We used to lie on the sand and let the sun dry us … and try to guess the names of the birds singing.” “I don’t like the sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating. And it gets everywhere.” Padmé turned to look back at him “Not here,” Anakin went on. “It’s like that on Tatooine—everything’s like that on Tatooine. But here, everything’s soft, and smooth.” As he finished, hardly even aware of the motion, he reached out and stroked Padmé’s arm. [R.A. Salvatore. Attack of the Clones]

It’s about childhood trauma, privilege and systemic injustice and inequality. The sand physically represents everything Anakin loathes about his home planet, specially when compared to Padmé’s own childhood and home planet:

“This is Anakin. Anakin, this is Ryoo and Pooja!” The blush on the pair as they shyly said hello brought a burst of laughter from Padmé and a smile to Anakin’s face, though he was equally ill at ease as the two children. The girls’ shyness lasted only as long as it took for them to notice the little droid rolling behind Anakin, trying to catch up. “Artoo!” they shouted in unison. Breaking away from Padmé, they rushed to the droid, leaping upon him, hugging him cheek to dome. And R2-D2 seemed equally thrilled, beeping and whistling as happily as Anakin had ever heard. Anakin couldn’t help but be touched by the scene, a view of innocence that he had never known. Well, not never, he had to admit. There were times when Shmi had found some way to produce such moments of joy amid the drudgery that was life as a slave on Tatooine. In their own way, in that dusty, dirty, hot, and smelly place, Anakin and his mother had carved out a few instants of innocent beauty. Here, though, such moments seemed so much more the norm than the memorable exception. [R.A. Salvatore. Attack of the Clones]

[Ahsoka] was hyperalert again, all her instincts firing. One of these millennia she’d make a pretty good Jedi, probably. Provided he could smooth the rough edges off her. “Yes, Master,” she said. “You can trust me.” He frowned down at her. Was I ever this young? Was this how I used to look to Obi-Wan? He doubted it. Slaves lost their innocence while they were still in the cradle. [Karen Miller. Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Wild Space]

Of course, because it became a meme used to “expose” George Lucas inability to write, direct or even understand what Star Wars is all about (eyeroll), that’s what most casual viewer think about when someone says “I hate sand”. But, on a more hopeful note, I do believe we’re doing good work claiming it back, by talking about it and even making memes about it in a way that’s not offensive to the characters, actors or fans. There are healthy, fun ways to laugh at Star wars without diminishing the experiences and feelings of others.

Anakin represents so much different things to so many different fans it’s impossible to put everything in one single answer, but I hope you know I do understand exactly how you feel. I’m also very protective of Anakin, flaws and all. And it does annoy me to see people dismiss him and Hayden’s work in ways that can be very…cruel. But, Prequel/Anakin’s fans are awesome and now we’ve reclaimed the prequels proper place in history as peak star wars, we are unstoppable!! So let them come!

They just can’t accept how incredible Anakin’s story is, and that’s their loss.

“Anakin had always hated sand. It was one of the many things about his Padawan that Obi-Wan understood better now that Anakin was dead. That was the horror of losing someone: Understanding came too late.” [Obi-wan Kenobi in Jude Watson’s The Last One Standing]

#ask #anon #sw meta #anakin skywalker #meta: anakin #mine #txt

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wayfayrr · 10 months

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Part four for the houshusband AU! Sage gets up to more crimes but also decides to do legal things now ✨ [1] [2] [3]

As I've been asked for it this gets a taglist now! Feel free to ask if you want to be added to it <3 @browneyedgirl22 ✦ @angry-trashcan

Didn’t take long for Sage to get comfortable, It didn't take long at all. Really he - he’s too comfortable now. Does he have no shame? Not like I’m also not a lot more comfortable now. Getting out, even just to a place like this, helps clear everything and get back to normal. Mostly.

“No Sage you can’t just go around putting whatever you please into your Purah pad.”

He’s worse than even a toddler would be in a supermarket for the first time and naturally with how he's holding me I'm being dragged along with him. Of course, I understand he's not entirely used to shops like this, I've played the games I know what he's used to. But still he still usually has a pretty good ability to read the tone of a situation.

Is it because he's not worried about what anyone here is going to think of him being this clingy?

Actually, I will admit it's adorable to see him acting like there aren’t any threats at the moment. Clingy isn’t bad, he could be so so much worse. That’s what I got from what he said earlier at least. He seems happy for once; if that’s not the sweetest thing I’ve seen I would be lying. And he hasn’t heard me. Or didn’t listen. Great.

“So where would rings be found in here love?”

He’s serious about being my husband. He's serious about it enough to not listen to what I'm asking.

“Well, this is a general store, so nowhere in here. I mean there are a couple of places around here that sell them but you don’t need to sage. Besides I probably couldn’t afford one you like.”

“Let’s go there now then. It's far more important than any of this.”

What have I gotten into? He genuinely wants my hand in marriage. Was marriage in Hyrule always this casual? I mean I guess Hudson married his wife based on her name. Even then he still asked normally. He didn’t just announce they were married there and then!?

Nothing really to do but play the cards you’re dealt right? And I like sage, I do, so there’s no issue. I can be Sage’s spouse, I can do this. There's no small part I'm petrified of what would happen if I didn't accept him.

“Really it’s not sage, groceries and other supplies are far more important than a ring.”

“The groceries can wait, love. People need to know you’re mine. So dearest, can you please take me to a jeweller? Also, would it be too hard to ask you to call me by pet names from now on, my love?”

Sage won’t take no for an answer, will he? Even if I keep saying no he won't drop it, honestly I'm tempted to go and just take him to a cheaper store to pick something out and have it done with. Because I’ll be the one who has to buy it after all. That other thing he’s asked as well… Could I do that?Pet names weren’t the first thing on my mind, but we are a couple now, it’s only natural right? Has he noticed I’m blushing now? Could he be saying all this on purpose to rile me up? To manipulate me?No. He wouldn’t do that. Stop assuming the worst of people [name].

“Sure, honey??? You aren’t going to drop it until I agree. Are you?”

Sage has me wrapped around his finger at this point, I can’t say no to him, but only because he’s most likely stressed out of his mind right now. So I don’t have to feel bad. I'm caving so easily, I can do that without feeling bad… And if I’m his spouse now… Well it’s only natural that I look after him, isn’t it?

Local jewellers we go then, as he clings to me like I’m his only lifeline here… which I am if I really think about it. He knows nothing here, nothing. Our relationship, his memories, his features those are the only things he really has tying him back to his own world and one of those things shouldn’t really count. Holding Sage, well being held by him to look as if I’m holding him is nice. like when he was lying to me, He’s soft.And now he’s kissing my neck.

“Well then my beloved, I’m sorry I haven’t given you a ring sooner, I should have been more prepared when I told you so my love choose whatever you please.”

Wait, is he offering to pay? With what money, he doesn’t have anything here? Actually, now I think about that, opening a current account for him might not be a bad idea… oh but he’ll need an ID for that, does he even have a surname? Should he just use mine? Lying he lost his documents in a fire could work, we could file the other paperwork today…

I’ll just choose something cheap, is that..?

“This one, it’s one of my favourite stones. I never knew it was sold here. And it’s not too expensive either…”

“Oh my love, It’s even part of a matching pair. You have perfect taste.”

Sage’s confidence really has improved since he’s gotten here, after saying that he’s gone to talk to the salesperson all alone and handed him a single green rupee. I swear I’ve told him already that we don’t use rupees here let alone - they accepted it... AND THEY’RE OFFERING HIM CHANGE??

Standing there stunned until he came back over and slid the ring onto my finger with a kiss seems to be exactly the reaction he wanted though. Sticking himself back to my side and tugging the both of us back to the shops I originally wanted to go to, it almost feels like he wants my praise. Really even I can agree he deserves it after that stunt.

“That was, I mean where do I start Lavender, thank you really. How did you even know that would work?”

“Most places like that in my world trade with gems as well my love, Wind mentioned how you reacted the first time you saw a rupee so I assumed it would be the same here. Don’t you assume I wouldn’t have paid more either, I would happily burn the world down for you my sweet [name].”

“By the way Sage, about the fact you want to be my husband. There’s some paperwork to be done to make it official here, after we’ve finished here it would be a good idea to sort that all out.”

Sage’s face lighting up feels like it’s going to happen a lot more from this point on; hopefully, now that he’s got that to focus on I can finish shopping without any issues. After all of this, given there are no issues, Sage will be my husband.

And so now he is, after a couple of hours of lying and processing then lying and processing but now I won’t have to worry about being arrested so that’s one more thing taken care of. Sage couldn’t be more pleased to be my husband officially either which makes it more worth it in my eyes and…

Why is there a shadow in my window?

“You can see that as well can’t you, I’m not seeing things right?”

“Do you want me to deal with it darling~”

“No, let’s see what it is first. It could just be a friend of mine pulling a prank or something.”

Always like it was with any of the links back in Hyrule, Sage decided to go in first. Mumbling to himself about how he should be the only one to deal with any threats, taking his self-appointed role as my sole protector more seriously than anything else. Following behind him as he cracked opened the door to where the intruder was hiding is the first thing since leaving Hyrule to make me feel like I’m before some sort of threat.

“Well I will admit this is a rather strange situation, usually I don’t do at-home visits for my customers. It is somewhat comforting to see you though [name], Mr.hero’s been very worked up about you vanishing.”

That voice, that outfit, well I wasn’t wrong about the fact it could be a friend. What are the shadow’s plans? First sage and now him as well?

“R-Ravio!?”

#linked universe x reader #yandere linked universe x reader #yandere linked universe #link x reader #lu sage #yandere lu sage #househusband sage #moss✦writes

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aro-comics · 2 years

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Growth (Part 3)

Growth, 3/3 - And … with that, we finish off yet another series 🐸🐸 I hope y’all enjoyed the ride, I know it’s been a long wait for this, but I really wanted to take my time and craft this comic and what I had to say with it (and also take my time with these last few greenhouse scenes haha).

I don’t think the ways in which amatonormativity affects us has been explored as much, since our awareness of the topic is so new. Or at the very least, I haven’t seen much discussion and I feel like we’re all just taking stabs at it atm. So here’s my take, it’s something I’ve reflecting on for quite some time, and I hope you’ve found it interesting too.

Also, this is less relevant to aromanticism, but I wanted to sign off on this: I know growing up I really clung to the idea of finding the *right* relationship, romantic or not, to be this kind of … magical key, to fixing many of my personal problems. But as I’ve learned through my own experiences, sometimes all you really need is the time and space to rest, to recover, and the will to try again at the end of the day (or the next morning, or whenever your strength returns).

If love and relationships have been the key to your healing and growth – fantastic! I’m genuinely so happy for you, and I think that is beautiful. But to anyone that needs to hear it, you can be fine too without. Your growth can be something that you shape and lead, and for what it’s worth. I think you will find at the end of the day the path you carve for yourself will be beautiful in its own ways, too.

Image Description:

Slide 1: Celia shrugs “Overall, I think it’s just that society puts a lot of emphasis on celebrating growth in relation to romantic love.”

Slide 2: “It’s all too common for me to hear people talk about how someone became nicer after they’ve found “the one”, how much better they are with a lover than without”

A younger Celia is shown studying as she listens to her parents converse. They say:

“You remember [redacted]?”

“Yeah”

“Yeah, he finally got a girlfriend and its like he did a complete 180 as a person. He’s so much nicer and more patient now …”

Slide 3: Celia says “ – and as an aro, I just … wish that there was just as much focus, and celebration, for the ways people grow in the absence of romance, or any kind of relationship.”

Slide 4: “Because that family friend was wrong.”

Slide 5: “I did grow, past the lack of confidence and the so-called shyness, all of these traits that supposedly I would have gotten as a part of falling in love.”

A pot of ferns is drawn growing, unfurling, reaching towards the top of the panel.

Slide 6: “I became strong, confident. More patient and kind and understanding than I had ever been, all of these traits that supposedly would have been the rewards of love,”

Celia sits in her gardening attire. From her hand floats a fern unfurling, with sparkles in the background.

Slide 7: “Except I didn’t fall in love. I wasn’t motivated by any person, romantically or platonically or otherwise. And as much as I wish it was because I embraced self-love … it actually wasn’t either.

I grew because I had finally been given enough space to heal from what had been hurting me back then. And because I wanted to.”

Slide 8: “People love to say that everyone eventually blooms in the presence of “true love”, but I’ve always disagreed. Celia is illustrated talking to a blank person, from which a speech bubble shows a flowering plant. Celia says “I don’t agree”.

Slide 9: Back in the greenhouse, Celia is shown watering plants as the sun shines behind her. “In nature, not every plant flowers.”

Slide 10: “And those plants are no less beautiful for it.”

Shot pans out into the wider greenhouse, an array of nonflowering plants depicted around Celia as she stands with her watering can. The afternoon sun pours into the building, illuminating her and her surroundings.

#regularcomic #GrowthComic

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nayatarot777 · 11 months

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what conditionings are you stripping away?

so, i live in england and a thunderstorm is currently happening as i’m typing this up. i decided to look up what thunderstorms mean metaphysically (because we’ve gotten yellow alerts and amber alerts for this storm and we hardly ever get thunderstorms so i felt like it must be significant). y’all, tell me why this is what i’ve found:

“Thunderstorms are seen as powerful and intense events, and they can symbolize an awakening in the spiritual sense.

The sudden noise of thunder can shake us out of our complacency and remind us to pay attention to what is happening around us. This awakening can prompt us to listen to our inner voice and intuition, and encourage us to make changes in our lives.

The rain that often accompanies thunderstorms is a powerful symbol of cleansing and purification. The rain washes away dirt and debris, leaving the earth feeling refreshed and renewed. In the spiritual realm, the rain can represent the release of old patterns and negative energy, allowing for a new beginning.”

very fitting for this reading 🙃

pile selection:

• pile one •

cards: ace of swords, knight of cups, the tower

i’m seeing that you’ve realised a very self-destructive pattern in who you give your love and care to. you might’ve tried to save people from their own demise and their continuous tower moments, but you’re learning to move with consciousness when dealing with others and contemplate whether or not it’s a wise idea to try to “help” people - “help” that is often coming from a saviour complex that you’ve had for a while. it’s coming from a good place, but you’re now understanding that sometimes you just need to leave people tf alone to their own bs and misery. it doesn’t have to be your problem to fix and they don’t have to be your person to try to guide out of misery that they’re extremely deep (and comfortable) in. period 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

• pile two •

cards: page of cups, the hierophant, king of cups

you’re stripping away the conditionings of authority figures and their traditional values and opinions being forced onto you. you’re learning to find your own belief system based on what feels right - not what you’ve been told - and that’s helping you to become someone who is entirely lead by your own intuition (which is something that you may have struggled with before). you’re able to find out surprising things about yourself and what your true beliefs are. i’m also hearing that your beliefs surrounding “good luck” is changing a lot. you’re definitely finding out what it’s like to be lead by faith in your own personal belief in a higher power/higher self. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

• pile three •

cards: page of pentacles, queen of pentacles, 2 of swords

you’re stripping away the habit of downplaying your accomplishments and what you’ve built. you could’ve denied abundance in some way - or at least in terms of recognising some type of abundance that you have, either physically or metaphysically. however, i feel like you’re now standing firm in your acknowledgement of how valuable you and what you’ve developed in your life actually is. i’m also hearing that you’re no longer doubting yourself in terms of being able to maintain or practically manage something. you know that you can, and that you have so much to attract and so much to learn from other people. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

• pile four •

cards: knight of wands, the devil, king of swords

you guys are finally learning how to observe and rationalise taking action before actually making a move. you could’ve been quite impulsive in the past, leading you to interest in things, places, and people that you grew dependent on. i’m also hearing that a lot of you have finally realised that you don’t actually need someone/something who you thought that you did before. someone who tried to prevent you from finding your freedom - especially in your opinions and your way of thinking. you’re undoing the conditioning that you should run away from and shame your shadow, because you’re realising that your shadow is who will give you the truth and the best guidance to follow - not your ego that’s comfortable in the same toxic and draining life cycles. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

#psychic readings #tarot reading #pick a card #pac #pick a photo #divination #tarot #pick a picture #pac reading #spirituality #intuitive #daily tarot #free tarot

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writersblog20 · 2 years

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The dream

Chris Evans x reader

Summary: When you get the chance to make your dream come true, you take it. But you didn’t think it would scare you this much and how stressed it would make you. But Chris has a couple of ideas up his sleeve

Warnings: Overstressed, anxiety, panic, mention of a panic attack, nightmares, SoftChris, Passionate and loving sex, eating you out, giving you the lead in sex, him asking you what you need and want, fingering, eating you out, Soft smut, neediness for each other, jerking off, p in v, no condom, creampie, cockwarming

Words:5K

A/N: So this is very personal as in problematic wise. I’m waiting for a go from the designer so I can continue and I never thought that it gave me this much anxiety, panic and nightmares. I’ve been waiting for two weeks and the deadline is coming closer, making me think irrational. Besides, I still need to make 200 slides….. yeah I’m already overstressed and I just need Chris to help me through this but this is the closest I can get.

The dream

Your dream was finally coming true and you did it all on your own. You were going to make the graphics for a big festival and would also be the photographer. Or at least, you could count on it but it still had to be completely arranged and it gave you anxiety. You rather would have it in black and white. You had a pitch where you would show your work that you made for the festival and they loved it. But there was only one graphic designer in the team and he had to give you a go in order for you to continue or not so the days following are absolute hell.

This was your dream and it got right into your lap so you wouldn’t let it go for the life of you. Unfortunately the anxiety rose with each passing day and Chris, your boyfriend, noticed. He took you along to his premiers that were going on right now with like Lightyear, The Gray man etc etc. Chris noticed that with each passing day you grew more nervous and anxious.

Today was a very hot day and you finally threw a mail out for the people in the team to get you an answer from the designer but they were all very busy, which you did understand but it just didn’t help with the growing anxiety that you couldn’t control anymore.

You were behind your computer and also send a text message out so you would be sure they would see the mail. Your leg was bouncing while you stared at your empty inbox. The worst part was that all of this triggered your depression as well. Chris was in the kitchen, making coffee when he heard nothing except the tapping of your heel on the ground. He looked at you and sight. He knew how much this meant to you and you would do everything for this. Like this really was a start of your dream and you were so incredibly close that it scared the absolute life out of you.

You didn’t tell Chris how bad it really was but he could guess. He just never thought it would be this bad since you were an expert in hiding. Chris walked over to you and placed his hands on either side of the armchair, placing a kiss on the top of your head. “Hey sweetheart. How you’re holding up?” He asked you as he turned your chair around and got on his knees so he would be on eye sight. His head resting on his arms which were resting on your knees.

You shrugged and let out a shaky breath. He placed a piece of hair behind your ear and softly brushed your cheek with his knuckles. “The same only it’s getting worse by the day.” He nodded, listening to you. “It’s a warm day…. Why don’t we go to the beach today? It’s no use of staying behind this laptop honey.” You let out a sigh and refreshed your inbox to be met by absolutely nothing. “What if he doesn’t like my work Chris? What if he doesn’t want me to finish it or make me start all over again? The deadline is only 2 months away and I have to make at least 200 slides.” Chris shushed you, noticing your demeanor changed and your breathing becoming rapidly.

He held your cheeks softly with his palms. “Slow down baby girl. I’ve seen your work and it’s amazing. They wouldn’t make you all of this if they didn’t want you.” he tried to remind you. “But they only got me because one of the team member knows me personally.” You rubbed your temples in distress. Chris took your hand away, stopping you. “Sweetheart, listen to me. They saw your work and if you weren’t good enough they wouldn’t have made you continue. It’s all in your head and it’s completely understandable that you’re stressed out but you need this energy for later.”

“Let me call Scott and ask him if he wants to join us. You need some distractions. Trust me sweetheart, this’ll do you good. Maybe some friends can join us too?” he proposed and you knew he was right but you were closer to tears than smiling at the moment, not feeling very social. “It’s been three weeks Chris….” You reminded him. “I’ve been waiting for three weeks and I can’t contain my anxiety anymore.” Your eyes filled up with tears from the absolute sheer panic you were in. You were keeping it all in and it felt like you were about to burst in a form of a panic attack.

“Let me take care of you sweetheart. You’ve always taken care of me when I have anxiety. Now it’s my turn.” He said softly as he caressed your legs. You sighed and looked back at your laptop. “I don’t feel very social today. Let’s just ask Scott and his boyfriend but no friends. I can’t really deal with that right now.” You told him honestly. “That’s okay sweetheart. Why don’t you make some fruit ready and I’ll call Scott?” he was so gentle with you right now since you couldn’t do that for yourself. You’ve been beating yourself up over this for three weeks straight now.

You nodded and Chris helped you up, pulling you into a hug as he held you tightly. “It’s going to be fine sweetheart, I promise you.” You hid your face in the crook of his neck, taking in a deep breath while Chris’s cologne calmed you down slightly. He placed his hand on the back of your head, trying to make you feel as safe and protected as possible.

He waited until you got out of the hug, giving you as much time as you needed while placing kisses on the side of your head until you got out of the hug. “And if this doesn’t work, I’ve got more ideas to how I can destress you….” he told you with a smirk and winked at you. You rolled your eyes and giggled. “You see! It does work, you’re smiling again.” You shook your head and made your way to the kitchen to cut up the watermelon.

Chris called Scotty while you got all kinds of fruit. You loved Scott to bits. His positivity was intoxicating and that’s exactly what you were needing right now. All of this had a pretty big effect on your life and love life. You and Chris haven’t done anything in the last three weeks and even though Chris gave you all the time you needed, you knew he was a little touched starved just like you. All of a sudden you felt a pair of arms around your waist and Chris let his head rest on your shoulder as his body was pressed up against yours.

“Scott and Steve will be here in an hour.” Chris told you, kissing your cheek. You nodded and fed him a strawberry you were cutting up. “I’ll get a cooler for the drinks and stuff.” He told you and kissed your neck. He made you turn around by your waist. He had a mischievous smile and pulled you in for a kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer. He picked you up and placed you on the counter without breaking the kiss. You pulled away and went with your hands through his fluffy hair while he stood in between your legs. “I love you.” you told him, caressing his cheek this time, his stubbles tickling the palm of your hand. “And I love you sweetheart.” His smile big and bright, which you mirrored.

“Now get your pretty ass upstairs and get changed.” He told you, helping you off the counter, placing a quick kiss on your lips and smacked your ass softly and playfully. You turned around with a smile while he watched you walk away. You got everything you needed just like Chris. Scott was one minute away and you quickly looked into your inbox again. “No…..” Chris said and wrapped his arms around your waist, trying to pull you away from your laptop. “Chrihiss….. just let me take a look” You whined and almost fought Chris to see your inbox. He let out a loud sigh and let go of you. Obviously there was nothing there and when you turned around towards Chris he had his hand on his side with his eyebrow up. “Sorry….” You told him and he walked towards you. “Today is for relaxation sweetheart. Now let’s go.” He told you and kissed you before carrying the cooler and bag.

Just in time, Scott honked the car. “There they are!!!” Scott yelled with a smile, making you smile as well. You jumped in the back and hugged Scott and Steve. “How are you? Heard you were pretty stressed out so we’re going to make you relaxed by the end of the day.” You smiled “Thanks Scotty.” Chris jumped in besides you and pulled your legs over his, his warm, big hand on your knee.

It didn’t took long before you arrived at the beach while Scott talked with you about the new true crime docu he had seen. It took a minute to get your thoughts off the festival but in the end it did work, getting you in a way better mood. You searched a quiet spot to lay and when you found it, you all unpacked. Chris put some sunscreen on your back and you on his. Just by seeing him without a shirt on, made the butterflies go loose in the pit of your stomach. It’s been a while when you saw him without a shirt and he was ripped in a way you didn’t remember he was while the tattoos showed off.

Scott brought a ball with him for in the water while you turned up the music a little. Scott and Steve already jumped in the water, jumping on each other’s back. Chris turned to you and checked you out with a smirk, making you feel shy again. “What?” you asked with a shy smile playing upon your lips. He shrugged a little “You just look good, that’s all.” he told you and kissed your shoulder, meeting your eyes above his sunglasses. You felt your cheeks getting heated, chuckled and looked away. “What? I can’t compliment my favorite girl right now?” he knew damn well what he was doing to you.

He got your arm and gently rubbed it. He knew exactly how to make you feel heated, shy and most importantly, made you feel like the only woman on earth. “hmh… Smooth Christopher… smooth.” You told him and stood up, reaching out your hand for him to take. He chuckled at your response and took your hand in his and got up. He stood very close to you and was taller than you were, making you feel a bit small and intimidated. Damn this man knew exactly what to do and what he did now, made you feel submissive. Chris looked down at you with a smirk. You rolled your eyes slightly, not wanting to give in now just on principles and pushed him playfully away.

“What?” Chris chuckled and if you could roll your eyes even further, you would, making Chris chuckle even more. “Let’s just go, you tease.” Your remark made him laugh wholeheartedly and you knew that this was the vibe he was going with today. He took your hand and placed a delicate kiss on it, smiling at you. You turned towards him, standing close to him as well. This time it took him by surprise at the close proximity you were standing and got his sunglasses of his face. “Don’t wanna loose them now do we?” you chuckled at your win this time and placed it on the towel. Now it was your turn to wrap him around your finger.

You took his hand in yours and walked into the water, paddling your feet in the refreshing water. Chris looked at you with a loving smile and placed his arm around you, pulling you against the side of his body and kissed the top of your head. He could see you were thinking about it again and whispered in your ear “It’s all going to be okay sweetheart. Trust yourself.” He took the lead, still holding your hand in his when he turned around looking at you if you were ready to go further into the water.

You walked slowly his way. The water wasn’t cold, more refreshing than anything else but you still needed to get used to it. Every time you took a step forward, Chris took a step backward to help you. It wasn’t like you really needed help, but you loved the fact that he was doing it either way, always so caring and it made your heart flutter. You looked at Chris, the sun kissing his skin while his fluffy hair shined in the sun and it was like falling in love with him all over again.

You smiled and got his hand, pulling him closer. It surprised Chris for a minute until you wrapped your arms around his torso, your head resting against his chest. It took him a moment but wrapped his arms around you as well, pulling you closer and you could hear the rumble of his chuckles. He went with his hand over your hair. “What’s this for sweetheart?” he asked you softly and caringly. “I just love you so much.” His heart started to melt when you said that and how you wrapped yourself around him. The need to protect you from anything and everything got even bigger by the second. He would do anything for you without thinking twice about it.

“You have no idea how much I love you too baby girl” he told you, kissing your head. His hands cupped your cheek as he gave you a chaste kiss. Without warning, you both got splashed by Scott and Steven, making you both gasp at the sudden coldness.

It turned out in a water fight until you were all soaked. You hanged around Chris like a koala in the water until you got out. Chris was right, this did do you a lot of good but once you returned home, you were confronted again.

You wanted to put your computer on when Chris placed his hand above yours, making you look at him. He shook his head lovingly, making you think twice about it. You looked back at your computer and got your hand away, listening to Chris.

“Let’s take a shower together hmh?” he asked you and you nodded. The entire time on the beach you were very clingy which you weren’t a lot so Chris knew he had to be very soft and gentle with you. Chris didn’t see this side of you a lot but when you did show it, he loved every given moment of it and it felt like his heart would burst with the love he had for you. Besides, he knew that the moment you got clingy, you gave your consent for him to take completely care of you.

He helped you get upstairs and into the bathroom. You were glad that you changed the sheets of the bed this morning so you could get into a clean bed later. You and Chris got undressed and Chris gave you a hand, helping you get into the shower with him. He got your favorite bath foam and softly rubbed it onto your body. He pulled you into a hug, when he saw that the stress exhausted you and it showed now since you were relaxed. “It’s okay baby. you’re going to be completely fine. I’m here with every step and you’re doing such a good job. I couldn’t be more proud of you for following your dreams even though I know how scary it can be.” You tightened your arms more around him while he comforted you.

When you got out and Chris obviously helped you out, he dried you off with a soft towel, put your underwear on and placed you on the counter. “Which lotion you want baby?” he asked you looking around. “My favorite.” You told him tiredly and he immediately got your favorite lotion, rubbing it gently in before putting your favorite shirt of him on and helped you off the bathroom counter.

He quickly put some short sweats on himself and a shirt. You both walked downstairs and he got on the couch, pulling you onto his lap sideways and gave you the tv remote. You watched a tv series and cuddled closer to Chris. He played with your hair, calming you and relaxing you even more. You let your head rest on his chest, underneath his chin. You couldn’t fight your heavy eyelids anymore and closed them, feeling utterly and completely safe in Chris’s arms.

You were almost drifting off until you felt Chris shift underneath you. You flutter you eyes open and looked at Chris who smiled lovingly at you. “Let’s get you upstairs sweetheart.” He told you and you noticed that the tv was already off. You nodded and got out of his lap. Chris still held onto you in case you might fall since you were very drowsy. You brushed your teeth freshened up a little before falling into the clean sheets.

It was cool in the room, giving you both some release from the almost unbearable heat. Chris got in next to you and scooped you closer, placing an arm underneath your head so you could rest your head on his chest. Your legs over him and it didn’t took you long before falling asleep.

You had a very vivid nightmare about the festival. It seemed so incredibly real that you actually thought that it happened. You slowly got up, rubbing your face and looked at Chris who was in a very peaceful and deep sleep. You had dreamt that the designer didn’t want you and hated you for no reason at all, saying that you were unprofessional and childish. It felt so real that you couldn’t snap out of it and had to check if it really happened or not.

You got out of bed trying to be as quiet as possible and made your way downstairs, not even bothering with the lights. The tears slipped down your cheek as you felt a fearful weight on your heart, hoping that it was in fact a nightmare. The panic rose when you saw your computer which you quickly turned on and sat down in the chair. You opened your mail and searched through it with a heavy heart, not even able to stop crying at this point. You were so caught up that you didn’t even hear Chris walking downstairs.

He found you behind your computer and his heart sank. You rested your head on your arms as you tried to hold your sobs in. He sighted softly out of sympathy and walked towards you. He didn’t want to unsettle you so he softly rubbed your arms, making you look up. He saw that your eyes were bloodshot red and sympathy was written all over his face.

He kneeled down in front of you and you broke down completely. He shushed you. “It’s going to be alright sweetheart. It was a nightmare wasn’t it?” he asked you and you nodded, unable to contain the sobs coming from you as you shook in his arms. You were both on the ground now and Chris held you tightly when you crawled into his lap, your legs wrapped around him. “He said that I was too childish, unprofessional and hated me for no reason. It felt so real Chris. I thought it really happened. I had to check.” You told him between sobs, feeling utterly exhausted from this whole experience.

“I know honey, it’s okay. It’s not real and I’m 100% sure he wouldn’t say that. You are too good in what you do and trust me when I say that you are very professional. I’ve seen it myself. It’s your fears projecting right now. It’s not going to happen in real life.” He told you softly, trying to help you rationalize. “I know… I’m just exhausted from the waiting and containing the panic and anxiety. With every passing day, it’s getting harder. I don’t know how long I’m going to be able to do this.”

Chris cupped your cheeks softly. “You’re the most strongest woman I’ve ever seen. You’re going to get through this and you’re going to rock it.” he kissed you softly and wiped away your tears. “I’ll be here with you remember? And it was all just a nightmare.” He reminded you and you took a deep shaky breath. He smiled softly at you and kissed your nose. “You want to stay downstairs and watch something or do you want to get upstairs again? I might be able to take some stress away.” he told you the last part teasingly again, making you chuckle through your tears. He smiled the moment he saw you smile again.

You were actually considering it though, at this point wanting to try anything to take the stress away. “Let’s go upstairs.” But you didn’t responded to the last sentence. He helped you up and held your hand while walking upstairs. You looked at your side of the bed and shivered from the thought of the nightmare. Chris looked at you concerned. “It’s going to be okay, I’m here.” He whispered in your ear, raising goosebumps over your body.

You sat down on the bed and rubbed your face. Chris took your hands away and kissed them before slowly and gently kissing your cheeks, your nose, forehead and lastly your lips. He saw the consideration in your eyes. “Just relax baby girl, let me make you feel good.” He told you and kissed your neck gently. You felt the heat spread down, noticing how needy and starved you actually were.

He took his shirt off of you and his own, his hands going over your body before making you lay down back on the bed. “Just relax.” He told you softly once again. His lips trailing down from your neck to your chest towards your breast. Your felt your breath hitch a little and got even wetter by his soft and gentle touch.

His mouth and tongue played with your nipple. He trailed down your stomach, his fingertips caressing your thighs, getting you even more in the mood. He left wet kisses behind, his blue eyes piercing yours with love in them. Not like he would do normally, the dominant side staying put right now and showed you all the love he could. He kissed your thighs lovingly while his big hands gently rubbed them. You felt the heat pulsating and couldn’t wait for his mouth to get attached.

He grinded on the side of the bed with his cock for some release himself. His finger went over your wet slit and carefully put a finger in your pussy, curling it inside, making you moan and more wetter. His mouth got attached to your clit and he hummed from pleasure himself. He pumped his finger in and out of you while his mouth was doing some magic itself. You felt yourself grow closer. It was almost embarrassing how fast you could cum right now but didn’t care that much.

His tongue circled your clit while his finger thrusted in you. You saw his bicep flexing because of it and the man was a whole painting on it’s own right now. You buckled your hips slightly and Chris let you right now. You squeezed around his fingers. “You’re close aren’t you baby?” his voice still loving instead of dark which you expected, but to be fair, you needed someone who was soft right now and Chris got that hint a week ago. Just waited for you to let him in your bubble and accept his gentleness.

“Yeah I am.” You murmured out. The sounds your pussy made while Chris was eating you out, made you even hornier. “You cum when you’re ready pretty girl.” Your fingers clenched into the sheets as you arched your back. One hand found his way into his hair, tucking it a bit, making him moan in the process. “I’m gonna cum.” You told him and he fastened his pace, making you shiver and shake in no time.

He got his fingers out of you while you tried to regain your breathing again. Chris looked at you and placed wet kissed over your stomach, towards your chest, neck and after your lips, kissing you passionately. You could taste yourself on his tongue and you arched your back again so your body could meet his, your leg going over his hard cock in his boxers. You pulled him down in the kiss, his body laying on top of you now. “What do you want baby?” he asked you genuinely, letting you take the lead for the first time and it made you a bit nervous. “Can you make me cum again?” Chris smiled lovingly at you and nodded, placing soft kisses on your lips. “Want me to do it like I just did?” he asked you, helping you out as he noticed your nervousness.

You nodded shyly and a bit embarrassed. He smiled and gave you a last kiss before laying on his back. “climb on baby girl.” He told you and you were quick on your feet, crawling over him. He helped you to get up, you were always nervous that you would hurt him so he had to help you in this one. He held onto your thighs and pulled you down on his face. You almost collapsed at the spot while he hummed again and looked at you to see how you were doing.

He ate you out like a starved man. Not going to lie, he probably was and you started to shake above him. His finger entering you, curling it inside, hitting the perfect spot as you cried out. “Cum for me sweetheart.” He told you between eating you out. You got a little off his face as you shook violently above him but he pulled you down again, not done with you yet and kept eating you throughout your orgasm.

Soft licks were giving as he lapped you up. He helped you get off and laid on his side towards you, placing a piece of hair away from your sticky forehead. He kept going over your hair with his hand, waiting for you to catch your breath. You turned your head to look at him. He smiled lovingly at you and even though you loved dominant Chris, you couldn’t help but love this side of him just as much. “How your feeling?” he asked you and you smiled a bit, getting closer to him to kiss him.

He got you into a passionate kiss and he slowly got on top of you. One hand entangled in his hair, just like he did with you and the other massaged his cock through his boxers. He gasped out a little as you freed his cock and gently jerked him off. He sighed in the kiss and you noticed he was just as needy for you as you were for him. You placed his cock by your entrance, slowly going over your slit and covered his cock with your cum before slowly pushing the tip in, both gasping at the familiar feeling of each other.

“I’ve missed you so much.” He told you, almost whiningly. “I’ve missed you too.” You moaned out as he pushed his hips more forward, going deeper in you. “Stay in me tonight. I need you close.” You told him, feeling even more needy for him and just his physical touch. “I know baby, I know, I need you too.” He kissed you below your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

You put your legs around him and pushed him in deeper. Chris started moving slowly while you both moaned out. You haven’t heard Chris this vocal before. I mean, he is very vocal in bed but this just took the price. He slowly started thrusting into you, hitting your g-spot every time he got into you. You attached your lips to his neck before needlingly pulling him into a deep kiss. His arms were tightly wrapped around you, holding you just as close. “I’m not going to last long tonight sweetheart.” He warned you. “That’s okay. I just need you close.” He moaned at your response while he felt needed and important, which he obviously was.

“I’m gonna cum again.” You told him almost completely hidden underneath him. “that’s okay, cum for me princess, cum for me.” he motivated you. You started to clench around his cock and he moaned out loudly in response. “Cum with me Chris, cum inside of me.” His whole body tensed up when you asked him to cum together and he almost lost all of his strength in his body. He hid his face in the crook of his neck while your hands caressed his back, pulling him more down.

You came hard and clenched so hard on his cock that you started to milk him out entirely. Chris was moaning in your ear and you could feel his heart thundering against yours. You both tried to catch your breath and you felt his cum seeping out of you. You felt so complete right now and relaxed. You chuckled “You were right, this does help with the stress.” He chuckled as well, meeting your gaze and cupped your cheek. “I like this side of you.” you confessed softly. He smiled lovingly at you. “I like this side too.” He told you, kissing you softly, still a bit out of breath.

“You still want me to stay inside of you tonight sweetheart?” he asked you, softly rubbing your cheek with his thumb, now laying more to the side. You nodded “Yeah I need you close.” He smiled and kissed the top of your nose. He laid more to the side, his ;leg over you this time, one arm underneath his head and the other resting on your side, both just staring at each other.

It was going to be a long, exhausting and stressful road but maybe you finally found your way of destressing.

Taglist: @patzammit @rogersdrysdalebarber @justile @babyevansblog @hazelqueenland @littlebluecupcake

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prodigal-explorer · 6 months

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specific things i’ve seen tss fans do that make me hate this fandom:

(disclaimer: a lot of this fandom is great but oh my lord i just have to show some of y’all how your behavior affects others because it’s atrocious)

please read this guys because chances are you or someone you know has done at least one of these things because they’re so rampant in this fandom it’s crazy-

1. sending death threats and calling somebody a “boot licker” and a “d-rider” for defending thomas’ silence about the war. like he shouldn’t be saying anything about the war unless he knows enough to have authority on it??? he’s a privileged white man who lives in a place where the war is not taking place. what productive thing would he be able to say about the war?? leave the man alone, he’s not a politician or a military general. if he did say something, it would probably be misinformation. stop acting like you’re some saint because you’re using bullying tactics to make yourself feel more woke.

2. writing aggressive posts about stuff thomas does that is not an issue. what i mean is that he does deserve to be called out if he fucks up (like the whole thing with underpaying his employees), but i saw a post where someone was using super aggressive language because thomas said he was “being delusional” in a short and someone was on their high horse about how thomas was “being insensitive to people who have mental disorders that involve delusions.” like…please go outside. anyone can have a delusion. and if thomas does make a REAL mistake that actually matters, there are better ways to go about it than spewing hate and name calling. he tries very hard and actively patches up mistakes as well as he can, which is more than what can be said about most cis white male celebrities.

3. blatant racism. i’ve been told by white people that my views on poc headcanons are wrong. like i’m a poc??? i would know more than you??? and i try to be nice about it?? so don’t attack me for saying that there’s nothing wrong with race headcanons as long as they’re done in a respectful way? or that just because roman speaks spanish one time doesn’t automatically make him latino and that’s actually a pretty racist assumption? just trust poc fanders. WE KNOW WHAT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT BECAUSE WE EXPERIENCE RACISM ON A DAILY BASIS. white people will never know what it’s like. so stop acting like it. that’s a huge issue in this fandom.

4. a LOT of aphobia. there’s this concept going around that’s like “oh the sides could be ace because they’re not human so they don’t get romance!” like…babes let’s step back and look that over…cuz ace people aren’t ace because they don’t “understand” sex. that’s infantilizing and dehumanizing. it’s possible to be ace just because you don’t want sex in a conventional way. the sides are not a vessel for your aphobia.

5. SO MUCH RUDENESS WHEN IT COMES TO CHARACTER CRITICISM. the amount of death threats i’ve gotten just because i hate patton??? like PLEASE. i’m allowed to hate a character!! i have trauma and patton reminds me of horrible people in my life who did horrible things to me! he’s like a carbon copy of them in my mind! and even if i didn’t have trauma, it would still be valid because patton is a flawed character! there is nothing bad or wrong about dissecting a character’s unkind actions??? that’s just basic analysis. like i ADORE roman and you don’t see me wishing death upon people who don’t like him??? i just block and move on or i hear them out!! because discussion about the flaws of a character you like isn’t a personal attack!!! people NEED to get that in their heads cuz it’s so frustrating when people take it so personally and actively seek it out just to get mad at it.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #tss #roman sanders #sanders sides fandom #virgil sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #sanders sides critical #sanders sides criticism #tss crit #tss critical

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kz-i-co · 1 year

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Don’t Fall In Love: Part 2

Summary: You are one of the most popular bloggers on your campus, telling enriching stories of your personal heartbreaks anonymously. But your readers are not ready to handle the newest heartbreak of finding out your best friend dating your ex.

Pairing: Lee Haechan (Donghyuk) x f!reader

Genre: college au | angst (eventual fluff x smutt)

Warnings: story may contain strong language, mentions of drugs and alcohol - sexual references - reader discretion advise.

Words: 4.6k

Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Masterlist | Nct 127 Masterlist | Nct Dream Masterlist

Taglist: @lovingvoidgoatee, @lunaryoongie, @matchahyuck, @yixingtion, @mosviqu, @ohmyhuenings, @nctzennikki09

::: LoveAboveMyPinkClouds: blog post #51 Please understand that my short hiatus was necessary as I can firmly say....I'm going through hell. And those of you still accusing me for bullshitting fake news....then shame on you - but also honored you think my creativity is this impressive, thanks I guess. I will gladly get to your questions as my DM box is officially full - also thanks again....I guess - but please let me vent on my own because this is all too real and once again....NOT okay with it. I never seen this coming. It's bad enough I had to confront my oh so famous ex on the matter and thought I was crazy to split up his new found relationship. The jerk didn't take it well since he brought up my relationship with J - his best friend. Oops did I forget to mention that? Call me slut or hypocrite - what ever floats your boat but I as well was under a lack of information and I would take it back if I could. I have more regrets than I would like to admit and people reading who are close to me will probably connect the dots eventually and my identity will soon be blown but as of right now I'm venting and this is the only place I can comfortably do it. I will get to my session on D soon but right now I'm pissed and rather not talk about it. Thanks for being here anyway. Xoxo peace :::

"(Y/N), help me hang this." Minjeong asked letting one side of the banner dangle. It's been a few days since you've found out about Donghyuck and Minjeong and you still couldn't deal with it, but at least you played nice.

"Why are we doing this?" You sounded uninterested.

"Jimin's birthday." She sounded offended.

"I know that.....she said not to make a big deal out of it." You shrugged taping the other side.

"That's the best part." She smiled once again. "You okay? You seem down lately."

"I'm just drowning in school work, exhausted." You lied.

"You need more sleep and to stop partying."

"I've only been to two this week." You made your way to the kitchen and pulled out a can of soda.

"And stripped in front of the whole fraternity." She giggled. "And can't forget trashing your ex's."

"Must we keep talking about this? I was drunk and stupid and I said I was sorry."

"Alright." She began, following you. "Actually....can I ask you for dating advice?" She said, changing the subject.

"Trouble with catfish already?" You tried not to smile.

"It's not that....and stop calling him that." She smiled sarcastically. "How long did you date Jaemin until you guys started.....you know, sleeping together."

You didn't lie that the question alone caused your stomach to sink. "Well, first of all, he was a fuck buddy so the first date technically."

"Well then, your other ex...."

You sighed avoiding her question. "Min, you just started dating this guy and you want him to fuck you already." Your eyebrows furrowed.

You can tell she was uncomfortable. "I'm just getting impatient and I thought guys in college dived right into that stuff."

"I mean you ain't wrong. College guys are horn dogs." You giggled. "But I don't know, maybe he's a gentleman."

You chuckled to yourself because you knew that was the farthest from the truth. Donghyuck was no gentleman, at least not anymore....or maybe this was somehow an act to look innocent to get girl to fall for boy faster - what an evil genius.

"So am I wrong to worry? All we've done is kiss and hold hands. I want more." She sounded defeated and you as her best friend would feel bad and want this douche to pay but this was Donghyuck we're talking about, you didn't want happiness for him. Cruel yes but maybe he deserved it.

"Break up with him." You said nonchalantly.

"Not this again (Y/N). You act like you don't like him but you met him once, can't you try a little harder."

You heard a knock on the door ending your conversation thankfully. "I hope that's not Riri, I told her to distract Jimin, we're not done." She panicked as she opened the door.

"Speak of the devil." She squealed hugging the person on the other side and of course it had to be none other than your ex himself. "You came early to help?"

"Of course." He spoke and you couldn't help but laugh to yourself in the kitchen. His tone sounding unfamiliar.

"(Y/N) be nice." She warned as she passed you in the kitchen. "I have some balloons here that need to be filled up and I still have the punch that needs to be made and oh the snacks."

You and Donghyuck both shook your head at Minjeong's pacing as she needed everything to be perfect.

"I'll stay here with the snacks." You offered, already grabbing the bowls from the cabinets.

"Okay great. I'll blow up balloons." She grabbed the bag. "Oh shit, I left the cake in the car." She panicked and made her way to the door. "Channie, can you make the punch, you do it the best."

"A-huh." He nodded feeling overwhelmed and as soon as she left he sighed.

"Channie." You mocked as soon as he made his way over. "I love you Channie....you're so cute Channie."

"Please shut up." He grabbed the bowl, not caring he basically pushed you out of the way.

"What's wrong, no love in paradise?" You teased.

He just glared at you as you continued your fun. "I'm surprised you haven't told her yet....seems unlike you."

"Like I said, you tend to ruin relationships all on your own." You shrugged pouring the chips in the bowl.

"Yep, that was all me." He said sarcastically.

"I'm surprised you haven't slept with her yet, come on Hyukie, you're better than that.....have you lost your touch?"

"How do you even know what we've done."

"Did you forget Minjeong is my best friend? She tells me things....and she is upset."

"Upset huh?" He turned towards you with a smirk. "She really wants me that bad?.....I was waiting for her to beg.....virgin's especially can't wait long enough."

"You're sick. Maybe she's just desperate."

"You let me know when you hear next door." He remarked as Minjeong opened the door cutting off your conversation.

You crumbled the rest of the chip bag and threw it aggressively in the trash.

"Cakes fine." She smiled and sensed the awkward tension. "How's the snacks coming."

"Everything is dandy." You smiled and Donghyuck nodded and continued his punch.

You grabbed the completed bowls and made your way to the living room to place on the coffee table. You really tried not to show your disturbed emotion as you turned to grab more bowls seeing the two embraced in a sweet kiss and giggling together.

It hurt....it hurt because that was you once.

"Um....can I add liquor to this?" Donghyuck was quick to pull away, wiping off his smile as he saw you grabbing another bowl close by.

"This isn't that kind of party." Minjeong giggled.

"Not a lot, just enough to take off some edge." You knew he met you but you didn't turn around to show you were listening. You were done listening.

"Half a bottle." She said and made her way to the living room blowing up balloons.

Then you finally looked back as he gave you a rueful smile and then suddenly emptying the whole bottle causing you to softly giggle. Not a party if Donghyuck isn't spiking the punch, typical.

....

"Guys, they're gonna be here any minute." Minjeong announced as the talking started to die down.

"Isn't that your ex?" Yetak spoke next to you as Donghyuck was practically hiding in the kitchen, engaged in a conversation with Mark and Renjun. You could tell he was anxious to even be in this situation that you so happened to make worse by lying to everyone.

"Nope, they just look alike." She looked at you puzzled and then back at him. "I'll explain later but for now just pretend you don't know him okay?"

"Shhhh....she's coming." Minjeong had everyone quiet and as as the door opened....

"Surprise!" Everyone cheered as soon as Jimin and Riri walked through the door. You didn't invite a lot of people to your apartment, just some close friends and of course Minjeong allowed Donghyuck to invite some of his friends and bless your soul Jeno and Jaemin decided not to come saving you a night of disaster.

"Oh wow....thank you everyone." She smiled and leaned next to Minjeong. "I said no party."

"It's not a party....it's a gathering." She smiled cutely.

"It's a party." She smiled but you could sense the anxiety in her.

"It's not even big enough to be a party.....I only invited a few people." She remarked. "We have drinks and food....just a hang out - you only turn 23 once."

She nodded looking at you for help. "If you're really concerned Channie made some special punch if you need to relax."

"Or Mark bought some drinks, since we're all adults." He spoke up and Jimin locked eyes with him and immediately looked to you causing you to shake your head.

"Some of us." You smirked trying to get rid of any suspicion.

"Oh Jimin.....I didn't introduce you yet." Minjeong dragged him closer and he couldn't help but fake a smile as Jimin was already set up to cause disaster. "Jimin this is Haechan."

"You're the catfish?" She spoke and you combed through your hair panicked.

"Catfish?" He questioned.

"Don't take it personal Hy-Haechan.....we knew Min met you online and you know it's hard to trust anyone. Most of them lie and cheat and hide who they really are."

He glared towards you but quickly pulled off a fake laugh. "You're right....there's a bunch of crazy people on those sites, lucky Minjeong didn't meet one."

"Nope I didn't." She held his arm leaning closer.

Jimin locked eyes with you again shrewdly. "Nice to meet you."

"Do you mind if I get dressed real quick, Min?" She made a beeline through to her room. "(Y/N), Riri.....help me." She signaled and you were quick to follow.

"Can you be any more suspicious." You shouted in a hushed whisper.

"What the fuck is going on? Why is he here?"

You sighed. "That's Minjeong's new boyfriend."

"Very funny." Riri laughed.

"I'm not lying, it's been him all along -the catfish."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jimin practically yelled.

"Keep your voice down. Can you see why I've been so pissy lately."

"Oh my god, she don't know? You didn't tell her?"

"How am I suppose to tell her. She liked him before I even knew who he really was. I can't do that to her."

"But you're gonna let her do this to you?" Riri spoke up.

"It's not her fault, she never met "my ex" before." You shrugged defeated.

"So what is this? Is this his way of getting back at you." Jimin asked.

"He swears he didn't know she was our friend."

"Bullshit." She shook her head.

"Well, he seemed pretty startled when he first met me."

"And you just played it off like you didn't know him?"

"What was I suppose to do Ri....say hey ummm you know this is my ex that broke my heart into a million pieces."

"Yes."

Jimin looked more angry than you. "I don't know who I should be more pissed at...you or her or him."

"Trust me I'm pissed at myself as it is." You put your hands on your hips, taking a deep breath.

"And he's not in anyway consider breaking it off with her?"

"I tried.....he doesn't care about me anymore."

"You have to tell her." Jimin said with more sympathy.

"Let her be happy with that jerk."

"I don't mean for her, for you. This is not healthy (Y/N)....not after what he put your through - is still putting you through."

"Well, it's too late.....she's already sunk in deep."

"I don't care. She deserves to know, unless you're gonna keep lying to her."

"Besides - if she knew she was doing this to you, she would be upset." Riri spoke up after Jimin.

"Okay fine, but not yet."

"Sooner is better than later, she can't fall farther than she already has."

"I know, I'll handle it. I mean.....if she still wants to date him after then it's whatever."

"Why would you do that when you're still in love with him?"

"I'm not still in love- I'm not." You could tell they didn't believe you. "I'm fine - I promise."

"Guys. Everything alright?" Minjeong opened the door and Jimin quickly changed her shirt, avoiding suspension.

"Everythings great, I love the party."

Minjeong rolled her eyes playfully. "I know I know, I just want your birthday to be special."

"It is, thank you." She gave a genuine smile as you all looted back to the rest of the apartment.

"Drinks you say?" Jimin grabbed you and headed towards the kitchen. "Nice to see you again Hyuck- oops I mean Haechan." She smirked and you couldn't help but giggle as you both grabbed some drinks off the counter.

He gave a look of annoyance. "Hmm, what did she tell you?"

"Oh nothing.....I just think that if neither of you are gonna tell Minjeong than I will." She warned causing you both to look at each other timidly.

"Go ahead, I already told (Y/N) to tell her.......I did nothing wrong here."

"That's priceless." She laughed.

"What did she tell you about us.....I'm dying to know." He leaned on the counter.

"More than enough."

"I bet my life it wasn't the truth." He said causing you to laugh causing the attention of Minjeong from across the room.

"Let's not do this here....it's Minjeongs party after all." You said and Jimin took a sip in agreement.

"Have the punch it's stronger." Donghyuck smirked before walking away.

"Still in love huh?" She asked as she walked away as well. You took a deep breath grabbing a cup of his poisoned punch.

He definitely put more than one bottle in here. And it showed after three cups, but at least you weren't the only one.

::: LoveAboveMyPinkClouds: blog post #52 I wouldn't say I'm a messy drunk but you may be fooled once you're a witness. I tried to contain my emotions, I tried to contain my actions but when your love life is this much of a mess than wouldn't you agree I deserve it - a little medicine to forget my past and apparently my present. It hurts and booze is all I have. Relax - it doesn't mean I'm turning myself into an alcoholic but every now and then I need something to ease the pain. Let's just hope I don't say anything I regret the next day. :::

"I'm so curious yeah.....sajin sok niga!!!!" You sang along drunkenly with Minjeong. "Georeo nawa wae!"

"Psst.....how long are you going to let this go on?" Mark spoke next to Donghyuck as he watched you and Minjeong sing and Dance to the music.

"You want to turn the music off?" He took a sip of his drink.

"I mean this girlfriend - ex girlfriend thing."

"(Y/N) is gonna tell her anyway, so I'll just wait it out."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I know her."

"I need a refill." Minjeong made her way to the kitchen. "I love your punch Channie.....I can't get enough."

"Oh but you will." He pulled her away as she practically collapsed into his arms.

"But it's so good." She whined.

"You can have more tomorrow." He said sweetly as he guided her to her room.

The party was pretty much cleared out by this point. "It's getting late I guess we'll head out." Renjun spoke as he stood up.

"You guys can't go yet. We're not done singing." You slurred your words. "Oof, it's hot." You started taking off your shirt.

"She has a habit of stripping when she's drunk." Jimin laughed and Donghyuck combed his fingers through his hair in annoyance as soon as he stepped out of Minjeong's room.

"I'll put her to bed, you can go." Jimin offered as Mark and Renjun approached the door.

"Thank you for inviting us, happy birthday Jimin." Mark spoke before making an exit.

"We didn't even sing happy birth-" You puked before finishing your sentence.

"You guys go, I'll meet you back." Donghyuck said to Mark and Renjun and he grabbed you gently, guiding you to the bathroom.

He leaned over the tub, turning on the shower to warm. He started unzipping your puke filled jeans helping you out of them as you just stared at him apologetic. "I'm sorry."

"Maybe I should of listened to Minjeong and only put half a bottle." He showed a slight smile.

"I'm sorry for ruining our relationship." He was caught off guard from your statement. You always accused him first for ruining the relationship but now it was the other way around. What changed with you and when did you feel this way?

"What do you mean (Y/N)." He looked at you puzzled.

"I'm sorry I was a horrible girlfriend to make you cheat." You teared and he sighed taking a moment to comprehend your confession.

"You weren't a horrible girlfriend (Y/N)."

"I bet Minjeong is better than me." You looked up at him. "Does she make you happy?"

"Let's just get you cleaned up, okay." He turned you around and unclipped your bra and guide you to the shower, closing the curtain as he faced away from you respectfully. Even though he's seen all of you before, he knew it wasn't his right anymore.

Once you were done, he handed you a towel and helped you to your room picking out some simple sweats, getting you ready for bed.

"Drink this whole glass before falling asleep." You nodded taking the water as he headed towards your door.

"Hyuck."

"Yeah?" He turned around.

"Can you stay with me?" You begged softly.

"You know I can't do that." It was his turn to look at you apologetic.

"Oh....yeah." You said quietly. "Well, thank you for taking care of me."

"Sure." He smiled softly. "Goodnight (Y/N)."

"Happy birthday to me." Jimin spoke as she got up from cleaning the puke off the floor.

"Well technically..." He pulled out his phone. "It's 1:47.....it's not your birthday anymore."

"Har har......thanks old friend." She threw the rag at him.

"Ew." He dodged.

"It's your ex's puke." She laughed. "So.....about that."

"I don't want to talk about it." He started towards the door. "She's a mess."

"Well, can you blame her?" She started making the mood more tense.

"I didn't cheat on her Jimin, I don't know what she told you but she caught something and she took it way out of proportion."

"Then why don't you explain that to her."

"I tried, she won't listen to me."

"Well, maybe she's willing to listen now." She crossed her arms.

"It's too late now.....I moved on, now it's her turn." He opened the door. "I really didn't know about Minjeong if she believes that or not but I can't lose sleep over this. I'm sorry."

"It's not just that." Jimin spoke as he took his hand off the door knob, alerting his attention back. "She's not over you, can't you see that?"

He shrugged. "What do you want me to do.....she broke up with me."

"I think the answer is pretty simple." She said softly.

"It's not my fault she didn't tell her, she's the one that lied."

"But it doesn't make it right." He sighed at her answer.

"Look, I don't owe her anything, she decided to push me out. If she chooses to tell her the truth than fine, but for now I'm going to continue on with my life and she needs to do the same."

"Alright....I get it, it's none of my business - I just care about my friends that's all. But she will know eventually and I don't want anyone to get hurt."

"Have any of you considered that it's not just (Y/N) that is hurt?" He confessed before walking out the door. "Happy Birthday Jimin."

She softly smiled in return and let out a long groan as soon as she locked the door behind him.

::: LoveAboveMyPinkClouds: blog post #52 Okay so I admit....I fucked up. Pretending I didn't know my best friends new boyfriend is probably the dumbest decision I have ever made but what can I say - I panicked. I saw him and my mind went blank.....because the truth be told.....I'm not over you D - there I said it. Most of you called it anyway. Why do I even bother hiding anything. Those two damn years we have spent together was the best two damn years of my life - even if I still think it was wasted. D was the one I was so sure I wanted to marry, to eventually have kids with, to grow old with - my everything. But what changed? I know you guys are still dying to know.....but I'm just not ready. I got drunk last night and poured my heart out just to be shot down. Regrets regrets regrets - now he knows how I feel, I showed him weakness and now he's probably gloating in his victory. Probably even telling J of how much of a mess I am at this very moment. I'm in for a treat that's for sure. Well I guess that's all for now. Xoxo peace :::

"Can I talk to you for a second?" He arched his eyebrows in confusion as you were the one knocking on his door.

"I don't want to be rude (Y/N) but I'm leaving soon to meet up with Minjeong."

"I know, it will just be a second." Your tone was serious and he opened his door to let you in. Mark was nowhere to be seen, leaving you and Donghyuck alone for your disliking.

"So what's up?" He sat down on his wheelie chair, gently rocking back and fourth. You couldn't help but admire his comfy state - hair slightly a mess - slight dark circles forming under his eyes from his lack of sleep caused by late night video games and - sweats to top it all off. You missed that.

What were you doing? This is your ex you are thinking about. He wasn't yours anymore - stop staring at him like that. "(Y/N)? Are you still hungover?"

"Um- yes definitely hungover." He smirked at your stumble. "I just wanted you to know that, that wasn't me last night.....I was clearly drunk and I said some thing's I didn't mean and I'm sorry."

"You didn't say anything upsetting." He grew confused.

"Yeah but I still said some things I regret....I don't remember every little piece but I do know you helped me to bed and I just wanted to thank you."

"Sure but for you sake, let's not do it again." He leaned forward resting on his knees. "You made poor Jimin clean up your vomit on her birthday."

"I threw up?"

"All over the place.....even on yourself."

Your eyes grew wide trying to recall the events that happened. He cleaned you up? Does that mean he undressed you?

"I know what you're thinking." He stood up. "I had no intention of seeing you naked so get those dirty thoughts out of your head. I just helped you in the shower."

"How am I suppose to believe you when I was drunk."

His expression turned sour. "You should know me better than that.....and besides it's not like I haven't seen you before."

"But you don't have that right anymore." You snickered. "Who am I kidding, it wouldn't be the first time looking at other women when you're in a relationship."

He sighed clenching his teeth. "This is what I get for helping you?......Why don't you do everyone a favor and don't get wasted anymore because no one is going to help you."

"I didn't ask for you to help me."

"Why are you even here if you were just gonna harass me?"

"I just wanted to tell you to forget last night even happened."

"Forgotten." He held open the door and you walked out, you turned around thinking more words were going to be said but instead - a door slammed in your face.

::: LoveAboveMyPinkClouds: blog post #53 Transferring was becoming more and more clear as I live day to day. I am just making everything worse.....aren't I. Every time I open my mouth I find myself regretting what comes pouring out - drunk or sober. I don't know what to do by this point. My heart is like a balloon - slowly being deflated. :::

"What's wrong with you?" Jimin said as you burst through the door and collapsed on the couch.

"I hate everything."

"What happened now?"

"I went over to thank Hyuck for helping me last night but it turned into an argument like always."

"You went over to his dorm?" She asked.

"Yeah." You shrugged nonchalantly.

"Minjeong is on her way over there now, what if she saw you?"

"He said he was meeting her - never mind, I don't care.....I didn't see her it's fine."

"If you're gonna hold up this secret of yours, you need to be more careful because what if she thinks you two are hooking up behind her back, that would be worse than lying."

"That wouldn't happen." You shook your head.

"Why because you're gonna tell her the truth?" She forced.

"No because every time we're together we argue. No love connection what's-so-ever." She glared at you. "I'll tell her jeez, no worries I'm just waiting for the right time."

"There's never a good time, that's why you should just get it over with."

"I know." You sighed finally sitting up right, turning on the tv. "I've literally been rehearsing what I'm going to say."

"Just make it short and simple. Haechan is Donghyuck and you're having a hard time accepting them together."

"I'm not having a hard time-"

"Stop bullshitting (Y/N).....you can lie to yourself all you want but you're not fooling the rest of us."

You rolled your eyes but you knew she was right. "I'm just gonna go drown myself in alcohol."

"(Y/N), no more drinking." She laughed.

"Honestly I'm done talking about this right now." You snipped. "I just want to forget about him for one damn second."

"So....we ordering food, then."

"Yes please." You faked whined causing each other to laugh breaking the tension.

::: LoveAboveMyPinkClouds: blog post #53 Yep.....I should have most definitely kept my mouth shut, because I might have pissed him off worse than I thought. But I should have learned that if you mess with a snake, you're gonna get bit but I flinched and now the venom is traveling down to take me out for good this time. :::

"(Y/N) get dressed." Minjeong burst through the door being dramatically over excited.

"Why?" You groaned not wanting to get up.

"You and I are going on a double date." She said and Jimin sucked in her lips trying to not say anything.

"Huh?" You leaned up.

"Come on.......it will be fun. Dancing and dinner - hot sexy date."

"With who?" You were beyond puzzled.

"Okay so maybe I'm not really sure.....but Haechan says he has this friend that wants to hang out and he's single so...." She shrugged.

Donghyuck selecting a date for you? This can't be good. You pissed him off this morning and now he is in some way, taking revenge. Who could it be? Maybe he payed some desperate nerd to hook you up with. The thought just made your skin crawl. He was definitely up to no good.

"I'm sick."

"(Y/N) please...let's have fun." She pouted.

"Okay but the second I'm uncomfortable, I'm leaving." You'll be surprised if you last the first 5 minutes, to be honest.

.....

"Will you stop pacing, they will be here any minute."

"I thought this place was a lounge not a club."

"It is a lounge, I guess they are just packed tonight." She shrugged.

"I swear if he brings some creep to hit on me-"

"Look they're here." You glanced over seeing Donghyuck entered first and you already hated him for looking the way he did. He may be the type to wear sweats all day if he wanted to but when it came down to business, he knew how to dress nicely and you grew angry from just how attractive he is.

He glanced at you but by the way he eyed you up and down made your question what he was really thinking. He almost seemed speechless. You just hoped he wasn't thinking anything negative.

He did love me once?.....

You tried to shake off the thought of him, looking behind to see who he thought would distract you for the night on this oh so exciting double and you almost thought your eyes deceived you. What an asshole! You knew he was out for revenge and he couldn't sink any lower.

"Hey (Y/N)."

"Hey Jaemin."

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