#but i wont be able to make enough money from my job alone and i just wanna have a little less debt | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wildcardsoul · 27 days

Text

a more in depth background of my persona 3 oc...

the one linked here! It's a lot so its gonna be under the cut but it's much more than what i had before!! idk how many will see this but it would be so cool and awesome if you read it because these two give me such intense brain worms i need to tell everyone about them (will include p3 spoilers)

touma hiroya was born as a surprise to an, all things considered, normal family. a mom, dad, and a brother, teijo, 10 years his elder. his family was not expecting another child but welcomed him anyways

the pregnancy caused a lot of complications, but they thought they were in the clear during his birth, unfortunately more issues arised and his mother passed away shortly after, devastating the others. a new life was brought into the world but at the cost of another.

both grew bitter towards the newborn, silently blaming him for the death of the mother. it took until his father shouted at the now-toddler for teijo to realize how foolish he was being. touma was completely innocent.

but things only got worse as time went on, their father having resorted to drinking since the passing of his wife and quickly developed an addiction. obviously i wont be going into abuse detail but their situation gets Bad, but teijo always makes sure to protect touma always

he manages to get accepted into a college, with an insane amount of hard work he is able to gather enough money to get an apartment and take in touma, pretty much raising him. teijo finds himself leaning more towards science, while touma starts picking up his medical books

years pass, now roughly 20 and 30, teijo gets himself into the kirijo groups scientists, and touma is in medical school. all things seem to be going well for the two, teijo sending touma extra money to support him every once in awhile.

that is, until, again, things take a turn for the worse. teijo gets sucked into the deeper parts of the group, seeing the experiments theyre doing on the shadows, and worse, people. but hes too far into the group now he cannot back out without being in danger

it becomes obvious, though, how he hesitates. and soon enough they turn on him. they realize teijo has a strong potential, and try to force-summon a persona from him. it works, but he is unable to control it, and his own persona kills him.

touma is clueless. he stays clueless, it wasnt uncommon for months to go by without hearing from his brother, he is busy after all. then the accident happens, the explosion. he is told his brother died there. and hes alone in the world.

touma tries to go on, tries to keep going in school but he struggles. he finds himself skipping classes, sleeping in, after some years he runs out of money, he has no choice but to drop out. he tries getting jobs, but none last too long. a few more years and hes out of money and jobs that will accept him. unable to afford his apartment anymore, hes stuck wondering the streets. its now he discovers the dark hour, terrified of it, but able to use it to his advantage. he felt awful, breaking into places and stealing, but he would starve otherwise.

its on fateful day that he is found. he had fainted on the street during the dark hour, after not having had enough to eat the day prior. shuji finds him, clothes torn and dirty, trying to get him to awaken. after a bit, he does.

during this time its early spring, a month or two after makoto had joined SEES. seeing the potential in touma, shuji decides to, at the very least, help him through the night. he can see what else can be learned about him, if he'll be useful to his cause.

after bringing him to his home, getting him showered and fed, they talk. shuji realizes he's heard of touma before, the younger brother to one of the scientists. it feels like fate, his brother had an extremely strong persona, if touma was any similar, perhaps he could be useful

if things were handled differently. with the plan in mind, shuji offers him to stay with him at his home. he even pulls some strings and allows touma to be an assistant nurse at the school.

months pass, and touma never awakens to his persona. but its alright, he is proving himself to be extremely useful by having the medical knowledge he does, helping out the kids after tough fights and long tartarus trips.

touma is EXTREMELY grateful towards shuji, feeling as if he saved his life. during those months he can't help but find himself falling for him. sure, it helps he saved him, but he genuinely adores shuji. he finds him so charming and funny, he feels like a schoolboy with a crush

meanwhile shuji is finding himself feeling the same. which complicates things a lot. he can't have feelings for someone right now! the world is destined to end, its unworth saving, theres no point in dealing with love. he tries to keep up appearances but shuji is stressed as hell

hes in heavy, heavy denial he could love someone in this cruel of a world, trying to find any reason to justify it. and he does. it all makes sense, why the pieces would fall into place so neatly. touma was destined to be the avatar of nyx. it was so clear!

shuji would be the god of the new world, with touma by his side to help bring it to fruition. no other reason would he be so drawn to him, right? so his plan continues in motion, until all 12 arcana shadows are defeated, and shuji starts his plan.

touma watches as someone who he loved betrays him, betrays them all. he tries his hardest to reason with shuji, to beg, to plead to listen to him, that killing these kids he cares for won't do any good, that the world is still worth saving, but shuji's delusions have taken over

shuji raves about how this is destiny, how this is what they wanted, right? to be together, and they will be, with the creation of the new world everything will be perfect. and the rest plays out in canon, aigis saving everyone, and shuji getting shot.

despite it all, the betrayal, touma still loves him. as shuji walks backwards towards the edge of the roof, touma runs over to him, trying to save him from falling, but it's too late at that point. shuji had fallen. without a second thought touma goes after him.

he doesn't think about it, if this is how he dies..then let it be. he'd rather die with shuji than live with losing someone else he loves. through the rush of doom, its finally now touma's persona awakens, eos, the goddess of dawn.

touma, who had managed to grab hold of shuji's hand, pulls him closer against the wind, and with eos' wings they're able to safely make it to the ground. what i have after this is pretty..up in the air, but pretty much it comes to shuji realizing he was fucking crazy and a LOT of therapy. a lot. touma and shuji stay away from the kids for awhile because..well they kind of doubt theyd want to see them. again still nothing concrete after this but. they end up being okay one way or another.

this is just like. toumas in-canon story how it would go In Canon but i also love pretending everything is fine and that theyre silly and in love but also ouch ouch ouch ouch they hurt me to think about sometimes

also sorry if not all of this makes a lot of sense within canon its been awhile since i beat the game.. but uaugh. augh. uahg. they mean so much to me.

heres a little lamb touma doodle for ur troubles <33 i doubt it but if anyone has any questions PLEAAASE ask me i need to talk about themmmm

#shuji ikutsuki #persona 3 #p3 #persona 3 reload #p3r #p3re #self shipping #self ship #canon x oc #canon x self insert #persona oc

6 notes · View notes

vendocrap8008 · 11 months

Text

no one looks in my posts anyway, sooooo.

Random Plot

I might use it in the future, but I’ll just write it down rn. I’m very much an amateur in writing stories, i just love reading. So, if you end up stumbling across this, don’t judge.

Note: Mc has no name yet, but she’s a shapeshifter and her traits might be influenced with Larissa Weem’s character absolutely love Larissa😩😩

Mc is a college student who has a scholarship in the university. Really smart gal and hardworking. She’s study oriented and has a small group of friends, but she’s not seen a loser.

Mc lives in an apartment a couple blocks from campus. She shares this with her three bestfriends, two of which are dating.

Mc has shapeshifting abilities, she hides this from the public but uses it to her advantage. Her family is broke and her dad died while she was young, she helps her mom take care of her younger siblings (boy&girl).

Mc earns her own money, she works part time at a coffee shop within their apartment building and assists in the local library. She’s a very busy person, quite career driven and usually has no time for herself since she also has school works to do.

Mc’s abilities helps her take shape of any human she wants to. But she must have them memorized or she wont be able to morph into them completely. One other way to shift is to intake their blood. Just a couple drops will last atleast 3-5 hours, this will also make her easily adapt to their quirks and personality.

Mc takes clients through online transactions but she gives them a swift background check first before she does accepts the job. She doesn’t want to accidentally shift into a wanted criminal or anything.

Mc gets a job offer from a popular kid in school, the typical jock. He’s known for being stupid but good in the field. But what Mc knows most about him is that, he is dating the headmistress’ daughter.

The jock offers her to replace him for a while so he could skip a date with said girlfriend. He wanted to hang out with his friends but it was their monthsary so he did not want to leave thw girl alone. Mc accepted the job and got to work.

Mc has spoken to the girl once or twice in classes but the girl is usually kept to herself despite being considered as one of the “popular kids”. She’s only really there because she’s of high ranking, so to say. Being the daughter of the school’s headmistress while also being insanely smart gives her enough power to walk through the halls with people’s eyes on her.

Jock ends up hiring her more times to skip dates and other plans. Mc ends up spending more time with girl and ends up being friends.

But ofc, girl just thinks she’s with her boyfriend. Except, he somehow is better in these times rather than before. (In times where Mc shifts as him, girl gets confused on why he suddenly gets smarter and stuff)

Mc and girl ends up being friends while mc is in her self form too. Girls trusts mc and become close friends, this make mc guilty because she feels like she’s messing with girl’s feelings. Esp when girl confides in her about girl’s feelings for her boyfriend and personal stuff.

That’s all for today. I’ll add more possible entries before i end uo actually writing it. If u have any suggestion, let me knowww. (As if anyone will see this)

1 note · View note

zukotheartist · 1 year

Text

Hiii :) i need a bit of help

(Ik i said i wouldnt do rant posts here but this one is also advice seeking? So we'll let it slide this time)

It's about uni and mental health and jobs, etc and just overall oversharing lmao. Feel free to skip ofc lol but if anyone has some advice/opinions to share, im all ears.

Basically, i just really don't know what to do with my life💀. I even took a gap year in between hs and uni to decide and ig it still didnt work😭.

I'm in uni studying languages (mandarin, portuguese and japanese) and the language part is going well so far, I guess? (And I do like it!). I even like a few of the other subjects (some of them i only have them for 1 semester so theyre not major subjects) but i really just cant handle it???

I wasn't happy with my choice in the sense that I think my job prospects after uni won't be great but I knew I wouldn't be able to handle anything else (im terrible at stem and most high-paying jobs require it lol + i have depressive episodes 24/7💀 and im pretty sure i have adhd*). But even picking smth i like and am not terrible at (not great at either but at least it's not math lol) im not able to handle it???

I was trying really hard at first, i didn't want to fuck this up, but the rhythm needed is just... way too much for someone who stuggled all throughout hs and has shit mental health.

I managed to work hard for a bit (studying everyday after class, doing 8hr study sessions during the weekend, revising quickly while waiting in line, etc) but then i let loose (or even went full days/weeks with minimal amount of studying) bc it was so overwhelming and now im cramming like 2/3 months worth of 3 different subjects and my exams are in Jan/Feb (the first available dates on the 10th) and ill be lucky to pass a single one of them with the speed im going at.

Even on days i get up early to study and barely even look at my phone, it's just too much stuff and im not fast enough + i lack a lot of things bc of my slacking off in hs.

I go to uni in Italy and if you fall behind u have to pay more but ig it's better than putting all this effort and most of all money to then just drop out and be left degreeless?

But I feel so freaking terrible bc i literally dont even work part-time or anything and i still live with my parents and theyre the ones paying for all of my stuff basically? So to add a higher cost bc i couldnt keep up with uni🥲 but then, if i take a part-time job, ill be making some money but uni will be going even worst and itll still be a waste of money???

I've talked to multiple therapists/psychiatrists, asking them even for LIGHT anxiety meds and *all* of them have refused (I also made it clear that I would still go to therapy even if I got meds but nothing).

Studying calms me down a bit but even tho ive started doing it daily again and for hours on end, im still akskdkdkrkr

Ill talk to my family and my therapist but i honestly dont know wtf to do with my life. Ik the whole "dont cry over spilled milk" thing but i really wish i could re-do hs to not be in this fucking mess.

It doesn't really help that my only goal in life is to make a lot of money bc i think ill be alone (both romantically and platonically) forever but with the way it's going, ill be lucky to get a minimum wage one (im not saying it as a diss, those are respectable jobs too but like i said, my only goal is to make money so i can live comfortably and distract myself from my depression lmao).

This is all very specific and i doubt anyone responds (let alone reads) but if anyone does read, tysm for reading this sad long rant🫂🫂🫂. I pretty much wont be able to see my therapist until just a bit before my exams so this was also my way to let out some frustration.

*Ive tried to get an official diagnosis, and it's fine if im wrong ofc, but i was immediately denied and told that couldnt be it... bc of my age lmao💀

#uni #university #uni advice #university advice #uni struggles #al's post

0 notes

idontknowidontno · 2 years

Text

Im depressed and suicidal because of my abusive family and I want to run away but any life i could make for myself is worse than the one i have now. Living here, i dont really have to do anything and im not being abused that much anymore, but living here is incredibly damaging to both my mental and nutritional health. I dont have any friends or other family to run to and i have no independencey. I dont have a car or drivers license and i live in the middle of nowhere so walking or public transportation is not an option. My parent has both my ID and debit card and if I tried to leave i doubt they would let me. I actually have a decent amount of money but as i said my parent has my debit card so i essentially dont have any. I thought about becoming a sugar baby and exchanging cooking and cleaning and sex for housing and food and such but im fat and ugly and from what i can find online there doesn't seem to be much of a market for lesbian sugar babies. I have hoped that my young age (18) would make me more appealing but the longer i debate doing that i will get older and lose that appeal. Furthermore, a relationship like that would likely not be healthy and probably traumatize me even more. If I got a job it would just make me more miserable than i already am and i probably couldn't even get one because i never had one before and i dropped out of elementary school so i dont even have a hs diploma. And again, i likely wont have access to my debit card so no way to get paid. And if i could get a job it would likely not pay well and i would not be able to pay for the things i need for my dreams and therapy in addition to rent, utilities, a phone plan, food, and cat food and litter, so I would just be in misery for several years just for a chance to maybe someday live the life i want. And I have anxiety and have never been physically alone my entire life so going out alone would be terrifying when it is already scary going out with others. Im just a lost for what to do. It really seems like suicide is my only option but i have scant opportunities to kill myself and when i do i dont feel as suicidal because my family is gone. And i dont even know if there's a knife sharp enough to slit my wrists with and i have no other way to kill myself. Im a just a loss for what to do and i guess im posting this because i know that sitting around all day isnt going to change anything and though posting this likely wont change anything either there is still a chance it could.

#Abuse #Runaway #Help #Suicide #Depression

1 note · View note

serenheist · 3 years

Text

What Taehyung is like in a relationship/ Taehyung as a boyfriend Tarot reading

How long does it take him to get into a relationship? & Does he prefer long or short term relationships 8 of cups, queen of swords, 10 of pentacles 9 of pentacles reversed, 4 of cups

Ffs the queen of swords always pops up. Anyway yeah I don’t see him getting into anything quickly. He could’ve in the past but I think past relationships left him drained af and feeling alienated. I think he has a shit ton of walls up and is a lot more no nonsense now. It’s probably intimidating and more blunt to others because he wants to get to the heart of why someone is trying to get with him since so many people try to pull the same shit and fuck around with him like he’s dumb. He does not settle for anything other than what he wants. If he can’t find “the one” then he legit just rather be alone. It looks like he’s now more focused on building a Legacy though and something serious and long term so he has no desire to just jump into something with anyone. He basically would wait it out and get to know them long before deciding he trusts them enough and feels comfortable enough to show his emotions and not be so aloof.

I feel like he’d be the type to not show much interest at first because he really needs to scope the person out. So the person probably wouldn’t even know he actually likes them. Actually he could be a little too jaded and bored to the point of turning away everyone even though he does want a relationship. But in his mind there’s too many people being carbon copies and trying to swindle him for his money bruh for real all of bts are having this problem like damn it keeps reoccurring. Idk why it seems like there’s people also trying to use money to get with him like they’re rich and they think he’ll just want someone loaded. Like dude he’s already rich so that doesn’t work and to him them having a ton of money means Jack shit when they have the personality of a damn rock.

Past & present love life 10 of swords, 2 of pentacles present: the hermit, 5 of wands

Past love life: welp. Do I really need to explain the 10 of swords. I think actually that he had all this past trauma and shit from relationships and even other shit he still hasn’t dealt with but there was no time to even process that because he had to get back to work and act like he was fine. I think he’s the type of person that buries himself in his career when he experiences traumatic stuff that he doesn’t want to deal with. And of course it’s easier when you’re busy 24/7 anyway. This relationship betrayed him in every way tbh but maybe it was a catalyst for better things to come though he still might not see this right now. Present: I don’t see him in a relationship now currently cause the hermit but also being a major arcana it’s like he’s really in a life stage right now where he just wants to be alone because there’s so much conflict going on and he’s feeling anxious and having all these negative pessimistic thoughts that he just needs time to himself. I don’t think he very optimistic about his love life right now he’s lost a lot of hope. Things are too chaotic elsewhere to focus on romance.

What is he like in a relationship? the chariot, ace of cup, Unicorn, fae 61, solus 13, vanth, the sun reversed, anger and chains 29, justice, 2 of swords reversed, 3 of cups reversed, avenoir 1, princess of pentacles,ta’om the poet 29, ace of swords, Thanatos

What is he like in a relationship? When he’s in a relationship he really puts all his focus on that person and will go above and beyond for them. There’s a kind of masculine and feminine balance in him in the sense that he’s ready to be the go getter and take charge but there’s also a vulnerable energy and overflowing emotions. He works hard to take care of his person and make the relationship work . The only downside is he could possibly be too smothering to his partner or come on too strongly because of past shit and maybe too clingy for some people since in a relationship he really shows his softer side and he’s not as aloof as he is to others. He loves to have little house parties with his partner and have friends and family over with a ton of food and music.

For date ideas he’s down for anything but especially something “magical” maybe literally some place like Disneyland or pagan festival like beltane? That’s specific af but there’s a medieval type of energy and nature spirits and shit, he wants to do stuff he hasn’t done before and that might even be outside his comfort zone since G. Hobyah card is all about imaginary fears and getting past them. The best qualities he has in a relationship is the ability to help his partner stand on their own 2 feet but also recognizes that you can’t do everything on your own so he’s the type of person who would go above and beyond and connect you to the right people or situations. He’s always there when his partner really needs them and will make sure to put time aside.

His worst quality is that I don’t think he knows how to express his anger in a healthy way. I think with the sun reversed next to anger and chains it’s more like he doesn’t know how to fully show it it’s kinda repressed but his emotions under the exterior are a hot mess and there’s a big need for stability. It’s like being too stubborn to admit when you mess up and petty shit cause it hurts his ego. But I don’t think it’s super bad considering the justice card I used to represent his communication style. I feel that even if he gets mad af he gets over things really quickly and one minute he’s be angry and 10 minutes later he’ll be asking you what you want for dinner like wtf.

When he likes someone he’s not going to jump in and immediately go approach them. I see him instead watching them intently from afar lol he’s very cautious and like gathering everything he can on that person. Dude’s a 1st class stalker. Jk But the thing is the person wont even know he is interested in them because he keeps a serious face as a kind of mask but on the inside he’s like a giddy kid. Ta’om is known for looking serious and thoughtful but is actually very playful and slightly mischievous. I think Taehyung is definitely one to start off as friends and slowly get to know someone rather than just start dating because he really wants to know that person well to see how real they are and if they’re just putting up a front.

He’s not attracted to new shiny things that are perfect he’s able to see the beauty in all things even in difficulty. After he’s been friends with them for awhile and knows if that person like him back, that’s when he’d actually make a move. He finds a lot of satisfaction in doing services for others until they’re completed so it makes me think his love language (giving) is acts of service but with the ace of swords is pretty obvious his Receiving love language is words of affirmation but moreso he appreciates when someone is blunt and honest and not just saying stuff to make him feel better cause then it’s just insincere.

What is his ideal type? the ageless, the star, the singer of healing 10, el shaddai, protection 26, ram, the maestro, fae 41, the sage 19, king of cups reversed, himself 17, danu, death reversed, obsession

His type: this person seems to have had some messed up stuff happen to them in their past. Even when others were horrible to them they still kept their dignity and chose to still give to others instead of give in to bitterness and despair. It’s like the Phoenix where no matter how many times they metaphorically die, they can still rise up even better than before. I think they’re able to help heal others because they’ve been through the trauma themselves but they know how to be honest and blunt without being overly mean about it. They have a kid of tough exterior though I think from years of negativity from people that’s made them strong but also a little distant from people and they need a lot of time to themselves to recharge and get away from peoples bs. Honestly this seems a lot like Taehyung too lol I think he wants someone who’s been through similar traumas.

The ram keeps calling out to me that I think this persons way of showing love is a little aggressive but that’s what Taehyung likes in someone tbh. It’s not like actually showing love it’s hard to explain. It’s more so you know when someone tries to act like sarcastic and shit to hide the fact that they like someone? Idk why it reminds me of toph from avatar the last airbender where she just punches people to show affection it’s kinda like that. Cause they’re not good at being really vulnerable. They put on this brave face and are pretty good at it to the point where you won’t notice that they’re jealous seeing you hang out with someone else. But this person is really independent like I’m not joking lmao and a go getter they don’t rely on anyone really. And don’t give a fuck who you are.

There’s 2 healing cards and honestly why is this person so similar to Taehyung lol this person is great at helping or healing others but again has to realize it’s okay to also get help for yourself. They think maybe that they’re fine on their own and they don’t like relying on others for help because people disappoint you and it’s easier to just do it yourself. But they’re really good at giving advice and are lot nicer than their exterior let’s on. Bruh the star card makes my mind keep playing that I’m gonna be a star song by twice lmao stop. I think this person actually is a star or is working up to it cause they have huge plans. This isn’t someone just wanting a mundane job I think they’re gonna go big.

Especially paired with the ram talking about they go for big dreams and huge successes. This person won’t stop until they accomplish their dreams they really don’t care what others say and will go to the extremes to get there. I see they have a lot of talents anyway but some people were like saying negative shit that their dreams are impossible but they’re learning to set boundaries with other people and it’s more of a just move in silence energy. Also usually I don’t say zodiac signs but since it’s a major arcana it might play some significance but Aquarius might be prominent in their chart (nvm I just remembered Taehyung has venus in Aquarius so duh you dumbass it wouldn’t be that out there to think he’d be drawn to Aquarius qualities).

I wonder if this person is into astrology though given all the glyphs. I think this is someone Taehyung has been trying to manifest and call in too like wishing on a star for a looooong time and maybe thought it wouldn’t come but boy does the universe have a surprise for you. They really are future oriented thinkers and know a lot about spirituality I think that a big part of who they are I really don’t think they’d be completely atheist or not care about spiritual topics. They give a lot without much thought in return and can talk about anything with openness and honesty. With Taehyung they’d teach him everything under the sun. He likes when he can share all this knowledge especially about weirder topics with someone who isn’t going to dismiss him. I see them really encouraging him to try new things and show him things he never knew were possible. They treat him like he finally belongs somewhere in the world.

This shit is kinda spooky because both the maestro guy and illbe the retriever are holding orbs/a little white ball close to them and they speak of the same thing. This person really protects Taehyungs hopes and dreams. Also they themselves obviously represent a dream that Taehyung thought was long gone and impossible. I think it can be taken literally too lol to mean that when Taehyung is being forgetful af. This person is that type of person who has your keys already when you think you lost them. They’re really the more responsible one in the relationship lmao helping him to be more organized and get his life together. The next set of cards I used to represent what his biggest turn ons are. This isn’t in a sexual way though lmao I meant the qualities he likes the most in his ideal type. Already I noticed how all the cards are facing straight ahead and looking right at you so it makes me think this person has some intense ass eye contact and looks intimidating and they got a rbf.

With the king of cups reversed I don’t think they’re actually these heartless cold bitches and that Taehyung is turned on by that because the sage card is upright and talks about the same shit but this is a person definitely who looks colder but is actually kind on the inside. He kinda likes people who look cold like that but are actually sweethearts. This person is not one of those super lovey-dovey people or uses pet names and babytalk like “my sweet baby Taehyung” whatever I think they find it very cringe. They have some trauma from when they were kids where they felt as if they aren’t allowed to act very emotional because people will think they’re weak and take advantage of them (this is just their beliefs about themselves) they instead act very macho or tough again lol like Toph from ATLA idk why I keep thinking of her but there’s like a kinda tomboy energy but they’re really not heartless they just need the right person to feel comfortable around and need to work on opening up emotionally.

There’s so much masculine and yang energy but then at the end you see this motherhood figure so it again really makes me think it’s a front and this person is so nurturing and that’s what really draw Taehyung to them. He loves the most that this person knows so much about the most random things and esoteric topics. They value tradition and stability but they also understand the need for growth and change they’re the perfect balance. Communication is really a big thing for Taehyung it’s a reoccurring theme in this. Someone who is very good at communicating and are action oriented. They say what they mean and mean what they say. It’s very important that they are their own unique individual self and have their own goals and skills and hobbies.

This person is probably a powerful manifester too and sets their intentions and goes after them. They have so much power and confidence also with the himself card they could be a dancer or love dance since he’s a dancer faerie they’re very much into creative shit. They seem very natural and not the type who got work done or wears too much makeup idk there’s like a wild energy lol like this bitch is from the damn forest. If someone attacked Taehyung this person would literally drop kick someone even if the person was bigger than them. Danu card is always protective and nurturing but ferocious if you mess with their person. Like “idc what you do to me but if you touch my guy I’ll end you”.

Now onto what Taehyung’s biggest turn offs in general are: death reversed and obsessed card lol oh god bro I am fucking done. His biggest turn off is when someone makes him the center of their universe. I mean this in the extreme way like “omg you’re my one and only we’re meant to be I think about you 5000 times a day and have an entire closet with all your pictures and I document your entire life” 👀 and he’s like uhh can you get a damn hobby? (That doesn’t involve me) Cause imagine someone’s entire life revolves around you. It’s sweet at first I guess? Lmaoo then it’s just creepy and like they have no life or personality without you. Death reversed is like something is plaguing you and following you around, pestering and annoying you. He must’ve experienced this shit irl lmao if it’s this strong with a major arcana to come up as a turn off. Cause major arcana are big ass life lessons. Like they thought he wouldn’t know they were secretly obsessed with his ass and used other people like his friends to get closer to him but I’m telling you Taehyungs intuition is something else and he always knows when people are some obsessed crazies. This is exactly why he’s so cautious now because of bs like that he can’t trust anyone. Like please stop acting like Jodi Arias and have some self respect.

442 notes · View notes

oh-for-fic-sake · 3 years

Text

Love Is Blind

Masterlist

Summary: The time has come to reveal your and Henry's relationship to your brothers, simple right? Well it would be if your wasn't the baby sister to the infamous Shelby brothers.

Warnings: RPF, Swearing, Slight Angst, Fluff, Confrontation, Implied Violence

A/N: so here is the Peaky Blinders AU that i started a few days ago, Im really happy with this and had a lot of fun with it. But please excuse the typo's

Taglist: in reblogs

You looked around the road eyes wide ,watching the passers by. The peaky blinders were everywhere... this was always a risk, not to mention you wasn't entirely sure where each of your brothers were. Or aunt Polly you only knew that Ava was off with her lover Fred. And you were doing much of the same... Well not Fred but Henry, your own lover. You'd met him when welcoming Tommy home from the war... He was hard to miss tall- taller then Tommy even! and injured he was searching the crowded dock but... It was clear to see that noone was there to greet him off the boat. He looked distraught and shattered. You were a bleeding heart and had approached him as your family had a small get together, you'd given him a hug pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek and welcomed him home giving him one of the flowers in the bouquet you'd brought for tommy. He had appreciated it, more then you'd ever know.

What you hadn't known was that he was moving into a home a few streets away. A few weeks later you saw him and he thanked you politely, you couldn't help think how very handsome he was, perfect blue eyes but for a speck of brown in his right eye, sharp regal features and pale alabaster skin now free from the bruising of his injury. He hadn't been as broad or muscular back then, but had been tall and lean.

Over the next few months chance meetings became dates, dates became full days basking in one another's presence until finally after a few months you'd fallen for the amazing gentle giant. It had been hard falling so hopelessly in love with Henry and having to hide from brothers and gangsters alike. But somehow you'd both made it with minimal near misses. Three years. Three years you'd been having this secret romance with him. But now you wanted more, as selfish as it was you wanted to be free to love him in public. Without worrying who may have seen you or if Aunt Polly will tell Thomas.

Yes she knew alright. There are no secrets from Aunt Polly. She said you done well and had even spoke with Henry a few times, she liked him. He wasn't in the business but could protect you, his shear size would be enough of a deterrent to others. And honestly she thought Tommy would get along with him, henry was clever and had an imposing frame. If Tommy had the chance, you knew Henry would be pulled into the fold, you were just unsure if that's what you both wanted.

Henry hadn't had much luck with work at first when he was here, so he became a boxer for a time learning to fight and defend himself and bulked up. It was terrifying to watch him be so ferocious in the ring and you thanked god each day Henry had avoided gaining a crooked nose. A few times you'd run into Tommy at the fights, your brother had singled you out and had you brought to him to stand and watch. But you were pleased to find out that your brother always placed his money on your man... So that was a good sign wasn't it?

Henry knew you didn't like his fighting but continued, he wanted to offer you everything. A home with kids and garden a cute little dog and the best clothes and food money could buy. So he saved everything! Kept all his winnings and in just over a year he had a nice sum of money in bets from his winnings and managed to earn enough for a small house. Since then he had a job doing the heavy lifting in a local Steel works.

Everything was set! Henry had a home for you, which you had a hand in help decorate. He promised a long and happy future with you! There was just the small problem of your family. They were... Protective to say the least, not only were you a Shelby sister but younger then Ava.

You quickly left the street today you were meeting Henry by the docks where Tommy kept the horse he'd just got. It was close... but not too close, it was worth the risk to be able to see Henry. Today was the day. You both decided! Henry will talk to them, introduce himself to your brothers this afternoon at the pub before they could drink too much.

You rounded the barn casting one final glance over your shoulder out of habit and slipped into the stalls. You could see him already, his flat cap and dark blue suit. Oh god he had dressed up for it, shit tommy would laugh him out of the bar. You chewed your lip and quivered you were anxious, this could be make or break. If Tommy was against it there was no way you could sneak about and keep your relationship going. They would chase henry out of Birmingham. Or kill him.

You stepped around the horse and giggled watching as henry gave himself a little pep talk twisting his signet ring on his pinkie with shaky hands. He was terrified and so were you. He paused and spun around to face you when he heard the small clicks of your heels on the concrete floor.

"W-what do you think?" he said spinning around holding his hands out letting you get a look at him. You stepped closer to him trying to settle your rapid heart. He was immaculate, stunning and handsome, sculpted by the gods... But looked too pretty. And god knows a Shelby girl wont be allowed to date a pretty boy. You smiled at him stopping inches away from him and walked your fingers over his chest slowly unbuttoning his suit jacket.

"You are magnificent... But a little too refined." you hummed motioning for him to shrug out of the loose suit jacket. He hissed out a shaky breath as you took the jacket from him and tucked it over your arm. That was better, the vest and white shirt showed his frame perfectly, and it also showed the slight strain on the buttons of his shirt. Hinting at the powerful man hidden beneath. You wanted them to see he was a strong man and it wasn't all the cut of the suit. You needed them to see you'd chosen a strong man capable of protecting you.

"There perfect" you said stepping back straightening his tie a little and stood back eyeing him carefully. There really was nothing more you could do. He would have to prove himself in what ever test your brother would conjure on the spot. By god you hope he impressed them.

"Yes you are" he quipped quickly eyes locking on to you making you blush and look away tip toeing around the horse in the stall that hid the two of you. Henry drew in a deep breath watching you closely. This was it. Today was the day, and he hadn't a clue what he was going to say to the great Shelby men. He cursed under his breath turning from you for a second. You understood, this wasn't just your future you were risking today, it was his life. Not many impress Tommy and far less managed to get in his good books when they were trying it on with the baby sister.

"You know that you have to just... Go in there and say 'I'm dating your sister' Right? Be firm and tell them like it is! Stand up to them! They would respect that" You cooed grinning at him from across the barn watching as your love eyed you from the other side of the magnificent white horse Tommy had recently got.

"What and have John blind me with his blades?" He scoffed at you before rounding the horse ducking under the stallions huge head and leant forward trapping you with huge hands resting either side of the horse stall you were leaning on.

"Ugh Johnny boy couldn't even reach your eyes Henry... Its just Tommy and Arthur you need to watch..." you rolled your eyes at him trying to act normal and ignore the black cloud hanging over your head. If this was the last time you were to be alone with him you wanted him to remember you as you are, not the nervous terrified woman you were at this moment. You smirked rising on your tip toes and teased his lips with your breath making him groan silently, the deep contracting of his wide barrelled chest the only give away to the effect you had on him.

You pulled back just as he dipped down to meet your lips and giggled at him as he wound his large arms around you hoisting you up by your waist and sat you on the wooden fence on the box stall bringing you eye level with him. You giggled folding your arms in your lap with his jacket knowing he wouldn't let you fall, he never did.

"Ah just Tommy and Arthur... That is cruel, I'm shaking in my shoes love" he teased wetting his lips with the luxurious pink tongue you knew all too well.

"Aww my poor bear, so frightened of my brothers I know, perhaps this will help you find that courage of yours~" you cooed before pressing forward kissing him on the lips. His lips drew up into a beaming grin and he stepped closer forcing your legs to part and dress to rise up to your knees as he devoured you in a heated yet forbidden kiss.

"Well then lets go shall we?" He grumbled eyes alight with a new want, a deep desire he had never shown before. It was thrilling and awe inspiring. Like he had a new lust, a lust for life and not just what was hidden beneath your skirts.

"Oh love like you said Tommy and Arthur?! I'm going to need all my strength for this meeting" he laughed as your face held a look of shock and disbelief then a petulant pout when you realised there will be no quick romp in the hay this afternoon. With one final wink he spun around heading for the door.

You stood outside the pub. Your brothers were inside, you could feel it. There was a buzz in the air, the destinct feeling that followed 'the boss' hanging around. You had drawn a little attention walking the streets With henry at your side. People watched as the young Shelby woman walked arm in arm with an undisclosed male carrying his jacket no less. It made you cringe hearing the murmurs of 'should we tell the boss' 'does tommy know?' 'should we help her?' but luckily none made any moves towards you as you moved deeper and deeper into the heath. Towards the pub. You slowed as you neared the final destination and henry pulled out his cigarette tin fishing out the small stick deciding to have a quick smoke before entering the proverbial lions den.

"It will be okay... He will... Test you, but remember family is everything and I'm his youngest sister so..." you trailed off, the truth was you didn't know what Tommy would do or say. He was unpredictable and cunning, he liked to test people. You just hoped Henry passed with flying colours... or the only thing flying will be... you closed your eyes trying not to think of what would happen if things went sour. Henry could die, literally die today for loving you. It curdled your stomach you cant loose him. You hoped Tommy would see that.

"I know that... Here twos?" he said offering you the small cigarette he had been dragging on quickly nervously trying to pull some more courage from the small stick. Because once he was inside he couldn't show any weakness. It was daunting unable to show weakness when the love of his life was on the line. Henry was under no illusions Tommy could and would kill him, and there would be little Henry could do.

"Just remember y/n no matter what I love you. I will always love you" henry said as you toom a few drags on the cigarette. You whined and nodded breathing out the smoke trying to exhale all the tension and anxiety with the fumes.

"I love you too Henry, so much more then I thought I could ever love anyone" without a thought Henry pulled you to him and pressed a kiss to your lips. He didn't give a damn he was kissing the forbidden princess right outside her king brothers castle, or that the others around them would see. Be needed this one final pick me up before faceing the firing squad.

You smiled pulling back handing Henry the remainder of the cigarette and nodded to him. You got this. Then entered the pub walking right into the private room where your family sat. Instantly Polly looked at you frowning seeing you were pale, worried. Then her eyes flicked to your hands still folded with Henry's jacket draped over them. She drew a deep breath and sat straighter looking at the three males wearily. Oh god.

"Tommy I need to talk to you" you said seriously. But the blue eyed man rolled his eyes flicking the ash off his cigarette into the crystal ashtray before speaking dismissively trying to wave you off.

"Your not having that cat its final" john and Arthur chuckled at the automatic response Tommy gave but you frowned. You wasn't to sure what to say next, you didn't want to agitate him but you needed him to listen.

"No its not that- I have something to tell you and its important" you said drawing the attention of John and Arthur, but tommy heaved a sigh and moved stubbing out the lit cigarette and flicked his eyes to you letting you know he was listening.

"Mr Shelby could we talk?" You looked up seeing Henry standing there, tall and wide. Firm and unafraid confidently eyeing your brothers in a way oud never seen before. People cowered. Henry wasn't there was no hint of the anxious man outside. Henry was on a mission.

"Not now can't you see I'm speaking with my sister?" He grunted his voice was even. But to others could be seen as irritated. You turned as Henry didn't so much as flinch, you thought he'd run off but Henry let himself into the room standing closely behind you, one hand moving to his head removing his flat cap revealing the neat styled hair. The usually fluffy curls pulled into a slick style that accentuated his angular features. You nodded to him with a smile pleading him to carry on. What you didn't expect was for henrys huge arm to wrap around your waist in front of your sibling's. Fuck. You felt the shift in the room, anger and shock radiating from the men but an overwhelming curiosity. They wanted to watch this, it was rare someone was so god damned stupid as to put hands on you.

"She is the reason I'm here Mr Shelby" Henrys voice carried over the small space in a low determined tone. You tucked yourself into him, pivoting and twisting a hand to his tummy resting there, fingers twisting the button on his vest. You just needed to feel him, you felt like you were shielding him, but it was also self soothing. You needed to reassure yourself he was here for you. No one else. You.

"Oh? And why is that then?" Tommy shifted leaning back eyeing the man who was being so familiar with his baby sister. Tommy was no fool, you hand flinched or pulled away, this male had been around you enough that you were used to him touching you. You gravitated towards him like... like a lover? Tommy's blue eyes bit into the man. As unsettling as it was seeing his sister so close to another man Tommy couldn't help feeling a little relief, a small spark of joy. If this was your beau you'd done well. Tall, muscular wide and imposing. Not many would pick a fight with him, even drunk people would steer clear of him.

"She invited me" Tommy smirked hearing the man speak, he was confident. Unafraid that boded well too. He wasn't a fucking coward... or atleast he was pretending not to be.

"This is what I wanted to talk to you all about...Tommy, Arthur, John... This is Henry... My?" You hesitated and looked between henry and our family. You just froze, clammed up at the calculating look on Tommy's face. It was frightening being scrutinised by him.

"Lover sweetheart we agreed no more secrets" Henry finally broke the silence tipping his face down to yours with a smile. Ignoring your family in favour of snapping you back to reality.

"Oh no you fuckin' aint sonny boy- y/n you get your ass over here now!" Arthur broke the silence with a rough voice shouting, ordering you to round the table and sit next to him. You grit your teeth and shoo, your head at Arthur watching as he turned red in anger. You wasn't like Ava, you never caused trouble or made trouble for your brothers, heel you were a 'goody two shoes' always doing as you were told. But this time you refused to do as you were asked and stayed put.

Tommy ever the eagle eye noticed. He had been ready to rip this man to shreds but, your simple act of defiance caught his attention. You wasn't a girl to play silly games, so to blatantly refuse and tell them no and side with this Henry meant you were serious. This was serious. And Tommy was wracking his brain he recognised this man... But from where? He was sure he wasn't a blinder so who was he?

"Now y/n don't make me come and get ya"

"I said no" you snapped at your eldest brother, but your eyes were on Tommy. Henry squeezed your waist as you stared down your most threatening of brothers. Eyes locking with his blue gaze as you held your ground. The smallest of smirks tugged at his lip. You were unsure if it was good or bad but he wasn't scowling so you'd take that as a win.

"Your the one that was boxing...pulverised the others" Tommy said pointing slowly at Henry whilst pulling a crystal glass of whisky towards him, his thumb skimming the rim of the glass in thought. He was thinking, scheming... but then again when was Thomas Shelby not scheming?

"Yes, not that it was personal I needed to win" henry spoke clearly not letting the severe glares f your other brothers shake him. He was impenetrable a solid rock- a mass of a man all firm and sharp angles determined and poised.

"Oh? And why is that then?" Tommy purred still keeping his cards close to his chest, no one knew what he really thought of you and henry or the relationship at that moment. But he was speaking, not shooting. And that was all that mattered.

"I needed the money to buy a house for your sister" Henry said plainly placing his hat on the table in front of him. It was a strange gesture but one you understood. He was making himself comfortable but also using it as a metaphor throwing his hat in the ring so to speak, showing your family he had no intentions on hightailing it out of there and leaving you in the dust.

"You did, did you?" Here was something, a twinkle in the cool blues. You tried to dig deeper but as soon as it was there it had vanished. For a second you dare say your brother was impressed with your choice in man.

"I wasn't coming to you without being able to offer your sister something... I wanted to prove I'm capable of providing her a future" Henry shrugged feeling Tommy with a stare. You shivered hearing the iron will, the absolute control Henry had over himself. John scoffed and leant over the table glaring at Henry dragging on his cigarette then spoke up trying to mimic Tommy's own indifferent threatening demeanour, but failed. There was only one Terrifying Tommy.

" and some tiny house on a backstreet in Birmingham is a future?" john scoffed laughing outloud trying to dampen Henry's resolve. But your man was ready and grinned smugly showing off the perfect teeth and stunning looks.

"Medium actually... not huge but its bigger then what she is used to, with front and back garden bought and paid for... Last week I even got her a kitten... Russian blue expensive but y/n wanted one and I wont deny her" he replied without missing a beat. Henry was proud of what he had achieved, and so he should be. The house he had managed to buy was a nicely sized three bedroom home, and it was indeed larger then where you lived with your family at the moment. Well decorated and furnished with tasteful furniture most of which you picked out together.

"And what you think I'll give my blessing because you got her a bloody cat?" tommy drew the attention back to him. You swallowed dryly. Tommy sounded mad now. You moved shuffling in front of Henry trying to cover him more, yet your hand wandered behind your back and you clasped your lovers hand tightly hoping things wont go from bad to worse.

"No, you don't need to bless anything, I'm not here to ask. I'm telling you that we are together and serious...We've been a couple for almost three years... And its about time I informed you" your breath hitched as Henry's voice resounded in the room. Oh god that was too far! You paled and snapped your head to him on the brink of tears and pressed back into Henry trying to make him pull back, but no. The man was a brick wall- immovable and stubborn... yet cool and unfazed. But what struck you most was the shock on your brothers faces. No one had spoken to any of them like that for a very long time. And for good reason.

"There is a fine line between courage and stupidity Henry" Tommy said recovering from the shock quicker then the others. He didn't even see you now standing on shaking knees trying to shield henry as much as you could with your frame. But it was no use, Henry was to big, you were but a tiny waif of a woman in front of him. But Tommy bore his curious gaze into the huge man. It would appear your love now had his undivided attention.

"I know, but I'm on the right side of it. I love your sister. And I have loved her for three years, since the day I got off the boat" tommy tilted his head to the side surprized once more by your lover. You drew a slow breath in. You knew tommy respected those who fought for their country.

"You served?" came the question as tommy poured himself another glass and then lit up another cigarette. You saw a quick smile light up his face, but again it was gone before anyone could really notice. Henry heaved a deep breath and nodded, he was no fool. He took a chance and it had paid off, or it seemed to have paid off he wasn't staring down the barrel of a gun or had a peaky cap flung at his face.

"Yes, along side you in fact... I was smaller then... Easy to miss. Your sister showed kindness to me when I had no one and nothing. She gave me hope, hope for the possibility of family and a normal life. She managed to ease my terrors and pull me from the memories of the war. And for that I will give her everything" henry spoke, you noticed your brothers each shrunk. They understood, the war left scars on the mind and it was true even henry had suffered, but you were able to sooth him and bring him back from the worst night terrors. Tommy grunted and flicked his gaze from you to your man then back again. There was a warmer hint to the blues, dare you say an acceptance. But even you knew he was still going to pull something out of the bag and throw a curveball at your love. Tommy still needed to test Henry, but atleast you could say so far so good.

"And taken something I assume?" Polly hissed looking away as your brother spoke. You rolled your eyes, did he seriously want to know if you'd fucked? Tommy held Henry captive in his gaze he knew the answer but for some reason he wanted the hear it out loud. You couldn't help this was Tommy's test, he was daring your lover to lie to him. You prayed Henry wasn't that stupid. To your reliefe he proved he wasn't as he replied sincerely.

"I shared something freely given I assure you there was no pressure" the statement wasn't smug, henry didn't make you sound like an achievement, something to conquer. And he made it clear that he hadn't pressed you into anything. It earned him a nod from all three men, you smiled they were coming around to Henry. Thank fuck!

"And you come here and say that to my face? Tell me you've broken in my sister? You certainly have balls" your smile dropped and you shifted on your feet. What just happened? Things were going great, and now they weren't? Luckily Henry was more prepared for this then you and he answered smoothly not fazed by the way things had turned so quickly.

"Yes I'm not going to stand here and lie about our relationship I love her. And I'll not hide it a second more. I will protect her and cherish her she has my upmost respect"

"So you say you respect her? Yet... She's carrying you jacket around like some maid?" tommy tried twisting things pokeing at Henry trying to get a rise out of him. Probably so he had a reason to chase him off. But you wanst having it.

"Tommy, I'm holding it so he cannot run! Stop being an ass" you growled releasing Henry's hand and moved forward seething at your brother who lounged back regarding you carefully.

"That's enough mouth from you y/n you've done enough becoming a fucking little whore when our back is turned?" you paused takeing half a step back as tommy's furious gaze landed on you. You quivered feeling hurt, flushing in anger and embarrassment. Not once had he spoke to you like that, you were always praised by your brother, protected and loved to hear him growl at you so cruely was heart breaking.

"I'd ask you don't speak to her like that-" Henry spoke up growing angry himself with the way Tommy had spoke to you. But henry was ignored as Tommy began to lay into you hissing venomously belittling you in front of your family and lover.

"Tell me sister is this some last mineut attempt to cover up a bastard? If so is it even his? For all we know you could be bed hopping all over the heath" you whined at the assault mouth hanging open trying to form words but it was hard. Your eyes welled with tears. Call you a cry baby but you loved your brothers and tried to do them proud to have one of them be so nasty cut you deep.

"No!- Tommy of course not-"

"So your just becoming the heaths bike then? To think after everything you'd sink so low to ruin yourself- Ava was one thing she's always ran around behind our backs but you? I really expected better then to become a two bit whore" his words were like razors ice picks hitting your chest, he always knew how to slice deep. It came with being a blinder- but you never thought you'd be on the receiving end. You moved back another step bumping into Henry, you wanted to run and hide. For the first time in your life you were scared, you didn't want to feel your brothers fury.

"Do not speak to her like that in my presence ever again" Henry snarled brushing past you hiding your quivering from behind him. He was livid and for a second you thought he was going to swing for your brother.

"She's my sister-" Tommy started looking back at henry who had taken the bait hook line and sinker. But was cut off by henry stepping forward leaning over crowding Tommy thumping the table with more force then necessary. Everything jumped, the glasses ashtray even the bottle leapt from the table. You jerked gasping as the bang echoed in the room.

"I don't give a fuck. You wont ever talk to her that again. She is mine and brother or not you will treat her with respect or you will pay for it!" everything stopped. No one moved. No one breathed. It wasn't everyday someone threatened A Shelby, least of all Tommy. Henry growled at your blue eyed brother. Tommy tilted his head taking him in.

"H-henry?" you whispered moving forward pressing a hand to the small buckle as the back of his vest tugging him back, making him stand at his full Hight just in time as John shot up from his seat ready to lunge.

"Oi! Don't you talk to him like that I'll have your fucking eyes!" he roared jumping up turning on your lover but Tommy stopped him fisting a hand in his jacket and tugging him to sit back down... He was grinning?

"Tommy?" Arthur asked not following, but then again he always was a few steps behind everyone. You frowned blinking back tears and gasped. That bastard! It was a trick! You slumped and wrapped yourself around henry before anyone could realise what happened. Henry curled himself around you frowning confused and you tucked yourself into him.

"Any man who a the balls to defend her against me...Will protect her from anyone..." Tommy spoke and tipped his head to the seat across from him offering Henry a seat at the table. You both sat quickly beside one another Polly moved pouring you both a drink, you looked like you needed it.

"So? So you mean we can be together?" Henry asked trying to keep up with how he'd just gone from having a target on his back to having a seat with the family. Tommy smiled nodding whilst bringing his own drink to his lips sipping the amber liquid then spoke.

"Mmm But you've broken her... You'll repay me for ruining her by making her an honest woman"

"The rings in my pocket" Henry said rubbing your back as you shook next to him, the adrenaline and worry now rushing through you. All these years of anxiety washing away with sweet tears of reliefe. Henry tucked you under his arm and held you close on the bench seat hushing you as you crumbled. You didn't really register what was said instead pressed your self into him hands tugging his clothes trying to calm down.

"Then do it- but you ever turn your fists on her I'll kill you" Tommy threatened holding out his cigarette tin offering one to henry, he took it thanking him then popped it between his lips and lit the white stick. His hand only quivered slightly, the rush of what just happened hitting him.

"It will never happen, I couldn't live with myself if I ever made her feel less then perfect let alone harm her" he said squeezing you tighter to his side.

"Then we have a deal?" tommy smiled, a genuine smile as he spied the two of you. He had no doubt, if henry was willing to go toe to toe with him in his pub, in front of his family- probably the most dangerous thing you could do in the heath. Then henry will take care of you and protect you with his life. Plus Henry made you happy and that was all Tommy could ask for, your safety and happiness. Contrary to what people thought he had no issues with anyone dating his sisters. He just didn't want his girls to have weak simpering husbands to protect them should the worst ever happen... And Henry knew how to shoot a gun from his time in the forces, so when handed a weapon Tommy wont have to worry about having a newbie protecting his baby sister. And Henry will be given a gun to protect you with.

"That we do" Henry grinned shaking Tommy's hand and quickly snagged your own placing a thin gold band on your left ring finger before you could even muster a single sound. You blinked wiping your eyes pawing at the salty droplets and gasped seeing the band on your finger, a small diamond in the centre or the dainty ring.

"W-what your not e-ven gonna ask me Henry?" You stuttered at him hiccupping and sniffling trying not to have a full blown breakdown and cry from both relief and happiness. Henry laughed pressing a cheeky kiss to your cheek making you flush and tuck your head back into his chest trying to hide from the onlookers.

"Now why would I give you the chance to say no? Hmm? I may be a tad slow sometimes but I'm not a complete idiot" he purred finishing with a small chuckle, that the others echoed everyone had calmed down accepting the news. You whined at him and slapped his chest lightly pouting as henry laughed.

"Besides your brother and I made a deal" he added as you pulled back eyeing your new ring with a weak smile managing to control yourself bar a few sniffling gasps and the odd rogue tear.

"Oh s-o I'm b-business?~" you tried to tease him but the words lost their bite as you were still tearful from your crying. You were weepy you couldn't help it, today had been stressful- hell this past week had been stressful!

"Business? No... Your my world love" he cooed not caring in the slightest at how soppy he sounded. He wasn't here to put on a show for your brothers. He was here for you.

"I love you" you said peeking up at him with a shy smile.

"Good to know~" he hummed winking at you taking another drag of the cigarette, but you pouted sticking out your bottom lip like you did each time he teased you.

"Yes, yes I love you too" he caved pressing a chaste kiss to your lips drawing a growl from your eldest brother, but nothing was thrown so you summarized you were safe.

"Congratulations Henry I told you they weren't that bad" Polly spoke up quickly ending your sweet kiss before anything could go south.

"Yes Ms Polly you were right, we should have listened to you" henry admitted rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly

"Wait pol you knew?" tommy growled snapping to his aunt but the older woman rolled her eyes. Honestly you think he'd learn by now. No one pulled the wool over Polly's eyes.

"Who to you think has helped keep her from having a kid for three years Tommy! At least that's one thing I don't have to worry about anymore thank god!" she huffed pretending to be annoyed but you knew she was happy for you. She had been routing for henry, and trying to get you to tell the boys for a long time. You were just scared.

"Polly! Stop it" you squeaked flushing, no one needed to know just what Polly had been helping you with! Least of all your fucking siblings!

"What its true? Now your free to pop them out without any uncomfortable questions from this lot, and i have no doubt it will be soon" she teased with a smirk enjoying tormenting you, she had bit her tongue for too long it was about time she got to poke fun at you. You were such a shy innocent little thing.

"Oh my god stop" you moaned ducking down as everyone chuckled at your expense. Henry then made it worse by ducking down beside you and whispered in your ear.

"...She does have a point love" then nipped at it quickly before turning back to your brothers as your face flamed.

It hadn't been the easiest of days, but in the end all the worry and anxiety had paid off not only had you managed to reveal your relationship to your family with no casualties. But you also became engaged to the man of your dreams. Tommy seemed relived, he was happy for you in his own over protective brotherly way. The freedom that came with todays outcome was worth it and now you and henry were free to start your lives together. Truly start with a marriage kids the whole nine yards! And you'd never been happier.

#peaky blinders au #henry cavill #henry cavill fic #henry cavill imagine #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill fanfiction #rpf #henry cavill au #henry cavil x y/n

226 notes · View notes

bonny-kookoo · 4 years

Text

Soulmates (JJK x Reader) ☁️🔞💜

✨ Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

✨ Genre: Angst, Breakup AU, Idol AU, Smut, fluff/romance

✨ Warnings: Breakup, crying kookie because that needs to be a warning, arguing, shouting, some mean things being said, safe sex because we wrap it up even if we’re sad friends, vanilla sex, it’s just basic lovemaking y’all what do you think this is, hopeless romantic Jungkook, jk is super bad expressing his feelings and kinda petty

✨ Summary: Jungkook always told you that you were his soulmate. But sometimes, soulmates aren’t meant to be, are they?

Jungkook had a nasty habit.

And it was that every time he thought he was right, he became selfish. And no, not in any cute kind of way. He would start to chase his own tail in a sense; completely blocking out any kind of other opinion than his on a topic. It lead to the shouting match you both had now; his voice considerably louder than usual, a whine to his tone that in no way was intended to be charming. No, the way he drawled out certain syllables was to only further make sure you knew how upset he was.

"What do you want me to do!" He yelled, looking at you with a gaze that you knew could easily guilt-trip you into giving in. But this time he needed to be an adult, you needed him to understand your side of the situation as well. "I can't just make everything disappear and make everyone forget my face." His eyes were still hard. "They'll figure it out anyways, I don't get why we have to hide it anyways!" He groans out, as you sigh, a headache incoming.

"Because it would be the end, Jungkook." You argue back, voice however in no way as loud and stern as his was. "I'm not telling you that you have to be an actor onstage, but I'm asking you to leave our problems and arguments Off-Stage Jungkook. Everyone on twitter got concerned why you were so serious during your stage!" You said. Because this had been the main issue at hand. He have had a concert just a few hours ago, but you weren't able to attend it. The reason had been that some staff members forgot to pick you up from the airport due to some problems that had come up last minute. You had been understanding, simply ending up taking a cab to yours and his shared apartment, watching his performance via livestream instead. He'd sounded upset over the phone, frustrated even, yet you had tried to reassure him that it wouldn't be his last- you would always be there the next. What did upset you however, was how he had been openly upset onstage about it. He seemed agitated, serious, and not his usual self, which had lead to not only his bandmates scolding him, but also you. You had simply asked him to remember that fans couldn't know what happened away from the cameras. They didn't know, and they had no hand in it either- he was being unfair by punishing them with his behavior. But his habit of growing hostile when critic got too personal blasted everything out of proportion, now ending in the situation you had in his kitchen.

"Well, I'm not gonna go up there and be all happy while I don't even know if you're safe!" He barks back. "You're just as important to me as the band, as my job, can't you appreciate that?" He whines, and your eyes become even more upset.

"Jungkook, I do appreciate it, but it's also what I'm scared of." You say, and he furrows his brows. "You can't do this Jungkook, please. I told you I can wait, I'll wait forever, but this is a limited time. I want you to enjoy it fully, without responsibilities, because they'll be there soon enough. I want you to be with your band 100%." You say, and he suddenly grows quiet.

"You sound like you're breaking up with me right now." He wonders across from you, his voice now eerily low and considerably less loud and angry. You can't look at him.

"I don't know if I should." You answer him, and his eyes suddenly widen a bit, glistening as the tip of his nose turns red. He's close to crying, you know it. But you have to do what's best.

"Don't." He says, hands balling into fists before he nervously wipes them down his sweatpants, suddenly on edge. He's always like this whenever he's unsure of what he's supposed to do. It's quite endearing, if it wasn't because of such a matter. "You- We'll find a solution, I shouldn't have, you know, gotten so upset-" He starts, but you shake your head.

"Please, let's just.. not." You mumble, and you still can't look up at him. "I'll uhm.. I'll sleep on the couch, okay? I try and be gone tomorrow morning." You say, and only now do you move, trying to get out of the kitchen, as he suddenly embraces you from behind, his large body shaking as he struggles to form a coherent sentence through his tears.

"No no I didn't mean it-" He apologizes, even though there is nothing there to say sorry for. "I'll be better, I'm sorry, I won't do it again-" He chokes out, but you hesitantly grab his hands, trying to unravel his arms around you. He holds on tight, like a toddler not wanting his mother to go and leave him alone. It somehow feels just as heartbreaking to you. "Don't go, I'm not letting you, please stay.." He begs, and it reminds you of a tamper tantrum your friends kid held in a store a few weeks back.

"Jungkook please, don't.. don't make it so hard." You say, trying to be brave but ultimately failing as you have to swallow hard to keep your own feelings locked. At least until you're alone. You finally manage to get out of his hold, as he stands before you, eyes red and cheeks wet with his tears as his bottom lip trembles visibly.

"Are- you serious?" He asks, voice higher in pitch as he struggles to keep it steady. "You'll leave me alone like that?" He almost accusingly says, and you sniffle.

"You're not alone Jungkook, you're never alone. You shouldn't even be here, you should be sleeping at the dorms like you used to. I'm just pulling you away from the band, and its not fair! I have no rights to do it, I'm being selfish, I'm now interfering with your work as well, Jungkook, don't tell me you're this blind." You say, as he looks at the floor, caught red handed.

Jungkook dries his nose on his sweater sleeve as he swallows. "I'll.. go and sleep at the dorms then. You uhm.. can take the bed." He mumbles, as you nod, even though you probably won't be able to. "Are you.. will you.." He starts, and you nod with a sad smile.

"My promise still stands." You say. "If you'll still want me then, I'll wait until this dream is over." You say. He nods, biting his lip as he grows unsure again. He doesn't know what to do, if he should hug you, or not, kiss you, or not, hell he doesn't even know if he can look at you now. So he simply nods again, shuffling away as you stay put, listening to him putting his shoes on, as the door shuts after he leaves.

Only then does it hit you.

And only then, do you let yourself cry, sob as you scream and fall to the ground, letting it out.

As he sits in the living room he once felt so familiar in, he notices how alienated he feels. It's awkward as Jimin and Suga look at him, unsure what they should say. Only now does Namjoon come into the room, surprised to see the youngest. "What's going on?" He asks, and Taehyung gives a bottle of water to Jungkook, as the youngest mumbles his answer.

"We broke up." He says, and everyone seems to grow sad at it. They really liked you, even though everyone had been wary at first; you had proven to them however, that you were genuinely in love with Jeon Jungkook, and not only the Jungkook of BTS that made headlines if he only did as much as sneeze in public. His money didn't matter to you and neither did his fame- yet they had all feared this outcome. "She said uhm.. she doesn't want to interfere with my work so.."

Suga nods at this, and sighs. "Mature choice." He says. "Shows she cares about you." He concludes, as Jimin seems to want to argue. Jungkook shrugs. "But I think a lot of it came from you." He speaks, as he looks at the youngest, who furrows his brows. "Think about it. It was your choice to spend your time at your private apartment rather than here so you could be with her. You get upset when she doesn't text you, and fuss over her if she gets hurt." He explains, as Jungkook suddenly feels as if he's being scolded again, huffing as he slids into the couch with frustration. "But that's who you are; you invest yourself 100% if you find something that makes you happy." Yoongi puts his phone away.

"That's totally helping, hyung." He grumbles out, as Jimin throws one leg over the other.

"I think what he's trying to say is that you have to find a good balance." Hoseok says as he sits down as well. "You always give it your all, and thats great, but it wont work long-term. Split your time equally, make space for a piece of everything instead of trying to carry it all at once." Jungkook sighs, as he feels his eyes sting again.

"Well, doesn't matter anyways." He huffs out, as his voice chokes up again. "Guess at least PD-Nim will be happy." He grits out before he begins to cry again, everyone at loss on how to comfort the youngest of the group.

Jimin chimed in at that, gently scolding the youngest. "Now thats unfair." He says. "He's not gonna be happy over you being upset Jungkookie." He scolds, and Jungkook looks down at his hands in his lap.

He knows hes being petty and childish right now. He knows things like these happen. He knows that you love him, and that you're probably just as upset as he was.

But he was heartbroken as well.

And he hates it.

It takes him a while to figure it out.

It takes him to break down during a concert in front of thousands as he realizes its the first ever since your breakup; as he remembers that no, this time he won't go home to his own apartment but he'll share a room again. He won't be rubbing his sweaty hair teasingly on your neck to hear you laugh and yell at him to stop. He won't be getting to hold you through the night after he'd made sure you both felt close and satisfied before he'd fall asleep with you.

It takes for him to cover a heartfelt song with your name on the tip of his tongue, making fans fawn over the emotional tune in his voice as he let's go of his pent up feelings through the only thing he knows he's good at; music.

But he eventually figures it out.

BTS is granted a small hiatus, a moment to breathe, as he immediately knows what he wants to do with the time he'd been gifted. He visits his parents, tells them about you and his plans, and feels even more motivated as he finally returns home into his private apartment, previously owned by him and you. He wonders how many nights you'd fallen asleep in front of the TV waiting for his live concerts to be shown. He sits down, grabbing his phone, as he calls your number, secretly wondering if you've changed it.

You didn't.

Nothing is being said at first, until he speaks. "Hey."

"Hey." You answer, unsure.

"I've made time now." He says, and you sigh on the other side of the line, saying his name as you're ready to argue, before he stops you. "No no no not like that, aish.." He runs a hand over his face, hair longer now as he thinks about what to say next. "Long term. I.. Yoongi-hyung said that I'm merely growing up, and that that includes changing, but-" He starts, and his voice is a bit raspy from slight overuse from recording another cover earlier that day. "I wanna grow up with you, not away from you. I wanna change, but I want to change right next to you I-" He stutters a bit as he grows nervous. "I don't want to wait until this dream ends Y/N.." He says, throat closing up as he thinks about how you maybe changed your mind. He can't give up like this, though. "I want to live this dream with you." He finishes, and its quiet for a moment. Until he hears you sniffling.

"You're stupid." You say, and start to laugh as he does too.

"Where are you right now?" He asks, and you sniffle again before you can answer.

"Crying at Hangang bridge, what about you?" You chuckle, and he smiles at no one in particular.

"Can you.. Can I pick you up?" He wonders, picking at the ends of his sweatpants' strings. You agree, and he gets up immediately, grabbing his jacket, a mask, and his cap as a disguise.

The door hits the wall with a loud noise, making Jungkook hiss a bit as he's a bit startled by the noise, before he simply resumes in kissing you feverishly, not caring much about any damage might done as he closes it shut behind him. He slips out of his shoes and picks you up with ease after you've discarded yours as well, stumbling a bit with you in his arms as he laughs on the way into his bedroom, your arms safely around his neck in fear he could drop you.

He'd never.

He makes sure your back meets the mattress softly as you both shuffle out of your jackets, his cap meeting the floor somewhere as he unhooks the mask from behind his ears, the fabric having been moved to rest under his chin anyways, simply to be able to kiss you silly. He shrugs off his coat as his hands help you to throw your shirt over your head, his body crawling over yours as his hands move over your skin. He's in heaven, absolutely insane for your touch as your cold hands slip under his oversized carhartt shirt. He wonders for a moment how he could ever make it work without you, without your presence, your touch, your love and care for him. He's happy he doesn't have to, glad he was able to pull you back towards him, as he leaves open mouthed kisses along your neck, carefully cupping your breasts until he unhooks your bra, helping you discard the piece of underwear before he places a few kisses on their bare skin as well, relishing in the feeling of them, warm and soft in his palms.

"I love you so much." He mumbles onto your skin as if to tattoo the words underneath it, to keep them safe inside your flesh never to be forgotten by you.

"I love you more." You humm against his lips as his meet yours, his grin making his eyes crinkle at the sides as he helps you get him and you out of the rest of your clothes. He moves away for a moment to get a condom, before he jumps back on the bed in a manner that's almost too childish considering what you're about to do, but somehow it's so undeniably Jungkook that you simply laugh, closing your eyes as your head falls into the wrinkled bedsheets below.

"Impossible." He answers a little late, as he slips on the safety over his length, kissing you again as he carefully slips inside you, breathing out a sigh of relief at the feeling of your warmth around him. "You feel like home." He humms out, a rough grunt escaping him as he begins to move his hips, years of dancing experience making it easy for him to find a rhythm perfect for you both. You still smile.

"You're so cheesy." You huff out, as you look at him, his hair falling downwards as your hand instinctively reaches for the back of his head, pulling him onto your lips again, hooked on his taste as he needily bites your lower lip, sucessfully opening your lips to grant him access. A younger, more innocent version of him would've thought of this sloppy and intimate way of kissing as weird and maybe even gross, but his current version couldn't care less. He'd do anything to feel close to you.

So he doesn't care that your juices make your bodies slippery, that his sweat starts to collect on his temples, or that the sheets underneath you two would probably have to be washed. It doesn't matter, because he's with you, he's holding you' he's inside you- nothing could make him stop now.

When he reaches his climax, spiling into the condom inside you, he reaches between you two, inked hand finding your most sensitive spot as he eagerly moves his fingers over it, making your whine and whimper as you come undone as well, clenching around his sensitive cock as he breathes heavily, letting his head rest on your shoulder as you both take a moment to collect yourselves.

He laughs after a moment, slipping out of you with a slight hiss at the sensitivity, before he heavily rolls onto his side, taking a deep breath before he groggily heaves himself into a sitting position, discarding the condom before he flicks on the bathroom light with a click, the sound of gushing water soon filling the apartment as he filled the bathtub with warm water, carefully opening a drawer where some of the bathsalts and soaps were kept, before he puts some in, gentle smell meeting his nose as he smiles softly. He tucks some of his hair behind his ear as he steps back into the bedroom, corners of his mouth still turned upwards as he spots you still laid out on his bed. "Come on, let's take a bath, yeah?" He humms, as you smile sleepily, letting him carry you into the bathroom where he sits you down in the tub, returning into the room after he'd put the sheets into the hamper in the bathroom, and put new ones onto the bed, ready for when you both would return.

He steps into the tub, sitting behind you as he leans back against the cold tiles, you in his arms as he sighs. "I mean it, you know." He says as takes the loofah from the side, gently moving it over your arms as he carefully cleans your skin. "I'll balance it out better. I promise-" He says, as he moves your hair away from your neck over your shoulder, kissing the top of your other. "I'll be better. I promise." He concludes, before you move, turning around as you return his soft gesture, moving the soapy sponge over his skin as well as he watches you with fond eyes.

"Okay." You say, and almost laugh as his eyes widen, brows shooting up into his hair as he grins, moving forwards to hug you tight, uncaring for a moment that the water slightly spills off the sides, making him look at it in surprise for a second, before you both laugh as he lathers your face in sloppy kisses.

"Thank you!" He repeats. "Thank you- thank you- You won't regret it, I'll be good, promise!" He says, and you smile at him.

You know he's gonna keep his promise.

You're happily chewing on your snack Jungkook had bought you earlier, as your head rests on the crook of his neck, your legs thrown over his lap as you sit on his thigh, his hands clicking the mouse and typing on the keyboard as he adjusts some stuff. He'd invited you to spend some time with him at the studio, only if you wanted to of course, and he did tell you it would probably be boring. You disagreed, even now- sure, you weren't doing anything, but it was interesting to see him produce songs. He clicks to save his project, before he shuts down his computer, leaning back in his chair as he groans, head falling backwards. "Done?" You ask, and he shakes his head.

"Not quite, but I shouldn't be working anyways." He says, as he pulls his phone out of his jean pocket, checking something before he playfully slaps the side of your bottom. "Alright, up up, we have a camper van to pick up and some bags to carry love." He exclaims, and you smile. He'd decided after a bit of brainstorming to take you on a small trip to jeju Island, having managed to get in contact with some people to be granted access to a more private campsite, so he could spend his small trip as safe as possible with you. He'd post any picture of the scenery and him later, after the trip- he knew how easily his fans could pin point where he was from past experience.

As he locks the door of his studio, he walks down the hallway with your hand in his, mindlessly, as if it's second nature for him to hold it anywhere he goes with you. Its charming, how he doesn't even notice he's doing it anymore.

He even opens the car door for you while he talks, again not noticing it at all as he simply continues what he's doing, driving you both to your now officially shared apartment. He'd had a talk with his bandmates about him and the dorm life- and they had all agreed that it was okay if he wanted to move in with you. As long as he'd spend enough time with them to not end up growing apart again, they were fine with it. After all, he was growing up, and that also meant for him to grow more independent.

He put the bags into the back of his car, a rented Palisade, as he drove you both to the airport, the plane you both board taking you to Jeju in a mere hour. A cab takes you two to the rental service where the campervan was already waiting for you two. He smiles as he moves everything into the van, thanking the guy providing some explanations on how things work, before he sits in the drivers' seat, you climbing in beside him on the passenger seat. He grins for a moment before he turns on the engine, driving off as you smile as well.

You don't know how the future is gonna go for the two of you. You're sure this wasn't the last hurdle you would be facing, but you're more sure than ever that you would manage it somehow. You'll make it work. You know that.

Because at the end of the day, you're still his soulmate. And they'll always find a way to be together.

Thank you for reading everyone, and please stay safe and healthy!

#bts imagine #bts #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts smut #jungkook imagine #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts reactions

586 notes · View notes

buckyskorpion · 4 years

Text

11 hours - part seven

Pairing: Biker!Bucky x Reader

Summary: bucky is the mystery you can’t wait to solve. if you can get out of his bed long enough, that is. a biker au.

Warnings: gang-typical violence, sex scenes, alcohol mentions, probably more to come so stay tuned

A/N: hello i apologise in advance. pls dont hurt me!!! i would appreciate your feedback and your theories about where this fic is going! i hope this part isn’t too..... upsetting lmao. i wont be taking tags for this so please dont ask.

title taken from 11 hours by wet | playlist | please donate to my ko-fi!

masterlist

You believed, until now, that you walked the world seeking out dark corners and underbellies other people didn’t want to touch. That’s your job. The current case you're supposed to be working on involves a man suspected of drugging his girlfriend to take nonconsensual nudes of her and sell them to his friends while she slept. You’re well aware the world is a dangerous place.

But things look different now, in a way you never could have imagined before the Lerna. Those men were dead before you could blink, and you know life is expendable and fragile and so easy to take but it’s another thing to see it taken before your eyes. It’s another thing to take it yourself. And you know, now, why Bucky would only show you parts of his life and himself because this whole truth feels like staring directly into the sun - painfully bright, to the point where it’s all you can see and all the good things are reduced to a spotty, hazy blur.

You’re sitting in your office, at your desk where you’re trying to work but you can’t get the sound of bullet casings hitting the floor and the thunk of a knife in skin out of your head. There, in the centre of your tiny office, was where you sat on Bucky’s lap and kissed him and demanded ‘no secrets.’ Too stubborn to know he was keeping them for a reason, that maybe there are things you don't want to know after all. But you can feel his skin under your fingertips and the brush of his stubble as he kissed you, a memory you can touch, and you can’t help but think it still feels worth it. At the end of it all, if it was a choice of the Lerna happening or never having Bucky at all, you know what you’d chose.

As if he can hear you, your phone buzzes with a text from him. Joey’s at 7?

It’s already 6:30. You’re grabbing your keys and leaving the fear on your desk chair as you text him back. Sounds perfect.

It really is. Joey’s is your favourite bar, and just seeing the grimy neon sign outside makes your heart feel less heavy. This, after everything, remains the same. You still feel giddy jogging down the stairs, ready for the heady bass music to push through your chest and a whiskey apple to numb the wounds. It feels like the beginning, half-nervous half-excited to go find Bucky tucked in a booth at the back, dim purple light chiseling out his cheekbones and catching bright on his sharp smile. Back then it was innocent, if a fuck buddy hook-up could be. Now that you know you would do things for Bucky you’d never do for anyone else, that you don’t think you’ll ever be able to remove his brand from your heart- well. You skip a couple more steps as you head down into Joey’s, only a few minutes late.

You don’t slow down as you enter the bar, weaving through patrons searching for a familiar face. Now that you’re here to the urge to see him, to have him in your arms, is almost unbearable. When you do find Bucky, spinning a glass between his fingers in a nervous habit you’ve noticed he has, he feels your eyes on him immediately. He stands and you crash into him, burying your hands under his leather jacket to feel the warmth of his body against your palms. Bucky hugs you back just as harshly, the force of his embrace lifting your toes off the ground. When he pulls away his runs a hand over your head, down your hair, coming to rest by the side of your neck as if to check your pulse and make sure you’re really there.

“You ok?” he asks, bright blue eyes now dark and hooded as he stares down at you.

You nod, unwilling to let go of your grip on the back of his t-shirt even as he pulls away, and say, “Am now.”

“Need to talk to you, it’s important,” Bucky says. He escapes your grip with ease, because he’s huge and strong and it’s easy to forget that when he softens for you. He sits at the booth and you slide in across him, watching as he downs the rest of the straight whiskey in his glass like its water. That bad feeling is back, like back at Steve’s tattoo shop, but you don’t want it here. You fumble for Bucky’s hand across the table, and he lets you hold it but it doesn’t stop the dread settling heavy in your gut. You squeeze his fingers tighter, just in case.

“Is everything alright?” you ask. “Are we- did the cops find out-“

“No, no,” Bucky says, shaking his head down at the table. His gaze catches on your intwined fingers, the glint of his signet rings in the dim bar light, and says, “The cops aren’t the problem.”

“But there is a problem,” you say, and now Bucky raises his eyes to look at you.

“I need to tell you something, it’s important” Bucky says, again, and the dread rises from your stomach like bile to your throat. “You have to understand this, so you can see that I’m not- that this isn’t just-“

“Bucky.” He lets out a ragged breath as you cut him off mid ramble, scrubs a hand through his hair. You hate the way your voice wobbles when you say, “You’re scaring me.”

You almost make yourself laugh as those words leave your mouth. This scares you? Bucky, frustrated and nervous and clinging to your hand like a lifeline, but when he walked over lifeless bodies he sunk bullets into with a giant rifle on his back - that was just fine.

“You know when we were at Steve’s, and we were talking about Hydra? About Rumlow? Do you remember that?” Bucky asks. He stares at you like he’s imploring you to say it for him, whatever it is he’s struggling to say, but you don’t understand.

You nod slowly and say, “Natasha said Rumlow had it out for you. You said Hydra is your biggest rival.”

“Yes, right,” Bucky says, nodding a bit manically. He’s still gripping your hand tight. “Rumlow hated me, and as far as we can tell - or Nat, I guess, she’s been looking into it - he was acting on his own, to get to me.”

“That’s good, right?” You don’t feel sure, with the way Bucky is acting and looking at you all glassy-eyed. “No big gang war, or whatever.”

“I need you to understand why Rumlow hated me, because it’s not just- it wasn’t just about him, ok?” Bucky says, and now he’s looking around the room like that night in your office. Casing the bar, looking for exits. “He’s dead, but none of this died with him.”

“What is ‘this’?” you ask, and wonder for the first time, do I want to find out?

“The first time I met Rumlow was in the hospital, a couple of days after I got back from Afghanistan,” Bucky says. “I’d been honourably discharged, my arm was all fucked up and fried from a chem bomb and I lost all sensation in it so they sent me home. I remember I was lying in the bed looking out the window, and it was snowing. I hadn’t been anywhere but a desert in so long and I was like, what do I do know? I don’t own a coat anymore. I’m a black ops sniper, that’s not exactly a transferrable skill - can’t even put it on a resume because it’s classified. My arm’s fried and ugly lookin’. I’m fucked.”

“You must’ve been so scared,” you say. Bucky meets your eyes, and you can see it haunting him in the back of them - so much heat and fire and pain left behind, so much cold and unknown and pain lying in front. Your dad has told you a similar story, when he came back from Iraq, and he had the same look in his eyes Bucky does right now.

“I was,” he says, and you squeeze his fingers. He looks towards your hands again and says, “I was, and they knew it.”

“Hydra,” you say, and you know you’re right. Bucky nods anyway.

“Rumlow came into my hospital room and told me, Hydra helps guys like me. They helped him and look - he’s got a job and money and friends and a team again. A purpose. But I said no. I’m black ops, I know shady guys when I seem ‘em and Rumlow reeked of it. Just, Hydra doesn’t like being told no.”

“They target vulnerable, traumatised vets in hospitals?” you ask, disgusted. You can taste the hate that boils up, and that ugly, angry part picturing Bucky lying in a bed so alone and afraid and imagining someone like Rumlow trying to take advantage of him like that - that ugly part says I’m glad he’s dead.

“They’re highly trained and easily moulded,” Bucky says in way of answer, and you shudder at the thought. “But seem Rumlow failed and it was my fault. He failed over and over again every time they sent him to recruit me. So he hated me, and then I started the Commandos with Steve and Sam and Nat to target them. The only way to save the next poor bastard like me from ending up with Hydra is to end them, except there ain't a cop in the city who can touch them.”

“But you can,” you say, and you know it’s stupid but your heart has never been known as terribly smart, so you add, “Bucky, that’s dangerous.”

He smiles, small but it’s there, and he rubs his thumb over your knuckles as he says, “I know, doll. I don’t know if you know this about me, but stupid’s kinda my thing.”

“Very funny,” you say, rolling your eyes at Bucky’s cheeky grin now splitting his face. As quick as it came, though, his smile dies and so does the small spark of hope that maybe this story has a happy ending.

“I’ve made Hydra my enemy and I can’t change that. I don’t want to,” Bucky says, nodding solemnly at his own words and you watch him physically turn cold, stony and distant in the space of a second. “But that means that as long as Hydra is around, they’re going to be coming after me. First Rumlow, but it won’t stop there. They’ll come and keep coming and what if, one time, I don’t get there in time? Or you don’t get to leave your phone on, or even make it to a location before they shoot you in the back of the car?”

“No,” you say. You’re not stupid, you know where this is going and just- no. Bucky is being deliberately harsh, speaking loud and unfiltered to try and make it easier to do what he’s about to do but you won’t let him. That dread turned bile has now turned into straight, acidic fire pumping through veins and it hurts.

Bucky smiles faint and sad, says, “You said it yourself - it’s dangerous no matter what.”

“That's not what I meant,” you say, shaking your head vehemently, wildly, as if you can physically shake Bucky of this stupid idea and the actual pain you’re in just entertaining this conversation. “You know that’s not what I meant, what are- you asked me to stay, Bucky. You asked me, and now you want-“

“I know, I know,” Bucky says, tugging your hand close to him now but it’s your turn to try and pull away, albeit unsuccessfully. “I know and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, but you almost died. Do you understand that? They would have killed you, and the only reason is me.”

“That’s such bullshit,” you say, trying and failing to pull your hand free of his grip but he isn’t letting go now and the death-grip he has on you, tethering you to him even as he pushes you away, makes your eyes sting with ugly tears.

“It’s not,” Bucky says, so sad, and you just want to kiss that guilt away for him even still, even as your heart is breaking under his fist. “You will always be in danger until the day comes where I can’t protect you, and I won’t do that to you. I can’t, I can’t be the reason you get hurt.”

“You can’t protect me if you’re not around,” you say, so soft you can barely be heard over Joey’s house music but honestly, you might as well be completely alone for how little you care about the bar around you.

“The safest place for you is away from me,” Bucky says, and that makes you laugh. Humourless, fucking painfully, but you laugh and Bucky glares so dark you’re reminded of the look in his eyes when he stared down at Rumlow’s body bleeding out on the ground. Through gritted teeth he says, “You think I would do this if there was any other way?”

“There is another way,” you say, glaring right back. “There’s not being a coward about it, Bucky. You lead a dangerous life, I get it. Believe me, I fucking get it, and I chose to stay. Ok? I wanna be here anyway, so why does my choice not matter to you? Is this some stupid excuse to get rid of me?”

“Don’t say that,” Bucky all but growls, and you should be scared. He’s scary, Bucky is dangerous by his own admission but you refuse to be afraid of him. Even when he’s trying to force you to be, holding your hand too tight and dragging you around the booth so he can pin you to the seat and you both know the only way you can move is if he lets you. As if he thinks he can scare you away from him, if he can’t reason you to go.

“I don’t care how dangerous it is,” you say into his seething face, inches from yours, teeth bared in a truly terrifying snarl as he pins you to the leather in a show of strength that will leave bruises tomorrow. “I don’t wanna be away from you.”

For half a moment, you really think Bucky is going to hit you. He moves so fast, and you’ve never seen his face look like that - hurt and angry and upset and half-insane all at once. But he just presses his forehead to yours, closes his eyes and breathes you in, and for another half a moment you get to think, maybe he’ll change his mind.

“You’re all I want,” Bucky breathes, so soft and quiet you almost don’t hear him if it wasn’t said almost directly into your skin. “But that’s selfish.”

“I don’t care,” you say, like a mantra now, or a prayer. Just hoping he’ll hear you, “I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care.”

“You should,” Bucky says, and pulls away from you just as fast as he came in. “I won’t be the reason you end up dead.”

Bucky sits before you like a solid brick wall - unbreakable, immovable, cold and blank. His eyes are shuttered from you and you know there’s no way to get to him now. There’s nothing else you can say. If you aren’t enough for him to push past his fear and love you anyway, nothing you say is going to change his mind. Just because you know it’s true doesn’t mean it hurts any less, though, as you sit there boxed in by this menacing stranger looking at you in a way you never want to be looked at again. Like he already doesn’t know you. Like you’ve already been forgotten.

“This was always gonna happen, wasn’t it?” you ask, more to yourself than to Bucky. You laugh at his silence, the flat set of his mouth and clenched fists on his thighs. Maybe if you never went to that first party at Natasha’s house and remained at arms length, sneaking out his window and never staying the night, then maybe you could’ve had him just a little bit longer. But you didn’t, and now you’re hurt in a way you’ve never been before. Your dad never prepared you to survive a pain like this.

You slide out the other side of the booth, tripping slightly as you climb to unsteady feet. It’s hard to see through unshed tears but you don’t bother looking back at Bucky still sat in the booth. You weave through people just as fast as when you came in, but for the opposite reason now - you can’t leave behind this dim-lit bar painted with the gorey tatters of your heart fast enough.

When you emerge onto the street you know Bucky has followed you, his hulking presence palpable behind you as you stand on the sidewalk and try and calm your rapid heartbeat. You’re surprised its still beating with how much it hurts, especially when Bucky places a hand on your shoulder and cracks your heart neatly in two. He says, softly under New York traffic, “Let me drive you home. Please.”

Instead of asking why, why does he care, why does he want to, if the safest place is away from you then leave me alone, what you say is a mildly whiny, “You don’t know where I live.”

“I’ll put the address in my phone,” Bucky says, calm and low as if to placate you but you’re well past that point now. You’re crying openly on the street like a lunatic as Bucky gently takes your hand and leads you towards his bike, manhandles you onto it, clicks a helmet on over your head. It feels cruel for him to be this soft after so ruthlessly tearing you apart, but you suppose it’s better than being left alone in the street like he never cared at all.

When you pull up to your apartment building Bucky kills the engine and leans in close to you before you have a chance to jump off and run away. You think, surely he’s not about to kiss me right now and you really hate the part of you that hopes he does, but he doesn’t. He just leans in close and whispers into your helmet, “They could be watching your place, after what happened. I’m so sorry.”

You close your eyes. Bucky’s right, this will never stop, but that doesn’t mean you want to face it alone. Your whole life has been carved out for you only, but just once you thought maybe you could live it with someone else. That’s not a life for you to have, it seems, so you take a deep breath through snotty tears and nod, say, “I can handle it,” because you know you can. You’ll have to.

“I think-“ Bucky starts but falters, bites his lip blanched white before continuing, “They might leave you alone if you make it clear I’m not in your life anymore.”

“You can’t ask me to do that,” you say, and all the resolve you just gathered is shattered as instantly as you found it. You’re crying again because fuck, nothing has ever hurt like this has, from the inside where you can’t find it or heal it or stop it so it just sucks the life out of you one painful second at a time.

“You have to, honey,” Bucky says, and you want to punch him for it. The way he talks to you like he loves you, like he cares, but he can’t if he’s making you do this. Break your own heart to save his. “Scream at me, send me away. They won’t need to target you then.”

“You’re cruel,” you say, pulling away from him. You don’t want to touch him anymore, can’t stand to be this close so you trip off the bike and stumble down the street. Bucky stares after you, his own eyes teary and face screwed up in genuine pain. It could never compare to the sick feelings in your stomach as you take a deep breath and scream, “Go away, Bucky. Fucking leave me alone and never come back or I’ll fucking kill you, you hear me? Fuck off, and don’t come back.”

You can’t help the sob that rips from you, threatening to buckle your knees and break you right on the sidewalk. Bucky is looking at you like you’ve just stuck a knife in his chest but he asked you to, he keeps asking and taking and it’s always you that ends up hurt. You leave him on the street, stumble up the stairs to your apartment and sink to the floor as soon as the door clicks shut behind you. It’s dark in your apartment, nothing but streetlights outside casting shadows on furniture he never touched, but it still feels like he’s haunting you just the same.

Bucky’s bike revs to life and he tears away, the sound ripping straight through and down the street. It leaves you hollowed out, a burnt-through husk curled up on your hardwood floor. You know you’ll never hear that sound again.

****

For your entire life it’s always been you against the world. The only person you could ever trust is yourself, the only one who’s going to look out for you is you and you can’t remember a time where you didn’t think this way. Maybe it’s nature, maybe it’s nurture, but it’s how you’ve always seen the world.

However, you’re only now starting to feel what being truly alone is actually like.

Bucky’s contact lies open on your phone, but you don’t press call. You won’t. He pushed you away for your own ‘safety,’ for his own fear, and you’ll have to learn to live with his choice. Even though you still love him and always will, you can’t have him and you’ll just have to be ok with that. So you leave this contact photo up on your phone, resting on your coffee table beside your open laptop. You’ve got the input feed of the bug you planted in your dad’s kitchen open, chunky headphones on, scrolling through the audio from the past few days since you’d last seen him.

Your heart is broken by the first man you’ve ever let into your life and the only other person who knows you and who you trust, you’re currently spying on. Now, for the first time, you truly have no one left.

Focusing on work has always been an escape for you, and even when your life is in pieces around you and your heart looks no different, work still pulls through. Even if that work is your own father and the inane conversations he has with himself about the baseball teams on TV, or the calls he makes to his vet friends, or the late-night renditions of ABBA songs you remember well from your childhood. A file lies open on your coffee table with your father’s name on it and pages of notes you’ve made from nearly one hundred hours of audio recordings. You hope beyond hope that you’re just paranoid, and that this time when you go digging you don’t find anything at all.

The only thing you’ve noticed so far is your dad makes a lot of phone calls. They’re long, with a lot of names thrown around you don’t recognise as being his friends or anyone from work he’s mentioned to you before. You write them all down to look up later, but you’ve got to go meet a client so you shut everything down and collect your notes in the file. You hide them, just in case, and grab your leather jacket before you leave. You still have rent to pay. The world goes on around you despite everything being turned upside down, almost as if Bucky never happened at all.

You leave via the back of the building, to come out onto the street closest to the subway station. Usually smokers hang out around there so you aren’t surprised to see two men leaning against the wall, but you are surprised when they star following you down the alley. At this point you’re an old hand at being followed, and the petty part of you brain thinks in Bucky’s direction, see? Doesn’t matter if you’re here or not, dumbass. You sigh to yourself and plan to give them the run around once you clear the alley, but you don’t get a chance to.

From behind you hear a couple of solid thunks, a groan, a muttered curse from one of the men and then one final thunk before silence. You turn around, half afraid of who you’re going to meet once you do and half annoyed because you think you might know who it is. Sure enough, standing there in her leather jacket and a rusted metal pipe from the dumpster in her grip, is Natasha.

She blows a stray strand of hair out of her face and says, “Fancy seeing you here.”

“So he’ll break up with me but will still have me followed,” you say, folding your arms over your chest. Natasha shrugs and you mutter, “Figures.”

“I am always the first to say James is an idiot,” Natasha says, twirling the pipe like a baton in her delicate hands. She grins at you and says, “James is an idiot.”

“I’m aware,” you grit out, glaring at the red-head. “What are you doing here?”

“Making sure you don’t end up as Hydra mince-meat,” Natasha says, “What does it look like?”

“Doing whatever Bucky says even when it’s stupid,” you say. Natasha doesn’t like that, her bright grin dropping into a scowl as she steps up to you. Small, but with a clearly lethal weapon in her hands if the unconscious bodies behind her are anything to go by, she jabs the tip of the pipe into your chest and forces you a step backwards.

“James always has good intentions, even if his logic is sometimes flawed.” She drops the pipe, letting it clang to the floor between you as if to punctuate her saying, “Besides, James didn't tell me to do anything. I volunteered.”

“Why?” you ask, sneering slightly. “I think we both know you don’t trust me, or like me, and you make it very hard to like you.”

Natasha smiles at that, and you hate the face she makes every time you say something she ‘approves’ of - condescending, like she doesn’t expect you to have brain cells and is surprised every time you do. She says, very solemn despite the smile in her eyes, “I owe you.”

That makes you pause. Instantly, like you’re right back in that bar. You can see her groaning body struggling to stand after being thrown into a wall. Rumlow pointing a gun at her back, the blood-thirst emanating off him in waves. Your own hand, as if detached from your body, flinging the knife across the room into his neck before he can put a bullet in Natasha’s.

You swallow thickly, shake your head and say, “No you don’t.”

“I do,” she insists. She steps forward with her hand out, beckoning her fingers like she wants you to hand her something. You just stare at her empty palm for a few seconds before she clicks her tongue and says, “Phone.”

You hand it over without thinking, which was definitely stupid. But Natasha just types away quickly before giving it back and you see you have a new contact with her name attached entered into your phone.

“If you ever need anything,” she says, and taps your phone screen with her nail, “call me.”

It was only minutes ago you were sitting on your couch scrolling through audio from your tapped father’s kitchen thinking you’ve never been more alone in your life. Yet here you are, looking at a helping hand outstretched from the last person you expected it to come from. Your fingers shake slightly as you tuck your phone into your back pocket, and Natasha smiles at you like she understands.

“Thank you,” you say, and you hope she knows you genuinely do mean it.

Natasha nods, then says, “Get out of here, alright? I have to clean this up.”

You suppose that’s Natasha speak for ‘your welcome,’ so you leave her to it. The whole client meeting you can’t focus properly, too busy trying to decide if you feel safer or more afraid at having one of the scariest women you know watching your apartment. By the end of the day, your conclusion is that if Natasha is going to be in your life, its probably best she’s on your side rather than against it.

When you get home that afternoon there is no sign of the two guys Natasha knocked out, nor is she anywhere to be seen. You can’t help but feel watched, though, as you enter your building and climb the stairs. She’s a busy woman and you know she can’t be watching you all the time but you still feel her green eyes on the back of your neck - its not an altogether uncomfortable sensation. That’s something to unpack later, you think, as you collapse on the couch.

You try to resist, but as soon as you sit down and close your eyes the urge to forget about the case you’ve just taken on and look into your own hunches grows too strong. You get up again and fish out your dad’s file again from your hiding place, bringing it back to the couch to flip open. The list of names you’ve been compiling is at the top, scribbled in messy handwriting as you listened to your dad’s one-sided conversations. You tallied up how many times the same name had been mentioned and in what context, however it had been hard to decipher what your dad was talking about with only half the story.

You decide to go looking into the most mentioned name - more of a title, really. Somebody your dad calls Chief shows up in almost every single conversation he has over the phone, and when you were going through the audio it dredged up some strange, suppressed childhood memory. You used to hear him talking to guys downstairs when you were doing your homework, and you always thought he called them ‘chief’ as a nickname or weird, macho term of endearment like how kids in your class would call each other ‘bro’.

Maybe, he was only talking to one guy. You were going to find out.

Starting at your dad’s job, you scroll through their website and LinkedIn profiles to find any link to the name ‘Chief.’ He works as a security guard for a chain of clubs in the city so you are doubtful, and sure enough nothing really comes up to peak your interest. Your dad really only has one other major outlet to look into and that’s the VA, so you have to swallow past the dirty feeling of investigating suffering vets and start scrolling through the website for the Brooklyn VA group attached to the medical centre.

It’s all wholesome stuff and nothing of interest to your snooping at all until you get to a photo gallery from four years ago. It’s dedicated to commemorating the Brooklyn VA and New York Police Department workshop day promoting mental health for vets and servicemen. There are a bunch of photos of group activities and the lunch put on by the VA, and you spot your dad in a couple of them. You’re about to click off when you find one where your dad is posed with another vet and a very official, very dressed up cop. Nothing you haven’t seen at least forty of before in this gallery, but it’s the caption which makes you pause.

It reads, Some of the Brooklyn VA’s finest with NY Chief of Police. It has to be a coincidence, the man’s job title and nothing more. He’s tall, broad, with sandy blonde hair turning grey under his police hat. There are more medals than you can count pinned to his uniform and even in this grainy photo you can tell he would squash your dad like an ant if he gave the Chief of Police a reason to. You’ve never paid attention to this before, steering clear of cops whenever you can, but you find yourself googling him as soon as you can pull yourself away from his mile-long stare.

As soon as the NYPD profile on the Chief of Police loads, your blood turns to ice. You want to say you’re crazy, you’re crazy, you’re paranoid, but name one time your paranoia had led you wrong? Two strange coincidences don’t happen back to back, no matter how disconnected they may appear. Two worlds you never thought you would know, let alone be watching them collide, stare up at you from your computer screen. You can hear Steve’s voice like he’s sitting right next to you, saying “It is strange we haven’t heard anything from Pierce,” and right under a professional portrait of the Chief of Police is his name burning into the back of your eyelids - Alexander Pierce.

You shove your laptop onto the coffee table and stand, pacing back and forth in front of your couch. Scraping a hand through your hair and pulling half of it out of your head in the process, you try to reason your way out of connecting these dots. They’re barely dots, their echoes of dots - so your dad took a photo with the Chief of Police four years ago and he refers to someone he knows as ‘Chief’ as a nickname and Steve mentioned Pierce was someone in Hydra and the Chief of Police happened to be named Alexander Pierce. So what, right?

“Ok, ok, ok, ok,” you say to yourself, rushed and manic. You’ll just ask your dad. He’s your dad, he was never supposed to hide anything from you so why would he start now? If you just ask he might-

You don’t get to finish your thought. Three loud knocks ring through your empty apartment, your doorbell chiming impatiently straight afterwards. You stare at the door with your heart in your throat, long enough for them to ring the doorbell again and a loud, male voice to call out your full name. Someone you don’t recognise, yet they know where you live. You approach the door on silent feet and look through the peephole, reaching for the baseball bat you keep behind a pot plant as you do.

Standing outside are two men in suits, one of whom is looming at the peephole and making stupid faces while his college rolls his eyes and attempts to hold him back. Through the door, you ask, “Who is it? What department are you with?”

“I’m Special Detective James Rhodes and this is my partner, Special Detective Tony Stark,” the unimpressed cop says, elbowing his colleague out of the way who is still trying to look through the wrong side of the peephole. Holding up a badge and gesturing for his partner to do the same, Detective Rhodes says, “We’re with the FBI, ma’am.”

“Shit,” you say, before realising you said that out loud. Your hand feels numb where you grip your baseball bat tightly, and you decide in that moment you have to be dreaming. No way has the events of the past fifteen minutes taken place.

The guy who must be Detective Stark laughs and says, “Shit is right. Let us in, ma’am, we need to ask you some questions.”

You look back at the coffee table laden with copious notes on your father and your open laptop, Chief of Police Alexander Pierce’s face staring back at you. An omen, you think, but it would be even more suspicious if you asked them to wait to clean everything up. Your heart-stopping, life-changing, maybe-discovery will have to wait.

You slide off the chain and unlock your deadbolt, opening the door for the two FBI agents. They walk in without another word, and it really hits you then. It doesn’t matter what Bucky does now, if he leaves you and never comes back or if he never left at all - you’re in this, now. And now you’ll pay the price.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader fic #bucky x reader fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky fic #reader insert fic #pov fic #biker!bucky #biker!bucky au #biker au #avengers fic #marvel fic #bucky barnes #natasha romanoff #11 hours #heheheheeeee

523 notes · View notes

starr-fall-knight-rise · 4 years

Text

Humans are Space Orcs, “Fifteen Seconds.”

Warning: For graphic depictions of injury that are sort of gross

The senator's son lay on the cold hard floor of the brig. The tears had long since tried up and the abject terror of his situation had faded to a dull sense of panic. He lay on the ground, arms wrapped around his knees rocking back and forth as he stared at the wall.

He hadn’t meant for any of this to happen.

Maybe if he had just listened to his father, listened to his mother too and not taken the shuttle for a weekend gambling trip on the Tesraki home planet, maybe then he wouldn't be in this predicament. Maybe if he hadn’t gotten so drunk he would have seen them coming and been able to defend himself.

He squeezed his eyes shut, imagining all of his friends passed out back at the casino, probably unaware that he was missing.

He looked down at his pathetic body covered in a flashy white suit and blue undershirt that had originally been designed to mirror the twenties for his outing, now it was rumbled and torn at the bottom, and his jacket was missing. He felt silly and stupid.

He wanted to go back home to the family mansion where it was safe and where the house staff would bring him breakfast in bed. He would have done anything, even tell his father that he was right, and that he’d behave. hell , he would even be happy to go to military school like his father had threatened on so many occasions. Anything to be away from where he was right now.

There was a rattling outside his cell, and he looked up to see two of the pirates standing outside his cell, the first the dark furred tesraki and the second a light-skin redheaded human with a crooked grin and bad teeth. He curled up further into the corner with a whimper. The human laughed, and the Tesraki flicked it’s ears, “not so cocky now are we Master Bauer.” he curled up with his head in his his hands and stifled a sniffle.

The other human laughed. It was an ugly sound.

“We have just sent word to your father Ten million credits for the safe return of his poor son, and no involvement with law enforcement or we shoot you out of the airlock.” The Tesraki leaned against the bars, “personally i want the money, but.” he jerked a thumb back at the read headed human, “Terry here wants to shoot someone out the airlock, so you better hope daddy comes through, or you will be experiencing a horribly painful death.” “Actually, it is likely he would pass out after 15 seconds and asphyxiate.” the human added

The Tesraki glowered at him but continued on, “ANYWAY. We will leave you to your moping while we go wait for your father’s ransome. If he loves you enough he probably wont take too long. That is assuming that you were a good son and hes not GLAD that you got kidnapped by pirates.” The Tesraki looked at him thoughtfully, “Then again I am having my doubts. You are a little shit.”

Pier had to stifle a sob covering his mouth with his hand as the pirates laughed and turned away.

He begged his father silently to send the money, though doubts were beginning to weasel their way into his mind. He wasn’t a particularly good son. He had crashed multiple of his father’s vintage cars, stolen his new however car and wrecked that. He had brought police down on their family for drug charges, and forced them to pay thousands of dollars on court bills. He had lied and cheated and stolen He had maxed out seven credit cards, and his latest stunt had involved stealing his father’s shuttle to take his friends from private school out on a all expenses paid gambling trip to the Tesraki homeworld, where the age limit on both drinking and gambling was…. Well there was none.

He sobbed again, feeling his heart sink and knowing that his father would not come for him.

Why would he want him back after all the things that he had done.

Once upon a time it had all seemed like some big game, but now he could see that his past actions would be more than enough to guarantee his horrible and painful death.

Tears began to stream down his face again, and he was almost surprised to find that he had any left to give. No one was there, so he didn’t feel bad about his pathetic sobbing, and occasional whimpering for his mother. Maybe she could convince his father to come after him. Despite all the things he had done, he always had a good relationship with her. He admitted to himself now that he had used her love on multiple occasions to get him out of things he probably should have suffered as punishment, but despite that he knew their relationship was sound.

Please mother, please convince father to get me out of this.

He lay there in the darkness for who knew how long thinking about his parents and repeatedly begging them over and over to come save him. At first he expected the Tesraki to come in at any moment and release him into the waiting arms of his father’s security detail, but as the hours wore on, and the meals began to pile up by the door, his hope faded diminishing until he was dumb inside and knew that his father was not coming for him.

He had brought this on himself by being a horrible son, and he was going to suffer the consequences.

He fell asleep sometime during that night tears still wet on his face, only to wake up a few hours later to the sound of shouting and running footsteps. He sat up and tilted his head to the side listening as, in the distance, he heard the sound of gunfire, and the occasional body dropping to the floor.

He shifted and wobbled to his feet, walking over to the side of his cell and peering out with bleary eyes crusted with salt.

The screaming and yelling grew louder, but with one last loud BANG, everything seemed to go silent.

Then the voices started up again.

He leaned forward and thought that he heard the red haired pirate laughing in the distance.

He had no idea what was going on, but pressed himself further against the bars, trying to peer out into the hallway.

Things calmed down after that, and he was left alone again.

He was just beginning to doze off to sleep, when the door to his cell was violently thrown open, and the Tesraki came marching into the room a look of absolute rage on his face.

Pier scrambled back into the corner of the room eyes wide as Terry followed behind. The man had a bandage on his cheek, and a gauze patch over one eye. His usual crooked grin had been replaced by a snarl of annoyance and anger.

The Tesraki stopped just before Pier, his fuzzy little hands balled into fists, “You…. you little bastard.”

Pier raised his hands as if afraid he was going to be struck, “I...I didn’t do anything.”

The Tesraki ignored him, “Your father could not follow one SIMPLE order, and now I am going to have to make an example out of you. The money would have been nice, but now Terry is going to get to live out one of his childhood fantasies”

Terry’s grin appeared again, and Pier screamed as the man reached forward and hauled him violently to his feet by the back of his shirt. He kicked and screamed and cried as he was dragged from the cell and out down the hall.

“I told your father not to get the authorities involved. I told him that if he loved you, than he was going to have to send the mone and forget any of this ever happened, but NO the man had to go out and do something stupid, and now we are all oing to come out with less because of this. I am going to lose ten billion and he is going to lose his only son.”

Pier screamed and tried kickin at Terry’s legs, which finally annoyed the man enough that he slammed pier up against the wall, a single massive hand clutched tightly around his neck. Pier tried to scratch as the man’s hands but he was rammed back against the wall until he saw stars.

His legs went limp and he was dragged the rest of the way down the hall.

“There is no use in fighting my dear boy. You are going to die in a way that not many humans have had the privilege. I think it might be less than a hundred. Either way it isn’t going to be pretty. Assuming there is air in your lungs those will probably rupture first, so you will suffocate, and then all the gasses will boil out of your blood because of the reduction in pressure. Sort of like getting the beds but very quickly. You will die very very quickly.”

Pier felt another sob coming on.

“I imagine that it is one of the most terrifying ways to die, staring up tat the stars overhead and underneath, exposed to temperatures below 400 degrees. Granted heat leaks out of your body slower in the vacuum of space so it actually isn’t the cold that is going to kill you surprise surprise.”

The Sick Tesraki Bastard seemed to be enjoying this, which Pier didn’t understand. He had plenty of Tesraki friends who he enjoyed hanging out with and while they tended to be a little bit greedy and weren't above counting cards, they would never think about killing someone in cold blood.

They made their way around the next corner, and into the docking bay where the rest of the crew was standing, and he was surprised to find another unfamiliar face, another prisoner.

At least that is what he assumed considering the man was kneeling on the ground with weapons pointed at his head.

Pier was thrown down next to the man as the pirates conversed among themselves.

He took the time to turn his head and look over at the other prisoner. The man turned to look at him and somehow managed a roguish and nonchalant smile, his blind hair sticking up in spiky tufts where drying blood caked through it.

The man was dressed in a dark black undersuit designed to be worn with a space suit though the hood was down, and over his right eye he wore….. And eyepatch.

Pier’s eyes widened, and the corner of the man’s mouth twitched, “Ah, good to see you alive.”

“Y-your the guy from that movie.”

The man rolled his eyes, “yeah, I am the guy from that movie, but more importantly I am here to rescue you.’

Pier stared at him incredulously, and he felt his face go red with subtle anger, “Well you're doing a bang up job.” He snarled, “really, I am sure this is JUST how you planned it.”

Rather than looking offended or worried the man just shrugged, “No, no it actually went horribly wrong about two hours ago. Sort of one of those if it can go wrong it will go wrong things. Like it was a great plan and all but everything kind of went to shit all at once.” He glanced down to inspect his nails, “I was supposed to be able to get on the ship and sneak through to rescue you without any issues, but my suit malfunctioned and then my weapon malfunctioned and then the maps for this place were completely wrong, and etc etc. You know good times. Of course, I called in my crew for backup, but they probably won’t be here until it’s too late.”

Pier stared at him mortified, how was he so calm!

“Did my father send you?”

“Yes the Senator did send me.”

“And now we are both going to die because you fucked everything up?”

The man turned his head and frowned, “So negative. Are you like this all the time.”

“HOW CAN YOU NOT BE NEGATIVE WE ARE GOING TO DIE!”

The man just rolled his eyes, “Will you stop bitching for about five seconds. I am counting on the fact that I have used up all of my bad luck for today and all of my good luck is going to hit momentarily.”

Pier dropped his head into his hands. This IDIOT was going to get them killed. He was so mad at that moment that he couldn’t even cry about it.

“He should have just paid the ransom, not sent some asshole idiot to try and rescue me.” he moaned

Adam snorted, “You think your father has that much money.” He barked a laugh and pier stared at him.

“What are you talking about?”

The man shook his head, “Listen kid, your daddy isn’t exactly good with his money, a trait that you, evidently inherited. He’s about a month away from declaring bankruptcy because guess what, his son keeps racking up a literal shitload of debt, but apparently he pawned off his family jules at some point in there to keep you all going because he doesn’t have the courage to admit it and actually start living below his means.”

Pier stared open mouthed at him, “And he told you this”

“No, but I got suspicious when he didn’t do exactly what you said he should be doing, so I had my team of accountants, Tesraki by the way run the numbers on his net worth and gross income and all of hie expenses. Tesraki are rarely inaccurate when it comes to money.”

“So this is my fault.” He squeaked

The man rested a hand on his shoulder, “Not your fault kid. It's your parents fault for turning you into the manchild version of Veruca Salt.”

He was about to be offended, when their conversion was cut off by the Tesraki who moved forward grabbing the man by the air had tilting his chin back, “Admiral Vir, you know if the GA didn’t have a policy against paying ransom, I would toss the kid out of the airlock and use you instead, but unfortunately you are now both useless to me.”

The admiral didn’t look too concerned as he grinned at the Tesraki, “Yeah sucks to suck for you I guess.”

The Tesraki flattened its ears back against its head, “You seem rather chipper for someone who is going to die in the vacuum of space.”

Admiral Vir shrugged, “You know I’ve honestly had way worse days than this. It doesn’t even reach my top ten if I’m being honest. I would put it somewhere around eighteen or nineteen.”

The Tesraki smiled an evil smile, “Well why don’t we see if we can change that. Terry, throw them in the airlock.”

The big ginger moved forward and grabbed them both by the back of their shirts, hauling them to their feet. Pier screamed and kicked and begged and pleased, but Admiral Vir only put up a token amount of resistance, a sort of glassy smile on his face as he was led towards the airlock and shoved violently inside. The door slammed shut behind them and Pier threw himself at the door screaming and sobbing.

Admiral Vir stood and dusted himself off looking around the room with a half frown on his face.

He tilted his head suddenly and smiled, “Glad to see you guys could make it. Do you mind doing me a favor.”

Pier didn’t pay attention to the rest of the man’s instructions as he continued to scream.

After finishing what he was about to say, Admiral Vir glanced around at the room, and his face lit up with a huge smile as he proceeded to stretch his arms and legs as if he were about to run a 5k, “I have ALWAYS wanted to try this.” Pier was nearly shocked out of his state of panic as he turned to look at the Admiral, who walked over to the nearby wall and used his elbow to shatter the glass on a handheld fire extinguisher.

He pulled it out and looked it over, “You know, there really is no point of keeping a fire extinguisher in the airlock, all you have to do is open the doors and vent the fire into space, but I guess whoever McGyvered this piece of shit together had no idea what they were doing.” He glanced down at it, “I sure hope this thing works”

He pulled the pin just as lights began flashing overhead.

Pier sobbed.

Admiral Vir walked over to him, grabbing him around the arm and looking at him with one hard, green eye, “I need you to breathe out, son.”

“What! Why?”

“Just do it.”

“No you have to-”

He saw the look in the man’s eyes and guessed what was happening too late as he drew back a fist and underhand punched him in the gut so hard he nearly collapsed to the floor, all the wind completely knocked out of him in one loud woosh, and his diaphragm ceased to work.

He couldn't even squeak out his pain as the man grabbed him around his middle fire extinguisher in his left hand hoze in his right.

And then All sound was sucked from the world and he was violently thrown off his feat as they were sucked from the airlock and into the vacuum of space.

His ears ruptured into violent pain as his eardrums were torn apart.

Sheer unadulterated panic set in as stars whirled above him black and dark.

One

He heard nothing, he smelled nothing, he tasted nothing.

He couldn't breathe.

He wasn’t as cold as he thought he should be but death surrounded him on all sides, his body exposed to the direct touch of infinity.

Two

The only thing he could feel was the tight pressure of the Admiral’s Arm around his waist.

Three

He looked up, feeling no sensation against his kin, since there were no air particles for him to move through. Looking up At Admiral Vir’s face, lips pressed tightly together one green eye wide and manic.

Four

His body tingled and the surface of his eyes and tongue began to bubble slowly

They were jolted back again, and a trail of white vapor vented into space below their feet.

Five

His lungs screamed for air, the bubbling on his tongue and eyes increased in intensity.

Six

His skin Hurt.

Seven

He was sure he was going to pass out.

Eight

His entire body hurt.

Nine

Then the darkness passed over them, and his vision was obscured.

They slammed against something hard and then dropped to the floor as gravity engaged.

If he could have screamed he would have.

The light of the stars was blocked out, and though he couldn't hear it, he felt the burst of air across his skin as the airlock was pressurized.

He gasped.

And that’s when the pain hit him, Pure unreal agony. Fire across his entire body

He couldn't see, he couldn't hear.

***

Dr Krill rushed into the airlock with the entire team of medical staff behind him. The two bodies lay on the floor like bloated corpses, their skin mottled a horrible purple red.

There was no way they were alive.

He threw himself down next to Adam, nearly unrecognizable now, and was surprised to find his chest heaving up and down as he was still breathing. He reached up and pulled off the eyepatch as others rushed forward to cut away their clothing.

The mechanical green eye spun to look at him, undamaged by the vacuum of space.

Someone placed an IV while Krill worked eye drops into his real eye and more of the same solution onto his mouth, nose and tongue, so dry it was like sandpaper or worse.

One of the nurses had to leave the room as the mottled skin of the two bodies was too hard to stomach.

“Knock them out.” krill ordered.

Adam wheezed the rehydrating solution doing it’s work on his tongue and throat. Blood trickled from his mouth and nose as the water made its way inside.

“You STUPID stupid man.” Krill snarled at the body, as the mechanical eye rolled back into his head, “Stupid stupid stupid stupid human.”

Granted he knew Adam had had no other choice, but still… only humans could survive in the vacuum of space, but this was the price, the horrible, horrible price.

***

Full body bruising and a couple of stem cell treatments later and Adam was feeling pretty chipper for someone who looks like a cruised corpse. His skin was a light delicate shade or purple unevenly spotted in certain areas, and his eardrums were just beginning to heal with their advanced medicine, so he was like a deff old granny for the moment, but all the same he was doing pretty good.

Granted the same stunt pulled in the movie Titan AE had been way cooler, considering those two hadn’t suffered any of the side effects, but now he could say he survived the vacuum of space conscious and lived to tell the tale.

Which was pretty badass if he did say so himself.

Which, he did.

Smiling, his face hurting. He walked with young Pier down the walkway both of them stiff and soar, walking like the old grannies they were as deff as.

At the bottom of the ramp two very concerned looking parents rushed forward to greet their sun eyes widening in horror at the state of him, mottled purple skin and all.

Adam stopped a few feet away wishing he could go lay down.

The senator looked up at him, “What the hell did you do to my son! Adam shrugged, “Well I stopped us both from dying is what I did, though it wasn’t easy. On the bright side, your son is going to make a full recovery and have an awesome story to tell in the process.”

The senator looked like he was going to lose his damn mind, but the boy cut in, “Dad….” “Yes son, whatever you want, whatever you need?”

He paused, “A nap would be cool and….” He glazed back over his shoulder at Adam, “Maybe military school wasn’t such a bad idea after all.”

Adam grinned and the boys parents looked shocked but turned away as their shiny black car arrived.

He continued to smile as he watched them drive away and didn’t hear Sunny as she came up behind him and rested a hand on his shoulder, “Are you ok.”

He continued to smile, through through his teeth he said, “Once they leave can you carry me inside, my soul hurts.”

***

Humans can survive 15 seconds in the vacuum of space.

We aren’t jealous of this ability.

341 notes · View notes

backtobackbakubabe · 3 years

Text

I am the Alpha Now Part 12

Bakugo X Reader (There’s a bit of smut in the beginning)

Words : 3133

Masterlist

Reader is from America and somewhat of a delinquent with an alpha quirk that allows her to turn into a wolf as well as bond with dogs. She is sent to UA to straighten out her attitude. She ends up in a power struggle with none other than our favorite hot head. Words in Italics are words said telepathically.

You didn’t leave the dorms once that weekend. True to his word Bakugo was there for you the entire time and helped in whatever way he could. He even went out of his way to cook foods that you were craving. And those weren’t the only cravings he satisfied. Your room has become a den of absolute sin. It didn’t matter what you were doing or where you were. As soon as the feeling started to coil in your stomach, the feeling of need, the feeling of desire, he was there. There wasn’t a surface that wasn’t christened at this point. The bed, the floor, the desk, the shower.

Right now was no exception. You had been casually studying for your upcoming finals. There was just something about the way his voice sounded when he corrected you on something. The way his hands looked when they took notes. Your thighs started to press together, and your breathing hitched. You couldn’t hump like rabbits all weekend. You needed to actually study.

Bakugo could tell you were growing uncomfortable, and started to scoot closer to you. You could feel how exhausted he was, no doubt from all of your uh… extracurricular activities. You started to protest when he reached for you but one look from his smoldering red eyes had you squirming. He reached around your waist and pulled you into his lap your back against his chest. His chin rested on your shoulder as his thighs spread your legs open. His voice, softer than usual, vibrating down your neck as he continued to ask you questions. His lips leaving soft kisses in the spot where your neck met you shoulder.

You let out a shaky breath and tried to clear your head, he was asking you a question. What did he say? Can you even remember? Are any of your senses even working right now? When you didn’t answer he bit down on your shoulder, “Come on pup, stay with me. What quirk style is best when going against a villain with an electricity based quirk?”

You yelped but that little bit of pain was enough to boot your brain back up, “Uh… ? An earth style quirk?”

His hand slid across your thigh and entered into your pajama shorts. While his other arm wrapped around your hips. “Good girl, now tell me… What do you do if a villain has a fellow hero hostage but you are outnumbered?” His fingers were tracing your most sensitive area through your underwear making it hard to even think straight. If he wasn’t holding you to him, you would have fallen over.

“T-Technically I’m supposed to wait for back up a-and follow but not engage… but- but.”

Bakugo’s fingers started to slip past the waistband of your underwear, “But what?” Damn that husky voice.

You leaned into him, inhaling his sweet burnt sugar smell, “If it were you… I’d burn the place down to get you back safely.”

His fingers thrust inside of you as he cooed in your ear. “I believe that’s my line pup.” His fingers pump in an out of you while he assaults your neck with kisses. “I’d do anything to get you back. I’d break any rule, I’d burn down the world if it meant keeping you safe.”

Your back arched as you finished on his fingers. Breathing heavy as you slowly came back down to reality. When your head finally cleared you could feel Bakugo kissing the top of your head. “You know I don’t know what I’d do if I had to get through this alone. It would have been torture. I know it’s been more than you bargained for.”

Bakugo’s arm tightened around your waist. “This has been the most exhausting weekend of my entire life… but it’s also been the best. How much longer do you think this is going to last?”

You snuggled deeper into him, “I don’t know, but it dose seem to be slowing down. In the past it’s lasted anywhere from three days to a week. I should be back to a normal level of horny by the time finals start.” Bakugo chuckles and slaps your ass. “I mean not that I’m complaining but it will be nice to get back to reality. I think I’ve started to forget how to behave outside of this room.”

You scoff, “You never knew how to behave to begin with baka.” He started tickling you, ‘What was that? Baka? Who you calling baka? When did you even learn that?”

Between your laughter you pushed away from him, “You literally call me baka like 800 times a day. I asked Kiri. So technically I learned it from you… BAKA” He swatted your ass again before announcing he was going to take a shower and tossing you off his lap and on to the bed like a sack of potatoes.

You had class in the morning and finals started tomorrow. This was the last week of class and then you would graduate and have to make a decision. You pulled up a new tab on your laptop and started looking at available apartments in the area. Your jaw dropped when you saw how expensive they were. Like how in the hell where you ever going to be able to afford that? You then googled to see how much the average low rank hero makes in Japan. Oof. You knew there was no way your parents would help you. You kind of burned that bridge a long time ago.

You wondered if any of the girls would be interested in rooming with you, but then you remembered you hadn’t really made an effort to get to know anyone outside of Bakugo’s small squad of friends.

You groaned as you continued scrolling through the offensive apartment listings. Bakugo came out in a pair of sweatpants toweling off his blonde hair.

“Oi… what’s with the angst. What’s got your panties in a twist?”

“Oh you know… the fact that’ll I’ll be homeless this time next week… just casual things.”

The bed squeaked as he landed on the bed beside you, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

You pointed to the webpage, “These are all ridiculously overpriced. I have absolutely no money to my name. How the hell am I supposed to magically have enough to pay rent… or even a deposit?”

Bakugo shrugged, “Is that it? I had just assumed you’d come live with me?”

Your eyes narrowed, “Come live with you? Like with you and your parents? Who I haven’t even met yet because you insist they’re crazy?”

He flicked you between the eyes, “No dumbass. I’ve told you like ten times that I’m moving into a townhouse with Kiri, Deku, and Todorki.” You rubbed the spot he had just flicked, “Actually no… you haven’t. This is the first time I’m hearing about it. I think I would remember if you told me you were going to live with Todoroki and DEKU? DEKU? You hate him!”

“I… I don’t hate him. I just… it’s complicated. Icy hots dad is paying for it on the condition that we all come work for him for the first year or so after graduation.”

You crossed your arms over your chest in a pout. “Well that’s just great. You already have a job, a place to live, and I would just be a mooch. Does that place even allow dogs. What about Mercy? What if I can’t find a job. I wouldn’t want to take advantage of you guys. I wouldn’t want to be a stay at home roommate either… I don’t know even know how to cook. What would…”

Bakugo slapped his hand over your mouth, “Oi what the fuck. Where did all of this insecurity come from?” He cupped his hands around your cheeks and make you look at him. “I have no doubt you will be able to find a job. You have a badass quirk. I know because I struggle to keep up with you on a daily basis. Second you would never be a mooch. I would have no problem with you being a stay at home roommate, wife, mom, whatever. But I know you and I know you wouldn’t be happy with that. Third…. If they’ll accept four idiot guys with destructive quirks then I don’t think they’d care about a dog.. besides I’m sure there’s like laws that would make it impossible from them not too considering he’s part of your quirk.”

You could feel yourself start to relax into his touch. He was right. You were overreacting. “It’s just a little overwhelming you know? Sure I’ve lived here for almost a year, but I’ve been on campus the entire time. Once I leave it feels… I don’t know more real.”

He ran a hand through your hair, “You’re not having any second thoughts are you? Because I’ll tie you to the bed if I have to. I’m not letting you go back to America.”

You giggled, “Oh you wont let me huh? And who said you could stop me?”

He leaned forward until his forehead touched yours, “Like I said before. I’d break every rule to keep you safe. I’m not above kidnaping.”

You gave him a soft peck on the lips, “You really are getting soft babe.”

He rolled his eyes before laying down and pulling you with him to spoon you, “I am not soft! I just so happen to like you more than most people.”

You poked his chest, “Most people? So there’s someone out there you like more than me? Let me guess? All Might? Kiri? Oh I know it’s Deku isn’t it?” It was his turn to groan, “Shut up about Deku already. It’s bad enough were about to be roommates. Just because I may or may not respect him a little more now, does not mean we are friends.”

Bakugo went to fetch Mercy who had been roaming the grounds of UA. Anything to not be near the two of you while you were in heat. You both ended up drifting off as soon as he returned. Finals exams started tomorrow, and you needed all the rest you could get.

The following morning went as usual. Bakugo would sneak out back to his room while you got ready and then return to walk you to class. You felt so amped up today you were practically glowing with energy. It could have been a result of a good night sleep or the fact that you were getting treated right by your boyfriend allll weekend.

Today’s portion of the exam was written. You knew you aced it. And you only cheated twice. You telepathically asked Bakugo two questions, mostly because you couldn’t remember what the words meant in English. He scolded you but helped you anyways. There was no way you could get caught anyways.

The second and third day were practical exams. A lot of basic fitness and quirk demonstration.

Today was the fourth day and today was it was sparing. It was like a mini sports festival except the only people allowed to come were hero agencies looking for new recruits.

You gave it everything you had, you needed to compensate for the fact that your Japanese sucked and honestly your strategy was a little lacking as well. Bakugo was way calmer than expected, but that was probably because he already had a job after graduation. You both make quick work of your sparring opponents until it was just the two of you left.

You stepped up to your side of the mat, Mercy at your heels, “Go ahead and take a break Mercy… I don’t think I’ll need you for this.”

Bakugo’s smirk took over his entire face, “Oh getting cocky already are we?”

You returned his smirk, “You’ve spent close to a year fighting me, and by now I know all of your tricks.” You took a fighting stance, “Besides now..” “I can get in your head.”

Bakugo if only for a moment paled as you lunged. He avoided you at the least second blasting into the air and sending an explosion in your direction. You wanted to do this as long as possible as a human before shifting. You wanted to prove you were more than your quirk. But unfortunately he was just too damn fast.

You closed your eyes to shift. Bakugo knew what was happening, he had seen it hundreds of times. So he used this to his advantage. He went to tackle you right as you shifted. He ended up getting you in a headlock. You bucked trying to get him off. You were reminded of the first time you spared with him. He had done the same thing. He held you in a headlock until you nearly passed out, ordering you to submit.

Well you had come a long way since then. You went on your hind legs like you were about flip onto your back, but instead you shifted back to normal grabbing Bakugo by the hand and flipping him over you. The second he hit the ground you were back in your wolf form. Pressing your massive paws into his chest. “Damn pup. So you want to play it rough huh? I know you heal fast so don’t expect me to go easy on you…” His palm came up and sent an explosion right into your face.

You yelped and jumped off. You could smell your singed fur and it fueled your anger. You both continued to go back and forth until you were on the brink of exhaustion. You only had one trick left up your sleeve. Something you had been working on in private with some of the others. Something Bakugo didn’t even know about.

“Oi come on pup! You that tired already? Where did all that energy go?”

You had learned that if you focus really hard you can force your alpha authority on other people. It’s very brief, a minute at most. But that’s all you needed. You built up what energy you had left and growled at him, giving it all the alpha power you had. You could see his eyes glaze over for a moment, just a moment, but it was enough. You pounced. “SUBMIT”

Bakugo struggled to clear his head… “I… I..sub..” He slapped himself in the face. “NEVER!”

Before either of you could continue Aizawa stepped out and stopped you, “I think that’s enough you two. I think you’ve proven well enough what you are capable of.”

As soon as you both were out of site and in the gym he pulled you aside to an empty hallway and pushed you against the wall. “What the hell was that pup? I’ve never seen you do that before? That was so fucking cool!” He was kissing you now hands reaching down to pick you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist and deepened the kiss. You would have kept kissing him too if someone hadn’t cleared their throat.

Both of you broke apart and snapped your heads in the direction of the interruption. Of fucking course, it was Aizawa. “Well I came to congratulate you two and remind you that you have interviews tomorrow. Bakugo yours is more of a formality, but y/n… you have multiple offers as well. One of them being with Endeavor. Apparently, word has reached him that you’ll be living with apprentices and there’s no way he’s not going to try and take advantage of that.” He looked really uncomfortable. “I’m only your teacher for two more days so please… for my health and sanity. Keep it in your pants until then.”

You both waited until he was gone before busting out into laughter. Bakugo kissed the tip of your nose. “Looks like we might be working together.”

You took his hand and headed towards the dorms, “We just might..”

The next day was the interviews. There were several rooms set up with different agencies. In the morning you checked in and received your schedule. Bakugo’s interview with Endeavor was right before yours. You both headed that way. Your phone buzzed when you arrived at the door. The previous person was still in there, so you sat there next to Bakugo as he waited and pulled out your phone.

You had an email from an unknown username. Weird.

When you opened it you felt tears well up behind your eyes. You saw pictures and videos from your time as a vigilante in the states. There was even mug shots. Yes plural, you were arrested multiple times. There was a time you weren’t proud of and you did a lot of stuff that sometimes kept you up at night.

The email read,

Dear y/n, We were very impressed with your performance during your final exam yesterday. The way that you not only kept up with but almost tamed Bakugo Katsuki. Now that is something. We did a little digging and we found some very interesting videos of you. We wonder how your boyfriend would feel if he knew about your body count. How future employers would feel if they knew you had a bit of a villainous streak. We’ll make you a deal… In exchange for these videos never being released…. We need you to do us… a favor. Don’t worry about finding us. We’ll find you. Look forward to talking with you. - LOV

Your palms started to sweat. Bakugo nudged you with his elbow, “Hey you okay pup?”

You shoved your phone in your pocket, “Yeah just a little nervous is all.”

He kissed your forehead, “Don’t worry about it, you’ll do great.”

You nodded as the door opened to signal that it was Bakugo’s turn. “Hey babe, did you mean it when you said you’d burn down the world for me?”

He quirked an eyebrow at you, “Uh yeah… why? You planning on doing something stupid?”

You did everything you could to keep yourself from crying, “No of course not. I’ll leave the stupid behavior to you… Good luck in there. I love you.”

He could feel how heavy your mood got but he didn’t have time to think about it as he was being ushered into his interview. It didn’t sit right with him though. In fact, it bothered him the whole time Endeavor spoke to him. He reached out to you telepathically, “Hey are you sure you’re okay?” No response. His heart started to hammer in his chest. “Y/N!” Again, he was met with silence. He reached out to find your location like you had taught him… and you weren’t there. Bakugo jumped up from his seat and threw the door open.

The hallway was empty, but Mercy was still there… “She left me too…..”

****************************************************************************************

TAGLIST: @tspice283 , @realityisoftendisapointing , @imbi-101 , @thoughtfulpandazine2 , @hotarumorikawa , @huh-iwasntpayingattention , @starfishlovingbnha , @weebnumber3622 , @mixedfeeelings , @munchmunch01 , @inumorph @xxoperatexx

#bakugo #bakugo katsuki #Katsuki Bakugō #bhna bakugou #mha bakugou #bakugo x reader #bakugo x y/n #bakugo imagine #mha #mha imagines #mha bakugo katsuki #mha x reader #my hero academia #i am the alpha now

61 notes · View notes

surviving---not---living · 3 years

Text

What the fuck do I do?...

**tw emotional/physical abuse mentions**

posted this on reddit with different ages and such so he wont find it but he doesnt use tumblr so I wanted to post here to see if yall had some suggestions as well any help would be greatly appreciated or to just know someone read would also be enough... with that said I'll paste the post.

to start I'm 23f and the fiance is 38m

I have an idea of what i should do i just sincerely dont want to i dont want to leave him homeless and without money or a job...

but the last few months have me scared and confused...

(during arguments he let's me write down what's happening when I hear something that stands out to me in Hope's itll help me fix my behaviour i got from my parents so ive been able to write down exact wording on some things said) theres just so much going on...

to preface this hes never been physically abusive to me and thankfully it's not there yet. in his defense though i was raised very incorrectly due to shit parents and I have a lot of mental issues that cause self sabotage, delusional thinking- meaning If I personally believe something it usually takes a small war to get my mind to recognize im actually wrong, as well as terrible memory so if I do acknowledge I've done something wrong more often than not my head forgets what happened or what i even did wrong if anything and the next time it inevitably happens again I have no information to pull from to tell me what I did was wrong or why. so basically I'm kind of a fuck up, I'm doing my best to fix my shit but yeah my fiance has been dealing with all of that for 4 years now.

(*some minorly important issues

•he's been interrupting me not letting me finish what I'm saying and just outright changing the topic since we first got together, although wrong of me I started doing that as well because i saw no other way to be able to speak to him except even when I'm doing the exact same shit hes doing it seems like hes the only allowed to be upset.

•we were in an open relationship except he didnt follow the rules we agreed to one time and that broke my trust I had for him. we said no coworkers, we said only people we were both interested in we said no one that's taken and yet all of those got broken over an ugly bitch. and I still get shit for bringing it up to this day.

•he said that until I start prefacing all of my conversations with him he wont count any attempt I've made at talking to him about my problems. so basically everything I've tried talking to him about doesnt fucking matter and it doesnt fucking count. not even when I tried telling him 3 separate times I'm feeling suicidal to top it off everytime i mentioned it, it ended in an argument.

•he told me he got suicidal thoughts for the first time in 10 years due to me and honestly I didnt know how to fucking respond to that. it made me sad yeah but where was the care I needed when I brought up the same thing? where was his give a fuck hes supposed to show if he actually cares about me??

•he says he interrupts me because what I have to say is either false, not grounded in reality, or they're excuses. except he has little to no way of knowing any of that is true unless he hears me all the way out I could be agreeing with him and he still interrupts and gets pissed.

•I believe hes a hypocrite but he says nah hes only doing this because I'm doing bad.

•hes said multiple times that i wont see any improvement in him until he sees I've got my shit together. even though hes the one that caused the first problems in this relationship I'm supposed to be the first one to fix my shit? instead of both of us working on our shit together??? and when I ask those questions he responds with yes you are supposed to be the first one to fix your shit because I'm at the end of my rope and I wont take this anymore.)

but on to why I've been scared. this person told me he used to be abusive with an equally abusive ex for many reasons and after splitting up he vowed to never do that again and never end up like they did.

fast forward to our relationship and well a few months ago he told me he wanted to hit me and made it a point to say he wasnt going to but he really wanted to.

he said that because we were both in my car and he wanted to leave with the car except I wasnt going to get out of MY car so he started yelling, i got scared and left later on he told me that was the first time hes ever wanted to hit me and I should think about what it is I did to get him to that point. after that I left it alone for a month because things got a bit better and then came the next time he said he wanted to hit me. now I dont remember the reason for him saying it the second time but I wasnt going to let that slip as easily as the first so I spoke up about it and what he had to say about me telling him it made me scared of him to know he wanted to hit me was " well if you Weren't a coward, normally when someone says they want to hit you it's a signal that you're doing something so wrong that they want to hit you." and me knowing him i knew this was one of those times he just wasnt going to budge.

so on to the next argument.

he told me I'm the one who thrust those thoughts into him, that I'm the reason they ever came to be, I'm why the exist in the first place. and he doesnt seem to understand when I say that no I'm not the reason your head wants to hurt me they exist there because of your last relationship letting that be an option. he also said he keeps the option of abuse in his head with a line in front of it to remind him to never pass that line and he doesn't understand that keeping that idea in his head at all is not a good thing because now the option is available whether you want to take it or not and

he. just. kept. arguing. and defending.

now on to the last argument.

he says he wants me to stop putting him in a position to do all the thinking and decision making for me, when I've asked him multiple times to stop doing that because I want to do shit for myself and all he keeps saying is show me that you can actually think for yourself and I'll stop needing to do that. like motherfucker at least give me the time to make decisions or thoughts.

I know it's not his fault that I take longer to process things but he knows this fact and keeps expecting me to already have a response half a second later to something I'm barely registering 5 seconds after it happened and again yes I know its something I have to work on and I am but atm it's still an existing issue.

hes trying to call thinking for me and making decisions for me "a gift" (the exact context for him saying this wasnt written down as I was too upset at the audacity of that claim.)

he wants me to show overwhelming efforts to fix my fucked behavioral issues but the efforts I'm putting in atm dont matter to him and that hes hanging on a single thread hes no longer willing to take anything but Absolute compliance(yes he used the actual words absolute compliance) if he doesnt see me losing sleep to figure out and fix my shit he wont be convinced I'm trying. he ended that segment with him saying hes not using these words to control or manipulate me. he says this is a requirement a yes or no and he wont make his decision on whether he wants to break up with me until I say yes or no to his absolute compliance. he said his decision is solely based on my answer and If i say yes i dont get to back off or get out of it.

I also wrote down a quote he said that was just so arrogant i couldnt leave it out.

"You sit before an artisan of problem solving." -my fiance

soo haha yeahh the last argument happened right before going to bed and I started typing this as soon as I got up and finished my hygiene stuff.

I'm pretty sure if he had never told me he'd wanted to hit me this wouldn't be such a difficult thing to answer... I love him and I have no idea if I should pick him and risk any form of my safety or just let him leave me.. he has no job, no money, and no family to go to.. I know he doesnt care about being homeless but I do care..I fucking love him and I dont want that for him not even for a day... as shitty as he and I can both be I still dont believe that's what he deserves... if he ever finds this hell be even more pissed that I'm even concerned about what he'll do if he leaves.. he always told me to not care and that if I ever do want to leave him to not worry about that and just get it over with sooner.. thing is I dont want to leave I just want my baby back... the one that didnt yell or didnt want to hit me at all... I want our old relationship back.. I guess I want to know if that's even possible at this point. any words from anyone would be really nice right now.. if only to just feel like someone's talking to me.. my fiance is literally the only person I talk to and the closest thing to a friend I have. and i dont tell my parents any of what's happening because they're stressed enough so I've been basically alone for 4 years with no one but my fiance to talk to..

granted it's my fault I havent made other friends but I've been so stressed recently that I havent done much about it for many reasons..

update: he just finished telling me that hes only had half a burger in the last 3 days, (due to stress) he just wanted to let me know that apparently.

#abusive relationship #tw abuse #mine #relationship #please help me #help #relationship advice #fiancé #couple problems #manipulative #maybe #physical abuse #lost #scared #lonely #what do i do

7 notes · View notes

dadzawa-adopt-dabi · 3 years

Text

Secret Baby Ch23

Dabi wakes up one day to Giran calling to ask him if he can take on an emergency mission. He needed Dabi to go spend a night or two at the League with Jin. Dabi says no at first, citing the agreement he made when he took Dabi on as an employee. Giran simply sends the exact same message back and Dabi knows he’s not truly asking. He doesn't have an option in whether or not he accepts doing Giran a favor. He’s been kind so far, routinely pays Dabi on time and always gives him his full amount of pay. He Can’t afford to lose his job, especially when the price for betraying Giran is higher than he can pay. “Come to the cafe right away, you will be shown straight to the back this time.”

Dabi swipes to mark it as read as texts Kikiyo’s babysitter, a feeling of dread and anxiety building. That’s normal for him though, he chalks it up to growing up the way he did and being on the wrong side of the law.

'You're going to have to find somebody else ‘Dabi.’ I know that’s not your actual name but whatever, Kikyo is obviously a mutant child. I'm not certified for Mutants. She wouldn’t stop screaming last time, I'm sick of the little feathers tripping me up as I try to take care of the other kids.”

Dabi tried to call her, to work something out just for the day as he drummed his fingers anxiously on the counter. Maybe get a recommendation if she wouldn't babysit Kikiyo, someone who was actually certified instead of going through this again. She must have blocked his number after sending the text because the number comes across as out of service. A quick internet search recommends a daycare several miles away from the nearest bus stop. It’s almost twice what he had been paying her. He swears and bites his lip as he rubs at his tired eyes, pacing in the kitchen. Kikiyo cries, scenting her fathers rising distressed scent filling the air. The black haired omega closes his eyes, biting his lip until it bleeds as he calls his mothers number. There’s a chance she won’t sell him out to Hawks or her husband. Slim as that chance is, Dabi isn’t left with any other choices with the trouble he’s gotten himself into and how much he owes Giran.

He can’t tell Giran that he can’t go through with this job. He can't take Kikiyo with him. This mission is coming at an inconvenient time and he doesn't have anyone else he can call to watch her. It’s been long enough, he misses his siblings if not his mother. He was hoping he wouldn’t have to do this. The phone rings and rings, Giran sends another message asking if he is on his way and Dabi sends back a simple no. Dealing with a disappointed or upset giran is somehow worse than calling his mother and he thinks about hanging up the phone and explaining to Giran for a moment that he has a kid and no babysitter. He doesn't know what other explanation he could give Giran that he couldn't disprove in minutes. He’s never been late before, the bus on his routes are suspiciously never late or full. He’s taken note of it before and had just been grateful. Only now does he consider that it may have been the work of his boss.

Maybe he was seeing how far he would go for him. At what point he would choose Kikiyo over his job. He had a job for kikyo, because of kikiyo. Dabi doesn't know the last time he had a moment or thought or action for himself that it wasn't stolen. Kikiyo’s cries turn to screeches as the call gets declined and Dabi’s stomach plummets. He feels sick as he leans against the counter, squeezing his eyes shut against a migraine hard. Redialing Rei’s number, just in case she had been away from the phone and missed the call. “This is Rei todoroki. May I ask who is calling this number?” she doesn't sound like she’s short of breath or in pain. Maybe it’s a good week. She can come and watch kikiyo and they can talk afterwards. Even if she never wanted Dabi, she can want and love her grandchild. Dabi can make peace with whatever he has to for her safety.

“Hey, it’s uh. It’s Touya.” saying his old name feels clumsy. Like an ill fitting coat, it reminds him of a different kind of stress. When he was struggling to be happy for just a few minutes before everything changed and he made plans to never be seen again. Married off to whoever gave enji the most benefits. Nothing but a tool and an object like his mother was treated. Kikiyo had very well saved him from that fate, Dabi isn’t sure how long he would have been able to bear it.

“I, I don’t know if you guys thought I was dead or um. I don't know what exactly you had thought happened to me but I, I had her, your granddaughter. I’m sorry I lied about geting a abortion. I’ve, I’ve been barely making it mom-” He hates doing this. Rei can’t offer him any help and even if she can she won’t. Dabi doesn't want to give up this thing he’s started with Giran. He can just, He needs his mom to watch kikiyo for a few hours. He can make it on his own with just this help from her.

“I can’t give you any money Touya.” she says and Dabi feels a tear dip down his cheek as he realizes her tone never shifted at the realization she was talking to him. Maybe enij reported him as a runaway but they couldn’t arrest him. they couldn't bring him home again because he was over 18.

“No, i. That's not why i’m calling. I need a babysitter.” He feels more tears leak out his eyes and he pokes Kikiyo’s cheek to make the screeching stop.

He places a few crackers in front of her and she’s instantly distracted with the food. Peeping at him every few bites and holding a cracker out for him that he smiles at as he pretends to eat it. Nibbling at her little fingers and forcing himself to smile at her to give his daughter the impression that everything is just fine. Daddy’s just weird sometimes and smells scared when there’s no need for her to worry.

“I have my own job. I just-” He hates begging her for things, she always lets him down and he’s tired of being out of options. “I’m not going to whatever rodent infested place you've landed yourself in to watch your child. Not when you shouldn’t be off partying with some random alpha who I’ve never even met or who never asked us to court you.” Despite the harsh words her tone is dreamy and far off. Dabi knows she’s staring off into space as she speaks on the phone, no clue where he is. Uncaring and someone else will have to dress the kids and feed them tonight, help with homework since he’s not there. She might come back to herself tonight, it's hard to judge over the phone.

“No mom. I’m by myself. The father isn’t in the picture. I told him the same thing I told you.” he panics slightly. She can't process what he’s saying right now, never has been able to. He needs her though. He’s gotten himself so far down in trouble that he can’t get out and he’s comfortable with that until now. “You can come meet your grand baby. She’s wonderfully behaved, I promise. She can just smell me right now and im. I’m scared and alone and i'm in some trouble if i don’t go on this job.” he admits as his eyes widen in panic and when Kikiyo wont eat her crackers and starts crying again he nearly cries with her. Instead he picks her up and bounces her in the air as he holds the phone between his ear and his shoulder. “I said no Touya. I can’t, He would find out. Just like he found out about your clubbing when that young blond man came knocking on the door. Looking for you. Everyone else had to pay for your mistakes because you weren’t here Touya. I refuse to clean up after a child I never wanted. I don’t have a grandbaby or an oldest omega son.” There’s a click as Kikiyo chirps shirlley and Dabi let himself slide down to sit against his counter.

Dabi’s head snapped up as there was a knock on the door. Grabbing Kikiyo and shuffling back away from the door. He glanced towards the balcony door as he held her tightly. They were on the 5th floor, no way he could make it down with her and still manage to run. The missed Call and message from Giran glowed on the screen and he pressed Kikiyo’s face tightly to his chest as he back away down the hallway. Not that it would do either of them any good to hide in the closet, still he pushed the clothes to the side and as he sank to the back shushing Kikiyo he spread them back forward to hide them. He hadn’t even taken his pills recently so he couldn’t hide them, throwing off distressed omega and baby pheromones.

His heart stopped beating as he buried his nose in Kikiyo's hair, clenching his eyes shut and clutching her to his chest as the door rattled and opened, of course Girain had sent someone who could pick locks.

He froze as his bedroom door rattled and a familiar scent met his nose. Kikiyo’s too seeing as how she managed to pull back enough to let out a cry to be picked up. It didn’t matter that Giran had come himself to harm them, that Dabi was terrified out of his mind and uselessly trying to shush her.

“I, I’m sorry Dabi. I didn’t think about how this must look to you.” Giran spoke outside the door. Dabi didn’t dare breath as he heard the rustle of clothes and Giran sat down outside the closet door. Scent deeply sad and like he was trying to comfort Dabi. Old books cigars and coffee the most comforting thing he’d smelled in a long time and the closest thing he’d ever had had to a comforting parental scent.

“Dabi, would. Would you mind coming out here? I can hold her if you wish or you can leave her in there but i think it’s time we talked. About what exactly you plan to do when your a single disowned omega with an infant getting involved in organized crime.” he sighed. Waiting another moment before he stood up and pulled back the door. Pushing Dabi’s clothes out of the way as Kikiyo cried loudly to be transferred to him and Dabi kept his head down, gritting his teeth against literally baring his fangs at Giran and shuffled them back deeper.

Giran let out a heavy long breath before stepping into the closet and sitting down across from them. Wrinkling his suit even further and closing the door behind him. Dabi marginally relaxed as he peered across the dark space at him. He took off his suit coat and placed it behind himself as he held his arms out for kikiyo. Dabi crumbled as he passed her into his arms as she coo’d at him. Patting him on the nose as tears dripped down Dabi’s face, head kept turned to the side as he avoided looking at Giran. Giran held her close and put her near his shoulder like he would burp her. Gently talking to her about how happy he was to meet her and how hard her dad was working to keep her safe. The words ‘I’m so proud of your father’ came out of his mouth and Dabi let out a sob before he managed to shove a mouth over his hand, fliniching back. “Dabi. Come here.” Giran held out his other arm as he comforted Kikiyo and Dabi dove for it. Getting easily pulled into his arms as he sobbed.

He doesn't know how long the 3 of them sat like that, sitting in Dabi’s closet as he sobbed and Kikiyo giggled and Giran held them both.

#thedarkonewrites #bnha #mha #Dabi #Hawks #Dabihawks #omega verse #secretbabyfic #OmegaDabi #AlphaKeigo #DabiHawks

19 notes · View notes

viltrumitesuperboy · 4 years

Text

Luck (Peter Parker x Male Villain Reader)

my line breaks wont FUCKING WORK TUMBLR IS TRASH

Luck is a superpower, you can disagree (respectfully) in my asks. I don’t know how to write “villain” villains, especially for the reader, so you’ll notice that I tend to give the villains a motivation for their actions. They’re typically redeemable.

Requested by: anon since requests are open and i like your writing, id thought id request something. perhaps you can do a spidey x villian reader where the reader and peter are dating but dont know about the others alter ego?

Word count: 2265

"Peter, where's the black pepper?"

"Top shelf!"

You opened the cabinet looking up at the black pepper just barely out of your reach. Even on your toes, your fingers barely brushed the wooden shelf. Turning quickly to check if Peter was still in his room, you extended your arm just a bit and managed to pluck the little container off of the shelf.

"Are you almost done with lunch? You know we have to go to the city today," Peter said, walking into the kitchen.

He was just pulling his sweater down when you turned to look at him, a smile on both your faces.

"Yeah, just salt and pepper for taste. You know how spices work, right?" you joked.

He laughed and hugged your middle from behind, pulling away to grab the plates from under you and bringing them to the table. He started eating right away, his plate always just a little more filled than yours.

"Even now I'm always surprised because I already eat a lot. I don't know where all of that goes," you commented, gesturing to his body.

"My ass," he mumbled through a bite.

You laughed around your own food as he shrugged. Once you both finished, you did your normal elevator vs. staircase race. You had the staircase this time, and you were alone. So if he didn't see you somehow hop down entire flights of stairs without any injury, all was well. You tried to lean against the wall like you had been waiting for him forever, and laughed when he blew a raspberry in your direction.

"Come on, we gotta catch the train," he urged.

He pulled you along until you got outside, both of you walking side by side to the station. The train ride always felt shorter with him, and he got off a stop or two earlier than you did every time. Even with your own extracurricular activities, you wondered if you would ever get to know what he did. You brushed it from your mind. If he knew what you got up to, he'd be upset. He was a huge supporter of the Avengers and similar "hero" figures, and even worked with and for them. You had to engage in crime just to get by. As you entered the building, you looked at the Avengers Tower a few blocks down. You turned away.

---

The sooner you got into your suit, the sooner you could join your companions in robbing the next bank. You knew whoever made the plans would get the most money, so you always planned things before anyone else could think of them. Without it, you wouldn't even be able to pay for groceries. Everyone else had a job, but you were younger and still in school, which made it much more difficult for you and they all understood. Despite the luck you knew you had, life was the one thing that could bring it down.

Just as you all left with bags, you stopped instantly at the sight of Spider-Man leaning against the wall awkwardly, much like you had done earlier that day. You almost laughed, but you had to leave with the money so you kept a straight face.

"So, uh... you guys ever think about the law? It's pretty cool sometimes," he said with an obviously faked confidence.

You pushed the bags towards your team and ushered them to move, swiftly moving towards Spider-Man. He darted to the side as you kicked toward him.

"Missed m- Oof!"

As he tried jumping for the ceiling, you grabbed the back of his suit and yanked him down, thanks to your luck. It left him winded for a few seconds.

"Sorry, dude. Just let me off this once," you said unapologetically.

He groaned as you ran back towards your team, two of them grabbing you into the moving van. The doors shut and you watched Spider-Man through the darkened window, just barely catching a glimpse of your vehicle as it sped away.

"Well, that was fast. Maybe you're right about your luck being a power," one of them snickered.

You hit her with a grumble, turning down to check your phone. A text from Peter said he needed snuggles, and you smiled a bit as you pulled your mask off.

"Is it that kid you're dating again?" she asked, pulling her own off.

"Yeah, drop me off in the area. Leave the money in the usual place and I'll come grab it," you said, beginning to pack your things.

"You got it."

"Thanks."

As you left the van, you waved at them, giving some of them a fist bump as you passed and hopped out of the van.

"I'll figure out our next location."

They waved back and you turned as the van doors shut. You went into the dark alley nearby to change, then walked the few blocks to Peter's apartment. Aunt May greeted you with a hug and a smile, then gestured you Peter who was curled up in a blanket in front of the TV, looking like he stayed up all night despite it only being nine at night.

"What's up?" you asked, sitting next to him and putting your arms around him.

"I feel like garbage and my body hurts," he mumbled into your shoulder.

"Exercising? Did you... fall down the stairs? Stand up after too many hours of playing video games?"

He snorted and pulled away for a bit, wrapping you in the blanket as well. You both laid down, and you took extra care to wrap your arms around his shoulders when he seemed to wince at the movement of his back.

"What exercise did you do?"

"No, I just... I decided to go to the playground with Ned cause there were no more kids there and my internship was done, so I was fooling around and climbing things but I fell on my back."

"Be a bit more careful next time?"

"Okay."

Aunt May was always nice enough to leave you food knowing when you didn't eat. You smiled at her as Peter moved closer to you when you pulled away to eat, and you both laughed fondly at his clingy behaviour. You left a few hours after that to get your money and go home.

---

After another afternoon of your antics, you had decided to run around on the rooftops for a bit. On one of the higher ones, you climbed the ladder quietly to find someone pacing on the edge. You almost reached out to tell them to step away when you realised who it was: Spider-Man himself.

"How does he always get away? And he beats me so quickly? It's like he has really good luck. That's so weird. That's not even a superpower, I think. Oh no, what if it is?!"

He paused as there was a response from his phone, and he sighed as if stressed as he yanked off his mask. You quickly covered your mouth in shock. How careless could any identity-hiding person be to pull their mask off when anyone in a building could look up and see him? At least your face was kind of covered. It was just your hood on and that lame mask that just covered the area around your eyes, but it was enough. His face was covered by his phone, but the messy brown hair made you a little sick when it reminded you of your boyfriend. You were only here because of your luck and your criminal actions. He was probably at his internship being a good, upstanding citizen.

"No, that can't be right. I'll check with Mr. Stark. He'll know."

"Hey."

He screeched and yelled a quick bye into his phone, making the horrible mistake of just shoving it in his pocket as he turned to look at you. Without his mask on.

"Put your mask on," you said, knowing it sounded a bit strangled, but you passed it off as just climbing over the small concrete wall that bordered the top of the building. "You should be more careful, you know?"

"You-you're that guy! I keep running into you! Who are you?"

"Well, that's the question everyone wants to know, huh?"

You walked over to him and plopped down next to him as he sat, his hands playing with his phone that was now back out. Peter did that when he was nervous, playing with anything in his hands. Once it was a book and he somehow managed to throw it and leave a small crack in the ceiling when someone scared him from behind.

"Tell me your secrets. What's got you so stressed about me?"

"What are your powers?" he blurted out.

How Peter of him to just ask right away.

"I'm lucky. Just not lucky in the rest of my life. I don't have enough money to pay rent and sometimes it's not even enough to buy groceries. I have to depend on other people and I don't want to do that. So I'm doing the best with what I can."

"Well, M- uh, Tony Stark has all kinds of internships and charities and stuff. I mean, I work with him so I would know. He could help! And he's always willing to help a superpowered person!"

"Spidey, things aren't that easy. I'm a criminal for a living and things like that don't just slide with most of the population. You tell them why you did it and you'll get consequences. My luck is the only thing keeping my team and myself safe."

"You could try! He doesn't judge and he's still friends with Captain America, who's currently a war criminal. Someone who's a thief isn't a huge problem to him."

"I don't take charity," you stated clearly.

"I mean it! He could really help," he replied.

"Peter!"

He paused entirely. Without the sounds of the cars below and the people speaking, it would have been completely silent.

"How... how..."

You pulled off your mask and your hood, giving him a sympathetic smile.

"I don't... take charity. Especially not from my boyfriend. I'll let you feed me once in a while, but that's the most I'll take. I can't do that to you, and I can't do that to your mentor who has definitely figured out my powers and knows who I am."

He was silent as you put the mask in his hand and stood up.

"You can text me whenever you want."

You left him behind on the roof.

Peter texted you the next morning, telling you to meet him at Stark Tower. You instantly knew that he had talked to Tony Stark about it, and both of them would search the entire world for you if you didn't go. Of course, that left you with the only choice of doing what he said. Peter was waiting for you in the lobby right in front of the building's security.

"Hey! Um, just follow me," Peter said quietly, his voice dying out as he turned to walk.

After an awkwardly silent trip in one of the elevators, he brought you to a large laboratory where sparks flew from the corner of the room.

"Mr. Stark! I brought my boyfriend for you to meet," Peter shouted over the noise.

Tony Stark himself sat up from his work to look at the both of you, his goggles now on his head.

"Tell me about yourself," he said, starting to walk towards you.

"You already know enough about me, don't you?" you replied.

He gave you a calculating look as he turned to a desk and pulled up a hologram. It contained information about you and your powers, but mostly your financial assets.

"I don't normally keep tabs on petty thieves, but when I found out how much you were annoying Peter, I had to find out," he said. "Kind of weird to be fighting your boyfriend every other night, huh?"

Peter looked away, his eyes instantly going to your arm. You knew he was fighting a blush, but you were busy hiding your own embarrassment. Tony started to push Peter out of the room, and he grumbled but left regardless.

"I saw his recording from his suit. I know you don't take charity, but I would do anything for Peter. All he wants is to know that you're safe from anyone who could be a threat to him or the people he cares about. How can you be safe if you can't even pay your bills?" Tony lectured. "The least you can do is stay here for a bit until you have enough money to stay at your own place. He already worries about being Spider-Man. He doesn't need to worry about you having nowhere to stay."

You stood for a moment, looking between him and the hologram.

"Fine. But for Peter. And the second I get a well-paying job I'm out of here."

"Well, you could always work here. We have great benefits."

"And work for Tony Stark? No way."

He barked out a laugh and opened the door again, Peter rushing in to grab your hand.

"What did you say?!"

"I said yes. Quit worrying," you laughed, kissing him quickly.

Tony tapped on a few things on the screen before turning to look at you both.

"Your stuff is being moved here within the next one or two days, and I let your landlord know. He's actually kind of cool. Oh, and after we move your stuff here, can we test your powers?" Tony rambled.

"No."

"Great, we'll start tomorrow."

#x male reader #peter parker x male reader #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker x male!reader #male reader #peter parker #request

353 notes · View notes

chimswae · 3 years

Text

BTS Caretaker CH43

Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 3,043

- Author Note: Happy Musters i hope i am not too late <3 But yes i have bene busy with Musters and BTS 8th anniversary in general! i hope u guys had a blast while watching! it is day 2 today so yay!

Previous | Next

Chapter 43

“Can you reach her Yoongi?” Jin’s voice brought him back to reality. Slowly, he shook his head in dismay. The crease on his forehead was evident causing the older man sighed in frustration.

“I wonder where she is” Jin muttered as his eyes scanned the area diligently in hope to catch the girl between the huge crowd.

Supposedly today, Seul would be joining the team to USA for Billboard Music Awards. However, she didn’t show up even until now. The plane would take off in thirty minutes but she’s nowhere to be found. Yoongi clutched onto his phone helplessly, hoping to hear a single ring at the end of the line. Then again, he was greeted with a small beep and the usual robotic woman asking him to leave a message.

Frustrated, he stroked his hair back with a small groan. He tried for the umpteenth time to reach Seul again but to no avail.

“Hyung, maybe something come up. She’ll be alright” the leader reasoned.

“This doesn’t sound like her, Seul would never bail on me without words. Something happen to her, I can feel it” he got up, resting his forehead against the cold wall.

Namjoon heaved a heavy sigh “Maybe she needs to take care of Ahjumma?” “Impossible- her mother is in Jeju with Hoon. Something is off. I need to find her” he exclaimed with so much determination.

“You can’t do that. We need to get into that plane in few minutes. You can’t bail the award Min Yoongi for a mere girl” Manager Sejin stern voice sounded as though he’s challenging the older guy. It somewhat triggered his anger.

“That girl happened to be my girlfriend” he hissed lowly, offended by their manager’s remark.

Yoongi shot his manager a dissatisfied glare “Are you saying I should ditch my girlfriend and pretend this never happen? You got to be kidding me” he scoffed.

“Min Yoongi, she will be fine. I have asked someone back in the office to check on her, so please don’t do something stupid” he warned.

“Sejin hyung is right. Let’s not jump into conclusion first. I trust Seul” the tall guy gave his shoulder a light squish in attempt to calm piss off Yoongi. “Please, hyung.. Trust Sejin hyung’s words, Seul is okay. We’ll know what happen once we touch down. It is enough time to find Seul” Namjoon continued.

For some reason, that didn’t sound like an assurance. He couldn’t help this uneasiness inside him. “This isn’t right. I need to find her” he mumbled with a hint of desperation.

“And, they will find her. Let’s be positive for now” their manager patted his back-signalling others to get ready to board the flight. Seeing how Yoongi make no effort to move from where he stood, Jungkook approached the man stealthily “If Seul were here she will go berserk if she finds out you are planning to ditch our schedule for her. So, trust Sejin hyung, someone will help to find her alright?” if there’s one person would do stupid decision like Yoongi then it would be Jungkook. For now, the youngest in the group tried to reason before they ended up regretting their rash decision.

Sighing in defeat Yoongi grabbed his black leather bag and went to line up following others. There’s no way he could betray his own bandmates, his only hope lied with his company to make sure Seul was safe and sound.

---------

“Shall we begin?” his rough voice brought the timid girl out from her daydream. She stared at him in daze as if trying to read through him but no avail. Glancing at the clock, she chewed her lower lips feeling guilty for bailing on the boys and her job. What was she supposed to do? Amidst all the crazy things happening to her today, she couldn’t ignore the fact that this nasty old man was trying to ruin her family.

Gathering her courage, she looked straight into his eyes “You don’t expect me to agree doing this just because I am related to you. Your name is not on the paper. My birth certificate doesn’t have your name” she scowled.

He pressed his lips into a thin line, tugging a small smirk at the corner of his lips “ Yes I don’t see my name on the paper when your mother carelessly put Ji Hoon’s dad name on it. You do realize you are not related to Ji Hoon or his dad by blood, right?” he chuckled.

Seul curled her small hand into fist feeling the anger sipping inside her. If and only she could murder this man right away, she would do it in a heartbeat.

“And..” she heard him continued. “No matter how hard you try to deny me, it is a matter of a fact that I am still your father Ji Seul. I bred your mother, well technically” Seul hissed harshly.

“Don’t you dare to use those filthy words on my mother! I might be your daughter by blood but never by heart”

“Don’t flatter yourself young lady. You are not my daughter by heart either. You still need me though if you don’t want your boyfriend to suffer. I bet it won’t only hurt your boyfriend but also the whole band” he was so shameless when it was down to professing his intention in making Seul to agree on the terms he had just offer her.

Sighing deeply, she shook her head weakly “Don’t touch them, even a strand of their hair. Leave Yoongi alone” her voice turned rougher emphasizing her warning. There was no way she would allow Mr Kwon to ruin their career after all they did to get here. As selfish as it may sound, she’s willing to stay away from Yoongi and the rest of the members if that’s the best for everyone.

“Alright, now we are talking. I will keep the video for now. But if you try to back off, I will release it to those thirsty medias. I am sure they would enjoy to see the downfall of Bangtan Sonyeondan. Everyone does anyways”

Shivering in fear, she understood exactly what she meant by that. The release of the footage of Yoongi and her would shake entire country not only it could tarnish Yoongi’s image but also Bighit reputation as now they are at the peak of their success. What a perfect time to crash one’s happiness wasn’t it?

“So are we in the same boat?” he leaned forwards, rubbing his chin with a proud smug.

Hesitate with the decision that she’s about to make, Seul took a deep breath before nodding in agreement. This was the best for now, she will figure out how to get out from this mess later.

“Good” Kwon arose from his seat making his way to his secret vault holding a brown envelope before throwing it on the coffee table startling the girl. “The address to the private party and money. Use the money to buy you a dress. Doll yourself up, we don’t want the heir to the greatest billionaire in the country fall for another woman. I want you to grab his attention” he shoved his hand inside his pocket looking arrogant as always.

“How is that even possible? I am nobody!” bewildered by his demand, Seul couldn’t fathom the idea of grabbing someone’s attention with her look and status. Moreover, they’re talking about a son of a billionare.

He laughed half-heartedly “You are not nobody. You are Kwon’s and you will be surprised to see how influential I am. I don’t care how and what you do to get his attention, just do it” sipping his whiskey from the glass, he eyed the dumbfounded girl sternly.

“Will you be there tomorrow night?” she murmured under her breath.

“Yes I will be there. Make sure to not cause scene if you don’t want me to release the footage”

She cringed at the thought of the dangerous footage that he possessed. The idea of how her most personal life with Yoongi to be revealed that way to the world made her nauseous. Kwon was a freaking creep, like how was it possible to install cameras in Yoongi’s private studios just to catch a glimpse of their most private moment there.

Seul knew she screwed up big time for doing this without asking Yoongi or anyone, but like she had a choice. Yoongi was off to something big out there and nothing could top it. She wasn’t planning to ruin his moment, their moment because of her problem. Even though she wanted to go to Bang PD to seek help considering this had something to do with his artiste, who’s going to trust her? With all the evident in Kwon’s hand, he couldn’t manipulate and used it against her. Because after all, she was told that his reputation would surprise her.

“You can go now, you don’t want to be late”

‘Why am I doing this. This is not right’ she didn’t dare to take one last look at Kwon afraid that she might threw her fist around carelessly considering the amount of anger bottled up inside her was enough to trigger such violence.

Before she could push the door open, his voice once again halted his action “By the way daughter, I enjoyed the tape. Yoongi really know how to fuck. I get it why you are willing to do anything for him” Seul jaws clenched in anger upon hearing his rude remarks.

Pushing the door hastily, she stormed away before she started a nasty cat fight which might turn into murderous.

-----------

Three hours since their plane landed. But, still nothing from Seul.

Yoongi couldn’t even sleep during their flight which worries everyone. They knew how Yoongi took things too hard on himself sometimes that could jeopardize his health in the end. Namjoon on the other hand was trying his best to talk it out with their manager, finding possible ways to exclude Yoongi from the award shows at least until he’s in the right mind.

Namjoon knew Yoongi was not irresponsible when BTS name was in line, but he also wanted a healthy work environment for his bandmate. Plus, they’re only human. Sometimes unexpected things happen, though how much they tried to endure it whilst they tried to get into their roles as BTS members, it wasn’t healthy.

If it was possible to get Yoongi back to Seoul as soon possible, that would be the best decision for everyone. Yoongi might refuse to blow up this one chance for everyone to perform on AMA’s stage but Namjoon didn’t want him to feel remorse over his decision if something happen to Seul.

After a deep discussion he had with his managers, they finally came to a decision that if they couldn’t reach Seul until tonight, they’re sending Yoongi back to Seoul.

“I don’t agree with this idea! Whose idea is this?” his eyes widened upon hearing the news from Manager Sejin.

“It is my idea. Hyung, you know I want what’s best for you and everyone right?” Yoongi’s eyes snapped right towards the tall man who stood across him with a concern look plastered across his face.

“Kim Namjoon” he hissed. “What’s best for me is to stay here and not to hurt the band. Are you fucking serious right now? This is my life and I get to decide!” his deep voice raise one octave causing the younger members including Jin to seal their mouths tight.

It was intense considering Yoongi and Namjoon barely got caught into a serious argument these days. Namjoon pushed his glass at the bridge of his nose while emitting a deep sigh “This is important, but Seul is important too. If..if anything happen to Seul, I don’t want you to blame yourself for not be able to do at least something to find her. We promote self-love hyung, however you are yet to find a way to love yourself. Seul is part of your self-love” the young man really preached it this time without fail awing everyone in the room.

“I cant do this just because you put that idea in my mind. This is crazy” the pale man looked ten times paler ever since they reached USA three hours ago. Looking as if his soul was sucked out from his body, they couldn’t ignore the fact that Seul was part of the colours in Yoongi’s life.

Yoongi mumbled before Namjoon could even reply “I was overreacting, I am sure she’s fine like you guys said. She’ll be fine…” his voiced faded away showing his faith was shaking by the belief he projected.

“We’ll wait until tonight. If there is no news from her, we’re sending you back to Seoul Yoongi. End of discussion” Manager Sejin frowned patting the sombre man’s back making his way out the room.

Namjoon took a step closer to Yoongi, squishing his shoulder “Trust me, this is the best decision for everyone. Get some sleep hyung, you don’t look yourself. We’ll keep an eye on our phone in case we heard something from Seul” he gave him a small smile as an assurance.

He made his way weakly into his room, shutting the door behind him before throwing his tired body on bed. Yoongi knew this was unprofessional and very childish of him for letting his personal feelings got into the way, yet what else he could do? He’s too tired to deal with this shit by his own till he needed Namjoon to jump into the scene to make decision for him. Pathetic.

‘Just where on earth are you Seul? Why can’t you just say something?’ he slid his thumbs across the screen in hope to hear Seul’s voice at the end of the line. To his dismay, he was greeted by the robotic woman once again.

-------------

“Yoong, wake up… Why are you so sleepy?” his eyes fluttered open at the sound of the familiar voice. He loved the way her fingers moved in between his hair, smoothing away all the worries inside him.

The smell of her intoxicated him ‘Just like us’ like he usually described it.

“Mmmmm.. I miss you and I am sorry that I didn’t show up” her lips pursed into a pout, fluttering his heart like she always does. “But, I promise to make it up to you okay? Don’t worry about me, I am fine” her lips move at its own accord across his soft skin.

“I miss you too” he reached out to stroke her hair, making the girl to lean her cheeks against his palm liking the warmth that she gave him.

“I am no longer scared when you are here with me” said Seul sweetly along with her bright smile.

Confused by her statement, he tilted his head in confusion “What do you mean by that babe?” she only laughed it away saying it was only a random thing coming from her mouth. Liking their close proximity, her confusing words slipped off his mind.

Seul returned to leave fluttering kiss at the corner of his eyes and ended up on his lips. He was about to move their lips together as she quickly pulled away glancing around in fear. “Babe are you okay?” he sat up, reaching for her shoulder.

Her fast reflex halted his move, as Seul arose to her feet with her tears cascaded down wetting her rosy cheeks without warn scaring the shit out of the man.

“Seul-ah what happen? Tell me!” Yoongi followed her action, and he didn’t back down, taking few steps closer to his lover. His heart ached to see how scared she appeared to be “Baby girl, tell me please” she raised her palm to stop him from coming close.

“I am sorry Yoongi. I am sorry Yoongi” that’s all she abled to say in between her sobs.

She took a step backwards before sprinting away making Yoongi restless, he tried to chase after her with all his might. The image soon fades, and darkness engulfed the area.

“SEUL!” he called out her name looking around in daze.

“JI SEUL!” Yoongi never gave up until he could find way to her again.

“Hyung. Yoongi hyung, wake up!” another familiar voice rung in his ear but this time it is not Seul. He shut his eyes together using his strength to shrug away the painful ring in his ears. He clasped his ears kneeling in pain, while his world started to spin around.

“MIN YOONGI. YAH WAKE UP!”

“HYUNG ARE YOU OKAY? HYUNG…”

“MIN YOONG-“ panting heavily, he sat up abruptly causing Jin to stand up. Yoongi touched his head, groaning in pain after the confusing dreams that he had. “Yah, are you alright? You’re calling for Seul’s name non-stop” Jungkook and Jin eyes were puffy from the lack of rest.

“Hyung, we’re trying to wake you up. Are you seriously okay? You are scaring us!” said the golden maknae, as he handed a glass of plain water to him which him gladly took it. Steadying his heavy breath, he drank the water and broke the silence “Seul. I dreamed of her, she looked s-cared…She seemed-“ “Yoongi hyung you need to hear this” Namjoon barged into the room cutting off his sentence.

All eyes were on the leader, and stood behind him was Jimin, Hoseok and Taehyung looking as anxious as Yoongi. “What is it?” he gulped hoping to hear something good instead of bad one. After what he experienced few minutes ago, he feared it was a sign to this news that he about to hear from Namjoon.

“It came through your voice mail. I am sorry that I go through your phone. But I wanted to make sure that I keep an eye on it while you are resting in case Seul contacted you” Namjoon voice sounded different almost like he’s hiding something big from him.

“Namjoon.. what the hell is happening?” he got up from his bed, making his way to him.

The leader pressed his lips together in fear, as he slid his thumbs across the screen.

“Y..oongi… H..elp..me..I ..am scared..Please..help me” Seul’s voice filled the room halting Yoongi’s step towards Namjoon.

“Yoon..gi..I am s..cared”

#btscaretaker #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts x oc #bts series #yoongi x oc #jungkook x oc #kpop fanfic #jungkook idolau #yoongi idolau #suga x oc #bts romance #bts fluff #yoongi fluff #jungkook romance

13 notes · View notes

yellowbluemoonshine · 4 years

Note

One of my triggers is when someone says that villain cannot be or deserve to be redeemed. Like they acknowledge the tragic circumstances, but they say like the villain show no remorse for killing innocent people or just want to destroy everything. I really don't like people saying they want the villain have some naruto's redemption. But I feel like they missed point of why many of us want it. The villains never had a choice unlike endeavor or afo.

Agreed.

I think some people dont understand the meaning of redemption. Redemption means facing with what you did, taking responsibility and this is the best thing that person can do. To me, there is no such thing that great villain or best villain, something like improving yourself to be better villain cause being a villain is literally comes from choosing to not improving yourself to be better person. People dont choose to be evil or bad, they learn all bad things from their environment. They just simply dont choose to be better person and thats the flaw of "villains" have. Choosing to do wrong things usually comes from lack of goodness, lack of empathy.

Like, Overhaul was abandonded and traumatized by it. He was used as a tool by Yakuza. They used a child. And Overhaul became a yakuza and he truly wanted to pay his boss for taking him in. But what makes overhaul “bad” guy is not choosing to be yakuza cause he was groomed to be, his flaw was choosing to not changing. He could’ave emphatize with his underlings and could connect with them. He could emphatize with Eri cause Eri is just like her, she was abandoned and taken by Yakuza. Overhaul went to school and had people around him, instead of obsessing with past, he could open himself to new people. he could gain new different perspectives, he could at least try. Overhaul didnt suddenly decide to destroy little girl, he learnt those horrible things from Yakuza but when he could choose to be better person, he didnt.

There is a reason that Shigaraki is meant to be parallel with him. Unlike Overhaul, Shigaraki didnt go to school and he didnt have people around him, he was isolated but when he met with other people, he chose to care, listen their needs.

This shows that Shigaraki choosing to change but there are villains who doesnt want to change. I dont know that what kind of person Overhaul would be, if he had better life or if he could ever change for better but for now, he doesnt seem to want to change and story didnt give any hint about it.

There is a reason that some characters get redemption but some do not. The characters/villains who dont get redemption or who dont want to change is not cool or “loyalty to their evil cure” or something like that. They are people who choose easy ways cause redemption means taking responsibility and trying to be better person, improving yourself as person is not easy at all.

Murder is bad, wrong, yes but we all are humans equally and people dont just suddenly decide to doing worst thing. And sometimes, people dont have too much choices, sometimes they can be in hard situtions, sometimes they do things to survive, many reason can be, we cant know that. So yes, murder is bad but that doesnt mean that murderer is bad person.

The thing that many people ignore is anyone could do those horrible things. Lets say, you are in hunger game. If you dont kill, other person will kill you. Many people would choose to kill. Or lets say, if you dont kill, they will your family or you are hungry and if you cant kill that person, you wont get food. blah blah. Point is what importance is not the degree of crime.

Most important thing is How aware is the perpetrator of what he is doing? Under what conditions did he make this choice? when and where did he make this choice?

Abuse, rape, murder. These things are all bad things (i wont talk about rape cause i dont have enough information about it cause it mihgt relate a lot of things.).

For example, Endeavour abused his family, Shigaraki killed people. Many people wouldnt care abuse or bullying cause “its not like they died”, most people tell them to get over it and they ignore all the effects of abuse. (This is actually what bnha focus on. Abuse.) Well, of course killing is pretty bad though.

Now, we can ask the questions.

-What Endeavour did?

Violence towards his family

When Endeavour made this decision?

He was grown man, basically when he was an adult, an age that you are responsible for your actions cause you can see the difference between right and wrong and you are capable of holding yourself

Under what conditions did he make this choice?

He did work so hard to be No 1 hero but he failed, um, he has money, access to a lot of things, good education so of course, when you worked hard and you dont get results, you will be so upset, it would be hard. But we can say that Endeavour wasnt even really in hard sitution at all.

What kind of choices he made?

He chose his ambitions over well being of his family. So basically he made very selfish decision with his own will for the sake of selfish desires and it resulted with other people’s getting hurt and Endeavour didnt even care about that.

How this selfish decision affect other people?

His wife became unstable and stayed in hospital for 15 years, she is still in there

Shouto lost his all childhood, he was traumatized and still having flashbacks from his trauma

Fuyumi had to act like a parent since her young age, Natsuo has anger issues cause of all this stuff

Touya/Dabi literally dealing with mental issues, identify disorder cause of abuse effects

So basically, Endeavour is fully responsible for what he did.

Btw for the people who dont know, this is a crime in real life, he should be arrested but look at what he got. He decided to change, like 6 months ago or something. Except of his hero job, he apologised and left the house for them and thats it. Rei and Fuyumi already is ready forgive him cause Rei wants his children to be happy cause Endeavour took that hapinness from them, Fuyumi just wants happy normal family cause Endeavour took that normal family life from her, Shouto is forcing himself to forgive cause to be able to be hero, he needs to work with his father and his all family wants this. From people’s eyes, Natsuo seems “someone who couldnt get over past” just because he didnt forgive his father or just because he didnt act like nothing happenned, he gets social pressure from it. This probably didnt happen, if Endeavour wasnt prohero.

Now, lets look at Shigaraki.

What Shigaraki did?

Murder, kidnap, threatinning, violent behaviours without hesitations

When Shigaraki made this decision?

Lets look at how it all started.

When Shigaraki chose to kill people?

when he was 5 years old? when he was 7-8 years old when Afo manipulate him to kill people? or when he became an adult and continuing this murder?

Point here is; children cant be responsible for crimes for a reason cause they dont have ability to understand what is right what is wrong.

so when he killed his family; it was accident except his father.

But with his father, it was self defense. Many people want to believe that it was intentional but its not, his father hit him and he reacted to violence, thats it. There is also other fact that children can not able to hold theirselves, especially like when you just watched all your family s death in front of your eyes.

So, logically he can not be responsible for his family’s death.

When he was 7-8 years old, Shigaraki is making a decision here and from this moment, he continues the murder but what kind of decision he is making? Under what conditions did he make this choice?

He was traumatized and he is dealing with abuse effects, his anger, negative feelings that he has no idea to how to deal with, he didnt get any education, he doesnt have people who will give him a different choice or people who wil give him some kind of affection, he is literally with Afo all alone, isolated, dont know what to do, doesnt know what is right and Afo says him “you have two choices”

1- suffer lonely forever like this while others are having fun but just you know, you will be disappointed for me-the person who saved you, if you stay like this

2- destroy anything you dont like and make me proud

This didnt happen right when he was 7-8,

Shigaraki is with Afo since he was 5, he listened those words for years and he hold himself back. Then the decision Shigaraki make was first one, he hold himself, until the moment holding himself is not an option. This is why he became a murder. Let me remind you, he was 7-8 so he still wasnt responsible for killing at that age.

so you can say, now Shigaraki became an adult so he can choose but we all know that people dont grow, if they dont have a chance to grow.

People kill to survive, this is not to justify murder, this is understanding of that sometimes some people can not really make choice in some situtions.

If a person is not given growth conditions, children cannot grow.

Shigaraki may have grown biologically, but mentally, he was not given the opportunity to grow. What makes us humans human is our interaction with other people.

If we do not interact with anyone, we lose our identity or in the case of Shigaraki, our personality does not occur. If Shigaraki has not grown, how can he be considered an adult?

We know that many terrible events such as trauma and violence can cause long-term damage to people's brains regarding mental health. So, how can Shigaraki's trauma be responsible for what she does, given his mental health?

We know that it is impossible not to lose mental balance in conditions of Shigaraki, it is impossible to grow, it is impossible to protect his mind against manipulation at the age of a child. So how exactly could Shigaraki cope in these conditions?

This is the problem. He cant not be able to handle it. Impossible.

You might say you could choose not to kill, but while the only adult who was with him showed him that it was true, and how he could otherwise deal with these feelings he had accumulated in him, what else could Shigaraki do?

Shigaraki kills without hesitation because killing is all he knows, the only thing he has been taught.

That's why Shigaraki's interaction with his team is important because it was the first time in his life that he met different opinions and people.

So he started to heal throughout the series. He chose to improve, to be a better person. So this character can get redemption.

And he feels guilty about what he does, but he does not show it by crying, he shows treating his own life as nothing and harming himself. Shigaraki may have begun to develop herself, but it does not mean that his trauma will cure magicly and he will suddenly getting away from Afo manipulation, he cant because he still hasn't given her another choice. No one was able to show him another way to survive both without suffering and having to kill. That's why it's important for a hero to reach out him.

Yes, Shigaraki killed a lot of people and they didnt deserve it, of course but whether he killed one person or killed million people, he had no choice. Everyone wants this character to pay the price because they want to blame someone for those much death, whereas like Afo and Ujiko who made Shigaraki suffer, those who choose not to reach Shigaraki when they can reach like Gran Torino etc, are more responsible than Shigaraki for what they did because they choose. But Shigaraki is just putting into practice what he has been taught, thats all he knows.So people really want to blame someone, they should blame people who could do something about it but choosing not to, they could blame the people who hurt this kid for their selfish reasons, they shouldnt blame the kid who is just reacting his pain cause he doesnt have a choice, he is not making a decision and people REACT.

Shigaraki can not understand his actions of how he effect other people / effect of his actions cause he is hardly be able to see them as an indiviluas, thats what happens, when you live your life as isolated. Shigaraki cant care other people s life while his own life was treated as worthless, they literally ignored his pain, even when he was a child. Shigaraki cant emphatize with people in society who have good lifes cause he never felt a safety his all life, there is no way he can understand their comfort. So basically, in those conditions, its not that Shigaraki doesnt want to emphatize with them, he CANT.

(This is why he asked Deku cause he is trying to understand at least to be able to improve himself for better which is the most important thing).

This is why people like Afo, Ujiko, Hero commity, Endeavour, they are worse than people like Shigaraki, Dabi, Hawks, Toga etc cause those people who created these “monsters” with their full will for the sake of their selfish desires. They are more responsible for monster’s actions than monsters casue they are the one who groomed them, rebuild their mindset.

That was also the subject of the Frankeinstein story. The monster may have killed a lot of people, but who created the monster? How does the monster become guilty when there are people who can teach him the truth, but don't choose to teach it, while the monster doesn't know what it's doing is right and wrong? However, he was not taught better. So how can he choice better, if he hasnt taught better? HE CANT.

As many as people want, may think Shigaraki is making a choice right now and that he's a bad guy, but in those circumstances, it was impossible for Shigaraki to choose a better option.

What do you expect to happen when you close someone in a room for years, stop him from talking to people and subject him to constant violence?

Do you think that person will not react to this violence?

Do you expect that person to behave like human while that person lives away from all kinds of human conditions?

Under these conditions, it is nonsense to expect better than Shigaraki.

In other words,

murder is apparently worse than violence, but an adult like Endeavor, who chooses exactly what he is doing without caring about the harm to other people, is fully responsible for what he does. Shigaraki, on the other hand, cannot really be held responsible for what she did, as it is impossible to act otherwise under these conditions.

So i understand that people are upset with death of people which is normal, those people who were killed by Shigaraki didnt deserve it at all but people need to understand that Shigaraki didnt have better choice, path than this. People say “this doesnt justify” cause they are scared of that the person will get away from what he did but point here is he doesnt get away from anything, he is victim whose all choices and humanity taking away from him so treating this victim as villain who just should defeated is NOT justice. If people want to blame someone, they should blame the people who are TRULY responsible for this, not the victim whose humanity stolen from him. Thats the point here.

By the way, not everyone has to be like Shigaraki. Shigaraki is already a character designed to be the ultimate victim. The reason it parallels with Deku is not because they are both heirs, but because they are both essentially the same kind child. But not everyone could be this kind, they could react worse and they might not have adapted to change that much. Shigaraki is just a tragic example of even you are the kindest person in the world, in terrible conditions, you would be just like Shigaraki or probably worse. He is a tragedy character, symbolize the victimhood that shows untentionally with most unpleasant ways. (Toga, Dabi, Shigaraki etc they all symbolize effects of violence though, they are not choosing a decision but actually just reacting the violence they endured, thats all, maybe i can make analysis about it later.)

Redemption is not about deserving or not. It's about wanting to be a better person but facing your creations or not. And if a villain receives redemption, it already shows that he has this potential from the very beginning, potential to be a good person, actually he was not as bad as that was thought, that is. Well at least, well-written redemptions work like this. In other words, villains such as Joker or Ujiko that will not receive redemption have nothing to admire. Choosing to be a villain until the end of your life is not something to be proud of, it is something to be ashamed of, because this is proof that you don't want to improve yourself.

I was just gonna say “i agreed” and make it short but i guess, i am kinda bored and this post became my rant, lol. Thank you anon btw.

#endeavour #shigaraki tomura #child abuse #abuse #bnha abuse #shimura tenko #mha redemption #anon

59 notes · View notes